#barely but like he's still There technically
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Pathetic
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Pairing | Stepbro!Neil Lewis x reader
Summary | Your stepbrother is weird and annoying, but you’ve found a way to make good use of him.
Warnings | Smut, dub con? but like not really, incest technically, dry humping, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, he’s very pathetic, and subby, reader is very mean.
Words | 1.2 k
Notes | Idk in my head they’re both in college but still living at home lol. Also once again, I can’t think of a title😭
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
Kinktober | day 17: degradation
You thought your step brother was super weird and honestly a little annoying… but there were some redeeming qualities. He’ll pretty much do whatever you say— he’s only a few months younger, but he acts like it. Even though he’s taller and probably stronger, you can still boss him around like an older sister should. Then there was… his other useful quality.
“You’re such a fucking pervert.” You spat, almost disgusted, and he whined behind you as his hips sped up. You were currently on your hands and knees on his bed, wearing just a shirt and panties. Neil was behind you, holding your hips still so he could dry hump you with his clothed dick in the cleft of your ass, over your underwear. “This is what gets you off? Humping your sister like a dog?” You snickered.
“Oh god…” He moaned, rutting against you harder and faster. “Fuck, I- I’m gonna come.” He whimpered and you barked out a laugh.
“Already?” His whines got louder and louder until his hips stilled a little and he was moaning and whimpering instead. You could feel his come soaking through both pairs of underwear and his cock twitching as it stayed pressed between your cheeks. “That’s all it takes? You just rub your dick on something and come in less than five minutes?”
“Stop..” He whined pathetically.
“Get off me.” You huffed, leaning up to push him down on the bed. You got him on his back, then straddled his hips and began grinding on him again, this time with your cunt.
“Wait- wait,” He choked out, grabbing your hips. He let out a pained whine at the overstimulation, only encouraging you.
“Don’t be such a baby.” You started grinding down on him harder, mostly to make it hurt more for him, but also to finally get yourself close to the edge.
“Please stop..” He threw his head back and squeezed his eyes shut, barely coping with the overstimulation.
“God- do you ever shut up?” You groaned, leaning over him to put a hand over his mouth. The new angle was stimulating your clit even more, making you curse under your breath.
He sobbed out a moan behind your hand and looked up at you with glossy eyes, his brows scrunched together in pain. Pink dusted his cheeks and you couldn’t help but enjoy the sight.
He’s never looked more pathetic.
“Y’know, if you actually knew how to make a girl come, I wouldn’t have to do this.” You said bitterly, making him whine. “Of course I had to get stuck with a fucking virgin for a step brother. Maybe I’ll go find one of your friends— see if they have better stamina than a fucking teenager.” His hips bucked under yours, making you smirk a little.
“Oh, do you like that?” You sneered. “Is that what you are, a cuck? Should I let you watch your friends do a better job than you ever could?” In response, he whimpered and shook his head.
“You’re so fucking useless. This isn’t even worth it— I’m just going to get off by myself.” You started to lean up and when he reached out for you in a panic, you slapped his hands away.
“No! I- I’m sorry. I can help.”
“Can you?” You scoffed. “I don’t think your pathetic excuse for a cock will help me very much.”
“My— my mouth..” You huffed, but laid down on your back, making him frown when your come soaked underwear got on his sheets.
“Get to it then.” You snapped, bringing him into motion. He laid down between your legs and wrapped his arms under your thighs, then pulled your underwear to the side. He started with slow kisses and licks, quickly testing your patience. “Why am I coming like this and not with my vibrator?” You asked sarcastically, egging him on. Which got him to start moving more enthusiastically, sucking on your clit and slurping up your arousal.
“God, you even eat pussy like a fucking virgin.” You muttered, sounding almost bored. He whined against you, sucking on your clit even harder and occassionally fucking his tongue inside you.
You waited for him to bring you to the edge, but it was taking a while, so you decided to grab your phone and watch something to help you get there. The movement of you picking up the device caught his attention and he looked up at you without removing his mouth from your pussy. When moans started playing through the speaker, he immediately frowned and his ministrations faltered.
“I let you come. Do the same for me or I’ll tell your mom about how much of a pervert her ‘precious baby boy’ is.” You snapped. He stared at you with slightly wide eyes, then reluctantly put his attention back on your cunt.
The porn was definitely helping, as was knowing how degraded he probably felt. After a few minutes, he pulled back and you looked down at him, raising your brows.
“My tongue is getting sore.” He explained with a pout, making you scoff.
“You’re the one who begged to eat me out. Stop fucking complaining.” Using your free hand, you grabbed his hair and yanked his head back down, burying his face in your pussy. You held him in place like that for a few minutes, but when you started nearing the edge, you put his head in a leg lock, keeping his mouth pressed firmly against your cunt, giving him no other choice but to make you come.
When you finally fell over the edge, you squeezed his head with your leg even tighter and your back arched off the bed. He was moaning against you and humping the bed, apparently enjoying your orgasm almost as much as you.
After the pleasure faded, you let out a heavy breath and sagged back onto the bed, closing your eyes. Neil let out a soft sound against your pussy, so you sighed, but let your leg fall back down onto the bed, allowing him to pull off. The bottom half of his face was completely covered in his spit and your arousal, and he panted heavily for a few seconds as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.
“Can I please come again?” He asked timidly, waiting until you had mostly recovered from your orgasm to ask.
You looked down at him, then rolled your eyes and reached for your phone again. “Whatever. Hump my leg I guess.” He whined quietly, but straddled your thigh and started rutting against you while you scrolled through your phone, waiting impatiently for him to finish.
Soon enough, his breathing was starting to pick up and his hips were moving more desperately as he neared the edge. “Fuck.. I’m gonna come.” He choked out, humping you frantically. When the front door slammed shut though, both of you froze.
“Can you help bring in the groceries?” His mom called out from downstairs.
“Be right there!” You yelled back, then sat up, making him whine loudly.
“No- please.. I’m so close.”
“Not my problem, loser. Get off.” You spat, pushing him off your leg onto the bed. You stood up, but paused when you heard quiet whimpering. More come was leaking from his underwear and he quickly reached down to try and salvage the rest of his ruined orgasm. You watched him stroke his erection through the fabric, getting his come all over his hands and crotch, making an even bigger mess.
“You’re so fucking gross.” You scoffed, making him whine pathetically. Before leaving, you picked up his shirt from the floor and wiped the rest of his come from your ass, then put your shorts back on and walked out.
#neil lewis smut#neil lewis x reader#neil lewis#Neil lewis x reader smut#cillian murphy#kinktober 2024#kinktober
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backwash III | daisuke
author's note: thank you to literally everyone who’s reading this! you guys are so so sweet and i love you all <3 if you want to be part of a taglist for future updates feel free to reply or dm me!! (cover image credit)
summary: (daisuke x f!reader) Sleep is increasingly hard to find on the Tulpar. At night the reader spends her time in the cockpit, thinking about home. When she feels the whim to sleep, she ventures back to the sleeping quarters, only to bump into Daisuke. Instead, she joins him for a midnight snack and some conversation in the lounge.
word count: 2,372
warnings: no trigger warnings! all characters are 18+
now playing: Dave Bixby - "Morning Sun"
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EMPLOYEE STATEMENT 034—
There was this movie I watched once when I was a kid, about a little girl who falls from the sky. Although I can’t remember the title of it now. I do remember that she was a part of another world, a part of something bigger. She was important. I don’t think you have us write these to talk about movies, do you? I’m sure you’d rather hear about the operations on board, or the technical difficulties, or if there’s been any damage to the cargo. You know, the “important stuff”. Everything is running smoothly so far. Is that good?
I want to be a part of something bigger one day. Hopefully this experience will help me. I’m grateful to have this opportunity.
DAY THIRTY-THREE—
Pony Express allowed a maximum of five hours of sleep to their employees on haul. During those five hours, the Tulpar was shadowed by a veil of utter stillness. A silence not too dissimilar to that of a library, or that painful pause in awkward conversation. It was too quiet, which led you to stare at the ceiling until the fatigue of work or boredom got the better of you. Even when you could fall asleep, it was far from restful. Over the past month you had gotten the worst sleep of your entire life thus far. Worse than when you lived in those co-ed dorms with unruly neighbors and argumentative hallways. Worse than those nights thunder cracked down from the darkened sky and you clutched stuffed animals in your chubby, child hands. After a certain point, you had given up on finding sleep at all.
The computer screens within the cockpit would beep on occasion, the sound barely audible over the soft plucking of guitar strings in your headphones. The coords of some old folk song filled your ears instead. You sat in the captain's chair, curling in on yourself with your knees to your chest and arms around your person. Your head snuggled into the dip in your legs, cheek pressed your knee cap as you stared at the sea of glowing green.
Curly had given you permission not too long ago to sit in the cockpit at night. Within the first month of your apprenticeship, you had grown on him quite a bit. The captain had always been a kindhearted person. He was a people pleaser to his core, a man simply happy to help. Curly saw a lot of himself in you, and he knew what it was like to feel, well, restless.
“As long as you promise not to touch anything,” he had said, prefacing his next words with a comforting smile, “you have my permission to use your clearance to the cockpit at night. But if word gets to the higher ups, they’ll have my head, understood? We wouldn’t want that, now would we?”
Normally, you tried to pay attention to how long you had been sitting there, keeping track of each song that played to count the minutes as they passed, but tonight you hadn’t. With a sigh, you reluctantly stood from Curly’s chair, deciding to give sleep another try. You slipped your Walkman into the pocket of your pajama pants and left the cockpit. Each step you took was quiet, almost imperceivable, as you walked down the hall toward the sleeping quarters. You didn’t want to disturb the others, although you had a feeling nobody else was sleeping all that well either. The rusted, trusty pipes groaned as you passed, their settling moans somehow bypassing the volume of your music. It made you feel uneasy. You reached into your pocket and turned the music up a bit in an attempt to drown out the sound.
Rounding the corner, you finally reached the door to the sleeping quarters. Just as you reached for the door handle, it slid open seemingly on its own, causing you to flinch. Standing there—holding a flashlight in one hand and with the other placed against his chest—was Daisuke, looking far more caught off guard than you felt. You winced as he shined the light directly into your eyes.
“Holy shit, dude,” he breathed, voice dropped to a raspy whisper. “You straight up scared the hell out of me. What are you doing walking around in the dark?” Daisuke adjusted his aim and shot the beam at the ceiling instead, creating enough light for the two of you to see each other a little better.
With a soft laugh, you pulled your headphones from your ears, allowing them to hang around the back of your neck. “I’m sorry. Couldn’t sleep.”
“You too?” Daisuke questioned.
“I’m surprised anyone can sleep on this thing,” you whispered. “Where are you going?”
His eyes dropped in embarrassment as he used his free hand to rub nervous circles against the side of his neck. “I’m… I’m grabbing a snack from the lounge. You wanna come?”
“Yeah, if you want me to.” You didn’t hesitate. Anything sounded better than tossing and turning. You stepped to the side, permitting him enough space to walk out of the doorway then alongside you.
Daisuke breathed a chuckle at your response. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to.”
“Then I guess I’m coming,” you said in a hushed, playful tone.
Daisuke looked at you with a smile and nodded, shining his flashlight down the hall as the two of you began to walk in silence. In the quiet of the hall, the door to the lounge seemed to open with a deafening wheeze. Deep, royal blue illuminated the large room. The night-time window screen displayed a starry sky with wisp-like clouds, bathing the room with an otherworldly glow. It reminded you of going to the aquarium as a kid, surrounded by water and the smell of saltwater. You half expected to look up and see sharks and fish swimming overhead, but you knew all there would be was a dull, blank ceiling and slumbering lights.
Daisuke stuck his head through the doorway, peeking to see if anyone was already inside. When he determined that the coast was clear—although it wouldn’t have mattered anyway considering the noise of the door, he motioned for you to follow him inside.
“Hell yeah! The place is ours,” Daisuke celebrated, speaking louder once the door closed behind you two. He walked toward the vending machines with long, intentional strides. You tread on his heels, gaze fixed on him in amusement as he looked over the different options.
You pulled your Walkman from your pocket, then leaned against the bar, palms pressed to the countertop as you pushed yourself up, and took a seat on the cool, brown laminate. “Is there normally someone else here?”
“Hmm?” He barely heard you, too fixated on what he was going to eat. As he processed what you had said, the words loading behind his eyes in a turning spiral, he ordered a pack of freeze-dried fruit and tore into the package. “Oh, nah. Not usually. I mean, I’ve seen Anya in here once or twice, but she’s always coming from medical bay. Getting coffee for those late nights, I guess.”
“She works too much,” you noted. “I wish she wouldn’t push herself like that.”
“You two seem close.” Daisuke approached, leaning against the counter beside you.
“Yeah. You could say that.” A tender smile graced your lips at the thought of you and Anya being close.
There was a pause, a brief lull in the otherwise newborn conversation. A series of crunches sounded from your right where Daisuke stood as he popped piece after piece into his mouth. You glanced over at him, the tenderness of your smile warping into something more entertained. He glanced over at you in turn, his mouth full of apple as he mustered a lopsided smile.
“Hey, it’s your Walkman,” he exclaimed after a swallow, pointing at the dated tech in your lap. “Whatcha listening to?”
“Oh,” you peeped with a suddenly flustered look on your face. “It’s a mix my mom made for me. Just a bunch of old folk stuff she used to play for me when I was little.”
“Can I listen?” he asked, shoving another piece of fruit in his mouth.
“S-Sure, yeah.” You unplugged your headphones and played the tape. It crackled, the old speaker not what it used to be. Or what it ever was, truthfully.
Maybe the quality of the sound would have bothered somebody else, but not Daisuke. As your small corner of the lounge filled with the sound of guitar—the stories of rural towns, first loves, and early mornings, Daisuke set his snack on the counter and listened intently. It was far from what he’d normally like, but something about listening to it here, with you made it sound perfect.
“It’s funny, actually. I never used to like this stuff back on Earth, but lately this is the only one I want to listen to,” you said over the music.
“You must really miss her.” Daisuke inched closer, standing less than a foot away from you as he leaned against the counter. His gaze flickered up to your face, quietly admiring the curves and arches of your profile. Under the blue light of the night time window screen, any blemish or imperfection on your face seemed to vanish. Not that he had ever noticed any imperfections on you. Matter of fact, for some reason, he couldn’t imagine seeing any part of you as imperfect. Even if he tried. There was a somber look in your expression as he spoke, one that made his stomach twist in knots.
“So much. I didn’t think it would be this hard being away from home.” Your voice was just above a whisper now. You felt your eyes begin to burn, the familiar sensation of tears welling in the corners as you tried to suppress the ebbing flow. With the shake of your head, you let out a quick laugh, feeling the tension gradually lifted from your shoulders. “What kind of music do you like?”
Daisuke didn’t blink or care about the change in discussion. He didn’t care about what the two of you talked about, and he wasn’t going to pry either. He knew that you would open when you felt comfortable enough to do so, and he was happy to wait however long that would take.
“A bit of everything, I guess. It kinda pisses me off when people say that and, like, they don’t actually mean it.” He slid his snack off of the bar and extended it to you, shaking it as the pieces inside rattled against each other. “I have a pretty impressive vinyl collection back home. Got everything from Etta James to Duster. You should see it sometime.”
Weakly, you smiled and took a piece of the fruit from the package. “Maybe when all of this is said and done. After the haul?”
“I’d love that,” Daisuke responded quickly, eyes trailing over your face. After another moment of silence, a brief break in conversation, he shifted on his heels and looked away. “So, you uh… you got anyone waiting for you back home? Y’know, like friends? A boyfriend? Or uh, a girlfriend? If you, like, swing that way or whatever. Which would be totally cool, obviously. I’ve got a bunch of gay friends-”
“Daisuke,” you said with a hint of that ever familiar amusement in your voice. “Relax, okay?”
He looked back at you and nodded. “Right, yeah… So, do you?”
“Friends? Yeah, a bunch. I miss them too. But a partner, not so much…” You felt your cheeks light up, a soft pink flush dusting the peaks of your cheekbones and the ridge of your nose.
“Hey, that’s cool,” he responded, bumping shoulders with you and trying not to sound too happy about your response. “Me neither. I mean, like I said, I’ve got loads of friends. Just not the whole girlfriend boyfriend thing.”
“Look at us,” you mused. “One in the same.”
“Yup, one in the same.” Daisuke glanced back at you hopefully, then looked away. He downed the rest of his dried fruit and crumpled up the package, tossing it in the direction of a nearby trashcan and missing by a couple feet. He winced, feeling a tinge of embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“You gonna go get that?” you asked jokingly, pushed yourself from the countertop, and landed on your feet, securely tucking your Walkman back into your pocket as the music stopped.
“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes and walked toward the trash before picking it up and disposing of it properly. “It’s on the way out anyway. In fact, I meant to do that.”
You trailed after him, following close behind as the two of you approached the exit to the lounge. “Totally,” you teased, smiling up at him.
Yet again, the door slid open with that deafening screech as Daisuke and you left the lounge. Together, you walked back to the sleeping quarters. At the door, Daisuke turned to you and stopped. His brown eyes trailed over your features once more in the darkness, illuminated only by the light of the flashlight in his hands. Even in the blackness of the hallway, his smile was bright. His gap-toothed grin seemed almost bright enough to flood the entire hallway with light.
“Thanks for coming with me,” he spoke quietly.
“Thank you for inviting me,” you responded.
Daisuke opened his mouth as if to speak, but the words he wanted to say seemed caught in his throat. Instead, he just nodded and displayed that same smile. Your brows furrowed questioningly, an expression that made his heart skip a bit. Before you could say anything, he opened the door to the sleeping quarters and ushered you inside.
“Goodnight, [Name]. See ya in the morning.” He bit his lip, walking backward toward his room and nearly stumbling when he reached the door.
“Sweet dreams, Daisuke.”
With that, you slipped into your room with a strange feeling in your chest. A tightness you hadn’t felt since high school, since hallway crushes and etching names into wooden picnic tables. An ache at the loss of his presence. How strange.
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pookies (taglist): @xcryptk33p3rx @freakyydaisukee @sanctuaryofsmartiess @st4rrysblog @academiq @c4t-n1pp @iiveraii
#reader#x reader#reader insert#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x reader#daisuke x reader#daisuke#fem reader#curly mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing
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I’m about halfway through season three, and I’d just like to take a moment and look at how losing Rose has changed the Doctor.
First the obvious things: he’s more serious. During his time with Rose, he was mostly cheerful, funny, and generally quite positive. There were a few darker moments, but for the most part he had a pretty sunny personality, especially when he was with Rose. In season three, while he still tries to maintain his happy personality, he occasionally slips into melancholy and his cheerfulness often feels like a bit of a facade. This isn’t to say that there aren’t moments when he’s genuinely happy, but they seem to be far less frequent than the durst two seasons. He smiles less. He doesn’t have as many quips. He’s barely laughed at all. But that’s to be expected. He just lost someone he loved; it makes sense for him to be more withdrawn and sad.
The thing that struck me the most was how reckless he’s become. He’s always been a bit reckless, but he’s also tried to avoid things that will most likely kill him. He might be constantly getting himself into very dangerous situations, but he (almost) always thinks of some way to not die. (I think it’s because he knows that if he dies the Time Lords die with him, but that’s a different post.) In season three, he’s practically suicidal. So far, he’s allowed himself to come dangerously close to death at least five times, some seemingly without expecting to survive.
First was in episode one, when he let the Plasmavore drink his blood so she wouldn’t register as human on the scanner. He had no companion at the time, so he couldn’t have expected anyone to come for him. Even if someone had found him, they would have needed to do a blood transfusion, and since he’s not human it’s unlikely that human blood would save him. (I’m actually not sure how he survived that. Martha gave him CPR, but that didn’t fix the blood loss issue.) Even knowing all of that, he still allowed the Plasmavore to drain his blood without hesitation. He technically could have regenerated, but that didn’t seem to be part of his plan. I’m still not quite sure how regeneration works, but I’m pretty sure he has to be conscious for it to happen, and he was definitely unconscious when Martha found him.
The second time was when the Carrionite did he voodoo doll thing. This is admittedly a weaker example, since he does have two hearts, but I’m not entirely convince that he knew he’s be able to restart his other heart. He can clearly survive with just one heart (at least for a little bit,) but it significantly weakened him and it’s unclear how long he would have survived it. Had he been unable to get both hearts working, he probably would have died later when his remaining heart gave out under the strain, or been finished off later by the Carrionites and unable to defend himself. And yet he seems remarkably unconcerned, even when he realizes what she going to do. This isn’t to say that he wasn’t worried, but maybe not as worried as he should have been.
Third is when he willingly offers himself up to the Daleks, fully expecting them to kill him. This is one of the best examples, because he is 100% convinced that they are going to kill him. He’s so convinced that it actually comes as a shock when they decide not to kill him on the spot. Sacrificing himself makes sense in this situation, but it was a bit shocking how fast he agreed. I had expected to frantically try to come up with a plan, or at least to try fighting, before he decided to sacrifice himself. I certainly hadn’t expected him to straight up tell them to kill him.
Fourth was when he put himself in the direct path of a lightning strike/gamma ray burst on the off chance that some of his DNA would get transferred. Again this is an excellent example because not only did he put himself in its path, he actually held onto a lightning rod and wouldn’t let go for the duration of the gamma ray burst. There’s also the small fact that said lightning rod was on the top of the Empire State Building, and if the lighting and radiation hadn’t killed him a fall probably could’ve. That is literally the definition of suicidal.
The fifth and (so far) final time was when he, once again, sacrificed himself to the Daleks and demanded they kill him. Yes he knew that the Dalek-humans had some Time Lord DNA in them, but he still couldn’t be sure it would be enough. If you still don’t believe that he’s suicidal, I think seeing him stand in a room full of people with lasers/guns and telling them all to kill him should convince you. If even that doesn’t work, then you should consider the fact that the last three all happen in the same episode.
Let it never be said that losing Rose didn’t affect the Doctor.
#doctor who#rose tyler#martha jones#dr who#the tenth doctor#tenrose#timepetals#doctorrose#dr who season three#10th doctor#the doctor#doctor who s3#daleks in manhattan
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The first time Jane's not drunk enough to pass it off as a mistake. It's early into their friendship; Maura still asks for Jane's sweats instead of digging them out of a drawer. She's wearing them, her hair still wet from the shower. It's been a rough day, a gross day, one that requires multiple showers. Maura looks sad so Jane hugs her the way she'd hug anyone who'd had stomach liquid land in their hair.
Maura holds her close. Maura is awkward to hug; she stiffens but doesn't pull away. She waits to make sure Jane's not making some sort of mistake, and then she pushes forward too hard, her breath all raggedy like she's trying not to cry, her hands holding Jane too hard, as though Jane will push her away if she lets go too soon, like she's scared it's not real - like she's scared Jane's not real.
And that night, the first time, Maura's wet hair against Jane's chin, her hands finally learning how to relax on Jane's body so she doesn't leave her bruised, Jane feels Maura's pelvis press against her. It's not on purpose, but Jane's breath catches and she pushes back and Maura's breath comes all thin and thready, the warmth of her against Jane's thigh promising worlds Jane can't even imagine and then they're dry humping up against Jane's ancient refrigerator that came with her apartment and Jane comes with Maura with an irritated hum from the overworked appliance, gasping for breath.
Jane has only had two beers. She glances at them wistfully, looking for an excuse, then looks down to Maura's flushed, embarassed face.
Maura's her best friend. Maura's the best friend she's ever had.
"It's okay," Jane says when she can talk, and she feels Maura relax against her. They're still hugging. "It's been a long day. We're probably just frustrated."
They haven't kissed. That would make it something it's not.
+++
The next time Jane is too drunk. Maura finds her between her pain meds and a bottle of whiskey. Jane growls at her when she takes both bottles. Maura sits and pulls Jane against her, holding her. There is a bucket discreetly placed on the floor next to the couch.
"You're poisoning yourself."
"I put you in danger," Jane finally confesses. It's been weighing on her so long.
"You saved my life. Mine and Frankie's too."
"I should have known he was dirty. He should have never gotten near you." Jane's voice is low and raspy and she feels Maura's stomach clench as she speaks. She pulls away to look down at Maura. "I failed you."
Maura's crying. Jane touches her cheek and licks at the moisture on her fingers. She's dehydrated, and she lets Maura hold water to her mouth, lets Maura wipe her lips clear.
"You have never failed me."
Jane wants to kiss her, but they're not like that. She pushes herself on top of Maura and grinds down against her, gasping when Maura's pelvis rises to meet her, watching Maura's face beneath her. She brushes hair and tears away from Maura's face, with her fingers, with her lips.
Maura comes first, gloriously hard against Jane, arching up into her, a stifled little moan that sounds like Jane's name. It's enough to push Jane over the precipice she's been hovering over too long, and she joins Maura in pleasure, noting she's pushed Maura's dress up, her scarred palms brushing over Maura's bare thighs.
Jane collapses atop Maura, too tired and content to move.
"You have never failed me," Maura says again, and Jane feels those soft, strong fingers brushing through her messy hair, feels them on her back as Maura holds her tight enough that Jane wonders if Maura will ever let her go.
+++
The next time they're not drunk. They're at Maura's, and Jane doesn't know why she's not more freaked out about this. It's not technically sex, but it's close enough that she should be questioning herself, trying to figure out if she likes women.
Instead her hand is sliding up the hem of Maura's dress in her spare bedroom; they've avoided bedrooms so far, but here they are. Maura's hands are in Jane's shirt and she whimpers as Jane's fingers make contact with her satin underpants.
They're still not kissing because that would make it something else. Something like commitment, like Jane's heart doesn't break every time Maura has a date. This is new; Jane's never touched a woman like this before, but Maura's hips tilt and Jane can't withhold anything Maura needs. She can figure out the landmarks from here and she uses less pressure than she would for herself because she figures Maura's precious and delicate and whatever and she's right because she feels the pulse as it happens, Maura's hands holding her so tight that it's an effort to breathe, and then Maura's hand is on her, and she's never been so wet; she's almost embarrassed until Maura's eyes meet hers in awe and it's all Jane can do to keep from kissing her for being so sweet and understanding and so, so good at making Jane come.
Maura's hand cups her until she's sure Jane is done. "Sweet dreams," Maura says, and extracts herself. Jane collapses on the bed and wonders if she wants more or less from whatever they're doing.
+++
The next time they're in a shower. Jane fell into a river and Maura went in after her. They got hosed down at the precinct, but there is pond weed and an ickiness that remains. They shower together because they both need a shower and Jane's place is small. Maura touches the bullet wound on Jane's stomach and then gives Jane a knowing look as she slides her fingers lower, where the wet heat of Jane has been waiting for her touch. Jane's legs shake and she has to lean against the shower wall for balance, pulling Maura close and returning the favour. She's so wet - not from the shower, from touching Jane, and that's when Jane starts to wonder what they're doing. She's happy enough to be having mind-blowing sex with the most attractive person she's ever met, but she's not ready to talk about it. Not even with Maura.
She watches with satisfaction as Maura thrusts down against her fingers, grunts with pleasure as Maura bites down on her shoulder to muffle the noise she makes when she comes.
+++
And then Dean is in town. It's so, so awkward. Ma is pushing her. Maura is pushing her. Everyone wants her to be straight. Jane badly wants to be straight and Dean is there.
Jane doesn't even come. Doesn't even come close. She fakes it so he'll stop touching her so wrong. He falls asleep and Jane thinks of Maura's soft, gentle fingers, her fierce determination. The way she looks so pretty when Jane's inside her. Jane cries the way she should have when she put a bullet in herself to buy the woman she loved enough time to save her.
Jane cries because Maura doesn't love her, and Jane's just realised she does.
+++
Maura's mad at her. She throws Dean in her face. They bicker, but when Jane finally gets home, Maura is there.
"Your parents are in the hospital," Jane snipes, but there's no real ire left in her.
"I'm not... I'm not.... not mad. And I don't forgive you. I might never."
"Then why are you here?"
Jane knows; she can almost smell her from here. The air is thick and filled with everything left unsaid.
Maura crosses the room and shuts the door behind Jane, then slams her against it, sliding the deadbolt.
"How many?"
"What?"
"How many orgasms did he give you, Jane? What did he give you that I couldn't?"
"You told me... you chose the dress..."
"And you came when I called." Maura's anger leaves her and she slumps.
"I'll always come for you," Jane admits.
"You've never let me down," Maura agrees.
"You can shoot my dad if you want. It'll make us even."
Maura laughs bitterly and Jane wants to fix this. She takes Maura's chin in her palm and lifts Maura's face to hers. She lets her fingers stroke Maura's soft cheek as she looks into those deeply hurt hazel eyes, glittering gold with tears. She lowers her head so slowly that Maura has plenty of time to move away.
She doesn't. She meets Maura in the middle. They kiss, finally, after three years of not getting around to it. After three years of the most tender, loving sex Jane has ever had.
Maura's lips are so soft that Jane finds herself moaning into Maura's mouth. Maura grasps her like she used to; scared Jane isn't real, scared Jane doesn't mean it. Her tongue should be illegal because Jane's knees buckle when it brushes her own.
Then Maura's sharp teeth are dugging into her bottom lip and Maura pulls away, her eyes flashing angrily.
"On your knees," Maura says, and her lips are swollen from Jane kissing them and Jane drops like a rock at the order, her hands already pushing the dress up out of the way, already pulling down what remains between them. She devours Maura utterly; she's drenched and running down Jane's chin, over her lips and tongue. It's better than anything she did with Dean; Jane hasn't been touched and she is throbbing and soaked.
Maura's fingers curl in her hair and she thrusts shallowly against Jane's open mouth. Jane licks her clean, waiting patiently. Maura just retrieves her underwear and leaves without another word. Jane makes herself come quickly once the door closes, tears down her cheeks and Maura on her lips. She slumps and leans against the closed door, holding herself since nobody else will.
+++
Maura forgives Jane. She kind of has to; Jane saved her life and her leg. And Maura saved them both with the coordinates. They forgive each other but what lies between them remains fractured. They make sure they're not alone. They seek out other company.
And then Jane gets a new mattress and Maura is the only person in her life helping her.
"Can I come?" Maura asks, when Jane talks about her dream wedding. Jane rolls onto her side and looks at her. It's okay, being alone with her now. It doesn't hurt like it used to. She knows now she broke them up, knows now there's nothing she can say that will fix things.
"You always do," Jane says without thinking. Maura put her drink down and looks Jane over with a hunger Jane recognises.
"I left you hanging. I owe you one."
"It's okay," Jane says, even though it's not, even though she'd cried on the floor for well over an hour, hoping to hear Maura's footsteps outside, hoping she'd changed her mind. "I always let you down."
"You have never," Maura says, rolling onto her side to face Jane, "and I mean never let me down."
"Never even run around and hurt you."
Maura doesn't recognise the lyrics. Jane has never been able to RickRoll her because Maura never knows when she's being RickRolled.
"I was mad about Dean. But we weren't exclusive, and I was seeing people too. We never talked about it, did we?"
Jane's hands are shaking. She nods slowly, looking over at Maura. Her voice is low and sexy, and Jane loves when she speaks foreign languages. It's so hot. Maura is so hot, but she's at her hottest when she's underneath Jane.
Jane rolls on top of her so easily that Maura's already thrusting up at her. But this time Jane is leaning down and kissing her. Jane is holding her tenderly. Jane is pulling off her tank top and sliding Maura's buttons undone, she is pressing her bare skin against Maura like she's one of those animals that breathe through their skin and Maura is oxygen to her. Jane checks in with her as her hand crawls down Maura's strong abdomen.
"You know I love you?" Jane says, then shakes her head. "I mean, I do. I love you. I've missed you. I'm really, really into you."
"Not quite," Maura says, and tilts herself up against Jane's questing fingers until they slide home, Maura as always wet enough to take as much of Jane as she can. Jane's palm rubs the little circles that drive Maura wild and her fingertips brush slowly against the wet warmth of her, against the softness that makes Maura sob as she comes in Jane's arms, Jane kissing her gently, brushing her tears away holding her as she moves against Jane until she stills and pulls Jane closer. "I owe you two."
"You owe me a new mattress; we've ruined this one."
Maura chuckles, and Jane knows everything is going to be okay.
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malevolent TMA crossover where it’s MAG 195 Adrift Jon (picking up Basira in his rowboat) and then sometime between Part 7 and 9 of Malevolent either heading to the island or leaving it (post being arrested and then half-drowned and mostly died and then also being a little boat)
Idk what happens exactly but Jon is rowing and Arthur is rowing and then they see each other (well John sees Jon but you get what I mean) and idk what kind of conversation they have but Jon is probably fascinated by what these two have going on and Arthur is still learning to grow tough to the horrors (and and also just mostly died) so he really doesn’t have it in him to deal with eye avatar bullshit.
John is like. “Arthur… something about this man isn’t right… Jesus Christ Arthur his eyes!”
And Arthur is like “Hey are you actively about to drown me or hurt me?”
Jon: “uh no? Why would I do that”
Arthur: “do you work for evil eldritch gods that’s typically why people want me dead these days.”
Jon: “….well, I mean, technically,”
John: “Arthur we need to kill him!”
Arthur: “yeah so even if I wanted to do that, which I don’t, I don’t think i have the energy for that. I am barely hanging on as is. I couldn’t fight a kitten right now.”
John: “but aOrthur he’s dangerous!! He works for the King in Yellow!”
Jon: “…I can hear you. Both of you. Just so you know. Also who the fuck is—wait I just learned—okay wait WHAT—“
And then they puzzle over the liminal space between worlds that is this body of water, misunderstandings get cleared up, Arthur is very happy to talk to an Englishman (or anyone really) that doesn’t want to kill him, and Jon empathizes with Arthur still in season one of his horror podcast protag Journey and is endlessly fascinated by whatever dynamic John and Arthur have going on.
And then Jon leaves like “yeah sorry gotta go pick up a cop…friend? Cop acquaintance. Of mine. To gave backup to go to the evil house and save my boyfriend from a spider woman.”
And I mean what do Arthur and John even have to say to that? Jon doesn’t know shit about who John is or how to help them or anything bc that’s not knowledge the Eye has seen but he’s like yeah good luck and then they rowboat away.
#the magnus archives#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#john doe malevolent#jonathan sims#tma season 5#malevolent season 1#tma
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I am (not) sorry for showing this idea to the EPIC fandom,,
Timeloop A.U w/ Odysseus. Timeloop resets back to waking up to the Wind Bag opening every time Ody’ either dies or falls asleep after making it back home & after killing the Suitors bc hehe suffer short man 🤌🧍♂️.
so ye, obviously u got the usual Timeloop Angst + added trauma & all that,,,,, ye, ye, uh nu & also said Timeloop has ‘:3ly’ caused some lasting changes on Ody’ like more of his Demigod genes showing (+ added Demigod uncannyness hehehaha), scars of previous Loop wounds now appearing & staying on his body, body acclimating to have basically inhuman reflexes, strengh, all that Demigod jazz. Including: insane muscle memory.
Including the muscle memory of taking massive God Cock / Kinky Deity Stuff. Just- hear me out pls 😇
imagine, Ody’s’ currently on like, what??? The 997 Loop??? Kinda lost basically any and all previous remains of moral?, EXTREMELY FUCKING BORED- also kinda given up all hope of finding a way to break out of this living hell??? (So the usual stuff for timeloops). Now just trying to pass the now constantly resetting time??????? Has currently made it up to Thunderbringer & is feeling a bit less apathetic towards his crew plus just feels like switching things up from them dying again lol he’s very numb rn so:
decides he’s feeling for some ‘There Are Other Ways’ type activity (minus the attempted murder,,,, tho-), precedes to seduce Zeus n get whisked away to be bed, while crew is now being blown towards home, with a lot of shet 2 think about rn ggggfff but anyway & just when Zeus is smugly revealing his big ahh dick, he expects Ody’ to be wide eyed, maybe a bit horrified on “how is that suppose to fit????”, only to look down and. The mortal is just. Staring blankly (almost bored—) at his member, bc, he’s seen it before, taken it before, & at first, in those first few sexy encounter! Loops, it had been overwhelming, had felt rlly big & full inside of him,, but now???.
Ody’s’ body remembered the fullness, the stretch, the overstimulation, the ridiculous feeling of power radiating from it, matching who it belonged to hahaja- & now knew how to take it without nearly,,,,, any problem lmao.
it gets even more weird & a bit distressing 4 Zeus when he’s like “oooooookay- ehemanyways- I can still work w/ this & get the usual reactions” n starts doing the usual (to Odysseus ‘routine’) preparation n teasing. Is barely started when Ody’ silently huffs, still very bored, reaches out and grabs Zeus’s cock, lifts himself up towards the King of Gods while smoothly positioning said wiener :) to be right under his hole, & before Zeus can get a word out due to mental buffering (knew this bitch had balls but what—), he slides down onto his dick in one swift motion.
this has also happened w/ Poseidon. W/ both of them in fact, in Loops before :333333.
cue, the literal-out-of-the-Loop(s) crisis from Zeus :D🫶🫶🫶. (one of the many to be expected from everyone lolo)
,,idk I jst want feral man baffling dem Gods, & in general:
turning up the Monstertm to. 16.
(technically) cannibalising Deities :3.
looking at his whole crew dying like 😐.
trolling crew w/ Demigod uncannyness. Especially in serious situations.
using said Demigodness to fuck around, explore, be free & feral :D.
beat the shit out of Calypso.
beat the shit out of sea monsters.
doing the crouching cryptid pose, freaky yellow glowing eyes & all :3.
more murder.
other morally fucked stuff idk yet <].
#shitpost#bullshit to keep me going ♾️✨#epic zeus#epic the musical#epic fandom#epic odysseus#epic poseidon#feral behaviour mentioned#Tw nsft#tw size difference#tw implied violence#tw implied death#zeusseus#odysseus x zeus#odysseus x poseidon#odyseidon#mentioned anyway#time loop#Feral! Odysseus#Feral Odysseus#Lmao I luv pulling the Timeloop A.U on my fav characters like#Yes please do suffer & become batshit insane#tw implied sex#thunderclap#salty#would put their poly ship names but. I don’t have enough room i think#Pure crack right here ha#Odysseus in the blender (suffer :)) AKA Timeloop A.U#Also technically#manwhore au
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NICO'S EYES GO TO HER . she fits back in so easily , smile present on her face in a way that almost makes him second guess what happened . she's good at painting it on . if he wasn't looking closely enough , he may even miss the slight sadness in her eyes . otherwise , she looks exactly the same . he always forgets she's technically an actress . A REALLY GOOD ONE . the kind that can even act to herself . nico finds his way back to a corner of a room , far enough away that he can keep an eye on her without drawing too much attention to himself . he vaguely nods at another bodyguard he recognises , but he stays silent for the remainder of the night .
nico knows the time they agreed to leave . they'd spoken about it before , and he can see the energy leaving star just as the time approaches . it's only a little past midnight , but he knows her well enough to know she's tired , out socialised , and begging to go home . earlier in the night , there'd been no question about him staying over . but now , he isn't quite sure if she still wants that . HE HURT HER FEELINGS , in a way that doesn't make sense to him . silently , he makes his way to the valet and finds her car . nico loops around to the front of the building and hops out , easily helping open the door for her , eyes darting around yet again to make sure nobody is looking at them or seems suspicious , before he buckles himself back into the driver's seat .
as he pulls out of the building , he stifles a small yawn . he's off shift in half an hour and he honestly is never a huge fan of these later nights . nico is a man of routine , and exhaustion tugs at him . HE CAN'T DO HIS BEST WORK LIKE THIS . the drive is so silent that he's surprised entirely when she speaks . even more surprised that yet again it's another apology . " why are you apologising ? " nico asks , a quick glance her way before he focuses back on the road again . the car slides smoothly , streetlights casting shadows and orange lighting across star's face sporadically . they're not far from hers at least , and there's barely any traffic . it makes for an easy drive , which he uses to look at her again from the corner of his eye . " what's wrong , star ? " nico asks finally , voice soft . not accusatory , more confused . more a silent plea to understand .
it shouldn't be this easy to fall back into work mode. but with the way her chest stirs unpleasant, it's what she clings to. pulling her shoulders back stiff, biting into the inside of her cheek to stop the heave in her chest. she even practices the smile to get into the practice of it, so it looks natural yet bright. so she looks like the actress star milewski. she's almost surprised when nico overtakes her, but keeps mum. watches him carefully, eyes skimming over the back of him. tampers down that part of her that wants to touch him. even if it's just to brush fingers at his hip, or hold onto his elbow. but she can't, not when she hears the voices too close to them.
still, there's dread there when he opens the door. when she's hit by the wall of sound. has to steel herself from the desire to just leave right now. "thank you." spares him softness in her glance before she has to transform. puts on a smile the moment she steps in the event, and is immediately greeted by someone she vaguely recognizes. at the very least, it distracts her from everything else.
ultimately, star asks to leave early. not technically early, no. they're at the stipulated time the charity gala is supposed to end, but the event is still kicking. the alcohol is flowing and people are enjoying the music. but she's exhausted. doesn't want to be here any longer than needed. she's taken all the family pictures, chatted with her parents, and said bye to her brother. so, the sight of the car casts relief inside her as much as it does dread.
she settles quietly into the passenger seat, next to nico. her thoughts are racing so much that the words come out before she can stop them. "sorry . . . about just now."
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you guys ever grab your f/o’s face and just *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehea
#this was originally phrased for platonic f/os but i then proceeded to think about doing this with my boyfriends and. yeah#anyway#HEY i finally picked back up gx because i got bored lol#and because. lowkey. judai randomly popping up in my dreams spooked me enough to remember to continue watching it >_<#i am reminded of why he got instantly put on the platonic list despite me barely knowing him lol#literally just. golden retriever#which is so so funny when you look at my two other platonic f/os#like on one hand we have the serious and more mature beyond my years#and then we have the high energy positivity fiends#if i still listed my hs f/os on my list you would see more obviously what i mean lol#sometimes you just want to smother your friend in a dumb display of affection u_u#anyway.#hello#tbh… kissing melv (and technically yb) right where the eye of wedjat would go… <333#self ship#selfship#selfshipping#self shipping#f/o imagines#imagine your f/o#romantic f/o#platonic f/o#self ship community#selfshipping community#platonic: judai#quartzshipping#rainy.file
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I am in desperate need of Shisui x Maomao works. Fanart or fanfiction, don't matter. I just NEED to see these two goobers on top of each other, making out SLOPPILY.
#the apothecary diaries#kusuriya no hitorigoto#maomao#shisui#oh what have these two done to me ...#I STILL LOVE JINMAO OK but jinshi can SHARE#i still remember this one fanart of jinshi n shisui arguing over whos closer with maomao#and shisui hit him with the “well have you seen her NAKED and DRIPPING”#(technically he has but ONLY ONCE and not fully bare)#theyd argue like that. constantly.#why are we getting jinshi vs rikuson we couldve been getting jinshi vs shisui as god intended
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🗣️🗣️ pov dan and phil base their pizza selection in part 2 of their iconic mukbang video on their hatred for the detroit pizza company that almost ruined your life
#validating my trauma???#yessir#no but actually when i tell you i went into shock when they showed the picture#i recognized it immediately#of ALL the pizza places in the world tho#lmao rlly just dumping in the tags#that fucking company#was the reason i was forced to move halfway across the country during covid lockdown at the start of high school#from a big city to a small conservative snobby suburb#like completely isolated from everyone and everything i knew#stuck w my only resource being my shitty toxic ass family#that’s in nice terms lmao#bc my dad got a job w them#that he DIDNT EVEN KEEP#already wasn’t the most mentally stable#so when i say it spiraled into complete mental health crisis like#nearly hospitalized (or maybe i technically was briefly idk??) almost didn’t finish high school etc etc#has taken years to try to come back from it#still barely even there yet#i mean obvi there were several factors but one of the biggest instigators was the move#and the reason for it?#that fucking pizza company#and yeah can confirm it’s greasy as shit and kind of nasty#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dapg#dan and phil games#dnpgames#pizza
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Preston x Danse is the only companion ship I think would actually work because Preston’s inner turmoil is sort of a loss of faith in himself due to the traumatic experiences he’s faced while Danse is looking for something to have faith in and would find the fact that despite the desire to give up Preston held out so long not just for the honor of the Minutemen but because he had some hope.
It would 100% start off as a lotta unhealthy on Danse’s side as I believe he completely lacks the emotional intelligence (due to a combination of factors) to recognize the he’s feelings as anything but a sort of respect for a superior along with leaning too much into Preston as a substitute for the BoS. Preston may not really have a title but he’s like THE Lieutenant of the Minutemen. Realistically he’s the only companion Danse would probably be comfortable taking instructions from especially for how trusted Preston is by the Sole Survivor and his adherence to military standards despite how unstructured the Minutemen are. It would be him waiting for orders, approval, anything from Preston and he thinks it’s just the desire to have the regiment of the BoS again but he also like when Preston compliments him on being useful or resourceful. He likes the stories of Minuteman glory days and he trades the stories of the BoS that don’t hurt to talk about. He likes the familiarity Preston would provide and he’d be oblivious that it’s not just new found loyalty to the Minutemen.
Yet Preston explains it himself that he’s not a natural leader. He’s not an instructor. He helps manage what the General has put in place and he content on doing that. He relays what needs to be done and does major upkeep but I don’t think he’d know what to do with this guy this literally marches up to him and practically begs for a mission that doesn’t exist. Like the formality and respect is nice but he can tell it’s covering something even if Danse doesn’t.
Danse could go to Sturges for the many repair and upkeep assignments he gives him and has the freedom to go straight to the Castle if he really wants a big mission, but he chooses to come to him everytime. He’s aware enough that Danse only trusts him out of all of the Generals confidantes but it would take a bit for him to understand why. If anything Danse should be strategizing with him as equals seeing as he almost got the Minuteme wiped out and Danse was a Paladin for the Brotherhood with many successes under his belt before Preston even led his first scouting mission. It’s like he sees him as some figure of hope, some one who can come in and add stability. Someone with a fresh outlook who can provide a new perspective for him.
It’s like he sees him like he saw/sees the Sole Survivor but that would be crazy because that would also mean… and then oh, it clicks.
The revelation is both flattering and he doesn’t know what to do with it cause how do you address “I know you respect me but is that the only feeling you have for me?” To the guy who like refuses to rest unless you tell him at ease? He has to reevaluate his whole manner of interaction with Danse cause this is a very slippery slope that he’s sliding down and it’s even more perilous due to Danse’s repressed emotions regarding… everything. There’s an equal chance Danse will try to open up as completely shut down and he’s not just concerned about it cause Sole Survivor cares for him but because he has grown to care for the guy too. It’s not like he doesn’t also enjoy Danse’s company and value as a Minuteman member. He’s not a love at first sight guy but he’s played with the idea, anyone would when you’ve spent nights trading stories, historical facts and beers by the fire in a little home you’ve carved for yourself through literal blood, sweat and tears.
I think it’s one of those cases where it’s agonizingly slow to the actual relationship but neither part are anguished about that. If anything happened to soon Danse would be too dependent and Preston not equipped to handle it. It’s a case where I genuinely think they’d bring out the best in each other cause theyd want to figure out what is best for the other and not just apply what they think is the best. It’s the care that Preston would ask Danse what he wants to do and encourage it and at the same time Danse would be incredulous everytime Preston second guesses himself.
Long story short it’s a good ship to me because it’s just two guys with broken confidences and faith in their roles being each other’s hype man and kissin a little about it.
#my thing with the other ships is less that the compatibility is bad but a lot of these characters would not enable the best behavior in eac#other or they want drasticlu different things in life or partners and while flings or non serious things would work long term I imagine#problems would arise that a lot of them would not know how to address with each other like Preston is the most well adjusted besides like#Piper. I’d say Nick but he has the whole I’m technically another guy thing going on and DiMA and he’s a workaholic and throws himself into#danger a lot if Ellie is to be believed so like Piper is the closest next to Preston#a lot of these people should not be in relationships rn honestly because they have barely worked through their issues and should learn to b#health mentally and physically and emotionally alone first as they cling to hard to SoSu#like it’s almost all of them but like Piper Preston and MacCready but RJ is also just kinda a dick but we knows he’s always been like that#Preston x Danse is till more so a like this develops slowly and Danse doesn’t know why his stomach hurts when Preston doesn’t include him i#his patrol squad for the day and blames it on feeling like he’s being excluded for not being good at it and Preston excluding him cause he’#like I need you to do something for yourself of of your own volition but also his buddy deserves a break and does not get that Danse is lik#a work dog that constantly needs a task or he becomes neurotic#I have so many thoughts on the compatibility of the companions cause some of them are like fun partners and fwbs and others would have the#most heartbreaking toxic romances known to man but still get over it the next day and be fwbs like none of them have healthy feelings#Preston x Danse#dunno if they have a ship name#fo4#preston garvey#fallout#fallout 4#paladin danse#danse#Danse’s active flirting is like ‘you know how to perfectly create a secure perimeter I have trouble believing it wasn’t just bad timing and#luck with the misfortune that followed your group to concord Lieutenant Garvey’ and it’s like the most reassuring thing Preston has heard#but that is like not a flirty thing but Presont is still smitten by it cause what the fuck does this guy see in him or why is he suxking up#to him and his poor planning skills
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jesus christ i am having so much brainrot about this scene again like it has no right to be this fucking good??? just. "if it were just you and me i'd let you rot" the tension. the pain. "would you tryly have killed me?" the conflict of love and hate and just. "gods help me - i don't know!" god. i am foaming at the mouth i am genuinely so unwell over this
#whump#i guess#emotional whump#for context raistlin and caramon are twins and have such a messy unhealthy dynamic and i love it#caramon really can't live without raistlin like he barely knows who he is without him#raistlin shamelessly manipulates and emotionally abuses caramon however he wants and he can do almost anything and caramon will still follo#raistlin hates it whenever he has to be reliant on caramon and usually scorns any shiw of affection from him#and yet deep within there's a part of him that still cares for caramon and treasures that love#in the book before this one caramon spent a good part of it as a gladiator/slave technically owned by raistlin#and also tried to kill raistlib twice (once without knowing it was raistlin and once specifically trying to kill raistlin(#just. god. i have way too.much brainrot about them and about this momebt in particular
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"god had to nerf me because i was too powerful" - gale dekarios
#i mean.... am i technically wrong?#every time i remember she did that i lose brain cells#and i feel like there's enough evidence to suggest that IS why she did it or at least one of the reasons why beyond just punishing him#because if he was such a prodigy from the beginning and could withstand what the karsite weave did to him*#then he would be equal - if not greater - than her#*obviously there's the danger of the orb but if he's 'content' in the epilogue then it doesn't effect him anymore#if we're believing that IS the reason why and mystra didn't just remotely cure him of symptoms after all#ANYWAY this was all meant to be a silly little joke i imagined gale would say post act 3 when he's over her and has friends#...although i guess you could say that's gale from the beginning when he's trying to cover his broken ego lol#...once again ANYWAY i still barely know the lore and stuff i'm just being silly as a treat#gale of waterdeep#bg3#baldurs gate 3
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what makes minedai even sadder is that we never rlly see daigo try to build a bond with anyone else like he did with mine it rlly shows how badly it effected him like yeah he reached out to shinada in y5 but that’s rlly it and he probably would wanna leave him alone after that and not involve him in any yakuza stuff so i don’t think they would’ve hung out or anything like that afterwards. All he rlly had were saejima and majima but they were more like babysitters than anything, wish we saw more of their dynamic tho like we did with majima and daigo in dead souls since that was fun and we were lowkey robbed but in canon he’s just as lonely as he was before majimas promise to kiryu. And mine is the only person he really had a meaningful relationship with romantic or not they were still really close and we don’t see that again with daigo ever (from what i recall after y3) ok sorry for rambling LMFAO
even with shinada, he reached out to him more so out of 'duty' and trying to make up for the misfortune that befell him because of yakuza than wanting to rekindle any kind of friendship they might have had in high school (though it sounds more like they were just acquaintances if shinada needing a second to remember who daigo was is anything), so yah i doubt they really had any kind of bond afterwards
dead souls really was the only time after Y3 where we got to see daigo be more sociable with someone, but its as you say majima and saejima are more like retainers than close friends
#snap chats#you can tell i was into fire emblem when the first term that comes to my mind to call majima and saejima was 'retainers' omfg#but yeah ..... depressing ....#does make me wonder who daigo was on the phone with during the rggo story though. like clearly daigo has friends#apparently. we just never see or hear of them. tho ig it is implied those were his friends from the y2 era. as mine said flarkjla#REGARDLESS yeah after y3 daigo just feels depressing to watch#i think its just because he really has to do everything on his own now#but not even have a friend to just chill with at the end of the day- like the technical work is whatever. for the most part#THATS stressful obvi so to not have anyone to really be personable with thats probably the dire part. imo.#cause yk the world could suck but as long as you have that One Person to just relax with then its ok but with mine gone. 🧍♂️#probably doesnt help that like. during the 'flashback' segment of y3 where we get to see daigo sitting with kiryu and nakahara#we see him all cheery and bein a lil jokester and just. A Happy Dude#granted this is barely a year or two into being chairman so The Horrors Havent Set In relatively but still ... i miss his smile ..#every time i think of daigo post-mine i think of those like. tragedies or accounts of people where its like#'after X's friend/lover died they never found another again' like thats the vibe i always get#he really packed it up and never got close with anyone else again and it makes me want to throw up#y4 widow arc still good tho it makes me chortle
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one aspect that always fascinates me about the witch cult is how much they are used-to-be humans-but-now-not-really-are. they were just people who sometimes were good in the way people are and sometimes were bad in the way people are. and then their lifes had been altered by powers so fundamentally that they just. lost touch with any humanity that they had. how do you comprehend being a hundreds years old? how do you comprehend being able to kill a human as simply as a mosquito? how do you comprehend being beyond time, beyond aging, beyond life and death, beyond your own body, beyond your own memories? it's a horror scenario accepted willingly, horror where instead of running from monster you shake its hand and convince yourself that that's all you ever wanted, because the alternative? the alternative is the existence so miserable you'd rather die than go back. the existence that may ask you to take responsibility for your actions, navigate your own life, change who you are as a person.
they cannot do that. they never could do that. they live for years and years, having powers to do literally anything and yet led by instructions in the book, further and further conservating in the state they were from a start, the moment they took a deal.
doomed from the beginning. never having a chance to escape. never wanting to escape, instead allowing your humanity to slowly seep away as a price for not bearing the weight of that it means to be human. damn.
#re zero#sorry for being barely comprehensible myself i just think about this. a lot.#like the sheer fact that all of them lived either literally or technically (lye) for thousands years#and yet they still hold grudges for stuff that happened lifetimes ago#never progressing never changing despite the fact that their whole life is now technically about Progression To The Goal#to do more work! (nobody except petelgeuse actually cares about the cult goals on the personal level)#to collect more names! (there are never gonna be enough names) to collect more wives! (same thing here)#to be loved by someone who could never love you back because he stucks in his own role and unreachable goal#to be loved by everybody even though you are completely disgusting by your own volition#none of this matters but hey if you convince yourself that it does it doesn't suck so bad!#and if you admit that it doesn't then the only option is to ask yourself what am i doing here actually! and you not gonna love the answer!#well i sure am talking A LOT about them. sorry.#also that's the part where i'm slowly pointing at regurein- [I'm shot at the back of the head]#[my bloodied hand still draws “I'm a monster who hunts monsters” in sand tho]
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Small drawing collection of my latest creation Emran as a teenager/freshly minted Air Acolyte, for my dear partner in unhinged OC shenanigans @katkastrofa, as promised <3
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#I need to figure out a way to tag these guys#like with renny and dori I just put sotrl in front of their names and that works#but emran is technically an LaF character. though not uniquely tied to that verse. and idk what to do with Ila and Alasie#maybe I need to have some unique oc tag or smth. I’ll figure it out#if you’re wondering why I stayed up until half past 7 a.m to draw this it’s because I needed some way to cool down#after the kuviren smut absolutely broke my brain#and what better way to do that than by drawing my sweet baby boy?#yes lmao he went from baby girl to baby boy in like 24 hours. fucking sue me#but actually. actually!! they’re both. they contain multitudes :)#they probably haven’t even realised that at this point and are still in disguise#convinced that she’ll be punished for her deceit if anyone found out that she’s actually a girl#(okay off topic but the switching pronouns are really fun lmao)#but give them time. they’ll figure it out soon enough. in these pieces they’re slowly getting used to temple life#and that is the first step to self acceptance#I’m actually extremely proud of these. especially the one with the apple basket. I feel like the androgynous vibes are really there#and he looks like his brother the most in it#but the others are fun too. I loved doing the portrait. I should do them more often#and.. I will admit. I traced the lemur. I can barely draw people okay how do you expect me to draw animals#but I just think that Aiza would really love a little lemur friend#animals don’t judge and she doesn’t have to watch herself around them. she can just be. plus the lemurs are really cute <3#I want to eventually do a companion to this with Aiza instead. maybe from back before she ran away#probably something based on reflection from Mulan too bc the vibes are there. though.. to be completely honest#I’d say they have a lot more of Shurochka Azarova’s vibes than Mulan. but that’s just my love for Soviet cinema taking over#it’s essentially if mulan fought napoleon instead. and when discovered instead of left to die they promoted her to lieutenant 😁#I realise the comparison is completely incomprehensible to everyone but me but.. go watch the hussar ballad. it’s free on YouTube with subs#okay enough rambling. i shall now go to bed. @ Kat I hope this brightens up your morning at least somewhat. I love you!!
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