#ball bungee

[lord-lawnmower]

the Sawyer twins would watch Jackass and try to recreate every dumbass stunt. they’d treat Drayton like Bam treats Phil.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

The Urge to walk on things like they’re a balance beam

[tarpaulinswholesale]

[vintagegeekculture]

The Hall of Amazing Men: Branscombe Richmond

A new admission to the Hall of Amazing Men, Branscombe Richmond is best known for being an actor where he played Lorenzo Lamas’s friend, the Lando Calrissian-like sharpie Dallas Sixkiller, or as Moki, the smartmouth Hawaiian friend of Magnum, P.I. But behind the camera, as a tough as nails stunt coordinator and stuntman, Branscombe Richmond created and developed nearly all the eccentric and eye catching events in the TV series American Gladiators: Atlasphere (the one where people roll around in giant balls), Powerball (done simply because they needed a sport that could be created cheaply because they ran out of money for development) and all the various ones where musclemen shoot tennis balls at people, and where you have to avoid muscular women by jumping on a bungee cord. I don’t think it would be inaccurate to say that with his development (on a really thin budget, no less) of memorable, eye catching sports and events that, with his stunt training he knew could be done safely enough so that even kinda-sporty housewives from Illinois could do them without injury, Branscombe Richmond created American Gladiators. He turned an idea into a realized, practical show that can be done – I don’t think it is inaccurate at all to call him the uncredited creator of American Gladiators.

In his career as a stuntman, Branscombe Richmond, meanwhile, is another one of those faces that shows up over and over playing evil henchmen, members of motorcycle gangs in rough biker bars the hero brawls with karate (if there’s ever a rough scummy biker bar out there, you can bet Branscomb Richmond is in it), and hordes of nunchaku wielding ninja, to the point where if you are, like me, an 80s-90s action aficionado, his face makes you go “oh, hey…it’s that guy!” Can you really call yourself an action fan if you don’t start identifying “your” evil henchman? His IMDB page is mostly roles that are named “Gunman In Jeep,” "Biker #2," and "Terrifying Clown."  

If there is a Evil Henchman Hall of Fame, Brandscomb is there alongside the great Al Leung. You can spot his face as a henchman in Never Too Young to Die (with John Stamos), Action Jackson, Batman Returns, the Hidden, Iron Eagle III: Aces High (objectively the best one as it had Ms. Olympia Rachel McLish), and Star Trek III, where he was a Klingon henchman to Christopher Lloyd who almost got disintegrated and had to feed his disgusting slimy monster dog-salamander. It's comforting to know the profession of henching is alive and well 300 years in the future.

On television, Brandscomb Richmond was on every single cool show from the 80s: Tales of the Gold Monkey, TJ Hooker, Manimal, Airwolf, Knight Rider, Baywatch, and many times attempted to kill the A-Team, especially from motorcycles. Like Chiba, another stuntman-actor, Branscombe Richmond specialized in motorcycle stunts, and he was admitted to the Motorcycle Hall of Fame in 2003. He is, to this day, the guest of honor at whatever motorcycle rally your embarrassing hick uncle attends. I have no evidence for this, but I have long suspected that the reason Richmond was hired to be Dallas Sixkiller in Renegade with Lorenzo Lamas was so they could get his unpaid advice on motorcycle stunts (much like how I have always suspected Warner Brothers hired Ben Affleck as Batman as a "backdoor" way to ask him to direct).

He also played the older brother of the Rock in the Scorpion King, which is an interesting choice because despite getting roles as American Indians (and being beloved in the American Indian community, who, as a whole, deeply love characters who are smartmouth, wiseass sharpies/scammers who get one over on everyone), Brandscome Richmond is in fact, like the Rock, of Hawaiian origin. His first major role in television, that of Moki in Magnum PI, was in fact Hawaiian.

Why are there so many Pacific Islanders in stuntman careers, MMA, and professional wrestling? The answer is surprisingly pedestrian. It’s because Pacific Islanders are a sizable ethnic population in Los Angeles, where movies and television are made, so if you need someone in L.A. that are tough as nails and can take a hit, a Samoan or Hawaiian is a good choice.

Happily, Branscombe Richmond is alive and well, mostly retired as a traditionally large Hawaiian family patriarch. He does occasional voice work, as Gibraltar in Apex Legends, a character physically based on him as well. I imagine he is relieved to be working in showbiz and no longer risking brain damage to do it.

[venusfun]

Solar return chart notes🌟🌾

After a long time of not being active, I have decided to surprise you with some of my notes for Solar return charts!

Please note that these are my observations and opinions, if you have any questions feel free to hit my ask box💓

🌾I have noticed that people with 12th house moons will have such important dreams in their year. People with this placement can even predict future events or get an instinct to their deepest minds using their dreams.

🌾2nd house can tell what big purchase a person will make this year. For instance, Venus in 2nd - jewelry, designer clothes, perfume, etc., Uranus in 2nd - phone, computer, TV, futuristic home decor, etc., Mercury in 2nd house - also phone or laptop (communication devices), books, journals, luggage, bicycles, and even cars.

🌾People with Mars in 2nd house should be careful with impulsive shopping!

🌾People with Pluto or Mars in the 5th house in the SR chart could be fans of adventurous sports that cause high adrenaline like bungee jumping, skydiving, motocross, etc.

🌾People with Earth element dominating SR charts can really love spending time outside in nature.

🌾I love seeing Venus, Sun, and Jupiter in the 6th house! It means that the person will value wellness and a healthier lifestyle.

🌾Also Venus in the 6th house could get beauty treatments daily - manicures, facials, massages, waxing, etc.

🌾Pluto in 3rd house indicates a change of schools, neighbors, study habits, or even vehicles.

🌾Uranus in the 11th house can indicate new friendships online. It can also be a sign of new friends that are rebellious or unconventional in some way.

🌾Stellium in the 5th, 10th, and 11th house gives a person bigger popularity.

🌾12th house Suns will feel distanced and isolated during the year. But it's a great sign that a person should explore their subconscious and spiritual side.

🌾Uranus in the 12th house can indicate spiritual awakening.

🌾People with Mercury in the 9th house can develop writing skills! This could be a sign that a person could be working on some book or story.

🌾Sun in 1st house gives the main character energy during the year. These people are balls of sunshines that can make everyone feel amazing.

I hope you enjoyed reading this and please let me know what placements should I cover in my next post!🌟

[pet-slut-chrissy]

I knew I was in trouble, I disobeyed my Mistress @owner-of-pet-slut-chrissy because I was thinking with my cunt instead of my head again.  I was on no-touch denial but when She was telling me what She was planning for a playtime I started rubbing myself almost as a reflex..  oh no I realized a second too late but She was smiling hugely

I started getting ready as She finished a couple of phone calls..  I put on my new latex maids outfit fishnets and my highest heels, then the lush and ben wa balls.  I got to choose a gag, I went with the ring gag because it is more comfortable..  As I was getting the anal hook ready She stopped me and said because I had disobeyed Her I was to put ginger paste on the hook.  Ohhhh I knew how hot that would be but I did it without whining, and then a knotted crutch rope was tied securing everything in. But when She got the harsh nipple clamps and said they were going on my pussy lips I almost panicked..  however one stern look from Her told me there was no choice, it was my punishment.

We set the hitachi wand leaning over the back of a sofa, then tied bungee cords from the ceiling hook to the anal hook and bungee cord to crotch rope so they would both pulling tight if I tried to press myself against the wand.  Then the fun started..  with the wand on high I begged to push hard against the wand, and She allowed then started asking me questions, how much of a slut I was, how filthy I was was, what I would do for an orgasm I found myself humping the wand the cords pulling the hook deep and crutch rope tight.  Every time I got close and begged to cum She turned the wand off.

After several cycles of this I was completely frustrated and desperate.. Mistress said She wanted to know how much of a slut I really was, that She was going to cuff my hands behind my back and push me against the wand for 12 minutes.  She wanted exactly 5 orgasms from me during the 12 minutes, any more or any less and I would be punished and I had to scream my thank you to Her after each one which I knew would have Me drooling over my breasts.  Click the timer lock was secured and the timer started..  I kept my cunt pressed tight against the wand, the hook and rope pulling so tight and intense that I had my first orgasm almost immediately.. I will admit I cheated a little, I could see the clock and try to pace myself as I kept pressing and had 2 3 4 and finally my 5th orgasm right before the time was up..

I immediately thanked Mistress for my 5 treats through my ring gag then begged Her to let me off the wand, She said no and asked me what I was, as I was humping the wand I blurted out that I was a slut.. She was close too, She said prove it, cum for Her and then we both exploded at the same moment! mmm I was trembling when She finally eased me off the wand and took the clamps off my pussy lips omg! Don’t touch She ordered!!  It took all my self control but I didn’t.   As we talked about the session and how much we both loved it She  kept having me pulling on the hook and rope.  She asked if I might like a bonus cum and of course I said yes..  a few more minutes of teasing tugging and pressing against the wand and we came again.  I’m sometimes embarrassed by how much of a slut I am, but only Mistress knows all my darkest and nastiest secrets.  I am so grateful to be collared and Owned by Her!

[hannie-dul-set]

YOU’RE MY BUCKET LIST.

p — SHEN QUANRUI x fem! reader. g — humor, fluff, lovestruck! ricky trying his darnest to be cool. w — swearing, secondhand embarrassment what did you expect from me. 2.8k words.

note — rewriting the backstory of his leopard print shirt. my loser idolverse is expanding. no one is safe. who should i throw into the depths of patheticness next.

ricky doesn’t believe in bucket lists.

what need is there for a list of things he wants and wants to do before he dies when he can get and do everything he wants in an instant? if he wants to go bungee jumping, he can go to gangwon-do this afternoon. if he wants to date, he’s got a couple dozen numbers he can pick and choose to call. if he’s craving for authentic italian wine right out of the cellar, he can book a flight and visit all of europe with his phone as his only luggage. 

he lacks nothing, and therefore he wants nothing. ricky doesn’t believe in bucket lists— he didn’t believe in bucket lists. at least not until that damned day of reckoning, when the nonexistence of his list suddenly came to existence, harboring one thing and one thing only. 

there’s only one thing he’d like to tick off before he dies. one thing he wants as soon as possible. something that isn’t instantaneously achievable. something that unfamiliarly feels out of his grasp.

ricky, more than anything in the world, wants you to take him fucking seriously.

“you’re so pretty today.” 

is what he says, the moment you enter the office. well, two moments after you enter the office because he had to take the first moment to admire how pretty you are before verbalizing it. he’s down horrendous, he knows— totally outside of the image he’s perfectly curated for the past six months since entering university. you’re the chair of his department’s council, a third year, and by some mystical force or another (read: being stupidly whipped) he volunteered to help prepare for a department event and managed to drag the rest of his friends into it.

said friends being gyuvin and gunwook, who are looking at him in judgment and disgust after completing his daily routine of complimenting your face.

“aw, how cute,” is your reply. ricky wracks his brain for another word for pretty, but you’re quick to move one and leave him in the dust. “thank you, ricky! you’re so sweet. anyway, matthew, how’s the—”

gyuvin snorts. “hey, at least she thinks you’re cute.” ricky throws him a punch but it falls weak from the mental damage. 

cute. he hates it. he’s grown to hate it after it became the symbol of you thinking of him as nothing but your cute junior. are his daily compliments not enough of a giveaway that’s he’s lowkey fucking in love with you? what else do you want? a truckload of roses? a barbershop quartet illustrating through song how stupidly down bad ricky shen is for his unbothered senior?

knowing you, even if he gets on stage in front of the whole university and perform a three-act play of how he fell, head first with scraped knees, into the tunnel of torture that is you and your pretty smile, you’d probably just ruffle his hair and coo, “good job! you’re so talented, angel!” because he’s so cute, so lovely, so never going to be boyfriend-able in your eyes and it eats his despairing soul.

maybe if he rips his heart out of his chest and you see the gaping, you-shaped hole it’ll leave behind, you might finally get the idea.

“quit being a drama queen,” gunwook says, throwing a ball at ricky’s bedroom door that’s been locked shut for a good hour now. it bounces right back into his palm and gyuvin is laying flat on the floor next to him. “it could be that she knows you’re into her, but she’s just trying to reject your advances gently because she doesn’t want to hurt you.”

gunwook and gyuvin hear a crash from inside ricky’s room. 

“that’s— that’s, no. i don’t even want to think about that!”

they’re waiting for him to finish changing (if he is just changing. the crashes in his room are becoming sources of concern). you invited them for a nice buffet dinner to celebrate the success of the event. however, the three of them are already thirty minutes late for the restaurant appointment, and hanbin had to come over and pick them up with taerae in tow after hearing the news that ricky shen— cool guy extraordinaire— is having a breakdown over a girl. 

there are now four men waiting in front of ricky’s locked bedroom. gyuvin gets sick and tired and starts banging on the door. “hurry up! do you want to keep the love of your life waiting?”

“damn, you guys were serious,” taerae posits. “is he actually in love with her?”

“i’m afraid so,” gunwook solemnly shakes his head. 

hanbin hits another concerned knock on his door, and lo and behold, ricky finally cracks open his bedroom door and walks out—

walks out in an ensemble that they can only unanimously describe as jarring. 

leopard print. leather pants. gold chain necklace. a pair of shades are hanging on the way too low cut shirt and they wonder if he’s gonna wear them indoors. he’s got a leather jacket folded over his arm and it’s twenty four fucking degrees.

“what do you think?” ricky asks, eyes proud, expectant, and sparkly. hanbin doesn’t have the heart to break it to him. “i read somewhere that the pattern symbolizes, uh, confidence and sexiness, i think. this will make her stop thinking that i’m cute, right?”

“yeah,” gyuvin replies. “she’ll think you’re hideous instead.”

“google tells me that the leopard print is a symbol of, and i quote, absolute femininity.” gunwook has his eyes trained on his phone. he looks up and gives ricky a once-over. “if you’re trying to go for the femme fatale look, then you’re doing a good job.”

it takes a moment for ricky to react.

when he does, his reaction consists of grabbing onto the hem of his allegedly ugly shirt and starts pulling it over his head.

“whoa, whoa, whoa— what are you doing?!”

gunwook quickly tries to stop him from stripping. gyuvin is laughing his ass off. taerae has a hand covering his mouth. hanbin is stressed. “quit picking on him! ricky, you look fine!” ricky is not fine. his styled hair is not disheveled and he’s visibly upset and sulking. gyuvin is losing his mind. he’s on the floor and hitting the ground.

“are you trying to be cute right now?” taerae asks. this just scrunches up ricky’s brows even more and makes his bottom lip jut forward.

“n...no…?”

“well, shit,” taerae laments. “it’s a genetic disease. she’s never gonna take you seriously.”

the only emotion ricky knows is despair.

he’s supposed to be hot and sexy and handsome, why can’t you see that? do you have a pink filter when you look at him, or something? is that it? that’s gotta be it, right? because why else would you be so unaffected when he feigns nonchalance, brushing through his hair at a precise timing when he notices you starting to turn to his direction. it’s your heart that should be beating like crazy when he greets you with a half-smile and a nod— not his, not his, not his when you return it with a full-smile, so bright and beaming, of your own.

“oh, you’re finally here!”

ricky doesn’t believe in bucket lists. he lives in the moment. he doesn’t want things so desperately to the point where he writes them down on a checklist taped to his desk. the list definitely doesn’t have the words “get miss department chair to fall in love with me” written on it with scrawled letters. and he doesn’t didn’t give himself a deadline to date you by the end of the year.

he’s given himself until the day he dies because the moment he met you was the first time he imagined watching someone walking down the aisle. 

yes, he’s down bad. yes, he sings hopelessly devoted to you in the shower five times a week and replaced the word you with your name. yes, gyuvin has a recording. 

“ah, we’ve been waiting for you, kids,“ you say once they’ve all settled on their seats. kids. he scoffs. insult to injury. he’s pouting and picking on a plate of galbi. he feels like shit even though you’re sitting right across him all pretty and sweet like the strawberry shortcake you ordered— which he’s trying his damn best to not steal a slice from because he’s pretty sure you’re just gonna go, “oh! you really like strawberries, don’t you? so cute,” and he’d much rather choose physical over emotional torment, thank you very much.

“they were caught up in something,” taerae responds to your initial statement. your eyes gloss over them with curiosity.

“why? what took you guys so long?”

four sets of eyes are on ricky and his patterned shirt. the bossam wrap in his mouth won’t swallow down his throat. it was too late for him to change out of the symbol of femininity. mid-strip, hanbin got a text from you so he got dragged out, guilty in leopard prints and gold, out of his apartment.

don’t you fucking dare, ricky glares at the suspicious look gyuvin is wearing as he brings a glass of water to his lips. gyuvin clears his throat, “we had to wait for ricky who was dressing to impress y—” and is subsequently elbowed and chokes on his water.

hot. ricky feels hot. not the sexy kind, but the icky embarrassing kind because he wants to cover his burning face and stab gyuvin with a fork in the process.

“oh?” you voice out from across the table. you’re plucking out wads of tissue paper for a dying gyubin but your eyes are trained on him. oh my god. he wants to rip this shirt off and die, but he can’t do that. he can’t. he hasn’t been working out enough lately due to stress. “not everyone can pull off animal prints. it looks really good on you.”

huh.

“and you’re not wearing your usual silver! you look cool today, ricky.”

oh.

what.

“you really think so?” gyuvin, who has now recovered, eggs you on further in behalf of his malfunctioning friend. there’s steam rising to the ceiling and it’s not from the open grill. he exchanges glances with gunwook and taerae. they catch the signal and press on. “doesn’t he look—”

“—would you dare say—”

“—handsome?”

“hot?”

“sexy?”

you let out something in between a cough and a laugh. 

they don’t miss the flustered jitter filtering the sound coming out of your throat.

mission success.

“ahaha, what are you kids saying?” ricky doesn’t miss it either. the initial shock of you not calling him cute has worn off and now it’s up to him to finish what his friends have started. he doesn’t miss the way you try to brush them off while fanning your face with your free hand, the way you reach out for a glass of water with the other and there’s a nervous bob in your throat when you swallow. “a—anyway, let’s make a toast for the success of our event!”

when he clinks his glass with yours, ricky  maintains eye contact amidst the noise of the cheers. his gaze is deep and you’re caught off guard— escaping with a laugh and turning away as you down half of your beer glass in one go. holy crap. holy shit, it’s working.

ricky can see it. there’s hope for his bucket list. he’s gonna swear by leopard shirts and gold chain necklaces if he continues to get this kind of reaction from you.

“it’s not because of the ugly shirt.”

gyuvin snaps him back to sanity once dinner concluded and they start leaving the restaurant. “it’s because we manipulated her brain waves into finally noticing that you’re hot,” gunwook inserts. they’re all outside now. you’re bidding the other members goodbye and gunwook nudges him forward. “you’re welcome. you owe us a meal.”

now, even with the newfound confidence and hope, ricky’s knees still buckle when he approaches you from behind. why is the back of your head still pretty? why?

at the moment, it’s taerae’s turn to receive your goodbyes, wedged between two cars, one of them his. he notices ricky’s looming nervous wreck of a presence from over your shoulder. “ah, and this is my cue to leave,” he says. “thanks for the meal, miss chair. get home safe.”

“you too, taerae! thanks!”

when you turn around, you bump into him. maybe he intended it, maybe not, but god damn the uncharacteristic flutter of your surprised eyes is destroying his plans to act cool, act nonchalant, act totally unaffected with how prettily you’re looking at him under the dim parking lot lights and the night sky. “oh!” you exclaim after reformatting, after putting on your doting senior voice again and it kills him because that’s a night of progress down the drain. “are you kids heading out now? oh, sorry, this is your car, right? i’ll get out of the way.”

he frowns. totally uncool, perfectly non-nonchalant, and completely affected but he doesn’t care anymore. 

“what do you think of me?”

the words jump out before he knows it. screw his bucket list. he’s gonna proclaim his undying love for you even if it kills him.

you blink. “what?” a laugh bubbles from your throat— a mix of trying-to-brush-him-off but nervous at the same time. “ricky, what do you mean?”

his face is knotting up. he’s totally pouting right now which he’d rather be caught dead than doing, but he’s now twice the dead man. ricky takes a step forward. you take a step back until no more steps can be taken because your back hits against his car, and he’s grasping at the straws desperate to get even an ounce of a hint of a sign that you’re finally taking him seriously. “what do you think of me?” he repeats, voice a little lower this time. your expression is completely taken over by peaches of fluster, this time. no sign of the composure you’ve usually perfectly maintained.

“oh, uhm.” your hands are unsure and held hostage in the air because his arms serve as a barricade around you, palms pressed tightly against the cold glass of the front seat window. you’re nipping at your bottom lip. ricky just died thrice. “what—what i think of you? well, uh, you’re a very good, very cute, very hardworking junior that i adore, and i—i appreciate all the help you’ve offered to the counci— oh!”

ricky lets out a noise and buries his nose into the crook of your neck, arms that were once caging you are now completely wrapped around your waist. he’s putting all of his weight onto you. he is a corpse. he mumbles something unintelligible into you skin and you ask him to repeat it. “i don’t like it,” he says more clearly, still muffled, whiney all the same. “i’m not cute. i’m cool and handsome and totally in love with you but you just don’t get it.”

it’s quiet. ricky is anticipating the worst, which would be you calling him lame and a loser, but you don’t do that. you don’t push him off either.

“how can i not think you’re cute when you act like this?”

instead you pull him in closer. his eyes widen, and he feels your fingers digging into his hair, a tender touch on his nape, and he feels himself melting and turning into stone at the same time. 

“i never thought you were being serious every time you greeted me by calling me pretty. i thought you were just being playful and trying to earn extra points from me,” you hum. he sinks further. the only thing propping him up is you. “but calling someone pretty every day is barely a confession, ricky. how was i supposed to get anything from that? gosh, you’re so cute.”

“it usually works,” he mumbles. he doesn’t want to show you his face. he probably looks stupid right now. “i thought my new shirt worked too. gyuvin and gunwook don’t agree.”

“i think it’s cool.”

you finally pry him off, hands on his shoulders and he feels himself buckling. he’s pretty sure he looks stupid right now— pink and flushed and dizzy, but your face harbors no judgment. “i think i prefer the shirt owner over the shirt though.” only a familiar gaze of fondness and god, he’s so in love and you finally understand that. “now, why the hell are gyuvin and gunwook still loitering out here?”

ricky didn’t believe in bucket lists. at least not until that damned day of reckoning, when the nonexistence of his list suddenly came to existence, harboring one thing and one thing only. 

now, he’s got that one thing crossed out. he’s thinking of adding more.

YOU’RE MY BUCKET LIST. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[miaukima]

hollow kiss, bottle liquor ♡ denji

★ ft pussy drunk!denji x afab!reader. ❝ word count: 0.3k. ⌕ contains: unprotected p ➜ v sex, creampies, dirty talk, overstimulation, ending in the middle of sex. ⌦ a/n: MASSIVE drabble. this was supposed to go along with the aki one in a single post but idk. title from never felt so alone by labrinth. ⇄ & ♥︎ appreciated!

denji is always down to get dirty, eagerness in everything he does with you not exclusive behind closed doors. he matches your high libido face-to-face. his inexperience tends to shine through at times but it isn’t always the case. 

it does when you’re milking his balls for all they’re worth, though.

“so good, it’s so good,” denji groans. he goes an octave higher when he’s like this, all pent-up and desperate for you like he does when he goes on missions without you. you’ve already made him come twice, but you love how he still wants more, how he keeps pounding at your slickness while he whimpers in your ear. “wanna come, baby, please. ’s so good, can i come inside again? pleaseplease.’’

you coo at him reassuringly, petting his hair and flexing your hips so they grind down to meet his thrusts. ‘‘of course, baby boy,’’ you moan, looking at where you’re both connected, pleasure slinging up your spine like you’re bungee-jumping. ‘‘fill me up, baby, make me yours.’’

denji does, as expected, and as the good boy you know he is for you.

he fills you up to the brim, drowning his moans into your neck. his hips keep moving as if under a spell, even though his body is well past overstimulation if the way it’s shaking is anything to go by.

‘‘so good, s’ so good—’’ denji is babbling wetly into your skin. his hands squeezes at the meat of your hips in order to stop them from trembling. ‘‘pussy’s so good it’s gonna make me come again, fuck!’’

you feel close yourself, what with the hours of pounding you’ve been taking. you already came once but with the constant pressure on your insides and denji’s breathy voice next to your ear is about to make you come again.

 ‘‘inside,’’ you whine back, the wet sound of your skin slapping against each other deafening to your own ears. the heat between your own legs is threatening to explode.‘‘want it inside, baby. oh—you’re making me come too, shit.’’

you clench down greedily around him as you come and denji fucks you through it, holding your body tight to his chest and holding onto your tits for dear life. you can’t see his face but it almost sounds like he’s drooling with how good it feels.

navigation | masterlist.

© 𝖒𝖎𝖆𝖚𝖐𝖎𝖒𝖆 2023. (divider cred.)

[kedreeva]

on the topic of peafowl play, would/do peafowl enjoy those pet puzzle toys? would they have the patience or interest to complete 1 outside of food motivation? i don't know why but i always imagine peafowl as the brilliant but lazy types and i wonder if that headcanon of mine has any plausibility lol

I gave my peafowl one of those chicken treat puzzles (this one) which they are supposed to peck/scratch at and roll around, which drops scratch grain slowly on the ground and gives them something to do until it is empty. It's basically two yellow bowls bungee-corded together by a single cord on the inside, anchored at that little black nub. You fill one half, and then "seal" it as a ball- but it's not clipped together or anything, just bungee tension holds it together.

I set it down for Aris for the first time, and rolled it so she could see it had scratch in it that would fall out. She pecked it once, examined it for roughly 10 seconds, and then grabbed it by the little black nub, and shook the hell out of it, bursting it open and flinging scratch all over the pen. She dropped it and everyone went about their business eating the scratch.

I taught Eris how to press buttons to "speak" to me; she had a few treat buttons, a food button, a water button, and some Word word buttons like "want" and "Eris" and "yes" and "no." She used them to argue with me and make fun of me for forgetting to put water in her wet food one day.

I gave Bug toilet paper rolls with holes cut in them, stuffed with paper towels and superworms. She learned to pull the paper towel out almost immediately. She gets a bowl of fresh foods when she goes into her pen in the mornings, and it started with me walking in and coaxing or carrying her in. Now she goes and waits on the perch where I put the bowl. I give anything leftover she didn't eat to the barn crew, so when I go to collect her in the evening, Polaris and Opal are usually waiting on the table where I put the bowl.

I bring Artemis indoors to do paintings with her, and she knows the order is indoors->bath->dry off->painting+treats, so if I bring her in, and she gets a bath, and I wait too long in the drying off, she will start scolding me until we start painting.

If I let the birds out of their pens, they get free range time while I'm outside. When I call "hup hup!" loudly and repeatedly, they all start walking back to the coops. Many of them know up commands. Artemis and Bug have both learned to put their trains up if I ask (and that's a no-treat trick, they just do it). Beep knew "ask nicely" when she wanted something (which is what led to me training Eris with the buttons), so she would scrape her beak on me if she wanted something. Beep also played with a lot of different toys.

I guess the point is that they are pretty smart birds, given a chance and good circumstances. They can be incredibly stupid, too, but the majority of them are pretty smart most of the time. But they don't have a lot of patience for things that are not either immediately rewarding or that they choose to focus on. Beep once spent an hour trying to get the button off my jeans, but if you offer Bug a mouse and move it away before she can get it, she'll usually just stop caring. If you give a treat to one bird, they might snub it, but they'll kill a man for it if someone else gets it and acts like it's good.

So COULD they become interested in a pet puzzle and possibly solve one? Maybe? It really just depends on what's in it for them, and/or how interested someone else is, and/or if they think it's their idea. They don't really have a lot of grabbing strength in their beaks, so that factors in, too. They do NOT like to peck hard things.

They DO like to destroy stuff though. If you could make an edible tissue box, they would absolutely lose their shit about it. Every peafowl I've ever owned LOVES tearing tissues out of a tissue box and ripping tissues to shreds to try to eat. Don't know what that's about. Leftover raptor instincts to disembowel things, I guess.

[insomniac4000]

George Clarke-142

you’re a nutjob.

George leaned against his kitchen counter, his phone perched between his shoulder and ear. His girlfriend, Ella, was excitedly rattling off ideas for their first holiday together.

“...and then after the skydiving, we can do bungee jumping. There’s this insane one over a canyon in New Zealand—it’s, like, 400 feet! Oh, and we have to go white water rafting. I read about this river that’s supposedly cursed, but it’s just marketing. I think."

George blinked, his tea midway to his lips. "Wait, back up. Did you say skydiving and cursed?”

“Yeah! You’ve never done it, right? First time’s always the best, and—”

“Ella,” George interrupted, setting his mug down. "You’re a nutjob."

Her laugh crackled through the phone, bright and infectious. “You love it.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, a grin creeping onto his face. "I like it. Love is a stretch when you’re talking about throwing yourself out of planes or...what was it? A cursed river?"

“It’s not cursed,” Ella assured him. “But wouldn’t that be so cool? Just think of the stories we could tell!”

"Stories, yeah," George muttered. "If I survive to tell them."

Ella was a whirlwind. In the four months they’d been together, she had dragged him into situations he never would’ve considered on his own. Rock climbing, scuba diving, even something called zorbing, which involved being shoved into a giant inflatable ball and rolled downhill. To her credit, George had secretly enjoyed most of it—except the time he got stuck upside down in a harness during their climbing trip. He liked adventure but Ella was on the go all the time.

“I’ll make us an itinerary,” she continued. "We’ll fly into Auckland, spend a couple of days exploring, then head to Queenstown for the real action. Oh, and there’s this zipline that goes over a canyon—”

“Ella, Ella,” George interrupted, his voice rising slightly. "Babe, slow down. Can we maybe start with something a little...less death-defying?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. A beach day? Maybe some sightseeing? Wine tasting?”

“George Clarkeey, are you suggesting we sit on a beach sipping cocktails while I read some cheesy paperback?”

“I was going to say it could be a margarita, but yes.”

Her laugh was louder this time, and George couldn’t help but smile. He loved how fearless she was, how her energy seemed limitless. It balanced his more cautious, calculated nature. But sometimes, like now, he wondered if she ever stopped.

“Okay,” Ella relented. “We can do a beach day. But only one. After that, I’m dragging you out of your comfort zone.”

“I thought zorbing already did that.”

“That was just the warm-up.”

A week later, George stood at the departure gate, passport in hand, as Ella bounded toward him. Her auburn hair was pulled into a high ponytail, her backpack looking like it weighed as much as she did.

“Ready?” she asked, her hazel eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Define ‘ready,’” George joked, pulling her in for a quick hug.

Their flight was long but pleasant, filled with Ella outlining her meticulously planned itinerary. George half-listened, distracted by her enthusiasm. He admired her passion, even if it often left him wondering if he was about to meet an untimely end.

When they landed in New Zealand, their first day was exactly as George had hoped: relaxing. They wandered through Auckland’s harbor, tried fresh seafood, and even watched a street performer juggle flaming torches.

But the second day? That was Ella’s turn.

George found himself standing at the edge of a platform, staring down at a canyon that seemed impossibly deep. A harness was strapped tightly around his torso, and a bungee cord was attached to his back.

“This is insane,” he muttered.

Ella, standing next to him, grinned ear to ear. “You’ll thank me when it’s over.”

“I’ll thank you if I survive.”

The instructor counted down. Before George could fully process what was happening, Ella grabbed his hand and leaped, dragging him with her.

The fall was a blur of wind, adrenaline, and sheer terror. George’s scream mingled with Ella’s laughter as they bounced at the end of the cord, suspended above the canyon.

When they were finally pulled back up, George was breathless, his legs trembling.

“How was that?” Ella asked, her cheeks flushed with excitement.

He stared at her, his heart still racing. “You’re a nutjob.”

She smirked. “And?”

“…and I’m starting to think I might be, too.”

The rest of the trip was a whirlwind of adventure. George tackled the zipline Ella had mentioned, kayaked through crystal-clear waters, and even braved the infamous cursed river. By the time they reached their designated beach day, he was sore, sunburned, and utterly exhilarated.

As they lounged on the sand, margaritas in hand, George turned to Ella. “I’ll admit it—this trip has been...pretty incredible.”

“Told you,” she said, nudging him playfully.

“But next time, I’m picking the destination.”

Ella raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And where would that be?”

“Somewhere with fewer heights. And rivers. And…hazards.”

She laughed, leaning her head on his shoulder. “Deal. But only if you admit you secretly loved all of it.”

George smiled, taking a sip of his drink. “Fine. You win. But I’m still sticking with my original assessment.”

“Which is?”

“You’re a nutjob.”

Ella grinned, wrapping her arm around his. “And you love it.”

George sighed, shaking his head. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

[windudemon]

attachment styles and 16 types

entp, entj, estp and estj are dismissing avoidants. they will basically won't need a deep connection more than a single person. they can have many, many "friends" though and they can absolutely enjoy their presence and have MORE fun/productivity with them but their relationship with these "friends" will be "emotionally superficial". they simply do not see the point of being "vulnerable" with people except that one person. in fact, they don't really want others to be vulnerable with them either. they will play with you and have fun with you in the moment but don't ask them their deepest darkest secrets or something. they won't tell you. they will change the subject. they will "dismiss" your deepening attempts of emotional connection. they don't need your emotional support. they deal with negative emotions not by sharing them but focusing on new positive experiences whether that's drinking or bungee-jumping or speeding or trolling others or working hard for their goals.

esfp, enfp, enfj and esfj are secure types. they won't avoid expressing their emotions. they LIKE expressing their emotions. if somebody make fun of that, it's them being assholes and evil and stuff so that will change nothing for exfxs. basically they got the biggest emotional balls and do not feel like they should protect themselves. naturally therefore their attachment style is secure. they are not guarded.

istp, intp, intj and istj are fearful avoidants. these types deep down need and like and want emotional support. all these types are duals of secure ones in socionics for that reason. but yeah, they are very afraid they will get the opposite of the support so their general attitude when it comes to emotional attachments is an avoidant one. secure types and their open and direct and emotionally/ethically-non-cryptic ways will encourage them to come out of their shells.

infp, infj, isfj and isfp gets preoccupied / anxious attachment style. like secure ones, they also want to create emotionally deep connections but their feelings are more fragile so any kind of rejection will make them take two steps back. but if you are nice, they will come closer and closer and closer. how to explain these types and dismissive avoidant ones are duals in socionics though? i think these types perceive dismissive avoidants even more anxious about feelings than themselves and in a way they are right too. so they empathize with them so they take their time so they use the best method to emotionally approach dismissive avoidants.

visit my main blog @ demonwindu.wordpress.com

[tarpaulinscover12]

https://tarpaulins12.blogspot.com/2023/09/upsetting-covering-securing-bungee-ball.html/

[frothingatthemaw]

Jackass Ask Game

The Valentine: Who is your favorite Jackass member and why?

The High Five: Who is your favorite new member from 'Forever' and why?

Wasabi Snooters: Who's your favorite duo (ex: Pontius and Steve-O, Bam and Ryan, etc.)?

Beehive Limo: Who do you think is the most underrated duo?

Human Ramp: Who is your favorite non-member that's appeared in the movies (this can include special guests)?

The Mini-Loop: Who is someone you wish they had as a guest?

The Rocky: Tremaine or Spike?

Super Mighty Glue: What is your all-time favorite Jackass movie? Or instead, rate them all from your favorite to least favorite.

Rent-A-Car Crash-Up Derby: What is your favorite .5 movie?

The Electric Stool: If you had to choose one Jackass movie to watch forever, which one would it be?

The Muscle Stimulator: What is your favorite 'Jackass the Series' episode?

Puppet Show: What is your favorite Jackass spin-off (Viva La Bam, Wildboyz, etc.)?

The Shoplifter: What is your favorite episode and bit from Viva La Bam?

The Marching Band: What is your favorite episode and bit from Wildboyz?

Electric Tap Dance: In your opinion, which movie had the best ending?

Lamborghini Tooth Pull: What are your thoughts on the ending of 'Number Two' (as it is special to a lot of the community)?

Poo Cocktail Supreme: Do you have any unpopular opinions on Jackass?

Bad Dog: What do you think is the most underrated piece of media from the Jackass franchise?

The Quiet Game: Do you have a favorite quote that came from Jackass? If so, what is it?

Bicentennial BMXing: What is your favorite song used in any of the Jackass movies?

Roller Buffalo: What is your favorite Roger Alan Wade song?

Riot Control Test: What is your favorite bit that Knoxville was in?

Alligator Tightrope: What is your favorite bit that Steve-O was in?

The Brand: What is your favorite bit that Bam was in?

Ass Kicked by Girl: What is your favorite bit that Dunn was in?

Electric Avenue: What is your favorite bit that Pontius was in?

The Boar-kake: What is your favorite bit that Dave was in?

Dum Dum Game: What is your favorite bit that Ehren was in?

Triple Wedgie: What is your favorite bit that Wee Man was in?

The Bungee Jump: What is your favorite bit that Preston was in?

Bicycle Backhand: What stunt/bit do you think is the most interesting?

Tee Ball: What stunt/bit do you consider to be the most dangerous/extreme?

Butt X-ray: Name the stunt/bit that made you laugh the most.

Vomitron: Name the stunt/bit that made you the most squeamish.

The Fish Hook: What stunt/bit is your favorite from each movie?

Duck Hunting: What stunt/bit is your all-time favorite?

Yellow Snowcone: If you had to place someone in a bit that they weren't part of, who would it be and what bit is it?

Anaconda Ball Pit: What stunt/bit is your favorite that includes an animal?

How to Milk a Horse: What stunt/bit is your favorite that includes skating?

The Leech Healer: Which stunt are you most likely to participate in? Or the one you'd like to have participated in the most (you will get hurt/deal with the consequences)? And oppositely, which stunt would you try if you could do it despite/without getting hurt?

Wind Tunnel: Which stunt would you have least liked to be part of?

The Ram Jam: How easy would it be for you to be talked into a stunt?

Mousetraps: Have you come up with any stunt/bit ideas of your own?

Musical Chair Bags: What is the worst injury you've ever had?

Firehose Rodeo: If you own any Jackass memorabilia/merch, what is your favorite thing that you own? What is the most interesting?

Beehive Tetherball: What made you want to create a Jackass blog/interact with the community?

The Strongman: Who is your favorite Jackass blog? Tag them!

The Jet Ski: Who would you want to be friends within the community but are too scared to interact with? Tag them (they just might want to be friends with you too)!

Scorpion Botox: What is your favorite piece fan created content (fanfictions, art, etc.)?

Pin the Tail on the Donkey: If you create things for Jackass, what are you the proudest of?

The Blindside: Tell your story of how you began to like Jackass. When was the first time you watched it?

Medicine Ball Dodgeball: Do you have any special memories that include Jackass? Do you have any funny ones?

Butt Chug: What is something you've found difficulty in loving about Jackass?

The Gauntlet: We all know that Jackass is very queer, are you part of the LGBTQIA+ community in any way? (Feel free to not answer if you're uncomfortable!)

The Swamp Chute: What do you think made you connect with Jackass the most?

Golf Course Airhorn: What Jackass member do you think you are the most like?

The Switcheroo: Which Jackass member do you think you could beat in a fight? Why?

Department Store Boxing: What is your favorite outfit that Knoxville has worn?

The Magic Trick: What is your favorite movie that Knoxville has been in aside from Jackass?

The Invisible Man: If you have watched 'Bad Grandpa,' what is your favorite part of it?

The Toro Totter: What bull stunt of Knoxville's is your favorite?

Big Red Rocket: Do you know Bucket (Knoxville and his girlfriend's dog)? If so, what is your favorite photo/video of her?

Flight of Icarus: What is your favorite Ramones song?

Old Man Balls: Have you ever watched or listened to an episode of 'Steve-O's Wild Ride' podcast? What are your thoughts on it? What's been your favorite episode?

Helicockter: What is your favorite CKY movie?

Whale Shark Gummer: What is your favorite HIM song?

The Fart Mask: Do you skate at all? Have you ever tried to?

The Bear Trap: What is your favorite tattoo that a Jackass member has?

Snake River Redemption: What cup test from 'Forever' was your favorite?

Terror Taxi: Do you think that Ehren gets picked on the most? If not, who do you think did? Who gets picked on the least?

Bungee Boogie: Would you want a 5th movie? Why or why not?

Sweatsuit Cocktail: Have you picked up any mannerisms from any of the members? If so, who and what did you pick up on?

Silence of the Lambs: Favorite Jackass fun fact?

Paper Cuts: Choose your own!

Special thanks to @b4mpyre-k1zz3s and @1991river for helping with some of the questions! And also @you-fuckers-are-asses for just being generally sweet to me <3