#barkbarkbark etc

[grimark]

having the master kneel in front of the doctor and litchrally beg her to kill them both. man i am NOT feeling normal about this.

[galpalaven]

kana hitting on maneha and she "ive always preferred women"

👉🏼👈🏼🥺 big muscly older butch lady for me????

[betwixtify]

[ID: two pictures, both featuring two people cosplaying Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Ianthe Tridentarius from The Locked Tomb book series. Harrowhark is dressed in all black with elaborate skull face paint and Ianthe wears a purple robe with gold trim over a white blouse and has a spatter of blood at the corner of her mouth. In the first picture, Harrow had a hand on Ianthe's throat, scowling, and Ianthe has a hand on Harrow's arm, open-mouth smiling at her. The second picture shows the two of them standing next to each other closely, heads bent towards one another and looking at the viewer, Harrow's expression impassive and Ianthe smirking. End ID.]

“You noticed didn’t you, you horrible little Ninth goblin? Just a bit?”

[erebusbabylon]

BARKBARKBARK etc

[lapdogchase]

house s5ep23 rewatch ^__^ spoilers etc etc

"i exist." "no you dont. [...] i acknowledge my subconscious exists now go away" "saying it is one thing. living it is another" i had this exact conversation with mars from my brain on the floor of my dorm room back in march 2022

he talks to amber and wilson's like??? and he says "i told u i was hallucinating" and then wilson looks over his shoulder. What do u think hallucinating means babygirl ❤️

"ur mind made a choice it means something" ive had this conversation too.Probably also with mars. possibly.god whatwas his stupid ass long name.tupperware

CAMERONNNN

CHAAAASE

oh my god i forgot about cameron's dead husband's sperm

god i wish id had someone to talk to about it when i was going thru psychosis

its the lamictal rash obviously. or whatever the actual thing is called its not just lamictal thats just why i know about it

(guy who only knows about masks voice) finally an episode where a mask is used in a proper context !!! bc its not used to prevent transmission of an infection its used for water droplets , like how people initally thought covid was spread (bc the cdc are a bunch of little bitches)

it would be so much funnier if he wasnt hallucinating but he was still checking with wilson about everything bc theyre trying out a 24/7 dom/sub dynamic

"cameron kept her dead husbands sperm" ".........she doesnt like yours?" is literally so fucking funny this is the best show in the world

"i wanna be stuck with her forever" ☹️ i love when men love their wives

"kutner was secrelty a woman thats why he killed himself" is mwant to be a transmisogynistic joke but inthe beautiful world where transphobia isnt real kutner actually Is a beautiful woman and she lives and she starts estrogen and she's happier than she's ever been. she's the one who inspires chase to accept herself too

^THIS IS WHERE THIS GIF I MADE IS FROM. i forgor

goddd the feeling of "oh god im still psychotic" ... i remember it vividly

OH MY GOD THATS THE SONG FROM THE . FULL MUSIC NUMBER IN S7. OH MY GODDD THIS SHOW. BARKBARKBARK

and the questioning everything trying to figure out whats real and what yr actually feeling and believing

god :((

i dont know/remember if he wrnt thru withdrawals alone or if he didnt actually detox at all and had to do it twice but goddd :(

amber is clearly a persecutor this is just him communicating with an alter for the first time ever due to the stress hes under. I can system truth anyone

"im not here protecting hospital property" god they say everything in the spaces between lines dont they. shes not here protecting hospital property. shes here bc shes protecting him. because she cares about him, as a person, of her own accord

he was so greasy looking in s4 bc Mara wasnt fronting much bc he found out abt the system and it destabilized things so she had to take care of the littles on the inside. /referencing my own syschase au that ive shared one (1) thing about

god he so desperately needs to Know he needs to Know hes Loved and wanted and that hes not going to be abandoned.I COULD THROW UP. CHAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEE

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Gat any juicy ✨aPoCaLyPsE✨ aus??? (Any other are welcome too, I will eat.)

GO ALL OUT, DO IT.

Ahh!!! Ok. I dont personally have any apocalypse aus, HOWEVER!!!! I can make up headcannons for how I see things going in this hypothetical

Now the rules I personally am going to use is Zombieland and Last of Us. Im not doing slow zombie shit thats BORING!!!! Alright, here we go.

Cartman:

The first one to be bit out of the boys

Look, Zombieland rule number one right here

Tbh he thought the person who bit him escaped the looney bin

He didnt care

...until he realized his mom was turned

Fuck

So naturally he goes to Kyles

Got there last tho

Kyle let him in

Look, he may hate Cartman but he felt bad!

The turning process took 3 days after he was bit

Day one was the show of pink eye, eye crust and a slight green tint

Second day he looks worse, eyes look all hazy and he looks grener and more deshevled

Third day; yeah hes turned, foaming at the mouth

Butters went to check on him since hes the medic and it ended with Kyle killing him and Kenny getting bit

Kyle:

Didnt know the apocalypse was happening for a good while

Just knew he wasnt going to school for a while so win win

That was until they were out one day and saw a zombie themselves

Oh yeah theyre OUT!!!

Making a break for the house Kyle had to watch his parents get bit

Picked up Ike and was outie like a belly button!!!

Had to gear up on survivalist stuff

Guns, medical equipment, stuff like that

Somehow became the leader of a small group including himself, Ike, Kenny, Stan, Butters, and Cartman.

They stayed at his house until they discover Tolkien's alive

Now they on their way to his house (which has more space and food)

Either the last to be bitten or a survivor

Very distrusting of new people after the cartman incident

Or just people in general

Checks DAILY for bites

If someone's found with a bite they talk to Kyles PEW PEW

Stan:

Co leader of Kyles little resistance thing

Goes out with him on hunts or killing sprees

Found his house after his sister was turned

Not the first few bit but he def doesnt survive

Its either a self sacrifice thing or something depressing where Kyle and Stan are crying

Kyle has to leave him behind which really sucks :(

But they arent having another Cartman situation.

During the apocalypse his drinking problem gets worse

Several times where the group was thinking of just leaving him cuz hes a liability but Kyles like

"No dude hes my friend >:("

Kept Sparky around to sniff for stuff and as a general alert system

Someone at the door?

BARKBARK BARK

Someones turned?

BARKBARKBARK

Stuff like that

OOOOO Sparkys gonna be SADDD when Stan dies

Or he'll just die with him

Idk

Kenny:

Second to be bit and turned

Before that he was the rations, weapons, drinks, etc guy

Main weapon was a flame thrower

Why? Cuz its cool as hell

Def gives tallahassee from Zombieland in a survival scenario

That man will do CRAZY SHIT

God i LOVE Tallahassee!!!!

Shame Kenny got bit

They basically were like

"Yeah no"

And threw him outside.

Then Kyle and Stan became the new scavengers

Poor Kenny :(

Butters:

Both his parents turned so he was outie like a belly button

Left with more truama than he had

Ended up becomming the group medic

The boys try to do everything to keep him from turning

Their efforts are successful until they make their way to Tolkiens

Then he gets bit by a zombie cuz hes frozen in some kinda fear

Kenny returns and CHOMP

Then the groups like "FUCK" and run away

He did survive for a while so like, good on him

But his ass cant use a weapon for shit

Tweek:

It could go both ways with him

Either he dies really early

Or dies really late

But i do think hes a hermit whos gone crazy in bith scenario

He def things Craig and his friends are dead

Hes survived on eating coffee beans and no sleep

Eventually tho i think he cant take it anymore and runs for the zombie hoarde

A certain someone does save him tho and hes in a camp with a few other people

Still bonkers crazy tho

Man thinks hes in heaven

Talking for hours abt how excited he is to see Craig

Poor dude is nuts

Craig:

The one who saved Tweek

Has a resistance of his own with Dougie, Wendy, Terrance Mephesto, Bebe, Clyde, Damien, Mike and Pip (yes Pip is alive in this au. Fight me)

They have a pretty big camp, too.

Theyve essentially been glamping for half the apocalypse

Staying in the mephesto place for like, the entirety of the apocalypse

Pip informs Craig on Tweeke mental state very often (Pip is the medic and group therapist)

Craig is almost never at the base cuz hes out getting stuff

Makes sure to go out in something the zombies cant bite through too

Just in case

Leaves Stripe in Pip's care, ends up bonding with him too

"Yknow frenchie? You arent that bad"

"Uhm..im not french, but thank you!"

On a mission to find Tricia since they seperated

Least he found Tweek

Main weapon is a sniper rifle. Likes hanging out on rooftops and going zombie hunting that way.

Informs the group on the staus of the people hes seen as Zombies.

"So uh... Stan, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters turned.."

And the whole groupis just like 😨

Clyde:

If you think this man is lasting long you are a FOOL

That man would see something truamtic

Cry

And get eaten by a zombie hoarde

I dont see him contributing much to a group at all

Just staying inside cuz hes a wuss

They had to force him out

And thats when he fucking died

Jimmy:

Staying in Tolkiens house with him

Theyre pretty set on food and water

Will go out with Tolkien if they need to get stuff

Can use crutches as a close combat weapon

Trying to keep the situation light

Joking abt everything to make Tolkien feel better

More than happy to welcome the rest of the boys into their home

Survivor, yes, im biased

Tolkien:

Stayed pretty much unaffected by the apocalypse, lucky fuck

Goes out with Jimmy if they need anything

Became the new leader of the resistance

Kyles now on medic duty

Also a survivor

Makes sure weapons are all good and everything

Very good with the organization aspect of the apocalypse.

House is also very spacious

Overhears mephesto working on a cure so that keeps his morale high

Nichole is also staying with him and Jimmy, but mostly for security.

Girl can kick ass

Hope you enjoyed, anons!

[tommyssupercoolblog]

HERE ARE 55 FANFIC IDEAS/PROMPTS (some detailed, some not) that i wrote down in google docs to make septicinnit fics for but never did actually made full fics of; some are short one sentence ideas and others are full plots!!!

I posted these because there was a time period where we were super hyperfixated on writing together (almost like a d&d roleplay but you're yourselves and also it's just text) as like our main bonding hobby and wrote down way too many fucking ideas- we don't rlly write like that anymore (we do other stuff when we hangout or have dates) and so most of these have been sitting in our google docs for a long time and i felt bad abt wasting them. now though!!! they won't rot away in the secret depths of google docs!!!

soulmates switch bodies, (through TIME) on a specific birthday. So, when tmy turns (age), he switches bodies with a s3án of the SAME age. Neither of them will remember the experience after, so it's their job to leave clues or enlist friends to help them track their Soulmate down. tmy's friends gather the night before his birthday and vow to figure out who his soulmate is and help him find them. (Past!s3án is very confused about all the things that have changed (tech, gay marriage being legal) and also very awkward because he's still an anxious bean.) (can you tell we wrote this one after a Your Name rewatch)

2. THEY MAKE A LONG FURBY TOGETHER!!!!! They both help design, scrap, sew and put it together by hand, and they decide on a name together, and it ends up becoming their sort of child and now they’re gay parents of a long furby (maybe they aren’t together when they decide to make it but they end up bonding over the furby and it helps them get together in a way??)

3. Coffee Shop AU where s3án is the owner and barista at T0p 0f Th3 M0rn1ng C0ff3e, which in the fic is an actual physical coffee shop. tmy becomes his first regular customer and also flirts with him over the counter a lot.

4. The five times tmy tries to hit on s3án and fails miserably (except shhh no he doesn't), and the one time he’s actually successful.

5. Sickfic again (I wrote one already) but it’s established relationship and S3án'S one who gets sick this time. Tmy is very determined to take good care of him, help walk him around the house when/if he needs it, make him soup, etc. Maybe he tries to cook but is kind of bad at it and S3án eats it anyway. Maybe tmy brushes his hair out of his face to check his temperature,,, hhhh fluff

6. tmy and s3án going to the movies and having a good time. That's it. That's the prompt.

7. s3án teaches tmy about The Wheel Of The Year and a bunch of celtic pagan traditions and stories (and some catholic ones, of course, bc he grew up in that too) and tmy EATS THAT SHIT UP bc anything remotely s3án-related is precious to him

8. Tmy finds out that there's services where you can just. Pay to go on a date with some guy (or other person), like a rental-boyfriend type thing. He’s like, “Yeah. I can go on a date with some guy to try it (being gay) out. Why not?” and while you can make requests, he decides, “fuck it, why browse the catalouge and make myself more anxious, I’ll just have them send some random guy”. Turns out, s3án works there part-time. Also turns out, he gets selected to go be tmy’s date. Oops.

9. ICE SKATING ICE SKATING ICE SKATING ICE SKATING BARKBARKBARK

10. tmy pretending to purr every time s3án shows him affection to be annoying

11. They keep fucking flirting on stream and everyone is so annoyed because they will NOT stop hitting on each other and playing it up and it’s like. “Get a fucking room ohh my god,,,”

12. S3án goes to a party with his friends and uses an ouija board, but this accidentally lets tmy into the human realm where he follows him home and haunts him!!!! Does silly shit like moving magnets on the fridge to spell penis or drinking all the milk or going just solid enough to throw a pillow at him and then becoming un-physical again so he can’t retaliate. (the pranks and haunting are actually just bc he thinks S3án is cute tho. And S3án ends up warming up to it.)

13. s3án is TRYING to make cookies but tmy keeps attempting to steal batter from the bowl, and it escalates into a food fight for the history books (ofc they have to clean up after)

14. MAKING 👏 PLAYLISTS👏 FOR 👏 EACH 👏 OTHER 👏👏

15. tmy’s anxiety gets out of hand and he starts overworking himself. s3án’s been there (I mean, he used to upload every day for christ’s sake) and so he does his best to help.

16. s3án is crushing on tmy and gets pretty upset about tmy flirting with…. every guy ever on twitter (and also on stream) but tries to hide it. tmy realizes he's jealous/pining and confronts him about his feelings.

17. Animal Hybrid Au where tmy's like. A Feral cat (or smthn like that. Maybe a vulture instead?) and keeps bringing s3án (human or more domestic animal) dead things and at first s3án’s very put off by it but he warms up to it over time

18. tmy wants to do a storytime vlog of his first kiss but realizes he's technically never kissed anyone on the lips, so tries to convince s3án to kiss him (on camera) for the clout. 

19. s3án gets into an argument with someone who's saying mean shit about tmy, and they turn to insulting s3án instead (maybe even making threats). It is at this point that tmy conveniently stumbles upon the conversation and immediately tries to THROW HANDS

20. tmy going to a party, having a hangover, and then s3án caring for him and helping him get better.

21. s3án helping tmy when he wants to try painting his nails for the first time <<<3

22. tmy tries to be flirty/romantic to s3án in Irish bc. He’s irish. But conveniently forgets that even IN ireland everyone speaks english because the language is basically dead. s3án is. Confused. And only gets like half of the words

23. tmy being emberassed abt how he hordes things and s3án showing tmy his own little weird quirks so he feels better

24. They’re both autistic and adhd - tmy has internalized ableism like younger s3án did and s3án helps him slowly realize it’s ok that he needs extra help and stuff for things.

25. Another autism one- tmy helping s3án through a sensory overload!!!

26. ANOTHER another autism one- s3án slowly piecing together some of why tmy does stuff he does, like learning he likes routines and sameness and figuring out he genuine;y cant tell when someone is annoyed with him (cough cough… mr b34st hates me video…) and helps him out, supports him, just accommodates him and tries to explain to other ppl when they don’t get it. Also sees himself in some of these things to a lesser extent and ends up figuring out they’re both autistic as hell

27. They start flirting and calling each other their boyfriends as a bit and then uh oh! It's not a bit anymore !!!! because they’re literally cuddling wearing each others clothes and everyone just reads it as actually being gay and because the jokes aren’t really jokes anymore the flirting is beginning to hit different

28. (Based on the Time Source!tmy had a beard for like. A bit) s3án hyping tmy up when he grows a beard bc tmy's so happy with it and s3án wants to support his weird fashion choice

29. Snowed in :0000 ??!!!!! SNOWED IN???? And eventually the heater breaks and they have to huddle for warmth????

30. Since tmy can sing and play piano, he decides to give s3án a little private concert to subtly (or well, not that subtly) reveal his feelings and. It’s very cute

31. s3án kisses tmy at a con when they think no one's looking, but the next morning it's all over the internet. s3án is definitely terrified but tmy is feeling even worse, so he comforts him and they take care of each other, staying in the hotel to wait for things to blow over and trying not to go outside

32. Fic where tmy speaks a fluent second language, and a mutual friend of him and s3án speaks the same language- unknown to tmy. This friend hears tmy confess in this language and now has to cover for him, KNOWING he has a crush on s3án. This gets worse when they are out shopping and s3án, talking in korean w a cashier who speaks it, shyly admits to the cashier that he’s buying something for a crush, ALSO NOT KNOWING that this friend speaks THAT LANGUAGE TOO, before handing it over to tmy as a gift a few minutes after they leave. So NOW they have to live with the knowledge that both of these fuckers like each other, but they also don't wanna be a fucking snitch. Comedy.

33. s3án and tmy are chilling when Uh Oh, Religious Trauma!!!! tmy cuddles him and comforts him until he feels better. Major angst and hurt/comfort

34. one of them goes on some sort of podcast and when the hosts mention the other he almost immediately accidentally leaks that they're together lol

35. tmy’s drawing, and for background noise, starts listening to music he knows s3án likes to try and feel closer to him. 

36. s3án and tmy TRY to watch a Generic Seasonal Movie ™ (Christmas or Halloween) On Netflix to try and get into the spirit, but they’re too hyperactive to pay attention and so they give up halfway through and go out to get fast food.

37. They're talking to a third party when s3án slips in conversation and calls tmy “his” tmy. tmy is ELATED

38. AQUARIUM DATE *foams at mouth*

39. tmy gets kinda nervous that no one takes him seriously bc of how extra™️ and loud and hyper he is and also because he likes pretty childish stuff and s3án helps out and it's pog

40. :00 showering together /nsx

41. Soulmate AU where the first time your soulmate kisses you (anywhere), it leaves colors on your skin for a bit

42. Obligatory beach episode; s3án is shirtless and tmy is GAY or vice versa

43. s3án helping tmy through a thunderstorm (bc those are scary as FUCK)

44. S3án trying to teach tmy how to play 3ld3n R1ng or D4rk S0uls and tmy is...bad at it

45. Delirious giggly all nighter softness. Maybe w snacks??? They’re so eepy and sleepy,,,,, they’re so uwu,,,,,

46. Meeting!! tmy’s!!! Parents!!! s3án already met them at tmy’s show but now he’s meeting them as tmy’s BOYFRIEND and he’s lowkey nervous as hell

47. s3án realizes he likes tmy, and because he’s a hopeless romantic he starts listening to embarrassingly cutesy generic love songs about it. That's it that's the prompt I just think it's funny to imagine Jck S3ptic Eye, heavy metal fan, listening to 3d Sh3eran or even kpop like Twic3 or some other cutesy kpop group LMAOOOOO. His headphones unplug on accident or some shit and it's T4yl0r Sw1ft’s “You Belong With Me” and he's cripplingly embarrassed. like. It's so funny to me.

48. tmy1nn1t starts sleeping with a jcks3pt1c3ye stuffed animal (like the t0tm coffee one) and tries to keep it a secret because he's emberassed, but he goes over to s3án's house and s3án forgets to his his own tmy1NN1T stuffed animal, which tmy sees very obviously in his bed next to his pillow when he comes over.

49. In which people's hearts/feelings can manifest physically if they ignore and repress them enough, so tmy gets stuck trying to wrangle another, tinier little nonverbal chibi tmy (like three to four inches tall) that is extremely obvious abt his feelings for s3án and VERY intent about getting his attention. One day, s3án comes over and tmy locks the smaller tmy in a drawer, but this mini tmy manages to escape, hitching a ride in s3án’s bag so he can be with him and follow him around. When tmy realizes what's happened, he's HORRIFIED and tries to figure out where s3án's going/been to try and get the his heart back before s3án figures it out, and of course at the same time s3án ends up slowly realizing he has a little hitchhiker and taking care of him. He thinks the little tmy is very cute and is endeared by him, and also figures out he has a crush because tiny tmy is the opposite of subtle and very obvious on purpose (kissing him where he can reach and stuff, begging for attention by whining like a puppy and making happy little noises when it is RECEIVED) By the time tmy catches up with him his little self is like. Hugging s3án’s hand/finger all affectionate and squeaking happily while s3án, petting the little guy, looks up to the actual tmy and is like. “i assume this is yours lol?”

50. S3án realizing he likes tmmy and then being really shy around him after and kind of caught off guard/embarrassed by it. That being said he cannot get it together and stop acting like a nervous little kid w a crush, he’s so shy and flustered and it's so painfully obvious how he feels that he’s kicking himself. Thankfully Tmy is immune to social cues so it’s only obvious to literally everyone else. Tmy is harem protagonist levels of dense to the point s3án would think it was on purpose if he didn’t know him well enough to know he is just Like That- and he only puts it together when he is told DIRECTLY and CLEARLY that s3án likes him, where upon he is super starstruck and confused (really??? For real??? U like me??? ME???? omg???) like it hasn’t been on a billboard in bold letters for months. (this is a very autistic prompt. Autism wins)

51. Classic “truth or dare kiss and whoopsies i liked it too much” but the twist?? It’s drunk and on a livestream so they have to have the internal panic afterwords live and mask it despite being too drunk to do it well at all

52. Secret admirer trope,,,,, woah,,,,,,

53. You get a specific task you have to complete to reveal who your soulmate is. Tmy's task is to fold a thousand paper cranes. He enlists s3án for help, they hang out and bond and have a fun time, and S3án is his soulmate yippee!!! (S3án couldn't complete his own task when he got it for whatever reason, so he is also surprised)

54. DOUBLE LIFE AU. DOUBLE LIFE AU. LOOK ME DEAD IN THE FUCKING EYES. DOUBLE LIFE AU

55. S3án is a shapeshifter/changeling and Tmmy is a bard type magic user who finds out about this mysterious shapeshifter a few towns over and is VERY intrigued and then he meets him and he's not only a shapeshifter but also this silly loud guy who's honestly very weird and pretty and tmy is like. "I am going to seduce this funky little magic creature if it litterally fucking kills me".

[redorich]

who’s branzy the milf of

[palepalemoon]

I’ve been working on this playlist for a little bit now

if u had a middle/high school emo phase and feel like tending to that part of u, listen here (:<

[darthwheezely]

nsfw alphabet - g.w.

a/n: dni 18+ you better not even think about it smols because i will be checking for ages :)) anyways y’all know the drill i’m a whore woop woop

here we GO:

a - aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

he is the most caring man, i swear to god. this boy will carry you to the bathtub, wash you off, wash your hair, do your skin

b - body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

this man loves his arms. would toss a bitch up if someone says shit about his arms. pls worship them for me i’m begging-

c - cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he actually doesn’t enjoy finishing on your body as much as it’s shooting a hot load inside you or filling your throat to the brim. yeah. that’s it for him <3 your ass too though if he really thought about it

d - dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he gets very turned on by you when you’re on your period. the idea of you just constantly being warm and soft and horny and dumb for his commands makes him a bIT UNHINGED. but it’s mostly for when you bleed through your pants and you get SUPER EMBARRASSED. he has a massive humiliation kink. just a kinky mans.

e - experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

this man has been with every organism that resembles human on this planet like as long as you can utter a safe word, this man gonna take care of you <3

f - favorite position

69 or doggy 100%. but this man does and will do anything once and whatever will make you happy

g - goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’s casually goofy. like lazy goofy. like we’re talking you riding him with his hands behind his head and this lazy smile on his face. how fucking sexy

h - hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

VERY soft and VERY well groomed. the carpet does in fact match the drapes hOWEVER,,,he will switch it up and dye his pubes like blue sometimes. for shock value yk.

i - intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

the most intimate fucking man on the pLANET BARKBARKBARK he just. candles. flowers. the whole damn circus. but also: if he just wants a rough fuck he’ll make it vERY CLEAR TO YOU

j - jack off (masturbation headcanon)

this man has a nice healthy relationship with jacking off. not a shit ton like Fred, but he usually does it when he’s ANGRY and he has nothing to fuck. he just growls and fucks his fist until he creams everywhere xoxo

k - kink (one or more of their kinks)

breeding, sleeping beauty, BDSM, DDLG, blood, sadism/masochism

l - location (favorite places to do the do)

bed is his first choice but he also really loves fucking on carpets. he loves getting those sexy ass rug burns that proven

m - motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

listen, anything gets him going - but when a person is MAD AT HIM?! oh good LOOOORD. like he gets this smug little smirk on his face as he watches you go off on him and all he can do is think about pounding the rage out of your system

n - no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

george loves to see you cry and get over stimulated, but a hard no for him is if you start to push him away or mumble the word no in any way

o - oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

you’d think he was an 100% giver, but it’s definitely 50/50. giving is his forte but he does like to lay back and push a damn head or two when he’s able :))

p - pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

george is that healthy, lazy, medium between too fast and love makingly slow. he usually hovers on the faster side of life, but if it’s extra intimate and time for making some lovin fresh, he will accommodate to that and go slower

q - quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

is there a saint quickie because if so he worships them day and night, this man will die on a HILL for quickies (these weasley men I tell ya smh)

r - risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

maybe it’s the exhibitionist in him but boy oh boy does he love risk. he loves the adrenaline rush and the fear in your eyes of “Georgie, we could get caught,” or “Georgie, ‘m scared” it’s all the more arousing to this man

s - stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

this man is solar powered i swear to god, he just goes on and on and on and on. them rounds be l o n g

t - toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he and fred are toy makers, babes, WHAT DO YOU THINK

u - unfair (how much they like to tease)

the way i like to explain it is that sex with fred sends you to the hospital, sex with george sends you to psychotherapy. so. take that as you will.

v - volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not as loud as fred, he makes a lot of noise, but it’s usually very low and gravelly and grunts a L O T

w - wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he is a dom leaning switch, like fred, but the difference between the two is that george is MUCH more subby than his twin, and getting him in that headspace is pretty damn easy when he’s feeling whiny.

x - x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

11.7, like Fred, but a bit more curve to him to fit allllll those lovely nooks and crannies of your body :)). also smooth as hell like his skin is just soft and lovely just CHEFS KISS ALL AROUND XXX

y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

george weasley constantly is in mating season, i do not know how else to tell y’all

z - zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

okay not to be creepy or a la edward cullen but after you pass out, he’s usually awake and brushing your forehead and eyebrows to help you fall asleep. he’s not like Fred where fred gets manic after a single round, he tends to be pretty calm after one, but, like Fred after about six or seven rounds, he will pass out pretty hard after

[twinkubus]

WOW

i just remembered my emergency inhaler has a side effect of rapid heartbeat + in certain cases nausea, shortness of breath, etc WHICH PROBABLY WAS WHAT WAS HAPPENING in july 2020 when i had some respiratory illness and was taking my inhaler a bunch and had a lingering rapid heartbeat!!!!! and NO ONE knew what was up i went to a follow up appt after i had gone to the emergency room and the doctor was soooo condescending she was like “it’s anxiety...ur having an episode honey” even tho it OBVIOUSLY wasn’t that grrr barkbarkbark

[muzanswifey]

To continue with Sanemi ideas. Kanae makes me think Sanemi would also have a thing for like really sweet / innocent girls. Like he would slowly become obsessed with the idea of corrupting them. Initially it would just start off with getting them to cuss, be a little rougher when people were rude etc. But then it would progress to the idea of him getting her obsessed with sex…specifically with him lmfao. It gets to the point where he simply can’t stand being in the same room with her if he isn’t gonna fuck her cause he really can’t even hold a normal conversation without his dick twitching 🤨 (again down bad bro-)

The plot twist tho. Is that the reader is aware of how turned on he gets when she acts super innocent and unaware. So she just purposely keeps doing it until he cracks :D

STOP THIS IS A FUCKING AMAZING IDEA

AND WITH SOMEONE INNOCENT LIKE KANAE?!??!?!??!!??! BARKBARKBARK

[pseudopoodle]

Alright. Okay. So Sadie is The Most embarrassing dog in the world. I adopted her from a family with a bunch of kids who couldn’t give her attention. I brought her to visit them maybe a month or two after adopting her and one of the kids came to say hi with a corn dog. Sadie quickly proceeded to grab it, gently pull it off the stick (still held in the kids hand) and eat it. Everyone present was speechless LMAO

She has gotten a bit incontinent (or lazy) in her old age and likes to squat and leave a massive lake of piss on the sidewalk or parking lot of the apartment if she doesn’t wanna make it to the grass. Sometimes she leaves a trail of turds if she’s feeling especially Spicy™️ One time she decided to go all the way and just piss in the hallway waiting for the elevator when my partner was taking her down. Partner proceeded to come back in, get cleaner and paper towels and Sadie decided to poop while she waited impatiently. She’s honestly a monster.

Sadie loves attention and loves to vocalize how she feels. She will gladly solicit and accept pets, talking, etc from people in the apartment hallway or elevator. Problem is, when they walk away she does the loudest possible BARKBARKBARK and scares the pants off people and loses friends as soon as she makes them 🤦🏻‍♂️

Tell me stories of embarrassing things your pets have done!