#barbie diaries is also hilarious

[isas-bathbombs]

You deserve questions too sammy!

For example, which barbie movie is your favorite?

OH MY GOD IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION

i have a few favs this is so hard 😭 in general its always been barbie fairy secret, mariposa and the fairy princess, princess charm school, and pink shoes.

whats urs??

[emsartwork]

Barbie Girls: Barbie D.

A note going forward! If the Barbie girl I’m drawing is just named “barbie” in the movie and is not a different character i’m just gonna put barbie + an initial, her look won’t always be the same tho haha 

[lunar-years]

anyway my thoughts on Barbie snubbery discourse are all over the place because obviously there is indeed an irony to Ken being nominated and not Barbie, mimicking the exact trajectory of the film. And it is kind of sad to think about that and it does suck because I think Margot was amazing as Barbie, and I would have loved to have seen her nominated for that!

But also. If we’re looking at it realistically, it all depends on the pools for each category. Margot and Ryan are in separate categories, so you cannot really compare their nominations because they were never competing against one another, but their respective peers from other movies. I’m not super familiar with the Oscars or with films generally, but from what I’ve heard the best actress category this year is particularly stacked, so the competition for Margot was really hard. At the end of the day, there’s only 5 slots! If Margot was in, another one of the nominated actresses would have to be out. It’s just that Barbie is the bigger movie so it’s getting all the attention.

Also a lot of the extended arguments about it diminish the own original argument’s point. I’ve literally seen people saying Margot was snubbed because of misogyny and then in their next tweet going on a rant about how Margot deserved it way more than America and it’s wild that Barbie got noms in xyz categories but not best actress. Like, if you’re putting down America to hype up Margot in the name of feminism…let’s unpack that for literally half a second, i mean? they aren’t even in the same damn category!!! ~~ “Why was “I’m just Ken” nominated for best song and not Margot!!!” ~~ Well now how it that remotely relevant?? what the heck are you even talking about?? 😭 if you dislike that the song was nominated you should be comparing it to other songs you wish had gotten nominated instead, not randomly bringing it up in a conversation about best actress.

But on the other hand, people saying “well no, Margot didn’t actually deserve a nomination as much as the 5 selected actresses” (which in itself is a totally fine and fair opinion) are by and large just pretentious film twitter commentators who can’t resist but to go on to remind us all that they think Barbie was a shit movie, and generally act like Margot is less talented because she starred in a comedy, and therefore her acting was “less serious” than their artsy indie favs. Which is also deeply annoying and emblematic of how the Oscars and film buffs view certain genre movies like comedies in general.

Which is all to say, I generally think there are far greater threats to feminism than the Barbie movie not getting a best actress and best director nomination, lol. But it’s cool that it’s bringing awareness to the Oscars long-standing problem of bypassing women in favor of men (especially in categories like best director) which is something we should talk about! Greta’s snub is perhaps no different than any other director snub in any other year, but the pattern of female directors continually being snubbed is a problem worth unpacking! I just wish people would stop talking about it only in soundbites and delve into that deeper systematic issue with arguments that actually make sense.

[thealogie]

It's not DT's fault he's god(rtd)'s precious little barbie doll, but it's also totally his fault because he cannot say no to coming back!!!

It’s not his fault he’s like a little kid told they can have more of their favorite dessert! The funniest part of this is he just released a video diary being like “oh well I should enjoy this cause it’s the last time for real” which we all knew isn’t true but saying that while knowing RTD is keeping him on the shelf just in case??! Hilarious

[queen-erika-the-songful]

most annoying barbie take(s) you've seen? feel free to go off if you want to

Oh buckle up because I've got 2 major gripes.

1. People using Life in the Dreamhouse as the end-all-be-all of what Barbie media/content should be like. Yes it's fun and hilarious and I still love it to this day but I'm sick of everyone comparing every new idea to it.

For example, I'm not the biggest Dreamhouse Adventures fan but the fact that people are STILL comparing it to LitD is ludicrous. First of all, they are different KINDS of series, DA being a 22-min TV series aimed at teaching life lessons and LitD being a short form web series (with a couple exceptions) that spoofs reality shows and satires Barbie. They're also totally different in tone, setting, and characterizations of Barbie & co. Yet people treat DA like it's some inferior LitD reboot/successor. DA isn't TRYING to be LitD!!!

I think it's gotten even worse recently with the live-action Barbie coming out. Endless LitD comparisons are being made. I mean, at least it's a bit more understandable this time with Barbieland seeming similar to dollsize Malibu and an air of self-parody. But even so people are whining and crying about characters like Raquelle not being there. Again I love LitD and Raquelle is iconic but she's beloved BECAUSE of LitD. She didn't even exist before it, unlike Midge who was Barbie's first best friend. (Sidenote: Barbie Diaries Raquelle and Fairy Secret Raquelle do not count; they are completely different characters). (Sidenote #2 it's RAQUELLE not Raquel at least get it right if you're gonna whine). I mean the "Raquelle" entity has been around before LitD like characters such as Teresa, but again the one people always talk about is this one iteration of her. If anything you should be complaining about the lack of Christie and Teresa, who have been around for generations like Midge and used to be mainstays of Barbie.

I also want people to stop saying other versions of Barbie are "wrong" or that people outside the fandom don't understand what the characters are "really" like because of this ONE version of the characters that has been discounted since 2015.

2. People wanting Aqua's "Barbie Girl" in the new movie

Look we all loved this song as a kid, I get it. I did too because I thought it was a real Barbie song. But it's not. Yes Mattel sued and then made their own version and used the melody in commercials between 2009-201x whatever the date was BUT it's been abandoned since then.

The song depicts Barbie as a stereotype dumb bimbo blonde with a gross horndog version of Ken as her love interest. Even with lyrics like "imagination, life is your creation" & "if you say I'm always yours" it's surrounded by things like "you can touch/you can play" "kiss me here touch me there/hanky-panky". Like I'm not gonna stop others from making sexual/humorous depictions of Barbie. My problem is this fandom wanting "outsiders" to see another side of Barbie but still insisting this song be part of it. Why are you holding on to it so tightly? Maybe I just don't get it.

And going back for a sec, again Mattel SUED over this song. Like I don't think it's going into the movie just for that reason

I feel like I had another thing to say but this post is long enough so I'm just gonna stop here

[fyeahsharonrooney]

Barbie star Sharon Rooney opens up about 'dream' movie role alongside Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie

(Daily Record, 3 August 2022)

Scots actress Sharon Rooney is buzzing to be involved in the new Barbie movie.

The Glasgow-born star "still can't believe" she's able to talk about the big-budget project after months of secrecy. The cast and crew recently wrapped up filming in California and fans are eager to see the results.

Sharon, 33, joined Go Radio presenters Grado and Crofty yesterday where she opened up about the long-awaited live-action romantic comedy based on the eponymous fashion doll line by Mattel, which stars Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie as Ken and Barbie. After Grado asked what she had been working on recently, Sharon said: "I've just finished Barbie! I've spent so long keeping it a secret that I feel like I'm not allowed to say that but I am allowed to say that!

She added: "I still feel like someone's going to jump out my wardrobe and give me into trouble for saying it! But yeah, I've just wrapped on that last week but I've got a couple of weeks off before I go into my next thing which I'm not allowed to talk about!

Sharon went on to explain why fans of hit BBC Scotland comedy Two Doors Down don't get to see her in her iconic role as Sophie, the daughter of Elaine C Smith's hilarious character Christine, anymore, as she was double booked with her first ever movie, Tim Burton's 2019 live-action version of the Disney classic.

The in demand Scots star said: "I was filming Dumbo at the same time as Two Doors Down went again and I just couldn't do it at the same time!

Sharon shared the exciting news that she was involved with the Barbie production on her Instagram back in April as she posed in an all pink outfit. She wrote: "Come on Barbie let’s go party. SWIPE FOR SOME NEWS. Don’t let me ever hear you say dreams don’t come true because they do! So buy that hot pink power suit and go for your dreams because magic things happen when you believe in YOU! Barbie, the best adventure yet."

Fellow Scots actor Ncuti Gatwa, who was recently announced as the new Doctor Who, is also starring in Barbie, as is Will Ferrell, Kate McKinnon and Emma Mackey.

During a recent interview, Ryan Gosling praised Gatwa for his new role in the BBC show, telling Roman Kemp: "Ncuti, I am such a big fan of Ncuti, he's the coolest! Him playing Doctor Who is the most exciting thing that's happening right now. So I'm here for it!"

Sharon, who rose to fame in My Mad Fat Diary, recently paid tribute to her Barbie co-stars in a celeb packed Instagram picture she shared after filming wrapped which included Ugly Betty actress America Ferrera.

Sharing a snap of the group of colleagues together, she said: "Barbie. A true gift."

[about-chriswood]

"My first role was a rat in Pied Piper of Hamelin when I was six years old. My older sister was really into theater and dance, so there's always the sibling rivalry element of growing up. I fell into it that way. It's something I've done my whole life."

"My most popular home movie franchise was the G.I. Joe series, and occasionally my sister's Barbies would make appearances. But it was mostly the action figures. I'd hold the camera and do stop-motion videos. Those movies are hilarious when we look back at them."

"I also had a movie about an Amish family and a short-lived series in high school called Chris Wood: Action Man with cheesy slow-motion fighting that we shot around in the high school and parking lot. I've sort of always been obsessed with telling stories and making things up."

"I studied religions and all kinds of other things in college. I took a Shakespearean villain course for English literature. It was really intense. I think that sort of rounds a person. In this business it's really important for us to be interesting…and have interests."

"My dad passed away a few years ago and he was a runner. It started as a form of therapy, but then I realized there were charity programs I could run through and raise money for a cause and run for a greater purpose. It's been really great. It's always an amazing experience."

"ASPCA was the last charity I worked with, but Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is the one I usually run with. I don't have any personal connections—they just have great programs and it's obviously such an important disease for us to research."

"The thing I consistently saw was if you made it in New York you could transition [to other kinds of acting], as opposed to going straight to LA and getting swallowed up in the industry."

"If I get back into theater, I think I'd want to do a play. I enjoy singing, but it beats me up a bit. I get super paranoid and self-conscious about my voice. If I get sick or tired, it's just stressful—I don't have invincible vocal chords, so when I'm doing a show eight times a week I get so worn out."

"I love music and going to concerts. I studied opera in school, so a lot of singing was opera and classical training."

"When I started, Vampire Diaries was at a place where the crew and the cast had been working together for six years. It's a well-oiled machine—they're a family. Once I was welcomed into the family, it was a great place to be and work."

"Kai is totally different from my other roles—being the bad guy is always great. The bad guys have all the fun. We get all the best lines. Especially getting to play a psychotic character! He's so different from me. Playing Kai makes me think of when I would make the home movies, honestly. You have the mortal characters and the characters with magical powers like me, so there's always the risk of death in every scene. The spectrum of emotions the characters experience is different because killing someone is an option in any given conversation depending on how angry the person becomes with them."

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SASHA ISRAEL

Read it fully here

[tootickie]

my new calling is watching all 36 barbie movies in chronological order and rating and reviewing them. i will add to this as i keep watching. 

nutcracker (2001): 8.5/10 - funny, and i liked that barbie was smart enough to guess that the nutcracker was the prince instead of being surprised. he also made sure she got credit for saving them, in a feminist gesture instead of just taking credit when offered. he also said he would only be the prince if people wanted him to, so the nutcracker is honestly so woke. only thing i didn’t like was the ending, because she definitely shouldve stayed in nutcracker land. also like, was the nutcracker reincarnated as the guy who gets introduced in the end? like i just didn’t get it.

rapunzel (2002): 10/10 - literally the painting scenes in this movie are so beautiful, the rabbit is hilarious, the penelope and her father storyline is genuinely heartwarming, and rapunzel causes world peace. i was also wondering if this is an east and west berlin allegory because people seem to have german names in both cities and a lot of the families being torn apart rhetoric seemed similar but also i’ve been studying the cold war a lot for class so that could just be me. but honestly this deserves 10/10 for the scene where she paints dresses on herself alone. ALSO the sorceress is called gothel and rapunzel loves to paint and is a lost princess, which is interesting bc none of this is in the original fairytale, and thus i have come to the conclusion that disney plagiarized barbie, proving that barbie is the superior movie studio.

swan lake (2003): 10/10 - let me start by saying the scene where they walk across the log by the waterfall is so cool i re-enacted it so much as a kid and also the spunky purple unicorn has my name so this is a very biased 10/10. i also thought it was interesting that even though odette is a good person, her motivation for breaking the spell was a selfish one at first and this added some complexity to her character and gave her an arc of personal growth of compassion winning over fear by the end, which is more relatable and inspiring imo. the dress in this film is so pretty also, and the dancing is so fun to watch! and to round it out, prince daniel said himbo rights when he kept trying to shoot arrows at the evil sorcerer who we established early on can melt arrows.

princess and the pauper (2004): 10/10 - annalise and julian are such a cute romantic pair they’re the first ones that have real chemistry i feel like. also he’s the first love interest with a brain and initiative . preminger is also such a spicy villain, the songs slap, the humor is good...we all remember why this movie is good i don’t need to go over it.

fairytopia (2005): 6/10 - i think the aesthetic of this movie is what really saved it; i thought the character design and settings were really nice, but i found the story to be pretty boring. elina didn’t really speak to me that much as a character, i just feel like there wasn’t as much development of her character as the previous protagonists. definitely some potential there, so i’m excited for the sequels. also i hate how cute i found bibble lol.

magic of pegasus (2005): 9.5/10 - this was mad good actually, my only con was that i did find annika’s voice was more annoying than other barbie characters, so i was just wondering what the deal was with that. annika’s positivity of hearing ‘the wand of light is made of these impossible items’ and going ‘it’s only three things!’ was inspiring, to say the least. the banter between the annika and aidan was so cute too. also literally the fact that he was a gambling addict who ran away from home with a whole redemption arc….iconic. anyway i really enjoyed this actually, i wish i’d actually seen it as a child. also all the ice skating scenes were fun. and uhh brietta and the cloud queen are def in love and you can’t convince me otherwise

mermaidia (2006): 8/10 - definitely better than the first fairytopia! to start with, the subversiveness of needing to rescue a prince is fun! said mermaid prince is cute and watching him interact with his captors is a joy, but why does he have a mullet :-/ i do appreciate elina’s commitment to female solidarity with regard to nori (who, as a side note, is hot), and their burgeoning friendship was a fun part of the plot and omfg the shot with the two of them jumping down the waterfall...nice. nori and nalu are a really cute pair also and i thought it was cool that elina wasn’t the one to get the guy. i also thought it was cool when bibble sang opera. and elina’s last sacrifice at the end redeemed her to me after being kind of bored of her. however, what i really don’t understand is why nalu even asked for elina’s help in the first place?? ( like, because they’re friends? he clearly has other friends, and while we’re on that subject, did their friendship develop offscreen or are we meant to believe they are close friends from the 30 second almost silent montage from the last movie?), so that kind of puts a damper on the whole movie for me.

the barbie diaries (2006): 7/10 - what on EARTH is this animation style. who okayed this??? im literally seasick watching it. this is like a regular teen movie, which is interesting for the barbie genre. the banter between the friend group is really cute and this movie is actually quite funny and profound and i really enjoyed it. but it’s really best if you just close your eyes and imagine what is going on bc whatever you imagine cannot be worse than what you will see on the screen. it feel really off brand for barbie movies plotwise, like it seemed much more like a disney channel movie. so the verdict is, i enjoyed it—the plot is fun, if a little predictable, but there was simply too much to be confused about. 

[keyofjetwolf]

THE GIFTENING 2019: Jet Wolf’s Nomination Run-down

Last year, people said they would have liked to know which of the nominations I’d seen, or knew about, or liked, or didn’t like, etc. etc. I HEAR YOU. Under the cut, you’ll find all the nominees in every relevant category (anime, non-anime animated, live action, movies, games), and a couple of brief notes on my familiarity (or lack thereof) and general feelings on the thing.

YOU NEED NOT CONSIDER ANY OF THIS BEFORE MAKING YOUR VOTES

I’m putting the info out there for those who’ve wanted to know, but that information is relevant precisely as much as you want it to be. I can and will liveblog something I hate, I can play a game I’ve played twenty times before. THE GIFTENING is for you, and while I won’t lie (I won’t pretend to like something I don’t, I won’t feign surprise at a twist on my 21st playthrough), I’ll happily provide whatever entertainment in whatever way I can.

Also please note that if I don’t like something, that feeling comes with no value judgement. My disliking a thing reflects only on myself. So if you see I’m not a fan of something, or don’t think I’ll like it based on what I’ve seen or heard, please keep in mind there’s nothing personal toward in you at all in that. AND HELL I COULD BE WRONG FEEL FREE TO TRY AND SHOW ME

Anyway, enough with the blah blah. Join me under the cut if you care to know!

Anything marked only with ** means I haven’t seen/played it nor have any particular thoughts or opinions to share.

Anime

.hack//Sign  **

A Place Further Than The Universe - Haven’t seen it, but from Dashboard Osmosis, was more interested in it than I have been a non-Sailor Moon anime in a long time.

Aggretsuko  **

Aikatsu!  **

Alien Nine  **

Angel Sanctuary  **

Aria the Animation  ** 

Assassination Classroom  ** 

Azumanga Daioh  **

Bodacious Space Pirates - Saw through the first couple of episodes (liveblog here!) Not sure where it’s going, but liked it pretty well!

Bubblegum Crisis - An old personal favourite

Clannad  ** 

Death Note - I think it’s about killing people with a slam book I DUNNO

Death Parade  ** 

Diebuster  ** 

Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi)  **

Excel Saga  **

Fate/Grand Order: Babylonia  **

Fate/Grand Order: First Order  **

Fire Force  **

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club - I’ve watched the first series. It’s okay, WOULD BE BETTER IF NOT SO MANY DUDES

Fresh Precure - I’ve not seen any Precure series, but if pressed, would say it appears overwhelmingly fluffy and saccharine

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - a GIFTENING favourite! Barely into it, but enjoying so far. (previous liveblog here)

Fushigi Yuugi - I watched the series (quit partway through the OAVs) when I finished Sailor Moon back in the day and desperately wanted to find it again. I failed.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun  ** 

Given  ** 

Glitter Force  ** 

Grave of the Fireflies - NEVER SEEN IT HAVE BEEN INFORMED IT WILL DEVASTATE ME

Haibane Renmei - I know only what I’ve read via Holligay’s liveblogs! (find them here)

Hamtaro - uhm isn’t this about a hamster

Higurashi When They Cry  ** 

Houseki no Kuni (Land of the Lustrous)  ** 

Hugtto! Precure - See note on previous Precure

Hyouka  ** 

Kaguya-sama: Love is War  **

Kaleido Star  **

Kemono Friends  **

Kimetsu no Yaiba  **

Little Witch Academia  **

Log Horizon  **

Love Hina  **

Luck & Logic  **

Madoka: Rebellion - I saw the Madoka series (fairly ambivalent to it), and heard the movie was terrible, but no clue why, specifically.

Magic Knight Rayearth - Watched this back in the day and haven’t watched a single second since. I REMEMBER LIKING THE BLUE ONE

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha - Someone sponsored this liveblog for a while! (liveblog here) It was doing some really interesting things with kids burdened with all this world-saving shit, I thought.

Magical Girl Pretty Sammy (TV not OAV) - I know this is a Tenchi Muyo! spin-off (watched some Tenchi back in the day), but I’ve never seen it. Magical Girl Raising Project - Seen the whole series, and really quite enjoyed it.

March Comes in Like a Lion (3-gatsu no Lion)  **

Megalobox  **

Mirai Nikki (The Future Diary)  **

Mob Psycho 100 - Never seen it, but know a bit about it through Dashboard Osmosis.

Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) - WOW WE’RE GOING BACK INTO THE OLDEN TIMES. I’ve seen bits and pieces of *A* Gundam, but no idea which.

Moribito  **

My Bride is a Mermaid (Seto No Hanayome)  ** 

My Roommate is a Cat - Never heard of it, love the title, want it to be a series mashed with the one above.

NANA

Natsume's Book of Friends - I’ve heard the title enough to have it ring a bell, but know nothing otherwise.

Neon Genesis Evangelion - I FUCKING HATE EVANGELION I SEE YOU HOLLIGAY

O Maidens in Your Savage Season - This is another banger title, never heard of it.

Ojamajo Doremi  **

Pretear

Princess Principal

Princess Tutu - WE’RE OLD FRIENDS TUTU AND I. I’m currently liveblogging Princess Tutu on the regular thanks to Calantian! (liveblog here) I just got to the halfway point of episode 12, and have Tutu on the schedule for January as well. LOVING THIS SHOW.

Project A-Ko - Among my earliest of anime experiences. A classic. A weird, weird little classic.

Re:Creators  ** 

Read or Die (OAV)  ** 

Revolutionary Girl Utena - I’ve no doubt my time of fully diving into this anime is approaching, but thus far, I’ve only nibbled at the edges. I know there’s shit here, there are too many people into it. MOSTLY THOUGH I’M STILL CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THERE WAS A KANGAROO (previous liveblogs here)

Rose of Versailles - It’s a historical anime and I think there are lesbians?

Samurai Pizza Cats - I could have this wrong, but I think this is a dubbed anime that’s hilariously unconcerned about anything involving the actual translation and plot? And it’s about cats that deliver pizza? I think there’s a crow that’s the bad guy or something?

School-Live - I know the general premise and watched the first episode ahead of Doc’s Eight Days liveblog of it. What I know has intrigued me.

Serial Experiments Lain - I watched this waaaay back when. Bought it on DVD! Still have them! I cannot for the life of me remember how I felt about it.

Slayers - Another I watched a bit back when! Found it to be generally okay, but it was like twenty something years ago because I am an old.

Snow White with the Red Hair  **

Suite Precure - See previous Precure notes

Sweetness and Lightning - I got this as a Wildcard a couple GIFTENINGs ago, and found it to be CHARMING AS FUCK. I’m still mildly concerned it’s going to go creepy and weird on me Because Anime, but otherwise, I had a great time. (previous liveblog)

The Promised Neverland ** 

Thunderbolt Fantasy **

Trigun - I think I saw this on commercials for Toonami? Vash the Demolished or something? I THINK IT’S ABOUT A DUDE WITH A GUN

Umineko When They Cry ** 

Violet Evergarden ** 

Yona of the Dawn - I did a tiny bit of this for a commission, but remember next to nothing about it. (previous liveblog)

Zombie Land Saga - I ASSUME IT INVOLVES ZOMBIES IN SOME FASHION

Non-Anime Animated

Adventure Time - Seen a lot of it pass my dash, I know there’s a yellow dog that can be things, and the vampire and the pink one are gay.

Anastasia - Just livestreamed the movie with Holligay for Eight Days! I’ve no particular feelings toward it otherwise.

Archer - I KNOW IT’S ADULT

Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse - This has been nominated every single GIFTENING, I think, and while I’m no closer to knowing what this is actually about, the persistence is inspiring.

Bob's Burgers - Great show! Seen many episodes! I think it’ll be hard to liveblog in a meaningful way.

Bojack Horseman - I’ve seen through season three. EXCELLENT SHOW

Captain N - What the fuck I think I used to watch this on Saturday mornings

Carmen Sandiego (2019)  **

Castlevania (2017) - I’ve seen a couple gifsets, that’s it.

Chuggingtons - WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ME

Courage the Cowardly Dog - I know the premise, never watched the show.

Cyber Six  **

Daria - It was a Beavis & Butthead spin-off and that immediately killed all interest for me.

Donkey Kong Country (TV series)  **

Ducktales (2017) - I know a lot of people love them, but I have to say, I’m not a huge fan of the Disney ducks, generally speaking.

Epithet Erased  **

Ever After High  **

Gargoyles - Saw the first multi-part episode in a livestream a year or so back. It was pretty standard 90s cartoon stuff to me just from that, but I know it’s well-loved.

Generator Rex  **

Gravity Falls - Currently liveblogging for the Patreon! LOVE IT. I’m not sure we’re outside the exclusivity window for it, but if it makes it into the second heat, I’ll figure out how to go from there.

Green Eggs and Ham (series) - Wait, what the hell, this is a series? HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS INTO A SERIES

Green Lantern: The Animated Series  **

Harley Quinn - Loved the clips I saw of the first episode! Did not love the antisemitic clips I saw of the second episode!

Hazbin Hotel  **

Hilda   **

Home Movies - The few clips I’ve seen were hilarious.

Infinity Train  **

JEM - MY LOVE. It’s desperately 80s and objectively poorly done in places and I adore it with my entire being.

Jonny Quest  **

Kidd Video - I feel like I SHOULD know this, but I can’t place it.

Kim Possible - I’ve heard of it!

Klaus  **

Mao Mao Heroes of Pure Heart  **

Moominvalley (2019) - I know Moomins are those little white hippo things. I am pure confusion beyond that.

My Life as a Teenage Robot  **

Over the Garden Wall - I did a couple episodes for my Patreon a few years ago, and have since finished watching the whole series. I’m up for a rewatch!

Rugrats - I know of it, but have only watched the Hanukkah special.

RWBY - Heard of it! I had the impression it was pretty queerbaity? (don’t quote me on that)

Samurai Jack - I know the premise, but never watched the series

She-Ra (80s) - YES I KNOW YOU

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) - Love it, love it. I still haven’t seen the most recent “season” (it’s a half season don’t jerk me around Netflix)

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse - I am a long-time comic book nerd and quite familiar with the Spider-Mans. Saw the film shortly after last year’s GIFTENING and enjoyed it.

Star vs the Forces of Evil - Had a liveblog of this for THE GIFTENING a few years back and it was okay, but I wasn’t super impressed. (previous liveblog)

Super Friends - I FUCKING HATE THE SUPER FRIENDS I SEE YOU HUBBY

Tangled: Before Ever After - Saw the movie, never seen the series!

The Animals of Farthing Wood  **

The Dragon Prince - I’ve heard Tumblr chatter in a general sense, but no details.

The Hollow  **

The Loud House  **

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show  **

Thundercats - I fucking loved Thundercats as a kid, hahhaha, there is no way it holds up.

Totally Spies - I’ve had several Patreon livestreams with the show, so have a pretty good general sense of the show at this point. I’m not sure it’d make a good liveblog, though.

Venture Brothers - I think it features a blond buff dude in a black t-shirt?

Wakfu (French dub) - Oh hey, this was a free to play game at PAX one year! That’s it, that’s all I know.

Winx Club  **

X-Men: The Animated Series (90s) - DID SOMEONE SAY X-MEN??? I love this show. Hubby and I still to this day quote this show. This show is not good.

X-Men Evolution - Evo, on the other hand, is EXCELLENT. One of the single best incarnations of the X-Men, in my opinion. Seen all eps multiple times, love it, can talk for a hideously long time about details you never in your life cared about, will probably not make it through an episode, please consider if that is a point for or against it before you vote. (previous liveblog)

Live Action

Agent Carter - Saw the Captain America movie, that’s it!

American Gods - Read the book

Atypical - I know the premise very loosely, and it sounds good, but I’d be a little concerned about accidentally stomping in all the wrong places with my giant clumsy neurotypical feet.

Babylon 5 - I know it’s a sci-fi classic, and I’ve been assured there are characters I would love, but haven’t seen it.

Batman (Adam West series) - A SERIOUS LIVEBLOG WILL RESULT I’M SURE

Black Mirror ("White Bear") - This episode still fucks with me to this day. It’s exceptional, and also very very complicated. This would be a heavy liveblog, be warned. (previous Black Mirror liveblogs)

Brooklyn 99 - I’ve only watched a bit of this and enjoyed it, but like most sitcoms, it’s incredibly difficult to liveblog. (previous liveblog)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - One of my live’s greatest televisual loves. Joss Whedon and time have mostly driven that out of me, but letting my ego out to play for a second, I have to say, I give some pretty good Buffy. (previous liveblogs)

Cagney & Lacey - A formative favourite for tiny baby Jet Wolf! It’s a cop procedural, with all the downsides that implies, but also it’s lady cop BFFs AND I LOVE IT AND THEM

Carmilla - A current staple of the blog, thanks to @cello-moon! I’ve just started Season 3, and if you’re a regular around here, you know how all this goes. (previous liveblogs)

Charmed (1998) - I know of it, very very loosely, but never watched it.

Charmed (2018) - Also loosely known, but even less so!

Cloak and Dagger - I’m burned out (and just burned) from Disney’s Marvel garbage, but I know Cloak & Dagger from the comics, am that only makes me more surprised this show exists.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I never picked this back up after THE GIFTENING, but had a great time with what we watched! (previous liveblog)

Critical Role (The Night Before Critmas one-shot) - I haven’t seen this one shot, but I DO love me some Critical Role.

Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance - We watched the whole series, and I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. PODLINGS ARE VALID AND HUP IS THE MOST VALID OF ALL

Dear Friends **

Derry Girls - Watched the whole thing a couple times now, absolutely adore it. One of the best shows I’ve seen in a while. Once again though, comedies can be SO hard to liveblog.

Dinnerladies **

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - I’ve heard of the book series?

Doctor Who - I’ve tried SO HARD to like Doctor Who, and yet.

Doctor Who (City of Death serial) - See above, no thoughts on this serial specifically.

Elementary - I’ve seen the first three seasons, I think it is? They began to lose me with some season choices, but I love Sherlock and Joan SO MUCH.

Farscape - I watched the series when it was first on The Sci-Fi Channel, but they kept jerking the schedule around and it fell off my radar. Quite liked it though, as I recall.

Galavant - I SUPER BELIEVE IN YOU TAD COOPER (previous liveblogs)

Good Omens (miniseries) - Read the book and survived the miniseries consuming Tumblr, but didn’t watch it myself.

Hannibal - I remember when this was EVERYWHERE, but mostly I remember that it was very gay and had that guy from Rogue One in it.

Hellier  **

His Dark Materials - Haven’t watched it, haven’t read the books, I know nothing!

Kamen Rider (1971, ep 1)  **

Kamen Rider Fourze  **

Kamen Rider W  **

Kanpai Senshi After V  **

Killing Eve - I’ve seen some photo and gif sets, but haven’t watched it. I think they’re trying to murder each other? But also fuck? IT’S VERY CONFUSING

Legends of Tomorrow - I know it’s a DC show, and I think it has something to do with time travelers?

Leverage - I just watched and streamed my first two episodes last night on Patreon! Quite enjoyed it, more than I expected to.

LOST - Until proven otherwise, I’ll assume this was a troll nomination. GOOD GOD I HATE LOST

Lost Girl  **

Love Island (season 3)  **

Maho Sentai Magiranger  **

Midnight Dinner: Tokyo Stories  **

Murder She Wrote - Actual lol, I have no idea why this was nominated, but I love it and also you. ANGELA LANSBURY ON TV WE ALL WIN

Murdoch Mysteries  **

Once Upon a Time - The premise is fairytales all smooshed together I think?

One Day at a Time (2017) - I’ve watched all but the most recent season, I think. Good show, very enjoyable, but mostly “watch and forget” for me.

Orphan Black - Currently liveblogging, thanks to @skylineofspace​! I’m currently on episode 4, and absolutely loving it. (previous liveblogs)

Parks and Recreation - I’ve seen all but the last season, I think. Great show, but once again, I’d expect a difficult time liveblogging it.

Pushing Daisies - Never seen it. I think it’s about someone whose touch kills?

Re:Mind  **

Russian Doll - Never seen a single second, but I’ve heard nothing but good things through the grapevine.

Sapphire & Steel - HUBBY’S TROLLING ME AGAIN. This is an oooold old old English sci-fi/horror show that I used to watch when I was a tiny tiny Jet Wolf and it scared the shit out of me. I’M STILL MILDLY TRAUMATIZED BY IT TO THIS DAY

Schitt's Creek  **

Sense8  **

Shanara  **

Smash  **

Star Trek: The Next Generation - I love me some Star Trek. I’ve seen all of TNG, but haven’t sat down to fully rewatch the series ever, so most I only saw when they first aired.

Stargate SG1 - I think this is based on a movie I also haven’t seen.

Tantei no Tantei  **

Terrace House  **

The Good Place - OKAY SO THE GOOD PLACE. I watched the first two seasons and LOVED THEM. Mostly. I DO NOT love the Eleanor/Chidi thing. I do not love it to the extent that it completely sucked out my desire to continue with the show. I haven’t seen anything of it past the S2 finale. (previous liveblog)

The Haunting of Hill House - Watched and enjoyed the whole miniseries. I confess to being uncertain about liveblogging this though, as I feel Doc is doing it so much better than I could hope to do.

The Magicians & The Crown  **

The Mandalorian - I KNOW BABY YODA BECAUSE I AM A PERSON WHO EXISTS IN OUR MODERN WORLD (that is all I know)

The Middleman  **

The Tick (2016) - I know and enjoyed the cartoon!

The Untamed  **

Twilight Zone - Who doesn’t know the Twilight Zone, it’s a fucking classic for a reason.

Twin Peaks - Believe it or not, I have never seen a single second of Twin Peaks. I know it’s weird, I know Laura Palmer is dead, I know functionally nothing else.

Ultraman X  **

Westworld - Haven’t seen it, though I believe it’s loosely based on the movie of the same name which I HAVE seen.

What We Do in the Shadows (series) - I’ve seen neither the series nor the movie, but know it’s Taika Waititi and is reportedly hilarious.

Worst Cooks in America - WAIT AM I IN A TV SHOW

Xena: Warrior Princess - My OTHER great love. Adore Xena, adore everything about it (well, mostly), have devoted a not insignificant amount of my heart and brainspace to Xena, if you have me talk about Xena I may never shut up. (previous liveblogs)

Movies

Arrival  **

Atomic Blonde ** 

Barbie's The Princess and The Pauper ** 

Bedknobs and Broomsticks - Saw it a million years ago, remember functionally nothing.

Best in Show - Also seen a very long time ago, just the once.

Bohemian Rhapsody - I love Queen and Freddie Mercury, and I had exactly zero interest in watching this film.

Brave - A Disney/Pixar movie I actually liked!

Cabaret - I haven’t seen the film, though I did see the stage musical, and it fucked me up pretty hardcore for a while there. (Do not let that dissuade you from voting for it! I’ve been wanting to watch the movie. Trump had just been elected when I saw it performed AND WELL THERE WERE THINGS)

Captain Marvel - Haven’t seen it, but it’s one of the few later stage Disney/Marvel offerings I’ve had any interest in.

Captain Underpants  **

Carrie (1976) - ANOTHER SUPER OLDIE I’M SO DELIGHTED. I’ve seen it as well as read the book (both a very long time ago)

Castaway on the Moon  **

Cats (1998) - hahahah I SEE YOU YOU ASSHOLES

Chocolat  **

Clue (1985) - One of my personal favourite movies, though I did stream it not too long ago for my Patreon.

Coco  **

Crank  **

Crimson Peak  **

Dale and Tucker vs Evil - I’ve never seen this, but have wanted to.

Detective Pikachu - Saw this in the theater, and I’m still not sure if I actually enjoyed it or not.

Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks - THIS IS A MY LITTLE PONY THING ISN’T IT

EVA  **

Fate/Grand Order: First Order  **

Flash Gordon - Delicious, cheesy fun.

Frozen 2 - I won’t be able to stream this if it’s not been released when it’s GIFTENING time, so just keep that in mind. Also please note that I have not seen Frozen 1. I only just, a few months ago, heard “Let it Go” for the first time. TRUE STORY.

Godzilla: King of Monsters  **

Happy New Year (Bollywood) - I legit love Bollywood films, this sounds delightful.

Here Alone  **

Home  **

Hoodwinked!  **

Hot Fuzz - LOVE HOT FUZZ

How to Train Your Dragon  **

Howl's Moving Castle - I haven’t seen it, but I’ve had a few other Miyazaki films voted in for GIFTENING and Patreon, and I haven’t really enjoyed any of them. I’M WILLING TO TRY AGAIN. Just keep in mind, they may not be for me.

Hustlers  **

In Her Shoes  **

Inside Out  **

Interstellar  **

It's Such a Beautiful Day  **

Jennifer's Body  **

Jojo Rabbit - I wasn’t able to see this when it was at our local indy theater, and I regret missing it. I’d love to see it, but I’m not sure with my goyische commentary would be the best delivery method.

Jupiter Ascending - Love this beautiful dumb film, omg. I’ve streamed this for previous GIFTENINGs though, if that’s a thing to care about.

Klaus  **

Knives Out - Very keen to see this, but it may not be out on dvd/streaming before THE GIFTENING, so bear that in mind.

Last of the Blonde Bombshells  **

Legally Blonde - I’VE ACTUALLY NEVER SEEN THIS. I feel like I have, from all the gifs and shit, but nope!

Love Never Dies - Oh my god is this the Phantom sequel, why do you all hate me.

Mad Max: Fury Road - LOVE IT. I’ve done it for THE GIFTENING before, though, just a note.

Madoka: Rebellion - (copied from Rebellion in Anime)  I saw the Madoka series (fairly ambivalent to it), and heard the movie was terrible, but no clue why, specifically.

Man from UNCLE  **

Masters of the Universe (He-Man, 1987) - This movie is so fucking bad hahaha

Midsommar  **

Monster High: Fright On  **

Muppet Christmas Carol - Just watched this during Holligay’s Eight Days! I’m not sure it’s really in my wheelhouse, being relatively lukewarm on both A Christmas Carol and the Muppets, but I’d do my best!

Murder on the Orient Express  **

Newsies (1992)  **

One Cut of the Dead  **

Pacific Rim - I saw it in the theater and actually didn’t care for it over much. I’d be willing to give it another shot though, it might be better second time around.

Pan's Labyrinth - I’ve streamed this film a couple times now, I think, but it’s a good one, so I’m up for another go if you guys want!

Parasite (2019)  **

Perfect Blue  **

Pleasantville  **

Promare  **

Redline  **

Resident Evil  **

Return to Oz - I saw this as a kid and haven’t again since. TAKE THAT INFORMATION AS YOU WILL.

Rock-a-Doodle  **

Searching (2018)  **

Secret of Nimh - LITTLE JET WOLF LOVED THIS MOVIE. Adult Jet Wolf hasn’t sampled it.

Spaceballs - I’ve watched the shit out of Spaceballs. I love a parody, I’m shameless.

Speed Racer (2008) - I’ve only seen this once,but actually enjoyed it more than I expected to.

Spice World - I legitimately love this movie. I’m not sure it’s GOOD but it’s a thousand times better than it has any right to be.

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse - Good movie, lots of fun, I streamed it not too long ago on Patreon.

Star Wars - IT’S STAR WARS

Star Wars Holiday Special - I’ve never watched this, and I’m not sure how excited I am to change that fact.

Street Fighter (1994) - I HAVE ONLY HEARD THE LEGENDS

Summer Wars  **

Super Mario Brothers - Oh .. this can’t be good ...

Tale of Tales  **

Tangled - I’ve seen it, but didn’t have strong opinions one way or the other.

The Adventures of Tintin  **

The Great Muppet Caper - I’m sure I’ve seen this, but fuck if I can remember anything.

The Last Jedi (hatewatch) - WELP

The Living Wake  **

The Lost Boys - It’s not a good movie, and I love it.

The Mummy (1999) - Streamed recently on Patreon!

The Rezort  **

The Road to El Dorado - I’ve seen it, I want a Sailor Moon AU of it.

The Room - I know it’s considered one of the worst films ever made, but I’ve never had the personal privilege of experience.

Tokyo Godfathers  **

Us (2019) - Saw it in the theater, totally down for seeing it again with perspective on the whole movie.

Venom  **

Wall-E - Probably my favourite Pixar film!

Wayne's World - Saw it back when! Does it hold up? WHO KNOWS

What We Do in the Shadows (movie) - As mentioned above, I’ve never seen it, but I’ve heard it’s an amazing Taika Waititi joint.

When Marnie Was There  **

Wolf Children Ame and Yuki  **

X-Men 2 - GOD I LOVED THIS MOVIE. I’m not sure how well it would hold up, but when it came out? One of the few films I’ve paid to see multiple times in the theater.

Your Name  **

Games

Ace Attorney (blog) -  I’ve tried multiple times with the Ace Attorney games, and I must be honest and say I just don’t like them.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - I’ve watched a playthrough! The story’s not good. THE IDEA OF PLAYING IT STRESSES ME OUT SO HARD HAHAHAH YOU FUCKS

Among the Sleep (stream)  **

Arkham Knight (main story run) (stream) - Very intrigued to play this. I’ve tinkered a bit, but get distracted by all the side stuff. The motivation to just streamline the story very much appeals.

Baba is You (stream) - I’ve heard great things about the game, but in a “It was great!” way, I still know fuck all about it.

Black Closet (blog)  **

Borderlands (stream) - Love Borderlands, it’s fun as hell. I’d probably angle for Borderlands 2 over the first, but would have a good time however it went.

Catherine Classic  **

Cho Aniki  **

Control (stream) - I’ve seen a little bit on Steam, just enough to know I’m interested.

Cthulhu Save Christmas - Never heard of it, but great title.

Cuphead (stream)  **

Danganronpa  **

Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (blog)   **

Dead by Daylight (stream)  **

Death Stranding  **

Death Trips  **

Detention (stream)  **

Disco Elysium (blog) - I’ve heard great things, would be totally okay with a reason to play it.

Doki Doki Lit Club (stream) - I was so intrigued with this from THE GIFTENING a couple years ago that I wanted to work it into the main schedule, but it just didn’t happen. 100% on-board the chance to keep going!

Dragon Age: Origins (stream) - I KEEP STALLING WHENEVER I TRY TO REPLAY THIS GAME SO I CAN MOVE TO DA2 THIS IS MY PERSONAL HELL

Dragon Quest Builders 2 (stream)  **

Dream Daddy - I know the premise, and the idea of blogging this is beautiful.

Final Fantasy X (blog) - Have I played X? (asks Hubby) YES I HAVE. It’s one of the few that I finished. Final Fantasy games usually entail so much grinding that I’m not sure it’d be a great liveblog, but I’d do my best!

Firewatch - I’ve been wanting reasons to play this SO MUCH.

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (stream) - I’m preeetty sure everyone just wants to hear how many terrible accents we can do. And that’s legit! I’ve since figured out how to play mobile games on my PC so the video quality would be better than last time, but that is the only improvement I could promise. (previous stream)

Gris  **

Half Dead 2 (stream)  **

Hand of Fate 2 (blog) - I think this is a card game?

Hatoful Boyfriend/Pigeon Fucking (blog) - IS IT EVEN REALLY THE GIFTENING WITHOUT PIGEON FUCKING (previous liveblogs)

Hollow Knight  **

House Flipper (blog) - I’ve tentatively had my eye on this on Steam for a while, so seeing this nominated tickled me.

Just Dance (stream) - Jesus wept, you all DO hate me. IF I HAVE TO DO THIS I WON’T DO IT ALONE

Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky (First Chapter) (blog)  **

Legend of Zelda (stream) - I AM SO BAD AT THIS GAME WHY

Life is Strange (blog) - See below!

Life is Strange (stream) - I streamed all episodes of Life is Strange a couple years back. While I’m not sure I’d have much to offer on a replay, I’ll happily do it if you guys vote it in. MEANWHILE, here’s a playlist with all the Life is Strange streams.

Life is Strange 2 - My understanding is it’s a separate game from the first with new characters and new story.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm (stream) - And I believe this is a prequel to the first Life is Strange featuring Max and Chloe.

Little Inferno (stream)  **

Long Live the Queen (blog) - YOU KNOW PINK PRINCESS (previous liveblogs)

Long Live the Queen (stream) (with walkthrough to not repeat) - I laughed so hard at the nomination specifically giving my ass a walkthrough.

Mass Effect 1 - I’ve played it multiple times! The Mass Effect series is one of my personal favourites.

Monster Prom (w/Hubby, Doc, & Jill) (stream) - AGAIN WITH VOICES I SEE YOU. It can be difficult to get everyone’s schedules all in alignment, so this may be subject to shuffling and delays, just to keep in mind.

Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake (stream)  **

Overwatch (stream) - I assume this is more group play? But we can talk details if it makes it into further heats.

Oxenfree (stream) - I’ve fully streamed Oxenfree on the Patreon. It’s well outside the exclusivity window at this point, and I’m happy to make those public if you guys were interested and would rather put your votes elsewhere. That said, I really enjoyed the game, and think a second playthrough could add a lot to the overall experience, so feel free.

Pathologic 2 (blog)  **

Persona 3 Portable (blog)  **

Pillars of Eternity (blog) - I’ve never finished Pillars of Eternity, but I do have a game with some significant progress I could continue. Alternately, I could roll a whole new character, and would play it however you guys chose. We have options if we go this route!

Pokemon Go (stream/videos) - Amazing. Here the link to last year’s Pokemon Go, if you’d like some idea of what the fuck this is about!

Portal (stream) - The Portal series is great, I think it does some really interesting and innovative ideas with gameplay. I’ve played and finished the first two, though remembering the solutions to any of those puzzles is, of course, another thing entirely.

Recettear: An Item Shop Tale (stream) - THIS WAS THE FIRST THING I EVER BOUGHT ON STEAM. I haven’t played it in forever, and I’m not sure how entertaining it would be, but I’m down for finding out!

Resident Evil 2 remake (blog) - IT’S ZOMBIES. That’s about all I know about Resident Evil.

Reventure  **

Sara is Missing  **

Shovel Knight (stream)  **

Slime Rancher (blog) - I have and have played Slime Rancher! I’m a little unsure about blogging it, but would try!

Slime Rancher (stream) - I WASN’T EXPECTING SUCH A RUSH FROM THE SLIME RANCHER FANDOM THIS YEAR

Stanley Parable - I think Hubby’s played this? I seem to recall it has a narrator who comments on what you do, but I don’t know much else.

Stardew Valley (blog) - I’ve never gotten as far in Stardew Valley as I’ve felt I would. Lots to do for me, yet!

Stardew Valley (stream) - Same as above, just in stream form!

Subnautica (stream) - I’ve done several Subnautica streams for Patreon, and if this gets through, I’d release them so everyone (who wants to) can catch up. If I recall, my last play left off with me exploring a big ass ship that crashed.

Superluminal  **

Tales from the Borderlands - It’s Borderlands, but Telltale, though!

Tales of Symphonia  **

Team SASV (Pokemon X/Y) - TEAM SASSY AND SOMEWHAT VAIN. If this gets in, I’ll need all the intervening time to try and find my fucking DS. (previous liveblogs, via the backup)

The 7th Guest (blog)  **

The Beginner's Guide (stream)  **

The Long Dark   **

The Outer Worlds - I haven’t played this yet but would be extremely delighted for an excuse to pick it up and start.

The Walking Dead game - I watched Hubby play the first two installments, haven’t seen beyond that. Felt the second was weak, LOVED the first. I’ve been hanging on Holligay’s playthrough, so I’m relatively familiar with the story again, save the last episode, which she’s not played yet. I’ve been wanting to before she did, to compare what I think she’ll do to what she actually does, so an excuse to get going on that would be welcome.

The Witcher 3 (stream) - I know @jewishsuperfam loves The Witcher, AND THAT IS ALL I KNOW.

Undertale (blog) - AREN’T I LIKE TWO MINUTES FROM FINISHING THIS. The fight where I left off was frustrating THE PISS out of me, but if this gets in, I’ll get Hubby to read up on what I need to do, and maybe get around that fight before the liveblog, so I don’t spend the whole time getting nowhere and then punching my monitor.

Untitled Goose Game (stream) - I just last month finished this on the Patreon! I need to double check that it would be out of the exclusivity window, but if so, I’d be happy to release it for you guys. I had a great time, but I don’t think there’s much to be regained from playing it again.

VA-11 Hall-A (blog)  **

VooDoo Vance: Remastered  **

Wattam  **

We Happy Few (stream) - I know the basic storyline premise, but little else.

What Remains of Edith Finch (blog) - I watched Holligay’s stream of this and loved the story.

Wild Arms 3  **

Wild ARMs XF (blog)  **

Yakuza 0 (stream)  **

Zero Escape 999 (blog)  **

AND THAT’S THAT. Sailor Moon Day and Miscellaneous don’t require much input from me ahead of time, I don’t feel, but if you have a question on anything there -- or something that’s unclear here, just shoot me an Ask. AND IF YOU FOUND THIS USEFUL PLEASE LET ME KNOW. It took me ... just SO much longer than I was expecting it to. Which I don’t mind, but if it’s not actually helpful to anyone, that’s time better spent elsewhere next year.

[highgaarden]

The One Where Caroline Rides A Horse And The Salvatores Win Top Chef

many moons ago, i was lucky enough to be involved in a massive writing ficathon project with a handful of absolutely talented writers. i stumbled upon it by chance when i was traversing my dusty, abandoned livejournal, laughed to myself way too many times, and decided that i simply must share it here. so without further ado...

Title | A Chinese Whispers Fic; Or, The One Where Caroline Rides A Horse And The Salvatores Win Top Chef Authors | catteo, swirlsofblue, cranmers, jane_wanderlust, kwritten, bogwitch, kachera, steph2311, ovariesofsteel, nereemac, lizwontcry, jeremy_finch, elenarain and waltzmatildah Artist | pamsblau Fandom | The Vampire Diaries Characters/Pairings | Rebekah, Damon, Stefan, Caroline, Klaus, Elijah, Finn, Bonnie, Elena, Jeremy, Katherine, Alaric (Klaus/Caroline, Rebekah/Damon, Katherine/Jeremy, Bonnie/Finn) Rating | MA Word Count | 10000 Summary | This fic was written by a team of authors who were only given the several hundred most recently written words to work from each time they added a new section. It doesn’t make sense, it’s not supposed to make sense! It’s supposed to be crack, and it is! Crack, glorious crack! The title says it all, really… .

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ONE: The Part Where Caroline Rides A Horse And Rebekah Rides Damon

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The clock on the kitchen wall tells him it’s four twenty seven. AM or PM is anyone’s guess as the little hand fails to tick a languid journey around the circular face. Damon makes a brief mental note: must buy batteries. Amends: rechargeable batteries. From the inky black that still shrouds the windows, drapes pulled slightly askew as he wanders back into the living room, he guesses the harsh light of morning remains hours out of reach. He takes to cataloguing the damage done as a means to pass the time. A resounding crack in the plasterboard where his shoulder-blades had connected roughly with a support beam. Jagged fragments of vase and lamp and picture frame, shattered, confetti-like, along the length of one hallway. He winces as he bends to collect the larger shards. Notes he can no longer tell the Ming from the Portland and offers up a soft sigh of relief that they’d only been replicas of the real things. There’s a dent in a silver serving tray that looks suspiciously like the curve of Rebekah’s ass. Which is odd because he doesn’t remember them making it as far as the liquor cabinet. Which is empty so… Hmm. Okay. ------ “What are you doing?” He double-takes at the sight of her, naked and dishevelled at the base of the staircase. Imagines glass shards pricking at the soles of her feet and shudders at the inevitability of bloodstains on his oriental carpets. “I’m vacuuming.” His reply swallowed by the airy roar of the device’s motor. “It’s the middle of the night.” He doesn’t really see her point. Tells her. “I don’t really see your point.” “Come to bed.” Which is funnier than it should be but only because, by the smell of her, she’s been rolling around between Stefan’s sheets since they parted ways at the top of the stairs. Naked and breathless and, admittedly, kind of sore. Jesus. “We could have sex again,” she offers. As though she can read his mind. And he must admit, the thought of fucking an Original in his brother’s bed is seven levels of tempting, but… “I’m vacuuming.” Because this mess won’t clean itself up. And it’s not like he can trust anyone else to do it for him. At least, not properly… She pouts, but then… “I’ve never used one of those before…” ------ With a degree of reluctance that is only almost embarrassing, he finds himself handing over control. And when exactly was it that he became this person? This person that could enthusiastically share cleaning tips with his naked sexual conquests. He thinks there must be something about this particular one and the almost wistful way in which she’d regarded the newest member of his collection. The Dyson DC39. Purchased especially because Ric has allergies… Also, the lifetime (heh) HEPA filter warranty and the latest in Radial Cyclone technologies had also been a top selling point. But she’s not quite doing it right he notes. Her sweeping motion with the nozzle entirely too haphazard to ensure optimum debris collection. And he arcs his chest around her bare back then, slides one arm along the length of hers and grips the handle just below where her fingers are tightly entwined. Guides the head of the cleaner into a more fluid motion that is easier to maintain. “Oh,” he hears her whisper. Soft against the side of his neck. “I think I understand it now…” Which is lucky. Because that’s the moment Caroline chooses to ride in. ------ “Is that a - ”No. Ridiculous, he thinks. I’m obviously drunk. Vaguely, he feels his grip loosen on Rebekah’s hand. Notes out of the corner of his eye that she keeps up the fluid, efficient motion he’d taught her moments ago but is too busy gaping at Vampire Barbie 2.0 sitting atop her rather large black horse. Side-saddle, he notes. As if it matters. “Yes. It is a horse. No, you’re not drunk.” She rolls her eyes. “Okay, maybe you are drunk. But this is still me. On a horse.” “In my living room.” Ask him later, and he’ll tell you this is the most hilarious scenario to be part of in almost a century. Right now he’s too busy thinking about the possibility of the animal making a mess on his new Persian rug. Because there is no other logical action that he can think of, Damon rubs a hand over his face and heads for the liquor cabinet. He’s almost there when he remembers it’s disappointingly empty. Luckily, he remembers he keeps a bottle hidden in his room especially for the rare instance in which he runs out downstairs. “Excuse me.” He doesn’t wait for an answer before speeding up the stairs. “Nice ass, Damon!” “Bite me, blondie!” ------- A still naked Rebekah continues vacuuming as if nothing awkward has happened. “Well. I see Niklaus is going for big and bold. He always did seem to overcompensate.” Caroline laughs, despite herself. “What the hell am I supposed to do with a horse? And why are you naked?” “That’s rather obvious, isn’t it? You ride it. Which works as an answer for both questions, doesn’t it?” “But I have nowhere to keep a horse. Or money to pay someone else to keep it for me. Or the desire to own a horse! They’re pretty, yes, but that’s it! When your crazy sociopath hybrid brother asked me if I liked the horse I was looking at, I didn’t think it was so he could make up his mind to buy me one!” The Original gives up on the vacuum when she hears the younger blonde’s hysterics. Notes, rather proudly, that she’s managed to make the carpet look quite like new. “Caroline, this happens to be a very beautiful horse. You happen to look fabulous riding it, as much as it pains me to say, but if neither of those things matter to you, then just give it back.” A rather loud plop, followed by a rather strong odour, serves to punctuate Rebekah’s words of wisdom. ------ Rebekah rolls her eyes as she realises that it doesn’t matter how proficient she is at naked housework, the Persian rug is done for. Damon’s going to be furious. He still hasn’t gotten over Stefan’s sorority girls breaking his crystal decanter during a particularly vigorous game of ‘Twister’ last month. Apparently he was saving it for an especially significant dramatic moment. She realises she’s probably going to have to keep him occupied. Also, she really needs to find out what ‘Twister’ is. “Where are you going? You can’t leave me!” Caroline’s looking a little wild around the eyes. Rebekah wrinkles her nose in distaste as she navigates her way around the rug. “I’m going to distract Damon. You should probably get rid of this. And maybe that.” She gestures vaguely towards the horse. “No hurry. We’ll be a while. I’m sure that Nik would be only too happy to keep you…” She pauses a beat. “Busy.” She blurs upstairs to the sound of Caroline’s new horse snorting in perfect tandem to Caroline herself. Rebekah gives a passing thought to the parquet floors as she goes – manure is so tough to remove from wood. She’s spared any further rumination on the finer points of housekeeping by Damon, wrapping his arm around her waist and tackling her to the bed. “God, you’re sexy when you vacuum.” Damon lifts an eyebrow, pouts slightly, picks up a twenty-five year aged malt and slowly pours it over her body. Busies himself for the next twenty minutes licking it off. It’s the most fun Rebekah’s had since she learned that vinegar could remove lime-scale. Damon’s teaching her a lot. Her back arches as Damon buries a head between her legs, fangs bared. She forgets all about housework. ------ Meanwhile, downstairs, Caroline is finding that there are a lot of things that a horse won’t do. Make a tight turn in a crowded sitting room for example. There are all kinds of things trodden into the carpet and she decides that it’s probably best to leave whilst she still can. The last thing she needs is an irate Damon sprinting down the stairs. The back view was quite enough to be coping with for one day. Besides, she has an original hybrid to deal with. She aims the horse towards the French doors and discovers, as they crash through a window, that the steering is nowhere near as good as her Dodge. She’s not sure if the screaming coming from Damon’s room is pleasure or fury. Decides not to stick around to find out. She flicks the reigns and feels a thrill rush through her as muscles bunch and flow under her, racing towards Klaus’ tastefully renovated home. READ MORE ON LJ

[aro-throughyourchest]

Review (kind of) of Time Crapsules

SPOILERS ALONG THE WAY (You knew that)

TIMESTAMPS ALONG THE WAY (A lot of them)

(0:11) I’m not ashamed to admit that got a chuckle out of me- “What’s inside- They’re empty! :D” ~ If I’m alive years from now, David. Or I might end up crawling up into a ball, sobbing, because I wanted to be a writer when I was little but ended up as a janitor or something.

~

(1:02) Kind of unrelated, but that reminds of a book I saw at Walmart. I think (I hope) it’s still there. “Burn after writing.”

You put everything you would never want to share in a tiny little book and then sacrifice it to the fire gods. (Fancy for burning it.) I’m probably write in that than a diary. Back to the diary, why did Gwen keep it? Anyone in their right mind would light it in an instant; let alone, take it to the summer camp you work at with evil little children who want to fuck up your life!

~

WHY DID YOU KEEP IT?!

~ (1:11) When did she write this? When she was Max’s age? If Gwen was older than 11, she really has no excuse for jackshit of this.

~

Why are there so many things of girls (some) thirsting over wolves? WOLVES ARE FUCKIN’ TERRIFYING! ~

Fuck... That hurts. That legitimately hurts. Ouch, Gwen. I feel like I have to say sorry...

~ Oh God, I’m just imagining. Hearing a letter being read to yourself about your hopes and dreams, which obviously never came true. You had such high expectations for yourself, but now you’re stuck at a minimum wage job that you despise while everyone around you is successful. Even your fucking dog is successful! And to emphasize your position in life, a bunch of children are laughing at you.

~

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, guess what, it’s time to skip! :D ~

This Max shot is golden. Also, oof, buddy. Oof.

~

(3:10) Did I need to look up those words even though a fictional 10-year-old child knows them? N-NO! HAHAHA HAHAHA- Heh... Heh. ._. ~

That apology is so fake my Barbies from when I was 6 are feeling jealous.

~

(4:26) Gwenmom is the best. ~

(4:48) Dolph is a rattle. Seriously though, I find his little shake adorable. ~

Gwen, there is a 10-year-old right in front of you. Keep your un-PG to yourself, please and thank you. ~

I’m disgusted as well, but Gwen, you literally just did the same thing. ~

Ooh, this guy does not make Max feel comfortable. ~

I wouldn’t be surprised if Nikki doesn’t feel pain from how much adventuring she does. ~

(6:56) Nikki, you’re 10. FUCKIN’ 10. And when you do die, you’ll probably go out with a fucking bang like wrestling a bear while falling off a cliff. ~

Gwen’s writing worries me. Oh, so much.

~

Ooh, Max is not happy. I wonder if that could be used as blackmail... ~

Gwen and Max’s fight hurts, but it’s so believable. And the music in the back. DEAR GOD, THE MUSIC IN THE BACK! Whenever it has it heated the trumpet, cello, and violin (I think) all combine, but when someone gets hurt and talks from their heart, only the cello plays. Then it goes back to the main three. ~

(9:00 - 9:30)The drama of this scene. *Holds up teapot* Anybody wants any more tea?

~

(11:22) I can agree. Burn all them boxes. ~

HOLY CRAP, THE EPISODE IS 11 MINUTES LONG- ~

Alright, fuck it. This may be the best episode of season 4. I was grinning ear to ear as the moral was given. And OK, Gwen’s books gave me a little panic attack considering, they all sound like hot garbage. Space Kid’s thing about clocks is a bit concerning, but I’m sure he’s fine. It’d be hilarious if they brought back the Walk to Remember thing to use against Max, although there’s a huge chance they won’t, I don’t mind. Alright, maybe a little-  (I’ve stated my thoughts about how they treat things as a whole in a different post.)

I hope season 5 includes more about things they left unsaid the whole series, but who knows! Until next season, Camp Camp.

CAMPE DIEM!

[britnxyspears]

Okay so in the tags of my last post I mentioned I don't like the newer Barbie movies and I know not a single soul gives a crap because I don't have any?? Barbie followers??? Just followers who know I like Barbie and tag me in Barbie stuff and have a softcore nostalgia for some of the barbie stuff in their childhoods. W/E.

But I've been watching more Barbie movies lately because I've been incredibly manic depressive and they're also a really good buffer when I read/watch/listen to something incredibly sad disturbing or otherwise negative. And they're surprisingly accessible.

So here's my thing. The older Barbie movies are FANTASTIC. Like, they're incredibly creative, the stories are actually really engaging, and especially with a lot of fairytale ones, keep fairytales feeling very fresh without trying ridiculously hard. That's the stuff I loved about them as a kiddo. The music in them is also spectacular, even ones that aren't musicals. The villains are really fun and unlike a lot of other media pushed to girls, ugly does not equal bad. Almost all of the times you're expected to be met with ugly equals bad, you're usually met with the expectation being thrown out the door. Barber's character (with the exception of A Christmas Carol, for good reason) is always pleasant to everyone, even those the aimed audience or even other characters in the story are repulsed by on instinct, because they aren't pretty.

The one bad thing about them is the computer animation was lower budget and is quite dated in many of them. I don't think they would have been better In 2d animation, because they really used the best out of the 3danimation they had to work with!

The movies look dated, but are still incredibly beautiful. You can tell that despite a lot of extras being duplicated, and carried over, a lot of thought and detail was put into them. I think this is the most evident in the Fairytopia universe. The environment far outshines the repetitiveness of some character designs.

So you'd think, with bigger budget and better computer animation... The new Barbie movies would be fanTASTIC?

They... aren't. A lot of them were really hard for me to get through all the way. So I gave up. I'm sure there's a few gems in there but for the most part, they're boring, and messages that are there feel very fake and forced Girl Power!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!! And the concepts aren't... really that great for a 2 hour or 1:30 hour movie... a lot of them feel like episodes of something that are stretched out wayyyy too long. Barbie also feels really out of character in a lot of these?? She seems very irresponsible and lacks a lot of personality besides glamour. In some cases she even comes off as weirdly unpresent... In her own movies.

The animation fell down too. Like, I know I'm bias, but Barbie.... doesn't look like Barbie... In like, any of them. She looks like a very generic big detail eyed blonde girl like in almost every computer animated children's film. She also looks waaaaaay younger (When Barbie turned 50, the back of her collector's anniversary doll box said "she doesn't look a day over 25" so that's about the age post "Barbie the teenage fashion model" era she is) than she should. And in my opinion, that takes a lot away.

The ugliest film, the weirdest film, and the film with the youngest Barbie, The Barbie Diaries, STILL is so much better than these new films in every aspect! It's fun, it's unique, the concept is a little weird and a little cliche, but it's still like. A good movie.

The best thing to come out of modern Barbie entertainment is Life in the Dreamhouse, which is hilarious, and much like the previously mentioned Barbie Diaries above in style.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #202

"a-m-e-r-i-c-a, home of the free, the sick, and the depraved."

Is there a gang problem in your area? No. Would you date an already-attached person? I'm monogamous and can't stand the idea of cheating. So no. What vaccine that you’ve received hurt the most? Oh I can't remember, I got all my vaccines waaaay back. On that note actually, vaccinate ya fuckin kids. :) Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Well, I've never done it before. Partially because without my own vehicle or money, I couldn't really take anyone out myself. Who was the last person you hung out with? Girt. Do you watch Oprah? No. Do you drool when you sleep? Very rarely. Is there anyone you're waiting for to get on the computer/call you/txt you? It'd be fucking lovely if my previous school would give me my fucking transcript already. But communication is impossible with them. Do you put deodorant on everyday? If I'm staying home all day in my pjs and I smell fine, then no. I do if before leaving the house no matter the circumstance, and also if I just do think I need it at home. Is Pluto a planet? Pluto is a GODDAMN PLANET fucking 1v1 me if you think she's not I stg. Do you make up your own words? No. Do you know anyone who self harms? Not in the current time, thankfully. That I'm aware of, anyway. Who is the most influential person in your life right now? Sara gives me the most motivation. Do you like Gummy Bears? Yeah, man. Do you like the game Tetris? No. I don't enjoy quick, timed puzzle games like that at all. When do you normally go to bed? Nowadays it can be as early as 8, or at most ~11. Lately I've been going to bed around 9. When was the last time you did something for the first time? Early February. Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter? Valentine's. Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? We're usually more last-minute. What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? N/A What do you use to sweeten your tea? N/A Which dollar store do you like best? *shrugs* Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No. What’s one challenge you want to complete for youtube? N/A If you make youtube videos, do you have a posting schedule? No. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? Probably recently? Can't recall what. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yeah. Would you rather go to London, Paris, or Tokyo? Probably Tokyo. Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Hilary Duff. Which Olsen twin was your favorite: Mary-Kate or Ashley, and why? I remember like, nothing about them. Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? If I wanna dress up, that's pretty much my only option. Do you enjoy putting outfits together? I'm indifferent. What does your umbrella look like? It's just black. Do you like stuffed animals? YES. Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? Well, this is pretty relevant (I need the scores to resume school). I'm so sure I took it, but apparently not... Do you spent more time in your bedroom or your living room? I live in my room. Do you name stuffed animals still? Not usually. Do you still own your favorite Barbie? I wasn't into Barbies. What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? I dunno. What’s your favorite thing about yourself? I'm really, really passionate. Have you ever celebrated Valentine’s Day when you were single? No. Do you have any family members that you’ve never met? Plenty of my extended family, and then I don't know one of my sisters. If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in? Just North Carolina. Who was your best roommate? Well it was my then-boyfriend, his best friend, his friend's then-gf, and myself, so I'd obviously choose Jason. What types of YouTube videos are your favorite to watch? Mark's ego ones are my all-time favorites, but if you mean like a general category, let's plays. Which do you watch more: TV, YouTube, or movies? I almost exclusively watch YT. Have you ever wanted to be a model? No. What years did you attend prom? '12 and '14. Do you like your name how it’s spelled? I'm fine with it, but I'd prefer "Brittney," as it's spelled more accurately in terms of how it's pronounced. Did you ever want to be famous? No. Who was your first online friend? Emma. Peruse your bookshelf. Which genre dominates? I don't have one/I don't really read. Does mail get delivered to your door or do you have a mailbox outside? There's a box. If you got a gift card for 50 [your currency], what would you get? I'd save it. Are you good at trivia games? Noooo. If you wear makeup, what’s the most outrageous color you use? I don't use anything unordinary, if I even wear any. What’s the longest song you’ve ever listened to? Shit dude, I'm not sure. "Free Bird" is definitely up there. Do you like garlic bread? Give me ALL of it. Would you ever date someone who didn’t believe in marriage? No; I personally want to be married, so that'd cause some issues. I'd also be concerned that they're not as committed to the relationship as me. What’s the funniest book you’ve ever read? I recall Bite Me: A Love Story by Christopher Moore being pretty funny. Do you think most teenagers are becoming vegetarians just to look cool? No? Have you ever tried climbing a tree? No. When’s the last time you ate a taco? I hate tacos. Would you be more likely to kill yourself or die getting shot? Idk. I've lived through suicidal eras before, and I don't see why I'd be a target to be shot. So it's sad to say, but probably kill myself on impulse. I don't see that ever happening, but just answering the question. 3 things you like to learn about: Meerkats, Mark (look I really don't mean it in a creepy way, I'm just genuinely interested in learning about him), and conspiracy theories. What’s something you could debate about for hours? WOW, never make me do that. Debating gives me anxiety attacks in extreme cases. Has anyone ever called you charming? Maybe? Do you own a pearl necklace? No. What chances do you think you have of becoming a divorcee? Very small; I'm super, super picky with relationships and wouldn't dare marry someone if I had doubts. Would you prefer a black or white cellphone, or a bright colored one? Colored. Does your mom, dad, or siblings play any instruments? No. Your last ex: how did you two get together? He finally admitted he liked me, and though I wasn't totally sure how I felt about him (bf or bro), I decided to give it a shot. What’s the best food for sleepovers? You can't fail with pizza. Does your mom dye her hair? Sometimes, when she's annoyed enough by the gray. If yes, does she deny that she does? No. Are ‘personal response’ essays painful to write for you? Back in school, not at all. How far can you run without breaking a sweat? WHOA girl who told you I RUN??????????? Do you/your parents have any creepy pictures or painting up on the wall? I've been told the Silent Hill stuff is creepy. What’s the best kind of video game? (Adventure, shooting, etc) Horror. I just think it's super cool how something not real can terrify you or literally stop you from moving forward. Do you know anyone who has road rage? MY YOUNGER SISTER. How would you react if your mom got a lip piercing? WOW. I'd be stunned all right. What/who do you take the most pictures of? Nature. Have you been in a play? In elementary and Sunday school. Fries or onion rings? Fries. Do you have a grandparent who refuses to go to an old folk’s home? I only have one, and no, she's still capable of caring for herself. Have you ever made an article of clothing yourself? If so, what was it? No. Do you go to arcades? If so, what’s your go-to game at one? No, but I am SO determined to at least go to one with the Silent Hill arcade game that's incredibly rare. If you were a fantasy character, would you be a warrior, a mage or a rogue? Mage. What tempts you frequently? Tattoos the moment I have money in my hand akdslfjawoei. What’s something that will always distract you from what you’re doing? Loud noises or talking at any volume. Who is the most wonderful, amazing person in your life right now? Sara. My Sara Jane 110%. <3 Do you carry a backpack, a shoulder bag, or a purse? A purse. What’s something attractive in a member of your own gender? I'll answer physically and mentally. Physical: godDAMN do hips do it for me. Mentally: an open, questioning mind hungry to learn. What’s something repulsive in a member of your own gender? Physical: just bad hygiene. I don't find any bodily feature in specific as "repulsive." Mentally: A know-it-all, bitchy attitude. Do your pets sleep next to you at night? Roman always starts off in my bed, usually right beside my head (which is SO damn cute), but occasionally he moves around to other places. Teddy also starts off on the bed if he wants up, but typically jumps down after a while to go to the couch instead. What’s the farthest country you’ve met someone from? Irl, Japan. Online buddies, Australia. Who is your favorite movie villain? Harley Quinn from Suicide Squad, probably. Man, mentioning it makes me wanna watch it again. Or maybe Dark Alessa from the first SH movie as she wonderfully played for a child (she's the youngest nominee ever for the Emmy's AND Genies, y'all) and a truly intimidating character. What’s your favorite flavor of mousse? I don't even remember how it tastes. Do you prefer fruit or berries? ... Berries are fruit? But I get what you're asking, and I think "normal" fruit, despite my favorite fruit being strawberries. Have you ever kept a food diary? I don't believe so. Have you ever calculated whether you get enough minerals and vitamins in your diet? Not myself, but doctors have determined I don't. I know I had a sickening deficit of vitamin D, though; I have to take the vitamin twice a week now. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? That's fucking evil. No. Was your first kiss romantic? It was cute. I guess kinda romantic. Have you ever liked anyone that was in a relationship with someone else? Yes. Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? No. Did you ever think someone didn’t like you, but come to find out they really did? I wasn't sure if Sara liked me /romantically/. If you were a school, what would your mascot be? Uhhh I'm not sure. Which of Taylor Swift’s music videos is your favorite? I don't listen to her, nor have I seen her music videos. Do you like your mom’s wedding dress? I don't know if I've ever seen it but in old pictures maybe. Who was the last person to hurt you tremendously? Probably Mom. Have you tried Wii Fit? Yeah, it's a great way to lose weight and tone up. Who did you last make food for? Besides myself, Sara. Have you ever taken a survey while drunk or high? No. Do you have any relatives in a mental hospital? No. Have you ever worn those Drunk Goggles? Yeah, once in D.A.R.E. Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? Agree to disagree is pretty easy for me. Rodeos – entertaining, or cruel? FUCK-ING CRUEL. HOW IS IT STILL LEGAL. Who is the best female rocker? Why? As far as singing goes, I looove Angela Gossow from Arch Enemy. The new singer is fine, too. What color of roses do you find the prettiest? A pink/peach gradient sort of one. Or just red. Do you draw fanart of anything? Not regularly at all, but I have before. Do you like the smell of books? Not very much. What’s on your Reading List, so-to-speak, right now? Nothing. Favorite thing to see in museums? Fossils. What things have people shamed you for? Certain controversial opinions, supposedly always wanting pity when I absolutely don't, etc. Do you always reply to private messages? (On any website) Usually, unless they're creepy or it's someone trying to sell a product. Do you like knock-knock jokes? No, I find zero humor in them. Do you prefer earphones or the ear-muff style headphones? Muffs; they block out external sound more and are generally of a higher audio quality. What is one way someone could completely put you off on a first date? Rudeness. What about a way someone could make you like them more on a first date? A good sense of humor. What was the last music video you watched? Did you like it? No clue. Does your voice change when you talk to certain people? Yeah. What’s your favorite chocolate in the valentine box? The ones filled with fudge. What’s your favorite thrift store? *shrugs* Would you ever share your most embarrassing moment publicly? No. Do you eat yogurt a lot? No; not a big fan. What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? None; my issues are diagnosed. ACTUALLY, I still question if I have a tamer form of BPD, but my therapist sees just bipolarity in me, despite fitting quite a few of the qualifiers for an official diagnosis. Oh yeah, I also know I have carpal tunnel, but I'm not diagnosed with it. Which one of your parents do you think is smarter? Oh jeez. I love you, Dad, but Mom is in most areas. My father has ZERO common sense (where I got it from, I'm sure) and has to hear something five billion times before he understands. Which parent do you think you inherited your intelligence level from? Mom. Do you store your bike in a garage for the winter? I don’t have a bike. Have you ever had a professional make-over? No. Have you ever had a professional photo shoot? When my sisters and I were very young, we always got Easter pictures done. As an adult, no. What’s your favorite way to style your hair? I can't really style it much at the length it is, but what I do prefer is having the short hair on the left side of my head positioned towards my face to help conceal the part in my hair that goes from "boy-short" to a bit longer. Also, I just don't enjoy it as much angled down. What irritates you about your daily life? Being alone nearly all day with not a damn thing to do. Doing the same shit every single day gets old. And fast. What makes you feel more creative? Above anything else, MUSIC. It plays such an influence in my drawings and story development. What’s your anti-depressant? Show me Mark laughing his ass off at that stupid "shoosh" thing or watching meerkats be cute. Music can be, sometimes. What’s your favorite fragrance? I'm assuming you mean things like perfume? In that case, something subtle and fresh, like a weak floral sort. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? I don't believe so. Do you ever babysit? No. I did it once in my life years upon years ago for my former neighbor, and while she was a good kid, I was CLUELESS on what to do/how to really interact as much as an adult should with a toddler. Then changing a diaper, jfc. Thank God she hadn't shit in it, because then it woulda been all over. I was only less stressed when Jason came over because hi former man/baby heart throbbing that used to make my abstinent uterus cry, how are ya. We ended up all on the couch together napping, so I mean, I guess mission accomplished???? But yeah, never will again. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? Latuda + Lamictal played a massive part in literally saving my life. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown, I think? Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? Totally a science experiment. What was the last thing you spray-painted? My hair probably for some Halloween event, I think? Do you paint rocks and hide them in your town? ... Is this a thing?????????? Do you have any cousins who look like you? No. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. What’s one thing you are bad at drawing? Hands. HANDS. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No. Did you ever play pranks on April Fool’s Day? Not anymore. Have you ever played a prank and later regretted it? I've mentioned before my sister, our neighbor, and I had a phase of being asshole kids making prank phone calls, so that. Does chronic illness keep you from doing the things you want to do? Not exactly; I guess a good metaphor would be it's like being a chained dog with the leash about to break. I can't seem to get to some places yet, but I'm putting sincere effort into overcoming those limitations. Do you part your hair on the left side, right side, or in the middle? Left. Do you have bangs? No. Do you think you look good with bangs? NO. When was the last time you got an injection? I believe when I was getting a cavity filled at the dentist, so I had numbing shots. How often do you charge your phone? Depends on how much it's used, but maybe every other day, usually? In a house fire, what three things would you save? My mom, dog, and snake. How long is the journey to get to school or work? N/A Where did you meet your best friend? YouTube. Do you use body wash, shower gel, or soap? Body wash. Do you use public transport regularly? No. Who do you usually say hello or good morning first? Mom sometimes or one of the pets. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. What’s your favorite color of carnation? I just looked up pictures to remember what they were, and I really like those white and pink ones. Do you/have you worked a job where you could bring leftover food home from? No. Who or what greets you at the door every time you come home? Teddy and Bentley. Do you ever chat about your favorite video games with your friends? Silent Hill, yes. I'm an admin on its wiki, so pay attention to everything that's going on and contribute to blog posts/forums if I'm not a lazy shit that doesn't wanna read long things. Girt and I talk about World of Warcraft occasionally. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? I haven't had an omelet in, God, forever, but I love the ones with American cheese and bits of ham. Are you currently studying a language? If so, which one? None currently. Do you have free tickets for anything that need to be used soon? Idk. How many things do you remember from the first few years of your life? Oh, boy. I have incredible long-term memory, but it only spans back so far, and I don't know how many years qualifies as just "the first few." I'm also HORRIBLE at categorizing events by age. But w/e, just gonna guesstimate like, 1-4. 1.) I watched my insane brother go down the slide of our playset into the essential lake Hurricane Floyd caused in our yard; 2.) lots of things in pre-k, 3.) being babysat, and our first one always gave Nicole and me moonpies; 4.) going to an absolutely awful daycare where I had my hand slapped by a teacher just for unknowingly going into the wrong room to pick up a toy during playtime (I literally sobbed my lungs out until Mom got me, and she never took me back); 5.) mentioning her, I had AWFUL separation anxiety; 6.) I very publicly had a M E N T A L  B R E A K D O W N before I got my blood drawn for the first time (at least at the age where I could understand what was about to happen); 7.) playing with my best friend; and that's all for now. I'm sure there's a whole lot more. NONONONONONO WAIT. So this is super specific, but boy do I remember it. Nap time. Nope. The teacher would have quiet instrumental music on, and I remember so well that if "Für Elise" came on, I would secretly be crying on my "bed" with this random vision of my mom literally melting while looking horrified. Look, I don't. I don't understand either. A child's brain is one hell of an artist. What is something that you would you say you have an advanced knowledge of? Will I ever answer questions like these with anything other than "meerkats?" What is a restaurant that you would never eat at? Anything sketchy, for one. If it doesn't look decently hygienic, I'm not touching anything there. What historical event do you have an advanced knowledge of? HA, none. What is a phrase that you use that you don’t hear many other people use? I dunno. Well, there's "gg" ("good game"=[usually] sarcastic "good job"), which is pretty much gamer terminology; I've said it before in front of people and yeah, didn't understand. Who’s the last person you told a secret to? Either Sara or Mom, idr. Which side of the bed do you sleep on? I sleep more towards the middle of my bed, but I am closer to the left side. Are you currently looking for a job? I'm desperate enough for a job that I'm in vocational rehab. Think that's a sufficient answer. Is there anything currently hurting on your body? Surprisingly not. When was the last time you were told you were cute? *shrugs* Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? Dad or Kim, I think. Do your parents really know you? Mom, for sure. I don't feel that Dad truly knows me deeply. Like he's familiar with some things I enjoy and my timidness, but I think that's... kinda it? I mean I'm a whoooole different person from what I was when he left, and there were a couple years before I spoke to him again, so that's a large period of time to change. I do know some of our political/moral beliefs are inverse of each other, and I've got a feeling just from me knowing him that he likely doesn't take mental illness like depression very seriously, and with me being. Me. Disorders are apparently attracted to me. But seriously, as I wrote, I don't know if that's at all true. Honestly who was the first person to tell you they love you? Romantically or platonically? I can pretty much guarantee my mom was the first person to say that ever, but romantically, idk. Probably one of those two boys that wouldn't leave me alone for anything.in pre-k, though I think it's quite obvious neither loved me at that age. Have you ever broken up with someone and become bitter enemies? No. Were you ever obsessed with Vitamin Water? I don't think I've ever even tried it. Have you ever had a weird dream and obsessed over what it might mean? No, as I don't feel they have any strange/"special" meanings. Or do you usually forget about your dreams? And then there's also that. Which languages can you speak? English, some simple German. Which language do you speak the most and why? English, because I was raised speaking it. What celebrities, if any, have you seen naked? None. I know, SHOCKING. Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? Yeah. Have you ever wondered what somebody looks like naked? Sure. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? I plead the 5th. Do you think guys look good in makeup? You ROCK THAT SHIT, QUEEN. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? I like face masks, but it's not something we buy. Instead I just use Biore charcoal scrub. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? N/A Is there an automatic fog light in your yard? No. What’s your go-to activity when you’re bored? Surveys, usually. Have you ever worked in an office? No.

[givemearmstopraywith]

4, 6, 7, 17, 19, 20, 23, 29, 49, 55, 62, 64, 80, 84, 88, 98 (yeah it's a Lot lol sorry)

answers under the cut, thank you for asking so many- it’s been a wonderful distraction!!

send me a number!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? hilariously, I was homeschooled by my mother from preschool until i finished high school. i think her report cards described me as “very smart and excels when she applies herself, but easily distractible” or something like that. lmao

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? somewhere between boho and grunge i think. i like lots of florals and colours like yellow and red but i also have a lot of flannel.

7. earbuds or headphones? earbuds because i spent too much time in bed and i can’t lay on my side with headphones on lol

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? vegan doc martens!

19. sleeping position? i have chronic and crippling insomnia so usually i sleep on my side but lately it’s whatever i can get tbh

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? i write poetry and journal in a moleskine but i wrote fiction on my laptop. i find handwritten poetry is better, but i skimp on my diction when i handwrite fiction.

23. strange habits? hmm….i’m addicted to carbonated water, i obsessively fix my hair, and i use music as soundtracks to certain moods or emotions instead of like…actually having those emotions. i’m not sure if these are strictly habits but they are sort of strange.

29. best way to bond with you? tell me about yourself!! i love hearing people talk about themselves or the things that they’re interested in, i’m obsessed with human experience and the best feeling for me is when someone trusts me enough to tell me about themselves beyond that surface level of small talk. i just genuinely love people.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “i believe in love” (from both 100 years by florence + the machine and into my arms by nick cave and the bad seeds) and jack kerouac’s letter about staying soft!

55. favorite fairy tale? not totally a fairy tale, but there’s an old west yorkshire folk story about God and the devil placing bets over the souls in the valley below- i can’t find it online unfortunately but i love that story.

62. seven characters you relate to? oh man this is probably going to make me seem terrible… sansa stark from a song of ice and fire, eowyn from lord of the rings, takeshi kovacs from altered carbon, klaus hargreeves from the umbrella academy, kylo ren from star wars, camilla from the secret history, eleanor webb from byzantium.

64. favorite website from your childhood? either the old barbie website from the early 2000s or this educational site called funbrain (i used to read diary of a wimpy kid on there in like 2004)

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones!

84. podcasts or talk radio? i don’t listen to either very much because i’m hearing impaired but if i had to choose- talk radio. (i know too many white boys with english majors who want to start podcasts and it’s made me Afraid)

88. your greatest wish? oof probably to own my own home, be financially stable, and very happy in a place that isn’t where i currently live. that’s very depressing but it’s true.

98. favorite historical era? definitely the industrial age- from like 1780 to 1918. before i switched to doing a single major in literature i was going to study northern englush industrial history but they really don’t like women in that field apparently so i just gave up.

[2r4r0e4]

Movie Tag

@cassianpeia tagged me and this has been one of the hardest challenges of my life so we’re going to say that these are 10 INCREDIBLE movies instead of my top 10.

Let me put it this way. Although I see, appreciate and love the Disney Cinderella retellings starring Selena Gomez and Lucy Hale and my sister loves that new one with the girl from descendants, A Cinderella Story has Hilary Duff, Chad Michael Murray and flip phones. Watch it on Netflix!

Boarding school? Check. Channing Tatum? Check. Amanda Bynes? Check. A feministic rebellion 2006 style? Check. Tampons? Check. Watch She’s the Man now!

I’m going back to my roots next. Barbie Princess Charm School is a statement and I feel like there’s not much else to say about that. Im pretty sure it’s on Netflix.

The Spy That Dumped Me was worth the wait- and trust me have I been waiting. It had everything I need out of an action movie. Strong female leads. An Uber driver. A scary lizard lady. A hot British blonde with an accent to match.

The Princess Diaries are an essential part of childhood. Julia Andrews is a literal queen now. Also there’s a castle involved. It might be on Netflix...?

The Entire Harry Potter series. I don’t have a favorite, but my favorite scene is in the 5th one when they are in the huge room with the prophecies. Sidenote: we going to ignore how sweet Fred and George are here?!

To All The Boys I’ve Loved before is not only a toe-tingling romance and eerily relatable but it’s also on Netflix. Did I mention it’s really well made?

I can’t find a GIF for GForce, but I grew up on it so I’m not leaving it out. Ready? Spy guinea pigs. I know. 🤯🤯🤯

Beauty and the Beast. Enough said. Watch it on Netflix.

There’s multiple kinds of happy. Free taco happy. Cute puppy happy. Riding one of those electric rentable scooters happy. And then... there’s the happy you get when school gets canceled for three days, you’ve finished all your homework, you have great grades and you just got free chocolate. That’s the happy that Starstruck makes me, if only for a few hours.

@captainpersephone

[ao3feed-kurthummel]

In the world of fandoms

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3eqjbxM

by Tryingmikeywinters

Munro Jade Evans wakes up in a different body every day. Cliche storyline right? The one thing that sets this story aside from any other story where someone wakes up in a different body everyday, is the fact that Munro wakes up in the body of an original character, in a different fandom she is in everyday.

 (Tags are to be added, please read the first chapter as it will have a better explication:)

Words: 346, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Primeval, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Total Drama (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), The 100 (TV), Teen Wolf (TV), Zoo - Fandom, Heartland (TV), 僕��ヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Descendants (Disney Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Rise of the Guardians (2012), The Walking Dead (TV), Wolfblood (TV), Anne with an E (TV), Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug, Young Dracula (TV), Supernatural, Degrassi, Zootopia (2016), Lost Girl (TV), Merlin (TV), Dork Diaries Series - Rachel Renee Russell, Frozen (Disney Movies), Big Hero 6 (2014), Glee, Barbie - All Media Types, Sing (2016), Hannah Montana (TV), Dance Academy, Sonny with a Chance, Liv and Maddie, Bratz - All Media Types, Victorious (TV), Jurassic World Trilogy (Movies), Jessie (TV), Brave (2012)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: Mal (Disney), Carlos de Vil, Jay (Disney), Evie (Disney), Ben (Disney: Descendants), Harry Hook, Jane (Disney: Descendants), Uma (Disney), Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Connor Temple, Abby Maitland, Nick Cutter, Stephen Hart, Danny Quinn, Hilary James Becker, Gwen (Total Drama), Duncan (Total Drama), Noah (Total Drama), Courtney (Total Drama), Trent (Total Drama), Heather (Total Drama), Cody Anderson, Leshawna (Total Drama), Bridgette (Total Drama), Geoff (Total Drama), Lindsay (Total Drama), Tyler (Total Drama), Sierra (Total Drama), Alejandro Burromuerto, Zoey (Total Drama), Mike (Total Drama), Dawn (Total Drama), Beth (Total Drama), Harold McGrady V, Katie (Total Drama), Sadie (Total Drama), Eva (Total Drama), Izzy (Total Drama), Owen (Total Drama), Justin (Total Drama), Ezekiel (Total Drama), Scott (Total Drama), Sammy "Samey" (Total Drama), Sam (Total Drama), Anne Maria (Total Drama), Jasmine (Total Drama), Shawn (Total Drama), Sky (Total Drama), Topher (Total Drama), Ella (Total Drama), Kitty (Total Drama), Brody (Total Drama), Hiro Hamada, Tadashi Hamada, E. Aster Bunnymund, Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood), Ty Borden, Amy Fleming, Lou Fleming, Mallory Wells, Georgie Fleming-Morris, Maddy Smith (Wolfblood), Rhydian Morris, Rachel Berry, Sam Evans, Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez, Noah Puckerman, Mike Chang, Kurt Hummel, Maya Matlin, Mia Jones, Eli Goldsworthy, Adam Torres, Vladimir Dracula (Young Dracula), Ingrid Dracula, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury, Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Marc Anciel, Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Luka Couffaine, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Astrid Hofferson, Jade (Bratz), Yasmin (Bratz), Cloe (Bratz), Sasha (Bratz), Tara Webster, Kat Karamakov, Christian Reed, Sonny Munroe, Elsa (Disney), Anna (Disney), Nick Wilde, Judy Hopps, Owen Grady, Suoh Tamaki, Fujioka Haruhi, Hitachiin Hikaru, Hitachiin Kaoru, Kirishima Eijirou, Shinsou Hitoshi, Amajiki Tamaki, Toogata Mirio, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Isaac Lahey, Danny Mahealani, Derek Hale, Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake, Octavia Blake, Monty Green, Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Rick Grimes, Carl Grimes, Jesus (Walking Dead), Aaron (Walking Dead), Michonne (Walking Dead), Negan (Walking Dead), Maggie Greene, Beth Greene

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3eqjbxM This is an automatic feed of all new stories posted to the Kurt Hummel tag on AO3. Because of that, it is not guaranteed that Kurt is the main character in the story. There is also no judgment made as to ships, length, or warnings. Please verify content upon clicking through to AO3.