#seb stan fanfic

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Angel

PAIRING | Boyfriend!Sebastian Stan x Girlfriend!Virgin!Fem!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2.3K

SUMMARY | Dating Sebastian is a dream come true, and you want to take your relationship to the next level officially. As you're on a beautiful vacation in Hawaii with your boyfriend, you decide to give yourself to him entirely, catching him by surprise. What you don't know, however, is that he has a surprise for you, too, making it officially a vacation never to forget. 

RATING | Explicit (E)

WARNINGS/TAGS | Established relationship, use of nickname (Angel), age gap

SMUT | Losing of virginity, nipple play, oral (F receiving), protected sex, aftercare

REQUEST | @sergeantbarnessdoll Boyfriend!Sebastian Stan x Girlfriend!Reader, the reader is ready to lose her virginity and Sebastian says the sweetest things to her during and after

A/N | Thank you so much for this sweet request, @sergeantbarnessdoll! This request is so sweet, and I hope I could do it justice with this idea! It really got me wanting more of this man, and I also couldn't stop drooling over the GIF, so you're all very welcome for that! This is proofread by @ccbsrmsf1, for which I'm eternally grateful 💜

EVENTS Masterlist | @fluffbruary Fluffbruary '24 | Angel Masterlist | @sebastianstanbingo | Free space Masterlist | @sweetspicybingo Sweethearts | Take my hand Masterlist | @slumberpartybingo | Would you rather... Share a bath OR a shower

Banners: Yours truly | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF: Source

Main Masterlist | Sebastian Stan Masterlist

Sebastian took you on a beautiful summer vacation to Hawaii for two weeks as a little getaway. Life has been stressful for both of you, and this is the perfect way to unwind. Now, you're walking back from dinner, your dress flowing beautifully in the wind and your hands intertwined.

The sun is starting to set, casting the island in a beautiful golden glow, and you look over at Sebastian, only to find him looking back at you with a look of pure adoration on his face. A broad smile lights up your face as you lean in for a small kiss, which he happily reciprocates.

"Thank you for everything, Seb; I couldn't have thought of a better way to spend my vacation than with you by my side," you tell him, a soft blush spreading on his beautifully tanned skin. He looks like a sunkissed god with the sun's glow, and your heart skips a beat, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy.

From the moment you first met Sebastian through a mutual friend, you two have had a fantastic connection that has grown deeper over the last few years. It was only natural for the two of you to start dating, and both of you are ready to take the next step in your relationship, though that looks quite different for you both.

"There's no need to thank me, Angel. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you, and I love you so much. I'm fortunate to call you my girlfriend," Sebastian says, his eyes flicking from your eyes to your mouth and back up before leaning in and capturing them in a gentle yet breathtaking kiss.

The rest of the stroll back to the hotel room was filled with sweet words, loving touches, admiring glances, and, above all else - over too soon for your liking. As soon as Sebastian has opened the hotel room door, you slip in, ready to open the big doors leading to the attached balcony overlooking the ocean.

"Seb?" You say as you turn around, the soft light from the moon making him look like he's glowing, and your breath hitches slightly, taking in the beauty of the man in front of you. His shirt is unbuttoned, every curve and ridge of his muscles on display.

"What's on your mind, Angel?" he asks with a quirked brow, and for a short moment, it is like your brain has shortcircuited, and you forgot what you were about to say. He chuckles as he walks over to you, grabbing your hands and rubbing the backs of them lovingly with his thumb.

"I- I want you, Sebastian, all of you," you whisper to him, your eyes squeezed shut as you're a little afraid of his reactions. You two have had long conversations about not being ready to be that intimate yet, but lately, something inside you has changed, and you can't wait to give yourself to Sebastian like that. You know he will take the best care of you, and now you don't want to be apart from him any longer.

"You already have all of me, my beautiful Angel," he answers, and it is not what you expected him to say, and you lift your head to look at him.

"That's not what I meant, Sebastian; I mean that I'm ready to have sex with you," your voice trailing off near the end. It's not so much that you're scared of his reaction, but talking about sex has never come easy to you, so you're a little embarrassed when bringing it up.

"Are you sure? I'm okay with it, but only if you're 100 percent sure about it, too," he says, his hand cupping your cheek gently as he lifts your head to look at him. As you look into his beautifully blue eyes, you're reminded of the ocean outside, and all you see is love.

"I'm sure, Sebastian, please," you say, and after a slight nod, he closes the distance between the two of you. His lips capture yours in a sweet, soft, and gentle kiss that has your head spinning a little from the anticipation. Your hands glide under his open shirt, letting it glide from his shoulders until it hits the floor.

"Let's get you out of these clothes, Angel," Sebastian whispers, taking his time to take off your dress and placing a generous amount of kisses on every exposed inch of skin he can reach. His fingers glide over your warm, sunkissed skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps until you're entirely bare in front of him.

"I still can't believe I have someone as gorgeous as you to call mine," he says with a slight smirk after he takes a step back to look at you, reaching out for your hand in the process.

"Take my hand, Angel," he tells you, and you do, allowing him to guide you to the bed. After being told to get comfortable on the bed, you find your place, your head on the pillows with your hair splayed like a halo. Your nipples are pebbled under his sight, and when he climbs over you, still dressed in his shorts and underwear, a wave of arousal flows throughout your body.

He leans down to leave a trail of kisses, starting on your lips before moving to your jaw and the column of your throat, where he sucks a few light purple bruises, which will disappear soon. All you know right now is how good you're feeling, and you couldn't care less about him giving you hickeys.

"S-Seb," you moan softly as his lips wrap around your nipple. Your back arches against him, and he groans in response, his hard cock straining against the zipper of his shorts. To give himself a little relief, he takes them off since they're the most constricting, but his lips never leave your nipple as he continues to softly nibble and suck, making you feel like you're on cloud nine.

Once his hands are free again, he glides them over your curves until they stop at your hips, squeezing gently.

"Let's see how amazing you taste, Angel; bet it'll be the sweetest thing I've ever tasted," Sebastian tells you in a deep voice laced with his arousal between the kisses trailing down your body. When he's reached your pussy your legs are carefully spread by him, and he takes his place as he looks at your glistening folds, his mouth watering at the sight.

"Such a perfect pussy," he groans before diving in, his tongue licking a broad stripe from your entrance to your clit, a deep groan leaving his chest at the taste.

"God, you taste like heaven, Angel! You have such a sweet, delicious pussy for me," he tells you, and all you can do is moan, the fact that the doors are open long forgotten. Sebastian doesn't mind. However, he wants everyone to hear your beautiful sounds since he pulls them from you.

His arms are wrapped around your thighs to keep you in place as he takes his time eating you out, making sure you're nice and ready for when he will slide in later, and you can feel your orgasm building up quickly. Your moans get louder and more broken, your eyes are shut tightly, and your body is already shaking from how intense your pleasure is.

"Cum for me, Angel, cum for me like the good girl I know you are!" Sebastian spurs you on, and as soon as his lips wrap around your clit, you cum with a scream of his name, and Sebastian couldn't be more proud. He's making you scream like that and wants the world to know.

You're panting loudly as Sebastian releases your thighs, and your entire body feels like it's made of noodles, but it's a great feeling. You've had orgasms before when you took care of yourself, but they were never this intense, making you wonder why you waited so long to be intimate with Sebastian.

"How's my girl feeling?" he asks as he plops beside you, his long fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. A big grin is tugging on your lips as you look at him, a warm feeling spreading through you as you lean in for a kiss.

"Great, actually," you tell him, and you two cuddle as you come down from your high. "But... I think now it's my turn to make you feel good," you tell him, your hand already wandering to the hem of his boxer briefs.

"Oh, my sweet Angel, we can take care of my needs another time; right now, it is all about you," he tells you, and you feel a little embarrassed about it. All you wanted to do was return the favor but to have him tell you that made you blush deeply, and you nodded before looking away.

"Hey, it's okay! There's no need to be embarrassed right now, but I don't want to overwhelm you with doing everything at once," he explains, and you nod as you look at him. When he leans in for a small kiss, you're already feeling better but also getting a little impatient as you let out a soft whine.

Before you know it, Sebastian is bare as he sits on his knees between your legs, and you're taking a good look at him. His hard cock is standing at attention against his tanned skin, pre-cum leaking from the tip and a large vein running along the bottom that you want to run your fingers and tongue over.

Before he leans forward, he rips open a condom packet that he brought with him, and he rolls it onto his cock. You two have been exclusive for quite a while, but he doesn't want to take any risks regardless, seeing how you're both not ready to have children yet.

"Ready, Angel?" Sebastian asks, and when you nod, he leans forward, grabbing hold of himself as he lines up with your entrance. He doesn't push in yet; instead, he looks at your face for discomfort, which he doesn't find.

"I'm ready, Sebastian," you tell him, your hand lying on his bicep as he slowly, gently pushes in, making you moan at the stretch of him. The feeling of his cock splitting you open has you almost going cross-eyed from the pleasure, and he carefully feeds inch after inch of him to your hungry pussy.

"That's it, Angel, you take my cock so beautifully. You look gorgeous when you're stuffed full," he groans against your lips, licking into your mouth as he bottoms out. You're both swallowing each other's sounds as you're getting used to him inside you and as Sebastian changes his position on top of you, he nudges your sweet spot inside you.

"S-Seb! Fuck!" another wave of arousal floods through you, having you moan loudly. They only intensify once he starts slowly thrusting in and out of you, and you can already feel your orgasm building quickly. With every glide in and out of your body, you clench around him, adding to his arousal, too.

"God, your pussy feels like heaven, taking me so well, too," he groans before picking up the pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. It doesn't take long for both of you to reach your highs, and you fall over the edge together, Sebastian shooting his load into the condom before taking it off and throwing it in the trash.

As he collapses onto the bed, he pulls you with him, holding you close as you're both letting yourself recover from everything that just happened. The post-sex cuddles are Sebastian's favorite kind, and now that he can have them with you, the love of his life, he feels on top of the world.

"Do you want to shower or a bath, Angel?" he asks, and you opt for a bath, which Sebastian runs for you. When you let yourself sink in the warm water, he is gone to grab one more thing, and after, he joins in to have a relaxing bath together.

"I'm so lucky to have you, Angel, so fucking lucky to have an amazing woman by my side every single day," he whispers in your ear as he massages your body, and you melt into his touches with your back against his chest.

"I'm lucky too, Seb; I never would have thought I would end up loving someone as amazing, caring, and sweet as you," you tell him, and that's when Sebastian can't hold back any longer.

"Marry me, Angel," he tells you, and you shoot forward, looking back at him with shock. It's not that you don't want to marry him, but you're caught off-guard by his question, and you chuckle at the thought. He asked you to marry him in a bathtub!

"I want you to marry me, Angel. There's no one I love more than you, and I want you to become my wife," he says, and you nod, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes as Sebastian grabs the ring box from the side of the tub, the ring quickly placed on your finger.

"I love you so much!" you tell him before capturing his lips in a deep, passionate kiss. The next day, you post a photo on Instagram of your hand with the ring and the beautiful sight out of your hotel room in the background.

My forever ❤️ @ imsebastianstan is what the caption says; everyone is going wild. Congratulations are coming throughout the day, and you can't wait to become his wife. That same day, you never leave the hotel room, as Sebastian can't stop making love to you and calling you his future wife.

"I love you so much, my Angel, more than you'll ever know," he groans before his second orgasm of the day, and there will be many more throughout the rest of your vacation. It's one you'll never forget, and to top it all off, it'll be the start of the rest of your lives together.

[duuhrayliegh]

can i request a sebby x singer!reader fluff 🥺🥺

welcomed surprise

pairing: sebastian stan x singer!reader

warnings: none, prob bad writing from writers block

a/n: i have so many WIPs it’s not even funny anymore, this was something that i worked on for THREE WEEKS and then left for another TWO and finally gave up, i wanted this to be longer but i simply can’t get over my writers block for some reason. i’m working on a pornstar!au for bucky x reader but we’ll see how that one comes along. in the meantime enjoy this drabble one-shot about Sebastian x singer!reader

no beta’d, all mistakes are my own. i do not give permission to repost or translate my work anywhere.

you can find more about sebastian x singer!reader here!!

“I’ve got to call Sebastian, he’s gonna flip!” 

Your words slur together a bit, the sheer exhaustion of touring finally catching up to you. You prop the phone against the dingy bathroom of the green room. You were still a smaller artist-- gaining traction due to the size of your online following-- so booking venues meant that you were playing smaller bars with less than fantastic amenities. You couldn’t care less though. You were doing exactly what you thought you were going to be whenever you were younger, just took you a smidge longer than you thought. 

“Hey pasărea.”

Sebastian’s usual chipper tone was dampened and his screen was dark and pixelated. 

“Oh I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

Guilt starts to weave itself into your bones. Usually Sebastian would be going to at least three or four of your shows, but his shooting schedule for his latest movie isn’t giving him any rest time. 

“No, you’re okay birdie. I was just starting to lay down.” You hear him clear his throat and shuffle to sit up, the covers ruffling as he moves. “What’s up, pasărea mea.?” 

“I was just calling to let you know that I got nominated for an award.” 

You listen as Sebastian lets out a small gasp and then a swell of congratulations and I’m so proud of you’s. 

“You deserve it pasărea mea., really everything you’ve worked for is coming together.”

“Thank you, Bastian.” 

You pick up the phone and sit on the closed toilet seat, the cold porcelain was a stark contrast to your heated skin. 

“When is your next break?” 

Sebastian’s question didn’t have a simple answer. While on tour you weren’t granted many days off. But this is the life of a performing artist, you knew what you were signing up-- at least, that was when you were single.

“I’m not sure, I can send you our tour schedule again, but I don’t think that we have any free days for a while.”

He hums in disappointment, but you know it’s not directed at you as much as the situation. Even though you wanted to stay on the phone with Sebastian forever, you knew that you needed to help pack up everything and load the tour bus.

“I love you, Bastian. That’s all that I wanted to tell you.”

“I love you too, pasărea mea.. Send me that schedule whenever you can. Get some sleep love, I can tell you’re exhausted.” 

The rest of the night was a blur after you said your goodbyes with Sebastian. Much of the same-- packing cases and gear into the van and then falling asleep in entirely too close of quarters with your bandmates.

***

About two weeks later,  you’re posting about being nominated and soon  hundreds of comments are pouring in, congratulating you on your success and promising to vote for you whenever the polls open up. 

Your next venue was yet another bar, with fans already lining up hours before the show. You sneak out after your soundcheck to have a quick chat and take a few photos with them. You made sure to have a few crew members pass out waters to them-- being one of those dedicated fans before you know exactly what it’s like to stand outside for hours on end.

“Are you ready for the show tonight?” 

You ask a group of girls as you sign their notebook and accept a drawing they made of you.

“OMG, yes! We’re so ready!”

“And I bet you’re excited for tonight too, right?” 

“I’m always excited when I get to perform for you guys!” You answer her quickly as you move back up to the bar’s entrance. “Look I’ve got to go, guys. But I’ll see you inside in just a few!”

***

The show went off without a hitch and this was quite possibly the loudest venue yet. It was so gratifying to hear the crowd yell your lyrics back to you. You’re out of breath by the last song of the night, introducing it in between pants.

“This next song is probably one of my favorites.” You walk the stage as you talk, waving at a few fans during the pauses. “It’s the one that really earned me my fame, at least some semblance of fame that is. Y’all remember Bucky Barnes?”

The band starts playing 3.10 as your stage manager counts you in for the first line. This is definitely one of your favorite songs to sing on tour. You shove the microphone into its stand as you mentally prepare yourself for the higher range you wrote just for touring. The crowd became a sea of lights as each person held up the flashlights of their phones.

The crowd cheers loudly as they point toward the left side of the stage. You remove your in-ear to hear what they’re yelling. Turning toward your right you want to burst into tears. 

There are times in life whenever the world around you stops. Noises fade, the people around you slow and even the birds stop singing and the crickets stop chirping. You thought that you’d never experience that outside of Sebastian proposing. Turns out that after four months apart from your fiance can cause some interesting reactions.

He steps forward as he shields his eyes from the bright stage lights. You cover your mouth as Sebastian wraps his arms around your torso. Your eyes begin to water as his grip around you tightens and the crowd roars. Sebastian presses a smile into your shoulder as you sob into his chest. 

The chords of the chorus to 3.10 continue on a loop as the two of you hug, but on the third go-round you back up enough from him to hold the microphone in-between you and Sebastian. His eyes never leave yours as the melodic notes drift over the crowd. 

Your in-ear bounced against your collarbone as you continued singing and you were sure that the microphone was picking up Sebastian’s small hums to the melody. His deep baritone complimented your own voice in a harmony that caused a soft hush to fall over the audience. 

The final drum beats sounded as your forehead leaned against Sebastian’s with tears streaming down your face. Your brows furrowed as you looked for anything to ground you to his being. His hands shifted to your jaw to wipe away the tear lines with his thumbs. 

“Now you know these aren’t the kind of tears I like.”

The audience roared as Sebastian’s words boomed over the speakers. Yeah, to say that show was interesting was saying the least.

[the-winter-spider]

Finally edited and rewrote all 4 chapters, chapter 5 will be soon!!

Element | B.Barnes

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader

Warnings: Mention of a possible suicide attempt, angst

A/N: Honestly not sure what this is, i just started writing what came to mind lol not proof read or edited, try to enjoy.

Revised version

Word Count: 3.7k

—

You were always the quiet and reserved one, everyone was each known for their own personality trait. Steve was brave and courageous, Bruce was smart and kind, Nat was a flirtatious, beautiful and brave, Tony was cocky genius, Wanda was strong and a fighter, Clint was mostly always right and gave the best advice, Thor was heroic and loyal, the list could go on and on for everyone. When Bucky was finally able to leave Wakanda Steve was over the moon to have his best friend back, a place you took while he was gone and you were sad to give it up but it was the right thing to do, Steve couldn’t stop talking about how he knew how well you and Bucky would get along, you were both quiet, reserved and extremely observant both have gone through torturte and human experimentation.

And he was right, when Steve wasn't there, Bucky would be with you and you with him. At first there was just silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was comfortable. That's how things stayed for a while before slowly you started to crack small jokes here and there, you were funny and you knew it but it was the type of humour that wasn't for everyone, and the first time you made a joke around Bucky you didn’t even expect for him to hear it.

You were all sat around the dinner table everyone else was chattering away and Bucky and you of course remained to yourself just observing and eating dinner, someone said something and you don’t remember who said it or what was said all you remember was whispering out “that's what she said” it was stupid so stupid, you felt your cheeks heat up when you realised you said it outloud but everyone else kept taking you thought you were in the clear that was until Bucky nearly choked on his food and laughed, not just any laugh but wholeheartedly laugh and then everyone when silent almost immediately, all eyes on you.

The silence that filled the room after him laughing was tense and awkward. You could practically feel everyone's eyes on you, watching the two of you closely.

Bucky didn't seem to care about the attention, or he ignored it, his face breaking into a rare grin as he continued to gently chuckle to himself.

Steve's eyes were wide, a small smirk on his face. He looked between you and Bucky, like he was silently cheering you both on.

You could see the shock on their faces, that was the first time anyone heard Bucky laugh besides Steve, you looked up to Steve with the biggest grin on his face, Tony looked between the two of you raising his eyebrows “So she has jokes? Please do take the honours of filling us in on what was so funny you made a guy” he gestured towards Bucky with his hands before continuing “with the permanent frown, turn it upside down?”

Bucky rolled his eyes at Tony's comment, a small smirk on his face. He took a sip of his drink, his eyes darting towards you, seeing your wide grin.

"She made a dirty joke." He said simply, shrugging his shoulders as if it was nothing.

Sam smirked at that, his eyes switching between the two of you. "You like your jokes dirty Buck?” he said, his tone slightly suggestive.

Before you knew it Bucky was groaning, you could hear his fork clattering against the plate, you could still feel everyone staring at you, you still did not respond to Tony, someone else said something but you couldn’t hear it because it started raining hard, your heart rate was picking up.

Steve looked out the window knowing why it suddenly started to rain and decided to take the attention off of you to “Alright guys, how about we leave them alone and finishing eating so we can watch that movie Bruce wants us to watch” Steve reached over giving your arm a slight squeeze, you felt your breathing become normal and heart rate slowing down, and suddenly it stopped raining.

Everyone began to finish up their food, still sneaking glances at you and Bucky every few minutes. Bucky, ever observant, noticed them sneak glances, but ignored it. His focus was on you.

Steve, always the perceptive one, noticed the way you and Bucky were, sitting so close and laughing together. He had a subtle smirk on his face, silently rooting for the two of you.

—

That was only the first time you made Bucky laugh, there was countless times after that, where you two would be sitting so close to each other on the couch whispering back and forth only loud enough for you two to hear and you would giggle and his laugh would boom off the walls, but as soon as someone walked in you two would stop almost instantly, but when they left it would start again.

Slowly Bucky became more comfortable around others, not just you. It started when he was training in the gym and he and Nat started to spar with one another, that made Steve happy, Nat was one of his other close friends he wanted Bucky to get along with like you.

You didn’t go to the gym ever and that was an understatement, you didn’t need to train that wasn't your area of expertise, you controlled the elements, including anything to do with nature. When you were feeling too overwhelmed your emotions could show outside, when you were with Bucky it was always sunny out, when you got worried when Steve was on a mission it would be a gloomy day.

You sometimes didn’t even realise you were doing it and as soon as you did you would turn it off, it was one of the reasons you were so reserved because you felt vulnerable that people would just know how you were feeling sometimes. That wasn’t all you could do, when you found out Bucky loved plums you grew him his own plum tree outside in seconds he was in awe of you. You felt butterflies in your stomach that day and that day there also just so happened to but a swarm of butterflies hanging around the tree, you were thankful Bucky didn’t catch on that day.

Bucky loved your ability to control the elements. He thought your powers were beautiful and graceful and couldn't help but feel amazed every time he watched you use them.

He was completely mesmerised by you and your skills. He would often find himself just sitting back and quietly watching you in awe. Whether it was creating a small flower garden in the middle.of the common room or summoning a swarm of butterflies, Bucky was captivated.

And, of course, Bucky already loved plums, especially the ones you grew.

—

When Bucky and you went on missions together after they were complete he couldn’t stop telling you how amazing you were, and you couldn’t help yourself from falling in love with him each time that he did.

On your days off you would hang out in his room or yours, and would just lay in bed with one another talking about everything, he became your person and you hoped you were his.

Your favourite memory was this one time you were sitting directly beside his body while he was lying down, you were holding his metal hand with both of your hands, you started to run your hand over it making small flowers grow on it.

You felt Bucky's eyes on you “You make everything beautiful don't you doll?” he sat up, using his free arm he plucked a flower from his metal arm twirling it in between his fingers “Who woulda thought?” he laughed, reaching over, placing it behind your ear.

That was one of Bucky's favourite memories too, the way you gently traced your fingers over his metal hand, the feeling of your warm skin against his cool metal, the little smile you had on your face as you grew flowers on his hand.

He would never forget the feeling of your soft touch and the way the flowers' petals gently brushed against his skin.Bucky couldn't help but stare at you, admiring your beauty.

That was the first of many moments you two had like that, and you were in heaven, you smiled more, you were in love. You always wondered if Bucky felt the same, he experienced the same moments you had together because he helped create them but that didn’t mean he felt the same way.

You were eating cereal at the table when Steve came over. “Hey y/n, first time I've seen you alone in'' Steve pretended to count his fingers, “In forever!”

You looked up at him “ha ha, very funny”

Steve sat down across from you, pouring himself some cereal “Where is Bucky anyway? Thought you guys were inseparable?” He smirked. “He’s training with Nat” Steve gave you a knowing look, he knew you never set foot in the gym and Bucky wasn’t going to change that a small silence fell over you, all you could hear was the crunching of cereal till Steve swallowed “He likes you, yknow”

“Well i'd hope so we are friends”

“That's not what I meant”

Before you could finish your conversation you could hear his laugh, followed by someone elses laugh, it made your ears perk up, you dont think you've ever heard him laugh with anyone but you or Steve, you felt a pain in your heart followed by a turning in the pit of your stomach, jealousy? You thought, couldn't be you were just friends and that's all you would ever be, you should be happy for him he was happy.

You put your bowl in the sink turning around to see Bucky entering the kitchen with Nat trailing behind him, she gave his shoulder a shove, and the smile on his face was your favourite smile.

“Ain't that just the best sound!” You heard Sam shout from behind, Bucky and Nat stopped in there tracks to turn around to see where the voice was coming from, Sam took the opportunity to through each arm over their shoulder “Laughter is the best sound”

Bucky scoffed, shoving Sam's arm off of him, Sam laughed “And just like that he's back to normal” Steve laughed with him. Bucky made his way to you “Hey doll” you gave him a smile “Train well?”

He opened the fridge grabbing a bottle of water chugging it “With Nat? Always” You gave him a smile before he walked away to sit with everyone else, you don't know why but the way he said it made your stomach uneasy, you could feel self doubt swirling in your mind, before you let it get the best of you and let it affect the weather giving away how you felt, you left the kitchen in a hurry and for the first time in forever no one was trailing behind you.

—

Slowly Bucky was with you less, he still would make an effort, he considered you his best friend he told you once and he knew you prefered to be alone, so he didn’t push you as much as you wish he did to come hang out with everyone when they would go out for drinks, or to eat.

You would just sit at the compound in your room by yourself, letting your mind race with thoughts you didn’t dare talk about. The thing is you were always like this, from what you could remember at least you were? But you knew Bucky wasn't, so when he started to get more comfortable taking a step ahead of you mentally.

As days passed, you found yourself slowly isolating yourself more and more. You weren't even sure when it started anymore, but you knew you were slowly spiralling.

Bucky was getting more outgoing, socialising, and opening up to everyone around him, but it was like you were stuck in the same spot, unable to move forward. He was moving ahead, leaving you in the dust, and as much as you told yourself you were happy for him, it was getting harder to convince yourself.

—

The first time Bucky, Sam, Steve and Nat were going out and he didn’t stop by to invite you like he always did, when Steve asked if he was going to as they were passing your door, you stood there and heard Bucky pause before saying “No point” you could feel him shrug his shoulders before Nat and Sam laughed, then there footsteps retreated.

Your heart broke, that was when you knew he was giving up on you. You tried to convince yourself it was okay, you were okay, you were better off alone anyway it didn't matter, you didn't matter.

Bucky felt a pang of guilt as he said those words, knowing how much it would hurt you if you heard, it hurt him to say it.

He knew he had been distancing himself from you, but he thought it was for the best. He couldn't handle the intensity of his own feelings for you, and he thought it would be better for both of you if he kept his distance, he didn’t want to overwhelm you, he could see you retreating from him. He thought maybe he was pushing you too much, that he was too much.

But as he watched the door to your room stay closed, and saw the lights stay off under the door,, he couldn't help but feel a pang of regret.

Maybe he had made a mistake. Maybe he should have just knocked, maybe things would have been different if he did.

—

It was subtle at first—so subtle that you tried to convince yourself it wasn’t happening. Bucky’s distance was just a phase, a side effect of the nightmares, or maybe the pressure of another mission. But as the days turned into weeks, the truth became impossible to ignore. The man who once sought your company, who found solace in your quiet presence, was slowly fading away.

You used to be his sanctuary, the one he turned to when the weight of the world became too much. But now, when Bucky entered a room, the warmth in his gaze was gone. He would nod in your direction, a small, polite acknowledgment, but it wasn’t the same. The easy smiles, the quiet moments shared in silence—they were all slipping through your fingers like sand.

He stopped calling you doll, the name that once made you feel special, like you were more than just another member of the team. In place he started to use your first name instead, it felt like a knife to the heart. It was cold, distant, as if he was drawing a line between you, a line that hadn’t been there before.

The first time he said your name instead of “doll,” it caught you so off guard that you didn’t even realise he was talking to you. You stood there, frozen, as Bucky waved his metal hand in front of your face, a hint of impatience in his eyes. The sound of everyone laughing at your expense burned in your ears, and you mumbled an apology, thrusting the mission report into his hands before fleeing the room.

It wasn't his fault, you didn’t blame him for retreating away from you, it wasn't his fault he wasn't the same damaged soldier he was and you were never going to change, everyone tried to get you out of your shell at some point but they just slowly gave up, you didn't mind, you weren't worth all the effort and you knew that, you don’t know why you ever thought otherwise.

—

The more Bucky pulled away, the more you withdrew into yourself. It wasn’t his fault—how could you blame him for trying to move on, for trying to heal? He was finally finding his place in the world, and you were happy for him. Truly. But with every step he took away from you, the emptiness inside you grew, a yawning chasm that you couldn’t fill.

You were still there, still the quiet one, the one who faded into the background as the others laughed and joked around you. They had all tried, at some point, to bring you out of your shell. Steve with his kind words, Wanda with her gentle encouragement, even Tony with his sarcastic quips. But eventually, they all gave up, realising that some walls were too high to climb.

You spent most of the time from there on out in your room, you didn't want to bother anyone, you started to feel like Hydra was right you didn't belong anywhere and locked up in the glass box back at their old facility was probably the best place, did the avengers really and i mean really need you?

They were more than capable before you, so they would be after too. You let your thoughts ponder while you laid in the bath, you let your head become fully submerged, you could still breathe underwater, this was one of your favourite things to do, it was so peaceful under there, no one could get to you.

You wondered if you held your breath under the water would it be like above where you couldn’t breath like a normal person? Before you knew it you weren’t sure how much time had passed you started to see little black dots and for some reason you still hadn't let the breath go.

—

Everyone was in the kitchen having dinner, Tony spoke up “When was the last time y/n ate with us?” He questioned out loud.

Everyone looked up before Bruce responded “When was the last time she even left her room?”

This had everyone's attention especially Bucky and Steves. Bucky couldn’t remember the last time you spoke to him or when you two last hung out, he tried his best to get you out of your bubble like you did for him, he wanted to take you out and show you off to the world but he knew how it felt to be forced into that before being ready, he just hoped it would have been sooner rather than later, he missed you but he got the message after so many “No Bucky, its okay im fine here, you go ahead” it broke his heart not to see you but he stopped when he went to your door one day and before he could even knock FRIDAY was informing him y/n didn’t want to see anyone that day.

He thought he wasn't just anyone to you, he thought he was someone to you, he thought you two were falling in love with one another, or at least he was with you. So he pushed back his feelings, burying them deep down like he was use to and let you go, hoping that the saying Steve told him when he was comforting him that you would come back to him and it was meant to be because he didn't know what to do if it wasn't but that was weeks ago and he was losing hope.

Bucky was broken out of his thoughts when it started storming outside, everyone’s attention snapped to the window “There's no chance Thor is supposed to stop by is there?” Steve asked “No” everyone murmured, it wasn't unusual for the weather to drastically change at the compound, everyone got used to it when you started learning how to control your powers but it only stormed when you were experiencing emotions too deeply, this worried everyone.

Tony stood up “I'm gonna go check on the kid” as he made his way to the kitchen door and as he pushed it open water was making its way down the hallway, trickling like it would on a window his pace picking up “Please tell me someone left the front door open”

Everyone's eyes turned to the hallway, Steve and Bucky stood up at the same time “Y/n!” they shouted before they pushed past everyone running to your room.

Tony was standing behind alerting the A.I to get medical on standby. When they got to your door it was locked, not just via the A.I system but manually too.

The door was no match for Bucky’s strength, and it crashed to the ground, splintering into pieces. What met their eyes was a scene straight out of a nightmare. Your room, once a sanctuary filled with life and light, had become a reflection of the turmoil inside you. Water pooled on the floor, seeping into the cracks, and the air was thick with moisture, heavy and suffocating. The once vibrant plants that lined your windowsills were wilted, drowning in the very element that had once made them thrive.

Bucky’s heart clenched as he took in the sight of you, barely conscious, submerged in water that now filled the room. You were floating just above the bed, your body limp, your hair fanned out around you like a dark halo. It was as if you had become part of the storm itself, lost in the chaos of your own mind.

“Y/N!” Bucky shouted, his voice raw with panic. He didn’t wait for Steve or Tony—he lunged forward, wading through the water that now reached his ankles. His hands were on you in an instant, pulling you from the water’s embrace, desperate to bring you back to the surface.

Steve was right behind him, his face pale with fear. “Y/N, please,” he whispered, as if saying it softly would bring you back to them. He watched as Bucky cradled your lifeless form, the water dripping off both of you, mixing with the tears that had started to fall from Bucky’s eyes.

“Wake up, please wake up,” Bucky pleaded, his voice breaking as he held you closer, trying to will life back into your body. But you didn’t respond. Your eyes were closed, your skin cold to the touch, and Bucky felt a terror he hadn’t known since the war. The room crackled with energy, the storm outside mirroring the chaos within. The power that once connected you to the earth, to life, was slipping away.

Part two

[lanabuckybarnes]

| Dinner Distraction |

18+ Minors DNI

Dinners with Bucky’s clients can be mind numbingly boring. After trying your hardest to be good for him the lack of entertainment is getting to you, all you need is to gome with your husband but hes making it hard for you. So you play the only way you know how.

✧Pairing✧ Mafia Boss!Bucky x Wife!Reader

✧Warnings✧ alcohol consumption, Brat!Reader, Public teasing, Voyeurism (not really but to be sure), Bondage, Rope tying, Collar, Punishments, Alluding to spanking, Masturbation (M), DIrty talk, Daddy kink, Name calling, Degrading, Humilation (itty bitty), [Petnames; Dove, Angel, Whore, Brat, Baby] — I believe that is all, any more that you find please let me know so that I can add them onto this list.

✧Word Count✧ 1.5K

✧Author Note✧ The writers block has been hitting me hard so i really hope this is up to scratch because ya boy has been struggling to enjoy her own writing lmao. Also please forgive any mistakes as I have skimmed over this — I may look at it again later and fix them or I might just leave it. Who knows.

You knew you shouldn’t have, you were playing with fire. Bucky’s meals were extravagant and over the top but extremely important to his business, a long table full of men and their ladies all wishing to discuss deals and arrangements with your husband. But to you, they were like watching paint dry. You downed your third wine listening to incredibly dull trips to the Maldives or men competing passive aggressively for the title of wealthiest idiot at the table.

By the time dessert rolled around you could’ve cried due to lack of entertainment, not even Bucky’s conversation was keeping you satisfied and with no excitement seemingly on the horizon you took matters into your own hands.

“Buck” you trill into your husband’s ear, trailing manicured nails up the thickness of his thigh before he rests his veiny hand on top of it halting your path to the finishing line between his legs. The brunette turned, flashing you a soft pearly white smile and kissing your cheek, murmuring about how beautiful you looked. Just when you thought you had your man’s attention he averted his gaze back to the balding man and his much younger bride. The things money could buy

You huff, a teeny kiss wasn’t good enough. You’d have to pull out the big guns.

“Bucky” you whine in his ear, making sure your lips brushed over the shell. With a quick look at the man, he excused himself from the conversation and turned to you again.

“What is it dove?”

The sound of his deep voice rumbling out the petname sent an involuntary shiver down the length of your body.

“I’m bored”

“It won’t be too much longer Angel, then we’ll take you home alright?” He chuckles at the way you bat your eyelashes at him, your lips pushed out in a soft pout which he gladly kisses.

No, it was definitely not alright. You wanted to go home and have fun with your man now, not in an hour. With the way Gemma kept prattling on about her one hundred thousand dollar ring you were sure you wouldn’t even be cognitive enough to breathe in an hour much less do what you wanted alone with Bucky.

“But-“

His blue eyes steeled quickly, his hand squeezing yours with a looming threat,

“No buts Dove, I’m warning you.”

Bucky should’ve known you weren’t one to heed his warnings, he’d spanked your ass raw enough times for him to know that you simply did not care for his threats — in fact, you quite enjoyed the feeling of his handprint on your ass. So why would you listen to him now?

You waited until his guard was down, sipping your drink silently, pretending to listen in on another conversation while he immersed himself back in his. He didn't bat an eye when you moved your laced hands from his lap into yours, your thumb tracing over the webbing veins.

He almost choked when his fingers dipped into something wet and hot, your thighs securing around his wrist telling him all he needed to know. He stood up so quickly that his chair almost fell, startling the guests around him. His hand grabbed at your arm, slick digits pressing into it almost painfully but you only smirked. You were getting what you wanted.

“Sorry for the suddenness but my wife…” he glared over at you, the muscles in his cheek twitching sad he clenched his jaw tight, “isn’t feeling too good. My assistant will reach out to you all about our agreements and the date for our next meal.”

With a wave he commanded all of his men out of the restaurant, each suited man making their way to the blacked-out SUVs parked outside. You stumbled as he dragged you along, his hand dropping to your ass and squeezing tight.

“You are such a fucking little whore, just you wait” It should’ve been embarrassing how wet you got at his growl. The ride home was tense and silent, you remained as still as the air around you, fearing that a single movement would bring about Bucky’s wrath in the backseat of the car. Not that you would’ve minded but you liked the old driver too much to put him through something like that.

Everything blurred as the car parked outside the house, Bucky slipping out first before helping you out too. He dragged you quickly to the huge master bedroom and rummaged around the closet for a box. You gulped at its sight, it could only mean one thing.

You whine, tugging on the pretty pink rope tied expertly around your wrists and thighs, keeping them closed. The rope makes sure your wrists are tied to the length of rope around your thighs so that you can’t touch yourself or Bucky. The bell on your collar rings softly as you lurch a little closer to the man not even a foot away from you.

His legs cage you into your chair, spread wide leading up towards his leaking cock, freed from its confines and dribbling profusely over his navy slacks. He doesn’t seem to care about soiling himself though, his bored eyes bore into you, one hand rests against the side of his head while the other drums against the hardwood of the chair.

“So desperate” he tuts, chastising you for squirming around under his eyes. His thigh knocks into your knee when you move around again.

“Sit still brat. You wanted this, the second you opened that slutty mouth you were begging for it.” He chuckles darkly as you hang your head at the nickname, hiding the deep blush on your cheek and glossy, lust-filled eyes. Bucky had spent years studying you, he could read you like a book; your body may as well have been his own he knew it that well.

The brunette gripped your cheeks in a bruising vice, forcing you to look up at him with pouted lips. Your faces were so close that your nose brushed against his, whining deep in your throat bubbling forth at the minimal contact.

“You keep those fucking eyes on me, at all times. Or I’ll bring out the paddle” he warns and you whimper at the thought. A long dark leather paddle Bucky only used when you misbehaved, he knew you hated it with a passion, not because it hurt but because it didn't have the right shape — you much preferred Bucky’s handprint against your cheek than that thing.

“Aww, don't want the paddle?” He mocks, pouting his lips before laughing and pushing you back into the chair by your face. “You better behave then slut.”

He groans as his big hand wraps around his length, sucking his lip into his mouth at the little pleads and whimpers you let out when he began to jerk himself slowly, almost too slowly but he knew how much you hated it when he played with himself. Especially if you couldn’t help.

“Da-“ you mewl, slumping into your seat when the only response you receive is a sharp grunt as his hand twisted over his raging red tip.

“Fuck baby feels so good. Wish it was your hand — mmm yeah. But bad girls don't get what they want, do they? And I know you fucking want this.” He continued cursing and moaning. His hips thrust up to meet his hand, his eyes squeezing shut and his head lulling back.

“You soaking that fucking chair angel hm? Bet you are, don't even try shaking that head — not that you could — you’re too busy drooling for daddy’s cock ain’t you?” He smiles wickedly at the soft slurping sound you made when you realised you were actually drooling for him.

“Daddy need you please, I’m sorry for teasing you but I was so bored and horny. Needed you so bad…please” you beg, your eyes wide and tits jumping as you bounced in desperation on the chair. Bucky had never met a bigger cock slut, your whimpering and begging shooting straight to his balls, sending him over the edge.

“Ohh shit, fuckfuckfuckfuck” he continued to fist his cock as white-hot pleasure seeped into his veins and out his dick, spurting all over his hand. You sob, mouth opened instinctively but you couldn’t taste it. That’s what you got for being a bad girl.

Bucky wasted no time, standing and making his way to the bathroom. When he returned he was completely clean, save for the stain on his slacks. You wanted to cry at all the cum he wasted when you could’ve had it. Your husband's hand settled on the top of your head, his worst soft and almost intelligible as he cooed his praises.

“There we go angel you did so good” you preen at his sweet nothings, nuzzling your head into him. “But daddy’s still gotta teach you a lesson okay?” With a swift tug, the ropes fell from around your wrists and thighs. He gave you a little minute to rub any pain from them before ordering you around again.

“Turn around, hands on the back of the chair and stick that pretty little ass out for me” he spoke, grunting at the sight of you sitting all obediently, one of his hands spread your cheek wide, giving him the perfect view of your creamy folds.

“Such a horny little baby. That’s alright Daddy will help soon.”

I DO NOT give permission to have my work copied, translated or reposted. If you see my work anywhere else except this page i have not given consent for it to be used.

Comments, Reblogs, Likes and Asks are always appreciated, however if you like this fix please consider reblogging to help it reach a wider audience. They let me know that you are enjoying what i read and give me motivation to write more.

[cattordi]

a/n did y’all miss me??? writing this in class 🤗 so enjoy. honestly felt like i write absolutely too much abt absolutely nothing

summary you get a flat tire on the way to a party and on top of that you’re in the middle of nowhere so you call bucky to help you

pairings brothersbestfriend!mechanic!bucky barnes x collegestudent!reader

warnings smut , breeding, praise, not proofread, choking, foul language, arguing?,a bit of fluff etc. 18+ MINORS DNI

don’t test me

“only this would happen to me” you groan before pulling your car over in the absolute middle of nowhere.

you were on the way to a spring break party but clearly the universe had other plans. getting out of your car, you walk around to check out the damage.

low and behold, a flat tire.

“no fucking way.” you whisper. you were miles away from a gas station or any sort of place other people were. grabbing your phone from your back pocket of your jean shorts, you scroll through your contacts finding your brothers name.

you place the phone to your ear and sit for a bit letting it ring.

and ring.

and ring. until finally you’re sent to voicemail.

what the fuck?

you hesitate as you keep scrolling through your contacts looking at other options of help; until you finally reach that one person.

bucky.

your least favorite human to ever walk the earth but you could never deny how he made you feel sometimes.

the man was good with his words, you have to admit it.

only problem was, he was your brothers best friend and also a dick.

pressing the call button, you wait as the phone rings.

“please pick up, plea-“

“hey y/n, what’s up?” he says and there’s shuffling in the background.

“hey, i’m sorry to bother.”

no you aren’t.

“i got a flat tire and i need help changing it. if you can’t that’s fi-“

“where are you?”

“in the middle of nowhere.”

“what the hell? get in your car and send me your location. i’ll be there in 15.”

knowing you’re at least 30 minutes out of town, you comply and wait.

after what feels like 20 years, bright head lights blind you from behind and you sit up in your car. your drivers side door flies open and a pissed bucky stares at you.

“you could’ve at least locked the door y/n. hell you could’ve gotten murdered.”

rolling your eyes you get out, “didn’t think anyone would even be out here at this time of night.”

“don’t start with your attitude.” he begins while pulling a car jack out his truck, “i’m not in the mood.”

“whatever.”

“why are you even out here this late?”

“what are you my dad?”

“no but i’m your brothers best friend and i have the right to know.”

“it’s none of your busines.” you say and glare at him.

“tell me.”

“no.”

“y/n..” he basically growls at you.

“no.”

“i swear if you don’t tell me.”

you can see the frustration in his face so to be a brat, you keep going.

“i was going to get fucked.” you say and try not to laugh.

visible jealousy crosses his face and he stands from his squatted position. “you what?”

“i was going to have sex? is that a prob-“ you begin but are cut off by a hand around your throat.

“you know that pisses me off, so why keep pushing it? hm?” he hums the last part, “you tryna get to me darling?”

you do the best you can to nod as pleasure filled tears brim your eyes.

this is what you always wanted from him.

his metal hand slims into your shorts finding your clit. “do you want me to take you in my truck?”

you nod and his eyes go dark, taking a bit of the pressure off your throat.

if anyone passed by, you’re sure the police would be called.

“use your words.”

“yes.”

“good job baby.”

you both walk to his truck, him following behind you.

he opens the door to the back for you and you hop in immediately filled with even more excitement.

as soon as he closes the door behind the two of you, his lips attack yours. though you’re in such a small space it feels just right for the two of you.

pulling at your shorts, bucky unbuttons them and pulls them down with your underwear.

he takes notices of the wet spot on your panties and chuckles. “so wet for me already.”

his hand slids between your folds; coating every inch of you before two fingers slide in.

you gasp at the stretch and his pace only gets faster. “you feel so tight around my fingers baby.”

“i’m gonna cum.”

he stops and you’re immediately pissed off. “why’d you stop?”

“i want you to cum when i’m you.”

you hadn’t notice his jeans were down but his dick caught your full attention,

and my lord was it big.

“it’s not gonna fit.”

“oh it will. lay back for me.” he says calmly all the while, lining up at your entrance.

the anticipation wears off as soon as he slams in you and begins moving. the truck fills with sounds of moans and skin slapping.

“you’re so tight, i love it.” he says and his strokes become faster.

“you’re so big.” you say in between moans. “i’m getting so close.”

“you’re doing so well,” he begins and leans down to kiss you, “you take me so well.”

you’re getting closer and closer to coming everytine he hits your sweet spot and it couldn’t feel any better. “harder please.” you moan and he complies immediately, thrusting into you.

“i’m gonna cum.” you say and at that moment his thumb finds your clit and rubs big meaningful circles.

“my lord darling, you feel so good around me. it’s taking everything in me not to cum right now.”

he continues to thrust into you getting you closer and closer to what you both desire. “i’m cumming bucky.”

“i feel you darling, keep going. you’re squeezin’ me so tight.” he begins and you continue to cum around his cock,”i’ve waited for this for long baby.”

yours moans get louder as when grabs your legs and puts him on his shoulder, making his thrust hit a different spot inside of you. “y/n..” he moans, “fuck you’re making me fun babydoll.”

with that, his continues his fast thrust hitting your g-spot repeatedly till he comes.

warm spurts of cum fill you as his thrust slow down and eventually come to a halt. “holy fuck that was the best sex i’ve had in a long time..” you say while trying to catch your breath.

“you wanna go again?”

[sosa2imagines]

You, me and Vegas!

Story came out on Sebastian Stan's birthday. 13th August.

The story follows Bucky and Peach, two people who accidentally got married in Las Vegas after a night of too much alcohol. Despite the drunken mistake, they decide to annul the marriage. Bucky and Peach navigate their lives, pursuing their dreams and growing closer each day. The drunken marriage turns out to be a strange but fortunate beginning to their love story.

New Chapter every second or third day.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

Part 16 (Epilogue)

✅ Complete.

[sebastianstanlvrr]

I’m going to cum so hard.

His hands 🤭

[vbecker10]

Loads of Fun

What Prank? (Bucky x female reader Y/N)

Laundry Day (Loki x female reader Y/N)

How Could This Not Fit?! (Loki x fem reader Y/N)

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: Bucky doesn't want to admit that he hasn't quite gotten used to all the new technology since he was freed from the Winter Soldier and his latest issue is with the dryer. Y/N catches him mid-struggle with the machine and comes to his rescue.

Warnings: some light swearing, feeling a tad useless and old, Bucky struggling hard with the laundry, Y/N being super awkward

A/N: So in Laundry Day (linked above) I wrote an off hand little comment about how much laundry Bucky needed to do and @alexakeyloveloki comment inspired me to write a short fic about it so... enjoy 💚

This is not the same Y/N from Laundry Day & How Could This Not Fit?!, this is a different one. Apparently a bunch of women in the Tower have the same name as you (haha sorry that's dumb but I wanted them both to be Y/N fics so here we are)

"Oh.... I messed up," you close your book and get up from the couch quickly as you suddenly realize it's almost midnight. You had meant to only read one more chapter but you had gotten lost in your book as always.

You grab your detergent from the closet, drag your overflowing laundry hamper to the door and slide on a pair of flip flops. "Every freaking time," you mumble to yourself as you open the door. Once again, you put off doing laundry until you completely ran out of clothes.

The elevator doors open and you step out into the basement. "At least no one should be down here," you think out loud thankfully.

You had tried to do your laundry this morning but you gave up on that idea as soon as you opened the door. Loki's girlfriend was sitting on top of one of the dryers with her legs around his waist. You put your hand on the door and shake the images of the two of them away, you don't need that to be stuck in your brain.

"Damnit," you whisper as you freeze completely, the door halfway open. Bucky has his back to you as he stares at the dryer, unaware of your presence. You had developed a crush on the super soldier and decided the best way to handle it was to avoid him at all cost like any other mature adult. You were terrified that you might say or do something embarrassing so you thought your best option was to never be alone with him.

You sigh, knowing you're out of underwear and options so you open the door the rest of the way. Before you can say anything to him, the dryer Bucky is focused on begins to beep loudly.

"I don't know what you want from me," he says to it, his voice full of frustration.

He opens the door and the sound stops, you are both completely still but as soon as he closes the door it begins again. He pushes the button on the panel to start the dryer but the beeping continues.

"Why are you so complicated?" he asks the machine, clearly unaware that he is no longer alone. He pushes another button that does nothing to quiet the sound then he groans loudly, nearly ripping the door off the hinges with his metal arm.

"Do you need help?" you ask quietly from behind him.

He closes the door quickly as he turns around to face you. You can see the frustration in his expression turn to embarrassment when he realizes you were watching him. As he opens his mouth to answer you, the dryer starts to beep again.

He pulls the door open and turns towards you again. With a look of utter defeat he says, "I think it hates me."

You cover your mouth to keep from giggling at the fact that a super soldier is losing a battle with an appliance. There is no need for you to add insult to injury, you think, but he does look like he is in desperate need of a hug.

You walk over to him and drag your hamper in front of an empty machine. "I'm sure it doesn't hate you," you reassure him with a smile and he shrugs, clearly not believing you.

"Can I take a look?" you ask pointing at the dryer and he nods, moving away from it as if it might explode at any second.

"You can try but I'm telling you, this one is evil," he laughs nervously.

"I think I can handle it," you try to sound sure of yourself. "Oh, I'm Y/N, by the way," you suddenly decide to introduce yourself as you close the door.

"I know," he answers and you turn your head to look at him over your shoulder, the beeping continuing. "You work for the IT department," he says and you feel yourself blushing. "I've seen you around the Tower a few times."

"Yep, that's me," you respond, trying not to sound as if your internally screaming. He remembers my name? When did we even talk? I definitely would remember if we talked. Focus, focus, you yell at yourself, you've been staring at him for too long.

"Well, they don't train us to handle haunted appliances but I think I can handle this one," you say then immediately cringe. Why do I talk? You think, this is why I avoid him.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Bucky laughing. You turn towards your new favorite sound and he smiles at you as he leans on a nearby washer.

Ok, you think to yourself, time to show off and fix this stupid thing. You check to see what settings he's used but they all look right. Well, there's that, you think a bit annoyed but you're determined to figure it out. Suddenly you get an idea.

"Sometimes these things get weird when they are unbalanced or too full," you explain as you open the door and bend down. You reach in to level things out. A second too late you realize your holding a pair of his damp boxers and throw them back inside.

"Yep, these look fine," you close the door quickly and stand up, hoping he didn't notice but you can tell he saw you pick them up. "No. I mean... not that the boxers look fine, just like the load is fine. I- I'm just gonna..." you say, as you turn to face the dryer again. "I'm gonna die," you whisper as you rub your face with your hands. Good job dummy, you managed to make this even more awkward.

"Damn dryer is going to beat both of us," he says after a moment of continuous beeping and you can't help but agree with him.

"I think you might be right-" you pause, your eyebrows scrunching as a blinking red light catches your attention. "Has this been blinking the whole time?"

"I think so," he guesses. "Is that important?"

You sigh and nod, "It means I'm an idiot."

He tilts his head, his arms folded across his chest as he watches you open the dryer door again. You pull open the small door at the bottom and groan. He walks closer to see what you are doing but you don't notice until he leans over your shoulder.

"What is that?" he asks and you jump at how close his voice is to your ear. "Sorry," he laughs. "Thought you knew I was in here."

"Yea I just thought you were over there," you wave you hand towards where he had been and almost hit him in the face with the back of your hand. He dodges it easily and laughs lightly as you cover your mouth. "I'm so sorry," you mumble from under your hand.

"Its fine, you missed," he says with a grin. "So what's wrong with it?"

You pull out the lint trap and show him, "This thing is full so it won't run until we empty it." His expression tells you he has no idea what it is so you explain how a lint trap works and that if you don't clean them out you could potentially start a fire.

"Oh," he responds. "Wouldn't it be helpful if the stupid thing said that's what was wrong with it instead of just beeping?"

"It did," you groan then point to the light that is no longer blinking. "That's what the little light was for."

You wait for him to be stunned by your stupidity. You work for the IT department at Stark Industries, the most technologically advanced company in the world and you barely fixed a not broken dryer. You turn it on for him then turn your attention to finally loading your clothes into the washer.

Instead of responding the way you think he will, he sighs and takes a seat. "I don't understand any of this new technology," he admits.

You turn over your shoulder to look at him and see that he seems defeated again. "Don't worry," you try to make him feel better. "Stark likes new toys. He gets all the fanciest tech, no one knows how to use this stuff."

"I don't know how to do anything," he rests his elbows on his knees and leans forward. You turn on the washers and walk towards him. "Nothing is simple anymore."

"What do you mean?" you ask as you sit in the empty chair next to him.

"Everything is a computer now and the whole building talks. The fridge has more technology in it than the last car I drove, the toaster is voice activated, hell even the sinks are motion sensors," he says, his eyes focused on his hands as he talks.

You cover your mouth quickly to hide your laugh but it slips out. He looks at you and you lower you hand to ask, "I'm sorry but... who told you the toaster was voice activated?"

"Sam," he says then his eyes widen, "It's not is it?"

"No," you shake your head and can't hold back your laughter.

He groans, lowering his head again, "I'm gonna kill him."

"You didn't really believe him did you?" you ask in disbelief.

"I spent five minutes yelling 'toast' at it this morning before he said it was probably updating," he admits, covering his face with his metal hand.

You smile and imagine him getting more and more annoyed at the poor little appliance.

He sits up, resting the back on his head on the wall behind you. "I just don't know why everything is so complicated," he says and you suddenly feel guilty for laughing.

"I'm sorry," you tell him, looking down at your feet. "Have you tried talking to Steve about getting you up to speed on some things?"

"I don't want to keep bothering him every time I can't turn on a light or get ice out of the fridge," he says. "Steve adjusted fine so I just have to keep trying to figure all of this out."

"Who told you Steve adjusted well?" you ask before you can stop yourself.

He looks at you but doesn't answer so you continue talking. "I was part of the team that helped wake him up. Trust me, he freaked out plenty of times and he was confused by pretty much everything in the beginning."

He shakes his head, "I didn't know that, it's one of the only things we've never really talked about."

"I'm sorry we didn't have a team prepped for you when you joined. I guess we just sort of figured you had been awake a lot more than Steve," you say. "As the uh... other guy," you add awkwardly, trying to avoid calling him the Winter Soldier.

"Technically I was but..." his voice trails off and his flesh hand covers his metal hand as he looks down.

"The other guy didn't do much cooking or laundry, did he?" you ask, finishing his thought.

"No," he answers.

After a short silence you say, "If you want, I can help get you up to speed. A lot of the tech around here is actually pretty easy to use, if you know what your doing."

"You don't have to waste your time," he shrugs. "I'll figure it all out."

"Helping you wouldn't be a waste of time," you tell him with a smile. "Besides, I have a lot of free time. I pretty much do nothing but read when I'm not working so I'm always around if you need me," you add and groan internally. Try to make it sound like you don't have a life at all, good job, you think.

He smiles and makes eye contact with you, "That would be really helpful, thanks."

You get lost in how his smile lights up his face but the long beep of the dryer finishing thankfully means you don't stare at him until it gets awkward. He gets up to empty the machine and you grab your book from the top of the washer before sitting back down. As you open the book he sits next to you again.

"Oh," you close the book and look up. "Sorry, I thought- you don't have to stay down here. I've got a while left until it'll be done."

He looks at the time left on the washer and says, "I just thought we could talk for a bit but... if you would rather read, I can leave you to it."

"I can read this later," you smile. You mean to gently toss the book on the table used to fold laundry but you over shoot and it hits the floor, sliding away from you. You cover your face with your hands and get up.

"I've got it," he laughs. He places the book on the table and sits next to you.

"I'm not usually a disaster," you tell him and he chuckles. "Actually, I kind of am. That's why I'm way better off with books and the tech stuff then with people," you admit. "I always do something stupid or say something weird," you feel yourself shrink back in your chair.

"I think it makes you interesting," he replies with a smile. "I'm never quite sure what you're going to say or do."

You laugh nervously, "Me neither." A second later your brain turns on, wait did he say I was interesting?

"There is actually one thing you could help me with now, if that's ok?" he asks, keeping you from focusing too much on what he had just said. He takes out his phone, "I think there's something wrong with it."

He hands it to you and you almost drop it when your fingers touch, "Ha, I've got it. Sorry." You open the settings and start looking for usual problems but things seem fine. You look up at him, "What's wrong with it?"

He smirks and says, "It doesn't have your number."

"Wow," you can't help but laugh. "That was really smooth."

He laughs and says, "I'm a bit out of practice but I thought that was good."

"It was," you blush and add your number before handing him back his phone.

He looks at it then back at you and says, "Okay, but seriously, how do I text you cause I'm not sure how exactly to do that."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

(I don't have a Bucky tag list yet so sorry my Loki list didn't get a choice lol)

@soubi001 @michelleleewise @harlequin-hangout @ace-of-gay @xorpsbane @mochie85 @sheris532 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @lokiandbuckysdoll @winterfrostlovetriangle @cabingrlandrandomcrap @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @janineb86 @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @jiyascepter

[lex-is-up-all-night-to-get-bucky]

@animavelita over on tiktok has me all up in my unholy thoughts

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 10

May 20th

Series masterlist

Previous part: Star Crossed Lover

Word Count: 11,175

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Allusions of sex, mentions of violence, and abuse recovery.

After a long hot shower, Steve stood in front of the bathroom sink. With nothing but a towel around his waist and his bathroom door wide open to let out the trapped steam, he very carefully inspected his face through the still semi- foggy mirror as he shaved.

Often times he hated the hassle of being clean shaven, and wished he could get away with having a beard- or even just some stubble again without people making weird comments about it. But if the masses felt safer with a less hairy version of Cap, who was he to not give the people what he wanted?

Eventually he got lost in how silly it was that the avengers appearances meant so much in regard to how the public perceives them, but the sound of his front door unlocking and opening pulled him right back.

"Hey, Love Bug!" Steve happily called out to you.

Blissfully unaware of what you were going to walk into, you saw the reflection of a half naked super soldier through the bathroom mirror the moment you entered his soapy smelling apartment.

The closest you had ever gotten to even seeing the man shirtless was if he reached to grab something up high or stretched and his shirt would rise to reveal an inch or two of his lower belly, so the sight of water still dripping down his pecs caused a totally normal reaction.

A high pitched screech and the sound of your hand slapping over your eyes caused Steve to physically jolt, then nearly hunch over in a booming laugh when he turned to look at you.

Standing in your Avengers suit with rosy skin, and a big smile stretched across your cheeks, you started fanning your face. "I thought you said you were almost ready! I wouldn't have barged in here had you not texted me 10 minutes ago saying that!"

"Do I not look almost ready to you?" Steve's laugh prevailed at your reaction, motioning up and down at his towel covered body.

"Almost ready to be a Baywatch lifeguard? Maybe. Go on a mission? Absolutely not." You continued with a loud voice and defensive hand motions. "Your hair is still wet!"

"It'll dry" He shrugged with a giggle. "I just need to put my suit on, it'll take two minutes."

"Is it hot in here?" You questioned, going back to fanning your face with your hand. "Or is it just you?"

Now it was Steve's turn to blush. "I don't know, it started getting pretty hot when you walked in"

"You know what? That was pretty smooth for you." You said, feeling proud of him for finally being brave enough to flirt. You dropped your duffle by the door,  "Good job, Stevenson. I'm proud."

He watched you stride into his bedroom, getting closer to where he stood. Happy with the distance closing and assuming you would be greeting him with a hug, or maybe even a kiss if he was really lucky, a pout settled deep into his lips and brows as you belly flopped onto his bed instead.

"What the hell, man?" Steve questioned sadly.

You looked over at him, momentarily confused. He crossed his arms around his chest as you tried to understand what you did to elicit this response from him.

"Now I'm freezing cold." He joked playfully, looking at himself in the mirror again and grabbing a tube of hair balm and squeezing some onto his fingers.

Realizing what you had done, you got up from the bed and wrapped your arms around him from behind as he spread the product into his freshly washed dirty-blonde locks. Feeling the soft, warm skin of his tummy on the palms of your hands was a feeling you knew would be highly addictive. Your cheek rested on his smooth back and you let out a content sigh. "Hi, Stevie. I missed you."

"I missed you too" Steve grinned, rinsing the excess product off his hands under the faucet and patting them dry before placing his hands on your arms. "It's so warm and lovely here, huh?"

"It's perfect" you agreed with a smile. Rocking up on your tippy toes to look over his shoulder and into the mirror, you took a selfish moment to admire the parts of him you've never seen before.

There was a lot of effort on your end to keep the drool inside your mouth as your eyes inspected his broad shoulders and strong chest. "You have beautiful eyes."

"Thank you, pretty girl." Steve giggled at your statement as he could see clear as day that you definitely weren't looking at his eyes. "First time in your new suit, huh? It looks great!"

"It feels great too, so much more comfortable than my old one." You told him, regretfully releasing him from your arms and finding your way back to his bed and sitting crisscrossed on top of it.

“And your first Avengers mission! It's a big day." Steve left the bathroom and started gathering all the pieces of his suit. "Are you nervous?"

"Considering it's just us two on the mission, I'm not as nervous as I think I would be if it was with the whole team." You explained. "But I always get a just a little nervous before missions."

"I get that too, the jitters." Steve scrunched up his nose. "I'm extra nervous for this one"

"Why? It should be easy peasy!" You rationalized.

"I've seen your mission stats and felt first hand how hard you hit, you intimidate me." Steve admitted with a giggle. "I have to be on my best behavior to try and keep up with you."

"Are you actually insane?" You questioned, raising an eyebrow. "You're Captain America you dumb bitch, nobody can ever compare to you. I'm the one that has to work extra hard here."

Stopping in place, Steve gasped and placed an offended hand over his heart. "What did you just call me?"

"Captain America?"

"No, the other thing."

"Oh, a dumb bitch!" You said happily.

"How dare you" Steve joked, shaking his head. His eyes stayed on all the pieces of his suit that were lying on the bed, next to where you were sitting.

"I'm offended that you even had that thought."

"You're offended that I think you're good at what you do?" Steve quipped.

"Do I need to remind you again that you're Captain America?" You asked, pointing to the star on the suit next to you. "Maybe if you put that on you'll finally remember."

"I do need to put that on." Steve agreed with you, still standing and hovering over the suit.

"So why aren't you?" You asked.

"I'm really shy" Steve whispered to you, emphasizing his point.

"Oh, now you're shy!" You chuckled, turning around to face the opposite direction and covered your eyes with the palms of your hands. "I promise I won't look."

"I'll be fast!" Steve declared. A smile spread on your face as you heard his towel hit the ground, happily knowing he trusted you enough to not take a peek, but also imagining him scrambling to get into his clothes as fast as he could.

There were a few moments when all you heard was fabric rustling, then you heard a few sounds of struggle. "You okay back there? Sounds like you're fighting the uniform instead of fighting in the uniform."

"Either I'm getting bigger or these pants are getting smaller because I swear every time I put them on it's a workout just to get my ass in them" Steve admitted, voice straining as he was stuffing, pulling, and stretching. Then, you heard a zipper and a buckle. "Okay, mission accomplished, you will no longer be traumatized if you look."

You laughed at his commentary and turned back around, all he managed so far was his pants, but he was more dressed than he was in the towel. "I think those pants are the perfect size for your butt."

Luckily, slipping his undershirt over his head shielded his pink cheeks from you. "That implies that you're looking at my butt."

"I'm looking at your pants, they just so happen to be right in front of your butt. That's not my fault." You corrected. "And even if I was ogling at your cheeks, you've seen mine as bare as the day I was born so I think it's only fair."

"I saw all the places the sun don't shine" More zippers, more buttons, more buckles, more pieces, "I never said there was anything wrong with sneaking a peek."

"So you're not that shy after all" You grinned.

"Did you look over the mission briefing?" Steve asked, trying to change the topic of conversation away from his butt.

"Of course I did, like a good little agent"

"Avenger" Steve corrected happily with a lopsided smile.

"Avenger." You agreed, watching him put on his fingerless gloves.

"And thank you, that makes my job easier. So you know-"

"12 hours to get in, secure the payload, take out the traitors, destroy enemy lines, get out. We'll have a little sleepover in Colorado, we'll be home by noon tomorrow. Easy peasy!"

"Very good, most of the avengers don't pay attention to any of that information unless I verbalize it to them." Steve giggled, attaching his shield to his back after putting on his boots. "The terrain will have high elevation so we might get have a pretty big increase in altitude, it'll also be really cold- if not snowing. Are you prepared for that?"

"I checked the weather and packed accordingly."

"Ugh, I love you." Steve sighed, so happy to finally have a teammate he didn't have to babysit.

"I love you too." You giggled, standing up knowing it was time to go.

"Ready to head out?" Steve asked, walking towards the door.

Following behind him, you stop him at the door. "Wait!"

"What's wrong?" He asks with an adorably confused and concerned face.

You rocked up on your tippy toes and gave him a quick kiss. "Sorry, just needed to get that out of my system before we left."

Steve smiled. "You shouldn't be saying sorry, I should be saying thank you."

His dead serious tone made you laugh as he picked up both your duffles at the door while you opened it. "Get in the Jet, Twinkles, we have crime to fight!"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

Over the past few weeks, all of the avengers have been a substantial part of your successful and smooth transition onto the team, but especially Steve. There wasn't one scary step you had to take where he wasn't right next to you metaphorically, or physically holding your hand.

Through extensive paperwork, doctor's appointments, media training, and press conferences, he was right there to help you through it. Whether it was covering your shivering body with warm, fluffy blankets after having a fever from getting multiple rare vaccines just in case you had to travel to all sorts of different places around the world, or practicing answers to common questions the press loved to shout out to speakers at conferences, he was happy to guide you down the right paths.

After giving your face a few days to heal from the attack, you were getting slathered in thick layers of concealer and foundation before Tony introduced the general public to you, the newest Avenger. That day in particular was hard.

You were nearing a full blown panic attack while sitting in a hair and makeup chair. The makeup artist struggled at first to cover the fresh scars on your face, and you were so wrapped up in your own head about the public's reaction to you that your mom who sat in the audience, came back in the green room just to hold your hand and remind you of how great you were.

Though your Mom was one of your biggest comforts throughout your entire life, nothing compared to the calmness that washed over you when Steve entered the room. He sat right next to your mom as the stylist finished up your hair, and talked you through how the next hour of your life would go, and reminded you that he would be right in the front row next to your mom for support.

Their bright smiling faces encouraged you to be brave enough to push through the hard parts, and reminded you to bask in the joy of the warm welcome you got from the whole country.

That was also the same day your mom caught onto what was really happening, and found a few moments to ask you if you and Steve were dating when he slipped away to speak to a reporter. Then not too long after that, you and Steve mutually agreed that it would be best if the blossoming relationship between the two of you stayed private for a while as you adjusted to the public eye.

Though you knew he was still too nervous and shy around you for PDA, you still found the extent of his consideration of you to be so very sweet.

And now the two of you were at the point of the scars on your face healing nicely, first mission together underway, and he still hasn't kissed you first.

It was concerning to you for a little while there, so much so that you even went to Bucky to ask him for some knowledge from his 100 year old archive of Steve Rogers knowledge and expertise. He reassured you through plenty of experience that Steve just really sucked at being confident around girls he found himself pining over, and you, for some reason, damn near knocked him head over heels every time he looked at you. Though you were flattered and understood Bucky's words probably came vicariously through Steve's own mouth, you knew you just had to be gentle and give him some time.

Luckily for Steve, you had all the time in the world for such a sweet creature. Except for today, today the two of you only had 12 hours to complete your tasks.

Just as expected, the mission was going as smoothly as it possibly could. Well, for you it was. Steve on the other hand found a whole new set of struggles out on the field he's never experienced before.

The two of you went at it with the good ol' divide and conquer method. Though teamwork and sticking together was more his usual style, he understood the time frame and importance of getting it all done as fast and clean as possible, and he trusted that you would be perfectly fine on your own.

What he didn't consider was the moments your paths crossed and how flustered he got watching you fight. It was like watching a hot steak knife cut through room temperature butter, nobody stood a chance against you. A billion different emotions flew at him as he witnessed you fighting with his own eyes for the first time. His instinct was to protect you at all costs, but he knew damn well you didn't need him. It was simultaneously the hottest thing he had ever seen, while also kicking his own confidence down a notch considering all his thoughts revolved around you and that made his own good decision making decline rapidly.

He nearly died on the spot as he ran past you right as you took down an opponent, and still found the chance to wink at him as he passed by. Weak in the knees, he still had to find the strength to keep going.

Then with all rooms cleared minus the one with the payload, your voice filled his comms and the two of you agreed to clear it out together. A few hours deep into the mission your familiar chipper tone was now a bit deeper and raspier from the elevation and cold cold weather, all it did was make his weak knees even weaker.

By the time he ran into the room that you stormed into without waiting for him first, you were already combating with about 4 guys twice the size of you. One by one they fell to the ground, and as you came face to face with the very last of the enemies, Steve knocked him out before you could even raise your fist.

"Oh, thanks!" You smiled, standing a little straighter while trying to catch your breath.

"You were doing pretty shitty without me, thought I'd lend a hand" Steve joked, big cheeky smile on his face. He was genuinely happy to see you in your element, this was the first time he ever witnessed you be completely confident.

"My hero!" You swooned, pretending to fall backwards into his arms.

Steve giggled before looking around the room and spotting the briefcase they needed to recover. Carefully picking it up, he realized they had a few moments to just relax now that none of their opponents were conscious. "In all seriousness, remember how I said I was intimidated by you this morning? That still stands. I can barely concentrate."

"You're ridiculous, but you're doing great." You smiled, panting while you reached up to squeeze his shoulder. "I'm not used to fighting alongside teammates who actually try to get the job done. It's actually really nice. Thanks, Cap."

"Get used to it, this is how it's going to be from now on." He reminded you. "It should be pretty smooth from here on out, we'll be out of here in no time."

After destroying classified information, and tying up all the loose ends, out of there they were. By the time the two of you made it to the hotel for, as you loved to call it, your sleepover, that's when Steve finally got his chance to shine by talking care of everything.

Check in, carrying the bags, even letting you shower first while he got dinner for the two of you so you didn't have to think about anything. Acts of service was how he best knew to express his love for others, and he could tell you always appreciated it. Especially when you were used to taking care of all of your former teammates on missions.

By the time you got your sore body out of the shower and dressed in the coziest of sweats and fresh fluffy socks, it was already almost midnight and Steve already had a delicious meal waiting for you. The two of you ate together, and the exhaustion hit you so hard that you were hysterically laughing about things that weren't even funny, which made Steve laugh right along with you.

It was such a nice change of pace for the both of you. Being able to let go of the mental weight after days of battle was hard to do, but each other's company made it easy. It made you wonder why you didn't agree to be an Avenger way sooner, and it made you realize how much you just wanted to keep Steve around you forever and ever.

He knew when your giggles subsided with one big yawn, it was probably time for you to get some sleep. When he got up to take a shower, you didn't hesitate to dive into bed and make yourself cozy. By the time he got out, also cozy in some warm sweats, a content smile stretched across his face when he saw your sleeping frame all snuggled up in the blankets to keep warm.

It was starting to snow out, and the heater tried its best to keep it warm, but nothing beat the warmth of each other. Which is why Steve made the executive decision to completely ignore one of the two beds in the room and slide underneath the covers with you.

As carefully as he could to not wake you up, he reached over to turn the lights off, then cuddled you to you. He pulled your back to his front and held you snuggly against him, just as his head hit the pillow, your quiet sleepy voice pulled his attention to you.

"Yay, Stevie sleepover!" You enthused with barely any energy. The juxtaposition was more than amusing to the soldier.

"Buggy bedtime!" He quietly enthused with you. "Sorry, I tried so hard not to wake you up."

"I'm so happy I'm awake, because now I'm aware of how warm and cozy this is." You mumbled, Grabbing onto one of his arms and hugging in between yours.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asked. "Need anything before we sleep?"

"Just a little sore, but I'm totally okay. I actually feel really good." You confessed. "How 'bout you? Are you okay?"

"Not even a scratch." You could hear the grin in his tired voice. "You were incredible today, I'm really proud of you"

"You taught me everything I know." You tried getting impossibly closer to him, feeling like you were halfway between the real world and dream land.

"Hey..." Steve adjusted his arm from you grip so he could reach your face.

"Hmm?" You questioned, half asleep as his hand cupped your cheek and gently pulled it towards him.

All the already thin air was nearly knocked out of your lungs and you were fully convinced that you were definitely dreaming when he pressed his lips to yours. As corny as it seemed, this kiss was different than all the rest. It felt like all the romance books had described kisses. Sparks, fireworks, passion, comfort, love, and longer than all the ones you'd exchanged before.

You'd never felt anything like it before, not with him, not with Harvey, no one. You knew you'd remember it forever.

All of the mental weight you felt over his long journey of being too scared to kiss you first just melted right off. Immediately you realized how silly it was in the first place. You were happy to move on his own time.

"I know I haven't been the best at truthfully expressing my feelings, but that's just because you're the most special little thing I've ever had before. You made me incredibly nervous even though you've been nothing but patient with me. But just know that I really do think you're the most wonderful person I've ever met. I'm really happy we got to do this today, you've grown so much to get here. It's been really lovely to watch."

Turning over to face him, you kissed him right back and held him just as tight. "You've grown a lot too, and you've definitely gotten braver. I think you're the sweetest, most handsome man on this planet and frankly I don't know if I deserve words as kind as those. But thank you, your spot in my life has been one of the greatest honors, even more so than the fancy Avenger title."

"Now how am I ever supposed to go on missions with anyone else?" Steve grinned and he slowly moved his hand off your face and settled into the mattress and against your body. "This has spoiled me completely."

"Clint doesn't ever want to spoon with you?" You questioned sleepily. "I bet Bruce is nice and warm."

"I'd rather sleep on the floor." Steve deadpanned. "With no blankets..."

"I bet Tony would snuggle up." You smiled to yourself, knowing that would tip him over the edge.

"Outside. Naked in the snow."

A lazy giggle was all your body had energy for, "but you're shy!"

"Then it's a really good thing that you're here instead of them, huh?" Steve pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. "We can get all the cozy sleep we want in this expensive hotel on the government's dime."

"So luxurious" You mumbled. "Hope you have the best sleep ever."

"I always sleep well next to you, and the law says we have to sleep in tomorrow so that's even better."

"Oh, really?" You smiled at his made up law.

"Really." He confirmed. "Goodnight, love bug."

"Sweet dreams, Twinkles."

You did just what Steve, or the law, told you. It wasn't very hard to sleep in as late as your body would allow when you felt so safe and warm in the hold of your sweet super soldier.

Eventually when the two of you finally got your butts out of bed and back home, gears were shifted from missions and battlefields to lawyers and courtrooms.

With a lot of help and passion from Natasha, Harvey was officially on trial and facing the legal repercussions of his actions. Being a Plaintiff in a physical assault case was not something you ever had on your bingo card, and way out of your realm of knowledge, so there was a lot of work to be done.

Luckily, you had a lot of incredible people on your side. There was a solid week full of preparation with a big team of people who found it really important for you to win your case.

Tony worked with Jarvis and the compound security department to pull surveillance footage of any and all instances that could be used against Harvey in the court of law. Luckily, Steve was good at his job and thought one step ahead of everyone else, so he had recorded the date and approximate times of every single incident you had come to him for. That helped tremendously in pulling evidence.

Bucky, Sam, Nat, Steve, Commander Bennett and a few other Agents from your old recruit group came forward as your witnesses, and character witness. Their support meant more to you than anything else.

Nat also shared her best advice with you over plenty of lunches together, and even went shopping with you for clothes to wear for the three day long trial. The long week of preparation usually ended with dinners at your place every night, a double date of sorts with Bucky, Nat, and Steve.

All of the other Avengers supported the cause by holding down the fort so everyone else could focus on the trial.

Oh, and you had a really good lawyer.

Three long days of back and forth arguing was exhausting and emotionally taxing at best. At the very root of it, trying to get somebody you used to love in jail was devastating. He was your first love, and part of you knew that regardless of what he put you through, you'd always hold just a small piece of that love for him.

More surface level, and even though your issues with Harvey began way before your budding romance with Steve, you felt terrible that he was engaged with and had to clean up so much of this mess your ex boyfriend had made. It was also unexpectedly embarrassing to have to stand in front of a courtroom filled with your teammates, friends, and family where they all had to listen to the endless list of all the bad things that have happened to you at the hands of this man.

At the end of each day you just wanted to cry and be alone for a while. Making your way up to the rooftop after taking off your make up and business attire, you'd ignore everyone's attempts at trying to make you feel better and just spend some time with the stars.

Being faced head on with all the shit that was thrown at you, you couldn't help but to wonder if you should've made better choices. If you had done anything differently, maybe you would've never had to endure all the pain. You even wondered if you should be apologizing to your parents who were now hearing the true extent of your hardship.

Your dad was getting old, and your Mom was a worry wart. It wasn't good for either of them to hear any of the details, or see the close up pictures of your injured body. If he could, your dad would've killed him in one clean sweep and hid the body somewhere not even the avengers could find if he had the chance. Your sister and brother in law would do even worse than that, and you could only hope Luca would never grow up to learn about any of this and think anything less than you.

Because to him, and the rest of the world, you're a superhero now. So you found the strength to feel all your feelings after court, brush them off, then wake up the next morning to do it all again.

The last day was probably the worst. When the judge deemed Harvey guilty and sentenced him to 8 years, you should've been happy to see him getting taken away in handcuffs.

You should've been smiling, hugging, and celebrating like all of your loved ones behind you. The justice should've brought you peace, but all it did was bring tears to your eyes.

Especially as the police officers walked him right past you as they cleared the court for the final time.

"Happy?" Harvey asked you in passing. "This is what you always wanted huh?"

"I never wanted this." You stated clearly, and sadly. "Unfortunately your own actions led you here, it never had to be this way. I hope you learn a valuable lesson, and I wish you nothing but what you deserve in the future."

"You're fucking insane." He practically spat in your face. "You did this to me."

"You did this to yourself." You swallowed a lump in your throat.

Those were your final words to him before he was taken away, and you were swallowed by the arms of people who truly loved you.

In the hallways of the city courthouse, you were told by Steve, Nat, Bucky, and Sam that they passed a new regulation in the compound. It was called "The 306 policy" clearly stating that any bullying coming from any employee working for the avengers was now to be taken seriously with zero tolerance. No more strikes, no more warnings. Furthermore, if that bullying had to do with gender, sexuality, or race, they would be put under dishonorable discharge to ensure a bumpy life and career ahead.

After properly thanking everyone who put forth their time and effort to help, you got home and took a very very long nap, ate a big meal, took a hot shower, then put your AirPods on and went on a walk.

Stopping by a few shops and grabbing a few different special surprises, your mind felt so much clearer. A quick stop home, then you found yourself walking into Steve's apartment with said surprises in hand.

Given the time and the fact that it was already pretty late, you found Steve exactly where you expected him to be at 9:30 pm on a Friday night. On the couch with a movie he wasn't paying attention to playing on the TV, and his sketchbook and pencil in hand.

Not expecting you to want company tonight, Steve looked up at you with a confused look on your face when he saw you approach with flowers and a brown paper bag.

"Oh, hi love bug." Steve grinned contently, sitting up a bit and closing his sketch book and setting it down to give you his full attention.

"Hi, sorry, hope it's okay that I stopped by." You said while approaching him.

"It's always okay" Steve smiled and stuck his arms out for you. You set the flowers and the bag down on the coffee table before giving him a hug and a kiss. "What's up? How are you doing."

"Better, I know it's been a long week and I feel like I've been neglecting you a bit, and i'm sorry." You explained, watching his face soften. "I just wanted to spend some time with you. I brought us ice cream, and I got you flowers as a small token of appreciation for everything you've done for me. Not only this week, but my whole career here."

"You got me flowers?" He questioned with puppy dog pouted lips and furrowed brows.

"Mhm" You nodded, "I don't know what your favorite flowers are but these ones reminded me of you."

A sigh left his nose and his lips stayed pouted as he kept his eyes glued to the bouquet on the table. "Nobody has ever gotten me flowers before, that's so nice."

Sitting down next to him, you threw your arms loosely around his neck and rested your head against his. His arm quickly found the curve of your hip and rested there. You happily closed your eyes and enjoyed the embrace of the soldier.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I love them." Steve pressed a kiss to your temple. "But I hope you know I understand, and I don't feel neglected."

"Even if that's the case, I just want you to know how much I care about you."

"I know, I can feel it!" He reassured you, "I feel very secure, I never doubt your love and care for me."

A grin took control of your calm face. "Thank you for communicating so clearly, that takes away so much mental weight."

Steve giggled. "Will you communicate what kind of ice cream you got, and if I need to get up to get spoons?"

"Your favorite, vanilla with salted caramel ribbons. Spoons are in the bag."

"I can't believe this is how you treat me and everyone expected me to not fall head over heels?" He questioned, reaching in the bag and pulling out the pint.

You let go of him and got comfortable on the couch, crossing your legs underneath you and facing Steve. He handed you a spoon, and put half his blanket over your lap before popping the lid to the pint open.

Neither of you wasted any time before digging your spoons in. "Cheers?" Steve lifted his spoon.

You grinned. "To you, thank you for supporting me through a lot of bullshit."

"No" Steve denied, shaking his head with an even gentler smile. "To your peace of mind, getting the justice you deserve, and being brave enough to see the greener grass."

Too excited to eat ice cream to scold him for making this about you, you put the spoon in your mouth anyways. Both of you exhaled gloriously at the same time, it was so unfortunately delicious that you knew the entire pint stood no chance of survival.

"So, what are your big plans now that you finally get some peace and quiet?" Steve questioned.

"Well first thing tomorrow morning I'm going to go on a run on the outdoor track with my AirPods on, something I've been too scared to do for a while now." You noted. "Then I'll get some paperwork done from that mission we went on that I've been way too busy to touch, and after that I'll probably text Captain America to see if he wants to hang out and get dinner or something."

"Ooh, I bet he'll say yes." Steve perked up. "He told me he really wants to ask you out to get Dim Sum with him, something about a real date... but I'm not too sure. I think he was nervous about giving you some time to process everything that happened this week. So, you asking him to hang out would definitely make him happy."

"Mmm" You smiled, swallowing the ice cream in your mouth. "Well, if he needs any reassurance I would probably tell Cap that I don't need any more time to process because I learned a really valuable lesson recently."

Steve's heart started to increase in speed as these conversations always made him a bit anxious, which is why he tended to avoid them in the first place. "What would that be?"

"More time and a romantic night with candles and soup dumplings isn't going to do anything to change how I feel about you." You grinned, scooping more ice cream onto your spoon. "Whether we're in our pajamas eating ice cream together on the couch or dressed to the nines at some random charity event eating caviar, I'm just happy to be with you. This is a real date to me."

"While I agree completely," Steve giggled as a drop of melted ice cream landed on the back of your hand and you licked it off. "I have to say, if this is a date then now I'm a little nervous."

"That implies that if we were on a date, there is something you would do differently that's making you feel nervous." You raised your eyebrow, questioning his intentions.

"First of all, I'd be the one bringing you flowers. I'd probably brush my hair first and maybe not wear... this."

"But you look so handsome like that!" You argued. "And there's already flowers here so we both benefit."

"I'd also spend the whole night with sweaty palms just wondering if you were having fun or if I was acting a little weird on accident"

You smiled at his words. "I'm always having fun with you, and you're always a little bit weird. It's part of your charm. It's fun!"

"Then at the end of the night if you seemed like you had a good time and I hadn't yet scared you off I would be even more nervous because then I wouldn't know what to do." Steve shrugged. "Especially if this was a date. Because for a while now I've been meaning to ask you if I could be your boyfriend, but of course if I did that now it would just be terrible timing."

"Terrible timing?" Your head tilted sideways a bit.

"Because anticipating the answer to that question would make me incredibly nauseous, and I'm eating ice cream so adding dairy into that mix just wouldn't be pretty."

"Ah" You slowly nodded in understanding. "Okay, so I just won't answer that then. So there's absolutely no anticipation, no nausea, just ice cream."

Steve slowly leaned back until the arm of the couch dug into his spine, and he rid his spoon of the ice cream still on it. "Thanks, it also really helps with that feeling." He placed his hand over his sternum. "You know? That really awful one where it's like your heart is sitting in the pit of your stomach? Like it's trying to tell you it's in danger but really everything is fine."

"Everything is totally fine." You laughed as you watched him take a deep breath. "You asked the question and I didn't runaway screaming. The earth is still spinning, and you still have twinkles in your eyes so, yeah, really it is fine."

"I'm dying slowly and painfully." Steve whispered.

Reaching out and grabbing his hand, you pulled him back up. "Never in a million years would I ever say no to that."

"Are you sure?" His puppy dog eyes came right back. "I could've done this much better."

"You know, for about 99% of everything in my life I can see a benefit and a disadvantage. Maybe a flaw or a drawback that stops me from fully enjoying something for what it is." You explained. "But you? You're the only thing I've ever been 100% sure of. I don't need anything more convincing than this, this is already the best. Nothing could better."

Steve's posture relaxed, and he squeezed your hand. "I'm speechless."

"Speechless, or perhaps all your energy is focusing on making sure your internal organs are going back to normal." You giggled. "No throw up! I'm so proud!"

"My face probably reads very differently, but I swear I'm really happy right now."

You leaned forward and kissed him. His lips tasted just as sweet as his personality which made it even harder to pull away. But when the need to breathe got too dire, your foreheads stayed connected.

"I'm Steve Rogers girlfriend." You spoke, the statement felt foreign and undeserving on your tongue. "Man oh man, how did this happen?"

"It's a really long story." Steve smiled. "Is this a good time to tell you that your dad invited me over for dinner next Tuesday?"

"Of course he did" you sighed, kissing him one more time before pulling away. "My dad didn't even invite me over for dinner next Tuesday."

"Trust me, he's going to." Steve smiled. "You have a really cool family. I hope it's okay that I said yes."

"That's fine." You giggled. "But you do understand that my dad probably hasn't realized we're dating?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Steve nodded with a smile.

"And you understand that my mom definitely knows?" You questioned again. "And it's not just going to be them two? Luca will definitely be there, and he will definitely be bothering you the whole time."

"That's the fun part!" He enthused.

"Okay." You smiled, raising your hands up in defense. "If you know what you're in for, and you still think it sounds fun then knock yourself out by all means."

Before Tuesday rolled around, Steve was thankful that neither of you got called onto missions so he could have the opportunity to romance you the way you deserved. He was also thankful that you already agreed to be his girlfriend so he could actually relax and enjoy your time together without being too terribly anxious about what was to happen next.

Just as promised, the two of you went to that fancy dim sum restaurant you couldn't get enough of, better outfits, more flowers, a lovely stroll along the water, city lights, then he asked you that dreaded question again. This time more confidently, and once more you agreed to let him be your boyfriend, and reassured him that you loved the way he asked you the first time. But, this was lovely too and you appreciated the gesture. The night wrapped up with snuggles and a movie while you happily waited for Steve to move things along at his own pace.

You did eventually get invited to that Tuesday night dinner with your parents, and that also went really well. Steve seemed really comfortable and very relaxed around your family, even more so than you expected. Of course Steve was a personable, well rounded, and easily adaptable man. You knew he could handle a lot more than you ever could, but admittedly, your mother greeting him with a big ol' kiss on the cheek immediately followed by getting tackled by Luca and Rocket at the same time was a bit more than you expected.

A big cheeky smile remained on his face the whole time he was there, and the whole long drive back home. He even fell asleep holding you in his arms with a grin on his face, happy and content as could be.

Then, the day after that and the next few days to follow, he started acting.... uncharacteristically. He got quieter, started hanging around everyone less, and working out more.

You asked him a few times if there was something wrong, and each attempt was met with a different variation of the fact that he was okay, and everything was fine.

But your levels of concern peaked when you left your apartment for team board game night. The whole team put on their fanciest pajamas, brought their favorite snacks and drinks, and gathered to play all their favorite games. Immediately the whole group asked you where Steve was, you shrugged it off and assumed that maybe he was still getting some work done and he would join as soon as he was done.

Two rounds of mancala, and a painfully long round of catan, you couldn't ignore the lack of Steve any longer. Politely excusing yourself, you made your way through the compound in your matching pajama set, socks, and ugg slippers to Steve's office just to open the door and find it empty. Making it all the way back to the Avengers sector, you quietly knocked on Steve's door before entering his apartment.

He looked like a deer in headlights as you entered his living room while he scrambled to wipe freshly fallen tears off his face to further pretend like everything was still fine.

Though you've gotten pretty close, you've never really seen him cry before. In an instant your heart nearly strained itself to death as it felt like the saddest sight you've ever seen, the you wondered if this is how he felt every time he saw tears on your cheeks.

"Oh, sweet boy." You pouted walking towards him, no longer interested in giant jenga.

"Sorry," He sniffled, running a hand through his messy hair. "I'll be out in a few minutes, I'm just- I need a minute. You don't have to stay... you should go hang out with them."

"What's wrong, Stevie?" You sat next to him on the couch and immediately pulled him into a big hug, the kind that you never want to let go from. Warm, tight, comforting, and your hand cradled the back of his head while the other rubbed his back. "And don't say you're fine again because you're obviously not."

"You're so beautiful" He cried into your shoulder.

"And you're very handsome, but that doesn't fix the problem." His compliment made you giggle despite feeling sad for him. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No." He immediately shook his head before lifting it off your shoulder so he could look at your face. "Not at all. This is not your fault, I've just been having a hard week."

You sighed and looked deeply into his big ol' puppy dog eyes. "Then who do I need to beat up?"

"Violence is not the answer, sweetie."  A genuine smile reached his teary eyes.

"It could be." You proposed.

"It doesn't have to be." He reassured you. "Contrary to popular belief, I am fine. Nobody did anything bad to me. I just needed some time to process my feelings."

"Your feelings about what, Stevie?"

It took a lot of courage for Steve to be vulnerable with you. The only other time he ever let a pretty girl see him cry before was Peggy right after Bucky fell off the train, and even then, she wasn't carefully wiping tears off his cheeks and looking at him with such kind and concerned eyes. You were melting him into a pile of goo, and he couldn't even help but to feel comforted in your presence even though he usually found moments like these to be wildly uncomfortable.

"I really loved hanging out with your family. Genuinely, it was the best time I've had in a while." Steve started, setting the record straight.

But even then, your face morphed into a cringe. "Oh god, what did my Dad say to you?"

"No, nothing." Once again, you had him giggling. "Your Dad is great, and your Mom might just be an actual angel on earth. Even Jane... it's just- the way they treated me like a normal human being that night was something I haven't experienced since I got the serum. I think it's just made me miss what life was like before all of this." He motioned to his body.

Your eyes went from concerned to just sad for him.

"It's stupid" Steve shook his head, and wiped more tears off his cheeks.

"No it's not." You denied. "Everything in your life changed. I think craving and missing the comfort of simplicity isn't stupid at all. I'm not even two hours away from my family and some days I'm so home sick it's all I can think about. I can't even imagine what that feeling must be like for you."

Steve took a deep breath, trying really hard to regulate his emotions and ground himself. Your physical touch, and comforting words was working wonders. "Sometimes thinking back to how I used to be gives me this weird sense that this body isn't even mine. I almost felt stronger and more at home when I could barely breathe or my heart could barely handle me standing up too fast. Now I kind've feel like a baby giraffe learning how to walk for the first time." He giggled at his own analogy, earning your grin despite your sadness oh his behalf. "I know sometimes it's awkward and weird to observe from the outside but inwardly, I'm trying my best."

"I've always thought you to be incredibly graceful" You admitted. "It probably feels worse than it looks. But truthfully, I've always admired pretty much everything about you."

“You're too sweet." Steve grinned. "Like I said, I'll be fine. I just miss my Mom... and Bucky's family. His little sister was great. I also miss feeling normal, and this one park I used to go to study when I was in art school that's now an apartment building."

"Well, I know this won't fix much but if it's any consolation my family loves you and they love having you around. It's also apparent to me that they like treating you like a normal person, probably to a fault. You'll always have a place to go if you need to feel some good old fashioned family love and get away from all of this." You reminded him. "I can't promise that Luca will ever stop asking you to sign his captain America posters, but I'm sure he'll run out of unsigned ones soon enough."

"I like signing his posters." Steve sniffled with a smile.

"You know he asked me to do show and tell at his school next week?" You asked. "Not because he wants me to show something, but because he wants to show me off. The poster thing is totally normal."

"If it weren't for public scrutiny, I'd want to show you off too."

"Now you're the one that's too sweet." You grinned. "I'm sorry you're feeling so sad, Stevie. For what it's worth, I love you a lot and you'll always be normal to me."

You wrapped your arms around him again, but this time he squeezed you tighter and pulled you onto his lap just to feel you closer. The weight of you on him helped his body further relax, and he loved the way you cradled his head and kissed his temple a few times in the process of getting comfortable. It was really hard to think about the sadness when all he could feel when you were around was happy and incredibly grateful.

"I love you too" Steve's tears came to an end with his body closely squished against yours.

Your hands carefully cupped his cheeks and tilted his head to look up at you. Looking right into your big, kind eyes momentarily before you closed them and pressed your lips to his gave him uncontrollable butterflies.

They traveled all the way up and down his body as your tongue mingled with his, and his brain buzzed as his lips swelled. His heart felt just as frail as it did when he was that 90 pound kid with arrhythmia when you pulled away for air and opened your eyes again. They were still big and kind, but they were also just as dilated as his, and your heartbeat was just as fast.

But you knew better than to keep it going, you knew that no matter what happened, you'd never be comfortable going any further with Steve if he wasn't comfortable as well.

So rather than continuing to make out with him, your thumbs rubbed his cheeks, and you left kissed on his forehead, nose, and one quick one on his lips to make up for the sad loss. "I'd also like to remind you that you have a whole family right outside this door that wants to play Scrabble with you."

Steve couldn't ignore his love and deep attraction to you anymore. He was already in a state of vulnerability, and he desperately needed to keep you close to him. "I don't think I care too much about using my words right now."

That sentence was enough to turn your very controlled love and warmth into fire. An eyebrow raised in genuine surprise at his boldness. "We can use as many or as little words as you'd like, but that's up to you, Honey. You're going to have to set the pace on this one."

In an instant, his lips were right back on yours with even more fire and hunger than before. As the heat amped up, your fingers slid through his hair, and his hands slipped up the back of your shirt. You got lost in your own head for a few moments, overly conscious of the fact that he could feel the difference in texture between your skin and the huge scar on running down your spine.

Those thoughts escaped you as his hands assisted you in readjusting. Rather than sitting sideways, you threw your legs to the side of his and straddled him instead. As the lust progressed and both of your hearts were beating in rhythm, you could now feel that Steve wanted you just as bad as you wanted him, but like he said, his body sometimes didn't feel like him. You didn't feel right without reassurance that his heart and mind wanted this just as much.

It seems as though he was on the same page as you, because he pulled away slightly just to get some oxygen into what might as well have been his still asthmatic lungs considering you were making him feel that familiar sting. But he also wanted to check in on you.

"Is this what you want?" Steve asked, the ever so lovely twinkles returning to his pretty blue eyes.

You grinned and pecked his lips. "Of course this is what I want, but I want you to be sure too. I know this is important to you, and I look to you for guidance in a lot of situations. So if you think this is the right time for you, then there's no doubt for me."

Steve's hands traveled up and down your back, massaged the small of your waist, and acclimated you to his hands on your bare skin while you had this conversation. You searched his face for honesty just as deeply as he studied yours. He could tell you meant every word, but you spotted a glimpse of doubt.

"Tell me about your hesitance." You told him with a welcoming expression as your hands massaged the back of his neck.

Steve sighed and hung his head low before picking it back up again. "Sometimes I still feel awful about what I did to you. There was a point where your trust in me was at a zero percent, and I don't think i've forgiven myself enough to believe it'll ever be back at 100"

"Steve, no." Your brows furrowed, genuinely shocked by the words coming out of his mouth. "What? Thats not even remotely a concern, nor something I ever think about anymore."

"I think about it every day." He admitted, maybe too honestly. But he knew he wouldn't be able to enjoy himself if this conversation wasn't had.

"My trust in you is 110 percent." Your hands found his cheeks again, angling his head so he had no choice but to look you in the eye when you told him. "What happened that day was a mistake. It was a misunderstanding, it was bad communication between the two of us, and the result of that was really unfortunate. I was harsh because I was in a very bad situation, but I never thought any less of you for it. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and we can talk about this as many times as you need until you feel better about it. But I know you had no malicious intent."

Steve nodded in understanding. "My only hesitation right now is making sure that you're confident, and you trust me enough."

"I trust you more than I trust myself, and I mean that." You kissed him and rocked your hips forward. "If my life was on the line and I had to choose between you or myself to save it, I would choose you."

He attached his lips to yours this time. More passion, more fire, more brave roaming hands.

"And if I get to choose between board games or a night with you, I choose you." You continued between desperate kissing and heavy petting. "I'll always choose you over anything else. Besides, if you think it's impossible for me to trust you this much yet, then you must know that trust is earned and the only way to earn it is through your actions. So maybe, for you to feel better you need to give me all the more reason to trust you."

"I can't tell if you're a terrible influence or a really good one." He practically whimpered into your mouth. "I love you so much, being with you is where I’ve always felt the most comfortable.”

“Then let’s get even more comfortable with each other." You reassured him. "And I'll show you just how much of a home you can turn this body of yours into. Because I love you too, and we both deserve to be happy."

He smiled before kissing your forehead, then your lips before making his way to your jaw, down your neck into your collarbone, and the last thought you could even formulate before he captured all your senses was that even just by the way his hands held you, and his lips nipped at your collar bones was that there was a whole other side to this man that you never got to know, and you were absolutely in for it now.

And in for it you were, because even though he was all kinds of sweet, gentle, and loving, he was also incredibly sexy and attentive. Though your sexual experiences in life was pretty low, he blew everything you thought you knew out of the water. You didn’t even know it was possible for your body to feel the way that it did, or to even be as attracted to a person the way you were to Steve.

Even when all was said and done, he didn’t hesitate to hold your body close to his as you both caught your breath, exchanged affirmations and a few jokes just to hear your sweet laugh.

With his arms snug around your naked frame, and his fingers drawing shapes into your arm, he continued placing sweet kisses to the top of your head. It made you realize how the icky feeling you usually got never arrived. No regrets, no doubts, no mean voices in your head telling you that you weren’t good enough, pretty enough, or skilled enough.

It was just you, Steve, and a warmth in your heart that took over the former butterflies. There was his raspy voice rambling something to make you smile, which always worked, then there was some very comfortable silence.

An overwhelming sense of gratitude for Steve washed over you like a wave as you realized how happy and confident you felt in this very moment. No rushing to cover up, no feeling of anxiety or worry. A few months ago you could barely even imagine a word in which eating breakfast wasn’t an impossible task. Now, you were excited for the night because for once, that meant tomorrow was even closer, and tomorrow was going to be a really good day. You had no specific plans, but that was the fun part, you no longer needed a good thing to happen for you to have a good day. Tomorrow could just be, and that was good enough.

You could’ve cried right then and there, you also could’ve blamed the huge rush of hormones and endorphins for making you so emotional and gushy, but the fact of the matter was that all you could think about was how happy you are.

How happy Steve made you. How lucky you were to be excited for tomorrow.

Steve grinned when he looked down at you. Cuddled up to his side, head on his chest, absentmindedly looking at your hand that was rubbing his stomach. You traced the peaks and valleys of his muscles, completely lost in thought.

“What are you thinking about?” Steve asked quietly, his smile winding as you came back to earth and looked up at him.

You knew your deep inner thoughts might’ve brought up memories of harder times even though you were nothing but happy, and you really didn’t want to keep bringing up the past. So instead of being completely truthful, you focused on making newer, happier memories.

“Honestly?” You questioned, propping yourself up on your arm so you could see his face better and moving your hand up to his chest to draw a heart over his. “It’s just-“

“Wait now I’m scared.” Steve cut you off, causing you to giggle.

“Everyone was always so sure that sleeping with you meant better job opportunities, but it’s been almost 15 minutes now and I haven’t even been offered a promotion.” You joked, knowing he’d take it lightly.

“You’re stupid!” His belly laugh confirmed it, “You’re already at the highest rank, my dear. I don’t have anything left to offer you!”

“Damn it!” You pretended to be disappointed, big smile scrunched the corners of your eyes. “If I knew it would be this fun I would’ve done this months ago.”

“It’s a lot easier than all the training, huh?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know about that, I’m kind’ve exhausted.” You joked.

“Well, we all learn from our mistakes.” He smiled. “Now you know for next time.”

“That, we do.” You agreed, relaxing into him once more. “Maybe this really is what we should’ve been going in the training room all this time, I think it’s just as good of a work out.”

Steve gasped. “There’s cameras and windows in there!”

“Oh right, you’re very shy.” You poked his chest.

“Hey!” He caught your hand and tangled your fingers together with his. “Don’t be mean to me!”

“I’m not being mean, I think that’s very cute.” You kissed his pec. “Even cuter now that I’ve seen all of you and I know for a fact there’s absolutely nothing for you to be shy about.”

“Ooh!” He lit up. “Hey remember that one time a long time ago when I saw you naked?”

“How could I ever forget?” You laughed at his question. “Is it my turn to be scared?”

“No, I just wanted to say that I think you’re very beautiful.” He smiled. “I thought that back then too, but who was I to tell you that? So I’m telling you now to make up for it.”

“Okay that’s not so bad. Thank you, twinkles.”

“Mhm” He hummed.

More comfortable silence, more basking in his body heat and skin to skin contact.

“Do you think they’re still waiting for you to play scrabble?” You questioned quietly.

“I think they got the hint by now” Steve smiled, lifting the back of your hand to his mouth to kiss it.

Once again, silence.

“Wait…” Steve spoke. “I think I might actually have a job opportunity for you. What are you doing on May 20th?”

“Celebrating. That’s the first day of Gemini season” You recalled, amused by the serendipity.

Before you knew it, the moon said goodbye to the sun over and over again for months until Monday morning rolled around just like it always seemed to do.

Your combat boots squeezed against the floor beneath you as you walked down the hallway to the agent training room. As you walked, you caught a glimpse of your reflection in a big glass window pane. Your avengers uniform suited you more and more every time you wore it with pride, and you were even more proud that Steve was in his suit walking right behind you.

With a deep breath, you opened the door to the training room and Steve followed in behind you. You were greeted with a new batch of rookies in their agent uniforms, all standing tall in a neat, straight line.

Their eyes all on Commander Bennett as he beamed the moment you walked into the room. As unprofessional as it might have been, he couldn’t even help but to give you a hug as you approached, and you were happy to do so.

You faced the agents, Commander Bennett on your right and Steve on your left created your own line.

“Hello, Agents.” Steve greeted the line. “Congratulations on making it this far into your training.”

Your eyes scanned the line, and you couldn’t help but to remember when that used to be you, and how intimidating it felt to meet Steve for the first time.

“As you all know, this is Captain Rogers.” Bennett introduced. “But more importantly, this is Agent 306. Our newest Avenger, and the highest ranking agent to ever be trained in all of shield’s history.”

“Hi everyone.” You smiled, hoping to ease their tension. “It’s nice to meet you all. From here on out I’ll be in charge of assisting Commander Bennett in furthering your expertise and knowledge, hopefully turning you all into even better agents than the last group.”

“Though this is usually a task I take on myself,” Steve further explained. “It’s never been more apparent to me that you deserve to learn from the best of the best, and the best hands are her’s. I’ll be here to help out when you guys need it. Im here for extra support when you may need, and some extra oversight on hectic days but trust me when I say you are all very lucky that 306 agreed to this.”

If the two of you weren’t trying to hard to keep your relationship private, his words would’ve made you smile.

“We’re going to start by going down the line, and learning your names and assigned numbers.” You addressed the group again. Carefully scanning their faces, you couldn’t help but to feel pure joy in your heart when you saw a whole lot of women staring right back at you. You were hopeful, and happy knowing this experience would be so much easier for them than it was for you. “After we greet you please feel free to start warming up for your first lesson, we have about two hours together today. And three hours together for four days a week for the foreseeable future.”

“Yep, so maybe even chit chat with the people around you. Take some deep breaths, release your tension, and get to know each other, because we’re about to spend a lot of time together.” Steve agreed, happy to implement your suggestions on creating a happier and healthier work environment. “Look around at the people in this room and build the foundations of a strong, tight knit community. These are now the people you need to be looking out for. You guys live together, work together, train together, so the most important thing for you to do, is build trust.”

“This journey will be difficult, and tiring no matter how effortless you can make it look. But believe that it’ll be a lot easier if you enjoy everyone you’re on the journey with.” You agreed with Steve. “That being said, Captain Rogers and I are here to lift you up and support you through just as much as Commander Bennett, so please feel free to come to us with whatever you may need.”

“Alright, let’s get started.” Bennett ordered. “Agents, tactile formation remains until after you are greeted. Eyes forward, shoulders back.”

Steve looked at you, pride smeared all across his face. “You ready?” He held his hand up for a high five.

“Now more than ever.” You slapped your hand against his.

⋆｡°✩ The end ✩ °｡⋆

Though this is the end of the series, I’m always happy to write your requests for bug and sparkles 💞🌟

Tag list: @saranghaey @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qalijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckystevelove @rogersbarber @mybuck @dbnightingale24 @ynstark @sincerelytlh @alexakeyloveloki @mrsevans90 @smhnxdiii @claralovescaptainamerica @hisredheadedgoddess28 @bigtreefest @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

[whitexwolfxx310]

|| Why Are You Never Real ||

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Eleanor//Elena)) || Bucky x Loki Summary: In 1943, 24 year old Eleanor gets set up on a blind date with Bucky Barnes. The match is so perfect, it was written in the stars. Yes, they're soulmates. Unfortunately, HYDRA gets in the way- taking the perfect life away from the two. But what if fate was so certain, it gave them another chance to be together?

Warnings: Fluff and angst off the charts (I'm so sorry!). Some cursing- but very little.

Word Count: 5.8k A/Ns: So a few things inspired this fic; First, someone requested something similar to this about a year ago. The idea stuck with me (although it was originally about the love interest being on ice also). I can't find the message of the person who requested, so if you come across this & it was you, please let me know so I can give you credit! Second, I saw a TikTok of Bucky & Loki and I've been obsessed with bringing the two together. Last but not least, I'm one of those that is constantly blasting Sleep Token- so in combination with all of these things, the song: The Apparition was also inspiring. Let me know what you think!

1943

It was Labor Day weekend, and anybody who's anybody knows that's when the carnival came to town. Not only was it the official end to the hot New York summers, but it was an escape from everything having to do with the ongoing War. It was a reprieve for the children, to go out and experience some lighthearted fun. But mostly, the carnival lured the young adult crowd like a gullible captain to a siren in the sea.

Eleanor was twenty-four, still living comfortably at home with her parents and four younger siblings. While she helped take care of her siblings, the passive comments about how she was unmarried and reaching her prime age to start a family never failed to be brought up in daily conversations in their household. It wasn't for a lack of suitors. Plenty of men had asked her on dates, a few even so bold enough to offer marriage without so much as going for a stroll in the park. But for Eleanor, it wasn't just about picking a random man to build a life with. She dreamed of a true romance, just like the ones she would get so lost in while reading her books- and eventually starting a family out of love and not necessity or by society's regards.

While she had already made plans to meet up with her girlfriends on Saturday night at the carnival, her mother had a different idea- A blind date.

Eleanor had intriguingly spent the afternoon with her hair in curlers and ironing her favorite yellow summer dress, the one with white polka dots and matching heels. It would perfectly accent the slight tan she obtained from the few times she snuck to the beach on the outskirts of the city to dig her toes in the sand and lay in the scorching sun. As her typical primping time took a little longer than usual in anticipation for the blind date, Eleanor’s mind kept getting swept up in who the possible mystery man could be. Was it someone she knew? A family friend? What did he look like? Was he short or tall? Does he have a sense of humor? Sure, she of course curious if he was handsome. But that was never her main focus. Eleanor wanted someone who could make her laugh- someone that was playful and knew how to have fun. But a pretty face was definitely a bonus. Opening the front door and stepping out into the Summer’s relentless humidity, she was met with none other than Bucky Barnes- Brooklyn's most notorious flirt and former high school crush. He leaned casually against the railing of the front steps, dressed in an olive-green Class A's uniform wearing a smug smile.

"Ready for our date, Doll?" After initially closing the door in his face in a panic, Eleanor's mother pleaded with her to try and give him a chance. Rumor amongst the women on the block was that he was looking for a wife. She rambled off the typical list of how handsome he was, how he came from a good family, and the cherry on top of the guilt pie: he had just enlisted in the Army and was leaving in just a few short weeks for basic training. Who knows when he will come back home, if at all? Could one date really be so bad?

Eleanor felt nervous walking the few blocks with Bucky, exchanging formal pleasantries about how beautiful the night was and so on. But she was shy- at least, by her standards. She had always worn a big smile and never felt self-conscious about how loud she laughed, regardless of how many times people stated that it was ‘unladylike’. Because of her unapologetic mentality in refusing to conform to make herself small, it labeled her as difficult. Eleanor didn’t have many friends, but she always said: “I’d rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies,” and felt fulfilled. The people in her life that truly knew her, knew of her dreams and ambitions- and that she truly had a heart of gold. Not many others noticed, but Bucky did. He had always noticed how Eleanor could light up a room. She was the sun incarnate. So, when her mother ‘accidentally’ bumped into him on the street that morning and suggested he take her out tonight, he couldn’t refuse the idea. “So aside from enlisting,” Eleanor gestured towards his uniform with her free hand, since her other was interlocked around Bucky’s arm, “what else have you been up to since we graduated, Barnes?” She unconsciously gripped his forearm just a bit tighter, using physical touch to ground her from the unfamiliar nervousness she felt. “Sergeant Barnes,” he corrected with a grin. The pair moved from their sedentary spot in the carnival ticket line, only a few away from the booth. “Okay, Sergeant,” Eleanor reiterates, laughing to herself. “So?” she asks again, tilting her head to the side curiously and looking up at him through her lashes. “Boxed my way through art school. Then with all the boys gettin’ drafted, I just figured I’d sign up before Uncle Sam had the chance to come knockin’ on my door,” he recalled casually, but didn’t seem interested in talking about himself. Bucky’s arm disentangled with Eleanor’s, pressing his palm to the small of her lower back to coax her forward gently as the ticket line moved again. Her breath hitched slightly when he didn’t remove it right away, she eyed him up and down modestly.

His head tilted to the side, “What about you, Ellie?” his sapphire blue eyes holding her gaze, “What keeps you busy these days?”

Ellie. The nickname he uses makes her stomach drop, and they haven’t even gone on any rides yet. It’s a name he’s used off and on through school and over the years in passing. Her cheeks brighten with a new shade of light pink, breaking their fixed look at one another. Bucky takes notice and smiles fondly to himself.

“Um,” Eleanor forces herself to look back up at him, feeling at a loss for words as she tries not to focus so much on his beautiful smile- On how his slightly parted lips show the smallest hint of his white teeth. She didn’t think she’d be on a date tonight, let alone with someone that she’d been smitten with since grade school.

“I um,” her words were failing her for the first time ever, “I teach at the elementary school.” She hesitates a moment, before taking a breath and says, “to be honest, I’ve been waiting to get pulled into one of the factories.” Her voice now has a hint of sadness. Ellie quickly tries to deflect the subject, “Plus my brothers and sisters keep me pretty busy.” “Ah,” Bucky’s smile grows wider as his head tilts back at the recollection, also taking the hint, “and how are the little scoundrels?” Ellie laughs, thankful to have the relief of talking about herself put off. She shakes her head, “Still terrorizing anyone and everyone.” “Next!” Bucky reluctantly pulls his attention away from Ellie to step up to the ticket booth. “Two please,” he answers politely. As the worker counts his change, Bucky’s eyes couldn’t help but admire Ellie from head to toe. How she pointed one foot inward and fiddled with her fingers as she waited patiently with an imminent smile- admiring the sights and sounds of the fair around her. She was truly breathtaking.

There was no short supply of local attractive women. Bucky had dated plenty of them, and even more had shared his bed. They had always flocked to him, like a moth to a flame. It was a great stroke to his ego, but he was never taken with any of them. And none of them would have slammed a door in his face at the mere sight of him. Ellie though? She was something else entirely. He was always interested in what she had to say. The stories she told always captivated him and made him laugh. Being around her was easy and never forced. Even when they were kids, he found himself stealing glances and daydreaming about her. He had to make tonight mean something.

As Bucky had promised himself, he pulled out all the stops to impress Ellie. It wasn’t long before she eased back into her normal self, although she couldn’t ignore the butterflies constantly flittering along the lining of her belly. The two spent hours walking around the carnival, sharing treats like cotton candy and the biggest, most delicious cannoli they had ever had. Bucky learned fast, and kept suggesting riding the bigger rides, because he selfishly loved it when Ellie clung onto him when she got scared. And Ellie, never being one to back down, always said yes. Ellie eventually convinced Bucky to take a break from riding the tilt-a-whirl back-to-back after threatening him with seeing the pink cotton candy to make an appearance again. He reluctantly conceded, knowing that he would be missing her reaching out and holding onto him. He suggested they play some carnival games until she felt better. And from the way Ellie’s eyes lit up with excitement, Bucky knew it was a promising idea.

In the meantime, they threw darts to pop balloons, a few several types of ball toss, and a horse racing game. Bucky even got to show off his marksmanship at a rifle target booth, winning Ellie a brown teddy bear that she proudly carried around with her for the entirety of the evening. But the best part was the way they cheered each other on with every game. Bucky’s heart swelled each time he won, and Ellie would jump up and down in excitement for him. Even with the playful competitive banter back and forth, neither of them felt a bitter loss. It was starting to get late, and the fair would be shutting down soon. The only ride the two hadn’t ridden yet was the Ferris wheel. Saving the best for last. Standing in a decently extensive line, the pair continued on with the tradition of the night: sharing belly laugh filled stories about dates gone horribly wrong and glances that lingered just a little too long.

Bucky felt something being with Ellie that was completely unfamiliar. In a world that was currently plagued with such darkness, this was the first time in he didn’t know how long he didn’t feel it weigh on him. She rejuvenated his very soul. Bucky silently wished out into the universe that she felt the same about him. “Y’know Ellie, I have to admit,” Bucky tucked his hands into his pockets as he stared down at the dirt his shoe kicked up. “tonight’s been…Ellie?” As he looked up from the ground to meet those golden eyes, there was nothing. She was gone. “Ellie?” Bucky repeated, louder this time as he frantically scanned the large crowd. “Ellie!” He shouted through his funneled hands while standing on his toes. Bucky’s head was starting to spin with worst case scenarios when he suddenly caught a glimpse of her bright yellow dress. Off in a quiet corner next to the circus tent, Ellie was crouched down talking to a young boy. The boy wasn’t looking at her, but instead his head hung low as he stared at the ground, and he seemed… upset.

Although he was too far away to hear, Bucky watched the encounter intently. Ellie nodded gently as she spoke to him, gesturing with her free hand- but the boy still seemed unresponsive. A moment of silence passes between them, and then with a bright smile, Ellie holds up the brown teddy bear that Bucky had won her earlier. She makes the stuffed animal dance, wave its arms, and boop the boy on his nose- finally getting his attention and smile. Then she holds the bear out to him. Without hesitation, he snatches it into his arms and pulls it tight against his chest. The boy is now beaming and looks like he was swapped with a completely different child. He hugs Ellie before running off to another group of children, holding up and showing off the bear while they all exclaimed how lucky he was. Ellie smiled and waved as the boy ran off, remaining crouched down on the ground for a moment even after being alone. Standing up as she brushed off her dress and watched the boy, her expression changed to one with a sorrowful undertone as the boy and his friends ran off. Turning to walk back to the Ferris wheel line, her honey brown eyes locked with Bucky’s. Just the sight of him waiting on her, standing online looking tall, broad, and handsome in that uniform watching her made her cheeks blush and a small smile tug on her lips.

From Bucky’s point of view, time seemed to move in slow motion. The bottom of Ellie’s dress flowed out with each sway of her hips. Her curls gently bounced with each graceful step, despite the uneven fairgrounds. He forgot how to breathe the closer she approached.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Sarge.” Ellie says apologetically, joining Bucky back in the line. “It’s alright,” Bucky’s voice is soft from his throat being dry. The feeling is suddenly overwhelming, his hand has laid dormant for too long. Taking the risk of not being on a ride, he wraps his arm around her shoulders. “Everything okay?” Leaning her body into his, Ellie sighs, “that was one of my students. He got the news earlier this week that his father died in the war. Left behind a wife and three kids… I just-” taking in a deep breath to try and calm herself, she shakes her head, “I know we’ve heard this story a hundred times before, Buck. It just never gets any easier. And I’m so sorry about the bear. I just got caught up in wanting to make him feel better that I just, I-” it was obvious that her heart hurt for the boy as her voice started to crack as she rambled.

She was right, it never got easier to hear these stories. And it always hit that much closer to home when it was someone you knew that was affected. Bucky was unsure if it was the story of the boy, or seeing Ellie’s act of compassion, but there was an undeniable gnawing in his chest as well. “Hey…” he cooed gently, cupping her chin between his thumb and pointer finger, coaxing her to look at him. Ellie tilted her head, though reluctant to look into Bucky’s eyes. But when she did, she found those cerulean irises filled with an unfeigned understanding as he leaned in close, “just means I get to take you out again for a chance to win another one, doll.” Her breath hitched again, at both the close proximity and the idea of another date with Bucky. Her eyes drifted down to his lips briefly before she met his gaze once again. Instinctively, Ellie started to lean in closer- not caring who was around to witness her kiss Bucky Barnes in public.

Bucky mirrored Ellie’s motions, his tongue gently flicking against his lips as he leaned in also when- “Next!” The carnival worker called. The disappointment was evident on Bucky’s face as his lips clenched into a thin line and his eyes closed tightly. Ellie though, was the opposite. She grabbed Bucky’s hand, “C’mon, Sergeant!” she giggled, dragging him onto the ride. Yet again, her smile was contagious, and he immediately gave in. Settling into their car on the Ferris wheel, it quickly jerked and rocked as it started to spin. Ellie threw her arms straight up into the air, squealing in pure excitement. And Bucky watched- Watched as the wonder sparkled in Ellie’s eyes, how the glow of the fair’s lights accentuated her already mesmerizing features, but mainly, he was dying to know if those lips tasted like the most perfect red delicious apple since they were painted exactly like one.

“Anybody ever tell you that you have a staring problem, Sarge?” Bucky had to blink a couple of times to focus. The Ferris wheel car had stopped at the very top, Ellie had her chin propped on her fist, smiling up at him through her lashes. He shook his head, “I was just thinking,” Bucky moved in a little closer, reaching his arm around Ellie’s shoulders, “that you are the most fascinating woman I have ever met.” “He’s lost in a memory…” Ellie’s cheeks blushed, but she rolled her eyes, “oh stop. I bet that’s something you say to all the girls.” Fireworks started firing off into the sky, mirroring the evident spark between the two. “I don’t care what the hell has to be done! Get him out of it! Scramble him again if you have to!” Bucky’s nose scrunches as he smiles, his head tilted up slightly to look down at her, “no, no. My pickup lines are usually waaay cheesier.” He and Ellie both laugh in unison, muffled by the occasional loud pops of the fireworks. But the pair refused to look away from one another.

“But sir-” Leaning in, Bucky breathes in both the mixed carnival aromas and the beautiful floral scent that is Ellie’s perfume. Her eyes flutter close as her lips purse towards his- “I. Don’t. CARE! Do it! NOW!” [2013] Bucky is met with a swift, vigorous slap to the face. Blinking rapidly, his eyes painfully adjust to the fluorescent lights in the room. Once focused, he finds numerous pairs of hard eyes staring down at him. Bucky sheepishly looks down at his bare chest, flexing painfully against the tight restraints of his chair. The realization that it was in fact not 1943 and not his first date with Ellie was quickly confirmed by the surrounding HYDRA agents, all staring at him like he was some wild animal waiting to snap and tear through a village.

Although in retrospect, he may have done that once or twice. And secretly, he never minded having HYDRA blood on his hands. If that wasn’t confirmation enough, the skin on his left shoulder was taut- the built-up scar tissue irritated from the roughened edges of his metal arm. God, how he hated that fucking thing. Sure, getting used to any kind of prosthetic takes time to accept- if at all. But this was used with the sole purpose of turning Bucky into a weapon, and for that reason, he hated it and everything it stood for. At least, when he could remember. Which is why he was always restrained. Which is why he was brainwashed over and over again until he forgot his name. Which is why he was thrown on ice when he wasn’t of use, so they didn’t have to hear his endless screaming as he tore and ripped at the skin, praying it would be tarnished enough that they couldn’t make him a new arm. But they always made him a new arm.

Alexander Pierce stepped out from between a few of the agents, clad in an expensive gray suit that stood out against the sea of all black military grade HYDRA uniforms. “Where’d you go?” he asked nonchalantly, shoving his hands into his pockets. It’s not like he was genuinely curious about anything that didn’t pertain to his own interests. Bucky’s brow furrowed, his eyes glancing briefly in Pierce’s direction before looking down again, “n-nowhere…” he replied apprehensively, always cautious about giving personal details when he remembered them. Pierce huffed sarcastically under his breath. A smirk tugged on his lips as his eyes narrowed on Bucky, “wipe him,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, “we’ll start fresh again tomorrow.” He wasn’t even fully done speaking before he spun on the heels of his dress shoes and was out the door.

The mechanical whirring from the machines surrounding Bucky’s now reclined chair grew antagonizingly loud. He could feel his lips uncontrollably twitch- and it took everything within his remaining willpower not to snarl as he reluctantly accepted the mouth guard the agent forced onto his teeth. Bucky’s chest already glistened with sweat as it heaved deeply, anxious for what was to come. His eyes widened at the sight of the all too familiar chrome halo that soon clasped securely around his head. He braced himself for the pain of his mind feeling like it was on literal fire by breathing around the mouthpiece and digging his heels. At least today, he remembered Ellie. Bucky just focused on the pure, rare beauty that she was sitting on top of the Ferris wheel that night- smiling at him like he was the only man in the world. Until it all went black. [Present Day]

He wasn’t sure if it was the sounds of his own screams or flailing around in his sleep that woke him from his nightmare. Or rather, memory. Bucky sat upright from the living room floor, tangled up in his blanket. His eyes traced the room, taking in the primarily dark apartment aside from the faint glow of the television. He felt hot, despite only sleeping in his boxers and his skin shining with a thick layer of sweat. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, even though he desperately took in quick, ragged breaths. Bucky felt so lost, even though he had been found. Even with being free of HYDRA and breaking from the control that anyone could have over him after spending time in Wakanda, he didn’t feel as though anyone truly knew him. Hell, he wasn’t even sure who he was after it all was stripped away. The only people who understood Bucky were Steve and Ellie, and they’re both gone. A small ‘meow’ came from Bucky’s side, making her presence known before gently rubbing her head against his thigh. Well, maybe there was one who understood him.

Letting out the pent-up air in his lungs, Bucky picked up the petite white cat and cradled her against his chest, “Sorry, pretty girl,” he actively softened his voice, “did I wake you?” He gently ran his hand over her head and down her neck, immediately pulling purrs from Alpine. He sighed to himself but continued to concentrate on petting her as his accelerated heart rate started to come back down. Alpine’s purrs grew louder as she started making biscuits against his thighs, making herself nice and comfy before drifting to sleep in his lap. At least one of us will be able to sleep tonight.

As expected, he didn’t fall back asleep. Instead, Bucky replayed the distant clashing memories over and over in his head until the sun started peeking through the windows. At the break of dawn, he jumped into the shower in hopes of washing the night away. As Bucky stood in the shower, letting the tiny streams of water encase around him, he realized just how much he missed his old life. That version of him and how often his mind drifted to a time where he used to belong. In that moment, he decided he was going to use today to go to his old stomping grounds, reminisce and allow himself to truly grieve that part of his life.

Throwing on a pair of dark wash jeans, a grey T-shirt and a black leather jacket, Bucky locked the door to his apartment and made his way through The Compound. Leaning against the wall near the entrance was Loki, seemingly keeping to himself. He noticed Bucky though as soon as he stalked into view. His skin looked pale, his blue eyes dull and lifeless above the prominent dark circles underneath. Bucky’s nightmares and lack of sleep were something that the team was all too familiar with. They each collectively had their own demons that haunted dark rooms and spoke through the walls in the lonely hours late at night. “Isn’t it just a tad early,” Loki stood to his full height, “to seem this aloof already, James?” Bucky regarded Loki as he kept walking. “Yeah,” his earnest tone matching his gloomy mood as the door automatically opened.

The bright, warm sun was a stark contrast to the cold, dark night that Bucky just had.

Standing at the edge of a small, curved road in the park that overlooked the Brooklyn Bridge, Bucky took in all the sights and sounds. It was strange to him how much the city had evolved and yet, some things were still the same. People passed, not paying him any mind. Friends gossiped over their morning coffee on a nearby bench, the runners attempted to get that last mile in before the day got too hot, couples walked by holding hands, and families pushed large strollers with smiley babies. It all sounded the same, but nothing was as it used to be. The intrusive thoughts felt heavier today as he continued to watch and take it all in, reminiscing about the times he and Steve used to drink beers at the bottom of that very bridge. Or rather, Bucky would try and convince Steve to drink. But he never did. Bucky and his sister used to play in this very park- though it looks different now. It sometimes was still difficult to differentiate what was a memory or a daydream he had conjured up to disassociate.

"Vader!" If he squinted his eyes just enough, he could see where his family's old town home used to stand in the distance before it was bulldozed down. "No! Don't- You're going to make me-" The sound of a heavy thud made Bucky look over his shoulder. On the ground a few feet behind him was a small cardboard box with the top cut off, lying on its side. Scattered all around and halfway in the box, was an assortment of wildflowers. "Damn it, Vader!" An annoyed voice grumbled before sighing heavily.

Giving the apparent mess a once over, Bucky breathed deeply through his nostrils before turning around and taking a knee- putting the box right side up before starting to subtly pick up the flowers. "Sit!" The sound of nails scratching against the asphalt came to a stop, only to be replaced with heavy panting. Bucky glanced over briefly to see a rather large German Shepherd watching proudly as he picked up the flowers. "God, thank you so much for your help! I'm just having one of those days. No thanks to this one here either." The woman's voice sounded slightly exasperated.

"No problem," Bucky replied, trying to look up but the sun blared straight into his eyes, momentarily blocking the person with whom he was speaking. After picking up the last few flowers, he tossed them into the box as he stood up. His height gave him the advantage of no longer having the sun in his face and he finally was able to see the person he's been interacting with. Bucky stops breathing- eyes widening in disbelief. Eleanor. It was her, and yet it wasn't. Her skin was evenly tanned, her golden hair long with a slight wave to it framing her face, dressed in matching yoga pants and sports tank as she clung tightly to the dog’s leash to keep him in place. "I spent my whole morning picking those," she gestured towards the box, "and this lunatic has been dragging me everywhere in between," she explains, embarrassed. Bucky is still staring, just blinking occasionally, skeptical that this is real.

Clearing her throat softly at what she perceived to be awkwardness, she picks up the box. "Thanks again!" she remarked politely, starting to turn away to leave. "W-what-" Bucky started, causing her to hesitate. He took a small step forward, "are those for?" he pointed to the box. It was the first thing that came to his mind, he had to keep her there for just a little while longer. He needed to know more. Smiling as she turned back to face him, Bucky's stomach twisted. It's the same smile. "I'm a teacher and anytime I'm here I grab some for my students," she shrugged nonchalantly. "I can usually come up with some kind of craft or whatever to make use of them." "You're a teacher?" "Mhm! Elementary." Down to the same damned occupation. "You... come here often? With your dog?" Bucky awkwardly motioned towards the German Shepherd. "Oh, um... Well," She laughed. Oh no. He feared that his question made her uncomfortable. "This is Vader," she runs her hand over the dog's head a few times, "but he's not mine. Just watching him for some friends while they're away."

Bucky looks over Vader, the corner of his lips tugging into a small smile before fixating on the woman again. "I'm sorry, " she starts, her eyes narrowing slightly as her head tilts in inquisition, "but do I know you? You just look so familiar..." He swallowed the large lump in his throat, "Uh, no? Nope, I don't think so." "Huh," she muttered to herself, continually examining his blue eyes. Clearing her throat, she holds out her hand "I'm Elena, but my friends call me Ellie." Taking her petite hand in his gloved one, he carefully shakes her hand. "Ellie," Bucky repeats, incredulously. "James, but my friends call me Bucky." "Bucky." Elena mirrors his tone. Her eyes drift down to his chest momentarily, spotting his dog tags. "And you're military?" A small snort escapes as he grins, "former Sergeant in the 107th." "Interesting," Ellie responded, continuing to search his crystal blue eyes as if it would magically reveal as to why she felt magnetized by this man's presence. Looking down, Bucky realized they were still holding onto one another's hand. His eyebrows raised, an amused smile eclipsing his former expression. The pair chuckled once, letting go. "Well," Ellie said, fidgeting with the dog leash in her hands, "It was nice meeting you. Thanks again," her voice sheepish as she shifted the cardboard box under her arm. "Nice meeting you too, Ellie," Bucky agreed. There was something about the way he said her name, how smoothly it rolled off his tongue that just felt so... intimate. Like he did in fact know her. That there was a secret between them that she was dying to know. Giving him a hopeful smile, she turned to walk away- Vader following at her side, "Hope to see you around, Sergeant!" Ellie called over her shoulder, giving a small wave.

Bucky watched Elena walking away, left utterly astounded by the interaction that had just occurred. Two images from two separate times seemed to overlap- Ellie from today, and Ellie with the tight curls and red lips in the yellow polka dot dress. A form of Deja vu. But one thing was for sure, he made it his mission to see her again.

Later that evening at The Compound, Bucky stood at the counter in the kitchen holding a small drinking glass filled with ice and whiskey. The recent encounter from this morning consumed him and all of his thoughts. Which is why he didn’t notice Loki casually walk into the kitchen as well. Loki found this to be peculiar, since Bucky was the type to at least give an acknowledging scowl. “Penny for your thoughts?” Loki inquired, his voice low. Bucky swirled the ice in the glass before peeking up at him, “I had something… strange happen to me today.” “Oh?” “I uh-” Bucky sighed, putting the glass down a little harder than intended. “I swear I bumped into someone from my past. But it makes no sense. She would have to be, what? Over a hundred years old? It was her but it wasn’t her.” His hands expressed the bafflement he felt through their motions.

“You’re over a hundred, James.” Loki reminded. Bucky’s eyes narrowed, “yeah, I know.” He asserted. “But this was different. I don’t know how to explain it.” “Hmm.” Loki hummed to himself, looking over Bucky. Taking a step forward, extending out his hand out, “show me.” “Show you?” Bucky retorted, disgruntled by the question. “And just how would I do that?” Loki grinned, “I was raised by Witches, boy. There are many things I can see that people don’t understand.” Without waiting for an answer, Loki took Bucky’s flesh hand and pressed it flat between his. “What are you-” “Shh!” Loki planted his feet firmly, looking into Bucky’s eyes- which widened with concern. What would Loki see looking into his mind? His memories? Would he recount the same faces and what he’d done to them that haunt Bucky every single night? He suddenly felt overwhelmed with anxiety. Bucky stared back at Loki- his normal cobalt blue eyes started to glow a bright green. “Ah,” Loki breathed, “found it.” Flashbacks of today as well as the carnival shared between the two as a birds-eye view, like watching Bucky’s memories as if they were a movie. “Tell me, James,” Loki smirked while watching the images, “do you know what reincarnation is?” “What? Like being born again?” Bucky spat, feeling ridiculous. Loki laughed, “I’m afraid it’s much more in depth than people think.” Bucky raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain further. “Rare is it that one is given such an opportunity.” Loki breathed, astounded.

Rolling his eyes, Bucky sighs, “What the fuck are you even trying to say here, Loki?” “I’m saying,” he kept his voice low, trying to maintain patience, “that this universe somehow deemed you worthy of a second chance… with your soulmate.” “Soulmate?!” Bucky’s voice was loud, incredulous. “I haven’t seen this before,” Loki answered, fascinated at the scenes playing before them, “A soul brought back in the same lifetime to make up for time lost. Destiny can be a finicky thing.” “You’re saying that we were meant to be together all those years ago?” Bucky swallowed hard, his stomach twisting inward on itself. “Yes. And decisions made that weren’t your own affected that outcome. You’ve been given the opportunity to actually live out your true fate.” The eerie green glow faded from Bucky’s eyes as Loki pulled his hands away. He saw many things but decided to only show Bucky what pertained to this conversation. The screams already a sound he knew he wouldn’t forget anytime soon. The two always had a mutual understanding of each other. They typically got along, more so than the rest of the team. Their history often left preconceived tension with people, but they never judged one another. Just themselves. “So,” Bucky scratched the back of his head, “what do I do now?” “You, my friend,” Loki gripped Bucky’s shoulder, “go get a happy ending.”

If you enjoyed this, please check out my Masterlist. Requests are open!

@peaches1958 @aquabrie @elsie-bells @pono-pura-vida @redbloodedgurl @almosttoopizza @beware-my-thorns @prettylittlepluviophile @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny @calwitch @ozwriterchick @roofwitty779 @lessersole @lil-darhk @agoddoesnotplead @saranghaey @erinallene @mrsvxder @elizabeth916 @cjand10 @bucky-barnes-lover @wintrsoldrluvr @skulliecadaver-blog

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Fluffcember Day 4 | The softest pillow

Pairing | Boyfriend!Sebastian Stan x Girlfriend!Fem!Reader

Word count | 4.1K

Summary | You've been dating Sebastian for over five months, and he has invited you to spend the night at his house for the first time. He has planned a comfortable and romantic night for you both, and you've never had more fun staying at home than you did with him.

Warning(s) | Established relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend), use of pet name (Sweetheart), small age gap (~ 7-8 years).

Smut | Oral ~ M receiving, throat fucking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), creampie, lots of praise, hair pulling, dirty talk, Daddy kink, cockwarming.

Rating Explicit (E)

Request | @buckys-wintersoldier Hey, my lovely big me💞 Listen to me, I'm sure you will love that or I hope you will. You can decide the character you want to use for this one, but could you write a fluffy oneshot that includes these sentences: 1. "No, you can't get up! You're my prisoner for today." (I'm so in love with this one, I found this and now I'm in love) 2. "I remember practising how to ask you out in a mirror." I know they don't fit that well, but I'm pretty sure you will make a wonderful oneshot out of it. Hehe. Thank you in advance, and I love you, big me. 💞

A/n | This one-shot it written for day 4 of my Fluffcember 2023 Challenge. Thank you so much for this sweet request, and I am glad I found the perfect prompt for your challenge! 😉 I want to give a big thank you to @ccbsrmsf1 for proofreading this as always 🎄

Events Masterlist | ''You're my new pillow'' | @buckys-wintersoldier Masterlist | Holding hands | @anyfandomkinkbingo

Banners by @vase-of-lilies | Divider by @firefly-graphics | GIF credit to the owner

Main Masterlist | Sebastian Stan Masterlist

Dating Sebastian has been a true rollercoaster of emotions for you, but only in the best way possible. From you meeting him during an interview a little over a year ago to him asking you to be his girlfriend, it was like a fairytale.

Today is the day you're about to interview the cast of a new movie called The Martian - and today, of all days, will be the moment that you're going to be interviewing Sebastian Stan, your celebrity crush for the last few years.

It will be an absolute dream come true, and you've been endlessly preparing so you can conduct the interview of your life. And not just to impress Sebastian.

The black dress you've wanted to wear is hanging in your closet, ready to be put on, but you pick out some black lingerie before you can do that. It's not like anyone will see it, but the confidence boost it gives you is indescribable.

When you have the lacey fabric on, you admire yourself in the mirror for a few minutes before getting dressed and doing your hair and makeup.

Your hair is in loose curls and up in a ponytail, with a few loose pieces framing your face, and your eye makeup is simple, but the dark lipstick you put on gives your look an exciting edge.

Now, all that's left is to read over your interview questions a few more times and make a few last adjustments before it's officially time to go to your interview.

It's good that you've gotten into the habit of arriving early everywhere you go, and you've arrived about 20 minutes early so you take the time to freshen up in the bathroom.

You don't anticipate anyone walking by when you walk out, and you accidentally bump into a broad chest. You let out a squeal when a pair of strong arms envelop you.

"Woah! Careful there, Sweetheart," the man says with a chuckle, and your eyes snap up to see who the voice belongs to. It is just your luck that you bump into none other than Sebastian, and you're glad he caught you before you could fall.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to run into you!" You tell him as he lets you go, but he gives you a reassuring smile.

"It's okay, Sweetheart. It's not every day that someone as beautiful as you bumps into me," he tells you with a dashing smile, making the butterflies you feel in your stomach wild.

When it's time for the interview, Sebastian recognizes you and lets his gaze wander over your body and long, exposed legs a few times. He can't get enough of looking at you.

The interview is over far too soon for the both of you and just when you're about to pack up your stuff and go home to work out the interview, Sebastian stops you.

"I hope I'm not overstepping here, but would you mind grabbing a coffee sometime? If you're from around here, that is," he says, suddenly getting a little shy.

"Well, I'm out here for work until tomorrow morning, but once you're back in New York, I'd love to take you up on your offer since I live there," you tell him, and you can't help but smile.

The thought of Sebastian asking you out makes the butterflies go crazy, and when you see the relief washing over him, you know you made the right choice by saying yes.

"Let me give you my number, and you can text me when you're back in New York if you still want to grab a coffee, of course," you tell him, and he nods furiously before grabbing his phone and letting you put your phone number in it.

"I have to go now, but it was lovely to meet you, and I can't wait to grab a coffee with you when we're home," he says, and he bends down to place a soft kiss on your cheek, his stubble tickling you a little bit.

Little did you know it would be the start of a great friendship and one of the most loving relationships you've ever built with someone. It was your first Christmas together that would change the dynamic, however.

"Do you want to spend Christmas together this year? If you don't plan to go home, of course," Sebastian asks you during your weekly video call.

He's away to film another Marvel movie, but Christmas will be spent back in New York, which is perfect timing for both of you. You haven't seen him for the last three months, and even though it's nice to video call, you miss his hugs, smiles, and touches. You miss him.

"I would love to, but only if you're cooking dinner for me because the lord knows if I do it, there won't be anything to eat for us that evening!" you joke, and Sebastian laughs wholeheartedly, which makes your heart skip a beat or two.

Your crush on him has only intensified over the last year, and he has developed feelings for you as well, but with his busy shooting schedule, you don't see each other as much as you'd like.

Sebastian plans to make it extra special this Christmas and wants to spend the holiday with you. He's been planning on telling you how he feels for a while, and it will be the perfect opportunity to do just that.

"Of course, I'll cook; I'd rather not starve on Christmas, thank you very much!" he quips back, and you shake your head, chuckling at his comment.

It promises to be the most memorable Christmas you have ever spent, and you're glad you don't have to celebrate it alone this year. With your parents living on the other side of the world, seeing them over Christmas is not an option, so you usually take some time off, read a book or two, and relax.

"In that case, I'll gladly celebrate Christmas with you, Sebastian. I can't wait," you tell him, and the weeks leading up to it felt like they flew by.

It is the day before Christmas when Sebastian arrives in New York, and you've offered to pick him up from the airport, which he gladly accepted.

"Hi, Sweetheart," he says as he walks out the doors after baggage claim, hauling a suitcase behind him and a backpack over his shoulders. He's been filming in California for a while, so he has a healthy glow all over his face, making him look stunning.

"I can't believe we're spending Christmas together; it's a big step from having to spend it alone," you tell him softly, getting a little embarrassed that you just admitted to him that you're usually alone on the happiest time of the year.

"Wait, you're always alone on Christmas?! I'm glad I offered to spend it together! Can't have my best girl being alone during the holidays now, can I?" Sebastian asks, and you nod in agreement.

You didn't miss how he called you his best girl, and it made your cheeks heat up, which didn't go unnoticed by Sebastian. You both have this effect on one another, and you wouldn't change it for anything.

The next day, Sebastian rings your doorbell a little after noon, and you've opted to wear a Christmas-themed sweater. When you open the door, you find Sebastian with a Christmas sweater and a present under his arm.

"You look gorgeous today, Sweetheart," Sebastian tells you as he pulls you into his side and kisses your cheek softly. It has yours heating up instantly, and you're feeling very fortunate to have someone as sweet as him by your side today.

The afternoon is spent preparing dinner, drinking hot cocoa, and watching Home Alone, an absolute Christmas classic. When you think this day couldn't be any more perfect, Sebastian whips out an envelope and hands it to you.

I wrote this for you, and I'm sorry if it's a little cheesy, but I figured I go big or go home, and I'd rather not go home, so..." he says, a deep red blush taking over his cheeks and neck as he hands you the envelope.

It's a light pink envelope with your name in his handwriting, and you pull open the envelope to find a small letter inside.

Sweetheart,

The past year, you have shown me what it is like to live life to the fullest, no matter what life throws your way. Meeting you has also brought me immense joy; because of that, I want to ask you something.

Will you do me the honor of making me the happiest guy on earth and be my girlfriend?

~ Sebastian

When you finish reading the little note, you slap your hand over your mouth out of excitement and practically fling yourself into his arms as you pull him close.

"I'd love to be your girlfriend, Sebastian."

His hand cups your cheek before he pulls you in for a soft, sweet kiss. Even though it's not the first you've shared with him, it is by far the most special one, and it is the cherry on top of the Christmas cake.

Today will be your first time staying at Sebastian's house; honestly, the nerves are starting to kick in. He's seen your place a few times and slept there, but this is quite a step outside your comfort zone.

In your home, it's precisely how you like it and where you feel most comfortable, and you've discussed this with Sebastian. He is a true sweetheart because he has repeatedly reassured you that it's okay and you can sleep at home if you don't feel comfortable.

Your outfit has been laid out and ready to go for the last two days, and you can't wait to put it on and officially make your way to see Sebastian because you've missed him a lot.

Between his filming schedule and you flying all over the country to do more interviews, you have little time to see one another, but now that the universe is finally letting you be together, you want to look your absolute best.

After a shower and a thorough grooming session, you're putting your hair into two space buns with a few loose strands framing your face, and your makeup is very natural.

When your outfit is on, and your overnight bag is packed, you text Sebastian to tell him you're about to leave since it's still a 45-minute drive to his house, especially with the New York traffic.

Your work bag is also coming since you'll head straight to work the following day. It's a good thing he lives close to your office because that gives you more time to cuddle up to him, which is one of your favorite things to do in the morning.

What you didn't know, however, is that Sebastian has been preparing for your arrival. Not just by making sure his house is spotless but also by putting a little ''welcome home'' package together for you.

When he's about to step into the shower, he hears his phone go off, and when your name appears on his screen, he gets a wide grin, and his mood is instantly lifted.

''Can't wait to see you soon, Sweetheart,'' he says to no one, and he hops into the shower to prepare for your arrival. His place is spotless, there are clean sheets on the bed, and the care package is waiting on the kitchen island, ready to be unpacked by you.

He went above and beyond by choosing out a pair of the fuzziest socks he could find, as well as a big box of your favorite tea and a cute mug with it, a book from your wishlist you can leave at his place, and a bag of your favorite sweet treats to finish it.

He also has a small black box waiting for later, but that would have to wait until you two are comfortable on the couch because he wants to save it for a special moment.

When he's done in the shower, he quickly dries his hair and puts on a simple outfit before spraying his cologne. Now, he's ready to welcome you at his house and getting nervous because he's unsure if you will like it.

He grabbed the little box he was planning on giving you later and flipped open the top one last time as he looked at its contents. It shines beautifully in the sunlight, illuminating the room through the large windows.

With a small sigh, he shuts the box and puts it in one of the side table drawers next to his couch. It's all he can think about now, but before he can think about it too long, his doorbell rings, notifying him of your arrival.

He jogs to the door, and when he's there, he straightens out his long, dark brown locks and clothing one last time before swinging open the door and welcoming you inside.

''Sweetheart, I'm so glad you made it,'' he tells you as he pulls you in for a hug, and you instantly melt into his embrace.

''Missed you,'' you tell him, though it's muffled by the jacket he's wearing, and it only makes Sebastian chuckle.

''What did you say, Sweetheart? I don't think I got what you said just now,'' he tells you, and you reluctantly pull out of his hold so you can tell him again how much you've missed him.

''I missed you, but I'm thrilled to see you again,'' you tell him, pulling him closer so you can kiss him properly. Your lips fit perfectly with his, and it lights a fire inside of you that instantly makes you want more.

He takes your bottom lip between his teeth and nibbles softly before letting go with a soft moan. It was all just a plan to tease you a little so he could make the rest of the night unforgettable.

Your eyes are half-lidded as you look at him in anticipation, but instead of giving you what you're looking for, he pulls you into his house, closing the door behind you.

''I got you something to welcome you into my home and hopefully make it our home,'' he tells you as he interlaces his fingers with yours. He steps to the side to reveal the little basket on the kitchen island when you're in the kitchen.

''I-Is this for me? You didn't have to do that!'' you tell him, though your curiosity takes over, and you can't resist a peek inside the basket.

You take out everything and look at it, especially the mug he bought for you that leaves you chuckling. When you pick up the book and read the back, Sebastian walks closer to you and pulls you into his chest, his arms wrapped around you and his chin leaning on your shoulder.

''I figured you could leave this here, so you will always have a few things around here that are all yours for the next time you come over,'' he tells you, and you close your eyes as a huge smile escapes.

''I'm glad I'm allowed to come back after today,'' you say as you put the book on the counter and turn into his hold, kissing him softly and slowly until Sebastian bends down and lifts you onto the kitchen island.

''Well, there's one more surprise for you, and you need to close your eyes and stay seated, alright?'' Sebastian asks, and you hum in response, so he walks to the living room and gets the small black box he was holding earlier, unable to wait any longer.

''Alright, you can open them,'' Sebastian says, and he's standing in front of you with the black box open, and your eyes are immediately pulled to the contents of it.

''I want you to have this, Sweetheart, because you already have the key to my heart, and now I want you to have the key to my house as well. I want you to be able to come and go whenever you want to since there's no one else I trust more than you.''

You take the key out of the box and look at it before closing your hand around it and stretching the other one out to take Sebastian's and pull him between your legs.

''In that case, it's only fair if I give you the key to my house as well, but only if you promise not to sneak up on me in the middle of the night because I will knock you out if you do it!'' you tell him between chuckles.

You seal your promises to one another with a kiss, and you put the key beside you on the counter before your hands slide into his hair, pulling softly, earning yourself a groan from Sebastian.

''Let's move this to the bedroom, Sweetheart, and I'll give you a tour of the house later. Right now, I need you,'' he tells you between open-mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone, your head thrown back to give him access.

He pulls you off the counter, and once you're sturdy on the floor, he whispers something in your ear that has your knees buckling underneath you.

''You'd better enjoy the walk while you still can, Sweetheart, because I'm going to make sure you won't be able to walk for the rest of the day.''

He grabs your hand and leads the way to his bedroom, and he kicks the door shut before he attaches his mouth to yours again, the kiss a clash of tongues, a fight over dominance which Sebastian wins.

You are both undressing one another and when your dress has found its way onto the floor, you're standing in front of Sebastian in your white lingerie with red hearts on it. His breath hitches as he takes it in, his large hands gliding over the soft fabric adorning your body.

''Hmm, it's too bad you're not as innocent as this fucking lingerie makes you look right now, Sweetheart. Luckily, it'll be on the floor soon anyway,'' he purrs in your ear, making you unbelievably wet.

Your long fingernails drag from his chest, over his abdomen, down to his belt, unbuckling it quickly before pulling the fabric of his jeans down. You crouch down with it before sitting on your knees, and you palm his now hard cock through his underwear.

''How about I show you just how not-so-innocent I can be with my mouth?'' you tease him, and you feel him throb in your hand. He throws his head back with a loud groan as he's getting painfully hard now.

You pull his boxers down and throw them to the side, allowing his long, veiny cock to spring free right in front of your face, the red tip already leaking a bead of precum that you happily lick off.

''Tastes so good, Daddy,'' you whine softly, and the grin on Sebastian's face is unmistakable; he's about to ruin you in every single way you can think of.

After a few more small kitten licks on his tip, you take it into your mouth and you suckle softly. And Sebastian removes both hair ties from your hair, letting it fall around your head.

''Much better, Sweetheart, that way Daddy can fuck your beautiful throat like he wants to,'' he says, and your nails dig into his thighs at the idea, making Sebastian hiss at the feeling.

While you're looking up at him with big, glassy eyes, you slowly take more of him into your mouth until your nose is pressed to his pubic bone, and you're choking around his length.

When you pull back, you take in a few deep breaths of the oxygen you have just deprived yourself of, and you smile wickedly at Sebastian, who grabs some of your hair and pushes his cock back into your mouth, needing to cum down your throat.

''Want me to fuck this throat, Sweetheart? Want me to fuck this tight, perfect throat and cum in it, make you swallow it like my perfect cumslut?'' he asks you in a slightly degrading tone, but it only serves to make you even hornier, and your cunt clenches around nothing.

You moan around him, and he takes that as confirmation he needs to start fucking your throat and chasing his high in the process. The gagging sounds you make only spur him on, and his hips are snapping at a rapid pace until he shoots his cum down your throat and over your tongue, ensuring you get every last drop.

''Fuck, you're so good for me, Sweetheart, such a good girl for Daddy.''

With your eyes half-lidded and your panties soaked, Sebastian helps you up and walks you backward to the bed until you're lying down. When you're comfortable, he takes off your bra and panties so you're entirely bare for him, and he crawls over your body.

''Let me make you feel good, Sweetheart. You deserve it after making me feel so fucking amazing; my soul left my body through my cock,'' he whispers between kisses from your stomach and your breasts up to your neck and jaw.

''Please, Daddy,'' you beg, and Sebastian's too impatient to make you wait any longer, as he needs to be buried inside you right this moment.

He lines himself up with your entrance before pushing in slowly, letting you adjust to his length before pushing in further. When he's fully sheathed inside of you, he lets out a groan, and a moan escapes your lips.

His hands find yours, and he interlaces his fingers with yours before slowly pumping in and out of you, making sure you feel every single inch, ridge, and vein inside of you.

''Hmm, I remember practicing how to ask you out in a mirror after that interview. You bumping into me that day is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me, Sweetheart,'' Sebastian confesses as he keeps his slow, almost unbearable pace the same.

''Couldn't live with the fact that I might not see you again, so I practiced, and I'm so glad it worked out, Sweetheart. I can't imagine being anywhere other than inside of your perfect, tight, soaked pussy right now. She's clenching around me, baby. Are you about to cum for Daddy?'' he asks you, and you nod; all that's leaving your mouth are moans and whines because you're so close.

''Hmm, you better cum around my cock, Sweetheart, want to cum inside this perfect pussy,'' he groans in your ear, and he lets go of your hand to rub your clit while simultaneously picking up the pace, and you lock your ankles behind around his hips.

''D-Daddy! Please, need to cum,'' you plea, and he listens because before you know it, you fall apart from the combination of his fingers and cock inside you, and Sebastian closely follows you.

Long ropes of his cum shoot into your puffy, overstimulated cunt, but he doesn't want to pull out since you're so warm and comfortable. He turns over with you in his arms, and he pulls the comforter over both of you as you snuggle into him, still buried deep inside you.

You take a short nap in his arms as you cockwarm him, and when you wake up, you feel Sebastian tracing soft, slow patterns on your back.

''Hi, Daddy,'' you whisper against his neck, and he turns to look at you.

''Hi, Sweetheart. How was your nap?'' he asks you, and you can confirm it was the best nap you've had in a long time. After you've woken up entirely, you're both taking a bath together before moving your cuddle session to the couch, and you're ordering dinner so you don't have to leave each other's sides.

Later in the evening, you're attempting to get up from the couch, but you're not allowed because Sebastian pulls you back onto the sofa, making you squeal.

''No, you can't get up! You're my prisoner for today!'' he tells you and pulls you onto his lap to attack you with many tickles, making you laugh and squirm uncontrollably.

''N-No! Please, sto-o-o-p!'' you tell him, and eventually, he does. But not after a few more surprise ones when you've caught your breath again.

When it's finally time to go to bed, you lay your head on Sebastian's chest with a soft sigh, and before you drift off to sleep, you mutter a few more words to him that have him chuckling softly.

''You're my new pillow, so I will never let you go.''

This was when he officially knew he would marry you one day because he could not live without you for another second. He wants your love and happiness around him for the rest of his life.

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Something Old, Something New

Title: Something Old, Something New

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: Nick Fowler x Reader

Fandom: The 355

Word Count: 9.5K (whoopsie)

Summary: Your childhood best friend invites you to your old vacation spot for her wedding, and you have been catching up with your first crush: her recently divorced big brother Nick.

Warnings: infidelity, divorce, recreational drug use (marijuana), drinking, mutual pining, pet names (Gumdrop, baby), praise kink, cunnilingus, unprotected p-in-v sex, mention of bodily fluids (creampie), public sex, if I forgot anything please tell me

A/N1: My tiles for @thebasementspouses VOTM Nick Fowler BINGO were: divorced, best friend’s brother, writer’s choice(prompt #802 from @creativepromptsforwriting), drunken confession, public sex. BINGO card at end of story.

A/N2: I have been working on this story for weeks and I really hope I have done the Nick Fowler fandom justice. It's my first time, and hopefully not the last time, writing for Nick. I thoroughly enjoyed writing him. Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best. 

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me

My Masterlist

Three Months Ago

The cardstock was rigid in your hands, the envelope discarded seconds ago. The confetti in the envelope litters around your Chucks as you bring your attention to the words embossed upon the invitation. You had been waiting for this day ever since you received the Save the Date announcement.

You ran your finger over the pretty lettering, its raised borders were a nice tactile touch. The peaceful pink, whispered white, and mellow merlot of the flowers against a hint of golden accents was a beautiful choice. Not too feminine, nor too masculine.

Turning the invitation over, you found more information. 

‘Accommodations will be completely covered for your 8-night stay at The Ocracoke Harbor Inn by the family of the Bride. You will be staying in the fully-furnished Treasure Chest Cottage. Amenities include full-service linens, complimentary wireless Internet, and guest boat docking. Guests have access to a sound-side beach. Password for WI-FI given upon check-in. Nonsmoking, no pets.’

Leave it to the Fowlers to go nuts and rent out the entire inn for their only daughter’s wedding, you thought to yourself. You were not surprised at all, growing up as a rich girl’s best friend had its perks.

As if on cue, your phone started to play the opening notes of Losing You by Solange to signal an incoming call. Pulling your phone out, you smiled seeing Deanne’s name. You clicked Accept and raised the phone to your ear.

“Hello to the future Mrs. Alexander!” Your cheery demeanor not letting on how jealous you were of your friend’s impending nuptials.

Euphonious laughter rings through the earpiece and you can’t help but join in.

“Girl, can you believe it? I am about to tie the knot, be off the market, and settle down. I’m only 12% nervous about everything so I’m doing great,” she snorted, and suddenly you were a bit less jealous if this kind of anxiety is what she had to deal with, “Anyway, um, I was giving you a call because I wanted to ask if you got your invitation and I also wanted to see if I could save myself time in waiting for your R.S.V.P. and bug and pester you until you agree to let my parents pay for you to come spend a week with us and come to my wedding and–”

“Deanne! Stop with the run-on sentence, doll. Did you think I was gonna pass up this opportunity? God, I love that you chose Ocracoke as your wedding destination. So many vacations were spent getting into all kinds of trouble,” you recalled, images of splashing in the water as kids and lounging on the beach as teens replayed in your mind.

“Yeah. Hey, when we were little girls planning our dream weddings, I was serious when I said I wanted it on the beach on Ocracoke Island. But not in the summer because of bugs and heat, but in the winter so we get that beautiful off-season fresh air,” Deanne mused.

“Dee, it’s gonna be gorgeous. I cannot wait to see you in your stunning dress walking down that aisle. Just know that since I am your oldest friend, you pretty much owe me the bouquet,” you laughed, only half-joking.

“As far as I’m concerned, it’s already yours,” she bantered, clearing her throat before speaking again, “So, I also called because I wanted to vent a little, if that’s okay?”

“It’s always okay. You doing alright?” you asked, now worried that your friend was in trouble.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. I have an update on Nick and Tori, though,” she paused, allowing your mind to wander.

The mention of your first crush’s name sent a shiver down your back. Many a moment had been wasted thinking about his pretty smile and grayish-blue eyes. You’d liked Nick before you knew you even liked boys. He was the heartthrob that trumped every teen dream of every other girl in America’s heart. In your mind, he was the closest to perfect you could imagine. 

You responded, “Oh?”

“So, their divorce is finalized. My big brother is officially a divorcé. I would have thought that a man who was with someone for so long might be partying it up right now. But he says he’s focusing on work and, I don’t know. I just want him to be happy. And like, he’s getting divorced as I’m getting married and it feels so weird. It doesn’t seem fair,” she lamented.

“Dee, come on. You know Nicky wouldn’t want you to think like that. He loves you. You’re his favorite sibling,” you jested, trying to lighten the mood.

“Ha ha. I’m his only sibling. I better be his favorite,” Dee chuckled, happy to be distracted, “So that brings me to you, Miss Missy. Last I heard, you were dating some engineer guy? Do I get to meet him soon?”

You inwardly cringed, hopes dashed of being able to avoid the topic of your relationship status. Things with Curtis kind of fizzled out when you found his tongue down an intern’s throat. You had been bringing him dinner since he’d complained about the late nights at the office.

Turns out he was hungry for more than your baked ziti. 

You explained all this to Dee, remembering the look on Curtis’ face when you poured the prepared food into his lap. He was so shook, it was beautiful.

“I didn’t want to waste all that food but he looked wonderful with my pasta all over his shirt and pants. He honestly deserved it. It was his favorite shirt too. I hope those stains never come out,” you huffed, feeling like you were right back in that office again.

“I have never been so proud of you. I wish I could put hot sauce in his underwear for hurting my girl. I’m sure if I just had a few minutes, I could come up with something more diabolical than that. But it’s what I have at a moment’s notice,” she retorted.

One thing you could always count on Dee for? Getting angry for you and using her beautiful and educated mind to come up with some way to make the person who slighted you pay for their misdeeds. It was both adorable and super embarrassing to have her tiny frame looking up into some bully’s face pointing her finger at them.

“Well, I appreciate your offer, but he is so not worth the energy. You have much better things to think about, like your wedding day. This is your cue to stop worrying about me, Dee,” you advised, a stern tone coloring your words.

“Fine, I will stop worrying about you out loud. You got it, girl. Anyway, I won’t hold you. Talk soon, ok? I miss you,” she said, and you could envision her getting bleary-eyed.

“I miss you too, Dee. We’ll get together soon, I promise,” you sighed, feeling guilty for letting your friendship dwindle over the years.

“I’ll hold you to it. Bye, babe,” she hummed.

“Bye.” You hang up the phone and close your eyes. Visions of what Dee will look like in her wedding dress cloud your thoughts. Little snippets of grayish-blue eyes and dark brown hair seep in and you can almost hear his laugh again. You open your eyes, blinking away the mental images that brought you joy for a moment.

‘This is fine,’ you thought to yourself. Yeah, totally. You’re only going to see your best friend from childhood get married, effectively ending your childhood with a pretty bow on top. You also were only going to be with the biggest crush you ever had for like, an entire week. 

And he’s single. 

And probably needy. 

And...you had better get your jaw up off the floor if you were going to get anything done.

Three months is enough time to get your brain, your body, and your emotions in check before you make a fool out of yourself in front of your second family.

Right?

January 20th, 2024 – Day One

Standing on the deck of the Hatteras Ferry, you watch as Ocracoke Island comes into view. The sun is at its highest and you are thankful for your sunglasses shielding the the bright sunlight bouncing off the crystal clear waters. You can taste the salty air and you are instantly transported to memories of running around the decks of this ferry with Deanne and Nick while your mothers tried in vain to wrangle you all.

The island comes into view and you search the docks for a familiar face. Dee promised to meet you at the docks, but when you approach them she is nowhere to be found. You pull your luggage behind you as your shoulder bag decides to slide off.

Before it can hit the ground, it’s caught by the strap by a strong hand at the same time you reach out to grab it. You thank the kind stranger as you both stand to your full height and you are face-to-face with a grown-ass Nicholas Fowler. He says something and you don’t hear hide nor hair of what the hell he just said, you look at him and break into a smile and he chuckles and speaks again.

“I hope you don’t mind Dee got me to pick you up. She had some wedding stuff to do. I wasn’t listening,” he explains, adjusting his sunglasses and putting your bag on his shoulder. He gestures over to his black Lamborghini Urus. 

Once you walk over, he puts your shoulder bag in the back seat. You step closer to him to hand him your rolling luggage. You are mesmerized as his strong forearms flex when he puts everything in the SUV. 

You clear your throat and look around when he looks back at you, catching you watching him. He closes the back door and guides you to the passenger side, opening your door for you.

“Oh, you’re a full-service driver today, huh?” you joke, stepping past him. Your platform espadrilles clacking on the asphalt. Adjusting your strapless sundress, you climb in.

“Whatever service you require, Gumdrop,” he replies with a smile, making sure you are comfortable before closing your door.

That fucking nickname… He would call you gumdrop instead of your name more often than not. That’s all, he didn’t mean anything by it, right?

When you are both buckled in, you start the drive across the island. Comfortable conversation is easy between you two. It’s like you fall back into a safe space with him. You talk about old vacations, funny moments, and what you both are up to these days. Neither of you mentions either of your failed relationships and you can’t keep the smile off of your face.

“Hey, we still have an hour until check-in. You wanna grab a bite or go to the beach or something?” he suggests.

“Are you sure they’re not waiting for us?” you counter, wondering if it’s a good idea to have a little moment with Nick all to yourself.

“I’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission. No pressure, just a suggestion,” he presses, taking a second to look over at you and smile that smile that has had you in a chokehold most of your life.

After thinking about it for all of five seconds, you agree to have lunch at Plum Pointe Kitchen. You enjoy a generous helping of Drunken Chicken nachos while Nick gets the VooDoo Shrimp PO’Boy. You share half of your meal, and Nick refuses to let you pay for anything.

Making your way to the Ocracoke Harbor Inn after lunch, you finally meet up with everyone. Dee is in mid-conversation with someone when she sees you and Nick pull up into the parking lot. She walks over to you and pulls you into a very tight embrace. It’s like everything was chaos before you got here.

“Oh my goodness, I am so glad you are here. How was the trip? Did you eat? Did Nick bore you? I’m sorry that I couldn’t come and meet you, but we had a little mishap with the reservation for the hotel and then I thought I left my wedding dress at home, and then we–”

You cut off Dee before she can work herself into a frenzy again, “Dee! Breathe. You’re gonna be fine, I promise. And is that Matthew? Introduce me already, would you?” you encourage, trying to get your friend’s mind off of the previous debacle and onto the man walking over.

Dee introduces you to Matthew and he charms you with the way he dotes on Dee. He seems like the type to be able to handle her rambling and intense emotions. How he looks at her while she speaks makes you miss having someone look at you like that.

“Well, it’s just about 3 o’clock now. Let’s get checked in and settled, then we can get together later?” Matthew chimes in.

“Sounds good,” Nick agrees, turning to you, “Go ahead and leave your stuff in my car. I’ll take you to your cottage after we are all checked in.” You nod, trying to hide your excitement. 

Once you are done with the receptionist, you get your key and the wifi password to your cottage. While waiting for everyone else to get done, you fiddle on your phone until Nick’s shadow looms over you. Looking up, you are greeted with his eyes no longer shielded by his sunglasses in the dim lobby.

“You ready, Gumdrop? We still have some time before Mom and Dad show up. And I think I remember Dee saying she would call when she was ready to go out,” he concludes, putting his hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was nervous about something. But you don’t push.

“All set,” you say, smiling up at him feeling bold enough to wrap your arm around his while you walk out of the lobby.

Dee shouts after you to behave yourselves and tense up a bit while Nick chuckles, seemingly amused by his sister’s thinly veiled comment on two single adults being close. Damn them.

Nick opens the passenger side door for you again, closing it once you are safely inside. He drives to the Margaritaville Cottage where he will stay with his parents during the trip. He instructs you to stay in the car while he just drops his bags off and is back outside in a few minutes.

The next stop is your cottage, called the Treasure Chest. You snicker at the name, thinking it sounded more like a pirate-themed strip joint. When Nick asks what you’re laughing about, you tell him your thoughts on the name of where you are staying. The slow smile that spreads on his face makes you involuntarily clench your thighs, wondering what his days-old stubble would feel like between your legs.

He tilts his head just slightly at you, then turns back to the road, smile still intact. Luckily the drive is short as the cottages are fairly close to one another. Nick parks in the driveway and you both get out and stretch your legs. He comes around and grabs your shoulder bag and luggage, motioning for you to lead the way.

Walking up the steps to the door, you unlock it and are welcomed by the scent of fresh linen. The central air of the cottage is just this side of perfect and you drop your purse on the dining room table. Turning around, you see Nick walking into a room off of the living room.

“Holy shit, you got a King-sized bed,” he shouts from the bedroom.

Walking in, you sit at the foot of the bed next to Nick and start to untie your shoes. He follows suit and turns to you biting his lip, a question at the tip of his tongue.

Facing him, you ask, “What? Do I have something on my face?” 

“No. I, uh...I’m surprised you haven’t asked yet,” he notes. At your confusion, he holds up his left ring finger. A band of untanned skin around the base clues you in that he’s talking about his divorce.

“Nicky, I would never make you talk about it. It can’t be easy in that situation. I mean, I only broke up with Curtis a few months ago and we were only together for six months. I couldn’t imagine how a divorce feels after how long you and Tori were together,” you insist, placing a hand on his knee.

He covers your hand with his and nods. “Mom and Dad are pretty good about it. They don’t ask me how I’m doing with that sad look in their eyes anymore. But Dee? Jesus, when I told her about the incident, she was out for blood. I had to end up calming her down. All because someone broke her big bro’s heart. Love her, but she can get a little carried away,” he finishes.

“This is not to make you feel like you need to share, but you mentioned “the incident” and now I’m curious. Feel free to tell me to shut the fuck up. But I caught Curtis with his tongue down another woman’s throat. I don’t know for sure how long it had been going on or if they had done anything else together, but I knew at that moment that I was done. I am worth more than that. And so are you, Nicky,” you encourage, feeling a bit of weight lift off your shoulders after finally talking about your breakup.

“My situation was similar. Tori had been cheating on me for the last two years of our marriage with her boss. I had a feeling something was up, just didn’t want to believe it was something like this,” he reveals, continuing, “But I am moving on, so to speak. I’m not holding out anymore for her to come crawling back to me with a sad story and all that. Even though I hope that she falls in a sinkhole.”

You both laugh and continue talking, taking your minds off of your breakups. You reminisce about all of the times you’ve stayed on the island during vacations. You giggle over dumb stories of you all as teens in high school, hiding weed from your parents and drinking on the beach til it was time to sneak back into the hotel.

You get an idea and you tell Nick to give you a minute before you go back into the living room to retrieve your purse. Coming back into the bedroom, you pull out a vape pen and wiggle it in front of Nick’s face, a devilish smirk on your lips.

“We’ll just take one hit each and we will be fine. Just a bit more mellow,” you offer, pulling him to the balcony off of the living room. You each occupy a wicker chair and you hand over the device.

“Gumdrop, you little devil,” he takes the pen from you and inhales, closing his eyes and holding the smoke in his lungs before letting it out. The smoke dissipates quickly and you can see the weight lift off of his shoulders. Handing it back to you, he exhales loudly and leans back in his chair.

Putting the tip in your mouth, you hit the button and inhale. Warm vapor fills you and you release the button, holding in the smoke for a beat and then letting it out toward the sky. You put the pen down on the table between you and fold your legs under you, letting your dress cascade down.

Sitting in companionable silence with Nick feels great. Neither of you feels the need to talk while you listen to the sounds of nature around you. People walking around the cottages, cars driving by, and the distant waves from Pamlico Sound make you wish you had gone to the beach earlier.

“Fuck, that was only one hit and I feel like my bones are made of jelly,” you remark, swaying to a song that isn’t playing with your eyes closed.

Nick looks over to you and smiles, “Must be jelly ‘cause jam don’t shake like that.”

You open your eyes and turn to him, your mouth twitches before you break out into uncontrollable laughter. Nick soon follows and you both are taken over by the giggles. You settle down soon enough, still feeling the buzzing calmness of being high.

“The world needs more people like you,” you beam.

“Nah, I like being unique,” he replies, his phone chiming. Picking up a video call from Dee, “Hey Sis.”

“Hey, me and Matt were gonna go for dinner and drinks, you in?” she asks.

“Yeah, that sounds...good,” Nick answers for himself while looking at you to get your answer.

“Ok, well get ready and meet us at Oyster Company. And tell my best friend that she is coming, no ifs, ands, or buts. See you both soon!” With that, she ends the call.

“So...our decision has been made for us. Do you need to change or anything?” Nick wonders, gesturing to your traveling attire.

“If I take this dress off, I am not going out. Besides, I like this dress. I think I look positively adorable. But I will change my shoes to something more comfortable,” you finish before Nick can comment on how he also likes your dress. You pick up the vape pen, make your way back to your luggage, and pull out some flat sandals.

Once you are ready, you make your way back outside and are surprised to see Dee and Matt parked on the street outside of your cottage. “We decided to pick you up. Matt is DD tonight, so we can all get a little loosey-goosey. Plus, I can always tell when Nick is high, so get in losers!”

Nick snorts, and you are mortified to be found out, but you quickly get over it once you are in the backseat of Matt’s Audi Q4. The short ride to the restaurant was spent with Nick’s left leg brushing against your right leg. He was either manspreading or he wanted to touch you and wanted to keep it under the radar.

Either way, you were excited to feel his warmth next to you.

When you make it to the restaurant, you sit at a high table and it almost feels like a double date. Especially when your waitress congratulates Dee and Matt on their wedding while remarking that you and Nick make a cute couple as well. Your face warms up and you suddenly feel like every eye is on you. 

Nick comes to your rescue, answering the waitress with a smile, “My girl’s a bit shy, is all. Can we get a pitcher of beer for the table to start? And also two shots of Crown Royal Vanilla for me and the little lady. Thanks.”

If it was possible, you would have melted through the floor and evaporated, but instead, you just hide behind the menu until Nick pokes his head in.

“That wasn’t to embarrass you, I swear. But I got nervous that she was gonna try and flirt with me, so I dragged you under the proverbial bus with me,” he admits, his lopsided smile only making you want him more.

“Fine. You’ll just have to make it up to me,” you warn, a devious grin appearing on your face. 

You put down your menu just as the waitress comes back with the drinks. Taking both shots, you hand one to Nick. Staring in each other’s eyes, you clink your shot glasses and then tap them on the table before taking the shot. The sweet burn of the liquor warms you from within while Nick’s eyes on you melt whatever nerves you had previously.

A cleared throat breaks your trance, your focus changing from Nick to Dee.

“I talked to Mom and Dad and they won’t get here ‘til Friday afternoon with the rest of the guests. Dad said he had a few things to take care of and not to worry. Of course, I worry tenfold because he told me not to,” Dee interjects, busying herself with pouring beer into her frosted glass.

“Baby, they’ll be here as soon as they can. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about anything,” Matt insists, moving a strand of hair away from Dee’s face before kissing her.

“Promise to keep me occupied?” she requests, a sinful smile on her face.

“I do,” he jokes, clearly proud of himself for making his fiancée blush.

“First of all, how dare you? Secondly, that was almost too cute so watch yourself,” she laughs.

You roll your eyes at the happy couple and smile, going back to looking over the menu. The waitress comes back to the table and takes your orders. Over the meal, you get to know Matt a bit more and you can see how Dee fell in love with him. He’s intelligent, funny, and charismatic. The way he talks about and to her makes you so happy to know your friend found love.

When they turn to talk to each other, you and Nick spark up a conversation about work. He tells you what he can about working for the government, keeping the specific details to himself. You regale him with stories of your time as a freelance writer. You’ve written for dozens of publications, but you just want to get your original works out there for people to enjoy. 

After mentioning a few pieces you wrote for GQ, Nick expressed interest in reading your articles. You try and downplay your skills, but he presses you for the links. Taking out your phone, you realize that you don’t have his number. 

While you exchange digits with Nick, you are too busy to notice Dee casting a sidelong glance and smiling to herself. You ramble on as you send him link after link of some of your favorites. With your face in your phone, you don’t notice the way Nick looks at you with a mix of pride and hunger.

“Well, I am ready to call it a night,” Dee yawns, getting everyone’s attention, “But I could use a nightcap. Who’s up for a trip to the ABC Store? We can make it before they close.”

Everyone agrees and after the check is paid, you all pile into Matt’s SUV for the quick drive to the liquor store. You browse the aisles for a bit by yourself. Filling up your basket with a bottle of wine, some whiskey, and a six-pack of hard seltzers, you surmise that this will sustain you for the week ahead and go in search of the others.

You find Nick in front of the beer cooler, hard at work trying to decide between a 12-pack of Sam Adams’ Cold Snap and Harpoon’s Long Thaw. You suggest he get both and he agrees.

Meeting Dee and Matt up at the front of the store, you stand next to Nick in line and he laughs at the contents of your shopping basket. He puts his beer up for the cashier to scan and has you do the same, paying for your items. 

A little piece of you feels taken care of and you thank him while continuing to tell him he doesn’t have to. He just shushes you and says you can make it up to him later. Before your mind can think about what that might entail, the sale is rung and bagged. Nick picks up the beer and you grab the bag of your things.

Nick asks Matt to just drop him off at your cottage since he left his car there. His cottage is literally next door, but you’re not exactly gonna deny yourself the company. Dee and Matt drive away and you turn back to Nick. You both laugh nervously and you surprise yourself by speaking up.

“So, um. I was gonna have a weed and whiskey moment to myself, but I’d be willing to share if you’re interested,” you hint, watching as he weighs his options. 

“Lead the way, Gumdrop,” he replies.

He follows you in, closing the door behind him. He puts his beer into the fridge along with your hard seltzer. You put the wine on the counter and take out the whiskey while Nick finds two short glasses in the cabinet. Pouring a generous amount in each one, he offers you a drink and you take a sip of the amber liquid. 

Letting the whiskey sit in your mouth, you savor the hints of vanilla and spice. You reach in your purse for your vape pen and take a hit of it before offering it to Nick. Taking a long pull off of the pen, he exhales and you watch as his shoulders relax. You both take another sip of whiskey and revel in the dual flavors of the weed and whiskey.

You take your glass and the bottle, moving onto the patio off of the living room, and sit down in one of the wicker chairs while Nick takes the other. The conversation comes easily enough. Mostly high thoughts and random memories come to mind. After a while, you put on some music and when 6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps comes on, you can’t help but dance in your chair.

Nick stares while you close your eyes and move your hands to the trip-hop classic. You spend the entire song moving to the downtempo beat and enjoying your crossfade. The trance you were under slowly dissipates as the song ends and Pendulum by FKA Twigs starts.

When you open your eyes, Nick is pulling you to stand up. You’re lost as to what he is doing until his hands go to yours, pulling them to rest around his neck while he holds your hips. As the song continues, you follow his slow lead and sway to the intimate and mesmerizing indie hit.

🎶

You're younger than I am broken

I dance feelings like they're spoken

So my conversation's not enough

So lonely trying to be yours

Running through sliding doors

So lonely trying to be yours

When you're looking for so much more

🎶

By the time the song ends, the heat between you is unmistakable. Your hand tangles in his hair when he pulls you impossibly closer. Mere centimeters separate your lips. All you would need is to lean just one step closer and you’d finally get to taste his kiss.

Nick beats you to it and his hands pull your face to his, crashing your lips together. You can’t hold back the moan that escapes your lips and he swallows it adding in his own grunts and groans. Kiss after kiss, you radiate carnality and passion. 

Breaking the kiss, you watch as he licks his puffy bottom lip. You take in a breath of air and prepare to dive back in but Nick voices his thoughts.

“You are gonna be the death of me, Gumdrop,” he sighs, and at your brows furrowing he continues, “You’ve only been back in my life for a day and I’m already thinking of ways to keep you in it. Don’t hate me, but I think we should chill out, just for tonight. I swear, if you still want this by tomorrow night, I am all yours. But you better be all mine. Please, tell me you can wait for me?”

“Tomorrow night and you’re all mine?” you plead, and he nods.

“Less than 24 hours, baby. Show me that these feelings aren’t just from the substances in our system,” he insists, and you wanna fuck him even more now after he says that.

You nod and he speaks up, “Need to hear your words, baby, like a big girl.”

“Fuck...yes, I can wait. I can wait for you, Nicky,” you whimper and he rests his forehead against yours. 

“That’s my good girl,” he praises, lifting his head from yours, “Now, why don’t we call it a night before I go back on my word? You look so good in this dress and I really wanna be good.”

Agreeing with him, you clean up your empty glasses and move the bottle to the counter next to the wine. Nick pulls you into him one last time, snaking a hand down to your ass and grabbing a hefty portion of it before a hardy slap lands on your left cheek. He only snickers at your yelp and nibbles on your bottom lip. 

“Keep that same energy for me because tomorrow I’m not holding back,” he vows, and if you weren’t leaning into him, your legs would’ve surely buckled. If he notices the tremble go through your body, he makes no mention of it and for that you are grateful.

“Goodnight, Nicky,” you hum.

“Sleep tight, Gumdrop. And do me a favor?” he challenges, at your nod he continues, “Save it for me. I’m gonna take care of you tomorrow, so no need to touch that kitty tonight, right?”

You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, “Right.”

He leaves and once the door is closed, you lean back against it, your hand going to your neck where your pulse is playing a sick beat against your skin.

Less than 24 hours, you think. You got this.

That night, you dream of grayish-blue eyes and large hands roaming your body.

January 21st, 2024 – Day Two 

You wake just before 10:30 am and are greeted with a good morning text from Nick. He lets you know that he is taking you out, just the two of you. Since Dee and Matt are enjoying a couple’s spa package, he figures it would only be right to hit some of your favorite places on the island.

You are dressed and out the door by noon. Nick takes you to pick up lunch at Taqueria 504 Suazo’s and you drive out to rent a Jeep Gladiator at for a few hours to drive on the beach. One of the best things about this island is that everything is so close. After 5 minutes, you are at your destination. 

Nick drives out a ways past the other people enjoying the off-season and stops about a minute after the last two fishermen you see. Guess he wanted a secluded spot, you think to yourself. While you get the food, Nick grabs the beach chairs and umbrella that he rented. The ocean breeze is agreeable enough, but you are glad that you brought a thin sweater to keep the chill off.

Once you sit down, you hand over Nick’s food and he digs into his burrito while you munch on your fish tacos. When your meal is finished, Nick puts your leftovers in the Gladiator and lets down the truck bed. He beckons you over and helps you sit on the edge and he climbs up and sits next to you while you both look at the water.

“Ya know, the last time we came out here I was just finishing my third year at Virginia Tech. You and Dee were seniors. I remember hoping upon hope that you would apply to VT and I remember you telling me you were accepting a scholarship from Princeton. I just sucked it up and congratulated you. Even though I was hoping you would understand why I wanted you close, I was so proud of you for venturing off on your own. You were always one to go after what you wanted. I just couldn’t stop wanting to be what you wanted,” he confesses, looking off into the water.

“I wanted you, Nicky. Trust me, I did. But I was so afraid that I had a dumb little crush on someone who would never see me as someone other than his little sister’s best friend. The last time I saw you, I thought it was right to push away the idea of you ever having feelings for me. I also may have been afraid of what Dee would say. She’s kind of protective over both of us, ya know?” you finish.

“That girl can be a vicious little thing when she wants to,” he chuckles, shaking his head, “But don’t you think it’s kind of a sign that she had me pick you up from the ferry? And how suddenly today, we have a free schedule to do whatever we want together? I know my sister, and she’s done this before. She matched me up with my high school girlfriend, Beth.”

“Ugh, Beth with the braces and bangs. I used to call her Triple B behind your back. I hated her so much,” you mutter, trying to push the image of them kissing out of your mind.

“Yeah, well. I knew you hated her, but me being an idiot teenager didn’t exactly know that meant you liked me. I just thought you didn’t like her because she was kind of a bitch. She was plenty nice to me, but she could be...a little scary, at times,” he laughs, surprising himself.

“So...you think Dee would be ok with...this?” you say, gesturing between the two of you.

“I just think there is no way she would let us be alone together if she wasn’t halfway hoping it would work out,” he guesses, “Plus, honestly? We’re adults. We’re allowed to go after what makes us happy.”

A slow smile spreads across your face and you pull Nick in for a kiss. You don’t want to jinx it but he makes you happy too. The way he looks at you like you hung the moon, the way he listens to you and asks questions and the way he kisses you? 

It just has to be real.

Packing up your beach equipment, you head back to drop off everything. Getting back into his SUV, you head around the island and view some of the sights. You go shopping and pick up some new knick knacks to take home. Visiting the lighthouse, you take some photos and make sure to bring Dee and Matt here before you leave the island.

Since most of the island’s restaurants are closed on Sundays, you venture to Ocracoke Variety Store and opt for cooking dinner together. After you have all the ingredients you need for a simple fish fry, you head back to your cottage and you and Nick get your hands dirty.

You have him cutting up potatoes for steak fries while you are preparing the batter for the fish. When dinner is ready, you sit at the dining room table with soft music playing in the background. While Nick wanted to take you out for your first date, he could appreciate the quiet setting with just the two of you enjoying each other’s company.

Finishing your meal, Nick takes your hand and kisses your knuckles. You smile and warmth radiates in your cheeks. You hate to admit it, but you wish you had a little liquid courage right now. But the nerves you feel only cement that this is happening.

He pulls you up from your seat, the hunger in his eyes evident from his blown-wide pupils. Leading you into the bedroom, he stops just short of the end of the bed. Standing behind you as you face the bed, he runs his hands down your bare arms and whispers in your ear.

“I cannot wait to take you apart, Gumdrop. But,” he starts, turning you around to face him, “First, I just want to take my time and worship this beautiful body I know you’re hiding from me.”

If he wasn’t holding you up, you would have melted into the carpet. But he’s there with firm hands and a gentle grip. Helping you out of your dress, he lays it on the chair in the corner. Coming back, he admires the white lace bra and panty set that accentuates your body shape.

His lips come back to yours, tasting your desire and wantonness with every kiss. Wrapping an arm around you, he guides you to lay back on the bed while maintaining the liplock. He kisses down your neck and across your collarbone while his hand unclasps your bra and removes it from your body.

Laying a kiss between your breasts draws a quick inhale from you. You can tell he’s proud of himself when he looks up at you while he licks one pert nipple, the other between his thumb and forefinger. He sucks on it as if he could siphon gold from your tits. Switching to the other, he gives it the same attention. 

The noises that come from him as he plays with your breasts are enough to make you shiver. He whimpers when you moan and throw your head back. He groans when he kisses down your belly, stopping to look up at you before he plants a quick kiss upon your covered mound.

He pulls down your panties at such an agonizing speed. Nick has to squeeze his dick through his pants when a string of your wetness stretches from your pussy to your underwear. Spreading your legs apart, he feasts on the view of your lips opening like a flower before him.

He wanted to go slow, he really did. But once he flattens his tongue and licks up from your entrance to your swollen nub, he is mesmerized by the taste of you. He goes back and forth between sucking on your button and lapping up whatever nectar drips from you. You can feel yourself inching toward the finish line, and he is right there to talk you through it.

“Fuck...you taste like Heaven...that’s right, baby...let go and cum for me like a good girl,” he commands between licks and kisses.

You’re nothing if not a good listener and seconds later, your walls are clamping around his fingers. You’ve never cum like this before and it washes over you like a warm waterfall. He removes his fingers from your wet opening and sucks them clean before moving up the bed to kiss you.

Tasting yourself on his tongue, you are beyond turned on. You tug at the hem of his shirt and he sits up to pull it off. Running your hands over his chest, you pull at the button of his pants.

“Use your words,” he urges, his hands stopping yours from moving further.

“Need to feel you, Nick. Please fuck me,” you beg, all thoughts gone from your head.

“There’s my good girl,” he replies, standing up from the bed to undress fully. Climbing back on the bed, he kneels between your legs. He strokes himself slowly, eight inches of uncut cock staring you in the face. He squeezes the base and you can tell he is just as excited as you are.

You crook a finger at him and once again, he is on top of you. With nothing between you, you’re impossibly close and you only want to get closer. Your hand soon finds his erection and he hisses at the contact, groaning when you stroke him.

He leans on one forearm while his other hand guides his tip between your lips, gathering some of your slick before entering you. You both groan loudly once he is fully settled inside you. 

“You good, baby?” he asks, anxious to start moving his hips.

“God, yes. Fuck me, Nicky,” you plead, feeling so full when you arch your back.

Foregoing words, Nick retracts his hips and thrusts into you. The wet squelch as he fucks you is music to your ears, just like the way he tells you how beautiful you are in between kisses. He uses your breasts as handholds while he pummels your snatch.

The way he looks into your eyes while he plunges inside you excites you so much that you don’t even notice when a tear escapes your eye. He kisses it away, trailing his lips to your neck where he sucks at your pulse point. At this point, you couldn't care less about a hickey. You just want to be his.

Your next orgasm surprises you and you squeeze his cock from the inside, coating him in your cream. 

“Good girl, coming all over my fucking dick. Feels so fucking good when you tighten around me like that. You are taking me so well, Gumdrop. Yes. You. Are,” he grunts, punctuating the last three words with deep thrusts inside you.

Flipping you over so you are on top, Nick grabs your hips and you start to ride him. You bounce on his cock like it’s the last time you get to fuck. By the mewls coming from him, you are doing it just right.

You feel another climax on its way, slowly building up in your core. Nick swats your hand away when you go to rub your clit. He licks his thumb and massages your neglected pearl until you are unable to hold it in any longer. The dual stimulation is too much and you gush, soaking Nick’s abdomen and your thighs.

“Oh fuck, baby. Such a good fucking girl for me. You must want my cum inside you with the way you’re...riding my dick. Shit, baby, I’m gonna blow. Where do you want it, baby?” he asks, you reply by doubling down on your hip motions.

“Right there, Nicky. Cum inside me, please,” you implore breathlessly.

“Yes, baby. Gonna cum for you, gonna fill you up so good. Ugh, fuck, here it comes,” he whimpers, his hold on your hips so tight to keep you close to him. 

You feel every twitch of his cock, his muscles pulling taut across his arms and chest as he floods your canal. Your name on his lips as he comes down is a badge of honor. Yes, you did that shit.

He pulls you down to kiss him, shallow thrusts keeping him semi-hard before he pulls out. He lays you down next to him, cuddling you close and kissing your forehead. You start to fall asleep but you can feel Nick moving off the bed. Your hand shoots out to grab for him, but he shushes you.

He goes into the bathroom and you hear the faucet running before he comes out with a wet washcloth. Wiping down your sensitive folds, he takes care of you so well. Putting the washcloth back in the bathroom, he comes back and helps you get under the covers and he snuggles in with you.

With your arms and legs entangled in one another, you drift off peacefully.

January 22nd – January 26th 2024 

The days before the wedding are spent enjoying the island with Nick, Dee, and Matt before the other guests arrive. More than once, Dee has cornered both you and Nick, asking embarrassing questions. You both say nothing, feigning ignorance even though Nick has moved into your cottage over the week, abandoning the cottage that he was supposed to share with his parents.

That being said, once his parents do finally make it to the island, he doesn’t even try and act like he isn’t staying with you. The smile on his father’s face says it all, he approves. His mother is far too preoccupied with getting everyone together for the wedding rehearsal to notice anything. 

That is until she catches you and Nick making heart eyes at each other as you stand in for the Bride and Groom in rehearsal. Yes, it was a bit too soon to be playing Wedding Day with a man whose divorce is less than 100 days old.

But when you know, you know.

At dinner, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and you don’t notice Nick following after you. Before you can enter the ladies’ room, a hand on your arm pulls you into the nearby gender-neutral bathroom.

You turn around and are met with hungry eyes before he descends upon you. Turning you around to face the mirror, he puts your hands on the sink and sinks to his knees, his hands roaming under your dress and up your legs until he pulls down your panties. He pulls out his already hard dick and pumps himself a few times before sliding inside you.

“Don’t fucking move, baby. Keep looking at yourself in the mirror, and your hands stay right where they are. You thought you could get away with teasing me in this tight fucking dress,” he breathes, “I want you to watch yourself while I fuck you til you’re dripping for me like the good girl I know you can be.”

When he places his hands on your hips, he begins a steady pace. He watches you in the mirror as your orgasm takes you over without warning. You squeeze him, your walls fluttering and coaxing him to follow you when you cover him in your juices.

But he surprises you when he pulls out and pulls your panties back up. When you turn around to ask why, he only kisses you and whispers in your ear, “I’ll get mine later, don’t you worry.” That only fills you with a little dread, your legs still wobbly as Nick tucks himself away and straightens his outfit. “Can’t have them knowing I just got my dick wet, right baby? See you back out there.” 

He exits the bathroom and leaves you with slick running down your legs and your brain falling out of your ears. And he’s worried about you being the death of him?

You straighten yourself and use the bathroom for its intended purpose. Once back in the banquet hall, you pray to any god who will listen that you don’t look like you just got some dick. You see Nick and Matt in a conversation like he’d been here the whole time. When Dee asks why you look flustered, you lie and say you’re just a bit tired.

Nick overhears you talking to Dee and interjects himself into the conversation, “Why don’t we go get some fresh air? Don’t worry, Sis, I’ll take care of her.” Helping you out of your chair, you both say goodnight to those at dinner.

Nick takes you back to the cottage, pulling you behind him as he walks out onto the balcony. Crashing his lips to yours, his hands scrunch up the fabric of your dress until you feel the night air chill your skin. 

“Hands on the railing, baby,” he says, peeling your soaked panties from you.

Nick’s pushing inside you in the next breath and it’s like he belonged there all along. Holding onto your hips, he begins his onslaught. All you can do is hold yourself up and be happy that no one is walking down this road because fuck they would be able to see you getting absolutely railed without abandon.

Your grip on the railing is faltering as he slams into you and he takes pity on you. He uses the grip on your hips to pull you back so you sit on his lap while he sits in the wicker chair. He moves you up and down on his dick while saying the filthiest things to you.

Once your climax hits, his pace falters and he thrusts up into you. His tip hits your cervix as he pumps you full. He holds you against him and kisses up your neck as you lay back on his chest. For a few moments, all you both can do is breathe and caress each other.

His dick slips free of you and you feel his load dripping from your thoroughly used hole. 

“Come with me back to Virginia,” he whispers, surprising both of you, “Don’t say no just yet. Think about it. We don’t leave for a couple of days. I have not been this happy in a very long while and I think I make you happy too. Just think about it, Gumdrop.”

A million things go through your head at the thought of giving up your life in New Jersey. This was a big step after only a week of playing house. Your brain comes up with so many what-ifs and reasons to not leap. But then one thought sticks, and you smile.

When you know, you know.

January 27th, 2024 – Wedding Day

You were never a big crier, but you shed many tears watching your childhood best friend marry the love of her life. It fills you with hope that everything does happen for a reason. While listening to their vows, you wonder if you could ever make that type of commitment. At that moment, Nick squeezes your hand and you smile up at him. Like he could read your mind, he seems to always know what to do to give you comfort.

Then again, he has known you most of his life. And when you think about it, it has always been him. A distant memory replays in your head of him simply putting a band-aid on your skinned knee when you were nine and he was twelve. Even then, he was there for you with a smile and a friendly hug.

The wedding reception is an all-out party but you expect nothing less from the Fowlers. The music, the food, and the atmosphere are perfect. Dee enjoys herself and is just happy to be married to Matt. And you are so happy for her, to see her without a care in the world. 

Nick focuses on you the entire night, making sure you are comfortable and that you have everything you need. You sit in his lap, effectively confirming any rumors that may have spread about you two. His hand on your knee is warm and you want to sneak out of here and take him to the nearest closet. But he doesn’t let you move an inch once he has you in his clutches.

The wedding photographer snaps a pic of you squealing when Nick plants a sloppy kiss on your cheek. The guests around you simultaneously swoon and groan, depending on their relationship status. Not that you care, you had your man. That’s all that matters.

After the wedding, you and Nick sneak off to a secluded area of the beach to look up at the stars. Taking off your shoes, you don’t mind the sand between your toes. You spend most of the night on the beach, just enjoying each other’s company under the moon. 

You are lucky enough to see a few shooting stars, and you can’t stop yourself from making a wish or two. Wondering if Nick made a wish, you open your mouth to ask him but close it just as quickly. You know his wish already and only you could make it come true.

Coming back to the cottage is bittersweet. The last night of your vacation is spent lying naked with Nick. No sex, just intimate cuddling. You loved how safe you felt in his arms, and you couldn’t deny yourself this feeling.

January 28th, 2024

You’re nervous all morning and Nick tries his best to keep your mind off leaving the island. But all you want to do is spend all day in bed with him.

Saying goodbye to Dee that day is full of teary-eyed hand-holding, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You hug her mother and father and thank them for inviting you. 

Nick drives you to the ferry, thinking for all the world that this is the last time he will see you. But like you continue to do, you surprise him when he’s helping you with your bags.

“So, I have some things to clear up in Jersey, but I was thinking Valentine’s Day is just a couple of weeks away. You can come to my place and we can spend some time together. I may not be ready to move 7 hours away just yet. But I know that I am not ready to be without you. I want you to know that I want this, whatever this is,” you admit, gesturing between the two of you.

“I can be amenable to that. On one condition,” he offers, taking your hands in his.

“And what is that one condition, Nicky?” you press, wondering what else he could want or if your terms weren’t enough.

“When we are with each other again, I get to call you my girl. That’s it. Be mine, and all that?” he laughs, watching as the frown lines on your forehead disappear and a smile grows on your face.

“You had me for a second, Nicky. But, why wait? I’m all yours already. Plus, I’ve already planted my flag in your back pocket,” you tease, snaking your hand around to goose him.

“So that would make me your man, then? And you’re my girl. Makes me wanna ask what made you decide to try this with me?” he hesitates, half wanting an answer and the other half just happy that you said yes.

“Hey, like I always say,” you start, wrapping your arms around his neck, “When you know, you know.”

END…?

A/N: All of the places in this story are real, this is not an advertisement for Ocracoke Island, NC btw. I just loved vacationing here so much, that I wanted to use it in a story lol.

**Tag List** (since I never wrote for Nick, I didn't know who else to tag)

@gummydummy19 @blackwood4stucky

Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😁

My BINGO Card:

[the-winter-spider]

Revised Chapter 2!!’ Enjoy :)

If I Could Fly: Part 2 | B.Barnes

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 6.2k

Revised Version

Masterlist

Part One

—-

“I didn't expect anybody to be up.”

You didn't need to turn around to know who it was; his footsteps, his voice, were all too familiar. But mostly, who else would be up at 3 a.m. besides Bucky? You sat on the barstool at the kitchen counter, taking a sip of your tea. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Insomnia again?” he asked, sliding onto the stool beside you.

You nodded. “You know how it is. At least I have some company now.”

He gave you a soft smile. “It's always us.”

You tilted your head. “What do you mean?”

He cleared his throat and gestured between the two of you. “I mean, it’s always us—awake together at these odd hours. It’s nice.”

You laughed softly. “I never realized how often that happens.”

A comfortable silence settled between you, the only sound being the soft clink of your tea cup as you set it down. You could feel his gaze on you, warm and steady. “Can I help you, Sergeant Barnes?” you teased, using his title.

A smile tugged at his lips at the sound of his rank. “You can. Dance with me.”

“W-what?” You nearly choked on your tea.

“Dance with me.”

“Right now? At 3:30 in the morning?”

He stood, moving to stand beside you, his left arm tucked behind his back, his right hand extended towards you. “I don’t care what time it is.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Crazy about you, maybe,” he replied, pausing to let his words sink in. “Unless you have other plans, doll.”

Your heart pounded against your ribcage as you shook your head, a smile playing on your lips as a blush spread across your cheeks. “I don’t, actually.” You hopped off the chair, placing your hand in his. He lifted your hand, twirling you in a circle, laughter bubbling out of you before he pulled you close.

His head nestled into the crook of your neck as you swayed side to side, guided by the rhythm of your heartbeats. His breath hitched, and you felt him draw in a breath before he pulled you even closer. His lips brushed against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “I think you’ve stolen my heart, Y/N.”

You froze for a moment, your breath catching in your throat. Did he really just say that? You felt your heart flutter as his words sank in, warm and comforting. “Bucky…”

His grip tightened just slightly, and he pulled back enough to look into your eyes. “I mean it,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “I know it’s late, I’m sorry…. and maybe this isn’t the right time to say it, but… you’ve become so much more to me than just a friend.”

You could see the vulnerability in his eyes, a side of him he rarely showed to anyone. Without thinking, you reached up, cupping his face in your hands. “You don’t have to apologize for how you feel, Bucky. I… I think I’ve been falling for you too.”

His eyes softened, and for a moment, it was as if the rest of the world faded away. There was only the two of you, standing in the kitchen at 3:30 in the morning, wrapped up in each other. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he leaned in, and you met him halfway, your lips brushing together in a kiss that was as gentle as it was full of promise.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless, but the smiles on your faces said everything that words couldn’t. “So,” Bucky murmured, his forehead resting against yours, “how about we make these late-night meetings a regular thing?”

You chuckled, your heart swelling with affection. “Only if they all end like this.”

“Deal,” he said softly, before pulling you back into his arms, where you felt more at home than you ever had before.

—

“Stop it, Sam,” Bucky huffed, his voice low and irritated.

“Stop what?” Sam feigned ignorance, though the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips betrayed him.

“Staring,” Bucky snapped, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world—because it was.

“I’m just trying to see past all this,” Sam said, gesturing with his hands at Bucky, who sat across from him at the table, arms crossed and brooding like a storm cloud ready to break. “Trying to see how you really feel, because I sure as hell hope you feel like an asshole.”

Bucky grunted, his jaw clenching. “I know, Sam.”

“Like the biggest asshole I’ve ever seen,” Sam pressed, his tone sharp, unforgiving.

“I got it.”

“Why’d you do it?” Sam demanded, his voice rising with the anger he’d been holding back. He was, of course, referring to the way Bucky had absolutely torn into you earlier. How he had belittled you, snapped at you, and, worst of all, pinned you to the wall in front of the whole team—your friends, your family. All because of a simple mistake that could’ve happened to anyone. Sure, Natasha had gotten hurt, but Bucky had no right to say what he did. No right to do what he did.

“I—” Bucky’s voice faltered, his eyes catching on something behind Sam. A group of people were running down the hallway, panic evident on their faces. “Why are they running?”

Bucky pushed his chair back with a screech, standing up abruptly. He could feel something dark and heavy settle in his chest as he made his way toward the hallway.

“Steve?” Sam called out, his voice laced with urgency as he followed closely behind Bucky. Both men caught sight of Steve sprinting toward them.

Steve didn’t stop running, didn’t even slow down as he shouted over his shoulder, “It’s Y/N!”

Bucky’s heart plummeted, a cold dread settling in his chest. He exchanged a quick, panicked glance with Sam before they both took off after Steve, their feet pounding against the floor in sync with the rapid beats of Bucky’s heart.

They raced down the hallway, rounding a corner and nearly colliding with the rest of the team, who were huddled together, their faces etched with grim concern. The atmosphere was thick with tension, the air practically vibrating with it. Through the glass wall, Bucky could see the Avengers medical team hard at work, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t catch a glimpse of you.

“What happened?” Bucky demanded, his voice rough, edged with fear.

Tony was the first to speak, his voice tight and controlled. “She was bleeding out.”

Bucky’s blood ran cold. “Bleeding out? What do you mean she was bleeding out? What happened?”

Steve still hadn’t looked at Bucky, his gaze fixed on the frantic activity in the med bay. “She didn’t answer her door, so Tony overrode the lock.” He paused, taking a shuddering breath. “We found her lifeless on her bed, her abdomen covered in blood. She tried to wrap the wound, but we’re guessing she passed out from blood loss… or the shock of it before she could finish.”

Sam’s eyes widened in disbelief. “A stab wound? From the mission yesterday?” Steve’s only response was a solemn nod. Sam’s mouth fell open in shock. “Cap, that was over 12 hours ago.”

“I know,” Steve replied, his voice firm but laced with a guilt that mirrored Bucky’s own.

“Holy shit,” Sam muttered, running his hands over his face as if trying to wake himself from a nightmare. “On the jet, before we got off, she was white as a sheet, clammy, and she almost fell over… She said it was because her leg fell asleep. I thought the rest was because of what Buc—” He stopped himself, choosing his words carefully. “Because of what happened before.” He was in complete disbelief.

Bucky felt like the ground had been ripped out from under him. The room spun, and he gripped the doorframe to steady himself. The image of you lying in that bed, alone and bleeding, haunted him. How had he missed it? How could he have been so blinded by his anger that he hadn’t seen the pain you were in?

“You mean… she was bleeding out that whole time?” Bucky’s voice broke, the guilt crashing over him like a tidal wave. “And I… I was too busy being a fucking asshole to even notice.”

“Bucky…” Steve finally turned to face him, but Bucky could see the unspoken words in his eyes.

The weight of Steve’s stare was almost too much to bear. Bucky’s mind raced, replaying every moment from the past 24 hours. The way you’d flinched when he’d yelled at you, the way you’d looked away when he’d pinned you to the wall. He thought it was out of fear, but now he wondered if it had been something more—something far worse.

“I need to see her,” Bucky muttered, pushing past the others and moving toward the med bay door.

“Bucky, wait—” Tony started, but Bucky ignored him, his hand already on the door handle.

The door swung open, and the sterile smell of the med bay hit him like a wall. The sight of you, pale and motionless on the hospital bed, with tubes and wires attached to your body, made his heart seize in his chest.

“Y/N…” The word came out as a choked whisper, his vision blurring with unshed tears. He approached the bed slowly, afraid that if he moved too quickly, the fragile thread that was keeping you tethered to this world might snap.

A doctor glanced up as Bucky approached. “She’s stable for now, but we need to monitor her closely. The wound was deep, and she lost a significant amount of blood.”

Bucky barely registered the doctor’s words. All he could focus on was you—how still you were, how small you looked beneath the hospital sheets. He reached out, his metal hand trembling as he gently brushed a stray lock of hair from your forehead.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Sam and Steve stood at the doorway, their expressions a mix of sympathy and sorrow. They knew Bucky was drowning in guilt, but they also knew that nothing they said would lessen the weight of it.

For Bucky, the reality of the situation was crushing. He had let his anger, his own pain, blind him to yours. And now, as he stood there watching the rise and fall of your shallow breaths, he feared that he might never get the chance to make things right.

The room was silent, save for the beeping of the monitors and the soft hum of machines keeping you alive. Bucky stood there, feeling more helpless than he ever had before. The man who had faced countless enemies, who had survived horrors that would break most people, now found himself on the brink of losing the one person who had ever made him feel human again.

And in that moment, as he held your hand in his, Bucky Barnes—the Winter Soldier, the man out of time—felt more broken than he ever had before. Because losing you wasn’t just a possibility—it was a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from.

Bucky felt like the ground had been ripped out from under him. He had faced countless battles, fought monsters and demons both literal and figurative, but nothing had ever terrified him as much as the thought of losing you.

He sank into a chair, burying his face in his hands as the weight of his guilt and fear finally crashed down on him. And as he sat there, surrounded by the cold sterility of the med bay, one thought echoed in his mind, haunting him with its cruel certainty:

This is all my fault.

—-

The mission had been mentally exhausting. Every fiber of your being felt drained, as if the weight of your failure was pressing down on your shoulders, making it impossible to breathe. You and Nat had failed miserably, forced to abort the mission so it could be re-evaluated later. You were so done, so completely spent, that the only things left inside you were the boiling emotions threatening to spill over like a cup filled to the brim, with someone cruelly continuing to pour hot water into it.

The jet ride back was silent, thick with unspoken disappointment. You knew Nat felt the same. The two of you weren’t used to failing—especially not together. As a team, you were supposed to be unstoppable, and yet today… Today proved otherwise. When the hangar doors opened, she was the first to leave. You couldn’t move. Your feet were glued to the ground as your mind raced, replaying every decision, every mistake that led to this outcome.

Each misstep, each wrong turn played on a loop in your head, a torturous reminder of how badly you’d screwed up. You felt trapped in your own thoughts, drowning in regret and self-reproach.

Finally, you forced yourself to stand, dragging your legs one heavy step at a time. Your head hung low, eyes staring at the ground, though your vision was too blurred by unshed tears to see anything clearly. The sting in your chest grew sharper with each step.

You came to a halt when a pair of familiar boots appeared in front of you. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was—his presence was something you felt in your very soul, a warmth that threatened to melt the icy numbness clenching your heart. Bucky.

Before you could even process it, his strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest. The dam you’d been desperately holding back broke, and everything you’d been feeling poured out in a rush of sobs and gasps.

“Doll, it’s gonna be okay,” Bucky murmured, his voice a low, comforting rumble against your ear.

You pushed away slightly, as far as his embrace would allow, and looked up at him. Your puffy red eyes met his concerned blue ones, and you could see the worry etched into his features. “N-no, it’s not,” you stammered through your tears. “We screwed up so b-bad, and it’s all m-my fault.”

“That could have happened to any one of us,” Bucky said gently, his hands coming up to cup your face. The cool metal of his left hand was a stark contrast to the warmth of his right, grounding you in the moment. “Stop blaming yourself.”

“I can’t help it, Buck,” you choked out, the words thick with despair. “I’m a failure.”

“You’re anything but a failure, Y/N,” Bucky insisted, his voice firm yet tender. He wiped away a tear with his thumb, his gaze never leaving yours. “You’ve saved so many lives, done so much good. One bad mission doesn’t erase that.”

You shook your head, unable to accept his words. “But this… this was different. We weren’t just dealing with anyone out there. If we’d made it back with the intel….” Tears were threatened to spill over, ones you were trying not to shed, you were a goddamn assassin you shouldn’t be crying that's not how you were trained but Bucky… Bucky made all your walls fall down.

Bucky’s eye softened but still riddle with confidence, his heart shattered watching your tears fall from your eyes “Sweetheart, its happened to all of us, its okay, its not your fault that Stark got shitty intel, your not a failure, not in the slightest so please stop thinking that”

“But I am,” you whispered, the guilt suffocating you. “I’m supposed to be better than this. We’re supposed to be better than this.”

Bucky pulled you closer, resting his forehead against yours. “You are better than this. But you’re also human, Y/N. We all make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from them, that we keep going.”

You closed your eyes, letting his words wash over you. Bucky had his own demons, his own past that haunted him, and yet here he was, telling you it was okay to fall, to fail. You wanted to believe him, to trust that you weren’t as irreparably broken as you felt in this moment.

“Can you do that for me, Doll?” he asked softly. “Can you forgive yourself, even just a little, and move forward?”

You nodded slowly, though the knot in your chest was far from untangled. “I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask,” Bucky said, his lips brushing the top of your head in a tender kiss. “We’ll get through this. Together.”

You let out a shaky breath, leaning into him as you tried to gather the pieces of yourself that had shattered over the course of the mission. Bucky held you tightly, his presence a steady anchor in the storm of your emotions.

And for the first time since the mission had gone south, you felt a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t as alone in this as you’d thought.

—

There was a meeting—of course, there was a meeting. Not one, but two members of the team were in the medical wing, both in life-threatening conditions. Tony was pissed, and that was putting it mildly. Anyone who was able-bodied and had been on that jet, on that mission, was called in. The atmosphere in the room was charged with a mix of anger, guilt, and fear as they all gathered, knowing this wouldn’t be just another debrief..

“Is she gonna be okay?” Bucky's voice was barely more than a whisper, each word laced with a desperation he couldn’t fully hide.

“We don't know,” Tony replied, his voice tight with a mix of frustration and fear. He paused, taking in a deep breath as if trying to steady himself. “She lost a lot of blood. The wound was infected, and—”

“This is Y/N we're talking about,” Steve interrupted, his voice firm as if trying to will his confidence into existence. “She’ll pull through.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed, the tension in the room growing thicker by the second. “I know she’s strong, but why would she avoid getting help? Why didn’t she tell anyone?” He started pacing, his movements agitated. “And how did you guys miss this?”

“It’s no one’s fault, Tony,” Steve said, though there was an edge of uncertainty in his voice.

Tony stopped dead in his tracks, turning to face Steve with a look that could cut steel. “Oh, is that right?” he scoffed, his tone dripping with sarcasm. He stepped closer to Steve, his eyes burning with anger. “Because I saw the footage.” Tony’s gaze flicked to the side, zeroing in on Bucky. “Maybe she didn’t say anything because she felt like a burden. Does that ring a bell, Barnes?”

Bucky felt the accusation hit him like a punch to the gut. He looked up, locking eyes with Tony, and the guilt that had been simmering inside him boiled over.

“Enough, Tony,” Steve said, stepping in to diffuse the situation, but Tony wasn’t having it.

Tony shoved Steve’s hand away, his anger spilling over. “This is on you, Barnes,” he spat, his voice shaking with barely controlled fury before he stormed out of the room, leaving a heavy silence in his wake.

Steve let out a weary sigh, turning back to Bucky. “Buck, he didn’t mean—”

“Don’t, Steve,” Bucky growled, cutting him off. His vibranium arm slammed down on the table with a resounding crash, the sound echoing through the room. The force of his movement sent the chair he’d been sitting on flying across the room, crashing against the wall. Without another word, Bucky turned on his heel and stomped out, the door slamming shut behind him.

The tension in the room was suffocating, the air thick with unspoken words and unresolved guilt.

Sam pushed himself off the wall where he’d been leaning, his expression unreadable. “That went well,” he muttered, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

Steve shook his head, a deep frown etched on his face. “He’s never going to forgive himself, Sam.”

Sam shrugged, his expression hardening. “Well, Cap, maybe he shouldn’t,” he said, his tone devoid of sympathy. “Sometimes, people need to live with their mistakes.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped as he turned to face Sam. “You really believe that?” he asked, his voice soft, almost pleading for a different answer.

Sam crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze unwavering. “I don’t know, Steve,” he admitted after a long pause. “But I do know that Bucky’s not the only one who needs to own up to what happened. We all missed the signs. We all failed her.”

Steve nodded slowly, the weight of Sam’s words sinking in. “You’re right,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “We all failed her.”

As the two men stood in the silent room, the enormity of the situation settled over them like a dark cloud. They couldn’t change what had happened, couldn’t undo the damage that had been done. All they could do was wait and hope that you would pull through—and that, somehow, they could find a way to make things right again.

But deep down, Steve knew that the scars from this failure would linger, long after the physical wounds had healed. And he wasn’t sure any of them would ever truly forgive themselves—or each other—for what had happened.

—

Bucky stood outside the room where they had you, separated from you by a double-sided glass wall that felt like it might as well have been a mile thick. The sight of you lying there, pale and fragile, was almost too much to bear. He wanted to burst into the room, to hold you, to tell you how sorry he was. He wanted to explain that he didn’t mean any of it—that the harsh words were born out of fear.

Fear that had gripped him when your comms went dead, when he heard the gunshot, and when your scream echoed through the warehouse. In that moment, his heart had slammed against his ribs, blood pounding in his ears, his whole world narrowing to the possibility of losing you.

Everything had moved in slow motion after that. It was like one of those nightmares from his childhood, where he couldn’t run, couldn’t scream, and the boogeyman was always just one step behind. And when he finally rounded the corner and saw you, standing there with Natasha's weight on your shoulders, raising your gun to put down the last threat, he felt something he couldn’t name. It was raw and terrifying, so unfamiliar that he masked it with the only emotion he truly knew—anger.

When he’d started yelling at you, it was as though his mind had been hijacked. He wanted to stop, wanted to take back every word the moment it left his mouth, but it was like he was back under Hydra’s control. The look on your face, the hurt in your eyes, it shattered something deep inside him. He wanted nothing more than to grab you, pull you into his arms, and kiss you like he’d never kissed anyone before.

But instead, he’d shoved you against the wall, called you a burden, when all he really wanted to say was that he loved you. That he was terrified of losing you because you were everything to him. But now, that confession would be too little, too late. He didn’t deserve you then, and after what he’d done, he sure as hell didn’t deserve you now.

“Are you gonna go in? She’ll be waking up soon,” Sam’s voice broke through his thoughts, pulling him back to the harsh reality of the present.

Bucky turned his head slightly, a bitter scoff escaping his lips. “Why would I do that?”

Sam let out a low chuckle, though there was no humour in it. “Because you love her.”

Bucky’s shoulders slumped as he hung his head, staring down at his boots as if they might offer some kind of answer. “I messed up, Sam,” he murmured, his voice thick with regret.

“You did,” Sam agreed softly, stepping closer. “But you just need—”

“No, Sam,” Bucky cut him off, his tone laced with finality. He looked up, meeting Sam’s eyes with a hollow stare. “There’s no coming back from this. I put my hands on her. I shoved her into the wall and called her a burden, when… when she was wounded and almost died because of me.”

Sam’s expression softened, but his eyes remained steady, unwavering. “You didn’t know she was hurt. You were scared, and you lashed out. It doesn’t make it right, but it doesn’t mean you’re beyond redemption either.”

Bucky shook his head, a dark, self-loathing smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Redemption?” He echoed the word like it was foreign to him, something meant for others but not for himself. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to make up for the things I’ve done, and every time I think I’ve taken a step forward, I end up hurting the people I care about.”

Sam placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, the weight of it grounding him in the moment. “Look, I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy. But if you walk away now, you’re just letting your demons win. She needs you, Buck, whether you believe it or not. And maybe… maybe you need her too.”

Bucky’s breath caught in his throat as he glanced through the glass at you, still unconscious, still fighting for your life. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to run, to leave before he caused you any more pain. But a smaller, quieter voice—one that sounded a lot like you—told him to stay. To try, even if he didn’t think he deserved a second chance.

With a deep, shuddering breath, Bucky nodded. “I don’t know if I can fix this,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I’ll try.”

Sam gave him a reassuring squeeze. “That’s all anyone can ask for, man.”

——

“I like this.”

“Like what, Buck?”

“Being here with you,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that you felt more than heard. “I’d give up everything just to stay like this with you.”

Bucky was standing behind you, his arms wrapped around your upper torso, your hands resting on his forearms, holding him close. His chin nestled atop your head, and you could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back. It was the Fourth of July, and everyone else was either on the balcony or spread out on the grass, waiting for the fireworks to light up the sky. But you knew Bucky didn’t like crowds, and surely Steve wouldn’t mind if you stole his best friend away for a few minutes, even if it was his birthday.

You both stood there, bathed in the cool night air, waiting for the colors to explode in the sky.

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” you smiled at the thought, warmth spreading through you. You loved your relationship with Bucky, whatever it was. It was comfortable, effortless, like you’d both found something you didn’t know you were missing.

“Doll?”

“Mmm?” You turned to face him, and his hands moved to cradle your face, thumbs brushing lightly against your cheeks.

“I hope you know I mean everything I say. I know I’ve got a track record of not being the best at expressing myself, but…” He took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving yours. “I just feel like I’m missing half of me when we’re apart. You make me feel like I’m not some… some monster. So, thank you.”

“Bucky,” you breathed out, your heart swelling with affection, you didn’t know what to say back, your mouth opening and closing multiple times trying to piece together anything.

He shook his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. “Did I just make you, Y/N, out of all people, speechless?”

You nodded, still trying to process the weight of his words. “You did.”

“Then I must be doing something right,” he whispered, his face inching closer to yours. His right thumb moved in gentle strokes on your cheek, his eyes flickering down to your lips. Your heart was practically screaming for him to close the distance.

“You are.”

“Good.”

His lips met yours, and it felt like the world around you dissolved into a burst of colors. The fireworks exploding in the sky above were a perfect reflection of the kaleidoscope of emotions erupting inside you. The kiss was everything you had imagined—eager, slow, and sweet, yet filled with a warmth that made you feel completely and utterly cherished.

When he pulled away, his forehead resting gently against yours, you both stood there, eyes closed, breathing in the moment.

“Happy Fourth of July, Doll,” he whispered, his voice tender.

“Happy Fourth of July, Buck,” you replied, a soft smile playing on your lips.

He pulled you back into his arms, and you leaned into his embrace, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours. The anxiety that had been gnawing at you moments before melted away, replaced by a deep sense of peace. There was no need for words or fears right now—only the quiet understanding that you both felt safer, happier, and more complete when you were together.

The fireworks continued to crackle and pop overhead, painting the night sky in vivid colors, but all you could focus on was the warmth of Bucky’s arms around you and the way he made you feel like the most important person in the world.

“You're my favorite, you know?” you whispered, almost afraid to say it out loud, but needing him to know.

Bucky’s breath hitched, and for a moment, you worried you’d said too much, too soon. But then he tilted your chin up, his blue eyes shining with an emotion so pure it took your breath away.

“I think… I think I’m falling…” His voice trailed off as the rooftop door burst open, and in came Steve, Sam, and Thor, with what looked like Asgardian liquor in tow. Steve’s eyes were glistening as he shouted, “Bucky!!!” sounding like a little schoolboy as he slung an arm around Thor’s shoulder.

You could tell Bucky was flustered, a bit annoyed at the interruption, but seeing Steve—Captain America—drunk on the Fourth of July? It was a sight that would put a smile on anyone’s face, and it did. A shit-eating grin broke out across Bucky’s face.

“Lady Y/N!” Thor’s voice boomed, “It’s been far too long! I come bearing gifts!” His smile gleamed as he handed you and Bucky each a glass of what you assumed was incredibly strong Asgardian alcohol.

Before you could respond, Steve abruptly picked you up and spun you around, eliciting a scream of laughter as you tried not to spill your drink. “Steve!” you shrieked, holding onto him as best as you could.

“Happy Fourth of July to my best friend!” Steve announced, his voice filled with drunken joy.

“Hey, I thought I was your best friend!” Sam grinned, giving Steve a playful shove.

“Is he not?” Thor pointed at Bucky, a look of exaggerated confusion on his face. “The best friend?”

That earned a laugh from Bucky and a groan from Sam. “Yeah, yeah.”

“You’re all my best friends… you’re all my family,” Steve trailed off, tears welling in his eyes. One thing you had learned about Steve was that he was an emotional drunk.

“Okay, that’s not happening,” Bucky said, downing his drink with a smirk.

“Yeah, no crying on your birthday, Cap,” you added, still giggling from the impromptu spin.

Bucky tossed an arm around Steve’s shoulder, pulling him close. “Let’s get back to the party,” he suggested. They started to walk away, Sam beside them, but then Bucky stopped, causing the others to halt as well. He turned back to you, holding out his hand. “Doll, you coming?”

You nodded, your smile softening as you laced your fingers with his. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, his eyes lingering on yours for just a moment longer.

As you walked hand in hand, you felt a warmth settle in your chest, the kind that comes from knowing you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Bucky leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, and you knew, without a doubt, that whatever challenges lay ahead, you’d face them together.

The night might fade, and the fireworks might end, but this moment—this connection between you—felt like it could last forever.

And as you all rejoined the group, the laughter and lighthearted banter continuing around you, you held onto that feeling, knowing that, for now, this was all that mattered.

—

Bucky sat on the roof in the exact spot where you both had shared an intimate moment just a couple weeks prior. His mind was racing, and his hands shook slightly as he struggled to hold himself together. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to push back the overwhelming sense of guilt that threatened to consume him. The sound of the roof door opening and closing barely registered until Steve appeared beside him, his presence a familiar anchor in the storm of Bucky’s thoughts.

“She’ll be waking up soon,” Steve said quietly, his eyes fixed on Bucky, searching for any sign of how his friend was holding up. Bucky didn’t meet his gaze, instead hanging his head, unable to shake the weight of what he’d done.

“You owe her an explanation,” Steve continued, his voice gentle but firm. “And an apology.”

Bucky let out a shaky breath, his voice strained as he replied, “She was the only thing I felt like I was getting right, Steve, and I went and messed that up.”

“It’s not too late,” Steve reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You can fix this.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Bucky admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “Y-you didn’t see the look in her eyes. It was like the ground was being ripped out from under her. The betrayal, Steve—it was all over her face. She was there for me through everything, and I couldn’t even be there for her.”

Steve sighed, his heart aching for his friend. “Buck, this life we live is so short. You’re wasting so much time standing here with me when you should be in that room, trying to fix this mess you made.”

Bucky nodded, the weight of Steve’s words settling heavily on his shoulders. “I know.”

For a moment, they stood in silence, the cool night air brushing against their skin. Bucky’s mind replayed every moment of that night with you, the pain in your eyes, the words he wished he could take back. The bond you shared had been so strong, a rare light in the darkness of his life, and he had shattered it with his own hands.

But maybe Steve was right—maybe it wasn’t too late.

Taking a deep breath, Bucky pushed himself up, his legs feeling heavy as he forced himself to move. Steve gave him a reassuring nod, the unspoken support of a friend who had always believed in him.

“I’m scared, Steve,” Bucky confessed, his voice trembling. “What if I can’t fix it?”

Steve’s expression softened, his eyes full of understanding. “You won’t know unless you try. And if there’s one thing I know about you, Buck, it’s that you don’t give up—not on the people you care about.”

Bucky swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest as he turned toward the door. The thought of facing you, of seeing the hurt he’d caused, made his stomach twist in knots, but he knew Steve was right. He had to try. He owed you that much.

With one last glance at Steve, Bucky made his way toward the door, each step feeling like it took all the strength he had left. Every movement felt heavy, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Yet, despite the crushing guilt, there was a small, fragile hope within him—a hope that maybe, just maybe, he could make things right.

When he reached your room, Bucky paused, his hand hovering over the door handle. His heart pounded in his chest, fear clawing at him as he thought about what he might find on the other side. What if you didn’t want to see him? What if you looked at him with the same hurt and betrayal that had haunted him since that night?

His hand trembled, the weight of his emotions almost paralyzing him. He couldn’t do it—not yet. He knew his face was the last thing you’d want to see when you first woke up. Hell, he didn’t even want to see himself. The guilt was too overwhelming, the shame too deep.

So, instead of opening the door, Bucky stepped back. He let out a shaky breath and settled down the hall, just outside your room. From there, he could still hear the steady beeping of the heart monitor, still hear the faint sounds of movement from within. It was a small comfort, knowing you were okay, even if he couldn’t bring himself to face you.

He leaned against the wall, his back sliding down until he was seated on the cold floor, his knees drawn up to his chest. He buried his face in his hands, his mind racing with thoughts of what he should say, how he could possibly make amends for the pain he’d caused.

[buckybarnesandmarvel]

𝐀𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬

pairings: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: none i think

summary: you wake seb up to see the northern lights

a/n: this is in honour of the northern lights in the uk last night! sadly i missed it but i hope i'll see it tonight! this fic was originally meant to be for the jupiter sighting last year but i never got around to finishing it and it got too late, so i tweaked it a bit for this

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"Seb. Psst. Sebby. Baby. Seb. Seb. Seb." You whispered, gradually growing louder as you tried to wake the sleeping man next to you.

Sebastian groaned next to you, bringing a hand up to rub his face, squinting his eyes, adjusting them to the darkness in confusion.

"Baby. What? Are you okay? What time is it?"

“Like... 1am, but c’mon, c’mon, c’mon!” You grabbed his shoulder and shook him playfully, gently.

“And why, angel, may I ask, do you want me to get out of bed at 1am?”

You raise your brows, giving him a look, to which he looks confused, before his face lit up in an instant.

“Wait. That’s now?”

“Yes!”

Without another moment of hesitation, Sebastian threw the covers off, and threw on a t-shirt. You laughed at how eager he was, but you also relished his happiness, taking in joy from the happy, childlike smile on his face.

The two of you heard about this event earlier and immediately set an alarm for later that night, what with the both of you being space nerds. You both loved dates where you would just camp out and watch the stars for hours at a time, cuddling close, just enjoying the night sky together..

You guys quickly went to the balcony. You had done it up a few months ago after getting lucky with a big space. There was a small hammock chair swing on one end, a small table and couple of normal chairs at the other, free space in the middle.

As mid-May approached, the weather was warm, only a light breeze bristling past. Luckily, the sky was clear so you had a good view of the stars above.

The sky was illuminated in stroked of pink, purples and flickering whites, a bit of yellow, blue and green peeking through the magenta curtains of the lights. You both stood there in awe, never experiencing something of this great beauty before. You were incredibly excited as this had been on your bucket list for years.

Sebastian stood next to you, rocking back and forth on his feet. His hands were on your hips as he took in the view of the ethereal lights around him. The cars below were less frequent, only a few passing by. The neighbours’ lights were off, except for the odd one or two. The darkness on the streets gave an even clearer view of the sky, and for that, you were grateful.

"Did you bring your phone? You whisper to him. You smile as he wordlessly hands you it from his pocket. You swipe away from the picture of the both of you on the lock screen and go to the camera, taking a variety of photos you guys will cherish.

Sebastian moved around and you looked to see what he was doing, where he was going. He sat in the soft, swinging chair, pulling you towards him by the waist. You smiled and lay with him between his legs, your back against his chest. You turned slightly, angling your head to look up to him as he placed a kiss to your forehead.

You felt Sebastian's arms snake under your (his) shirt and wrap around your waist, resting on your stomach, his thumb gently stroking the skin underneath. You smile and wiggled back, getting more comfortable as you both looked up to the sky again.

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sorry this is so short!

tagging: @euphternal @chrisevansdaughter @newgirlintheneighborhood @boredum7865 @newyorkangelbaby @smoothdogsgirl @bubblessunshinehoney @youralphawolf72 @littlebluestone @friskyfisher @hallecarey1 @nana1000night let me know if you want to be added or removed!

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[cattordi]

a/n part 2 to what i wrote the other day!! glad u guys enjoyed the other

summary two weeks later, it’s memorial day and your parents throw a party. they invite all your friends and family but unexpected guest shows up.

pairings brothersbestfriend!mechanic!bucky barnes x collegestudent!reader

warnings smut, fluff, breeding, praise, not proofread, face fucking, choking, jealous!reader,foul language, orgasm denial, arguing, sir kink, rough sex, etc. 18+ MINORS DNI

part 1

pretty girl

you never thought you’d be more uncomfortable around your family, mainly your brother, than you were when bucky barnes walked in.

it’s been 2 weeks since the car debacle and you haven’t spoken since. until now, “it’s good to see you y/n.” he says absentmindedly.

you force yourself to not roll your eyes and instead give a small smile, “bucky i never got to thank you for helping my girl out the other night.” your dad says and you almost spit out your lemonade.

“no need to thank me. if y/n calls i come.” he says in the smoothest way possible, you wouldn’t suspect anything happened.

more of your family begin to arrive as the day sets in and you couldn’t be more happier.

well yeah you could be, if the most beautiful man you ever saw wasn’t burning a hole in the back of your head.

you could literally feel his gaze as you talk to your cousins by the man made fire pit.

though you couldn’t lie, you’d thought about bucky. a lot more than you’d let on. the feeling of him inside you made you wet just at the thought.

squeezing your legs together, you finally look at bucky and he’s smiling, but not at you.

at your cousin.

jealousy filled you as you took another sip of your drink and set the glass down a bit louder than you intended. “y/n, you good?” your brother ask when the sound of the glass hitting the table; catches his attention.

“i’m fine.” you say in a way so he doesn’t ask anymore questions. “just fine.”

with that, you get up and walk inside; not before sending a look buckys way that your cousin just barely missed.

you hated that he made you feel things. mentally and physically. “what have i gotten myself into?” you say as you walk into the kitchen in search of ice.

“me.” a stern voice says from behind you and you don’t have to turn around to know who it is. “y/n, are you jealous?”

“over you? no. i’m enthralled.” you begin while filling your cup with ice. a warm body comes up behind you, “lose the attitude.”

“i don’t have an attitude, i’m really en-“ you begin but his hand snakes up your chest and to your throat, “that mouth in you is gonna get you in a world of trouble with me, babydoll.”

pleasurable tears brim your eyes as his lips meet you neck. “i’ve missed you and i know you missed me.”

“in your dreams.” is all you can mutter out before you’re bent over the counter.

“what’d i tell you about that mouth?” he ask, with his grip tightening on your neck. “maybe i should put it to better use?”

nodding your head quickly, he looks around the kitchen before placing his hand under your dress and finding your uncovered pussy, dripping.

“no panties… and you’re already so wet for me.”

“yes sir.” you say and he smiles like an idiot. “oou i like that. so tell me, do you want me to fuck that pretty face of yours?”

rubbing your legs together between his hand you nod before a harsh smack is landed on your ass. “words baby. i want words.”

“yes sir, i want you to fuck my face.”

with that, he releases your throat and pushes you towards the floor. when you’re done undoing his jeans, his dick springs out at you: hard and leaking precum.

“open up darling.” he groans. as you begin opening your mouth, he plunges his length into your mouth. more tears fill your eyes as he begins thrusting into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat everytime.

his dick is so long and wide that only half of it fits in your mouth. “y/n your mouth feels so fucking good. so good.”

his movements get faster and faster. “you’re such a good slut.“ he praises and that makes you even more wet. “i’m getting close darling. don’t move.”

he slows his thrust down before removing him from your mouth. looking up at him, your makeup ruined, you pout. “you were close, why’d you stop?”

“because i’m not coming unless i’m in that tight pussy so get up.” roughly, he pulls you up and bends you over the counter again.

he bends down behind you and you can immediately feel his hot breath on your slit. “don’t move or make a sound. you cum when i tell you too. you wouldn’t want everyone outside to hear you getting fucked like a slut.”

“yes si-“ but before you can get the rest of yours words out, his mouth is on your clit, sucking and licking on you every which way.

“fuck fuck fuck fuck.” you whisper to yourself as his tongue gets faster. your knuckles are beginning to turn white as you grip the counter.

very soft moans fill the kitchen as bucky continues to eat u like a starved man. “i’m so close.” you moan and bucky slows down.

“hold it darlin.” he says while moving his head which makes his stubble run against clit. “you taste so good.”

he continues fucking you with his mouth even when you tell him you have to come. “hold it.” is his only reply.

“buck i’m gon-“ you begin but before you finish your sentence he rips his mouth from you. “holy shit darling if you have to come so bad, i wanna hear you beg for it.”

his mouth is back on you before you can reply and you let out a gasp. “can i please please please come?”

“no.” he hums on your clit. you let out a much louder moan which is rewarded with a slap to your thigh. “didnt i say don’t make a sound?”

“yes sir.” you moan out. “can i come now please sir, please.”

“hmm, come on my mouth sweet girl.”

with that, you come in his mouth with moans that are quickly hushed by his hand. “sweetheart you taste so fucking good. so good.” he says all while lapping up all the wetness rolling down your thighs.

while coming down from your high you can feel buckys hands on your waist, positioning himself inside of you. “i’m only gonna remind you one more time, don’t make a sound and don’t move. if you do so, i’m gonna have to bend you over and spank your perfect little ass.”

before you can respond, he’s pushing into you with all his force. you moan into your hand as he begins fucking you so hard every thrust moves you across the counter.

“you’re so tight darling.” he groans, “but you feel so fucking good.” his hips snap into your ass repeatedly.

“i’m getting so close buck.” you moan as his hand snakes around the front of your body to rub your clit; adding fuel to the fire.

he pulls you into his chest making him hit a different angle with every thrust, “oh fuck right there.”

“sweetheart i feel you squeezin’ me so well.” he moans slowing does his thrust.

“i’m gonna come bucky.”

“come for me sweetheart.” he says and you do.

you throw your head back at the feeling of you milking his cock. your moans get louder and louder by the second, causing him to cover your mouth and land a smack to your ass again.

the feeling of the smack makes you tighten around him again. “oh my goodness, you’re so fucking tight. making me come.” he groans as he fills you with his cum.

the warmth you feel inside is like no other as he continues to fuck through his orgasm and your own.

once you’re both down form your high, he slowly removes himself from you and gives one more slap to your ass.

nervousness takes over your features as you guys pull yourselves together. “what’s wrong sweetheart?” he ask and you shake your head.

his calm facial expression turns stern quickly, “what’s wrong?”

“this can’t happen again. my brother would murder you if he found out and my parents would disown me.” you say.

“sweetheart we’re both adults, so who says we can’t do this.”

“i thought it was common knowledge. but whatever, just know this can’t happen again.” you say and quickly head back outside. “make sure not to wait like 10 minutes before going back outside.”

no matter how much you say it’s not gonna happen again, we all know it will.