#austin and ally fanfiction
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purest of them all
fandom: austin butler rating: m pairing: biker austin butler x female reader word count: 3425 warnings: possessive behavior. p in v sex ( unprotected ). biker austin. sex in front of a mirror. virginity sex. implied past oral ( m and f receiving ). implied depression-ish on austin's part. stomach bulges caused by cocks. me mildly fudging what a first time feels like though truthfully they come in all shapes and sizes. author’s note: welcome to day 12 of ally’s wet hot smut summer, virginity kink/innocence kink with austin butler. so i went biker austin with this because uh i was really struggling with this prompt and that's where the writing flowed. consider this kind of a precursor to the day two fic of show 'em. beyond that, i do hope y'all enjoy and if you uh saw the naked version of this fic. no you didn't. i also am mildly unsure i stuck to this prompt. but i think i have mentioned austin is a little harder for me to write nowadays for a number of reasons so it kind of was me going with what i could write versus deleting ten more drafts. also this is one of two fics getting posted today, because hey, cold had me down for the count for a while so why not feed y'all twice in one day.
You're not the type Austin usually goes for and he figures maybe that's a part of your charm. Figures that if you were like every other woman who's wanted to crawl onto his bike, he'd have taken you to bed and been done with you. Sure, he'd have treated you right but Austin— wouldn't have stayed the night. He wouldn't have allowed himself to fall so head over heels for you that he'd give you everything you could even think to ask him for.
You are a light in the tunnel that is his life, a goal to strive for and a promise of perhaps making it on the straight and narrow. You were also perhaps one of the most innocent people he had ever met, one of the purest people he had ever met. An angel wrapped in sweaters and comfortable clothes to suit your mood. An angel who for some reason likes to spend almost all of your free time with him, brightening his days as much as you can. Tonight is no exception though for once he's not doing anything club related and can just focus on you.
The two of you rarely go on public dates, something about how he doesn't want people to use you against him and doesn't want you to be hurt until you've decided you truly want to be a part of his life as it is now. Until you realize just what being with him in this period of his life truly entails. Part of your charm may be that innocence and pure light that emanates from you but it's also something he couldn't bare to ruin in any way that was less than pleasurable.
Still, he makes exceptions for important dates and what was more important than your anniversary. Those sort of things deserved a proper date with you curled against him inhaling his natural musk and cologne. He could move his head and smell your shampoo and just this once he could allow the both of you to enjoy a simple date. Nothing could have prepared him for the present you were going to give him tonight.
The thing about you that you've told Austin before is that you're a virgin. At the time he had laughed a little and made a joke about that's why you were so sweet and innocent only to earn a subtle slap to his arm and a warming of your skin that had him kissing any embarrassment you had away. It's not that you hadn't wanted to lose it, but when one grows up religious you either are promiscuous in spite of your parents' desires or you aren't. In college you had thought it was going to happen eventually, that you'd meet someone that maybe you'd fall in love with and they'd take your virginity or perhaps you'd lose it at a party or just some way that wasn't too heinous.
Life happens though and you were always too busy, even through law school you found yourself so busy and with nary a moment to yourself. You suppose it's funny how you met Austin so soon after finishing law school and finding a job. If you were the type to believe in fate you'd have said that you were destined to meet Austin then and only then. You're not, though and it's merely a coincidence— a happy one, mind— but a coincidence nonetheless. Whatever the case was, over the past year you've realized that you and Austin need each other— not in a sort of codependent way but one where you bring out the best in each other.
He's never pressed for you to have sex with him, sure the two of you have fooled around, with him between your legs his tongue on your clit and you between his legs, tongue tracing the veins of his cock and inhaling the unique musk from between his legs. But going all the way hasn't been something you've ever felt he needed you to do— were required to do to keep him in your bed. Perhaps that's why you found yourself finally read to actually go all the way with him. Perhaps that's why you felt the need for everything to be special. It's not that you needed to be. But after the amount of waiting Austin has gone through and after the patience he had shown you, it only seemed prudent to make sure both of you could take your time. It seemed like a good idea to allow him to show you the pleasure you had only been given hints of before.
It's for all those reasons that you found yourself opening your door in a new dress with a simple pair of matching white underwear underneath. Austin would enjoy the laugh, you think, his virginal girlfriend all dolled up in white panties. Probably make a joke about how he didn't think you could still wear them after all the times he had tasted your release on his tongue.
Austin's gaze has your heart fluttering inside your chest. The man who always looks so tough and tries to keep himself shuttered is looking at you as if you've hung the moon, the stars and everything in between. If you look hard enough there's even a hint of hunger for you but it's gone in a flash as he smiles. "You look nice."
A shrug is your only response as you step outside and pull him into a hug as you shut your door. "It's date night, why wouldn't I?" You smile back and bite at your lip. "Aus?"
His eyes for a moment stop flitting around the area, checking for anything that could cause you harm before he stares you down. "Hm?"
"After dinner, do you mind staying the night? I— I have a surprise I think you might enjoy." A surprise you hope he'll enjoy. A surprise you hope both of you can enjoy against your sheets or against the wall. A shudder passes through you at the image as Austin frowns, moving to take off his jacket.
"Here take—" his mouth opens to speak only to have you swatting his hands away. "Got it, you don't want the jacket. I— Of course I'll stay the night. Especially if you have a surprise for me. You know you didn't have—"
You cut him off with a short kiss, shaking your head. "It's our anniversary, I wanted to get you something. Besides, I think— You'll really like this surprise."
Without missing a beat, Austin wraps his arm around your shoulder and kisses the top of your head, pulling you close to his chest as you both start to walk to his bike. "Can I get a hint?"
What happens for most of the dinner is Austin trying and failing to guess just what surprise you had in store through mouthfuls of food and through causal brushes of his hand against your body. The brushes shouldn't have you on edge and yet they do, igniting embers low in your abdomen as you see Austin pout like he's just a normal man.
That— That more than anything confirms that you're making the right choice by giving this to him. He may be a biker and may be the sort of man you could have never seen yourself with before but at his heart he's still just the guy who treats you better than anyone else has before. If one earned another's virginity he would have earned yours in spades.
Normally when you ride back, Austin has you behind him, always wanting to feel your arms around his waist squeezing tight when he takes a tight turn or when he goes just that little too fast. Tonight though, tonight he chooses to behind you, his arms and body enveloping yours in a way that you've felt when he hugs you. This though? This is something else entirely, the vibration of the motorcycle earning a gasp or two from you as you press against Austin's front. You swear you feel him getting harder against you and you nearly groan from the knowledge. Instead you try and focus on Austin's body heat and what you plan on doing with him the second you get home.
The ride feels longer than it ever has before and yet when it ends you both leisurely slide off his motorcycle as if you're both not so keyed up that you're practically vibrating despite the lack of a motor between your legs. Speaking isn't something you want to do, not until you're inside and Austin doesn't appear to be much better. When the door finally shuts you watch as he leans against it, resisting the urge to touch you.
"So, what exactly is this surprise?" Your answer won't change anything from the look in Austin's eyes and yet you can't help the way you cast your eyes down, mildly embarrassed. It's best to rip the band-aid off, isn't it?
"I— I want to have sex with you. Like— full penetrative—"
Austin cuts you off with a kiss that you gasp into, the way he crossed the distance between the two of you startling you. His tongue caresses yours, soft and gentle almost as if he figures you might break if he goes any harder before he pulls away. "You want my cock in that—"
"In my— uh what do you call it? Gorgeous pussy?" The words leave your mouth casually as if you had told Austin the weather outside and the look on his face has you giggling lightly. His mouth is open just ever so slightly allowing you to see that pink tongue of his and practically see the way he's salivating for you. "That's what you call her, right?"
There's an innocence in the question that has Austin pulling you in for another kiss and pressing the full front of his body against you. It is what he calls her and yet you're asking him to make sure. You're asking him as if you haven't had your hands in his hair yanking and crying out when he mutters sweet nothings against it. A whine leaves your lips when you try to grind up against him only to have his hand on your hip stop you. "You're sure? Babe— If you're not— I can't stop myself if I start."
Your hand moves down between the two of you and Austin has nary a minute before he feels your hand cupping him through his jeans. A groan leaves his parted lips and you are powerful. Maybe it's just the rush from hearing Austin's groan but maybe that's what losing your virginity is supposed to be, realizing you have the power to bring someone to their knees just because they love one body part of yours so intensely it could burn them. His cock feels so heavy in your hand and your chest heaves not once, not twice but three times as you mouth at his jaw, his stubble tickling you just a tad.
"This is your surprise. I— I want to feel you inside of me. Feel how it is to take your cock inside more than just my mouth." If there's more words inside your head or in your mouth, they're completely eviscerated by Austin's simple action of picking you up with a grunt, shifting your body weight so that you can try to wrap your thighs around his waist. All you hear is Austin mumbling something against your neck that sounds like "all mine."
Austin's low and almost choked off moan when he starts to pull up your dress after he's gotten you on the bed. Your whites panties are exposed bit by bit until Austin sees them fully and freezes. You had had planned this down to the point of making yourself seem as virginal as possible. You made yourself seem like the purest of them all just for tonight. He hates to ruin the panties but he can't— he can't wait to drag them off your body and instead just slides them off to the side, marveling in the way you shiver at the motion.
"I gotcha," Austin pants as he starts to slide with painstaking slowness into you, watching your face for any minute changes to tell him he's hurting you. "You're— Can't believe you're letting me do this for you." To you, he means but he knows you'll understand the sentiment.
"Why— wouldn't I?" Your breath catches as he thrusts completely in, earning a moan as your body takes in the burn and stretch of his cock. "You're— You'd never hurt me."
Intentionally or unintentionally, if you're being honest with yourself. It's one of so many reasons you knew you could trust him with this. The reason you could trust him to show you the unique pleasure that comes from your first time being fucked by another person. He could coax you through any pain and discomfort you feel.
A low growl leaves his lips that he tries to muffle against your neck. Hearing these words come from you feels like praise and it spurs him to do even better, to make sure even if you leave him you'll never forget this night. His hand moves down to play ever so lightly with your clit even as his cock brushes against it with every thrust.
"I wouldn't. I'd never hurt someone who looks as gorgeous on my cock as you do," Austin murmurs, watching as your eyes roll back into your head for a moment. "I dreamed about this. Woke up with my hand on my cock, wishing it was you. You're taking me so well, babe. Natural. You're— fuck— you're a natural at this."
You don't try to speak, instead letting the way your pussy clenches at the praise tell Austin just what his words are doing to you. He smiles even has he grunts, delighting in the reaction. "You like hearing that? Like hearing how you feel like you're made for my cock? How I'm so fucking thankful you waited to give this to me? How I'm honored?"
His fingers brush against your puffy clit softly and yet it feels as if he's pressed a live wire down against it, your thighs clenching on either side of his legs. It's too much and yet too little all at once. You try to move away, try and tell him that this is too much and yet Austin's a little bit ahead of you. "Let go, I'll— I've got you, remember? You're giving me this on our anniversary. I'll— Let go. Let me see you come on my cock like I've only ever dreamed of."
Somehow those are the magic words for you, somehow like a command you find yourself leaning back, head thumping against the pillow behind you as Austin fucks you slowly through your orgasm, watching as pleasure he's seen before on your face take on a new form in this one instant. If he wasn't already almost irrevocably in love with you— he would be now. This would have had him on his knees worshipping you until you fell into his arms. Instead he watches you come with a silent cry with him following not too far behind as your pretty pussy clenches around him. He looks at you nearly fucked out and the mirror hanging on the wall and gets an idea.
His hand presses against the bulge he can see in your stomach and he marvels in how you practically keen at the sensation, your head flopping back against his chest. You've always been responsive but this is another thing entirely. It's another thing entirely to see your face in the mirror, pleasure covering every inch of your face.
"Babe, I want you to look at us. See what you look like with my cock inside you," Austin murmurs against your neck, lips pressing wet kisses all around it. He watches as you move your head back down and try to focus on the mirror, gasping as you see the outline of his cock pressing against your lower stomach. "You see it? See how full of me you are? See what I'm doing to you."
Words are supposed to be your strong suit but you can't help but stutter out your response. "I— That's— Aus— You're right there. I can—" Your words stop for a moment only to be replaced with a low whine as he presses down. "You're— God, Aus, just, I can feel you. Why does this feel good?"
Because it shouldn't, you think. It shouldn't feel good and yet somehow it heightens every sensation you feel and somehow helps to overcome the occasional tightness you feel from this being your first time.
"I told you. You— It's like it was made for my cock." His answer is almost breathless, as he watches and feels the bulge as he thrusts. "Want— You need to see how much you're mine, how I'm making— No one is going to fuck you like this."
You shake your head almost violently in agreement. "I don't— oh— want anyone to. Just you. I want—" A whine leaves your lips after one particularly sharp thrust. "Old lady. Wanna be her."
Somewhere in the back of your head, you realize you sound incoherent with those words, but from the way one of Austin's hands tightens on your hip you figure he understands exactly what you mean. A shaky exhale leaves his mouth before he tries to nuzzle at your ear, hand petting your stomach. "Say that again."
"I wanna be your old lady." Except it still sounds half slurred as your pussy tries to clench around him, the feeling of his hands setting fire to every inch of your skin it touches. "Yours."
Austin ought to say something, ought to tell you that's the words he's wanted to hear for ages from your lips but he doesn't. Instead he nips at your earlobe and forces you to look up at the vision of the two of you in the mirror. "All mine? Never gonna be anyone else's?"
"No." You utter, watching your tits bounce with each thrust of his cock. You watch the sweat drip down your skin and slide against his body. You don't want to be anyone else's and this confirmed it and settled it. You're Austin's until he's through with you or one of you dies. Maybe it makes you silly and stupid but in this moment you're so in love with Austin Butler that the idea of not being by his side isn't one you ever want to contemplate.
Austin's hand that's been settled where his cock could be seen moves up to your chest, grabbing ahold of your breasts and forcing your body to stay upright and looking straight on into the mirror. He can see how you're panting, how your lips are spit slick and how your hair is a wild untamed mane that he caused. He did this to you, you've allowed him to have you look so debauched that he doubts he'll ever forget this moment of seeing you laid bare for him in front of the mirror with a white dress and white panties on the bed behind you. His eyes drift to from your almost forgotten about dress to you and back again before he feels you clench around him, whimpering something about how it's too much.
"Shh, I— I'm almost there. You've been so good to me, babe. So good to me." He praises you, his thrusts getting a little sloppier until you feel the warmth of his release inside you. Both of your legs are a little wobbly but somehow he manages to get you both to the bed. A groan of discomfort leaves your mouth as he starts to pull out, the sensation feeling as if you're being left empty even as you know the brush of his cock against any part of your swollen pussy or clit or labia is too much right now. You reach out when he stands up, trying to get him to come back to bed only for him to return with a warm washcloth that he uses to gently clean you both up before flopping down next to you.
Without missing a beat you move to snuggle against his chest, his heartbeat a steady drum in your ears before he speaks. "I'm not letting you go."
You place a kiss to his chest, right where his heart is. "I don't want you to."
taglist: @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @slowsweetlove, @kxnnxy, @meetmeatyourworst, @purejasmine, @stylespresleyhearted, @powerofelvis, @amydarcimarie, @thegettingbyp2, @austinswhitewolf, @richardslady121 if i have not included you know it’s not meant to be a slight, it’s literally i don’t know if you want to be tagged as far as austin fics or elvis fics, drop me a comment or a message and i’ll add away tbh.
#austin butler#ally writes#austin butler x reader#austin butler x you#austin butler smut#austin butler x y/n#austin butler fanfic#austin butler fanfiction#ally's wet hot smut summer#( which might as well be ally's wet hot smut summer + fall )
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✩𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘛𝘝 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘍𝘢𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘤 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵✩
Started: February 7th, 2024 Updated: February 7th, 2024
The specific shows owned by Disney that I write for! (Includes Disney XD)
Disney Channel Shows
Austin and Ally Good Luck Charlie Jessie Kickin It Lab Rats Liv and Maddie Mighty Med Pair of Kings Percy Jackson and the Olympians The Suite Life on Deck Wizards of Waverly Place
Disney Animated shows
Star vs The Forces of Evil
#masterlist#disney#disney fanfiction#austin and ally#austin and ally x reader#good luck charlie#good luck charlie x reader#jessie#jessie x reader#kickin it#kickin it x reader#lab rats#lab rats x reader#liv and maddie#liv and maddie x reader#mighty med#mighty med x reader#pair of kings#pair of kings x reader#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians x reader#the suite life on deck#the suite life on deck x reader#wizards of waverly place#wizards of waverly place x reader#star vs the forces of evil#star vs the forces of evil x reader
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Has anyone ever entered into a basically dead fandom but have the willpower to revive it singlehandedly?
Bc same.
My hyperfixation of the week is Austin & Ally and I'm like writing fanfics and wanting to make edits and I'm just like, maybe if I have enough willpower and hope, I can singlehandedly revive the A&A fandom so I can read fanfics and watch videos.
ALSO!
I really wish that The Order had a greater fandom. There's like nothing out there, especially for the Hamish x Randall ship and it saddens me.
#fanfiction#mine#ao3 writer#austin and ally#a&a#austin & ally#disney#disney austin and ally#randall x hamish#hamish x randall#the order#Netflix the order#the order netflix#dead fandom#i will singlehandedly bring back the dead#fandoms#fandom#austin and ally fandom#a&a fandom#the order netflix fandom#netflix#the order fandom
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Writing Masterlist !!
Welcome to my blog ((: Hello~! I’m Aud :D! I’m a psychology major and long-term dungeon master who loves to write in my free time. The stuff I’m willing to post here right now is pretty much all fanfiction, but I’ve got a lot of other projects stored up that may eventually see the light of day if anyone’s interested. My DnD stuff is gonna start appearing on a separate blog!! Hooray! If you're curious or interested you can find all of that fun stuff over at @audndio. It's chaos over there.
I’ll try to keep this masterlist well updated with both the fandoms I’m actively writing for and what fics are on my profile (as well as hints of what’s to come). I love horror, fantasy, sci-fi, and action/adventure, and actually wrote a handful of decently popular r/nosleep stories a few years ago. It's good to finally be posting again ((:
My asks and dms are open for chatting or also requests for any fic that consists of oneshots/writes. I do not write smut of any kind and tend to stay away from romance in general, but I don’t mind cute romantic fluff or heavy relationship-related angst if it comes down to it. I mostly write whump lmao I’m amenable to most things, so just ask if you’ve got something in mind!
All my posts are tagged with relevant AU information, the characters involved, and angst/fluff/whump/etc, or with asks/updates/scheduling so you can filter for what you're looking for. I do my best to keep things organized, which is why everything is color-coded as well (AUs are purple, oneshots are pink, ao3 is orange, asks are yellow, fandoms are green, and the blue is for me).
If you'd rather read or chat somewhere else, find me on ao3 here.
Full AUs: Life is Strange AU (multichapter fic, YT/Twitch, slow updates) CollegeHumor Powers AU (multichapter fic, CH/Dim20, completed) (You're Not) A Living Thing With Feelings (multichapter fic, sasi, completed) CollegeHumor Tangled AU (multichapter fic, CH/Dim20, updates biweekly Sundays) If I Make It Through Tonight (multichapter fic, sasi, updates biweekly Tuesdays) Oneshot/Writes Collections: Corpse Party (YT/Twitch, updates fridays) Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach (ranboo/slimecicle, updates saturdays) Stardew Valley Oneshots (sdv, updates biweekly mondays) TV Episode AUs (YT/Twitch)
Fandoms I Write For (in no particular order): Various YouTubers and Twitch Streamers (Ranboo, Slimecicle, Tommyinnit, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, etc/related) CollegeHumor (DropoutTV and Dimension20 included) Stardew Valley Supernatural Corpse Party Bungou Stray Dogs OTV Sanders Sides My Babysitter's a Vampire Mystic Messenger Doctor Who Resident Evil Hades Lab Rats Kickin' It Austin and Ally (and more to come!)
#masterlist#life is strange#lis#writing#writing community#corpse party#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#security breach#bungou stray dogs#stardew valley#kickin it#my babysitter's a vampire#collegehumor#dimension 20#doctor who#lab rats#supernautral#hades game#resident evil#offlinetv#austin and ally#mystic messenger#sanders sides#cross posted on ao3#fanfic#fanfiction#whump#ranboolive#charlie slimecicle
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Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Austin & Ally Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ally Dawson/Austin Moon Characters: Ally Dawson, Austin Moon Additional Tags: Fluff, 100 ways to say i love you Series: Part 8 of SparkyGurl's Multifandom 100 ways to say I Love You Summary:
Multifandom 100 ways to say I love you
#8 - Austin x Ally - Take My Seat
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hi em!!!!
💫 + 🎈for the fic writer ask <3
hi sen!! loml!!!
💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?
i absolutely adore when people quote things that i've written and talk about how it made them feel!! or when people tell me that they've never thought about that character/that situation/that relationship that way and bc of this fic, they now do!! it makes my heart really big and warm<33
🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?
i've definitely always been a stream of consciousness writer and i think it's because I'm An Overthinker so it's really easy for me to blab about everything a character is thinking and how those either line up or contradict with what's actually happening. i'd say my writing has Matured over time but even as i read things i was writing at age 15/16, the essence is very much the same.
ask me questions from the fic writer ask game!
#i found my fanfiction dot net account the other day bc SOMEONE DUG ON HERE AND FOUND AN AUSTIN AND ALLY FIC AND LIKED IT and even as#i was Cringing while reading it i was like ah......this tracks#i get why you said the things you said little me#asks
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Ahhhh ok since everyone is doing it, here I go…..
When I saw Elvis on opening day last year, I was only going because my aunt wanted to bring me. After seeing the movie, I was not only shook af but also in love with austin. I was like all of the other people who didn’t like Elvis, but 3 days later I came to my senses.
Me being me, I ran to this hellsite to find fanfiction about both austin and Elvis. I remember taking a screenshot of someone who had said something along the lines of “WHERE ARE THE AUSTIN BUTLER FICS??!!” Well person from about a year ago, there’s thankfully plenty of them now.
I want to just thank everyone who I’ve met in this wonderful community and have formed bonds with, specifically @cryingabtab @austinbutlersbaby @powerofelvis @rosaminny @eliseinmemphis @butlersxbirdy @mooodyblue @marooosa @burninlovebutler @samfangirls @foreverdolly @lindszeppelin @thatbanditqueen @precious-little-scoundrel @polksalademma and Becca! (I’m sorry I couldn’t remember your username😭) I love you guys sm and I couldn’t be luckier to have such a wonderful group of people in my life, thank you times a million 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
I’d also like to thank everyone who has written my fave fics bc they give me LIFE @cryingabtab @austinbutlersbaby @elvisabutler @prompted-wordsmith @burninlovebutler @powerofelvis @butlersxbirdy @mooodyblue @samfangirls @foreverdolly @headfullofpresley @mooodyblue @elaaronpresleysgirl @dilfelvis @blurredcolour @kiankiwi @deterioratingxprisons @be-my-ally @ggwritesstuff @plasticfantasticl0ver @stay-wildin @devilsflowerr @precious-little-scoundrel and any others that I may have forgotten! When I add those tags when reblogging your works, I seriously mean what I say 🥵 like DAMN ok y’all didn’t need to eat and leave no crumbs like that but you DID!!!!!!!!!
Also shoutout to the people I don’t really talk to but see in my notifications, I love you guys sm you are my WORLD 🫶🏻
Also I would lastly like to thank Elvis because when I went to go see this movie I was on my graduation trip, fresh out of high school, freshly 19 and it was such a vulnerable time in my life because I didn’t know what I wanted to do or where to go but this wonderful angel of a man blessed me with just a fraction of his beautiful spirit and energy and my life has never been the same sense…. Never in my life have I woken up with such a wholesome feeling in my heart and said “wow, I am so lucky to be able to know about and love this man”. Like I never have loved anyone in this world so much, and I’m sure you all can say the same.
Anyways, I’ll end this before I get too sappy and start crying, but I just wanted to say happy one year anniversary to this movie, and I love you all so much 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
Love, Mila 🥰
#currently celebrating with E’s fave pizza#bbq pizza#just e things#I love you all seriously like so much
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Im going thru one of my saddest hyper fixation
:(
First of January 2023 Netflix recommends I watch Julie and the Phantoms and so I watch the teaser It gives me strong Austin and ally vibes ( and I was a huge Austin and ally fan) so I go on youtube and I type JATP and I watch the first music video.
I watch on the edge of great, and I'm HOOKED like omg that scene has everything. I love good music, good vocals, good visuals, good styling, good chemistry like wtf, so obviously, I binged JATP
Now I'm a bit late on the jatp train... it came out more than 2 years ago AND we already know it got cancelled. From what I understand Netflix took a Weirdly long time to cancel the show so we don't really know what happened but I see the actors and director are still talking about the show so idk
I'm just super sad cause this show is amazing, and I truly wish there was more of it, like at least a second season, to tie all the loose threads ... I've watched the entire thing 5 times now and watched so many behind the scenes, and im truly devasted
The only thing keeping me from getting deeper into my depression is fanfiction. THANK YOU FANFIC WRITTERS I WANT TO HUG ALL OF YOU OUT THERE, like srly, what would we do without you guys? You're litteral saviours.
*I'll post my first impression rant about JATP later I gotta edit it*
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Hello lovely!! For the author ask game ⬇️
🍓🥤
HII LOVELY!
🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?
okay so i think i got into it because i was reading austin and ally fanfic? and i wanted a fic but couldn't find it so i was like fine i'll do it myself. i also have distinct memory of me in year 7 being at creative writing club writing fanfic with my friend but i can't remember who for HAHA
🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love
last night i absolutely BINGED slither by @mixsethaddams. like stayed up until 4am binge. it is SOOOO good and funny and cute and i just absolutely ate it up all in one sitting. with one second hand embarrassment break (i literally threw a hand over my eyes and had to sit there for five minutes before continuing) because eddie did something embarrassing
writers truth and dare ask game
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mess dress
fandom: elvis 2022 | elvis presley rating: m pairing: elvis presley ( army era ) x female plus size reader word count: 2323 warnings: thigh riding. uniform kink. mild innocence kink. public play-ish. implications for future p in v sex. author’s note: welcome to day 7 of ally’s wet hot smut summer, uniform kink with elvis presley x reader. so fun fact i've had this 95 percent finished since friday. i have also been without internet because construction knocked out my internet for the weekend. however this is done now. so this erred accidentally into a sort of public play kink thing as well. hopefully y'all enjoy it regardless. this is sort of a sequel to called ya, didn't i? but you don't have to read it for this to make sense, necessarily. i do really want to hear how y'all feel about my fics and i know i don't always reply to comments but reading them delights me so much. as always imagine who you'd like i'm not picky.
You're no stranger to Army functions, little soirees that you shouldn't be invited to but you are because your Daddy's always loved showing you off even as there were whispers about how it wasn't proper that his daughter's waist didn't taper just so. But being at one when you're involved with Elvis Presley- well, that's another thing entirely. It's one thing to be on your Daddy's arm and another to be on your boyfriend's arm knowing how that arm feels wrapped around your waist as you do things very good army brats shouldn't do.
The thing is, you want to think Elvis is willing to stay with you, you want to think he's a good man even if all the papers and the press think he's cavorting around with every girl in Europe. And he's been proving it with every innocent date and every not so innocent moment where you cry out for release as his fingers play you better than any guitar. Elvis wants to be with you and even as things are winding down in Europe, he's whispering jokes and plans about asking your Daddy if it's alright for him to whisk you away to Memphis.
"Told 'im I'd take real good care of ya. No funny business, either. Not 'less I got a ring on your finger."
After hearing that, you almost swooned like you were a Victorian maiden, the rush from hearing those simple words— that simple potential promise had your mind whirring and your heart thumping a quicker beat than it ever had in your life. Never mind that you and him already had indulged in some funny business, it was all the kind that could be hidden. Not the kind that had you filling out dresses and telling your Daddy he's got a grandbaby on the way.
Hearing that put your mind at ease and allowed you to dream a little of a future with Elvis. It allowed for a picture to be painted of you at Graceland or in Hollywood, maybe with a child or two— and a world where you might still be told you don't look proper for a woman but there's gotta be something about you that's got Mr. Presley all shook up and stuck on you. Saying yes to Elvis about going to the function was easy after that even if you had to tell him that he didn't have to get you a dress despite his arguments for doing just that.
"I-I jus' wanna show 'em how pretty my girl is. Tell 'em what they missed out on. Show Charlie I can get me a ree-spec-tuh-bull girl." He had teased, hands against your hips as he kissed your neck in front of your mirror.
Your hands should have swatted at his arms and you should have told him to keep his hands on your waist but instead you moved your hands to lay on top of his and smiled. "You will, Elvis. I'll pick something pretty and we'll have pretty pictures to look at. You'll probably even have one to take home."
A look flitted across Elvis's face that you couldn't quite put a name to and you couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at it before he shook his head. "Yeah, I can have a picture. Just— I mean it, baby, I'm gonna show ya off. Tell 'em I like ya wit' or without all this dressin' up."
It's practically comical the way you and Elvis look at each other the moment you open the door to see him standing there in his full dress uniform. You've seen him in uniform before and had told him rightfully that seeing him in it did something to you between your legs but seeing him like this? All ironed pants and dressed without a hint of a flaw had your mouth watering as your eyes traced over every inch of him, settling embarrassingly on the subtle bulge between his legs. You've felt it before but to see it look like it's starting to rise to the occasion just from looking at you right now in those slacks has your breath escaping from your lungs in a quiet whine.
Not that your boyfriend was any better, taking in the way your dress outlined your chest and your hips and practically shimmered in the light. You matched his dress uniform almost to a tee with a little feminine flair. Your mother is the one who comes upon the two of you staring at one another and tuts quietly, shooing you out the door with a shawl and a yell about how Elvis needs to bring you home before a certain time. You don't dare speak until Elvis enters the other side of his car and sets a hand on your clothed thigh.
"Honey— ya tryin' to kill me? 'Cause it's workin'. Didn't know ya—" He starts before you silence him with a kiss and a shy smile.
"I had it specially made. Thought tonight deserved something special, since you said you'd show me off, remember?" You bite your lip, knowing full well you're probably ruining your lipstick. What you're saying is the truth but a part of you, a small part that's listened to a friend or two who thinks Elvis is so sweet on you that he might want to marry you thinks this was the perfect outfit to prove you're the sort of girl who can be Mrs. Presley. All sophistication and charm that a good boy— a good man like him needs.
"I- I do. Now I'm thinkin' everyone's gonna be tryin' to steal ya from me if I show ya off. Lord, darlin'. Make a man wanna—" His breath comes out in a rush, a puff of air that moves a surprisingly errant curl from his head as you giggle.
"Maybe later? Before you take me home?" The words are questions but from the way you look at Elvis you know that he catches your meaning. That you want him to do something to you as much as he wants to do something to you. Truthfully just looking at the buttons of his uniform and every single detail on it has you clenching your legs together— forgetting that Elvis's hand is right there until he groans as he starts the car.
"Gonna be the death o'me," he mutters only to hear you laugh again and say three simple words in French.
"La petit mort."
You both know it's a little improper to have you sitting on Elvis's lap, but the night's been winding down ever so slowly and Elvis— can get away with things other men can't. Sure, this might get back to your Daddy but it's not as if he doesn't already have an inkling that Elvis is head over heels in love with you. You haven't ended up with a baby in your belly yet and that's— well, that's as good as he can hope for when it comes to the pair of you, he figures. He'll allow it as long as he can think his daughter is as pure as can be. Besides, Charlie is very good at covering for you and Elvis when things look a little more salacious than they should. Right now as Elvis's leg keeps bouncing between your thigh, you figure you'll get use out of those skills yet tonight.
The conversation is one you're not fully paying attention to, having heard half these things a million times over as you've grown up but when you feel the brush of warm air against your ear your eyes widen just a hair.
"Fallin' asleep on me, darlin'? Gonna leave me to talk to everyone by myself?" His whisper is low and inviting in a way that has you shivering just slightly as his arm grips your waist a little tighter. "That woke ya up?"
You don't trust your voice just yet especially when you feel Elvis's leg jiggling between your thighs, his knee brushing against your clit with almost every movement. Your only answer is a small hum as you smile at other people.
Elvis flashes a charming grin as he shifts both of you, allowing the bottom of your dress to cover his leg entirely and exposing your underwear covered vagina to his knee. He bounces experimentally and watches as your eyes widen and you let out a soft whimper that you quickly cover with a cough, your chest bouncing from the effort. Your thighs try and tighten around his leg in an effort to stop the bouncing only for his hand to grip your hip, reveling in the way it feels underneath his grip.
"Elvis," you hiss, turning to look at him after one particularly intense bounce as your nipples hardening in your bra and has you starting to soak through your undergarments. "What are you doing?"
"Ya been eyein' me up like a piece of meat all night, baby. Know that place 'tween ya legs has been achin' somethin' fierce 'cause of it. Didn't think ya wanted to wait. Jus' in case I gotta rush ya home." He explains like it makes all the sense in the world and you find it's hard to argue with him over it even as you know how bad this looks.
"But we're in public. Just because I wanna rip your uniform off doesn't mean we need to—" you start only to have him brush against that spot earning a bitten back whine and a grind down from you. "Elvis— oh."
It shouldn't be pleasurable, your fear of being caught and the potential shame should stop you from doing this but the only thing it's stopping you from doing is ripping off Elvis's uniform that you've seen on a million men before but none of them have been him. Maybe it's the way you had seen the bulge between his legs pressing against his pressed slacks or maybe it's because he was all dressed up to take you somewhere. To show you off. Whatever the reason was, you don't stop Elvis from moving his leg, from bouncing it just so in a way that has your vision starting to blur and has your nails digging into his other thigh in order to keep quiet.
"Gonna make a mess of us, ain't ya? Gonna stain my uniform, darlin'? Make it so I gotta tell everyone I had a lil sweat on my knee?" He mutters his filthy words against your ear and you nod as slow as you can as your eyes dart around the room and around your talking companions. Had any of them noticed what was going on?
"They ain't payin' attention. Ya a good girl, 'member? God, darlin' wanna see ya come apart in front of 'em. Do that for me, will ya? Do that and I'll ask ya daddy to marry ya tomorrow. I gotta or 'm gonna ruin ya 'fore I can."
You have to take a breath or five to be able to speak as his knee picks up speed. "You'll wear your uniform when you do? So I can see it again?"
The grin on his face is downright evil as he nuzzles your neck and places a kiss or two against it. "'Course. Jus' for you. Jus' to see ya get all hot 'n bothered 'bout it again. You gonna make a mess f'me, mama? Gonna show how I got the best girl 'round wit' ya plump yittle thighs and those big breasts a yourn? And that stomach that's softer than anythin' army issued?"
Any other time and you might feel a might bit embarrassed about the way you nod quickly. Truthfully you can feel a bit of shame when you catch the eye of one of the other women. Her eyes are a little widened and you— that should be your cue to stop but you're so close that you can't help but cast your eyes downward as Elvis follows where your eyes went.
"She's just wishin' it was her. Wishin' her date would do this to her. Don't— Don't be shy. I gotcha, darlin'. Let go f'me?"
Somehow the way he phases what is technically an order or a request as a question sends a jolt through your body and has you holding back noises that threaten to leave your mouth as you feel yourself coming. Feel that tension inside your lower belly finally release. You feel your body twitch ever so slightly as the pleasure rolls through your body as Elvis's arm tightens around you to keep you from slumping forward. Your chest heaves in the confines of your bra and your dress and Elvis's lips curl into a bit of a smirk against the back of your neck as you try and catch your breath without being too obvious. Against your backside you can feel Elvis's cock nudging you and with a bit of a smile you shift just so in order to hear him grunt.
"Are you two okay?" You both hear someone ask— maybe it's Charlie or maybe it's someone else, you're both not too sure but it prompts you to stand up, adjusting your skirt as you do and eyeing the sizable damp patch you've left on Elvis's leg in his uniform. His eyes look down before they widen and he pulls you back down to sit on it.
"We're— we're fine." A short answer said by both of you as the two of you exchange a look and you grab Elvis's hat to plop it on your head. The look Elvis gives you is filled with more love than you thought he was capable of even though you can see his still blown pupils and see the arousal lingering in those ocean blue eyes.
After a moment of staring you turn back to everyone and smile, "so what were we talking about? You've got both of us at attention."
taglist: @ab4eva , @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @missmaywemeetagain, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @notstefaniepresley, @wanderingelvis, @kxnnxy, @powerofelvis, @stylespresleyhearted, @be-my-ally, @mooodyblue, @pixiedustcosmos, @jessicarcates, @amydarcimarie, @flwrs4aust, @myradiaz, @adaydreamaway08, @elirobin, @goldieharry. i'm tired i don't know if i tagged everyone sorry if i forgot you..
#elvis presley#elvis presley x reader#elvis presley x plus sized reader#elvis presley x you#elvis presley x y/n#army elvis#austin butler elvis#austin elvis#austin elvis x reader#elvis presley fanfic#elvis presley fanfiction#elvis presley smut#elvis presley fic#ally writes#ally's wet hot smut summer
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TAG GAME!!
Tag 10 people you want to get to know better :)
Thanks @joelockescoffee for tagging me I really like your blog and I'm glad you like mine too <3
3 ships: Nick and Charlie, Jake and Amy, Nico and Will
First ever ship: Damn I don't even remember, might have been Austin and Ally when I was like 9 or something, there might have been one before them tho but they're the ones I remember
Last song: Do U Really by Lyn Lapid and Ruth B.
Last film: Rewatched Charlie's angels (2019) last week
Currently reading: Fanfiction 👍 but if we're talking actual books I've seriously been meaning to start on Boyfriend material by Alexis Hall
Currently watching: Willow, gonna start on bad buddy soon, plus I rewatched young royals and 2gether the series recently
Currently consuming: tiktok videos where people go thrifting and do a haul or recycle those clothes into something new + food videos on insta + cut lineup vids
Currently craving: Motivation and brown sugar milk tea without boba bcs I just don't wanna chew rn
Tagging: @fabricated-pessimist @daniela1dthings @phan-meme-trash @barrowsteeth @jelazakazone @relatively-good @heartstopperthoughts @simplyjustsimping @immortals-malec @moonepiphany-shitposts
#i know some of these blogs don't know me but i see your posts all the time so hi!!#hope that isn't weird#tag games
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benny what does your username mean where does it come from .I don't know and it bugs me 😔
okay so I KNOW I've told this story somewhere on this blog before I swear but I can't fuckin find the post anywhere so I'm just going to tell it again and if you follow me and you've seen me tell this story before then no you haven't. :)
BASICALLY when I was like 11 ish I was on fanfiction dot net reading like austin and ally or lemonade mouth fanfiction or something and I didn't have an account because I didn't really care. and if I really liked a story and it didn't have many "reviews" (on ff.net comments are called reviews which is pretentious tbh but w/e) I would basically spam review it with good reviews pretending to be as many different people as possible so the story would look more popular because I didn't have any friends or anything better to do i guess. so I did this for a while, just finding stories I liked and leaving like 10-30 "anonymous" reviews from "different people" being like this fic is awesome!! good job!! and to do this I would have to make up like sometimes 50-60 fake usernames a day bcs to post an anonymous review on ff.net you still have to put in a guest name and I was trying to make them all look different so I didn't want to just put like "guest" ten times in a row. so I would make up all these fucking usernames and they would be formulaic because I was not that smart as an 11 year old, so i would do like horsegirl196 or skiingguy224 or rihannafan19 or w/e. and one time I was reading a fic and I used the name "daNcergirl369" (note the n) because I liked the idea that people might think I was a dancer (I wasn't). anyways I can't remember why but the author responded to this one like in the author notes of the next chapter of the fic (a common occurrence back then) and we sort of struck up a back and forth and eventually I bit the bullet and made and FF.net account under that name so we could message and then eventually a few years later came to make a tumblr account and was like "oh weird, I typed it dacergirl369 by mistake, oops. that's crazy." and then I looked back at the last like two years or however long and realised id literally been dacergirl369 the whole time since the beginning. I was never a dancer. I had somehow managed to make the same mistype at LEAST twelve times before I made the account and mistyped it again, exactly the same, somehow. and now I just live under the weight of this typo forever, hanging over my head and taunting me for ever thinking I could dare to dream to be a dancer (never taken any dance lessons). hope this helps <3
#i was sort of the anti-todd myimmortal. if you think about#except way less prolific or successful#ask
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Things I do that I must've picked up from somewhere, some media
But have no idea how when or why. Aka calling myself out and some self analysis because self love is important and I need to do more.
• Cooling my face down with my hands, specifically my cheeks when I'm blushing and flustered. Cringey fanfic, cute fanart of Nico Di Angelo/another grumpy/sunshine dynamic character? Anybody's guess.
• "Gimme hands", specifically when referencing I want affection or something given to me. Some romance/drama/or tween coming of age movie my mom watched with me at the ripe age of 12. Or additionally fanfic/fan comics
• Physically and mentally short circuiting when given too much affection. Like headaches, heartaches, love-dumb inability to think of much else, internal "they're so [insert term of affection here]" y'know, the drill. I don't know which fandom fanart started it, but Logan Sanders comes to mind?? For some reason??
• curling out and then into myself while laughing. The wheeze meme???
• repeating back/yes and-ing is how I tell jokes. Crankgameplays circa 2013??? Another YouTuber??? I d k.
• Semi cynical mf, somehow seen as sweet/affectionate. Not a clue but it--- Percy fucking Jackson???? Leo Valdez??
• Traumatized. All of I have ever consumed but specifically Steve Harrington and Hunter from TOH are good parallels.
• Romanticizing running away from bad situations or when things turn sour. Tangled?? Sonic the hedgehog??? Wander over yonder??? Austin and Ally??? The Teen Titans??? ----NICO DI ANGELO.
• himbo behavior. The main male "love interest" character in any given 2010's original Disney Movie. And Tubbo? Mayhaps.
• 10 yard stare ability. Anime?? Fanart?? Creepypasta??? That one may have just come free on my X-boxtm.
• Weaving in-between people either expertly or nearly running into people. Surprisingly both were probably from the same high school hosts anime.
• Giggling at puns and doing stupidly immature jokes. Definitely Percy Jackson started this. That kid and his sass/childish jokes such as the dam segment made me this way.
• Swinging my feet when they don't touch the ground where I'm sitting. 2010 Love action Disney Movies, shows, and "cringe" fluff fanfiction.
•Looking up though my hair. Any bbg character I adore that's ever interacted with people taller than them. IE: Nico Di Angelo, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, fucking-- Rich from BMC. but listen here, why strain my neck when I can glance up.
#self love#self analysis#habits of mine I've picked up somewhere in my media consumption that i don't hate.#:)
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have i asked for stan and kyle's favorite books/movies yet? i assume ur stan can read unlike mine smh
Lmfaooooo what a slay ask as ALWAYS from the wife!!! OJV Stan can, in fact, read, he just gets distracted (adhd boy across the ncu/ojv board!)
I got sooooo many ideas for this one YOUR HONOR THEY ARE MASSIVE DORKS!!!
They like a lotttt of the same stuff, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, oh my god they are HUGE Bill and Ted fans they’re definitely being “excellent to each other” if ya know what I mean ;) another favorite is Percy Jackson and Stan 100% cried during that part in MOA (same) Kyle made the rest of the M5 listen to the audiobooks and Cartman has definitely read every depraved fanfiction ashdhdksl. Stan and Kyle are SUCH fantasy nerds especially Stan out here learning tolkien elvish to rizz the sbf up smh
Style went FERAL over The Last of Us show they loved the games so much and oh my goodness they… may or may not have had a Voltron phase (it was Cartman’s fault) BRUH!!!!! Ok these two LOVE Kevin Smith’s filmography!!!! Kyle’s favorite is Tusk and Stan’s is Clerks 3 he SOBBED HIS EYEBALLS OUT!!!
Kyle’s definitely also into documentaries, particularly historical ones, where Stan kind of spaces out unless it’s animal planet (king shit) also DUDE How To Train Your Dragon is a fave. Kyle LOVES Dead Poets Society.
So Kyle definitely is a little more inclined to reading, though they’re both a sucker for a story, but he’s the one who actually sat down and read GOT, actually enjoyed the assigned reading in high school, like this man was out here enjoying the HELL out of A Separate Peace, Lord of the Flies, Of Mice and Men, and HOLY SHIT he ADORES Ray Bradbury. OrangeJuiceVerse Kyle is such an idealistic guy, he fucks that magical realism UP!!! Def likes poetry, Kipling is a FAVE!!! Also down to read think pieces, absolutely loves when something gets him thinking about human nature. Shakespeare too! His favorite is A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Stan’s favorite is Titus Andronicus.
Stan Marsh, our resident hopeless romantic, ADORES MUSICALS! He has made everyone in the Star Seven watch every single Team Starkid Show (his favorite is probably Twisted) (Kenny likes Starship because he loves him some puppets) (kys fave is The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals bc the title made him laugh) Stan, Cartman, and Marj are THE trio to go see musicals it’s so fun! And Stan’s favorite broadway musical was in fact The Lightning Thief. He’s a big enjoyer of The Music Man too. And LITTLESHOP!!! Oh dude he watched the helll out of Austin & Ally lmfao
I’ve mentioned before Stan watching alllll the sappy ass Dog Movies when he’s depressed, holed up in the Sadsack Hoodie with Old Yeller, 8 Below, Homeward Bound, Where the Red Fern Grows, Far From Home: The Adventures of Yellow Dog (that one’s a fave bc happy ending and the kid in it looks like him) and that poor guys just making himself more upset :(
Oh Kyle is SO into The Hunger Games he read the books and analyzed the SHIT out of them!!!
Oh! Stan loves Supernatural lmao and he and Tweek binge watched it while Stan was out of work w the broken ribs and Tweek was detoxing (Operation Beat Tweek’s Withdrawals/Stan’s Boredom as referenced in chap 6 of BBFA2) Stan also made Tweek watch Poultrygeist (Tweek hated it) (I also hated Poultrygeist like my husband is friends with Lloyd Kaufman and I’ll watch that weird old man’s work but all of it grosses me out lmao)
Thank you for the ask Melda Tâe (my beloved queen) I LOVE BEING ANNOYING!!!
#asks#south park#THANK YOU NEEN!!!#OrangeJuiceVerse#my au#headcanons#style#lmm voice: look at my son#my shit#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#main 5
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just!!! JUST!!! "the idea of you" being based off a novel based off a harry styles fanfiction in which nicholas galitzine is in a boyband mimicking one direction called "august moon" which sounds like austin moon from austin and ally and then you add??? milf anne hathaway on top of that???? this movie was practically GIFT WRAPPED FOR MEEEEEE
#the trailer comes out today and i will be feral batshit insane actually#sorry in advance#emily screams into the void#nicholas galitzine#anne hathaway#the idea of you
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To Be Loved
life is short and time is always passing but love is everlasting -Nick Fabian
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Warm beams of light hit her face, and she awakens. She opens her eyes and smiles. She stretches and tries to banish the hope she feels rising inside. There are no promises that today will be a good day just because yesterday was. She doesn’t want to spend the day hating everything—herself, her life, and her dearest Dez. Still, she can’t stop herself from sitting up to see if perhaps she will feel as energetic as she did yesterday.
She slowly pulls herself up into a sitting position and finds that her body is not too tired. Sitting up feels good as if her body and not just her mind is trying to tell her it’s ready to do more than just lay around. She’s ready for this. It’s been too many weeks of staring at these grungy cream walls and wishing she were anywhere else. Maybe it’s finally arriving—the day the doctors promised would come when she would finally be well again. She can’t believe it. The life she has been dreaming about is barely beyond her grasp.
She slowly makes her way to the couch and sits down on it. It tires her, but not like that would have even a week ago. She’s improving; there’s no doubt about it. She reaches for her phone and types out a quick text to Dez. He’s got to hear the good news.
Just after arriving in LA seven weeks ago, she had come down with the nastiest virus and was so exhausted that she hadn’t been able to get out of bed. She had been puzzled; she had been the healthy one growing up—the one who had skated through when everyone else had come down with the flu. Here she was sick less than two weeks after getting married. Dez ever patient had encouraged her to wait it out. But when she hadn’t improved even after the week passed and the next one began, she had gone to see a doctor only to learn that she had mononucleosis.
She doesn’t have words to describe the past few weeks. At first, she enjoyed the freedom from job hunting it brought her as well as the ability to spend her days reading her favorite magazines and binge watching her favorite shows. As the days passed, however, she realized that she was practically a prisoner in their apartment. She didn’t have the energy to leave, so she had just stayed--hour after hour, day after day. Dez’s filming internship which had precipitated their move to LA in the first place kept him away from her for hours on end. She was left waiting for his return doling out her energy hoping that she would have enough for all the trips to the bathroom and fridge she’d need to make during the day.
This was not the way moving to LA was supposed to go. She had known that money would tight and their apartment tiny and grungy, but she hadn’t anticipated spending her first few weeks in bed. She has been here for almost two months and has not been on a single date or gone shopping once or made a single friend. No, her only accomplishments are all the complaints she left unsaid and the degrees that they didn’t turn up the heat because she piled on the blankets.
Worse than her dismal surroundings has been the way it all made her feel. She has never exactly had a reputation for being hardworking, but she has always felt like she had something to give. Performing let her share joy with others, and running the music factory gave her the satisfaction of knowing she was helping kids achieve their dreams. Now, she’s dependent on someone else for her very survival. It is Dez who has made all the trips to the grocery store, paid the bills, and made the money that mostly goes to rent. Without him, she doesn’t know what she would have done. As tired as he is from long days on set, he always hopes she is awake when he gets home because he wants to talk to her, to rub her feet, and to tell her she looked beautiful even though she is wearing the same pajamas she has for days.
It hadn’t been the world’s easiest day. Her sore throat and fever were so bad that she could hardly remember what it felt like to be well. Getting out of bed was unthinkable, and even watching a show didn’t sound that appealing. She spent most of the day lying on her back with her eyes closed counting down the hours until bedtime—twelve, eleven, ten, nine…
As the day passed, she only grew more miserable. Why was this her life? It was so unfair that she who had waited so patiently to take on an new adventure would have it turn into this when she finally reached it. Right outside her window were people enjoying life while she was stuck inside in bed feeling worse than she ever had in her entire life. She could do absolutely nothing about it. She couldn’t make the days pass more quickly. All of the wishing in the world couldn’t make her healthy again. She just had to wait until this nightmare was all over. From what the doctors had said, that was so far off that it may as well be forever from now. She was not sappy in the slightest, but she had expected things that would only get better after she and Dez married and moved to LA. Instead, she found herself hoping that someday she would all but block this time from her memory.
She jumped as she woke up. It was dark, and she couldn’t imagine what was happening, but it was only Dez lifting the covers as he tried to sneak into bed. His attempts at being sneaky were so terrible she would have laughed if her head hadn’t been aching so badly.
In a moment, he was lying beside her. “Trish?” he whispered gently. “You okay?” He reached for her and pulled her closer.
He was so cold she flinched at his touch. “No,” she said in a tone she would have recognized as whiny if she were in a better frame of mind. “My head hurts so bad, and my throat is so sore it’s awful.”
He brushed the hair from her face and smoothed it down gently. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could do something to make you better.” He reached out and kissed her forehead.
It was the sweetest gesture, but the warning bells went off in her head. He couldn’t do that. It was not called kissing disease for nothing. Dez couldn’t get sick. His life was harder because of her in too many ways already. He was doing the laundry and cooking and grocery shopping. If he were to get sick…
“Why don’t you just leave?” She was filled with regret the instant her mind grasped the gravity of her words.
“What?” Dez sounded genuinely shocked. “Never. I just promised you forever. Why would I do that?”
She rarely cried, but as she would realize later, the past few weeks of illness were taking a toll. She couldn’t stop the tears from coming to her eyes. Before she knew it, she was sobbing. “You can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep working all day and taking care of me and the house and not seeing anyone and not talking to your family……You’re not being careful enough. You’re going to be sick, and it’s going to be all my fault. If only you didn’t have such a deadbeat wife…” She choked back a sob. “Don’t argue with me. I literally can’t do anything right now except lay here. Go, go sleep on the couch. You can pack your bags tomorrow.”
“Trish.” He dragged out her name like he had only done a few times in the history of ever. “Come here.” His arms were out, and she felt herself pulled to his chest. “This is not going to last forever.” He had just a hint of harshness in his tone. “Let me say it again. This is not going to last forever. You’re going to get well, and life is going to be good again. It will.”
“But it’s not fair,” she argued. “You’re taking care of me and making all the money. It’s not fair. You should just leave.”
The room grew silent, and she felt his heartbeat, and with that, her breathing slowed. “Now, now,” he said softly stroking her hair. The last thing she knew before she fell asleep was him singing to her—she thinks it was Austin’s Superhero.
In the days that followed, Dez was solemn, and Trish knew without a shadow of a doubt that she had hurt him deeply. Somehow, despite all of her grumpiness and insecurities; he loved her deeply. He was committed to her and found it impossible to understand that she would imagine anything else. After that, she knew that no matter what happened or how horrible she felt she could never say that to him again. She might be more miserable than she had ever been in her life, but making him miserable too was completely uncalled for. She could tell him about the suffocating way her throat ached or her pounding headache, but she should never ever tell him he should leave. He loved her too much for that not to cause him excruciating pain. Remembering back to that day, she feels a twinge of shame for what she did, yet that memory also gives her a new consolation in the depths of her sorrow and misery—how deeply Dez loves her.
She has known he loved her for quite some time. Thinking back, she has to say that she knew that even in the Austin and Ally days when they were just friends who bickered all the time. There was this undercurrent of understanding, respect, and love that began the day they met and never stopped. She has always known that Dez would always be happy to see her no matter what the circumstances of their reunion were. Their very souls have always been fond of each other, and deep down, she has always known that.
Things changed when they got together, and he told her he loved her all the time and hugged her every time he saw her. He showered her with kindness often in the form of little surprises that she would have thought very dorky if they hadn’t pointed back to the king of dorkiness himself who she happened to love very much. She had always been sure of the genuineness of his love. He wasn’t like Chuck who had always left her wondering why he was making such gestures to her and not someone else. No, Dez was the real deal--warmhearted and endlessly devoted to her and only her.
Yet, she hadn’t realized until now how much she had assumed his love depended on her. She was always quick to point to something as the reason for his love for her—their similarities, her charm, or on a good day her looks. But these days, she can offer him literally nothing. She’s not good company; she’s whiny and has no news to tell. Heck, she’s not even awake most days when he gets home or when he leaves. She can’t clean or run errands or do the laundry. She’s stuck in bed where she’s sucking what little energy he has left after his long days of work. Still, he loves her just as much as always.
She has always understood unconditional love with her head. She has always been the daughter who wants to do things for her parents and is deeply grateful for what they have done for her. She appreciates her friends and when she can tells them so. Still, she has to say that she’s never really understood what it means to be loved before now. She has always tried so hard to be lovable and to prove to herself that she is worth all the love she receives. It always made her feel strong to imagine that she was giving as much as she was taking and helping others as much as she was helped. Now, she can see that she doesn’t have to do that. She is loved—simply because she is loved. It is the most beautiful—the most freeing thing in the world. She doesn’t feel that she could ever deserve it, and maybe that’s the point.
She is up to a little more these days. She’s job hunting from her bed and still awake when Dez comes home. But she doesn’t want to ever go back to trying to prove she’s worthy of everyone else’s love. It’s a deep pit—deeper than the darkness of her illness. She wants to remember that she is loved because that’s what unconditional love does and she is lucky enough to have people who love like that in her life. As hard as these past weeks have been, she’d say they’ve been worth it in the end. How can you put a price on truly understanding what it means to be loved?
#trez#austin and ally#austin & ally#austin and ally fanfiction#dez x trish#trish x dez#trish de la rosa#dez wade
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