#basically his autism having sympathy for objects

[babyblankyerror]

Thinking about Stanley collecting and buying things that are broken and no one probably wants.

He'll see a stuffed animal that has it's eye stitched in the wrong place at the factory, walk past it and then return because no one will choose that toy. It's broken and ugly and no one will like it but Stan. Stan can care for it, he can love what's broken...

And if something in him tells him that he just does it because he relates to these broken items, he can just push it away.

[augment-techs]

Cliché, Fetish, kink, and trope headcanon asks

Javi/Ollie

C, B, D, T, L, N, F

(Still someone should throw me down a river 😭)

*siiiiiigh* This is really not a pair I'm inclined to think on, but okay.

Crying: Ollie is not one for tears amongst other people, even those that he trusts, even his mom. He did it so much when he was really little at the tiniest little things--raised voices, an engine turning over, a car backfiring, a cat ignoring his offered hand for pets, dogs growling at him. He can cry, it is not outside of his experience as a human, he just doesn't do it around other people. Javi cries in movie theaters during rom-coms showings when the protagonist and their love interest are in the middle of the movie when things get tough. He is a loving and sensitive soul and makes no apologies. Body: Javi is all about the hands and neck. What he considers to be his most important body parts; the tips of his fingers, the knuckles constantly under assault because of his guitar strings, the side of his palms near the pinkies and his pulse point as especially susceptible to biting. His neck is very ticklish, but suction just brings him down to his knees. The nipples, the top ribs that graze all of his shirts, and his navel are all places that Ollie has no objection to having handled with tender love and care, but. But--well, his underarms being licked will have him screaming. Disorders: ADHD is definitely part of Javi's personality; hyperfocus for his music, forgetfulness even when he writes things down, and a kind of restlessness that can't simply be cured from taking a walk around the black a few dozen times a week. Ollie on the other hand is somewhere on the autism spectrum, most especially apparent in that he has low empathy but not low sympathy and is prone to his rituals and only true belief in science, the things he can prove; which goes a long way to explain why he and Amelia can't agree about the paranormal IN SPITE of being a Power Ranger. Touching: Ollie is strictly inside the camp of not being comfortable being touched unless it is very temporary, or he needs it as a grounding technique. Holding hands is gross to him because he tends to sweat, prolonged sexual contact makes him prickly, and going through training is about as good as it gets for sudden impact if he doesn't give permission. Basically someone has a better chance of cuddling a feral bobcat than doing anything similar with him. Javi gets emotionally drained and sad if someone doesn't brush up against his shoulders, hugs him from behind, give him head pats, or give him kisses every three days. Lost & Alone: Ollie is too stubborn to admit, ever, that he has gotten turned around or lost. He has GPS on his phone, he has excellent landmark recognition, there is no way he could ever get lost, thank you. Javi has gotten lost a few hundred times in his life, but has never felt especially worried about it unless it was for something to do with being a Ranger. Like a house dog who gets out of the yard and gets to wander around for a few hours until its owner tracks it down by the chip in its neck. New AU: Javi met Ollie before he met Amelia, and while Ollie is the biggest, most prickly asshole he'd ever met before then (except for his own father), he is also kind of interesting when he paused to listen to Javi play his keytar, his mouth organ, his ukulele every other day when Javi was trying to practice while avoiding his dad. Ollie can go on talking about the origins of those specific instruments and what songs they were made famous for being included in, and Javi thinks the man looks very pretty when he's out of his head. The Ranger thing still happens, they still become teammates with the others they were meant to be with, but Javi works up the confidence to shut Ollie down in the kindest way when he's being a jerk, and Ollie goes to tell the Warden buzz right off, "He's an adult, he can have whatever hobby he wants." Fantasies | Frot:

Clothes being something of a necessity if they want to go anywhere being cheek pecks or nose nuzzles, Javi is resigned to Ollie wearing jeans, under garments, a vest an a button up even if Javi himself is in the buff and sweating like a pig. Which is not at all unpleasant, actually; there are ways around that. Ollie does not especially like the idea of someone trying to get him off or make him pop like a bottle rocket, but he finds that he likes the way Javi wiggles under his touch, and even likes the way his length slides across his tongue when Ollie puts his all into getting him off instead. They are both fully obliged to touch themselves in front of the other if asked.

[valeriahornyy]

The Creatures do work like cleaning to earn money, there's a shop near the very bottom so they can buy stuff

Phineas actually takes care of the whales and other marine life, meanwhile Aurla tries to kill them

Spooky's and Eyth's magic seems to make people stop aging or at least stop aging at a certain age, which explains why Spooky is still 12, 15 years later

Speaking of magic involving Spooky and Eyth, they were brought back to life by the ssme thing (along with Taker), that thing being one of the specimen 1s, that being Jeli

The Demon child was a child that was murdered in the kid's hospital and was brought back by Jeli as a demon, although it seemd she's trying to resist the magic that's trying to make her evil by hiding in a mirror

Some of the kill counts for Specimens are inaccurate as those a few were actually caused by the 1s (E.i, Bab, Jasper, Chomper..)

Phineas / Fin really liked marine life, mainly dolphins, Jeli got an idea and used his magic to make him go wild, causing him to operate on himself, everyone thinks he did it for his love of dolphins but Fin was just mind controlled

Lines' body ends at the end of his torso

Lines' speech tends to get distorted (backwards speech, random muting, glitching)

Paina was AI for sunshine academy but got out via Spec.1 magic, yet she can still be developed further

Subject 5s are named 5 as they are the 5th Specimen 3s, the others died either in testing, having to be exterminated or they just. Dissapeared

Lisa and Bab tend to get along very well due to their shyness

Bekka likes to blast music just to make everyone mad lol

Jaime has honks own dimension, it sometimes goes to it to see how everything is going (the dimension being an abandoned theme park)

They let other Specimens, monsters, dolls and unknowns in to play, although xe makes them leave after a while, claiming that staying for too long is risky

Hooky was a runaway and went to the mansion for security, didn't work out as planned for her

Parry isn't just red, xey can be green and blue too

When Parry has a host, xey are asleep and someone enters xem, the host will have trouble knowing where the person is, only when under xey're control or when xey are awake can the host know exactly where they are

Parry and Stanely are like roommates, they get along sometimes but they fight and annoy each other a lot

Stanely also has a furry coat

When first encountering Parry, xey were a greenhouse, xey kept trying to scare him and lock doors but he just kept pulling through, xey tried getting him attacked by ferocious plants and only let him have a scythe but he still lived, Parry got angry and tried xeir last trick was to turn into a mansion and hang him, and it worked

In some of the crates, Aurla has some things like files, or just random papers, in others there's some beach toys, in others theres drawings Bab made for him, that's another reason he doesn't get on the crates, he doesn't wanna accidentally break them

Lines can travel via electricity (through telephone poles, computers, wires.. obv he can't leave the mansion tho)

Taker and White Face are one of the biggest frenemies, they usually only get along when trying to harm others and most of the time they just argue

Tirsiak used to be extremely cold and mean to everyone besides Kanerek, he wanted nothing to do with anyone fearing they'd hurt him or he'd get attached only to lose them, but after a while of basically forced friendship activities he warmed up to Bab first and then slowly to everyone, hes still a prick but he's doing better

The ones made their own mansion, they only took in monsters that were similar to the creatures from Spooky's or made their own

They were created as back up and to challenge the others. They represent what the originals (reffering to the ones in Spooky's) don't wanna be and their trauma. The ones liked to joke and call some of them coincidences and calk them rip offs

Lisa is welsh and has a bit of an accent

None of the hospital monsters have forgiven Eyth for what xey did, it affected them all and Eyth takes it as a joke, xey constantly make fun of the monsters for being "petty"

Bekka and Jon are the only ones fluent in Japanese but their accent shows sometimes

Bekka has a lot of medical and biology based knowledge but is still a complete dumbass when it comes to almost anything else

Lisa hasn't and never will forgive her ex husband for shooting her. Hell she's happy that he's probably dead

Lisa has frequent aches and pains all around her body

Bekka REALLY likes chocolate

Tirsiak is very good at archery and hunting, as apposed to Kanerek who's pretty mediocre

Tirsiak used a spell to give himself antlers and appear more masc

Tirsiak had died in the past but never realized, his necklace kept him somewhat alive and is what gives him his powers

Bab sometimes cleans his sword, he's dissapointed in himself that it got a bit rusty as that sword used to belong to his dad

Aurla can talk to marine creatures and loves to take care of the landsharks

Jasper was interested in how humans made food so he'd often steal recipe books and try making things himself and when he got to the mansion, Otto helped him out

Jasper doesn't like being viewed as a fast food worker or manager, he just wanted to protect his kin from constantly being used as food

Spooper sees Lisa as his mom because his old parents were abusive and Lisa is the mother he never got to have

This makes Lisa very happy

Kal is like an older brother to Spooper

Bekka's hands are black due to frostbite

Noah is very good at reading people, mainly because of his own experience. He's very good at telling if you're lying, sad, happy, sketchy..

Noah had to be bumped down to a hospital patient due to an incident and Bekka was his nurse

Noah usually has to change his bandages, he thinks he looks hideous but most people think otherwise (especially Jon)

Tirsiak used to be very cold and aggressive towards everyone as stated before, his best friend had died thanks to Ben in the past and he lost his tribe and family. He trusted no one

Once he learned how to speak english better he would learn to cuss out and shoo most people away. He only trusted Kanerek

Bab always tried to be his friend but was regularly pushed away even if all Tirsiak wanted deep down was a friend again, he was just afraid of losing everything again so if there was nothing to love there was hardly anything to lose.

It took a long time of lectures but one day he noticed Bab didn't seem to get the hint. Actually it never seemed like they did. Tirsiak gave in and let Bab just hang around, Tirsiak was surprised to find that he somewhat enjoyed Bab's presence.

He started to be less of an ass, he let Bab just hang out with him.

Maybe having friends again wouldn't be a huge risk?

He decided to be a bit nicer, he's still harsh and agressive but makes an effort to make friends and be nice

He found that he really liked Hooky and Ringu, at first he merely thought they were attractive but now he really does love them

Tirsiak learned english via the others teaching him and him repeating what others said. That's where he got his voice lines from, he stole them from Kanerek (and she ended up changing hers)

Lisa knows sign language

Bab's mom was trying to contact him in the afterlife via the cult and the cult tbought she was mother. One day her grasp and connection was slipping and she told thet cult that Bab was the new mother

Despite this, Bab never planned to be a mother, but then came the landsharks

Bab doesn't mind being their mother figure

Lisa sometimes gets carried away and will write their thoughts or make random doodles on notes made for chases

Lisa likes to listen to music while drawing, Bekka will let her borrow her MP3 and headphones when they're hanging out

Lisa has tourretes and autism and often hums and twitches

They'll flail their hands and tip toe as a happiness stim

Jasper has major sensory issues and the slightest High pitch, weird looking thing, anything that feels uncomfortable, or smells bad or extremely strong it'll will drive him off the walls

Lisa was taken away from the hospital while trying to hide from GLA and when she reunited with the hospital monsters, whenever they sense a GLA is coming they get hostile and if Lisa is over, Bekka won't let go of her until they're gone

The dolls sometimes disobey Spooky and GLA because of how bitter they are about what happened

Hooky tends to drown her sorrows in alcohol and it's become a regular thing for her

Because of how GLA treated him, whenever Charles feels any negative emotion coming on he'll go to sleep, it often results in nightmares but the emotions most of the time go away and he feels better when he wakes up

Frenzy has tried helping them but Husker knows all too well that there's no helping them

Clicky doesn't regret killing her dad, she always knew he was a bad man

She also just doesn't care

She never cared if her mom was unwell, she never cared if her friends were hurt. Sure she has some sympathy for the mansion residents but not much

Clicky likes waking people up with her constant clicking

She can detach herself from walls and walk freely, not very easily but she can still do it

Hooky, despite it being part of the reason she's in the doll, treasures hooks and many slim sharp objects

Although she also has an interest for anchors and morning stars

Frenzy often bakes small things like cookies and cupcakes for people and shares it's recipes with Jasper and Otto

Otto, despite seeming like he'd be a dumbass, does have common sense

He takes no shit from White Face, constantly triea to tell off Tirsiak for being a dumbass, gives Lisa the rudest reassurance and just ignores Spooper and Kal

He's friends with Jasper but even he admits that Jasper isn't very bright

Otto can swim and is warerproof

The pizza he gives you is poisoned, but it usually fails or takes a long ass while to kick in no matter how many times he's tried different poisons

Otto is aware of the whole FNAF thing and hates being seen as some FNAF rip off and being called the names of the animatronics from FNAF

Otto used to be a cook before he died and was stuffed inside of Otto The Otter

Spooper will sometimes change his costume to sort of socialize and copy others (dressing in all black because of Bekka, wolf outfit because of Tirsiak, face paint for Jaime..)

Hooky is drunk when he chases you

Husker is emotionally detached and has no desire to be attached to anyone, it just knows they exist and pays no mind to them

Jaime doesn't like scaring people and admits that she wishes she didn't look so ugly

WF used to be bullied to a breaking point

She gets overly attached and easily falls in love with whoever even tolerates her

She is aware people can die from her game but she just wants literally any fun even if it's for a short while

She loves to wear dresses and likes to appear femminine, and HER is unsurprisingly her favorite form to take

WF constantly picks on everyone due to her past, shyer and weaker people are often her main victims

She loves teasing Lisa all the time and is often super rude to them even though deep down, WF does care about Lisa a little

Bekka has a room saved for Lisa for whenever they come over to visit to the hospital

They love watching movies together and hanging out

They're also super comfortable with each other and will fall asleep together

The deformity wing in the hospital is a psychological torture chamber Eyth made

Some of the residents have tried exploring it but either got lost or got scared and ran out

Lector loves to make sure things are spotless and perfect, if it's body bag gets even the smallest stain it'll be pissed

Taker has a collection of stuffed toys but doesn't tell anyone

He thinks they're cute

Bab found out and hasn't said a word about it to anyone

Bab also thinks plushies are cute and will often help him in his collecting

Taker is surprisingly a good babysitter, the kids adore him

It loves to get into mischief with whoever it's supposed to be babysitting and pull pranks

Tirsiak has a stuffed toy of a wolf that Hooky made for it

It treasures it dearly and doesn't let anyone touch it

It even sleeps with the toy

There's a sewed on heart on it too

Sleeping with it reminds him of Hooky

Ringu and Hooky love cuddling Tirsiak because he's fuzzy and Tirsiak and Ringu Love cuddling Hooky because soft

Ringu is also cuddle material to them

Hooky is good at knitting and making plushies

If anyone tries flirting with the creatures it often times leaves them confused or angry or both

The most common one to take the flirt and possibly flirt back is White Face

Bab used to have a girlfriend but they broke up because her gf was an asshole to others

Fleshy is very good at reading people, they're even better than Noah

Kat can too but is too apathetic to care

Kat forces a smiley face and a good attitude when Fleshy is soon about to chase them to give the victim a false sense of hope

Fleshy often has to calm down or stop Kat from being overly angry

Fleshy can hear the other souls but is also capable of tuning them out

Kat is the spirit of a GLA who was used for testing and nya killed Fleshy out of rage

Kat is capable of giving souls and bodies to fleshy but doesn't want to because xe doesn't care

Kat fucking hates other cats, hell xey hate almost everything

Fleshy on the other hand loves everything but doesn't love some organisms enough to let them live

Fleshy loves to cause trouble and is a general nuisance

Bekka hates wearing pink

Ben loves making and trying on outfits and will willingly wear dresses and anything embarrassing

Goop can be mixed with other substances but it makes him uncomfortable

Goop boils and heats up when he's mad

Two and Three are capable of reproducing asexually, but choose not to because they know not a lot of people wanna deal with mini S3s

Lines is quick to anger and violence

Her body is electrical when she's angry

So

Yeah

That's gotta hurt

Lisa has dyspraxia and autism

Bekka has ADHD

Whoa. (゜o゜;

[arabellaflynn]

The Eccentric has started a non-profit. It is not going well. He has hired me as one of two "operations managers", but won't let either of us handle any of the actual operations. Which is unfortunate, because it turns out that he is rubbish at small business administration. His main issue is that he has no relationship of any kind with the linear flow of time, and consequently no useful time management skills. He has no idea how long anything will realistically take, and, per the famous equation, no idea how much it's going to cost. This is bad under most circumstances, but ruinous when running on a shoestring budget. He is going to flame out spectacularly. It will be very sad. He has resisted every piece of advice everyone has ever given him about how to avoid this, so there is nothing I can do. I have resolved to let him pay me an hourly wage to watch the desk of his beloved debacle until our current engagement ends or I find a better job, whichever comes first. The two of us are friends for unconnected, mainly bachata-related reasons, so I'm not worried on that front; it is going to hit him very hard, though, and I'm well aware that I'm now part of the support system that will have to help him pick up the pieces. A lot of people who have known him for a very long time have come out to give him moral support, which is a good sign for the aftermath. One of them hugged me and told me I was "doing God's work" babysitting him and the project until it imploded. Ah, well. More interesting, and considerably less depressing, is the other ops manager the Eccentric scared up when the job was originally slated to be full time, and I said I could not do 40+ hours a week by myself. I keep wanting to call him the "new kid", which is really unfair of me. He is an adult, albeit a young one -- old enough to buy liquor, not old enough to rent a car. The Novyi is a newly-minted film school grad who turns out to have a number of quirks in common with the Eccentric, although mercifully he is far more laid-back in conversation, and seems to have a mailing address on Planet Earth. He also turns out to have an Asperger's Syndrome tag from before that diagnosis was revised out of existence. I've been giving him the tl;dr guide to Dealing With The Eccentric, which is mostly down to 'I love him to bits but he is not neurotypical, best be as blunt as possible when talking to him, and here is a handy quick-translation phrasebook'. A lot of the things I have brought up that other people find difficult to deal with are things the Novyi sees in himself, although in much milder form. This bodes well for the Novyi being part of the interface layer between the Eccentric and the outside world, assuming the Eccentric ever stop hoarding all the contact info for everybody and actually lets us do that. One of the most surprising ones was when I mentioned that the Eccentric had a friend radius of about five inches, and the Novyi basically just nodded and went 'yah, it me'. That got me curious. I had a hunch while I was stuck on the train home that night and typed 'autism spectrum disorders personal space' into Google, and holy smokes, I did not know that was a thing. Interpersonal distance is an important social signalling channel. It stands to reason that if one of your symptoms is a difficulty deciphering social signals, you'd be irregular in your handling of personal space. I had no idea that the skew was that consistent, though. There's one particularly striking study where the relative differences between comfortable distances for various conditions were almost identical between variable-matched autistic and non-autistic participants, but the absolute distances reported for the autistic participants were universally much closer. It's marked in the trials where the experimenter walked toward the participants, but even more so in the trials where the participants controlled the distance between themselves and the experimenter. The data for one autistic participant were discarded as an outlier when they literally got nose-to-nose with the experimenter without reporting any discomfort, which is a little bit yikes. [Similar results have been reported for trials measuring comfortable clearances around inanimate objects like coat racks. The experimenters spin that into a hypothesis about miscalibration in the amygdala-controlled 'let's maybe don't run into things' warning system, but that honestly just sounds like they're slapping around for a plausible guess. The results are interesting enough without the ass-pulls. Also not doing anything to dismantle my argument that the Eccentric has a really solid case of Weird Brains.] This may never come up with the Novyi again, outside of random chit-chat. It's only been a couple of weeks, and I've no idea how much friending he is interested in doing with a co-worker who is 15+ years his senior. On the other hand, I've already been asked point-blank whether we were at 'handshake' or 'hug'. If he does work substantially like the Eccentric here, he will give at most 2% of a shit about social convention, and the other 98% will be given over to figuring out where he wants to be standing vs. where I have given him permission to stand. I am inclined to think it is probably okay, question mark? I find the idea of an environment where people hug me and are glad that I show up to be quite pleasant, which automatically makes me suspicious, on the grounds that nothing I want could possibly be a good idea. It seems to work out all right with the Eccentric. Hanging on him like a fashionable scarf has never stopped me from saying no when he's being unreasonable, and I can honestly say that my 'no' has never prompted him to withhold affection. It may be an odd dynamic, but seems to be functional. The Novyi has seen me do it, so he knows I do have platonic friends who get clearance. I feel like I'm supposed to be skeptical of the Novyi's ability to know what he's about on the grounds of his youth. That seems unfair as well, especially inasmuch as he's got a good grasp on the 'ask first' part. He got a handshake the first time, which passed without note. The next time I saw him I reconsidered and decided hug was fine; I found out later, and then only in response to a comment I made about it, that he's pretty much always on the side of 'hug', to the point where it is a running joke among his friends. The implied universality of that is reassuring. It seems to be a class feature rather than a targeted thing. I gather from what he's said that it's not that he wants to loll on specific people so much as he kind of wants to do it to everyone in the 'friend' category. The ones who are actually subject to it are just the ones who have given him permission. People who zero in on me make me nervous, especially if they ask over and over and are obviously disappointed when I decline. So far the Novyi is on solid ground. I'm sure I'm overthinking this times a million, but the Eccentric took me by surprise, and to be honest, these are things of great significance to me. Affection was not really a thing my family got into, and I had to learn it from scratch as a teenager when I finally made some decent friends. I have a special sympathy for the idea of someone going through life knowing that standing on someone else's shoes is what feels like friendship, and also knowing that they can't ever do that, or their friends will feel crowded and run. It sounds like a special kind of hell. No wonder I got the Eccentric's attention so quickly when I decided to quit standing so far away. from Blogger https://ift.tt/2Vac7P9 via IFTTT -------------------- Enjoy my writing? Consider becoming a Patron, subscribing via Kindle, or just toss a little something in my tip jar. Thanks!

[fifty-first-worstidea]

Ladies, Gentleman, And Gremlins Of The Internet, May I Present To You The Dysfunctional Family Au For The Ericson’s Crew

Hey, that rhymes.

Basically, the children of TFS just can’t catch a break and end up with some interesting twists to their character.

Clementine: Dementia

Sometimes her lack of judgement causes her to make the wrong choices, which result in somewhat serious consequences (Player making choices)

Sometimes she will not be able to get a sense of distance and fail at simple tasks (Quick time events)

AJ: Misophonia

Gets angry at the sound of somebody slamming a door, feels sad when he hears somebody crying

The computer doesn’t understand what Misophonia is and honestly I feel smart

Louis: Insomnia, mute

Finds it hard to communicate because sometimes he’s too tired to sign

As Violet’s roommate, he often asks her to sing him to sleep because otherwise he has a hard time catching his Z’s

Violet: Schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder

In the presence of people who may be violent or emotionally unstable she sees crows perched on objects that sometimes try to talk her. What they’re saying is indiscernible but it gives her some kind of clue as to what’s in the room

Her childhood has a big effect on her personality. Being told to shut up at a young age took it’s toll and now hearing her talk is rare. It may be part of the reason she’s such good friends with Louis

Marlon: Bipolar disorder

More often than not he’s angry or sad, and there is no in between. He has scars on his knuckles from all the punching he does to walls in his spare time. Marlon feels like it’s the only time he gets to blow off steam

Often yelling at people and apologizing five minutes later, rat man Marlon has a hard time getting a grip on his feelings. He tries to warn people about his disorder when he first meets them

Mitch: Dissociative identity disorder

While he doesn’t have a name for his second personality, but it has a soft spot for his fellow troubled youth. It’s defined by its increased sympathy and lack of aggression

Mitch’s other personality is often preferred by the more mentally delicate kids, including Violet and Tenn. While otherwise unapproachable by them, he still has a slight guilt for how vulnerable they are no matter what persona he takes on

Ruby: Alzheimer's/short-term memory loss

Ruby struggles to remember names, but she can remember faces pretty well. Try not to get offended if she never addresses you by name

She has forgotten people themselves before, even Violet, who is around in her life often. When she couldn’t remember Vi’s name she was a bit confused as to why Vi started tearing up

Tennessee: Post traumatic stress disorder

Tenn cowers in fear at the sight of flames. He could never get used to them after the explosion that left a portion of his face burnt

He can struggle to open up to people, especially if they have a love for fire. This makes for a rocky relationship with Mitch and Willy

Aasim: Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

He has a hard time paying attention to other things once his book is opened. It sort of melts his ability to multitask, making it necessary to pull the book from his gaze and talk to him head-on

Aasim is always frustrated about his hyperfixations, but lately he’s been trying to be more laid-back about them. He thinks he might be getting better at remembering that the world still exists while he’s reading

Omar: Synesthesia

Omar considers his disorder a gift, and his cooking an art. Though others may not experience it, he tries to create sort of an art out of food, because he can “taste the rainbow,” as the cool kids call it nowadays

The reason he’s so picky about his food is the same reason an artist might be dissatisfied by their pieces. It can be hard to get everything exactly right. That may be why he wants to improve and become a famous chef one day

Brody: Generalized anxiety disorder

Ah, yes, nervous little Brody. Her Xanax tablets don’t stand a chance when she’s feeling awfully anxious about something... which is to say, she’s nervous about everything. She closed herself off in her room a while ago; the only people to visit her are Marlon and Violet, who have been her best friends ever since she showed up to the sanatorium

She once listened to Violet’s descriptions of the things she sees that nobody else does and immediately thought to herself that at least her disorder could be worse. She takes a great pity in Violet’s condition and is almost hyper-tuned in to her best friend’s emotions or thoughts

Willy: Autism

Often sort of let down by the staff of the hell these misfits call home, Willy has few friends to trust in. Mitch, James, and Violet or sort of like his parents. They’ve all contributed to making him a unique character that knows how to love and accept himself as he is

He has a surprising passion for knitting, and thinks it’s kind of similar to how Tenn draws and Omar cooks. It’s safe to say Willy learns by connecting dots. James and Violet find his thinking fascinating and have had a few conversations about it when they find it harder to sleep

Minerva & Sophie: Depression

Minerva is a dead giveaway when you first meet her- she’s not the best at hiding away her flaws when the staff come around to check on the kids they’re in charge of. She’s not suicidal, she just finds that happiness is hard to reach for and keep in your back pocket

Sophie’s a bit more of a surprise. As somebody with a bubbly pastel aesthetic nobody expects her dark personality and sad thoughts. She’s more aggressive than Minerva and is a bit more unhinged, but it hasn’t gone past mental breakdowns, so the staff aren’t doing much right now

James: Borderline personality disorder

James is similar to Violet in a variety of ways, the biggest one being that they share a disorder. However, while Violet will stay silent for periods of time, James feels hostile and wants to throat punch somebody

He sucks at controlling his impulses to just hurt something or something. It can be overwhelming and whenever James faces his disorder he goes to Charlie for comfort

Charlie:Attention deficit disorder, generalized anxiety disorder

While his disorder doesn’t seem as severe as Aasim’s, it’s important to know that Charlie still has trouble catching what people say and can sometimes completely miss the words coming out of somebody’s mouth. Try to be patient with him when he asks you to repeat what you said fifty times

Despite his self-confidence on the surface, Charlie has a number of insecurities on the way he acts alone. He is often trying to evaluate himself to discover what needs improvement and what needs tweaks

Behold. My children. The troubled youth of Ericson’s Sanatorium or whatever. I dunno, pick the name yourselves. I just wanna protect all these overgrown toddlers who need hugs.

[anautisticdragon-blog]

Atypical

Sigh.

Where do I even begin with this? So, Netflix wants everyone to believe that all autistic people are these violent monsters, prone to rape, stalking, physical abuse, and worse. That might be true of manipulative sociopaths, but usually autistic people just mind their own business and don't make a habit of punching women. I want to just point out that from the autistic people I've spoken with who've been involved in long-term, loving relationships versus the neurotypicals I know who break up every three months or so? Yeah. And is it autistic people who're the people you usually find involved in domestic abuse statistics? No.

This is the kind of thing that plays on my mind's desire to be tribalistic. I have to take a very, very deep breath and remind myself that whilst it's true that some neurotypicals can be vapid, hollow-minded, manipulative, borderline, and nauseatingly parasitic, that's not really true of the majority.

I want to think that. I have to. I can't keep falling prey to the kind of tribalism that results in these smears being used against us. It's the golden rule. So, do the sordid examples of humanity responsible for Atypical fit the descriptors above? Yeah. I'd say that's true of the actors, too, for going along with it. Is this true of most people? Nah. And yes, there are autistic people who can be like that too. The problem is is that reality can be twisted by the 'default state.'

This is something I've talked about at length. At length. And I'm going to again. I'll do it until I'm blue in the face. I'll do it until I die. I'm sick of it. It's such an innate flaw with teh human condition. I actually think we need an AI to conquer and nanny us because we can't get over something so easily conquered. If I can be aware of it and fight it, why can't others? Why would a show like this ever make it to Netflix? I'm not being unfair, I don't think. Do you remember the premiere of 'Neurotypicals,s' a series about the self-proclaimed "beautiful" zombie-vampires who prey on the unwitting by being degenerate manipulators? I didn't think so. That's because that never happened, of course.

And yet here we are, Atypical. A show that's doing basically that with autistic people, putting every horrible autistic stereotype front and centre. And why aren't we getting 'Neurotypicals?' That's because neurotypicals are the 'default state,' the correct way of being. That's how they view themselves, because they're taught to think that way, and they don't realise why it's wrong. That's why we have entitled white men who think that prejudice is 'those filthy plebeians who talk about me behind my back.'

This reminds me of Dreamfall Chapters.

I had a lot of faith in Ragnar before this happened. I still remember just how disappointed I felt in him. I wasn't angry. It was just sad. What did he do, what did Dreamfall do? It had a scene where someone was verbally stripped down and abused for being autistic. Ragnar's excuse? "If people in the real world can be so terrible, so can people in believable stories. Grow a spine!"

Lovely fellow. I really had more faith in him than that. You see, the problem was actually not that the prejudice was there in the first place, but the self-congratulatory air with which it happened.

No one called it out, there was no one to chide the abuser and speak up against a rather obvious social faux pas and taboo. It normalised ableism and made it appear okay, normal, and acceptable. It no doubt made ableists happy, to feel normalised by this game. That's just sick. What was Ragnar's response? He knew that this was the reason that people were objecting, but he stuck to his original argument and spammed it across the Internet in the hopes it would just go away. Eventually, of course, it did. Mostly because Dreamfall Chapters was a massive disappointment in and of itself, as a package, going far beyond just the autistic slight. It was forgettable, so I suppose that's a small blessing.

The thing is? This kind of thing keeps happening. Now it's happening with Atypical, which Netflix thinks is okay. Would Netflix have greenlit 'Neurotypicals,' do you think? I don't think so.

No, autistic people have to deal with this shit all the time. Frankly, looking at the current climate, things haven't improved much since I was young. And when I was young I was physically abused beyond measure just for being autistic. I think that things for autistic people right now are worse even than for people of colour and women. It's unfortunate that I have to say that, but look up the Judge Rotenberg Center and tell me I'm entirely off the mark. In fact, have a read of this letter.

When was the last time this happened to a neurotypical? And this is what fires my brain to get tribal about it, to despise neurotypicals. Because NTs are blind to this, because they never take notice, because they think it's funny and cute to take the piss out of autistic people? It creates this division, this tribalism, and it's really difficult to fight it. It feels like a one-sided fight. I feel that, as an autistic person, I am fighting my own mind -- day in, day out -- to not despise neurotypicals. And every day I see new examples of neurotypicals abusing us, treating us like shit, or just having a 'good old laugh' at our expense.

It's really tiring, you know?

The whole 'default state' thing sickens me. If you're white, healthy, cishet, privileged, good for you! You're the 'default state,' you're neurotypical, you're 'normal!' That's great! Now look around you and see how many people are weaponising that to make the lives of others miserable. I'm so detached from humanity that I've even become sensitive to the prejudices in fantasy settings, which I've discussed in prior posts. Often I feel more sympathy for and open empathy towards non-humans than humans.

The humans in fantasy settings just always come across as the abusive, nasty examples I've had to deal with all my life. The non-humans feel like autistic people, persons of colour, and those others who're outside of the 'default state.' I mean, when a neuronormative person who's a part of the 'default state' and not aware of it, when they look at a picture of a bunch of 'heroes' ganging up on a dragon, it comes across as 'epic,' to them, it's 'heroic.'

I see a bunch of looters and bandits, who've burst into someone's home with murder in their eyes. I see the dragon as someone who's found themselves in a position where they have to defend themself against invaders, against people who'd kill them for no reason other than that they're a dragon. That makes me feel a little ill. This is the world I live in, where even fantasy prejudice affects me. I can't help it. When I live in this reality, one where Atypical is a thing, can you blame me?

I'm going to end this on a more positive note and give a shout out to my favourite boys, the McElroys. They've been making strides in trying to be inclusive. What I will say is that if you really want to do that, one thing I'd love to see in The Adventure Zone is a believable autistic character. One that isn't just all about the stereotypes. I'd really love to see that. One that isn't portrayed as sociopathic (which is wrong) just because they have so much empathy it short circuits them sometimes and they have to withdraw, and so on. I'd really, really appreciate that.

This is why I'm glad I don't watch 'normal' TV any more. Fuck 'normal' TV. Fuck Netflix, frankly. I'd prefer something that's inclusive and doesn't make money off of ruining the lives of others. So, yeah. Fuck Netflix. I'd prefer to give my money to people who choose to be inclusive and permissive. That's something I truly value about the McElroys, and they're a constant example to me that neurotypicals aren't all terrible, awful, parasitic, exploitative people. Whenever my mind wants to fall into that pit trap, I remind myself that they exist.

Could be that they're all as autistic as fuck, of course. Heh. But I doubt it. I'll just take them as examples of good neurotypicals, proof that they can exist.

I know this has become a bit of a thing to say about them by this point but... They're good boys. I wish that more people could create entertainment founded on the truly inclusive ideals that they have instead of othering people for entertainment. That shit is harmful. It's going to just reinforce negative stereotypes of autistic people, and autistic kids are going to grow up to another generation of people who aren't self-aware enough to realise that Atypical and shows like it aren't accurate depictions of autism.

At the end of the day, though, I don't hate neurotypicals. I won't. In fact, I categorically refuse to let tribalism win. I want to reach them rather than just turning this hate back on them. So I'll just say that I wish that more of them were aware of this 'default state' is really toxic, and how miserable it makes the lives of others when it's weaponised for their entertainment. It's really not cool.

Not cool at all.

Edit: So, I've done some more reading about this and the autistic community at large seems to be in consensus about Atypical. It's generally just neurotypical writers creating a 'ha ha, look at the idiot' show for other neurotypicals. It's quite painfully obvious in how they did their best to avoid casting autistic actors for the main role, as that may have -- oh no -- resulted in someone calling them on their evil BS.

It gets even better. Check out this review from TV Line. The excuse this reviewer gives is golden. Apparently, for not being the default state -- O Glorious Superiority -- autistic people are unfit for television. We need neurotypical actors to humanise us. What the actual fuck? This is precisely the kind of ableism shows like Atypical promote. It's pure exploitation.

It really is just exploiting us for NT yuks, pure and simple. It's awful, honestly. I watched bits of it here and there and I couldn't stand it.

I saw one post on Twitter that had the following exchange:

"So, you're going to marry your best friend..." "Edison?" "No, not your turtle!" "But you said my best friend!"

And this was followed with 'Atypical is my new, favourite show.' Why? Because it's funny to laugh at the poor, sub-human, troglodytic autistic retards? Oh, poor little hobgoblins.

Sigh.

My brain wants to give into the hate so badly, I can't convey to you how difficult this fight is when all I see are neurotypicals talking about how fantastic Atypical is.

It fucking hurts. It just makes it all the more difficult to not just blanket hate neurotypicals. I am trying, believe me.

I am trying. But Atypical is also trying, it's fraying my last nerve.

That TV Line interview, god. Why do neurotypicals hate us this much? I can't get over it. I try not to make blanket statements but I don't exactly see neurotypicals talking about how bad Atypical is for us. Like I said, generally they're just being vapid all over Twitter and Facebook about how much they love it.

I'm trying so god damned hard to not blanket hate neurotypicals, then something like Atypical has to come along and make the fight against my own darker urges all the more difficult. I don't want to be responsible for that kind of prejudice. It's just so difficult.

I don't even hate them, I guess. I just... I hate them in a way for what I have to be, and the kind of fight I have to fight against myself to not hate them. Which may sound illogical, I know. I admit to having hated neurotypicals for the longest time for precisely this sort of thing. It hurts. It hurts a fucking lot.

I just feel that as much as I try to not hate neurotypicals, they want to hurt me back for trying to hate them twice as bad.

Why? Why is that?

I'm just going to leave this as another shout out to the McElroys, I'd love to see them talk about this. I think it'd do me good to hear neurotypicals actually decry this kind of thing. I just hope they happen to see this, I really do.

That TV Line interview... FML. I'll just leave this at that.

[whatchareadingbri]

Books I Just Finished: An Unseen Attraction

K. J. Charles is my favorite m/m romance writer because I usually still enjoy reading the book even if I’m not really feeling the main couple’s dynamic. Which was unfortunately the case with this one.

One thing with her books is that either I am super, hella into the main couple to the point that I want a million fanfics (Think of England and Jackdaw) or the relationship does nothing for me (rest of the Magpie series, Simon Feximal). But she kinda plays with different romance tropes and dynamics with every couple, so whenever we are on the same page, it’s wonderful.

And the other thing I like about her books is that she seems to make a real, conscious effort on the representation front, including minority characters and characters with disabilities. One of the leads in this one is both, being an Indian man living in Victorian London who is on the spectrum. (They don’t have the vocabulary for exactly what he is, of course, but his behavior and way of thinking are definitely meant to signal autism...and dsypraxis? A lot of other reviews I read picked up on that, but I don’t know enough about it.) His love interest, Rowley, is one of the few who doesn’t get impatient with his off-kilter way of thinking and trouble with social nuance. Rowley and Clem get together really early in the book, and while they are very sweet and domestic, it wasn’t in a way that caught my attention much.The relationship is nice; Rowley goes out of his way to make Clem comfortable, and Clem is a sweetheart. But it didn’t have enough of the kind of interpersonal drama I like. Different strokes, etc. What actually bothered me about their relationship is that it almost seems like Rowley is expected to be the amazing supportive boyfriend through all of Clem’s decisions, even the ones that are objectively insane. The whole huge fight because Rowley doesn’t want to turn over the evidence of the brother’s marriage is what took the cake for me. Clem’s side of things is completely understandable, don’t get me wrong. But my sympathy for him was a lot more limited than I felt like the book wanted it to be. I felt like Rowley was owed a massive apology. Instead he apologizes to Clem, for not understanding that the two of them had “different ideas of sensible” and that he had acted without consulting him first. And like, well, yes, but...you got your shop burned down and a guy tried to murder you. And your boyfriend tried to hand over the only evidence you had to his scumbag brother. You’re allowed to not let him do that when your safety is on the line! You’re allowed to be angry about that, Rowley! Basically, I just felt like Clem was (again, completely understandably) being not only an idiot but kind of an asshole there, and he should have been the one apologizing. BUT, the plot shenanigans were pretty great. There was arson! Secret wives! Murder! Lost heirs! I live for Victorian melodrama. Now I wish I hadn’t looked at the plot summaries for the next two books, because they spoiled who the twins turn out to be. And I don’t know that I would have guessed that particular twist! Also, screw all you guys, Repentance and Regret are excellent names. They sound like something from the fucking Addams family.

Also also, I saw Nathaniel and Justin Lazarus being the main couple of the next book basically from the moment he said his name. (“Lazarus? What a tool, what a con artist, what-No, those aren’t my notes, it’s for an article I’m doing, guys, just listen.”) I’m really looking forward to reading the next one, because I kind of loved Nathaniel in this, and the relationship sounds really interesting.