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maitanii · 2 years ago

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Hii🪄💕 this questions are so interesting so it's time to be a intensita about them. 15, 18, 28, 35, 39, 46, 55, 86 and 87! They're a lot and ofc don't answer if you feel uncomfortable <33!

you can be as intensita as you want, i love talking (writing)!

long answers ahead because i'm avoiding studying like the plague

15. Is there a song, book, movie, or other piece of media that has drastically altered your life? What was it, are there multiple?

I live for culture. Books, movies and music are my entire life.

If I had to pick a song, it'd definetly be You'll be in my heart, by Phil Collins. Tarzan is not my fav movie, and Phil Collins not my favourite singer. But that song? I get chills everytime because I have memories that I can replay in my mind when I listen to it.

Haikyuu was the piece of media that changed my life. I watched because some girls in Wattpad recommend it to me. Years later, I've met both of those girls irl and they're some best friends I have.

One of them is from a different continent. Last summer she came to my country and we had the chance to meet each other after 6 years of friendship. It was one of the best days of my life, not only because we felt like we had been friends for our whole lives, but also because we gave each other the same gift; the first manga of Haikyuu <3.

When it comes to books, Hiroshima by John Hershey (I try to not think much about it because it made me feel horrible but it's necesary to read it) and All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven (i haven't watched to movie and i'm not planning to) the books itself isn't that amazing, but it made me falling in love with reading again, so i apreciate it a lot <3

18. You're offered a one-way ticket to any place and time in history you want. You cannot return. You can't exist at the same time as your current self. You won't carry any diseases, nor will you be infected by others, you have enough money to survive (if relevant). You can speak the local language(s). You still look like yourself and have all your memories. Do you take this offer? Why or why not? Where do you go? What do you do? Does your answer change depending on whether you can alter the future or not?

I probably wouldn't take it because I love deeply every person that is in my life, but that doesn't make my answer interesting, so I'm going to say France in the 17th century, Versailles to be precise. I want to steal Louis XIV heels.

28. What has influenced your taste in music?

My mom <3 and my guitar professor! When i was a kid my father used to record my sister and I CDs to listen to music while we were on the car, and my mother was usually the one who made the playlists for each one of us. We both share favourite songs and whenever i'm playing some oldies she comes and tells me "i used to dance to that song when i was your age!"

As for my guitar professor, it's kinda obvious why, but he teached me so many good songs and also, how amazing classical music can be. He's a rockstar and he used to tell me all of the stories from when he was in a band.

35. What's wrong with you? Physically, mentally, whatever comes to mind. What's right about you? What are your best and worst traits?

I'm glad to say that physically, I'm a healthy person! But when it comes to mentally issues...lol.

I think about catastrophes only. Maybe it's because I study journalism and I know how fucked up the world is. But I get anxious thinking about the worst outcomes of everything, and it's truly unhealthy. I can't eat, sleep or keep a straight face when something bad comes to my mind. Still, I never tell anyone about it because I don't feel like worrying someone with my thoughts (my bf got really angry once because I started hyperventilating during a date night when the thoughts got really bad and I simply couldn't explain what was going on).

If I had to choose my best trait I think it'd be that I know my worth, and that I'm really good at reading people. After High School I unfollowed a lot of people in social media and decided to surrond myself with people who just felt right. Even here in Tumblr i don't interact with people that don't give me good vibes, maybe it's stupid but i feel safer that way.

39. What taboo do you think should be discussed more, if any? Alternatively, do you think a topic that isn't taboo should be?

The death of someone dear to you. I remember when I first experienced that kind of lost. Nobody wanted to talk to me about that. They wanted me to be distracted. And I was okay; until I wasn't. And not everyone's ready to talk about topics ike that, I understand and respect that. But I really needed someone to talk to me and ask me how I was doing, not to make me feel miserable and say "pobrecilla".

Well, I don't think this one should become a taboo again but I feel pretty uncomfy when conversations with strangers revolve only around sexual topics. I'm not new to sex. I talk about my sexual life with my friends and people I trust. But when I'm in a group of people that I don't really know and they can only talk about that, I just feel weird (?) Like, i shouldn't be listening to that.

46. Do you have a "right person, wrong time"?

I always think about my best friend. One summer, we were having a conversation and he confessed he used to like me. I told him "how could you liked me?" and he answered "how could i not?". It left me spechless and I started to think that maybe I had feelings for him. But I was dealing with a self-esteem crisis and decided to gaslight everyone! I stopped talking to him for months until my feelings went away :) It worked and we have never talked about that topic again. Sometimes I think of what could have been if he had confessed to me at the right time.

And then....my boyfriend (lol). We met in high school and we started dating after months of friendship. Then things got awful and we both were miserable. We broke up in bad terms. We met again at university! and we started talking again! this time we took things slowly, as if we were getting to know each other again. And we decided to establish boundaries to make our relationship healthy. We knew what we wanted and what we didn't want to go through again. And it worked! Communication is the key.

55. What reminds you of your childhood?

Christmas, my dad, Selena Gomez (I wanted to be her so badly), magazines, Geronimo Stilton, tanned skin and pigtails.

86. What could you talk about for hours?

Music (especially Nirvana and The Beatles), History and whatever I'm brainrotting about in that moment. But I feel annoying after talking for too long so I always try to shut up as soon as possible.

I truly appreciate when someone likes to listen to people being passionate about the things they love as much as I do.

87. What do you wish people would stop asking you?

What are your plans for the future.

I. Don't. Know.

I know i should worry about it but I'm dealing with my present, I don't have time to think about what my future self is going to do.

Same thing with my partner. I don't know if I'm going to marry him or if we are going to live together, but right now we are good, and that's all that matters to me.

If you read the whole thing, let me give you un besito en la frente from the distance (the southern part of the country <3)

Hope you have the best night, gayetita!

#martha answers a question writing the Bible

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girlsgonemildblog · 4 years ago

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Valley of the Dolls and Hollywood's Desire to Self-Protect

Poster from imdb.com

Valley of the Dolls (1967) tells the story of three young women working in show business in the 1960s. Originally adapted from Jacqueline Susann’s 1966 book by the same name, the screenplay was written by two women, Helen Deutsch and Dorothy Kingsley. The director for the film, though, was a man, named Mark Robson. The plot centers around three protagonists, Anne Welles, Neely O’Hara, and Jennifer North. Their stories connect and separate several times as they each navigate Hollywood, growing in stardom and fading into oblivion. All three storylines follow two themes, the role of women in the 1960s and the abuse of drugs by these women to deal with the pressures of their culture. The film largely stays true to the novel, but alters some important aspects in order to soften the critique that Susann originally proposed. Valley of the Dolls is an attempted commentary on societal demands on women in the 1960s, but is unsuccessful in its criticism due to continuing to perpetuate several misogynistic standards and Hollywood trying to alleviate itself of guilt.

Valley of the Dolls is one of few movies from its era that centers on multiple female leads without allowing for any male characters to come in and dominate the narrative. The story goes further than to just portray women, and even passes commentary on the harmful expectations put on them by society. There are messages about the workforce, body image, and marriage roles all present. Still, while the film may seem to have a feminist message for most of the plot, it falls short in its final moments. The two women, Neely and Jennifer, who are outwardly ambitious and more sexually promiscuous, are punished for their behavior, while the virginally pure and soft spoken Anne is the one who gets a happy ending, though not in the traditional sense.

The first woman to look at is Neely O’Hara (Patty Duke). Neely, the youngest of the three, is also the most talented and the most ambitious. While her two co-protagonists experience minor stardom, Neely becomes a full-fledged celebrity. As Neely begins her rise to the top, she is forced to work out, despite already being nearly rail thin. During her work-out montage, she even asks her trainer, ��you call this acting?” This moment serves to show that for women, being an actor was not strictly about their talent, but also the way they looked. Working out is a part of the job for Neely because if she gains weight, people will no longer want to look at her and thus she won’t be able to be on stage or screen.

The affect of her ambition on her womanhood is also seen through the depiction of her first marriage to her hometown sweetheart, Mel (Martin Milner). When Neely gets her big break, she asks Mel to marry her, flipping the tradition of a man asking a woman. This is the first evidence of the gender role reversal that will be present later. In one scene, after Neely has made it and begun earning more money, the audience sees that Mel is now in charge of keeping house, a job typically meant for the wife at this time. The two get into an argument and Mel, sick of being bossed around by Neely, states, “I am not the butler,” to which Neely retorts, “you’re not the bread winner either.” The two get divorced shortly after. In the beginning of the movie, as Neely is about to be cut out of the broadway show, Mel gives her advice on how to handle the situation in a way that is both best for her career and best for earning money. Mel is more than happy to support Neely’s ambition when she is starting out and he is controlling her success. When Neely grows beyond his grasp, begins to overshadow him, and no longer needs him, the turmoil of their relationship begins. Mel’s male ego cannot handle having a wife who not only is not reliant on him, but who he is reliant on.

In contrast, Jennifer’s fatal flaw is not her ambition but her body. The audience is introduced to Jennifer (Sharon Tate) as she is scantily clad in a leotard with a giant showgirl headpiece on. Her first line is concern that she cannot walk, “I feel a little top heavy,” to which her director replies, “Dear, you are top heavy.” This is met by a chorus of laughter from the men in the room and clear distress from Jennifer’s face. Jennifer’s sin is simply her breasts and her beauty; she is punished for merely existing in her natural form. On the phone with her mother, she states, “I know I don’t have any talent, and I know all I have is my body.” She recognizes that she has no marketable skills, but with the way that society has commodified the female figure, she can use her natural assets to get ahead.

Jennifer’s plot line introduces the character of Miriam (Lee Grant), the sister of Jennifer’s husband, Tony (Tony Scotti). Miriam also manages Tony. This is interesting because all the other women in the film are controlled by men, but Miriam is not only not controlled by a man, but controls one herself. Jennifer, who seems not to have a manager, but operates as an independent, eventually is taken on by Miriam, emphasizing the way that Miriam acts as a male figure, controlling and dominating her world like men normally do. Miriam eventually sells Jennifer into porn. When Jennifer tries to protest, Miriam insists, “Tony wouldn’t know the difference.” Jennifer’s plea of “well, I would,” falls on deaf ears. Miriam views the world like a man, thinking only a husband should be offended by his wife’s immodesty, not recognizing that the woman is also a person with feelings about the exposure of her own body.

Jennifer’s whole life and career is based on her body. When she is diagnosed with breast cancer and must get a mastectomy, she states, “all I ever had was a body. All I know how to do is take off my clothes.” She is realizing that without her breasts, she will have no way of earning a living or supporting herself, as she has done her whole life. This drives her to suicide, deciding she would rather die than lose her body. The message of this scene is clear; despite the fact that society has deemed her figure the only thing that gives her value, her exploitation of it still must be punished by death. Women are supposed to surrender to the forces of the patriarchy, not use them to their own advantage.

The third protagonist, the redeemable protagonist, is Anne Welles (Barbara Parkins). Anne is introduced at the very beginning of the film through her own narration as she tells the listener that her family’s home has been around since the revolution, showing that she represents American tradition. The story of George Washington drinking from their well symbolizes that people like Anne are what give America life. This American idealization is what protects Anne throughout her career. As she enters the office for the first time to the slut shaming of a pregnant cat, the audience immediately knows that this place will not be very friendly to women. This is fortified when her boss tells her she is “too good looking” for her job and talks about getting her “broken in”. This is exemplifying the idea that beautiful women aren’t meant for work while also objectifying them by talking about women like they’re shoes.

Her romantic interest, Lyon (Paul Burke), who is also her boss, calls Anne, “barely pink” when he first meets her, admiring how young she is. He later tells her that jewelry is not for her, and that she should only be gifted flowers, specifically white ones. These are both attempts to preserve Anne’s delicacy, or “pinkness”. Diamonds and gold are too flashy for a soft spoken woman like Anne, and the white flowers clearly symbolize purity. Constantly throughout the entire film, the audience is reminded of Anne being special and unlike other “bad” women such as Neely or Jennifer. At one point Lyon tells Anne that no other girls compare to her because they can’t “stand up to her image”. Not her actual person or personality, but her image. Anne does not have actual personhood in the eyes of Lyon, but exists only as the idealized woman.

This is further exemplified when she becomes the Gillian Girl. The man who hires her says he wants someone known with Gillian exclusively. The idea here is they want her to be only an image of beauty and innocence; if she works with other brands or as an actress she becomes more than one-dimensional and people can discover that she may have flaws. Anne’s ability to maintain her image of perfection and purity throughout the entire film is why she gets to live happily ever after at the end, unlike her two counterparts. She returns to her hometown and lives out the rest of her life as the embodiment of American tradition.

This movie gets its title from the nickname that Neely gives the pills that she and the other two protagonists all become addicted to. The name, “dolls”, calls to mind a picture of girlhood and female adolescence, highlighting how young Neely is (only 17) when the story begins. Many movies of the 1960s, such as Dennis Hopper’s Easy Rider (1969) were depicting taking psychedelic drugs and having crazy trips. Valley of the Dolls shows a different type of drug use, the abuse of painkillers. Though the main characters are movie stars and models, their drug habit was likely more relatable to the suburban movie-going audience than that of Hopper’s characters. It was all too common for housewives to be prescribed “mother’s little helpers” to deal with what was condescendingly written off as “hysteria”. Another difference between these two movies is that psychedelic trips were portrayed as freeing, eye-opening experiences. In contrast, the painkillers are entrapping for the women and ultimately ruin their careers and end their lives.

The character who has the least interaction with the “dolls” is Anne. This is done to keep the idea of Anne as the “pure”, “good” character. The way she begins to take the drugs is interesting, though; she first picks up the bottle when she realizes that her long-term boyfriend, Lyon, is having an affair with her best friend, Neely. This serves two purposes. This first is that it shows that the pills are not used for pleasure, like psychedelics would be, but for numbing purposes. This also displays the corruptive force of Hollywood; it is not until the plot moves from New York to Hollywood that these women turn sour. Because of this city, Neely betrays her best friend and sweet, innocent Anne is driven to drug use.

Jennifer is seen taking the pills two times, twice as often as Anne is. The first time she takes them is when she learns about Tony’s illness. Again, they are used to numb emotional pain. The second time Jennifer is shown taking the pills is when she purposely overdoses on them to kill herself. This is the most extreme version of numbing difficult emotions a person can take, and the most obvious way that the movie could show that these drugs do not provide enjoyment but rather stop misery. What the “dolls” provide is nothingness, and Jennifer takes this nothingness to its maximum.

Neely is the character whose story is most entangled with drug use. She begins when her trainer gives her diet pills to slim her already thin figure. During this montage, the audience clearly sees Mel, the symbol of her pre-fame life, shake his head and tell her no, but she responds with a shrug, as if to say, “what’s the worst that could happen?” Shortly after, she tells Anne that she takes sleeping pills that are so strong, she has to take red pills to counteract them to wake up in the mornings, but then must take the sleeping pills again at night because the red ones have not yet worn off. Taking the pills is an endless cycle for Neely that will lead her to spiral to rock bottom.

In a following scene, Neely is seen being an absolute mess on the set of a movie, causing them to call for her husband to take her home because she cannot work under such strong influence of drugs and alcohol. When Anne and Lyon go to check on her, Anne lectures her about the danger of drinking while taking the pills, but Neely asserts that she must do so because it makes them work faster. This moment shows the desperation Neely has to stop feeling. Later on, after getting drunk in a dive-bar, having sex with some random nobody, and being robbed the morning after, Neely overdoses and nearly dies. Anne implies that this may have been intentional, despite Neely insisting otherwise. The audience is left to wonder.

During the third act of the movie, after Neely has gone to rehab and gotten clean, her older rival, Helen Lawson (Susan Hayward), brags about how she never needed pills like Neely did. Lawson claims her current sobriety is only temporary and Neely will eventually return to her old bad habits. The character summarizes Neely’s entire story with one line, “nothing can destroy her talent, but she’ll destroy herself.” Lawson’s words come true; Neely’s final scene sees her relapsing on opening night of the show she’s supposed to star in and being replaced by her younger understudy, the very thing she was afraid of. Her story closes on her drunk in an alley, screaming her own name.

To properly analyze this film, one must compare it to its source material, Jacqueline Susann’s novel by the same name. Though the movie stays true to the novel in most major plot points, there are distinct narrative changes and omissions that drastically alter the story. One of the most distinct examples of this is that Lyon refuses to marry Anne until the final scene of the film. In the novel, he marries her when they first reunite in Los Angeles. When he begins his affair with Neely, Anne is pregnant with their first child, which gives Anne a stronger motive to turn to the pills than she has in the movie. The book version of the two women are also much closer friends, which creates a more dramatic change in Neely’s character than in the film. Removing these two extremes makes Neely’s character arc less impactful.

Another aspect that was removed is Tony’s obsession with sex. An important part of Jennifer’s characterization is that she has always been made to feel that her body is her only source of value. This is added to, in the novel, by the fact that sex is the foundation for her relationship with her husband. This is only alluded to in the film with one line when they are walking in the park. In the novel, it is emphasized explicitly at multiple points. One of the reasons Jennifer chooses to kill herself rather than lose her breasts is because she believes she will lose even her husband’s love. The film likely made this change, as well as the marital change, to make the characters of Tony and Neely more sympathetic. While this goal is accomplished, it also softens the harsh realities that Susann was trying to expose in her novel.

One final difference between the film and novel is the ending. In the film, Lyon finally proposes to Anne and she rejects him, getting to move on with her life and live peacefully. She gets a happy ending. The novel ends with Anne and Lyon still married, her discovering that he is having yet another affair with a client, and her returning to the pills. This final note makes it clear that there are no happy endings for women in this city. The change is another example of Hollywood trying to show itself in a more flattering light than the one Susann placed on it.

Valley of the Dolls, the novel, was written by a female author as a way to condemn the mistreatment of women in the 1960s, specifically the mistreatment perpetuated by Hollywood on women in show business. The film adaptation tries to duplicate this commentary, but fails for multiple reasons. The first is that it chooses to save the “good girl” character. In the written work, all three stories ending in tragedy shows how no woman is safe from the effects of the patriarchy. Opting to protect the “pure” character alters the message completely so that it is no longer a criticism but a continuation of the idea that ambitious, promiscuous women deserve punishment and good, virginal women deserve happy endings. In addition, it omits important plot points that provide motivation for the characters self-destructive actions, such as Anne taking the pills for the first time and Jennifer committing suicide. By removing the catalysts, the characters are turned into cliché hysterical women. The film fails to adapt Susann’s novel correctly because it replicates the sensational bits while omitting the message. Unlike the book, the film serves only to entertain and not to critique.

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escxpiism · 4 years ago

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( olivia holt, 23, she/her ) * hey, i’m looking for the office of ALICE ADAMS. they’re the EMPLOYEE who’s known around the office as THE MASK if that helps ? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re ADAPTABLE but JADED, is that true ? i also heard that they’re the one who CATFISHED DAVID HASSELHOFF. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered.

hi y’all !! i’m may ( 21 // est // she/her ) and i am super super pumped to be here !! i’m also very much writing this against my better judgment ya girl’s running on four hours of sleep and has the option to sleep more but......... is not tired ?? so i do apologize if my mind is secretly tired and makes this intro,,,, even worse than it would be fahouedn. on with the show !! anyway anyway!! feel free to like this if u wld like 2 plot and i will hit u up!!

( also, for some vibes if you so choose to read, here’s the link to her playlist ! )

----------------------------------------------------

QUICK FACTS:

full name: alice audrey adams

date of birth: october 26th, 1997

*will not perfectly reflect the zodiac big three below because that’s.... math.

zodiac big three: scorpio sun, virgo moon, taurus rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual

education: ged, bachelor’s degree in film — pratt institute

enneagram: 4w3

mbti: enfp

temperament: sanguine-melancholic

label: the mask

various inspirations: “nutshell” - alice in chains, “santa monica” - everclear, “polly” - nirvana, “jennifer’s body” - hole, “creep” - stone temple pilots, kate wallis ( cruel summer - shhhh ), heather davis ( crazy ex-girlfriend ), satana hellstrom ( marvel comics ), bojack horseman - without the amount of problematic ego ( bojack horseman ), eddie huang ( fresh off the boat ), the great britney spears evolution ( temporarily stopping at circus era )

BACKSTORY:

triggers in order: toxic family dynamic, grooming (nothing super in-depth), kidnapping (? like it was ‘willing’ but no. see next trigger for why), toxic “relationship” (and 11yr age gap w/ a 16y/o we hate it), straight-up captivity, very brief mention of suicide + heroin (very!)

*would like to quickly preface that this isn’t just Dark for the sake of being r/im14andthisisdeep but that’s for a later time **(also! i have markers for where the grooming + Super Dark parts begin and end! -- also, the Super Dark part is all very public knowledge. had articles. media frenzy. first thing that comes up if you google her name) *** also. if u need it then a tl;dr is below this section hfkldsa

alice audrey adams was born to the type of family that names all of their children alliterative names ( however, they sadly didn’t get their own kardashian-style show )... alexis adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... alfie allison adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... born to anna adams and allen adams... we hate it here.

as u can see... all of the kids were basically named after allen... they all had ‘al’ names.... extremely confusing

plot-twist: THAT’S the darkest part

the adams were very concerned with public image. as a family in the upper echelon, they simply had to be! a narcissist father, a distant mother, put in competition with her siblings — there was no truly healthy dynamic in the household. but they looked good. they went to church every sunday, a ‘wwjd’ sticker on the back of her mother’s car. they did just enough activities and took just enough trips together to get the image across. they threw parties. they attended parties. they were the picture perfect american family — they even had two cats in the yard! life used to be so hard!

of course, in reality, this all left ms alice quite the lonely gal. but don’t worry! she didn’t turn to hedonism! lord no! instead, she turned to other people. a lot of friendships — couldn’t tell if they were real or #fortheclout — but at a point, did it matter?

grooming tw: it all came to a screeching halt when she met luke johnson, the son of their neighbors. he came back from california to georgia to visit family, care for his ailing father. oh, he was a good man! sure, he was ‘somewhat’ older than her — 27 when she was 16 — but he was such a good, handsome young man! and they were all still calling him young man, after all.

alice ‘began’ a torrid affair with luke after about a month into his visit. although she saw no immediate wrong in it, he insisted she keep it a secret ‘for the time being’ — which really just made it all the more exciting! he made all the storm clouds that hovered disappear.

one day, the levee broke for alice (still figuring out what exactly happened because i don’t wanna go too dark since this is already extremely dark, but trust that it had something to do with her parents and was just enough to push her over the edge). convinced luke was the only safe person, she turned to him. knowing their small community would catch on and essentially exile him, he took that opportunity to convince her to go back to santa monica with him where they could ‘start anew’ after his father’s death.

there are a few details i plan on adding regarding like. how legality playing into it. but i may just reserve those for an official bio lhakfsdfj

**BEGINNING OF SUPER DARK** for a while, there was the question of whether they should consider it a kidnapping or not. she went with him willingly, but she was still underage (and… you know, that age difference… the power dynamic... gross y’all). the adams insisted that it was (bc it basically was lbr) — primarily because it would make them look far better — but the community still questioned the logistics and legalities of it all… ugh. did the police really wanna deal with that? ugh.

in any case, on the other side of us america, autumn was nearing. alice would have the very occasional inquiry over how school would work (very occasional! don’t worry, luke!), over the logistics of her new life… and, after receiving multiple calls from various friends (in addition to her siblings) that sounded genuine, began wondering… if she’d made the right choice. questions about him.

when she began bringing up the idea of going back — at least for the school year!! — he would continuously remind her that she was not old enough to buy herself a plane ticket (and he was not about to do that). she also couldn’t rent a car yet (and he certainly wouldn’t let her take (one of) his car(s)!). but most importantly? he loved her. and she loved him. (what a creep!)

so, for a hot second, it seemed like she was stuck. damn legalities!! damn love!! you know, until she texted her older sister back with all of the problems that only being 16... and “in love”.... caused. her sister offered to fly down, buy her a plane ticket, and fly back with her.

when luke saw this (with all the unrestricted access to her phone he had so he could block, delete, and manipulate as he pleased), he confronted her. things went awry. she wound up in his budding wine cellar (which he soon emptied, of course… those merlots :( ….). he messaged back and, as her, said it was actually all good!! luke had figured out the logistics and she could call whenever she wanted!!

and those calls became frequent! because she would pick up when luke held it up to her! because she was pretty sure luke would kill her if she didn’t!

she wasn’t sure how long it was until she was officially Found. it took what was ruled a suicide by luke, a shot to the head and heroin in his system, to finally get any authority’s attention. all she knew was that she went to santa monica in mid june and she stopped seeing regular daylight by late july. so some time in august to some time in april… **END OF SUPER DARK + GROOMING**

she was returned to georgia shortly after and everything was different. from herself to her friends. but everything was also the same. from her room to her family. it was all… teasing. she began going to therapy, but she really sucked at it?? so she just let her therapist rely on various articles that covered the event. because it had been a media circus. good enough, amirite??

she didn’t have the will or patience to put on that peppy facade she’d had before, but there were still a few things she found a smidge of joy in. music (although her taste had… slightly altered and wow! it’d been almost a year since she’d picked up that bass!), videography… just those small things, you know??

for the first half of the ~ 2014 fall semester ~, she attempted actual school. really was not working out. with, for probably the first and only time, her parents’ approval and understanding, she dropped out and studied for a ged -- shorter and self-led -- instead.

she passed with a pretty decent grade... but it’s been argued that she really shouldn’t have gotten into pratt institute (she was at least realistic and didn’t apply to, like… cornell), but she did. national news helps.

while in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, she learned of masters. she submitted an application as a joke — because her grades sucked!!!!! — but guess who got a job?? oh, she could pretend it was because her selected portfolio was actually genuinely good… but, man… we all know…

fun fact: my uncle applied to harvard as a joke. some twenty-five years later, we still haven’t heard back :\

she… continues to suck. like… she kinda wants the place to eventually burn down?? figuratively speaking (or is it…) but ya, for all the monopolizing she has seen turn people Evil?? but the hell can she do about it… just gotta make sure she keeps her in-house videographer job… maybe she can do something about it when she like… is capable. fuaihoelwdjkn

she sees an in-house therapist and i’d say ‘good for her,’ but it was mandated l m a o

doesn’t talk about herself all that much!! but that might not matter for some people, yk?? ugh journalism <3

y’all im so bad at ending intros.

TL;DR:

(consult above trigger list): bright kid in a super rich and toxic family because obviously. everything they did was just to look good <3 also they all had ‘a’ names which is the biggest tragedy of all :( ‘fell in love’ when she was 16ys/o with a 27y/o who was visiting to care for his father in his final days. had a torrid affair. creep. creep (luke) basically made her ‘fall in love.’ she thought creep was the only safe person at one point and creep was like ‘wanna go back 2 santa monica w me?’ and she was like ‘yes.’ and everyone was like ‘was this kidnapping... we cant tell....’ then he became even more possessive when she started questioning him and some logistics. when she finally found a way she could go back to georgia for a spell, he was like ‘no u can go in my wine cellar btw i will be taking all of the wine out.’ he kept her there from august to april and... only reason he didnt keep keeping her was bc he was Caught so. back to georgia where the devil went down. everything was Worse. even the things that were the same. but hey, the sob story that landed her in the news plenty of times got her into a college she shouldn’t have gotten into and gave her a leg-up in a joke application for a job at masters (in-house videographer). really bad at doing her work but like... fuck the man i guess??

PERSONALITY + HEADCANONS:

has no time for Fake Nice (which, as a born southerner, she’s really good at sniffing out!). has no time for arrogance. kind of makes her at odds with the nyc upper class...

on that note, still got a lil bit of some georgia twang

she lets herself indulge in various vices, but has left a previous hedonist status. weed and alcohol are still pretty common, but everything else is kept at arm’s length.

also, while on that topic, she Does Not drink wine. being trapped in a cellar... kinda makes u averse. like. literally despises it. will go on autopilot and make it KNOWN if offered wine.

also ALSO while on that topic, after looking it up and seeing she fits the new york city requirements, she has a medical marijuana card <3 the one good thing, if u ask her, to come out of therapy/psychiatry <3 will not show it off unless absolutely NECESSARY bc then it gets personal or <3 will lie about why and say it’s like for epilepsy or sumn unless ur rolfe but <3 she has it <3

at odds with herself. enjoys the company of others, definitely has a history of being an extrovert, but has become very selective with the company she keeps.

VERY private person! has had enough public standing!

...has occasionally used her story to advance her tho bc it’s her national newsworthy tragic story and she can exploit it if she wants <3

when good charlotte said “i don’t wanna be in love”?? she felt that. her last ‘relationship’ ruined that for her <3 save her <3

used to be really into pop! bc pop is fun! she loved some britney (i mean... she still does... how can u not!)! but. her taste has changed drastically. rarely listens to pop. has traded britney for like.... hole and the like.

her parents didn’t use this as the basis for her name but,, 2 me,,, she’s named alice for a reason <3 gotta luv alice in chains <3

y’all i found a youtube comment on a video called ‘nirvana - half the man i used to be’ (the song was, in fact, ‘creep’ by stone temple pilots) and it’s <3 her music taste <3 click here for it <3

the above said, dresses like she’s in seattle in the early 90s.

her rumor is true btw she DID catfish david hasselhoff and she will proudly tell u. it’s her best accomplishment.

completely stopped talking to her parents and got cut-off a while back ago so now she’s livin like the Prols

which is how a rich kid one of my profs once advised referred to his classmates.... hilarity ensues.

the above in mind, her parents say she’s testing the waters as a ‘normal person’ to save face. they can’t have anyone knowing their family isn’t perfect <3

she has a pet turtle whom she named “dr. turtle,” although he’s constantly referred to as “doc” or “the doc.” he has his own youtube channel and tiktok account.

she has a wall full of evidence that courtney love did not kill kurt cobain... it makes sense, believe me.

became a vegetarian...... partially because it was different from her original life and a way to control something, partially because this commercial made her feel SO BAD.

literally her default mode is stoned like... a totally sober alice is rarer than a nessie sighting

when she was 18, before she could ‘hold her liquor’ as well as she can now, she got a lil too drunk and now has a portrait tattoo of courtney love on her forearm. but it was done well at least!!

kind of ironic considering her career, but RARELY posts on any social media site except twitter. after the media circus in 2014 and All Eyes On Her, she’s just..... so tired...... of ppl seeing her face and being like ‘omg ur that wine cellar bitch!’

(drugs tw) has become more and more Addicted to playing around with fate. j chill on a ledge, talkin to some pals, but deciding it’s a good idea to swing her legs on the wrong side of ledge? totally! mixing a lot of alcohol with opioids which she is not accustomed to? DEF!! (end tw)

more to come!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

i have two (2) queued up!! but while we wait for them to post, i’ll just… link them over here: 1, 2

muse u <3 the other half of her subplot from the main <3

her older sister!

her younger sibling!

some of the basics!! you know: close pal, roommate, drug buddies (but she gotta hit them up), fwb, ons, frenemies, enemy

ppl who recognize her from the 2014 luke johnson articles and have either brought it up or,,,,,,, act Awkward™

cld be fun 2 just have like. a jam bud. someone who plays any instrument and they j. jam sometimes.

ppl she sells. some of her medical marijuana to. bc yk what weed may be legal in nyc now but,,,, she’s still found a way to be broke she will accept anything. and also it just became legalized THIS YEAR so!!

i have a budding wc page @ https://escxpiism.tumblr.com/wcs (and when i say budding, i MEAN budding) so feel free 2 check it out!!

more to come!!

#masters.intro #alice | intro !#this took me like....... 2hrs 2 write so i do indeed think my mind is fooling me and actually lagging behind.

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jawritter · 5 years ago

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You and Me...

Chapter 4

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!Jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chapter Warnings*** Okay guys please pay attention to the warnings I’m about to say! This chapter gets a little heavy, and this is where it all starts to kind of pick up. This chapter will contain hints of non-con/ rape. Rough smut, Jensen is a complete ass hole in this one, and before you ask there is a reason for it, mostly to give you a peek at his mindset before things really get rocky for him. The actions of the characters in this fic are completely fiction, and they are not to be seen as reflections of the people themselves! Lighter warnings are language, self-loathing (implied on Jensen’s part), mild descriptions of injury related to sex, nothing heavy there’s worse out there, degrading actions in a way, regret, angst, smut, I think that’s everything. (At least I hope so.)

Word Count: 2236

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen Ackles x Misha, Jensen Ackles x Jared, Jensen Ackles x Jessica, Reader X OFC Alex

A/N: When I originally wrote this chapter I didn’t even know who Steve Carlson was, so the Steve in this story isn’t him lol. Oddly enough I wrote this before I even really knew he was making an album lol. Anyway, all mistakes are mine, please don’t copy my work, Feedback is golden. If you want to be added to the series tag list, or my tag list just let me know! I hope you enjoy this one. After this chapter things tend to start to pick up a little.

Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

Jensen’s POV:

“I can’t believe she got you back!”

Jared was laughing, leaning up against the bar in Jensen’s kitchen. Misha was sitting across from him, trying to hide the fact that he thought it was more than a little funny as well.

“Yeah man, you kinda ask for it,” he finally said, taking a long swig of his beer. A smirk firmly planted on his face and his eyes sparkling with a hint of amusement.

"Screw you both,“ Jensen said, turning around and grabbing himself a beer out of the fridge, a smirk playing across his face. He saw the hint of jealousy cross Y/N’s face when he greeted Jennifer today. He didn’t miss that every time he gave Jennifer a compliment, or flirted with her just a little bit that it was getting under Y/N’s skin. He knew Y/N had a crush on him.

He’d been in the entertainment industry long enough to be able to pick it off a girl’s face across a room. Which came in pretty handy at bars and parties.

He saw the way her breath caught when she met him for the first time. He saw the smirk cross her face when he got pissed today while she was screwing with him.

Jensen slipped his tongue out and over his full pink lips, letting it run across his lips slowly, followed by his teeth pulling slightly at his bottom lip.

"I know that look,” Misha said not even trying to hide his amusement at this point. “He likes her,” he said, looking to Jared grinning like he’d just won the lottery. “Jensen’s got the hots for Y/N,” still with that same evil smirk on his face.

“What? No, I don’t!” Jensen said, getting up from his seat he’d just sat in across the bar from Jared and turning his back to them again so that they could not see his face, acting like he was cleaning up a spill on the counter.

“Oh yeah, I’ve seen that look before. You got a crush on Y/N. Furthermore, I think she may have it for you just as bad. She just doesn’t know it yet,” Misha said, taking another swig of his beer, raising his eyebrows annoyingly.

“I do not have a thing for Y/N,” Jensen said, still trying to defend himself. “She’s a self-absorbed little bitch.”

“She’s only a bitch because you’re a dick,” Jared said, staring at his friend and trying his best to read him.

Jensen just stopped wiping at the counter and stared at him. The conversation he walked up on coming back to his mind. The look on Y/N’s face when she said that he was probably gonna go fuck Jennifer later stun more than he wanted to admit it did, even to himself.

He ran his fingers ideally over the small piece of paper in his pocket that Jennifer had slipped there when he hugged her goodbye today. No doubt it was her number. He definitely had a chance to get her in bed. That’s all he’d want from her anyway. She seemed like a nice enough girl, but she was a lot younger than him, and he didn’t want to screw up her life by letting her get attached to him. It had been way too long since he was ‘with’ a woman, and he needed to blow off some steam.

“I’m definitely thinking about hooking up with that blonde though,” Jensen said with a smirk, his friends exchanged worried looks between themselves.

“Jay she’s young, man,” Jared said looking at his friend, his concern grew more and more by the minute. He’d never seen Jensen act this way before, much less heard him talk about or to a woman the way he has lately.

“She’s legal,” Jensen said, waving his hand, and blowing his friend off, and pulling out his phone and the little slip of paper.

“Whatever man, I still think it’s a bad idea,” Misha said, getting up and finishing his beer. He didn’t like to see Jensen in this state, and he wasn’t going to watch him sit around and do something stupid.

“I’ll see you guys around. I got a charity event to help organize. You guys gonna be there?” he asked, looking at Jared more than Jensen. Seems like Jensen’s plans had already been set for the night.

“Sure man, I’ll be there,” Jared said, getting up to see Misha out to his rental car. Jensen just grunted and continued texting, setting up his meetup for tonight.

Your POV:

Sitting at your friend’s bar in downtown Austin you take a look at the room that was buzzing around you.

It wasn’t late, but it was a weekday, so the crowd here was kind of calmer than usual. You liked it when the bar was like this. Less noise and chaos. Alex, your friend, was leaning in on the bar cleaning off some spilled alcohol from a few minutes ago when he tried to show off his shot stacking skills and failed miserably. You needed the laugh. He was always good for that. That’s why he was one of the people you were closest to. He always knew how to pick you up when you needed it.

“So, how much longer do you have to work with said dick?” Alex asked, you weren’t supposed to tell anyone that Jensen was recording at your work, but you knew Alex wouldn’t tell anyone.

The two of you had met In college, and he was the older brother you never had. You told him everything. You always had. When you started having trouble in any way you always told him. This Jensen issue was no different.

“Not a clue. Kinda is up to him. However long it takes for him to correctly cut the 12 songs he’s chosen to record. He’s talented enough, but he’s such a raging ass hole,” you tell him, taking a long swig of your beer.

“You know it seems a little out of character for the guy. I’ve seen all the convention videos and watched the tv interviews. He didn’t seem like a dick then. Jared said he was going through a divorce. We don’t know what his ex-wife did. Just give him some space and some respect. We’re not in his shoes and we don’t know what he’s going through. He may loosen up around you now that he knows you can hold your own,” Alex said, walking down the bar to wait on another customer.

You knew he was right. He usually was. Alex always tried to see the best in everyone, no matter how they presented themselves. That was just his way.

Maybe some of this was your fault. You hadn’t exactly handled this situation like an adult either. So if you were being completely honest with yourself, you could be partially to blame.

Tomorrow you will try and make peace with the man because you didn’t really want to go to war with someone like him. You also had watched the con videos, and the thought of having to deal with an ass hole who likes to prank people just wasn’t falling very high on your bucket list.

Tonight though, you would enjoy the fact that today you won. That would be enough. You still had to work with the man for the foreseeable future. There was no reason to have to go to work miserable every day, just because you couldn’t handle a little attitude from a client.

You were going to be the bigger person if it killed you.

Still, when he looked at you, no matter how mad you were at him, or how much you tried to hate him, you get that same feeling deep in your gut that you haven’t been able to pinpoint yet. It bothered you. It bothered you more than it probably should have. Cause once he was done with this recording, you knew you’d never see him again. That was probably what got to you most of all.

Jensen’s POV:

Sliding his now softened length out of the young blond laying underneath him, Jensen immediately stood to his feet without even looking at Jennifer he started for the bathroom. She laid there on the bed, saying nothing, just staring at Jensen. A pissed off look on her face.

That was not what she expected.

That wasn’t what she really wanted.

How could she tell him no though? He really gave her no room for an opinion.

Jensen had been a little rough with Jennifer purposely. All he wanted was to do what came there to do and leave. He didn’t want her getting attached, and catching feelings that he honestly wouldn’t be able to reciprocate it.

Someone else seemed to have a hold on him already, no matter how much he fought against it.

He could tell she hadn’t enjoyed what had just gone on between them. He had got off though, and so in his opinion, his mission was accomplished.

When he came out of the bathroom he saw her sitting with her back to him slipping her shirt back on over her head. He saw the light purple bruises he had left on her neck and sides. Flashes of what went on a few moments ago ran in front of his eyes.

Her small frame slamming against the door. His hands roughly undressed her. The feeling of his hand firmly around her throat. The look of fear in her eyes.

He shook his head trying to shake the image from his mind. Guilt already starting to take its hold.

When she stood to slide her skirt back up her legs he saw the bruises he had left here in the shape of his fingers. She had told him he was hurting her, that she wanted him to stop; but he didn’t. He just kept going until he was finished... Why didn’t he just stop…

Jensen swallowed hard, trying to not vomit in the middle of the hotel room floor. His own actions made him sick to his stomach. Why did he do that? What the hell was wrong with him? He didn’t want to hurt her. He just… He just lost control, taking things out on her that he’d obviously had pint up inside of him since the divorce.

Walking over to her without a word Jensen looked down at her, and she wouldn’t look at him. Damn, he’d screwed up now, and he knew it.

Putting his finger under her chin, making her look at him. He stared at her for a moment. There was something wrong, no light there. The excited girl he’d taken here just an hour before long gone.

He hated what he was doing, but he had to protect himself.

“Let’s just keep tonight between you and me. No need for anyone else to know,” he said, winking at her like it could solve everything, and she’d just melt at his feet and forgive him.

He knew that wasn’t going to happen. She said nothing, just stared at him with hate forming in her eyes. Pulling a few bills from his pocket, Jensen threw it on the bed next to her. She looked down at the money, and then up to him.

“Show yourself out,” he said. grabbing his wallet and heading for the door.

He hated himself for what he just did. He saw it now. He needed help. The look on that poor girl’s face haunting his memory as he drove back to his house, stopping several times along the way to throw up. Even though it started out consensual, it hadn’t ended that way and he knew it.

He didn’t even make it to the front door before another wave of bile fell from his mouth uncontrollably, having already lost the entire contents of his stomach on the drive home.

He had turned into a monster. He hated himself for what he’d just done, but he couldn’t take it back. It was done. There was no way to fix it.

Images of himself repeatedly ramming himself into her. The dead star that took hold on her face after she finally gave up begging him to stop. The tears that were pouring down her face. How she tried to squirm away from him...

Another wave of sick came falling from his mouth as he stood in the shower, scrubbing his skin raw under scalding hot water, trying to wash the monster away. He’d never forgive himself for what he’d done to Jennifer. He dreaded facing her at the studio tomorrow. How in the hell was he going to face someone he’d hurt so deeply?

He drank himself to sleep that night, texting Jared telling him that he was sorry for the way he’d been acting, promising he would stop being an ass hole. He didn’t tell his friend what he’d done, he couldn’t, he could never tell anyone. It would die with him, shame making him hate himself deeper than he ever thought was possible.

He laid there that night praying that whoever was listening up there would forgive him for what he’d done.

Give him another chance.

—————————————————————————————————-

Tag List:

@deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @alanegaming @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin

Series Tag List:

@imaginationisgrowth

@idksupernatural

@fuzzycloudsz

@supernatural-bellawinchester

@vicmc624

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fic #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles dark fic #hurt!jensen #jensen x you #jensen x reader #jensen fanfiction #jensen fanfic #jensen #dark fick #SPN fanfiction #SPN Fanfic #SPN #jensen ackles series

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practicalmagicintuitions · 4 years ago

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What you say it's very true but he can't tell a women what to do to her own body.

And I love Chris, he's such a great actor but sometimes I feel like he's a bit overrated.

Like he says on TV: "I like to f****** girls in the #" and people were okay with that? Any women saying some kind of things would be called a whore.

Even when he leaked his own photo accidentaly, people were defending him saying he has anxiety but when Jennifer Lawrence was hacked and her photos were leaked people insulted her and saying she shouldn't take the photo at the first place.

In fact Jennifer is doing low profile since this happens and I find it so sad. The person who hacked her deserves the hate and insult, not her.

I hate the society, I hate men, I feel like it's unfair.

It's funny that the first impression I had of Chris was "he looks like a douchebag" then I saw him talking about his anxiety and he was seeing "it's okay, everybody is afraid of something" I feel the same way, since the first quarantine I was experiencing panic attacks, crying every nights, feeling weak, couldn't sleep...

I really found comfort in him not in his looks but his personality, he's really relatable even I don't know him. Like this huge guy seems so tall and strong and he has social anxiety? How come?

But now I feel like he's just another creepy guy who doesn't really care but himself.

Flirting with any kind of women he finds attractive and hooking with him because he's famous and good looking? Even he's dating another girl, he doesn't care.

I feel like he's more a Johnny Storm than Captain America in real life lol.

I can make a little comment on this because Inam so not update with this guy.

But you are right, I always find creepy amd extremely intrusive if a guy wants to tell his gf ( or any woman in general) what to do with her body. Don’t matter it it’s a hair color, bigger boobs or her intim area. That is just an asshole move. If you don’t like her body and that is so important to you just go and find an another one. And if you love her, just accept her ( unless she has some life threatening condition)

I remember when he leaked his D pick his fans started to do another hashtags or something and someone said it would be nice if the peoplw of the internet could do this for a female too, who didn’t leak her mude accidentally but was a victim of a hacking.

I said this many times and will and don’t want to upset anyone but until women make differences between good girl and bad girl, making comments about wife material or mistress one, excusing men’s behavior because “those are just men, boys will be boys, they are using their D to think” women will never have true equality. Because this mental state is perfectly fit for a man.

I don’t think he is more duche than any good looking, rich leading men in Hollywood. But money, fame, women throwing themselves at him is altering the personality. But I am glad you found comfort in him. And I can imagine everything he has maked him anxiety worse.

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books · 5 years ago

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Writer Spotlight: Daniel Kibblesmith

Daniel Kibblesmith is an Emmy-nominated writer for The Late Show With Stephen Colbert and has written comics for Marvel and D.C., including Marvel’s Loki (2019) and Black Panther Vs. Deadpool (2018). He co-wrote the humorous How To Win At Everything (2013), and is also the author of the picture books Santa’s Husband (2017) and Princess Dinosaur (2020). He was one of the founding editors of ClickHole.com, and his comedic writing can be seen in places like The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, and APM’s Marketplace. He works and lives in New York with his favorite author, Jennifer Wright.

What are your inspirations for Loki?

Loki is ever inspired by himself (or herself, or themselves), and that was how it worked for me, too. I was a big fan of Loki as a villain in the MCU, but I hadn’t read a ton of Thor-related comics until I got the gig. The exception was the Journey Into Mystery series by Kieron Gillen and a whole roster of great artists who—alongside Tom Hiddleston's MCU appearances—really set the mold for the modern take on the character. So I re-read that, and from there I expanded outward into past and future, and read the tremendous Agent Of Asgard comics written by Al Ewing, Lee Garbett (and other artists), as well as going back to early 60's Loki appearances orchestrated by his own creator gods: Jack Kirby, Stan Lee, and Larry Lieber.

Aside from comic-related research, one of my editors, Wil Moss, recommended Neil Gaiman’s Norse Mythology, which was incredibly fun, concise, and helpful in giving me a more rounded view of Loki’s history and personality. I’m a big Sandman fan as well, so it was inspiring to stand at the nexus of Kirby’s influence on Gaiman, and mythology’s impact on both of them, and to see their impact on me, first as a reader, and then as a writer, as I set out to place these mythological figures in an approximation of our actual world.

What aspects of yourself do you see or put into the characters you write?

Loki’s defining trait, especially in the original myths, is that he is both the creator and the solver of the problem. Because no one else is clever enough to get him out of the mess he started, he’s barely ever fully exiled from their society. As a former “problem” student, whatever that means, the aspect of Loki I relate to the most—and I think a lot of people do—is the idea that you can mean well, try your best, and still get punished for it.

Authority figures love to reward cleverness if it comes with obedience. I tell a story in the introduction letter to Loki #1 about getting detention for pointing out, during an assembly, that two teachers were inexplicably wearing the same clothing. I obviously didn't break any rules but the people who make the rules found me to be inconvenient and disruptive, so I got punished.

When I hear the phrase, “too smart for your own good,” I think of kids like that who don’t even know they’re about to be labelled as “bad”, which can alter their entire future and identity—for something that, in any adult circumstance, would be seen as attentiveness, or creativity, or intelligence, or just relatively harmless humor. Loki is a kid who got treated this way for a thousand years, so, of course, he became a villain.

The story we’re telling now is about coming back from that—healing, forgiveness, and the responsibility that comes with an ever-racing, ever-curious brain, the default setting of which is casual mayhem. Loki’s superpower is one that real people actually have to live with and manage: “I just noticed a vulnerability in our world. What would happen if I acted on it?”

You’ve written for television, the internet, for magazines, and have authored books and comic books — how does the writing process vary for these different forms? Is there one you prefer?

I often compare it to playing different video games because the needs and reflexes are different. Writing satire about the news is faster-paced, and comes with its own formulas, just like character-based narrative. Writing a monologue script based on a news event is very reactive, like Mario Kart: foot on the gas, hit the important stuff, miss the stuff that will slow you down. Writing fiction can be a lot more exploratory, like Zelda: I walked around for two hours today but I found a really important acorn, that I really needed for the stuff I'll do next. Writing comics can be very nose-to-the-grindstone, but for me, breaking story is often incidental and happens at the gym, or before sleep, or in the shower. The major architecture of my narrative writing exists as fragments on my phone and in pocket notebooks, born out of little sparks of inspiration. The heavy lifting happens in fleshing them out and editing them together into something cohesive.

If you could live in the universe of any book or comic book, which one would you pick and why?

I’m not the biggest Harry Potter fan—I've read five of them, I think. But I would choose to live in the Harry Potter universe because as near as I can tell, it’s just our current universe but with far superior candy.

If you could have a conversation with anyone, real or fictional, who would it be and what would you talk about?

Probably Gumby. He seems chill.

What advice would you offer to your fourteen-year-old self?

Fourteen is honestly too young for most actionable advice from successful adults, and you’re not really in charge of what you’re going to do that day, anyhow. I usually tell college-aged writers to finish entire writing samples, that ideas and potential are far less attractive to people who can hire you than finished scripts or stories are. But I can’t imagine my career taking off based on the screenplay I would've finished at fourteen. So my advice would be to start drinking coffee and working out because both of those things are going to make you feel better in a world of things that are trying to make you feel terrible—including, in some cases, young adults roughly your age and twice your size with whom you are trapped, by the hundreds, in a massive brick building, in which they are often inexplicably literally trying to maim you. In case anyone was wondering where comic and comedy writers—and trickster gods—come from.

Thanks so much, Daniel! Follow @kibblesmith! If you’re lucky enough to be attending New York Comic Con in October, Daniel will be signing in Artist Alley at Booth A-28.

Photo: Nick (IG: @goldenparachutephotography) for Midtown Comics.

#writer spotlight #spotlight #daniel kibblesmith #tumblrnycc #booklr

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tabloidtoc · 5 years ago

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Globe, April 20

Cover: Kenny Rogers’ body is still on ice -- why his widow won’t bury him

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Sloppy Tyra Banks, Gary Busey grocery shopping in Beverly Hills, Brian Austin Green grabs meals to go

Page 3: Lisa Marie Presley is living large, puffy-faced Goldie Hawn hikes to her California home, Chris Pratt spring cleaning

Page 4: Bindi Irwin has another surprise in store after pulling off her secret Australia Zoo wedding to Chandler Powell -- she’s pregnant

Page 5: A bank has asked the LA Sheriff’s Office to force Tori Spelling to pay a $89,000 credit card debt and her money-bags mom Candy Spelling has once again refused to help, Patrick Stewart secretly married his third wife singer-songwriter Sunny Ozell in a Mexican restaurant in California with Ian McKellen officiating

Page 6: Catherine Zeta-Jones admits she’s a bitch and being polite to fans pushes her over the edge

Page 7: Spoiler Alert for Grey’s Anatomy -- Ellen Pompeo who has starred as Dr. Meredith Grey for 15 seasons will be killed off next season in a blockbuster story line

Page 8: Now that he’s moving to California rogue royal Prince Harry plans to turn his years as a stoner into a king’s ransom by launching a huge marijuana business empire -- Harry and wife Meghan Markle are slapping down $9 million for a 286- acre pot farm near Clear Lake in north central California to fuel their flashy new Hollywood lifestyle

Page 10: Jon Voight tells his daughter Angelina Jolie to back off of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston

Page 11: Law & Order vet Elisabeth Rohm has called off her year-long engagement to California judge Jonathan Colby on good terms but the two have different priorities at this time, the handwritten lyrics to Hey Jude by Paul McCartney are set to sell for nearly $200,000 at a massive online Beatles auction

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Conan O’Brien rides a bike through Brentwood, Ellen DeGeneres has been recently blasted as one of the meanest people alive, Amy Poehler is co-founder of the Upright Citizens Brigade in Hollywood and NYC and the comedy clubs and improv schools laid off most staff without notice or severance or health coverage and only after embarrassing press and online comments trashed the millionaire she finally will provide funds for a one-month extension to healthcare for the full-time benefit eligible staff, Little Big Town singer Kimberly Schlapman says she’s 100% sure her 12-year-old daughter Daisy was a heaven-sent miracle thanks to her deceased first husband Steven Roads, Woody Allen outcreeps himself by spilling in his memoir the details of bedding both sisters of his former muse and live-in girlfriend Diane Keaton, Ramona Singer of RHONYC did away with the housecleaners due to coronavirus and posted a picture of herself mopping in a sexy nightie

Page 13: Frumpy Kate Hudson, Sean Penn’s silver roots start to show, Maud Adams walks her dog, Kristen Stewart relies on the company of ghosts

Page 14: Seth Rogen has a new pastime: watching flick flops like Cats while flying high, Demi Lovato’s got something to sing about -- a brand new ripped boyfriend named Max Ehrich who loves showing off his astonishing pecs, Fashion Verdict -- Emily Blunt 5/10, Noomi Rapace 3/10, Christina Aguilera 2/10, Cardi B 4/10

Page 16: Rihanna vows to have up to four children in ten years with or without a man, Superman never carried an ounce of flab but his alter ego Dean Cain has piled on an unhealthy 50 pounds and is gobbling supersize portions of pizza and fast food to find comfort because of his nose-diving career

Page 17: Inked-up train wreck Aaron Carter declared himself single in a nude photo after his girlfriend Melanie Martin whose name was just tattooed on his face was collared for felony domestic violence

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Scarlett Johansson, Luann de Lesseps confesses she’s still tippling even after her shameful drunken bust, stuck in lockdown Courteney Cox is binge-watching her sitcom Friends and was shocked to realize she can’t remember most of the series that made her rich and famous

Page 20: True Crime

Page 23: Former boxing champ Mike Tyson is dropping shocking confessions including having sex with fans, drug binges, psychedelic trips and being pen pals with England’s most vicious gangster

Page 24: Cover Story -- a furious family feud is exploding over late country great Kenny Rogers whose body is being kept on ice because his widow Wanda Rogers wants to hold a massive send-off that’s now banned by the coronavirus lockdown

Page 26: Health Report

Page 29: Eminem gushes that being able to raise kids is one of his greatest accomplishments, former steroids user and New York Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca is raging over how fellow cheater Alex Rodriguez has revived his image as an A-list celeb and is slamming the retired New York Yankees slugger as one of the fakest people out there, Alicia Keys felt manipulated and objectified by a sleazy photographer who made her open her shirt and yank down the top of her jeans when she was only 19

Page 30: Former teen sex slave Virginia Roberts Giuffre who claims she was pimped out to Britain’s Prince Andrew by pedophile Jeffrey Epstein is now charging the kinky billionaire and his mistress Ghislaine Maxwell pressured her to carry his child through surrogacy

Page 31: Steve Carell shockingly quit his hit show The Office at the peak of its popularity because he wasn’t feeling the love from showrunners

Page 32: Single mom-of-three Kourtney Kardashian is so lonely and desperate for love she’s stopped being set up by Hollywood pals and is casting her fishing net for a man online, a London collector of James Bond guns was robbed of five pistols used in 007 flicks worth a staggering $125,000, a sweaty towel that late NBA star Kobe Bryant tossed over his shoulders as he bid goodbye to basketball has shockingly sold for more than $33,000

Page 38: Real Life

Page 40: Daniel Craig is worth about $180 million thanks to playing James Bond but he’s got bad news for his kids -- he’s cutting them off without a cent because he finds inheritance distasteful -- he has a 28-year-old daughter from his first marriage to Fiona Loudon and a two-year-old daughter with current wife Rachel Weisz, busted in the college admissions cheating scandal Lori Loughlin and husband Mossimo Giannulli are accusing the prosecution of strong-arming its key witness to lie that they knew their payments were bribes and not donations to the university

Page 44: Straight Talk -- newly leaked video is yet more proof that desperate loser Kanye West is a filthy parasite who’s been trying to save his fizzling career by leeching onto superstar songbird Taylor Swift

Page 45: George Clooney is in hot water now that Nespresso the coffee giant he shills for on TV has admitted buying beans from farms that pay kids pennies for laboring in the fields, dumpy Drew Barrymore is hitting rock bottom again with her weight and is tired of blubbering in her closet over clothes that don’t fit and has vowed to give the extra weight the heave-ho before her new daytime talk show gets going

Page 47: Hollywood Flashback -- Psycho, Bizarre But True

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tomxpayne · 5 years ago

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some day, one day | self para.

WHO: Tom Payne. MENTIONS: Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Tiny mention(s) of; Andrew Lincoln, Norman Reedus, Katie Cassidy & Demi Lovato. WHEN: February 1st, 2020. WHERE: At one of the local bars. WARNING: Just some “light” cursing.

In a quiet night like it was tonight, the bar was definitely not the option you would find Tom to be at. He would have come home late from work, have a nice, relaxing bath and after that, he would relax in bed with Demi and their pets, maybe watch a movie or talk until after midnight, get carried away with words, memories, future plans. Tonight was not that kind of a night though. The man left work earlier than usual, leaving Lili to take care of a couple of things and close the store and he went straight to the nearest bar. It was definitely one of the nights he rarely had but definitely needed. When he walked inside it was not very busy, there were a few people there and it was decent quiet, which he liked. The man made his ordered and when it arrived, before taking a sip he played a little with the glass on his hands, after the first sip his mind went into the future, started making different kind of thoughts. And that was the moment a familiar voice interrupted it. ➖ “Holy shit now that is someone I was not expecting to see here.” Tom’s eyes looked up with a smirk on his lips, happy to hear the familiar voice and seen Jeffrey joining him at the bar. “I know, right? I ain’t that lame after all” the man joked with a soft chuckle before taking another sip from his drink, noticing that without even nodding the bartender had brought one for Jeffrey as well. “I see you come here often” he commented with a raised brow. “Nah,” Jeffrey said taking off his leather jacket. “I just made clear once that the moment I walk in, everyone does their job correctly” he simply explained to him and Tom nodded, not needing more information from the other man. ➖”So, what the fuck are you doing here?” Jeffrey asked. Tom frowned a bit. Why wasn’t he home? Thinking that kind of stuff with the peace and quiet of his nice bed? He sighed before started speaking. “I have a dilemma,” he told him and Jeffrey chuckled. “Welcome to the fucking club, man” he commented with the familiar, devilish smirk on his lips. “I--” he paused not sure why he was so worried to talk openly about that. He knew Jeffrey for years and the two of them had shared a lot of things in their lives. He tilted his head on the side before taking a breath and just let it all out; “I want to propose to Demi” ➖ “Holy fuck” Jeffrey immediately replied without second thoughts. “Excuse my fucking French but Tommie boy, you are not even in a fucking relationship, what the fuck are you thinking?” he asked confused trying to understand what was going on inside his head that night. Tom sighed, he was expecting that reaction, that was the same reaction his little voice was keep saying inside his head. “Don’t you think I already know that?” Tom asked before finishing his drink and ordering another one. “I know that” he added. “I’ve known Demi for years, she was the first person I ever trusted after what happened between me and Jennifer” as rare as it was to talk about his past, it felt so good doing that now, maybe it was the alcohol on his system or maybe it was the need of talking to a good friend. For his own surprise though, Jeffrey was carefully listening, not interrupting, not making small, silly comments about the whole situation. So, that encouraged him more to continue. “I tried so many things since my engagement was canceled” he shrugged. “I was so lost in the beginning so I thought to change. I moved miles away from home, I changed my lifestyle and yes, I was sleeping with everything that was moving” he chuckled and so did Jeffrey. “It was not just a phase though. I liked being free but at the same time I was with someone while I was not, you know?” Jeffrey nodded positively. “It started as friends with benefits with Demi and I only wanted that because I truly believed and still believe she deserves something better than a vegan hippy who sleeps around with every female and male in town” he continued. “But I truly love her” he said while looking at Jeffrey now. “I do” he added. “She is the only one who can bright my day when everything goes shitty” he explained. ➖ “But you are too scared” Jeffrey added and Tom nodded positively. “I am” he said. “I don’t know how she feels, I can’t just walk back home and be like, hey i want you to be my wife, shit like that don’t work like that” he sighed. “And this is why we start from the relationship” Jeffrey teased a little, trying to light up the mood a little bit. “Yeah” Tom agreed with a nod. “But it feels more than a relationship to me, you know?” he asked and Jeffrey nodded knowing the feeling all too well. “Love. It fucking sucks man” Jeffrey commented and Tom chuckled. “Tell me about it” he shook his head. ➖ “Your situation will be fine though. Now how the fuck do you fully commit to someone when you are too fucking scared for the commitment itself?” Jeffrey asked out of the blue and Tom looked at him like he was seen a ghost. “Are you thinking of proposing to Katie?” he asked. “No.” Jeffrey boldly replied. “Well,” he shrugged. “...No” he said again before finishing his drink. ➖“Yeah you are” Tom commented not able to hide the smile on his lips. “Tom, no.” he said. “Ah, duh! Yes you are” Tom continued trying to make him say it out loud. “Okay fine, you fucking win, you fucking weirdo vegan Jesus” he joked with a chuckle and Tom laughed. “You cursed the shit out of me so it’s true!” he commented. ➖ “What is holding you back”? Tom asked curiously. Maybe if he listened to Jeffrey’s story it would help him make a decision as well. Or well, not being that confused. Jeffrey sighed. “How do you marry someone without the whole marrying thing being involved?” he asked him and before he got the chance to reply, Jeffrey continued; “I was the complete opposite than you and Demi. I didn’t want someone just for my pleasure, I had that anytime I wanted to. We were friends with Katie before but the fucking spark man. That fucking awful shitty thing that is called spark. She got my attention since day one. She never was like the other women I’ve met. Never scared to take risks, fucking fearless, a badass, a woman who can stand by herself and gives no shit for other’s opinion” ➖ “You really needed a woman like that in your life” he commented with a shrug knowing that Jeffrey agreed with that. “If I ever left Katie on the alter she would have haunted the shit out of me until she found me and cut my balls off” both men laughed with that comment but also both of them knew it was the truth. “People have a lot to say and they can think whatever the fuck they want but I’m not scared of the commitment, I have that. We have a family, she has my kids plus two adoptive daughters, she accepts and loves me for whatever the fucking reason she does it but...You know me damn well, Tom. My reactions...” He paused taking a sip from his new drink and Tom made a gesture with his hand, asking him to stop there. “You haven’t had that for so long though and yes I know what you are going to say that it’s possible to happen but like you said, you already have the commitment and you’ve been great, sometimes you could be an ass but you are making progress. Where the fuck is the Jeffrey who would have been like, nope fuck that and jump already on the next chick ruining everything?” Tom asked and Jeffrey laughed “Thank you for reminding me how much of an ass I was in the past...things I had” he joked while shaking his head. “But I know what you mean” Jeffrey nodded. “We both are very confused and that is totally acceptable” Tom commented. “I am afraid of the rejection and Demi’s feelings towards me and also if I’m moving too fast and you are afraid...well, of yourself but both of us need to work on those things” he continued. “All I know is that you are happy and I haven’t seen you like that for a long, long time. Like, truly happy. You are not the same man I met and that is so beautiful, Jeffrey” the other man smiled. “Yeah” he agreed. “I haven’t felt like that since....Oh damn,” he chuckled. “I want to say since I met Hilarie but I left her at the alter so...” ➖ “Stop” Tom chuckled gently slapping his arm. “Stop point yourself as the big bad wolf, the awful guy that hurts people, you are not that person and yeah, you did that but it was for the best” Jeffrey looked at him a bit confused. “I know it sounds awful but it would never work out with you and Hilarie. Maybe it would have turned worse, you don’t know” ➖ “ She was pregnant, Tom” Jeffrey sighed. “And you didn’t know. Stop being harsh to yourself, stop telling Katie that I was bad once so that’s my destiny. It’s fucking not” He didn’t know what got into him but those were things that Jeffrey should have to think about it over and over again and put it inside his head and Tom was there to help him and he hoped that Jeffrey’s attitude would change and stop pointing himself as the bad guy. “All I want to say is that it was ages ago, you changed, you grew up and you should focus on the future. For Katie, your kids and for your own sake as well” he ended his sentence there and shrugged taking the last sip from his drink. “Is it my fucking turn to give you a wake-up call” Jeffrey joked but appreciating the honesty that Tom showed to him. Not many had the balls to do it. “Yeah I guess” Tom joked. ➖ “Okay good,” Jeffrey said. “You are afraid of yourself too” Jeffrey threw that sentence to him and Tom looked at him confused but before he got the chance to speak, Jeffrey continued. “You are scared that your future, maybe, engagement will fail” ➖ “That’s--” Tom trailed off but the other man continued. “Those are the thoughts of holding you back not your fear of Demi not feeling the same fucking thing, for fuck sake’s she melts every time you enter the room,” he told her and noticed Tom had a serious yet confused look on his face. “You know it’s true” Jeffrey added. ➖ “I’m more afraid of ruining everything than myself” he confessed. “I’m scared of losing, Demi. In general” he said feeling good that he finally said it out loud. “But you fucking won’t” Jeffrey replied. “Even if it’s not a say yes to the fucking dress, she would want to be with you” he continued. “Tom, man, she has the fucking spark I have when I look at Katie” he couldn’t believe he was using terms like that, but it was the only way to throw some sense into his head. ➖ “And you’re telling me that you haven’t changed” Tom commented shaking his head, there was a smile on his lips that couldn’t be hidden. “How did we end up like this?” Tom asked with a chuckle. “I thought we had bigger balls” he commented and Jeffrey laughed. “When it comes to love, the balls fucking disappear, you become so fragile and so many feels are hitting you, you want to do the right thing but in your fucking head you think you are doing the opposite and mess things up.” “Tell me about it” Tom nodded. “So...What the fuck we are gonna do now?” Jeffrey asked and the two men looked at each other. “Pay the bill, go to the nearest hotel so we won’t bother our housemates and wake up the next day with an awful headache, drink some black coffee, go back to our homes and...man up?” He asked while looking at him. “Sounds good” Jeffrey agreed. “I would try to text Katie but can’t see shit” he said. “Wait ➖ “ Tom said pulling out his phone and texting her himself letting her know they are together and not in a situation to go home. “Done,” Tom said after pressing send. ➖ “How the fuck you see what you’re typing?” the man chuckled. “Ain’t that drunk...yet” Tom laughed. “So...” Jeffrey sighed before continuing. “That was some real talk” he added. “Yeah, it hit the feels not gonna lie” he confessed. ➖ “Fucking same” Jeffrey agreed with a nod. “Wish Norman and Andrew were here, they would be so proud” Tom giggled. “Or make fun of us” ➖ “Nah” Tom replied. “They would be proud” Tom said again. “How the fuck do you know that?” Jeffrey asked. ➖ “ Because they would know tomorrow big decisions will be made. And that we won’t see shit with the same view and eyes”.

#Some Day One Day

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rivalsofnycupdates · 5 years ago

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"Being alone never felt right. Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.”

■ ABOUT. ■

name: Xiomara Reyes age: twenty-five occupation: royals hacker gender: cis-female pronouns: she/her sexuality: utp

■ HISTORY. ■

To the outside world, Xiomara had a picturesque childhood; she had both a mother and father who took care of her in any way that they could, without any much financial restraint. The downside of it all was that they were always constantly moving because of her father's job. They were never in the same place for too long so Xio. Her parents often encouraged Xio to spend money on herself, Xio assumed her parents felt bad for moving her around so much. Xiomara was just like her mother in the sense that they weren’t materialistic people, that’s why Xio never took her parents up on the offer. After years of constant moving, Xio quickly learned how to adapt to her surroundings and read people at a simple glance. She would assess the scenarios that were put in front of her quickly and played whatever role she needed to survive. On the first day of a new school, she would decide whether or not she wanted to be the socialite or the invisible girl. Most of the time, she wanted to be the socialite, mainly because she loved bringing reenacting her favorite movie storyline. Where the new girl comes in and takes over whatever system they had before. Xiomara became the ultimate actress and thought of it as real theatre, though really, in the seventh grade, she'd encountered a real mean girl and she really wanted to bring her down, to say the least. Despite always playing a particular role in certain scenarios, Xio never lost sight of who she was in the process, her continuous reminder was her love for technology. No matter what school or what city she was in, beneath whatever mask she was wearing, Xio was always working on her computer skills.

Her skills turned from photoshop to computer code when she was in grade 5. Her family had moved to Idaho and on the first day, she was given a tour of the computer lab, though she didn’t recognize the program on the screen. It’s at that moment she chose to take a back seat from being a socialite and learn this new program she’d never seen. Xiomara was in love with computer coding and the freedom you had. As she moved, she continued advancing her skills. Two years later, she’d encountered yet another mean girl, though one of the worst she’d seen. Xio chose to finally do something about it. She created an anonymous website and posted dozens of embarrassing photos, though that didn’t seem like enough. Xio got together with another student, who showed her how to hack into databases, phones, cloud storage, anything. Once she’d learned what she needed, the start of grade 8 was going to be her year. It’s safe to say, Xiomara became a real bully. She didn’t take the high road, she took the road of revenge. Xio played incredibly mean pranks on this girl, one of them being. She created a time bomb virus and posted really embarrassing photos on every electronic device in the school building. The girl was mortified and changed schools. The rest of the school year was much more peaceful than the previous year. Everyone in her middle-school graduating class became friends, which wasn’t something teachers would have expected.

At the start of high school, Xiomara opted to become invisible in order to push her computer skills further while she slowly and sadistically took down the school's social systems from the shadows. Despite the constant moving and changing the roles she plays for the world, Xio kept one thing steady. Her skills on a computer. When she graduated high school, she was able to hack into many different servers and systems. She would often hijack the morning announcements and either and either alter the principal's voice or make up her own announcements on the spot. Anything to stir some drama or cause embarrassment.

■ WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON? ■

After graduating high school, she moved to New York City, where she felt she could finally stop pretending in order to survive and start living her own life without judgment. She continued hacking for sport, though living in an expensive city caused her to do jobs for some sketchy people. She accidentally got herself into some serious trouble with a client. She’d completed what was asked of her, though when she wasn’t paid the proper price. Xio decided to take matters into her own hands and hacked into their bank account and stole the money that was rightfully hers. One day, she quickly realized that the client she stole from, hired someone to hurt her. She was thrown against the wall with their hand around her throat before suddenly feeling the ability to breathe again. It was on that day she met, Brandon Castillo. After meeting Brandon, she didn't know much about his history with the gang at first. Though the more questions and favors he asked for from her that pertained to coding or hacking, the more Xio's curiosity began to rise and eventually, she demanded to know and meet whoever she was truly doing the work for. Once she met the group, her mind was a bit blown. She'd never really met people like the people often in that clubhouse and she eventually became good friends with most of the members her age and naturally became a prospect to join.

■ KEEP THIS AWAY FROM YOUR ENEMIES ■

Despite Xio's initial understanding of the club, she was beginning to have doubts during her last few weeks as a prospect. She started to rethink her decision because she was fine with hacking into whatever software they needed, even hacking into through police firewall to access whatever files or information they needed, though recently, she’d done exactly that and provided information on someone and within three days his name was in the paper attached to the word Murder. It didn’t take much for her to piece together that she was a large reason why this person was dead and that was eating her up inside.

■ RELATIONSHIPS. ■

■ Robert Beaufort: Robert hired her to steal money from an account his wife Olivia Beaufort was hiding for her first bastard son Patrick Fischer.

■ Jennifer Krongold: Has recently started to become friends.

■ CONNECTIONS. ■

■ Brandon Castillo > Close Friend

■ tba > Previous Hookup

■ Amelia Krongold > Common Friend

Xiomara Reyes is a TAKEN character and is portrayed by Sofia Carson whose FC IS NEGOTIABLE.

#rpg #bio rpg #city rpg #lsrpg #rp #female #xiomarareyes #royals #negotiable fc #all #taken #takenf #sofia carson fc

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bountyofbeads · 5 years ago

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Why Does Only One Party Play by the Rules? https://nyti.ms/2MNdCOX

Why Does Only One Party Play by the Rules?

Thanks to Trump’s deepening dependence on “alternative facts,” the assertion of reality is now a viable campaign strategy for 2020 Democrats.

By Jennifer Senior, Opinion columnist | Published October 25, 2019 | New York Times | Posted October 25, 2019 |

It’s that time of the campaign season when some Democrats are starting to feel — as President Jimmy Carter might have put it — malaise. They’re staring at their 2020 lineup and wondering whether it’s a guaranteed recipe for buyer’s remorse. Joe Biden is too old, Pete Buttigieg is too young, Kamala Harris is too uncertain, Bernie Sanders too unpalatable, Elizabeth Warren too unelectable.

All of which may be right. But I have an additional theory for why some Democrats are the vexed and depleted souls they seem to be these days, waking up with lead in their veins and worms in their stomachs. It boils down to this: They can’t escape the sense that they’re living by different rules.

Let me rephrase that: Democrats are acting as though there still are rules, when in fact they’re living in a political multiverse — with at least one parallel reality containing no rules at all.

What do you do when one party stakes its faith — and ultimately government itself — on observable, measurable realities while the other has made the cynical decision to cast these principles away? How do you strategize? How do you cope?

It’s not just that President Trump serially lies in plain sight. (What’s The Washington Post’s latest tally? 13,435? Whatever: Just imagine a whirring odometer on a shuttle to Mars.) It’s that he’s surrounded by occluders and toadies, nihilist tricksters spun directly from the looms of the Marx Brothers’ imagination. (“Who you gonna believe? Me or your own eyes?”)

A raft of House and Senate Republicans — including (say it with me) Senator Lindsey Graham — learned that Ukraine’s top diplomat had confirmed the Trump administration’s aid-for-dirt caper, yet still insists the impeachment proceedings are a sham. The acting White House chief of staff, Mick Mulvaney, acknowledged this same quid pro quo in a news conference, only to proclaim later that none of us understands English. Any public servant who dares say that two plus two just might equal four is immediately accused by Trump of radicalism, treason, witch hunting.

Compare that with President Barack Obama’s relationship with those who inconvenienced him. When James Comey, then the head of the F.B.I., made the fateful decision to announce that he’d reopened his inquiry into Hillary Clinton’s emails just days before the 2016 election, Obama could not have been especially pleased. By imperiling Clinton’s chances, Comey was imperiling Obama’s own legacy too. Yet Obama still behaved warmly toward him, according to James Stewart in his new book, “Deep State.” Why? Because “Democrats,” as Jonathan Chait explained in his review of that book, “still believed in institutions and norms.”(See review below)

This idea — that Democrats still believe in norms, customs, the rather crucial notion of checks and balances, in government itself — may be the crux of the multiverse problem. Look at someone like Joe Biden, whose essential pitch (in addition to experience, incremental change, working-class-guyness) is that he can work with the men and women on the other side of the aisle.

But this suggests that compromise is an option. It doesn’t appear that the other side is much interested. You have Mitch McConnell, the Senate majority leader, holding a Supreme Court appointment hostage for nearly a year, blocking almost all legislative debate and passing a bill to protect the 2020 elections from foreign interference only under extreme duress; the world’s “greatest deliberative body” is now a speedway for the Trump agenda. You have the House Republicans informally observing the “Hastert Rule”— named for the former speaker Dennis Hastert, who was carted off to prison for paying hush money to a former student he’d sexually abused — which says bills can come to the floor only if a majority of the Republicans support them. It virtually ensures minoritarian rule.

And you have partisan news outlets with zero interest in reporting the basic facts of Trump’s corruption or the catastrophic consequences of his impulses. We’ve gone from Pax Americana to Fox Americana in the blink of an eye.

Whereas the more traditional media, whatever their unconscious biases, do try to hold Democrats to account. Sure, let’s stipulate that there are more liberals than conservatives at these organizations. Maybe even a lot more. But it was mainstream newspapers that broke the Whitewater story, which led to an independent investigation of Bill Clinton. It was mainstream newspapers that kept Hillary Clinton’s emails on the front page in the run-up to the 2016 election. This newspaper covered Hunter Biden’s business dealings in Ukraine too — in May. These pages also ran an editorial about it. That was in 2015.

Of course Democratic politicians — all politicians — distort, gerrymander evidence, even lie and apply their greasy thumbs to the scales. (What was Bill Clinton doing on that plane with Loretta Lynch in 2016?) The question is whether their sins are occasional or habitual, whether their worldviews are Capra or Chandler. The Trumpkins are firmly in noir territory.

Now you have Trump strafing Facebook with campaign ads popping with falsehoods. Elizabeth Warren, meanwhile, ran a Facebook ad with falsehoods that acknowledged they were false midway through.

Which says it all, really.

So, to repeat: What to do about this? Do you capitulate, sell your soul and resort to the same lawless tactics as your opponents? Or do you take the high road and run the risk of losing?

The only guide we have is 2018. But it’s not a bad one. What it showed was that sometimes it pays to go high. The Democrats just have to aggressively sell an honorable message.

Specifically, what the Democrats should say is: Anyone who’s not in the business of peddling the truth shouldn’t be in the business of government. Or publishing, for that matter. Trump once said that he could probably get away with murder. (And his lawyers recently, surreally, made this same case in a federal appeals court.) That’s what Mark Zuckerberg is doing on Facebook, figuratively speaking, by allowing political ads with demonstrably false content to run on his platform, no matter what other features the company rolls out.

Right now, the Democrats are badly losing the Facebook war. But it’s not too late for them to wage this fight, and in the right way. They could still campaign on the idea of a government that believes in itself — and self-evident truths, like something as basic as the size of an inaugural crowd.

It would be a declaration of values. In the Trump era, that’s not a bad place to start.

*********

Two Candidates, Two Investigations, One Deeply Flawed Agency

By Jonathan Chait | Published October 25, 2019 | New York Times | Posted October 25, 2019 |

DEEP STATE

Trump, the FBI, and the Rule of Law

By James B. Stewart

During the 2016 presidential election, one of the two major candidates labored under the shadow of a criminal investigation by the F.B.I. That candidate was Hillary Clinton. As we now know, though voters had little reason to apprehend it at the time, there were actually two investigations underway — and, while the probe into Clinton’s mishandling of emails played out in public, the more serious probe of Donald Trump’s secret political and financial connections with Russia remained largely unknown until well after the voting had concluded.

In “Deep State,” James B. Stewart, a columnist for The New York Times and the author of “Blood Sport” and “Den of Thieves,” among many other books, tells the story of both investigations. His account produces few new facts, nor a bold new thesis, that would dramatically alter our understanding of either. Instead, his contribution is to combine the two accounts into a single chronological narrative. He shows how the twin investigations turn out to be closely linked, and not just because an election pitted their subjects against each other.

The F.B.I. agents investigating Clinton’s use of a personal email account realized early on that they would never have a prosecutable case. While Clinton had violated laws pertaining to the handling of classified material, she had apparently done so out of a combination of technical ineptitude and convenience, and the government had never charged an offender without establishing nefarious motives. As a result, the bureau concluded it didn’t “have much on the intent side.”

You might think this decision made life easier for the F.B.I., which would be spared the ordeal of having to insert itself into a presidential campaign. Instead, it made life harder. The reason for this: The bureau contained what some Department of Justice officials considered “hotbeds of anti-Clinton hostility,” especially in the Little Rock and New York offices. Stewart describes how F.B.I. officials encouraged colleagues investigating the Democratic nominee with messages like “You have to get her” and “You guys are finally going to get that bitch.” James Comey, the F.B.I. director during the Clinton email probe, went so far as to tell Attorney General Loretta Lynch, “It’s clear to me that there is a cadre of senior people in New York who have a deep and visceral hatred of Secretary Clinton.” Those agents leaked regularly to right-wing media sources that the bureau was turning a blind eye to what they saw as Clinton’s criminality.

This pressure drove Comey to make two fateful decisions. First, when he announced that the bureau was not bringing charges against Clinton, he denounced her “extremely careless” behavior, as a kind of middle course between what the law dictated and what Republicans demanded. Second, when an unrelated investigation into sex crimes by the former Democratic congressman Anthony Weiner turned up more Clinton email 11 days before the election, Comey felt trapped into announcing that he had reopened the investigation.

Stewart shows how Comey violated the F.B.I.’s norm of doing everything possible to avoid involving itself in election campaigns, especially at the end. He believed that failing to intervene would lead conservative agents to leak the story — and would result in his own impeachment by the Republican Congress after the election. As a result, Comey told his staff he needed to publicly reopen the investigation lest he create “corrosive doubt that you had engineered a cover-up to protect a particular political candidate.”

This was a catastrophic violation of protocol — and probably a decisive one; as Stewart notes, the new email story led the news in six of the seven days in the final week before the election. But what drove Comey to this error was the refusal of Republicans in the bureau and Congress to accept and follow the rules. Stewart’s narrative shows Democrats still believed in institutions and norms — even after Comey’s extraordinary intervention against Clinton, he was still treated warmly by President Obama and cordially by Loretta Lynch. Comey felt bound to appease the Clinton-haters because they refused to accept any process that failed to yield their preferred outcome.

Notably, the Republican William Barr enthusiastically endorsed Comey’s decision to reopen the case against Clinton, but then — once Comey became a threat to Trump — cited that very decision as grounds to fire him. Barr’s subsequent elevation to attorney general is an ominous development that hangs over the second half of Stewart’s book.

Unfortunately, his account of the Russia investigation is less satisfying. When Comey briefs Trump on the so-called Steele dossier and its litany of supposed ties between Trump and Russia — including the unproven allegation that Trump had watched prostitutes in a Moscow hotel room urinating on a bed where the Obamas once slept — we see the new president give suspiciously unconvincing denials. “Almost to himself, Trump repeated the year ‘2013’ and seemed to be searching his memory,” Stewart recounts. Trump tells Comey he would not need to pay for sex, and links the charges to other women who have accused him of groping them — charges that have high levels of credibility. He insists his well-known fear of germs would preclude him from enjoying such a performance, even though he could easily have done so at a safe distance.

We also see Trump or his agents dangling pardons before Paul Manafort and Roger Stone, the two advisers who had the closest political contacts with Russia and WikiLeaks, leading to both men refusing to cooperate with the investigation. We come to see Rod Rosenstein, the deputy attorney general and supervisor of the Mueller report, as human Jell-O, losing his composure at times to the point of seeming unhinged. Stewart points out that Rosenstein agreed to meet with Trump privately. “Each time, against seemingly long odds, Rosenstein emerged with his job intact,” he notes. “What did he offer Trump in return? What threats, explicit or implied, did Trump bring to bear?”

Stewart also recounts the harsh treatment dispensed to government officials who, as a result of their involvement in the Russia investigation, became Trump’s targets. The Department of Justice publicized an affair between two agents working on the probe. It demoted the Justice Department lawyer Bruce Ohr after he spoke out, and ended the career of the longtime F.B.I. agent Andrew McCabe. All of these things, Stewart writes, “raise disturbing questions about their willingness to stand up to a president and preserve the long tradition of independent law enforcement and the rule of law.”

However, for all the suspicious patterns he reveals, for all the dots he connects, Stewart does not manage to produce a smoking gun that proves misconduct. We never learn the depth of Trump’s involvement with Russia, or whether he or Attorney General Barr applied undue pressure on the department. If these questions have incriminating answers, the people who hold them probably have no incentive to reveal them and possibly never will. What “Deep State” does tell us is that there are ample grounds for suspicion that Trump’s well-documented efforts to obstruct justice succeeded. To what end? That remains a mystery.

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In Tribute to Cummings, Obama Hints at Rebuke of Trump

The former president said that Representative Elijah E. Cummings showed that “you’re not a sucker to have integrity.”

Peter Baker

Oct. 25, 2019Updated 3:52 p.m. ET

WASHINGTON — Former President Barack Obama, who has remained largely silent amid the convulsive impeachment debate now gripping the nation, offered a tribute to a late Democratic congressman on Friday that sounded to some listeners like an implicit rebuke of President Trump.

Speaking at a service for Representative Elijah E. Cummings, who died last week, Mr. Obama never mentioned the president by name but seemed to draw a contrast between his successor and the congressman whom Mr. Trump denigrated last summer.

Mr. Obama said that Mr. Cummings showed that being strong meant being kind and that being honorable was no flaw.

“There’s nothing weak about kindness and compassion,” Mr. Obama told a packed hall at New Psalmist Baptist Church in Baltimore, which Mr. Cummings, a Democrat, represented in the House for the past 25 years. “There’s nothing weak about looking out for others. There’s nothing weak about being honorable. You’re not a sucker to have integrity and to treat others with respect.”

Warming to his topic, Mr. Obama pointed to a sign behind him referring to “the Honorable” Mr. Cummings.

“This is a title that we confer on all kinds of people who get elected to public office,” he said as the largely African-American and Democratic audience responded with knowing applause and laughter. “We’re supposed to introduce them as honorable. But Elijah Cummings was honorable before he was elected to office. There’s a difference. There’s a difference if you were honorable and treated others honorably outside the limelight.”

As chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Reform, Mr. Cummings, 68, had become a major thorn in Mr. Trump’s side and was one of the leaders of the drive to impeach the president for abuse of power. Last summer, Mr. Trump lashed out at Mr. Cummings, calling him “racist” and “a brutal bully” who had done “a very poor job” representing a district that he described as a “disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess.”

Mr. Obama was part of an all-star lineup of speakers and guests at the Friday’s service, including former President Bill Clinton, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Speaker Nancy Pelosi, former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. and Senator Elizabeth Warren.

But much of the attention was focused on the 44th president, who has largely avoided weighing in lately on his successor even as Mr. Trump lately has repeatedly accused Mr. Obama of illegally spying on him while in office and blamed the former president for various policy setbacks.

Mr. Obama made no reference to any of that, but did call on his audience to step up as Mr. Cummings did. “People will look back at this moment,” he said, “and ask the question: What did you do?”

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Elijah Cummings’s Funeral Draws Presidents and Thousands of Mourners

Presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton spoke Friday at the service for the longtime Maryland congressman.

By Nicholas Bogel-Burroughs | Published October 25, 2019 Updated 3:39 PM ET | New York Times | Posted October 25, 2019 |

BALTIMORE — Representative Elijah E. Cummings was firmly rooted in Baltimore, but for decades his voice extended far from his brick rowhouse on the city’s west side. On Friday, the legacy of his tireless advocacy brought powerful leaders from Washington and elsewhere to his city.

Mr. Cummings, a Democrat who rose in prominence in recent years for his unwavering pursuit of President Trump, died at 68 last week in the city he called home, the same one in which he was born and lived all his life.

Two former presidents, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton, were among the prominent cast of politicians, mentees and relatives who spoke at his funeral on Friday morning. Others included Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren, the Massachusetts senator and presidential candidate.

Mr. Obama roused the congregation, extolling Mr. Cummings’s values and saying that the congressman had earned the title, “the honorable.”

“This is a title we confer on all kinds of people who get elected to public office,” Mr. Obama said. “We’re supposed to introduce them as honorable. But Elijah Cummings was honorable before he was elected to office.”

“There’s a difference,” Mr. Obama continued, his voice rising as many in the crowd stood up and clapped. “There’s a difference if you were honorable and treated others honorably — outside the limelight, on the side of a road, in a quiet moment counseling somebody you work with.”

Mr. Cummings’s success validates the concept of the American dream, Mr. Obama said, and his compassion and empathy were a lesson that kindness can be a sign of strength.

“There’s nothing weak about looking out for others,” Mr. Obama said. “There’s nothing weak about being honorable. You’re not a sucker to have integrity and to treat others with respect.”

Earlier in the service, following a psalm read by Ms. Warren and a song from one of Mr. Cummings’s favorite singers, BeBe Winans, Ms. Clinton took the stage and thanked members of Mr. Cummings’s district “for sharing him with our country and the world.”

Ms. Clinton said Mr. Cummings never backed down in the face of abuses of power or from “those who put party ahead of country or partisanship above truth.”

“But he could find common ground with anyone willing to seek it with him,” she continued. “And he liked to remind all of us that you can’t get so caught up in who you are fighting that you forget what you are fighting for.”

Ms. Pelosi asked attendees how many had been mentored by Mr. Cummings, and at least a dozen raised their hands. She recalled that he had sought to mentor as many freshman representatives as he could after Democrats took control of the House in the 2018 election.

“By example, he gave people hope,” she said.

Ms. Pelosi had spoken at another funeral in Baltimore on Wednesday for her own brother, Thomas D’Alesandro III, a former mayor of the city.

Earlier in the morning, thousands of grieving Baltimoreans stood in looping lines as the sun rose outside of New Psalmist Baptist Church, which seats 4,000 people and filled up shortly before 10, with many still outside. It’s the same church where Mr. Cummings sat in the front row most Sundays even after he began using a walker and wheelchair.

Mr. Cummings’s body lay in an open coffin at the front of the church on Friday, his left hand resting on his right as mourners passed by and a choir sang gospel music. An usher stood nearby with a box of tissues in each hand.

Elonna Jones, 21, skipped her classes at the University of Maryland to attend with her mother, Waneta Ross, who nearly teared up as she contemplated Baltimore’s loss.

“He believed in the beauty of everything, especially our city,” Ms. Ross said. “It’s important we’re here to honor a civil rights activist who was still around in my generation.”

Ms. Jones, a volunteer coordinator for a City Council candidate, said Mr. Cummings had motivated her to pursue a role in improving her city.

“As a young, black woman in Baltimore who wants to be in politics, he inspired me,” she said.

Mourning residents stood in black coats, hats and heels and sang Mr. Cummings’s praises as the police corralled the extended lines of people who woke up early to pay their respects. Above all, attendees noted, he always looked out for his city.

“He never forgot who we were,” said Bernadette McDonald, who lives in West Baltimore. “He was a son of Baltimore and a man of the people.”

The big names on the service’s agenda, the television cameras lined up outside and the large crowd belied the way many attendees interacted with the devoted congressman, who lived in the heart of West Baltimore and would simply give a knowing nod to those who recognized him on the street. He carried himself like anyone else when running errands or taking a walk around the block.

“If you didn’t already know him, you wouldn’t know who he was,” Ms. McDonald said.

Mr. Cummings saw his profile rise in recent years as he consistently sparred with Mr. Trump, determinedly pursuing the president, his businesses and his associates as head of the House Committee on Oversight and Reform. Mr. Cummings became a leading figure in the impeachment inquiry and was said to still be joining strategy discussions with colleagues from his hospital bed.

Rhonda Martin, who works at a local high school, said Mr. Cummings had inspired the next generation of Baltimore’s leaders by speaking to students in schools around the city.

“He brought a message of hope and told students that he did it, and they can do it, too,” Ms. Martin said.

Mr. Cummings, whose parents were former sharecroppers in South Carolina, graduated from Howard University in Washington and earned a law degree at the University of Maryland. He was first elected to Congress in 1996 and never faced a serious challenge over 11 successful re-election campaigns.

On Thursday, Mr. Cummings’s body lay in state in the Capitol, the first black lawmaker to do so, and Republicans and Democrats praised his integrity and his commitment to his constituents.

Over more than two decades in Congress, Mr. Cummings championed working people, environmental reform and civil rights. He served for two years as the chair of the Congressional Black Caucus and frequently spoke of his neighborhood while pushing legislation to lower drug prices, promoting labor unions and seeking more funding for affordable housing.

Even in his war of words with the president, the battle made its way to Baltimore when, in July, Mr. Trump called Mr. Cummings’s district a “disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess” and appeared to make light of a break-in at Mr. Cummings’s home, during which the congressman scared an intruder away.

The president’s insults still anger Baltimore residents. “See? We’re not all trash and rats,” one congregant said as she sat down in the church on Friday.

Mr. Cummings responded to the president by saying it was his “moral duty” to fight for residents in his district. “Each morning, I wake up,” he wrote, “and I go and fight for my neighbors.”

Jennifer Cummings, one of Mr. Cummings’s two daughters, recalled early morning calls from her father on her birthdays and the ice cream they shared in Baltimore’s Inner Harbor.

Reading from a letter to her father, Ms. Cummings said her father had taught her to “love my blackness” by insisting on buying her dolls with brown skin and telling her to appreciate her lips and nose.

While she was proud of all the titles he held over his life, “perhaps the most important title you held in your 68 years on earth was dad,” she said.

One of Mr. Cummings’s brothers, James Cummings, said that in one of their last conversations, the congressman spoke of his heartbreak over the unsolved killing of James’s 20-year-old son, Christopher Cummings, in Norfolk, Va., in 2011.

The killing “haunted Elijah for the rest of his life,” James said.

Adia Cummings, the congressman’s other daughter, said Mr. Cummings always challenged her and her sister to be better people. And even though he would nudge her about owing him money, he rarely turned down her requests, even recently making sure that she could attend a concert for the rapper Cardi B.

“He didn’t really know who she was, but he went out of his way, even from his sick bed, to make sure I could go see her,” she said.

Maya Rockeymoore Cummings, Mr. Cummings’s wife and the chairwoman of the Maryland Democratic Party, gave a fiery speech that brought multiple rounds of applause and many congregants to their feet more than once. And while she did not cite President Trump by name, she invoked him clearly, saying her husband’s work had become “infinitely more difficult” in the last few months of his life when he “sustained personal attacks” on him and his city. “It hurt him,” Ms. Cummings said.

Looking at Mr. Obama, she recalled that Mr. Cummings had stood with the former president early and proudly. “But you didn’t have any challenges like we have going on now,” she added with a smile, as Mr. Obama nodded and responded with an appreciative chuckle.

Ms. Cummings said she felt as if people were trying to tear Mr. Cummings down, and that the celebrations and outpouring of love this week had assured her that he was sent off with the respect he deserved.

Two days before Mr. Cummings died, his wife said, the staff at the Johns Hopkins Hospital had wheeled him up to the roof to see the sun and look over the city he never left.

“Boy, have I come a long way,” he said, according to Ms. Cummings.

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cherridawne · 7 years ago

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Love your flaws ❤️

Perfection?

What is it anyway?

Everyone can’t be perfect, and many of us are NOT.

Often, we are taught to hide our flaws and/or differences to blend in with the norm or to what people are used too. But why?! Our flaws and our differences make us unique. They make us, US! (WHY ARE THEY EVEN CALLED “FLAWS”....SOUNDING SO NEGATIVE!)

Most of us only think of flaws as physical things. Imperfections don’t only come physical but can be mental or medical as well (or viewed as such anyway). Its always easier to hide a birth mark, a skin condition or even a part of the body you aren’t too fond of. But not all physical flaws are hard to hide. A lisp or stutter (which can be argued as a mental one too) are nearly impossible to hide along with a bunch of other mental and medical imperfections. Think about it. There are a large number of people who just cannot hide their flaws even if they wanted to. These people (I believe) are strong and had to be even if they weren’t. Literally anything you don’t like about yourself can be a flaw whether you choose to hide it or embrace it. Or even accept it as a flaw or not because I don’t believe in flaws.

Have you ever considered that our flaws are blessings? Have you thought that you were blessed with such flaws for a reason? By now ya’ll know I believe in a higher power and I personally know that He gives his strongest the most to handle. He knows you can handle what ever He throws at you. He doesn’t make flaws, because then that would mean he makes mistakes! Even if you don’t look at it from a religious stand point I’m sure many of you readers can understand that difficult situations can make you stronger person.

One day, a friend of mine was just talking to me and he explained how my biggest flaw was effecting him so positively. I was shocked to hear him express his views regarding my flaws just because we never really spoke on it before. I mean, I didn’t really care what he had to say about it (regardless if it was good or bad), but I respected his opinion nonetheless. He said admired my bravery and strength for just simply not caring about it anymore and not trying to change who I am. It took A LOT for me to get to this point and of course nothing was easy about it. He understood the things I went through although he wasn't there and he knew I was a lot stronger because if it. He told me he hoped his children one day would understand the same values I taught myself as a kid and it would make them stronger beings for it.

I’m sure by now, ya’ll are wondering what the hell is wrong with CherriDawne?! What is this FLAW?! I suffer from have a deformity condition called brachymetatarsia (click the link for more information) on both of my feet. In simple non-medical terms is just a shorten toe. I can’t recall if i was born with it (after my own research I found out you actually can..but from what I heard learning to walk around things was always a challenge and I might of hit it among many other body parts while learning how to walk. LOL. SOMEHOW FINALLY MASTERED IT THOUGH!) but I don’t remember having "normal” feet. Either way, I was teased by family and children for years to the point I hid it. In Grade 6 it started to bother me less. I was asked if I wanted a surgery to correct it and have normal feet. I declined. In the sixth or seventh grade I knew that if I altered myself I would NEVER be fully satisfied with my body and not be who I was intended to be. It wasn’t like I was difficult to walk or my shoes didn’t fit so why make such a drastic change just to convince myself nothing was wrong with me. Nothing IS wrong with me,though. I was made to be this way.

So I say love your flaws! Accept who you were intended to be! Embrace your uniqueness! I have had a long battle and excepted mine. Maybe your flaws have nothing compared to others people’s, but you should never compare them anyway. Whatever your “flaw” is still will be a “flaw” until YOU say it’s not. Your opinion is the only one that really matters. Its time to toss all insecurities out the window and just be you! It’s not going to be easy but it is worth it! BELIEVE ME!

P.S I have met people that also have brachymetatarsia and JENNIFER GARNER has brachymetatarsia too!

Also guys, I’m not telling to you not to hide your flaws. At the end of the day you gotta make that ultimate choice and decide. “Do you Boo Boo!” This is just MY outlook on what flaws are and how I dealt with my flaws.

#SelfLove #Flaws #Imperfection #Unique #Flawless #Brachymetatarsia #ChatWithCherri #CherriDawne

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didanawisgi · 7 years ago

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By Kirsten Weir, December 2016, Vol 47, No. 11

"Do you believe police are implicitly biased against black people?" When NBC newsman Lester Holt asked Hillary Clinton this question in the first presidential debate, it was a sure sign the science of implicit bias had jumped from the psychology journals into the public consciousness—and that racial bias in law enforcement has entered the national dialogue.

There's evidence of racial disparities at many levels of law enforcement, from traffic stops to drug-related arrests to use of force. But the roots of those disparities aren't always clear. Experts point to systemic problems as well as the implicit (largely unconscious) biases mentioned in the debate. To be sure, those biases aren't unique to police. But in matters of criminal justice, implicit bias can have life-altering implications.

Social media has turned a spotlight on cases of racial discrimination. As the list of black citizens killed by nonblack officers grows, tensions between black communities and police are running high. "It's a nuanced problem but people continue to take a polarized view," says Jack Glaser, PhD, a social psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley. "It's not productive to demonize police."

Glaser says police departments are eager for solutions that will reduce racial disparities. "Police chiefs know what the stakes are," he says. Policymakers, too, are keen to take action. In October, for instance, the New Jersey attorney general issued a directive requiring mandatory classes in racial bias for police officers in the state. Psychologists, meanwhile, have the skills to understand discrimination and point to evidence-based solutions. "This is an area that's worth a lot of investment in research, and important for psychologists to think about," Glaser says.

Evidence of inequality

With more than 15,000 law enforcement agencies across the country operating at the federal, state and local levels, there is no "typical" police department. Still, evidence for racial disparities is growing. Most of those data focus on the treatment of black civilians by white officers. In an analysis of national police-shootings data from 2011–14, for example, Cody T. Ross, a doctoral student in anthropology at the University of California, Davis, concluded there is "evidence of a significant bias in the killing of unarmed black Americans relative to unarmed white Americans." The probability of being black, unarmed and shot by police is about 3.5 times the probability of being white, unarmed and shot by police, he found (PLOS One, 2015).

Other studies conflict with that finding. Harvard University economist Roland G. Fryer Jr., PhD, examined more than 1,000 shootings in 10 major police departments and found no racial differences in officer-involved shootings. Fryer did, however, find that black civilians are more likely to experience other types of force, including being handcuffed without arrest, pepper-sprayed or pushed to the ground by an officer (National Bureau of Economic Research, 2016).

Those disparities don't seem to arise from the fact that black Americans are more likely to commit crimes. Supporting this point is research by Phillip Atiba Goff, PhD, a social psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles, co-founder of the Center for Policing Equity. Goff, Glaser and colleagues reviewed data from 12 police departments and found that black residents were more often subjected to police force than white residents, even after adjusting for whether the person had been arrested for violent crimes (Center for Policing Equity, 2016).

Other data show that black people are also more likely to be stopped by police. Stanford University social psychologist Jennifer Eberhardt, PhD, and colleagues analyzed data from the police department in Oakland, California, and found that while black residents make up 28 percent of the Oakland population, they accounted for 60 percent of police stops. What's more, black men were four times more likely than white men to be searched during a traffic stop, even though officers were no more likely to recover contraband when searching black suspects (Stanford SPARQ, 2016).

And in Falcon Heights, Minnesota, where cafeteria worker Philando Castile was fatally shot by a nonblack officer in July after being pulled over for a broken taillight, statistics released by the local St. Anthony Police Department showed that about 7 percent of residents in the area are black, but they account for 47 percent of arrests.

The police officer's dilemma

Many factors can account for the differences in treatment at the hands of police. In some jurisdictions, explicit prejudice still occurs, says John Dovidio, PhD, a social psychologist at Yale University who studies both implicit and explicit prejudice. Many police departments and officers take a paramilitary approach to law and order, and sometimes adopt an "us-versus- them" attitude toward black communities, he says. "There can be a lot of dehumanization that occurs in the conversations people have, and that's explicit."

In many cases, however, the biases come from unconscious or unintentional beliefs. "A large proportion of white Americans have these [implicit] biases, and it's hard to expect police officers to be any different," Dovidio says.

Implicit biases are attitudes or stereotypes that can influence our beliefs, actions and decisions, even though we're not consciously aware of them and don't express those beliefs verbally to ourselves or others. One of the most well-demonstrated types of implicit bias is the unconscious association between black individuals and crime. That association can influence an officer's behavior, even if he or she doesn't hold or express explicitly racist beliefs.

Goff describes implicit bias as a kind of identity trap. "They're situations that trap us into behaving in ways that are not consistent with our values," he says.

Joshua Correll, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Colorado, has explored one facet of implicit racial bias in a series of laboratory studies since 2000. He developed and tested a paradigm known as "the police officer's dilemma," using a first-person-shooter video game. Participants are presented with images of young men, white and black, holding either guns or innocuous objects such as cellphones or soda cans. The goal is to shoot armed targets but not unarmed targets.

The researchers found that participants shoot armed targets more often and more quickly if they're black rather than white, and refrain from shooting more often when the target is white. The most common mistakes are shooting an unarmed black target and failing to shoot an armed white target (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

, 2002).

But experiments with police officers show a more complex pattern. Similar to community participants, officers showed evidence of bias in their reaction times, more quickly reacting to armed black targets and unarmed white targets—in other words, targets that aligned with racial stereotypes. But those biases evident in their reaction times did not translate to their ultimate decision to shoot or not shoot (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2007). Still, that's only part of the story. In later work, Correll found special unit officers who regularly interact with minority gang members were more likely to exhibit racial bias in their decision to shoot. When officers' training and experiences confirm racial stereotypes, those biases appear to hold more sway over their behavior (Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2013).

Bad habits

While research points to some patterns in implicit bias, we still have a lot to learn about the ways that biases influence people's decisions and behavior in the real world, says David M. Corey, PhD, a police psychologist and founding president of the American Board of Police and Public Safety Psychology. "Yes, implicit bias can affect us. The more important questions are, which persons are affected, and under what conditions?"

Yet while those questions remain unanswered, many police departments and policymakers have skipped ahead to a different one: What can be done to reduce implicit bias? "The police officers I've worked with are looking for effective ways to reduce implicit or unintended bias, and they welcome advice based on psychological evidence, not politics," says Corey.

Under pressure from the public, many police departments have implemented implicit bias workshops and trainings. That could be premature, says Corey. "We feel like we have to do something, but sometimes the action we take proves to be merely window dressing," he says. "My worry is that could cause a police agency to think they're doing enough, or that the monies being spent will prohibit spending for other areas, including research."

That hasn't stopped some departments from moving forward, however—a step that concerns Glaser and others who think evidence should come before implementation. "There are contractors that provide [implicit bias training], but there's zero evidence that what they do has an impact," Glaser says. "We don't know how to lastingly change implicit biases, particularly those as robust and prevalent as race and crime—and not for lack of trying."

Recently, psychologist Calvin K. Lai, PhD, at Harvard University, and colleagues tested nine different interventions designed to reduce implicit racial biases. Some interventions aimed to introduce participants to exemplary individuals that ran counter to traditional stereotypes, for example. Other strategies included priming participants to consider multicultural attitudes, or teaching participants strategies to create implementation intentions (such as repeating to themselves, "If I see a black face, I will respond by thinking ‘good.'"). In two studies with more than 6,300 participants, all of the interventions reduced implicit prejudice in the short term. But none of those changes lasted more than a couple of days following the intervention—and in some cases, the effects vanished within a few hours (Journal of Experimental Psychology, 2016). "Implicit associations are habits of mind," Dovidio says. "And habits are really hard to change."

That's not to say there's no value in training officers. But rather than trying to eliminate their unintentional biases, it might be more fruitful to stack the deck so that officers are less likely to act on those biases. "Character is a weak predictor of behavior, but situations are strong predictors of behaviors," Goff says. And changing situations can be more feasible than changing ingrained stereotypes.

Imagine, for example, officers chasing a perpetrator after a crime has occurred. "As they chase the person, it's building up their adrenaline. All of the biases they have come together like a perfect storm," Dovidio says—a storm that can lead to excessive force. To circumvent that possibility, he says, some police departments have implemented a policy that the officer who chases a suspect should not be the one to initiate subsequent steps, such as booking the suspect or leading the interrogation. "You try to build in structures and procedures that help overcome the tendencies," he explains.

Creating protocols and checklists for various law-enforcement situations can also help remove bias from the equation, adds Tom Tyler, PhD, a professor of law and psychology at Yale Law School. Federal authorities, for example, use such checklists when deciding whether to search airline travelers for drugs: Did the person use an alias? Did they pay for their tickets with cash? Are they using evasive movements? So far, checklists haven't been rolled out for everyday street stops, Tyler says, though such protocols could help reduce bias when officers decide whether to search a suspect or pull over a driver. "In ambiguous situations, people are more likely to act on bias," Tyler says. "If you have a script to follow, that's more objective."

Implementing protocols to circumvent bias could be helpful in the short term. Looking ahead, changing hiring practices could be an effective way to reduce racial disparities, says Corey, whose research focuses on selecting new officers. His research explores the cognitive characteristics that make a person more likely to resist the automatic effects of implicit bias.

For example, he points to research by B. Keith Payne, PhD, at Ohio State University, who found that people with poor executive control were more likely to express automatic race biases as behavior discrimination (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2005). By hiring police candidates who already possess qualities such as greater executive control, Corey says, "we can select police officers less likely to require cognitive reshaping."

Rebuilding community

Reducing and circumventing bias is one way to chip away at the disparities in how police treat black civilians. Another is to focus on the positive. Many departments are taking a fresh look at community policing, in which police and community members collaborate to rebuild trust and build safer neighborhoods.

Experts say efforts to reach across racial lines to build ties with community members could help to reduce disparities. Community policing efforts might include town meetings, polls and surveys, sitting down with interest groups and foot patrols to increase an officer's interactions with the neighborhood.

It's hardly a radical concept. "In the past, an officer used to walk a beat. They'd get out of their car, get to know people," says Dovidio. "When you don't have those personal experiences, you tend to treat people in a homogeneous way."

But over the last several decades that policing style has fallen out of favor as police have taken a hard line on minor offenses in an effort to reduce crime rates. "Policing in last 30 years in America has focused on a mission of crime control," says Tyler. Departments began adopting procedures such as New York City's controversial "stop-and-frisk" program, which encouraged officers to stop pedestrians and search them for weapons and contraband. Columbia University statistician Andrew Gelman, PhD, and colleagues reported that the program had the effect of disproportionately targeting black and Hispanic citizens, even after controlling for race-specific crime rates in the various precincts (Journal of the American Statistical Association, 2007).

Critics say such programs drive a wedge between police and community members, eroding trust. That lack of trust could be particularly problematic when layered on top of implicit racial stereotypes. "Effective policing requires the cooperation of the community. If the community doesn't trust you, they won't give you info to help you do your job," says Dovidio. "If you can create a sense of being on the same team, having the same goals, it makes policing more effective."

Writing on the wall

As citizens continue to demand change, police departments increasingly understand the importance of taking action, says Tyler. "I think many see the writing on the wall. It's in their interest to get ahead of the curve to prepare and reduce the likelihood of these politically damaging events."

Major police departments such as Chicago and New York City are making efforts to take action based on evidence, he says. And the Department of Justice recently issued a final report from the President's Task Force on 21st Century Policing that drew from research including the psychological literature, he says. "On the highest level, national leaders in policing are making an effort to do things based in research," Tyler says.

As such efforts continue, psychologists can help by studying disparities, developing new interventions and testing what works in the real world.

Glaser, for instance, is a co-investigator on the National Justice Database, a project at the Center for Policing Equity with funding from the National Science Foundation. The project team is studying use-of-force data to identify the variations in policies, practices and culture that could predict excessive force. "Data analysis doesn't solve problems on its own, but it helps to point to solutions," he says.

Dovidio adds that to be most effective, psychologists might take a hard look at their preconceived ideas about law enforcement. "If more psychologists understood how policing operates and the challenges that police face, we could do a lot in terms of creating partnerships for effective training and applications of psychological theory," he says.

For more on police and African-American shootings, go the APA Public Interest blog "Psychology Benefits Society,"https://psychologybenefits.org, and search for "police."