#author also says scholarship doesn't comment much on this

[shredsandpatches]

Before work this morning I read a book chapter about same-sex desire and the development of modernity in early modern Germany and, like you do if you're talking about capital-M modernity in Germany, it started off with the Faust legend, pointing out that homoeroticism has been part and parcel of the Faust corpus even back when Magister Georg Helmstetter, aka Sabellicus, aka Faustus junior was traveling across Germany causing problems on purpose, even without a Mephistopheles to fuck that old man.

I fear it is gauchely anglocentric of me, but I did raise an eyebrow at the brief survey of sub- or super-textually gay Fausts skipping directly from Faustus Georg to Goethe to Mann (both Manns) without even a nod across the North Sea to the first serious dramatic treatment of the story, however. I mean, yes, it's a chapter focused on Germany but Marlowe was only a couple of steps removed from the German source material (the 1592 English Faustbuch is pretty close to the 1587 Spiers). Granted I don't think Doctor Faustus was much known on the continent, even much later--Goethe read it some time after he finished Faust I--but I think it probably supports the larger point that of all the playwrights working in early modern England it's Marlowe who gloms onto that particular subject matter, even without the German social context. Worth a footnote, anyway.

(NB. I am not seriously offended, just to be clear)

[moncharrow]

water polo player! abby

a/n: hey!! i know i said id be posting for ellie first but this thought hasn't left me for a month. i love the though of this oh my god i am feral. thanks for reading! rb or comment to support a lil fic author :) also i'm gonna be referring to water polo as a super gay sport and that's because it is xoxo i mean high contact with buff women. like.

-content/warnings: 1.4k, mentions of contact sport violence, smut scenes (strap, riding abby, nickname 'beautiful', semipublic sex in a locker room, fingering, oral (both receiving), gn reader but has a pussy, mentions of roughhousing in water/ drowning (not really drowning but yk)

men dni.

water polo is one of the most intense sports- it's high contact, rough, with a high probability of being punched, getting a black eye, etc

but when you're as buff as ms abby anderson here, it's not as big of a deal

there aren't really many set positions in wp, but the most important one is center- placed front-and-center of the goal, they're the person everyone looks to to get a good shot

center has to be dependable, strong, and fast

abby is perfect! her drive is amazing (ahem ahem) and she's constantly swimming like crazy to get into position so her team can rely on her

she started in high school, learning the ropes and getting to know the sport

got crazy good, and was definitely a very proud varsity athlete. she knows she's good, so why shouldn't she flaunt a bit?

im gonna be honest she absolutely wore her varsity jacket for way too long during freshman year in college

she joined her collegiate team (possibly on a small grant/scholarship) and met the most amazing team

it's hard to be queer in sports a lot of the time, but her entire team is queer/allied!! she has a space to be herself which she really appreciates

she blossoms on that team

every girl at her college absolutely drops their panties for her im not even kidding. its not even that fun to her because she just wants someone to love, not just a hookup

((that doesn't mean she rejects them all though))

the pretty center draws crowds to the natatorium

and that includes you, of course

you're a friend of the goalie and you're not all that into sports, but once you hear that the hot girl you've been thirsting over in org. chem is there?? it's all over, goodBYE

you are seated right in the action, front row of the bleachers, cheering in school colors, pretty eyes glimmering in the bright sun, sweat drops dripping down the front of your shirt

abby is fully focused on her game but when she's benched she gets a liiiiiittle distracted ngl

like i said though, she's mostly game face

but after a win? she feels like she's never lost. she's pure confidence and she decides to keep the streak going and see if she can successfully get your number

it's slightly awkward because when abby gets closer she sees that wow you are so much more attractive than she first thought when she had chlorine water in her eyes

so she just doesn't ask you out lolol she bails and bugs the goalie about you for the week leading up to the game, asking who you are, if you're coming next time, if you like this or that

her hands are so large and strong from gripping that ball... just imagine what they could be used for !

her thighs are absolutely massive- she has to stay above the water somehow, and the kicking she has to do has sculpted her into a thunder-thigh goddess

eating her out is insane because she fucking clamps down on your head with her thighs LMAO

broad shoulders that you can hold while riding her

strong shoulders that you grip and squeeze onto for dear life every night before a game as she plows into you for "good luck"

-the room is filled with the rhythmic slapping of her skin against your thighs as she grips your hips and bucks up into you.

"taking it so well for me, huh? my little good luck charm..." and you can't say anything. you just whine as you feel every muscle in her body working overtime to treat you just right

the veins in her forearms throb and pop out as she bounces you up and down, touching and squeezing and groping everywhere she can. she looks up at you cheekily, biting her lips and grinning. "there we go, beautiful, look 't you go"

"i'll be sore tomorrow" she says. it isn't a complaint. she says it's her favorite workout

yeah she says she's done but she's also finger fucking you in the locker room during half-time

-"sorry coach, i'll be quick, i promise!" abby lifts herself out of the pool with pure upper body strength, muscles tensing and water dripping off her like some kind of lesbian wet dream. when she promises haste, she means you'll be quick, because you know the drill. you're already amongst the rows of lockers as abby pushes you against them, sliding past your underwear and shoving her fingers in. her thumb is on your clit, middle and ring fingers finding your g-spot immediately and going at it relentlessly. "think you can do 5 minutes for me, beautiful?

-you can because she won't accept anything else. you're cumming all over her fingers, groaning at the overstimulation as she fucks you through it. when you're done, she pulls out, inserting her fingers into her mouth and cleaning them. you shoot her a playful dirty look as she jogs back out the locker room door

-"thanks for the pep talk, babe!" girl.

she wins every game and says it's because of you

it's sweet, but she's just that good of an athlete

but if you met her because you play too? oh get ready for a whole 'nother world

you're her defense during practice, in the trenches with her and jumping over her shoulders to make sure she doesn't get the ball

but she'll do petty shit to fluster you, like turning and kissing your shoulder and holding your hand in the middle of wrestling for position like ???

-"anderson!" the team captain reprimands. she gives a cheeky smile and puts her game face back on, pinching your thigh underwater where nobody can see

water polo players' love language is straight up drowning people. like the coach yells for everyone to meet him in the corner of the pool and instead she's fucking barrelling toward you, wanting to pull you under

when you're waiting to practice throwing the ball into the goal, she'll slide under the surface and tug at your ankles to pull you

when you come back up, she's giggling like a child and acting like it was another teammate

-"abby, i know it was you, you idiot!" you say, grinning

despite not really having jerseys like in other sports, abby will have you wear her team merch with logos

you wear last year's team shirt to bed, her flannel pants to class, her two-piece tops when you go to the beach with her

you go crazy for her when she's in her polo suit. they're tight so that players can't get grabbed, but it's tight in all the right places

it showcases abby's broad shoulders and slutty waist, curving around her chest and tastefully contouring her back muscles

thank god for this sport, you think

she always complains about how the suit rides up her butt, giving her a slight wedgie, but it gives you perfect access to her tight ass

smacksmacksmack

-"can you hold off for one minute, babe?"

-"no."

it's like there's no person attached to that ass. and she's just as obsessed with yours dw! she uses those big hands to grasp your entire cheek and land a harsh slap! on there that makes you jump. she just smiles n laughs

water polo! abby who takes you out to dinner after games and ends up stealing your food because "ohmygodbabeimsohungryyoudontevenunderstand"

it's like she's never eaten

speaking of eating... (im sorry)

she will throw your legs open when she eats you out. if you try to shut them she'll use the full force of her forearms to pin your thighs down and dig her face deeper in your pussy, sucking and licking like a woman starved

who wrote that. i didn't. anyways..

you put her hair up in a fishtail braid for her !! then she'll ask you to put her swim cap on and give you a cute smile when you screw it up

-"i fucked it up! sorry!"

-"babe it looks great" while she's tucking all her shorter hairs into the bottom of it

if her team is winning by a lot, she'll mess around a bit and point at you after she scores a goal, and you roll your eyes and your face feels hot because she's so ridiculous

but you do feel a lil special.

anyways water polo abby mi amor :3333 take me in the locker room

[gg-university-if]

Okay I have loadsss to say!!!

Apologies in advance! It's a long rant. I'm excited.

Spoilers below!

All my ROs are Male so hence the pronouns my MC is a MLM

1. Beck is the most adorable fucking thing in the history of everything. I love him. Omggggggggggggggggg just how could your brain even come up with such a bean of a dude. He seems so stressed but so sweet. I adored his interaction with Jason it was so funny to read. And how much he actually misses his friend. Loved that I can have a crush on him because come on.

On that note tho:

Can I throw Ethan off a bridge???? Like Jesus dude cut it out. I see I'm gonna have issue with him on a beck route because dude doesn't know when to take a step back and not come off as a di....dingleberry!

2. The farewell with the fam was bittersweet as my MC has very complicated feeling towards the parents but Jace is just the best brother ever. Makes me sad I'm an only child.

3. Sids cute. ♥️ just so cute. Friendly and funny. Quite charming.

4. R is such a little lovebug. I love how we cldnt say no to him. And I had to stand up for him because no one gets to push my roommate around especially if they are really hot.

On that note again: ugh I want to punch Hader so badly... but I also want to romance him.. but I also wanted to throw a can at his head..empty can.. calm down.. 🙄 he can be glad he's hot and that I'm Slightly masochistic when doing IFs.. I also go for the your an asshole but i like you routes.. unfortunately 🥲

5. F seems like he is soooo fun! Very charismatic and DRAMATIC lol

6. Question. You said we would encounter EVERY (yes i saw that) RO.... did I see correctly and is there a secret RO.. and does that mean they are in the chapter? If it's Ethan end me now. It's gonna be an enemy to lovers route cuz he is aloooot.

Hmm what else..

I love the little things. Like choosing our aesthetics. Clothes, dorm room set up. It's a nice touch in customization. You love us awww 😭

Was wondering about customization and if MC is gonna have the option to have any piercings or tattoos their family know nothing about.

Oh I did see a bit of a typo I suppose. After Haders scene and meeting F. After you choose your food in the cafeteria. Instead of saying as you take a "bite out of your chicken katsu curry" it says take a "sip" but that's all I noticed. Also if you ever need beta readers.... 👀👀👀👀

Overall I loved the entire update. I can't wait to interact more with everyone. And as I'm on a music scholarship Hader is gonna have to get used to my MC talking back 🙄 it's great. Your writing is great. This is so fun to read and reading it brought a smile to my face. Thank you for working so hard on it. ♥️

Spoilers under the cut, let's break this down!

I love, love, love all the detail!

So I'll try and answer or have a comment for each bit since you made so much effort to give me feedback when you didn't need to.

Fun fact: Sid and the male form of one of the ROs are actually holdovers from an ill-starred short-lived mlm fic I wrote before GGGLU ever existed.

1. I'm so glad you liked Beck! I was worried that people would get irritated with him or end up not liking his personality but I thought the way I wrote him was most authentic to the story I wanted to tell for his route. He's so exhausted but so willing to help and isn't that just the cutest thing ever?

Ethan is Ethan, you'll definitely get your chance to be snarky and put down some fighting words with Ethan in the future. Infact at no point do you have to come to like him for Beck's Route but I can atleast say that there is a reason that he is Beck's University BFF and to a certain extent in my mind it makes his character a lot more...understandable if not your cup of tea.

2. (Obviously) there's the death of the author and I don't get to dictate how others interpret my writing but I'm so glad that you saw it the same way that I saw that scene when I was writing it because to a certain extent parting is a bittersweet moment for the MC regardless of how they feel about Jace and their parents.

3. Sid is adorable, just a ball of pop punk flavored sunshine. Was definitely one of my favorite characters to write in this part of the chapter and as a music scholarship MC you might be seeing more of them...but I'll shut my mouth for now.

4. Yeah I had debated allowing the MC to deny R and totally skip the cafeteria scene but I thought it was more fun if it was a compulsory event and the idea that R already has so much sway over the MC is sorta funny to me.

Hader is a bag of emotions and definitely stormy ones at that, I can't promise he'll ever be B or R levels of adorable but I can say that Riley wasn't lying when he said Hader isn't always like that and that usually he's a little more hot than scary and broody than angry.

The intended effect for my Hader-mancers was that they would want to punch and kiss him at the same time and seeing as they were already simping I had to ramp up the punching bit.

5. Fred is also good fun to write, I keep on saying this but also one of my favorites to write this time round and also one of the hardest for me. I'm not naturally a very dramatic or big personality so it's hard to write someone who is naturally charming and affable, I'm happy it was able to work somewhat as intended.

6. Hehehe the secret RO is in the demo currently and seeing as they're already implemented it's not a particularly big deal for me to reveal them BUT seeing as you guessed wrong I guess I'll be keeping it a secret for a little while longer.

A little hint: part of the reason H is so angry has to do with our beloved secret RO.

7. Customization is going to come as necessary to the story, things like tattoos and piercings are planned to come in part 2 of chapter one.

At some point you'll have a chance to get bigger tattoos but so early in the story the only tattoos you can have hidden from your parents will be pretty small.

8. I do need beta readers 😭😭😭 but I don't know how to get in contact with anyone through the proper routes and I'm famously awful with Discord amongst my friends.

If I ever figure out how to set up a Discord or interact with readers outside of Tumblr itself through the proper routes of communication then you will definitely be at the top of the list!!!

Finally we're at the end, thank you for giving me such a comprehensive breakdown of your experience. I really couldn't and wouldn't be able to write if it wasn't for your encouragement and excitement to push me forward to write.

I'm glad my writing style is atleast palatable and I'm more than ecstatic that it was able to provide a momentary amount of joy when reading.

Thank you for reading!

[bi-hop]

4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 13 for the fic writer asks!

hehe alright

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

Hm. In general, I'm always pretty proud of the worldbuilding I do. Elf-made and gnome-approved T-gel in Only I See You, plays being forced to only have Noxian elements in My New Boyfriend Has Blood On His Hands?!?, even just the general fact of how subtly wrong the framing fairytale is in Birdcages All The Way Down. I like building off of a world or warping it.

... I REALLY want to say a detail of The Loyal Spouse, but I can't yet-

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

Honestly, for some of my fics, I just wish they'd get comments at all. Does that make sense? I have no specific questions I need in mind. I'm usually happy to answer 'why did you choose to write this exact moment/dialogue' questions though bc I always have an absurd answer.

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

I dunno if this has ever happened to me? I'm always saying shit in the fic directly. But lemme look at my notes real quick.

... Okay, yeah, if you don't read my author's notes, you will NOT know every emoji Laios uses for his friends and teacher. And so the latest chapter's joke might be confusing.

There's just no organic way to mention all of them without someone else going through his phone or something like that, because he doesn't see his sorting system as remarkable.

10. How do you decide what to write?

Copy and pasting this one from an earlier post. It really is just a matter of chance. As in, what am I interested in or hyperfixated on right now? What stories do I think that I am good at telling with this material? What stories do I think are missing in this space?

With Only I See You, for example, I just decided to write it on a whim. I wanted to write about university stuff in a comedy. And that’s what came out. The Loyal Spouse though, which is what I’m also writing right now? It’ll make more sense when the story comes out, but I wanted to write something I wasn’t really seeing being done with Kabru. And that’s all I can say.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

No one is ever going to believe this, but I used to hate stories where manipulative characters were 100 percent accepted in a friend group. Or got much love in general. Part of it, I think, is just that I was dealing with too much at the time. I was railing against the concept of manipulation with no nuance due to the relationships I was being subjected to, especially because multiple people were calling me manipulative to hurt me at the time. You can even see this in my old characters, where I'd always have at least one person who was wise to the cruelty and openly disdainful.

Obviously, now, I write manipulators basically everyday. Hi, Jhin! Hi, Kabru! Hi, [insert OCs] here! And they're all very different, of course, because manipulation on its own doesn't mean much. I could guide someone into giving someone else a scholarship, and I could also make it so they'd never consider giving that money away. (General I, not me. I can't persuade anyone-)

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

Hm... I used to read a lot of soulmate fanfiction when I was little. I got into fanfiction as a thing because I wanted to see two characters from that wizard school series (lmao) get together. And I liked the mini genre of fics where they were destined to be together, where the canon ships they were in were just mistakes or the product of manipulation (lmao, see?), and where they even all seemed to have telepathic links?

I wouldn't say I hate soulmate fanfiction, but the telepathic link and the use of gods to justify it as a thing isn't something I see much. But I can't write it myself or I'll be forever reminded of Harry Potter LMAOOO I can't win

[heretherebedork]

The idea of how teenagers relate to their parents and other adults in their life permeates The Eclipse.

Dika was a freeing influence, one of the few, an adult who supported Ayan, Akk, The World Remembers and likely other students we haven't yet found out about. Dika was kind, open minded and supportive, open to teaching and open to learning and honest with them about what he wanted. He found loyalty and helped them discover themselves in the process.

Chadok is a locked influence but a very powerful one. He has control over both teachers and students and pushes his own agenda and his own ideas. He does not listen, he simple tramples over them as he creates his own ideal idea of what they would be like. He sees nothing but the traditions and the traditional way to be and anything that is not is dismissed. His leadership of the other teachers has lead most of them to a negative place as well because his will is powerful and he has the authority to back it up.

But I really want to talk about their parents and how they relate to them. Because it's such a huge variation that exists in them and such a spectrum of parents in general.

Ayan's mother is loving and kind but she does not see the world the way her son does. She wants peace, she wants to wait, she wants to let the world be quiet and calm. She asks him to back down, to stop fighting, to just let it all go. And Ayan does not hesitate before disobeying her. Although he is hurt she disagrees, he is not going to change because of her. His relationship is distant and though there is love, you can tell that she doesn't understand her son.

Thua's relationship with his mother is warm but distant. He knows she loves him, he knows she supports him, but he also knows that no matter what he says his stepfather is the one in charge and his stepfather is a caustic abusive man who hates him for who he is. Her love doesn't matter in the end because her love can't help him, can't protect him. Her love only hurts him more, in a way, because she might love him but his voice still doesn't feel important. And being made to feel small by the person you know loves you and that you love in return makes it even worse.

Wat obviously loves his parents and wants to please them but also wants to be himself. He's torn between the parental loyalty that his culture and life have taught him matter most and the individual urge to be his own creation, to be his own person, to have his own dreams and follow them. He is loved and he knows he is loved but he doesn't know how to risk that love for the sake of dreams.

We don't know a lot about Kan's parents. Akk says they spoil him and I've seen talk about if his reaction is to what Akk says or to his thoughts about Thua's parents. I lean towards Kan knowing that his parents cannot accept his sexuality and knowing that though they love him with material things and support in school that he also knows that coming out or accepting himself would leave him alone and unloved. He is hurt and scared by the very idea of losing them but also hurting himself to try to be who he thinks he has to be to please them. Kan is just this aching wound covered with a car and tutoring and money but still bleeding because none of that can help.

Akk is the one we truly know the least about. We know he loves his hometown and his rural upbringing, we know he loves his parents and is loved in return, we know he is a scholarship student. But we haven't really heard him say anything about them or anyone else comment on them either. So... I can't say much, honestly. We just don't know yet. I suspect we will soon.

They are all from parents that they know love them but do not love some aspect of them or would not if they knew. All of these boys are trapped in places where the support is limited or non-existent and it shows in their pain and their fears and how they withdraw and get angry and want to disappear and regret falling in love and fear their own dreams.

And a lot of this reflects in how the love each other as well. Ayan loves Akk with joy and amusement and he is not afraid of his love, he is not afraid of what he feels. Akk dislikes what he feels but does not deny it to himself in the end. Kan lives in constant denial and fear and anger, pushing away his feelings even when the pain is evident on his face and in his body. He hates himself and who he is even as he wants nothing more than to act on his urges. Thua shuts down, pulls away, hides himself and puts everyone before himself.

[shirophantomvox]

Random date night with Illumi, Hisoka, and Chrollo

Hello, anon! Ask and you shall receive! This prompt is very interesting and I will try to keep it in character as much as possible. To sum this up, Hisoka would take you to an ice cream shop, a carnival, or apple orchard while Illumi would rather go to an art or historical museum. Chrollo would persuade you to attend a book reading/author signing or go hiking. Depending on who you are and what your ideal date is, I’m sure you’d find them all fun. Going to a carnival or apple orchard is my go-to since I’ve barely been because they’re all in the suburbs. These headcanons are explained much more than the others. That is why Chrollo and Illumi seem to be short, but they’re not. Also, I can’t wait for Halloween because these headcanons are going to be amazing. I am extremely sorry if there are grammar errors! Taking classes on Zoom is frustrating and now my brain has to relearn everything that I lost in 3 months! Before we get started, I have a few announcements.

This post is more laid back than my other headcanons because I tried to keep it as canon as possible.

I want to thank you all for 65 followers! It means a lot! I’m happy to see that a lot of you enjoy my writing and like it enough to follow me! I have a challenge for you! When I reach 100 followers, I will host some type of writing event here...but I need ideas. I’ve seen some pages do specials where you can send an ask and pretend like you're talking to a character and I respond with what they’d say. SEND ME IDEAS! I WILL CREDIT YOU!

I will be stepping back a little more than before. I’ll still be logged in and re-blogging but as far as writing posts like this...it may only be once or twice a week. You see, I’m in college and I’m struggling financially and I have to work on scholarships. If you all send me an ask, be patient.

Voltron posts will only be created based on asks. I will not be writing posts about VLD if no one requests them. I do not receive any feedback from it anymore and no one seems to like them.

Now, let’s get into the post.

Let's start with Illumi first.

Headcanon 1: Illumi has a secret admiration for different types of art but he specifically enjoys pop art and surrealism. He has commented on how surrealism makes his brain twist and his feelings swirl as he tries to figure out the piece and what inspires it.

He prefers not to participate in tours as he likes to digest the art at his own pace.

Headcanon 2: In his spare time, he paints on a canvas. His art style consists of both surrealism and abstract art. For a person with a dark personality, his compositions always contain bright colors and abstract techniques that leave you wondering about his TRUE personality. He is truly a good man with a bright personality but after being abused for so long, those behaviors/personalities have been shoved so far down his throat that they may not come back up.

He has a bad habit of asking you what you thought about every single piece of art you passed. The conversations were great but this is a date after all. The playful conversation slowly turns into a lecture about art. Although you loved your bf’s dictionary-like brain it also drained your energy.

One of his favorite artists is Vincent Van Gough. Although he favors surrealism, Van Gogh’s art style was mind-blowing to him. So amazed that he buys several Van Gogh t-shirts from the gift shop.

His favorite piece created by Van Gough is “Starry Night”.

He notices that you are becoming bored and decides that it is time for MORE excitement, one that you are certain to enjoy.

“Where are we going,” you ask, pretending to be interested.

“Down to the basement. We are going to have a bite to eat.”

Since Illumi rarely smiled, when he did smile it drove you wild. The anticipation of what his next move was going to be is what drove that wildness. Being a bounty hunter was thrilling already but dating a smart, badass assassin was totally out of your league but it worked out.

Headcanon 3: Illumi’s idea of being romantic is dramatically different from yours. He believes just spending time with you on the couch was enough. He is correct; but if you have the time and funds, your time together should be a little spontaneous. You insisted on dates outside of the house because his family will not stay out of your business.

“Illumi, I am too hungry for more trivia.”

He chuckles. “Don’t worry. So am I. That is why I’ve decided to take you to a wine and cheese party.”

Huh? Wine and Cheese at 3PM? That’s ok. When was there a time limit on when you can drink alcohol?

Illumi has indirectly attended parties as such when he was 15 years old. He never drank, but he watched as his mother’s friends (surprisingly) talked about business and their children. This time, you weren’t going to talk about business for once. Instead, you two were going to actually talk about what couples discuss.

Headcanon 4: When introduced to alcohol for the first time, Illumi immediately stated how he hated brown liquor. That includes Hennessy, Jack Daniels, etc. It makes him sick to his stomach. He prefers to drink Smirnoff mixed with fruity drinks like strawberry or pineapple.

He loves it when you make these drinks for him on a summer day.

Hence the title wine and cheese, you both go to a stand-up table, place your brochures down, and actually have a wonderful conversation not involving work or hunting.

Illumi smiled a few times, more than usual. Whenever he appears to be softer even around you, that is because he has mellowed out and doesn't have the overbearing weight of his family on his shoulders. You set him free.

Hisoka

According to a one-shot that another manga artist created, they expressed that Hisoka was found on the side of the road, was taken in by someone that worked at a local circus, and learned Nen in a matter of days. Hisoka’s clown look and having the skills of a magician proves that this has to be canon in some way.

Headcanon 1: Given this potential backstory, going to a carnival is his go-to every summer. He wants to take you to a circus but saves that for you as an engagement gift.

Everyone with a heart knows that whether or not you’re in a relationship or not the carnival is fun as hell! Expensive fried food, elephant ears, funnel cake, ICEE’s, rides, and stuffed animals are to die for!

Being at a carnival relaxes him so his bloodlust isn’t activated unless someone bumps into him and causes a scene.

Headcanon 2: PDA is something that Hisoka does well; he doesn’t overdo it but does it enough where people get the impression that you are a couple and aren’t “best friends”.

While completing a mission depending on how rough it may be, he insists that you tag along to see how he handles the situation. You’ve already seen his ruthlessness from Hunter’s exam but he insists.

His sense of pride gets the best of him sometimes. Sometimes his head is so big that it reminds you of a large birthday balloon.

Headcanon 3: ANYWAY, given his nature, he is very adventurous, dangerous, and courageous. If he wants to go on the Demon Drop, he’ll do it and you DO not have a choice in the matter. He’ll tease or guilt trip you into doing something that you would not like to do.

“Well, you wouldn’t want me to cling on to someone else, would you?”

“No. Of course not,” you reply.

“Let’s go then, scaredy-cat.”

As a hunter, you’ve seen worse. Why are you so afraid to go on a ride?

Headcanon 4: At apple orchards, cornfield mazes are one of his favorites. You cannot for the life of you figure out how to get out but he can. He grabs a scarecrow and scares you from behind. That annoys you but is nothing compared to later on that night.

Oh. My. God. It’s haunted house time!

“Hisoka, I’m not going in!”

“Why not? I’ll protect you.”

“Because they’re monsters and I already have to deal with one.”

It took him a second to catch on that you were talking about him.

“That’s going to bite you in the butt, kitten.”

Headcanon 5: Like Killua, Hisoka has a sweet tooth. Don’t allow his buff appearance to fool you!

He LOVES caramel apples, elephant ears, funnel cake, freshly squeezed lemonade, fudge, and cotton candy. How can this man manage to stay in shape? The world may never know.

Headcanon 6: He isn’t one to play by other people’s rules but he sets his own rules with your relationship that you both must obey. One of those rules says that neither of you can be on your phones while together.

Headcanon 7: Hisoka insists that you both wear either matching pants or matching shirts to avoid unnecessary flirtation.

He isn’t jealous but on “us time”, he doesn’t want to lose a single second.

Headcanon 8: Hisoka only jumps in when necessary. Given that you’ve passed the hunter’s exam and work as a bodyguard, he knows you can handle your business. If the person can’t take a hint, then he steps in. They almost back up immediately considering Hisoka is towering over them.

When the moon shines, you both go to the car and off to sleep in your comfy king-sized bed.

Chrollo

We all know that Chrollo loves to read! What does he specifically like to read? What Genre? Does he like to read alone or with other people?

Although Chrollo is a thief and must be hidden in the shadows, the authorities have called off the search for him for at least 3 years. Slowly but surely, he begins to find himself in the outside world again.

Chrollo once discussed a book with the Phantom Troupe when they were being transported to another place for a mission. He read “Tears of a Tiger” by Sharon M. Draper.

The reading sessions are opened with an affirmation and a reason to be thankful to be alive. He says he is thankful for the troupe, glances at you, and smiles. No one catches on to that sly face except for Phinks.

Headcanon 1: Chrollo is very silent and shy to an extent. He only associates with people he knows and trusts. You are the social butterfly at this moment.

Chrollo tags along behind you like a shy child, holding your hand while you stick out your free hand to greet everyone.

Today, the book club was going to read “Divergent”.

Headcanon 2: Although he loves to read, he hates it when others read out loud. Most people are drably read and it annoys him. After a while, he takes over. Chrollo was tense the first 30 minutes of the meeting because two cops were there but neither of them noticed it was him.

Headcanon 3: Chrollo often acts the part of the character that he is reading in the book. His tone, attitude, and emphasis on certain words keep the group engaged. He is complimented on his acting!

“Good Job, honey,” you whisper.

He responds by tightly squeezing your hand.

His tone was so impressive that the host insisted that he read for the entire night. He was ok with that because in between reads he was often distracted by a lovely pair of jeans and shoes you had on. You were into writing, so hearing others read and act out the characters helped.

Headcanon 4: In some settings, Chrollo is very braggadocious. He insisted that the group read one of your stories so you could be provided with feedback.

“We’d be delighted to view your story, y/n!”

“It will be fun!”

The book club wasn’t a stereotypical club that only consisted of soccer moms but instead consisted of men and women who were involved with a business, law enforcement, health, etc. This was an open space for everyone to relax and forget about their demanding jobs.

After the meeting, the group went to dinner at a nearby pizzeria. You all enjoyed large pizzas, beer, salads, and dessert. How could your stomach (or anyone’s stomach) hold that much?

Chrollo laughed so much that it made you question if he was your actual boyfriend or not. He even engaged in conversations with the two off-duty cops! For once, you helped Chrollo experience the greater things in life; true love, friendship, and happiness.

“Thank you,” he whispered and slyly placed a kiss on your hand. “For everything.”

[tinyboxxtink]

"Clueless" *Part 1*

So I got an ask that had an idea that was as follows (copy/pasted from actual ask):

"y/n is a college grad student and she goes to a friends party, y/n doesn't wanna get drunk so she sneaks into the kitchen and pours her drink out, that's where we meet ADA Barba, who is y/n's friends stepbrother, (THE FRIEND'S BROTHER NOT Y/N). Anyway, y/n is SUPER into Barba, but will Barba be into her as well? Will he finally make a move OR will he forever shoves his feelings back in and lie saying its the age gap? We will never know."

So I LOVE that they clarified that it was the FRIEND'S STEP BROTHER, not the reader's. However, that got me thinking the movie Clueless.

[If you don't know it, at the end the girl realizes she's in love with her ex stepbrother and they get together.]

Yes I realize he's NOT the stepbrother of the reader, I didn't make it like that don't panic. But the name stuck in my head because you know, he's "Clueless" to her feelings about him, and vice versa.

Also I threw an actual line commenting on the movie to tie in.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the beginning and I really hope the anon likes it. I'm not ENTIRELY sure where this is gonna go, but I have some idea. I hope you guys like it. Please like it.

ALSO ALSO totally picturing "Ariel" as "Cher" now. Help.

Tagging the usual's, let me know if you hate this and wanna be taken off. Or if you wanna be added! Especially the anon who asked for this!!! I'm about to message some of you that keep liking it and hiding, you know who you are. AHEM AHEM @garturbo

@milkshqke

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@gibbs274

@lolliepopsicle

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

Part 2 Here

You walked into the kitchen of your best friend Ariel’s South Hampton beach house, looking for the sink. Well, it wasn’t so much “hers”, as her mother’s. Well, her mother’s husband’s house. At the moment, anyway.

You were stuck in the middle of a rager she had decided to throw as a “Celebration” of graduating from Harvard. “Graduating” being going there for four years about half the time, and husband #2 paying for some kind of paper that had some authority saying she had some kind of formal education.

You really were clueless to how Ariel’s world worked; you were just there for the ride. You were her roommate freshman year, and she “adopted” you as her “project”. She had given you a “makeover”, introduced you to all kinds of new people, constantly bought you things, paid for your food and your books, though she didn’t see the point in having them.

You went along with it all because well, to be honest you needed her. You had barely made it into Harvard with an academic scholarship, and that ONLY covered tuition for four years. And at any point in those four years your GPA dropped below a 3.7, your scholarship would be kaput. If you hadn’t met Ariel, you probably would have to have gotten three jobs just to pay for food and books, and then stress yourself so far you would’ve been a mess.

She was your guardian angel.

But now here you were, graduated and free, and yet still after your ceremony Ariel had IMMEDIATELY found you and dragged you to a private airport, where you flew to The Hamptons, and somehow the house had filled with people you had never seen in your life; and you were pretty sure Ariel didn’t know them-- then again, Ariel seemed to know EVERYONE.

Anyway, back to the present situation. You walked around the trashed kitchen looking for the sink so you could pour out some concoction Ariel had gotten from a random guy; you were convinced it had been roofied. Of course, she chased after you.

“Y/N!!!! Don’t waste alcohol!!!!!!” She screeched, running after you frantically.

“Yeah, wouldn’t want that,” You suddenly heard a man’s voice from behind you. It was sudden, and right behind you so it scared you, causing you to slosh the contents on whoever it was. You focused your gaze to see a man considerably older than you would believe would be attending a party like this, dressed in a dark blue polo and jeans. He stepped back in disgust as you gasped in fear.

“Oh my god, Oh my god I am SO sorry--” You immediately grabbed a hand towel from the counter and started dabbing at the quickly forming stain.

“Oh my GOD, don’t even apologize to him Y/N,” You heard Ariel’s drunken angry voice behind you.

“Lovely to see you too, Ariel,” The man rolled his eyes, grabbing more paper towels and dabbing his shirt with water.

“I’m so sorry, really I--” You kept trying to apologize, but Ariel stomped over and took the towel from you.

“Don’t help him,” She scoffed, tossing the towel across the room. You looked at her in disbelief.

“Please don’t be her dad, PLEASE don’t be her dad….” You mentally prayed to yourself. He was far too handsome to be her dad, right?

“What are you even doing here, Captain Buzzkill?” Ariel snapped. “You literally have NO claim on this house,”

“Your mother got an alert that someone had broken into this house, and asked me to check on it,” The man replied calmly, shaking his shirt to dry it.

“Why call YOU? Your dad didn’t own this house, and he was married to my mom for like five seconds!”

“Technically you don’t own this house either, Ah-riel,” He smirked while using the “Sebastian from the Little Mermaid” pronunciation of her name,

“I have more claim on it than YOU, Rafe,”

Rafe? Was that even a name? And claiming? What were they talking about?

“And because I’m the only reliable guy she has right now, since husband #4 took off,” He chuckled. “Plus, I’m the closest, and--”

“She doesn’t want to deal with me,” Ariel finished his sentence. You could swear you saw her face drop to a hint of sadness, but it was almost instantly covered by her annoyed scowl.

“So...he’s your step brother?” You finally asked her after a minute of trying to figure out the convoluted family tree in your head.

“EX Stepbrother,” Ariel rolled her eyes.

“Rafael Barba,” The man extended his hand to you.

“Y/N….” You smiled, shaking his hand.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Ariel stepped between you and broke the hand contact.

“....This isn’t like some, weird ‘Clueless’ situation, where you two are actually in love with each other or something?” You raised an eyebrow at Ariel. They both immediately began to squash that question.

“Absolutely NOT,”

“Oh my god FUCK no!” They both said instantaneously.

“First of all, Paul Rudd was only like what, three years older than Cher? Not THIRTY,” Ariel made a gagging noise.

“I’m NOT--” He immediately jumped on her comment. “I am NOT 30 years older than her,” He added quickly, as if he wanted you to know he was not that old.

“Second of all, he was PAUL RUDD, not-- this,” Ariel giggled in amusement, like thinking Rafael was attractive was the most idiotic thing in the world. You tried not to act offended.

“Listen, Boston Barbie--”

“Um excuse YOU, Professor Pompous, we all graduated from the same school,” Ariel gestured between the three of you. “So don’t act like you’re better than us,”

“Oh right, except I got in on an academic scholarship, and you got in by the ‘Mommy and Daddy #2 Foundation’ scholarship,” He smirked.

“Oh hey me too!” You suddenly chimed in with a smile. “...I mean, the academic scholarship, not the--” You trailed off nervously, feeling your cheeks turn red. You usually weren’t so chatty with people you had JUST met, especially not older handsome guys with green eyes like emeralds.

“Really?” He gave you an actual genuine smile. “...Then why are you hanging out with her?”

“EXCUSE you, I saved her from four years of social hell,” She wrapped a protective arm around you. “I fed her, I clothed her, I got her into ALL the best parties--”

“So she’s YOUR Barbie?” Barba crossed his arms with a smirk.

“Hey!” You snapped at him but immediately threw a hand over your mouth. You were never so bold. To your relief, his expression softened into apologetic.

“I’m so sorry, that was supposed to be a dig on her, not you, Y/N--”

“Oh WHATEVER,” Ariel spoke over him again with a snide tone. “Don’t act like a nice guy now, Counselor Crabby,”

He was a lawyer too? You were quickly beginning to have more in common with Rafael than your own best friend.

“Oh you’re a lawyer too?” You asked again at the risk of being mocked again. Instead, Rafael’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Yeah, I’m the ADA of New York City,” He replied with a bright smile. Thank god Ariel had a hold on you, you felt your knees go weak.

“Really? Oh wow, I’m going to NYU Law in the fall I’d love to--” You started to ramble on about academic inquiries, something you were fluent in over social gatherings.

“Alright, that’s enough ‘book speak’, you two,” Ariel waved her hands in between you and Rafael like she was dissolving some hold you had on each other.

“Actually, Ariel--” You looked at her with your big doe eyes. “Wouldn’t you rather get back to-- whoever that is?” You nodded at a very chiseled blonde haired himbo staring at Ariel.

“...And leave you here with “Assistant Dick Attorney” here?” Ariel eyed the two of you. “I’m sure he has a self imposed curfew, don’t you grandpa?”

“And leave you unsupervised to add property damage to the house? I don’t think so,” Rafael shook his head, and to your delight looked surprisingly eager to talk with you alone.

“Pffffftt….whatever,” Ariel shrugged with a roll of her eyes. “Y/N looks like she’s got a bookworm boner for you anyway,” She winked at you as you gasped in horror.

“ARIEL,” You almost screamed. You quickly looked at Rafael with a horrified look on your face.

“She’s-- I’m not-- That’s--” Words were usually your thing, but the absolute terror of social anxiety was running rampant through your brain leaving no room for anything else. Rafael rolled his eyes and stepped between you and Ariel, almost like he was protecting you.

“I know this may be a foreign concept to you, Ah-riel. But a guy and a girl can have an actual conversation WITHOUT thinking about sex,”

He didn’t miss a beat, didn’t flinch or stutter. He was cool and calm, his words were smooth like a silver tongued snake. Maybe HE wasn’t thinking about sex-- however for the first time in almost four years, you DEFINITELY were.

“Uh huh,” Ariel gave you a knowing smile. “Sure, whatever you say-- BRO,” She rolled her eyes and walked back into the living room with her Himbo.

“...And she’s your ‘best friend?” Rafael gave you a look.

“It’s a...long story,” You shrugged, knowing the nature of you and Ariel’s friendship would need a diagram to explain.

“Well, I’ve got time,” He smiled, nodding to the sliding back door of the kitchen. Your eyes widened, your cheeks turned pink for the 10000th time. Was he-- did he-- don’t question it, just GO.

“Y-Yeah sure!” You nodded nervously while twirling your hair.

He smiled and turned to walk out the door, making sure you were following him.

This night suddenly got interesting,....

[beyond-crusading]

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography (2021)

If you're interested I saw an update about this book on the Facebook page Medieval Updates:

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography, eds. Alicia Spencer-Hall and Blake Gutt (Amsterdam University Press Academic, April 2021)

The editors

In her thesis, Alicia Spencer-Hall "examined a series of thirteenth-century female saints' lives in dialogue with modern film theories" and also worked on chronic pain in the Middle Ages.

Blake Gutt is a younger researcher who - I understand - worked on French and Occitan literature, before specializing in gender identity in the Middle Ages.

Apparently it's an attempt at applying the methods and concepts of modern queer theory to medieval hagiography !

Official Summary:

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography presents an interdisciplinary examination of trans and genderqueer subjects in medieval hagiography. Scholarship has productively combined analysis of medieval literary texts with modern queer theory – yet, too often, questions of gender are explored almost exclusively through a prism of sexuality, rather than gender identity. This volume moves beyond such limitations, foregrounding the richness of hagiography as a genre integrally resistant to limiting binaristic categories, including rigid gender binaries. The collection showcases scholarship by emerging trans and genderqueer authors, as well as the work of established researchers. Working at the vanguard of historical trans studies, these scholars demonstrate the vital and vitally political nature of their work as medievalists. Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography enables the re-creation of a lineage linking modern trans and genderqueer individuals to their medieval ancestors, providing models of queer identity where much scholarship has insisted there were none, and re-establishing the place of non-normative gender in history.

Full contents:

Introduction -- Alicia Spencer-Hall and Blake Gutt, "Following the Traces: Reassessing the Status Quo, Reinscribing Trans and Genderqueer Realities"

"Assigned Female at Death: Joseph of Schönau and the Disruption of Medieval Gender Binaries" -- Martha G. Newman

"Inherited Futures and Queer Privilege: Capgrave’s Life of St Katherine" -- Caitlyn McLoughlin

"Juana de la Cruz: Gender-Transcendent Prophetess" -- Kevin C.A. Elphick

"Non-Standard Masculinity and Sainthood in Niketas David’s Life of Patriarch Ignatios" -- Felix Szabo

"Peripheral Vision(s): Objects, Images, and Identities" -- ?

"Gender-Querying Christ’s Wounds: A Non-Binary Interpretation of Christ’s Body in Late Medieval Imagery" -- Sophie Sexon

"Illuminating Queer Gender Identity in the Manuscripts of the Vie de sainte Eufrosine" -- Vanessa Wright

"The Queerly Departed: Narratives of Veneration in the Burials of Late Iron Age Scandinavia" -- Lee Colwill

"Genre, Gender, and Trans Textualities" -- ?

"St Eufrosine’s Invitation to Gender Transgression" -- Amy V. Ogden

"Holy Queer and Holy Cure: Sanctity, Disability, and Transgender Embodiment in Tristan de Nanteuil" -- Blake Gutt

"The Authentic Lives of Transgender Saints: Imago Dei and imitatio Christi in the Life of St Marinos the Monk" -- M.W. Bychowski

"Epilogue. Beyond Binaries: A Reflection on the (Trans) Gender(s) of Saints" -- Mathilde van Dijk

It looks interesting ! I'm particularly curious about the non-binary interpretation of the body of Christ... and also about the "gender transcendent prophetess" (very cool title btw). I'm sure there is an interesting relationship between gender and sainthood in the Middle Ages, especially when it comes to women saints.

----

(Personal thoughts)

But I've got to say, I am a little concerned with the risks of anachronism though ? It would be a problem to attribute to medieval people ideas that didn't exist at the time.

I also hope the people in the book are not arguing for a strict biological determinism when it comes to gender. It would be bad if the book argued that our modern categories of gender are 100% determined by your genes just so they can apply an anachronistic method to medieval hagiography.

For example, when the authors say they want to allow "the re-creation of a lineage linking modern trans and genderqueer individuals to their medieval ancestors", I think this is well meaning but I hope it doesn't lead the authors to describe medieval reality in a way that medieval people wouldn't understand.

But HEY, what I'm doing now is literally judging a book by its cover so let's keep it "It looks interesting". Do tell me what you think about it, in the comments or in asks.

PS: That book cover does not look good. I like the politics but this is just bad graphic design.

[swanlake1998]

Pointe Magazine Article: Chloé Lopes Gomes Speaks Out About Racial Harassment at Staatsballett Berlin

By: Chloé Lopes Gomes As Told To Laura Cappelle

Date: December 1, 2020

(tw: racism, anti black racism, abuse)

In November, the French dancer Chloé Lopes Gomes went public with accusations of institutional racism against Staatsballett Berlin, first reported by the German magazine Der Spiegel. In the article, several anonymous dancers confirm her account. Lopes Gomes, 29, who trained in Marseille and at the Bolshoi Ballet Academy, danced for the Ballet de l'Opéra de Nice and Béjart Ballet Lausanne before joining Staatsballett Berlin as a corps de ballet member in 2018, under then co-directors Johannes Öhman and Sasha Waltz. After the company told her in October that her contract, which ends in July, would not be renewed, she shared her story with Pointe.

I didn't know I was the first Black female dancer at Staatsballett Berlin when I joined the company in 2018. I learned that from German journalists who came to interview me almost immediately. I grew up in a mixed-race family—my mother was French, my father from Cape Verde—and I was educated to believe that we all have the same opportunities.

My brother and my sister also went to prestigious dance schools [her brother, Isaac Lopes Gomes, is now a dancer with the Paris Opéra Ballet], and I didn't really think about my skin color while I was training. I spent four years at the Bolshoi Ballet Academy. I didn't necessarily feel safe in the streets in Russia because people stared at me, but I was still awarded scholarships and my teacher loved me.

I quickly realized that auditions and company life were a different story. The day after my audition in Berlin, in early 2018, one particular ballet mistress told a colleague of mine in the company that she didn't think the Staatsballett should hire me because a Black woman in a corps de ballet isn't aesthetically pleasing. This ballet mistress was in charge of the corps, and for over two years, she discriminated against me because of my skin color.

That colleague warned me before I started, but I was hopeful I would also work with other ballet masters. No such luck: I was under her supervision 90 percent of the time, and we started with Swan Lake. I was one of six new women, and the ballet mistress immediately took a dislike to me. She bombarded me with corrections, and when the premiere arrived, she told me that all the women needed to color their skin with white powder. I told her that I would never look white, and she replied: "You'll just put on more powder than the others."

I spoke to Johannes [Öhman, co-artistic director at the time], who decided I should stay as I was. The ballet mistress took the fact that I went to him as an affront, as if I'd undermined her authority, and she started saying overtly racist things.

Since I didn't speak German and she didn't speak English, we communicated in Russian initially, so my colleagues didn't understand when she would say casually: "You're not in line and that's all we see because you're Black." And then, when she was handing out the Shades' veils for La Bayadère, she got to me and laughed, in front of other dancers: "I can't give you one: The veil is white and you're Black."

I again told Johannes, who said it was unacceptable but explained to me that she had a lifetime contract, which means you're untouchable in Germany. Johannes asked if I wanted him to talk to her, and I said no, because I was worried it would get even worse.

I was so anxious and unwell that I ended up with a metatarsal fracture. I should have been back after two months, but six months later, I was still in pain, and the doctors didn't know why—until a neurologist told me it was linked to stress and prescribed antidepressants. Suddenly, the pain went away completely.

Johannes left Staatsballett Berlin abruptly last January. On the day he announced it, the ballet mistress told me that now I was going to have to use white powder. I ran into the current interim director, Christiane Theobald, in a hallway while in makeup for Swan Lake. She asked why I had whitened my skin and said that I wasn't supposed to do it, but the ballet mistress was in charge of rehearsals and didn't leave me much choice. I felt like the company's ugly little duckling.

This ballet mistress also had me and a few colleagues re-create a painting of a Black dancer surrounded by white dancers. When I asked what the photo was for, she said she wanted to show her friends that they had "one of those" too in the company, as if I were a zoo animal.

My colleagues didn't want to take the picture, but there is an atmosphere of fear in the dance world. The ballet masters are the ones who are in the studio with us all the time, who hold the keys to our evolution. If you're on a one-year or two-year contract, it's very easy for the company not to renew it, whereas some ballet masters are employed for life. They're more privileged than even some directors, and that creates a power imbalance: We should be on an equal footing contract-wise.

The Staatsballett doesn't have a safe way to report discrimination or harassment, and there was still blackface in the repertoire when I joined. In Nutcracker, some children were required to paint their faces black, while I stood in the corps behind them.

I was called to a pre-dismissal meeting with Christiane Theobald in October. She did not dance professionally, so she said she relied on the ballet masters' advice. I was told that they needed to let some dancers go due to COVID, and that I would be happier in a smaller company, because I hadn't been onstage much. I explained why that was, and what had happened to me. She admitted it was terrible but said my race wasn't the reason they were firing me.

I know I was fired because I'm Black. From the beginning, I didn't stand a chance. Christiane Theobald is part of an old-fashioned system: She has worked for the company's administration since 2004, and she let me go even after I told her about the racism I encountered. My contract runs through July 31: I've been cast in reduced, COVID-friendly versions of Giselle and Swan Lake and I still want to work.

There is still this idea in the ballet world that you have to suffer to make it. We—the younger generation—can't accept that anymore. Ballet must reflect society. I don't want to be abused just to be able to dance. I want to be happy in my life, not just when I step onstage.

Editor's note: In a statement to Pointe, Theobald, who cannot comment on personnel matters, says that an internal investigation into Lopes Gomes' allegations is underway, and that the company plans to conduct antiracism training and workshops for all employees. "I am sorry to see that there is an employee at the Staatsballett Berlin who had to endure a very stressful situation for a long time and that the situation could not be resolved beforehand. Discrimination and racism is a highly sensitive issue that is of importance to society as a whole, including the Staatsballett Berlin. It is very important to me to live a discrimination-free corporate culture and to implement it where it does not yet exist 100 percent."

[typical-atheist-scumbag]

@anti-karens yes, because you know my life so much better than I do, right? You don't know anything about the hardships I've been through. Maybe YOU feel like you have some kind of privilege because of your skin color, but that doesn't mean I do. Last I checked, it didn't get me into college or out of poverty. (I'm still poor and trying to get back into school.) It didn't stop me from nearly getting murdered and then getting mistreated by police, (if anything my color made it so people cared less when it happened to me.):it didn't get me a job. (There still aren't jobs or schools with white people quotas but plenty of jobs and schools with other race quotas. ) It didn't make anyone take me seriously any of the other times I've been in danger, it's definitely not helped get any of my abuse or trauma taken seriously. The police and every authority figure I've ever gone to in a time of dire need has ignored me and/or made that dire situation worse. This isn't something that ONLY happens to PoC. They're just the ones who get more attention when they talk about it.

These are just some of the things "privilege" was supposed to protect me from, but it didn't. If you wanna know some of my discrimination horror stories, details of mistreatment by police and other authority figures and the daily stares, stigma and probably suspicions I deal with when I go out, feel free to reply back. Leaving your stupid smug emojis and comments about benefiting from "privilege" I don't and will never have doesn't make you right. You can't just assume I've had it easy just because my skin looks a certain way. Especially when I'm part of several other "oppressed" groups. I don't believe minorities are privileged or anything like that, but I'm really tired of racist pieces of shit like you telling me things that have happened to me can't/don't happen to me because of my skin color.

Also, yes, I'm very well aware of what white privilege is, thank you very much. None of the examples they give for it have been true, in my case. I'm aware that my experience may be different in some ways because I'm queer and disabled, and some other things but I don't see any privilege here.

Also, again I'll point out...

There are no scholarships, organizations, quotas, groups, etc for whites. There are all of those things for others. So how am I benefiting from any of the other things I've listed? Wanna back up your claim? Also, how do white people get to not take responsibility for their actions? They still suffer consequences when they do things wrong. There are certain things they even get punished more harshly for.

One thing I will say about this post is that it's old and I'm much harsher in it than I would be nowadays.

Until my white privilege...

Gets me a spot in college. Gets me a job. Allows me to NEVER have to take responsibility to my own life. Allows me to spout a bunch of crazy rhetoric and never have to show any evidence for it. Grants me access to safe spaces, clubs and scholarships based on my race. Allows me to claim racism every time someone calls me out for being an idiot. Makes only my issues important. Allows me to scam guilty people out of their money through guilt for something they didn’t even do. Allows me to be a dog my entire life and then attack a cop and have the entirety of society turn against the cop for defending him or herself against me, despite the fact that white people are far more affected by police brutality. ( you are welcome to either look this up or message me for a link.) Or allows me to do anything else that minorities full well know that they can get away with or gain through being a minority, shut up about my white privilege! You have no proof and you’ve never been able to provide it! It simply doesn’t exist!