#back and better than ever >:D
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Sorry that I've been on a bit of a hiatus recently! Some important stuff came up and I wasn't in a good head space. Still struggling with the latter but I think I'm doing better now. I've been busy playing Side Order in the meantime and preparing for a performance coming up! Please let me know if you have any art suggestions or things!
#particle rambles#end of hiatus#unannounced hiatus#sorry for being gone#back and better than ever >:D#also about the Wilbur Soot shit#I don't support him or what he did#unfollowing him here and anywhere else#if you don't know what's going on there's a few vids on YouTube explaining it#essentially he was dating Shubble and things got a bit out of hand with biting on his end#send support to Shubble pls#side order#also lmk if you want me to talk about anything
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Artist creator!reader who is able to add things to genshin by drawing. Tevyat is thier muse,and they make sure ato always add the most beautiful things. And if they end up drawing something scary...
Well,I'm sure the people of tevyat can handle it. :)
#sagau#yooo guess whos back#mists multiverse#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#sagau genshin#genshin cult au#im back#and better than ever°#ive been so busy#also#who are yall pulling gor in 3.6?#im pulling for baizhu and Kaveh :D
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Destined to lose an eye in every timeline (Patreon)
Bonus alt:
#Doodles#Helix#Coraline#Blood#Yippee <3 Eye horror <3#I said I'd do it and I did it! Oops??? Lol#It was too fun and too fitting of an idea to just Not do it I had to - he always loses an eye! That's just the rules!#Coraline being PG means we never see any blood but like... Yes the Beldam is magic But Like..........#I really do love the idea of him making the impulsive decision - getting so close to a total yes - and only the pain snapping him out of it#Boy just doesn't learn without The Worst consequences! <Doesn't actually believe that but I must mean to him ♥#Him being alone and locked up inside the mirror until he ''comes to his senses'' and agrees to be a good son hough <3#Just wants the pain to stop! But if one hurts this much what would two be like? But then he'd get everything promised him right?#Hmm ♪#But then Dex comes to the rescue! Yaay <3 Definitely not mutually traumatic or anything :)#Especially if there really was a magical element that was keeping the wound ''healthy'' (ever-bleeding without running out of blood? Hmm)#And then as soon as they step back into the real world they get to deal with the consequences#We never see what would've happened to a false start! I mean it's very gory it makes sense haha#And the fake snow melts like real snow... Could go any number of ways really#Maybe for the happiest ending once they get out together Max's eye is all better! :D Or healed Enough but still unusable :0#Could got the xxxHolic route and Dex gives up half his eye to Max so they only have three eyes' worth of strength between them haha#Neither of them needed glasses before - although I get the feeling Dex would wear contacts even if he did :0 He'd look good in glasses...#Though I think that about everyone haha#Love the little details like Dex calling him Max rather than ''sir'' those particular moments too much ahh <3 <3#And I do like the alt! Bleeding!! ♥ But I think the pace and flow works better with the two expressions separated out :)#Fun fun ♪ Scary fun
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Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".
They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)
I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅
Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂
#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D#I am the cheese god remember?😅#I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses#“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY#And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D#I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together#(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the#“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion#How what they have could never be sullied by#something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son.#'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo#no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that#even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.'#...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then#“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her#catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works.#...#I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D#They are so silly and I love them so much#...I wrote a lot :'D#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#odypen#yahoo!!!#sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane
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I had a draft of about 5 of these results ready to go pre-face reveal but then everything went to shit so just for some closure here are the results (FROM SEPTEMBER!) ^_^
This chart shows the percentage of total respondents who indicated that they mained the people above. This isn't a comprehensive list, with other streamers like SBI, Benchtrio, or other DSMP-adjacent streamers rounding the answers out!
of the 598 people who filled out the survey, 98.5% main one of the people in the above chart, and 92.8% main one or more of the Dream Team.
From this question, it seems like DSMP creators are the main pipeline into dtblr—but a good 40% of us didn't start on the Dream Team side!
We have a good amount of people who came from the Corpse/OTV side of Twitch, and a decent amount of you who have been here a while, since SMPLive :]
A lot of us have been here a long time—66% of us were here before 2021. The vast majority have been here since 2021, a good 93% of us!
I thought it'd be super interesting to see how watching the Dream Team may have changed how we interact with their primary game, and it looks like a majority of us were crafters before and still are! They managed to get nearly a fifth of his audience here into playing as well!
A toast to the loss of most of dtblr's favorite MCC player to watch, something that we definitely mourned when we heard the news. But if you're looking for a new POV to watch, survey respondents put down a wide range of players—just outside these top 8 were Ranboo, Tubbo, Grian, Illumina, Purpled, and Hannah!
Another loss for 6% of dtblr with how this question aged, RIP Trust Issues :( But for the remaining 94% of us, our favorite Drusic is still on streaming platforms. Change my Clothes is only...500k listens away from 67 million listens on Spotify so 👀
Wow ok as this goes on I realize just how many chapters have ended over the last few months but a salute to the 26% of loreheads on dtblr! On to the next chapter :]
Now to a touchy subject...who's in the dteam privs? According to the survey responses, 39% of dtblr is in all three! Interestingly, there are more people who follow Dream's alt than his main. Fair enough, there are enough piss tweets on there to warrant unfollowing it!
Word of mouth and the YouTube algorithm seems to have been the best way for the dteam to get to us—interestingly enough, a good amount of people found out through either Heat Waves the song or through the fanfiction, ranging from it crashing ao3 to commentary YouTubers talking about it on their channels!
Now for some psychic damage, I'm seeing a lot more of RTAH posting on my dash nowadays but here's some solidarity for everyone who may have come from similar backgrounds ^_^
Now for some more history—a vast majority of us came from gaming content backgrounds, and nearly 17% of us were primarily mcyt enjoyers. Personal shoutout to Team Crafted viewers we're holding hands <3
Nearly half of dtblr doesn't consume much Minecraft content outside of the stuff our boys are in, though there's still a pretty large amount of people who watch other SMP's and keep up with the speedrunning scene!
This one is an ode to the lurkers who keep the economy strong—even now you guys are an essential part of dtblr! Same to the 30-40% of people who post the stuff for lurkers and other dtblr members to see. Everyone is important to keeping our little island afloat <3
Now onto Banter, most of dtblr doesn't make time for Banter Wednesdays, but if there's an interesting episode, it seems like the trio will capture our attention :]
Adding some literal variety to our results, I thought it'd be interesting to see what common variety games are our favorites! 95% of us would be tapped in wholeheartedly for Geoguessr or Jackbox streams. On the other hand, Fall Guys and Fortnite are in the middle of the pack, whereas it seems like FPS games are our mortal enemies—62% of us would tap out during Valorant while 46% wouldn't be paying attention to CS:GO.
Onto the topic of shipping, DNF steamrolled every other ship listed to have nearly 86% of responders saying they ship it. That lines up with the follow-up question, where nearly 90% of respondents either have experience with shipping RPF in the past, or have been caught up with DNFer supreme Dream's antics. Otherwise, there was a good distribution of love for most popular ships within DTQK+, with Karlnap, DNN, and Karlnapity leading the pack at around 25% each!
Ever wonder how dtblr is spread out across the globe because of the dash being dead at different times? Well, the vast majority of us are in North America and Europe, with 86% of us being between GMT +4 and GMT -4. Much like our streamers, though, a lot of us have fucked up sleep schedules so time zones aren't as much of an issue LMAO
Next up is a fairly simple one, I had another question that asked for gender but there was, as expected, a lot of variance and nuance that I couldn't fit into a neat graphic. But this one is a fairly simple one to graph so Well here's the 24/7 pride parade Dream mentioned coming in hot, with about 95% of us identifying as LGBT+ or questioning!
I wanted to test out my theory that GNF mains are also biased towards CS/Engineering fields, so I asked what people were studying! There's a pretty big bias towards the arts and humanities around here, but we also have just as many STEM people around, good on dtblr for academic diversity! As for my hypothesis, 22% of people who indicated they were George mains studied some form of CS/Engineering. George mains also made up 70% of all people who studied CS/Engineering. So cheers to my stem kid gnfers o/
Finally, I don't really know the best way to make a graphic for the favorite colors question, but just know that 50% of us chose either green or blue, and it was a near-even 25%-25% split. Great job dnfers, Dream would be proud <3
Thanks for reading! I hope that this was fun to look through, and I'll be posting an identical one for new dtblr soon! Super excited to see how things have changed since Well. anyways. Also wanted to say thank you to everyone who filled it out, reading all your answers was a ton of fun and I got a ton of laughs out of some of y'alls bonus section content and the few joke answers I got throughout <333
#long post#<- under the cut#lyss analyzes#lyss.dtblr#this took 7 months to get back to and then it took me one day of work to finish#LAWL! burnout is a bitch#but we're back I'm good now and better than ever so be on the lookout for the new one#and if you have any new questions you want me to ask shoot me an ask or dm and I'll consider adding it :D
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This might be a hot take(?) but i do like how Eddy become more grumpy as the show went between seasons
Of course he is more mean and kinda more aggressive with his friends.
But i think it's a great way to show how trauma can affect your personality, especially when it comes to physical abuse. Not every child that suffers like that is quiet and shy, some of them can mirror the bad traits of their abuser and they're just as valid to get love and support.
#Eddy's character has to be the most interesting among all the characters i love that ugly short king so much#he does act greedy he lies and he also yells a lot but it so so normal for a kid who suffer abuse from an adult#i found so sad how ppl will tell you he is the worst of the eds just for the way he is#despite the fact he has the WORST situation between the three of them#with all this i'm not defending his behaviour! it's still wrong and he should be better than that but as i said he is a kid!!#this doesn't mean i don't love chill eddy ofc!! but i do think the latter works better for his character arc#idk if he would ever do stuff like therapy but i do think he would reach a point where he is tired of just... being angry#i do agree with the hc that he is not the type of just having one job i do think the little bastard will have multiple part time jobs#he is unable to remain in one thing and he does have curiosity for everything#but aside from all that i just like the idea of him getting away of his family. not in the sense of never speaking to them#but more like... not having to deal with them every day.#that's when i think his more chill yet cheeky self will go back to him ahaha#also he is dating double d ofc#there's no future where i don't see them together giendkdn#don't think they marry or anything. but they would grow old together and Ed lives in the basement#eene
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The Frozen Lake
It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.
About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.
He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.
While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.
That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…
For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.
Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.
“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”
A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.
Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.
“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.
Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.
Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.
“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.
A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”
Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”
“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.
Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”
A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”
That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.
“Still… why did you leave?”
“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”
A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.
“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”
“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”
Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.
Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.
“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.
“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”
“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.
“Why not?”
A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.
“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.
Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”
“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”
“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”
What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.
“Fine.”
“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”
After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.
Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.
Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.
From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.
“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”
A’viloh nodded.
“They do. Thank you very much for these.”
Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”
But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”
“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”
A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.
So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.
“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?
Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.
“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.
“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.
Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”
For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.
Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...
While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.
“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”
Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.
After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”
A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.
“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”
“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.
As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.
The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.
“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.
Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.
But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.
Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.
Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.
With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.
“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.
“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.
Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”
“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”
The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”
A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”
Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”
“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”
Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”
A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”
“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”
He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”
“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”
Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”
“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”
“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.
“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.
“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”
The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”
“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”
Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”
For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.
“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”
Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.
With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”
“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.
“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”
Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”
In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.
He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”
But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”
For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.
And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.
---
inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ffxiv writing#ffxiv screenshots#gpose#Aviloh Tia#Haurchefant Greystone#This ended up sadder than I wanted actually XD#But at least it ends on a good note and thats worth something huh?#I read that poem while I was still writing the last story and thought it fitted A'vi's mood quite well#and that it would be sweet to make him go ice skating although he has no clue what that is and how to do it :D#Did I ever tell you A'vi is his own worst enemy sometimes? I probably did or you figured that out by yourself by now...#If he thinks he can't do something he won't even try#I like to blame that on the expectactions people had for him and which he failed repeatedly but it's probably a bit of a character flaw too#However before late HW it is probably also very easy to talk him into pretty much anything if you have the slightest bit of persuasion skil#oops thats probably a character flaw too... but in this case it is useful at last :D#A'vi will get better soon I promise!#Well obviously he will get worse first for obvious reasons but then he'll get better eventually!#Maybe... I hope... Oh boy I am seriously trying but this sad cat doesn't want to be happy D:#I think getting the Scions back will help a little and so will the happenings of Stormblood I think...#And regarding Haurchefant: I don't think I see this as particularly romantic (I mean from Haurchefant's side maybe given his character)#I should probably make a post one of these days giving some iside look on A'vi's emotions! because it's complicated! XD#he's been alive but not really living for so long now and maybe this near-death-expierence was necessary to make him think about that...#rant over! I'll make a different post another day! this already got out of hand again...#and once again I’m posting this on a Friday! i might just start calling it FanficFriday! which doesn’t mean you get something each week XD
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Being off my meds has finally caused me to fully commit to the "disappear for a month and come back better at art" bit because I literally have nothing else that I wanna do but I got a bunch of Morpho books and art pencils and a sketchbook I've been neglecting
#simon says#see yall in a month#i still need to get the fat and skinfolds book though#i got the main one the muscle one the simplified forms one the clothing one and the mammals one#anyways I decided to commit to this because yesterday I wanted to draw my ocs to make me feel better#and it did not make me feel better because I thought my art looked so bad#and im depressed and unable to do much#but I am able to commit to a bit#anyways see yall in a month#I've been considering doing this for ages but now I have decided im so depressed I might as well make the only thing im doing be art#like for YEARS i have considering doing the 'disappear for a month and go study art a whole bunch and come back better than ever' bit#but now im gonna do it#besides February is a perfect month to do it#it's not a super long month#anyways see ya :D
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#don't you just. fucking. l o v e. it when the first thing in the morning#your d e a r mother does is make you so confused irritated and upset all at once#and has the fucking gall to say “this hurts you more than it hurts me”#and when you start crying#she does what she always does and says “go on keep crying as if that solves anything”#and even when your dad tries to step in she doesn't stop being the utter worst#so you breakdown and she doesn't even realise what the fuck she said and why you got so confused and upset to begin with#and now that everything's over she still hasn't even thought of saying sorry#and thinks that food will make it better#so you're sat at your desk studying but your emotional numbness is just worse than ever#you just feel tired and want to go back to bed but know that you need to get straight As for your dreams to be a reality#so you chug on and tell your dad you're fine and you'll get better over the course of the day#but you know that that's not going to happen and it'll only go away when you wake up the next day#but no one ever cares about the reality of your horrible mental state#so you just go on anyway#yeah#me too.
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I love watching Hannibal so much but I’m also. 60% sure that it’s triggering my hallucinations and paranoia and I just like. Can’t deal.
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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i hope every person who thinks it is okay to declaw a cat dies and goes to hell 🦋
#we finally got buggy back a few days ago#the ppl who were watching her for us were sick so we couldnt get her til later#i missed my cats sm!!! having two cats is so much better than one#theyre besties now :D#but yes if anyone ever hurt my cats especially in such a painful way like declawing i’d kill them on sight#i just read a sad reddit post abt declawed cats and now im distraught
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man.
something midosena never prepared me for was just how comfortable the train seats are
#like. no joke. most (if not all) of them are soft!!!! carpeted!!!!! and comfy!!!!!!!!#and that’s just the regular seats!!!!! the special reserved seats are forward facing and!!!! they even have those little seat tray tables!!!#[insert home country]’s train seats are ruined for me now wtf i used to think that the wide new plastic seats were the best seats ever and—#and the structure of the train is p. great too ngl~~~~ like the seats are positioned a little ways back from the side divider thing#so there’s tons of standing space if you’re unlucky enough to not get a seat#but maybe that’s just my perspective bc the train cabins seem wider than [insert country]’s so maybe i’m too used to the cramped cabins idk#but g o d yes i understand you now midori the seat at the extreme end is the best most comfy seat ever fr#though!!!! another thing that made me 👁️👄👁️ about these trains is that!!!! eating and drinking (on trains) is not prohibited?????#like man. you’d get fined and get photographed + tabloidified in [insert country] if you did that here..#(if you get caught by some weird nitpicker who can’t mind their own business that is.)#but train exchanges are kinda complicated. ye a h. ig that’s one thing i miss about [insert country]’s trains. aside from the train fares.#m a n. train fares are so high here. bus fares too tbh. 170 yen for just two stops and all that..#but!!!! the seats are comfy so they get a pass from me~~~~~~~~~#the buses are tiny and cute thoughhhhh. but the boarding/alighting/fare system caught me off guard. ig i’m too spoiled by [insert country]#all things considered…. it was a really fun trip~~~~~ would’ve been better if i didn’t fall sick right off the bat though lmao#anyways!!!!!! happy kinyoubi my dudes~~~~~~~#inedible blubbering
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i just realized something that connects lalaloopsy, monster high and bratz- they all had reboots in the mid 2010s and came back in their classic forms in the early 2020s! ;D
#the lalaloopsy reboot is liked by fans but i'm meh about it :/#meanwhile people hate the mh and bratz reboots!#i thought mh was ok and didn't like the pics of the bratz one#although i gotta admit the first webisode is funny ;)#i'm glad they all came back better than ever! ;D
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new playlist!!!! and here's the cover if you'd like to see it in (questionably) better detail ⬇️
LORE: i own this sweater in purple, but i thought it paralleled scraptrap's own worn out look if i made it yellow :P (obviously i didn't get to draw the tears in the back but they're so there dude)
#treewords#mossarts#music!!#kga#knight guard au#fnaf au#max afton#once again this is the laziest shading i could ever do but it looks better than it did flat#Spotify#i went back and stuck their enneagram songs up at the top of each so lmk if you think i typed them right :D
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parents had 2 kids within 2 years and then had 4 more inrapud succession i feel like ive been baby trapped
#all jokes aside tho im not doing well with the idea of my brother and i leaving within a year of each other#heard too many horror stories wven from my own family abt what happens to the kids that get left behind#even my dad and thats why he acts how he does#idek if im going to be able to make it back after i leave idk if im going to ever be able to come back idk if theyll take me back#im the oldest so im the first to leave im the first betrayal i have to leave my mom with my dad and my siblings with my parents#ill abandon them and theyll be alone like i was#rjey dont deserve that#but i cant stay i cant stay bc otherwise ill never leave i cantttt#a d perhaps its justified if they never let me come back after i do something like that stil cant decide if its selfish of me to leave bc t#kids need someone on the outside working for them but they need someone on the inside and it looks like my brother is getting out as soon a#s possible and although hes not going far he doesn't understand the dynamic like i do and he cant handle things like i do#i feel like im abt to rip out a gear in a machine yk take smtg from the bottom of the pyramid and watch it tumble#brought to you bymy brother asking me if i can call an admissions rep for him bc im better at phonecalls than him
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