#awfully horribly bad troll

[rubra-wav]

I had this interesting scenario where Vox one day becomes exhausted from his rivalry with Alastor after realizing that the one-sided interactions were becoming old. He later meets the reader (who can also be a part of the hotel) who starts hacking into Voxtech's database to troll the company for shits and giggles. This catches Vox's attention and he's pissed about it. You can do what you want for the rest but they continue to have this rivalry to the point where it's very well known around hell. From an outside perspective, there is just back-and-forth angry banter but there are moments where they're just;

Reader: *appears on screen* Hey Box head, guess who found some good blackmail with your name on it- Vox: *Is so close to having a breakdown, he had a bad week.* Reader: Oh shit- did something happen, are you okay? 😰

They hate each other but they don't hate hate each other. This can be taken as platonic or romantic. I sent this request to someone else but I wanted to share anyway.

Vox x troll/hacker reader: Why So Blue? (Oneshot/concept version)

Why So Blue fic Masterlist

A/N me when I get to write Vox getting utterly humiliated by a troll-y hacker demon 🫶

I changed about the order of stuff as things happen a bit and took creative liberties with this one - sorry if it's really different then the thought you originally had.

(REQUESTS ARE CLOSED, THIS WAS FROM THE LAST TIME THEY WERE OPEN)

Update: This was really well-received, and several people have requested a part 2. I've decided that I will be writing it properly from the start in a proper chapter kind of way rather than in this format so it makes continuity kind of work better rather then the drabbl-y format used here.

Cw: SFW, romantic, enemy's to lovers type beat, references to one-sided radiostatic, also references to staticmoth, mildly suggestive in one part 💀, gn reader, mostly light-hearted - idk if it qualifies as quite hurt/comfort lmao

- It was just a normal morning for Vox when you first showed up.

- As usual, he booted up for the day, got changed out of his casual clothes, and made his morning coffee.

- As he walked into his computer room, absentmindedly sipping his coffee while looking at his phone, he sits down in his desk.

- Then promptly spits out his mouthful.

- When he finally looks up at the screens around him, he's mortified to see a muted video of himself passionately (and very drunkly) singing and dancing horribly from last night while he was out with Valentino and Velvette.

- Posted on Sinstagram from his own account.

- Hundreds of comments flooded in underneath it; laughing, saying it's cute, complimenting his singing, and talking about the caption underneath with curiosity.

- The caption reads; 'For someone who talks so big about being ahead technologically, it was awfully easy to hack old Boxy here LMAO'

- Vox flips out instantly.

- It doesn't take long to take down the post, change all of his details, and post an official apology for his lack of professionalism with a hypnotising message to forget the whole incident occurred at all. He also does a massive comb over for any other breaches and changes all of his systems to be even more impenetrable to a potional attack.

- He calms down, and the incident fades away to the back of his mind.

- But then it happens again.

- Another morning, an employee is rushing into his studio as he wakes up properly, telling him this time that someone is somehow broadcasting Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' to the entirety of hell at 6 am, interrupting every one of the scheduled programs.

- There's a message in big letters on the bottom of every screen in hell, under the god forsaken video and song playing, saying, "What is love~? - U" Underneath them.

- And that's how it starts, the infuriating thorn in Vox's side that is 'U'. No matter how hard he tries, you're constantly undermining his efforts to keep you out of the system and tormenting him in ways that aren't necessarily malignant but are extremely damaging to his image as the overlord of technology.

- For some reason, he's the only Vee you seem hellbent on coming after as well. Vel finds your pranks funny or cute when they don't inconvenience her, and Valentino just likes to prod Vox into getting angrier further.

- He just cannot work out what your motivations are at all. Is it truly that you just want to piss him off? He doesn't understand why someone with such clear skills would simply use them to taunt him and leave him messages to unveil as he undoes whatever you do.

- It vexes him even farther when these messages from you that you leave for him to decode start to sound borderline flirtatious, which makes him feel all the more humiliated.

- He is a grown demon, skilled businessman and entrepreneur, an overlord, and yet you insist upon calling him things like Box, Boxbabe, Boxbitch, and even babygirl of all things for some goddamn reason.

- The back and forth goes on for months, and 'U' quickly becomes a long lasting meme, several people, much to Vox's horror, shipping you two together and even partaking in ship wars as to whether Vox x 'U' is better then Vox x Val.

- Theres one day where Vox quickly puts his phone down after reading a rather concerning expert from what is certainly explicit fanfiction between the two of you, even him deciding that that's enough internet for today while just sitting staring off into space silently for a solid 10 seconds.

- Vox's sleepless nights pouring over his code to try and keep out your attacks, him glitching out whenever he finds infuriating messages left by you, etc. Begin to become routine and he just anticipates the consistent blows to his pride you give him at every turn.

- A weird, unconscious part of him deep down begins to enjoy your rivalry, almost wanting to see what punches you pull out next to disarm his constant losing battle to keep you out, but it gets squashed down the second he becomes aware of it.

- The rivalry is always at arms length, but sometimes he has to stop himself from replying with the same vaguely flirtatious tone you take on whenever he experiences a small win against you.

- He fights to make sure he doesn't have any potential of getting too into it.

- Things take a different turn, though, with the double blow of Alastor coming back and his on-off relationship with Valentino once again going up in flames.

- After stopping his usual monitoring of all things going on in hell online and in real life as picked up by his cameras, he presses his face into his hands with a long, exhausted groan as he fights crying.

- All the people he was actually interested in were as unrequited as per usual. He always tried so hard with Alastor, but as always, he never got anything but met with the clear reminder they would never be anything more.

- And, of course, any potential of anything more happening with Val was completely off the table. It would be stupid to even think about anything real with him.

- He shut his eyes, putting his screen on the desk in front of him.

- Was he just not worth it? Was that it?

- He startled when he heard the familiar crackle of the speakers coming to life around him. It was rare he ever heard your voice coming through his speakers, you usually preferring to just leave messages, however you decided to surprise him tonight apparently.

- Your blurred out face appears on the screens, only showing the lower half of your grinning face.

- "Oh Boooooxybooooy! I found some world-shattering cringey shit you did 2 months back, i-" You begin singing out, before stopping, seeing by his expression.

- Vox was trembling, looking as if he was about fall apart at any second. His monitor was dulled, red eyes half lidded with pixelated bags forming under them, his bottom lip slightly quivering around his sharp teeth.

- "What the- fuck- ....are you alright?" You asked unsurely.

- Vox finally snapped out of it, realising that you were here witnessing him in a way that was very much not something he wanted you of all people to see him in. His mask slid back on, but it was hardly convincing.

- "Of course it is. What the fuck do you wa-ant. I've got shit to do." He inwardly cursed as his voice glitched slightly. God fucking dammit why did you have to show up.

- He watched your lips on your mostly blurred out face slightly curl as you hummed, clearly not buying it.

- "You wanna stop with the lying bullshit and tell me the truth, Boxhead?" You somewhat chided him, your hand coming into sight as you leaned your cheek onto it. Vox let out a growling sound, going to spit some vitriol at you, but was cut off as you absentmindedly made your next comment.

"Felt you once again have a fit about the radio demon going online. Lights in my house and the houses out my windows started flashing and shit. Is it hi-" your brows shot up and eyes widened, this hidden behind the censorship as you watched Vox, leader of the Vees, your rival, let out a shuddering breath and actually start crying comically pixilated tears right before your eyes.

- Vox's claws gripped into his desk as he grit his teeth as he let out a gasping breath he fought to stifle. He was so goddamn exhausted that he just couldn't be assed to keep it all up anymore. It wasn't like you hadn't seen rather unsavoury things he'd been trying to hide anyways.

- "No shit it's about Alastor. It's always about him. Does it get you off knowing I can't get with the guy I have always wanted no matter how hard I try? There. Are you fucking happy now?" His voice cracks as he snarls the words out at you.

- You let out a long humming sound, as if thinking. "I mean, not really. I'd only be happy if you were this upset over me, not some old hazbin radio announcer who fell off years ago." You shrug with a slightly sad smile.

- Vox squinted at you, confused.

- "I mean, come on, I'm your rival too. Why neglect me so much in all this?" You press your bottom lip out in mock sadness, tone mocking again. Your words are true despite the joking tone however, it did bother you that he always seemed so much more ready to go running after the most obviously aroace man you think you had seen in your entire fucking life.

- Vox couldn't believe what he was hearing, hot embarrassment caused his monitor to start heating up a bit, painting animated flush over his cheeks. "Oh, stop taking the piss, U. Fuck off." He scoffed, rolling his eyes, looking to the side in irritation.

- You chuckle at him, shaking your head and causing the thing blurring your face to shake with it. "Is it really that hard to believe I'm into what we have going on here?" Your voice is still lined with the usual tone you take on with him, but much less so.

- Vox looks back at your blurred, smiling face incredulously. "Yes." He growled, blinking his tears away as he regained his composure a bit.

- You sigh heavily, rolling your eyes. "Ooookay, well, once you're done riding the coattails of a man who will never want you, come hit me up, Boxhead." You say through smiling lips, before abruptly pressing 'hang up' on the call so he didn't have time to actually respond.

- Vox sat in bewildered silence, not able to react properly as his brain felt as if it was working on low resolution comprehending what you just said.

- His face heated up the more he thought about it, heart beginning to hammer in his chest as he laughed in disbelief. No way. No fucking way.

- But you had said it.

- Despite his usual pessimistic nature, he allowed himself to actually believe it, chuckling.

- He looked over to his phone as a notification sound rang out to see a photo of himself presumably just now; flustered, eyes wide in disbelief and unfocused while staring off into space, a crooked grin on his face.

- It was captioned as follows; 'POV: local pathetic radio simp finds out other rival actually wants him'

- "FUCK." He yelled out in embarrassment, knocking out several of his monitors with a surge of electricity.

I loved writing this sm omfggg.

There's definitely part 2 potential to this one, but it would have to be in a while w all the other stuff I'm gonna get to first.

Masterlist

[littlespyeye]

She honestly makes me so mad. As someone who was “going to be” a mother she’s awfully silent right now in regards to the latest m*ss sh**ting here in America (we’re comical at this point that it keeps happening it sickens me beyond belief) but if she really does troll and read these posts I’d like to call her out. She’s sooooo quick to preach about how horrible s*x trafficking is to our young children (which it is. That’s not what I’m saying at all. It is horrendous and we do need to do more to protect them) but she’s fucking silent right now about these poor little babies, these children who are in more danger daily to lose their lives from g*n violence, that actually just lost their lives because it might infringe on her precious fucking g*n rights. I hate her and it’s really starting to rub off onto C for me.

You and me both, nonny but she already posted about it even before I posted this ask so if it's true she already was picked by an agency they probably pushed her to post something about it to look nicer (which we know she's not).

I gotta be honest here and say that I'm getting totally fed up with her and Casey just the same. I've always said it but silence is louder than words and he's been super quiet about all the disgusting statements she makes so it's hard no to see him under the same light.

I'm slowly but steadily losing interest in them both as much as she losing followers so... I only hope someone can slap some common sense on that man cause he's damaging his image beyond repair and his talent and career are gonna suffer thanks to her and his bad decisions

[maddiviner]

In most cases where I’ve interacted with LoA devotees, it doesn’t “skirt close” to victim blaming, but involves it pretty directly! A lot of these folks will do almost anything to avoid addressing the cognitive dissonance of the Just World Fallacy, even if it means saying something objectively untrue and downright horrible.

The emphasis on “thoughts cause everything so it’s all your fault” particularly endangers younger people who might be struggling with depression, anxiety, and the ensuing intrusive thoughts.

Suppose you’re young, spiritual, but maybe not knowledgeable yet. YouTube convinces you that not only are you to blame for any depression or anxiety you experience (for being low vibrational!) but also that your intrusive (mostly negative) thoughts are attracting more bad stuff! I think you can see why that would quickly snowball and turn into a mess.

Most LoA adherents don’t know what an “intrusive thought” is, or how mental illness actually works, though. Most don’t care.

One of my favorite LoA experiences, though, was when a couple very New Age “Wiccans” on Facebook tried to warn my boss that I was a “Satanic witch” because I told them (in comments on a post) that I didn’t believe in the LoA or the Threefold Law. The “Wiccan High Priestess” who found this terribly offensive and called me a “dark, lost soul” was going on about how she was descended from someone who was burned at the stake, etc, the usual, she had a two-hundred-year-old “Book of Shadows” that explained the true LoA, on and on...

Yeah, I got really sarcastic after that. I said something about how her ancestor must’ve been awfully naughty to have attracted something as horrible as being immolated! I think I said something like, “I’m so sorry your ancestors were so low vibrational as to have attracted that!” At that point she started trying to PM people on my friend’s list? Or at least my boss and one other person. My boss at the time didn’t ever see or respond to the message and would’ve probably thought they were a troll, anyways, but it was kind of funny either way.

Also wanna note here that the word “manifesting” gets used in a lot of different contexts, and it alone doesn’t imply a situation involves LoA-style nonsense - some people just use that word to mean “hey, my spell works.” I also wanna say that the “Law of Attraction” isn’t the same as sympathetic magic. I do believe in using correspondences and symbolism in spellwork (obviously).

There’s a big difference between “this plant symbolizes Love, I will use it to bring myself closer to Aphrodite and get a girlfriend” and “If I think good thoughts about how I’m a great person who deserves the hottest wife ever, the Universe will deliver.” I don’t know if I’m explaining that distinction well - it’s late at night here, but I wanted to add that.

It’s, at base, an issue of metaphysics versus morality. Sympathetic magic tells you that you can influence outcomes based on the connections between concepts/forces - tugging on the web of fate, you might say. The LoA tells you that you achieve good outcomes simply by being virtuous, positive, and above all, deserving 🙄.

It's so much worse than some folks think.

[awfullyhorriblybadfantrolls]

link if the image doesn’t appear

So this is my new OC! She’s supposed to be for this thingie I’m making called RonpaStuck! It’s basically a crossover with OC’s!

{SO im an idiot and didn’t read the tags first and thought this was a review request and was absolutely horrified!!}

Some basic info:

Name: Dokuso Hazado

Age: 16 years {s w e e p s p l e a s e}

Blood: Green {ok girl what shade}

Username: DespairKitty {nope. what is up with people not understanding format}

Weapon: Clawkind {sigh}

Dreamself: Derse

Godtier: Seer of Hope

Typing Style: …You…Tend…To…Be…Quiet… 

Hope or Despair?: Despair

Allies: Karkat, Nepata, Nagito, Kyouko, Aranea, Monokuma, Junko

Enemies: Vriska, Equius, Peko, Toko, Celestia, Meenah

{stop with these got dam cannon relationships, i swear i will TURN THIS CAR AROUND}

Personality: Is usually sweet and caring towards everyone, always telling everyone to stop fighting and get along. However, she has a dark side to her personality. She secrety loves the feeling of despair and is wiling to hurt herself and others to get that “high”, betraying her friends in the process. SHe has a habit of double-crossing everyone she meets, usually in the name of money or despair. she has a bit of an addictive personality, getting obsessed with anything she gets her hands on. So far, she has been addicted to sweets, sopor slime, gambling, pain, video games, and spending money. In her downtime, she enjoys scrolling thriugh social media while sipping faygo.

{Oh god, so she’s one of these mary sues. You aren’t special}

Backstory: Dokuso was born under mysterious circumstances. Rumours are that she was created from a ritualistic sacrifice under a full moon in a failed attempt to bring forth a great evil. However, these are just rumours and nobody eally knows her true story. For as long as she could remember, she had always been alone, the others not wanting to have anything to do with her for reasons unknown. She was always sad, but covered it up with a smile. Things went on like that until she met Junko. Junko taught her the meaning of despair and soon Dokuso found herself enjoying it more than anything she ever felt. So she joined the SHSL Despairs and became their top double agent. when Junko decided to mastermind the killing games, Dokuso volunteered to enter as a spy. Junko agreed and sent her to find some participants. After searching through multiple worlds, she came upon a weird alien species calling themselves ‘trolls’. She was intrigued, they were so much like her. They seemed to trigger some subconcious memories and that facinated her. So she gathered some trolls she managed to sweet talk into playing and got ready for the killings to begin….

{Excuse me, what did I just read. This isnt how ANY of this works}

Quotes: …I…Don’t…Believe…It’s…Wise…To…Anger…Me…

Extra: She might be related to Nagito (Perhaps it might have something to do with her hair color?) {im exhausted} Headconon voice for her is Aoi Yuki (Madoka from PMMM) Theme song is DESPAIR by MissPavalova (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy4fN9pMKPA)

{I feel like i’ve been away from this blog for too long because I feel like every bad troll is the worst ive ever seen. Thank you for sharing.}

[rockingrobin69]

Third time’s the charm

They only got out of that horrible place late afternoon, which left Harry pacing most of the day, giddy with terrified excitement. Scorpius was tired when they finally arrived, yawning into Draco’s neck, but after a short look around the house he came alive, pulling Draco’s hand to go this way or no, that way!

He had so many questions about everything: why is there a Troll leg in the hallway? Who is that person in the photo? And that one? He kept looking at Harry, polite little Mr. Potters that were an exact copy of how Draco said it. Before Harry even had the chance to get used to the concept of them, here, to all the noise and the blond hair and the warmth, it was evening, and they retired to the kitchen. Scorpius insisted to be seated in the middle.

“Eat your dinner, love,” Draco tucked the apron around him.

“I don’t like dinner,” was the immediate response. “Dinner is yuck.”

It felt bad to be laughing when Draco looked so miserable, rubbing his eyes. “But. You love mince and carrots.”

“Yuck,” Scorpius argued. His arms crossed over his chest, pout at the ready.

“Darling,” Draco intoned.

“Yuck.”

“I don’t…” his eyes were red when the hand finally came down. “I’m sorry, Potter. Usually he’s much better. Not so awfully picky, normally, are you, love?”

“No,” Scorpius agreed good-naturedly. “Daddy, what are you eating?”

“I’m having the same, dearest. This nice food Mr. Potter was kind enough to prepare for us.”

“Your daddy said you liked it,” Harry apologised. Draco seemed like he wanted to throw himself in the sink.

“He does, normally. I’m so sorry. You went through all this trouble…”

“No, no, it was nothing. I can—"

Scorpius hummed. “Mr. Potter, what are you eating?”

“Just the same. Mince and tatties and carrots. Very yummy.”

He took a moment to consider the new information. “Mr. Potter, is that your favourite?”

Movement in the corner of his eye—Draco was nodding above Scorpius’s head. He was so impossibly serious, Harry nearly laughed again.

“Yeah, absolutely. My favourite.”

Scorpius looked pensive. “Maybe—maybe it’s my favourite, too.”

“Hmm. Tell you what, if you really wanted it, then maybe—just maybe—I’ll let you have a bit off my plate.”

Draco made this weird, raspy noise that wasn’t a gasp and wasn’t a giggle. “Merlin, you’re good,” Harry thought he heard him mumble. Beside him, Scorpius was nodding.

“What do we say?”

“Thank you, Mr. Potter,” he chanted as Harry ladled some mince into a new bowl.

“You’re very welcome. And you can call me Harry.”

“Harry.”

He’s been thinking about it all day. Hearing Scorpius say his name in that natural tone was entirely joyful and a little bit alien. Harry already couldn’t wait to hear it again.

Draco seemed pleased too, in the way he was smiling into his fist. “Good. Well. Eat, menace, before it gets cold.”

But Scorpius had more important things on his mind. “Harry, do you like reading books?”

“Er. Sure. I think.”

“Me too. I reeeally like reading books.”

Draco’s eyes rolled to the ceiling. “Enough stalling, Scorp. Eat your dinner.”

“I don’t like dinner. Dinner is yuck.”

“Oh, for Goodness—”

He was starting to pout again, and Harry, very valiantly, in his opinion at least, jumped in. “So what, er, what books do you like best?”

“I really like the one about the fire engines,” he said, grey eyes—just like Draco’s—open wide. “But my favourite is llama llama red pyjama.”

“Ask him why,” Draco advised, face still turned upwards.

“Er—why do you like that one?”

“Because I have red pyjamas!” Scorpius yelled happily. “And daddy says I can be a llama too!”

“But only if you eat your food,” Draco sighed, and Scorpius giggled. “Llamas are very well known for being good boys who eat all their carrots.”

“That’s not true,” Scorpius said in feigned shock with a big-big smile. “Daddy, that’s not true!”

“Okay, fine, maybe not well known for it. Still, darling. You need to finish here, so that you can go to bed and me and Mr. Po—and Harry, can have, er. Can talk about maybe staying here for a little longer.”

“Really?” it was hard to swallow, seeing how bright those grey eyes could sparkle. “We can stay here?”

“Of course you can,” Harry choked, same time as Draco said, “Only if you eat your dinner.”

Scorpius looked between them, eyebrows scrunched, evidently deep in thought. Then picked up his fork, and managed to pierce half a piece of carrot. On his other side Draco shook his head, then looked right at Harry, first time all day.

“Thank you,” he mouthed as Scorpius shoveled mince into his mouth.

Harry didn’t know how to say I should be thanking you and I can’t believe you’re trusting me enough for this and I’m already in love with you both. So instead he closed his eyes and imagined he could have this every night.

“Done!”

“Scorp, there’s still half… you know what, fine. We’ll keep it for later. Let’s get you in the tub?”

“And then Harry can read llama llama with me?”

He opened his eyes on a laugh, heart so tight it couldn’t possibly contain the exasperated look on Draco’s face, or the excited smile on Scorpius’s. “Yes.” yes, yes, yes.

For the lovely @ladderofyears, 900 words. You can prompt me too!    

[sheryl-lee]

You have a lot of opinions for a 18 yr old with no life experience fyi. Just saying, btw who gives a shit if you are bi? Why do you idiots include this in your bio? Antisemite

you know what, i really wasn't going to answer this and i was going to just block you bc normally i simply do not have the time to give trolls like you the satisfaction of a response,,,, BUT i was already having a pretty bad day/week and honestly? you deserve to be told to go. fuck. yourself.

first off - you know nothing about me and assumed i have "no life experience" purely because i am 18 years old. which means nothing. you can be 18 and have multiple jobs, attend college, live on your own and be self-reliant. you know nothing about me, my home life or background, and simply assumed that i have “no life experience” which is honestly an incredibly ignorant perspective to have, fyi. 

and apparently my age also means i am not allowed to have opinions or (gasp!) express those opinions on (*squints*) MY OWN BLOG! so when, exactly, do human beings start having/are “allowed” to start having opinions according to you? because if an 18 year old having individuality and agency in 2022 is groundbreaking to you,,,,, you really should go out more???? people like you who assume age is some kind of indicator of emotional/mental intelligence, maturity and agency just contribute to the problem. 

secondly - who gives a shit if i'm bi? probably no one. but i give a shit about my own identity for reasons that you think i wouldn't have to spell out but you're such a fucking asshole who apparently believes they have somehow earned the right to police people's blogs AND send asks like these for... fun ig? because you have nothing better to do? and btw sending shit like this comes off as incredibly LGBTQ-phobic, but i'm assuming that you don't care bc you genuinely seem like an abhorently bigoted pos

thirdly - why do "idiots" like me include warnings that you shouldn't follow me if you are "lgbtq-phobic, racist, sexist, islamophobic, pro-life/anti-abortion, antisemitic, pro-cop, a trump supporter, a terf/swerf, an antivaxxer, etc (basically if you’re just an awful bigoted person)" ? maybe to stave off idiots like you from following/interacting with me and others who , unlike you, are not awfully bigoted people????

i truly do not comprehend why people like you are so horrible that you feel the need to send unnecessary hate like this instead of, perhaps, going outside, touching grass, and maybe looking in the mirror and pondering why you feel the need to attack strangers on the internet. bc someone like me - who is, according to you, an 18 year old idiot with no life experience - has the common decency to avoid sending anon hate and is aware of the fact that you never know what someone is going through, mentally and physically and emotionally, and that messages like these from people they do not even KNOW can be enough to truly hurt someone and do real damage.

i truly was not going to answer this at all but i am putting it out there so people can understand that sending shit like this is NEVER OKAY. i don't give a fuck what you think about me, or who you are. there is an unfollow/block button for a reason. no one compelled you to send this ask - it was entirely your decision and you did it. but maybe take a step back and consider the fact that you're senselessly hurling insults at someone for.... being themselves? for existing? for having a blog and... having opinions? if you think the internet exists just for you and you alone, then that truly sounds like a you problem.

maybe i’m just being an idiot like you say i am, but idk when i have a bad day i don’t take it out on people, particularly people younger than me, particularly strangers on the internet and particularly when it’s a blatant attack on their sexuality. maybe you should think long and hard about what that says about you before you go around senselessly judging other people who do not know or frankly, care about you and your opinions. i may only be 18, but i am respectful of other human beings, which is evidently more than you can say. i try to be empathetic and i try to go above and beyond the BARE MINIMUM of human decency, which is also more than you can say. and furthermore, i’m proud of who i am after years of self-doubt and i refuse to let someone small and insignificant like you hurt me, especially when it is a completely unwarranted attack and i’m just one of many users on here that you decided simply couldn’t exist without reading your completely backwards assessment of a person based solely on their identity.

so yeah. go fuck yourself.

[red-the-dragon-writes]

Treasure Hunting

Context: I agreed to write a few "explores" for an art game I play on DeviantArt, Fields of Valhalla. Doe is an intrepid treasure-hunting deer who has recently figured out how to break into dragons' homes and rob them blind go looking for treasure in dragons' lairs. There wound up being several thousand words of this, and three separate stories. As well as an art piece!

Listed here are three stories in one series.

Doe delicately stepped into the cave and ducked her head to avoid banging it on the ceiling. This close she could already tell that there was a dragon in here. Or, something, at the very least- but she figured it was most likely a dragon. She’d never seen a troll leave deep scratches in the wall and carve a fireplace out in the same space, at the very least, and trolls usually at least bothered with doors. And didn’t live in caves. No, this was definitely a dragon lair.

She’d come to see if she could steal away with an egg. It’d make for a spectacular prize, for sure; and to be honest she mostly just wanted to see if she could find one. What bragging rights that would make for; how fitting it would be. After all, if anyone were to return triumphant with a dragon egg from a trip, it should be her.

She made her quiet way into the darkness of the recessed cave and marveled at how neatly laid out it was. She hadn’t been in terribly many dragon caves before, but enough to know that most of their hidey-holes were kind of a… mess, really. Muddy or dirty, full of dust, for sure. Treasures scattered about on the ground, ripe for the taking, as though they were just haphazardly dropped trash and not spectacular jewels or pieces of gold. They were kind of sloppy. Doe always thought that it seemed kind of like a shame, that they kept their lairs in such disrepair, but it really wasn’t her problem at the end of the day. And the mess made it easier to slip a handful of precious treasures into her sack and be on her way, even if she found a dud hole and there weren’t any eggs in it.

She tiptoed deeper, the cave getting darker and darker as she went. There were little side passages clotted with stalactites, wet and dripping, but it looked like the main body of the cave had been cleared away. The floor was smooth and easy to walk on, and the ceiling was free of any dripping spikes though she could see that water was still running down the sides in little rivulets in places. It must have been an awfully uncomfortable, damp place to live. She still saw no treasures, but far off in the distance, dancing upon the walls, she could see firelight.

Well that was bad news.

Doe crept closer to the chamber that the firelight was coming from and then nearly flattened herself into the wall, getting dust and cave water all smudged into the pretty white fur along the ridge of her back and her sides. It was a massive central area. Smelled like someone was cooking something, spicy, almost like human foods. Maybe she was in the wrong place after all. And above the crackling of whatever massive cooking fire had been in there someone was humming.

Carefully, very nervously, Doe stuck her head around the corner to look into the chamber.

Hunched over what looked like a pot of stew, back to her, was a massive dragon. Its lizardlike body was perched upon a long stool, and it was standing up on its back legs, stirring a pot nearly twice Doe’s size and sprinkling leaves into it from what looked like the largest salt shaker Doe had ever seen in her life. The dragon itself was dark blue, with lighter blue feet; but where the firelight touched it it shone a brilliant red, almost brighter than the fire itself.

Tucked away into the corner, behind it, sitting in their own cheerily burning fire, was a large clutch of what looked to be nearly fifteen eggs. Each one was leathery, almost soft-looking, with a strange moving shape visibly shining through from the fire underneath. As she watched, one of them twitched and shook as the—what must have been the baby dragon inside rolled around in the egg, stretching out softly like a sleeping creature.

Doe took a step forward, to get a better look— and there. At this angle she could see the treasure hoard of the dragon as well, a neatly organized shelf filled with trinkets and pieces of gold and jewels taking up nearly a third of the room. Doe had never seen a neatly organized dragons’ hoard before, but it was neat. Still, with the dragon awake and active, she didn’t think it would be wise to sneak in there and try to grab anything—

Sitting on the shelf was what looked like nearly twenty Odin’s Eye tokens. With that many— she could have riches she never dreamed of. Gifts and items she could never have even heard of. That would be a prize worth having, for absolute sure.

She took another step into the room, as quietly as she could, and attempted to tiptoe her way across to the shelf; but she stepped on a discarded bone halfway over to the shelf and the dragon abruptly stopped humming to turn around. Up close, its face was scaly and reptilian, and its luminous eyes struck terror into her heart as they fixed directly onto her. The dragon roared, and Doe panicked.

She grabbed whatever was in reach and hightailed it the hell out of the cave, sprinting as fast as she could as the dragon came hot on her heels, scurrying across the ceiling and bellowing in fury the entire time. She got the fur on her back singed when it spat fire and fury at her, but her luck was great, and she made it out without dying. Once outside, she hid in a copse of trees, struggling not to shake, and the dragon looked around for her fruitlessly, squinting its big eyes against the burning sun, before eventually giving up and shaking its head and walking back into its lair.

That was terrifying.

Doe glanced into her heavy bag, laden with treasures. Well. She was probably never coming back here again, but the trip hadn’t been a total bust. Not by a long shot.

-

Story 2: Close Encounters of the Reptilian Kind

Doe tightened up her sack and headed out to the newest dragons’ den she’d scouted out. She was still on the hunt for an egg, of course; but this one was settled on the shores of one of the deepest, fastest rivers, and it was rumored that gold could be found there like common stones. Doe hoped this meant she could find jewelry, or pieces of precious metals, in the dragons’ lair. They were known for keeping large, messy hoards of gold and treasures, after all; and what greater treasure could there be than delicate pieces of jewelry? And what would suit her better, of course, than elegantly crafted, sparkling jewelry?

As such, Doe packed a nice, big, sturdy bag, something she could take heavy items without much difficulty in. She was hoping to walk out with it laden so full she could hardly even walk. That would be only fair, after all the work she’d put in to get the location of the lair.

The dragon that lived in this lair was a water creature, long and lanky. In the hopes of avoiding the same situation she’d run into last time, she’d sat herself outside and waited for the long black dragon to carefully emerge from its lair, straighten up, and then take a breath and dive into the river for a good swim. It should be out all day; or at least she would hope it would be. The creature was ugly and sharp-scaled, narrow in the face and the body, serpentine aside from the wickedly curved long legs that ended in talons almost like that of a hawk. It was a thoroughly alarming monster. She’d rarely seen a dragon that looked nearly as… predatory, as designed to hurt and cause harm. But it looked like an eel that had been turned into a dragon; and Doe was not a fan of eels either. So perhaps she was just biased. Maybe it just looked like a perfectly normal sea creature with jagged, jutting teeth and massive jaws and tiny, beady eyes that never blinked.

No, Doe had not wanted to find herself stuck in the half-collapsed structure with that thing inside it. She waited for it to leave. And once it had left, she slipped inside.

This lair was some half-sunken ruin, the remnant of some building that the ancient humans who had lived in this area had once made. It was, in its prime at least, a castle, white stone reaching up into the sky. Now the spiralling towers had collapsed, and weather had worn the once-bright stones, nearly the same color and sheen as Doe’s fur, down to a dull gray-green and brown. There was water all coating the uneven stone brick floor, and her hooves splashed and echoed loudly down the hall. Plants were growing through the broken windows, and vines hung lowly from the damaged ceiling. In places, Doe could still see faded paintings on the walls; but in others the paint had flaked off, or been peeled off. Here there was a mural of a knight, sitting astride a massive rukaan; the knight was battling with a massive creature. It was too faded and damaged for Doe to really make out the details, but the face of the knight had clearly been intentionally scratched off and defaced.

Doe figured that if she were a horrible gross monster, and she were living alongside a painting of some human killing a horrible gross monster like her, she might try and deface that painting, too. That was kind of sad, actually. She took an experimental swing at the painting with one hoof, and a big sheet of the paint fractured and fell to the ground, splashing into the muddy water.

Oh, okay. That was going to be noticed. Uh, hm. That wasn’t smart.

Doe decided to hurry up and go get her treasure instead of standing around looking at the scenery, after that. Everywhere there was the clear, crystal evidence of this being a dragon’s lair, of course. There were scratches on anything tall enough and sturdy enough to serve as a scratching post, and discarded scales sat in the shallow water. Finally she made it into what must’ve been the primary cavern of the dragon’s lair, a once-resplendent banquet hall that had clearly fallen into disrepair. Rotting wooden tables were stacked along one wall, and looked to have been made into a sort of rough bed, fur pelts and straw and fallen leaves stacked atop the cracked top of the highest one. Piled in one corner was a massive, shimmering hoard of old coins and precious stones, and perched on the very top of the pile was a spectacular set of golden armor, and a crown fit for a king. The armor was a bit big for her, but clearly made for a rukaan; the crown was far too small and probably meant for a human. Doe shoved it into her bag regardless, struggling to pull the armor onto her back; it was fortunately tied together in a bundle but unfortunately rotten and nearly falling apart at the seams regardless of the fact that the metal wasn’t even tarnished. It might have been ceremonial. Gold didn’t make great armor, did it? But she would look good in it, and everyone else would be jealous. And that was good enough for her, really.

Doe filled her bag with riches and went looking around for a nest or clutch of eggs, just in case, but she found none; and then she made her way out. While she was walking back through the watery halls she heard a loud, echoing splash, and then what sounded like massive footsteps; and in a panic Doe flattened herself into an alcove. There was no place to go, after all, and her hoofsteps were loud and obviously wrong. She found herself frozen, rooted to the spot, after realizing that. Oh, no, oh, no, she was doomed.

She realized abruptly she was right across from the mural she’d kicked, too. Even better. Oh no. It was going to know she was in there.

Before long the lanky creature pulled itself into the room, half swimming, half crawling on its belly. It didn’t see her, or at least it didn’t seem to; it came to pull itself up to its full height, looking at the mural quizzically. Doe held her breath in true, real panic. She could feel her body starting to shake. It was so close, and so big, its talons hooked and nearly as long as her head, and its teeth were even more jagged and dangerous up close, and it clearly could snap her up in one bite—

The dragon turned around to fix Doe with a clear, surprisingly intelligent look. She made terrified eye contact with it.

It nodded once, and went on its way.

Minutes after it left Doe finally relaxed enough to let out the breath she’d been holding and stumbled her way back out to freedom. She— she’d clearly taken some of its treasure. Did it just not care? Did it not notice? It definitely saw her. What did any of this mean?

Doe decided to leave that part out when she told this story. Because really. What on earth.

-

Story 3: Cooperation

This latest lair was an abandoned building again, once the cavernous hall of a giant and now the half-collapsed hidey-hole of a small dragon. Doe wasn’t sure if it was just young or if it was only about the size of a large ruk, but either way was cool by her. Maybe its hoard would be small, but she was confident that it had giants’ treasures in that building of its.

Besides, she’d seen it a few times, and it was a pretty thing, bright blue spangled with gold and silver like the sky. It reminded her of a kingfisher, really, the few times she’d seen it, skittish and delicate with broad wings and a narrow, delicate body. It was currently sitting perched atop the intact part of the roof, staring off into the sky as though it could see something more interesting than she could, something more than just the full moon and the stars sparkling brightly. Its eyes were fixed straight up. It had been doing this for nearly three hours. Doe had expected it to take off, but it hadn’t.

She waited a few more long moments, and then abruptly out of nowhere the sparkling creature sat bolt upright, glancing around nervously. It let out a loud caw, almost like that of a crow, and then a high pitched roar that sounded like it were mimicking the calls of larger dragons. Then it spread its wings, shuffled about a bit, and took off into the air. It made a loop in the sky, around the moon; and then it was gone, blending into the night sky as though its shimmering scales were made for this. It probably was, Doe realized after a second, watching what she thought were its wings flap into the distance. It sure looked like just a cluster of shooting stars.

Nonetheless, with the beautiful creature gone, she was free and clear to go break into its home and steal from it. Er. Explore. Explore its home. And steal from it.

Doe stood up, shaking herself, and went to walk through the long stretch of dark, craggy forest to make it to the dragon’s lair. She kept an eye turned to the skies to make sure it wasn’t coming back, and fortunately it didn’t, and she made her way up to the half-collapsed building with little issue. Up close it stank of mildew and rust, strong and disgusting, and it was cold and icy atop the peaks like it was. The wind blew so much more strongly it was unreasonable. Doe ducked inside the uncovered doorway and into the building, and then quickly realized she’d made a mistake as she looked at the blocked path in front of her. There was a little hollow arch, something she could maybe get through, but it was nearly flat to the ground. Evidently the dragon used that on the regular, but Doe’s legs weren’t designed to bend that way, and she didn’t see a way through. She stuck her head through it, struggling to push herself through, but eventually had to admit defeat after nearly getting herself stuck and hearing the whole of the partially-collapsed roof, leaning on the ground and above her, creak and groan as she struggled to free herself. If that came down, she would be dead, her spine broken. It wasn’t worth it.

She went back outside and let herself in from one of the broken windows instead, neatly making it in without having to worry about the broken segment. It wasn’t great, and she scraped herself up on the sides on the broken glass- evidently there was a reason that the dragon didn’t use that method of entry- but they weren’t serious wounds, and she would be just fine. Finally she made it to the central hall, freezing and shaking from cold, dripping little droplets of blood onto the stained and half-frozen floor. Not so triumphant. But surely the treasures would warm her heart, even if they wouldn’t warm her poor frozen ears or her poor freezing hooves.

But when she made it to the central room, fire cheerily burning in the cracked hearth, there was no treasure. The room was almost totally bare. There was clearly a little nest in the corner, built up with sticks and twigs and what looked like scraps of fur it had collected from somewhere, and there was a dead wolf lying in front of the fire. There was maybe twelve kroner lying in the center of the room on the floor. Probably the beginnings of this dragon’s hoard. It really must have been very young after all.

Doe sighed, and went to dig around in the halls. Maybe she could find some treasures the dragon had failed to turn up.

It turned out she was right. After nearly hours of searching, occasionally returning to the center room to warm herself up a bit more, she finally stumbled across what must have been a weapons cache that hadn’t been cleared underneath a rotten section of collapsed ceiling. She could see the glimmering red-gold and steel, still bright after all the exposure to the weather; but the debris was heavy and hard for her to get a grip on. She couldn’t free it, and she was starting to get seriously concerned about really hurting herself if she tried. Every time she shoved a piece of the rotting wood or collapsed brick over, the entire structure groaned and twisted, and the more she moved, the more unstable it seemed.

Then, horrifyingly, while she was tugging at a board with her teeth, she heard flapping overhead; and looked up at the gaps in the ceiling to see the eyes of the sparkling sky-dragon looking down at her curiously.

“Oh no,” Doe mumbled.

The dragon glanced at her, and then looked at the room she was digging at, and then fluttered down to the ground alongside her and struggled to grab the other end of the board Doe was pulling at. Doe registered that after a second and renewed her efforts.

Between the two of them, they were able to much more easily clear the path, though there was a scary moment when half the bricks behind them came down. Fortunately, they didn’t block the hall; but Doe jumped and pranced nervously, and the dragon took off and fluttered back to the ground after a couple seconds. It made a quiet coo at Doe after it landed, and she ducked her head and snorted reassuringly. On that note they went back to work, by mutual agreement.

The giant weapons, once they were cleared out, were far too big for Doe to even try to carry them out. There were flails and axes, heavy swords and massive knives, and even the smallest of them was too big to fit into Doe’s pack. The dragon watched in mild consternation while she struggled to take them, before eventually lifting one of the massive heavy tools and dragging it back to the central room without much of a care. Doe went to help with that, because even if she wasn’t walking out with the treasure the dragon sure seemed to want her help with getting it; and there, lo and behold, on the ground below the sword she’d picked up, was one small heap of gold coins sitting in the rotted remains of what had probably been a massive money-pouch. Doe scooped it into her bag, hoping the dragon wouldn’t notice, and then went back to dragging the weapons in to sit near the hearth.

When they had all been dragged in, the dragon chirped happily, sounding for all the world like a bird. Then it ducked its head to its chest, and carefully plucked one of the golden shimmering scales from its breast with both hands. It held it out to Doe shakily in what was clearly a demonstration of thanks.

Doe took it carefully and set it in its pouch, and she could’ve sworn the dragon smiled at her before curling up atop its new pile of weapons.

When she got home and could see it in better light, the dragon’s scale wasn’t gold at all. It glimmered, iridescent, in the light, and sparkled as though it held the entirety of the night sky in it. It looked gold on first impression, or maybe silver, but if she looked closer, she could see spots of pure black shining through, and bright gold and white and blue, and if she looked any closer than that she started getting dizzy, as though she were going to fall into it. Truly, she’d never seen anything like it.

And this is a model of the dragon's scale, made in Blender!

[things2mustdo]

Face it, the mainstream media is not only full of contradictions, but deep-seated, institutionalized biases. When a male or conservative does something, it is often considered horrendous. Yet when a female, liberal or a member of another “special” group does the same thing, passes are given or journalists’ eyes are averted.

Social media users with common sense political opinions have already started to compile these glaring double standards. Return Of Kings and its supporters should continue doing the same thing.

So here are five of the most egregious recent examples of hypocritical mainstream media madness:

1. Use of dead veterans’ families at political rallies or conventions

When Khizr and Ghazala Khan appeared at the Democratic National Convention to lambaste Donald Trump for his views on Muslim immigration and supposed behavior, commentators and journalists went wild with fanfare. Their son Humayun, a Muslim soldier, had died in Iraq. Trump was attacked for allegedly grandstanding about and minimizing Humayun’s death.

Meanwhile, many of these same newsmen and women, including Rachel Maddow’s stooge Steve Benen, derided the Republicans for featuring Pat Smith, mother of Benghazi fatality Sean Smith, as a speaker at their own Convention. Mrs. Smith had laid into Hillary Clinton over the latter’s role in and perceived indifference to her son’s death in Libya. So one family became heroes to the media for going public after their tragic loss, while another was portrayed as so weak in their grief that they were manipulated by big, bad Republicans into talking.

Moreover, Trump had nothing to do with Sean Smith’s death. Compare this to Clinton, who was the Secretary of State at the time of the American deaths at Benghazi and whose State Department had received numerous calls for assistance. Considering that Sean Smith and others died alongside U.S. Ambassador Christopher Stevens, the first American ambassador to be killed whilst serving since 1979, the woefully insufficient security precautions taken by the Obama Administration and Secretary Clinton should not have transpired. But this spotlight on Clinton does not make for good (liberal) news.

2. Psychiatric records for a war hero vs. medical records of a pathological liar

Countless liberals, both in the media and within other leftist cabals like mainstream Hollywood, have attacked those questioning Hillary Clinton’s health as “misogynists,” “sexists” and other undesirables. When these tags are unable to be used, leftists claim that even piecemeal doubts about her physical condition are nothing but conspiracy theories on par with Roswell UFOs and lizard people running the world.

Yet eight years ago, these same people were frothing at the bit to out John McCain for his supposedly poor health. Most perversely of all, they homed in on his decorated military service, suggesting he had Presidentially disqualifying mental health conditions from his service in the Vietnam War and the multiple years he spent as a prisoner-of-war. “Where are his psychiatric records?” bellowed one piece from Salon, in addition to a number of other articles that more than hinted at the same topic.

Whilst I, like many of you, revile his putrid, watered-down “Republican” policies on many issues, McCain had gargantuan balls in Vietnam. Here is a man who spent more time as a tortured prisoner-of-war, including a stay in the notorious Hanoi Hilton, than Barack Obama spent in the US Senate. As the son of the commander of US forces in Vietnam, McCain received numerous offers of repatriation from the North Vietnamese. He refused and would only accept being returned home once fellow American soldiers captured before him were released. By contrast, Hillary lacks the mental fortitude to tell the truth most of the time, not even after she’s had seizures, coughing fits, and dramatic collapses on camera!

3. Sexualizing political candidates (and removing their genitals)

When an artist by the name of Lushsux painted a mural of a scantily-clad Hillary Clinton, a local Melbourne, Australia council and numerous global commentators derided it as “misogyny” and “sexual objectification.” “Take female politicians seriously!” was the crux of their shrill arguments against the rendering. Lushsux then trolled his critics by repainting the mural so Hillary was dressed in an Islamic burqa. Soon after, multiple statues of a nude and testicle-less Donald Trump appeared in American cities. Unlike the Hillary artwork, the proliferation created huge fanfare and delight amongst both prominent leftists and run-of-the-mill liberal voters. Why is one act so offensive and the other so funny, particularly in age where body-shaming and mocking someone’s appearance is meant to be so taboo?

Most of the critical commentaries about the Trump statues that appeared in the mainstream media, of which there were few, failed to take into account one glaring significance of the testicle-less Trump. Short of them being violently taken or hacked off, how exactly could Trump have no balls? Imagine the furore if a statue, mural or other representation of Hillary Clinton had lacked breasts or shown her vagina circumcised/mutilated. “They’re condoning violence against women!” would be the stock-standard answer from liberals and their even more deranged SJW cousins.

4. Lesbian’s Olympic marriage proposal vs. heterosexual male’s Olympic marriage proposal

This is bad and misogynistic:

This is love and should be applauded:

Leftists rejoiced when Olympic official Marjorie Enya asked her partner, rugby sevens player Isadora Cerullo, to marry her using a microphone. Love wins, right, especially when it’s gay love? But when Chinese athlete Qin Kai asked silver medalist He Zi to marry him, the knives from the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) came out. The BBC, unfortunately taxpayer-funded, published an article insinuating that Qin Kai was attempting to control He Zi with the very public marriage proposal. Not only could it be control, it could be awfully pernicious “male control.” Coverage of Enya’s proposal to Cerullo, however, got the broadcaster’s tick of approval.

If either of the two proposals is a form of control or narcissistic, it was the lesbian one. Unlike the Chinese diver, who was competing individually, the lesbian proposed to was part of the Brazilian team, which had not even been awarded a medal. Brazil had come ninth and that night Australia had beaten New Zealand for the gold medal. He Zi may not have won the gold medal, but she had actually participated in the final. But do not let facts get in the way of a good male-bashing.

5. Objectifying men vs. objectifying women

Cosmopolitan has established itself as a dual enabler of both ditzy female airheads and SJW political freaks. Over time, the magazine has come out strongly against countless normal displays of male sexuality, admonishing men who appreciate female breasts and buttocks for being “horrible.” Of the many Cosmopolitan pieces to take this line, an article in mid-2014 takes the cake for its ridiculous shaming of harmless, healthy behaviors. Ironically, though, covers for this publication feature the same sorts of thin, healthy women that men desire most in the first place.

Fast-forward a mere two years and Cosmopolitan went to the extraordinary effort of cataloguing 36 men whose crotch bulges tickled their fancy. Of course, numerous other articles during that time had objectified men in a way considered misogynistic when males do it to women, but the timing was amusing. After so much talk of valuing female athletes, whose physical accomplishments are far less than men, for their work and not their bodies, Cosmopolitan celebrated the years of sacrifice of male athletes by effectively taking photos of their barely clothed genitalia.

We could keep on going

Many other hypocritical pieces were penned about these situations, not just the ones I have referenced. Then there’s the great number of other articles we could assess and critique on separate issues. You may be convinced, and rightfully so, that the mainstream media is inherently biased. But we need to take this to the next level and disseminate the proof to wider audiences.

Journalists and commentators will continue their bad habits, that much is clear. What matters now is fighting back. Complaining about double standards only goes so far. Exposing them in an organized fashion stands a better much chance in helping us to arrest and then reverse this institutional bias.

As Return Of Kings readers, you are our extra eyes and ears. If you find more examples of extreme leftist media bias, bring it to our attention.

https://www.returnofkings.com/19995/anti-female-stem-bias-a-bayesian-explanation

The New York Times recently ran a long piece exploring the history of women in STEM fields and attempting to explain the ever-present difference between men and women in performance and participation in these fields. The article begins by citing research on perceptions of female aptitude in math and science:

“Researchers at Yale published a study proving that physicists, chemists and biologists are likely to view a young male scientist more favorably than a woman with the same qualifications. Presented with identical summaries of the accomplishments of two imaginary applicants, professors at six major research institutions were significantly more willing to offer the man a job. “

She shares an anecdote that is supposed to display the prejudice of professors against females in the field, but instead illustrates one valid reason for the bias displayed by the Yale study:

“Other women chimed in to say that their teachers were the ones who teased them the most. In one physics class, the teacher announced that the boys would be graded on the “boy curve,” while the one girl would be graded on the “girl curve”; when asked why, the teacher explained that he couldn’t reasonably expect a girl to compete in physics on equal terms with boys.”

Enter Bayes’ Theorem

Bayes’s theorem is a foundational principle of statistics and probability that allows us to update our estimations about the trueness of a fact based on new evidence. The math of Bayes’ theorem is simple and elegant, and the overarching idea is powerful — we can use evidence in a formalized manner to change the probability that something may be true, and this can often have non-intuitive results.

The classic example of Bayes in action is medical tests — for example, if 1% of women have breast cancer, and a mammogram detects the cancer 80% of the time with a 10% false positive rate, what is the probability that a positive result means the woman has cancer? If a mammogram is positive, the chance of cancer is less than 8% due to the presence of false positives, as well as the low baseline population rate of cancer.

What does this have to do with women and STEM fields? Readers of this site are familiar with the allure that even a plain looking girl can have at the height of her availability and youth. This isn’t just a factor when getting free drinks at the bar – it extends to the classroom, hiring for jobs, treatment in everyday life, and many other areas. Girls in primary and secondary school are judged to be better students, despite boys showing a significant advantage in standardized tests starting around middle school. The article highlights the ways that women are supposedly discouraged by the system, but makes no mention of the advantages they enjoy.

Put simply, women are more likely to be handed accomplishments without having to work for them, both due to the power of their sexuality and as unconscious overcorrection for their supposed disadvantages in opportunity. Given an applicant with a certain pedigree – a Ph.D, say, from a top graduate program —we will have a certain estimation of that person’s intelligence and aptitude. However, the “false positive” rate on those qualifications identifying extremely high aptitude is likely to be much lower for a man, who has not enjoyed the advantages of a feminized education system, catch-up programs, and the hint of his sexuality influencing the evaluations of his superiors.

The bias against hiring a woman whose qualifications are equal to a man, and their subsequent lower salary offer, is simply a use of Bayesian inference. It accounts for the implicit probability that the female will not be as good as her résumé suggests, to say nothing of the chance that she will leave her job to begin a family and leave her employer empty-handed at some point in the future. If, as the example above states, both men and women implicitly behave as if men are superior in math and science, we must give some consideration that this is a possibility.

If Men Are Better At Math/Science — What’s The Big Deal?

The media is encouraged to sing the praises of women where they excel compared to men, and females indeed show demonstrated advantages in many cognitive areas. They are better at language acquisition, picking up on non-verbal cues, and we are all familiar with their evolved capacity for psychological manipulation. Many would suggest that women have better organizational skills. They are incarcerated for violent crimes less often, are less prone to risky behavior, and are more resilient to psychological trauma such as PTSD.

But when it comes to exploring why men have long-demonstrated advantages in certain disciplines, the media scrabbles to ascribe the boogeyman of injustice perpetrated on the protected class. The article is quick to dismiss the repeatable and longitudinal difference between males in females in standardized testing, a long-standing form of evaluation that every college and grad school uses to give out valuable admissions spots. It also does not mention the lack of female representation in technology entrepreneurship, a field that is less dependent on credentials and more on individual drive, creativity, and aptitude.

It could certainly be true that women are discriminated against AND that they are simply less common at the far right of the aptitude bell curve necessary for competitive positions in academia. But I challenge you to find this idea entertained in any mainstream publication despite the mountains of circumstantial evidence. Larry Summers was tarred and feathered for even mentioning research on population dynamics as a potential driver of this difference. The lesson here is that, when you begin an “inquiry” by presupposing the conclusion, you will end up with a politically correct and eminently intellectually dishonest worldview.

Read More: The Anti-Male Commercial

[creaturesofazeroth]

17th of September, Alastairian’s Journal

Today’s been… Tough. I woke up in some kind of clinic, feeling numb all the way from my chest down. At first i became terrified that i couldn’t actually feel anything at all, but it turns out i can still move. I found a note saying where i was, and when i ended up there. Apparently, a draenei had carried me into town with Arr’va and Relwynn after a troll attack. Apparently i’d been hit in the spine with a javelin, but somehow it hadn’t paralyzed me, and they managed to patch up most of the wound. My back still aches just between the shoulders, but i think i’ll manage. 

It took me several tries to stand up, and even then i was so numb that i couldn’t feel if i was standing steadily or not. I managed to find my backpack at least, and my book and writing kit. I felt weak though, which isn’t surprising. I’ve been sleeping since the day before yesterday! I was starving and parched, so i made my way to the tavern. I got a few funny looks, but nobody cared too much. I Think they thought i was drunk with the way i was stumbling and wobbling. 

Despite my hunger, the cooking at the inn was still... Horrible. I had to force down every bite. I still don’t understand of all things how someone living in a port can’t cook fish properly! I couldn’t see Arr’va anywhere though. I figured he might be back at Relwynn’s place so i headed there afterwards, but nothing there either. I thought he’d at least be worried enoug to around when i woke up...

I did find some things of his though. I’ll admit, at first i thought he’d left completely, without goodbies or anything, but i found his things in their usual corner. That was a pretty big relief. I know it’s not nice to look through people’s belongings, but he’d sort of just left them there in a pile. There were a lot of interesting things. Most of it seemed to be spare clothes or scrap metal for his leg. I Think i saw a bomb too? I didn’t look too closely in that part after that. 

I found some hygiene things too. A comb, first of all. I... Admit i was a little suprised. I know he’s a troll, for the most part, but i shouldn’t expect him to be a full savage. Then again, a few hundred years of having it drilled into your mind how nasty and savage trolls are is hard to just shrug off. I found some files too. At first i thought they were made for softening the edges on his leg or something, but then i noticed the white on it. Either he has extremely tough nails, or i worry he’s using it for something else. Does he shave down his tusks? His are really short but i took that for being half-elf. Hm... Odd.

The most notable things i found though were one of his hip-flasks, and a beautiful little wooden conch. Arr’va Always drinks out of that flask of his, and i admit i was curious. So i opened it up and sniffed it. I really, really shouldn’t have. I think there’s a good reason for him to have left it there, because its insides smelled like rot and bad spirits! At least the conch helped distract me from the nausea. It’s this Beautiful, painted little shell, all worn and faded. It looks like he’s had it for some time. And no wonder either. On the lip of the conch there was text. Zandali even! I can’t thank my mentor enough for teaching me the language! I never would have been able to learn it on my own i fear! It said “Walk with strength my son.” It was clearly made by Krassa, his mother. And yes, i finally asked him about it! He was a little confused, but he didn’t seem to mind sharing it.

Anyway, i set Everything back as they were. I don’t want to show that i’ve been snooping into his stuff. Then i Went to bed because by the Sunwell i was tired, and my lower body is still so awfully numb! 

Arr’va came back some time later. I don’t know how long exactly, i dozed off Before he came back. But i woke up to him patting me on the head. When i opened my Eyes i saw him smiling. He immediatelly tried to hide it of course. I don’t Think he knows i saw. But he cares after all, and i’m happy about that! I Think he was just out when i woke up.

I’m getting too tired to write now though. I Think i’ll try to sleep some more. Hopefully i won’t feel so numb in the morning.

[takaraphoenix]

Question- I got the feeling from one of your asks you dislike Frozen. Can I ask why? I know I dislike it now because it got beat to utter death in terms of popularity and such. It was cute the first time for me... less so the hundreds of times after.

Oh, dislike is too weak a word. I absolutely hate everything (aside from Sven) about this gods damn movie and its gods damn badly built world. ^^°°°

Now, I already wrote a rather elaborate journal entry about that back in 2015. But I feel like that’s a thing I should also have on here and that rant is also 4 years old, so I’ll copy/paste and edit and add some.

Don’t read if you think Fr0zen is peak perfection. For everyone else, in this 3.5k word essay I will elaborate why Fr0zen is definitely not the peak of Disney animation and story-telling.

So, this is a long overdue rant about why Fr0zen is the worst animated movie I've ever seen in my entire life and why Elsa and Anna are horrible characters.

There are many factors that play into why I hate this movie, so let’s structure this a little bit and start off with the characters.

Elsa and the glorification of that character. Back in the day, I found awfully unfitting comparisons between Elsa and Elphaba from the Wicked series and it pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter, because somehow, Elsa is a celebrated strong female character, while... that’s more than undeserved.I mean, Elsa is a supposed queen. She's different from others and decides to hide it. And then she runs and hides in a castle in the mountains because she's too afraid that others may perhaps judge her for being different. A queen. Abandoning her kingdom without as much as a second thought, just to go and pout and brood alone. What I love about Disney princesses is that they usually put others first before themselves. Not her though, no, when madam needs to angst alone, she’ll just freeze over the entire country and build herself a castle.Elphaba has been different all her life and LIVED with the ACTUAL judgement of others for as long. She NEVER hid who she was. She always stood strong. Yes, she too hid in a castle in the mountains - after she co-led a revolutionary army against what can only be called the Nazis of Oz to prevent a genocide and lost the love of her life and father of her unborn child in the process.Putting Elsa as Elphaba's equal insults Elphaba so much that it makes me, as a fangirl, so ragingly mad, especially since it just doesn’t hold true. Elphaba spent most of her life trying to make the country better, trying to help those who are helpless, while all Elsa did all of her life was hide away in her bedroom and then run away to her castle...Another reason for my deeply seated hatred are the fans. Well, like the ones who think Elsa is in any way, form or shape qualified to be Elphaba's equal. There were so many posts pretending like Fr0zen is somehow revolutionary because it‘s about sisterly love instead of romance (like Lilo & Stitch doesn‘t exist) and other such claims that just completely ignored some of Disney’s biggest hits - not even the deep digs, they entirely disregarded very popular and widely known movies and instead pretended like this here was the very first time such amazing things happend! No. It’s just a repetition of tropes and writing that Disney’s been doing for decades.It's like Fr0zen drew in people who have legitimately never seen a Disney movie before in their entire lives.Then there's the whole feminist-thing where they act like Anna or Elsa are good role-models to little girls. The fuck they are. I mean, I've mentioned it before, but I'll gladly get back to it. It's good to vent and let the bad feelings go, eh?Granted, blaming Elsa and Anna entirely is probably a bad move. We need to start with their dumbass parents. Worst movie parents ever.The magical troll TELLS them explicitly that Elsa's biggest weakness is fear. The logical course of action when one of my children has a supernatural and possibly dangerous power is to explain it to her - since they seemed pretty chill about it, like it's a regular thing in their family to be born with some kind of weird powers. To teach her, maybe make her go and visit the trolls once a week for training. SOMETHING. Anything but locking her up in her room where she learns to hate and FEAR her powers, which, obviously grow with age. So by the time she's really powerful, she won't have the faintest clue how to handle them. Worst. Parents. Ever.Then there is Elsa, who has magical powers that she loves. But hey, Anna got a little hurt so let's be afraid of them forever. It's like riding a bike. When you fall and get hurt, you NEVER EVER get on a bike again. Wait, what do you mean that's not the case?

She proceeds to become the queen and seems to be aware that it's a lot of responsibility and that she's now, duh, the queen. So packing it all up and running away at the faintest sign of trouble for her is a totally legitimate queen-move. Instead of handling the situation like a grown up and facing it, she runs away and hides in a castle of ice. Because why should she care about the kingdom that SHE caused the biggestest crisis in probably its whole history? Naw, letting it go and hiding up there is way better. How does that move and that song teach children and little girls to be good? It basically teaches them to run from their problems when something happens that you're uncomfortable with, because you are the only person who should matter to you, especially when you're a queen. Not your family, friends (not that she had those) or the kingdom you rule. As long as YOU are comfortable and happy, it's totally fine. There's not an ounce of bravery, honor or even common sense that Elsa portraits. It’s completely selfishly motivated and while sure, being selfish to a degree, can be a good thing and there are people who need to learn it... to just straight-up abandon everyone who relies on you just because you have been inconvenienced is... not a good lesson?

That super big song is an awful lesson. “No right, no wrong, no rules for me”... yeah, great, love when that’s the lesson my kids learn from a Disney movie. It’s so unnecessarily dramatic and so intensely selfish. Usually the main song of a Disney princess is empowering and encouraging. Not telling you to basically fuck the rules and do whatever you want.

Then there's the whole lazy-ass character design of the white-haired, pale-skinned, blue-eyed, blue-dressed ice-controller. As seen in Rise of the Guardians with Jack Frost one year prior, as seen in Tinkerbell with Periwinkle (getting to that later) also one year prior and literally as seen by Bertier in Sailor Moon, who even has the same braid thrown over her shoulder, for heaven's sake. And granted, yes, you can‘t just fault Disney for that. Everybody who has an ice-controler loves to fall back to those cliche character design elements, but... this is Disney. They are big and they usually care about their character design, but here they were simply the laziest they could be. Not to mention that dress. Oh sure, Disney has always liked to over-sexualize certain characters, but here they did it in an era-breaking way - her dress does not even remotely fit into the overall setting of the movie, which only makes it look even more like some character-designer really just wanted to get off to Elsa...

Not to mention the even lazier design of her powers. She controls snow and ice. So... her magical ice can corrupt a heart and freeze them for good. Oooh and it can create sentinent life as seen by Olaf and that giant-ass monster. And she makes fancy ice-clothes that are not see-through but come it different shades of blue and move like proper clothes would! ...Where exactly are her powers? What CAN she do? Because it's obviously not just ice. It's convenient "She does what we need her to do". Driven even more home by that ridiculous short where she suddenly also has spring-powers. Because sure, why the fuck not.

Usually, princesses have clearly defined abilities. Moana controls the water because she has a bond with the ocean and she gets them from being chosen by the ocean. Rapunzel has healing powers because her mother digested a healing plant while pregnant.

There's no explanation whatsoever to Elsa’s powers. The king and queen are acting all casual about Elsa being born with those powers, but there's not even the hint of an explanation as to WHY she was born with those very random powers. Her parents and sister sure don’t have any powers. And even though they know about them and seem to not be concerned that she has those powers, they are very much at a loss as to how to deal with them. So you’re not actually familiar with them, then why are you not surprised by them...?

They have magical stone-trolls. Why do they have magical stone-trolls? Again, king and queen are totally casual about the magical stone-trolls like they're something completely obvious that is in every kingdom. But where do they come from and how are they linked to the princess’ random magic? Who knows? Certainly not the viewer of this movie, because jackshit about the world-building is actually explained in it.

They're not even attempting to tie in the magic or make it logical in this world. It's there. It's strange and weird. The rulers know about it, but... does the common folk? I guess not, because even Anna was shocked about them. So how did the king and queen know?

Unlike the usual, they’re not even attempting a coherent world-building. Something as simple as “it’s in the royal blood, every firstborn has those powers, king’s older sister had them too”, or whatever, literally any throwaway half-way thought-through explanation would have sufficed instead of “LOL they’re there we dunno how or why and they just do what they we need them to do!”...

Anyway, enough about Elsa. Let’s move on to little Miss Dumbass. The girl without common sense. I'm aware that Disney was trying to be self-ironic with the whole love song under the moon and "I wanna marry him!" thing, but Anna went farther than that. When her sister decides to let it go and run away, she becomes the default leader of the country. As that I totally run after my sister during the biggest crisis of the kingdom. And yes, maybe because she's just a naive kid and loves her sister who hasn't talked to her in like ten years so-so-so much, that sister had priority. Okay, I'll buy it, I guess. That still doesn't change that Anna leaves the kingdom in the hands of the dude she's known for like an hour instead of the generals and advisers who must have ruled while Elsa was busy playing emo in her bedroom for the last ten years. Someone qualified who knows the kingdom and knows how to handle it. Nope, let’s throw caution and common sense out of the window because I REALLY LOVE HIM!!!... And I am also genuinely tired of Disney making fun of themselves and belittling their old movies, to be quite honest. It was a fun joke when they did it the first time in Enchanted, but at this point it’s quite frankly just insulting the movies that came before and... how about not??Now for one of the most important reasons why I hate this movie; they fucked Hans Christian Andersen. The only thing this has to do with his Snow Queen is that there's a queen who controls ice.

I know Disney has been painfully lazy this century.

They've always twisted the fairy tales to make them more friendly for kids, but the core of the real fairy tale remained - Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, well I'm assuming you've heard of them and know where I'm getting with this. They make it less brutal and more child-friendly, but the heart of the story remains the same. Then this century hit and it must have hit them upside the head because they forgot how to adapt a source material.

I liked Princess and the Frog. It was funny, she was a strong character with development, the animal sidekicks were cute. And it's dismissal of the fairy tale is even semi-explained in canon where she points to the actual fairy tale and says it's "like" the tale. Not it is the tale. They weren't even trying to adapt the fairy tale with this one, so it gets a pass, even though I am still peeved that they didn’t actually do an adaptation of either the Frog King or the Frog Princess, because both are great fairy tales that would have deserved to become Disney movies too.

Then there was Tangled, which... was trying to adapt Rapunzel and kept some of the key-elements while striking out other important things - like where she got her name, for example, I mean, really? Though I did like that wink to the real fairy tale at the end when her magical tears healed him. That was a piece of illogical magic in the fairy tale and the whole flower-thing in Tangled, well, it at least tried to make it logical.

But Fr0zen? There is nothing that this has to do with the actual fairy tale and when it was first announced, I was looking forward to another fairy tale adaptation, instead I got a pile of bullshit they placed on HCA's grave.Now, my last point on this agenda - because I could nitpick every single second of that movie, but even I'm not patient enough and it would mean I'd have to rewatch it to actually make it every single second accurately and that is never going to happen. Ever - is that it's a cheap rip-off.

Disney doesn't really do the whole original routine. Their movies are based on fairy tales and books and plays. And they occasionally get lazy and re-use things from their old stuff. But Fr0zen is such a copy of even one of their own movies.The movie I'm talking about here is Tinkerbell: Secret of the Wings. Yes, it's not even one of their big hits or a fairy tale movie. It's like the third sequel to the spin-off of a book-adaptation.

Let's see...

We got two sisters. Check. Anna and Elsa. Tinkerbell and Periwinkle.

One of them is naive, yet optimistic and good-natured and easy-going. Check. Anna and Tinkerbell.

The other is pale, blue-eyed, white-haired and has ice-controlling powers. Check. Elsa and Periwinkle.

But our main protagonist isn't the powerful one, it's the naive goody-two-shoes one. Also check.

The two sisters were separated for a long time. Check. By locking herself into a room versus by being in another realm.

Reunited at a late teenage-age and realizing wow, we got some stuff in common. Check.

There's the matter of the ice harming the naive one. Check. Anna gets hurt as a little girl and Tinkerbell catches a cold when she's first in the winter wonderland.

This harming is cause for a separation, because finding a way around the pain is too easy and we need drama. Check.

Winter takes over the kingdom. Double-check on that one.

The sisters need to find a way to work together to save their kingdom from eternal winter, but that's hard because the ice once again harmed the naive one. Check, with Anna's frozen heart and Tinkerbell's broken wing.

Dramatic moment, because the naive one seems in a dire situation without any way out, but there is a weird sister-love-magic going on that totally solves that problem! Check. Elsa kissing Anna and making it better, while Periwinkle's wings can heal Tinkerbell's wings via twin-wing-magic.

And the kingdom is saved and they lived happily ever after, finding a way to see each other and be best sisters forever! Also check. The end.

It's just embarrassing to rip yourself off like that. Seriously, borrowing some elements of a movie you have done before is one thing (like Maleficent shamelessly “borrowing” from Fr0zen). But the extend to which the plots of those two movies align is ridiculous.

Not to mention the internet going nuts over Elsa like she's the best thing since sliced bread. All the J€lsa everywhere still makes my stomach turn. How does the internet see two characters who dress the same, look the same, have the same powers AND the same fears and think "My, those two characters who are basically twins, I'd like to see them make out!".

Which also plays heavily into why I don’t just dislike the movie is that it is mercilessly shoved down your throat at every turn. You go to a regular groceries store? Here are the Fr0zen plates and band-aids and toothbrushes and what not! No other Disney movie has ever been commercialized to that degree, it really doesn’t matter what type of store you enter, there will be merch for this blasted movie. You literally couldn’t escape it. And if you don’t like a thing but at every turn, it is shoved into your face, then your dislike tends to grow.

Another huge point in that regard is that stupid ““short movie”“ they aired before Coco.Those two movies were in such different settings that the disconnect actually threw you off, seriously I had a hard time getting into Coco for the first 20 minutes or so because I had just been in an entirely different place, story-wise, setting-wise, heck even climate wise. To go from white wonderland Christmas special to Day of the Dead celebration in Mexico?? That’s literally as far apart as you could get...

And it was just too long. If you put a short movie before a movie, make it actually short. The five minute ones, as was the usual. That is fun, that is nice. This one was twenty minutes long.

Again, a part where the fans piss me off because they bitch that people shouldn’t complain about it, they “didn’t have to see it”. Bitch, no. For one, I do not know how long this movie is when I sit in cinema and am suddenly hit outta left field by there even being a short-movie. So why would I leave? Is it 5 minutes? 10 minutes? If I stay outside the cinema too long, I will actually miss the beginning of the movie I came and paid for.

And I’m a grown adult. The situation with kids is far different. Every single kid in the theater with me was absolutely confused and asked every two minutes “Why is that on? Are we in the wrong theater? When will the movie start?”, multiple ones leaving... and not returning at all, because they thought they indeed were in the wrong movie. And even then... there is a reason a children’s movie is roughly an hour to an hour and a half. Because of a child’s attention span. Now if you pack a nearly half hour long ““short film”“ in front of a one and a half hour long actual film and after another half hour of trailers and ads, you have forced those four to ten year olds through a total of two and a half hours. Heck, me as an adult I got a hard time with that length. But among the kids who actually stayed and didn’t leave because of the short, most - especially the younger ones - got really cranky toward the end of Coco, obviously, logically.

So, aside from being a horrible movie (seriously, it’s just one song after the other and the other and the other and focusing on the solely worst part of this franchise, Olaf), it was also forced upon people. Not like other random spin-off shorts to their movies that just air on TV and you can watch them if you like them. Nope. You wanna see this beautiful masterpiece about the Day of the Dead? You gotta watch this Fr0zen short before!

There’s more things (like the just mentioned fact that I think the obnoxious, unfunny and unexplained magic snowman was the worst thing), like I mentioned above I genuinely could nitpick every second of it if I would want to, but this is already long enough with the big bullet points.

TL;DR: It’s just too much, it is forced upon people, it has lazy world-building and character design, it has a horrible message, it is constantly treated like it’s in any way or shape revolutionary when it brought literally not a single new thing to the table, it has nothing to do with the fairy tale it was first announced to be an adaptation of and a huge chunk of its fans are really freaking obnoxious.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p19 reaction

I... don't really know what to expect anymore.

What could the wallet contain. A Dad note. A Terezi note. Or captchalogued people?

Odds are even we won't be seeing it right away. Though I'd dread to see Dirk's omniscient narrative voice take over narration of the post-victory scenes.

Still, Dirk should know better by now than to rely on his strong points this much. They're not evened out by a reliable moral compass all the time, and he's seen the results of that before. Guess with great knowledge comes great arrogance.

"Anyway, back to the B Plot." Ah yes, the B Plot. On Earth C. Featuring A2 trolls Karkat and Kanaya.

"Right about now, Jade should be wrapping up her political presentation to Roxy and Calliope" Ah, skipping right to the end of that, are we.

"Jade’s got this disarming combo of head-in-the-clouds flightiness and the kind of legit, down-to-earth cred that can only be earned by having done something like cutting open your own grandfather and stuffing him full of polyurethane foam." Ah yes, one of these definitely led to the other.

"neoliberal austerity measures" How often can we repeat the same 3 words?

"

Roxy groans upon hearing the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures” for no less than the third time in this presentation." Roxy the audience surrogate. Since it's our 3rd time too.

"JADE: as i outlined here in graph b-2 JADE: and here in figure a-6" It's a good thing timelines can only be scratched the once. A6 Alternia would have been a dreadful sight.

"JADE: and here!!! in this very spooky drawing i dictated to callie JADE: (great drawing by the way!!!) CALLIOPE: ^u^" Hah, Calliope's drawing skills have found another use! Political Powerpoints.

"JADE: the thing is that jane is an establishment leader JADE: shes looking at doing things the way our old universes did them JADE: shes pretty convinced that shes going to be able to replicate the capitalist hierarchies that earth had but in a more “responsible” way JADE: but none of that stuff actually worked!!!!!" That's a nice summary of the things that are wrong to Jane's approach, actually. Though it doesn't provide an answer to the underlying problem yet.

"ROXY: and u think karkat can do better? JADE: i think its worth it to give him a chance JADE: hes a leader of the people AND hes experienced firsthand what happens when establishment goes too far JADE: which i imagine you can sympathize with!" This really feels like a boardroom conference, with Jane trying to get a preliminary backing out of a captain of industry.

"Her graphs are floating around the living room in disarray." Hah, she's using her space powers for this in another mundane application. Though... not in any offical setting, it seems. Roxy and Calliope's home.

"CALLIOPE: i’m... CALLIOPE: going to get Us tea and snacks. woUld yoU like some, jade?" To be fair, Calliope's probably going to follow Roxy in her eventual decision, anyway. Her childhood fascination with trolls might have been abandoned for new interests, or she might trust her friend's judgment in matters political.

"Calliope excuses herself from the conversation, and flees to the kitchen, seemingly making no attempt to disguise the fact that she is in fact fleeing." What a cutey. Calliope might in fact be trying to flee anything reeking of negativity, associating it with black romance and such.

"Jade deflates as she watches her go, sensing that her presentation wasn’t the slam dunk she was hoping for." It's so easy forgetting that the narration is also at least in part steering the story at this point. >_<

"ROXY: well i gotta say ROXY: this has been a hella convincing argument all in all ROXY: buuuuut idk if i can help u out" Maybe they would actually like to stay neutral?

"She and Calliope live in a belfry above New Prospit. One end of their living room is an oriel window that looks out over a public park. The other disappears into an arcading hallway lit at the far end by a giant stained glass window that Calliope made herself. The corbels supporting it have windy, abstract shapes carved into them." Artsy! I didn't know what to picture for their living space, but actually Calliope taking to carapacian art-deco and giving it a cheruban twist really works!

"That’s what keeps Jade Harley flitting from couch to couch, relationship to relationship. She can’t stop thinking to herself that “home” comes awfully close to rhyming with “alone.”" Home Alone, huh?

"Home is John, who doesn’t call anymore. Home is when Rose and Kanaya welcome her in from a cold night and help her set lyrics to her sick basslines. Home is here, snorting at Roxy’s irreverent method of storytelling and admiring Callie’s art. Home is Dave and Karkat." This REALLY reminds me of the Tramp, as he had a home in every street he frequented.

"ROXY: im alls ABOUT the sowing of discord among my childhood friends" She's had quite her fill of the dramas. That's a valid reason to stay out of it. She'll just have to weight it against the downsides of not influencing the outcome of the election in any positive way.

"JADE: dirk got to you first ROXY: not even ROXY: i got no problem tellin dirk where to stick it lmao ROXY: but dirks not the one running JADE: you think hes NOT the one pulling the strings behind the scenes? ROXY: sure but give janey a lil credit" On the one hand I'm glad Roxy's got such a backbone, on the other hand, off course we know Dirk's still influencing the outcome at the moment. Also, uh, he's got no issues invading the lives of his friends personally, even after telling us off on the subject first.

"ROXY: but shes yknow JADE: ruthless? :B

Roxy frowns. Jade is being pretty unfair." I get the feeling Jade is less good at filtering her words lately. And I also get the feeling Dirk is starting to sow a little conflict.

"ROXY: shes gotta be miss perfect all the time for the billboards n press meetings ROXY: always wearin those power suits trying to look like a big bad bitch JADE: you mean like....... the condesce? ROXY: wow ouch JADE: im not just imagining it though, right??? JADE: you see it too JADE: not to dredge up something horrible from your history JADE: but her whole image is just kinda...... *woof* ROXY: is that what you guys think? ROXY: u and dave and karkat?" It's something they should have brought up via intermediary channels to Jane on beforehand. Not let fester until all they could think of to "stop" her was introduce a late-to-the-party candidate.

Jade might also be doubly upset with Jane for seemingly mirroring the Condesce, as they were both brainwashed by her.

"Roxy leans forward and stares Jade down, like she’s searching for something behind Jade’s eyes." That's the same thing she did with John! Guess she's trying to find out some of her secrets.

"Jade unwittingly responds in kind, looking for meaning behind Roxy’s gaze. But she comes up empty. And to be honest, so do I." That unfathomable personality might be your spanner in the works, Dirk. I can only hope she's secretly onto him. Her Void powers manifest the 'obscurity' different from Equius.

"In the spirit of full disclosure, Roxy’s the only one left I haven’t been able to crack. Her mind remains a total enigma to me, just like it always has." It's interesting, since they share so much in childhood upbringing, progeny, demeanor even at times...

"invisible, even to increasingly omniscient parties such as myself" *coughDocScratchcough* ... What would Reload Roxy be doing right now, assuming the session's timeline didn't stop when Caliborn's soul 'left' it?

"ROXY: but shes not betty crocker ROXY: and i luv her and i dont wanna hurt her feelings" N'aww.

"ROXY: and thats p much all there is to say on the matter" Second time the phrase's been used in the epilogues!

"CALLIOPE: oh, i’d rather stay Uninvolved, thank yoU." Passive player to the brink.

"CALLIOPE: i feel like interfering in both politics and a personal argUment between my friends woUld be impolite as well as kind of... stressfUl, to be honest. JADE: yeah JADE: sorry callie i probably shouldnt have put all that on you CALLIOPE: less apologizing, more snacking!" It's nice to see they're cutting her some slack. A horrible childhood, an early death, a spiel as a ghost... Oh, sure, she's one of the good guys and as such would have some responsibilities in the end, but it's nice for a change they don't expect too much from her. Maybe a bit too little for her own good, but still.

"Calliope claps her hands together. It’s a bright noise. Her tone of voice is bright too. All these years and she still can’t believe that she has so many friends. She smiles at Jade, and Jade smiles back. The tea tastes great. The cakes are even better. Callie’s an artist in everything she does." ^u^ Aww, that warms my heart at least.

"JADE: wow callie youre such an amazing hostess!" ... Well, she's a more excellent host than Doc Scratch, for sure!

"ROXY: psst not “her,” “them”" ... I see! Well, guess we'll be getting some more insight into the androgyn bodies of cherubs and how Calliope has updated her self image over all these years? Caliborn still had the giant eyelashes, so it stands to reason there were also other, more masculine traits to Calliope's body even when she still shared it with her brother.

"JADE: oh wow!" Oh, I figured Jade already knew about Calliope's preferred pronouns, but it seems not!

"CALLIOPE: bUt i did take comfort in “being a girl” for a very long time. this is something i’ve only recently decided." ... I just remembered how Calmasis also was this androgynous figure. ... I wonder if Calliope will be thinking about a name change.

So, I don't think Roxy's haircut is a sign she's genderfluid now too, but I imagine a lot of fanart has already been created for butch!Roxy by the time I read this.

"ROXY: m-me too actually" Oh. N-never mind then. That caught me unaware! I didn't see that in Roxy. For one, despite all the pink and the ponies, she didn't seem like she felt "trapped" in a role to me. Unlike Calliope, where I can see how she might have felt obliged to embrace everything not-Caliborn.

But this does shed a whole new light on Mom's overly childish and girlish bedroom in the lab. Like she was trying to compensate for something. Uhm... It might also be one of the main reasons behind her drinking problem. Her embracing girlish, adult woman habits but never feeling like they 'fit'.

Well well. Homestuck's main characters continue to be representation incarnate.

"Wait.

   What?" PFFFFFFFFFF. I love it. Dirk's reaction is gold. Guess this completely blindsided him too and didn't shed any more lights on the inner workings of her mind than he thought. So even if he knew she was holding something back after the "yea", and maybe encouraged her to keep speaking, he didn't know what to expect.

"Roxy? Seriously?

Like I said, fucking inscrutable." Dirk has NOT just had an "I knew it!" moment.

"I never would have guessed. Not that I’ve spent much time contemplating issues related to gender. I’m pretty secure in my expression of masculinity, and..." That's a suspiciously specific acknowledgement, though, Dirky boy. :P

"You know what? Fuck this. I don’t owe anyone an explanation of any sort on this topic. I’m confident with who I am, what I am, my gender, as well as my understanding of the concept. You want my honest opinion? It’s fucking fantastic. Good for them. Both of them, I mean, but also, both of them in a singular fashion, since each one can now individually be referred to by the conventionally plural word “them.”" Pffff, of all the things. I didn't think this would have Dirk fly off the handle in such a Dave-way, while still narrating, but I'm happy to see it. In an out-of-story sense, Dirk is currently the audience surrogate, showcasing what a "true fanboy"'s reaction could be like, if they were both shocked to the core but mature enough to get over their shock without throwing around accusations and tantrums.

But yeah, at least the aloofness is gone from his voice, for just this time.

"I’m ecstatic for this personal development they’ve embraced, for the people they are, the lack of gender they identify with, and the pronouns they prefer. I’ve got no problem with it whatsoever, and frankly, it’s fucking insulting anyone would ever imagine otherwise." I can picture him speaking through gritted teeth, it's glorious! 'This is good, this is fine. I am doing great!'

"ROXY: ahah hahaha hell of a way to come out" Ooh, so she's not even out to Jane or Rose yet!

"ROXY: what even is gender" That is SUCH a Roxy thing to say. Also, almost stoner like. Picture Gamzee going like (in his quirk): 'Have you ever really THOUGHT about gender, man? I mean, really THOUGHT about it.'

"Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say." "ROXY: i mean that was all stuff from our old universe ROXY: whyd we even bring it here right? JADE: right" I think for Jade it's not something she'd discard so easily! I mean, it all depends on whether 'gender' is something antigonal to your self image, in the end, I guess. If it isn't hindering you... that's how you stay heteronormative in some or all elements.

"Calliope takes a teacake between two of her claws and eats it delicately, hyper-aware of the horrible gnashing and snapping her powerful jaw is capable of.

CALLIOPE: my ideas aboUt gend—

SHIT. Between two of /their/ claws." HAH. Oh my god. The narration cut off Calliope. ... Pffff, though it IS a good callout, since I've been using gendered pronouns still to refer to Calliope. Whoops!

"CALLIOPE: i sUppose i only thoUght of myself as a girl because my, Um... CALLIOPE: my brother took mascUlinity qUite serioUsly." A) Still not saying his name :P B) Using his preferred pronouns.

"CALLIOPE: by which i mean, he became very enthUsiastic aboUt all the things it sUpposedly meant to be a boy. CALLIOPE: cherUb existence is dichotomoUs, bUt not in the same way hUman biology is. CALLIOPE: i sUppose oUr view of hUman cUlture indirectly inflUenced alternia’s development, which in tUrn affected yoUrs, which is something i’ve had a lot of time to think aboUt since we came here." Oh right! Lord English & Doc Scratch helped shape Alternia's development, so in a lot of bad ways there was a focus on power and masculinity, which may have trickled down into Earth's because of who created our universe, and thus it might all have been a self fulfilling prophecy, what Caliborn's gender identity is concerned! Guess we were due another one of these loops. :P

"ROXY: so much of what earth c thinks what boys and girls “SHOULD” do comes straight from the imagination of a bunch of dumb teens ROXY: which is totally FUCKED JADE: sure" Yes, and so much of what Earth C "should" be like, as a victory state reward planet, and the epilogues by extension, exists only in the imagination of a bunch of dumb humans spread over this globe. :P I reek a callout. Not undeserved, mind.

"She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen." (Referring to Jade.) I'll grant you that, Dirk. But I thought you were doing paraphrasing other people's thoughts for the course of this conversation?

"i liked the idea of dirk" He'll love to hear that. :P Well, you know, Karkat had the same thing, he loved the idea of Condesce as a powerful leader, if not always the result of that leadership.

"ROXY: and also literally no one else on the entire planet was alive at the time

ROXY: but we had some babies without even bein consulted about it anyway so w/e" Context!

"JADE: personally im a big fan!

And like that, Jade’s smiling again." Nothing like Dave & Karkat to lift her mood. :P

"The storm clouds pass so quickly in her world, you almost wouldn’t have thought there was anything wrong at all. Roxy and Calliope certainly didn’t notice.

But there is something wrong. And this time, they’ll notice." Uhhh, wrong with Jade? Or something wrong with Earth C in general? Besides Dirk taking over, I mean. Oh no! ... Calliope left the kettle on! :P

"JADE: i... JADE: i.........

Jade drops her tea. The cup hits the floor and shatters." ... Is she passing out?? Just like Rose??

... Oh no. This doesn't have anything to do with John going back, retconning the timeline, and some of their selves being killed right? It shouldn't influence them, since they're from a different timeline, but with the talk about canon and relevance and truth and shit...

Is Dave going to pass out next???

Did John accidentally change the Reload timeline to be the alpha one, and is the future adjusting to the changes??? Or is it due to something to do with Lord English' powers in killing a different 'real' version of them?

"She takes in a sharp breath. She’s not feeling well suddenly. She’s dizzy, feverish, seeing things beyond her field of vision. A blinding flash of light. A black, perfect circle, burning a hole in her eyes." Wow. Just like John, she gets a vision of the Black Hole! So, maybe it's more like she gets backlash from suddenly absorbing the memories of Reload Jade.

"She doesn’t look bad at all— Jade wears unconsciousness well, having spent the better part of her life napping." Aaaand we're back in sleeping beauty terrain.

"But she can’t hear her. Jade is somewhere else right now." Uhhhhh. I thought they didn't really dream in the dreambubbles post-victory no more?? Also, those were all destroyed by LE, anyway.

Dang. That's weird.

Are the B1 kids (adults) actually going to be gathering in the Furthest Ring in 'person'? But why, and how? ... There isn't anything like a 'dreambubble self' body that persists in the Furthest Ring that John could have woken up like how you could wake people up on Derse and Prospit. ... Now I'm reminded of an old fanart I made of a green moon circling the Green Sun, with green dream selves for all humans & trolls we knew at the time (B1 and A2). :P

[pyrotrolls]

⅀ whomstever

SEND ME A ⅀ AND I’LL EXPLAIN ONE OF MY CHARACTERS’ BACKSTORIES REALLY BADLY

This man!! Lyodae. He was a super awkward nerd growing up with no friends! Probably because was WEIRD. Anyway his lusus is being awfully demanding, and hungies and Lyodae realizes shit, I am gonna need to kill my giant wolf spider lusus because I can’t keep up with the demand of hunting trolls so it doesnt eat me- or my dogs. Because Lyodae has dogs. Like a whole pack all named Dog with slightly different infliction of tone. Well he goes, fuck it, hey this fish bro who ALSO owns dogs, wanna help me kill my lusus. and this fish says yeah lets do it. but lyodae loses his hand in the process. and hes got no one to help. so now hes depressed and lonely and the fish bro fucked off because they werent like. legit friends or anything. and lyodae meets a clown named pofeir. and this clown is like owo wanna join my cult maybe uwu and lyodae’s like wow is this a healthy family to project my trauma on? and they help build him a new hand and give him a purpose. and hes chilling for sweeps in this cult that does horrible things but he looks the other way its cool!!! then vemili gets recruited and hes like o that dude is kinda hot tho. and they become friends. 

but vemili from the get go is not vibing this cult. its kinda obvious the leader just thought he had potential and dragged him in. and vemili’s like lyodae, im pale for you, we should leave. i think this isnt good. and lyodaes like nah bro this is all i know this is family. and vemili is like. bro arent WE fam? and lyodae is like well. i mean sorta. and then vemili is like okay well im leaving. and the cult went hey lyodae. wheres vemili at. and lyodae was a BITCH and went “over there” and pointed. and vemili went BRO. and then he watched his best friend get tortured for hours because he was too chicken to leave a cult with him. 

now he doesnt even believe in the messiahs, miserable and fills the void of loneliness with animals. since every friend he makes ends up leaving him because he is a bad person who betrays them in some way! 

[ivankahasbeentreatedsounfairly]

Over the course of Donald Trump’s staggering political rise, observers tried to make sense of him by borrowing a metaphor from the internet: Trump, they said, was a troll. He was described as turning presidential aspirants into “Twitter trolls” (by a primary challenger, Marco Rubio), as “the world’s greatest troll” (by the data whiz Nate Silver) and, after his inauguration, as “our Troll-in-Chief” (by the liberal pundit Touré). Each was meant as a dig: The troll is the bottom-feeder of internet culture, not a hero. But Trump himself gladly owned the slur. When a Twitter user called him “the most superior troll” on the platform back in 2013, Trump replied, “A great compliment!”

Trolling isn’t just about manning an unhinged Twitter account. It describes an ethos. The troll is a figure who skips across the web, saying whatever it takes to rile up unsuspecting targets, relishing the chaos in his wake and feasting on attention, good or bad. For Trump, that means inciting political panic with glib news conferences, all-caps tweets and made-up terrorist attacks, shifting his beliefs to suit his whims. During the campaign, the ambiguity of this spectacle worked to his advantage, freeing his supporters from their own responsibilities: When he called for a 2,000-mile-long wall or suggested banning an entire religion from entering the country, the sheer extremity of these ideas let voters view them as goading performances instead of real plans. And with every political shrug, the web’s most antisocial sensibility rose further into the heights of American public life.

Now that the trolling ethos has infiltrated the actual core of government, whole systems are being forced to improvise around Trump’s inscrutable center. He is a frequently insincere and unserious person, placed in the most serious of positions. Politicians on the right find themselves staking claims on Trump’s throwaway accusations, pretending that massive vote fraud exists or that angry constituents at town halls are paid protesters. Journalists wrestle with late-night tweets that carry the weight of the presidency but also seem designed only to enrage and confuse. What does it mean for the American presidency itself to become a fake out?

Troll culture was forged in the primordial ooze of the internet, in a time when online social interaction took place in rolling walls of text. In 1993, LambdaMOO, a popular virtual community, was besieged by a user called Mr. Bungle, a character dressed as a clown in a semen-stained costume. One evening, Mr. Bungle used a programming trick to make it appear as if other users were performing violent sex acts on one another. Later, when his targets demanded an explanation, Mr. Bungle typed: “It was purely a sequence of events with no consequence on my RL” — real life — “existence.” He was just messing with people, delighting in the power to provoke reactions from a remove. And because everyone involved could just log off, those left shaken by words on a computer screen were made to feel silly. As one commentator said during the ensuing controversy, “I think that freedom would be well served by simple toughening up.”

Mr. Bungle was a lone wolf, but trolling could also be a communal activity. On 1990s Usenet groups, users would post in-jokes and provocations in a bid to flush out naïve newcomers. And with 4chan, an anonymous, anime-obsessed message board started by a teenager in 2003, trolling charged beyond its online vicinity and into the offline lives of distant strangers. In the most notorious incident, 4chan trolls latched onto a Myspace page memorializing a seventh-grader who had killed himself, ridiculing the child’s recent disappointments and seizing on grammatical errors in posts from mourners. (One had called him “an hero.”) Soon they were placing harassing phone calls to the boy’s parents and snapping prank photos at his grave.

Trolling was always about the distance between people who care and people who don’t. The people who cared always lost.

Internet trolls work by exploiting the gap between the virtual and the real. They float, weightless and anonymous, across the web, then reach out and rattle people who are pinned down by fixed ideologies, moral codes and human emotions. Any attachment to principles — even really basic ones like “don’t torture grieving parents” — gives the troll an opening. Stretching back to Mr. Bungle, trolling was always about the distance between people who care and people who don’t. The people who cared always lost. Often, they were counseled to detach as much as the trolls had: to withhold their outrage, to not “feed the trolls,” to pretend there was a real distinction between doing horrible things and meaning them. So the trolls scampered on to their next targets, amassing more followers along the way.

It was during the summer of 2014 that internet trolling boiled over into a mainstream crisis. It began with a seething, accusatory blog post about a video-game developer named Zoe Quinn, written by an ex-boyfriend. What seemed like a small, personal conflict managed to explode into a culture war, complete with bomb threats and harassment campaigns. First came the nihilistic trolls, some even hoping to compel Quinn to “an hero” herself — tittering 4chan code for committing suicide. But as #GamerGate, as it came to be called, grew, it coalesced into a movement that looked awfully political. Despite their self-presentation as ciphers, trolls have always had a point of view, and #GamerGate offered a platform for a whole coalition to express its distrust of media, resentment toward women and anger at progressive critiques of racism and misogyny. They had demands, too: They worked to get journalists fired, to pressure advertisers, to silence feminist critics.

To outsiders, #GamerGate looked like a cesspool of angry, entitled young men nobody else wanted to talk to. But some right-wing figures spied an opportunity. Mike Cernovich, author of a hypermasculine self-help blog called “Danger and Play,” joined the cause. (“I use trolling tactics to build my brand,” he later told The New Yorker.) So did Milo Yiannopoulos, then writing for the website Breitbart News, which helped midwife the controversy from a fringe freakout to a right-wing political perspective. (“I hurt people for a reason,” he said recently. “I like to think of myself as a virtuous troll.”) Donald Trump saw political promise in this world, too: As his White House bid seemed on the brink of collapse last summer, he found a new campaign manager in the Breitbart executive chairman Stephen K. Bannon, a sincere nationalist with trolling tendencies of his own.

‘Performance art can be so hard for normal people to understand.’

Now, Bannon sits on the National Security Council, and many Trump supporters are fusing the trolling ethos with old culture-war tropes, amusing themselves by calling liberals delicate “snowflakes” and delighting at being “in” on Trump’s “joke.” As the right-wing columnist John Feehery put it after Trump’s Feb. 16 news conference: “Performance art can be so hard for normal people to understand.” People like Cernovich — who jumped easily from #GamerGate to the Trump train — have taken to calling their political posture “antifragile,” Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s word for systems that thrive on volatility and stress. Trump, Taleb has said, is “heavily vaccinated because of his checkered history” — nothing new can shame him. Nothing matters.

The troll figure feels as new as the smartphones in our hands, but his trail of destruction stretches deep into history. Toward the end of World War II, Jean-Paul Sartre looked at the anti-Semites of Europe and saw something that still sounds familiar. “Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies,” he wrote in the 1944 essay “Anti-Semite and Jew.” They “are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words.” Anti-Semites “delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert.”

Recently we’ve witnessed a resurgence of this winking Nazi type. PewDiePie, a wildly popular YouTube video-game star, filmed a “prank” in which he hired two men to hold up a sign that said “Death to All Jews.” Pepe the Frog, an online cartoon that morphed into a 4chan meme, has been co-opted by plugged-in fascists who redraw him with swastikas for eyes. And after the white nationalist Richard Spencer, a man who has voiced support for “peaceful ethnic cleansing,” yelled “Hail Trump” at a Washington conference and received Nazi salutes from crowd members, he claimed it was all “ironic.” These days even David Duke, a sincere and straightforward white supremacist, is sharing racist memes and getting called a “troll.” But when Spencer showed up in Washington for the inauguration, explaining his Pepe lapel pin to the press, a masked protester ran up and collapsed all that ironic distance by punching him in the face.

Trolls work through abstraction, leveraging the internet and irony to carve out a space between actions and consequences. Becoming president has blown Trump’s cover: There’s nothing more consequential than this. Trolls are typically outsiders, and sad ones: They don’t fit into the dominant group, so they terrorize it from the sidelines. Part of what makes Trump’s administration so alarming is that the troll sensibility now dominates. And when that happens, it’s reminiscent of what Sartre described: No reason, no principle, just the pure exercise of power.

[awfullyhorriblybadfantrolls]

fabtroll has competition

my life is in pieces - anime troll anon

{what are you taking about, shes beautiful.}

Your name is KAWAII CAPTOR. Well, your full name is KAWAII SERENA K'TANYA AILYAH RHYNTOLIWEN AMPORA RAV'ENWING NEISHA NEKO MARYAM JESSAMENE MERIWHETHER-CAPTOR, but that’s kind of a mouthful. You have all the best INTERESTS and everyone loves you because you’re JUST SO AMAZING KAWAII DESU. You’re also a hybrid of a troll and a human and a god and a cat and a horrorterror, which is why your horns are so beautiful. You have a passion for RIDICULOUSLY ADORABLE ROMANTIC YELLOWBLOODS, namely SOLLUX CAPTOR, who is your matesprit but also kind of your ecto-brother. His ancestor, The Psioniic was the one who saved you from being culled when you were a grub because her knew you were DESTINED FOR GREATNESS so he asked The Condesce to make you HER HEIR instead of that bitch FEFERI. You hate the hemospectrum and plan to ABOLISH IT, however you’ll still be empress of course. You like to program computers, you are NOTORIOUSLY PRETTY AMAZING AT IT, even better than Sollux, but you let him help out sometimes because you love him. When you mature, you aspire to become THE BEST EMPRESS ALTERNIA HAS EVER SEEN, and of course you’ll achieve that goal, because you’re amazing. You like to practice with your REALLY COOL NEEDLES called the THORNS OF OGLOGOTH, and wind up looking like SO INCREDIBLY SEXY THAT TROLLS LINE UP TO FILL A BUCKET WITH YOU. Also, your hive is a giant palace in hell made of sparkly pink brimstone and your lusii are a unicorn and a fairy.

You like to chat with some of your other troll pals, most of which find you THE PERFECT FRIEND, but don’t get on your bad side because you’ve killed hundreds of bitchy trolls (read: VRISKA). You have been trying out a new chat client beta called TROLLIAN, which you invented. Your trolltag is [LU] lightEyesunicornBranch and you speak in a manner that is Ju2t Liike Your Kawwaiiii Mate2priit, 8ut More 2ugoii De2u.

{I honestly think her and fabtroll could be moirails (as long as she sticks with sollux and stays away from Gamzee of course}

[awfullyhorriblybadfantrolls]

what the diddly darn fuckle

(if you would like to use him please ask me first in a note and i will get back to you as soon as possible  {no one will be doing that, thanks}

Name: Caston Almere

Age: 6 sun sweeps (13 human years)

Gender: Male

Blood Color: Jade {uuuuuhhhh}

Troll Tag: catastrophicArtillery

Typing Quirks: capitalizes p, r, e, s, t, o, n, z

Lusus: White owl

God Tier Title: Heir of Dreams 

Powers: to bring things into existence simply by imagining it

Weapons: A guitar the color of his blood color with axe blades attached to the sides of the body

Likes: Music, Art, and Technology.

Dislikes: Spiders, judgmental people, stupid people.

Hobbies: Drawing, Playing guitar, playing videogames.

Personality: Smart, spends most of his time listening to music, tries to help people as best as he can, likes to be social but doesn’t have many friends, is forever alone most of the time.

{this is awful.}

[awfullyhorriblybadfantrolls]

{where the rest of he got dam head????}

Your name is NAHTAN AMUART. Other trolls say there’s something wrong with your name. But you don’t care, you just laugh at them. In fact, YOU LAUGH AT EVERYTHING. That may be caused by some sort of MENTAL ISSUES.

{oh fantastic, its a roller coaster already}

Let’s face it, you aren’t a mindless piece of shit, but you are not completely sane either. Because, is there any other explanation for laughing so often? There probably is. But you can’t deny that there is none for being TOTALLY RANDOM at times.

{oh boy}

Your only interest is STALKING. You just love doing that. That makes people think you are an perverted asshole, but you just let them think that way. Who cares.

{sleep paralysis but its nahan amuart}

Your lusus is a small bat-like creature. You really like him, he’s a funny guy. You wouldn’t be amused if he died. But you’d probably laugh anyway.

Your trolltag is insaneRandomness and {as it wahahahas sahahahaid before you lahahahahaugh a lot}

{I kinda really hope this is some sort of joke. Also can anyone answer whats on his head because I have to say im genuinely confused.}