#baby therein lies the issue

[legallydistinctloolooland]

stressed about some fucking circumstances so I'm script-doctoring for the show. Will upload an ao3 link once im done (fuck tumblr for mining our shit for AI) but yeah, spoiler, 99% of it is "i wish the pacing was better" + "hey the Sir Pentious im having sex with EVERYBODY joke should've changed" + "please please PLEASE give Vaggie more to do"

[rpmemes-galore]

taylor swift : reputation album ... sentence starters

"Are you ready for it?"

"No one has to know."

"Call it what you want to."

"I wanna be your end game."

"Is it cool that I said all that?"

"I don't like your little games."

"I'm just gonna call you mine."

"Now all he thinks about is me."

"For you, I would cross the line."

"I let them think they saved me."

"My castle crumbled overnight."

"I'm doing better than I ever was."

"Look what you just made me do."

"But, darling, it's going to be okay."

"Gold cage, hostage to my feelings."

"All my flowers grew back as thorns."

"You should take it as a compliment."

"Touch me and you'll never be alone."

"You and me, we got big reputations."

"Reputation precedes me, in rumors."

"But what can I say? You're gorgeous."

"I don't wanna be just another ex-love."

"Don't blame me, love made me crazy."

"Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share."

"Oh, damn, never seen that color blue."

"They say, 'She's gone too far this time!'"

"I'm yours to keep and I'm yours to lose."

"You've ruined my life by not being mine."

"They fade to nothing when I look at him."

"Say my name and everything just stops."

"Just think of the fun things we could do."

"I never trust a playboy, but they love me."

"Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours."

"So why'd you have to rain on my parade?"

"The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury."

"I'm one call away whenever you need me."

"If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing."

"Do the girls back home touch you like I do?"

"I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me."

"But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom."

"It was the best of times, the worst of crimes."

"Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him."

"This is why we can't have nice things, darling."

"I once was poison ivy, but now, I'm your daisy."

"Only bought this dress so you could take it off."

"You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much."

"I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted."

"The truth is, it’s easier to ignore it, believe me."

"And there are no rules when you show up here."

"I made up my mind, I'm better off being alone."

"If life gets too good now, darling, it scares you."

"Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me."

"I don't regret it one bit 'cause he had it coming."

"Every love I've known in comparison is a failure."

"'Cause for every lie I tell them, they tell me three."

"I'm so furious at you for making me feel this way."

"Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time."

"Younger than my exes, but he acts like such a man."

"He really knows me. Which is more than they can say."

"They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one."

"And therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you."

"You know I'm not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you."

"Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted."

"Some boys are trying too hard, he don't try at all, though."

"Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep."

"They say I did something bad. Then why's it feel so good?"

"I don't like your perfect crime, how you laugh when you lie."

"Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate."

"Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me?"

"My reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me."

"They got their pitchforks and proof, their receipts and reasons."

"This is how the world works: you gotta leave before you get left."

"I've made mistakes and made some choices, that's hard to deny."

"You asked me for a place to sleep, locked me out, and threw a feast."

"You promise people the world, because that's what they want from you."

"We can't make any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink."

"In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do, baby."

"Please, don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere."

"And all at once, you're all I want, I'll never let you go… King of my heart, body and soul."

"I'm sorry, the old (name) can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, 'cause she's dead!"

"I'll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe. Or if you strike out and you’re crawling home."

"There I was, giving you a second chance. But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand."

"I've been breaking hearts a long time and toying with them older guys. Just playthings for me to use."

"And I know I make the same mistakes every time. Bridges burn, I never learn... at least I did one thing right."

[starsscarmyceiling]

have you finished battle scars? 😐

Oh damn nonnie. I mean sit the fuck down and get comfortable because I have a lot of feelings on this. Please keep in mind that these are my opinions and takes. I am not looking to fight or argue. If your experience differs from mine and you have different opinions, you are still totally valid.

Alright my babies, let's get into it...

It’s difficult. I feel like I—well, have a lot of feelings, like I said. And upon further contemplation the more time passes (which I know it’s only been out for like a week and a half, but still), the more aspects of it tend to confuse and baffle me.

Because yes, am I happy there was a Merrical implied ending? I mean, of course. What kind of Merrical shipper would I be if I wasn’t? I guess my main frustrations therein lie with the overall story that was told. Because first of all, I thought the story was kind of weak. But Merrin having her moment and being able to process her trauma? Yes. The Mantis, attempting and sorting out the internal issues amongst them? Yes. Cal, attempting to challenge his beliefs of everything he has been taught within the context of this new galaxy? Yes. Merrin and Cal ultimately choosing to stay with each other because they want to? YES.

I understand why Merrin did what she did throughout the book. She was still in a cycle of heavy depression, and there was a vicious cycle of her not having any source to fill herself back up because one, she never had the opportunity to process her trauma (apparently), and two, nor was there an environment that was actively being fostered for her to do so. The Jedi are known of course, to be in line with that toxic positivity, but what frustrated me was all of the juicy potential that we could have had.

What actually bothered me about her so called “development” is that it happened off screen. It was all like, well just take our word, she is like finding all of these things out over here we promise. Because the whole time she was doing this, it was completely dependent on another character that was not Cal, just some random bitch we don’t care about, instead of coming to these things on her own or with someone she has an actual bond with. The way in which these things came about pissed me off so much because she could have had these moments with Cal, whom apparently she had this amazing developed relationship with, of which we never got to actually see. They went back and forth saying the Mantis crew wasn’t touchy feely, but then talked about how her and Cal had all these long, meaningful conversations…so like…what the fuck were these conversations actually about? They never talked about themselves or their traumas at all???? Merrin literally thinks at one point, up until she met Fret, Cal was the only person she felt like she could share things about herself with…but the way in which this was written really doesn’t make me believe that at all. It was just cheaply done like, lol, well just again trust us that these two people have developed relationship here in the interim. It was like, so unsatisfying to read. At no point did they actually show how and why her and Cal grew to care about one another other than us being told they were. That is what I am truly pressed about.

Also, I truly am not a fan of how Cal’s characterization was handled. I feel like he was just written like he was like seven years old or something. Cal can be awkward and aloof, sure…but I feel like this was just taken too far. Not only did he get cucked (in his own fucking BED; idc I will never get over that), but he also got reduced to a seven year old boy that didn’t have nearly as much depth as he could have had. I liked him questioning his ideology, but I felt like these topics were brought up and not really resolved. When I write Cal, I feel like all of the potential lies in using what has already been given to us. I see Cal as someone who is well versed at understanding people’s emotions, an empath, compassionate, protective, and obviously having such a big heart, especially for those he cares about and loves. And is this because of his psychometry? Or just how he is naturally, who knows it could be a combination of both. Think about it, this is a person that has been experiencing what could be complex adult emotions his whole life. And you’re telling me that he’s still that oblivious? Hmm, I don’t think. And wtf he doesn’t feel that many echoes? Mf was going around that whole game feelings those all the fucking time.

If I could quote a frond, @wayfaringjedi, this was a pretty hot take:

“How much stronger would it have been for Cal to confront that he has to allow her to feel anger to heal, and that anger is a useful emotion

How much stronger would it have been for Merrin to realise that safety exists, that she will not be rejected for being herself or being difficult or being angry, that she has her place

How could it have been for Cal to realise that he had made Merrin feel that he was not a safe person to disclose this to? How would that have challenged his ideology?

Or for Merrin to realise her refusal to try to access peace like Cal does is what alienates her from others?”

And honestly, couldn’t have said it better myself. Like, do you know how many amazing fics I've read out there, where it's Merrin and Cal, getting to have these moments in the engine room? Where it's them having pillow talk and growing closer? God this whole thing really felt like a slap in the face I was not prepared for.

These characters weren’t really handled with care. I didn’t hate the whole book, but I just feel like it just could have been better. I am veryyyyy much interested in what’s going to happen in Survivor, I mean we all are, obviously. I was taking comfort in Merrin saying they were probably never going to see Fret again. I really don’t understand why Fret was there. There is a way to create situations and tension and conflict and making important realizations between them without inserting some random purple bitch. Because istfg, if at some point in Survivor, we have to go like pick up Merrin and she is with Fret, I am going to throw my PS5 out the window and scream and rage in the streets. (Respawnnnnn, I know where you live do not TEST me). I am obviously hoping for canon Merrical, which I do think is a distinct possibility. Because if we don’t, then what the fuck was all of that for?

I feel like BS (heh, aptly named) has suffered the TROS problem of not being able to satisfy anyone lol. Okay because who the FUCK is this book for dude?

Because it’s obviously pissed off all the Merricals. We would have never wanted this.

And it doesn’t really satisfy those who don’t ship either because there is so much Merrical subtext.

But, I mean, I do have to say this book did make me grow to love Greez even more. He was 👑💩 the whole fucking time. Throwing shade at Fret throughout, I was living for it. When he went off on Fret after he woke up from getting his arm cut off, I was fucking eating my popcorn like pop offfff. And I cannot emphasize enough how much I loved Cal in his petty jealous area. Obsessed. He deserves it completely like also go off 👑. Him and Greez were my only bright spots throughout this experience. So glad he got to have his moment too when he "I KNOW HOW IT FEELS!" God I love it. We should all just listen to Greez at all times, like yes please let us drop that Fret bitch off on Batuu with a fruit cake bing bang boom.

I also did enjoy the moments between Cere and Cal together really trying to navigate what it means to be a Jedi in this galaxy in this so entirely dangerous climate for them. Glad Cere is embracing her as a Jedi and using the force again. Totally got the foreshadowing of her being in some kind of archives that we saw in the trailer, preserving the ways of the Jedi. Very fitting for her.

And yesss, there were a few cute moments. Those first two chapters were LIT I gotta say. Like TOGETHER THEY WERE THE LIGHT AND THE DARK CAL WAS THE STAR THAT ILLUMINATED HER SHADOW, that did murder me. And the fucking wound cleaning scene, omfg. I know that murdered ALL of us. Jfc.

I also feel like it would have been a lot more interesting for Fret to just be there to betray them. It would have taught Merrin a lesson of not just diving into something with someone that is entirely based on lust. The fact that she got a redemption was idk…just boring to me I guess. And I know I am biased because I don’t like her, but I mean come on I am a feral fucking Merrical over here is anyone surprised???

Okay lol, have I complained enough? Haha I am guessing you knew what you were getting into anon when you came to my ask box. Lol everyone knows I can never stfu. Anyway, hope that satisfied you.

And hm should you guys be looking out on the horizon for something? Well let’s just say I am definitely using all of these feelings that I have and am putting them somewhere 💅🏻

Anyway, I hope all the Merricals out there are having a great day. Meet me at Applebees and we can cry together 💕💕💕

[eliannnnarrr]

Taylor Swift Lyrics that are SO Rhaenrya Targaryen

part3:

This is why we can't have nice things:

So why'd you have to rain on my parade? I'm shaking my head I'm locking the gates

This is why we can't have nice things, darling Because you break them I had to take them away This is why we can't have nice things, honey Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me? This is why we can't have nice things

It was so nice being friends again There I was giving you a second chance But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand And therein lies the issue Friends don't try to trick you Get you on the phone and mind-twist you And so I took an axe to a mended fence

But I'm not the only friend you've lost lately, hm hm If only you weren't So shady

This is why we can't have nice things, darling Because you break them I had to take them away This is why we can't have nice (nice things) Things (baby) honey Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me? This is why we can't have

Here's a toast to my real friends They don't care about that he said, she said And here's to my baby He ain't reading what they call me lately And here's to my momma Had to listen to all this drama And here's to you 'Cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do I can't even say it with a straight face

Don't blame me:

I've been breakin' hearts a long time And, toyin' with them older guys Just playthings for me to use Something happened for the first time In the darkest little paradise Shakin', pacin', I just need you

For you, I would cross the line I would waste my time I would lose my mind They say, "She's gone too far this time"

imgonnagetyouback :

And I'll tell you one thing, honey I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean Standing at the bar like something's funny, bubbly Once you fix your face, I'm goin' in

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or Gonna smash up your bike, I Haven't decided yet But I'm gonna get you back

Whether I'm gonna curse you out or Take you back to my house, I Haven't decided yet But I'm gonna get you back

I, I hear the whispers in your eyes I'll make you wanna think twice You'll find that you were never not mine

imgonnagetyouback:

Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray (fadin' into gray) We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game (oh) Told my friends, "I hate you but I love you just the same" Pick your poison, babe I'm poison either way

Whether I'm gonna flip you off or Pull you into the closet I haven't decided yet But I'm gonna get you back

Picture to burn:

And if you're missing me, you'd better keep it to yourself 'Cause coming back around here would be bad for your health

Better than Revenge:

Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did Ha, time for a little revenge

Karma:

You're talking shit for the hell of it Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant You're terrified to look down 'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare Of everyone you burned just to get there It's coming back around

And I keep my side of the street clean You wouldn't know what I mean

I bet you think about me:

But now that we're done and it's over I bet you couldn't believe When you realized I'm harder to forget than I was to leave And I bet you think about me

[disneyswiftpolls]

Vote for Moana here (closes Thursday, 1/4)

Submit Song Suggestions for Namaari, Sisu, or Mirabel

Info Post with Winners

"Bad Blood" from 1989 (Taylor's Version)

Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted Did you have to ruin What was shining? Now it's all rusted Did you have to hit me Where I'm weak? Baby, I couldn't breathe And rub it in so deep Salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me

"Safe & Sound" from Red (Taylor's Version)

I remember tears streaming down your face When I said I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said don't leave me here alone But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

"Soon You'll Get Better" from Lover

And I hate to make this all about me But who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do If there's no you? This won't go back to normal, if it ever was It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because 'Cause I have to

"This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" from reputation

It was so nice being friends again There I was giving you a second chance But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand And therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you Get you on the phone and mind-twist you And so I took an axe to a mended fence But I'm not the only friend you've lost lately (mmm-mmm) If only you weren't so shady This is why we can't have nice things, darling Because you break them, I had to take them away

[landograndprix]

heyyyy 🙋🏻‍♀️

i hope you're doing well and i'm back with my comments on feel the magic part vii:

P1 damn baby 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 (yes to the playlist pleaseee i love listening to playlists that authors make when I'm reading their books (and that song actually mad e,e tear up 🥹😭) )

the fact that Lando was that happy for her makes my heart very very happy (we all want a supportive significant other) also the champagne thing is hot (and did you see him popping the bottle on his thigh- that was so hot 🔥🔥)

Adam being supportive 😍😍

(and because you said Carlos won't be a problem i'm liking the supportive Carlos comment)

And to quote my favourite singer, Milou and y/n are givin, 'And therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you, get you on the phone and mind-twist you' (This is why we can't have nice things by Taylor Swift (such a good and underrated song imo)

Lando is shooting his shot again in the comments which we love (and Max being supportive as well) and Lando's story 😍😍😍😍😍

lol Lando has her phone BUT DAILY???? (good for them babes) 'We actually trust each other' MY HEART

that text message actually isn't suprising me anymore i'm just open to see what else she will pull

-overcaffeinated anon

I'm doing well, hope you're doing well too!

omw to make some playlists 🏃

We love a supportive boyfriend (& ex boyfriend 👀)

have to listen to some Taylor songs soon, they're giving fanfic material 😂

nah but that's big mouth lando speaking, girlie's not getting at it every single day, I mean they're athletes, stamina is probably high but girlie needs a breather lmfao she'll hit him with the "put it back in your pants my guy, give it a break" 😂 imagine getting raw dogged every. single. day.

[spacesenku]

Hi! Are there any taylor songs that you think are neymessi coded? For me, ney is very this is me trying (also, i’ve cried thinking about a midnight rain edit of ney leaving barca and leo) 😭

Oh Anon, you can't possibly imagine how lovely this ask is and HOW much i connected Taylor's song to Neymar and Leo, so thank you! (and sorry because this is going to be a long post)

Starting with Neymar, i think Anti Hero is HIS song.

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser  Midnights become my afternoons  When my depression works the graveyard shift All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room.

This first verse right there screams Neymar from all povs.

But then our Taylor continues and says:

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me At tea time, everybody agrees I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.

This whole song is so Neymar core ™ it makes me cry, the whole "hello i'm the problem and i know everybody think so" represent perfectly to me how many times Neymar felt like he was responsible for things that in fact were not his responsability. Not to talk about the "it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero" when WE KNOW it's true because he is the kind of man that roots for anti heroes, i just can't. (the perfect caos indeed).

Another song I associate with Ney is "This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things", and it's kinda for the same reasons as Anti Hero:

This is why we can't have nice things, darling Because you break them, I had to take them away Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me? This is why we can't have nice things

It was so nice being friends again There I was giving you a second chance But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand And therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you Get you on the phone and mind-twist you And so I took an axe to a mended fence.

This song can be considered as an hymn for him honestly, and THIS PART:

Here's a toast to my real friends They don't care about the he said, she said And here's to my baby He ain't reading what they call me lately And here's to my mama Had to listen to all this drama And here's to you 'Cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do Hahaha, I can't even say it with a straight face!

Of course this is not to say that Ney isn't a person who forgives, quite the contrary. We know he has such a big heart that he ends up forgiving everyone but i can imagine him trying to make himself more grounded during a discussion (and failing because he loves in a way that is too pure for most people to accept).

Now talking about Leo. I'm 25 now and i follow him roughly since i was 13. I saw all the greatness but i also saw the failures. The tears, the blood and the sweat this man gave to follow his dreams and reach the summit (yeah you know where i'm going with this..) So you can imagine how i felt when i listened to "You're on your own Kid" for the first time. I can proudly say that i instantly thought about Leo's journey. Then the TikTok edits started and i was blown away. This is such a intimate song and it is so beautiful to see so many people associating it with Leo. Another song that to me is heavily Leo themed is "Mastermind" for obvious reasons. And the touch of a hand lit the fuse Of a chain reaction of countermoves To assess the equation of you Checkmate, I couldn't lose

What if I told you none of it was accidental And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me? I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork The dominoes cascaded in a line What if I told you I'm a mastermind? Aaah the way this song makes me cry istg. Then we have "Karma" and Anon let me just tell you THIS song it's like giving a mental blow to all the morons that criticized him during the years. Ask me what I learned from all those years Ask me what I earned from all those tears Ask me why so many fade, but I'm still here (!!!! this verse !!!!) 'Cause karma is the thunder Rattling your ground Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter Karma's gonna track you down Step by step from town to town Sweet like justice, karma is a queen Karma takes all my friends to the summit (this one makes me think of Ney too) Karma is the guy on the screen Coming straight home to me To close this post that reached an unhealty length i'm going to mention the one song that makes me think about THEM as Neymessi, "The Archer". Dark side, I search for your dark side But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here? And I cut off my nose just to spite my face Then I hate my reflection for years and years I wake in the night,I pace like a ghost The room is on fire, invisible smoke And all of my heroes die all alone Help me hold onto you This is a verse that i hold dear to my heart and makes me think SO much about how Leo helped Ney in his early years in Barcelona and how much Ney returned the favor when one of the biggest loves of Leo's life betrayed him. 'Cause they see right through me They see right through me They see right through Can you see right through me? This verse help me lord i'm going to cry on my keyboard while writing. Ah i love them so much i could talk about them for hours. If you read all of this mess i'm sorry Anon but this is basically what i think about Neymessi - Taylor's Version. Thank you so so much for this question, sending you love! <3

[meowzfordayz]

Hey T,

I know you are not feeling great and truly I hope that doesn't linger. Regardless of how you are feeling or how many submissions for your Milestone 15.0 you get please feel free to delete my ask first. By no means do I expect this to be fulfilled and you should concentrate on your health and other prompts first.

🌸Mitsuri Kanroji🌸

SFW

"I love you" (Fluff, new blossoming feelings)

Song: Fall for You Leela James or We Belong Pat Benatar

Thank you darling and happy Valentines day. I hope you are your partner enjoy the day.

MILESTONE 15.0

Hiya !! 😁 ~1.5 weeks later, and I'm ~99% recovered !! 🥳

I appreciate your concern + willingness to alleviate potential pressure on me 🥺, but no worries! In general, I pace myself well, and I def didn't plan to delete your Ask (when hosting events, I typically just write in order of reception) !! 😤🫶🏽

My Valentine's Day was pretty normal 😂 (what w/ it being a Tue lol) — hope yours was alright! 💘

Song Inspo: Not Yet by Brett Young

CW: alcohol

I'm in love with you Mitsuri realizes as you reach for the bottle of rosé, dry fingers brushing her knuckles, your eyes widening as your cheeks fluster.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"Baby," she chuckles, patting your hand before relinquishing the bottle, "You're okay!" tilting her head, tone playful, "Should we give up and-"

"No!" you exclaim, "No wine glasses!" the bottle's neck slender and fragile in the eagerness of your grip, "We drink out of the bottle because we're classy!"

"We're definitely classy," she giggles, watching the rosé slosh precariously, "Don't forget to unscrew the cap this time."

"Heyyy," you pout, sticking out at your tongue, "There's a reason I recap it!" aggressively shaking the bottle, "See!" grin triumphant and smug, "No spills!" flipping it upside down, "M'a genius!"

"Alright genius," she murmurs pleasantly, tamping down alarm, "How about we get the bottle upright and take a sip?" a small sip tacked on silently.

"You think I can't hold my liquor," you scowl, cradling the bottle against your chest, "I'll have you know I've helped drink half of this bottle!"

Aaand therein lies the issue she sighs, endeared smile tugging at the corner of her mouth nonetheless, "I know, love. You're amazing."

"Lemme have one more sip, okay?" you wink, leaning toward her soft, frangipani scent, "Then we can eat snacks and talk 'bout life!"

Her laughter soaks through your clothes, warming your skin, bones straining to partake in the irresistible sensation, a knowing weight in her gaze as she nods slowly.

"One more sip," her voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper, "But only if you pinky promise snacks."

"And talking about life!" you gasp, "What are snacks without life? What is living without snacks?!"

And what is living without you? she sighs again — a gentle, devoted sound. A sound of acceptance and amusement; of adoration and affection.

"I want to kiss you," you hiccup, "Change of plans! Kisses, then sips, then snacks, and talks!"

"Sips?" she blinks, gradually processing your declaration, "I can certainly provide kisses," heartbeat quickening at the thought, "But there shall be no sips for you."

"You're no fun!"

Humming teasingly, she carefully pries the bottle from your now inattentive grip, setting it aside with a lazy thud, "My kisses are no fun?"

"Your kisses are fun," you huff, eyes rolling impatiently, "But limiting my sips? Not so fun!"

"Sweetie," she snorts, "You're cut off."

"On Valentine's Day?!"

"Especially on Valentine's Day."

[ghost-proofbaby]

and therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you, get you in the phone and mind twist youuuu!! These two are such reputation vibes and I love it so much 😍 I actually love that song as well, but I don't think many other people do.

Full disclosure, I would have put money on Eddie bringing in the big guns and asking Nancy to bring her back. But its Steve! And he didn't even ask! And it needed to be Steve. This was a great choice. He started the whole thing, it's right that he came full circle with them as well. And then him straight away offering himself as the bad guy and telling her to just fix it, he's so precious.

I like that she doesn't immediately spill every detail to Steve, and even when she does say something, it's not the ins and outs, she keeps their time mostly between them and it's so important. because their entire time knowing eachother has had their group in the background and they need some time of their own that's private. Just like their (hopefully) eventual relationship will be 😊

Him explaining that he had no expectations with his confession, starts getting a bit dramatic in his own head again, and then she's so blunt just shutting him up 🤣 it's gonna be their whole dynamic. And again with the chapstick comment, she's a menace just as much as him. Love it.

And then, yea it's great they're being all smart and sensible and mature and taking some time apart and yepyepyep but the hopeless romantic in me did wonder if she'd go back in, even just for a minute. but then the image of them both batterd and sat staring at the open door, like the end of an action film at the edge of the blast zone or something, that was epic. Scene of the crime. Yellow tape. Do not cross. The works. He's either gonna want to move like yesterday or stay there forever and I can't decide which. Amazing 🖤

Can't wait for Steve's interaction with them face to face, can just see him coming in all Captain America thinking he fully saved the day from his phone call convincing her to go back, and them both just chasing him down the stairs 🤣

p.s. I'm so satisfied finally hearing the other side of Eddie's call with Nancy. I mean, we all had an idea, but still so satisfying 🖤🖤

i am so glad someone else thought of that song!!! when i wrote that line i took a quick break just to sigh deeply because i really can’t escape her 😭 and they are very reputation coded!! since starting i’ve always firmly believed they were very speak now coded in the beginning, and slowly became more reputation coded as their story continued lol (can you imagine a non swiftie reading this like ???? what???) i also very much love that song. it’s so fun and the lines about toasting her friends, baby, and mama are so satisfying to me.

i definitely almost had eddie call nancy first to be completely be honest. but, just between you and me, i think eddie reached out the way he did very strategically. he knew she was upset, dealing with a lot, and he also knew she’s in the groupchat. calling nancy risks jonathan finding out, which risks everyone finding out. he knows that reader is closest with steve, that steve was always going to be the one coming to pick her up at the end, so he called him for her benefit.

and also between you and me, eddie is feeling the same way as reader. he doesn’t want to give up that privacy quite yet. if he called nancy, she’d complete her best friend duties of asking for details, making sure he was okay, etc. and he isn’t okay but he doesn’t want to explain why.

and oh gosh, i’m really glad someone else saw the cinematic vibes of that moment because i was worried people would be like “why are those idiots not going back in” 😭 they’re on neutral ground there, and yes, that apartment is definitely tainted to eddie now, but he’s definitely leaning more towards never moving. especially when it’s not all quite ruined yet. if reader had left and it had all been on bad terms? oh yeah he would have wrecked that place.

and… yeah, steve better watch his back. he gets his karma next hour. (already wrote the scene. poor dude learned his lesson.)

i figured we all knew what went down but.. just for good measure <3 and because it was too cute to have a parallel of the way nancy forced that admission out of eddie in the beginning, and then steve did the same to reader. ultimate wing (wo)men truly

[legisservitaepax]

MARISSA A. MOSSESGELD, petitioner, Vs.COURT OF APPEALS and CIVIL REGISTRAR GENERAL, respondents.

G.R. No. 111455 December 23, 1998

Facts:

On December 2, 1989, petitioner Marissa Alfaro Mossesgeld, single, 31 years of age, gave birth to a baby boy at the Medical City General Hospital, Mandaluyong, Metro Manila. 3 It was the third time that she delivered a child. 4 The presumed father, one Eleazar Siriban Calasan, 42 years old, a lawyer, married, and a resident of 8632 San Jose St. Guadalupe Nuevo, Makati, Metro Manila, signed the birth certificate of the child as the informant, indicating therein the child’s first name as Jonathan, middle name as Mossesgeld, and last name as Calasan. Both the presumed father, Eleazar S. Calasan and the mother Marissa A. Mossesgeld, accomplished the dorsal side of the certificate of live birth stating that the information contained therein were true and correct. In addition, lawyer Calasan executed an affidavit admitting paternity of the child.

On December 6, 1989, the petitioner filed the certificate to the Mandaluyong local civil registrar’s office for registration since the hospital’s administrative staff had refused to write the child’s presumed father’s surname in the certificate of live birth.

On October 9, 1990, lawyer Eleazar S. Calasan personally went to the Local Civil Registrar of Mandaluyong to inquire about the status of the registration of his illegitimate child’s certificate of birth, but was furnished with a copy of the letter dated January 17, 1990, of the Civil Registrar General denying registration of the certificate of live birth of petitioner’s illegitimate child using the father’s surname, for it is contrary to law.

Issue:

Whether mandamus lies to compel the Local Civil Registrar to register a certificate of live birth of an illegitimate child using the alleged father’s surname where the latter admitted paternity .

Ruling:

Art. 176 of the Family Code of the Philippines 13 provides that “illegitimate children shall use the surname and shall be under the parental authority of their mother, and shall be entitled to support in conformity with this Code.” This is the rule regardless of whether or not the father admits paternity. Consequently, the Local Civil Registrar correctly refused to register the certificate of live birth of petitioner’s illegitimate child using the surname of the alleged father, even with the latter’s consent. Of course, the putative father, though a much married man, may legally adopt his own illegitimate child. In case of adoption, the child shall be considered a legitimate child of the adopter, entitled to use his surname.

The provisions of Article 366 of the Philippine Civil Code, which granted a natural child acknowledged by both parents the right to use the father’s surname, have been virtually repealed by the Family Code. The Family Code eliminates the categories of recognised natural children and natural children by legal fiction by limiting the classification of children to legitimate and illegitimate.

#CivilRegistry

#JudgePrincess

[undercoverwriterr]

lyric inspired prompts

ft. Taylor Swift's Reputation {part 2}

"It was so nice throwing big parties!"

"There are no rules when you show up here."

"I'm locking the gates!"

"This is why we can't have nice things, darling."

"Because you break them!"

"Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me?"

"It was so nice being friends again..."

"And therein lies the issue."

"Friends don't try to trick you!"

"But I'm not the only friend you've lost lately."

"If only you weren't so shady."

"Hahaha! I can't even say it with a straight face!"

"They took the crown."

"Nobody's from me for...months?"

"Call it what you want to."

"He built a fire just to keep me warm."

"I know I make the same mistakes! Every time!"

"I did one thing right."

"My baby's fit like a daydream."

"I want to wear his initial."

"On a chain...around my neck...!"

"Which is more than they can say!"

"You should take it as a compliment."

"You should think about the consequence!"

"You've ruined my life."

"I can't say anything to your face!"

"You're so gorgeous."

"But if you're single...that's...Honestly, worse."

"You make me so happy."

"There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have."

"Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats..."

"Unless you wanna come along?"

[semischarmed]

Chrysalis

People say that college is where you “find yourself” and I can’t help but agree. It’s just, well, how I truly found myself was through my roommate Kyle. Or rather, inside him.

How to describe Kyle? He’s basically the perfect roommate. He’s kind, quiet, studious, relatively clean. He goes to soccer practice for some kind of campus league every weekend. Kyle is also rushing one of the frats on campus- Sig something or the other, so I get quite a few long nights to myself. Long, hot nights where I can’t help but scramble over to his side and pleasure myself in a pile of dirty Kyle-scented undergarments. The biggest treats were the nights when he had to do his frat stuff after a match. The nights when I could slip on his unwashed sweaty gear and just lie in the bliss of being surrounded in him. Every few days, we go out to grab a bite to eat and shoot the shit- the guy’s been a great friend to me, despite his typical serious demeanor. Since he was rushing this semester, he’s been busier and busier but he still makes time for me, even inviting me to some of his soccer team or frat bro hangouts. What can I say? I lucked out with Kyle. Still, I’m a greedy son of a bitch, and I wanted more of him. 

I decided fairly early on that I would possess him, make him wholly mine. I can’t even quite explain why Kyle specifically. He’s cute-sure, tone-definitely, but he isn’t super buff, he isn’t red-carpet-movie star hot, so it’s really hard to place why, out of anyone I could take in this entire school, I decided he would be my target. My forever home. Something about him was just enticing. Maybe it was the way his coffee brown eyes relayed a sense of mystery and serious matters, but lit up with the faintest twinkle of amusement when he recapped his games. Or maybe the way his body only gave me the briefest of glimpses at his musculature when he switched shirts. Maybe it was his kindness, unexpectedly bright for a frat-boy-soccer-star-roomate. Or maybe the way his scent lingered in the room after a workout. God, that scent. Pleasant, warm, humid, musky- like summer rain. Doesn’t matter. I wanted him. I wanted to spend my every moment with him. In him. I wanted to be wrapped up in Kyle’s flesh till the end of time, to wake up with Kyle’s eyes, to take every breath with his lungs, feel every beat of his heart pump as mine.

This possession was going to be special. I prepped for weeks- months even. Truthfully, it’s not all that difficult to possess someone for sometime and when you’re as good at it as I am, you can even maintain it indefinitely by putting the smallest pieces of yourself in them. Kyle would be different. Full, integrative possession- a one-way ticket. I wanted this shit to be permanent. I was going to stuff my entire physical form inside his. To take someone at their core, to violate every law of nature both physical and metaphysical- this, this needed setup, needed planning, needed Kyle to be present during the entire process. Therein lies the issue- how to get a lucid Kyle to sit still long enough for me to complete the slow process of integrating to him. 

I came to the conclusion that a catalyst of sorts was necessary. Something that could lock us in together physically, could stop him from leaving or stopping process, could break open after let the new and improved me emerge. Guess who drafted plans for a one such catalyst? Guess who switched majors to Material Science, who befriended a professor just to figure out a good semi-permeable material to use? No one can say I didn’t love him- at least in my own special way. After weeks of trial, weeks of iteration, I decided on a tight-fitting, sleeping-bag-esque contraption. The material and shape were special- virtually impossible for a human being to break out of, kept fluids in but let some air flow through for ventilation, shaped such that we could only fit directly stacked on top of each other, leaving him unable to escape the process. I also set the release mechanism in the back, so only a completed Kyle could escape. Like any good invention, I gave it a name befitting its purpose: Chrysalis.

I settled on a day where he would be weakest- cardio day, a day where I could easily slip some compound into his post workout mix. I finished preparations with the chrysalis, secretly hidden in his bed.

“Hey dude, sup?” He asks nonchalantly with a slight head nod, as he enters our room, visibly tired from the workout. “Nothing, man” I reciprocate in amusement. I watch in secret anticipation as he downs his special post-workout mixture, scratches his cock through his boxers- unconcerned, comfortable, and gives off a loud yawn. “Hey man, I-I-don’t....feel..” I rush to help him, corralling the grimy, tired, post-workout Kyle into place. He asleep almost immediately. I strip us both naked, marveling at my new vessel. Damn. A light pelting of hair covers the deceptively muscular soccer star. A blanket of sweat surrounds him while a bit of the spiked post workout drink pools at the corners of his plump lips. Deliciously plump lips beckoning for a taste. I aim to lick it off and give him a kiss before I immediately realize what the repercussions would be. Shit. Close call. I stroke his hair, leaning in to tell him how much I wanted this. I take a quick sniff at his pits, at his groin and god they smell fantastic. I roll him to his side, as I take my naked form beside him and pull the Chrysalis around ourselves. I roll to have my back face the bed and the bottom of my cocoon, pulling Kyle on top of me and engaging the the contraption to wrap around us. I find the button to tighten it, effectively locking the position of our stacked bodies in place. I find the final button to lock the Chrysalis into its release valve. No going back.

When I seal us together in my little love cocoon, I begin to feel the gravity of his form above mine, slick with perspiration. My future body was dense, probably from years of building muscle, perfectly tempered, toned, streamlined by every game, every win. Inside our encasement, I rocked back and forth, getting into as comfortable of a position as I could and rubbing our sweaty bods together. I lock my legs around his, intertwine our fingers together and wait patiently for Kyle to come to.

The scent was indescribable, orgasmic even. I’ve never felt closer to him. I am in tune with his slightest movements as he lay on top. With every breath, every inhale our bodies rise and fall in sync. With every steamy inhale I draw in his breath. like we were breathing in each other. No one else deserved to experience Kyle this way, not even his girlfriend Steph. Kyle was mine and mine alone. With mine still intertwined with his, I drag Kyle’s limp hands around his belly, his light abs, give him a feel for himself.

An intrusive wave of uncertainty hits me. Oh god what am I doing? Am I really doing this? This, this is unnatural. I release my hands from his grasp and reach them around him, lightly dancing them across my future body and feeling the new vessel so close, feeling his damp, gently sculpted abs for myself, squeezing his supple ass. Stupid natural order shit. I tug on his hefty, limp dick, which begins to harden involuntarily at my provacation. This is mine. Fuck the natural order, not giving you up baby.

He wakes, disoriented in the Chrysalis. “Uh...I...What the fuck...” Panic sets in, as he feels my immobile flesh behind him and he tries to get his bearings to no avail. He keeps moving back and forth, trying to dislodge himself from the Chrysalis, from me, but it’s far too tight and too strong. I made sure of that. “Oh god, oh god...” he trails as he tries to rationalize the past events. I decide at that point to reveal my identity, faking the sounds of myself waking up before sleepily asking him “Kyle? Uh... w-what are you doing here? What are we doing? W-Where is this? Did you do this? Kyle? Kyle!” I’m a shitty actor but he seems to have bought it. I relish the moment when he sighs in relief at the realization that the naked form on his back was mine. I guess he trusts me. Cute, but you shouldn’t trust me, Kyle.  

“Oh thank god, dude I don’t know, I just woke up. I- uh- sorry, I’m gonna try to get us out of this thing,” He states as he wiggles to try to release us from my cocoon. And fuck did that feel good. 

“Mmmmm Kyle” I trail, as my dick starts to harden and poke at his ass. The wiggling does not helping him, as every movement gets me harder and pushes my dick further in him. 

“Oh! EW! Fuck! What the fuck man!” He shouts, before he realizes all this was turning me on. “Fuck dude stop!” he exclaims. 

“Why would I stop this, baby, we’re just getting started.” I give his back shoulder a quick lick. “I’m gonna make you feel like a new man”.

“Y-You! YOU! You did this! the Fuck! Get me out of here!!” He spat, only for it to rain back on to us through gravity. 

He squirms, trying to escape once more only to be met with the Chrysalis’ tight hold on our forms and my engorged cock. “Only one person can come out of this thing” I moan, as I start gyrating myself into him. “Get the fuck off me, Fag!” He screams in vain as parts of me already start connecting into him. The parts of his body connected to mine light up, like sparks dancing across mine. Euphoria. “There’s that soccer rage” I state seductively as I wrap my arms around his torso and abs and push us impossibly closer. “Suits you... suits...me”.

By this point, My body was halfway submerged into his and he finally starts to feel my nerves, my cells as his. With our shared senses, he feels my arms pushing us together as if his own self was doing the deed. “AHHHH OH MY GOD. Oh! nonononono” He exclaims in terror. He is reduced to incoherent babbling as he smells the suffocating concoction of his post-workout filth. The air is thick and brimming with pheromones. He is reduced to disgust, when he tastes the droplets in the air of our putrid selves locked inside my Chrysalis. Of course, in our connected state, I taste them too, only I love this taste. His taste. Our taste. I can only moan as I continue merging into him and my limbs and his are one. I feel my new biceps as I trace them around the new me. Tone. Nimble. Champion. And I feel my new, experience-tempered legs. Vascular. Virile. Powerful. I’m a goddamn athlete.

Animalistic, guttural sounds escape his mouth as the last of my torso and neck coalesce into his, and all that remains is my head, firmly planted to the back of his. I take a deep whiff of his now-drenched hair with our new, shared, workhorse lungs. “We’re so close, baby.”

Inserting myself into his mind was equally orgasmic. He screams at contact. The first plunge of my forehead tp the back of his was some useless frat shit. Whatever. I dig my head deeper into him and felt his years of soccer practice leak into me. More goodstuff. Then deeper still- and fond memories with friends, fond memories of school bleed into me. I plunge further and further in, taking in every piece of him I could, while he pants and winces at my insertion. His first kiss, grandfather’s funeral, deepest urges all MINE. Fuck. I pull back slightly, as I feel his him gently sob, before I push more myself deeper into his psyche. He screams at the injection of more of my memories and at the realization that this was a one way trip for both of us. “FUCK! FUCK! Stop Please! Too much! Too much!” I mentally sneer as I thrust even deeper into his mind, grabbing some more of him, and leaving more of myself. Childhood memories and feelings flood into my mind and I experience everything that has led to Kyle becoming Kyle. The feeling of winning my first game. The feeling I felt the first time I masturbated. More. Kyle’s deep love for Steph.

Damn, this guy was ready to pop the question and start a family with her-Not Anymore baby. You’re with me now, Kyle. I corrode this particular aspect of him with my own innermost desires. My perversions, the pure lust I felt in finally taking him. He laughs, moans at the lust he now had, before catching himself.

“Oh god what... doing... me!” he whimpers as his body convulses and drools. Our shared pupils dilate at the process as his body thrashes in futility. And yet, I press into him deeper still. Deeper and deeper inside until all but the very last of my old self is left. His deepest secrets, his dreams, self worth belong to me. He cries, mouth mumbling incoherently into a crescendo as I worm in that last bit my head into his and my own life become his. My old body’s childhood memories, My old thoughts, feelings, knowledge, secrets flood his. I give all of it to my new self, ingraining me in him, and cementing us together.

“AHHHH DAMN IT! Fuck Fuck! get-get the fuck out!” he screams as his hands start pulling on his hair, as his head shakes left and right trying to get the intrusion of my mind out of his. He recoils as I briefly take control. “No way dude, this [moan] oh god this is fucking great.” We continue panting, continue convulsing as his body is forced to accept me. “M-My name is Kyle, and I feel fucking good!” He shakes a bit more. “STOP-“ I cut in to force him to tell me “God I fucking love you inside me. Take me! Use me!” He begins gently sobbing, but I make him do it with a smile. “My name is Kyle and I’m a sick fuck who’s gonna cum inside and possess his closest friends”. I make us moan. 

Eventually, the seizing stops, and Kyle finds a moment of clarity. With my memories in him, He finds the release built into the Chrysalis and we emerge out of our slick cocoon as one. Sweat and cum trickle out as we come out a new man. A changed man. He walks to mirror in horror, checking himself to look for any wounds in his form. Instead he finds pulsing of my flesh-or what used to be my flesh-at various parts of his body beneath his skin. Abberant. Inhuman.

“Oh god oh god oh god this-this-this, this can’t be happening”. My new heart quickens as Kyle continues to panic. He tries to slap himself awake, but with each slap my control tightens and I make him moan in approval. He feels impossibly full with something-someone pulsing deep inside his skin, integrating. A natural violation of the highest order. He whimpers as he takes nervous, shaking hands all around him, feeling the intrusiveness of the eroticism I feel in being in him. The pulsing in him stops. “Keep going, baby [moan] fill me up. Make me you,” I force him to tell me with a tone that oozed sex. A tone that was alien to his voice. “My name is Kyle and I love dick. I love dick because the man inside me, the man controlling my every action loves dick. And he’s never leaving me. I love that too, because he’s inside me, making me love that.”

“Kyle I’m giving you one last morsel choice before I take it all the way- I decide everything for us from now on” I state to my reflection in the mirror, giving it a slobbery kiss. “We got a cute ass...I’m sure we can snag a few more bodies to play with... I wanna get a little party going. You know, our teammates are pretty cute, aren’t they? Maybe we can stick some me inside them”. I make him lick his lips. “Your frat bros are pretty cute too [moan] you wanna be frat president? I can arrange that, once I make you put me inside them...I’m getting ahead of myself... Let’s start with one. Pick someone...someone we can take, can use, can fuck” I force his face into an out of place, lustful, deranged smile before returning control to him. “Stay the fuck away from my bros! I..... uh...sorry. S-Sorry for shouting. Just please-please! Get out!” he whimpers in desperation, before descending into more hysteric sobbing. Hysteric sobbing which becomes cute, unsettling giggling, which becomes a roaring laughter as I wrestle back control of my new meat-suit. I wipe his tears off my new face, giving it a quick taste before taking a tour of the new me. “You and I both know there is no going back. The old me? Doesn’t exist. I am You, now. This is your body doing these actions, your brain thinking these thoughts”.

A tremor begins from our extremities, limbs become numb as our shared nerves light up in stimulation. More internal sparks fly through us. This was it. Like an earthquake in my new body, a wave of new feelings wash over me, rocking me to my core. The world around us shook, as the final pieces of my physical self interlocks with his and two become one. 

I reach down to pleasure myself, before deciding instead to first push Kyle’s consciousness to the front so he can watch. This would be my first time in this body. Lets make it special. I do a quick reverse crunch, holding the position. Fucking easy in this body. And then pull the crunch close till the body starts to struggle “Arrgh Fuck! Stop!” he screams. I pull even further and he cries from the uncomfortable position I put us in. “This is mine now” I state with his voice, “I decide how far..[pant]..how far we go” And decide I do, as I pull us even further back, prompting another pained “FUCK” from Kyle. I line my growing hard on-our growing hard-on, up to our shared mouth. “Look.. look at what you can do” I moan as him, before letting his consciousness back in front, leaving only control of his face. He is in hysterics as I keep him locked in his position and continue breaking this new bod. 

“Look at what we’re capable of when I’m driving” I state in our shared mind. His head thrashes back and forth before I freeze it in place. I take brief control of just his plump lips and mouth, and position his thick dick inside. Fuck we taste good. Salty, with the smallest hint of bitterness. I continue, pumping head faster and faster, forcing my occupant to feel every motion. We make little noise beyond the soft smacking sounds as we continue. The feeling was fucking euphoria. Im sure he feels it too, since he’s been uncharacteristically quiet. I’ve seen him do his warmup stretches before. I knew what he was capable of- with just a little push from me. When he shoots, when I let him shoot, I keep our shared mouth firmly wrapped around our engorged dick, guzzling our creation greedily. This mouth cannot contain it all and a bit spill below. Even more dribbles out of as I slowly release our position. Wet cum spills and pools on our shared chest and abs. I smear it around like a lotion. 

I jump and stretch myself into straight standing abruptly, forcing a slight jolt of pain from previously contorting this new body in a way it never had to before. His blood rushes through me, through us, and I let out a sigh of relief and contentment in the afterglow of my possession. I lick my new self clean, exploring all of Kyle’s crevices, before I coat our mouth in my new seed for a taste and swallow the excess in one gulp. We taste Delicious. Kyle, you sexy, tasty fuck, I knew there was something different about you. That last stunt seemed to have satisfied him as he recedes into me. I am in a dreamy smile as I tap my head gently with my finger. “All me now”.

The alarm on Kyle’s phone-my phone rings suddenly. Oh Shit. Kyle-er I had a game in a few minutes. I head over to the field with a breeze behind me, to the sight of slight discomfort and subtle gagging from my teammates. Fuck that. Smell more of me motherfuckers. They smile with strained faces as we do some small warmups for the game. His teammates really were cute- I briefly consider possessing them right there in broad daylight. Fuck it, what can anyone fucking do? I’m Kyle. And when Kyle wants something, Kyle gets it. Still, I only came for a test drive, so I decide to postpone their fates.

The match was tense. My teammates were alright, sure. But Kyle? Me? I played his body like an expert- no movement wasted, every single action carefully considered and executed. It was my brain in here after all. Onlookers stared in awe as, almost inhumanly, I block everything that goes my way. Despite my brain’s expert calculation, his body also deserved to praise. His muscled legs gliding my form through the grass, effortlessly, the twisting his body at just the right spot for the most efficient block. This body following my every command, like I’ve owned it for years. The old me was not one for sports, but this? Working his musculature into these complex maneuvers? Straining his form to just the right amount to maximize performance? Bliss. I can see why some people like this shit. The more I move through him, the closer I felt. Despite my heavy panting at the end, I can’t help but feel energized. Being in him is invigorating. I could keep going at this for days and days- this was truly an athlete’s body. 

I do a little dance as, in the end, we squeeze a 1-0 victory. All thanks to me, of course. My teammates brace themselves slightly-likely from the deep, concentrated musk and gallons of sweat I was emanating- before they surround me in a group huddle. New and improved Kyle is kinky little shit though, so I grab and pull their sweaty bodies uncomfortably close, and then squeeze them to me even closer so they can leave with the scent of my sweat on them. They recoil at my actions, at my words, as the normally stoic Kyle gently coos “Great job, team”. They laugh nervously and try to pull away, but I keep them in the embrace just an awkward second too long, sniffing each of them and remarking them. One day, you’ll all be mine.

After the game, I return to our room and look at my sweaty, dirty self in the mirror. I take a whiff of the freshly filthy soccer game and  soccer team smells we impregnate our room with. I take a quick sniff of our shared armpits, deciding to forgo showering this bod. Exquisitely noxious. Not getting rid of this.

I called his girlfriend Steph to break up abruptly over phone, citing my “newfound” sudden onset homosexuality. She was upset, understandably, but supportive. Really, I had no issues with the girl, and in another life, we’d be best friends fawning over the same straight dude. But this was Kyle, new-Kyle, new-gay-Kyle-who-only-loves-possessed-dick. My Kyle. He was mine, and mine alone.

Having finished my short list of post-takeover errands, my new self was on the prowl for some new recruits, new bodies to take, to possess, to pleasure me. Since he never really gave me an answer to my question earlier, I search through the remnants of the Old Kyle in my mind, force them to give me the name of someone to to take. I smiled. In the echoes of my mind, one face, one name reverberated in my head.  

Red.

I start giggling in a cute tone, out of place coming out of jock Kyle before I break out into a full cackle. “Kyle, you sick, sick, fuck...Red? Big Bro Red? After all he’s done to try to bond with you? Sick, incestuous son of a bitch.” I let out a soft moan as I drag my new vascular hands all over myself, stopping at my new nipples to give them a slight tickle, and my eyes flutter. I give them a hard twist, whining in elation when his body delivers the sensations to me. The smells we’ve been emitting has been pungent, concentrated, putrid from that sweaty group hug earlier. “Traitorous, depraved fucks like me don’t deserve a shower” I make him say in dirty whispers.

Red was Kyle’s big bro at the frat, and someone I had only met once previously. Once was enough to leave an impression. Unlike cute, naturally introspective, reserved athlete Kyle, Big Bro Red was extroverted, artsy, and fucking hot. Apparently, he’s been trying to connect to Kyle ever since the two were paired. Well, Kyle’s under new management, and I planned to use every bit of their tenuous relationship to get Big Bro Red under that same management. This was going to be fun. 

I am stopped abruptly as my phone vibrates. “Hey, wanna grab a bite to eat?” I close my eyes in sweet satisfaction, lick my lips seductively and shift my mouth into a filthy smile when I catch the name of who it’s from:

Red. 

—————End—————

Took a bit of inspiration from some past stories I’ve read in writing this one. The story implies a continuation but I’m still a bit on the fence. Hope you liked it/ Happy New Year’s!

[ouatsnark]

The bad things we learned from Once Upon a Time

I have always felt it was important to criticize the bad while praising the good. Elevate the goodness above the evil. And when it comes to Once Upon a Time it is so important to point out the major flaws in this show because so many weak minded individuals have absorbed it as truth. And therein lies the problem with stories that glorify evil without justice. You can see this displayed in the Evil Queen and Rumpelstiltskin fandom so very well. They call names, threaten violence, twist truths and use real world issues as a weapon to silence opinions or facts that they do not like.

Once Upon a Time’s overall message was one of love, hope and forgiveness but at a closer look you’ll see the toxicity mixed within the stories. This post focuses on the negative because it so often framed as something positive... when it isn’t.

Regina Mills taught us that you aren’t responsible for your actions (if you’re a beautiful woman).

Which is one of the worse messages this show has to offer. “Evil isn’t born. It is made” became a popular catch phrase. Evil isn’t born but it isn’t made either. It is a choice. We all have a choice to make. And Regina made hers.

Regina blames her mother, Rumple, Snow, the Evil Queen and the book for making her the evil queen.

So if you have someone to blame and you can shed a few tears over your lost happy ending... congratulations! You get a free pass on all the horrible stuff you’ve done! You abused your child? No problem you can have him back! You destroyed a woman’s life? No problem you can have her total support even as you continue to belittle her and never apologize! This often won’t work in the real world so tread with caution here.

This of course only applies if you’re a beautiful woman who shows a lot of cleavage. This is evident because Regina never pays for her crimes & neither does Zelena, really, while everyone else does or is at least fully blamed for theirs with no way out. Even Cora is turned into a victim in the end.

1) Snow

Snow telling Regina’s secret is always thrown in her face vs blaming the true murderer Cora. Snow was a child being manipulated by an adult but this is never really touched on! It’s always Snow’s fault that Regina chose evil. 

Snow murders Cora, a powerful evil woman plotting to kill them all, and is vilified for it. This is never seen as something positive because it hurts Regina. I’m sorry, how is stopping a murderer plotting more murder a bad thing? Cora also has magic. So really the only option was to trick her. Maybe Snow’s motives for revenge makes it a little iffy but is it too much to ask the show to address the bigger issue instead of having a Regina pity party? Or for turning villains into victims?

The show also retconned the story to make Snow and David baby snatchers and they had to face their victims and make things right. Which if it had been Regina, the author would have been solely blamed for this. He did manipulate Snowing, after all. But they made a choice. The wrong choice. But the show actually doles out the correct punishment for the Charmings whereas it never did for Regina. Furthermore, if the show held everyone to the same standards as Regina then Snow and Maleficent would have become fast friends.

Snow put Emma into the wardrobe to give her her best chance. In S6 the show tries to absolve Regina’s role in that by showing the Charmings opening a door to a young Emma. And then you have Snow saying “we took so much from you, we can’t take Hook too”. They’re receiving the entire blame for Emma’s childhood and not once laying it at Regina’s feet. Because when they closed that door, it was still because of Regina’s curse. They couldn’t live their lives while they left others to be cursed (per Gold’s retconning in S6).

2) Killian paid for his crimes with his life and had to face his victims.

The last thing Killian wanted was to become a Dark One. He did not choose this. He feared he wouldn’t be able to resist the darkness. And when that darkness consumed him, it manipulated him to do things he never would have done otherwise. However, he fought it and won. Then did what Regina could never do. He died for everyone.

People will say “but what about S2 Regina when she sacrifices herself”. That was her kill switch. She wasn’t consumed by evil when she made it. She chose that of her own free will. And the only reason she didn’t go through with it is because Greg & Tamara had ruined her plans. If they hadn’t, everyone would be dead right now except Regina and Henry. That’s the problem! And she still lived.

She had another chance to sacrifice herself in S6 when they were up against her more evil half but she let the Charmings face her instead. That was just gross. If she was any kind of redeemed hero she wouldn’t have listened to them and sacrificed herself instead. But the Charmings were willing to sacrifice themselves. Because they are a good example of true heroes.

When separated from Emma, Killian fell into a dark place again and reverted back to his piratical ways. He shows true remorse for what he did. True heartfelt regret.

Then there is Belle

He’s been making things up to Belle since S3. He comforted after she had to force Rumple from Storybrooke in S4 and then again in S6 he faces the Dark One’s wrath to give her shelter. By the end she is counting him as a friend. And we actually see and understand why. He has shown regret and has treated her with respect.

To be honest the story of Killian being David’s father’s murderer was one of the dumbest stretches this show did and it’s obvious they did it for one reason. Regina couldn’t be the only one to kill one of Emma’s grandparents! It’s so stupid. But he was so torn up by guilt and when he goes to face David he doesn’t even get the chance to get the words out. He is forgiven because David acknowledges that Killian has changed.

YES everyone also acknowledges the change in Regina but where is it shown? Just in the fact that she stopped killing people and joined team hero for the sole purpose of getting her happy ending? She is treated with such kid gloves!

3) Dark Swan hurts Henry to get a tear to banish evil forever and Regina is allowed to throw that back in Emma’s face. Twice. So where are all the times characters bring up Regina’s actual abuse of Henry where she did so for her own selfish reasons cause she wanted to keep him all to herself & keep her curse going? Oh, right, that never happened because we’re led to believe that her actions were justified. 

REGINA NEVER FACES A VICTIM

Not without that victim become the villain or without being thanked for it. There was Percival who stabbed Robin instead of Regina which was all about Regina losing love again and not about the fact that one of her victims just lost his life trying to save everyone from the Evil Queen. His life didn’t matter. Only Regina’s. Hell, not even Robin’s because it was all about Regina’s happiness. 

And then Owen/Greg whose life was destroyed by her but we’re suppose to feel sorry for Regina because the Charmings plotted to give her what she deserved and she received a little justice from Greg. Yet she is allowed to throw Killian abandoning her to her victim back in his face without taking responsibility for what led to it in the first place! Amazing.

Again, Snow, because she’s vilified for Regina’s choices & even thanks Regina for it. She abused Henry yet he’s forced to tell her that “she isn’t a villain you’re my mom and I shouldn’t have gone for Emma” making himself the cause of everything. Emma is forced to thank Regina for torturing her. She makes it through the underworld without facing one person she killed.

This is because the show itself taught these people that Regina is to be pitied and everyone else vilified. Just see the whole Marian arc and the fact that Regina continues to blame Snow for everything in her life. Also, we see Regina getting awarded the “good” queen crown by her biggest victim.

May of her stans try to phrase this as “its about getting a second chance! Everyone deserves a second chance!” Never mind that Regina had many second chances including the time Snow locked her in the dungeon. She didn’t decide to stop killing until her choices were costing her the thing she wanted: Henry’s love.

Regrets and apologies aren’t needed if you’ve got a victim card

As mentioned above, Regina played the victim. The writing drummed up pity for Regina so most of her fans just nod along and say “poor Regina, everyone should be apologizing to her!” But that’s not how it works. It’s not how it should work. When you do something wrong, a good person shows regret and apologizes. You don’t see this from Regina. Oh sure she regrets her past but has anyone noticed that it is only in correlation with her happy ending? She doesn’t care about the lives she destroyed. She cares that it cost her her happy ending.

Regina teaches us that you can be called a hero and not regret destroying the lives of so many. She even proclaims at one point that she hates doing good. True change comes from the heart. Which means her whole journey as a hero has been for her own selfish gain: to get her happy ending.

Wish Hook didn’t have to apologize for trying to kill Killian & steal his happy ending as soon as he fabricated a sob story about finding a daughter he... misplaced? I mean I don’t know how you forget where a tower is but OK. I guess his stolen youthful appearance helped. He was just handed his life back. This wouldn’t have been so bad if there’d been a sense that he was really going to change and made a self-sacrifice but alas we get nothing.

Abuse & rape are okay if you’re pursuing your happy ending

Don’t believe me? Regina never paid for a single crime. She did not make one self-sacrifice that came from the heart. And she was handed her entire life back after she sent children to the blind witch to be eaten, committed genocide, raped a man for 28 years, destroyed Emma’s life and abused Henry.

Likewise, Rumple was able to get his happy ending in the end without truly becoming a better man. His relationship with Belle is an example of domestic abuse. He used her life as a chess piece for his own happiness. He emotionally abused her, manipulated her and even assaulted her. But as usual, the show did not address the obvious sexual assaults on Belle perpetrated by her husband.

While Zelena at least spends a little time behind bars for her crimes, she still gets away with rape and murder and in the end is rewarded with what she wanted: her daughter. She doesn’t express regret over any of it either. Just like Regina.

There’s also an issue with Neal who got an underaged Emma pregnant, left her to take the fall for his crime and then when it was convenient for him he arrogantly assumes she will take him back because he fathered her child. The fact that Emma repeatedly rejects him is such a good thing but then the show makes one fatal flaw. They deem a hero for bringing back his backstabbing father and then have the audacity of having Emma’s parents name her baby brother after her abuser. And Emma seems happy about it.

And as mentioned above, Wish Hook’s plot to murder Killian and take his place is overlooked and he is treated to a happy reunion with the daughter that he abandoned. Newsflash: if he’d succeeded & had had sex Emma that would’ve been sexual assault.

Victims should thank their abusers for teaching them about themselves

Regina never apologized but all of her victims sure apologized to her!

Emma was forced to thank Regina for torturing her when Regina killed WishSnowing. As if that was the only way to do it. And how often have we heard “heroes always find another way!” Just something else that doesn’t apply to Regina.

Wish Realm episode: Emma thanks Regina for orphaning her because apparently unless one faces adversity you’re just a weakling who kind of sucks?

At the beginning of Season 5 Regina steals Emma’s agency then controls her with the dagger. This hurts Emma. Emma tells her. But then ends up thanking Regina for doing it. Amazing.

Snow thanks Regina for killing her father, stealing her throne and trying to kill her because this taught her how to have hope. Disgusting. What Regina did wasn’t a good thing. Snow might have learned something from it but thanking Regina for her evilness isn’t doing anyone any good. Regina still couldn’t spit out a decent “I’m sorry” and even if she did so what? She’d split herself in two and magically drained some of the evil out of her at this point. It wouldn’t have been an apology that had come from a true place of regret and change. Magic brought it out. I’d be more impressed if this happened back in S4.

Emma was forced to grovel to Regina over saving a woman’s life. Emma trying to befriend Regina during this was irresponsible writing. Victims should not be groveling at the feet of their abusers. If any character in this show should have been begging for forgiveness and offering friendship it was Regina. But oh no. Regina is elevated to victim status over killing Robin’s wife while Emma is made a villain for saving her. Can we see how this is problematic?

Henry was forced to thank Regina for abusing him. “If I had never gone to get Emma, if I just lived under the curse with you, none of this would have ever happened. I thought I was alone. I-I thought you didn't love me. But I was wrong.“ - I mean I guess it would be OK for Regina to keep Henry and everyone stay cursed? I mean to hell with everyone else as long as Regina gets what she wants right? Whatever.

If your abuser says they want to change you must immediately forgive them and befriend them

OUAT sends the message that you MUST be friends with your abusers because they aren't responsible for their actions. They were forced to bring the woman who destroyed their lives into their family... despite her never apologizing & making them out as the villains.

If someone calls you an “idiot” you should accept it because that’s just who they are

Regina’s behavior is excused because the other characters never call her on it. This has led fans to this kind of thinking: 

“She’s the EQ not the friendly queen”.

So If someone calls you an “idiot” it doesn’t matter b/c that’s “just who they are” & you should accept their treatment as the heroes accepted Regina’s?

Congrats OUAT you’ve normalized bullying.

Did I miss any negative lessons?

Leave a comment!

[angeli-marco-writes]

congrats!

TIWWCHNT angst with Tom Hollanddd? please x

A/N - Thanks for the request! I hope you enjoy :) I made this RichKid!Tom. I do not know Tom Holland, nor do I claim to. I don't own the song lyrics used, all credit to owners.

Warnings - swearing, mentions of drinking and drugs.

It was so nice throwing big parties, even giving them a second chance for our friends, but that was once upon a time, and I’m over that stage of my life now. It stopped bringing me joy. Having just returned from a steak dinner and wine tasting at a friend's new mansion, I’m heading home for the night, my plans having changed in favour of some alone time with my partner. I even bought some Dom on the way home as a treat, and I’m excited to see Tom, admiring the hunk of silver on my finger as I head up.

I’m shaking my head, I’m locking the gate behind me as I drive my Rolls into the great expanse of driveway...

I’m going to murder Tom fucking Holland.

This is why we can’t have nice things, because Tom fucking ruins them every single goddamn time. It’s been the case ever since you first got together. He knew cleanliness and keeping things pristine was in your nature, but he ain’t reading what they call me, so he dived in head first. You’re difficult to live with, you know that, but you and Tom agreed.

It was once so nice doing that once upon a time, jumping in the pool from the balcony, drunk and high and living my life so freely while I was young… But I’m not in my party years anymore, and I’ve passed that date where I can get sloshed and off my face only to wake up the next day and repeat it; electing a calmer, more modest lifestyle while maintaining the lavish and party nature of my wealth, life and personality.

Tom and I were the glamorous couple amongst our friends, always hosting the best parties with huge crowds and sponsors, champagne seas, fancy new lines of alcohol, influencers, ice sculptures, designer gowns and suits… It was one hell of a way to live.

I’m loath to say Tom was more than a little disappointed to pack up the life but, moving forwards in our relationship and lives, he agreed—especially since kids are a prospect in the near future. And he’s gone back on every word, broken every promise.

I lock the car, and unplug the exterior speakers, yelling “PARTY’S OVER!” at the top of my lungs, and watching the crowd disperse. I storm into the house a moment later, finding Tom slumped over a chaise-longue with a beer in his hand.

“You shady fucking arsehole!” I scream shrilly.

He blinks his chocolate eyes and stirs to life, smiling lazily up at me, his hair stuck to his clammy forehead..

“Hey baby. Thought you were gonna stay out.”

“Oh, did you?” I laugh, eyes widened. “Is that why you let our fifteen million pound mansion turn into this pigsty?” I wave my arms around me, everything so expensive in utter disarray, drinks spilt everywhere, the stench of sweat lingering instead of the room sprays you ensure to use liberally in every room.

Judging by the state of things, apparently there are no rules when you show up here, a heavy bass beat literally rattling the thirty thousand dollar hand blown Italian glass chandelier hanging in your ballroom, which looks like a rubbish pit, marble floor soaked in beer.

“No, baby. It was just a small get together that grew outta hand. Don’t worry baby,” he makes grabby hands at me, but I avoid his dirty paws on my very expensive suit, “I’ll clean.”

“It’s the principle, Tom!” I hurl his bottle away.

“Baby calm down, I’m sorry.” he pleads.

“But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand, or worse, fucking me. And therein lies the issue, boyfriends don't try to trick you!” I say, “Tom, if you loved me you wouldn’t have done this. I can’t see past this.”

“Oh just get a fucking grip doll, it was one party.”

“Yeah, but how many others have there been when I’ve been out? Have you cleared the place up knowing I’d be away for the weekend? I’m sorry, but I want you out by Monday morning.”

This is gonna hit him hard, because I’m not the only person he’s lost lately, but if only he weren’t so shady, it wouldn’t be a damn problem.

I'd spent the night quite happily putting the poisonous old gossip to lie with my girlfriends, raising my final glass to them. Looks like I’ll need them even more, now. “Here's a toast to my real friends. They don't care about the he said, she said.”

They should've, and I should've listened. Friends don’t try to trick you—how could I believe they would, only to come home to every word they said being correct?

No,” his eyes begin to well up with tears as he sinks to his knees on the tiled floor, “I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again. We can do this, I love you so much!”

No he doesn't. He wouldn’t have deceived me and ransacked our home if he did, but I pop open the Dom and paint on a brave face, snatching an empty glass from the hand furnished oak sideboard. “Y’know what? And here's to you...

'Cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do, and we can move on from this can’t we?”

I don’t even manage to suppress my giggles for thirty seconds at his dopey look before I’m bursting out into a fit of laughter. “Hahaha, I can't even say it with a straight face! This is why we can’t have nice things tom and we’ll never be able to because you break them and I have to take them away. Did you think I wouldn't hear all the shit you said about me?”

That’s what they were warning you about all night. You should’ve trusted them when they said he called me a pushover and worse, not believing the tales of his antics. “You broke us, so now I’m taking that away. We’re done.”

“WAIT!” he sobs, the crack in his tenor voice evident as he tugs at his chestnut locks. I don’t budge, though, shoving him off by his oversized pink shirt when he tries to grab me.

“This is why we can’t have nice things, darling. Find me when you’ve grown up.”

I would take an axe to a mended face, but walking away from him, my heels clacking on the marble floor and sounding where he’s drunkenly crying seems to be punishment enough. For the last time with him inside, I’m locking the gates.

[kaylor]

Best lyrics on rep???

in order of appearance:

i bury hatchets but i keep maps of where i put 'em

it's like your eyes are liquor it's like your body is gold (the delivery makes this!!!)

my name is whatever you decide and i'm just gonna call you mine

third floor on the west side me and you/handsome you're a mansion with a view/do the girls back home touch you like i do/long njghts with your hands up in my hair/echoes of your footsteps on the stairs/stay here honey i don't wanna share

i don't like your perfect crime/how you laugh when you lie/you said the gun was mine

gold cage hostage to my feelings

wear you like a necklace

knew it from the first old fashioned we were cursed/we never had a shot gun shot in the dark

you try on calling me baby like trying on clothes

your love is a secret i'm hoping dreaming dying to keep

my love had been frozen/deep blue but you painted me golden

i loved you in spite of/deep fears that the world would divide us/so baby can we dance/through an avalanche

i'm a mess but i'm the mess that you wanted

inescapable/i'm not even gonna try/and if i get burned at least we were electrified

even in my worst lies you saw the truth in me

i woke up just in time/now i wake up by your side/my one and only my lifeline

and therein lies the issue/friends don't try and trick you/get you on the phone and mind twist you (it's just so FUN)

you know i make the same mistakes every time/bridges burn/i never learn/at least i did one thing right

starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night

loves me like i'm brand new (😩)

candle wax and polaroids on the hardwood floor/you and me forevermore

[daily-venomous]

1-Year Retrospective

Oh my Cob I did not think I was still gonna be here

So uh, first off, wow, I’ve really spent a year doing this single handedly, huh

Ironically I started this blog on my brother’s birthday last year (and speaking of which: Tokyo I know you literally never use Tumblr for anything ever but happy birthday by the way), and at the time, it had a completely different purpose!

For those unaware, daily-venomous first started out as we-rate-venomous, which is more or less exactly what it sounds like. I basically rated Venomous (Venomouses? Venomi? Still don’t know the plural for Venomous) based on how horny the artists seemed to be, a concept that completely fell apart the moment I discovered it was literally all Ryann Shannon. Still, I kept the blog running for funsies.

Now we’re here, a full year later, and in that time frame this blog has amassed over 500 followers--something I didn’t even notice until just now, to be honest--which is waaaaay more than I ever thought this silly little blog would get! Heck, my main still hasn’t gotten that many, and it’s been around five times as long now! It’s almost embarrassing to think about how many people see my silly little posts, heehee...

Thing is, therein lies a bit of an issue, and one that I knew would come for this blog sooner or later. See, I’ve been hyperfixated on OK K.O. for a literal year now, but, as all hyperfixations eventually do, it has admittedly started to fade. And when you’re a content creator constantly pumping out material for other fans of your hyperfixation, noticing that hyperfixation fading is a pretty scary thing! Because you know how many people follow you for that specific content, and now it feels like you’re turning your back on them, even if you don’t mean or even want to!

It’s something I’ve dealt with quite a few times now, but it’s never had quite this weight for me before. My OK K.O. content has gained more traction than anything I’ve made prior, and truthfully this little side project of mine has been my first real foray into a gimmick-y sort of sideblog. When you’re in the heat of something like that, it feels like you’ll always get as much joy from your interest as you do then, even though you know you won’t. You rarely if ever truly stop enjoying it, but it’s unlikely you’ll ever be that into it again, you know?

What’s worse, online you know there’s going to be people who are going to lose interest in you the second you admit that you’re just not that into this thing or that thing anymore. And when you’ve got a ton of people looking to you for this thing or that thing, the thought of losing the people who’ve been supporting you before is a scary one. I mean it’s a lot of things--sad, bitter, maybe even anger inducing--but it’s scary above all else.

All this to say, I can’t control the way my brain works, and unfortunately, my brain has more or less jumped ship from OK K.O. at this point. It’ll forever retain mementos from the journey, but as of right now, it has no intention of going back, and you know what? That’s okay.

Now don’t think that I’m just gonna pack up and leave daily-venomous to deteriorate. I put too much work into this baby to let that happen so easily! So I figured, why keep manning the ship all on my lonesome? That, friends, is why...

I’m opening up mod applications! :D

Because let’s face it! This thing was never meant to be run by one person to begin with! I don’t know why I did this to myself and then continued to do it for an entire year!

Well, okay, the blog’s not that hard to actually run. But even so it would be easier with some extra hands on board! It’d definitely be a weight off my shoulders, at least...

And don’t think that if/when I get some mods on here that I’ll disappear completely! I just... won’t be here as often, probably. Even if I’m not active, though, I’ll still support this thing with all I’ve got! It’s practically my baby at this point!

Though, on the off chance that I do become completely inactive, I’ll still be hanging around my main @theshmeepking if you ever just wanna drop by and say hi or anything. Besides, that inbox never gets anything, anyway. It’s sad. Pitiful, even. But yeah! I’m there! I do stuff! Post art sometimes! It’s fun!

...

Heh. A year later and I’m only now actively and shamelessly plugging my main. It’s kinda funny, really. I don’t even remember why I decided to try (and fail) to keep it secret all this time...

...

...ahem. If, uh, you don’t mind me getting kinda personal one last time...

I’ll put it under read more since it gets really, really personal and covers some heavy topics regarding mental health, so if you stop here:

tl;dr: my OK K.O. hyperfixation just had to die out as soon as daily-venomous is set to turn a year old, so I’m looking for mods to try and keep this blog alive.

So...

...

I...uh...

...

...I... was in a really bad spot for most if not all of this blog’s lifespan. Maybe I still am. I’m not really sure to be honest. I don’t know what washed over me, but ever since the tail end of the spring semester of my first year of college (which was around April, May-ish last year, by the way), I’ve been more depressed than I’ve ever been. I kept asking myself, what happened? I used to be the smart and perfect kid. I’m... genuinely scared that I peaked in high school. I guess only time can tell me if that’s true or not, though.

Still, those were the worst months of my life.

Don’t worry, it’s not like I ever thought about hurting myself or anything like that, I just... kind of lost all of my drive. My motivation. My passion. And to be completely honest with you?

I think I’m going through an identity crisis.

Which is... not fun. At all. It just makes me depressed and anxious and questioning if I even know who I am. You know, fun college stuff. I should probably buckle down and finally talk to my doctor about getting a therapist, now that I think about it. God knows I need it. It just... doesn’t feel like I carry the weight I really do. It feels so much lighter than it is, but sooner or later it’s bound to break my back, you know?

Truthfully I don’t know if running this blog has made any of that better or worse. I amazingly got my first ever tumblr anon hate only a week or two after creating this blog, which is kind of surprising considering I had been on this site for like, four years before that. Heck, I still get some hate occasionally, though it’s mainly just people who are upset at me for having an opinion (which they often specifically ask for by the way. like why would you even do that.), lmao.

But then, at the same time, trying to make people laugh, and having those people make me laugh in return, well... it was a nice little oasis of joy, at least for a while. You guys have given me so much support and just when I needed it, too. So... thanks. A lot. Words can’t describe how truly grateful I am for the people that laugh at my jokes, and those that try to make me laugh at theirs! You guys sure can be free serotonin when you want to be, haha!

Like I said earlier, whether I keep contributing to this blog or not, the memories I’ve made running it this past year will always stick with me. Sure there are a couple of bad ones in there, but I think the positive ones outweigh those at least tenfold, and I would have those if it weren’t for you guys.

Take care of yourselves.

-Shmeepy