#based ofc off the fic I wrote the other day

[baronmpontmercy]

He lets himself be held…

…Selûne crowns them both

DurgeWyll cuddles are good for the soul (with some Moon Approval for my selunite paladin durge)

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

Logan Howlett, the man you are. (Headcanons!!)

Minors, do not interact.

A/N: Y’all. I’ve been in a writing rut, but something about Logan- and Huge Jackedman, by extension- regaining his moment in the spotlight has gotten me back at it. Hugh was 1000% the reason I found out that I have a thing for dilfs, and let me tell you, I ain’t mad about it. To quote one author, who I can’t remember off the top of my head but wrote a KILLER breeding kink fic for Wolvie, “before there was Jensen Ackles, there was Hugh Jackman.” If you know me or my work, you know I’m a Jackles girl, but Hugh? Hugh will always get me going, whether he’s a ringleader, a robot shadow boxer, or otherwise.

TLDR I’m so in love with Hugh/Logan again. I always am, but I’m really on fire rn. Don’t worry, I will be continuing the 2SC series, but I needed this.

As always, all interaction, especially your words, is so very much appreciated!! I hope you like this one! Also, thank you for 120 followers! This account is maybe three months old, this is an insane milestone.

CW: it’s really just soft with a side of spice, the most flavorful being daddy/breeding.

-first of all, this man is a the biter.

-and it’s not always in a sexual sense

-he’ll just walk up to you and gently graze his teeth against your exposed shoulder or neck

-especially at night, after sex or not. He’ll be holding you close- you’re the little spoon ofc🎀- and just nibble on the juncture of your neck and shoulder while you cuddle into him

-honestly, it doesn’t hurt. And he only leaves marks if he wants to, ie when he’s balls deep inside of your little cunt OR wanting to remind the world who you belong to

-he’s just got a bit of an oral fixation is all

-speaking of which, he could be between your thighs for the rest of eternity and he’d be fine with it. He LOVES when you tug on his hair as he makes you squirm, only needing one strong hand to hold you down

-he goes feral when he sees you wearing his shirts

-loves to throw you over his shoulder and to play fight

-he’s interested in anything you’re interested in

-mans can’t cook to save his life but adores watching you and “helping”

-aka being all up in your business when you’re literally just trying to chop an onion

-he can be clingy. Not in a whiny way, in a playfully annoying way.

-will always find a way to make you late to anything. Sometimes it’s for the sake of a quickie, other times it’s because he wants one more kiss or to see the last five minutes of whatever show you guys watch together

-if you’re into daddy, he’s into daddy. Especially if you’re significantly younger than him

-he likes to squish you- your boobs, tummy, ass, wherever. He loves your body for what it is and loves you

-this man is so in love with you, by the way

-he’s old as hell but if you teach him how to text he’ll text you sporadically throughout the day. Sometimes it’s really blurry, almost impossible to decipher, pictures of things that remind him of you, other times it’s “When will you be home?” even though he’s already called you to ask four times. That’s mainly on his days off though- if he’s not doing something or you then he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

-that’s not to say he’s not always thinking of you. On missions, wherever, you’re the first thing in his mind. Give him a locket with a picture of the two of you and chances are he’ll wear it forever

-oh back to the other one he totally texts like an old man. If you try to use slang, or even just use “u,” you’ll confuse him so bad that he’ll think he’s in the future or that you’re speaking a different language. He also doesn’t like emojis, unfortunately 😞

-he’s got a sweet tooth. Loves to bake with you- he can’t cook but he can make a mean batch of snickerdoodles. No one knows why, and he’ll never offer any explanation.

-speaking of sweets that’s why he loves eating you out so much, because you taste so sweet to him

-and all of his nicknames are sweet based- sweetheart, sweets, sugar, etc- with the exception of darling which coming from him would put anyone on their knees immediately

-speaking of being on your knees he loves when you do it. Not as much as he loves eating you out, but he does enjoy a solid blow once in a while

-he’s a sucker for cockwarming, even if it’s barely sexual. Just as a way to be close. If you don’t mind him smoking he’ll smoke a cigar while you do so, and get into a nice soft headspace

-the kink of his that annoys him the most is breeding. He doesn’t want kids (unless you do, which is its own conversation. Personally I don’t so works for me haha) but when he’s balls deep, pushing you into the mating press, it doesn’t matter. Especially if you’re in a place where he can fuck you raw all the time- ie you take the pill, have had a hysterectomy, etc- then he will, and he will always spill his seed deep in you, mind filling with pictures of you all round and swollen and cute even if it’s impossible

-however it is hot when he gets in that headspace regardless of if kids are in the question or not

-hang on I thought of something else and then I forgot it

-uhh

-oh that’s it. Praise. Loves getting it, loves receiving it. If you’re more receptive to degradation he’ll give you that, but he loves telling you what a good girl you are

-also has a blast with brat taming

-anyways back to the soft stuff

-he loves domestic life. Curling up with you on the couch with fluffy blankets and snacks, watching rom coms and other cheesy movies

-he’ll rest his head in your lap if you’re drawing, crocheting, reading, etc

-he loves being petted. Your hands in his hair, tracing his muscles, whatever. It makes him so happy and it’s soothing for him

-and we all know how he’s mr gruff n tuff, right?? Well if he’s really eepy and lying on his lap while you stroke his hair, there’s an ever slight chance you can get him to purr. Don’t tease him about it, though, or he’ll get super self conscious

-if you like to workout he’ll work out with you

-he really likes to box to blow off steam, but if it’s with you and you’re not a fellow mutant it’s more play fighting than anything, but it’s still fun

-he’s a sucker for cheesy dates

-call him ‘Lo’ or ‘Wolvie,’ or any nickname that fits him. He thinks it’s adorable, and owns it. He also gives you like fifty nicknames of his own.

-he loves long walks on the beach if it’s accesible, hiking’s also fun to him

-he’ll never take his anger out on you, ever

-he loves reading with you, just sitting in comfortable silence with your respective books

-that’s all for now!!

If you have any ideas for ficlets or headcanons, my asks box is always open!! Xx

[tkwrites]

Meet Me At The Mistletoe - Quinn Hughes x ofc

Video from @fallinallincurls

Title: Meet Me at the Mistletoe

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Quinn Hughes x Sarah Roberts

Summary: Based on the song of the same name by Dave Barnes, Quinn and Sarah prepare for and host a team Christmas Party, including shopping on a very special but inconvenient day. 

Warnings: Grief. Talk of dead parents and honoring traditions. Some sex is alluded to, but nothing described. A tiny bit of praise kink stroking. 

Word Count: 8,000

Comments: I'm back with my first ever Christmas fic! I’ve been waiting to write a song based on Meet Me at the Mistletoe by Dave Barnes since I first heard it three or four years ago. It has such a great story and evokes a specific feeling I felt like Quinn and Sarah were especially suited for. When Cici from @thedevilrisen reached out to me about joining a Christmas fic event called Ho Ho Hockey, I knew this had to be the story I wrote for it. 

If you enjoyed this, please let me know by commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. Your encouragement and comments truly inspire me to keep writing. Sending all the love your way!

Meet Me at the Mistletoe 

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

“Will you help me plan a Christmas party?” Quinn blurted, trying to catch his breath. 

“Hu?” Sarah asked, struggling to keep up with the abrupt change of subject.

 Upon getting home from work, she’d practically jumped him in the kitchen. They’d made it as far as the lucky couch before desire consumed them both. He’d been on a roadie for the past few days, and though he got back the evening before, she’d been asleep when he arrived, so they weren’t able to welcome each other home properly. 

Now, she lay beside him, wedged between the back of the couch - cushions had been tossed aside in their frenzy - and his body, feeling sated and satisfied as her head rested on his chest.

“I have to plan a Christmas party for the team,” he explained, knowing he couldn’t put it off anymore. Even though they still had a few months, he knew she would appreciate the advanced warning and that it would only make it easier if they started now.

“Why do you have to do it? I’d think that would be something the coaching staff would do.”

“It’s for players only. We have another one with coaches and staff. It's kind of tradition for the captain to plan it.”

Her lips pressed together, “I don’t know how much time I can dedicate to party planning in December. That’ll be right around finals.” She didn’t have as many traditional classes this semester, but there was still plenty to do. 

“That’s why I’m bringing it up now, and it doesn’t have to be huge,” he rushed to explain. “Last year, JT and Natalie just had people over for drinks, and we did a gift exchange.”

“You want to have it here?” 

“I thought it would be nice.” Now that Sarah was here, the apartment felt more homey and like the kind of place he wanted to show off. 

“So cocktails and gifts?” 

“Yeah, or whatever we want it to be. I think they had some food last year.”

“Okay,” she said. 

“So you can help me?” Quinn asked. 

“Yeah. I don’t know that I’ll have time to go to tastings or anything like that.”

“Tastings?” 

“For food?” 

He laughed, “I figured we’d just order from De Beppe and set up a cocktail bar.” 

“Oh,” it seemed like he didn’t even need her help. “That sounds nice and easy.”

His hand snuck down to cradle the curve of her bottom, “you know I don’t like to make things overly complicated.” 

“It’s just for adults?” she confirmed.

“It was last year,” he said. “Why? Do you want kids to come?”

She shrugged, “not necessarily. Just if they do, we’ll need to host it somewhere else. Our house isn’t really kid proofed.” 

When he didn’t respond, she glanced up to find him looking at her with a goofy smile on his face. 

“What?”

“You said our house.”

“Hu?” 

“You said our house,” he repeated. “Before you’ve always said your house,” he pointed to himself, “or the house.” 

“Oh.” 

Slipping his arms around her waist, he pulled her a little tighter against him, loving the feel of her soft curls as they crushed against his hip. “I’m just glad you’re feeling more at home.”

A pocket of calm silence enveloped them.

“We’ll need to decorate,” Sarah said after a few minutes. 

Quinn agreed. When he thought about hosting the party, the house was always decorated for Christmas, but he’d never thought about what it would take to get it into that state.

“We can figure that out later,” she murmured, laying her head back on his chest, allowing his steady heartbeat to lull her into the state of calm that always came over her when he was home.

They spent another hour there, snuggled up together, only moving when Quinn went fishing for a blanket and had to lean halfway off the couch to get it. 

They didn’t get up until Sarah’s stomach grumbled loudly. 

“Did you eat today?” Quinn asked, his tone accusing. 

“I had a smoothie for breakfast.”

“Sarah,” he admonished. She never ate as well when he wasn’t home. Not just in quality, in quantity.

“I know,” she said, looking down sheepishly. “I even had a salad in the fridge at work, I just got so caught up in stuff. I did eat a protein bar on my way home,” she remembered. 

Deciding he’d tackle the issue of her nutrition later, Quinn traced his fingers up the curve of her spine. “What should we have for dinner tonight?” he asked as he mentally prepared himself for the inevitable exit from their cozy cocoon.

She mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, “I don’t care. Just feed me.”

He laughed. “You got it,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Why don’t you go get changed, and I’ll scrounge up something for us to eat.” 

Are you free November 9th?

When Quinn sent this message, she didn’t think anything of it. They were both so busy that it was normal to schedule things three weeks in advance. 

Yep, what's up that day?

Just wanna take you on a date before the game.

The purposeful vagueness and his wanting to do something on a game day raised her eyebrows. Game days were usually reserved for napping and chill time at home before he had to go to the rink. 

Okay. It's in my calendar. 

He hearted the message, and Sarah went back to work. 

Pick you up at 11 out front, okay?

Though it was a Saturday, and she was off, Quinn knew Sarah would be working on her thesis and he needed to catch her before she got too absorbed by it, no longer concerned with looking at her phone.

For what?

We have a date, remember?

Oh, right. She’d mostly forgotten about the whole exchange, despite looking in her planner that morning and finding (heart) Date (heart) written in the sparkly blue ink she used to denote all things Quinn related.  

What should I wear?

Usually, when he called something a date, it meant dinner out, but this was the middle of the day, and she knew it wouldn’t last terribly long.

Whatever - jeans are fine.

Now, she was really intrigued. Okay. See you then. 

Wondering what on earth he had planned in the middle of the day on a Saturday, on a Saturday game day, no less, Sarah went back to her studies. It was hard to focus, though. Quinn was definitely up to something. They were even playing the Oilers that evening. Something fishy was definitely going on. 

All the same, at 10:30, she changed out of her pajamas, pulled half of her hair up, and put on some makeup before walking down to the lobby. 

Quinn was right on time, parked right in front of the front door. 

“Thanks, Reece,” she said as he held the door open for her. 

“Have a good day, Ms. Roberts,” he said with a nod. 

She slid into the seat of Quinn’s posh new car. She’d learned by now that most players leased a new car at the beginning of every season. Instead of the Jeep, Quinn now had a sleek and luxurious new Porsche SUV. Most of her hated that it was so expensive when there were perfectly good, reliable options that were half the price. Each time she got in it, though, she had to admit: it was extremely comfortable, and the features really were something else. She found a small measure of comfort that at least it wasn’t some ridiculous sports car. 

“So, where are we headed?” she asked as he pulled back into traffic. 

“You’ll see,” he said with a little smile as he reached across the console for her hand. 

Although he had a destination programmed into the car's GPS, she wasn’t entirely sure how the thing worked and didn’t want to accidentally get them off course by fiddling with it. 

They went out of the city, which surprised her. He was bothering to take her to Richmond when they had to get back in time for the game? Not that the 30 minute drive was outrageous, but it seemed a luxury to her when they didn’t have all that much time to begin with.

“We needed to come all the way out to Richmond to go to Costco?”

“It’s the second Saturday of the month,” he said quietly, “and this one's bigger than the one by home. I’m sorry we couldn’t go tonight.” 

“Oh,” her breath hitched as his intention settled on her. She’d stopped mentally marking second Saturdays about a year after her dad died, so she hadn’t even known.

The hiss of his seatbelt retracting brought Sarah out of her daze, and she reached for him before he could get out of the car. 

“Thank you,” she said, feeling both a swell of gratitude as well as a tightening in her chest. 

He beamed, glad he’d pulled it off. “I’ve been trying to get here, but you were so busy with the start of the semester, and then I was out of town…” he trailed off. 

“This is really sweet, Quinn.” Holding his chin, she leaned over the center console to press her lips to his.

He’d wanted to set up this date since she’d told him about her family’s monthly Costco adventures. “Ready?” he asked, nodding toward the store. 

She took a deep breath, letting it sigh out before nodding, “yeah.” 

When she rounded the car and he took her hand, she tried to blink the tears from her eyes. 

“I haven’t been back here,” she said quietly, wanting to explain, just in case she burst into tears. That hadn’t happened for a while, but she could never quite rule it out, especially now that the ache of doing this with him, but without her dad, was freshly torn open. That, mixed with the gratitude she felt at his want to do this for her, especially on a game day, brought up a swirl of so many emotions. Quinn was so incredibly thoughtful. 

He stopped in his tracks, “is this your first time back since your dad died?” he asked. 

“No, I went with mom whenever she or I was visiting, and we all go whenever I’m in town,” she said, “I just don’t think I’ve been without my siblings since she died.”

“Are you okay? We don’t have to go.” He was such an idiot. He should have asked her about it instead of just springing this on her. 

“No, I want to go,” she assured, giving his hand a squeeze. “It just makes me a little nostalgic, that’s all.” 

Before they got to the doors. She tugged him back, “this is really thoughtful, Q.” Why hadn’t she said it before? “Thank you. I feel really cared for.”

The big, genuine smile that took over his face made her heart swell.  

“So what are we looking for?” she asked, grabbing a cart and following him inside. 

“I kind of thought…” he trailed off, lifting the cap off his head, trying to smooth his hair down. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a mother turn her pointing little girl away.

“Hm?”

“I thought we could get some Christmas decorations. Like, obviously, we need a tree, but I didn’t know if you wanted a real one, or…” he trailed off. 

“Isn’t it a little early to be decorating for Christmas? I figured you were a strictly after Thanksgiving kinda guy.”

He laughed, “I mean, I am, but this was the only second Saturday I’m in town before January, so I figured we could shop and then decorate later.” 

A smile beamed over her face, and a sigh unknotted some of the anxiety coiling in his chest. They’d talked, well argued, a little about Christmas. He wanted her to come to Michigan with his family, but it was her siblings' year to be together, so she wanted them to go to Nevada. He was just about ready to fly everyone to Vancouver. It was their first Christmas together. He didn’t want to spend it apart, but he didn’t want either of them to miss out on time with their families. 

“I’ve never had a real tree,” she mused. 

“Really?” 

“My mom always said she hated the mess.” She paused for a moment, remembering, “well, I guess that’s not quite true. Trav and Trev had a real tree the year I lived with them, but it wasn't really my thing. I went back to Nevada in mid-December, so I didn’t help decorate or anything.”

“Okay, so we’ll get a real tree,” he agreed, glad to have that sorted. “You should get to experience it at least once.”

“Okay,” she agreed, a light coming into her face he usually associated with her while she was talking about her research.

The smile Quinn gave her in response - large and happy and indulgent - made her stomach flutter. 

“What do you think  the theme should be?” she asked.

“Hu?” 

“The theme,” she repeated, “like red, or blue or, like, snow?” 

“I don’t…know?”

“Is there anything you really like?” 

“I hate the flocking,” he said. 

“Not what I asked, but still helpful,” she said with a cheeky smile and a wink. 

Quinn felt himself blush. “I don’t know…I feel like I’m bad at this kind of stuff.” 

“What kind of stuff,” she asked, guiding them to the decor aisles. 

“Decorating and stuff.” 

She pshawed, waving her hand, “my mom always said if you like what you come up with, design is never bad. It might not be someone else's taste or style, but it’s not their house.” 

Right, her mom was an interior designer. 

“What do you like?” he asked, stopping to look at a display of dancing elves. They were sort of horrifyingly kitschy, but he couldn’t look away.

“I like classic things. Like red and green, or blue and white. Or, one year, my mom did this really pretty floral design. That doesn’t really match our vibe, though.”

“Did she design a new tree every year?” 

“Sometimes. It all depended on what set her off. She’d sometimes find something like a tartan ribbon, and she’d spin a whole design off of that. We had another little tree in our basement that all of our homemade ornaments went on. We always put presents under that one.” 

“Do you want two?” 

“Trees?” 

“Yeah, one upstairs and one downstairs.”

“Do you?”

He shrugged. “We could put one by the lucky couch.” 

The lucky couch being the suede couch. She’d jokingly called it that after their escapades when the Canucks clinched into the playoffs, “I feel like all I do on this couch is get lucky,” and the name had stuck.  

“Do you want that?” she asked now, looking at him seriously. 

Closing his eyes, he tried to imagine what that would be like. Ultimately, he shrugged, “wouldn’t hurt.” 

She laughed a little. “How about we sort the theme first?” 

He nodded, glad that she had some kind of a plan. 

“Why don’t we split up for a minute? We’ll each find a few things we like, and hopefully, a theme will come out of that.” It was something her mom often did when working with clients. It brought out shared styles. 

“Okay.” 

Sarah wandered off with the cart, heart so full she felt like it might just push into her mouth. 

After five minutes, when Quinn didn't come back, she went looking for him. She found him on one of the fringe aisles, locked in a conversation with a star struck fan. 

He glanced up when she rounded the corner. 

When it became obvious that the person currently holding his attention wouldn't let up anytime soon, he waited for them to finish their thought about the upcoming game and then started to excuse himself. “It was nice talking with you, but I need to be going.” 

“Oh,” the guy seemed to remember they were standing in Costco, “of course. Thanks for chatting, man.” 

They shook hands, and Quinn stepped around him to join up with Sarah. 

“Did you find anything, or did you immediately get bombarded?” 

The smile he sent her way was indulgent. “I got a bit of a look.” Taking the other end of the cart, he pulled her down one of the decor aisles and pointed out some different shaped gold glass ornaments. 

“I liked those, too, but I liked the silver better.” 

“We could get both,” Quinn suggested, lifting a box of each color into the cart. 

“You want to go metallic?”

One side of his mouth twisted. 

“So, no,” Sarah laughed. “What do you think instead?” 

“I don’t know. I just think only metallic is kind of weird.” 

“Okay,” Sarah turned to another section of baubles and started putting them between the silver and gold. 

They discussed the combinations but couldn’t agree on what colors looked better together. 

“Why don’t we just do two trees,” Quinn suggested after having the same circular conversation twice. 

Sarah agreed, glad he brought it up again.  

“Do you want two live ones?” 

“I think we should get one fake one. I’m already a little worried I’m going to forget to water the one.” 

“Do we have to water it?” 

“I’d imagine so. It’s a living plant, isn’t it?” 

He’d never thought about it. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Didn’t you have real trees growing up?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, before sheepishly adding on, “but my mom did all of that.”   

Just as he expected, Sarah snorted. “I can’t believe your dad made your mom take care of something for a holiday she doesn’t even celebrate.” 

“She celebrated Christmas,” Quinn argued. “It’s not like she was against it or something.” 

“It’s the principle of the thing.” 

He smiled indulgently at her. 

They spent another hour wandering around Costco, deciding what to buy. Sarah tried not to wince at the price when it totaled on the checking screen. It was their first year, after all. These things would always be basics they could use over and over again. 

After loading it in the back of his car and starting for home, Sarah spoke again. “Quinn?”

He glanced at her, worry etched onto his face. 

“I just wanted to say thank you again,” she assured, reaching for his hand. “This was so thoughtful and kind.”

A  smile spread over his face, “you don’t need to thank me, Sarah. “I like when I can do something special for you.” 

It wasn’t a strange thing to her anymore, to be with such a caring partner, who not only remembered things about her, but put them to use. Just the other day, he’d brought a set of playing cards home from Seattle after she mentioned wanting to use some different ones in her research with Walter. 

Quinn let her pull his hand into her lap, glad that he’d pulled this off and that she’d enjoyed it so much.   

When the day of the party arrived, Sarah was feeling remarkably calm. 

While they were planning, she felt the weight of hosting the team as the Captain’s girlfriend like a physical thing she had to uphold. Not only did she want everyone to have a good time, she felt it was partially her responsibility to represent Quinn well. Not that he couldn’t do that on his own. He could. It just felt like another mantle she had to uphold and worried she would somehow fail or let him down.

After sharing these fears with her therapist, she helped her to remember that while her fears were understandable, there wasn’t really any basis for them. She’d already spent time with the team with the title of the captain’s girlfriend. The only difference now, as Jenny pointed out, was that she and Quinn were living together. “Which,” Jenny told her, “really only solidifies your relationship. If the team had any issues with Quinn dating you, they would have brought them up a long time ago.” 

Now, as she got ready, hosting their first party together felt like a cementing step in their relationship. It felt a bit like something out of a fairy tale. 

Pulling at the skirt of her dress until it fell the way it was meant to, she smoothed her hands over her hips as she smiled. It’d been a ridiculously long process to find the right dress, but now that she was on the other side of it, the final result was well worth work.

After going shopping with Bella and Katelyn, she came home empty handed.  Everything they'd found was too…much. Too frilly, or too plain. Nothing fit correctly, or it didn’t cover what she wanted covered or didn’t flatter her body. She didn’t even have an image in her head of what she wanted to wear (she rarely did), but nothing they found felt right. 

She’d be lying if she didn’t acknowledge that dress hunting had, at least partially, been so hard because she felt more than a little frumpy and even a little bit fat standing next to both beautiful women. Not that either of them did anything to make her feel that way. They were kind and nice, and two of her best friends among the wives and girlfriends. Still, anytime she tried on a dress, on top of it not being right, when she stood next to them, her eyes were automatically drawn to her hips and stomach, which were so much rounder than either of theirs. 

Generally, body image didn’t bother her - she knew she was attractive and knew Quinn found her attractive. Even knowing that, she had a hard time turning off that comparison part of her brain when seeing herself reflected back next to the two thin women she was with. 

So, while both of them walked away with beautiful party dresses, Katelyn in a short, delicately sewn green frock, and Bella in a sparkly blue sweeping number, Sarah was forced to go hunting for the perfect dress online. Knowing she was running out of time, she bought fourteen, figuring she would return what she didn’t like.

Of course, it was the last one - which arrived only a week before the party - that finally sang to her. Even Quinn commented on it when he saw it hanging in the closet, telling her, “I like this one.”

“Yeah?” 

He’d nodded, offered her a cheeky smile as he said, “I can't wait to see what it looks like on you.”  

At the time, she’d laughed and shaken her head, but with the way he was looking at her now, she knew he hadn’t been lying. 

“Wow,” Quinn said, eyes scanning up and down her body when Sarah walked out of the walk-in closet.

The sparkly fabric cradled her curves as if it had been made for her. He especially liked the way it just barely cupped her ass before billowing down to the floor. He’d never seen her in something so fancy - they’d never had the occasion to dress up like this. 

Thoughts of past prom and formal dates skipped through his mind, and he decided she was the prettiest date he’d ever had. Especially with the way the dark red color turned her eyes a stormy blue.

She gave him a teasing, little smile, “you like it?” 

Scoffing, he gave up fighting the impulse to grasp her hips. The fabric was smooth and surprisingly soft under his palms. He’d expected the tinsel-y shine to be scratchy. Whoever made it knew what they were doing. 

“I don’t know how I’m going to keep my hands off you all night,” he said as his eyes drank in her figure one more time. 

Slipping her arms around his neck, she gave him a seductive smile and a wink, “lucky for you, I think we could arrange for you to take me home tonight.” 

“Really?” he teased, one hand sliding around to cradle that curve of her butt he’d been admiring earlier. 

“Play your cards right, and I think you just might.” 

“I might have to corner you under the mistletoe before then.”

“I thought you hated mistletoe,” she said, rolling her eyes. He'd been mildly horrified when he found she'd hung two sprigs of it in the apartment – one in the front hall and one in the doorway to the kitchen. 

“I don’t know that I’d hate it with you,” he said, voice soft as he caressed her hips again. “I hated when people would try to corral me under it with some girl they wanted me to date,” he explained. “If it means I get to kiss you, I’m going to take advantage every time I can.” 

Thinking of past Christmases and failed mistletoe attempts, Quinn was so struck by her. His life from a year ago had been turned totally upside down. All in good ways, but it was still startling to glance back at how lonely he was last Christmas in comparison to the joy, love, and contentment he felt this year. 

 “You’re going to be the prettiest girl here,” he said, unable to stop himself from looking her over again.

Though she smiled, she snorted and rolled her eyes. 

“You will be,” he insisted, pulling her against him. He couldn’t fight not touching her more. 

Deciding she was too tired to push back against his compliments, Sarah leaned in to press her lips to his. With her heels on, he was just an inch taller than she was. Kissing Quinn was never difficult, but she did enjoy the easier access their closer heights allowed for. 

He mumbled a noise, his other hand coming up to cup the back of her head to intensify the kiss. 

As she broke away, he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “are you not wearing any underwear?”

Her eyes fluttered open. “What?” she asked, a laugh splitting her mouth into a natural, pretty smile. 

“I can’t feel anything,” he explained, running his palm over her bum again. 

“Strictly speaking? No.” 

His eyes grew round with shock. 

“But I have shape wear on, so it’s kind of worse. Harder to get off.”

An almost relieved smile crossed his face. 

“Why?” 

“I just…I was gonna have a real hard time tonight if you weren’t wearing anything under this dress,” he admitted as his palm slid up the curve of her body.

“I don’t think I could face a party with your teammates without any underwear on.”

“Too bad,” he tsked, “then I really wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you all night.” 

“Be a good boy,” she admonished, moving his fingers from where they were sneaking under the straps.

Licking his lips, Quinn looked into her face, his expression eager. 

She held his gaze, letting the tension build between them. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket, vibrating against her leg. He didn’t look away.

“That’ll be the food,” she said, breaking the spell. “You better go grab it.”

“Yeah.” Shaking his head gently, Quinn reminded himself they were heading into a party and now was not the time for him to start fantasizing. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Those pants still look super hot on you!” she called, following him. 

A few weeks before, she’d first told him she liked them by sending him a Canucks Instagram story that showed him walking through the arena parking garage, along with the message, got me drooling over your thighs in this suit. The gray fabric was cut close, making his legs look deliciously thick and muscled.

His laughter echoed off the windows as he jogged down the stairs. “I’m wearing them just for you!” he called back before the front door shut. 

Making her way down to the kitchen, Sarah surveyed the apartment on the way. They had decided to put the second tree next to the lucky couch, which only served to make the spot more romantic. Since it’d gone up, they’d spent at least one night a week curled up together reading by it’s light. It was decorated in silver and green, while the larger, fresh tree was decorated in classic red and gold, including some geometric diamonds her mom used in their last family tree. Sarah had asked her sister, Rachel, if she could send them to her. It was nice, having that little part of her mom in the house at a time they both loved so much, nice to see pieces of Quinn mixed in with everything. 

Other than the trees, there were no other holiday decorations besides a Christmas Village that had belonged to her dad, which was set up on the sideboard in the living room. 

An hour later, almost everyone was there, dressed in their holiday finery. 

Quinn had an incredibly soft, dark green cashmere sweater on over top of a white dress shirt. He’d almost worn the bomb cufflinks Sarah had given him, but at the last minute, he decided it would be more practical if he rolled his sleeves up.

The way Sarah’s eyes lingered on his forearms when he had told him he made the right choice. 

Sarah had insisted the men needed to wear slacks, “if the women are putting on dresses, it’s the least you can do. No dude gets to show up in jeans when women have to wear shape wear.” 

He said he saw her point and dropped the bad news on the boys the following day. 

“Oh my God!” Bella gushed, walking into the house. “It looks gorgeous in here!” 

“Thank you. It was really fun to decorate together for the first time.”

“Huggy helped with this?” Brock asked dubiously, walking up and slipping an arm around Bella’s waist. Sarah swore they both could wear head to toe hunting orange and still be the most beautiful couple she’d ever seen. Seeing them dressed for the season was like looking into a catalog, two perfect people in exactly the perfect clothes, matched to perfection. If they stood by the tree, she was pretty sure she could submit the picture to any department store in the world, and they’d put them in an ad without question. It was quite stunning, really. 

“He did,” Sarah said, beaming. “We decided on the theme together and got decorations, and we put up the trees before you guys left over Thanksgiving.” 

“Brock never helps with stuff like that,” Bella teased. 

“I offered!” Brock corrected. “She said she doesn't trust my taste,” he told Sarah conspiratorially before dropping a kiss to Bella’s cheek and announcing, “I’m going to get us drinks.” 

“Oh my god,” Bella exclaimed once he was gone, “where did you find this dress? It’s, like, perfect!” 

“Its from this Australian company called Blackmilk. It was the last one to arrive,” Sarah said with a roll of her eyes, “of course.” 

“Well, it was worth the wait. You look killer. Your ass looks insane.” 

Sarah laughed, “the spanx have a lot to do with that.”

Bella shook her head, “no. You have a great ass. I wish I had curves like yours.”

Glancing down at herself, then at Bella’s petite frame, Sarah wondered who it served for women to be pitted against each other this way. The beauty industry, probably. Whoever invented spanx. 

“That's sweet, thank you.” 

Bella hooked her arm through Sarah's and demanded a tour of the apartment with everything decorated. 

Watching from across the living room as Sarah opened the door, looking comfortable and every part the hostess, Quinn smiled, glad to see her feeling so at home. 

He was only a little surprised to see the Millers on the other side of the door. He’d invited them, but didn’t hear anything back.

“I’m so glad you could make it!” Sarah gushed, accepting the box of chocolates Natalie offered, before wrapping her in a hug.  

There had been some debate whether or not the Millers would be able to attend - it was their first team function in quite a while - but Sarah was extremely glad they were here. It wouldn’t feel like a team party without them. 

“Come in, come in. We have cocktails and mocktails and lots of food,” she said, turning to embrace JT.

He smiled, uncharacteristically quiet. 

Natalie stayed by Sarah’s side as he wandered into the party, getting progressively louder as he bro-hugged and took some ribbing from his teammates, jibing them in turn as if no time had passed. “Thank you for not making a big deal of this,” she said. 

Sarah shrugged, “I’m just glad you’re here.” 

The other woman gave her a watery smile, and Sarah took her arm to pull her into the house, “what can I get you to drink?” 

The one thing Quinn hadn’t counted on when planning this party was how much he’d be separated from her. When they attended parties in the past, they were often together, or at least not apart for long. Now, with the role of hosts, they had people to talk to and drinks to refresh, and it felt like everything was pulling them away from each other, rather than closer together. 

As the night went on, even though they were still separated, Quinn found he always seemed to know where Sarah was. Not just from her laugh, which he did hear in abundance, or from glimpsing light glinting off her sparkly dress, which occasionally flashed in the corners of his vision. No, it was that same magnetic force that pulled him to her the first time he saw her, still in full effect.

He was talking with Conor when he felt that longing hook in his navel, nudging him in her direction. 

When he looked up, however, he couldn’t see her. It only took a moment for her to reappear, walking from the kitchen, smiling at something Meghan was showing her on her phone. Probably photos of Quint, he guessed. She had a new bottle of Perrier in one hand and a bowl of ice in the other. 

As if sensing his gaze, she glanced up. 

She winked, and a ridiculous, cheesy smile took over his whole face. 

Once their eyes met, their connection followed suit, snapping into alignment as they held each other's gaze. He was on the other side of the apartment, in the living room, but for a brief moment, it seemed everyone else fell away and they were alone in the house again. 

They’d taken pictures in front of the Christmas tree at the beginning of the night as soon as Elias and Katelyn had arrived and could hold the camera. Sarah wanted to send them to her family. He’d smiled when the photo had popped up in the chat she had with his family. His mom had almost immediately hearted the photo and gushed over how beautiful Sarah looked in her dress. 

You look nice too, Quinn, Luke had quipped. 

That had been the last time he had his hands on her, and watching her chat with Meghan as she tipped fresh ice into the metal bucket, he was itching to touch her again. 

“So, what did you think of that video session today?” Conor asked. 

“Hu?” Quinn murmured, unable to tear his eyes from Sarah as she started to laugh. 

Conor followed his sightline. “Oh god, you’re hopeless,” he murmured. “Go get your fix, then come talk to me,” he said, tone only half joking as he pushed Quinn’s shoulder in the direction of the kitchen. 

“Can I borrow her for a minute?” Quinn asked, throwing a smile in Meghan's direction as he walked up to them. 

Not waiting for an answer, he took the bowl from Sarah's hand, setting it on the bar cart and leading her back in the direction of the kitchen by a loose grip on her upper arm. 

“Quinn, what's wrong?” she asked, glancing back to make sure Meghan didn't feel abandoned. Thankfully, Natalie had taken her place in the conversation.

“Nothing wrong,” he said, stopping to lean in the kitchen doorway. 

One of her eyebrows raised, “you just needed to come hang out in the kitchen?” 

A snort of laughter escaped his mouth before he pointed up. Sarah followed his finger to the little sprig of fake mistletoe she’d hung there. “I thought you were joking,” she said, her eyes coming back to his face. 

“About this dress?” he asked, slipping his hands over her hips and around to hold her bum. “Or about wanting to kiss you under the mistletoe?” 

She glanced back to the party, hoping no one caught Quinn groping her so openly. “I don't know. About the cornering bit, I guess.”

A smile crept over his face, “how else was I supposed to guarantee we'd end up here together?” 

Sarah tried to roll her eyes but ended up smiling instead. It was nice to feel so wanted. 

“I missed you,” he said, nudging her to step toward him by tightening his hands. 

“Quinn, people can see,” she admonished, even as she moved closer. 

“So?”  

“So you have your hands all over my ass in plain sight.” 

“I don’t think anyone would blame me for wanting to touch you in this dress,” he said.

A thrill spiked in her chest. She’d never had this much pull over a man. “And what were you hoping for under this mistletoe?” she asked.

“Just need a minute to tide me over until the party ends,” he murmured, leaning in. 

His lips brushed over hers. 

Deciding she didn’t care if people saw, Sarah sighed into him. Everyone knew they were dating, after all. More than dating - they were living together. They were throwing a party together. No one would be shocked to see them under the mistletoe. 

Allowing herself to sink into the kiss, she opened her mouth and welcomed the sweet, tangy taste of his tongue. He must have just drunk some of the cranberry punch she made. 

 A contented noise escaped his mouth, and Quinn leaned a little closer, savoring the hint of chocolate liqueur in her mouth. 

The knowledge that his entire team and their partners were in the house caught up to him, and Quinn pulled back. He didn’t really want to, but he also didn’t want the ribbing that would surely come his way if it went any farther.  

He just needed to make it to that evening anyway. 

Pursing his lips together, he met her eyes.

Her smile told him she was looking just as forward to the end of the party as he was. 

The anticipation of it spiked in his stomach, making him feel giddy. 

The laughter and drinks kept flowing long after the gift exchange wound down.

 In an effort to do something different from the year before, they’d proposed a white elephant type exchange, but each gift had to be worth at least 100 dollars and something nice, not jokey. 

The most fought over gifts were a bottle of imported Irish Whiskey Dakota brought and a diamond necklace Sarah had found in a vintage shop along her regular route home.

Quinn ended up with a pair of tickets to a cooking class with a local chef, while Sarah ended up with a ridiculously soft cashmere scarf. 

Though Sarah expected that everyone, with their rigorous travel schedules, would want to get home as soon as possible, it seemed they all were savoring the time together without their kids and without the pressure of practice or a game. 

It was nice to see all the guys casual and carefree in a way that didn’t happen very often. She rarely saw the whole team so relaxed together. 

When it became evident that everyone would be staying much later than anticipated, Sarah started to readjust her expectations for the evening. The way things were going, they’d be too tired to do anything but do a quick clean of the apartment and flop into bed when the night wound down. 

Quinn was chatting with Lankinen in the kitchen, looking so effortlessly handsome in his sweater and slacks. Those slacks really should be a crime. his thighs looked good enough to bite. And then he’d gone and rolled up his sleeves. He had strong wrists and forearms, and when he wore shirts like this, she always felt a strange surge of attraction to them. 

As she continued to stare, just as she expected would happen, he looked up to meet her gaze. 

She gave a subtle head tilt toward the entry hall and raised her eyebrows. 

A smile crept over his face, and he nodded. 

Trying to be casual, she made her way to the front door. She’d hung mistletoe in the entryway, imagining kissing each other hello and goodbye at the door, even though that rarely happened in their everyday life. 

By the time Quinn was able to make his excuses and follow Sarah to the front door, she’d been there for several minutes, He found her leaning against the wall, with her head tilted back, seemingly savoring the time alone. 

He was just wondering if he should leave and come back when she glanced over. 

A smile immediately spread over her face, and she straightened.

“You okay?” he asked, closing the distance between them. 

“Yeah.” Her voice was quiet, just for him. 

Slipping her arms around his neck, she met his eyes. Even in the dim, entryway light, she could see how the color of his sweater brought out the green in his eyes, making them a mottled, foresty color.

“You should wear green more often.”

The left corner of his mouth tipped up. “I should?” 

“Yeah.” Her fingers wove themselves into the curls at the base of his skull. “It brings out the color in your eyes.” 

He fluttered his lashes, and she giggled. “Can you just learn to take a compliment?” 

A blush flashed over his cheeks. 

“You’re just really handsome,” she said, almost as if it was a confession. 

Quinn resisted the urge to deflect the compliment and busied himself with running his hands over the smooth fabric of her dress. “You should wear this all the time.” 

“All the time?” she repeated. 

He nodded. 

“Even at the aquarium?” 

A laugh chuffed out of his mouth. “Okay, maybe not all the time,” he continued before she could cut in, “you just look really beautiful in it.” 

She knew how Quinn felt about this dress, he’d made that abundantly clear throughout the night - checking her out each time she entered the room and with his little stunt in the kitchen - but hearing the sincerity in his voice now made it burrow home with a bit more force. 

It was her turn to blush. 

“You’re doing okay?” he asked. “I can start telling people they need to leave.” 

She shook her head, “You don’t need to do that. I’m having fun. Just wanted you to myself for a minute.” 

Quinn felt a ridiculously big smile spread over his face. “Always happy to do that,” he said, leaning closer. 

As their mouths melted together, Sarah thought she heard shushing but pushed the whispers out of her mind, relishing the stolen moment alone. 

She didn’t think about it for the rest of the night, which lasted well into the next morning. By the time everyone left, after Natalie and JT stayed late to help them clean up, it was past two. 

Glancing at her phone for the first time after loading the dishwasher, Sarah was surprised to see she had a message from Katelyn. When she opened it, she found a dimly lit photo of her and Quinn in the entryway, kissing under the mistletoe. His hands were on her waist, and hers were in his hair. Through her editing magic, Kate had blurred everything else in the background, making the photo look just like Sarah felt in that moment – as if she and Quinn were in their own little bubble. 

Caught you guys under the mistletoe. It was too cute not to take a pic. Hope you don’t mind. Thanks for a great party. E was telling me on the way home how happy Q’s been since he met you. Anyway, just glad this crazy world brought us together. Love you, girl. 

 Love you too. Thank you for the beautiful picture. 

Katelyn hearted the message, and when Sarah showed it to Quinn, he said, “that one should go in the launch deck, don’t you think?”

Sarah nodded, her movement slow with sudden fatigue.

“Come on,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and leading her away from the kitchen and the dishes. “We can finish this up in the morning. Let’s get to bed.” 

Too tired to argue that they really should just get it all done now, she let him lead her upstairs. 

They got ready for bed, and as he pulled her close, Quinn whispered, “I love you, you know that?” 

“I know.” It took a sleepy minute for her to continue, “I love you, too. I’m glad we did this.”

Tucking his nose into her hair, Quinn breathed in her familiar scent. His voice was dim when he thanked her. 

She turned, pressing her nose into the divot of his collar bone so he felt and heard her next words. 

“I’m glad this Christmas is with you.” 

 “I wouldn’t want it with anyone else.” 

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

[dottie-n-stripes]

foamcoming messages gave me a mind to draw this out. first off it's based off of part of a lovely fic my dear pal jeff wrote awhile back!

the way i see this is it's like the first year dottie and stripes become friends and go to this dinky middle school dance and honestly it's pure in the sense it's really before either of them feel complicated by any sort of romantic feelings towards each other, they're just besties being silly. it's really just linus being a menace that makes stripes feel like he has to Do something LOL and it makes him feel like a really bad friend and dottie feels terrible for not knowing how to react

obvs they purposefully forget all about this and they kind of subconsciously swear off dances till eventually they do catch the feels and go to a foamcoming or two and then ofc theyll have to do prom one day heh :)c

[rainbow-arrow]

lukadrian: running away/playing hooky for a day(maybe a weekend). They deserve it.

yes yes yes yes i love prompts and silly stories and these boys and i've been wanting to write something silly with adrien crushing on luka first (with a luka crushing on chat ofc lol)

(it's after wishmaker, before season four finale, aka my Favorite time)

a/n: okay so it took me two months bc i experienced massive dread and amnesia and i wrote another fic and updated wato (mistake i guess) but now i have a full fic for it:

A snippet:

Luka stopped the moment he realized he was being watched, tugging his earbuds from his ears and turning to see none other than Adrien Agreste leaning against the wall, just off the Liberty. He shoved his headphones in his pocket before waving, “Hey there–”

“Hi,” Adrien half waved, as if expecting an invitation to walk closer, “You busy?”

He looked down at his bike, guitar in basket, and knowing he had both a backpack and helmet on, so clearly in the middle of trying to head to school, but Adrien had never just appeared like this– something had to be either very wrong, or very right, the former much more likely, “Not at all, something up?”

Adrien was clearly watching him as he leaned his bike against his leg to unclip his helmet, “I know you probably have class– I do too, but could we talk? Go somewhere maybe– just, forget about everything for a bit?”

“Yeah, definitely,” he said, too quickly, based on the blond's almost surprised reaction, “Do you have a plan, or general idea on what you want to do, or–” Adrien shrugged, tired and non-committal, “You ever played hooky before?”

He shook his head, “No, why would I?”

Luka couldn’t help but smile at such a question, “Fair– let me put my stuff down and we can go wherever–” 

Adrien followed him, more like a lost puppy, around the boat as he put away his school belongings, on the deck and down to his room. Hopefully, he wanted to talk, and Luka was desperately ready to listen, “Everyone recognizes me here–” Adrien eventually explained, unprompted, “People post me and my bodyguard and Nathalie track me down, my phone is being tracked– I left it at home, but it’ll take time for them to notice–”

“Then let’s get out of Paris,” Luka said, Adrien looking almost surprised, but genuinely pleased with his suggestion, as though he was already thinking it himself, “Just hop on a train and go where it takes us.”

---------------------

sorry this took forever and a half in my defense i do not remember the last three months. and i graduated.

i'm taking suggestions and prompts now i guess!!!!!

[autumnapple-juicebox]

I love this blog so much! I'd love to see some more art of the daycare itself or the caregivers working with the kids in each of theor jobs. Is there any plans for that in the future? also I'd love to know more about the real world vs daycare/digital world and how that works! this is such a comfy and cozy story!

Thank you so much friend !!

This answer will be a little long as I'll go through each point! And also because I'm a yapper </3

This whole story started as a silly conversation between me and my friend Omu because we both love daycare AUs and are generally big comforts to us. The real world is not any different while the digital one, as stated in the other ask I answered, is set in an old fashioned flash games site.

The Kinito digital pet was not successful, so Sonny decided to aim at a younger audience compared to the teens. He make a few flash games and rebranded the mascots to match the purpose of their new ambience

Tho, Sonny used the same code of the digital pet to make sure Kinito was able to learn what the kids needed, hence making him sentient. He saw how a lot of kids were sad, some bullied even by their own parents, so he did the most reasonable thing he could think of: a safe place for them.

Everytime a kid would be sad, Kinito would bring them to the daycare for a while, then bring them back to the real world. Of course, this concerned parents and threatened Sonny's project but the latter saw it as an opportunity to solve oh so many problems related to parenting. The daycare was a free spot to leave the kids at if the parents had to stay away, the parents could ask for tips to the digital caregivers if they found themselves stuck, and in bad situations Kinito was able to connect to the Child Protective Services through internet. Since the site was free, the money was obtained through merch, but there was also an option for donations on the site and subscriptions for exclusive merch.

With the story settled, to answer your questions, I am absolutely planning to draw and write lots of stuff! I will post the doodles I already have in a bit now that the PSA cards are ready. On the other hand I'm hesitant to share the fics I wrote because they contain a little mention to bad parenting and impure regression (which, for context, is when you regress under high levels of stress and you find yourself stuck in that state)

In the meantime tho I can give you some more headcanons!

Each caregiver's appearance, as you can see, resembles their respective role.

Kinito is the main mascot and is a plushy, based also a lot on Winnie the Pooh. He's very patient and sweet and is in charge of anything that happens during day time, whether it'll be playing, reading, teaching, coloring and so on

Sam is in charge of night time and is a night light, can change the intensity of his light and also the warmth of his body. Kids all dogpile on him when it's nap time because he's super warm and cozy

Jade is the mother figure of all kids and adults included, she's in charge of snack time and she's based off a teething toy! She also helps teaching kids to clean after themselves (usually Sam is included with the kids for his laziness /silly)

Another silly thing all of them can do is pull a command prompt and turn you into a kid, that's what basically happens to Aspen all times he's portrayed as a child. They can physically make you regress and let you participate in all the activities, they care a lot for their fellow age regressors just as much they care for their kids

The daycare in general is structured very similar to the one on FNAF:Security Breach, that place is very comforting for me especially Sun and Moon so ofc I based myself off of that hehe

The main area is the day time one, with different places for different activities, then on the sides there would be the snack time area and nap time area, so every caregiver has its place but can still move around to interact with the kids

Helpers are always welcome! All of the other human caregivers are active volunteers from the real world! Whether it'll be because they like doing it in their free time or because they want a place to train themselves in the subject, maybe soon to be parents considering the options even.

Of course this brings to a huge utopia but who cares am I right? We deserve to be happy <3

[devondespresso]

Wiggly-Worm Wednesday!! 🧠🪱

speeding through this before Wednesday ends (the deadline is both extremely malleable and entirely self-enforced and also time isn't real)

tagged by the lovely @hbyrde36 thank you!!

Today the worms are Connected they're connecting dots and doing a great job at it!

my non-fic worm is kinda branching off the first 1k i wrote for stwg's fic exchange, which then hopped skipped and jumped over into its own idea and now I'm enjoying my down time imagining the shenanigans of Robin sneaking Steve over post s4, like living in her bedroom hiding in the closet shenanigans cause his parents aren't back and the hospital had to discharge him to help other patients and she can't just leave him home alone that's a recipe for disaster so really she basically had no choice but to sneak him in through her ground-floor window with a duffel bag under her bed and steal a couple of her dads button down shirts because Steve's a dingus and didn't bring any even though any pullover is a pain in the back-and-tricep-roadrash right now.

so of course robins parents find out because stashing away a whole ass adult man in a bedroom for more than a day or so is actually pretty difficult even when he's not gravely injured. in my head they're pretty understanding after they get to cool down a bit, its not like steve was never around before and he'd always been polite, plus even if they still did think stobin were secretly dating, they're clearly not doing anything and the only reason Robin didn't just ask was because she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

And then on the actual wips front i had the brilliant why-didnt-i-think-of-this-sooner idea to pick a wip to work on based on what i was brainworming just for fun, which led me to my actual stobin wip and within like 20 minutes i had a couple epiphanies about the connective themes im exploring like realizing what i was putting together without realizing. (cut because oh god this got long fast)

Its ended up being a lot about gender, the imaginary wall between girls and guys in a friendship sense that feels solid just because you haven't had the proof that its not really there yet, the heteronormativity and amatonormativity driving a wedge between possible friendships. in this fic, robins really apprehensive about forming any kind of connection with steve because she's had the experience of guys only being interested in dating that she has a lot of mistrust around and m/f friendships that start forming (and ofc it ends with post starcourt platonic with a capital P soulmateisms 💕). i also have this little struggle where like if i can name multiple important theme-y words i fear ive got too many going on, so i was afraid this whole loneliness thing I've got for robin was going to conflict with the gender thing but i think ive got it sorted, they're different levels and their connected ideas, robins escape from loneliness means she has to break through her internal gender wall and let it be broken, plus the loneliness is going to be more explicit in the text because robins like fully aware of it while the gender stuff is probably going to stay mostly subtext and be much broader, popping up in steves pov area too and really all around them.

also had no clue how relevant it would be but steve and robin are like perfectly balanced blurred gender lines like steve is a masculine dude comfortable in his masculinity that also has a healthy relationship with his feminine trait, the hair stuff the babysitter/mom friend thing, he's not ashamed of any of it (and actually i had a longer post on Steve's gender balance somewhere in my drafts but we don't have time rn) and then robins like practically the same in her expression of femininity, she's as far as we see comfortably a girl, wears makeup, loved that movie about doomed love, she's got her feminine traits but also likes dabbling in masculine traits, she dresses more masc (tho its still a solid middle ground, comfort is a big focus), she likes ufos and creepy stuff and jokes about spider babies in hair. idk it just felt like they're a matching set as far as gender goes, if they did combine into one being they'd be bigender 100%

anyway uhhh this got long thank you for sticking around fyjdtjdgjdyj

tagging (no pressure and no deadline, im sorry Wednesday is already basically over dyjxjydgj): @momotonescreaming @stellarspecter @dreamwatch @pearynice @withacapitalp

@queenie-ofthe-void @carolperkinsexgirlfriend @writing-kiki @eriquin @eyesofshinigami

(Vague Rules just in case this makes no sense xtjsdjtdyj: it's technically just Wiggly Wednesday and its where you just post your brainworms/fun ideas of the past week/day/whatever. its super loose, i like talking about brainworms for things ill never write and things im currently writing but you can do whatever. no set number of ppl to tag, just have fun!)

@puppy-steve @hairstevington @hotluncheddie @gleek4twd @klausinamarink

@soaringornithopter

[backtothestart02]

FANFIC TAGGING GAME

I got (honorable) tagged by the wonderful @theartofdreaming1- thanks!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? - 321

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,322,068 words (at the moment)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Still writing for The Flash, but every once in a while a new show/movie grabs my fancy and I write a few fics for that.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

An unimpressive bunch but here goes: Muse (456), Replacement Scrunchie (393), Fallen Star (357), Inconvenient Inspiration (343), and Drabbles (277). Muse is a handful of one-shots based solely off spoilers before I saw the eps they were for. Replacement Scrunchie is my sole fic for the TATBILB fandom about Peter & LJ's first date (which was way less impressive than what the sequel movie gave us, WOW). Fallen Star is my most popular westallen fic to date, so that one's actually not too surprising. But both Inconvenient Inspiration and Drabbles are requested (the latter) and spontaneous (the former) brainstorming ficlets and snippets for The Flash/WA. Bo-ring.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Eventually.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, gosh, I have so many unfinished fics that it's hard to remember the complete ones that I finished that didn't end so happy, of which there aren't many. Maybe...Breaking Point though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All the others have happy endings. Go read them. Lol.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

When I wrote for another fandom I did, but not really in The Flash fandom, which is nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. And uh...descriptive, I guess? I'm def not the best out there, but I do my best and for the most part smut-lovers seem to enjoy.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've attempted a couple crossovers, but I haven't completed any or gotten far with them, usually because there wasn't an audience for it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah, I discovered a whole bunch on another website years ago.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

In the process of it!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Stuck on Westallen atm, but I used to write Chair, and I was highly obsessed with them as well.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh god, I have SO MANY WIPs. One that I really want to finish but fear I won't though has got to be He's MY Barry Allen. I'm just stuck on what the next chapter will look like, and as of yet no one has come forward with a solution. Lol. The Problem is Tony Woodward is another one like that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'd like to think I can hook people into my fics fairly well and drop enough cliffies to keep them coming back for more. But ofc the smut helps too. Most of my fics include at least some smut, even a single scene.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I have trouble making a chapter (or a scene for that matter) all that long. I've seen people write like 10k+ for a chap, and unless I'm crazy inspired, roughly 1-3k is what you're getting.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I actually dabbled in this a little bit for a westallen fic where Iris was learning Italian, I think? I did some research and managed to sift in enough for that one-shot, but I can't imagine I'd do it repeatedly or for a multi-chap.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I believe it was the STAR WARS prequels, but it might've been The Day After Tomorrow.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It's unfinished, but there's so much untapped potential in my Flashpoint fic. Lots of world-building that's present as it rides the line between canon divergent and AU. Hopefully one day I'll get back to it.

...

As much as I'd love to tag a bunch of people, I can't recall anyone who still writes fic that I follow on here, so I'll just shout out my bestie @simplylove101 who is prob done with writing but may want to answer these questions either way!

[brood-mother]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love 💕

okay so trying to whittle down the 69 (nice) fics i have post on ao3 so far to five definitive favs was hard, so here's five fics off the top of my head that i at least enjoy, from most recent to oldest

--

Our Joy Is Magenta and Gold (BG3, M, Tav/Astarion, 6202 words); "They say vampires can't feel love, only obsession - but it doesn't matter. Neither of them had ever been able to tell the difference anyway." - This incredibly self indulgent fic has it all: graphic mutilation, purple prose, insane homosexual activity, married domestic fluff, puns, organised crime, the whole shebang. I had a lot of fun writing it.

The Red Room (R6S, T, Doc/Lion, 14,647 words); "When a careless mistake lands them in quarantine, it's not the disease that's their biggest problem - it's each other." - While not my post popular fics numbers wise, I think TRR was probably my best received fic in terms of fandom response, and for good reason. I like what I wrote, I don't particularly care for the ending but otherwise I'm proud of it, and I think of this fandom with great fondness (they were very sweet and supportive).

Red Sky At Night (DA, M, Samson/Maddox, 4450 words); "The rise of the Red General began with two men and a missed headcount; or, how Samson was lost to the Chantry and found by Corypheus." - This fic and this ship in general was slept on. All hurt no comfort, my beloved.

Sic Semper Tyrannis (SW, E, Kylux, 49,934 words/unfin.); "Disturbed by manic dreams of gods and tyrants, the Emperor's troubled right hand is pulled from the front lines and sent to an isolated mountain base to recover - unwittingly delivered into the hands of an ambitious young General with the power to blur the lines between reality and depraved fantasy." - Part re-imagining of Venus In Furs, part love letter to overwrought gothic horror classics, SST would be my magnum opus...if I ever finished it (mark my words I will finish this one day! I have like 10k words languishing in google docs already!).

Soft to the Touch (MEA, E, Kandros/mRyder, 1850 words); "Tiran Kandros has a fetish for humans, but there's one human in particular that really catches his eye." - Post-Andromeda, I wrote so many xeno fics...I had to, hardly anyone else was picking up the slack! Honestly one of my favourite things ever is writing alien/human from the alien perspective, it's so much fun. (There was also a part two to this that fucked, plus Kaetus/Reyes gunplay, and the Gil/Kallo series ofc.)

--

so there you are. better go read them and comment.

[psychedelic-ink]

Hi Sil, I love your stories! It's amazing how many characters and tropes you're comfortable with! I just wanted to ask you if you have a favourite of your own fanfictions, or a story you wrote that feels closer to you than the others? Even more fics, if you can't choose one?

aw that's sweet of you to say nonnie thank you! I do have a couple of favorites actually 🌸🌸🌸

exile: joel miller x ofc!june

this is the first joel fic I've ever wrote--I wrote it with game joel in mind because the show hadn't came out yet. It's one of those fics that I feel like I poured a lot into and it took quite long to finish. Still to this day I keep it very near and dear to my heart

stay in bed: joel miller x reader, one sided tommy miller x reader

I think me mentioning this isn't a surprise at all dfvfd I didn't think much of it when I first posted but the more I wrote the more I added parts of me into the fic. This one is probably the one I'll eventually turn into a book after the one I'm currently working on

Chivalry Is Dead - Peter Parker x fem!Reader 

mostly because the reader is very much based off of me and I remember the time I've written it very fondly

Rises the Moon joel miller x mermaid!reader

I really had fun writing something I don't usually write and I feel like there is so much unsaid about this universe

[call-me-copycat]

Hiii

This is going to be reallyyyyyy random but i wanted to ask you for an advise

(Ofc if you dont feel like answering me its just fine 💕)

So i wanted to start writing fics but idk how to get to people and that people read me. So i wanted to know how you did it.

Thanks so much 🩶🩷🤍

Hi! Don't worry about it, I always enjoy getting any type of asks to answer ₍₍ ᕕ(´ ω` )ᕗ⁾⁾

For me, I started straight from scratch as I had no previous online presence anywhere at all

I did read a lot for years before I decided to post anything, but to others I seemingly just popped up out of thin air (´>∀<｀)ゝ

I literally only got Tumblr to be able to read more, and eventually I gathered the confidence to write a fic and post it

Bear in mind, it was small and rough, as I had no common theme or layout, and alongside that it felt as if I was screaming into the void as I didn't expect many people to check it out

But for me, consistency and tagging was key.

I wrote my first fic and immediately made a masterlist for others so they could see what they could ask of me, since I went off of other writers who allowed people to request from them

I mainly just went off of what other writers were doing, mimicking them a bit in order to gather my bearings and create a base for me to go off of

Eventually people began sending asks, and I would write what they wanted. I tagged each post with as many relevant tags as I could get it, and in turn more people saw my works

Now, I haven't written anything from scratch since that first fic, as all of my fics come from me fulfilling asks sent to me (people are certainly very creative! I love receiving such complex asks, as it shows how much these people trust me to write their ideas)

I think communication is also important to your audience, as I also read and respond to any comments suggesting things

I do think it helped that I mainly write for a popular character (Aizawa) in a popular fandom (My Hero Academia)

I also feel I should mention that even if you put your whole soul into a story, there's a large chance it'll still flop. The audience decides what they like more in the end, and I just go off of that

For example; my Escaping The Night series is my absolute favorite to write, yet it gets very little interaction (though there are some that really are into it), compared to my short story that I barely put any thought into (A Runaway's Hope) getting tons of attention out of nowhere

There are highs and lows, but we all start from somewhere, I believe it just starts with taking that first step and going from there.

I do hope this helps just a little bit, the beginning is normally a little rough for most people, but I have faith you can do it! ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)��✧

Start off small, because as long as it's there then it's something to start you off of (๑>ᴗ<๑)

I hope you have a lovely day! If you have anymore questions feel free to send in more asks \(❁´∀`❁)ﾉ𖤐´-

[lenievi]

💖 🤷‍♀️ 🌷

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

I wouldn't say pride and joy, but I reread it while I was walking the dog today and I truly do think it's good. Tell Me To Go (mckirk, E)

🤷‍♀️ What's a fic you didn't expect to be popular, but really took off?

I occasionally say this, but I'm extremely baffled that my spones day fic is so popular (your mileage might vary lol) - at the moment it has 196 kudos (and it isn't even a year) and it's number one in the collection. Which like why? I wrote it in my "writing spones is really hard atm" period, and it is the last spones fic I've written (or rather, finished, since I did try writing something for the zine, but failed lol), and I just really disliked writing it, so I just don't have pleasant memories concerning this fic, but people seem to love it. I understand why, because fluff and "didn't know they were dating" but... my feelings can't be changed.

The other fic is ofc my Kirk/La'an fic that I wrote in the middle of season 2 (and just a few weeks after the spones day fic and I had a blast compared to the spones fic). But I've never imagined that a het fic would be my most popular fic - or become number 1 fic for the ship on ao3 - especially when around that time the perception of SNW fandom was: people don't read SNW fics. And people still keep finding it, but I guess that's what it means to write something for an ongoing show.

🌷 What's one of your fics that isn't as popular, but you hold dear?

The Horrors of the Past - this is a Kirk/McCoy-ish fic set in the AU established in the finale of SNW s1, but it's a TOS fic. It was written before SNW2, and I just really wanted to explore Kirk's feelings after becoming the captain of the Farragut, so it's based on Obsession (the title also comes from Obsession). La'an is the XO because I say so.

[Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask Game Part II]

[nerdieforpedro]

12/17/2023 Weekend Update

We’re halfway through December already! The year will be over soon, so weird but it does happen every year. Anyhow, let’s get started.

Nerdie, you’ve got some new graphics. It looks…the pickle is starting at me.

Is it? Eh, it probably feels like it. I’ve been playing around on Canva after looking through other people’s accounts and masterlists. I’ve made some progress. The lists I’ve updated so far:

Dieter Bravo Masterlist (Betty liked this one so I’m leaving it as is.)

Frankie Morales Masterlist. (I found a side profile pic that screamed Frankie to me, I made it the largest picture.)

Joel Miller Masterlist (He screams to me that he drinks whiskey so it’s on his page also I edited the middle picture because you gotta understand how broad he is)

Dave York Masterlist (The Dave I wrote is a sadistic man who might be softening a little. I might have gotten a soft pic or two in there.)

What else have you been up to this week Nerdie?

Session Three of the Sard’ika Sessions went up. We’re half way through Space Buddies. I want to thank everyone who’s been reading and following along. Your comments and reblogs are always very sweet and have some great takes.

We did a Fic Authors Self rec this week in the tag games and we all gave five of our own fics we would recommend to readers. If you’re a writer and would like to do some signal boosting, you can try it out as well.

I was in the mood for some Dieter Bravo this week. I read quite a few fics with him in it and I somehow forgot that I had written a second chapter of my Dieter Bravo series that I started a couple months back. 😅 Yup, too many WIPs and not enough focus will do that.

The series is revolves around Dieter and our OFC Maya who is traveling to her younger brother’s destination wedding. She meets Dieter and chaos ensues. I made Dieter a goat papa and Dee may have an issue with the man who plays Poe Dameron. I won’t say his name because Dieter doesn’t react well to it at all.

Both chapters are on the Dieter Bravo Masterlist. I am working on chapter three. No clouds were harmed in the creation of the chapter.

How do you forget you started a series Nerdie?

Well, I kept reading others people’s fics, starting WIPs based off of different ideas and it fell off. I have three other series that are “paused” too. I haven’t had any ideas for them.

Plus I have two different challenges to work on and that are due soon.

What are those?

One is that pickle staring at you: The Pickled Peña challenge. Open to all writers who wanna try it. Have some fun trying to figure out a Peña pickle. Instructions are in the hyperlink above.

The other challenge is, well, involves Pedro characters, we were assigned one to get pegged. It’s the Peg That Middle Aged Man or PTMAM 2024. Go big, go forth and peg on! I think, but I have an outline. So, yeah… 😭 Totally on goal there.

We should know by know not to ask, it never goes where we think it’s gonna go. What else?

We spoke in our group about astrological signs. We had a very good discourse led by @goodwithcheese who told us what our sweaty palms looked like and gave us more insight. Pretty fun actually, I pondered I pondered hard.

I started another WIP (because it feels like I start a new one every 3 days) about Joel and Layla from my Sugar series. Them at Christmas, Joel spending more time with her family, what happened when he met them the first time, where they are now. The nylons will make a return, because I’m not sure I can see Joel without them now when I write him. It started out being @morallyinept ‘s fault but it’s all mine now. I won’t shift blame on that one.

Is there anything else Nerdie?

Just one more thing, I made volume 4 of my fanfic author recommendations so please check out their work and make sure to reblog. 😊

Stay warm, hydrated and safe,

Love Nerdie ❤️

[tkwrites]

Can We Try Again? - Tyler Seguin x ofc

Photo is my own

Title: Can We Try Again?

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Pre-established/Exes to Lovers: Tyler Seguin x ofc

Warnings: Mature content (18+ only), fingering (f receiving) described very briefly, but no actual smut, talks of anxiety disorders & medication used to control them.

Tropes: Exes to lovers, forced proximity, there’s only one bed! 

Summary: Theo Andrews and Tyler Seguin are in Finland for a winter wedding. When all the hotels in the city are sold out and the grooms brother is suddenly able to attend, they’re asked to share a glass hut despite the fact that they broke up six months previous. Will sharing such a small space force them to face the feelings neither of them have been able to let go of?

Word count: 13,000

Comments: Happy Winter Fic Exchange! I wrote this piece for @senditcolton. Nicole, I hope you enjoy what I came up with! I’ve never written Exes to Lovers before, but after staying in one of these glass huts on vacation a few months ago, I knew it would be the perfect setting for a forced proximity, exes to lovers fic. I know you mentioned wanting to visit Iceland, but in terms of semi-believable plot, Finland seemed like the better choice. So please forgive me for that. 

Many thanks to Demi @wyattjohnston for organizing this exchange! It’s always nice to get out of my comfort zone and write some new tropes for some new players.

I've been working on this piece for a long time, and I'm so glad to have it done. I really enjoy the way this turned out, and I hope you like it, too. If you did, please consider commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. Your comments and encouragement always encourage me to keep writing. 

I promise we'll get back to our regular Quinn & Sarah programing shortly now that this is done.

Can We Try Again? 

 It was already dark when she landed. 

They were so far north, it shouldn’t have been shocking, but Theo still found herself pulling her phone from her back pocket to check the time. Just past 3pm. Great, now on top of the jet lag, she felt completely disoriented.

 She lost 8 hours because of the time change. Now, with the sun already down, it felt like she’d lost an entire day. 

  Fiia had messaged while she was in the bathroom, putting on the base layers she didn’t want to wear on the flight, but knew she’d need once she left the airport. I'm in the hallway just outside baggage claim whenever you're ready. So as soon as her suitcase came off the conveyor belt, she made her way out of the tiny airport. 

“Theo!” someone called as soon as the double doors slid open. “You made it!” 

All five feet of Fiia Forssell - beautiful, blonde and bride-to-be - seemed to be vibrating with excitement as she jumped in front of Theo, hugging her before trying to wrench her carryon out of her hands. 

“That’s my equipment,” Theo explained, pulling the handle out of her gloved grip. 

“I’ll take this then,” Fiia said, reaching for the other suitcase. 

Theo let her take it, knowing it would be easier than trying to convince Fiia she could handle it on her own. 

“Joel’s in the car, keeping it warm,” she said, walking out into the dark. “It’s too cold tonight.” 

Having grown up in the Finnish North, Fiia was impervious to most cold, especially the little bit they got in Texas. If she was saying it was too cold, Theo knew it must be freezing. 

She was right. The chill bit into her cheeks and bare hands as soon as they stepped onto the snowy sidewalk. She hadn’t thought pulling gloves from her backpack would be worth it as they were just walking to the car, but she immediately wished she had. This was a cold like she’d never felt before. It wasn’t just uncomfortable. It hurt.

“He’s just here,” Fiia said, pointing to a small, blue SUV. 

Joel nodded from the driver's seat, catching her eye in the rearview mirror when Theo greeted him as they loaded her things. She pulled her gloves out and waited until everything else was in place to set her equipment on top. 

“Fuck it’s cold,” Theo said, scrambling into the back seat of the warm car. 

“Welcome to Finland,” Joel said with a lilt of humor in his voice.

Fiia got into the front seat and closed her door. When Joel didn’t take the car out of park, she asked, “what?” 

He responded in their native language. 

A prickle of worry crept up Theo’s spine. She’d known Joel and Fiia for a long time. They both spoke excellent English, so any communication in Finnish was usually meant to hide the meaning from anyone else in the conversation. 

Fiia huffed a breath through her nose before muttering a response and turning in her seat to look at Theo. “We have some bad news.” 

“Okay,” Theo said hesitantly. Was the wedding off? Surely they would have told her not to make the trip if the wedding was called off. Not that it would be. Fiia and Joel were one of those ‘always together” couples. If the wedding was off, it was just postponed for some reason.

“Tyler is here.” 

“Oh.” She shouldn’t have been surprised he was here. He and Joel were friends. They played together for a few years, and Joel had been the one to introduce Tyler to Theo. 

“And…” Fiia trailed off. 

“And?” 

“And I’m really sorry, but you have to share a hut with him.” 

“What? Why?” Her voice came out high pitched and whiney, like a child about to throw a tantrum. Of all the things she’d braced for, this wasn’t one of them.

“There are only twelve huts, you know, and you and Tyler are the only single ones,” she rushed to explain. “Everyone else coming in is in a couple.” 

“I can’t stay in the city?” 

Fiia chewed her lip and glanced at Joel. “Everything is full.”

“Everything?” she repeated, pulling out her phone to check for herself. “I thought I was supposed to be in one of the huts by myself.” 

“You were!” Fiia exclaimed, “that was the plan.” 

“But,” Joel broke in, his soft voice apologetic, “my brother ended up being able to come, and he and his wife needed a room.” 

Now absorbed in her phone, Theo pulled up hotel after hotel, finding no availability again and again. “Why the hell is every hotel room booked in this city?” 

“There’s an ice festival tomorrow,” Joel explained. “It’s a big deal. Everything’s been sold out for weeks. If it weren’t for the tournament, we would have picked a different weekend. Plus, it's prime northern lights season.” 

Theo felt panic constricting her chest. This could not be happening. Why was this happening to her? She was just here to help a friend. 

“I know it’s not great,” Fiia said. 

“Not great?” Theo squeaked in response. “Fi, this is a disaster. What the hell am I supposed to do? You checked every hotel?” 

“Tyler did,” she said hesitantly. 

Somehow, that felt like a low blow. Even though the last thing she wanted to do was share a tiny glass hut with Tyler Seguin, NHL playboy and man responsible for the sizable bruise on Theo’s heart, it hurt to think he didn’t want to share a room with her, either. 

Dropping her head into her hands, Theo pulled in a deep breath and held it, beginning the square breathing technique her therapist had taught her. She couldn’t think straight when panic was swirling in her thoughts like this. 

“I’m really sorry,” Fiia said, “you know we would have put you in your own room if Joel’s brother didn’t come.” 

“I know,” Theo finally managed to say. “I know you wouldn’t do this unless it was an emergency.” 

Fiia got the whole Tyler story when Theo had broken it off. She listened to Theo cry and offered words of comfort in her soothing, lilting voice. Even though she and Joel had moved to Colorado, she was still one of Theo’s best friends. 

The slow breathing was doing its job, and calm started creeping into her thoughts. She was an adult, as was Tyler. And she wasn’t about to tell her friends the groom's brother couldn’t stay for their wedding. She and Tyler wouldn’t kill each other. It’s not like they could damage their relationship any more than it already was.

Tyler wasn’t a lot of things, but at the very least, he was respectful. He wouldn’t touch her or do anything inappropriate. All in all, having Tyler as a roommate (hut-mate?) for the weekend actually wasn’t that bad. It was better than having to share with a stranger. It would just be hard. Really, really hard. 

“Why didn't you tell me sooner?” 

“We just found out,” Joel said. “You know, Ville has been living in Dubai, and we didn’t think his travel visa would get approved.” 

She did know. Joel had mentioned it when they had the initial conversation about this trip. He had been sad and resigned. She could put up with Tyler for a few nights if it would make stoic Joel happy. 

“So…” Fiia began, licking her lips before they relaxed into their natural, full pout. “You’ll stay?” 

Theo’s head shot up, “of course I’ll stay,” she said. “I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world. I wouldn’t miss photographing your wedding for the world. It’s just a bit of a shock.” 

Fiia laughed through the tears constricting her throat. “I’m really sorry.” 

Theo shrugged, “it is what it is. Ty and I’ll figure it out. Worst comes to worst, I'll make him sleep on the floor.” 

Joel snorted a laugh and took the car out of park to start the drive to the resort. 

Theo spent every one of the 20 minutes it took to drive to the resort watching the trees. They were so laden with snow, they drooped over the roadway, looking like strange Seussian creations. If she concentrated on the beauty of this place, she wouldn’t have time to worry about what was going to happen and work herself up with scenarios that might not come to pass. 

Pulling into the resort, Theo felt overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of it all. Everything was covered in a thick blanket of snow. She’d seen snow before, but growing up in Texas meant that snow always felt a bit magical. They stopped next to a large building, and Joel turned off the car. 

She followed Fiia, who insisted on carrying her backpack while Joel carried her suitcase down a long drive that arched around the little city of small, glass-walled huts. Each one was strategically placed,  so the back of the hut (the only part not made of glass) was facing the windows of the one next door, providing privacy when so much could be exposed. 

“You’re in four,” Fiia said, pointing to the hut straight ahead. 

Looking where directed, Theo was surprised to see it was already lit up. Tyler was inside, laying on his back on the bed, one forearm under his head as a pillow, reading a book. His ankles were crossed, making him look long, lean, and completely at ease. 

Joel knocked on the door, and he jumped. 

Theo bit back her smile. 

The door swung out and up slightly, pulling away from the pitched wall, before resting against the panel next to it. 

“Honey, we’re home,” Joel called. The sing-song quality to his voice was interrupted by his accent, but it still had the desired effect as Fiia giggled. 

“Watch your head,” Fiia warned, gesturing for Theo to step up. 

She did, ducking under the doorway. This must be a nightmare for Tyler to navigate. If she had to duck at 5’ 6”, he’d nearly have to bend in half. 

“Hey,” she said. 

Tyler jumped to his feet, whacking his head on the ceiling in the process. “Fuck.” 

This damn hut was too small for someone his size. He barely even fit on the bed.

Theo pursed her lips, trying not to laugh as Tyler rubbed the top of his head. 

Fiia and Joel entered after her, forcing Theo forward until she was nearly chest to chest with Tyler, who was hunched to avoid hitting his head again. With his stooped posture, they were nearly face to face. 

This was how he leaned down when he kissed her, she remembered. 

As if by the sheer magnetic force of her memory, her eyes darted to his mouth. She’d forgotten what a nice mouth he had. How was that possible? She’d always thought it was one of his best features. Sure, he had the tattoos and the abs, but his mouth was nice, and he could do all sorts of nice things with it. 

“Hey,” he said, one corner of his lips tipping up in a smile. 

Her mind flooded with even more memories involving his mouth, and before she knew it, longing sparked to life in the pit of her stomach. 

Then reality snapped back. This was Tyler she was thinking about. Tyler, who, despite insisting he didn’t want to see anyone else, didn’t want to put labels or definitions on their relationship. Tyler, the playboy afraid of commitment, who let her walk away. 

Slamming the door on those memories, she skittered around him to stand at the end of the bed. What was wrong with her? 

“So,” Fiia pulled back a curtain, “this is the bathroom. It’s just a composting toilet, but there are regular toilets and showers up in the main building.” 

Pulling herself out of her self reprimand, Theo forced her mind back to the present. 

“If you wash your hair, make sure to dry it up there, or keep it wrapped up when you walk back. The cold will fuck with it pretty bad.” 

Theo nodded.

“And you have your sauna here,” she gestured to the small, rectangular building next door. “Did you ask for it to be heated, Ty?” 

He nodded, “at 8. Thought it would be nice after dinner.”

Fiia nodded her approval. 

“We have dinner at 6, just up at the restaurant,” she said, gesturing to the main building again. “I’ll walk you through the wedding venues after?” 

“That sounds great,” Theo said. She always liked to scope out the venue before shooting a wedding. That way, she could find the best lighting and the best places where she could blend into the background. 

“So we’ll see you then,” she said with a small, hopeful smile. 

Theo nodded, biting back her dismay at their leaving. Of course they wouldn’t be staying. There wasn’t anywhere to sit other than on the bed or the floor, and if everyone did sit, there wouldn’t be any room to move around. 

She and Tyler watched the light from Joel’s headlamp bounce down the path as he and Fiia made their way back to the main building, hand in hand.

“So,” Theo said, attempting to break the tension that had thickened the moment the door swung shut. 

“I took this half,” Tyler said quickly, gesturing to the half of the bed nearest the door, “but we can switch if you want. I just know you like sleeping next to the window.”

Something in Theo’s heart gave a traitorous little lurch. Why did he have to remember things like that? And tell her he remembered them?

“This half is great,” she said. “Thank you.” 

She gave him the kind of smile that told him he’d done something right. The weight of anticipation eased in Tyler’s chest. 

“Where’s your stuff?” she asked, looking around. Her three bags, even though they all were on the smaller side, seemed to take up all the available floor space. 

“In here,” he said, opening a tall cupboard next to his half of the bed. His slim carryon suitcase was tucked into the bottom half of it - a perfect fit. She never understood how he could pack everything he needed into such a tiny suitcase. Then again, she didn’t travel for a living. 

“There’s some storage on the other side of the bathroom.” 

She glanced over. There were two robes hung outside the bathroom, along with two pairs of plastic sandals and Tyler’s sneakers. 

“The other side,” he said, gesturing. 

Theo walked over and drew back the curtain. The toilet space was tiny. She doubted she’d be able to stand up straight in there. The storage space, which was really more like a slanted leftover space, was on the other side of the toilet. 

“How do you use the bathroom in here?” she asked, reemerging. “Can you even sit on the toilet?” 

“I haven’t tried,” Tyler admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve just been walking up to the main building.” 

A pause passed between them, not entirely awkward. He was thankful for that, at least. 

“So,” he began as he sat on his side of the bed, “how have you been?” 

“Fine,” Theo said. “You?” 

“Fine.” 

The pause that followed was a bit more uncomfortable. He knew there was a lot not being said. At least on his end of things. But he wasn’t entirely certain how to bring up everything he’d been thinking about. 

“Have you seen any northern lights yet?” 

“It’s been too cloudy. Joel said it’s supposed to be clear tomorrow night, though.” 

The smile that lit her face pulled one onto his own. He knew Theo had always wanted to see and photograph the northern lights. They’d talked about it at least six times throughout the course of their fourteen month relationship. He’d wanted to take her, but his schedule meant he could never travel in the winter. Until this year. 

When he wasn’t picked to play in the four nations tournament (thank god, he’d much rather have the break), and Joel announced that he and Fiia were taking advantage of the very same break to have the winter wedding Fiia had always dreamed of, and would like him to be a part of it, he’d booked a ticket right away. Fiia’s family owned this little resort, and he’d always wanted to visit. 

As soon as he’d finalized his plans, a pang of sadness had swooped through him, wishing he could bring Theo. She’d made it pretty clear she was done with him, though. 

And now, here they were, sharing a hut. Under circumstances he wouldn’t have ever guessed. It was incredibly awkward, and then again, not at all. He was comfortable with Theo. He always had been. That’s what made their relationship so easy. He met her at Fiia and Joel’s house and their first conversation was so easy, it was like he’d been looking for her his whole life, only to turn around and realize, oh, there you are. 

He shouldn’t have been surprised she was here. She and Fiia were friends, and Theo was one of the best photographers in Dallas. She somehow made every wedding look unique and always took pictures of the bride and groom that were less like portraits and more like art. It made perfect sense that they would fly Theo up for the wedding. And that they’d stick them together when Joel’s brother's visa came through. 

If he believed in fate, he would have tipped his hat to it. But Tyler Seguin did not believe in fate. He believed in hard work and determination. Grit and focus. It was just dumb luck that they ended up in the same hut together. Nothing more than that. Fate was something people believed in when they didn’t want to work for what they wanted. “It’s just not meant to be,” he’d heard countless people say, even though he knew if they could just get their acts together and put in a little effort, they’d get farther than they expected. 

All the same, dumb luck had it’s advantages. It at least afforded him the opportunity to show Theo how he’d changed - what he’d done to change, and hopefully tell her what he’d been wanting to since she’d left six months before. 

“Do you mind if I unpack?” 

“Hu?” he asked, his thoughts jolting back to the present.

“I’m going to have to move some things around so I can put one of these bags in the storage.” 

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Why did she need his permission to do that? “Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” she said, taking a seat on the floor and pulling her backpack and white roller bag to her. “You can stay if you want. I’m just going to take up a bunch of room, is all.”

He shrugged and sat on the bed. 

He debated cracking his book open again, but dumb luck didn’t give you opportunities like this for nothing. 

“So, who’s got Kirk?” he asked. 

“Nicole’s staying with him.” 

“Oh, that’s why she couldn’t stay with the boys,” he mused. He’d called Nicole when his usual dog sitter told him he was busy two weeks before, and she’d politely told him she was already booked. “I was worried she hated me.” 

“I’m not sure anyone can hate you, Tyler,” she said offhandedly as she moved a pair of thin gloves into her backpack. 

Shocked to silence, he stared at her. How was he supposed to take THAT response?

“How are the boys?”

He swallowed, trying to regain his bearings. “They’re good.” 

“Marshall’s doing okay?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Had to have surgery on his left hip.”

Sensing the hesitation in his tone, Theo looked up. Tyler was looking at his hands. She resisted the urge to touch him in some comforting way. Instead, she looked back into her suitcase and pulled another sweater out. “Did it go okay?” 

“Yeah,” he sighed as if resigned, “he’s still limping, but the vet says that’s normal.” 

“I’m sorry, Ty,” she said. 

The short form of his name made him glance up at her. She was still looking into her suitcase, but something within the hut shifted, feeling more settled and casual. His shoulders relaxed.

“Thanks,” he said. 

Theo took all of her traveling accessories and packed them into her suitcase, swapping them out with clothing. It would only last two days, but it was better than having two carryons in the tiny space, and she wasn’t about to put her camera equipment back there. 

Getting the suitcase over the toilet and into the storage was comical, resulting in Tyler coming over to assist. He managed to get it in but whacked his head on the ceiling as he was extracting himself. 

“I’m sorry,” Theo said, not quite able to bite back her laughter. 

He shook his head, eyes narrowing in a playful glare. 

“Dinner?” she asked, pointing over her shoulder. 

He nodded, and they wandered out into the cold, dark night. 

The restaurant was cozy and round. Everyone sat in pairs, all facing the stove. She and Tyler sat side by side, trying not to touch each other. It was quite the feat considering how small the table was. Everything about this resort screamed romance. There was only room for two in each hut and at each table. It was made for couples. she wondered if they were the only “we used to be a couple” to sit on the shared reindeer fur that covered the bench. 

Dinner was delicious. Cooked right in front of them, on a traditional Finnish stove - open fire under a chimney. They split an order of Beet bruschetta, which Tyler tolerated because he knew Theo loved goat cheese. It would have been better with bread, but there was only so much he could cheat on his diet - even on vacation. He got the salmon, and she got the reindeer, and everyone got dessert. The bites Tyler allowed himself were delicious. Sweet and tart, and incredibly creamy. 

“Do you want to Sauna?” Tyler asked as they slipped their coats on after the meal.

“Hu?” 

He glanced at his watch to verify, “the sauna is warm now if you want to come?” 

“Oh…” she trailed off. Even though a sauna sounded like a lovely way to send off the evening, she already felt stretched too thin. Overly tired from the jet lag and still wrapping her mind around having to not only share a hut with Tyler Seguin, but a bed - a minuscule European double bed, she knew going into a sauna with him when she knew he would be at least half naked was definitely a bad idea. 

Thankfully, she already had an out. “I’m walking through the venues with Fi, and then I think I’ll catch a shower and go to bed. Jet lag is really kicking my ass.” 

“Yeah,” he agreed, not quite able to keep the disappointment from his voice. 

The venue was as beautiful as Theo expected.  Modern and built of light wood, it was a solute to Finnish design. The decor was wintery but not cheesy. It fit Fiia like a glove. No wonder she wanted to get married here. They went through each hall, and Theo made mental notes of where to take test shots the next day.

From the Sauna, Tyler watched Theo come back to the hut, gather her things, and walk back in the direction of the main building. Twenty or so minutes later, she came back, her hair tucked under her hat. 

He could just barely see her shadow through the tan curtains she’d pulled closed over the glass walls. Her silhouette puttered around for a moment, obviously changing into pajamas before she shook out her hair and crawled into bed. 

Relaxing back against the wooden bench, he wondered how long he should stay. He didn't want to stay too long and risk waking her up when he came back into the hut, but didn't want to seem too eager either, as if he'd been waiting for her return to rush inside.

In the end, he poured another cup of water onto the stove and waited for the steam to dissipate before rinsing off in a “traditional Finnish Shower” and heading inside. 

Opening the door to the hut, Tyler expected Theo to say something, ask him how the sauna was. But she was silent.

He'd been bracing to have to tuck himself into the minuscule space by the door in order to change, but when he got inside, he found Theo asleep. It was a small mercy after the shock of the cold. This hut was too small for privacy. She’d seen him naked, and not just in the, I posed for the body issue and everyone has seen me naked, way. He’d born it all to her. Thinking about that called up visions of her lips tracing his tattoos. Goosebumps broke out over his skin at the memory. 

He stripped and dressed as quickly as he could, pausing only once when Theo rolled over. Her face was still serene, eyes closed and lips parted, her dark hair fanned over her pillow. 

The next morning, Theo eased into consciousness, feeling mercifully rested. She hadn’t expected to feel so rested. It was always hard for her to sleep outside of her own bed, but she’d fallen asleep nearly as soon as she’d hit the pillow, and couldn’t remember getting up at all in the night, which was a bit of a feat for her. The jet lag must have really taken its toll. 

Her eyes fluttered open, immediately focusing on the pristine blanket of fresh snow that had fallen overnight, turning the field behind them into a postcard perfect winter wonderland. It looked how she’d always imagined Finland would look. Piles of snow - so much so that the trees were bowed with the weight of it, and strange, purple hued light she’d only seen in pictures. Chrystals of frost were skating over the glass walls of their hut, and the light inside seemed softer than the light outside somehow. 

As she became more conscious of her surroundings, she realized she was leaning against something solid and pleasantly warm. 

In the night, whether searching for warmth, or without her conscious mind to tell her not to, following the instinctual pull she felt to Tyler, they’d come together - back to back in the small bed. 

Easing away from him, she rolled onto her back. 

Without the brace of her body to hold him up, he fell onto his back, his shoulder landing on top of hers. 

“Tyler,” she whined, pushing him away. 

He blinked, the liquid sleep state still humming pleasurably on his skin. Theo had been in his dream - unsurprising considering the circumstances - softly murmuring his name as he’d pressed a string of kisses, like seed pearls, down her neck. 

“Tyler,” Theo said again, shoving him a little harder, “get off me.” 

 Reality crashed into him like a hit he wasn’t braced for. Had he been trying to cuddle her in his sleep? How had he ended up partially on top of her?

“Sorry,” he mumbled, scrambling onto his side of the bed and turning his face away, hoping to hide the blush that had blazed over his cheeks. This damn hut was too small for him, and with Theo there, it felt infinitesimal, as if it had shrunk. He had only one half of the bed that was already too small, and given the opportunity, he’d crowded into her space in his sleep.

“It’s okay,” she said, and he was relieved to hear a slight lilt of humor in her voice.

“Was I crowding you all night?”

“Not until I turned over this morning,” she said, looking at the snow covered roof. This was why the light was so different. As it filtered through the snow, it made everything inside the hut look a little more dreamy. She avoided looking at the man next to her. Seeing his rumpled morning hair and sleepy eyes in soft-focus would not help her one bit.

Relieved, he cleared his throat and tried to lay on his back. He couldn’t do it without his arm pressing against hers. 

“Here,” she said, scooting to the edge of the bed, giving him a little more room. 

They were still dangerously close to touching. 

“How was the sauna?” she asked. 

Tyler found himself smiling at being proven right, even if it was 9 hours later. “Nice. Kinda boring,” he admitted, glancing over at her. She was looking up at the roof, which was completely covered in snow. Her lips were relaxed and kissable, and her soft eyes seemed to reflect the beauty she always sought out. He liked it when she had this artist's face on. The longing he’d felt the night before hooked into his navel and tried to pull him closer to her. He resisted, taking a few deep breaths to bring him back to himself.

Her mouth tipped in a small smile. “Hard to bring a book into a sauna, I guess.” 

A chuff of laughter burst out of him. “Yeah.” 

Holding up one of her hands, Theo turned her palm back and forth, watching it in the soft light.

“Hmm?” Tyler asked, wondering what she was doing.

“The light in here is so interesting,” she said, turning her wrist again. “The snow is making it softer. I didn’t know snow could do that.” 

“We can melt it off the roof,” he offered, reaching up for the button. 

“No!” Her hand shot out to grip his wrist, halting his movement. 

He stopped immediately, feeling heat bloom from where her hand made contact. It was the first time she’d touched him since she arrived, he realized. 

“I mean,” Theo snatched her hand back, “can we leave it for a while?” 

“Sure.” He felt a small measure of satisfaction bloom in his chest at the blush that flushed her cheeks. “Are you still feeling excited even with all this snow?” he asked instead of rolling over and tucking his face into her neck like he would have when they were together.

All at once, everything felt too domestic. Too much like something they would have done six months before: a lazy morning spent side by side, talking about anything and everything. 

Theo sat up abruptly, scooting to the end of the bed so she could get out of it without crawling over him. She wanted to change and run away, and she couldn’t even do that. It was freezing outside, and Tyler was inside, and she had nowhere to hide. Maybe the minuscule bathroom, but that didn’t even offer enough privacy. It was just a curtain. Why did this hut have to be so damned small?

Feeling whiplashed, Tyler watched her stumble over the bags she’d stored at the end of the bed. She halted mid step, like a cornered animal, in the floorspace next between the bed and the ‘kitchen,’ which was little more than a sink with non-potable water and some cabinets.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling his hand from his wrist, where it had subconsciously wandered to cover the skin she’d touched. 

“I just…” Theo was horrified to hear the shake in her voice. Her anxiety was magnifying everything, making it worse. She felt pulled too tight, stretched too thin. Yes, Tyler was respectful and sweet, but he was also Tyler, and he was easy to love and easy to fall in love with. And she couldn’t afford to go down that path again. Her heart just couldn’t take it. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice turned gentle. 

Closing her eyes, Theo willed the tears away. She did not need to cry right now. She wasn’t even sure what she was crying over. Was it losing Tyler? Was it being faced with him again after walking away? Was it facing that decision she’d made and wondering for the millionth time if it had been the right one? Was it the softness in his voice that told her he knew she was panicking? 

Things with Tyler were so easy. They always had been. That was part of the issue. It would have been easy to continue on with him, even though he wasn’t willing to give her what she wanted. If she reset her expectations, they would still be together, still in love, still having great sex, and sharing this hut for an entirely different reason. Even if she had, she knew part of her would still want what she’d left for: to find someone not so afraid of committing to her. 

Remembering that gave her the strength to push the longing away. “I’m just…” this was so stupid. Tyler had seen her naked before. Changing her clothing in front of him should not be this big of a deal. “I need to change, but it’s so cold outside.” 

He could have laughed with relief. He thought he’d done something. “I’ll turn around,” he said, sitting up and turning to look out the window. 

Theo covered her face with her hands. Why did she have to be so weird? Why did she have to make things so complicated? She could have just asked him to turn around. 

Knowing he wouldn’t stay that way forever, she grabbed her backpack and change of clothes, piling the layers awkwardly on the tiny countertop before she changed at record speed. 

Tyler stood to change when she sat at the end of the bed to put on her shoes. Glancing up, she realized the glass windows were more of a mirror than she thought. She could see his form clearly - his beautiful body flexing and stretching as he pulled on a pair of long johns then stepped into some jeans. Had he been able to see this same ghostly reflection of her? An embarrassed blush flashed into her cheeks. She’d thrown such a fit about him not seeing her change, and he’d been able to see her all along? Nice one, Theo, she thought.

After pulling on a sweater, he hadn’t had to wear this many layers in ages, Tyler stood as straight as he could and asked, “ready?” 

“For what?” she asked, realizing she hadn’t run away like she meant to. Instead, she’d ogled him while he was getting dressed.

“Breakfast?” he said uncertainly, “I thought that’s what you were changing for.” He was hungry, at least. 

“Oh,” she said, “yeah.” It’s not like she had anything else to do. 

Breakfast was back in the restaurant, and she and Tyler were back to sitting stiffly side by side. It didn’t matter that they woke up leaning on each other. At least, that’s what Theo told herself. His soft voice at her panic this morning didn’t change a thing, and neither did his interest in what she was doing. 

“What do you have to do today?” he asked, voice low and quiet in her ear. 

An involuntary shiver snaked up her spine as a memory of his lips on her ear, whispering something entirely different, flashed through her mind. 

“What?” 

“What do you have to do today?” Tyler repeated, wondering what was going on with her. He’d never seen her this jumpy. Even when she ran out of her meds, she’d never been this startled all the time. He didn’t want to think it was him. Or maybe he did. If he made her this jumpy, it had to be a good thing, right?

Pulling a small zip-top bag out of her pocket, Theo emptied the pills it housed into her palm before throwing them in her mouth to swallow with a gulp of water. Moving on to her coffee, she tried to make her brain think clearly. She wasn’t sure she’d taken her meds yesterday. When was yesterday in Dallas time? She had no idea anymore. By the state of her mind, she’d obviously missed something. 

It took a moment for her to remember that Ty had asked her a question. “I need to take some test shots in the venue,” she said. “And I have some editing from some bridal shots I took on Wednesday.” 

“Aren’t you on vacation?” 

“Yes?” she said it like it was a question, as if she wasn’t exactly sure what a vacation was. 

He laughed, “you should at least take a break to walk around the resort. It’s beautiful.”

A flirtatious response about him giving her a tour slid to the tip of her tongue. She shoved a bite of eggs into her mouth to stop it coming out. 

Tyler shook his head indulgently. He knew Theo’s working style - she got in edits whenever she could. It was actually one of the things he liked most about her. She didn’t leave anything to chance. 

“Tell you what,” she said once she’d swallowed. 

“Hmm?” he asked through a sip of coffee. 

She ignored the domestic, sweet way he was looking at her over the rim of his mug. If she pretended it didn’t exist, her stomach wouldn’t have the chance to do that flip-floppy giddy thing it always liked to do when he was around. 

“If you help me with my test shots, I’ll go on a walk with you before I work on my edits.” 

“Deal,” he said, smiling, glad she had worked out his subtext of wanting to spend more time with her but not get in her way. 

And just like that, some of the awkwardness between them dissipated a little more. 

As they walked through the venue, Tyler pulled faces in every one of her test shots. She hadn’t laughed so much behind the camera in a long time. 

The resort was even more beautiful than she’d expected. It looked strangely at home in the woods, like a little glass city just happened to sprout up in a forest clearing. 

As they made it back to the hut, he asked her to share the photos she took on their walk, and she promised she would. 

He pulled out his suitcase so he could retrieve his toiletries and a change of clothes before he told her, “I’ll leave you to it. See you at dinner?” 

She nodded, pulling out her computer. Emptying her memory card into a new file didn’t take long, but she found herself spending too much time looking over the test shots. Realizing what she was doing, she deleted them, sent the photos of their walk to Ty, and pulled up her latest bridal edits. 

Dinner that evening was a little less stiff than their meals before. She didn’t jump when their elbows brushed at least. It felt like a move in the right direction. 

“I think the lights are supposed to be out tonight,” Tyler said as they zipped their coats and walked out into the cold night. 

“Yeah?” 

“I think I might catch a nap so I can stay up to see them.” 

She smiled, “that sounds nice. Maybe I will, too.” 

He knew she was lying - she never napped - and wasn’t surprised when he fell asleep to the gentle sound of her computer mouse clicking. 

By the time he woke, the night was so dark, it felt like it was three in the morning, not ten at night. 

“Have you seen anything?” he asked, voice husky with sleep. 

Theo shook her head, “I haven’t checked.” 

When she felt her fingers start to itch to run through his thick, dark hair, she’d moved to sit on the floor, using the bed as a back rest  Best to just remove herself from that situation completely. 

He sat up, ran a hand through his hair, and decided he aught to go check. 

Stepping into his boots, he glanced at Theo’s computer screen. 

She had a photo of a beautiful, black bride pulled up on the screen and was doing some kind of editing wizardry he would have no idea where to start to understand. “That’s pretty,” he said. 

“Isn’t she gorgeous?” Theo asked. “She was one of my easiest brides to photograph. It was impossible to make her look bad.”

Lacing up his snow boots, he laughed. “I’ll let you know if I find anything.” 

She nodded distractedly. 

He was half way to the main hotel when he saw something in the sky. It didn’t look like photos of the Northern lights he’d seen, but he’d heard they only showed up like that on camera. Something about light frequencies the human eye couldn’t see. 

Slipping his phone out of his pocket, he took a picture. What came out made his heart jump into his throat. 

“Theo!” he found himself yelling, nearly slipping in his haste to get back to the hut. 

He could see her clearly - sitting on the floor, her computer in her lap. She had her concentration face on, eyes roving over the screen, tongue poking between her lips, as if she stopped in the middle of licking them, too caught on whatever pulled her focus to finish the movement.

God, she was pretty. He loved seeing her doing what she loved like this. 

But she obviously hadn’t heard him. 

Wrenching the door to the hut open, he stuck his head inside, “Theo!” 

A small shriek escaped her mouth as she grabbed her computer, saving it from crashing off her lap. “Jesus, Tyler. What?” 

He was trying not to laugh. It was one of her favorite expressions. He looked like a little kid, caught doing something he shouldn’t, but didn’t regret it at all. 

“Get your camera,” he said breathlessly, holding up his phone so she could see the ribbon of bright green light he’d managed to capture.

It was like watching someone get ready to fight a fire. She slammed her laptop closed and tossed it on the bed before diving for her equipment case. Watching her assemble the camera was like watching one of those super nerdy kids solve a Rubik’s Cube. He had no desire to learn how to do it, but the speed at which they did it was impressive.

“Coat!” he reminded, when she stood and ran for her boots. “And a hat. It’s fucking freezing out here!” 

Her laughter was unbridled — spontaneous and full of happiness. 

He caught her when she almost tripped stepping out of the hut.

As soon as she was on solid ground, her camera was up to her eye. 

“Oh my god!” she cried, looking at the preview, “this is incredible!” 

After a few minutes, she retreated back into the hut to find her newly acquired snow pants. Even with the thermals she had on underneath, jeans weren’t going to cut it. She grabbed her tripod and her phone, her mind whirring with ideas. 

She called Fiia twice to break through the do not disturb, not caring if she was asleep or if she and Joel were getting it on. They needed to come out here. 

“Haloo?” she asked. 

“Fiia!” she practically screamed, “the lights are out!” 

“Are they?” 

“Yes! I know you’re gonna think I’m crazy, but I think it would be really, really amazing to get some bridal shots under this. It’s incredible, Fi!” 

“Mitä?” 

“Bridals! How many people get their wedding pictures taken under the northern lights?” 

“I don’t…” 

Theo heard Joel on the other end of the call, and then Fiia told him something in rapid Finnish. 

“The wedding is tomorrow, Theo,” she said into the phone. 

“Not until noon! I’ll only have you out here for an hour, tops. Please, Fi?” 

Another sigh and some more Finnish. 

“I just did a test shot with Ty, and it turned out so good. Please? Please? Pretty please?” 

Apparently she’d been turned on speaker because Joel’s voice came through the speaker. “Let me get this straight. You want us to put on our wedding things to traipse around in the snow in the freezing cold for pictures?”

“Yes. For your wedding pictures. You only get married once,” she reminded. “Here, I’ll send you the shot of Ty.” 

She fumbled to get the memory card from her camera so she could load the picture onto her computer and send it. She was so excited, her fingers were shaking. 

“Oh,” Fiia said, her voice gone dreamy over the line. 

Theo knew she had her. “They’ll be amazing, Fi. Ty has this app that predicts the flairs. They’re supposed to go all night.”

Fiia and Joel went back and forth in Finnish for a minute before Joel heaved a deep sigh, “We’ll get dressed. So much for getting a good nights rest,” he grumbled, walking away from the phone. 

“You won’t regret this, Fi, I promise.” 

“Are they coming?” Tyler asked, ducking back into the hut.

“Yes!” she practically squealed. 

He laughed, thrilled to see her so excited. 

“Here, send this to your mom,” Theo said, sending the picture she’d taken to him. “She’ll like it.” 

Something behind his sternum cracked. Theo used to say things like this all the time, and he hadn’t realized how much he missed them. She was always looking out for others, taking photos of things she thought they’d like, and sending them, often with a text like, this made me think of you. His mom told him she knew they’d broken up when Theo stopped sending her pictures. 

He pulled the photo up on his phone so he could forward it on to his mom and stopped short. Tyler had posed for enough pictures to know a good one when he saw it. It was one of the best pictures of himself he’d ever seen, and he hadn’t even known she was taking it. 

He sent it to his mom with the note, from Theo, hoping she wouldn’t read too much into it. 

“I’m going to set up a time lapse,” Theo said, pulling another camera and small tripod out of her equipment case. 

“Do you need help?” he asked. 

“Nah, I’m just going to set it on the floor over here.” She lay across the bed, on her stomach, reaching down to position the camera. She took a few test shots before deciding on the location and settings and hitting record. 

“It’s amazing over here, too,” she breathed before pushing herself back up on the bed. “This is so amazing!” she exclaimed, flopping onto her back. Unable to stop herself, she kicked her feet a few times, her excitement too much to contain.

Tyler laughed, delighted at her joy.

“Can I help?” Tyler asked thirty minutes later as they watched Fiia and Joel walk down the path. He was in a suit, with a giant coat over the top, his pants tucked into snow boots, and she was holding her voluminous white dress up so it wouldn’t drag in the snow, revealing a set of full snow pants and boots underneath. 

“Yeah, actually. If you wouldn’t mind. It’d be nice if you could hold their coats while I’m taking pictures.” 

He didn’t even want to think about what they were committing to. It was well below freezing. 

Theo came out and hugged Fiia, then Joel. “Thank you for doing this. I know it’s crazy.” 

Joel smirked and muttered something in Finnish. Fiia smacked his arm. 

“Okay,” Theo said, taking  command of the situation like Tyler had seen her do so many times before. “Let’s take some test shots to find out best placement, then we can start on posing.” 

She directed them around the snow for a minute before settling on the backdrop of the open field behind their hut. A row of pine trees edged the property, creating a jagged skyline for the lights to dance above.

Once she’d set it up and got the results she wanted, she started going through posing, instructing them how to stand and if they should look at the camera or at each other. 

“Okay, Ty,” she said, taking a bracing breath, “take their coats.” 

Joel shook his head, looking at Fiia as he mumbled, “you owe me for this.” 

“I know,” Fiia agreed, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Tyler backed out of the frame, and Theo immediately began directing - barking assertive orders. It was too cold to be nice. She took shot after shot, certain this night was made of magic. Even Fiia’s dress, which Theo had seen when they took formal bridals a month before, looked even more etherial and enchanting, turning her into an angel, a snow fairy, a princess finding her prince. 

A giddy feeling rose in Theo’s chest until it felt full to bursting. These would be the most amazing wedding photos she’d ever taken. 

“Okay, coats back on,” she called, and Tyler rushed forward. He felt a bit like a PA, thrusting Joels coat at him and helping Fiia into hers. It was the first time he’d been at a photo shoot when he wasn’t posing. It was a bit of a surreal experience to see the work from the other side. 

“I want to try one more thing.” 

Joel looked like he might murder her. 

“It’ll be really quick for you, I promise.” 

He grumbled something under his breath. 

Fiia just stood there, shivering and hoping this would be worth it. Her hands were so cold, she was about ready to stick them in her mouth. She settled for shoving them in her coat pockets. 

“I’m going to take a really long exposure, and I want you to come into the shot part way and stand there kissing for a bit before walking out. If it works the way I think it should, we should get a sort of silhouette of the two of you.” 

“Won’t you see us walking?” Fiia asked? 

“No, the exposure is so long, it should only pick you up when you’re standing still for a while.”

“How long are we talking?” 

“You’ll be kissing for about a minute.”

“We can’t kiss for that long,” Joel said. 

Theo raised an eyebrow. “I’m pretty certain I saw you kiss for longer than that last night.”

The cold was making him impatient. His ears felt like they might just fall off. “We’ll get stuck together,” he said. “Like that dumb movie with the metal pole.” 

“The metal pole?”

“He means A Christmas Story,” Tyler supplied.

“Yes,” Joel agreed, pointing emphatically at him. 

“Oh,” Theo bit her lip. That hadn’t even crossed her mind. “What if you almost kiss?” 

“What?” Fiia and Joel asked together. 

“Like,” she glanced around and then realized she’d have to demonstrate. She wasn’t about to do it with Joel, which left only one option, “Ty, come here.” 

He dutifully came to her side. 

Leaning down, when one of her hands slid around the back of his neck, Tyler felt his heart begin to race. Was this really about to happen? 

Angling her face up to his, she stopped just short so her breath whispered over his mouth. Tyler felt like his skin might just catch fire. A tingling sensation rose goosebumps on his skin, even under all the layers. 

Being this close to Tyler, feeling his breath on her face, smelling his cologne, knowing what a kiss from him felt like, a thousand feelings ignited, rushing through her body. 

When they were this close, Theo couldn’t see his features distinctly, but she knew from the set of his brow and the slight hitch in his breath that he was excited, which surprised her. He’d kissed hundreds, maybe thousands of women. Shouldn’t he be used to this by now? 

Suddenly, kissing him felt inevitable - like a word just on the tip of her tongue. She had to say it, or it’d eat her alive. 

Someone cleared their throat, and they snapped back to reality, pushing away from each other with so much force, both of them stumbled. 

“Like that,” Theo said, trying to force her mind back to the task at hand. 

“So we just walk back here, act like we’re denying our feelings and then walk out?” 

Everyones eyes snapped to Joel. 

Fiia swatted his arm. 

“What?” he asked, rubbing where she’d hit him. 

She rolled her eyes, hiked up her dress and walked out of frame. 

Tyler glanced at Theo, only to find her doing the same with him. It felt like he was back in middle school as he averted his eyes. What had just happened there? He felt seconds from kissing her, seconds from telling her he was sorry and seconds from professing his love. He didn’t do things like that. What was wrong with him? 

Theo turned back to her camera, changing the exposure settings. If nothing else, she’d get a beautiful shot of the lights. 

“Okay, we’ve got one shot at this, so when I say go, walk in, almost kiss, and then when I say to, walk out.” 

Both Fiia and Joel nodded. 

She started the exposure. 

“Okay, coats off,” both pieces of clothing hit the snow, “and go.” 

To Fiia, it felt a tiny bit like how she imagined walking down the aisle would, except Joel was walking toward her, too. Even the cold felt magic - drawing them together for warmth of so many kinds. 

Joel had kissed Fiia hundreds of times, and he still felt his body tightening in anticipation as he hovered a breath away from her. This must have been torture for Tyler, especially as he didn’t have any warning of what was coming. He knew Tyler still loved Theo. He got this nostalgic puppy-dog longing look in his eyes anytime Joel saw them together.

“And, out,” Theo instructed. 

Pulling back reluctantly, Fiia broke from Joel’s grasp to back away. She’d never felt anything like that before - she’d never felt such intense anticipation. Whatever cold toes (because she didn’t have cold feet, just a few minor am I really about to do this? anxieties) she’d had were thawed by the time she got back to her coat. 

As soon as the shutter of her camera clicked shut, Theo unclipped it from the tripod, anxious to see how the shot had turned out. 

“Yes!” she yelled when the preview pulled up, thrusting her fist into the air as if she were brandishing a victorious sword. “Oh my god.” 

Everyone gathered around her, Tyler behind, with Joel and Fiia on either side. She felt Tyler’s hands, their weight familiar, come to rest on her shoulders. 

Tyler felt awe swell up in his chest like a balloon when she tipped the camera so they could all see. Even on the tiny preview screen, the picture was perfect. The northern lights, glowing bright green with just a touch red, were snaking over the sky, while Joel and Fiia kissed in the foreground. They were slightly blurred around the edges, as if they were made of something magical. 

“You’re incredible,” Fiia squealed, throwing her arms around Theo, causing her to nearly drop the camera. 

Tyler reached forward to steady it. 

“That’s really amazing, Theo,” Joel admitted. 

“Maybe a little worth freezing your ass off for?” she asked with a small smile. 

He laughed, “maybe. We’ll see how the rest turn out.” 

Theo snorted. “Okay, go get inside, you two,” she said, waving them off, “you’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Theo,” Fiia said, leaning in to plant a kiss on her cheek before Joel helped her gather her dress, and they traipsed back to the main hotel. 

Without being asked, Tyler helped her gather her equipment, and they went back into the hut. 

“Oh my god,” Theo said, flopping onto the bed. “I’m so glad that worked.”

“How did you know it would?” he asked as he unscrewed the soft box from its base. 

“I’ve been dreaming of that picture since I was, like, fifteen.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I had the idea for it the first time I did night sky photography.” 

“It was really amazing.”

Now that they were back in the warmth of the hut and her adrenaline was wearing off, she admitted, “Fuck, it’s cold.” 

“The sauna’s hot if you wanna go in,” he offered, hoping he didn’t sound like he was trying to be too casual. 

“It is?” 

“Yeah. When you called Joel and Fi, I asked the staff to heat it so we could go in after we were done.”

“Oh,” she breathed. The forethought in that statement awoke something in Theo she hadn’t let herself feel since she broke things off with Tyler. If he didn’t do all these little things that made her feel so cared for, it would have made walking away from him much, much easier. 

“We don’t have to,” he quickly amended. Maybe that felt too intimate to her. 

“No,” she shook her head, “I’d like to. It’s just…that was really nice, Ty.” He hadn’t needed to help her with her crazy photoshoot ideas, and he’d stayed there the whole time, doing whatever she asked. And he definitely didn’t need to ask someone to heat their sauna so they could thaw after being in the cold for so long.

He shrugged. It seemed like the right thing to do to him, that was all. It wasn’t like he wasn’t benefitting from it. 

She had to fish her suitcase from the little storage space to get her swimming suit. Sure, it was traditional to go nude in a Sauna, but one, they were in public, and two, she wasn’t sure she was quite ready to bear all to Tyler again. 

He laughed when he found Theo folded over the toilet, slowly backing up as she eased the suitcase out. “Do you need some help?”

“Nope,” she grunted, finally getting it through the oblong triangular opening and standing up. “Got it.” 

Turning, she found Tyler watching her with a bemused expression on his face, wearing nothing but a pair of dark green swim trunks. 

The sudden exposure of so much of his skin made her heart flutter in her chest. Seeing him directly, rather than through the ghost reflection in the window that morning, she could see he’d had his tattoos worked on. He must have had some shading and touching up done over the summer. 

Reaching past her, he plucked one of the robes off the hook behind her. “I’ll meet you out there, okay?” 

She nodded, not quite able to form words. 

The door smacked shut after he left, and she stood watching it for a second before she came to her senses and stripped down to change. 

“It’s kind of insane,” Theo began when she opened the Sauna door, welcoming the hot, humid air that rushed out at her, “that I just put on a bathing suit when I’m freezing cold.” 

“Just get in and shut the door. You’ll thaw right out.” 

Laughing, she kicked off the resort-provided non-crocs, stepped inside, and shut the door behind her, twisting the little surfboard shaped piece of wood to latch it. The wood under her feet was smooth and dry. It felt grounding in a way she’d never felt before.  

Tyler didn’t try to hide his stare as she slid the robe off her shoulders and turned to hang it up on the hook next to his. 

“What?” Theo asked when she turned back and found him staring at her. 

A little, secret smile spread over his face, and he laughed, shaking his head a little. “Nothing,” he lied, not quite ready to tell her how beautiful she was in her purple swimsuit. The color brought out the caramel highlights in her hair, and the golden flecks in her eyes, not to mention how the bits that criss-crossed in the front accentuated her figure. 

Her hands went to her hips, and then jumped away. They were still freezing. 

“Here, come up here,” he said, patting the spot on the bench next to him. “It’s warmest up here.” 

He felt a little breathless watching her climb up the short flight of stairs to take her spot next to him. 

“Thank you for doing this,” she said, sitting a good two feet away from him. 

He wanted to reach over and pull her closer but resisted. They weren’t together. She’d made that very clear. A few months ago, she wouldn’t have hesitated to change in front of him — he’d seen all of her. He knew why, but it still hurt, especially after that almost-kiss which only served to cement how he was feeling. He thought he knew her well enough to know that she felt that spark between them reignite, too, but he must have been mistaken. 

“Figured it would be nice,” he said, one shoulder shrugging up. 

“It is,” she said, pressing her palms into the smooth wooden bench, willing them to absorb some warmth. The heat was starting to needle at her skin - pricking in a way that felt oddly satisfying. It was almost as if each of her nerves were unthawing and popping back into alignment. 

“I’m glad Kivi and Fi came out.” 

“Me too,” she agreed, leaning forward a bit to look at the stove. A bright fire was dancing merrily behind the glass. “I’ll need to do a bit of editing, I’m sure, but I think they’re going to be pretty incredible.” 

“My mom loved the one you sent, by the way. She said to say thanks.” 

Theo smiled, “I’m glad.” 

Words he wasn’t quite ready to say pushed into Tylers mouth. He forced them back down and cleared his throat. 

“So…” 

“How’ve you been?” he asked. 

Toying with the idea of being completely honest, Theo thought about what to say. She wanted to say she was lonely and that being here with him was refreshing and nice, like a piece of her life clicked back into place, but she held her tongue. She wasn’t quite ready to reopen that box.

“Good,” she said instead. “Really excited I finally got to photograph the northern lights.” That felt like safe, neutral territory. 

“I’m excited for you,” he said, even though he was getting sick of dancing around their relationship. It was a giant elephant sitting between them that just needed to be addressed. 

“How have you been?” she asked, finally looking over at him. 

Well, he supposed, now was his chance to be honest. You don’t wish for it and then squander the opportunity when it comes calling, “pretty shitty to be honest.”

Theo was a little taken aback at his honesty. “Yeah?” 

Was she really going to make him come out and say it? He supposed he deserved that. “Yeah. I miss you.” 

Something inside her broke. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to admit, “I miss you, too.” 

Even though she couldn’t see his face, she could hear a smile in his voice as he said, “yeah?” 

“Yeah. It’s been torture to be here with you,” she admitted. “I look at you, and…” she trailed off, venturing to look into his face. Heat that had nothing to do with the sauna flashed through her as his tongue darted over his lips. 

“And?” he prodded. 

“It’s just easy to remember…” she said, eyes locking on his. The lust that had been bubbling under the surface since that almost-kiss roared to a full boil, threatening to spill over. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he admitted, scooting closer. Praise be to everything holy, he thought when she didn’t back away. “I want to try again.”

In a replay of just an hour before, his hand slipped to the back of her neck, and he brought his mouth dangerously close to hers. 

In a rush of reckless want, she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his. The walls she put up around her heart trembled, threatening to collapse all together.  

His other hand, dry and warm, slipped onto her waist as his tongue slipped past her lips.

It was like no time had passed. Kissing Theo had always been one of his favorite things to do. And God, the taste of her. He’d missed it so much. 

Theo slid her hands into his hair, trying to bring him closer. He answered her call, intensifying the kiss and falling into her even more. 

Feeling like she was slowly melting to liquid, Theo lay back, aching to feel Tylers weight on top of her again. He followed willingly, hips finding a comfortable, familiar home against hers. His whole body was hard and hot - just like she remembered. 

His mouth broke from hers and dipped to her neck. 

She’d missed this, too: the nice things he could do with his mouth and the gentle rasp of his beard over her skin. 

“Ty,” she moaned. 

“I love the way you say my name,” he moaned into her neck, “I’ve missed it so much.” 

“Ty,” she repeated, fire licking into her veins at his admission. As if on muscle memory alone, one of her legs wrapped around his waist. “Oh my god.” 

“I can’t wait to be inside you again,” he moaned, trying to soak up the heat that was blooming between them. He’d been with women after they broke up. He’d called old hookups and found women on Raya, but it was never the same. He felt like he was chasing perfection, only to find he really only wanted the one that got away.

Apparently, her desire was taking control of her mouth, too, “no one makes me feel like you do, Ty.” 

A ridiculous feeling of pride exploded in him. Bringing his mouth to her ear, he asked, “do you want me to make you come?” 

“Yes!” she gasped. 

“How many times?” 

“I —” This was another nice thing he could do with his mouth. How had she forgotten the way he could work her up with just a few words growled in her ear.

“How many times, Theo?” he asked, grinding his hips into hers. Relishing her gasp.

“I don’t —” she panted, mind racing. How was she supposed to answer that? “As many times as you want.” She knew he wanted a number, but she honestly wasn’t sure her body ever would let her let go of this now that he was back.

He let out a satisfied hum, and one of his hands snaked down to the waist of her bikini bottoms, toying with the band and making her entire body tremble. 

The fire popped, and she suddenly remembered where they were. Forcing herself to pull away from the Tyler Seguin slow kiss special, she gasped, “we can’t have sex in the sauna.”

“Why not?” he asked, mouth now traveling down the exposed skin of her chest. 

“Ty, it’s not right.” 

“Then come inside with me,” he said.

She nodded, and he pushed himself up. 

As soon as she was on her feet, he had her hand in his, unwilling to let this moment go. 

They couldn’t get into the hut fast enough. They didn’t even grab their robes or shoes - they just made the mad dash between the buildings, too high on the thought of finally being together again to stop. 

She giggled, and he swore as he hit his head, trying to scramble into the hut as quickly as possible. The door slammed shut behind them. 

Tackling her into the bed, Tyler waisted no time covering her body with his own, resuming the rocking of his hips to build the heat back up again. 

Her hands explored the hard muscles of his chest and around to his toned back as one of his slipped down her body again. 

Bypassing teasing all together, his fingers slipped under the purple fabric. 

Her hips jumped when he made contact with her slick folds. 

As he eased his finger into her, a small noise escaped her throat. Tyler glanced into her face and immediately stopped everything he was doing. 

Her eyes were screwed shut, and she was pulling in slow, shaky breaths, as if trying to calm herself down. 

Easing out, he wiped his fingers on his shorts as he moved to lay beside her. “Hey,” he said, running a hand up her arm. 

She pulled in another shaky breath, eyes still shut tight. 

“Theo?”

She managed to make a noise that sounded at least something like, “hmm?” 

“Are you panicking? Do you need your medication?” 

She shook her head, pulling in another quaking breath like she was trying to suppress tears. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I thought I could…” she found the words spilling out of her mouth, even as embarrassment flushed into her cheeks. She’d started this whole thing. “But I — I need to know.”

“You need to know what?” he urged gently as his hand came to rest comfortably on the back of her arm. 

Her eyes fluttered open to find him watching her, concern all over his face and in his big brown eyes. 

She just had to get it over with. “Is this just fucking?” 

The breath stalled in Tylers chest. 

“Or do you want more than that? Do you really want to try again? I’m not sure I can do this if it’s just fucking.”

He thought he’d made himself clear in the sauna. Maybe what he’d thought hadn’t come out right. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

Looking at her now, even full of worry and uncertainty, he wanted her. Not just physically. He wanted to take care of her and let her take care of him. He wanted to keep her safe. He wanted to be with her all the time, even if they were just sitting on the couch, watching some old movie she’d found on some list of films ‘everyone should watch.’ 

He made his mouth start talking, hoping he didn’t sound like a dick, “I meant it, Theo.”

Her eyes, which had wandered to look through the glass ceiling, snapped back to his. 

“I want to try again. I know it’s stupid and cliche that you realize what you’ve got when it’s gone. I knew some of what I had while you were still here, but I was so scared to fuck something up, or what if I got bored or something…” 

To her credit, she stayed quiet, just watching as he thought through his words. 

“And when you left —” he had to pause as his voice choked in his throat. “After you left...” He tried again, “I’ve never been so bored in my life,” he admitted with a little self deprecating laugh. “I regretted it the day after we broke up, but I didn’t want to call you up until I had everything figured out.”

A breath of a laugh escaped through Theo’s nose. Typical Tyler, wanting to have everything in a neat little row before he could move forward. “And how did that go for you?” She didn’t mean them to, but the words came out of her mouth sarcastic and insincere. 

Thankfully, he laughed and gave her a self deprecating smile. “Not great,” he admitted. 

“I started seeing a therapist,” he added on quietly. 

“Really?” Theo asked, pulling back in surprise. 

“I told you, I wanted to make sure I had everything figured out. And trying to figure it out on my own wasn’t doing jack shit, so I figured I might as well give it a try.”

“And?” 

He shrugged, but she could tell he was trying to feign nonchalance, “it’s fine. We’ve talked a lot about my parents' divorce.”

She figured they would have to. It was one of the things he brought up as an argument to her. “I don’t want my kids to go through what I did,” he’d told her as they discussed their future. “I don’t know how to be certain.” 

“Yeah?” she said now as the lust that had been dancing between them slipped away completely.  

He nodded, and acknowledging this was going to be a much needed discussion, he pushed himself off of her, moving to sit up against the headboard. She joined him, pulling her comforter over her legs as she did so. 

In a beleaguered expression, Tyler dragged a hand down his face, “It affected me even more than I thought. I didn’t know…I mean marriage is so huge, you know, and I just felt like I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to make that step, like why do it if it was just going to fail? Or how do you know that someone is the right one?” 

She made a humming noise and nodded. “It is a big decision.” 

“And it felt a little like you were trying to get me to marry you right then.” 

“Oh,” Theo said, glancing down at her interlaced fingers before looking into his face. “I didn’t mean…I mean, I’d love to marry you, Tyler.” 

A small part of him rejoiced when she didn’t use the past tense. 

“But I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to marry me right away. I just wanted to know if it was even a possibility.” 

“It is.” 

His simple statement hung between them, achingly certain. Their eyes met, and Theo felt something shift in her. There was something tender and earnest in his expression. Something she’d never seen before.

“It is?” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper. 

He nodded, reaching for her hand, “with you it is.”

“You’re sure?” 

“Of all the women I’ve ever dated, you’re the only one I could picture myself married to,” he said, not allowing himself to break eye contact. “You’re the only one that it’s worked with like that.”

Maybe it was muscle memory, or maybe it was lust. Likely, it was just because she wanted to feel closer to him, but she found herself crawling into his lap, knees bracketing his hips.

“I feel like that, too, Ty. It’s always been easy with you.” That was a bit of a lie. It hadn’t always been easy - they argued and had to get used to each other just like any other couple, but they communicated well, and it felt easier to express her needs with him than it had been with any of her past partners. Likely because he listened and acted on what he heard far more than any of her previous partners. 

“Yeah,” he agreed as a lazy smile hitched onto his face, one corner tipping up more than the other.

Unwilling to wait any longer, Theo leaned in, brushing her lips over his. 

Tyler hummed, and tipped his head back to capture her mouth. 

“I missed you so much,” she murmured as she brought her mouth to the soft part of his jaw, right under his ear. 

“God, you have no idea how much I missed you,” he said, head tipping to give her more room. 

“So,” she said, pulling away and sitting on his thighs, “about those orgasms.”

Laughter burst from his mouth, “I’ll give you as many as you want,” he said and, with a smile still on his lips, leaned in to kiss her. 

The next morning, Theo was jolted awake by someone knocking on the glass outside their hut. 

“Oof!” Tyler groaned as she elbowed him in the stomach in her haste to figure out what was going on. 

Fiia was standing on the other side of the window next to her, making kissy faces. 

With a jolt, Theo realized she was sitting up in bed with no top on. She scrambled for the bedspread, yanking it out from under Tyler in her haste to cover herself. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes. 

“Fiia’s a little imp. That’s what’s going on,” Thea said, glaring at the woman in question, who was now cackling. 

“I knew it!” Though she was yelling, her voice came into the hut as if she was a great way off. “I knew you guys were getting together last night!” 

Joel appeared at the front of the hut, traipsing through the snow to get to Fiia’s side. 

Why hadn’t they shut the blinds? 

Rifling through her memories of last night, she supposed there was never really a time they could have. By the time Tyler had given her as many orgasms as she could handle, making use of every inch of the tiny European double bed and he’d come on and inside her, they were both so exhausted, they fell asleep almost at once, tangled together. 

“Look, look, look!” Fiia was yelling, gleefully pointing into the hut. “I told you so!”  

Joel seemed to grumble something, reached into his back pocket, and pulled his wallet out. 

“You made a bet?” Theo demanded, watching him hand Fiia a euro note. 

“What’s going on?” Tyler repeated, a little louder, sitting up. 

“They made a bet we would get together,” Theo said, incredulous as she pointed at Fiia, who was now preening and kissing the 100 note. “Well, I guess Fiia bet we would get together. Apparently, Joel didn’t think so.” 

Fiia shoved it in her pocket, raced around to the door, and threw it open. Apparently, in their haste to be together, they’d forgotten to lock it. 

“I knew it!” she yelled, voice now loud and clear. 

Theo winced. 

Tyler threw the blanket over his lap as Fiia strode into the hut. 

“I knew it! I knew you couldn’t go through that almost kiss and not get together!” 

“Alright, alright,” Theo said, holding up one hand in surrender. The other kept the blanket pressed to her chest. 

“What do you want, Fiia?” Tyler asked, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice. 

“You’re going to miss breakfast,” she said. “And then you,” she pointed at him, “are needed in the Grooms suite.” 

The wedding. In the unbelievable, lust-filled haze of last night, he’d completely forgotten about the wedding. 

“Fiia, come on,” Joel said quietly, still standing outside, “they just woke up.” 

“Alright, alright,” she said, throwing her hands in the air and smacking one of the ceiling beams. “Ow!” 

‘Fiia,” Tyler said, warning. 

“I’m going. You have fifteen minutes before you’ll miss breakfast!” she said as she walked back outside. When she turned to shut the door, she looked at Theo and said, “you have to tell me everything.” 

Theo felt herself grow hot, and with another cackling laugh, Fiia let the door close. 

Tyler fell back on the bed with a groan, and before she could get up, he pulled Theo down next to him.

“Good morning,” he said, nuzzling her. 

“Good morning,” she echoed, turning to bring their lips together.

His tongue slipped into her mouth with practiced ease as he eased her onto her back. 

Breakfast could wait. 

[xavantina]

I am so very bad at actually doing these things, but I was tagged by the lovely and talented @gavotteangel, so I finally got off my butt and went to town.

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? A measly 31. But in my defense, I’m ancient, so I have posted at least twice as many on LiveJournal back in the day.

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 162,236  

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Six are represented on AO3, including a mix of various RPF fandoms, Hannibal, Law and Order: SVU, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and recently Loki. But back in my teenage years I wrote fic in the Lord of the Rings fandom, Harry Potter, and as I got older even more diverse RPF, mostly centered around US political media and, uh... Top Gear. Look, I have a past, okay, leave me alone.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Assemble, a lighthearted, non-graphic-but-still-very-shippy Marvel RPF

As Loud as the Hell You Want, smutty Will Graham/Frederick Chilton

The Ties That Bind, a Barisi soulmate AU

Arrest Me - another Barisi fic, this one smutty

Young Police Cadet Bottoms for Busty Blonde - a Carisi/Amaro (and Carisi/OFC) porn fic where I’m actually super proud of the title. it really sets the tone 😂

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? Almost always. If you took the time to comment, I will take the time to say thank you. Especially when I get the really juicy comments, like those that quote favourite lines and stuff. I love those comments, they’re so helpful!

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I’m really bad at following through on angst, I wrap that shit up with a vaguely happy ending. That said, Control You is pretty bad. It’s also locked, because I lock RPF religiously. kill them; kill them with fire is technically still a WIP, so it doesn’t count, although it’s some of the angstiest fic I’ve written.

7. do you write crossovers? Not so much these days, but I used to

8. have you ever received hate on a fic? Oh yes, before the US Pundit fandom hid all the RPF away in secret, thoroughly locked LJ communities, there were some pretty ugly instances of hate going around.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? Ahahaha, yes, I do. 23 of those 31 fics are rated E. And it was the same back on LJ.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know.

11. have you ever had a fic translated? I’ve received requests for a couple of fics to be translated into Russian. I gave my permission, but I have no idea if they followed through with it.

12. have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. Way back when I was 18 I had a 42 year old BFF from California who shared my brand of absurd humour and we co-wrote a sprawling 20K+ Pundit RPF comedy zombie AU, where we took turns writing the chapters as we went along, playing off what the other person had written in the previous chapter. I was a great experience, like the fic equivalent of improv comedy groups. An entire story based on ‘yes, and...’ as a concept.

13. what’s your all-time favorite ship? I can’t possibly answer that question, I’m a bit of a whore in this respect. I mix and match. Although judging from my AO3 account it’s ChillyWilly and Barisi, and it’s true that I love those ships.

14. what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? kill them; kill them with fire probably. It’s a ASOUE Zombie AU with stand-alone chapters focusing on different characters in different locations, but in a vaguely chronological order. Can you tell that I adore zombie AUs? Anyway, I was very proud of this one, because this particular zombie apocalypse is totally “realistic” in-universe. It takes an existing killer-fungus danger and replaces ‘certain death’ being the result of infection with ‘zombies’ being the result. So yes, it’s The Last of Us-style “zombies”. I actually stole the terminology from there as well, because I couldn’t be bothered with creating too much lore. I never care about the actual zombie horror anyway, I care about the human reaction to a deadly crisis. 

15. what are your writing strengths? A writer I admired very much in ye olden days once told me that I was good at blending genres and moods organically, in those day it was combinations of action, humour, and smut. She then asked me, me, for advice on a fic. I still think about that every single time I feel down.

16. what are your writing weaknesses? Definitely a tendency for overly detailed, flowery, self-indulgently elaborate prose. I spent years forcing myself to use a plain ‘said’ more often, because God knows I struggled with the concept from the beginning. And commas. So many commas. I often joke that Ernest Hemingway would fucking deck me if he was alive and reading my stuff. Oscar Wilde would you rather discuss writing with? Case closed.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I think it’s fine in controlled doses, especially if you consult native speakers to confirm that google translate isn’t about to make you look really silly to native speakers of the language in question.

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for? Lord of the Rings, I think? At least in English. I was 14 when the first film came out, so it was around then. It was really bad. English is my second language, and my grammar... left something to be desired. Okay, technically I wrote fic for The Hobbit first, because our teacher was pretty cool when it came to assigning various writing challenges, and in this case he made us all write fanfic that should be a twist on the pretty anticlimactic (according to him) ending of the book. I proceeded to literally kill off half the dwarves in a gruesome Smaug-fight. Very indiscriminately, I might add. Completely random. Just piling up dead, scorched dwarves for shits and giggles.

19. what’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written? Okay, bear with me here, but I’m just really proud of Young Police Cadet Bottoms for Busty Blonde. Probably the smuttiest smut I’ve ever written. I enjoyed every second of the writing process, I had a wonderful time, and it lives up to its title in terms of balls to the wall PWP insanity.  A Guide to Recognizing Your Ghosts and Unfortunate Living Arrangements are also up there, because I’m still a Chilton fangirl at heart.

20. who do you tag? all of my old ASOUE peeps! @beatricebidelaire, @virginian-wolfsnake, @kitsnicket etc. etc. You know who you are.

[perexcri]

Aaaa I can’t believe there’s only six more chapters!! I’m happy for you about the new job!!

Also 🥰🥰🥰 you continue to have first sentences on a Lock. “They pull closer, and spring washes away in thunderheads and afternoon showers to reveal a sweltering summer.”

Mike basically proposing how he does is So in Character of him tbh. I also like how he didn’t Push too hard about it. (Maybe if they do end up going to the east together, they could elope👀👀👀👀).

I’ve been trying to figure out what Will’s almost,,,wistful half-longing for leaving reminds me of, and I finally figure out. I could deffo be way off base, but it’s almost like the Elvish desire for the Undying Lands. (And tho Byler are most often compared to samfrodo, I think in this scenario they would be more like Legolas and Gimli, hopefully making sure his love dearest friend gets to go with him.) ofc, again I could be way off, but just what I was thinking.

“They grow and they learn. They speak and they smile and they laugh, and when one says something too out of line, the other lets him know with sharp glares and pointed comments. Will instinctively reaches for two sets of things now no matter what, and Mike always draws close to him, as if he’s not complete without the other by his side.” This whole paragraph !!! They!!!

Cuddles!!!!! Cuddling for safety from nightmares is !!!!!! They’re getting even closer !! I’m so dndjdic. I’m so normal about them, I swear.

I really do adore this story. It’s always a nice pick me up when the day hasn’t been the best, or turns an okay day great. I hope you know how much I appreciate u, as a writer and as a friend.

Anyway I hope you are doing well, and that the project and your upcoming job (!!!) are fun and wonderful.

i knowww!! it's almost over!! i will say all of these upcoming chapters run a little longer though, so there's at least that? i promise i'm doing my best to give them their happy ending :D

(and thanks for the well wishes on the job i am excited but so nervous but i am being so brave about it)

ajlsajlasdj i am once again making a surprised pikachu face and blushing at you pointing out something about my writing. i'm glad you liked that first sentence!! it's been so fun in this fic to describe the seasons passing and what-not. my more popular fics (like to hell and back again, cheer up baby, and what a match) all have really heavy time or place constraints, so this one has been nice to be able to let it flow more naturally and see where it takes me. it's become very near and dear to my heart, so i'm especially grateful for people like you for keeping up with it!!

yeah Mike basically proposing 👀 hrrrhmhmmmm 👀

Vee,,,i am about to reveal something about myself, and i hope you can forgive me: i honestly don't know a whole lot about lord of the rings (which is really weird considering i read the first book when i was in middle school, but i digress). i trust your judgment on this though, and i am doing some furious googling just so i can learn more about it!!

i'm glad you liked that paragraph about them growing together T_T that's been one of the parts that's been absolutely gnawing at me. like i've wanted to post it ever since i wrote it, so i'm very happy it gets to be out in the world now :D and yes, they are getting closer!! literally if i thought my brain could handle it i would proofread the next chapter and post it tonight, but i am so tired lol. it should be coming out tomorrow though!! i hope so at least, or else i might explode or something

i know i already gushed about this somewhere up there in this block of text^^^ but i truly am glad you enjoy this story so much!! i enjoy all the support i get on fics ofc, but people like you who have been regularly interacting with this one have made me feel extra special. this story means a lot to me, and i'm glad it can mean something to others now or that it can be a reason to make your day a little brighter, and in the end, that's all i can really ask for out of the stuff that i write, and it's something i've learned i really enjoy doing. i used to never share stuff i wrote with other people, but i'm slowly learning that you can never know how it might affect another person, and that sometimes it's better to share and see what happens than keep it close to your chest and never let somebody else partake in what you've made

aND YOU VEE!! i hope YOU know how much i appreciate you as a friend!! you are so sweet and kind, and i always look forward to what you have to say whenever i update anything because you're always so thoughtful and have such good insight. you're such a lovely person and a wonderful light in my life as well as others'. i hope this isn't being too Out There or whatever, but when i hit a point about a month ago where i really thought i was gonna have to put this fic aside because i was so stuck on it and just dealing with my own stuff, your messages about it really helped me keep going T_T it is not a stretch at all to say that i would not be nearing the end of this fic without you, so please know that you do so much even just by the presence you have on this webbed site and in this fandom!!

i would love to say this is the only time today i've typed up a super long reply to something when i maybe should've made it shorter, but nope!! i've been responding to ao3 comments that are just a few sentences with 2-3 paragraphs tonight. guess i'm just in a Mood huh

bUT if you are willing to put up with my drivel, i just want you to know you deserve all the best!! i am wishing you glowing flowers, as well as wonderful things for the new year and your endeavors, whether big or small!! :] 💜💜💜