#based on a shitty joke i made to one of my irls

[everestica]

♫ - Hi! I know this really isn't my normal content and I am very sorry for that but every year around the first week or so of the new year I go back and think about everything in the past year that's happen to me and things I'd like to change etc. As much as I love my tumblr friends and community there was some pretty shitty things that did end up happening during the year and instead of talking it out (like a normal person) I have decided that instead I would use all those emotions and turn them into writings. So for my first piece of the new year it will be a Dazai x Reader, that might or might not make you cry. (almost made me cry tbh) But before you read there are some warnings listed below!!

⚠ WARNINGS ⚠ - This fic is based off the October 1930 Dazai Suicide (The IRL one) so their is quite a few suicide mentions and reader does end up dying if you did not know about that. There is no mention of readers past and you can interpreter how you like. There are refrences to No Longer Human (The book) and to Dazai in the show (BSD).

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND PLEASE READ WARNINGS BEFORE READING!

Imagine you and Dazai finally decided to commit, but only you died, the love of his life and he was still stuck in this hell. Alone.

This was finally it. The thing that Dazai had dreamed about for years on end. The thing he wanted to accomplish ever since he could remember, and here you are, the person that Dazai loved so much even after getting to know you past you saying that you would commit a double suicide with him. It had all started with him meeting you on a mission and getting down on one knee asking for a double suicide, you had already had a past and wanted to escape it in anyway you could and so you agreed, shockingly to Dazai. It was the first person that had ever actually said yes? Of course he had to make sure you weren’t joking so he got your number and had talked to you countless times, and he ended up falling in love, much to his astoundment. It had been a couple months before it was finally in both your interests to go through with it, for Dazai and his port mafia background and even before that, and you, with your personal issues that you never really brought up, keeping them separated from the world. Well, the world besides Dazai. So here you were, at a beach in Kamakura, ready to end it all. You had taken the first step thinking about everything, your whole life relieving itself as you made it to the water. Did you really want this? Or was this just an escape..? Whatever it was you didn’t have time and no matter how many times Dazai looked over at you, it was all behind you. It didn’t matter now. The water keeps getting higher until at your neck, that’s when you finally saw it. The reason for living. 

It had brought you back as you felt the water finally reaching up. Dazai Osamu. That was your reason for. 

Too late. 

It had been years, now aged 22 for the man. Atsushi had went out to go find him as he was blowing off a meeting, once again. He checked the usual places, but yet he wasn’t there.. It wasn’t until he got an update that Dazai had boarded one of the trains heading towards Kamakura. It was about an Hour before he finally found Dazai, standing at a beach of all places..? It wasn’t until he got closer that he found him putting a flower by the ocean, letting it get picked up by the waves. He looked as if he was almost crying? 

Atsushi: Uh Dazai..? 

Dazai: Oh.. Atsushi. What are you doing here?

Atsushi: Kunikida wanted me to come find you. We were having a meeting but it’s probably over by now.. Um if you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing all the way out here..? You’re not committing suicide again are you?

Dazai could only slightly laugh and turn back to where he had placed the flower, which was long gone by now, where only the waves could tell. 

Dazai: Afraid not. 

Not long after they left, heading back on the next train to Yokohama where Dazai had just mentioned somebody special was there, no more, no less. Of course Atsushi wanted to know more but it was the first time that he had almost seen Dazai cry and didn’t wanna press anymore then he had been. 

But what he’ll never know is there, on that beach in Kamakura was where he also lost the love of his life. The once who not only made his life less shameful, but one who finally gave a purpose to this thing we call living.

♫ - Please if you are going to repost any of my works anywhere else, ask permission first! There will be almost a 100% chance that I will say yes as long as you just ask and give credit! Thank you for your understanding!

[immaterial-pearl]

hello i’d like to hear your Utena thoughts 🫶 proof of my good will and Utena insanity

OKAY SO!!!!! I’m on Akio saga (today I watched the first episode of it actually) and I have spoiled some of it for myself. BUT HERE ARE SOME OF MY THOUGHTS SO FAR!!!

-I love Anthy. She’s my favourite character.

-THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD. SO GOOD. Sometimes I rewatch the duels just so I can focus on the song duels lyrics.

-Shadow girls are one of my favourite aspects of the show. Plato’s cave is a inside joke for me and my irl friend group so they quickly started living in my head rent free.

Sorry I got distracted by my roommate’s shitty dinner (stale bread cheese toasts). Anyways back to Revolutionary Girl Utena.

-Nanami episodes are great I love how well they compliment the main story. My favourite so far was the cowbell episode… It highlights how other characters tend to see Nanami as vain and shallow, even though they follow similar patterns. Like all of these characters are playing roles laid out for them, they’re following End Of The World’s script. I’m not sure if this is worded right but I hope this makes sense.

-Even though the animation is clearly made on a low budget it all works so well. Like the repetetive sequences, especially with the fact that time passes differently in Ohtori (I’m guessing they are trapped in a time loop of some sorts, caused by their inability to become adults and let go of their idealised memories).

-I loved Mikage’s whole deal and Anthy manipulating him.

-Anthy’s and Utena’s relationship!!! Obv I’m not done with the show yet but just seeing how Anthy is slowly showing more of herself to Utena, sometimes letting herself be more Anthy than Rose Bride… Also the fact that Utena seemed to ignore a lot of the power she had over Anthy early on and slowly starts to give her more space.

I love your Utena VHS tapes (I’m assuming they are that based on the shape, but I’m not sure because I can’t zoom in on them while answering the ask on mobile). I’m excited to watch more and I’m always down to chat!!!!

(I’m sorry I wrote so much I rarely get asks so this is very exciting to me).

[tem-tem-timmy]

LONG AH POST EXPLAINING MY CLIVE OCS/RECOLORS/JOKES AND OR RELATED LOL

long post, also be warned they can be out ot pocket :smiles deviously:

ben handforth is clive’s lost twin cousin brother who is an alcoholic and is married to some girl named “where’s the pp” idk why he exists he just does [his design is so oh inspiring /sar]

cameron is a parody of those sans fangirls but with clive. she was made around late 2021 [this was before the obsession started], although now she is dating clive.exe in my shitty joke creepypasta

clive.exe is a bad creepypasta joke character. the creepypasta goes that he mudered larry da vinci in the sad song of clive handforth cutscene, murdered sackboy, murdered you, kissed ur friends irl, and married cameron. him and cameron make shark bomb survival levels

[emo] clive is from a joke megaman au me and my friend made. he is dating discord woodman and friend with discord cutman. his whole thing is he lives in homeless land due to be kicked out by clive. he is a pussy. he also really likes fudge stripes, gay asf

clivette is from an unfinished LBP3 level i made called “clive’s fidget spinner factory.” where basically clive decided to invest in fidget spinners but they are doing shitty in sales, and clivette will divorce clive if he doesn’t raise them. she literally just exists

yippy clive is just tbh creature with clive’s head on it. idk not much going on

sticky stickerson is a recolor spongebobified clive i made in 2021. he is clive’s bestie westie that loves his shitty job, wife and pet fly and dog thing. he also is pretty gullible and stupid as shit but he cares about clive and his other co workers

terry is apart of sticky and gang, she manages schedules and all that. she was going to be oc x canon thing but i said nah for some reason

charlotte is basically what terry was gonna be. she likes drugs and gambling and overall bad shit but for reason saw clive and was like “yeahh i like that one ☝️😍” and they’re dating or something

blue was a custom i got from my friend that was basically based off tem and clive. he is apart of tem story and they are tem’s uncle, he owns a mall in puffa fucka

clark was born from some shitty geometry doodle, he isn’t too significant he is just a fun design i made one day.

cliff was THE original clive furry. he has no lore or anything he just exists for me to draw [and i love him for that]

its literally just clive but as a flien [an og species i made]. idk why it has a toyhouse page this genuinely belongs in my trash alt 😭

neptune was based off a friends oc, but clive themed and personal lore. she has connections with blue but she’s kinda like cliff where they’re just a fun design i have

human sona,, his name is clive unoriginal ik,,, his lore is mostly around a group dubbed “the autism gang” aka human ocs i have weird attachment to

THATS ALL LOLLOLOL IF U WENT THRU THAT THANKZ Ummmm guys im normal about clive

[dino-doodles]

Throwing this on main because truly I don't give a shit anymore. If you know me irl no you don't on this one. Ranting time. I'm so fucking sick of not being able to enjoy any piece of media without it being soured by a morally good character still telling fat jokes or insulting people based on their body or body checking or all that shit. Maybe I just want to watch a TV show without being reminded that my body is considered defective. I'm sick of feeling too sensitive and I'm sick of shutting down at things people consider stupid. I engage with media to have fun and relax. Why are fucking cartoons putting me on the defensive?? Can they just fucking not? Please for the love of God what if we just had a cute ass show where there is a fat character that isn't a bully, their weight isn't fucking symbolic of anything, they aren't lazy, food isn't their whole thing, they aren't made fun of, what fucking if? Thank you Faith comics. Thank you season 5 Diane from Bojack horseman. Thank you regrettably Steven Universe but you're on thin ice. Can I just fucking breathe sometimes. Jesus. I get that other groups have it this bad or worse but this isn't about that. I understand I'm not fucking special. ALSO I'm sick of every character with an eating disorder being a stick thin teenage girl. Believe it or fucking not a majority of people with restrictive eating disorders have larger bodies. It's almost like being reminded constantly that people think you're disgusting and would hate to have a body like yours makes people not want to have a body like that anymore. I hate the narrative of a thin character having anorexia for like one episode and the moral boils down to "no you don't need to change yourself. You're beautiful.", and then the silent "and you aren't even fat." I hate thin characters looking in the mirror and seeing a fat body. That's not how it works. Having anorexia doesn't make your eyes dysfunctional. There are so many fucking people who believe a fat person can't even have anorexia. So many people get sick and go entirely untreated because they can't even recognize they have an illness. I lost 40 fucking pounds and didn't realize it was unhealthy until like 3 years later because even after that I was still chubby and no one did anything but encourage me. I'm sorry if you know me and are reading this and didn't know that yet but when does that even come up. Having this scene of a thin character look at a fake fat reflection isn't how anorexia works and doesn't work as a psa. A lot of people have fat bodies and look at their normal reflections and are still made to feel immoral, incorrect, and deformed. It's fucked up! Your body is fine. Your face is fine. And miss me with the "it's ok to be heavy SO LONG AS YOU'RE HEALTHY" bullcrap. No one's weight should have matter when it comes to if they are treated like a person or not. You don't owe anyone health to be human. That's not even possible for people with medical conditions or disabilities. Miss me with the fucking "you did this to yourself narrative". Smokers aren't treated with nearly the same level of disgust and they ACTUALLY do that to themselves! People will do so much to justify their shitty fatphobic ideas rather than just recognize maybe it's a them problem. Fucking hell.

[freevoidman]

I was talking to IRL friends about this but genuinely based on the bullshit Atlus is pulling with P3R, here’s my easily predictable roadmap for the next 3 years:

Early 2024: Persona 3 Reload releases with minor content from FES (Aigis social link and Elizabeth dates, maybe)

Early 2025-Mid 2025: The Answer is released as DLC, probably around $20.

2027: Persona 3 Reloaded releases, includes the FeMC route and more features from FES!

(in case you’re missing the joke here it’s Atlus’ shitty business practice leading to the exact same scenario that made fans want a remake in the first place: to avoid having multiple versions and having one, modern version with all of the highlights)

[selamat-linting]

so, last time i left off on homestuck, i was introduced with the cherubs, and meenah peixes' bizarre (afterlife) adventure. as always, some thoughts :

-i kinda feel bad for dirk lol. out of all the group, he was the one caliborn felt is the most tolerable to talk to. and worst of all, he kinda let him play his shitty games. eugh, if that was me, i'd just scoff at caliborn's threats on killing his sister and accidentally kickstarted the apocalypse too early since my ignorance pissed him off. to be fair, the porn drawing game feels like a pretty lackcluster attempt at trolling. its so cute how dirk draw himself kissing his crush.

-poor calliope though. last time i saw her she's very much a ghost, maybe stuck around the furthest ring along with the other very dead ghosts, but is somehow able to subtly influence things like guide caliborn into doing his quest from the viewport, and allegedly maybe stop meenah and vriska from having their duel and waking up john. this is only a maybe though, im not very convinced at my perception of events here.

-speaking of calliope and caliborn, this is where things started getting meta right? homestuck has always have a bit of metafiction elements to it, and a lot of its themes seems to be deconstructing and examining popular culture. act 6 is where things started getting off the rails, i mean, where references to internet subcultures gets more blatant, more up to date with the current time it was made (direct meme references instead of making its own inner jokes derived from irl shit like sbahj), and started to put a mirror on homestuck since it has grown into a notorious major fandom now. it makes sense that hussie would start writing about homestuck instead writing about the internet in general. there is no way act 6 can be something else. and it has its negatives just as much as it has its positives

-first of all, meme references in media has always been hard to do right. remember that burger ad fiasco? some of the jokes on act 6 doesnt land as well as in act 5 and 4

-wait shit i went off the rails. i want to talk about caliope and caliborn first. caliope is a hypothetical fan of hs meanwhile caliborn is a hater right? he was also a representation of misogyny which fits with the times. a lot of cringe culture ppl in the 2010s, at least the loudest ones, tend to be misogynists. i've seen the case over and over again. people who said they hate the fandom when actually they just hate to see teen girls having fun. they also tend to be ableists esp their attitude around bullying and autistic ppl but hussie is also an ableist too, so even though he was the one being bullied by cringe culture people online and benefitted from autistic kids making fanworks, he made caliborn to be the guy with a learning disability. hilarious bitch ig.

-but other than that, caliope's insult to caliborn implies that the murder he did was detrimental to his growth as person. not just metaphorically, but literally. im not so up to date with cherub lore and alien biology, but killing your headmate before their natural death and integration Sounds Bad. and based on calliope's word alone, it might even make caliborn perpetually stunted in cherub equivalent of puberty forever, unable to reach maturity. poor dude. but, is actually a pretty good commentary on toxic masculinity preventing one's full growth as a person because he can't allow himself to gain emotional maturity and do so called female activities.

-okay, moving on from the cherubs. the dancestors. personally, i like their designs, i spesifically love meenah, porrim, and aranea. meenah is scratching the vriska itch but with a different flavor. and i guess kankri, despite his massive annoying factor was nice too. i know a kid who actually act like him. the kid in my town went drunk with his friends and when his friends started being sad about his ex, the kid called him a sexist pig. a few weeks later i got news that this same kid persistently try get girls into having sex with him. educating him was a bitch and a half yknow and im not even that sad the kid decides to withdraw from organizing for now. but it is a bit hopeful to see that a kid like kankri, in another timeline, if given the chance to grow up and learn would be a terrific leader. maybe a few years later the kid in my town would change too?

-but other than that its... man how do i say this. okay, its bad. a lot of the characters are just there just for the sake of having to be there. hussie, you dont have to complete all 12 of the dancestors its okay. youre just wasting more energy animating stuff that you obviously dislike by now. like idc what they says, but the 12 dancestors wasnt even a good mirror of tumblr subcultures. its just there as a one off gag instead of something they wants to delve into later on. the jokes wasnt even that funny like, i've spent two years on reddit making fun of softboy nice guys and gamer gurls the joke is old at this point. and hussie seems to delve deeper into being an ableist asshole the more people criticize them. its pathetic to make a strawman character of your haters and criticizers. honestly, caliborn would have been a better character if its just a stand in for toxic masculinity instead of a homestuck hater. the story is too bloated at this point. just give it a rest.

-also, act 6 weakness is that most of the story elements would fly over someone who never know the heydays of 2012-2015 tumblr. okay, this applies to homestuck as a whole honestly. like its about the internet and american 90s nostalgia. only a terminally online person would fully appreciate it. but dear god the mental illnes you'll get if youre one of lucky demographics to understand... hussie might have hit and miss on some things, but when they're right theyre right. i do think there are merits on making things that will never have mass appeal.

-okay, now thats out of my system im gonna say that from now on, im not gonna take homestuck as seriously as i did yesterday. i can see this is the point where things started to fall apart. bloated character sets, too many authorial self inserts, plot is becoming overly convoluted, the social commentary are becoming incoherent. hussie can make an entire page about dirk explaining the downfall of western civilization using historical materialism to jake but this will always be the webcomic where the 'scariest' troll is a rapper who made vodka pie, slept in a bed of honks, and taped wings on his godtier cosplay.

-okay this is getting too long. on to facking part 2 of my post!!!!

[spaceumbredoggos]

Kenz x Bill in So Much for Stardust is part satire against Billdip/Billford shipping and part satisfying my urge to let Bill do things to me that are dangerous to anyone’s mental health. Thats why a lot of his iffy behavior is implied and not outright said in detail. Kenz X Bill by definition is a proship, and it’s more so told as a person escaping lifetimes of abuse rather than the abuse and relationship itself.

Kenz won’t end up with someone romantically in the end (maybe with Bee way way way after the events of So Much For Stardust.) All those scenes where Kenz is getting romantically involved with consenting adults is them indulging in an unhealthy coping mechanism or being a slave to their Umbredoggo biology. Which is another plot device I use as satire for omegaverse and the furry community. It’s not being mean making fun of the furry community or omegaverse, it is more so an inside joke made to make fun of the fact that furries are cringe and kinda into anthropomorphic animals, most notably wolves and foxes. A lot of So Much For Stardust’s plot is dramatically written edgy satire poking fun at proships, omegaverse, forced religious plot lines (think all the prophecy shit that happens in warrior cats, which is where a fuck ton of the hellverse shit comes up), and authority figures being major idiots (My interpretation of the Axolotl is that he’s a major Cornelius Fudge level idiot that decays into a state of self preservation.)

The reason why Ford and the Pines are generally friends with IMP and there’s no general hatred for hellborn demons and hellaverse characters is because Gravity Falls is a general place of religious trauma. Also, I like to write Ford and Stolas having some sort of crush on each other but it’s very minor and it’s more an excuse to write two confused owls try to figure out parenting adult children with Blitzø. Kenz fits the role as Ford’s adoptive child, and a lot of Kenz’s angst comes from general hatred for parental figures.

I had a feeling that it would be shitty to remove Kenz from their family, but the reason I did that was because one, I wanted to showcase how powerful Bill had gotten, two, I wanted to use this to poke fun of the forced religious plot, and three, I am processing how close to homelessness I myself have gotten too, and how easily I could end up alone myself. A lot of Kenz’s backstory is based on my own that is dramatized (bill didn’t fuck up my childhood and things happen for a reason) and So Much For Stardust is basically about healing from generations of trauma.

Rabid Dipper is my love letter to whump. I want there to be a shit ton of romantic tension between Kenz and Dipper later on, without it getting gross. I had a crush on Dipper as a kid, and now I see him as something to protect. Like an adorable baby cactus or a baby crocodile with Cheerios balanced on his head. Not in a pedo way, more like a protective older sibling way.

That being said, Kenz (not IRL Kenz, being me) would be a shitty partner but an amazing friend. Kenz often goes through back and forth phases of being super promiscuous to being completely abstinent, mostly due to umbredoggo biology. Kenz tried to basically use sex as a coping mechanism. Kenz has a lot of intimacy issues and trauma, and I write more of those than the sex itself. Kenz is far better at platonic relationships, and loves physical contact. They’re touch starved.

Kenz’s autism isn’t because they’re part Umbredoggo. They’d be autistic without it. A lot of the Umbredoggo stuff is also me trying to figure out my own non-physical identity. As a kid, I would identify as a cat and would hiss at my father from the trees in the yard. I still question if I’m a therian or otherkin a lot of times, and I’m scared to come out. I’m scared to age regress or pet regress or to involve myself in the therian/otherkin community because of my fear of loss of autonomy, something that Kenz deals with all the fucking time.

Anyways, Check out So Much For Stardust. I update it at least once weekly on this blog. Once it’s done, it will be posted on Wattpad, Quotev, and AO3. I work super hard on this fanfic and I would really appreciate if it got the love I feel it deserves. It’s in its initial rough draft phase, and even when all the chapters are written, I still won’t be done with it. I still have to write more drafts of the chapters and eventually make a final draft. There’s a whole multiverse involved with alternate versions of Kenz from alternate universes (A Pokemon version, a warrior cats version, a Pokemon mystery dungeon version. Fuck. They’re even a FNAF animatronic version.) This blog is basically all about the Kenzverse (Yeah, that’s what I’ll call it.)

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

#Also why is Frankie's mom a fucking goblin#like thats so... random#like yeah good for Victor for getting a shortstack baddie but I feel like she should have been a ghost or something more gothic#monster high

...Wait... EDIT: *Girl he's probs not even "gotten" or married to her they're probably gonna chalk this up in g3 canon to being Asexual Representation TM for the sake of being "diverse" and giving g3 fans even more of an excuse to shit on the original fandom and say shit like: "It's so good that they made him an asexual uggo in a platonic friendship like that bc i think Freaky Fusion had some questionable inc*stuous undertones that made me personally uncomfy.... UWU" or whatever.

Well, we can thank god at least g3 will be over soon and will hopefully never come back ...

Every time something new happens to make this show/g3 get more and more disgusting and blasphemous to look at I seriously can't believe how my "friends" used to directly tag me in/make me look at posts about this garbage just because it was Monster High, even when I would specify to people over and over again how I only preferred/collected g1... And then I got banned from the server for essentially posting some unfinished sketch fanart of a Hazbin Hotel character as a joke?

... Not to fucking mention the guy who played the bad guy teacher in that first shitty live action nickelodeon movie all these bad character designs are based on and the woman who voice acts for Charlie Morningstar in the official Hazbin Hotel Prime Video Series are apparently married irl but whatever... I wouldn't have been able to even talk about that anymore with my friends who would resolve to keep tagging me in mhg3 posts while I couldn't talk about Hazbin because Hazbin was deemed the one with the "ugly" art style by a Goth Lady who liked Emily The Strange and a Poser who liked Pusheen .......

Right.

...Right.

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY BOY????

MATTEL PLEASE

[magdaluxe]

it was a lot funnier in my head also im never drawing zuke ever again

[incomprehensiblelentils]

I posted 4,186 times in 2022

That's 590 more posts than 2021!

89 posts created (2%)

4,097 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@purlturtle

@mystery-ink

@theomenroom

@loved-the-stars-too-fondly

@jenny-dreadful

I tagged 3,421 of my posts in 2022

Only 18% of my posts had no tags

#fuck - 247 posts

#lmao - 171 posts

#animals - 163 posts

#art - 158 posts

#stories - 151 posts

#omfg - 141 posts

#eels - 128 posts

#goncharov - 102 posts

#the magnus archives - 91 posts

#oh my god - 81 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#lol my college roommate’s dad said ‘’i feel like you’re hiding something bc you keep looking around the room while you talk and not at me’’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hey how fucking dare Jake just casually say “tell me your feelings and I’ll tell you I need you” IN A SHORT REST WHILE NOT ACTUALLY RP’ING AS HARDWON AND NOBODY COMMENTED ON IT I’M????????????? just casually busting out one of the most romantic lines I’ve ever heard like it’s nothing Jesus Christ

50 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

#4

If I ever write a sex scene that doesn’t involve some element of praise kink, it’d be one of those “things I post to clue my followers in that I’ve been kidnapped” memes

77 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

#3

I lost the post I was trying to reblog about how it’s sexist of fandom to make jokes about the token lady character of a particular media being the Braincell Holder of the male-majority group, but what I was gonna say was the great thing about NADDpod is that in every single campaign the Braincell Holder is absolutely NOT the lady PC under any circumstances. Emily Axford would NEVER

77 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

#2

i need recommendations for some lesbian movies. My wife wants to watching something gay, but is tired of gay men's movies

oh gosh I am so sorry I'm just now getting to this - I was out of town the whole weekend and got back yesterday evening, when my brain was melting out my ears from the heat. without further ado!

I have categorized this list into a few sections:

Well-Made/"Good" Movies I Can Vouch For

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019): you have probably heard of this, but in case you haven't, it's a French historical drama about a painter who is commissioned to do a wedding portrait for a reluctant bride-to-be. It's lush, emotional, bittersweet, and breathtakingly shot. Content warnings: mention of a minor character's suicide, brief abortion scene featuring a secondary character, one scene of the leads doing drugs together.

Saving Face (2004): This is a lovely film about a young Chinese surgeon who is juggling her secret relationship with the drama her mother causes. Content warnings: intergenerational trauma.

Carol (2014): Again, you've probably heard of this one - it's another historical drama, this one based on Patricia Highsmith's novel The Price of Salt. A young aspiring photographer is captivated by a mysterious woman named Carol. After Portrait came out I find myself not as enamored of this one (I think Rooney Mara is not very good in it lmao), but it's a lovely film worth a watch. Content warnings: period-typical homophobia, Carol's shitty husband.

The Half of It (2020): From the director of Saving Face, this is a high-school coming of age movie inspired by Cyrano de Bergerac, in which a second-generation Chinese girl ends up volunteering to write love letters to her crush, "from" the jock who is also in love with said crush. Some really beautiful stuff about immigrant Chinese families in here, and I was really touched by the friendship between the two leads. Content warnings: racism, homophobia, bullying, intergenerational trauma.

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): This is based on the life of William Marston, creator of Wonder Woman, and his partners Elizabeth and Olive. I am given to understand that the relationship between the two women was probably not romantic IRL, but I really love the way the movie treats both the triad and the women as a couple. I also think the BDSM stuff is cute. Content warnings: age gap/power differential romance (two professors and their TA), homophobia including a brief violent attack, brief cancer subplot towards the end of the film.

Summerland (2020): A WWII movie about the bond between a reclusive writer and the young boy she is reluctantly forced to care for due to the London evacuations. I will spoil this for you because it gave me severe anxiety: the lesbians both live to the end, and they get to raise their son together! My main complaint is not enough Gugu Mbatha-Raw. Content warnings: WWII imagery/setting, parent death (offscreen but significant part of the plot), brief child peril.

The Favourite (2018): This is a weird little black comedy about two cousins who are vying to be the favored paramour of Queen Anne in 18th century Britain. It's some fun fucked-up drama. Content warnings: animal abuse/death (toward the end of the film), manipulation, non-consensual drugging.

I Can't Think Straight (2008): I haven't seen this one since college but I remember liking it - it's about two women, one Palestinian and one Indian, who meet and fall in love despite unlikely circumstances. Content warnings: cheating (one character is engaged to a man).

V For Vendetta (2005) - in case you forgot, this has lesbians! Content warnings: torture, attempted sexual assault, hanging, child death, panic attack, homophobia/dead lesbians

Birds of Prey (2020) - Harley Quinn is canonically bisexual! Also I love this movie. Content warnings: cartoonish violence, graphic torture including of a child, child death (implied/heard), implied sexual assault by the villain (of a minor character).

Booksmart (2019): High school comedy about two best friends who decide they're sick of being dweebs and want to go to a cool party before they graduate. I think it's largely delightful and I love the lesbian character's story. However, the subplot with the teacher who has sex with her (19yo) student is BAD and I won't defend it, nor will I judge anyone for wanting to skip based on that. Content warnings: extended non-con drugged sequence (played for laughs/nothing bad happens to them), aforementioned age gap/power differential romance (secondary characters).

But I'm a Cheerleader (1999): Clea Duvall and Natasha Lyonne star in a satire of conversion therapy camps, also featuring young Dante Basco. Personally I think it keeps things light and silly enough not to trigger me with the religious rhetoric. Content warnings: conversion camp setting and corresponding conservative Christian rhetoric, general homophobia, uh, RuPaul is here at one point?

In the Heights (2021): This movie is very much not perfect, chiefly for the colorism in the casting choices. BUT I like that Daniela and Carmen are gay now. Content warnings: racism, prejudice against undocumented individuals, grandparent death.

Movies I Think You Should Watch Maybe - Are They Good? I Couldn't Say!

D.E.B.S. (2004): This is a deeply silly movie about an all-girls' spy school in which the star pupil falls in love with international supercriminal Lucy Diamond, directed by queer icon Angela Robinson and featuring lesbian grandma Holland Taylor as the headmaster. Content warnings: cartoonish (PG-13) gun violence.

Imagine Me & You (2005): This was baby's first f/f movie for me, and so it has a very special place in my heart even though it is Problematic because it's about a lady cheating on her husband with Lena Headey, and also nobody remembered bisexuality exists so they say "lesbian" pretty exclusively and that sucks. Lena Headey and Piper Perabo are so good together though, and I genuinely like everyone in this movie. Content warnings: cheating (one character is married to a man).

Happiest Season (2020): Do not @ me this is MY movie!!! Kristen and Mackenzie are PERFECT. Content warnings: homophobia, manipulative behavior, one weirdly intense interrogation scene with mall cops that frankly should've been cut, mentioned fish death.

A Simple Favor (2018): This movie...it is batshit. If you like trashy drama, you will probably like this movie! Linda Cardellini plays a lesbian artist and I love her so much. Content warnings: manipulation, murder, incest (adult half-siblings not raised together), intense discussion of murder-suicide, gun violence

The Falling (2014): This movie is also batshit and not good, but I need more people to watch it, because I've seen it four times and I have no idea what it's trying to say. It features Maisie Williams and Florence Pugh as British boarding school teens who have an intense "friendship" and then suddenly everyone in the school starts having collective fainting spells. Please, I just need to find the person out there who gets what this movie is doing so they can explain it to me. Content warnings: unexplained medical issues (fainting), seizures, incest (consensual? sex scene), attempted suicide, grief, discussion of sexual assault and trauma therein (secondary character)

A New York Christmas Wedding (2020): This movie is ALSO batshit in a completely different way than the other two, and again, I need someone to explain it to me. It's, uh, sort of It's a Wonderful Life but with a bisexual heroine, and some batshittery along the way? Content warnings: suicide (secondary character), teen pregnancy, weird pro-life vibes, parent death, way too much church, homophobia, Chris Noth

Movies I Haven't Yet Seen Which Have Been Recc'd To Me

Crush (2022)

Pariah (2011)

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (2020)

Fear Street Trilogy (2021)

The Handmaiden (2016)

149 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Wild mass guessing about the theme of the Dimension 20 sidequest being announced tomorrow, loosely ranked from most to least likely with reasoning:

Fairy tale remix (this has been thrown around as a suggestion in fandom before, just seems like a fun idea)

Superheroes (potentially with the Masks system, though I know Chapter and Multiverse is doing a shorter campaign with that system right now)

Unsleeping City spin-off, possibly prequel with mentioned characters (not sure if Brennan would want someone else DMing in this world, I just think it would be neat)

Horror survival campaign (PVP/permadeath more likely with guest players, but might be too intense/dark for the D20 brand. BUT Brennan just DM’d EXU Calamity and was a goddamn nightmare over there)

Mice and Murder s2 with partial or all new cast (possibly new DM, but unsure how popular s1 was comparatively)

Misfits and Magic s2 (Erika and Aabria are very busy but four episodes could’ve been filmed in a couple weekends at most)

Real Housewives RPG DM’d by Izzy Roland (funniest possible option; extremely unlikely)

Warrior cats (I lied. this is the funniest possible option)

206 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jayt23]

So, here's my opinion on the people I know irl based on their personality types and stuff

So, since I'm an introvert and it would be boring to just put my friends and family here, I'm just gonna include random people I know, like some trainers of this medical gym I go to for my health(I literally don't know what you call these but whatev)

I'm just gonna start with my favorite, INFP: So the people I know who have this type are: My lil sister, my mother, two of my friends, my crush and probably some other people I'm forgetting. Literally I can just dump my random knowledge on them and they're too shy to complain, so thanks for that Ig.

Next is the same but now it's extroverted 😱 ENFP:

People I know w/ that type: My best friend and also basically half of the YouTubers I watch. So obviously I like their humor, but the one I know personally is like the most pessimistic person I know so like, do your job? I definitely shouldn't be the person spreading positivity in our friend group, I suck at that lol.

I don't really have to say much about the next one, aka INFJ. I have one friend and like five online friends with that type and online stuff was all pleasant and the INFJ I know personally pretty much just sits in a corner and reads fanfic the whole time without talking to anyone. She could literally just lock herself in a room with noone to talk to and would be totally fine, but will talk shit back at you if you insult someone she cares about.

ENFJ: One of my trainers, my big sister, my german teacher. My sister constantly tries to improve my life and tells me inspiring shit I already heard thousands of times. The other two pretty much wanna adopt me? My trainer literally always says my name after every sentence and doesn't do that's with others like what's up with that? The teacher always tries to make me say stuff in class because she knows I'm really good at it and it gets annoying at times but it's also nice in a way.

I'm not really doing these in an order, just wanna get the sensors done. ISFP: I don't think I know any of them personally l, but I've always got a soft spot for them. I know like two ISFP YouTubers and both are really precious and sensitive, y'know?

ESFP: My music teacher and one of my trainers. I don't like the tbh, I'm like his favorite or something, always being like "Was that gonna be your answer too?" When I put my hand up but didn't get picked. It was really weird and I didn't like it. The trainer on the other hand is really nice and made me feel more at ease when I first went there

ISFJ: My dad, but I also wanna talk about them in fiction. Two ISFJ I really hate are Superman and Captain America, the former I can still endure to an extent, but I think if there's no saving the ladder for me. My dad is pretty good, we just don't have much to talk about really, he also really avoids conflict and tries to kinda suck it up.

ESFJ: One of my trainers but we barely talk. I don't even really know what to say about her, I remember this one time when I put back a mat and she said I didn't have to and that she would take care of it and I was like "Yeah, but it's on the way, because I left my shoes there y'know?" And then we just stared at each other for a few seconds, that's basically all interactions I had with her.

ISTP: The best friend of a friend I'm gonna come back later to. Pretty much anything you've heard about ISTPs lives with this guy, he's like just quietly sitting on his phone and makes a sarcastic remark every hour or so. We joke about reading porn, that's pretty much it and if we're left alone it's just awkward silence intensified.

ESTP: A jerk who was probably into me in like fifth grade and a fictional character I could write a full personality analysis on. Although they tend to kinda be jerks I don't like personally, I can appreciate their existence and the chaos they bring.

ISTJ: My ex-therapist. Could be wrong about him, but honestly who cares? I was a patient for like two months then he had to move, so yikes. Therapy with him was fine. He would be like "Here's a few solutions to your problem, pick one and move on to your next problem." And I would be like "Oh these are just shitty advices, I'm just gonna do it my way" so I actually got better, whaddya know?

ESTJ: I don't really know with this one, I don't know any ESTJs personally and they're often just these traditional assholes and I know it's hard to write a healthy one, but I barely know any so... Idk

INTP: My type, if you haven't realized from the 'ENFJs want to adopt me' part. Don't know any in person and I tend to not really like them in fiction, there's like two I like, one of which being healthy and the other is just too relatable to me to hate him.

ENTPs: My other best friend and the best friend of the ISTP, but also the clown of my class and my math teacher. Ironically all of them hate each other. Tbh it's just nice to talk to the ENTP I'm friends with and play videogames together, the only problem is that he doesn't like my ENFP friend, since he is one of the most sarcastic people you could know and she doesn't get sarcasm like at all. In fiction I like them for their chaos, similar to ESTPs, but also because of their humor. The only ENTP I dislike and know of is Iron Man and I don't even know why. The class clown hates me and is pretty much failing in every class but german and English and my math teacher is really sarcastic but also has a soft spot for me because I'm really talented at math.

INTJ: one of my trainers and an online friends. My conversations with the latter so far all have been one of us talking about our favorite of something, mostly naming two things and the other sharing one of the favorites but preferring something else over the other. In short, we have so much in common that we would probably like anything the other also likes, but have enough differences in taste to have stuff to recommend. The trainer on the other hand really just leaves me alone. There was this one time he went to leave but he had told me he'd show me an exercise earlier so I kinda just waited to see and one of the other trainers had to help us communicate while we stared at each other since we both didn't really want to communicate with each other.

ENTJ: Idk, I'd love to meet one but at the same time not? They're like the perfect match for INTPs or whatever and I can see why but I don't know them enough to really say anything about them.

So, this is it and I don't really know why I stayed up until like 3 A.M to finish this but whatev

[fourangers]

Hi Fourangers,

First of all, I love your blog so much. It's like going through a history back when Naruto Manga chapters were released weekly and your reviews were so Golden, Hilarious and spot-on. Am a new fan though (especially an SNS fan), I just got into this fandom only this year. I don't know if you'll answer my ask, but I just wanted to try and ask you few questions and I pray that you might answer me....

1. Since you've written in a post that you were active in the eastern part of the fandom, How was chapter 698 received in Japan? Because this is the chapter I inherently realized they both love each other. Yeah, I was too late but somehow whenever they interact with each other in previous chapters I always find them to be 'Weird' for just to be friends. Chapter 698 is just blatantly obvious that they love each other. Considering Homophobia and Shounen genre, I have no idea how it was perceived over there back then in 2014.

2. Which scene made you to ship SNS?

3. As an SNS'er how do you feel about the ending, where everyone was married off when they were just 19 just to make some shitty sequel??? As a new fan, I felt betrayed and It would've been perfect if they had stopped at chapter 699, leaving an open ending.

4. How do you face with the accusation about Naruto and Sasuke as brothers and we, SNS'ers are Incest shippers??? I don't care about that Indra and Ashura thing. But Naruto himself told he considers Sasuke as his Brother couple of times. And in Chapter 699, Sasuke acknowledged, 'He finally understood what it meant'.... It's the only thing that confuses me and I don't even have an answer!!! Plus, Kishi himself gave an interview that he based Sasuke on his Brother... I really wonder how he gave such an interview when he literally made them wear necklaces with each other's faces.

5. How was Naruto and Sasuke's sexuality perceived in the fandom back then??? Man!! Kishimoto just made lot of comic reliefs on their sexuality by making Sasuke on Sai jutsu, Naruto not interested in Icha Icha but making Reverse Harem no Jutsu, Naruto was angry when Konohamaru made Boy on Boy jutsu whereas he had no problem with him doing it. LOL. And all those homoerotic posters. What do you think about their sexuality, personally??

6. Why did Kishi had to develop their bond as Soulmates with some unintentional or intentional romantic undertones, if he was eventually going to pair them up with girls??? He easily could've gave many such romantic tropes to other girls and keep the bond between N and S as purely friendship or brothers. It still would've made sense.

7. Final one, Was Naruto really Nosebleeding when Kurama made a joke about Sasuke's kiss in Chapter 572???? We had a lot of heated discussion with other shippers where they claim that it was just a splotch of snot.

Sorry for the lengthy ask....... I am so eager to know your answers and I don't want to spam your ask box by sending multiple asks.

Thanks 😊😊😊

Hey yo! Welcome new SNS fan! I'm so glad that you joined us and I'll try to answer as best as I can. I'm not very active here on tumblr (except browsing lol) but your ask was such a delight to read.

1. I honestly don't remember. I think I didn't follow the japanese boards until the eventual 699-700 disaster. People were craving for reactions and I was curious about it too lol. And well...it's been years, I doubt I'll be able to find the reactions from that time. Imo, most readers don't care much about pairings, they just wanted to read about power-ups and abilities and the basic Naruto Vs Sasuke. Though there are some backhanded jokes about how gay Naruto is for Sasuke.

2. Hah. It's going to be very anti-climatic but it was when Naruto and Sakura were eating in Ichiraku Ramen. Naruto just used Rasenshuriken against Kakuzu and he busted his arm. Sakura was healing his arm and her attention was focused on Naruto. I used to be a NaruSaku shipper so I thought "Oh hey! This is the moment that Naruto would have a candid romantic moment!" But nope. He talked about Sasuke. And I was already getting suspicious about Sasuke's feelings towards Naruto ya know? And the whole "SASUKE IS MIINEEEEEE" in Orochimaru's lair. It was that moment I thought "you only have Sasuke in your head don't you, Naruto?" and started shipping SNS.

3. Hooo boy was I surprised when it was suddenly revealed that they had the basic heteronormative, boring marriage with bunch of clones of themselves. Everyone thought that it was almost like a bad fanfiction come true and some thought that it was fake. It was a pandemonium lolololol. I also thought that it was too lame to be true and lo and behold, when it came true I was floored. And then whenever Kishimoto threw new material, I got insanely pissed off because S*arada and B*ruto becoming pairing material is ok because they are a girl and a boy, and then they paralleled with Naruto and Sasuke which are only FRIENDS because they are both men. ARGH. Open ending was what Kishimoto planned from the very beginning but wrote a sequel to earn more money.

In that aspect, I made peace with it because of the whole anime/manga industry. I learned that, as a mangaka, you don't earn a lot of money with selling books, but rather with merchandise and profiting with sales right. And that guy have a family to raise, have two kids (which is hilarious about how B*ruto movie is his self-insert story), he needs a steady income. Also, I read reports about how anime studios are so poor and animators don't receive a decent income not to mention they are overstaffed and tired, and B*ruto is a good money cow for them to earn money so they can invest later on other anime they have more passion about it. So even though I hate this story with a strength of thousands suns, they are putting meal on people's tables and making them pay rents. I'm ok.

4. Lemme roll my eyes because in the Last movie they said that Hinata is related to Kaguya and so is the Uzumaki and Uchiha clan so they are all related woo hoo. But in the aspect of brothers because reincarnations bla bla bla, didn't Naruto himself said that he's no longer that brother, he's himself? Hmm...I gotta re-read it. One day. Maybe. lol. But I'm sure that he said "Sasuke is not my brother but I'm sure we'll understand well as friends" so there. Honestly, there are a lot of interviews out there and a lot of them are fake, so I'd always take the interviews with a grain of salt lololol. I do know from artbooks that Kishimoto wanted to create Sasuke as a rival-esque character and that was it. As he was developing Sasuke and Naruto's relationship, since he liked the whole yin-yang concept, whenever he wrote Naruto's story, Sasuke's was developed at the same time as his shadow.

5. I can tell from Naruto Forums (I used to participate back in that day) MOST of the non-shippers thought it was gay as hell, but you know...it was a relic of that time. While they thought it was gay, they didn't put too much thought about you know? Because it was shounen, and we knew that it was a joke that it couldn't be taken seriously. Of course, in the SNS fandom, we did make more analysis and there were a lot of instance when Naruto and Sasuke's sexuality was questioned. Some other non-shippers also thought that Naruto was totes gay for Sasuke (including a IRL friend).

Imo, Naruto is definitely bisexual in my view. Sasuke I think he's asexual or gay. He's attracted to Naruto, but mostly because of his connection to him, not because of his physical attributes, so yeah...asexual. Or Pansexual. Sasuke is more complicated lmao. Imo, Naruto could be pansexual too, come to think about it. Yeah, I guess both being pansexual can be valid.

6. He developed Naruto and Sasuke being soulmates from the very beginning, that was proven in his comments in artbooks and in the manga. He probably created with the intention of making it purely platonic, going beyond physical ties. Then he shot himself on the foot by drawing Naruto thinking about Sasuke on bed, talking about how Sasuke is cool, meanwhile Sasuke waxing poetic about how Naruto saved him. What gives? Lol. Yeah, I think he got too enamored writing their relationship that he didn't have time to write romantic ones. What I noticed that Sakura's popularity never was really high, so I could see some editors putting their fingers all over it and making her less relevant. Also, Kishimoto didn't know how to handle her, so when she got her time to shine was the whole fake confession disaster. Coupled with Kishimoto sexism and, in his words (Kurenai's flashback), women are useful to spout more babies, women was never really relevant in his story, unfortunately. Even Kaguya who was technically the big bad boss, was never really fleshed out in comparison to Madara. So the null het romantic moments it's not because he wanted to elevate SNS moments, it's more about how he's incompetent about it. It's either Hinata slowly elevating to a relevant status because forced interaction (Pain's sacrifice and Neji's death) or Sakura being obligated to be pining over Sasuke because she's a girl. It's even more painful to see that, if we ignore B*ruto, both girls are shown to be just talking with their kids and dusting shelves, basically being housewives, even though thorough the story (especially Sakura) it was implied that both of them have much more potential than being their husband accessories.

7. It was a splotch of snot. I can confirm myself lol. Whenever the chapter is out and fans would scan it to scanlate it, the editor usually would amp up contrast to max. So usually the lines get much more thicker than usual, when you read the official release which gets straight from the source, you can notice how the lines are more delicate.

Oh lol...but then we also have a lot of controversy about translating style. THAT one is a whole new can of worms to open.

Man I had fun answering your questions! Please send more :P

[kirksfattitties]

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

[dreamingofscully]

The Wrong Side of the Bed

Rating: Explicit Length: 4427 words Classification: Established MSR, Slight angst, Season 7, Smut Exchange 2020 Summary: Smut Exchange 2020. Prompt from @crescentmoon223​: After a frustrating day at the office, Scully gets bossy in the bedroom.

Notes: Thank you to my wonderful betas. @fragilevixenfic​ you are so quick, detailed and wonderful with your feedback. @AweburnPhoenix I loved the suggestions you made. @suitablyaggrieved​ I think you have beta’d every one of my fics and I am overwhelmed with your support and value your opinions on everything I create. Lastly, my good IRL friend who isn’t on tumblr/twitter made such an impact on my very first fic also looked over this one, and I am so so grateful. I could never have done it without you all!!!

READ THIS ON AO3.

“No I can’t wait until tomorrow, I need that file before noon.” A pause, her brow scrunches in a way that he has become intimately familiar with over their long partnership. “What do you mean, you don’t know where it is?”

Mulder cracks another sunflower seed and watches Scully surreptitiously from his desk. She’s near the door, the reception on her cell phone trapping her in a small five-foot section of their office, and she’s pacing like a wild animal in a cage.

She glances in his direction and he looks away, busying himself with the file he’s pretending to read.

“Look, do I need to come up there and fetch it myself, Agent Porter? … No? … Fine, if you can get it to me by one I won’t–”

When Mulder peers up, she’s looking at her phone incredulously.

“That asshole hung up on me.”

A burst of laughter bubbles up before he can stop it, and he intently regrets it when he sees her narrowed eyes, the heat in her glare directed at him instead of the hapless agent on the fifth floor.

Scully goes back to the computer desk in the corner and slumps in her seat. She’s holding her shoulders tightly to one side. He notes the wrinkles in her slacks, the half-untucked blouse, the careless way she sits her elbows on the surface in front of her. It would be charming and he’d delight in teasing her about her unusually unkempt state of dress but not even he would dare to try to lift her up by joking with her today.

“Would you stop staring at me Mulder, I’m fine.”

He opens his mouth to remind her about the words she’s not supposed to say but she nails him with another hard glare.

“I’m just having a shitty day.” She sighs and shifts in her seat, groaning as she cracks her neck from side to side. “Why are there so many incompetent people in this goddamn building?”

.

It’s been about an hour, and she can’t get herself to relax or focus. Another crack from Mulder’s side of the office makes her wince.

“For Christ’s sake, Mulder would you stop eating those things for, I don’t know, fifteen minutes? Maybe?”

When she glances up at him to emphasize her words, he’s looking at her with wide eyes, mouth half-open, hand frozen in place as he’d set another sunflower seed in his mouth. Instead of biting down, he spits it out on his desk, causing another surge of annoyance to rise within her at his carelessness.

The smallest things have been irritating her all day. She hates her unexplainable irrationality, that she can’t gain control of herself, and it makes her want to alternately burst into tears and smash something into tiny pieces.

She looks towards her partner again, sees his sad eyes and a tight, uncomfortable smile flash across his face. Her anger dissolves and shame rises within her. She can feel the tide of tears well up from deep in her chest, stinging her eyes as she holds them back. Mulder’s been nothing but supportive today; handling all the minor tasks that neither of them liked, answering the phone, and redirecting stupid questions. Yet, all she can think about is his inconsequential habits. She hates herself for taking out her anger, for which she could find no rational source, on him.

Her chair creaks as she shifts away from him in her seat; her hands coming up to hide her crumbling face, uncontrollable tears falling down her cheeks.

His gentle hand on her wrist stills her shaking hands.

“What can I do Scully? Anything.”

.

Kneeling down beside her chair and leaning close, so she can’t hide, his worry deepens. He’s never seen her so upset. At first he thought she’d just been stoically withstanding a day that had gone from bad to worse… but the tear tracks down her flushed cheeks and the worry in her eyes betray a deeper problem. His heart starts to race, finding it strange that she’s accepting his comfort at work.

Mulder releases a breath when her watery blue eyes meet his, and he sees a determination there, a curiosity. Something different than the fury and despair he’s been a silent witness to all morning.

A small smile briefly lights up her face and she brushes her damp cheek with the back of her hand.

“Anything?” Her eyebrow lifts, and he’s done for.

Nodding, Mulder squeezes her hand, moves a bit closer.

Scully withdraws her hand and looks away from him. When she looks back, he’s relieved to see she’s transformed back into her usual self. Her emotions are subtle, carefully hidden behind a mask of clinical detachment, but easily recognizable to him.

“Go to your apartment. Take off your clothes. And wait for me,” she says, her eyes an intense indigo that pierce straight through him.

Mulder’s eyes widen and a smile spreads on his face. Scully merely tilts her head to the side, raising both of her eyebrows at his delay. Her back straight, she directs the full power of her commanding gaze towards him.

He stands, grabs his jacket from his chair and leaves the office, a foolish smile on his face as he rushes to the elevators. He’s distracted but has enough sense to cover the evidence of his arousal already tenting his pants.

***

As Scully’s heels tap along the tiles in the hallway outside Mulder’s apartment, a small smile dances on her face. Mulder’s intervention worked something of a miracle. The control that she wrestled with all morning has morphed into anticipation. An emotion she was much more familiar with and something she could easily compartmentalize.

She didn’t wait very long. It took a weight off her shoulders that she was able to finish a few reports, thoughts of a licentious afternoon with Mulder teasing her. On the drive to his place, all she felt was the hot pooling of desire and all she thought about was how much she wanted to reward him for his ability to always make her feel better.

She lets herself into his apartment, the only light scattering dimly through the windows. The long shadows and silence gives her pause, but she sees his shoes scattered in the entryway, his jacket crumpled on the floor near the coat rack. She envisions his distracted, lanky frame entering his apartment in a rush, even more heedless of neatness than usual. It never fails to thrill her that she excites him just as much as he excites her.

The bedroom is darker than the living room, the shades pulled from the night before to give them privacy. She waits on the threshold, grazing her eyes over his darkened form, lingering over his hardening cock, wondering if he touched himself while waiting for her.

She doesn’t speak. He doesn’t move.

Dragging her eyes away after a few long moments, she moves to the window and tilts the blinds open, risking a little of their privacy so she can enjoy him in the light from the bright midday sun outside. A thrill races up her spine at the small chance someone could watch them and enjoy the view of their partially obscured forms making love.

She stands over him on the bed, and their eyes connect.

.

Mulder can tell she sees the desperation in his eyes. She’s deliberately dragging things out, and he almost forgets what started this in the first place. He wants to reach up and throw her on the bed, rip off her expensive suit, and show her what he’s been thinking of doing to her since he left their office.

But… he stays still under her intense gaze. His breathing quickens and his cock hardens under her scrutiny, arms across her chest like she’s examining evidence. Her eyebrow raised in silent command, he knows he’ll be hard-pressed to move without her permission, even if a goddamn sasquatch appeared behind her.

Suddenly, she’s leaning over him, one knee on the bed. Her mouth inches from him, warm puffs of breath onto the flushed skin of his cheek.

“You’ve been good, I can tell. Did you shave?”

He doesn’t speak, knows this game. He answers her with his eyes: Yes.

“How can I show you how much I appreciate you, Mulder?”

He can’t help but smile at her with a toothy grin. She’s fully clothed but reaches upwards to shrug off her jacket, unbutton her blouse halfway. The silky material of her untucked shirt tickles his skin, the warmth from her hands seeps into him as they hover but don’t touch. Her hair wraps around her face and hides her expression in shadows.

Her tongue is the first thing he feels, meandering down the center of his chest. The coolness of the air a transitory sensation on his dampened skin as her touch inflames him. He can only watch as she circles his navel, the sunlight from his window catching her fiery hair as she nears his cock. She exhales a soft sigh and glances upwards to meet his eyes before her mouth and hands descend upon him.

.

She grasps his rigid cock and licks his entire length with the flat of her tongue. Swirling around the tip, she tastes his essence, the saltiness, and something else that she’s associated with him from the very beginning. She can’t quite describe it. Since their first embrace, her face pressed into the center of his chest… it is HIM.

Taking him in her mouth, stroking the base of his cock with her hands, she hums in pleasure. The vibration from the sounds she makes travels down through him, upwards, echoing in his own voice. Mulder groans from his position on the bed but doesn’t reach out to touch her, as much as she wants him to.

Tears sting at her eyes, this time in happiness. He doesn’t hesitate to make himself vulnerable when she’s feeling powerless, shifting the balance between them. Ever since that first night in his hotel room, he knew what she needed. The trust built from there, and it was unconditional, unspoken, the thing she treasured most about them.

“Scully…”

She feels the tightening in his balls before the warning in his voice and lets him go, peering at him through her lashes.

“Did I say you could speak?”

Mulder shakes his head, his eyes tinged a deep green, equally desperate and aroused. Sweat slicks his brow, and his hands clench at the sheets. Holding his gaze a few seconds longer, his face softens, a small smile gracing his lips. The absolute trust she sees reflected in his eyes clenches at her heart.

Crawling up his body, carefully letting only the fabric of her clothing touch him, she brushes her nose along his. Her hand caresses his cheek, moves upwards to tangle in his thick hair. When her lips dart close to his, she pulls away as he strains upwards.

“Tell me what you’d do with me if I let you touch me.”

His voice is rough as he speaks. “I’d grab your wrists, pull you under me. I’d lick my way down to your pussy and keep licking until you begged me to fuck you.”

A twitch of her lips betrays the thought that she would, very much, like for him to do that to her. But not right now. Mulder waits passively but the sparkle in his eyes gives away his enjoyment.

“You were supposed to say ‘whatever I want’.”

“Tell me, then.”

“Kiss me.”

.

Their lips meet, and electricity travels from the top of his head straight to his groin. Her hands grasp his wrists, holding him in place. Her tongue invades his mouth, withdraws. She nips his lips playfully then pulls back out of reach. He longs to reach up and crush her mouth to his, to grab fistfuls of her hair, to run his fingers along the edge of her blouse and over her silky skin. He waits, but not for long.

Their lips separate momentarily, and Scully whispers into his mouth. “Touch me.”

He takes advantage of his freedom, hands finally moving from the bedsheets to caress the sides of her breasts through her shirt. Pulling on the edge of her blouse, he draws her closer to deepen their kiss. His tongue presses along hers and glides along her lips, tasting her.

Mulder pulls away and implores her silently as his hands move to the last remaining buttons on her blouse. Scully nods and grins at him. When he removes it, gliding his hands over her shoulders and down her back, he sighs at the contact of his hands along the smooth length of her skin, finally.

They kiss, her hand tangling in his hair, gently tugging and scratching his scalp. A surge of desire rising up within him, his hands glide up and squeeze her breasts. She gasps at the contact, pulls away slightly.

“Sorry, was I too–”

“It’s okay, I’m just a little… sensitive.” She grins at him, strokes a finger over his cheek, and bites her lip.

Nodding again and pressing closer, Mulder continues his ministrations. He takes a deep breath and controls himself, watching her face for any sign of discomfort. He works his way slowly towards her nipples, dares to glide over the hardened peaks through the material of her bra once he can see her face twist and her body writhe with want for him. Her skin is flushed down to her chest. Running a finger along the edge of her bra, he leans upwards and licks the perspiration forming there.

Panting shallowly, Scully sits up, reaches behind, and releases the catch on her bra.

“Your tongue.” She arches an eyebrow. “Gently.”

He obliges, teasing her as she teased him, awareness of her flooding every sense. When she stiffens slightly, he pulls back, touching her heated flesh everywhere but there, working his way up. Her sweet rosy nipples draw him, but he resists, placing feathery kisses on her alabaster skin, circling her areola with his tongue. When he finally, finally covers her nipple with his mouth, she’s panting with lust. He gently skims the sensitive nub with his tongue, making sure to pay equal attention to the other.

Suddenly she’s rolling off of him, lifting up her hips and divesting herself of the rest of her clothing. She perches up on one elbow, gazing at his body next to hers.

.

Scully watches as Mulder’s eyes sweep over her body, pausing at the thatch of curls at the apex of her thighs. She sees his hesitation, his hand inching towards her body. Stilling it with her own, she smiles impishly when his eyes return to hers, bathing her in the heat of his desire. He always makes her feel so fucking sexy like she’s the only woman on the planet.

As she rises on her knees, Scully feels wound up, tightly coiled, and ready to break at any moment. The unusual discomfort she felt earlier is forgotten, miles away. She’s swollen, flushed with heat, and ready. However, there’s a few more things she wants him to do first.

She crawls up his body, and can’t help but giggle self-consciously as she braces herself on the bed in front of him, knees bent on either side of his head, directly over his face.

“Make me come,” she demands.

He grasps her legs, pulling her close, and she gasps at the contact of his warm breath against her thighs. His tongue glides a trail along her leg, and she can tell he’s hesitant. His kisses are soft and slow, frustrating her with their gentleness. She moves, hoping he’ll quicken his pace, touch her where she wants him to, but he maneuvers out of the way, wrapping his arms around her legs firmly, grasping her ass with his hands.

“I’m ready, Mulder. Don’t hold back now.”

She feels him smile against her. It seems to take forever and then he’s there, a teasing nip at the crease of her leg, a soothing lick. Her legs wobble unsteadily, but he’s got her, supporting her completely as she abandons the control she’s had all this time. She gives herself over to him. As he worships her, kissing and sucking at her folds and her clit in a gentle rhythm, Scully grips the bedsheets with one hand and grasps his arm with the other, the flood of sensation overwhelming her.

The extended anticipation, the teasing, made her more than ready, despite how little she’s allowed him to touch her up until now. She’s wet, dripping, and he’s consuming her.

She lets him.

It’s only moments before his deft tongue has her breaking apart, seeing their future in the stars.

He’s holding her up when she comes and lays kisses against the soft skin of her thighs when she returns to him.

.

She crawls unsteadily off of him and lies on her side, trembling and breathless. She’s loose, draped languidly like a ragdoll. Mulder touches her freely, gliding over her porcelain skin. It glows underneath the sunlight from the window, and he worships her. The curve of her hip, the dip of her waist, the strength of her taut abdomen. He grazes his thumb over the slight swell just below her navel, the spot she curses at in her neverending search to rid herself of that last bit of softness. It’s his favorite place, where he’d lay his head for the rest of his life if she let him.

When her breathing steadies Mulder moves over her, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “What next?”

He’s close, mimicking her teasing from earlier, well aware that with only a word he’d do whatever she asked. Her eyes are dark, the blue irises a thin circle around her pupils. The dimple in her cheek flashes briefly as she grins. Her hands move across his chest, scratching upwards, tracing her thumbs around his nipples before pushing him up firmly.

“Off.”

He moves away from her, testing his limits by remaining as close as possible while still obeying. Scully licks her lips and slips out from under him. She sits close and moves a delicate finger down his chest and along his abdomen. A pause, a tantalizing glance beneath her lashes as she lays a palm on his chest and pushes him away again.

And then she’s on all fours, peering back at him through the veil of her hair.

“Fuck me.”

It takes him a moment to process her words through his lust-addled brain, the sight of her positioned so vulnerably, yet with absolute control of him, nearly makes him come right there. He scrambles up behind her, moving her to the edge of the bed, hands lingering on the curve of her ass and giving it a light squeeze.

“Hmmm… “ Scully murmurs, wiggles temptingly nearer to him, arching her back and laying down on her elbows.

The fiery fan of her hair blazes in the sunlight, her creamy skin beckoning him to touch her. The tattoo on her lower back taunts him as he grasps his cock, teases her entrance. She’s incredibly wet, swollen with need. He can’t help lingering there, gliding his other hand over the ink on her back then wrapping it around her hip.

He meant to go slowly to give her time to adjust, but once he enters her, she drives back onto him, and he’s deep within her, all at once.

“Oh!”

They both exclaim at the sensation and laugh in tandem. Being inside of her always feels incredible, like he’s sheltered, complete.

“Talk to me.”

“Miss my voice already?”

Scully giggles and swivels her hips to encourage him to move.

“Agh, Scully. Your wish is my command,” he says, as he starts to thrust slowly, his words centering him, keeping him focused on her.

“Do you know who I ran into on the way to the car out of our office today?”

“Hmm?”

“Skinner.”

Scully gasps, and he’s not sure if it’s from his words or a particularly sharp thrust, but he enjoys the ambiguity.

“I had to hold my jacket in front of me the whole time. And look like a complete jackass when he wondered where I was heading to in the middle of the day. You think he figured it out, Scully, what you do to me?”

Mulder leans over and kisses her shoulder blade.

“Do you know how hard it is to drive with an erection, Scully? Well of course you do, it’s not the first time you’ve put me in that state.”

She snorts into her arms with laughter, and the movement causes him to slip out momentarily. They both groan from the loss of contact. Mulder falters in his story, too distracted by the sight of her ass and slit in front of him, and the feel of her surrounding him when he enters her again.

“More.” Scully says, her words muffled by the pillow she’s holding onto.

He continues his movement and his tale with difficulty, his hands steadying her hips and caressing small circles into her skin with his thumbs.

“I thought I’d be late, that you’d get there before me and I’d disappoint you. I never want to disappoint you, Scully.” He’s quiet for a moment, wanting the meaning of his words to sink in, and desperately holding onto his control.

It was hard to think about anything except the woman writhing and moaning in front of him, but he was going to do his damndest to do what she wished. A challenge, he was always up for that.

“I waited for you, just as you asked. Shaved, laid down on the bed. It felt like hours…” He pants, pauses, leans forward again until she turns to face him. “I knew you’d come, Scully. Do you know how much that means to me?”

“Umm…” She leans up towards him, grasping onto his neck and pulling him forward. She looks at him as directly as she can from this position. “I’ll always come for you, Mulder.”

“That’s what she said.” Mulder smiles broadly, thrusts forward with a “Schwing!” motion.

Scully shakes with laughter and groans. Reaching backward she slaps the side of his ass. “That’s enough of that.”

Mulder’s broad grin shifts into a sentimental one. With one hand still holding her hip as he moves within her, he traces the contours of her spine and runs his fingers lightly over the soft skin of her lower back.

“When I heard you enter my apartment, it was all I could do to stop myself from leaping out of the bed to tackle you. The thought that in mere minutes, seconds, you’d be touching me, telling me what you wanted. It’s everything, Scully. You’re everything, you know that don’t you?”

“Yeah, Mulder,” she pants. “Love you, too. But… harder.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

He is overwhelmed by how good she feels; her tight walls gripping his cock with each movement. The swivel of her hips at the perfect moment. The increasing intensity of her moans and the sounds they make coming together. His hands grip her hips as he withdraws slowly, thrusts inside quick and deep. The force of it causes her to jerk forward on the bed, to grip the bedsheets tighter in her fists.

A wave of tenderness washes over him at the sight and feel of them together. His hand moves from her hip to glide up and caress the fine hair at the nape of her neck. He’ll never get over how amazing it feels to share this with her, to know that she wants this, that he can make her happy. She turns her head to peek at him, a smile curving upwards. The glint of the sun reflecting in her eyes, the love shining forth. His heart clenches and his movements grow more erratic. Gliding his hand between her legs, he rubs her clit, desperate to help her to the edge before he falls inevitably, towards his own.

It’s not long before she’s there. Scully gasps and her eyes squeeze shut and Mulder feels her walls pulsating around him. A few more sloppy thrusts and he’s engulfed by his own climax, an overwhelming tide of sensation and emotion.

.

When she comes back to awareness, she’s lying facedown on the bed, Mulder’s limp form half-covering her. Both groaning, they crawl into each other’s arms. Scully tucks her head into her spot just under his chin and sighs contentedly as her heartbeat slows.

Her eyes droop shut as Mulder strokes her hair and pulls up the sheet to cover them. She’s deliciously sore, filled with warmth, and finally feels calm settling over her like a quilt.

“Feel better?”

“Mmm, much.” Scully tilts her head up to look at him. “Thank you for turning my day around.”

“Well, let me tell you, it was a hardship.” Mulder winks at her and kisses her forehead.

Chuckling and laying back down, Scully sighs. “I really don’t know what got into me today. I’ve never been the superstitious sort–”

“No kidding.”

“–But it honestly feels like some horrendous combination of every terrible idiom. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, full moon, etcetera. I could believe all of them were true.”

“I don’t know, Scully. I’m glad I could help though.” Mulder glides his hand over her shoulders and grasps her hand. “And I’m glad–”

At his pause, Scully looks up at him again, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m glad Skinner found me before he could go see you.”

“Why?”

“He told me something I’m sure would have made things worse. I… hope I don’t sour your mood again by telling you, but…”

“Mulder…” she warns. They don’t keep things from each other, not anymore.

“There’s some sort of audit coming next week. He just wanted to make sure we didn’t take any field trips before then. Apparently the guy is a bit of a hard-ass.”

“Is that it?”

Mulder’s mouth quirks into a half-smile. “I thought you’d be more upset.”

“That was this morning. I’m good now.” Scully’s eyes pierce into his own. “How are you with this news?”

Mulder shrugs and rolls his eyes. Giant waste of time, she can hear him think.

“We’ve been through worse, Mulder. One accountant certainly can’t do much.” She wraps her arm around him tighter, kisses his chest. “Besides, we’ve got each other. What can they do?”

She can feel his contentment surrounding her as she drifts into a half-sleep. “Yeah, we got this, Scully.”

[nostalgic-pancakes]

Watching the starlings as autumn draws in

Summary: Tommy and his friends try on some skirts, and he reflects a bit on how they all got here. (It's a happy story) Title from September by Sparky Deathcap

Pairings: None! Platonic everyone (esp in irl fics_)

Read on AO3 (preferred place to read)

Word count: 2570

Warnings: None, except for surface-level references to the exile/prison arcs, but not much.

Other notes: I wrote this in a fit of madness last night in like three hours at 2 am, so i’ll probably edit it honestly but for now, enjoy! (If the CC’s ever display discomfort with this type of fic I will take it down)

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"WELCOME BACK TO THE STREAM, BOYS!" Tommy exclaims, rubbing his hands together as he starts rapid-fire answering questions about the stream, and the stream title from chat. It's funny, how over time, Tommy's come to see Chat as this one entity- an old friend. The nervousness of answering questions as a fifteen year old with nothing but a big personality, a twitch account and a copy of Minecraft is all but gone now, nineteen years old and happier than he's ever been.

Dreadfulzombie19: what are u doin this stream

"THANK YOU FOR ASKING, Dreadfulzombie19, today is gonna be a bit different, innit Tubbo?" Tommy raises his voice a bit at the end of his sentence, just loud enough for one of his flatmates to hear him. When Tubbo yells back an affirmative, Tommy turns back to his setup. Chat's gone a bit wild again, even though he, Tubbo and Ranboo have been living together for over a year now.

"Okay, okay, calm down chat- so recently I was at university, as usual right? And I had an eight AM class again, and… yeah I can see you all can relate."

"BUT! BUT! On my way back to the flat, I saw something really cool." Tommy hesitates in his speech to take a sip of coke again- his blood pressure's been acting up lately and watches Chat to wild again, asking him what he saw.

"Okay, so there was a shop- new place, which doesn't happen often this is fucking Brighton- and they sold skirts and dresses and stuff with adjustments for AMAB sizes!" Chat goes a bit bonkers, but Tommy's mod team- a little smaller than it used to be, now that he isn't the centre of YouTube or Twitch attention anymore, none of them are- are handling it, and pretty well.

"So I had to go, right? As many of you probably know, last year, I made the astounding discovery that gender-based stereotypes and expectations are, in fact, fake and I should not give a SHIT. And so I go in and look through the stuff- it's a really poggers shop by the way, and I find the perfect thing- it was the most poggers skirts and shit, okay? So, today's stream is going to have me wearing this pogchamp shit and wearing it right, with the help of…" Tommy ends his monologue by picking up the joke shaker-things that Phil had gotten him as a housewarming gift last year and indicates for his first two helpers to enter the office.

In walks his mother, face obscured from view as always, waving to the camera, and Wilbur, also wearing one of his only skirts for this occasion. Eret had taught him, on a phonecall in the skirt shop that week about the different types of skirts with a handy diagram. Wilbur's was a pleated circle skirt, brown to offset the bright yellow of his sweater and beanie, the same colour as his hair. It's very swoosh-y, so he's wearing black leggings with his regular shoes too. Motherinnit's also wearing her favourite skirt, a baby blue prairie skirt, Tommy thinks, and it's one he's seen fairly often.

Wilbur ducks down in order to show his face to Chat, and ruffles Tommy's hair while he's at it. Tommy's taller, but not by much, so Wilbur still fucking makes short jokes, That fucker.

Chat is now going so fast that he simply cannot read anything but some of the all caps messages and can barely make out some of the emotes.

"Okay, OKAY, CALM DOWN CHAT! WE HAVE TO GET TO FUCKING BUSINESS!" Tommy yells into the mix, like he did when he was sixteen and used the 'many people find me annoying at first' intro. Nowadays he just lets the content speak for itself. Anyone who wants to be here already is, by now.

Wilbur laughs a bit, and that hasn't changed at all. "Tommy, how is chat supposed to calm down if you're not calm?"

"I am their god!! They will obey via sheer digital willpower!" Tommy replies back, pretty zealously (What? An English Literature class is mandatory for his film degree, and The Great Gatsby by Zelda Fitzgerald is a good book, as are most of the other assigned ones. He's had entire conversations with Techno with just lit quotes and it drives everyone insane. Tommy loves it.) Chat seemingly has listened to his godlike abilities, with a few OG's spotting his half-quotation of one of Dream's last lines in the Dream SMP. The rest are spamming 'MOTHERINNIT'.

"If having a shitty magic trick book from a washed-up politician makes you a god, then what does that make me?" Wilbur replies, with one of Foolish's lines and swatting his hand at Tommy. Tommy swats back.

"Bitch" "Arsehole" "Shithead" "Fuckface" Wilbur finishes cheerily, as if this happens all the time. It does. Chat's used their antics now, four years of consistently making content together will do that for you.

Eventually Motherinnit reminds them both to get back on Topic, and Tommy goes back to facing the camera, addressing Chat directly.

"Today, my beloved mother, and my idiot brother-" "hey!" "And maybe my flatmates will be joining me to show off some cool as SHIT skirts! And a dress or two. We all have our selections, right?" Everyone nods in affirmative, even Tubbo and Ranboo. Though the camera can't see them. Ranboo's just come home from his final class, then. He should probably take the first hour back off, and judging by how Tubbo is forcefully judging Ranboo to the shower, he probably gets it. Tommy signs an affirmative to both of them, and gets back to the camera, where Wilbur's showing off all of his (very poggers) very stupid brown or yellow skirts. Tommy's are in cool colours, for fuck's sake.

"Oh yeah, Puffy just confirmed she'll be on stream! She'll be here in about twenty minutes, accounting for fucking traffic, and Niki' going to get onto VC after her own stream, what game is it this time?"

"GRIS." Wilbur answers.

"Poggers- she is the SHIT and will join us soon! So expect some QUALITY QUALITY content this stream!! Remember to not spam her chat to finish faster." Exclaims Tommy, even if it ends up as a light warning, as he picks up his own very poggers skirts from the extra armchair in his office to show the camera.

One is the classic red and white, mostly white but with bright red on the waist (elastic) and the bottom, and it reached to about Tommy's knee, if worn at the hip. It had no pleats, but the red bits were a very nice velvet texture, and while the skirt was heavy, it still had very much swoosh value, and pockets!! Big ones!! He slips the skirt on top of his jeans before entering camera view, the skirt visible in all its classic Tommyinnit glory, as he takes his place right next to Wilbur, who just took. a quick spin at the behest of several dono's., Skirt spying out from his lower shins all the way to his knee, making visible one of his (many) petticoats. ("What? It's cold all the fucking time here, Toms.") Tommy also makes a quick little spin, skirt flying outward, not upward, so it looks like he's hula hooping for a moment there. Lastly, Motherinnit spins around too, and while her skirts do not swoosh, she looks opulent, like she was about to go to waltz with the enemy, for whom she has a dagger in the back of her dress for. (He finished Anna Karenina and the Six of Crows duology within the same week and has not yet recovered. Jack Edwards is laughing at him as he thinks in his English Lit Graduate glory.)

It's fun, trying on different skirts- he and Wilbur accidentally bought the same dress at one point, which they paired up to wear, darting off into their respective changing rooms while giggling like idiots with their checkered blouses and the grindl skirts that Niki had sent over when she heard of this stream idea, laughing the whole time. Tubbo enters as dramatically as possible with Puffy, and while Tubbo looks really fucking good in his handkerchief skirt with embroidered bees and plain white shirt, it's Puffy who steals the show with an exact, real life version of her red banquet dress.

Fans from way back in the SMP, before Tommy had started branching out start going insane and are bringing back emotes Tommy wasn't sure were still available, but she is fucking stunning- deep shades of red and crimson, with slits on either side of her waist and all the detailing. She'd gotten the contact for her dressmaker through Bernadette Banner, Tommy recalls- she was so fucking cool when she streamed with him once, and gotten him to swear less and supplant those world's with bigger ones to intimidate instead. While he still curses like a sailor as part of his persona, it's less so and he does way less in real life these days, unless the situation calls for it. It's also just rude, especially in uni libraries, where he spends too much time these days wondering why he didn't read more as a kid.

Puffy's stolen his audience for a WHILE, and Niki coming on hasn't helped any, so Tommy exits camera view for a while to hug Ranboo really quickly- he's had midterms and has basically been dying all month.

Everyone on this stream- Tommy, Wilbur, Motherinnit, Tubbo, Puffy, Niki and Ranboo enter the camera frame after entering their dressing rooms for the last time on this particular stream, Puffy with full in-character wigs and makeup, Tommy in an Edwardian-Gothic reminiscent black and red dress, Ranboo in something he bought when he gap-yeared in Japan, punk lolita or something, Niki flaunting her pink in a Marie Antoinette style show of finery, Tubbo dressing in all green this time, something like a very deranged biology teacher who hasn't slept in days (Tubbo hasn't-Tommy has to get into that), Wilbur like a forest-nymph, all earthy tones and swishy fabrics and nature highlights, and finally Motherinnit, who hasn't changed but is here to take pictures as they all lean in together to fit into frame, as drastic as their height difference is. Niki is going to be edited in later, and everyone on the 'Dream SMP but nobody does Dream SMP and we're all fucking nerds' discord server is going to get a copy.

The stream wraps up there, after about two hours, and it's only about six in the evening- a far cry from the late nights and long hours from the beginning of Tommy's career, so everyone runs to their changing areas for the last time, into pajamas now, and packs away all of the clothes they wore, properly, as to not incense Karolina Zebrowska, and Jemma, Dan's wife, who would look at them disappointedly and nobody wants a sad Jemma because that means no cooing at their son. Also it just feels shitty.

Everyone huddles in Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo's living room, and they out on UP for like, the millionth fucking time (they still cry when Ellie dies), and Tommy is leaning into Wilbur's side and feeling his mum play with the hair in his very small, stubby ponytail he's developed by being in Uni as he and Tubbo intertwine their legs together and Ranboo rests his head in the tangle of limbs, playing with his fidget cube. Puffy stays on Wilbur's side, intently texting someone and smiling the whole while, and Tommy takes a moment to reflect (something he's been getting better at doing) on how the actual hell they all got here.

The Dream SMP was always going to end- everyone knew it, if course, they were the fucking writers. But by the time they did, not only were their respective brands too closely intertwined to just… sever that quickly, but they'd become too close to even want to. So the SMP discord never shut, even though Dream and George had planned it months ago, and they continued supporting each other with their interests. Wilbur made a lot more music solo, with his band and even just random ass streams where he practiced guitar for an hour. He kept playing Minecraft, but it wasn't his main focus. A bunch of people left. More stayed. YouTube left him alone.

Dream, George and Sapnap are still Minecraft streamers, but their YouTube channels are mostly blogs of them being poor excuses of adults with other former SMP members joining in sometimes. Tommy and the Dream Team were closer than ever, even though the seeds of their friendship had been sowed when they used to linger after heavy streams together, reassuring each other that none of that was true and that nothing like… that would happen in real life, because Dream had used real abuse tactics, and those still hurt unless immediately taken care of. So they were. It was a running joke that Dream was stuck at 99 million subscribers since nobody really wanted the face reveal anymore. The other Dream team members were doing peachy.

Phil and Techno were also still primarily Minecraft streamers, but they also released things like advice videos and mental health stuff, especially for relationships. They had a new scripted series where Tommy was a minor character. The dadza jokes were still as real, and yes, outside of streaming, both of them were lovely people and responsible adults (mostly). They collaborated with DanTDM and co a lot more now.

Puffy and Niki kept doing games, but did lots of different ones, testing point and clickers to triple A titles, and making it all fucking hilarious while they were at it.

So where had that left Tommy?

After the Dream SMP, he'd kind of had no idea what to do, and he was going to University for the first time, so he just… did whatever he thought would be fun. He learned about vintage fashion from the queens themselves- Mina Le, Bernadette Banner and Karolina Zebrowska and had fun learning how to sew for the first time, fixing and making his own clothes for the first time, clunky as they were, Wilbur had cried, genuinely, when he saw the Lovejoy shirts that Tommy had made for the band. He'd found a genuine love for literature in university, so Tommy started talking to booktubers and studytubers like Jack Edwards and Noelle Stevenson. Tubbo and Ranboo had joined him, fucking around in any YouTube niche they found even remotely interesting. Eventually, they all found a happy medium- a bit of everything.

Some people obviously weren't happy with that but Tommy was happy as he was, making what he liked with his best friend's, living together close enough to most of their friends (family) to have fun and drop in on one another at ass-o-clock in the morning to comfort, to laugh. His sub count hasn't gone up in a while- most of his audience is static, with about 80-90k online on a stream at any time.p

It was a nice feeling, to have carved out a space for himself and the people he loves, and be is so, so glad that he got this chance.

Looking at his mostly asleep family, Tommy thinks 'yeah. Life is good.' as the last thought before he sleeps.

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Now that Nora's season is coming to end, what are somethings that you want for amira's season

Hi 😁 I bet you thought I’d never reply to this ask! Well, after you sent this in MARCH, I am finally posting an answer. 

Btw, I did the same for Nora’s season, and as a note, I’m a white European and an atheist. If any of this is offensive or not my place to say, I preemptively apologize.

1) I would like for Amira's arc not to be about being Muslim. That is, Cris' arc isn't about being bi, it's about learning (and accepting) that she's more than the fun friend. That she has and can offer more to the people in her life. Nora's arc isn't about being a feminist, it's about not being so set in your first impression of someone that you don't notice red flags or don't notice them trying to be better people. Same with Eva and not being defined by her mistakes, or about Viri and her financial situation. And I would like the same for Amira.

2) I think one common denominator of all Sana seasons so far is that they've shown the mains doing something that people assume hijabi can't do when it's more like they're systematically excluded from participating. For Sana, it was basketball. For Imane, it was dancing. For Amira M, it was boxing. I joked on twitter that Amira N's thing should be binging TV shows and eating junk, proving that hijabi are really like anyone else, but on a serious note, I'd like for Amira's thing to be photography (and maybe modeling? since Amira's friend was taking pics of her).

3) A scene where Amira explains how she can be a feminist and a hijabi both, just so we as a society have that scene to point to when the question inevitably comes up again. Seriously, I feel like that's one of the questions I most often see people asking Hajar.

4) I want the association girls to have their own youtube channel. Or at the very least, their own instagram and/or twitter account. I would love for them to post memes punching up about their experiences.

5) I feel like, much like with trans narratives, there's this "acceptable" narrative for hijabi in mainstream society, which is: the character made the decision to cover after coming up with solid reasons to do so. I.e. she made the decision early and can defend it with inarguable rebuttals. It's like women can't be trusted unless they know 150% what they're doing, be it covering, or dating a girl, or going vegan, or any number of things. I really appreciate that Amira started covering just because it felt right, and she's finding meaning in it after the fact. I would like for this to be a thing in her season, that she's still figuring herself out, that she's not already an Islamic scholar.

6) I also think that's what makes her stand apart from the other Sanas. I feel like (maybe with Zoya's exception), none of the other Sanas would entertain a crush on a white guy. They'd have never drunk or flirted (like we know Amira used to do). It's like they're not allowed to fuck up, or can only fuck up in acceptable ways, like engaging in a flirtation with a non Muslim only because they didn't know he wasn't a Muslim, or had booze at home, but it wasn't theirs, etc. I'm hoping that they've made Dani a love interest specifically to explore this idea (and not because they wanted to whitewash a character or give less time to an actor of color).

7) On that note, SKAM Hajar brought up an idea that, because the hijab makes them super visible, hijabi are perceived as ambassadors of Islam, expected to be able to answer any question about Islam, but also that people will judge all Muslims based on whatever mistake they individually make. I would like for a potential bench scene to allow Amira to say that it puts major pressure on her to feel like she can't make any mistake, because every Muslim will be judged based on her making a mistake, having a shitty day, being in a bad mood, not wanting to be Muslim wikipedia that day, etc. That sometimes she just wants to be Amira, not Islam personified.

8) I would like for Dani's character to represent not just white society, but also childhood, the safe choice, the choice her parents would love, and for Sofian's character to represent not just Moroccan culture, but also like... SEXY risk, independence, novelty... Because I feel like when I see Muslim girl/Muslim boy/white guy love triangles in fiction, the Muslim guy is positioned as the boring choice (but still incredibly wrong because he's abusive or maybe even secretly gay and forced to beard by his parents), the safety, the guy you'd bring home to your parents, whereas the white guy represents independence and carving your own path away from your parents.

9) Just once, I would like for a Muslim character to say, "what do you think of Catholic priests abusing kids?" to someone asking them what they think of such-and-such Muslim majority country doing such-and-such to its citizens. Bonus points if it's Sofian's character.

10) I would like for Dilan to get an insta and a storyline. And for that storyline to connect to Amira's.

11) In general, I would prefer that parents be kept to a minimum (not to get rid of them entirely, of course, but to be kept at the level they've been in other Sana seasons). I just have never thought the point of Skam was the parents. And I get why they have a larger presence in a second gen kid, but I, personally, am more interested in what they represent in the main's life, rather than in giving them a lot of face time.

12) And, on that note, if they do with Amira what I've outlined above, I don't think there's a necessity for Amira to have siblings. Particularly if eskam isn't going to continue after this season. I think it'd be far more interesting if Amira's character contained the elements of figuring her identity as a Muslim living in a Western country that Elias, Idriss and Essam had. (And maybe that way Dani is both Yousef and Elias, stealing not just one role for an actor of color, but two! lmao)

13) I really hope that the obligatory evak s4 side plot be kept at a minimum tbh. I'm really not interested in a) Eloy coming back to cause drama, b) Amira's friend causing croana drama because she's Joana ex or whatever, c) a physical fight breaking out because of (perceived) homophobia.

14) I want Amira to tell Cris that amiris es lo más real que hay. 😭 I would love it if, as a parallel to Cris' season, Amira doesn't tell Cris about her interest in Sofian's character at first because she's afraid of her reaction, only for Cris to be supportive of whatever she chooses to do.

15) I would be so fucking happy if eskam adapted the "is your faith stronger than your lust?" scene in this season. I have always wanted to love that scene, because how often do you get a scene where two girls get to talk that long and that much (even in Skam most of the iconic dialogue scenes between just two people aren't between two girls in the squad), but I just haaaated the purpose of the scene in Skam.

16) I would cry buckets if we got a scene like Det Beste fra Islam where Amira and Sofian's character both talk about what Islam means for them. Particularly if Sofian is introduced as not the Perfect Muslim Man, but it turns out he has THOUGHTS about religion.

17) And, finally, I would love for the unquestionable villain of the season to be a white guy. If the villain is going to be a woman, then I would want her to be Cris' mom, not a high school aged character. Not because of white feminism yayyy! but because I think the major issue Sana seasons have run into before is that the showrunners want to touch on white girls being the problem, but they also don't want to villainize white girls. So we have stuff like Sana inviting Sara and Ingrid (of all people!!) to Eid, Imane apologizing to Ingrid (of all people!!), random one clip white women attacking Amira M (and the Kiki/Amira friendship of course), etc. I'd just rather they didn't have girls doing shitty stuff to Amira N, if they're going to go back on it. Which they inevitably would, because eskam's overall message is sisterhood.

Bonus clips

18) I would love it if Skam España was like, "you thought we were dropping storylines left and right? Nope!" and resolved long standing mysteries like who was behind Eva's hate ig, who had the pills, who outed Cris to the school, who's the owner of the keys that were left behind at GSC, and so on. Will die if it turns out to be Ramón!

19) I want Joana to get that job she wanted so bad last season!

20) I would love for Emma to show up and come out as a lesbian, just as a last hurrah lol.

21) I don't feel strongly about which couples should be endgame and not (other than not Dani/Amira hghvvh please), BUT in my most embarrassing fantasies, I want Skam España to hire Alejandro Reina's irl boyfriend to play Lucas' boyfriend for the finale. Not because I can't separate fiction from reality or anything, but because when I thought Lucas would be getting a season, I wanted his boyfriend to be a poc, and I was highkey buttmad that they hired random white bread when they could just as easily have hired a poc.

22) I think it would be really cool if Inés got a clip on her POV, but I don't think we're going to get it. I think all bonus clips will be from the squad's POV, i.e. Eva, Cris, Nora and Viri. Not even Joana.

23) I want a Mallorca special or episode so bad, and I will be so FUCKING ANNOYED if we don't get it. Seriously, I can't imagine the team didn't feel betrayed when they watched Skam for writing purposes, and didn't get their russetide. So they should know how angry we would be if we didn't get even a little bit of Mallorca time.