#aziraphale has no plans to delete the post

[bingothedingo666]

Some snakey fluff for your Sunday.

Inspired by this tweet.

[embracing-the-ineffable]

Good Omens, staying skeptical, and the mystery and the lie at the heart of Gravity Falls

-Neil Gaiman, 29 June 2023

I recently came across this post by @apathetic-revenant, which goes into extensive detail about a whole secret meta lie generated by Alex Hirsch, creator and head writer of Gravity Falls, midway through the show.

It went like this: the show was very focused on mysteries, codes, ciphers, etc, and early on a character discovered a mysterious journal with an unknown author, and this drove the plot. There were clues placed in the show so that people could solve the journal author's identity, or more probably so that it would all make sense in hindsight after the big reveal. However, the show ended up with a larger-than-expected fandom who started organizing online in a way the creators hadn't expected or planned for, and they were worried everyone would collectively solve the mystery too easily, too soon, and the suspense and appeal of the story gradually unfolding would be lost.

So they took a fake BTS photo that appeared to reveal the journal's author and "leaked" it online. To give it credibility, the show's creator posted "Fuming right now" and then deleted the post soon after, once they were certain it had been seen and screenshots taken. The Gravity Falls fandom then stopped trying to solve the mystery, as they believed the answer had already been revealed. It was a solution "targeted toward delaying that group problem-solving, without actually affecting the experience of any individual person watching the show."

Ok, Good Omens fandom. Are we Gravity Falls all over again? Are we also experiencing meta lies?

Is it possible that Amazon's marketing department has just released a new promotional video about Aziraphale & Crowley's "timeline of interconnectedness" (discussions here and here ) where they honestly:

got several of those timeline dates wrong, including labeling the entirety of seasons 1 and 2 as belonging to the same year?

mixed all the season 1 and 2 clips together so they're completely interconnected and out of the order they were presented to us so far?

didn't consult with Neil Gaiman for even a moment to be sure they had their facts straight? (Or literally anyone else who's spent years working on it? Or even someone who has just watched it once while paying attention?)

didn't understand the way most series tell a story by moving through time in a realistic linear fashion?

When Neil said today that "time is fine" in response to questions about the timeline of interconnectedness video, was he trying to misdirect the fandom away from the mystery that's clearly hidden throughout both seasons (and especially season 2)?

The Good Place seems suddenly more relevant than I'd imagined:

Neil has told us that his Tumblr posts aren't canon. He's also said:

"Never trust the storyteller. Only trust the story."

"Writers are liars, my dear, surely you know that by now? And yet, things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot." -Both quotes are from The Sandman [link]

So here's my plea to whichever part of the fandom might read this: Stay Skeptical. It's wonderful to talk to Neil about his characters, the worlds he's created, his writing process, his views on world events, his sense of humor, his kindness, his compassion and empathy, and his good advice & encouragement for the entire range of the human experience. I respect him very much, and I'm thrilled he's here on social media talking to all of us. (Except he doesn't have social media, obviously. He's like Schrödinger's Social Media Neil-cat.)

I'm looking forward to all the surprises I'm certain are in store for us (and Aziraphale and Crowley) in Good Omens season 3. I trust Neil (and Terry!) to deliver our beloved characters to a very satisfying ending. But I don't trust Neil to honestly answer all of our questions on social media - and neither should you.

Especially not when he's already blamed obvious season 2 changes to the Bentley on the "lighting" (as just one example).

With lots of thanks to the members of the @ineffable-detective-agency - including @bbbitchvibbbez, @kimberleyjean, @maufungi, @noneorother, @theastrophysicistnextdoor, and @thebluestgreen for all their excellent fact-checking, ideas, and discussions!

Interested in diving further into all the Good Omens mysteries? I have more posts plus Clues and metas from all over the fandom, here.

[schattenhonig]

I've not yet thought this through, hopefully I can do so on the go... If not, consider this a brainfart 😜 a very long brainfart. But there's a TL;DR 😇 the long version is under the cut.

TL;DR: Crowley was always rather rational, Aziraphale always rather emotional. This has been going on for 6,000 years and the Final Fifteen™ goes so horribly wrong because they assume that is still the case. But Crowley speaks his feelings for maybe the first time without any plan, any outcome to achieve. And Aziraphale is forced to weigh the very limited options the Metatron has left him. He is forced to plan ahead instead of just following his feelings.

While the first season was about switching obvious signs of their respective sides, in the second season, they didn't swap bodies, they swapped motivations which is much, much harder to tell from the outside. Naturally neither of them notices, neither of them understands, because suddenly everything hurts, their communication doesn't work anymore and they are both forced out of their habits and patterns.

This is the very much longer version I typed out before shortening it to the tl;dr. I didn't delete it because it illustrates my thought process in real time. Proofreading it I can still hear my synapses click 😅

In a previous post I pointed out that usually Aziraphale is the one to act out of emotions, like being worried and helping immediately or being excited and oversharing or overdoing something. That's what they usually get in trouble for: Aziraphale letting his emotions take the reigns. Aziraphale worries about the Now. That's not to say that Aziraphale doesn't care about the consequences, he just focuses on the present to not get overwhelmed.

Crowley on the other hand is a strategic mastermind. He rarely lets his emotions show, let alone influence his actions. He mostly thinks through what is happening and what the consequences will be. He is usually planning way ahead of Aziraphale. Crowley worries about the future. That's not to say he hasn't got any feelings, he just keeps them in check because feeling doubtful and questioning God because something felt wrong probably made him fall.

One is usually on the emotional side, the other on the rational one.

Their usual communication patterns don't work in the Final Fifteen™ because they both still assume the others' sides (emotion/ratio), and what's worse: they switched those without the other knowing.

Crowley is maybe for the first time since before the Fall acting because of his feelings, not caring about how this plays out in the future. He confesses his love to Aziraphale although he knows it won't change anything. He knows he will get hurt, he faces it bravely and of course he is utterly devastated when the blow is delivered, as we all are.

Aziraphale on the other hand is forced to think strategically. The coffee the Metatron offers him is most likely a threat (I have an alternative thought about that, but this is not the post for it), so Aziraphale has to think quickly about what his options are here. He cannot rely on what he feels in this very situation, in this moment. He cannot give in to his feelings about the kiss because the Metatron's offer will have consequences he can no longer ignore. If Crowley doesn't accept the offer, he knows this will make Crowley an enemy in the Metatron's and Heaven's eyes. It will put him in even greater danger.

That's what's going on inside them. Problem is, that is not what the other sees and understands because they both are way out of their usual waters here. They don't communicate openly that Crowley acts on feelings while Aziraphale is forced to plan strategically. They don't know they switched sides/motives.

So, why is that a problem? They did what they did, why does that matter?

Because an action always provokes a reaction, and that is based on more than just facts. It's also based on feelings, emotions, assumptions, pain levels, weather patterns and whatnot.

Put yourself in Crowley's shoes for a moment. For 6,000 years he has known his angel to cling to rational thoughts whenever he is reciting Heaven's BS in their discussions and arguments. The real Aziraphale comes through when he is allowed to feel, to act upon his emotions and emotional needs. So of course Crowley assumes Aziraphale chooses Heaven over him on a whim, on a temporary emotion, without even having thought about it. This is how it has always been in their relationship.

Now, change the point of view and put yourself in Aziraphale's shoes. For 6,000 years Crowley has always carefully considered each sentence, each glance. The things he said and did were premeditated and served a strategic purpose although he didn't usually share it with Aziraphale. When Crowley prodded Aziraphale's emotions, it's usually to tempt him and/or to make him understand or do something according to Crowley's plan. So when he chooses this moment to confess his feelings, Aziraphale hasn't understood yet that Nina and Maggie shifted Crowley's view. Aziraphale has no reason to think this isn't some attempt to tempt him, to make him fall in line with Crowley's plan like so many times before; a plan that Crowley hasn't and won't share with him until the very end.

That's why they are still not communicating properly. They don't explain anything. And that's why Aziraphale seems so harsh, and Crowley is so emotionally vulnerable. For 6,000 years it has been the other way around, we and they got used to it, that's why this stands out. And that's why in the end credits their positions are switched. They didn't swap bodies this time, they swapped motivations.

[tonydaddingham]

LWA: Brief follow-up to your Shax observations:

Gaiman said in response to a recent ask that the /Ars Goetia/ ranks aren't canon in the GO-verse. Furfur was just exaggerating his importance to whomever he was speaking. That's in line with his treatment of occult and religious source material elsewhere.

The precedent for Shax's very targeted brand of telepathy would be S1 Crowley turning the paintball guns into real ones ("I gave them what they wanted"). The show suggests that demons can't read minds in any broad way, but they can pick up desires (Crowley) or weaknesses (Shax) in a narrow band. Shax is more significant as a narrative device, though, since what she picks up are not so much /real/ weaknesses as what her target consciously or subconsciously /believes/ about their own weaknesses, and there's probably a post in there somewhere about how strongly her targets hold those beliefs. Her first attempt to needle Aziraphale about Crowley misfires, but the "emotional support angel" lands. Aziraphale's equivalent is the Jedi mind-trick he pulls in Edinburgh during S2 and in the deleted "Aziraphale Meets the Neighbours" from S1, where he elicits alternative positive emotions and desires that are already there--the gangster career options in the deleted scene, for example.

There's been no consistency at all in the series about whether or not the angels and demons can sense others in the area. In S1, neither Aziraphale nor Crowley pick up on the high-ranking demons and angels /right behind them/ in St. James Park, and Crowley has to make a conscious effort to check for observers before they reverse the bodyswap. But in S2, Aziraphale feels the arrival of the Archangels. So would Crowley be able to detect Shax unless he already knew she was there?

We saw Hastur, Dagon, and the little demon pull the same shape-shifting stunt as Shax when they came to "arrest" Aziraphale in S1. I think the show is deliberately vague about whether they are changing their material forms or just casting a glamour, although in either case it's impenetrable to occult/ethereal beings as well as to humans.

LWA!!!!!!!✨

ahhh thanks for having a gander at it, ive not seen a lot of posts that have focused on shax so it was good to get some thoughts to paper, even the implausible ones - and getting those thoughts bounced back at me is always really helpful!

1.

i had literally saved this ask specifically to talk about in that post, and bloody forgot about it 🥲 so thanks for reminding me!!! it would definitely make sense for ars goetia - in GO!verse - to be biased/inaccurate because it's furfur's retelling (plus, he's not wearing a sash when in hell in front of dagon, but has an ornate one up on earth, which im presuming is to add to the facade...?).

i guess the only point where, feasibly, the two thoughts could align is that if the lesser key of solomon was compiled in 1600s, that would track with furfur being a low ranking demon up until 1941 at the very least... but is there anything to say that he didn't get promoted after 1941? he appears to have moved laterally (?) to recquisitions, and that could mean he has some higher level of responsibility... im unsure. but in any case, id love to see if he possibly returns in s3 - specifically to get his own back after 1941.

in any case, once i spotted the ring on shax (which again im guessing is the same exact one as seen in ep4; it would make sense to call back to it), that seems like a much more logical reason for furfur to be at the bookshop-meet with dagon and beelzebub, than him suddenly having a rank that puts him on any kind of level playing field with dagon and beelzebub...

so, in summary, shax somewhere in ep5/6 makes the call, furfur informs dagon, and they plan to come up to earth. dagon also notes that heaven and hell are at war, so perhaps that alarm came in around the same time, and accounts for why beelzebub arrives separately to the other two. idk - i guess possibly the exact detail isn't hugely important? (famous last words) but if shax does end up ruling hell, or at least getting a hefty promotion (duke?), and furfur helps get her there... maybe we do see a rank shift for him too, but later on in the story? exciting!!!

2.

thanks for summarising this so succinctly, that really helps! i definitely agree that she seems to have a knack for what her target might perceive to be their weaknesses, failings, or insecurities - this seems especially true for aziraphale, which i looked at in another post relatively briefly:

and they are definitely traits in aziraphale that have been mocked elsewhere - predominantly by heaven/the archangels - and i think it's fair to say that aziraphale holds these 'weaknesses' quite close to the chest. that being said, on the last one, sure - aziraphale does appear to have some confidence that crowley likes him, that he's definitely crowley's type (ie. due deference to the legendary cunty eyebrow)... but - from aziraphale's perspective - what is the motive for that? to me, the 'emotional support angel' reads like aziraphale knows that crowley might love him, but does he secretly worry that it is out of pity, or for lack of a better option? or, is it that when mixed in with all of the other things shax mentions, aziraphale thinks, "hang on... why would he want me?" i am unwell

as for maggie... sure, it might be that shax is just needling at maggie because she's irritated her. but i find it interesting that maggie's insecurities, as shax is sensing them to be, are also things that at some point or another in s2, could be attributed to crowley. bit of stretch, i grant you, but also makes sense.

anyway, back on the main topic; idk if im just Missing The Point, but the fact that shax seems to know the detail, the specifics, of why aziraphale or maggie might have these 'weaknesses' still doesn't make sense to me. taking aziraphale out of the equation for a moment, and focusing solely on maggie; sure, maggie might be lonely, or feel alternatively like she's a failure (and this is what shax is picking up telepathically/empathically), but why would shax necessarily know it's because of noone visiting her shop, and her being unable to afford the rent? if shax doesn't have your bog-standard mind-reading telepathy, how would she know this?

even if maggie decides within herself to not see these as weaknesses, it's still information that we as the audience know is correct, same as maggie and nina, and shax weaponises it. i don't think there hasn't been, so far, any narrative explanation for why shax would even care to know this level of detail about maggie (other than, i guess, that her shop used to be part of the bookshop?).

(But now that i think about it, im suddenly very aware of these two points about maggie's story being mentioned externally from the private aziraphale-maggie conversation in the record store in ep1, and specifically near or including nina:

not going to turn this ask response into a speculation on nina, but in the context of informants and recruiting them, this is... interesting. to me, anyway.)

also think there's a separate post to be had about when crowley's ability to read desire similarly does and doesn't land - and how this might possibly inform on the success of his temptations (you might not have mentioned the antichrist fiasco in this ask, LWA, but by god am i going to do it for you - it's tradition now).

and also when aziraphale appears to try manipulating mood, but this too doesn't find its target... hmm. wonder if it's a more demonic trait than an angelic one, it at least a trait aziraphale has unlocked it but 'uses it for good' (lmao debatable).

3.

true. it does seem at least it has to be a conscious effort to detect them - the only times that seem to be based on a sense of foreboding/gut instinct/an undefined Sense are:

crowley's Something Wicked This Way Comes moment in ep5, and that in particular feels like it's due to the sheer scale of it - "coming in waves" (but this might actually just simply echo his sense of the hellhound finding the antichrist/sensing satan's anger in s1; that it's not the entity he's sensing, but a higher malevolent energy?)

michael and shax both are somewhat able to recognise or sense (or maybe actually smell, it seems, in shax's case?) gabriel in the bookshop, even if they don't/can't link it to jim or the fly

also going to tentatively include "you've gone" / "can't find you!" from the bookshop fire; i realise this could be very literal, that crowley can't see or hear aziraphale in the bookshop, and he's jumped to his conclusion out of panic/rage/despair, but it could also read that he somehow can't sense him? ✨update, @aq-uatic come through with the goods✨

it's difficult to determine 100% what sound cues might be diegetic to the show - specifically the miracle chimes, and the herald tune - because if they are, that goes a long way to explaining how a) aziraphale knows the archangels are coming, and b) at the very beginning of s1 he seems to react to the miracle chime in the sushi bar... but given that for the first example aziraphale asks maggie, "cant you feel them?", it does make me question it. in fact, are they audible cues only for the audience, and therefore in-show is aziraphale reacting only to a sense, a Disturbance In The Force if you like, rather than audio?

i think they are indeed non-diegetic, because watching back the 1967 scene, there is a miracle chime just before crowley gets into the bentley, and then when he gets in, he actually appears startled to see aziraphale physically sat there. now, this could be the whole demons-cant-sense-angels thing, or because they are actually so similar and non-threatening to each other that crowley doesn't register it, but regardless - he doesn't appear to react to an audio cue, suggesting that they are non-diegetic.

iirc, all the other instances where we do see aziraphale or crowley sense other entities appear to be because they can literally hear or see the other entity themselves

s1, when aziraphale realises crowley has arrived at the tavern/globe/bastille/church - hears him before he sees him

s1, when gabriel and beelzebub arrive to the airbase; thunder and lightning strike from gabriel, and then beelzebub follows up from hell

s1, when crowley-as-aziraphale is literally jumped on by angels in their coveralls, and when aziraphale-as-crowley gets whacked by the demons in disguise

s2, ep1, when crowley lowers his newspaper because shax arrives (and im presuming crowley sees her appear), and when crowley knows shax is behind him - can hear her voice from the phone as well as out loud

s2, ep2, when crowley enters the barn; the archangels definitely don't recognise him as a demon, and only notice him altogether when he enters the room shouting - certainly don't sense him from outside

s2, ep3, when muriel arrives, and later on when shax knocks at the window of the bookshop

s2, ep4, when aziraphale doesn't sense that the hitchhiker is shax (albeit she's in complete disguise*), and then later when furfur arrives at the theatre and then comes into the dressing room

s2, ep5, when aziraphale only really seems to notice the demons when crowley points out that they are literally crawling at the windows, and crowley spots muriel chilling across the street with a book

s2, ep6, when the demons arrive in the bookshop, and when metatron enters the bookshop separately.

so yeah, suffice to say that this has near enough answered the first couple of questions for me in the original shax post - that there's no clear reason why aziraphale or crowley would have detected shax lurking around if she hadn't wanted to be seen. still gives food for thought on the others, though.

*4.

this makes sense!!! does make me wonder about the comment shax makes in ep5, about "masks will be provided for those unable to... blend in." and sure, there was the teeny-weeniest little explanation for this from a filming perspective, but within the story? is it possibly only an ability shared amongst the more powerful demons (given that the ones that stormed the bookshop were, by crowley's assessment, "practically the Damned"? hmmm again✨

[primewritessmut]

hey i'm someone other than punch-love! 12, 13, 14

Hi! Although now I know that we are all distracting each other from writing and I somehow think that's worse...?

12. How Many Different Fandoms Have You Written For?

Oh, yikes. I'm going to just count posted works because if I tried to calculate all the fanfics that have flitted across my brain I'd probably die before I managed it.

I think I've posted fic for 8 fandoms: harlivy, good omens (crowley/aziraphale obs), malevolent (john/arthur), venom/symbrock, spideypool, harry potter (drarry), carry on (simon/baz mostly), and my current hyperfixation which is, as you know, lokius.

SOME of that work has since been deleted, for reasons, so there's only 6 fandoms on my AO3 dashboard.

13. What's Your Goal For Your Writing In The Future?

It's two-fold!

I want to finish an original novel. I usually stall out around 40k and then start something else. I actually got into fanfic just to see if I could finish something (surprise, I can) so that's still my goal in the future.

Keep writing! I went through a long, dark period of my life where I wrote next to nothing except what was required of my job. Which was just enough to keep the embers glowing, but that's it really. I genuinely plan to never let that happen again.

14. Favorite Works From A Fellow Writer?

The horrible secret is that I write a lot more fanfic than I read. I wish I could shout out a million fanfic authors here but I'm just not that widely read. Secondarily, a lot of my bookmarks are in a fandom that I just cannot participate in anymore so it's hard to say, "Oh yeah, these are great" because they give me hives now.

HOWEVER

THAT BEING SAID

Here's what I've got:

Black Ace by @punch-love (yes, spideypool makes me want to scream nowadays but 10/10 would come back for this space opera)

spirit box by @punch-love (another one that feels like it was specifically written FOR ME)

Both of your advent fics. (It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like %@$&*mas and The Time of Miracles again, 10/10 would return to Spideypool to see how the Die Hard fic ends)

Among the Stars by @mirilyawrites (super creative, cosmic monsterfucker vibes)

I wish I read more (and had a better memory) so I could shout out more authors but... alas.

x

[madfoxx]

listen i loved s2 as much as the next guy but some of the plotholes are just hilarious to me because they employ the fanfiction logic of “i want this scenario to happen so it will just happen” and i feel people aren´t talking about it enough, so here are some of the things that made me go “oh, no beta read huh.”:

1) first question: why the fuck did gabriel delete his memory?? seriously though, i havent seen one single post about this, but i just dont understand!? So, heaven threatens to fire gabriel and delete his memory, which, okay, bad news. and then his solution is to....delete his own memory for them, so now he doesnt remember his own name let alone the love of his life, beelzebub, who he planned to run away with?? WHY??? he left heaven immediately afterwards anyways it literally made no sense and just caused major problems for everyone involved. But i guess the answer is: we needed him to have no memory for the story to happen so that makes sense by ao3 standarts

2) on a related note, why was he naked?? he could have just speedwalked outta heaven in his suit with the matchbox in his pocket, so why strip down?? Again, no reason, but arent you glad we got to see john hamms naked butt, so lets pin that on gabriel being an sweet dumb himbo maybe

3) also, how did he find aziraphales shop while not even remembering his own name? Dont know dont care, googlemaps probably.

4) not really a plothole, but that whole Maggie and Nina getting locked in the bookshop thing was the tropiest trope they pulled this season and it didnt even work because we got nothing from that scene, not even one hearfelt deep conversation

5) this one is a bit pedantic, but how is it that a demon with magical powers has to live in his car? i guess its a character thing and we need to see him at his lowest point but he could literally just miracle himself an enormous pot of gold if he wanted to

6) why would beelzebub order an attack on the bookshop and risk gabriels life? why didnt they simply explain the situation to aziraphale & crowley? well you see we didnt want the story to be over after 1 episode and also we needed a finale of some sort.

7)  i mean the whole attack on the bookshop was just....a thing that happened i guess. kinda strange the demons (especially shax who seems to have at least 1 spare braincell) would dare to kidnap an archangel in the first place. isnt he like, insanely powerful? and they didnt even know he lost his memory, so to them he was just an archangel hanging out on earth because he wanted to. how did they think storming the bookshop and taking him prisoner would go down?

8) tbh i dont really understand why heaven wanted gabriel back so much they would threaten to destroy anyone helping him and then....they just let him just go without any problems whatsoever? feels incredibly anticlimactic and illogical to me but i suppose the season needed some kind of threat to make the romantic elements work

9) this might actually get resolved in s3 but i cant believe Upstairs wants aziraphale - an angel who spend years deceiving heaven and overall just sucked at his job because he was too busy trying to fuck a demon - they want him to be the new supreme archangel of heaven. he literally stopped the last apocalypse a couple of days ago and now he´s in charge of armageddon 2.0? that´ll for sure take some explaining!

there´s a lot more stuff, but these are the most obvious things that have been on my mind since s2 aired. i also want to reiterate that i do love many things about this season despite the writing being all over the place. and no, i dont believe that all inconsistencies will be magically explained away by s3. i think it boils down to neil gaiman saying “lets make a big budget 6 chapter fanfic so david tennant and michael sheen can kiss each other on the mouth. also not beta we die like eric the disposable demon” and i can respect that. 

[anwynb2003]

Alright, Good Omens Fic Idea - SPOILERS -

Because Apparently I’m Still Hyperfixated - SPOILERS -

*I was halfway done this post and accepted deleted the draft- please share in my pain I’m so upset I have to rewrite all this ;-;*

So:

Aziraphale’s up in heaven. It’s been maybe a few weeks since the S2 finale, and things are just about ready for the Second Coming.

Using the small amount of input he could give as the Supreme Archangel, our boy pointed out the moral quandaries of impregnating a teenager without giving them a say in the matter, and so heaven’s taking a page out of Hell’s book and just creating the baby themselves to be sent down to Earth (and just adopted regularly, none of that baby-swapping wickedness).

Aziraphale knows every moment of this child’s life off by heart; he’s read the plans dozens of times, you see. The second Christ will meet an end very similar to that of their first incarnation, though even sooner. A legal murder, though one that feels like it shouldn’t be.

He’s tried to find a way around it, pitched dozens of alternatives to killing the child, but has now realized that even as Supreme Archangel, his power is extremely limited.

So, he calls up the one angel that he feels is best for the job he needs done, and their conversation goes as such:

Aziraphale: Do you trust me?

Muriel: Of course, sir!

Aziraphale: Good, take this baby and this letter to this address, and then stay inside because heaven will definitely deem you a traitor for this, but don’t worry I have a plan.

Muriel: …okay.

And so, Muriel takes the new baby Christ down to Earth, and straight to Crowley’s flat.

Dude obviously asks wtf is going on when the sweet little angel who’d taken over his angel’s bookshop showed up at his door with a baby, and Muriel hands him the letter, which consists of just three sentences:

I’m sorry. Keep them both safe, please. From everyone.

Crowley groans, long and loud, but hurries Muriel and the baby inside; there are three things Crowley has a soft spot for, and those are his car, his angel, and kids. He may have been furious with the second one at the moment, but that wasn’t any of the others’ faults (and yes, he was aware that Muriel wasn’t too much younger than himself, but darn it they acted like a kid sometimes and it was endearing, dammit!)

He asks Muriel to further explain what’s happening, as the note was no help, but all they can tell him is who the baby is.

Crowley glances at the baby boy in the basket and gets a horrible sense of deja vu.

Why are the occult/ethereal babies always his problem to deal with?

Time Skip- 11 Years Later

Aziraphale hesitates outside the door of Crowley’s flat, but does eventually end up knocking.

He hears his old friend calling something about “Maggie, this is a bad time-” as he answers the door, but when he sees who was knocking he stops dead.

Aziraphale gives an awkward hello, and Crowley sighs, inviting him in. Their conversation goes as such:

Crowley: It can’t be time already.

Aziraphale: It’s not! Not yet, anyway, and hopefully the time will never come, I just… wanted to check in.

Crowley: Right. Check in.

Aziraphale: Yes, so where is he?

Before Crowley can answer, they both hear the door to the flat open and shut. “Dad? I’m back!”

Crowley sighs, almost looking reluctant to reply as he can feel the angel staring at him in surprise, but he does anyway: “In the kitchen!”

A moment later, a young girl appears in the kitchen as well, clutching a book in her hands that Aziraphale recognizes as one of his.

The girl eyes him almost warily, but Crowley grabs her attention. “‘S that another book?”

The girl nods sheepishly. “Aunty Muriel thought I’d like this one.”

“You say that every time,” He almost chuckles, before waving her off. “Off you pop, get started on it, we’re eating out with Maggie and Nina tonight.”

The girl seems to immediately perk up at that and, giving Aziraphale one more searching stare, turns and leaves the kitchen, heading off to start reading her book.

Crowley now acknowledges Aziraphale’s shock:

Crowley: What, being a girl not a part of your side’s plans for her?

Aziraphale: Oh no, they were, it was just supposed to be in a few more years.

Crowley: *shrugs* You said protect her from everyone, that includes herself. Why do you look so shocked, then?

Aziraphale: She called you “Dad”. And “Aunty Muriel”?

Crowley: Give me a baby and a disgraced angel and no instructions beyond “protect them”, what were you expecting?

Aziraphale cannot answer this.

So, yeah, that’s the entire narrative I have, beyond a realization later on that when Jay (the name Christ picked for herself at the age of seven) was little, her Dad told her stories about the adventures he and “his angel” had been on, and Jay’s realization that the stranger in their kitchen was her Dad’s angel.

Idk, I just find it cute. They’ll act like divorced Dads who clearly still care about each other and want this arrangement to work, but are also both deeply hurt by whatever the other did to end it, until they actually talk to each other and make up, all while trying to avoid the Messiah role heaven wants to force on Jay.

(Also the reason heaven made Jay trans was that so she’s experience some of the worst parts of humanity- she was supposed to be sent to/adopted in Florida -and still be completely willing to die for them)

The end, Ima sleep now, I’m only 50% awake as is

[ao3feed-ineffablehusbandz]

i have spent all my years in believing you

i have spent all my years in believing you

by braveatironheart

This is the story of how Aziraphale and Crowley inadvertently end the war between Heaven and Hell. The story of how they – indirectly, at least – avert the Apocalypse is in there, too, but I suspect you already know that one.

If pressed and in an uncharacteristically honest mood, Crowley would have to admit he’d fallen for Aziraphale in the Garden of Eden.

Things were not so straightforward for Aziraphale, who spent six millennia trying to ignore his growing fondness for the demon. He supposed the first time he’d felt drawn to Crowley would have been in Rome, eight years after the death of Christ. And what had he done? Invited him to lunch.

It was no wonder, really, that he kissed him two thousand years later. How else was one to respond when one’s hereditary enemy saved one’s life and one’s books?

5945 years after they meet, Crowley and Aziraphale confess their love for one another. They certainly aren’t going to let anything get in the way, no matter what Heaven and Hell throw at them.

aka

Good Omens, except the only plot is Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship. Complete with original, lockdown-era plot.

Words: 3556, Chapters: 1/12, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), God (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Beelzebub (Good Omens), Michael (Good Omens), Sandalphon (Good Omens), Uriel (Good Omens), Background & Cameo Characters

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), The Ineffable Plan (Good Omens), Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Incoherent Crowley Noises, Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Crowley's Bentley (Good Omens), Footnotes, 6000 Years of Pining (Good Omens), 6000 Years of Friendship (Good Omens), 6000 Years of Repression (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley Through The Ages (Good Omens), Biblical Inaccuracies (Abrahamic Religions), Pre-Relationship, Love Confessions, Getting Together, Virgin Aziraphale (Good Omens), Virgin Crowley (Good Omens), Making an Effort (Good Omens), Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex, Crowley Does "Weird Things" With Tongue (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Implied Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Sex in the Bentley (Good Omens), Masturbation, Biting, Light Bondage, Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), The Dowling Years (Good Omens), Deleted Scene: Aziraphale's Bookshop 1800 (Good Omens), Anniversary, Aziraphale and Crowley Like Holding Hands (Good Omens), Arguing, Break Up, Apologies, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Back Together, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Episode: Good Omens: Lockdown, Moving In Together, Living Together, Crowley's Plants (Good Omens), The Night At Crowley's Flat (Good Omens), Baking, Trials, Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), God Ships Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), The Fall (Good Omens), South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), Anxiety, Sexual Tension, Emotional Intimacy, Romance, Sappy, Attempt at Humor, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Domestic, Happy Ending, POV Alternating

From https://ift.tt/opkd9DE https://archiveofourown.org/works/47376040

[ticketybooangel]

Rules of the Road

I'm Moss, and I've been roleplaying online for nearly twenty years, now. I know myself well enough to let potential RP partners know the following:

I reply slow in conversation. Please give me the grace of patience.

I reply quickly to posts. Please don't think this means you must do the same; you'll reply when you get to it and I'll survive until then.

I am not comfortable writing with anyone under eighteen. This is not negotiable. I am 30+ years old.

I prefer multi-paragraph writing for myself, but our styles don't have to match. As long as I've got something to respond to in your post it could be a single sentence and I'd be happy.

Now for the actual rules. Don't consider all of these fully stone-set except for the first three, but do consider all of the rest of them things that would require discussion and planning to bend.

No-one under 18. This is not negotiable. It is also listed multiple times in multiple locations to hammer home the point.

No out-of-character shitheadery. This is intentionally left as a vague term because I'd hope most people can guess what constitutes being a shit head. I don't reblog call-out posts but I do block liberally.

No terfs. I'm a proud transsexual and my favorite tool is the block button.

No God-modding. I'll move my character, you move yours.

Not so much a rule as a request, but please don't use micro fonts with me. My eyesight is bad. Bad-bad.

I ship chemistry--and that goes the same for Aziraphales as it does for everyone else. Everyone who writes Aziraphale writes him differently and I love that, but my interpretation of Crowley may not be compatible with every interpretation of Aziraphale.

This said I love shipping. I'm multi-ship and duplicate friendly. Every thread is its own distinct universe and never the any will cross unless it'd be fun as hell to do so.

I write a generally ambiguously-timelined Crowley; has X important thing happened or not? Dunno--check with me ooc and we'll decide if it'd be more fun for something or other to have happened already or not.

I prefer to keep NSFW under read-more cuts; whether or not you do is up to you.

No NSFW gifs in threads, please. It's an easy way to get your blog deleted. However, if it's something you're really sold on then talk to me and we may be able to migrate a thread to e-mail. As a note, this is also somewhere I'd be happy to write.

There is nothing your character is not allowed to do to mine so long as it is feasible that it could be done. When in doubt, ask first; I promise it won't ruin the surprise because while I may now know what's coming, I won't necessarily know how it's coming.

No tw's apply to me, but if there are any you need tagged and you don't feel like having them out in the open on your blog (a fair thing; you don't owe me or anyone insight into what upsets you) just let me know on anon and I'll do my best to tag things that fall under it. This stands as a within reason segment to be held at my own discretion.

There are very few fandom-based characters I won't interact with. We don't have to be in the same universe, and I'm always happy to have someone wind up where they shouldn't be. That being said the two fandoms that I personally will not write with characters from are: Axis Powers Hetalia and anything whose source material is produced by JK Rowling.

Not a rule per-se so much as a point I'd like to reiterate: original characters--particularly Good Omens OCs--get priority when I'm doing replies. I love original characters so much, and that absolutely includes child-of-blank characters.

These rules are likely to be updated as needed, but I think this gets the general gist. If you're ready to plot, feel free to do so, or if you want to send an ask in-character or reply to an open please have right at it!

[sky-neverending]

thank you for the tag @queereldritch!!!!

When did you post your first ever fanfic?

sometime in mid to late 2021? i don’t have the exact date cause it’s been deleted and so has my wattpad account i think

First char you wrote for?

I’m just gonna come right out and say that the first fandom i was ever actively in was DSMP, so my wattpad era had be writing about Ranboo. I’m learning to not be ashamed of that.

Main Character(s) you write for now:

I genuinely don’t have just one character i write for all the time given how many fandoms I’m in. So. I can’t give a straight answer to that one lol

Characters you haven't written about before but plan on writing about soon?:

ermmm prob Theuden and Isran from Heir's Game?? i wanna write them i just dont know how lmao.

Fandom(s) you're currently writing for?:

*takes deep breath* Stanger Things, Six of Crows/Shadow and Bone, Newsies, Young Royals, Shadowhunters, Good Omens and occasionally Heartstopper. I think that's all but don't hold me to it.

Platonic pair(s) you're currently writing for?:

mostly it's all of the Crows together, Robin & Steve, Max & Eddie, Eddie, Steve, & the kids.

Romantic pair(s) etc. you're currently writing for?:

Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler, Prince Wilhelm/Simon Eriksson, Davey Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Aziraphale/Crowley, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, I would keep going but I'll spare you lol.

Your top 3 tags on Ao3 if you post on Ao3:

Non-character related tags would be Fluff (16), Angst, (13), and Drabble (10).

Where you post:

My Ao3

Snippet of the WIP you're currently working on:

umm i have a few so im just gonna pick one

Warmth filled the room, a light shining from above him. He closed his eyes, squeezing them tight. “Go away.” A familiar voice replied, one soft and full of what seemed to be heartbreak. “Oh, Crowley…” “No,” Crowley interrupted. “No, you don’t get to do this.” He was crying again. Rage filled his voice, overtaking the heavy sobs that caught in his throat. “You don’t get to show up now and save the day. Not while you’ve been gone for a month. A month, Aziraphale.” “Crowley, I’m sorry-” “No. You don’t get to be sorry.” Crowley finally looked up, coming face to face with the person who had led him so far into his own head that he couldn’t live anymore. “You don’t get to come here after everything and pretend I matter to you.” Aziraphale’s mouth fell open, shaped into the little downturned oval. “But you do matter to me.” “Then why did you leave?”

no tags today, just reblog and join in if you want!!! i hope to see you!

❦ ➷ get to know your fellow fanfic writers better ༊ ✧.*

I had fun doing this! ♡

when did you post your first ever fanfic?

January 2017, I think. wow, it’s been 6 years! (no, I’m not giving you my Wattpad username)

first character you wrote for:

Joker. it was during my Wattpad era. I have zero regret, but I’m not giving the link lol

main character(s) you’re currently writing for:

Daniel Harrow & Henry Creel (as in separate fics that aren’t crossover, but wouldn’t it be nice if I wrote a crossover with these two…)

character(s) you haven’t written about before but plan on writing about soon:

Henry Morgan (from Forever tv) !! also, I’d love to write more about Captain Jack Sparrow

fandom(s) you’re currently writing for:

Harrow & Stranger Things

platonic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Daniel Harrow & Simon Van Reyk (Harrow), Henry Creel & Eleven (Stranger Things)

romantic pairing(s) you currently write for:

I know it’s been more than a year since my last update so I can’t say currently, but Loki/Mobius. other than that the more recent one is Will Byers/Mike Wheeler but even then, it’s still rare. so I guess I focus more on writing platonic relationships lately (honestly it just depends on the characters whom my hyperfixation is on and whether their relationship with the other characters is romantic or platonic.)

your top 3 tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3):

whump, hurt/comfort & angst

your current platform where you post your works:

tap HERE for my AO3

snippet of the wip you’re currently working on:

should be posted hopefully within the next few days!

But Harrow forced a smile as he greeted Simon with a hug. And when he hugged Simon, his smile became real. And for a moment Harrow could forget the guilt and the shame he carried with him. For a moment, he could really breathe, knowing that Simon was safe. In his arms.

* aka a fix-it fic where Simon lives.

🏷️ no pressure tags at random: @foodiewithdahoodie @queereldritch @bebataylor84 @ohfallingdisco @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @sillylittlerock @jcbbby @maladaptive-jcb @highwarlockofphilly @can-of-pringles @mirilyawrites @chaos-monkeyy @harringroveera @medium-rare-bimbo @deliaqbower @ripcreel @rins-love-wins @okilokiwithpurpose @lokisgoodgirl @loki-is-my-kink-awakening @daddiesdrarryy @loki-hargreeves @zodiyack @cha-melodius @insert-witty-user-name-here @dewdropreader @blackbirdofasgard @mimisempai @underwhelmingalchemist @excusemefangirlhere @abitofboth @worstloki @littlekinng @andiwriteordie @cluelessbees @suzieburself @waroftheposes @drop-of-infinity @bookinit02 @bizarrelittlemew @ghostalservice @pilkingtonian @thefatedthoughtofyou @brbsoulnomming @spooky-brakers @cosmicanamnesis @cranberrymoons @onirislanding @thefreakandthehair @thisapplepielife — if I didn’t tag you and you’d like to join, please do! everybody is welcome

[ingravinoveritas]

Did you happen to see ALs short lived IG story yesterday? She’d posted a screenshot of a message between her and MS. Nothing major just him saying he was finished filming and he was heading home and it was pizza night, followed by loads of kissy faces. She commented over the post something like, “when it’s your favourite night of the week” or words to that effect. Puzzled as to why it was quickly deleted and how nobody else seems to have seen it/mentioned it. Seems like she was trying to copy GT and DT, with their recent wordle texts, but no one seemed to mention it, even over on the bird app. Maybe didn’t get the attention she thought it would. I know DTs been trending a lot lately, and sometimes GT can cause him to blow up on the bird app depending on what she posts photo wise etc. Maybe ALs trying to get some of the same attention and it fell flat?

Hi, Anon! I know you sent this like two weeks ago, so apologies for me taking a while to answer it--I wanted to answer the Anon about Georgia’s #MarriedSexting screenshots first, so that this one would have some context.

Backdating from when you sent me this message, the day AL posted the story you mentioned would be January 27th, just four days after Georgia posted the “what’s for breakfast?” text. (Unfortunately, I did not get to see the Insta story myself, so if you or anyone else has a screenshot, please do feel free to DM me, or send it in with an ask.) 

That being said, my first thought on reading your message was that it seems like AL was copying Georgia yet again, which is nothing new under the sun. I think there are also a few possibilities for what could’ve happened and why the Insta story was deleted so quickly. One is that Insta lets you choose who you want to share stories with, so perhaps AL meant for it to be shared with Close Friends and shared it publicly by mistake. Or maybe it was a case of Michael probably being a lot less agreeable than David about having his texts out there, and consequently either he or PR asked her to take it down. Another thought I had was that AL has hardly posted anything since Christmas, so it could be that she decided (or PR told her) to wait to post until Michael’s birthday the following week.

The thing is, some of what she did post on Michael’s birthday didn’t really get much attention, either, and was just downright...underwhelming, in my opinion:

Once again...I am confused. The first picture is the same as every picture of AL and Michael, in that both she and he have the same tight-lipped smile, with his noticeably not reaching his eyes. And there could not be anything more generic about the “Happy Birthday, my darling!” caption, which just feels so...planned. Like a post you’d make and a caption you’d write days in advance and queue, rather than something spontaneous and heartfelt. The generic feeling of the caption also stands in stark contrast to the specificity of Georgia calling Michael David’s “other wife” in her birthday post.

And the second picture...Lord help me, because all I can say is that the first thing that came to mind when I saw the word “petal” was a really hot MS/DT fic where David is topping and calls Michael that as he is bringing him over the edge. I seriously doubt that is what AL was referencing, of course, but I’m fairly sure she was also not referencing an Aziraphale/Crowley fic of mine that is also called “Petal.” I mean...what are the odds, really. Haha.

It’s also interesting that, from what I’ve read and had said to me since this was posted, while “petal” can be considered a term of endearment in Britain, it runs the risk of coming across as condescending, depending on how it’s said and who’s saying it, especially if that person is a non-native speaker. And that was indeed how I perceived it in this post. But what really didn’t help was that AL chose such a bizarre picture to go along with it. It’s (again) a picture of Michael taken from far away--which seems to be her specialty--but it’s not at all giving the “romantic glance from across the blossoms” vibes that I’m guessing were intended. Because when you look at his expression up close, Michael actually looks, well...visibly annoyed.

I just...why? Why would you choose these two pictures? Of all the pictures she has of/with him, she chooses one from months ago (presumably the night of the NTAs, which is just...we know what happened there, and that she is still not pulling focus away from Michael and David)...and then one where Michael looks like someone just slayed the Welsh dragon right in front of him. If as you mentioned, Anon, the aim was to get attention, it really does seem like it fell flat. Georgia’s “other wife” post was the highlight of Michael’s birthday and even got the attention of the media. AL’s post/Insta story...didn’t.

Even more interesting is that Georgia’s post made it painfully obvious that whatever is between Michael, David, and her is between the three of them, and AL is not a part of that. This goes back to what I said above, about the generic nature of AL’s caption calling Michael “darling,” versus the intimate nature of Georgia’s, where “other wife” is a specific and personal nickname. Neither of these posts said very much, number of words-wise...but at the same time, both posts said a lot. I’m just not sure that it was exactly what some people were intending.

Ah, well. So much weirdness abounds these days, and it’s only getting weirder. It will certainly be interesting to see what (if anything) Georgia and Michael post on David’s birthday in April, and what else happens from here on out...

[izzyspussy]

March 2021 Roundup

Fanfiction

Twenty Seconds IT (Muschietti), Richie/Eddie

The first time they say it out loud. Kind of.

Meeting Good Omens (TV), Aziraphale/Crowley

Aziraphale and Crowley's first kiss.

bigger, badder, cooler IT (Muschietti), Richie & Stan

When Stan comes into their dorm room at 9:46 a.m. his curls are in a riotous disarray, his shirt is buttoned wrong, and there are three different shades of lisptick smeared all over his face and neck. His eyeliner, however, is perfect.

Pisces IT (Muschietti), Richie & The Losers

The Losers plan a surprise party for Richie's birthday.

No Match for The Love IT (Muschietti), Richie/Eddie

Richie wakes up naturally to peace and quiet on the day of their one year anniversary, which, quite frankly, is the opposite of what he was expecting.

(Your Love) Thawed Out IT (Muschietti), Richie/Eddie

They're probably going to get murdered by a fucking clown demon tomorrow, so Richie and Eddie celebrate their last few hours on earth by having the best sex of Richie's life. It doesn't seem to matter very much to Richie's mind, body, or soul that he's supposed to be straight.

Myliobatoidei Buzzfeed Unsolved, Shane/Ryan

“I am not a demon,” Shane insists. There, in his bathrobe, with his horns and scales and pitch black eyes, Shane insists that.

Daisy Chain Buzzfeed Unsolved, Shane/Ryan

1: "Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2am?" 2: “I’ve never killed anyone before.” 3: saying something dangerous like 'I love you' 4: “I didn’t intend to kiss you.”

October Buzzfeed Unsolved, Shane/Ryan

When Ryan brings Shane the coffee he’d picked up for him on the way in to work, and Shane looks up at him and smiles, Ryan just has to kiss him.

Letterman Jacket Buzzfeed Unsolved, Shane/Ryan

The demon inside Shane likes Ryan almost as much as Shane does.

⚝ 

Videos

Birthday Tag 2021 • Vlog

#PlanWithMe April 2021 Setup: Paleolithic Art Theme • BuJo

⚝ 

New Tags

I am in the process of deleting one of my sideblogs and consolidating select content from it onto my main. So, for your convenience, here is a handy list of my non-fandom content tags!

writing process | media literacy | music | thirst tag | social issues | autism tag | children are people tag | idols | quotes & words | all original posts | interaction | my fic | fic recs | cabybaras | bats | queue

Current Trigger Tags (ask to tag): gore tw | death tw | abuse tw | child endangerment tw | clown tw | body horror tw | food tw | animal death tw | animal body horror tw | horror tag | ‘lemon’ for rated E content | ‘lime’ for rated M content | ‘orange’ for rated T sexual content | & I tag reclaimed slurs with the uncensored word alone

⚝ 

Follow & Support

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[quillyfied]

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 4

I LIIIIIIIVE

99 titles on this list again and once again we have an extra category, and I am pumped that I finally got this one done! Got a lot of holiday overflow but suck it up bc here it comes. As a refresher, the categories are: Jaunts through History/Canon, South Downs, Post-Apocalypse, Bus Ride/Night Before/Heaven and Hell, AU/UA, Soft, Before (exclusive to this list and List 2, meaning takes place almost exclusively Before Canon, as in The Fall/Creation/etc), Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings, Bonus, and H/C /Whump/BAMF. Warnings for gore and explicit material present where applicable. I don’t read smut fics but sometimes more adult material sneaks in there.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF A LINK IS BROKEN OR IF I MISATTRIBUTED AN AUTHOR.

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. You are a Call to Motion – @freyjawriter24 (G, the one where Aziraphale would like to dance but doesn’t. Very sweet and soft and kinda sad, follows Aziraphale through history wanting to dance (specifically with Crowley) until he finally gets to. The pining is so good, y’all.)

2. I love you because I know no other way than this – kriswithakay (T, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley use the excuse of being spectacularly drunk to get in little touches and kisses throughout history. This one is so sad and so full of yearning, the whole time you just wish they would face each other sober. It’s so quiet and beautiful.)

3. A Simple Thing – Sir_Bedevere (T, the one where Aziraphale gives out forehead kisses and Crowley is jelly about it. Continuing with the trend of being achingly sad and tender, this fic packs a wallop in that department. Forehead kisses aren’t always given at the happiest of times, after all. Also Crowley continues his stint as a pine tree and it’s painful.)

4. The Problem with Saints – Lurlur, D20Owlbear, robynthemagpie_writes, Wyvernquill (T and G, the series where it’s Catholic but funny. This series is weird and it’s hilarious and I hope there will be more, because this series goes through some fairly niche Catholic saint stories and the retelling of them featuring the Ineffable Husbands is hysterical. I don’t even want to tell y’all too much about it, just go read them and laugh with me, because they’re beautiful.)

5. When The Things You’ve Planned Need a Helping Hand – Proskenion (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale run into each other in the 1920s. Flapper!Crowley being a lounge singer is the centerpiece of this one, which is delightful enough, but throw in some canon-typical friction over the Arrangement and a chance for Aziraphale to come to the rescue, it’s a lovely little romp that has just the right edge of emotional tenderness to take the sting out of said earlier friction. Or add to it. Just depends on your point of view, really.)

6. The Serpent and the Lady – @summerofspock (T, the one where Aziraphale is Lady Fair and Crowley is competing in a tournament for his favor. Has female-presenting Aziraphale still using male pronouns bc that’s just what he’s comfortable with, and definitely, definitely has that Disney animated Robin Hood flavor. This fic scratches so many of my itches—Aziraphale in a dress, Crowley being a dashing BAMF, chivalric courtship, swordplay, armor, hand-sewn tokens of favor. A delicious little diversion, very worth it a++++.)

7.  Sunlight and Water – @themoonmothwrites (M, the one where Aziraphale is a flirty drunk and Crowley has to be the sensible one. M for some racy elements but not explicit. This one is fun but then takes a direct left into Feels Town, which, when coupled with @cassieoh’s art, just makes the whole experience dreadfully unfair. A gorgeous little story, and the ending is just *chef’s kiss*.)

8. Sloth – libbyfay (T, the one where Aziraphale checks in on Crowley after the fourteenth century. This one is a delight, and includes Aziraphale recommending The Canterbury Tales, as well as a back-and-forth about depression versus Sloth and a lot of talking around feelings. Must absolutely be read in conjunction with the next rec in the list, which is something of a continuation. )

9. I have an aungel which that loveth me – HolRose (NR, the one where Crowley follows up on The Canterbury Tales recommendation from Aziraphale and it gets a bit deep. A continuation of the previous rec, and oof, y’all. This one gets hella sad, which hits pretty hard after Crowley laughing his head off about the funny bits in Canterbury Tales. There’s also Feelings, which are desperate and tender and guys they don’t even kiss but it’s still breathtaking. They love each other so much.)

10. (heaven is) a place on earth – rattatatosk (G, the one where Aziraphale nearly loses his bookshop. This takes place during the deleted scene from the 1800 opening of the bookshop, and has oodles of Aziraphale building himself a home and being devastated about nearly losing it. Not a nesting fic in the traditional sense (meaning it isn’t about building a home for himself and Crowley, it’s definitely just for him), but for fans of happy Aziraphale being fluffy and content in his bookshop, here you go.)

11. No other news to report – @argentconflagration (T, the one where Aziraphale is torn up about an assignment. Y’all want Crowley interfering in angelic plans? Y’all want tenderness and holding? Y’all want Aziraphale letting himself be bested? Then stay a while, because this one is a heart-wrecker. Featuring a very sick and very devout child, and female-presenting Crowley.)

12. These Things Were Here – @MajorEnglishEsquire (T, the one where Crowley resorts to snake form to deal with his feelings. This one is long and it’s emotional; Crowley reverts down to being a snake whenever he gets especially bad assignments from Hell, and it’s about him and Aziraphale finding balance and harmony between themselves when Crowley is like this. Very sweet and very tender and very sad.)

13. Crossing Paths – @amuseoffyre (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale meet every few years. This is your typical “through the ages” fic but it’s Fyre writing it, and that means it has so much humor and heart and history in it it’s practically like reading deleted scenes of the show. The boys are so in-character and their love is subtle and slow-boiling but there. Highly recommended, absolutely.)

14. apples (per the author’s intention) – @lwtis (T, the one where apples is a recurring theme in their friendship. This one is hilarious and it’s heartfelt and I quite enjoyed it; the bits where Aziraphale is absolutely convinced this is a temptation of some kind are particularly juicy (not unlike Crowley’s backside in a certain pair of trousers). Crowley absolutely knows how to beat a joke to death and he does it with style.)

SOUTH DOWNS

15. up in our bedroom, after the war – @rufeepeach (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale need to get away to process things. In this one, they more vacation to the South Downs rather than move there, but them working through the awkwardness of Armageddon’s fighting and gently taking their relationship to its natural conclusion is beautiful and good. It isn’t urgent or desperate, just quiet and understated and organic. A lovely piece.)

16. Somewhere Alive and Green – @thetunewillcome (T, the one where they make a necessary move. This one is quiet and reflective, as a good South Downs fic should be, and though it’s short I think it’s wonderfully healing. Very good.)

POST-APOCALYPSE

17. England’s pleasant pastures seen – @squidsticks (T, the one where Aziraphale has an appointment with a book collector and Crowley offers to drive. Y’all it’s so sweet and, dare I say, uplifting, how much they love each other. Someone drops the “husband” word at some point and someone else has a joyful fit over it and I bet you can tell who does what. There’s also a lot of teasing and the kind of easy banter that comes with knowing someone for so long. V. good.)

18. you have built nests from all my bark – @mutalune (T, the one where Crowley is nesting as an aggressive courting maneuver. This fic is so much fun. Highlights include Michael thinking Aziraphale must have a special connection with the Almighty and trying to emulate his lifestyle in order to have one herself, Crowley getting irrationally jealous over it all and constructing the finest nest known to reality (including cupholders, which I now also want in all my pillow piles), Dagon looking for a very similar thing from Crowley that Michael wants from Aziraphale, and lots of delicious humor and unexpected character interactions. I highly recommend this one if you’re having a bad day.)

19. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance – @divisionten (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale find out how to get around Heaven and Hell and it’s through summons. More of an anthology than a solid story, and it’s such a fascinating universe, liberally layered with overcoming trust issues and adjusting to being in a loving relationship, and it’s Good Food y’all, trust me on this.)

20. That’s Not Funny – cyankelpie (G, the one where they’re exceptionally drunk and Crowley says I Love You and Aziraphale thinks he’s joking. This one is sharper than expected but it makes the moment where they finally have everything out in the open so much sweeter. Lots of protective Crowley and very confused Aziraphale.)

21. Stars – @lyricwritesprose (G, the series that’s a spinoff of Tales of the Them that’s about Crowley and the stars, ostensibly. It’s a spinoff bc it deals with Aziraphale’s point of view, too, and their careful navigation of a complicated subject in Crowley’s history. Very soft and bittersweet.)

22. In Action How Like an Angel – PinkPenguinParade (T/NR/M, the series where Aziraphale stumbles into making some useful wards and then Crowley gets taken. Rated high for safety but the violence is truly not that bad and the sex jokes are very mild. Come for cool worldbuilding, stay for BAMF!Aziraphale, and have some extra bits of Anathema and Newt being very good and helpful friends on top!)

23. Let’s share a drink! – @nohaijiachi (G, the one where Aziraphale gets horribly discorporated and gets his body back fairly quickly thanks to quick thinking and Gabriel being easy to gross out. This one is a bit gross, fair warning, but it’s not too graphic, and it’s hilarious besides. Peak Bastard Aziraphale Hours, this one is. If you like reading about Gabriel getting messed with, welcome to the party.)

24. Metastable – MrsCaufield (Not Rated, the one where Aziraphale is having an existential crisis post-Armageddon. Featuring lots of miscommunication, some mild jealousy, and Aziraphale figuring himself out, which is always lovely to read about. Misunderstandings and two supernatural beings being grossly in love, can’t get better than this!)

25. Taking Steps – @joyandotherstories (G, the one where Aziraphale decides he wants to take salsa dancing lessons and Crowley agrees. Oh, y’all. You like pining? You like awkward touching? Do you perhaps like…faked relationships turning into real relationships? You’d best have a seat and dive into this one, because the payoff is many-layered and just phenomenal. The pride in these idiots not only learning to dance but learning to be open about how much they love each other is so good.)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

26. Introspection and Starlight – d20owlbear (T, the one where Aziraphale has a breakdown and is hold. I seem to have a special taste for Aziraphale breaking down, and this one is Hecking Delicious—it’s a slow break but it’s so achingly tender and emotional, especially once sleepy Crowley gets on the scene. Apologies are made and two very tired beings just hold each other at the end of it all and it’s so good.)

27. The Longest Night – @charlottemadison42 (T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are taking slow and important steps. Three fics in the series so far, and each one captures their hilarious and effortless dynamic so well while still paying homage to their quiet love. There are so many cool details to explore, ESPECIALLY in the bodyswap fics, and overall they are a really fun and thoughtful look at how the Night the World Didn’t End could’ve gone. OH AND A FOURTH ONE HAS GONE UP WHILE I WAS WORKING ON THIS LIST and you guyssss so much good content about Crowley’s (Presumably) Foot Thing and Shoes, omg. A treasure.)

28. Last Confessions and Hopeless Loves – @girlwholovesherwords (G, the one where they very neatly and annoyingly slot into their new dynamic. This one is so matter-of-fact and tongue-in-cheek I about died laughing, which is amazing given that it’s less than 3k words. A very good little egg.)

29. Choose Your Faces Wisely – @cheeseandonioncrisps (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale set the record straight on how they portrayed each other. This is a fun one based on the very good meta bits floating around (which have been bolstered by Neil Gaiman’s commentary in the DVDs I will have you know) that their performances in each other’s skins is how they see each other and how different that is from how they see themselves and guys it’s so good, I wanted this conversation to last forever and ever.)

30. and I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well – BrinneyFriday (T, the one where apologies are made and kisses are had. Guys it’s so soft. Oh my gosh you guys the tenderness is unreal. There’s Crowley falling asleep in Aziraphale’s lap and there’s deciding they’re stronger together and guys pls it’s so good just read it pleASE—)

AU/UA

31. A Curious Case of Miracles on Marlborough Street – @nihilnovisubsole (M, the one where there might be such a thing as too much of a good thing. M for sexual humor and situations but nothing all that graphic. Y’all it’s the “angels accidentally cast miracles when they orgasm” crack given the serious treatment it deserves, and this fic also wins awards for its brilliant OC angel Sabrael, Keeper of Miracles. The icing on the cake? Beautiful artistic accompaniment to go along with the brilliant writing. Just delightful, a whole entire treat. An afternoon delight indeed.)

32. Too Much of a Good Thing – @yamisnuffles (G, T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are both angels and things are a bit different. It’s not fair that yamisnuffles is a distinctive and wonderful artist, they have to be a good writer, too, and be terribly talented at telling a good story. Crowley’s character arc and emotional growth as a disgraced angel cursed to live as a snake for a while is fabulous, and it’s only ramping up, so jump on the train now! It’s a good train!)

33. Measures of Freedom – KazLangston (T, the one where Crowley is an acquisition made by one Mr. AZ Fell. This is one of those “turn left” AUs where they’re still an angel and a demon, they just didn’t meet in Eden. Instead, they meet because Crowley gets himself captured and Aziraphale doesn’t think it’s safe to let a real, dangerous demon loose. Their relationship is very combative and antagonistic but it softens; the emotional journey they go on from clear enemies to clear friends is fantastic.)

34. Somewhere Down Below – jane_with_a_j (T, the series where Aziraphale is captured as an incentive for Crowley to jump masters in Hell. There’s lots of hurt!Aziraphale in this one, as tends to happen to an angel captive in Hell, and an excruciating amount of pining that doesn’t so much counterbalance the angst so much as spice it up enormously. There’s intrigue, there’s a daring escape, it’s radical, folks.)

35. How it Happens – @captainqueernerd (T, the one that’s based on a comic and both are DELIGHTFUL. The fic here is an extension of the comic and so sweet, oh my goodness how sweet it is. The best bits aren’t even when they cover the comic’s events—it’s AFTER that is the real treat. I’ll hand out brownie points to anyone who can find the sentence that made me put down my laptop before I accidentally chucked it while laughing too hard.)

36. mors certissima – @northerntrash (T, the Hades and Persephone AU where Aziraphale is Hades and Crowley is Persephone and they’re all doing their best. This is a super fun one, beautifully written and lovely original lore that has Aziraphale really coming into his own as a god of death and what that means for the wider pantheon and the world. And IT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN where the fic is at the moment, I’m pumped for the conclusion!)

37. It’s All Greek to Me (that is, Ineffable) – @ulspi (UR, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are cast in different mythological roles in each fic. This one’s gorgeous, you guys, haunting and romantic and each fic has a distinct flavor that is impossibly good. A beautiful way to spend a rainy afternoon, in my opinion.)

38. The Princess and the Serpent – @longforgottenhymn (G, the one where Aziraphale takes Crowley to King Arthur’s court to get a nobleman off his back and oh no, fake dating becomes real dating, oh no. You think you’re ready for this fic? FOOL. This fic is going to carve you up from the inside out and you won’t even be READY for it even if you know it’s coming. This fic is going to promise intimacy and deliver in terrible, terrible tenderness. I am being melodramatic but THIS FIC. THIS FIC IS SO GOOD. This fic is not what I was expecting and it hits HARD because of that.)

39. Wicked dance – pirripipi (T, the one that’s a royal AU with incredible depth and complexity. Listen, what this fic might lack in polish it more than makes up for in flat-out interesting worldbuilding. The characterization is on point and the nonlinear storytelling is very well-handled. And that ending! So triumphant, so utterly joyful. What a joy this fic is! Just wait until you see the Garden of Eden, it’s SPECTACULAR.)

40. The sun doesn’t set on the shoreline – VinWrit (G, the one that’s a selkie and siren AU. This one feels more like it’s being told in microfiction installments and that’s certainly interesting on its own, but it reads like a horror story and it’s chock full of worldbuilding, and the characterization of Crowley especially just breaks my heart right in two. What a great little story.)

41. An Angel’s Hope – @braver-stronger-smarter (M, the one that’s a crossover with the Kiesha’ra book series by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes and it’s delicious AF. Not sure why it’s rated M, but it does deal with a war and the fallout of dealing with constant violence and death. Explains things well enough that you don’t need to have read the Kiesha’ra to understand what’s going on (or, like, if it’s been well over a decade since you last read it…), and the integration of Crowley and Aziraphale into the main plot of these shapeshifter snake and bird cultures is effortless. Can’t wait to see where this one goes (bc even if it just follows the plot of Hawksong, it’s sure to be an exciting ride). (Side note, read the Kiesha’ra, it’s a good series.))

42. By Grace – @seaskystone (G, the one that’s the little soulmate AU that could. Not very long but still highly impactful in my opinion, featuring Crowley and Aziraphale meeting in heaven and knowing right away they’re meant for each other, but canon still happens as it does. Short and bittersweet and pretty.)

43. The Ones Who Walk Away from Nevaeh – @soft-october-night (T, the one that’s the “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” AU none of us ever even knew we needed but heck if we didn’t get it anyway. If you aren’t familiar, “Omelas” is a short story by Ursula K LeGuin that I absolutely believe you must read in order to get the full impact of this and what the author does with the story with regard to our two boys, it’s earth-shattering. Soft-october-night does it again, just goes and makes outstanding AUs that own my entire soul like it ain’t no thing. Completely unfair.)

44. Take the Fall (What’s a Second Time) – @triffidsandcuckoos (T, the one where Crawly does what it says on the tin. This one includes a nice helping of Crowley suffering from chronic pain as a consequence of taking the blame for the apple business, and some sweet care from Aziraphale, who is well aware it’s his fault. An interesting take and a heartwarming story (even if suffering from chronic pain is the pits and there’s no way around that).)

45. forgotten (but not gone) – @writeonclara (T, the one where their memories are taken and Crowley and Aziraphale still manage to stay away from each other for about .04 seconds. This one has some hard edges and it is a harrowing story about accepting others and yourself, and having faith in yourself and your loved one, but the way they can’t keep their hands to themselves when all the stops are pulled out is frankly hilarious and I commend this story whole-heartedly for committing to that.)

46. It’s Not the Years, it’s the Mileage – @moveslikebucky (T, the one that’s an Indiana Jones AU based on @yamisnuffles’ art. You want Aziraphale doing his best in an Indy role while still being an angel? You want Crowley owning a bar and it DOESN’T suck? You want pining and heartache and hilarity? Park it, then, folks, you don’t even need to know the Indiana Jones films to enjoy it (I certainly don’t and I am aware of this failing, thank you).)

47. or the look or the words – @taizi (T, the one where they just keep getting married and it doesn’t stop from happening. Guys they are literally married HUNDREDS OF TIMES throughout history STARTING AT THE ARK. They are literally so soft and so in love and I am beside myself right now, please love yourself and practice some self-care by reading this fic.)

48. Give me a title, I’ll give you my heart – @nohaijiachi (T, the one that’s a human AU based on fanart and it’s great. Single dad Aziraphale with a cautious past, determined son Adam who is gonna get his dad a date if it’s the last thing he does, utterly besotted Crowley who is excellent at being gentle and also a great beta reader…a surprisingly emotional and fun piece, very good.)

49. what if you fall? oh, but my darling, what if i fly? – Doggoos (T, the one where they loved in Heaven and outside interference tore them apart. I LOST THIS FIC AND SPENT FOREVER TRYING TO FIND IT AGAIN. The one detail that kept me going? Crowley (as Raphael) and Aziraphale exchange jewelry before Gabriel sticks his stupid nose in it and the jewelry is visually stunning and emotionally gorgeous. It’s emotional and it’s fraught and there’s erased memories to contend with but holy COW, y’all. They’re so in love.)

50. Snakes and Stones (the Crowley/Aziraphale Human AU) – @deerstalkerdeathfrisbee (G, the series where it’s exactly what it says it is. The opening fic for this series is where literally everyone in Aziraphale’s dorm thinks his boyfriend is made up and Aziraphale has the enormous pleasure of proving them all wrong. It has great Newt characterization and, surprisingly, Gabriel being likeable, though he has to work for it. It’s fun and a little silly and I adore it.)

51. in the arms of the ocean (so sweet and so cold) – robynthemagpie_writes, agent_of_mischief (T, the one where Aziraphale becomes a lighthouse keeper and Crowley is probably a sea monster. This is a horror story and it’s a love story and while reading it kept me awake at night, thinking about it also kept me very much awake at night. I am the world’s biggest chicken and the spoop is real, friends, but more than that, it’s the horrors lurking in Aziraphale’s past (and probably Crowley’s, I have some theories) that are the heartbreaking bit. Not for the faint-hearted, it goes hard and I have a feeling it’s only going to go harder.)

52. i’ve found a way (a way to make you smile) – @fremulon (T, the one that’s an AU of The Office. Requires no knowledge of The Office but I’m sure it helps. This is one I kept putting off and deeply regret doing so (though, on the other hand, waiting so long to read it meant that I caught up the night before the last chapter went up, so HA). Y’all, it’s so funny and so relatable as an adult stuck in a dead-end job I don’t like, and the romance between Aziraphale and Crowley is so simple and so sweet. I just love it and I love this fic and I want you to read it immediately right now.)

53. I Know Places We Won’t Be Found – FangsScalesSkin (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale run away together from the Garden of Eden. I have been waiting for someone to write this forever and it’s finally happening. And it’s got such fun worldbuilding, and their interactions are so cute, and I just love them and want them to be okay and to be married forever and ever.)

54. an imitation of the garden of eden – @dyslexiccrowley (T, the one that’s a D&D-inspired AU. Speaking of AUs that come out of hecking nowhere, here’s one! This one is a really fun adventure, and if you thought me turning the Bentley into a horse in several of my fics was fun, this one beats me out by a country mile and I couldn’t be more gleeful about it because THE BENTLEY IS A DRAGON. I could deffo see the dnd elements throughout but the flavor of it is so unique, I thoroughly enjoyed the adventure and the character moments.)

55. Hell is Just a Sauna – @anthonyjcrowiey (T, the one that’s a “Ten Things I Hate About You” AU. I haven’t seen the film (though I have read Taming of the Shrew and I have been on Tumblr long enough to absorb several gifsets), but this fic was still so good and managed to hook me right in regardless of that fact. I can’t wait for it to finish up, we’re on the emotional crux of the plot and it’s tearing me up how it’s been left!)

56. be mine tonight (be mine forever) – @qorktrees (T, the one that’s a literal “fake dating becomes real dating” AU. Human AU, and these idiots I SWEAR. Aziraphale needs a date for the office Christmas party, Crowley is available and bribable, and of course it ends in their ruse becoming the real deal, this is fanfiction for crying out loud. It happens so sweetly, though, you’ve gotta see this.)

57. Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes – @gigglesnortbangdead (T, the one where Heaven and Hell turn enemies into children instead of smiting. Oh, goodness gracious y’all are not ready for this one. You aren’t ready for the way being turned into a child affects an angel or a demon. You aren’t ready for the myriad ways bb!Crowley is gonna tug at your heartstrings. You aren’t ready for the way Aziraphale is when it finally happens to him. You AREN’T READY. This is precisely why you should go read it right now immediately, to see just how unready you really are. You should take care of that at this exact moment.)

58. Ineffably Yours – SecondHandNews (M, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale choose each other and keep choosing each other. Listen to me: this series is the length of several novels. I have only read the first one, after stumbling on a side-story that was really good and not realizing it was a side-story of a bigger series until I’d finished it. I am planning on reading the rest of the series, which is still updating. I am a little terrified at this titan who has managed to write over 360K words since June in this one series alone. The first one absolutely had me biting my nails and rocking back and forth in an anxious haze, and it’s so tender and so beautiful and SO NERVE-WRACKING. Crowley and Aziraphale learn the Rapture is coming and they just…kinda snap, really. Stop avoiding each other, start choosing each other, and all the twists and turns that comes with it. Just. Really outstanding work, I am an anxious mess but it’s good XD)

JUST SOFT

59. Where to Start – @freyjawriter24 (T, the one where Crowley nearly kisses Aziraphale throughout history like A LOT. Guys you wanna feel the pine crushing into your soul? You want to feel that deep ache of wanting to touch so badly but holding back out of sheer desperate force of will? Read this, prepare to have your knees appropriately weakened from the longing.)

60. A Softer Fall – @themoonmothwrites (T, the one that’s the wall shoving but soft. Bury me in this one, boys, my corpse will rest well for eternity, because holy COW the longing and the fear and the reassurances…my heart is a marshmallow now and it’s this fic’s fault.)

61. for the dancing and the dreaming – @une-danse-macabre (G, the one where Aziraphale proposes. Listen I know this entire section of the post is for Soft Fic but this is Softe Fic and I am not joking even a little bit. Crowley desperately deflecting using humor bc he is so overwhelmed? It’s more likely than you think. Read this, it’s a beautiful little shot of humor and romance.)

62. in candlelight, we dance – SaerM (T, the one where they take a shower together. I have a deep and abiding weakness for bathing fic, and even better, it’s not a sex fic! Just two ineffable partners being tender and washing each other and being together. So sweet and good.)

63. A Pile of Pillows – @waffleironbiddingwar (T, the one where Aziraphale seems to have built a nest during a weekend apart. There’s a few cute nesting fics in this here post but this is one of my very favorites; even has some wing grooming, and lots of teasing and kissing. Very cute!)

64. When the Wind Changes – Star_less (G, the one where Crowley makes faces at babies. Listen. LISTEN. You don’t have to personally like kids to go all gooey over how much Crowley seems to like kids, entirely without meaning to. It’s too cute. Someone call the Cute Police.)

65. with adorations, with fertile tears – waywarder (T, the one where there’s an emotional meltdown while watching a high school production of Twelfth Night. So sweet and unsure and awkward, this one; it’s canon-verse, Aziraphale just drags Crowley to a high school production and then proceeds to very nearly have an angelic aneurysm over trying to hold his hand. If you’ve a soft spot for the Ineffable Husbands quoting Shakespeare at each other, welcome to the party, you’ve arrived.)

66. Sleeping Angel – @whatawriterwields (G, the one where Aziraphale is asleep on Crowley’s chest. It should be noted that this writer wields tenderness like a weapon, stiletto right between the ribs to knock all that breath right out of you, which is a much more gruesome descriptor than I probably should’ve used but YOU GUYS CROWLEY TALKS TO AZIRAPHALE IN HIS SLEEP AND IT’S SO SWEET AND I CAN’T BREATHE.)

67. in so many words – @asideofourown (G, the one where Aziraphale has trouble saying “I love you.” This one made me laugh and “aww” in equal measure, but to get you to click on the link and read as fast as I did, Aziraphale says “thank you” the first time Crowley says “I love you” and I DIED.)

68. A First Christmas, Once Again – lalaland666 (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale get to celebrate Christmas together. This one has a fun twist on why Aziraphale dislikes the holidays and a really cute Crowley getting excited for them, and I think it’s well worth reading whether or not you find the December holiday season celebratory or not.)

69. (i love you) as you are – @asideofourown (T, the one where Crowley tries to change to be more like Aziraphale in order to keep him and it’s heartbreaking. Listen, this writer is great and more often than not draws me in bc the dialogue is so good, but this one just crushed my heart into pieces, because Crowley is trying SO HARD and he doesn’t have to but doesn’t realize that he doesn’t have to and AUGH.)

70. the commendation – @forineffablereasons (G, the one where Aziraphale’s ring is itself a commendation from Heaven. This one is short and sweet but it GUTS me every time, just over Aziraphale and how much Heaven screwed him over and failed him by making him feel like the failure. Something this short should not hurt me so much AND YET. Crowley makes it better. Obviously.)

71. the other way round – @forineffablereasons (G, the one where Aziraphale lays in Crowley’s lap instead. Listen we all love it when Crowley puts his head in Aziraphale’s lap but this writer has the right of it, we don’t see it nearly enough the other way round and HHHHGK. The tenderness. The softness. It BURNS.)

72. Every Song in Every Key – @impishtubist (T, the one with the seriously misleading summary. I mean this in the best possible way. Crowley being the one to enjoy the holidays is fun enough, but the true meat of this fic came out of nowhere and it hit me square in the squishy bits. One of the tags is “kid fic” for a little bit of a hint but I shan’t spoil it for you, just go read about Crowley being soft.)

73. shed a sweet light – @areyougonnabe (T, the one that’s not anti-holiday so much as a non-holiday holiday fic. That was probably confusing for you BUT IN ESSENCE: Aziraphale has been around too long to get too attached to any particular holiday (plus time passes so differently when you’re immortal), and attracts the ire of holiday influencers. It gets surprisingly dire, and then delightfully Jewish. Has the exact heart that every holiday story hopes for: quiet, enduring love amidst the chaos. A beautiful little thing.)

BEFORE

74. Unexpected Variables – @seaskystone (T, the one where God keeps having to reset the universe. Hands-down the most hilarious fic on the list just by virtue of God’s impending migraine in dealing with Crowley and Aziraphale, who are so incompetent and I love them so much.)

75. Astralphysiastrics – @wortlby2 (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale finally talk about Before. This one’s “Before” elements take place in flashbacks but given that they’re a pretty significant portion of the fic, I put it in this category anyway. Guys this one HURTS, but there’s healing in it, too, which is a beautiful balance. Ends nice and fluffy, which is a good landing after the flashbacks are done tossing you about.)

TOUCH-STARVED/BODY WORSHIP/WINGS

76. To Preen a Songbird – @tiger-in-the-flightdeck (T, the one that’s just some good old-fashioned preening, y’all. Prepare for these idiots being silly and bantering and teasing, because the back-and-forth is so good. SO good. So very, very good.)

77. Life Hurts (But Not With You) – Spider_Lilly (T, the series that’s about Aziraphale letting Crowley preen him. This one takes a pretty serious turn and talks about what happens to angels with slightly more realistic-type wings who don’t have help preening. Fair warning, there’s a bit of grossness with impacted preen glands (which are oil glands) and if you are squeamish I would tread carefully, bc it can get a bit disturbing when Crowley has to help deal with them, but if you like realistic wing care, this is the series for you. Also love. Also pining. Also they’re kind of the same story from different perspectives and the one from Aziraphale’s perspective is SO MUCH WORSE EMOTIONALLY. A good bit of catharsis fic, for sure.)

78. Descent Suspension – @onheil-ferguson (M, the one where Crowley could use some tying up. M for shibari but it’s nonsexual. Book!verse. I apparently have a thing for nonsexual BDSM and bondage, because this fic absolutely took my breath away. It’s very calm and understated and dignified, just feels quiet. A beautiful piece, for sure.)

79. The End (of the Beginning) or A Not-So-Nice or Accurate Guide to Sex on a Stick, By Anthony J. Crowley, Demon. – @fantasticallyobscure (T, the one where Crowley has been trying sex with all the wrong people. Not explicit at all, just has a lot of discussions about sex, which can be off-putting but now you know going in (if the title didn’t give it away). Basically Crowley keeps trying sex with people who have his same physical build and loses his appetite for it, until he and Aziraphale finally get their heads on straight and Aziraphale wants to try it. Some hilarious metaphors and a lot of adorable Aziraphale being jealous, which is a trip. A wonderful little romp, for sure!)

80. You Are Unbreaking (Though Quaking) – @lesbianscrowleys (T, the one where Aziraphale works through his knee-jerk reactions to being touched. A very good little snapshot of healing and working through things while communicating with your partner, and there’s a fun side-story about accepting who you are that underscores the main theme rather well. Crowley is so good and patient and Aziraphale is trying so hard.)

81. A Treatise Concerning Religious Affectations – forthegreatergood (T, the one where there are discussions of religious ecstasy versus regular ecstasy. This one involves more or less orgasming via manipulation of miraculous brain chemistry, and it’s a little bit funky, but you get in the vibe of the fic pretty quickly, I think, the writer is good about setting the tone. And it’s adversarial as all heck, this is a legitimate disagreement Crowley and Aziraphale are having and you feel every weighty second of it. It’s sensual, I think, but not necessarily erotic, and that’s a hard needle to thread and they do it very well.)

82. 451°F – @purple-suits (G, the one after the church bombing where Aziraphale wants so badly it hurts. Guys, oh you guys, the pure need in this one isn’t even really sexual but it HURTS, it is so physical and raw and achey. It absolutely put about five more aches under my skin just from secondhand need. Oh, y’all. Oh beans.)

BONUS

83. Chaos Theory – @themoonmothwrites (T, the series that’s about Adam hitting on Warlock in a bar and then reintroducing him to his old nanny and gardener. This one is 1. prime Adam/Warlock material, and 2. PRIME Warlock/facing his feelings and confronting his past and figuring out his future material. I have the weakest spot possible for Warlock Dowling and this one hits that spot like a LOT.)

84. Through the branches there’s a son that’s always shone – @jessicafish (G, the one with a contented Warlock. This one is a Halloween fic that has the softest Warlock and Crowley interaction of all time, it’s so short but it hits so hard and I must thank it for my life, really.)

85. Love, And Its Interference With The Nature of Reality – @souljellied (M, the one where Adam has a big ole crush and reality is warping for Warlock. M for some saucy makeouts at the start but it’s pretty tame. Guys if the fact that at one point the headlines in a news stand all read “TOP TEN REASONS TO DATE ADAM YOUNG” before Warlock blinks and they all change back to normal isn’t a good enough reason to read this fic then I don’t know what to tell you, it’s so delightfully tongue-in-cheek about Adam’s effect on reality and so funny and so sweet, even if it does end on a note that makes me howl for wanting a continuation.)

86. Slumber Party Summons and Aftereffects – @joyandotherstories (G, the series where Crowley gets summoned by a party of teenage girls and has a very heartfelt, productive evening with them. I dragged my feet on this story for incomprehensible reasons so DON’T YOU MAKE MY MISTAKES. The teenage girls who summon Crowley are so sweet and loveable, each and every one of them, and guys they ship Crowley and Aziraphale so hard when they finally pry Crowley’s life story out of him, with help from some memory projection witchery. It’s so good, y’all, so cute and so fresh. Just the best.)

87. Christmas Delivery – Daegaer (G, the one where Gabriel sends obnoxious Christmas cards and they are the highlight of Heaven’s holiday (to make merciless fun of). It should be noted that these Christmas cards all feature artistic renderings of Gabriel himself. I about died laughing and it’s canon now in my heart. I should not be endeared to the Archangels but here we are.)

88. and i don’t care if you don’t want me (i’m yours anyhow) – shaekspeares (T, the one where Warlock is figuring himself out at uni. This one is complex and deadpan and has such a good representation of Warlock and what he could grow to be, plus that excellent Warlock/Adam content I am always here for and Warlock having a complete meltdown over the idea that his former nanny and gardener were sent by his parents to spy on him, but not that they’re an angel and a demon. This kid has his priorities in order. Well, no, he doesn’t, but it’s fun to watch him get there. And he and Adam have the best dynamic ever, it’s full of friction and no small amount of adversarial energy turning sweet over time. This fic is physically healing to read and we aren’t even done yet. A fantastic addition to the fandom, if just for what Warlock does to the British equivalent of the Young Republican student body.)

89. Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach – Nnm (T, the one where Crowley gets a therapist. I know most of you should know this, or at least have heard of it, but pipe down bc I finally got around to reading it and it’s AMAZING. If you’re a human who’s gone to a good therapist or who needs to, this story’s protagonist is phenomenal. And she’s not static in her own journey, either, she grows and heals along with Crowley, and it’s not linear or clean or simple. Like real life, it has dips and turns and bad patches, but the healing is palpable. A masterwork, truly, just real dadgum good, y’all.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

90. I Don’t Want the World to See Me – @coulson-is-an-avenger (T, the one where they navigate an unexpected boundary concerning Crowley’s glasses. People who flinch every time they read about Aziraphale taking off Crowley’s glasses without permission rejoice: we have a fix-it fic for you. It’s tender in every sense of the word, and shows great boundary communication (y’know after the immediate scare is over), and all around is incredibly worth the read.)

91. Still Waking Up – @sleepymccoy (T, the one that’s trauma recovery with lots of bed-sharing and pining. Friendos if you want to feel every inch of that slow burn, you’ve arrived. This fic is careful and it’s emotionally ragged-edged and it’s just so dang pretty as Crowley and Aziraphale work through their separate issues and come to terms with what it means to them to be together with each other.)

92. Borrowed Scars – dreamsofspike (M, the one where Aziraphale finds out what Crowley goes through when he’s in Hell. M for implied/referenced rape and onscreen torture (and like some heavy petting that gets interrupted by feels). This one’s heavy, y’all, heavier than my usual fare, bc Aziraphale is in Hell wearing Crowley’s body when he finds this out so it’s pretty firsthand. Most of the bad bits are told in flashbacks but there’s also the healing part where Crowley finds out and he and Aziraphale have to have a heart-to-heart about what happened and how it’s never going to happen again. Drags you through the mud but then sets you back on your feet, a very good little number, I thought.)

93. Surviving Hell – @whatawriterwields (T, the series where Crowley’s coping mechanism is to shut down and then that coping mechanism becomes maladaptive in the new world. If you’re like me, you’re used to this writer writing the fluffiest creations known to man, so this foray into deeper territory socks like a cannonball right in the gut. Crowley’s healing process is long and it’s slow, with so much aching tender care from Aziraphale it is physically painful in a way. Can’t wait for it to update, I am INVESTED.)

94. Easier than Air – @a-candle-for-sherlock (G, the one where Aziraphale finally deals with stuff. This is a collection of panic attacks, as a warning; Aziraphale’s entire six-thousand-year life is catching up to him, living under Heaven’s eye and knowing he doesn’t measure up, still trying to be with Crowley even though knowing the danger…it’s a lot on a person, and it all kinda comes crashing down after Armageddon’t. Crowley takes care of him, talks and holds him through it all, and it’s so sweet, so freeing to vicariously fall apart through Aziraphale and be held through it by Crowley. Just. Augh.)

95. So Still I Wait – HotCrossPigeon (T, the one where Heaven locks Aziraphale in a void, basically, for three months, and then dump him back on earth for Crowley to pick up the pieces. Guys this one is part of a “hurt Aziraphale” series and it delivers. Aziraphale is his usual soft, silly self all throughout and that makes it hurt worse when he’s suffering, and downright agonizing when he’s trying to recover. Heaven is horrible to him throughout, and Crowley is so gentle and scared, and honestly I don’t know how I didn’t just keel over while reading it. This takes touch-starved to an extreme that booted it from the Touch-Starved category and into this one, because WOW. WOW.)

96. Flaming Like Anything – @thepoetoftime (NR, the one where any weapon Aziraphale holds flames. This one isn’t silly, exactly, but it is hilarious watching Aziraphale flame things like a stick and an umbrella and then absolutely CREAM his foes with them. Never stood a chance, poor souls. A wonderful read, with a surprising twist near the end I highly recommend savoring, it’s too good a mental image.)

97. Love Seeketh Not Itself to Please – @dietraumerei (T, the one where Aziraphale is hurt by a summoning and Crowley takes him to Heaven for healing. This one hurts on so many levels I don’t know where to begin. There’s the physical hurt—obviously—but then there’s the tension of our favorite reprobates being back in Heaven, and a moment where the rug is pulled that is disorienting and just…hateful, absolutely hateful, but in the weirdest, most relieving way. I cannot explain this to you, you must read it. And then sweet, sweet aftercare, because of course. I wouldn’t recommend it to you if there wasn’t any comfort in it, and this writer in particular has historically done excellently with the comfort aspect; this is certainly no different. It absolutely tickled my fancy.)

98. Cry for Absolution – forthegreatergood (T, the one where a miscommunication causes six thousand years of touch avoidance. Guys. GUYS. Crowley thinks his touch hurts Aziraphale and you know what it actually does? It actually hurts ME, personally, watching Crowley misread Aziraphale’s little gasps and flinches as pain rather than shock. Then they fight about it, and things resolve, but HHHNG. THAT PINING. THAT TOUCH-STARVED LONGING.)

99. White Walls and Dead Air – BabyHoldMyFlower (G, the one where Crowley has to physically take Aziraphale away from the plague. This one lands in this category rather than in the Body Worship/Touch-Starved/Wings category is the sheer (DESERVED) emotional vitriol Aziraphale has bottled up in him, the anger at God and Heaven, and how ragged he is from trying to stay ahead of the plague but just not being able to. Crowley helps, because of course he does, but this fic is the emotional equivalent of being put through a wringer. It’s exhausting and it’s beautiful.)

[wr0temyway0ut]

7 17 20 22 24 28 37 for the 40 Questions Meme for Fic Writers!

Hey have i mentioned lately that i freaking love and miss you

This post got very long so answers below the cut! 

(40 Questions Meme for Fic Writers)

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Tbh I’m proud of most of my work but recently I’m especially proud of this bit from Tiny Symphonies (warnings for implications of disordered eating and depression, mentions of blood and stitches): 

Bobby wants to tell Luke that he knows exactly how he feels, that he’s been in his shoes before. That he knows how pointless it feels to take care of yourself when the people who were supposed to do that for you—who were supposed to love you unconditionally— just don’t anymore. That he’s not alone; that Bobby stopped eating and sleeping and showering too, obsessing over what he could have done better, what would have made him more worthy of love. But he’s never told anyone that, not even Alex, and no one’s ever asked. Bringing it up now would make this about him, and it’s not about him, it’s about Luke. There’s no point in treating a faded scar when there’s an open gash that still needs stitches.

Just because I’m a screenwriter by trade, so most of my writing is action and dialogue, and I was sort of worried that I’d lost my touch for internal monologue or really anything that can’t be seen or heard on screen, but I think I did really well with this introspective take on Bobby, if I do say so myself.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish or do you write the scenes out of order?

Start to finish! Mostly bc with fanfic I generally don’t outline or plan ahead so I’m just seeing where the writing takes me, but even with my academic/professional work I find it hard to skip around between scenes.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

For fanfic: on my phone in bed at midnight. For everything else, on my back porch on with my cat in my lap.

22. Choose a passage from one of your older fics and edit it into your current style.

Aha okay here’s a rewritten bit from my single Good Omens fic Lift Home? I wrote in 2019 (I refuse to go any older than that)

They sit in silence for a good deal of the ride, Aziraphale clutching his books as if doing so can control Crowley’s reckless careening through the city.

As they near the bookshop, Crowley slows down ever so slightly, not that the change would be perceptible to any being without their heightened senses. Still, Aziraphale relaxes the tiniest bit, and deems it safe to break the silence.

“That really was very kind of you.”

“I said don’t mention it.”

“Well, I won’t bring it up again, but I do want you to know…” He places a gentle hand over Crowley’s on the steering wheel. “That was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

A spike of panic shoots through Crowley’s chest. Without thinking, he wrenches the steering wheel to the right, pulling his hand away from the angel’s and sending the Bentley crashing around the corner. He slams on the brakes in front of Aziraphale’s bookshop, just barely missing a fire hydrant.

With as much indifference as he can muster, Crowley drawls, “Here you are.”

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

I don’t think I have, thought lately I’ve been seriously considering orphaning my old Hamilton fics. The only reason I haven’t done it yet is because the rare email notification that someone has commented on them makes me happy.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

 @martialwriter do you count? Is this for specifically fanfic? Idk if you write fanfic but I will say it was a freaking honor to read your early drafts of the Guardians and make films with you bc you’re such a great writer. Also @a-tomb-with-a-view was sort of the first jatp writer I read when I was getting into the fandom and they continue to write astonishing pieces. I owe my entire good dad!Caleb au to @siriuslyrose and her absolutely delightful fic Are You For Me or Against Me. And @satisfictiion my old buddy from the hamilton days who is now writing a jatp percy jackson au that’s so fun and intriguing and has me on the edge of my seat. I know it said only three but also @kybee1497 and @on-irratia deserve appreciation to

37. Talk About Your Current WIPs

Ooooh boy there’s so many. So I’ve got Heart of a Dancer and The Parent Trap which are already published and in progress (i’m working on the next chapter of Heart of a Dancer rn). Honestly I have so many WIPs rn it’s just easier to post screenshots of my list

The ones I’ve actually started are the Vagabond, Finally Free, and Teenagers Scare the Living Shit Out of Me, but I’m very excited to get to the other ones. (edit: I just realized Unconditional Love has no explanation lmao, it's about Alex finding out his parents have changed and being pissed about it, framed by the song "Unconditional Love" by Against Me!)

As a bonus, here’s all the titles I went through for Tiny Symphonies before I settled on one:

[turniptitaness]

A03 Tag Game

Oh heyyyy @mentallydatingahotcelebrity thank you for tagging me in this and making me feel like an ACTUAL WRITER MY GOSH, even though it took me five days to actually do it...

How many works do you have on AO3?

Nine, which is a pleasant surprise. I thought it was more like five... Plus, one of them is a compilation of 31 little ficlets I wrote for an Ineffable Holiday challenge last year, so I suppose in a way you could say 39. I'm relatively new to writing fanfic, so I'm actually proud of myself for having this many already.

What is your total AO3 wordcount?

39,850. My goodness. That many words of fanfic. Astonishing. And that doesn't even include the stuff I have yet to post. I wonder what the word count of my original writing must be???

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Four fandoms... Good Omens (mostly), The Politician, Crimson Peak, and Only Lovers Left Alive. For someone who loves Tom Hiddleston and all his work, I have the dickens of a time writing for him. No idea why. I have an old Loki fic that I keep meaning to edit and post, but you know... Something shiny and new always comes along.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well, this will be interesting... I have no idea. Lemme just casually provide links to subtly hint that you (yes you) ought to go read my words. Just kidding. Or am I?

1. Dreams and Plans (Good Omens fic) Awww, this is the very first fic I posted! And I'm still super proud of it, so this makes me happy.

2. Holidays in the South Downs (Good Omens compilation) See, this is the one I expected to have the most kudos. It's the compilation I mentioned earlier, so I fully expected it to have the most engagement.

3. Baby Blue Transistor (Good Omens fic) Clearly, my readers are a Type. This was a "Good Omens Lockdown" fix-it fic. Because NO WAY was I going to let Crowley sleep through the pandemic and leave his angel all alone. And Aziraphale wasn't about to let that happen either.

4. Shelter from the Rain (Good Omens fic) Aw. I love this one. Writing it made me happy.

5. Crimson Past (Crimson Peak fic) It's flippin' hilarious to me that this one makes the list, since it's literally just something I threw on ao3 for a lark. But I guess if you've only got nine options to work from... 💁🏻‍♀️

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I always respond! I just get so excited at seeing that someone cared enough about something I wrote to have a reaction to it! And more people who have the same interests! It's just! So cool!!! Lucky me, so far I haven't had any really negative comments, but I would hopefully do my best to respond well to those if they ever come my way.

What is the fic you’ve written with the Angstiest ending?

Hmm. Probably Crimson Past or Will You Stay?

Crimson Past is about the aftermath of what happens in the movie, so I mean...

And Will You Stay? is a little moment between Payton Hobart and River Barkley from The Politician. Yeah. If you know you know.

I love a good bit of angst, but I mostly tend to write happy endings if possible, because I love the characters I write for and just want them to be happy. Is that too much to ask???

Do you ever write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

S...sort of? I mean, kind of. I'm not sure if it really counts. BUT ANYWAY let me talk about my most recent endeavor, okayy?

Lonely Nights is a semi-crossover of Only Lovers Left Alive/an original character that's based on the "story" of Ben Platt's cover of "You and I" by Lady Gaga. Trust me, I know it sounds weird, but to me the music video has such a strong character and even narrative that it totally counts in my brain.

Anyways, it has like 5 kudos because it's supremely random, but I had such fun writing it that I'm currently writing a sequel. And maybe even turning it into a trilogy ye gods above save me from myself.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

If I have, I deleted it and repressed the memory. Luckily I'm not big or popular enough to garner that kind of attention. Unless, as I said, I repressed it all. Apart from Good Omens, honestly the fandoms I write for are small enough that people just seem grateful for ANY new content, so it's a win-win situation. 🤣

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Oh no, I can't write smut to save my LIFE. I'm not sure why, I love reading the stuff, but somehow I just feel so foolish trying to write it. I'm much more the "fade to black" kind of writer.

I did just write a quick little rather steamy moment for Ben, my Lonely Nights + Unnamed Sequel OC, but even that was written from the perspective of an unwitting observer and was intended for comedy purposes, so yeah. And both participants were fully clothed throughout.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I'm aware... Again, being small and in tiny fandoms has its advantages.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not technically, although I am currently indebted to Mental (hi!) for donating like half of the good ideas for my current WIP, and being a cheerleader for the other half. So in a way??? Anyway, shout-out to you for being amazing, Mental. 💞

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Don't ask me that. That's mean. I could be here for days. But as of THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT, my top three (in no particular order) would have to be The Ineffables (GO), River/Payton (The Politician), and Ben/Top Secret New OC from my WIP.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Honestly, I'm pretty sure it was the Curious George fandom when I was like five years old... But that's not on ao3, so. I bet my mom still has the original manuscript somewhere in her house though, so you never know.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

It's a toss-up between Lonely Nights/its upcoming sequel, purely because I'm having so much fun with them, and Give Me One Weekend, a Politician fic, because it makes me happy to write about my boys being happy.

Okayyyyy, I'm gonna tag @missarisanitewrites even though you've probably already done this... But just in case you haven't. Mainly, I'm just a fan (curses on you for that Professor!Tom nonsense) and wanted to tag you, so. Hi. No pressure.

And also @broken-lycan because Ummmm hello you're super talented and ought to flaunt your words at every opportunity and also I miss you so Hi.

[goatmilksoda]

Small details that you may have missed if you didn’t read the Good Omens book:

Okay a few things before I start:

A) this is not an “omg you have to read the book” post. The book and show are honestly equals, both add to the story and it’s really up to you, this is actually just meant to fill in some extra details.

B) I’m focusing on Aziraphale and Crowley and their character details. This isn’t about the main plot, although there are a few details that are changed between the book and the show.

C) Spoilers are here and it will ruin some good jokes if you are planning on reading the book! (That’s why there’s the keep reading line)

1. Crowley’s favorite show is The Golden Girls

2. Both Crowley and Aziraphale dislike the police and they actually blow up an officer’s notebook.

3. Crowley, in the book, doesn’t use a garbage disposal to get rid of his plants. Instead he leaves the apartment for up to an hour before coming back with the empty pot. (My theory is that he either has a rooftop garden or runs the community garden a few blocks away)

4. Aziraphale has a computer. A big old fashioned ugly white one. He uses it to do his taxes, which he also writes down on paper and does calculations by hand to check his work. He is so accurate with the taxes that he has been investigated by the government for it.

5. Crowley owns a huge collection of soul music and other CDs (I personally think he really doesn’t like Queen, and just is cursed with it)

6. Crowley has investments and actually makes money to buy things. He doesn’t just miracle things in (and I’d assume Azira does the same). In my opinion, this also shows how rare their miracles are and explains why Azira gets so upset when his jacket gets paint on it and why he’s so relieved and happy when Crowley fixes it.

7. Aziraphale is very gay but angels and demons are sexless unless they want to make an effort.

8. Crowley’s apartment in the book is A LOT different and this is honestly the main continuity thing I wanted to point out. His apartment in the book is beautiful. Think HGTV remodeled home. Like it’s designed beautifully, constantly clean, very modern, and looks unlived in. Also his fridge doesn’t need to be plugged in and the food in it (which Crowley doesn’t eat) always stays good.

9. Crowley does read, or rather tries to. While waiting in his apartment for the end of the world, he tries to sit down with a novel but can’t focus. Take that as you will.

10. When Hastur and Ligur come to attack Crowley, Crowley looks at their “car” from out his window. It is described as being vaguely car like from first glance, but it floats, the wheels aren’t moving, and neither of them are driving. 

11. (You’ll know this one if you’ve read the deleted scenes) When Aziraphale is looking for a body to possess, he has a bit of trouble navigating, and ends up possessing an American Televangelist. The televangelist is talking about the rapture and Aziraphale comes in and absolutely destroys the man with the truth about what’s going on. The televangelist freaks out, claiming he’s being possessed by the devil. Aziraphale replies with “oh, this must be America” and before leaving, he realizes he’s on tv and gets excited. 

12. Crowley’s Bentley is from 1926, Idk where y’all are getting 1933 from.  Bonus: Crowley’s Bentley doesn’t have to be filled up with gas, but he purposely chose to fill is up one time in 1967 for a “James Bond Bullethole-in-the-windscreen transfers” 

13. Crowley’s watch is custom made for him and extremely fancy. It can tell the time in 20 world capitals, as well as “Another Place” where it just says “Too Late”

14. Although he’s not a human being, it seems as though Crowley does occasionally use the restroom every 50-100 years or so? I’m not sure myself honestly. It just says “He’d slept right through most of the 19th century, for example. Not because he needed to, simply because he enjoyed it. Although he did have to get up in 1832 to go to the lavatory” I’m just.. really confused about this one tbh. Make your own theories. 

15. Aziraphale does not have a flat above the bookshop like most fanfiction writers suggest, rather he has a back room with a kitchenette (knowing Aziraphale, he probably hasn’t updated it for a long time so it’s pretty much a full kitchen but small. It is not just a microwave and minifridge like modern kitchenettes) 

16. Heaven only watches the Sound Of Music and there are no sushi restaurants. This is how Crowley convinces Aziraphale that heaven sucks and it makes Aziraphale rather distraught.

There’s a lot more, like the extra bikers or the British Inquisition, but I really don’t want to spoil TOO much, (especially pieces of the actual plot, these are mostly little throwaway lines that add some character depth) just in case there’s some of y’all out there still planning on reading the book. Also I probably missed a few, I just kind of picked out the ones that I remembered from the book.