#back when I wrote fanfic it was so easy to name it literally anything

[fallstaticexit]

Just finished setting up my queue for some updates this weekend. I got 2 Missing Moments and 1 Nancy backstory ready to go 🙂‍↕️ thinking of doing a double feature tomorrow and saving Nancy’s for Saturday or Sunday.

I have a few asks and WCIFs in my inbox which I’m soooo sorry, I will answer tomorrow now that I’m kinda done with feverishly working on my passion projects for a sec. 🙏🏾

Ok now time for bed 😭

[drivestraight]

Do you think fanfic has changed you as a reader?

Every time I've been recommended a popular romance/drama novel, I read the summary or the first chapter and I literally cannot get through it for how cringe the writing is. It feels like a teenager wrote it. Grammatically it's fine, but the writing style and plot points and character names always make me stop reading. And I like to think that I've read many fanfics that were better. But I'm starting to wonder if it's because I've immersed myself in fic so much that that style of writing has become the new normal for me.

I haven't read a lot of novels in the past few years, but when I have it's been non-romance focused fiction, and mostly rereading books I already love. Sci-fi, mainly, but also children's action/adventure series (which I also find to be better written than anything YA or romance).

Do you relate to this, or am I too deep in the fanfic rabbit hole that I crave specific fanfic-isms? Has fanfic made me a lazy reader because I already know the world and characters and I just don't have patience for new characters and new worldbuilding?

I always feel like I should read other things.. but I just can't get myself to pick up a new book and actually follow through reading it.

i think it’s a mix. i think a lot of published fiction is generally bad and a lot of fanfiction is stupidly good. but that can go the other way around.

in the end they ARE different mediums. like you said, with fanfic you alr are immersed in the world, you alr know all the characters, and oftentimes you don’t have to worldbuild because the bones are alr there, and you can build off of it and a lot of the times go deeper than what is there IRL/in canon, whatever.

but also. a lot of fanfiction is Lazy writing — that’s the point. you can gloss over things/skills that are absolutely necessary when writing a story from scratch. and that leads to lazy reading. a lot of fanfic only reads as good because it IS fanfic, and i don’t think that’s a bad thing, just something to be aware of.

i do think that when u primarily read fanfic it can be hard to trust traditional books. i also don’t really read YA or romance books because if i want to read about two people falling in love oftentimes i’ll just read ff lol but it’s like — i think you’re allowed to read whatever you want at the end of the day. i don’t think you’re better if you only read fanfic or only read published media. fanfic is an easy access to community thru fandom and much more accessible, so there’s that.

i think if you really want to get back into published book reading, despite having trouble with it, you just have to be more patient, but also maybe recognize that just because a book is published doesn’t mean it’s good.

TLDR yeah, maybe ur brain has rotted from reading too much fanfiction but at the end of the day i don’t think it’s too big of a deal. have fun doing whatever you want. you’re not hurting anyone

[fanfic-corner]

AO3 Wrapped

Happy New Year everyone!! Although 2023 has been hard, it's nice to look back on everything we've achieved over the year before starting 2024. So here are all the fics I wrote this year!

Grishaverse

things we don't say (14k)

Inej's phone has been silent for two months.

OR

Inej and Kaz have broken up. Jan Van Eck has locked Wylan in the house and pulled him out of the university, preventing him from marrying Jesper.

There's only one logical solution to the two conundrums: a heist.

I love this series and this felt like a wonderful conclusion to characters I adore.

meet-cute (3k)

meet-cute

noun

(in a film or television programme) an amusing or charming first encounter between two characters that leads to the development of a romantic relationship between them.

One meet-cute isn't enough for Jesper and Wylan. Here's the story of their first two.

Inspired by the series, I thought I'd write a little bit of wesper fluff, never realising I may never see them again :')

dream of better nights (1k)

Nina hasn't fought so hard and so long to let Matthias stay in Hellgate.

I couldn't leave them apart like that!

Fairytale of Ketterdam (2k)

Kaz has dreamed of seeing Inej again for two years.

He wasn't expecting to find out she's coming home from an idiot. An idiot who's kidnapped him. An idiot who wants to ruin the Feast of Saint Nikolai by destroying Kaz's family.

Luckily, Dirtyhands - for the first time in a long time - has backup.

A little Kaz-centric fic for the Grishaverse Secret Santa!

The Last of Us

hold me close to your heart (2k)

Joel convinces Ellie to come back to Jackson before they rush into a cure. And in the meantime, he's tasked with the very important job of finding her new nickname.

AO3 went down immediately after I finished TLOU and then this happened!

Safe as Houses (7k)

Making it back to Jackson doesn't promise Joel and Ellie safety. But it does offer them one thing the open road didn't: a home.

This was so much fun to write... Joel and Ellie are just Tony and Peter in a different font!

Marvel

the ripples they cause (111k)

There is exactly one person who remembers the name Peter Parker, and that’s Spider-Man. Although the spell prevented the multiverse from tearing itself apart, Peter’s problems are far from over. The number of people calling for his arrest grows every day, and it’s not easy to live your life when you no longer exist.

Luckily for him, the apartment above him belongs to two really good lawyers, and they know every vigilante in the city. With their help — and the assistance of two Avengers intent on rising from the dead — Peter may just be able to find his way in this strange new world.

I started this in 2022, but finishing it in May this year was one of my proudest achievements. To write a novel-length fanfic and finish the ending I wish No Way Home had meant a lot, so thank you to all the wonderful people who commented and egged me on!

what it means to be a person (currently 28k)

Nearly a year after the spell that erased Peter Parker, he finds himself chained to his old mentor. Literally.

Tony Stark has been running from his memories of Thanos for two years, burying himself in work and spending time with the family he nearly lost. But when a cunning new villain kidnaps Spider-Man to get to him, they’ll have to work together to escape with their lives.

But Spider-Man is just a kid. A kid who seems to have the answers to every hole in Tony’s memory. And he’ll do anything to protect the one person who might finally let him rest.

I just love making everyone cry. Both at my update schedule and emotions.

According to AO3, I wrote a whopping 173,000 words this year! Here's to even more fanfic next year 🎉

[childotkw]

Imagine my surprise that after my many month long hyper fixation on hotd that a friend of mine rec’s me some hp fanfics for delicious consumption and I stumble into ybtm…. And it’s written by you!!!!

I knew in the back of my mind while reading ruination that you wrote tomarry as well but it never occurred to me when getting back into hp fics that yours were kicking around somewhere!

To say I’m obsessed is an understatement, holy shit, I think I read ybtm in like 2 days???? And then proceeded to come and stalk your tumblr afterwards to get any more juicy details!!

Tom and Harry’s relationship is so refreshing and to see a time travel fic where Harry is kicking ass and taking names is a godsend, I could never understand trying to be a 30 year old war veteran stuck inside a child and not laying down the law a little bit. *chefs kiss*

Of course I can’t read anything without putting my thoughts to pen and paper so I drew a little Nat!

Nathan seems like such a sweet heart and it’s so easy to see how Harry would immediately come to be so protective of him, with them being so similar as kids.

And don’t get me started on the Nat Obsession Club TM, seeing Orion and Tom’s reaction to Harry in their world is insane. The boys feud over who gets to keep Harry is going to bring me joy for months to come and Gus’s begrudging acceptance of seeing Harry being welcomed into there life, and not throttling Ori for it, is hilarious. Just let the kid do his homework for Pete’s sake! 

I’ve fallen in love with this universe and can’t sing your praises more! Can’t believe I have another wonderful story of yours to look forward to in the future, your writing truly does inspire and can’t wait to see what you come up with next!

Omg hahaha that's brilliant 😂 and I'm so happy you liked it!!! ybtm is such a strange story - I never expected it to get as big as it did, but I'm always so excited when I see new people discovering it and watching their reactions to The Big Twist!

Harry and Tom are so much fun to write tbh. Because you're right - most of the time in these kinds of stories, Harry is...not 'weak' or anything, but he's way more susceptible to Tom's manipulation. And Tom's usually in his sixth year or something.

Whereas here, it's the reverse. Harry's the older one and he takes no shit from these literal children. Tom and Orion are out here trying so hard to be sneaky, manipulative Slytherins and are so absorbed in their little plots, and Harry is just over in the corner staring into the void and having a fricking existential crisis.

But oh - OH I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! BABY NATHAN! MY SON MY HEART MY PRECIOUS ANGEL he is beautiful 😭🥰🥰🥰 thank you so much!!! It's always a delight to see you in my inbox, and you're so talented!!! Thank you thank you thank you for your art and your kind words!!

[justmeinatree]

i love talking about my writing so i do not mind all the questions 😂 i've been part of too many fandoms to name here but some of the ones i was the most involved in include Supernatural (still love the show, just don't engage with the fandom much anymore), the MCU (stopped watching the movies after Endgame, went to see Eternals because Harry was in the post credits scene and then fell asleep halfway through and missed him), Star Wars (was more into this when i was younger, these days the only Star Wars media i really care for is Rogue One and nobody else seemed to like that movie lol), Star Trek (mostly TOS), Doctor Who (same thing as Supernatural, still love it just not in the fandom anymore, and the 12th Doctor is my favorite <3), Community (still love the show, probably going to be getting back into the fandom when the movie drops), Les Miserables (i've read the book, seen the Hugh Jackman movie too many times to count, and saw a performance of it a few years back! still love the musical but the fandom feels like it's mostly dead now), Harry Potter (for obvious reasons, I have distanced myself from this one as much as possible but I was a Ravenclaw if anyone was wondering), the Throne of Glass books by Sarah J Maas (actually planning to reread this over the summer! may get back into the fandom, we'll see) and I've been active in the fandom for just about every mainstream horror franchise (and plenty of the more obscure ones too lol). I could probably spend hours creating a comprehensive list of fandoms but i think this is enough for now, unless you're just dying to know more 😂 i started writing in first grade, so around 6 years old. i've known i want to be a writer almost my entire life. i think the first bit of fanfic i ever wrote was for Harry Potter actually, but i don't remember anything about it. and i don't actually know what got me into reading fanfic...i just kind of always remember it being my go-to form of entertainment when i was bored. i am SO sorry for putting a whole novel in your askbox...apparently we're both in very chatty moods today lol

dialogue is the hardest thing for me to write because i always have to rewrite the conversation ten times before i feel like it sounds the way two people would actually speak. i'm much better at giving overly flowery descriptions of the space, and of character's appearances, emotions, etc. i tend to try and limit dialogue as much as i can when possible. my other writing crutch is semi-colons...i simply cannot go a paragraph without including one.

now the pressure is on to keep the fic good for the two of you 😂 i think this is the first time i've been told that two of my readers were talking about my fic beyond the comments section.

i think she's 3 years old? but i always forget. i'll have to ask my mom next time i call her, she's the one that keeps track 😂

-🤘

wow, i cannot comment on any of the fandoms 🫣 don’t rip me apart or anything but i’ve literally never watched a single movie or episode related to any of them 😅 to be fair though, i rewatch the same like 10 tv shows on repeat and i’m not much one for movies 😬 but still that’s so impressive ! HOW did you find so many things that you enjoyed enough to join a fandom ? honestly love all of that for you, and apparently i need to broaden my horizons 😅

that’s crazy how it’s so opposite for us ! conversation is so easy for me to imagine. i wouldn’t even know how to avoid it 😅 semi colons !! never use those bad boys but i’m told i use too many commas. love me a good comma 😂

SHE’S SO CUTE !! i’ve seen the photos you sent and omggg she’s seriously adorable. i don’t know what i was picturing but honestly she’s surpassed the image ! such a fkn cutie 😍😍

[superfluouskeys]

35, 57, 69 for the fic writer asks?

Thank you for indulging me!!!

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

This is hard to answer LOL, like almost every fic is special to me for some particular reason, and ya girl has been blasting the internet with her nonsense for a solid 20 years at this point. I always have a particular fondness for fics that were especially difficult for me to write for whatever reason, especially when I feel they turned out well, because it's so satisfying to be able to see the work I put in paying off. But then again I'm looking at my recent fics and I'm like "okay but the hawkeline one was easy to write and I really love it :( and [redacted--i promise it's NOT the prisoner LOL] took 10 yrs off my life and i hate it :("

But with that said the fic that came to mind was New Disaster (portal chell-focused chelldos fic) because it was hard to write in the sense that it's so self-contained within one character who canonically doesn't speak. It's hard to strike a balance between heavy introspection/character-focused pieces and actual story progression, which I think I did well in that fic. Not to say it's my favourite ever bc I think that would just be impossible to choose but I still feel a lot of fondness for it and it's not like super recent!

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Extremely conscious--it's almost always very intentional! Although don't go looking too hard or you'll just notice that I love to put a scene in the rain and you won't be able to unsee it.

69. What are your favorite fics at the moment?

Oh this is gonna be so bad I'm so sorry in advance. So I don't read very much fanfic anyway, and as I am currently in my first year of law school that pitiful number has been reduced to near-zero. Pretty much if I read something it's bc a friend wrote it/sent it to me or I stumbled upon it somewhere and immediately liked the writing style--like we're talking IMMEDIATELY like if you don't have me in the first sentence I literally have to go back to reading about the constitution or whatever.

The only time I usually search AO3 for stuff is when a particular pairing has made me insane and I want to see what's out there for it, and I'll just open a tab of anything that looks vaguely legible and go through mercilessly judging them on the first few sentences akjsndkjasdnad like I don't read tags at all and very often get absolutely BLINDSIDED by something I could have easily seen but that's part of the fun tbh.

So this has been awhile at this point but the most recent fic author whose style I was absolutely obsessed with is thepapernautilus/thenautilusknoweth--I stumbled onto her fics bc of wol/g'raha from ffxiv and her prose is just so evocative and gripping that by the time I realized what level of spicy fic I was reading I was too deep in and was just like welp whatever I'm along for the ride at this point LOL.

Another fic that never leaves my mind is April Come She Will by tetrahedron -- it's Hawke/Varric and Hawke/Fenris (set in da:i) and it's just......exquisite pain. I can only dream of writing angst so good. Altered something fundamental in my DNA.

And of course no such list would be complete without the incomparable menzosarres, known by many names, who totally 100% definitely doesn't write anymore and if I went looking for an anonymous fic that may or may not have been written by her as SOON as I had the relevant show knowledge to understand it well then that is a matter for history to decide.

Fanfiction Writing Asks

[iztopher]

gee i wonder what questions i should ask from the ask meme you just reblogged. oh i know. how about: All Of Them

(jk just do the ones you want but i am VERY curious and would love to hear your thoughts)

EHEHE it is always my pleasure! this took me a hot sec for Several Reasons, one of them being i ... got distracted by writing fanfic...

i've already answered some here and here, but here's the remainder:

Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

Actually, not that I can think of. That sounds fun tho

Do you have a beta reader?

Usually! I enlist various different friends depending on fic haha. Sometimes though I just wing it

Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it.

I actually forgot to include this answer in my last one where I was prompted it, so: I feel like my writing is... very me? I've shared excerpts of my work before and friends have been like of Course you wrote that Iz and it makes me feel good. I'd also like to think it's direct/easy to understand while still being interesting, but, well, I'm biased on that regard LOL.

First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

okay actually genuinely I love them. the most appealing part of characters kissing to me is figuring out Why they want to smash their mouths together and first kiss fics are some of the most dedicated to distilling that question to its essence and building the scene/fic around it. SUPER fun!

Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

yes, pretty much always! lately i've been repeating Middle Distance Runner by Sea Wolf (I fall back on this one a lot, I like listening to it for introspective scenes) and That Unwanted Animal by The Amazing Devil.

What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

mostly microsoft word, sometimes google docs (if I'm writing on the go), and, when I'm particularly stuck or just getting started, directly in AO3

Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

sooooo many. even more of them are "shelved" / liable to come back from the dead one day, though.

Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

yes! Most people, lol.

Do you drink and write?

LMAO NO i tried this once but alcohol literally only makes me sleepy so i cannot do anything creative if i've been drinking.

Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

I have, in the past, attempted the spicy stuffs, but I've never posted it LMAO. I did, however, use to pass them around for friends on Google Docs, which means I do have a most popular NSFW fic. i wrote it in high school. it was way more comedy than smut. the fake official name was "there's a first time for everything" but nobody has ever called it anything other than HJAU, which stands for. well. hand job alternative universe. don't worry about it!

Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

either early morning (coffee time), mid/late afternoon (coffee time again), or once it's dark out.

How do you feel about comments and feedback?

I LOVE them.

What's a trope you will never write?

okay I make enough snarky comments about writing tropes I don't like into something that I do, or criticizes the aspects I don't like of them, where it's hard for me to say "never". but probably soulmate AUs - people do interesting stuff with them, but I don't trust myself to be one of those people.

Would you ever open commissions?

nahhh, my writing is too... selective for that LMAO. also it's more fun for me for it to be a hobby i don't make money from. i want to take more requests, though! once i finish my first set.

What's your most popular fic?

by kudos, Freckles!

Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

I do not, but am I allowed to recommend someone else's holiday inspired fic in response to this? because I adore The Annual Pendragon-Johnson Hannuchristmas Double Holiday Banquet and Bash series by Ishti.

Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

I've never posted a multichap where this would be relevant before, but it would be super cool if that did happen when/if I post more plot-y fic.

How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

oh my god i LOVE them. I've gotten one piece of fanart directly based on one of my fics and it was lovely.

How many fics do you have?

currently on AO3, 14!

Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

mix of both, really depends on the fic. if I'm feeling cocky and think I can knock it out in a sitting or two, seat of my pants, if not, outline.

What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

write what you want to read, and for an intended audience of you and like, 1-5 cool people you know will read it. other people may read it too, and if they do, that Rules, but it's so much easier to embrace fanfic as a labor of love if your primary focus is on you and your friends having fun.

Who's your comfort character?

I don't really use this term ever LOL. I definitely explore like... vent-y stuff most often through ... galahad ... though.

Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

no character was picked for this :P

Who is your favorite character to write?

Te'ijal and Galahad tied.

Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

currently posted online? none! however, uh, I'm working on something right now that I can't decide if I want to post specifically because the answer to this question would immediately become the fic in question.

What leads you to consider a fic a success?

did my friends like it :) bonus points for if people point out in comments parts I was especially proud of when writing. OR: if I go back and read it in a few months, does it make me feel the way I wanted it to make a reader feel.

Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

oh boy no jhdskgjsdf

How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

SOBS. I have no idea because I'm a horrible multitasker who will work on 20 fics at once. lately, though, since I've started sitting down and focusing on one fic at a time, it tends to be in the 2 days to 2 weeks range.

What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

romance is like pulling teeth for me, which is unfortunate because there's so many ships in Aveyond I feel the "SOMEBODY'S gotta do it" emotion about

How do you feel about criticism?

from friends I appreciate it, and I appreciate it from anyone when WIPs are sent. but I am very glad to have never received unasked for criticism from a stranger on a finished fic lol

Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

i love making "implied/referenced (character/ship)" jokes

How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I LOVE it, omg, questions about my fics are super welcome and in fact would make my day! (that's part of why I love doing these memes)

[katsuizu-stuff]

bkdk fanfic ideas because i have to many and can’t do them all, so here’s something nobody asked for but will get…

katsuki ends up finding a diary at school he takes it with him and when he gets home he ends up opening it and as he reads it the diary is just full page after page about him. and the more katsuki reads he ends up wondering who wrote it just to see who has fallen for him and has been for, clearly, a while

when he ends up finding out that it’s deku he has no idea what to do or say because he never thought that izuku would fallen for him since he bully’s him

(This is sorta kinda like Cinderella)

izuku is a yandare and he does anything and all in his power to ‘take out’ all those who want to take his kacchan away but the one who gets in the way and he can’t ‘take out’ is (insert character) because katsuki won’t leave his or her side

but eventually, after trying so many times, izuku gets (said character) and instead of quickly ‘taking (character’s name) out’ he decides to ‘play’ with (character name) just to see how katsuki would react and relish his kacchan’s emotions he’s never seen before but eventually katsuki finds out and the most unexpected thing happens because katsuki confesses he’s being doing the same thing

literally almost any disney princess movie/story line

cinderella

cinderella: izuku

prince charming: katsuki

the little mermaid

ariel: izuku

prince eric: katsuki

beauty and the beast

belle: katsuki

beast: izuku

aladdin

jasmine: katsuki (only because katsuki would look so awesome with a pet tiger or lion, something along those lines)

aladdin: izuku

ect…

Katsuki gets hit with a quirk that makes him grow cat ears for 24hrs. and everyone is obsessed and want to touch his cat ears but he won’t let them

But Katsuki also notices that Izuku has been keeping his distance ever since Katsuki got hit with the quirk and at night (before the cat ears disappear) Katsuki goes to Izuku’s dorm room and confronts him and Izuku is nervous af but ends up admitting he was trying to keep his distance because he was the one most obsessed with the cat ears and wanted to touch them and at the end Katsuki gives in letting only Izuku touch the ears

(This can also happen but instead of Katsuki getting hit with cat ears Izuku gets hit and gets bunny ears)

Izuku gets hit with a quirk which makes him fall hard for the first person he sees and of course he sees Katsuki first and now he won’t leave him alone. Izuku clings to him and has his arms wrapped around Katsuki’s arm or waist. Izuku showers Katsuki with praises way more than he normally does, he tries to hold Katsuki’s hand multiple times, he gives him unpredictable kisses randomly and would literally do anything for Katsuki

Katsuki wanting this to stop he has to kiss Izuku back it doesn’t have to be necessary on the lips it could be a simple forehead kiss or a kiss on the cheek basically any type of kiss but it’s extremely hard for Katsuki to do it because he has feelings for Izuku and now he has no idea what to do eventually Katsuki puts on his big boy pants and kisses Izuku and they get together

(This one has no time limit ex. 24hrs.)

Izuku and Katsuki bump into each other in the old playground they use to play when they were kids and sit on the swings and just remember the good old days before things changed and they end up telling each other their feelings and end up getting together

Izuku and Katsuki go on an amusement park date and have fun

(this on is pretty easy and on the point)

Katsuki and Deku end up playing the Pocky game

(Again this one is pretty easy and to the point)

It’s Halloween night and class A throws a party and Katsuki or Izuku end up wearing a very ‘intriguing’ costume and one thing leads to another and they never make it to the party

*

Yeah that’s pretty much it I have way to many ideas for fics, but if any of you would like to use any of these then you can I won’t mind at all and it doesn’t necessarily have to be bkdk it can be any of your favorite ships, have fun writing your fic(s) if you end up using one of these 😊

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Thurs 10 June ‘21

DREAMS DO COME TRUE and fanfics do come to life, how lucky are we? Seriously though, cooking show Louis AND footie Louis in one day, have we finally crossed out of the dark timeline and into some kind of blessed AU?! Louis is doing a COOKING SHOW (well, a little cooking video), and even better- it’s one of those things where he tries to recreate a recipe on his own for the camera! Full Time Meals is part of Marcus Rashford’s campaign to end child food insecurity in the UK. Celebrity chef Tom Kerridge makes easy meals from cheap ingredients for folks to follow along with, so Louis shouldn’t have too much trouble- good for him, though maybe not quite as entertaining for us, but this is one step closer to Celebrity Bake Off, keep dreaming big and crossing those fingers! Kerridge will post his recipe video on Sunday, and then Monday they’ll post Louis making the same thing. The preview pic is just long ass hair everywhere OMG. Put on a hairnet, hippie! NOT ONLY THAT I guess he is still at the studio, but hey that just means more video for us and not only that, today’s fan videos are of Louis kicking a football around- look at him GO!- with CHILDREN, goddddd. TOOO much, truly excellent.

My Policeman filming officially wrapped, and Harry took a fan pic in London (with a fan called… Harry!) Harry (Styles) is wearing his “louie” shirt (hey I didn’t name the thing okay it’s literally called that) and carrying his blue bandana in his back pocket (on the left, relevant if hanky code, probably not relevant if he was just carrying it for hay fever symptoms or whatever.)

Liam assured us that the Vegas entrepreneur dinner will be very fun and (in his underwear, hello) said that he loves his discord and he did a live chat about Lonely Bug and NFTs. He said, “lonely bug is my inner child,” there will be LB merch- “very limited toy drop might add clothes don’t know,” that the new song has “very very bright lyrics,” and said both that his knee is sore and that his knee is much better thanks, how very Liam.

And in a (these days rare for me) dip into fandom discourse, I see writer Kaitlyn Tiffany is back making the rounds of blogs for her book about the 1D fandom and how craaaazzzy larries are; BLOCK HER. Her tumblr url is kaittiffany (EDIT SJDKJFKS she has deleted since this morning OK THEN but she will be back again; I’m leaving this in for next time as we definitely haven’t seen the last of her, plus you know I went to all the trouble of writing it.) A book actually reporting on this complex and somewhat unique fandom objectively from a place of interest and curiosity would be fascinating and totally worthwhile… but sadly this REALLY ain’t it. She has made it clear she has no intention of actually writing about the intricacies of this fandom, only in finding material to bolster her already decided upon thesis about the ‘clinical paranoia’ and conspiracy theorizing of young women online. Her entire premise is based on her own preconceived bias, and she came here to find things to support her premise rather than coming up with it based on what she saw (not to mention it’s totally dated at this point, she really missed the cultural moment on that) and she has no interest in hearing what we have to say, only in pathologizing to support the sensationalist brief she probably got a publishing advance for and finding things to pull out of context to make her already decided on points. Anyway she wrote the intern- who had not blocked her to that account, oops- offering the ‘choice’ between one of our posts being quoted in her book with or without a name attached GEE THANKS SUCH GREAT OPTIONS; once she sees anything she wants to pull out of context, you can’t do anything about it (this is a public platform), so just block her so she doesn’t see it in the first place.

Hey but since we’re not getting an actual balanced book about the fandom maybe someone should write a companion book to hers analyzing the psychological phenomena of antis! Hey publishers, I can throw around buzz words too plus unlike her I know what I’m talking about as an actual member of this community, check it out: I propose an analysis in the aftermath of the Trump era of ‘othering’ in online spaces and how certain fandom groups operate as a socially acceptable entry level location of practice in demonizing a peer population which can act as a gateway to normalizing the othering of other cultures, races, etc. In this essay book I will address how fans experience peer validation and support to egg each other on in bullying other people because those people have been coded as Other and Wrong and because their community reinforces the idea that attacking other humans is Good Behavior and that normal constraints and ethics are suspended when people need to be Made to Understand the Righteous Truth and that any means justify that end, and how that carries over into non-fandom life and is dangerous as hell. Now THAT’S timely, DM for deets about where to send my advance!

[kittyprincessofcats]

She-Ra S5 E08 - Shot in the Dark

There might be spoilers for the rest of the season in this post!

I absolutely LOVE this episode, and at first, I couldn’t really put my finger on why I liked it that much. And then Noelle tweeted this:

And yeah, that’s what it boils down to. This is the first *happy* Catra episode since... basically since “Once Upon a Time in the Waste” - and back then, the happiness didn’t last long.

(I also just think that story of AJ being so worried about Catra and Noelle reassuring her with every script is so adorable. I love to see how much they all care about these characters.)

Now let’s get into the episode!

- “Why does space hate me so much?” Yeah Glimmer, as I’ve said before, your powers don’t work in space because otherwise things would be way too easy and this show would be over way too quickly.

- “So, your plan is to, what? Ram through an armada of ships?” “No! ...Maybe!” 😂 I love Adora.

- The way Catra’s hands are shaking when she tells Adora they’re going to get caught... oh, baby 😢. And how Adora suddenly looks so worried... gosh, these two.

- Catra and Adora playfully arguing over whether or not Catra ‘defeated’ them in the past is so cute. I love this kind of ‘former enemies’ bickering and it’s why I was so glad they didn’t wait until the very end of the show to redeem Catra.

Bow: “Adora, Catra’s right.”

[Everyone’s eyes go wide.]

Bow: ... “That felt weird to say.”

😂 Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Bring on all the ‘former enemies’ bickering, please!

- So, is this just because Wrong Hordak’s “brains were scrambled”, as Bow put it, or do all the clones randomly blurt out that Horde Prime has a weakness whenever they hear someone ask about it? I’m going to assume it’s the former. Also, the way he keeps blurting out more and then denying that Krytis exists is super funny.

- I like how they set Krytis up before with Catra having visions of it back in Taking Control - still pretty convenient that just hearing the name lets her make the connection, but I’ll take it. (Is it meant to be some lingering effect of being connected to the hivemind that she’s having visions of it again now, or is it just her remembering what she saw before?)

- I love the detail that Darla’s information on Krytis is locked and they need administrator clearance to access it. Shows again that the First Ones aren’t that different from Horde Prime - they were also ashamed of their failure to conquer Krytis and tried to hide the information on it.

- “In- In- In- Incorrect. It is located nowhere, because it does not exist, because Lord Prime destroyed it.” I honestly think this line should be a meme. When you want to hide something from someone (but you know it does exist), just quote that exact line (kind of like “There is no war in Ba Sing Se”). I once said it to my sisters when they asked about certain fanfics I wrote as a teenager. (“Nope, they are located nowhere, because they do not exist, because Lord Prime destroyed them.”)

- Changes in the opening: Micah, Spinnerella, Scorpia and Mermista are now standing mind-controlled around the Heart of Etheria in the villains’ shot. They’re also all missing from the final heroes’ card. In that final shot, Perfuma and Sea-Hawk both look sad now, and Netossa looks angry.

- Catra touching her neck when she sees the spire on Krytis... 😢. I’m here for the angst, but I also just need Catra to get lots of love and comfort after everything she’s been through.

- Can we talk about how absolutely ADORABLE her space suit is, though? Bow is absolutely right to coo over those ears. And when she tries to take it off with her foot? And Adora laughs about it? And Catra smiles when she sees her laugh? ❤️❤️❤️

- Wrong Hordak still denying that Krytis exists while currently being on Krytis is absolutely hilarious to me. It reminds me of flat-earthers or anti-vaxxers, or people who try to deny Covid exists (while others are currently dying from Covid) - not that any of those are funny, of course. I just mean that wrong Hordak nicely demonstrates how ridiculous they can sound.

- Catra calling out the Best Friend Squad on how dumb their plan is and then reacting with “Honestly, what did I expect?” is absolutely iconic. They really were missing her as the team’s braincell all along.

- Bow and Glimmer teasing Catra about her “first mission”, Catra grumbling that she’s going to kill Adora’s friends, Adora responding with a really calm “Please don’t” - everything about this is perfect. 🤣

- Also, small detail, but I love how Catra has a hard time walking in her spacesuit because she’s not used to wearing shoes.

- The remaining rebels looking around the destroyed camp is really sad. Frosta immediately trapping Castaspella in ice and checking her neck is great, though. That’s what they should have been doing all along. Why didn’t they also check Shadow Weaver’s neck, though? I know she’s intimidating and all, but there was no way of knowing if she’s chipped.

- “How did the rebellion lose so many of our finest members and yet we’re still stuck with you?” Castaspella’s asking the real questions! I like how literally no one in the rebellion likes Shadow Weaver. (Though honestly, I’m also glad she’s not chipped. Imagine how hard fighting a chipped Shadow Weaver would have been.)

- “But if you try anything, I won’t hesitate to strike you down.” Castaspella said ‘I won’t hesitate, b*tch!’

- Every single part of Wrong Hordak’s existential crisis (and Entrapta’s handling of it) is absolutely hilarious. I’m not going to quote all of it here, but pretty much every line of it is comedy gold. My favourite moment is probably “It seems Wrong Hordak has begun to question the meaning of life” (and everyone’s annoyed expressions at his crying) 😂😂. (On a more serious note, though: As much as it’s played for laughs, Wrong Hordak turning his entire worldview around in such a short amount of time is also pretty epic.)

- Catra just cutting through that door - damn, she’s strong! And I love Adora’s blush! (Yeah, the door was probably just an illusion, but my point still stands. She’s at least strong enough that it doesn’t seem completely weird that she'd be able to just cut through a door like that.)

- “You have an arrow that turns into a magnifying glass? I can’t believe we were losing to you guys.” 🤣🤣 Catra realizing the people she was fighting are actually idiots will never not be funny.

- It goes hand in hand with Bow realizing Catra is actually a cute kitty with an adorable sneeze. Good stuff. And the way her tail gets fluffy when she insists she’s not cute? D’awww. (Bow saying “The angrier you get, the cuter you are” reminded me of that scene in Steven Universe where Peridot loses her limb-enhances at the beginning of her redemption arc and Steven calls her cute and “an angry little slice of pie”.)

- Castaspella’s cape getting stuck in tree branches and the like is pretty funny, ngl. This is why Edna Mode said “No capes”.

- Shadow Weaver saying that her gifts are “far subtler” than mind-control is very fitting. Her thing is manipulation, after all. She doesn’t need to control people’s minds when she can just manipulate them and raise them in a way that’ll make them do what she wants. It’s scarier than mind-control in a way because it’s far more realistic. Mind-control doesn’t exist in real life, but manipulative parents (or just manipulative people) who will mess someone up emotionally? Very realistic.

- I like that you can tell that something’s off about Entrapta’s voice this time if you pay attention to it.

- “Seriously? How have you guys stayed alive this long?” Yup, the people you were fighting are idiots and you’re the braincell of the team now, Catra.

- I love the creepy music when Entrapta tells them it’s the first time they’ve talked since the last floor.

- Also, I love how Catra’s first instinct is to just launch herself at Melog, even though you could tell she was terrified just a moment earlier.

- I really like the moment where Glimmer realizes there’s magic on Krytis, especially since she doesn’t have her other powers right now.

- Melog bonds with Catra because they have the same sneeze ❤️❤️

- “Are you... are you petting the thing that’s been trying to kill us?” I love this whole moment 😹. I also love how Adora is so protective of Catra and immediately yells “Get away from her!” when Melog seems to get angry.

Catra: “I’m sorry. I got angry. It’s something I’m working on.”

Adora [with sparkling eyes]: “Aww, you are?”

Catra: “Yes! Now can you please...” [deep breath] “Yes. I am.”

I love everything about this. Catra genuinely working on her anger issues, Adora being so touched about it (remember back in Taking Control where she wished that Catra would ‘at least try’?), Catra having to hold back her anger because she realized Melog responds to emotions - perfect. ❤️😂👍

- Catra is so sweet when she calms Melog down. And the moment where they form their bond is really nice.

- So, can Catra understand Melog because of their bond, or because they’re both cats? I’m assuming it’s because of their bond?

- Melog’s backstory is really sad. But Adora offering to take them to Etheria is a really sweet scene.

- I like the parallel between the Best Friend Squad realizing that magic is Horde Prime’s weakness (and that the only planet he ever failed to conquer had wild magic) and Shadow Weaver telling Castaspella that the First Ones weakened Etheria’s magic and they have to set it free.

- “Stop me if I try to take the power for myself.” I’m not sure how I feel about that line. I like how SPOP has very much written Shadow Weaver as ambiguous so far. She’s not a good or nice person by any means, but is she at least on the side of the good guys and really trying to help now or is she still only after her own selfish goals? I very much did not want Shadow Weaver to get any sort of redemption or forgiveness, and I’ve always interpreted her as still being power-hungry. So, I have mixed feelings about this line. I like that it canonically acknowledges that Shadow Weaver is still tempted by power and might actually try to take the magic for herself, but asking Castaspella to stop her if she tries makes her look more selfless and like she’s taking precautions against it. (But then again, could Castaspella even stop her if she tried? I’m pretty sure Shadow Weaver is the stronger one of the two. So, you could still read this as Shadow Weaver being a master manipulator and only saying this so Castaspella will feel more inclined to trust her and go along with her plan - while knowing full-well that she could easily defeat Castaspella if it ever actually came down to it.)

Glimmer: “So, just to make sure I get it - We’re going to go running through a Horde blockade while relying on the magic of a creature we just met?”

Catra: “That about sums it up, yes.”

You know what this means - Catra’s a part of the Squad now!

- “Punch it, Darla!” I still love that the ship’s name is Darla. Also, all of their expressions when they fly through the blockade should be a “draw the squad” meme.

- Catra holding Adora’s hand and getting embarassed about it ❤️❤️ (while Adora is dumb and doesn’t even notice).

- I did not expect us to get a Glitra cheek kiss this season, but I’m not complaining! Also, Catra complaining while Glimmer and Bow are hugging her is such a cat thing; I love it.

- “We made it. We’re home.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this is actually the first episode this season that ends on a happy / hopeful note and not on some kind of cliffhanger. And I really like that. This is where the “space arc” of season 5 offically comes to and end and I’m glad it has its own little happy ending. (And as much as I like the final episodes of the season, the space arc is still probably my favourite half of it.)

I love this episode, mainly because of what it means for Catra. She’s finally happy, she saved the day, she’s bonding with Bow and Glimmer and constantly flirting with Adora, and she has an amazing therapy cat now! I loved all the bickering between her and the others and how she’s starting to open up to them. Also, Wrong Hordak was absolutely hilarious in this episode and I commend Entrapta for having the patience to deal with his existential crisis. This was a really nice way to wrap the space arc up and bring the Squad back to Etheria.

[Previous episode]   [Next episode]

[thedeadflag]

I’m so confused! I know it’s not your responsibility to educate me but in your post bringing awareness to the negative aspects of g!p fanfic you say

“Why do these g!p characters rarely if ever involve experiences reflective of trans/intersex women? Why are they so utterly cis and perisex-washed? Why do nearly all writers have zero idea that tucking is a thing? “

Doesn’t that answer your original question? The reason they don’t reflect those groups of ppl is bc g!p isn’t trying to represent those groups of people or else it WOULD be transphobic to limit them to one specific fetish right? it just refers to a canonically female character with the addition of a penis (I don’t argue the name “g!p” should be changed bc that’s a no brainer why that could be offensive). But the fanfic in general, how could it be harmful? I’ve noticed in my time reading it as a non binary person it’s given me great gender euphoria reading a reader insert where reader has a penis while being a femme representing person just bc that’s a reflection of my personal experience. I don’t see anywhere where g!p fanfic ever references or tries to emulate the experiences of trans or intersex people so how could it be offensive?

Sorry this is way too long I’m just very confused

I'm going to try and lay this out as politely as I can. It's after 3:30 in the morning here, so this could be a bit disjointed and rambling. More under the cut:

In real life, ~99.999999% of women with penises are trans women. Which puts us in a tricky situation of (A) being the only women with penises around for media involving women with penises to reflect back on, and (B) being in the lovely position of precious few people actually having had meaningful real life exposure to trans women, meaning (C.) all those stigmas and all that misinformation are going to purely affect us and it’s going to be uncritically gobbled up by the masses, since they don’t have any meaningful information to fill in the blanks with instead.

When we peer into the depths of femslash fandoms and see all these folks who aren't trans women writing about women with penises, and using cis women’s bodies as platforms for these penises, it’s the simplest thing.

I mean, some of those folks might actually be struggling and confused about why they’re into it, what the real appeal is, why they get off on it, why they might have some feelings about wanting a penis of their own…

…but from our vantage point, it’s really easy to gauge 99.99% of the time. We can generally see valid, legitimate yearning to have a penis pretty damn easily in a piece of art/writing, and we can also see when people who create this media are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization.

And 99.9% of the time, the creators are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization, and see trans women’s bodies as a perfect vehicle to tap into that, generally due to deeply held cissexist views that link us and our bodies and genitals directly to cis men, to maleness. As if penises are rooted in maleness and masculinity (which is absolutely not true).

And I have sympathy for NB folks (certainly TME ones who have reached out to me in the past about this) who might be struggling with that, but just because they’re non-binary, it doesn’t mean they get to appropriate our bodies and reproduce transmisogyny and trans fetishization in their attempts at feeling better. Shit doesn't work like that.

Because again, the only women with penises in this world, essentially, are trans women. Meaning any woman with a penis in media is a trans woman, implicitly or explicitly. Meaning that when people who aren’t us want to write us, intent doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if it’s just the writer’s fantasy, it’s still going to attach a variety of messages directly onto us.

And more often than not, due to cissexism, those messages are linking us to maleness, to toxic masculinity, etc..

While I do want to believe they're a fairly small minority, a lot of NB folks in fandom spaces like g!p characters in part because they see penises as male and the rest of the body as female and think that duality is interesting and would be comfortable, and is a nice balance of “both worlds” or a nice position “between male and female”, but that’s a wholly cissexist, transmisogynistic view to have, and it’s one that absolutely cannot be supported without directing sexual violence against trans women and invalidating our entire existence. Certainly not all NB folks into g!p like it for that reason, but holy shit a fair bit of them do and it’s weird and wrong and fetishistic.

g!p emerged from the idea that women can't have penises, and drew on the transmisogyny and cissexism of tr*nny porn to structure that frame of desire and the core patterns and trends within these works. It's always been trans women's bodies being used as a vehicle, whether or not the writers of these fics are explicitly aware of it, because the trope itself still holds true to its original patterns and cissexism. It's not the name that's the problem, it's the content; changing the name would be a surface level change that wouldn't affect anything.

g!p objectifies women with penises (trans women). A woman with a penis is more than just a woman with a penis, but the use of the term and trope is literally to (A) remind people that women don't have penises, otherwise the g!p term wouldn't be needed if people actually accepted women with penises as women, and that (B) this is a story centered on a scenario where there's a woman with a penis, with key focus on that genitalia specifically. it's the drawing point, it's the lure, it's what everything is centered on. It is a means for folks to write lesbian sex while also writing about penis in vagina and getting off to it. It's also no surprise that the penises so clearly emulate cis men's penises in these works, that is by design.

As I’ve said many times before, if you’re only writing trans women’s bodies to showcase cis men’s penises, you’re not respecting the womanhood of trans women, and this ultimately has nothing inherent to do with penis-owning women, it has to do with (cis) men and their penises, because trans women are just being used as a vehicle to emulate them. When NB folks do the same thing, and imagining themselves as those g!p characters, they are ultimately embodying cis men, their maleness, and often toxic masculinity, in a way that feels safe and distanced enough for them, a shell that they often code as cisnormative due to their own unprocessed cissexism.

And trans women don’t deserve that.

You seem caught in the idea that if something doesn't directly perfectly reflect trans women, that it can't be linked to us., which ignores the long long history of media being used to misrepresent marginalized peoples and cast us in insulting, dehumanizing lights. You show a lack of understanding of the g!p trope and the long history of its usage across a few other names, even if the content and patterns remained the same. It shows a lack of understanding of tr*nny porn and transmisogynistic stigmas, which the trope draws heavily from.

I think we can all recognize that most 'lesbian' prn that's made does not represent actual lesbians, it's overwhelmingly catered to the male gaze. We can also recognize that this category of porn has led to a lot of harassment towards lesbians from cis men who at the very least want to believe lesbians are just like they are in the porn he watches, that lesbians just need the right man. Lesbians are being used as a vehicle for a fantasy that was created externally to them, and doesn't represent their realities.

It's the same kind of situation here. The way g!p fics play out overwhelmingly doesn't reflect trans women's realities, but they are inherently linked to us regardless, as we're the vehicles for those fantasies, as unrealistic and harmful as they may be.

g!p characters are built in our fetishized image that’s based on a deeply cissexist misunderstanding of us, of the gender binary, and of bodies in general.

I mean, when 99% of cis folks don’t understand how trans women tend to be sexually intimate… when they don’t understand what dysphoria is and how it works and how it can affect us physically and emotionally…when they don’t understand almost any of our lived experiences…then they’re not going to be able to accurately portray us even if they wanted to.

And I’ve read enough g!p fics where authors wrote those as a means of trying to add trans rep, but because they didn’t understand us at all, it wasn’t remotely representative, and it was ultimately fetishistic, even if there was an undercurrent of sympathy and a lack of following certain common g!p patterns there that differentiated it from the norm.

If g!p fics were at all about reducing dysphoria or finding euphoria, then it wouldn’t be explicitly tied up in the performance of very specific sex acts, very specific forms of misogyny and toxic masculinity, very specific forms of sexual violence and exertion of sexual power, etc.

But it is.

So the notion that creating g!p fics helps NB folks? Nope. It CAN certainly prevent/delay those folks from facing a whole boatload of shit they’ve internalized, and coddle them at the expense of trans women.

Because if it was really about bodies and dysphoria/euphoria, there would be a considerable push (allying with out own) to end our fetishization and to represent us in and out of sexual contexts with accuracy, respect, and care. Because they wouldn’t care what sex acts were performed and what smut beats were hit, they’d just want to see someone with a body like their ideal being loved, being sexual, connecting, being authentic, etc. Which very much is not the case in the overwhelming majority of g!p fics. That's what we want, and it's not what g!p writers want, it's nothing they give a shit about.

Like, a ways back I started doing random pulls of g!p fics from various fandoms and assessing them for certain elements to provide some quantitative clarity. I started on The 100 here, and did OuaT here. Never finished the 100 one since the results leveled out and stayed pretty consistent as the sample size grew, so I didn't really see the point in continuing any further after about 140 fics when the data wasn't really changing much at all.

Lastly, media influences people. I've read countless posts and comments from people who use fanfiction as a sex ed guide, in essence. Which is ridiculous, but I also know sex ed curricula often isn't very accurate or extensive in a lot of areas, so people take what they can get. Representation in media can be powerful, and when it overwhelmingly misrepresents people, that's also powerful. Just because fandom is a bit smaller than televised media, it doesn't make that impact any lesser, certainly not for those whose primary media intake is within fandom.

Virtually all trans representation in f/f fanfiction is misrepresentative of us. That has a cost in how people understand us, how people react to us, and how people treat us. Not just online, but in physical spaces, and in intimate settings.

I invite you to read that post you referenced again, or perhaps this longer one which is a response to a trans guy who seemed to feel something similar to you with this trope.

All I can do is lay it out there and try to explain this. It's up to you how you handle this. All I know is whenever there's a big surge in g!p in a fandom, trans women generally leave it en masse, because it's a very clear and consistent message that we're not valued, respected, and that people value getting off on us over finding community with us.

[mcfiddlestan]

Ship ask game: Loki/Tony, Tony/Bucky, Bucky/Loki.

Loki/Tony - Ship it

1. So, when Avengers came out I was on Twitter A LOT. I followed a lot of fellow Marvel fans and discovered the exciting world of Twitter RP. I started following a bunch of Tony Stark and Loki accounts (among others, but they were my fave characters after Avengers. Also shout out to Loki-Motion and Ant-Man!! I miss you.). One Tony Stark I followed was named @_Chaotique, and he was partnered with a Loki (can’t remember the name). Following their “romance” made me start shipping Frostiron and I went looking for more Frostiron stuff. By August (Avengers came out in April), I was writing my first Frostiron fanfic and my phone was full of Frostiron pix and edits. I was obsessed! Fun fact: I still am. Lol. Plus, I started talking to the writer of Chaotique through PMs, we struck up a friendship, were a couple for nearly four years, and he remains one of my closest friends today.

2. Obviously the whole enemies to lovers thing is always fun, but when people ask why I ship it I always point out how Tony and Loki have a similar story that just took different paths. They both have daddy issues and sense of self issues. Tony struggles with living in the shadow of his father, Loki struggles with living in the shadow of his “golden child” brother. They’re both super intellectual, sarcastic, and witty (the verbal battles omg), and there’s a lot to explore with them together and separately regarding the masks they wear with everyone and the front they put on, and the amount of vulnerability underneath.

3. Idk if it counts as an unpopular opinion, but I’m not a fan of fics that make Loki out to be weak-willed and kind of a simp. The characterizations that make him this person that constantly needs to be rescued whether by Tony or Thor really miss the mark for me. Yes, he can be blind to his faults and his flaws, but he doesn’t need someone else to baby him.

Tony/Bucky - Ship it

1. I don't even know what got me started on this ship. I don’t think it was until Civil War that I started and I’m pretty sure it was fanart that got me started. I haven’t read much fanfic, just little snippets of stuff on Tumblr, and my venture into RPing them was very short. It’s a very minor ship for me but one I totally want to get into more and write fic on it (I do have a Security Guard AU I’m working on for these boys tho).

2. Like I said, I haven’t delved too deeply into this ship just yet. So, so far the only thing I really like about it is it’s two of my favorite characters and two of my favorite male actors being paired together.

3. No, not really.

Bucky/Loki - Ship it

1. Um...I love villains. And don't give me the “Bucky is not a villain blah blah blah.” Yeah, I know. But for the majority of CATWS, yes he was! And I was shipping and writing Winterfrost before that movie came out. The writer of Chaotique created a Winter Soldier to RP in summer 2013 and I created a post-Avengers/pre-Dark World Loki to pair with him. There’s something very intriguing about two dark souls finding each other and simultaneously healing each other while also lowkey (haha) indulging in their dark sides. Like, we literally wrote a scene about a discussion and comparison of knives turning into some hot sex. But also, when it came to our RP at least, there was a lot to be explored with Loki, an anti-hero who has come to terms with his issues and is already on his journey to healing, helping Bucky, arguably an antihero himself who is just starting to come to terms with his trauma. Not unlike Frostiron, Loki and Bucky have an understanding of what each has been through and there’s a bond there.

2. Like I said, I like villains. I like darkness. I like unconventional love stories. Winterfrost is full of that. There is an underlying darkness to the Winterfrost relationship that could be explored. I wrote a fic, one of my first Winterfrost ones, called Can I Bum A Ride? which was basically porn with some plot (and written off a prompt from a Tumblr friend). The story is basically Loki picks up hitchhiker Bucky in a downpour, they stop at a motel for the night (*gasp* there’s only one bed!), and get it on. There was a moment where I considered writing a sequel that found them going down a not-so-wholesome path. Like, a path that pretty much turned them into road-tripping serial killers. For various reasons I didn’t, but I feel like they are two characters that lend themselves pretty easily to that dynamic.

3. Not really. It would be the same as the Loki/Tony one. But that’s really more a complaint about how people write Loki than anything else. And that’s just my opinion! I don’t comment on people’s fics just to tell them they suck at writing Loki or anything. Everyone is allowed their own interpretation -- I’m sure I’ve written something in a way people didn’t like. In fact, I *know* I have bc they actually did comment. If I don’t like it, I hit that back button and find something else to read. Easy peasy.

Thanks for asking!

Send me more on the Ship meme!

[tears-and-lilies]

Halfway there

I wrote fanfic for @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi‘s Brody story!

Consider this an AU where Mason has a janitor named Gloria. Mason doesn’t seem like someone who loses his patience easily, and as the tags say “Mason is good at his job”, so pushing his limits with Glorien Gloria was fun :)

(Tagging @starnight-whump because you wanted to be tagged for Gloria)

CW: pet whump, dehumanization, recapture, conditioning, whumper’s pov at the ending, electric shocks

***

Nights were long, days were slow. But it was clear this was what he needed to go through, take what he got. Brody hadn’t thought about the cramps form the cuffs on his wrists or the sting from the muzzle on his face in a while. He wasn’t used to it, but wondered how long that would last.

Footsteps approached.

‘Good morning, Brody.’

He went to his knees, a reflex. No, it wasn’t this was forced into his head.

‘Good morning, Trainer.’

***

Mason wasn’t doing anything. Brody did his best to sit absolutely still, but this he hated.

Pets don’t have opinions.

What do you think, ˈɛvən?

His head flinched, and immediately his eyes darted towards Mason. He was strumming on the keyboard of his laptop. For a brief moment, he thought he saw the corner of the man’s mouth lift. But when he looked again, there was nothing.

But flinching was allowed, right? He wouldn’t be punished for it, would he?

How could he know what Mason wanted? Just be good, behave, and there would be no pain. He was anxious today, a constant lack of sleep probably caused some of it. Just sit still, be good, and this will go over.

The door to the office startled him when it swung open. A man walked in, holding a broom and a cart with cleaning supplies. Upon seeing Mason, he pressed his lips together.

‘Hey! I’m cleaning this room!’

Mason closed his laptop, then leaned back, half turned towards the man.

‘I have work here. I’m in the middle of training’, he said calmly.

The man frowned. ‘Huh? On the schedule it says this room is free, ‘cause training starts in an hour.’

‘Training is now. Your schedule might be off.’

‘No it’s not.’

Brody looked from one to the other, confused about what was going on. He whined as the man pulled the cart into the room, almost hitting him with the broom.

‘You’re not supposed to be here. So could you please-’

‘Well I’m here now.’ He tucked a strand of his dark hair behind his ear as he wet the broom.

‘But I’m not leaving, so this might make your job harder’, Mason tried, his voice patient.

‘Nah, I’ll manage.’ The man focused on the floor.

Briefly, Brody’s eyes made contact with the man’s. Instantly he looked down. A stranger? He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to interact with him.

Mason had gotten up, and placed his hand on the man’s shoulder. The man stepped away.

‘Sir! I’m cleaning!’

‘And I told you not to…’ Mason looked at a little tag on the man’s overalls, ‘Gloria. I’ll give the landlord your name when I talk to him this afternoon.’

‘He already has my name?’ Gloria tilted his head. ‘Anyway. Continue your business and I’ll continue mine.’

***

‘Why does the training consist of literally doing nothing?’, Gloria asked after a while.

‘I know what I’m doing’, Mason responded. ‘You don’t have to worry about it.’ He took a sip from his cup. A person drink with a nice smell.

‘Does he know what you’re doing.’ Gloria nodded at Brody.

Brody shrunk in response. Was he supposed to know?

‘He’s a pet.’

‘Can I pet him?’

He couldn’t help the feeling of hope inside of him. Even if the man was wearing gloves to clean, it was at least someone else.

No, no, no. People don’t light up when they get offered to be petted.

But he did. What made him that?

Mason took a moment before he responded. ‘Yes. Go ahead.’

Brody trembled, scared eyes alternating to look at the trainer and the janitor. Was he really-? But, but…

The slight weight on his head gave him goose bumps. He couldn’t help it, he really couldn’t. In the end, he was and would always be a pet. He closed his eyes.

Two pats on the head and that was is. He looked at the janitor. Gloria didn’t look pleased, but instead pulled the corner of his mouth back, the beauty mark next to it touching his cheek. Then he shrugged.

‘Okay, whatever.’ He went back to cleaning, gently tapping a foot against Brody’s knee to make him move aside.

He did, hoping he had been good.

***

Brody hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, he was making progress. But there was one thing he realised.

With Brody’s reaction to physical touch, it would be easy for him to be persuaded by others to leave his owner.

‘Brody, there’s something you don’t quite understand.’

He waited a while as he watched the boy anxiously figure out what he meant. This was good, he was willing to learn.

‘If you are confused, you can ask me’, he reminded him.

Brody whimpered. ‘What- what don’t I understand, Trainer?’

‘You don’t have to please everyone. Not everyone wants you. If they did, they would have bought you, right?’

He walked towards his desk and reached out to the remote. He heard breath catch behind him, quiet, but it was there.

‘Do you think the people who ruined you wanted you?’ He turned around. ‘You can answer.’

‘Umm… no, no, Trainer.’

Tears appeared in the corners of his eyes. He was still confused.

‘No, they didn’t. If they wanted to help you, you wouldn’t be here. They wouldn’t have done this to you.’

He walked slowly back towards the pet.

‘Do you think the janitor wants you?’

‘No! No, Trainer.’

‘If you know that, then why were you trying to please him?’

The boy’s face was pale. His lips trembled, searching for the answer as reality dawned on him.

‘Do I want you?’, Mason asked.

‘No.’

He smiled. ‘No, I don’t. I don’t want to see you here, because it means you’re broken and I have to fix you. No one likes broken things, do they?’

‘No, Trainer.’ Tears were now flowing.

Mason’s thumb hovered over the button on the remote. In the same, calm tone, he continued: ‘Then stop thinking that they do.’

A slight movement and Brody fell to the floor, his body tensing and his mouth gasping.

He was halfway there.

[autumnslance]

Is Avergent a original Character? I assume so but I was wondering where she was during heavensward?

She is original! Made up for this prompt response.

This is one of those times where not being too stringent with possible backstory for an OC can be both a blessing and curse. I discover new things about my OCs through writing over time; while I have a good idea of the basics of their backstories--where they're from, the general shape of their family and relationships with them, major moments/events--some things take form over time, in a sort of discovery through writing, more lore knowledge, and good ideas cropping up. Usually it's easy enough to slot in; rarely do I retcon things for a better idea had later, though it can happen.

I didn't "realize" Aeryn's father was a heretic until last year's (2020) FFXIV Write. Until then he was a nameless farmer who had been lost in a dragon attack as Nidhogg's Horde made its way to Ferndale, hitting up a few other targets along the way. The "Paternal" prompt took some thinking, musing, and ideas, and I ended up free writing about two dad-like figures in Aeryn's life (among the many in this Game of Dads), Alberic and X'rhun.

I've already written a few things about Aeryn's stepfather Tanzel (and am looking forward to more inspiration come EW when we finally get to Thavnair), but had never really written anything about Corran before last year's FFXIV Write--he didn't even have a name until that prompt, and had only briefly been seen in "When Everything Changes", the freebie writing I did that year, too, detailing how little Zaine reacted to Aeryn's birth, and from that boyish perspective.

So suddenly I had a story that "fit" into what very little Aeryn actually knew; she was five years old when Corran died and Emelia took her children back to Thavnair. I had mentioned in previous writes about Aeryn’s memories of the incident that she did, in fact, first meet Alberic then, but as the Azure Dragoon and he scared an already upset little girl. It ties them together further, especially since while Aeryn is a very good Dragoon, she's set aside the lance in favor of red magic.

I always knew I wanted Aeryn to be Coerthan in order to "justify" to myself why she can Dragoon beyond just "the WoL is special." In thinking of the prompt for yesterday, I thought back to how Aeryn is a child of both Coerthas and Thavnair, initially thinking maybe something where she was bullied for being mixed ethnicity, but I didn't really want to go there, either (I touch on it in her background, it affects her, and while I know about being bullied for other reasons, I'm too white to really wanna delve into that particular reason for fanfic). But it got me thinking about her backstory, and what I learned about Corran through that writing, and how it had to have gotten to that point where he did transform to fight Alberic.

As for where Avengret was during Heavensward? Where she is now? Not sure yet, but she may turn up again! She literally didn't exist in my mind until last night when I wrote the story. We'll see what the rest of the prompts this month do, and beyond to future writing and needing to give Aeryn some angsty revelations.

[silverutahraptor]

1, 10, 20 for the fanfic writers ask 👀

... did you choose the questions that have long answers on purpose 🤣 Thanks for asking!❤️

1. When did you start writing?

There are several answers to that. I've been daydreaming and making up different endings about books I've read, films I watched, etc. ever since I can remember. I discovered and occasionally wrote—but never finished and very rarely posted—fanfics in my early teens. Then there was the Depression Gap (affectionately and derogatory) that pretty much encompassed all my later high school years and most of my time at Uni: I read a lot of fanfics (I can't stress this enough: A LOT) and also thought a lot about my own ideas, but I literally never wrote anything down ever. Then last year I finally dipped my toes back into actually writing. So the most accurate answer for "when did I seriously start writing my own fics" is probably: last year! (Wow, that doesn't sound like much haha.)

10. Origin of your username?

Hah. Fair question 🤣 Okay so. Buckle up. Once upon a time I used to be rather obsessed with Yu-Gi-Oh! and especially monsters like the Blue-Eyes White Dragon and Red-Eyes Black Dragon. You see where this is going? XD Teen!me decided to use usernames on the shiny Internet that were all some variation of "color/adjective + (optional second adjective) + dragon" and then I did that for several years straight. My favorite colours for this were "silver" and "gold", by the way. But. You see. I also really like dinosaurs, and the Utahraptor is a really cool dinosaur. So at some point I changed the dragon part to Utahraptor. Then there was a brief period where enter Marvel and my obsession with CA: The Winter Soldier—my username back then consequently being thewinterutahraptor. I got tired of the "thewinter-" part pretty soon and eventually choose "silver-" instead because yes, some of my old "NEVER USE YOUR REAL NAME ON THE INTERNET" email addresses still start with "silver-" and that was easy to remember.... And then I got more active in fandom and now everyone is either calling me Silver or Raptor so I can never change my name again RIP.

20. Do you write in your native language?

No! Never. I almost exclusively read English fiction (and academic papers for Uni) as well as watch movies and TV series in English, so it's very easy for me to just stay in the language and very difficult to write in German instead. I tried to just read German Naruto fics once and it physically pained me. (I think teen!me was writing in German though.) ...Also, a while back a friend told me "hey, your writing is good in English, that means your writing in German must be AMAZING" and I just— No. God no. Absolutely not.

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 46:

What does your editing/revision process look like?

GREAT QUESTION LOL (ʘᴗʘ✿)

It's a mess. It's a god damn shit ass mess. I can slam down 1k words in an hour if the mood strikes but I will, without question, second guess the everliving fuck out of every last word.

So I write a scene and then spend like 1 week minimum nitpicking it.

Editing fanfic! Its a thing I do until it makes me literally sick. Sometimes I know I'm done with something when I just can't fucking stand to read it anymore. Holy hell you guys just don't have any idea how heavily edited all of my work is.

The method is: draft first, fix later.

So usually my WIPs are stuffed into Tumblr's drafts thing. And I pick at them a few minutes at a time, multiple times a day.

While I'm at work

When I get home

Before bed

When I wake up

When I'm taking a shit

You know, downtime lol

In fact I often start editing the work before I even finish writing all of it.

The number one thing I find myself doing when I'm revising work, is taking the second half of a phrase/sentence/paragraph and cut/pasting it in front of what was once the first half. I don't know why but most of the time, when I rearrange words like this, I like them better.

I also keep the fucking thesaurus handy. Because I'm not confident in my vocabulary. One of the shitty things about writing a lot of smut is this oppressive feeling of "sameness" that permeates each work. It's all smut. Mouths, hands, genitals, sensations, feelings, intimacy. There are only so many words to describe how it feels to be touched. And I don't want to reuse the same idioms from scene to scene cause then it just feels like "I wrote the same smut but remixed." I'm trying to incorporate a heavy focus on dialogue these days and that's helping a lot, but wordplay is challenging when you're writing oral sex for the third time in two months. At that point I often find myself banging out a non smutty scene just to like, loosen up a little.

Side note: I found this "sexy thesaurus" online that listed "heart of her arousal" as a way to say vagina and I'll be honest I've never heard this one and I really love it so yeah expect to see that more lmao

And one of the biggest things I do when I'm editing is distance. I have to take breaks from the work, to write something else, or just to do anything else at all. Sometimes I read other fanfics which is a double edged sword because it's inspiring but also makes me think "fuck why didn't I think of that???" But I'm trying to distance myself from the notion that I can't "borrow" from other works. I can borrow. Borrowing a "train of thought" is not plagiarism. Borrowing one word used near another word is not plagiarism. If I don't try out new words, I will never grow as a writer.

And don't even get me started on dialogue. It's funny because I find Shepard's character a pain to write but her dialogue is very easy for me. She speaks with my voice (not literally but in terms of words). Thane I find easy to identify but harder to dialogue. I revise his words a lot. There's a fine line between his ample vocabulary and his direct way of speaking. For instance in Taste of Victory, I revised these lines at least five different ways:

"What do you hope to gain by poring all night over strategic data?" - I struggled with what exactly Shepard was looking at. I wanted her to be doing some small, pointless thing that made her feel like she was still contributing to the war while tired as fuck, but I didn't want to use the words "war assets."

"The whole galaxy could be on to us and I could not find it in myself to care." - I wanted him to say "I have no fucks to give" in the most Theloquent way possible. I just made up the word Theloquent - Thane + Eloquent. I'll see myself out LMAO

"Ah, the legend herself, assassinated in the fortified heart of her own warship?" - this line was originally way too long. I wanted to keep the words 'legend,' assassinated,' and 'warship.'

Thane in particular is very easy to "overdo," in my opinion. It's easy to put too many big words in his mouth and even easier to tack "Siha" on to every single line of dialogue. In my headcanon, he calls her Shepard just as often, usually saving Siha for more private moments but not always. Actually he sometimes calls her "Dess" too, as a shortened version of "December" (thank you spookyvalentine for that nickname!) but I don't use my Shep's name as a general rule. But yeah I don't want Thane to sound like a thesaurus.

The absolute hardest thing is second guessing the "plot." I'm dealing with a lot of that now. If I change an idea for something that hasn't been written yet - while simultaneously working on a scene that comes AFTER that event - oh my god it just makes my stomach flip with anxiety. I could fix this by actually writing in a linear fashion. But that's so fucking hard to do lmao. That's one reason I haven't finished my long ass WIP yet. I'm happy with the interlude scene but I keep thinking I want to slow burn it more - it's important because both Shep and Thane make direct references to events that happened previously. Events that I haven't written yet. This is me clutching my fucking head in my hands and screaming into a pillow lmao (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

So TLDR my editing process is extremely nonlinear, time consuming, and exhausting. I have this ingrained idea that "there's always room for improvement." But often by the time I'm done editing I can't see what's good about the work anymore. I know which moments I like but I can't see it from an objective standpoint anymore. Coming back to fanfic after years was an incredible experience because it was the first time I ever read my own work from a completely clueless perspective. It gave me inhuman confidence to write again, and I have to remember that because I'll second guess myself into the ground if I'm not careful.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I should maybe try and calm down a bit lol