#awkward sam

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny commits to the Bit a bit too hard...

So! For the first few weeks after his accident, whenever Danny would try to help the people of Amity Park, he would be treated as a Villain.

No matter if he had just defeated the Big Bad of the Week or saved a Cat from a tree, everybody in town only saw him as a Monster or Villain to he feared and hunted down. Danny was really getting sick of trying to get them on his side, until Sam made a suggestion.

"Why not just...play into it?" She said, barely looking up from painting her nails.

It was just an offhand suggestion, but it stuck with Danny. Why shouldn't he lean into it? The people of Amity Park already saw Ghosts as Evil, and they already assumed he was in cahoots with the Ghosts attacking the town. Why shouldn't he just...play into it?

So he does just that.

From that day on, whenever Phantom was spotted he would dramatically monologue about his Evil Plans, or claim that another Rogues attack on the City was his own act of terror.

Box Ghost destroys the towns Warehouses? It was on his orders.

Ember mind controls masses of Teenagers? All part of his Plans somehow.

Every Adult in Town is kidnapped by Young Blood? Danny gave them over to a friend as a Gift.

He crafts an identity for himself as the most Vile and Horrible Ghost that has ever attacked the City, using his own infamy to cement his legend even more firmly. The town only sees a Monsterous Villain, who has eveded capture near effortlessly for months on end, who constantly attacks their City and gets away with it.

Of course he still needs an excuse for how his plans keep getting stopped, and he gets it when his girlfriend Valerie becomes the Red Huntress. Before that, he just claimed infighting or the Fentons getting lucky, but Valerie becoming the Town's Hero meant he had a plausible excuse for how he kept getting "Foiled".

Val was suspicious, because she was not as involved as Phantom painted her to be, but in the end she had no proof of him faking his defeats. And she couldn't come up with any explanations for why he would do that in the first place. I mean, who would fake being a Supervillain? It had to he something else.

This did come back to bite him a while later, when the Justice League decided that enough was enough, and dispatched Justice League Dark to recruit Red Huntress and help Deal with him.

Coincidentally, that was the same day Pariah Dark attacked the Mortal Realm and sucked Amity Park into the Ghost Zone.

And honestly? Danny had spent over a Year proclaiming himself as a Villain who commanded Ghosts to attack the Human Realm, and he had heard about the Right of Conquest being Absolute in the Ghost Zone, so why not make it official? Why not overthrow the Ghost King, become the Ghost King, and cement his identity as a Villain while also forbidding Ghosts from entering the Human Realm without his permission?

He may have gotten a bit carried away and forgotten that the Villain thing was a disguise...but hey! He was still preventing Ghost Attacks! ...mostly. That's got to count for something right?

He may have let the Bit run a bit too far...

...

Check the tags for more context!

[technically-human]

Oh, Archivist, we're really in it now

[audible301]

There’s a world where Zelda and Mary Ann became friends freshman year.

Theres a world where these two quiet, awkward, nerdy teenage girls with RAGE found each other in a class for traditional barbarians and bonded over their not fitting in.

There’s a world where Mary Ann becomes an ally to the bad kids after Zelda gets kidnapped.

There’s a world where even after Zelda joins the seven she and Mary Ann train together because they just get each other.

There’s a world where they help each other with that instead of both being mentored by Porter.

You cannot look at me for a second and tell me Porter is able to pretend to know how to connect with either of them but goddamn do their strengths and weaknesses compliment each other.

[fox-guardian]

[ID: A digital comic in two images of Samama Khalid and Celia Ripley from The Magnus Protocol on a gray background. Sam is a fat South Asian man with short, curly black hair, and a mustache and small goatee, and he is wearing a turtleneck, a cardigan, black nail polish and small black earrings. Celia is a slim Korean woman with short black hair, and she is wearing a button down shirt, a vest, rectangular glasses, an x-shaped earring, an industrial piercing, and snakebite studs. Sam is colored in solid red, and Celia is colored in solid green.

The first image is three drawings of Sam. The first is of him looking up pleadingly with his hands clasped and his eyes large and sparkly with sparkles around his head saying "Ahem, please?" The second is him holding up two tickets and smiling, saying "Ta-da! These incredibly exclusive, hardly-discounted, barely obstructed theatre tickets?" The last is him holding up the tickets to himself to read them and saying "I don't really know much about it, I just thought-" His eyes are drawn as dots in the last one.

The second image is of Celia smiling down at him with half-lidded eyes and an amused and slightly scheming smile. She is blushing lightly with a thought bubble next to her with partially blocked out text reading "I need to (blank) him and (blank blank) him until he (blank)". The censored parts also contain pink hearts on the black censor bars. end ID]

~~~~

thinkin bout that one bit. i love him <3 celia you need to kiss his silly little face or i will

[the-knife-consumer]

Conditions apply au ttiv shenanigans.

[dazednstars141]

Imagine riding Sam Monroe until he’s whining and his hands are gripping your hips so tightly. His mascara and eyeliner running as he moans and groans about how tight and hot you are. His hands quickly clutching the blankets as you move even faster and harder, your hands holding his chest down.

he just looks so good

[dontyoulistentome]

'I hear they have good...sausages?'

'I'm vegetarian'.

By far, the worst workplace flirting attempt ever witnessed by man. One dead, all injured.

[kizzer55555]

Ultimate Escape Room

Sam, Danny, and Tucker are bored. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore. Summer vacation is coming up but they can’t agree on anything . Themepark? What’s a better roller coaster than Jack driving? Scary movie? I’m sorry, nothing beats Fright Knight’s nightmare realm. Bungie jumping? Danny can fly. Then Tucker, who’s been typing on his computer, asks “what about an escape room?”. The others are about to shut the idea down because seriously? Easy. But Tucker just grins and shows them his computer screen.

“Ever heard of Arkham?”

Danny and Sam lean over to read the description and all three turn to each other and grin. 

Now, what’s the fastest way to get into Arkham?

…

So the chaos trio do ✨something✨ that gets them locked up in Arkham and then try to escape and they keep. You know, normal stuff for Arkham inmates. Except this trio? Keep. Getting. Out. Of. Their. Cells. So they are just passing by locked up rogues and waving at them as an army of prison guards chase after them. Sure they could get out the easy way (Aka powers) but no, this is a challenge so they have the normal rules of an escape room. Aka, you can’t break anything and an extra rule where if a guard catches you, then you can’t fight back (also, no one can get hurt). (They make fake identities and everything). So they need to go through the whole process. Figure out how to unlock cuffs. Could be learning to pick a lock with a spoon/stick/long nails. Then find the keys. Possibly having to crawl through vents to get in the warden’s office. Or making deals with prison inmates. Like, I’ll get this for you if you give me that (however they extract a promise that the rogue can’t kill anyone with whatever they help them with.) So they are in prison literally doing errands like find freeze’s weapons in exchange for him telling them the passcode to the gate or something. Or getting Waylon some meat from the cafeteria and he’ll break the lock on this movable vault that has materials to make smoke bombs they can use to distract the front guards. 

These kids are just going wild and it gets to the point where Arkham has to call the bats (like no Waylon, we won’t escape with you, we have to do it without breaking any walls!) So literally the only reason they are not escaping is because they want to do it ‘right’. But they are also aiding other rogues in their escape (at least certain ones. They aren’t helping joker no matter what he offers)

It’s driving the bats mad. They have vigilantes stationed in each hall, in multiple monitor rooms.

They aren’t even using anything clever to block the cameras. They’re using mirrors. Mirrors! Where did they even get so many handheld mirrors! 

They are running circles around the bats. The escaped rogues literally aren’t doing anything yet because they want to see how the three hellions will escape the entire bat clan. They have bets going. So there is a temporary truce.

Just imagine the conversations/interrogations the bats will have with trio, trying to figure out their master plan - because surely there's something more going on than three chaos young adults playing a game, right?

They trio each have a different story. And they are so passionate/convincing actors that no one knows which story is real. At least one of them told a sob story with legitimate tears.

Danny: (all mysterious) You shall never know our master plan….until it is too late. And just casually dropping hints that there is something greater or that the bats are playing right into their hands. Even using ridiculous scenarios like yesss the ketchup explosion in the cafeteria….We are one step further….Mwa ha ha! (Rubs his hands together)

Sam: (absolutely distraught with literal tears running down her face and ruining her mascara.) There is a terrible organization holding their parents hostage. They had been framed and forced to be in Arkham. If they don’t do exactly as they are told, their loved ones are in danger! Should we stay? Should we escape and help them!? No one will believe us and what if we make things worse? We don’t know what to do!

Tucker: (takes a long slurp of a smoothie. Where he got one? No one knows). Yeah we were bored and had nothing better to do than mess with you guys. (Sluuuuurp).

The bats are trying to figure it out. Is the black haired guy telling the truth and the other two are just manipulating them? Is it the girl and the others are only following the plot of the organization? IS THE BARET KID RIGHT AND THEY’RE JUST MESSING WITH US!? WHICH STORY IS IT!?

Under normal circumstances, Sam wouldn’t give a sob story because It’s not really her vibe. But Sam has the opportunity to pull one over on a bat. Do you honestly think she won’t take a chance to mess with them? Also, Dick is the one who is interrogating Sam.

He’s crying too by the end of the story.

Poor guy, Sam will play his heart like a fiddle. 

Also, their fake identities are Jordan for Danny. Mortica for Sam (or Macey for short) and Phineas for Tucker. The fact that they are using fake identities is the only thing they all agree on in the interview. But the bats find nothing on them and the identities are so realistic they wonder if they are even fake at all. If the three are faking fake IDs to throw them off their tail from looking deeper. Apparently their ‘parents’ having a missing persons report.

Damian is interrogating Danny. It’s just so easy to rile him up and get under his skin. It’s absolute drama in that interrogation room. 

Danny: ah yessss. Master plan.

Damian: you shall never succeed! Justice shall prevail evil scum!

And Duke is interrogating Tucker. He just…has no idea how to respond to this. He wasn’t trained for this response. Hostile, yes. Mysterious, yes. Scared, yes. Civilian, yes. Even Flirtatious! YES! But not…this. What does he do? should he take out his note cards?

Also, I’m adding a mix of home alone elements to this. They have to get past the bats somehow and it can’t be lethal. Poor Jason and Steph who are patrolling the halls fall victim to most of this.

At one point, both of them are tied up together and hanging from the ceiling. While the trio just casually walk by under them. 

It’s dental floss. Really strong dental floss.

Then the bats start taking sides. 

Jason? once he hears Sam's story, he's immediately willing to help her. He and Dick are searching for that missing person's report almost religiously.

Tim believes Danny's story. part of it is because it makes the most sense, and the other part is that he's slightly biased from becoming an evil megalomaniac in every timeline he's seen so he's subconsciously trying to stop that from happening here.

Cass believes Tucker because come on, it's Cass.

Steph is siding with Tim because her father was cluemaster so same reasons.

Bruce is trying to fact check all of them and is failing desperately.

Sam added some ‘clues’ in her interrogation and basically threw the GIW under the bus as the organization. So the bats do find a shady organization but so far no missing persons so the other bats still don’t know if what Sam is saying is true or not while Dick takes this as absolute proof and Jason feels like it doesn’t matter if she’s telling the truth at this point. It’s a corrupt organization. So he’ll still blow it up.

I think in this AU, the GIW isn’t a threat and more of an annoyance so Sam just plays them up as even worse. Like, she doesn’t say anything untrue just makes it sound worse out of context. Oh yeah, they opened fire on this random kid. (Gregory when they thought he was phantom) Oh yes, they have destroyed Danny’s house at one point. (The prank war with Vlad) Yes, the have an unhealthy obsession with dissecting people. (Even though they are too incompetent to actually catch anyone).

So again, they don’t know if Sam is telling the truth of the organization or they just used this random organization to draw their attention away from the three’s plans (as Danny implied). Possibly an enemy organization or a competitor.

I know everyone makes the GIW a big threat but I decided to change it up. They aren’t a threat but still get obliterated by a pissed off Red Hood and Nightwing.

And that’s  another reason why Sam gives the sob story. Danny and Tucker are great but they wouldn’t actually sick a crime lord on the GIW. Sam? Absolutely would. She does not care what happens to them. They tore up her garden one time with a stray shot. She wants revenge. And sure, she didn’t actually know what would happen to them after the bats find out but she still doesn’t care.

And through all of this, the rogues are sitting back and eating popcorn while Joker screams bloody murder from his cell. 

[statement-continues]

Celia: I would like for it to happen again, it was fun 🥰

Sam: *computer restart noises* I- uh-

Celia: anyway the horrors

Sam: RIGHT! The horrorrrrs ...

[meowdyjac]

After obsessively watching every single Sam and Max media, I’ve made some headcanons. (Alt has dialogue if you can’t read the writing >x<”)

This is based on all of the dialogue from the games that insinuated that Sam has a pretty bad love life and Max instigates him to date more knowing it will fail. Max has definitely been Sam’s new years kiss for at least 7 years. (Sam is in love with Max, but doesn’t realize it)

He actually did do those things after snapping that pic. (He’s gonna show Sam later when the 4th album is finished)

[riz-em-up-gukgak]

Translation: Tabby’s not gonna be able to see/watch Evan and I make out and do other things, is he?

[basilbots]

Favorite Lunar and Sun dynamic is when Lunar can see right through Sun’s mask and casually clocks what is really up with him, and Sun who is used to Moon’s emotional obliviousness is just spooked “Ha ha didn’t like that”

[starheirxero]

I ACCIDENTALLY SPENT SO MUCH TIME ON THIS BUT WHATEVSIES LMAO. take ibuprofen with them ^_^

bonus versions under the cut 👇

Version with the cape I usually like to give Lunar!!! + without the text and effects bc DAMN I spent a while on all of that LMAO

[emotinalsupportturtle]

Love this site because I can just come here and say “remember when Sam Campbell and Julian Clary first met on taskmaster? One of my favourite all time moments of tv” and someone will agree with me (or at least know what I’m talking about)

[spirit-lanterns]

Can I ask which of the Star Rail women would scoop you up by putting their hands under your arms and lifting you up like a cat?

(My inner desire to be a catgirl comes out oncr again)

Topaz, Serval, Sparkle, Stelle, Ruan Mei and Sam seem like the type of women to cat scoop you until your body is stretched out like a looooooong cat.

Especially Sam, as Firefly in her mecha suit has a habit of scooping you up by the armpits and moving you somewhere safer like a cat being moved to a different room. Afterwards, Sam would set you down, give you a headpat, and go back to obliterating enemies like nothing 💕

Also Ruan Mei only scoops you up like a cat, because in my eyes, she doesn’t know how to pick up her gf properly, so she just scoops them up by the armpits and holds them out as far as her arms can go.

[joemerl]

A Summary of Guards! Guards!

Carrot: I'm arresting you for doing crimes!

Everyone in Ankh-Morpork:

(later)

Carrot: I arrested people for doing crimes!

Vimes, Colon and Nobby:

Also, there's a dragon.