#barbie put me into a fucking coma

[enfinizatics]

MINOR BARBIE SPOILERS just had a crying session while taking a shower, reflecting on the barbie movie and its impact. it feels like a significant step in releasing a small part of myself that once undermined my self-worth and made me resent being a girl and a woman. though i've always identified as a woman, there was a lingering dissatisfaction, as society often views us as inferior. it’s always seemed like i have to work harder just to be taken seriously solely because of my gender. in my younger years, i even forced myself to dislike the color pink because of its association with the stereotypical "girly" image and the idea of weakness. throughout my life, i’ve always felt like an outsider, the “weird barbie” in a world of conformity, being a neurodivergent girl who was always a bit different. then, i grew up into that "fucking weird neurodivergent queer feminist," teenage girl which often led to social isolation. but now, as an adult woman, something truly impactful happened while watching barbie. it was during gloria's (the mom) speech about being a woman; it felt like she voiced exactly what i've always wanted to say. the beauty of her words wasn't in presenting something groundbreaking or entirely new; deep down, we all knew those truths. yet, the significance of her speech lies in the fact that it was featured in a blockbuster movie, destined to be watched by millions worldwide. and that, my friends, is a huge fucking deal. today, i stand in a place of acceptance and self-love. i've come to realize that i am more than enough; i am proud of being a woman, of being queer, of being neurodivergent, and of being a feminist. this is me, and i love every part of it.

[buginateacup]

Australian Advent Prompt list

I saw a list of Xmas advent fic prompts going around and decided we needed a southern hemisphere version...

1. I'm a lowly retail worker who therefore loathes Xmas songs with a passion. You're a customer who came in glowing about the songs the shop forces us to play and caught my vile rant and you know what? No I don't give a shit. Report me all you like I do not care anymore. I have no soul left...wait why are you back? Why are you handing me a JB HIFI bag?... Did you just buy me a pair of noise cancelling earbuds?

2. Its forty fucking degrees why are we doing a roast?

3. What do you mean you aren't at the airport picking up (insert family member here) they just flew back from London!

4. It's your first Xmas in Australia and you're missing your family so you wore your ugly christmas jumper but you fainted because its forty fucking degrees you idiot!

5. Okay so we have six salads, the barbie is on, five desserts and who got the prawns...what do you mean no one?

6. That is not how to make gravy

7. Its 42 degrees and you fainted why are you wearing a full santa suit you idiot? Oh you're meant to be riding on the back of the fire truck for the Surf Livesaving Club christmas party? Okay shit hold ok I'll get you some water

8. You're my neighbour and its 3am and you've been trying to put that swingset together for four hours just let me help so we can both go to bed

9. We have four slabs of beer, a dozen bottles of sparking, an obscene amount of softdrink, six eskies and no ice.

10. You're drunk on your way home from your work christmas party and decided to go for a swim. I'm the poor idiot trying to stop you from drowning

11. You said the wrong thing to the wrong great aunt and got us both banished to the kiddie table...jokes on them we’ve got the hose and a tarp and we're gonna build a slip and slide

12. We don’t have mistletoe here so you wrote MITSLETOW in texta on the Goon of Fortune bag and its devolving into some kind of cthulian nightmare version of spin the bottle/truth or dare

13. The aunt that's hosting the family party the Sunday before christmas is on one of her weird food kicks again so we both snuck off to Bunnings for a sausage

14. The Cool Change.

15. Peppermint crisp vs Passionfruit on top of a pavlova. Fight!

16. We came though the drive-thru bottle-O to get ice on our way to Xmas day lunch with our extended family but you're really bored and forgot your lunch so we're bringing you with us/bringing you back a plate.

17. Its another three hours to get to Xmas lunch with the fam and we just hit a kangaroo. The roo is fine. The car is not.

18. We've been ordered to evacuate due to bushfires but the roads are cut off so we're going to wait on the beach instead.

19. Christmas on the beach.

20. We're both from the same small country town and wound up driving the 14 hours back from Sydney together even though we barely spoke in secondary school.

21. Food coma naps under the trampoline while the little cousins have a water fight

22. I told you it was a seven hour drive, its not that long, why are you whingeing?

23. Is it just me or are winter christmas songs really weird?

24. Really weird backyard cricket Xmas rules

25. You're an Australian expat in (insert northern hemisphere location) and someone put on White Wine in the Sun as a joke but now you're crying on the bar and okay I guess I'm making you a last minute Australian Christmas even though its minus forty and we haven't seen the sun in weeks.

[palmett-hoes]

since the first step in achieving your goals is to state them aloud, here's a list of aftg fics/ au s that i'd like to write some day

- pre-canon fic from aaron's perspective spanning the twins' first meeting till they're drafted by the foxes and graduate high school. i'm increasingly enamored with aaron as a character as well as with an outside perspective of andrew's actions and i think it would be very interesting to look at the foundation on which their fraught relationship is built and first developed

- even more pre-canon fic. andrew's early life in foster care. yes, we all know about the most... gruesome things that were done to him, but i believe that there is plenty more that has affected and shaped him, especially in relation to my interpretation of andrew as an autistic poc. this would not be a happy fic.

- anastasia au. neil as anya, andrew as dimitri. possibly a plot amalgamation from both the animated movie and the stage show, with changes as i see fit. (no, neil is not the prince of russia). what i find most compelling about this au is the story of neil and andrew as childhood friends and then the angst of having andrew, as an adult, teaching an amnesiac neil how to act like a noble while being convinced that neil is an imposter. good shit

- art school/dance club au. the foxes attend the palmetto school of art at prestigious edgar allen university. they're considered the school's charity cases, and they are NOT friends. andrew is a studio arts major with a concentration in sculpture who works in the campus coffee shop in the mornings and frequents night clubs that employ pretty boys in the evenings. neil is attending college completely on his father's dime, PROVIDED he study what his father wants, despite his desire to study dance and music. going crazy without an outlet, neil takes a secret job as a go-go dancer. look. this may slightly possibly be a result of me having planned to party hardy this summer, then having my plans ruined by the virus :c

- 1950s High School au. the 1950s aesthetics fucking rock even though the 1950s fucking sucked. kinda wanna tackle both. plus, andrew already has that james dean bad boy fast car appeal

- an exploration of mary and nathan's relationship and history. i get that neil's parents are both super taboo and both really really awful people, but i have questions and i want to answer them

- neil never returns from baltimore. in order to keep his deals, permanently, andrew kills riko and tetsugi, and gets over 20 years in prison. when he gets out, he just wants to be alone, but it seems there's a ghost haunting him. this was conceived for MAXIMUM angst, no getting around it. i got the idea from a badacts fic and it has haunted me ever since

- post-canon sexuality exploration fic. i have a real passion for quality sex education and healthy experimentation, and neil very clearly didn't get the chance for either. yet at the end of the books he finds himself in a very intense sexual relationship. i just really want to give him the opportunity to find out how desire works for him and what he likes, on his own terms. i read a lot of fics where neil's desires seem to be completely dependent on andrew's initiaton, and while i do believe that andrew is the only person neil is attracted to and will ever be attracted to, i also want to explore how his sexuality manifests on its own. the vibe i'm going for is, uh, HornySweet (tm), but also with a lot of genuine eductional material. i want this is to be something that offers real information to its readers that may have been inaccessible for a lot of people, on topics like like sexual hygiene, maturbation, and sex toys in a non-fetishy way. this will be very very E rated, but like,, in a very earnest and goofy way because sex and sexuality is neat and cool but it's also not all serious perfect fucking. it's just,, a topic that deserves to be DISCUSSED

- mobster au. andrew, having never met aaron, takes a job for the moriyamas to track down a runaway asset. Neil. upon completion, they make andrew the butcher's apprentice, and pull neil back into the fold as a commodity rather than a person. lots of violence, lots of shady underground dealings, lots of plotting, lots of secrets.

i'm gonna put some more under the cut, ones that i don't feel as strong a drive towards right now or that i haven't thought as much about. if you (yes, YOU) like any of these, or are interested in any of these, or wanna hear more about any of these, or are even inspired to write something yourself by any of these please, PLEASE, say something in the notes, or send me a message, or an ask or anything. ANYTHING. i am stuck inside, all the time, and i am so, so lonely. i answer from hoob-gooblin

- princess bride au. come ON. princess bride is one of the most romantic AND most snarky movies of all time, and andreil literally invented love and devotion sooooooo it's a perfect match. "yes or no" vs "as you wish" kings of consent and communication and unconventional love declarations. also,, he may not be how I imagine andrew, but a young cary elwes in dramatic black pirate getup is DEFINITELY a valid andrew

- hozier au. sometimes,, i listen to an album, and imagine a fic that encompases the whole thing. nothing speaks louder to me than hozier's discography. (also, yes, i am gay). maybe a little bit inside llewyn davis. neil wanders through a small town and takes up some small jobs, but sings his heart out through twisted metaphors once a week in a hole in the wall bar staffed by a very short, dead eyed veteran

- prince and the pauper au. on a stealth recon mission in enemy territory, andrew encounters a local lord who happens to have his face. in a moment of desperation to save himself from arrest, andrew knocks the lord out and assumes his identity. he returns to the castle just in time for prince moriyama to arrive with a shifty-eyed, red-headed handservant in tow. lord aaron of columbia, meanwhile, wakes up on a ship manned by crown traitor and fugitive kevin day, calling him by a name he's never heard before, and then he's in the hands of the guerilla rebel forces that have been attacking the kingdom. i watched barbie princess and the pauper as a child and that movie fucking slaps

- little mermaid/beauty and the beast/bride of the rose beast/ladyhawke au. in a last ditch attempt to escape his father, neil trades his voice and his tail for legs and washes ashore on a small kingdom with horrible secrets. because he cannot speak, read or write, prince aaron employs neil to serve the monster in the catacombs, the prince's twin brother. the twins are under a curse that turns them into terrifying monsters, andrew by day and aaron by night. aaron's affliction is a secret, as is andrew's humanity. this is such a hodgepodge idea lol. did neil also have to be a mermaid for this to work? no. is he? hell yeah

- new york private school/twin swap au. aaron wins a scholarship to a prestigious school that will guarantee him a future, but then he relapses. convinced he just needs a little more time to get clean, he makes a deal with his volatile new brother, andrew, to stand in for him at the school just until he can his shit together. neil and ichirou moriyama have been raised together their entire lives, always under the knowledge that ichirou will inherit the family empire with nathaniel as his right hand. they hate the idea, but they have no way to escape, and now neil is being harassed by ichirou's bitchass estranged brother at their stupid, fancy private school. LISTEN, we as a fandom do NOT take enough advantage of the twin swap possibilities presented to us. pathetic

- post-canon fic where ichirou, realizing that the life of a mob boss is a lonely one, decides that he needs... a friend. however, because of the nature of his work, he can't just make friends with anyone, so he decides to make friends with neil. without consulting neil first. cue a lot of very weird, very awkward coffee dates where neil is convinced he's about to be disposed of, and ichirou just wants to know about his cats. the thing i like about ichirou is he’s a complete blank slate. i can make him a good guy, a bad guy, an ally, the Big Bad

- Kill Bill au. mary survives a bullet to the head and wakes up from a coma over a year later. with nothing left to lose, she sets out to single-handedly dismantle the wesninski circle. good thing she used to be its top assassin

- single dad andrew au. except look, look, stay with me here, okay, aaron is his son, and he's adopted nicky and kevin. LISTEN. STAY WITH ME. JUST THINK ABOUT IT. tbh the idea comes from my interpretation of the andrew/neil/kevin dynamic as distincly parental, then extending that interpretation to andrew's protection over the rest of his family.

- fashion au. andrew is a fashion designer and photographer who frequently works with allison reynolds. one day she brings around a short, twitchy assistant who looks like she just plucked him out of an alley. somehow, he becomes andrew's muse. i watch a lot of fashion competition shows

- ghibli. either howl's moving castle (andrew as sophie, neil as howl) or spirited away (?). maybe both idk

- legally blonde au. legally blonde is so good guys

[bianca-warriorwriter]

Opposing Gangs part 3

warnings; smut. swearing 

tagged; @shawn-youth

“What are you doing?” he asks as I walk up to him as he sits on the bench.

“finishing that conversation” I say raising onto my tippy toes to whisper in his ear.

“oh?” he asks, I brush my teeth against his ear and that’s answer enough for him to let me pull him off of the bench. “Oh” he says as the door shuts behind him and I push him back against it. “if we are going to continue this conversation I believe you were supposed to be against the wall.” He says smugly.

“how about we start a new conversation?” I say kissing up his neck.

“and where would this conversation end?” he ask resting his head against the door.

“that’s for me to decide” I say ripping open his buttoned up shirt and kissing down his chest. The groan he tries to supress causes me to smirk against his chest.

“Don’t get cocky, Noora” he hisses through his teeth when I palm him through his jeans.

“Don’t talk to me about Cocky, Shawn” I say as I continue to palm him before using my other hand to fumble with the button of his jeans.

“eager are you?” he asks going to grab my wrist but stops when I get the button undone and slide my hand down to him.

“You know Shawn for someone who is so cocky, I’d expect… more” I say as I pump him. enough for him to get hard. Enough to put him in a predicament.

“I can always show you more” He says head rested on the door. I continue my motions. Enough for him to bite back any sounds.

“you know what I really hate?” I ask whispering into his ear.

“what? What do you hate?” he asks grabbing onto a nearby cabinet for support a little breathy.

“being left high and extremely wet” his eyes snap open. “being left so sexually frustrated and that it can’t be taken care of for hours” my smile is sinister. “I can always finish you off now” He says smugly.

“now where is the fun in that?” I say and he knows he’s in trouble. I speed up just a little and then stop. “I guess you’ll have to finish yourself off… I’m sure you’re used to that” I shove him out of the way and my wicked laugh fills the room before I exit leaving Shawn cursing very loudly and calling me any name possible.

Walking through the halls on a Monday morning is almost as hellish as a training session with my dad. Pulling my books from my locker I chuck them on top of James lot, this is his slight punishment for Maddy. I can feel Shawn’s glare from where he leans against his locker, Remy and Marcel next to him whilst some blonde haired girl tries to flirt with him. I wink at him as I pass.

“he doesn’t look interested barbie” I say laughing.

“no one asked what you thought, slut” I hault my steps. James and Parker tense as I spin around on my heel.

“Oh jayney babe didn’t anyone tell you that slut shaming isn’t cute?” I ask.

“there’s slut shaming and then there’s you… what were you mad that one guy doesn’t have your attention unlike your pack of dogs who kiss your ass?” she asks. I snap my fingers and my group forms a circle around them.

“My pack of dogs as you say are well trained. Trained enough that no one will break this circle until I say so. And because this guy” I gesture to Shawn with my fingers “isn’t under threat by me and he’s not going to flinch. Is he?” I look at Shawn for his answer

“oh this is too interesting to intervene” he says holding his hands up.

“oh would you look at that even he’s well enough trained.” I can see as Shawn shakes his head suppressing a smile “So Jayne, darling. Think before you say something to me again.” I take a step towards her.

“please. You think because your father is feared by many that extends to you too” she says trying to laugh.

“oh?” I take a step closer so I’m chest to chest with her. “please. Having a scary dad is a perk, Another perk is; I can put you into a fucking coma if I wanted to” I say. I move my hand to flick and invisible speck off of her shoulder and watch as she flinches. “so don’t make me change my mind” I say and as I snap my fingers next to her, she flinches again. But my group simply falls away. “bye bye now” I say smiling and spinning away and making my way out of the group.  I get all of half way down the hall when a hand wraps around my arm.

“whoever thought that was smart I’d let go right now” I say.

“I need to talk to you” the warm voice fills my ears.

“ I said let go Mendes” I say my eyes flicking from his hand to his face.

“I need to talk to you” he repeats.

“ugh fine” I say looking around. “outside” I say. “I’ll meet you guys in class or at lunch to the rest of you.” I say pushing through the doors. Sitting up on one of the benches outside.

“what’s up?” I ask

“jealousy looks kinda hot on you” he say resting one foot next to me. I scoff and roll my eyes. “but seriously I need to get something off of my chest” my eyes dart down to his tight fitted black shirt. “it’s not my shirt Carter” my eyes snap up to his.

“well that’s a shame” I respond. “I’m almost bored nowi” I ask.

“whatever is happening between us needs to stop” his tone is soft and I choke. “I’m not messing around anymore. Anyone could have seen us on Friday and we know what would have happened.” It’s a fact my dad would absolutely his lose shit if he found out I’d been… fraternizing with the enemy.

“okay – I get it. Fair enough. Just stay where you are supposed to stay and we won’t have a reason to interact” I say getting up. He goes to grab my arm again “uh-uh no touching. Because I have been wound tight all week and right now is not the time for part of you to graze me” I say turning to face him. “you don’t think that I don’t feel the same way… you put me in quite the predicament on Friday night and I can’t stop thinking about how your hand felt.” His voice begins to rise as he turns to face me fully. “I can’t stop thinking about your lips felt against mine or how your body felt so well pressed into mine the first day I walked these halls.” He drops his head. “this” he points between us “whatever is growing between us needs to stop before we get hurt by our own people. Stay in the cafeteria and I’ll stay outside. Deal?” he asks.

“deal” I call over my shoulder heading inside. I can’t help the screaming in my head, the churning of my stomach, but most importantly I can’t help the sinking of my heart and I don’t understand why… because it shouldn’t hurt like this… not when you were supposed to just be a way to push the rules. Away to regain my control within myself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

part 4 ?

[rappaccini]

tua 1x04 rewatch

now a twitter thread.

so, right off the bat, the title, ‘man on the moon’ is in reference to luther. this is his episode, about how he became who he is today.

and immediately ‘blood like lemonade’ by morcheeba plays. the song’s about a once-righteous man who becomes a bounty hunter. applied to luther, that’s basically what he’s become for reginald. 

0:00: so, this first shot sweeps up luther’s body, which he no longer has (and clearly once loved a great deal), and is set ‘seven years ago’ (circa 2012). 

continuity error: luther’s awake, in his old body, when vanya publishes her book circa 2014, but according to show canon, in 2012 he goes into a coma and has his body transformed. 

.............. so.... which is the truth.

0:54: luther checks allison’s room, then klaus’s. he keeps hoping that he won’t be alone, and that he’ll wake up and everyone will be together again. also, klaus’s room has already absorbed vanya’s. 

1:25: static shots of the empty mansion. no one’s here but him. 

1:30: pulling back on luther in the underground kitchen, making him as small in the frame as he feels.

1:56: luther, manchild, riding his bike indoors, one of the things you never let your kids do. 

2:35: reginald won’t even make eye contact with him. he could honestly care less.

2:40: luther wants to be referred to by his name, and reginald stares at him oddly. he isn’t used to seeing him express that kind of autonomy. 

3:03: grace’s clear robo-nurse smock looks like something a barbie doll would wear. additionally, i’m assuming that she and reginald handled all the kids’ physicals.

4:30: luther wakes up alone, with his new body.

5:06: i get the sense that the music box was only there for the ‘umbrella academy’ intro but if we assume someone in-universe put it there, god what a dick move.

5:26: the transition from luther waking up from his coma alone, to luther, clearly dreaming about that incident, waking up to allison. progress!

5:42: allison incorrectly assumes that hazel and cha-cha killed grace. diego for fuck’s sake you have to tell people when you euthanize mom.

luther’s sad to see that grace has died. yes, he argued for turning her off, but this isn’t what he wanted at all.

6:28: luther thinks that reginald “saved [his] life” with the operation, which only made him more loyal to him. he hasn’t totally processed that regianld was the one who sent him on that mission in the first place.

6:58: another shot from the ~wow everyone look how abusive luther is~ library that, when in context is... luther, removing allison’s hand from his face because he does not want her to touch him. he’s holding her wrist, not squeezing it. jeez.

7:40: leonard slipped out vanya’s meds while she was sleeping.

also, vanya thinks she’s taking the medication for nerves.

8:10: leonard: “i don’t think my dad ever forgave me for even being born.” man. 

also in the background you can see some lorem ipsum still on a billboard. whoops!

8:41: i do really like leonard and vanya’s dynamic here. i do think that they could’ve been a good pair if things had gone a little differently. 

9:50: klaus being too kinky to torture. jesus christ this show’s horny.

towel on tighter than sam’s in until dawn.

“they don’t tell me shit... i’m the one person in that house that nobody will even notice is gone.” i can hear the sound of a thousand rabid klaus stans unzipping their jeans to that. 

and... a few things: 1) is klaus telling the truth? or is he bullshitting to get out of being tortured?

2) if he is being genuine, then it does let on something interesting about how klaus views himself and the family. 

3) he’s a drug addict. of course they can’t trust him with serious information, or tell when he’ll be coming or going.

4) .... ‘only person’ huh. totally ignoring vanya, huh. making it more about you, huh. telling.

11:25: again if the commission just fucking treated their workers well, everything would’ve worked out for them.

12:06: diego... waiting outside his ex’s apartment all night.... yeah. look, the chemistry is charming between these two but good lord i hate their relationship. they are a bad. fit.

i do like this moment they have, where they talk about grace, and he comes to her for comfort. 

‘i don’t know.... i don’t know how to...’ -- diego’s fucked emotions. he can’t wrap his head around what he’s feeling at all. wish the show did something with this very big very interesting character flaw.

13:39: diego’s pissed the fuck off that hazel and cha-cha invaded his house. as much as he likes to pretend otherwise, he cares a lot about his family. 

... do you think diego washes that uniform at all.

14:40: my god allison really DOES wear several outfits every day. she’s changed from that fuzzy sweater to the blue skirt. 

allison bursting into vanya’s apartment is done out of genuine concern... but she is violating those boundaries. leonard is too, but he’s the only one who really gets that looked at. especially given that allison breaks into leonard’s house later, i feel like it was a big missed opportunity.

i do love that they’re basically just two kettles calling each other black in this scene.

18:26: luther and diego’s fight. they’re both so similarly stuck in their ways. also, diego digging at luther being stuck on the moon because of his disfigurement is a real low blow.

~luther is abyouuuusive~ bingo card next spot: ‘omg he punched the wardrobe right next to diego how mean’-- no one actually got hurt, diego’s totally unfazed, and he was provoking a reaction from luther by calling him a ‘monster’ because of how he looks. both are in the wrong here.

so according to diego, luther went to the moon for four years, and according to the flashback, he was disfigured seven years ago so... he was in a coma for three years. 

“when you watch one of these nature shows... does it turn you on?” wow. this show is... very horny.

“sorry pogo” “sorry pogo” they’re KIDS. 

20:20: ben, now that klaus is less-high, is starting to emerge more from that hoodie. it’s also slightly lighter shade of gray.

21:50: beat klaus up and he won’t talk, but take away his drugs and he’s yours.

22:50: this drug sequence was so much fun. i love the ridiculous camera angles and the splitscreen.

23:20: luther tries the door and gets upset when it’s locked. diego picks the lock. 

and the stupid, childish way they both try to cram in at once, and luther points to being ‘one’ is so fucking funny. they are big. dumb. kids.

25:01: five scurrying after the lab and then getting absolutely blasted by the fire.

25:33: the tabloids show claire and patrick (a good value chris evans lookalike), looking happy, with the caption: “patrick to allison: ‘we’re doing fine!’ after coming through difficult times, life is looking bright for this father-daughter duo.’’ plus, allison in an inset with “no reason to look back” in the corner. 

so clearly... patrick and claire are doing great without allison. 

and given the coverage the magazine has of the breakup, with allison being america’s sweetheart, they’re trying to give it a positive spin. the tabloid is rooting for patrick, as opposed to allision.

this is the first time we see patrick, and him looking like a diet luther isn’t lost on me.

26:02: allison had vanya’s keys in her hand, waiting to give them to her. she’s trying and failing to act casual. that or, they just didn’t block it right.

more of my allison salt: she should not be acting so chill about seeing an image of her family moving on without her. she should not be so fine with not rumoring. i keep thinking of an alternate version of this scene where allison rumors the magazine stand guy to get rid of all the tabloids with her family on it bc she’s bitter and guilty and man that would’ve worked better.

28:16: i’m not sure how old klaus was when he was locked in the mausoleum. 8-10 looks about right.

also the show does a great job showing how scary seeing ghosts can be for a kid.

ben hates “watching [his] brother take for granted everything [he] lost and pissing it away” ---.... was ben always this chipper, or was that brought on by being dead? also... how did ben die? because at this point suicide’s one of my top guesses.

30:40: ‘your brother says hi’ -- this is a trap, by the way, set for five by hazel and cha-cha. 

30:50: i love this fisheyed shot of diego and luther looking for five. 

diego lets on that he left the academy at 17. i’m not sure if the academy broke up all at once, or in pieces, but it’d make sense for it to be the former.

luther thinks diego left because he was angry that luther was the leader.

diego, now at 29, thinks he left because he decided to become a grown-up... but was that the case at the time? especially given that, as luther says, his being an adult is questionable at best. 

luther stayed because he “couldn’t let go of the way things used to be.” 

oh look, diego being cool about luther and allison’s relationship. 

33:00: the birth of boob man five.

also. five coped with losing out on the meritech lead by going day-drinking and passing out in a library. 

plus: five didn’t see that false lead left for him by hazel and cha-cha, so he either didn’t go back to the van at all and had the book and delores elsewhere, or he only checked the back. or, it’s a bit of a plot hole.

also, five came to the argyle because this is where he lived in the apocalypse. he fucked up, and felt like he had to come home. 

33:19: allison and vanya day-drinking and talking shit about the men in their lives, we love to see it.

allison asking whether leonard would “jerk off on [vanya’s] mr. snuggles teddy bear” from which we can discern 1) vanya has a teddy bear named mr. snuggles and 2) god this show is horny.

‘sometimes men are unredeemable shits’ ‘well maybe, but i like this one’ -- vanya’s shitty taste in men activating.

“he saw something in me that no one else did” -- why vanya likes leonard, and why allison loves luther. and, a thing that allison’s been lacking ever since she left home, where she’s been pretending to be a glossed-over version of herself.

oh look, vanya being cool about alluther. 

it is just so neat to see these two next to each other. they have such different silhouettes.

35:47: ben’s pose on this bed. that man is flirting.

36:23: god look at reginald’s dumb fucking hat.

also, klaus having flashbacks to his time in the crypts whenever he sobers up? ouch.

37:50: ... so... the guy at the motel desk is right. eudora technically isn’t allowed to be at the motel poking around without a warrant. she should not be here, especially not on her own.

this bit here... combined with the ~loosen up~ aspects of her story make me think... so. she was a ‘good cop’ who played by the rules, but eventually gave into the temptation to be like diego and became one who oversteps. and that literally got her killed.

‘i could use some backup’ so call your coworkers???? not diego???

i have no idea how the writers seemed to forget about this. it feels like a very obvious first step to a ‘you know what being a vigilante actually doesnt’ help at all’ arc for diego that just goes nowhere. 

39:02: drunkass five flopping, clumsily grabbing delores.

when diego and luther get along, they get shit done.

“i’m going through puberty, twice” -- so, this five isn’t like the comics-five, who can’t age at all. this was probably specifically included to let the audience know that they’re gonna see him grow. or, if they were worried at the time about finding a good child actor to play him, they were building escape tunnels to explain why he Suddenly Looks Different or Suddenly Is Older if they recast him in later seasons.

and, if they kept him, it was a way to handwave five suddenly being a foot taller with a different face and voice one season later.

regardless, he can age. 

“i’m the four frickin horsemen” ..... to vanya’s apocalypse. god bless this ship it keeps giving.

40:50: .... and... some salt: i think ben’s dialogue here is just real cringey. idk if it’s the direction or the delivery or just what’s written but... ‘~you haven’t been this sober since you were a teenager, since you decided to keep the ghosts at bay~’ sounds like nothing a person would actually say, and more like clumsy exposition that isn’t really needed.

there was a smarter way to go about this that didn’t require ben staring into the camera and saying ‘by the way this is what klaus is about to do’

also... if victims follow their killers as ghosts... did klaus have something to do with ben’s death?

41:45: vanya’s ‘small’ apartment is bigger and fancier than any i could think of.

vanya and allison like chocolate covered raisins. guess men isn’t the only thing they have bad taste in.

43:39: i also wish they made leonard flushing vanya’s meds a little less... obvious? with the leonard plot it seems like they lean so hard into ‘do you get it yet? he’s bad! he’s bad! do you get it? that he’s bad?’ that it feels too preachy. it could’ve been handled in a much subtler way. 

45:20: hazel having spared jan mueller’s wife being a hope spot for hazel’s character is a nice touch. 

48:00: and god eudora... should not be here. 

50:00: i do give them credit for setting up a good standoff, and giving it some good payoff.

klaus left her to die. he left her ass and isn’t sorry about it when he learns she died later this season. we never talk about that.

50:39: klaus just wants the briefcase to be full of money, to sell for drugs.

seeing him vanish was a lot of fun, and also, is kenny’s mom being a reused extra... intentional? or is it just a little easter egg? guess we’ll see.

51:00: ‘if i didn’t know better i’d say he looks almost adorable in his sleep.’ - diego. aww.

52:12: diego has yeeted knives at al before.

i do like the touch of five and klaus being mixed up by the brothers.

luther, staying put to look after five while he’s sleeping? love that.

53:00: god i hate that eudora was fridged. god i hate that it ultimately means nothing bc diego doesn’t learn shit from this. god i hate this plot.

but it’s at least shot and acted really well. like, the actors make this shit work as well as they can. the first time i saw this scene i was crying.

also, ‘this year’s love’ playing over it? nice.

out of all the episodes, this is my least favorite so far. there’s just a drop, from one and two being great, to three being good, to four being okay. all the holes are starting to show.

101 | 102 | 103 | x | 105 | 106 | 107 | 108 | 109 | 110 | overall | looking forward

[haloud]

any other rose

ao3

With Dad in a coma and Flint nowhere to be found, Alex takes a leave of absence from Roswell to check on the other ducks in this particular row. He goes alone, though Kyle offers to come with him, puffing his chest up like that jock he used to be, only this time it’s to protect Alex from theoretical threat, and it’s frankly fucking adorable. He doesn’t even tell Michael he’s leaving until he sends him a text at a rest area a hundred miles away to tell him he’ll be back within two days.

This is something Alex has to do for himself. He needs information, something more tangible than what he can read off his computer screen, before he declares open war. His family may be hateful to the core, maybe, maybe, but a lot can change in relatively little time, and Alex just—can’t keep walking blind not knowing who his actual enemies are.

As Flint so eloquently put it, Alex has always been the black sheep of the family. His brothers, well, they toed the line much more skillfully, and grew closer together because of it. When Alex sets out to track down his two oldest brothers, he first runs into a wall. The eldest, Harlan? His military records check out up until the very recent present, then he just disappears. Definitely concerning, but maybe he just turned into a doomsday prepper and is living in a bunker made out of nonperishable food somewhere in the Midwest.

Robert, in contrast, doesn’t appear to be hiding his tracks at all. His whole life unspools for Alex in a perfectly neat paper trail—which is funny, because Robert is the one who hasn’t spoken to anyone in the family since 2013, making the possibilities frankly endless. Deep cover? Maybe, but his credit card activity is bland and consistent every statement Alex rifles through. A fight or falling out with Dad, Harlan, or Flint? Well, Flint doesn’t have the backbone to really ‘fall out’ with anyone, and if it was a fight with Dad then the old bastard would have taken it out on the rest of them tenfold. Harlan is a distinct possibility, but what might be so bad that both of them would drop off the grid, with Robert maintaining a convincing facsimile of civilian life?

No, there are two possibilities that Alex deems actually likely.

First: Robert is as neck-deep in conspiracy, murder, and torture as Dad and Flint, and he cut off contact with the family as a minimalization of risk. If one arm of Project Shepherd gets discovered, then a manufactured estrangement offers plausible deniability that the others had no knowledge of it whatsoever.

The second possibility has Alex pacing his floor at three in the morning more nights than he’d like.

(Why? Why? The world went dark around him as he stared at his computer screen with his hand over his mouth, staring at the name of a niece he’s never met. Aubrey Alexandra Manes. Why?)

A phone call would be too much warning, would give Robert time to hide or come up with a story. So Alex just finds his address, gets in the car, and goes searching for answers. What he finds is a simple ranch house six hours out of Roswell, one with a flag hanging from the porch and a slightly overgrown yard full of soccer goals and Barbie jeeps and other childhood detritus.

Maybe Robert knew to expect him somehow; maybe he just wasn’t expecting a car in the driveway at this time of day and therefore came out to inspect it. Either way, Alex doesn’t even make it up the porch stairs before Robert opens the door and brings them face to face for the first time in a long, long time.

“Alex!”

The shock would almost be funny, if Alex wasn’t bracing for either a punch or a bullet.

“Hey, big bro,” he says, curling his mouth in a deliberate smile. “It’s been six years since I got a courtesy Christmas phone call. What’s new in your life?”

Face thunderous, Robert steps over the threshold and closes the door behind him. “Cut the crap. Believe it or not, I’ve been following your career. I know you could find out anything you wanted about me, and hell, I know you probably did. So it’s you that needs to start talking.”

Alex nods pensively. Reevaluates. Strange, to be properly estimated by a family member. It is true, though—Alex never would have gone in blind, and the research he did produce some interesting results.

Six years ago, Robert stopped coming to holidays. He stopped picking up the phone. He made polite, manly excuses whenever their dad pressed him, but he made those excuses every single time. And what did Alex find when he went looking? A birth certificate for a little girl, dated 2013; immunization forms; preschool and elementary registration; another birth certificate dated two years later. Aubrey Alexandra. So yeah, Alex knows, as if the yard cluttered with toys wasn’t enough of a clue. What he doesn’t know is why, so that’s what he’s here to find out.

“What’re their names?” Alex asks casually. He keeps his hands still at his sides, empty and loose. Not a threat. He has no interest in making Robert fear for his family, and if he’s being generous, he knows that Robert has no more reason to believe Alex isn’t working under their father’s orders than Alex has to trust him.

“Hope and Aubrey,” Robert says, the like you don’t already know hovering understood between them. He takes a step forward and shoves his hands in his pockets, shrewd soldier’s eyes scanning Alex just as much as Alex scans him. It’s a little strange, more so than Alex expected, to discover that Robert actually is a stranger now, not frozen at eighteen and stocky and mean-spirited.

Robert doesn’t move forward like he’s making threats. He presumably came outside because he felt either surprised or threatened by an unexpected vehicle in the driveway, but he isn’t even wearing a holster. Not even the suggestion of a weapon on his person. Is he the kind of military father who locks his guns away? Their dad was never that conscientious—presumably because it builds character for a little kid to accidentally shoot himself; either that or he just assumed his boys were too scared to go near anything of his. A fair assessment.

But what is a fair assessment of Robert? Maybe he just thinks girls can’t handle exposure to guns—safer parenting, to be sure, but still indicative of a toxic mindset. After all, Robert would’ve gotten suspended three times for snapping girls’ bra straps if dear old dad hadn’t intervened every single time.

“And are they why you’ve been MIA all this time?” Alex asks, point blank.

“You’re going to have to tell me why you’re here before I give you any information about my children. That’s non-negotiable.”

“Fair.” Alex holds his hands up in surrender, then lowers them as Robert takes another step his way.

“Are you here because of dad.” The question falls flat, like he doesn’t really want the answer. Robert’s face is inscrutable, his tone still thinly pleasant, but something darker lurks beneath the surface.

“In a manner of speaking.” Alex tilts his head and looks his brother up and down. Robert’s put on a little weight since the photos Alex saw from his last deployment; he’s got laugh lines around his eyes. They’re all of them getting older, but Alex—once again wrong-footed, and he’s getting increasingly frustrated with himself—Alex never expected Robert to wear his age so openly. “I’m doing a little reconnaissance. You see,” this time it’s Alex who steps forward, “Last time I saw Flint, it was in a secret torture prison our father has been running for decades, and he had a gun to my head. Harlan appears to have gone off the grid, so one can only guess what’s going on there. Which leaves…you. I thought it was high time we had a little reunion, bro.”

Genuine shock flicks over Robert’s face, and his eyes dart up and down Alex’s body as if looking for injuries. He is a military man, however, so the emotion is quickly replaced with more grim impassivity. “What kind of information are you looking for? Are you in danger right now? God damn it, Alex, my family—”

“Aren’t home at the moment, and I will happily be long gone before they get back. This is about our family, not yours. Hope won’t need to be picked up from school until 2:30, and your wife takes Aubrey to Tiny Tots ballet classes after preschool from one to three every Monday and Thursday. No one knows I’m here; if you’ve really been following my career, you know I know how to cover my tracks. I didn’t come here to make threats, Robert.”

“Then why are you here? You seem to know pretty much everything already.”

Alex feels a pang of…actual guilt at the fear lurking on Robert’s face, in his defensive posture, in the way he clenches his hands compulsively in his pockets. Rattling off his kid’s routines like that…might have been an excessive show of force, and Alex grimaces at himself. Robert is a soldier, sure, but somehow…somehow Alex forgot that not everyone has been unraveling earth-shattering revelations for the past year. He dug into Robert’s life remembering the dick who did shit like flushing his toothbrush down the toilet and dying all his clothes pink because he was ‘basically a girl anyway, right?’, and he did it expecting to find yet another monster with Alex’s same blood pumping through his veins.

He needs to remember: high school. Ten years to the left. Alex nods sharply to himself. He went about this the wrong way—it’s a reunion, not an op. If it goes poorly, he walks out of here with better knowledge of his enemy and the exact same amount of family he walked in here with. Nothing to lose.

“I just needed to see for myself, I guess. The reason why you haven’t even talked to dad in over half a decade. Or me. I don’t know about Harlan and Flint, but I’m guessing they’re getting the same treatment?”

Robert thinks for a minute, then he jerks his chin towards the rocking chairs squeezed into the corner of the narrow porch. “I’m not inviting you inside just yet, but I’ll get us some beers. We can sit out here and talk.”

Alex takes a seat in one of the rocking chairs and rests his hands on his knees. In between the two large chairs are two little ones, painted all kinds of crazy colors, sponge-stamped with bunnies and butterflies and dinosaurs. A pang of—something echoes deep in his chest. Can you be nostalgic for something you’ve never, ever had?

“Okay.”

Robert sticks a beer in Alex’s face. It’s already open; Alex sniffs it, swishes it in his mouth, holds it on the back of his tongue before swallowing. Well, if Robert was keeping undetectable poisons around on the off chance he got to slip it into Alex’s drink, he probably wouldn’t be walking around without a gun. Alex takes a real swig and waits for Robert to start talking.

His brother doesn’t look at him, just stares into the middle distance as he says, “You might remember Alanna, my wife. I think you met her a couple times.”

“Of course. Dad didn’t ‘approve of her family,’” Alex says with a thin, sarcastic smile. The real reason, of course, is that Alanna is black, but Jesse would never be so uncouth as to say something like that outright. No, it’s always dogwhistle central with that man.

Robert snorts and spits in disgust, the largest show of emotion he’s displayed since Alex pulled into the driveway. “Yeah. Fucking hell. You and I both know how deep Dad’s hatred runs. For everyone and everything that doesn’t march to his fucking tune.”

Alex folds his hands in his lap and does a terrible job of keeping the knives out of his voice. “Of course. I just wasn’t sure how you would approach the topic. Of hatred, that is, since I was the only member of the family not invited to the wedding.”

It’s surprisingly difficult to get the words out. How many times is he going to have to go through this? First with Flint, now…Robert may not have pulled a gun on him (yet), but it’s still a piece of Alex’s soul that gets chipped away bringing up this old pain. ‘Don’t you ever get tired of being the black sheep,’ Flint said, and the answer is, frankly, not fucking likely, considering the standards set by the other Manes men past and present. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to be alone, doesn’t mean he didn’t feel the lump in his throat and the pain in his chest when he saw the wedding pictures on Facebook and realized he was deliberately excluded.

Alex clenches his fists on top of his knees and gets pissed at himself for showing even that much of a reaction.

Robert cuts his eyes away, clenching his jaw. Finally, he says, “Fuck. God damn.”

“No, I get it.” Alex forces a laugh. “Couldn’t have the gay gaying up your big day. We’re not here to talk about me. Forget I brought it up.”

Shaking his head sharply, Robert says, “I’m airing old shit, and I’m doing it once, then we’re getting back on topic. I didn’t invite you to the wedding because Dad already invited himself, you had just gotten stationed far away from Roswell, and I didn’t want to put you back in his path. That’s the sum of it. End of story.”

An ugly laugh, a real one this time, busts out of Alex’s chest. God, that’s even more rich than Flint’s bullshit about protection!

“I’m serious,” Robert snaps. “’Lanna opened my eyes to a lot of shit, okay? I won’t pretend I was some kind of amazing fucking ally back then, but I wasn’t afraid of your gaying, got it?”

And Alex wants to fight back. He does. He’s still owed a fucking pound of flesh. But in the back of his mind, he thinks—Aubrey Alexandra. And it gets him back on track. It even lets him see the humor, because, come on, Robert saying gaying like that is pretty fucking funny.

“Okay. Apology accepted,” he says, one last snark because Robert never actually apologized, and the way he looks away again says he knows that. “Tell me more about Alanna.”

“Right. Well. So anyway, she knew what she was marrying. Dad gave her the fucking creeps, but she married me anyway.” He fiddles with the label of his beer and quite obviously tries not to smile. “And we did the happy family thing for a while. I was deployed; the distance was hard. She felt a lot of pressure to be the right kind of military wife, but she had zero support. I was wrapped up in myself. The missions, the medals. I was a shitty husband, a shitty partner.” He drains his beer, then stares at the bottle like its emptiness is a personal betrayal. “Between deployments, she gave me the ultimatum. Couples counseling—completely non-military—or that’s it.”

“You went to a therapist?” Alex blurts. Robert? The guy who would lurk outside the guidance counselor’s office and trip kids if they came out crying? Maybe Alex should have done a deeper dive into whether or not Robert could have had alien contact.

Robert snorts and shakes his head. “I deserve that. God I was an absolute fucking cock as a kid. And as an adult. But Alanna gave me something to fight for, and damn if she didn’t push me to fight for it. I don’t know. I didn’t understand half the crap the shrink said. But I listened. Followed orders. Not so hard.”

“But you still had some contact with dad in that time. You didn’t go radio silent until several years after you and Alanna married.”

“He’s not an easy man to say no to. When his number would come up in my phone…”

Robert’s jaw clenches hard and tight. Alex hopes he has good dental.

“I always picked up. Autopilot. But the shrink helped me realize trying to be like Dad was…well, in real terms, ruining my fucking life.”

Damn. Alex is gonna find this therapist and send an annual fruit basket.

“And then Alanna got pregnant?” he prompts; Robert nods curtly.

“Changed my whole life. Scared me shitless, too, I don’t mind telling you. I was just working out how fucked our whole upbringing was, and now it was my turn? God.”

“So that’s the story? That’s why it’s been six years since you acknowledged any of us?”

Robert looks at him dead-on for the first time since they sat down. He looks like Dad. He really does. The same squarish face, the same thin mouth, the same soldier stoicism. But there’s a softness in the next words he says that Alex never once heard come out of their father’s mouth, and it shakes something in Alex’s very core.

“I got kids of my own now, man. And I work with kids too, or around them. Eighteen, nineteen years old. And I think about how dad treated us. I’m not exposing Hope and Aubrey to that. Not ever.”

“Good reason to avoid Dad, then. But what about the rest of us? Harlan, Flint? Me?”

Shrugging, Robert says, “I talked to Harlan a while longer, since we were closest as kids. But he got weird, man, I don’t know. And Flint…ended up I couldn’t trust him one bit. If I talked to him at all, he’d hand the phone over to Dad, and I didn’t want this shit getting that messy.”

“And me?”

Aubrey Alexandra. A little slice of Alex’s world has been disorienting and surreal ever since he read that name. Aliens are one thing, but having a niece that’s carrying his name—Alex doesn’t know how to live in that world. He has to hear it out of Robert’s own mouth, this brother he didn’t know he had at all.

A huge sigh gusts out of Robert’s chest. He goes back to staring into the middle distance. It’s a long while before he says, “I told you already that I’d started realizing Dad was fucked up.”

He cuts off there like there’s something physical blocking the words, and Alex waits for him to continue.

Finally, he says, “That was a hard thing to come to terms with. I always thought Dad was what made us into men, you know? If times were hard, well, they had to be, to toughen us up. But it turns out Dad was just an abusive fuck. So then what good is any kind of lesson he ever taught us? What good is being any kind of man he’d be proud of, when I’ve got ‘Lanna and two baby girls I could be making proud instead?” He sighs heavily. “So that’s why. I wanted them to be proud of me, and there’s nothing to be proud of in the way I treated you. The way I let you be treated. I thought about calling you up, but I was too damn cowardly to dial the phone, and somewhere along the line I convinced myself it would be better if I just let you live your own life without fucking bullies sandbagging you.”

Alex takes a moment.

In that moment, Robert runs his hand over his close-shaven skull three times. He bounces his leg, stops himself, and bounces again. He brings his beer up to his mouth like he’s forgotten already that it’s empty.

And Alex just…breathes.

Flint carried his orders like absolution so he could sleep at night. With Robert being such an unknown after six years of radio silence, Alex thought he was prepared for all eventualities this reunion might come to, but turns out he wasn’t actually prepared at all. Not for the reality of the two little rocking chairs, allowed to be bright and clumsy. Not for a version of his brother that sees the world with open eyes.

“You going to say anything?” Robert finally says gruffly.

“I saw Aubrey’s birth certificate when I researched you.” Alex swallows and tries to wet his throat with the beer, but it’s gone flat. Ugh. Still, he won’t back down. “Aubrey Alexandra.” Saying the name out loud chokes him up, just a little bit, and he forces it back down like he learned to do a long time ago. “You could have just called me.”

Robert ducks his head to hide his own too-bright eyes, and that sheepish, honest gesture cracks deep in Alex’s chest to feed some very small, very young part of him.

“Yeah,” Robert mumbles. “I know I should’ve—asked you. Or just not. But I was all emotional ‘n shit. It felt right at the time.”

“All right.” Alex shoves his emotion unceremoniously aside. He has the information he came for, so it’s once more time for action. The fact is that no matter how skilled Alex is at covering his tracks, his presence has the possibility of putting Robert’s family in danger. Until Dad is dealt with for good; until Flint and Harlan are neutralized; Alex can’t be a part of his brother’s life, or his wife’s, or the lives of his nieces.

Something else to fight for, then. As if he needed more motivation.

Alex gets swiftly to his feet, and Robert mirrors the motion.

“You’re leaving?” He blurts out, and something like grief, chased by acceptance, runs across his face. God, Alex almost wants to do a double take every time he sees honest emotion in eyes like those. But it’s time he gave credit where credit is due.

“I should,” Alex says. “I promised I wouldn’t put your family in danger before I heard your story, and I intended to keep that promise no matter what you said to me. But now it is imperative that you listen.”

He puts his hand on his brother’s shoulder for what may be the first time in their entire lives. Robert swallows.

Alex says, “Do not change a single thing about your routine. Do not tell anyone I’ve been here. When it’s safe, I will contact you—and at that time, it’s your decision if you want me in your children’s lives or not.”

He can see every single question in Robert’s face. Pride and anger tense him up, but, miracle of miracles, Alex also gets to watch him let them go.

Fruit basket. Seriously. Maybe an Edible Arrangement, for the actual miracle worker.

“How much danger are you in?” Is all Robert demands, voice still gruff with emotion.

“No more than usual. Don’t you know I love to live dangerously?” Alex says breezily, but Robert doesn’t unclench. Great, just what he needs—another person in his life taking his safety seriously when there are things that need to get done. Alex gives a fond roll of his eyes and lets his hand fall off Robert’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” he says, honestly, as Robert follows him off the porch and to his car.

“Pretty sure you don’t get to thank me for anything ever. I basically owe you for life.”

“Well, then, get started on your debt and give me that ‘you’re welcome’ you owe me just now.”

“You’re welcome.” He hesitates, swallows a couple times. Then he raps the top of Alex’s car and chokes out: “Drive safe, kid.”

Alex drives home in a different world than the one he drove up in. He barely notices the miles fly by, and when he gets home to Roswell, everything still looks the same, no matter how impossible that is.

Still, life goes on. A week later, a letter comes for him at the base. The return address makes him furious—how’s Robert made it this long if he can’t follow a simple order for his own good?—but he can’t hold onto that anger as soon as he sees what’s inside.

The thick envelope contains three sheets of paper and a fridge magnet—just a generic #1 Uncle! design, but it still hits him hard right in the chest. The first page of the letter is covered in small, need script he doesn’t recognize—Alanna’s, most likely. The next page he unfolds is covered in a child’s deliberate print, and he puts that aside too, gently, reverently, so he can read it later and savor every word. The last page is covered in drawings, big and bright; god, he’s gotten more medals than he knows what to do with, but he’s never felt as honored as he does now by the fact that clearly Aubrey busted out a brand-new pack of markers for this. And the magnet—he’s going to put these on his fridge, like that’s something that exists in his life—and now it does, this part of his family he thought was closed off to him forever.

And his world is different now. A little brighter, a little bigger, a little fuller.

Now all he has to do is protect it.

[thepinkwriterr]

Loner // IT 2017 Chapter Ten

Live - Lightening Crashes

--

I can feel It comin' back again like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind forces pullin' from the center of the earth again I can feel it.

//

He pulled away from the kiss, rubbing the back neck of his neck. “Uh…Sorry…” “No, no, I liked it.” I smiled. “Really?” He laughed nervously. “Oh yeah.” I grabbed his hand and led him to the bed.

I pushed him down, straddling his hips. “Is this alright?” I asked as I kissed his neck. “Yeah…” He trailed off. Lightening Crashes by Live croons softly in the background as he flips me over, kissing my neck.

Dani’s POV

I woke up to the sun filling the gaps my blinds created. Round Here by Counting Crows blasted from downstairs. Hm, James must be up. I got up, pulling on a green shirt and jeans rolled at the ankle.

I made my way down the stairs, the smell of pancakes filling my nose. As I entered the kitchen I saw Kali’s school stuff on the table and James making breakfast. Kali was sitting on the counter in her black sleepwear.

“Hey,Dani,” Kali hopped off the counter,”Can I borrow some clothes?” “Of course. Me aramrio es su aramrio.” I smiled. “Moi bien!” James joked, turning to face me.

Kali clomped up the stairs. “Hows it hangin?” I asked as James sat a perfectly circular pancake on a ceramic plate and handed to me.

He shrugged,”Nothin’ much, how about you?” He asked as I grabbed the syrup. “Boy drama.” I sighed, coating my pancake with syrup. “Who do I need to murder?” James asked. I laughed as he sat across from me.

“I’m serious.” He declared seriously as Kali walked in, wearing fishnet stockings, a black zip-up skirt, and a stripped sweater. “Wow…” I smirked,”Lookin’ hot. White hot.” “Thanks.” She winked.

Kali drove us to school, actually being on time today. “Finally! Friday!” She exclaimed as she exited the car. “I’m excited for that party tomorrow.” “Shit, me too.” Kali laughed.

Mrs. Kub was a smug cunt first period, as usual. I got to second period, Casey no where in site. I looked at Bill from across the room. He smiled back, his wide pink lips turning up at each corner.

Casey and her two friends: Amanda and Chelsea came stomping in. Casey rolled her eyes, sending the others into the same pattern. They mirrored her actions to a tee, to the point of it being just sad.

I rolled my eyes at Bill, throwing a scowl on my face shaking my head the same way they do. He laughed quaintly. Casey look at him, and he shot his head forward to look at the board.

I rolled my eyes again and turned back to the board.

Third period was History. Great, the most boring class ever. I sat through the lesson, wanting to throw my head through the cement wall. The teacher, Mr. Zigler, was explaining our projects toward the end of class. One of Casey’s pets, Amanda, raised her hand, sans Casey. Well, that’s new.

“Yes?” He asked, pointing to her. “Will we be able to work in groups?” He smiled,”I just about to say that. Uh, yes, partners, actually.” Everyone cheered, turning toward their designated “best friend”.

“But, I get to choose who you work with.” He smiled. Everyone stopped, then groaned. “Oh stop! It is not that bad.” He joked. He grabbed his roster, reading off each persons fait.

“-Amanda Shirtz and Dustin Henderson…” Thank god, I’m not with that barbie doll. “Eddie Kaspbrak and Danielle Sinclair…”

What? Eddie? Richie’s best friend? Great! He’s going to hate me.

The bell rang as I looked at the boy. His head was down, his shoulders slumped. I felt bad for the kid, actually. He practically married his mother, he didn’t have many friends, his dad died when he was ten, and everyone made fun of him.

Maybe working with him wouldn’t be so bad.

I walked to my class with haste, as it’s on the other side of the building. Why do I have to run to Gym class, and run again?

After gym class was lunch. I sat next to Kali at out usual table. “Hey.” I said as I sat at a blue stool. She bobbed her head with the music playing from her walkman into her headphones. I pulled off the noise canceling headphones,”Earth to Kali!” “Sorry.” She laughed.

I stopped the tape, popping the tape out of the device. “R.E.M? Did you take my tape?” “Yeah, sorry. I was gonna give it back.” “At least you finally gave into my pleas. I’ve been telling you to listen to this album for months!”

She laughed,”I know. Your bother recommended it this morning, so I looked for it when I was getting dressed.” I rolled my eyes,”You’re a tramp.” She laughed,”So are you.”

After lunch was study hall, which I spent in the library, doing my homework. I heard two people laughing and taking in hushed tones. I looked up to see Eddie Kaspbrak and George Denbrough. I smiled at Eddie, then returned to my work.

There was then loud noises and jokes, coming from a different spot. I looked up to see Richie Tozier, Bev Marsh, and Ben Hanscom. They were fucking around and laughing loudly. I groaned, pulling out the walkman I borrowed from Kali during lunch. I popped in the cassette James made me for my birthday.

Side One:

Tesla - Love Song

R.E.M - Strange Currencies

Smashing Pumpkins - Luna

The Smiths - This Charming Man

Joy Divison - Disorder

Semisonic - Closing Time

Stone Roses - I Wanna Be Adored

R.E.M - Losing My Religion

The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge

Side Two:

Live - Lightening Crashes

Bush - Glycerine

Radiohead - Creep

Foo fighters - Everlong

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Soul To Squeeze

The Smiths - Girlfriend In A Coma

Counting Crows - Round Here

Fleetwood Mac - Storms

Stone Temple Pilots - Creep

Nirvana - Something In The Way

I got to Closing Time when the bell rang. I packed all of my things, and as I exited the library Beverly came up to me. “Hey, you comin’ to the party tonight?” “I thought it was Saturday.” “Yeah, but mine it tonight.” “Yeah, I’ll go.“ I smiled. “Saturday too?” She asked. “Of course! I love parties.” I smiled. “Me too.” She laughed. “See you then.” “See you there.” She waved as she turned the opposite direction of me.

I decided to skip Spanish today. Not for any reason other than that I wanted to sleep. I waited until the bell rang for the last time, and went back to the library.

After sixth period finished, I went to Biology. I wasn’t particularly good at the subject, but I loved the class. After the bell rang I went down to the detention room.

And guess who was there on my last day? You guessed it, Richie!

Thank god we only had half an hour detention today. It was due to the fact the janitor didn’t want to clean around pimple faced teenagers who couldn’t shut their mouths shut long enough to keep themselves out of trouble.

I rolled my eyes at him as I walked into the room. He didn’t move a muscle. I thought that was weird, but I sat down regardless. Five minutes passed. I didn’t hear a word from him.

I turned to face him,”What? No asshole comments for me today?” He looked up at me,”Nope.” I furrowed my brows,”Who are you and what have you done with Richie Tozier?”

He said nothing. I turned back around, but it didn’t feel right.

I shuffled around in my bag and pulled out my headphones and walkman. I stood up, walking over to Richie. I handed him the items. “Here.” I held them out.

He looked puzzled, but took the items anyway. He put on the headphones and hit “play” on the walkman. Lightening Crashes began to play through the large headphones.

I moved my stuff to the seat next to his and sat down.

During the song I saw his eyes grow glassy, tears threatening to take place. The song ended, he took the headphones off. He pressed stop on the tape player.

“I always carry the single, it’s my favorite song.” I smiled weakly. He pushed the walkman and headphones over to me.

I popped the tape out of the walkman and handed it to him. He didn’t say anything, he just engulfed me in a tight hug.

Before I could hug him back, his watch beeped. He grabbed the tape quickly and grabbed his bag, scurrying out of the room.

I sat, utterly confused. After a few minutes I gathered my things and left the room. As I opened the door to the back parking lot, I saw Richie’s blue car. I searched the empty lot for Kali’s car, but I couldn’t find it. I guess she forgot about me.

I dreaded what I was going to do, but I walked over to the old car. I knocked on the window.

I could heard Lightening Crashes playing. Richie’s head was down. He looked up, his eyes tear stricken. He wiped his eyes discreetly, then rolled down his window.

“Hey-uh-your sister isn’t here, so I was wondering if you’d give me a ride home.” “Sure.” His voice broke momentarily. I got into the passenger seat of the little car.

We were silent until the song ended, and then he started the tape over. “I still live on Oak Road.” He nodded at my words. We turned onto my street a few minutes later.

Before I opened the door he ejected the tape, handing it to me. I shook my head,”Keep it.” I opened the door and slammed it, walking up my driveway. I saw Kali’s car on the pavement. She’s waiting for me.

I opened the door, walking into the anti room. I looked back through the window and saw Richie’s car was gone. I slipped off my shoes and walked into the living room.

“Honey, I’m home!” I called into the empty room. “Hm…” I sighed. I went up to my room. Empty. I heard Candlebox coming from my brothers room.

I walked down the steps and made a beeline for his room. I heard Kali’s giggle from the room.

I opened the door to see her straddling his hips. She was shirtless, and he only had boxers on.

“What the fuck?” I yelled, backing away from the door.

[blaizeofglory]

You just woke up from a nap, and the year is 2091...

And damn, that was the best mother fuckin nap you have ever had. You look at your phone and it says '1 unread message'. Well damn, after 73 years you'd think that you'd have more messages.

You open the message to find it was sent 72 years ago. It reads. . .

'By the time you wake up, I have estimated it will be they year 2090, give or take some. You probably feel either really great, or like shit. Oh, this may be a random number, but I am actually a scientist that was told to send you a message so that you wouldn't be confused. . . Im getting off topic. You were put into a coma when a bomb hit and now, you seem to be immortal. Now don't worry, come to (insert address here) and I will fill you in on all the details'

So you think 'Haha this is such a dumb jo-'

You don't finish your sentence as you look out to the "Faction" like city, you know, that one in divergent.

You leave your room, which is surprisingly, guarded by that infamous Four you read in the book Divergent.

"OH SHIT YOUR AWAKE" Four screams as you walk out of your room

"Nice to meet you too" You say with a hell of a lot of sarcasm

"Damn, I thought you would age after 73 years, but i guess i was wrong. Come on, ill take you over to that mad scientist."

"Ok, yeah, that's fine, but what day and month is it?"

"Didn't you check your phone? Its (insert your birth day here)"

"Well happy goddamn birthday to me."

"Okay, that's nice, happy bday, we gotta get going, ill get Tris and tell her that our 'Saviour' has awoken"

Saviour? What the fuck? This is bullshit. Also, maybe if you can split up Tris and Four so you can have Four to myself. So you ask the simplest question," Are you and Tris dating?"

He replies snarkily with," Oh yes, definitely, she's so beautiful I would die for her. She's like 40 years old, im not gonna date her."

Well that worked out better than you thought.

You two make your way to Tris and then go to the scientist that sent the message.

You knock on his door and he yells," I SWEAR IM NOT DOING ANYTHING ILLEG- Oh hi (y/n)."

"Hi?"

"Okay, cool, straight to business. I'm Caleb, this is the 2091 and the current leader is Jeanine Mathews, shes quite hot" what is he, a candor? "We have factions, just like the books you read as a kid. We aren't supposed to know about the books though, so from here on out we call them TB. So we had our brains wiped and now we all take different names and such, also, plastic surgery is forbidden, so that real life Barbie person is so dead, she died like. . . ok ill stop." I turn around to see Four shooting daggers at Caleb with his eyes," So anyways, what's your game plan?"

First fanfic thing I've probably ever done, but I hope you nerds liked it, you can write an ending if you want, I don't really care, lol ttyl

[classic-rock-roller]

1. You’re on the couch with Bonham and the boys one day when someone knocks on the door. You get up to answer it and see a 12-year old girl standing there. “Is there a uh…Mr. DuBrow here?” “Yes, how can we help you?” She looks to her feet before saying, “Well, uh, my mom told me that he’s my dad, and I uh, just wanted to know if I could talk to him? If that’s okay?” Do you let her in, and how do you and the others respond?

“Sure Sweetheart, come in. Kevin! Someone is here to see you!” 

She tells them who she is and Kevin sits there. 

Kevin: That’s...um...how is that possible?

Randy: Pretty easily. You slept with a lot of people.

Bonham: Yeah, it took BabyCarrot to stop you from being a manwhore. 

2. You’re out with Bonham one night when she suggests that you prank call the boys, who are back at your house. Kevin picks up the phone, puts on a phony British accent, and pretends to be the host of his favorite radio show. “Alright, sir, if you can just sing Barbie Girl for us, you’ll win a hundred dollars.” She barely finishes her sentence before he busts out singing. Bonham can barely hold in her laughter. “Oh my God he actually fell for it! And he knows the words!” How do you respond and what happens when he finishes singing?

I’m laughing so hard I can’t say anything. When he finishes Bonham goes, “Thank you. We’ll be in touch with when we can get you the money.” And then hangs up. 

3. Ever since that article came out rumoring that you and Bonham were dating, the press are just going wild with it, even going so far as to include Kevin and Randy in their assumptions. You all find it pretty funny. You all pass a newsstand and a magazine says that Bonham’s sleeping with Kevin. “I thought I was supposed to be sleeping with Kevin.” Randy says. “Dammit, Randy let me have my affair in peace.” Bonham replies. How do you and Kevin respond?

I’m laughing so hard I can’t talk and Kevin goes, “Yeah, Randy, let us have our affair in peace!” 

4. You’re at the reception for Bonham and Randy’s wedding when you see Crue passing money between themselves. “What are you guys doing?” you ask. Nikki explains, “Way back when Bonham and Randy got together we made a bet on whether or not they’d get married. Vince swore they wouldn’t last a month, Tommy thought they’d get married, Mick thinks they’ll get divorced eventually, and I think that they’ll be married for 10 years before something happens. You want in on the action?” How do you respond and what happens when Bonham and Randy stop to greet Crue?

Me: No, That is disgusting you shouldn’t be making money off their happiness. 

Crüe quickly hides the money when Bonham and Randy come up to say hi and I just glare at Crüe and shake my head until Randy and Bonham leave and then say, “I hope you’re happy with yourselves,” before walking away.  

5. Your sister is coming to visit, and Bonham promises she’ll be on her best behavior, even though Kevin is skeptical. The morning that your sister is supposed to arrive, you and Kevin find Bonham in the kitchen pouring whiskey into a mug. “No one will know, because it’s in a coffee cup, shoo do do–oh hey.” she was singing to herself before she turned around and saw you two. How do you two respond?

Kevin: Self-medicating. I should've thought of that. At least we could have survived this visit if we were both drunk. 

Me: Come on you two, she’s not that bad. Plus all three of us can’t be drunk. And I’ll get into a row with her if the both of out are drunk out of your minds.  

6. You get a phone call one day from the owner of a jazz club. “Is this the singer for War Angel?” “Yes, who’s asking?” “My name’s John and I’m the owner of Razzle. I was wondering if you and that sax player of yours would want to do a week’s worth of shows for us? You’d have to study up on swing music. I know it’s a little different than your usual gigs, but we think you’d be great. Whaddaya say, you in?” What do you do and what do Bonham and the boys say?

“Sure that sounds fun, but let me talk to the band first ok?” Bonham and the boys love the idea and while it’s a little hard at first getting used to a new music genre we have a fun time. 

7. Bonham comes bursting into your house one night after a date with Randy. She’s squealing like a schoolgirl until she finally calms down enough to tell you, “He asked me to marry him! Can you believe it!” Before you respond, Kevin comes in and says, “Oh, so you can be a girl. I was starting to wonder.” How do you two respond?

Me: Ignore him. *I pull her to the couch* Tell me everything. I want every last detail. 

Bonham: Ok, well...

She gives me every detail and Kevin rolls his eyes before getting a beer from the fridge and saying, “I’ll see you in bed later. I can tell this’ll be a while.” 

8. You’re waiting for a table at a crowded restaurant with Kevin, Randy and Bonham. It’s a long wait and there’s not much sitting room, so Kevin is standing, you’re sitting, and Bonham’s sitting on Randy’s lap. When it’s time for you all to be seated, Bonham springs up. “Finally, I’m starving.” She starts walking with you and Kevin, and you see that Randy’s still sitting down. “Come on, Randy, let’s go!” Kevin says. Randy uncrosses then re-crosses his legs before saying, “I’d rather uh, not? Right now? I’ll be right back.” before scurrying off. How do the three of you respond?

Kevin: Happens to the best of us. 

Bonham: What? What happened? Where’s Randy?

Me: Oh, he had to go to the bathroom. He’ll meet us at the table in a bit. 

9. Bonham’s still on pain pills for her wisdom teeth, and they’re screwing with her head. At one point, she sits down on the couch rather heavily. “Everything alright?” Randy asks her. “I hate these stupid pills. If this is high, I don’t like it.” she says. Kevin says to her, “You’re just not doing it right.” How do you and Randy respond?

Me: And she will not know the “proper” way to do it, Kevin. I also thought I told you to knock that shit off. We’re not bringing our son into a house with a drug addict for a father. 

Randy: Please don’t teach her the “proper” way.  

10. You thought the WA killer had been apprehended, but when your tour stops in Virginia, you find out that you’re wrong. You’re getting ready for rehearsal when Randy calls you, “They didn’t catch the killer, Bonham got shot twice when she went to the store. You and Kevin should get down here.” How do you two respond and how do you go about this?

Me: Oh my god, ok. ok. ok. 

Kevin: It will be ok. She’s not going to die. 

We rush down there and thank god this guy is a terrible shot he didn’t hit anything vital but they had to put her into a coma. I don’t leave her side. So Erik, Linus, and Daryl handle the statement about the postponing of the tour for a couple months as Bonham gets better. 

11. You’re backstage before a show with QR one night when you hear yelling coming from Bonham’s dressing room. You step out of yours to see what’s going on when she yells really loud, “How dare you upset me this close to showtime!” before running right past you. Randy follows, saying, “Wait, come back!” He stops next to you just as Kevin comes out to see the commotion. What happened and what do the three of you do?

Randy said something about postponing their wedding because it interfered with the tour and he didn’t want to make her super stressed out. 

I tell Randy I’ll go after her to calm her down and Kevin stays back with Randy to keep him from freaking out. 

-------------------

1) You follow after your singer after she storms out after the argument between Nikki and Kevin. You guys walk for about an hour or two until she feels that she can go back to the hotel. When you get back, you find Kevin standing in your hotel room. When your singer asks what he’s doing there, he gets down and says, “I know I was stupid and jealous and childish. But the thought of him taking you from me scared me and I didn’t want that to happen. I was blinded by jealousy and didn’t realize that that was pushing you away.” He pulls out a small gold band. “I know this isn’t much but I can’t get you the one you deserve right now. So, would you marry me?” How does your singer respond and what do you say after watching this whole thing?

2) You and Randy are over at your singer and Kevin’s house for dinner. You, Kevin, Randy, and their boys are eating dinner while your singer is feeding Roxanne. You look over to see Kevin give a weird face before spitting out his food and going, “Oh my fucking god! I just ate a fucking stinkbug!” How do you, your singer, and Randy respond? 

3) You, Randy, and Kevin are sitting on your singer and Kevin’s couch when she comes home from work. She comes up the steps and tosses a magazine into your lap. “You know the friendship’s real when there’s a rumor you’re gay for each other.” You look at the magazine to find a twelve page spread about you and your singer’s relationship. How do you, Randy, and Kevin respond?

4) War Angel has just finished their tour and you all collapse on the bus afterward. With Kevin and Randy bringing all the kids on. Erik goes, “The tour is finally over.” Linus adds, “We haven’t had off in weeks.” And Daryl goes, “Now we have free time.” There’s a lull if silence before your singer says, “God, what the fuck are we going to do?” How do you, Kevin, Randy, and the band respond?

5) Kevin and Randy come home form a guys night out to find you and your singer cuddled on your singer and Kevin’s couch watching a movie. Kevin looks at the two of you and goes, “The two of you look more like a couple than she and I do. And we’re an actual couple.” How do you, your singer, and Randy respond?

6) After Kevin tells your singer they’re not going on a tour with a newborn she goes, “Oh yes we are. I’ve been stuck in this godforsaken city for almost a fucking year fearing for my life from that fucking psychopath out there who still hasn’t been caught because police are incompetent. If I spend one more month in this fucking city I’m going to go fucking insane. We are going on tour. I will perform with her in a strap-on if I have to. I don’t care.” She has a wild look in her eye and this is the first time you’ve seen her like this. She’s scaring Kevin and Randy a bit. How do the three of you respond?

7) You and Randy are over at your singer and Kevin’s house for dinner again and she places mashed potatoes down on the table. You all eat them and once Kevin goes back for seconds she says, “You like them?” Kevin looks at her, “Yeah, I love them.” “Good, because it’s cauliflower.” Kevin stops,”But I hate cauliflower.” “Not that kind apparently.” How do you, Randy, and Kevin respond?

8) Your singer comes out into the kitchen and you and Kevin are sitting at the kitchen table. She immediately goes to the liquor cabinet and pours vodka into her travel mug. You and Kevin look at her and you go, “Babes, are you ok?” Kevin says, “Yeah, isn’t it a little early for you to be drinking? It’s only 8:30.” She turns to you and goes, “I have to work 11 hours today. I’m going to go insane.” She then takes a swig from her mug. How do you and Kevin respond? 

9) You’re about to go onstage for your first concert after your singer gave birth to Roxanne. She kisses Mal and Eddie and then turns to Kevin. He kisses her and then pulls her into a tight hug. He doesn’t let go two minutes later and your singer says, “Kev, you have to let go. We’re supposed to be on in five minutes.” He just hugs her tighter, “I don’t want to let you go.” How do you, your singer, and Randy respond and what do you do to get Kevin off her?

10) The photo of your singer kissing your cheek has blown up and now everyone thinks you’re dating. Eventually, it dies down but one day, Kevin comes home and slaps a magazine on the table. You, your singer, and Randy look at it and it says, “War Angel Sex Tape we have it here!” What does Kevin say and how do you, Randy, and your singer respond?

11) You, Randy, Kevin, and your singer are in an interview and the interviewer asks Kevin, “I’ve seen that you and your wife have just welcomed a wonderful daughter into the world. How does it feel to now be viewed as a family man instead of the hard-partying rocker?” What does Kevin say and how do you, Randy, and your singer respond? 

@osbournebemydaddy   your move Bonham, love 

[catastrothicc]

one of these days i'll make a coherent intro post, however *bts vc* not today !!  hello and welcome to johnny's world where we're shit @ introductions and even worse at consistency. honestly i cant stick to shit someone assist. anyways ! i bring the last piece of the puzzle rocky, who for some unfathomable reason wasn't taken ?? and i cried ?? fate. uh right i'm 19 and i never fkcing learned how to read. mdt timezone. them/they pronouns. continue under the read more to kill some brain cells !! 

tw: physical and mental abuse/manipulation, drugs/alcohol and death/murder. 

here's his soundtrack if u wanna listen while u read 

DON'T DWELL ON THE PAST // ( i'm not even sure if i'm sticking to this [ looks @ admins nervously ] so things might change up if it doesn't fall w/ the right timeline. ) ( forgive the length the muse is real )

born on october 31st, 1995 ( happy halloween ) in deadtree, rocky was an entirely healthy baby received with much love by his mother and with some hesitance by his father. all he knew was how to shit and cry and life was a paradise, until eventually the months started rolling by that became three years and his mother was in a freak car accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down and with a bad case of major head trauma. 

rocky still firmly believes that she woke up from her coma by god's will even if her basic executive function skills and self-regulations were gone. she had to be taken care of just like him, and the doctor's promised she'd learn to eat on her own again and her speech problems would regulate. this... did not happen. maybe it would've, if she had lived longer, but rocky never got to see the day when he didn't have to help his mom bathe or brush her hair. 

his dad was the only source of income in the household besides his mom's monthly pension that the man would take and then disappear for days. he was bitter about having to raise rocky all on his own and even more bitter about the hefty hospital bills they were going to be paying off for the next several years. all the man wanted to do was laze about with a beer in his hand and a blunt in the other. 

from early on he was prone to anger and it often manifested itself physically, so rocky would always have a bruise or two somewhere on his body. it was fine as long as the man wasn't hurting his mom, and he couldn't do anything else but accept the rough treatment. 

he and his mom were becoming more and more neglected by his father, who only provided the bare minimum to eat and took his wife's pills for himself. rocky was already in school and he was that kid who always got off the bus running to get home. no one knew that he always ran to make sure his mom was okay while he was gone. 

he was nine years old when his dad handed him a bottle of morphine and explained to him that the whole bottle would help his mom get a good night's sleep for once. rocky, knowing how much his mom struggled to rest, took the bottle and put each and every pill in his moms hand and watched her drink them until the last one. she did go to sleep, of course. rocky thought he'd done good until she didn't wake up the next morning. 

he grew incredibly distant from his dad after this. he was already used to taking care of himself and his mom was the only reason he really bothered to make it home early, so after her death he got into every after-school activity he could manage, and when it wasn't enough, he ran around the streets with the older kids and pretended to be *cool*.

he started dabbling with the drug scene really early on in middle school, when he realized that his dad would never strive to be anything else but a piece of shit, so he decided to steal his pills and weed just like the man had stolen his mothers medication. he would sell them to his upperclassmen and never took any for himself because he saw what they could do, though eventually he did weed in high school and besides the occasional dose of ecstasy he doesn't do more than that.

one day, at age seventeen, he went home and his dad was gone. he waited for three weeks before he sold everything and fixed up a small abandoned house that became his new abode. with the cash he'd gotten from the car and the furniture he began growing his own hella dank nug, and eventually there was word on the streets about it. his dad had always been his unaware provider, but soon enough rocky joined a group as a dealer while selling his own stuff on the side.

he didn't want to follow under someone else so he got to the roots and offered the group's providers a better deal and eventually the business was going to him alone. people saw more opportunity with him and they flocked to his side one by one until he ran the original leader to the ground. honestly this kid was hella good in school and just as good in the streets. 

of course it didn't happen without a fight tho so talk about several near-death experiences !! the streets are dangerous children stay in school.

fast forward, he had what he intensely regrets with elaine-- honestly had a good time dating a rich ‘good’ girl until he got real bad vibes from her and it wasn't chill anymore. felt real personally attacked that she was ashamed of him and broke it tf off. fuck a fake bitch !! 

( me: plays hero by enrique iglesias for this section ) and then shiloh came ! his lord and savior. his fkcing BAE. would do ANYTHING for this boy is2g makes me so emo i'm shAKING just thinking about it. rocky truly believes this boy is his soul mate. he loves him so much oh my godfjsdh.

at this point his drug ring wasn't at all what it is now. it was relatively small and the profits weren't all that good but he was doing what he could. he had steady members who had been with him since the start and shiloh became an addition along with his best girl giselle and (eventually) barbara. honestly the dream squad nothing could stop them they were invisible. unfortunately there was a snake in their ranks and goddamn he's glad she showed herself honestly good fucking riddance barbie. he felt real betrayed after she left but if anything he thinks it made his crew tighter and stronger. still hates tht bitch tho afTER EVERYTGIH HE DID FOR HER.

( to be 10/10 honest tho rocky is a manipulative bastard and he thinks he's real slick but barbie caught on and he feels extremely attackt )

anyways so knowing that shiloh and giselle are his tru ride or die pals ( 👀 @ giselle ) the business continues and they're still the dream squad. sure they're doing shady af things and they've always been doing them but u kno what they say there ain't no rest for the wicked !! 

he didn't at all like the fact tht shiloh pursued an internship w/ the mulani family but he tried to keep it chill because he loves and supports his bae but honestly could not do it. he doesn't personally pay too many visits to sycamore city precisely bc he goddamn loathes the mulani and moon families after all they've done to his people ( esp the moon’s ) and to think shiloh was getting involved w/ them really tested him as a person. he fcking failed because of how much shiloh wanted a pass into the city and rocky held him back but he's so goddamn proud of their love like damn. he knows he doesn't offer everything shiloh wants but he's out here tryin' his best to get his bae the life he deserves even if he's the worst street rat and everybody knows it. 

( what is he secretly doing w/ all tht money tho hmmm ) 

BABY RIDE WITH ME // in regards to the *gollum vc*  precious ( the ring )

just so the squad and ex-squad can get a feel of how rocky runs the ring i'm includin' this here

so rocky makes it a point to be an approachable leader whom you can go to with your problems and he'll have your back 100%. honestly everyone's dad there's no one left out. he keeps his status as the leader not by cruel acts to show what happens to rats but by making sure he's understood by each individual member. he's not the violent type at all unless someone really tests him but this guy preaches that people understand by words and acts of kindness not by violence and torture. he needs loyalty above all else so he offers a safe sanctuary to anyone who needs it. it comes with a price ofc but all he asks is that u do ur job and he'll keep u off the streets. basically in his group everyone has each other's backs and he's involved with everyone, not only because it helps him keep close tabs on everything but because that blanket of safety for his members is very important to him. 

when it comes to his dealers he basically lets them do things their own way as long as they're not out there hurting innocent people. he pays by commission so it's really up to the dealers how much they wanna sell and who they wanna sell it to. he doesn't force his own morals onto his peeps so if they wanna sell to junkies who are gonna overdose on their next hit then that's really up to them. he just tries to guide them by telling em' the right things to do even in a shady business like their own. 

w/ that being said shiloh is also a huge part of it, being his right hand man and all. rocky isn't all too meticulous or anything fancy like that, so he leaves a lot of decisions up to shiloh and honestly they're both huge dads just running a drug ring fjsiudhfgi 

HE KNOWS HE'S SO FUCKING TALENTED // regarding his personality 

rocky is a cocky piece of shit honestly i hate it but best concept

he genuinely thinks so highly of himself ?? even though he knows he's up to Some Shit ??

anyways i just wanted to mention that LMAO but find his full list of attributes here that i jst ctrl c ctrl v from the app. honestly will tell u all about his personality. thanks for reading this long ass, terribly structured, shitty shitty intro honestly u.... deserve a medal if u got thru it. is it too late to mention tht english is not my first language fhsuidfh 

[skold]

this post is Marina’s List Of Favorite and/or Iconic Music Videos

this could also be subtitled as: if you truly want to understand me as a person, watch these videos because it’ll answer a lot of questions

it’s gonna be a long one so i’ll pop it under a cut

alright we goin by artist then chronological

AIDEN

knife blood nightmare - this is iconic for me simply bc i rly wanted to look like wil in this video so bad in 6th grade.

die romantic - WHAT A BOP. i used to do my black eyeshadow like wil in this video too lmao

ALL TIME LOW

poppin champagne - because blonde alex and also?? honestly?? what a wild video. this is truly late 00s oversaturated pop punk at its finest

i feel like dancin - i’m not the biggest fan of this record or even this song in general but this is like, quintessential all time low to me video-wise. like. it’s everything i want from an all time low video.

ARCHITECTS

follow the water - or as sam carter says, follow the wah-uh. first of all i love that this is in a church. second of all when will i get to go to an architects show this lit here in the states

heartburn - bc they all look pretty. ok. aesthetically on point as well.

AVENGED SEVENFOLD

beast and the harlot - i don’t always bop this song but when i do, the whole cul de sac does too. no but really this was so influential to middle school me i wanted nothing more than a boyfriend who looked like zacky or jimmy and whatever eyeshadows zacky was wearing in this clip

BLINK 182

i miss you - the video that inspired this post. THE AESTHETIQUE. 20′s inspired romantigoth film noir. i don’t yell about this music video enough.

BRING ME THE HORIZON

chelsea smile - it’s literally just a house part video but the song literally defines the year 2009 for me. emetophobia warning at 1:08

it never ends - this video got mad shit but i love it. pretty heavy gore throughout this video

alligator blood - CREEPY ASS AESTHETIC SHIT!!!! i live for it. 16 y/o me had it so bad for matt nicholls and him getting tied up and violated was like, god tier for me

visions - more creepy aesthetic shit. the videos on there is a hell were underrated

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

hey john what’s your name again? - i gotta throw this one in just bc this hurls my ass right back to the year 2008. that bible imagery. those haircuts. it was a better time for music

html rules d00d - THIS SONG STILL SLAPS LMAO DON’T READ ME

ELISSA FRANCESCHI

salt - i’m not crying you’re crying!!! how did anne and christian franceschi manage to spawn two flawless and talented siblings!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I DIE

ebolarama - it’s a performance video in a roller rink what more could you want

wanderlust - you’ve probably caught on to the fact that i love creepy aesthetic shit.

decayin with the boys - THIS VIDEO HAS ME HOWLING. there are too many good moments to list here but the personal highlight is the dude admiring the lesbians making out, then he turns and admires they gays making out at about the 1:30 mark. also the jenga dream sequence. there’s a dick in this video, just a heads up. and a whole bootyass. i love andy williams. mild emetophobia tw at 2:30

FOXY SHAZAM

a dangerous man - eric nally’s screeching was the soundtrack of 2008

i like it - the chorus of this song is literally just “that’s the biggest black ass i’ve ever seen and i like it” and i have nothing more to say

holy touch - it’s a performance video but it’s. different. i really don’t wanna ruin this by saying too much about it. that’s just kinda how foxy shazam were. this song is a fucking banger. yes, they did have a trumpet player in the official lineup.

FRNKIERO ANDTHE CELLABRATION

joyriding - another performance video that’s. different. lmao. aesthetically perfect

GOOD CHARLOTTE 

lifestyles of the rich and famous -  the proletariat banger we weren’t ready for in 2002, but we’re ready now.

girls and boys - old people being punk rock. that’s all.

predictable - i SPECIFICALLY remember watching this on the good charlotte website the day this dropped. THE EARLY 2000S BAD CG IS REAL. i was literally ten years old but i somehow Felt every word of that spoken bridge, man. WHEN THE LITTLE GIRL GIVES JOEL THE ROSE AND IT TURNS BLACK i deadass thought that was so fucking dope y’all

i just wanna live - ignoring the irony of joel whining about being famous, this video had THE MEMES. 

GREEN DAY

longview - iconic simply by virtue of being their first video.

when i come around - ask me about my favorite songs of All Time and i’ll probably mention this one. it’s still great nowadays. i love all the shots of berkeley.

brain stew/jaded - this is such a great piece of art lmao the fucking. sludgy feeling of brain stew going into the chaos of jaded is great on the record, but even better in video form going from being stoned in sepia to tripping acid in an oversaturated cluttered space

walking contradiction - comedy gold

hitchin a ride - creepy weirdness and an iconic bassline. also mike dirnt looks fine as hell in this video

minority - i’m running out of ways to explain that a video is iconic to me purely bc of how important the song was to me at a given time lmao.

american idiot - is there anything i can truly say about this video? it was perfect in 2004, it’s perfect in 2017. uncomfortably relevant. epilepsy warning for strobe lighting effects in the second half

holiday - technically this was released before blvd, but since it chronologically precedes blvd in the story, i’m putting it first. this is like 90% here for the bridge section y’all. fucking iconic. i wore a fedora on the first day of sixth grade bc tre cool wore one in this video. not my proudest fashion moment. emetophobia warning at 1:56 but them playing EVERY character in the bar scene is perfection

boulevard of broken dreams - ah yes, 2005′s most overplayed song. i could not escape this song. every time the intro started everyone would just look at me bc i was The Green Day Chick. this video is aesthetically perfect though. shout out to mike dirnt’s jawline in profile

HOZIER

work song - first of all, this song makes me cry. second of all, the video is dreamy as fuck. it gives me irl chills. i love the choreography so much. the whole vibe is very modern southern gothic. and it’s incredibly intimate feeling without being... sexual or vulgar, i guess. 

IN THIS MOMENT

adrenalize - first of all i’m gay. second of all i’m gay. this video is decidedly nsfw

whore - aesthetically pleasing. chris motionless being subby is the real highlight here

sick like me - again, it’s here for the aesthetic.

big bad wolf - also aesthetic but THIS MAKEUP LOOK. maria’s makeup look in this video is actually literally my aesthetic goal. epilepsy warning for strobe light effects

sex metal barbie - say it with me: aesthetic. i also love this one bc the lyrics are largely lifted from people talking shit about maria on the internet, shaming her for being a woman with sexuality and agency, so fuck yes i support it. mild body horror warning for this one

JOHN 5

making monsters - john’s videos are mostly performance based but this one is so cute lmao. where do i cop a j5 action figure

LADY GAGA

paparazzi - i’m only including the RLY vital gaga videos here and the full version of paparazzi is her best work imo......

bad romance - .......but bad romance is a close second.

telephone - i can’t not include this one though. the collab of the decade.

LINKIN PARK

one step closer - i think this was the first linkin park video i saw Back In The Day......... it was 2 heavy 4 baby me at the time lmao but nowadays it’s one of my fave lp songs. the video is super corny let’s be real but it was 2000

numb - this song is so fucking emo but i love it. the video is like peak emo too. i swear the main girl in this video was like my fashion icon at the time. layered tank tops, ripped loose jeans, oversized hoodies and jackets. i wanted her hair so bad lmao

what i’ve done - this video is really visually solid. i thought this was like the Deepest Shit in middle school lmao

MARILYN MANSON

sweet dreams (are made of this) - THE CINNAMON TOPOGRAPHY!!! god i have no complaints about this video except that twiggy is in it. visual fx?? dope. wardrobe?? dope. location?? dope. manson in the wedding dress?? dope. unsanitary warning for the later half of the video bc manson gets pooped on by birds lmao

tourniquet - one of my fave vocal performances by manson tbh. i prefer this one of the two videos floria did w/ manson. 

long hard road out of hell - femme manson and religious imagery need i elaborate

the dope show - the first manson video i ever saw. i was... so creeped out lmao. LOOKS ON LOOKS ON LOOKS. john 5 lookin like a snack in this one

i don’t like the drugs (but the drugs like me) - this is probably the most heavy-handed manson has ever been with the christ allegory lmao and yet......... i love it. also shout out to manson and rose’s dogs bug and uncle fester for guest starring. body horror tw here

coma white - basically a flawless music video i have nothing to say here that isn’t already said by the video itself

disposable teens - everybody looks great in this one except twiggy fuck twiggy. i actually love the mtv version of this video too, which is all performance, but i can’t seem to find it rn??

the fight song - one of my fave manson looks. those boooooots tho. the gloooovessssss. i’m gross let me live

tainted love - sorry to send y’all to vimeo for this one but i couldn’t find one on youtube that didn’t look like it was filmed with a potato or watermarked. y’all slept on the genius of this video tbh

mobscene - hello it is me gaogfucker666. 

this is the new shit - still me, gaogfucker666. this video feels misinterpreted too honestly

(s)AINT (director’s cut) - specifically the director’s cut bc more tim skold in a dress and boots smoking a cigarette. this video is seriously fucking nsfw. needles, drugs, sexual content, vomit etc watch with caution pls

personal jesus - i love this glam rock look so much. tim looks so good in this he never wore the look again bc he knew he looked so good we could never handle it a second time.

putting holes in happiness - I CAN’T FIND the extended version with tim’s full solo and i wanna scream. but. here’s the official version

say10 (short) - i really fucking wish he’d compounded off this for the official say10 video, beheaded orange man or not. just the verse. it’s so good. moody and creepy and AHHH.

we know where you fucking live - heed the warning at the beginning lmao. i honestly loved this video. i know some people thought it was edgy but i rly rly don’t see that. it’s offensive and obscene yeah but it doesn’t have that edgelord feel, as much as i love to call him an edgelord.

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE

reincarnate - old school horror vibes!!! as a Humble Fetishist of Boots and Gloves, this is a great video. also this is one of those songs where i Feel the lyrics for real

eternally yours - THE COLORS!!! THE FUCKIN IN A COFFIN!!!! i have nothing more to say

MOTLEY CRUE

looks that kill - please watch this corny ass fuckin 1983 ass hair metal ass music video. please. i’m tryna add more shout at the devil era nikki sixx vibes to my wardrobe tbh

wild side - i love a late 80s arena performance video ok also where do i cop nikki’s shirt

dr. feelgood - i will always credit this as one of the songs that made me want to play bass tbh

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

vampires will never hurt you - too emo to view with the naked eye.

i’m not okay (i promise) - the video that spawned a million high school AUs. god i love this one. even watching without the nostalgia goggles it’s great.

helena - perhaps my favorite music video of all time? if not then top 3. this video still remains my ideal aesthetic 12 years later. HOW I’M TRYNA BE. i just wanna look like an extra in this video, okay.

the ghost of you - time to cry!!!!! emetophobia warning at 0:47

welcome to the black parade - it’s hard for me to talk about these videos bc they’re so universally iconic that to explain why i love them so much would be mostly redundant.

famous last words - see above. this song means the world to me

desolation row - if i had to pick a video other than helena to look like an extra in i’d pick this one. has gerard ever looked this good, before or after this video?? peak.

NINE INCH NAILS

down in it - these are getting linked to vimeo since the official nin account has them all uploaded there in better quality. anyway i love so many of the shots in this video and i love the colors and i love bab trent

head like a hole - SO dated y’all but bab trent leveled up and became baby dread trent.

happiness in slavery - this is seriously graphic. but it’s great. also where’s the extended version that shows trent getting eaten by the weird carnivorous robot

gave up - bABY BRIAN!! infants, y’all. INFANTS.

march of the pigs - it’s a one-take performance video but it’s...... so much more than that. this video hurts me in my hand/glove kink.

closer - this is in the top 3 with helena honestly. it is... a piece of art film before all else. a Must Watch. 

burn - another case of a video being important to me because of the song it’s for tbh.

the perfect drug - marc romanek is a GOD. also a piece of art film honestly. just y’all wait till i make my dnd character based on trent in this video lmao

starfuckers, inc - hm, another nin video that trent invited manson to be in. interesting. all memes aside it’s a great video even as much as i hate the use of the “fat = ugly” trope. epilepsy warning for flashing effects in the last part of the video

deep - why. are. y’all. SLEEPING ON THIS!!!!

only - this may have been the first nin video i willingly saw and recognized as nin. this video still holds up, especially with it being 95% cgi and still looking as good as it does.

ROB ZOMBIE

living dead girl - the theme song of my life??? iconic couple costume idea????

meet the creeper - i have to include this video because it’s BAD. it’s terrible and i fucking love it

american witch (live version) - WHEN ROB PICKS UP JOHN AND STARTS SPINNING HIM AROUND!!!! this is here specifically for all the long hair john content

dead city radio and the new gods of supertown - the aesthetic. everybody looks great. matt is in a gorilla suit

well everybody’s fucking in a ufo - highly nsfw. where do i begin with this fucking hot mess...... sheri’s huge fake boobs. john and matt and ginger as astronauts. john jerkin off. the aliens with dicks. the fact that the whole story is about getting gang banged by aliens???? nothing will ever reach this level

SKOLD

self titled promotional clip - epilepsy warning for a lot of flashing and smash cuts. sort of a few partial music videos in one, but there are only two official skold videos, so i gotta include both of them. the quality is garbage. it’s so incredibly 1996. yet i love it. the last song, anything, is pretty nsfw as in there’s actual femdom porn clips but this is why i love it.

better the devil - if there were more skold videos i’d put them here. but as i said there are only two. tim out there lookin like not just a snack but a full course meal in 4k quality. goddamn. the only man i can ever truly call d*ddy. tiffany and eli lookin like delicious side dishes as well.

TAKING BACK SUNDAY

you’re so last summer - flava flave is in it

this photograph is proof - this song makes me so fucking nostalgic............. it transports me right back to eighth grade lmao. tbs were one of my fave bands in middle school.

makedamnsure - the most emo song of all time?? side note regarding tbs: real talk, being fat in middle school, seeing another fat person in a band was so fucking reassuring and great. i love eddie. 

liar (it takes one to know one) - these visual effects are SO cool, even now.

YOU ME AT SIX

jealous minds think alike - ART... no but actually look at these literal fetuses. i fucking love this song. it’s probably my fave track on take off your colours.

kiss and tell - you right it’s another house party video BUT. baby josh with an undercut. he must be 18 or barely 19 here??

liquid confidence - WHEN YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

stay with me - jkfljkghdfskljgs okay serious time: this song got me through a seriously rough part of my life and i have the title tattooed on me partially because of the video. 

loverboy - i have never seen a fandom in such utter chaos as the ymas fandom was on the day this video dropped. holy fucking shit. the THIRST was REAL. 

bite my tongue - peak ymas captured in one music video. that’s truly the most important part. that peak sns era ymas was preserved forever in this video.

lived a lie - is it bad if i still kinda want a “we are believers” tattoo lmao. i really....... love this song a lot. is it obvious by now that ymas love a big chorus lmao

give - this song gives me The Feels. it deserved better than a performance video in an empty arena but it’s all we got, so here it is.