#az fur

[twptwp]

Please share

Hello, I contemplated it a lot, I decided it would be best. I will be sharing this beware on a rather big artist here who hurt me personally.

I will write more at the end. Please take care. Warning: the post is very big

Pestkitty is also known as Nopperabou if I remember the name correctly on other platforms such as Artfight and Youtube

*It should be noted this is very blatant lying on that guys part, I was keeping to myself for this entire time and harassed nobody, on the contrary his friends had been harassing me. I regret not writing that more clearly

I don't think I mentioned it in the original post images but I would also like to note at the time I was not an adult yet and it was my first time going on a plane... 11 hour flight completely alone is scary, no family, nobody in my family has ever travelled so far. It was a very big deal

END OF IMAGES

Description from original post on Instagram (it's a lot so I'll make it small):

HI HI PAWB! Lots and lots of people wanted me to put this together, please do share, even if you do not know the people it would be great help. The more people who know the more people who can stay safe. This post is a little overdue but I was gaslit by them into thinking these were not big issues and that I was the one being strange so it took a while for me to gain the stability to put this together, I ended up downplaying my feelings a lot and it wasn't untill somewhat recent when I realised I may be developing a new disorder from their abuse that oh... I was not wrong for my concerns and feelings; these people really are harmful. I do not condone harassment so please do not go messaging these people. Block, share, and move on. Stay safe. That is my internet mission for you🚀

I make this post because they are rather gross and dangerous and have considerably big audiences, people have told me their opinions that they should not have the platforms that they have because their behaviours are dangerous. There is more things they've done that I have not included because I would like some of my own privacy even after my private information was leaked in a comic haha... I've displayed enough behaviour from them to show who they are and what they do though, so this is enough!

This is quite intimidating for me, so, I will be going offline off of this account for a few days and just let this post simmer... Not for too long because I have some awesome art cooking HEHE but YA! If there are questions in the comments my friends will answer for me! Though, I think I've been rather transparent so I don't think there would be any.

I will also be providing more proof in my story, specifically proof that slide 10 IS that guy because quite frankly anybody could be "Instagram user" and they have fabricated stuff against me in the past so I think it would be good to prove it is that account.

Okay bla bla that is all, apologies this is such a scary and serious post especially as I like to keep my account a friendly nice place but ahhh it really has been burning at me. So, thank you for reading so very much. Bye bye pawb!

End of description^

That was a lot! So here is why I'm sharing it to Tumblr:

☆Awareness! NOBODY should have to risk getting close to these people. NOBODY.

☆Better circulation! My Instagram post got over 3000 likes, lots of shares, 100s of comment and many saves so it did very well however after a while things leave the light and become something "of the past". I notice this does not happen so much on Tumblr and things continue to be shared

☆This still effects me. The original Beware is from 3 months ago however I am currently doing this because I was restless from lastnight nightmare (I had a nightmare about these people) and now I'm all nauseous and shaky again! It's 3am and I was panicking a lot so I put this together, I'm yet to rest

And finally....

☆TAGS

I notice that if an image in a tag becomes popular enough it shows up on things like Google! Isn't that cwl! So, if a fan of these people searches for them on the internet the beware could show up which may deter them from the artist. This is great!

Thank you sincerely for your time, it is greatly appreciated. I feel calmer now that I have made this post, I regret not making it earlier but it is better now than never. Nos da ac breuddwydion melys pawb♡

[hidinginheresomewhere]

Has anyone ever been to AZ Fur Con? I’ve never been to a convention before and I’m debating going to this one since the convention center is a reasonable distance for me. There’s next to no info online and I don’t want to spend $20 for nothing lol

[golswia]

ineffable retirement

[shaiatka]

some redesigns of OCs created ~8 years ago :]

[papastrawbeary]

PapaStrawbeary Upcoming events!

[acidic-coreprocessor]

>[restoration project i worked on a couple of monthz ago fur good az new!! didnt get any before photoz and this is the only one i have before sending it off back to itz owner. but i like it so who givez a shit!!!]

[sister-spiders]

real talk: i love dressing wack but sometimes when im with people i feel a lil bad. like are people going to record us or something

[cressidagrey]

Holy Ground - Chapter 2

Summary:

Nobody knew that Azriel found his mate. Until she nearly died. This is the aftermath.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), Inner Circle Bashing (kinda), Referenced/Implied Sexual Assault, Referenced/Implied Domestic Violence, Discussion of Religion(?), Chronic Injury/Pain/Illness, Minor Character Death (It's probably nobody you love), Magical Work Accidents, Explosions, Injuries

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

Azriel’s shadows liked to spoil his mate rotten.

Not that Azriel could find anything wrong with that.

She deserved more for putting up with him. 

More than new tea from the Dawn Court and her favourite chocolate covered, wafer thin cookies from a small bakery near the Sidra…more than the occasional embroidery thread they snuck her…More than whatever animal he went to go hunt, to cover his bed in even more furs just for her. 

He nearly had enough Sable furs to have a blanket made for her for Winter Solstice��

Azriel also had half a mind to go sneak in her office later that day. 

Just as a treat for not killing either of his brothers. For being civil. 

Rhys had come over for sparring, unnannounced. 

Azriel had hoped to have some peace and quiet today, but it seemed like Rhys had other plans. 

Currently Cassian and Rhys were wrestling with less sense than they had had when they were just kids, and Azriel was cleaning his weapons, watching from the sidelines.

Azriel couldn't help but roll his eyes at the sight of his brothers roughhousing. It was typical of them to turn a simple sparring session into some kind of ridiculous competition. He focused on sharpening his knives, trying to ignore their antics.

"You know, we could also actually train properly," he called out, his tone dry. "Instead of wrestling like a bunch of children."

Cassian looked up from his grappling with Rhys, grinning. "Oh, come on Az. Don't be such a stick in the mud. Loosen up, have a little fun for once."

Azriel's expression remained impassive. "I'm perfectly capable of having fun, Cassian. But I prefer to do so without rolling around in the dirt like a wild animal."

Rhysand chuckled, standing up and clapping Cassian on the back. "It's good to let loose every now and then, Az. You should try it sometime. It might make your brooding sessions a little less depressing."

Azriel just grunted in response, not willing to engage in a verbal sparring match with Rhys. He continued to clean his weapons, hoping that the training session would end soon so he could escape his brothers' teasing.

“When did you even come home yesterday?” Cassian asked him.

Azriel looked up from his work, his expression neutral. "Around 11," he said simply.

“You didn’t come to dinner,” Rhys pointed out. “You were missed.”

He highly doubted that.

And maybe he had made that mission in Dawn just a little while longer, so that he knew that dinner would be over and when he came home, he wouldn’t need to be alone.

Azriel just shrugged. "I was busy," he said, offering no further explanation. He knew his brothers were just trying to rile him up, and he wasn't about to give them the satisfaction of a reaction.

*Are you still pissed of at me?* Rhys asked him mentally with a sigh. *I get it. But you don’t need to avoid everybody else, just because…*

*I’m not avoiding anyone,* Azriel replied, his mental voice tight. *I’m simply choosing to spend my time how I see fit.*

“I was busy,” he repeated aloud.

Cassian rolled his eyes. "You're always busy, Az. You know, there's such thing as taking a break once in a while. Spending time with your family."

Or he could spent time with his mate. He could spent time with his mate, who let him brush her hair and even braid it …who pressed kisses to his horrible scarred hands and smiled at him. 

If it was a choice between Irena or a family dinner where he didn’t want to stay longer than an hour or two, because he was still too fucking pissed off at Rhys…the choice was easy. 

“Or is there a special somebody?” Cassian teased him.

Azriel glowered at him. "It’s none of your business." He went back to working on his weapons, his expression tense.

*You can’t keep panting after Elain for the rest of your life,* Rhys said mentally. *Look, I know I didn’t…I am sorry. But she’s happy with Lucien and…*

*Don’t worry, I’ll go to a pleasure hall and pay for it if I want to fuck somebody,* Azriel shot back viciously.

Or his own hand would suffice. More than suffice, especially if…especially if Irena had let him kiss her the evening before…sometimes he waited until she disappeared into her room, and he buried his face in the pillows that smelled like her, fisted his cock and rutted like an untried boy for seconds before he came all over himself. 

It was still better than any other sex he ever had had before.

Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. "It sounds like you need to get laid," he said, chuckling. "Maybe that'll help with your bad mood."

Azriel shot him a glare. "Mind your own business, Cassian. My love life is none of your concern."

Rhysand gave him a sympathetic look. *We just want you to be happy, Az. You deserve happiness.*

“Ohhh, touchy,” Cassian said with a snort.

Azriel just gritted his teeth, his temper rising. "Cassian, if you don’t shut your mouth right now, I swear to the Mother, I’ll shut it for you."

Cassian just grinned at him. "Come on, Az. I’m just teasing you. Lighten up."

Azriel's grip on his weapons tightened. "I don't like your teasing, Cassian. And I certainly don't appreciate you making assumptions about my personal life.”

Mostly he just wanted his brothers to leave him the hell alone.

And then...then before he could say another thing...he felt the shaking.

And then the sound came. An eardrum shattering explosion, the very foundation of the House of Wind shaking. It was terrifying him.

Irena was down there in her office. Nesta was in there. 

He was moving before he was even thinking. 

*Merrill's office, Master!* the shadows screeched.

Azriel was already running.

Cassian hot on his heels, so was Rhys.

Azriel was faster, heaving shadows around his limbs as he rocketed down the spiral stairs of the House of Wind.

Level Two, Straight to the right. Clearly...Clearly the epicenter of the blast. Of the explosion…of whatever had happened.

He pushed as hard as he could, legs burning as he hurtled down the hallway to Merrill's office.

He wasn't the only one. "Merrill!" He could hear Gwyn's shrill voice screaming, coming to a stop in a hallway of what had once been Merrill's office but now was just...

It was a mass of wood and rubble.

He barely slowed down, scrambling into action. Gwyn was already digging through it, so where Nesta and Emerie. Cassian landed behind him, immediately moving some of the debris.

His shadows swarmed as he and the others quickly dug at the rubble. Looking, desperately looking.

He moved another piece of rubble out of the way...a piece of blue cloths. The same blue cloth that he knew covered Irena's body, the scent of poppies clinging to her...Without a thought, he grasped and then dragged, a hoarse shout that was her, that was her...

He felt as if he were choking, as if he were drowning as he dragged out her body. Bloody, bruised, broken but still...still there was a faint flicker, a faint, thready heartbeat.

His heartbeat pounding in his ears, he tried to pick up on her heart. There was barely a flicker. Too fast, too faint, she was barely holding on. Barely hanging by a thread.

There was blood pooling on her abdomen, dying the blue dress she wore bright scarlet red, He put pressure on that wound immediately, leaning on her with nearly all his weight, his fingers slick with blood. "Damn it, stay with me, love," he demanded sharply.

Azriel felt like he could barely breath. Like he was falling, tumbling down as he tried to will her to stay with him. Stay. Stay. Stay. Please stay. Stay...

Rhys was there suddenly, checking her pulse. "Breathing is erratic. She's in shock," he told Azriel with a grimace. "Mor is getting Madja..."

"Az..." her voice was so weak, but he turned to see dark brown eyes watching him, brows furrowing.

"Just keep breathing, Love," he told her, trying to stop his voice from shaking.

He could barely hear what was going on around him. It was as if he were in a bubble, a world of just himself and her and the desperate beat of her heart under his fingers.

"I am sorry," she whispered.

"There is nothing you need to apologise for her, Irena," he promised her sharply. "Absolutely nothing."

Irena's eyes drifted shut. Azriel felt like something was dying inside him as her heartbeat fluttered against his fingertips. His world was collapsing, shattering into pieces as her breath stuttered.

"Stay. Just stay..." he was barely aware of what he was saying, his eyes frantically searching hers. She had to stay. He would do anything to keep her here. Anything.

"I am still owing you that flight," he told her. She hadn't let him take her flying yet. They had snuck away in the library...in the rooftop garden...in her office. But he had never gotten to take her flying. He had never gotten to take her out into Velaris. They had never had a date at a fancy restaurant, had never gone to see the symphony. There were thousands of things that he hadn't yet gotten to do with his mate, because they had all the time in the world.

Irena just stared at him, her eyes pleading, as her heartbeat slowed, fluttering weaker and weaker. Azriel felt a sharp pain in his chest as fear clawed at his spine. "Just hold on a little longer, love," he whispered. "Please."

And then there Madja. Thank the cauldron. There she was.

Azriel could barely manage to let go of her, his mind consumed with the singular thought of Irena's laboured, erratic heartbeat as he moved back. Madja immediately set to work.

He lunged for her head, lunged to pull it on his lap, to touch her with blood slick fingertips, her normally rosy red lips pale, her skin even whiter than usual.

"Hurts," she whispered, as Madja set to work, barking orders.

"I know, I know, love," he whispered, touching her cheek with his fingertips as Madja got to work.

His eyes searched hers as he murmured those words over and over, as if he could somehow hold her in this world through sheer force of will alone.

"We haven't had enough time," he whispered desperately, leaning his forehead against hers.

She was slipping away. He could feel it. Feel her slipping, feel her heartbeat slow. Feel the thread that tethered her to this world fray, fray, fray...

No. He couldn't lose her. Would not let her leave him. He had waited far too long for her. Far, far too long to let her slip through his fingers.

"Stay with me," he pleaded. "Please stay with me."

But her eyes were slipping shut, her head lolling to the side. He gently patted her cheek, trying to urge her back to consciousness, but he didn't think he was even really aware of what he was doing, where he was. The world had boiled down to a desperate litany, in his head. Stay...stay...please...don't you dare...

“I am going to be so furious with you if you die. We may have our first fight,” he told her fiercely.

He needed her to know that he would be there to be furious with her if she dared to die, that she couldn't die. Couldn't. That she had to stay. Had to keep fighting. There were too many things ahead of them...a wedding to plan, children to have, years and years of life to live.

“Az,” she breathed his name, her eyes not even open anymore.

“Open your eyes, Irena,” he demanded. “Look at me, love,”

Her eyes finally fluttered open at his command. It was barely more than a slither of brown, but he latched onto it, taking it for what it was. A chance. A moment to get through to her.

He wasn't sure what he was saying, but the words spilled forth from him, a litany, a desperate prayer. "Please," he breathed, "don't go...don't you dare..."

He was dimly aware that the others had gathered, but he didn't dare look away. Didn't dare look away from her as he cradled her head, trying to pour all of his prayers into those words. All of his hope and desperation.

"You can't go." A statement. An order. An absolute certainty in his voice. "I will not let you go."

He wouldn't. Would never, ever let her go. Would drag her back from the Cauldron's grasp with bloodied and broken hands if thats what had to be.

She didn't speak. Didn't need to. He could read her answer in her eyes, the determination in those brown eyes as she tried so, so hard to stay.

It was as if she were holding on for him, because he had asked her to. Because it was him there with her. Like she would fight until her last breath because he told her too. He didn't deserve this beautiful creature, who was willing to fight for him, willing to live for him.

It was something primal, something desperate, something fierce as he whispered those words over and over, like a prayer. "Fight. Fight. Fight."

And she listened. She did. He could feel her hold on, just barely grasp hold of that tether that kept her in this world. Just barely keep her eyes open.

Just look at him.

And she did, those dark eyes unfocused but open, staring up at him, watching him. Trying so, so hard. It nearly made his heart stop in the most terrible way that she was struggling for him.

And he was so proud of her. Of the way she was fighting like she was. Of the way she was grasping, hanging on to life like she was.

The seconds stretched too thin, feeling like eternities and only the slightest of moments. But her eyes were open, if only barely. She hadn't given up. Hadn't let go.

He was dimly aware of the others, Gwyn hovering with a worried expression, Madja murmuring quiet instructions to the others, Rhys kneeling not far away. But he barely glanced at them, barely dared to take his eyes off Irena.

He was certain that if he looked away, if he let this tenuous thread sever, that she would die. That as long as he kept her here, she wouldn't slip, wouldn't let go.

He had one hand on her cheek, her skin still clammy and pale, as her eyes slipped open and shut. But everytime, they would find his face. His eyes, like he was the only thing tethering her to the world. It hurt. Hurt so much to see her barely holding on, only that last sliver of determination keeping her here.

"Please," he pleaded, whispering those words like a prayer, like he would be praying to a vengeful god. Those moments felt like eternities, stretching on and on with only his desperate whispers. "Please..."

The world felt so still, so silent as if the world was holding its breath. Azriel's eyes locked on Irena, silently begging her, asking her to please, please...

Live, live live... he whispered those words over and over, a desperate plea to the Mother, the Cauldron, to anyone who would listen. To Irena, the only person in the entire world who truly mattered in that moment.

Her eyes were growing glassy, slipping closed only to jerk open again. Stay he demanded. Keep looking at me. Please.

She tried. Mother, she tried. Her eyes drifted to him, the smallest hint of life, of a spark there in those dark brown eyes.

He hardly dared to breathe, hardly dared to move. Afraid that any wrong move could tip her over the edge, could pull her into that chasm of non-existence that she was desperately clinging too.

He felt something pricking at his eyes, felt something in his chest cracking, breaking at the sheer intensity of emotions thrumming through him. It hurt. Hurt so much to see her like this, so pale, barely holding on, barely conscious...

“Alright,” Madja said quietly. “Good girl. You were so very brave.”

"Will...will she be alright?" He asked, voice hoarse.

He didn't let his eyes drift from Irena's face, her half lidded eyes staring at him. It filled him with such an intense pang of relief and fear at the same time. Relief, because she was alive...and fear, because they had been so close to losing her.

"She's not out of the woods yet," Madja warned. "But she'll make it. She lost a lot of blood. It will take some time to get her vitals stable again."

He felt like he could breathe for the first time. It was almost dizzying, the sheer, intense relief that flooded through him. Irena was here. Irena would live. It filled his veins with an almost drug like euphoria, that made him light headed, a smile twitching at the corners of his lips.

He barely managed to keep that feeling in, the pure euphoria from showing as he smoothed a strand of hair back from her face. "Thank you," he whispered, voice hoarse, eyes finally dragging away from Irena's face to look at Madja. "Just...thank you."

He looked back at Irena, taking in her face. Alive. Still alive. Still here with him, not gone. The tension seeped from his shoulders, a strange sort of exhaustion taking over. As if all the adrenaline that had fueled him, the fear, was slowly draining out of him like water.

“Merrill,” Irena whispered, her voice near silent.

Azriel felt his fingers brush her cheek, just the gentlest touch as he tried to keep it together. It had been too close. Too, too close. He couldn't stop the overwhelming feelings flowing through him of elation and fear as he looked down at her as he looked down at her, alive. Alive and breathing and whispering soft words. "Shhh," he whispered softly. "Save your strength. Don't strain yourself."

He looked up finding Cassians gaze who just shook his head. Merrill was dead.

Azriel couldn't quite process that information, not in that moment. His eyes were still drawn to Irena, still unable to take his eyes off of her for more than a moment. His fingers brushed her cheek again, just the faintest touch as he pressed a small kiss to her forehead. "Rest," he instructed softly. "I'll be right there.” He promised.

“Being here to her room,” Madja said quietly.

“My room,” he corrected.

The priestesses dormitory was locked from males. If he even tried to get in there it would’ve end well for him. And he wouldn’t leave her side.

“Your room?” Gwyn asked sharply.

“Gwyn,” Rhys said quietly.Azriel didn't even acknowledge Gwyn's words, didn't have the energy. All he could focus on was the way Irena's eyes had drifted shut, the steady rise and fall of her chest. She would be alright. She was going to be alright. She was alive. Right now, in that moment, thats all that mattered.

“Az, how long have the two of you…” Cassian asked hesitantly.

Azriel just shrugged, his hand resting on Irena's hair, smoothing back from her face. “Two years. She’s my mate,” he said flatly as he gathered her up. 

“Mate,” she rasped. “Mine.”

“Yours,” he agreed softly.

[callsigns-haze]

-ˋˏ The week it all went south ˎˊ-

Part 3

Part 1 here Part 2 here

Pairing: Azriel x Rhysand's sister!reader

Azriel has the perfect life. You as his wife. Kaia as his daughter. But him and the boys are stupid enough to challenge you for a week and then his perfect life might simply...disappear

Warning: ANGST, mentions of past lovers, mentions of sex, cursing, kissing, mentions of injured child, drinking, mentions of character death (nobody is dead though they just mention it), throwing up, Az being an ass and MC being a badass mama, kidnapping, mentions of physical force against characters.

Word count: 18.3k

“Uncle Cassy? Rhysie?” she tried again, her voice louder this time but shaky.

A gust of wind rushed past her, and she stumbled, dropping her stuffed toy in the snow. Kaia gasped, quickly bending down to retrieve it. When she straightened, her eyes caught movement—a flicker of brown fur darting between the trees.

“Bun-bun!” she exclaimed, her fear momentarily forgotten. Her small legs carried her forward as fast as they could, her wings flaring with determination.

She followed the bunny deeper into the woods, unaware of the growing distance between herself and safety. The snow was deeper here, and she struggled to push through it, her breaths coming in soft puffs.

Finally, she came to a small clearing. The bunny had stopped in the middle, its nose twitching as it nibbled on something hidden in the snow. Kaia’s face lit up with delight, and she dropped to her knees, crawling closer.

“Hi, bun-bun,” she whispered, her voice soft with awe. “Kaia not scare you.”

The bunny twitched its ears, watching her cautiously but not running this time. Kaia reached out a mittened hand, her tiny fingers trembling with excitement.

But before she could touch it, another strong gust of wind blew through the clearing, sending a flurry of snow into the air. The bunny bolted, disappearing into the trees.

Kaia froze, her outstretched hand hovering in the air. She blinked at the spot where the bunny had been, her heart sinking as she realized it was gone.

“Bun-bun…” she whispered, her voice breaking.

The clearing felt empty now, and the cold pressed in on her small frame. Kaia stood up, hugging her toy close and looking around. Everything looked the same—the same tall trees, the same snow-covered ground. She spun in a slow circle, panic beginning to bubble in her chest.

“Dada?” she called, louder this time. “Rhysie?!”

Her voice echoed through the woods, but no one answered. The realization hit her all at once—she was lost.

Tears welled up in her big hazel eyes, spilling over and freezing on her flushed cheeks. Kaia sniffled, wiping at them with her mittens, but they kept coming.

“Kaia sowwy…” she whimpered to no one in particular, her small frame shaking as she clutched her toy tighter. She took a shaky step forward, then another, unsure of where she was going but desperate to find someone—anyone.

“Kaia cold…” she whispered, her voice breaking as she trudged further into the unknown, the trees swallowing her tiny figure in their shadowy embrace.

-----

Cassian and Rhys sprinted through the snow, their boots crunching harshly against the ground as they called out for Kaia. Their voices echoed off the trees, but all they received in return was the sound of the wind howling through the forest, the world around them unnervingly silent.

"Kaia!" Cassian shouted, his voice hoarse with a mix of fear and desperation. His wings flared behind him, instinctively seeking altitude, trying to get a better view, but the snow and trees blocked his sight.

Rhys was no better. He was using his magic, casting them out like dark tendrils, hoping they would find her scent, hoping they would be able to pinpoint her location. His face was taut, the normally calm and collected High Lord now fraught with panic, his chest tight as he pushed forward.

"Where the hell could she be?!" Rhys snapped, his teeth gritted as he forced himself to stay calm, despite the growing panic clawing at his chest. His magic stretched across the landscape, but they couldn’t seem to find her.

“Kaia!” Cassian yelled again, his voice cracking as he scanned every tree, every path they’d passed. “Baby, where are you?”

His heart pounded painfully in his chest, and it felt like every second that passed only made the distance between them and her grow wider. His mind raced—she’s too small to be out here alone. She’s too young. The snow— His breath hitched, and his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“Rhys, we’ve searched everywhere. We need to—” Cassian stopped mid-sentence, his gaze frantically darting between the trees. He could hear nothing except his own frantic breathing. No sign of her, not even the faintest trace. His wings rustled anxiously as he moved through the snow, but it was like she’d just vanished into thin air.

“No,” Rhys whispered under his breath, shaking his head as if to push the thought away. “She can’t be gone.”

Rhys's eyes were wild as he searched the surroundings, his gaze sweeping over the trees. His usually calm demeanour was slipping, his worry palpable in the way his posture was stiff and rigid. “Cassian, we need to find her. We—”

Suddenly, Rhys’s hand flew to his chest, his breath catching. A surge of panic surged through him, and he spun, locking eyes with Cassian. “We can’t lose her. We can’t…”

Cassian’s wings twitched as his frustration boiled over. “We won’t. We’ll find her, Rhys,” he barked, his voice louder than before, but even his own words didn’t seem to soothe the storm of worry that was overtaking him. "Kaia! Come on, baby, where are you?"

They both continued to push forward, searching for any sign, but it was like the forest itself had swallowed her whole. The snow crunched beneath their feet, but every direction they turned only seemed to get colder, darker, and more empty.

Rhys was beginning to lose his focus, the lack of any trace of her driving him to the edge of his control. "She has to be here," he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to Cassian. His shadows were no help, his power failing him in the vast expanse of the woods.

Cassian glanced over at Rhys, his face pale with worry. The wind picked up, biting into their skin, making it harder to breathe and focus. The trees seemed to loom taller, closing in on them with every step they took, the very environment mocking their efforts to find her.

"Kaia!" They both shouted again in unison, their voices overlapping, but the silence that followed was deafening.

"I— I can’t—" Cassian’s voice faltered as he stopped abruptly, taking in a shaky breath. The panic was suffocating, his heart hammering in his chest like it would burst. His thoughts raced through his mind in a chaotic mess, and his wings drooped slightly in exhaustion. The cold gnawed at him, but it was nothing compared to the terror swelling in his chest.

Rhys stepped forward, his eyes scanning every direction. He reached out with his shadows again, desperation thick in his voice. “Kaia...”

They both paused, hearts pounding, waiting for some sign of her—anything to guide them. But nothing came.

“Where the hell are you, Kaia?” Cassian’s voice broke through the quiet, his hands clenched into fists.

They were losing time. Each minute that passed felt like an eternity, and with every step, the dread sank deeper into their chests.

The temperature was dropping quickly, and both Cassian and Rhys could feel it—sharp and biting against their skin. The once soft, powdery snow now seemed to cling to them, heavier, as the wind picked up, howling through the trees with an eerie howl. The cold was seeping deeper into their bones, an oppressive chill that made their breaths come out in white puffs, cutting through the silence around them.

Cassian shivered despite the fire in his chest, the cold gnawing at him in a way that he couldn’t ignore. He looked up, squinting against the wind, his heart racing in his chest. "She’s too small for this..." His words were barely audible against the wind, but the deepening cold in the air only made his worry grow worse. She can’t be out here, not in this.

Rhys clenched his jaw, his usual calm demeanour cracking under the weight of fear. "It’s getting worse..." he muttered, his hand instinctively moving to his chest as if to steady the growing panic inside him. He called to his magic once more, desperate for any sign of Kaia. Where are you? His mind screamed, but the answer never came.

Cassian’s wings twitched uncomfortably as the freezing air wrapped around him, pushing against him as if the forest itself were trying to separate them from the rest of the world. The cold was only getting sharper, and it felt like it was closing in on them. The once beautiful landscape, full of snow-capped trees and quiet serenity, now seemed like an endless maze, trapping them in its grasp.

“The wind’s picking up... she’s not prepared for this,” Rhys said, his voice tight with concern. He turned to Cassian, his dark eyes filled with a mixture of dread and frustration. "We have to find her. Now."

Cassian nodded sharply, the cold digging into his bones as if trying to freeze the fear within him. The air felt heavy, pressing in on him, as if the world was holding its breath in anticipation. His wings were flared again, and he was desperately searching for any movement in the trees, any glimpse of Kaia’s small form.

"Kaia!" Rhys shouted once more, his voice cutting through the cold silence. “Where are you?”

The wind howled in response, but there was still no answer. Nothing but the crushing silence and the cold, creeping into their bodies, making each step feel heavier than the last.

Cassian’s breath hitched in his throat as the realization set in. The temperature was dropping, and it was doing so rapidly. If they didn’t find her soon, the cold could be more than she could handle. Her wings weren’t built for this—too young, too small, and unprepared for the harsh winds that swept through the mountainside.

Rhys’s expression hardened, his power flaring around him, but even his shadows couldn’t find her. "We need to move faster, Cassian," he urged, his voice tight with urgency. “If she’s out here in this, she won’t last much longer.”

Cassian didn’t need to hear any more. His wings beat hard against the icy air, carrying him deeper into the forest, his eyes scanning every corner, every shadow, but the cold kept pushing back against them. The chill pressed into his skin like a vice, and his heart pounded in his chest, matching the fear that rose within him.

The two of them continued to search, but the weight of the freezing air, the deafening silence that surrounded them, and the growing panic made it harder to focus. She has to be out there. They both thought. But each second felt like an eternity, and with every passing minute, the temperature dropped further.

"Kaia!" Rhys called once more, his voice almost a growl, but still no response came. The wind cut through him, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of dread that churned in his stomach.

The cold wasn’t just a physical threat—it was a symbol of the fear that had lodged deep inside them both.

-----

Kaia crouched under the large tree, hugging her toy tightly to her chest, her small wings wrapped around her body for warmth. Her toddler instincts had led her deeper into the forest, further away from the safety of the cabin and the sounds of her uncles’ calls. The cold had numbed her little hands and made her cheeks flush a bright pink, but she was determined to stay where she was, feeling safer in the shadows beneath the thick branches.

The wind howled above her, the snow swirling like a blizzard as the forest seemed to close in on her. The trees creaked, their branches swaying violently in the wind, but Kaia barely noticed the icy cold seeping deeper into her bones. Her wide, innocent eyes were focused on the soft movement around her—just a small speck of motion that caught her attention. Her instincts tingled, a small sense of curiosity overriding any lingering fear.

From the corner of her eye, a figure emerged from the shadows—tall, cloaked in dark, tattered fabric that fluttered eerily in the wind. Kaia’s eyes narrowed as the figure came closer, her small body still trembling from the cold. The figure’s face was hidden beneath a heavy hood, but Kaia could see the sharp outline of its face—a hollow, ghostly shape that sent a brief pang of unease through her chest.

But then the voice came—low, croaky, as if it had been unused for far too long. It rasped through the air like dry leaves.

"Come here, little one..." The figure’s voice was unnaturally soft, almost coaxing, as it reached down towards Kaia. "Come with me... I’ll keep you safe."

Kaia blinked, her confusion clear on her face as she looked up at the figure. She didn’t recognize the voice, but the words... they were so familiar. Safe. It sounded so comforting in her small, innocent mind, a reassurance she hadn’t realized she needed until now.

Her little hands grasped her toy tighter, but the figure’s voice soothed her, and the warmth in its tone seemed to push away the lingering fear from the cold and the isolation.

“Come... you’ll be warm with me. I’ll take you somewhere safe, where no one can hurt you...” The figure’s hand extended further, reaching for Kaia with long, skeletal fingers, the tips twitching like a spider’s legs. It was as if it knew the deep vulnerability of a child alone in the snow and how easily it could be manipulated.

Kaia’s eyes flickered from the figure’s hand to its face, but she didn’t see the danger, her dada always protected her from it. All she saw was something that promised warmth, protection—things that she needed in the moment. Her tiny mind, too young and trusting to see the threat, reached out and took a hesitant step toward the cloaked figure.

“Safe...” Kaia muttered, her toddler speech slurring as she spoke the word with complete faith. She moved forward a few steps, the wind biting at her cheeks, but still, the figure seemed to offer something she couldn’t resist.

The figure’s hand hovered just out of reach, beckoning her closer, and Kaia took another step, her wings twitching with uncertainty but not enough to stop her from moving forward.

"Yes, that’s it. Come with me, and you’ll be safe," the voice croaked again, and it felt like the only thing Kaia needed to hear in that moment.

She took another step, the promise of safety outweighing the concerns in her tiny heart. The figure’s cold presence was nothing more than a shadow against the warmth of the words it spoke.

And for the first time since running away from the cabin, Kaia felt a flicker of something warm inside her—something that made her trust this cloaked stranger without hesitation.

-----

The snow was heavier now, falling in thick, relentless sheets. The once-silent woods had transformed into a labyrinth of white, where each tree and path seemed indistinguishable from the next. The wind whipped through the branches, howling like a creature in pain, and the temperature had dropped further. Every minute they spent out here was a risk they couldn't afford.

Rhys and Cassian had been searching for over an hour, their hearts pounding in their chests as they called Kaia’s name again and again, but the only answer was the howling wind and the creaking of trees. The world had become a blur of white, the snow underfoot crunching with every step they took, but it was as if Kaia had vanished into thin air.

Rhys wiped the snow from his face, his violet eyes darting over the trees, his senses straining to catch any trace of her. He could feel the overwhelming panic creeping into his chest, a tightness that refused to loosen. Kaia’s small, fragile form—so vulnerable in this brutal environment—was all he could think about. The thought of her out here alone, with the temperature continuing to plummet, made every inch of his body ache with worry.

“Where is she, Cass?” Rhys snapped, his voice tight with barely contained frustration. He knew they’d searched every inch of this area, and yet there was nothing. No sign of her footprints, no faint trace of her presence, no little voice calling out to them.

Cassian was no better off. His wings were heavy with snow, his breath coming in sharp gasps as he scanned the woods. His heart had started to race long ago, the cold starting to settle deep in his bones. "We can’t keep doing this, Rhys," Cassian said, his voice strained, “We’ve covered every inch of this damn forest. We’re not going to find her out here like this.”

Rhys' face twisted in frustration, his mind whirling with guilt. “We can’t stop searching! She’s out there somewhere, Cass. We can’t—”

Cassian cut him off with a sharp shake of his head, his voice low and pained. “If we stay out here any longer, we’re going to freeze. The temperature’s dropping fast, and we’re losing our daylight. We can’t keep going like this, not without risking more lives.”

Rhys clenched his jaw, his hands balled into fists as the realization sank in. He knew Cassian was right. Their wings were covered in snow, their bodies cold and numb from the exposure. And worst of all, their search wasn’t yielding any results. They were only growing weaker and more disoriented by the second.

The harsh reality struck him—Kaia couldn’t survive out here for much longer. The cold, her wings still so new and fragile, and the isolation. She wouldn’t have the strength to make it on her own for long. Rhys’ heart dropped like a stone in his chest.

“We need to go back to the cabin and get help,” Rhys said, his voice low, filled with the weight of dread. “We can’t risk any more time out here.”

Cassian nodded grimly, and they both turned, reluctantly heading back in the direction they had come from. The snow had begun to swirl around them more violently now, their path obscured with each passing second.

It felt like the entire forest was conspiring against them.

They moved with urgency, but there was no escaping the sinking feeling in their stomachs. With every step, their hopes seemed to slip further away, the cold gnawing at their very souls. Cassian’s thoughts were consumed with guilt—how could he have let this happen? How had he failed to keep an eye on her? Kaia was just a baby, so small and so trusting.

“How long until she can’t survive out here?” Cassian muttered, his voice tight with emotion. Rhys didn’t answer, because they both knew the answer. The temperature was dropping so rapidly, and Kaia was just a little girl with tiny wings—she could be so easily lost to the cold. And truly Rhysand knows she'd be dead by now.

“Don’t talk like that, Cass,” Rhys snapped, his voice strained, his fists clenched tightly as they pushed forward.

“Just saying it like it is,” Cassian muttered back, his voice rough.

The moment Rhysand and Cassian reached the cabin, exhaustion hanging heavy in their bones, Rhys wasted no time. His heart pounded in his chest, the weight of their failure in not finding Kaia pressing down on him like an iron vice. His wings were stiff with the cold, and his breath came in ragged gasps as he staggered into the warmth of the cabin.

He didn’t even take a moment to pause. His mind was already reaching out to Morrigan, his thoughts sharp and urgent.

Mor, he projected mentally, his voice laced with panic, get over here, now. Bring Emerie with you.

He felt a brief, sharp moment of silence, then the flicker of Morrigan’s presence, her steady, confident tone coming through in response.

On our way, Rhys, Morrigan’s voice came through, smooth as silk but filled with a clear sense of urgency. What’s happening?

Rhys didn’t have time for pleasantries. He inhaled sharply, his eyes narrowing with barely controlled panic.

Kaia’s gone, he said, his voice heavy with the weight of his words. She’s somewhere out there, and we’ve lost her. We need help now—Emerie’s skills will be vital.

There was a pause. He could sense the shift in Morrigan’s thoughts, her usual unshakable calm now touched with concern.

We’re winnowing now, she replied quickly. Hold on, Rhys.

And just like that, the presence of Morrigan and Emerie vanished from his mind. He reached for Cassian, who was pacing by the door, his face pinched with guilt and frustration.

“They’ll be here,” Rhys said firmly, trying to give his friend something to hold onto in the face of the uncertainty. “Mor and Emerie are on their way.”

Cassian didn’t look reassured. His eyes were still filled with the same terror Rhys had been carrying since they first realized Kaia was missing. But at least they had done something. At least they had people on their side who could help.

The air in the cabin felt suffocating as they waited, every second dragging by in painful silence.

Rhys glanced back toward the door, the tension hanging thick in the air. Every time the wind howled outside, it felt like a reminder of how much time they were losing. How much they couldn’t afford to waste.

Then, with a crackle of energy, the faint sound of the winnow shimmered in the air, and the door slammed open. Morrigan and Emerie appeared in an instant, stepping into the cabin with force and purpose.

“Where is she?” Morrigan asked, her voice firm yet laced with concern as she took in the sight of both males standing there, clearly drained.

Rhys exhaled sharply, his voice tight. “She ran off into the woods. We’ve been searching, but we’ve hit a wall. The cold’s gotten worse, and we can’t afford to waste any more time.”

Emerie was already moving, her dark eyes scanning the room. “I’ll go with Mor,” she said quietly, her voice unwavering. “We’ll track her together.”

Morrigan nodded and winnowed again, Emerie following right behind her. Rhys and Cassian shared one last look before Rhys reached for his brother's arm.

“We’ll be here,” Cassian said quietly, his voice strained. He swallowed hard, doing everything in his power not to show the fear gnawing at him.

“Do what you have to,” Rhys replied, clapping Cassian’s shoulder briefly before turning back, where they would wait. It was all they could do. All they couldn’t do, it felt like.

Rhys stood in the center of the cabin, the silence suffocating around him. His heart pounded against his ribcage as he stared at the door through which Morrigan and Emerie had just left, their forms already vanished in the winnow. His body was still tense, but in his mind, the only thought running over and over was how he had failed.

He had failed you.

He had failed Azriel.

And worse of all, he had failed Kaia.

The knot in his chest grew tighter as his hands clenched at his sides, the cold bite of his fingers doing little to ground him. Kaia, his niece—the child he had vowed to protect—was out there in the forest, alone, in the freezing cold. The thought of her vulnerable, small wings not ready for the chill that was settling over the land, it felt like a blade twisting inside his gut.

He couldn’t—no, wouldn’t—let that happen.

His thoughts turned to you. He couldn’t even imagine the fear you would feel when you woke up and found that your daughter was gone. You had enough to deal with, with Kaia’s early birth, the struggle it took to get her healthy and safe. Rhys had promised himself that he would always be there for you, that no matter what happened, you and your family would never suffer in silence.

And now, he’d failed.

The weight of the responsibility, the lives of everyone he cared about—Azriel, his brother who had already been through so much, had been through hell just to get to where they were—pressed on Rhys’s chest like an anchor. How could he have let this happen? How had he not seen the signs earlier, that Kaia might slip away, that she might wander off like this? He had taken his eyes off her for seconds.

Seconds.

It was those seconds that had been enough for her to slip away, enough for the cold to set in, enough for everything to go wrong.

Rhys stepped toward the window, the weight of his own failure nearly crippling him. His wings hung heavily behind him, almost dragging the ground as he stood there. The wind outside howled with fury, the snow piling in thick layers. It was as if nature itself was mocking him for not being able to protect his family.

His mind flashed to Azriel—the look in his eyes when he realized Kaia was missing, the way Azriel had begged him to find her, his quiet desperation filling every word. How could he explain to Azriel, to you, how he had failed them both?

“You promised you’d keep her safe, Rhys,” he whispered to himself, his voice barely audible over the howl of the wind. “You promised.”

It was an empty promise now, hanging in the air like a ghost. The weight of the world, the weight of his promises, felt like it was about to crush him.

But he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t break down completely, not now. Not when Kaia was still out there, not when there was still a chance to bring her back.

He pressed his hands to his face, taking a deep, shaky breath. His mind began to race again, to push through the overwhelming grief and guilt, forcing himself to think. They would find her. He wouldn’t give up.

But the guilt of failing—of letting you down, of letting Azriel down, of letting Kaia down—was going to follow him for a long time.

Cassian sank down onto the couch, his body heavy with exhaustion and dread. His legs felt like they might give out beneath him, the weight of the search, the worry, and the guilt pressing down on him in waves. His hand ran through his hair, gripping it as though he could pull out the frustration, the fear, and the helplessness that had settled deep inside him.

His breath was ragged, his chest tight with the panic of what had just happened. He could still feel the cold of the forest, the snow biting at his skin, the echo of Kaia’s laughter ringing in his ears, the way she had run off so carelessly. He had let his guard down, he never does that. He had promised to keep an eye on her, to make sure she was safe—and he had failed.

He looked over at Rhys, who was standing near the window, his posture rigid, his face drawn with the same pain that was gnawing at Cassian. They both knew what this felt like—what it meant. It wasn’t just about Kaia being out there in the cold. It wasn’t just about the dangers she might be facing. It was the weight of responsibility, the crushing sense of failure that came with not being able to protect the ones you loved.

Cassian’s heart clenched at the thought of you, of how you’d feel when you woke up and realized Kaia was missing. He couldn’t bear to imagine the horror in your eyes, the panic, the worry that would consume you. And Azriel… Azriel, who had already been through so much. He would be devastated. How could he look him in the eye knowing that Kaia, his little girl, was lost?

Cassian’s hands balled into fists, but he didn’t have the energy to release the tension in his body. His eyes flickered to the door, his mind racing, trying to come up with a plan. They couldn’t give up. Not now. They couldn’t let the cold or the darkness defeat them.

But even as the thought crossed his mind, the nagging doubt crept in. What if it was too late? What if the cold had already taken Kaia, already—

“Dammit,” he muttered under his breath, his voice tight with emotion. He slammed his fist into the cushion, trying to release some of the frustration, the helplessness, the overwhelming guilt.

He had failed. He had promised he would protect her, and now…

Cassian clenched his jaw, trying to hold it together. But the weight of the failure, the guilt of what had happened, settled deeper into his bones.

“We’ll find her, Cass,” Rhys’s voice broke through his thoughts, a quiet but steady reassurance. But even Rhys’s calm tone couldn’t fully mask the fear and guilt they both shared.

Cassian nodded, though he didn’t believe the words as much as he wanted to. The thought of Kaia out there alone, vulnerable… it was too much.

He had to hold onto the hope, but in that moment, it felt like the darkness would swallow them all.

Nearly three hours had passed, and every minute felt like a lifetime. The cabin was heavy with the silence of defeat as Rhysand and Cassian anxiously paced back and forth, each man lost in his own tortured thoughts. The cold outside had only grown more intense, and the weight of the search hung over them like an unbearable cloud.

Finally, they heard the unmistakable sound of the winnow, the sudden rush of air that signalled the arrival of Morrigan and Emerie. But as the door opened and the two women stepped inside, there was no joy in their faces, no relief in their posture. The hope they had arrived with seemed to have dissipated, replaced by something heavier—something darker.

Morrigan’s jaw was set tight, her eyes dark with the same frustration and helplessness that had taken root in both Rhys and Cassian. Emerie’s face was even grimmer, her usually sharp, determined gaze clouded with the weight of failure.

“We’ve searched every inch of the area we could,” Morrigan said quietly, her voice tight, as though even speaking the words was too much. She let out a slow breath, trying to steady herself, but the sorrow was clear in her expression. “The wind and the snow have wiped away any tracks. We couldn’t find anything, Rhys. Nothing.”

Rhys and Cassian both stood frozen, the reality of her words sinking into them like a cold, hard stone.

Cassian’s heart twisted painfully in his chest, and for a brief moment, the room seemed to spin. He wanted to argue, to fight, to demand that they keep searching, but he knew deep down that Morrigan was right. If she couldn’t find her, no one could.

“What do you mean nothing?” Cassian asked, his voice barely above a whisper, but the desperation was clear. He wasn’t ready to give up, not yet. “You’re telling me she’s… gone?”

Emerie, who had been silently observing, finally spoke, her voice quiet but heavy with the weight of the truth. “The snowstorm is getting worse, and we’ve done everything we can. I’ve searched the forest using my power, but there’s no trace of her. No scent, no sign. It’s like she vanished.”

“Damn it…” Cassian’s voice cracked as he tried to control the rising panic in his chest. His fists clenched at his sides, and his eyes blurred with unshed tears. He couldn’t process what he was hearing. His little niece, the one he had promised to protect, was… gone.

Rhys looked over at him, his eyes filled with a kind of understanding, but it didn’t help. Cassian didn’t need understanding. He needed Kaia.

“I don’t…” Rhys started, his voice faltering for the first time since they’d arrived. “I don’t understand. How can she just vanish? Where the hell is she?”

“She’s lost in the woods,” Morrigan said softly, shaking her head as though she too couldn’t believe it. “But it’s not just the woods. The weather’s too much, and her wings… they aren’t fully developed. It’s too cold for her out there. We all know that.”

Cassian couldn’t breathe. Every word felt like a punch to the gut, and yet there was no escape from the weight of them. He had failed her. He had promised to protect her, and now he had no way to make it right. He didn’t know how to even begin to fix this.

“Are we… are we just giving up?” Cassian asked, his voice hoarse, raw with emotion. His mind was a whirl of thoughts, but they all came back to the same horrifying conclusion. They had lost her.

Morrigan and Emerie exchanged a glance, and the silence between them was deafening. They knew what he was asking. They had searched. They had exhausted every option they had. But even they couldn’t bring themselves to say the words that hovered on the edge of their lips: they couldn’t find her.

“I wish I could say something different,” Morrigan said finally, her voice strained. “But we have to face the truth. The longer we wait, the colder it gets out there. And Kaia… she’s so small, so vulnerable. If we don’t find her soon, we might not be able to.”

The words hung in the air like a death sentence. There was no denying the harsh reality.

Rhys turned away, his jaw clenched tightly as he tried to hold himself together. His mind was reeling, his thoughts racing, but they were all rooted in one thing: Kaia was missing. And no matter how much he wished, hoped, or prayed, he couldn’t change it.

Cassian let out a shaky breath, his shoulders sagging as he finally allowed himself to sink into the couch. His body was rigid with tension, but the weight of the situation, the overwhelming guilt and fear, left him too exhausted to even speak.

Kaia was out there in the freezing cold, alone. And no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t bring her back.

The snow outside the window had only grown more violent as the minutes passed. The winds howled like a wild animal, clawing at the cabin, sending gusts of snow swirling in every direction. It battered against the glass, a constant reminder of the storm raging outside. The once soft flakes had turned into sharp, biting gusts that seemed to cut through the air, obscuring any semblance of visibility. The wind's shrill scream echoed through the cabin walls, only adding to the tension that hung heavily in the room.

Inside, the four of them sat in grim silence, the warmth of the fire doing little to ease the chill that had settled in their bones. The storm outside was relentless, and yet, in that moment, it felt like the world was closing in around them.

Cassian rubbed his face, his hand rough against his stubble as he gazed out the window, his eyes dark with worry and frustration. The wind outside howled, a reminder of how helpless they were against the elements. He could hear it tearing through the trees, shaking the branches violently as if it was reaching out to take what they had lost. His heart pounded in his chest, his thoughts racing as the guilt continued to eat away at him.

"This storm isn't letting up," Rhysand muttered, his voice low and thick with a mix of frustration and helplessness. He stood at the window, his eyes scanning the dense snowfall, but there was nothing but a wall of white. "If the snow continues like this, we won't be able to see anything in that forest, and Kaia... she's out there somewhere."

Morrigan, standing beside him, clenched her jaw as she too watched the storm with concern. "We can't wait much longer. We need to get back out there, but the weather's getting worse by the minute. It’s dangerous."

Cassian shot a glance at her, the strain of his emotions written all over his face. "We already know that. But what choice do we have? We can’t just sit here and do nothing." His voice cracked with the weight of it. "She's out there in this hell."

The wind picked up again, howling louder than before, and the snow outside seemed to blur the world beyond. Each gust of wind felt like an attack, stripping away any remaining hope. The trees outside creaked and groaned under the pressure, bending at impossible angles as the storm raged on.

"We need to move now," Rhysand said, his voice resolute despite the growing storm. "We don’t have the luxury of waiting for it to pass. We’re already losing time." He turned to the others, his face hard with determination, even as the worry in his eyes betrayed him. "If we’re going to find her, we need to do it now. The longer we stay here, the less likely we are to make it through this."

The wind howled again, shaking the walls of the cabin, and the sound was almost deafening. The fire crackled in the hearth, but it seemed so small, so insignificant against the fury of the storm outside. The tension in the room was palpable, and the cold from the wind seeped deeper into their bones, no longer just a physical chill, but an emotional one.

Rhys turned to Cassian, his face tight with the weight of the decision. "We’ll need to go out together. We can’t afford to split up. If we’re going to have any chance of finding her, we need to move fast."

Cassian nodded grimly, though his gaze remained locked on the window. "If we don’t find her soon, the snow will cover her tracks. We’ll lose her completely."

Morrigan sighed, her voice barely above a whisper. "And if we can’t find her in this storm, we may never find her again."

As the storm outside continued to howl and rage, the cold was no longer just outside their cabin walls—it was within them too, gnawing at their hearts as they prepared to venture back into the storm.

-----

Azriel sat at the far end of a long, oak table in the camp lord’s private quarters, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the rim of the glass in front of him. The fire crackled softly in the hearth, the flickering light casting shadows that danced across the walls, creating an oddly calming atmosphere for the tense conversation. His sharp eyes, however, never stopped scanning the room, watching for any subtle movements or changes in posture from the camp lord sitting across from him.

The camp lord—a tall, broad-shouldered fae with a reputation for his cunning in negotiations—was leaning back in his chair, a glass of wine in his hand, his expression one of practiced indifference. The man’s dark, storm-grey eyes bore into Azriel as he spoke, though Azriel’s own gaze never wavered, his usual calm demeanour unbroken.

“I trust you understand the importance of this deal, Shadowsinger,” the camp lord said, his voice low but firm. “The terms are clear. We provide the resources, you offer us the protection we need for our interests. You’ll get what you want in return for ensuring my people are safe from those who might disrupt our trade routes.”

Azriel nodded, his expression impassive. “I’m aware of the stakes. But don’t mistake our cooperation for a favor. We expect you to hold up your end of the bargain.” His voice was as steady as ever, yet there was an edge to it—a subtle warning, unspoken but understood.

The camp lord smiled, a sharp, calculating grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course. You’ll find that I honour my word. After all, it is my reputation on the line.”

The two of them sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their respective roles hanging between them. Azriel's shadows flitted restlessly around the room, a reflection of his own unease. He had been sent here to ensure the safety of the agreement, to verify that the camp lord’s offer was genuine, and to keep watch over any potential threats. Yet in this moment, with the fire crackling and the wine dulling his senses, his thoughts kept wandering back to the cabin, to Kaia’s absence, to the tension he had felt when he left.

"I trust you’ve taken care of the logistical matters as we discussed?" Azriel asked, his tone almost casual, though his mind was far from relaxed.

The camp lord set his glass down, eyes narrowing as he folded his arms across his chest. “Everything is in motion. We’ve reinforced the defences around the perimeter and are increasing patrols. You can tell your people that the camp will be secure. My people are loyal.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow, sceptical. “Loyalty can be bought. It’s trust that I need.”

The camp lord smirked, clearly enjoying the conversation. “Trust is earned, Shadowsinger. But you should know, my loyalty is not so easily swayed. We’ve been through worse. This is just another battle.”

Azriel didn’t respond immediately. His fingers brushed the edge of his glass again, the coolness of the crystal a stark contrast to the heat in his chest. He was getting impatient.

“Do you think I care about your battles?” Azriel’s voice dropped, the shadows around him flickering slightly in response to his growing frustration. “I came here to see if your promises are worth anything. Don’t waste my time.”

The camp lord straightened, his smile slipping for just a moment before he regained his composure. “I assure you, the resources we discussed are already being prepared. In exchange, we expect protection, as agreed.”

Azriel’s gaze hardened as he leaned forward slightly, fixing the camp lord with a piercing stare. “Then I’ll expect you to be here when the time comes. If not, I’ll deal with it.”

The camp lord didn’t flinch, maintaining his calm exterior, but Azriel knew the threat had been heard. He wasn’t here for idle talk, and he certainly wasn’t here for more empty promises. He needed results, and he needed them now.

There was a brief silence as the two of them sat in the stillness of the room, the tension thick in the air. Azriel’s thoughts wandered once more to the cabin, to Kaia, to the storm brewing outside. He felt the weight of responsibility pressing down on him, the gnawing worry creeping in.

But he wasn’t going to show it.

Instead, he stood up slowly, his movements deliberate and controlled. “I’ll check in again before I leave. Make sure everything is in order.”

The camp lord nodded, sensing that the conversation was winding down. “Of course. And I trust you’ll take care of any... potential threats while you’re here?”

Azriel’s lips curled into a thin, dangerous smile as his shadows swirled in the corner of the room. “That’s what I’m paid for.”

With one last glance at the camp lord, Azriel turned and walked toward the door, the weight of his responsibilities pulling him back to the cabin. There was no time to waste. His family was waiting.

-----

Kaia was sitting in the corner of a small, dimly lit house wagon, her tiny hands bound tightly to the wooden post. The cold, damp air pressed in through the cracks in the walls, and the musty smell of the wagon’s interior made her wrinkly nose twitch. Her little chest heaved with sobs as tears streaked down her pale cheeks, her little body trembling from the fear of her unknown surroundings.

The cloaked figure was standing near the doorway, their back turned to her as they muttered something under their breath. The harsh, scratchy fabric of the cloak swished as they moved, but Kaia wasn’t paying attention to that. Her small, frantic breaths were all she could focus on, each sob wracking her fragile frame as she strained against the ropes that bound her.

"Shut up!" the cloaked figure suddenly screamed, turning toward her with eyes that burned with anger, their voice hoarse and threatening. Kaia flinched at the sharp tone, and her body instinctively shrank back, her little hands pulling uselessly at the ropes. Her sobs grew louder, her small voice rising in desperation.

"Pwease..." she whimpered in her baby speech, her voice thin and full of fear. "Want Mama... want Dada..."

The figure took a step toward her, their presence looming over her small, curled form, but Kaia barely registered it. All she could think about was her mama and dada. The faces she missed so much, the warmth of their love and safety. She wanted nothing more than to be held by them again.

"Shh," the figure hissed, reaching out and grabbing her chin roughly, forcing her to meet their cold, impassive gaze. "You’ll be quiet, or else."

Kaia recoiled, tears filling her big, frightened eyes, and she began to cry harder, her wails echoing in the small wagon as she called out for the only two people she knew could make everything better.

"Dada!" she cried, her voice breaking. "Mama, pwease... Dada!"

She squirmed against the ropes, trying to pull herself free, but they held her too tightly. The world seemed to close in on her as the sound of her own voice echoed through the small wagon, a cacophony of fear and confusion.

Her cries filled the air, the desperation in her tone clear as day, but the cloaked figure just stood there, their face impassive, their expression unreadable. Kaia didn’t understand what was happening—didn’t understand why she was tied up, why she couldn’t feel the warmth of her mama’s arms or the comforting presence of her dada.

“Shut up,” the figure muttered again, their voice a low growl as they stepped back.

But Kaia couldn't stop. She couldn’t stop wanting to be with the people who loved her, the ones who made everything better. She cried louder, her sobs wracking her small body, her heart aching in her chest.

"Dada! Mama!" She said through hiccupped sobs, barely able to form the words as they slipped from her lips in her frantic baby speech.

All she wanted was her parents to come and take her away from this horrible place, away from this cold, unkind person who was hurting her. But there was nothing she could do. All she could do was cry, her tiny voice breaking with each word as she called for her mama and dada over and over again.

The cloaked figure moved toward Kaia with an unsettling quietness, the air around her growing colder as they approached. She instinctively recoiled, her small wings fluttering desperately in an attempt to escape their grasp. But the figure was too quick. They reached down, their hands cold and unyielding as they grabbed a firm hold of her wings—those precious, delicate appendages that had caused her so much pain already.

Kaia’s breath hitched, a sharp, painful cry escaping her lips as the figure yanked her upward, the sharp tug pulling at the sensitive skin of her wings. Tears immediately filled her wide eyes as she whimpered in pain, her wings folding tightly against her small body in a desperate attempt to protect herself.

“Shh, quiet now,” the cloaked figure murmured, but their voice had no kindness, no comfort. It only made Kaia’s heart race harder, her tiny body trembling in fear. She wanted to cry out, but the pain in her wings made it hard to form the words, and all she could do was whimper.

“Pwease, pwease,” she begged in her baby speech, her voice breaking with each word. “W-wings hurt... mama... dada... pwease!” Her hands balled into tiny fists, but they were too small to fight back. She was too small, too fragile.

But the figure wasn’t listening. They only dragged her through the cramped space, a cruel determination in their movements. With a swift motion, they shoved Kaia into a small, tight cage tucked beneath a desk—a cage so small that Kaia had to curl up tightly just to fit inside. The metal bars pressed against her tiny body, cold and unwelcoming, and the darkness of the cage enveloped her like a heavy blanket. She whimpered as she squirmed, trying to find comfort, but the tight space only made her feel more trapped.

Her breath quickened as she pressed her face against the cold bars, her little wings fluttering helplessly behind her. She wanted to get out, wanted to run to her mama, her dada—but the bars held her prisoner.

“Wanna go home…” she whimpered, her voice small and shaky, the toddler speech slipping from her lips as she curled up in the cramped cage. “Mama… Dada… pwease, pwease come… find me…” Her voice cracked with each sob, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

Kaia’s tiny hands reached through the bars, but there was nothing to hold onto. There was no comfort, no safety. The cold of the cage seeped into her bones, making her feel even smaller, even more alone. She tugged at the bars, her little body growing more frantic, but there was nothing she could do. The figure stood over her, watching as she cried, and Kaia’s heart broke with each tear that fell from her eyes.

“Dada, pwease…” she whispered, the words so quiet they barely left her lips. “Pwease…” She wanted nothing more than to be back in her mama's arms, to feel the warmth of her father's presence again. But all she could do was cry and hope, hope that somehow, someone would come and take her away from this horrible place.

-----

The wind howled through the trees as Rhys, Cassian, Morrigan, and Emery trudged back into the cabin, their faces pale with exhaustion and worry. Their clothes were soaked from the snow, their boots heavy with layers of ice, but it was the sinking feeling in their hearts that weighed them down the most.

They had spent the past five hours scouring the woods, calling Kaia’s name, listening to the howling wind for any sign of her, but it was as if she had vanished into thin air. Despite their best efforts, they had found nothing—no trace, no footprints, nothing. The hours had slipped by unnoticed as the blizzard intensified, the temperature plummeting further with each passing minute.

Rhys, his jaw clenched tight, had been the first to speak when they had been forced to call off the search, his voice hoarse from the cold. "We can’t keep going. The temperatures are dropping too fast, and the snow’s only getting worse. Kaia’s small… She wouldn’t survive out there in this storm."

Cassian had been the one to argue first, his eyes wild with panic. “We can’t just stop looking! She’s out there—she has to be! She can’t be gone, Rhys!”

Morrigan had put a hand on Cassian’s shoulder, her usual strength faltering. “We know, Cass. But it’s not safe out there. The snow’s too thick, and the wind’s turning into a full blizzard. We need to get back inside, or we’ll all be caught in it.”

Emery, normally calm and collected, had remained silent, her face hard as stone, the worry in her eyes betraying her outward composure. She had done everything she could, but even she had been forced to admit defeat when the weather had become too violent.

“Let's go back,” Morrigan had finally said, her voice soft, but firm. “We’ll regroup, and maybe we’ll have better luck when the weather clears.”

Now, back in the cabin, their clothes dripping with snowmelt, the weight of their failure hung heavy in the air. The fire was burning low in the hearth, its warm glow offering only a faint comfort against the cold that had crept into their bones.

Rhys walked over to the window, staring out at the swirling white chaos outside. The storm was relentless, the blizzard more violent now than it had been when they first set out. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking of Kaia, so small and vulnerable out there, and the guilt that gnawed at his insides threatened to tear him apart.

“They’re staying at the camp overnight,” Morrigan said quietly, as if reading his thoughts. “The boys. We couldn’t risk bringing them back in these conditions.”

Cassian, who had been pacing restlessly in the centre of the room, paused at her words. “I hate this. I hate not being able to protect them. All of them.”

“None of us could have predicted this,” Emery said softly, her tone gentle as she put a hand on his arm. “You did everything you could.”

But Cassian just shook his head, his eyes distant. “It doesn’t feel like enough.”

The cabin felt colder somehow, the weight of their silence filling the room as they all struggled with the same harsh truth—they hadn’t found Kaia. And with the storm raging outside, the odds of finding her now were slim to none.

As Rhys continued to stare out at the snow, his thoughts turned to you. He knew how much you had trusted him with Kaia’s safety, and now, in this moment, he felt like he had failed you too. The thought of returning to you empty-handed, with nothing but bad news, weighed heavily on his heart.

Morrigan, noticing the shift in the atmosphere, spoke up again. “We’ll go out again once the storm passes. We won’t stop looking until we bring her back.”

Rhys nodded, though the hopelessness in his eyes was hard to hide. “We better.”

Rhys stood at the window, his back turned to the others as he watched the snow and wind whip violently outside, the blizzard’s fury matching the storm raging inside him. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from retreating to the window, away from the others, the weight of the moment bearing down on him with unbearable force. The silence of the room was deafening as the fire crackled softly in the corner, but all he could hear was the thudding of his own heart in his ears.

He had failed.

Kaia was out there, alone and scared, and he couldn’t protect her. His own flesh and blood, his niece, and he hadn’t been able to keep her safe. The guilt clawed at him, like an animal tearing at his insides, eating him alive from the inside out. His hand gripped the edge of the window frame so tightly that his knuckles turned white, but it didn’t stop the shaking.

A choked breath escaped him before he could stop it.

He failed Azriel, failed you. He had sworn to protect you both, to keep you and your family safe, and now his niece was out there in the blizzard, helpless. He had failed her too. He promised your dad he'd keep you safe and he promised his mom he'd take care of everything you cherish.

And then the dam inside him broke.

“Damn it,” Rhys muttered under his breath, his voice shaking with emotion. He turned away from the window, his expression raw, vulnerable in a way it hadn’t been in years. His shoulders were slumped, as if the weight of his failure was too much for him to carry. He dragged a hand over his face, his fingers trembling, trying to push down the overwhelming guilt.

“Rhys…” Cassian’s voice was cautious, but Rhys was too far gone now. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. His walls—his usual strength—had cracked, and the torrent of emotion came rushing out all at once.

“I’ve failed,” he whispered harshly, almost to himself, as his voice broke. He could feel the sting of tears threatening, but he refused to let them fall. He was supposed to be the strong one, the one who held everything together, but it felt like the very foundation of his soul was crumbling.

Cassian stepped forward, his hand reaching out, but Rhys pulled away before he could touch him. “I’m supposed to protect them,” Rhys continued, his voice thick with emotion. “Kaia, Azriel, you, Feyre... all of you. And now... now I’ve failed. I couldn’t keep her safe, Cassian. I couldn’t keep her out of danger. I promised Azriel I’d look after her and... and now...”

His voice faltered as he trailed off, swallowing hard, as if trying to hold back the full weight of the realization. The guilt gnawed at him, a gnawing, relentless force that wouldn’t let go. He felt as if his entire world was falling apart, and the pieces were slipping through his fingers no matter how tightly he tried to hold on.

“I promised Azriel... I promised YN I’d protect them. And now, what? She’s out there in the cold... alone. I can’t... I can’t be the one who failed her.” Rhys’ chest hitched with emotion as the words spilled out, and for the first time in a long time, he didn’t try to keep it together. He didn’t care about being the High Lord in that moment. He was just a broken man who couldn’t save the ones he loved.

Cassian stood there, unsure of what to say, his heart aching for his brother. Morrigan and Emery both watched, their expressions filled with sympathy, but they knew better than to say anything. Sometimes, there were no words. Sometimes, a person just needed to break.

Rhys shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. “How can I face YN? How can I tell her I failed her daughter... that I couldn’t protect her? YN named her after our sister and I've already lost her, I can't lose another.”

There was a pause. Then Cassian, with a quiet understanding, stepped forward, his hand landing on Rhys’ shoulder, a silent show of support. "You haven’t failed her yet. We’re still looking, Rhys. We won’t stop until she’s back in your arms."

But Rhys could only shake his head, his eyes hollow. “It’s not enough, Cassian. It’ll never be enough. I let this happen.”

The guilt suffocated him, the cold weight of it pressing on his chest until it became almost too much to bear. For once, Rhys didn’t know what to do. He had always been the one with the answers, the one who could pull everyone together in times of crisis. But now, there was nothing left inside him but the crushing realization that the one thing he had been so sure of—his ability to protect the ones he loved—had failed.

“I failed them,” Rhys whispered again, his voice barely audible. And for the first time in a long time, Rhys felt utterly, completely lost.

The sound of Azriel's wings echoed through the cabin as he entered, brushing snow off his shoulders and shaking out the cold. His hair was damp, his face red from the icy wind that had been biting at him during the flight. He stomped his boots on the mat near the door, grumbling.

“I couldn’t even fly properly in that weather,” he muttered, his voice tinged with irritation. “I nearly froze my damn ass off trying to get back here. Who in their right mind would want to live in a place like that—”

Azriel trailed off mid-sentence, his sharp eyes immediately picking up on the unusual tension in the room. Morrigan and Emerie were there, sitting stiffly on the couch, their faces solemn. Cassian was slumped in a chair, his elbows on his knees, looking wrecked in a way Azriel hadn’t seen in decades. Rhysand leaned against the wall, his arms crossed tightly, his face pale and drawn as though he’d aged years in the span of a single day.

Azriel frowned, his hazel eyes darting between them all. “What’s going on? Why are Morrigan and Emerie here?”

No one answered right away. Morrigan glanced at Rhysand, who didn’t lift his head, and then at Cassian, whose jaw tightened as he avoided Azriel’s gaze. The silence in the room was deafening, oppressive, and a knot of unease started forming in Azriel’s chest.

“What happened?” Azriel demanded, his tone sharper now, a hint of panic creeping into his voice.

Morrigan stood, her eyes glassy, and she whispered, “Azriel, I’m so sorry.”

Those words hit him like a physical blow. His breath caught in his throat, and he froze, the blood draining from his face.

“What do you mean?” His voice cracked, trembling as he stepped forward, his gaze darting between all of them. “What are you sorry for?”

When no one responded, Azriel’s shadows began swirling around him anxiously, mirroring the rising panic in his chest. His mind raced, and he tried to piece together what could possibly have gone so wrong. And then the realization struck him like a thunderclap.

“Kaia.”

The name barely left his lips before his legs gave out beneath him. Azriel collapsed to his knees, his wings sagging, his body trembling violently. Cassian and Rhysand were at his side in an instant, steadying him before he could crumple further.

“No... no, no, no,” Azriel choked out, his voice breaking as he tried to push himself up, only to falter. His hands clawed at the floor as his chest heaved, his breaths coming fast and shallow.

Cassian tightened his grip on Azriel’s shoulder, his voice thick with emotion as he said, “Az, we’re going to find her. We’ll get her back. She's out somewhere in the forest...”

But Azriel couldn’t seem to hear him. His hands were shaking, his usually composed demeanour completely shattered as the words tumbled out of him in a desperate, frantic stream.

“She was here—she was safe—I left her safe! How could this happen?” His voice cracked with anguish, his entire body trembling as if the weight of the moment was too much to bear.

“Azriel,” Morrigan whispered, crouching down in front of him, her hands trembling as she reached out to touch his arm. “We’re doing everything we can.”

Azriel shook his head, his throat working furiously as he tried to suppress the sob that threatened to escape. His shadows swirled more violently now, reflecting the storm raging inside him.

“She’s just a baby,” he whispered hoarsely, his voice so broken it barely resembled his own. “She’s so small... so helpless. She must be so scared.”

His head dropped, his forehead pressing against the floor as he gasped for breath, his shoulders shaking. Rhysand knelt beside him, his own expression filled with guilt and sorrow as he placed a hand on Azriel’s back.

“We’ll find her,” Rhysand said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I swear to you, Azriel, we’ll find her.”

But Azriel didn’t respond. All he could see was Kaia’s tiny face, her bright, curious eyes, and the way she always reached for him when she was scared. The thought of her out there, alone and terrified, was more than he could bear.

For the first time in centuries, Azriel felt completely and utterly powerless.

Azriel remained on the floor for a long moment, his breathing ragged and uneven as he tried to process what had happened. He clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles turned white, his body trembling with the sheer force of his anguish.

Cassian, still crouched beside him, kept a hand on his shoulder, his own expression tight with guilt and pain. “Az, listen to me. We’ve been out there searching nonstop. Morrigan and Emerie combed every inch of the surrounding area. We’ll go back out as soon as the blizzard lets up.”

Azriel’s head shot up, his hazel eyes blazing with desperation. “She’s out there right now!” he snapped, his voice rising. “She’s out there, scared and cold, and we’re in here— waiting!”

“Azriel,” Rhysand said firmly, though his voice trembled ever so slightly. “If we go back out now, we risk losing more than just her. We won’t be any good to her if we can’t see, can’t move through the snow.”

Azriel surged to his feet, his wings flaring despite the confines of the room. “Then I’ll go alone.”

“No, you won’t,” Morrigan said sharply, stepping into his path. “You’re not thinking clearly, Az. You’ll freeze out there, and Kaia—she needs her father alive to save her.”

Those words stopped him, if only for a moment. Azriel stared at Morrigan, his chest heaving as he fought to regain control of himself. His shadows writhed around him, a chaotic swirl of despair and anger, as if they too were mourning Kaia’s absence.

Rhysand rose to his feet, standing tall as he addressed Azriel, his voice softer now. “We’ll leave at first light. The storm will break by then, and we’ll be able to cover more ground. I swear to you, Az, we won’t stop until we find her.”

Azriel’s shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of him as the weight of the situation pressed down on him. He staggered back a step, leaning heavily against the wall, his hands gripping the edge of a nearby table for support.

“She’s just a baby,” he whispered again, his voice breaking. “She shouldn’t have to go through this. Fuck.”

Cassian exchanged a look with Rhysand, both of them understanding the depth of Azriel’s pain. Rhysand placed a hand on Azriel’s arm, squeezing it reassuringly.

“We’ll get her back,” he said firmly. “We’ll get her back, Azriel.”

Azriel nodded weakly, though his expression was far from convinced. He dropped his head into his hands, his body trembling as he tried to keep himself together.

Azriel’s breathing came in sharp, erratic gasps, his chest rising and falling so quickly it seemed he might lose consciousness. His trembling hands gripped the edge of the table so tightly that it splintered beneath his grasp, cracks spidering through the wood. His wings, normally so steady, trembled and hung low, dragging slightly on the floor as though they too were weighed down by his anguish.

“Az, breathe,” Cassian urged, stepping closer, his voice steady but laced with concern. “You need to slow down, brother. You’re going to make yourself pass out.”

But Azriel didn’t seem to hear him. His eyes, wide and unfocused, darted around the room, as though searching for an answer no one could provide. His shadows writhed frantically around him, almost out of control, their dark tendrils stretching toward every corner of the room as if trying to escape the suffocating despair emanating from their master.

“Azriel,” Morrigan said softly, stepping closer but careful not to touch him. “Look at me. Focus on my voice.”

It was as though her words didn’t even register. Azriel’s knees buckled slightly, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the table harder, fighting to stay upright. His breathing turned to wheezing, the sound of it raw and strained.

Rhysand and Cassian exchanged a worried glance, their minds flashing back to the last time they had seen him like this—when you were in labor with Kaia. It had been a terrifying and harrowing ordeal, your body too fragile to endure the complications that had arisen. The healers had worked tirelessly, and yet there had been a moment when Rhysand had feared they would lose you both.

Azriel had been nearly inconsolable then, pacing the hall outside the birthing room like a caged beast, his shadows snapping at anyone who dared approach. When they had carried you out, pale and unconscious, with Kaia far too small in the healer’s arms, Azriel had fallen to his knees, utterly wrecked.

Now, he was back in that place. Lost. Broken.

“Azriel,” Rhysand said firmly, moving closer despite the swirl of shadows surrounding him. “Breathe. Kaia needs you. We all need you. You can’t help her like this.”

Azriel’s head snapped up, his hazel eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I failed her,” he choked out, his voice raw and trembling. “I failed her—just like I almost failed Y/N. I—”

“You didn’t fail anyone,” Cassian interrupted, his voice stern but filled with empathy. “This isn’t your fault, Az. None of this is.”

But Azriel’s shoulders shook as he tried and failed to draw in a deep breath, his body threatening to collapse under the weight of his emotions. It was Rhysand who stepped forward, grabbing his arms and holding him steady.

“Enough,” Rhysand said, his voice cutting through the storm of Azriel’s despair. “You are not alone in this, Azriel. You have us. We will find her. We will bring her back. But you need to pull yourself together right now because Kaia needs her father. She needs you strong.”

Azriel stared at him, his breathing still ragged, but Rhysand’s words seemed to pierce through the haze of panic. Slowly, shakily, Azriel nodded, though his hands still trembled, and his wings quivered with the effort of holding himself upright.

“She’s just a baby,” Azriel whispered, his voice cracking with anguish. “She’s all alone.”

“And we will get her back,” Rhysand repeated, his grip firm. “You will hold her in your arms again. I swear it.”

Azriel closed his eyes, forcing himself to take deep, uneven breaths. The room was heavy with tension, but no one spoke, giving him the space he needed to steady himself.

It took several long moments, but eventually, Azriel straightened, his trembling subsiding slightly, though the anguish in his eyes remained. He looked at Cassian and Morrigan, then at Rhysand, his jaw tight with determination.

“First light,” Azriel said, his voice quiet but resolute. “We leave at first light.”

Rhysand and Cassian each took one of Azriel’s arms, steadying him as he tried to rise from the floor. His legs felt like lead, and his body trembled as though it might give out again, but their grip kept him upright. Azriel’s shadows were still frantically swirling around him, darting into every corner of the room, as if desperate to find Kaia themselves.

As soon as Azriel was on his feet, he turned toward Rhysand, his face tight with a mixture of anguish and barely-contained anger. “How did this happen?” he asked, his voice low and trembling. “How did she even—how did you lose her?”

Rhysand flinched as if the words physically struck him, his violet eyes closing briefly. He let out a deep breath, his face crumpling with guilt. “It’s my fault,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret.

Azriel’s gaze sharpened, his hazel eyes narrowing as the weight of Rhysand’s words sank in. “What do you mean, your fault?” he demanded, his tone rising. “She’s a toddler, Rhys. My daughter. She can barely fucking run without landing flat on her ass. How could you—”

“We turned away for a moment,” Rhysand interrupted, his voice strained. “We were talking to a messenger from the camp. The weather was turning, and I thought—” He stopped, raking a hand through his hair as he struggled to find the words. “I told her not to go far, but she slipped away. I didn’t see her. I didn’t—”

Azriel stepped closer, his wings flaring slightly, though not in aggression—only pain. “You didn’t see her?” he repeated, his voice breaking. “You were supposed to be watching her, Rhys. You promised you’d keep her safe.”

Rhysand’s shoulders sagged under the weight of Azriel’s accusations. “I know,” he said quietly. “And I failed. I failed you. I failed her. I—” His voice cracked, and he turned away, his hand gripping the back of a chair as if to steady himself. “I’ve never felt more ashamed in my life.”

Azriel stared at him for a long moment, his chest heaving as he fought to keep his composure. Cassian stepped between them, his hands raised in a calming gesture. “Az,” he said carefully, his voice low and soothing. “Rhys is tearing himself apart over this. We all are. But fighting each other right now isn’t going to bring Kaia back.”

Azriel’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, his shadows lashing wildly around the room. But after a moment, he exhaled sharply, some of the fire in his eyes dimming as Cassian’s words registered. He turned back to Rhysand, his jaw tight.

“You should have been more careful,” he said, his voice trembling with emotion. “But I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. I know you love her, too.”

Rhysand looked up, his eyes glistening. “More than anything,” he whispered. “Azriel, I swear on everything I have, I will not rest until she’s back in your arms.”

Azriel nodded stiffly, though his shoulders remained tense. “We leave at dawn,” he said, his voice low and determined. “Every moment we waste, she gets further away. I don’t care about the weather. I don’t care about the risk. We find her.”

“And we will,” Cassian said firmly, clapping a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. “We’re not stopping until we do.”

Azriel took a shuddering breath, his voice quieter now but no less resolute. “Someone has to go to the Day Court tomorrow. Y/N needs to know.”

The room fell silent, the weight of his words settling over them like a thick fog. Azriel’s shadows swirled tighter, curling around his shoulders as though trying to shield him from the unbearable thought of you finding out this way.

Cassian straightened from where he leaned against the table, his expression grim but determined. “I’ll go,” he said without hesitation. “You shouldn’t have to leave Kaia’s search, and... I’ll explain everything to her.”

Azriel nodded slowly, though his jaw clenched, his hands fisting at his sides. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ll tell her everything,” Cassian promised. “But Az... you know what this is going to do to her. To both of you.”

Azriel’s eyes closed briefly, and when they reopened, they were blazing with a mixture of fear and determination. “I know,” he said. “But she deserves to know. If it were me in her place—” His voice broke, and he turned away, his wings drooping as though the weight of his emotions was too much to bear.

Cassian looked over at Rhysand, who gave a faint nod, though his expression was carved from stone. “Be careful with how you tell her,” Rhys said, his voice low and heavy. “This will break her, but she has to know we’re doing everything we can.”

Cassian’s jaw tightened, and he let out a slow breath. “I’ll leave at first light,” he said. “She’ll want to come back with me, though.”

Azriel’s head snapped up at that, his hazel eyes wide and pleading. “Cass, please. Don’t bring her back here yet. Not until we’ve found her. She’s been through too much already... if she comes back and Kaia’s still missing—”

“I know,” Cassian interrupted, his tone soft but firm. “I’ll do my best to keep her there. But you know Y/N. If she wants to come, nothing I say will stop her.”

Azriel dropped his head into his hands, his fingers gripping his hair as though trying to keep himself together. “Just try,” he murmured. “For her sake.”

“I will,” Cassian promised.

The three of them exchanged heavy looks, the silence between them filled with unspoken fears. They would face whatever came next together—no matter how painful.

-----

The golden hues of dawn painted the sky in strokes of orange and pink, spilling soft light over the Day Court balcony. You stretched as you stepped out, clutching a warm mug of tea in your hands. Nesta was already seated in a plush chair, her book open on her lap, her eyes scanning the pages with quiet focus. Feyre sat nearby, her sketchpad balanced against her knees, her pencil moving rhythmically across the paper.

The air was cool and fresh, carrying the faint scent of citrus and blooming flowers. You settled into a chair beside Nesta, exhaling a soft sigh as you cracked open your own book. “It’s so peaceful here,” you murmured, taking a sip of tea.

Nesta hummed in agreement, not looking up from her book. “I could get used to this,” she said, her tone softer than usual.

Feyre glanced up from her sketchpad, a faint smile on her face. “I think we all could,” she said. “The colours here are so vivid. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of sketching them.”

You glanced at her sketch, admiring the delicate lines she was using to capture the sunrise. “That’s beautiful,” you said. “You’ve really captured the light.”

Feyre blushed lightly but kept working, her pencil shading the edges of a cloud. “It’s easy when the view is this stunning.”

Nesta turned a page in her book, her brow furrowing slightly as she got engrossed in her reading. You noticed the title and arched a brow. “More smut, Nesta?” you teased lightly, earning a sharp glance from her.

“It’s not smut,” she shot back, though the corner of her mouth twitched. “It’s well-written romance. There’s a difference.”

Feyre snorted, her pencil stilling for a moment. “Is there, though?”

Nesta ignored her and went back to reading, though you caught the faintest hint of a smile.

The three of you fell into a comfortable silence, the only sounds being the rustle of pages, the scratch of Feyre’s pencil, and the occasional bird song in the distance. It was a rare moment of tranquility, a sliver of time where the world felt calm and safe.

You glanced at the horizon, watching as the sun climbed higher, bathing the balcony in warmth. “I wish mornings could always be like this,” you said softly.

Nesta nodded absently, her eyes still glued to her book. Feyre gave a small smile but didn’t look up, her focus entirely on her sketch.

You turned a page in your book, glancing at Nesta and Feyre as the sunlight bathed the balcony in a warm glow. A thought crossed your mind, and you couldn't help but smirk as you broke the peaceful silence.

“Do you two ever just...tug on your bond with your husbands when they’re away? You know, for fun?”

Nesta’s book lowered slightly, her eyes narrowing at you, though there was a flicker of amusement behind them. Feyre paused mid-shade, her pencil hovering over the sketchpad as a sly smile crept onto her face.

“I do,” Feyre admitted, her tone casual. “Sometimes it’s just to check on him. Other times…” She trailed off, her cheeks tinting pink.

Nesta raised an eyebrow but didn’t deny it. “Occasionally,” she said, flipping a page as if the conversation was nothing out of the ordinary. “It’s not like I need to, but if I want to make sure Cassian isn’t being a complete idiot, I might give it a tug.”

You chuckled at her response. “So you’re using it as a leash?”

“More like a tether,” Nesta said dryly, though a small smirk tugged at her lips.

Feyre laughed softly before turning her curious gaze to you. “What about you? Do you and Azriel tug on your bond?”

Your smile faded slightly, and you shook your head. “No, we don’t. We keep it closed most of the time.”

That seemed to catch both of their attention. Nesta set her book down, and Feyre rested her pencil on the edge of the sketchpad, their gazes now focused entirely on you.

“Why?” Feyre asked, her voice soft with curiosity.

You sighed, leaning back in your chair and staring out at the horizon. “Azriel’s work… it’s dangerous. It’s complicated. He doesn’t want his emotions to bleed through the bond when he’s out doing what he does. And I… I don’t want to distract him. The last thing he needs is to feel my panic if something goes wrong.”

Nesta tilted her head, her expression thoughtful. “But doesn’t that make it harder? Keeping it closed?”

“It does sometimes,” you admitted, tracing a finger along the edge of your book. “But we’ve always been like that. He’s so private, so controlled. Keeping the bond closed is his way of protecting me, even if I don’t always agree with it.”

Feyre frowned slightly. “Does he ever let it open? Even for a moment?”

“Rarely,” you said, a small smile creeping onto your lips. “But when he does… it’s like the world shifts. Everything feels lighter, stronger. I know how deeply he cares, even if he doesn’t say it outright.”

Nesta hummed, picking up her book again. “Sounds like Azriel.”

Feyre nodded, her expression softening. “He loves you, though. That much is obvious.”

You smiled, warmth blooming in your chest. “I know. And I love him, too. Even if he keeps his walls up, I’ve always found a way through them.”

"Good morning, my darlings," he greeted, his rich, melodic voice carrying a teasing lilt. His sun-kissed skin practically gleamed under the warm light, his golden robes flowing elegantly as he approached.

On the tray were platters of fresh fruit, honey-drenched pastries, thick slices of golden bread, and a teapot that steamed with a fragrant brew. "I thought I’d join my favourite troublemakers for breakfast. You looked like you needed something to recover from last night."

Nesta quirked an eyebrow, lowering her book slightly. “You mean, you’re here to eavesdrop on our morning conversation.”

Helion placed the tray on the small table in front of you, flashing her a dazzling smile. “Can’t I do both? I’m a master of multitasking.”

Feyre let out a soft laugh, setting her sketchpad aside. “You were just jealous we didn’t invite you to drink with us last night, weren’t you?”

Helion placed a hand over his chest as if wounded. “My dearest Feyre, I would have elevated the night to new heights. But alas, you kept me away.” He winked at you. “Likely to protect your darkest secrets from slipping out under the influence.”

You rolled your eyes but smirked. “As if you don’t already know half of them, Helion.”

He grinned, his golden eyes glinting with mischief. “And that is precisely why I make such excellent company. Who else would be able to handle the three of you at once?”

Nesta snorted. “I doubt you could keep up with us.”

Helion sat down gracefully on one of the chairs, leaning back as though he owned the place. He gestured toward the food. “Eat, eat! I insist. I’d hate for my efforts to go unappreciated.”

As you reached for a flaky pastry, you raised an eyebrow at him. “You didn’t make this, Helion.”

“Semantics, my dear,” he replied smoothly. “It arrived because of me. That’s what counts.”

Feyre poured herself a cup of tea, smiling softly. “Thank you, Helion. Truly.”

He waved a hand, his tone suddenly gentler. “You’re my guests. My family. It’s the least I can do.”

The four of you ate in comfortable silence for a few moments, the gentle breeze ruffling the pages of your book and Feyre’s sketchpad. Then, Helion broke the quiet with a dramatic sigh.

“So,” he said, leaning forward with a sly grin, “what scandalous gossip are we indulging in this morning? I do hope it involves someone’s husband.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d hope for that.”

Feyre smirked, shooting you a glance. “Actually, we were just discussing bonds and whether or not we tug on them when the guys are away.”

Helion’s eyes gleamed with interest as he turned to you. “And what did you say, my lovely enigma?”

You gave him a dry look. “I said Azriel and I keep our bond closed most of the time.”

Helion leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Of course. The shadowsinger. Always so mysterious. Though I must admit, I didn’t expect him to lock himself away even from you.”

“It’s complicated,” you replied, sipping your tea.

Helion tilted his head, studying you. “Is it? Or does he simply underestimate how much strength you already have?”

Nesta raised an eyebrow at that, and Feyre tilted her head in agreement, but you didn’t reply, instead focusing on the beautiful view of the Day Court stretching out before you.

Helion smiled knowingly. “Ah, silence. The loudest answer of all.” He reached for a piece of fruit, his golden eyes flicking between the three of you. “Well, I, for one, am honoured to bask in your company this morning. Even if I have to endure the heavy presence of shadows in the conversation.”

Feyre chuckled. “You’re insufferable, Helion.”

“And you wouldn’t have it any other way,” he replied with a wink.

The peaceful hum of your morning on the Day Court balcony was abruptly interrupted by the heavy thud of wings beating against the warm air. All of you looked up in surprise as Cassian landed on the edge of the balcony, his armour glinting faintly in the sunlight. His hair was windswept, his face drawn with tension, and his usual boisterous grin was absent.

“Cassian?” Nesta said, rising to her feet as he stepped forward.

Without a word, he cupped her face, pulling her in for a quick, fierce kiss. Nesta stiffened in shock before relaxing slightly, her hand brushing his chest in confusion.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, pulling back to search his face.

Cassian didn’t answer immediately, his hazel eyes darting to you. His expression softened with something you couldn’t quite place—remorse, fear, maybe both. He turned to you, taking a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low and unsteady.

You frowned, setting your book down. “Sorry for what?”

Feyre, seated beside you, blinked in confusion. “Cassian, what’s going on?”

Helion leaned back in his chair, his golden gaze narrowing as he studied the Illyrian general. “This feels suspiciously like the beginning of bad news,” he drawled, though his tone lacked its usual levity.

Cassian ignored him, his eyes locking with yours. “I—I don’t know how to tell you this,” he said, his voice breaking slightly.

Your stomach twisted uneasily. “Cassian, just say it. What’s wrong?”

Nesta’s hand tightened on his arm. “Cassian, you’re scaring us.”

He ran a hand through his windswept hair, his wings twitching behind him. “There’s been... an incident. Kaia—”

Your breath hitched, your heart slamming against your ribs. “What about Kaia? Where is she?”

Cassian’s face crumpled slightly as he struggled to find the words. “She’s... she’s missing.”

The world seemed to tilt beneath you, the weight of his words crashing into you like a tidal wave. Feyre gasped beside you, her hand flying to her mouth, while Nesta froze, her eyes wide with shock.

“What do you mean she’s missing?” you demanded, your voice sharp and trembling.

Cassian reached out, his hands shaking as he gestured toward you. “Rhys, Azriel, and I—we’ve been looking for hours. She wandered off during a trip outside, and we couldn’t—” His voice cracked. “I’m so sorry. We’re doing everything we can to find her.”

You stood abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor as your mind raced. “She’s out there in mountain weather?” Your voice rose, panic thickening every syllable.

Feyre grabbed your arm, trying to steady you as Nesta stepped closer to Cassian, her face pale with fury. “How could this happen?” she hissed.

Cassian didn’t flinch under her anger, his guilt evident in every line of his face. “We didn’t mean for it to. One second she was there, and the next—”

You didn’t wait to hear more. Your bond with Azriel, always kept tightly shut, pulsed faintly at the edges of your mind, and you reached for it instinctively, your panic bleeding into the connection.

Helion stood as well, his usual calm demeanour replaced by a grave expression. “We’ll find her,” he said firmly, though his words did little to calm the storm brewing inside you.

“She’s out there,” you whispered, your voice breaking as tears blurred your vision. “My baby is out there.”

The world spun around you, and a sharp, nauseating wave of panic swept over you like a tidal wave. Your breath caught in your chest, and your stomach churned violently. The last few minutes felt like they were moving in slow motion—Cassian’s words, the overwhelming realization of what had happened, the shock that froze you in place.

“I—I’m going to throw up,” you muttered, barely able to form the words, your hand clutching at your stomach. The feeling was suffocating, and before anyone could react, your body lurched forward.

You barely had time to brace yourself as your stomach emptied, the contents spilling out onto the floor in front of you. The gagging sound seemed to echo in the room, your vision blurred with tears of frustration, fear, and helplessness.

Nesta cursed under her breath, rushing to your side. “Y/N, breathe,” she urged, kneeling beside you. She gently rubbed your back as Feyre stood frozen, her own face pale, her hands clenched at her sides.

You gasped for air, still fighting the urge to be sick, but the panic was unbearable. “Kaia,” you whispered, your voice broken and weak. “She’s out there. She’s all alone.”

Cassian’s face was stricken with guilt, his hand reaching out but stopping short. He didn’t know how to fix this. None of them did.

“Y/N, you have to stay calm,” Nesta said, her tone firm but caring. She didn’t pull away as she continued to soothe you, though you could hear the tightness in her voice, the same fear you felt.

But it was too much. The weight of it all—the danger Kaia was in, the impossibility of the situation, the sheer overwhelming terror of losing her—was crushing you from every side. You could feel it suffocating you.

“I can’t… I can’t lose her,” you choked out between ragged breaths. “I can’t.”

Your body trembled, still caught in the aftermath of the sickness, but your mind was clearer now, focused entirely on one thing: getting to Kaia.

“Cassian…” Your voice was low, almost desperate as you looked up at him, your hands reaching out toward him. “Please. I need to go to her. Bring me to her.”

Cassian hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering to the others in the room, but he remained firm in his response. “Azriel said you need to stay here, Y/N. You’re in no condition to travel. You’re still… you’re still not yourself.” His voice was gentle, but the firmness in it was unyielding.

You clenched your fists, frustration and worry bubbling to the surface. “I don’t care what Azriel said. I need to go, Cassian. She’s my daughter, and I—” You cut yourself off, choking on your words, your breath ragged as the weight of helplessness settled on you once again.

Cassian’s jaw tightened, clearly torn between your pain and his loyalty to Azriel’s wishes. “I know you want to be there for her, but we need you to stay calm. We’ll find her, I promise.” His voice softened, though the unsaid words hung in the air between you both. He couldn’t bear to see you suffer like this, but he was equally unwilling to go against Azriel’s wishes, especially given the state you were in.

“You can’t promise that, Cassian,” you whispered, your eyes filling with tears. “I have to go. I need to see her.”

The words hung heavy in the room, and for a moment, the only sound was the thrum of your pulse, the pain in your chest. Cassian stood still, staring at you with sympathy, but his resolve remained.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “But for now, Azriel’s decision stands.”

You felt the frustration and helplessness bubbling inside you, finally boiling over in a burst of raw emotion. Without thinking, you screamed at Cassian, the force of your voice nearly knocking you back.

“How dare you?!” Your words were sharp and full of pain, your body trembling as you stood, your fists clenched at your sides. “How dare you keep me from my daughter? I’m her mother! You don’t get to tell me I can’t go to her, Cassian!”

The words sliced through the air, filled with all the worry and fear that had been tormenting you since the moment Kaia went missing.

You were breathing heavily, your chest rising and falling with the intensity of your emotions, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care that you were yelling, that your voice was breaking. All that mattered was that you needed to see Kaia.

“I need to go to her!” you shouted, your voice cracking with the weight of your own helplessness. "I don't care what Azriel said! I am her mother, and I will not stay here while she's out there alone!"

Cassian’s face paled, and for a moment, you could see the weight of your words hit him. He flinched at the force of your anger, but his expression was filled with the same sorrow he had when he tried to hold you back.

“Y/N, I know you're hurting—” he began, but you cut him off, the pain driving you to keep pushing, keep screaming.

“No! You don’t know!” you yelled, voice rising again. “You don’t know what this feels like! You have no idea what it’s like to be so close, but still feel like you're losing everything, again. FOR THE SECOND TIME IN MY LIFE! You don’t get to make this decision for me!”

You didn’t know where the strength to scream came from, but you felt like you might collapse after releasing it all.

Cassian’s face softened, and he took a step toward you, his own frustration and sorrow evident. “I’m trying to protect you, Y/N. Azriel’s trying to protect you. We’re all trying to make sure you’re okay.”

But you were done listening to him. You shook your head, wiping at the tears that had fallen without your consent, and you stepped back.

“I’ll find her myself if I have to,” you spat, your voice low and dangerous now, the anger still buzzing in your veins. You knew you couldn’t—knew you’d never leave without their help—but the desperation in your words was undeniable.

Cassian sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Y/N. But I can’t let you go right now.” His voice was quiet, filled with the weight of his own guilt.

You glared at Cassian, your body still trembling from the intensity of the emotions you’d just unleashed. The anger was still there, simmering beneath the surface, but now there was an edge of frustration too. How could they forget? How could they forget who you were, who your family was?

You stepped closer to him, your voice low but seething with sharpness. “You and Azriel are so stupid,” you bit out, your words slicing through the air. “Did you really forget that I’m royalty? That I can winnow wherever I want?”

Cassian’s eyes widened in surprise, the realization dawning on him, but it didn’t stop the irritation that continued to rise in you.

“I don’t need permission from anyone,” you continued, your voice growing louder, filled with the weight of your frustration. “I’ve been through more than you’ll ever understand, and you both are sitting here acting like I’m helpless. I’m not.”

Your heart raced, the anger and panic swirling together as you took another step closer. “I’ve lived for centuries. I’ve faced things that you can’t even imagine, and you still forget who I am.”

Cassian stood frozen, and for a brief moment, you saw the guilt in his eyes. But you couldn’t hold back anymore. The emotions, the stress, the overwhelming need to find Kaia—they all surged to the surface.

“I don’t need you to protect me,” you hissed, each word filled with a raw power. “I’ll find my daughter myself.”

With that, you focused, your power thrumming beneath your skin. In a heartbeat, you winnowed out of the room, leaving Cassian standing there, his face stricken with shock.

You were done waiting. You were going to find Kaia. And nothing was going to stop you.

-----

You landed on the icy ground outside the cabin, your power swirling around you like a storm. Snow whipped through the air, the biting cold doing nothing to quell the fury blazing in your chest. You didn’t wait for an invitation. You pushed the door open, the warmth of the cabin contrasting violently with the icy wrath in your veins.

Rhysand was in the middle of the room, his hands braced on the edge of the dining table, his shoulders slumped in a way you rarely ever saw. At the sound of your arrival, his head snapped up, and his face paled as he saw the fire in your eyes.

“YN—” he started, his voice soft and broken.

“Don’t,” you snapped, your voice trembling with rage. “Don’t you dare try to explain this away, Rhysand.” You stalked toward him, each step heavy with the weight of your fury.

He held up his hands, his expression pained. “I know, I—”

“You let this happen!” you shouted, cutting him off. “How could you, Rhys? She’s my daughter!”

Rhys’s shoulders sagged further, his violet eyes shining with guilt. “It’s my fault,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “I should’ve been watching her more closely. I shouldn’t have let her out of my sight.”

The admission only fuelled your anger further. “You’re damn right it’s your fault!” you yelled, your voice echoing off the wooden walls of the cabin. “You, of all people, Rhys! You were supposed to protect her! And instead, you let her out of your sight? You let her disappear?”

Rhys flinched as though you’d struck him, but you didn’t stop. The pain and anger pouring out of you were unstoppable.

“And then,” you continued, your voice shaking with emotion, “you let Azriel tell me to stay behind? You let him keep this from me, let me sit there while my daughter—” Your voice broke, tears blurring your vision as you struggled to find the words.

“I thought I was doing what was best,” Rhys said, his own voice raw. “I thought if you came back, it would only make things worse. I didn’t want you to—”

“To what?” you cut in sharply. “To do exactly what I’m doing now? To fight for my daughter?”

“I didn’t want you to break,” he whispered, his voice so soft you almost missed it.

Your chest heaved, the pain in his words digging into your heart, but you couldn’t let go of your anger. “You think I haven’t already broken?” you demanded, your voice cracking. “You think I could sit there and not know? Not fight for her? She’s my daughter, Rhys. My world. And you—”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you shook your head, taking a step back from him. “You failed her, and you failed me.”

Rhys looked devastated, his usually calm demeanour completely shattered. He took a shaky breath, running a hand through his dark hair. “I know,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “I know I failed you. I failed Kaia. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it right.”

But his words weren’t enough. They couldn’t undo the hours Kaia had been missing, the fear clawing at your chest, or the image of your baby girl out there in the cold.

You turned away from him, wrapping your arms around yourself as the tears came harder now, the anger giving way to despair. “I’m her mother,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him. “I should’ve been here. I should’ve been the one to protect her.”

“You will,” he said softly. “We will. I swear to you, Y/N, we will bring her home.”

Rhys gently reached out, his hand brushing your shoulder as he tried to draw you closer, but you resisted. The sobs wracking your body were almost too much, your anger still boiling over despite the tears streaming down your face.

“Don’t—don’t touch me!” you choked out, but he ignored your words, pulling you into his chest.

“Let it out, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice soft and pained. “Just let it out.”

The dam broke as soon as you felt his arms wrap around you. Your fists came up, weak and sloppy, as you hit his chest over and over again. “How—could—you—let—this—happen?” you cried, punctuating each word with another hit.

Rhys didn’t flinch, didn’t move to stop you. He just stood there, holding you close, letting you take out every ounce of anger and heartbreak on him.

“I trusted you,” you sobbed, your punches losing strength as you buried your face against him. “She’s—she’s my baby, Rhys. She’s my baby…”

“I know,” he whispered, his voice breaking, his hand smoothing over your hair as he held you tightly. “I know, YN. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You clung to him now, your fists balled in his shirt as you sobbed uncontrollably. The room felt smaller, heavier, as the weight of your anguish filled the space.

Rhys just held you, his own tears slipping down his cheeks as he whispered apologies, his heart breaking alongside yours. “We’ll find her,” he said again, though his voice was hoarse and strained. “I swear to you, we’ll find her.”

But his promises felt hollow, the fear and pain overwhelming every other thought in your mind. You could only cry, clinging to your brother, desperate for the nightmare to end.

The door swung open with a gust of icy air as Azriel stepped inside, brushing snow from his shoulders. His hair was damp from the storm, his face etched with exhaustion and anguish. But the second his eyes landed on you standing there, dishevelled and tear-streaked in the middle of the room, his expression froze in shock.

"Y/N," he breathed, his voice rasping with disbelief. "What are you doing here? I told Cassian to—"

"Don’t even start fucking with me right now," you cut him off, your voice trembling with fury as you pulled away from Rhys. Your fists were clenched at your sides, your body taut with barely restrained emotion. “You told Cassian? You told Cassian? Azriel, my daughter is missing, and you thought you could order me to stay put like I’m some helpless bystander?”

Azriel’s jaw tightened, his eyes darting between you and Rhysand in the room. “I didn’t want you in danger,” he said, his tone low but defensive. “The storm—”

“The storm?” you snapped, stepping closer, your voice rising with every word. “I am her mother, Azriel! Do you think for one second that I would let a little snow stop me from trying to find her? You had no right to keep this from me!”

“I was trying to protect you!” he countered, his own voice rising now. His shadows curled around him, restless and agitated. “You don’t understand how dangerous this is, YN! You didn’t see what we found out there—”

“And whose fault is that?” you shouted, your hands trembling. “You left me in the dark, Azriel! You left me behind when I should’ve been here, with her, with you!”

Azriel took a step closer, his face contorted with pain. “I didn’t want you to go through this. Not again.”

His words hit you like a physical blow, the weight of them sinking into your chest. “Do you think I’m not already going through it?” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Every second she’s out there, I’m dying inside. You should’ve trusted me, Azriel. You should’ve told me.”

The silence that followed was heavy, broken only by your ragged breathing and the distant howl of the wind outside. Azriel looked at you, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I didn’t want to lose you too,” he said, his voice barely audible.

Your fury wavered for a moment, replaced by the raw ache in his words. But the pain of Kaia’s absence burned brighter, and you shook your head, stepping back. “This isn’t about me, Azriel. This is about her. And we are wasting time.”

Azriel’s shoulders sagged, his shadows wrapping tightly around him as if to shield him from the weight of your words. “You’re right,” he said softly, his voice cracking. “You’re right.”

Azriel flinched as if you had physically struck him, his shadows recoiling and tightening around him. His eyes, which usually held warmth and steadiness, now mirrored the brokenness in his soul. You stood in the middle of the room, trembling with fury and heartbreak, your voice sharp enough to cut through steel.

“After everything we’ve been through, Azriel,” you began, your tone low but seething, “after all these centuries, I never thought I could look at you and feel this... this rage. This disappointment.”

“Y/N, please,” he started, his voice cracking as he stepped toward you, his hand half-reaching. But you took a step back, holding your ground.

“No!” you shouted, your voice shaking the room as much as your hands were. “You don’t get to plead with me. Not after what you’ve done. You made a decision for me, for us, without even giving me the chance to fight for her. Do you know how that feels, Azriel? Do you know what it’s like to feel useless when your child—our child—is out there, scared and alone?”

“I was trying to protect you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible over the roaring fire in the hearth. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you going through this—”

“You didn’t protect me, Azriel,” you hissed, tears streaking down your face. “You betrayed me. You made me feel like I wasn’t enough, like I couldn’t handle the weight of this, when all I wanted was to be by your side. And now? Now I don’t even know if I can look at you without—”

You choked on the words, your throat tightening. But you forced them out, every syllable laced with venom and heartbreak. “I’ve never been so disappointed in my mate before. I didn’t even think it was possible, but you’ve proven me wrong. You’ve hurt me in a way I didn’t think you ever could, and I—”

You paused, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. “I think I hate you for it.”

Azriel froze, his entire body stiffening as your words sank in. His shadows stilled, no longer flickering with life but curling around his boots as if in mourning. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

The silence was deafening, the air between you thick with pain and regret. Finally, he whispered, “I don’t know how to fix this.”

You let out a hollow laugh, wiping angrily at the tears streaming down your cheeks. “You can start by finding our daughter, Azriel. Because if you don’t…” You shook your head, unable to finish the sentence.

Without another word, you turned away from him, your heart shattering into a thousand pieces as you left him standing there, broken and alone.

You stormed toward the door, grabbing the first coat you saw on the rack. Your movements were quick and fuelled by pure adrenaline, your mind racing with thoughts of Kaia out there somewhere—scared, cold, and alone. As your fingers fumbled with the buttons, a shadow darted in front of you, blocking the doorway.

“YN, stop,” Rhysand said, his voice steady but laced with desperation. His hand was outstretched, palm up, as if he were trying to calm a feral beast. “You can’t go out there. Not in this storm. It’s too dangerous.”

You turned on him, your eyes blazing with fury. “Move, Rhys. I’m not asking.”

Before he could respond, Azriel appeared beside him, his shadows curling protectively around his frame. His face was pale, and his golden eyes were glassy with guilt and pain. “Please, don’t do this,” Azriel said, his voice hoarse. “It’s too dangerous out there. I can’t lose you too.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” you snapped, your voice trembling with barely contained rage. “Neither of you do. My daughter is out there, Azriel. Our daughter. And I won’t sit here another second while she’s alone in the cold.”

“I understand how you feel—” Rhys began, but you cut him off with a sharp laugh, bitter and raw.

“You understand?” you spat, stepping closer to him. “Your son is safe, warm, and alive, Rhys. Don’t you dare tell me you understand what this feels like. Don’t you dare.”

Rhysand flinched, his mouth pressing into a thin line. Azriel stepped forward, his voice breaking as he said, “YN, please. I’ll go back out. I’ll search all night if I have to. But you can’t do this. I need you to be safe.”

“You need me to be safe?” you repeated, your voice rising. “Where was that concern when you decided to keep me in the dark? Where was that when you made me stay behind like I’m some fragile porcelain doll? You don’t get to need me now, Azriel. Not after everything.”

Tears welled in his eyes, but he didn’t move out of your way. Neither of them did.

“Move,” you demanded, your voice shaking.

“No,” Azriel said, his voice firm but trembling at the edges. “I won’t let you.”

The room seemed to shrink around you as you stared at him, your chest heaving with anger and despair. “Then you’ll have to stop me,” you said coldly, stepping forward.

Rhysand’s magic flickered in the air, subtle but ready, and Azriel’s shadows coiled tighter. But neither of them moved.

“You can try to stop me,” you said, your voice low and dangerous, “but you won’t win. Not this time.”

For a moment, all three of you were frozen in a tense standoff, the howling wind outside the only sound. Finally, Rhysand stepped aside, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

Azriel hesitated, his hand twitching at his side, but he eventually followed suit, his shadows retreating as his eyes filled with anguish.

Without another glance, you threw the coat over your shoulders, opened the door, and stepped out into the icy storm.

Part 4

[blimpintime]

cursed : azriel x reader

in which azriel has a crush on a witch, and thinks she cursed him.

warnings: none (unedited)

word count: 1.4k

“She’s quite the character huh?” Cassian says to Azriel, staring at you. He grunts in response wondering why you are currently in a handstand competition with a couple of kids in the middle of town. Kind of in awe how your little black dress didn't fall down to your face with you being upside down, but that's a perk of being a witch, he thinks. 

As if you heard them talking about you, your gaze finds theirs. You grin and then lose balance and gracefully fall out of the handstand. It being the last day of summer did make it a cool one but still having been outside with a summer camp of kids you were quite dewy with sweat. Your face was flushed and damp as you made your way towards the two men. 

“Hi Cassian!” You say with a grin, you turn and look at Azriel, your smile falling into a smaller one. “Spymaster.” You nod. Cassian lets a chuckle slip through at Az’s blank face. You were always like this with him. He never fully understood why. You kept him at a distance always but managed to be involved in every one else’s business. He often thought it was because you could not stand him. And then he thought you were terrified of him, because let’s face it, that was more believable.

You were making small talk with Cassian when Azriel started to get lost in his mind thinking of you and how it seemed you teased him on occasion. With your little quips here and there. Constantly smelling like those fresh baked chocolate-chip muffins that were his guilty pleasure to eat when he got back from long missions

He noticed eventually that Cassian had walked away from you two when a group of kids started playing tag with him. He turned to look at you where you decided to sit on the grass, he made a quick decision to sit next to you. Both of you were silent, but for once it was comfortable.

The path leading up to your small little house on the bank of the Sidra was always well lit at night. Glowing with purple and orange lanterns their reflection makes it seem brighter than it was that night. Your house was on the smaller side (still fairly large all considering.) But you loved to host seasonal parties due to them being in connection with your magic and since summer was ending and fall was starting, it was the perfect time to throw one of your celebrations. 

Currently the Inner Circle is in your living room drinking and eating food you have made for them. Your familiar, Silly the tabby cat, has made their home on Azriel’s lap. He doesn’t seem to mind though. Gently petting the cat's soft fur. You stare at them from the kitchen with a soft smile on your face. 

“You could just tell him you know.” Nesta says from behind you, scaring the absolute shit out of you. You place a hand over your chest and let out a deep breath. “Nesta, I’m going to put a bell on you.” She laughs lightly as you scrunch up your nose. 

“I am not joking though.” She says softly, and you look back at him now playing with Silly on the couch. “He can’t even stand to be in the same room as me for more than ten minutes. There is no way I could tell him how I feel.” She hums in response. 

“I think you’d be surprised.” And then she walks back out to sit with Cassian. You did deeply care about Azriel, borderline loved him. You felt connected to him in a way you couldn’t describe, just that your soul was at peace with him. Your magic proved that theory too. It sometimes appears to you in colorful hazes around people. 

Every color had a different meaning, the majority of the Inner Circle had a warm orange around them. Your magic had to be newer or just not have a written history because there is barely any research on what these colors mean.  However, you chalked it up to orange meaning some of the most important people in your life. Azriel though, he had a beautiful blue humming around him almost constantly for you, and you had no idea what that meant.

You must have been lost in thought for a while because the next person to scare you was Rhys with Nyx on his hip. He was building another plate for Feyre and Nyx to pick off of. 

“You okay?” He asked you softly. Nyx’s grubby hands reaching for the fresh food on the plate, you and Rhys both grin at that. You nod your head in response to his earlier question. 

“Maybe ask him to hang out with you?” He says, like it's that easy. You shake your head, “I don’t know about that.” 

“Well, it doesn’t hurt to try.” You watch him leave the kitchen and decide it's time to do the same. 

You follow Rhys back into your living space, where it's warm of laughter and love. You sit down on the only open seat, which happens to be on the couch next to Azriel. Silly runs over to your lap and demands petting. You look down at the orange cat with love and when you look back up you meet Azriel’s puzzled stare.

“What?” You ask him softly, nudging the cat off your lap gently. You turn to fully face him when he abruptly stands up. He grabs your arm and pulls you towards the outside. 

“We will be back.” He says gruffly towards everybody, dragging you along.

“Please for the love of Mother, take your time.” Cassian says with a cheeky grin, “We have bets placed.” to which earns him a vulgar gesture from both you and Azriel.

When you go outside he drags you closer to the river and further from the house. Probably to avoid prying ears and eyes, but with everyone’s magic you go ahead and place a sound proofing spell over the two of you.

“Is everything alright Azriel?” You ask him after a moment of silence. He turns back around to look at you with something close to… fear?  

“So, what is it?” You look at him deadpanned and tilt your head in confusion.

“What spell did you place on me? Why, when I go to sleep I think about how I hope you had a good day. When I wake up I wonder if you actually ate breakfast and not forgetting after you have your morning coffee. And tonight, I wonder where you go when this party is mainly in celebration for you and I am busy playing with your cat and not with you.” He gets out in one breath. I stare at him for a moment and when I open my mouth he interrupts me again,

“Why is it when you are near my hands shake less and my worries ease but when you are gone I crave your scent. What curse? What spell?” Azriel genuinely looks shaken for a moment, and for a second so do you. 

“I didn’t know you felt that way too, Azriel.” You say and approach him with a soft smile. When you guys finally make eye contact though something inside you both, snaps. Your eyes widen and so do his. Mate.

You let out a little giggle that eventually turns into a full laugh. “You thought I cursed you?” You say through giggles, “I thought you hated me Az.” 

“Ah, well that goes both ways.” He responded with a smile. You look at him in confusion. “I could never hate you.”

“You couldn’t stand to be near me.” He quips back.

“No. You couldn’t stand to be near me.” You say and jokingly sniff at him. He shakes his head and grins. “We are both stupid.” You nod your head in agreement. 

“A couple of stupid mates, huh.” You look up at him, now leaning shoulder to shoulder. 

“Yeah something like that.” And then he kisses you. 

Warm lips slotting over yours softly, you both start getting a little more heated with each other. Hands finding their way into your hair while yours go around his neck. His lips softly biting yours and then pulling away. You arch and reach up on your tiptoes in a feat of chasing his lips. He grins at you, puts his hands on your cheeks and kisses your nose. 

“Let’s go back inside.” He whispers and leans back, as if he’s afraid that this will all be a dream if one of you speaks too loudly.

“I am kicking everyone out the minute we get back inside.” You whisper back and kiss his collar bone. 

“That sounds great to me.” he says and with that you both walk back to your house holding hands. 

a/n: so this was completely self indulgent, I wanted a cozy azriel fic!

please tell me what you think!

I don't own any characters that sarah j. mass created.

[tadpolesonalgae]

Hibernate

Azriel x reader: Drabble

word count: 660

————————

He finds her huddled on the floor, collapsed in front of the fireplace atop a furred rug. 

The coals are a dark red, broody and dying, simmering with slowly declining heat while the flames finish their meal. 

Her arms quake around her shoulders, ankles crossed tight as her toes tangle together, squeezing herself into an impossibly small shape, head bowed. No energy to make it to bed, so giving out before the fire. At least this time it wasn’t on the kitchen floor—her hip had been aching all through the next day, and had hindered her sleep that night. 

Azriel has no need to muffle his steps, he knows she can’t hear him right now, and doesn’t want to startle her. Her heart is thumping loud enough as it is. 

Instead his shadows slide forward, softly roving across the rug to slip and tangle with her limbs, gently interleaving themselves with her space. It takes a while, but eventually she’s all wrapped up, and Azriel can move forwards to roll her into his arms, palm cupping her shoulder, fingers dipping beneath the curve of her knee, pressing her side into his chest as he lifts her from the floor and walks her down the corridor to his room. 

Tears collect beneath her jaw, and his fingers come away soaked when he tries to dry them. 

Shadows pull back the blue, cotton covers, and he wishes his bed were warmer for her. That it was softer, and heated, so she could be comfortable. 

Azriel seats her on the mattress, wings tucking in closer as he dips onto one knee, palm wrapping around her ankle while his fingers dip into her sock, guiding it free before repeating with her other foot. His palms slide around her waist, standing her upright, hands taking the skirts of her dress with him as he gets to his feet, shadows loosening the ties at her back so her skin is free and she can breathe. The dress comes easily from over her head, darkness swiftly shifting to move dampened locks from her cheeks. 

Her arms gather around his waist, and her head dips against his chest. Her lungs tremble with each inhale, wet lashes shaking with every tremor, lips quivering as sadness seeps deeper into her bones. Azriel pauses, wanting to get her quickly into bed, and wrap her up where she’ll be happier, and warmer, and better able to rest. But he can’t push her away. 

Azriel wraps his arm around her upper back, head dipping to gaze down at her muffled form. His palm soothes up and down her spine, putting a firm pressure into her back to remind her where she is, fingers collecting around her upper arm while his thumb strokes back and forth, allowing her to grasp onto the senses. 

Slowly, he lifts her into his arms, shadows doing what his hands cannot as they slowly strip him of his clothes, Azriel keeping her tucked to his chest for as long as he can until darkness tugs at the ties of the slat below his wings. Once more, he sets her down on the mattress, this time guiding her to settle herself deep into the dip of the bed—one much larger and deeper than what she would make—and she fills the space he’s created hungrily. Desperately. 

Azriel makes quick work of ridding himself of the last few layers before silently moving to the opposite side, and sliding in beside her.

Her feet are icy when she presses them to his bare legs, fingertips like snow-capped fungi as they crawl and search across his chest and shoulders, grasping at his heat as she curves herself into the space he can give her. 

Her inhales turn deeper, pulling lungfuls of air down into her body, allowing them to slowly dissipate throughout her bloodstream.

Treasuring each pull of his scent; submerging herself in as much of him as she can. 

————

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[thelov3lybookworm]

Cat claws

Day 2: Scarred.

Summary: Maybe he can forgive Nuts.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1177

Warnings: cat being mean to hazel :(

A/n: azzie just loses his mind in tis lmao nd you cant blame him hazel's the most adorable little thing ever 🥹 yall just wait till she begins talking azs going to sob his eyes out (subtle foreshadowing 🎀)

@azrielappreciationweek

ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Azriel watched, amused, as Hazel attempted to crawl towards the black furry creature that sat in the corner licking its paw.

Hazel had only started crawling a week or so ago, and Azriel absolutely loved watching her drag herself around. It was often amusing to see her get angry when the carpet slowed down her movements when it caught on her clothes, or when she bumped into the couch and glared at it.

She would always turn to search for Azriel when that happened, letting out the loudest yell her tiny body could muster as if ordering him to get rid of the offending item.

Even barely eight months old, Y/n always said Hazel had her father’s ability to glare and grumble.

Azriel always scoffed in return to that statement before forcing himself to stop and realise him being grumpy only proved his mate’s words to be true.

Hazel was currently looking at her father with her brows furrowed, and Azriel blinked, coming back to the present as he realised she was trying to move over the carpet. He grinned at the anger on her face and stood, bending down once he was close enough to pick her up.

He set her down closer to the cat Y/n had insisted on getting after Hazel’s birth, her reasoning being that their daughter needed a friend and then named him Nuts.

Hazel and her best friend Nuts.

‘Get it? Hazel-Nuts’ She had giggled.

It made Azriel laugh back when she had suggested it, but soon enough he’d realised she was not joking. At all.

Azriel watched on with a smile as Hazel reached Nuts and tried to grab his fur. Nuts walked away without a look in her direction, which always pissed Azriel off. Who did the creature think it was?

"Azriel, that’s a cat. He does not understand how to act with a baby-" Y/n called out from the kitchen, having peeked into the living room to see what had caused her mate to get so mad that his emotions reached her through the bond.

"Well how long does it take to learn? I swear to the mother one day I'm kicking him out if he continues to bully my daughter."

Azriel heard Y/n sigh and walk closer to him as Hazel crawled towards Nut again. He now sat closer to the hearth, where a fire burned red to ward off the winter chill that was beginning to set over Velaris.

"Az-"

But Azriel did not hear the rest of Y/n’s sentence.

His ears began ringing as he stepped forward as if in a daze, eyes sharp on the raised paw of Nuts, who, having seen Hazel get close to him again, tried to hit her.

The firelight glinted off his claws.

And then Hazel’s loud cries filled the room as her head reared back, eyes clenched shut in pain.

She had a habit of flopping on her back when she was mad. Azriel had never really worried too much about that particular habit of Hazel’s until now, when she was too close to the fire and the tiniest movement would end up with her-

No, Azriel did not want to complete the thought.

In that moment of panic, Azriel did not care that there was a glass covering separating the fire from the room, and that no matter what Hazel did, she would not be able to be burned.

In that moment all that mattered to Azriel was that the fucking cat living in his house had the audacity to hurt his daughter.

Azriel grabbed Hazel, frantically looking over her to check for her injuries. There weren’t any big claw marks, but the tiny scratch on the chubby flesh of her upper arm connecting it to her shoulder made Azriel see red.

He turned to glare at Y/n as he pulled Haze close.

"I am telling you Y/n. If by the time I return, that bastard is not out of this house, I will drop him into the sidra myself."

Y/n’s eyes were helpless, but Azriel did not wait for a moment longer as he walked out of the main door and took flight, his only mission to find Madja and get his daughter healed.

He did not want her to be scarred like the hands cradling her.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Flying back home, Azriel decided that he needed some time alone to figure out why he had reacted so harshly.

He knew Y/n had been right. Nuts was an animal. He did not understand how to treat babies. But Azriel did not want to admit that.

The stars were out, so clearly visible as Azriel flew his daughter back home. It had been over an hour since he’d left the house in such a hurry, wishing he could strangle the cat.

He had taken to the skies after Madja had assured him that Hazel would be fine, and had his emotions not been so high and panicked, maybe Hazel wouldn’t have cried at all. After long moments of being assured by Madja, Azrie finally calmed down and left.

"I’m sorry baby. Did I scare you?" Azriel mumbled, glancing down at his daughter who stared up at the sky with wide eyes. She only giggled back in answer.

The innocence in the sound made Azriel smile.

The smile faded just as quick as it had come when his eyes fell on his hands cradling her head and back.

They once were soft and smooth like Hazel’s. They once had grabbed his own parents hand with as much love as he now grasped his daughters. Only now, they were uglier.

If Y/n heard his thoughts, she would have yelled at him and forced him to say they were beautiful. But Azriel knew better. They weren’t, and they never would be.

The only thing he liked even a little about his hands was the fact that their texture was so different from other’s hands, Hazel always immediately figured out she was in her father’s arms.

Y/n always talked about how the same scarred hands he despised were the reason she and Hazel felt safe. Those words echoed back to Azriel when he began doubting himself. It always made him feel better.

Hazel squealed loudly when Azriel dipped lower, air pushing gently against her back.

She was so pure, so innocent. She did not even know of the cruel world she was born in.

And Azriel swore to keep it that way. He had hoped the world outside his father’s dungeon would be better, once, and quickly realised that there were people in the world that would pounce at the chance to scar innocent souls just for the sadistic pleasure of ruining their lives.

He did not want her soul to turn out as scarred as his too.

As he finally landed on the front porch of his home and heard loud meow’s coming from inside, he contemplated letting the cat stay.

Maybe a cat’s claw scratch was not that bad.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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[thehighladywrites]

— “My cat isn’t weird, you’re weird!”

☀︎ — pairing: nerd azriel x bimbo/ditzy/popular reader

☀︎ — summary: you overhear Azriel call you kitten weird and give him attitude

☀︎ — warnings: fluff, miscommunication, crack, humor, reader jumping into conclusions lol (real asf plus me asf)

☀︎ — amara’s note: a fun lil filler episode

series masterlist

Azriel can handle your usual attitude—stomping around in heels, pouting and huffing at inconveniences. Foul moods never last too long with you, so dealing with you isn't something that requires much effort. You're usually extremely honest and tell him exactly what's wrong.

But today is on another level. Your attitude is absolutely lethal. You're ignoring him, rolling your eyes, and it's not just a fleeting annoyance—you're mad for the entire day, something that has never happened before.

Your manicured nails tap against your hip as you storm around, shrugging carelessly at whatever Azriel asks you, a clear sign that you're deeply upset.

“Come here. Please, tell me what’s up. Did I do something to you?” Azriel asks gently, guiding you to sit down on his bed as he stands above you.

You still don’t respond, instead sighing loudly and looking away.

“You know I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me, right? I promise that if you tell me, I’ll solve it,” he swears.

Finally, you mumble out an answer so quietly that he has to ask you to repeat yourself.

“You told Azzie he was weird.”

Azriel’s brows knit in confusion. Why on earth would he call your cat weird?

“I wouldn’t do that, baby. I love the cat and I respect him.”

“I heard you last night, you were giving him his yummy kitten candy, then you called him weird. Azzie isn’t weird, you’re weird,” you exclaim, your eyes wide and glossy.

You grab Azzie from the floor and shove him in Azriel’s face. “How could you say that about him? Look at how adorable he is, look at my itty bitty sweet baby! He is so not weird at all!” you exclaim, your eyes filled with sadness.

Azriel thinks even more, worried that you’re going to hate him. Then he remembers it. He didn’t call the cat weird, he called the brand of candy weird.

“Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean Azzie. I was talking about the candy. It has, like, bacon and fish flavor. That’s what I meant was weird,” he explains, gently taking your hands in his.

“Oh…” you say, your pout fading. “I guess that makes sense. Bacon and fish is kinda strange. So, you don’t think Azzie is weird?”

“Not at all. Azzie’s perfect, a good companion with an amazing personality,” he reassures, smiling softly. “His fluffy fur is very cute.”

You smile back, your mood lifting. “Awww, I knew I was imagining things. Of course you wouldn’t do that. I’m so sorry, Az. You know I love ya, right?”

“I know, baby. And I love you too,” Azriel says, leaning down to kiss your forehead as Azzie meows sweetly.

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[alyslittlehaven]

In What We Keep Chapter 1 - A Fires Warmth.

DragonBorne!Reader X Azriel Shadowsinger.

One fateful night after a mission, the three bat brothers need to seek refuge from the cruel winds past the mountains of Illyria, after a little debating, Azriel decides to take his brothers to the slice of life he took for himself

Warnings: Self Made Fae Race, swearing, talks of sex/sexual interactions, lewd jokes and or conversations, Pregnancy, Pre-established Relationship, mates, fated, Soft Azriel, secret relationships and more ACOTAR IS NOT MY BOOK, NEITHER ARE THE CHARACTERS

(This is short due to my writer's block hitting hard, also- ignore my horrible writing in this I don't have the greatest imagination right now lol.)

“This storm isn’t going anywhere, Az.”

Cassian’s voice strained as he squinted through the heavy snowfall. Their footsteps behind them quickly being covered up as they continued on through the cold. Cassian groaned, his body shivering harshly.

 Azriel grunted as he tightened the fur that hung around his body. The black dire wolf pelt kept out the wind just for a little longer as the snow picked up around them all. Azriel looked over his shoulder, his hair swaying lightly in the wind as his brothers stopped behind him. There was no way they could continue on like this. Flying in this weather would be a death wish and the creatures that they were hunting were extremely sensitive to magic. Their noses picked up the slightest bit of arcane and followed it like it was food. 

The snow continued to whip around them. Azriels wings shifting as the wind blew in between the membrane and his back. The cold slowly seeps into his bones as the three of them pick up the pace once again. Rhysand let out a huff, looking around slowly and yelling over the blizzard. “There is no way we can get to RoseHall like this, let alone the camps! We need to find shelter!” Cassian nodded, looking at Azriel with a pleading look. Rhysand was right, there was no way the storm was going to let up, and if anything was just getting worse the longer they walked. Rosehall was nowhere on the other side of the mountain and the winds of Illyria were unforgiving to travellers during the summer months. What would happen to the three of them if they continued to trudge through the snow?

Cassian crossed his arms, his lips turning blue as they stood still huddled together. His wings spanned out and fluttered to get the snow off of them. The weight on his shoulders now dispersed as her shook himself off. Azriel looked around, looking for any kind of landmark that could tell him where they stood on the mountain. His eyes locked into a bundle of lights in the distance. A relieved breath left him as he saw the small, broken sign with a carved dragon egg on it. 

His brows furrowed as he thought, his arms wrapping around himself as he took a couple of steps. Dread slowly made its way to his stomach as he realized where they were heading.

He could bring them into his home. The small cabin he had built with his own hands inside of the heart of the hearth. The home that his mate was in while he stood out in the cold with his brothers. Her body probably curled up on the couch with that ugly knitted blanket she made draped over her as a book remained under her nose. The fire probably roaring in the fireplace and leaving the room in a nice orange glow.

Azriel sighed, quickly pulling up his hood before beginning to move in the direction of the light,. His voice hoarse as he spoke. "I have somewhere we can stay. if you don't mind walking for a bit more, that is." Cassian rolled his eyes, his feet moving without him having to think about saying yes or no as he followed his brothers closely. 

“Azriel…where are we going?” Rhysands teeth chatters, his breaths coming out as fog due to the cold. His whole body nearly froze at the question. He had worked so hard to keep this part of his life a secret from his family. The relaxing life he came to every night and woke up the day after next to. The happy cabin he filled with love and work that he made sure he separated his work life from his mate. His wonderful, beautiful mate pressed kisses to his hand when he came home from work and tried out new Illyrian recipes so he would feel at home in the hearth. The best woman he had met, and the calmest. They had spoken about it a few times, introducing her to his family and the inner circle, and despite her wanting to meet them he just didn’t want to yet. Wanting to keep her to himself just for a little longer.

“To…a friend's house. She lives right up here in this cabin.”

Rhysand and Cassian looked at each other, a small shrug was all Cassian responded with as they walked up the stairs of the porch. Azriel quickly opened the door, the wood creaking under his weight as he ushered the two in. A frown on his face as he shut the door behind them. “Y/n?” Azriels voice carried through the small cabin, some shuffling in the distance going dead silent.

“I’ll be there in a second love!” A couple of pans knocked together before she walked into the hallway, a small pep in her step now that she saw who was in her home. Cassian, ever the gossip, repeatedly hit Rhysands arm like a teenage girl. A smirk on his face as he raised an eyebrow at Azriel.

Rhysands jaw dropped as she untied her apron, the large and evident bump now on full display as she put down the fabric and pressed a hand to her stomach. Her eyes raked over the two unfamiliar men with a gentle smile. "You must be Azriels brothers...welcome to the Hearth. Come- Sit down, please."

[florencemtrash]

The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Chapter Eighteen

Summary: Y/n's clairvoyance is a gift from the Mother, but it feels more like a curse. With the power to gain knowledge through touch alone, Y/n holes herself up in The Alcove and hopes her powers and parentage will remain a secret. But things will change after the Summer Solstice ball and a chance encounter with a certain Shadowsinger.

Warnings: Nothing super specific, but things get pretty dark (at least in my opinion). Mentions of torture.

The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Masterlist

Masterlist of Masterlists

Azriel grabbed Rhys by the front of his jacket, hands shaking horribly despite all his efforts to stop. It had started this morning, when another disastrous attempt to talk to Andrian had left Azriel with his mind in shambles, knife pressed against his own throat. It had been going on for weeks now. Someway, somehow, Andrian would find a way to break through Azriel’s defenses and force him to relieve his worst memories. Sometimes he dreamt of his burning hands. Mostly he thought of you, and the day he’d nearly killed you. 

“Tell me you didn’t,” Azriel growled desperately. “Tell me!” 

It was too easy for him to pick out when his brother was speaking with Feyre, and something about the way Rhysand had been looking at him— like he was a fraction of a second away from splintering into a million pieces — told Azriel enough about who had been sent for. You were the only one who could calm him. The only one who could do what he and Rhys had failed to do. 

Violet eyes shone from a perfectly handsome face. A face he knew too well. A face that he wanted to punch right now. 

“I’m afraid I can’t, brother,” Rhysand responded gravely. 

Azriel slammed his fist against the wall instead, taking out a chunk of granite that spit grey dust into the air. He swore beneath his breath, pacing the hallway and trying to steady his racing heart. He’d never wanted you to see this place. He’d never even wanted you to step foot on the island above, its rolling peaks a stark contrast to the tunnels below where Azriel conducted his business. Business that stained his hands a thousand shades of red. 

“You’ve been working yourself ragged, Az, and Andrian still hasn’t said anything. Not to you. Not to me. We need to know all we can about Koschei. Vassa’s on the brink of madness. Henna’s dead. I can’t even get past Andrian’s mental wards. What the fuck are we meant to do?” 

“So you thought to go behind my back and bring Y/n into this?! She’s not something for you to use, Rhys.” 

“She’s already in this mess.” Rhys reminded him, as he often did. His eyes softened as he looked to the locked door at the end of the hall with its small, rectangular window. Bars breaking up the lamplight glowing from within. “And you know she’d agree this is the best course of action. She’ll be able to do it.” 

Azriel’s hands shook. “Give me another week and I’ll get us the information we need. Tell Feyre to turn around. Don’t bring Y/n here.” Don’t let her see this part of me.

“The boy doesn’t have another week. He doesn’t even have a day.” 

The shaking traveled throughout Azriel’s entire body. His eyes darkened and he began the process of hiding his heart away within the void that curled inside of him. That wicked beast that was always on the verge of swallowing him whole. 

Feyre winnowed you both to the outskirts of the northern territories and you went from sweating in your fur-lined leathers to shivering in the knee deep snow. The Illyrian Mountains rose behind you like predatorial rows of shark teeth and the endless sea stretched in front, slate grey and empty except for lonely ripples of sea foam. Through the frosty haze you could make out a smattering of islands, each with their own tooth-like tips capped with snow and ice. Feyre looked at you, her eyes leaning more towards blue now that she’d tapped into the Winter Court’s power to stave off the cold. 

The Warren was protected by wards that made winnowing impossible, so you let Feyre scoop you up in her powerful arms, wings growing from her back like unfurling shadows before the ground dropped away from her feet and she took off into the sky. 

You clung to her shoulders, eyes slamming shut so you wouldn’t have to look down at the churning black waters and the rocks they crashed against. If you were to fall now, you could only hope you drown before the waves ripped your body to pieces against the rocks like meat torn between a pair of canines. 

You stayed frozen and tight as a coil until the rush of wind stopped and you no longer felt your stomach creeping up into your throat. You could have dropped to your knees and kissed the ground if you weren’t sure your lips would freeze there. You did shove your hands into the gritty sand though, breathing slowly through your nose until you finally had the strength to stand. 

Feyre led you down the long stretch of beach, waves whistling in the wind — a haunting, beautiful melody, like a woman crying. 

Azriel had discovered The Warren centuries ago. After a particularly brutal brawl that had left him with a broken arm and cracked ribs, he’d taken to the skies, desperate to escape the hard packed floors and burning scent of sex mixed with alcohol that seemed to invade every corner of the Windhaven barracks. He’d been fighting over a woman, a woman that had been dragged into the rowdy common room trembling with the telltale sign of a whisky haze over her burnt umber eyes, dress ripped and muddy. 

Did it even matter that he’d brought her back untouched to that leaning house with its wooden slabs frosted over and the chimney coughing up black smoke like a diseased lung? Azriel had wondered as he flew without a destination in mind. And when he’d finally collapsed on the island, frozen ground beneath his hands and knees and spitting out blood from his cut up gums, his shadows had tugged him towards the gaping mouth of The Warren, urging him to explore a darkness that was his and his alone. It had been his escape. A safe place in the world that had so few. But when Rhysand became High Lord and he the Spymaster, Azriel hadn’t hesitated to give up The Warren in the service of the Night Court, adding it to the long list of sacrifices he made so that he might actually start to feel like he deserved his place with his family. 

You stilled in front of The Warren’s entrance, black walls glittering and damp from sea spray. Jagged, cracked bone rocks hovered overhead like axes ready to fall, jutting out of a cliffside and curling over the beach in the shape of a hunched back or an unhinged jaw. Wind whistled from within like asthma — high-pitched and keening. 

“This is where you keep all your prisoners.” You weren’t asking a question, merely stating a fact. 

Feyre had had little time for explanations back at the House. She’d focused on defending your body against the frigid cold to come, her mind split between you and Rhysand as he worried over Azriel from miles away. 

“Not all of them. Only the ones Azriel finds useful.” 

“The ones he plans to torture for information.” 

From somewhere deep within the earth you swore you heard the clanging of chains, a growl, and a desperate groan that had the hair on your neck rising. 

Feyre’s usual warmth was gone, replaced by something with more tact and less care. “This isn’t a place for the faint of heart, Y/n. And neither is Azriel. He’s tried to hide this from you, but it’s as much a part of him as anything else and if you care for him as much as I believe you do, you’re going to need to get used to this.” 

There was the faintest flicker of doubt in your heart. “Andrian… he’s just a boy… you haven’t—Az hasn’t—”

“No,” Feyre said quickly. Horrified. “Azriel found him weeks ago trying to slip back into Day Court. We brought him here because it’s the most heavily warded place in Prythian and because the world needs to be protected from him as much as he needs to be protected from the world.” She grabbed your hands. They felt cold as ice. “Y/n. I swear to you, we haven’t hurt that boy. We won’t hurt him.” 

“I know. I just… I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Already you felt sick to your stomach just for asking. Azriel was many things — dangerous, cruel to those he felt were deserving of it, maybe even murderous at times — but he was still Az… and you weren’t afraid. Not even as you let Feyre lead you into The Warren, and you were swallowed whole.  

The mouth of the cave quickly narrowed into a tunnel before turning at a severe angle and twisting like a corkscrew downward. If it weren’t for you and Feyre’s glowing bodies, you might have missed one of The Warren’s slick steps and tumbled down forever. 

You passed by two offshoots, each branching out into their own secret tunnels that whispered and echoed and smelled faintly of blood. Coppery and sour. 

One of the rooms you walked through smelled like metal and limestone. The rust-colored ground and drain in the center of the floor told you all you needed to know about its purpose and before you could stop yourself, before you could even think about whether this was truly a good idea, you found yourself pressing a hand against one of the chains hanging from the ceiling. 

If Feyre was right and this was truly a part of Azriel — something horrible that needed to come with all of the good that he was — then you wanted to know. You felt that you had some right to know, and if it was the power the Mother had granted you, then you would use it when you saw fit. 

Feyre froze when your power flooded the room without warning, feeling the energy and fury radiating off your skin without even turning to look at you. You kept the memories a safe distance away, but drank in the knowledge of every horrible hand that had hung from that ceiling like you were reading a list of names from a book. You read their crimes. You read every drop of blood that Azriel had spilled on the ground. 

“Y/n?” Feyre asked tentatively, fearfully, when you blinked and released the chain. 

She had every hope the bond would snap in place for you soon and that you’d help end Azriel’s centuries of loneliness. That you might be the one to finally show him he was deserving of kindness. But to love Azriel as he was, with all his rough edges and the pain he could inflict as much as he carried… it was not for the faint of heart.  

“I understand why Azriel wanted to hide this place from me. This part of him,” you said quietly and to no one in particular. Not even to Feyre. “But he shouldn’t have.” Your eyes turned harder than stone. “They deserved it. Each and every one of them.” 

Feyre stood, shocked into silence, and it wasn’t until you gripped her arm and nudged her into the next room that she found she was able to walk again. 

You passed by more hallways and more rooms, some disturbingly clean and empty, others with chains hanging from the ceiling or littered on the floor. But the strangest part was, you could smell Azriel within these cramped walls, and that alone made you quicken your steps. 

You chased that familiar scent, walking confidently through the dark and passing Feyre until you were spit out in a long, neat tunnel with one metal door at the end. Tendrils of shadow flickered from around the corner. 

“Azriel?” 

Your heart pounded in your chest when you saw him leaning against the wall, hands folded behind his back. Rhys’s eyes flickered to you, then to his mate as she followed closely behind. Azriel stiffened, his eyes locked and heavy. Shadows tugged at his eyes and accentuated the sharpness of his cheeks. He looked like he hadn’t slept since the day he left you… which wasn’t so far from the truth. Because the whole time he’d been here, he’d been thinking of you, and the ways you might hate him for what he did and the sick corners of his soul. For—

You sailed into his arms, wrapping yourself around his torso and pressing your face into the hollow of his neck. Part of your mind chastised you, calling you silly and desperate as it reminded you it had only been ten days since you’d last seen him. But you didn’t care. It felt far longer than that. Too long. 

You needed this almost as much as he did. 

You disappeared behind his wings, cocooned safely in membranous folds and shadows that kissed your skin. Azriel himself buried his face in your hair, feeling some of his worst worries dissipate. You hadn’t run away. You hadn’t been so disgusted as to leave just yet. 

“Y/n,” he murmured your name before kissing your temple. “Gods, I missed you.” 

“I would hope so.” You murmured into the curve of his jaw, “I might be a boring bookworm but I’m better company than this place.” 

Azriel winced. “You have no idea.”

You missed the pointed look that Rhys and Feyre threw your way, but Azriel didn’t. He was tall enough to see over your head as Feyre pointed to the door at the end of the hallway, eyes glistening. They had come here for a purpose, and the sooner it was over with, the sooner they could all go home. 

Azriel’s arms tightened around you. “I didn’t want you to come here. I didn’t want… I didn’t want you to see the things I do.” 

“I know.” You traced the curve of his jaw, thumb smoothing over his cheek. “But I’m not afraid, Azriel.” 

His eyes flickered from fear to relief to love, like one of those picture books you had to flip through to see the scene play out. 

“You’re not?” 

You shook your head no. Then you kissed him on the lips and whispered the words for him and him alone. “I trust you. You’re the most terrifying thing here anyway, and you’re mine.” 

Yours. 

Azriel quitel liked the sound of that. 

Even here in the dungeons burrowed beneath empty frozen lands, Azriel found it within him to hope. Horrid creatures might be hidden elsewhere, creeping like slugs under the earth that he’d have to crush beneath his boot or tear treasured secrets from, but for now you were still by his side. For now you were still his and he would always be yours. 

You looped your arm through his and moved towards that door at the end of the hallway, steeling yourself for what you already knew was behind it. 

The light from the barred window flashed warm and cool then warm again. Light warped and pranced. The scent of rot hung in the air, humid and choking. You touched the door handle, feeling the magic fall away like it recognized you and opened up into a makeshift, but quaint bedroom. There were no windows here for there was nothing to see below ground, but some of Feyre’s landscape paintings hung on the wall. Faelights bloomed overhead, throwing light and heat on a child’s bed with green sheets, a table, and a bookcase overflowing with an assortment of puzzles and novels and toys. You felt your blood turn cold. They’d once belonged to Nyx before being repurposed for the little boy trembling on the floor. 

You stared at him in horror. 

The little boy who’d been so violently bright that morning in the marketplace was dull. Although he was wearing fresh clothes, his skin had turned a stone gray, black marks dotting his once silken, silver skin like a disease. He was aware of his condition, weeping on the plush rug cut in the shape of a flower as he batted at his arms, willing them to turn healthy again. 

“No no no no no no,” he sobbed. He grabbed at his pillowy hair in frustration and tugged. A cloud of fragile strands came away and he cried harder, trying to stick them back to his scalp. 

Rhysand’s face was broken and pale. He tried not to look at Andrian. He was too young. Reminded him too much of his own son. 

“You were right.” Rhysand’s voice was hollow, laced with a pain that grabbed your throat and squeezed. “Koschei did kill him. He’s been dead this whole time.”

“NO!” Andrian screamed. “HE DIDN’T! HE PROTECTED ME!” 

Fat tears rolled out of filmy eyes, dusty and brown as pond water. Rage filled him with new energy and he tried to attack your mind as he’d already done with Azriel. But there was something altogether different about your magic, something flexible that morphed and rearranged your mental walls until it felt like he was trying to attack himself. 

He gave up when your walls didn’t fall, and chose the physical route instead. You recoiled as he took a swipe, bony arms reaching out in an awkward lunge. But his legs were too weak and crumpled beneath him. He looked like a fish laid out to rot on a summer day — bloated and slick. 

“Koschei brought him back to life for his powers—”

“HE LOVES ME! PAPA LOVES ME!” 

“To use as he saw fit when the time was right.”

“But he can’t survive being separated for so long from Koschei’s power, can he?” 

Just like Vassa. Left on their own without their maker they couldn’t handle the curses that had been placed on them. They’d bend until they broke… unless they found another way… 

“The killings,” You murmured as the pieces slowly fell into place, “He killed those Librarians and the tailor and the florist…” You didn’t want to be right about this. You prayed to the Mother that you were wrong. 

But Azriel read the thoughts in your eyes and nodded. Feyre could only stand still and Rhysand couldn’t do more than speak out in that dead voice of his. 

Andrian had killed those fae, not just to send a message, but because that was the price for going against nature, for being brought back from the dead. Power demanded balance. To stay alive, Andrian had needed others to take his place. Those Librarians and the Velarians hadn’t been murdered. They’d been sacrificed. 

What Koschei had done to this boy — what he’d turned him into — made you want to crawl into a dark corner and stay there forever. 

Andrian’s sobs died out. A crack of lightning followed by unnerving silence that had Azriel’s blood freezing in his veins. Andrian wasn’t much older than he’d been when he’d first been tossed into that dark cellar. When his brothers had set his hands aflame. 

“He loves me,” he declared, as if saying it would make it true. He stayed curled up in a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth on his heels. “He stayed when Henna left me. He wasn’t afraid of me like the others. He took care of me.”

But Koschei hadn’t taken care of him. He’d taught Andrian to love him. To worship him, because that’s what he craved above all else. He’d helped the boy control his powers and had allowed him to live so he could send him off to die when it was most convenient. You’d thought Henna was Koschei’s perfect soldier, but you were wrong. Andrian was. He’d been broken and molded into something that should never have existed. He’d been sent to Prythian after his sister’s death to take her place. A boy who would have no choice but to return to the lake or die trying. 

And he was dying. You could see it clear as day. Two teeth clinked onto the floor and Andrian’s hands flew up to his mouth. He whimpered, eyes locking on you like you might be able to fix this. 

You wanted to beg Rhys and Feyre to do something, to fix him, but it was a useless endeavor. They wouldn’t have brought you here if they could just reach into Andrian’s mind and end it all peacefully. Andrian was too powerful for that. But you could use another way. 

You approached him like a wild, injured animal, grimacing when he tried to run at you only for his ankle to twist and then snap. He fell to the floor in a pathetic sprawl. 

“Hey there, little feather.” 

Andrian paused at that familiar nickname, watery eyes looking up. You said it just like Henna had once upon a time. The same inflection in a differently pitched voice. His lips trembled. 

“She left me.” 

You shook your head before kneeling on the ground in front of him. He smelled of death. It clung to his linen shirt and trousers. It clung to the few strands of hair still woven into his scalp, skin so thin you could make out his skull. 

“She didn’t leave you, Andrian.” You poured your voice out over him, as soothing as you could make it, forcing the tears down. “She thought you’d died and that you’d stayed dead. She had a little ceremony for you out near the willow tree and buried your favorite toy beneath it with a handful of water lilies. Do you remember it? The little wooden doll you dressed up like a soldier with the red cap and the silver shoes?” 

He clamped his hands over his ears, shaking his head while his weak neck teetered dangerously atop his shoulders. 

“Andrian—” You pulled his hands away and in a bold, dangerous move brought them to your temple and slowly lowered your mental wards. You didn’t give him free reign, but rather guided him through snippets of memories you’d taken from Henna before her death. They all revolved around him. Before, and even after Koschei had poisoned their minds, Andrian had remained her true priority. 

The boy’s eyes flashed from anger to confusion then, finally, to despair.

“She didn’t leave you.” 

Andrian waited a few moments that had your heart seizing, then rushed into your arms, tightening them like a vice around your shoulders and burying his face in your hair. You held your breath, but tightened your grip. You weren’t his sister, but you were the closest thing he had. 

Slowly, like sand falling through an hourglass, you felt his arms weaken and fall from your shoulders. He stared at you, wide and terrified as his hand snapped off at the wrist and fell to your side in a grey heap. 

“Make it stop. Please make it stop.”

You smoothed back his hair, shoving down the tears that threatened to fall. His eyes were white now and unseeing. “It’s ok, little feather. It’s ok.” 

“I don’t—” Even his voice was crumbling apart. Raspy and broken like cracked glass. He had little time left. The fight in him gone. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go to that dark place. Please don’t make me go.”  

Azriel had been watching the entire time, trying not to picture the little boy with dark hair, weak wings, and bandaged hands. He went so, so still. 

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok.” You promised. You forced your trembling lips into a smile. 

He took in a rasping breath. “Will you go with me this time, Henna? Please.” 

You gritted your teeth, brows furrowed in an effort to stay here instead of turning and sprinting back to the surface. 

“I will. That’s why I came” You brushed his hair away from his forehead, saying nothing when the wispy white strands were torn away from his scalp like silk… just like the memories of Koschei’s lake you plucked from his mind without him knowing. You swallowed the pain of what you knew was coming. “I won’t let you be alone.” 

He went quiet after that. Maybe his voice had deteriorated beyond saving, maybe he finally felt at peace. All you knew is that you needed to keep brushing his hair and holding onto his hand when he laid down and placed his head in your lap. He was like a little windup doll that had run out of string. He kept breathing until he finally stopped. 

<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

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Author's Note:

So... this was a rather sad one, bit of a tonal shift if you ask me, but I wanted to wrap up the stuff with Henna and Andrian before we continue on to other things.

BUT, you have to appreciate when Y/n walks into what's effectively a torture chamber and goes "yeah, nope, still in love with Azriel." It's just one of those things that gets brushed under the rug but like... this guy's WHOLE JOB is inflicting pain upon people.... and you know what, it's a fantasy book, so who the hell cares. We stan Y/n being supportive of Azriel's career lol

[moosesarecute]

December 2nd

December masterlist

General masterlist

Azriel punched the training dummy once more. His knuckles were starting to become raw, but he didn’t care. He needed to punch out his feelings.

It was in the middle of the night. He had survived the first day of December, but he couldn’t imagine going through the next ones.

It hurt too much.

Everywhere he looked, he saw you. He saw your favourite café, smelled your favourite coffee or walked past the bookstore where you got all your winter romances. It was like he was repeatedly punched in the face. Everywhere he went, he was reminded that you weren’t there with him.

He had already thrown up a few times only from the empty feeling in his chest where the bond had been blooming. The emptiness always felt much more unbearable during December.

He saw so many happy couples. Not only his brothers and their mates, but also anywhere in Velaris. He saw newly married or mated fae. He saw parents with small children. He saw so much love and he absolutely hated it.

He punched the dummy once more and with such force that it fell over.

“Cassian is coming.” His shadows informed him, but he couldn’t care less.

Azriel picked up the dummy and punched it again, and again, and again.

“Az!” Cassian yelled at him and Az looked annoyed in his direction. “I’ve tried calling your name three times already.”

Azriel didn’t acknowledge his words and only kept punching the dummy. He heard his brother sigh.

“Please, Az. Don’t do this,” Cassian voice sounded almost like he was begging him.

“Don’t do what?” he almost spat back. He didn’t necessarily mean to be that angry towards his brother, but he couldn’t help it.

“Don’t shut us out. We can help you. You’re not alone in this you know. We want to help you.”

The words only made Azriel angrier. They maybe wanted to help him, but they wouldn’t understand. All of them had their mates. They were safe. None of them had failed so extremely at protecting their mate. Failed so miserably within a week of being mated.

He couldn’t save you. You trusted him to protect you, and he couldn’t. He had one job as your mate, and he was too useless to even do that.

The pain still haunted him. The pain in his chest. The missing bond screaming for him to find you and hold you tight for the rest of your life.

But he knew he probably would never hold you again.

He would never smell you or feel how warm you were. He would never see your smile or hear your laugh. He would have to live with the memories and even though it was far from enough, he didn’t have a choice.

Because you were gone.

“Are you okay?” Cassian asked.

Okay? Of course he wasn’t okay. He would never be okay. He had been okay for a week. A wonderful, amazing and completely safe week where you laid in his arms every second of every day. He would never experience that again either.

Azriel felt one of his shadows dry his cheeks and he realized he started crying. He saw Cassian grow more worried, but he couldn’t take it anymore.

Azriel left Cassian standing in the training ring. As he left, he just barely heard Cassian speak.

“We miss you.”

Annette woke up in her bed. If only took her one breath to know that today would be painful.

She carefully lifted herself up from her bed. She made her bed by moved her duvet made of animal fur into place and moved her pillow. Then, she straightened her back and stretched her wings a little. They always felt sore in the morning.

She took one step at the time as she moved into the living room. Her chest was hurting like crazy. It felt like something was trying to pull her heart out of her chest. She took one step and one breath at the time.

She just needed her medicine.

Cathrine would have her medicine.

She turned the corner and walked into the living room. It was still early, but the rest of her family was already up. They stood around a big table that held a map over the entire continent. What they were talking about, Annette never got to know, but sometimes they let her watch the map and that was her favourite thing.

Because of her heart condition, they never let her out of the house. She had to stay warm and inside so that she didn’t get sicker. A sickness on top of her heart condition would kill her.

Annette moved towards the closest chair and slumped into it. She moved her wings to make it as comfortable as possible.

“Annie! What are you doing? You need to wear at least one more sweater!” Cathrine told her. “Bru! Fetch me a blanket for Annie.”

Cathrine crunched down in front of her and tried to warm her by brushing up and down her arms as Bru came and covered her with the blanket.

“Hurts,” was all Annette managed to say.

Cathrines eyes widened a little and she abruptly stood up and found her medicine. The potion tasted awful. Even though she drank it almost every day, it never got easier. It was like her body refused it more and more.

Annette took the potion, and Cathrine helped her back into bed.

“You should rest, little one. A new day will come tomorrow. We’ll make the stew you like so much!” Cathrine tried to lighten the mood while she caressed Annette’s cheeks.

It didn’t take long before Annette was asleep once again.

Dividers by @issysh3ll