#bungee rope

[shrimpalbuspotter]

Albus has so much ambition/wit and so much self preservation... But never at the same time as eachother

He is always rather having the stupidest most far fetched ideas and going "Yeah fuck it this makes sense. This isn't dangerous at all. I refuse to back down from this plan now that I've made it" or walking down the halls in Hogwarts and being uneedingly vigilant for any possibly bullys or other things his brother has warned him roam Hogwarts halls (they dont)

[beneaththeshadows]

From one to ten, how awkward Argella's reunion with Storm's End garrison guards must have been?

[cringefailfagcat]

I want to throw myself off a bridge

[claire-starsword]

Shining Force Country Guide Translation - Part 3

The usual pie chart legend:

Shade

Population: 20 inhabitants GNP: Unknown

Species ratio:

Shade is more of a village than a country. It consists of only a church and associated buildings. So its population is only 20 people. Besides the humans who work at the church, the other species there are elves. They work as guides in the mountain paths. ____

The decline of royalty casts a shadow in the holy land?

A small region at the Sarastone peninsula northeast of Rindo. Back when Guardiana was founded, the Order of the Knights would be frequently sent in expeditions to expand their territory, and this peninsula was the northernmost point they reached, and thus Shade became a holy land directly under the royal family's control. After the wyvern raid from the time of Arissort von Guardiana II's rule, a church was built in this region to appease the souls of the knights fallen in that battle, and the third prince at the time entered priesthood and became its priest. After that it became a place which disseminated Guardiana's ways to all of the western continent, and little by little a town grew around it, thus around 500 years ago it was recognized as a holy city with the priest as sovereign, under the protection of Guardiana's royal family.

Shade's population, including the priest, is a mere twenty people. They are all clergyman who work on proselytizing and studying ancient texts. When it comes to politics, the executive power is Guardiana's, while the judiciary and legislative powers are under the priest's authority. It is generally a neutral state, but takes measures to protect the church against oppressive forces.

Throughout history, the priests have gathered previously lost records about the Castle of the Ancients, decoded ancient texts from all over the continent, thus getting closer to the truth on the Ancients and their civilization with their research. The current priest, Kahn, is in the middle of editing a compilation of this research of the past, named "Prehistory of Rune", and it has gathered attention all across Rune as it might shine a light on the mysteries surrounding the Castle of the Ancients. Unfortunately he's already very old, and many lament that there's aren't enough people to continue his research.

-The church is the highlight of Shade, but behind it is a small village, with some cabins offering guidance to travelers in exchange for payment. People heading to Bustoke should pay for the guides here, or they'll get lost in their way.

-Shade's bell rings once in the morning and once in the evening. The morning time is at 6am, and the evening at 6pm. This bell announcing the start and end of the days is of course heard from Rindo, but some claim to hear it all the way back in Alterone some days.

Priest Kern versus Darksol

Darksol disguises himself as the priest, and appear to the protagonist for the first time. Why did he kill the real priest? The current priest, Kahn, knew a man named Darksol was planning to revive Dark Dragon. He intended to tell Guardiana along with all the information the priests had gathered through the ages, but Darksol became aware of this as well.

Around the time the protagonist got the Orb of Light in the Cave of Darkness, Darksol arrived at the church of Shade, and attacked the priest. Kern might have lost, but inflicted deep wounds on Darksol. That's why he fled from the protagonist that time.

Romanization of the priest's name is my own, as Arthur decides to be unhelpful for this one.

also, I`m sure you’ll be shocked to hear that Darksol fighting the priest and getting wounded, plus the priest’s connection to Guardiana’s royal family, are mentioned in the original game and poofed in the translation, only brought back in the GBA version. I have never pointed out such things before.

Bustoke

Population: 800 inhabitants GNP: 2900 gold

Species Ratio:

The territory isn't big, yet the population is bigger than you would imagine. As for the species distribution, since the terrain is all forest, there's a lot of elves. Among the 18% percent of humans, many have mixed blood. ____

A critical point of modernization arrives to the people in the heights

A diverse country at the north of West Rune. Hunters settled mostly in the forest region among the mountains. As the territory was split between many different tribes, small scale conflicts happened time and time again. In the past, many magical beasts lived in the area, making it an extremely dangerous place, but around 500 years ago, a wolfling hero knows as the Young Wolf King (Zylo's ancestor) suppressed the beasts, and founded the country, unifying the tribes.

As the country has many different races, is crucial to have a strong leadership, and the current king Zylo Dunn Munster (meaning "Zylo, king of the mountains" in the region's dialect) rules fiercely, despite allowing his people many freedoms.

Self-suficient hunting is their main economic activity, so there's not much trading, but the marble and obsidian extracted from the southwest are highly valued as construction materials. However their mining skills are low and haven't been very efficient with these extractions, and thus there's a joint venture with the merchant guild of Rindo to develop modern excavation tools. Also, Bustoke strawberries, which were once eaten even by the magical beasts, and are said to taste great in juice, had their numbers dropped drastically due to overconsumption, and nowadays can only be harvested by the royal family, the exportation to other countries being forbidden as well.

The most distinct point of their livelihood is definitely the unique habitations built in the mountain walls. The natives' faith worship the forest, thus it is forbidden to cut tree for lumber, and on top of that there's little plain terrain, so this kind of dwelling naturally came to be. Since they are on great heights, the temperatures are low. Their designs work well for keeping them cool during the summer and warm through the winter, but in other countries some will still badmouth them as "hole people" or "primitives".

-Bustoke is built among the towering cliffs. It is surrounded by forest and quarries, but that environment doesn't seem to bother them at all. From the tallest point of the country, seeing the Pao bridge is a given, but on clear days with no clouds one can see all the way to the Pao plains.

-The famous bungee jumping of Bustoke. When coming of age, one must jump off a precipice held by nothing but a single rope. Is it a ritual done since long ago for boys born in Bustoke. In recent years, tourists have come to enjoy it as well.

Zylo's full name romanization is from the GBA version. Dunn seems to be a real Irish surname, while Munster is a province in Ireland.

Also, the part about Zylo's leadership seems to be describing his as an enlightened despot, which contradicts his bio describing him as merely as overseer. The bio makes more sense to me given how he is free to leave the country for a good while to fight.

Given this series’ obsession with young heroes I figured the title for Zylo’s ancestor is young wolf hero, however! 青 can also mean blue/green, so technically there’s nothing stopping you from picturing a technicolor furry family for Zylo. Do what you will with this information.

[livefromthegallows]

killing people I WANT ATTENTION BUT IDK HOW TO ASK FOR IT

[mirtiell]

dropping this here bc I'm too hyperfixated on this girlie to not show her off (underediting btw not the final draft)

[lavandulawrites]

Cares

Yandere Kinich x reader

This idea came to me when suddenly and I just had to write it down asap

Synopsis: Ajaw has finally found someone he considers his friend. He is however not the only one. The normally arrogant dragon, finds it fascinating how Kinich is spiralled deep into love and obsession.

Masterlist

Warnings: written in Ajaw’s point of view, Ajaw sees reader as both a friend and a motherly figure, murder, dismembering, Kinich is both down bad and insane, Ajaw cares (?!), drugging, abduction

Word count: 1058

Ajaw found the black haired man to be extremely annoying. He rarely showed any signs of hurt by his remarks and he put him in timeout way too often. He was in other words stupid and a sorry excuse of a man. Ajaw could feel himself greying in anger at the thought of his dismissal. You however, were different. You were kind (nauseating so) and you always brought Ajaw tasty snacks (as he deserved naturally). You entertained him in various means, unlike a certain useless man.

You were the only human Ajaw tolerated. And he made it known to you. For that’s how kind the Almighty Dragonlord was. To both his dismay and his curiosity, he was not the only one who thought highly of you. Oh, far from it.

Ajaw tried to stay out of human concerns as much as possible (it was after all offensive to his greatness to be a associated with humans), but he found it fascinating how much Kinich cared for you. He would always bring you food if you had forgotten to bring any, put on sunscreen for you (Ajaw found it gross how Kinich’s face reddened at the feel of your skin, he could sometimes swear he could see him wetting his lips like a hungry dog. Disgusting), take you on picnics and buy you gifts. The great dragon never got such nice things from him, even when he had been on his best behaviour.

When Kinich had managed to persuade you to try bungee jumping with him, Ajaw had for the first time in his life not had the desire to cut the rope and let you fall straight down with a splat. It was a weird feeling.

Conflict always seemed to rise whenever you were conversing with someone who wasn’t Ajaw nor Kinich. Ajaw was only offended that you speared another human your time instead of bringing him snacks, but Kinich was seething. His jaw was clenched so hard Ajaw could almost hear his teeth breaking in half. His fist tight causing the veins on his arms to stand out like a sore thumb. He clearly always intimidated the stranger enough that he or she left in a hurry. Had Ajaw not been as strong and amazing as he was, he would himself have been frightened.

Your naivety and kindness was something that clearly troubled his servant. He always worried about you and always came up with poor excuses to see you (be it meeting you or watching from the shadows). Normally would Ajaw not help him, no he would rather have sabotaged him, but since it was you he lend him his hand. You were clearly rather weak compared to the raven haired man and himself. Shorter than Kinich and not a fighter. Which was something the hazel eyed man seemed to appreciate.

Following you around became an everyday occurrence and Ajaw for once helped Kinich. When Kinich asked him for his help to orchestra a dangerous situation where he would come in and save the day, he didn’t think twice before agreeing.

He still wanted his body, but it was no longer his main focus. It was a strange shift in his behaviour, but not unwelcome. It was nice to have a friend after all.

Months had passed and both him and Kinich had gotten closer to you. It was clear as day to Ajaw that the ancient name bearer was head over heels. Especially when he caught him sniffing some clothes he had stolen from you. Ajaw never let that go and tormented him with it whenever he saw fit.

It was a lazy sunny afternoon when Kinich came barging into their home. His eyes were blown wide in rage and his limbs shaking. Ajaw was an expert in recognising blood thirst and Kinich oozed of it.

“The fuck are you barging in for, you useless fool?!” the dragon trumped his foot angrily on the air.

“Shut up, Ajaw. I need your help.”

“Don’t talk to the Almighty Dragonlord like that!! I should teach you a lesson! And why on earth should I help you?” he crossed his arms and raised a brow.

“It’s regarding [Name]” he didn’t need to say more for Ajaw to agree to help.

The forest was thick and dark. Mist covered the ground as far as they could see. Kinich had swung his claymore without his help and already ended the puny man’s life. That was he got for being a treat to your well being he had said. Ajaw had to agree.

Kinich dragged the body through the forest creating a bloody trail behind them. The metallic scent hung heavy in the air causing Ajaw to bare his teeth. Such an awful smell.

The man was as useless in death as he was alive. Heavy he was too, judging by the laboured breathing of the normally strong man.

The body was thrown on a makeshift table of old wooden planks. Thin fingers ran over the many knifes and cleavers in the worn knife roll. It was obvious to the yellow dragon that this wasn’t the first time Kinich had dismembered someone. It was a mystery just how many he had slain in the name of protecting you.

With a giddy smile, Ajaw watched as he lifted the sharp cleaver and started working. The bald easily cut through the flesh. With furrowed brows he worked around the bones with the precision of the most talented butcher. It was an eerie sight; the black haired drenched in blood.

After about an hour or so, he was finished. “Do you know of a good place to dispose of this?” he asked the dragon.

He watched through his sunglasses of your struggle. It was fascinating how you thought you could overpower the taller man in your drugged state. Kinich was clearly irritated which made the sight even more entertaining. It had been so fast. Before you know it you were drugged by the juice Kinich had so kindly offered you and brought home to the two of them. Not that Ajaw was on to complain. He found your company enjoyable and he even cared for you.

He couldn’t wait to see how this would unfold. What would happen first? Would you accept your fate or would Kinich finally, properly snap?

Only time would tell.

[insanefemme]

Lowkey would like to jump off a cliff right about now

[corkinavoid]

A list of things I've done that pissed my mother off, but as Batfam + Team Phantom edition

Bruce: got into a verbal fight and held a year-long grudge at my teacher for not giving me a fair grade at an annual competition, and proceeded to go out of my way to win said competition next year

Alfred: refused to eat her food, got told to cook for myself and did so, ending up with both my dad and sister saying my banana bread was the best thing they've eaten

Dick: swung on the bungee rope over the dry riverbed turned into junk yard, fell, miraculously did not die, went to that same bungee rope the next day

Babs: organized a stake out, found out which neighbor had been messing with trash bins when everyone blamed raccoons, called said neighbor a raccoon for the next three weeks

Jason: kept reading books at night with a flashlight, when said flashlight was taken away, lit a candle and accidentally almost set the house on fire

Tim: fled to a different country across the globe without telling anyone except my sister, who's been 7 at the time, and did not respond to any calls or messages for three months

Steph: picked a dress with glitter for a dinner with her relatives after specifically being told not to, was forced to change, but took my revenge by exploding a glitter bomb in the car when we have already arrived at the relatives' house

Cass: responded with 'sorry I didn't quite catch that could you repeat' to her very long rant, over text

Damian: successfully clawed and gnawed at a classmate's face after they destroyed my painting

Duke: was the leader of school rebellion over the 'no wigs allowed in school' rule in sixth grade, managed to convince two teachers to join, ended up with the rule taken down

Danny: accidentally shocked myself with a tazer I stole from her handbag, cried, when she came to ask what happened, showed her by repeating the accidental electrocution

Dan: pushed my maternal aunt into the pool and watched her flounder, knowing very well she is a bad swimmer, when confronted about it later argued it was the kiddie part of the pool and she could not have drowned

Jazz: told her I was in love with a girl she disliked, when she voiced her opinion on it, made a whole argument about how I'm supposed to learn from my own mistakes and not from her experiences

Dani: zoned out while she was yelling at me, came back to her saying 'you're no better than a pig', impulsively told her 'it's because of genetics' and started oinking

Sam: painted my nails and toes on my left hand and left foot black, dyed my hair purple, but only on the left side, as well as got a piercing on the left eyebrow, while the whole right side was left 'natural'

Tucker: learned to change the wi-fi password and held power over the internet every time she took my electronics away by asking a friend that lived nearby to come by my house and using their phone to change the password

Bonus:

Selina: repeatedly stolen antique jewelry from grandma because she, in turn, stole it from my other grandma

Valerie: turned rogue, teamed up with the opponent team in lasertag and helped them win over my own teammates

Talia: threatened a person I will carve their eyeballs out with a spoon if they ever as much as look at my sister funny again, a month later gave them a decorated silver teaspoon as a birthday gift

Jack Fenton: failed my driving license test seven times, three of which were on purpose

Maddie: ruined her plans of my picture-perfect marriage by friendzoning a son of her friend, claiming I'm saving my love only for the important things like mozzarella

Vlad: scared my sister shitless by telling her a scary story about ghosts under her bed and then hiding under her bed and making 'boo' noizes

Clockwork: purposefully made her experience deja vu by wearing the exact same clothes and greeting her the exact same way in the exact same place for three days in a row

[skandfabrication]

[a-hazbin-reader]

Can I please request a Vox x Female Childish Reader just like the meme that goes...

Random Imp: Hey! Some dude is jumping going off to the bungee swing backwards!

Vox who was currently talking to the other 2 V's: Hah, What an idiot

Female Reader: I'M GOING OFF THE BUNGEE SWING BACKWARDS!!!

Vox: Oh no...THAT'S MY IDIOT!!!

I'm up for any ask that gives Vox a headache

Vox X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: None?? I think?? Cartoonish scenarios??

Description: ☝️⬆️

You are so goofy and childish and it's one of the reasons Vox actually fell in love with you

It's so refreshing to have someone who's always looking for fun things to do in Hell instead of being miserable or scared

When he first met you, he assumed you were just stupid, watching you run from a group of hungry cannibals while calling it tag

Almost considered leaving you to your fate but something about the way you squealed in excitement as they caught up to you made his heart flip

So he reluctantly saves you and you've become a thorn in his side ever since

A thorn that he's come to love and look forward to seeing every day, often wishing he could just blow off work to spend time with you

Literally does everything you want to do, even at the price of his own pride, that's how whipped Vox is for you

You wanna play the floor is lava?? He's jumping on the nearest piece of furniture and trying to knock you off your perch

You're playing hide and seek?? Fine! Vox is roping in the other V's and he's literally tearing apart everything to find your ass

How tf did you get INSIDE the couch!?!?!

He's in a meeting with the other overlords and you suddenly start a game of Duck Duck Goose, picking him as the goose???

You bet your ass Vox is chasing after you like you owe him money, the others just watching in bewilderment

You start a pillow fight?? He's going to start a pillow WAR

He wants to fucking WIN

Literally adores your childish nature but won't admit it to anyone, no matter how obvious it is

On the other hand...

You fucking stress him out sometimes, getting yourself into the strangest situations

Vox once caught you playing hopscotch with Alastor, winner gets to keep your soul

WHY DID YOU AGREE TO THAT

Relax Voxie~ I won anyways~

You get yourself into a game of musical chairs with a humongous dinosaur demon??

Vox is still having nightmares of you being squashed by that gigantic ass 😒

One of the worst things you've ever done to him is video call him while you're about to do a bungee jump

He was stuck discussing business with the other V's when you suddenly appear on his phone, immediately cheering him up

What could his cute Y/N want now~?

"Hey Voxie~! I'm about to jump off this bridge and do a flip! I want you to watch me!!"

"You're gonna WHAT!?"

Nearly short circuits right then and there, his screen glitching out from the sudden wave of stress

He zaps your way the moment he sees that you're jumping, grabbing the bungee rope and pulling you up with his own two hands

Vox ignores all your whining and pouting over him spoiling your fun, pulling you into his arms and shaking from the adrenaline rush

You are just so confused, you were only having fun...it's his fault for being so busy all the time that you get bored

He's still trying to get his breathing back to normal when he suddenly touches foreheads with you

He squishes your cheeks together and gives you a tired look

"You...are not leaving our bedroom for the rest of the week..."

"Voxie!! That's no fair!!"

I hope this is what you wanted!! I had so much fun writing it!

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

This is a direct follow up to #391

#396

“Fuckface, I don’t care what demons your preacher dad put into your head.  The fact that you are coming to the realization that that part of your life is over.  He must have really fucked you up, cause I have never seen a twenty-year-old take a beating like that.  I shredded your back to ribbons, and all you did was say you were sorry over and over.  You almost make me feel sorry for you.  But I don’t….

“But the sad thing is I do care that I have the son of a vehement anti-gay preacher in my cab.  A son that was rock hard and leaking while I was laying my whip into you.  Did you know that?

“Yeah, while you were crying, your dick was loving every minute of it.  Let me ask you.  You want this?  You want to suck dick, take it up the ass, and get smacked around for a life?

“You are going to have to do more than nod.  Here, come back with me to my bunk.  You are going to suck on my dick a bit….  Kneel there between my legs while I lay back….  Yeah, I know you’re still sore, but oh well.  Help me get these pants off….

“Ok this is what I want you to.  I’m going to be filming you.  This will be your confessional and coming out video in one.  You are to suck my seven-and-a-half-inch fat dick, but I want you to pull off and talk to the camera from time to time.  But when you do, I want you to jerk my dick and rub it on your face continually as you talk.  You are to tell the camera that you love cock.  You can’t get enough of it in your mouth and  in your ass.  Tell the camera that you’ve been living a lie, and you denounce your previous life—a life you have no intention of returning to.  Also, tell the camera that you ran away from the first driver at the first chance you had.  He needs to be washed free from any responsibility of you.

“You got all that?  It is important that you hit every one of those points.  And when you are done sucking and talking, I’m going to lift my legs.  I want you to move down to eating my hole.  Make sure you moan.  Still stroke my cock.  I want to show the viewer how much of a pig you are.  You ready?  Look at the camera.  Go!…

“…

“…Atta boy.  That was good.  That video will definitely make a statement.  And I love that your gold cross from your necklace was able to make an appearance or two.

“You can stop slurping my shit hole now.  You’ll have plenty of time to do that later.  Help me get my legs down.  We need to get going, and I need to install you.

“Install is the right word here.  Here, put these wrist restraints on….  Yeah, you ain’t the first faggot I have bound up in here; you ain’t going to be the last either.  Normally I would just hogtie you to the bunk, but since I am bobtailing, it would be very rare that we’ll be pulled over by the DoT. 

“Here’s some ankle restraints for you to put on as well.  I own this trailer outright.  I have made a few modifications for my transport of fag meat.  These heavy-duty bungee restraints are better than chain or rope.  As we roll down the highway, they will keep you in place with your legs spread and secured to the sides. 

“Move aside; I need to be behind you.  This third bungee will connect your two ankles together.  All three will keep you centered with your legs apart.

“Give me your hand.  Your wrists will be attached to bungees as well.  I’ll have you standing spread eagle naked as we drive the next few hundred miles.  When I bought this tractor I made sure that there was a little extra room.  Some of these cabs can be so tiny.

“That one went on easy.  Now the other.

“…There!  How does it feel?  No, don’t bother answering.  I don’t care. 

“Damn you look good, being all stretched out.  Your back and ass are nicely welted up.  The bleeding seems to have stopped.  This is so hot.  Arch your back and stick your ass out.  I need to fuck it.

“I don’t have much time.  Damn you are still loose from earlier.  Fuck.  This cunt was really made for cock.  It’s not going to take me much time.  Oh yeah. 

“…Mmmmm.  Oh yeah.  This cunt is going to be used tonight.  I contacted my riding buddies.  You ever been gang banged by a bunch of gay and bi bikers?  They know how to use faggot piece of shits like you.  They know who you are and who your papa is.  They won’t care that you made those videos demonstrating your love for cock.  They’ll probably make their own videos too. 

“I’m getting close boy.  Tighten up around my dick.  Fuck yeah boy.  You ready?  You ready?  Here it comes boy.  Ahh. Ahh. Ahhhhhh!!!!

“Damn faggot.  You have a righteous cunt.  Clamp down as I pull out.

“We got to get going.  I still have a few things to add. 

“This is one of my creations.  It’s like an anal hook except that it’s got a butt plug on the end instead of a steel ball.  It goes in your cunt like this.  Normally faggots like you struggle, but with the amount of dick you received today, you have one giant gape.  It’s affixed to a metal rod that goes from your cunt and up your crack to the small of your back.  There this heavy chain will suspend you from the ceiling. 

“There’s no bungee on this.  It should help you deal with the truck movements.  I used to have a slave mounting post with a dildo mounted on the top, but it was too cumbersome to work with in this tight space.

“This collar gets secured to the chain as well.  Nothing puts a fag slave in its right frame of mind than a collar being locked on.  Well, excluding a back full of welts and cuts.

“This necklace and its gold cross is coming off.  You don’t need it anymore…. 

“Shut up!  That was a statement of fact, not an invitation for an open discussion….  I don’t give a shit who gave it to you.

“…Open your mouth.  …You are the reason why God created gags.  Hold still, I just got to buckle it on.  …There!  No more talking for you.  You’ll be blindfolded, but there are other things I need to show you.

“Hold still.  I need to get in front.  Can’t much drive while standing behind you.  Oh, I should hang this from the roof as well.

“OK move aside, now.  …There!  You look good there all spread out. 

“But I’m not done.  You need to be wearing my jewelry….  The first is a pair of titty clamps, and not just any titty clamps.  These have weights dangling from them.  It hurts, doesn’t it?...  Good.  Second set goes on.  Ha!  You can’t pull away.  Those bungee cords and the anal hook pull you right back in position.

“They’ll be tight, but you will still have blood flow.  Damn that looks better dangling on your chest than some gold chain with a cross.

“Oh lookie there!  With all that I am doing to you, your pecker is semi hard.  And look at those balls!  They are just hanging there.  Don’t worry.  I have something for them too.

“This is a ball collar.  It’s flat and wide.  It opens, closes, and locks in place rather easily Your sack fits in very comfortably in the half-inch space between the front and back pieces, but there is no way that either ball will be able to squeeze through.  Once it’s on, like I just locked it in place, there ain’t no way it’s coming off unless I allow it.

“Feels fine, doesn’t it? 

“The other interesting feature is that it has a ring in the center of the front and a matching one in the back.  And wouldn’t you know, I have weights to attach to it.  That’s one, …and that’s the second. 

“Oh look at those balls getting pulled away.  Fuck that’s hot. 

“I should say that the weights on your titties and your balls are attached with a strong elastic connector.  So they are going to be bouncing around.  Every pothole I hit, every uneven part of the road, every gear shift, this cab rocks back and forth. 

“We are bobtailing.  That means that there’s no trailer, no trailer to stabilize the movements of the tractor.  It’s going to be a bumpy ride, and those weights are going to be bouncing all over the place.

“You ready to get rolling?

“Oh wait.  There’s one more thing.  I need to show you this…. 

“…You look puzzled.  I bet you are thinking, why does a truck driver have a toilet brush?  There are no toilets in this cab…  well no porcelain ones.  I can’t speak to your talents… yet.

“And look at it.  It’s an expensive one.  Solid metal handle.  The bristles are firm.  I would hand it to you to feel, but your hands are otherwise occupied.  Trust me when I say this.  This fucker is heavy.

“Before coming to stand in front of you I hung a very elastic cord from the roof about 6 inches behind you.  This brush now hangs from it.  With every movement of this cab, it’s going to bounce and swing all around behind you.  It may even strike you, reaching anywhere from your thighs to your shoulders.  Your bloody welted back is a certainty. 

“Hey!  I just had a great idea.  Let me take your necklace and wrap it around the bristles.  That way as it strikes your back, you can thank your dad and thank Jesus.

“Ok blindfold on.  My secondary dash cam is filming your struggle.  And lastly, my noise canceling headset will be on.  If I can find one of your dad’s sermons on the evils of the gays, I will blast it for you to hear.  Found one. “Let’s get rolling.  Damn, not even into third gear and the screaming have begun.”

[sirenlulls]

radio → f. pugh

pairing — florence pugh x actress!fem!reader

summary —where the most anticipated movie of the decade leads to you being shipped with nearly everyone except your actual girlfriend

written for my 100 follower celebration!

yourusername i pinky swear i'll take all spoilers... to the grave...

thank you to anyone and everyone involved in the making of this movie, you truly became my family over the past few months. i love you all 💞 (i hope everyone enjoys the little dump of my fav little babygirls)

florencepugh i miss it (and you) already!!

yourusername we've got a lunch date tmrw wdym 😫

username lunch DATE?????

username girl stop being delulu 🥱

tchalamet 🔥🔥🔥

yourusername 1/10 comment, so boring.

tchalamet rude.

username no bcs they'd be so cute together...

username i see the vision

username and the way they were so giggly in the press vids??? it smells of a relationship in here

harrystyles it was fun getting killed by your crazy fiance!

yourusername what did we say about spoilers harold? 😁😁

tchalamet have to kill you irl now too

username now idk if i'm just bi..... but her and harry......

username I GET U!!!! and the vids of her from hslot during the summer?? THE LOOK OF LOVE

username MOTHER IS MOTHERING

username pls tell me it's not just me who's lowk upset that so many of the comments are shipping her w timothee and harry

username no i feel it too like grow up, touch some grass, stop worrying abt the dating life of a 25 yr old celeb

username ur literally the reason i realised i like women

yourusername just posted a story!

yourusername lover, you should come over has been on blast 🤭

username ITS NEVER OVER

username ALL MY LOVE FOR THE SWEETNESS OF HER LAUGHTER

florencepugh pretty girl 💞

yourusername that is ALL you

tchalamet 🤢🤮

yourusername 🥰🔪

username oh the twitter girlies were WRONG wrong 😭😭

gemmachan beautiful people ❤️

yourusername love u sm mama

harrystyles the real reason louise tried to help carla run away:

yourusername you really never learn do you?

harrystyles ...gay rights! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈😁😁

username he's got the spirit ❤️

florencepugh i love you 💞

yourusername i love you more 💕💕

username bungee jumping w no rope rn 🤣🤣🤣🤣