#basically i think you should first learn using basic stuff

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

[astrxealis]

super busy but hi i miss ffxiv i played again today raghh happy 10th anniv the rising event makes me cry i love ffxiv :(( but anyway! bg3 thoughts in tags!

[racke7]

New course is on web-applications.

Cool.

Teacher gives us two weeks of material at once, because he's letting us "stockpile" it for christmas (which legally we're required to study during, but which factually nobody is going to study during).

Fair enough.

50% of the first assignment is things that we don't have any material that covers. As in, we're being asked to do X, but we have been given zero instructions for how to do X. It's something we can look up, sure, but it's very blatantly not in our material.

... I'm going to have to complain to him come monday, aren't I? And hopefully this is either an intentional push to get us to look things up ourselves (annoying, especially without prior warning), or an honest mistake of "wait shit, that video wasn't included?".

[theworldgate]

I have to explain what is going on in the UK, because it is absurd.

So, this is Gary Lineker:

He's known for a fair few things over here. He was a very good (association) footballer, playing for England in the 1986 and 1990 World Cups, winning the Golden Boot in 1986, and managing to never get a single yellow card in his playing career. He played for Leicester City, Everton, Barcelona, and Tottenham, before finishing his career in Japan. But if you aren't in your mid 30s, you probably know actually know him him for a couple of other things. The first is the role of spokesman for another Leicester icon, Walkers Crisps (which are sort of equivalent to Lays, but hit different), as pictured above. Despite being a notably clean player, he used to play a cheeky serial crisp thief. I don't think he's done that for well over a decade, but his ads were on the telly a lot when I was a kid and it's a bit like learning that the hamburglar was an incredibly clean (American) football player or something.

The second thing Gary is widely known for is having presented Match of the Day, the big football program on the BBC, the sort-of state broadcaster, since 1999. He is, incidentally, very well paid for this (though with a consensus that he could get even more if he went to one of the non-free-to-view broadcasters because he is very good at the job). He also has a twitter account. And political opinions. So, the UK government has got itself dead set upon doing heinous stuff that will totally somehow work to prevent people who want to come to the UK making the perilous crossing of the Channel (between England and France). By heinous, I mean "openly advertise that they won't attempt to protect victims of modern slavery" stuff. It's very obviously using a legal hammer to victimise a marginalised group of people in order to win votes. And, uh, I should clarify that by "legal" I mean "using the passage of laws" - the policy is, in addition to all the other ways it's awful, probably incompatible with the Human Rights Act and the UK's international law obligations. Gary, top lad that he is, objected to this. On Tuesday 7th March, he made a quote Tweet of a video of the Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, bigging up the policy, he wrote "Good heavens, this is beyond awful.". This got a bunch of backlash from extremely right-wingers, and then he made the tweet that really got him in trouble (with right-wingers): "There is no huge influx. We take far fewer refugees than other major European countries. This is just an immeasurably cruel policy directed at the most vulnerable people in language that is not dissimilar to that used by Germany in the 30s, and I’m out of order?".

Now, I am not actually subjecting myself to watching a video of Suella Braverman bigging up a cruel policy to say whether the specific comparison of the language to 1930s Germany is accurate. But needless to say, Ms Braverman was amongst the many figures on the right of UK politics objecting to Gary's rhetoric. And here's the part where a fact about the BBC comes in: it is nominally neutral and impartial (and so, of course, is routinely accused of bias from all sides but particularly the right-wing), and has something of a code for its contributors to this effect. Now, that code has previously been applied to Gary Lineker, over a comment about whether governing Conservative Party would hand back donations from figures linked to the Russian regime. But it generally hasn't been applied too strongly to people like Gary, whose roles have nothing to do with politics (such as presenting a "here's what happened on the footie today" show), on the basis that, well, their roles have nothing to do with politics. However, when directly asked about whether the BBC should punish Gary Lineker for his tweets, government figures basically went "well, that's a them problem". But a couple of days passed, and it seemed like Gary's approach of "standing his ground because he did nothing wrong" was working and everything would die down. He was set to get 'a talking to' but not much more than that. The Conservative right, after all their fire and fury earlier, had gotten bored and moved onto something else. And then, on Friday 10th March, the BBC announced that he would be suspended from hosting Match of the Day this weekend. But it could still go ahead, because there are, like, other hosts! Except, well, funnily enough, when you take a beloved figure off air, for making a fairly anodyne tweet, no one wants to be the scab who actually takes up the role of replacing him. Gary's two co-hosts, Alan Shearer and Ian Wright, said that they would not appear without him. People who (co-)host Match of the Day on other days followed suit. The net result is that Match of the Day is currently set to air without hosts, BBC commentary, or global feed commentary. And the solidarity shown to Gary Lineker, over what is very flagrantly actual cancel culture and an attack on freedom of speech (the logic implied is that institutional impartiality requires that no one say anything too critical of the government ever), has continued to grow. The BBC has pretty much been unable to run pretty much any live sports content today, and has resorted to raiding the BBC Sounds archive to fill the sports radio channel. And, as of 17:30 on Saturday 11th March, the situation shows no signs of improvement, though some are calling for the Chairman Richard Sharp, who is separately facing corruption allegations, to resign (yes I linked to the BBC itself there, there is nothing, nothing, the BBC loves more than going into great detail about how much the BBC sucks).

[tpwk-formula1]

Biggest Fan - CL16

Requested by @nina-or-anna-or-nora "Heyy!! 💕 I saw you were asking some requests so I have one for an Smau!! (If you want to do it ofc) I was thinking about the reader being kinda like Sabrina or Olivia (a performer) and then Charles being like her biggest fan🤭just a super cute fluffy thing and he goes to every show he can or posts her and stuff🥹"

AN - Had so much fun writing this SMAU for you! Don't be afraid to send in requests that aren't apart of the Pizza Menu! I love Sabrina but I'm not a die hard fan so I have no idea how many outfit changes she has or the order she performs so if it's a little messed up I apologize! Also LMK if you wanna see me do this with more drivers and make it a little series of the drivers being head over heels for their girl friend!

Summary: Just Charles being in love with Y/N... and basically everyone in the F1 community!

Charles insta stories over the fall break

Twitter

Charles instagram

Liked by landonorris, youruser, carlossainz, and 2,090,513 others

charlesleclerc We're ready for you Austin ft. Y/N and all the fan gifted hats that will make an appearance this weekend tagged carlossainz and youruser

user5 I love how he makes a post for work and still finds a way to get Y/N in there

user6 your honor... it's them. It's always them!

youruser I'm ready to be back in my home soil!

user7 I constantly forget our girl is from the US charlesleclerc you mean MY girl user8 Charles will never learn to share charlesleclerc not when it comes to MY Y/N youruser alright calm it down you charlesleclerc yes maam

user9 I hate feeling single but I do love you guys!

carlossainz Will I ever get a post with just us?

user10 Carlos... they're a package deal user11 If I don't expect anything less, you shouldn't either youruser damn... catching strays carlossainz Y/N I thought we were friends!

load more comments

Your insta story

user12 how does it feel to be living my dream

carlossainz he's been smiling at his phone for 10 minutes because you posted him

youruser I love knowing he loves me as much as I love him

user13 his eyes

charlesleclerc that's one lucky man

youruser he really is!

user14 I love the way you guys love each other

landonorris you guys disgust me with how cute you are together

youruser you wish this was you huh? landonorris I miss when you were to shy to interact with us... kinda a meanie youruser you'll learn to survive

Twitter

your Instagram

Liked by charlesleclerc, yourbff, oliviarodrigo, and 3,092,172 others

youruser Thanks for the warm welcome home... see you in a few weeks for Vegas!

Look for a surprise tomorrow around noon YeeHaw time!

charlesleclerc Ooooo I wanna know the surprise

user18 I can't believe I have notifications on and Charles is still here before me

charlesleclerc you snooze you lose! gotta be quicker than that! youruser love you need to be a bit nicer! user18 no this is on me... I should know no matter how much I love you Charles just loves you that much more! user19 I'm sobbing at this! Charles is so unhinged when it comes to Y/N

landonorris Can I also know the surprise

charlesleclerc NO!

user20 YeeHaw time is SENDING me! For anyone confused she's talking about CST

user21 THANK YOU! It makes so much sense now that you've explained but as a non F1 Y/N fan I didn't realize she was in Texas haha

user22 I love their height difference. I forget just how SMALL Y/N is.

Your Insta Story

charlesleclerc I can't wait to watch you!!

user23 HOLY SHIT! I can't fucking wait!

user24 omg! I'm so excited for this!!

landonorris: I hope you have a ticket saved with my name on it!

youruser: I do including the rest of the grid... spread the word pleaseeee

user25: Oh to be in the US rn to experience this concert! I just know it's gonna be amazing

Twitter

Charles Insta story during the show

Max's Insta story during the show

Youruser: Max! hahaha you had me cracking up in the first slide... then tearing up through laughter in the second. Thank you so much for finding time in your title fight to support!

maxverstappen1: I wouldn't have missed it! Had to see what all the hype was about. Please invite me again

Grid Members Stories (Lando, Carlos, Oscar, Yuki, Liam, Franco)

[rensylph]

Your newest post about yandere husbands got me thinking about how would they react if lets say a little divorce was to get suggested...By suggested I mean left on their office desk, ready to he signed as their precious (ex) wife is already out of the house

Even tho I'm not doing ask right now, this is too good to resist, and when I was reading this the song "divorce, beheaded, died" pops up

𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃

You leaving divorce papers on his table and leaving without a word , leaving him in the cold

Characters : ayato, diluc, kaeya, zhongli, alhaitham, wriostheley, neuvillete

Ayato

When he discovered the divorce papers and your stuff being gone, he may look calm on the outside but is mad at you as well finding it amusing, because the audacity of you leaving him or even thinking you have a choice of leaving he will send the shimatsuban to capture you quickly before you could leave inazuma and dock a ship to liyue harbor.

If you already have left the Nation, ayato would use overseas or send shimatsuban to kidnap you and send you back towards him, quickly the commissioner is not patient if his wife becomes a subject.

And when you were kidnapped back and was presented towards him with your hands being tied, he will look at you with disdain saying how he feels hurt by the stunt you perform and laughs at you for thinking you could leave, for now on your not allowed to wonder outside freely even in the estate, if you want to go out you have to go to ayato and you will be accompanied by shuutmasuban following behind you to make sure you will not run. Maybe he should put a baby in you to prevent you from leaving

Diluc

When he discovers the paper, he will be outside his offices and call for a staff meeting, he will question every maid and butler whenever they see you and what time did you leave, soon he goes out and ventures for you.

If your hiding mondstat diluc would knock on the residential your living in and command for your return immediately it's an order you have no choice, he will knock you out and carry you back on to dawn winery

The staff are commanded to not leave you alone or not letting you go outside of the room, he will use anything to keep you from living even chaining you in the basement when you try to run away again.

Kaeya

How amusing, he finds it hilarious, you leaving him. He thought you and his relationship was before I mean if you ignored how he basically forced you to marry him.

He manages to catch up on you half way journey, how the heck he manages to make it there much faster than you or how he knows that you were there in the first place is a mystery, he will drag you back on if you resist he knock you out

At home if you still tried to leave, kaeya will use his vision to freeze your legs to prevent you leaving, he will spoon feed and baby you and if you resist he reminds you he could break your legs since it's frozen and he will start to talk about children.

Zhongli

Bold of you to assume that you could leave him, the contract you were forced to sign prevents you to leave liyue borders as well works as a tracking device for you, the geo sigil behind your neck is a mark of ownership over you.

He will immediately ask xiao to retrieve you or any available Adepti to aid your search on you, it wouldn't take long before where you were taken to Mt aocang seeing your husband peacefully sipping tea as if this is just a small matter.

You will be imprisoned underground by your husband as punishment, since you are a half Adepti, he will keep you there as long you managed to learn your lessons, some days he will bring you food and entertainment for your time in the prison and if you managed to run away again he has no choice but to petrified you, turning you into a statue he could admire and you are still conscious when your a statue so you will be force to see your body being smothered and used by him and unable to do anything

Alhaitham

This is not what he was expecting a divorce papers on his desk as well your stuff being gone in your shared home. So he's gonna start to hatch a plan to where you may be and how to bring you back.

He finds you at Aaru village playing with the children, he already told the village chief he wants to bring you back since your not mentally well and is a danger towards everyone in Aaru Village so when he was dragging you no one bats an eye.

Alhaitham uses the Akasha system to trap you in your house by constantly shifting your mind to be an obedient wife as well as chaining your legs for you unable to walk.

Wriostheley

What is this everything was going so perfectly until you had to ruin everything, he leaves sigewine to handle the fortress while he searches for you in the surface world.

And when you were dragged back, wriostheley personality requested sigewine to create a Medicine that limits your way of thinking and you were forced to drink it everyday for you to be stuck in the fortress.

No one is willing to go against the duke he ruled over the fortress, even when you release cries of despair and it echoes in the fortress no one is brave enough to go against the duke, they just shut their eyes and mouth and continue on their work.

Neuvillete

Oh how sorrowful, everyday Fontaine will be plagued with the largest storm for a week until he finds you, focalors even make comments about the endless storm that has befall on Fontaine, the storm wouldn't stop unless you're by his side again. The gardemaks outside of Fontaine are task to find you.

And when you were back, neuvillete would immediately ask why would you leave him did he did something wrong to anger you causing you to flee from him while tears are coming out of him, he will interrogate your reason why are you leaving him, since he's the judge and ludex of Fontaine he rejects your request for a divorce. He even uses the melusine to guilt trip.

You will be trapped in your house and watch over the melusine and garde marks, you are on under strict rules of house arrest. He personally curses you to stay with him and is unable to leave fontaine.

[olderthannetfic]

I hear this so often, including from people doing seriously high-level crochet, so there's clearly something going on here.

A youtuber commented recently that she thinks she's cracked it: crochet gets ever more complicated, so crocheters find the first learning curve of knitting hard and assume it's going to be a nightmare from there on out... except knitting isn't like that. It's a little difficult to figure out which hand goes where while you're learning the basic knit and purl stitches, but after that, it's all the same stuff forever. There's another little hump if you're learning stranded colorwork or cables or brioche or whatever, but lots of patterns don't use those, and each is still just that initial little learning curve and then downhill thereafter.

TBH, I don't crochet enough to know if it just gets harder and harder, but that's what this person thought, and it's an interesting theory.

Another issue is that knitting notation varies pattern-to-pattern. There should be a key in the beginning of a decent pattern, and youtube has a lot of tutorials explaining different stitches and techniques.

--

If you want to learn to knit, pull up any youtube tutorial on the basic stitches, then go make this:

Yeah, it's a chunky weight sweater, which I'm not a huge fan of, but seriously, just go make a sweater. It will probably take you a month max if you spend a lot of time on it.

--

If you want to make that dragon cloak everyone's been reblogging from me lately, I haven't given it a try yet, but I remember looking at the description, and the designer says it's technically a lace pattern, but without visible holes. Lace isn't easy, but it isn't all that hard either.

Go knit one of these:

Or one of these:

[penkura]

where you belong [2/10]

Summary: As Luffy's big sister, you've viewed it to be your job to see him become King of the Pirates in place of your absent parents, even as you try to find where it is you belong in the world. You never really expected to draw the attention of Trafalgar Law in the process.

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x Fem!reader

Warnings: Discussion of feelings of abandonment, age gap relationship (four years), brief secret relationship, mentions and heavy refences to sex, mentions of alcohol, typical One Piece stuff. Other warnings to be added if needed.

Note: Sorry this has taken so long! I wanted to really progress these two and get some moments between them, so the chapter ended up bigger than planned! Next one is a good one I think. ;) Forgot to mention last time but Reader is going to be described as shorter than Law, and that height difference can be your own interpretation (I'm 5ft tall, these men would tower over me).

I am also FLOORED at how well received the first chapter was and that we've got a taglist for this series, my gosh. You guys are so sweet and wonderful!! If I missed you on the taglist PLEASE let me know and I will add you to the future chapters! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and the beginning of Law and Reader falling for each other!

Taglist:

@pinksaiyans | @sukunas-play-thing | @spiderlily-w1tch-blog | @mineymak | @valen-yamyam16 | @shimmerxc | @luffy0s | @fluffybunnyu | @laws-wife-things | @crmnic

[Ch. 1]

You spend the next week learning more about the Polar Tang and the Heart Pirates themselves, Law taking most of your time to help you get used to things. He's made sure you understand the basic rules of the ship, for his crew, including the boiler suits, and what do in case of certain emergencies. You’re going to be working on your poisons in his office, in case anything happens, he can help you fix it. You’re honestly grateful for the time everyone has taken to help you get your bearings straight and work out where things are. You’ll be sharing a room with Ikkaku, who is so glad to have another girl aboard for as long as you are. She’s already started sharing some gossip with you, pointing out those involved so you knew who was who on top of it all.

Penguin has been extremely kind and helpful, telling you that you’re welcome to join him for night watches once you tell him you spend a lot of time writing during your shifts on the Sunny.

Shachi and Uni both showed you around some of the major maintenance areas, both promising they’d help you learn the most basic things so you can be of help if needed.

You’re about to join Bepo for a quick navigation lesson before their captain calls you, wanting to discuss somethings with you before you got too far away.

Law, although he agreed to letting you stay with him and his crew, still isn’t entirely sure what to do with you. There’s still that strange feeling in his chest when you smile at him, as you thank him for all his help and allowing you to stay, once he brings you to his office again a few days later, and he waves you off.

“You don’t have to thank me constantly.”

“I know,” you smile again and he feels that feeling that’s been hanging around, but Law tries to ignore it, “I’m just…really grateful. I know my being here may be a burden—”

“Not a burden, you’re welcome here. Everyone’s glad you’re staying around for now.”

Hearing that makes you brighten up, as Law starts to question you more about what you do for the Straw Hats, and what you can bring to his crew in the meantime. You list off everything you’ve come to learn about being at sea from being a Straw Hat, Law making mental notes on other things to ask about later.

“Any other special talents we should know about?”

You start to think, pressing a finger to your chin while you do so. Another action Law has to tell himself isn’t cute, before you grin and lean in close to him, quietly speaking.

“I can see the dead.”

Complete silence as Law raises an eyebrow at you as you continue to grin, halfway expecting him to ask for proof. Ask you to tell him about a spirit that might be hanging around the Polar Tang, or around one his crewmembers, but he doesn’t ask anything, eventually returning to a straight face.

“No you can’t.”

“…okay fine, I can’t. It’d be cool though!”

He rolls his eyes, which makes you laugh in return. Law goes to let you out of his office which you oblige by, knowing he’s done talking with you now that you’ve made your joke. He stops you with a hand on your shoulder first, you giving him a questioning look.

“I’ll help you make antidotes for your poisons. But you won’t use my crew as test subjects.”

“Ha! That’s fine, I don’t test on people anyway, just in case. Just give me some fish and I can use those.”

Giving him another grin, you walk ahead saying Bepo was going to show you something next, but Law had rudely interrupted by wanting to know what you could bring to his crew for the next two years. You’ll promise later to make extra batches of antidote for him to keep in his medicine stockpile, while Law watches you hurry down the hall and sighs.

“That’s the wrong way.”

He’s quick to follow you, grabbing your arm and bringing you back the right way, deciding he’ll join you and Bepo for whatever it was you two were discussing next. He wants to ensure you’re being given correct information and know what to do in an emergency, especially so if you need medical attention.

Atta boy, Law.

If you really could see the dead, you’d have noticed the tall, blond man with makeup and a large, black feathered coat pushing Law towards you.

+!+

“We’re approaching a winter island, everyone needs to be ready to disembark for a bit and—”

“A winter island?!”

Your outburst causes Law to stop speaking with a nod at you, and you’re gone to the crew bunks in an instant, followed by Bepo who is just as excited. Law gives a look to Ikkaku and Uni, who you’d been talking to when he came in, and both simply shrug at him. They all briefly noticed a sparkle in your eyes as you ran off, likely to change clothes and get ready to disembark, but none of them knew your intent or real interest in the snow.

It's only when Law catches you by the exit door with Bepo, excitedly talking with the Polar bear mink about what you could do in the snow, all dressed up in your coat, thick pants, boots and gloves. You and Bepo trade ideas back and forth about what to build out of the snow, or if you can get a snowball fight started.

Law hasn’t seen someone so excited for snow in a long time, he thinks not since the last winter with Lami.

Penguin joins you and Bepo by the door next, throwing an arm around your shoulders and giving you a smile.

“What’re you so excited about some snow for?”

“It practically never snows in my home town! I think it snowed maybe twice while Luffy and I lived there? Chopper is from a winter island, so when we were there, it was so exciting!”

“Haha, I’m from the North Blue, so snow is pretty normal up there. Well…the area me and Shachi are from anyway.”

“Ah,” you give a little sigh but smile yourself, “I’m so jealous. What about Trafalgar?”

“That’s…well, kind of different, but we did meet him where we used to live,” looking over his shoulder, Penguin sees Law but leans into whisper, “Probably better if you ask him another time. It’s…a lot…”

Before you have a chance to question it, Law comes up behind Penguin and tells him to go ahead with opening the door, the Polar Tang should be stable enough for you all to leave now. You put that question into the back of your mind for later, instead running out with Bepo as soon as the door opens. The excitement both of you have is almost contagious, as the rest of the Heart Pirates slowly join you outside. While some of them are tasked with scoping out the island, the rest end up with you and Bepo building snowmen for a while, though you and the mink end up making a snow polar bear the best you can even if it looks a little goofy in the end. Some pieces are a little larger than others but you still think it’s cute, even as your companion bows his head apologetically.

“I’m sorry, [Y/N], I made some things a little too big.”

“No, that’s okay, Bepo! It gives it charm, I think he’s cute!”

You reassure Bepo a few times with a smile, before the two of you go to work with others on more snow sculptures. It goes well until you get hit in the face with a snowball, thrown by Hakugan at Shachi who dodged just in time. While it makes you sneeze a bit as you brush the snow off your face, with Bepo and Ikkaku yelling at Hakugan while he shouts apologies and Shachi nearly cackles, it doesn’t upset you at all really. Yeah it kind of hurt to have a snowball hit you in the face, but hey, you mentioned a snowball fight earlier, right?

Crouching down to gather up some snow, you put on a wicked grin and fling the ball at Hakugan yourself, catching him in the back as he turns away while you laugh.

“How about a warning next time?!”

“Yeah, snowball fight!!”

Most everyone joins in, gathering up all the snowballs they could or just throwing loose snow at each other, Law watches from the side, a slight smile on his face. He’s glad everyone can take a bit to relax and enjoy themselves, he’s not sure he’s seen his crew this excited about snow in a long time, even Shachi who grew up in the North Blue. Some of you group up to get an advantage over others, Law turns to ignoring the snowball fight as Penguin and Uni come back with what they found on the island.

All is well until Law is hit in the back of the head with a snowball, keeping himself upright but turning quickly to search through everyone and find who did it as you all quiet down seeing his glare. Not a single person looks him in the eye, but they all point to you, while you cover your mouth with your hand and try to stifle your laughter.

“S-Sorry, Trafalgar,” a giggle escapes you as you glance over to him, “I… I was… hehe… aiming for Penguin… honest!”

“Oh yeah…?” Law’s voice is low, he crouches down to scoop up some snow, locking eyes with you as yours widen and you turn to run, but realize it’s futile when Law uses his Shambles to catch up and grab you, shoving the snow he’d gathered into your coat and making you screech before everyone returns to the snowball fight.

“That’s cruel!!”

“Everyone get Captain, he’s cheating!’

While the rest of the Heart Pirates aim for Law, you and their captain are honed in on each other, trading blows from snowballs for the longest time, your personal goal to knock his hat off as payback for shoving snow down your back. Luckily you’re not the one to hit him hard enough to knock the spotted hat off, but you’re close enough to grab before he does, sticking it on your own head and playing keep away once Law realizes where it’s at.

“Looks good on me, huh, Trafalgar?! I might keep it!”

“The hell you will, that’s mine!”

Once Law catches you, he doesn’t let go until he’s snatched his hat back off your head and returned it to its rightful place, keeping a grip on your arm as he notices the sky starting to get darker. The rest of the crew has settled down, stopping at first to watch you and Law until a new snowfall began.

You forget for a few minutes that Law has a hold of your arm, it’s not uncomfortable, but you feel your heart pick up a bit from it.

“It’s pretty….the snowfall.”

He nods, finally noticing he still has a hold of you and letting go, disappointment flooding you as Law calls for everyone to return to the ship. Tomorrow will be a day in town to restock, you’ll all take off again afterwards.

You volunteer at dinner to make everyone the lavender milk tea that Makino once taught you, most of the crew enjoying it, but you’re especially surprised by Law liking it, even telling you so.

It's the small smile he gives when you thank him that makes you realize you just might be starting to get a crush on him.

+!+

Law knows something is up when you don’t join the rest of the Heart Pirates for a meeting before being let off the ship. He still does his job as captain, giving out duties to everyone so they knew what to do and who would be stocking supplies, who would be checking for wanted posters, and anything he felt needed to be done this time. He’d planned for you to join him on a once around the island to look for anything of interest, but when you don’t show up, he knows something must be wrong.

“Ikkaku-ya,” Law stops your roommate before she gets too far, Ikkaku giving him her full attention, “Where’s [Y/N]-ya?”

“Oh, um…” Ikkaku shuffles from one foot to the next, not fully looking at her captain and that’s what worries him more, until she speaks again, “She isn’t feeling well…she’s not sick so she doesn’t need a check-up but, it might be best to leave her alone today, probably tomorrow too…”

That leads to Law believing your cycle had started, and he chooses not to question it further, lest he or Ikkaku feel embarrassed about the discussion. He decides to leave you be, you’ll probably join them tomorrow for island exploring, most likely with Penguin if he asks you especially. When you do show up for dinner that evening, you’re quieter than usual and Law notices how Penguin and Ikkaku are the ones to talk with you. He can’t hear anything they say, but seeing you at least smile and respond to them is enough for him to think that everything is fine, you’re just not feeling 100% and that makes sense. He’s heard you and Ikkaku complain about cramps and the like the last few months, he already knows the first day is hard for you, so he lets it go. At least you’re out and talking to everyone.

But he knows something is up the next time it happens, not even two weeks later, and it can’t be blamed on your period this time. You don’t show up to a crew meeting, you still aren’t one of his crewmates but you’ve been joining for anything interesting or important, and Law doesn’t let it show that he's a little more worried, so he stops Penguin this time and asks him the same thing, where are you and why didn’t you show up?

Penguin doesn’t fully look at Law, scratching the back of his head as he tries to find the words.

“She…just isn’t up for it today, Cap. Maybe we should let her have the day off…”

Although Law tells Penguin that’s fine, he does go off to find you, the door to your and Ikkaku’s room barely open, but he knocks to make sure you’re not indecent or anything. There’s no answer so he opens the door, not seeing you anywhere, the new assumption being that you’re in the bathroom. He turns his attention there, again knocking on the door.

“[Y/N]-ya, Penguin-ya said you weren’t felling well, are you all right?”

No response, Law furrows his brow and knocks again, saying your name a little louder this time. He swears he hears a small whimper and a sob, and that’s what makes him finally open the bathroom door, simply saying he’s coming in before doing so, but he nearly freezes when he sees you.

Nearly curled up into a ball in the corner, head buried in your arms wrapped around your knees with numerous used tissues and he just knows that if you looked up at him, he’d feel that strange feeling in his chest again, or one of heartbreak, he isn’t entirely sure which one.

Law is not trying to scare you, but when he touches your hand and says your name a third time, it makes you jump and look up at him with wide, tear filled eyes, you feel beyond embarrassed that he’s caught you like this, but it quickly turns to more tears and a bit of anger.

“Are you—”

“Get out! Go away!!” Law barely dodges the box of tissues when you throw it at him, he’s not able to dodge the mascara you toss at his head as you keep yelling at him to leave. He doesn’t really move to leave until you stand up much too quickly and start pushing him out, he’s just surprised at your reaction to him finding you crying. “Leave me alone!!”

Once he’s out the door you almost slam it shut in his face and lock it, Law doesn’t know what to make of this really.

He can handle physical ailments, mental is a little harder for him but he’s working on it for his crew, yet emotional problems are not in his wheel house at all. He doesn’t really know why you’re locked in the bathroom, hiding in a corner crying, but that look on your face gave him an idea. He recognizes it from his own past, after his family and Flevance, then again after Corazon.

It was pure grief that was written on your face, definitely from your still fresh loss of Ace, and Law isn’t sure how to help you.

He doesn’t know if he should help you, you just might turn all your grief inward and ignore any hands held out for help, even from your new friends let alone him.

“Captain? Why are you…oh.”

Ikkaku finds Law still in your room several minutes later, staring at your bathroom door, until he hears her and looks at her, an expression she can’t read on his face.

“How long?”

“A few weeks now,” she sits on the edge of her bed, not looking at Law now, “It happens randomly it seems like, or something reminds her of Ace and sets her off. His birthday is soon, so that might be it right now. Penguin and I promised we wouldn’t let anyone know, so she could grieve alone.”

“Why was it being kept a secret?”

She shrugs a bit, Law isn’t sure he’s going to get many more answers today, but then Ikkaku speaks up again.

“She doesn’t want to burden anyone with her feelings, I guess. She should be fine by dinner, Captain, she just… needs some time.”

While she is correct, and you show up again at dinner looking normal but still with a sadness on your face that he can see, Law wonders if there’s something he can do to help you. Your need to grieve and have that time alone isn’t a bad thing, he won’t deny you that when you need it, but he wants to do something for you, he still doesn’t know you well enough to know that exactly you need, but anything is better than letting you be alone.

He knows all too well how that feels.

When it happens a third time, several weeks later, you don’t show up once again, Law doesn’t even need to look at Penguin or Ikkaku, they won’t meet his eyes anyway. After he lets everyone else go, his next mission is to find you, even though he knows exactly where you are. Law isn’t sure if his plan is going to work, but he wants you to stop hiding away from everyone when you break down. It’s not because he’s angry about it, he just doesn’t want you to continue suffering alone. It’s not good for anyone to do that.

He doesn’t even knock when he gets to your room, but does so when he sees your bathroom door is closed like the last time.

“[Y/N]-ya, I’m coming in.”

“No,” you force back a sob, making sure the door is locked, “Go away!”

“I won’t.”

You haven’t experienced all the abilities Law has at his disposal, but you aren’t that surprised when you see a blue hue, and he’s in the bathroom with you not even a moment later. He’s not phased by you attempting to throw things at him again, even while you yell at him to leave you alone, you don’t need help, you don’t need anyone right now.

You’ve handled things like this by yourself your whole life, why would need help now?

“I don’t need help!”

“I’m not trying to help.”

“Then lea—”

Law doesn’t give you much more room to talk, instead grabbing your wrist and pulling you into a hug, pressing your face into his chest which causes your eyes to widen a bit and tears to flow even more.

“I’m not trying to help,” Law holds you tightly, feeling a just a bit of relief as you slowly wrap your arms around him in return while you return to crying, “but you don’t have to be alone, all right?”

“T-Trafalgar…I…I just—”

“I know, I get it. But,” he knows it’s probably going to sound hypocritical based on his own issues, but Law still feels the need to say it again, “you don’t have to do this alone.”

Law isn’t entirely sure why he’s chosen to let you cry into him, let you grip onto his shirt like he’s the only thing holding you to the earth while you continue to cry and say how it isn’t fair that Ace died, that you lost another brother (he’s going to have to ask about that later, that’s the second time you’ve mentioned it). Maybe it’s because he didn’t have anyone back then, when he lost his own loved ones. It might be that, because he saw a reflection of himself in you the first time he found you hiding away and struggling to handle your grief. While you drag the two of you to the floor, Law simply adjusts to as comfortable a position he can, he’s at least sure you’ll both be there a while. You don’t show any signs of calming any time soon.

Law doesn’t know why he came after you, but once your cries fade to nothing, not even whimpers, he’s relieved to hear you speaking to him without being upset or between sobs of anger and sadness.

“I’m sorry…for crying all over your shirt again…”

“Don’t be. It’ll wash.”

Law strokes your hair a bit while you finally smile, nodding, before he helps you up off the floor. While you wash your face, Law directs you to not worry about helping anyone out with chores or sharing shifts today, he’s already split everything up among his crew, you’re under strict orders from the doctor to rest and recover from your breakdown. He does offer to bring you something to eat and drink, which you take him up on, stopping him before he fully leaves your room.

“Thank you…Law, I appreciate this…”

He’s completely aware that’s the first time you’ve used his first name, and he notices a different feeling in his chest. It’s not the same, almost heart squeeze he’s felt before, but something more comforting. Warm almost, and he’s starting to get it more.

“You’re welcome, [Y/N]-ya.”

Ah, that’s what it is…

Law realizes he’s starting to have feelings for you, though he decides to push them down for now.

He’s not going to use your weakened emotional state to push himself further into your life, not when he doesn’t even know if he’s okay with these feelings or not. For now, he’s going to do what he said and bring you some lunch, he’ll deal with these feelings later.

It is nice to hear you call him by his given name though.

+!+

“You’re as reckless as your brother.”

You giggle a bit while Law continues to wrap bandages around your arm, shooting you a small glare while you laugh. He’s not amused, mostly because it was him you’d tried to protect and ended up getting hurt over. You shoved him out of the way of an enemy attack, receiving a deep slice across your own arm instead. Once he realized what happened, Law was furious with you, even though he knows you aren’t part of his crew, it didn’t change the fact he was trying to protect you for Luffy while your crew was apart. You were lucky, he’d told you after he forced you to the infirmary, that your attacker’s weapon didn’t have any poison on it. You’d probably be dead before he even got you there if it had been.

You just grinned and said it was the opposite, your attacker was lucky your knife didn’t have poison on it, or he’d be in worse shape than he already was from your perfect aim hitting him between the shoulders. It doesn’t cause Law any relief to hear that, he still glares and it makes you start to shrink away, averting your gaze elsewhere.

You two still don’t know each other very well, it’s only been a few months since Luffy tossed you to him as the Heart Pirates left Amazon Lily. Still, you’ve found Law is fiercely protective of his crew, his family, just as you are with the Straw Hats, and while you’re with them, you count as one of his crewmembers.

The feelings you’ve started to develop for him don’t help much, Ikkaku being the only one who knows since you’ve told her how distraught you feel over it.

How could you start falling for a rival pirate captain? It’s only a crush but it makes you feel like you’re betraying your crew sometimes.

“Law, I’m fi—”

“And what if you weren’t?” He’s nearly grinding his teeth and ties off your bandage a little tighter than he intended, making you take a sharp breath. “What would you want me to tell your brother?”

You shrug, starting to play with the end of the bandages to distract yourself from him. “Could just tell him I protected you.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” you jump when Law slams down the scissors on the metal plate, keeping his back to you so you don’t see how upset he really is, “My crew knows I don’t need it. They know to run if a battle might cost them their lives. Why can’t you see that?”

“Because I do this for my crewmates, too. I’ve even pushed Zoro and Sanji out of the way. I’m sorry if you don’t like it but—”

“Sorry wouldn’t bring you back from the dead.”

You both become silent, you taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment before nodding and biting your lip.

“You’re right…that’s why Ace isn’t back.”

“Hey, I didn’t—”

“Thanks for bandaging me up, Trafalgar,” Law turns around just as you jump off the table, going to leave, “I’ll see you at dinner.”

Law watches you leave, letting out a frustrated sigh once you’re gone. He really hadn’t meant to upset you, it just came out, but it was also the truth. What good was ‘sorry’ if you had died and he had to tell Luffy that he'd lost another sibling, this time a blood related one? He didn’t want to have to deal with that, not when you and Luffy were still getting over Ace’s death.

He gets it, he really does, that pain doesn’t go away quickly, no matter how many false smiles you give to him or the others, or how often you laugh with them. No matter how many times he finds you crying the bathroom over you grief. It hasn’t been that long, he doesn’t expect you to be whatever is normal for you so soon. He probably shouldn’t be berating you, you’re not part of his crew so he doesn’t have the right, Law isn’t your captain.

But, you’re under his care for two years, you’re a temporary member of his crew, so you should listen to him. You’re proving to be as stubborn as Luffy is, but also just as protective as Law is.

And your progress with him, ugh. You’d finally gotten comfortable enough to call him by his first name, and now you’re back to calling him Trafalgar instead. Seven months of progress down the drain all because he was concerned, worried about you being reckless.

…why am I so worried though?

He could easily chalk it up to the fact you’re Luffy’s sister and he’s trying to protect you until you’re back with your crew, or he could even say its because of the feelings he’s developed for you, but Law doesn’t want to get into that right now.

Neither of you speak until dinner, when you run into each other right outside the kitchen and start a back and forth about who should go in first.

“You’re the captain, sir.”

“Ladies first, miss.”

You don’t like being formal, or hearing him call you ‘miss’, but you don’t want to fight about it. Not when his crew can hear and might be concerned about it.

“Crew shouldn’t eat without their captain there.”

“We don’t have that rule around here.”

Eventually you relent and go first, getting your food and taking the first free seat by Ikkaku, Law sitting beside you a moment later. You don’t talk to each other the whole time, you focus on your conversation with Ikkaku while Law responds to anyone speaking to him. You barely even notice when Law takes the roll he really didn’t want to have on his plate, and moves it to yours, almost like a peace offering that you two are okay, he’s not mad at you for trying to protect him anymore. You do give him a smile when you notice, which he returns with a nod before leaving for his room.

You sigh a bit, looking back to your plate and keeping your smile to yourself.

Things will be okay.

+!+

Over the last nearly ten months, Law has learned a few of your quirks. When you work on your poisons, you mark things three times over to ensure you have the correct amounts listed, you almost always strike up conversation with him about anything that comes to mind, even if Law doesn’t answer you.

Sometimes he’s caught you biting your pencil or pen while making notes, it’s one of your cuter quirks.

On nights you can’t sleep, like tonight, he can easily find you in the kitchen, brewing up some tea to help you fall asleep, and that’s where Law decides he has to talk to you. You’ve both moved past your argument from a few months ago, it’s like it never happened now, but he feels the need to speak with you about something important.

No, not his feelings, he’s going to ignore those as long as possible. He recognized them after you’d had an emotional breakdown, he’s not going to admit that especially, he doesn’t want you to think he has a kink for crying or something, absolutely not.

“Hey.”

“Oh, hey, Law,” you look over your shoulder for a second with a smile, turning back to your tea, “Couldn’t sleep, though some tea might help.”

“Your usual then?”

Nodding, as you finish off your tea making, Law sits at the table and waits for you to join him, knowing you’ve made him a cup of lavender milk tea too. You’d started doing that and either taking it to his office before you head to bed or having him join you in the kitchen where you have small conversations before you both turn in for the night.

You’ve gotten quite comfortable with Law, your own feelings for him aside. He’s been helpful with your poison and antidote creations, ensuring your ratios are correct and helping you when they aren’t. You’ve started discussing books you’ve both read, you were shocked to find he enjoyed the Sora Warrior of the Sea comics. His being such a nerd over them never struck you as odd thankfully, Law even letting you borrow a few of his copies so you can give it a try yourself.

He makes you feel safe and comfortable, you really enjoy being with Law.

Law thanks you when you hand over the mug of tea, taking your seat across from him to enjoy your own, settling into a welcomed silence. With how rowdy his crew can be at times, you get why Law hides himself away in his office most of the time, and you’re grateful that he lets you share the space when needed.

“I know you said I didn’t have to,” Law looks over to you as you speak, an eyebrow raised, “but thank you again, for letting me stay. I really appreciate the help you’ve given me.”

“Like I’ve said, its no problem. Everyone’s glad you’re here.”

I’m more than glad you’re here.

There’s a soft smile on your face that Law enjoys seeing, and he honestly hopes you won’t lose it after he talks to you.

“I wanted…to tell you something.”

“Go for it,” setting your mug down on the table, you rest your elbows there with your chin in your hands, “I’m all ears, Law.”

He's almost fighting himself on if he should or shouldn’t, maybe another time. It’s late after all, you probably want to go to bed now that you’ve had your tea. It’s making him sleepy too, but the anxiety he feels is almost nullifying the tea’s effects.

Taking a deep breath, Law finally speaks up again, not meeting your eye.

“I want to tell you about my past,” that makes you perk up, remembering what Penguin had said to you months ago, “But I don’t think I can tonight. It’s…”

“A lot…?”

He nods, which you return, realizing this must be more than what Penguin could’ve meant, it has to be hard for Law to dredge up whatever memories he has of his childhood and teenage years, of everything that led him to where he is now.

Everything that’s leading him down the path he’s chosen.

“So,” when he finally looks up at you, you’re not surprised at how tired Law looks, it has to be taking a lot for him to do this, “I want to set a time in a few days, where you and I can sit, and I can tell you everything. “

You need to know before I could ever tell you my feelings anyway.

“Law,” Nodding, you quietly reach out your hand to his, not wanting to scare him off, “Just tell me whenever, and I’ll make myself available to listen, okay?”

After he agrees, Law offers to walk you back to your shared room with Ikkaku, which you take him up on even though you know the way. The Polar Tang is only so big, but it’s nice to have him by your side. Once you reach your door, Law turns to leave and you stop him, grabbing his shirt sleeve and leaning up, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, his eyes widening just a hair.

“Thanks for walking me…and trusting me, Law. See you in the morning.”

You don’t give him a chance to say anything in response before you enter your room and close the door, sighing heavily as you bring yourself to the floor, Ikkaku watching you from her bed.

“Man, you’ve got it bad for the captain, huh?”

“…it’s that obvious?”

“As obvious as the fact he’s the same for you, girlfriend.”

While you don’t believe Ikkaku is correct in that statement, Law isn’t able to bring himself to move for several minutes, frozen in shock that you decided to kiss his cheek and just run off to bed.

It looks like you’ve got more to talk about than just his past now.

[alch-emi]

I got inspired to design my own version of Link and Zelda and may have gotten a little bit attached woops.

EXTRA DETAILS BELOW IF UR INTERESTED:

For the timeline, these two are placed after Twilight Princess. TP!Zelda is this Zelda’s great grandmother.

Link works for her parent’s potion shop, she delivers their potions to people and general stores all across Hyrule. I imagine in a game setting you would deliver potions as part of side quests and use the shop’s alchemy station as a cooking mechanic.

The goggles that Link wears are magic goggles gifted to her by Impa. I can see it functioning as a “Lens of Truth” type item that allows her to see through illusions (which becomes very relevant).

Unlike her other counterparts, this Zelda is HATED by her people. They don’t like the way she disregards people’s feelings in favor of finding the most logical way to solve civil conflicts. Awful rumors are often spread about her. She doesn’t notice this.

Zelda was given combat training by Impa mostly bc of Hyrule’s history of being taken over by evil. She wanted to be able to defend herself and her people should something like that happen during her time. She also just respects Impa a lot as a mentor figure.

Link had a major crush on Zelda when they were kids. Now that they’re no longer close she thinks she got over it, but girl is in denial big time. If the subject is brought up, she gets rly pathetic and tsundere abt it.

Zelda sees Link as weak and a bit of a thorn in her side. She hates how stubborn and reckless she is. Part of her wishes Link would give up and tells her to “stop pretending you’re a hero” bc internally, she thinks Link will get herself killed and doesn’t want that.

They basically have that dynamic where they are rly brutal towards each other and have a lot of unprocessed feelings, but also ultimately know everything abt each other and will sacrifice themselves for the other no questions asked.

To elaborate on the plot stuff, basically Zelda gets trapped in a mirror which was actually a gateway to a “mirror world.” Its basically Hyrule but everything looks reversed and it kinda looks like a dark fucked up version of the SS Silent Realms.

When Zelda and Link both look into a reflective surface at the same time, they can see and talk to each other. This happens the first time on complete accident btw.

Perchance these two learn that they have to work together to get Zelda back to Hyrule and in the process confront all their weird hangups abt each other and their awkward situationship. Who knows.

[gassydumbjocks]

Virilite 1:

Boys will be boys

Ever since I spiked my nephew Liam's beer with a strange pill I found online when he and my brother came to watch a football match, that boy has been acting like a man, as he should.

You see, my brother Noah had a son who, don't get me wrong, I love this boy with all my soul, but god damn he had to grow up and start acting like what he was, a dude, always wearing those girly crop tops and tight-fitting jeans with bright colors because "that's who he was", I admit that I was clearly upset when he revealed to the family that he was gay, but even so I couldn't do anything and neither could Noah, so we decided to accept him as he was, until I found a way to... make him act as he should.

While looking at online articles I found this article online that was supposed to be some pills that could have an effect on the behavior and actions of the person that took them, yes, I know, very science fiction-like, still, what caught my attention was the name and objective of the pill, "Virilite" was its name, and it promised to also have an effect on the levels of testosterone produced in men, which ended up convincing me to buy it.

The instructions were simple, put them in the drink or food that said man was going to consume, once ingested the guy would enter an immediate state of trance, able to only follow the orders that another person suggested in his mind, there were even images of test subjects boys who I assume took the pill, they all had a relaxed yet funny expression, eyes crossed and some even with tongues sticking out like dogs, I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Liam looking like that.

Just as i was now, immediatly after i got Liam to drink it after offering him a beer, he letted out an involuntary loud and guttural deep belch, which from what i knew and readed online was a sign that the pill already took effect, i had Liam in front of me with a dumb smile and an eye-crossed, glazed over look, like that huge burp just took away all his thoughts and personality.

After the first 5 minutes of calling his name and getting no response, i actually started to worry, he couldn't stay as a brainless zombie-like dumbass all his life, and Noah would find out and kill me for it, i tried to remember, i took the pill's container and readed again the instructions.

"Ohh, so i have to, uh, kinda program him?" i said and then i thought of things i could make him do, i certainly bought those pills to make the kid more like a man... So, hell, what a man i would mold out of him.

I heard him let out a dumb chuckle still with that goofy smile from before, i smirked and approached "Liam, buddy, you hear me champ, you hear uncle Dave?" i asked to make sure he could indeed hear me, he slowly nodded and let out some hiccups "great, cuz we got a lot of work to do on you, and im sure you'll love it" i say.

I think of the first command to give him, they suggest to use short and simple commands, there are plenty of manly things he needs to learn, but i think i can cover up basic stuff, i remember Noah and me asking him to join us in our protein farting contests when we relaxed in our man cave watching our team, while Liam just grimaced and waved his hand, saying it was immature and gross, i would make him change his opinion, so it was obvious what would be the command "Liam...fart, loudly and proudly, c'mon" i literally order him to fart, i just wanted to test the effectiveness of the command obeying.

Without hesitation, he lifts his right leg as high as he can, leaving his butt in the air, before a barrage of gas goes out his butt.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Its so strong, big and beefy, even for me, i have to wave the smell and open a window nearby "good lord boy! Where in the hell did you got all that gas from!?" i ask impressed, and try to recover before continuing "ok ok lets keep up!, umm, belch, a nice deep man belch" i say, waiting for it.

I didn't even have to wait when he was already patting his chest and squinting an eye to help the gas release.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRPPP!!!

And holy fuck, if Liam was concious, he'd know that beast burp would have easily beat his old man and me in our oftens belch offs, the pill was clearly making a miracle on him.

I was admitidly having fun on my nephew making all the stuff he found "gross" and "immature" under a pill's control, i gave him another command, just to get a good laugh "Liam, do some armpit farts, but in the last one, you'll ask me to pull your finger, you'll let out a monster fart, got it?" i asked and he nodded again, he then started with the manly symphony, he took a hand down one of his pits and started to produce the nasty sounds.

PPPPPRRRRTTT

PPPPPPRRRRRRTTT

PPPPPPRRRRRTT

PPPPPPPRRRRRTT

I saw him stop and put hand on his gut, then he talked goofily "uncle, pull my finger" he asked dumbly before laughing and extend his hand at me, i gladly accepted "oh of course kiddo, let me help you with that" i smirked and pulled it hard, unleashing the beast gas he had stuck in his rump.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

An ABSOLUTELY disgusting deep-ass and loud, nasty fart erupted from him, Liam never losing the crossed look on his face, as he hiked exaggerately his leg to force the fart out, i was shocked, but in the end, finally proud of him, i couldn't wait for Noah to see what he could do! We would think on more funny stuff to do at our just guys nights! After all, boys will be boys, right?

[phantomarine]

Clam's Quick Tips for Starting Your Very First Webcomic

Howdy! Here are the three bits of advice I tend to give people who ask me about getting into webcomic-making. Maybe they can help you jump into the fray with a little less fear.

1) Make Your First Chapter a Pilot Episode

You will be told by webcomic veterans to start with a short, simple comic idea first - which is wise - but if all you can think about is your big magnum opus, then you might as well hop in, right? Otherwise you'll just be glancing back at the other cooler project forever.

But if you can't start with a small simple story, start on a small, simple part of that larger story. Your first chapter should be a snapshot of the main conflict - show us a simple scene with few characters, ease us in slowly, keep things clear and focus on emotion/impact/clarity. Get the audience to care by offering something easily digested, but full of promise.

Once you're done with that 'pilot' chapter, and you're feeling more comfortable with the whole comic process, you can open the gates and show us the larger world. At that point, you'll be way more ready.

2) Simplify Your Art Style For Your Own Sanity

Always try to make your webcomic's art style as simple as possible - the standard rule is to use only 75% of your artistic skill for every comic page you make. Otherwise you will burn out quickly and terribly.

But you also need to be PROUD of your art style. If you're really feeling itchy, add a couple bells and whistles to your style so you can look at the finished page and say "Yeah, looks cool." You'll find the right balance the more you draw.

Also, don't be afraid to change your art style as you go along. Ultimate consistency is often impossible in webcomics anyway - so embrace your desire to try new things, streamline your work, whatever you feel needs to happen to be happiest. Sometimes the coolest part of reading a webcomic is noticing that style change - so don't hesitate to embrace it!

3) Resist the Reboot! RESIST!

The curse/blessing of drawing the same things over and over is that you'll inevitably get better at drawing those things. The trouble comes when you look back at old stuff and start thinking "Damn, I could draw that way better now."

You must recognize that this feeling never goes away. Not after a hundred pages. Not after three hundred. Not after a thousand.

I think everyone should be allowed one soft reboot for their first webcomic. Redraw some panels that bother you. Change up some dialogue if it doesn't make sense with your new story ideas. Do maintenance, basically. One of the beauties of webcomics is that they can be easily edited, without reprinting a whole book or remaking a whole game.

But if the ultimate purpose of a webcomic is to tell a story, then constant reboots will just be retelling the same story - slightly better each time, but the same at its core. We've heard it before. Most audiences would rather you save your strength and just keep going, rather than circling back year after year and going "Wait wait wait! I'll do it better this time."

Reboot early, not often, and only when you absolutely must! You're a storyteller, and you're constantly getting better at telling your story. Don't be ashamed of it - look back how much ground you've covered, and keep walking!

---

That's a good start. Happy webcomicking - don't be afraid to jump in, but be prepared to learn a lot very quickly. And if this advice doesn't work for you or adhere to how you did it, that's absolutely fine - webcomics are diverse by nature, and so are their creation processes. Feel out what works best for you, and good luck!

[orangeocelotmartyn]

Martyn and Ren's collaboration for Rats In Paris, including how they decided on Pirates, and the improv that comes from it

Martyn: Uh--"by the way, how did you and Ren end up teaming together on Rats?" Um, I think that came about because... Owen... kept adding people to the Discord for Rats--cause we made a new Discord for Rats2, uh, instead of repurposing the old Rats1 one, um, and then I saw Ren get added, and that was the first that I learned, um, that was the first that I learned about it. (aside) "Use a hook in your overclock--"

Martyn: But yeah, that was the first that I'd seen it, and I messaged Ren being like, "oh my god, yes, you're in Rats," like, so excited. And then that's when he asked, like, "should we do something together?" Like, you know, do we want to link up. And I was like, "uh, yes. That'll be cool, that'll be really fun." Um. And then we--I--we were actually quite slow on deciding what our characters were gonna be, and how they were going to be linked together. We basically had like, one phone call ahead of the SMP. We'd written most of it out, like, written notes, um...a lot of it was me having to rein in some of the ideas, just so it works with like, my-my Vtuber lore and stuff? I was trying not to like, dampen his, like...his ideas too much, but. If he did want to collaborate with me, there was just some teensy changes--(aside) "still go stable rod, though--"

Martyn: Uh--"so a lot of it was improv, that's so cool, you both flow off--flow off each other so well." Oh yeah, I mean, so, literally...we decided--the only thing we decided prior is that. This is how we met. We met, y'know, with you fishing me out of the ocean or whatever, and, um, sailing me into Paris, but. Anything said in world, like, you know, the whole "Ren telling loads of stories" and stuff like that--I think we--I think we had established that we be kind of, like, bored of each other's stories, but. There's no script whatsoever in terms of like...y'know, him talking about Her Ratesty and stuff like that. I sort of said to him, I was like, "I would prefer if you don't tell me too much, cause then I can almost learn it for the first time?" Umm...so yeah, so a lot of it was like, y'know, a lot of it is improv. The majority of it is improv.

[zombiigrll]

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MY ANGEL. ⋆｡°✩ carl grimes x reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 2K ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ hurt to comfort, use of y/n, near-death experience (reader), blood, basic zombie apocalypse stuff !! .ᐟ SUMMARY .ᐟ ⭑ you and carl go out on a dangerous run. ꩜ .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ this may be a bit inspired by the last of us... barely but you can definitely smell it!!! you could also say it was partially inspired by 9x4 maybe.. anyways i wanted to get a oneshot out before i started posting my series :3 hope you guys enjoyyyy!!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────────────────────────

you'd spent basically your whole life in the walls of woodbury. the first time you started seeing the outside world was after woodbury had fallen.

you were aware of the dangers of the new world, but you were protected. until, of course, you weren't.

you were taken in by ricks group, and ever since then, you'd been learning how to defend yourself. although, you weren't the best at it. you were out of shape, anxious, and well... very clumsy. and those were all apparent before you were helping outside of walls.

but carl helped. he wouldn't let you go out without him. even if his father, michonne, glenn, or anyone was with you, he had to be there too.

the two of you hadn't realized that you two were so close because you had feelings for one another. but, once you guys landed in alexandria, it was visible to everyone that you guys had found yourselves taking a larger interest in one another.

he always made sure that you were safe, even in places you two trusted to be safe. he checked on you as often as he could. he didn't even like you going on runs, he'd make sure that you could enjoy the safety of alexandria as much as possible.

but you were still set out on runs, of course. carl went with on every single one, too.

you two were set on to head out on a pretty dangerous run. one that carl begged for you not to go on, but to no avail. the only part about it that made him feel better was that he was able to come with you.

this run was different from the others you'd been on. you always went on runs with a group of 4 at least, but it was just you and carl on this one. you were sure that was why he was so anxious.

you guys were set on a run to an abandoned mall. from what you'd heard, they've tried to clear the mall before, but there were too many walkers out. they cleared most of it, but they wanted to send you and carl out to clear the rest. despite your inexperience, you were quite a good shot. that's why you were put out on so many runs recently.

you stepped out of the car, putting your backpack around you and holstering your gun.

"are you sure you're okay with doing this?" carl asked, walking over to your side. "we can go back, it's not too late-"

"i got this, carl." you smiled at him, putting your hand up to his hair to comfort him. "it'll be fine. you're my angel, you always protect me. we'll just be in and out."

he put his hand over yours and grinned. despite his anxieties, you always managed to make him feel better. "alright. if anything happens, we'll go back though."

"of course." you nodded understandingly. you intertwined your fingers together with his and began walking toward the mall.

the mall seemed more cleared out than they expressed, which you didn't think much of. carl pointed it out, however.

"they said this place would still be swarming with walkers." he took his gun out, letting it rest in his hands as he walked forwards. "keep an eye out."

you nodded, taking your gun out as well.

the two of you examined the area, taking out a few remaining walkers as you walked around. the shops you guys entered were mostly cleared out, except for a few things.

"do you think someone's here?" you turned back over to carl, who was searching frantically for anything.

"probably, or there was. there's nothing here." he throws down an empty jar of food and sits back up. "we should probably head out-"

*BANG!*

"get down!" carl pulls your hand down as he throws himself behind a counter. "did you get hit?" his voice is lower as he holds your face. you simply respond by shaking your head, your eyes widening.

"we have more people than you!" the man yelled as he began entering the store. "just come on out!"

you held your gun tightly, turning and quickly shooting the man in the head.

you sat there in shock for a moment, until carl grabbed you and pulled you back up. "let's go!"

the moment you guys stepped outside of the store, there were instant shots fired around you. you dove behind a flipped over table, but carl hid behind something on the other side of you. it was too dangerous for one of you to run over to the other, so you gave him a confident nod.

the men were yelling at the two of you, calling you guys names and trying to get you two to come out. they were up on the second story of the mall, at the edge of the balcony.

there was lots of fallen debris on the ground, sharp objects and everything you could think of that could make this run even more difficult than it needed to be.

carl tried shooting at the guys, and the men were mostly focused on him.

you took this as your opportunity to make your way upstairs. you saw carl give you a worried look as he realized what you were doing, but you kept going. it was too dangerous to stop.

luckily, the guys were still focused on carl and you were able to make your way up the steps.

you walked up behind the guys, your gun in one hand and knife in the other. your plan being to shoot one and stab the other simultaneously. as you got closer, you stood up. but, there was another man. he bolted towards you, pushing you up against the edge of the balcony, making you drop your knife and gun in a panic.

"fuck!" you tried pushing him away as his forearm laid firmly against your throat. but you weren't stronger than him, being a teenager and all.

you closed your eyes tightly as his arm pushed harder onto your neck, still trying to push him. when all the sudden, you felt the balcony crumble on your back. you felt yourself falling, but you didn't have time to react before you felt a sharp pain through your side.

you heard a loud ringing in your ears. you couldn't feel anything. you looked around, but everything looked blurry. you could vaguely spot the man who was just choking you moments before on the ground next to you dead, a pool of his blood forming beneath him.

"she's dead, focus the boy!" was the only thing you could make out through the ringing.

'am i really dead?' you thought, looking around. you thought it could be true, because due to the shock you really couldn't feel anything.

you looked down, spotting a metal rod through your side. you reach for it, but you fell back as a long, burning pain shot through your body. that's what made you realize you were still alive.

the men above still hadn't noticed, they were continuing to shoot at carl.

tears began flooding your eyes as the pain started become more and more apparent. "carl..." your head fell back as you attempted to look for him

you heard gunshots, very quick ones. then everything was silent. you heard footsteps running towards you.

"y/n? oh, my god." you saw carls blurry figure over you. "no, no, no, no.. y/n.."

you put your hand where the pain was, feeling the blood leak onto them. "i'm... bleeding..?" you were disoriented. you knew what was happening, but at the same time it felt like it was coming at you in sections.

"i've got you." carl walks over to your side, examining what had happened. "i have to pull you out." he says, his voice panicked. he brings his hand down to hold your blood-stained one. "it's going to hurt. please, trust me."

you nod, and before you knew it, the pain got sharper. you screamed loudly as you fell onto carl. he held you tightly, and you could feel his heart beating out of his chest.

he lays you back down, and you could spot your blood on his clothes. he removes his flannel and rips one of the sleeve off. "it's gonna be okay. i.. i promise. i'm gonna try and patch you up." he wraps the sleeve around your side tightly, causing you to yelp out in pain again. "sorry, i know it hurts. you're doing good."

he picks you up, running out of the mall and back to the car as fast as possible. he mutters under his breath, saying 'i love you' and 'you'll be okay' in an attempt to calm you down, but also calm himself down.

he lays you down in the back seat of the car, leaving a kiss on your cold forehead before he jumps into the drivers seat and begins speeding back to alexandria.

"carl.." you quietly mumble, your voice hoarse. "i love you.."

"i love you, too." his voice is shaken. he runs a hand through his hair.

then everything went black.

...

you guys were lucky that alexandria was close to that mall. carl got you back to alexandria almost instantly after you blacked out.

he didn't even bother to park the car properly. he parked it on the side next to the gate and screamed for them to open up as he took you out of the back seat.

they opened the gates and he ran to the infirmary with you in his arms.

you were out for almost the whole day. they didn't think you were going to wake up. you weren't a very strong person, physically. there had been times in the past where you'd gotten injured and been bedridden for weeks because of it. but around midnight, you finally woke up.

carl didn't notice at first. his head was laying on the bed and his hand was holding yours. there were other people in the room. the nurse, rick, glenn, and maggie. glenn and maggie were chatting quietly while the others were resting.

you opened your eyes, but the pain from your wound quickly returned. you shot up, grabbing your side tightly with a yelp, which woke everyone up.

"fuck.." you gasped, throwing your head back on the pillow and shutting your eyes tightly.

"oh, my god." carl hugs you tightly, but carefully to not hurt you again. "i thought you were gonna die. you were so close to dying.. i'm so sorry."

you lifted your hand up to the back of his head, resting yours on his. "don't be sorry. you saved me." you smiled weakly.

"i should've kept you by my side. this is all my fault." you hear his voice break. he moves his hand up to your hair, running his hand through it.

"quit blaming yourself. if it wasn't for you, i would've still been on that pole, bleeding out to death." you pushed him away so you could look at his face. there were tears forming in his eye and he was shaking. "hey.. remember, you're my angel, right?"

he nods, a somber smile forming on his face as he tucks your hair behind your ear. "always."

you looked down and you spotted a bandage across his shoulder that had been bled through. you grabbed his arm, a bit below his shoulder so you could get a better look without hurting him. "did you get shot?" you asked, your expression softening.

he nods with a chuckle. "yeah.. i didn't notice until they finished patching you up. i think it happened right after you fell. i freaked out. i didn't think, i just started shooting at them."

"carl.." you move your hand back up to his face, tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. you more your hand to the back of his head and move him to lay on your chest, hugging him. "thank you. so much." your voice cracked.

he moved his arms up to hug you back. "of course. i'd do anything for you, you know that right?" you could feel his smiling forming. "no matter what."

"i'd do anything for you, too." you kissed the top of his head before resting your head on his. "no matter what."

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[buntress]

⌖ What Is Non-Harmful Transitioning?

[PT :: What is non-harmful transitioning?]

As the term Desirdae has become more popular, a thing I have noticed is people not understanding what "non-harmful transitioning" means. Which is quite fair! It's a very, very vague term that can be used in a multitude of ways. So, in order to curb this slightly, I feel it necessary to elaborate on what, to me at least, non-harmful transitioning entails. If the original coiner, @ghosting-plural-userboxes or @desirdae-archive would like to add anything I would love that! Ty for making this term btw, it's been genuinely so helpful <3

───

⌖ What is harmful transitioning?

[PT :: What is harmful transitioning]

I think in order to get into what non-harmful transitioning is, we should first get into what qualifies as harmful transitioning. So, to me, harmful transitioning is as follows ::

Transitioning by using methods of self harm, such as cutting, burning, bleaching ones skin, etc.

Transitioning by harming others, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually // metaphysically.

Transitioning by putting yourself in traumatic situations, such as putting oneself in a situation to be groomed, assaulted, physically or emotionally harmed, etc.

Transitioning to have a disorder // disability one does not have, such as harming oneself in order to acquire a physical disability or enacting stereotypical behaviors to "act" as if they have a certain mental illness or disability.

Transitioning in a way that harms minorities of all kinds. Such as using blackface, yellowface, asianfishing, etc in order to "transition" towards different POC identities.

Transitioning to hateful and bigoted ideologiess that harm others.

Simply put, transitioning in a way that actively harms yourself or others is harmful transitioning.

───

⌖ So, what is non-harmful transitioning?

[PT :: So, what is non-harmful transitioning?]

Having gotten some basics of what counts as harmful transitioning out of the way, let's get onto examples of non-harmful transitioning!

Dyeing ones hair as a form of transition.

Partaking in more foods of a specific culture in order to feel more comfortable, while acknowledging one is not part of that culture (this enters a grey area with headmates, as not everything is black and white)

Accepting ones disabled traits, that they already have, and learning that no matter how they experience it, it is enough.

Learning more about cultures in order to feel more comfortable with yourself, while still acknowledging you are not a part of that culture. (Again, gets muddy when it comes to headmates)

Getting piercings, body modifications, etc done by professionals as a form of transition.

Starting HRT or other forms of medical transitioning.

Getting cosmetic surgeries (nothing that would change the appearance of your own race, of course) done by professionals as a form of transition.

And likely many other ways to do it that aren't harmful! There are really, truly, so many ways to go about this that aren't harmful I promise you. I can think of an infinite number of ways to do this stuff non-harmfully.

───

⌖ What makes Desirdae different from TransID?

[PT :: What makes Desirdae different from TransID?]

Simply the means of which one may transition. Desirdae is firmly anti-harmful transitioning for any reason while TransID is pro all forms of transition, harmful or not. You can see this in terms like transnazi, transrace, transplural, and many transharmful identities that it is often encouraged to transition into these things, despite the harm such things do. Desirdae, on the other hand, actively discourages harmful transitioning. So while things like Desirharmful, Desirskintone, etc do exist it is actively said by the creators that one should not harmfully transition into these terms. I will say, many do not make it clear that for some terms there is no way to non-harmfully transition*. But I chock this up to people being, rightfully, tired of constantly having to explain their experience with this term isn't inherently harmful. But it is still an issue I believe should be fixed when possible. * [PT :: there is no way to non-harmfully transition]

───

I understand the worries many have towards Desirdae. We do not want just another TransID clone to take over and create yet another space full of radqueers who push for things like legalization of non-consensual relationships or what have you. That is a fair worry to have, and it was a worry I initially had as well. But in exploring these terms and the community that they have fostered, I have found that this is quite the opposite. It is a community based purely on consent, recovery, and a safe space for people to speak on their issues where as radqueer and transID often push anti-recovery and anti-consent rhetoric. This is the key difference between these two terms, I believe. One feeds into harmful behaviors and seemingly pushes people to the worst versions of themselves while the other is more of a "hey, I understand these feelings, I feel this way too, it's not OK but we can recover together."

If I missed anything, am incorrect about something, or if one has questions I myself am more than happy to answer. While this is not a term and community I created, it is one I am happy to be a part of and want to grow into something helpful.

Thank you for reading, I hope you all have a lovely day. Remember to be kind, anger towards fellow mentally ill queers does nothing but push the agenda of the oppressors <3

[koinotame]

your (househusband) roommate, ajax

word count: 1.5K content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, childe gets called your house husband but you’re not actually married, generally gross stuff (he sniffs your used shirt), it's implied of childe scares away someone else

a/n: this is a repost (slightly edited)! i lost the original post w/ the basic idea but essentially this is a side au of sagau/self aware genshin where the characters (in this case childe) find their way into your world, but in the process you lose all memories about genshin. i'll be reposting all of the series, but it's also on ao3! part two is here!

when you first learned who your roommate would be, you were exasperated. you’d heard about him before, and you were well aware that he's amassed a reputation of being a trouble maker. you had no interest in getting into trouble, especially not during your first year.

...so you were pretty pleasantly surprised when he turned out to be a total sweetheart.

you’re reminded of that when you enter the kitchen, rubbing at your eyes and yawning. the smell of pancakes wafts through the air, and you can’t even get out a small 'good morning' before ajax is grinning at you and sliding you some pancakes. "don’t wait for me and eat up, okay? I put plenty of love into them, so they should taste great."

you ignore his banter (insisting on waiting for him is a lost battle, you’ve learned) and take a bite. you don’t finish chewing before you sleepily nod.

he laughs good-naturedly. "I’m glad, I’m glad. do you want more?" another drowsy nod has him piling most of the remaining pancakes onto your plate.

he continues chatting with you while you eat and he finishes the batch, though he does most of the talking. as usual, he doesn’t seem to mind your silence too much. once he’s done, he turns the fire off and props his elbow on the counter to stare at you. you don't pay him any mind.

he slides the platter to you the second you peek at it. after having eaten well over two servings you’re not really interested in more though, so you shake your head. "I'm full. aren’t you going to eat any?"

he beams. "aww, were you thinking about me? don’t worry, I already ate." you’re almost certain he didn’t. avoiding the judgemental look that crosses your eyes at his response, he laughs in a way that’d be awkward if it was anyone else. "I’ll put the rest in a tupper then, okay? have them whenever."

he’s taking your plate and putting it in the sink before you can even stand to move it to the dishwasher. you sigh and stick out your tongue at him when he turns to you. "you know you really don’t have to go out of your way do all of this."

he smiles at you. "why not? I enjoy cooking, and you can be my taste-tester." the amounts he feeds you go well beyond that, and he's avoiding the rest of your question, but okay. you should've gotten the message—that it's futile to ask him this kind of question—by now.

while you you face plant into the couch to avoid thinking about anything else, ajax stays in the kitchen, cleaning up and humming some lullaby as he washes the pan and plates. it’s too early to think on this saturday morning. the cushion feels nice and soft against your cheek and you can’t help but burrow yourself further into the pillows.

wait.

you lift your head up, peeking your head out behind the back of the couch.

"the apron is cute."

he nearly drops the pan.

it’s not often that you bring over friends, so ajax insists on cleaning beforehand and serving your group snacks much like a mother hen would throughout their stay.

their two, maybe three if you're pushing it, hour stay. all you’re going to is chat, it’s not like they’re going to be staying overnight or anything.

you sigh but let him do what he wants.

some cookies are laid out by the time they arrive, and he’s hovering around pretty much indefinitely to serve tea or juice.

it’s cute, in a way, but your friends’ teasing is not.

"you know, he’s kind of like your house husband, isn’t he?" your friend comments, leaning over and biting into a powdery cookie.

you try to ignore the way ajax beams. you try to ignore the way he cheers to himself even harder.

"not really..." your weak attempts at rebutting their words make your friends laugh.

the rest of the session goes by normally; you talk about the kinds of things you’d regularly talk about with friends. someone in your group recently received a promotion, and somebody else got fired. somebody gained a boyfriend, another realised she didn’t have the time or energy for relationships not too long ago.

the longer the conversation goes on, the more the chatter becomes background noise as the you retreat to your own world. the drink in your hands gets lukewarm long before you finish it despite your frequent sipping.

when they finally leave, you feel more relieved than you should.

you see them off with a smile, but your head is pounding by the time you sit back down and your ears can finally rest. now that you’re (mostly, ajax is always just kind of there) alone, you can finally have some peace and quiet and relax.

or that’s what you think until ajax leans over the couch, head hovering above yours. "now that they’re gone… would you prefer dinner, a bath, or me?"

you stare at him. he doesn’t move, clearly eager for your answer. eventually, you sigh and gently push his face away. "dinner would be nice."

he laughs, something warm and domestic dancing in his cold eyes. "of course! it’ll be ready soon."

he presses a quick kiss to your cheek before leaving.

you whine, but the space he touched feels tingly even against your own hand.

"ajax."

he drops your wallet, not even attempting to take back the couple hundred bills peeking out. his response is nonchalant, even at his supposed surprise at having been caught by you. "ahh, I wasn’t expecting you to be back so soon. look at what I found!"

you stare. at him. at what he’s holding. at your wallet on the floor.

you’re certain you did not have that many hundred bills. you’re going to cry if you find him trying to stuff his money into your wallet again.

"you mentioned liking this, right? I was out earlier and I thought I could get it for you. you know, as a sign of goodwill and all, for being such a great roommate."

a couple months ago, you would have been perplexed. he insists on doing all of the chores and most of the cooking, and he pays most of the bills. is the 'great roommate' status because you’re quiet and don’t host loud parties, or…? you don’t question it anymore at this point.

"ajax."

a couple months ago, he might’ve gotten unnerved by your silence. instead, he pushes it into your hands, a wide grin on face, ruffles your hair and saunters out.

you have yet to find his wallet. despite that, all the cash (and then some) that you’d left on his bedside table or bed has always managed to find a way back to your wallet, so there would probably be little point anyway.

"ah, that reminds me!" he peeks back into your room a couple minutes later. "what would you like for dinner?" the nerve of him to ask this right after he calls you a great roommate…

"maybe some soup?" you say instead.

he smiles, bows, and takes his leave. the apron you called cute a few weeks ago is already fixed onto him.

you sigh, sliding the bills in properly.

wait a second. is that a credit card…?

you were expecting many things when you finally caught him, but him sniffing only your shirt—out of all your available laundry—wasn’t one of them.

"…what are you doing?"

you have never seen him jerk his head as quickly, nor have you ever seen him so red. or speechless.

you both stand there in silence for a few seconds before he blinks rapidly and his breathing becomes ragged. "it’s not—I—it’s not what you think, I swear—"

"okay, whatever." you wave him off. somehow, this doesn’t alarm you as much as it should. "I don’t care what you were doing, don’t do it again."

he nods quickly, considerably less composed than he usually is, and shoves your shirt back into the basket briskly. "also… can you stop leaving your stuff in my wardrobe. I know you know the difference."

"ah, that was…" he’s clearly at a loss for words, not sure how to justify himself after having been caught committing not only one transgression, but two.

you set the clothes of his you were bringing to him down, tempted to just throw them at him.

you swallow your nerves, almost nervously meeting his eyes. "look, I don’t really care, but can you at least leave me stuff like your jacket or sweater? your shirts aren’t really my style."

his breathing hitches again but he gives no response otherwise, so you shake your head and turn to leave. the laundromat room is thankfully empty save for the two of you, something you’re glad for.

as you pass through the door, it occurs to you that the guy who’d been smoking in here hasn’t shown up in a while. now that you think about it, that was the reason ajax had offered to take over laundry duty too...

oh well, it’s of no concern to you, you think to yourself as you make the journey back to your room.