#barry off eastenders

[darren-lamb-talent-agency]

I love you

Blimey, that's- rather forward.

Well, you're only human, I suppose. Who couldn't love someone as charismatic as I am? I'm a talent agent for a reason.

Speaking of, I've gotta get Barry a job soon, he keeps complaining. Bloody nerve of it, eh? I can probably scrape together something for him... Gardening again, probably. That pays well, and I want my 12.5%.

[googly-eyed-plank]

Anyone fancy joining a BBC Extras discord?

Edit: closed, send an ask if you'd like to talk about Extras instead!

[darren-lamb-talent-agency]

Blimey, some 'AU', hm!

I'd LOVE to play the Doctor. Barry and I watch it every Friday. Can't get enough of it.

[doyelikehaggis]

call for the wip ask game :)

I’m gonna be annoying and use a few different fics for this!

1. waiting room (hollyoaks)

The hospital waiting room makes George think of Ash. He searches the chairs and finds her. Head bent, hidden in her hands behind a curtain of blonde and purple hair that is little more lacklustre than he's used to. Of course. Like brother, like sister; she hasn't left the hospital since yesterday. Further confirming that for him is the sparkly silver dress she obvious hasn't had a chance to change out of since getting the call in the early hours of the morning.

2. seeing ghosts (eastenders)

'You're dead,' Bobby blurts out, cutting her off. 'You're not... you're not real. I know you're not. I need to call Nan. I need...'

3. High School Reunion (SuperFlash/Glee)

Trent might have told him that Blaine's asked about him a few times and doesn't hold a grudge, but that doesn't make a difference. Two people out of two whole schools. He might as well call up Snart and ask him if the Rogues want some target practice. That would definitely end better than this reunion would if he dared to go. 

&

Barry grins as Blaine gets up on the stage. Kara shakes her head at him, mouthing, “no way!” when he tries to motion them up onto the stage with him. He rolls his eyes and leans in to whisper something to Trent, then pulls back with an even brighter grin. The opening notes of “One Call Away” starts playing as Blaine is handed a microphone. 

Fanfiction Work-In-Progress Guessing Game

[churchofthegreytrousers]

The way Eastenders treats relationships just make it so I don't even want to get invested anymore, because they just keep fucking them up. If rare that a couple will get to leave together and ride off to their happily ever after.

And even then sometimes you have to wait almost 40 years for it (See: Colin and Barry)

For the rest of them, its affairs, prison and death.

[darren-lamb-talent-agency]

Absolute liberty, I tell you. Barry's only had the gall to try and get himself on some BBC show without telling me first. I'm losing out on my 12.5% here!

[darren-lamb-talent-agency]

The lads!

[googly-eyed-plank]

Anyone fancy chatting about BBC Extras?

[newmusickarl]

Top 50 Albums of 2023: #20-11

20. A Kiss For The Whole World by Enter Shikari

If there’s one band that has soundtracked my 2023 more than any other, it’s St Albans’ finest Enter Shikari. Not just because this album is far and away my most played of 2023 but also because back in May, I decided to rank every single Enter Shikari song from worst to best – an article that is sadly now lost in the ether. As a result of that mammoth undertaking, they were by far my most played artist of 2023. Therefore, I couldn’t think of a better way to kick off the big Top 20 than with A Kiss For The Whole World, an album that also earned Britain’s most underrated band their first ever number one album on the UK charts earlier this year.

The last we heard from the Shikari boys before this year, it was at the height of lockdown when they were found revelling in the abyss on their most ambitious outing to date - Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible. Now with A Kiss For The Whole World, the band re-emerged from those depths, this time filled with hope, positivity and gratitude. There’s a sense of optimism in the songs here, with the band also referencing their previous work multiple times (“You’re still standing like a statue” on the title track, “Wish I was back at the Dreamer’s Hotel” on Jailbreak and “I went to live outside to find myself” on Giant Pacific Octopus to name just a few easter eggs).

It presents an interesting dynamic at the heart of the record, almost like the band know how dire the world is right now, but on the flip side they are just so grateful for their fans and the career that they’ve been able to have until now. With these contrasting emotions driving forward the writing, it all makes for a thrilling 30-minute listen that’s impactful yet joyous, and also plays out like a love letter to their fans.

Best tracks: Bloodshot/Bloodshot Coda, Jailbreak, A Kiss For The Whole World

Listen here

19. Here Come The Early Nights by Spector

There is simply nothing better than one of your favourite bands pulling out all the stops and turning in one of their best records to date. I’m pleased to say, that’s exactly what Fred MacPherson and Jed Cullen did this November, as the duo that now make up Spector delivered a record that is both equally poetic and anthemic.

Frontman Fred MacPherson has always had a distinctly unique way with words, with his sharp, witty lyrics making him one of my all-time favourite songwriters. Fourth album Here Come The Early Nights finds him in a particularly reflective mood, contemplating heartbreak, aging, political pressures and the metaphorical party coming to an end. With longtime friend and collaborator Dev Hynes (Blood Orange/Lightspeed Champion) also adding further weight to the songwriting and instrumentation at points, it’s simply an outstanding collection of songs.

The Notion is one of their best songs to date, centred on a great central guitar riff with intricate lines like “What happens after the afters?” Single Driving Home For Halloween is also jam-packed with cutting lyrics, with my personal favourite: “Been a minute since we shot the shit but I assure you I’m still full of it.” Following the horn-tastic Never Have Before, things get a bit grungier on Not Another Weekend which boasts the most hilarious lyric of the whole album: “Fear and Loathing in Leo Valley, Shaun Williamson’s Mustang Sally.” Big up Barry From Eastenders!

Despite all these great moments in the first half, it’s the final three tracks that are probably my favourites. Room With A Different View just has an instant timelessness about it, the title track is just a beautifully melancholic look at hedonistic days gone by and then All the World is Changing is a triumphant, New Order-inspired finale with its chugging, Peter Hook-esque bassline.

Had this record come out a month or two earlier so I had longer to live with it, there is a strong chance this would’ve finished in the Top 10. That said, Here Come The Early Nights feels tailor-made for this time of the year and I have no doubt this is one I will revisit constantly over the festive period and beyond. An incredible record that just connects on every level.

Best tracks: Here Come The Early Nights, Room With A Different View, The Notion

Listen here

18. Praise a Lord Who Chews but Which Does Not Consume; (Or Simply, Hot Between Worlds) by Yves Tumor

An album that came out back in March and to which I’ve found myself continually returning. Although active since 2015, I discovered musician and producer Yves Tumor through their last record, 2020’s Heaven To A Tortured Mind. It was a fascinating record, one that seamlessly blended elements of pop, hip-hop, alternative, soul, art-rock, grunge, shoegaze – you name a genre, Yves Tumor can pull it into the mix and use it to create a wonderful collage of sound. Hot Between Worlds (because I’m not using the daft full title) is a similar story, albeit Yves has travelled further into the rock realm this time around.

God Is A Circle is a cool scene setter, opening the record on the sounds of frantic panting before some buzzy, math-rock guitars arrive. Lovely Sewer is wonderfully hypnotic, featuring these dreamy guitar passages and an uncredited female vocalist who just lifts the track into another dimension. Meteora Blues is then one of the biggest highlights, somewhat reminiscent of Smashing Pumpkins with Yves’ grungy vocals, walls of guitars and then some mesmerising, almost psychedelic breakdowns.

Obviously setting a high bar so early always runs the risk that you can’t keep the momentum up, but Hot Between Worlds just gets better as it goes along. Heaven Surrounds Us Like a Hood draws shades to the late-great Jimi Hendrix, featuring some amazing guitar work but with glossy pop-style production. Fear Evil Like Fire has been one of my most played songs of the year according to Apple Music and I’m not surprised as it features the most amazing melody, with Yves seemingly mocking himself in the lyrics for becoming his own enemy and the thing he hates. Purified by the Fire is then this thunderous instrumental, with crashing cymbals and seismic electronic blasts, before Ebony Eye closes things out in a swirl of strings.

There’s obviously a story playing out within the music, amongst all the religious imagery it’s like Yves travelling through purgatory and coming out the other side. Even after a year of spinning this I’ve still not put all the narrative pieces together, but I think in the grand scheme of things it ultimately doesn’t matter - the sheer sonic splendour that you get with this record is more than worth the price of admission. A sharply concise, wildly imaginative 35-minute listen, where Yves pulls you into all these fascinating spaces of sound which you’ll just want to keep coming back to experience again and again.

Best tracks: Meteora Blues, Fear Evil Like Fire, Ebony Eye

Listen here

17. Laugh Track by The National

Anticipation can be a funny thing. When asked on the January episode of our podcast earlier this year what were some of my most anticipated records for the upcoming 12 months, a new album from The National was one of my picks. As one of my favourite bands, I couldn’t wait for the next instalment in their catalogue and by the time April and The First Two Pages of Frankenstein came around, my hype-o-meter had hit fever pitch. Sadly what I found, left me massively disappointed.

Whilst some fans took to the record immediately, for me Frankenstein was (and still is after numerous plays) the sound of a band seemingly out of ideas and just going through the motions. So when it was announced that The National were releasing their second album of 2023 titled Laugh Track, my expectations were hopeful but a bit more modest. Thankfully, Laugh Track turned out to be The National album I was hoping for at the start of 2023.

For me the contrasting contents is evident from the front covers of the two albums alone. Where Frankenstein is dull pink and monochromatic, Laugh Track is vivid and full of colour - which for me represents the huge difference in sound between the two. Bryan Devendorf has more of a presence whilst the Dessner brothers are stringing together interesting musical arrangements again. Matt’s lyrics suit the flow of the tracks better too, with some lines punching you in the gut like we know he can. But above everything else, a few of the songs here can stand shoulder to shoulder with The National’s very best.

A prime example is the colossal closing track Smoke Detector that sends the record into another stratosphere for me. Clocking in at just shy of eight minutes, it is like Sleep Well Beast cut The System Only Dreams In Total Darkness cranked up to 11. It sees Matt Berninger poetically rant over the top of an ominous riff as it begins to surge, the volume of his vocals steadily escalating along with it. Anchored around a heartfelt refrain of “You don’t know how much I love you, do you?”, it eventually explodes into a thrilling final couple of minutes led by the Dessner brothers’ climatic duelling guitars.

Whilst I appreciate some will still prefer Frankenstein and others may even be left lukewarm by this album as well, for me this is The National I know and love. Several songs here I immediately put alongside my favourites in their catalogue and overall, it is just a beautifully arranged record from beginning to end.

Best tracks: Smoke Detector, Weird Goodbyes, Space Invader

Listen here

16. Black Rainbows by Corinne Bailey Rae

I’ll admit, beyond her overplayed and overly twee breakout hit Put Your Records On, before this year I couldn’t name you another Corinne Bailey Rae track. With that being the case, I went into this fourth album from the British singer-songwriter with little expectation, other than a recommendation from 5-9 Editor Andrew Belt and some extremely positive reviews. As a result, I was blown away by the absolute tour de force with which I was presented.

Across the album’s ten tracks, Corinne effortlessly jumps from genre to genre whilst sharing her thoughts on subjects such as slavery, spirituality, freedom, hope and survival, all inspired by an art exhibition on Black history that she attended in Chicago. Whilst these radical style switches can be jarring at times, it also makes for an absolute thrill ride with not a single dull moment to be found. In just the opening three songs alone, Corinne flies between the rip-roaring A Spell, A Prayer, the experimental jazz of the title track before landing at the stomping rock riffs of Erasure.

It’s then in the middle section where the best songs can be found, with Corinne’s soulful cries of “I wanted to know you” gracefully gliding across the stirring arrangement on album highlight, Red Horse. She then immediately does a complete 180, firing into the full throttle garage rock of New York Transit Queen. Near 9-minute epic Put It Down is then the entire album in a nutshell, starting out as a magical slice of smooth R&B before transitioning into a pulsating buzz of electronica.

Black Rainbows is an album that on the surface sounds like it should be a hot mess, an “everything including the kitchen sink” collection of sounds and styles that would’ve quickly misfired in anyone else’s hands. Full credit to Corinne Bailey Rae though, as she keeps the project anchored and makes the dramatic transitions seem like the most natural thing in the world. An incredible record that you simply must hear and without a doubt one of the year’s most ambitiously inventive.

Best tracks: Put It Down, Red Horse, New York Transit Queen

Listen here

15. Sanguivore by Creeper

Back in October, I ranked this album third in the 5-9 Album of the Month podcast, below the debuts from both Barry Can’t Swim and SIPHO who we have already seen on this countdown. So how has this third album from Southampton-based goth rockers Creeper ended up here? Firstly, experiencing this album live at the start of November was without a doubt one of the musical highlights of my year, an incredibly theatrical live show unlike anything else I attended in 2023. Secondly, it’s an album that just puts the biggest smile on my face whenever I give it a spin.

Inspired by the likes of Jim Steinman, My Chemical Romance and Sisters of Mercy, it is a concept record that tells a vampire love story. However, the vampire in this case is meant to represent live music, with the Twilight-esque narrative told throughout the record actually a metaphor for the COVID lockdown and the eventual return of gigs and festivals. So not only is this an album that’s a ton of fun on an entirely superficial level, but if you want to scratch beneath the surface, there is a bit more to the album to which you can – excuse the deliberate pun – sink your teeth.

That’s the thematic concept, then sonically it’s a big, overly theatrical rock record with plenty of 80s-style synths and a bit of glam-rock/hair metal flair. Further Than Forever kicks things off with a 9-minute epic boasting more than a few shades of Meat Loaf classic, Bat Out of Hell. Singles Cry To Heaven and Teenage Sacrifice remind me of something you could see soundtracking Netflix series Stranger Things, with its neon glow and heavy metal energy. Elsewhere Sacred Blasphemy offers something a bit more punky and closer to the style of their debut, whilst Lovers Led Astray is a dramatic track filled with big rock riffs and spooky organs.

Sometimes music just needs to be a lot of fun to resonate and that is what Creeper delivered with Sanguivore. Without a doubt one of the best rock/metal albums of the year and one that offered the perfect soundtrack to the 2023 Halloween season.

Best tracks: Cry To Heaven, Further Than Forever, Sacred Blasphemy

Listen here

14. The Land Is Inhospitable And So Are We by Mitski

When this was a very narrow runner-up on the September episode of the 5-9 Album of the Month podcast, I mentioned that I was intrigued to find out where it would land on my year-end list. Well, here it is finishing right up in 14th which, given the beautiful wintery nature of the music Mitski crafts on this her seventh album, is no surprise.

As I said on the pod back in September, this Mitski record is a good advert for why you should always listen to an album at least once on headphones. I feel like you don’t truly know a record until you’ve sat down and properly indulged in it on a good set of noise-cancelling headphones. The first time I played this album it was on in the background whilst I was cooking on the kitchen speaker, where I noticed a few nice moments but not too much really standing out. Then the second time I played it was walking to work on a cold but sunny Autumn morning, quiet roads, headphones on - and then suddenly the music and words hit me like a ton of bricks.

Every time I’ve played this record since, I’ve found myself growing more and more fond of it. Bug Like An Angel was the first track I heard and it works wonderfully as the opener, with the choir vocals joining her for a powerful start. Buffalo Replaced is then my favourite on the whole album, just beautifully written with a great piano/organ passage. Heaven also lives up to its name, with Mitski gently cooing as the orchestration swells in the background. When Memories Snow I wish was longer, as it seems to end just as it really gets going with the triumphant sound of the Ennio Morricone-inspired brass horns. Sonically it’s all majestic but the way she conveys feelings of heartbreak, isolation and disillusionment in the songwriting is just beautiful too.

Above all though, it’s an album that feels instantly timeless, with the songs sounding like they’ve been plucked from another age in the same way as a lot of Lana Del Rey’s music. A wonderful record and one I can see myself picking up again for many Autumn/Winters to come.

Best tracks: Buffalo Replaced, When Memories Snow, I Love Me After You

Listen here

13. The Greater Wings by Julie Byrne

From one gut-punch record to another, as we arrive at the third album from American singer-songwriter Julie Byrne. Missing out on the 5-9 July Album of the Month podcast through losing the public vote, it was a big “Oh, what could have been” moment, in a month where none of the albums we reviewed particularly gripped us like other months. If Julie had won that vote, I have no doubt she would’ve finished near the top of our collective Album of the Year rankings. This is a devastatingly beautiful meditation on heartache and grief that demands to be heard.

Having begun recording the album in late 2020, the project was thrown into disarray when producer for these sessions, Eric Littman, suddenly and tragically died in mid-2021. In the wake of her loss, Byrne wrote this set of songs to process her grief, also expanding her instrumental palette by bringing in synths, harps and strings to further elevate her guitar-based arrangements. With her own haunting vocals then the key component that brings it all together, the result is a deeply stirring reflection on death and sorrow unlike any I’ve ever heard.

It's hard to pick out individual moments as highlights, as this really is an album that should be experienced from beginning to end. However, the ones that resonated with me the most were the gorgeous opening title track, the understated splendour of Moonless and then the powerful, emotionally charged finale, Death Is The Diamond.

I have to once again thank friend of the blog Kiley Larsen, as this is another record I may well have missed had it not been for his recommendation back in the summer. Like Mitski, an album made to be heard at this time of year and one that leaves a huge lasting impression.

Best tracks: Death Is The Diamond, Moonless, The Greater Wings

Listen here

12. Crazymad, For Me by CMAT

If there is one artist who most definitely had a breakout year in 2023, it is Ciara Mary-Alice Thompson - better known by her stage name, CMAT. Sure, she is already a superstar over in Ireland having won the Irish Choice Prize and reached the top of the Irish Album Chart with her 2022 debut If My Wife New I'd Be Dead, but in 2023 it feels like she introduced herself to a whole new audience over here in the UK too.

Having only just released that debut last year, CMAT has wasted little time in delivering an assured follow-up that successfully builds on the foundations laid with that breakout first album, with this sophomore outing another record full of high points. It starts very strong with California and Phone Me both joyous, string-tinged pop anthems, before midway through Robbie-Williams-endorsed John Grant collaboration - Where Are Your Kids Tonight? - shines bright. However, it’s the latter section where my favourite tracks seem to appear, with the piano-driven I…Hate Who I Am When I’m Horny seeing CMAT bemoan herself and her love life.

However, Stay For Something is undoubtedly the pick of the whole bunch and although I don’t rank my Top 100 Songs of the Year (which is still to come later this month just to remind you!), this song would honestly be at the very top. Thanks to some wonderfully bluesy guitars and CMAT’s own impassioned vocal cries of “Have you found what you’re looking for”, it builds to a devastating crescendo that never fails to hit me in all the feels. Also for those who haven’t seen it yet, make sure you watch her live performance of the track on The Graham Norton Show. A real star-making moment and, for me, the TV music performance of the year - check it out here.

Whilst admittedly I hadn’t completely bought into the CMAT hype the first time around like I know some did, there are a ton of moments on Crazymad, For Me that have already had me coming back for repeated spins. A brilliant follow-up from an artist who shows no signs of slowing down her ever-gathering momentum.

Best tracks: Stay For Something, I… Hate Who I Am When I’m Horny, California

Listen here

11. For That Beautiful Feeling by The Chemical Brothers

For the past three decades, the duo of Tom Rowlands and Ed Simons have been a constant - delivering iconic, instantly recognisable dance tracks and some of the best electronic music the world has ever seen. Whilst some guitar bands are often put on a pedestal beyond their worth, The Chemical Brothers by comparison don’t always get the recognition they deserve for their longevity and consistently excellent output. Now 10 albums into their career, the Brothers are aging like fine wine, with this latest opus - titled For That Beautiful Feeling - right up there with their very best work.

As ever, the Brothers have crafted this record as a mesmerising sonic journey, with each track able to stand alone as a magnificent piece of art whilst also seamlessly segueing together to form one mind-altering experience too. It’s a balance that only the best can muster and it seems like the duo have taken the best parts of their 30 year career to forge the inspiration for this new effort. The Weight plays out like Block Rockin’ Beats Version 2.0, a hypnotic blend of hip-hop and pulsating electronica. Skipping Like A Stone is then their latest collaboration with Beck, with it’s choral-like beat ensuring it hits every bit as hard as their previous classic together, Wide Open.

Those two tracks would be enough to secure the Top 20 spot, but honestly this album is littered with incredible moments. Singles Live Again, No Reason and The Darkness That You Fear sound even better in the context of the whole, with the latter having been reworked to better fit the mould. Feels Like I Am Dreaming is then a heady 7-minute colossus, transporting you across several new dimensions during the song’s duration. Goodbye is then my pick of the whole record, with a gorgeous soul sample immersed wonderfully within transcendent beams of synths at every turn.

This is without a doubt one of the records of the year, with the duo building on 2019’s No Geography to deliver yet another late career highlight. Not only are The Chemical Brothers one of the UK’s best live acts, but after this album we should recognise them for what they are – one of our most enduring artists, period.

Best tracks: Goodbye, Skipping Like A Stone, Feels Like I Am Dreaming

Listen here

Tomorrow, I reveal the final 10 albums of the countdown – don’t miss it!

[danglovely]

Regrading Taskmaster: S04E04 Friendship is truth.

*Score changes noted in parenthesis.

Prize Task: Most Surprising Picture of Yourself

We start off with Joe pressing his back fat through a hammock. Hilarious photo, but I'm not all that surprised that he lays in hammocks shirtless and had a photo taken of it when noticed. Hugh's most surprising picture is a mask of his own face. I think the "surprise" in this instance is that it's surprising Hugh would be the person wearing his own mask . . . but does that make the picture itself surprising?

Mel had herself photoshopped into Monet's Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe. Using photoshop for prize tasks are both unimaginative and unsurprising. Noel had a photo of himself dressed as The Virgin Mary cradling Julian Barratt as the baby Jesus from The Mighty Boosh. Once again, not all that surprising, but at least he didn't make the photo specifically to bring into the prize task.

Oh. My. God. Lolly. This is an easy win because Lolly brings a picture of her, in whiteface, dressed as Princess Diana. Her explanation is that it's "a political statement about when people black-up in movies." Both that this photo exists and the person she chose are completely surprising. The rest are close, but I think it goes Joe > Noel > Hugh > Mel. Reasoning is that life photos are better than production photos and Hugh's mask is bad, but it beats photoshop.

Hugh: 2 (+1) Joe: 4 (0) Lolly: 5 (0) Mel: 1 (-2) Noel: 3 (+1)

VT 01: Make the highest splash.

Some interpretation to be done here. "Highest" can mean either in relation to the ground or the splash's beginning point. I think Alex is measuring in relation to the ground, but I legitimately cannot figure out how Noel's was higher than Mel's if that is the case. I think I'll just have to take his word for it. This way I don't have to decide whether I base their predictions off of Greg's winner or my own.

Hugh: 2 Joe: 3 Lolly: 1 Mel: 4 Noel: 5

VT 02: Choreograph a dance for you and Alex to perform to a ringtone.

So it's the most stylish dance that wins. Despite Mel getting the ringtone wrong, I cannot deny the stylishness of her dance. Sencha is absolutely the wrong ringtone to pick for this task and Noel tries to capture the "cheekiness" with a "shrew-move." I don't know why he thinks a shrew is a stylish animal.

Joe and Lolly pick the same ringtone and both have some flaws. Alex intentionally? unintentionally? hits Lolly in the face during pattycake. Either way not stylish, but there is a lot of style in the way she brings it home. Joe has he and Alex wear sunglasses, which is stylish. He chooses a stylish position, but he doesn't have much of a routine outside of hopping.

Hugh goes for the most ambitious routine and absolutely does not execute it. I don't believe in ties on subjective tasks and I thought the end of Lolly's dance was quite stylish, so we're dropping Noel down.

Hugh: 1 (0) Joe: 2 (0) Lolly: 4 (+1) Mel: 5 (0) Noel: 3 (-2)

VT 03: Create a portrait of a celebrity using loo roll.

I really hate contestants putting words on their pictures to make them identifiable and that's what Lolly and Joe do. Harry Potter is a celebrity in fiction and Daniel Radcliffe is a celebrity in real life, so Lolly's subject matter is fine. Even absent "Accio" I would have recognized it and it's a decent portrait.

Surprisingly . . . I haven't seen EastEnders, so I'm not familiar with Pam St Clement. Joe does a decent enough job, but there's no way Greg would have guessed it if he hadn't written her name.

Hugh's picture of Queen Elizabeth II is recognizable (I don't know how Greg got it wrong). Honestly, great effort by him in my personal opinion. Noel does a self portrait. I did guess it was him first, but it definitely gave me John Lennon vibes. This is by far Noel's worst art task so far.

Mel did a terrible portrait of Barry Gibb. So terrible, she forgot who she did and thought it was Kris Kristofferson. It's a lot closer to Gibb, but still an easy last place.

I really don't know how Greg gave Noel five here. Hugh's is easily the best and I'd probably put Joe's and Lolly's ahead of his as well if they hadn't used words.

Hugh: 5 (+2) Joe: 3 (-1) Lolly: 2 (0) Mel: 1 (-1) Noel: 4 (-1)

VT 04: Do the most incredible thing with this pommel horse.

Hugh summersaults over the pommel horse eight times on camera (Alex said he did eleven total). Lolly sort of summersaults twice near it, rides it for a second, then crawls under it. I find Hugh's effort to be pretty impressive . . . Lolly seems like an easy one point because she doesn't really use the pommel horse.

Joe kind of loses his mind. It seems like he's trying to turn it into a real horse . . . by putting his shoes on it? He then puts a walker next to it and tells a story about an elderly man that used to ride it and is now dead. Very strange.

Mel makes it disappear. It's clearly an editing trick, but it's pretty well done. Noel also uses editing, this time to turn the pommel horse into Alex. It's more blatant, but still better than any clearly poor efforts (plus you can't grade too much lower than Mel's, because they both kind of did the same thing).

Hugh: 5 (0) Joe: 2 (-1) Lolly: 1 (0) Mel: 4 (-1) Noel: 3 (0)

Live Task: Make the highest tower using these tubes.

Noel and Joe are both holding their towers after the whistle, but Alex doesn't tell them to stop. I also noticed Noel trying to add a third tube while the others are being graded, but he isn't successful. Alex seems to have a decent handle on it, so no score changes.

Hugh: 5 Joe: 3 Lolly: 3 Mel: 5 Noel: 3

Final:

So Noel steals one off of Mel. Reasoning here is because despite Greg saying that he wasn't surprised that she photoshopped herself into a Monet painting, he still gave her some points. Noel was close enough that any drop in points would have forced a tie.

Hugh: 20 (+3) Joe: 17 (-2) Lolly: 16 (+1) Mel: 20 (-4) Noel: 21 (-2)

[darren-lamb-talent-agency]

OH, me and you both.

I should get some more muffins in. Barry'd like that

I want NEED a full sized poster of this.

[notasapleasure]

EastEnders run (2000-2001), Part 3/4

Warnings if you’re not keen on big shouty men, Beppe flips out in this and I took a lot of screencaps.

---

Ok I did read the character summary so I know roughly what's coming now, but here goes! Last three episodes of those he's in for a few months - expect some drama! What's Sandra going to decide??

9 October 2000

Noooo, that youtube video is just the October 5 episode again :(

10 October 2000

Breakfast time at Sandra and Beppe's. Beppe wants to take her up to Leicester to see his family - the source of the original breakup (apparently they didn't like her for not being Italian) - but Sandra is cagey and heads out to work.

Guess who's on her doorstep, as usual?

He claims it's the only way he can get in touch with her and makes the usual ultimatum! He's leaving Thursday - she says she'll call him later...

The background music continues to deal me psychic damage. Tom Jones' Sex Bomb playing in the pub while Peggy acts heartbroken over Frank's spinning bow tie 🙃

Laura joking about kidnapping Ian's kids in (apparently) very poor taste but it's emphasising the subliminal messaging acting on Sandra, innit? She's worried that if she runs off with Joe though it'll be held against her in terms of custody. This is why ultimatums aren't helpful, young Mr Robbins!

Also once more, pleasantly surprised by the way Frank and Pat's affair gets into the effects of that on the friendship between Peggy and Pat - she's already lonely because of Frank, and now her best friend isn't in a position to support her because she's also hiding things.

Anyway, Beppe's being a dear about this trip to Leicester and talking about taking Joe horse riding. Do they have horse riding in Bristol, hm?

I should probably warn anyone tempted to watch these that Barry is on a strictly enforced diet and his wife is an asshole about making him stick to it. Could be triggering for anyone with issues around food.

Ian unhelpfully gives Sandra Thursday and Friday off for a trip to Leicester when Beppe asks him for her.

LMAOOO Tivik (the guy with the bust arm who Cassian shoots in Rogue One, played by Daniel Mays) has chained himself to the Slaters' gate because he loves Kat, and swallowed the key to his padlock. Among the audience he's drawn, Sandra asks what his problem is, and Beppe says "Some guys don't know what it's over." Oh ho ho ho...

Sandra's still trying to get out of going to Leicester on Thursday - she offers to bring Joe on the train on Friday pm and Beppe agrees. She asks Ian not to mention that she still wants Thursday off...

Today we have shouty Jack >:(

He goes on and on in the usual bloody way until he makes Sandra cry. You can see why the Met Police hired him 🙄

Then after all the shouting he goes all quiet and soft of course, and when Sandra says he can come to the house on Thursday because Beppe will be away he has the cheek to ask gently "Are you sure this is what you want?"

16 October 2000

DRAMA TIME

Sandra tells Beppe she's leaving. She says she can't keep pretending that she loves him (which is a contradiction of what she told Jack in the first episode)

Uh oh, Beppe heads outside "You're not taking my son!"

Jack pops out of the car 😬😬😬

"You call me mate when you sleep wiv my wife??" Classic EastEnders

Ok, I did my best with the screenshots, but apologies still

Intricate rituals....

Bless him, Jack gets a punch in but it's a 'restrain the arrestee' kind of punch not the brawling Beppe's good at. Beppe isn't taking this well at all. "I thought you were my friend?!"

That’s right, protect your face love!!!

There's an audience of course.

Sonya: "Should I call the police?"

Mo: "From what I heard, they are the police!"

Robbie's not confident he can break up this uh. Street fight on his own.

Mark gets Beppe to break it up because Sandra and Joe are watching.

Beppe grabs Joe and takes him inside.

Joe doesn't seem all that happy, and Beppe won't pick up the phone to Sandra (with grumpy Jack in the background). He is feeling guilty af though. And Laura's helping. Donkey Kong therapy :')

Laura's too good for this world - truly, she suggests Beppe talk things through! As if anyone has ever done that on EastEnders dkskjssjsjfff omg he does try it! Genuinely, Beppe is the better person at the point.

Oh goooodddd the locals are all on open-season bitch-fest about Sandra and Jack now D:

Jack thinks Sandra's letting Beppe call all the shots. He's so awful :')

"I don't remember inviting you."

"You didn't."

My god if the big dick swinging ego of these two idiots was spread evenly through the population we'd have no impostor syndrome left in the world.

Beppe finally gets the truth about how Sandra and Jack lived together for years.

(ah teen romance soundtracked by 5ive - Until the Time is Through *stares into the camera with a weak laugh*)

Now it's Beppe's turn to be a little bitch too

Ugh god I have such mixed emotions about Jack looking so protective while Sandra recounts her miscarriage woes again

Jack says a month or so later she up and left :(

Beppe: "She's good at that." But he does seem to understand...

Beppe: "It's all been about Joe, ain't it?"

Sandra: "No..."

Jack: "Uh, yeah!"

Beppe, who raised Joe alone after Sandra left him, is understandably dubious about Joe having a better family life with them.

Jack is wearing the ultimate 'no fucks given, no regrets' expression

"I'm so glad you can't have any more kids coz you don't deserve the one you've got!" Stay classy Beppe.

Sandra's had enough and Jack invokes the courts.

"And when we come back, we're taking Joe with us!"

---

End of Part 3. Wow, Jack is really not boyfriend material! :’) But then again, the narrative of EastEnders doesn’t really take a moral standpoint and everyone’s behaved pretty stupidly badly. Read on to find out how things can be resolved in a(n ir)rational world!

[babygirlgalitzine]

The episodes were awful and overdone. She's a 90+ lady who passed peacefully. Barry and Colin actually being together all this time would have been more impactful. The Felix involvement? Ugh And Clenshaw has done nothing to suggest he's an improvement on Sen. Every story is as shallow as a paddling pool. The only notable thing he's doing is killing off Lola which is a huge mistake. He's dismissed Ben's rape storyline like it didn't exist which makes him awful at best and Callum no longer exists.

1) june literally said that she would not want dot to die whilst she was alive. they waited until june was dead before they did this story. it was a goodbye to her, as well as dot. the episodes were amazing and not overdone at all. she was on eastenders for decades, it would be horrendous if they’d have just done a 10 minute segment of a funeral because of the sheer amount of people dot has helped over the years, or has known over the years. we got these big episodes when pat died, and when peggy died - so it was very much a given that this would happen

2) they couldn’t have been together all this time, because as i said, colin got married in 2016 as the first gay marriage to my knowledge (christian and syed was a civil partnership). the felix involvement is important because we don’t get to see an older generation of queer people because aids wiped out so many people. to have a young gay man looking at an older gay couple, that was important

3) the lola storyline is also important and probably wouldn’t gain as much traction or feel as important if it was someone like karen who has a brain tumour. lola is young, she’s a young mum, who is tied to the mitchell’s therefore she is already near the centre of the show. they needed someone like her to die, as much as i hate it, because it shows that cancer does not fucking discriminate

4) the rape sl was not clenshaw’s sl he literally only finished it. there has been many storylines that have crossed producers over the years in which the new producer does not like and ultimately immediately disregards it because they do not like that it happened. ben also is at the centre of the current sl with lola, and therefore it would not work if he was still embroiled in his own sl as well because that would be too much upset for the audience and after the whole sen and the gray sl i do not blame clenshaw for dropping that sadness immediately

5) clenshaw is at the beginning of his career as producer. he has not used various characters such as, but not limited to: martin, bobby, shirley, patrick, kim, vinny, howie. callum is included in that, but that does not mean that he will not have a storyline in the future. the producer does not announce every character that will have a storyline during their tenure as producer prior to a storyline beginning

hope that helps

[gdwessel]

Road to Wrestle Grand Slam Night 3 - 5/25/2021; Now Taichi, Jay White, David Finlay Revealed As Positive For COVID-19; Ren Narita + Rocky Romero on AEW Dark: Elevation 5/24/2021 With RPG Vice Reunion!; Some Words On Ospreay And Other Rumors

Days Of Thunder + Strong Style History Present: Collision In Korea

The tour continued today, with a show you can see now on NJPWWorld. - 5/25/2021, Tokyo Korakuen Hall (NJPWWorld)

Chase Owens [Bullet Club] d. Yota Tsuji (Package Driver, 8:34)

Zack Sabre Jr. & DOUKI [SZKG] v. Yujiro Takahashi & Taiji Ishimori [Bullet Club] (Sabre > Yujiro, Barry From Eastenders, 9:44)

Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa [Bullet Club] d. Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Master Wato (Tonga > Wato, Magic Killer, 12:44)

Tetsuya Naito, SANADA, Shingo Takagi & BUSHI [Los Ingobernables] d. Hirooki Goto [CHAOS], Tomohiro Ishii [CHAOS], YOSHI-HASHI [CHAOS] & Ryusuke Taguchi (Takagi > Taguchi, Made In Japan, 17:11)

Kota Ibushi & Hiroshi Tanahashi d. Jeff Cobb & Great O-Khan [United Empire] (Ibushi > O-Khan, Kamigoye, 15:53)

Ibushi restated he wants a singles match against Cobb. Dominion seems likely. Naito and Ishii got into it once more. ZSJ has YET ANOTHER finisher with a wacky name.

In the wake of Kazuchika Okada’s revelation that he tested positive for COVID-19, Tokyo Sports ran a piece that now Taichi (Taichiro Maki) has confirmed he too was positive for the coronavirus, coming down with fever after wrestling in Fukuoka. Taichi said in the piece that he spent his time playing PS5 but is now back in training. Taichi appeared on commentary at yesterday’s show which, erm, that’s kind of a brave move, hope it works out for them.

It’s also been revealed that Jay White and David Finlay Jr. both tested positive, however that came from a statement by Finlay’s father, former WCW/WWE wrestler and trainer David “Fit’ Finlay in an appearance on the Stories With Briscoe And Bradshaw podcast. According to Fit, White and Finlay were both on their way out when their positive tests came back, and were told to quarantine at the New Japan Dojo, rather than at a government sponsored hotel. If this is the root of some of the dissatisfaction by the non-Japanese wrestlers, I can pretty well see that. If I was told I can go home, and then I couldn’t when I was already travelling, either because of a positive COVID-19 test, or because NJPW decided last second to runs shows in May, I’d be seriously pissed off too. However, this is hearsay, even if it is from one of the people involved’s father. Whatever the case, we hope everyone involved will be OK. Taichi certainly seemed to be yesterday.

Last night on AEW's Monday-night YouTube show Dark: Elevation (which is very pre-taped), we got two matches at the top of the card featuring NJPW talents via the so-called "Forbidden Door." In the semi-main, Ren Narita defeated Royce Isaacs in a back-and-forth affair with Narita getting the win with Narita Special #4. In the main event, Rocky Romero beat the much bigger JD Drake of the Wingmen with a flash La Magistral cradle. Afterwards, the rest of the Wingmen attempted a beatdown of Romero, but was saved by Chuck Taylor, Kris Statlander, Orange Cassidy and TRENT BARETTA. A magic moment was had as Rocky and Trent reunited, the old Roppongi Vice theme playing whilst doing the jumping high five shtick for the first time in... a long time. Rocky was then part of the Best Friends group hug, because, as they say, you got to give the people what they want. There is still a lot of chatter about Will Ospreay, the reasons why he left Japan to go back to the UK, the legitimacy of his injuries, and the unrest among the non-Japanese talents in NJPW right now. What's really infuriating is hiding a lot of this behind paywalls and paid podcasts in the name of Sk00pz! Quite a bit of this is speculation on both Ospreay's mental health and personal life at the moment (i.e. the OsCutter to Bea Priestley was the in-ring way of writing her out as they have split as a couple now). None of which is, frankly, any of our concern, no matter what other shitty things Ospreay has done or said. Regardless of what we all collectively think of William Ospreay, and the situation with vacating the IWGP World Heavyweight title, he doesn't even rank in the Top 5 (Bottom 5?) All-Time Worst IWGP Heavyweight Title Reigns, and is not even the worst one of the last five years. Recency bias is a thing, sure, and things are not great creatively (although? These last two shows? Not bad!). 

There are rumblings of a mass exodus of non-Japanese wrestlers in January, either until quarantine procedures end, or just going elsewhere. But then, there always is. Not four months ago the internet was convinced Jay White was heading to AEW or NXT. Minoru Suzuki was a lock to start with Pro Wrestling NOAH in January 2020. Kenny Omega was going to be a surprise entrant into the Royal Rumble 2017. None of these things ever happened. We're not even in June; let's worry about January closer to the date eh? The last of the three Korakuen Hall shows is tomorrow. - 5/26/2021, Tokyo Korakuen Hall (NJPWWorld)

Yota Tsuji v. Shingo Takagi [Los Ingobernables]

Hiroshi Tanahashi, Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Master Wato v. Yujiro Takahashi, Chase Owens & Taiji Ishimori [Bullet Club]

Zack Sabre Jr. & DOUKI [SZKG] v. Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa [Bullet Club]

Kota Ibushi & Tomoaki Honma v. Jeff Cobb & Great O-Khan [United Empire]

Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI [CHAOS] v. Tetsuya Naito & SANADA [Los Ingobernables]

Days Of Thunder + Strong Style History Present: Collision In Korea

[jackbatchelor3]

Janine Pushes Barry Off A Cliff! EastEnders

[sunsetsover]

top 5 ee episodes & why?

fuck man i’ve been watching eastenders since i was a kid and there’s been soooo many iconic episodes and i cannot possibly remember them all so if you’re expecting a proper in depth answer to this i’m about to disappoint u but here it goes

in no particular order:

peggy’s suicide - literally peggy was and still is one of the biggest icons on not only on ee but on british tv in general and if it were possible i would have her running the vic until the end of time but unfortunately it’s not. like i wasn’t even watching ee when this ep aired but i watched it bc the fact that barbara windsor was coming back to reprise her roll as peggy and that peggy was going to die was genuine News in the uk and everyone and their mother tuned in to see peggy’s farewell and the fact that it was so well handled and her walking through the square reminiscing and that scene where she was in the vic and talking to mick and linda and the fact that they had pat come back to be there with her just like the entire thing was so so sad but poignant and yeah :-( i miss her :-(

hunter holding the vic at gun point - ok like obvious reasons aside the whole seige episode was so GOOD like i was so tense the entire time which is a hard thing to do!!! like i still can’t quite believe that ep was only half an hour it felt so much longer than that and yes i’m a lil biased bc ben is my fave and watching him slowly bleed to death was like hell (even tho i knew he lived) but i think even ppl who didn’t like ben Felt It. and there were just so many layers like you had the ben and callum stuff which overlapped into the callum and whitney stuff and then ofc the ben and louise and then ben and phil stuff when he come in and sonia trying to keep him alive and the hunter and mel stuff which was GOOD even tho idrc abt hunter lmao but the hunter/louise/bex stuff, the louise and lisa stuff and then those final few scenes where sonia managed to get ben breathing and then hunter shot keanu and then the police shooting hunter and sharon calling mel so she didn’t have to see and then that final ‘mummy’s got you’ scene……… academy award

bradley’s death - THIS SHIT TRAUMATIZED ME OK i loved bradley sm and i was so upset when him and stacey broke up (even tho i get it now as an adult) and then u have him falling off the fucking vic roof calling out stacey’s name…….. the whole thing was just so intense in a way u don’t really see in anymore like the drama didn’t come from the fact that it was made dramatic by the script or the acting or the music or anything like that it was dramatic bc it was fucking horrifying between all the screaming and shouting and everyone’s reactions and just yh… they dont make em like that no more!!!

janine killing barry - i don’t have a reason for this other than the fact that barry rolling down that hill sticks so fucking vividly in my mind for some reason which is twice as weird bc i must have been so young when i saw it but the fact that i remember it must mean it was Iconic and that’s reason enough for me…….. plus janine is just That Bitch tbh i want her back

this year’s pride - perhaps a little basic of me but i can’t think of any other (personally) iconic episodes rn (all i can think of is characters/storylines lmao) but! it was a fucking good ep and i saw it right as i got back into ee again and i think the different povs and experiences and the characters being at different points in their sexuality journey was so Important like between bernie experiencing her first pride (as a teen!) with all of her family supporting her and going with her and her having a good time and having her Moment and then lesbian elder tina talking abt her experiences and her first pride and guiding and encouraging bernie and then the contrast of that vs everything that callum was dealing with and going through and him (as someone who is approaching their 30s) still being in the closet and the absolute heartbreak of seeing him be SO upset because he’s physically there at pride but he’s so far away from everyone around him and their joy and freedom like he was so horribly isolated from everyone except ben and the one person he did reach out to by admitting he slept with ben he thought got it and supported him only for stuart to turn around and batter ben and i know ppl weren’t happy w that and people didn’t like it and thought it was unnecessary and inappropriate and i 100% get why but i also get why they did it bc it was a such a shock and a strike contrast to what was going on outside and was meant to drive home that yeah pride is nice and all but this is what’s still happening u know so while it was horrible i think it was deliberately that way but that’s just my opinion. plus it was just nice to have a pride-dedicated ep and have all different ppl there representing like imo they did a pretty good job with it actually lookin like a pride event so. yh lmao.

there are probably soooooo many i’m overlooking but these are the first ones that came to mind and i’m a big believer in following ur gut so! yeah!