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novelconcepts · 4 years

Note

You saying more childhood AU is possible with the right prompt is just...

More Tess. All of the Tess. Tess the morning after the party, lives in my brain rent free. The teasing. The knowing looks. The Jamie and Dani being so in love and unashamed and also oops we forgot the roommate. And Tess being the wonderful person she is and not letting them get away with anything.

It’s the fact that they think they’re subtle, that really gets her.

Not that Tess is upset to find Jamie crashing with them the week following graduation. Of course Jamie is crashing with them. Where else would she go, now that Dani “it’s important to grow up and change and learn who you really are, or some such bull” Clayton has finally snapped up the hot gardener of her dreams? Honestly, if Dani let her walk out that door--especially after that first night, which, hello, gardener; these walls aren’t half as thick as they apparently think--she’d have forfeited all rights to sanity, and Tess would have no choice but to make her move instead.

No, she isn’t upset to find Jamie still here the following morning. Or at all. She loves Jamie. What’s not to love?

Honestly, so much to love. If she didn’t love Dani even more, she might have to really test the bounds of this friendship. Particularly when she opens her bedroom door to find Jamie--hair rumpled, dressed in a half-unbuttoned flannel and a pair of boxer shorts--at the kitchen counter. Like, warn a woman.

“Warn you about what?” Jamie looks blank, her hands prying open each cupboard with evidently-mounting disappointment. “You really don’t have any tea?”

“Warn a woman,” Tess repeats, hip-checking her gently out of the way and scrounging the supply of English Breakfast out from behind the stoner snacks. “Before you turn up in her kitchen looking all sex-rumpled. I haven’t even had coffee, Taylor, Jesus.”

Jamie blinks, taking the box from her hands. “O...kay. How was the rest of the party?”

“Not nearly as engaging as your night,” Tess informs her pleasantly, delighted when Jamie’s sleep-muddled expression lights up with embarrassment. “But an extravaganza in its own right all the same. Where’s my girl? I know you railed her into next week, but it seems bad manners to leave you to breakfast alone.”

“I didn’t--we--”

“Thin walls,” Tess sing-songs. “Like paper. Or, what, you’re English--parchment?”

“We have paper,” Jamie deadpans. Tess pats her shoulder, working around her to fill the kettle.

“Good fortune really does smile upon you. Ah! Sleeping Beauty arises!”

Dani, looking only slightly more functional than Jamie, is emerging from the bathroom with an expression that suggests she, at least, is very aware of the acoustics of their apartment. It’s so tempting to tease her about it--Dani has this truly adorable habit of looking like she might combust if pushed too far, the red of her face complimented nicely by the gold of her hair--but Tess figures some things can wait. Lord knows they’re going to walk right into it soon enough.

But like--so soon. Like, she goes off to take a shower, and comes back to find they still haven’t left the kitchen soon.

“Seriously?” She laughs, watching them leap apart. It’s too clear Dani has forgone the idea of coffee and bacon for the much-more-invigorating art of pushing Jamie against the refrigerator. Not that Tess can blame her.

“We--were just--”

“Right in front of my cereal,” Tess says gravely, shaking her head in faux-disappointment as she stretches over Jamie--whose hands are still rooted to Dani’s hips, the hem of Dani’s shirt dropping hastily back over her stomach--to retrieve a box of off-brand Lucky Charms. “No shame.”

They’re both making noises of disagreement, as though Tess hasn’t had her share of groping in the kitchen experiences to call on. She snorts.

“Look, far be it from me to stop your, ah, young love in its tracks. Just. Keep it out of my bedroom, is all I ask. Unless...” She wiggles her eyebrows. Jamie clears her throat so violently, it sounds as though she might fracture something.

“Shower. Should. I.”

“That sentence normally goes in the other direction,” says Tess helpfully. Dani swats her back, grinning.

“Got that out of your system yet?”

“Oh, not nearly.” Tess beams. “By all means, Clayton, show her where the shower lives.”

“I know where the,” Jamie begins to protest, but Dani is slipping both arms around her middle, pressing against her back to urge her toward the bathroom.

“That’s her polite way of saying if I don’t go with you now, she’s going to spend the next half hour fishing for details.”

“You still owe me those,” Tess calls after them. “Every last filthy one.”

***

They think the shower is noise-cancelling, too, Tess realizes about four minutes later. Jesus, these beautiful useless idiots.

***

It’s the lack of subtlety masquerading as Chill, really. The fact that every single time Tess leaves a room, she can count slowly to ten, poke her head back out, and find they’ve picked right back up where last she interrupted.

Step into the bedroom to change her clothes? Come back out to find Dani straddling Jamie on the couch.

Take a quick smoke break on the stairs out front? Glance through the window to find Jamie shirtless, the unmistakable tread of scratches running down her back beneath her bra.

Offer to run out for lunch? Spend an extra five minutes idly counting clouds, because fuck only knows the sounds Dani is making isn’t karaoke.

“You two,” she announces, tossing the pizza box onto the counter with a flourish, “are going to break something if you keep this up. I mean, you’re at least taking hydration breaks, I hope? Do I need to bring you a power bar?”

Jamie has the decency to look slightly ashamed of herself, though there’s a definite grin beneath the hunched shoulders. Dani, selecting a slice of pepperoni-and-banana-peppers, shrugs.

“Consider it payback?”

“For who?” Tess demands, delighted. Dani raises her free hand, ticking her fingers down toward her palm.

“Tyler, whose butt I saw like ten minutes before you introduced us. May, who you used to desecrate the kitchen floor. Carlos and Beth--”

“Liz,” Tess interrupts, “she goes by Liz these days.”

“--Liz, with whom you conveniently forgot I needed to shower before my presentation and took up the bathroom for three hours--”

“Okay, okay,” Tess snorts, groping for a dishtowel in some shade of off-white to wave. “Truce.”

“And that’s just this apartment,” Dani says cheerfully. She tilts her head to look at Jamie, whose face can best be described as aghast. “Back in the dorm, she used to sneak girls in after I was asleep.”

“You were a sound sleeper!”

“No one is sound enough to ignore a bed frame breaking, Tess.”

“I...avoiding college was the right choice,” Jamie says weakly. Tess bats her eyes.

“You’re saying you’ve never dreamed of breaking a bed frame with me, Taylor?”

Jamie darts a look around at Dani, her eyes just shy of screaming. Tess is having the best time of her life.

***

“Tell me honestly, though,” she says. Jamie gives her a sharp look, uncertainty obvious even as she reaches to accept the joint Tess is passing her way.

“Really don’t think Dani wants me giving you a play by play.”

“Dani, beloved of my soul, was fool enough to schedule a doctor’s appointment while you were still in town. She knows what I’m about.”

To Jamie’s credit, she doesn’t choke this time. She puffs once, twice, holding the smoke in her lungs an impressively long time before craning her head back and exhaling. "What am I telling you honestly?”

“You’re going to keep an eye on her, right?”

Jamie looks surprised. “Yeah. Not that she needs it, mind. Just. Yeah. Always.”

Tess sighs. “She doesn’t need it, but you know as well as I what that woman is like. Too good. Too fucking good for her own good, you know? Forgets, sometimes, that she can come first, too.”

Jamie offers a smile nearly wicked in its amusement. “Oh, I take care of that.”

“Yes,” Tess drawls, “darling, I can tell. You know, really relieved she never brought anyone home before now. I’m not sure my beauty sleep could have taken the abuse.”

Jamie laughs, leaning back and pulling a throw pillow into a loose embrace. “She doesn’t need anyone taking care of her. But...”

“But you can’t help wanting to, anyway,” Tess guesses. When Jamie nods, she takes another hit, lets the smoke burn in her chest. “She has that effect on people. Our girl would take a bullet for anyone, and it’s...impossible not to love her for it.”

“She’s the reason,” Jamie says softly, “I didn’t run. Reason I did a lot of things, some of ‘em really, really stupid. Sometimes I think everything I’ve ever done can be traced back home to her, one way or another.”

“That, my dear,” Tess says, “is what fools and songstresses alike call love, I think. Just...do me a favor, keep her from killing herself for those kids.”

Jamie nods. “I will. Promise.”

“Good,” Tess says lightly. “I like you, Jamie. You’ve got the hands of a sinner and the smile of a saint. I’d really hate to have to track you down and kill you for doing her wrong.”

***

For all the sex, and all the blushing that follows, it’s late nights like this one that really say it all. Nights where cards fade into lazy conversation fade into this: Jamie, asleep on the couch, her head resting in Dani’s lap. Dani, looking down at her like she’s never felt so at home in her own skin.

And Tess, watching them both, astonished by the lack of fear in the room. The lack of distance. The lack of uncertainty.

Dani, who has always been a nervous sort, whose panic attacks are so predictable on bad weeks, Tess came back from that first Christmas break with a laundry list of coping methods to offer--looks perfectly at peace. Her fingers stroke back Jamie’s hair, tracing her forehead, her nose, every brush of contact only seeming to sink Jamie deeper into dream. Dani has never looked like this before.

“You’re happy,” Tess says quietly. Not a question. Not a challenge. Dani smiles.

“Part of me thought she’d get sick of it, you know. Waiting for me.”

“Who could get sick of you?” Tess asks, and means it. No one in the world stacks up to Dani, on a list of favorite people. No one in the world ever could. If Jamie really did fall ass over teakettle for this woman when they were barely old enough to know what love was, she couldn’t be blamed for it. Not for a second.

“You’ll invite me to the wedding, of course,” Tess says, when Dani--eyes closed, fingers still tracing aimlessly--says nothing for a while. One blue eye emerges, her nose scrunching up.

“Jumping ahead, aren’t you?”

“She’d do it here and now, if you asked. Shit, I could get ordained, do it for you. Always thought I’d look nice in a little suit.”

“You’d be gorgeous,” Dani says, without a hint of deprecation. Tess blows her a kiss. “And...yes. If and when, I can’t imagine doing it without you.”

“As officiant?”

“I was thinking maid of honor,” Dani laughs. Tess leans back, smiling.

“That’ll do.”

The silence creeps in again, the sleepy indulgence of post-midnight living that feels so perfectly suited to the college experience. Nothing else, Tess suspects, will ever be quite this again--the quiet feeling like peace, the weariness feeling earned, not crushing. Jamie breathes out in her sleep, one hand drifting to gently grasp the hem of Dani’s shirt.

“Gonna miss you,” Tess says softly. “And this one, too.”

Dani smiles, a hint of sadness in her eyes. “It won’t be the same again, will it?”

“Nope.” And maybe that’s a good thing, she thinks. Maybe that’s exactly how it should be. Growing up. Changing. Learning who they ought to be. “But you’ll call.”

“And write,” Dani agrees.

“And send me pictures of your hot gardener,” Tess adds. “Lord knows, it’d be a crying shame to forget that.”

Dani laughs. “Never.”

“You did good, Clayton. Took you a minute, but--you did good.”

She lets the silence settle for real, lets Jamie sleep and Dani doze, lets herself sink into the armchair. They aren’t subtle, it’s true--she’ll probably wake tomorrow to find they’ve opted for a quiet round of the most wall-shaking sex she’s ever heard in Dani’s room--but that feels right, somehow. Good, to see Dani refusing to make herself small. Great, to see Dani refusing to temper an emotion this grand.

“I love you idiots,” she says softly. “You’re going to be just fuckin’ fine.”

#fanfiction #ficlet #the haunting of bly manor #dani x jamie #damie #AU one-shot #welcome back Tess I've missed you #love an OC I enjoy almost as much as the canon kids

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fairydust-stuff · 4 years

Text

Enemy Yut Lung & Eiji one shot: Warning this one is not romantic or soft plantonic friends.

“ I’ve decided i’m going to be Ash Lynx’s enemy,” Yut Lung casually states.

Eiji freezes the implications of this statement slowly seeping into his brain. What the hell was this guys problem? He said he was just like Ash if that was the case why did he want to make his life harder?

At first Eiji had viewed Ash as untouchable, a powerful shonen hero like the ones from his childhood heroically fighting against evil men who wanted to control him but after that night. Eiji had seen the look of devastation on Ash’s face as he put a bullet in Shorter Wong’s brain. Even covered in the blood of his enemies ,Ash had such a shattered look about him.

The nights that followed were full of raw howls and heaving sobs as Eiji soothed Ash Lynx back to sleep. By day his gang members cowered from his wraith since the slightest thing they did seemed to set him off.

He cann’t handle anymore he’s been brutalized for far too long and as much as Eiji wished he was like those magically girl characters who made everything all right. He couldn’t just reach inside and rewire Ash’s brain or fix his heart with gentle fingers. All the love in the world could not repair the damage Golzine had inflicted.

Yut Lung had the means to tear what was left of Ash’s heart straight from his chest and crush it under his heel. Which is why Eiji said what he did next.

“ If your Ash’s enemy then i’ll be yours!” Eiji proclaimed defiantly.

Yut Lung’s usual hateful mocking expression was replaced by pure shock. Then he laughs.

“ Very well if you're my enemy” Yut Lung motions to the gun in Eiji’s hand and raises a delicate eyebrow as if to say get on with it.

Eiji raises the gun and points it at the other boy with one bullet and he can get rid of one more problem for Ash, but something about the other boy’s eyes makes him hesitate. There’s an uncomfortable familiar vibe to them that unnerves him and makes Eiji unable to pull the trigger and end things. Also killing an unarmed person, even one as vile as Yut Lung still isn’t right. It goes against everything he’s been taught.

“ Disgraceful, how can you be my greatest enemy if you cann’t even pull the trigger?” Yut Lung looks at him as if he’s a disappointing liar who cheated him.

Eiji’s plan was too escape and run directly to save Ash. he was just about to get back to that plan. When the younger boy who had looked pissed when he saw Eiji in the elevator shows up and tackles Eiji to the ground.

“ You ok?” he asks Yut Lung softly

“ I’m fine!” Yut Lung brushing the boy's concern away. “ Just get him back to his room” he snapped with irritation…

Eiji threw himself upon Yut Lung Lee who moved swiftly out of the way, he fell and smacked his head on the door.

“ Is this your way of persuading me you’ll be a good enemy or a court jester?” Yut Lung said with some amusement.

“ How did you know?” Eiji asked rubbing his head

“ I’m not the person to fall for the same trick twice” Yut Lung said …

Eiji shoves his dinner into the face of Yut Lungs servant and hurls the plate at him, the other boy dodges.

“ I’ll have another plate brought up for you, if you toss this one you can go to bed hungry” The younger boy warns with a pleasant smile…

“ How the hell did he get a lighter!” Yut Lung exclaimed furiously using expensive cloth to douse the flames to save his precious plants as the guards restrained a smirking Eiji...

“ Fine you can be my enemy, I certainly hate you enough” Yut Lung spat.

“ Great now please free me so i can save Ash” Eiji said.

“ No, though you have managed to irritate me, your technique is sloppy and unrefined. If you're going to be my enemy, you're going to become worthy of that title” Yut Lung makes a motion to his mafia goons who drag and blindfold Eiji when they take it off he sees he’s in an underground room.

“ Lets start with your breathing” Yut Lung states.

“ breathing?” Eiji demands

“ Its loud i can hear you coming, we need to change that” Yut Lung says simply “ But i need to” the mafia heir cuts him off “ I’ll keep an eye on the Ash situation” …

“ What? you have a shooting range on your estate?” Eiji exclaims looking at the fancy targets one of Yut Lung’s guys hands the boy a gun.

“ You should see the interrogation room in the basement” Yut Lung says sardonically and lines up his weapon and takes aim bam bam bam! Three straight shots in a row.

“ I cann’t tell if your fucking with me” Eiji said with a scowl.

“ Here” Yut Lung hands him a gun. Eiji frowns, forgive me Ash but i’m doing this to save you. He takes a few shots.

“ Disappointing” Yut Lung states.

“ What are you talking about i got half of them” Eiji argues.

“ Half isn’t good enough in a shoot out with me and my men” Yut Lung shot back. “ Lets talk about your shooting stance”

“ Ash showed me this!” Eiji argues.

“ What works for one person doesn’t work for everyone” Yut Lung informed him. “ Lets try some different stances and see if we can find one, That works better for you”

Eiji placed his arms and legs where Yut lung told him “ This is weaver stance its a boxer type, it might work better. You have a wider frame, Ash is more slender in build.”

It was surreal Eiji thought being taught by the one person he couldn’t stand who actually had some good advice. He found the second time he actually hit more of his targets. Yut Lung made him practice until almost nightfall...

Eiji found his days of being a captive were now loaded with lessons every day he was led blindfolded to some obscure location of the house. Where Yut Lung would instruct him on one topic or another...

“ Again” Yut Lung commands as Eiji pulls yet another acupuncture needle from his body. He was just glad they were clean; he still had awful memories of suddenly blacking out from whatever horrible substance the mafia heir put in those things.

Though he could do without Yut Lungs constant criticisms which made him want to curl in a corner and cry and took him back to his school days of struggling to balance athletics and still maintain perfect scores on every test. Eiji told himself at least the mafia heir wasn’t focused on Ash. Besides it was the same pressures he grew up with and this time he was determined not to crack…

A month later and Eiji was sitting at the dining room table apparently after no instances for a couple of weeks and Yut Lung had loosened his restrictions. Though he was still being lead to and tied to the table with one hand.

The boy who recaptured him who Eiji learned was called Sing Soo Ling was loading up and gobbling down what appeared to be multiple dishes.

“ You can at least use a napkin. I'm sure the Wong’s didn’t raise you to be a pig” Yut Lung remarks.

Sing responds by opening his mouth and giving the other boy a view of his chewed food. Yut Lung makes a soft sound of disgust as he delicately dabbles at his mouth. He turns to Eiji “ You made some slight improvements” he remarks. Coming from Yut Lung, it's almost a complement.

“ Are you seriously training this guy to be your enemy?” Sing demands incredulously

“ Honestly he wasn’t even my first choice” Yut Lung responds.

“ You ritch types are weird” the fourteen year old said.

“ i don’t go around with something called dragon fang” Yut Lung retorted.

“ Maybe if you did, you’d get taken hostage less!” Sing responded.

“ He got the jump on me. How is that my fault?” Yut Lung exclaims

Eiji watches incredulously as the two of them get into a pointless argument going back and forth there’s no heat to it really, rather a sense of comfort. Its the kind of argument he might have with his younger sister. Its just odd seeing this casual behavior from Yut Lung Lee of all people.

“ So Eiji has this guy dangled you over a snake pit yet?” Sing asks cheerfully

“ Where did you hear something so ridiculous?” Yut Lung complains

“ Servant gossip” Sing replies.

“ They’ve gotten chattier since my brothers illness” Yut Lung scowls.

“ Come on Yue don’t be so uptight” Sing coaxes

“ What’s the point of having a staff if they don’t know how to stay quiet” the mafia heir points out.

“ Their not spilling any secrets, just making up odd stories ” Sing pointed out.

“ If i hear one word of actual Lee businesses pass anyone's lips…” Yut Lung was interrupted by the entrance of a servant girl who whispered something in his ear.

“ What!” Yut Lung hurled one of the dishes at the wall.

“ Getting hysterical again!” Sing teased him.

“ Shut up!” Yut lung got up “ No one can seem to find Ash”...

Eiji sits in his room Yut Lung is too off kilter to continue his training. Sing gives him updates saying that the mafia heir spends a lot of time sending his people out, waiting by the phone and has even headed out a few times himself. It worries him that Yut Lung hasn’t actually given up on Ash. So he does push ups and pull ups every day to keep in shape. Eiji practices the stealth techniques Yut Lung showed him. He steals a pen so he can practice writing the codes on the walls he was taught to decipher and study. He has Sing bring him firearms so he can practice taking them apart and putting them back together.

Then Yut Lung visits him a few days later“ We found Ash” Eiji watches all of the tension from the past few days vanish from him with those three words. This guy was actually concerned for Ash?

“ You really are devoted to becoming my enemy” Yut Lung comments tracing codes on the walls with astonishment.

“ Ash?” Eiji asked

“ He escaped from one of Dino Golzine’s secret government funded organizations ” Yut Lung looks bothered like this is something he hadn’t known about. “ He’s been experimenting on criminals with Banana Fish” …

Its one more day then he’ll finally see Ash and the others again. “ Now before our final lesson there’s someone i want you to meet” Yut Lung leads Eiji into a room down the hall and opens the door. He gasps there’s a grown man with eyes like Shorter’s drooling on himself! He groans at Yut Lung who touches his cheek lightly.

“ Eiji may i introduce Hua Lung my older brother”

“ You used that horrible drug on him!” Eiji backs up.

Its wrong, even worse is the way Yut Lung pulls his living human puppet into an affectionate embrace, his eyes gleaming with hate.

“ Hua Lung was my former enemy” the younger boy pauses. “ Tomorrow i’ll be giving you back to Ash”

Eiji stares stunned at how his arms are still wrapped so tenderly around the one who he had so thoroughly destroyed.

“ Don’t look so surprised” Yut Lung says, misunderstanding the reason for his reaction.

“ I only wanted to deliver Ash to Golzine to force him to be my enemy” Yut Lung looked Eiji in the eyes over the shoulder of his zombie brother. “ Now you are my worst enemy, who will someday destroy me”...

“ Eiji!” Ash embraces him tightly as if he never wants to let him go. Eiji manages to persuade Ash, Yut Lung was just giving him a safe place to stay. The blond would go ballistic if he knew the truth.

Their just about to go then Yut Lung pulls him into a hug Eiji’s body goes entirely stiff he feels the softness of the other boys hands on his skin his voice in his ear like a lovers caress “ Goodbye for now, Eiji”

then the hands are gone his body feels chilled as he remembers exactly who else was embraced with such vindictive tenderness.

“ Eiji .what’s wrong?” Ash asked

“ Yes Big Brother Eiji are you cold?” Yut Lung asks innocently.

Eiji suddenly feels the full weight of the obligation he’s agreed to pressing down on him. How is he supposed to look at those oddly familiar eyes and manage to close them forever? But if he doesn't, well Eiji doesn’t want to think about it.

#banana fish #yut lung lee #yue lung #yut lung #yau si #why does he have so many names?#creepy yut lung #eiji okumura #bird & the snake #enemies au #Eiji is very unsettled #Yut lung has a weird relationship with hate #Eiji should of been Yue's enemy #Ash had Arthur and Fox to fight!#Though they screwed up Fox and Ash as enemy foils too!#asheiji #yut lung & eiji #from my one shot collection

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perseusjackson-jasongrace · 4 years

Text

His Blood Runs Gold IV

Percy is a God: Part IV

Here’s my masterlist for the next part and my other stuff

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

we are products of war

and enemies of peace

we are universes finally standing still

ready, ready, ready

to destroy us all

this time

there is only power baby boy

and i will be brutal.

“Hey,” Jason said faintly, tapping the bubble.

Percy stood from his perch on the rock and waved goodbye to the school of fish he had been talking to. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Like I haven’t slept that well in months.”

Percy produced an immortal grin at that, “You hungry?”

“Starved, you got any of those cookies?”

“You sure you don’t want a proper meal first?”

“Where are we gonna get a proper meal from? My backpack has some lonely granola bars and possibly a fast over-ripening banana.” His eyes furrowed in confusion.

The God simply smiled, “What do you feel like?”

Jason gave him a look but said, “Breakfast burrito?”

He laughed, flicking his wrist and before the demigod could blink a foil-wrapped cylinder appeared in the bubble.

Mouth hanging open, Jason grabbed the burrito and unwrapped it before staring between the God and his breakfast like his head might explode.

“I promise it’s safe to eat.”

“You can just- you just?” The blonde was at a loss for words.

“Believe it or not, it isn’t really handy now. When I was a demigod, I would have loved to have that neat little trick but these days I don’t need to eat much.”

“Well if nothing else I’m keeping you around for that alone.” Jason mumbled around a mouthful of food.

“So you’re just gonna use me for your own selfish needs?”

“Mhmm it may be nice to use the gods for once, instead of the other way around.”

“Fair enough,” He shrugged, and wondered when he’d stop feeling the blow of that statement, uttered so many times by his friends and former camp-buddies alike.

He knew how they felt, hell he had felt like that once; but since becoming one of those gods it was hard not to feel hollowed out. He knew the half-bloods wouldn’t outright curse them, but Percy still heard all their bitter thoughts, He wasn’t sure if it was because he was the god for demigods that the whispers followed him around like a ringing in his head.

Jason’s voice pulled him back to the present.

“Anyway, thank you for the breakfast,”

“Uh yea no problem. So, I was thinking about the prophecy and the direction of the north star,”

“Yea what about it?”

“We’ve been heading south and if my coordinates are correct, we should reach the equator in a day or two”

“Are you saying we’re headed in the wrong direction?” Blue eyes widened.

“No, I think your direction is good, I do think, however, that the arrow isn’t on land. I think it’s in the ocean just before the equator.”

“Why there?”

“You can only see the north star in the northern hemisphere, after the equator it disappears. The further south you go the lower on the horizon it is, which means at some point it looks like it’s on the horizon or close enough.”

“So, you’re saying the arrow sits underneath the star at its lowest point?”

“That’s the idea.”

“Okay that’s good news.” Jason took a deep breath, raking a hand over his face. “I guess we just wait for night and keep following the star.”

‘Actually…” Percy grinned,

“You have a plan?”

“If we just have to get to the equator, I can take us there now.”

“How would you know when we’re there?”

“I know the coordinates at any time when I’m at sea. Son of Poseidon and all that.”

“Well I’m convinced.” Jason nodded, thoughts fluttering behind his eyes. “How are we doing this?”

“I think it’s time to call in a friend.”

With a low whistle, that defied the laws of nature, because how on earth do you whistle underwater, the God whipped a dazzling smile over his shoulder.

“Do I want to know what you’ve invited to the party?”

“You’ll see.”

Just then the water rushed around them. When the clouds of sand and swirling water disappeared a beautiful, iris-coloured beast revealed itself, along with a cyclops already barreling towards them.

“Brother!”

They slammed into each other and Percy was grateful for his godly bones, because he’s sure his mortal ones wouldn’t have survived that collision.

“Hello Tyson, how are you?” He laughed in relief, in comfort.

“I knew I’d see you. A school of firemouth-killfish passed by and said you were around.”

“Thank you for coming. I’m helping Jason and I need Rainbow’s speed.”

“Of course, brother. What are you doing?”

“Jason has a quest to find Eros’ arrows.”

Finally Tyson looked over Percy’s shoulder to see the demigod still wrapped in a bubble, bobbing behind them.

“Jason. I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

“Hello Tyson, how are you?”

“I am good. And you are good?”

“Yes thank you. How’s Ella?”

His brother flushed a red as bright as Corallium.

“She is nice, fine.”

Percy decided to put the poor cyclops out of his misery and focus their attention on the mission at hand.

“Rainbow, can you take us where we need to go?”

The hippocampus gave a noise of agreement and brushed its head along Percy’s arm.

“We must be off,” He said, turning to Tyson.

“When will you be back?” A brown eye blinked in question.

“As soon as Love finds us, I guess,” Percy winked.

It was Jason’s turn to blush the colour of coral, but the god was already looking away, turning to hug his brother.

“I will see you soon Tyson.”

“Goodbye Percy,” and with a wave to Jason the cyclops was gone.

“Alright Jas–“

Percy had felt the deepest senses of fear and love and sadness many times, but never in his twenty years of life had he felt such raging, storm-filled anger. For standing behind an oblivious Son of Jupiter, ready to pounce was a sea creature that probably spawned from the depths of Tartarus itself.

It hadn’t noticed the God, or it wouldn’t even have dared come close to this space.

With a light brush against Rainbow’s side, the hippocampus disappeared. He turned fully, focusing on the beast, hiding himself within the folds of the current. He watched as it slithered out it’s tongue in sickening excitement.

“Jackson you were in the middle of saying something?”

He didn’t bother replying as the creature looked up, finally taking notice of everything other than his prey.

“Hello, found something to enjoy?”

“What?” Jason said

“This fight it not with you Percy Jackson,” It gurgled

Before they could take their next breath, the monster swiped its tail through the bubble and slammed Jason to the ocean floor. Something cracked, the demigod did not rise again.

Percy’s smile was sharp and terrifying.

“That,” He laughed, “Was not very smart.”

With a single movement of his fingers he wrenched the water from the monster’s body.

It seized and gasped, flopping about in the air pocket it found itself in.

“The fight is always with me if it involves my friends,” Malice dripped from the God’s lips.

The monster tried to respond, try to splutter and roar but there was no water in its gills. It gasped and writhed, attempting to escape the air.

Percy simply smiled, darkness gleaming in his green eyes, and watched as the Ketos Troias suffocated.

“Jason slayed you when he was fourteen, just a young demigod, but you decided to come back and oh what a horrible mistake that was,” He wondered briefly if he sounded as manic as he felt, and then decided he didn’t care. “Because now, now you have to deal with me, and I will not make it pretty.”

“I will kill you Percy Jackson,” It rasped.

“You can try.” He laughed, and then spat, “And it’s Lord to you.”

Its eyes widened as Percy revealed his godly form, golden light basking him. With a final roar, the monster turned to dust.

He heard a gasp from below and saw Jason finally coming to it, pushing on the walls of the new bubble Percy had formed around him.

“Are you okay?”

“Feel like I’ve been smacked with a ten-ton sledgehammer and I may have a broken rib but otherwise dandy.”

“Oh good, here’s some ambrosia.” He handed a small square to the demigod who nodded in thanks and gobbled it down.

“Was that the Trojan Sea Monster?”

“Yes, seems it was feeling revengeful.”

“Did you send it back to whatever hole it came from?”

The grin that graced his face could kill mortals, “It’s scattered in the deepest depths of Tartarus. It shouldn’t bother you in this lifetime again.”

“Shall we go then?”

Jason stared at him, and grinned back.

-------------------------------------------------------------

One of the strangest things I’ve ever googled was “type of fish off the Liberian coast” because i needed Tyson to be accurate when he told Percy fish had been talking to him. So yes firemouth-killfish do in fact exist and they do reside in the North Atlantic Ocean. Liberia is around where i pictured the two would be at this point. Anyway just some fun fic A/N’s for ya.

How are you guys finding it? Tell me your thoughts because i am inexplicably in love with Dark!Percy and i need to know if others are too????

Tags (if you want to be added to/ taken off the tag list just let me know, all my channels of communication are open):

@thepersonyourparentswishyouwere @lesbian-peanuts @thegirlwiththegoldenarm @thatis-americas-ass @whatevertakesmyfancy @lucyisblue @lrelikohll @tmifangirl24 @queenkivi @nishlicious-01 @whitelacepants @leydiangelo @urbanpineapplefarmer @queen-of-demons-and-hell

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cosmicjoke · 4 years

Text

Ash and Shorter in Angel Eyes

So, I just finished my read through of Banana Fish. Yes, I cried my eyes out. I then finally got around to reading Angel Eyes all the way through for the first time, and man, what an awesome side story. There’s so much to talk about from it, and so much to explore, but there’s something really specific I noticed, which I think ties into my other post about other people’s perceptions of Ash, and which also relates to the last conversation we see between Ash and Blanca.

In the first three quarters of Angel Eyes, Ash comes across as very cold, as very unfeeling, and even frightening. Even Shorter at one point is so scared of Ash that he doesn’t want anything to do with him. Of course, by the end of the story, we realize his cold demeanor was, again, a total front. A wall put up to keep people away from him, including Shorter, because he seriously doesn’t know who he can trust. He’s wary of Shorter precisely because Shorter’s being nice to him, and nobody’s ever been nice to Ash for no reason. Ash is only going by his experiences in life to inform his decisions. His experiences tell him that anybody being nice to him is doing it because they want something from him. This, coupled with Frankie essentially submitting to Shorter’s demand that he stop harassing Ash at the beginning, and Ash’s having already pegged Frankie as an assassin, naturally makes Ash even more suspicious of Shorter. Eventually of course he realizes, after talking to Shorter and asking him if Frankie is part of his crew, that that’s not the case. But he still doesn’t trust Shorter. He still keeps him at a long distance and doesn’t tell him anything about himself. Well, why would he? He’s just met him a week ago and Ash’s life experiences tell him he can’t trust anybody.

Well, the thing I wanted to really talk about here, and I think this is a prime example of how it is that Ash was never this ruthless, cold-hearted killer, is the moment directly following the fight between Ash and Frankie, where Ash very nearly kills him. He only doesn’t because Shorter shouts at him as he’s charging Frankie with the pool cue and distracts him enough with that that Ash messes up his aim. Shorter runs after Ash afterward to thank him for “going easy” on Frankie, and we see Ash start to laugh, seeming almost demonic in his reaction as he explains to Shorter that he didn’t “go easy” on Frankie. He meant to kill him. Of course, when we later realize that Ash knew Frankie meant to kill him, his own intent to kill makes more sense. But there’s a very important bit of dialog between Ash and Shorter afterward, which speaks volumes about who Ash really is inside.

He thanks Shorter, and then starts saying “So that’s it. Deflect it slightly at the last second. I didn’t DECIDE to go easy on him. But now I finally know how.” He says I “finally” know how.

Now lets take this back for a moment to Ash’s last conversation with Blanca in the park, when they start talking about how Blanca never taught Ash how to go easy on an enemy. He says to Blanca “”Never let your enemy escape alive.” You’re the one who taught me that. I never learned how to go easy on someone I’m fighting.” And then Blanca replies, while smiling fondly, “That’s because I was told there was no need to teach you that.”.

These two pieces of conversation taken together tell us everything about Ash, and his attitude towards the idea of having to kill, even for reasons as justifiable as self-defense.

Blanca taught Ash how to kill with the efficiency of a professional hit man. He taught him how to react and kill in the quickest, easiest and most efficient way possible. He never taught him how to hold back once he was in the midst of a fight. Once he got going, he would become a killing machine, so to speak. And we see this from Ash throughout the series. Once he starts fighting someone with the intention to kill them, he goes through with it with frightening precision and effectiveness. Blanca never taught Ash how to simply incapacitate an opponent using a deadly weapon, he never taught Ash how to only maim, instead of kill. All of his lessons were geared towards showing Ash how to take the life of an enemy, nothing more, nothing less. Dino didn’t want Ash to carry out threats or warnings. He wanted him as a hit man. But Blanca’s words to Ash, that he was told he never needed to teach Ash how to go easy on an enemy, tells us that someone, Dino most likely, told Blanca that Ash was already too soft-hearted and too merciful, and that he shouldn’t bother with teaching Ash anything but how to kill. Dino wanted to use Ash as a weapon, to carry out hits for him. He didn’t have any use for Ash’s own ambivalent feelings about killing. He didn’t care how Ash felt. He needed to mold him into the most effective weapon he could. We see Dino remind Ash, early on in the series, and in a mocking way, about how Ash always used to cry over every job Dino made him do. Ash never wanted to kill anyone, and it was an upsetting enough experience for him that it used to reduce him to tears. He didn’t want to do it, but Dino forced him into it, like he forced him into prostitution.

But let’s go back to what Ash says to Shorter. He says “But now I FINALLY know how.” What this tells us about Ash is that he WANTED to know how to pull back while fighting someone so that he didn’t kill them. He wanted to know how he could stop himself from always taking someone’s life if he happened to get into a physical altercation with them. He’s happy that he’s learned how to pull back in just this one way. He’s been trained only to know how to kill, but Ash hates killing. He only does it because he has to. And we know Ash never would have even tried to kill Frankie if Frankie hadn’t first tried to kill him. Even later on, Ash let’s Frankie go, when he could have killed him. Even here, we see Ash show mercy, despite this asshole and his crew just trying to murder him. It’s the same as Ash only seducing Ricardo as a means of getting Frankie to make a move and show his hand. Because Ricardo made clear his own intention to try and rape Ash. So Ash uses Ricardo’s intention to his own benefit in forcing Frankie’s hand and to find out who sent him to kill him. I don’t think Ash ever intended to “sick Ricardo on Frankie and let him do his dirty work for him”, like Shorter accuses Ash of. Ash saw Frankie beat Ricardo’s ass earlier, when they got into a fight over him, so he knows Ricardo can’t take out Frankie. Ash wouldn’t ever send someone to do a job for him like that anyway, as we see in the main story line of Banana Fish. He takes care of his own business when someone’s after him specifically. He never sends his own boys to do it for him. He acts dismissive of Shorter’s accusation because, again, he’s putting up a front of cold-hearted detachment because that’s the only way he knows how to protect himself. By showing no emotion. Even Shorter basically tells him to utilize a form of this earlier in the story, when he advises Ash to let himself be raped if he gets caught, and to be as quiet and passive as possible. Ash already knows those sorts of tactics, obviously. By this point in his life though, he’s been raped so many times, he’s got more sophisticated means of getting through it. So he uses Ricardo as a means of sussing out who it is that’s gunning for him on the outside. Because he knows if Frankie thinks he’s got a Sugar Daddy in Ricardo to protect him, it’s going to make it more difficult to kill him, which is why Frankie acts like he wants to make Ash his “bitch” in the first place. So he forces Frankie into making his move by making him think him and Ricardo are a “thing”. Ash was expecting Frankie and his crew to make a move on him. When they attacked him in the library, he was ready. Because he knew the act he’d put on with Ricardo was going to make Frankie act, thinking he needed to get Ash before Ash could find protection. And Ash then used that opportunity to find out who had sent Frankie to kill him in the first place. The whole thing was just so he could find out who it was that wanted him dead.

He’s using sex as a weapon, because it’s one of the few ways he has of defending himself. I think Ash starts crying and is so upset when Shorter says if he keeps manipulating people like that, he’ll be just like the assholes who try to hurt him, because that was never Ash’s intention. He was just trying to protect himself. He never wanted to control anybody, or hurt them, or dominate them. He only uses tactics like manipulation to try and keep himself from getting more hurt. He’s not trying to hurt anybody, or control them because he wants power over them. He’s trying to control what’s HAPPENING to him, and because what’s happening to him is being perpetrated by these bastards who want to rape him, or kill him, the best way to control the situation is to control THEM. It isn’t some power play on his part, or born from some sick desire to dominate the other person. It’s the only way he has of protecting himself. He starts shaking and crying and gets so upset, because the last thing he wants is to be like the people who hurt him, and because he never did the things he did for the same reasons as them. It hurts him badly that Shorter thinks he could be like them at all. That he could be like that, or have that kind of twisted mindset. He doesn’t, and he never did. It’s why he tries to explain to Shorter later why it is that he did what he did with Ricardo. He wants Shorter to know and understand the reasons for it. That it isn’t because Ash likes it. It isn’t because he gets his kicks out of controlling somebody, or manipulating their feelings. It isn’t because he wants to have power over them, or because he gets a thrill from the idea of having power over them. It’s because he hopes it will make his own suffering at their hands less awful.

It’s just he was brought up in such an unforgiving and cruel world, that those sorts of things were the only means available to him of staying alive. He couldn’t say no, or fight them off, because that would just lead to his getting more hurt, either by the person doing it, or by Dino, or Marvin, or whoever had him on a leash. Like Ash later explains to Shorter, because he’s so good looking, guys are always trying to force him to have sex with them, and he only figured that it would make it easier on himself, if he took the lead when guys made passes at him like that. If he takes the lead and makes these bastards happy, he can control what’s happening to him, at least to some extent. Shorter wonders then where Ash learned to do that. Well, the answer is obviously Club Cod. Ash HAD to learn to do that to keep himself from getting killed eventually. To keep himself from getting hooked on drugs and used up and destroyed, like most of the kids that ended up in that club. You can easily imagine that many of the “patrons” of that place were violent on top of their twisted sexual perversion, because those two things often go hand in hand. A lot of them probably physically hurt the kids there, were probably extremely violent with them. And we even see that happen to Ash in Private Opinion, when Blanca finds Ash in that motel room after he’s been raped by Marvin. His hands had been tied to the bed frame, and he had bruises all over him. He’s been beaten up on top of being raped. Ash obviously had to learn to “play nice” and be seductive just to keep the physical harm he suffered to a minimum. If he could make the men molesting and raping him think he was liking it, they were probably less likely to hurt him. If he “submitted” and pretended to like it, if he played into their sick fantasies of being this submissive little boy that they could control and do with as they pleased, that they could have total power over, then they wouldn’t be angry, and they wouldn’t make it worse. Like Ash even says to Shorter, the guys who rape you aren’t doing it because they want to get laid. They’re doing it because they want to hurt you and dominate you and control you. The more you struggle, the angrier they get that you aren’t submitting to their will, the more violent they then become, the more brutal the rape. If they think they’ve tamed you and that they’ve broken you to their will, if you act receptive to their advances, then they’re satisfied, and they won’t hurt you more than what they think is “necessary”. It’s truly horrific.

But anyway, back to the scene between Shorter and Ash after the fight with Frankie. Shorter takes Ash’s laughing and words as a sign that the kid is crazy and dangerous. He thinks Ash is laughing because Ash is a lunatic who gets his kicks killing people. It’s a misinterpretation from Shorter. It’s after this interaction with Ash that he starts worrying that Ash is Arthur’s assassin, come to kill him. Ash is confused by Shorter’s sudden anxiety around him, as we see in the scene of them at night in their cell, when Ash gets up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water. Shorter tenses up in fear, thinking Ash is going to kill him. Ash smiles at Shorter and asks why he’s so tensed up, and then jokes, asking “You think I’m gonna rape you or something?” Ash then smiles at him again and says, in the friendliest tone we’ve seen Ash use on Shorter so far “G’night Shorter.”

Shorter looks completely confused, because it just doesn’t jibe with this picture he’s formed of Ash as this cold hearted killer that’s just waiting to pounce.

We see Shorter again later in the library, still worried that Ash might be the assassin, but then he realizes that he just doesn’t get that vibe off of Ash, and doesn’t sense that he’s got anything to do with Arthur. Which of course is true, and Shorter gets his first real glimpse of who Ash actually is, when he finds him in the stacks, sitting up on a ladder and just reading. It’s the first moment Shorter realizes that Ash looks just like the angel on his Christmas card, and we start to see Shorter’s fear of Ash dissipate in that moment.

The thing is, Shorter’s perception of Ash gets skewed for a while by the fear mongering of the other inmates. Nico, who we eventually realize is working with Frankie, is the first to stir it up, to start disseminating the idea that Ash is some kind of devil or demon, and that people should be wary of him. He spreads this ridiculous story that he claims his grandmother told him about this evil woman who came to her village and drove all the men insane and eventually drove them all to kill each other. Everyone laughs at first, because it’s an absurd story and Ash is just a kid. But after what happens with Frankie the first time, Nico doubles down on his fear mongering and won’t shut up about how Ash is the devil, and how he’s evil. He’s trying to turn the other inmates against Ash, because he’s with Frankie, and Frankie is working for Arthur. And eventually, even Shorter starts to get effected by all this talk, and starts to be afraid of Ash to a paranoid degree. Eventually Shorter realizes it’s just bullshit, and Ash really IS just a kid who’s just struggling to survive, and they become friends after that, and Ash no longer seems like this cold, emotionless and frightening devil, but just a cool kid he can shoot the breeze with and really talk to. By the end, they’re real friends, sharing jokes and laughing together. It’s only at the end of Angel Eyes that both we the reader and Shorter himself finally see the real Ash. Again, just this sweet kid who’s surviving in an uncaring and brutal world.

It also tells us everything about how it is Ash became the boss of his gang on the outside. Shorter remarks how, after the fight between Ash and Frankie’s crew in the library, everyone in the prison started treating him like a “Capo”, and that it made Ash really uncomfortable. We see again here how Ash never had any desire to become a boss, or to have any power over other people. He never had any designs to that effect. Never any schemes to take over any gangs or territory on the outside. He’s even confused when Shorter starts talking about how clever Arthur was, in trying to nip the threat of Ash in the bud, because Arthur could see that Ash was the kind of kid that would naturally draw others to him and gain followers just by being there. So he gets Ash sent to reform school and then tries to have him killed there. Ash doesn’t even know what Shorter is talking about because he never had any intention himself of becoming a gang boss. He fell into it because of his natural abilities, and when he got out of reform school, he had a whole group of street kids who’d decided he was their leader while on the inside and wanted to follow him once they were out, and it obviously just snowballed from there, with Ash taking over Arthur’s territory, etc... But again, it stands as testament to how Ash never wanted this life at all. He never cared about money, or power, or control over the street gangs. Like he eventually tells Eiji, him being exceptional wasn’t something he ever wanted, because his gifts are what led him to eventually being thrust into a life of violence and crime which he detested and never wanted.

#Banana Fish #Ash Lynx #Shorter Wong #Angel Eyes

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make-it-mavis · 4 years

Text

Homesick (Entry #26)

(cw: drugs/addiction, themes of depression, very brief reference to sex) ----------

01/13/88 12:40 AM

Hey.

The trip got more solid after that. Sort of. Also sort of the opposite.

After that last flash, I found myself still sitting at the table, still across from Fix-it, still not quite eating the destroyed pie in front of me. My hand was completely intact.

My finger slipped in a slow, idle circle of cold red syrup. I had my knees pulled up to my chest and my heels on my seat. I’d draped the blanket over my head like a hood and cocooned the rest of it around myself, only exposing my arm to touch the plate. I was too hot, less from the blanket and more from what felt like a fever.

Fix-it’s voice was just finishing a sentence. “--can hear me, just nod your head. If you can hear me.”

I gave one small nod, more entranced with the feeling on the tip of my finger than anything else.

He asked tentatively, “What’s your name?”

My voice was muffled against my knees. “Mavis.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“Fix-it Felix Jr.”

He sighed in relief. “Mavy… I need you to listen to me. This might be hard to understand right now, but… a lot of things you’ve seen or experienced tonight… that you’re experiencing right now… are not real. You’re safe, okay? You’re very safe. But you’re not in your right mind. You’re on buffs,” he swallowed. “You’re on… on Game-- Game Changers.”

I blinked without looking up. “No, I’m not.”

“Mav--” he paused to contain himself. “Mavy, honey, listen. Let me tell you what really happened tonight, okay?”

Pain in my head flared, scratching blue lines in my vision. I tried to listen, but buff-fueled stimuli did its best to drown him out.

As the stripes on the wallpaper lifted and arched like a hissing cat, he said, “You broke through ---------- second floor. You ---------- bed frame and ---------- like you were being attacked. You even ----------- when I ---------- understand what I was saying…” his voice and eyes lowered. “You… didn’t even know who I was…”

The windows shattered into jagged teeth in yawning mouths that stretched so wide, the curtain rods crumbled off. Tiny, pink, hairless bats flowed from the holes in the walls and flew in circles above our heads. Niceland itself seemed to break from the earth and float on rolling waves like a pirate ship, and he continued, “You went on about ‘a dog in the hive’ and ---------- saw Gene and chased ---------- had him backed into a corner ---------- in time to stop you from -----------”

“Wait,” I said, watching the table leg divide itself into pieces, “Gene? No, it was a dog!”

“It was definitely Gene, Mavy. You scared the daylights out of him.”

“I almost bludgeoned Gene to death with a bat?”

I could hear resigned disapproval in his voice. “Leg of a bedframe, actually, but, yes.”

Pretty sure I laughed an unwholesome, violent, and spiteful laugh, but it played from my throat like a rolling xylophone. Fix-it was less amused.

“Mavis.”

Suddenly, I felt a bit pissed. “Why did you stop me? He would have respawned! That little sausage roll had it coming!”

“This isn’t funny, Mavis! This couldn’t be farther from funny!”

I forgot what we were talking about. “What happens next?”

He explained insistently, “I had to stop you, of course. I knew you wouldn’t like it when I touched you, but ---------- scratching holes in your arms ---------- blood all down your arm, but you wouldn’t let me ---------- out the window to the dump.”

While he spoke, I pushed my finger into a cold, mushy cherry and took way too long to pop it in my mouth. It tasted… in a word, obscene. My feet were yanked to the floor, my knees pried apart, and when I peeked down into the dark of the blanket, binary-blue glowing eyes leered up at me from between my legs. They winked.

It suddenly became way harder to listen, even as I stared intently at the speaker.

“Ralph actually brought you back up here when he found ---------- heal ---------- shouting about being a bird ---------- slow ---------- started to even out ---------- were very chatty, but still couldn’t understand me ---------- on my couch for two hours ---------- talking to me, but ----------- get through to you ---------- with that pie for an hour and a half…”

The wallpaper peeled down like banana skins, and suddenly, we were surrounded by an aquarium. Rather, we seemed to be in a glass box in the ocean, with a panorama view of the life around us. Rainbows of shimmering fish rippled over a coral reef blooming with funny, fingery flowers. Silhouettes of dolphins twirled in the distance. Pink jellyfish floated around like half-filled party balloons. I felt my little hood fall back as I took it all in, spellbound. Part of me wanted to break out and swim away. Would being a fish be so bad?

“Your eyes are still so blue…” he told me then.

I turned my head, and screamed as I felt a wall of icicles shoot through my body.

A dog was in the water. The one that got away. Looking like a deathly thin shark, it floated limply and stared at me with those dead, black eyes.

“THERE!”

I grabbed the nearest object and hurled it with all my strength. When the plate smashed against the wall, the illusion broke. All of them did. The apartment was just an apartment. I sat back in my chair and tried to steady my breathing, tried to level out my heart’s tantrum. Once I settled, I settled hard. I fell into an eerie sense of calm. A peaceful numbness.

When I saw the pie splattered over the wall and the plate shards on the floor, I said, “Aw. The pie.”

Then I heard a sniff.

I looked at Fix-it. He was crying. He covered his mouth and leaned on his elbows, quietly watching me through watery blinks. I waited for him to say something, but he didn’t.

“I can…” I said slowly, “cut another slice… or get another plate, you know… There’s no need to, uh…”

He didn’t answer.

Finally, I asked, “Why are you crying?”

For a moment, he only shook his head. Then he said, through his hand, “I just… I look at your face, and I just--” he shook, “-- I’m so afraid that this’ll be the last time I see it.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t even sure what he was talking about. My knowledge of my high state was unsteady.

“Why? Are you sick?”

“Make-it Mavis,” he said forcefully, “you’re going to corrupt yourself.”

I took a moment to contemplate that, long enough for him to ask if I still understood him.

“I hear you,” I nodded.

“I-- I thought,” he shook so hard, he could barely speak. “I watched you lying there on-- on my couch, and-- and your eyes were so bright, they cast beams on the ceiling, and-- and you were twitching and kicking and your--” he choked on his words, “-- I thought I could see a blue tint over your sprite-- it might have been my imagination but-- but I didn’t know what to do, because I was so-- so scared that you were-- were gonna corrupt right then and there, right in my living room, right-- right before my eyes!”

I felt around inside my cheek with my tongue. “If that’s the case, why would you worry about never seeing my face again? You’d see my face every day,” I shrugged. “Y’know, just in pieces.”

“Mav--” he broke right into sobbing. I was hopelessly confused.

I asked, “What’s the matter?”

After a period of collecting himself, he said, “Mavy, this isn’t a joke. If you take enough GC, and you get addicted, it’s-- it’s all over. The--” he seemed to go green, “-- the other sprites that have been found corrupted, they-- they all--... None of them had a code deficiency, Mavis. Do you know how long it took for a GC addiction to kill them?”

“Two weeks.”

He fell silent. As if he were afraid to ask, he breathed, “How many have you taken?”

I answered, even though I felt like I didn’t know, “Just two.”

“...Over how long?”

“I… don’t know. A couple days?”

Tears poured from his eyes. “Mavy… Mavy, do you want to corrupt?”

“What? No. I don’t even want to die, much less… y’know, that.”

“Then why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you--...” he made vague, upset gestures. “You’re hurting so bad, Mavy. Why do you medicate with-- with this? None of this fixes anything. There are sprites who are able and willing to help you. Just let them. You don’t have to do this alone -- please, please realize that. None of us can undo… the past, but we can make the present and future better. Things can and will get better, Mavy, you just need to--”

“It can only get so much better, though, can’t it?”

He froze. I just blinked and sat in my chair comfortably, as if we were having a quaint conversation over tea. I didn’t even know where my words were coming from -- I just opened my mouth and let them flutter out like moths.

I continued, “It can only get so good. I think I almost found what ‘good’ really felt like to me, but… it’s over now. I don’t know if I have it in me to look for ‘good’ again, not when losing it hurts this much. I don’t know how to carry on, knowing what I do. I don’t want to die -- I just want to forget. I don’t want to corrupt, and I’m not trying to. I haven’t lost my will to live or anything, it’s just that… I’ve been looking for ways to be happy here my whole life, and… that search has never been more daunting than it is now. I’m tired. I want to rest my head for a while. I just want little vacations from life. That’s what GC is to me.”

We were both quiet for a moment. I spoke before I realized I’d opened my mouth.

“I’m too big for the life I was made for, Fix-it. I can only cut off so many pieces of myself to fit into it.”

He seemed stunned. With good reason, too. I’d never opened up to him quite like that before. He was lucky I was so high.

He muttered, “You… You mean being an Easter Egg?”

“Yeah. Everything that goes with it,” I thought for a second. “I probably have the smallest code out of any playable character in the arcade, and I’m still too big for this place. I don’t belong here. I’ve known that my whole life.”

I thought for a second. “I’m not sure I belong anywhere.”

“Mavis,” Fix-it said, suddenly firm, even with red eyes. “That is, if you’ll forgive my potty-mouth, a whole lotta hooey.”

“Hooey?”

“I know it’s hard for you to feel at home… anywhere, Mavy. I know the Devs served you the short end of the stick. And if I meet ‘em after I delete one day, you can bet I’ll give ‘em a good talkin’ to for treating my cousin like that -- but good golly, Mavis. You know this, you must know this,” he leaned on the table. “You are more than just an Easter Egg.”

I just looked at him, waiting. I expected him to tell me a bunch of stuff I already knew and that never helped me before. I was… mostly right.

“Mavis, I have not seen a single sprite less defined by their coded role than you. Most of the time, you don’t even show up for work! And, you know what? That’s okay! Because… I know these words hurt you real bad before, but…” he swallowed, determined. “This game… doesn’t need an Easter Egg.”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I could hear a distant echo of Gene’s voice saying that, even after all these years. I didn’t have the emotional presence to be upset by Fix-it bringing it up. I just waited for him to finish his point.

“But this arcade,” he slapped the table, “needs a Make-it Mavis.”

I’ll admit it. That was a nice thing to hear.

I can’t tell if I was in a good or bad state to be receptive to it.

“Well…” I said, eyes wandering. “I’d like to believe you. Maybe it did. But it sure doesn’t want me right now.”

He considered that. “Times are really tough right now, but… they won’t always be. Someday soon, it’ll be okay. Once it’s all died down. And until then, you still have sprites who care about you.”

“Like who?”

“Me. Tapper. I-- I think Ralph… maybe? Uh…” he trailed off. I could see panic in his eyes.

I looked at him quietly. I could hear the effort in his voice, the genuine desire to help. More than that, I heard the fear. He was desperate to help me, but lost as to how, and afraid that he wouldn’t figure it out in time. I know I’m not easy to help. I know that. It’s kind of hard to put into words the reasons why. I just need to be able to know that I’m in charge of my own life, whether that lands me in good or bad places. I have a lot of reasons to fly solo. But as Fix-it threw himself so wholeheartedly into some kind of verbal rescue effort, I recognized that there was no way he could understand any of them. If the worst happened to me, I bet he would blame himself.

I knew all too well what that feels like.

I may not exactly be Fix-it’s biggest fan, but I don’t strive to be cruel. If I really was boarding a one-way train to corruption, attempting to dig up the seeds of guilt before they could take root would be the least I could do.

I wouldn’t have been good at that while sober. I don’t think being high made it any easier.

I asked, “Do you really love me?”

Fix-it froze as if I’d punched him in the chest. I just watched him.

“Of course,” he said quietly. “Of course I love you. Don’t you know that?”

“Sometimes. I think. There’s just something I need to tell you. I’ve been waiting for you to figure it out on your own, but, y’know...”

I looked at him. He was waiting on bated breath, already overflowing with tears. I’m sure he was expecting something better than what I said.

“You’re wasting your time.”

I genuinely took no joy in the stricken look that broke over his face. “What..? No, I’m not.”

“You’re wasting your time and your pain. You can’t keep wasting your love on me.”

“It’s not…” he shook. “I’m not wasting my love. How can you say that?”

“I…” I suddenly felt my shoulders getting heavy. “I… can’t... accept it.”

“Why, Mavy..?”

“I can’t,” I said a bit more forcefully. “No matter how much love you offer, I’m not built to receive it. You’re going through all the trouble of worrying about me all the time, and for what? Doesn’t it hurt you when you get nothing back? Loving me isn’t kind, it’s stupid.”

“Mav--”

“I have nothing to offer you. I can’t give you anything for your trouble. There’s no way for us to have…” I gestured, “a real, functioning relationship. I know it’s very hard to understand why, but trust me. The best thing you could possibly do for yourself is to stop caring so much about me. It’s just going to keep hurting you. Especially right now. If I really do get addicted to GC, and I corrupt myself, you’re going to feel like the entire Devs-forsaken world is ending. You’re going to think it was your fault for not doing more. You’re going to hate yourself every day for not protecting me, but you couldn’t have protected me. If I’m going to be corrupted, it’s going to have everything to do with me, and nothing to do with you. But if you love me so much, you won’t be able to understand that. You have so many reasons to hate me already. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll use them.”

He took a second to breathe, clearly dwarfed by the massive plate of emotions I was serving him. I could see in his eyes things that I didn’t quite understand, but they felt so invasive. I’d laid myself just open enough for him to peer inside, and even in my numb state, I felt horrendously naked. After a period of silence, my eyes fell, and my voice lowered.

“You can’t help me,” I said, and fell into barely a whisper. “I… don’t know how to let you.”

We were both quiet for a minute. I was hesitant to look up, but when I did, I was thrown for a loop.

He was smiling. Through tears, but still. There was a quivering, wavering smile on his face.

“Why…” I said cautiously, “...are you smiling?”

A short, single-note laugh burst wetly from his mouth, and he shook his head. “Mavy, don’t you see what you’re doing?”

“...No?”

“You’re giving back. You’re trying to protect me,” he nodded. “You do care about me.”

Yeah. Gross. But at the time, I was just stunned. I couldn’t fathom how I could have broken such hard truths over his head and still have him smiling. “You… wait, what?!”

“If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t even try. This is just one of the things that makes you so wonderful, Mavy -- you’re so full of surprises. You think you don’t know how to be loved, but you do. It just… might not be in the way everyone else does. You give back in ways you don’t see,” he said. “Like right now.”

I stared, agape.

“And, you know…” his smile weakened a bit, “I’m sorry that accepting help is so hard for you. And… yes, it is frustrating a lot of the time. It does hurt. But, no matter what you think you can or can’t accept…” he shrugged a bit, “I still love you. I don’t need your help with that. And you can’t protect me from it, either.”

“You…” I muttered, “ought to have higher standards for yourself. Don’t you want more?”

“Mavy…” he looked at me earnestly, tears flowing, “please listen to me. I don’t care about you just to get something in return. I care about you because I love you. I don’t care if you change or not. I just care that you’re safe.”

I said nothing. I don’t know what my face read.

He continued, “So please, please, Mavy. If I can’t protect you, please protect yourself for me. No more Game Changers, please. Please don’t take my cousin away.”

I blinked slowly and swallowed. “I’ll… try. I just don’t understand how you could care so much when I so clearly... don’t... want you to. Suppose I survive. Just how long do you think you could keep this up?”

Without a single thought, he answered, “Forever.”

The word was barely out of his mouth before I felt it quite physically slap me hard across the face. I reeled and pressed my palm into my cheek, sucking my teeth. I asked, “What in the eight bits was that..?” as pain in my head began to climb.

Fix-it straightened up. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I guess, but…” I pulled my hand from my cheek and saw a bright red streak over the palm of my glove. “What…”

Looking at it shot blinding pain through my head and tore holes in the oddly calm veil I’d been hiding behind. Clutching my head with my other hand, I asked, “Fix-it, am I bleeding?”

“No, Mavy. Not for a while, now.”

“Then what’s…” I stared at the stain, and my heart began to pound. I showed him my hand. “What is this?”

“That’s… your hand.”

“No,” I insisted. “The stain. On my glove.”

He put his hands up in a deescalating way. “Mavy…”

“I’ve seen it before. Why do I keep seeing it?!”

“Mavy, listen. You’re not wearing your gloves.”

It was still there when I turned my palm towards me. “Yes I am! It’s right here! What is it!?”

The sight of my hand became so sharp, so crisp and defined, the scarlet streak so vivid that it bore into my eyes, while the world around me began to wobble and distort at the edges. A hundred jackhammers in my head threatened to split my skull open. Wires of binary scratched, hissed, and sparked across my vision. I felt myself hit the floor.

Squinting through the stinging blue, I didn’t recognize the apartment anymore. I felt like I was looking at it through waves of warped glass. Patches of greyscale cut through the shifting colors. The lines on the wallpaper swelled and shrunk like a ribcage, and with each breath, the lights flared and dimmed. I heard a voice, far away and muffled as if underwater, and a mess of blurry pixels bent over me.

I was suddenly hit with an overwhelming panic. I was dropped into another mental timeline entirely. I was suddenly lost, unprepared -- I felt like I should have known what to do, but I didn’t. I had to act quickly, but I didn’t know on what. I had no idea where any of this was coming from.

I screamed almost involuntarily, and heard glass shatter.

I dodged the blurry figure with a roll, hit my already throbbing head on what I quickly recognized as a table leg. Almost on instinct, I dove for cover under said table, and folded myself up tight. I hid my face in my knees and pulled angrily at my hair, as if I could rip a hole in my scalp to vent out the pain. The crashing and smashing grew louder and more frequent.

When I dared to peek up from my knees, I saw the walls beginning to push inward with a groan, but not in a comforting way, this time. The drywall began to split and crumble with the pressure, and the room’s light started to struggle and flicker frantically, each frame of darkness seeming to plunge me into a completely different room. The shattering glass rang out like deafening warfare. I couldn’t take it. It was ravaging my brain in ways I didn’t understand. I had so many phantom emotions running my thoughts in circles, it just left me reeling.

“Stop,” I said into my knees, “Stop, stop, stop --” and I screamed, “STOP, STOP IT, YOU’RE GONNA PASS OUT!”

A hand made of dense, metallic code touched my arm.

I shrieked and scrambled backwards. Fix-it knelt in front of me, perfectly tangible, his hand still lifted. When I saw his worried face, I noticed that the rest of the room had snapped back into place, too. My heart wanted to break out of my chest, my head was still killing, and my throat was parched, but everything seemed intact and steady again. My arm still tingled in a sharp and gross way where he touched me. Apparently, the shock of his code was enough to snap me out of it. I wanted to be pissed at him for touching me, but I was too stunned. I took in the sight of him completely, crouching there in full work clothes sans hat, looking ready to collapse from exhaustion, yet still going through all the effort of trying to help me.

I was floored by the fact that he succeeded.

As I clutched my chest, trying to catch my breath, he sat down very gently. “Easy, easy,” he whispered, “it’s okay.”

I swallowed.

He asked carefully, “What’s your name?”

I breathed, “Mavy.”

His eyes widened a bit, and he held his breath for a second. He asked, “Do you know who I am?”

I stared at him. The bare bones of it, at that point, seemed obvious.

“My cousin.”

I swear I heard his heart thump.

He slowly brought up his knee to rest his cheek on it, and he took deep breaths. That episode clearly stressed him out, too -- hardly a fair comparison, but still. A weak smile appeared on his face. “Your eyes are starting to dim.”

For a moment, I tried to remember how much time had passed. Then, a pressing thought occurred to me.

“Wait. What time is it?”

“Uh,” his eyes shifted. “Around 3:30?”

“AM?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, crit--” I hit my head on the underside of the table. “Ow-- Okay, I gotta go,” I said as I climbed out and stood. “I’m so cussin’ late. Even for me.”

Fix-it got to his feet, too, and looked more than a little confused. “You had to be somewhere?”

I pulled my gloves on. “Yeah, I was supposed to meet Turbo in Paperboy like, five hours ago,” I grabbed my conveniently materialized leather jacket from the chair and shrugged into it. “He’s probably gone home by now to anger-sleep. You’d never believe that’s possible ‘til you’ve seen it.”

Fix-it just turned white.

I strode to the door in a place it hadn’t been before. “Toodles,” I said, before grabbing air and walking into the wall.

There was no door. There were no windows.

I was very late, and there was no way out.

Flash.

My game’s screen loomed in front of me.

I sat cross-legged, wrapped in the blanket, on the grass in front of Niceland, staring up at our inverted title screen with dry eyes. My body felt hot and riddled with aches that would only get worse as my high continued to fade, and my brain felt fizzled to a crisp. I was so tired, I couldn’t even recognize that I wanted to sleep.

Someone next to me didn’t have the same problem. I heard the honks of Fix-it’s cartoonish snoring. He was just barely upright, his face smushed against his bent knee, a bit of drool staining his pants. I wondered how long he’d been there. I wondered how we came to be there at all, but not enough to wake him. Maybe if I had been sober, I would have painted an airhorn. But, being hazy and braindead and with a faulty brush, I just idly flicked colors onto different parts of his sprite. Red hat, orange shirt, yellow shoes. Red hair, orange skin, yellow pants. Red, orange, yellow.

Past my sleeping canvas, I saw movement. Wreck-it was climbing onto his kingdom of bricks, presumably coming home after a particularly long night at Tapper’s. He came to the little peak behind which sat his stump, and paused. His head turned, and he saw me.

I looked at him blankly.

He held my gaze for a minute. It was hard to tell just what expression he was making, but even from my distance, I could see him sigh. He shook his head slowly and stepped out of view.

I couldn’t manage any thoughts on that.

Red, orange, yellow. Red, orange, yellow.

#fanfiction #fanfic #wreck it ralph #fix it felix #make it mavis #original character #homesick

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silverquillsideas · 6 years

Text

My thoughts on the ending of banana fish

Banana Fish ended on the 20th, and then onward, a lot of posts have been made regarding the ending and what people thought about it. I’ve seen mostly negative posts, where fans were openly hostile to the ending and I get where they are coming from. There was the occasional positive response, and I understand their views too.

My stand on BF and whether the ending was justified falls on the grey area. I tend to oscillate between hating the ending, and liking it for being a powerful, emotional, and haunting experience. Why can’t I decide? Because I’ve got questions I just can’t justify in my head. I can’t come to a reasonable conclusion because of the loose ends that I feel were left in the manga by the author.

This is not meant to be an emotional rant, please bear in mind. I finished the manga back in July, and I’ve had months to ponder over these questions, and reached no conclusion.

Hence, I’ll just place the specific issues I personally had, and hope that, I’ll eventually figure out why it was created the way it was.

I’ll divide this post in 3 parts :

1. The events leading up to Ash’s death

2. Ash’s choice to die

3. The role that other characters played, and why the author chose to ignore their “fates” if you will, and only deemed it necessary for ash to meet his end in that way

I’d like to thank @angofwords, @lynxash @yoru-no-gaspard @ash-callenreese @saishii , with whom I discussed this over months, and finally @shu-kaku, who practically kicked me in the butt to get me to write this post, because I wouldn’t shut up about the arguments :’D

Also, to @zaenaris and @soso1777, my replies have been abysmally late, but here is what I had planned to say in response to you both.

A. THE EVENTS LEADING UP TO ASH’S DEATH

The battle at Mannerheim’s institution finished with Dino, Foxx and Mannerheim dying. Blanca, Sing, Ash, Cain, and all the gang members return safely, with few casualties on their side.

Afterwards, there were clearly two days before the manga ended : Day 1 , where Sing confronted Yut Lung, and Ash and Blanca talked in the park.

Day 2 : where Eiji leaves for Japan, Sing gives Ash the letter, Ash gets stabbed, the story comes to an end.

My question is regarding the behaviors of the characters in these two days, or rather, how Yoshida-sensei chose to write them.

Firstly, Sing Soo Ling, the very competent gang leader, who knew that his brother, hell bent on hating Ash for being a “monster who killed Shorter” and apparently on the mission to “harm Sing” , was missing, never once thought of tracking him down? Provided he had two days at hand? Sing had cleared his animosity with both Ash and Yut Lung, and I’m pretty sure, as a gang leader, he had conveyed both these details to his underlings. Therefore, it’s unlikely, that Lao, could NOT have heard it from at least one person in the gang (even if he was not a part of it anymore, I’m sure he had people close to him), if not from Sing directly. Lao was the only family member Sing had in the Chinese gang, so it seems a very far stretch that he would not have made any effort to get him back in the ring.

Ignoring the above question, assuming Sing was very busy, or the question escaped his mind, my second problem, Lao Yen Tai.

He was under the impression that Ash was a deadly enemy to Sing. His goal : kill Ash anyhow, even if he died in the process, so that Sing could be saved.

So, on that day, he followed Ash around (there is no other way he could have known Ash was at the library)

This is him spying on Ash and Sing talking in the reading room :

Ash and Sing then went outside, and argued loudly for sometime. Lao, of course, followed them, and saw Sing and Ash yelling at each other. Sing ran away, very much unharmed, and alive, after yelling at Ash Lynx’s face. Lao saw the whole thing.

So, my question is, Lao DID NOT come out of nowhere, he was observing the whole exchange. If Ash Lynx was bent on killing Sing, or fighting him one on one, he had plenty of room to do so, but he didn’t. so, why didn’t Lao, go after his brother, and try to clarify the situation before going at Ash on a suicide mission? The excuse that he was “scared and confused and wanted to protect Sing” breaks down here. Logically speaking, Lao should have followed Sing, instead of going at Ash with a dagger. But Yoshida mysteriously chose to overlook this.

Third question : the blatant disregard for reality, in the following situations :

1 A gunshot going off, no one comes to investigate

2 Ash drips blood all over the staircase and goes back to the reading room

No one notices

3 A human being bleeds out, sitting in a chair, in what I’m assuming is the Rose Reading room of the NYPL, which is very much NOT CARPETED and no one notices the blood (~3 to 4 L of bleeding is needed for an average human to collapse and die) in fact, in the screenshot I see, there is NO BLOOD, running out on the floor, not even a single splotch.

Very interesting choice on both the author’s and animators’ parts

4 Also, since the anime time-line is the present day, I’m assuming there will be stuff like surveillance cameras present, so, my question is, what were the security people doing?

The readers are expected to keep the sense of reality suspended for all of the above points.

B ASH’S CHOICE TO DIE

First off, I’m a staunch believer, that Ash wasn’t suicidal, and that he didn’t actively go out and seek situations that would put him at risk of dying. I don’t know how the fandom views him as, but to me, Ash is an extremely resilient human being, and he wouldn’t give up his life just like that unless something major was at stake.

Ash says in ep 13, at the pier, that “there were times I felt that death would be a better option than what I was going through at those moments”

This is not the statement of someone who was trying to give up his life willingly, but only considering that choice under extreme situations. Ash had gone through a lot, more than any one of us, and especially me, who has had zero experience of depression or CSA or trauma of that nature, can fathom. And of course, there were times he felt that death would end his suffering, but also, he had a strong desire for survival and freedom from all that he was going through, and the goal to get revenge on those who had wronged him.

In Angel Eyes, he says this to Shorter, and I think that’s proof enough of how Ash was ready to bend his horrible destiny to his favour and survive whatever he was going through.

With all of that out of the way, I’ll point out the reasons which (according to me), served as his reasons to choose to die:

Why Ash did not seek medical help/call out to someone : Ash’s legal status was still that of a criminal, a gang leader, and whatever might have been his reasons for committing those crimes (ie -for survival), the law wouldn’t see him as anything but that.

The reason Blanca prevents him form going after Eiji to the hospital after he is shot, is precisely this :

There would be too many questions about who he was, what he did, etc, and invariably, the police would’ve been called on him by the hospital staff, since he was technically being treated for a potential homicidal would (a stab to the abdomen). Ash would’ve been questioned by the staff, asked for records, etc. If the police got involved, he’d have been taken into custody after being recognised. Even if Jenkins and Charlie stood up for him, and his status as a victim in the Club Cod trials was taken into account, Ash would not have been able to escape some sort of legal penalty, imprisonment or otherwise.

On further questioning, the names of his accomplices, ie, Eiji, Blanca, Max, even Sing, would come into the light. That was a mess I’m sure Ash wanted to avoid.

Any sort of contact with legal or law enforcement was a big no no in Ash’s current situation, and remember that the police were already looking for Ash at that time, and how Eiji refused to give them his location.

Let’s assume that Ash goes to the hospital / is taken there by people who saw him bleeding out, and he is eventually tried for his crimes. His case is widely publicised, since he is the biggest witness/victim in the Club Cod case. The Corsican foundation was still active, and Ash Lynx was still a successor of Dino Golzine, who had previously bought legal custody of Ash from the state of New York, which means, Ash’s identity as A J Callenreese, was no longer valid. The Corsican hotshots would still come after him, one day or the other, in order to go after Dino Golzine’s empire.

I’m excluding petty gang violence from being a threat to Ash, since at this point, all the major street gangs of NYC were Ash’s allies.

The Govt officials being tried by the court were also potential enemies. Club cod trials would mean more exposure of the politicians, more risk of Ash being the target of thugs or assassins in revenge (like it happened before with Kippard, where he sent the female assassin after Ash in the hospital)

Considering all of this, it’s obvious to me why he didn’t want to drag his life on, especially after the stabbing was done.

A more poetic explanation would be : to keep Eiji safe. It’s needless to elaborate. Ash had already made up his mind that he would remove himself from Eiji’’s life altogether, since he couldn’t risk putting Eiji in the position where they would have to look behind their backs all their lives, or be on the run, or worse still, his enemies tracking back to his friends, including, Eiji, Max, Sing, (or even Blanca), to hold them as leverage to get back at Ash.

Yes, I do agree that his decision was majorly influenced by this wish to keep Eiji safe, forever, by choosing to get himself out of the picture, but only because he was put into the place of choosing in the first place by the author.

I don’t agree with stuff like destiny, or fate, or paying for your actions because of a mysterious force in the universe decided so, because all of those are apt for ballads and fairy-tales, not real life. The above were reasons I could come up under realistic settings. In an ideal black and white worlds, all crimes are punished and all wrong doings are judged fairly, but not in the world we live in , and certainly not in Banana Fish’s world, where the “good guys” paradoxically suffer much more than the “bad guys”.

I’ll also don’t agree with Yoshida on Ash having to “pay for his crimes, as he had blood on his hands, so he had to die” mindset that she allegedly had. If that logic is applied, then I don’t see why she applied it selectively to Ash and not to Banca, Yut Lung, or Sing or any other person involved in gang life.

Instead of that, I’ll see Ash’s death as his choice, and his alone, not because he had to pay, but because he had decided to let go of all this continuous tug of war with his life and end it on his own terms. I don’t think Ash would’ve liked to suffer alone, all his life, in imprisonment by the state (if he was caught), or being held captive by another Golzine/Foxx wannabe.

I respect and agree with his choice, even if it’s not possible for us to ever know for sure why he did it.

C. THE ROLE OF OTHER CHARACTERS

The best possible outcome for Ash’s story, as I see it, would be taking up Blanca on the offer, or at least, if not go to Caribbean, then let Blanca provide him means to remain in NYC in a safer way.

Blanca is an anomaly in Yoshida’s world. He’s the only person who mysteriously remains alive, despite being an assassin, and committing perhaps even more crimes than Ash. He not only escapes his work related enemies, but the entire USSR (during 1980s) and manages to remain under an alias/ second identity. He escaped from the Kremlin, and its ruthless organization, the KGB

If living such a double life is possible in Yoshida’s world, then why did the author not find a similar way out for Ash? It looks a feasible option to me at least.

Second comes Yut Lung. His situation is made prey clear in the manga. The whole fiasco with Banana Fish was cleared up, the Lees died, Yut Lung got his revenge, and struck up a potential friendship / truce with Sing. It’s made clear that he repented his decisions to go after Eiji, or to get Ash to acknowledge his worth as a rival, by whatever means he could.

He let down Sing and Blanca by how he acted, who were the only two positive influences in Yut Lung’s life at that point. He would not have gone after either Ash or Eiji afterwards. So his status as Ash’s enemy was nullified.

The options open to Ash at that point (if the very stupid Lao fiasco did not happen) :

1. Live his life as a gang leader, and always stay on the lookout for his life from his enemies

2. Remove himself slowly from the violent life and maybe assume a different identity like Blanca did to escape all of that for good.

But under no circumstances can I see Ash and Eiji reuniting immediately after the canon events. Anonymous communication, or though friends like Max or Ibe-san, that I can picture, but not ash risking Eiji’s safety by meeting him. Not until years have passed, and Ash’s life became somewhat stabilised, if that were even possible.

It would have hurt, sure, but his unnecessary death could be avoided.

TL;DR :

My point is, I wouldn’t have been confused by Ash’s death or even agreed with it, if only it had been written in a more natural fashion, in accordance with the rules Yoshida set for the ENTIRE manga. She wrote Ash to be a superhuman being, dodging bullets from automated weapons, surviving gunshot wounds that would be fatal on other people, and being able to completely override the effects of anesthetic drugs, in the final battle at Mannerheim’s (as a med student, that is one fact the I find ridiculous, only because its so unrealistic, and impractical) and lots of other fantastical characteristics.

So, his death at the end felt like the author had already decided on having a certain ending, and then lazily arranged the characters and scenarios to fit her choice.

That’s why, my stand on the ending will remain ambiguous, because I cannot accept all these logical fallacies and call the ending realistic or well thought out. Did it pack a punch and make me cry? Yes. Was it haunting and emotional? Yes. But was it a justified or logical ending? No.

The decisions on Ash’s part were consistent with his overall characterisation, but not the circumstances which lead him to make that choice. The arguments that “Ash’s past will definitely catch up to him one day, so death was the best option” is pretty ambiguous. Even if it did, choosing Lao to stab Ash as an example of it, was poorly thought out in my opinion.

The points I wrote above are subject to faults, of course. This is just one way to look at it. Feel free to counter my points, I’m not a US citizen, and I don’t know how politics, law or gang life works there, hence, my reasoning is based off common sense and parallels under similar situations. Maybe I am wrong in certain aspects too. I’d love to hear what you all think.

#banana fish #ash lynx #eiji okumura #bananafish #asheiji #blanca #sing soo ling #lee yut lung #analysis #textposts #banana fish meta #yut lung #akimi yoshida #banana fish manga #banana fish anime #long post

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hamliet · 6 years

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On Banana Fish’s Ending

Welcome to the hell that is Banana Fish’s ending. If you like it it’s hell. If you hate it it’s definitely hell. If you’re like me somewhere in the middle but closer to “I don’t like this” it’s hell. We’re all suffering.

Like any useless writer, I cope by writing out my feelings so here, have this.

I can see why some feel the ending narratively works in some respects, and in some ways I can even agree it can be read in certain ways that make it work. But I also think a happy ending could have been just as narratively excellent, depending on the execution, and my personal opinion is that this would have been a more responsible ending. But no one has to agree, and I understand why people hate the ending and why people defend the ending.

I’m going to talk about this in a few segments: authorial statements, social messages, and genre. (I’m writing another meta on the narrative themes of the ending because that section got massively long.) For what it’s worth, a story does not exist in a vacuum, and while it’s absolutely valid to interpret and critique a story according to simply the written story, it’s also valid to weigh authorial intent (or to dismiss it), and to evaluate how the story plays into both larger cultural messages and larger literary trends. Any author 100% knows that their story will be interpreted according to all of these. But what follows is mostly my opinion/explaining why I feel as I do. It is not me saying anyone has to feel or interpret it the same way.

Authorial Statements

I know Yoshida has made... contradictory and, frankly, offensive statements on the ending, in which she’s said things such as that Ash narratively had to die because he was a murderer and people who kill need to pay with their own lives. In general, Yoshida seems to struggle in interviews--like saying she hates Yut-Lung when the story’s moral center character (Sing) literally tells him in his last scene “I can’t hate you” and promises to help him redeem himself. This is hardly unique to her. It’s hard to explain a complex element of story in a few sentences of an answer. Ishida’s first interview after the end of TG had some cringeworthy moments, Rowling seems to make constant missteps (and retcons), etc. Hence, I generally employ “death of the author”--I think the author’s intent matters to the extent their work conveys their intent, but not if their work contradicts what they then say.

The entirety of Banana Fish contradicts this idea of murderous karma. In fact, the story is at its core about finding a way out of a violent cycle, of finding freedom. Ash dying with a smile on his face literally says that he did not die trapped in a system of karmic violence with no hope of freedom.

Not to mention Sing is a murderer. Yut-Lung* is a murderer. Blanca is a murderer. They all live, and get hopeful (even happy-ish) endings and implied redemption for Yut-Lung and for Blanca.

*I know Yut-Lung is name-dropped as having been assassinated in a later manga called Yasha but like, he never actually appears in Yasha and it has nothing to do with his character’s arc in Banana Fish, so I don’t think it’s relevant to anything relating to Yut-Lung’s character as we know him. It’s really just an Easter egg, and since Yut-Lung dying in Yasha is a retcon of the fact that his arc ending with him living in the main story (Banana Fish) I feel completely free to disregard it as not actually canon.*

Additionally, Banana Fish takes empathetic looks at children who are suffering in a world where they are forced into the roles of prostitutes and killers, and what’s the point of empathy if it can’t change anything? Eiji is noted to basically be walking empathy, having a gift for comforting those around him, and the mutual, spiritual, and yes, romantic, love he and Ash share changes things for Ash (and for Eiji). To say that death had to happen narratively is to say that Eiji was, in the words of his critics, useless, which is rather at odds with the central emotional draw of the story: Ash and Eiji’s relationship. It contradicts Eiji’s beautiful letter, the one that Ash smiled as he died because of, because in this letter Eiji assures Ash: “you can change your destiny.”

So anyways, regardless of what Yoshida says, Ash being a murderer is not a narrative justification for the ending because that simply isn’t what the story conveys.

That being said, that perspective--that Ash’s death is karma for killing--is exactly Ash’s perspective. Just when he was about to overcome his flaw of not seeing his value by realizing how much he meant to Eiji, Lao reminds him of Shorter’s death, the one thing he cannot forgive himself for. And so Ash allows himself to die. But the thing is this perspective is wrong and narratively condemned. Eiji’s letter offers a counter to this, but Ash doesn’t take it (which is slightly inexplicable). Plus, as we see in “Garden of Light,” it leaves Eiji unable to completely overcome his flaw (an inability to act/truly live) for seven years, so the story condemns it too.

And, of course, Ash also did not kill Shorter out of malice--he was forced into it, like he was forced into the life he had to live with Dino. It’s not the deaths of one of the people begging to be spared whom Ash killed for playing a role in killing Shorter, but Shorter’s death itself that brings about fear and mistrust in Lao. To have Ash’s death be a consequence for killing willingly (which he did plenty of), it should have been for one of those nameless people we got a brief shot of, instead of as a consequence for a murder Ash had no choice in and was a victim of almost as much as Shorter was. But that also wouldn’t work because a nameless death doesn’t quite suffice for offing your main character, so. Yeah. Ash’s death is not a narrative consequence for killing others; it’s expressly framed as a tragic and cruel result of his inability to forgive himself for specific acts that were not his fault.

Social Messages Part 1: LGBT relationships

While Banana Fish was written in the 1980s-90s (kind of a dire time for LGBT+ people in the United States with the AIDS crisis), the trope of “bury your gays” has received rightful criticism since, and the ending can definitely be seen as “bury your gays.” (A criticism that is not helped by what happens to the gay/bi character in Yasha.) In other words, while I think the themes, characters, and frankly issues of Banana Fish are generally timeless, the ending is the only part of the story that I don’t think ages well. As time goes by, it will probably get even more criticism because of current society finally moving towards being better in the portrayal of LGBT+ characters.

*Because I want to complain and explain why I really don’t consider anything post-GoL canon: the follow-up picture book “New York Sense” doesn’t help the “bury your gays” impression either: Sing and Akira are certainly intended to be parallels to Ash and Eiji as Akira is brought to the US by Ibe and interacts with gangster Sing in “Garden of Light,” and while such framing is very ambiguous/bordering on not being there in GoL the follow-ups absolutely paint a romantic framing to their interactions in GoL. They marry and raise a son, popping up in cameos in Yoshida’s other works. Hence it runs dangerously close to reading as the heterosexual couple introduced in the epilogue got the happy ending while the gay couple we spent 19 volumes with did not. Since Sing is also still heavily involved with the mafia in all of the follow-ups, this again contradicts narrative justifications for Ash’s death as karma.

While I very much like Akira’s character, her romance with Sing isn’t just uncomfortable because of the above issue--it’s also uncomfortable because she is 13 and he is 23 in GoL (though their relationship doesn’t have to be read as mutually romantic there, and I don’t read it that way) and according to “New York Sense,” they marry when she is 18 which... implies things that seems very, very out of character for Sing, the series’ moral compass, and dramatically contradicts the skeevy adults preying on kids theme. It can also raise some cringe-worthy questions about why it’s framed as okay for the heterosexual couple but negatively (as it should be) for the people--who are primarily men--who assault Ash (and there is noted to have been a woman who assaulted him in “Private Opinion”). Like with Yut-Lung’s death, I just... don’t accept this retconning as canon. It contradicts the themes of Banana Fish as a story so I don’t have to.*

Social Messages Part 2: Abuse Survivors

For people who have been through abuse similar to Ash’s, in which choices over basic things like life, death, and your own body are taken from you, it’s honestly cruel to show someone who has spent their entire life suffering just about to grasp happiness, and then they die. It is fully valid to find this completely distasteful, and I do too.

But for me at least, one aspect that circumvents... some of the distasteful implication that Ash really was broken by things he had no choice in is the fact that Ash triumphed over his abusers first. Yet of course, having him die afterwards still hurts people who read the story and see themselves in a character like Ash, as it can reinforce the idea that abuse defines your life.

I do wish (though I don’t think there’s a moral necessity) that more authors/creators would acknowledge that, in creating characters whom you in theory want people to relate to, see themselves in, root for, care about, you’re asking people to suffer with them as they suffer and if they die, grieve for them. Given the heaviness of Ash’s arc and the specific nature of his suffering (especially since it was horrifically emphasized in the story’s last arc with Foxx), the fact that Ash didn’t in the end overcome the message that he did not have value is going to be very painful for readers/viewers. (Lao missed his vital organs, so Ash really chose to die instead of getting help, because he chose to believe Blanca over Eiji, which... I’m not sure it quite works.) If you could have narratively had it end happily (and it absolutely could have, and apparently Yoshida’s editor told her not to end it with Ash’s death), there’s room to say that going with the tragic ending is hurtful and bordering on irresponsible.

Genre

That defeat of Ash’s abusers is the reason I don’t think Banana Fish is quite as tragic as other stories like, say, the first Tokyo Ghoul or Hamlet or Macbeth, though it’s certainly tragic. In those stories, every single characters’ flaws lead to them dying, and it offers a cautionary tale. Banana Fish is more in the vein of say, Romeo and Juliet, or even the movie Titanic (I’m not making a romance comparison, for the record), in that the main characters might die, but their choices and the people they loved and how they loved manage to save a city, in the case of Romeo & Juliet, or to save Rose in the case of Titanic. In Banana Fish, Ash did help Eiji live, even if Eiji would need time to process it after the set-back of Ash’s death.

In other words, even if I’m unhappy with it and I am, I don’t consider Banana Fish’s ending nihilistic. It wasn’t “life sucks and then you die,” at least not to me. Life sucked, but it also meant something, even beyond Ash’s relationship with Eiji. Ash’s life had value. Through saving Sing in the story’s climactic battle, and then helping Max with that article that would save other child prostitutes, Ash saved younger versions of himself. That’s powerful. Not only that, but Ash found love and hope in his personal life as well with Eiji, Max, Shorter, etc., and through that genuine happiness. Even if he couldn’t fully grasp it, he knew it was there, and he died knowing there was genuine, true love, and therefore beauty, in the world too. And that, for me, comes across as far more hopeful than surface-level, cheaper happier endings. But still, the fact that Ash couldn’t fully experience this beauty and happiness because of the cycle of violence he had no choice about being involved in, plus a questionable character decision, does leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. (That questionable character decision, with the letter not having a full effect, makes tragedy seem a bit forced on Yoshida’s part.)

I want to quote Arthur Miller’s “Tragedy and the Common Man,” and I’ve highlighted parts I think explain how I feel about Banana Fish and Ash’s character (in particular, why I don’t think a tragic ending necessarily sends a nihilistic message, at least not to me):

The Greeks could probe the very heavenly origin of their ways and return to confirm the rightness of laws. And Job could face God in anger, demanding his right and end in submission. But for a moment everything is in suspension, nothing is accepted, and in this sketching and tearing apart of the cosmos, in the very action of so doing, the character gains "size," the tragic stature which is spuriously attached to the royal or the high born in our minds. The commonest of men may take on that stature to the extent of his willingness to throw all he has into the contest, the battle to secure his rightful place in the world.

There is a misconception of tragedy with which I have been struck in review after review, and in many conversations with writers and readers alike. It is the idea that tragedy is of necessity allied to pessimism. Even the dictionary says nothing more about the word than that it means a story with a sad or unhappy ending. This impression is so firmly fixed that I almost hesitate to claim that in truth tragedy implies more optimism in its author than does comedy, and that its final result ought to be the reinforcement of the onlooker's brightest opinions of the human animal.

For, if it is true to say that in essence the tragic hero is intent upon claiming his whole due as a personality, and if this struggle must be total and without reservation, then it automatically demonstrates the indestructible will of man to achieve his humanity.

The possibility of victory must be there in tragedy. Where pathos rules, where pathos is finally derived, a character has fought a battle he could not possibly have won. The pathetic is achieved when the protagonist is, by virtue of his witlessness, his insensitivity, or the very air he gives off, incapable of grappling with a much superior force.

Pathos truly is the mode for the pessimist. But tragedy requires a nicer balance between what is possible and what is impossible. And it is curious, although edifying, that the plays we revere, century after century, are the tragedies. In them, and in them alone, lies the belief-optimistic, if you will, in the perfectibility of man.

This applies to basically all tragedy, of course, but I think some tragedies are more hopeful than others. And I see that struggle in Ash’s, and a hope in Banana Fish that I don’t see in other more nihilistic stories. Ash fought to reclaim the humanity that people tried to deny him, and through Eiji realized his humanity was there all along.

Anyways, these are my complicated, all-over-the-place feelings on the ending. It’s fine for people to feel strongly either way, but also understand that when discussing such a heavy, fundamentally triggering work, it’s good to be sensitive to where people are coming from and interact with differing opinions with empathy. Many of us relate to characters like Ash, Eiji, and Yut-Lung, and since you don’t know where someone is coming from, let them express their feelings, and be kind.

I’ll post another meta on thematic impressions on Banana Fish later. But to each their own. Also please note, again, this is really just my opinion.

#ash lynx #banana fish #banana fish ep 24 #eiji okumura #asheiji #yut-lung lee #yue lung lee #sing soo ling #shorter wong #lao yeon-tai #lao yen-thai #banana fish meta #banana fish ending #ramblings #akimi yoshida

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beesmygod · 5 years

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this is what riverdale is about (part 3)

part 1

part 2

first, i have to start this description of the first season by begging you to stay with me for all 3 seasons; the first season is hilariously quaint in hindsight to whatever the fuck i just watched in season 3. the first season does deal with some weirdly heavy subjects for a comic that was at one point about getting a malt down at the shop with your best girl (for example, a plot point in season 1 is a predatory teacher/student relationship) but the third season is freaked out on pcp comparatively. the descent into madness this show demonstrates as time goes on should act as a warning to all who desire to write fanfiction: there but for the grace of god goes YOU.

anyway, my approach to doing this is that i will describe each episode of the season briefly. in some episodes, nothing of major consequence happens. in some, i will describe interactions i found especially bizarre or accidentally funny or iconic. you may want to keep the list of characters handy but i will try to explain the new, incidental ones as they pop up.

an odd side note: you will notice many of the episode titles are taken from movie titles. “riverdale” LOVES making references to movies. i mean hell, so do i, but you will notice some of the references are............on the nose.

images are from the riverdale wiki

SEASON ONE (PART 1):

the river’s edge: jughead, as the series narrator, describes a july 4th boating incident that led to the death of jason blossom, cheryl’s twin brother. cheryl is found by some off-brand boy scouts on the riverbank looking like a fabulous drowned rat. when the town comes to gawk at the spectacle, betty’s mother is hella pumped at the idea of jason being dead because he broke up with betty’s sister, polly (betty’s mom is later revealed to be prejudiced against all redheads, including archie). jason’s body is not recovered.

veronica and her mother arrive at riverdale to stay in a 5 star hotel that inexplicably exists in this podunk little shithole of a town. they discuss her father’s recent arrest for various financial crimes and decide to get a burger. betty, across town, is thinking the same thing...but love is on her mind...

betty wants to confess her feelings to archie, who she watches dress from the house next door. he is huge and beefy, having worked on his dad’s construction site during the summer. betty on the other hand, organized a toni morrison release party (?!), which she describes to archie as they catch up over a burger. archie wants to make music now. music is the ONLY thing that gives his life meaning (spoilers: he only feels this way for about half a season), except for football. betty is about to confess her feelings but veronica busts the door open and ruins everything.

there is an insane scene here where veronica meets kevin at school the next day and “concludes” he’s gay using her powers of deduction and also the fact that he talked to her about a gay bar in town (i cannot believe the riverdale gay bar has never come up again wtf). based on this information alone, she wants to be best friends. great stuff.

archie tries to join the pussycats and they tell him to fuck right off. josie gets a weird monologue about her cat ears. archie makes weird eye contact with the music teacher at riverdale high, ms. grundy (who is like 22 years old and hot now, instead of ancient and withered), who is revealed to have had a VERY uncomfortable sexual relationship with him. the visual coding of the flashback scene is bananas; she’s wearing the heart-shaped pink “lolita” glasses from the kubrick movie.

through a flashback scene, it is revealed that one of archie and grundy’s sexual trysts that took place on the date and location jason died was interrupted by a gunshot. meanwhile, betty and veronica gay kiss to try to get on the cheerleading team but cheryl is unimpressed, commenting that it is SO 1990s. nevertheless, they make the team.

at the semi-formal, betty confesses to archie, who reacts like she handed him a dead fish wrapped in newspaper. cheryl thinks this is hella funny and sets up a scenario at her after party that gets veronica and archie together for a round of “7 minutes in heaven”. betty flees. jughead writes his novel in pop tate’s chocklit shoppe. kevin and moose (a closeted football player) try to fuck down by the murder river but the mood is ruined by jason’s body floating to the shore.

OKAY that’s the longest one. we had to establish a bunch of shit. stick with me now.

a touch of evil: archie confronts grundy about the gunshot they heard, now that it is certain that jason was killed by a gunshot to the head. betty and archie make up and become friends again, beginning the cycle of riverdale drama that wraps itself up in less than 12 hours. cheryl uses the school p.a. system to demand the killer reveal himself so they can put him in the chair. alice cooper pays off the mortician for information about jason’s corpse so she can run an expose about the murder in the front page of the local newspaper. jughead witnesses archie sharing a way too intimate hug with grundy. veronica’s mom works at pop tate’s and meets archie for the first time at work, commenting on how handsome he is, like his father. archie andrews is certified milf-bait for whatever reason.

betty invites cheryl to her house for mani-pedis to spite veronica. cheryl uses the opportunity to accuse betty’s sister of killing jason. betty responds by telling cheryl to get out or she’ll fucking kill her. normal stuff. meanwhile, jughead confronts archie about grundy and finds out pretty much everything, from the inappropriate relationship to the gunshot. he urges archie to go to the cops but archie won’t do it because *~what he and grundy has is sPeCiAl~*. jughead tells archie he’s a fucking idiot and brushes off archie’s attempts to threaten him.

betty asks about her sister, who is revealed to be in a mental hospital in a catatonic state as a result of the relationship breakdown between her and jason.

jughead gets brutally owned by jocks who call him “donnie darko” and “suicide squad” while implying he fucked jason’s corpse. archie defends jughead and they make up right before the pep rally. the heartless bastards at riverdale high inexplicably gave archie jason’s football jersey instead of retiring it and cheryl has a real meltdown about her brother’s death, fleeing into the girl’s locker room to sob her heart out. she confesses to veronica, the only person who goes to comfort her, that jason was supposed to come back.

the next day, the cops arrest cheryl in the middle of class and handcuff her. it turns out jason didn’t die july 4th, but a week after.

body double: despite confessing to being guilty at the end of the last ep, cheryl starts this ep by saying “let me clarify what i meant by guilty” which is the first of many times riverdale immediately recons its own writing for no apparent reason. cheryl confesses she lied about what happened the day of his disappearance; they weren’t simply having a little boat ride, but trying to facilitate jason’s escape to a farm away from the clutches of his family. he was supposed to contact cheryl once he got somewhere safe, but he didn’t. meanwhile, betty’s mom apparently didn’t get the “not guilty” memo and publishes a sensational article about jason accusing cheryl of being the murderer. through this, it is revealed to the audience that betty’s mom and dad own and operate the local newspaper. just them. no one else. cool.

archie finally tells the sheriff about the gunshot but lies about grundy’s existence. kevin comments offhandedly that everyone should re-watch “making a murderer” on netflix, making this what i think is the first plug of an irl property/brand in the show. from here on out they get more brazen and batshit. veronica reveals she has a date with the football coach’s son, chuck clayton, but everyone warns her he’s a player. betty re-opens the school newspaper to compete with her parents and get the REAL story out. she hires jughead to interview the kids who found cheryl the day jason disappeared.

okay, dear readers, please listen to me attempt to explain the next part of this episode. veronica goes on a chaste date with chuck which ends in some light making out. the next day, it is all over social media that chuck gave her a “sticky maple” which is, as far as i can tell, some maple syrup photoshopped onto a photo of her to replicate cum. this is impossible to explain via text, so please look at this helpful screencap.

the theme of this episode suddenly sidewinds from “we must solve jasons murder” to “we must avenge veronica being slut-shamed”. they consider going to the authorities briefly but decide to storm into the boys locker room which accomplishes nothing. this story line is briefly put on hold so jughead can unsuccessfully interview some not-boy scouts and cheryl can repay archie’s attempt to clear her name by setting him up with music lessons from josie and the pussycats.

ethel muggs, a slightly more unpopular and more dowdy girl who pops up from time to time in the plot over the course of the three seasons, reveals that she is one of chuck’s victims too. she tells of a “playbook” kept by chuck that details sex acts the football team engages in (presumably with girls and not each other).

jughead successfully squeezes a not-boy scout into revealing that the scoutmaster (who is like a 15 year old boy) fired the shot everyone heard at the river, but he was just practicing on targets he set up. the scoutmaster is a hardcore survivalist (a fact that becomes vital in later seasons). so ultimately the gunshot meant nothing.

archie offers to write songs for the pussycats and josie tells him to shut the fuck up, white boy.

kevin, betty, veronica and ethel break into the school after hours to find the playbook. cheryl inexplicably shows up wearing red thigh high boots to help them. no one except for me, the audience, is excited about this development. the book they find reveals that jason had a sexual relationship with betty’s sister, implying a sort of pump and dump situation between the two. betty goes apeshit and pledges revenge against chuck.

okay. just. stay with me now.

betty puts on red lipstick and somehow successfully convinces chuck to have sex with her at ethel’s house while ethel and her parents are out of town. when chuck arrives, veronica is there, claiming that she and betty want to “share” chuck. i cannot believe he falls for this for real. betty then comes out wearing a uma thurman “pulp fiction” wig and lingerie.

betty then roofies chuck, who wakes up handcuffed to the hot tub. while veronica records the scene, betty threatens to boil him alive in the hot tub and waterboards him with maple syrup unless he confesses to his crimes, the crimes of jason and for “destroying her”. after torturing him for an uncomfortable amount of time, they take their evidence to the principal. why they didn’t just do this in the first place i’ll never know. anyway chuck leaves the school and cheryl says, out loud, “#justiceforethel”.

meanwhile, archie gets a soundproof place in the garage to practice his music after spending the episode arguing with his dad. dilton doiley, the scoutmaster, tells jughead and betty he saw grundy’s car at the river the day of jason disappearance. episode END.

this turned out to be so much longer than i thought it would be, so i’m splitting it here. these are so long im sorry. god bless you and im sorry you had to read this. we still have like 10 eps left. i didnt know it would be like this but i need you to understand and believe how insane this series is.

thanks for readin

#riverdale

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jessiewre · 5 years

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Day 22

Sun 26th Jan 💜

It’s been a year to the day since we lost Nanny. That’s mad isn’t it. Miss that legend.

Woke up at about 5am because we’d gone to bed too early, but managed to power through and stay in bed till 7am. Phil got up and continued researching his new obsession - a half marathon near Kilimanjaro - and I joined him at 8:30am for Spanish omelette breakfast included in our 25$ a night room. Good deal that init. People say that in London you’re never further than like 5 meters away from a rat. Well thats like me and good deals, there’s always one close by for me to sniff out. Maybe I’m more like one of those pigs and the deals are truffles.

I digress...

The hostel manager was now wearing a chefs coat and I realised he was now the chef. What a multi-talented chap he was. I threw him into a frenzy by asking for salt, pepper, ketchup and chilli sauce, and eventually went into the kitchen myself to assist.

The ketchup was in a huge bucket bottle in the fridge and he gracefully glugged it out into a plastic squeezey bottle that he couldn’t find the lid for. Yum.

Shout out to Stella and Helen who will surely boke at that description of keptchup.

We got bodas to the Woman’s Centre for the recommended walking tour starting at 10am - but there was a big bike race on believe it or not, and so road blocks meant we had to walk the last kilometre. Phil was loving the bike race, I could see his legs twitching like he was imagining himself on a bike that moment, but I soon snapped him back to reality by power-walking ahead to avoid us being super late to the walk.

The sky was rapidly turning a dark shade of grey but Phil assured me that the weather report he’d checked stated that there would be no rain until midday or later.

You may be able to sense where this is going.

We arrived at the Centre and sat in the sofa area for the introduction, and the exact moment the woman began to talk and tell us about the community, the rain began to thunder on the metal roof and no one could hear a word she said. After 10 minutes, the intro finished and the rain actually calmed down a little, but then it went totally crazy again and me and Phil looked at each other like...hmm should we just not do this walking tour.

Another English girl there was thinking the same thing and the 3 of us decided to ditch the tour and head back the next day, while the 3 older people and a young American woman went off in the torrential rain with umbrellas. Umbrella’s are all good and well but I couldn’t see another soul on the streets so I seriously doubted how good a community walking tour would be in this weather. We chatted to the English girl, Esther, and she was ending a weeks work doing research for the Princes Trust who she works for. In a nutshell, she creates programmes for local groups in different countries to integrate technology into their lives to improve their prospects and quality of life. Really interesting! Phil mentioned that she should hang at our hostel later if she wanted as we were planning on trying out the bowling alley on site, and she was really up for that, especially considering she was in Kigali on her own and it was her last night.

The rain eventually calmed down enough for us to jump on a boda and we decided that considering the rain, it would be appropriate to visit the Genocide Museum at this point. We knew we were going to visit it at some point so made sense to be inside during the rain.

We were really hungry though and didn’t want to rush through the museum, so thankfully there was a cafe on site where we had a vege burger and vege panini, both with chips. We decided we’d try and lay off the chips for a while after that meal, it was the chip that broke the camels back.

The Rwandan Genocide museum was a harrowing and necessary visit.

The below information is upsetting, I’ll warn you now.

genocide

noun

noun: genocide; plural noun: genocides

1. the deliberate killing of a large group of people, especially those of a particular nation or ethnic group.

To briefly summarise, the problems began when the country was ‘colonised’ - or should we say if we’re being honest, when the country was invaded against its will. The Germans were first in 1899 then the Belgians in 1916 and then the Belgian’s decided to split the country into three different groups. Ultimately this created a sort of competition between the groups of people that had never existed before and this was what they say sparked the issues in the country. Fast forward to 1994, and the genocide officially began, over a period of 100 days - neighbours were murdering neighbours, friends were murdering friends. Relatives even betrayed each other. By turning people against each other, the ringleaders were able to sit back and watch the killings happen for them.

Being in the country now, its very difficult to imagine it happening, as it feels vibrant, friendly and safe. But the images in the museum leave you under no illusions. People were mindlessly slaughtered, no one was spared - children, pregnant women and men. It was absolutely mind-blowingly horrendous.

The museum talks a lot about how the international community sat back and let it happen, like Rwanda was on another planet that no one cared about. There is obviously a lot of pain from that which was difficult to read about.

But there were also a number of people who put themselves on the line by hiding people in their houses and gardens, saving many lives. Unfortunately, there were not enough of those people and over a million people were killed. They are still uncovering mass graves today.

There were videos playing with interviews from survivors talking about the guilt they feel from being the only member of their family who survived. But incredibly, they spoke about forgiveness and said they would like to forgive the perpetrators if they were willing to ask for forgiveness. They spoke about moving forward with only peace in mind, as this was what would move Rwanda forward in a peaceful way. By seeking revenge, the violence and pain would continue, they said. It’s unbelievable to hear that from someone who watched their innocent young siblings and mother murdered by machete in front of their very eyes. You can’t even imagine what this person has gone through.

One of the most difficult parts of the museum was The Children’s Room. This section had beautiful photos of child victims printed in large portraits displayed around the room, with a small plaque underneath each one with bullet points of information about the child, like:

Name

Age

Favourite Snack

Best Friend

 Then the final point for every child was

Cause of death

The descriptions here were detailed and distressing.

Obviously there is a huge amount of detail missing from this account of the genocide and I urge you to have a read about it if you have time and are interested.

We left there after a few hours taking it all in and went to find the Inema Art gallery, as we’d read about it being a really cool artists space that has had a lot of international interest.

It was different to what I expected, as there wasn’t actually a lot of pieces in there - more like a few extremely large pieces, each priced around $5000. So obviously, we bought two and headed off.

Well anyway, some of the artists were there stood near their art in smart clothes and were hoping for a super rich muzungu coming in and buying everything. That was not going to be us, so we thanked them and headed to the cafe for a little coffee.

Not before I asked them if there were any female artists there.

One guy said No, the women in Rwanda seem to stick to the craft-making and THEN he said that even though many are good at art, he thinks they are lacking in passion.

I said Hmm perhaps you means Confidence, not passion.

He was like Oh yeah, maybe that.

Yeah MAYBE THAT mate.

We boda’d back to the hostel and Phil donned up in his gear for a run. Just before heading off, he finally booked himself a spot onto the Kilimanjaro half marathon in Moshi, Tanzania on 1st March. FFS. Better get practicing on my excited supportive girlfriend look then.

Meanwhile I sat in the hostel garden watching videos on how to use Procreate on the iPad. Suddenly realised Phil had been gone AGES and then he rocked up having run like 10 MILES and then said Oh also, I may have tripped over and potentially broken my toe.

He’d taken out his phone to check the map and ended up kicking a bit of metal sticking out of the group, and then he’d fallen over and made a few new cracks on his phone screen (to join the 5 that were already there).

Wicked.

Phil had a quick shower and change while hobbling around on his bad foot (I hear broken toes are brilliant for half marathons), and Esther arrived at the hostel, so we went searching for a restaurant open on a Sunday. After a few fails, we eventually stumbled across a place called Afrika Bite and negotiated the 10k per person meaty Rwandan platter down to 5k each for a vegetarian version for all of us. It was so good! Garlic potatoes, peanut sauce, rice, vegetables, fried banana, salad, plus some ‘fish fingers’ ordered as an extra. Such a welcome relief to eat something local and delicious. Shout out to those who are reading this blog mainly for the food descriptions.

We went back to the hostel to play in East Africa’s 2nd bowling alley (the only other one is in Nairobi!) and Esther made sure she mentioned she had a ‘bad neck’. That would explain her unbelievably bad scoring thats for sure. Ok now to be fair, Phil the physio also advised that she use the heaviest ball available which turned out to be truly awful advise and after a stagnant run of about 2 points in 6 goes, she tried a really light ball - and actually hit some pins! Go Esther.

Can I also mention that this bowling alley had a system where a bloke hidden at the end would organise the pins and reset them for us manually using a kind of lever system. He always managed to move his hands out of the way before the ball struck the pins of course.

Esther headed back to her hotel and we ended up playing basketball on the two hoops game with Desire the manager. Our quick game of ‘How many can you score in 1 minute’ managed to take over our lives for over an hour. My record was 23, Phil’s 24 (he’s taller init) and Desire managed 33 (well, he works there so ya know). Was addictive and super fun and I got the impression Desire will spend the next year working on his pb.

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http-eiji · 6 years

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Okay so since this topic has come up again, let’s discuss BF and bury your gays.

In the trope “bury your gays” a gay needs to die because they are LGBT+, whether that’s because in the storyline they want to be all dramatic and the character commits suicide or it’s because they don’t want to keep an LGBT+ as part of the characters and so gets rid of them. The creators reasoning must (at least partly) be due to them being LGBT+.

I don’t think it was bury your gays (with Ash’s death) there’s some questionable content that I’ll get to in a moment but it wasn’t bury your gays.

In my post on the ending (which you can read here) I said some pretty strong stuff and I actually want to rewrite the whole section I did on bury your gays. (So if you do read it, please take that section with a pinch of salt).

No ones death in banana fish or any of Yoshida’s works were due to their sexuality or “queer-codedness”. Perhaps there was someone higher up putting pressure on her to do xyz in relation to certain characters but it wasn’t really bury your gays.

That being said there was some questionable stuff to do with the lgbt+ character endings vs the straight character endings that’s a little bit eye brow raising. I don’t think Yoshida had any ill intent with it, it was just a really poor choice.

In GOL Akira is introduced. She is Ibe’s niece and she is 13 years old. Her introduction, specifically to Sing, has a lot in common with Eiji and Ash. Sing is from this “other world” and Akira is naive and sheltered from it. Whilst their relationship, a heterosexual one, is being set up, we’re watching Eiji mourn his love. They parallel a gay relationship that ended in suffering to a straight relationship that would be fine.

In Yasha, Sing goes on to marry Akira, he takes over the Lee syndicate. Despite basically being a Mafia Don, he is able to maintain a fairly good home life, something that was taken from Ash because “karma for killing people” when Sing is out here literally running a syndicate and he’s totally okay. (I don’t really believe that “Karma” was Yoshida’s genuine reason for killing Ash but that’s a whole other topic.)

Meanwhile, we get introduced to two new LGBT characters. Their lives end in tragedy whilst the majority of straight characters are fine.

And then there’s Yut Lung, he’s definitely queer-coded. His death was pretty unnecessary in Yasha, it didn’t even have any impact.

Other than that there’s really only Eiji. Even if he didn’t die, what happened with Ash was still awful and did a lot of harm to his character. I’m not getting into the specifics of that but the ending definitely did more harm than good. We know from New York Sense that he did heal and start to look after himself (there’s a picture of him dated after GOL with his hair cut looking a lot more happy). So you could say he got out okay but that’s still fairly debatable.

It is likely this is mere coincidence and Yoshida just wasn’t thinking stuff through (bearing in mind Yasha ended in the early 2000s and Banana Fish the mid nineties, I really don’t fault Yoshida for it but we can still criticise.) I really don’t think BF was BYG but GOL was definitely questionable. I think Yasha is debatable. Yoshida 100% fell into a cliche of the time with Banana Fish, a few of the works she took as inspiration were Bury Your Gays. But Ash’s death had no correlation to his sexuality nor do I think the decision to kill him off was related to it. Hence why it isn’t bury your gays.

Bury your gays is a very complicated topic though. There’s a lot that purely down to opinion. Is it bury your gays if their deaths had nothing to do with their sexuality but they were the only LGBT+ characters in the show? Is it bury your gays if its a story from an LGBT+ creator who is just telling their own story?

I’m not interested in talking about the ending any more though, I’m willing to discuss more about BYG or even just LGBT+ stuff in Yoshidas works but don’t ask me stuff directly about the ending. (Like don’t send in asks about how Ash dying was bad/good. I’ve spoken a lot about it in the past and I’m more than done with that topic.)

Anyways I just wanted to give a little update on that because opinions can change. I’m going to work on a rewrite of that section. I just wanted to get my opinion out whilst this is a topic of conversation. Thanks for reading my on-the-spot rant.

#Discourse /#Ri Rants

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fairydust-stuff · 5 years

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Bosses of China Town

Banana Fish has a lot of awesome characters but I want to talk about the China Town gang bosses. I was originally going to talk about just Shorter, but he’s one of those characters who took a back seat until shortly before his own death. So I figured I could talk about Sing as well just to extend things a bit. Also I strongly disagree with the Sing is just another Shorter Wong, argument because these two have very different mindsets.

Shorter Wong is first introduced in the Short story “Angel Eyes” the first shot we get of him is Shorter writing his sister Nadia a letter. Ash is brought to the juvenile detention center and Shorter is assigned the responsibility of watching him. “That’s why I wanna put him in Block A with you. You got things under control over there” (pg. 45). This line from the guy in charge tells us Shorter has some authority over the other guys and deals with situations before things get out of hand. From the get go Shorter is presented as a leader who handles things before they get out of control.

Shorter’s first impulse is to try to be friendly towards Ash showing him around while warning the other guys not to try anything when they cat call Ash. “I’m supposed to look after you here, so you need any help with stuff or whatever shoot” (pg. 51). This shows that Shorter takes his responsibility towards Ash very seriously. It’s also kind of interesting how Shorter doesn’t like him at first referring to Ash as a brat in his head and even feeling wary of him. When two guys get into a fight over who gets to claim Ash. Shorter ends the fight by saying “You can duke it out with me Frankie” judging by the fact the guys back off, Shorter is not the kind of guy you want to fight. He also mentions Frankie tried to sexually assault him but Shorter fought him off emphasizing that he’s a good fighter.

There’s also a bit of a duel personality since Shorter tells Ash to let Frankie rape him but thinks about how practical or not this is awful advice and feels ashamed of saying this. “But his eyes said if you can’t or won’t help me, keep your big mouth shut and leave me alone!”(pg. 67). Shorter’s ability to realize Ash is a rape victim show he’s perceptive and suggests he has been exposed to these kinds of stories numerous times. Shorter even casually asks if Ash was arrested for child prostitution. He also tells off the guys for trying to obtain Ash even though he told Ash to just let it happen. This shows Shorter can’t bring himself to let Ash get raped again. Later Ash challenges Frankie and defeats him easily later he tells Shorter he got the idea to challenge the other guy because of him “I didn’t decide to go easy on him but I know how thanks to you” (pg. 83). Ash informs Shorter. This causes Shorter to become rather scared of Ash.

Later its revealed Ash faked sexual interest in one of the other juvie boys to find out if Frankie was actually an assassin sent to kill him. Shorter calls him out for being a user to which Ash gets testy and reminds the other boy Ricardo wanted to use him for sex. Shorter retorts with “Don’t play games with people’s feelings! Cuz if you do that- you’re no different from those assholes you hate!” (108). this seems to be something Ash kind of forgets later on, but this exchange causes Ash to reveal his honest feelings about being objectified, which Shorter listen’s to. I know fans get wrapped in how special Eiji is to Ash and I’m not denying that however Eiji was not the first person to treat Ash with kindness, it was actually Shorter who was the first person to treat Ash like a person. Shorter was the first guy who listened to Ash and dared call him out.

“Angel Eyes” characterizes Shorter as the kind of guy who tries to be practical, but due to his compassion often goes against what makes sense in favor of what he believes is right. This trait of Shorter’s shows up again in Banana Fish vol 4. It’s revealed here that Shorter works under the Chinese Mafia. Hua lee asks Shorter to spy on Ash and his group. “Forget it Ash is my friend and I don’t stab my friends in the back!” (146 pg.) he declares. However, Shorter does agree to work with the Lee’s because Hua gets in his head. “Beautiful words but remember Ash is a white punk and you and I share the same proud heritage” (146). This is important because it seems to imply Shorter’s has a misplaced sense of nationalism.

This is further elaborated on in a conversation between Yut Lung and Shorter, where Yut reminds Shorter of the bloody history of the Chinese families in power. “Often of their own relatives their own children our ancestors in the ruling family of the Ching Dynasty committed murder and assassination” (153). As I stated in my previous piece “The Flying Boy and the Snake” Yut often acts as a guide that encourages other characters to look at the less pleasant aspects of their situation. This suggests that Shorter views his own cultural heritage and the Chinese Mafia in an idealized way. He does not see the complexities of a very complicated cultural history with both good and bad points. Shorter’s idealization is further emphasized by him telling Yut they like Eiji “Because he’s innocent and honest” which is actually a really simplistic view of who Eiji is as a person.

Shorter’s reaction is to pull a knife on Yut because once he finds out the Lee’s are working for Dino his image of them shatters. “I was raised to respect you! To look up to the Lee family” (180). It’s implied that Shorter and his family as American immigrants wanted to view someone as being on their side. “It’s because of the Lee Family that we can be safe here. That we can live and put down roots in this feign soil because the Lee’s are here to protect us” Shorter laments. Though Shorter, Banana Fish seems to express a kind of wary ness towards the idea of complete loyalty to one’s own kind at the expense of everyone else. The Mob is the mob and cultural heritage doesn’t erase that Banana Fish argues. “You’re no better than Papa Dino! Just another Mob! Leeches who live off the blood of others” (181) Shorter declares. These are the kinds of loyalties that bind gangs and mafia together blood, and where you come from your ethnicity from are often manipulation tactics used by those in power to control and use others to their benefit.

Shorter despite dying horribly does so because he goes against what he was taught for the first time in his life. “I’ll protect Eiji with my own life. I won’t let them hurt him”(pg. 31) Shorter declares in vol 5. Trying to protect Eiji no matter how fruit ness it seems is all he can do at this point. While he ultimately fails to shelter Eiji and has him forcefully snatched from his arms. This does show that Shorter has learned the hard way to place friendship above nationalism.

Though unintentionally or not there’s still kind of a flawed ideology in the fact Shorter vows to an unconscious Eiji he’ll kill him to preserve his innocence. “If Dino tries to make you into his pet I’ll take you out before you know what’s happening” (69). Shorter has more traditional values and maybe that’s the point. Shorter’s death maybe a symbolic representation of older pro mafia attitudes rooted in nationalism and blood ties dying out.

After a couple of re watches and rereads of the manga, I realized Sing had to be brought in because despite being Shorter’s successor. Sing Soo ling does things differently from Shorter. Sing offers to team up with Ash’s former gang members to take Dino’s manor. “Our suits did a deal with Dino Golzine but that’s got nothing to do with us” (pg. 179). While Shorter idealized the Lee’s, Sing refers to them as the suits viewing them as a kind of beaurcracy whose dealings are far removed from his gang.

He also shows himself to be more practical then Shorter wanting to actually make a plan before attacking Golzine’s manor. “We’re here to rescue our respective bosses. If we don’t know where we can attack from and how to get out we’ll just die like dogs. And I sure as hell don’t plan on committing mass suicide with you guys” (pg. 50). Sing informs them. Later when he’s told Ash killed Shorter, Sing wants to wait to hear Ash out and receive an explanation. When Ash won’t give him one Sing reverts to rules of the street and tries to take him out.

Later when Sing joins Yut in his helicopter he admits they only reason he put up with the Lee’s bossing them around was out of respect for Shorter. “Because we’re sick and tired of em that’s why! The old guys and all their deals (172). In contrast to Shorter who in Yut’s own words respected his elders. Sing has a disgust for a traditional older generation who he finds oppressive due to their backroom deals that screw people like him and Shorter over.

It’s also of note how Sing behaves towards Yut in contrast to Shorter. While Shorter agreed to obey Yut because of his name and showed subservience towards him at first. His protégée flat out questions Yut a lot. “Or do you just think the lower class doesn’t need know?”(128). In Vol 9 Sing tells Yut “Look I know you saved before but that doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do with it (Pg. 74). Sing is fine working with Yut but he doesn’t want to be his lackey and makes that very clear. When Yut is taken hostage by Eiji in vol 10. Sing goes after them in contrast to Yut’s bodyguard who yells that he’s going against master’s orders. Sing chooses to save rather than obey by going after them. “In case you never noticed I don’t take orders from him!”(pg. 18).

However Sing shares Shorter’s sense of compassion when he realizes Yut wants Eiji to shoot him he tries to communicate with him only to be shut out and told to leave. Sing responds by saying “Easy to say, harder to do” (pg. 31). This implies he doesn’t want to leave Yut but realizes that Eiji is running around a dangerous neighborhood at night and that takes priority. Sing saves Eiji from attempted rapists and nurses him back to health, giving him a safe place to stay. He also saves Yut again later on from an assassin even after he’s cut ties with him.

In vol 13 Sing later follows in Shorter’s footsteps by going against Yut when he finds out he’s working with Golzine. “ If your going to keep up this little partnership of yours- I might end up giving that Japanese kid some backup”(pg. 95). However, it’s not so much a sense of morals it’s more of a street code. If Yut wasn’t working with the guys who killed Shorter I honestly doubt Sing would care. “ Golzine’s the one who was giving Arthur orders and he’s the one who gave Shorter that drug”(pg. 95) Sing emphasizes. I just want to point out it’s not a conflict of morality but one of interests between the two of them. Sing likes Yut but he has obligations as boss to avenge Shorter. Sing’s role as boss often conflicts with his personal feelings. He is obligated to fight Ash to avenge Shorter in the eyes of his gang and must perform this function. Yet its clear Sing does not want to fight Ash not only because he doesn’t want to die but as Sing tells Lao in vol 14 “ The only one who can keep a lid on the downtown turf is Ash got that!” (pg. 53). Sing is the out of all the main bosses the one who thinks of the bigger picture beyond revenge and basic power plays.

Sing is much more concerned with the safety of his gang. Later in vol 15 he wakes up at Ash’s hideout and his first concern is his guys even though Sing himself is injured. “ Because it ain’t your buddies that’re gonna be skinned alive!”(pg. 117). This takes priority for him over who has the most power or pursuit of revenge. Unlike the Lee’s Sing cares about his own people even though it’s never at the expense of other individuals. This is what turns him aginst Yut since the other boy targets others out of jealousy. However unlike Ash, Sing does not pursue revenge in the end. As depicted in vol 16, when Ash gives Sing an out not to fight him Sing takes it. He also can’t bring himself to shoot Yut lung in vol 18 despite his betrayal. “ Cuz your hurt your soul’s bleeding even now”(174) Sing says.

Interestingly enough, Sing claims he too is responsible for the invasion of China Town “ But the bad blood between us created an opening for the Vietnamese and Arbs and I guess that’s my fault as well as yours”(171). This suggests that Banana Fish lays the blame of corruption at the feet of feuding authority figures and that maybe Sing’s rule of the street. As Sing reminds Yut like it or not “ Your still our leader” and convinces the lee heir to help him fix China town since “ China towns gone to the dogs people can’t even walk around safely in broad daylight”(173). These are the reasons it’s Sing and not Shorter who is the one to repair China town. Shorter is a relatively good person, at least by these series standards with a lot of empathy. However he was too willing to bend to the Lee’s whims and never question and challenge anything they did. Even before Shorter is injected with Banana Fish it’s heavily implied he’s given up hope entirely. Thinking the best scenario is for him to kill Eiji and then himself. Shorter exits being used as a tool to get to Ash and anger him being put down like a dog to end his suffering. Sing represents a newer generation that didn’t absorb fully nationalist ideas and loyalty to the mafia.

While he does still value his own ethnic group and their needs he questions whether the Lee’s are what’s best for the citizens of China Town. Even when he’s willing to work with Yut, Sing makes it clear he’s not going to be a blind lacky. Sing when faced with the messy reality of Chinatown crumbling due to his and Yut’s feud tries to repair the rift between them. He is in the position do something since Sing post phoned and eventually decided not to die because of some honor bound purpose. At the end of the day Sing chooses to survive, repair and unite the different fractions for a common goal. However Sing was very much inspired by and driven by the empathy, sense of responsibility and love he learned from Shorter these are the same lessons Sing teaches Yut. I think both Shorter and Sing have their flaws and both bosses ideologies loyalty to one’s own kind above all else and street code can both be downright be toxic when taken to extremes but I think both are equally well written characters and important to understanding Banana Fish’s theme of unity in the face of oppression.

Citations Yoshida, Akimi. Banana Fish Vol 3. Shogakukan inc,1987 Yoshida,Akimi.Banana Fish Vol 4. Shogakukan inc,1987 Yoshida,Akimi.Banana Fish Vol 5. Shogakukan inc,1987 Yoshida,Akimi. Banana Fish Vol 6. Shogakukan inc,1987 Yoshida, Akimi. Banana Fish Vol 9. Shogakukan inc,1987 Yoshida, Akimi. Banana Fish Vol 10. Shogakukan inc,1987 Yoshida, Akimi.Banana Fish Vol 13. Shogakukan inc, 1987 Yoshida, Akimi. Banana Fish Vol 14. Shogakukan inc,1987 Yoshida,Akimi.Banana Fish Vol 15. Shogakukan inc, 1987 Yoshida,Akimi.Banana Fish Vol 16. Shogakukan inc, 1987 Yoshida,Akimi.Banana Fish Vol 18. Shogakukan inc, 198

#Banana Fish #sing soo ling #shorter wong #Yut lung #ash linx #eiji okumura #character essay

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curestardust · 6 years

Text

if you want: (copy-pasting from my previous review cause it didn’t change) well, it’s BNHA lmao / amazing animation / amazing music / shounen / superpowers and heroes / to have a good fucking time

BNHA S01 review: (x)

DAMMNNN

For the techinical aspects, feel free to read my previous review. The music, the voice-acting. everything brings the same quality as S01, most notable of which is the animation. I was sorta worried that the longer run time will lead to more sloppy shots and such but I really shouldn’t have, it’s just as amazing as it was in the beginning.

Season 2 has 3 arcs. The sports festival, the internships and the final exam. As someone who grew up on Yuu Yuu Hakusho, I was obviously excited for the sports festival arc as it brought us something that every good shounen has: a tournament. The internships bring our attention back to Midoriya while the final exam serves as a nice wrap-up to the season.

Being such a franchise, as interesting Midoriya’s journey is, it needs some great side-characters which we get plenty of. The characters set-up as more important in season 1 get some really great character building moments, solidifying their personalities and goals. We also have a few more who get thrust into the highlight, namely Todoroki, who serves as a great middle-ground between Midoriya’s sweet and Bakugo’s intense personality.

The rest of the class also get some time to shine, bringing us closer to them and making it feel like we’re truly watching a whole class’s journey instead of just a select few. Alas, they didn’t have as much relevance as in the USJ attack in S01 but still were enjoyable to watch.

All in all, I’m truly amazed. There was some filler and some slower points in the anime where my attention wavered for a second but BNHA always managed to bring me back, making me exhilarated throughout the whole thing.

I can’t wait to dive into S03 and see where these characters’ roads lead to and how the story progresses. (9/10) (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

if you want: tragic gays / gritty, dark and depressing story / 80′s USA with a focus on the mafia and a bit on gangs

WARNING: Banana Fish contains a lot of possibly triggering content. Please be careful if you’re sensitive to: Pedophilia, Rape (the act is never shown just the aftermath) (both are brought up, talked about and happen multiple times)

Banana Fish, or as it’s affectionately called, “Banana Gay”, was my last anime left over from the Summer season.

BF is...horrible. But in a good way. But also in a bad way...what I’m trying to say is that if you become attached to the characters’ in the beginning, you won’t be able to take a single breath throughout the whole runtime of this anime. Literally every episode has some sort of twist or event that made me wanna scream “NOOOO” and it just doesn’t let up! There are very, very few slower parts where you can finally relax for a second but then you blink and the craziness starts all over again. It’s like a really exhausting roller coaster ride.

So what is it about anyway? BF is based on a manga by the same name that was written in the 80′s. It takes place in the USA and we follow a boy named Ash. He is basically the powerful pet of the mafia boss and the leader of the gangs in the downtown area. We start out with Ash rebelling against the mafia. The rest of the anime is just a combination of gang wars, manipulation, shootings, murder and all kinds of disgusting shit that’s typical for most fictional stories taking place in the USA in this time period.

And while the premise and the execution is alright, it’s not interesting enough to draw such a fanbase as it did. And this is where the “Gay” part comes in, as Banana Fish is basically just a tragic love story. And yes, love story, without quotation marks cause if any of these 2 were a woman, people would 100% call it that so no one can say anything, period. Anyway, in the beginning we are also introduced to a young Japanese guy called Eiji, who comes with his friend, a photographer, as his assistant. Ash and Eiji’s very first meeting sets them up as a peculiar pair. Eiji comes off as very naive, sweet and innocent and yet he isn’t scared of Ash despite knowing that he is a gang leader. This fascinates Ash and we go from there, basically. Their personalities are like ice and fire. Ash becomes incredibly attached to Eiji and wants to protect him at all cost (even with his life if necessary). Eiji returns the sentiment, although in a much more subtle matter. Their relationship is what kept me personally completely invested but it was fucking painful cause nothing seems to go right for these two, sigh.

From a technical standpoint, Banana Fish has as many flaws as positives. As I said, if you get attached to the characters, these flaws will be easier to ignore but they are still there and due to this being a 2-cour series, some of the annoying stuff is there long enough to actually become annoying.

The story itself is going in a 100 different directions with many players on opposing sides. There was a huge problem which only became prevalent near the last third of the anime. That is, there was seemingly a limit as to how high the stakes could be. We start from more minor stuff but with time the threats become bigger and the stumbles become deadlier and deadlier. However, at one point it starts to seem like we’re going in circles. The situation literally can NOT become any more deadlier and thus sometimes it feels like we’re reliving the same plot points over and over again, just in different settings. This isn’t helped by the fact that some characters are hellbent on their decisions and no matter what happens they will not consider anything else.

The animation and the music are both really good but some cracks show through. With the music, it uses multiple genres: melancholic classical instruments and pulsing synth heavy electronic tracks for example. All of the tracks are really pleasant to listen to however they were not used in the best way. Some scenes were missing some background music to elevate our emotions. The art style and animation are a bit unique but you can get used to it in a few minutes. Choppy linework and muted colours create a nice aesthetic with fluid animation especially during combat. Unfortunately, it does have some wonky shots but that wasn’t what annoyed me most but the inconsistent shots. From one angle a character is looking at the wall then when the camera switches to another angle they’re looking at the speaker. From one angle they have their arms crossed, from the next their arms are at their sides. It’s kind of minor but I still couldn’t help but notice and get taken out of the story for a few seconds.

To wrap up...I don’t like the ending. Don’t worry, I won’t be spoiling anything however I got accidentally spoiled on it and I’m honestly glad cause I’m pretty sure I would’ve started screaming like a lunatic if I didn’t. The ending feels a bit rushed. Banana Fish tries to quickly wrap up most plot points but we don’t particularly see their outcome. It was...uhm. Well, let me just say, I wasn’t satisfied and will now on just ignore the canon. mkay.

I really wanted to downgrade this to a 7 because of the ending but it was a pretty wild and entertaining ride so I don’t think that’d be deserved. Banana Fish is definitely not for everyone but if you are interested in stories set in these settings you might give this a go (and now goodbye, time to read the manga) (8/10) (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

#Boku no Hero Academia #My Hero Academia #my hero academia season 2 #my hero academia s02 #my hero academia s2 #boku no hero academia season 2 #boku no hero academia s2 #boku no hero academia s02 #damn i love this anime but all this tags are killing me #Banana Fish #only 2 reviews this time cause the BF one turned out much longer than i planned to #dusty reviews

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soul-music-is-life · 6 years

Note

Prompt idea: Sam being one of the kids who gets excited when they get a banana for Christmas when they’re toddlers and maybe one of the other liars kids gives it to him as a joke to film him and he reacts positively? Maybe?

I’ve got a couple ofholiday themed prompts in my inbox, but this one actually kind of struck alittle chord in me because earlier this week I was having a conversation witha friend who has a new baby at home and we were talking about how it’s alwaysthe little things that matter around the holidays. We both grew up in poorhouseholds, so we were happy to get little things. And kids who get excited about the little things have a special place in my heart. I made this one insanely long for you guys (hence the “read more” cut). So, yeah, Happy Holidays!

***

Quick guide to “who that baby-daddy” PLL edition, because there’s a hella lot of kids running around…it’s your own fault for talking me into writing these families.

Fitz kids: Finn and AuroraRivers kid: CamiCavanaugh kids: Bailey and VioletDiLaurentis-Fields kids (like I have to tell you?): Grace, Lily, SamDiLaurentis (Jason and his wife Danielle) kids: Leo and Maddox

***

The DiLaurentis-Fields’ house was the most decked out houseon the street, inside and out. The flashing lights that made their place looklike a scene out of Chevy Chase’s ChristmasVacation drew in people driving by. They stopped to look at all thedecorations and the timed light show that Emily had set up this year.

Inside, the house smelled of everything Christmas-y. Pine,Cinnamon, Cocoa, peppermint, and the pure joy of children ripping open presents andsquealing in delight when they got something they’d been dreaming of all year.

No one got more excited about their gifts than the youngestmember of the family, three and a half year old Sam DiLaurentis-Fields. He had a slew of toys thathad been given to him by his moms’ closest friends, who had joinedthem for a Christmas dinner at their house.

The toddler had insisted that everyone else open up theirpresents first, so now that all of the kids had their new gadgets andplaythings he was the center of attention. He went through each one of his presentsslowly and meticulously, each one more exciting than the last. He was startingto get to an age where he could appreciate the joy of receiving gifts. He wassitting by the Christmas tree, his face illuminated by the lights. He was surrounded by everything he’d been given.

He’d gotten a train set from Finn and Aurora Fitz, Aria andEzra’s kids. Nine-year-old Finn had helped his new little sister pick it out.They had adopted her nearly a year ago. She had just turned five and it was her first bigChristmas with her new family. She’d taken an instant shine to Sam, because hewas close to her age and she liked his enthusiasm. He also had a very obvious crush on her.

Sam glanced at his new toys. He’d gotten a shark pillow and a set of Legos from CamiRivers, Caleb and Hanna’s thirteen-year-old daughter. Spencer and Toby’s youngerdaughter Violet, who had just turned twelve, had helped her pick out the newLego set for him. Their older daughter Bailey had gotten him a bubble machineand a bunch of candy.

His cousins, Leo and Maddox, along with their dad Jason, hadbuilt him a play set in the back yard. His twin sisters, Lily and Grace, whohad just passed their sixteenth birthday milestone had bought him a scooter anda drum set, something their mothers had advised them against…because they knewhe’d beat on it at all hours.

When he’d opened the drums the twins had grinnedat their moms. Alison had given them an “I’m going to kill you both in yoursleep” death glare, but Emily thought it was hilarious. She’d even called Sam “OurLittle Drummer Boy”.

Now, there was only one present that remained. Cami was theone who leaned down and plucked it out from underneath the tree. She handed itto him and smiled.

“Now, this one is reallyspecial, Sam. All of us chipped in to get this just for you.”

The rest of the kids giggled. Bailey and Grace both pulledout their cell phones to record him. He stared at the poorly wrapped package,but the presentation of the gift didn’t matter to him. He looked up at the otherkids with a nervous smile on his little face, like he was afraid he wasn’tworthy of the gift, because wow, theyhad ALL gotten it for him. It had to be really cool.

“Go ahead, munchkin.” Lily encouraged him. “Open it.”

He carefully peeled away the paper, dropping it as he pickedthe thin material apart. After a few seconds he had it totally unwrapped.

More snickers from the kids. The adults just watched incuriosity.

“What’chu got there, Sammy?” Emily asked.

“I got a banana!!” He exclaimed. He looked up, the tornwrapping paper in his lap. He had an excited look on his face as he lookeddirectly into Grace’s camera phone. “It’s my favorite!”

“It is?” Grace laughed.

“Yeah!” His voice squeaked. He stood up, holding the bananalike it was the most precious thing in the world. “Mommies! Mommies, look it!”He ran over to Alison and Emily.

“We see, buddy.” Alison smiled, completely caught off-guardby his reaction.

His mouth was open wide and his eyes were sparkling withdelight. There was no faking his pure joy. He really actually loved it. Hewalked over to Cami and hugged her.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

All of the kids’ sniggers had turned into genuine “aws” ofaffection. Sam went around and hugged everyone in the room and thanked them,something he hadn’t done for any other of his gifts. After he hugged Aurora hesmiled at her.

“‘Rora!” He couldn’t say her name just right yet. “Look! Igot a banana!”

“I like it. It’s really cool. Can I see it?” She shylyreplied.

“Uh huh.” He handed it to her and she turned around andfaced her parents who were across the room.

“Can we get one, too?”

“I’ll check with Santa.” Ezra smiled at his daughter.

“I just bought some.” Aria whispered. “Remind me to put twoin her stocking tonight.”

“Two? Whoa there big spender.” Spencer pushed Aria with aplayful smile.

“Here you go, Sam.” Aurora gave him his present back. Sheleaned against her new brother with a smile and hugged him. “Finn, mom and dad said Santa is gonna bring us a banana, too.”

“I heard.” Finn nodded, hugging her back.

Sam leaned down next to his dog Buster’s bed, where the dogwas watching all of the action unfold.

“Look what I got, Buster!”

The dog lifted his head and sniffed the banana, then he laidback down with a yawn. Sam gripped his banana with both hands and turned aroundto see that he was still being recorded. He looked at Bailey’s camera.

“Are you gonna eat it?” Bailey asked.

“No!” Sam exclaimed with a little laugh. “I’mma save it. It’sspecial.” He crawled on the couch, mindlessly talking to himself as he oftendid when he was happy and excited.

It was the funniest thing in the world to everyone watchinghim, because he’d been eating bananas since he was a baby. He saw them everyday. Yet, for some reason, this one was special.

“Jason got him a jungle gym for the boys to play on and a banana is his favorite present?” Alisoncouldn’t believe it. She faced Emily. “I’m starting to wonder if he’s reallyours. Maybe he was switched at birth.”

“What? You wouldn’t have been happy with a banana?” Emilyknew the answer, but she poked her in the ribs with a teasing grin.

“Are you kidding? I would have screamed until I passed out.”

‘So, basically, every date night.” Emily winked, whisperingso only Alison could hear her, though Spencer was standing close enough to catchit.

Spencer snorted out a quiet laugh. Alison glared at her.

As the night wore on, everyone settled down. Toby, Caleb, Ezra,and Jason took the boys to go get ice cream. The girls were going to a movie. Samwas still traipsing through the house with his banana. He hadn’t put the thingdown since he’d gotten it. They could see where it was starting to bruise.

“He’s going to be devastated when he finds out the shelflife of a banana.” Alison grimaced.

“We’ll just keep replacing it like we did the girls’goldfish.” Emily shrugged.

“You what?” Grace’sjaw dropped open. “Not Laurence Goldfishburne!”

“Oh, come on Grace…how did you not notice?” Lily laughed. “He shrank two sizes overnight once.”

“I just thought he was on a diet.” She faced her motherswith a frown. “How much fish blood do you have on your hands? How many poorlittle goldfishes were flushed to keep up your lies?”

“I lost count after the twelfth one,” Alison said, almostuncaring. “Ridiculous having to pay for fish that lasted all of two weeks…” she muttered.

“So when he finally died for good…seven years later…we were burying a perfect stranger?” Grace asked.

“Tamp it down, kid. God, you are so dramatic.” Alison snorted.

“Wonder where she gets that from.” Hanna peered at Alisonover her wine glass.

“Didn’t your daughter get called into the office for back-talking a teacher right before the holiday?” Alison frowned, but her manner was that of someone who was joking.

“Only because the teacher can’t handle the same sass she gave our teachers all those years ago.” Hanna eyed Alison with a smirk.

“She started a fire in class, Hanna,” Alison replied dryly.

“Allegedly!” Cami exclaimed from the kitchen.

The adults laughed.

“I wouldn’t have sent you to the office had you not made that remark about me living through the stone ages while we were reading 1984!”

Emily had to laugh. A fire was fine. But a shot at her age was where she drew the line?

“It was a protest! I was just expressing my thoughts about the book!”

“And she’s still sassing me.” Alison shook her head.

“That’s my girl.” Hanna smiled.

“I can’t believe you lied to us about Laurence Goldfishburne.” Grace was still stuck on her long-dead fish. “My heart can’t process this. On Christmas, no-less,” Grace said with a fake whimper. “I’m going to need at least two…” She thought about it.“…maybe three hundred dollars cash and a new iPhone to process this grief.”

“Mmhmm. You’re getting the car for the night and enoughmoney to get you snacks at the movies with your friends.” Emily smiled.

“Well, it doesn’t bring him back. But it’s a start.”

Sam accidentally dropped the banana and then gasped andleaned down.

“I sorry, fwiend.” He picked the banana back up. “Are youokay?”

“That’s going to leave a mark.” Alison bit her lip.

“At least we won’t have to have a funeral for the fruit.”Emily pointed out.

“You two are terrible mothers.” Grace rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah.” Alison messed with Grace’s hair. She handedLily the car keys. “Be home before curfew. And you girls drive safe and behave.”

“Yes, ma’am.” They replied at the same time.

“Sammy, bath time.” Emily walked towards the toddler.

Normally he fought bath time. He’d started rebelling againstit when he was two. But tonight was different, because he knew that tomorrowwas Christmas. He basically bolted up the stairs while stripping out of hisclothes.

Emily gave him his bath. Alison brought in his favorite “Grinch”pajamas and they dried him off and helped him get dressed.

He jetted towards his room, Emily and Alison following. Whenthey walked in they looked at his bed. There, settled among his plethora of stuffedanimals neatly aligned at the head of his bed was his beloved banana.

He pushedall but one stuffed animal and his banana off the bed and then climbed underthe covers. They squeezed in next to him in his big-boy racecar bed and readhim “The Night Before Christmas”.

“…and they heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, MerryChristmas to all…”

“And to all a good night!” Sam interrupted Alison.

Emily and Alison both laughed at his enthusiasm. Alisonkissed his forehead. Then he turned towards Emily and she did the same.

“Love you, mommies,” he said, his voice sluggish and tired.

“You sleep well, Sammy.” Emily snuggled him. He gave her abig hug.

Alison and Emily both quietly slipped out of the bed. He wasalmost off in dreamland. He had a stuffed puppy under his arm and his banana snuggledup next to his face.

“You really like your banana, buddy?” Emily asked, pullingthe covers up over his body, tucking him in. She was unable to resist givinghim another goodnight kiss.

“I love my banana.” He nodded, trying to fight his sleep.

“Why?” Alison asked.

“Cuz…” He yawned. “I have to make sure my minions have a happy Christmas, too.”

“Your…minions?” Alison asked in surprise.

“Minions love bananas and I wanna be the best evil boss inthe whole wide world, just like Gru. I want my minions to have a family justlike you and Mama and Grace and Lily.”

Aww, if that wasn’t the sweetest…yet, most evil thing, he’dever said…

“And then me and my minions and ‘Rora and her minions aregonna take over the whole planet.”

“Love you, little minion.” Alison laughed and gave him another smooch.

“Mommy, you’re silly. I’mnot the minion. I’m their boss.”

“Of course. Of course you are, sweetie.” Alison stroked hishead.

He yawned again. And minutes later he was asleep. The excitementhad worn him out. They quietly tip-toed out of his room. They pulled his dooruntil it was nearly closed and then walked down the hallway, sharing smilingglances at one another.

“Minions?” Emily snorted as they walked into their room.

“I was wrong. He’s definitelyours.” Alison laughed. “Should we tell Aria her daughter is planning on worlddomination with our son?”

“No wonder Aurora wanted bananas, too.” Emily snickered.

“It’s funny. I always thought if any of our kids were going to turn out to be evil masterminds itwould be Spencer’s girls.”

“Or Grace.” Emily thought about it.

“That child has been a little deviant since birth. I betthat’s where Sam got it from.”

“So…next year we’re getting him a nuclear fusion reactor withlasers and a freeze ray, right?”

“Oh, definitely.” Alison nodded. “Our son is not taking overthe world unless he’s doing it in style.”

Even though their son had revealed himself as a super-villain,on Christmas Eve no-less, just the fact that he had his minions in mind andwanted them to have a Happy Christmas warmed their hearts. It made them want togo out and buy every banana on the shelf at their local grocery store. After all,what good was a super-villain and his minions without loving and supportiveparents?

#Pretty Little Liars #PLL #Emison #Emison prompt #Christmas prompt

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nanonaturalist · 6 years

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Yo! I’m an Anthropology student but I’m super fascinated with entomology n’ the like. Any tips for how to self study entomology/get started? How did you become the bug lover you are today?

Sup! I am a HUGE animal lover. Like, I don’t think you understand how much I love animals. Back when google image search was this crazy new thing, I would google things like “puffer fish” and literally start crying from how cute and precious they were. I don’t remember ever not liking bugs. I was bringing in caterpillars when my age was single digits, which I named and kept in shoe boxes, and who would invariably wander out and make a random cocoon somewhere.

STORY TIME! (what? you wanted a short answer? Sorry!)

… (actually check out this post from a while back [link] about tips for getting started, it was written for a high school student but most of the things I mention are good for all ages)…

Thing is, this was the point in history when you needed to use a card catalog to look a book up in the library. No idea what I’m talking about? That’s how long ago this was. If there was a book about bugs in the school book order form, I would ask for it (and sometimes I’d get one), but that was the full extent of my knowledge pool for things that we weren’t directly taught about in school. In 4th grade, we had a unit on marine animals (with the most amazing field trip on a research boat ever, omg the scuba divers brought up things for us to touch, and we got to look at plankton in the microscope eeeeeee!), and it was like I was reborn. I memorized everything we learned, including the taxonomy of cnidaria (jellies, anemones, corals) and strange eating habits of echinoderms (starfish, urchins). I got REAL into this stuff, to the point where 4 years later, I told anybody who asked me that when I grew up, I was going to get a PhD in Marine Biology.

There was just one problem. You can’t get a degree in any kind of animal biology without doing dissections or killing things. Remember, I’m an animal Lover with a capital L. I wanted to be a vegetarian starting at age 4 (parents said no, but I picked meat out of everything until I made it official at 12). So I gave up on biology real quick. Flash forward about ten years to 2006. I had graduated from college (with a psychology degree that cost me $70,000), was working soul-sucking jobs, and needed a hobby. But wait, DIGITAL CAMERAS ARE A THING! WOW! So I picked up “crappy nature photography” as a hobby. And what did I take pictures of with my First Ever Digital Camera when I bought one that summer?

I found this longhorn beetle on the hood of my car at a rest stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Missouri. But back in 2006… What are you going to do with pictures of bugs when you have no background in biology? I posted some on LiveJournal, and that was that. What kind of bug was it? I couldn’t even tell you that it was a beetle at that point. And when I was going through my old photos more recently, I couldn’t even remember seeing it.

I still took photos of basically everything I saw, but nothing ever really happened with them.

Who are these? At the time (photos are from 2006 to 2009), the most I could have told you was “dragonfly, wasp, spider, caddisfly larva.” Which is pretty good, I guess, but I didn’t even realize how much diversity I was missing out on by not going any deeper.

Me + Slugs: Left - Banana Slug in Redwood National Forest, CA (2008); Center and Right - Chocolate Arion Slug at my apartment in Redmond, WA (2006)

Time passes, nature photos are taken. I will take photos of any bug I see, but I don’t intentionally seek them out and I never know what any of them are. Now flash forward to 2013, when I moved from Seattle, WA to Austin, TX.

My mind was blown. The bugs were huge, strange, and EVERYWHERE. I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT THEY WERE! But… It was still hard. At this point, looking things up on the internet was just what you did, but … what was I supposed to look up? “Giant screaming thing in my potted plant that looks like a leaf?” “Pile of handsnails?” I took pictures, shared them on Facebook (nobody used Livejournal anymore!), and went about my day.

At this point, I had gone back to college to study engineering (I moved to Austin for grad school), and somehow ended up watching a lot of youtube. SciShow got me onto VlogBrothers, which got me onto The Brain Scoop (@thebrainscoop), which got me onto tumblr *waves*. And I was thinking some hard thoughts about what I actually wanted to do when I grew up because I was tired of soul-sucking jobs. Hey, I love museums (that’s actually where most of my science knowledge came from), so I started thinking about careers in science museums, and I followed UT’s collection page on Facebook. One day in 2015, they shared an event for a Bioblitz, sponsored by several groups associated with UT and Texas Parks and Wildlfie. What’s a Bioblitz? I had no idea. So I clicked.

Basically, you take as many pictures of living things as you can. There were subject matter experts who would lead you on hikes and tell you what things were and how you can tell them apart (WAIT, WHAT?!?). The event required that you download this new nature app called iNaturalist (@inaturalist), which is where you would post the photos you took. With the data you posted from the app, other users of the website would identify your photos, and the state park we were at would use that data to create species checklists to track what occurred there. Your iNat account kept a permanent log of all of your observations. I tend to be extremely skeptical/resistant to new technologies and being told to do things, so at first I wanted to know what was wrong with the way I took photos NOW, I didn’t need some stupid website telling me what to do.

But then I started testing it out before the event.

Two of my first iNat observations (both butterflies). Left: Henry’s Elfin caterpillar; Right: American Lady butterfly. Links to iNat observations.

I had no idea where to start with identifying either of these, and the Henry’s Elfin caterpillar took me a few years to ID myself. But the American Lady? People told me what it was within hours of me posting it. Within hours.

About a week later, the Bioblitz happened. It was perfect. For the first time in my life, I was surrounded by people who were just like me. They wanted to go on long slow walks through nature, turning over logs and walking directly into ponds and poking at insects, all while taking photos of things and identifying them. I was spending the weekend with real life biologists and I was learning everything I could. And the things I saw?

HOLY CARP. Texas has dung beetles?! (top left) Parasitic wasps REALLY DO THAT? (braconid wasp cocoons on inchworm caterpillar, top right) Diving beetles?! (water scavenger beetle, bottom left) Giant fishing spiders?! (bottom right)

This event was the moment I “got started” with entomology. I regularly used iNaturalist, and in the process of trying to identify my observations with BugGuide.net [link], I quickly began to learn some of the “basics.” For example, stink bugs are a thing. So are green lacewings. And there are a LOT more kinds of spiders than orbweavers and wolf spiders (who knew?). I was so smitten with iNaturalist that I professed my love for all to read on tumblr [link] (all being… 3 people?). I used iNaturalist regularly, but still, unless I was on a bioblitz, I didn’t seek things out. I mentioned I was a grad student, right?

Then 2016 rolls around. I’ve had enough of school and drop master out of my program. I get a Real Engineering Job and Buy a House with a Yard. I started my new job when I was finishing up my thesis (probably not the best idea…) and so my back yard took on a life of its own. By the time I had finished my thesis, the grass was hip height, and the HOA had no rules about what my back yard had to look like, so I just never mowed it. And the bugs… oh man, the bugs. The bugs were good. By January 2017, I was getting more confident in my Bug Knowledge, and I was using iNaturalist every week. I had joined clubs centered around nature (Texas Master Naturalists and Travis Audubon). I signed up for a birding trip in Malawi. Then in April, I found a pile of butterfly eggs and a chrysalis. And the guy leading the Malawi trip (one of the directors at Travis Audubon) asked me to do an insect table at their outreach event. Then City Nature Challenge 2017 happened (and I am *very* competitive). And… uh… I guess I just never looked back?

The thing to remember here is: the more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know. What I love about iNaturalist is that I can create a time capsule showing what I did and didn’t know at the time. And what I didn’t know is… really amazing. I taught the entomology class for my Master Naturalist chapter’s training course this year, and I told the people in the class that one year ago, I didn’t know any of the things I was going to talk to them about. I know it sounds like I’m putting on a commercial for iNaturalist (which is actually exactly what I’m doing, I love that website), but besides the curiosity about nature that I had to begin with, iNaturalist is the single most important thing that has enabled me to nurture and grow my love for our invertebrate friends.

Through my use of iNaturalist, I have met real people and made real friendships. Many of the people I meet are professionally biologists, but there are just as many randos like me who crawled out of the internet to hang out with nature freaks. One of the great things about this community is there is no elitism, and even professional entomologists are just as willing to admit they have no idea what something is and will listen to me explain what I know, as they are to explain something I don’t know and answer my questions. The people I have met are absolutely awesome, and the general attitude people on iNat (online and in person) tend to have has really rubbed off on me. If someone I’m talking to doesn’t know something that tends to be commonly known (example: my coworker is a gardener, but hadn’t heard about the ant/aphid relationship), oh boy, it’s awesome, let me TELL YOU about ANTS fighting off PREDATORS so they can DRINK APHID PEE!!!

Above: Crematogaster ants farming keeled treehopper nymphs on sunflower SO THEY CAN DRINK THEIR PEE

One of the best things you can do to get more into entomology is to just be observant. Look. Notice patterns. Pay attention to relationships between “higher” and “lower” organisms. When you travel, look there too. What is different from home? What’s similar?

The other best thing: meet people. Find groups/clubs for people into nature. Go on hikes with entomologists. Go to “nature days” events (these are always geared towards kids, but ADULTS ARE WELCOME!). A lot of nature clubs and organizations are heavy on the retiree demographic, which means the meetings may not be easy to learn about online. I actually joined the Austin Butterfly Forum after hearing about it from the people I was sitting next to at a Travis Audubon event (Victor Emanuel’s autobiography had just published and he kicked off his book tour with a live interview in Austin), and I’ve met several new friends through ABF.

I don’t even know how to explain it, but naturalists are a totally different flavor than any other person I’ve known. It’s like, there are other people who would rather be crawling through the swamp in 105°F weather for 8 hours straight than sit and watch TV? There are other people who will skip two meals and stay up until 2 am to get really good bug pictures? I mean, I can’t describe what it feels like to be slowly picking through the deserts of west Texas with 15 other people, when one of them yells, “SNAKE!” and suddenly EVERYBODY RUNS TOWARDS THE SNAKE AND IMPATIENTLY WAITS THEIR TURN TO HOLD HIM.

I know this is long and maybe not entirely what you were expecting, @marichuu, but want to make sure that anybody reading this knows that if you like nature, even if you don’t know very much about it now, there are a ton of people like me and those weirdos up there who are so excited to share the world with you that you can’t even imagine it now. Want to stay online because you’re nervous about meeting new people? That’s great! Tons of us are online! But if you’re ready to put yourself out there and meet people in person, chances are, they’re awesome and will love answering your questions (and if they’re not awesome tell me and I’ll YELL AT THEM FOR YOU YOU DESERVE BETTER).

Anyway. Bugs are awesome and I hope they think you are just as awesome. Also anthropology is super neat and there’s a lot of intersections with entomology [link] that you can look at from an interesting angle.

Posted June 4, 2018

#asks #informational #how to #teach yourself entomology #entomology #inaturalist #inat #citizen science #insect photography #nature photography #tl;dr #wall of text #tmi #nanonaturalist's life story #resources #bioblitz #naturalists #master naturalists #audubon

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