#ballista answers

[mercs-askblog]

ballista wtf isthat haircut bro

B: SORRY, YOU FOUND OUT MY SECRET, SO I HAD TO KILL YOU!

[going-ballistic]

How do your abilities work? Also, I think you are really cool, and how tall are you?

OKAY WONDERFUL FAN #1!!! I have a cannon head and super speed! I KNOW, SO AWESOME!!! ... I'm 3'8... please don't be mean to me :>

[running2reanimation]

BALLUSTA YOU HAVE SO MUCH LORE NOW WHAT?????

(from storgicdealers post from like yesterday)

"Oh yeah, that's the story from the animations I was in!"

(I did see them - but I had Ballista's backstory already long finished by the time that info reached me! My Ballista is basically an actor - he is not the character from the story - he just has their name and played them for the animation.)

[itslilacokay]

Hi! May i request stick alan meeting the mercs?

sure sure!!

[zofi-persson-quotes]

Red: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Yeah, feels canon XD

Ballista 🤝🏻 Red

Being short, combative people

[vicagentstan]

[shadystriker]

Ah that's understandable, you ever played ttrpgs with victim? Or any of your other coworkers to be fair.

Victim, yes. Mitsi too, she was a very good GM. I haven't played with the new... crew.

[lokh]

head in hands.

[bots-and-cons]

#2 Day of asking random ahh questions to the blogs I follow

Okay so since I can't really ask for HCs and stuff for your ocs bc obviously requests are closed atm, how about would Neutroshot and Ballista would meet each other at some point? Or are they just in their own separate stuff going on?

Oh boy Ballista is officially turning into my second TFP OC. And since I'm just unable to answer shortly, you get some stuff about the duo. This is kinda gonna complicate the things with my whole Arcee shipping thing, but oh well, I'll figure it out.

After that last ask, I actually decided that they're siblings, twins to be exact. They joined the decepticons together back in the day. They were pretty close back then but they sort of drifted apart when Neutro started her relationship with Starscream, because Ballista absolutely did not and still does not like Starscream. When the twin. first joined the decepticons, they were assigned to different duties but they still shared a habsuite. Ballista started noticing that she saw Neutro less and less, and when she was arond, she was always irritable and very snappy. The times she wasn't around, she was with Starscream. Ballista tried to knock some sense into her sibling, but she never listened, and even after Neutro and Screamer broke up, Neutro could never admit that Ballista had been right.

They actually deserted the decepticons separately, Neutro left first and of course this brought a bit of a shitstorm down on Ballista. She was questioned for a long time by Starscream and she became a bit of an outcast, because of what Neutro did. Ballista eventually ended up following in her sibling's footsteps and leaving the cons, but while Neutro didn't really hold a grudge, Ballista most definitely does. She was treated very badly after Neutro left and she especially holds a grudge against Starscream. Ballista deserted the cons too, and while she doesn't actively seek revenge against the cons, at least not often, but she does take it when she gets the chance. They both ended up on earth, Neutro more by chance and Ballista because she was following the Nemesis for getting some payback.

So yeah, here are some ramblings about the two and I've decided to ship Neutro with someone other than Arcee, at least in the future, maybe I'll develop some sort of drama between Arcee and the twins, but I'm pretty set with Arcee and Ballista.

[daistea]

I love love love the scenarios of Kabru with a person who is oblivious, but what about someone who is hyper aware of how other people feel towards them as a defense mechanism? Someone who is constantly aware of everything that's going on and it's something they can't turn off but as a result hates guessing games and won't act unless the other person is genuinely forward. They aren't bad and are polite but will blatantly ignore hints. I think there's another layer of hilarity in that one.

Ya! I don't know if I captured what you're looking for, to be honest. But I tried my best, and I hope you like it!

1600 words !

no tw or spoilers I don't think

Cracks - Kabru x reader

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Your heart was a fortress. There were moats and ballistas and canons aimed straight at anyone who dared approach. You weren’t sure when the fortress walls raised, but you knew when another stone was added, when they grew higher. 

And Kabru’s charming smile only piled more stones atop the wall. 

That smile was intended for another purpose, you knew. He’d realize that soon enough, but until then, you would maintain eye contact and nod along with his conversations. He didn’t talk about himself often, but he had stories to tell, anecdotes, theories. And he wanted your opinion on every single one. 

“What do you think?” Kabru asked. It was a line cast into the water with bait on the hook. It was the sliding of a chess piece across the board. And he didn’t mean to play these games, you also knew that. It was just how he was. 

“I don’t know,” was all you gave him. 

Kabru nodded to himself. He was good at covering up his disappointment, but you could practically see the gears turning in his pretty head. The only thing you weren’t sure of was why, exactly, he had wanted to see you today. 

Finally, he returned his attention to you, “Do I make you uncomfortable?”

You felt yourself tense. Your shoulders slumped a little and you uncrossed your arms— he was probably reading your closed-off body language, but that was all simply habit, not a result of discomfort. 

“No, you don’t,” and you meant it. You weren’t about to inform him of why you never took the bait, but you’d throw him a bone. “You really don’t. I just… Wait, that was a very straightforward question, Kabru. How uncharacteristic of you.”

“I can be straightforward when I want to be,” He sent you another brilliant smile, though the look in his eyes told you that it was genuine. 

“Why do you want to be at this moment?”

Kabru looked away. He stared at his barely-touched mug of ale, doing his best not to shift uncomfortably on the bar stool. Yet, you saw it; the slight bounce of his knee, how his nose wrinkled. 

Finally: “I’m figuring something out,” he said. 

“Aren’t you always?” You teased. 

And he sent you another genuine smile with a hint of something, you weren’t sure. How annoying. Was it affection? You decided to push the thought aside for the sake of your sanity. 

“Yeah, you’ve got me,” he put his hands up and laughed, then took a sip of his ale as if needing something to do with himself to ease the tension that was slowly seeping between you. Tension: a noxious, invisible gas. It was about to give you a headache. 

You turned on the stool to face him, “What’s on your mind?”

Kabru’s smile turned wry, “Now you’re the one prying.” Your heart clenched. That was another stone on the wall. He knew you and it made you want to run away as fast as you could. 

“I guess,” you said, “Yeah, I do that sometimes.”

“I don’t mind,” Kabru murmured. 

What a lie. 

˚ · • . ° .

“Why are you two like this?” Rin asked. Her eyes were narrowed and her hands pressed down on her hips. Both you and Kabru took in the sight and began silently reaching conclusions. 

Kabru was the first to answer. “What do you mean? What’re we like?” He wasn’t confused in the least but made a good show of it. 

“Like this!” She gestured at you both, how close you were sitting with thighs and shoulders brushing. “You’re constantly dancing around each other and, frankly, it’s obnoxious.”

She was right. One step towards each other always resulted in two steps back. Kabru would create a verbal maze that you would instantly get lost in. You knew the general layout and that you should go a certain direction, but you never did find the exit. 

“Sorry,” you offered, hoping it would quell Rin’s annoyance. (It did not.)

“Are you two aware that…” Rin paused. She seemed to choke on her words as her cheeks slowly went pink. You and Kabru both stared. And stared. And Stared. Finally, Rin groaned, “Nevermind! This is your problem to figure out. Not mine.”

True enough. 

“She’s right,” Kabru murmured after she left. He lowered his head and looked at you, trapping you beneath his spotlight. Unfortunately, you had stage fright. 

“Right about what?” You asked, standing up to create distance; that spotlight was uncomfortably warm. But the lack of that warmth from Kabru’s body next to yours only created a gaping hole in your chest. (You'd have to fill that hole with sweets and distractions later.)

Kabru pursued your attention, “About our feelings, of course.”

Your feelings? At that moment, you were feeling quite shaken as cracks began to run up your fortress walls. 

“What feelings?” You asked flatly. 

His hopeful little smile instantly fell and he started to shift uncomfortably, “Our feelings.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“I’m not making you say anything,” you corrected, taking a step backward, preparing your retreat. 

“Yes you are,” Kabru began to argue desperately, “I’ve spent months trying to give you hints! I told you ‘the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?’ and you started talking about how the craters kind of looked like Laois’s face. I compared our hand sizes together as an excuse to touch you, and all you said was that I have girlish hands!”

“You do.”

“You know me,” he grit his teeth, standing up from the bench, “you know how hard this is for me. I’ve given you so many hints, so many opportunities, but you’ve ignored them all!”

Hints. Even the word made you frown. Kabru wanted to play guessing games all day, while all you wanted was a simple game of truth and dare where everybody only picked truth. 

Sometimes, you couldn’t help but wonder why you loved this man. He always banged at the walls of your fortress and, recently, some stones had begun to crumble. You added more, but they would only fall when he decided to say something outright on rare occasion.

“I don’t like games,” was all you said. 

“I know,” Kabru exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes, “I know. I’m trying, really. Usually, I’m pretty adaptable, but this is just… Different.”

“And… You don’t like it?”

“I–” his mouth opened and closed before he looked at you straight on, “I don’t hate it, honestly. It’s different in a good way, as if it’s forcing me to be better with my words.”

“You’re already good with your words. You’re too good with them, that’s the problem.”

Kabru watched you for a moment. You allowed him to analyze you despite how it made your skin tingle. After a bit, he nodded to himself. “Do you want to get a drink?” He asked. 

“...I brought my water canteen with me, so I really don’t—

“You’re just blatantly ignoring my hints, aren’t you?” Kabru announced. His eyes widened and he threw his hands into the air. Whirling away, he gripped his hair and groaned. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight. 

“Maybe you should try a new method,” you offered, patting his back, “one that doesn’t involve implications and guesses.”

Slowly, he lifted his head. He looked a bit dead inside, and his jaw tensed. You felt as if you were watching him force himself to eat a monster out of a sheer need to please. It endeared him to you, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the guy. The things Kabru put himself through simply to maintain good graces were endless and difficult. 

“I…” he paused, blinking a few times before he finally looked at you, “Would that work?”

Probably. “Think of it like therapy,” you said as you led him back to the bench and sat down beside him. “Try to be blunt with me. Practice.”

“Practice,” he echoed under his breath.

“Come on.”

His eyes narrowed, “Fine. Where do I start? Give me a prompt.”

Good question. You gave it a moment of thought, “Alright, try asking me on a date.”

“I just did a few minutes ago.”

“No, be blunt about it.”

A heavy pause. Kabru slumped forward a little, an intense look in his eyes. “Alright. Fine. Will you go on a date with me?”

“...Why?”

“Why?” Fear and horror and exasperation filled his eyes, "Shouldn't you already know?"

“I don't. So, why?”

“Because—” just like Rin did earlier, Kabru choked on his words. His hands went up and he made meaningless gestures with them as if that would assist in the process of being blunt. “Because I would like that?”

“Good job!” You patted him on the shoulder. “Now, bluntly tell me how you feel about me.”

The horror on his face, you wanted a picture of it so you would always have something to laugh at. “Really?”

“Really,” you sang. 

“Fine. I—” another meaningless gesture as he cleared his throat, brows furrowing, “You really want me to be blunt?”

“Yeah. Tell me the truth, the whole truth, don’t dance around it.”

“Okay,” Kabru snorted, “Okay… I want to kiss you, I want to hold you, I want your attention, I want to pin you down on the couch and—”

“That’s enough,” you put up a hand— your cheeks were burning— and smiled, “we’re in a public place. But I get the point, thank you.”

Kabru sighed in relief. He closed his eyes and fell forward, burying his face in your shoulder. You couldn’t help but laugh and pat his back. 

There was a lot of work to do. He still had another layer of walls to break through, but he’d learn how to defeat and conquer. He’d learn how to stop building mazes for you. And it would be good for him, if it didn’t drive him insane first. 

You buried your nose into his hair. He groaned, slack in your arms. Part of you wanted to run, retreat. The other part of you rejoiced in the moment. You weren’t sure which one to listen to, but you and Kabru would figure it out with time. 

You and Kabru would figure a lot of things out together from now on. 

[kirain]

The air in the room was tense, thick with the heat of Taash's temper, so loud they muffled the clatter of the patrons below. Emmrich stood across from them, his lips parted as though searching for words he'd forgotten. And Vae, who had walked in only moments before, stood between both of them, hands raised as if trying to diffuse a bomb.

"You sabotaged it!" Taash hissed, their arms lashing about. "You deliberately ruined my lure!"

"I did no such thing!" Emmrich shot back, though his voice cracked ever so slightly. "I don't know what you think you saw, but it wasn't—!"

"I saw you!" Taash's voice rose, echoing off the walls. "You think I'm stupid? Think I don't have eyes? I know you did it on purpose! You hated this plan from the start!"

Vae stepped forward, her tone placating. "Both of you, let's calm down. We're not at the Lighthouse, we're at an inn. Taash, why don't we give Emmrich a chance to—?"

"No!" They snarled. "Don't you dare tell me to calm down! I spent weeks perfecting that lure! Weeks, just to distract the dragon long enough to loot its cave. And then he," they jabbed a clawed finger towards Emmrich, "ruined everything by setting off a ballista! The dragon nearly killed us!"

Vae frowned. "That doesn't sound like Emmrich. Why would he purposely rile up a dragon?"

"He tried to kill it!" Taash snapped. "He just missed. But of course you'd take your boyfriend's side."

"I don't need her to take my side," Emmrich interrupted. "Because that's not what happened." He stepped closer, his hazel eyes determined. "I didn't set the ballista off intentionally. It was an accident."

"An accident?" Taash's laugh was bitter, dripping with disbelief. "You're the embodiment of careful. Dainty and precise. So why, now, are you suddenly clumsy?"

Emmrich's jaw clenched as he tried to form an answer. For once, it seemed as though he didn't want to speak, but he exhaled with a defeated, "The dragon... startled me, Taash. It flew closer than I expected, and I stumbled back. My hand caught the trigger mechanism. I didn't mean for it to fire."

Taash's gaze narrowed, their molten-green eyes boring into him. "That's bullshit. You hate dragons. You never want to talk about them, never want to help with them. You wanted to wreck my plan."

"I don't hate dragons," Emmrich said quickly, though his voice carried an undercurrent of defensiveness.

"You don't?" Taash crossed their arms with a scoff. "Oh, right. You're not 'fond' of them. But isn't that the same thing?" Emmrich tried to reply, but Taash cut him off. "Don't sugarcoat it. You hate them," they pressed, their voice dropping to a dangerous growl. "And if you hate dragons, then you must hate me."

"What?" Emmrich blinked, taken aback.

"You heard me," Taash said, marching closer. "Qunari are descended from dragons, right? Do I disgust you, too?"

"Taash, that's ridiculous," Vae tried to protest. "Emmrich would never—"

"Answer me, death mage! You hate me, don't you? You hate me, you hate dragons—you hate everything I stand for!"

"Of course not!" Emmrich vowed, his voice tinged with desperation.

But Taash didn't relent. They drew in a long breath, their chest expanding, then expelled a billowing cloud of fire. The flames scorched the air between them, illuminating Emmrich's pale face and the glister of fear in his eyes. The fire didn't reach him, but he staggered back instinctively, curling into the wall like a frightened animal.

"Taash, stop it!" Vae gasped, grabbing their arm.

The fire died out, and Taash wiped their lips, their expression stormy. "I don't believe a word you say, death mage. Anything related to dragons, you hate," they said coldly, though their gaze faltered when they took in Emmrich's quivering form.

While he and Taash were similar in height, he seemed smaller somehow. He stood frozen, his eyes wide, his chest heaving as if the flames had torn the air from his lungs. His hands trembled, his fingers gripping his robes, and he wasn't able to focus on anything but the spot where the fire had erupted.

"Emmrich?" Taash's voice softened, shame creeping into their tone. They took a step forward. "Did I... did I singe you? Are you hurt? You know I wasn't actually aiming for you, right?"

He didn't respond.

"Emmrich," Vae called, hurrying to his side. She reached for his hand, but he recoiled with a panicked mewl, his body rigid and quaking. "Oh no... not here. Not now." In a rare bout of anger, she turned to Taash and yelled, "What were you thinking?"

Taash's ears drooped, and they looked away, regret panting their features. "I... I didn't mean to do that to him. I was just—"

Before they could finish, Emmrich bolted. He shoved past them both, his boots scraping against the filthy wooden floor as he vanished down the hall.

"Emmrich, wait!" Vae yelled, but it was too late.

Taash stared at the empty doorway, their fists balled at their sides. "Fuck," they muttered, their anger giving way to a gnawing guilt. They looked at Vae, their shoulders slumping. "I didn't mean—I was just pissed. What's wrong with him? What'd I do?"

"Taash..." Vae sighed. She wanted to reassure them, but Emmrich was her first priority. In his state, he could get himself hurt. "Stay here, I'll find him."

"Vae?" Taash said, catching her before she left. "I'm sorry."

"I know."

The night breeze was cool and sharp, a stark contrast to the suffocating heat of Taash's fire and the dense, smoky atmosphere of the inn. Fortunately, Emmrich hadn't wandered far; Vae found him only a few feet from the path, slumped against the jagged edge of a cliff. His hands clutched his chest, his breaths shallow and erratic. She recognised the signs immediately. Emmrich's attacks were infrequent, but devastating when they struck.

"Just... bring him back so I can say it to his face, all right?"

-----

"Darling," she said softly, keeping her distance. She waited a beat before moving closer, her arms extended in a gesture of calm. "It's me. Vae."

His wide eyes flicked towards her, but he didn't respond, his entire body shaking as if crushed by an unbearable weight.

"It's all right," she hushed, her movements steady. "I'm right here. Just listen to my voice. Can you try to breathe with me?" She drew nearer, careful not to overwhelm him, then gradually placed her hands on his arms, her touch feather-light. "In," she demonstrated, taking a deep, spirited breath. "And out."

It took time—agonisingly long moments where his breaths strained painfully—but after a while, her kind persistence pulled him back from the precipice.

"Emmrich?" she said, searching for a hint if recognition in his eyes.

His breathing slowed, though his body sagged with exhaustion. When his knees buckled, Vae caught him, easing him down to the ground.

"Forgive me," he rasped, burying his face in his hands, his shoulders trembling with the remnants of his fear.

"No," Vae said, kneeling beside him. "Don't apologise. It wasn't your fault."

Gently, she coaxed him to lie back, resting his head in her lap. Her fingers moved to his temples, rubbing slow, soothing circles into his skin. His eyes fluttered closed, his breathing steadying further under her tender ministrations.

"Thank you..." he choked. "Thank you, my love."

"Shhh. Just relax."

They sat in silence for a while, the cool wind threading through their hair. When Vae finally spoke, her voice was low, cautious. "What happened in there, Emmrich? What triggered this?"

He hesitated, a streak of embarrassment flushing his face. "It was... everything," he admitted. "The dragon. The argument. Taash's fire. The closed space. It was all too much."

Vae's fingers stilled briefly before resuming their gentle rhythm. "The dragon," she repeated. "I know you don't hate them—you don't hate any creature—but I can tell they unsettle you. Can I ask why?"

Emmrich failed to stifle a groan, his expression tightening, as if some dark memory clawed its way to the surface.

"Stay with me," Vae urged, realising the depth of his pain. "I'm sorry, forget I said anything."

"...8:99 Blessed," he wheezed.

Vae tilted her head. "What?"

"8:99 Blessed," he said again, clearer.

"That was fifty-three years ago."

He nodded, forcing himself to look up at her, his gaze distant. "I was four years old."

"A bit before my time," Vae teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Emmrich's breath hitched as he looked away, steeling himself. "It was the year the dragons came in force," he winced. "They ravaged the countryside of Orlais and Nevarra, burning villages, razing buildings… and killing thousands."

Vae flinched, a dismal understanding settling in. "Your parents," she whispered.

He nodded, his voice trembling. "I can barely recall their faces, but their screams… I remember those. Vividly." With her help, he sat up, his hands folding in his lap, his head hanging. "I told you... a building collapsed on top of them, but I spared you the details." He paused, his nails biting into his palms. "We fled to the Chantry—my parents and I—along with countless others. It seemed an adequate shelter, at the time." His teeth clinched. "But the dragon unleashed its fire on the towers. The exits collapsed, trapping us inside, and the roof... the roof burst into a blazing inferno."

"Emmrich..." Vae's breath caught as she envisioned the horror. "How did you survive?"

"My parents," he said, his voice breaking. "My father broke a stained-glass window, and my mother... threw me out just before the roof caved in. When I hit the ground I looked back, but—" He trailed off, his eyes welling with tears. "I could hear them. Burning. Screaming. And then... nothing.

"Emmrich... I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."

"I-I tried to help them." He stuttered, gripping his gloved hand. A searing burn echoed in his scars, from his fingers nearly to his elbow. "I tried to dig them out, but—"

"Enough," Vae begged, cupping his cheeks. "Don't relive it, my love."

He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. "I've spent my whole life trying to forget that day," he whimpered. "But I can't. It haunts me." He chuckled solemnly. "And now... in the age of dragons, I'm nothing but a coward."

"You're anything but," she said, pulling him into a fierce embrace. "Every day you face your greatest fears, and I admire you for it."

Emmrich didn't argue, the sudden motion, the benevolent praise, all prising the grief from his heart. An eternity passed as he clung to her, his face buried in her chest.

"Thank you for telling me," Vae said, only when his sobs subsided.

Emmrich nodded as he pulled away, his face weary but less burdened. "Thank you, my love. Thank you for coming after me."

"Always," she promised. Then she added, "Taash feels awful about what happened. They're worried you're afraid of them now."

Emmrich paused, then let out a dry but playful huff. "Afraid of their temper, perhaps."

Vae laughed, leaning in for a kiss. "I'll let them know you said that."

"Don't you dare," he warned, melting against her lips.

They closed their eyes, exploring each other's taste; Emmrich's hand gliding up to cradle her neck. Vae's presence was his refuge, her arms his sanctuary. She kissed him deeply, held him tightly, and then she pressed her forehead into his, her fervour giving way to quiet concern.

"Are you all right?" she asked. "Really all right?"

"I am now," he whispered, his blushing smile the proof.

Vae matched his smile, warmly. "Then let's get back inside, before we freeze."

Hand in hand, they rose, their fingers entwining as they walked back towards the path.

[mercs-askblog]

Do any of yall like lemons like just the lemon itself

[rocketco-official]

who here is the most down bad

🕶️ I’m about to stop answering questions at this point

No one even said your name

🕶️ I saw Ballista reaching for that A key

[colonelpancakes]

Watching The Dragon Prince Season Six Part Eight: We All Fall Down. I made so many distressed noises while watching this episode that I actually hurt my throat

Under the cut as per usual.

Already, the shots of the people looking up at Sol Regem combined with the music is making me so fucking nervous is Katolis about to get destroyed??? Nothing better happen to Barius and Jellybug you hear me, they better make it out unscathed.

sakfdljskla it’s okay Soren, I heard “physical exercises” too. This is why I watch shows with subtitles.

OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT ESCALATED. SHIT.

That’s really bad, oh my god. Fuck.

Oh noo, honey… She had to leave her toy behind no…

Oh thank God, Soren and Opeli are somehow okay.

Guys, I appreciate the efforts, but I DON’T THINK ARROWS ARE GOING TO DO ANYTHING. Ballista? Maybe. Arrows? Definitely not.

OKAY CRAP IT GOT WORSE. They burned the bridge??? Man’s really just trying to kill as many people as possible, huh. That’s. Oh my god.

Oh crap.

OH FUCK! SOREN!

Okay, shit that’s a lot of blood um. Okay. That’s definitely a concussion. Hat’s okay, that’s good. Fuck. Soren you need to survive this episode, you hear me? You are not allowed to die.

Oh my god, the score here is. Oh my god. It really drives home the sense of fear and tragedy. The composers are fucking killing it.

SORENNNNN!!!! MY BOY!!! I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH OH MY GOD. I love the fact that he prioritizes citizen’s lives over the castle because 1) it’s absolutely what Ezran would want done in this situation and 2) it’s a direct contrast to season two where Soren causes MORE harm by insisting that a dragon be shot down but then 3) it’s a continuation of his character arc from that episode because after he realizes he made a mistake, he frees Corvus so that he can help evacuate the town. And then here, he’s making the call to stop shooting, sacrifice the castle, and focus entirely on evacuating the people. I love Soren so much, look at how much my boy has grown.

Is he going to get Viren out of the castle?

SOREN. SOREN, NO. NO SELF-SACRIFICING you hear me? NO. You are GOING to reunite with Opeli and you are GOING to be there to take care of Hat, Soren, I swear to god-

Oh, Hello motherfucker! I am about to reach through this screen and start biting you. Is that a fight I’m going to win? No. But it would be cathartic.

Oh, wow. Viren’s facial hair has really grown since the episode before last. I guess he doesn’t anything to shave with so that makes sense. Sure caught me off-guard though.

Oh? He’s asking VIren for help, I didn't expect that.

Oh! Soren you are so smart, I would not have thought of that, that’s a really good idea.

There’s a lot going on here, but also, ooh that’s interesting. I’ve always wondered how staffs were enhancing primal magic but then this answers it! They have primal stones embedded in them. Cool, I like that detail. Now back to heart-crushing drama.

Ohhhh Soren… I love Soren. The way he’s prioritizing people’s lives over EVERYTHING else, over any moral objections to dark magic, over the potential cost of any ingredient. Soren… You are so good.

Oh, god, what’s the ingredient for this one. It better not be another situation where you have to kill your child, if it is, I swear to god, Viren-

Oh. Oh shit. Ohhh noo, that’s um. Oh. Okay. Uh. Fuck.

SOFNREN! SONR NO. SOREN. NO. Not allowed, nope. Given all the emphasis on Viren’s value of his family this season I don’t. Think that he would sacrifice Soren. But. Honey. Darling, Sweetheart, no. I reiterate what I said earlier, Soren, you are NOT ALLOWED TO DIE.

VIREN DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE.

Viren. Viren where’s Soren. Viren.

Oh, shit, Viren stabbed himself didn’t he. Fuck.

Yeah… Yeah, he did. Shit. That is. Yeah, that is a lot of blood.

I'm out of images??? Already??? Oh my god. Uh. Continued in reblogs

[zofi-persson-quotes]

hear me out on this now-

Ballista would totally chase a cat toy-

Oh, ABSOLUTELY YES- You are SO right.

They just have the vibes of someone eho would do that.

But hear me out:

Ballista going crazy with a laser pointer

[xjackjackx]

Alan Becker Analysis: Hazard's Mysteries (Or Maybe I'm Overthinking???)

Ok so unlike this last post about Victim and Glasses Guy / "Agent", this isn't really me bringing anything solid onto the table (well besides one or two things). This is just me overanalysing random shit that frankly is likely irrelevant.

Anyways this post is about Bathroom Sign Guy aka Hazard aka Warning aka Sign, the gray pictogram mercenary from Animator vs. Animation VI, and why he might have a deeper role (prob doesn't).

Part 1 - The Overthinking of Minor Details

Ok this is the part where I'm 100% convinced I'm just talking stupid shit due to rewatching the episodes too many times, but eh.

Let's start off with something... relatively normal actually, which I saw pointed out by others. When Chosen attacks the mers with lightning, Hazard has this shit happen to him:

This is... frankly weird and idk what it means. When Wanted first came out, this and his movement made me think Hazard was a robot, but since then I started believing he's just a normal stick figure like the others. Besides, this whole series is on a computer so everyone besides the Animator is an AI lol.

So if he's not a robot, perhaps Hazard is connected to technology, and thus taking away the ship's energy took away his? That's the only other thing I can think of.

The second one was actually told to me by a friend, and tbh even in this whole post this might be the biggest stretch, but I still think this is worth bringing up. When Orange and Chosen return to the Outernet, Hazard is seen looking... somewhere.

(btw agent looks so stupid here lmfao)

The most likely answer is that he is simply looking around, like Agent and Primal - the cave drawing - are seen doing like immediately afterwards. But my friend did point out that it could easily look like Hazard is looking up - in which case, he could've possibly noticed Chosen and Orange, and then chose to not tell the other mercenaries until Agent notices them and thus forces Haz to intervene. Likely just huge overthinking of a one-off scene, but still.

The last one from Wanted is this shot of the Mercenaries in the elevator.

In this scene, Hazard briefly looks at Ballista - the pixel gremlin - and then proceeds to look away when the little guy stares back at him. Is it most likely them just finding the awkward elevator silence uncomfortable? Probably yea, but it could also be a sign of Hazard and Ballista having a rocky relationship - we see Ballista is pretty aggressive, so maybe Hazard is nervous around such a batshit crazy dude?

In "The Box", the first Hazard scene worth talking about is the first of his reactions to Victim's torture of Chosen.

We know he is a mercenary and a villain, so it should be expected that he's a cruel bastard, but still, falling asleep while watching torture is just another level. What kind of shit did Hazard see, or do himself, that he finds Victim's actions purely boring?

...and yet, just a few moments more later, Hazard has an actual reaction to Victim pulling out a lasso.

Now, the three dots - and thus, Hazard's silence of a reaction - could mean anything. Maybe he's still bored, just awake now. Maybe he's curious to see what will happen. Maybe he has actual standards. But it's still interesting to see that Victim's lasso got a reaction out of Hazard (meanwhile Ballista just crosses his arms, prob in curiosity or impatience, while Primal stays completely still - I'll get to their personalities later).

Similarly, Victim ordering Agent to clone him also gets a small reaction out of Hazard, his head jumping a little (I don't know how else to call it).

This time, it's definitely just shock/curiosity/surprise that Vic is doing something new, and/or that the Box lets you clone people, but still worth pointing out.

A long time later, we finally get something worthy of note from Hazard, that I actually find interesting. While the other mercs are too busy looking through Chosen's memories, Hazard notices Orange returning.

I feel like this was actually an intentional choice. Like, why make all the mercs focused on Chosen's memories, excluding only one of them - and it's not even the most important mercenary that's the big bad's right hand? Also, why is Hazard so far away from the other mercenaries? While I consider this whole section of the post just major overthinking, this one moment specifically is actually pretty sus to me.

Now, to close off this section, there is Haz's reaction to Super Orange.

Mainly, how he and Victim are the only ones who are inarguably scared/panicking. Primal just leans in like "de fuk", Ballista flinches once and then watches in silence, while Agent double checks on both the small and large monitor. Primal and Agent are confused, Ballista is shocked(? idk how to call it), but Hazard and Vic are the only ones with a true "OH SHIT" reaction. What this means? Idk, again this whole section is just overthinking things.

Thankfully we can leave the part where I talk meaningless shit and get into the parts that hopefully actually have a point.

Part 2 - Hazard and His (Lack of) Personality

Another part I noticed since Wanted first dropped (part of the reason why I first thought Haz was a robot) was that, compared to the other mercs, he has so little personality... which might be intentional.

I mean, Agent. He also doesn't showcase a lot of himself, but we still see that he's cool, calm, loyal to Victim, kind of a taunting asshole who plays with his victims instead of instantly getting serious, and despite it all, not unbreakable - He panicked when Chosen attacked him with the iceberg, and he was caught off-guard by Super Orange like everyone else.

Ballista probably has the most personality out of everyone. His body language shows emotion pretty much all the time: most specifically, anger. Whether it's his fighting style, his pose, or walk cycle, Ballista is pissed off 24/7. It's implied it even makes his co-workers nervous. At the same time, the grin he flashes when jumping off the ship in Wanted shows he enjoys his job.

Primal is second only to Hazard in lack of personality, but there's definitely still something there. Mainly, is that he's a very fight-focused person that is basically an empty shell outside it. He's so ready to fuck up a rhino in Wanted, and sharpens his spear for another hunt while bored, but outside of fighting Orange?... he's pretty dull. Only a bit more emotional than Hazard. He seems like a Kraven-type character who just wants to hunt the biggest prey possible, while having zero life outside it. Also he has a Hulk-style form which reduces him to an animal sapience-wise.

Hazard, though? He uhh... he wants to get Chosen, is very focused on completing the job, and that's kinda it. He's such a blank it feels intentional. Perhaps he has his own goals and is hiding them?

Part 3 - He's Either Holding Back or He's Fucking Useless

Yea not gonna sugarcoat this. There has to be some sort of big reveal of Hazard's true power in later episodes, or this dude's so weak it's laughable to think he's supposed to be a threat.

I mean, Agent has a toolbar that makes him a Mini-Animator, and he can pause anything and anyone. Ballista can shapeshift his body and pull weapons out of his ass. Primal has a stronger form that can pick up a rhino without difficulty, and he probably has more.

Hazard?

He, uh... is good at dodging. He also has this one Shock Sign that killed a bird. Yeah.

Ngl if this is all Hazard has then it's impossible for me to see him as a threat on par with the other mercs, or even Victim. Hell, I wouldn't even be able to see him as above the Stick Gang in strength, with how slow Orange was in that scene compared to his fights in the AvM Shorts.

So yeah, on top of possibly hiding his true personality/hidden motives, Hazard was most likely holding back heavily in Wanted, which only makes him more mysterious.

Part 4 - The End

So, this is kinda it. Was Part 1 all overthinking, or did I get a few things right? Is Hazard actually hiding something, or does he only show little personality because none of his scenes let him show off anything? Is he holding back his true strength, or is he actually weak?

Frankly idk, but I am excited to see where things go with this guy, as he has tons of potential.