#jedi battle scars

[calkestis]

#when Cal Kestis met the Fifth Brother 💀 as described in STAR WARS JEDI: BATTLE SCARS

[drawlanie]

nightsister merrin 🔥💚

she's like my wife actually, did u know she blushes green? anyway i love her so much

[alt & closeups after break]

[denndrawings]

Sapphics!!! In MY Star Wars book!!!!!!!!

[agoldengalaxy]

merrin after hooking up with a hot lady:

cal: she must have had a really good nap :)

[chubbyooo]

Jedi Battle Scars Merrical

Cal describing Merrin: she had such a unique voice and pale white Dathomiri skin and she’d been changing up her fashion choices a bit gaining some tinges of green and her hair was in a bun but cal always noticed her messing with that bit at the front

Cal describing Cere: she was a powerful force user that blended in well and was showing signs of age anyway back to Merrin

[ironhoshi]

Just arrived!

Text: For everyone who has gone out in the world and found their own family:

We're never hiding who we really are, ever again.

[incorrectpizza]

okay but "her jedi" "his merrin" if merrical isn't the endgame then WHY

[frunbuns]

Cal and Trilla are like antonyms, kinda. The padawan who's master died for him, and the padawan who's master didn't for hers.

There was nothing either of them could have done to change what happened. It was out of their control. They were just kids, after all. None of it was their fault. It never should have happened to them, but it did. And now they have to live with the consequences.

The anger and betrayal Trilla feels bc her master didn't, and the utter grief and heartbreak Cal feels bc his did. Both so young and scared, going through unimaginable trauma at such a young age. They grieve for what they lost, what they could've had, what could've been, who they could've been.

The way Trilla grew angry and resentful. Vengeful. While Cal became sad and scared. Laden w guilt.

The anger Trilla feels for Cal bc she wishes her master would've died for her. She envies Cal because Cere's actions caused her so much pain.

Cal wishes Jaro Tapal didn't die for him. The guilt eats him up inside. He would do anything to change it. To have his master back and alive. He carries the grief on weary shoulders.

And then Cere takes Cal in. Helps him. And it makes Trilla so, so angry. It's not fair. She's so angry. At both Cal and Cere. It should've been her. And that hurts.

Cal can't forgive himself for what happened, and Trilla can't forgive Cere for what she did.

But then they do.

Or, Trilla seems like she's certainly ready to try. It doesn't undo the pain she's felt, or what Cere did to her, but Cere is sorry and that means something. Regardless, she never gets to try.

Cal survives. Trilla does not.

Antonyms.

[believe-in-alderaan]

Star Wars Jedi: Battle Scars

THOUGHTS are under the cut for SPOILERS!!!! Also, this is not a place to argue with me, these are just me FEEEELINGS. 😬

Okay listen. The writing style was NOT my favorite. That said, I will point out the things I enjoyed about the book.

1. Cal has to stop wearing his rose-colored glasses about his Mantis Family™ which I think is the main focus of this book EVEN THOUGH a lot of it is about Merrin. But yeah Cal gets a lot of reality checks, which this poor boy seems to need desperately.

2. The book shifts focus so you get the thoughts and emotions of every member of the  Mantis Family™

3. Merrin has let her own spark fizzle out because she didn’t know how to nurture it so of course she falls for an extremely flirty Purple Lady that gives her the validation she’s been craving. I probably would have too.

4. Cere and Cal do a lot of necessary talking which is GREAT.

5. Even Greez has a growth moment (moments?) and we love that for him. We hate that he lost his arm though.

6. NOBODY DIES. Thank God.

7. Merrin realizes having a lustful fling with someone is good and fun, but the person, HER person, is Cal. It’s so subtle but beautiful in how it’s written. How Cal keeps trying to ignore his feelings for her, Merrin keeps dismissing the signs, and yet everyone around them can SEE it and KNOWS that perfect connection lives there and that it just needs to be nurtured. Even Fret sees and makes sure to tell Cal how much Merrin needs him. Good shit. GOOD SHIT.

Bottom line: I loved the book, and I loved the last few chapters because... Merrical Forever. ❤

[noodle555]

I can’t wait for the reveal that Cal Kestis is actually a huge goofball and the only reason he was so straight-faced in Jedi: Fallen Order was because of trauma

[ellie-r2]

merrin being confirmed a wlw is something i wanted and i'm so happy i got

[calkestis]

cal kestis telling an inquisitor that he’s got “a face made for comms” is the kind of cannon i need in star wars

[starsscarmyceiling]

have you finished battle scars? 😐

Oh damn nonnie. I mean sit the fuck down and get comfortable because I have a lot of feelings on this. Please keep in mind that these are my opinions and takes. I am not looking to fight or argue. If your experience differs from mine and you have different opinions, you are still totally valid.

Alright my babies, let's get into it...

It’s difficult. I feel like I—well, have a lot of feelings, like I said. And upon further contemplation the more time passes (which I know it’s only been out for like a week and a half, but still), the more aspects of it tend to confuse and baffle me.

Because yes, am I happy there was a Merrical implied ending? I mean, of course. What kind of Merrical shipper would I be if I wasn’t? I guess my main frustrations therein lie with the overall story that was told. Because first of all, I thought the story was kind of weak. But Merrin having her moment and being able to process her trauma? Yes. The Mantis, attempting and sorting out the internal issues amongst them? Yes. Cal, attempting to challenge his beliefs of everything he has been taught within the context of this new galaxy? Yes. Merrin and Cal ultimately choosing to stay with each other because they want to? YES.

I understand why Merrin did what she did throughout the book. She was still in a cycle of heavy depression, and there was a vicious cycle of her not having any source to fill herself back up because one, she never had the opportunity to process her trauma (apparently), and two, nor was there an environment that was actively being fostered for her to do so. The Jedi are known of course, to be in line with that toxic positivity, but what frustrated me was all of the juicy potential that we could have had.

What actually bothered me about her so called “development” is that it happened off screen. It was all like, well just take our word, she is like finding all of these things out over here we promise. Because the whole time she was doing this, it was completely dependent on another character that was not Cal, just some random bitch we don’t care about, instead of coming to these things on her own or with someone she has an actual bond with. The way in which these things came about pissed me off so much because she could have had these moments with Cal, whom apparently she had this amazing developed relationship with, of which we never got to actually see. They went back and forth saying the Mantis crew wasn’t touchy feely, but then talked about how her and Cal had all these long, meaningful conversations…so like…what the fuck were these conversations actually about? They never talked about themselves or their traumas at all???? Merrin literally thinks at one point, up until she met Fret, Cal was the only person she felt like she could share things about herself with…but the way in which this was written really doesn’t make me believe that at all. It was just cheaply done like, lol, well just again trust us that these two people have developed relationship here in the interim. It was like, so unsatisfying to read. At no point did they actually show how and why her and Cal grew to care about one another other than us being told they were. That is what I am truly pressed about.

Also, I truly am not a fan of how Cal’s characterization was handled. I feel like he was just written like he was like seven years old or something. Cal can be awkward and aloof, sure…but I feel like this was just taken too far. Not only did he get cucked (in his own fucking BED; idc I will never get over that), but he also got reduced to a seven year old boy that didn’t have nearly as much depth as he could have had. I liked him questioning his ideology, but I felt like these topics were brought up and not really resolved. When I write Cal, I feel like all of the potential lies in using what has already been given to us. I see Cal as someone who is well versed at understanding people’s emotions, an empath, compassionate, protective, and obviously having such a big heart, especially for those he cares about and loves. And is this because of his psychometry? Or just how he is naturally, who knows it could be a combination of both. Think about it, this is a person that has been experiencing what could be complex adult emotions his whole life. And you’re telling me that he’s still that oblivious? Hmm, I don’t think. And wtf he doesn’t feel that many echoes? Mf was going around that whole game feelings those all the fucking time.

If I could quote a frond, @wayfaringjedi, this was a pretty hot take:

“How much stronger would it have been for Cal to confront that he has to allow her to feel anger to heal, and that anger is a useful emotion

How much stronger would it have been for Merrin to realise that safety exists, that she will not be rejected for being herself or being difficult or being angry, that she has her place

How could it have been for Cal to realise that he had made Merrin feel that he was not a safe person to disclose this to? How would that have challenged his ideology?

Or for Merrin to realise her refusal to try to access peace like Cal does is what alienates her from others?”

And honestly, couldn’t have said it better myself. Like, do you know how many amazing fics I've read out there, where it's Merrin and Cal, getting to have these moments in the engine room? Where it's them having pillow talk and growing closer? God this whole thing really felt like a slap in the face I was not prepared for.

These characters weren’t really handled with care. I didn’t hate the whole book, but I just feel like it just could have been better. I am veryyyyy much interested in what’s going to happen in Survivor, I mean we all are, obviously. I was taking comfort in Merrin saying they were probably never going to see Fret again. I really don’t understand why Fret was there. There is a way to create situations and tension and conflict and making important realizations between them without inserting some random purple bitch. Because istfg, if at some point in Survivor, we have to go like pick up Merrin and she is with Fret, I am going to throw my PS5 out the window and scream and rage in the streets. (Respawnnnnn, I know where you live do not TEST me). I am obviously hoping for canon Merrical, which I do think is a distinct possibility. Because if we don’t, then what the fuck was all of that for?

I feel like BS (heh, aptly named) has suffered the TROS problem of not being able to satisfy anyone lol. Okay because who the FUCK is this book for dude?

Because it’s obviously pissed off all the Merricals. We would have never wanted this.

And it doesn’t really satisfy those who don’t ship either because there is so much Merrical subtext.

But, I mean, I do have to say this book did make me grow to love Greez even more. He was 👑💩 the whole fucking time. Throwing shade at Fret throughout, I was living for it. When he went off on Fret after he woke up from getting his arm cut off, I was fucking eating my popcorn like pop offfff. And I cannot emphasize enough how much I loved Cal in his petty jealous area. Obsessed. He deserves it completely like also go off 👑. Him and Greez were my only bright spots throughout this experience. So glad he got to have his moment too when he "I KNOW HOW IT FEELS!" God I love it. We should all just listen to Greez at all times, like yes please let us drop that Fret bitch off on Batuu with a fruit cake bing bang boom.

I also did enjoy the moments between Cere and Cal together really trying to navigate what it means to be a Jedi in this galaxy in this so entirely dangerous climate for them. Glad Cere is embracing her as a Jedi and using the force again. Totally got the foreshadowing of her being in some kind of archives that we saw in the trailer, preserving the ways of the Jedi. Very fitting for her.

And yesss, there were a few cute moments. Those first two chapters were LIT I gotta say. Like TOGETHER THEY WERE THE LIGHT AND THE DARK CAL WAS THE STAR THAT ILLUMINATED HER SHADOW, that did murder me. And the fucking wound cleaning scene, omfg. I know that murdered ALL of us. Jfc.

I also feel like it would have been a lot more interesting for Fret to just be there to betray them. It would have taught Merrin a lesson of not just diving into something with someone that is entirely based on lust. The fact that she got a redemption was idk…just boring to me I guess. And I know I am biased because I don’t like her, but I mean come on I am a feral fucking Merrical over here is anyone surprised???

Okay lol, have I complained enough? Haha I am guessing you knew what you were getting into anon when you came to my ask box. Lol everyone knows I can never stfu. Anyway, hope that satisfied you.

And hm should you guys be looking out on the horizon for something? Well let’s just say I am definitely using all of these feelings that I have and am putting them somewhere 💅🏻

Anyway, I hope all the Merricals out there are having a great day. Meet me at Applebees and we can cry together 💕💕💕

[denndrawings]

Cal Kestis escaping the garrison compound in Murkhana like

[slightly-ace]

Don't have the funds to buy Survivor, but I've been slowly reading Battle Scars and I wanna know why I barely see anyone talking about it??? like I've only read five chapters so far, but the writing is so good and it gives so much more insight into the Mantis crew- especially Merrin. Like I am losing my mind over this book rn where's the appreciation for it?

[emo-nick-cage]

Reading about Merrin getting her back blown out in the engine room by the buff lesbian was great until I remembered that it was in cals cot, the one he sleeps in, which is rude but…whatever. And then the book reminds us that he has force psychometry and….Merrin why?