#bardtenders

[moeblob]

anyway here's art I won't delete c:

[dragomerepyrrhart]

The expressions were inspired by Kibbitzer’s art references, but the character is my Half elf College of Valor bard, Lance. He is a lovable himbo bartender bard. I’m playing him in an Exandria campaign

[puddlebrigade]

Here’s the recipe to a better Noble Pursuit/Tubby Custard

frozen red pitaya/dragonfuit chunks

a nectarine peeled and chubked

a cup of creme of coconut

6 shots of white rum

pinch of salt

Blitz that bright pink solution in your blender, strain into your glass of choice. if needed, shake over ice, depending on how hot it is where you are.

This is the ultimate girls night drink, I swear to god. It’s a drunken smoothie made of blended barbies and unicorn farts.

[lackadaisy-headcanon-supply-unit]

I have a craving for a oneshot on the rocks, with a hint harsh, a drip of tagic, a taste of spice, and an after taste as sweet a sugar.

For flavoring, I was thinking about of a Nicodeme "Nico" Savory or a Mordecai Heller, which ever the Bardtender think's will taste better.

Two characters, two authors! Enjoy your flavourful drinks. (Just make sure you have a designated driver to take you home, since this is gonna be a Hell of an experience. Maybe you should sit down. No passing out in my bar!) -mod Ille

At last, my bilingual ass has been summoned for something! -mod Iphie

(CW for semi-descriptive headshot, a nasty gash to the arm and implied character death)

Mordecai’s head pounded from the blow against the brick wall. The cat who had roughly shoved him there was now practically headless, their skull shattered from a point-blank side-of-the-head shot.

Y/N was panting slightly as they both eyed the corpse. Mordecai taking off his glasses to clean the blood splatters off the lenses snapped their attention towards him and relief flooded their eyes. “Thank god, you’re okay…”

“‘Okay’ is subjective,” Mordecai grumbled, not at all surprised when a curious hand came down with blood when he checked the back of his head. “I may require medical assistance.”

“Shit. Let me see?”

On a normal day, he would have objected. He would’ve shied away from his partner’s touch and insisted that they merely get going in case the bloodthirsty felines they had the unfortunate luck of working with killed the cat they were tasked with questioning. This time, however, he reluctantly yet obediently turned around.

Y/N carefully moved his pinned ears up, mumbling an apology as they knew he didn’t like them getting touched. “It doesn’t look like much,” they said after a moment. “I think your fur’s picked up the worst of it. Once you get cleaned up you can probably get a better idea of what to do with it. Does your brain hurt?”

Mordecai shook his head slowly. It didn’t feel like anything got knocked loose, nor did his brain loudly object by spinning or pounding. “No.”

“No headache, no…?”

“Nothing, I appear to be fine.”

Y/N didn’t respond to that, instead moving around Mordecai to check his eyes. They visibly relaxed when they made eye contact. “You’re fine. Your eyes are clear. You’ve got a thick head, Morde.”

Mordecai rolled his eyes in response. Y/N snickered and held a blood-soaked hand out to him as gunshots started up again somewhere a little ways away from their alleyway.

“C’mon,” they whispered. “I think the twins are having too much fun without us.”

Mordecai pointedly stared at their hand. Y/N got the hint after a moment and wiped it off onto their pant leg as much as they could. When it was more or less clean, he finally slipped his hand into theirs and led them towards the sounds of violence.

Needless to say, the Savoys were having far more of a ball than Mordecai and Y/N did. Neither of them knew what it was about the situation that had made them so feral—what it was about their job in general—but it was to be expected that when a bit of firepower needed to be fired, there would be no survivors.

The particularly unlucky spot they had got themselves in involving not only an interrogation gone wrong, but a rival gang and couple of passing cops too.

No, the Savoys were not professional or clean in their line of work, but Mordecai had to admit they were definitely quick and effective.

By the time they turned the alleyway corner, the last shots had been fired and there were no more disturbances to be seen—or to deal with. Before long, raucous laughter replaced the blazing gunfire.

Serafine heaved Boudreaux onto her shoulder and wiped the sweat from her brow. "Seems like that's the last of 'em," she sighed, kicking one of the surrounding corpse with the steel toe of her boot. "They really thought pistols and glass could come up against us!"

"The source?"

"Dead."

"And the other intruders?"

"All dead, of course."

"And the cops?"

Serafine gave him a look. "What do you think? We're not that stupid, cher."

"What about the cargo?" Mordecai pressed, wiping the back of his bleeding hand on his trenchcoat.

"'S all here," Nico chuckled, patting the crate hidden behind a couple of bins. "Secure and ready to go, chief."

Mordecai glanced at it. His frown only soured. To think that all of this—the red stained cobbles, the spent and expensive ammunition, even the new scar he sustained to the back of his hand—was for one small box. Mr Sweet must have been incredibly eager to get his hands on whatever was inside, at the detriment of his staff.

Mordecai only hoped it was worth it.

He had been wondering that a lot ever since he joined the Marigold bandits. Lackadaisy runs had been just as messy, but at least they weren't for as senseless a cause as this one.

A sudden gasp from Y/N brought him back to the rest of his team.

"Nico, your arm!"

Mordecai's paled when he finally clocked on to what they meant. A long, deep gnash tore down the Savoy brother's left arm, the jagged wound so deep it was almost black in the low light of the alley. Blood smeared every inch of his fur and then some, staining his front and even his cheek. The glass shard used to perform the deed was still wedged inside, worryingly close to his wrist.

Even Serafine took a step back, the bloodlust in her eyes cast aside immediately.

Only Nico was calm.

He looked down and yanked out the glass, then rolled his shoulder back to inspect the damage. He shrugged.

"I've had worse," he laughed.

Mordecai knew a lie when he heard one, and when he saw that Nico's brave face was slipping by the second. Dark chuckles of dismissal lost assurance and volume until they were barely heard at all. Bright amber eyes lost focus and eyelids sagged.

He collapsed.

Serafine rushed to catch her twin, carefully laying him down on the ground. She squeezed his uninjured hand as Y/N--who was evidently playing medic today--dropped to their knees on his other side and took their claws to the coat they were wearing.

"He's bleeding a lot," they muttered fearfully, talking more to themself than anything. "We might need to take him to a hospital."

"No."

Their ears flicked as Mordecai brought them back to the present. They looked back at him. "Mordecai, this is more than I can handle. If we don't get him to the—"

"How will you explain the injury?"

"It's none of their business." There was a hard edge to Serafine's voice. "Eider he goes, or I kill you both when 'e dies."

Mordecai made his way over to Y/N and knelt down beside them. Blood was still flowing from the wound in a steady stream, it easily soaking through the coat fabric Y/N painstakingly wrapped around Nico's arm as a bandage.

"He will either bleed out before we get to the hospital," he started, straightening up again. "Or he will seizure and pass on anyway. There is no—"

Serafine lunged. Y/N grabbed her shoulders before claws met fur. "Serafine, don't! Don't. I will do what I can to keep him stable. You stay with him."

The queen was out for blood again, her ears pinned back almost flat against her skull and her tail fluffed out. Still, she relented; ever so slowly returning to crouching by Nico's side and taking his hand again. Y/N was probably one of the few felines that could talk her down from bloodthirsty to benevolent.

Mordecai stood back again as Y/N went to work, putting pressure on the wound and mumbling to themself. Serafine appeared to have gone inside herself as she held Nico's free hand in one and stroked his head with the other.

"T'es un salaud si tu penses que j'vais te laisser crever comme ça," she muttered.

Nico's chuckle was far too light for the situation. "Et toi, t'es toujours aussi têtue qu'au couvent," he teased weakly. "Y a des choses qui ne changent jamais, hein?"

"J'suis ta sœur. Je reste ici."

"En tant que ton frère, je dis que non. Les flics peuvent arriver d'un moment à l'autre."

"T'as pas le choix, mon cher."

She gripped his hand tighter, for the last time.

When his breathing started to become shallow and Y/N's canines appeared over their bottom lip, Mordecai predicted the end result.

They looked at Serafine mumbling what Mordecai presume to be a prayer before turning to him, their E/C eyes worried. An unspoken question hung between them. "What do I say to her?"

Serafine and Nicodeme were inseparable. Where one was, the other was hardly ever far behind. From what Mordecai could tell they had been that way since they were children.

There would be no easy way to pull Serafine away from her twin brother.

Y/N reached across Nico to put their hand on top of the twins' own. Serafine's head snapped up to meet their eyes. They swallowed hard before speaking. "Serafine..."

"I know."

"You don't have to stay here. If you don't want to see him—"

She shook her head, cutting them off. "I'm staying here. You leave, bring him—" She shot Mordecai a dirty glare. "—too. I don't want to see his face again. Not after his idiotic interrogation went wrong and caused this. I'll deal with him later."

"But—"

"Go."

Y/N nodded and carefully stood up, reluctantly taking their hands off Nico's arm. Serafine stroked his head again as they made their way over to Mordecai.

Their voice cracked when they spoke. "She wants us to leave."

"So I overheard."

"She's not happy."

"I heard that too."

"Mordecai, I swear to god, if you start being snarky when her brother is fucking—"

He cut them off by abruptly turning and walking away. They rushed to catch up to him, their fur bristling.

The walk between the two back to the car was silent. Y/N was oddly quiet, their eyes hard and footsteps quick. It wasn't until Mordecai reached for the driver's side door that they broke the spell. "Uh-uh, you're not driving."

Mordecai turned to them. "Excuse me?"

"You took a nasty hit to the head." Y/N wouldn't meet his eyes as they pulled his hand away from the door handle. "Even if you don't have a concussion, I don't want you driving. The motion might aggravate things and—"

"Y/N."

"—then it'll be you in the hospital and I'll have to explain that anyway and—"

"Y/N L/N."

"—then Mister Sweet is going to want answers and—"

Y/N squeaked when Mordecai grabbed their shoulders and shoved them against the car. E/C eyes finally met green ones as they stumbled over their words to silence.

"Enough." Mordecai dusted off their shoulders, and then his own paws, before standing up straight again. "We will be fine without him. She will likely be more of a savage than usual, but we will deal with that. Asa Sweet will be my responsibility to deal with, not yours."

He definitely did not want to think of the funeral, if at all. He didn't know what was sadder: the thought of it happening in the first place, or the fact that he'd likely not get one at all.

At his core, Nico was just another disposable part of the Marigold workforce. Mordecai had to get it into his head himself and stop wallowing over it all. He would need to try and get Y/N to do so as well. He could see tears well up in their eyes.

Crying never helped anyone or anything. It certainly wouldn't now, not unless they were made of magical medicine that could cure all ailments.

But as luck would have it, they were not.

That was where unprofessionalism like the Savoys got people in this business. They'd take it as a warning.

A warning that stung, but a warning to be sure. The thought of such a strong, seemingly unbeatable fighter dying in an alley, in dirt, in disgrace, made his fur bristle.

Mordecai still couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't a little his own fault, somewhere down the line.

He probably wouldn't admit it even if it was.

Y/N's ears moved back and forth, either registering his words or listening for something. They looked over both of his shoulders and back over their own. Mordecai strained his own ears to listen to, so their next words made him (embarrassingly) flinch.

"Can I hug you?"

"What? Yes. Wait, no-"

Too late. Y/N practically threw themself at him, crushing him into a hug so tight it felt like he was about to be suplexed. His hiss of displeasure went unnoticed by them, up until he awkwardly patted their head; then they abruptly let go and backed up so quickly they slammed against the car and bumped their head.

The irony wasn't lost on Mordecai as Y/N growled and rubbed the back of their head. They shot him a look when they noticed the small smile on his muzzle.

"Don't say it."

"Do you require medical assistance?"

[French Translations:

"If you think I'm gonna leave you here alone to die, you're a bastard."

"And you're still as stubborn as you were back at the convent. Some things never change, eh?"

"I'm your sister. I'm staying here."

"And as your brother, I say no. The cops could arrive at any moment."

"You don't have much of a choice in the matter, my dear."]

[mayakern]

Gods I kinda want your barmaidbarian and my bardtender to be besties lol

if u or ur dm joins my licensable character tier on patreon she can totally be an npc in your game!

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1077: Bartending with Uncle Rodin (Persona 5 x Bayonetta x SSBU)

2:34 p.m. at the Gates of Hell Bar.......

Ren: (Standing Behind the Bar With a Confident Smirk on his Face) Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to my first and lastest creation....(Presents Two Small Glasses of Red Colored Drinks) Passionate Crimson Flaré~

Enzo: (Amazed at the Drink In Front of Him) Ooooooooh.....

Rodin: (Crosses his Arms as He Examines his Drink Closer) The name could use a little more work. But the drink itself does look promising. I wonder.....

Enzo and Rodin takes a sip of their respective drinks. It wasn't long for the duo to take a liking to them in question.

Enzo: (Turns to His Boss Next to Him) Holy shit, Boss. This creation of his taste fucking phenomenal!

Rodin: Wouldn't go that far. (Begins to Nod as his Taste Buds Starts Kicking in a Bit) ('Mm') But this is pretty delectable. (Turns to Ren in Front of Him) Not bad, kid.

Ren: (Smiles Proudly) Thanks! I wasn't kidding when I said this was my first time creating something like this, but I'm really glad the Bardtending Class is paying off somewhat.

Rodin: That's good and all, but what exactly makes you wanna take up this job in the first place?

Enzo: Yeah, not that we don't want ya here obviously, but you seem like the kinda fellow who would be more interested in the undercover business if anything.

Ren: Funny you mentioned that tidbit. I was planning on becoming one at one point, but I thought about all the times the legal system screwed me over in the past. So I decided not to go through with it in the end. 'Sure Makoto can do a better undercover agent than I ever could anyways.

Enzo: (Raised an Eyebrow in Confusion) Makoto who now?

Ren: Makoto Niijima. (Puts on a Cheeky Grin on his Face) My one and only Queen~ (Shows his Uncles a Picture of him and his Girlfriend Together on his Phone) We started dating back in high school and been a romantic team ever since.

Enzo: (Starts Holding his Chin and Nodding With a Grin of his Own) Aha!~ That girl looks like a real keeper, I'll tell ya what.

Rodin: She must be if you call her Queen.

Ren: ('Sighs Dreamingly') Oh you have no idea.....She's smart, resourceful, always does her best to lookout for others, and can definitely kick my ass anyday of the week~

Enzo: (Let's Out Heartdy Laugh) Hahaaa!~ Girl who can kick your ass, huh? I never expected any less from one of my nephews!~

Rodin: (Rolls his Eyes) They're OUR nephews, moron. And of course you would be into that dominance shit. Your own wife been kicking your fatass since the day you first met her.

Enzo: (Shrugs Casually) True. I may be the resident punching bag in the relationship, but it's still leagues better than being coped up in a bar all day and night being single, bald, and moody-(Quickly Notice his Boss Glaring at Him Before Sweating Bullets) I-I don't mean you, of course, boss! I mean, you're bald too, b-b-but like in a more sophisticated way in, ya know? A-And who could ever resist a bald man owning a bar, am i right? (Chuckles Very Awkwardly)

'Silence'

Enzo: (Clicks his Tongue Briefly) You know, I JUST remembered....I had an assignment or two I had get done by the end if the day, you know the one with mafia business and whatnot? (Slowly Starts Getting Up From his Table and Points at the Door Far Behind him) Yeah, I should....go out there and get my lazy-ass started already. (Turns Back to Ren With a Smile as He Gives him a Handshake) But hey! It was nice to finally have the opportunity to meet you, Renny Boy. I don't know why your mothers didn't introduce you to us sooner, but that's neither here nor there. Stay safe and try not to work your ass off to death, alright? Business here been going slow here for God knows how long and I doubt the boss man is gonna do anything to make more interesti-

Enzo turns back to see Rodin still glaring at him.

Enzo: I-I'mma gonna....head out now.....(Starts Walking Backwards Before Turning Around and Sprinting his Way Towards the Exit)

Ren: (Waves Goodbye to Enzo) It was nice to meet you. Uncle Enzo!

Rodin: Try not to trip your ass on the way out!

Enzo: (Turbs Back to the Duo on a Far Enough) Huh? WoahwoahwoahWOAH!-

The loud sound of trash cans falling and cats yelling cam be heard as Enzo trips outside.

Enzo: ('Groans in the Distance') Ah gee....What a fucking start to the day......

Ren: Hm. (Starts Nodding Before Smiling a Bit) He seems pretty cool.

Rodin: Who? Enzo? ('Tch') Please. (Takes a Cigar From Out his Coat Pocket and Uses his Finger to Light It Up) That fool's more of constant headache if anything....(Starts Smoking From his Cigar Before Exhaling it With a Sigh) But I'm glad you're taking a liking to us at least. You seem like a nice kid, or rather young adult.

Ren: Thanks. I'm glad I have opportunity to meet you two as I am happy to be here. I'll do everything I can not to get in your all that much.

Rodin: I wouldn't worry too much about that if I were you. Just keep doing what you've been doing and everything can go smoothly from there. (Points at Ren) Also, don't get too experimental on the drink, ya hear? Their bitter taste is a whole lot stronger than it looks and I don't wanna deal spent an hour or two trying get these drunk fucks out of my bar.

Ren: (Simply Nodded at the Request) Right.

A few minutes has passed by and there wasn't any customers insight, which for Rodin, is a blessing in most disguised figure. As Ren finishing up cleaning the used glasses for today, a thought suddenly occurred in his mind as he speaks.

Ren: Hey, Uncle Rodin, can I ask you something?

Rodin: (Looks Up at Ren With a Magazine in his Habd) Yeah, shoot.

Ren: I....know this might not be my business or anything, but.....Is it true that you and our goddess mom had bad history with one another at one point?

Rodin: Me & Palutena? (Sighs Heavily at the Particular Memory) Yeah.......something like that. I mean, I'm indifferent towards her nowadays, but she still despise me with every fiber in her flesh abd bones.

Ren: Really.

Rodin: Damn right. And it all started wayyy back when I was just your average, run of a mill Angel. (Let's Out a Chuckle) Well, actually, I wouldn't go that far. I was actually pretty well respected for the most part, taking charge of the creation and half of Paradiso's population and whatnot. The women wanted to fuck me and the men would write an entire essay why they wanna be me. That was, until the day I got fed up with the job and higher ups to the point I rebelled on the system entirely and boy, let me tell you that they were NOT happy about that at all.

Ren: Not even mom?

Rodin: ESPECIALLY your mother. You see, she never admits this to anyone, but back then, your mother was a fan of mines, said my contribution inspired her in someway. So once she found out about my insurgency that day, she teleported her way to the battlefield and tried to kill me herself.

Ren: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Shock) You're kidding.......

Rodin: It's true. That woman did everything in her power to end my existence one way or another. But I'll say this much: as loud and obnoxiously preachy as she was....(Smirks a Bit) She's actually one the few worthy adversaries I had in a real long time.

Ren: So she hated you for that long, didn't she?

Rodin: ('Heh') "Hated"? Boy, she still hates my guts even when her and your momma started dating. But I suppose as long as she keep treating y'all with the respect and care, I shouldn't have any reasons to worry. (Pulls Down his Glasses as He Raises his Eyebrow at Ren) You do like having her around as your Goddess Mom or whatever, right?

Ren: (Happily Nodded) Yeah, how could not? She and Witch Mom went out of their way to adopt and raise me as their own. (Frowns a Bit) Which is more than I can say about my actual parents......

Rodin: You had a shitty home life?

Ren: ('Sigh') Somewhat....It was mostly strict if anything. It wasn't long until I was framed for a crime I didn't commit that they moved me away to Shiyuba, labeled me as a disgrace to the family's name, and disowned me altogether. But as sucky as that was....(Starts Smiling a Little) The move did help me start my life over and meet the people I've grown attached to over the recent years. So there's that at least.

Rodin: (Smiles Back at Ren With a Simple Nod) Good, good. The world we live in is filled with cruelty and disaster, but It's nice to see some folks out there finding a better outlook and living the best life for themselves, away from their past sufferings.

'DOOR KOCKED OPENS'

????: HEEEEEEERE'S HADES!

Rodin: (Sighs While Rolling his Eyes at a Familiar Face) Speaking of disasters......

Ren: 'Sup Hades. What brings you here?

Hades: Ohh nothing too grand. (Makes his Way inside the Bar) Just checking up on how my nephew is doing on his first day as a bartender.

Rodin: (Turns to Ren) Y'all appointed this fool as your uncle?

Ren: Not really. He declared himself as one a while back. (Leans in and Whispers into Rodin's Ear) He's not even close being the best uncle in the entire Smash Family.

Hades: (Glares at his Self Proclaimed Nephew) Hey, my ears aren't broken, I heard that! (Crosses his Arms Together) And I'll have you know that have set a good enough example for each of you ungrateful brats as a parental figure.

Ren: (Gives Hades a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Really? Then why did showed Pitto that one scene from Toyoko Tribe last year on the first day of October?

Rodin: Wait. You mean one with that big lipped fucker and-

Ren: Yeeeup. And let's not forget the time you made him watch three episodes of Boku no Pico a year or two earlier just for shits and giggles.

Rodin slowly turns his head back towards Hades with a menacing glare on his face.

Rodin: What in the everlasting hell is wrong with you?

Hades: ('SIghs in Defeat') Look, I was bored at each of those times alright!? I didn't think they would actually sacred him THAT badly.......

Ren: Yeah, well they did. (Chuckles Lightly) And honestly, you deserved every beating that came your way after that. (Whispers into Rodin's Ear Again While Snickering) He got whopped by goddess mom AND Pitto's girlfriends.

Rodin: (Forms a Conniving Looking Smirk on his Face) You don't say?

Hades: Hey, they only beaten me by surprise! I can handle all three of them easily in a rematch, Palutena especially!

Ren: Really. So if I were to call her right now and ask her to come over here, you'd still fight her?

Hades: Yeeeup! (Crosses his Arms Again) Your Best Uncle in the Mutliverse Hades us not afraid of anyone. Not even all your mothers.

Ren; No one ever calls you that. (Shrugs) But hey, it's your funeral.

Ren takes his phone out of his pants pocket and begins his call. He waits for a few seconds for the beeps to go off until the words "Hello?" from a feminine voice finally reach into his eardrums.

Ren: Hey, mom, how's its going?

Rodin: (Turns to Hades) You're about to enter a word of eternal pain, you know that?

Hades: (Puts on a Cocky Smirk on his Face as He Scoffs at Rodin) Oh please, like she would ever step foot on this bar alone. She still hates you, remember?

Ren: What's that? You said you're coming over right away to beat him up!?

Hades' sudden begins to widens as he mentally hears the sound of broken glass ringing in his ears and a hint of fear slowly rears it's ugly head as shown in his facial expression.

Ren: And you don't care if you have step foot in Uncle Rodin's bar to do so!?

Rodin: (Went Back to Smirking at Hades) You were saying?

Hades: (Glares at Ren) Ren, what the hell did you tell your mother!?

Ren: Ohhh nothing too major~ Just the fact that I told her that you said that she's too much of a wuss to fight you again and you could vaporize her easily.

Hades: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock) VAPORIZ- Ren Amimaya, you know DAMN well I never said anything about vaporizing her bitch ass!

Ren: (Holds a Finger Up at Hades as He Continues His Phone Call With Palutena) .....Yeah, you heard that too, right? He just called you the B word.

Hades: (Angrily Grits his Teeth While Whispering to Ren) STOP TWISTING MY WORDS AROUND, BOY!- (Quickly Pauses Himself Before Taking a Deep Breath to Calm Down) You know what? It's fine, Hades. This is just an elaborate prank to fuck with me us all. Nothing more.

Ren: Hey, Hades, someone would like to have a word with you.

Ren holds up his phone and pits it on speaker mode as the caller in the other line begins to speak.

Palutena: HADES, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF FILITH! I'M COMING OVER THERE TO KICK YOUR SORRY ASS RIGHT NOW AND- (Continues Ranting and Screaming on the Other Line

Hades: (Finally Scared Shitless) Fuck this, I'm not ready to die again yet! Hades out!

And with that Hades finally disappears in the instantaneous speed of darkness much to Ren's satisfaction.

Ren: (Turns Speaker Mode Off and Put the Phone Back in his Ear) Don't waste your time coming over here, mom. He chickened out and left......Uh-huh.....Yep......('Sigh') Yes, I know. I shouldn't call you during work hours. This was just too funny of an opportunity to pass up, you know?.....Yeah......Alright, I'll bring you and Witch Mom something back once I get off.....Love you too. See ya.

Call Ends

Ren: (Turns to Rodin) Hey, you don't mind if I take some of your bags of Hellish Beef Jerky with me back home, do you? It'll only be for an evening.

Rodin: Knock yourself out (Puts on a Proud Smirk on his Face) You deserve it after scaring Hades' dumbass out of our establishment. 'Truly grateful for your service here today so far, boy.

Ren: (Smiles Softly) Thanks. I'm really glad to be here.

@keyenuta

@mariah2014

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@bestpony666

@princekirijo

[creatore-is-an-amarena-addict]

The feeling where you've been to the same pizza place so many times when you enter they ask: "the usual?" Is just unmatched, i fell like those badass cowboys swinging the saloon doors open like they own the place and the bardtender is already puring their cup, i know it's stupid and all but it makes me happy

[thechandraraj]

My Dwarven bard, Gin, rocking a different dress than usual. Guess you could say she's...*barrel-chested*?

[standbytakingcare]

Get your tickets for Much Ado About Nothing, Fridays and Saturdays, May 26-August 5 at 5pm! The box office is open! Call 912-601-9137 or visit our website at http://redbarntheater.yapsody.com/ #tickets #drunkshakespeare #bardtenders #redbarntheater #shakespeare #muchadoaboutnothing #boxoffice

[goblin-gardens]

Bad D&D party idea:

everyone is a bard, except for one person, who is a paladin. they are the bardtender.

[doctorslippery]

A Bardtender. Yes, DNDad joke. Shoot me. 

[moeblob]

Despite charisma being a pretty important stat for paladins, Paul has no charisma in the base plot. So I decided it would be really funny to have him have super low charisma in game, too.

So the whole "roll a save" in town is because Karen and Paul want to visit a tavern for info and Chris thinks it would only be fair to bully Pauladin with an NPC version of his hot bartender depending on the save.

[dragomerepyrrhart]

Another D&D character of mine, Lanceforth Magenstaff, known as Lance Magenstaff. He's a Half-Elf College of Valor Bard/Wild Magic Sorcerer. Who may or may not be the uncle of Shardan, my cleric/sorcerer.

No, he's not the reason Shardan is a Wild Magic Sorcerer. Lance has his own interesting origins to his wild magic. He was actually born a Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer but his father convinced him he wasn't a sorcerer after hearing Lance play music, and pushed him into music. Sure, Lance became a damn good bard, but in his late 60s, he would finally be told "you know, since you're genetically identical to your twin brother Pendragon, you know you would have been a sorcerer too, right?" But those 68 years of repressing sorcery? That made his sorcery unstable and lash out. So he's a sorcerer like his twin brother finally, but wild magic due to the instability of his sorcery.

I love this pretty-boy lovable lout bard/sorcerer who just happens to be a Bardtender. You heard me. Bard/Bartender.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

bardtender: provides alcoholic drinks while reciting epic verse

[redbarntheaternyc-blog]

Much Ado read through with The Bardtenders!! #shakespeare #muchadoaboutnothing #muchado #Statesboro #Georgia #dinnertheatre (at Georgia)

[nyccraigslistfraudblog]

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