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yelenabelovasbxtch · 2 years ago

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Crush On An Archer PT.1

a/n: Hey! Omg long time no see! I kinda maybe lost interest in writing for a bit there but tbh I think I'm back. No promises because I don't want to promise and then break your hearts but also I realllyyyy enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoy reading it! Will def be making a part two in coming days so stay tuned. LMK if you want to be added to the taglist, I am going to put some tags of past taglists below just in case they are interested in reading :) ALSO! Special shout out to @scmg11 because their writing is honestly what made me wanna get back into it. So,,I hope you enjoy!

Kate X Fem!Reader

Concept: Reader has a crush on Kate (school/Uni setting) and she doesn't know how to tell her.

Warning: Cussing, mentions of smut, IM TRYING TO WRITE SLOW BURN BUT BEAR WITH ME ITS NEW!

Word Count: 2.7k

You’re a month into your summer vacation and things couldn’t be more…boring. You love and appreciate your parents dearly for putting out the money so that you could attend a prestigious school in New York with a kick ass archery team but does it ever suck to be this far from all your friends for four months. To make the situation work, your dad had to transfer jobs to another state that pulls in a little more money annually with slightly more affordable housing but that means you aren’t even near the people you grew up around. Rural Mississippi is a fairly big step from living in Boston. Boston at least had people, out here it’s like you’re lucky if you get to meet a neighbour because the land has us all so far apart. In all honesty, although it’s boring, you really have one specific reason for being so bummed out. Towards the end of your last semester, you got started getting closer with one of the girls a year younger on your team, Kate. Typically the older girls competed and practised together and the younger girls did the same. Although you two were only a year apart it’s just how things worked out, so you didn’t cross paths very often. However, one day you were walking home from class, stopped to get coffee and basically bumped into her. The meeting was really brief but it was enough to make you catch feelings almost instantly.

Your interest in her grew as you followed her on Instagram and she followed back. Obviously you took a peak at her page and scrolled to the bottom laughing at the really cringey posts from 2015 she had still up. All you wanted to do was talk to her again but you didn’t know how, although she was a year younger than you she intimidated you so much. Her deep blue eyes were honestly enough to make you stutter whenever you had the chance to talk to her. A month had gone by already and you could not wait to get back to school so you could see her again. Luckily, coach has yearly “team-building” days before the season starts and they’re about half way through the summer so hopefully you can talk to her before then and maybe convince her to hang out when you come back to school.

Over the next week or so you liked a few story posts that she’d upload every now and again but the day finally came where you felt like you could swipe up and respond to it…y’know…maybe spark a little conversation.

“Damn Bishop, is this a new bow?” In response to a story post of her showing off some of her off season training.

“Haha yeah it is, flips out and everything…it's really freakin’ cool.” She replied almost instantly and that made a giant warm smile come across your face.

Shit– what do you say back? Your main goal was honestly to keep the convo going so you could subtly mention down the line hanging out with her.

“Yeah that’s sick, wow I’d kill to try something like that out.”

“Well next time I see you, please by all means give it a shot” She replies back.

“Might just have to take you up on that. How’s your summer going anyways?”

“It’s alright, kind of boring though. All my friends from school move back home and I am working for my mom’s company over the summer so it all is just kind of dull. I miss going out and having fun. Wbu?”

“Yeah, I hear that. I am SO bored here. I would kill to fast forward to the fall, I miss being at school honestly. There’s only so much I can do by myself here during the summer.”

“Ugh right! I want it to be school again too but don’t get me wrong, I love the summer, the weather is great here recently and the nightlife is amazing too. I just have nobody to go with, you know.”

“Yeah I get it. Trust me, if I could be there to go out with you I would, there is definitely no nightlife here haha.”

Shit. That wasn’t too forward was it? She is taking a while to respond to you. She hasn’t even opened the message yet.

*4 minutes later*

“Well, you’re going to be around for that team-building thing coach has us doing in a couple of weeks right?”

“Yeah, I should be.”

“Well, we can go out then if you want? Me and a few friends had plans but they’re all on the team and I’m sure they’d love to have you there too.”

“Yeah, that sounds great I’d love to!”

The conversation pretty much ended there and your contact with her was fairly limited, just a small comment here or there until you finally got to fly back to school for summer training. You settle back into the apartment you left a couple months ago, everything is still a mess where you left it but the kitchen and living room are even filthier since you are not around to clean up much after your roommates. You decided to wait until your team practice to talk to Kate about hanging out again. You didn’t want to come on too strong but also a small part of you feels like she forgot what she said months ago and you won’t end up seeing her, not outside of team stuff at least.

You grabbed your gear and headed to the field where practice was being held. You saw some of your friends from last year and decided to catch up with them before coach pulled you all in to start practice. You were trying your best not to make it obvious but your eyes were tracking all around you looking for Kate but she was nowhere to be seen.

*Whistle* “Okay team! Let’s bring it in. First, I just want to say thank you to everyone for making the effort to come back to campus for this, meeting I–”

“SORRY SORRY SORRY!” You hear the coach interrupted as footsteps are fast approaching the circle of archers.

“Hi Kate.” Says coach.

“I am SO sorry. My driver was running late and then there was traffic because of a giant accident, I think there was some battle in the streets again, I don’t know, either way, my bad coach, won’t happen again…I promise.” She says with the most adorable grin that is absolutely saying she will be late again.

“It’s alright Kate, it happens, I was just telling the team how thankful I am that everyone could make the trip back to campus for this.” Coach went on to talk about the drills you were doing for the day and man was it hard to not be in awe watching her. You tried your best not to stare all day because the last thing you wanted to do was make it obvious but fuck it felt impossible. The day came to an end and you packed up your gear, Kate was talking with the other seniors on the team as they were gathering their things and started to head out. You could feel your window closing to talk to her but interrupting her conversation with her friends and “inviting” yourself out with them just felt too weird and uncomfortable. If it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be but you would kill to be able to just spend an hour with her.

You watched as she started to walk away towards the parking lot with her friends when all of a sudden she motioned for them to hold on a minute and she turned around and jogged over to you.

“Hey y/n! Sorry we didn’t get to catch up much during practice, I saw your shooting though it’s looking good.”

Yeah…your face is bright red. Control your shit.

“Anyways, me and a couple friends are going out later tonight to a party that one of their friends is hosting. It’s like a Hawaiian beach summer nights themed type of party so if you have something like that to wear, that would be great.”

“Yeah, I might have something, I’ll take a look when I get home.”

“Cool! I’ll text you the address once I get it off my friend and I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah, sounds good!”

“Here, why don’t you put your number into my phone, I don’t like using DM’s that much.”

You take Kate’s phone out of her hand and fill out a contact for yourself, praying that she can’t hear your heart beating out of your chest.

“Cool, thanks, I’ll send you a text in a bit.” She says with a smile and then runs off to re-join her friends.

It seems silly sitting by your phone and literally watching the minutes tick by waiting for her to text you but that’s all you could do. The anticipation felt like it was killing you.

Your phone finally buzzed with a mystery number attached, “Hey y/n! It’s Kate. So…slight change of plans.”

Fuck. Is she bailing? Your eyes were glued on the three dots as she typed and you watched as they disappeared and reappeared.

“Turns out the party is actually around the corner from my place so if you wanted to just come here first, we could pre-game and shit and then walk over together? My friends said they were going out to get their hair done so they’ll be running late.”

“Hey Kate, yeah no problem that works for me just send me your address and lmk what time you want me there.”

Kate dropped a pin of her location to you with the text attached telling you to come over at 7pm.

7pm rolled around and you were already there outside but you kind of felt like you should wait another minute or two so you weren’t RIGHT on time. Or is it weird to be a minute late? But wouldn’t being on time be weirder? Whatever, you decided to just wait a minute and then knock on her door.

Knocking on her door was the most nerve wracking thing you ever did, you were genuinely shitting bricks.

“HEY! Come in come in!” Kate eagerly yells at you as she swings the door open. She’s wearing shorts with a bright purple bikini top and a button down Hawaiian shirt over top that doesn’t have a single button done up. Are you starring? Yes. Probably? Absolutely you are.

“Make yourself at home, feel free to grab a drink from the fridge, my roommates are out of town and left all their alcohol so help yourself.” She said with a laugh.

You heard that right? Her roommates are out of town. Just the two of you…you never know.

You grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a seat on the couch next to her and yeah…the drink started going down faster than usual because of all the nerves in your stomach. The two of you made small talk for awhile but the conversation started flowing a little more naturally about 2 drinks in. Were you still kind of awkward as hell? Yeah…a little. But at least you warmed up to her a bit and weren’t acting so weird. About an hour later, her friends showed up and grabbed you guys to head over to the party. Honestly, things were going so well with just the two of you that you didn’t even want to go to this party but if it meant you got to spend more time with her then there you were. You got to the party and you honestly knew practically nobody. You weren’t exactly a social butterfly but Kate clearly was. She was talking to EVERYBODY. The boys at the party especially loved her. There was lots of laughing and flirting going on, you could feel the jealousy building but acting out was definitely not an option. You ended up socialising with a few of the other people at the party but for most of the night you stuck by Kate’s side, the two of you got pretty drunk together, pouring shots for one another and dancing in the pit of people to extremely loud music. There was a point where it felt like it was just you and her and nobody else was there while the music was blasting into your ears and the two of you were jumping together to the beat and singing out the lyrics to whatever song was on at the time. Kate got really close to you until some guy would come and pull her away in an attempt to make a move on her. Although, it never actually happened. Kate always ended up finding her way back to you. At one point she grabbed your hand and pulled you into the middle of the crowd as the two of you sang (screamed) the lyrics to “love story” into each other's faces. The party, as all do, started to simmer down. You guys actually ended up being some of the last people at the party, you stuck around to the point where the music was gone and most people were just sitting around chatting halfway sober.

“Hey, I think I’m going to go home, I am super tired right now.” Kate says to you.

“Okay, I’ll walk with you, I left my bag at your place anyways so I have to grab it.”

“Right, sounds good.”

Although the two of you had been singing and dancing for hours, she looked just as perfect as when you left and you were trying your hardest not to stare at her while the two of you were walking side-by-side.

The walk back to her place was pretty quick, when the two of you got inside you went to grab your bag and get your things together. You were desperately trying to figure out what to say to her while you were organising your stuff. You didn’t want to come on too strong but you also want to make sure that she knows you had a good time…I guess just tell her exactly that?

“I had a really good time tonight, thanks again for inviting me.” You say as you’re leaning against the wall in her hallway.

“Of course, anytime. And I did too. We should really hang out more when we come back to school.” She replies.

Kate walks towards you and stops about a foot away leaning up against the doorframe to her bedroom. The hallway is super narrow and all you can think about is pinning her against the wall while you kiss down her neck and pull her tight by her waist.

“Yeah I think so too. I guess I should probably head out.” You say as she looks at you with the softest eyes that you swore said “please stay”. You lingered for a second longer as the two of you were looking at each other, tired, kind of tipsy and on the verge of ripping each other's clothing off. All you wanted was for her to actually ask you to stay a little longer but before she had the chance you were already walking towards the door.

“Have a good night y/n.” She says. “Text me when you get home safe.”

“I will. Sleep well Kate.” You reply as you turn to look at her with a smile and step out the front door.

That goodbye felt different. It felt like there were still feelings in the air and lots that wanted to be said that wasn't. It felt like the perfect opportunity with nobody around after an amazing night together has passed but you regret none of it. Although you weren’t able to get a confirmation on whether or not Kate even likes women like you do, you knew there was definitely a type of tension between the two of you that she definitely noticed.

-- END OF PT 1 --

Taglist: @yelenaslyubov @youreatotalposer @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @amcg0605-blog @kassies-take @yelenaswife1996 @wandanatchick @lilroachsworld @inluvwithfictionalwomen @x666hours @natashaswife4125 @onetruwhore @karmasgxrl @hopelesslyfallenninlove @setsuna1415 @swiftdazer @imobsessedwithmilfss @madamevirgo @louisprettybab @splatalia-jumpanova @jediluka @t00manyfand0ms

#kate bishop #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop fanfiction #kate bishop smut #hawkeye #hailee steinfeld fanfic #hawkeye fanfic #hawkeye series #hailee steinfeld wlw #hailee steinfeld fic #hailee steinfield x reader #hailee steinfeld smut #marvel fanfic #marvel #wlw

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moonheavens · 4 months ago

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Hi my friend! You told me to send an ask about what columns you use in your fanfic tracker! <3 ty again!

omg hi yes hello! I'm so excited about you showing interest in my spreadsheet hehe so I'd be more than happy to walk you through how I've set mine up to track the fics I read. just a warning that this is going to make me sound like the biggest fattest nerd but I just love spreadsheets okay? okay?????

let me get into the deets of columns, filters etc below the break..

so basically I update the grid once or twice a week just by scrolling through My History on ao3, and doing this also allows me to go back in and leave comments/kudo's on a fic or chapter if I haven't yet. it takes me about 20 mins at most if I read a lot that week, but usually it's max 10 mins to update the whole thing.

I have my columns set up like this:

I filter this part of the grid (completed fics) by date finished, most recent on top. I pretty much only look at this part when I stumble across a fic and I'm like "have I read this before?" (although I do re-read stuff a lot) or when I'm reading all of one author's works I'll filter by their username to see which ones I've already read.

for active WIPs, the columns then look like this:

essentially the same but with progress notes in the "Read?" column, and a last updated column. I sort this part of the grid by last updated, oldest on top.

the bottom three here are WIP's that I'm subscribed to/reading. these have had recent chapter updates that I've seen and read, so I'm up to date. the top one here is a WIP I'm subscribed to/reading that had a new chapter update recently, but I have yet to read the new chapter, hence the "behind" note.

I also have another column behind all of these (WIPs and completed works) "Favourite?" where I just put an X if I really loved a fic, so I can easily filter by those if someone asks me for recommendations!

then I also have a column in which I note down the "AU" (so Hogwarts, Muggle, First War, Second War, Adaptation, etc) and a column in which I try to write something brief that's literally just my brain dump re: what the fic is about, either taken from the summary or the tags of the fic.

that's mostly it - I am a spreadsheet nerd so I love updating the sheet and it's super easy to filter for things, like how many words read so far, longest/shortest fic, most read author, etc. and it's also easy to scroll through when someone asks for a coffee shop AU rec, for example. so yeah! I hope this was helpful even in the slightest, and do feel free to pop me a DM if you want more clarity or need help :) <3

#ames asks answered #ao3 spreadsheet #ao3 stats

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cuephrase · 10 months ago

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all the penance ✨lore✨

i say "all" i will probs forget stuff lmao. if you had any questions or this posts spark some, feel free to send me an ask!!

so okay. one of the things i absolutely delight in doing as a writer is like attention to detail for oomph and drama and sometimes that comes through very clearly, like the chapter names each being a different stage of grief (which was technically not planned, as in i didn't know that from the jump but as soon as i titled chapter 1 i knew what they were all going to be), and other times it's more subtle. basically, i overthink everything but uh i have fun and now i'm going to share all that with you!!

if you are most interested in how i came up with the ending, scroll to the bottom of this post 🫡

⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️

cw: the fic is tagged with MCD and deals extensively with grief and mourning, however, !big ending spoiler!: everyone lives :)

the pov rule(s)

the pov could only ever be someone who could see ghost!tim. so ch1 and 2 are strictly tim and jason (and why we don't get jason pov until after he sees tim again). the first time we get dick's pov is after ghost!tim gets the bracelet that makes him visible to everyone!!

that being said, the reason why we don't get bruce pov until he's making the trade with tim is because i...i wanted bruce to look bad. listen, unreliable narrator is extremely important to me, okay? and the second we got bruce's pov we would see how he's actually doing vs how the boys were perceiving him and it would've ruined everything.

i wanted bruce to be incredibly frustrating, what can i say? it's relevant later, bookmark this for when i get to the Ending.

why touching hurt

okay i never found a convenient way to work this into the fic, but there is a reason why touching the ghosts was physically painful.

basically, interacting with the ghost of a loved one brings all of the grief they're feeling front and center.

this is why it hurts dick the most the night that tim dies, bc the grief is intensely fresh and raw. however, years later when he hugs ghost!tim it doesn't hurt as bad, although it still hurts a ton, bc he's had time to process his grief and heal in some ways.

this is why bruce seemed unaffected, bc he is wallowing in his grief on a regular basis but doing his best to function through it. he breaks when he's standing outside of jason's room bc he was already vulnerable in that moment and didn't have anything to cover with.

this is why it doesn't hurt jason when ghost!tim touches him, until after they've started the unwinding process.

jason and tim's relationship in this fic is very...unique. they don't mean anything to each other until after tim has died. his death wasn't really something that super affected jason for tim's sake- like he was mainly bummed for dick and bruce. and then, once jason comes back to life, tim is the same to him. ghost!tim is the only way he really knows tim. the way that ghost!jason feels about tim is very much so like, he's in Robin-mode and tim is a civilian-in-crisis.

and they trauma-bonded, but also they were only ghosts together for a month so like their relationship is this haphazard blend of intense vulnerability but still only kind-of knowing each other. plus like, ghost!jason is different than resurrected!jason and ghost!jason is who tim has a connection with- it's a mess, it's so fun. but anyways!!

jason isn't grieving tim's death until they start the unwinding process, bc for him, that is the moment that tim's death becomes real to him. and at that point, he's no longer just a civilian-in-crisis to jason- he's the last person jason promised himself he'd save and he's failing him.

the reason why touching hurts less over time, specifically prolonged contact, is bc it forces them to kind of sit with their grief and feel it and accept it rather than just shove it all down. in a way, it's helpful. extremely uncomfortable tho.

why alfred was in england

he functions too well as a buffer. i needed them to be forced to deal with each other and alfred being around gave them too many outs. also, after the trade, i didn't want dick to have anyone to lean on.

about dick

idk how many of you will agree with me, but i really think dick had it the absolute worst out of everyone. no lie, the whole thing that sparked this fic was stamp (@a-canceled-stamp, darling if you see this ilysm, and also you should def check out her fics if you haven't, cardboard box destroyed me) mentioning how much anguish dick would suffer if tim died, okay, so like dick having a Horrible Time was the origin and yet. seeing him struggle was...i was sitting there like "who could do this to him" as i typed merrily.

although!! fun fact!! the scene where dick and tim hug is one of two scenes that made my cry. it was not pretty. i get like really into the pov character's headspace when i write and so like i knew that the scene was going to be sad obviously, but holy fuck it hit me so hard. i tried to like give myself a second to cry and re-group, but the tears persisted so i had to just type and blink and power through. the scene was actually going to be a bit longer and more painful, but uh. i physically could not continue.

this dialogue exchange wrecked me, i tell you- wrecked me:

“I missed you so much.” He should really shut up now. “And I’m so sorry that I couldn’t save you. I know you said it wasn’t my fault, but it was, because if I was faster, or if I hadn’t left you alone, if I’d been the hero you thought I was-” “But you are.” “I failed you.” The words are sharper than stomach acid in his mouth. “No, you didn’t.” Tim says. He edges closer. “Without you, I would have died alone. But you saved me from that.”

omfg it's making me tear up again, help me. *scrolls so i can't see it*

i did bum myself out with that tho, bc ch 3 was bargaining and i lost a moment of bargaining bc of my weakness.

dick was supposed to plead with tim to stay, to put off moving on for even just a day. and tim was going to be like conflicted but say something like, "if you really want me to, i'll stay an extra day. for you." and dick would realize how much the request was hurting tim, even if he was willing to give dick what he wanted, and know, awfully, that even though he just got his brother back, if he loved him he had to let him go again.

which yk. ow. but ultimately, i do think it worked out for the best!! i think i was able to cover all that emotional anguish later.

fun parallel

cw: vomit/throwing up

so penance is a sequel, but bile is sweeter is 100% optional. however, if you did read bile is sweeter you might have noticed this fun callback:

Tim didn’t need to ask Jason which was worse anymore. The bitter taste of failure in his mouth made the bile sweet in comparison.

bile is sweeter

Sour and sharp, the leftover bile burns in his mouth. It’s still a sweeter flavor than failure.

penance, ch 5

now i point this out, not bc it's an easter egg (this post would be miles long if i was doing all that), but bc it's actually a really fun, depressing reversal. in the first fic, tim feels like a failure bc he knows he's dying. however, in the second, tim feels like a failure bc he's alive.

i was super hoping i'd be able to twist that, and it was super satisfying. honestly all the body horror with tim was incredibly fun- at the beginning when he's a ghost and in denial about it but can't help noticing all the things that are missing. this line in particular was really fun imo:

Tim crept closer, the terror in his chest building. It was such a quiet terror without his heart pounding.

and then, hopefully, bc lacking a pulse/heartbeat had been reinforced as a trait of ghost!tim, i was able to immediately signal what the results of the trade were when ch 5 opens:

He can feel his heart beating in his chest.

which. opening ch 5 was a Challenge. i wanted it to be very in the moment and even though tim was alive, i didn't want there to be any sense of like relief or peace. i also didn't want to flat out say "Tim is alive and Bruce is dead!!", partially bc i knew people were expecting a twist, like even if i brought tim back i might've done a fake-out as far as who traded with him. i don't drag it out very much, and i don't think it's a surprise for anyone who wasn't guessing a fake-out. but that is also why the chapter opens the way it does- one by one you get a name, so you can confirm who's alive.

but back to the body horror!! tim having a hard time re-adjusting to being human again was so much fun to write. partially bc of like all the little details, all those small things about existing that you might not notice, but also bc all of those things were working together to remind tim that he was alive- which he was not happy about. like. everything was a trigger for the poor kid.

oh!! another really fun parallel/reversal, that i can explain now bc i explained why touching the ghosts hurt- ghost!jason is the one who has to explain to tim that he's dead, right? he's the one that helps tim figure that out and learn the ropes of being a ghost. and he's comfortable in that role. however, despite that, jason is the one that has the hardest time coming to terms with the fact that tim is not alive. this one makes me !!! because like if you notice, ghost!jason never actually says "You're dead" to tim. i mean, it is implied often and evident via context clues, but yeah!! like look:

“Am I…? I’m-” The word stuck in his throat. He tried to say it again and only succeeded in making that hollow feeling inside him expand. “Aren’t I?” He stared at Jason helplessly. He understood what Tim was asking, didn’t he? Oh god, why had he asked him. He didn’t want to know. Jason glanced away, blinked rapidly. Nodded. “Yeah.” He moved as if to pull Tim towards him, then stopped himself. “You are.”

even in this moment, jason can't bring himself to like fully admit that tim is dead- neither of them say the word, partially bc they don't need to to know what they're talking about but also it's like a fun lil speck of foreshadowing that jason wil really struggle to grasp that the tim he knows is a dead kid.

which, if you're like, hey wait a minute cue, but jason knew that there was a second dead robin and it was part of what made him upset with bruce, sooooo. correct!! so the reason for this is bc of jason's memories getting all messed up. he doesn't super associate the ghost he knew to the robin that died after him, mainly bc he didn't think the ghost memories were real. his fury over the follow-up robin's death is more about the Principle of the Thing than 'you're actions lead to the death of someone i care about'. plus like, there is no robin when jason comes back to life- robin is someone who has died. but tim? tim is exactly like jason remembers him. so they just kind of exist as like separate entities for jason. which is-

don't get me started on the character's headspaces, okay, we will be here for hours. i was having the absolute time of my life working out their reactions and relationships fr

tim's memorial case (or really, the lack thereof)

remember how i said earlier i was going to cycle back to wanting bruce to look bad? well. obviously the lack of a memorial case was a big strike against him.

highlighting that particular detail was really fun, even if i felt manipulative af for it bc i knew that the only reason there wasn't a memorial case is bc it was too hard for dick to have that.

fun fact: within the scope of the fic rn, i don't think tim ever finds out about this? this gets revealed when dick and jason are fighting (gah also super fun) and in the whirlwind of shit that happens just does not get brought back up.

it's also one of those things that really emphasizes that to dick, bruce, and alfred, tim was dead. a couple things may have happened here and there that made their skin prickle, but overall they were just...grieving. they didn't suspect any ghosts. bc really, the lack of a memorial isn't that heinous- yes, it's hurtful to tim, but they have no way of knowing that. and to them, they know how much tim means to them and the different ways they carry his memory with them every day.

like, tim thought they didn't do anything on the anniversary of his death. he thought bruce went out like it was any other night. which just showcases how being geo-locked inhibited ghost!tim's awareness. like, he thinks he's omniscient to an extent when it comes to bruce and alfred, bc he's in the Manor- he sees them when they think they're alone. but he isn't with any of them 24/7, even if he is seeing them in situations he wouldn't have when he was alive.

truly so many misconceptions in this series- i love it sm.

the ending

look. there were a lot of ways i could have ended this fic. however, stamp had mentioned not really liking sad endings, and i took that as a personal challenge. how could i write this fic about grief, in all of it's messiness, and deliver an ending that felt tonally and thematically in line that wasn't sad? honestly? i had no clue. before i started writing the first chapter, i knew that i wanted everyone to live, but i had zero clue how i was going to achieve that.

now, in general, i do not plot. i had 5 scenes in mind when i started writing this fic, and none of them were in the last chapter. i started that last chapter blind. well. sort of. i had a sort of mental checklist- i knew i didn't want the end to feel like a cop-out or contrived, so i had these three things i wanted to establish before there was proper hope for bruce's return:

the boys could not save bruce

tim accepting the fact that he was wanted and loved

jason accepting them as his family

and even tho we do get bruce's pov before all of these get established, they do occur before bruce is offered the deal and there's like a tangible, in-story plausibility that he might live.

the only other thing i knew for certain was that bruce was going to have to choose his kids over his parents. but i didn't know how that was going to get set up.

when the shadow-spirit came onscreen, that's when i saw how bruce could get his loophole.

the shadow-spirit is a soul guide, it's whole entire job getting bruce to the Afterlife and it's super fed up with bruce bc he's not going. time isn't supposed to keep looping the way it is. it thought that by giving bruce his parents, the transition would be quick and easy and yet this one is struggling. it doesn't offer the deal to bruce out of kindness, but cruelty. it thinks it knows how to out-think and break bruce, and kind of wants to punish him for making its job so difficult.

fun fact about the shadow-spirit: it looks the way it does for two reasons- one bc i couldn't picture a person and decided to stop trying and two so that i could get this line:

The darkness rushes at him, consumes him.

which tickles me bc darkness is literally rushing at him, but also the metaphor?! so much fun.

i also needed bruce to get his memories back bc it was Very Important to me as the writer that bruce knew exactly what he was doing when he chose his sons/chose to live by letting go of his parents. bc in that moment, bruce is accepting the fact that they're gone and he can't save them, even if he wishes he could. which is such a big deal for bruce bc his grief over losing them motivates him sm.

but i truly believe that he loves his kids so fiercely that as much as he would want to choose the happy life he never got to have with his parents, he would give that all up if he got the chance to continue being their father. bc he knows what it's like to be a son and lose your parents. but it’s still a hard sacrifice for him. so hard.

bc his parents are the easy choice, yk? who would blame him, really. and the boys already think he’s dead and can’t be saved, and as we see, they’re a mess but they’re coming together. they would never know that bruce could have come back to them if bruce decided not to. and bruce would forget that he ever knew them, so he wouldn’t even have to mourn them. so it’s tempting.

which is why i think it’s so !!!!!!!! when he chooses his kids bc i think it’s like believable that he might not choose them. within the story, and also outside of it, bc readers trusted/expected me to be evil and last we saw the boys, things were rough but they were coming together.

the boys could heal. bruce could be free.

but that’s not the story i wanted to tell. it’s not about accepting death. it’s about accepting life.

this is also why you don't see how the trade with bruce and tim goes down until the very end- it wasn't just so i could leave things off on a cliffhanger. it was so i could end it on this sentence:

He accepts the trade.

yes, bc it reflects the title of the chapter, fun, but bc by accepting the trade, tim is accepting life. which in some ways, is still me making commentary about the grieving process, bc in my experience, one of the hardest parts is accepting that you yourself are still alive. you've got to find some way to keep going despite the loss.

but it's also me making commentary about superheroes and the genre, bc yk, they're typically pretty damn willing to die for others. they'll make that ultimate sacrifice. but in some ways, the harder sacrifice is not dying, is choosing to live and deal with the aftermath of tragedy.

the title

penance: voluntary self-punishment inflicted as an outward expression of repentance for having done wrong.

and that’s kind of what they’re all trying to do the whole fic, sacrifice themselves as punishment for their perceived mistakes and shortcomings.

but their basic premises are wrong. death is not their fault. they are not mistakes. there’s nothing they need to atone for. all they need to do is be there for each other.

anyways!! i think that's everything i can think of rn, shy of like dissecting the whole entire fic. if you read through all this (and/or the fic itself), tysm for entertaining my ramblings!!

#penance #cue's fic

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shadowgast-recs-weekly · 1 year ago

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Survey Results! Finally!

I’m finally getting to posting the survey results! It’s taken about a month longer than I expected – work got busy and my laptop screen is busted. Also, writing this out took was longer than I expected – ten pages in total. And that’d be a horrible tumblr post. So instead, here’s the main findings and the longform answers, and you can take a look at the google doc here for a more in depth analysis from each question.

Main Findings:

Respondents are about evenly divided as to whether or not they reblog.

People generally kudos and comment!

Nobody knows we have a fic randomizer. (We have a fic randomizer. It’s on the spreadsheet)

Sixty percent of respondents either do or would self rec

The biggest write in answer for why people don’t rec is shyness

The biggest reason for why people don’t read is they don’t remember to go back

Opening up the reclist is contentious, people are generally okay with a script and could use a reminder

What we're doing/did in response:

There’s now a @reclister role on AiFL, request it to get pinged when the rec list goes up or to get reminders as to when to rec

I’m posting what fics have been recced with the 24 hour reminder and the tag list.

I’ve added ‘Less Common Authors’ as a possible theme

I’m going to open up the reccing sheet to everyone – I just have to lock down some stuff first

I’ll update the value filters for the reccing sheet

I’m going to work on a script that updates the basic fields (title, author, word count, rating, ect) for the form. This one might take a bit.

And now , the long form responses, under the cut:

Thanks to everyone who was thankful that I was doing this! We’re just going to be a thanks ouroboros, happily!

The reason I don’t rec every week is that I find writing summaries hard, everything else is easy for me/The summaries aren’t very useful to me:

So, a short guide to writing summaries for recs:

If the author has something that works – you can always copy it. Part of the reason why this isn’t ‘just a copy and paste what they have’ option is that AO3 summaries can take up space, and we don’t want folks to get sad about having to scroll lots. But if the author has a sentence at the bottom of the summary that explains everything, there’s no reason to do more work.

If the author didn’t provide a one sentence summary, then include the basics of the plot. (Essek gets dicked down by Caleb, Essek and Caleb skip through the wildflowers together, aeorian magic turns Caleb into a capybara and Essek into a hot tub filled with oranges, ect). Then add an adjective or two that has something to do with tone. (A hilarious story about Essek being dicked down by Caleb, a tense account of Essek and Caleb skipping through the wildflowers together; Aerian magic turns Caleb into a capybara and Essek into a hot tub full of oranges. It’s surprisingly romantic.) Think about how it made you feel, what genre you would put it in, what tags you’d add on storygraph.

Don’t worry if it’s kind of dry! A) It’s probably less dry than you think, and b) you can do more gushing within the ‘what you liked about it’ section.

One last thing to remember – there’s no one right way to make a summary, people are looking for different things.

If the rec form was opened up to people who aren’t on AIFL don’t you think the name would need to be changed to reflect that it’s not an AIFL thing anymore?

Maybe! I wasn’t planning on not posting it on AiFL, and I’d suspect that the majority of reccers would still be AiFL members (just because getting notifications of something on tumblr is a lot harder). But to be honest, this would be a relatively small issue.

I'm not a huge shadowgast fan, but I think reclists are cool, and sometimes the fics are relevant to my interests

Thanks! Have you heard about the other reclists? There’s @critter-genfic-events for a genfic one that was started by @Professor-Rye and is now being run by @operafloozy, there’s @widomaukficrecs, and I also have the reccing blog tools (group version or single user) in case you want to start your own!

Less a suggestion and more a general thought. I believe the anonymity of the reccers is an important part of this process and I am in no way saying that should be removed, but at the same time, it does feel impersonal, like a lack of commitment to one's tastes. Word of mouth doesn't tend to sway me to read new fic when I don't know the mouths the words are coming from. That said, take this with a grain of salt because, for the time being, I'm not the target audience of the rec lists.

Hey thanks for the comment! I agree with you! There’s a definite trade off in not knowing whether a reccer’s tastes line up with your own. It means that there’s not a great way to add moderation into the rec list, and with anonymity being an ever- dwindling resource on the internet, people’s attitudes towards it have shifted further into suspicion of intent. Even when it’s something like a rec list, I think there can be an anxiety about people finding a way to use it to bully authors – moreso than even having a consistent pseudonym. When really, I think there’s a good reason why reccers might want anonymity. Admitting you like something can be a vulnerable act! Social anxiety was the number one write-in reason as to why people didn’t rec, as is. I want people to feel comfortable reccing fics that are weird or kinky or require a lot of different warnings, and I wanted people to feel comfortable reccing their own fics. And it’s one thing to leave a kudos on someone’s work while signed in – something nobody else is going to see unless they bother to look – and another to put your name saying you enjoy any sort of beastiality or noncon or whatever else where any purity culture lover can object to on tumblr for all to see. The last thing I want is for people to be hurt or harassed because they participated in something that’s supposed to be a net good.

Anyway, this is all saying that I don’t think your concern is unfounded – and while I’m not likely to change anything about this rec list’s anonymity, if anyone else wants to try their hand at running one, it’s something to think about.

Also, I know I tend to read fic the same way, but it does seem to be a ton of repeat authors week-to-week, so maybe if once in a while the list can be to branch out to a never recc’d person?

I really like this idea, but the logistics of it are a little complex. I crunched the numbers, and out of 558 recs, there’s been 175 authors recced. Which is admittedly is a lot of overlap, but also that’s a lot to expect reccers to keep track of. But a top ten list should be doable! I crunched the numbers a couple of different ways – top numbers of times an author was recced, top number of different fics recced by an author, and top number of themes recced, which got me a list of fourteen authors – that seems doable. It’s now a possible theme.

More Information I got from number crunching includes:

86 authors have only been recced once

418 fics have been recced, 324 have only been recced once.

Most recced fics are Hard Mouth at seven times.

Royalgreen has had the most recs at 24, the most fics recced at 18, and the most themes recced at 17, but they also have 51 Critical Role Fics, so.

Further info can be found in this details sheet. I've also added a randomizer for general use, just because.

knowing upcoming themes further in advance

This can be done – it’s how the genfic rec list is currently set up. (as a note, while I’m currently running the genfic rec list, @professor-rye was the one to create it).

The AiFL rec list is currently set up so you can rec fics after the tumblr post, with the idea that people would probably look at the list of recs at the google sheet – which I realize isn’t the way it’s currently used. So you can still rec later, it just doesn’t have the same visibility. (The two exceptions for this are the ‘older recs’ and the ‘hidden gems’ recurring themes, because we know they’re going to recur and they’re not likely to be ineligible when the theme rolls around again, the way works in progress might be).

Logistically, the selecting the upcoming themes in advance doesn’t work as well from the admin side. Instead of remembering that next week is the last Tuesday of the month, I’ve got to remember to count the Tuesdays and order the progress. Right now the way it goes is that we pick the theme from the randomizer right before we post the reclist, so the same theme gets pasted into the ‘next week’s theme’ section, the google form, and the tumblr post at the same time. If I’m choosing a theme a month out, I select next month’s theme, add it to the google form, then go back and check what I’d selected a month ago and post that into the tumblr post and next week’s theme.

There’s also the fact that if we give too much lead time, it means folk procrastinate and forget. Most of the recs currently come in soon after I post the tag list or the 24 reminders as is, and while some people on the gen fic reclist post for multiple weeks at a time, I find that most of the recs are for the week of, anyway.

Anyway, I’m not completely against this, but currently the drawbacks outweigh the perks. Figuring out a different way to sort the upcoming themes for the genfic list is on my to-do list, maybe afterwards I’ll come back and revisit.

#not a rec list

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dj-of-the-coven · 2 years ago

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yo dunno if you've been asked this question before or not (sorry if you have) but where'd you get your tumblr theme? and are the colors customizable or at least have theme variants (like royale or maybe royale noir, but i honestly have never been able to find anything for the latter)??

Hey, I'm always open for questions like that! So, when you say theme, there are a couple different possibilities you might be referring to: either the colors of a basic tumblr blog (the small popup window you see via Tumblr directly) or the desktop site you receive automatically upon acquiring a URL. You should get everything you need for the in-site customization when you first make a tumblr blog--and I'm most familiar with this on desktop, so forgive me for not providing details on mobile--but anyway, it would be discoverable through your blog editor in the same place you go to edit your description, title, pfp, etc. As for my desktop blog, this was made using customizable HTML (hypertext markup language), or a basic programming language for websites used in tandem with CSS (cascading style sheets). There is also a section of JavaScript on my blog which is for the sparkles that follow the cursor on my page. All three of these languages can be used to make your blog virtually whatever you want, but considering the question, I'll operate on the basis that you don't know how to code. How can you get a customizable theme?

Follow these simple directions:

go to settings

select your blog on the right sidebar (should look like this but with your blogs instead of mine)

scroll until you see this setting

if not enabled, enable custom theme

click edit theme

At this point, you should see an editor much like this, but with your desktop site, which is likely going to be a generic model.

I will be proceeding in this guide assuming that you don't know HTML. To get a custom theme, select the icon on the left sidebar that says browse themes.

You will then see the sidebar change to feature Tumblr's generic theme and probably one or two paid ones. Look to the bottom of the sidebar to find this fun lil guy:

Then do me a favor and select it.

On the new page that pops up, you should be able to find hundreds and hundreds of themes made both by professionals and amateur programmers, some of them with price tags, but plenty of others totally free! To install a theme onto your blog, first find one that fits your tastes about right. Don't fret too much about colors and images, because the vast majority of themes will allow you to customize that--you just need the computer to know where to put things. Let's take a look at some of the featured selections here.

Let's say you want to try the first theme! Select it so this window pops up on your computer.

Preview and install do exactly what it says on the tin. For now, let's scroll down a little bit to check this theme's stats...

Take a look at all of this stuff to make sure that it does what you like, and make sure that you understand what you're signing up for. It's totally reversible in the sense that you can install the generic theme again at any time, but remember that whatever theme you already have WILL change when you install this. Always check for accessibility features as well! Depending on your needs, you might need to know if the programmer whose code you're borrowing has put any flashing lights or gifs in the layout before you download. Better safe than sorry.

Once you've decided on a theme, go ahead and click install.

It shouldn't take long afterwards for your blog to finish rearranging itself. Once it's finished, mosey over to your desktop site to check out how it's changed!

Most themes that you can download will include their own customization options that you can find using the same method we used earlier to open up this part of the blog editor:

Just use the left sidebar to make any changes you might want to make to your theme in there. The theme description should've listed everything you can customize before downloading, and it'll all be right there in that menu! Most themes will let you change the color, images, backgrounds, links, music, or any other custom features to your heart's content through those controls. And if you're still unsatisfied, you can open up your blog's HTML file by clicking the edit HTML tab at the top of the left sidebar. Make sure you read some basic guides on code insertion if you do, though. It can be a little tricky to reverse garbage code if you put it in the wrong place.

Let me know if I can do anything else, anon! Good luck and happy customizing!

#asks #web revival #surfin' the web

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unohanabbygirl · 2 years ago

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I’ve been following along with your HIPS x FMN posts and I’m totally invested. Could you give us more angsty headcanons?

I’d be more than happy too. Ngl, I’ve been thinking about this AU for a while now so I have quite a few.

First off, getting into Osferth’s headspace is important because the plot revolves around his existence just as much as it does Luke’s past life and former trauma’s. Being a child born of r*pe isn’t an easy plight to come to terms with and creates insecurities regarding self-worth as well as your place in the world. Knowing that the worst thing that’s ever happened to your mother is what led to you being born is traumatic within itself. It’s something that never leaves your head, always there to remind you that you shouldn’t exist, that you ruined the possibility of your mother having a great life and doing amazing things. Luke could’ve been someone history regarded as one of the best Lords Driftmark had ever seen, but because of him Luke is no more than a victim whose been the subject of perverse and degrading art for centuries.

The constant reminders hurt, especially living in modern day. He’s still very young so being such a big (and slightly controversial) topic in history gets to him easily. He’s been forced to listen to strangers good and bad opinions regarding his mother and the choices he made. Judging what Luke should’ve done differently or how he fucked up by doing x,y,z despite the fact that he was no more than a scared kid himself. Osferth has always been a kind, understanding boy so it drives him up the wall that people can’t find it in themselves to see that his mother isn’t a topic to fuel their debates but a human being. Its a lesson to him that teaches him not everyone is capable of empathy or can put themselves in someone else’s shoes like he can.

Egg gathering evidence for months to reveal to the family that Aemond has a twisted fixation with graphic paintings depicting Luke’s assault hits Osferth hard. Though everyone did their best to make sure we wasn’t subjected to every piece of evidence available he still decided to do his own research after listening in while hiding at the top of the staircase. It leads him to googling the museum and taking some time to scroll through their website where he finds an entire category dedicated to art with Luke as the subject amongst other popular historical figures. The first page is tame and even leads him to shedding a few tears. Filled with beautiful pieces of paintings and sculptures alike that depict he and his mother as holy figures. Mostly of him as a newborn in Luke’s arms.

Sadly, the next click is where things start to get darker. Osferth doesn’t even make it to the bottom of the second page when he exits out and deletes his history without a second thought because there’s a chilling look of fear in Luke’s eyes as he tries to push a lust ridden Aemond off of him. Some are from as early as the late 12th century with price tags that go upwards of hundreds of millions. Little descriptions going on about the complex beauty of pain, forbidden lust and tear jerking push and pull between primal instinct and basic morality.

He doesn’t talk to anyone for a few days after that. Makes it a point to block Helaena’s phone number too after the bs she spouted in her brother’s defense. She never tries to contact him anyway, not after the absolute disaster she made of his 12th birthday party after showing up uninvited with Maelor and the twins.

One of Osferth’s most difficult struggles regards his looks which is understandable. He’s a carbon copy of Aemond and there’s not much he can do about it. He’s come to Rhaenyra about it quite often, voiced his own issues with how he looks as well as asking if she resents him for it. Ofc she tells him no, gives him a big and and assures that she could never see Aemond she looks at him. Same as his own mother did after he learned the truth.

Unsurprisingly, this doesn’t help much.

Soon enough Osferth goes down the rabbit hole of cosmetic procedures to change his most striking features. He’s still a young teenager (I picture somewhere around 13) so it’s not as though he can go under the knife, but this doesn’t stop him from becoming borderline obsessed with changing his looks via surgery once he’s of age. Perhaps a nose job or chin shaving, maybe both along with some filler to make his face less angular. Round out the harsh edges that he’s come to resent.

In conclusion our baby is struggling 😔

#asks

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snorfbin · 1 year ago

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just a little eensy teensy rant about eso lately

im not looking for a discussion or anything like that, this is just a rant i couldnt stuff in the tags

eso is one of those games that i want to like but it feels like with each passing day i find theres more and more to dislike about it. sometimes i feel like im submitting a ticket every week bc theres something broken i come across. stuff environmental asset that were once entirely solid can now be clipped through which prevents people from getting loot the devs stashed ontop of it

lately theyve been celebrating the 10th anniversary jubilee, 10 whole years of eso, and of course they can even do that smoothly along with literally every other event theyve put on in 2024. it started out fine but shit soon hit the fan

they made an update to pts so players can test out the new dlc and some new pts features to test out higher level builds. things were going well until about an hour after the pts was brought back online when my server, pcna, was suddenly taken offline without any warnings. i had to hop over to the server to get some info which is where i learned that the pts update hadnt gone smoothly. zos somehow crossed the wires between pts and pcna where people could bring over their max level pts toons over to pcna and i heard people had billions in gold and trillions in loot. pts and pcna were taken down for this emergency bc it absolutely wouldve devastated the player economy to have that much money flowing around. speculation on how zos would handle this was grim on the forums, generally people were expecting a server rollback and all progress they had made that day would be erased. ill give zos credit, they didnt do a rollback but just locked the accounts of those who were affected by this pts exploit so the devs could dig through their inventory and xp histories to pick out the exploits; everyone else who didnt exploit the game would be fine to continue on playing when the servers came back online

pcna was taken down i wanna say around 7 am for me and was only brought back by around 11:30 pm so thats most of the day for the event gone. to my knowledge it took a couple days for pts to come back online. overall the issue didnt bother me beyond the time the server was down at that point. those with locked accounts would receive incredibly generous gifts from zos to make up for the inconvenience of being locked out during the event. theyd get...

-16k endeavours. they can use that to buy items from the gamble crates without spending any irl money. 16k is enough to buy like 400 of the bottom tier items or just 1 of the top shelf fancy as fuck items. thats about 10 months worth of constantly grinding for endeavours

-5 replica style pages released this year for the event. you can normally get these style pages through a handful of activities but the drop rates have become infamous for how abysmally low they are. ive heard of people running 700 dolmens now throughout the whole event and they have nothing to show for it. players whove been locked out get all 5 without putting in the work

-25 confetti scrolls to make the new jubilee horse mount. normally you get these by doing 1 daily quest to get a gold event reward box, you get 1 confetti scroll per box and the event was originally only meant to go on for 18 days, youd have to spend event tickets to buy more to complete the achievement to earn the horse

so locked out players get all 3 of these overwhelmingly generous gifts to make up for the time theyve spent locked out during the event. usually whenever zos actually feels bad about a blunder they just give us some ugly as fuck pity pet and move on with their shenanigans. theyre basically sucking the dicks of players here in my humble opinion. they even added on an additional 2 days to the event, instead of just 18 days worth of the event its not 20 days in total! hallelujah for that!

and then they decided to go back on the 2 additional days and essentially just make it 1 day for literally everyone on pcna. for the final day of the event, from 3 am to 7 am, pcna would be taken offline starting at 3 am when tickets are supposed to reset so that they can restore locked accounts. zos even stated that they expect the server to be offline for like 8 hours. just go fuck yourself if youre on pcna and were hoping to get the final 3 tickets and maybe some bonus rewards, those 2 extra days zos promised is effectively just 1 day and a broken promise

my gripe with the server being taken down is that it was scheduled for 3 am. thats when daily quests and tickets reset. if you werent already on and ready to get your tickets youre just fucked with no hope of getting your tickets, spending them, or earning any other rewards for the extra day zos promised you. they S E R I O U S L Y couldnt wait maybe another 10 mins so those dedicated to the event and to earning tickets could maybe actually have just a little bit more time to actually earn the final tickets and the last of the event rewards as well as buy event goodies from the impressario and indrik vendor merchants who are only around during events and tend to have items associated with specific events and seasons? they seriously needed to take the server down for the entirety of the final day of the event? players whove been locked out seriously cant wait just 10 extra minutes?

i consider myself to have be very lucky to be nocturnal for the past while. i was able to be online before the servers went down. i prepped some daily quests to turn in for my last rewards and was ready to earn my final tickets. i got the event boxes and my tickets. not many other players are awake at 3 in the fucking morning on a weekday and had absolutely no chance to earn their final event goodies! they were also p damn fast at taking the server down too. usually it takes like 3-5 mins but ive personally seen it take as many as 8 mins for the server to go offline. my clock read 3:01 by the time the server was pulled offline. thats unusually punctual for zos in my experience over the course of 3 years of playing eso. players who were locked out wouldnt even be able to get the rewards of the last day of the event either

im just fucking pissed that they promised us 2 extra days of the event and then unexpectedly backtracked in the worst way possible by giving everyone on pcna only the slimmest of chances to get the rewards of the final day. this round of maintenance has turned the forums into more than a bit of a warzone too with players fighting each other over whos fault it is when its so very clearly the fault of zos. it feels like the whole fucking dev team is made up entirely of clowns keyboard smashing their way through some very delicate spaghetti code so its just inevitable that like 50 bajillion things break with each and every update.

i dont fucking care if youre one of the players who got locked out or if youre also mad about missing the final day of the event. i just need to fucking vent about how god awfully stupid zos is at least this one time. the only reason why i even continue playing eso is bc its the only source for tes content nowadays bc tes6 is never coming out

#this is not a post where you can share your opinions with me #im just letting off some steam

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ishouldsleepbut · 1 year ago

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@chloeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hi welcome to tumblr FINALLY!

i'm so so glad you're on here, it was kinda made for you ngl. anyway, here's the basic rundown of how it works here.

ANATOMY OF TUMBLR POSTS:

above you can see the average tumblr post. starting along the bottom are the 5 main buttons you'll see under every tumblr post. from left to right they are the notes button, the share button, the reply button, the reblog button, and the like button. the share button is rarely ever used so i'm not going to cover that.

the notes button: notes are the combined amounts of replies, reblogs, and likes a certain post has. clicking on the notes button will open the replies section and then you can switch between viewing the replies, the reblogs, and the likes. you can also view the spread of the post by clicking on the cluster of four circles. the reply button: this is speech bubble button. it'll open up to what is the comments sections of tumblr. it's like less-used version of tags (more on those later).

the reblog button: the most important button on a post hands-down. reblogging is how tumblr posts stay alive. it's how posts get circulated and it's a way to show the op that you enjoyed what they had to say. when you reblog a post, it appears on your blog when people scroll through it. most of my blog (and the majority of everyone on tumblr's blogs) are made up of reblogs. i think reblogging is neat because it shows what you're interested to anyone who finds your blog like a little bulletin board! so use reblogs whenever you find a post you like or think is cool. the like button: exactly what it sounds like. likes are less important here on tumblr (reblogs are the equivalent of likes) so you don't ever have to like posts. i do it as a reflex but whatever works for you.

another important part of a tumblr post are the tags. these are the little words under the actual post itself that start with #. tags are used to sort posts into categories like fandoms and topics that are talked about in the post. they're also used to express your own thoughts about the og post. so tags can look like this:

or this:

don't be afraid to just ramble, that's what the site's for. don't tag spam either, which is adding tags to a post that have no connection to the post itself. it's against the tos and just make everything messier. OTHER ADVICE:

block any tumblrs you don't like: nsfw tumblrs, porn bots, homophobic and transphobic blogs, and anyone you just don't like it. it's not personal and no one will take it as such. tumblr is about creating your own little space in the internet that's just for you and you can't do that without getting rid of the stuff you don't like. you can also block tags you don't want to see

make friends! reblog posts and add your own ideas in the tags or the reblogs. send asks to blogs you think are cool. yell things you like about posts in the tags. tumblr is weird because it doesn't have an algorithm and requires you to actually interact with posts and blogs to get stuff on your dash. so do it! some of the funniest, kindest people i know are my mutuals (or moots) on tumblr. the community on here is really great so take advantage of it.

search up #tumblr guide and #tumblr etiquette for more info on how to navigate this hellsite because i definitely did not cover anything.

most importantly be safe and have fun! i'm really glad you're on tumblr. hopefully, you'll soon love it like i do.

First post, kinda nerv

might as well introduce myself.

Hi, I’m Chloe, your local transfem catgirl :3

I like cats. And Blahaj’s.

My fav fandoms are gravity falls (I’m literally Pacifica), warrior cats (I’m literally cinderheart), heart stopper (I’m literally Elle), and spider verse (I’m literally Gwen)

Im probably just gonna rant about gender and dysphoria but also like metaphors and stuff

Because gender is a performance and sometimes you just don’t feel like it ❤️

But also just random silly stuff that pops into my head

Yay!

Byeeee ~

#veero rambles #moots patoots #long post #i've been working this for the better part of today #ended up being much longer than expected #oh well #irl on tumblr aaah #this is so exciting

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miyamiwu · 2 years ago

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An Honest Guide to Tumblr for Twitter Refugees (Part 1)

I know there are already tons of guides out there, but my WiFi was down the whole day and I got nothing else to do. Spent the entire morning making gifs, but still no WiFi, and I’m like, fck this let’s make a Tumblr guide.

Now, assuming you’ve already signed up and was able to snatch a fancy url*, here’s what you should do next: Log into Tumblr on desktop. You probably made your account through the app, and that’s cool and all, but for this guide, I’ll be showing some features that are currently only available on desktop Tumblr, so go ahead and get your laptop or PC out. Following this guide will also be easier on desktop.

*url = basically your username/handle on this site. We call them url’s because it what makes your domain name on your blog. More on this later.

Covered in Part 1:

Configuring your Tumblr Settings (filters, community labels, algorithms, etc.)

Customizing your Tumblr (how to avoid being mistaken as a bot**, enabling your Tumblr website, finding a Tumblr theme)

**this wasn’t included when I first made this post but decided to add it coz it’s really important.

Configuring your Tumblr Settings

Filters and Community Labels

Go to tumblr.com/settings/account. Here, you’ll find one of Tumblr’s most important features: filters and community labels. Filters are similar to Twitter’s “mute words” feature, and they come in two types: Tag and Content filters

Unlike Twitter, where tags are part of the post itself, Tumblr has a dedicated section at the bottom of the post to add tags.

Tag filters block out posts that are specifically tagged with #tag, while Content filters block posts containing a certain word within the body of the post itself. Once you have these set, you will never see such posts when using the search feature on Tumblr. It will still show up on your dashboard though, but it will look this and comes with the option to view the post for whenever you’re curious:

As for Community Labels, this should be self-explanatory. Mature content is now allowed on Tumblr, but if you don’t want to see such content, you can always opt-out.

Go wild in using these two features. Tumblr is the only major social media left that still allows you to liberally curate your feed. The peeps here on Tumblr mainly still abide by the “don’t like, don’t interact” rule from the old days. Calling out or cancelling a user for what they’re posting will get you nowhere. That’s just not how it works here. If you don’t like something, just block it.

Turning Off Algorithms

Contrary to popular narrative, Tumblr actually has algorithms. But unlike social media sites, they are contained in a tab of its own (i.e. the “For You” tab in Dashboard) and can be even turned off from showing up from within the feed you manually curated (the “Following” tab under Dashboard).

To turn off the algorithms, go to tumblr.com/settings/dashboard and scroll down to the Preferences section. And if you’re a privacy stickler like me, you can go further by going to tumblr.com/settings/privacy to turn off Improved Search.

Tumblr Labs

Tumblr Labs are experimental features. They’re not required, but if you want to make the most out of Tumblr, you might want to turn on some of them. I like to turn on the different Dashboard tabs so I can keep up with what’s going on in Tumblr.

Customizing your Tumblr

Now here comes the fun stuff and what really sets Tumblr apart from all other major social media sites: Personalization. In Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc, all user pages look the same. But in Tumblr, you can customize it as much as you want.

Before I start though, I’d like to throw in some stuff that you have to understand first:

Tumblr’s Two “Profile Pages”

Each Tumblr user technically has two “profile pages.” The first one is found at tumblr.com/username, and is basically not that much different from the profile pages of Twitter/Instagram/Facebook. You can customize its colors, icon, and header, but that’s pretty much it.

Edit: I forgot to include this very important bit when I first posted— How to avoid being mistaken as a bot Do not settle for Tumblr’s default icon and header. Tumblr has a long-standing bot problem. An uncustomized profile will make people think you’re a bot and will block you immediately. And when choosing an icon, you might have to think twice when using a selfie that does not include your face (i.e. an upper body picture starting from the neck/chest). Porn bots often use such pictures to make people think they’re real users. Numbers at the end of a url (like username123) are often indications of a bot account, so you might want to avoid that too.

Moving on… The second profile page is where the magic happens, and its found at username.tumblr.com. However, it’s not turned on by default.

Remember what I said earlier about Tumblr usernames being generally called as url’s? That’s because of our “second profile page” here (I hate calling it second though because it’s what came first, but since it’s not a default option now, “second” it is). Tumblr is a blogging platform. Like WordPress and Blogger, but a fun version of it. Your username.tumblr.com page is basically your own custom website.

Enabling your Tumblr Website

From hereon, I’m gonna refer to the “second profile page” as just site because, well, that’s what it really is.

To enable your custom site, go to tumblr.com/settings/blog/username. Toggle on the custom theme option. [If you’re a professional, you can even use a custom domain if you want your site url to look like your-site.com instead of your-site.tumblr.com.]

In the past, the step above would’ve been enough to enable your site, but since Tumblr started implementing changes that sites using the default theme would just redirect to the first profile page (tumblr.com/username), we now have to do some extra steps to make sure that folks visiting at your-site.tumblr.com will really see your website instead of Tumblr’s default profile.

For that, we need to edit our site’s theme.

What are Tumblr themes?

It's basically the design and layout of your site. It can be as crazy or as professional as you want. Here's Taylor Swift's Midnights theme, for example.

Where to Find a Tumblr Theme

Tumblr’s Official Theme Garden (free and paid)

Tumblr’s Official Theme Garden, but filtered to show only the free themes

@theme-hunter

@codingcabin

It’s so hard to filter for the right theme in the Theme Garden though, so I suggest looking for themes in theme-hunter instead.

Tip in Choosing a Theme: Find one that supports NPF (Neue Post Format). Although Tumblr is still advocating its different posts types (text, image, audio, video, etc.), they’ve actually been rolling out changes to their editor where only a single post type is used (text) and you just add media to it. This is what NPF is about. On desktop, you can turn off the beta editor and thereby turn off NPF. However, on mobile web and on the app, posts can only be made in NPF. So if you intend to post on mobile, you have to find a theme that supports it. Otherwise, your content may look weird on your site.

I absolutely recommend themes by @seyche and @fukuo. The one I’m currently using on my site is the Lilac theme by Seyche.

For a more comprehensive guide on customizing your Tumblr, check out Tumblr’s official guide for it.

And that ends part 1 of this Tumblr guide… Though I called this part 1, I actually don’t know if there’ll be a part 2 lol. I’m lazy, and writing this took some time. If my wifi continues to be down though and I still have some data left, I might just write a part 2, covering posting and tumblr culture.

Okay, I'm working on Part 2 now, and will soon edit this post to link to it. But for now, you might want to check out Part 0: What the heck is Tumblr and is it right for me?

Edit: Part 2 is done, and it covers stuff you need to know about posting! You can read it here.

Update: Part 3 (sort of) is up:

A Guide to Tagging on Tumblr: Types of Tags

#miyamiwu.src #miyamiwu.article

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writingsforwinter · 2 years ago

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Writing advice to a young poet? What's your process like?

I always love messages like this because I started writing when I was 17 and in high school! :)

This is basically what my process usually looks like. Obviously this is just my personal process and all/some of it may not work for everyone! It's not "the right way" to write, just my way. In my opinion, whatever way you write is "right." Tripped myself up writing that!

Open up a link to one of my favorite literary journals or favorite poets and skim through some of the pieces to "warm up" and get my ideas flowing. Some of my favorite journals and sites to skim are Muzzle Magazine and the Academy of American Poets. Some of my favorite authors whose works I read to "warm up" are Brynn Saito, Alex Dimitrov, Robert Wood Lynn, and Marie Howe.

Think of a specific subject I want to write about, usually sparked by a specific interesting fact, historical or current event, figure from mythology, or, because I like writing about dark things, trauma.

Write the title. I hardly ever name my poems after writing them; I almost always title them first.

Begin crafting the poem.

As I write the lines of the poem, other fragments of lines, or simply single words or objects, will pop into my head simultaneously. For example, I might be in the middle of writing a poem, and the objects "pear," "moon," "vase," and "amulet" will pop into my head, as well as partial phrases. I immediately write/type these out at the bottom of the partially-finished poem and continue writing, gradually incorporating all or almost all of the half-finished lines and words. I do this because I always know there's a reason why those lines or words came into my head - I know they must hold special significance to me somehow, and I want to include them and jot them down before I forget them.

When I complete the poem, I reread and edit as needed, though I don't like editing so I usually just stick to fixing any typos.

As far as general writing advice, I think it's really important to remember that the number of social media followers/readers you might have does not speak to your value as a poet. You are a poet if you say you are. You don't have to have thousands of followers or be retweeted/screenshotted/shared by famous authors or celebrities to be a poet. You already are one.

Also, I submit to literary journals regularly. If I have a batch of 3-5 poems, I'll submit them to a journal. I also occasionally submit to contests. NewPages is a fantastic website with continually-updated calls for submissions and contests. Also, NewPages has a guide to publications for young writers! I've used NewPages as a resource so many times I've lost count.

You might also seek out local or online writing workshops too. I don't participate in too many of those, but I have participated in writing workshops for survivors of violence, which I've enjoyed. I also go to local poetry/author readings at bookstores and coffee shops every once in awhile - would recommend that too for inspiration! And if in-person events aren't accessible to you, I'm sure you can find some online.

If there's a literary journal at your school, if you attend school, you might check it out. Sometimes you can join the staff of these journals as an editor or at least submit your work there. I think it's a great opportunity. I was a staff member on my high school's literary journal and most recently in the last year on my graduate school's mental health literary journal.

Finally....read poetry! Reading others' work is one of my best mechanisms for improvement as a writer.

Over the years I've also tagged/gathered writing advice questions I've received on my blog, so if you like, you can scroll through any of my 23 pages of writing advice answers too.

I hope this helps! :) Good luck! I'm rooting for you!

#ask #writingtips

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hornet-breaker · 3 years ago

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Tubbox the Sequel

Everything’s going good so far for the bench trio, except when the landlord comes to visit…

Tw: safe soft vore, digestion mentions, some dehumanization, trauma

Tommy and Tubbo were chilling in the living room watching TV, it had been 2 weeks since Tubbo was given his new home and he was warming up to the titans very fast. Unusually fast for a human with a traumatic past around Titans. Maybe he could sense something the others couldn’t, maybe he was secretly a scavenger. Tommy didn’t care what Tubbo was really, he was still his friend. Tubbo yawned and snuggled into the Titan’s shirt, humming peacefully. Tommy enjoyed the attention Tubbo gave him when he got some, he would get annoyed when the human would choose Ranboo over him, however.

Speaking of which, Ranboo sat down next to Tommy, he looked worried as he scrolled through his phone.

“Tommy we gotta get Tubbo tagged eventually. Technically it’s illegal to have an untagged human, even though he’s not a pet.” Ranboo said.

Tubbo whined at the word “pet.” Until the “Basic Rights Act” was voted on, being registered as a Pet was the best protection a human could get. Tommy sighed and Tubbo pouted stubbornly.

“You’re right, we still have to get him tagged. Did you get the carrier yet? I don’t want him stabbing me again.” Tommy whined, instinctively looking down at the human as if he had a sword or a hunting knife pointed at the Titan’s chest.

“No, I haven’t.” Ranboo admitted. “But why can’t you just put on gardening gloves or something?” The doorbell rang and Ranboo went to go answer.

“Because I don’t want to wear gloves you prick.” Tommy grumbled.

Ranboo rolled his eyes and muttered in Ender as he opened the door. He almost shit himself seeing who it was.

“Good evening boys, I’m just here to inspect the property because there was a human sighting on this floor, may I come in?” Fuck, it was the landlord.

“Uhh, give me a second Tommy just got out of the shower.” He slammed the door in the landlord’s face and scurried back over.

“Tommy! The landlord is here!” Ranboo hissed.

“Okay, and?” Tommy asked, confused.

“He’s gonna fucking eat Tubbo if we don’t hide him!” Ranboo hissed. Suddenly Tommy and Tubbo realized why this was bad.

“What do I do?!” Tommy asked frantically.

“I don’t know hide him somewhere?! A sock, a jar, hell even in the hamper, he can’t be detected by him!” Ranboo hissed back.

“C-can’t I just-“

The door was unlocking and in a moment of panic, Tommy quickly and gently crammed the human into his mouth. Tubbo yelped as he was suddenly plunged into the dark and damp cavern that was Tommy’s mouth. He would admit it was kinda pretty with electricity pulsing through occasionally, but he was starting to get flashbacks, causing him to panic.

“T-Tommy?” Tubbo asked. The tongue he was laying awkwardly on shifted as his leg was slurped into the mouth, sloshing him around and soaking him. “Tommy?!” Tubbo asked louder.

Suddenly gravity shifted on him and he panicked.

“No! Wait! Please don’t-“

Glurk!

Tubbo was crammed into the fleshy tube and slid down past Tommy’s collarbone, his heartbeat was loud and rapid and his lungs were taking shaky breaths. Tubbo was deposited into a slightly cramped space, and immediately started panicking even worse. He could have swore the liquid that was sitting at the bottom was stinging at him, hissing him mockingly. Tubbo was hyperventilating, trying to stay as close to the way he came in as possible. He yelped with terror as he heard the gurgling of the Titan’s stomach, and screamed as he felt something press against the organ, Tommy’s hand more than likely. He gave up and sat down, sobbing with fear as he fell into a horrible panic attack. Not again, he can’t go through this again.

Outside, Tommy and Ranboo couldn’t believe he did that. He could smell Tubbo’s overwhelming scent of fear, and so could Ranboo as the landlord searched their apartment for signs of an invasion. Tommy was trying to keep Tubbo still and calm but it wasn’t really working. He stifled a burp and kept his hand over his crop.

Please calm down I’ll let you out after he’s gone so please stop you’re gonna get us both in trouble and then you will actually die because that landlord is a fucking-

“Tommy!?”

Tommy jumped with a startled gasp.

“Y-yeah bitch?” He tried to play off his stress. The landlord gave him an odd look,

“Like I was saying to your more attentive roommate, if you find any humans call me immediately. They are nothing but pests.” The landlord growled. He was so shitty Tommy never bothered to remember his name.

“Mhm, yeah cool, anyways, I gotta go, Uhh, take a piss, yeah! Uhh, too much water you know?” Tommy said shyly, inching his way to the bathroom before darting in and slamming the door. He poked his head back out “good talk see you next month!” He slammed the door again.

Ranboo face palmed and the landlord looked at him in confusion.

“What the hell is wrong with him?” He asked. Ranboo shrugged trying to hide his panic.

“Probably all that soda he drinks.”

Tommy took a deep breath, rinsing his face with cold water. Tubbo was finally still but definitely wasn’t calm. Tommy whimpered and decided to let him out. So what if the Landlord would smell him? He was a minor, him and Ranboo could sue the guy for invading a minor’s privacy. The bathroom was the safest option right now.

Tubbo slid out of Tommy’s mouth and into his hands, immediately the little man hugged his fingers.

“Tubbo, Tubbo im sorry, I panicked man.” Tommy apologized.

“It’s okay Boss Man, I kinda realized that after I heard you talking.” Tubbo mumbled, barely loud enough for Tommy to hear. He sighed with relief. “Please don’t do that again though, or at least give me a heads up I thought I was gonna die,”

Tommy nodded firmly, “of course Big Man,” Tommy said gently. “But, we’re kinda stuck here until the Landlord leaves…”

“Do you mind if I wash this spit off me?” Tubbo asked, grimacing as he shook off his hand. Tommy looked down with embarrassment.

“Yeah, you can get in and out of the sink on your own right?” He asked, running the tap and plugging the sink.

“Yeah, don’t worry Boss Man.” Tubbo reassured. Tommy set Tubbo down then turned the tap off and went to stand in a corner while Tubbo rinsed himself off. After his little bath and him dressing himself he sat down on the towel. His clothes were still soaked and neither Titan had a hair dryer so he would just have to wrap himself in the towel to avoid getting sick.

“What’s the deal with the landlord anyways?” Tubbo asked.

“He’s a fucking maneater. Any human we find he somehow immediately knows and he finds them and eats them right in front of us. Fucking bastard.” Tommy spat bitterly, turning around to begin pacing. Tubbo watched, seeing the tiny sparks of anger dancing in his feathers.

“I hate that fucker so much, if I could ever just get my claws on him I’d-“ a knock made Tommy Yelp in fear, his feathers puffing up instinctively.

“Tommy you can unlock the door now, the landlord’s gone.” Ranboo called from the other side. A breath of relief left the young Titan.

“Yeah we’ll be out!” Tommy called, calming down and lowering his hand for Tubbo to climb on. The little human did so and the two left the bathroom. Tommy dropped Tubbo off at his little box assuming the human would want a change of clothes, and he was right to assume so as Tubbo went back into the box.

“So, how’s he doing?” Ranboo asked.

“He’s fine he just doesn’t want us to do that to him ever again.” Tommy sighed. “I fucked up man,” Ranboo pat his shoulders.

“Don’t worry you’re fine, it was an accident, you did apologize right?” Tommy nodded.

Tubbo came back out of the box and looked annoyed.

“Well my favorite shirt now smells like Tommy’s morning breath, so thanks for that.” Ranboo burst out laughing at the comment and Tommy elbowed him hard in the stomach. At least Tubbo was only mad about the shirt.

#mcyt g/t #g/t writing #tiny!tubbo #giant!ranboo #giant!tommy #tubbox gtau

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duuhrayliegh · 4 years ago

Text

dm slide

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol consumption, language, nothing else really, it’s just really fluffy i think

word count: 1905

a/n: okay so my other stuff is coming, i stg, i’m just in the middle of finals and moving out of my dorm, and starting a new job, so i’m a bit stressy right now, but i’m getting there loves.

so if this one isn’t as good as it could be that’s why, but i’m hoping to add on to it later

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open!!

xoxo ray

ray’s m.list

You were currently at your best friend’s birthday party, polishing off your third overfull glass of wine. Your best friend threw her hands above her head, shouting out “Shots on me!” She thrusted a shot glass in your hand, encouraging you to toss back the liquid. You set down your wine glass, picking up the smaller cup, not caring about the flashing cameras around you.

“I’m so glad you were able to get free from your oh so lavish lifestyle as a celebrity to come hang out with little ‘ol me!” She had to continue to shout for you to hear her over the loud music blasting through the club speakers. She grabbed your arm, pulling you towards the bathrooms. “Are you getting ready to go? The sound system is giving me a headache.” You smiled at her, grabbing your phone from your clutch.

“Absolutely, babes. Let me order the Uber and then we can go.” You held onto your phone tighter, walking up to the bar to settle your tab. “Hey, Gabe!” Gabe, one of the bartenders, turned to you.

“Hey, Y/N!” He went to grab a bottle of your favorite wine to uncork it, but stopped when you held your hand up.

“Just settling up and heading out.” You passed your black AmEx card over the counter to his waiting hand.

“You’re missin’ out, Y/N. The party is just getting started here.” You shook your head at the man.

“Nah, I’m celebrating my best friend’s birthday tonight, so this is her call.” He slid your card back to you, watching you push it into the slots of your clutch. “We’re getting outta here, but that doesn’t mean our party is ending.” You winked at him, meeting up with your companion. You linked arms with her, leading the way through the crowd. It was cold outside, which didn’t mean good things for you because of your almost too short dress. The Uber stopped beside the curb, rolling their window down for you to double check. You climbed in beside your friend, scooting closer to increase your warmth. The ride to your apartment wasn’t too long, thankfully because Uber’s creeped you out, no matter how safe you were.

Walking into your apartment was difficult to say the least. You both were stumbling the entire way to the elevator and then stumbling into your couch cushions. The two of you managed to make it to your bedroom, swapping out your tight garments for some more ill fitting attire. That was not before you took an absurd amount of photos together in your bathroom mirror. You sat across from each other on the black couch in your apartment, sifting through the pictures of the two of you. Your best friend was leaned over your shoulder, watching as you scrolled through.

“Oo! That one!” She pointed at the screen quickly, stopping your scrolling. It was of you holding the phone, leaning backward staring at the phone in your hand. Your best friend was facing you, her bare back displayed from the deep dip in the back of her dress. “We look so hot.” You both shared a look and then burst into a fit of laughter. You posted the picture to your Instagram, tagging your best friend in the corner, wishing her a happy birthday. She slid away from your, covering her lower half with a blanket.

“You want a water?” You asked as you rose from your spot on the couch. She smiled big at you.

“Can I convince you to mix up some margaritas?” Her bottom lip rolled inwards, waiting for your response. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head before opening your liquor cabinet. You pulled down bottles of triple sec and tequila, reaching into your freezer for the bag of strawberries and limeade. You brought your Ninja Bullet out to make individual margaritas for both you and your drunk friend. Walking back over to her with containers in hand, you plopped opposite her on the couch.

“You’re literally the bestest ever.” She slurped on the drink through her swirly straw. The conversation faded between the two of you, allowing the both of you to go through your socials. “Did you see that Lizzo got a message back from Chris Evans the other day?” You laughed at her question, remembering your reaction to Lizzo’s TikTok.

“Mhm. Can you imagine getting a reply back from one of those hunks of men?” She shook her head while guzzling her margarita.

“I can’t, but I bet you can.” You scrunch your brows at her and she groaned. “You’re a celebrity too, dumbass. Girl, the amount of times that I’ve gotta remind you of that is insane.” You laughed at her, rolling your eyes.

“Babes, just because I’m quote, unquote famous, doesn’t mean that I’m on their level.” She pointed a finger at you.

“Hey, just shoot your shot, Y/N.”

“I literally don’t even know which one I would DM.” Your best friend scoffed loudly.

“Bullshit!” You choked at how loud she yelled. “You don’t know who you would DM? I know who you would DM in a fucking heartbeat.” You looked over at her with raised brows and in unison you said. “Sebastian Stan.” “Sebastian Stan.”

“Mm, he is a six foot tall Romanian God.” You shook your head while fake moaning, your friend laughing in the background. She reached for your phone before you could protest, typing away on your keyboard, smiling mischievously. She thrust the phone back into your hands, the empty DM screen of imsebastianstan on Instagram staring back at you.

“All you gotta do is send something.” She smiled at you while you glanced down at your phone screen nervously. You began typing something quickly then locked the screen, placing it facing downward on your lap, a giggly smile resting on your face. She scooted closer to you, folding her legs up to her chin. “Wait! What did you say?” You unlocked your phone, showing her the screen. She laughed at your message, drinking the rest of her margarita.

y/n.y/l/n: hi, i’m y/n and you’re the love of my life ;) <3

“That’s so fucking good, oh my God.” She glanced at the clock on your phone. “Oh girl, we’ve gotta go to sleep.” You checked it as well, dropping your head into your hands.

“Mhm, you’re right.” You stood from your spot, holding your hand out to your friend to help her up. “Let’s go to sleep.” You both crashed on your king sized mattress underneath your white fluffy duvet. You were about to drift off to sleep, when your best friend’s voice floated into your ears.

“Do you think he’s gonna reply to you?” Her voice was slurring more and more from the amount she drank and the sleep weighing on her mind. You smiled at her, it was a long shot that he would even see it, much less reply.

“We’ll have to see, babes.” She didn’t reply to you as you both fell off into a dreamless abyss.

********************

The sun streaming into your room woke you up in the morning, light hitting your eyelid just right. You blinked harshly, bringing your hand up to block the glare. A groan escaped your lips, stretching out from your best friends grip. “Fuck me.” You held your head in your hand, groaning about the headache blossoming at the nape of your neck. You left the bed, pulling a sweater over your tank top to catch some warmth. You tucked your phone into the waistband of your shorts. You padded into the kitchen, grabbing your Advil bottle, dumping two pills into your hand. You got a glass of water, settling down on the couch after gulping down the headache medicine.

You opened your phone while basically inhaling your water. Your memories of last night were fuzzy, you drank quite a bit. Did you drink too much? Maybe… but did you regret it at all? Not a second of it. You had the best time hanging out with your best friend. You check your Instagram post, replying to several different comments. A red bubble was pinned over your DM button in the corner. You tilted your head in curiosity, wondering who messaged you now. You swiped over, eyes widening at the new message.

imsebastianstan: Hi, Y/N. I’m Sebastian, thank you for professing your love to me.

The feeling of panic running through your veins didn’t last long, A gigantic smile spread accompanied by a giggle. What the fuck do you do now? Your fingers hesitated over the keyboard, thinking through what you want to say back.

y/n.y/l/n: hello sebastian, what do ya say we figure out if it’s a match :)

You sent the message before you could chicken out, locking the phone shortly after, shoving it in your waistband. You got up, refilling your glass of water, leaning against your granite countertop, tapping your fingers impatiently. You squealed as you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

imsebastianstan: What do you have in mind?

y/n.y/l/n: 917-555-0545 <3

Oh my god, you can’t believe you just did that. Holy shit, what are you thinking? Maybe this will all work out in your favor. You really had nothing to lose but your dignity, right? A disturbance in the peace to the right of your caught your attention.

“Why the hell are you up so early? We drank last night, that’s an excuse to sleep in, you fuck baffoon.” Her hair was tousled on top of her head, shirt hanging off one shoulder. You turned your phone around, thrusting it towards her face.

“There’s been recent developments on the Stan front.” Her brows raised, face becoming shocked.

“Oh. My. God. Are you fucking serious?” She snatched the phone away from your hand quickly to scroll through the messages. “You gave him your number?” She yelled at you as she stretched across the couch, laying her head in your lap. Your phone buzzed in her hands and her eyes widened to unbelievable proportions. “Bitch, you just got a text from an unsaved number.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You looked at the phone in her hands. “I didn’t think he was actually going to text me, I sent it as a joke! What’s it say?”

“How are we going to figure this out?” You both shared a look, shrieking enthusiastically. “Y/N! Sebastian Stan texted you!” She jumped up and down on your couch, pulling you up with her.

“What do I say back?” You held the phone against your chest, staring expectantly at your best friend. She shook her head at you.

“Nuh-uh girl. This is all you.” She held her hands up in surrender. You looked down at your keyboard, the blinking cursor waiting for instructions.

“Okay, okay, how ‘bout, ‘discuss over coffee?’” You looked at your best friend for approval, still standing on your couch. You sent the message after she nodded. A message bubble popped up, three blinking dots inside.

There’s a coffee shop on 8th street, just outside of Washington State Park.

wanna meet up around three?

I’ll be there, Y/N.

You turned to your best friend, holding the phone to your chest. “Babes.” She raised her brows, waiting. “I have a fucking date with Sebastian Stan!” You both squealed, excited for what would happen on your date.

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apocalypticgargoyle · 4 years ago

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𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌 𝟒. ♡ 𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

"Hi! I hope u have a lovely day :] I was wondering if I could request an imagine where you're online friends with Gogy and one day you send him a picture wearing his merch and he can't stop thinking about it and finally ends up telling you he has a crush on you?? Thank you in advance :] I really enjoy your writing"

pairing: georgenotfound x reader

warnings: Zoom Video Communications none :)

links: | ao3 | request | masterlist |

⋆ song recommendation: Slowly by Josh Gilligan

(streamer bf gogy brainrot brrr) hello sweet anon! thank you for much for this request :) I love love love all the geo simps and their ideas. also thank you to my dearest LB for helping me with the plot help. happy reading, everyone! ♡ ᵍᵉⁿᵉ

You tapped your fingers on your desk, nails clattering at you waiting to be let into your third Zoom meeting of the day. Usually, you got off with only one lecture, but because of upcoming exams, you were finding yourself in and out of virtual meetings and office hours. Sure, it was better than jogging from building to building, fighting the crowds, and searching for a seat in a packed lecture hall, but it was still wearing you down beyond belief.

You rested your chin in your hand as your window went from white to dark grey, the square with your name getting wedged in beside the professor. Everyone’s cameras were off, a thankful sigh leaving your lips as your head slumped down to lay against your arm, the danger of falling asleep suddenly becoming more prominent.

You jumped slightly as your professor cleared their throat, sharing their screen and beginning to ramble off facts listed on the slideshow. You played with your keyboard, focused on removing a crumb from beneath your spacebar that was almost unreachable. You usually took notes in the class, but today was just one of those days.

“... And with that in mind, I’m going to put you all into breakout rooms…” Your professor trailed off, eyebrows furrowed as they peered at their screen and clicked frantically to assign all of you to rooms. You yawned, smacking your cheeks and sitting up. You were determined not to be a shitty partner, at least. The white box popped up, inviting you to join breakout room four. That’s always lucky, you thought to yourself as you joined.

Once again, you were cursed to look at the buffering wheel of death as your internet struggled to sustain all your opened tabs. Please, just a little longer, you groaned internally, eyes dashing towards the receiver and exhaling in relief as your computer connected to the breakout room. You turned on your camera, eliciting your partner, George, to do the same.

You flashed him a smile as you struggled to open the article from the previous night. “Hi! How’s it going?” You greeted, not yet looking at him.

“I’m good, actually. How are you?” He engaged, his voice deep and tired.

You finally managed to split your screen enough so that you could see him and the article. “Yeah, I’m good too. Thanks,” you chewed the inside of your cheek, eyes skimming some of the notes you’d etched into the margins. “So, did you have any idea what,” you paused, squinting at the author’s name, “Robert A. Schneider means when he discusses how ‘men of letters’ fear the lower class more than anything?” You asked, as your eyes trailed across your screen to finally gauge his reaction, you were taken aback by his appearance.

His soft features and dark eyes made you feel safe. As he smiled softly, running his fingers into his hair, he seemed to be racking his brain for an answer. He opened his mouth to begin, detailing what you had previously thought with better articulation.

The two of you got through the basic questions the professor had scripted for the students, then finding yourself still stuck in the breakout room. On a normal day, your professor would have pulled everyone back into the call after the first few questions.

George swiveled in his chair quietly as he listened to you briefly explain your area of study. His kind smile made your heart flutter slightly. Deep down, you hoped the two of you would be stuck in the room for a while.

Soon your topics blended into what kind of movies you both watched, a debate on where you could buy the cheapest bread on campus, and what kind of party people the two of you were. After an hour, instead of worrying whether or not your professor was dead, you were swapping numbers and planning out how the two of you would turn the Florida Keys into the headquarters of your new cult where the members would all worship a separate bitchy philosopher.

You pulled one of your legs to your chest, resting your cheek against your knee as his laughing died out. “Okay, this might be a weird question, but I need to know why your webcam is so clear. Is it like an OnlyFans thing or…”

He chuckled. “Yeah it’s definitely OnlyFans,” he joked, making you laugh. “I’m actually a ᵐⁱⁿᵉᶜʳᵃᶠᵗ ˢᵗʳᵉᵃᵐᵉʳ” he mumbled.

Your eyebrows perked playfully. “You’re a what?”

He pursed his lips to fit the grin stretching across his face. “ᵃ ᵐⁱⁿᵉᶜʳᵃᶠᵗ ˢᵗʳᵉᵃᵐᵉʳ”

You snorted slightly. “Sorry darling, you’ll have to speak up. What was that?”

He wet his lips, rolling his eyes as he bashfully groaned. “I’m a Minecraft streamer.”

You giggled, him basking in your disbelief. He smiled a bit brighter as he shrugged, leaning back in his chair as you rambled off questions. “There’s no way! Nerd!” you chaffed, making him smile as if he liked it when you playfully teased him. “Are you super popular?” You asked, catching your breath.

He bit his bottom lip swaying his head slightly as if deciding not to answer. “Mmmm. Not really.”

“Well, come on, Georgios! Give me your Twitch user and I’ll be your biggest fan, I promise.” He laughed at your response, digging out his phone to send you a link.

“I’d like to see you try,” he mumbled.

After the class had finally ended, you’d learned that your professor was on the phone with their credit card company. In the following weeks, you and George were in constant contact, even becoming part of each other’s daily routines.

As you studied for finals, you’d turn on his stream, letting his voice alleviate some of the stress of your exams. He knew you were watching and would even drop hints for you in what he was saying, or he’d blatantly just ask what you were talking about in your essay for a certain class. After the stream would end, he’d call you either on Discord or the phone, just so it felt like the two of you were studying together.

Jokingly, you badgered him to send you some of his merch, threatening to buy it from a bootleg online store if he didn’t. He had only brushed it off at the time, but shortly after, you received a hoodie in the mail with his gamer tag printed across it.

It was late at night when you’d received it, the tiredness of your eyes and George’s dulcet tones lulling you towards the idea of a dead sleep. Yet, you were drawn from your pleasant relaxation with the shrilling of your doorbell. You shrugged out of your blanket cocoon, grabbing your phone and trudging down the stairs. As you tore open the bag, your phone buzzed with a text from George asking if you’d seen something that one of his chat members. You chuckled softly and dug your hand into the material, holding it out in front of you.

You snickered to yourself, running your fingers across the red patch in the center. You slipped it over your head, letting the softness of the fabric brush against your skin. You snapped a photo of yourself and stumbled back upstairs before sending it to him.

When you returned, George was focused on something he was crafting. His eyes darted down to one corner of the screen where his phone was probably sitting. His eyes flashed back up with a smug grin on his face as if he knew exactly what you were going to say. Your “Thanks sugar daddy xx,” probably didn’t help either.

“What, chat?” His voice came out slightly uneven as he bit back a smile. You skimmed what people were asking. “It’s not a nude. A friend of mine got something I sent them,” he answered nonchalantly, finishing up what he was doing. The chat began to spam quietly. “No, it’s not a maid costume. Jesus Christ.” He leaned back in his chair, grabbing his phone and opening your message.

A grin spread across his face, alongside the light dusting of rosy pigment settling in his cheeks. He chuckled to himself, quickly replying before getting back to his game. You scoffed at his response.

George (H325) Anything for my silly little baka

You curled up again, putting away your schoolwork and devoting your attention to watching his stream as you drifted off to sleep.

Once again, you found yourself at the mercy of your internet as you attempted to join the breakout room assigned to you. You almost jumped out of your chair when it finally connected and you found George waiting for you. You smiled slightly as he scrolled through his phone. “What are the chances?” You asked, pulling his eyes to you.

He grinned, clicking off whatever he was looking at. “I was just about to raid your inbox.”

You chuckled. “I almost wore your merch to class, just to out you to whoever my partner was,” you joked, making him roll his eyes.

“I’m glad it’s me then,” he responded. You began scrounging around for your article. After a beat of hesitation, George spoke up again. “Hey, I’m glad you like the sweatshirt…” You perked an eyebrow in his direction. “I actually haven’t been able to get that picture out of my head. I know it’s stupid,” he stated lightly, chuckling nervously. You could feel your heart beating in your ears. “It’s so lame, but I think I have a crush on you.”

You sat back in your chair, stunned. “I mean, the feeling’s mutual. Even if it’s lame,” you mirrored, winking at him. “I mean, maybe it’s not lame because I know I like you.”

He smiled to himself at your answer before chuckling, “Should we Zoom date or something?”

#georgenotfound headcanons #georgenotfound x y/n #georgenotfound fluff #georgenotfound x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x reader #mcyt fluff #mcyt imagine #college au #gnf x reader #gnf brainrot #gnf my beloved #gnf x y/n

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princessofprocrastination · 4 years ago

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Not The Same (GeorgeNotFound)

summary : you put out a song, but it attracted the wrong type of crowd and caused too many misunderstandings.

trigger warnings : threats (including death and doxing), panic attacks, taking of meds.

"you're THOSE type of fans, huh?" you read the comments on your newest song release.

and that was the start of your downfall.

you and your dad really enjoyed singing. at any opportunity you two got, you would be doing a duet.

whether that would be at at a close relative's wedding or your at home karaoke set up, you two knew how to entertain people.

though singing was your passion, you ended up being too busy with school and trying to graduate with a diploma to even think about singing again.

but you swore to make a career of your singing after high school. you just loved it too much.

but then, you didn't go to college for music, which pretty much shocked your parents and your friends since they knew your only passion in life was singing.

but you took a different direction. you still wanted to sing and you were trying your hardest to find a way to make that your career.

someday, anyway. but you needed to have a plan to fall back into in case anything goes wrong.

you were a realist, after all.

so off to college you went.

you spent long hours studying for tests after tests, sat through hours of lectures, did endless amounts of projects.

in the end, it was all worth the wait and fatigue. you graduated top of your class.

you went off to be an intern, clocked in more hours before you could fully go into the next phase of your life.

and after those long hours, you finally made the decision (with the support of your parents) to take a gap year.

but before anyone panics. your gap year was not all fun in games where you took to rest and lay in bed all day.

you took the gap year to see if the music industry fits you. to see if you even had the chance to succeed.

and if it did, you could finally have your dream job. but even if it didn't you were not going to be upset if you needed to fall back onto your backup plan.

in the duration of the gap year, you took voice lessons, and poetry classes for song writing.

and with whatever you have learnt, you took that into writing songs that you felt really relate to your life experiences.

so you spend at least a couple months writing multiple songs.

after almost 2 years, you finally came out with your first song. and it definitely got recognition. more than you thought you'd get, if you were being completely honest.

and that was what pushed you to sit your ass back on your desk to write more, and go into your makeshift studio and make the words into songs.

your parents were ecstatic to hear that you were finally doing the things you loved. and you knew you'd never get this far if it weren't for your family's support.

and so your music journey began.

it was going well for years. you were finally happy doing the one thing you enjoyed doing.

and you definitely think you were good at it. seeing and hearing the positive feedbacks from your family, friends and listeners.

you felt good.

but you lost that feeling when you came out with a new single, called ‘fan of you’.

you spent a while working hard on that song and you felt relieved when it was finally released. it was like a weight was lifted off your shoulders.

and you weren’t sure how one thing led to another, if you were being honest. at first, you received good feedback for your new songs. you even gained new listeners and your spotify rank rised.

but then it didn’t anymore.

your twitter flooded with mentions and your instagram full of tagged pictures and dms by accounts you’ve never heard of.

but you noticed a similarity with all of the spam. a guy name george. georgenotfound for short.

you being you, you looked into it. and that was when all of the information hit you. and all you had to look up was your name on twitter, and there it was, the longest thread of tweets you have ever seen in your life.

you took time to read it all, trying to make sure you didn’t miss anything crucial.

there must be an understanding. you didn’t know this guy name george. you’ve seen his face on pinterest once a while when you scrolled, yes. but you never looked into him.

this amazing person took their time to gather every bit of information there was about the scandal, which you were grateful for, or else you’d be scouring the internet for hours.

to summarise what you read, there was this artist by the name of tia jade who came out with a song a few months prior to yours called ‘just a fan.’

it was a good song, some say, and you could agree. it was professionally written and produced. but many fans of george found out that the song was about him.

not just about him, but about her falling in love with him, when she has never met him. and when his fans started to really listen and analyse the song, it got creepier.

basically, the song was about a fan falling in love with a celebrity/content creator and that they want to know them beyond their persona online.

but tia had apologised a little after the song came out, saying that she made that song based on a fan liking a content creator, and not about her falling for george.

but when you read enough of the issue, it definitely did seem like she was making that song to tell her story about falling for george. but she obviously needed an excuse to cover it up.

hence the apology.

and then you read about how they analysed your song, too.

they compared your song to tia’s and found it to have similar stories. stories about how a normal girl is falling in love with the man by the name of george, who had millions of followers on all social medias.

and if you admitted it to yourself, your song did seem to come out that way. especially if your mentality had been there. clearly your song could have been interpreted in many different ways.

you scrolled to the very bottom of the thread where there was a video of the man himself, george. he was addressing the issue.

“i don’t know how this happened twice. i thought once was weird enough, but.” he paused, focusing on building something on his screen.

“having heard of a song being about me again now makes my skin crawl.” he finished. it was short but enough to make his fans understand where he was coming from.

you scrolled further to see the replies of the thread. you wanted to know what were people saying about it.

and you definitely regretted your decision to do that.

threats everywhere. death threats, threats of beating you up, threats of doxing you. god the negative comments were drowned by the one’s that genuinely thought nothing wrong of your song.

you called you mom. this was the time you needed her advice. you needed to be told what to do. you didn’t want to accidentally trigger people.

you and her were on the phone for hours. she listened to you cried to her. she heard the painful sobs that came out of your mouth whenever you reminded yourself of what people were calling you on the internet.

she heard you cry silently on call when you saw your address and phone number being leaked on twitter.

but even through all of that, you joked around with your mom. “well, this was a hell of a way to be trending.”

you did what she told you to do. get a new phone number, stay in a hotel for a couple days while you try to settle the raging crowd of georgenotfound fans down.

in the span of a couple weeks, you got yourself a new number, a new house and a new car. you weren’t taking any chances.

you told no one besides your mom of the new changes, just to be safe.

and no, the threats did not cease. at all. these people did not have a life, constantly up in your dms, telling you to jump off a cliff or them hoping that a robber stabs you and leaves you dying.

you took your time trying to figure out a way to talk to george. or a way to speak out about this.

you didn’t want to write a half-assed notes app paragraph apologising when- first of all, you had nothing to apologise for and second, you had too much to say to fit it all in a notes app.

lucky for you, you didn’t need to start your own channel or make a sit down video on your own.

your recording label had brought up the idea of a documented series about you and how you became a singer about a year ago, and only started filming and posting the episodes a couple months prior on youtube.

so you took the series to your advantage. you pitched in the idea to your manager, to which she agreed to immediately, knowing that it was best you talked about it now.

this was how it played out on the perspective of viewers who watched that episode.

“bless you.” your producer says after you paused your singing in the mic as you stopped to sneeze.

you gave him a smile and a thumbs up from inside the booth.

the camera cuts to another clip.

the cameraman pans as they captured movers coming in and out of your old house, picking up your heavy furniture and boxes into large trucks to move into the new place.

it cuts again. this time it shows you scrolling on your phone with a focused face while your manager types something vigorously on her computer.

the camera tries to focus on your phone, and sees that you were on twitter, reading a lot of tweets under your name.

you exited the app and slide it away, going into youtube next, reading the comments on your song ‘fan of you’.

you scrolled far, clicking on some of the comments, trying to read the replies to certain comments you saw.

the camera cuts into a black screen. which then cuts again into a new scene, where you sat on your new kitchen counter talking to your mother, who sat on the chair in front of you.

your hair was up in a ponytail. a messy one. you were wearing sweatpants and a hoodie that seemed far too big on you, and your feet covered with fluffy socks.

you were nodding to whatever she was saying to you. it was clear your mind was elsewhere as your eyes were unfocused.

the scene cuts again.

you were seen on the couch, your legs were tucked into your arms and your head down, body shaking. it was obvious you were crying.

you were alone, your mother no where to be seen.

that was the first time the camera caught you crying.

the scene cuts as you were going to get up from the couch.

now, you were in the kitchen again, opening the refrigerator to take a water bottle, then walking to your room upstairs.

the camera follows behind you slowly into your room.

it hadn’t been the cleanest. there were a couple shirts on the floor, your bed undone, cups on your side table, your laptop open on your desk.

you were seen opening a drawer, taking out a small white bottle. you unscrewed the bottle and took out 2 pills, popping them in your mouth, drinking water straight away after that to swallow.

the scene cuts again.

this time, you were seated on the couch in the studio, the atmosphere dark and quiet.

your hair was more kept this time, being help up in a clip.

you were wearing straight jeans and a slightly oversized sweatshirt. you looked more refreshed this time. but it was obvious you hadn’t slept in a while because of your eyes.

your eyes that usually held a lot of happiness and joy turned dull.

“it’s been a while since i’ve spoken to a camera.” you offered a small smile. your song ‘just a fan’ was playing in the background of the clip.

the scene cuts again.

“when i released that song, i was genuinely proud of the work i had done.” you paused for a while. besides the song playing in the background, it was silent.

“but i guess the joy didn’t last very long.” the scene cuts there.

it transitioned to a collage of what people were saying about you. it showed clips of people talking about it on youtube. they even showed george talking about it.

and it cuts again.

it showed a different clip this time. a clip of your ex boyfriend and you at the beach on a picnic, that was taken by a close friend of yours.

this was when you were still in college.

it showed all the fun memories you two made while you were still together.

it showed a video of him studying in the library, flipping through his papers and scrolling through his laptop. it was clear he was hard at work, not noticing you filming him.

but then the scene cuts again. and the music turned somber.

your ex boyfriend’s grave.

it was the day you were visiting him. you sat down next to his stone, a blanket under you.

you were just staring at his stone, not moving.

and it cuts again.

“he was one of the most driven person i have ever met.” you told the camera.

“he knew when to be serious and when to have fun.” you looked down in your hands and played with your rings.

“all he ever talked about was becoming a surgeon. he worked hard in his intern years and continued being passionate through his residency.” you spoke up.

“people had only nice things to say about him. the only bad thing they would say about him is that he can be pretty uptight sometimes, especially when he was stressed about something.” you laughed a little.

“i was a huge fan of him, even when we just saw each other in the hallways. he’s just amazing. i’ve always wanted to be just like him.”

“i wanted to write a song about him but i didn’t the song to be sad.” you said.

“and that was when the song ‘fan of you’ was created.

the scene cuts there and goes into another.

you were in the recording booth again, this time, you were singing into the mic.

the camera pans to your producer and manager dancing and bobbing their heads to the beat.

the scene cuts, officially ending it with a black screen with ‘the end’ in a fancy white font.

you busied yourself with writing new songs as your name got trended again on twitter.

and george has never felt worse about himself ever in his entire life.

he watched the episode as soon as dream sent it to him.

“you’re an asshole, george.” dream sends to him, along with the link of the video on youtube.

as the video ends, he decides to read the comments, wondering what it was like down there.

it was the worse mistake he had ever made in a while.

but he knew he deserved it. he did assumed it was about him, just like the last song made with a drawing of his glasses as their cover photo on spotify.

this time, there was genuinely no reason to think that this song was about him, or anyone with a following whatsoever. he just believed what his chat told him.

sure, there were some familiarity of the character in your song and him, but the world did have 7.6 billion people living on it.

“so, here i am apologising.” george says to his camera, live. his tone was very sincere and apologetic.

“this shouldn’t have gotten this far. they shouldn’t have gotten threats at all, let alone death threats. they shouldn’t have woken up to the world knowing where they live and what their phone number is.”

“and if you’re watching. i sincerely apologise. i clearly was full of myself.” george finishes. ending the live with a small wave.

and were you watching? hell yes.

and that was the day the two of you followed each other on instagram.

he used your songs as his intros of his live, (with your permission, of course.) you showed in your documentary that you were watching whenever he was live or watching his youtube videos.

and that was the start to a beautiful relationship.

you sat on the chair, going live. you waved as people started joining. it went from hundreds, to thousands in seconds.

as you were talking and clicking on your keyboard and mouse, playing a game, you felt arms around your shoulders.

you smiled, yet continued playing.

“why are you live on my account?” he laughs.

you disconnected the headphones so that he could hear what you were hearing.

“george, you’re being replaced.” dream said on discord.

george smiles, giving you a kiss on the top of your head. “that was well deserved.”

#georgenotfound imagines #georgenotfound imagine #georgenotfound fanfic #georgenotfound x reader #georgenotfound

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thatweeboverthereisthirsty · 4 years ago

Note

OK so I got this idea. S/o (who's this time has to be female) is also an octo mermaid but still from another world. So s/o gets into one of the pools and they discover she's a blanket octopus (if you haven't seen a female blanket octopus they're one of the most beautiful octopus out there with their gradient colors) and they get popular af like everyone is like "wow she's such a beautiful meroctopus" Yada yada. And Azul it's mad. Part 1

Part 2. And both Jade and Floyd notice it and decide to tell s/o who is shocked and sad because they have a HUGE crush so they decided to give him a gift. Since they know he doesn't have a octopus pot they decide to make him one. After months they give it to him and confess and he's shocked and ask for their forgiveness as it isn't their fault. At the end he and s/o cuddle inside of the octo pot in their mer forms.

OMG THIS TOOK ME FOREVER!!!! I probably got this ask before thanksgiving so I am very sorry that it took me this long, HOWEVER, it is the longest oneshot I have ever written so that’s quite an accomplishment. There are photo references that go with this story as well so check those out before you read.

Warnings: Slight language, insecurities, fluff, very very minor angst, fem!s/o

Word count: 4,710

Azul x Reader: Cuddle Pot

The above images are references for the s/o’s octopus species and the octopus pot. I don’t know who the original artist is for the second so if you know please let me know so I can give credit where due.

“Wait seriously? You’re a mermaid!” Ace practically shrieks and you giggle. Placing a finger to your lips, you shush him as Deuce slaps the back of your over energetic friend’s head.

“Yes. I am a mermaid, but you can’t tell anyone yet.”

“Why not?” Jack questions. His tail flicks in confusion.

You sigh and think back to the last time anyone found out about your true form. Most of the people back in your world found merpeople to be odd and cursed. It was considered a disability and a disease. Human society often shunned what they didn’t understand. And that lack of understanding led to fear.

A boy in your old school had been your middle school sweetheart for approximately 7 months before you decided to tell him your secret. He had seemed so eager to finally go swimming with you that you had naively believed that it was all going to be fine. However when he stared at your flowey, shimmering form you felt yourself grow worried that he would no longer like you.

“Babe,” you started, leaning closer to try and grasp his face with your smooth, webbed fingers. “It’s alright. It’s just my merform. It’s going to-” He quickly slapped your hand away and stumbled back.

“F-freak, monster, disgusting. Stay away from me you animal! We’re over you deceiving B*tch!” He quickly ran away from the side of the lake where you had brought him. As dawns lovely lights sprayed your body with pinks, and soft oranges, tears slid down your cheeks and into the water below. He hated you. Oh what a fool you had been to think that he would be different, that he would love you anyway.

School had become increasingly difficult after that. Word spread fast and you were quickly isolated by everyone you had called a friend. Eventually you moved to a new place and decided that you would never love again.

This wasn’t the case however in Twisted Wonderland. You were so pleasantly surprised to find people like you, and they weren’t considered freaks because of it. It had been a shock and you quickly found yourself yearning to tell others about what you truly were. Fear had you back though. At least up until that point.

“I had a bad experience with someone I cared about back in my home world.” You stated softly. The boys looked at each other and smiled.

“Well this isn’t that world. You're good to go here since I can’t imagine anyone judging you for what you look like in this place.” Ace’s words reassured you.

“He’s right. At NRC it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be bullied because of something like this. But what are you anyway?” Deuce questioned.

You giggled and leaned in closer to the 4 people sitting at the lunch table, (5 if you included Grimm, but he already knew). “I’m an octopus.” You said with excitement and slight nervousness.

“Really? That sounds so cool!” Epel was quiet but excited when he spoke up for the first time since the conversation started. You smiled to yourself and mentally sighed in relief that the people you had next trusted with your secret didn’t view you any differently.

“Wait hold the phone. Octopus? Like Azul?” Ace pressed close enough that you could reach across with a napkin and wipe the side of his cheek that had been smeared with BBQ sauce when he scarfed his lunch.

“Yes and no, Azul is a Common Octopus, which means that he is the standard octopus you mostly see around the ocean or in pictures. Basically what you imagine when someone says Octopus. I’m a different type of octopus, one that is more rare.” You pulled out your phone while talking to bring up an image. You held the phone so everyone at the table could see.

“This is a female Blanket Octopus. We’re pretty rare but we are also one of the most beautiful kinds.”

Everyone went wide eyed and watched the screen as you scrolled through images of your fellow eight legged friends. Epel turned to you and grabbed your shoulder.

“You absolutely have to show us your merform.” Ace, Deuce, and Jack all nodded in agreement. You flushed and fiddled with the hem of your shirt.

“I don’t know guys. It would be a hassle to find a place where we could do it and I’m not sure I want anyone else seeing me. What if someone shows up and freaks out?” This time it was Jack’s turn to speak when he leaned back before smiling slightly.

“Not that I care but I personally would show up to support you if you needed it. Besides, the school pool is closed after dark. However I’m pretty sure Ruggie has snatched a copy of every key to every lock in the building.”

“Of course he has.” Deuce says rolling his eyes. “That hyena couldn’t keep his paws to himself even if his life depended on it.” You giggled but ignored the comment in favor of asking Jack if he could get the key. The wolf nodded and you told everyone to meet you by the pool at 9:30. Your friends nodded in agreement just as the bell rang.

----------

The air was humid and warm, it was perfect for a late night swim, although your clothes would likely stick to your body when you changed back. Still you shifted uncomfortably at the idea of getting in the water with what you are wearing. A pair of leggings was slipped on underneath a waterproof skirt. You had a jacket over your bikini top but per usual you were unable to wear bottoms unless you wanted them to tear. You would have to be very careful not to let the skirt go up before you shifted.

A sigh left your lips and Grimm, sensing your nervousness, rubbed up against your leg in silent comfort. Your friends were unlikely to freak out but it was still nerve wracking to think about exposing your true form to other non-merpeople. Hundreds of scenarios where something went wrong filtered through your head and promised that your anxiety wouldn’t leave anytime soon.

“BOO!” Half a shriek pierced the night before a hand clasped over your mouth.

“Shishishishishi.” You turned around in surprise and pulled the fingers away from your face.

“Ruggie! What are you doing here?” You whisper shouted. The hyena snickered again and held up one finger. He made a circular motion and a key ring twirled around in response.

“Jack said you needed to get in here. Thought I’d tag along.” The smirk on his face irritated you but you couldn’t be surprised. You should have known that having Jack of all people ask for keys to break into the pool after hours was going to raise some eyebrows. Honestly you should have just asked him to invite Ruggie along anyways. Key or no key the hyena was likely to want to know what was going on.

“Alright fine, but if you tell anyone what you saw here today, and I mean anyone, then I will hide your piggy bank from you.” Ruggie’s eyes went wide before they narrowed.

“You have my word.” You smiled knowing that you had convinced him to keep your secret despite the fact that if he really had told someone you wouldn’t have actually done more than try and punch him. Of all people you knew how precious money was in this world, considering the fact that you had none.

Footsteps alerted you to the approaching presence of your other friends. You turn

around and find Jack, Epel, Ace and Deuce walking over to you. They wave and Jack frowns when he spots Ruggie.

“What are you doing here? I thought you already gave me the key.” The hyena snickers and points towards the key Jack was holding.

“I gave you the one to the janitors closet, which I’m gonna need back by the way. I wanted to see what was going on for myself so I hung out here till Y/n came over, and then I figured it had to be interesting if she was involved. I didn’t know there was gonna be a crowd though.” He looked at you, “This must be one hell of a surprise if you got all the first years here.”

Deuce pointed out that Sebek was a first year as well but the hyena shrugged it off saying “he doesn’t count as a student since he’s basically just a guard.” You figured that was Leona’s opinion and Ruggie agreed.

“Guys it’s already late and I don’t wanna get caught so let's go in already.” Everyone nodded and Ruggie opened the gate.

Carefully you unzipped your jacket as you walked over to the bench. The water appeared calm and undisturbed, allowing a clear view of the illuminated bottom which was surprisingly clean considering teenage boys flung about in the water all day.

You sighed and shrugged the jacket off before stepping out of your shoes. Setting down the bag with your extra clothes you mentally prepared yourself for what was about to happen.

Ruggie leaned closer to Jack and whispered something you didn’t catch but Jack’s response of “You’ll see.” was enough to tell you what had happened. Pushing your anxiety out of the way you lowered yourself into the pool, sighing as the cool water licked your skin. Giving yourself a moment to relax you let your worries leak into the water around you. You had always felt better in the water. It’s a merfolk thing.

“Are you guys positive you won’t freak out?” You called to the edge of the pool where your friends were standing.

“Not unless you grow 10 heads.” Ace sniggered until Epel elbowed him. You rolled your eyes and looked suspiciously over to Ruggie who still had no idea what was going on.

“No promises.” You sighed, but smiled when Jack nodded at you, signaling that it would be alright. Who were you kidding Ruggie was a hyena man who grew up in the slums. What did he care? Feelings of worry taken care of, you sunk deeper into the water and closed your eyes.

The feeling that comes with shifting is always a little strange. It’s almost like your skin has been turned to putty and it is remolding itself and when it reaches the desired outcome it snaps back into place and holds like it has been that way the whole time.

Once you felt the transformation had completed you righted yourself in the water and peeked an eye open to look at your friends. Ace and Epel had their mouths wide open in a gasp. One that quickly turned into a smile. Jack looked as though he had just witnessed a miracle and Deuce was still in shock. Ruggie’s reaction was by far the most extravagant. His eyes were wide and his mouth was curved into a questioning gape. He had taken several steps back and his ears lay flat on his head. Behind him his tail bristled and stood fairly straight, pushing up the too large shirt.

You bit your lip and examined their faces trying to come up with a conclusion to what they were feeling.

“That… Is so cool!” Ace blurted out excitedly and ran over to the pool's edge to get a closer look. Deuce and Epel followed him and Jack trotted over as well, but not before snorting at Ruggie. The hyena man looked your form up and down and took in the swirling shades of color that decorated your now sea creature bottom half. He made a small noise before shaking himself and casually patting down the fur on his tail, which was still tense but not as much.

“Ok, of all the things I’ve seen. That, I was not expecting.” You giggled at Ruggie’s flustered reaction and felt yourself relax now that you knew pitchforks and torches weren’t coming out.

The hyena moved closer to the pool and joined your other friends who were staring at you in awe. You blushed uncontrollably as you felt their gazes roam your colorful body. Decorative markings that spread up to your collarbone changed to a darker shade with your blush.

“So like can I touch you?” Deuce smacks his hand against Ace’s chest and gives him this look that says “dude you can’t just say that''. You giggle and glide closer to them before lifting your arm which was for the most part pretty human, but had a lavender shade to it and a long silky strip of webbing that shimmered as it moved. The longest tentacle on your body rose out of the water as well and you shivered as the webbing stuck together in an uncomfortable manner.

Ace leaned forwards and stroked your arm and tentacle. His eyes were filled with curiosity and wonder. Deuce looked a little more unsure but Epel had no problem reaching out and gently caressing your webbing. Ruggie joined him and Deuce eventually stuck his hand out to stroke your arm, but Jack held back and decided that ultimately he only wanted to look.

“Wow! This stuff is so soft!” Epel said excitedly. He was generally pretty quiet so you were glad he was comfortable enough to speak out.

“It’s so colorful. If we had silks this pretty in the savannah then we’d have lots of money. Say, where could I find more of your kind.” Ruggie’s smirk told you that he was just joking but you glared at him anyways and flicked water his way.

The hyena flinched and shook his head before laying his ears back and moving away from the water. Jack and Ace laughed at the antics before Ruggie growled playfully and distracted them from what had happened moments before.

It was then that Ace leaned a bit too far forwards and fell straight into the pool. You jumped and swung your tentacles back, instinctively spreading them out to make yourself look bigger.

You willed your body to relax as you recovered from the little panic attack and laughed when Ace’s head bobbed to the surface. He sputtered and swam over to the edge and climbed out of the pool. He lay on the concrete and breathed heavily while the boys around him cackled. Ace glared and stood up.

“You jerks I’ll show you how you like it.” Deuce shrieked as Ace shoved him into the water. You laughed with everyone else as Deuce came up for air. Sensing a sudden threat of being pushed into the water Ruggie backed up against the gate and watched as Jack pushed Epel in before diving in himself. The five of you giggled and splashed as Ruggie snickered at your antics.

You were so glad your new friends didn’t mind your merform. Even better, they really liked it. It felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders as you dived down to swim with your friends. As the five of you splashed and played with Ruggie distracted with your antics, none of you noticed a dark form smirk in the bushes. Nor the click of the camera that he had with him.

----------

The next day was a nightmare. Apparently someone had spied on you and your friends and photographed you in your merform. People swarmed you asking you all sorts of questions. It was difficult to just get through the halls. Luckily none of the people who stopped and talked to you had anything unkind to say and the stares you received were more curious than malicious but it was still an uncomfortable situation to be in.

For the most part people who knew you were pretty considerate about your space and privacy. Cater seemed absolutely thrilled to know that you were an octopus but only asked if you were alright with everything going on, instead of bombarding you with questions.

Kalim was a little more enthusiastic about the whole situation. Jamil ended up apologizing for him and pulling him away. Vil and Rook subtly commented on your merforms beauty before moving on. Diasomnia rarely came near you but Lilia gave you a sympathetic smile. Trey offered you a few baked sweets as he sensed that you were overwhelmed and as for everyone else you had yet to see them.

The person you were most worried about seeing though was Azul. He was an octopus merman like you, yet you had never seen his merform. Unless you counted his overblot the only time you had seen him in full shift was in the picture you had borrowed from the museum.

He and the Leech twins will probably have an absolute field day over the fact that you’re also a mertype. You worried what Azul was going to think of you hiding it. Over the past few months you had developed a crush on him. You had a plan to confess and everything, but now that the secret was out you were worried that he wasn’t going to like you for keeping it from him. In truth you planned on telling him first, but figured there was no harm in letting your other friends know. Turns out there was and the whole school knew.

Trapped in your thoughts, you failed to notice the two approaching twins and bumped into them as you turned around a corner.

“Hiii~ Shrimpy-chan~!” Floyd’s ever changing mood seemed to pleasant as he greeted you with a smile and not a squeeze.

“Hello, Y/n. How are you today?” Jade's gentleman persona greeted you but failed to hide the questions and mischief in his eyes.

“Just say it already. I know you two already know.” You sighed and watched their faces light up with excitement. Floyd grabbed your arm and took off, dragging you behind him. “Wait!” Soon the three of you arrived at an empty classroom which you were promptly shoved in before the tweels followed, shutting the door behind them.

“Y/n, my apologies for Floyd’s exuberant behavior, but we have been meaning to speak with you in private since the most recent exposure of your true nature.” Jade was calm and collected as always when he spoke and gently fixed your crumpled uniform which had been shifted while running.

“Shrimpy-chan! We have something to tell you!~” Floyd sing-songed before sitting on a desk.

“What? Wait what is it? And where’s Azul? Wouldn’t he want to speak with me too? If this is about a deal the answer is no.” You folded your arms in front of you and put distance between yourself and the seemingly respectful brother. The twins looked at eachother and you caught a glimpse of something passing through their eyes before Floyd pouted.

“Aww, what’s wrong with making deals with us? We promise to be real nice this time and not leave you homeless. You could stay with us at Octavinelle!” You rolled your eyes as Floyd giggled and swung his long legs despite the fact that they could easily reach the floor from his seat.

“The truth is, Azul is jealous.”

“What!” You turned and exclaimed at Jade’s statement. The tall mage nodded and continued with a strange look on his face like he wasn’t bothered by this at all.

“You are far more beautiful than him in your merform and he is bothered by it. Everyone has always shunned him for his octopus body and now you present yourself as one and everyone goes wild with excitement over your gorgeousness. Something he believes to never have possessed.”

You were stunned. Azul was jealous of you. He was upset because you were more beautiful than him. No. You wanted him to love you, not be bothered by you. Why hadn’t you thought of Azul’s insecurities. He just wanted to be an attractive merman and here you were, the same mertype as him and you were advertising your beauty to the world where he had to hide his away due to the fact that he was insecure.

Not bothering to say a word you quickly left the room and raced down the hall. You needed to fix this as soon as possible. Otherwise Azul might not like you ever again. Two pairs of mismatched eyes watched your retreat and shone with anticipation.

“How long do you think it will take?”

“Not long Floyd. Luckily she was already prepared before we released the picture.”

----------

Azul was so over this whole thing. He had rewatched the video and looked at the pictures about 20 times. You were so gorgeous and graceful in your merform; it just made him frustrated that he couldn have been admired for his tentacles. They were simple and slimy so most people hated them yet you were swathed in colorful silks that attracted every creature in the ocean. While most would swim by him or threaten to eat him, any sea animal that came across you would be hypnotised by your beauty.

The worst thing about you being an octopus is that it gave him one more reason to tell himself that you will never love him. He was so drab and you were well amazing. Of all the creatures in the sea you had to be a blanket octopus. If you had been a simple mermaid or even better a common octopus like him then surely he would have a chance with you at least.

A sudden knock on the door startled the mage and he stood quickly to make sure he looked alright before answering the door. You stood anxiously as he opened the door and grabbed his wrist before he had the chance to shut it. Surprisingly, Azul offered no resistance as you dragged him to the entrance of the aquarium.

Octavinelle’s aquarium had two sections, one was for regular fish and the other sea creatures that were on display from the mostro lounge. The other was for the residents. Any and all merfolk could use the aquarium if they felt homesick or separated from their true forms. This was where you chose to place the gift you had made.

Coming to a stop you turned and looked at Azul. He looked confused and excited at the same time. You took this as a good sign.

“Azul. Will you swim with me?” The merman’s eyes widened and he stood there processing your request for nearly a minute before responding.

“Sure.”

Giddy with glee you quickly leapt into the water and shed your clothes before transforming. Rising to the surface you looked up at him from just underneath the surface and he peered back at you.

Strange. He thought for sure he would feel angry again when he saw you but the darling flush on your face and how you were genuinely happy to swim with him gave him another feeling all together. It bubbled inside of him and made him blush as he slowly lowered himself into the cool water beside you.

It had been a while since Azul had consciously shifted so he was a bit worried that he would do it too fast or slow and something would go wrong. Fortunately he was able to shift without incident. Once shifted he suddenly felt very self conscious. As a common octopus he was far more simple and plain compared to your swirling and colorful body.

You didn’t seem to mind however as you twirled and circled around Azul excitedly.

“Come on I have something to show you.” Azul frowned in confusion but followed you regardless. You led him to a sort of grove area that he had never seen before. It was very well hidden but gorgeous as well.

You looked back at him excitedly and pushed through the sea vines to an open area where a ray of sunlight fell across and illuminated the gift you had spent months on. Azul’s jaw dropped when he laid eyes on the octopus pot that sat in the middle of the small room.

The base was grey and made of some type of stone. Around it sat lavender pillars and corals that surrounded the base except for the entrance. The round opening was smoothed and carved in a delicate design that resembled sea coral. Behind it sat a dark velvet cloth that was tied back with a golden rope.Azul assumed that was to block the entrance or allow for privacy.

The inside was decorated with lavish pillows in all sorts of cool shades. They were illuminated by a small yet classy lamp that hung off to the side. The outside of the pot was for the most part smooth and grey with a few purple undertones, but off to one side there sat a carving that resembled the waves and water foam, on top off which held a large pearl that glinted in the sunlight. On the other side a darker grey octopus clung to the top portion of the pot and spread its tentacles out in an elegant manner. Azul took note that the few that rose off the pot appeared to be for hanging things and one looked suspiciously like it was meant to support a staff.

You floated in place for what felt like hours as you waited for Azul to react. You reminded yourself to stay patient as he might not respond to it immediately. When he finally did react he did so without words. He simply pointed to himself and raised his eyebrows. You nodded excitedly before bowing your head bashfully.

“I’m so sorry that I upset you Azul. I never meant for it to get out in the first place. I was actually planning on telling you first and then giving this octopus pot to you since I know you don’t have one. Then things got messed up and everything and I’m so sorry. I think you’re beautiful in your merform and I hope you’ll accept my apology.” Your face burned when you spoke and you swished your tentacles nervously.

“What?” You looked up when Azul spoke and saw confusion on his face. “I’m not upset at you. It’s not your fault you’re beautiful. Besides I could never be upset at you, octopus or not. I was distraught because I thought you were so amazing and I’m so plain and that there was no chance that you’d like me back.” You gasped and watched as his face slowly turned pink.

He dove into the pot and curled up, mentally berating himself for letting that slip. Shocked you glided over to the entrance of the pot and leaned your head in.

“Azul. Do you mean that? Do you really like me?” He didn’t respond, you took a deep breath and admitted your own feelings. “Well I like you so…” His head snapped up and he let his expression grow into an ecstatic smile before coughing into his fist and composing himself.

“Well in that case, do you want to come in and lay with me?” Azul ignored the fact that his face felt like it was on fire and waited as you giggled and moved in beside him.

“I’d love to. What do you think of the pot?” The merman smiled gently at you and spoke as he curled his tentacles around you and yours, him.

“It’s exquisite. I couldn’t love it more. Where did you get it?”

“I made it.” You muttered and flushed at the surprised and impressed look on his face. He shifted closer to you and gripped your hand with his.

“You did an excellent job. Thank you.” Your fingers intertwined with his and you pressed your forehead against his.

“I love you Azul.” You mumbled sleepily.

“I love you Y/n.” He spoke before shutting his eyes and enjoying the warmth that spread through the pot. You’re silky webbing fell across the two of you like a blanket and after a stressful morning Azul allowed himself to slip into a comfortable sleep.

----------

Two pairs of heterochromatic eyes watched the two octopus merpeople sleep soundly inside the pot and smirked with wicked teeth.

“How did you know she was an octopus as well?”

“Floyd, surely you must have noticed. They both smell like takoyaki.” The eels laughed and quietly zipped away, leaving the octopus pot behind.

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