#barber family memories

[cevansbrat0007]

@pearlsofme - OMG! You are too much! I could definitely see them doing that. A.J. and Reader would be mortified, meanwhile Andy just be standing there looking hella confused. Filing this thought away for future consideration. LOL

I remember you posting about all the kids hobbies and what they like to do for fun… but I can’t find it now. 🫣 I was curious though if any of them did any competitive sports because I think Andy would be an intense dance dad or whatever sport. You know what I mean? I want him to know all the moves and marking them on the side, where the bedazzled team jerseys, be the runner to get them everything they need and overall be a biggest and loudest cheerleader for his family. 🥹

But then again you know him better than me. 🤷‍♀️

Hi there! You can read more about the GP kids' hobbies in this post HERE.

As for whether or not any of the kids play competitive sports, the answer is yes. BiBi is heavily involved in soccer - she is very competitive. In the beginning, Andy knew nothing about the sport. But like any good dad, he quickly became an expert.

This man read books, he learned the plays, he even acted as assistant coach until she hit a certain age. Andrew Barber is the type of soccer Dad who stays ready with a clipboard and dry erase markers. He does the team chants with the ladies, wears the face paint, brings the snacks, let's the girls dump gatorade on them after a win...

And yes, he will argue with the ref. It doesn't matter if he's coaching or watching from the sidelines as a spectator. When his girls are on the field, I'm talking about the entire team, the officials had better treat them right. Or else.

He may have been banished to the parking lot once. But that was more Reader's doing, not the refs.

Andy also golfs with Katrina, although that's more of a father daughter deal. And while they have an amazing time it doesn't go farther than that because at some point she gets involved with the school newspaper/yearbook committee.

A.J. plays basketball and is very involved with his team as well. And you had best believe that is father is at every game cheering him on. Junior is a big kid - taller than Andy. That young man is also very sweet, in addition to being talented. And since he's really good, sometimes he gets flack from coaches, and even parents, on other teams. Junior goes to a predominately white school and the teams they play often reflect the same makeup.

That young man has been subjected to a couple of rough comments. We're talking seriously out-of-pocket remarks. Those times Reader did not send Andy out to the parking lot. She stood behind him and let him handle that shit with the Male Coaches/Fathers while she sized up the Mamas.

I'll tell you about it if you want. But the moral of the story is DO NOT FUCK WITH THE BARBERS.

As for Aurora, who also goes by Rory or RoRo, she was briefly into ballet as a little girl. But she suffered from serious stage fright. Not only that, but she tended to get upset whenever her Daddy tried to drop her off at practice. So guess who ended up staying behind and learning all the moves? Andrew Barber.

Remind me to tell you about the time he ended up participating in a recital because Rory refused to dance on stage without him. I can tell you right now, that it was hilarious. But rest assured that Reader got it on video and was incredibly proud of them both.

Hope that answers your question(s)! Please let me know if there are more!

[allantheauthor]

Private Journal of Doctor Jack Tyler December 29th, 2012 "The Haircut" - Part III

 I frowned at my grandfather saying, “Hey, my hair isn’t that long.”      “No, but it looks like the last time it was cut someone took a weed-whacker to it,” he grunted and gestured at the seat. “So which of you mop-tops is going to be first?”      “Mop-Top?” Darlene repeated, scrunching up her face in such a way it was clear she didn’t know whether to be amused or confused.      Luckily…

[illnessfaker]

tw: black+trans death

from the_yvesdropper on instagram:

our beautiful black trans brother, 35 year old Righteous Torrence "Chevy" Hill, was murdered in Atlanta, GA this weekend.

he went by his nickname 'Chevy' he was originally from Macon, GA. he owned Evollusion, which is a black/ queer owned LGBTQ+ salon in Atlanta that provided and dedicated full service to specializing in hair, nails, barbering and makeup. growing up as young black queer boys/kids, the barbershop experience can sometimes be a tricky space to occupy, this was something that Chevy understood and wanted to cultivate a space of safety where you can also get the affirming look and style you want, and he did exactly that.

Chevy was a beloved son, brother, partner, and father.

one of his last posts that had a photo of himself said :

"if you truly know me, you know i am a humble, modest, private man, that i love my community, i have the love of God in me and will give the shirt off my back to any soul in need, also i never post pictures of myself, legaey give myself credit, that stops today, i am my legacy!"

(a close friend of Chevy asked if i could share more then one photo of Chevy, since he never posted photos of himself and in recent years he got the confidence to want to share more photos and now he won't get the chance to)

Chevy, hey king, hey brother, hey angel, thank you for everything, i lové you, we lové you, i'm so sorry. there are a lot of photographers in heaven who will be able to photograph you as the glorious black trans angel that you are.

there will be a homegoing service/memorial for our brother

there aren't many details about what happened but apparently he was shot by a family member last wednesday, the 28th (at least this article was the one linked in relation to his murder.)

judging by both the IG post and the comments section he was well-loved by many people and those people have many good memories with him and nothing but good things to say. this is a comment that was left by tirajmeansgolden which was hidden by IG for some reason:

I started testosterone in February 2020. I hit this man up at the end of 2019 after numerous Google searches for an LGBT-friendly barber near me (and by near me... he was a good 35-40 minutes from the rural area I was in outside of Atlanta: but when I found out he was a trans man and that his business was the first and only LGBT hair bar, I knew it would be worth the trip). I was a dysphoric mess in his DMs one Sunday. I hated how my hair was growing out. I never had a "masculine" hairstyle before but decided one day I would buzz it all off myself, then allowed it to grow out a bit... I sent him a video and despite him being closed on Sunday, he told me to come through. I got my hair braided and he gave me my first really masculine fade. Explained the different terms. Lined me up. Was asking me about my decision to transition and provided some helpful advice + guidance. I told him how I was a therapist and he was hype and said he talked with a group of trans men and he would love for me to stop by and also give some mental health tips. So whoever said he was humble - wow, what an understatement. Such a community man! Made me feel SO comfortable because barbershops were a source of major trauma and triggers for me. They were such an integral part of my early transition (I just celebrated 4 years later week). And he was such an integral part of the Atlanta Queer community with hosting events like Queer Con. How I found so many other great resources + queer businesses/artists. May you rest in peace, Chevy. You'll be missed. You've made such a different in the lives of countless people. You definitely were living your Purpose + left a legacy behind ...

[georgiapeach30513]

Two Good Reasons, Part 5

Summary: You and Andy have family fun

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings:  explicit sexual content, explicit langauge, unprotected sex, oral sex (F receiving), fingering, PIV sex, mentions of infidelity, depictions of an allergic reaction, baby Suede 🥺18+ ONLY

Word Count: 8.4K

Previous

Series Masterlist

“Stop,” you giggle, trying to push Andy off your back by bumping him with your ass. He likes this way too much to ever stop, and you don’t actually want him to. His mouth permanently plants on your neck as you mix up some chicken salad.

“Andy,” you can’t help but squeal. Knowing that you have things that you need to do, but he feels so good. Too good. His lips know exactly what to touch on your body, and judging by the heat radiating from his crotch to your ass, you know he’s wanting to break the bed in.

“First lunch,” it’s such a weak boundary that you’re willing to fold on.

“The only thing I want to eat is you,” his voice is so hoarse as his hips roll into you, and you feel his hardening length. Dizzying your mind immediately. Those meaty hands knead on your breasts, and you back yourself more into him. You need more. You need all of him, “See, who needs lunch?”

“Mmm,” you groan, closing your eyes as you just focus on Andy and his ministrations. Now he is the only reason you haven’t spent your weekend pacing around the house, staring at your phone, wishing that Scott would at least read that you asked him to let the kids call you this morning. Now it’s after lunch and you still haven’t got to hear their voice, or see their giggling faces.

“Andy,” you’re so weak when it comes to him, but at least the feeling is mutual. The spoon drops into the bowl, and your hand grabs his cheek, pulling him to your mouth, closer to where you need him, and you melt into him. Pushing your ass into his engorged pants, and arching your back so you can gain better access, you preen at just how hard he is for you. You need him ways you have never needed someone before.

The wait and journey were worth it, and now you didn’t feel rushed, you wanted him to fully take his time. His tongue rubs over your lips, and you part them the same way your legs part. Andy makes quick work of your button before plunging his hand down the front, and right to your core. His fingers gather your slick, and then move back to your bundle of nerves. He creates the slowest circles with not enough pressure, and you whine.

“You’re so wet for me, Doe. So very wet. How about we put this in the fridge, and then…” his movements pause, and your eyes go wider. You get a sweet smile before he’s pulling his hand out of your pants, and you spring to your bedroom. You didn’t even pause. The new bed, and bedding just feels better, and didn’t cause that awful memory to imprint in your mind. Andy hadn’t been defiled by your disgusting husband; he is still here, and ready for a life with your and your babies.

The bed hasn’t even been defiled by your boyfriend — yet. It feels good to say your boyfriend. You nearly slide into your bed as you reach for your phone, you click it on, and say hey still breathless as your beautiful babies’ faces come onto the screen.

“Hi, mama!” Suede squeals, trying to lean more into the screen. “Mama, hi!”

“Hi, Suedey, give sissy some room, too. What are you guys doing?” Audrey’s eyes look beyond the phone. You assume she’s looking up at her dad as she smiles up at him. Despite it all, you’re glad that she’s continued to have a relationship with Scott.

“Daddy and Taylor are taking us to soft play!” You hope that Scott realizes just how happy she sounds and looks. Even the bright smile on Suede’s face makes you feel more at ease. If only Scott could hold those memories in his mind, so when they ask to play with him, he understands the joy it brings.

“Chess! Me pay!”

“And daddy said he’s going to get on the trampoline with us,” both kids are smiling ear to ear, and looking beyond the phone. You miss them, but when they look at ease and this happy, it helps.

“Daddy jump! Chess!” He throws his hands up into the air, and you sigh in relief as he looks up and behind the screen again, holding his fist up for a bump. “Aye!”

“Yay!” Scott repeats. You hope that he can see how much they enjoy playing, and how much more special it is to play with their parents. Especially with Suede. Him and Scott have such a strained relationship, and he was a baby. Your children just want to make Scott happy and proud, and you think there’s a part of him that often forgets that, and it’s no longer your responsibility to remind him. He chose this path, not you.

“Na Na at?” Suede puts on a serious face, and he gives a growl. “Mama, Na Na at?”

You’re leaning over onto the bed, laying on your belly, and Andy’s fingers graze up the backs of your thighs, before gripping tightly to your ass, and he leans into frame, the kids none the wiser of how Andy’s hard cock is settled on your back, “Na Na! Me pay!”

“I hope you have so much fun, too,” Andy is such a turd, keeping his hand groping your thighs, and trying to inch back to the unbuttoned jeans, but him being so sweet to the two little on the phone is confusing your brain. “You gotta see if you can jump higher than your dad.”

“Me tan! Ump high!”

Audrey is too busy paying attention to her dad, smiling up at him to be fully involved with the conversation. She misses him so much. They had a sweet bond sometimes. Even if her dad pushed her academically, he also made time to play with her. “Alright, tell your mom bye,” of course he wouldn’t acknowledge Andy’s presence. Just for that comment, Andy’s hand moves from your thigh to in between your cheeks, and under you, cupping your throbbing cunt. And his face is the picture of innocence.

“Mama bye! Na Na bye! Ove ooo!”

“Love you, Suedey. Bye, sissy. Have fun today, and watch bubba.”

“Okay, mommy. I love you,” and with that, Scott’s finger comes into view as he clicks the end button too quickly, and you just stare at where their smiling faces once were. You suppose Scott didn’t want to hear if Andy loved his kids or not. You’re at least happy that Suede wasn’t crying, and that Audrey is being her smiling self. It hurts when they’re away, but them having fun makes it more bearable.

Andy grabs the phone out of your hand, and flips your body over, having you lay on your back before he sinks to his knees. Carefully removing each sock, “I think you need to take a day off and get a pedicure,” you roll your eyes, but his hands slide up your legs, and up to your hips where he starts tugging at your still undone jeans.

“I’m serious,” he whispers, kissing over your panties. Starting at the elastic before dipping lower, and lower. He didn’t pull the pants low enough, so you can’t even spread your legs further, and give him access to where you want him, “Why so needy, honey?”

His voice is like silk as it rumbles right at the start of your split. “Mmm,” you whine more than moan. Trying to tug your jeans down, and then your panties. You want him and need him over every inch of you.

He chuckles, jerking your jeans completely down, and you tug on your panties. “Uh uh,” he tsks, removing your hands, and pinning them to the sides of your body. And when you whine, he smacks at your quivering cunt.

“Andy!”

“Can you just let me enjoy myself?” You start to protest, but he flattens his tongue, and licks up your entire covered slit, and you want to drool. The way he’s obsessed with you, and making out with a different set of lips. Licking, nibbling, kissing, devouring. Close, but not close enough. Where you want him, but not how you want him. Your lace panties are ruined. Soaked through and you don’t know if it’s your juices or Andy’s, and it’s probably both.

He moans like he is eating a delectable dessert. Laving up every bit of your honey, and you’re so into this moment. Forgetting where you are, and just feeling him. And when he slips the thin material to the side, he smiles up at your wrecked face before gorging himself on your slick. Stabbing two thick fingers into your hole while he sucks on your clit. In and out. In and out. He makes excellent work on two forms of stimulation.

Andy then presses on your stomach, adding a bit more pressure there, and it’s as if he opened nerve endings you didn’t know existed. Everything becomes more sensitive, like you can feel every bit of his calloused fingers, and exactly what part of your pillowy walls they’re touching. Curling his fingers, he drives harder into you, and you scream his name up at the ceiling like a prayer, mixing in non-words to emphasize the pleasure coursing through your veins.

Asking for him to have mercy on you as a deep rooted coil twists tight in your belly. A feeling you’re familiar with, but then it’s so much more prominent. It’s toe curling. It’s out of body. It’s a high you could become addicted to.

You try to lift off the bed, and can’t, he presses down harder, and with this odd amount of pressure, things build. Build. Harder. Tighter. Heating up. You whimper out his name in a long laborious moan, and your dam breaks. Juices spray over Andy’s face and down his shirt, and his movements slow.

Going slower each second as he coaxes you down from your high, and he leans back on his ankles, panting, and smiling at you. His chest heaves right along with yours, and you sit up on your elbows, smiling at him. “What was that?”

“Well,” he licks his lips, and you look down at his soaked shirt. If you didn’t remember what his shirt looked like beforehand, you would wonder how the cotton became drenched, “You learned a new trick.”

“No,” you giggle, watching as he removes his ruined shirt. You’ve never been a woman obsessed with tits, but his are massive. So pillowy and still hard. Still so scrumptious, and you just find yourself wanting to bite and bury your face in his titties, or at least squeeze, bite, kiss, lick, or touch them. Whichever came first. “I can’t squirt.”

“You couldn’t before, but now, clearly you can, and it was the hottest shit I’ve ever seen. Maybe nobody has ever made you come so hard, and that was only with my fingers and mouth,” he stands up with his devilish smirk, yanking his pants and boxers down in one go, and his cock flares up to life. Bouncing to attention, and shining with beads of precum, and you’re so thankful you can’t get pregnant because you want nothing to separate you from Andy. As he steps out of his pants, you pull off your shirt, and it’s as if something smacks you in the gut.

You go blank as a quick flash of Taylor riding Scott jumps into your mind. Your body freezes, and you stare at nothing. You’re numb, and falling. It’s like a black hole sucks you up when you realize where you are. And then a pair of beautiful blue eyes breaks into your darkness. “Only look at me, Doe. Stay with me.”

Andy crawls onto the bed, using his thick stature to keep you spread. His throbbing cock runs through your slick and smears his precum through your opening. “Are you with me, honey?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want me?”

“Like I’ve never wanted anything before,” slowly he inches into your body. Hooking his hands behind your knees he lifts up your legs. Making them follow his descent into your warmth. He pushes them wide, and makes your head and legs go in ‘the same direction. Keeping you spread and at an angle that he can bury himself to the hilt. Not stopping until the spongy tip of his head kisses your cervix, and you sigh.

“Andy, I love you, but I’m ruined,” he deserves someone better than you. Someone that didn’t have all this baggage, and an impending divorce on the horizon.

“I know. You’re ruined by me. But you, my beautiful sweet little deer, are not ruined. You’re perfect. I don’t care if you have your moments. Just keep your eyes on me. It’s just us, okay?” You nod your head, breathlessly trying to stay with him. As he slowly rolls his hips into your body. “Give me a good reason. Just one good reason.”

You gulp, “Because it’s always been you,” Andy draws himself out of you, and pushes back through slowly, and you feel that thick vein drag through your weeping cunt. You feel every inch of him. “It was only ever you,” your eyes stay locked on him. Only on him. You didn’t even know where you were, you just know you are with him. Only him. Nothing else matters but the way that Andy has you fully filled.

All you have ever wanted were moments with him. Adult moments that you two only ever talked and teased about. The two of you connect as one with no barriers, just like now. Wet hot skin on wet hot skin. The way he would enjoy filling you up with his seed, and then his child. The way you thought up names for your unborn children. All of this was supposed to be for him, and now you can’t give it to him. Except the one thing he really wants.

“We’re not in a rush,” he assures you, his pace starting to pick up. Each thrust met with a grunt from his voice, “And we’re already a family,” tears fill your lash line. You didn’t know how this man could be so perfect, but it wasn’t the same. “We’ll adopt. Or have a surrogate,” you keep looking into his eyes so full of sincerity. You’ve never wanted intense eye connect with anyone during sex, except Andy. You would bare your soul for him, “Or we could get lucky.”

Smirking, he rolls the two of you over without leaving your warmth, keeping you on top. He pulls your hands to his chest, and he grips onto your hips so tightly. His eyes gaze upon you like you’re the most perfect thing in the world. Like you’re a goddess that is so precious to him. You move over him once.

“Use me, Doe. I am here for you to use. Take out your anger and frustrations on my body. Enjoy yourself. Claim it back,” with every word he says up to you, you move faster. Harder. A grind turns into bounces. “There she is. You feel so good. I love you, and we’ll do what we have to. But I’m yours. All of me is yours, and it always was.”

You ride on top of him so fast, and still hold his stare. He meant it. Meant every word. And you need to hold them inside of you, and want to protect those promises. Scott might have dragged you down little by little, but he didn’t destroy you. Your babies didn’t allow him. “I’m. All. Yours,” he repeats as you slam your body over his, over and over again. Sucking him in so deep that you see stars.

Andy’s voice is pained as he tries to stave off his orgasm. “Let go, baby. Let go for me. Let me feel your body surge around me, so I know that you are mine. Every inch of you is mine. You belong to me,” and everything tumbles down to the ground. He didn’t take down your walls brick by brick, he sent in a wrecking ball and destroyed them. Obliterated anything that separates you and him. Perfectly at the same time, euphoria cocoons the two of you in a matrimony of pleasure and the sweetest sin, and you sigh as Andy’s hot cream coats the inside of you.

You will never get tired of this feeling. The way his sticky heat fills every inch of you, and you hope one day, any day could connect the two of you together with Andy’s flesh and blood. You want to give that to him so badly. It’s what he deserves. He pulls you into his chest as he peppers kisses over your lips.

“We wasted so much time not doing this before.”

“We were too young, and we were terrified of getting pregnant before you finished law school,” while the sex is amazing, there’s something almost sweet about him softening in you, and dripping out of you. “I saw on the internet there’s these blankets that are waterproof. You just lay them over your bed, and your bedding doesn’t get, well, you know — wet.”

“Filthy and drenched in your squirt.”

“Stop! I did not squirt.”

“You most certainly did, and I drank it all up. We’ll get you your fancy blanket,” he stares at you a moment, no words between you, just putting this moment into his core memories. “Doe, hypothetically speaking, our plan was never to have you working,” leave it to Andy to bring into question your job.

“Our plan didn’t involve me in paying for a divorce, and no, I will not allow you to pay for it. This is something I need to do on my own.”

“But,” you push a finger up against his mouth, silencing him.

“I need to do this,” Scott is your problem. You loved Andy for giving you the support that you desperately need, but you also need to handle your shit.

“But you could be at home with Suede.”

“Don’t tease me! Yes, I would love to be at home with my baby, but this is my problem, and I need to resolve it, and then we’ll talk about everything else.”

“Give him the house,” you roll your eyes, starting to look away, but he squeezes your cheeks with his fingers and thumb, making you look at him, “It can take awhile to find one. We’ll casually be looking for our home. But he can have this house. Not have him move in it now, you need it for the kids. But you heard what I said, I won’t be living here, and I won’t be living without you. Now, say, ‘Okay, Andy,’” you start to giggle, and he stifles his own laughter, “No, say it.”

“Okay, Andy. And in the meantime,” he gives you every bit of attention that you have longed for in years. Nothing else matters but you. “I think — you should — start staying some nights here.”

“You’re sure?” This is a huge step in general, but when you have children, and this is their space, it’s different. This is their space, their home. And you can’t make them feel uncomfortable.

“Or every night,” you can’t look away from him if you wanted to. You’ve never lived with Andy, and this is what you’re suggesting. You have a deep desire to beg him to move in. You didn’t want to spend a single second without him, “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“You’re the one that needs to be comfortable. This is yours and the kids' home,” and you understand that. You just want him ot be part of the equation.

“I know. They already want slumber parties with you. There’s empty space in the closet,” you hadn’t bothered with expanding your own clothes. Spreading everything out wide, and having the closet all to yourself.

“What are you suggesting?”

“If we’re going to be buying a house, we could save money if you sold the condo,” Andy nods. Things right now are more talk, but he knows Scott could have stipulations on you while you’re going through a divorce. And part of those stipulations could be where Andy lives. He’d make something up about someone not being able to officially move in with you. But six out of seven days isn’t fully living here.

You hum as a sleeping Andy pulls you closer to his front, his own taut body curling into yours in the perfect spoon. You’d been awake for a bit, but wanted to just soak him up this morning, knowing the kids are snuggled up in their beds, unaware that Andy had stayed the night. You worry how they’re going to react to seeing another man in the bedroom, even if they were excited about the new bed.

His soft beard tickles on your neck as he inhales, and you can’t help but to trace the vein on his arm. You could get used to this too easily. It’s so perfect. So comfortable and cozy, and today is going to be a perfect day. It is your weekend, and it is a beautiful fall day to spend with your family. Yes, Andy is part of that family, and if your kids didn’t adore him as much as they did, you might think twice about him staying until they wake up.

His lips pucker against your skin, and his breathing changes. Silly man, he is kissing you in his partial sleep addled state. You wonder how light of a sleeper he is now because you already hear the door to Suede’s room crack open. Can hear his heavy footfalls as he goes to see if his sissy is awake. There’s only minutes from him going in there until they’re padding down the stairs. Suede scooting more than anything.

Slowly they creep into the living room, and you hear Suede gasp, “Mama at?” His voice hurts you a bit because he sounds concerned. He’d become too accustomed to you sleeping on the couch.

“She wouldn’t leave us,” Audrey breathes in deeply, sniffing the air, “She’s not cooking.”

“Bed?”

“You go check.”

“Ooo.”

“I think you should,” they go back and forth a few times, and Andy kisses the back of your neck for real this time. It is a little bit groggy, but he does it.

“You are scaring them. Just say their names.”

“Shh,” you want them to genuinely just spot Andy when they come through the door. It wouldn’t be too much longer now. Their footfalls get louder, and then the sweetest mama whispers off Suede’s mouth the same time as the door starts opening, and his head peeks through first with Audrey shortly after.

“Mama?” The question on his voice is easy to infer. Easy enough for Andy to sit up so Suede can see his face, and he giggles, dashing to the bed along with Audrey. They’re both so fast, and then pulling their bodies onto the bed, and looking at the two of you. “Why?”

“Because we’re going to the pumpkin patch today.”

“Aye!”

“And we’re going right after breakfast,” Andy responds. You look at both kids and realize that you’re all smiling, including Andy. “So we should get started right now!” He sits fully upright so quickly that you all three start laughing. “Doe, you want to pack us some snacks for the day, and then I’ll make some breakfast?”

The amount of times that you realize how much more superior he is over Scott is too many to count, sometimes you wonder if this is just a dream. A figment of your imagination that you made up, so being alone wasn’t so hard.

But now, you’re going to be able to accomplish tasks so much faster because he is willing to help. He wants to get things going at the same time so it didn’t take as long. You didn’t have to be in a foul mood already because he wants to sit on the couch and watch the game. He is truly a part of the day in every sense.

“I’ll pack snacks. Let’s see what you got for breakfast.”

—

“Mommy,” Audrey gives a whisper as she tiptoes into your bedroom. You have just finished pulling on your boots. She gives a quick spin, “I really like this,” smoothing out her dress. She walks over beside you wrapping an arm around your leg, “Can we wear kinda matching clothes more often?”

“Of course sweetheart. Are you ready?” She twirls again before following you out of the bedroom, and your heart swoons at Suede in Andy’s lap. Both laid back watching Bluey, and Suede’s hand is petting on Andy’s beard. Andy in suits is hot. But Andy in flannels with your baby boy in his lap is quite possibly the sexiest thing you have ever laid eyes on.

“Yes! We’re ready, and look at you two, you match,” he scoots his body towards the edge of the couch, allowing Suede to get down, and he makes a sound you hadn’t really heard before, and then he walks out of the living room and towards the playroom. “I’ll have two beautiful girls with me today.”

“Ouch!” You turn around to see Suede stomping his foot, a toy falling behind Audrey, “Suedey that hurt!”

“Suede Theodore Huffman, you apologize to your sister right now,” Audrey tries to hold back tears as she kicks the block away, and rubs the back of her head. “We don’t throw things.”

“Me, too!” He screeches, tapping on his chest. “Me, too!”

“Audrey doesn’t have to say sorry, you do,” Suede normally is the average two year old. And then sometimes he has fits that typically included him not being able to tell anyways what he really needs.

“No no! Me, too!” His foot stomps again, looking at Andy. “Me, too, Na Na!” He smacks on his chest repeating his words over and over again, becoming more frustrated when you don’t understand. “Na Na! Me! Pease!”

Suede’s cheeks turn blotchy as tears stream down his face. “Bubba, it’s okay, I guess,” now Audrey is the one slamming herself down on the couch, and crossing her arms pouting. These moments are the ones you fear will cause Andy to rethink this relationship. Children are little people with emotions too big for their bodies, and things like this happen. And sometimes they happen often.

“Mama, me, too. Na Na!” You turn back to look at Andy, apologizing. He had been rubbing on the back of Audrey’s head where the block hit her. “Na Na! Me!” Your attention is back to Suede who gets that awful sound in his throat. This didn’t happen often, but during a few times when his frustration of having to vocalize something in so few words makes him so upset his breathing stops, and the crying takes over.

Dropping to your knees, you calmly kneel in front of your son. Trying to gently persuade him to breathe, so you don’t panic, “Suede, look at mommy. I need you to breathe,” it’s staggered and painful, but the screaming stops, but not he’s still unable to catch his breath.

Holding his hand you put it over your mouth. Inhaling and exhaling slowly. Methodically, “Buddy, breathe, we’ll figure it out,” his chest heaves, and he watches as Audrey runs into the kitchen. “Eyes on mommy, buddy.”

“Suede, breathe, and then you can tell us what’s wrong,” Andy squats down beside you, getting on Suede’s level instead of towering over him. Making him feel comfortable instead of making him feel fear for nothing being able to communicate. Becoming a safe space of communication instead of Scott’s screams that prolong the ordeal.

“Here, bubba,” Audrey hands him an applesauce pouch. “I know you didn’t want to hurt me,” she’s too kind, and he still will apologize once he’s calm.

“Hey, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” Suede points at his pumpkin shirt, and then at Andy’s. Babbling as he points at you and Audrey, but always ending with his chest and Andy’s, repeating ‘Me, too.’

“Na Na.”

“Andy?” He asks, and Suede nods his head. A smile tickles the edges of his mouth when he realizes that Andy is following along.

“Me — too,” Suede exhales so slow. It’s long and drawn out, but it helps him regulate the oxygen to his lungs.

“So,” Andy looks at you and Audrey. His eyes looking over your outfits before back to Suede, “Are you upset that you don’t match mommy and Audrey?” Suede shakes his head no, tapping on Andy’s chest, and repeating Na Na. You pout, knowing exactly what he’s trying to convey.

Andy smiles and nods his head, “Are you wanting to match with me?”

“Chess!” Suede starts wiping at his eyes, and then rubs over Andy’s flannel. “Dis. Ike dis.”

“You like this? Well, does he have flannel?” If you weren’t doing a hands off policy with Andy, you’d kiss him right now. That was one of the shortest temper tantrums with Suede ever. Obviously it was the first with Andy. Again little bodies and big emotions. “First, I think you need to tell your sissy you’re sorry. And next time, maybe we can talk before you throw things?”

“Tay,” Suede walks to Audrey, and gives her a big hug. The two of them giggle a bit, “Ree.”

“Okay, go find your shirt so we get good pumpkins for the stairs,” Suede grabs onto Andy’s hand, pulling him towards the stairs, and Andy picks him up. Carrying him up the stairs to rummage through his clothes. It was a moment that could have been avoided, and yet you still feel some butterflies that your son wants to dress like Andy. Wants to match him like you and Audrey match.

You just have never thought about buying matching outfits for him because Scott never would wear that. He preferred to pick out his own clothes, and didn’t want to look cutesy. “Auds, you want an applesauce pack, too?”

“Yes, please. Do I need to help with the car?”

You can see that she’s buzzing with excitement about Suede getting to dress like Andy. His flannel pairing nicely with yours and Audrey’s outfit. “No, baby. Here you go. I’m going to put the stroller, and stuff in the car, okay?” She blows you a kiss before heading up the stairs to babysit, of course.

With there being a lot of walking, you take the double stroller in case Audrey gets tired of walking. Carrying the bag of snacks and drinks to the garage, you smile a bit at Andy’s Audi beside your mom car. While this might not be your home with him, it’s the little things of your car and his being next to each other in the garage that make you happy. It’s the big things like Andy being the one to figure out Suede’s tantrum. And the sexy things like him being a good dad and keeping Suede busy while you got ready.

It’s the way that the three of them walk into the garage. Audrey holding his hand, and Andy holding Suede. They weren’t identical, but close enough to make your baby have the biggest proudest smile on his face. The way he looks even sexier as a dad. You bite your lip as Andy hands you Suede. He leans in for a kiss behind your ear, “You’re drooling.”

Oh, he’s walking with a bit more of a swagger than before. The flannel somehow emphasizes his shapely tits that you can't get enough of. He smirks, walking past you to open the door for Audrey. Helping her get in, and you have to contain yourself enough to get your toddler in his own seat. “You look handsome, bubs. You want to dress like Andy?”

“Chess!” Blowing raspberries on his neck, you place him into his seat. “My Na Na,” oh. Oh, that hits you hard. It’s not just you falling for Andy, it’s also them. They’re falling just as hard as you. The comfort, and the lack of weirdness today. You can never be sure how children will react to change in their home. And everyday is going to be different, but today has started off so good. The tantrum wasn’t great. But the result couldn’t have been better. Especially seeing Andy and Suede dress similarly.

Suede blinks hard over at Andy, and Andy winks back before closing the door. Both of you get in together, and just so there’s not any weirdness, you wait until he backs out of the garage, and gets turned around, and you settle your hand into his. Weaving your fingers together, and Audrey giggles, but Suede beams up at you and Andy.

“So which cheesy 80s music are we listening to today?”

“No! Play Taylor Swift!”

“Tip Tip.”

“No! I don’t want to listen to Tapleton. Play Taylor!” Andy smiles in the rear view mirror before turning on some AC/DC. It isn’t what either wanted, but Suede taps his foot along with it. “After this can you put on Tapleton for Suedey, and then a Taylor song for me, please?”

“Yes, since you asked nicely, and wanted to share, Chris Stapleton is next, and then Taylor,” you settle into the ease of the ride. You didn’t care what they listened to. It is the fact that everyone is happy and together. Stealing a glance at Andy, he squeezes your hand a bit. Today is going to be a good day.

“Andy! What about this one?” Suede grunts, trying to pick up a large pumpkin, while Audrey points at the pumpkin in question. “It’s kinda blue!” They have spent the better half of the afternoon picking out pumpkins, and trying to get Andy’s attention more than yours. Running up ahead of you and Andy, just to stop and make sure you’re both paying attention.

You had caught Andy’s prideful smile as the employee helping you on the hayride commented on his beautiful family. He smiled so big as he thanked him, and then clamored behind you and Audrey. Suede rarely left Andy’s arms, or lap, or hand. He has found him his buddy, and he clings to him constantly.

There’s a tiny part of you that is ridiculously jealous, but another part that loves that he has someone that Suede feels comfortable with. Someone he’s proud of. A man that he has chosen, too. “Can we have this one on the steps?”

“Chess. Ugh…big!” Suede stops trying to pick the pumpkin up, but points at it, until Andy leans over to grab it. You get a cheeky look at his scrumptious rump, and Suede keeps a hand on the pumpkin, ‘helping’ of course.

“Don’t ever stop checking me out, Doe,” he whispers, putting the pumpkin in the wheelbarrow. He drives you crazy with his whispers. These private flirty conversations with just him drives you wild!

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” how has life turned so happy? There’s an intensity, but it’s not tense. You keep calling it easy, but even that doesn’t fully explain everything. Comfort. Joyful. Cute. Hot. Sexy.

“Did you know you do this clicking noise with your tongue when you’re thinking about what you want to do to me?” the kids have already run off again, and you can look at them as an excuse not to stare at your beyond sexy boyfriend. “They have three more pumpkins to pick, and then we get to decorate the stairs for fall. Tell me you weren’t checking me out.”

“I shouldn’t lie.”

“You’ll admit that, but not that you make a noise? It must be involuntary then, hmm? It’s kinda hot though, so don’t stop. I love knowing I turn you on,” he steals a kiss before returning to the wheelbarrow, but first he pulls up his flannel shirt to give you a better view of his ass before following the kids. He’s in a flirty and cheeky mood today, and you’re loving it.

The both of you decided to let the kids guide the way in the corn maze. You and Andy stay behind as their giggling little voices trail ahead, discussing which way they’re going to turn. “I really like today,” Andy says out of nowhere. His eyes have stayed on them just as much as your own, and the way that he hasn’t hesitated to hold onto your hand.

“I’ve always wanted these moments with you, ya know?” Audrey and Suede stop at a crossroads, trying to figure out which way to go, and Andy pulls you in for a hug, and a quick peck. Releasing you before they make the decision. “It’s so simple, but these moments are just — the best. Can we make this a tradition? Pumpkin patch on the second weekend in September?”

“I love that idea. And,” you start walking once they’ve decided the direction they want to go. “I always wanted these moments, and I think I lied to myself in thinking that anyone could have replaced you.”

Andy sighs, squeezing your hand a few pulses. “Because I know how much you enjoy this, and want this, and you’re going to treasure these moments just as much as I do. So thank you. Their dad never did things like this with us. If we did this, it was just me and them. I think Scott just wants to do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it.”

“Daddy!” You and Andy both start walking faster as Audrey turns a corner, but Suede comes running back to you, holding his hands up for Andy to pick him up. Andy scoops him up right as you hear Taylor’s obnoxious cheery squeal.

“Oh, great,” groaning, you decide to be cordial. They’ve already spotted Audrey, so it’s not like you can hide. “Hey, Scott. Taylor,” you nod. With Scott holding Audrey, you see Taylor put her phone back in her pocket, a photo clearly just being taken. No doubt she’ll add some stupid caption on her Instagram, pretending to be the perfect step mom.

“Took you long enough to check on our daughter,” he emphasizes ‘our’ when he sees Andy holding Suede. “What are you doing here?” The bigger question is why is he here with Taylor, and wouldn’t be caught dead here with your and your children.

“I thought that the kids would like to enjoy some fall activities,” if Scott knew anything about Andy, he’d know how clipped his words seem, and just how irritated he sounds. “Tell your dad how many pumpkins you picked out,” Suede’s head picks up from Andy’s chest, and he holds both hands up.

“Ten pumpkins, huh? Wow. If you want, Scott and I can take the kids, and you and — whoever this is can have some time alone,” Taylor’s smile is sickeningly sweet. You want to like her, but the image of her disrespecting your marriage can never be forgiven, even if it was an already ruined marriage.

“Oh, no, they’re fine. We haven’t even got to see the kids’ play area,” some people didn’t understand you could have fun with Andy and the children. Knowing Scott as soon as he got a free moment without kids, he’d sneak her off somewhere to get in a quickie.

“Oh, it’ll be nothing. Suedey, you want me to hold you?”

“No,” Suede lays his head back on Andy’s chest, and you almost feel sorry for Taylor. Almost. She’s trying to win against you, and now Andy. She might be able talk Audrey into walking around with them, but never your son.

“Baby, it’s fine. They don’t need help with the kids,” vomit. Baby. You wonder if he realizes how gross it sounds to be calling this twenty-three year old baby, when he’s twenty years older than her. She’s literally young enough to be his baby. This relationship shouldn’t have moved past sex.

“I think they need to babysit their mom and Andy anyways, huh, Barber?” Ugh, Scott is such a pig. Everything has to be about sex. One day he would realize you and him have built a relationship that extends past the physical parts.

“You two know each other?” She’s fucking clueless. Of course she is, she could barely understand the nuances between you and Scott.

“Barber here is the DA.”

“What’s a DA?” You look at Scott instead of her. How could he not truly explain his career with his fiance? She truly is a clueless ditz.

“District attorney,” Audrey giggles. She does a little dance in between the four of you, oblivious to an odd pisisng contest between Andy and Scott.

“Oh, so you’re like a lawyer?”

Andy’s grin is so condescending as he looks at Scott, his brows raised a bit. Her age shows with more than just her looks, “Yeah, I’m the chief prosecuting officer. I’ve been in court against Scott a few times.”

“So you’re like the bad guy?” Scott presses his hand on his temple in annoyance, and Andy just shrugs. You hope he enjoys every stupid conversation with her.

“Depends on who you think the good guy is.”

“Andy wants to become a judge,” Audrey adds. Smiling up at Andy as she does so. She lifts her hands up to you, and you pull her up in your arms, even though Scott clears his throat. You dare him to tell you not to hold her, ‘she’s too big to be held.’ She’ll be held if that’s what she wants.

“The man with a hammer! That’s really neat,” neat? This girl was meant to only be a babysitter. You seriously question the fact that Scott has this woman helping him on his weekends. Who is having questions that a child would be asking.

Audrey giggles again, “It’s not a hammer, silly goose, it’s called a gravel.”

“Gavel,” Scott can correct his daughter, but not his grown fiancé, “Baby,” Scott clears his throat again, leaving Taylor to smile awkwardly at him. I guess he found a woman that will pick up on his clues for behaving, unlike you… “It’s their — her weekend to have the kids. And how and who she chooses to spend her weekend with at this time is her prerogative.”

“Andy has been the only person sharing our weekends with us. But you two have a great time. I’m sure you’ll get lots of photo opportunities for instagram,” her genuine smile makes you feel bad for making fun of her interest in posting aesthetically pleasing photos. She’s young, that should be what she’s doing. Not becoming a stepmom. And yet your care also just wasn’t there.

“I know! They have these amazing caramel apples. Want to see my pictures? Oh!! The kids will love them. They have some with pecans and chocolate, and one with walnuts and…”

“Suede can’t have walnuts,” Audrey interjects. Frowning as she looks at her. “He could die!”

“Oh, that’s right. Little nugget. No matter. The food they have here is amazing!”

“She usually packs Suede lunch. He has to miss out on food at places like this a lot,” yeah. That’s your cue to leave. If Scott wants to point out Suede’s differences and how he might not get to experience things like others, you didn’t have to listen to it. Suede’s lunches were a just in case type of thing, and you always made them fun for him!

“Well, you two have fun. Tell daddy ‘bye’, guys,” Audrey responds quickly, blowing him a kiss, but Suede won’t look at him. “Suede, tell daddy, bye. We’re going to go to the kids’ playground, and you and Audrey can run around until it's time to eat!”

“Bye, daddy,” Suede doesn’t lift his head, and barely even looks at Scott, but he waves his hand, and drops it back to Andy’s chest. His fingers gripping onto his shirt, like if he lets go that Scott can pull him off Andy. Now to grab the stroller again, and let the kids get out some energy. You try to not see Taylor as much as possible, and this is the reason why. She infuriates you.

—

“How are you feeling?” You and Andy sit at the picnic tables, while the kids play. You squint in the sunlight, keeping your eyes on them, when you really wish you could give Andy your undivided attention.

“I’m fine. I just hate that he doesn’t see how controlling he is. How he doesn’t see that he is just using Taylor as a way to make himself feel more like ‘the man’. She’s easy to control because he’s significantly smarter, and experienced in life. And he makes the money, so she shuts up and deals with it, until she’s tired of his tyranny, and most likely move onto a man that won’t have to pay child support and alimony.”

“You got all that with the interaction, too?” Peeking over towards Andy, you nod your head. “Does he really think she can be a safe option for your kids? She couldn’t even remember Suede is allergic to walnuts?”

“And she shouldn��t have to, and yet, here we are. The only thing I blame Taylor for, is the fact she was well aware that we were married. She babysat them while we went on dates. I think they both suck for that. But,” you turn your eyes away from them as you smile up at Andy. “I should thank them. We’d been in Newton for a few years now, and you were always right there. Had I met you before now, I might have been the one cheating. No, I definitely would have,” Andy leans in for a chaste kiss.

Your hand rubs up his chest, holding the kiss a few moments longer. The disintegration of your marriage is so layered. What killed you that day is the one thing that set you free. But admitting that had you known Andy was right here, you would have been the one cheating is liberating. He was always the one, and always worth it.

You revel in this moment of comfort. Hearing the sounds of kids playing in the early fall weather. It’s just happiness. Pulling off Andy, you gaze up at the most amazing man you have ever known, and know that there’s no way to explain just how much he means to you.

And of course happy moments have been short lived for some time. Suede’s blood curdling scream hits you first, and you jump up. Scanning the play area when you see his feet stomping around. Holding out his hand, while Audrey swats at something. Andy and you sprint over towards him, and you know something is worse when his cries change. It’s a sound you have never been able to get out of the depths of the darkest places in your mind.

“Andy, my bag. Get it fast,” tears blur your eyes, but you’re on autopilot going over to him. Picking up both kids and getting away from a swarm of yellow jackets, and you set both down, kneeling on the ground. Suede’s breathing labored, and his cries are completely gone as he struggles for air.

His mouth opens and closes, and no sound comes out of him. His airways cut off, while tears pour from his bloodshot eyes. Your sweet angelic baby turning into a nightmare before your eyes. Visions like these haunt you. Your worst fears materializing.

“Andy!” Audrey cries up at you, and you start undoing Suede’s pants, the pen working better without a barrier. Andy drops to his knees beside you, and you reach in for Suede’s EpiPen, pulling out the separate pouch, so it’s easy to grab. “Hold her,” you can’t handle her own tears when your only focus is oxygen to Suede.

Suede’s face gets all blotchy, the color changing with the lack of air, and you press the pen in his leg. Counting the seconds it takes for his airways to clear, and he looks so scared as that first strangled breath is inhaled. “We gotta go to the ER. Buddy, hey baby, just keep looking at mommy,” you wipe away the tears that stain his face. “It’s okay, baby. Andy is going to get us to the ER, okay?”

“Mama,” his voice is the sweetest thing right now. Even if it’s difficult for him. Even if everywhere on his body is swelling. “My mama,” how many times did those fucking beasts sting him?

“Yeah, baby, mommy is right here. Andy and sissy are getting everything, and we’re going to make sure my baby is okay?” You are already making your way to the parking lot. Andy can handle Audrey and the stroller, you just want your baby out of the crowd, and away from all the people asking if he’s okay. It’s just you and him. He needs to just see you.

“Mommy?” Audrey meets you in the parking lot, and hugs both your legs. “Can you sit in the back with us?”

“Yes, sweetheart. Did you get stung, too?”

“Just once, but Suedey had them all around him. I couldn’t get them away.”

“My brave strong amazing girl, you did amazing. You showed no fear when it came to yourself and bubba. You did perfect, baby, and I’m so proud of you,” she knows you’re upset with a steady flow of tears running down your face and dripping to your neck, but she hugs you back nonetheless.

“Alright, come on,” Andy helps Audrey into the car, buckling her up, and you shudder to think you have to put Suede out of your arms. You just want to hold him, so you can feel his breathing. “Doe, honey, if you want to hold him, you can get in the third row. Never feel bad about it.”

“You’re sure?” You rarely question what you’re doing as a mother, but right now, hearing that it’s okay has relief rushing through your body. The adrenaline finally subsiding, and your fear spikes. You’re so exhausted, but the thoughts of putting your son in his car seat is making your heart race. The fear of seeing him like that can never be erased. Add that to the fucking list of allergies that he has to endure.

“Of course, honey. Let’s get him to the ER. Here, I’ll hold him, while you get in. Just make sure to hold Audrey’s hand, okay?” You nod as you hand Suede to Andy. Knowing how much harder this would be if you were alone. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay because it has to be.

It’ll be okay.

He’ll be okay.

They’ll be okay.

You don’t even matter anymore.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai

@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989

@pandaxnienke @kmm-fluv @rogersbarber @theinheriteddutchess @buckybarnesisdaddy

[writingoddess1125]

hiii, could you do a Sanji x reader in which the reader has an eating disorder and Sanji's food is the only one that the reader eats and when Sanji discovers this he tries to take more care of the reader's diet?

(I love your writing, it's so good)

So this does hit very close to home for me and it both made me feel good and cry while writing this.

I did twist this a bit as well, but I hope it's still okay!

I also made this GN since this can happen to Anyone.

Warmth

⚠️Warning: ⚠️ Mention of ED, issues with food and body issues.

Please support me in Ko-Fi

"It's called Shio Ramen, it's a lighter form of ramen made with a much gentler broth. It's not as heavy as normal ramen and doesn't have as much oil" He said calmly, watching your eyes look over it.

You should have realized he had been watching you- from the very beginning you should have known that the Nosey Chef would catch onto you sooner rather then later.

You had always loved food, but you felt like it just.. didn't love you in return. Especially when it was used as a weapon by your loved ones.

From people pushing that 'You're just picky' or 'Just wanting to look a certain way' since you were young at your... aversions. It all starting with your family and the lack of control you felt over your life... it had been a way to control something- even if it was as small as food and how you wanted to look physically.

You had been on the brink of self destruction when the Strawhats arrived on your island home, of course their swirling of chaos following them-

Needing a Barber for their crew, so you jumped at the opportunity to join them; running away from the shackles of your home and the onces youd once called your family to new adventure and freedom.

However some shackles still remained..

It had some weeks, close to a month on board the Strawhat Ship before you even ate Sanji's food, passing your plate to Liffy who would eat it up or not showing up to meals at all-.

If you did he'd often making you bowls which you would take single spoonfuls of before not taking more- eating only when you were sure no one was around and what you had been used to, if you decided at all.

But as time passed, you did gradually eat more of his cooking- trusting him more as you wouldn't skin meal times or take single bites anymore, while it tasted good- you always felt that anxiety rise up eventually..

You should have known he would have seen this all.. noticed your actions and ways. Planning his next move-

Which took place on a sleepy late afternoon.

Sitting in your quarters you were trying to read a book Nami had let you borrow, but your mind just kept drifting off in a daze as you watched the sea pass you by- as well as the memories of the past invading and poking your mind.

A soft knock snapping you from your whirlpool of thoughts as you look up to see Sanji, calmly staring at you. His coat off and only in a button-down, his nice pants and freshly polished shoes a unlit cigarette placed perfectly on his lip as he smiled softly at you.

"Hey (Y/N)- follow me for a sec?" He asked, you of course nodding as you rose and followed behind your peer down the corner- being lead right to the kitchens.

Anxiety hitting your chest then as he motioned for you to seat on one of the island benches in the kitchen.

Sitting down you nervously look at the chef as he calmly walked around to the stoves on the otherside of the island countertop.

You assuming he was going to scold you for not eating or put you on blast...

"How do you like it on the ship so far?" He asked innocently as he began to grab a pot. There ge had you watch him as he cooked- You watched the ingredients he picked, how he washed his hands with every step asking what things were to your taste which he cleverly hid in casualy conversation...

It was actually fun to watch, the care and time he put into cooking and talking to you- Truthfully it had actually started to look delicious and smell good as well as you watched him pour a light broth over Fluffy noodles you'd watch him make by hand.

Not a word had to be said after that, Instead he sat next to you calmly with his own bowl and began to silently eat. Tears welling in your eyes as you grabbed the spoon and took a sip of the hot broth- Warmth filling your stomach and chest- finally that cold anxiety started to ease away as the soft flavors of the warm Shio Ramen filled your senses.. like a blanket beging placed over your shoulders... it was just what you needed... what you'd always needed.

"You want to try some?" He asked, getting a hesitant nod from you. He smiled softly, setting the already prepared bowl infront of you before making his own.

Sanji glanced at you and held out his handkerchief to you, At first confused before realizing salty tears were rolling down your cheeks. Accepting the gift you cleaned up your face and set back into eating, smiling softly to yourself as you did so.

It finally felt like... someone cared- And what more could you ask for?

Maybe a second helping?..

[delusinalandpassionate]

SUUUPER long ask sorry.

What I find so fascinating is that, everyone, whether dante or her family, display her as this “prideful,” and having this “self importance,” that puts her above everyone. But, every memory we get of her is undoubtedly soft or full of, usually, love. You could say this is because of her natural softness with Quixote, but, she’s shown to be this way with Bari, too! She’s shown to pity the bear and even Dante later on. Faust informs Dante her level of agression then was because of Cassetti’s taboo and not a general read of her character. Even in Barber’s and Priest’s narration, she does enforce them, yes, but it’s always never something “prideful,” whispering at Priest he missed a line, and apparently watching over Barber, which leans into OUR Don’s and Sancho’s habit of acting like she.. isn’t apart of the world. (Giving her Gubo makes so much sense, on several levels, but especially Dongbaek accusing Gubo of acting like they aren’t one of them. Dongrang’s “you don’t need to keep acting like a guest.”) The sinners affirming she never, ever talks about herself, much rather sharing and wanting to hear OTHER’S stories. She’s always felt distant from the sinners, even more so than those “emotionally closed off,” like Outis, and that’s because she doesn’t let anyone in. And it seems she’s always been that way. I mean, she was willing to completely erase who she was in efforts to live someone else’s story. Even meta wise— she isn’t even the protagonist! She’s the person who watches the hijinks occur. She does not own this identity or story, she’s manually removed all her agency and autonomy. Something she ultimately did because of loathe of herself and love of someone else. Dante doesn’t want Don to face herself because it means they’d have to face her. Despite, how frail she seems, how even warm I’d say Vergilius sounds making the deal with her, her talk about “watching over Hong Lu,” with the implication that to just be there and try, and how that’s being taken from her, even now, because no one can seem to accept her, but Quixote. She can’t even accept herself. She’s someone who longed for family and love, but the entire world seems sure on seeing her as something prideful, evil, terrifying— and even as a human she was a one dimensional annoyance at worst. I wonder if she truly loved her family, the sinners, but was still unable to convey that? Did they read her wrong? Was she always prideful and distant? Or was she scared of not being loved? Is she truly that terrifying or has she learned to harden herself up to keep things in order for her helpless master? Has she taken up the burden of being the “bad guy,” to ensure he gets all he wants on a silver platter? The dichotomy of love in their relationship and what is ultimately terrifying, a lack of autonomy to even live her own life, be his ideal instead, simply on pretense he’s the only person to ever love her. Someone she cannot deny, quite literally, all for him.

THANK YOU FOR LONG ASK, I'm glad to see people to be that passionate about Don!

And I like the idea of her being less prideful but rather distant, which creates a feeling of arrogance. And I agree that most of her memories are full of love, just I think all of her love reserved to Don Quixote.

About Bari, she seems rather suspicious about her and flashbacks and agrees to her company only because of Don Quixote. You could argue using last Sanson play, but we still don't have a confirmation about who we're spoken here yet.

About Bear...I don't think it was piety, more like pragmatism.

About Dante... yeah, she looked at them as they were pietful it makes me wonder why...

About Cassati...well, . She's honoring this taboo, but this taboo is rooted in hierarchy in which she is much higher than Cassati, and if she believes in importance of taboo, she should believe in the importance of her status. We can compare it's to Don Quixote, who is letting Sancho ignore lines between their statuses while she calls Cassatti all insults possible.

And when I made point about her correcting Barber and Priest, it was not about pride, but more about their discomfort around her.

But I adore the idea of Sancho being an observer and the idea that she does not fit in and that she's not even trying. I thought a lot about Gubo's identity as a traitor in this story and how it paints Don, but him being never "one of them" now makes a lot of sense.

And with that, I think Sancho's problem is not even with thinking that everyone is unimportant. It's more like there is no one as important as Don Quixote, and that includes herself.

In a way, Don Quixote made a great thing becoming her family, but at the same time, he became the center of life, even if by accident.

Maybe she became a "bad guy" to make sure his dream will happen. But it still centering one person and his happiness while ignoring pleas of others. Sancho may not be purposely cruel, but she was ruthless archiving whatever Don Quixote wanted.

And that's why I think that her life as "Don" gave her a new perspective. Or understanding. About Don Quxote and most important about herself. She had a chance to have a life that wasn't centered around one person(she just didn't remember it was), learn other kinds of joy, and create relationships.

It's interesting that Dulcinea said that Sancho's eyes once were bright and starry until cold disinterest settled in them. And that means that from the beginning, there was something in her that could be Don Quixote.

[twiigbranch]

i really enjoy how many character memories are in ch44 of the silt verses... carpenter remembers the barber temple as something nice someone told her about. hayward brings up how "country people take their gods too seriously", and then admits that he thinks about finch "all the time". faulkner brings up his and rane's conversation about being chosen, and obviously there's his final monologue about his family and drowning charlie... these characters are all so impacted by their experiences, i think it's really special

[ladykailitha]

The Eddie Munson Guide for Dating an Oblivious Jock Part 3

Sorry this is taking me longer than normal, I’ve had major cramps the last three days that have knocked me for a six.

Part 1 Part 2

*

Step Five: Flirting

“Shouldn’t you be doing that the whole time?” Max asked.

Eddie shook his head. “Not really. With the low self-esteem they’ll only get flustered and angry. And that’s the last thing you want. It’s why flirting with Steve in the Upside Down didn’t work. He was only confused and upset.”

Max nodded. “So how do you flirt?”

Flirting is an art that can be hard to learn because was works on one person might not work on the next. Pet names are a good place to start, compliments are always a win, but with that you have to be careful not to compliment something they’re insecure on.

“What do you mean?” Max asked.

“Say they think they’ve put on weight,” Eddie explained. “And you compliment their figure, depending on the person, their mood or who they’re around they might take offense to it.”

“So complimenting their looks is a no-no?” she asked.

Eddie shook his head. “Stick to things they can choose,” he said. “Like a new shirt that looks good on them, if they’ve gotten a new hair cut. Their shoes.”

She nodded. “I can work with that.”

Eddie walked into Family Video and stopped short. Steve was wearing a tight grey Henley and his hair was shorter on the sides then he usually kept it.

“Looking fine today, pretty boy,” Eddie said flouncing up to the counter where Steve was putting together member card applications for Keith to review later.

Steve blushed, running his hands nervously through his hair. “You think it looks okay?”

Eddie reached over and tugged a lock so that draped in front of Steve’s face dramatically. “You are totally rocking it.”

He straightened up. “Me and Will went to the barber yesterday because he wanted to try something new and well...”

Eddie softened. “And you didn’t want him to feel nervous about it so you got your hair cut, too.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re a good dude, Stevie,” Eddie said, wrapping his finger around the loose lock of hair.

Steve blush deepened and reached his ears. “You’ve never called me ‘Stevie’ before.”

“You like it?” Eddie asked, leaning further into his space.

Steve nodded. “It sounds sweet coming from you.”

“Holy hell!” Max exclaimed. “He’s totally had the hots for you.”

Eddie smiled at the memory. “Yeah, but he didn’t know it at the time. He had just realized he liked boys, too. It was still too new for him.”

“Must have been scary, too,” Max agreed.

In addition to compliments and pet names, once you’ve figured out what they like add a little touch to your flirting. Nothing overt. Don’t be grabbing his ass right off the bat. Save that for when you’ve finally bagged your jock and are dating them.

They were watching Thirteen Ghosts at Eddie’s and were sitting next to each other on the sofa.

“The special effects are a little goofy on this one,” Steve said. “It makes it hard to be scary.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed, leaning into his space. “But the story is good and you can see why it might have scared audiences at the time.”

Steve chuckled. “I guess.”

Eddie patted his knee. “I’m going to grab another beer, you want one?”

Steve smiled at him. “Sure.”

Eddie used his knee to stand up and he could feel Steve’s eyes follow him. He came back with two bottles and popped both their caps with his rings on his left hand.

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Handy that.”

Eddie grinned. “Says the man who’s strong enough to pop the caps without any aid.” He handed the bottle to him.

Steve blushed and took a sip. “Brawn over brain I guess.”

Eddie bumped his shoulder into Steve’s. “Hey, now. I thought we were past that bullshit talk of you not being smart.”

Steve ducked his head. “I know, I know. Interest not intelligence. But some times it’s hard when people still in high school are light years ahead of you.”

Eddie paused the movie and grabbed Steve’s hand. “Hey, sweetheart.” Steve looked up. “I get it. You’re talking to Mr Three-Time Super Senior here. But no one dogs on my intelligence.”

Steve frowned. “I never thought of that. I guess it is weird that it’s only me.”

“It’s why I’ve been training them out of it,” he said seriously. “It’s not fair that literally no one else gets that kind of treatment. Not even Argyle and Jon get called dumb.”

“Huh,” Steve said. “Yeah. Okay. I’m going to start calling them out on it, too.”

“You do that, babe,” Eddie said.

Steve’s smile was incandescent. “Thanks, Eds. You’re the best.”

“Only for you, Stevie.” Eddie murmured. “Only for you.”

“That was a lot of touching,” Max said. “Does it have to be that much?”

Eddie shook his head. “Just do feels natural. I like touching Steve arm when we greet each other and then giving it a squeeze. It signals I’m happy to see him without everyone else cottoning on to the fact I’m flirting.”

Max nodded. “What about hugs?” she asked.

“That’s the next step,” he said. “You’ve got to start small and build up to those kind of touches. Because the light touches are flirting. The bigger ones? That’s signaling intent.”

Step Six: Touch

Now that you’ve been flirting with your jock and initiating touches, they should be comfortable with the idea of touching and receiving your touch. So start to go a little bigger. Lingering touches, pressing on their lower back when you both walk to the door. Holding on to their hips as you squeeze past them in the kitchen. And of course the ultimate touch hugs.

“Wouldn’t the ultimate touch be sex?” Max asked.

Eddie blinked. “Says the girl that thought cuddling was gross.”

She blushed. “I mean, it’s all gross right now, but we are going to get to that point sometime in the future, right?”

He shrugged. “I guess. Everyone goes into sex at their own speed. Some never have sex or even want to. It’s whatever works for you.” She frowned, frustrated. “Look, sex is great. But trust me when I say rushing into it is a bad plan. Also doing it outside a committed relationship is fine, lots of people enjoy that. But sex with a partner is...for me anyway, better. You get time to explore your likes with theirs and meeting in the middle. But like I said it varies from person to person.”

Max sighed. It wasn’t the cut and dried answer she was looking for, but then again, nothing in life ever was.

“So hugging?”

“Yeah, hugging.”

Eddie showed up early for D&D like he always did, but instead of grabbing Steve’s arm like he had before, he hugged him. He expected it to be a quick thing, you know. Since he had surprised him and all.

It wasn’t.

The second Eddie went in for the hug, Steve’s arms were wrapped around him and pulling him in tight. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Steve took a step back, mumbling an apology.

Eddie gripped Steve’s arms and leaned back so he could try and see his expression. It was closed off and guarded.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he cooed. “You okay?”

Steve nodded. “I guess I needed a hug more than I thought.”

Eddie frowned at that. Steve was always giving hugs to Robin and the kids. Hell even the other adults got Stevie hugs, Jonathan, Argyle, and Nancy.

Oh.

Oh.

“You know you can hug me anytime you need it, don’t you, Stevie?” he murmured running his hands up and down Steve’s arm.

Steve looked up at him with such awe and wonder, that it made Eddie’s heart ache.

Steve surprised him a second time by immediately launching himself into Eddie’s arms for another hug.

Eddie let his hands wander. One cupped the back of Steve’s head, while the other slid down to the small of his back. He buried his head into the crook of Steve’s neck.

“Hey,” he whispered. “I can cancel D&D if you’re not up to hosting. Or even move it elsewhere.”

Steve let out a whine at the latter suggestion. “No, no. I want you here.”

“What the fuck?” Max practically roared. “Was he okay?”

“It came as a shock to me, too,” Eddie admitted. “I talked to him about it later and he told me that he wasn’t if he was allowed to hug me because of me being gay.”

“That makes no sense,” she said firmly.

“He didn’t know what the line was,” Eddie explained. “Because with girls you only hugged them if you were dating or really good friends. Argyle is a natural hugger and initiated the first hug so he knew that okay. Nancy and Jonathan were already at that level of affection.”

“But he didn’t know how to initiate it with you?” Max asked, a slow understanding dawning on her face.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “Once I hugged him, it was like a levy breaking. He amped up the affection to eleven.”

“Okay,” Eddie said. “I’ll be here.”

Once everything was set up and everyone had arrived, Eddie called them over. “Steve isn’t feeling good today, so we are going to be respectful little shits and try and keep the noise down to a dull roar, is that understood?”

Everyone nodded.

“Good.” He turned to Steve. “If you need anything let me know, otherwise you just rest, okay?”

And without asking if they were in combat they all took turns checking in on Steve, most of them found him asleep, passed out on the sofa. But when Mike peeked in, Steve was sitting up, but he his arms wrapped around his knees and staring off into space.

He immediately ran for Eddie. Eddie stood up and quietly walked to the front room. He knelt on the floor in front of Steve and began rubbing his calves. After a moment, Steve came out of his trance.

“There you are, sweetheart,” he murmured.

“Oh, are you guys done?” Steve asked, moving back so that he could place his feet on either side of Eddie.

“Just taking a break,” Eddie said with a shake of his head.

“Oh,” he said again. “Do you guys need anything? Snacks, drinks, lunch? I could make sandwiches.”

“We’re good, Stevie,” Eddie asked, his hands now on Steve’s knees. “I’m a little worried about you, though.”

Steve ducked his head. “It’s nice having people here. It’s nice having you here.”

“We could move our monster fest night over here if you’d prefer that?” Eddie asked.

Steve shook his head vigorously. “I like going over to your place. It’s homey.”

“Homey, huh?” Eddie teased gently.

“Warm, comforting...safe.”

Eddie surged up and grabbed Steve, pulling him into a hug. “Then you’re always welcome.”

Steve sighed into his embrace. “Sorry I’m so needy today.”

Eddie leaned back and cupped his cheek. “I want you to need me, Stevie. So if you get like this. Call, come over, send out of the cavalry to find me. I don’t care, just let me in.”

Steve nodded. “I promise.”

Eddie stood up. “I’ve got to get back. Why don’t you join us? Not in the campaign, just pull up a chair and watch.”

Steve’s face grew the most beautiful and heartfelt smile it cracked something in Eddie’s chest wide open.

He knew that he would never love someone as much he loved Steve. And with any luck (and with every indication) Steve felt the same.

“You know, all I’m hearing with this one is holy hell Steve needs all the hugs in the world,” Max cursed.

Eddie laughed. “Something like that. I think we forget, even you and I whose families and home life have been shit, that’s Steve’s was, too. An abusive and toxic father and a distant and neglectful mother. Even if he never hit Steve, emotional abuse is still abuse.”  

“I think I’m going to tell the rest of the party to start initiating hugs with Steve more often,” she said. “I think we forgot somewhere along the line that he’s been through the same hell we’ve been through only a way more active a participant.”

Eddie laughed. “I think he’d like that. A lot.”

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @this-is-mycrisis @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @artiststarme @steddie-there @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @thebrazilianatheist @rozzieroos @whalesharksart @mightbeasleep @theotalksalot @avacrebs @sassysleeplord @exhibit-no-restraint

[epinebleue]

i can fix him (no really i can) (m) (chibs telford) | 03

“You’re not stupid, Eloise, just a whore.” Ellie looked into her mother’s eyes, the ghost of a smirk on her lips. A shiver ran down Gemma’s spine. It had been so long since seeing her reflection in her youngest child that she had forgotten how much she hated it. “Well, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

pairing: filip “chibs” telford x eloise “ellie” teller (original female character)

genre: angst, fluff, mature.

chapter’s warnings: cursing, gemma being a bitch (what’s new), chibs (43) and ellie (24) having a moment...

author’s note: are we ready for the spice in the next chapter or what?

tag list: @daphnen21

chapter index | previous chapter | next chapter

Charming, 2008

Looking back, perhaps Eloise had been naïve to think she would never set foot in Charming again.

That vow had been made by a stubborn teenager, adamant to forget her last name and what it meant to carry it. For a while, she had kept the promise, and with the passing of years Charming became a fading memory of a time marked by heartbreak and sorrow.

But the phone had rung in the middle of the night, and a voice Ellie knew all too well traveled through the speaker. She could barely understand a word, the person on the line weeping and drunk. He was slurring his words, but she understood him nevertheless.

Wendy, overdosed, baby, prematurely.

Jax had asked to go back, and as much as she hated the world she had been born into, she would never abandon her big brother in times like that.

She couldn’t travel on the very same day, Ellie explained, as she had a life she would’ve to put on hold. She promised, and Jax believed her, that she would catch a flight as soon as she had everything figured out.

And just like that, Ellie found herself once again in the familiar streets of the town that had watched her grow up.

Charming had barely changed: the small shops her family frequented were still there, even the little barber shop her father was a loyal customer of. Ellie could still remember the smell of shaving cream and tobacco…

The knot in her throat tightened as the cab passed the repair shop with the sign “Teller-Morrow”. It was crazy to think she had given it the middle finger from the bus that would drive her off to a new life almost six years ago.

It wasn’t until Ellie saw the entrance of her childhood home that she struggled to breathe.

The exterior had been painted green and the steps had been fixed. Other than that, everything looked the same.

A boy with bright, blonde hair stepped out of the house and ran in her direction as she stepped out of the cab. The next thing she knew, Ellie was being crushed in her brother’s arms. She giggled, patting Jax’s patched back, the leather hot against her palm.

“You’re choking me, idiot.”

Jax didn’t let go. Neither did she. Maybe they hadn’t known how much they needed that hug right until then.

“Thank you.”

Ellie smiled fondly at her brother’s muttered words, which brought tears to her eyes.

Everyone thought her problems had been solved the moment she abandoned Charming, but she was still a young girl away from home, afraid of having taken the worst decision of her life as she tried to fall asleep in the most sketchy motel room she had ever seen.

She still needed her older brother and her mother. She even missed Clay, his frown, and even his authoritative tone.

She used to get in booths, hesitant. If she rang home, would they answer? If she asked for help, would they show up? She ended up hanging up the phone every time. The moment she heard Jax’s voice, she would beg him to pick her up.

Remember why you’ve done this in the first place, Ellie would tell herself, you’re better on your own, you’ve always been.

“Always.”

Jax helped Ellie unload her luggage from the taxi and, side by side, they carried the suitcases to the house.

“There she is.” The sole sound of his voice brought tears to Ellie’s eyes. There was Piney, sitting in a chair, his oxygen bottle right beside him. “My little princess Charming.”

The old man got up with a grunt, opening his arms big, and Ellie allowed herself to be engulfed by them. All of a sudden, she was twelve again and spitting venom against her mother and Clay, crying on the shoulder of the man she truly thought of as a father figure after the loss of her own.

“I’ve missed you.” Ellie said, her voice cracking. “So much…”

So many emotions in such a short period and jet lag wasn’t a good combination.

Clay got up from the armchair at the back of the room and locked eyes with her. Ellie wouldn’t be honest if she said she hadn’t dreamt of that moment a million times.

“You’re big.” He said, a strange spark in his eyes. Ellie swore she could see pride behind them. “And beautiful.”

“Thank you, Clay.”

For the first time in years, she stood in front of him as an equal. She wasn’t a rebellious teenager and he wasn’t an iron-fist stepfather anymore, just two adults with a history.

Ellie was an independent, grown woman who had made it.

And so, when Clay smiled at her, Ellie took it like a white flag waving in the air.

Gemma hadn’t changed a lot in six years. 

Her mother’s hair was pitch black and long when she left. It was shorter now, with yellowish-blonde stripes from the middle to the tips.

She observed Gemma from the door frame. It hurt that, after all those years, she had to be the one to come to her mother and not the other way around, like it should be.

But that was Gemma, after all.

“I arrived, mom.”

The woman finished stirring whatever was in the pot and covered it with a lid. Then, she turned around.

The last time Ellie had stared at those eyes, she was screaming she would leave town and never come back. Jax had told her to not be stupid, because where would she go at seventeen with no money? Gemma, on the other side, hadn’t said a word. She just stared at Eloise, her only daughter, as if she were just an annoying little girl throwing yet another tantrum.

“I heard you in the living room.” Gemma smirked and put one of her hands on her hip. “I thought I’d never see you again. What happened?”

Ellie frowned at her question, unable to process how soon her mother had launched an attack.

“Jax told me he needed me.” Only when her nails dug into the palms of her hands did she realize that they were clenched in a fist. Ellie quickly tried to calm herself down, inhaling and exhaling. “That’s what happened.”

“I guess you finally understand what it means to be loyal to your family.”

Ellie scoffed, narrowing her eyes.

“I find it hard to believe that you, out of all people, know what the word loyal means, mom.”

For a second, Ellie could see the shock in Gemma’s face. The woman nodded slowly, taking in her daughter’s words.

“You haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“I have.” Ellie straightened her back like she used to do when younger, ready to turn around and leave. “Your head is just too far up your ass for you to notice.”

Gemma was a terrible mom but an excellent cook.

Ellie sat beside Jax with a full stomach and a full heart. It was weird, being surrounded by her family again, especially when she thought that the friends she had made along the way would be the only family she knew from then on.

The rest of the club had appeared soon after she had arrived, carrying colorful balloons and “welcome home” signs.

And amid all the familiar faces, Chibs stood out.

He had hugged her, like everybody else. He had told her he was happy to see her, like everybody else.

Yet another proof that everything Ellie thought he felt for her years ago was a mere delusion fed by her teenage mind.

“Are you tired?” Jax leaned in to whisper when he saw her yawn.

“A bit.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take you to my place early.”

“Uhm, actually… I’m staying in a hotel.” Ellie hugged herself, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. “I’ve rented a room.”

Jax frowned at her. Ellie wondered if he was surprised or hurt.

“I thought the plan was to stay with me, at my house.”

“I’m just here to visit, Jax. I don’t want to interfere with your daily life.”

“Don’t worry, Jax.” Gemma said from across the table, holding her glass of wine close to her lips. She let out an obnoxious laugh. “We’re used to being frozen out.”

Ellie burst before she could even register what she was saying.

“Wow, you can’t keep anything to yourself, can you?”

“Drop it, you two.” Clay intervened, knowing exactly where the situation would go if he let it be dragged further. “It’s okay, Ellie. I can drive you later.”

The table fell silent. Ellie couldn’t believe she had just snapped like that again when she had been less than twenty-four hours around her mother. She thought she would be able to control her temper better than that. Had those expensive therapy sessions been completely useless?

“Dessert, anybody?”

Of course she would sweep anything under the rug like nothing happened, Ellie thought. The guests roared, accepting the treat, and a new conversation sparked among the club members.

Ellie took advantage of it to grab the pack of cigarettes and lighter from her purse, slipping away to the front garden.

The sun was setting, turning the world orange, and a gentle breeze was starting to spring up when Ellie lit up a cigarette. The door behind her opened and she turned around, startled by the noise, only to see Chibs walking down the steps and towards her.

In silence, he stood by her side and lit up his cigarette. Ellie let out a soft laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“How come every time I’m upset you’re the first one to come to me?”

Ellie observed Chibs from the corner of her eye. Chibs took a drag of his cigarette, a smoke cloud billowing out his mouth like a freight train through a small town.

“Guess some things never change, right, lass?” Chibs muttered, his thick accent coming through, as always.

“No, they don’t.” Ellie sighed, her eyes lost on the horizon, where the sun was beginning to give way to darkness. “Especially not in Charming.”

The shorter hair, the gray hairs beginning to show, and the beard seemed to add weight to his face. However, he looked as good as she remembered, as if time had turned him into a more attractive version just to torture her.

“We have a conversation pending.” Chibs suddenly said, his deep voice cutting through the air.

Ellie froze in place, horrified. If there was something she wanted to forget, it was that moment. The shame of that day had been too big to face it again.

“Oh…” She said, letting out the smoke slowly, trying to control her breathing. “I thought you wouldn’t remember.”

“When a young girl kisses you, runs away and disappears for six years… you don’t forget it, believe me.”

Chibs’ eyes were fixed on Ellie, a mix of nostalgia and something else she couldn’t quite decipher behind them.

Ellie looked down, playing with the cig between her fingers. Her stomach hurt and she had the urge to throw up.

“It was stupid of me to do what I did.” She muttered, unable to utter the word kiss. “I was upset.”

Chibs observed her for a while in silence, as if measuring his words. “Was that all?”

Ellie felt the air tighten in her chest. She thought she had finally learned not to wish for the impossible. But she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more behind his question.

“Should there be more?”

No reposting or translations allowed.

© epinebleue 2023-2024

[werkthenerk]

What if...? (Pt 2)

What if, in some universe, X-23 (Laura) was only six-years-old when Wolverine met her, and he actually raised her instead of letting her find her own way? If you haven't seen my first post, you can catch it here <-

Kurt is “Vati”, Logan is “Dad”, and Victor is “Papa”. 

Laura has so many nicknames: Kid/Kiddo (Logan), Haschen/Liebchen/Schatz/etc (Kurt), Cub (Victor).

As she becomes open to meeting people outside of her immediate family, she bonds with Gambit, who becomes the “Fun Uncle” figure. They like to cook together, and spend a lot of time in the kitchen with one another. 

At first, Remy finds it hard to not mourn the “original” version of Laura. Memories of going on missions, riding motorcycles, and the closeness they shared have to be put into perspective. 

Remy also spoils Laura rotten, much to the dismay of Logan and Kurt; Victor is the same way with her.

Rogue teaches Laura about confidence and standing up for herself. Laura very much admires Rogue, and how strong she is. 

Rogue takes Laura to get her hair done properly for the first time, especially since Logan usually insists on barbering her with his claws. 

Laura loves stuffed animals. Her favorites are a ragged old “Bamf” doll that Kurt found in the back of his closet, and a sabretooth teddy that Victor got her for her first birthday with them. 

Laura co-sleeps with her parents sometimes, curled in the middle of all three of her dads. Someone often ends up falling out of the bed, mostly because Laura sleeps like Logan, spreadeagle with limbs flopped in all directions. 

Laura snores like Logan as well, if not louder. 

[fae-only-reblogs]

My Little Nightmares headcanons

This is probably messy to read I apologize! Remember these headcanons are just for fun & while some of them might have roots in canon they are ONLY headcanons! ❤️

The sound of Nightmares 🎧 (TSON)

- Sisi & Otto were foster kids adopted by the same family (no biological relation)

- I don't personally think Sisi/Cici is Six but I lean of her being the RCG from VLN

- Sisi could be an entirely different character to begin with

- Noone is blonde

- Children in the Waking world are still super small just as in the games

Very Little Nightmares (VLN)

- the pretender has parents

- IF the pretender & RCG do have a time loop situation it's of the easiest to be broken

- RCG & The pretender are friends! Then eventually they'll become friends who are also girls and beyond that who knows!

- The pretender is porcelain but can still grow

- The pretender gave RCG the name Rain because children who enter the Nowhere eventually lose their memories from the Waking world.

- The pretender's parents are out on business, somewhere. Either in the pale city or some location from TSON 🎧

LN comics

- The long haired girl & the boy in green are siblings

- The hunched back girl has powers of some kind (shown off in the comics but unsure what kind of powers they are exactly)

- ⭐ refugee boy & his sister as well as the hunched back girl were born in the Nowhere (More on this in a bit)

Little Nightmares (LN)

- The Lady & Six are the same person (time loop)

- There were four previous ladies before the current one (Lady Six). But these four were different individuals filling a title rather than the same person completing a loop four different times!

- Lady 1 passed her powers to lady 2, from her to Lady 3, and I believe Lady 4 wasn't killed but sent to the flooded parts of the Maw to become the granny by Lady 5 (or the 1st version of her anyways)

- Lady 5/Adult Six & Six have been in their own time loop for quite awhile. Maybe it's because the Nowhere finds their time loop particularly entertaining or the supply of (misery/souls/meat/whatever else the Nowhere sustains itself off of) has been significantly more than what those past four ladies could provide it. Time loop = entertaining & or Time loop = efficiency.

- The Lady is close with the doctor, the teacher, the hunter, and the barber due to having their portraits hung around the Maw.

- Children can't permanently die & we'll just essentially respond unless 1 of 3 events occur: 1) The soul reaches a breaking point/corruption & just can't continue. 2) They get taken out by a power strong enough to perma kill them - the pretender's ability to just evaporate you completely as in VLN. 3) The Nowhere consumes them in one way or another

- The flashlight girl is the daughter of the Lady (Adoptive or biological)

- The flashlight girl's model is taller than Six & Seven's models so I think she's closer to her teenage years 13 years old

- Not many HCs on Runaway kid other than his 'name' is Seven & he's 9 years old

Little Nightmares 2 (LN2)

- Mono & the thin man are the same person (Time Loop)

- The Thin man is one individual rather than a role to be filled (like the Lady)

- The thin man is a TV show/Radio host

- Thin man & The lady still keep in contact somehow (I like the idea of messaging birds)

- The hunter is Six's adoptive parent

- Spoon girl & Lollipop kid are friends! She 100% protects him from the monster's every time

- Mono came from an orphanage that caught fire (based off the LN2 comics)

Misc

- ⭐ Non hostile adults exist in the Nowhere (Refugee boy comes from a village after all) These villages were probably formed by children who were able to grow up without becoming monsters or puppets to the Nowhere (The Lady/Thin man)

- The Nowhere probably isn't fond of anything that isn't misery so I think these villages could make deals with powerful entities or the Nowhere itself so that the entity gains something for protection (probably a child sacrifice- yeah....)

There's still more I can put here but that can come later once I've posted all my drawings I've been doing for my main blog! Thank you for reading!

[hoodreader]

the lynching/murder of Khaliifah Williams (Rest in Power & Peace ✊🏾🕊️)

transit, mundane, & political astrology ramble from a pro-Black + afro pessimist leaning astrology student. i’m still learning so take that into consideration when reading.

trigger warning: state sanctioned violence

it is with insurmountable sadness that i write this post regarding the recent lynching of Khaliifah Williams, a wrongly convinced Black man who was sentenced to death by the state of missouri/mike parson. after countless of calls, protests, marches, blockades, pleas from the victim’s family and the williams family, Khaliifah was murdered by this system.

i see his face and i see all of us. all of us black people!!! i see oldhead uncles, barber shops, corner stores. i see something so familiar. do not let this mourning be for nothing. arm urself with knowledge, community, and bravery.

i know i can’t physically hold a moment of silence with text, but please allow thirty seconds of quiet before clicking ‘Keep Reading,’ to simply honor the memory of another soul lost to this system.

read his poetry here: “Perspectives and Emotions��� by Khaliifah Williams, aka, Marcellus Williams.

On September 24, 2024 at 6:10 pm in Bonne Terre, Missouri, Khaliifah Williams was lynched by this system / Mike Parson.

1H in Pisces containing Saturn in Pisces Rx

a water sign shows emotional sensitivity. in a mutable modality, it shows that there is change coming. i feel Khaliifah is represented by Saturn in this chart, as saturn in the mundane chart represents the oppressed, isolated, imprisoned, dead, and poor or enslaved. i also personally ascribe race (and racial oppression) to saturn as well.

if u have any understanding of the USA prison system, it is derived from the abolishment of chattel slavery in the united states. when it was illegalized to own slaves on plantations, it was then only allowed within prisons, and so, black people became disproportionately imprisoned. thus… slavery persists. source.

communally, saturn in the mundane chart rules sadness, sorrow, depression, and disappointment in the public. as u can see, saturn is in a tight conjunction to the ascendant. the moment of his lynching was a moment of disappointment and misery to the people, as it became (once again) grimly bleak what the state of this nation is. i wonder if it functions as “the last straw.”

jupiter is the chart ruler here. and it’s actually quite interesting… while saturn is the signifier for the proliteriate, the poor, the enslaved, the imprisoned, and the marginalized… jupiter is the signifier of the bourgeoisie, the wealthy, judicial leaders, justice, and judgment. but not only that, it represents hopes and aspirations.

the ascendant being in a jovial sign shows hope & aspiration. but saturn Rx in pisces shows hope is misplaced. it shattered the delusion that the united states - of all governments - and the crooked people running this nation would suddenly gain a conscience. but the united states is devoid of that. mike parson is devoid of that.

saturn in pisces Rx and the recent partial lunar eclipse in pisces tells u to let go of ur delusions, especially with saturn telling u to let go of delusions regarding structure and hierarchy. yes, this is a sad moment, but the sign pisces is the last mutable (transitionary) sign in the zodiac cycle. there is an impending change.

we need to invest hope in ourselves instead of those who oppress us. when has an oppressor EVER given their victims the keys to free themselves?

“Nobody in the world, nobody in history, has ever gotten their freedom by appealing to the moral sense of the people who were oppressing them.”

— Assata Shakur

5H Cancer Moon conjunct Cancer Mars

the moon represents the common people, and with the moon conjunction mars (strong moon, weak mars), it can definitely be read as some form of defensiveness happening among the people. which i don’t blame. we need to defend ourselves. i interpret this as the response being heavily emotional, and the people feeling like they need to protect themselves and their sense of “homeliness.” in this case, the fifth house represents what is valued by the people, and here, it’s valued to protect itself.

8H Libra Sun

the sun represents rulers and leaders. i feel like the president is represented here, as we are nearing a presidential election. but also general leaders (of law). it’s weakened times three — in fall, in the eighth house (bad house), and it’s conjunct the south node (a malefic). it’s also harsh aspecting the moon (benefic, ruling over the people). the sun is not in a confident configuration, and i feel like that’s reflected in the people’s (moon) lack of confidence in the country’s ridership. there’s a lot of uncertainty. and this didn’t help.

the eighth house represents death, lack of control, fear, anxiety, psychological illness. with a weakened sun here, i wonder if someone judicial or presidential is going to die in response to this, or have declining health… delays in getting in office. or if there’s going to be a dramatic deconstruction of how the president/law is viewed due to radical change in belief of the general public. the south node (the headless body of the dragon) represents destruction in the mundane chart, and being in conjunction to the sun shows a destruction to the ruler/head. in libra, i wonder if the deconstruction relates to the USA’s part in imperialism/genocide/colonialism in sudan, the DR congo, haiti, palestine, and more. libra is the foreign affairs, venus rules giving/receiving, and the eighth house rules economic foreign affairs to the states. but i’m truthfully struggling to interpret this.

10H in Sagittarius, 10H lord Jupiter in Gemini

the tenth house is those in power or authority; the ‘rulers.’ in sagittarius, it shows that the authoritative figure is a judicial person (and thus, i think this what mike parson represented by). fire signs represent action - some possibly violent - and mutable modality again represents change.

i notice sagittarius is significant in the mundane charts of cultural events. for example, the death of george floyd had a sagittarius ascendant. and the january 6, 2021 chart also had a sagittarius ascendant. i wonder if there’s going to be another incited cultural action in response to this - or maybe that could be represented by all of the protests that had already happened in response to his sentence. it’s something that mobilizes the people.

i feel like because jupiter is in gemini — which is detriment for jupiter — it can be read as this lacking direction. the sagittarius sign is the archer, so it’s right on target. but gemini is scattered, & while the people may mobilize (sag energy, sag rules masses/gatherings & worldly affairs such as protests), they can lose sight of the objective thru being distracted. which is quite literally what happened with the 2020 Floyd/Taylor/etc. protests. and it’s interesting because there’s quite a few thematic overlaps between the chart of George Floyd’s death and the chart of Khallifah Williams’ death. i may or may not make a post on it. depends on my mood.

moving on though. since jupiter is read for optimism, a weakened jupiter in the invisible house supports the idea that this will be a time of confusion, distraction, anxiety, and pessimism. it’s expected that people feel hopeless in response to this.

11H in Capricorn, 12H in Aquarius, Lord in the 1H

there is awareness of how we bypass, deny, repress, or ignore reality. the twelfth house is how we are responsible for how we undo ourselves. i’m thinkinggg it may be readable as us thinking we were at the end/close to a resolution, but we are actually just beginning. same for the eleventh house lord in the first.

eleventh house is our alliances, our community, our communal goals & aspirations in the mundane chart. and i think it shows our (meaning anti-colonial radicals, i guess lmao) goal is to dissolve this system due to its violence. pluto is present in this house, retrograded and at the anaretic degree. pluto brings destruction and so does the anaretic degree. in capricorn, the destruction is to institutions, customs, hierarchies. it’s the tower card. the lord placed in the first house may signify that the power to manifest hope in placed in the hands of the people, not the government.

regarding the twelfth house, maybe it’s saying that naïveté and misplaced hope is how we undo ourselves. deluding urself into thinking voting, peaceful protests, or petitions will challenge hundreds of years of colonialism in this country. especially because of the 2020 protests. mfkas really thought that was revolutionary and it’s like no… it was cute and all i guess but that wasn’t revolution.

revolution can’t be planned or organized, and the eleventh/twelfth lord = saturn in pisces Rx shows that. i’m not saying that tomorrow mfkas gon go outside and start burning shit to the ground (although i wish they would). but hopefully… this death won’t be another forgotten name. i know he won’t be the last to get murdered to this system, but i hope we see this for what it is: it’s genocide, it is modern day lynching, it’s anti-black, & there is no justice in this justice system.

like i said, i don’t really post mundane or political astrology. but i’m trying to speak from my heart about something very sensitive to me. if there are any more seasoned mundane astrologers who can provide feedback, that would be helpful & even more helpful if they are also black.

the shit that happens in this world is so fucked up. we supposed to be using these tools (spirituality, divination, etc) to aid us because the colonialism we experienced was also spiritual warfare. like i said, as a black person this shit hit mad close to home so when i see another one of my people getting murdered to this system, i know it can be any of us. & that’s because the black body & black soul is disposable to this anti black world. so yea… #HellNaw #FuckMikeParson #FuckAmerica #FuckIsntreal #FuckEmAll

black power, HoodReader

[sarahrogersevans]

Oooh fluff where andy barber takes care of his new baby girl with his new wife, reader. jacob died here

Second Chance At Happiness- Andy Barber wife!xreader

Summary: Andy takes care of his new baby daughter with his new wife and still misses his son Jacob but gives his daughter and wife so much love and gets a second chance of happiness

Warnings: mild very mild spoilers of Defending Jacob series! Though barely anything mentioned, Fluff, angsty, flashbacks of memories, happy Andy, soft Andy, let me know if I miss anything

~Andy’s POV~

I couldn’t believe how lucky I got with Y/N and our daughter Lilly, after everything I went through in the past I wasn’t sure if I’d fall in love again let alone have another child but I honestly couldn’t be happier. Our daughter Lilly is now two years old and so beautiful just like her mom Y/N. Y/N saw me walk in after I got home from work and she brought Lilly over and said “Hi Andy welcome home! look honey, daddy’s home why don’t you go say hi to daddy while I go get dinner out of the oven.” “Hey Y/N my love and oh good hi pretty girl.” She handed me Lilly and I took her in my arms carefully and said “hi darling how are you doing today hmm? Were you a good girl for mommy today?” I kissed her cheek and we went to sit down and I handed her one of her toys while we waited for dinner to be ready.

Later after we all ate dinner together I read a bedtime story to Lilly and when she fell asleep I softly said “the end.. goodnight sweet girl I love you very much sweet dreams.” I pulled the blanket a bit more on her and turned off the light and went to bed and cuddled with Y/N for a bit.

Y/N laid her head on my chest and I put my arm around her and rubbed her back gently. Y/N said “I’m getting a little jealous of Lilly I think you might love her more than me.” She teased and winked at me and I chuckled and said “no way Y/N I love you both equally and I adore you so much babe you make me so happy but I do love our daughter a lot I can’t believe this is all real sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve this ..” I thought back to everything that happened with my ex wife and my son Jacob and I sighed sadly and Y/N knew everything that happened and she comforted me and said “hey shhh you deserve to be happy Andy I love you and Lilly does too ok? It’s gonna be alright Andy, we’re here and we’re not going anywhere I promise.” She smiled and kissed me softly and I put my hand on the back of her head and leaned in to kiss her more and I leaned my forehead against Y/N’s softly and I whispered “I love you and Lilly both so much I’m so thankful for you both I don’t know what I’d do without you honey.” Y/N and I held each other all night and no matter what happens I knew I’d do anything for my family.

During the night I had a nightmare and memories of the trial, the accident and the arrest and seeing my dad a few years ago came flooding back so I went to sit in Lilly’s room to check on her and I watched her sleep for a bit and just seeing that she was safe and asleep in her bed made me smile so much and I heard Y/N come in quietly and she rubbed my shoulders and kissed my head and said “nightmares again honey?” I nodded my head and hugged her tight and felt a few tears escape my eyes and I said “I love you baby I swear I will love and protect you both no matter what happens you both will always have me you both mean so much to me Y/N, I can’t lose you or Lilly..” Y/N kissed my cheek and whispered “shhh it’s ok Andy I know we love you so much and you won’t lose us ok? Lilly is safe and I’m here with you honey it’s alright it’s gonna take time but I promise you’ll be alright I’ll be right here helping you through this my love, I love you so much Andy I’m so glad I married you.”

That moment when Y/N said that I kissed her forehead and felt happy for the first time in a very long time and I knew this felt right.

Hi Luv! I hope this is close to what you wanted 😊💜xx enjoy!

Taglist:

@jessybarnes

@lokiandbuckysdoll

@sunshine-on-my-mind

[coffeecat1983]

If you're still doing the prompt list, could I request 56 with Mario and Luigi, Luigi being the one who can't hold still. Thank you!

P.S. I love your writing.

Aw, thank you! I hope you enjoy:

Prompt #56: “Would you just hold still?”

(Set in the Mario Movie-verse 2023)

A whimper and he was moving, head ducked down and hands over his ears at the snip of the scissors. The barber looked to Giovanni and gave a shrug. "Gio, you sure about this?" Luigi whimpered again when he heard his father sigh. "It's tradition, men in our family get their first professional cut at age six." A squirm again, Luigi dodging as the barber moved to take another clip. "Noise…" Luigi muttered, wiggling. "His mother can usually get a few snips in when he's in the tub, he's distracted by the water and his toys." Giovanni explained. "I'm not sure what we can do here, aside from taking him in the bathroom and running the sink." the barber commented. "If he can't stay still he could get hurt." Giovanni came over and coaxed Luigi to look up. "Luigi, you know the rules, you gotta stay still." A violent shake of the head. "Bad noise!" he insisted. Nearby, Giovanni's youngest brother was lost in thought as he remembered when he and Tony were kids. Kneeling, Arthur motioned for Mario to come over. "Hey kid, can you try something for me?" Mario nodded as he listened to his uncle's request. He stood back as Arthur placed a chair in front of the barber's chair. Stepping back he motioned for Mario to climb up. "Okay kid, like I told ya." Mario took Luigi's hands. "Hey Weege, 'member the statues at the park?" Luigi grew quiet, then gave a nod. "You an' me, we're statues, 'k? We gotta be super still because a kitty wants to sniff us!" Luigi giggled" "Kitties!" A buzzing was heard and Luigi grew tense until Mario whispered to him. "That's the kitty! He's purring! Stay still, 'k?" "Yeah!"

As the two pretended to be statues, the barber worked with the 'purring' razor to trim Luigi's hair. Giovanni shook his head and gave Arthur a look. "How the heck did you remember that trick, we haven't done that in ages." "Luigi's a lot like Tony, brings up a lot of memories." Giovanni watched his sons as they giggled about the 'purring kitten'. "Yeah, I guess you're right." he mused.

By "CC"

(Thanks for the prompt! Prompt game is here)

[royalsweetteaa]

Can you please do Cevans characters as Dads to a baby girl?

Yess this is so cute! 🥺

(For this HC, their daughters are 5-6 years old!)

Andy Barber

Andy is a very ‘practical’ dad. He likes to take the role of teaching and passing on things, - like teaching his daughter how to tie her shoes and show how to cook and make lunch so she can pack for school herself. Breaking communication barriers and acknowledging his daughter's feelings is something he does well and early on to ensure he has a healthy relationship with his baby girl.

He believes independence is important to teach his daughter so she won't let society tell her what she should do when she grows up. But of course, he finds it also important to remind her how family matters too, and that he and you (the mother) will always be there to guide her when she needs help.

Ransom Drysdale

Ransom spoils his sweet baby girl just like he spoils his wife; gifting his daughter pretty dresses and clothes, big playhouses and all the Barbies she can wish for. It’s hard to distinguish your daughter’s birthday and regular days.

He is very protective over his baby girl too. He knows boys can be ruthless, - he would know because he was a ruthless boy too, and if a boy dares make his daughter feel insecure at school, he will make sure they meet his wrath. Teaching in a parental way is something Ransom leaves to his wife, but sometimes he is able to use the right words to give his daughter the encouragement she needs.

Steve Rogers

Steve wants to show his daughter the wonders of the world, despite how dark it can turn. He is like a guardian angel to his baby girl; Always keeping her safe and making sure she feels safe while having exploring the world. Their special way of bonding is him writing letters to her, - their 'top secret way' of communicating with each other.

While Steve usually hides his vulnerability often, he makes an exception with his daughter (and his wife of course) so she can see him beyond the hero facade, - someone who is first and foremost her dad and human.

Johnny Storm

There's plenty of father daughter activities with Johnny. He practically takes his daughter with him all the time, - even at work. Johnny likes buying his daughter designer clothes so she can be the cool girl of her school, even if she's only 6. He was the cool kid of his time, and he wants his daughter's time to shine through.

Johnny will definitely show off his daughter by doing photo shoots with her, winning the hearts of the people. He claims his baby girl is the cutest thing in existence, and no one can be cuter than her. Giving his daughter self confidence is important to him so he can make her believe she can do anything as long as she has the passion for it.

Jake Jensen

Jake loves being involved in his daughter’s playtime activities. Jake’s back is reserved for piggyback rides with his daughter, and he will gladly carry her all the time because it’s not a hassle at all. He does not mind if she wants to put make up on him and play dress up, or have him at her tea party together with her stuffed animals. To him it’s all worth being made fun of by his teammates if he gets his daughter’s face to light up.

It's all about being present in more ways than one that means something for Jake. Being grateful for the moments taking place and the memories they create will be Jake's legacy to his daughter.

Ari Levinson

Ari adores his daughter, - always pouring attention into her during his free time because the least thing he wants to happen is for her to feel neglected or distance herself from him. His daughter can count on him actually listening when she has something new she wants to show or tell him.

He likes to point out similarities with his daughter, so they can have something special to bond over between them. Whether it being going to the beach to catch crabs or go pick blueberries in the forest, - it's an adventure to his daughter and therefore an adventure to him.

N/A: Thank you for the suggestion, anon! <3 Hope you like it!

Hearts & Reblogs are very appreciated! <3

[joannaliceevans-fanficblog]

Evermore: Part. 4

Warnings: Tissues are needed for this chapter.

Listen to this song, as you read this chapter:

Time McGraw Please Remember Me

Amazing Grace

I also wanted thank my babes @hollybee8917 for this wonderful Mood Board!

The room started to fill as family members and friends came to pay their respects to your husband. His friends in the Army, Sam and Rachel were present. Each one greeted you with hugs and sympathy. Your daughter, Chloe, was thankfully asleep in her stroller. In the background, were photo memories. In the table next to Ari, were the sentimental things. His beloved Boston Red Sox hat, car keys to his truck you hate driving, and a photo of your wedding. 

At this point, you did your best to be happy. You tried to fill your thoughts of the happy times with your husband. You always had good memories with Ari like the day you first met him when you were just a young girl at a birthday party. You were being picked on by a girl named Audry when you didn’t do anything. Ari came to your rescue and since then he along with Andy had become best of friends with you. 

There are so many memories that you can talk about and all of them made you smile. After the greetings were done, Andy went up the podium and everyone in the room took a seat. He cleared his throat and looked around the room, “Hello everyone, if you don’t know who I am by now, that’s okay. My name is Lieutenant General Andy Barber. Or just known as Andy. I’ve known Ari since we were both little kids. Our families would attend parties and we would sneak away to play legos. We went to the same elementary school, middle school, and High School. As kids, we both made a pact that we would join the military. He wanted to go to West Point and I wanted to join the Air Force. And we did.” 

Andy paused and wiped his eyes, “Throughout the years, we supported each other. I was there when he graduated from West Point and he went to my graduation at the Air Force. Ari was a man of great honor. He would do anything for anyone that he was close with, and he even got me out of trouble in our younger days. As I did the same. Ari had told me once that he fell in love and I looked at him, and I asked who it was. I didn’t expect him to say Y/N. I didn’t believe him at first, but when I saw them together one day, it came together. The love he had for her was so strong. When he told me that he was going to be a father, after trying for so long, I had never seen anyone so happy. But now, my best friend is gone. He died for this country and he died so that his daughter and his wife could have a better life. Ari, buddy. I’m going to miss you, your stubbornness, your obsession with beer and everything in between.” 

Andy then took a seat next to you. You took a moment for yourself before getting up.  

You’re normally not like this, but your hands start to shake. You're used to talking to large groups of people, a preschool teacher. You took a deep breath and let it out, “Hi everyone, I'm Ari’s wife Y/N Levinson. I’ve known Ari since I was a young girl. Our families went to the same parties, and we all went to the same school. I was younger than the two, but as Ari would tell me I was a monster when I got mad and I always act older than my age. Ari was a genuine, caring, and loving man. I knew that I was in love with him when I needed to be picked up from a friend's house. I was tipsy, and my boyfriend at the time had dumped me. Ari was in town from his deployment. He bought me food from McDonalds because I kept insisting that french fries are the best when piping hot. He took me back to his house and we sat on his rooftop. We talked all night and I ended up sleeping in the guest room in his house. He took care of me the next morning. He knew all the things I loved, and without me telling him, he knew exactly what I needed, when I was feeling down or when I was having a panic attack. His voice was always calming for me.” 

You paused, sniffed and wiped your eyes, “We married young, but that didn’t stop us. The times when he was gone for 6 months at a time were hard. Ari absolutely hated it when I ate on the couch. I was a messy eater and crumbs were always on the couch. His big GMC truck, that he would purposely block my car, so he would make me use it. Even when he knew that I hated that truck. So, in return, I would park his truck in the garage and leave my Outback behind it. He would call when he can. Emails were the only way I could get a hold of him when he didn’t have access to a phone. There were times when he surprised me by coming home early. If I could live in those times again. The last thing that Ari told me was that “Angel, I can’t wait to see you this Friday. I have plans for a vacation for us and Chloe. I love you Ms. Levinson.”

You paused and this time you couldn’t continue. You tried, but all that came out was gibberish. Holly and Andy came up to the podium and they both hugged you. You gave yourself a few minutes then you cleared your throat, “I don’t know what I will do now that you’re gone. Your baby girl will be without her daddy. But I promise you that she will not forget you. Rest easy, my Ari Bear. Sarge is waiting for you.” 

**

The next morning was the day that you were dreading. You didn’t get any sleep and Chloe was up the whole night just to add to the stress that you were already under. Your family, Andy, and Holly stayed the night so that you wouldn’t be alone. You found yourself up before anyone else and went downstairs to make yourself a cup of coffee. The house was quiet. You were used to it, but it’s different this time—empty, full of heartache, and without Ari. 

The moment you got to the kitchen, you smelt the scent of breakfast and coffee brewing. You walked into the kitchen to see Andy, Holly, your parents, and your extended family all around. Even Chloe was in her high chair, eating her breakfast. As you walked in, you stood there with all your emotions pouring out again. Andy looked up from his coffee and saw you. He immediately put his mug down and went to your side. 

“I know, I know-” Andy said, as he hugged you. 

You held onto him, and your mom went to your side as well, “Honey, I know it's hard and that’s why we are here to help you. You can’t do all this on your own.” 

Your mom said as you pulled away from Andy. You wiped your eyes and sighed. 

“I know, I’m just overwhelmed with emotions. I didn’t get any sleep last night, because Chloe wouldn’t go down and-”

“I know, honey, that’s why we all let you sleep in a bit more. Come have some breakfast, we can clean up here, while you get ready.” 

You sighed once more and let go of Andy. You then looked towards him and let out a giggle, “Um, sorry about your shirt.” 

Andy looked down and he smiled, “Oh don’t worry about it. It’s only a shirt. “ 

Despite everything that you're going through right now, a simple laugh warmed your heart for that brief moment. You wiped your eyes once more and then took a seat at the counter. Your dad handed you a cup of coffee and your mom placed down a plate of eggs, turkey bacon, hash browns, and two slices of toast with some butter. 

You didn’t feel like eating, but you had to. You haven’t eaten since lunchtime yesterday. You’re going to need all the energy for today.  

**

You sat on the floor of your daughter's room, as she laid down. She’s fresh from a bath and you were dressing her. A little black dress with white stockings and a black bow. 

“Who’s a pretty girl? Yes, you are!” You say, tickling her sides and she lets out a loud squeal. 

Once she was done, you scooped her up onto your hip, and hurried down the stairs. By the time you got downstairs, everyone was ready. Your mom took Chloe from you and you went to get her baby bag. You made sure that she had extra diapers, milk, snacks, and her food. Once you did, you placed on your shoes and were out the door. 

Locking the door behind you, you went to your Subaru where Andy was waiting along with your mom and Holly. Your dad and the rest of your family in another car. The drive would be an hour to get there.

“Are we going to the church first then to the cemetery?” Your mom asked. 

“Yeah, a private ceremony, then to the burial at the National Cemetery. Father Duncan will meet us there.” 

One Hour and 15 minutes later…

Andy entered the Massachusetts National Cemetery, where her extended family, Sam, Rachel and his platoon. The army guards, and along with the Army Band. It wasn't long, when the carriage pulled up. 

The moment you got out of the car, reality hit you again. You kept telling yourself this is a sick dream and you would wake up and your husband would be right next to you. But it wasn't. 

Your mom had Chloe in her arms, as you walked up to the carriage where Major. Sam was a Captain. Rachel. 

“Hi Sam,” you greeted him. 

Sam gave you a sympathetic smile and hugged you and to the same with Rachel. 

“How are you holding up?” Rachel asked. You let out a small sigh and tried not to cry. 

“I'm hanging in there.” You say. 

Before you could say anything else, Father Duncan came up to you and let you know that it was time. You turned around and the Hearse pulled up. 

The Army Honor Guard went into formation and marched towards the Hearse. As the casket was pulled out, you felt your heart tighten with pain. You watched as they marched towards the carriage. Once he was in place, you stood behind the guards. Amazing Grace from the bagpipes started and you marched on.