#but i still think pink shoes is the funniest

[isas-bathbombs]

You deserve questions too sammy!

For example, which barbie movie is your favorite?

OH MY GOD IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION

i have a few favs this is so hard 😭 in general its always been barbie fairy secret, mariposa and the fairy princess, princess charm school, and pink shoes.

whats urs??

[lou-struck]

'Family Photo'

Katsuki Bakugou, Eijirou Kirishima, and Denki Kaminari x reader Roommate AU!

W.C: 1.8k

~Denki disrupts your cozy afternoon at home to drag your household to the mall for a seasonal suprise.

“If anyone asks, you were the one who put this shit on, not me.” Katsuki Bakugo’s gruff voice warns from the other end of the light grey sectional. 

“It’ll be our little secret,” you smile, sinking deeper into the cushions.  You had gotten home from work earlier than anticipated today and came across the blond Pro-Hero engrossed in a cheesy christmas rom com, although this wasn't the first time you have caught him watching the Hallmark channel, he still tried to tell you that it was an accident. 

You continue to watch the screen in comfortable silence, engrossed in the cookie cutter plot of 

Cozy Sweater Gal and Big City Guy trying to save their hometown's bakery before the Christmas tree parade.

“Oh come on,” Katsuki mutters as the Sweater Girl forces another gingerbread themed pun, this time making Big City Guy laugh out loud for no apparent reason. “That joke isn't any better than the twenty other ones she made.”

“Oh come on Katsuki,” you huff throwing a pillow at the explosion hero. “They are falling in loveee, that’s why he suddenly thinks she’s funny.” 

“Whatever,” he mumbles, tucking the pillow under his chin. “I’m never gonna lose my great fuckin sense of humor.”

A strange feeling tugs at your chest at his words but you push him a bit farther. “Just wait, one day you’ll find someone and think they are the funniest person on the planet when no one else does.”

“You’re not tha~” He mumbles, whatever declaration your friend and roommate was about to make was suddenly interrupted by the front door bursting open. The cold winter air sending your pile of mail flying off the entry table. 

“Oh shoot my bad guys, the wind is going crazy out there,” your other roommate Eijirou Kirishima says, shutting the door and crouching down to pick up the scattered envelopes. While the crimson-haired hero is distracted, a pink cheeked Katsuki tossed the remote over to your side of the couch to hide the evidence. 

“How was your patrol Eiji?” you ask as he shucks off his jacket and joins you on the couch. 

“Cold, no matter how much I moved around I just couldn't get warm.” he rubs his hands together. “I think I’ll need to get my winter suit updated soon.”

“I think~” you are once again interrupted by the door swinging open, this time Denki Kaminari stumbles across the threshold, too focused on the armload of bags he is carrying to notice the clanging sound of wood on wood behind him.

Despite not having patrol or any hero related duties today, Chargebolt looks worse for wear. His yellow hair sticks out every which way as his cheeks are pink from the cold wind. His long scarf clings unevenly to his form as one side of it nearly drags along the ground. He didn't have patrol or anything so you really don't understand why he looks like he just got swept up into a tornado.

“God, we need to get a better doorstop,” you mutter, getting to your feet to help your third and final roommate with his shopping bags. “Here Denki, let me help you,”

His eyes go wide and he shuffles just beyond your reach. “Don’t look at them!” It’s quite a show watching him kick off his snow crusted shoes and stumble off to his bedroom to hide what must be Christmas presents. 

“Woah, what was that all about?” Kiri asks, flinching slightly as the wind takes hold of the door and slams it loudly. 

“Who knows?” you respond, settling back on the couch between your two roommates. “Denki loves Christmas more than anyone so I’m sure we’ll find out soon.”

~

20 minutes later, your legs are resting comfortably against Eijirou as you sneakily reach across Katsuki’s lapto steal another handful from his popcorn bowl. The blond pretends not to notice but you can see the hint of an amused smile on his lips as he keeps his eyes trained to the screen.

None of you are sure when you got so comfortable with each other, but things are perfect the way they are. 

Or so you tell yourself.

“This one is pretty good,” Eijirou says, watching as Big City gets the honor of lighting the town's ceremonial Christmas tree after the parade. 

“I agree,” you hum contentedly, not noticing your third roommate coming back into the room until he is standing directly in front of the screen. Now in view, you seee that his hair looks much better and he has changed his clothes. 

“Hey Dunce Face,” Katsuki growls, narrowing his eyes, “You’re blockin the screen. Move.”

Normally the threat would be enough to get Denki to scurry to the side without a second thought, but this time he stays strong. “Don’t care,” he grins, unplugging the tv from the wall. “Get up. We gotta get going before they close.”

Your eyes look between your other two roommates in confusion. “Where are we going?”

“To the Mall,” he declares, dramatically pointing toward the door. 

“What? Weren't you at the mall earlier today?”

“Exactly” he grins, which is why you all need to get up and come with me right now.”

“Why?” Eijirou asks, already sliding on his shoes. Out of everyone, you know he is the most in the mood for a spontaneous adventure.

“No questions, just come with me.”

“Hell no, do you know how crazy the mall is right now you idiot.” Katsuki says definitely pulling a blanket over his lap to prove that he has no intention of leaving the comfort of the couch. 

Denki’s lip quivers slightly, but his smile never falters. “Oh come on Man, if you come with me right now, I’ll do dishes for a month.”

“Damn,” The redhead mutters as both your and Katsuki’s eyes widen. 

Dish duty is no joke in your house.

~

The mall is crowded, but Denki weaves through the masses like a man on a mission. If it weren't for his bright yellow hair making him stand out like a beacon, you would lose him. 

“Slow down dumbass,” Katsuki yells following the eager man, not caring to mind his language. “You were the one who dragged us here.”

“Here,” Kiri says, grabbing your hand gently, “Stick with me so we don’t get separated.”

Butterflies fill your stomach as you nod and allow him to guide you through the crowd until you find where the other two ran off to. 

A photo studio, portraits of siblings, couples, sports teams, and families line the white walls with picture perfect grins and unsettlingly stiff posture. At the front desk sits an older woman wearing a bright green turtleneck sweater and dainty looking spectacles that reflect the computer screen.

 “I’m bacckkk,’ he cheers stepping onto the carpeted floor. “And I brought my roommates, just like I told you I would.” 

His big dopey grin brings a smile to the woman's face as she pushes back her chair. “You sure did, are you all ready for your Session?”

Once again, you are remarkably confused, but he just nods ignoring the puzzled expressions on your faces “Yes we are. Do you still have that bag I brought in earlier, Mai?”

The woman, who must be Mai nods and pulls out a large white paper shopping bag from under your desk. “Here you are, please be careful with putting them on. I don’t want you getting glitter all over my floor.

“Not a problem,” he grins, pulling out four sparkly red garments from the bag for all to see. 

“Let’s see here, this one is Kiri’s” he begins tossing the first bundle at the redhead's chest. 

“What’s this?” he murmurs, unfolding the garment until you realize it is an extremely ugly christmas sweater. He slides it over his head over his spiked hair without complaint. a bright red christmas sweater covered in embroidered snowflakes made of white yarn. Your red haired roommate takes it with confusion but has no objections to sliding the garment over his spiked hair. 

“Katsuki.” he sputters out quickly and tosses the garment in the blonde’s face before he can run. “Mine… anddd y/n.” he hands your sweater to you with a wink. “Have you figured out my brilliant plan yet?”

You nod as you toy with the heavy material. A bit of cheap glitter sticks to your hands but you don’t mind. “I think I’m getting there, you want us all to take a picture together.”

“You got it,” he says, his citrine eyes sparkle as they drift down to your neck, “ it looks like you have a tag, here let me take care of that for you.” his calloused fingers brush against the back of your neck, tucking the stray tag in. 

“Thanks.” you say in a small, suddenly self conscious voice. “You just saved me from having an ugly sweater malfunction.”

“Don’t mention it,” he grins. “But I don’t think it can be called an ugly sweater when you’re wearing it though.”

Hit flirty remark warms your cheeks as your fingers anxiously fiddle with the itchy sleeve. But you don’t even have a chance to respond before Katsuki’s loud voice interrupts your thoughts. 

“What the hell are these for Dumbass?”red glitter dusts his hair and face but it’s a pretty good look on him. 

“Our christmas cards.” Denki says brightly, “I thought that since we have all been living together for a while we should send out a christmas card. 

“Isn't that such a great idea?” you say brightly, and the Blond shuts his mouth and wordlessly readjusts the sweater he has been encouraged to wear. 

Mai leads you down the fluorescent lit hallways into the third studio on the right, when the door opens, you expect to see something akin to a family photoshoot setup in the early 2000’s but instead you are met with an adorable little photoshoot setup. A carefully decorated Christmas tree gleams in the ring lighting as a man in a Santa suit drinks from a bottle of water by a faux fireplace. He pulls his fake beard over his chin and waves at you. 

“Santa is here!” the redhead exclaims happily rushing up to the costumed man to give him a high five. His eagerness is adorable, and you find yourself smiling. 

“Can’t believe I'm doin this.” Katsuki grumbles as you walk in the camera’s view. “Haven't had a Santa picture since I was three.”

“Three?” you parrot, “that’s pretty young.”

His lips curl into a devilish smirk as his eyes gleam with nostalgia. “Yeah, we had to stop because I bit the Bastard. The old hag was furious but it made for a great christmas card.”

Tagging: @pixelcafe-network

[thesoftboiledegg]

I'm still mourning the loss of Rue 21. I thought it was just my area, but nope--the whole company is going out of business. They had the cutest Rick and Morty merchandise, especially around Christmas.

Charlotte Russe has similar apparel, but they don't carry as much as Rue 21 did. I did find this shirt a couple of weeks ago:

Looks like Morty's breaking in a new pair of shoes!

That same weekend, I found the usual Toxic Rick energy drink in Spencer's, but with an update: the label now reads "Cherry Wasteland Energy Drink."

Is the "cherry" part supposed to make it more appetizing? I guess energy drinks aren't known for their taste, but I wouldn't have chosen Toxic Rick as the mascot. He makes me imagine drinks made from toxic sludge.

A few days later, I visited one of the local head shops. It's not a real head shop until you're stocking pipes with that Rick and Morty/IT crossover on them!

How about some vibrantly patterned lighters?

The following weekend, I spotted a rack of Rick and Morty T-shirts in a thrift shop. They looked bland until you turned them around, revealing a family portrait!

Next, I went to Five Below. I wasn't having much luck until I spotted a lone Pickle Rick shirt grinning at me.

Five Below also had what the box described as "wild earbuds." Rick's smirk invites you to watch another "Rick in a suit and tie" video compilation.

The next day, I visited the bigger mall to find a new bootleg canvas:

Spencer's had a new pair of pajama pants. I love the color scheme. Unfortunately, I don't wear pajama pants because I have matching jammies sets like a dweeb.

Today, I visited a craft fair. I wasn't surprised to find the ubiquitous booth stocked with bootleg-art tumblers, but AI Rick and Morty art is an...unusual choice.

What about the rest of the tumblers with stolen art? This Lawyer Morty, who I found at the smaller mall yesterday, is on the case!

That same day, I went into Box Lunch because it's part of my routine. I didn't expect to find anything--I've only ever seen one Rick and Morty shirt, and they don't stock it anymore--but the snack/accessory counter surprised me with the funniest merchandise that I've seen in a while.

Pickle Rick as an actual pickle! How is this the first time that I'm seeing this?

AND I had gold nails to match. If you review the images in this post, you'll see the transition from plain to dark pink to glittery gold. ✨

Anyway, I usually think that edible merchandise is pointless because you eat it and toss the packaging, but Rick DID turn himself into a pickle. It's one of the series' most famous gags. Why not chow down on the world's most famous cucumber?

Keep him away from your pet rats, though. 🐀

[cowboyemeritus]

Get On Your Knees (And Start Praying)

A little Easter treat. (18+)

Read on A03

this is 95% a joke. i don't particularly want to fuck father defroque i promise.

Copia was right. This was a great idea.

You can’t tell if your head is spinning from the booze, the pills, or from the lack of oxygen. Either way, you’re feeling pleasantly out of your body as you bob up and down on his cock. The rough floor of the backseat, one of those stupid plastic mats, digs into your knees, but it hardly bothers you. Swallowing as much of him as you can, you give the other length in your hand a squeeze.

The priest, Father… Whatshisface, moans into Copia’s mouth. He had proved rather easy to seduce for a man of the cloth. That doesn’t surprise you, though; from previous experience, you know that vows of celibacy are frustratingly hard to keep. It’s almost like people are meant to have sex, you think, preening when Copia begins petting the top of your head.

“Lovely, isn’t she?” Copia asks. Your head is buried in his lap, but you had heard the wet pop! of the kiss breaking. The priest gasps, going taught as you swipe your thumb over his pretty pink head.

“Jesus Fucking Christ,” he whispers. That’s got to be the funniest thing you’ve ever heard. You have to pull off of Copia’s cock completely, laying your head on his thighs as you spasm with laughter. Barely coherent, you try to chastise him for taking his Lord’s name in vain. It comes out too garbled to be intelligible, however, and you can hear the Father mumble out in confusion. The bravado he’d shown earlier had faded the moment the three of you were alone, reducing him to a writhing, moaning mess.

“Dolce,” Copia says in a singsongy voice. It’s more of a warning; he’s clearly not happy about being left unattended. Feeling too much like jelly to sit back up, you instead start jerking him lazily with your other hand, trying to match the tempo you’re using on the priest. Copia sighs, and from your spot on his lap, you just barely catch him leaning forward to capture the other man’s mouth once again. He cups the clergyman’s face with a gloved hand, lightly scratching at his dark and every so slightly powder-covered beard. Feeling devious, you grip their shafts a little harder, picking up the pace as they both groan. Copia’s hand travels down the Father’s body, coming to rest on his pectoral. 

All it takes is a small tweak of his nipple through the material of his shirt and he’s spilling himself all over your fist. The priest comes down shaking and moaning, grabbing your wrist before overstimulation can set in. For a man with his particular… proclivities, his stamina is still no match for Copia’s.

“Shit,” he pants, leaning back against the seat. He came too early and all three of you know it. The question is: how will your Papa punish him? “I don��t usually-“

“Relax, caro.” Copia looks down at you lovingly. “She can be a bit much sometimes, but she has needs too, no?” You can’t help but giggle, feeling warmth bloom in your core. Hips shifting, you accidentally grind against the hard leather of Copia’s shoe and moan. Now it’s his turn to laugh. “Come sit in Papa’s lap, bellissima.”

It’s a struggle. A tingly sensation has permeated your entire body, and you have to fight to simply raise your head. You practically throw yourself onto Copia, pressing your mouth to his with a desperate mewl. Suddenly, you’re being moved, coming to sit with your back against his chest. The skimpy little dress, the one he had picked out for you personally, has ridden up so that your bare, dripping core is exposed for the disheveled priest. With little fanfare other than a low groan, Copia pulls you down and buries his cock inside you. The father swallows heavily, in time with your airy whine. He already looks like he wants more. Copia grabs your thighs, spreading you wide open. The two men lock eyes and you smile, knowing what’s coming next.

“Now, Pater,” Copia says. His voice cuts like a blade. “Get on your knees.”

[riddlerosehearts]

so i finished my lightning thief reread the other day but before i start sea of monsters i'm going to share some random things i love from this book and don't think i posted about:

ngl i think annabeth's crush on luke is funny. like. i can understand why they cut it out in the show, it allows them to put more focus on percabeth, shift the focus of luke and annabeth's relationship to a familial one which would be done better if they interacted for more than 5 seconds in the show but oh well, and hopefully it'll also lead to them changing up rick's gross fuckup during luke's death scene later. but genuinely i think her crush is funny and sweet in the book??

and also i think it's a nice reminder that yes, annabeth is incredibly wise and competent, but she's also an emotional 12 year old girl. so she's got a crush on an attractive older guy who protected her and cared for her when she was at her most vulnerable, sue her lmao.

i miss gladiola the pink poodle, why must he get cut from every adaptation 😔 at least the musical paid homage to him by having a similar scene with a squirrel.

RIP to the "we drowned in the bathtub" "all three of you?" scene also...

i'm sorry i don't mean for this to turn into another show critical post but aaaaa. the procrustes scene really isn't even that important and i understand why previous adaptations have cut it, but if the show was going to include it, why couldn't they keep percy being a manipulative little shit and getting crusty caught in his trap all on his own. sorry this is just so much better than having annabeth suddenly pop up using her invisibility hat.

speaking of percy being a manipulative little shit: i still think giving gabe's number out on national television and claiming that he'd be happy to give everyone in LA free appliances is one of the funniest and best things he's ever done.

"i become supreme lord of the bathroom" is probably my favorite chapter title in this book. so legendary.

annabeth bringing an architecture book on the quest, just to read when she got bored, and gushing over the gateway arch and how she dreams of building something like it. and then spontaneously deciding that she's going to ride to the top of the arch just because she feels like it, high stakes time-sensitive quest be damned, because she's a kid with ADHD and not a perfectly calculating and flawless genius.

luke is kind of an asshole even before the Big Reveal and i love it 😭 yesss luke you just keep on manipulating these 12 year olds!! make percy feel guilty for lying to you about the shoes!!

this. why did the show take this from us:

sally killing gabe herself and telling percy that poseidon wanted to build her an undersea palace and treat her like the queen she is but she said no because "if my life is going to mean anything, i have to live it myself". ugh i love you sally jackson.

i'm sorry. but luke was right for this at least a little:

like the line "their precious western civilization is a disease" just GOES SO HARD!!!

percy not being able to decide whether to stay at camp year-round or go home for the summer until the last minute, and ultimately making the decision to go home right after annabeth reveals that she's going home 🥺

[more-than-a-princess]

🐣What were you like as a kid? Allegedly? Has anything changed, and have people noticed?

In Depth and Personal Munday Meme - Accepting!

My favorite places as a child were quiet, full of books and/or dolls, and somewhere I could wear a pretty dress, eat sweets, and read to my dolls or stuffed animals. I'm an only child and have parents with busy careers, so I was left on my own (middle school and up) or with a sitter or nanny quite often. I had trouble making friends and relating to other kids as I was constantly surrounded by adults whom I could reason with: I'm pretty sure part of the reason why I was bullied so much was that I attempted to reason with other kids the way I did with adults (or tried to) and couldn't understand why they just teased me instead. I begged to be homeschooled but my parents said no and sent me to private school hell instead. I think the only time I really liked going to school for something more than my favorite classes was university.

That said, my favorite things in life were the bookstore and/or library, Scholastic Book Fair (I was that kid who ordered whatever I wanted off the book list and needed help carrying the bags to my parents' cars), the Disney Store (beeline for the stuffed animal tower and the TV playing film/song clips usually, if I wasn't distracted by dolls), and whenever I got new Barbies or American Girl dolls. I actually preferred AG more: the fact they came with books and girls from historical eras was the coolest thing to me! Those dolls and my cats at the time got to hear a lot of me trying to read aloud as much as I could.

I wasn't very athletic so sports teams were out of the question most of the time (I lifted weights instead starting in middle school in lieu of a school team due to how badly I was bullied. It just wasn't a great idea for my mental health to keep me around those kids longer than I needed to be), and I wasn't allowed video games until high school (right around when I'd sent my college applications) because my parents were convinced that if I played video games, I'd never get into a good university. This is a big reason why I never became much of a gamer! I didn't grow up with the hand-eye coordination practice with consoles and controllers many kids did. I also didn't get cable TV until the end of middle school: things like Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel were luxuries for me, ones I only got to indulge in at other family members' houses.

I think the funniest bit of it all is how I went from very much a dress-loving, pink-adorning, dress-wearing child to a teenager, constantly sullen, dressed in black/Hot Topic/early Torrid attire with the goth-iest high school senior photoshoot...and right back to a woman who adores dresses, classic colors, neutrals, and pastels, and just feels better about her day when pulling a dress and favorite pair of shoes/bag out of her closet, just to go to a cafe and shopping/a bookstore. My parents have definitely noticed this and are having the last laugh at middle/high school-era Rae, who would only wear wide leg JNCO style trousers with so many ripped holes at the bottom, bondage pants/skirts, anime/geek t-shirts, fancy dresses from The Pyramid Collection (I had a wicca phase) and the darkest red lipstick that wasn't black but still broke the school dress code so the administration made me wash it off each morning (despite me swatching it on my hand and showing them no, it wasn't black: black lipstick was banned, like jeans, miniskirts, tanktops, and anything featuring 'gang' logos or relating to Eminem or Nelly. Honestly, besides the jeans, good move school!)...is now a far more cheerful and content person, who has embraced color, dresses, bows, etc. once again.

tl;dr - my teenage years were awful, do not want to revisit no matter how much my high school keeps insisting I should show up for my 20-year reunion.

In a more nerdy sense, I'm realizing that in my late thirties with more disposable income, I can finally wear all the costumes I wanted to do as a teenage cosplayer but didn't have the funds to do so. I am doing or rewearing so many old school costumes in 2024, and upgrading some outfits I already love with higher-quality pieces.

[brooklynislandgirl]

10. What kind of things are they into?

Some Like It...Mild || Accepting

"Hangin' 'round downtown by m'self--An' I've had too much caffeine, an' I was t'inkin' bout myself, an' dere she was in platform double suede--yeah dere she was, like disco lemonade..."

For most of the monthly deep clean of the Trader, Beth has been bouncing about pubs confines, air-pods deep in her ears, tackling all the chores within her arm-span. Maybe the funniest part of it was that whenever Ron paused to watch, she'd be dancing to herself, or singing not quite softly, not quite on key to herself. Her resemblance to her beloved menehune was made with each gesture, each note. And she seemed oblivious that he might stop and watch her for a moment or two. "I smell sex an' candy dere, mmm. Who is dat loungin' in my chair? Mmm. Who is dat castin' Beefeater stare in my direction? Mana is surely a dream, yeah." Some of the words to the song have clearly been mistaken, but maybe she's trying to be cute, dusting the gin bottles. When she does note him standing at the end of the bar in his undershirt, hair a little mussed and damp from sweat ~all that heavy lifting and ink on full display~, his own towel in his bear paws, she pinks through her cheeks and offers him the widest and brightest of her smiles. "Hi."

He coaxes her as he does to come and have a bite with him and they ensconce themselves in what was quickly dubbed Their booth. On opposite sides, she pins his hips in with a little foot on either side. Socks ~the ankle kind~ out of respect, she wouldn't be barefoot but she also doesn't want to be confined by shoes. His fingers trail along the calf of the leg she allows such liberties with. When he half purrs, half rumbles that question though. A momentary blink that doesn't full close her eyes and a similar smile blooms, slower though, less flashy but twice as seductive.

"Like when ya stan' dere, watchin' me. Strip down t' ya vest, yeah? Shoulders roll forward, hands hooked into ya...we'll say belt, night an' mystery in ya eyes. Make my knees melt and uh." She giggles and glances away. She's not the kind to speak so bluntly about thinks and raises her hands to half cover her mouth. Then, still there, her fingertips wave downward of herself. "Make me full Kilauea. Take dat howevah ja'like, but will say, always puts me in mind of swimmin' down ya whole way and kissin' you like...like you know. Way you do f' me." The air in the Trader is suddenly a few degrees warmer than before. "Like dancin' wi' ya, for real dance...not a eupha...euphe...not playin' on words. Like da way ya hold me, ya sway. Like when ya hand is 'round my t'roat, not squeezin' but not...not ghostly. Solid." She nods more for herself than for confirmation. "Long, slow kisses but also little short bitey ones."

One set of her toes migrate toward the inside of his thigh and stop midway up from his knee. Her face freezes before her eyes widen and her head tilts, mouth agape. "Oh...oh you meant....oh, uh. Yeah. Uhm. Well because of Andy, I really like any kine from like sixties an' seventies to now, an' classical too...but I guess you could say my favourite was whole grunge movement, like Nirvana an' Maddah Love Bone, an' of course my favourite, Pearl Jam. Second favourite I would say...Red Hot Chili Peppah."

Sheepish, his girl, and another giggle, this one airy and apologetic. "I dunno why I say all dat...mebbe...start ovah?"

[chipcheesesandwich]

I still think this is one of the funniest moments of Stede.

Like, how the fuck did he think he can move his ship??? A SHIP, with a WHOLE LIBRARY and FIREPLACE, on WET SAND and WATER. And in his pink vest and purple pants and his no-grip shoes.

Love him, but really???

[turtlemagnum]

i seem to have misremembered both that hoax and this reddit post of his as confirmation of that hoax. good to know i've been wrong! sorry to have spread misinformation!

what the text says for screenreader people because there's not enough room in the alt text:

To reply to a deleted comment: I’m not hiding, this has just taken some time to write.

I took down that tumblr post because I honestly don’t remember it (I’ll get to my mental problems of late 13 to early 15) and it’s ugly enough to be misconstrued and even if it could be construed there’s little positive value in it. What it looks like I’m trying to say is, “There’s a whole lotta weird dick admiration for this heinous shit but where’s all the love for the heinous shit Vivec did with their other bits?”

That’s my read of it, anyway. But you want a bigger explanation, though, some kind of wide and comprehensive one. I mean that’s the point of this whole thing, so sure, let’s talk. This is going to be long.

For over ten years, I abused liquor and benzos, a combination that tends to kill you. It started as a way to deal with anxiety and depression until it just became my life. I finally got to the rock bottom point where I didn’t want to die, so I went into detox (very soon I’ll hit my seventh year sober, but that’s not really part of this). What happened after detox was a shitload of terrifying stuff that no one told me about that happens early on (or maybe just happened to me) that I'm only just now getting my head around. This is where the nightmare starts.

It was terrifying stuff like getting out of detox and not quite being... well, it’s a lot like having missing time but that isn't the right term... getting out of detox and not being fully present in my own skin for a whole year and some change. I'm not talking about the pink cloud or readjusting to a life without drinking and drugs (all of which one can read about and find comfort in), but stuff like…

Thinking I was dead and a ghost, like for real-real thinking I was dead and in hell and still communicating with my wife. As in, only she could see me but only through some kind of magic glass. At one point, I thought I had to stand in the shower and talk through the glass door so she could hear me properly.

Being convinced that people were out to get me, sometimes a weird shadow consortium of psychiatrists and law enforcement, other times the friends I was having lunch with, or online circles of people that I “knew” were laughing at my confusions, and sometimes it was simply supernatural entities like demons, magicians, or, yes, ghosts.

Having a looping always-happening sense of deja vu, where I was stuck in a state of I was just there doing these things just then, a Groundhog Day but in seconds. It turned out to be my brain rewriting itself while finding a new medication cocktail with my doctor. And finding that was hard because I was convinced we had already done it six seconds ago and why was this doctor trying to trick me? Again? Everyone, including myself, felt like it was tricking me into thinking— into believing— that what I was doing just now was something I did just a moment before.

Putting myself in strange situations because I thought after detox I was invincible, or the funniest person alive, or a fashion statement from the future, or a secret lockpick to the underground (whatever that meant but it definitely meant something enough for me to keep talking about it for awhile) or a cruel demigod who could say anything to anyone without guilt or admonishment. In this stage of thrilling horribleness, I said awful things while kicking shoes off and jumping on tables that I believed would spiral up like Enochian discs up through the air to golden thrones.

Practicing automatic writing, asking people for music soundtracks for capital-I important projects I was doing, and honest to God trying to make clocks tick backwards with my mind.

Trembling, rambling, full on panicking that I had been replaced by someone else and yet still stuck inside them. Constant passenger, my wife unable to know it, her being tricked instead by my epidermal doppelgänger.

“Reliving" portions of my childhood where I discovered horrible secrets about my father and my babysitters and by discovered I really mean making shit up to explain what was happening to me in this haze of being sober and in a batshit crazy living nightmare because I got sober.

This is the stuff that they don’t tell you. Or at least didn’t tell me. I went into a facility to get better, to conquer insobriety, and when my insurance ran out, they said I was good to go. That’s another thing that they don’t tell you: your journey to healing is only on their premises for as long as your deductible allows. Maybe they do tell you and I didn’t listen because the reason I got into detox was I was simply going to die if I didn’t. My drinking had become so bad that blacking out was more the norm than just being awake. Either way, my post-detox was a nightmare because— in the well-deal-with-it state— you are in no way ready to be outside, unsupervised, your brain and body unable to deal with an unregulated withdrawal that turns you into a goddamn alien. And it lasts for what seems like forever (especially the phase of infinite deja vu).

What I did have is my wife, who patiently carried my post-detox psychoses with me, helping me to ride it out. Ride it out for a year to eighteen months, no matter how scary it must have gotten for her, what with my brain transforming its interactions with reality, each variation of that unannounced, each variation bringing new ways to make me feel unable to be really ever human again. And when you feel like that, you often get angry at everything (becoming sober was supposed to heal you not twist you up and dump you on an unrecognizable earth), or you get elated because you are a pillar of newfound power, messianic and reborn, without need for conscience or restraint (“I say what I want!”), or you get frightened because you’re now a shower ghost with no way back to someone you love so much.

My wife brought me back. She found me doctors that could help. Cleaned up after me. Put up with my mean-spirited tirades and unearthly new manias. Reminded me our dog always knew who I was because he could smell through all my unwanted disguises.

I hurt a lot of friendships, a lot of people I didn’t know, and a lot of co-workers during this time. I wrote things I don’t understand, don’t condone, and half the time don’t remember. I was awful when I was supposed the be getting better. If you got to know me from anywhere between 2013-2015, I’m really sorry, I thought I had no way back to sanity. And in the ten years before, I wasn’t much better.

-MK

*I meant to post some of this during National Recovery Month but you wanted some kind of answer.

just described a bit of khajiit lore to my grandma and she said facetiously, "and how many drugs were we on writing this?", not knowing a damn thing about michael kirkbride. i hear he's gotten clean in more recent years and is self reportedly far better off for it, but you've gotta admit that from the standpoint of the writing itself there's something to be said about the combination of unsustainable quantities of acid and a theology degree to creating a very distinct identity and feel

[descendant-of-truth]

A small, pointless Sans theory:

Have you ever noticed how we can't actually see his slippers in his overworld sprite?

We know from official art and merchandise (and Smash Bros) that they're pink, so why is there no pink on his actual sprite? In all likelihood it's a simple oversight, or they only decided they would be pink after the game's release (like Kirby!) but we can go deeper.

Take a moment to think about when we get to see that he's even wearing slippers: his boss fight. A fight that takes place at arguably his lowest point; not a single person you've encountered has been spared, and he seems aware of the possibility of the world itself ending if you get past him.

And where exactly has he been the whole run? He might be following you around more stealthily than usual, but in this scenario it's not hard to imagine that he'd spend a lot of time in his room.

His house.

Where you would expect someone to be wearing slippers.

I find it completely believable that he would teleport straight from his house to the final corridor without bothering to switch shoes first - this is Sans we're talking about, after all. But that still leaves the question: what's he wearing in his overworld sprite, then?

The funniest option is that he's not wearing any shoes. Just walks around in the snow barefoot all day like a champ

But as far as actual alternatives, there are exactly two instances I could find of Official Sans Material in which he wears sneakers instead:

Granted, these shoes aren't completely white like his overworld sprite, but they do have white tips, and I think including a dark color (like the one on the plush) on his sprite would confuse where his pants end and shoes begin.

And here's the real kicker: the plush is actually smaller than the version that wears slippers. Just like how his in-game sprite without the slippers is smaller than the one with them. Coincidence?? Quite possibly, but it's fun to think about.

[basiccortez]

Fall- S.F.K

Note: the video of Sam busting his ass plays in my mind on repeat at least every day. 

REQUESTS ARE OPEN 

warnings: cursing, Sam falling, Sam wearing shoes

Sam blamed you. You just had to guilt him into wearing the new boots you had bought him. The brown Chelsea boots were similar to his brother’s, a pointed toe and minisucle heel, something you thought Sam could handle, but clearly you were wrong. 

The boys were playing a smaller venue for the night. You loved the smaller venues as much as you loved watching them with a full stadium. You had made your first comment about the stage being slick when you were helping Sam set up his amps during pre show. Josh had agreed with you, running his foot over the surface a couple times to get the feel for it. Sam just laughed it off, and you simply warned him: “if you fall on your ass, I’m gonna die of laughter,” 

And that’s exactly what happened. 

You and Mackenzi stood on the side of the stage singing along and dancing around as the boys played through their set. Her eyes were clearly glued on the quiet drummer and yours were glued on the bass player. Sam was beautiful when he played, letting his full body be taken over my the music and pleasure that ran through him. You had made the comment once that his bass face and orgasm face were basically identical. Josh, of course being the stage man he is, was soaking up all the attention and screams from the fans. 

It happened quickly, and you really don’t even know what Sam was doing .03 seconds before, but he was up, and then he was not. The moment his foot slipped out from under him, you let out and audible gasp as he picked up his bass enough so it wouldn’t smack on the floor. He landed with a thud, kicking some receiver off the stage. You could see the “ow!” that left his lips as he massaged his tailbone slight. 

Josh tried to contain his laughter, opting to continue on with his song, and leaving his baby brother on the floor. Jake hadn’t even realized what had happened, opening his eyes to find his brother on the floor, a pained expression on his face. Sam just nodded and gave you a tight lipped smile as you were basically dying and Mackenzi was holding you up. He rolled his eyes as you were gasping in between laughs, still can’t believe what just happened. He grabbed his bass and started playing where he had left off, and eventually pushed himself off the ground and walked back, slowly, to his spot by the amps. 

The boys took their final bows and walked back stage. Sam handed off his bass and then walked over to you. You cooed at him, sticking your lip out trying to hide your smirk. He rolled his eyes and wrapped you in a sweaty hug and kissed the top of your head. You were bitting back the inevitable ‘I told you so’. 

“I think I broke my ass,” He said. 

“What the hell even happened?” Josh said, laughing. 

“Yeah Sam, one minute you’re up and next minute you’re on your ass,” Jake said. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t even notice,” Danny said, his arm wrapped around Mackenzi. 

“It literally was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” You said laughing again and Mackenzi joining in. You two messing around and joking recreating and acting out Sam’s fall as you guys walked back to the green room. Sam was trying his hardest not to smile at the sweet sound of laughter leaving your pink lips. Sam sat down slowly on the couch, getting to rest his probably bruised tailbone.

 “Oh my god, there’s a video!” You cried watching the video that a fan had posted online. You should it to the boys and they bursted out with laughter, well except Sam, who hid his face in your hair. 

Hours and many drinks later, you and Sam were back in your hotel room. Sam ground, flopping down on his stomach and laying his head on the white pillows. You giggled, taking off your coat and taking off your boots. 

“Baby?” Sam asked, and you acknowledged him with a hum, taking off the rest of clothes, and putting on one of his t-shirts, “Can you massage my butt?” He asked so softly, you barely heard him. 

You smiled at him and nodded. He stood up and shucked off his jeans and then laid back down on his stomach. You climbed on his thighs and sat below his butt. He hissed in pain as you touched his lower back, and then relaxed as you softly kneaded the soft tissue. You bit back your smirk as you poked him in-between his cheeks. He sucked in a breath and grabbed your hand stopping you. 

“You’re done,” 

[gaybarbiegirl]

My Top 5 Gay Barbie ships

As an avid Barbie fan and a lesbian, I feel like it was only a matter of time until I made this. I think we can all agree that the Barbie movies blessed us with some of the best lesbian relationships gal pals of our childhoods, and I guess this is just my way of paying homage to my favorites. A little disclaimer, this is all just my opinion, so I'm sorry if your favorite ship isn't here.

5. Kristyn and Hailey - Barbie and the Pink Shoes

Starting out with a painfully underrated ship from a painfully underrated movie, we've got Kristyn and Hailey. In my opinion, Barbie and the Pink Shoes is the funniest Barbie movie, and these two are a big part of the reason why. They bounce off of each other really well, they have a great and believable daydreamer/down to earth dynamic, and their relationship is really sweet. I mean, it's hard to watch two people navigating an unknwon world together with no one to count on but each other and not end up shipping them. Plus, the scene where Hailey gets captured by the snow queen and Kristyn runs crying through the frozen road always breaks my heart.

4. Mariposa and Catania - Barbie Mariposa and the fairy princess

I'm gonna be honest, the way the pairings went in the Mariposa franchise actually makes me kinda bitter. And that's because they had these two characters who I think are perfect for each other, but they totally disregard their relationship for the sake of pairing Mariposa with Prince Carlos (who is honestly just a male version of her).

I mean, seriously - Mariposa and Catania have this Romeo and Juliet type of story, being from rival fairy kingdoms and all, and it would definetely have ended in romance if this was a het ship. Catania is the only one who's kind to Mariposa from the start, she bothers to learn about her culture and to make her feel welcome in her kingdom, and she trusts her blindly even when everyone around her tells her she shouldn't. In return, Mariposa listens to Catania about her struggles, and does everything in her power to help her overcome them. They have a lot in common and a lot to teach each other, their relationship development feels very natural, and their bond is what saves the day in the end. But nooo, Barbie has to end up with the prince. Smh.

3. Barbie and Sal-Lee - Barbie Starlight Adventure

These two probably have the most down to earth relationship in this list, ironically. They have no big dramatic bonding moment, no speech about believing in each other, and their love isn't what saves the universe. It's all very simple and low key, and that's kind of what I like about it.

I love how nervous Barbie is to meet Sal-Lee in the beggining, how it takes a little while for them to get used to each other, and how even in the end there's still a bit of healthy competition between them. You can tell both of them weren't what the other one was expecting, but once they get to know each other, they realize they're something even better, and I think that's really great. I also love how Sal-Lee gets all protective of Barbie, always looking out for her in the end. Overall, their relationship is just very wholesome and comforting. 10/10.

2. Merliah and Kylie - Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2

Rivals to lovers, anyone? Truly one of the best relationship tropes out there, and it was executed beautifully in this movie.

Merliah's and Kylie's flirty rivalry in the beggining is everything, and I like how it's not one sided. Like, Merliah isn't the nice "let's all be friends" girl who's being cornered by mean girl Kylie, they're both mutually competitive, which is pretty unique for a Barbie movie. And, of course, as their relationship develops, all of their scenes are just the cutest and the gayest.

Kylie saying "since when does the queen of the waves give up?" when she's pulling Merliah out of that whirpool? Amazing.

The two of them holding hands while swimming together? Beautiful.

Merliah swooning over everything Kylie says, from her plans to her bad jokes? Lovely.

And the whole ending sequence to that movie lives in my head rent free. Merliah is all upset over being a mermaid forever because, in her own words, this means she can't surf with Kylie anymore. Then she turns human again and gets to compete with her one more time, but with love instead of animosity. And finally, the two of them thank each other for everything they got to learn together and agree to share the 1st place trophy. Incredible. Lesbian excellency. Love it with my whole heart.

1. Liana and Alexa - Barbie and the Diamond Castle

Surprising no one, Alexa and Liana get the 1st place, and for a good reason. To this day, they're the biggest wlw icons from any Barbie movie ever. Everyone has seen the posts talking about how the colours of their dresses are the colours of the lesbian flag and the bi flag, or about how they're the og cottagecore lesbians, or about how there's a scene in the movie where the two of them literally float away from their "love interests" on a rainbow, and they're all 100% right.

But while the sheer amount of gayness these two have is great, I still think this isn't the best part of their relationship. The best part, I think, is just how devoted they are to each other.

Like, we know they regularly write songs about how happy they are together, and both of them consider their relationship to be the best part of their lives. They take care of each other in a way that is so casual but still so meaningful, and you can tell it comes from a place of real love. When they get the chance to make a wish, they don't even have to think before wishing to be together forever. And throughout the movie, we see them risk their lives and rethink their values for the sake of keeping the other one happy and safe.

They're not just my favorite barbie ship, they're one of my favorite ships of all time, and they totally deserve all of the praise they get.

[illicitlimerence-writes]

boys have cooties │ t. holland

pairing: middle school teacher!tom holland x middle school teacher!fem!reader warnings: like two or three curse words, kids, overall it's pretty much fluff. maybe some spelling mistakes. word count: 2k a/n: hi, hello. english isn't my first language, so please be kind. this is the first thing i've written in so long so i'm sorry if this sucks. gif ain't mine, creds to the owner!

"mr holland?" "yes, my friend?" he said, crouching so he could be eye level with little natalie. "do you have a girlfriend?" she asked, her pretty green eyes shining brightly. his mind immediately went to the gorgeous (y/e/c)-eyed girl who owned his heart.

"why do you ask that, friend?" he pulled a chair from the table next to him and sat in front of her. he watched as an adorable frown set on her face, cheeks flushing.

"yesterday i was playing in my room and my sissy was watching a movie with a boy. i wanted to watch tangled so i went to the living room and she was kissing him!" she said, banging her hands on the table as if it was the most scandalous thing she'd ever seen.

"really? and what did you do?" he asked, biting his lips and trying his hardest not to grin at the wholesomeness of it all.

"i screamed, and she was really mean, she told me to go to my room and leave her and her boyfriend alone. do boyfriends and girlfriends make you mean?"

"well, no. a boyfriend or girlfriend is supposed to bring out the best of you. i believe what happened was that maybe she was maybe a bit embarrassed about you seeing them together," he explained as carefully as he could to the six-year-old. he loved teaching little kids, but there were times like this when he had to try to put into simple words something as abstract as the concept of love and relationships. he wouldn't change it for the world, though. there was nothing like seeing the mesmerized expressions on each of their faces when they discovered something new together.

"okay. but i don't think i will ever have a boyfriend. because boys have cooties and germs." she said confidently. he couldn't help the chuckle that escaped from his lips. little natalie pressed her hand against her mouth, giggling as if she'd just said the funniest thing in the world.

"natalie! boys don't have cooties." he tried to stop her from laughing, but her giggles only got louder.

"yes they do!" she continued laughing, only stopped when they heard a knock on the door. you walked in, in all your beautiful glory.

"hey ba-buuuddy," you played it cool when you noticed the small child sitting in front of Tom.

"hi, miss y/l/n!" natalie greeted you cheerfully. you gave them both a bright smile, "can you tell mr. holland that i'm right?"

"she's right," you said immediately, winking at her.

"so you agree that boys have cooties?" tom asked, lifting his eyebrows. you grabbed a chair and sat next to him, and grabbed his hand under the table. he interlocked his fingers with yours, squeezing them.

"duh! obviously!" you nodded, which only made the six-year-old to laugh even louder.

"i told you!" she said, pointing a finger at tom. you looked at him, scrunching your nose as you smiled.

"so does that mean i have cooties?" tom asked, his eyes darting between his young student and you.

"no!"

"yes!" you and natalie said at the same time. while the young girl denied it, you played along and accused your perfect boyfriend of having the childish disease.

tom stared at you with his mouth in a perfect o. the six-year-old's laugh could now be heard from outside of the room.

"i'm offended," tom said as he placed a hand on his chest, you chuckled and winked at him.

you were about to make another snarky comment when the loud bell rang, signaling the end of recess.

"saved by the bell," you said dropping his hand and standing up. tom's students began rushing into the room, surprised to see you there.

"miss y/l/n!" the kids cheered.

while tom preferred the joy of teaching new things to the littlest, you enjoyed the challenge of the eldest. your young age was definitely an advantage you had when it came to teaching. you knew the stress and anxiety that school could cause some of the kids and were always flexible with your assignments and your way of teaching. now on your third year as a teacher, you'd heard kids saying they could not wait until they reached fifth grade so they could have you as their teacher. it was safe to say everyone at school loved you. always kind, always giving the best advice, always having the best snacks.

"oh, my goodness! i am never leaving this classroom, you are the cutest little things in the entire world!" you said as they ran to you and hugged your legs.

"go away y/n, they're my kids," tom said faking hurt when he saw the lovestruck expression on the little ones' faces, but his heart fluttered when he saw how they loved you as much as he did.

"i think they love me more than they love you, tommy-boy," you said, a cheeky grin on your lips. he wanted nothing more than to kiss you senseless. but instead, he gasped, eyes widening as he looked around at the kids, some laughing, some ran to tom and hugged his legs as well, meanwhile the others stayed by your side and held you tighter.

"i've been betrayed, and by my own younglings." he dramatically fell to his knees and all the kids rushed to his side, saying how they loved him as much as they loved you.

"no!"

"we love you too, mr. holland!"

"i like miss y/n better."

"you two are my favorite teachers!" loud screeching filled the room, making you laugh.

"okay, kids. go show mr. holland your love, i've gotta go deal with my own munchkins. it was lovely to see you today, remember to drink water, make good choices and listen to tommy-boy here," you ruffled some heads and high-fived hands as you walked backward toward the door.

"alright everybody, let's thank miss y/l/n for stopping by. say goodbye and settle down," tom switched into teacher mode, and you felt the familiar butterflies fluttering in your stomach when you saw him rolling the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows. biting your lip, you sent him a small wink as a new wave of voices filled the room.

"bye, miss y/l/n!"

"i love you!"

"come back soon!"

"can i go with you?"

"have a nice day!" you smiled and waved at them. giving tom a small nod and a knowing look, you rushed to your classroom at the end of the hall.

you loved your kids, messy and loud and moody.

when you walked into your room you saw most of them sitting and chatting with their own small cliques, but when they heard the sound of your shoes approaching some of them turned their heads to see you.

immediately, the loud voices filled the room.

"where were you?"

"can we watch a movie?"

"i need to use the restroom!"

"you're late!"

"yes, you can go to the restroom. no, we're not waching a movie today. yes, i know i'm late. i was in mr. holland's classroom visiting my favorite kids in the entire school" you answered, lifting an eyebrow and laughing when you saw their reactions.

"hey!"

"not cool!"

"i like him better anyways"

you continued to laugh as you moved your hands, finally getting them to quiet down.

"that, ladies and gents, was a joke. i was kidding. i wouldn't trade my babies for anything in the world" you said as you sat on your desk, folding your legs underneath you.

"miss y/l/n?" a girl raised her arm, you looked up

"yes, alice?"

"i saw you and mr. holland in the morning, you were holding hands." she said, cheeky grin on her face.

"oooooohhhh, miss y/l/n has a boyfriend!" shouting began again. you tried your hardest to suppress the smile that was threatening to settle on your face. instead you bit your lip hard.

"you woke up and chose violence today, alice," you admitted, making them all laugh. "mr. holland and i are just friends, my babies." you said, knowing how they hated when you called them that. "now, we've already lost too much time, let's get to work. everybody take out your books and-"

-------

at the end of the school day, you stayed behind sorting through papers and planning your classes for next week. when you finished, you put your things away, grabbing some papers you needed to grade and putting them in your bag. a knock on the door grabbed your attention.

"hey, baby," you greeted tom. he walked to you, threw his arm around your neck and pressed a kiss on the side of your temple.

"you ready, darling?" he asked, taking your bag from you with his right hand and grabbing your own with his left one. you nodded, lifting your joined hands and kissing his knuckles. you noticed the way his cheeks flushed pink. and it warmed your heart knowing even the simple gestures still made sparks fly between you two after years of being together.

"yes, mr. holland," you teased, locking the door behind you, interlocking your fingers with his again.

"took me a while to quiet them down after your visit, wouldn't stop talking about you," he squeezed your hand, making you grin.

"oh, you should've heard my kids. alice saw us holding hands in the morning. they think you're my boyfriend." you lifted an eyebrow. letting go of his hand when you reached his range rover. the parking lot was now empty. he opened the door for you, you climbed in the passenger seat as he put your handbag and his own backpack in the backseat.

"really?" he asked, you hummed in response. you moved so you were facing him standing outside. he placed his hands on your thighs, your hands immediately finding his. "if they only knew..." he said, letting go of one of your hands, his fingers traveled to your neck, under the collar of your shirt, and toyed with the delicate gold chain around your skin. he lifted the chain, a sparkly diamond ring sitting there like a charm.

"if they only knew..." you repeated his words, hands traveling to his face, cupping his cheeks. your thumb played with lips and he moved his head to kiss it.

"when do you think we should tell them?" he asked, leaning down, resting his forehead against yours, noses brushing together.

"i don't know. they're gonna lose their shit when they find out," you chuckled, earning one from him as well. "we'll have to tell them before the wedding, though. otherwise, my kids will feel betrayed. they're already mad because i told them i'll be gone for a month."

"but it'll be during the summer holidays," he frowned, a beautiful smile forming on his lips.

"i know, that's what i said. apparently, they still think i live in the school." you shook your head, laughing.

"i can't wait until we have our own little ones," he admitted, hiding his face on your neck, fingers still playing with the ring that he gave you almost a year ago on your two-year anniversary. you smiled, your arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

"me neither, then they'll really lose their shit. can you imagine?" you giggled as you felt his warm breath hit your sensitive skin behind your ear.

"i love you so much." he said, pressing small kisses on your neck, traveling up to your jaw, your cheek, and finally your lips. your thumbs tracing invisible circles on his cheek as his lips met yours.

"i love you, too. so, so much." your hands moved to his hair, fingers running through soft curls. "now, take me home, mr. holland. your fiance is getting hungry." you both chuckled, hands finally letting of eachother, you settled in your seat as he gave your lips a small peck before closing your door.

"how's mcdonald's sound?" he asked when he climbed in the driver's seat, starting the car. like magnets, your hands met halfway and you rested your arms on the console between you two.

"with you, everything sounds perfect." you admitted, meeting his bright brown eyes that seemed to sparkle when he heard the words you spoke. he lifted your joined hands and kissed your knuckles, once, twice. all the way until forever.

[holykillercake]

Emergency Light

ᴋᴏʙʏ x ᴍᴀʀɪɴᴇ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

word count: 2.6k

summary: 

Female reader developed a crush on Koby since he stood up against Akainu in Marineford. Someday at a party at the marine´s, you get drunk, too drunk. Koby takes you to your room before a disaster happens. You two get stuck in the elevator while everyone is busy partying.

highlight:  You wondered if they were training kamikaze marines now.

warning: 1. ¨Do not press random buttons.¨ - LAW, Trafalgar; 2. Trafalgar Law is not part of this story, but his wise words are worth of quotation. 

notes: *knock knock* Hi, guys! After a terrible writing block, I finally finished @pure-kirarin​´s lovely lovely request, which I used as summary since it was really good! I really hope you like it! <3 A little disclaimer! At some point, the ¨too drunk¨ part vanished from my brain, so our reader is just... drunk, hahaha. 

𝕃𝕖𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤, 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖!

¨Y/N-san!¨ 

You were wiping a sweat drop from your forehead when the pink-haired boy appeared beside you, offering an isotonic drink and a warm smile. 

You did your best to hide the tiny heart attack you had.

¨Koby-san!¨ you shouted, smiling awkwardly. ¨Oh... is it for me?¨

¨Of course! You have been working really hard these days.¨

¨Thanks.¨ you took the drink from his hands. The heat and condensation caused a layer of cold sweat to wrap the bottle. ¨I just don´t know why they are making us help prepare this party. They have a team for this, Koby-san! Besides, we´re Captains now.¨ you pouted the last bit. 

¨Yeah...¨ he scratched the back of his neck. ¨well, at least we get to spend some time together!¨

¨I know, I just-¨ you stopped talking as his words processed in your brain. 

You felt your blood vessels dilating on your cheeks, leaving a hot sensation on your face. 

Perhaps he was just being polite, or maybe you were making a big deal out of this, but you couldn´t help. You have been fond of him for a while now, and you couldn't stop that involuntary reaction of your body when he said such lovely things. 

Koby realized the words that came out of his mouth, and the scene that followed made even your spirit giggle. His eyes opened wide, and you could almost feel his throat running dry with all his stuttering.

 If that was a blushing competition, you would be down to the second place. 

¨W-We´ve been on separate missions for ten months, right? I m-mean... and it´s not dangerous or anything, and-¨ 

¨Yeah, you´re right, Koby-san.¨ a smitten smile blossomed on your lips, and you tried to hide it by sipping the refreshing drink. 

As stated by the boy, you had spent almost a year in different locations of the Grand Line, leading missions of your own. That was the kind of thing you had to do as promoted Captains.

You had no idea where Koby ended up going. These subjects could not be discussed over snail transponders, just for precaution. In fact, you barely spoke to him during this time. There were only a few nights when you would exchange coded messages. 

Since you became Captains, your tasks have kept you apart for much longer than before. You couldn't help but miss him and wonder how he must be doing during those times. 

You have already met thousands of Marines. Some even stronger and more agile than him, but no one had his willpower. You would put your hands on the fire for that. 

Whenever you felt unmotivated or helpless, the memory of the boy standing up against Sakazuki, putting his life on the line to honor his fallen comrades made your blood burn hotter. 

He did what no one else had the guts to do. 

Too blinded by the bloodshed, in the end, the number of casualties made it clear that accomplishing the task was no reason to celebrate.

When the sole of your shoes stained with blood and the blade of your sword sliced through anyone who didn´t wear the justice symbol on their back, you questioned if the Marines had finally lost their purpose. 

You should be civilized and do justice, but not at the expense of soldiers who had families to return to. If the target had already been eliminated, why were you still fighting? 

A chill ran down your spine when, for the first time, you looked up and faced the massacre. It was as if before, you could look at everything and, at the same time, see nothing. 

If Koby hadn´t stood up at that moment, you wouldn´t be here today. Maybe for leaving, maybe for dying. But his act of braveness and courage returned a bit of your hope. 

You wanted to see how far he could go, and hopefully, you would be by his side. 

Before, you used to watch him, along with his colleague Helmeppo, getting beat up and beat up by Garp and always put himself back on his feet. 

You wondered if they were training kamikaze marines now. 

From your room, you had a perfect view of the training circuit, so you could see the cycle repeating itself over and over again. Boys, seduced by the idea of absolute justice, strength, and power to fight bad guys, came to Marineford willing to prove their worth. They would fall a few times before the sparkle in their eyes started to fade. 

Eventually, they would fade too. 

Those boys, however, fell and fell, being punched to a pulp, then patched back together only to suffer on Garp´s hands again. Watching them became your late-night entertainment, and seeing their improvements and growth turned out to warm your heart. 

At some point, you were assigned to be their opponent, and from that moment on, your days became brighter. They would share the craziest stories and tell the funniest jokes. Or not so much tell jokes. They were naturally clumsy and fun. 

Although, if you could choose, you would prefer to spend more time with Koby. Nothing against Helmeppo, he was just too much sometimes. But apparently, they came in a two-for-one pack. 

                                                             ***

It has been only a few hours since the party started and you reached the jackpot. You had taken all your frustrations on alcohol and rice cakes, and it showed. 

Every ten seconds, the memory of what you wanted to do disappeared, and that was somehow hilarious, making you explode in laughter and cause commotions. So for every ten seconds during the first hours, one of the last remaining sober in the enclosure had tiny cardiac arrests. 

Everyone was drunk enough to have a good time without causing any trouble. But the detail worth mentioning was that your party had started a little earlier, under the statement that you needed a little incentive to help you through the night. 

It meant that your energetically loud phase was close to reaching its end, giving place for your sleepy and distracted persona. Your eyes felt heavier by the second, light dizziness fogging your brain, but it felt relaxing. 

¨You know Koby is a type of meat?¨ you said, resting your chin on the table and giggling to yourself.

¨Y/N-san, I-I don´t think that´s the name of it.¨ his face turned red as he shifted on the cushion, adjusting his posture. 

¨Ugh, you´re so nervous Koby, you should relax.¨ you sang the last syllable. ¨Look at Meppo, he´s relaxing.¨

Your lips bent in a goofy smile as you watched your comrades building an okaki tower on Helmeppo´s head. The blonde had passed out on the table a few minutes earlier, too exhausted and drunk. He looked so peaceful in his sleep that a yawn escaped your mouth, catching Koby´s attention. 

¨Y/N-san, you should go to bed already. Y-You look tired.¨ his voice trembled when he took sight of your sparkling but sleepy eyes, rosy face, and messy hair. 

¨Hmm, no... I´m still good.¨

Another yawn. 

¨Come, I can walk you to your room before you relax like Helmeppo.¨ 

Your brain was working in slow motion, so by the time you thought of answering him, your grip was already tight in his. A little tighter than necessary, but you were afraid your wobbly legs would cease, and honestly, he didn't object at all.

The air outside the salon made your nostrils hurt within every breath, not because it was freezing cold but because the alcohol made your body run hotter than usual. Your ears felt like they were clogged, but that was merely the tingling silence on the empty hall. 

When he guided you inside of the elevator and pressed the corresponding button to your floor, your gasp, which echoed through the narrow walls, made Koby jump back, scanning for any sign of danger. 

¨Oh my God, look at this, Koby!¨ 

He watched you walk closer to the panel, completely mesmerized. ¨Uh... what, Y/N-san?¨ 

¨Wow! They never did this before!¨ you shouted, falling on your knees and leaning in like a child on an ice cream shop showcase. 

The boy kept staring at you, who pressed the buttons in a row with shimmering eyes. What was in that saké?

¨They never did...?¨

¨Look!¨ you clicked some more. ¨When I press the buttons... they light up!¨

A moment of silence fell upon the two of you, and although Koby always felt comfortable in your presence, he wasn´t sure what to do now.  

You, on the other hand, didn´t seem to mind, too focused on your groundbreaking discovery. 

¨Y/N-san, they have always...¨

¨This is so cool!¨

¨Y/N-san... I don´t think you should...¨

¨What does this one do-¨

A loud shriek escaped your mouth when the shaking of the elevator took you off balance, making your butt meet the floor in a thump. The lights flashed a few times before everything in your sight was pitch black. 

You heard Koby call your name, asking if you were hurt, but all you could do was hold still, fearing for your life. The alcohol made the bouncing feel like a devastating earthquake. 

¨Y/N-san!¨ you felt light pats on your shoes. ¨Are you ok? I can´t see anything!¨ 

Koby crawled on the floor, using your foot as a way to locate you. 

¨Koby, stop moving.¨ you whispered, but he seemed not to hear, lost in his rumbles. ¨Koby, stop moving!. We´re going to fall.¨

¨Wh-no! Y/N-san, are you hurt?¨

¨No, I don´t think so.¨ you answered, head swirling and heart racing in your chest. 

¨Y/N-san, did you press the emergency button?¨ 

¨No!¨ you stopped for a second, failing to hold your drunken giggles for yourself. ¨But that´d be a great idea right now. I think I remember where it is!¨ 

You twisted your body towards the panel, ignoring Koby´s attempts to stop you, and started to touch the many buttons, searching for the emergency one. 

Click. 

Click. 

Click, click, click. 

¨It´s not worki-¨ you squealed when the elevator struck again, piercing sound of creaking metal cooling every disc in your spine.

¨Y/N-san, please stop pressing the buttons!¨ Koby cried. 

The feeling was too strange. You felt everything rocking slightly, no light was coming in, and the adrenaline made it difficult for you to calm down and adapt to the darkness. 

Your breathing had already become irregular and heavier when the emergency light turned on. It was dim and greenish but better than nothing. 

¨Oh, no.¨ he said.

¨No, no. Don´t say oh, no.¨ You shook your head. 

¨Y/N-san, that´s the emergency light.¨

¨Yeah, so...?¨

¨So the elevators are not a priority now.¨

¨And that´s bad...?¨

¨Well, yes, because the energy is being used somewhere else.¨

You stared at him for a few seconds. All of his words made total sense, and in a normal situation, you would be able to handle it without further complications. 

¨Koby, I don´t know if you´re getting somewhere...¨

¨Y/N-san, there was probably a problem with the generators, and they had to redirect the energy consumption.¨ you nodded, starting to connect some dots in your head. ¨I think they are sending everything to the kitchen beca-¨

¨Wait.¨ you said with a terrified expression painted all over your face. ¨We´re stuck?¨

He saw the panic grow in your eyes. 

¨Y-Yes. B-But it should be back soon, don´t worry. Someone will come.¨ 

You remained in silence for the first hour, mainly because you kept falling asleep.

Little by little, the effects of the alcohol on your body began to cease and your temperature to cool down. Added to that, the darker the night fell, the chillier it got. So at some point, you couldn´t sleep anymore because your bones wouldn´t stop shivering. 

Koby handed you his coat as soon as he took notice of your discomfort. 

¨No, you don´t have to-¨

¨Y/N-san, you´ll end up getting sick.¨ he spoke, leaning a bit forward so you could take the piece of clothing. 

¨Thanks.¨

A huge smile rose on your lips when the coat fell on your shoulders. It was incredibly warm and had his soothing laundry fresh smell. 

Maybe with a hint of meat from the party. 

It served you like a cape, so you pulled the collars closer to your body and curled up to retain the warmth. If you closed your eyes, you could almost feel like it was him. 

That granted you another nap. 

Still, after about twenty minutes, something woke you up. This time it was a sneeze from Koby, who leaned against the wall, hugging his legs close to his body. 

Guilt hit you right in the guts. 

You crawled towards him, gently poking his leg. 

¨Koby-san...¨

He raised his head and mumbled something you didn't understand. Maybe he asked if you were ok. 

¨I... I´m still a little cold... c-can I sit by your side?¨

¨Uh? Yes, of course.¨ he shifted on the same spot, only to return to the previous position. 

His voice was a little nasal and rasped, probably from the cold. You hoped he wouldn´t get a sore throat. 

The coat became a blanket that you used to cover both of your legs, although he made sure you had gotten the bottom end since it had more fabric.

¨Are you feeling better, Y/N-san?¨

¨I am, thank you.¨ you whispered.

¨Y-You can lay on my shoulder... if you want.¨

You smiled and did as he suggested, curling up closer to him. It took you very little to fall asleep once you rested your head on his shoulder. His body began to feel warmer, and he even asked if you wanted to hook your arm with his to maintain warmth. 

Using the last bit of boldness provided by the saké, you reached for his hand. You had this sensation, deep down, that the feelings you carried for him were reciprocated. But you could deal with this some other time. For now, you focused on calming down the fireworks inside of your chest. 

[EXTRA SCENE]

A roaring noise followed by a ray of light fished you out of whatever dreams you were having. You pulled the blanket up to cover your eyes and snuggled deeper into the warm body in front of you.

Nothing crossed his mind at that moment. All you wanted to do was get rid of the light and have a few more hours to sleep. However, a sound like a throat clearing caught your attention.

You blinked a few times, images of last night taking form in your memory. The last thing you remembered before blacking out was you leaning against Koby.

I must have slipped to the floor at some point. 

Your hands were wrapped in a turquoise fabric, and it didn't take long for you to realize that the fabric was wrapped around someone.

Koby's scarf.

Koby!

You ended up lying in front of each other, sharing his uniform. Your face a few centimeters from his chest.

After yawning a couple of times, you opened a distance to look at him. 

His face was wrinkled, brows furrowed, and lips turned into a pout. The round glasses were no longer on his head, and the bandana, like his hair, was frowzy. 

So adorable.

A louder throat clearing made you turn your head. The groggy smile on your lips disappeared instantly with the image of the elevator repairer, Garp, and dozens of other marines staring at the two of you.

[baroquebucky]

idk if you’re taking requests but if you are could i get a loki one shot where the reader is super shy and quiet and the only person at the tower she really talks to is natasha but the others have tried and failed. but eventually loki comes to the tower and he gets her to trust him and she opens up to him?? or something along those lines lol i’m just in desperate need of some loki fluff🥺 also i absolutely adore your writing 🥰💓

a/n: yup yup ! i don’t write for loki much so i hope this isn’t too out of character !!

in which loki manages to break down your walls, magic free

word count: 2k

masterlist

You sat next to Natasha, quiet as the others laughed at the movie. You leaned over making a small comment to Natasha causing her to burst out laughing, the other looking over to see what had happened.

“tell them!” Natasha nudged you and you shook your head, looking at your hands as natasha repeated your comment, everyone bustling out into a fit of laughter.

“y/n is the funniest person here nobody can change my mind” Tony piped up, smiling at you as your face burned.

The rest of the night went smoothly, keeping to yourself and whispering to natasha, making her giggle.

“you really should try talking to the other y/n, they love you” nat urged you, walking to your rooms to settle in for the night. You shook your head, heart racing at the idea.

“no, i mean they seem nice it’s just i don’t know i get so nervous i don’t wanna make a fool out of myself and plus they’re so intimidating” you chuckled, shrugging your shoulders as you stopped at your room.

“you know you’re an avenger too right?” Nat laughed as you rolled your eyes, waving her off and saying goodnight.

Morning rolled around soon enough and you walked out, steve and Sam saying good morning and you smiled at them, rushing to make a bowl fo cereal and sitting a couple seats away from them.

“so y/n what are you gonna do today?” Steve smiled, trying to make conversation with you.

You thought for a bit before answering, “not much, just train maybe uh, i might go shopping with nat later” you replied, ending the conversation and finishing up your food.

You excused yourself before they could say anything else.

“you know thor is brining his brother today” sam called out and you looked at him confused.

“battle of New York one?” You questioned and he nodded, you raised your brows in surprise.

“he’s good now, nice guy i think” steve added, not wanting to worry you. You only nodded your head and left the kitchen, going to train for the rest of the morning.

“is everybody here?” Thor boomed, a smile on his face as his brother stood next to him, arms crossed across his chest.

“where is y/n? Will she be joining us?” Thor questioned, slightly upset you weren’t there.

“I’ll get her she’s probably sleeping or something” Natasha smiled, heading to your room.

She knocked on your door, letting herself in after a couple seconds and found you passed out on your bed, a book next to your head.

Shaking you gently she woke you up, “y/n, wake up thor brought his brother Cmon” she spoke quietly as you stirred awake.

“what? what time is it?” you questioned, yawning and rubbing your eyes, looking around for a bit.

“3:12, you knocked out after our session this morning” she smirked and you rolled your eyes.

“told you i stayed up late” you defended, getting up and putting on some socks.

Natasha was in a t shirt and some sweats, so you figured your t shirt and shorts weren’t too bad. Surely the rest of the team was dressed casually too.

You entered the living room, still half asleep following Natasha, waving hi to everybody.

“now that everyone is here, this is loki, my brother! he’s a good guy now and since we’re gonna be splitting time between here and Asgard i figured a proper introduction was over due” Thor beamed at everyone.

“well hi loki, nice to uh- meet you, again” steve spoke up, trying to get the others to say hi.

“mm a pleasure” loki gave him a tight smile, you rolled your eyes at his tone. You finally looked at him, he was dressed in an all black suit and dress shoes, you scoffed at his outfit.

“you always dress like that?” You spoke up, upset that he had been rude to steve. Everyone’s eyes went wide, turning to face you and loki looked shocked.

“and you are?” Loki shot back, checking you out.

“y/n, and you should be nicer” you quipped, narrowing your eyes at him. Natasha smirked at loki, knowing how sassy you could be after a nap.

“you’ve got a quick wit, i like that” loki smiled and you rolled your eyes, shifting your weight onto your other leg.

As everyone else warmed up loki you stayed an arms length away, only speaking up when someone talked directly to you.

You slowly moved away from the group, turning to sneak away to your room. A smile on your face as you turned around, only to bump into someone’s chest.

“leaving my welcome party so soon, love?” Loki smiled as you stumbled back, eyes widening.

“how- you were just over there?” You gawked, looking back where you saw another loki sitting and chatting with the others.

“magic, did they not tell you about me darling?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.

“no yeah they did, just didn’t pay much mind is all” you smiled, crossing your arms across your chest.

“you know, they didn’t tell me much about you, why’s that?” Loki asked, leaning against the wall and you fiddlers with your fingers.

“don’t really talk to them much, i- uh I’m pretty reserved” you spoke, a wave of realization washing over you as you fully woke up.

“don’t seem that shy to me” he smirked and you shook your head.

“no i was just really tired I’m so sorry I’m usually not like that I’m so sorry oh god” you spoke, fumbling over your words as your face grew hot from embarrassment.

“don’t apologize, i liked it” he smiled, pushing himself off the wall and moving so the oath to your room was no longer blocked.

“cant wait to see you around y/n” he spoke, letting you walk past him, biting your lip to contain your smile.

And you sure did see him around, telling him good morning when he sat himself next to you during breakfast, sparring with him when he suggested it after walking into the gym.

Loki found himself gravitating towards you, wanting to know everything about you, your favorite color, your middle name, your biggest fears. He wanted to know you.

He was persistent, constantly talking to you and spending time with you, he found himself doing things he never thought he would just to spend time with you. It’s how he was in his current predicament.

“okay just don’t smile or else it’ll crack” you replied, finishing brushing the green face mask on him, letting him use one of your head bands, one with pink fluffy bunny ears (he chose it himself).

“how can i not smile when the most beautiful person in all the nine realms is right here” he replied, making you roll your eyes.

You settled into you before, scooting next to him and turning on your favorite show. Both of you watching attentively as your masks dried.

“can i ask you something?” Loki spoke suddenly, you turned to look at him, a small hum signaling to continue.

“why don’t you talk to the others?” He asked softly, taking your hand in his to comfort you.

You let a couple moments pass to gather your thoughts, finally speaking up.

“they’re just really intimidating to me, i mean i grew up admiring steve and the other have saved the world countless times, I’ve helped them once but i didn’t even play that big of a role, it’s just really daunting you know?” He looked at the way your fingers intertwined and held back a smile.

“how come you weren’t scared to talk to me?” you looked at him, laughing softly.

“oh no i was scared shitless, you just wouldn’t leave me alone so i really had no choice” you replied, looking at your hands connected.

“is that how Natasha got close to you?”

You nodded, remembering the way she pestered you until you two became the best of friends, never leaving each other’s side for a whole week.

“well, i hope you know that I’m not going anywhere” he spoke, moving to face you. Reluctantly, you looked at him, tension thick in the air.

“what makes you so sure?” You asked, looking into his eyes.

Both of you leaned in a little, your breath hitched in your throat as you leaned closer, and closer, and-

ding! ding! ding!

Both of you jumped away at the sound of the alarm, clearing your throats and moving to wash the face mask off.

After you had both washed off the mask you headed back to your bed, sitting down with some space between your bodies. The sound of the show filling the room, neither one of you saying anything.

“what do-”

“why do-”

You both quieted at the sound of the others voice, laughing a little as you both stopped. He motioned for you to continue.

“what do you think about me?” You asked, fiddling with your fingers and picking at your nails, glancing at him for a second before focusing back to on your fingers.

“i think” he trailed off, scooting closer to you, “that you are one of the most amazing people I’ve met, that you are kind, funny and exciting” he finished, your thighs touching as you looked up at him.

“really?” you whispered, dizzy from how close the two of you were.

“absolutely.”

“what were you gonna say?” you asked, giving him a small smile before focusing on the tv show.

“why are you so sure that I’m gonna leave?” He questioned, eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes.

“i- well i never open up to people so they always just leave” you replied, furrowing your eyebrows before continuing.

“when i was in high school and such i used to be really outgoing and loud, everyone would tell me to be quiet when i got excited so i just kinda stopped altogether, no one complained much then” you laughed dryly, remembering the way your friends would get annoyed at how bubbly you were.

“they all left me after i stopped being loud, said i was boring.”

Loki felt his heart fall in his chest, he was angry at you past friends, but he was sad that you had changed so much for people who didn’t appreciate you.

“darling, look at me” he spoke softly, eyes meeting yours.

“i promise you that no one here thinks you are too much, i mean we have that falcon guy and spider boy, i can assure you they won’t tell you to tone it down” he reassured you and you shrugged your shoulders.

“how about we make a deal” loki smirked and you looked at him with narrow eyes.

“what kind of deal” you asked, suspicious of what he would propose.

“you try to come out of your shell more, and I’ll be nicer to the rest of the team” he stated simply, smiling at the way you thought about his deal, he could almost see the gears turning in your head.

“deal” you smiled, turning to look at him and extending you hand out.

He took your hand and pulled you to him, stopping you centimeters away from his face.

“may i?” He asked, eyes focused on your lips.

“yeah” you whispered breathlessly, crashing your lips onto his.

You both pulled away, a smile on your faces, you laughed at the way he immediately pulled you in for more.

You and Loki left your room not long after, knowing the team would be out and about despite it being almost 12 am.

“hi guys” steve smiled and you returned it, walking at bit faster before loki stopped you.

“remember our deal?” he whispered and you internally groaned, nodding and walking over to steve, heart pounding in your chest.

“hi Steve how has your day been?” You smiled, steve was taken back but quickly replied, easily falling into conversation with you.

Loki watched from a far, a smile on his face as you laughed, making conversation with the super soldier. Natasha stood next the Norse god, a smile on her face.

“Glad you could get her out of her shell” she smiled, eyes settling on you talking with Steve and Sam who had joined in.

“she just needed an extra push” Loki smiled, excited to see you become who you really were. Natasha felt her heart grow, she couldn’t wait for the team to appreciate you for who you always have been.

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Fred Weasley x Reader- The Worry of Wealth

Hey! As promised, I will be posting my three part Fred story in celebration of reaching 100 followers so quickly! Feedback is always welcome!

"Fred? Fred? Freddie? Hellooo? You're staring again." Fred was snapped out of his thoughts by his twin clicking his fingers in front of his face.

"What?"

"Y/N. You're staring at her again, it's getting a bit creepy if you ask me." George tugged his brother's arm out to the courtyard.

"Yeah well I didn't ask you." Fred quipped back, slumping on the wall. George raised an eyebrow at Fred's tone and nudged him. "It's just so bloody frustrating Georgie. I like her. Like I REALLY like her." He groaned, hitting his head back on the bricks and closing his eyes in annoyance as you walked past him and gave him a small smile.

Y/N L/N- the most gorgeous girl to ever grace the grounds of Hogwarts. You were clever, beautiful and one of the funniest people Fred had ever met- some of your pranks even leaving him in awe. If that all didn't already make it hard enough for Fred to catch your attention you were part of the L/N family. The one family that was even more wealthy than the Malfoys. You could have anybody you wanted. Poor old Fred fell for you hard the moment he was paired with you in second year potions and you kept catapulting random ingredients into everyone else's cauldrons so you and him had the luxury of being the first to finish and escape Snape's words of wrath, all while enjoying the confused looks of the other students who were adament they had followed the recipe step by step. That was 4 years ago. He'd always noticed you before then but never really paid you too much attention, knowing from the get-go you'd never be interested in a Weasley. He opened his eyes and looked down at his clothes. His shoes were his dad's old ones, the soles tearing from the leather and scuffing at the front. His robes were fraying and his jumper sleeves both had holes in after being both Bill's and Charlie's before he got given them and grimaced.

George just looked at his brother and frowned. Y/N was genuinely one of the nicest people he had ever met but he'd be lying if he didn't think his family's financial situation would stop her from seeing Fred in any way more than just a friend rather than embarrassing herself by dating the guy from the poorest family at Hogwarts. Still, he'd always try anything to help his brother get what he wants.

"Come on Freddie, we've got quidditch practice next. That'll take your mind off her for at least a little bit." Fred still sulked and wouldn't move. "Oi." George slapped Fred's arm. "I'll race you. Last one there is a soggy mandrake." And with that George started to run. Fred rolled his eyes and jogged behind him. All of a sudden a huge crash was heard as George tripped and fell straight into the group of you and your friends, sending the books and papers you had stacked in your hands flying through the air and landing on the ground. "Ooopppss." George spoke childishly. "Sorry Y/N, gotta run. I’ve got a race to win." George finished continuing to run to the quidditch grounds after shooting a wink in his brother's direction. Fred immediately went to help you.

"Sorry my brother is such a bloody idiot. If you think this is bad, imagine living with him." He attempted to joke as his piled your discarded papers in his arms. He offered his hand out to you to help you up and felt his face flush as your skin came into contact with his. You just laughed it off and stood.

"It's fine honestly. I have 3 sisters, I'm used to it." You grinned, taking the pile of books and papers from him. He nodded in response and wiped his hands on his trousers, noticing they had become clammy. "Thanks Fred." You smiled, leaning up to kiss his pale cheek, trying to hide your amusement as you watched his face become redder than his hair. Fred zoned back in from his little daydream and opened his mouth to speak.

"Uh do you want a hand? With the books I mean. Not that I'd give you a hand with anything else. Obviously. Unless you wanted me to. Then I-" Your giggling cut him off.

"I'm actually free next period. Do you want to help me carry these back to my dorm? We could hang out for a bit after if you wanted as a thank you?" You asked, feeling your own heart beat a little rapidly for finally asking out the boy you'd been fawning over since you were 14. You watched as his face dropped and panicked. "You don't have to don't worry.."

"NO! Uh I mean.. I'd love to... but I can't. I can help you carry your stuff but there's quidditch practice I've got to go to since we have that big game against Slytherin in a couple days." Fred shouted inwardly at himself. The one bloody time he had an opportunity to be with you for a bit and he couldn't go. Although he was tempted to drop everything then and there for you.

"No worries! How about you sneak me into practice and then we can go grab a butterbeer afterwards?" You tried again, mentally crossing your fingers for luck. Fred nodded, for once in his life being completely speechless. He knew he shouldn't get his hopes up and that this was just going to be an innocent drink among friends but he was still excited. He took all of your stuff from your hands, despite you saying you could carry a little bit before thinking through what you had said earlier and turning his head towards you.

"Hey Y/N?" You hummed in response. "How did you know I was Fred anyway? I'm pretty sure no one said our names when George rugby tackled you." You grinned and felt your cheeks warm a little. After having a soft spot for Fred the last four years you could tell the difference between him and his brother in a heartbeat.

"You're my favourite." You answered innocently.

"Right. Yeah okay. Makes sense." Fred swallowed deeply and carried on walking beside you.

In the distance George watched on and grinned to himself.

"Oh George Weasley you genius. 10 points for supreme wingmanery." He grinned to himself, actually making his way to the quidditch pitch now.

Barely 10 minutes had passed before Fred came sauntering out onto the quidditch pitch.

"Oi what took you so bloody long? Do you want us to lose?" Ron shouted at his brother. Fred said nothing and instead turned to face the stalls, giving you a quick wave and kicking up on his broom. "Bloody hell is that Y/N? As in THE Y/N L/N?" Ron's eyes widened as seeing your face in the distance.

"Freddie here is just a boy in love." George teased, making kissing noises as he flew around his twin.

"No way. Sorry Fred but it won't happen." Ron quipped, tightening his grip on his broom. "Have you seen her? She's gorgeous." He trailed off. "Not to mention stinking rich."

"Well rumour has it that Fred is going to Hogsmeade with her after practice for some butterbeer as 'friends'" George grinned.

"How did yo-"

"Eyes and ears everywhere Fred." Before anyone else could say a word Madame Hooch came out to begin training.

Spending 60 minutes ogling Fred Weasley was definitely one of your best choices of time wasting. You hadn't even realised they had finished until Fred came flying over to you, red faced and sweating slightly.

"Could you give me like 10 minutes to get cleaned up then I'll be ready to go if you're still up for it?"

"Of course I'm still up for it. It was my idea after all." You grinned.

"Wicked." He turned to fly back down when you called him back.

"Fancy giving me a lift down there? The stairs are a killer, I'll look like I've played 12 rounds of quidditch by the time I reach the bottom." You joked, slinging your small bag over your shoulder.

"You'd still look gorgeous." Fred muttered; realising quickly he said his thoughts out loud and coughed, hoping you didn't hear. "Uh I mean yeah. If you want. I'm a bit sweaty, mind and my broom's not the best but I reckon it could take your weight too.." He stopped and groaned. "Bollocks that's not what I meant. Obviously it would take your weight, you're perfect.. I mean, not perfect. Nobody's perfect. Not that you're NOT perfe-"

"Fred you're all good." You blushed a little at his words and his nervousness. He nodded and turned around and shuffling forward a little.

"Your chariot awaits Madame."

Fred stiffened as you used his shoulders for balance to climb behind him on the broom. You wrapped your arms around his frame and squeezed a little, both faces burning from the close proximity as you made your journey to the bottom of the pitch near the other players.

"I'll see you in a minute?" Fred asked more than anything, still not quite sure if you were going to go through with going out with him. You nodded and smiled, taking a seat on the bench there as the team walked through to the changing rooms.

"Not even been on a date yet and she's already ridden your broom."

"Bugger off George."

/./././././././././././././././././././././././././

The journey to The Hogshead was silent. Not awkard but equally not NOT awkward. It was unlike either of you to have nothing to say so this was definitely a new experience; you just hoped the conversation would pick up when you sat down with your drinks. Thankfully, it did.

"You know, I'm kind of glad your brother launched me in the courtyard. I've been wanting a good enough excuse to talk to you outside of class for a while." You admitted, awkwardly wiping away the condensation from the side of your butterbeer glass. Fred's cheeks dusted pink a little and he smiled.

"You didn't need an excuse; I'd have said yes anyway. Unless of course you like getting thrown to the ground before every date." OhshitFredsheneversaiditwasadate. "Not that this is a date. Is it? I wouldn't not like it to be. I get if it-"

"I've never heard you stumble over any of your words before. To be fair, I don't think I've heard you finish your own sentence for a while. It's cute." You grinned. "This can be whatever you want it to be." You finished. Fred tested the waters by reaching his hand over the table to hold yours, rubbing his thumb along your knuckle.

"Thank Merlin for that. That could have been bloody awkward." With that interaction dealt with, the two of you spent the next hour chatting about anything and everything, neither of you having laughed so much before. Why hadn't he just manned up and asked you out sooner? You were just so amazing it enchanted Fred; enchanted him enough the past 60 minutes that he forgot he only had enough money for one butterbeer until the waitress came over with the bill; he had just finished his third but now he was sure he was going to throw it all back up. What was he going to do? Fred felt his hands sweat and his cheeks burn.

"Fred? Hey, are you okay?" You asked, placing the money for your drinks on the receipt.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Fred croaked, pulling his hand out his pocket to show his few measly coins that he had. Mixed in it was 2 buttons and a piece of gum, none of which Fred was sure would work as accepted currency.

"Don't worry about it, I got it." You smiled, taking out some more money and setting your purse back in your bag. The waitress gave Fred a look and smiled at you before walking away. Fred had never felt so embarrassed- now he remembered why he didn't ask you out before. Then he felt himself doing something he hadn't done in years- his eyes started to water and he had to get out of there.

"Sorry I've uh. I've got to go. Thank you for the drinks." And with that he all but ran out of there, turning multiple corners until he found the side street next to Zonko's that led to a small seating area he could be alone for a while. What was he thinking? Did he honestly think going out with the richest, most popular girl in school was going to work in his favour? Stupid, even for you Freddie. He hung his head in his hands and groaned, so lost in thought that he didn't hear someone walking up to him, only startling when he felt a small hand on his shoulder.

"Fred?" Oh god, it was you. Let's play a game called 'How Many More Times Can Fred Make Himself Look A Complete Moron'.

"Hey. I should be able to pay you back in a few months after my birthday. Sorry again." He muttered, standing up to get ready to leave again. You tugged him back by his sleeve.

"Don't be silly Fred, you don't have to pay me back at all. You paid me enough just by agreeing to come with me." You smiled, slipping your hand from his sleeve to his hand, lacing your fingers with his. Fred sighed again and gave you a weak smile.

"You could literally have anyone el-"

"What if I don't want anyone else?"

"Then you're weird."

"You're weird too."

"Mean.."

"Kiss me."

"What?"

"Kiss me." Fred still just stood there dumbfounded so you rolled your eyes and pulled him towards you, wrapping your arms round his neck and kissing him. After the shock settled Fred kissed back, bits of confidence coming back to him as he placed his hands on your waist, pulling your body as close to his as he could. Eventually the need to breathe called and you pulled away, resting your foreheads together.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." You both said at the same time and started to laugh. "Second year potions?" You laughed again and pecked each other's lips once more.

"You know I can't take you out to fancy restaurants and buy you expensive gifts right?" Fred breathed, still trying to recover mentally from what just happened. Christ George wouldn't believe it.

"Fred you could take me to a junkyard bin diving and as long as you called it a date I'd love it because you'd be there."

"You're giving me some good ideas here. Hold on a sec, just need to grab my quill." He laughed, taking a step back from you but reaching for your hand to still keep you close. You slapped his chest with your free hand and laughed. "So it really doesn't bother you? Genuinely? I won't be offended. Although after that kiss I might cry a bit." You smiled as you made your journey back to Hogwarts hand-in-hand.

"Not even a little bit."

././././././././././././././././././././././

"No way. Harry, give me your glasses." Ron slapped his best friend's arm as he watched you and Fred walk through the courtyard holding hands.

"What?"

"Jammy git he is. Look. Fred and Y/N. Holding hands." Ron stated, pointing obviously towards you two. Harry stared too, equally surprised.

"That, Ronald, was the creation of yours truly." George appeared from nowhere. "This morning I ran into Y/N, knowing little lover boy would help her. She asked him out as a thank you. I'm practically Cupid." George beamed, genuinely happy his plan worked for Fred's sake (and for his own bragging rights).

"Bloody hell. We've got divinations next, fancy tripping Hermione down the stairs?"

"Ron!" Harry exclaimed.

"What?"