Ever since I first read Eugene Onegin two years ago, and even more now that I had to reread it for school recently, I've been saying that I've never related to a fictional character more than I relate to Tatyana Larina (not counting my own characters, that is, as they are intentional projections). Particularly the verses about Tatyana's childhood hit very close to home. I've been wanting to talk about it for a while but couldn't find a translation of the book that I liked. So, instead of sleeping, I spent 2 hours absolutely torturing my own brain by coming up with my own translation and I'm way too proud not to share.
Eugene Onegin, chapter 2, verses 25, 26 and 27, translated with the original temp and rhyming scheme intact, by yours truly <3
—
XXV
And so, her sister's named Tatyana.
She seldom catches someone's gaze,
Lacks Olga's beauty, lacks her glamour,
The pink-cheeked freshness of her face.
She's almost feral, quiet with woe,
So quick to startle, like a doe.
And even in her family home
She seemed a child not quite their own.
She hardly ever showed affection,
Both mom and dad would often say.
By window she would spend her day
Alone but for her own reflection,
She judged the children running wild,
Though she herself was still a child.
XXVI
Imagination was her close friend
From infancy. As village days
Kept dragging on without an end,
She'd get lost in her fantasies.
Needle and thread she too avoided,
Fabric was never once embroidered
By her unblemished fingers, for
She found needlework a bore.
An average girl would take her doll,
Sit down with it and start to talk,
Prepare it for the time to walk
Into an upper class grand ball –
To silent dolls during these sessions
Young girls repeat their mothers' lessons.
XXVII
Tatyana never had discussions
With dolls, nor did she play with them;
She never told them of the fashions,
Of city news, and even then
Of toys and games she was quite wary,
She'd rather read of something scary.
In winters, in the dead of night,
Her heart learned how to take a fright.
When for young Olga their old nanny
Would gather up the neighbours' kids
To run and play out in the fields,
Tatyana would act most uncanny:
She never played or ran around,
And found their laughter far too loud.
—
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I always love a beautiful mind 😍
“His own needs, he said, were “to be free, and to be safe and for friends.” He was always, he said, “in fear of ‘death’ (Indian style) through an Armageddon with Iblis...at the Day of Judgement.” Even in these very dark hours he clung to a vision of liberation — which later became, more concretely, a wish for sexual liberation. “I’m hoping fervently to be saved (delivered) before reaching 40 in age,” he had written a few weeks before his birthday. “One cannot substitute free life and love of the 40s for the lost possibilities of the 20s and 30s and also teens.” Nash was acutely aware of the passage of time. “It does seem to me that I’ve been as if the victim of an excessively long wait for liberation...”
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