#based on a true story. yes i am the reason we have a first aid kit in the kitchen

[seth-whumps]

"Why are you helping?"

"You're not the only one who gets hurt. We all take care of each other."

"It was a stupid mistake."

"Yeah, well, I'm the reason we have a first aid kit in the kitchen. I'll cut myself with my own fingernails. They still give me a bandaid when I need one. So relax and let me help, yeah?"

[thegeniusofplaytimeco]

Chapter 11: A Tight Squeeze for Everyone

Here you are at last, the preparation is as good as complete and it's back to the factory. The goal: to retrieve the real bodies of the Smilling Critters. But navigating with 7 people is very tiring, especially when some of them have to talk all the time. You are also greeted by someone who is already ringing your alarm bells.

---

I am back! Finally, the next chapter of the story! As I said on my Wattpad, writing this was a long story, With the burning Heat and everything. And here are a few of the future chapter names I can already say: - Moments before disaster - In a Silent Way - The Theory of True happiness - Truth - Break my Heart Well, with that I would wish YOU a lot of fun reading, best leave the endnotes too!

---

"First aid kit?"

"Yep!"

You're all in your living room. You're standing right in front of the TV with a big backpack leaning on your right shoulder, but your eyes are facing forward, all of the critters are sitting on the couch. They were sitting in the same order as always: Hoppy and Kickin on the far end, followed by Crafty and Bobby, then DogDay and CatNap and finally Bubba and Picky.

Right now, for once, it's different, they're all completely focused on what you're saying and doing, because you're discussing the plan and your luggage for the last time. Right, in a few hours you'll be driving back to the factory and now was the last chance to check everything and avoid mistakes.

The division, chosen by you, was based on interest and selection. Everyone had a reason for what they put in their luggage. You had the most important role, everything medical and documentary was in your large Backpack. Apart from the small things, like a first aid kit. Your backpack was filled to the brim with medications such as Dramamine, Cough Drops, 70 percent isopropyl alcohol and much more. You store it in the back of your mind in a kind of list: First Aid ➤ Specialized Items ➤ Additional Supplies.

But the most important thing was in a small pocket behind the backpack: Ciclosporin. The drug that is needed when body parts such as organs or tissue are transplanted to suppress the immune system and prevent rejection of the transplant: Immunosuppressants. As the laboratory may have been completely lost in the experiments, it may no longer be in stock, so you take it with you from home.

You have thought of every little detail, as always.

[ "There are parts of the human being that are still a great mystery." ]

It's going to be a long trip, and somehow you have a strange feeling in your stomach. As your eyes go from critter to critter, this feeling grows stronger. You can't shake it, it burns itself into your head like a dream you've always wished for.

But it's bad at the same time. You not only have the feeling, but also the idea of what horrors await you in the factory. You will probably all be pushed to your limits, both humanly and existentially. It will be horrible, especially for you.

After all, you are the one who made them all the way they are.

"The construction plans for the Main Entrance to Train Station areas?"

"Yes! All in my backpack!" Replies Bobby, far too enthusiastic and nervous for your liking. She has no real idea what to expect, they haven't even been out of Playcare yet, so why the tone in her voice? To you, the Smilling Critters were just one thing most of the time:

Idiots

"I think we have everything, Y/N. I think we can go, I mean the sooner we go the better, don't you?" Bubba looks confident, as far as you can tell. They have at most a couple traits for each emotion that change when expressed, less than humans. Bubba pushes his trunk a little higher and strikes a thinking pose. "Since our bodies are uncooled right now, and the temperature could drop constantly,

Like I don't know, does he think I'm an idiot? Why are you explaining it as if I don't know? I'm the one who explained it to you. Or is that some kind of consideration for your friends?

No matter.

"Yes, go...let's go."

[ "You can sacrifice pieces of your flesh but still be considered selfish for keeping your bones "]

The feeling is tearing you apart, not just the nervousness you're covering up, no. In the end, it's all your fault and you're hoping that the feeling of guilt won't catch up with you. If you meet the prototype, even you can't imagine how the conversation will go.

Will you really face the horror of the experiments, death and all the dead employees? Even if you have always been quite unemotional in life up to now, it could be that everything is taking its toll on you.

Maybe even a genius like you is pushed to his human limits, both mentally and physically.

So here we go.

<hr> </hr>

"Will we be there soon?"

You don't answer. Your eyes are fixed on the dark road and the trees in the background, both hands on the steering wheel. Your ears have so far ignored the critters, even when CatNap and DogDay sitting in the passenger seat start talking loudly. The other 6 of them sit in the back and talk louder, most of the time playing "I spy with my little eye" or talking about stupid shit like little kids. Picky is already talking about the food she will prepare in the factory after we take a break or sleep.

"Anon"

So it was quiet again for a while. Kickin kept asking in a 7-minute rhythm when you would finally be there. Yes, you counted the time between each question. Your eyes waver on the mirror for a fraction of a millisecond, and Hoppy's eyes meet yours for a moment. You know her look, the emptiness in her eyes, the tired and unwilling manner. A few days ago, that was you. Or you still are, after all, you've hardly changed at all, your habits have remained the same and so has your realistic and logical way of thinking.

People don't change overnight. People like you take years, maybe not at all. They die alone, with no purpose in their lives and goals that never existed. Empathy Loose beings who only walked this earth because they had no other choice, in fact you have done everything so far because somewhere deep in your mind there was no other choice.

Hoppy looks just like you think.

She definitely still hates me. I can't blame her, and I don't, because I don't care. But she's the only one of the critters who still has that look on her face. I wonder how long it will last.

Your hand sinks down and finds itself on your right knee. You're wearing a white shirt, every single button buttoned all the way down. Over it is a black coat, it reaches about your knees, lies flat on your shoulder and covers you. The exact room temperature was one of the factors you can't determine exactly, so you have a coat and a change of clothes in your backpack next to the medical supplies.

The coat also serves as sight protection for the pistol, which you conceal in the inside pocket.

It's not just that the Smilling Critter shouldn't see the weapon. In case you run into other experiments, which is bound to happen, it's an extra layer of protection. Every experiment has a certain vulnerability, and you have great aim with the weapon. Shooting was basically nothing more than physics, predicting fast shots based on gravity using probability was not difficult, especially not for a genius like you.

"I spy with my little eye, something that is blue and square!" Bobby shouts it loudly through the whole car, for a moment you see CatNap slightly folding down his ears.

You know exactly what she means, and it's not really difficult to find out. Along the road you are currently driving along is a large pillar with a signpost saying: Playtime Co. Toy manufacturing company. The dark road, slightly mixed with fog, high yellow/orange lights above the road and the huge factory building already in view reminds you of a dream from a few years ago, it even feels like déjà vu at times.

So we're almost there, 700 meters to go.

There it is again: that feeling in your stomach. You can hardly describe it, as if you are now experiencing a moment that you dreamed of a few days ago, and these are usually not good moments.

"Dude, I'm really excited! I mean we're going to see the other side too, so it can't be that bad!

He didn't understand what we were doing here, did he? Fucking idiot.

600 meters.

"Kickin, what we're about to do is really dangerous and not cool, are you really aware of that?" Bubba answers him directly, like some kind of teacher who hears his student whispering a question.

500 meters.

"Yeah Bubba, I get it man!"

"Calm down, we all have to keep a cool head now. Everything is at stake here people, we finally have the chance to change everything. I mean...just imagine it: Enjoying life in a normal body and the normal world!"

Maybe they not only have the chance to change everything, but so do you.

400 meters.

"H-Hey...So...would you all like to...live together later?" Crafty asks, shyly, her head so low it's almost on her knees. She stutters slightly, probably already caught up in the anxiety the factory triggers in her. She sits in the middle seat, the smallest and thinnest next to Bobby. Now that no one is answering and it has become uncomfortably quiet, she quickly starts talking again.

"W-Well, we don't even have to

"That's a great idea Crafty!"

"Yes Crafty, really, not bad. Then we can all move into something like a shared flat later and go to school or college together."

300 meters.

He probably got the word "flat-sharing community" from one of your books. After all, it only appeared in one of the books you had on your shelf in the bedroom, although you never actually allowed him to get to it, in some of the documentaries of your work. But the word only ever appeared once... Damn genius. You can memorize everything perfectly, even better than fucking people with a photographic memory.

"Sooooo" Kickin starts talking again, a little bored, but at the same time waiting for something. "How are we supposed to do it, so I don't think any of you have a lot of money to just rent us an apartment."

"Oh, I think you earn very well as a scientist, don't you?" Hoppy, who else. The passive aggressiveness is hard to miss in her voice. Her bunny ears are hanging way over her head and her eyes are on the rearview mirror, trying to meet yours.

This is followed by silence. Nobody talks, nobody breathes loudly or anything else. Everyone seems to have understood what Hoppy is getting at:

She thinks because I did all this to them, I'm going to buy them a house now? Interesting way of thinking.

200 meters.

Your eyes focus on the large, visible parking lot that you are slowly approaching. You slowly press more gently on the pedal, only just under 40 km/h and the engine is no longer audible. The vibrations still follow you through the gearbox and drive your train of thought.

In case the Higher Management elevator doesn't work because of the power, then we have to walk a much longer one. First the Main Entrance then to the Gift Shop, through the Security Room and into the Main Lobby. Most likely into the Power Room for the doors and through the Warehouse. Then in the Make-A-Friend into the Conveyor Belt System, therefore the Ventilation Shaft. Then we should end up in the huge scaffolding structure, come across the Poppy room that was set up there at the time and through there to Ludwig's office.

100 meters.

"Dude, we're really back here."

"Yes Kickin, that was the whole plan wasn't it?"

"I didn't mean it like that, I just mean this feeling, do you understand?"

"I know what Kickin means! That warm fuzzy because we're all in the car together?"

"No Bobby, I don't think that's what he means."

"y-you are really loud"

"Crafty, I think it's the excitement."

"Yeah man! The excitement before the damned doom"

"Sigh...Kickin"

"Yes, yes. It's all right, I'll be quiet."

"Huh, I thought Bubba remembers them all?"

"What?!"

"We can't leave all the plans to Bubba, can we?"

"Well... actually, yes"

"Kickin!"

"It doesn't matter, we have him by our side, you know...he's a genius"

[ "Let him take care of it, he's a genius" ]

You have arrived.

The parking lot looks exactly the same as the day you disappeared with the Smilling Critters. There are loads of cars here, all different makes and colors, some of which literally glow in the darkness of the night. But not a person in sight anywhere, all dead, or for the people looking for them, gone.

You barely spend any time in the parking lot, you at the front and the critters all behind you. First up were CatNap and DogDay, following your steps side by side to the front door as if you were some kind of guide. Then came Hoppy and Kickin, just a few steps behind them but basically faster. Behind them was the rest, talking the whole time about how "It looks really creepy out here, so abandoned." Or "I think it's much nicer outside than inside in Playcare."

Two large glass doors, actually open, as if they weren't automatic. You're not surprised, after all, all hell will have broken loose in here if a riot of experiments has happened.

You stop, the Backpack on your back shakes slightly, but you don't care. Normally these doors should be closed, partly because of burglars and partly for security reasons.

"What's wrong?" Crafty asks, seemingly a little frightened that you've suddenly stopped. You don't answer, this is more important. You stop between the glass doors and take a closer look. Normally it works via a combination of sensors, a motor and a control unit. But you don't need a closer look to see that the sensor isn't showing any light.

And that's it: the power is off.

"The power is off" That's all you have to say, you don't even have to turn to the critters to hear their reactions.

"God damn."

"Oh my."

"And what should we do now, DogDay?"

With that, you turn slightly sideways towards them. They all stood in a small circle, heads interlocked, seemingly thinking together about the next step. It looked like a rainbow circle, the different colors of fur and their radiance unavoidable

"We..." With that, DogDay looks up, his eyes meeting yours Which are not directed at him. He easily follows the direction and sees that You're looking at Hoppy. She wasn't standing in the circle, close by, but clearly somewhere else mentally. DogDay looks away, once to CatNap, who only gives him a stoic look. Then once to Bubba, who only answers him with a slow nod, and with that DogDay seems satisfied. "We'll just follow Y/N's plan, the long way through the factory."

You walk straight in and are greeted by a cash register with a huge Huggy Wuggy drawing on the wall. All you could see was his head and the iconic red lips, next to the head was a yellow speech bubble with the word: Welcome. Straight ahead of you, to the left and right are two paths, which are blocked by a turnstile barrier.

Without wasting another glance, you go in, stand at the front for a moment and think for a moment.

On the left is the security room, on the right: the Gift Shop.

You hardly need to think about the whole thing, this is just the beginning of a long trip. Behind you, you can hear the critters all slowly coming in, heavy and light footsteps, some of them already breathing heavily. The reason is definitely the air: the smell of blood is subtle, but noticeable.

"Wait here for a moment." Go to the Security Room, where you should always have a spare GrabPack according to the regulations. In front of the door is a keypad with 9 different colors on it. Most of them don't matter, except for four. This system was only introduced 2 years ago, and was actually there so that if people tried to break in they wouldn't get far. However, every damn idiot should know that there are only 6561 combinations in a field of nine colors. That may seem like a hell of a lot to most people, but if you think about it, if you only need 5 seconds per entry, you need almost 9 hours.

Anyone who really wants to break in here would simply try the standard combinations. Like a number sign, so first check whether it's just one color, four times.

If you have eyes and ears, go to the Gift Shop. Directly on the ceiling is a small train, a model train. The colors are painted directly on it, in order. You were fundamentally against this idea: employees who can't even remember a four-color code shouldn't be entitled to a GrabPack. But since Ludwig told you every day about employees who once again couldn't get into the security room, you didn't care.

The dome of your index finger feels strange on the colored surface of the keys. It was as if you were pressing on a stone, the surface is actually slightly uneven, perhaps by a few millimeters.

Did someone try to escape the riot? Then the person here was scratching at it the whole time. Did they not know the code for the room? Anyone who can't even remember a four-color code probably doesn't deserve to have a shelter like this.

green, pink, yellow and red.

Your thoughts come to a halt as you enter the room. There is no one here. No sign of any people, apart from the subtle scent of blood in the air.

You don't know why, but somehow... you think about the thought you just had.

No one made it in here as protection? Did someone betray the code to experiments and sacrifice the others? Never. Or were the people really too stupid to get in here?

Your eyes take in the room: to your left are two chairs, followed by a table and then a square glass container in the wall. In front of you are 30 monitors on several tables, with 4 chairs in front of them. You walk directly towards the glass on the wall. Normally you need the tape on the reception desk or the tape in the gift store, but it doesn't matter.

You're smarter: just press the play button on the tape player and look: The glass opens and a GrabPack is there for the taking.

You can't believe that the whole system was so stupid, actually you can, but that there really were people who thought you really had to put in the right tape? Pathetic. People are so pathetic, with their simplistic thinking.

You grab it, put it over your shoulders and the plastic backpack-like part behind your backpack. The blue hand is in front of you, while the back part is on top of the backpack. But you can easily keep your balance, even with the extra weight.

The Red Hand should still be in the warehouse.

You go back to the main entrance where the critters are already waiting for you. Even though they are not small like their cartoon versions, some are even bigger than you. These were DogDay and Kickinchicken, they were about 6'1, pretty tall for an experiment. That also put them among the tallest of all the experiments, except for a few outliers like CatNap (the praying mantis version), Huggy Wuggy and the prototype's True Form.

On the left as you walk, you notice one of the marketing posters with the words "Poppy want's to Play". You never really liked Poppy, of course, she was one of the first creations created by the Doctor back then. That's as far as they got, and that's why she was regarded as a kind of goddess. But she was basically just a child whose organs were transplanted into a little doll, no, it's much worse than that. The child's innards were optimized so that they would fit into the little doll. Only one lung, the heart made smaller, the intestines shortened and parts of the brain completely removed.

But in your opinion, it wasn't a good job. The doctor, Harley Sawyer, didn't pay attention to too many things, and that's one of the standard mistakes of a human being. You weren't like that, in a situation your brain immediately switches into high gear, it was like overthinking, but hardly comparable. You see every possible scenario as if it were drawn on a tree diagram, with every outcome and consequence of every action. You were one step ahead of everyone, not just one, on average more than 5.

The only reason people thought Harley Sawyer was so good was because...they didn't know you.

"What's that?" Bobby asks, slightly puzzled but interested. Her eyes widen, she steps slightly out of the circle the critters have formed and waits for an answer.

"Is that one of those GrabPacks?" Bubba shouts a little louder, standing up straight and glancing at the Blue Hand sticking out to your left.

You don't answer, it would be wasted anyway because Bobby has an attention span of a few seconds and would forget it straight away. So you answer with a curt nod and turn towards the large Huggy drawing on the wall.

You walk forward, along the turnstile barriers and into the small dark semi-circular middle room. The only thing here is the metal-blocked door and the small blue scanner above it. You adjust the GrabPack a little so that it is not so heavy on your shoulders, after all, the journey is only just beginning and it will be on your shoulders for a long time to come.

Behind you, you hear the footsteps of the Smilling Critters, two quietly at first and then the rest. They've already looked around a bit, you saw that out of the corner of your eye earlier and because Crafty was still looking towards the Gift Shop in the circle. That's why they're making loud noises, because they know there's no one here, so they're safe.

With your left hand, you pull the small red trigger under the blue hand and watch as it shoots out and attaches itself to the blue scanner above the large gate. It takes a few seconds, but a small bar above the scanner starts to load immediately.

"Wow, this hand is really cool."

"I'm sure it would be easy to get into cupboards if you're small."

"Is there some kind of computer chip in there?"

They talk far too much.

The beam is full, the metal gate slowly rises and only one thing can be seen from afar: A giant Huggy Wuggy.

What is he doing here?

You walk forward slowly, instinct sharp because of the experiment, which is now within a 20-meter radius of you. You are not the only one who has noticed him, even if the critters take longer.

"DUDE! HOLY SHIT!"

"Kickin! Stop Screaming!"

"Kick, You really Scared me!"

Can't they all shut up for a few minutes?

"Guys, c-calm down. Have you forgotten that we're not alone?" You don't turn around, preferring to keep your eyes on the most important thing: Huggy. DogDay seems to be trying to calm the others down, even though you can literally feel his body shaking. "We've got Y/N, he-he's helping us."

Silence falls again for the time being, only heavy breathing can be heard behind you. You step forward into the huge room of the main lobby. The typical colored squares on the floor, the toy boxes lying around, the doors around you. The feeling is hard to describe, the closest you would get is if you were in a dark end of the hallway waiting to finally be found.

"I...I'm scared," Crafty mumbles, completely disturbed by the sudden change in atmosphere.

The only thing in the whole room where the light was is with him. Huggy Wuggy stands tall with a big smile on his face while not moving a centimeter. His left hand is taut next to his figure, the other holding the huge sign that reads: Playtime Co.

You observe him more closely.

The blue color of his body looks much too fresh. His eyes are slightly wider than in the labs, is it the human flesh he ate? Why are there these toy boxes everywhere?

"Wait here for a moment."

You walk around the area and keep an eye out. The various rooms that were all closed off: Testing, Innovation, Theater, Cafeteria, GrabPack-exclusive Room, and the Power Room that keeps the electricity flowing to the Make-A-Friend hallway.

But something was wrong: there was a hole in the large metal gate to the Make-A-Friend Hallway. A medium-sized hole, about the diameter of a knife, in the bottom left-hand corner.

Did someone sneak through there? Was someone trying to escape there? Shit, are we not alone?

"What's going on?"

"Is something wrong Y/N?"

You don't answer and look at them. They are still standing at the front of the room, all with their eyes fixed on Huggy. They look at him as if he's going to move on them at any second and eat them all.

Although that is also possible. Huggy is probably in standby mode right now, he won't be hungry for human flesh and therefore won't cause any problems for the time being.

Your eyes fixate on the metal gate again, but this time not on the small hole, but on the scanner above it. You shoot the blue hand of the GrabPack at it and don't really expect anything, after all nothing should happen as the power is off.

The person who made a hole in the metal gate here is bloody stupid. How can you get any further without electricity? This power room conducts the electricity in this direction in the first place.

Before the scanner bar fills up, a short circuit sounds. A voltage can be seen, small and quite fast, running from the scanner along the cable and then stopping at the power room. You follow it, a few steps and you are standing right in front of the room labeled "POWER". Next to it was a small drawing of Huggy, but he was unimportant for now.

At least until you hear a small metallic sound behind you.

You turn around in a flash, feel your backpack shaking on your back and the GrabPack about to fall off. Your eyes wide open, your breath held for a second and you felt the adrenaline from your brain run completely through your body.

You analyze Huggy's form.

He didn't move. Not a bit. He is standing on the same square meter, his feet are in the same position as 27 seconds ago.

But now a key was hanging from his right hand. A small yellow key with a triangular head.

The key to the Power Room.

Most people would be shocked now, after all, a key has appeared out of nowhere in his right hand. But you, no, you're not like most people. Without a second thought, you shoot out the blue hand, grab the key and pull it back with the trigger.

You take it in your right hand and step straight back to the power room. You are about to go in until you hear the critters.

"Hey, Y/N..."

Ugh.

You turn to them, they are already standing in a kind of circle again. This time they all turn their heads towards you. All of them are trembling, if only slightly. The fear was easy to see, unexplored territory and situations that have not already been explored always trigger panic in the brain.

"C-can we go with you?"

No.

"It's really creepy here."

Did I ask?

"Huggy was never that scary."

You've only seen him in a cartoon, what did you expect?

You already knew that they get scared so quickly, but you're still annoyed. The power room would only take you a few minutes at most. You know the wiring diagrams by heart and the only thing you have to do there is to connect a high voltage connection to another point via two conductors. If anything, you need 30 seconds.

"Come then"

Have you gone soft? If you had been here a month ago, you would never have let them come with you. You wouldn't have cared what happened to them, whether they survived or were gradually torn to pieces by Huggy. But now? No, you can't just leave them here, it's like morality. But you haven't changed much yet.

You walk one step faster, into the dark corridor with the red sign "STAFF ONLY". Simply push open the black glass door and you are already in the Power Room. Lots of small gray cabinets, behind which there are small systems and distributors. The company's electricians should have made more of an effort to distribute the power boxes, then the power would certainly not have failed so easily in the riot.

You shoot the blue hand at one of the power cores, turning the extension blue, which is a sign that voltage is flowing through it. You waste no time, walk once around the room, glide along the conductor with the thin, energized arm and reach your destination.

The critters watch you like little children, which they actually are, at least in part. Big eyes and two open mouths that look like the left arm is shining blue and an atmosphere that was a change from the one you just had.

"Wow."

"What a beautiful color."

"Can I touch that?"

"Better not do it Bobby, I think there's electricity running through it..."

What a bunch of idiots.

You turn around and something catches your eye. It's not as if you hadn't seen it before, you just didn't want to stop and take a closer look because it would take time.

It was a destroyed boogie bot surrounded by spattered blood, above it on the wall was a drawing of The Prototype's hand. The only word there was "Wonderful".

The riot seems to have happened a long time ago, the blood is already so dark. But what's with the Wonderful? Does the prototype want to assemble his own body with the corpse parts just because I told Ludwig that I wasn't helping?

You turn around, walk back down the corridor to the main lobby and notice something.

Huggy has disappeared.

Your eyes only see the empty pedestal where he stood a few minutes ago. Only the lights above it were also on and all shone downwards, where no one was.

Has he just come out of stand-by mode? Right now when we were all in the power room? No way, he was awake the whole time and was just waiting for us to let him out of our sight.

The critters don't make a single sound, not even DogDay's tail moves. You don't have to turn around to see their fear, the loud breathing you hear is enough. None of them talk, whereas they usually all talk at the same time.

As you shoot the Blue Hand at the scanner and watch the bar slowly fill up, you think.

Not only is Huggy now in our path, no. There is definitely a human here who is taking the same route as us, otherwise the hole would be here for no reason. So a human and an experiment directly in our path.

You let them know what you had never done before.

"We're...we're not alone."

This opens the metal gate to the Make-A-Friend hallway and you see a long blue arm clinging to a door far away.

---

All right, that's it for now. But who is this mysterious person who, instead of solving the electricity puzzle, simply made a hole in the door and crawled through? I hope we meet them soon. As I said before, here are some of the names of future chapter names that I can already name: - Moments before disaster - In a Silent Way - The Theory of True happiness - Truth - Break my Heart Have fun reading, leave a Like and a comment!

[alastorseye]

About Remadora

When I say I really hate the HP fandom, I'm talking about the "fans" that hate everything about the saga, but still having Harry Potter accounts. They change the original story, claim that fanonical facts are canon, and launch hatred and death threats at those who simply like HARRY POTTER JUST THE WAY IT IS. Yes, I'm mostly talking about Marauders fans, which I joined after reading the books because I thought it would be interesting and funny. I suddenly realized how toxic and hateful that fandom was, it's like a cult dedicated to deifying Remus, Sirius, James and Regulus, and it seems that hating Snape, Dumbledore, and Remadora is a requirement to be a part of it.

At the beginning I used to consider Wolfstar as something funny, a bromance, it never bothered me, I mean... every fandom has fanon ships and I respect that, but the way they always hate Remadora and their shippers is something that MUST stop.

"You see!" said a strained voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

"It's different," said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely -"

"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks, seizing the front ofLupin's robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times. . . ." And the meaning of Tonks's Patronus and her mouse-colored hair, and the reason she had come running to find Dumbledore when she had heard a rumor someone had been attacked by Greyback, all suddenly became clear to Harry; it had not been Sirius that Tonks had fallen in love with after all."

"And I've told you a million times," said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes,staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor . . . too dangerous. . ."

When I read this part of the HBP I realized that Remadora was my favorite Harry Potter ship. Of course I wasn't aware of the death threats I'd receive later. I've read some "reasons" why some fans hate Remadora.

"Tonks forced him!"

We all know how insecure Remus was. I don't have to explain what's written in Wizarding World (Pottermore). This is the Remus bio:

Well, we can read that Remus was really attracted to Dora.

"Remus, so often melancholy and lonely, was first amused, then impressed, then seriously smitten by the young witch. He had never fallen in love before. If it had happened in peacetime, Remus would have simply taken himself off to a new place and a new job, so that he did not have to endure the pain of watching Tonks fall in love with a handsome, young wizard in the Auror office, which was what he expected to happen. However, this was war; they were both needed in the Order of the Phoenix, and nobody knew what the next day would bring. Remus felt justified in remaining exactly where he was, keeping his feelings to himself but secretly rejoicing every time somebody paired him with Tonks on some overnight mission".

This is so sad and cute, and that's undeniable. I cried when I read it. If someone still thinking that Dora forced Remus to marry her after reading this paragraph... I mean... they're probably talking about another book series.

"The age gap!"

I'm so satisfied to know that some Remadora shippers have explained this. When it's about a kid and an adult... OF COURSE IS HORRENDOUS! Because children are not physically and mentally prepared to have romantic relationships. Wizards are legally adults at 17, REMUS MET TONKS WHEN SHE WAS 21!

I mean, many old people abuses of young people innocence, or something. But we all know that Remus wasn't one of those! He really loved Tonks, and that's canon. I don't know what's doing in the fandom people who denies canon facts.

Remus and Tonks were two physically, mentally, and legally adults loving each other.

"Remus didn't love her!"

He was an introvert, Tonks was an extrovert, she made his life better. And of course, I loved the way he introduced himself when he was trying to prove he wasn't a Death Eater:

"I am Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, one of the four creators of the Marauder's Map, married to Nymphadora, usually known as Tonks, and I taught you how to produce a Patronus, Harry, which takes the form of a stag." (Remus Lupin, DH)

Maybe I'm not the only one who perceive he was proud to be Nymphadora Tonks husband.

"I.. I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgment and have regretted it very much every since". (Remus Lupin, DH)

This phrase makes more sense after reading Remus bio. He used to think that he was "too poor, too dangerous" for her. He thought he wasn't enough for her. He never imagined that she would love him back. He was a werewolf, and of course he knew he was dangerous, you only need to be emphatic to realize he tried to get away from Tonks because he loved her, he didn't want to hurt his beloved woman!

If you don't believe me, read this again. It's in the chapter 11 of Deathly Hallows:

"Don't you understand what I've done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I've made her an outcast!"

So, if Remus was trying to escape it's because he loved them, he thought he spoiled their lives. And of course, no one likes to feel that their influence is bad for someone they love!

"Their relationship came from nowhere! They don't have a development"

Well, the saga's name is HARRY POTTER, not The Love Life of Remus Lupin. The story is about the tragic life of this kid and everything he went through to save the world of a cruel and dark villain. I know many readers are young people in love, and they only want to ship everything, but that's not the main topic here, maybe mother's love would be the topic. Of course Ron and Hermione had a development because they were HARRY'S BEST FRIENDS, and they were always with him, from Philosopher's Stone to Cursed Child. Remus and Tonks are minor characters, and it's funny the fact that this usually comes from Wolfstar shippers, so... is Wolfstar more developed than Remadora?! I mean... they can ship whatever they want, Snape and the Sorting Hat, Dobby and Voldemort, anything, but that does not give them the right to disrespect such a cute, tragic and beautiful canon ship as Remadora.

"They are queercoded! Their relationship is homophobic!"

It's surprising to hear this. It's like... people gets angry just because the author doesn't make queer their favourite characters? I will explain why I don't think Remus and Tonks are "queercoded":

Whether through their dress, their behavior, their language, or other subtle forms of implication, queer characters were written or designed to communicate their unstated queerness to those who were searching for representation.

And this is the definition on the website Pride.com:

"Using LGBTQIA tropes and stereotypes to allude to a character's sexuality without explicitly confirming it in the text."

We all know that Disney used queercoding on characters like Ursula, Scar, Jaffar. And why do we know that? Because DISNEY WANTED TO PORTRAY THEM LIKE THAT, get it? Disney, THE CREATORS MADE THESE CHARACTERS INTENTIONALLY QUEER. How? BASED ON STEREOTYPES.

And going back to Remadora, I was really happy to see by first time a bada*ass woman, with short hair who wasn't portrayed as a lesbian just because the way she looks. This character didn't follow the: "Straight women have long hair and are girly", and "short dyied hair is for lesbians". I'm very very very surprised the fandom follows these stereotypes.

About Remus: I don't know how the phrase "being a werewolf is a metaphor about people with HIV AIDS" means "he's gay". Fenrir Greyback bit him when he was a kid. Many people interpret this as "r4pe". Okay, even thinking that it is the meaning of the "bite", I still cannot understand how being "r4ped" and "infected" makes him queer. Is this (again) a stereotype about people with AIDS and gay?

"JK Rowling created Remadora because she didn't like people shipping Wolfstar!"

It is true that fans love shipping everything, they queerbait and queercode everything. That's great, that's not the problem. The problem is when people starts bashing fans who ship canon straight couples. A very good example is the polemic on Falcon and Bucky relationship, some fans wanted them to be a gay couple, Anthony Mackie said that two men can only be friends, and there is no need to always give them a romantic connotation. People cancelled him, they called him homophobic. Yes, just because a person with authority (on the story they're following") didn't like the fact of queercoding their favourite characters. It's the same about Remadora.

Grindeldore is a very interesting and underrated couple by the way. You can love or hate JK Rowling, but the truth is that Harry Potter story is hers, and even if Remadora was "because she didn't like Wolfstar", she is the author, it was her mind where these characters first appeared, as a big Harry Potter fan I respect and like the original story, that's not a sin. An author has the right to make some changes if some characters were misunderstood by the readers.

(Yes, I wrote this a bit angrily since I've seen too much hate towards Remadora shippers)

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Hey, did you saw the film theory on Invader Zim on Membrane that Low-key makes sense

NO. IT. DOESN’T!

Okay, maybe this is my personal bias shining through, because I really don’t like Mattpatt sometimes... No. Okay, I have nothing against the guy personally. More frankly, I don’t like his fanbase or the way he structures his videos.

The way Mattpatt words and structures his videos acts like he’s the first person who thought of this idea, it’s the main contributor to why I stopped watching his videos a long time ago.

He speaks in a lot of rhetorics and strawman arguments rather than just saying what he wants to say. Like “If you don’t believe me... look no further then...” and that’s the one thing I ABSOLUTELY HATE on theory videos.

And some of Mattpatts own theories he doesn’t take seriously, but this is what you get when you base your INCOME off of youtube ad revenue and browse the reddit forums for new ideas. A completely monopolized way of theorizing. (and this is why there are several paragraphs in my current chapter of Tech Support of Zim’s Computer complaining about the concept of youtube entertainment in general.)

Sure, I don’t think Mattpatt will run out of theories... but I really hate the structure of his videos follows along strawman arguments, acting like he’s always arguing with an imaginary audience for entertainment value rather than just say what he wants to say.

That, and people will often cling to theories of someone with good editing software and a youtube channel then Their own opinions.

Something that I learned was incredibly dangerous to do. I learned my lesson with “That Guy with the Glasses dot com” and I don’t plan to act like I know something or am better than someone else cause I agree with someone who said something on youtube once.

I do watch Internet reviews and theory videos for entertainment, but that’s all they are to me. I don’t like to watch youtube videos to give me opinions on how I feel about things. And I seriously think a wide margin of his subscribers lack critical thinking skills at times, as well as a majority of the youtube audience, or from what I’ve seen in the comment section.

However, remember... These are just my thoughts on the matter... My thoughts are not law and I never claim them to be.

Like when I first joined the fandom and posed my GIR analysis questions... I even said:

“I don’t know if the fandom has talked about this in depth or not... I just got here... or if someone put it into this many words before but...”  

Also... the thing that bothers me about his Invader Zim theory...

A lot of Mattpatt’s sources are just..... Wrong...

(for the next few minutes I will be talking about this video, feel free to watch or don’t)

Okay.. “Membrane is an Irken” this has been a popular fan theory since before I even entered the fandom and there are old fics about this. I have read Irken Membrane stories before.

It’s not personally my cup of tea, but it’s fun to think about.

But the straws Mattpatt grasps in his video.... Really upset me because there is some thought to the theory back in the day.. ... Like back in 2002??? but like.... NOW?!

Okay, I’ll pick apart this a little... bit by bit...

He says that Membrane takes a hard stance against anything paranormal.

Kinda... but no.. Membrane never outright denies the existence of aliens. (except in ETF... which he mainly says out of frustration...) This is what Membrane says about “there are no aliens” in the show:

Membrane just says that there are no “intelligent” aliens...None that are able to travel the massive distance to Earth, anyways... If aliens existed at all, (like the cryptoids Dib talks of) they would have traveled the distance to the planet and communicated with them by now.

However, this is a nitpick of a minor issue. One that a majority of the fandom tends to overlook when viewing Professor Membrane and Dib’s relationship in general. 

And I do find it weird that he used this for evidence when he cut out the most important snippet from the full lecture he gives Dib here.... JUST to support his claim... as if he’s intentionally leaving that part out.... hmmmm

However, I can let this slide, because it’s a nitpick and really doesn’t change anything that Membrane is very dissuasive of Dib’s alien-hunting hobbies. (I have a theory as to why and I explain it here in my own way)

The point is, Membrane is dismissive of anything alien... maybe because he’s an Irken...okay, good, yes. fair. 

A lot of Mattpatts claims from then on are pretty solid, and I won’t bunk them with “But in my headcanon/Fanfic verse...”  Because what he is saying is all true.

Membrane denying the existence of aliens even after being taken to space jail doesn’t have much of an explanation and is played for comedy and there are many ways you can go with this, and I am not going to bring up my fanfics or my own headcanons to argue with him here.

Because there is no explanation, and he is going with the “Membrane is Irken” theory... So that’s very solid when he’s talking about Membrane denying the Hallucinations. 

Mattpatt claimed that Membrane wore his face covering at all times and had been dressed this way since he was a child.

I will not deny this. This is true.

However, isn’t bringing up Membrane’s childhood kinda put a hole in your own argument?

MEMBRANE WAS A CHILD.

He had been shown to have childhood memories in the comics and the show.

Irkens don’t really have a “Childhood” per say, at least not in the way that humans do. They are a smeet, then elite, then Invader..

If he’s claiming that Membrane came to earth as an Irken SMEET....How, why, and when? 

That kinda raises more questions than it answers.... What are you proving by bringing up Membrane’s baby pictures on Earth exactly? It kind of works against your own argument? 

Saying that they’re Irken because they all have the same hair.... that’s just stupid... and he’s citing the Invader Zim wiki on this .... oh boy.

Yeah, Like before I watched the show I thought Dib and Disguised Zim were the same character or brothers...

But I don’t think character design here is a solid enough reason in this case... At least not when it comes to the hairstyles... That’s a stretch.

“Hmmm Membrane’s hair forms an M shape... What could the M stand for? Mirken?! SUSPICIOUS!” (this is just a joke)

Also... the lack of ears thing... He did say it would be hard for Membrane to hear if his headpiece was covering his ears, but not necessarily... The entire thing is a headset and he is the man of science, he can really do whatever the fuck he wants cause Science is like magic in a show like this. So if Membrane wears a headset that doesn’t obstruct his hearing at all, I can buy it... Also.. it’s equally possible his ears got blown off in a chem lab accident or he’s legally deaf and that headset acts as a hearing aide and HELPS him hear... 

Actually, I always noticed how in Membrane’s original design from the show, the headset looked a lot like a hearing aid. Specifically one with a head clip, It’s one of the things I first noticed about his design in the show.

And it’s just something I always assumed because he’s a scientist who deals with explosions in his face on a daily basis... (in fact he experiences one in episode 2B) So on first viewing, I thought that his headset served as a hearing aid as well as prescription glasses and a communication device. 

I’m just throwing out possibilities because the “lack of ears” is also kinda a stretch.

Mattpatt complaining about “lack of nose” however... Okay, yeah I’ll give him that one. It’s a character design choice that is a little odd for Professor Membrane, but it does fit with the Irken theory, since a majority of human characters, in fact, all have noses. So, Yes the “lack of nose” does fit more into the Irken theory. 

However.... Florpus anime Membrane DOES have a nose...

Meant to be drawn in a more semi-realistic artsyle, you can clearly see the bridge of his nose here.

And he looks very similar to anime Dib... Sooooo... Shrug-city... 

It’s likely that Membrane not having a nose in the show is simply a stylistic choice than anything else. Basically, the bridge of the nose is there... we just don’t see it.

Especially since Nightmare Membrane has a nose as well..

Membrane is like Home Improvement’s Wilson. We will never see his face, and that’s part of the gag. The man probably sleeps in his labcoat honestly...

I also find the voice pattern thing a bit of a stretch. Membrane and Zim are just eccentric characters who yell to emote or emphasize a point or emote stronger. And Membrane’s inflections are never the same as Zim’s.

Remember, no other Irken TALKS like Zim. Professor Membrane doesn’t really go around screaming: “I AM PROFESSOR MEMBRANE” either..... 

If anything... it just kinda proves both characters have auditory processing issues or hearing problems more then anything.

And there is a lot of screaming on this show.... Screaming from Dib, screaming from Membrane, Screaming from GIR, screaming from Zim... Screaming is funny... and characters scream so much that the characters with their mouths wide open is somewhat a staple of the show.

This is more because of Johnen Vasquez’s voice direction...

Especially since no other Irken really talks like Zim..

Zim’s manor of Speach is strictly a Zim thing and not an Irken thing.

Professor Membrane’s manner of speech is simply a Membrane thing and not a human thing.

I will give Mattpatt that. That a lot of tech in the show looks similar to Membrane’s. I feel this is mostly a stylistic choice, but it really does fit in with the Irken theory. 

Like that Zim just so happens to use the same operating system as Dib is played off as a joke. But it does add some small credence to the theory here... I need to point out when he does get it right... some pats on the back.

These are very good points and does follow through with what he’s trying to prove by the end of the day.

(even if Membrane was lying about the destruction of all mankind with the beans thing, but that’s a minor nitpick here) 

But his entire paragraph comparing Membrane’s tech to Irken tech is a really good one. Props there.

This whole paragraph about there being only Tall or short irkens cause their society is height based and there are no “medium-sized” irkens....cause they were “dealt with”

Okay.

....

Sure Mattpatt. Let’s just entirely ignore the existence of the Frylord and this entire character even though you mentioned it in the synopsis at the start of your video... Showing that Taller irkens are in positions of power against the shorter, also... Zim is a tiny irken... there are many Irkens that stand taller then Zim.

Being tall in Irken society is a rarity, and Almighty Tallest Purple said that he and Red “became” the Tallest. How? We don’t know, but we do know at one point the current Tallest looked like this:

How do Irkens get that Tall? Body modifications? Maybe... it’s never explained, but considering the Frylord is super big and probably eats a lot of snacks might have something to do with it. We don’t know.

It’s safe to say that being Tall in their society is a rarity and Tallests are either born or made special from the cloning chamber from the get go.

Not to mention, Membrane is Taller than the current Tallest are already...

 and you said earlier in the video that Membrane would have gone to Earth as a child...

When he was no taller than a wrapped Christmas box of socks...

So why would Membrane take refuge on Earth at this point? Mattpatt says that Membrane was sent on a mission to Earth because the Tallest felt threatened by his rule...

BY MEMBRANE’S RULE?!?

HE’S THE SIZE OF A CHRISTMAS BOX OF SOCKS!

What do they have to be threatened by? 

Because... Mattpatt DID bring up Membrane as a child earlier in the video... meaning Membrane came to earth when he was about the same size as Zim.

SO THEY HAD NOTHING TO BE WORRIED ABOUT AND HAD NO EVIDENCE TO BELIEVE MEMBRANE WOULD GROW TO BE TALL ORE EVEN VIEW HIM AS A THREAT

You bunked your own argument. Congradulations.

Membrane conquered the world through his inventions. In a way, sure. Membrane Labs does own a lot of stuff. But he doesn’t own everything. A majority of the Corporations that keep the population stupid usually don’t have anything to do with Membrane Labs and aren’t affiliated at all. 

But this does fit into the “Membrane is an Irken” theory so I will give him that one.

However, Membrane being an evil corporate dictator is a hot take I never really appreciate at all and I can never get behind it.

It hits too close to home in the real world, and I always like to view Membrane as a self-made man and a World loving hippie at his core who just wants to make the world a better place, much like his son, but he actively does something about it. (which can also be why he encourages Dib with real science so much cause he knows Dib wants to save the Earth as much as he does)

Just calling Membrane a capitalist billionaire that doesn’t care about the little guy kinda seems disingenuous towards his character for me. 

Especially when Membrane in “Ten Minutes to Doom” created a machine (foodio) that completely end world hunger... which was in BETA in the unreleased episode...

 but by the time the movie rolls around... Foodio exists... past his BETA, meaning that he’s probably no expensive than a common household microwave and can materialize food from nothing:

Yeah. Membrane completely ended world hunger off-screen. thanks. (something no capitalist would ever do...)

Membrane also does appearances for charity (in the comics), and often takes funding for sponsorships when he is low on funds and he had to find a cure for pig mouth. 

Sure “Membrane conquered the world” fits the Irken theory...

But I never appreciate that take on his character and that is admittedly, very personal bais. 

I just wanted to say my peace a little bit here about how I 100% don’t vibe with the “Membrane capitalist/billionaire scum” especially since he ended world hunger...and invented a cure for the un-common cold.

Works for the theory, so good on Mattpatt for that one, but I personally don’t vibe with it.

Mattpatt compared Zim and Dib’s head shape as something to argue... Like because Dib has a similar head shape to Zim... that Dib has to be an alien... Okay... But If you look at the Invader Zim artbook (which I own)

The show has a very distinct look on how they draw characters’ heads. It’s a very distinct stylistic choice and there are pages upon pages in the artbook describing the style and how it looks in motion, and many revision notes to the Korean animators.

There are lots of pages on the artbook describing in detail the differences between the main characters’ heads, what to do, and what not to do.

It’s a difficult style to replicate, and Dib having a big head was mostly a joke from the showrunners to the showrunners, cause they kept drawing Dib’s head slightly bigger to make him look more appealing.

A majority of the audience doesn’t really notice because all the children in the show have big heads. All the kids are like 3-4 feet tall and have huge heads. 

Also... Dib’s head is far more rounder then Zim’s in the comics and the Movie... comparing their head shape as an arguing point, when Dib’s head shape changed midway season 1 when the designs got slightly more streamlined is just... bad form..

Dib and Zim’s heads never really look the same from the early episodes as they do later on.

Comparing this character design similarity just because of the artstyle is really stupid.

This is the most infuriating thing about the video... because Mattpatt disproves his own argument with his own footage not a few seconds earlier. 

He claims that Gaz sarcastically mentioning she has a squeedly spooch is a canon fact...... but ... hmm.. Mattpatt... can I rewind the footage of your video, please?

Where’s her squeedly spooch?

IS IT BEHIND HER CLEARLY HUMAN ORGANS?! I DON’T SEE IT?

And this isn’t just a stylistic choice... here’s a picture of another human’s organs for comparison.

Mattpatt literally disproved his own argument and ignored the fact that we saw an X-ray of Gaz’s organs in the very same episode...

Gaz doesn’t have a squeedly spooch and she literally was being sarcastic.

and the whole thing is disproved very easily.

Everything Mattpatt says in between those two points, about Dib being taken aboard an alien ship as a baby, and that there is no mother, and the Clone theory... That is all good stuff and this is what the theory video should have speculated and focused on, because there is some digging to be had here... I feel he focused a lot on the wrong points in his video...

And this is the most outrageous point he makes in his video. It’s the thing that pissed me off the most... and lead me to write this essay in the first place.

He claimed Eric Trueheart himself confirmed the clone theory and had story plans where Dib would discover his clone origins.

HE DID NOT!

IN FACT, Eric Trueheart himself published Volume One of the Invader Zim script book AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID:

Eric neither confirmed nor denied the rumor.

But for Mattpatt to blatantly say that Eric said that Clone Dib was a planned thing by the screenwriters?!

He is BLATANTLY putting words into a Screenwriter’s mouth! Something that you should NEVER do.

Because it is 100% a lie.

He had no source for this claim. He probably just read the same rumor on the wiki and has no source.

This is the reason why I don’t trust videos like Mattpatt. The truth is often stretched for entertainment value, or information is just made up to prove “they were right” about whatever the topic of the day was. He doesn’t even bother to cite the source he got “Eric Trueheart’s word of mouth” from... because it was wrong.

Sorry if this whole thing is more hostile than it intended to be... But Mattpatt was looking at the ENTIRELY wrong evidence for this show....

Irken Membrane is a fun theory... but Mattpatt picked the entirely wrong topics and points of discussion, even to the point of hiding the truth and straight-up lying to his audience about his sources.

It’s kinda like saying “Birds eat ghost peppers because they’re part dragon and dragons can handle spicy food”

While, yeah, Birds are descended from dinos, it’s kinda missing the full story there and it’s not the reason why birds can eat spicy food.

Irken Membrane is a fun fan theory... do what you want with it. I am not here to dissuade Irken Membrane headcanons...

I’m just here to encourage critical thinking, and perhaps NOT put words into content creators' mouths when there is no credible source for it just because it benefits your argument.

[cosmiclatte28]

Baseball (Jeno x you)

a/n : the setting is similar to the previous Jeno story (Single), but the plot and the people are different. Don’t get this mixed hahaha

for @neopalette and all Jeno stan out there! Enjoy this semi angst semi fluff friendship to lover Jeno (hopefully to lover, you got to choose)

casts : Jeno, Renjun, Yuta (just a cameo), (y/n)

“Ready for today Capt?” Your teammate nudges your ribcage and you toss a glance to her.

No you're not ready, the final game in winter quads, the final game where your team have strived so hard to reach this point. Your heart is not okay but can you tell that to your team members? No.

With a professional lie, you nod and pat her shoulder “We can do this, we'll try our best!” You smile and turn away.

It's the final round of the regional baseball game, your team has wonderfully played along the winter and this is the last game with the toughest enemy. You know your team doesn’t have a big chance, but seeing them trying their best, you play your part as a captain nicely.

“Good luck!” Yuta, the school's favorite leader of the men baseball team, pats your shoulder when he passes you on his way to watch the game.

“Oh Yuta-senpai.” You bow a little to honor him (using senpai because he came from Japan) and he smiles “(y/n)-chan, you're a great captain okay? Show them what you got!” he ruffles a bit of your hair and if this was last year, you'd melt into a puddle.

No, your heart no longer desires Yuta. He is just too hard to reach, wanting Yuta means fighting with all the girls in this neighborhood.  Yes neighborhood!

Your steps bring you to the familiar field. You wait for your turn while daydreaming. Someone has been bothering your mind lately. Jeno Lee, the school’s favorite athlete who sadly is no longer playing in the games because he shades the other players’ talent. Jeno Lee, your childhood best friend, your neighbor, your eternal bestfriend. He’s been distant lately, with his new hobby. Painting, Jeno Lee doing arts is something you never thought of, but all of this happened since he met Renjun.

Is Jeno not going to cheer on you? He never missed your games, but lately he’s so caught up In the art room with that new talented painter, Huang Renjun.

“It’s your turn (y/n)! You’re our last hope. Please score one to tie, or we’ll lose.” Your team all root for you but you’re caught in a daydream.

“Don’t worry guys, I got this.” You smile at them and walk to the base. Your heart beats faster the second you run your eyes through the audience.

“Fighting (y/n)!!” Jeno screams to you with his painting apron still attached on his uniform as he waves and smiles to you.

Your heart was beating fast because of him, not from the pressure of the game. So, Jeno did not forget you after all-

You spoke too soon, of course Renjun has to be there. There next to him, Renjun comes shouting for you too and rooting for you. Why must it be Renjun and Jeno, why. Out of all your friends, why Jeno and out of all possibilities of snatching Jeno away, why Renjun. It’s annoying how Renjun can talk about painting with Jeno heart to heart. You did not even realize Jeno is fascinated about arts that much! Unlike you who’s like a misfit, they both look like a fitting puzzle piece when they talk about arts.

The whistle is blown, your first strike.

You hold your bat tighter, you never miss a pitch, what’s wrong with you.

“Strike 2!” the referee blows the whistle again.

Jeno shoots you a concern look, but you did not miss the third shot. It’s not the best shot, you could do better but you run. Your emotion is burning your passion to run and run and ignore all the pain chasing you whenever memories with Jeno comes flooding your mind.

It was you who usually make him laugh, it was you who sits on the bench during lunch together. It was you who watched all of his games but now all he has in his schedule is Renjun and Renjun and Renjun!

You pass the first post, your legs still bring you to the second post and without having a clear mind you make your final run. Wouldn’t it be cool to finish with a home run?

“Stop!” your friends screamed at the top of their lungs but your ears are closed.

“Lee Jeno, let me show you who I am.” You grit your teeth as you make a slide to the home base only to bulge your eyes when you see the ball already touched the ground first before your leg did.

“I make our team lose.” Was all that is ringing in your head.

“Ouch that must hurt.” Renjun closes his eyes when he sees the dramatic ending and how you fall on the sledding process.

Jeno gulps, he knows something is not right. You were training for this super hard and he knows you’re the best player. What is bothering you today?

--

“It’s okay, we had great memories. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” One of your teammate consoles you when both of you are walking down the street to go home.

You nod your head “I am sorry for making the team lose.” You bow a little bit to her, she shakes it off

“Don’t worry, people make mistakes.” She smiles, then taps your shoulder “I can go home by myself from here,” she sounds rushed, you try to stop her “Your boyfriend is waiting.” She juts her chin to the dark road ahead of you and you can see a silhouette walking to you. Who could it be? You’re single

She runs quickly to the other path, leaving you alone in the empty street to wait and see the street lamp shining on the man’s face.

“Why are you walking home, your ankle is swollen. Babo-ya” Jeno squats and you’re frozen in track.

“Jump, I’ll carry you home. You did  this once for me in elementary when  I fell and you brought me home while also crying because you’re sorry for me.” He smiles to you sincerely “Let me pay you back.”

You jump into his back, and Jeno takes off your right shoes. “I have ice, hold the cold okay?” he wraps an ice pack to your swollen ankle and your eyes can no longer stay dry.

You cry, cross it out brawl like a baby who just got their candy taken away.

“How did you walk that far in this swollen ankle? You don’t want to play baseball again?” Jeno asks you as he walks down the starry night with a crying mess on his back.

“I lost! The team lost because of me and I am now carried on your back with a swollen ankle crying. I am such a mess Jeno.” You cry harder into his shoulder and he just laughs a little bit “When was the last time I see you cry? Maybe it was that night you carried me on your back because you accidentally pushed me down the monkey bars. I remembered I twisted an ankle too and you carried me home.”

You smile in your crying state, touched that Jeno still remembers what you did to him as a child. And now he is doing this to you, like a payback. Though you sincerely did that for him.

“You were doing great on practice, what’s wrong?” Jeno questions when he hears your sniffling slowing down.

You hit his back “It’s because of you!!”

“Eoh? What did I do?”

You bite your lips and cry again when you remember how happy he and Renjun always look together.

“You forgot me and hang out with Renjun all the time.” You pout knowing you sound so silly right now, but you’re sad.

Jeno chuckles “So, you are jealous?” he hoists you up his back when he feels you’re slipping off.

“I am not.” You deny it though you clearly is jealous.

“Fine. You’re not jealous. If you’re not jealous why did you lose focus earlier and hurt yourself?”

“I- I was distracted.” That is embarrassing.

Jeno smirks “Ah yeah distracted by me and Renjun standing on your side cheering for you.”

You smack his shoulder “Babo, that’s wrong!” “Whatever, are you alone at home again?” Jeno asks when your house is already in sight.

You nod “Yes everyone is away, they’re working hard for me.”

Jeno knows that, he knows your parents are too busy with their careers and you’re left alone in the house. He wonders how you can feel okay with living by yourself. If that is Jeno he’d already beg to join them instead.

“Why are you still here then?” Jeno mindlessly asks as he brings you to his living room and helps you sit on the sofa. He greets his mom, and you also know her like your own mom.

She lets you have your time with Jeno and Jeno returns after a short moment with a first aid kit.

You ask yourself why are you still here? You could’ve joined them and leave this small town, but here you are still seated in the same house of the neighbor you grew up with!

“You ask me why? Well this town has many memories to me Jeno.” You wince when he presses some soothing cream to your ankle

Jeno smiles when you start to ramble about stories of the younger days, embarrassing one like how Jeno and you were caught red handed trying to bring a cat home when both your parents forbid you. Cute memories like how you accidentally kissed Jeno’s cheek when playing around. Touching one like when you carried Jeno all the way back from the park to the home. Annoying one where he teases you when you had your first crush on the school’s prince; Na Jaemin. Everything always include Jeno in your story, or at least the ones you remember by heart.

“We sure do have lots of memories together! Is it me that makes you stay?” Jeno throws this question as a joke, but you think of this seriously. Yes, he is actually the reason why you stay here.

“I guess that is almost true. I stayed for you, my best friend, technically the one who saw me grow up and share memories with me.” You glance to your nicely bandaged foot, he put on some herbal powder there you didn’t know the name, but Jeno is an expert in sports injuries.

“There, tomorrow it’s going to turn blue, but you can use it a little.” He takes a seat next to you.

You watch him takes care of you, for you this is romantic but does he also feel it that way?

“JJa- take care of yourself better next time. Don’t hurt yourself again.” He ruffles your hair, but when you see his eye smile, you suddenly remember the conversation that has been haunting you for the past month.

--

Flashback

Renjun and Jeno were in the art room, talking in low voice as they paint a vase of flowers.

“So, I see you’re very close to (y/n),” Renjun said

Jeno smiles, the same eye smile he always gives whenever he is thinking about you, “I mean figuratively and literally. We’re neighbours.” Jeno glances to the window, it’s almost noon are you done with your practice? His mind wonders.

“Then she really means a lot to you right?” Renjun asks once again.

Jeno pauses and thinks, after a while he shrugs his shoulder “She’s a little sister I should take care of.”

You happen to be eavesdropping them and for once you hate yourself for eavesdropping. You know you should never eavesdrop, now you are the one in pain right?

With that, you leave them and walk home by yourself for the first time.

--

You go back to your house after Jeno’s mom feeds you a proper meal. You meet his sister when she enters the house and you’re leaving. She looks surprised to find you there, it’s been awhile since you visit their house despite being their neighbor.

You just say hi and quickly hide in your room, why? To cry of course. Because of the game, because of Jeno’s sweet actions, and the truth that he sees you up to “friends” only.

You tried to encourage yourself and think that there is a small chance… but the cynic side of you won and you sleep with a wet pillow that night.

But when he picks you up the next day with his bike, and helps you go up the stairs to reach your class then bids you farewell and picks you up for break times…. The flowers In your heart blooms again and the butterflies are filling your stomach.

If this is the feeling of falling in love with Jeno, you’d do this over and over again even if it means pain or it means happy ever after.

end

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Ad Libitum I

Warnings: nonconsensual sex (series, to be warned later on)

This is dark!Loki and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are face with the opportunity of a lifetime, however you might have told a rather big lie to get there.

Note: I promise my other series are still going. I have half chapters I’m chipping away at every day! For now I’ll post the intro to my first Victorian AU.

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

‘For the consideration of one, Mister Everet Ede.

After a close and contented reading of your recent piece ‘The Oyster’s Wealth’ in Cornhill Magazine, I write you to present an offer upon your skills.

Your work does show potential and I believe, as an editor and an author myself, it would benefit both parties should I aid you in refining such talent. While your writing does prove adequate and at times, provoking, there is much a young writer might learn from one as esteemed and experienced as myself.

Under the marquee of my own publication, The Asp’s Tongue, and my name, I would extend to you an offer of residence and should it prove productive, a place upon my list of regular authors. 

It was only two years ago that my journal opted to discontinue our bursary for writers but it is in my own purview, aside from those of my investors, that young minds require honing and it is upon my own coffers that I do make this offer of sponsorship for your development as an author. 

Should you choose to accept, I would expect your arrival upon the first Sunday of June at my estate of Emerald Hills. You will come with all that is required for your education; nibs, ink, paper, et cetera, as well as any personal possessions required for daily existence. Your board will be allotted by manor throughout your residency. Aside from that, you would require only your wit and basic literary competency.

I expect confirmation of your acceptance by the last day of April so that I may have the manor prepared for your arrival. Tardiness in all matters will not be tolerated.

I anticipate a valuable and vibrant professional accord,

Lord Loki Laufeyson, Duke of Wynselm

Founder and Operator of Laufey’s Publishing’

You read the letter once more. The folds of the paper were deep and fragile, the corners curling from your repeated reviews. In the months since its delivery, you had memorised ever curlicue of its script. It was better than any letter of acceptance you’d ever received. The only flaw was the pseudonym across the top. One day, you hoped, it would be your true name that greeted you.

The coach rocked and you caught yourself against the side, jostled atop the hard wooden seat. You shifted in your stiff skirts and peeked out the window. There was still doubt. Still anxiety. You’d accepted the offer without a thought and without much explanation. 

What would the great lord publisher think of you? A woman masquerading as a writer? Well, you hoped that he might overcome the shock and uphold his integrity. It was your work he had read. It was your words which had driven him to write. So why should your sex change the merit of your skill?

There was a sinking feeling in your stomach. It was a slim hope you had, truly. You expected him to laugh you back to your measly London apartment like all the other editors you had ever dared face beyond the stain of your inkwell. Had this all been for not? Another prospect dissolved by that feminine curse?

Besides, even if you were a man, the Duke was infamously misanthropic. It was reported in the papers that he hadn’t left Emerald Hills in several years. That he had grown cynical of society, not so much as submitting a sentence to his very own periodicals. So it was with great surprise that you’d received his letter and with greater hesitation. His reputation was not one of a fond patron but rather a unyielding despot. 

Yet it was an opportunity you did not expect to ever occur again, so you leapt, without thinking, and now your fear bubbled in your chest. To have come all this way and to be told what you’d always been told. To be denied again. In the flesh, you could not be Everet Ede, you could not hide behind your pen. Perhaps his own penchant for artifice might soften his rigid spine.

The manor stood on the highest hill in Wynselm. The gates were locked and a solemn doorman appeared from a small shed to open them. You pulled the curtain shut, afraid you would be found out before even breaking the threshold. The coach rumbled up the winding and steep path and stopped just before the broad stone steps.

You peeked out as the driver stepped down from his perch. You waited a moment, watching the front doors of the manor. It seemed as if the entire place was dead. Abandoned, even. The driver opened your door and offered his hand to help you down. Though his service was the cheapest you could acquire, his manners suggested otherwise.

He unloaded your trunk as you clutched your valise. You thanked him as he set the heavy luggage beside your dark skirts and you offered him a coin from your purse. He accepted with a toothy smile.

“Should I wait and help you carry it in?” He asked.

You considered the offer. It might be best if he tarried in case you were swiftly dismissed. What would you do if you were stranded here? And yet, you were determined not to be turned away. Your best option might be to force your presence upon this man.

“No,” You answered staunchly and pushed your shoulders back. “You’ve been a great help, sir. You should hurry back to the city.”

“Miss,” He removed his hat. “Good day to you.”

“And you,” You nodded and watched him climb back up onto his seat.

He snapped the horse into action and their hooves clopped around and down the path until you could no longer see them. You gripped your valise even tighter and turned to the manor. The doors suddenly shifted and a man in a plain grey suit appeared. He pushed both open and stood aside as he waited silently. 

You heard footsteps from within, the tap of leather sols upon the wood. A lithe figure emerged from the shadows and the sunlight lit his pale skin. His dark hair was pushed back so that his curls gathered behind his head and his high, starched collar made his features seem even sharper. 

He stopped sharply at the top of the stairs and blinked at you. He peered around and squinted, slowly stepping forward to descend the steps. He stood straight across from you, a brow arched as he stared you down.

“Are you lost? I fear you sent away your valet much too soon, madam.” He said.

“My lord, Mr. Laufeyson?” You ventured. 

He frowned. “Everet is a rather odd name for… a woman.”

“My apologies for my deception but you must understand as an editor yourself, a woman’s name doesn’t sell stories, does it?” You let out a shaky breath. “Not that I think it should matter when my physical attributes have little bearing on my writing.”

“Even so, I do value honesty in my writers. Foremost. A lack of such in life might reflect deceit on paper.” He challenged. “And I am not equipped to house… a woman.”

“Women hardly require more than a man. Often less.” You countered. “You made an offer on the grounds of my work, I accepted on the same. I see no reason why it should be an issue. I am determined, would have to be to have a story published, devoted to say the least, and by your own words, a competent writer.”

“I did not… I was not aware…” He sighed. “You can’t expect-- After being so underhanded… How could… I cannot…”

He cleared his throat and glanced over his shoulder at the man in the grey suit.

“I’ve taken two coaches and train. I’ve packed up my livelihood in this trunk, I’ve been nothing but honest other than… my true name. You cannot claim my work as ingenuine nor my intentions. I’ve come here to write.” You declared. “I see not how my sex should preclude me from these matters. Would you argue inadequacy based upon my physical stature after proclaiming me capable previously? Sir, I would argue that should suggest a lack of honesty on your part. Not mine.”

He tilted his head and his chin jutted out in irritation. His slender fingers ran the length of his jacket and fiddled with the button.

“Well, you certainly speak like a writer.” He said. “Very well. We shall see what we can mold out of you.” He gestured to the man in the grey suit. “Horace.” He nodded to the trunk. “But do not think my standards shall bend upon your favour, madam.” He warned as the man came down to lift your trunk, barely able to drag it up the steps. “Oh, and your real name, to begin with.”

You recited your name and he spun without acknowledgement. He preceded the man he called Horace through the doors and you hurried forward to grab the other end of your trunk, your valise clutched in your other hand.

Inside, the large foyer was barely lit by the candelabras in the corners. The chandelier above was dark and dusty. You struggled to keep hold of the trunk as you followed Horace. He set down his end and bid you to do the same.

“Madam, please, I will get proper help,” He waved to the lord of manor, already halfway up the staircase. “You might leave your valise and both will be deposited in your rooms.”

“Thank you, sir,” You said before you turned to hurry up behind Lord Laufeyson.

“Your rooms are in the north wing, mine in the south. You needn’t venture very far from your own. I have a maid in the kitchen who will set out meals and Horace oversees our maintenance and the cleaning servants when they are present.” He began. “You will only be required in the bureau where you will take your lessons.”

“Yes, my lord,” You felt completely out of place. You weren’t used to such an immense house, let alone such a prestigious host. 

“Sir will do just fine,” He corrected. “Do you type, madam?”

“No.” You admitted. “I hand write my stories and they are often transcribed by the journals.”

“Mmm, well, then we should add that to the schedule.” He remarked. “I have written out your daily itinerary as you will find in your rooms. “You will wake at six, take your breakfast by the next hour as you will be expected at seven for your first lesson. Lunch will be at noon, you will be permitted recreation at three, tea the following hour, and we shall add typing practice to your evening exercises.”

“Sir,” You said as you followed him.

“This is the bureau where your lessons will be,” He opened a single door. “That…” He looked to the pair of doors at the end of the hall. “Is the library. It will be unlocked during your recreational hour though you might visit the gardens if you choose.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Did you attend college, madam? I understand they offer schooling for women now.”

“No,” You answered plainly. “I finished public schooling and the rest I did upon my own.”

His eyes strayed in his thoughts and he hummed.

“Well, that sort of discipline is promising, I suppose,” He said. “And you are… unmarried?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, to be expected. A husband shouldn’t allow a wife to live unaccompanied with another man. And yet, an unmarried woman should not allow herself the same discrepancy,” He remanded. “There are proprieties which must be attained. You understand?”

“Sir, I am not wholly unaware of our social bounds. I’ve travelled to write. I haven’t any interest in men to this point and I highly doubt this circumstance should change that.”

He gave a half-chuckle before he caught himself.

“I always found you urban poor had trite mouths,” He sneered. “The factories do allow for unfortunately low association. You lot do sell your morals for a penny.”

“I see no immorality in work,” You argued. “In fact, the poor can rarely afford immorality.”

He looked at you, sternly.

“Let me show you your rooms and you might accommodate yourself to the arrangements,” He gestured you back down the corridor. 

Again, you trailed behind him. The walls were lined with portraits, their frames powdered with dust and canvas washed out with age. He must’ve lived a rather small existence in this immense place. 

He stopped before another door, his fingers wrapped around the handle then he recoiled. He reached into his jacket and slipped out a key with a black ribbon threaded through its loop. He held it out to you.

“These are your rooms. Keep the time. It is late. At four I expect you to take tea in the dining room. The cook should have it upon the table by then.” He watched as you reached to take the key. “When you are finished, our first lesson shall commence in the bureau. Come prepared with a manuscript in hand. I trust you did not come without forethought, especially considering… well, I shall excuse you to acquaint yourself with your quarters.”

He bowed his head, his spine rigid and straight. He sidestepped you and you listened to his hard soles on the wooden floors. You turned as his silhouette disappeared around the sparsely lit corner, the glow of candles flickering along the columns of the rails that overlooked the foyer.

You unlocked the door, your hands unsteady as your nerves remained riled. You’d overcome the first obstacle but this man seemed greater than any challenge you’d known before. Stiff-lipped editors, boastful male writers, dismissive reviewers; you’d faced every kind of foe. 

You shut the door softly behind you, the click made you jump. You were pleasantly surprised to find it the room with the least dust. The windows were open and the curtains were freshly pressed and hung. The bed matched in its tidiness and the roll top desk against the wall was faced with a leather-cushioned chair.

The afternoon sun streamed in enough to light much of the room. Tall candelabras stood on four feet in the corners opposite of the bed. An oil lamp sat on the desk and a smaller candle holder sat on the table beside the bed. A small stool with an embroidered cushion was nestled in the corner and a chair in the French style peered out the far window.

You turned and faced the vast portrait of a man and woman. The former was silver-haired and staunch in his bearing, the woman was seated and gold waves were confined atop her head as a few ringlets framed her face in a style favoured by the previous generations. You tilted your head as you admired the artistry. It was almost as if the elegant couple was truly there before you.

A knock came at the door and you went to it. Horace was there with the man who had opened the gates. They dragged in your trunk and placed your valise at top with overly cordial ‘my lady’s’ in your direction. You wanted to snicker at the undeserved address. You thanked them and they refused a coin from your purse. You were thankful for that as you hadn’t many left.

You took your valise to the bed then returned to the trunk. You unbuckled the straps that held your trunk closed and tossed the lid open. The monstrosity was older than you. You’d bought it used. The lining was torn and most of it gone. You took out the stacks of paper sheathed in leather and rolled up the lid of the desk. You left them there and unpacked your pens and inkwell.

You sat and allowed yourself a breath. You tried to calm yourself. You slowly unwound the strap of the first folder and shuffled through the leaves. There was the story you’d written about the widow left homeless by her dead husband’s gambling debts. The other about the officer who finds himself by a foreign people. 

Then there was that one which you had yet to show any. The one which told the story of a woman; a fraud; a liar. She pretends to be a true lady but is found out. She is tried before the county though she never stole nor harmed anyone. Tried upon her birth and nothing more. You tucked that one away and set aside the one about the widow. Nothing so novel but good enough, you supposed.

You reached to your belt and checked the watch that dangled from it. Like the trunk, it was previously owned by another. It made you want to write a story, a fantasy of its former owner. Of how the initials etched into its back had come to be near indiscernible beneath a series of frantic scratches.

3:37. You recalled Lord Laufeyson had said tea was at four. Not much longer. Barely enough time to ready yourself for his frigidity. Oh yes, he was the very modicum of Victorian temperance. How very dull.

[elencelebrindal]

Time to ramble about Shun

Sooo... you said you wanted my rambling to become reality. Here I go. 

Shun not holding back for the whole series would have been a disaster for our dear villains, let me tell you.  But let’s go in order. And I mean, from training to Hades. Obviously, this completely disregards the fact that Shun was Hades the whole time, because if I am to take that into consideration everything would end before starting.  Small disclaimer, this is mostly anime-based. I’ve read the manga, but my memory is so bad in remembering what was just manga and what was just anime, and I have a better memory for the anime.  Also, this is going to praise Shun a lot. No, not because of my undying love for this character, but because logically speaking, he’s freaking powerful; this young man stood against a god that was possessing his body, dammit. 

Now, his training.  Of course, I won’t even imagine Shun actually going to Death Queen Island, mostly because it was Ikki, and not him, the reason why he went to Andromeda Island instead.  What we know, is that Shun nearly awakened his Seventh Sense there and then, when he donned the Cloth for the first time. And we know that he won the right to the trial after winning a fight against his “rival”.  But, before winning, he took a good beating, because he held back.  What would have happened, in the eventuality that Shun did not hold back? Well, probably just quicker access to the trial for the Cloth, but also... this might be the only time Shun not holding back would have affected him negatively.  What if he, by not holding back, lost his right to the Cloth? Andromeda is famous for her sacrifice, after all, not for her brave charging into battle.  This is mostly my own idea about it, because of course Shun was destined to become the Andromeda Saint, but luckily he held back, and only fought when he needed to. 

That aside, now it’s time to tackle all the positive things that could have happened had he not held back. 

Galaxian Wars / Black Saints Arc (forgive me, I forgot the actual name)

We had a taste of how smart and capable Shun is during his fight against Jabu, but all of that was thrown away thanks to Ikki’s appearance. Now, this doesn’t mean than Shun completely lost his competence, but he definitely held back for the sake of his brother.  This is obvious when we take into account the fight they all have against Ikki, when Shun tries to help his brother rather than stop him.  We already saw how dangerous Shun can be, when he faced Black Andromeda, so it’s easy to understand how much easier it could have been for the Bronze to stop Ikki if Shun was there to actively help against him.  Sure, he helped in the end, but he was probably the only one (at least at that point, because remember, he was the only one to have almost awakened the Seventh Sense) capable to stand his ground against Ikki.  Seiya’s success was more plot than skills, honestly speaking.  Shun could have been infinitely helpful, at least in making sure they earned a faster victory with less blood spilled.  To me, what we know about Shun’s power (though it’s only revealed later) makes it that he has a huge advantage that is ignored because of 1. Shun’s personality and 2. what’s needed for the plot and what was known of the plot. You all know he’s my favorite Bronze, at this point, but following a logical reasoning I cannot find something against this. 

On a side note, can you imagine how fast he would have destroyed Black Swan, if only he used his brain and not his heart?  Considering the outcome of his fight against Black Andromeda, and his knowledge about Hyoga’s techniques (which are kinda imitated by Black Swan), it’s not difficult to imagine he would have won.  He wouldn’t have done as good against all of them together, at this point of the story, but a one vs one fight would have definitely seem him victorious. 

Silver Saints Arc

I have no clear memory if that Docrates mess is in this arc or the one before it (the Italian division is a bit different and it confuses the hell out of me when I have to switch), but let’s put him here.  Because come on.  Shun getting thrown around like a doll? Yeah, no. Docrates might be a powerful - and not so brilliant or likable - warrior, but to the point of overwhelming a Saint like Shun with so much ease? I hardly believe it. I can  believe Shun having a hard time against him, especially considering how they won that fight.  Full power, I think Shun could have helped way more. I’m not saying he could have defeated a beat like Docrates all by himself, not at that point. Hyoga’s help was crucial for him to actually deal an effective blow.  But I’m pretty convinced they could have had a bit of a better time - especially Saori - because power makes the difference, even if it’s not enough to turn the tide without aid. 

Continuing with the same arc, we have another example of Shun being extremely competent and showing how strong he is when he doesn’t hold back.  How long did it take him to completely obliterate a Silver Saint? Not even enough to appreciate how badass he was.  It didn’t seem forced at all, more importantly! Most times, especially with Seiya, their victories seem so... well, convenient that it’s hard to believe they’re actually strong enough to beat their enemies. The plot armor around them is stronger than their actual armor, from time to time. This fight against Dante, instead, felt completely genuine. Shun and Ikki beating so easily two Silver Saints seemed incredibly normal and realistic, rather than feeling forced by the plot.  Of course, all the other characters have their genuine moments (yes, even Seiya), but I wanted to point this out for Shun in this particular instance because it’s necessary to understand how underrated he is. 

Sanctuary Arc

Moving on, we have what I like to call “Shun could have choked Saga to death and ended the entire Sanctuary Arc in less than five episodes”. Listen, does it seem so unreasonable? If it does, remember how Shun (with Ikki’s help, this is not something I’m ignoring, I like Shun but I don’t play dirty here) used his chain to break free of the Other Dimension (a place that’s supposedly impossible to leave? Hello????) and literally reached Saga where he was sitting.  What the hell, are we just ignoring the fact that he legitimately broke into the throne room of the most protected place of the entire Sanctuary, stole Saga’s cheap-looking trinkets, and shattered his control over him? For god’s sake, I’m SURE he could have at least managed to try and kill Saga where he was.  I’m aware he had no idea what the hell was going on, but had he used a bit more of his cosmo? A bit more of his concentration and intelligence? To me, it seems really weird that he only properly awakened his Seventh Sense so late in the arc. If Seiya was able to screw the plot over and get his precious Seventh Sense so early and easily, why wasn’t Shun given the same opportunity? Well, I know why, plot and everything, Shun’s actual power was still very much a mystery, but I’m going chronologically, and by logic. And what logic tells me is: Shun should have awakened his goddamn Seventh Sense there, realized he was stealing costume jewelry from the Pope, and at least knocked him out for the next couple hours.  For as much as i like joking about it, I know Saga is smarter and stronger than the average guy, Shun wasn’t going to be able to strangle him with the chain. But a good old pointy cosmo-powered chain to the forehead, well... come on. Would have been hilarious, other than useful. 

For the rest, the arc was pretty amazing.  His sacrifice for Hyoga? Yeah, he wasn’t holding back there.  And the fight against Aphrodite we all know how incredible it was.

Something I’m going to point out is how much Shun held back against Leda and Spica. That was all his personality, but he was able to defeat both of them in a couple seconds as soon as he used his true power.  I don’t really want to count that as holding back, but I have to. Because he was keeping his strength low, and it counts.  That was a time loss that could have been avoided. 

Asgard Arc

Now this, this makes me mad.  As soon as Shun leaves canon territory, it gets turned into this weak warrior with no desire to fight.  Either that, or he gets to fight but accomplishes little.  And this is exactly what happened in this arc. 

By now, we know how lethal Shun can be, and we know he awakened his Seventh Sense. It’s not theory anymore, it’s not fan wishes anymore, it’s Shun with one more sense to deal with.  And what happens? They give him the fight against the only enemy his goddamn chain doesn’t want to hit. Of course he gets that, and that his - actually beautiful - personality refuses to fight and instead insists on diplomacy.  Now, I loved that. I love how Shun tries to find a peaceful way around the war. But, once again, this is not the point of my rambling.  The point of my rambling is: Shun shouldn’t have needed Ikki to come and save the day.  Let’s take away Mime’s tragic backstory for a second, and let’s put Shun in the “classic” mind of a Saint; fight the enemy to the death, or die trying.  Shun would have won without any help. Sure, Mime is powerful, but Shun is as well. And we know that Shun is capable of facing enemies that use music as a weapon (as we learn later, in the Poseidon Arc).  Also, I’m pretty positive he has control over his chain, is not like the chain is going to ignore him like that. That weapon has a mind of its own, that’s true, but seriously speaking Shun has to be able to control it more than the chain controls itself.  That, and Shun himself refused to recognize Mime as an enemy.  Without holding back, Shun would have seen him as a proper enemy, and fought with no chain deciding “oh no no no, this is a friend!” like an overly friendly puppy.  Wrongfully, maybe, because as we learned Mime was, in fact, not a real enemy, but that’s not the point. 

Syd doesn’t really count. Shun was actually standing his ground against him, and incredibly well.  The reason Shun didn’t win right there and there was not him holding back, but the plot advancing and throwing Bud at him.  I don’t know how high I should hold this opinion, though, because to me it seems a bit weird that Bud is so powerful/stealthy that no one realizes he’s there. I’ve been skeptical about him, especially considering how he incapacitated freaking Aldebaran, but it is still a good reason for Shun not having won the fight.  Stealth can be more effective than raw power, sometimes.  Though, I believe Shun (and Aldebaran, for what it counts) should have been able to sense him. What, they’re going to show us the Saints can sense any kind of cosmo approaching them or far from them, but not realize that there’s someone right behind them ready to strike? Eh, it’s bizarre. 

Poseidon Arc

Right off the bat, he got his moment to shine against Io.  THAT, my friends, was incredible, and if Shun didn’t hold back - because he did, to avoid killing him, bless his merciful soul - Io would have died pretty easily.  Shun claimed his rights as Gold Saint, there, didn’t use all his power, and still beat the everloving soul out of him. 

Also, the fight against Sorrento? Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.  I literally have nothing to say, he had a reason to hold back there, and I will not give him a forced victory. Sorrento was on his level, and even though I think the Nebula Storm would have killed him (remember, that technique keeps getting more and more powerful the longer it’s used), they were pretty equal.  Shun didn’t hold back, save for when he understood what the hell was going on and got an ally. 

What I didn’t like, however, was how harshly he was treated when Poseidon was the threat. Damn, I’m not saying he should have been able to face a god, not without a Gold Cloth and not alone, but jeez, he ended up being completely ignored.  Like “wait, I’ll help!”, and then poof. Disappeared.  But in this instance, not holding back wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Unless you want to be 100% full of logic, and use the fact that Shun was already a vessel for a god, there’s no viable excuses for him to be able to fight a god on his own.  Not at that point in time, and not in his conditions.  Things work only if they can work. 

Hades Chapter

I don’t have much to say here.  Shun was incredible, he fought without holding back for almost the entire series, and showed an almost merciless side. A good handful of that behavior was Hades, if we go by how Shun was portrayed beforehand, but I like to believe he finally got his time to shine and acted competent again.  After hall, he had his angry moments back in the classic, they were no different from this chapter. 

What I will say, however, is how they diminished him in Elysium.  Because let’s face it: a Saint that not only survived one of the most powerful gods ever possessing him, but also tricked and held him back, had every single right to be powerful enough while wearing a God Cloth to obliterate Hypnos from the face of Elysium.  How are you telling me to believe that the same person that defeated the god of the Underworld just... fell asleep against a minor deity? He was the first to get his God Cloth without the plot aiding him (yes, I’m still salty about Seiya), yet he did nothing, and got defeated by Hypnos like he was a weak little boy.  I understand he’s a god, but Hades was worse! I’ll tell you what would have happened. Shun would have sent Hypnos’ sorry ass back in the void he deserved to be in (I actually like Hypnos okay, Shun doesn’t) without batting an eye.  Surely someone that was able to withstand Hades’ power - and overwhelmed it, even if for a short time - could resist some minor god’s power. 

To conclude, on the same not, Shun should have definitely punched Hades in the face.  He was probably the only one strong enough to do so, aside from Athena. And probably the one with the right to do so, also. 

This is probablt the stupidest rambling I’ve ever wrote on this blog, but I regret nothing. 

[roseyful]

Mars Red: Edge of the Nightmare - Review

Now, my Tumblr has been a bit quiet lately (been queuing a lot of things so then it wasn’t too quiet during my absence), but it has been for a good reason; last month I was approached [on my private twitter account] and asked if I would be able to playtest a game and write a review, and of course, being someone that enjoys games, especially those that follow an otome style, I had to say YES.

So its proud to say that after a while of playing the game, I finally get to write this review.

Now before I get into the game itself, I would like to take the moment to give appreciation to the team for being so helpful during my time of playtesting the game and before that, as not only would they let us know when there was an issue and the date had to be pushed back, they were so polite and helpful whenever I would run into a problem. That’s something you’d want to see in a gaming company and I’m so glad that my first experience with this company is one with positive results. I personally found no issues with the team themselves, and I do hope they keep this up after the release. Thank you favary for being so lovely and patient with me, and other beta testers.

Mars Red: Edge of The Nightmare was the game that they asked for me to play, however when I originally looked at their website, I couldn’t help but notice that the concept was originally one of a ‘Sound Theatre’, and while I couldn’t figure out what that was, I eventually was lead down a rabbit hole and ended up looking at the other things that Bun-O Fujisawa has worked in. Very interesting stuff, just like the game. However, it’s best to look at his other stuff in your own time.

Please note: I will be keeping this spoiler-free for the sake of letting people go in with no idea of what’s going on besides what I mention and on the website.

Story

The game is set in the early twentieth century in Japan, or better known as the Taisho, in which the website also says ‘[is] influenced by Romanticism’, in which vampires rule the night, as they could only feed off blood and those that stepped into the sun would surely die. Keen senses, incredible physical abilities, and yet they were still vulnerable. You see that very early on with the main character that we play as; Yutsufusa Yuki, a vampire whom became one against his will.

I will be honest, I did not like Yutsufusa when I first started playing, as I felt like he was a bit too willing to die, but that is something that you can overlook when you get further into the story. Yutsufusa is obviously one of the youngest in the group, due to the fact he wears the more ‘modern’ [at the time] clothing out of everyone, well, there is someone else who wears similar clothing but he’s human.

You control Yutsufusa throughout the game, influencing his voices and living his life through his eyes, him acting as the reader insert as you learn about the other characters and begin to grow a bond with them. While the story is a bit slow at first, it does start picking up around the middle-end of chapter 1 and the beginning of chapter 2 after you play the prologue, as you begin to assist “Code Zero” in their work to rid the world of vampires that wish to feast on humans..

Be mindful that there is an anime, however, Yutsufusa does not appear in it, as it focuses on the other main characters, so if you have watched the anime already be sure to remember that they’re either two separate timelines or different points in time. I do not want to confuse anyone with this.

The main cast is quite an interesting bunch, as it covers a wide range of personalities, and sometimes even time periods as you play through the game and unlock things; you might say you might learn a bit of history from it if you end up looking up some of the references I’ve found in the game. This is a great reflection on the idea of ‘immortality, and even has moments where said immortality leans into a few jokes (such as knowledge of birds).

If you’ve played games such as ‘Ikemen Revolution’, you may be familiar with the ticket system. Every day you’re allowed a certain amount of tickets to progress through the story, however, if you run out of tickets and you must read more, then you’re able to progress the story via using ‘amber’, the game’s currency that you can use for different functions. However, this is not needed, as every day your tickets will be replenished. I personally found myself not even needing to use my amber, as I would always wait for the next day. There are mini-stories that you can get if you finish a chapter within a certain amount of time, but I personally don’t find them to progress the story a lot after I read the first one I got. Then again I had other things to occupy my time while I wanted as well. If you wish to reread chapters, you get a bonus third option of currency; coins. Coins can be used to reread chapters in the place of amber or tickets, which means that you can grind out coins via the exploration option in order to see more options (looked at a bit later).

I personally found the story to be engaging, between the use of minigames (or investigations, covered a bit later), it broke up the reading with fun activities that progressed the story.

Is the game an Otome?

No! I was shocked as well when I saw the all-male cast since I was wondering if I was playing a boys love game, but in the end, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that this is actually a detective game. While it may carry the usual look of an otome, with the story and choices of how you speak influencing the endings of chapters, the game more feels like one of finding new friends and solving kick-ass investigations than finding romance. It’s refreshing.

This is especially true between the minigames in which helps influence the story that is all very unique in their own way and do not seem repetitive once you get into the flow of how they work.

Minigames

The minigames come forward in two forms; investigation, interrogation, and infer. Investigation sounds exactly how you’d expect, as you have to poke around and look at things, which you can review in a little notebook that sits in the top right of your screen in the case you need to review what you’ve looked at. When I was first launched into this section for the first time, I had a little trouble remembering exactly what I needed to look at (as I was given a set of things to tap), however, I do have to thank the team for thinking ahead and adding the option to be able to watch ads in order to see what you need to do. This was one of the two times I’d have to watch ads, as they don’t shove them in your face every few seconds like most mobile games do which is rather nice. Sometimes you gain information or items that you have to use later, so it’s a good idea to keep track of what you look at.

Interrogation acts as a question-based information gathering, in which you talk to NPCs in order to gather information to use in the investigation. Like Investigation, these points are put into your notebook for later.

Infer takes the first two investigation segments and combines the information, as you now get interrogated by one of the main characters, and you must respond back with the proper information in order to make sure that this segment is successful. You are able to read back on the notes from the other segments at this point by pressing the button with the book icon in the upper right corner, as this aids you in selecting the right answers. When I first came to this section, I did feel under pressure due to it, but it was interesting to see the negative answers from the character if I got it wrong.

Exploration is another part of the game, that while outside the story, there are parts that require a certain amount of story points in order to clear ‘point blocks’. This is where you get the coins from and frankly is good to use once you have finished using all your tickets for the day and want to use the rest of the time to grind coins. During the exploration, you set up 2 characters, a place, and a set [in real life] time of how long you want them to be out and about. Depending on the number of points earned, you may earn something called a ‘mummer’, which reveals more about the characters you chose to send out, and even get dialogue of the characters interactions (which can be pretty funny in itself) that shows the dynamic of the two characters- are they friends? Are things tense? You get to learn more by sending them out together.

Artstyle

As an artist, I was incredibly pleased with the art of the game, as the characters do not look the game, there are different body types and ages (from teen to elder), you never had to look at the same face twice for two characters. I will be honest, I do wish the characters were a bit more ‘animated’ with their expressions (such as body movement when they’re feeling certain emotions), however other than that, the sprites are magnificent.

The backgrounds are also really interesting to look at and even tell so much story before you even start investigating within the investigation sections. The design team also needs props, because while a few characters are wearing similar outfits, they’re all wearing them in different ways which shows their character and even the way they probably fight. Though I will say I am a bit biased towards Takeuchi, then again, I really enjoy fun and loud characters in general, and his hair is interesting in a sea of mostly black, purple, silver or blonde hair. Maybe will make a fanart of him in the future if I learn to draw his eyepiece. (on that note, please release the full sprites for us artists to reference, we’d love you eternally for it haha).

Oh no, it’s a-

Yes, its a bit of a gacha game, however, you do not need to actually play the gachas in order to progress through the game; it mostly just unlocks bits of story for those that want to have extra stories, or just want that extra dose of dopamine (haha, me). As someone who plays gacha games ever since they turned 13, I was glad that this game isn’t actually gacha centric, and thus is very free-to-play friendly due to this.

Who would I recommend this for and would I recommend it myself?

Personally, I think this is a game that suits the niche of those that enjoy a good mystery and even play those ‘find an item’ games, mixed in with those that enjoy reading otomes and history. Maybe even someone that enjoys theatre since there’s a character that does theatre. Would I personally recommend it? Yes, I would. The game is very interesting and engaging, the staff behind the game are so lovely.

Once more, here’s the game’s website link ❤️: https://marsred-game.net/en/

[emerald-eyes-8917]

Regarding Dan Avidan and the conceit of parasocial relationships...

After sitting down and talking to myself and the blank wall earlier today, I came to some conclusions and would like to share them here:-

1. What happened in the last few days was a pile-on based on someone’s knee jerk reaction and has unfortunately spread like a minor wildfire.  Thankfully, it has not become an inferno with the Twitter user apologising and stamping out the flames, but they continue to be fanned by people who may be coming across the situation second-hand.

2. What was also clear is that there was misleading information that added elements to the story that were not true, i.e. the birthday message that was presumed to be from Dan to the fan.

- The Reddit user who posted the thread has admitted in a text conversation with another user that the message was not from Dan, and was instead a timeline aid to establish the fan’s age.  It may not have been used to apportion blame initially, but it grew into a damning element of the story, that Dan was priming the fan for more intimate contact later on.

3. There are no corresponding messages between Dan and the fan in the intervening four years between the friendly creator/fan interaction and the hot-tub video exchange where they became intimate.  If I have missed this part of the story, I apologise, but from the original post, the gap is illustrated by the phrase ‘Years pass by’ or something to that effect.

4. The fan at the centre of this story has said outright in a thread that Dan was not grooming her, nor did she feel that he was manipulating her.  Listen to victims, I hear you cry.  Let us listen to this one and believe her rather than rake Dan over the coals for being ‘gross’ or a ‘scumbag’.

5. The phrase ‘abuse of power’ has been coined to describe this entire affair by people on Twitter who feel VERY strongly about it. While it can happen with any degree of possibility, especially if someone is a CEO or a politician, it is disenfranchising the lady who made her own choices and that there were two people in that relationship, or what you will.  Whether it is him as a musician or him as a Let’s Player is not clear, but this also coincides with the aspects of parasocial relationships which I will discuss more below.

6. Morality and legality have had a complex interplay the last few days.  Was what Dan did illegal?  No, it wasn’t, since the first interaction was a friendly neutral greeting, the birthday message was not from him and she was 22 when the intimate contact occurred.  

Was it right to do to someone?  No, but on the scale of crimes in this world, it is more an emotionally bad thing to do.  Yes, it is surely painful for anyone who was ghosted and it does lower him to being a human man who made stupid mistakes, but it is a private matter and should not be aired out like dirty laundry in the court of public opinion.

Dan Avidan does not make policy that causes harm.  We saw what an abuse of power is and it was in the presidency of the former US president.  Abuses of power can happen in a vacuum, and I would prefer to hear from experts who deal with victims of coercive control and domestic violence rather than those who feel morally outraged.

Final thoughts:-

Parasocial relationships have become quite risky in these times we live in.

We are in perpetually online spaces due to the pandemic, and as such, are more free with what we say and share online, especially in community space like the Game Grumps fandom.

Not only are internet celebrities revered and looked up to, but there is a large number of fans who believe that they are their friends for the sole reason of watching their videos every day and hanging out.

I am guilty of imagining what it would be like to hang out at the Game Grumps office, or joining my favourite singer onstage, or writing a drama show with actors I love.  But it was in my imagination and in my own inner life.

I believe that the community must step up and pledge to assist those who may be vulnerable and become emotionally attached to any internet celebrities, whether for coping with mental health issues, aspiring to be animators or musicians, or even for romantic fantasy.

The community must point them in the direction of resources that can help them, support them and make them realise that while you can be a fan of someone, love what they do, they do not owe you friendship nor do you owe them your complete devotion.

It is time to lower the pedestals.  Hold people in esteem, but remember that they are humans.

I am an old fandom soul, and I have had my heart broken with bands breaking up, television shows ending, with couples that I shipped not getting together and finding out that people I revered have made stupid mistakes.

It is time to stop jumping to conclusions without proper reading of the facts.

It is time to set aside purity culture and being outraged and throwing around terms without their proper meaning.

It is time to do better, to be better and to be kinder to everyone.

If you want to unfollow me or call me an apologist, so be it.  

Last year, I was lonely, frightened and grieving the loss of my pet when a similar situation cropped up and I dealt with it all on my own.  I have just enough strength to get this down, to speak my mind and open myself up for being attacked.

We have to do better.

[agl03]

Finale Predictions

Well guys, it's been quite the ride and here we are ready for the finale.   First and foremost I have to thank you all for sticking with me over the years.  Sending the asks, supporting the theories, dealing with my sometimes crazy metas and predictions, that sometimes hit and sometimes didn’t. And trusting me to be the Fandom Mom. 

As is now an annual tradition I’m putting up my post of Finale Predictions before going dark until after the finale airs.  This is for fun as I always like to see how well I did.    Please no pitchforks if I am wrong on any of these.

So here we go:

Everyone’s favorite villains, Nathaniel, Kora, and SIBYL will all make it to the finale while Garrett will be killed or locked up by the end of the first hour (and it will use some of Fitz’s tech).

SIBYL will eventually get herself a new body.

Nathaniel will turn on Kora and try to take her powers and/or kill her.

Kora has already turned on him and he/we just don’t know it yet.  Either betrays him and helps her sister or tries to kill him herself in revenge for her mother.  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  

Daisy will be the one to end Nathaniel and it will be oh so satisfying giant fight scene….even if we have to wait until the second hour for it.  Bonus points if Sousa get a hit in first too

Coulson, May, and Elena are able to get to space thanks to Coulson’s new computer Genius Super Power OR Garrett is ordered to bring them so they can lord their victory over them all.

Even though they have pretty much ended Shield and Hydra in the “hot mess” timeline SIBYL and Nathaniel set their sites on the OG Timeline and/or Fitz once they realize he has come into the mix and ruins their plans in the hot mess timeline..   As they are both aware he is the one who ends their little party.

The Chronicoms will not all be super thrilled with what SIBYL has been up too or her methods.   This could be another thing that drives SIBYL into the OG Timeline.   

The battle between SIBYL and Coulson seems to have gotten a bit more personal so my money is on Coulson being the one to take her down.   Close second goes to May and Fitzsimmons. 

Diana didn’t only block Memories of Fitz it took out the memories of people associated with him.  IE she is not going to remember her friends or Deke.

Deke will earn her trust quickly and be an A+ overprotective grandson of his Nana as they are rescued and get back to the team.

The team will rescue Deke and Jemma, take out a few Chronicoms, and Independence Day their way out of there.

While it won’t be the romantic Philinda some fans want we will see some quality Philinda banter over the finale as it seems they’ve settled into a good place between the two.   Coulson has also passed the torch of “team parent” onto her.

Philinda will not end as a couple.

At some point Sousa is really going to question what is going on and his life choices.  AKA He looks around stunned at what is going on.

More quality Dousy flirting and banter….they will kiss again and I do see them being a couple when things end.

Fitzsimmons family feels just a lot of them over the whole finale.  Iain and Elizabeth are going to murder us with feels.  I mean Fitz with his little girl.  I shall perish.

Despite not knowing everyone Jemma is going to be super insistent on building or activating a device (that has been stashed on the Zephyr) that she doesn’t know what it does but just knows she needs to build and activate it.  She will be the only one who can activate it and possibly it will take something very personal of hers to turn it on.  IE how she was hiding Fitz’s ring/necklace in Season 6 she might have the key hiding again.  But lets all freak out that Jemma will literally be the key to getting Fitz.

We won’t see Fitz until near the end of 12 if he is not the cliffhanger.  

That Bar place in the promo pics is either Keonig’s Bar or the Playground of the hot mess Timeline.  Seems to be some sort of secret Shield Base or what is left of them after the big attack as there are some random Shield agents milling/wth/who are these people in the background.  We know The Playground was off the books in the OG Timeline and would make sense it was also in the Hot mess.

Jemma will have her memory resorted relatively quickly after Fitz Kool Aid Man’s in all Star Lord from the portal thing Jemma activates.  And it’ll be the freaking power of her love for Fitz/her Family that overloads her (Gimme my Framework fix here).  Or Fitzsimmons have a fail safe password.  BUT GIMME TRUE LOVE.

CUE THE SECRET CHILD REVEAL!!!!!!!!!!   Yes, I will be screaming.  The team will be stunned.

I’m sticking to my theory that they will give their daughter a “celestial” or astronomical name to pay off “One of these days we’ll find something magnificent out in space,” thing from Season 3 (especially if she was conceived on the way back from Kitson).  Or a name that is very reflective of their Scottish/English roots.  

Everyone needs to hold onto their hats because once Jemma has her memories back it will be because they are gonna want to get home to their Little Girl like yesterday and have one hell of a plan that involves saving the world and taking care of Nathaniel, SIBYL, and the Season 6 Finale attack on the Lighthouse.

This is likely where a ton of the Flashbacks come in.

Where has Fitz been?  He’s been back in our OG Timeline.  The finale confirmation for me came last week when Nathaniel revealed that SIBYL’s time stream couldn’t see him….or their daughter, and that thing sees EVERYTHING in the HOT MESS Timeline.  This would also be why Jemma’s messages didn’t reach him, she couldn’t get them to cross into the OG Timeline and this was something she would have known but Diana blocked as part of hiding where Fitz was.

How has Fitz been watching the Chronicoms?  Insert incredibly complicated timey whimy thing the writers came up with that me and my Marketing degree can not fathom so just go with it okay, via the using the Framework in the OG Timeline to get into the Chronicom’s system.  Little pay back for what SIBYL has been doing in the Hot Mess Timeline.  Him being connected to the Framework explains why he was so exposed.  Because when someone is hooked up to that thing they can get their heads cut off and not know it.

Now reunited and having dropped the baby announcement Fitzsimmons will present the plan for the “Final Mission” the team must embark on to save the world….again.   

And oh baby is it complicated.  

Part of said plan will have them back at the Lighthouse during the Chronicom attack.

The dudes that showed up with Jemma at the Temple will be explained.  IE I think its some of the team and they cleared out of the Zephyr before the time travel party got started.  They also may have grabbed other hunks of the monoliths.

The fight will take place in both the Hot Mess and OG Timelines  

We have not seen the last of the Monoliths.  The fact we are jumping timelines and have Flint in the mix over in the OG timeline makes me think they are gonna need Mr. Swirly’s help in doing said jumping (Mr. Swirly is the Grey Monolith).  Or they really go with the OG and its Harold (Black Space one) that allows for it.  Kind of fitting the Monolith that tore Fitzsimmons apart is now the one that reunites them.  

We will for sure see Enoch (via Flashback), Davis (please not by Flashback #davislivesagain), Piper and Flint as returning Favorites.   

If they have Davis back to life I just gesture exhaustedly at the Monoliths again.  Not even gonna try to explain it.

Small chance we run into the Hot Mess’s Timeline Enoch but he will have no relationship or connection to the team and will make me cry.  

Top Picks for SURPRISE not on the Press Release faces to pop up if we get them:   Ward (I mean really how have we not seen him again yet), Mace, Robbie, Bobbi, Hunter, Koenig (any of them) and Mike.    REALLY WANT IT BUT WON”T GET IT!   Dadcliffe

Who was keeping Fitzsimmons Daughter safe:  

Top Pick:  Piper and Flint:  Given Fitzsimmons would have run into them picking up the Zephyr and they could have been the “we had help” they talked about.

Second Place Because I Badly want him back:  Uncle Enoch 2.0

Left Field Surprise Option:  Huntingbird

LOLA RETURNS

We will get a lot of really fun callbacks to past stories or even lines IE “I’m just the Pilot” For May.

“What We Are Fighting For”:  Family.  The team family….and the Fitzsimmons family.  Also they will have gone 13/13 in that someone will say the titles name at some point in the episode.

We will see old weapons and tech from previous seasons make one last appearance, we’ve seen 2 so far in promos and will see more.

Shotgun Axe gets a proper send off in battle (this one is for Kiddo 3)

Bear will deliver the most amazing soundtrack that we’ll never get to buy.

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story (Sorry Couldn’t Resist)

Nathaniel:  Dies, and we will all cheer.

SIBYL:  Dies, and we will all cheer.

Garrett:  Dies or locked up, won’t make it to the second hour.

Kora:  Toss a coin.  If she dies she killed for trying to take down Nathaniel.  If in her betrayal of Nathaniel she helps Daisy get Jemma and Deke back that could be a good starting place for the sisters to work thing out.   Starting place, she has a long way to go to get in good with Daisy and setting up an 11th hour redemption arc.

Mack:  Still so nervous for him based on how he has been in interviews, especially the SDCC ones last year.  He was so clearly upset by it.  So Mack either falls or does something so out of character (Bails before the finale battle which just is not making sense to me Mack is in such a good place right now) for Mack that Henry was upset by it.  Essentially I am very confused because what I am seeing on screen now isn’t matching with how Henry was talking as Mack has really come around since his Endgame stage.

Elena:   Easily lives.  If Mack doesn’t die, wherever he lands she’ll be with him.  They’ve been a steady ship all season and I see no reason for them to break up outside of death.  And while I have a mountain of concerns for Mack, I have none for Elena..   I also see her still being a presence within Shield, she’s become a good solid agent, and bonus points if she keeps Flint with her….and he gets all the tacos he wants.  

Sousa:   Totally lives (they might give us a good fake out though because he and Daisy are becoming a thing)I can still see him being Director of Shield if Mack falls or steps down.   He’s a good Agent in a new time but he said he is right where he is supposed to be, at Daisy’s side.  Where she goes he goes.  IE he’s not letting her get away and will always be there after she runs into a wall.  So if Daisy leaves Shield, so will he.  If she stays so will he.  If she opens a coffee bar he’ll learn to make an espresso.   

Daisy:   Totally Lives, but there will be something about her ending that some fans won’t like and some fans are going to love.   Staying with Shield or no whatever she does will involve Inhumans be it the Secret Warriors are up and running again, she is mentoring and training new Inhumans coming into Shield, or my favorite option still is she reopens Afterlife.  I’ve been feeling that option for most of the Season and feel like it was really set up with Jaiying as was Daisy looking out for her little sister should the chips fall the right way.     The SS Dousy will be sailing right along.  IF Kora survives I can see her being in Afterlife as well, Daisy taking her mother’s passion that Kora has a good heart to heart herself.  

Deke:   Okay this one is weird because I feel like we are going to lose him somehow, but he won’t die.  I didn’t get the vibe from Jeff, Elizabeth, or Iain that he died and those three are pretty tight.  However,  in that I don’t think I’m going to get my Fitzsimmons Family all settling down in a giant castle in Scotland together.  They set up for him to make a sacrifice, he’s grown, and has something he’s really truly fighting for.   I have loved seeing how close he and Jemma have gotten and how fiercely he’s protected her and her secret.  Even in the face of torture he didn’t betray her.  It will come as no surprise if he doesn’t sacrifice himself somehow.  Either in taking a hit for his family or doing something similar to what he did in Season 5 to make sure they got home.  Bringing things full circle.   He also expressed that he wouldn’t mind being stuck in the hot mess timeline in ‘83.  He built himself a nice life there and Nathaniel did a pretty good job of taking out Hydra...with just a bit of Shield hanging on.  So if it comes down to it I don’t see him minding if he gets stuck there.  Sure him saying goodbye to Nana and Bobo is gonna hurt like Hades but if he ends up alive, I’m good.  

Fitzsimmons:  Both live, yes they will scare the crap out of us more than a few times especially after we know about the daughter, but they will live.  Totally peace out, we’ve done our time, leaving Shield with the adorable daughter and its Perthshire or Bust.   They’ve sacrificed enough and will not be willing to risk it again.

May:   Lives and reminds us all that she is one hell of a pilot.  If Mack decides he wants to step down, dies, whatever I’ll throw her back in contention for Director, especially as I see Sousa Following Daisy if she leaves.  Coulson seemed to have set her on that path and at the very least passed the “Team Parent” torch onto her, that it would be her job to give the Coulson talks to those who needed it.  If she’s not Director, she’ll be whomever is right hand, or I still have that option for the Academy being up and running and she’s running that, training the next generation.

Coulson: Lives.I know SHOCKING.   I think he was very ready to throw in the towel after spending 20 months in the TV but then Enoch’s moving words in his death were what changed his mind about ‘powering down” when this is all over.  Coulson realizes that yes, while it is hard to be the one to leave it is harder for the ones that are left behind but it's also necessary that they move on, and live for those they have lost before.  Like Sousa and Fitzsimmons, he’ll be another that they’ll fake out death a few times.   I see him leaving Shield though, taking Lola and finally just going and seeing the world, watching the history he loves so much happen.  We get to see him driving around or even off in Lola for the last time.   Other options include he does something that will allow him to totally run with his new super computer super power.  The final thing I can see him doing is being the coolest professor at the newly rebooted Academy.  

Flint:  Get’s his tacos.

Piper: Keeps being awesome.

Davis:  Better live dang it.

Kiddos Predictions:

That weird device Jemma makes brings Fitz 

Deke sacrifices himself for Fitz

Fitzsimmons and their kid have to leave Shield

Mack leaves shield

Fitzsimmons, Dousy, Mackelena all stay together

Daisy kills Nathaniel, Daisy needs to quake him up

May or Nathaniel will take out Kora.  But if she survives we want Daisy to take her in.

Fitz takes down SIBYL

Piper is watching the Daughter

The daughters name is Olivia

Robo Coulson will sacrifice himself

GHOST RIDER HAD BETTER BE OUR SURPRISE CHARACTER (this was literally shouted at me).  Kiddo 3 voted for PIkachu (Lincoln)

Have no idea what will happen to May

We will get a “flash forward” ending showing what the team that is still alive is doing

Flint gets his tacos

They save the team and have a full out war at some point in time

The episode is going to be super good

Mom is going to cry

Well there it is.  We’ll check back in on Thursday to see how I did!

[be-not-afeared]

Jaime Lannister and John Silver: of arcs and endings

Or, herein follows a possibly niche comparison between the character arcs of Jaime Lannister (Game of Thrones, HBO, 2011-2019) and John Silver (Black Sails, Starz, 2014-2017), in which I will argue that Jaime’s character arc fails not because of Jaime’s actions, but because of the way his story is framed to the viewer throughout the series, using Silver as a springboard to explore the requisites for a tragic yet satisfying ending.

(Yes, this is 5K words long. No, I am not sorry. Spoilers for Jaime’s and Silver’s storylines in their respective shows, and while I’ve tried to stay vague about the Bigger Picture, read at your own risk.)

Okay, so. I was, and still am, to an extent, a huge Game of Thrones fan. I’ve pored over the books, been to conventions, and spent a good couple of years while I was at uni discussing fan theories on message boards into the early hours of the morning. Jaime Lannister has been one of my favourite fictional characters for over a decade. Yet I certainly wasn’t alone in watching in horror as years of hopeful build up was thrown away in the span of one and a half episodes during the final season of the show. There are *many* things that hurt about season 8 of Game of Thrones. But the swift 180 we see in Jaime, from aiding the Starks in the Battle of Winterfell and finally choosing Brienne, to abandoning her to return to Cersei 20 minutes later, was, for me, one of the deepest cuts.

When I started watching Black Sails this August, I was immediately compelled by Silver – unsurprisingly, as someone who has exactly one favourite character type: Traumatised and Morally Grey Anti-Villain. Watching Silver’s character develop over the four seasons of Black Sails was an absolute joy, and his ending in the finale, though *incredibly difficult*, was nuanced and in character and satisfying. (Am going to try and keep as vague as possible on details here, because Black Sails is an incredible show that more people should watch and I don’t want to completely spoil the ending).  Silver and Jaime are two characters with a lot of similarities and their characters arcs appear to run in direct parallel with each other: both selfish and arrogant men who become more empathetic and invested in others as the series progresses, in large part prompted by the loss of a limb. However, the gulf in reception of their overall arcs can be pinpointed to one huge disparity between the way both storylines were framed to the audience, and that is difference between redemption and tragedy.

“I was that hand”

But first! Let’s start with the more obvious stuff.

When we meet Jaime Lannister and John Silver in the pilots of their respective shows, they are both introduced as arrogant and self-serving – yet charming – men, who place the needs of themselves (and Cersei, in Jaime’s case) above all else. Silver kills and impersonates the cook on the merchant ship Flint’s crew captures, and has no qualms about lying his way onto the crew whilst simultaneously planning to sell the Urca schedule to the highest bidder. For Silver, his own survival comes before any sense of moral code. We are told stories about Jaime before we properly meet him  – that he killed the previous king, Aerys Targaryen, that he has no honour – but nothing that we see first-hand contradicts this; at the end of the pilot he attempts to kill a child to cover up his and Cersei’s incestuous relationship. Silver is certainly supposed to be more likeable than Jaime, but both men, despite their lack of morals, are presented as charming, clever, and good with a one-liner. As we move through the early seasons of both shows, they are consistent in these traits, although Jaime is presented as an outright antagonist whereas Silver from the outset is a morally grey unknown entity, keeping viewers on our toes wondering if he’ll turn against Flint, against Billy, against Eleanor. Things change, for both men, however, with the direct lead up and fallout of the loss of a limb: Jaime’s hand and Silver’s leg.

The introduction of Brienne of Tarth as Jaime’s foil kickstarts his path towards becoming the honourable man he once dreamed of being. During their roadtrip across Westeros, she challenges him and is able to get under his skin in a way we haven’t yet seen before. This comes to a head when the duo are captured, and Jaime intervenes during her attempted rape, lying about her ransom worth and saving her from an awful fate. The result? The immediate amputation of Jaime’s sword hand, representative of Jaime’s identity (“I was that hand”). Jaime is punished for the first selfless act we see him commit on the show with the loss of the source of his power and self-worth.

Silver, in a similar fashion, finds himself in a position to save the crew he has spent two seasons disparaging. When he is offered the opportunity to betray his crew for an escape route, he refuses (the reasons for this refusal never outright stated, although I imagine Flint’s “where else will you wake up in the morning and matter” and Billy’s “that’s our brother you’ve got there” both factor heavily). Again, the result of this refusal is the brutal torture and eventual amputation of Silver’s leg – a man who in his own words is “not a joiner”, prone to taking what he needs and leaving, to reinventing himself, to always having an escape route. As actor Luke Arnold says: “He's a guy who's always had one leg out the door, and then they cut it off.”

What is interesting here is not only that we have two characters who are *punished* for moving beyond their selfishness, but that that punishment is specifically catered towards their defining characteristics. Jaime is left unable to fight, unable to defend himself, unable to uphold his reputation. Silver is left unable to run, unable to leave his past behind him, unable to remain without attachments. Both are left vulnerable.  The loss of Jaime’s hand forces him to reinvent himself in a world ruled by swords; as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, father to Tommen, and an honourable man working to uphold his oath, through Brienne, to Catelyn Stark. The loss of Silver’s leg, however, leaves him *unable* to reinvent himself; forcing him to rely on his crew and paving the way for the growth of his relationship with Flint and Madi. In losing their limbs both Jaime and Silver are set on paths towards gaining empathy, and are able to become invested in those around them.

 “Defined by their histories, distorted to fit their narratives”

Game of Thrones and Black Sails both engage heavily with ideas of myth-making and storytelling. Stories are woven into the mythology of Westeros; a world with thousands of years of history revealed to us slowly over the seasons to suit the narrative and the teller. We are told the story of Rhaegar Targaryen’s kidnap and rape of Lyanna Stark in the pilot, and at first this serves to provide a tragic landscape for Robert’s unhealthy relationship with his wife and his crown. It is only as the show develops and we hear more about Rhaegar and Lyanna that we realise there is more to this story; in season 5 Littlefinger recounts the events of the Tourney of Harrenhal to foreshadow the reveal of Jon’s parentage later that season, that Rhaegar and Lyanna had a happy and consensual relationship and that it is Robert who could be viewed as the villain of this sequence. We are taught through watching the show to never assume that any given story is true. Black Sails similarly plays with the idea of the power of the storyteller, combining historical pirates with fictional pirates and an origin story for Treasure Island, and going to great lengths to show that history is in the hands of the victor. Most of the primary sources of pirate history are from the perspective of civilised England, and in the process of watching the show we come to realise the bias inherent in these histories; much like in Game of Thrones, they are stories, and should not be assumed to be either true or accurate. As Jack says in the finale: “a story is true, a story is untrue […] The stories we want to believe, those are the ones that survive”.

Jaime Lannister and John Silver are both characters defined by stories that are forced upon them without choice: the Kingslayer and Long John Silver. We meet Jaime as the Kingslayer; our opinion of him is immediately formed by the story of him stabbing in the back the King he had sworn to protect, and cemented by the fact that our protagonist, Ned Stark, a man we like and trust, is the one telling this story. The Kingslayer’s presence is so strong in the first two seasons of the show that Jaime becomes nameless, reduced to this one defining act. It is only after the loss of his hand, and through his developing bond with Brienne, that he is finally able to tell his own story and we realise our entire perception of Jaime’s character has been based on an incorrect interpretation of events: that in killing Aerys Targaryen Jaime was saving the population of Kings Landing from destruction via wildfire. It is only after the truth of this story has been revealed to us that Jaime is able to begin moving past the Kingslayer and forging a new identity.

We see this in reverse in Black Sails, for the story of Long John Silver is not introduced until the season 3 finale, but like Jaime, this story is not told by Silver. Billy creates the myth of Long John, commits the acts attributed to him, and uses him as a figurehead for the pirate rebellion all without Silver’s knowledge or consent. Season 4 sees Silver wrestle with this identity of King of the Pirates, surrounded by people who want to use ‘Long John Silver’ for their own benefit: Billy, Israel Hands, even Flint. As the power and influence of Long John Silver the story grows, John Silver the man is disregarded, and his value reduced to how he can further everyone else’s individual causes. Though he does embrace this title (for a time, at least) to further “Flint and Madi’s war”, a cause he doesn’t truly believe in beyond his investment in Flint and Madi as people, we come to realise that the ‘character’ of Long John Silver that we know from Treasure Island is only that: a character, a story, a collective created for a larger cause that Silver himself eventually betrays.

I have seen some criticism of this scene, but for me one of the few redeeming moments of the Game of Thrones finale was Brienne writing Jaime’s story in the Book of White. Despite Jaime’s less than satisfactory conclusion, with this act he is finally able to move past the Kingslayer; Brienne has rewritten his narrative, and he will be remembered as a Knight who “died protecting his Queen”. Silver is offered no such release. By contrast, the story of Long John Silver is all that will be remembered; the worst fear for a man who cannot bear for his own story to be known. Indeed, we learn that “those who stood to benefit most from [Long John Silver] were the most eager to leave it all behind”. While Jaime is able to escape the story of the Kingslayer, the story of Long John Silver is what will endure, “all that is left of [him] is the monster in the story they tell their children”. Hello Treasure Island.

 “Reviled by so many for my finest act"

We can see here that Jaime and Silver’s narratives deal with similar themes, but often in contrasting ways. Just as with storytelling, Jaime and Silver’s backstories are key parts of their storylines in their respective shows, but operate with very different functions. (It is only as I am writing this that I’m realising how similar the themes of Game of Thrones and Black Sails actually are? If only Game of Thrones had the follow through of Black Sails... We were all rooting for you, etc etc).

Jaime’s backstory, and the truth of the act that earned him the title ‘Kingslayer’, is revealed to us mid-way through season 3. This comes at a very key moment for his character: Jaime has just lost his hand and is at his most vulnerable, and Brienne’s stubborn and persistent honour is clearly starting to affect him. “I trust you,” he says to her in the bathroom scene in 3x05, and we can assume that this is the first time he has said this to someone who isn’t a Lannister in quite some time, possibly ever. Essentially, the reveal of Jaime’s backstory comes at a moment where we are already beginning to soften towards him and are therefore open to hearing an alternative interpretation of events. While Jaime needs to be able to tell his story to begin to move past the identity of the Kingslayer, if this reveal had come too soon it wouldn’t have had the same dramatic effect, as viewers wouldn’t have been open to seeing him in a different light. All we saw of Jaime in the first two seasons was the “man without honour” that everyone believes him to be; by mid-season three we are already beginning to realise that there is perhaps more to him that meets the eye, so the reveal of his backstory has the most impact.

(This is exactly what Black Sails does with Flint’s backstory, and I firmly believe that if we had been told his story in season one as was originally the plan it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as effective. We needed to know more about Flint, and to see his uneasy partnership with Silver begin to develop as we delved into the backstory piece by piece, so that by 2x05 our hearts were ready to be broken. Buuut that’s a different essay.)

Black Sails loves a backstory. As we move through the show we slowly learn why and how our favourite characters came to be in Nassau , and universally these reveals add to our understanding of that character and their motivations: for Flint, for Billy, for Max, for Jack. We enter season four with Silver as the only character we don’t know anything about prior to the pilot. Surely then, we were about to get a ‘Jaime Lannister bathroom scene’ equivalent, a moment that will add depth and understanding to Silver’s character? Were any of the stories he has told about his past true? Who is Solomon Little? … Instead, what we get is one of my favourite sequences of the entire show, in which, after Flint realises that he knows nothing of Silver’s past, Silver reveals that Flint, and by proxy the viewer, knows “of [him] all [he] can bear to be known”. Silver is the ultimate storyteller, master of manipulating and deceiving others through the power of a narrative, yet he cannot bear to be the story himself. We never learn Silver’s backstory, and all he reveals of his past is that it speaks to “events of the kind no one can divine any meaning from, other than the world is a place of unending horrors”; he has chosen to repress his past, has rendered it unspeakable, and both Flint and the viewer are only left to wonder at what these “horrors” could be.

Although this lack of backstory adds nothing to our view of who Silver *was*, it is key to understanding who Silver *is*, and *why* Silver makes some of his more controversial choices further down the line. Silver’s need to repress his past is as key to his character as Flint’s need to define himself by his own backstory. We understand from this that Silver has experienced a level of trauma which is unspeakable, quite a feat for a show with plenty of other horrific backstories and especially pertinent given that Silver is one of our most gifted orators. Silver’s inability to process his past explains a lot of his actions in the early seasons; his coping mechanism has been to move through life without forming attachments, convincing himself that he doesn’t need (and shouldn’t need) other people. It is safe to assume that Madi and Flint are the first people he has let himself be truly vulnerable with, which paints his actions throughout season four in a different light; loving people is new for Silver, and he doesn’t know how to do it in a healthy or selfless way. The placement of this scene is as important to Black Sails as Jamie’s bathroom scene is to Game of Thrones; we needed to have already seen Long John Silver’s significance to the war spiral beyond Silver’s control, to have seen him become compromised by his love for Madi and the beginnings of the collapse of his partnership with Flint, for this scene to pack the punch that it aims for and to beautifully set up the culmination of his arc in the finale. How devastating, for a man who cannot bear for himself to be known, to be the one figure whose story will outlive them all.

Both of these scenes have stayed with me long past my first watch, and feel vital to understanding Jaime and Silver as characters. For Jaime, his backstory informs all his actions moving forward, his desire to transcend the Kingslayer, to become an “Oathkeeper”, or even “Golden-hand the Just”. For Silver, his lack of backstory informs all his actions up to this point in the narrative and prepares us for the choices to come. Just as Jaime is defined by his past, Silver is defined by his *lack* of past.

 “This is not what I wanted”

So, we’ve tracked Jaime and Silver’s characters throughout the show, but how do they both end? The answer, of course, is… tragically. Jaime is offered a glimpse at what could be a peaceful life, in Winterfell with Brienne, before turning it down to return to Cersei’s side only to meet his end while the duo try to escape the collapsing walls of Kings Landing. Silver betrays Flint and Madi in a horrific fashion, ensuring that they both survive though knowing that in doing so he was destroying his relationship with Flint and that there was a chance Madi would never forgive him his actions. (Or, this is my chosen interpretation of the ending, in any case, although the point still works if you prefer one of the other readings). Just thinking about Silver’s ending in Black Sails makes me want to cry. Thinking about Jaime’s ending in Game of Thrones makes to want to cry too, although for a very different reason. Neither are the ending we would hope for these characters in an optimistic and ideal world. But Silver’s decision to betray Flint and Madi feels narratively satisfying in a way that Jaime’s decision to betray Brienne and return to Cersei never could. Why is that?

Jaime Lannister’s character progression from season 3 onwards was set up as a redemption arc. We thought we were watching a jaded and selfish man become an honourable man. The show, admittedly, takes its sweet time with this journey in comparison to the book equivalent, and inserts some *interesting* deviations which I won’t dwell on here (looking at you 4x03 and the entirety of season 5). But, ultimately, the journey that Jaime finds himself on from the moment he loses his hand seems to be heading for a triumphant ending. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t expecting him to survive the series. But I was expecting him to go out in a blaze of glory – fighting side by side with Brienne, perhaps, or protecting Bran, or one of the other characters he had wronged in the past. There was also always the chance that he would end up fulfilling the much subscribed to book theory of the valonqar, although this admittedly looked less likely as that particular line of the prophecy was cut from the show. When Jaime finally leaves Cersei at the end of season 7 it is such a triumphant moment – after years of struggling with these warring parts of himself, his toxic love for Cersei and his growing moral conscience, a decision had been made and a tie cut. We enter season 8 assuming that there is no going back. We don’t get a hint of any conflicting feelings from Jaime about this decision in the first half of season 8; we are focused on preparation for the Battle of Winterfell, and revelling in the joy of having Jaime and Brienne in the same place for longer than a single episode for the first time since season 4. We get the knighting scene (which, let’s be honest, is where the season peaks). We get the battle. We get the sex scene between Jaime and Brienne (which I… don’t love, for many reasons up to and including the weird virgin shaming jokes from Tyrion in the previous scene and their level of intoxication, but still gives no hint that Jaime is battling an inner war). And then later in that same episode, despite Brienne pleading with him to stay, we get Jaime’s snap decision to return to Kings Landing to attempt to save Cersei: “You think I’m a good man? […] She’s hateful, and so am I”.

The issue here isn’t the decision itself, or Jaime’s choice of words. We know that Jaime isn’t a good man. We know that he’s done awful things for Cersei’s love. And, if we think about it, it makes sense that he wouldn’t be able to leave behind a lifelong co-dependent and unhealthy relationship without looking back, and that he would be driven to return to Cersei’s side when the reality of her impending death hit. The issue is that none of this decision making is presented in the show itself; there was no build up, no foreshadowing. Instead of showing us why this decision was made, the show presents this scene as a shock twist, leaving the viewer with whiplash wondering how Jaime’s story could have taken such an unexpected turn so quickly. The redemption arc that we all thought we were watching was not a redemption arc at all, and don’t think I was alone in finding this revelation deeply unsatisfying.

Let’s leave Jaime for a moment and turn to John Silver. Even for viewers who entered Black Sails without knowing they were watching a prequel to Treasure Island (such as myself!), we can assume that most people have heard of the fictional pirate Long John Silver: the ‘villain’ of Robert Louis Stevenson’s adventure who embodies what it means to be a “gentleman of fortune”.  When we meet clean-shaved, smarmy, two-legged Silver in the pilot most viewers will at least have an idea of the trajectory his arc will take – and that it won’t end with him and Flint skipping off into the sunset hand in hand. We know, because of history, that the pirate rebellion is doomed to fail, that slavery does not end in the West Indies, that Nassau does indeed fall back under English rule, and that piracy is eventually stamped out of New Providence. And we know, because of Treasure Island, that John Silver will end up hunting for Captain Flint’s treasure, while Billy Bones dies from a stroke at the very idea of a visit from Long John and Flint drinks himself to death in Savannah. In essence, we know that we are watching a tragedy.

The genre of tragedy dates back to Ancient Greece, and describes a narrative that presents an examination of human suffering while evoking a sense of catharsis. Aristotle defines tragedy as “an imitation of an action that is serious, complete, and of a certain magnitude … through pity and fear effecting the proper purgation [release] of these emotions.” In other words, in order for a tragedy to achieve this state of emotional release, we as the viewer need to both anticipate (or, fear) the resolution and feel sympathy (or, pity) towards the tragic hero. Black Sails does this masterfully. The pathway towards the destruction of Silver and Flint’s partnership has its grounds as early as season 2, before it has even really started to develop, where Silver talks of his fears of being “used and discarded” by Flint. In the finale of season 3 it is made explicit during their conversation before the battle, with Silver interrogating what he sees as the pattern of Flint’s loved ones dying “not just during [their] relationship, but because of it”. Silver finds himself “unnerved by the thought that when this pattern applies itself to [Flint] and [Silver], that [he] will be the end of [Flint]”. As they lock eyes across the water later on in this episode, the setup of their opposition, complicated by the genuine care between them, is complete, and we enter season 4 dreading the crumbling of their relationship. Season 4 dangles this dramatic irony over us; every time Flint mentions the indestructible force of their partnership, the things they can achieve when there is “no daylight” between them; every time Silver mentions that Flint has his “genuine trust and friendship”; every time they both speak of their partnership in the same terms as the love that Silver holds for Madi, “I’m committed to Flint, I’m committed to Madi” / “he is my friend, too”, we dread the moment where this will all change. We may not know how it will play out, but we know it is coming. The “fear” is very much present. As, indeed, is the “pity”. We understand why Silver makes the decision he does, even if we don’t agree with it. The show has taken lengths to track the development of Silver’s ability to care and make himself vulnerable to others; we believe in his love for Madi, and understand why he believes that he is doing the right thing. Silver’s tragic flaw is that in gaining empathy his selfishness moves to encompass those he cares about; he will do dark things to protect them without consideration of their own choices or agency.  The finale of Black Sails is difficult, beautiful, and yes, tragic, but we end Silver’s story understanding and perhaps even empathising with the decisions he made, believing him when he says that “this is not what [he] wanted”.

 Tragedy vs redemption

John Silver’s story is a tragedy. And I believe that Jaime Lannister’s story is also a tragedy; a deeply flawed man who tries to escape the inevitability of an abusive and unhealthy relationship, only to eventually fall back into this cycle and become consumed by it. The problem is that this wasn’t the story we thought we were watching. The ending of Jamie’s character arc has none of the fear, none of the pity, none of the catharsis of Silver’s, because there was no signposting towards this end. If Jaime’s arc had been treated as a tragedy from the outset then perhaps it would have felt emotionally satisfying rather than rushed and unexpected.

Admittedly, as Jaime is not as central to Game of Thrones as Silver is to Black Sails, the show could not spend as much time detailing his inner world as Black Sails does to the latter. However, if the show had framed Jaime’s story with a sense of tragedy rather than triumph, then his decision to return to Cersei in season 8 would have had the same inevitability as Silver’s betrayal. In season 1 of Game of Thrones, as in the first instalment of A Song of Ice and Fire, Cersei tells Ned Stark that she and Jaime “are more than brother and sister. We shared a womb, came into this world together. We belong together”. However, the show doesn’t include Jaime and Cersei’s later, darker ruminations, that “we will die together as we were born together” (Jaime, ASOS), and “we will leave this world together, as we once came into it” (Cersei, AFFC). Jaime and Cersei’s doomed fate in the books is entangled in a way it never is in the show, and doubly so when you factor in the possibility of Jaime actively causing Cersei’s end due to the valonqar prophecy. In addition to this, if we had seen Jaime leave Cersei earlier in the narrative and then grapple with this decision, showing him struggling to be the man Brienne believes him to be and overcome his past actions, then his failure wouldn’t have seemed so out of the blue. With very little effort or changes on the part of the show, Jaime’s *entire* arc could have been framed in a way that would have made his death a tragically fitting end to his and Cersei’s story.

Jaime and Silver both end their respective narratives in very similar places to when they were introduced, or at least they do on the surface: Jaime unable to leave Cersei even in death, Silver alone and eventually chasing treasure (yes, Madi is still in the picture, but I don’t think we are meant to infer that their future relationship will be a trusting one). However, for Silver, this similarity is only surface deep, for we followed his growth and development and understand the tragedy of his choices. Although Jaime goes through a very similar pattern of growth, the framing of his arc as redemptive means that the unexpected nosedive into tragedy in season 8 doesn’t have the weight or impact that it intends, and we are left without understanding *why* he makes his choices. Jaime’s arc is a failed tragedy that doesn’t fulfil the cathartic requirements of the genre, but with a bit of reframing it could have been as emotionally resonant as Silver’s.

Long story short: watch Black Sails.

[barkadasesh]

"RIGHT DESTINATION"

“Breaking news: Deadly viruses that can be a cause of death of a single person for over a week

are spreading within the not known city here in our country. It is the cause of apprehension

around the said city especially in Cupang that set as the nearest place to it”.

Three months earlier…

JOSH: “Hi guys! I miss you all so much! I’m taking my leave as my past operation has

succeeded. Christmas holidays was coming. I’m here in my hometown. What’s our plan?

I clicked the send button. And after a minute my phone rings, at first I wonder who it is, so I

quickly answered it and found out that Vanessa is on the phone. Another five faces pop up in

the screen, my heart was very overwhelmed as this conversation is a treasure and memorable

because these people are not only my friends, yet a family. They speak one by one, gave their

schedules and free time for us to plan our next travel, hang out and for the celebration of

Christmas Eve.

MARVIN: “Bye guys! Hope to see all of you soon. I am just busy these past months because

bunch of patients arrived and I know you all understand me since it is our duty. Love you all!”

Minutes after Marvin said those words, we ended the call. So me after I realized that sun is

about to set, I prepare my meal. I cooked my favorite adobo dish, but since I’m alone because

my parents passed away when I’m in college and my siblings have their own families. It will be

my meal for two days. I used to go here in the place where I grew up for the memories that I

want to remember. I can say that those experiences here are unforgettable, since it was the

reason why I continue life and still reaching my dreams, especially to serve my fellow

countrymen. It is the reason why I’m a professional doctor and has a mission to cure and protect

people around me with my full capacity and ability.

Around four in the morning I woke up, I packed my things and ready myself for a long ride travel

because this day we will be going to the place where many people dreamt of. We will go to

Palawan as we decided to have a vacation there. At 6am we arrived at the airport, we also have

our tickets and waited for our flight. Jewel volunteers herself as our tour guide since it’s her third

time going to Palawan.

JEWEL: “So guys! Don’t worry about this vacation. I assure you that this will be going to be our

best vacation ever. I’m handling the hotel and all of our destination in Palawan, but for now just

relax and wait for our flight.”

As the excitement sparks on what Jewel said, the only reaction we gave to her was laugh, smile

and a sign of approval.

VANESSA: “Noted sis, we know that you will take care of us and what else that we became

doctors, if we weren’t aware in the word care.”

JOSH: “Yeah, I agree. That’s true.”

After those discussions and conversations, the time has passed and our flight is about to begin.

We picked the long abreast chairs in order to support each other and share our snacks. I offer

the sweets and chocolates I have to regain some energy along the whole travel time. I always

have candies and mints when I have a long ride because it makes me feel alive and energetic,

especially when I feel dizzy and sleepy. I also offered my extra jacket with them.

JOSH: “Hey everyone? I have here an extra jacket, just tell me when you need it.”

CAMILLE: “Bro, can I barrow? This jacket of mine was slightly thin and I’m freezing right now.”

JOSH: “Yeah sure! Don’t worry about it. You’re all free to use my stuffs here.”

MARCO: “Thanks bro! You’re truly a reliable and one of a kind person I have ever met.”

CAMILLE: “Yes, I agree with you bro Marco.”

Due to a cold temperature brought by the air condition, almost all of us fell asleep. We woke up

before the airplane landed on our destination. After a few hours, we arrived at the hotel where

we will be staying to have some rest before we start the true resting point and relaxation. We

also took our lunch so we can arranged our things and clear up all we need in the remaining

time. We will stay here for almost 2 weeks and the only thing in my mind was to enjoy every

moment and unwind myself from the challenges of life. Time was ticking so fast, every single

day was the most special day of my life. The waves are so relaxing, the sunrise and sunset was

incredible, the places and the foods are so good and most especially the people are nice.

We really enjoyed staying at Palawan, 2 weeks is worth relaxing for us. Me and my friends has

each own memorable experience, for sure we will go back to this place. On the last day of

staying at Palawan, we had a sharing of our different experiences in life. We had a sharing for

us to connect to one another and hugged each other before we leave this place. As we are in

the plane, we are watching television and breaking news flashed about virus spreading in the

city of Alabang.

“Breaking news: Deadly viruses that can be a cause of death of a single person for over a week

are spreading within the city of Alabang. It is the cause of apprehension around the said city,

especially in Cupang that sets as the nearest place to it”.

“Reporter: According to the experts, the virus is an airborne that can give severe rashes to the

skin if not prevented or given first aid kit”.

CAMILLE: “We need to hurry! I think a lot of work and patients are waiting.”

VANESSA: “For sure we had a lot of work to do.”

Our plane landed in the airport and waved goodbyes to each other. Before I go home, I went to

the convenience store to buy some food stocks and necessities. As I came home, I had a

headache probably because of the jetlag. I went to sleep to rest because I don’t feel well. The

next day, I woke up with a heavy feeling and feel cold, that is why I decided to go to the hospital.

I message my friends to inform them that I am in the hospital, I am not feeling well. The doctor

took some test on me and they found out that I am one of the carriers of the deadly virus. I was

isolated, given first aid kit and told me that no one can visit me unless cured.

“Breaking news: Asian Hospital has one new confirmed case of the new deadly virus. According

to the doctor, the patient went to Palawan and the last place he went is a convenience store

near his house. They say that he got infected in the convenience store”.

MARCO: “Hey guys! Did you hear the latest news? It’s him.”

CAMILLE: “OMG! I knew it! Based on the descriptions of the reporter I know it’s him.”

VANESSA: “I also had goose bumps when I heard it’s in Alabang, he is the one near on that

place.”

On the next day, my friends planned to meet to talk about helping a friend. But the others didn’t

agree and back out because they know that they could risk lives if they help a friend.

CAMILLE: “I agree to help, his our friend so it is just the right thing to do.”

MARCO: “I’m sorry guys but I couldn’t risk my life just to help a friend.”

VANESSA: “I would like to help but it may risk my life. I had a lot of things to do.”

JEWEL: “It is our job to assist patients caused by virus. So why can’t we help our friend?”

“Breaking news: Increase of confirmed cases and death amidst the virus spreading in the City.”

Jewel and Marco assists the patients. Vanessa contacted his connection and other friends in

helping the invention of vaccine. Camille is talking with the government regarding their needs in

fighting the virus and looking for a cure. Marvin assists his friend in the hospital. After all the

arguments and realizations, they decided to help their friend and their community in order to

prevent the spreading of the virus. After a month of struggles and challenges, with the help of

people’s kindness, they invented a cure. A day after, they started to vaccinate the people to

their community, however, a bad news came to them and startled them because their friend

died.

Month has passed and things get back to normal, this is the only chance they had to visit the

grave of their friend.

MARVIN: “Hey Josh! Long time no see. What happened was terrible.”

JOSH: “Yes, it’s true, especially for what happened to our friend. Yet, it is a pleasure to tell the

story of his life. ”

MARVIN: “Yes his life is worth living. But I can’t accept that Vince will leave us too soon.”

JOSH: “Vince’s life story was unforgettable, memorable, and inspiring because he is one of the

best persons and family that we ever had.”

VANESSA: “Let’s just pray for the soul of our friend. We did everything that we can to save his

life and the others.”

CAMILLE: “His inspiring story will be remembered.”

JOSH: “The most important thing right now is that we achieved the right decision and

destination of our lives, I know that Vince is happy and proud at this moment on what we did.”

For the last time, all of them wished that his soul will be at peace and bid goodbye to their

friend.

-END-

(Short Story by Joseph Osal)

[roughrudesea]

top 5 Shakespeare monologues?

I DESERVE THIS 😤

1. Richard II 3.2

No matter where; of comfort no man speak: Let’s talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs; Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth, Let’s choose executors and talk of wills: And yet not so, for what can we bequeath Save our deposed bodies to the ground? Our lands, our lives and all are Bolingbroke’s, And nothing can we call our own but death And that small model of the barren earth Which serves as paste and cover to our bones. For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground And tell sad stories of the death of kings; How some have been deposed; some slain in war, Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed; Some poison’d by their wives: some sleeping kill’d; All murder’d: for within the hollow crown That rounds the mortal temples of a king Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits, Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp, Allowing him a breath, a little scene, To monarchize, be fear’d and kill with looks, Infusing him with self and vain conceit, As if this flesh which walls about our life, Were brass impregnable, and humour’d thus Comes at the last and with a little pin Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king! Cover your heads and mock not flesh and blood With solemn reverence: throw away respect, Tradition, form and ceremonious duty, For you have but mistook me all this while: I live with bread like you, feel want, Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus, How can you say to me, I am a king?

WHAT CAN I SAY. I heard a friend do this monologue in an acting class almost a decade ago and even with zero context, I thought about it for years. Finally reading the play only made me love it more. 

2. The Tempest 5.1

Ye elves of hills, brooks, standing lakes and groves, And ye that on the sands with printless foot Do chase the ebbing Neptune and do fly him When he comes back; you demi-puppets that By moonshine do the green sour ringlets make, Whereof the ewe not bites, and you whose pastime Is to make midnight mushrooms, that rejoice To hear the solemn curfew; by whose aid, Weak masters though ye be, I have bedimm'd The noontide sun, call'd forth the mutinous winds, And 'twixt the green sea and the azured vault Set roaring war: to the dread rattling thunder Have I given fire and rifted Jove's stout oak With his own bolt; the strong-based promontory Have I made shake and by the spurs pluck'd up The pine and cedar: graves at my command Have waked their sleepers, oped, and let 'em forth By my so potent art. But this rough magic I here abjure, and, when I have required Some heavenly music, which even now I do, To work mine end upon their senses that This airy charm is for, I'll break my staff, Bury it certain fathoms in the earth, And deeper than did ever plummet sound I'll drown my book.

A solemn air and the best comforter To an unsettled fancy cure thy brains, Now useless, boil'd within thy skull! There stand, For you are spell-stopp'd. Holy Gonzalo, honourable man, Mine eyes, even sociable to the show of thine, Fall fellowly drops. The charm dissolves apace, And as the morning steals upon the night, Melting the darkness, so their rising senses Begin to chase the ignorant fumes that mantle Their clearer reason. O good Gonzalo, My true preserver, and a loyal sir To him you follow'st! I will pay thy graces Home both in word and deed. Most cruelly Didst thou, Alonso, use me and my daughter: Thy brother was a furtherer in the act. Thou art pinch'd fort now, Sebastian. Flesh and blood, You, brother mine, that entertain'd ambition, Expell'd remorse and nature; who, with Sebastian, Whose inward pinches therefore are most strong, Would here have kill'd your king; I do forgive thee, Unnatural though thou art. Their understanding Begins to swell, and the approaching tide Will shortly fill the reasonable shore That now lies foul and muddy. Not one of them That yet looks on me, or would know me Ariel, Fetch me the hat and rapier in my cell: I will discase me, and myself present As I was sometime Milan: quickly, spirit; Thou shalt ere long be free.

I’m honestly shocking myself slightly by not listing “We are such stuff,” but even thinking about this part of the play gives me chills. I love the journey Prospero goes on in this: watching him give up his magic and decide to forgive his former enemies is so engaging--and the language is completely unmatched.

3. The Tempest 4.1

You do look, my son, in a moved sort, As if you were dismay'd: be cheerful, sir. Our revels now are ended. These our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits and Are melted into air, into thin air: And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself, Ye all which it inherit, shall dissolve And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded with a sleep. Sir, I am vex'd; Bear with my weakness; my, brain is troubled: Be not disturb'd with my infirmity: If you be pleased, retire into my cell And there repose: a turn or two I'll walk, To still my beating mind.

Okay I lied -- had to include “We are such stuff.” How could I not? I’m a Tempest and a Prospero stan. How could I NOT list this one when it is like *THE* iconic monologue?

4. Hamlet, 3.3

O, my offense is rank it smells to heaven; It hath the primal eldest curse upon't, A brother's murder. Pray can I not, Though inclination be as sharp as will: My stronger guilt defeats my strong intent; And, like a man to double business bound, I stand in pause where I shall first begin, And both neglect. What if this cursed hand Were thicker than itself with brother's blood, Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens To wash it white as snow? Whereto serves mercy But to confront the visage of offense? And what's in prayer but this two-fold force, To be forestalled ere we come to fall, Or pardon'd being down? Then I'll look up; My fault is past. But, O, what form of prayer Can serve my turn? 'Forgive me my foul murder'? That cannot be; since I am still possess'd Of those effects for which I did the murder, My crown, mine own ambition and my queen. May one be pardon'd and retain the offense? In the corrupted currents of this world Offense's gilded hand may shove by justice, And oft 'tis seen the wicked prize itself Buys out the law: but 'tis not so above; There is no shuffling, there the action lies In his true nature; and we ourselves compell'd, Even to the teeth and forehead of our faults, To give in evidence. What then? what rests? Try what repentance can: what can it not? Yet what can it when one can not repent? O wretched state! O bosom black as death! O limed soul, that, struggling to be free, Art more engaged! Help, angels! Make assay! Bow, stubborn knees; and, heart with strings of steel, Be soft as sinews of the newborn babe! All may be well.

3.3 is my favorite scene in Hamlet. I LOVE the tableau of Claudius praying, and Hamlet right behind him, ready to strike. Hamlet the character obviously has some incredible speeches, but this Claudius monologue is the one that always stands out to me: it is such a juicy glimpse into his inner psyche that is more carefully guarded for the rest of the play, and I love this moment (however brief) of unraveling.

5. Macbeth 5.5

She should have died hereafter; There would have been a time for such a word. To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time, And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

Forgive me for being so basic but I would really be lying to myself if I didn’t list this. Although this one, more than others, really depends on the actor. I have seen some renditions of this monologue I really do not jive with, but when it’s done well, it is top tier. 

[hysterialevi]

Eitr | Chapter 6

Fanfic summary: In an alternate universe where the Raven Clan is wiped out, Sigurd ends up being rescued by the son of a Saxon ealdorman, and is tasked with being the boy’s new bodyguard. Upon meeting the boy’s father however, Sigurd soon realizes that the ealdorman is responsible for his clan’s destruction, and secretly plans for revenge while hiding behind the guise of a Norse pagan turned Christian.

Point of view: third-person

Pairing: Sigurd Styrbjornson x Male OC

This story is also on AO3 | Previous chapter | Next chapter

ONE WEEK LATER

FORANGAL CASTLE, THE COURTYARD

Swinging the wooden blade with a firm grip, Sigurd sent Edric stumbling backwards as the other man lost hold of his sword and collapsed to the ground, bringing their fight to a close.

At the moment, they were engaging in a friendly spar in the middle of the courtyard and spending the morning away from their noble duties, hoping to catch a minute of peace.

Things had calmed down somewhat ever since Sigurd first arrived at Forangal, and most of the people seemed to have finally accepted that their new friend wasn’t going anywhere soon, but Edric feared tensions would only rise again with the upcoming visit of one of the local thegns.

Due to the surprising increase of Dane activity in Wedenscire recently, Ealdorman Aegenwulf had called upon one of his old friends -- a man by the name of Raedan -- and summoned him to the castle for an official meeting.

Apparently, Raedan was one of the strongest thegns in the shire -- in addition to being one of the most respected -- and held quite a reputation for battling his fair share of vikings. He resided in a peaceful corner of England’s countryside nowadays with his wife and two children, but his sword was never out of arm’s reach.

The man sounded like a warrior just based on what Edric had told Sigurd so far. He may have been an Anglo-Saxon at heart, but it was clear that he didn’t share the diplomatic methods of his fellow thegns. 

He often favored taking the more aggressive approach when it came to confronting vikings, and considering how much this war was taking a turn for the worse, Sigurd only assumed that Aegenwulf had called for his aid out of sheer desperation.

Was there another clan he wished to wipe out? Did he plan to carry out a second assault? Or was there something else brewing beneath the surface, waiting to erupt? He supposed only time would tell.

“Ah...!” Edric panted, worn out from the fight. “You beat me again! I knew Norse warriors were strong, but... my goodness. You fight with the wrath of God Himself...!”

Sigurd smirked, resting a hand on the hilt of his sword. “You do yourself a disservice, Edric. For a man of your age, you are not so gentle either.”

The nobleman chuckled. “You are kind, but it’s evident to me that I must polish some of my skills. The trainers we have here in Forangal -- they’ve taught me nothing of true battle. Most of them treat me like a doll. They fear that I’ll break if they hit me too hard.”

“Then they are also doing you a disservice. Real war will not coddle you. They are only setting you up for defeat.”

Edric nodded in agreement. “I suppose they are, aren’t they? Or perhaps they’re just afraid of what my father will do if they whack me over the head too firmly. I know plenty of them have received an earful from other lords whose sons ran crying to them when they ended up with a black eye. Well, fortunately for me, I have you here now. Maybe you can change things.”

Sigurd reached a hand out. “I think I already have. Unless, of course, your bishop is always this irate.”

The young man sighed deeply, allowing his friend to pull him up. “Hundwerth still hasn’t gotten over it, has he? I swear, you’d think the Devil himself pissed in his ale with how he constantly behaves. I hope he hasn’t given you too much trouble.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Sigurd replied. “I have dealt with many other Saxons like him before. I am no stranger to his type.”

“No, I imagine you aren’t. Still, I wish he’d treat you with more civility. You have yet to give us any reason to distrust you, and frankly, Hundwerth is only making things worse in the castle with his incessant arguing. But, I digress...”

Patting his clothes clean of any dirt, Edric retrieved his fallen sword and neatly placed it back on the rack, eager to have a rest.

“Thank you for training with me today, Sigurd. I know it’s not technically your decision whether or not you get to spend time with me, but I am still grateful for your company. I realize this past week has been difficult for you.”

The viking smiled warmly. “It’s my pleasure. Out of all the people in Forangal, you and your siblings have been the most hospitable. It’s a great relief to have you around.”

Edric beamed at the compliment. “I’m glad to hear it. Though, I fear things will only get more difficult from now on, what with the upcoming arrival of Thegn Raedan.”

Sigurd crossed his arms. “Remind me, when is he coming?”

“If things go according to plan, he and his family should be here by tomorrow morning. They were supposed to be here today, but from what I understand, they were held up by some... ‘complications.’ Details are vague, but it’s pretty clear that Danes were involved.”

“What makes you say that?”

Edric took on a more serious tone. “Keep this between us, but I overheard Raedan’s messenger say that they spotted a group of Danes lurking in the woods north of Agenbury. They didn’t attack anyone, but their presence was enough for Raedan to delay the journey for one night. It doesn’t sound like anything urgent -- yet -- but I’d be lying if I said the news didn’t have me on edge.”

Sigurd paused for a moment. “Agenbury? That’s just outside of Forangal. Is it normal for Danes to be so close?”

“Apart from you? No. Sometimes, we’ll get the occasional straggler wandering about these parts, but it’s rare to see an entire pack of them traveling together like that. And unlike your situation, I didn’t get the impression that these Danes were here by accident. It makes me wonder what they’re really doing here.”

The viking furrowed his brow on thought. “I agree, that does sound odd.”

Edric shrugged in a casual manner. “Well, if we do end up having any trouble with them, perhaps you could try to smooth things over. I realize that not all Danes are bound by camaraderie as some Saxons would believe, but still, it’d be a better chance than one of our people approaching them.”

Sigurd wasn’t so sure. “Hmm. Possibly. Or... it could just make things even worse.”

“How do you mean?”

“Many Danes have a mutual hatred for your people,” Sigurd explained. “They would treat you with the same animosity that Hundwerth has treated me. If they see a Norse such as myself defending you, they might see it as betrayal.”

Edric nodded in understanding. “Ah. I see. I suppose that’s to be expected. Danes have a strong sense of loyalty, do they not?”

The Norse grinned at the understatement. “Oh, yes. We do, indeed. Especially among our clans. There is nothing we wouldn’t do for our own people, and that gives us strength.”

“What about your clan?” Edric asked, bringing the other man to a halt. “I know you said you travel alone nowadays, but... you must’ve had one before, right? What happened to them? Why did you leave?”

Sigurd hesitated for a second, trying not to dwell on the grief that still racked his heart. 

“I... didn’t leave.” He clarified, his voice much softer now. “They were killed. All of them. Including my brother. It’s possible that some could have survived, but if they did... I’ve yet to find them. The rest of us have simply... scattered to the winds.”

Edric picked up on the man’s pain, suddenly feeling the urge to console him. 

“...I’m sorry.” He said, resting a hand on Sigurd’s arm. “It seems that the cruelties of this war know no boundaries. I only hope that, one day, we may see the sun rise in the morning without having to fear whether or not we’ll see it set.”

The Norseman shared his sentiment. “As do I. Perhaps then we will finally know true peace.”

Trailing off into silence, Sigurd placed his sword down and stared blankly into the distance, mindlessly gravitating towards Edric’s comforting gaze.

He couldn’t quite place it, but there was something... new in the nobleman’s eyes; a subtle glint of fondness. He seemed to be drawn to his viking counterpart and looked at him in a manner similar to the way Randvi once did, and if Sigurd didn’t know any better, he would’ve said that Edric was... infatuated with him.

But... no. He had to be mistaken. Sigurd knew how much stricter the Saxons were when it came to men fancying other men, and even though Edric had butted heads with Hundwerth in the past, it was still quite clear that he lived his life according to God’s word. There was no way he would’ve allowed himself to develop such feelings.

Though, despite his reluctance to admit it, Sigurd couldn’t hide the fact that a part of him shared Edric’s affection. The nobleman was rather handsome in the viking’s opinion, and with every day he spent accompanying the young lord around the castle, he found it harder to deny how he truly felt.

But even then, Sigurd was aware that he had to control his thoughts. He was nothing more than a servant to Aegenwulf and his family, and it was not his place to engage in such a relationship with one of his masters. He had just started to gain the ealdorman’s trust after days of keeping his head down, and he did not wish to besmirch himself now.

“I, um...” Sigurd said awkwardly, clearing his throat, “I think we should... return to our duties.”

Edric snapped back to reality and swiftly pulled his hand away, suddenly wondering if he had overstepped his boundaries.

“Oh, right...!” He blurted out sheepishly. “Of course. Forgive me.”

The young man turned away from Sigurd, knotting his hands together in embarrassment.

“Erm, p-perhaps we could retire to the kitchen for now? I hear that Nelda’s in the process of making a fresh batch of soul cakes. You should try one. I think you’d like them. They’re quite good at this--”

“--Lone Wolf!”

Bringing their conversation to a halt, both Sigurd and Edric turned to the side when a third voice abruptly barged into the scene, shattering the calm nature of the courtyard with their gruff bellowing.

“...Algar.” Sigurd said lowly, glaring at their guest. “What do you want?”

The housecarl dismissed the viking’s question and approached Edric, throwing a nonchalant smirk at him.

“You ought to teach your new pet some manners, my lord. He doesn’t learn his place soon enough, he’s bound to get hurt.”

Edric crossed his arms, instantly switching to a more assertive temperament. “Sigurd is not some dog to be led around on a leash, Algar. He is a man, just like you and me. And I expect him to be treated as such. Now, I believe he asked you a question.”

Algar chuckled at the young man’s defiance and brought his attention back to Sigurd, pointing a finger at him.

“You. Come with me. The ealdorman wants to see you.”

“What for?”

Algar shrugged. “Does it matter? Just come along.”

Sigurd didn’t budge just yet. “Forgive me if I’m somewhat hesitant. I only want to make sure I’m not walking into a potential execution like the last time you dragged me around the castle.”

Edric joined in. “I would also like to know the reason. Is everything alright with my father?”

The housecarl sighed, resting a foot on a nearby stump as he spoke. “There’s no need to worry your pretty little face, young lord. Ealdorman Aegenwulf merely has concerns about the Dane activity in Wedenscire, and wants to know if your bodyguard here is connected to it.”

The nobleman glanced at Sigurd. “...Are you suggesting he’s betrayed us?”

Algar shook his head. “In order for one to be a traitor, one must first be a friend. I don’t think Sigurd can exactly call himself that yet. Do you?”

Sigurd stepped between Algar and Edric, tired of the housecarl’s games.

“Enough running around in circles. If you have questions to ask of me, ask. I have nothing to hide.”

The other man smiled darkly. “...You sure about that, Lone Wolf? I suppose we’ll see soon enough, won’t we? Well then, right this way.” 

Removing his foot from the stump, Algar promptly turned on his heel and began making his way out of the courtyard, beckoning Sigurd to follow him with a simple wave. Before the viking could leave however, Edric quickly grabbed the man’s arm and held him back for a moment, whispering a few words of caution in his ear.

“...Be careful, Sigurd. I don’t like where this is going.”

The older man nodded. “Have no fear, my lord. I won’t let my guard down.”

“Good. Don’t. I’d like for you to return to me in one piece.”

“I’ll be alright, Edric. Do not worry about me.”

A light laugh escaped the Saxon’s lips. “A task much easier said than done, I’m afraid. But I suppose it’s out of my hands now. If my father has summoned you, it’s best not to keep him waiting. Go on. I’ll see you afterwards.”

Deciding to let it go for now, Edric released his friend -- albeit somewhat reluctantly -- and allowed the Norse to follow in Algar’s footsteps, leaving him alone in the courtyard. 

He didn’t know if the housecarl’s intentions were sincere, or if there was some sort of ulterior motive lurking in the background, but regardless of whatever the case was, Edric had to admit that he felt uncomfortable leaving Sigurd alone with him.

The man was a snake. Everyone knew it. Despite his gargantuan size, Algar often clung to the shadows like a thief and slithered his way around words, twisting people’s minds as if they were nothing more than toys for him to play with. He molded people with their own fear, and broke them to the point of no return.

He was technically bound to Aegenwulf’s command, but Edric had no doubts he would harm Sigurd if he felt it necessary. Algar seemed to operate based on his own code, and that put the nobleman on edge.

Letting out a sigh, Edric returned to his duties and pushed his thoughts away for the moment, deciding to carry on with his morning. Even though he was concerned about Sigurd’s well-being, he knew it was no longer within his control to determined what happened to him. That man’s fate was in Aegenwulf’s hands now, and Edric would just have to hope for the best.

~~~~~~~~~~

A WHILE LATER

ALGAR’S CHAMBERS

Stepping into the dimly-lit room, Sigurd felt a sense of alarm settling into his chest as he followed Algar into his quarters, flicking his eyes around in nervousness.

Contrary to what he expected, Aegenwulf was nowhere to be seen. There were no signs that the ealdorman had been there recently, and just based on the housecarl’s laid-back demeanor, Sigurd assumed he wouldn’t be showing up anytime soon.

He glanced around the room and placed his hands on his hips, shrugging at Algar.

“Where’s the ealdorman?” Sigurd asked in an accusatory tone. “I thought you said he wanted to see me.”

The other man scoffed, shutting the door behind them. “Aegenwulf is irrelevant to this conversation. This... is between you and me.”

“...So you lied.”

Algar strode over to his end table and grabbed the pitcher that sat on its surface, pouring himself a glass of wine.

“I did only what was necessary. I knew Edric would never free you into my grasp if he was aware we’d be alone.” 

The Saxon turned to face Sigurd, taking a sip from his goblet. “It seems the young lord has grown fond of you. I have to admit, that’s an outcome even I wasn’t expecting.”

Sigurd leaned against a wall, crossing his arms. “You didn’t expect me to survive Ravensthorpe either.”

Algar grinned. “True enough. I suppose you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

The viking grew impatient. “What is this about, Algar? Why have you brought me here?”

The housecarl remained silent for a moment and simply drank more of his wine, allowing his thoughts to realign themselves before firmly setting the cup back down on the table.

“...Who did you tell?” He finally asked, leaving Sigurd in a state of confusion.

“What? Who did I tell about what?”

Algar shot him a fierce glare. “Oh, spare me the act. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You told someone about the attack on Ravensthorpe, didn’t you? Well, who was it? Who was your contact? Where are they now?”

Sigurd shook his head in frustration. “You’re spewing nonsense, Saxon. No one in Forangal besides you and Aegenwulf knows about Ravensthorpe. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The housecarl prowled towards the Norseman. “Is that so? Then explain to me why there’s a group of Danes in Wedenscire at this very moment investigating the ambush. I assume you heard about Thegn Raedan’s delay? Well, he postponed his journey because of these Danes. And coincidentally, they happen to be near Agenbury. The same town you first visited.”

“How am I supposed to know? Not all Danes have a connection with each other.”

“No, but as I said before, they are specifically investigating the ambush in Ravensthorpe. And on top of that, my scouts also report that they originate from East Anglia -- one of the kingdoms allied with your clan. You expect me to believe that this has nothing to do with you?”

Sigurd sighed, already growing weary of the man’s obstinacy.

“How would I even get the word out? I’m trapped in a castle full of Saxons who would see me dead if they knew my true identity. What, you think I just strolled up to someone and asked for their aid? Don’t be foolish.”

Algar formed his own conclusion. “Well, if you didn’t tell anyone, then that means someone outside of Wedenscire knows about the attack.”

Sigurd’s brow furrowed in resentment. “Perhaps you weren’t as thorough as you thought. There could be other survivors.”

The housecarl narrowed his eyes. “And I suppose you expect me to believe that these ‘survivors’ have yet to try to reach you?”

“What I have to say means nothing. You’ve clearly made up your mind.”

Algar let out a breath, deciding to drop the subject for now. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to get any information out of Sigurd with this method, and unlike other prisoners, he didn’t have the option of dragging him to the torture chambers. He’d have to think of another approach.

“Fine,” he said plainly. “Keep your secrets, Norse. I will learn the truth eventually, whether you like it or not. In the meantime, see to it that you stick to your duties. If you give me even the smallest reason to suspect betrayal, I will not hesitate to strike you down.”

The Saxon walked over to the door and yanked it open, gesturing for Sigurd to leave.

“Now, get out of here. I have much that I must attend to.”

Pushing himself off the wall, Sigurd gladly removed himself from Algar’s chambers and headed for the exit, eager to take his leave. 

Just before he could step through the entrance though, a sudden thought crossed his mind and stopped him in his tracks, causing him to glance over his shoulder as he asked one last thing.

“Before I go,” he said despondently, lingering in the doorway, “I need to know -- what exactly did you do to Eivor? How... how did my brother die?”

Algar’s signature smirk returned upon hearing the question and he leaned against the frame, causing the wood to creak.

“Still hurting, are we? You need to let him go, love. He’s not coming back.”

The viking glowered at him. “You think I don’t know that? I know he’s dead. I know my home is gone. But I need to know what happened to him. I need to know whether he died a warrior’s death.”

The Saxon tilted his head in a taunting fashion. “...Your brother died gracefully, Sigurd. He died in a bed of flowers surrounded by his family, and asked me to tell you that he always loved you. We shipped him off on a boat of fire, and soon after, the Valkyries brought him to Valhalla. Now, he feasts and drinks in your name at Odin’s side, waiting for you to join him as he prepares for the Twilight of the Gods. A true warrior’s paradise.”

Sigurd clenched his jaw in hatred, having to restrain himself from attacking Algar right then and there. He knew the man was only trying to rile him up, but the pain of Eivor’s loss remained deep in his heart, and he couldn’t help but feel a certain rage boiling inside him.

“...Your time will come, Algar,” Sigurd practically growled, his voice barely above a whisper. “And when it does, I’ll be there, standing over you and smiling down at your mutilated corpse as the light flickers from your eyes.”

Algar was hardly fazed by the threat. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Lone Wolf. Run along, now. I’m sure Lord Edric is eager to see you.”

Calming himself down, Sigurd simply turned away from the housecarl without saying another word and stormed off into the distance, not even bothering to acknowledge the prying eyes of the Saxons who stood outside.

He knew it was unwise to let his anger run free in such a manner, but in spite of all his attempts to stifle it, Sigurd’s wrath only seemed to burn brighter with each passing day. There was a feeling of hopelessness that he just couldn’t shake off, and with Algar constantly fanning the flames of his grief, part of him feared that he would no longer be able to contain it.

He was only human, after all, and he had his limits just like everyone else. But for the sake of not jeopardizing his relationship with Aegenwulf and his family, Sigurd forced himself to hold it back.

He was already short on friends in this godforsaken castle, and considering the fact that yet another thegn was soon to be in their midst, Sigurd knew it would be foolish to betray the ealdorman’s trust at such an early time.

The Nornir put him on this path for a reason, and regardless of any struggles he may have had to endure along the way, Sigurd decided to put his faith in their judgement for now. 

They were the only ones guiding his hand in this obscure land, and he did not wish to defy their plans.

~~~~~~~~~~

THAT EVENING

IN THE WOODS OUTSIDE FORANGAL

“Gjuki!” Broder called out, walking over to the man as he observed the distant castle. “The disguises are ready.”

Gjuki kept his eyes on the walls of Forangal and studied the guards’ routines, meticulously searching for an opening.

“And what of the Saxon thegn?” He questioned. “Any updates on his whereabouts?”

“He hasn’t reached Forangal yet,” Broder answered. “Our scouts say he plans to arrive tomorrow morning at the main gates. Everyone will be there to welcome him, including the ealdorman.”

Gjuki seemed pleased with the news. “Good. Then everything should go smoothly.”

“The plan is still the same?”

The bard looked away from the castle, slowly making his way back to their camp. “Yes. At dawn, we’ll catch up with Raedan’s personal guard and sneak into their ranks. From there, we’ll follow him all the way to Forangal and infiltrate the castle’s walls.”

Broder shrugged. “And then?”

“...Then, we keep an eye out for Eivor’s brother.”

The other man remained skeptical. “You really think Sigurd is still alive? You heard what Eivor said. The man was shot twice before he fell into the river. Chances are he drowned, or died before he even hit the water.”

Gjuki wasn’t convinced. “Do not be so quick to dismiss the unlikely, Broder. It happens more often than you think. Even though I am not yet certain if the fisherman in Agenbury was speaking of the same man, I do believe it is possible at the very least. The Dane he rescued from the river matches Eivor’s description perfectly, and the timing of his arrival is somewhat suspicious.”

Broder decided to humor him. “Fine. Let’s say we do find Sigurd. What then? How are we supposed to get him back home?”

Gjuki sighed, chewing his lip in thought. “I’m afraid I do not yet have an answer for that. If Sigurd is in Forangal, it’s most-likely that he’s under heavy guard. Possibly in the dungeons. If we find him, we’ll report it to Eivor first. I think we’ve left him in the dark for long enough, don’t you?”

“Whatever you think is right, Gjuki.”

The bard smiled. “Good. Then we should focus on getting some rest. Tomorrow will be a busy day, and if everything goes according to plan, we’ll be surrounded by Saxon forces soon enough. I don’t want any of you letting your guard down.”

Broder gave him a firm nod. “Understood.”

“Come, my friend,” Gjuki beckoned, guiding the other man with a hand on the shoulder. “The day is young, and our bellies are still empty. Let us drink to our good fortune, and pray that the gods favor us in the times to come. Odin knows we’ll need it.”

[spnreactions]

15x15: Gimme Shelter

Alright guys! It’s time! 

Just a heads up, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, these posts usually come out later in the day, because even if I watch it live, I tend to do my reactions live, but then write up the full review later. In case you were wondering why the posts don’t usually come right away. 

Anyways! Let’s get down to it! 

Oof. Yep. We’re definitely on the serious track now, with a then like this. 

Also, I didn’t say this before, but I really love the “then” and “now” openings for this season. It’s beautiful with the Impala like that. <3 

Oof. Interesting flashback to Jack breaking out of the Ma’lak Box. 

...ew. Maybe it doesn’t taste as gross as it looks, but it looks gross. 

Jesus girls, chill. 

Okay, I already like the pastor. 

I’m watching live this week, and I’m in a FB group that’s commenting as we watch, and someone just pointed out that the pastor is Dr. Sexy MD!! Man I love when actors return like that. 

Ope. Connor’s gonna die. Poor kid. He seemed nice. 

...that teddy bear definitely wasn’t there when he was walking over before, but okay. 

UMMMMM...TALKING TEDDY!

NO THANK YOU!!! 

I HAVE A DOLL THING!!! NOT COOL!!! 

Hmmm...gotta be honest, I’m not sure how I’m feeling about Cohen’s directing on this one. :/

It had a talking teddy bear. I bet it is. 

Darkness. Nice pun. 

“He’s not that funny.” XD XD 

Dean you just want to go to Atlantic City whether Amara’s there or not don’t even deny it. XD 

Cas’s confused face will always be one of the cutest things ever. <3 

I love the way they’re all walking down the hallway together. It’s such a simple thing, but I like the way they’re positioned and everything. Point: Matt Cohen. 

SCENE FROM THE PROMO! 

Sure they can. 

“She and I used to have a thing” DEAN!! XD XD 

HIIIII JACK!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Dude, let me tell you, I am so ready for some quality Cas and Jack content. 

I love all the different reactions here. Dean is trying to get Cas and Jack out of the house, which Jack is super excited about, and Cas is very not into. XD 

...wait, did they not tell him about Mrs. Butters? Or did they just not mention her name? 

Cas looking at Sam like “help me out here” and Sam being like “sorry but no”. XD 

Oh come on Cas. Look how excited Jack is! I love how enthusiastic he gets over every hunt. It’s adorable and I love him. (Yeah you’re gonna be hearing that a lot. XD)

Cas is like “you’re kidding me right?” 

“Highway to Heaven” XD XD 

THE SCENE!!

MY BABY IS SO EXCITED I LOVE HIS LITTLE SMILE AHHHH!!!! 

No matter how Cas is against going to deal with something so small fry when they’re in the middle of something so huge, he will still smile affectionately at his son, because he loves him. <3 <3 <3 

“Blue’s a good color on you.” XD XD <3 <3 

“Agent Swift.” XD XD XD XD 

“Agent Lovato.” I’M DEAD THESE TWO ARE THE BEST!!! XD XD XD XD

HE’S HOLDING HIS BADGE UPSIDE DOWN JUST LIKE CAS DID ON HIS FIRST HUNT I’M DEAD!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

A BABY YODA REFERENCE?! This show oh my god. XD XD XD 

“I just graduated from CSI.” JACK OH MY GOD YOU ADORABLE LITTLE BEAN!!! XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Okay, I love watching Cas and Jack together, and I love watching them go on a hunt, but guys, could you at least TRY to be subtle? “Did you find tiny bags with chicken bones? Smell any sulfur? Feel cold?” Like, NO you two. XD XD 

The cop lady is just like “what the heck is wrong with these two?”

Oh. “Liar” isn’t a seven deadly sin thing. Maybe I was wrong about that. 

“For my stepson, Ronald.” JACK!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 I love him so much oh my god. 

For someone who’s new to hunting, that was actually an awesome cover. <3 <3 

Wait...speakers? Maybe it isn’t something supernatural after all? 

“Almost demonic.” Okay so that was a little more subtle. 

Okay Cohen, I take back what I said about your directing. That was a good shot of the stop sign. 

I love the way Jack’s sitting in the back of the truck. <3 <3 

Learning from Sam. <3 <3 <3 

Cas, there is no such thing as too many cats. His face when he says that though. XD 

THAT ENTIRE SEQUENCE ABOUT PARENT/GUARDIAN PERMISSION I’M DYING HOLY FRICK!!! XD XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

That was both the cutest and funniest thing ever and I just...I LOVE THEM AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

I feel like Cas is upset though. Like, he’s extra frustrated with the whole Amara and God thing. Not that I blame him of course. He’s just got a certain...coldness to him in this episode. But I like how it disappears whenever he’s talking to Jack. <3 <3 Good acting on Misha’s part. 

For example, that little soft smile when he looks over at Jack logging in to the social media account is so sweet and so cute and so undeniably fatherly. <3 <3 

Okay, gotta be honest: British demon? Totally hot. 

"Why is he talking like that?” he whispers, very loudly in a way that the party he is speaking of can definitely hear him. XD XD <3 <3 

“Because Zack has style.” 

WAIT!!! 

He’s not ACTUALLY British??!! 

Oh my god that shouldn’t have made me laugh, but it TOTALLY did. 

AND he made the “Highway to Heaven” reference just like Dean did! 

I love this demon holy frick. XD XD 

Cas’s and Jack’s confused expressions at his sudden change. XD 

“I would watch that show.” XD XD 

How this show manages to introduce a new character, however brief, and give him so much personality when we’re six episodes from the end is beyond my understanding, but man, it is one of the many reasons I love this show. <3 

Ha! “Demons are get, humans are just crazy” ring a bell? 

Ha! Of course Rowena has that philosophy. God I miss her. 

“You’re a deviant soul corrupted by Hell.” Ah, Cas, ever quick with the logical wit. XD 

Cas’s “and we’re done”. XD 

Zack is so desperate. 

And now, Zack is all of us during COVID. XD 

I love Zack. Take him with you. XD <3 

Oof. Too true, Cas. Too true. 

Awww...Jack. 

AWWW! Cas!!! Knowing his son wanted to be busy and help people. I LOVE THEM!!! 

THOSE SMILES AT EACH OTHER OH MY GOD SO CUTE!!! <3 <3 <3 

She’s gonna steal the money. 

Yep. Classy lady. *eye roll* 

Ope. And now she’s gonna die. 

AHHHH!! 

OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK!! BRING THE TEDDY BEAR BACK!! SCARY MASK IS WORSE!!! 

My mom and I both screamed jesus christ. 

“Focused.” Interesting phrasing, but okay. 

I like the way this phone call is happening. The back and forth is cool, and I like their easy talk with each other. 

Dean can’t just give straight advice. Ever. “Drink the Kool-Aid and sign up.” XD 

Oof. Jesus. 

Clearly Dean wasn’t talk about the Amara thing. 

Wait, this was over a two-day timeline? Huh. Okay then. 

Dean that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you stop. 

“Messengers of God’s Destruction”. 

No, but did any of us? 

“Least this time it’s not you or me.” Yeah, yet. 

That look Sam gives him means he had the same thought I did. 

Okay sorry, I am super not religious, and the God speak makes me want to barf. 

HA! JACK! XD 

See, this is why you have to give straight advice, Dean. I know that’s hard for you, being your chaotic bi self and all, but angels tend to take things literally, bud. XD 

Jack you dork. XD <3 

Geez girl. Be nice. 

Jack whispering again to try to be sneaky I love him. <3 

So that’s a yes then. 

Jesus. She’s a b***h. I don’t like her. 

That little head nod OMG!! <3 <3 

I LOVE THE CAS AND JACK TEAM UP THEY’RE SO CUTE!! <3 <3 

Oh. That was a sweet hug. 

My Mom: It’s him. It’s the pastor. He’s the bad guy. 

Oh! Greed! So this is a seven deadly sins thing! 

Ummm....that’s a little weird. Maybe this is as monster after all, with the tech working like that? 

But if it was a monster, why is she set up like that? 

Okay no, I take that back. I watch Criminal Minds, and this totally looks like something a serial killer would do. Especially the timer thing. 

“The new guy’s hot.” MEEEEE. That girl is me. XD <3 <3 <3 

EVERY. SINGLE. THING. JACK. DOES. IS. SO. STINKING. ADORABLE. <3 <3 <3 <3 

Boyfriend and girlfriend, I’m guessing? 

Awww...baby. :( 

Awww...Jack. :( :( 

Okay but, like, we’ve learned now, right? Don’t give her your whole story please and thank you. 

Oh okay. That’s okay. 

This girl is...off. Is it the acting, or is the character actually weird? I honestly can’t tell. 

Oof. Daddy issues alert. 

“I have more dads than most.” AWWW!!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Wait baby no, you’re not letting them down stop that. :( :( :( 

Ew. “Put your trust in God, not people.” Now I hate her. Trust me honey, the last person Jack--or anybody, for that matter--should be putting his faith in is God. 

Oh okay then. 

Ha! I love Cas’s subtle little sass with the “faith-based community”. 

Oh. A.V. and tech. TV screen. Bingo. 

Yeah I don’t think it’s the pastor. He seems too innocent. 

...except he’s definitely not getting any father-of-the-year awards. But what else is new with this show. 

“It’s complicated.” What are you talking about?? Just say yes, Cas. 

Awww...soft side of Cas. <3 

Yeah no. It’s not the pastor. There’s no way. It must be that Brother Rudy dude. 

Ha! Awkward. XD 

That’s actually really nice. I like that idea, having a church community (sorry--faith-based community) helping other people like that. It’s sweet. 

Oh. Connor was gay. That honestly totally makes sense. Poor guy. :( 

I’m glad the pastor was accepting of him though! <3 <3 

Awww...that’s a good line. “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.” 

I really hope it’s not the pastor. I like him. 

My Mom: Wait, have we just never seen them put gas in the car before? I had no idea it was behind the license plate! 

I’m thinking back and I didn’t know that either, so this must be the first time we’ve actually seen them, like, open it, and that’s HILARIOUS to me. XD 

OOOOH WAIT!! This is where they see Amara, according to the promo photos!! 

Oh heeeey girl. 

Wow she looks really pretty with that snow in her hair. 

She...she...smelled them? 

“You have a very distinctive musk.” “Thank you.” ARE THESE TWO STILL PINING FOR EACH OTHER? XD XD XD 

I like this Amara. She’s fun. 

My family and I always make kielbasa with our pierogis (I had no idea that that was how that was spelled, btw), so pierogis without the kielbasa feels wrong. XD 

Jensen’s facial expressions say so much all the time and I love it. XD 

Oh boy. 

NOOOOOO!

WHAT IS IT WITH SUPERNATURAL AND FINGERS ON THIS SHOW JESUS!!

Okay, WHO is the timer for?? Like, is it just some form of slow torture?? Because it’s not like it’s being shown to anyone other than her. 

Ooh. I like that he’s listing off all of the different names for God. Good pastor. Please don’t be a bad guy. 

HIS FAMOUS “hello” OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUUUUCH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

...oof. Ummm....

Awww.... Poor baby. :( :( :( 

AWWW!! Dad Cas to the rescue!! <3 <3 <3 

Jack looking at his dad omg. <3 <3 

I already like this speech from Cas. I can tell it’s gonna be good. 

“I guess I found a family.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

JACK’S LITTLE SMILE!!! 

“And I became a father.” THERE IT IS!!! THERE. IT. IS!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

THE WAY JACK LOOKS AT HIM AFTER HE SAYS THAT AHHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

AWWWW!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

GOOD SPEECH CAS!!! GOOD SPEECH!!! WAY TO MAKE YOUR SON FEEL BETTER!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 

Awww...I really like this pastor. <3 

FRIIIICK. 

Oh sh**. There’s the time for everyone else. 

JESUS!!!

Yeah okay. This is 100% a human being’s doing. A monster wouldn’t bother. 

Jack running over to turn it off right away. Ever the hero. <3 <3 

The pastor seemed too surprised to have done it, which, for me, puts pastor in the clear. Thank goodness. 

True, but also he sucks, so help us out Amara. 

Okay, I’m sorry, but quick side note. Everyone keeps saying he’s “very nearly done”, but when Dean looked in the telescope, he didn’t see anything. I thought that meant he was done. Unless it only reaches so far? I guess it probably only reaches so far in terms of other dimensions. 

Sure there is. 

“Our pal Jack.” That’s such a weird thing to hear him say, but okay. XD 

Also I’m not sure how I feel about them telling Amara about Jack. Like, I like her, and I feel like she’s gonna help, but what if she doesn’t? She could, whether intentionally or unintentionally, wind up seeing Chuck and mentioning Jack to him, and if she does, that ruins the whole plan. But, on the other hand, I guess they have to earn her trust, and keeping details from her would definitely make that harder. But I still don’t like it. It puts my baby in danger. Again. But anyways. 

Oh. Just like that? 

“I get he’s your brother” Dean says oh so casually, as if he hasn’t literally moved heaven and hell to protect and save his own brother. 

“Squirrely weirdo” XD XD 

Oh. The Big Bang. New theory. I like it. XD 

Sure he can. 

Ummm...yeah, Amara. You’re a fool. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Maybe he cares about you a little, but definitely not as much as you’re giving him credit for. Not right now anyways. 

Wait...she actually said no? No way. I thought they were gonna be able to convince her. Guess my initial theory was wrong... What does that mean though? Like...what now? 

Jack’s gonna come slamming through that door, according to the promo. 

Called it! 

Wait...why did Jack slam through it while Cas is just...casually standing there? You’re an angel, Castiel. XD 

“Lust” It is based on “Seven”! I love it! 

Welp...guess it’s not him. 

Wait, so we are walking away with a no? That never happens to us! 

THERE we go. Go get her Dean. 

Is it just me, or has Sam been, like, really not involved this episode?? Jared’s had, like, six lines. XD 

OH! Okay, the “then” makes sense now. 

Oof. You tell her, Dean. 

That she sucks. That’s what she wanted. Because she does. 

Wait NO WAY! That’s what I said! Kind of, anyways. 

Woooow. That’s actually pretty messed up, Amara. But it makes sense for why Mary was such a terrible character and why I hated her so much. She is only human. A sucky human, too. 

Is it, though? 

“That you could finally start to accept your life.” Okay, that’s actually kind of cool, and that’s awesome on the writers’ part for adding in that explanation of why everything went the way it did. Nice. 

But also, that’s pretty messed up Amara. 

Oooh. We’re about to get some awesome Jensen acting, aren’t we? 

Jensen’s trying not to cry face is so incredible wow. 

Awww....poor Dean. 

Jesus Amara. A little sympathy? 

OOF. I love that quiet fury that Dean has. 

OOH! He got her! 

YES DEAN!!! TELL HER! 

“Well now who’s living in a dreamworld?” ...ouch. But true. 

...oh boy. That was a bold-faced lie. But so brilliantly told, Dean. 

After ALL THAT, you’re going to THINK ABOUT IT? Really??!! 

But hey! I KNEW IT!! BEAUTIIFUL acting moment on Jensen’s part!! AWESOME scene. <3 <3 <3 <3 

Oh! It’s the girl. I’m calling it. 

Yep. Daughter. 

I KNEW SHE WAS BEING WEIRD! 

See?! Super religious people are crazy!! 

Go Cas and Jack go! 

Ope. Cas is gonna heal, and Jack is gonna attack. Go boys go! 

Cas is gonna heal in front of all those people oof. 

Girl has ISSUES. 

Wow, this girl is WAAAAY too religious. Chill. 

Yeah, cause you need help. 

HEY!!! NOT COOL SYLVIA!!! 

Oof. Yeah nice try, but that’s not gonna work. 

I love how Jack just takes it and then heals all bada** like “yeah sorry but no”, but then he still looks up with the kindest and most innocent expression and I love it. <3 

Meanwhile Cas is like “yeah I’m not having any of this.” XD XD 

Does...does he always have to say sleep when he does it? Cause he didn’t used to, and for some reason, that was hilarious. XD 

Jack’s little nod. So cute. <3 <3 

Fixed her fingers, but couldn’t wash the blood off. XD 

Yeah ummm...how you gonna explain that one, Cas? 

At least pastor dude seems nice. And, like, being the good kind of religious, he’ll probably be totally cool with the angel thing. 

Wait, pastor dude is still processing this when morning hits? Okay then. 

“Not a very good one.” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! You are literally the BEST angel, thank you very much. 

Man that girl is MESSED UP. 

And Jack still feels sorry for her, my baby. :( <3 <3 

Ah. Nothing like your daughter becoming a murderer for you to finally step into a proper role of fatherhood. 

WAIT A SECOND! IT’S ZACK!! 

Dude waaait. What does that mean?? That’s, like, a really random thing. Does that mean she’s gonna come back? Or that Zack is gonna come back? I’m not sure what that means. That seems so random! I DEMAND ANSWERS SUPERNATURAL! 

The way Cas looks at Jack after the pastor says that about looking after her better. Cas I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re the best father Jack could’ve asked for, okay? 

Awww! Cas and Jack talk time!! <3 <3 

Cas is trying so hard to help him I love him. <3 

NO YOU DON’T STOP!! THIS IS WHAT FAMILY IS FOR!! WHHHHYYY are all you Winchesters like this. 

Wait. WAIT! He was hiding something?! I hate it when Sam’s right. 

Wait WHAT?! 

HOLD ON!!! 

NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO!!! NO! JACK NO!!! That is NOT ALLOWED!!! 

HOLD ON A SECOND!!! NO!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING WTF??!!! 

Wait wait wait. A bomb?? Like, just like S11?? Because no. No no no. We’re not doing this again. JACK YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE WTF??!! 

THIS THROWS ALL OF MY THEORIES OUT THE WINDOW NOOOO!!! IT CAN’T BE JACK!!! I REFUSE!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

WE JUST GOT YOU BACK!!! WE CAN’T LOSE YOU AGAIN!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Cas’s face is all of my emotional screeching right now. 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN “Don’t tell Sam and Dean.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME JACK??!! THESE ARE YOUR DADS!! THEY NEED TO KNOW!!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!!! CAS WON’T LET YOU!!! 

JACK NOOOO!!! STOP IT WITH ALL OF YOUR GUILT! GOD you’re such a Winchester!! NO!! DEAN BAKED YOU A DANG BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! YOU DON’T NEED TO DIE FOR HIM TO FORGIVE YOU!!! 

I’M HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME TYPING RIGHT NOW WTF IS THIS SCENE??!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( 

Me too, Cas!!! 

SEE JACK??!! YOU CAN’T!! 

NO! WHAT IS THAT?! 

NO!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT YOU STUPID IDIOT NO!!! YOU CANNOT SACRIFICE YOURSELF LIKE THIS!!! THEY WON’T LET YOU!!! 

Cas tell Sam and Dean. Please.

Oh WAIT! We have, like, two minutes left craaap. This is the scene from the promo. Cas is gonna say Sam and Dean need to know something and then it’s gonna end. I’m calling it right now. 

YES CAS!! GO CAS GO!! SAVE YOUR SON!!! 

Yep. Here it is. It’s gonna cut off. 

GODDA**IT!! I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT!!! 

WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT SUPERNATURAL??!! You can’t just...DROP A BOMB like that and then NOT RESOLVE IT GOD DA**IT!! SCREW YOU WRITERS!!! 

AHHHHH!!! I NEED NEXT WEEK RIGHT NOW!!! AHHHHH!!! THIS IS SO NOT OKAY!!!! 

If I deny it ever happened, then it didn’t happen, right? Jack and Cas solved the case, Sam and Dean got Amara’s help, and they all went home and had family dinner, okay? New ending. There we go. Problem solved. Because NO! 

Well...f**k. I guess it’s review time?? But JESUS CHRIST!!! Okay, okay, I need a minute. Please hold. 

(Several Hours Later)

Okay. I’m back. Let me start with something kind of amusing. Several minutes after the episode ended, while I was still trying to process everything, this interaction happened: 

Me, breathing heavily and dying inside: Mom, you do not seem as distressed about this as I am. 

My Mom: I am never as distressed as you are about anything in this show. It’s impossible for me to reach that level of distress. I don’t know how you do it. 

So...if you didn’t already realize how emotionally connected to this show I am, now you do. XD 

That said, let’s get down to it. 

God, there is soooo much to unpack with that episode, and even crazier, it honestly all comes from that last five minutes. Let me start with this: 

I really enjoyed this episode! It can’t quite beat last week’s episode--but, honestly, I don’t know if any of the other episodes will be able to, except for maybe the finale--but it was good! I had a few qualms about Matt Cohen’s directing, but he definitely had some strong moments, so it wasn’t bad. And, admittedly, at first, I felt like the pacing of the episode was kind of slow, and switching back and forth between the Winchesters and Cas and Jack felt kind of choppy for a bit, but as the episode played out, I realized why. This was a full-on set-up episode. While last week gave us a chance to be silly with the boys and see some beautiful family bonding, this was the one that set us up for what’s sure to be heavy and plot-filled coming up. (And yes, I know next week’s episode is much more of a monster-of-the-week, but 15x17 is when things will likely really get down to it, so I’m sure there’ll still be some important plot stuff next week--especially since we need a resolution to the Cas and Dean talk). Between the boys having to find and trick Amara, and Cas and Jack bonding and working with each other again, plus that big reveal at the end, it’s setting up the next string of episodes to be fast-paced and intense as they finally start to take on God. 

With that said, I really loved being able to see Jack and Cas together again. It’s been so long since we’ve seen them really spend time together and bond, and watching them play off each other and be father and son was adorable and hilarious. Plus, I just love Jack with every fiber of my being, so that makes everything better. XD <3 

I also really loved Dean’s interactions with Amara. I mentioned this already, but that scene, where he’s talking about Mary...that was some INCREDIBLE acting on Jensen’s part. He’s always been really good at that subtle rage, especially when it’s also filled with sadness, and this scene was no different. And I’m glad that they did finally get Amara on board; however, I’m a little concerned with what she’s going to do when she finds out he lied. Especially after how worried she seemed to be. AND SPEAKING OF LYING!!

THOSE LAST FIVE MINUTES! HOLY SHIT!! 

Okay, so I’ve had some time to think about this and talk it out with some people, so I’m just gonna roll with the thoughts as they go through my brain. First of all, that is a big no a thousand times over. Jack, you cannot die. Second of all, that reveal was very well done on the writer’s part. After such a nonchalant episode--in terms of pace, that is--to have that in the last five minutes, AND to end with that cliffhanger, was a beautiful way to keep us fans guessing, invested, and wanting more. But also, SCREW YOU! 

That said, as freaked out as I was--and honestly, I’m still pretty worried--I really don’t think Jack’s going to die. There’s no way. Initially, my theory left Cas and Jack standing at the end of all of this. After CW said that thing about one of the main characters not surviving to the end, I thought it was gonna be Dean, but I can also see how it could be both Sam and Dean. However, in any case, Cas and Jack, in my various theories, always end up on top. So Jack saying he’s going to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara TOTALLY threw me. BUT! After talking it through with someone else, I seriously doubt it’s going to happen. 

First of all, Cas is about to go look for another way, and, as we’ve seen in the past, they always find another way. After all, this is the Winchesters (and yes, Cas counts, obviously). 

Second of all, they’re telling us this five episodes before the end, but Jack is, supposedly, completing his final ritual in 15x17. That leaves three episodes of unaccounted time, and if Jack is really going to die to kill Chuck and Amara, there’s no way they can stretch that over three episodes. Therefore, his dads are bound to stop it. To FURTHER that, 15x17 has Jack and Dean heading out together to complete Jack’s final ritual while Sam and Cas stay behind, which means that, once Jack does whatever he’s supposed to do, Dean is bound to find out what Billie’s true intentions are, and I’m convinced that he’s not going to be okay with it. Because here’s the thing. Between Sam and Dean, Jack is the one that Dean still needs the most forgiveness from. And, kind of like what happened in Last Holiday, the second Dean realizes Jack is in actual danger, he’s not going to let anything happen to him. And I’m hoping that the resulting protectiveness will give Dean the chance to tell Jack that he does forgive him, which will hopefully release some of Jack’s guilt complex and give them the ability to find another way. 

THIRD of all, (and I mentioned this in my reactions), this whole “becoming the bomb to kill the cosmic entities” is an exact mirror of what Dean tried to do in S11, and we saw how that went. But the thing is, why would the writers play the exact same storyline again unless they were intending to parallel it and connect it to Jack and Dean’s relationship now? When Dean didn’t detonate in S11, he got his mom back, but then Jack killed her. Now, Jack is ready to detonate himself as a bomb because of having killed Mary, and Dean’s bound to stop him, especially after that conversation with Amara. Maybe this is all wishful thinking, but I really, sincerely feel like (and hope) that Jack isn’t going to make that sacrifice. Because, on top of all of that, while I love the family that is Team Free Will 2.0, this show still is, as it always has been, about Sam and Dean, and, as such, it should end with them too. So the odds of Jack being the “be all end all” without Sam and Dean’s help? Super slim. 

So, to sum that up, as worried as I am about my baby, I really really really think (and god I hope I’m right) that that’s not the way this story will end. There has to be more to it. 

With all of that addressed, let’s talk about WHATEVER it is that Cas is about to tell Dean. For me, there are two things it could be:

First, there’s the obvious answer based on the episode itself. Cas is about to tell Dean that Jack has to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara. However, I don’t think that’s it, because that seems too easy and unrealistic. If Cas tells Dean that now, then why would Dean take him to do his final ritual in 15x17 (I guess this is what happens when you read too much promotional material lol)? And even if he does, the next episode seems to be very Sam and Dean centric, and Cas dropping a bomb like that would not allow for a Sam and Dean centric episode, at least not when it’s putting their whole big mission in a different light. Plus, on top of all of that, that Cas and Jack conversation is an exact parallel of the conversation the two of them had about Cas making his deal with the Empty back in Season 14. Cas told Jack not to tell Sam and Dean, and Jack never did, even though his life is at risk. So Cas telling Sam and Dean about Jack now, knowing that Jack kept that secret for him, might break a certain level of trust between the two of them, and I don’t think Cas would do that. Which brings me to my second and, in my opinion, more likely theory. 

Cas is about to tell Dean about his deal with the Empty. While this would also be a huge bomb to drop in the middle of this big fight, and in the middle of all this chaos, it technically doesn’t directly correlate with their fight with Chuck. However, if something does happen to Cas, that’s something that Sam and Dean do need to know, because it’ll affect how they handle things and what they do, in a lot of ways. At the same time, I feel like, if Cas is gonna do a whole “go it alone” thing, it’s important that he tells them before he leaves, because there’s no telling what could happen, to any of them, when they’re not all together, and being as open as possible before separating like that tends to be a good idea. It seems like Cas might finally be learning. 

That said, I could be wrong all around. It could be neither of those things. It could be both of those things. Honestly, there’s no way to know for sure until we get to next week. However, after a crazy ending like that, I am definitely looking forward to seeing what Supernatural has in store for us next. 

My Rating: 8/10

[suf-lives-rent-free]

Fragments

Everything below is just my opinion; I am in no way trying to say that how I feel about this is the one correct take or whatever.

I know a lot of people like this episode and what happens in it, but I don’t.  I totally understand that some people just don’t want to see any negativity, period, but negativity is not inherently bad or wrong.

Negative opinions, even about something you enjoy, can be valid too - regardless of whether you happen to agree with them or not.

Also I get very salty near the end of this, and that might be entertaining to people who stan this episode?

I am aware that a lot of people – the majority, I’m pretty sure – think that the episode is a masterpiece. And on some level, I see where they’re coming from with that assessment.

The episode is boarded beautifully, the backgrounds – especially during the training montage – are stunning as always.  The music is fantastic, and the performances are great too.  In these respects, Fragments is a stand-out episode; I agree.

(Like look at this.  Gorgeous.)

However, something that’s bothered me since I saw the episode is the writers’ decision to write it into the story that Steven shatters Jasper.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: I just don’t get it.  I’m purposefully misinterpreting the story to say it’s bad.  Steven brings her back to life; and it’s not like he meant to do it in the first place.  I just don’t have the capacity to understand the sublime nature of the show’s storytelling.  I’m an SU crit and all I want to do is make the real fans feel about themselves for liking it.

Uhhhh... no.  Nah.  That ain’t it chief.

It’s true; I am not a writer.  I’m just a passive consumer of media.  However, I do not agree with the viewpoint that in order to properly understand or critique a thing you need to have the expertise and/or experience in order to make something similar.

For example, if I were to put something I drew when I was 10 years old next to something I drew yesterday, it shouldn’t take a person who has had an education in fine art to tell you that the latter drawing is better-looking than the former.

That’s how I approach media consumption and criticism; when I criticise a writing decision, I am doing so as a consumer.  I’m not saying I could write it better, or even that my opinion is objectively correct and the writer is wrong or bad.  I’m just saying that I didn’t like a thing.  Which, I would hope, is allowed?

Okay, defensive hedging over, back to the point; I don’t like that they had Steven shatter Jasper.

[I get markedly saltier from this point on, fyi]

Full admission of bias here: one of the things I really cherish about the original show is how they wrote Steven’s character; he’s a boy with interests that don’t rigidly conform to gender stereotypes.  He likes ‘boyish’ things and ‘girly’ things, and that’s okay; thats just him.  In cartoons when I was growing up, characters like Steven would be the butt of jokes about being ‘girly’ or thinly-veiled homophobia.  I find him very relatable, and I want to acknowledge that yes, that is probably a significant part of why I have such an issue with this episode’s twist.

I am not trying to say that he’s a perfect baby angel or whatever; Steven regularly gets frustrated and angry. He does some pretty manipulative and dickish things to people around him (stop trying to make Larsadie happen, Steven. It’s not going to happen).  He is a flawed character who fucks up sometimes. And he’s not 100% peaceful either; he acts violently when he defends himself against corrupted Gems and Homeworld Gems (and Crystal Gems on occasion *cough*Bismuth*cough*).  

However, he has a pacifistic temperament; whenever it’s possible, he prefers that problems be solved without needless violence or hurt.  And I like that; in most media, it’s rare to have a male protagonist who wants to solve their problems without jumping straight to punching things.

When he accidentally frees Centipeedle, he convinces the Gems to step off and allow him to try and rehabilitate her peacefully; he even notices that the Gems’ weapons are a trigger for her, and make them put them away.  He frees Lapis against the Gems’ wishes because he recognizes that keeping her prisoner is wrong, and when she steals the ocean, he talks it out and heals her so she can leave Earth peacefully.

He tries to aid Jasper when she starts corrupting, fixes Eyeball’s gemstone when she’s cracked and tries talking Bismuth down when she attacks him with the breaking point.  In all of these situations, his words and help are ignored or rejected; he’s forced to resort to violence.  And it traumatises him.  

We get an entire episode dedicated to the fact that he’s been struggling with processing these awful things that happened.

Even in Future, Steven shows hesitation about engaging in unncecessary violence; he gives into Jasper’s goading for a fight after what’s implied to be dozens of failed tries at making her come to Little Homeschool, and he spends an entire episode trying to keep Lapis from squashing the two rogue Lapis Lazulis. 

The only time he hops into a fight willingly is after Eyeball and Aquamarine hold Greg hostage, and even then they pose a clear threat to his and Greg’s safety and have made it clear that they want to hurt him emotionally and physically.  Even at that, he stops and switches tactics to talking them down as soon as they lose their focus and start bickering with each other.

(I mean, he fails.  But it’s the thought that counts.)

I personally find it really jarring that the writers found it appropriate to write it into the series that this same character – over the course of three (3) days – goes from disliking mindless violence for mindless violence’s sake to happily engaging in the destruction of plants and animals* and has done a total 180 on his willingness to spar with Jasper, to the point that he instigates their rematch.

*(You best believe plenty of small mammals and birds – y’know, like the nest Steven saved in the first episode – died as he and Jasper felled tree after tree, not to mention all of those displaced by the destruction of their habitats, and the potential loss of food sources from some of those trees.)

You’re telling me that it’s a reasonable character beat for this boy to gleefully laugh like an anime supervillain at his sudden new-found joy in fighting, then pin Jasper in place, taunt her for helping him get so strong, and hit her so hard that she breaks into pieces and dies?

You’re telling me that that’s an in-character thing for Steven Quartz Diamond Cutie-Pie DeMayo Universe do to another character?

(And yes I am purposefully dancing around talking about the mental health stuff because if I did that I’d have to go on a whole other tangent about Growing Pains and fuck I just don’t feel like it right now lmao)

Going back to Mindful Education, another big thing we see Steven struggle with is the idea that his mother shattered Pink Diamond.  This knowledge sits heavily with him; it makes him sympathetic to the Diamonds, even under the circumstances in which he sees them (escaping from the Human Zoo, and being on trial for said murder). 

He sees their grief, and he feels awful.  He questions who Rose Quartz even was.  He knows, based on what Garnet said, that Rose had to do it; there was no other way to free Earth.  But he still feels awful seeing the pain that Pink’s loss has caused Blue and Yellow Diamond.

In Steven Universe, shattering is clearly equated with execution/death multiple times.  When Pearl and Garnet fret over the crack in Amethyst’s gemstone worsening.  When Blue Diamond threatens to break Ruby.  When Bismuth introduces the breaking point, and Steven recoils at the sight of what it does.  If you want to take the fact that Gem shards are sentient and desperate to become whole again into account, you could even argue that it’s a fate worse than death. This particular act of violence is treated very, very seriously.

When we find out that Rose shattered Pink Diamond, there is a season and a half long arc unpacking the implications and consequences of this one action, and how this knowledge forever alters Steven’s mental image of his mother.  And she didn’t even kill anyone.  It was a lie!

In Steven Universe Future, Steven shatters Jasper 4 episodes before the end of the series.  And it’s only brought up twice; once for a big *gasp* moment during his breakdown in Everything’s Fine, and in I Am My Monster by Pearl, when she has to fill-in Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot.  Notably, it is never discussed around or by Jasper.  Y’know.  The person who actually died.

No indication of how (or even if) what Steven did is affecting his own self-image after his initial breakdown, how Jasper feels about what she went through beyond falling back into the Era 1 and 2 mindset.  No inkling of how the knowledge that Steven killed somebody has affected how anyone in his life thinks or feels about him; when Pearl brings it up in I Am My Monster, she seems to not even really believe it’s true.

If there are any consequences or talks about this incident, they’re skipped over between I Am My Monster and The Future, and we’re expected to assume that Steven and his therapist are dealing with it, I guess?

And yes.  It was an accident.  He did bring her back to life.  But it still happened.  If you hit someone over the head and they stop breathing, just because the paramedics are able to resusitate and stabilize them afterwards doesn’t mean you never hit them.

But here, it’s shoved aside because dwelling on it would take far too much time, and risks framing Steven in an unsympathetic way when he’s meant to be on the cusp of a breakdown.

It just feels like careless writing to me.  They really, really wanted their big action scene with Steven and Jasper, but didn’t think (or maybe weren’t interested in thinking) about the seriousness or consequences of what Steven shattering someone would entail.

In my opinion, Steven shattering Jasper is one of the cheapest, laziest things they could have ever done with his character (and hers, for that matter).  To me, the entire thing feels entirely out of character.  It’s pure shock value; nothing more.

So yeah.  That particular writing decision just does not work for me.  And if you disagree... well that’s fine?  It’s fine.  We can agree to disagree?  I’ve read a lot of defense/praise for this episode, and honestly even after processing all of those opinions and all the time my thoughts about this plotline have been stewing in my brain, I still feel the same way.