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me: fuuuuck… i really feel like this dish needs a little something extra …..

the flavorful garlic:

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Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country

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Hey, a while ago I called you fat. I just wanted to apologize. I’ve recently gained a lot of weight and now I’m fat, too. Definitely wouldn’t appreciate it if someone called me fat.

Fat bitch

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They took me and hooked me up to a machine and took all my blood out and replaced it with horse blood

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how can i make my body stay asleep at night

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it’s too dangerous to go alone. here take this

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ME: I know you from somewhere

PJACKK: I get that a lot

ME: No I'm sure

PJACKK: Just one of those faces

ME: [bending my arms at the elbow and raising my hands above my head] Go like this

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incredible picture of my neighbours puppies

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bro why are you getting a masters degree were just going to 7 11 is something wrong with you

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a gnat just beat me up and left me in a ditch

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Hey, a while ago I called you fat. I just wanted to apologize. I’ve recently gained a lot of weight and now I’m fat, too. Definitely wouldn’t appreciate it if someone called me fat.

Fat bitch

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