#basically i am *yearning*
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wooooo revived!clover! i have so many thoughts abt this au and they cannot all fit here so take some doodles
@brewingcoffi
#i am very shoddy at drawing kids and the most practice i’ve had in a while is the 5 souls drawing#so clover looks a lil half baked#shout out to ceroba who i cannot draw at all but who is having flashbacks of kanako#i imagine flowey’s getting desperate because clover is the 6th soul and the underground is almost free#and he yearns a lot for simpler times so he keeps clover in some basic attempt to hold on to past stuff#some “let’s entertain each other for a while longer” stuff#also the soul of JUSTICE losing all of their EMPATHY and EMOTION?? when that is the very basis of them?#their purpose? that’s huge stuff. and its all so flowey can get back at his dad. god this au is so cool#undertale yellow#uty#uty clover#flowey#flowey undertale#on the edge of my comically large seat waiting 4 the next lore drop#edit: how in god’s name did this get 100 notes
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new year new yearning
#hashiart#undertale#undertale au#horror sans#horrortale sans#self insert#basically i am *yearning*#happy belated holidays & new years yall#i havent drawn anything in so long my tablet pen feels so awkward in my hands#was debating leaving it uncolored but eh i have time
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when you cant stop fucking smiling>>>>>>
#i just-#ajfn I AM GAY OMFG#I think my brain forgot its basic functions help😭#djfb#mlm thoughts#gay mlm#mlm yearning#mlm post#t4t mlm#mlm#mlm and nblm only#t4t yearning#mlm yearn#t4t
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"You're not a human?? What are you??" "Um, no... I'm a rock..."
(cw: vent in tags)
#hypothetical of me coming out as objectkin#i am really scared and shy and full of anxiety about coming out and telling my friends about my alterhumanity#its such an integral part of myself and i hate not being seen or known as what i really am#but i don't think my friends will understand or accept it#i explained my sexuality to one of my friends and they didn't understand#then i told another friend my genders and i feel like they doubted me?? keyword “feel”#not sure they really did#i just dont want to be seen as a fake#sometimes i feel like i'm faking#but then i remember Ruby (SCP 963)#He's inside of me and i am it#and i'm... not sure how to explain to my friends that i'm basically a rock inside and that i haven't gone crazy during the break#i yearn for understanding#objectkin#alterhuman#963kin#scpkin#fictionkin#nonhuman#otherkin#jewelrykin#crystalkin
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Currently googling 'where do I meet new people that isn't a dating app'
#Google's answers were basically 'go outside :)) go to clubs and stuff' and its like... what if I CANT GO OUT. AT ALL.#head in hands.... how am I going to find my stoner bf who plays mc........#I know I will find him but HOW#sorry for yearning on main#gay yearning#yearning hours#mlm yearning#nblm yearning#stoner bf who plays mc saga#the bugz speak
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LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT HIMMMMMM
#I LOVE YOU MIKKS#LOOKIN SO COMFY#HE :]#THE MIKKSY YEARNING HAS NEVER BEEN STRONGER#WEARING THE MOST BASIC ASS SHIT AND YET HERE I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT#HES JUST SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TO ME
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I keep thinking that I accidentally designed my first rook to look like someone who smoked a pack of cigarettes a day dealing with the venatori and the day before the events of veilguard finally decided to give up smoking.
She's really struggling here guys.
#rook is basically just the ben affleck memes#nothing against my rook I think she's perfect for the voice#but she's yearning so hard for two things#lucanis to show interest and a cigarette#veilguard#all said lovingly because I am unearthly attached to her already#my ocs#shadow dragon rook#my rook#rook dragon age#rook mercar
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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i still have the fucking. screen recordings from when i was going for saeran's good ending. i was not well in the slightest
#shoutout to athena for dealing with me YEARNING for 11 days#i mean. i still am but uou get my point.#she basically played it with me with how i would send ger like 50 screenshots a day#hehe ily#eden rambles#dont say anything about my hourglasses
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scenes for you to imagine: byan sitting on the counter while your muse is cooking or baking, them occasionally interrupting to share funny memes or tiktoks they find while scrolling.
alternatively, they interrupt to share all the pictures (read: selfies) that they took today.
#just calm mundanity. i dig that shit. byan doesn't get enough of it.#hi i am still out but i am thinking. yearning to be home to put all this muse to good use#gonna be too tired by the time I get there tho so like. idk have this.#I'm also still thinking about a byan guidebook. other rules it would contain.#how there'd have to be an individual section for cis men so byan doesn't tear them to shreds#actually you'd basically have to introduce them to any men in your life the same way you introduce two cats#lock byan in a separate room so they get used to the sound of his voice & his scent & shit without letting them in his vicinity#so they can't destroy him in a fit of territorial aggression lmaoooo#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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whenever i have a moment without doing anything my brain is immediately like. girls girls girls kissing girls holding girls cuddling girls falling asleep with girls i love girls
#more yearning#it happens basically whenever im waiting for anything#and im just like i love girls so much (i am being held captive by my brain)#(my brain is too much of a girlkisser)#(actually. not enough. it won't be enough until i kiss girl irl(
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built this life and now it's mine - Fab Four fluff + jetpoison* (platonic or romantic, up to interpretation) (for @caffeineecold)
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Kobra got the jukebox in the corner working two days ago and Jet's just returned from a run that nearly killed him but also scored them a crate of real booze — not the shitty moonshine brewed in the Zones that everyone pretends they like even though it tastes like the inside of the boot that gave bootlegging its name, real stuff.
Party's already sloppy drunk, sitting at the counter, and Jet doesn't usually let himself get this tipsy. Kobra and Ghoul sit in the corner next to the jukebox, picking out tunes and passing back and forth a bottle of champagne, of all things. For being a sandpup, Ghoul has expensive tastes.
Something bass-heavy is playing when Party slips from the stool and nearly topples over. Jet's reflexes are sluggish, but he manages to slide from his own seat and catch Poison. Party's pissed at him for nearly dying, again, and Jet expects a shove and dark look, but that's not what he gets. Instead, Poison leans into him, fitting them so naturally together that it's almost frightening.
"Y'okay?" Jet asks quietly into Party's hair.
"Dance with me, Star?"
Jet blinks, shocked. This is the last thing he expected. But he's just drunk enough, inhibitions just low enough, and he always crumbles when Pois calls him Star. Nobody else really ever does. "Sure," he finds himself saying, and Pois curls even more against him, their hands finding their places without even looking. It's too easy to sway back and forth together, in some facsimile of dance that's really just more an excuse for the comfort of touch that they both need, to the lilting gravelly guitars playing through the jukebox speakers.
The track skips and Kobra thumps the side of the box to get it playing again, a rising guitar interlude without words. Poison's head is nested against Jet's jaw, red hair filling his entire field of vision. On an impulse he doesn't resist for once, probably due to how tipsy he is, he presses his lips to Poison's temple.
"I'm sorry, sunshine," he whispers. "Fuck, Poison, I love you. Not the way... you want me to, probably, but I do. I love you so much." His eye is wide and staring, a little bit desperate. There's no other way he can say it.
"Don't leave me," mumbles Poison softly into the skin of his neck. The song is different now, something softer. "My Star..."
Jet closes his eye. "I'm not trying to," he says.
Poison sniffs, still swaying to the new tempo of this song. "Try harder."
Pois probably won't remember this in the morning. Kobra and Ghoul will give them weird looks, like they've completely lost it, and Jet will know why. Heck, they're giving them weird looks now, over the top of a champagne bottle and between smirking giggling asides to each otherm But Party is too drunk to retain much. They won't ever talk about it, except maybe when it comes up in an argument they force everyone to hear. You said you wouldn't leave me, you said you love me. I don't care how it is I just want you to love me whatever way you can.
The future is unfolding in front of them in so many ways. But right now it's just two friends, irresponsibly drunk and folded into each other.
#hey btw uhh I have never had alcohol and I likely never will bc of family history with it so. uh. yeah this was weird to write#but also very fun skfnskfnks#the progression of ''party'' (implies a bit of distance) -> ''poison'' (closer) -> ''pois'' (which is something only#Kobra ever uses out loud. like Kobra is the only one who can out loud call his brother that. the others think it though#and it definitely implies intimacy)#is something I think about a lot#btw the first song is the one I took the title from (accident prone by jawbreaker) and the second one is fade into you by mazzy star#uh so... part of the reason I don't romantically ship jetpoison is bc every time I write them I end up projecting#my own deep seated platonic Yearning onto them#also I'm dubiously aroace so like. that probably explains a lot abt why I don't write outright ship/tend to lean into ambiguous friendships#so whenever I use a ship name with an asterisk I'm basically saying idc if you ship it or even take what I'm saying as that#I personally just don't want to go there :)#sorry I am very confusing about this stuff. I can be slightly in love with my friends in a possibly aroace way 😅#I don't even understand it myself
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bisexual bobby. i'm right.
#ok so let me paint the scene: it's bobby's college years. he's been roommates with this guy idk lets call him derek for a few months now.#they INSTANTLY clicked yk? and bobby's been feeling weird around derek but he jots in down to the thrill of having a new friend (he#experienced this before w his middle school bsf but never figured out why) and anyway when derek comes out to him he's like 'woah why am i#literally about to float out of my skin with happiness???' and he ponders about that for a bit and THEN we get the classic#practice kissing trope where they're like 'hahab wouldn't be fun to see hahaba' and anyway so they do that and bobby's like 'OH' so he#kinda distances himself away from derek cause he's like 'if he liked me he would've said smth' while derek OBVIOUSLY likes him and he's#hurt and confused about bobby not talking to him so he's like 'listen i really didn't mean to make u uncomfortable and i think it's best#that i move out' and bobby is like too shocked to say anything so derek takes that as his cue to leave and then they see each other in#hallways and basically yearn for each other for the rest of college#damn bro wrote a whole lore and everything#sorry im really passionate about this for no reason at all u dont have to read all that#bobby nash#911 fox#911 show#911 headcanons#bisexual
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I need a title for a thing
#if anyone wants to/is willing to read it and suggest titles it is an unfinished fabriz (fabian/riz from fantasy high in dimension 20) fic#that is basically just Gay#like. if there's a plot i haven't found it yet it's just gay yearning and 'oh shit i am very attracted to my friend'#so yeah#i'll figure out a title eventually probably but help would be helpful#indigo posts
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craving the physical touch of another person that isn’t just my mom rn
#🌀#my demolition lover <3#i haven’t had physical contact with a human being in weeks it’s exhausting#i never realized how much of a physical person i am until i got once droplet of affection and now i’m yearning for it 24/7#hugging and holding his hand was nice i want to do it again is basically what i’m saying
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I'm not quite in the same boat as the other two asks. But I'm close. I've thought that I was ambiamorous for a while, but looking at this poll has made me realise I have a way bigger preference towards polyamory than I thought. I'm still happy to be in a monogamous relationship (I am currently in one, and my partner means so much to me that there is no way I'd choose polyamory over her), but I think there's a definite preference there that I hadn't acknowledged before.
since we're all sharing... i knew since i was a teen that i was open to polyamory, i think whenever i first learned about it smth just clicked and it seemed right? idk.
and yet i myself havent dated more than one person at the same time lmao i was part of a polycule, i had a girlfriend who had a girlfriend, and while we're not together anymore i rlly care about both of them still, so i'm glad we can be friends
and im not rlly looking for a relationship rn but what this poll made me realize and by this poll i mean non-fantasy's liphiyo propaganda is that i want 2 partners (or more who knows!!) who love me and want to spoil me and basically i want to be hiyori and im looking for my aizo and my yujiro.
maybe ill watch the anime next week....
#i was gonna get more personal because im an oversharer but i decided against it lol#basically like if i did learn smth from this is that id like to date multiple ppl#i already knew i was open to it but now i am yearning and longing#polyasks
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