#basically all the depressed dudes in pop culture

[mischas]

favorite marissa ships other than ryissa? (crackships/crossover chips included)

Fun!

Marissa/Alex

Marissa/Zach

Marissa/Luke post Oliver rather than Julie/Luke

Marissa/Seth in a way that doesn't tread on Marissa/Summer somehow (they're actually more sacred than Ryan/Seth ever was and the book is in denial of this but whatever)

Marissa/Nate Archibald

Marissa/Jen Lindley

Marissa/Pacey Witter (god, a fave crackship. one day i will write it)

Marissa/Logan Echolls

Marissa/Connell Waldron

Marissa/Jess Mariano

[nicnavarrocage]

In addition to my MSPA ideas

Prison Part 2, also known as Jailbreak: Extended Play, is basically a different version of the Jailbreak adventure, including dialogue, animation, narrative shiftings from 1st person to 2nd person between characters, and even interactive pages... IF I CAN CODE THEM. Each stick figure character will be named, and some will look distinct.

This is the "Beyond Canon Mockery" adventure I mentioned on my previous post, also known as "Homestuck: Beyond Fucked Up" or "Beyond Awful." It's a changearound of Beyond Canon's story, with worsened content, but mocked in a self-aware way, has a lot of pop culture stuff, also mocks the controversy and culture around Homestuck, and introduces a character named " The Story Wizard," an obnoxious, plot fiddling, story changing, retconning, King of Town alien who's always here to make the story worse. In this adventure, John actually hates everything around him, probably just me making fun of his descent into depression, wheras in the original comic he's an emo James Rolfe, while here, he's nihilistic.

Freeplay is an adventure with no plot, no story, no gods, no masters, no author, just fun, but a few set of rules. You can do anything you want here. It's the infinite canvas of MS Paint Adventures, with loads of creativity for one simple panel.

There are a trinity of commands, however. NULLIFY will reset everything, REGRESS will revert a command that someone has submitted, and DISORDER will scramble the story you create into random, inconvenient places.

Nepal Silo was an adventure I was thinking about earlier this year. It's about a group of young researchers who live on a cold, snowy landscape, sometimes peppered with aliens and oddities. It's gonna have the same style as Homestuck, but it's not gonna have that "There's a teenager in his room and he shall be named, plus a world ending supergame" bullshit.

I was also planning to give this adventure a Kelly Bailey inspired soundtrack, obviously because of the planned influence from Half Life.

And here is one I dare to create. Adventure Boy! Planned to be an adventure about some kid (oddly looking similar to Zoosmell Pooplord) in a fantasy world that doesn't know him at all. The main, titular character is extremely joyful, almost stereotype joyful, and yet the world he's in ranges from dark to careless. Yeah, it's obviously one big trope made into an MS Paint Adventure, but I don't care.

Another one I'm thinking about is this oddball. It's a story about your favorite spider bitch doing really stupid stuff towards every other troll in the style of a Homestar Runner storybook (See: Sbemail 100 or Homestar Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest). Later in the book, the protagonist redeems herself off of being too mean.

But least could we forget, another project in the making. It's been done before, but we'll do it again. Comedy gold, adequate. Irony, stunning.

SWEET BOR AND HELLA JYEFF VIDYA GAEM DUDES INNERACTIVE COMIC made by ya boy Dave s. with iorny

Yes, I'm doing a Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff adventure. This one is more gaming based than slice of life or adventure. Think of it as early SBaHJ.

There's also gonna be a few new "bros" introduced into this comic. One's with a green shirt whom I call "THAT DUDE," and a pink shirt named "STAN-SO-CASH." Does Geromy count as a bro? WHO KNOWS!

At last, we have this.

An MS Paint Adventures adaptation of Homestar Runner's "Thy Dungeonman." This is basically gonna be a warm-up to everything else I'll do on MSPFA, sort of a practice to see if I can actually work on what I can correctly. I ended up doing Jailbreak: Extended Play first. The command system of Thy Dungeonman would be really hard to replicate in the MS Paint Adventures format, so suggestions will be sent one by one. Or I could just do the Bard Quest treatment.

So uh, BYE!

[myownlittlehell]

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ ℍ𝕚 my name is Chai! I made this blog because I wanted to make something online that represented me. Not just my art, but my interests, my spirituality, everything that's me. Because when I think about it, I don't really know myself too well. But with this, I hope things will change. You know the meme I am cringe but I am free, that's me, that's this blog! I feel like if there's a cringe bingo I could fill that bitch up. 𝕀 also just wanted a social media platform that didn't feel like I had to constantly shill for interactions. At this point, I'm going in with the mindset of, if someone sees it, neat, if not, also neat! ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆ 𝕊ome things about me are: ⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 make art (albeit very slowly) ⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 love video games, mostly Nintendo ones (Pokemon and Mario especially) but I'm working on getting a gaming PC together so I can branch out. ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 was HEAVILY into Witchblr and whatnot back in the day, and still practice some spirit work and whatnot despite stepping away from the community. Mostly Pop Culture Paganism and PC spirit work in specific (Oh yeah I told you I'm gonna be cringe on main woah boy). Spiritual stuff really fascinates me, it always has. ⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀'𝕞 a stoner, mostly an edible user, but I truly believe that marijuana can be beneficial for certain people like it was for me. ⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀'𝕞 a kinnie, yup. ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀'𝕞 in college as an art student, but because I'm unable to drive and a bit broke (disability payments go brrr) my associates is taking…a bit longer than I'd like. ⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 know DNI's are kind of a meme, but beyond the obvious DNI criteria of being a semi-decent person on the internet, I do believe that others have a right to criticize what I post, it's a public blog on the internet after all. I truly believe that it is important to not shut out anyone with a different opinion, even if it's not put in the nicest way possible. ⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕥 being said, depending on how I'm feeling I may not be willing to do a typical online debate or whatever. Basically what I'm trying to limit my sperg rambling to is that I'm open to criticism, but I may not always engage with it. I do believe that the meaning of harassment has been watered down a lot and I want to keep an open mind, honesty with one's self was the main reason I wanted to make this blog in the first place, so who am I to try and censor someone else right? Just keep it decent, that's all. ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀 guess other things about me is that I'm a fucked up little dude. I've been diagnosed with a lot of shit and it does effect my day to day life. Things like, ASD, BPD, OCD, (a lot of D's) ADHD, Cerebral Palsy, and of course because it's Currrent Year, Depression and Anxiety (especially the social kind). ⋆｡˚☽☁️☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆ 𝕀𝕗 you made it through my ramblings…congrats! I'm genuinely grateful someone read this, hopefully I don't come off too wierd, but if so oh well, such as life. ⋆｡˚☽🌈☽˚｡⋆

⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆ 𝕎𝕖 live in Hell after all, why not be honest about it? ⋆｡˚☽🌌☽˚｡⋆

[emmythespacecowgirl]

Could I request a ship?

I have short dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have pearl earrings currently. I am 5'6. I am also ftm and gay.

I am currently learning German and Ukrainian. I play the cello (I would say that I'm pretty decent at it). I want to join the paratroopers soon and maybe get a doctorate degree in the medical field. I like writing books, reading, and drawing. I am very interested in history mainly the 20th century. I also know how to cross-country ski and love the winter.

My MBTI type if I remember correctly is INTJ. I love procrastinating and do well under a lot of pressure. I'm also very stubborn and awkward with talking to people so I don't have many close friends. For some reason, I have a sort of knack for doing things well, even if it's the first time I've tried it and that might be because I listen really closely to stuff to make sure I'm doing everything correctly. I need a straightforward path and a list of things I should do to get something done.

I have depression, anxiety and maybe (I say maybe because it's undiagnosed) maladaptive daydreaming, which basically means I daydream too much that it's a problem. Any small words of affection or reassurance sends me through the roof and makes me happy for the rest of the day (idk why). I also get angry very quickly and forget things quickly.

I am converting to Judaism so that’s cool. My sense of clothing style is just me pretending I’m in the military, pleather jackets, heavy jackets that are either camo or dark green, aviator sunglasses, a lot of neutral colours, fancy dress shirts/blouses, combat boots (which I currently do not own so just tennis shoes or winter boots), I have a few BoB pins which I have created on my own :) I like wearing t-shirts in winter under my jacket just because. The t-shirts usually have designs like aeroplanes, space, and museum shirts. I also have a collection of shirts from places I’ve never been cause I think it’s hilarious. I do a lot of things just cuz I think they’re funny.

I keep a lot of stuff in my pockets “just in case”. I impulse buy, which is a big insecurity of mine. People intimidate me easily so I usually wait to get approached to start a conversation. I like watching adventure shows like extinct or alive or expedition unknown.

 I would say that I have a very dark sense of humour and am almost always sarcastic when talking to my friends (also I love irony). I have an interesting music taste, most any song I listen to goes onto my liked songs on Spotify heh. I sometimes slip into a British accent or one that isn’t mine at all.

I tend to get myself injured a least once daily. (this is a not a problem for me anymore)

Wow can I just say that you sound like the most interesting person?! I feel like we would honestly be friends irl. I also really need someone to teach me how to cross-country ski, bc I’ve never done that before 🤭

I ship you with:

Lewis Nixon from Band of Brothers!

Ship theme song: Real Love by The Beatles

Y’all make the most interesting couple!

You both know a lot about really obscure stuff

Two Encyclopedia Bitches In Love💕

He finds your dark brown hair and brown eyes so sexy

The two of you know soooo many languages

He loves when you speak Ukrainian to him

Since that is one language that he hasn’t quite picked up yet

Meeting you during the war in Germany and he thinks your German at first because you speak the language so well

Lew was raised on classical music

So he loves sitting down with a glass of Chardonnay while you play your cello

Is very supportive of you entering the medical field

You probably meet at a field hospital during Bastogne

I feel like you two will have a huge shared library of books together

Lew is a lover of pop culture and history

He can spew weird history facts at you all day

And he loves that you probably already know all of them🤭

You love to ski?!

This dude will literally buy a Swiss mountain chalet just so you can both going skiing together in the winter months

Intj and entp personalities are very complimentary just saying

Y’all nickname your house Procrastination Station

Literally, all Nix ever did during the war

Besides drink

Was work under pressure

But he’ll never push you to do anything you don’t want to do

Nix lives in a very laidback manner

And he’s glad that you do, too

This man hates to be rushed through life

Nix was that Gifted And Talented kid in school

So he relates to your ability to do things perfectly the first time

Those first few years after the war were tough on you both

Nix had a lot of baggage coming out of the war

So he understands your need to be alone

And for escapism

Nix has a way with words

And he’s getting better at showing his true affection and fondness for you through kind reassurances

He’s a great gift giver

And an impulse buyer like yourself

So your home is probably loaded with boxes of random stuff Nix just picked up for you during the course of his day

Nix isn’t really religious

Nor is he that spiritual

But he’s supportive of your conversion to Judaism

He thinks it’s a very interesting culture

He has no problem with introducing you to new people

Since he knows it can be difficult for you to approach others

In fact, he’s quite good at making connections for others

Nix loves your sense of humor

It gels perfectly with his own

You never fail to make him laugh when he’s having a bad day

And for that he is eternally thankful

[aforrestofstuff]

Miscellaneous Zombieman, Metal Bat, and Garou Headcanons:

Zombieman:

Does not wear mitts when taking shit out of the oven because burns mean nothing to him. It’s a useless investment when you can scarcely feel pain and recover from every injury imaginable.

Drinks even though he can’t get drunk. Likes beer for the taste.

Feeds the stray cats whatever food he doesn’t eat. Has a habit of cooking too much for himself.

Even though he’s Zombieman and can regenerate pretty much anything, he still has to get any debris out of his body because it’s really uncomfortable to just leave it in there. Keeps a surgeon kit on hand at home, takes any pieces out of him in the shower, and has acquired a very basic knowledge on human anatomy from this.

Keeps a gun in the shower because paranoia + negative wisdom is a deadly combination.

Does not vibe with the concept of authority and will treat all of his higher-ups like he treats an acquaintance. He doesn’t go out of his way to be disrespectful or anything, but he wouldn’t be caught dead kissing anyone’s ass either.

He’s not the guy you want to talk to when managing money. He has not filed his taxes since the nineties.

Keeps a card on him that lets security know he has metal implants in his body whenever he needs to step through a detector. Makes up a different story each time (steel aorta, brain implant, metal kneecap, etc.), when it’s literally just the stupid gun he keeps in his chest.

Metal Bat (Badd):

Probably one of the most normal people in the S-Class, in my opinion. Like he’s still very unique as a person but in terms of the life he lives, it’s pretty much just ordinary.

Likes horror gore fest movies. Hates blood in real life but finds comfort in having the control to see it onscreen or not. Sort of like a coping mechanism, but he’s also just liked stuff like that since he was a kid.

Very into the giant robot sub-genre of cartoons and anime (Voltron, Gundam, Transformers, etc.). Basically just any cheesy 80s cartoon or movie. He’s very interested in the idea of the “perfect hero” as it’s portrayed in most of this media and often holds himself to that ideal, although naively.

Is a very patient person when he wants to be. He can be very pissed off but also extremely kind and understanding. He’s smart enough to assess whatever situation he’s in and apply the best parts of himself to it, which makes him very adaptable.

Has ADHD, is unmedicated. Suffers in school because of this.

Has been prescribed medication for anger and depression but never takes it unless he’s having a seriously bad time.

T-shirt and jeans are his default outfit choice when not in uniform. Has an unholy amount of graphic tees and Levi’s that he’s accumulated over the years.

Loves listening to heavy metal.

Garou:

Is allergic to cats. Hates Tama because of this.

Also lactose intolerant.

Eats a lot in one sitting because it’s a survival mechanism. He stockpiles calories because, for the longest time, he wouldn’t know where his next meal would be coming from. It takes him a while to unlearn this behavior once he’s in a steady home life.

Hates being touched. Some part of him always interprets it as an attack. Also another behavior that takes him a while to unlearn once he’s in a safe environment.

His hair SUCKS and it literally has the texture of dried grass.

Silverfang used to keep an old TV and VHS player around for the kids in his dojo, and Garou would watch all the tapes over and over until they wore out. His favorite show as a kid was Thundercats.

Is straight up the most awkward dude on the planet once he’s not trying to kill anybody.

Actually not helpless when it comes to cleaning, cooking, and maintaining a home because those are all skills Silverfang would’ve taught him at the dojo. He’s a decent homemaker when he has an incentive to be.

Sucks at video games because he’s never played them in his life.

Does not understand a lot of pop culture references due to him being a recluse for most of his life, both socially and physically.

[hiis-theme]

as an undertale fan who absorbed wayyyyy too much au content when i was like nine/ten, y’know something that bothers me?

when people say that errortale, inktale and underfresh are a thing.

i can’t say for that last one for sure, but i CAN say for sure that errortale and inktale do NOT exist.

this’ll be under the cut.

for any uneducated swines (/lh) who don’t know, error!sans (i’ll just be calling him error cuz everyone does so) was originally geno!sans (again, i’ll just be calling him geno)/aftertale sans/whatever you want to call him. geno’s timeline was a genocide, and he like. injected himself with determination or something and ended up in the save file screen with his timeline’s frisk (cuz they were kicked out of their body by chara) and now he’s stuck there.

BUT ANYWAYS. he gets yeeted into the Anti-Void and (taking this from the Undertale AU Fanon wiki), “he slowly becomes an Error, like all other beings who stay in the anti-void for too long. Once someone fully converts into an Error, they lose a large part of who they are, but their personality as an Error is determined by the nature of their final thoughts before they became an Error. In Geno's case, those thoughts were of one of regret, remorse, and bitterness for having done this to himself after receiving the happy ending he worked so hard to achieve, only to receive it by trusting in a more naive version of himself. Those thoughts caused him to hate quite literally everyone other than himself, making him miserable and lonely once his transformation was complete and pushing him to hunt down every single AU to destroy them. In the end, he was his own undoing[.]”

so yeah, errortale doesn’t exist. or rather it does but it’s just the ask blog for error so it basically doesn’t exist.

now onto inktale and ink!sans (who again, i’ll just be calling ink). this is the one that people most try to make an actual au for, since there’s an ink unitale(?) fight and i’ve seen several versions of it (including: ink!flowey, ink!chara, ink!asriel and ink!papyrus... granted i think ink!chara’s just meant to be a storyshift version of it but idk for sure).

his backstory according to the Undertale AU Fanon wiki is as follows: “Coming from a half made universe, the Sans from this forgotten AU destroyed his own soul in order to escape. After falling through the multiverse, he arrived in a new, blank void. Now having no soul, he could no longer feel emotions. From this new void however, he discovered color, and each color granted him another emotion. The color didn't last forever though, so he bottled up every color he could, so that he could feel emotions whenever he wanted to.”

so basically he was in an au but it was forgotten and he ended up becoming a protector of aus (presumably to stop others from meeting the same fate he did?).

uh yeah.

and now for underfresh.

“In this world, it’s sk8 or be sk8ed. This AU is a comedic parody of Undertale characters as 90′s skater culture mixed with the meme culture of the 2010′s. All of the characters wear bright pastel colors and have various sayings, slang, and memes all over their attire. Papyrus is the only one unchanged, still wearing his Cool Dude attire. UnderFresh was created by LoverOfPiggies on Tumblr.

The Creator of UnderFresh, LoverOfPiggies, has had Fresh!Sans pop up in most of her UnderTale related works. Revealed during a few panels of Ask Error, a Sans, flipping in and out of a "Fresh" state, talks about a depressing topic. It is implied [that] UnderFresh is not only an AU, but an infectious AU, capable of taking over other AUs. For every AU, there is a Fresh version.

According to LoverOfPiggies, UnderFresh is not technically an AU, as it only has one character, Sans. He is actually a parasite with no home that takes the form of a Sans, who is incapable of feeling emotions. According to the MommaCQ comic on Tumbler, Fresh got his sunglasses at the mall with his brothers Error and Geno, and Error's new friend, Ink. Fresh was a well-structured character, but the fandom wouldn't listen and thus turned a great character into a monstrosity.”

that last part’s kinda funny ngl-

so tl:dr: errortale is just ask error sans; inktale doesn’t exist; and underfresh kinda exists but it only has fresh!sans.

so yeah.

[koteosa]

here’s some modern au headcanons for the arcana ... it’s something I think about a lot

Asra

gamer memeing shitlord . he majored in minecraft you cannot convince me otherwise

plays A Lot of minecraft but also just enjoys any similar sort of game, sdv, animal crossing, etc. He’s really good at video games but he’s just fucking around . he likes to play online games and try his best to make everyone hate him in a really harmless sort of way . he heals the enemy spy . changes his display name and avatar to be exactly the same as someone else . tells people to go into the console and type unbindall

he plays games with his friends and he’s usually the top player so he just spends his time spoiling the shit out of his friends giving them good items carrying them through dungeons etc but not Julian, he tells Julian to dig straight down in minecraft . Julian doesn’t ever know what he’s doing in any video game so Asra trains him wrong on purpose, as a joke

anyway enough about video games (for now)

Asra lives in a van that he painted the exterior of himself, it was both a fun project and a very smug way to annoy people with this awful fucking hippie van strolling into town, eat shit

it’s decorated with crystals, furs, fairy lights, mason jars full of food For The Aesthetic, books, etc. It’s very cozy, cottagecore / bohemian and it’s ridiculously obvious that he’s into witchcraft. he just lets Faust explore because this isn’t real and I can pretend that a snake is exactly as well behaved as in a fantasy story

basically homeless by choice

drugs tw but I see him as the type to want to try anything and everything at least once so if he’s ever been offered A Drug (and he crashes parties for fun and for free food, so he’s got opportunities) he’ll try it Just To See, and this has resulted in some bad trips before, but Muriel saw him in the middle of one and then after he sobered up Muriel put his foot down and made Asra agree to only do these things as responsibly as possible, like, with supervision from a friend

still drugs tw but I also see Asra as a stoner but in the cbd edibles sort of way, a lot of this is because I headcanon Asra as having ADD (because I do and I want to project a little bit) so it helps him focus but also he just Likes It. the glove box of his car has like, chocolate/lollipop edibles stuff like that

goes between like super healthy elaborate meals with mushrooms and veggies and fresh meat and shit and then just eating nothing but cheez-its all day

style wise I see him as the type to wear a lot of tank tops, like, the loosest of tank tops so it hangs super low and long and you get some nice cleavage out of it, crystal necklaces, gold jewelry, pride pins/jewelry/etc (trans/nonbinary/bisexual flags), oversized hoodies with loud colorful patterns, joggers and other loose comfy pants, and either boots or slippers

he’s got like... the at home look that’s basically what I just described, and then the away from home look that’s got thirty layers and none of it makes sense and he just shows up in orange crocs With Patterned Socks and everyone who sees him just lets out the heaviest sigh

Asra getting home be like (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a layer of clothes) (takes off a l

He likes to go on long road trips completely at random and saves up money to go on more extensive trips like, out of the continent. It can be really hard to place him at any given time, especially because he’s extremely slow to respond to texts for a whole multitude of reasons. He just fucking vanishes sometimes and he doesn’t get that maybe people want to know where he is. He’s too solitary

He makes money either via street performances (magic, tarot readings, etc) or selling shit on etsy like handmade tarot decks, crystal necklaces, magic charms, etc. He Has Never Worked A Day In His Life and He Will Not Start Now

Responsibility? Don’t know her

People ask him really obnoxious questions sometimes and he makes outlandish lies to tell them for fun . Why do you live in a van? A house killed my parents

In the fall/winter he lives with Muriel or more to the point, he crashes on his couch for a really long time and Muriel’s landlord doesn’t need to know about it for rent purposes

Julian

he’s a highly paid doctor and your mother would love it if you’d marry him if not for the fact that he looks like he never left his teenage emo phase

PIERCINGS

There’s DEFINITELY at least one piercing on his d

he lives with Portia and Mazelinka and tries to handle all their expenses but Mazelinka won’t fucking let him

soundproofed his room but not because he’s a youtuber or anything but because he uh. y’know what I’m gonna let y’all figure this one out on your own

goes to like............. lgbt friendly bdsm clubs every now and then looking for someone to step on him and call him garbage it’s for his mental health you don’t understand

black turtlenecks . silver jewelry . distinguished but Edgy as well, black boots, winklepickers, doc martens, ohmygod this is my SHIT I’m giving him red plaid pants and a reversed cross necklace and a leather jacket that says some radical shit on the back and Lots of Rings . black jeans with tears in the knees and black eyeshadow, demonia boots, leather gloves, hhhhhhOHmy GOD

catch him at home in black leggings and a my chemical romance tshirt with holes in it . he wakes up in the morning with yesterday’s makeup and he just cleans it up a little and that’s good enough

fairly small bedroom because he’s usually never at home, but it’s still pretty clear what he’s into even if it’s not super decorated or elaborate, kind of just Default Room but with his stuff arranged throughout . band posters, black furniture, a bed that looks like a depressed vampire sleeps in it, a bookshelf but most of the books are scattered around his desk, bed, and the floor. there’s a taxidermy skull on display somewhere because it’s just so dramatic you gotta love it

plays a black electric violin

extremely out of tune with pop culture he still listens to 70-00s music and he doesn’t know what a minecraft is or why Asra keeps yelling CREEPER when he comes into the room nor why Portia yells back AW MAN

I googled it and he qualifies as a millennial but I still see him as such a fucking old man who doesn’t know how to use electronics

despite being a doctor he’s so unhealthy . he eats nothing but depression meals (or just, nothing) unless someone forces him to sit down and eat an actual meal . No Julian whiskey does not count for your daily water intake

Malak probably happened because Julian wouldn’t stop feeding every black bird he saw just for the aesthetic and that was like 17 years ago but they still show up at his window expecting almonds or whatever the fuck . he changes houses but they’re too smart . you try to be a cool gothic thespian with a raven that will pose on your arm ONE time when you’re a teenager and they just never stop coming

sad lonely no friends hasn’t been laid in six years because he’s too busy and no longer remembers how to form meaningful relationships. Portia keeps being like so I met this really hot (insert gender here) and like idk I think they’re into goth dudes............... just saying...................... and he’s like am I really so pathetic that I’m going to let my baby sister set up blind dates for me? Yes

would drive something very goth like a hearse or some shit if not for the fact that his family would make sure he ends up in a coffin in the back of it if he drove up in that shit . please . buy a normal fucking car . Julian . oh my god

he starts quoting melodramatic poetry at the slightest inconvenience . he is that “All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread. My cat stole my fucking garlic bread” meme

been arrested multiple times for general rowdiness but also for political activism . at this point Portia/Mazelinka will just sigh and pay his bail and they don’t even ask what he did this time . how does he still have a job? I wish I knew

theater kid

Muriel

lives in a rundown apartment in the shitty part of town because it’s all he can afford, it’s quiet, and no one will try to visit him (except Asra) because no one wants to go to THAT part of town . but no harm will likely ever befall him because he’s 6′10 and like three million pounds of raw muscle with battle scars like you gonna fuck with that? really?

even if he got robbed it wouldn’t matter because A) he doesn’t own anything B) Inanna will chase the thief away

depression man staying in his quiet rundown dark apartment distracting himself with idle hobbies and taking care of his dog to prevent the encroaching ennui from tearing him a new asshole

changes jobs frequently both because he never stands out therefore never gets taken on full time after the part time trial period, AND to protect himself from the horror of being known

works mostly things like construction, auto repair, dog sitting/walking/etc, woodworking, mostly hard labor but if he can convince granny to let a very scary but completely harmless man look after her bichon frise for the weekend then he’s pretty happy about that

in a similar manner, he orders everything online so cashiers/etc won’t start to recognize him. delivery workers leave everything outside his door and he just drags it inside after they leave like an itazura kitty coin bank

goes camping a lot because staying cooped up in his apartment is super bad for his mental health and he doesn’t like to take walks through the city for a multitude of reasons. he takes Inanna on walks through the woods instead

Asra is his only friend and that’s fine (it’s not fine)

convinced therapy doesn’t work and he wants nothing to do with it

doesn’t like using electronics and only keeps a few things around his house so Asra can use them when he’s around . Muriel has a phone (that Asra got for him) so he can text Asra, check the time, check the weather, google questions, and like, nothing else

pretty much only happy when something is about dogs. he wants to go to the pet store and look at the dogs but he needs Asra to go with him so Asra can distract the workers and Muriel can look at the puppies in peace

dresses in blacks, grays, greens, and browns for the most part, jacket with the hood up, tank tops, dark jeans with tears in them, brown boots with mud stains on them . functional, not particularly stylish, and if he’s going to be in public he doesn’t want to make it easy for anyone to see his face. at home it’s mostly no shirt + sweatpants/joggers/etc. doesn’t accessorize or put in any real effort. he doesn’t care what he looks like (because he’s convinced he’s not much to look at anyway)

lives that super eco friendly life like Asra does but it’s more that he just feels comfortable living like he’s always on a camping trip

he doesn’t want to eat junk like Asra does but if Asra shows up with mcdonalds then well he can’t really say no

the type who uses something until he absolutely cannot use it anymore instead of just buying a new one

has never been to a doctor, dentist, etc Ever. the most he can do is take Inanna to the vet because he loves her so much

drives a very old pickup truck with like, chipped paint and mud stains. he’d take better care of it if only anything in life mattered

didn’t go to school

Portia

I like to think that she took on a groundskeeping job at Nadia’s very expensive large house and they fell in love and now Nadia pays for everything and Portia just spends her time gardening, playing with Pepi, and like idk running a vlogging/gaming youtube channel

200 videos of Pepi on her youtube channel with 4 million views each bare minimum . takes random videos of cats where she has to audio edit it to shit so you can’t hear her high pitched squeals of delight

minecraft let’s play part 30 where her, Asra, Nadia, and Julian play together and it’s extremely chaotic because Asra and Portia decide to gang up on Julian who does NOT know what he’s doing, and then Nadia surprises them all by not being the bigger person and instead tricking Julian into some elaborate trap where he steps on a trapdoor and falls 15 blocks into some lava and he looks up and all he sees is Nadia’s smug fucking avatar looking down at him

nightcore. it’s just not FAST enough

wears sweaters with cats on them. generally dresses in warm colors + brown/green, it’s like a very soft cozy look that you could go camping in or just generally be outside and get grass stains and whatnot. cute, functional

likes to make Julian do things for her like drive her places etc because like, he will. he always will

really likes social gatherings with her friends; sleepovers, beach trips, sitting at mcdonalds and pouring all their fries into a pile etc. tries to get Julian to go with her but he’s Just So BUSY. she makes fun of him and makes him drive her to it, then manages to convince him to stay

cottagecore aesthetic . she just thinks it’s so cute to have the little mason jars and decorate everything with leaves and flowers and BEES and whatnot . would love to live in a little cottage with a farm if she could

her room has a big cat tree in it . green wallpaper with yellow flowers. pressed flowers into books, an extremely cozy bed, fairy lights, it’s very farmy but also there’s a lot of electronics. she’s got a lot of 00s games, like, right in that ps2 sweet spot

nicknames all of her pokemon

she spoils the ever loving shit out of Pepi. She’s got a little cat harness and they go on walks through the park together

I don’t have a lot to say about the other two I Am Sorry

[whattaloser]

Why I’m a Leftist

I know I’m probably just some dude who reblogs cool stuff to most of my followers but I’ve got a nice long story/rant about my political beliefs here that I’ve been wanting to write for awhile

I am a leftist first and foremost because I value human life. Everyone matters. No person is inherently more important than another person. Everyone has inherent rights that should not be infringed. People who infringe on other’s rights are morally wrong to do so. In essence my leftism is based on doing what is right. Obviously everyone has their own opinion on what is right but what is vitally important is knowing why your moral code is right. This is why so many people become liberals or conservatives or otherwise rather than leftists. They simply do not know enough about how the world works. There are a lot of reasons they don’t know, not the least of which is intentional covering up history and preventing education. I don’t believe people who aren’t leftists are stupid, but I do believe leftists know more. It’s kinda fucked up but it’s the only way you can explain inconsistencies in other’s values.

My path to leftism was full of cringe. When i was 7 years old Al Gore was running against George Bush for president. I did not know enough to have a real opinion on it but I am happy to say that I wanted Al Gore to win. This thought was based on very little if any logical reason. I basically flipped a coin in my head I think. Or maybe there was some outside influence that I wasn’t aware of, like my older sister who I looked up to might have said she liked Al gore. Either way, from then on I was in favor of democrats and did not like George Bush. When 9/11 happened I remembered thinking how dumb it was that people lined up around the block to get gas. Even as a child I knew that some buildings going down wasn’t going to end the great nation of the United States. In general I thought the United States was a great country. I knew from movies and tv as well as elementary school history that the United States was the most powerful country in the world. 

I recall in Sixth grade my teacher mentioned she liked George Bush because he was against gay marriage. Somehow at the time my opinion was the opposite despite being raised Catholic. I believed in god until I graduated high school and suddenly my desire to be religious slipped away and so did my belief. I do not consider this a great loss. 

Sometime in middle school or early high school I had solidified my opinion that the war in Iraq and Afghanistan was pointless and George Bush was a bad president. I was heavily influenced by movies and somewhat by video games that had imparted plenty of anti-war messages. Talks with my dad about nuclear missiles, watching History channel shows about world war 2, and playing Metal Gear Solid which had explicit nuclear disarmament messages, all informed me on the horrors of war. This was not enough to make me totally anti-military. In high school I wanted to join the military because I thought it was an easy way to get life experience and eventually pay for college. I was attracted to the Marines because of how cool movies like The Rock and video games like Call of Duty made it seem to be a Marine. I thought they were the best of the best. I was simultaneously against war, against veteran worship, and very pro-military. I was indoctrinated by years of government propaganda but also disillusioned by all forms of media including the book All Quiet on the Western Front which was about a soldier becoming disillusioned by witnessing horrors of war and the negative impact it had on everyone in his country. I spoke with a recruiter during my senior year and expressed my desire to be a Marine but I told him I wanted to wait a year after high school so I could get physically fit enough. The recruiter did not care that I was underweight and out of shape. He didn’t even care that I was very enthusiastic about joining, he was still putting on his best salesman demeanor which made me incredibly uneasy. The experience is supposed to pressure people into signing up on the spot, I think they even had forms for me to sign (i can’t really remember though) but I was not ready and was aware enough how I was being manipulated although not entirely cognizant. After that I no longer wanted to be in the military.

I also have to point out that I grew up in an unstable household. My parents were both loving but they were flawed and made mistakes and had problems. My dad was a typical Gen x man’s man. A little bit too emotionally repressed, but actually really good with kids when it came to play time and still is. He worked a lot because my mother couldn’t. My mother has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder as long as I can remember. Her medical bills related to her problems combined with other financially bad decisions by my parents caused my home life to be fraught. I lived in varying degrees of poverty until my parents separated and me and my siblings moved with my mother to her parents’ house away from my father. Prior to moving though, we endured great financial difficulty. We were unable to afford school lunches but could not apply for free or reduced lunches because technically my father made a lot of money, however it was all garnished for medical bills. My father always tells about how he bought a car that had hidden frame damage and when he attempted to sue the dealership for selling a bad car he lost and was garnished for that as well. Despite making over 25 dollars an hour in 1999, my father could not afford school lunches for three kids and couldn’t afford to pay the gas bill. Without going into too much more detail, life sucked and continued to suck until I graduated, at least financially. I still found plenty of joy and it wasn’t always that bad. We still found ways to have good things like video games and we could always rewatch old movies but there’s a lot of psychic weight that comes with being that poor as a child and I’m sure it affects me and my ability to empathize with others who in bad conditions. 

So i watched a lot of movies and documentaries, read a lot of books growing up, discovered internet forums at the age of 11, played video games, moved to a town that had a very large Hispanic population, and I even grew up poor. All of this life experience turned me into a very average liberal upon graduating high school. I was a very optimistic 18 year old. I thought science could save the world. If I was 18 today I would be an average redditor stereotype probably. The point here though is I still wasn’t a leftist. Only vaguely progressive and full of optimism. This is when I got sucked into the anti-feminist pipeline.

I can’t remember what exactly what I had going on in my life but I remember it was around the time of Gamergate. Everyone on the internet, celebrities, and pop culture were saying “if you believe in equality between genders you’re a feminist” an did not like that. And there was a ton of people online to tell me I was right in not liking that. They all said feminism was not necessary anymore because legally you couldn’t discriminate against women and I agreed. Gamergate made it worse for reasons too complicated to get into in this already long post but suffice it say I was “pro Gamergate.” This put me at odds with my closes friends who thought feminism was great and had no qualms with it, and were already embracing the idea of being a “social justice warrior.” Despite reading all kinds of anti-feminist think pieces and reveling in the discourse, I was still very progressive and liberal minded person. Still thought the military was bad, that black people were discriminated against etc. But so many aspects of anti-feminism were appealing to me as a white guy who tried their hardest to do what they’re told is right, had low self esteem, undiagnosed adhd and depression, and a fundamental misunderstanding of what feminism was. Two things got me out of anti-feminism though. The first and most important thing was having friends who were patient with me about it. I didn’t reveal how into anti-feminism I was because I was ashamed but they could sense it and pushed back when they could. The second thing that got me out of it was actually finding feminists online and reading what they had to say, staying away from poorly written clickbait articles that fueled misogynist tirades against feminism. After reading and learning from feminists it finally clicked. Our society is patriarchal and that affects how people interact with each other regardless of what is legal. Many of the complaints of anti-feminism talk about how men have it in society, so how can society be patriarchal. It’s because of patriarchy that men are put in bad positions. Some of the more self aware anti-feminists had retorts against these ideas but they were emotionally charged. There’s still some anti-feminists I have respect for because of how well prepared and logical they were when it came to disputing feminism. But when it came down to the fundamental tenants of feminsim all they could respond with was anger or outright denial of reality. (If you’re like I was and don’t understand how anyone can thing modern feminism is good please feel free to ask me more, I just can’t get into specifics in this long ass post) Anyways, once you understand patriarchy and how it affects an individuals actions then you can start seeing how other institutions and cultural norms can affect an individual. This is basically fundamentals of leftism. I’d say about 90% of my path to leftism was just naturally absorbing cultural and historical information through consumption of media. The most conservative people I know are people who haven’t read very many books or seen very many movies. I’m not saying watching Austin Powers at the age of 10 will make everyone a leftist but constantly recontextualizing the world by learning something new, even if you learned it from some dumb comedy movie, can give you better grounding in a shared reality.  Don’t know how to end this but I want to say when I was a teenager I thought “communism is good in theory but it doesn’t work in practice” and I had almost no historical basis for it other than the vague notion that USSR = bad despite having consumed a massive amount of media. None of it taught me what communism actually was, I didn’t know who Karl Marx was, and I had no clue why communism in the USSR failed. You can know a lot without knowing the truth so if you’re struggling with a loved one who is mind poisoned by conservative keep in mind that they know a lot but they’re missing something important to give clarity. 

This has been my Ted Talk

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: The Moonchild

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

I feel like this one was inevitable. As soon as I decided to bust open the doors on literary mediums like books and comics, this guy was always going to loom over me. Well, let’s just bite the bullet and talk about him. 

In the final portion of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Centuries, we are introduced to Oliver Haddo’s ultimate creation… a creation he is incredibly disappointed in. You see, the Antichrist or Moonchild is a whiny, miserable young adult strung out on prescription drugs because he went mad after realizing what he was being manipulated into. He is the subject of derision by all who know him, and is treated like a punching bag by most of the narrative, up to and including God literally telling him he’s a bitch. Our villain here is just a miserable, whiny, kind of misogynistic brat who doesn’t even want to be a villain, and in general is just unpleasant and ineffective save for a school massacre he pulls off.

Oh yeah, and his real name is Harry Potter. Kind of an important detail, that.

Motivation/Goals: So as the antichrist, you’d think Mr. Potter might, you know, maybe want to bring about the end of days and all that. But no! He actually pops pills and isolates himself in Grimmauld Place so that he doesn’t do that! He doesn’t want to be the Antichrist and, really, who would? Most of his screentime is thus spent whining, until he ultimately decides to embrace being the Antichrist because he feels  he has no other choice. We’ll get into all of that in a bit, but honestly, his motivation is extremely weak despite the incredibly graphic setup we’re given to his downward spiral: when he first discovered he was being manipulated by Satanists, he went on a magical school shooting, shown to us in a first-person perspective to emulate the games that were often blamed for real school shootings. We get to see Harry slaughter Ron, Hermione, Snape, Dumbledore, and so on, we get to see what he did to Hogsmeade and the Hogwarts Express, and absolutely none of it is pleasant. 

With setup like that you’d expect maybe a little more intrigue and indecision, maybe some sort of conflict between fate and choice or something beyond Harry sitting around half-naked, high off of antidepressants, being a whiny little bitch, but you might be giving the dude who wrote a porno where the kids from Peter Pan engage in underage incest a bit too much credit. 

Final Fate: So Harry has gone absolutely bonkers and it seems that nothing can possibly stop him; our heroes seem to be written into a corner. So what does Moore do? He has God - who in this universe is Mary Poppins - descend from the heavens and have her say how she protects the imaginations of children and how she just straight up hates Harry. Never mind that Harry is quite literally an abused child who was twisted by the cruel machinations of a body surfing wizard, apparently he’s a child not worth protecting or caring about and is unworthy of sympathy. Anyway, Mary Poppins just turns him into a chalk drawing and that’s the end of that. 

Great writing, Alan Moore, critically acclaimed creator of Watchmen!

Best Scene: Saying Harry here had a ‘best scene’ is seriously pushing it, because literally every moment he’s on the page the comic just beats you over the head with Moore’s biases. I wish I could put the school shooting sequence, because the idea behind it is legitimately intriguing, but the whole sequence is just interwoven with Moore whacking off his hateboner for the series. But on the subject of boners… well, I think there’s only one panel that can truly and adequately sum up this entire character and how much of a miserable failure he is. Those who have followed me for a long time knew this was coming, but for the rest of you, behold - Harry Potter Dick Lightning:

Final Thoughts & Score: Quite frankly, this is the worst thing Alan Moore has ever done.

I’m not even mad as a fan of Harry Potter; Moore was honestly ahead of his time in hating the franchise to this level. The issue I have is that he doesn’t really deconstruct or criticize in any meaningful way, he just is doing edgy “take that” stuff that you’d expect from a chump like Garth Ennis. Like, the concept here is incredibly solid and intriguing - this version of Harry has been groomed from birth by Satanists to become the Antichrist, with all of his adventures fabricated and all of his relationships manufactured to keep him under the illusion he is a hero to mankind. Upon discovering the truth, he snaps, massacres everyone at his school for their role in his manipulations, and went into exile to stave off the apocalypse, although he ultimately and bitterly accepts his role because he feels he was never given a choice… and he wasn’t! He’s an incredibly depressing and miserable deconstruction of the concept of “The Chosen One,” and yet the whole thing falls apart on multiple levels.

The first is that the Harry Potter franchise already deconstructs the concept of “The Chosen One;” the text goes out of its way to point out that Voldemort’s own actions are what is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by targeting someone with the will and drive to fight back against him. Harry’s not so much chosen by fate so much as forcibly chosen by an evil manipulator… and that’s basically what we have here, but with less substance. Moore doesn’t really comment on anything, instead leading into the second big issue - Harry’s whole role is to be a strawman punching bag villain so that Moore can complain about modern fantasy franchises. Moore seems to view Harry as the epitome of the lazy regurgitation of the same story over and over that modern blockbuster culture so often falls into… except that Harry Potter was an original product developed by one person and had no artificial longevity slapped onto the franchise in the form of unneeded sequels or spinoffs to extend the lifespan of the franchise at the time Moore wrote this. Throw in the fact Moore just in general seems extremely contemptuous of any post-70s pop culture in Centuries and how Harry is ultimately taken down by crusty old characters from older literature really just leads to Moore coming across as a grumpy old man who hates anything new, not helped by his tired criticisms of millennials and their perceived lack of culture. Maybe Moore would have had more of a point if he created this storyline today, but he didn’t. Thus, he has no point and he just looks like a miserable old fart.

Sure, you can argue that maybe Moore’s basic parody of the character by exaggerating his tendencies to their logical extreme and attacking elements of the plot that had been criticized to death by fans to begin with has its place, and perhaps you could even say that the take in the comic is just an extreme take on how Harry acted in the fifth book, what with the lashing out at his friends and his general feeling of a lack of control, and there is some merit to that, or there would be if Moore’s own unrepentant bias didn’t undermine everything. Look, you can hate Harry Potter, but then why slap it into your work? It’s supremely cringey when people insert characters they hate into fanfiction and just completely derail their characters so that they can treat them like garbage with the narrative, and is that not what Moore did here? Is League not just public domain fanfiction? There’s a reason why I coined “Harry Potter Dick Lightning” as a phrase used to showcase a moment where a fanwork’s contempt for a character becomes so extreme that it not only jumps the shark, it rockets over it into the upper atmosphere. Any criticisms or messages Moore is trying to convey is tarnished by his blatant, seething contempt for the character, and that gets in the way of good writing and good storytelling. Having two characters express pity at having to murder an abused child who was warped by Satanists into being a tool of the apocalypse does not make up for how the narrative constantly mocks, belittles, and treats him like garbage to the point he really can’t function as an effective villain that can be taken seriously.

All of this adds up to what I’d argue is the absolute worst villain in all of fiction, bar none. There is just not a single redeeming quality about the Antichrist as a character. None. Nothing. I cannot think of another villain that so completely fails on every single level as this one does. He doesn’t work as an antagonist because most of the bad things he does are offscreen and he doesn’t come into conflict with the heroes until the very end, and most of his screentime features him doing nothing of note. He doesn’t work as a critique, because he is acting as a criticism for things his character never really represented in the first place. He only really functions as the sort of garbage you’d see in My Immortal, where the characters you know and love are turned into evil jerks because the writer hates them - but he even fails at being that, because at least My Immortal is funny about it! 

I am going out on a limb and saying that there cannot possibly be a villain that so utterly fails at everything it sets out to be as hard as Harry does. I don’t even want to try and believe it. And so, without hesitation, I am giving Moore’s shallow Potter parody a 0/10. And I pray to Mary Poppins that this is the only one of those I ever dish out, because I really don’t want to imagine what could possibly be worse than Harry Potter Dick Lightning.

[happymetalgirl]

The 15 Worst Metal Albums of 2020

This list might have been shorter if not for my running into a few awful albums at the end of the year that I had been avoiding wisely up until that point. My morbid curiosity got the best of me, and what’s done is done. I’m paying the price for it by going back over the worst albums I heard all year. Let’s get this over with.

15. Ghøstkid - Ghøstkid

This was the debut solo album from the former singer of Eskimo Callboy, who had a pretty decent backing of hype heading into this release under the Ghøstkid moniker, but with the namesake frontman putting in no more than the standard performance on a bunch of poorly assembled tracks in an unappealing and dated poppy metalcore style, ultimately the eponymous album wound up disappointing me pretty substantially.

14. Powerman 5000 - The Noble Rot

Powerman 5000 are just such a low-rate band that even one of their more okay albums makes it here. While not as astoundingly, mind-numbingly basic as their worst material, The Noble Rot is still some of the most unevolved, underwritten, and forgettable electro rock and industrial metal I’ve heard from a big name artist. This is some eighth grade level songwriting here, and that’s a fuckin’ feat for a band that’s been around longer than any eighth grader has.

13. Corey Taylor - CMFT

There was a lot of hype around Corey Taylor finally coming out with a solo project, and it was pretty damn disappointing to hear a bunch of uninteresting classic rock too tacky for Stone Sour. CMFT focuses on the fun side that has made its creator such an enigmatic figurehead in the metal press, but its one-note approach does little more than highlight Corey Taylor’s songwriting deficiencies. I really could have seen this album turning out better too, with just some more time and care put into it, if a fun time of an album is what Taylor was going for. Unfortunately Taylor tried to make a party album and a grand ceremonial tribute to his greatness at the same time, and ego-petting and partying don’t really go hand in hand.

12. Evildead - United States of Anarchy

It has some good bones underneath it, but Evildead’s long overdue (if anyone was asking for it) third album wears out its welcome so quickly with some of the most adolescent thrash I’ve heard in a while. The band gets some good rhythms going and the vocals aren’t terrible either, fitting the older thrash style pretty well. But the band’s predictable formula tires out very quickly, and the political commentary of the lyrics is too cheesy and cringeworthy to ignore. It seems every year we get a handful of these kinds of albums that try to get into the simmering thrash revival with some ultra retro approach, and a good portion of those albums are from long-defunct bands who figure their primitive old-school approach might be a selling point despite their sounds often being even more juvenile against the backdrop of today’s metal landscape. So it’s not a huge surprise or anything to hear an album as ham-fisted and corny as United States of Anarchy; this year it just happened to be Evildead.

11. Five Finger Death Punch - F8

They may not always place highest in this list, but they always manage to make it here, and this was actually an improvement on the last album, not that that’s saying all that much. In fact, I’d say this is the only time in the band’s history that they actually shifted their trajectory upwards. But while the band’s ugly continual creative decay has been a hard thing to watch and made them the five finger punching bag of the metal world, there seems to be a large enough swath of mouthbreathing chuds who love their incoherent derivative shit and flock to their shows enough to put them in lucrative headlining slots and on top of the metal world. Goddamn that sure sounds a lot like someone else we all know doesn’t it. I’ve criticized them plenty in the past, and while indeed an improvement, F8 only mildly remedies the numerous problems with Five Finger Death Punch. Still septic to the system are the predictably formulaic and tiresome songwriting, the stale production, the corny butt rock choruses, the shitty bootlicking worldview that bleeds into Ivan Moody’s douchey and faux-deep lyrics, the contrived ballads and country-dabbling. Even with an improvement in the flow of the track listing and a few more bangers that somewhat hearken back to their first album, F8 is still an over-thought and overly calculated batch of Sirius XM fodder that’s trying to please everyone in some superficial way. I’ll grant that it seems as though the band realized they had been giving the more metal-immersed side of their fanbase that has been with them the longest smaller and smaller crumbs with each new album. I’m not gonna hold my breath for this being anything more than placating for the time being; I’m sure the next album will find the band back on whatever bullshit they feel (or their execs feel) they need to be on to pull enough streams from inattentive radio metal bros. I always end with the disclaimer that I still steadfastly stand by the band’s first two albums, and even American Capitalist to a degree, and that I totally acknowledge the immense potential for greatness this band could seemingly at any time decide to fulfill. Ivan Moody is a talented vocalist with a lot of star power and they really could have been the second coming of Pantera or singlehandedly ignited a new wave of American groove metal and metalcore or carried it on their own. But instead the band have followed the money on the path of least resistance to fast-track their way to the top of festival tickets, which I’m sure affords them quite enough luxury and comfort in life, more than most bands these days get, but it doesn’t exempt them from criticism, and unfortunately I think their legacy will show that they were a lowest common denominator kind of band at the end of the day when they could have been, again, like a second Pantera or something.

10. Anvil - Legal at Last

Another year, another album of Anvil unable to evolve past their prototypic thrash of their forty-year-old origins. Though as tacky as ever, Anvil actually also managed to make a mild improvement on their last album on the musical front at least. The songs are a little more energetic and easier to get through, if not for the lyricism though. Anvil lyrics are never anything beyond a fourth-grader’s poetry assignment for their English class, but some of the Facebook boomer lyrics here are fucking cringy dude. A quick look at the track listing will let you know exactly where you’re gonna find the juiciest cringe, but honestly, even as far as cringe goes it’s nothing comedically special and cringe culture in general is played out anyway. So do yourself a favor and just ignore Anvil the way they deserve to be ignored.

9. Halestorm - Reimagined

It feels a little harsh to place an EP here, especially for a band whose album back in 2018 was one of the best things I have heard to come out of hard rock in a long time. But these stripped back covers and revisions of songs from the band’s catalog just suck all the oomph out of them, perhaps making the case by contrast for the importance of the role the rest of the band behind the indeed charismatic powerhouse frontwoman Lzzy Hale play in making their sound what it is. It’s unlikely this points to any kind of new direction for them, so I’m not particularly worried about them running into this problem again. Plus, I don’t think Halestorm and Lzzy Hale are like fundamentally incompatible with more ballad-y rock music, this forced balladization of older songs just did not work, and it makes perfect sense as to why.

8. Gama Bomb - Sea Savage

The fact that this album is only number 8 on this list is just depressing for its reminder of just how much shittier it got this year. The fact that there are seven albums from this yet worse than Sea Savage, goddamn. With one exception, this was maybe the stupidest album I heard all year, at least in the thrash department it was. God this thing is a sugar high mess. I feel like a toddler on an entire bag of Halloween candy or an elementary schooler on a 2-liter of Mountain Dew sat at a computer to program a thrash album would’ve probably come up with something like this. The erratic operatic highs and dumbass lyrics, it all just embodies everything that ever made thrash look bad. It’s like that drunk guy at a party who’s hyper as shit and doing a bunch of crazy stunts for attention because he thinks it’ll make the people there like him more, but really he’s just embarrassing himself. Yeah, definitely the worst thrash metal album I heard all year, and one I wish I could unhear.

7. Amaranthe - Manifest

One of the albums I was avoiding but reviewed late out of my own weird sense of obligation that I wasn’t surprised to find only validated my reasons for avoiding it in the first place. The weird combo of dancy pop music and power metal isn’t as crazy of an idea as it might seem at first thought. In fact, that’s basically in part what Babymetal are doing, and actually getting better and better at. But Amaranthe get the worst of both worlds with Manifest, unsavory pop melodies and utterly generic symphonic metal to make for something I’m not at all surprised I was so repulsed by.

6. Trapt - Shadow Work

Yep, I listened to it. God, no wonder this band is flailing in irrelevance with aggressive MAGA nonsense being their only audible desperate plea for attention. The album, thank fuck, isn’t steeped in the same bitch boy tantrum that the band’s singer has engaged in all year to the point of getting his band’s Facebook page banned for hate speech, and the music isn’t like offensively poorly made or anything like that either. There’s clearly a conscious meeting of the baseline requirements for the type of music they make, but holy fuck it’s so damn flavorless and predictable. It’d be one thing if this was the trendy thing to be doing, but this diet hard rock for people who think Three Days Grace is too wild has been out of fashion for over a decade. And Trapt are just recycling the same dumb formula that overstayed it’s welcome in the early 2000’s. Yeah, I’m not surprised at all, but god, it’s the kind of thing that has to be apparent to the band themselves too unless they’re lacking of any and all self-awareness. Trapt have thrown themselves to the forefront of the online metal world’s discourse by being an annoying, toxic, and childish presence all year; the silver lining being the unity among metalheads in roasting their laughable posturing about their Pandora numbers and the juicy memes about their one hit “Headstrong” that rile the snowflake singer up without fail. And this shit album is just another reason to laugh at them and more fuel to roast their crybaby Trumper frontman with. Go back into your hole, Trapt. 3/10

5. Unleash the Archers - Abyss

I talked about it in my review, but there really is only one simple thing that sinks this album so low. And that is just how incredibly low-effort and lifeless it is with a genre that’s supposed to be so life-affirming. Power metal isn’t the most highly revered genre in metal, but that’s just for its cheesiness. I love it; when it’s at its best, it’s some of the most inspiring metal music out there and I genuinely wish there was a bigger demand across the board for it. But Unleash the Archers just sound so flat and unenthusiastic in this album, and, sorry, in power metal, unabashed enthusiasm is just nonnegotiable. The guitar parts are phoned in and lacking in imagination, and the vocals especially are so narrow-range, it’s all so antithetical to the ethos of power metal and it doesn’t make a strong case for itself. I’ll leave it there; this album is lazy and lifeless so I feel no need to waste any of my time and work on it.

4. Burzum - Thûlean Mysteries

Ol’ Varg must’ve needed a new wizard hat or camouflage pants or whatever goofy shit he’s been doing since retiring the Burzum name to focus on his racism and LARPing because I thought Burzum was supposed to be finished. I thought you were done with Burzum, Varg. Apparently not too done to not dump an hour and a half of embarrassingly half-baked ambient dungeon synth song fragments that sound, so many of them, quite obviously unfinished. Varg Vikernes has been a washed-up shell of the musical god the various weirdos who idolize him make him out to be for a long time now, and it has shown in the gradually degrading work he had put out after his release from prison. Yet after clearly not caring about creating music in any meaningful way for a long time, Varg drops this heap of shit in his fans’ laps. I suppose they deserve it, but I’m sure some of them are delusional enough to lap it up with a smile on their face while still believing their white nationalist idol to be a musical genius. Again, it’s entirely dull ambient music, not metal at all, but it deserves to be shit upon for its astounding laziness and purposelessness.

3. Asking Alexandria - Like a House on Fire

Doubling down on exactly the unflattering crossover of pop music with their significantly sanitized butt rock in their apparent quest for arena glory that started with their self-titled album back in 2017, Asking Alexandria’s bid for the big spotlight that Imagine Dragons occupies didn’t get any stronger this year with Like a House on Fire. After three or four years of aiming for this style, the band still aren’t even all that competent with the basics of fucking pop rock, which is pretty downright laughable. Honestly, for an album so high up here on my shit list, my feelings on it are more or less just that of unsurprised disappointment; as soon as I got a feel for what the band were doing with the album, I knew it was going to be a mess of predictable results. And lo and behold. This was just such a wholly inexcusably floppy paper towel of an album, and one more Asking Alexandria release I know I won’t be returning to ever again.

2. Hollywood Undead - New Empire, Vol. 2

Coming on at the last minute to get on the scoreboard, reliably, is Hollywood Undead. When I reviewed both volumes of this project earlier, I referred to them as “corporate Linkin Park”, and I stand by that 100%. This album especially showcases nothing but what an incoherent, vapid, clout-chasing act they are, with such a corny, focus-grouped sound that sounds like it was made in a lab by a bunch of out-of-touch boomers. God, they could’ve been safe too if they had left it with the more tolerable first volume back in January, but this follow-up sequel from just this month was exactly why I had avoided listening to the first installment in the first place. And I should’ve never played this second one either. The album opener, “Medicate”, is probably the worst song I sat through in my own volition this year, and the rest of the album doesn’t get much better. It’s nothing new for Hollywood Undead after I gave their 2017 album my award for least favorite album of that year: more unfitting interplay between machismo posturing Eminem-cosplay and the sappiest, wimpiest radio rock and pop choruses; more cringy tough-guy struggle bars; more forgettable-at-best instrumentals. Congrats again, Hollywood Undead, you made one of the worst albums of the year once again.

But even worse than Hollywood Undead is an album that I feel like is already so legendarily bad, that there is no other album that could’ve been sat here. It had to be this one.

1. Six Feet Under - Nightmares of the Decomposed

Shitty metal bands everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief any year Six Feet Under decide to put out new music because any album they release is just about bound to end up as everyone’s #1 worst album of the year, and boy is that guarantee becoming more and more airtight with each successive release. It’s truly astounding too how Six Feet Under manages to outdo themselves every time. I don’t even want to think about what could possibly come after Nightmares of the Decomposed; we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But for now, holy fermented shit, this thing is not just bad, it’s like the holy grail of terrible TERRIBLE albums and I don’t want to know what kind of apocalyptically despicable album Chris Barnes and company could possibly conjure to outdo this one. And make no mistake, it’s still Chris Barnes dragging this band down. I gave this album a 1/10 instead of a 0/10 because there was at least a sliver of salvageable instrumentation on it, as thin of a sliver as it was, a few halfway decent musical ideas of you squinted hard enough. The instrumentalists are checked out and clearly just participating for the paycheck, but I can’t even imagine what kind of professional instrumental performance could possibly overshadow the embarrassment that Chris Barnes put to tape in the studio here. Maybe that says it, because it honestly sounds utterly unprofessional. It’s baffling how this got through management and sound engineering to be released to the public because I don’t think I’ve ever even heard any amateur high school band’s vocalist sound this bad. Vocal ingenuity is generally something to be applauded in the metal world, and pioneers like Randy Blythe, Dani Filth, and Travis Ryan deserve all the praise they get for their innovation with dirty metal vocals, yet what Chris Barnes has “invented” here on Nightmares of the Decomposed to compensate for his continually-deteriorating vocals is just sad. The man simply cannot perform highs anymore, clearly, and the alternative is this fucking comical, cartoonish squealing that sounds more like a bratty toddler gargling their own snot than it does anything fitting for a death metal record, even a death metal record at stupid and cheesy as Nightmares of the Decomposed. Chris Barnes should be thankful that metal is not a sport and that there’s not nearly as much of an abundance of performance statistics to point to and analyze to see what kind of records are broken in a legendarily awful performance. I feel like if there were any kind of performance stats to pull up, this album would have to break some kinds of records. Like this is worse than that 7-1 Germany-Brazil World Cup game, this would be like if the Brazilian team all got unholy levels of blazed and repeatedly scored on themselves because they kept going the wrong way and kicking the ball into their own net, and then pissing their fucking shorts. Even in 7-1 defeat, Brazil had more dignity than Chris Barnes here. Six Feet Under and their label have to know they are a laughing stock and that people will listen to them at this point for the sheer entertainment value of how mind-blowingly awful they sound. It’s not an illegitimate marketing tactic, and it’s the only explanation I can come up with for how this passed inspection. If that’s their mission, to be a spectacle and instill cringe in death metal fans in a regular ritual of comically stupid performances across every successive album, they’re sure doing it, and I guess this baffling headache-trophy is their well-earned prize. Congratulations Six Feet Under, you did it again! Worst metal album of the year.

[xsecretblastsx]

i1x16 - All about my brother

Last week was so busy for me and my brain was so fried I didn’t think I could do this until today. I’m excited to though to reach this episode, only two more two go and S1 will be done. So here we go.

As usual recap under the cut.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

This one of my fave uniform looks of Blair. I don’t even know why, but it is.

I so love the Jenny vs Blair dynamic. Because even if I’m rooting for Blair I can’t help but admire Jenny here.

Chuck and Bart are at the Bachelor party in Montecarlo, and he still calls Serena to see how she is. Brother and sis in the making.

Hello Georgina, oh sorry Sarah. Having watched the series already this is a plot I can’t help but roll my eyes at

Jenny telling Eric that he has a crush on her, actually that whole since she reminded me a lot of Regina George when she was fake nice.

Asher was really bad a hiding his relationship, like the dude is kissing his boyfriend right next to the school where anyone could see them.

I wonder who was Mr Spitzer and why he couldn’t be seated near Serena at the wedding, I want to believe there’s a funny story behind it, and not because he’s a perv.

Sure, Jenny’s being a bitch to Dan, and for once he’s in the right, and yet I can’t feel bad for him. 

“Don’t go to France, I’ll be there for you” a throwaway line from Blair, and yet bits like this are what fueled the fandom scale towards Blair for so long, Blair’s drama is petty compared to Serena’s and yet... still to this day people still argue about this mostly against Serena. 

“You look stressed even for you” an acurate description of Dan Humphrey at any given time. And Serena’s so eager to have that in her life, poor girl.

Serena’s turning around while Blair’s describing Jenny as self obssesed, self serving, self centered is hilarious, but hey she knows what she’s talking about

The four G: guys, girlfriends and Gossip Girl.

“Now you know how Vanessa Hudgen feels”, that is so 2008. Worse thing is I remember it.

“Wasn’t me, wish it was”, so Blair.

“Is your brotherly duty to save her from becoming the next Katie Holmes” Seriously this episode is getting quite savage with the not so nice pop culture references, also I dind’t want to remember this.

Dan being like “I don’t want Jenny to get hurt” and Blair pointing out that he should have thought of that before telling all of Manhattann that she’s a  glorified hag is why Dan sucks so bad.

Rufu’s seeing Lily on that wedding dress 

Jenny having a rude awakening, and even though she hates it she still goes along with it. 

Again, he may be right, but thanks Jenny for telling Dan to stop judging everyone all the time.

Serena blowing up Blair, and for once this actually was important. Too bad she couldn’t know that.

I so wish Georgina had refered to Blair as Snow White more in the show. And I guess people loved it because I’ve seen it more than once on fanfic. Also Eric being like “Oh, snow not so white, did you hear that...” but in Eric’s favor that was juicy gossip. 

Now I feel bad for pointing it out earlie the same thing Georgina says here, that was so in plain sight, this was really mean though.

Eric calling Chuck after the fall out, and he sums it up pretty well, the guy may have flaws, but being a judgmental ass  is not one of them. 

One of my fave bits of S1 was all the heartfelt moments between Serena and Eric. 

Blair’s arrival at Jenny’s party: EPIC. “The most importants parties to attend are the onew you’re not invited to” girl is serving. Also one of her most underrated looks in Season one

Georgina, Vanessa, Serena and Dan sitting at a table, talk about akward, also  I don’t know how to interpret this because either: half of the table are sociopaths, or just roll my eyes becaue the writers totatlly forgot about this plot when writing the final season of this show. 

Penelope and Hazel bitching about how their first time’s were awful. Not cool.

I wish we had got a nice moment between Blair and Eric, because they did care about each other, and we got so little between them. Because these kids were family, dysfunctional one for sure, but family nonetheless.

I know Asher was a jerk, and this was a moment of empowerment for Eric, but outing people is never good. Like I get why Eric did it, and he’s also really young, but still. 

Seriously Blair look’s gorgeous this episode.

That scene with Lily and Eric brief as it was really made me emotional, it’s one Lily’s most honest  and realest moment as a mom.

 Jenny raising the white flag, this scene is my second fave scene between them,their power struggle may be over for now, but it was a ride. And I love how honest they get with each other.

So Dan can tell Serena what to do, what not do, talk about her friends, but the moment she tells him she has misgivings about someone, he’s like how dare you! why don’t you trust my judgment... and then list all the bad things she did, and just leaves. He’s the biggest hypocrite ever.

Seriously angry Scrabble? And the words are like... ugh. I just can’t with him.

This is one of my favorite moments of Blair and Serena because Blair’s words are such a perfect description of the bond between them.

That’s such an ending for an episode “I kill someone”

No Chuck or Nate this episode. 

So this episode... it was quite packed. It’s basically the set up for the finale of Season One, putting and end to the Blair vs Jenny storyline and leaving us with Georgina breaking havoc front and center, only to drop the bomb that Serena killed someone. On first watching I remember I was like what? and hitting next episode really fast. Now not so much because this episode was one of those were rewatching reallly felt diferent from the first time. It’s also the one so far were knowing how the show ends was really distracting

I remembered this episode mostly for being the final round of Blair vs Jenny and it being quite a thing to watch, feeling bad for Eric,loving his scenes with Lily and Serena, and that last scene between Serena and Blair. And unlike the episode of Jenny’s birthday, I didn’t enjoyed their struggle for power as much this second time around. Not because I hated or anything, in fact Blair arriving to that party was still epic, I guess it had a lot to do with the fact that this was my favorite Jenny storyline, back then I didn’t knew what to expect, and I was excited about seeing where her character goes next, and now I know, and I didn’t like it how it went in the end, and it was sad to see her so defeated here,because she is never happy, whenever she gets something she wants it turns out it doesn’t make her happy at all, and even knowing that, the way things go, the way she acts, make it hard to root for her.  

I still loved her last scene with Blair though, because it didn’t matter how much antagonism there was between them, they also still saw a bit of themselves in each other, they hate it but they admire each other, and it’s was make their relationship so interesting and why they have these moments of such honesty between them, and sure, here Blair was condecending and Jenny basically tells her that she destroyed her life just to be like Blair, as if being like her was not something good, so each of them believe she’s better than the other, and yet it ends on a really sad not because Jenny’s words “I don’t expect anything anymore” are actually really depressing for a 15 year old girl, and as soon as she turns back towards the elevator, Blair drops the smile, because she gets it. So like I said, a really good scene, and even though I may not be excited about Jenny’s storylines anymore, I’m excited about a certaing scene betweem them in S2. That’s my fave. You can probably guess which one it is.

The other main plot this episode was Georgina still breaking havoc on Serena’s life, this time by blackmailing her, and becoming friends with Dan and Vanessa. Now, I normally don’t like to think that much about future events, particularly how it all ends, because I like enjoying the episodes trying to yes get more insight on why things happened the way it did, and it’s easier to analyse the characters actions and motivations in the moment, rather than focusing in their whole character arc, but this episode I found it pretty impossible to do because, knowing Dan is Gossip Girl means he’s pretending the whole time in a more obvious way, playing it up next to Georgina who’s presented as manipulative, a tad crazy and evil, is hard not to notice how he’s basically the same, and at least Georgina was honest about her nature, Dan on the other hand is not, Penn and the whole internet has being pointing out since  “You” came out about how Penn’s character Joe, is Dan upgrading to murder, and this is where the comparison really cames to life.  It kind of creeps me out. 

Dan aslo makes me really angry, becausse to top it all he gets mad at Serena, for basically not trusting her judgement because he is the trustworthy one in this relationship and she is not, and he drives the point home by listing all the times she has lied to him, never mind that part of the reason she lies is beacause he’s a judgmental ass who has lowkey constantly drilled her with how he loves the good Serena, and this episode he’s even critical of her haning out with Chuck who is a) her soon to be step brother b) someone she’s been reluctant friends with since she was a kid, and he also is critical of her partying, so basically the things she did before she met him, and that’s wrong on itself, but having Dan Humphrey acting all high and mighty because he doesn’t lie to Serena, makes me angry because he being a hypocrite not capable of seeing his own mistakes, never asking for forgiveness is what I dislike the most about his character.

I’ll leave it here for today, because this carries on to the next episode, and because Dan’s gets even worse on the next ones, so I’ll know I’ll be ranting about him even more so, and I don’t want to repeat myself, at least not that much. I’ll end this by remembering that last scene between Blair and Serena, because it’s such a precious moments and the reason why no matter what happened between and how bad it got, they are sisters and love each other to pieces “We're sisters. You're my family. What is you is me. There's nothing that you could ever say to make me let go. I love you”

Random bit’s I’ve noticed:

Lily’s schedule was so full, between disscusing her prenup, a final fitting at Mark Ingram’s Atelier, a mani/pedi, a conference call about an article, an appoitment at Barney’s... oh the good life.

So this episode is where the “whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop” quote cames from. I’ve seen that one on a ton of edits, no one of my fave though.

Funny but if there was one character that really put into practice Blai’rs words about crashing parties it was Vanessa now that I think of it.

Shut up and let me go! I was so obssesed with that song back in 2008. Though when I think of the Ting Tings and Gossip Girl, I have a different song in mind. 

[lydiaandarry]

{The Murder of Alternative Character Design}

Hello there!

    My name is Arabella, but you can call me Arry if easier. You may be looking at the title and feeling a bit confused by it. “The Murder of Alternative Character Design” may be quite a confusing title and leave others wondering what the hell it even means. But that is why I am here to spread awareness about this horrible phenomenon that is going on in recent pop culture. Especially with superheroes. ‘Alternative Character Design’ to me is when a character (usually a superhero) looks different from the traditional standard of the type of character they represent. I can name quite a couple of alternatively dressed superheroes who get made into more traditional wear or boring wear in their live-action debut. So let’s invade the topic!

(The poor costume design recently...)

    I don’t know if you have noticed but the quality of costume design and the importance of comic accuracy has lowered in demand. It seems now like live-action adaptations of a comic book character just throw whatever they can to seem “different” or “out there”. Yet it murders the costume design to begin with. Recently in “Birds of Prey”, one of my favorite DC female characters ‘Black Canary’ has had her main outfit leaked on set. And there are no fishnets to be seen or a bodysuit or anything that represents the character in the comics. I personally love Black Canary for that reason with how different she looks and how she isn’t afraid to wear leather, fishnets and reveal skin, things that could be seen as hooker-ish. She rocks and makes it look stylish and badass. Yet in Birds of Prey, it seems like they went for a more ‘preppy’ approach where nothing about her screams ‘Black Canary’ but perhaps the colors. Even then, black and yellow in DC and especially to non-comic book readers just screams Batman. Netflix recently released a show called “The Umbrella Academy” and I don’t really know much about the comics except that it was created by My Chemical Romance babe Gerard Way who I grew up listening to his music. Even after they broke up. It saddened me to see the complete difference from the comics to the actual live-action adaptation. The art is nearly killed with the inaccuracy as Allison Hargreeves doesn’t have her awesome purple-blue hair. Klaus didn't have his awesome skull shirt, ouija pendant necklace and signature bright orange hair. Diego’s long, blond hair is completely disregarded despite the lack of longer hair on dudes in superhero shows. All of this is disregarded for a more preppy, modern and “up to date” look that kills the character design that made the comics look so different in the first place. And it’s Gerard Way’s creation for crying out loud! He was part of an alternative group! They didn't look nearly as normal as the people in the show look. Even Klaus looks normal compared to how these people used to look. It’s changed for diversity and relatability to other characters but where’s my representation? Where’s my second personality’s representation? And this isn’t just on DC’s end. Marvel does this as well with my favorite X-Men character, Kurt Wagner, a.k.a Nightcrawler. Who seriously wore a Thriller jacket in X-Men Apocalypse. It was the worse outfit I have ever seen on Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler in the comics is basically Gothic. He wears dark clothes, looks kind of scary to the point where people fear him on a daily basis, and has hints of red here and there. The usage of color in Kurt’s design is usually creative and done justice. Now I could understand if they were going for a more X-Men Evolution Kurt but even then, the outfit was better and Kurt is rarely seen as blue in that outfit because when he is blue, it is shown to hardly work with being blue.The colors don’t go well with his skin. Also, his personality is a lot different to X-Men Apocalypse’s but we are talking about character design not writing. And can someone please show Legion FX how to dress punk people? Don’t say David Haller is punk when you hardly dress him as punk.

(Why is this an issue?)

     So, why is this an issue? You may ask me when reading this post. They’re characters, Arry. They aren’t always going to be comic-book accurate. Why are you so upset over all of this? As an artist, to me, character design and clothing choices is just as important as personality. Appearance is the first thing you see of anyone and it can say a lot. You express yourself through your appearance more than you think. When creating a character, I always make sure that I have the character design down pack. It’s my favorite thing to do. I am not against preppier clothing or modernizing things. I understand that this is something that has to be taken into consideration when taking a character and placing them in live-action. There are some things that are too difficult to carry over. But why make a live-action adaptation of something if you are not going to use the version that everyone who reads the comics is familiar with? What’s wrong with having abnormally colored hair? I get that diversity is a hot topic right now and it’s amazing that everyone is getting representation in one way or another. But diversity goes deeper than just skin tone. I have never seen a true alternative like character outside of cartoons that was done right. And I have tons of favorite goth girls in cartoons (Gwen & Crimson from Total Drama, Sam Manson from Danny Phantom, Mandy from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Triana Orpheus from Venture Bros, Jinx & Raven from Teen Titans, The Hex Girls from Scooby Doo, Rogue from X-Men Evolution, Joan of Arc from Clone High, Marceline from Adventure Time, Marie from Ed, Edd, and Eddy.) the list goes on. These aren’t characters you see in live-action though. These aren’t female characters that are even considered in live-action or even superheroes for that matter. And comic books are incredible for the reason that you don’t have to conform to normality. You can make any character you want. That’s why we have such unique characters in comic books and even in cartoons. Justice Friends has a colorful witch named Miss Spell and Valhallen is a metalhead. This is one of the many reasons why Neil Gaiman has been picky and harsh over making his Sandman comics into live-action because Sandman features so many subgenres of styles. Goth and punk, mostly. These characters aren’t represented in live-action adaptations. They are forgotten about or normalized. Kurt Wagner is a background character and they still couldn’t dress him how he is in the comics. The Umbrella Academy normalized its characters a lot in clothing choices. And it’s sad. There are people who dress like this and should be able to see themselves in at least one superhero. Kurt Wagner teaches us that not all goths are gloomy and depressed or dangerous. He’s a goth with a pure soul and good heart. Sandman comics make Death and Dream and Delirium seem normal, like they don’t have to change to be liked or good-hearted. They are who they are. The Umbrella Academy basically showed that you could wear abnormal costumes, have colored hair, have longer hair for a dude and still be an awesome superhero. X-Men has tons of abnormally colored hair characters that rarely make it onto the big screen, they are usually brought to small screen like Blink and Polaris in The Gifted. And in Legion FX, the most evil and villainous character is a punk. David Haller is not a good person on Legion nor can he be considered an anti-hero anymore. He is a despicable being with a god complex. Punks already get the bad rep of being dangerous, angry, and mean-spirited. Do we really need a character in mainstream media to be punk while also had killed multiple people and raped his girlfriend? That’s not progressive, that’s moving backwards. Superboy doesn’t even have his leather jacket, leather gloves and black circle sunglasses anymore with his undercut. He’s just narrowed down to a tee shirt and jeans most of the time.

(How can we change this issue?)

     I am not exactly sure. I know it seems kind of lame to like… bring up an issue and then not offer a solution. I feel like the best way to fix this problem is to hopefully notify costume designers that the world is in need of different styles. Their designs are not “out there” or “different”, as the comic book characters designs were already out there and they completely changed them. I am a huge judge when it comes to costume and character designs in live-action adaptations and I may make a post on why that is. I feel like we need to open our eyes to newer looks. To give some representation to those who dress differently from others. The issues that I brought up are already done and over with. Bad representation for punks as evil and villainous. The Umbrella Academy normalized every character, even Klaus. And hopefully Marvel can give us the Nightcrawler that we deserve as Fox no longer has the rights. All we can do is hope that this comic inaccuracy is a pasting phase and that creators will soon give the outcasts a voice and a chance for better representation. To stop being the villains or bad guys.

     This was a short rant that I felt had to be done and I had to explain some issues. I hope you enjoyed my post and agree with some points that I made. If you have any questions on the matter, feel free to message me. If you like this post and want to see more like this, feel free to follow our Tumblr! And if you liked the post, feel free to reblog and like. I post every Wednesday and Saturday! I will see you on Wednesday. Peace out!

[starburstonlayaway]

for @elizabroadwaytrash and i

Current word count :

40,813

Basic summary:

Tyler and Ethan’s family goes through a lot of changes following their marriage. They lose people, take others in, and new journeys are ventured on every day, no matter how scary or exciting.

Title? WIP? Alternate titles?

“Leave a Message.”

Yes, it is a work-in-progress.

I don’t believe we had any alternative titles, and if we did, I do not recall them.

Favorite character and how they are introduced:

Tyler. He’s introduced at the beginning of the first chapter, seen before anyone else.

Favorite ship:

Rose/Victor! I haven’t gotten to writing their relationship and build-up, but from our plans and how we’ve designed Victor’s character to be, I’m excited.

MC’s biggest mistake:

Rose is probably more of an MC than the others, despite it being a Tyler/Ethan fanfic.

Her biggest mistake was probably refusing to give up on Carter. While he was her boyfriend, his actions toward her (and later, Jazzy) were unacceptable after she came out to him. She isn’t to blame at all, but it’s definitely the thing she regrets most.

Inspiration:

A webcomic on Webtoon called “Always Human.” The comic explores the events happening to the girls Sunati and Austen throughout the course of their relationship. Beautiful art, realistic problems (despite being set in a futuristic utopian society), representation, and well-written romance. I wanted to incorporate these factors into LaM to make it similar to a story I enjoyed very much that left an influence on me.

Underrated character appreciation:

Jazzy! Rose’s best friend. Even in the separate story where she’s one of the main set of characters, she’s still very overlooked. She’s very upbeat and friendly, with lots of knowledge on wlw pop culture and history!

A few favorite dialogues:

“I’m ready, but we’re not in a rush or anything.” “Of course we’re in a rush, you slut! The sooner you guys get married, the sooner you have kids, and the sooner I’m an uncle!“ “Aren’t you occupied enough as it is? If you’re so involved in the idea of having a family, then why haven’t you and Jack had any kids of your own yet?“ “Don’t roast us like this.”

(spoken angrily) “Hey, Mister, that’s my soup!”

“That’s Amy! She’s probably Chica and Henry’s favorite out of all of us, but WE SHOULD REALLY SHARE CUSTODY OF HENRY.”

“Uh, I like to read, mostly, but watching older cartoons is also fun.” “Ooh. What cartoons do you like?” “My current favorite is Adventure Time!” “Adventure Time is considered an older cartoon now?” “Guess so.” “Damn, we’re getting old.” “We’re already old, dude.” “Thanks I feel worse.”

“What kind of cancer is it again?” “Leukemia.” “The survival chances of that aren’t terrible.” “Wow. Thanks.”

“You punched Jazzy?! You fucking punched Jazzy?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why would you punch someone for standing up to you when you were the one being a dick?!” “She wouldn’t get out of my face—” “I don’t wanna hear that bullshit! Carter, you can hurt me all you fucking want and I won’t care, but you’ve crossed the fucking line. Jazzy is the only person that’s been nice to me all year. She’s supported me and loved me no matter what, something you never fucking did!” “What the hell are you—” “We’re done, Carter! I never want to see your ugly transphobic douchebag ass again!”

MC moodboard:

N/A

MC’s fondest memory:

Probably when she was adopted. It was the most exciting day of her life, and lead down a journey of self-discovery.

In close second is the day she became friends with Jazzy. She was there for her when she needed her most.

Songs that remind of LaM or the characters:

“What About Us” by P!nk, probably definitely because it’s the song I used for Tyler and Ethan’s first dance.

“Leave a Message” by gnash, the song I named the book after! This one doesn’t need much of an explanation.

“Party Tattoos” by dodie. I plan to use this song in the closing chapter, sung by Rose.

Enjoy torturing the characters?

Not really, but I do it anyway. Good for character development, which there’s a lot of. But I don’t enjoy it, no. I love the characters in this book like my cat and dogs: with all my heart.

MC’s biggest fear:

Being unaccepted. This fear makes itself evident after what happens with Carter. Her mother’s reaction enforces this more.

Goals:

To finish LaM by the end of sophomore year, editing and all.

To be proud of the finished product.

To use this book as a reminder that I can do it. I can write.

Characters’ secret talents:

Ethan, despite not playing for many, many years, still excels at playing the ukulele. This becomes not so much of a secret later on in the book.

Rose is surprisingly good at tic-tac-toe. Not necessarily a talent, but definitely something she’d want you to note.

Turned into a media? Cast?

Seeing as LaM is a piece of fanwork, I don’t believe I would turn it into a media.

If it was to be a media, however, along with Tyler Scheid and Ethan Nestor to play Tyler and Ethan, as well as Mark Fischbach, Amy Nelson, and Kathryn Knutsen to play their friends, a few choices I would make would be to cast Janet Mock as adult Rose Scheid and Elliot Fletcher as adult Adrian Garcia.

MC’s basic morals and general beliefs:

Rose’s number one moral is to never make someone feel shut out. Having been rejected (as well as accepted) many times in her life, she knows that she never wants anyone to feel like that, and makes an effort to be the reason.

How MC found out the tooth fairy doesn’t exist:

She never really believed in it, to begin with.

Best name:

Jasmine “Jazzy” Hinojosa-Mills.

Least favorite OC:

Carter. Abusive transphobic asshat that left Rose with lots of insecurities and trauma for years to come.

Snippet:

Mark really had gone all out with making the altar just like Tyler had wanted it to look. The arch was made out of ebony wood that had been painted white with golden accents. Flowery vines were twirled all around the wood, the flowers colors of black, grey, purple, and blue. The chairs surrounding the aisle were all made of the same wood as the arch, the cushions blue and grey. Both Ethan and Tyler’s family alike filled those chairs, chattering away with one another. Tyler quickly scanned the side filled with Ethan’s relatives, and wasn’t surprised to see Ethan’s aunt and uncle were not present. He hoped to god that Ethan wouldn’t notice. The guests quieted down and turned their heads to look at Tyler, and he felt put on the spot. Most of the guests smiled at him, others clapped quietly. He could see that two people in particular were both smiling and clapping. Seeing Jack and Kathryn so supportive of him was majorly comforting to Tyler. He exhaled, and glanced at Mark behind him. Mark was already smiling, and nudged his head towards the arch. Tyler walked down the aisle and received praise from just about everyone sat in chairs. He high-fived Jack on his way to his place next to the officiant. The lady smiled at him, and he returned the gesture. She opened her book as Mark took his place next to Tyler, gazing over his friend’s tux and wiping off some dust quickly. Mark gave Tyler a thumbs-up, and Tyler couldn’t stop smiling. Now that he was actually out in front of the guests and standing where he was meant to be, his nerves relaxed. In fact, every thought he’d ever had in doubt of this marriage before that moment vanished, as soon as Ethan walked out.

WIP representation:

LGBT

Tyler/Ethan

Rose is trans

Jazzy is pansexual with two moms

Adrian is trans with two moms

Marcus has two dads

POC

Rose and her mother are black

Adrian and his mama are Mexican

Disabilities

Marcus has leukemia (cancer of the white blood cells)

Standalone or part of a series?

Standalone. Although I suppose you could call it a spinoff of one of our other works, the reader does not need to read that series to understand this story.

Biggest character development:

Definitely Rose. Seeing as the story follows the changes through most of her life, there’s a big difference in her character comparing the first chapter she is introduced to the closing chapter, where she takes center stage.

People who know of the WIP:

My co-writer, Caroline. Though I’ve done most of the writing, Caroline and I brought the idea for this story to life together, creating a unique cast of characters such as Jazzy, Rose, Adrian, Marcus, their families, Victor, Rose’s mother Aaliyah, and Ethan’s uncle Zane. Without her, the story would not have been written in the first place.

The lovely readers on AO3. I’ve uploaded chapters of the WIP onto there, updating at least once a month. It feels good to be putting some of my work out there for other people instead of just keeping such a joy all to myself. Of course, this is just a personal opinion.

Characters’ annoying habits:

Jazzy’s very short-tempered. Make one wrong move, anyone could get shouted at, lectured, maybe even a blow to the face.

Marcus feels a lot of self-pity and spite. He wishes his parents wouldn’t baby him so much just because he has cancer. This, later on, leads to him participating in multiple illegal activities to antagonize them.

Adrian grows to be more selfish as he gets older, even going out of his way to go into the military and disappear from Rose’s life out of the blue one day without telling her. He later regrets this.

Rose has plenty of autophobia to go around. After her mother gave her up to the orphanage at a young age and Carter’s abuse towards her in her late middle school years, followed by Adrian’s sudden leave after high school, she always fears being alone or abandoned by the people she cares about.

Tyler and Ethan both never seem to recover from the grief of their first child’s loss. This makes them closed off to people who ask about the incident, and could sometimes bring them back to their depressive state.

Very last three lines (with context):

“Unsure was she on how to approach this. She’d felt it since that first night she met him, but it’d grown more and more out of hand since. They’d also became closer as friends, even now sometimes hanging out without the needed assistance of Marcus and Jazzy by their sides to ease the tension.”

Context: Rose had just come to the conclusion she had a crush on Adrian.

Characters: Based off IRL people(through looks, personality, or habits)?

Tyler, Ethan, Amy, Kathryn, Mark, Jack, Chica, Henry, and all of the parents in the story are based off IRL influencers. The characters have only been switched and changed a bit, as well as the relationships, of course, to fit the story.

Impossible friendship:

Carter and Jazzy. Don’t really need to explain it if you’ve read the work. They hate each other’s guts more than anyone, and they could never kiss and make up. As characters, they aren’t the types to do that at all, especially with each other.

Am I proud?

Yes. Leave a Message has been my most dedicated piece of work so far, and I’d say I’m well on my way to reaching my personally-set deadline next year if I keep it at the rate I’m going. Not to mention the characters and plotlines are exciting and realistic, in my own opinion. There’s still a lot left to be written, but I’ve got everything planned out. I don’t plan on stopping until I’m finished with it.

[j-k-notrowling]

Untitled

Hi there! Spoilers up front: this is a gratuitously long-winded “thank you,” not an Ask (also I’m 31 and don’t know how to Social Media so apologies if this is the wrong page/tab/link/widget).

--(oh actually it’s a blog post now because of course I can’t send an “Ask” this stupidly long see? wasn’t kidding about that Social Media thing...)--

I started writing my first book in the Fall of 2016. Before that I’d only written songs. One day I got an idea which didn’t fit within the usual rhymes or rhythms. I tried and tried, but kept on hitting a wall. In addition, I was fed up with the whole “business” of music—the fragile egos, the politics of being in a band, all that. One morning I sat down at my HP desktop computer (again...31) and opened up a blank Word document. I stared at it with murderous intent for a long time, but nothing happened. So I grabbed the nearest book off the shelf (Crash by J.G. Ballard), opened it, and began to type out the first paragraph, copying the sentences line by line. I wanted to see what it felt like — my clumsy fingers pecking at the keyboard, observing how the words fell into place with a musical cadence and tempo almost prophetic, as though the ink were destined to dry in this exact form upon the page, the machinery of its tumultuous birth and impeccable design skillfully concealed. I paused and looked out the window. There was a squirrel on the deck, I remember. And then I saw it. Not outside but inside my own head, behind my eyelids. The song, the one I’d been struggling to write, I saw that it could be a story. I saw it had a clear beginning, middle, and end. I saw a world of characters opening doors to other worlds, other stories, other characters. This was life-changing shit. Suddenly I was a little boy at my first baseball game, drinking my first ice-cold Coke, surrounded by old men chain-smoking Marlboro Reds and muttering dirty words I’d never heard before about the [EXPLETIVES DELETED] on the opposing team. I’d discovered a fire fueled by the psychic anarchy of its own discovery, a Moebius-strip of dramatic invention, a repository for all the pop-cultural turds floating around inside the cracked porcelain toilet bowl of my skull. I wrote prose every night after work. I never thought about what I was doing. I never once stopped to check word counts or page counts. I never thought about sticking to an outline, making sure my story adhered to a specific plot structure, none of that. I wrote like a man in love. Delirious, overheated teenage love. Wear-my-ill-fitting-letterman’s-jacket love (is this also A Thing™️ in Canada?). Stupid stupid stupid love, naive and hormonal and precious and retrospectively mortifying. I’d turn off the world, turn on the music, sit back and watch the words sashay straight into my lap. It took 2-3 months before the ruthless scourge known as Self Doubt farted in my private elevator. Am I doing this right? How many words are in a book, anyway? How many pages? How long is this going to take? Is this an effective way to impress women and/or get laid? Am I writing a novel or a novella? The fuck is “flash fiction”? Are you allowed to write actual books in Microsoft Word? Does it matter that my free trial version of Microsoft Word expires in 30 days? They’re bluffing, right? And so on. I compared my own writing with that of authors I admired; subsequently, I couldn’t get out of bed for a week. I watched 40+ hours of “Kitchen Nightmares” reruns (it’s. the. same. fucking. formula. every. single. episode.) and nursed my shame with bowl after bowl of strawberry ice cream. To think — I’d TOLD people about this fool’s errand, and sooner or later I’d have to show them precisely how awful a writer I was... I turned to the Internet for advice. At first, it seemed like a godsend. There was such a litany of knowledge, so many pro-tips and life hacks and proven formulas for success. This was how I stumbled across your channel. I found other channels which offered more straightforward “DO IT LIKE THIS YOU FUCKING IDIOT” instructions, but I still enjoyed yours the most. I lol-ed at your jokes. I remember a few videos where you spoke highly about All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr, which remains among the most achingly beautiful books I’ve ever read. Also you’re Canadian, and you guys just generally Human better than we (Americans) Human. ...and here my troubles began. See, the more I tried to adhere to word count goals, the more I tried to properly organize the scenes on my Scrivener™️ virtual cork board, the less I enjoyed the actual process of writing. So I tried other things, based upon other writers’ suggestions: cut the adverbs, write in the morning, write at night, write during your lunch break, write an outline, stick to the outline, write x amount of pages per day, write x number of hours per day, spend x amount of hours drafting and x amount of hours editing, etc. But nothing I tried made me feel confident in my writing. I started actively hating it, to be honest. I dreaded the cursor and the infinite white void. Then I would watch more writing videos and feel guilty about my lack of ambition, my inability to accomplish simple tasks. It’s only a few thousand words, dude — just get in there and do it. Eventually I would. I’d grumble and feel miserable and stay locked in my little writing dungeon all night, ignoring my friends’ texts and phone calls, and the next day I’d hate everything I wrote, trash it, and start over. Then, when I had no more writing left to hate, I started hating myself. The words in my head turned malignant, putrefied into spongy, black tumors. I’d spend all day at work consumed by thoughts and ideas and goals! goals! goals! for my book, then I’d come home and stare at a blinking cursor and wonder why I was such a worthless failure. I couldn’t write the way these other writers did, no matter what I tried. But I still wanted to write. Needed to, in that yearning, terrible way I suspect you understand. I don’t know why The Internet subconsciously invites us to flay ourselves before total strangers, but it does. So I will. Shit got Dark™️, Shaelin. I gained 50 pounds, started living like a hoarder, stopped hanging out with my friends, stopped leaving the house altogether. I kept the curtains closed so my neighbors wouldn’t see the piles of empty take-out boxes stacked up on the kitchen table. I traded the pleasures and contradictions and beguiling enigmas of women for the 24-hour neon distraction of cheap porno. My cat Maggie, basically the only friend I had during this time, got cancer. I watched her suffer and waste away because I couldn’t bear the thought of putting her to sleep and coming home alone to an empty, filthy house. Eventually she died and I hated myself even more for not being able to save her. I wore the same pair of pants for six months. I’d go to work and sit at my desk all day and do absolutely nothing (I was the accounting manager at a small company, technically my own “boss,” so I got away with this for a shocking, frankly heroic amount of time). Then I simply stopped going to work. And I kept torturing myself with those stupid goals and word counts, never happy with the end result, resigned to feel like a failure every day. I remember watching your “Spill the Tea” video back when it was initially posted. Watching it now is eerie, because you describe exactly what I was going through, what I was feeling. Like, to the “T” (see what I did there? #WordPlay #LitPuns101). I’d never experienced anxiety/depression before, so I didn’t really understand what was happening to me. Not that it mattered, because by that point the damage was done. I couldn’t recognize and isolate the real problem. I’d given up. Even though you said a lot of things in that video I desperately, desperately needed to hear, I didn’t listen. I didn’t want to listen to you, because you were one of Them™️. Your eyes were bright and your voice sounded friendly and encouraging, but your name wasn’t McCarthy or Pynchon or DeLillo or Nabokov. You were just a kid. What could you possibly know that I didn’t? In January of this year I called a local psychiatric hospital and told them I was planning to kill myself. I never harbored any true intentions of doing that, but I figured they’d offer me a nice three-week vacation in a padded cell. Considering the circumstances, it honestly seemed like a relief. I ended up quitting my job, selling my house, and moving back in with my parents 300 miles away. I started seeing a therapist once a week (still do, for the record). So far I’ve lost 30 pounds of the 50 pound surplus I acquired. I kept watching your videos, even though I was no longer in the market for writing advice (#JustHereForTheSnark). You kept me lol-ing through some bad days and weeks and months. I’d listen to you talk about problems with the writing community and nod my head like an old woman in church (#ShaelinSermons™️ #SheTeachesANDShePreaches), but I still hadn’t made the connection with my own issues. I swore off writing completely, went back to playing music. Cover songs in coffee shops and family restaurants. It was fun for awhile. I genuinely felt happier. But my story was still an old pebble poking around in my shoe...calling out, issuing playground taunts, drawing hairy cartoon dicks on my forehead while I slept. About a month ago I stared down another blank page, my first since experiencing that fun-sized nervous breakdown earlier this year. I closed my eyes and heard your voice in my head. “You can do whatever you want.” I had no goals, no arbitrary quotas to meet. I wrote a few lines, stopped, fixed a couple things I wasn’t satisfied with, and then went on with my day. I thought about what I’d written, sure, but I didn’t worry or spend the whole day stressing out. The next morning I read over what I’d done, and I didn’t hate it. I thought it was actually pretty good, funny and off-kilter and a little/lotta fucked up. So I sat down and wrote some more. Took some things out, re-worded stuff, dressed up the bones in silver and pearls. Addition and subtraction. Before I knew it, I’d finished a whole page. Then another. And then the hair on the back of my neck stood up, because I remembered: This is how it felt at the beginning. Back when I was young and love-struck and writing only to catch those moments of pure levitation, that devilish tickle, that rush of blood propelled by my own wild heart. It’s been a rough road, but I finally found what I’d lost. I figured out how to write again and enjoy it. And ultimately, the best writing advice I received didn’t come from McCarthy or Pynchon or DeLillo or Nabokov. It came from a young woman in another country with a camera and a nose ring and a big tapestry and bigger dreams which run parallel to my own. So thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your busy life and braving the Steaming Pile™️ that is The Internet to offer words of empathy and encouragement to complete strangers. Thank you for the wisdom you share. Thank you for being who you are. Know that tonight the stars shine brighter as a result. They do for me, at least. (Also I’m sincerely sorry about the absurd length of this “Ask” wherein no actual questions were posed and nothing substantial was communicated beyond a simple yet torturously delayed “thank you” kthxbye #longlivethenewtapestry 

—Justin)

[tinkdw]

How... do you personally read Cas? I mean, the glasses do make sense in a way, since he does have a penchant for learning (then and even now, like he's in on the journey alongside his ward Jack). But I don't know if glasses do the overall picture justice...

IDK how to keep it short tbh, I could write whole essays on how I read Cas ;)

I just think it’s interesting how people pick up on different things. Eg. I just don’t read Cas as some unknowing, hesitant, unconfident, crying ball of nonsense. Like, 

Have ya MET Cas?

He’s a confident bucket of sass who’s canonically watched humanity for eons. Sure of course his story is that for years he lost that confidence due to the situation he’s found himself in but his endgame is to gain that back you know? His PERSONALITY hasn’t changed, who he is deep down hasn’t changed, he’s not some blubbering wreck of a dude with no clue about the world and a need to be rocked to sleep whilst being sung a lullaby cos he’s oh so friggin delicate. He just didn’t know about pop culture (he does now) or have personal practice in things like eating and sex (he does now) so like… I struggle to understand the concept of this snivelling wreck in fics sometimes (and weak, don’t even get me started on physically weak, pale, pasty Cas, URGH have you met Misha or heard how much everyone in the show goes on about how HOT he is all the time?!). Even in the show when he was at his most depressed and suicidal he wasn’t pathetic.

So yeah, I think everyone can read him how they like, I just personally don’t see any reason in canon to read him like that, once he’s who he truly is, without the self doubt etc (and that’s how I read all of them, who they truly are beneath all the crap that they are going through, like I don’t read Sam as being happy in Dean’s shadow or Dean happy in the closet you know?).

So yeah, back to the topic of glasses, I do see why people read him as a bookworm, hell I do too, but not just this. Sometimes I read / see the idea that he’s just a bookworm who waits at home while the boys go out to hunt and literally just reads lore until Dean comes home and makes him dinner. Jesus. He’s also a brilliant fighter and strategist, he’s even a little vain, he’s someone who loves PB&J and watching nature and civilisation documentaries while stuffing his face with toffee popcorn who then can turn it off and spend 3 hours taking his boyfriend apart with his tongue and enjoy the hell out of all of it equally (well not equally but you know what I mean :p).

IDK, like, his whole humanity arc purposefully showed us that he’s not just interested in learning and serious things. That was kinda the whole point of his humanity arc, it’s exposition of what he wants, what his endgame is. Even if you don’t adhere to the human!cas endgame it still showed us what he wants overall - peace, a sense of purpose, a home, family etc. Basing a reading of the character on how he is when he’s depressed / repressed is kind of missing the point. It’s like omitting Sam’s character from s1-3 (eg. his wacky fashion sense, self confidence, the kind of women he was interested in etc) and all the moments we see beneath Dean’s facade eg. how he enjoys cake as well as pie, loved riding Larry, all the bi meta, Taylor Swift, the confessional scene, the list goes on. For Cas so much of this is in the snippets where he is doing something for himself or something he truly believes in, basically when he’s not doing what he perceives as duty ie. when he’s human was the biggest exposition but also his sass towards Lucifer who he gives zero shits about, his sass towards Dean who he’s comfortable with being himself around eg. 12x10 and clearly for me his exposition that he never wanted to take his grace back but did it due to his sense of duty to save Sam and Heaven.

He’s so multifaceted and you have to really look beyond the surface level to read him as 90% of the time we see him on screen he’s doing what he thinks he should do, not what he wants to do. You have to find the times when he’s truly being himself and base your character reading on that.

So yeah, different readings are all totally valid I just personally read him as a very well rounded, complex character who loves to read a book sure and glasses, why the hell not?! and get stuck into a deep conversation with Sam about the inner workings of the human psyche but also would totally argue with Dean and Charlie for hours about how Legolas is a far cooler than Gimli and Aragorn and Arwen are the best romance couple of all time and it’s a travesty how it ends but he read a brilliant fanfic where it all got fixed so they lived happily ever after and he far prefers that version :P

[synthaphone]

had a pop culture dream in 3 parts

first part: I’m harry potter in the 7th book. instead of hogwarts that year, harry decides to check himself into prison, because he is super depressed and wants to die. so he basically behaves really badly and lashes out to get all his friends and the jailer to hate him, but it backfires ultimately because over time he starts caring about the other prisoners and regaining his will to live. then he goes on an interdimensional elevator ride and tries to save “the other prisoners”, elsa from frozen and the cast of smash brothers, most specifically ness, lucas, and toon link, who are all apparently from the same alien planet

second part: i was Spider Man and also had three Pokemon types that i had to make sure i kept hidden so people wouldnt know Spider Man’s weaknesses (i think they were Psychic, Ground, and like, Flying?? but bug sure would have made more sense, huh). some pokemon try to fight me while im not in the spider man costume and i have to win AND win in a cool impressive way without letting on that i’m spider man

third (and best, imo) part: a jughead type dude is hit with a curse that makes him a shapeshifting monster with goat legs, unless he absorbs a human soul, which temporarily will give him human legs again. he starts going to taverns to steal the souls of drunk people and also becomes an alcoholic- he also has to start shapeshifting his face into different people’s faces to not get caught

simultaneously to this, Goofy exists in this universe, and has become a vampire. he is hiding this from his friends.

so one day another goofy (jughead dude) walks into the same bar that Goofy and friends are in and starts drinking a mad amount of beer and (badly) pretending to be goofy. real, vampire goofy doesnt like this one bit- he sneaks off, turns invisible, and decides to crawl back across the ceiling with something heavy to drop on jughead goofy’s head- however, jughead goofy notices this object floating above him, excuses himself, and goes to challenge vampire goofy on the roof of the establishment.

there, they both knock each other’s most prominent teeth out (the signature goofy teeth and the vampire fangs), imposter goofy calls real goofy on being a secret vampire, and they form an uneasy camraderie. real goofy is sad his teeth are gone because now his signature talking style sounds different, fake goofy doesnt give a shit because he’s shapeshifted anyway and couldnt do the goofy voice even when he was actively trying to impersonate goofy. then they go clothes shopping together before realizing they’re both flat broke. real vampire goofy insists stealing is wrong, fake goofy is like “just turn invisible dude its easy for you to steal”, the dream ends at this point