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rosiehunterwolf · 3 years ago

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little things

Prompts: Hugs and Crying

Word Count: 3,251

Characters: Lloyd and Kai

Timeline: Immediately after episode 18 (Child's Play)

Trigger Warnings: Trauma, Brief panic attacks

Summary: "Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things."

-Kurt Vonnegut

Lloyd’s tired of being left behind. How is he meant to be the green ninja when he always has to work harder, train better, and wait longer to go on missions with his team? He wants nothing more than to be their equal.

At least, that’s what he thought he wanted.

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The trip back to the Destiny’s Bounty that night was thick with tension. No one spoke, but Lloyd could feel Kai’s gaze boring into him.

He wished the fire ninja would look at something else. He didn’t want to think about what he was looking at.

It had been Lloyd’s choice, and he knew it. Not that his range of options had exactly been wide when a huge, ninja-eating monster had been looming over them, but he had made the choice nonetheless.

He just hadn’t expected it to be like this.

He had thought that not being a little boy anymore meant he got to become stronger, fight better, and, of course, accompany the ninja on their missions.

But he hadn’t thought about the way his legs would become so much longer suddenly, forcing him to concentrate so he wouldn’t trip. Or how his hair would dangle too-long in his face, or how the green gi, on which the sleeves and pant legs had been rolled up a ridiculous amount of times, now fit perfectly. Reminding him too much of who he was and what he was meant to do.

Most of all, though, he hadn’t expected the gaping ache in his chest, like someone had ripped out his heart. He didn’t understand where it came from or what it meant, only that the sparkling display racks in the windows of Doomsday Comix had never felt more distant than they did now.

Their arrival at the monastery couldn’t come soon enough, and Lloyd began to dart down the hall, anxious to get away from the prying eyes of the others. Before he could get far, however, a hand snatched his wrist, and he looked back to see Kai staring at him apprehensively.

“Hey, bud. We’re here for you. You don’t need to go running off on your own.”

Lloyd shook his head. “I’m not. I just wanna go take a shower.” The voice that came from his throat wasn’t his, it was too deep. He didn’t even recognize himself anymore.

Lloyd repressed a shiver of dread, realizing Kai was still looking at him expectantly. “I got… there was a lot of rubble and dust when the Grundle caved in the roof, I just wanna get clean. I’m fine.”

Kai stared at him for a long moment, and for once Lloyd couldn’t read the expression in his eyes. Relenting, he let out his breath, dropping Lloyd’s wrist. “You’re not. But whatever.”

Lloyd merely nodded, realizing that wasn’t the most reassuring answer he could give, but being reluctant to hear his own voice again.

Forcing himself to turn away, he headed down the hallway, passing the ninja’s cabin and heading towards his room a little way down.

Uncle Wu had cleared out the small storage room for him that first night he had stayed on the Bounty, and it had been his ever since. He had appreciated the gesture, to have his own space away from the others, and it had always been a comforting little place for him.

But now, as he gazed around at it, the room itself wasn’t the only thing that was small anymore. The bed in the corner was no longer large enough for him, the mirror mounted on the wall was too low down, the Starfarer comics piled on the nightstand were too juvenile and suddenly much less interesting.

Lloyd sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes. There was no point lingering here. He might as well go take a shower like he had promised Kai.

But when he pulled open the drawer on his dresser, he paused, gazing down at the clothes.

Everything was too small. Of course it was.

Lloyd took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair as he tried to push down the bubbling panic in his chest.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Letting out his breath again, he grabbed a pair of old, baggy pajama shorts that had always been too big on him anyway, and an undershirt from his gi.

Slipping through the halls, he made it to the bathroom at the end of the ship and quietly pulled the door shut behind him.

As he undressed, all he could focus on was his body, how it was bigger and older and different now. He forcibly shoved the thoughts out of his head before he had a breakdown and stepped into the shower.

Lloyd turned the shower as hot as it would go, barely even noticing as the water scalded his skin. He didn’t know how long he stood there, only that the water kept getting colder and colder until his teeth were chattering. Not even bothering to wash his hair, he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a bath towel, pressing his face into it.

He couldn’t do this. He had thought he could handle it, but he couldn’t. Lloyd was barely clutching on to the last threads of his sanity, and he needed to get out of here.

Quickly changing into the shorts and undershirt, he walked over to the window and carefully pushed it open. Stars twinkled at him from the dark sky, and he glanced down. The bathroom was at the top of the ship, just behind the bridge, so it was about a twenty-foot drop to the ground- easily enough to break a leg.

Biting his lip, he grabbed onto the window frame and pulled himself out, gripping onto the side of the ship as his feet found purchase on the windowsill. As he slowly stood, he accidentally caught sight of his face in the reflection in the window and nearly slipped, gasping sharply as he just barely caught himself from falling.

Get yourself together, Lloyd. You’re still yourself, just a little older. Stop being such a crybaby.

Reaching up for the edge of the roof of the bridge, he hauled himself up and crawled back from the edge a bit. Staring out over the trees, the soft glow of the city in the distance, he glanced down at his hands. Fingers too long, palms too rough.

He hadn’t known it was going to be like this. All he had done was age up a few years. It was a small sacrifice to make, seeing as the Grundle would’ve killed them all otherwise. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. Lloyd shouldn’t have been acting so selfishly.

He wrapped his arms around his legs, curling up into a ball.

For the first time that night, Lloyd let himself cry.

---

Kai paced back and forth across the hallway. “Ugh! Why do I let him leave? I know he always locks himself in his room and never comes back to talk to me!”

Zane frowned. “I know this is difficult and confusing for you, Kai- it is for all of us. But Lloyd’s always been much less straightforward than you. Perhaps we should try a less direct approach.”

“You’re saying I should just let him sulk alone for the rest of the night?”

“What I’m saying is that maybe we should just give him a little time to himself, time to process, before we all go barging in to speak to him.”

“Just because Lloyd thinks he wants to be alone doesn’t mean he should be. Isolation isn’t going to solve anything.”

“Kai,” Cole sighed, “that’s not what we’re saying at all. This is just a sensitive situation for Lloyd, and we don’t want to provoke him the wrong way.”

“A sensitive situation?” Kai barked. “Don’t you think I know that? But I’m telling you, he needs someone! Don’t you see? That’s what he does! He tells us he’s fine, but he’s not! Of course he’s not! And- and I want to help him, but I can’t. When he needs me most, I have no idea what to do. Augh, why did I let him come with us? I knew it was too dangerous!”

“Kai,” Zane put a cool hand on his shoulder. “Calm down. There’s nothing you could’ve done.”

“Nothing I could’ve done?” Kai blinked up at him through watery eyes. “I was supposed to protect him.”

Nya squeezed his hand. “You can’t blame yourself for this, Kai. You can’t.”

“I’m not trying to. It’s just… hard. This isn’t some small little mishap we can go back and fix. This is big.”

“I know, but he’s strong. He’s going to get through it. I think Zane’s right, we should tread lightly. Although,” she paused, her brow furrowing, “I am starting to get pretty worried about him. He’s been in there a long time.”

“Wait,” Jay frowned. “In his room?”

“No, the bathroom.”

Kai’s head snapped towards her. “Wait, what? Did he go in there again?”

Nya shook her head. “I’ve been watching the door. He never left after he went in the first time.”

Cole glanced between them. “How long has he been in there?”

Kai’s gaze darted anxiously towards the bathroom door. “He went in there to take a shower nearly an hour ago.”

Cole’s eyes darkened. “Yeah, that’s too long. Let’s go.”

They hurried over to the bathroom door and the others hovered anxiously behind as Cole rapped his knuckles on the wood, leaning his ear against it. “Lloyd, you okay in there?”

There was no answer.

Cole knocked harder, and Kai could feel the anxiety building. “Lloyd? Bud? We just wanna talk.”

“Okay,” Nya breathed after a moment, “Lloyd’s as stubborn as a mule, but he doesn’t purposely worry us like this. Something’s wrong.”

“Zane,” Cole said, the struggle to keep calm evident in his voice. “Can you pick up anything?”

Zane stilled for a moment. “My sensors don’t detect any sign of movement.”

Kai’s heart skipped a beat. “Get me in.” Shoving past the others, he lunged for the door handle, yanking on it- but it didn’t budge. “He locked it! Why would he lock it?”

“We need a lock pick!” Jay yelped. “Nya, do you have a bobby pin?”

“I can get one, I’ll be right back!”

“Lloyd!” Cole yelled, banging on the door. “Open the door! Don’t do anything dumb!”

“Talk to us, bud!” Kai cried. “Please!”

“I’m back,” Nya huffed, skidding across the floor and holding out the pin. Jay snatched it from her hand and jiggled it in the lock, gritting his teeth. The others waited apprehensively as the seconds ticked by.

Jay pulled back with a sigh. “It’s not working.”

“Lloyd,” Kai moaned, “Open up!”

Cole glanced at them. “Should I break the door?”

Zane hesitated, then nodded. “Do it. We can always replace it later. Lloyd is more important.”

Everyone except for Cole stepped away from the door. The earth ninja held up his fists, and they glowed amber, the light spreading down his forearms.

“Stand back, Lloyd! I’m coming in!” Cole lunged forward, punching in the door and sending splinters of wood flying.

Kai darted to his side and stared into the bathroom, his breath caught in his throat.

Jay stepped around them, pulling back the shower curtain. Empty.

Just like the rest of the room.

“He’s not here?” Cole asked. “I just destroyed the door for nothing?”

“That’s impossible!” Nya yelped. “I saw him go in, and he never left! I’m positive.”

Kai’s eyes lingered on the far wall. “I know where he went.”

The others followed his gaze towards the open window, and Jay’s eyes widened. “He went out the window? That fall could seriously injure him!”

Kai shook his head. “He didn’t go down, he went up.” Glancing back at the others, he added, “Perhaps Zane had a point about the whole subtlety thing. Let me go talk to him first.”

The others exchanged reluctant glances, but stepped back.

Kai pulled himself out the window, balancing carefully as his fingers found the edge of the roof’s shingles. A chilly breeze hit him in the face, but he ignored it, hauling himself the rest of the way up with a soft grunt.

Lloyd was sitting a few feet away, curled in on himself as he stared off into the distance. Kai slowly eased his way over to him and the two sat in silence for a while.

Kai forced himself to look at the boy and felt a tug on his heartstrings. The way he sat there, so quiet and still, was as unlike Lloyd as his new appearance.

Kai shook his head. He couldn’t allow himself to think like that. No doubt Lloyd already had enough of those thoughts going through his head. This was still the same person. He was still Lloyd. He was still his little brother.

Kai leaned closer, allowing his shoulder to lightly bump against Lloyd’s. The green ninja gasped suddenly, as if just realizing he was there, and quickly scrubbed at his eyes. The action made him seem more like the young child that had been left behind. That, and the fact that he was shivering.

“Dude, you’re freezing!” He glanced down to see Lloyd was only wearing a pair of baggy shorts and a light tank top. “Why aren’t you wearing any proper clothes?”

Lloyd’s cheeks flushed, and he dipped his head, muttering under his breath.

“What?”

“I don’t have any proper clothes, okay?” More quietly, he added, “Nothing fits me anymore.”

Oh, Lloyd. “Hey, why didn’t you come to me? Y’know I’ve got way more clothes than I’ll ever wear, me and the guys would be more than willing to share stuff with you. And we’ll take you shopping, too, so you can pick out some stuff of your own. How does that sound?”

Lloyd sniffed, wiping an arm across his face. “Yeah, that sounds… that sounds good.”

“Here.” Kai slipped his sweatshirt off and draped it over Lloyd’s shoulders. “It’s not exactly warm out. Don’t make yourself sick.”

“Thanks.” Lloyd pulled the sweatshirt tighter around his shoulders, and Kai felt a small swell of relief as he noticed it was still a little big on him. So his little brother hadn’t grown up completely yet.

“Bud,” he said gently, “it’s fine if you come up here, but tell us before you do next time, okay? We were worried about you.”

Lloyd looked down, still refusing to meet his gaze. “Sorry. I just… didn’t really want anyone to follow me.”

“I know, but you can’t be alone forever. It’s not going to fix anything.”

“Being together isn’t going to fix this, either.”

Kai winced. “Not physically, no. But we’ll be here for you emotionally. We’ll help you heal.”

“But I can’t-” Lloyd stopped, sighing. “Sorry. I’m being selfish.”

“Selfish? How is any of this selfish?”

“Because! You guys were risking your lives, and I made the decision that saved you, yet I’m regretting I did!” “First of all, you’re not regretting you saved us, you’re regretting the other consequences that came out of the choice. Second, it wasn’t much of a choice at all. The Grundle backed you into a corner- literally- and that was the only logical solution at the time. It’s not fair. It shouldn’t have been you. You shouldn’t have been there. You shouldn’t have been forced to make a decision like that. But you were. So you have every right to be upset, every right to complain. That is not selfish.”

Lloyd finally turned to look at him, a helpless, floundering expression on his face.

Kai took pity on him, putting an arm around him. “Lloyd, I’m here. Whether you wanna talk, or scream, or cry, or just need someone to lean on, I’m here.”

“I… I don’t know what to do, Kai. I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

“You are. You’re still the same Lloyd, still our friend, our little brother, our charge. This changes nothing between us. We’re gonna take care of you, okay?”

Lloyd sniffed, putting his hands over his face, and Kai elbowed him gently. “It’s okay to cry, y’know. No one’s gonna judge you for it.”

“But I�� I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“So? Everyone cries! It’s natural, and it doesn’t matter how old you are! I’ve cried, I’ve seen Cole cry, Jay cry, I’ve definitely seen Nya cry, and Zane- well, actually, I haven’t seen Zane cry. But that’s only because he’s a nindroid and physically can’t cry. He still gets upset sometimes, though.”

“I know, but… I just feel like I should be able to handle things better.”

“Are you crazy? I’d go insane if I suddenly just aged several years in the span of seconds. Compared to me, you’re handling it like a champ.”

Lloyd didn’t look at him. “Not really. I feel like a wreck right now.” His last words caught on a sob, and Kai glanced over at him, apprehension budding in his chest.

“Are you okay?”

Lloyd blinked rapidly, trying and failing to stop the tears spilling from his eyes. “Not really.”

“Can I hug you?”

Lloyd hesitated but nodded, and Kai wasted no time in wrapping his arms around Lloyd’s shoulders, pulling him close.

Kai didn’t know how long they sat there, but it was a while before Lloyd broke the silence. “Do you think the Final Battle is coming sooner, now that I’m older?”

“I don’t know. But whenever it is, I’m gonna be there. Even if that means I have to kick Garmadon’s ass for you.” He bit his lip, grinning sheepishly. “Shoot, I didn’t mean to say that in front of you.”

Lloyd snorted. “I already know that word.”

“Wait, who taught you that? Was it Nya? I bet it was Nya.” “It wasn’t any of you. I grew up at Darkley’s, what do you expect? That isn’t the only choice word I know.”

Kai’s eyes widened. “Don’t you dare tell Zane, he’ll have a fit.”

A brief smile flickered across Lloyd’s face, the first once Kai had seen all night.

“Hey, if I’m grown up now, I should at least get to use some bad words once in a while.”

“Not happenin’, bro,” Kai grinned. “You’re not that grown up yet.”

“I could be fifty and you’d still say that.”

“What can I say, you’ve got a baby face,” Kai smirked, putting his hands on either side of Lloyd’s head.

“Stop that,” Lloyd grumbled, pushing him away. “‘M not a baby.”

“You are, and no dumb tea can change that.”

Lloyd bit his lip, trying to look away, but Kai forced his head to turn, looking him in the eye.

“Lloyd. It’s okay. You don’t have to pretend like it’s all fine. Let it out.”

Lloyd gasped, half falling into his lap, and Kai gripped him tight. It’s gonna be okay, he told himself. He’s going to be okay. We all are.

Lloyd’s path had been difficult from the beginning. It wasn’t fair that all this had been thrown on him- he was just a kid, even now. But it had been, and Kai had an awful feeling that this wouldn’t be the worst hardship his youngest teammate would have to endure.

But next time he would do better. He was one of the four elemental masters of the elements of creation. It was his job to protect Lloyd, to keep him safe.

It made his heart break to see Lloyd, usually so spunky, so unshakable, like this, and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure it didn’t happen again.

But for now, he just hugged the green ninja.

He hoped, with time, it would be enough to heal him.

#ninjago #ninbingo #my fic #rosie writes #ninjago lloyd #ninjago kai #the 👏 show 👏 needs 👏 to 👏 give 👏 the 👏 ninja 👏 more 👏 consequences 👏 for 👏 their 👏 actions #seriously there's no way lloyd just walked the whole child's play thing off #he wasn't even phased in the next episode!#something had to happen in between change my mind #yes yes it's angsty but it had to be done #thanks for reading!#reblogs and comments greatly appreciated!

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yakocchi · 4 years ago

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hikaru is a cutie. too bad he’s got the assassin baggage. why are all the most decent personality ones the ones with the sketchiest jobs (thief? u cant put that on linkedin. assassin? lol? cosplayer that auctions illegal goods? ???)

this story honestly felt a bit rushed imo but let’s be real... all wedding episodes for the side characters are a rush job to either get them out of the picture quickly or catch them up to speed without having to spend several years on each season cuz they refuse to release kbtbb stories any faster than they currently do. like the epilogue for this isnt even on the schedule yet tf

spoilery bits of the final ep behind the cut cuz im bored

heres sum bits that should be brief and scattered enough for the voltage popo to not barge thru my door AUGH ��してぇ

[Baba]: “Well, if Ai-Ai isn’t going to show up - guess I’ll have to go steal the bride for myself, hm?” [Ota]: “No no - no matter how you slice it, it’d be totally weird if you were the groom, Baba.” [Luke]: “Both of you have dreadful bone structures, so you’d be a poor match for Sexy Bones...”

(...)

[Eisuke]: “Is your own love for Aihara slowly diminishing?” [Kara]: “...No. I will wait here for him.” [Eisuke]: “...Hmph.” Mr. Ichinomiya fell silent, turning on his heel. It was as if it was a cue to... (?!) Suddenly, the chapel turns completely dark. [Kara]: "Wh-What’s all this?!”

(...)

[Hikaru]: “ —Kara. ‘Kept you waiting.”

(...)

[Hikaru]: “...Time and time again, you’ve saved me.” [Hikaru]: “This time (there was a thing in this route) was not the only time.” [Hikaru]: “That time you went into the black market auctions yourself, and the time I fell into the ocean... you’ve always come to save me.”

(...)

[Hikaru]: “ —Kara. Thank you, for saving me from the darkness.” [Kara]: "Hikaru... from now on, let’s walk this path together, as two.” [Hikaru]: “Even if you didn’t say that, I’m not gonna let go of you any more.” [Hikaru]: “...I’m never going to let of your hand, and just your hand, no matter what happens.”

(...)

[Baba]: “Aww, Ai-Ai made her cry.” [Ota]: “What've you done, making her feel so anxious?” [Hikaru]: “Hey-... you guys suggested it - that if I wanted to have a memorable wedding, I should make the finest surprise.” [Kara]: "I-Is that what this was?!” [Kara]: "If this was a surprise after all - everyone was in the know and was just acting...!” [Mamoru]: "Yep. If it’s for your sake - even if he had to come crawlin’, he’ll come to ya on the dot.” [Luke]: “I’d like you to commend me for my show-stopping performance...” [Baba]: “Nah, you didn’t do much of anything, Lu.” [Soryu]: “It’s all thanks to Eisuke for gathering all of these flowers. Go give your greatest gratitude to him.” [Kara]: “Huh- even Mr. Ichinomiya...!” [Eisuke]: “...Heh. Since Aihara bowed his head down, it was simply an unavoidable situation.” [Hikaru]: “Ah, jeez...”

(...)

[Baba]: “Huh, what’s that? The ‘Always with you’ thing.” (this is a thing from the route) [Kara]: “?!” [Ota]: “Seems like it has a lot to do with that mug. I’m quite curious.” [Hikaru]: “W-Why’d you lot come here?” [Baba]: “Well of course, all of us are your (mc and hikaru) cupids, so we’ve come to take a photo.” [Shuichi]: “...If one were to seriously think about it, I think I'm the only one to be their cupid.” [Mamoru]: “Yeesh- What a straight-laced cupid we got here.” [Luke]: “I only want the photos of Sexy Bones’ collarbones.” [Soryu]: “...Then no one could ever call such a thing a wedding photo.” In the midst of our confusion, all of the penthouse members gather around us in a flash. [Eisuke]: “...” [Hikaru]: “Why did you come over here?” (I wonder... could it be that this is Mr. Ichinomiya’s way of congratulating us...?) Mr. Ichinomiya gives instructions to the Hatter. [Eisuke]: “Mad Hatter - You, take the photo quickly. You don’t fit in.”

more literally he says, “The balance/harmony is bad,” saying that maddy doesn’t fit in with the rest of them in terms of being in the photo (probably bc his mad hatter getup sticks out like a sore thumb).

[Mad Hatter]: “Understood, sir. As you wish,” [Hikaru]: “ — If we’re gonna take a photo of everyone together, we can just use the timer. Let’s take a pic with the Mad Hatter.” [Mad Hatter]: “Is that all right, Master?” [Hikaru]: “Mhm, that way it’d become a memento. Right, Kara?” [Kara]: “Mm-hmm, I especially want to take a picture with the Hatter - with everyone together.” [Mad Hatter]: “If Alice says so, I have no choice but to abide, hm.” [Shuichi]: “...Goodness. The me from long ago would never think that I would celebrate Hikaru’s wedding with such a strange group.” [Hikaru]: “Mhm, same.”

(...)

ok im tired of the quick dumb excerpts goodnight

#kbtbb #hikaru aihara #spoilers

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second-chance-stray · 4 years ago

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RP Log: (Bucket List) Cravs and Lin go looking for a Pineapple.

Cravendy Hound - Circling steps can be heard upstairs. Thump, thump, thump, pause. Thump, thump thump. Finally, with a bucket full of papers in her arms, Cravs steps down the stairs looking bothered...her mind lost in who knows where. And what happens next is completely out of character for her - she trips! The notes scatter into the air.

Aislinn North ask anyone who knew her and most would tell you that Aislinn was a patient person. But everyone has their limits. She sat in the library pushing her notes around on the wide table. There was nothing for her to do but wait. Wait for Atreus to return from Ishgard with some news. Any news. Her utter lack of doing anything productive was interrupted by Cravendy's tumble down the stairs. She looks up sharply from her notes at the clattering noise and watches the pages waft....

Aislinn North gently down around the Seawolf like oversized confetti. She's quiet as they settle. Then, she's prodded into action, getting to her feet and making her way to the woman. "Are you alright?" she asks as she kneels down and starts collecting the papers.

Cravendy Hound: "Goddamn, 'alf broken buncha wooden...L-LIN?!" Cravs blusters. She forces the next string of swears back down with a pained swallow. Lin was just the person she was looking for, but she wasn't ready. The entirety of her morning had been spent procrastinating, organizing and reorganizing the notes that were now lay dispersed across the floor.

Cravendy Hound hurriedly begins to gather the papers in sloppy handfuls while her mind races to come up with a plan. A set of words to respectfully ask - do you want to work on Wyda's bucket list? Not to take anything away from what you two had, but she's gone, and she wanted to do a lot with you...maybe it'd be a nice thing to do anyway? Without realizing it, Cravs mutters those two questions out loud.

Aislinn North gives Cravendy a sidelong glance, a short huff of amusement issuing from her chest as she continues collecting the papers. "You sound surprised." she said, her quiet voice dry as usual. As she's depositing a handful of pages in Cravendy's bucket and concentrating on -NOT- asking Cravendy why she's carrying about papers in a bucket, the Seawolf's blurted words fill the space between them. Aislinn's hand stills at the pail's rim, pages in hand. She stares at Cravendy, her face carefully blank..

Aislinn North Looking down at the pages, she can now make out Wyda's scrawled handwriting. "These are Wyda's papers?"

(Aislinn North) ((OMG....a literal bucket list XD)) (Cravendy Hound) gotta do it xD ))

Cravendy Hound: "Blood 'ell. Bloody seven 'ells. Did I? I did, didn't I? I bloody did, didn't I?" Cravs stammers, heat rising into her already flushed face. She can't bear to get up and look at Lin's face, instead just sort of...sinks deeper towards the ground, trying and failing to hide how red she is. "A-aye. She left 'em on the floor and walls of our room like a crazy person, shite like 'go sleddin' and 'go sleddin' backwards.' And a lotta them call ye out. Like, erm."

Cravendy Hound feels around and grabs a random paper. "Eat pineapples. With...Lin. So do you maybe want to...find one and...eat one.." Her voice gets very small.

Aislinn North She sits down on the floor next to Cravendy and sifts through a few of the pages. She was right. All of them an unfinished list of things Wyda had wanted to do but never had the opportunity. Several of them remind her of the last conversation she had with Wyda. Where they had talked about what they would do after returning from the Red Argos job. Looking back it struck Aislinn that Wyda had to have some inkling. Some idea that she probably wasn't coming back. ...

Aislinn North Wordlessly, she lets the pages slip through her fingers into the bucket and glances over at Cravendy. The Seawolf is hunched over, as if afraid to even look at her. If she didn't already feel like a timebomb with all this aether business, Cravendy's look would have done it. "Hey." she says quietly, stopping short of nudging the woman's shoulder. "I like this idea. Can't say I've ever eaten a pineapple. Know where we can get one?"

Cravendy Hound blinks. Lin likes the idea? Though it wasn't outside the realm of possibility, Cravs had a habit of overthinking things until it felt like fantasy. She wipes her face with both her hands and tries to 'reset' herself. It works for the most part. She looks normal...if you ignore all the redness.

Cravendy Hound: "They're a rare find in Eastern La Noscea. Even seasoned botanists 'ave trouble locatin' them, so no ones sellin'. But maybe if we go lookin' ourselves, we'll be lucky?" Cravs shrugs.

Aislinn North nods thoughtfully. "Well," she glances over her shoulder back to library where she had been keeping an anxious, fruitless vigil. Pineapple hunting was clearly the better option by far. "No time like the present, aye? We could both use some time away from the house, in any event. We're due some leave time." she decided. "Let's grab some things and head out."

Cravendy Hound panics just slightly. Everything’s happening so fast, she didn’t expect this! And now?! She doesn’t know what to do with herself. Prepare? Right, right. Cravs entrusts the bucket of crumpled notes with the front desk worker and then just stands there, waiting. Oh wait, shoes? Check. She is /golden/.

(Cravendy Hound) what could even be 'pineappling equipment' XD ))

Aislinn North Aislinn, meanwhile, turns and heads back to her study. If she was heading out to hunt pineapples in La Noscea she certainly wasn't going in a casual dress and lacking the usual firearm. She returns a few ticks later, much better prepared for this sort of excursion and seemingly undaunted by Cravendy's sparse preparation. "Right, then. Ready?"

(Aislinn North) ((comfortable shoes? I think Cravs gots it!)) (Cravendy Hound) ehehhe lins coming prepared with GUN )) (Aislinn North) ((She never leaves home without it!)) (Aislinn North) ((THose pineapples could be dangerous!)) (Cravendy Hound) two extremes, I love it >:D )) (Cravendy Hound) *gruff protagonist voice* You can never be too prepared... ))

Cravendy Hound - Thank the twelve for aetheryte travel! Though the moment Cravs appears by the Costa del Sol crystal, she covers her face and quickly hands payment to the crystal's guard. Without letting anyone get a good look at her face, she makes a beeline to the cliffs waits for Lin in the brush.

(Aislinn North) arrives a moment later, a hand to her chest as though bracing for something. After a few beats she relaxes. Gods, that was beyond foolish. Looking around she just catches sight of a flash of red as Cravendy disappears into the brush. Shaken, Aislinn hurries to catch up. "In a real rush about these pineapples." she jests as she falls in step alongside Cravendy.

Cravendy Hound: “Let’s just say the locals ain’t a fan of me.” Cravs takes a look around, exuding the aura of a person who knows what they’re doing. Until she turns around, still just as confident, and says this. “Why do they call ‘em pineapples if they don’t look like pine trees? Or do they grow on somethin’ that looks like a pine tree?”

Cravendy Hound knows these three facts about Pineapples. They’re found in Eastern La Noscea (though she doesn’t know exactly where). They’re fruit. They’re yellow.

(Cravendy Hound) oops I guess she's talking about Pineapples the proper noun )) (Aislinn North) ((Pineapple the pineapple))

Aislinn North Glances back at Costa del Sol, imagining all the things Cravendy could have done to make her less than welcome. With Cravs temper, Aislinn can imagine a few. "Hmm...maybe because they're prickly up top?" she says, turning back to the Seawolf. "Maybe it's a derivation of 'spine apple' and just became 'pineapple' somewhere along the way." she looks out over the land. "But I'm just guessing. And they'd probably need soil. So I'm thinking the more inland, the better." ...

Aislinn North she nods and points up towards the direction of Wineport.

Aislinn North And just like that, the skies above open and a steady rain begins to fall. "Tch." Aislinn stares unimpressed up at the sky and then turns a flat look on Cravendy. "Every. Time." she observes. It seems she and Cravendy could do nothing without the rain following the Seawolf wherever she went.

(Aislinn North) ((Of course it's raining)) (Cravendy Hound) I can't remember the last time it wasn't raining when I came here )) (Aislinn North) ((Me either! I'm telling you! The game -knows-))

Cravendy Hound: "Augh, didn't ye 'ave to say it? Spine apple? Now I'm thinkin' of an apple made of spine meat...though that could be good in soup," Cravs grumbles. She gives it real thought. "Needin' soil doesn't exactly narrow down our search, but I'm always a fan of goin' to Wineport. Come on, this way."

Cravendy Hound heads north, in the direction of the ferry that must be crossed to get to Wineport. She makes idle chit chat as she walks. "Of course it's rainin'...Oi! Whoever's up there, aren't ye gettin' bored usin' the same weather over and over?"

Aislinn North As they walk, Aislinn keeps a steady eye on the ground, kicking aside the brush as they go. On the lookout for this elusive pineapple. "Sledding down a hill backwards." she suddenly says with a low burble of laughter. Clearly, her mind was still on what Cravendy had told her of Wyda's notes. "Because why sled down a hill the normal way when you could do something else. Something more." there's a fondness in her voice as she spoke.

Cravendy Hound: "Sounds dumb and dangerous. She 'ad 'er screws too loose..." Cravs lets out a low sigh. And yet that was one of the reasons why she was interested in doing these bucket list items, wasn't it? To learn how to let go after a lifetime of being on edge. "...but I...and maybe, we, are wound too tight. Need to find a middle ground."

Cravendy Hound observes the plain bush in front of her. Pineapple bush? She lifts its leaves, noses deep into the plant, then suddenly pulls back. BUGS? YUP. BUGS.

Aislinn North "Maybe there's good reason we're wound tight." Aislinn counters, without rancor, as though she's merely making an observation. She watches Cravendy, knowing now to steer clear of that particular kind of plant. She turns away and heads deeper into the brush. "But I'm not saying you're wrong. It's...exhausting sometimes." she admits quietly.

Aislinn North Leans down and pulls at the stout, sword leafed plant before her. The crown breaks from the root and a foul smell permeates the air. Definitely not a pineapple. She backs swiftly away and coughs.

Cravendy Hound 's frown deepens. The two of them were like two yangs without a yin to balance them out, and the fact that she understood the exhaustion Lin was talking about...well, she was tired of it. The sun is shining and danger is malms away - they deserved to relax once in a while. They did! But why was it so hard?

Cravendy Hound: "We'll feel better once we find that spineapple! COME ON." Cravs is determined to fight against her own nature and have a 'good time.'

Cravendy Hound doesn't know the first thing about plants though. She uproots what looks to be a mini-palm tree and holds it up to Lin. "What the 'ell is this? Can we eat it?"

Aislinn North laughs lowly as she doggedly continues her search. "I don't think Wyda considered the work in gathering a pineapple." she kneels down, rooting through the vegetation. "-That's- why we worked. One of us was wound tight, the other looser than a ribbon on the wind. We didn't try to be any other way. And together we balanced out to middle ground." She looks up as Cravs produces a small tree. "I think...well, technically yes. But I don't think it'd taste good."

Cravendy Hound: "Yeah...but it's okay. We can be uptight together. Like two 'ammers without any nails." Cravs smiles. Though she's determined to grow and free herself of her constant anxiety, she understands that no one changes overnight. It'll be a long journey.

Cravendy Hound notices a bug crawling from the uprooted tree onto her hand. Wordlessly, Cravs chucks the tree into the sky, where it disappears into the distance. WHOOSH.

(Cravendy Hound) LOL I wonder how these two will stumble onto one....so far they're hopeless ahah )) (Cravendy Hound) *stabs random tree* hmmm )) (Aislinn North) ((*holds up a rock* )) (Cravendy Hound) LOL pretty much )) (Cravendy Hound) at least they're getting some sun now :D )) (Aislinn North) ((And away from the fish)) (Cravendy Hound) LOL NOoo the fish ))

Aislinn North gaze flicks to the small tree in surprise as it goes sailing off. It's probably a good thing there aren't too many people around. Just to be sure, she pauses, listening for any yell of alarm or indignation. After a moment, she shrugs and goes back to wandering and searching. "What's with this fixation?" she asks as she moves along but then stops and looks at Cravendy over her shoulder with a dawning realization. "Twelve. You're wound up tight about being wound up tight." ...

Aislinn North a smile threading through her words.

Cravendy Hound: "What fixation. What." She claps her hands, brushing them free of dirt and anything else that might remain. "...Pff, I'm not uptight about nothin'. Now less talkin' and let's go find this goddamn fruit."

Cravendy Hound stomps ahead, slightly embarrassed by the exchange. "Is this the way to the docks? Seems like we keep climbin' up."

(Aislinn North) She merely shakes her head, a soft huff of amusement leaving her. But Lin knew when to leave well enough alone. "Docks are back that way." she calls out to Cravendy and jerks a thumb over her shoulder. "Let's see if we have better luck on the other side."

Cravendy Hound: "Ah right, right." She turns heel and dashes back in the direction Lin's pointing in. Stupid-stupid-stupid, how many times had she been here? How could she get lost? Cravs sighs...her mind was truly in the gutter.

Aislinn North Steps out of the ferry into the humid shade of the jungle. Almost immediately she can feel her shirt start to stick to her skin. Nevertheless she doggedly makes her way up the stairs. "Right then...gotta be better on this side. Pineapples like the humidity, right?" She really had no idea.

Aislinn North turns around in a slow circle at the bridge, taking in the three directions they could go. "What do you think?" she asks Cravendy and points out all the ways they could go.

Cravendy Hound always appreciates how fresh and floral the rainforest smells. On the ferry ride over, she dips her hand into the water and splashes some of it over her arms. And she would've tried to splash Lin if she hadn't left so quickly. Cravs releases water between her fingers and hurries up the stairs.

Cravendy Hound: "Uhhh, pineapples like...water. So." A pause. "Yeah."

Cravendy Hound: "But not as much as watermelon. Anyway! I've got a good feelin' about goin' south. Even 'eard that's where a cuttin' of bacchus grape was found, so who knows what else might be over yonder."

(Cravendy Hound) cravs: very few points in INT )) (Aislinn North) ((Aww come on! She knew about the Bacchus grape though! :D)) (Cravendy Hound) some points in WIS! :D )) (Aislinn North) ((hehe!))

Aislinn North Turns about and looks down the path to the south. It seemed as good a place to choose as any. She nods "That's as much of an endorsement as we need, I think." she says and starts off. "You ever wander out this way before? Can't say I've had a reason to see this part of the island. Suppose that's another good thing to come out of this pineapple hunt. Sightseeing."

Cravendy Hound: "Yeah, been 'ere afore. Not often, but sometimes...when we were moored out 'ere for a couple of suns. Mostly we'd go collect coconuts, wood, anythin' else that could come in 'andy for the long 'aul." She pauses a few steps onto the bridge to peer over the planks, holding precariously on the rope supports. "View's nice too."

Cravendy Hound glances over to Lin with a cheeky grin. "Ye scared of 'eights?"

Aislinn North "But not pineapples?" Lin's voice takes on a teasing lilt. She leans out, not quite as far as Cravendy, and looks below them at the lazy river far below. At the Seawolf's question she lets out a small snort. "Not really. Not anymore." she pauses, a flicker of some subdued emotion crossing her expression. There and then gone again. Smiling again, she continues. "Bertram used to climb....every thing when he got upset as a child. Walls. Buildings. Ren could never figure out where he had gone...

Aislinn North "I started to learn to look up. Then I learned to climb after him. Otherwise he'd be gone for suns." she looks up at Cravendy with a wry twist of her lips. "And I take it, from the way you're just hanging over the ropes there, you're not afraid of them either."

Cravendy Hound: "Never a pineapple. Though I was never lookin' for one so..." She shrugs. "Maybe we'll find one. Maybe we won't."

Cravendy Hound: "Where the 'ell would 'e climb to? Rooftops? And just for fun?" Cravs ponders a moment. Windy didn't strike her as the type to take a risk for the hell of it, but then again, he ran faster than a chocobo. A possible sign of madness.

Aislinn North "Well not with that attitude, we won't." she said, light and teasing. But next she nods. "Aye, rooftops. Parapets. Any place high above the noise. Likely still does it." she shakes her head as though trying to shake off a bad memory. She nods the rest of the way across the bridge. "The place they found that special grape over there? Or do you know?"

Cravendy Hound: "Ye don't think 'e loiters on 'eartwood's roof, do ye? I mean, that'll keep the pigeons from roostin' up there but it's a bit...odd." She turns to point down the bridge with a confident nod. "Aye, somewhere on the other side. But actually, I want to show ye somethin'. Stand in the center with me for a second."

Aislinn North Decides Cravendy's question is more rhetorical than anything. Mainly because she simply didn't want to answer. Instead she follows the Seawolf out the center of the bridge but halts suddenly. "Wait." she stares down at the slapdash haphazard collection of worn planks that was supposed to be a patch job of some sort. "Really?" she next throws Cravendy an incredulous look. And yet, as piecemeal as the patch seems to be, it *is* holding the Roegadyn's weight. "Nymeia's breath." ...

Aislinn North she mutters a few other choice words as she wraps a hand around the railing and edges her way out to Cravendy. "I said I wasn't scared of heights. I didn't say I was stupid."

(Aislinn North) ((This is a testament as to how much she trusts Cravendy. I have a feeling that's about to be tested. XD)) (Cravendy Hound) oh no xD ))

Cravendy Hound: "Well, since yer not scared of 'eights and all...HAH!" Without warning, she gives the ropes a violent shake, sending a turbulent vibration throughout the bridge's deck. The motion is magnified at the center, which, coincidentally, is also the most shoddily built part of the bridge. Planks of wood twist at the nail; a few even teeter off and fall into the ravine!

Cravendy Hound: "AAAaAhaHAhAAaaa!" Cravs howls with a yell that's most parts laughter. She hangs on for dear life and glances over to catch Lin's reaction.

Aislinn North Like a cat suddenly faced with the prospect of falling into water, Aislinn all but attaches herself to the shaking ropes as if they were literal lifelines. "Seven burning hells, Cravendy!" she yells over the Seawolf's howls of laughter. Several obscenities follow. The litany goes on but as the bridge sways and creaks, she hears herself and the ridiculousness of it all. A laugh creeps into her voice even as she keeps shouting. ...

Aislinn North "And Nymeia so help me, if I die, I'm haunting you until the end of your days. Forever!" But they both know by now it's an idle threat. The patch job is clearly holding.

Cravendy Hound has to catch her breath in between cackling. As the bridge steadily stabilizes, she puts a hand on Lin's shoulder to help the other woman find her balance. "Bloody 'ells, the...the look on yer face at first, pffhahah! Like ye were gonna bloody murder me, ye were!"

Cravendy Hound: "Hehe, it's. It's somethin' the locals do. Why d'ye think there are so many planks at the center? People've been chasin' stupid fun since the dawn of this bridge." She stomps on the planks for good measure.

Aislinn North Breathless, Aislinn cautiously unwraps her arms from around the ropes and stops hugging the side. "Not gonna lie, the idea may have crossed my mind." she huffed at the Seawolf. But there's a look of exhiliration in the depths of her eye. "And for some poor fools the bridge *did* crack" she waves a hand at the collection of worn planks with one hand as the other rubs absently at her chest. She's silent a moment and then "Gods above, Cravendy!" ...

Aislinn North she yells all over again but this time with the laughter that comes with the relief of being alive.

Cravendy Hound: "Don't worry, if ye fell I'd catch ye. And it wouldn't be the first time it 'appened." She pats Lin twice on the shoulder and then turns to finally (thank god) FINALLY step onto the other side.

Aislinn North pauses at Cravendy's words and peers down to the long drop below. She hurries to catch up, glad to once again be on solid ground. "What do you mean it wouldn't be the *first* time?!"

(Cravendy Hound) kdjfls at some point these two dorks have got to find a pineapple xD )) (Aislinn North) ((The pineapple is a metaphor xD They're destined to never find it.))

Cravendy Hound: "People 'ave fell! And I caught most of 'em. Cept that one time...Hm...Don't worry. There's water at the bottom anyway." Cravs waves off Lin's questioning.

Aislinn North narrows her eyes, almost sure Cravendy was pulling her leg

Cravendy Hound: "They lived! It was fine!" Cravs says with a laugh. "Nothin' a little conjury can't fix."

(Cravendy Hound) kjdflsj dahahah )) (Cravendy Hound) the true treasure was the friends we made on the way )) (Aislinn North) ((*rainbows*)) (Cravendy Hound) but for my own IRL love of pineapples, I do hope they find one....and yet. And yet, why not roll? Why not roll )) (Cravendy Hound) Random! 906 (Cravendy Hound) ohhh that's actually pretty good. sometimes I hope for the low rolls because I'm just like that xD ))

Aislinn North "Hmm" a doubtful noise from the back of her throat. "Just makes me glad to be in one piece." she turns to survey the land again. "This pineapple...almost cost me my life." she says, purposefully melodramatic

(Aislinn North) ((That's a good roll!)) (Aislinn North) Random! 97 (Aislinn North) ((That....is a garbage roll)) (Cravendy Hound) ahhahah the two sides of the spectrum )) (Cravendy Hound) we can take the middle ground - there is pineapple, but not served on a silver platter...? XD )) (Aislinn North) ((Schrodinger's pineapple.))

Cravendy Hound: "Imagine gettin' that written on yer gravestone. Died lookin' for pineapple." Cravs chuckles, but then...looks like she's seriously considering her own question. "Ye know, it's not the worst way to bite the bullet."

Aislinn North now that her breathing has *almost* returned to normal, she begins poking at vegetation again. "Falling to your death?" she asks, just to be sure that's what Cravendy is indeed talking about. "I suppose...I mean, wouldn't be my *choice* but there are definitely worse ways to go."

Cravendy Hound: "If ye could choose, 'ow would ye 'ave it? I think most would answer slippin' away from old age, surrounded by loved ones. But I...I can't see myself fadin' away like that. If I go defendin' something worthwhile, that'll be good enough."

Cravendy Hound - A particularly honey-sweet scent cuts through the general musk of the rainforest. The good news is that the source is a pineapple! And the bad news is that said pineapple is growing out from the side of the cliff, out of reach.

Aislinn North like some sort of morbid vertigo, Aislinn can't help picturing it. "It'd be quick, at least. Smack. Done." she claps her hands for emphasis. She considers Cravendy's question. "Suppose if it's not going to be quiet like, in my bed, defending someone I cared about wouldn't be half bad. Quick would still be nice." she frowns a bit as she eyes the pineapple high above them. ...

Aislinn North "Seriously? They grow out of the cliffsides?" With a sigh she gauges the height and then eyes Cravendy, then herself. "Well...think if you lifted me, we could get that?

Cravendy Hound is just as morbid. "I agree. Quick and clean, if possible." She then peers up at the pineapple with a sigh. She was learning that when it came to death and pineapples, beggars can't be choosers.

Cravendy Hound: "Ye really think? Maybe ye got on me, and then I jumped and ye jumped at the same time for a bit of extra 'eight...ehh. That's a long shot too."

Aislinn North laughs low, shaking her head. "That's a bit too much coordination." she starts to look for a foothold in the cliffside. "Right. Well, then climbing is probably the best bet. See? All that scurrying up buildings is coming in handy." she finds a grip in the rock and begins to climb upwards.

Cravendy Hound is taken aback by how quick Lin is to hit the rocks and begin her ascent. She shakes her shock away and nods, equally determined to climb for the pineapple...and get to it, first. She doesn't say anything, doesn't make a bet. Just silently starts to climb without a word.

(Cravendy Hound) shall we have one final roll? xD )) (Aislinn North) ((Most definitely!)) (Aislinn North) Random! 490 (Cravendy Hound) Random! 943 (Aislinn North) ((NIce!)) (Cravendy Hound) my rolls are strangely??? on fire )) (Cravendy Hound) quit flexing cravs! )) (Aislinn North) ((But that just means we'll finally get that pineapple!))

Aislinn North Climbing rugged rockface wasn't quite the same as climbing brick and mortar. Aislinn's progress is steady but slow. She's perhaps a bit too cautious, the talk before of falling down the gully may or may not have had an effect on her.

Cravendy Hound puts in extra effort and, through some miracle, none of the rockholds crumble away as she -powers- her way to the top. She makes it a few seconds before Lin and, with a triumphant yell, grabs the pineapple with her hand and tears it from its stalk. "Ach! This shite's spiny as all 'ell!"

Aislinn North glances up and laughs as Cravendy takes hold of the pineapple and immediately curses it out. "One pineapple. Obtained!" she starts to work her way back down. "Just be careful on the way down, aye?"

Cravendy Hound now has to climb down while holding a pineapple. She hadn't thought this far. ".......Maybe when ye get down, ye can catch it?"

Aislinn North nods and then realizes Cravendy wouldn't have seen her gesture of agreement. "Aye." she calls up. A few moments later she drops to the jungle floor and lets go a sigh. Brushing her hands off on her pants, she turns her head up to Cravendy. "Alright, drop it down!" she yells, holding her hands out at the ready.

Cravendy Hound: "Or I can drop down. Probably safe from this 'eight, right?" Cravs looks down. It felt like a 50/50 chance of going terribly, the worst case scenario being a sprained ankle and the near fatal blow to her pride if/when people asked how she got it.

Cravendy Hound won't risk it. She hucks the pineapple down to Lin.

Aislinn North "No!" she calls out with urgency but it seems Cravendy also thought better of that plan. Aislinn hurries to get beneath the pineapple and catches the spiny fruit with a grunt. "Guh. You were serious about the spines." she shakes one hand out and then the other, glad for her gloves. "I really hope this tastes good."

Cravendy Hound climbs down, huffing and puffing. So much work for a pineapple. "Feels like the backside of a cactaur...but 'opefully it tastes as sweet as it smells."

Aislinn North nods and hands the pineapple back to Cravendy as she hits solid ground. It's only right, seeing as how the Seawolf managed to reach it first. "Right! Now, let's head out of here and get to eating this. Let's head to the Mists. We've earned a bit of relaxation, I think." she smiles a broad, unhooked smile up at Cravendy.

Cravendy Hound: "Ye think it could regrow like 'ow a carrot can grow from a carrot top? Since we put in all this effort, it feels like a waste to -just- eat it." Cravs says with a tired sigh. "But aye, let's 'ead back. Can ask Haila about that later."

Aislinn North nods in agreement as she turns back the way the came. She pauses. "No shaking the bridge." she says turning to point accusingly at Cravendy.

Cravendy Hound: "I won't." And then, once Lin's back is turned, she mutters something under her breath through a grin. "Maybe."

#ff14 rp logs #aislinn north #Cravendy Hound #Two pineapple parts mashed into one #literal hours spent writing about them searching #they found one in the end though!#Bucket List

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sirsharp-a · 4 years ago

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I honestly really want more threads set in Huron. Not only is it super easy to go there-- the tears in time and space work both ways, making it possible for a human to wander into Huron almost as easily as it is for a huro to wander onto Earth-- but I feel like it'd be equally as interesting for people to make 'verses'/make it possible to have things tied to the main verse without the need for 'dumbing down' ( for lack of better words ) my own canon all the time. I think so far only one or two muses have actually been to Huron, and they were more ask things than threads augh. I kinda wanna put out a starter call for it but a) I'm anxious about nobody being interested and b) I worry about making bad starters aughhh

#ooc. *#Maybe its open starter time augh #Its even easier if youre buddies with one of my fellas like #Murr and grave don't really come to earth.......... but they could easily interact on their own soil #And edgar knows the land inside out as is - could have an amazing time with him

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minijenn · 7 years ago

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Universe Falls Preview 3

One last preview, mostly consisting of stuff I wrote in rapid fire succession just now. Its original stuff, which is something this chapter sorely fuckin needed (i’m already goddamn 6,000 words into this shit someone kill me). Either way, enjoy some angsty Amethyst goodness followed by some fuckin humor cause sure!

“And if we don’t help Mr. Pines win, then Gideon’s dad will be the new mayor! And who knows what’ll happen then!” Steven finished his own explanation of the recent happenings, his tone quite worried as he looked desperately to the Gem he had detailed this all too. Unfortunately, she seemed to be far from worried herself as she reclined on the couch, trying her best to block the young Gem out entirely.

“And I should care about any of this… why?” Amethyst asked, her expression set in a cold scowl as she kept her eyes closed and her manner bitter.

“I just told you why!” Steven pressed. “Gideon’s dad? Becoming mayor? Doesn’t that worry you at least a little?”

“Not really,” the purple Gem shrugged. “Besides, even if I did care, why would I wanna help Stan with anything anyway?”

“B-because you guys are best friends!” Steven implored, trying his best to hide the fact that his reasoning for asking Amethyst for help was twofold. Not only did he want to get some much-needed assistance in helping Stan win the election, but he knew that the pair had been at ends for quite some time now. And perhaps a chance to work together like the infamously well-suited team they were once more would be just what they needed to repair the usually strong bond between them. The only problem was getting Amethyst to agree in the first place. “I just think you’d make a really great running mate for Mr. Pines. I mean, you’re one of the Crystal Gems, a protector of Gravity Falls! A lot of people around here really do respect you guys and the things that you do. If adding you onto his ballot doesn’t help boost his ratings, I don’t know what will!”

“Ugh…” Amethyst groaned loudly, rolling onto her stomach. “Steven, this is a dumb plan, and its not gonna work. Nobody’s gonna wanna vote for Stan because nobody can trust him. I know I don’t…” she said in a rather low mutter. “At least not anymore…”

“But… b-but…” Steven stammered, stammering as he realized his ship was sinking fast on this and he had to do anything he could to save it. “But Mr. Pines could really use your help!”

“Oh he does, huh?” the purple Gem deadpanned harshly. “I guess that’s why he asked me to help him with that stupid portal, right? Oh wait, he didn’t. He didn’t even bother to tell me about that, did he? Cause why would he actually be honest for a change, even with me?!” With this angry exclamation, Amethyst rammed her fist into the wall closest to her, the bang rattling throughout the entire house and leaving a dense, anxious silence in its place.

It took Steven a moment to fill this silence, but when he did, his tone was solemn and sincere as he offered the purple Gem a sympathetic frown. “Amethyst… if all this is really about what happened with the portal… then why don’t you just go tell Mr. Pines about how you’ve been feeling instead of just staying up here by yourself and being angry about it? For you know, talking about it might help you both finally feel better.”

“What’s there to talk about?” Amethyst sighed, turning away from the young Gem. “Stan conned everyone for years, including me. ‘He’s the one person I really feel like I can be myself around’, ha, sure,” the purple Gem sardonically echoed what she had declared to her teammates in the portal room. “Problem with that is that he was never actually himself around me or anyone else for that matter. So why would he try and start being honest about things now, just cause he wants to be some big important mayor or something.”

“But he just wants to-”

“Forget it, Steven,” Amethyst huffed, hopping up from the couch to head into the temple. “I’m not helping him. Not now, not ever. I’m not as dumb as you think. I don’t need someone like Stan leading me on and lying to me and pretending like nothing’s wrong when just about everything is wrong. Especially now…”

Steven hesitated upon hearing this, a part of him wanting to leave Amethyst alone with her feelings that she clearly still needed to work through. But another, more persistent part of him had a feeling that getting her on board with this election campaign would help everyone in more ways than one. “Amethyst, I didn’t want to have to do this, but you leave me with no choice…” the young Gem began, his tone serious for a moment before he suddenly leapt at the purple Gem, clinging onto her leg and keeping her from making any further progress towards the temple. “Please help us!” he wailed, forcing tears as he kept his hold on her leg, even despite her attempts to shake him.

“Ugh, Steven, cut it out!” Amethyst exclaimed hotly. “Let go of my leg, you little weirdo! I already told you I’m not doing it!”

“But we need you!” Steven begged morosely. “If you don’t want to do it for Mr. Pines, at least do it for it for me, Dipper, and Mabel!”

“No, I’m not gonna do it for anyone!” the purple Gem argued back crossly.

“Pleeaaaaase?” the young Gem pleaded relentlessly. “I’ll do anything! I’m on my knees, begging for your help, and you’re the only one I can go to for this!”

“Says who?” Amethyst grunted, struggling to continue on to the temple.

“Says me!”

“Augh, Steven!”

“Amethyst!”

“Steven!”

“Amethyst!”

“Steven!”

“Amethyst!”

The purple Gem snapped around to fire another aggravated retort at the young Gem, only to stop short upon seeing the absolutely tearful expression on his face, one that made her anger start to melt almost immediately. “Oh come on…” she groaned, rolling her eyes. “You know I can’t say no to that dumb face…”

“So… you’ll help?” Steven ventured, still keeping the waterworks on for good measure.

For a moment, Amethyst said nothing, her scowl lingering as she crossed her arms and looked away. Steven briefly thought he’d have to resort to continued begging once more, but fortunately, the purple Gem’s ongoing resistance finally folded as she let out a deeply annoyed sigh of acceptance, knowing that, as far as the young Gem was concerned, she really had no other choice. “Ugh… fine… I’ll be Stan’s ‘running mate’, whatever the heck that means. But don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

“I won’t!” Steven chimed, instantly back to a wide smile as he jumped up off the ground, no signs of his former desperate tears whatsoever. “At least not at first. Who knows? Maybe that’ll change after you and Mr. Pines get back into the swing of being a team again.”

“Yeah, no, I seriously doubt that, Steven,” Amethyst remarked begrudgingly following the young Gem out the door to head down to the shack, though not before letting out a small, wistful sigh to herself all the same. “I seriously doubt that…”

#jen writes #universe falls #uf preview #stanchurian candidate

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seksipomminpurkaja · 7 years ago

Note

ellen/angie + misfits?

aighty

Who is a fussy eater and who will eat food even if they’ve dropped it on the floor?

Neither are that picky, but Ellen will not eat food from the floor while that’s how Angie eats her meals

I’d wager Ninida is bit more picky, but also opportunistic, so if it’s a borger on the street in a wrapper i can see either eating it

Who constantly tries to get the other to shower with them?

Both respect each other’s privacy but once Angie has gotten used to hanging out at Ellen’s place she’ll maybe try to coax her a little, please (Ellen there’s easier ways to ask her to show you her titys)

Harlei, she will not give him a break. U wet sock he has his skin routine!

Who was popular in high school and who lies that they were just to impress the other?

I doubt either were. Angie may have been “admired” for being from a rich family? Ellen was kinda bullied for being parentless and living with a junkie so

Harlei was one of the boss bitches. Ninida was anxious but i also can imagine him acting all cool and “yeah i was hot shit in high school”

Who is incredible in bed and completely knocks the other off their feet the first time they have sex?

Ellen, though Angie with those guitarist fingers of hers...

Not quite knocking Ninida off his feet, more like “ok now he kinda knows what to do”. Plus Nini had nothing previous to compare Harlei to

Who plays video games and who snuggles up next to them as they play?

Angie plays and Ellen laughs roots for her

Nini plays, Harlei demands attention

Who is horny ALL OF THE TIME?

Neither really, maybe Ellen at first bc tf when years without gf

Harlei

Who is sleepy and cuddly ALL OF THE TIME?

Ellen probably out of two of them

Neener

Who knocks on the other’s door crying at 4am?

Angie, not maybe crying but really bummed out

Calling Nini after he hauled her ass off, drunk of course

Who would have 10 pets if they could and who is adorably shy around animals?

Neither are shy around animals? But Ellen would love a pet and will eventually get one

I doubt neither are big fans of pets as they are pretty busy people, nor are they scared of them

Who takes like 10 minutes of persuading to get out of bed each morning?

Angie was she gets a taste for being in soft and warm beds again

Nini, it’s warm there do not disturb

Who collects rocks and shells when they go to the beach and who thinks it’s dumb?

ANGIE, and Ellen loves it, she’s got a jar of little trinkets Angie has found for her

Both collect them, and then throw them at each other

Who picks fights for no reason just so they can have kinky sex?

Harlei might one time until she finds out that Nini will not jump to the bed unless it’s gonna be fun so, nope for them as well

Who secretly admires the hell out of the other and thinks they’re the bravest person they’ve ever met?

Both do, Ellen because Angie has managed on the streets and isn’t all that gloomy about it. Angie because Ellen grew up and lived with an addict for most of her life and still managed not to get addicted herself

Harlei a little at least, after Nini dumped her to male himself more happy and fulfill his goal of having a family, it was the right choice for him

Who has an adorable sneeze and who sneezes so aggressively they pull a muscle?

Ellen tries to minimize her sneezes at first but when Angie once sneezed and the whole room shook she saw no point in hiding, they will both sneeze loudly and hopefully not break ribs

Does Nini have a kitten sneeze? it would be hilarious if yes. But Harlei’s sneezes are nor tiny nor dad sneeze scale, just, sneezes

Who wants to have sex at work/school and who is terrified of getting caught?

what work, what school. Please don’t bang on bread daylight in the streets or at Ellen’s workshop please

they got that type of work that quickie will be little difficult

Who smells the hell out of the other’s shirts when they’re away but pretends that they don’t?

Angie might be a little guilty, but Ellen has some tastey body mists

Meh, i think neither

Who believes in astrology and who doesn’t care and just wants the other to make out with them?

both just want to make out

Harlei teases Ninida about astrology and just wants to make out

Who would survive the apocalypse and who wouldn’t stand a chance?

If they’d team up with a group of various skills, they might just make it, Ellen being the mechanic and Angie a wild card

They’d both survive, both have the brain for survival and what it takes

Who is majorly ticklish and who is the tickle-attacker?

Ellen’s a little ticklish, Angie might use this to her advantage

oh gosh we’ve probably already discussed this but i can’t remember

Who greatly exaggerates being sick every time they feel even a little poorly just so the other will take care of them?

Again, after Angie gets used to being at Ellen’s, please pamper her

Both do, they’re dramatic like that, and not even to make the other take car of them, just to annoy a little

#and the question stands: how did the misfits even survive as long as they did #well they both were having fun with smooches so there's one #'wanna come to the shower with me? i can wash your back'#'you wantto see me naked? again?'#':3'#ocs #is-that-what-i-think-it-is

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kaesaaurelia · 8 years ago

Note

oh hey how about Alphys and Sans' chat in your "When Life Hands You Enantiomers" fic for that fic meta ask?

OH MAN so this was my first Undertale fic ever! I originally started noodling around with writing Sans and Alphys genfic for Yuletide, the small fandom exchange that happens every Christmas – at the time of nominations, Undertale was still a small fandom! and I got into it during the writing period, so I hadn’t thought to ask for or offer it.

I’d wanted to write a treat, but I ended up looking at all the Undertale requests and none of them quite were what I wanted to write, which was mostly chemistry puns and friendship. So I wrote it, figured I might gift it to someone if it happened to suit their letter, and… it didn’t, really? I figured I’d just post it.

Anyway, that’s the fic background. Onward!

“You look like you need a break,” he said, decisively, going past her into the lab. He paused at her desk, evidently looking for somewhere to put the box of donuts and finding nothing but her vast mountains of clutter. "I like what you’ve done with the place,“ he said finally.

Basically this was my dad’s reaction to my first apartment every time I tried to show him how clever I’d been making furniture out of cardboard boxes. Eventually I got sick of responding with “oh fuck off” and made him drive me to Ikea to get a desk.

“It’s, uh. S-sorry, it’s kind of a mess. I’m just really busy with – with Royal Scientist stuff?” she finished hopefully. "You – you know how it is, I g-guess.“

"Yeah,” he said, tonelessly.

and this is the start of me not being able to decide whether or not Alphys remembers that Sans used to work with Gaster in some capacity in this fic! I think I eventually decided it comes and it goes. I like to keep things ambiguous on the topic of What The Fuck Is Even Up With Sans??? in my non-AU Undertale fics – I find the ambiguity interesting, I like that everyone has their own theories, and other people have covered that ground better and more thoroughly than I will.

“Anyway,” he said, a lot more brightly, “let’s relax and have some donuts.” He pulled a picnic blanket from literally nowhere and spread it out on the floor of the lab.

So one of the things I appreciate about writing from Alphys’ POV is that it feels completely tonally appropriate to have her say she facepalmed, or use the phrase “literally nowhere,” and other diction I guess I associate more with informal internet communication.

“Does, uh. Does Muffet know you made off with all her donuts?” Alphys asked.

“Eh,” said Sans, waving a hand dismissively.

Again, I really like leaving Sans’ bullshit ambiguous, and kind of shady.

“So. You still working on that horrible tile puzzle?”

“It’s. …yeah! It’s going really well. It's….” She sighed.

“You’re stuck, aren’t you?” Sans asked.

“Yeah,” she admitted.

“You know you don’t have to do it, right?” he said. "I mean… Papyrus knows you must be really busy, he’s not gonna be upset. Plus, I have to say, I’m not real excited about fishing him out of the middle of it if he gets stuck on a puzzle.“

I like how Sans assumes Alphys’ real concern is letting Papyrus down.

"Ha,” she said, joylessly. "F-funny you should mention the, uh, fishing.“

To her horror, he took this entirely the wrong way. "Aw, come on, Undyne’s not gonna hold it against you either,” he said.

“N-no, that’s, that’s n-n-not what I –” Words failed her and she just buried her face in her hands for a moment.

“Although, now that I mention it, Undyne did seem kinda worried about you,” he said. "You’re not answering your phone, or something? She said maybe you were mad at her.“

"Oh no,” said Alphys, diving for her phone. Those four texts. "Augh, I am the worst kind of trash, I’m a terrible friend, I c-can’t do anything right!“ she moaned.

Oh god. Please tell me I’m not the only person who leaves texts unread because what if I forget to respond to them when the notification is gone? and then don’t ever look at them out of crushing guilt and anxiety, until people start to worry. Please.

(Another note on diction: I actually really, really don’t like it when people call themselves “trash.” I grew up unironically – and really shittily – using the phrase “white trash” to describe certain cousins of mine, and it’s too loaded down with those classist connotations for me to read it as just harmless self-deprecation. This may just be because I am An Old, though. Anyway, Alphys uses it – and it’s definitely how she actually thinks of herself – so I kind of gritted my teeth and used it too.)

Sans was managing to make a perma-grin look dismayed.

I have to say, I was impressed with the unhappy-smiling Sans sprites in the game! I try not to ever describe Sans as frowning, but probably something’s slipped through at some point in the vrillion words of fic I’ve written.

She brought up the texts, ignoring him for the moment.

hey, was wondering if you wanna do a human history movie night with me and Pap tomorrow???

Then the next day:

super last minute, sorry. watched Cooking w/Killer Robot marathon. maybe next week? something w/giant swords??? YEAH!!!!!

And then:

Is everything ok? Miss you.

And finally:

Did I do something wrong?

"Oh no,” she moaned.

“That bad, huh,” he said, sympathetically.

“Oh nooo,” she repeated. "Oh no, oh no, now she probably thinks I’m terrible and –“

"Alphys. Wow. Relax,” said Sans. "I came over to check on you and make sure you hadn’t been, I don’t know, eaten by lab rats or something.“

Sometime I really need to write the companion piece to this, where Papyrus and Undyne come up with this terrible idea for a puzzle. And I have to work in a scene where Undyne is worried about Alphys and goes from dashing off carefully carefree-seeming texts to VERY CAREFULLY PUNCTUATED TEXTS BECAUSE WHAT IF ALPHYS THINKS SHE’S A BIG DUMB LUNK??? but it never occurs to her that Alphys might be anxious about replying to her.

"Eaten?!?” she asked. Did he… did he know? Augh, when had she last fed the amalgamates, anyway? Two days ago, maybe? Ugh, that was too long, they were going to be all grumpy when she went downstairs next. She tried to keep breathing and not panic.

He held up his hands to pacify her. "Hey. Hey. I don’t know why but everything I say’s making you panic.“ He nudged the box towards her. "Look, have a donut. Everything’s better with donuts. It’ll make you feel hole again.”

Hole puns are the hole reason I included donuts in this fic.

Alphys winced despite herself, then sighed. "Okay, yeah. Sorry. I’m. It’s – it’s been a hard few days.“

"Yeah?” he asked.

She nibbled at the donut half-heartedly. "So uh. You mentioned the tile puzzle thing? I’m having trouble with the piranhas.“

Sans snorted. "I’m sorry, just – there are piranhas? Why are there piranhas?”

“They were in the specs Undyne gave me!” Alphys said, trying not to get defensive.

“Sounds very fishy to me,” said Sans. "Anyway, why not just make robot piranhas? I mean, that’s your forte, isn’t it?“

man, Alphys hasn’t told Sans about anything in this fic, and he apparently doesn’t tell her about anything either. I like how they’re friends who lie their faces off to each other on the regular.

Oh god, robot piranhas would be about ten times worse. "It’s not making the actual piranhas, as such,” said Alphys. "It’s getting them to distinguish between lemon scent and orange scent. Because, see, the request was to make sure they go after anyone who smells like oranges but be repelled by anyone who smells like lemons.“

Sans stared for a moment, and then, to her dismay, started laughing. "What? What? You’re serious. Oh man, I bet Papyrus came up with that one. He’s – he’s pretty picky about his cleaning products, I guess that little difference is important to him.” His grin widened a little. "Papyrus is so great at those little details, you know?“

He’s laughing, but this praise of his brother is totally in earnest. Sans may be the one who pays the bills, but I’m pretty sure Papyrus is the only reason their house isn’t disgusting.

"Sans, this isn’t f-funny!” said Alphys. "Have you ever tried to train killer fish to distinguish between d-limonene and l-limonene when all they care about is smelling blood?!? Because I have!“

"Yeah, that sounds like one l of a problem,” said Sans. "A terrible knot you have to d-tangle. Orange you glad I stopped by?“

"Sans,” said Alphys, beginning to lose patience.

There are several naming conventions for enantiomers, and originally this was S-limonine and R-limonine, with corresponding puns (I forget what they were, I just remember it was a pain in the ass coming up with new puns) but I think I googled and the d- and l- notation was more popular for limonene.

Like I’ve said elsewhere, this whole fic was largely an excuse for chemistry puns.

“It sounds like you need this problem like a fish needs a by… cyclohexane! Lemon know if you think of anything I can do to help.”

“Sans,” she said. It was starting to become more of a whine.

“Citrus me, I got this. I don’t rind helping you at all,” he said, because he was a merciless bag of bones.

She glowered at him. Then she took the box of donuts away from him.

CAN YOU BLAME HER THOUGH.

“Hey! I was eating those!” he protested.

“Tough,” she said. When he leaned over to try and reach them, she harrumphed and stood up. Getting to his feet was apparently too much for Sans, because after one last halfhearted sitting lunge, he gave up and sat serenely on the picnic blanket.

Alphys carefully balanced the box of donuts on top of a stack of papers on her desk, then slid an empty mug underneath it for added support.

If you have never done this with a stack of papers, ….I envy your tidiness. And if you’ve never done that dumbass thing where you try to lunge for a thing just out of your reach and then try to spontaneously develop telekinesis to bring it over to you… you’re fucking lying.

With a few keystrokes, she brought her computer out of sleep mode and was drawing up her data on the piranhas. "I’m not really sure h-how you can help?“ she said. "I-I mean, if you can it’d be great, obviously, b-but… don’t you do, uh, physics?” Her memories were kind of fuzzy on this. Why did she know Sans again? When had she met him? It wasn’t that important, was it? Everyone knew Sans.

AND AGAIN, I can’t decide what Alphys knows about Sans in this fic.

“Yeah, but, everything’s physics in the end, right?” Sans said, a shrug in his voice.

She finished her donut before saying, wryly, “That’s what physicists tell themselves. I g-guess if it helps you sleep at night…”

For whatever reason I was fortunate not to hear this much from the physics majors in school. (The math majors, on the other hand….) But I’ve seen them do it a lot on the internet and so I have to admit I’m kind of fond of writing chemists and biologists being dismissive about it.

“I sleep all the time,” Sans said cheerfully. She wondered if he was ever going to get up and come over here eventually.

“Undyne has mentioned,” she said. "So, uh, w-what exactly do you think is so physics-y here?“

"Well. It’s not so much the physics, I guess,” he said. "It’s just that I’m really good at cheating.“

She reached absently for another donut, opening the box without looking at it and reaching inside. Her claws closed on something rubbery, and before she could stop, it was making a ridiculous farting noise.

She pulled the whoopee cushion out of the box, and turned to look at Sans. He hadn’t moved an inch from where she’d left him, and was snacking on a donut he definitely hadn’t had before.

She sighed. "Y-yeah, I can see that.”

I think at this point I’d seen a lot of Sans-being-badass art, and kind of wanted someone to react to him with an eyeroll. Not that I don’t think Sans isn’t badass! Just, you gotta have that one friend who will call you on your bullshit.

She turned back to her computer screen and skimmed the data she had on her attempts at training the piranhas. Ugh. No statistically significant difference between any of the training methods she’d attempted and the control groups.

Sometimes she wished science worked more like it was presented in fiction: less waiting around for something to happen, more moments of genius and day-saving. On the other hand, as it turned out, horrific abominations of science were a real thing. Who knew?

notice how I carefully avoid references to specific anime! because I’d pretty much only watched Ouran High School Host Club in full! I think I remember double-checking with @thinkatoryprocess that horrific abominations of science was a thing in anime?

I have since learned many things about Fullmetal Alchemist, and in particular why I wasn’t supposed to watch it just after my dog had died.

“So, h-how exactly were you thinking of cheating?” Her mind wandered to some of those weird diagrams she’d come across deep in the lab files, presumably belonging to the previous Royal Scientist. "Are you thinking, um, t-time travel? Because if I could find some way to breed selectively for citrus recognition they could evolve to–“

MY THIRD INSTANCE of “what the fuck does Alphys even know? why bother making it consistent?”

"No,” said Sans, and she leaped back with a squeak of shock, because suddenly he was standing right next to her and he was speaking in a freaky hollow voice, and also the light in his eyes had gone totally dark and, and, what the fuck, Sans?!? "…Heh, sorry,“ he said, and the little glowing dots returned, and the grin looked more natural. "Just. Trust me. Time travel, not a good idea.”

She knew she shouldn’t ask, but she kind of had to. "…Why?“

"Time flies,” said Sans. When she frowned at him, he added, “They’re even more annoying than fruit flies. And they get stuck in your teeth if you go faster than light. It’s a real problem.”

Okay, yeah, she wasn’t gonna get a straight answer out of a guy who wore bedroom slippers everywhere he teleported. Fair enough.

This last sentence is still one of my favorite summations of Sans as a character.

“Out of curiosity,” he said, “why didn’t you make robot piranhas?”

“Ugh,” she said. "You know, I thought about it? B-but then I’d have to invent the scent organs and I’m n-not sure I’m up to it.“ She wasn’t up to a lot of things, honestly. She wasn’t sure why Asgore hadn’t noticed. Or Undyne. She was really surprised Sans hadn’t noticed, though. He was weirdly observant.

So I did like no research on robots for this. IIRC machines that do something similar to smelling are a thing, but I have no idea how they work.

"Nah,” said Sans. "Just think lazy!“

A favorite motto of my boss, weirdly enough.

"But I don’t want to leave the piranhas out! Then Undyne and your b-brother will be d-disappointed and I won’t be the ‘g-great Dr. Alphys’ anymore, I’ll just be a f-fraud. They s-specifically requested piranhas!”

“So give ‘em piranhas,” said Sans. "But play to your strengths.“

"I d-don’t know that I have any strengths,” she pointed out.

“Sure you do. I mean, right now you’ve only been using biology. Maybe you wanna get down to the nuts and bolts of the matter. You made Mettaton, right?” he said. She tried not to wince. "And if you can make that guy a star, you’ve gotta be good. Plus, I can’t help but notice you’re, uh, pretty good with optics.“

She blushed. "The c-cameras? They’re for – uh, for scientific observation?” she said.

“Riiight,” said Sans. "I know what you’re up to. You just wanna steal all my best knock-knock jokes, don’t you?“

"There’s no s-sound!” she insisted, but Sans was chuckling. "…is that what you do at the door all day?“ she asked, frowning. "I just thought you were, uh. T-testing the structural integrity of the door. And… talking to someone?”

“Nah,” said Sans. "Who would I be talking to?“

"On the other side of the d-door?” she suggested.

both of these people, liars. I’m not sure Sans will be wholly surprised to find out Alphys didn’t make Mettaton, but the robot body’s still pretty damn impressive. And in the true pacifist ending Alphys didn’t seem real surprised there was someone behind that door.

He shrugged. "Anyway. Just some suggestions. But if you wanna give up… hey, I can’t blame ya. Papyrus will recover from his disappointment. Undyne probably knew it was a crazy idea in the first place.“ He reached around her to grab another donut. "Anyway, I gotta go on my lunch break before she finds out I’m slacking off here. Text her back, though, she seemed pretty worried. And try to do it before she and my bro burn the house down with her stress-spaghetti-ing?”

And obviously when all else fails, Sans’ go-to solutions are 1. taking a break, and 2. giving up. Not always in that order.

“Thanks,” said Alphys, half-heartedly. She turned to ask another question, but found she was sitting in an empty room. "…I think. …well, hey, at least I have donuts.“

Having donuts means she’s definitely better off than where she was at the beginning of the fic! Also I appreciate Sans having the ability to just vanish, because for whatever reason describing people walking to the door and saying “goodbye” is really boring to me and always trips me up.

#electricitytrick #so yes this one got long too #i probably should've just done the whole fic #but i don't know that i had much else to say?#idk hopefully this one wasn't disappointing #dvd commentary meme #undertale #alphys #sans #toby fox games

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augenblick · 6 years ago

Text

AUGH OK thank you for enabling me. here are some thoughts about Mello and Matt being dumb kids

- Mello seemingly takes everything very seriously and is solely devoted to being the very best.. which is true but also. he’s a teenager. sometimes he is Not So Serious. I think the side of Mello we’ve seen in canon is the side that has something to prove - he is trying to show the world (and himself) he can do it, and therefore makes himself into someone hard and cold. but considering the fact that he used to be a little Prankster back at wammys.. let my boy have a sense of humor. Mello is a mischievous shithead. very sharp tongued and witty, so sarcastic you have to think about the insults he whirls at you to be sure they’re actually mean. which they always are. and he also laughs a Lot. especially at Matt.

- Matt’s favorite ability is making Mello laugh. One of the only pieces of canon we have about Matt is his humor, so I FEED OFF that. like Mello, he’s very sarcastic, but especially dry. He makes jokes about EVERYTHING - it’s how he copes. I mean, if he’s cracking one liners right before he’s killed, so that much is obvious. I think Matt feels like he doesn’t have much going for him, considering he’s third in line, so he at least has the honor of being the funny one. Class clown and all that.

- So you COMBINE those and you have two fuckin Silly Boys. Mello and Matt crack eachother The Fuck Up. They have SO many inside jokes, the kind you can’t even get out without wheezing pathetically. And even in their apartment, after wammy’s, they play pranks on each other. Mello pretends to find them stupid and is always like “you need to take life more seriously Matt blablabla” but you know this bitch competitive as fuck. When it’s on it’s ON.

- Matt fills all Mello’s hair product bottles with glitter glue and as retribution Mello puts hot sauce in Matt’s underwear. Romance!

- Matt is clumsy as shit and falls over all the time (esp over his various cords) and Mello dies each time. Even when Matt is actually hurt. He breaks his nose falling down the steps outside their apartment building and Mello is trying to ask if he’s okay but can’t stop cackling. ‘DONT YOU CARE ABOUT MY WELLBEING’ Matt asks while blood streams down his face. Mello can’t breathe.

- LAUGHING DURING SEX SO HARD THEY HAVE TO STOP! One of them says something dumb and they just loose it. It’s so unsexy because Mello snort laughs, which makes them laugh more. Also Mello hits things when he laughs, so he’s just smacking Matt’s shoulder over and over until matt pulls away.

- Also weed. God Matt is Such A Stoner. Personally i headcanon him to be anxious and have trouble relaxing, so he smokes to calm down. Without it, he’s bouncing off walls. Meanwhile Mello doesn’t like any drugs or alcohol, because he likes to be Sharp. But sometimes he’ll indulge himself. Anyways, when the both of them get real high they just sit back and giggle for hours. They order a pizza and crack up when the delivery guy rings the doorbell. It’s not funny. R they okay.

Anyways I could go on forever but that’s what I have to say about Funney Jokes.

i sure do have a lot to say about deathed note

#i really love them #like #a lot #mm

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calacavera-blog · 6 years ago

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maldicion / perdicion

Something didn’t feel right.

It was a gut instinct that he had become familiar with, and one that he had grown to trust. Something akin to how dogs would howl or cats would mewl or birds would scatter and animals act erratically just before a sudden natural disaster; there was a pit in his stomach that formed like a knot that settled to tighten as a fist.

Of course, this all was a given when in the middle of a horde of undead trying to kill you, but even in this situation something didn’t settle right with him, using a rather long machete he found in gardening supplies as a weapon. Something felt off.

The stench from the rotted corpses bathed in seawater was horrible and the nausea overtook him for a moment as he pinched his nose and breathed through his mouth to recover.

There were stories he heard of those he had rescued and helped over to shelter--stories of meeting their deceased loved ones as these undead, decaying remnants of lost worlds. Sometimes not even deceased. Perhaps that was the source of his unease: the possibility of this happening to him.

No matter what, he thought to himself, he was already prepared to face whoever in his past might return. He had paid his dues in those letters. He had promised to take care of him if their paths crossed. He was prepared.

As he slashed through a row of three, he continued his way down the district. He heard a sound down one of the alleys. He turned a corner into it in an attempt to investigate. There, at the backend, he discovered the sound was the meowing of a stray cat in a dumpster.

He smiled at it, opened a can of tuna from his pack, and left it at a corner for it to eat. He was fine with leaving the cat alone; he trusted animals to be able to survive on their own than humans, after all.

He turned around to walk out the alley, but was stopped.

No.

There was a figure shambling through the corner of the alley, its head slamming into the wall as it was unable to correct itself through the turn in time.

No...

He was prepared. But not for this.

“No... No, no, no...” he whispered. There was no panic, shock, or fear in his voice. It was a tired sort of mumbling, when despair had reached a point beyond an event horizon that all emotion was dulled for the moment.

Short, wavy blonde hair. A clover hairpin. Green eyes. A certain scar on the right wrist. Average stature. Slender frame. He began to picture a coy smile. All of it replaced by a rotted bastardization.

“No, no... Not you. Please, not you. Please...” He started to laugh, and that made his blood run cold.

“Why you. Out of... Why...” His voice was louder, addressing the staggering corpse approaching him closer.

“No... Tina...” he finally whispered out her nickname.

She was reading a book. A very thin book, with pictures. A comic book.

He sat next to her, engrossed in a heftier book--one without pictures at all.

While he silently moved his lips, mouthing the words he read on page, she was quietly tapping a rhythm on the back cover of her comic book.

A steady rhythm at first, but it was slowly increasing in tempo and volume, to the point where he thought there was a woodpecker around.

“AUGH! THAT’S ENOUGH!” she finally cried out in exasperation, startling him enough to close the book. He frowned, realizing he lost the page he was on.

“Tina...?” he asked, but was cut off before he could ask more.

“THIS IS SO BORING! THAT’S ENOUGH WAITING AROUND READING BORING NERD BOOKS!”

“But you’re reading a comic b--”

“YOU ARE READING THE BORING NERD BOOKS!”

“But this is a book you gave m--”

“IT”S STILL A BORING NERD BOOK!”

“But you’ve already read this through four t--”

“AND I GOT BORED OF THIS BORING NERD BOOK! THAT’S WHY I GAVE IT TO YOU! UGH, KEEP UP MERCY!” she let out a sigh, running her hands back and forth through her short hair.

“Oh, I’m sorry...” said the boy, scratching the back of his own head.

“AND QUIT APOLOGIZING! DIDN’T I TELL YOU YOU’RE TOO MUCH OF A DOORMAT?”

“Sorr--I mean, okay...” he said, having opened his book to a random page, bringing it up to hide his face in.

The girl paused, setting her comic book aside. She clicked her tongue.

“Ahhh, no I’m sorry. It’s just so boring sitting in one spot so long. I did enough of that reading too many nerd books,” she spoke in lower volume and calmer tone.

“It’s okay. Then...do we do something?” the boy asked, unsure of what would help her boredom.

“We can try jump rope again!” she shouted in excitement.

“It still hurts where I fell down last time...” the boy whispered. He didn’t like pain at all.

“Let’s go rollerblading!”

“I fell down then, too.”

“Play catch?”

“I sprained my wrist.”

“Mercy, you’re pretty weak.”

“...Oh.” He appeared hurt by that.

“Th-That’s why I’m doing these things with you to make you stronger! So you can protect me and stuff, like a real hero!” She tried to recover the foot in her mouth, standing up from beneath the shade of the oak tree, smiling at him with radiance. She reached one hand to playfully ruffle his hair. “Come on! Let’s go arm wrestle! Uh, left hand!”

The boy closed the book and carefully set it aside, his smile more timid. “O-Okay!”

Around their group of friends, he was considered the baby. It was something he loathed, and it was the source of a number of insecurities he would carry through life, but he really couldn’t object to the role.

He was introduced to them by Tatyana, after all. Well, more adopted. Even after he was slowly beginning to open up to everyone, he still stuck beside her and spent most of his time around her.

It was funny, their friends babied him more than she did, but he still only really felt closest to her. Perhaps because she knew, deep down and unconscious, that being babied was something he didn’t want--that he wanted to be treated like a normal friend and not the cute kid everyone wanted to pinch cheeks.

Still, even as he became more outgoing and his smiles grew wider, his timid nature slowly left him, they tended to leave him as the one to be attended to, like some very spoiled prince. It’d been years, and relatively little had changed.

Maybe being called Mercy made him come off cuter than he wanted.

During a trip to the beach, he was taught how to swim by the oldest of their group. He was given food bought for him by the motherly of their group. He napped beneath a palm tree after dozing off from reading a book, and he woke up with a bleach blanket wrapped around him.

“You just have that demeanor,” said one of them.

“You can’t be left alone.”

He felt bad.

“Well... It’s more like, you have this thing about you where people want to take care of you.”

He sighed, then laughed.

“Volleyball?” shouted Tatyana.

On the bus ride home, Tatyana had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He stared at her for a few seconds, tilting his head. He playfully ruffled her hair. Then he yawned. He ended up taking a nap, too, his head resting on the crown of hers.

Sometimes...he was okay with being babied. At least, he was thankful to her to have met such kind friends.

“You’ve been...” Tatyana forced a smile, pausing her words.

She couldn’t let out what had been eating her up for the past six months. Her smile wavered for a bit--she dug her nails into her crossed arms.

“Mercy, are you...” She laughed, anxious.

Mercutio froze up, but his wide and bright smile returned. It was about two months from his seventeenth birthday, but in their quiet meeting he had told her he didn’t feel like celebrating this year.

“Did something happen...?” she finally asked.

“...No? What do you mean?” he answered, his smile still the same.

“...that,” she whispered.

“...Sorry?” he asked, not having heard her clearly.

“I hate that... Stop that.”

“Stop what?” He still smiled, this time nervous.

“I can’t stand that! STOP SMILING WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO!” she shouted, her anger overcoming her concern. “WHAT DO I MEAN? YOU WERE GONE FOR A WHOLE MONTH. THEN YOU COME BACK WITH A SCAR ON YOUR FACE AND YOU TELL ME NOT TO WORRY AND SAY THIS STUPID EXCUSE THAT YOU WENT CAMPING OUT OF NOWHERE? I TRIED PLAYING DUMB, BUT I CAN’T. WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU?”

For once, he stopped smiling.

In a bout of silence, all he did was look away from the worry in her angered face. The wind that swept through old playground they used to love caused the swings to creak into motion. Branches were swaying.

“...That’s none of your business,” he finally said.

Her face dropped.

“...You don’t mean that,” she stated in a blank tone. “You don’t mean that at all.”

“But I do,” he replied, turning to look directly at her.

“No. What happened to you? You’ve been so distant since you came back. You’re always smiling. I was happy you started smiling again, but they felt so fake. That’s not my Mercy.”

“Your Mercy?”

“Mine.”

He clicked his tongue.

“Nothing. Just felt a change. Maybe I’m stronger now.”

“No, you’re not. You’re just...pushing everything away. You’re not stronger. You’re colder. You feel so lonely.”

“Is that so bad? I’m getting out of your hair. Look, I’m doing fine. You think just because I’m not clingy that I’m not okay? Just how weak do you think I am?”

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“Then what the fuck do you mean?”

“...I mean that you’re not right. I don’t know what it is, but you’re hiding something I should know. Why won’t you tell me?” She was scratching her shoulder.

“And why should you know?”

“Because I’m worried and you owe it to me as your friend?”

“I don’t owe you anything you don’t have to know. Besides, it’s to protect you.”

“PROTECT ME?” she shouted once more. She paused. “Protect me? You’re not protecting me. You’re hurting me and you.”

He stayed quiet, before whispering out a “Sorry.”

“Sorry? That’s it? Half-assed? Tell me! Tell me. You at least owe me a reason.”

“I owe you shit,” he murmured. Then she slapped his face.

Then he realized that he had caught her wrist in his hand by reflex, and that he was unknowingly bending her wrist at an odd angle.

Then he saw tears swell in her eyes--the pain on her shivering figure more emotional than physical. Then his heart sank.

“What happened to my Mercy?” she whispered through despair.

He let go of her wrist. She pulled it away in fear. She looked at him as if he were a monster. That was the first time he’d ever hurt her. That was the first time they’d ever hurt each other.

“I’m sorry. I’m not your Mercy anymore,” was all he could muster before running away, leaving her alone to fall back on a creaky swing.

He couldn’t hear her cry “Please come back” under her breath.

From then on, they would not speak more than a few words to each other. A rift formed, separating them, even as Mercutio couldn’t numb himself to the remorse.

It wouldn’t be about two years later that he would confess all his burdens with tears in his eyes.

As he carried her body in his arms.

“What’s wrong?” a voice asked out to the boy with his head bowed, near the wall behind the playground of an elementary school.

The boy visibly flinched, then slowly raised his head. He had brown hair combed to a part, neat and tidy. It was very clear that someone else had combed his hair for him. It was also very clear from his brown eyes he’d been crying.

“Why you all alone here?” the voice asked, a girl with blonde hair and green eyes. She looked genuinely confused.

The boy didn’t speak for a good minute, but the girl just kept peering at him in wonder.

“...No one comes here,” he finally answered, his voice low.

“But you’re here!” she exclaimed, sitting down next to him. The boy scooted a few inches away.

“No one else comes here,” he elaborated.

“So you want ta be alone?”

“...Yes...” he said, with a bit of coaxing.

“How come?” she asked. The boy realized she was going to keep this until he gave a straight answer.

“Everyone hates me. They call me a monster and laugh and put glue in my shoes.” Oh, that was too straightforward, he thought.

“What! Why?” she asked. There was a moment of silence as the boy played with a shoelace.

“Oh! You’re that kid!” she suddenly spoke up, startling the boy. She smiled. “That boy! The cut arm one!”

A strange way to phrase it, but she was right. He’d cut his arm while on the swing during recess, an accident caused by a bent chain link. He was crying loudly, and a number of kids gathered around trying to help and call the teacher. But by the time the teacher got there, the cut had already healed, the blood he’d already wiped clean out of panicking. The teacher asked him not to lie, and the kids who’d saw his arm heal started calling him a monster.

“...Yeah...” he said. She clapped, startling him for the third time.

“That’s so cool! Can you really?!” She was excited. “Can you show me!”

“...” The boy looked confused and concerned, then scratched his palm deep enough to draw blood. He winced in pain, but in a matter of seconds the scratch healed. He looked back up at the girl to see her eyes wide.

He bowed his head, waiting to be called a monster again.

“What are you doing?!” she shouted, grabbing his hand and checking his palm.

“Sh-Showing you...?” He was startled once more, but this time he was scooting further away from her touch.

“I asked can you, not may you! All the teachers keep correcting us about it, how come you ain’t know the difference?!’ she shouted, only making him more confused.

“Sorry...” Regardless, he apologized.

“Don’t be! It’s ‘cause I ain’t spoke right,” she said, finally letting go of his hand after confirming it was okay. Then, her anger was turned into a wide smile. “But that’s so cool! You can fix up your body super quick! Like a...! Like uh, um...”

“Monster...” he finished.

“SUPERHERO!” she corrected.

“...Wha--”

“A SUPERHERO! You’re like a superhero! In the comics and stuff! That’s so cool! Are you a superhero?”

“No...?”

“You gotta be one! Great power! I forgot the rest, but great power!”

“...Okay...?”

“Then it’s decided! We’re gonna make you a superhero! Stop bad guys! Then you can protect people! Oh, protect me! Wait, no, sidekick? I’ll be sidekick!” Throughout her rambling, her excitement only grew. Even the boy was starting to feel the same energy.

“Y-Yeah!” he finally spoke in a voice louder than a whisper.

“You get a costume!”

“Yeah!”

“You kick butts!”

“Yea--No!” All his excitement was sapped at the thought of hurting others.

“...No good?” she asked.

“No good...” he confirmed.

“Oh...” She clicked her tongue. “But you can still protect people! Super cool!”

“Cool?”

“Yeah, really cool! Come on, we gotta work to think of a name and stuff! Let’s do this!” She was standing up, hopping on one leg then another. “Wait! What’s your name?”

“Mercutio,” he responded.

“Mercucho?”

“Mercutio...”

“Marecushow?”

“Mer--”

“Argh! It’s hard to say! I’ll just--OH! I’ll call you Mercy!”

“Mercy...?”

“Yeah, and it could be like your superhero name! Friendly Neighborhood Mercy! No, that’s copying. Uh... Your Mercy! You like it?”

“I guess...” He didn’t want to admit that being called Mercy was a bit embarrassing.

“Great! I’m Tatyana! Tatyana Fauvel!”

“T-Tati--”

“No, we’re not doing that again. Call me Tina!”

“Tina...?”

“Yeah!”

“Tina...!” he said, beaming.

“Yeah! Let’s go be--no your hair won’t do,” she said, reaching one hand and ruffling Mercy’s hair, messing up his combed hair. “Superheroes can’t have lame hair! It’s gotta be cool like you fight and stuff!”

He could admit that he flinched, but he could also admit that it felt nice. Since then, they would play every recess, and she would always ruffle his hair. Pretty soon, the original intent to make him a superhero was lost and they became best friends. At that point, ruffling his hair was more out of affection.

All these memories ran through his mind. Memories he’d tried to keep away, locked in the farthest corners of his mind. Memories that flooded his head, threatening to drown him. Memories that paralyzed him and locked him in place.

Her voice. Her voice kept echoing in his head. His ears were ringing, and her friendly and caring voice kept repeating.

His cherished, dearest, childhood friend. The friend he didn’t write a letter to. The friend he tried to forget. The friend who died because of him. The friend he carried in his arms.

He kept shaking his head, sweat beading on his brow. Tears falling from his eyes in torrents. Even without a clear sign of emotion on his face.

Was this punishment for having tried to abandon her memory? No, there was no divine reason. It was just pure chance. Another joke.

He was stuck in a state of perpetual grief, anger, denial, guilt, and sadness. He became unaware of everything but her memory. He didn’t even notice that her shambling corpse had reached him, nor did he realize that she was chewing his arm.

It was just her. Her voice. Her voice.

Her voice. Encouraging him.

“You can do it, wimp!”

Her voice. Her voice. Her voice. Her voice.

“Keep it together, man.” “Second place for player two. Haha.”

Her voice. Her voice. Laughing at her own bad jokes. Her voice her voice.

Her.

“Are you okay?”

“You should eat more. You’re skinny.” “Smile!” “Model ships?” “Have you ever tried poker?” “Royal flush! Oh, that’s a straight.” “I learned how to sew!” “Don’t wake me up until... Five more minutes...” “Are you hungry?” “Since I’m all grown now, I can eat two burgers easy.” “Listen to this.” “Pull my finger!” “That was a mistake, my stomach...” “Are you okay?” “That’s three times I win in a row!” “I’m bored.” “Have you met my dad?” “Miklo said he could take us fishing. Do you wanna go?” “It’s like. Everything’s too hard. Math sucks.” “Stay put, your hair...” Her. “Where’s the watermelon?” “You pepper the ravioli.” “My Mercy.” “Let’s split it. I’ll give you half.” “You fucking nerd.” Voice.

“My Mercy.”

“...Isn’t that enough?”

His eyes were devoid of light.

What a wonderful dream we shared.

He only reached his hands around her rotted corpse still biting through his arm, pulled her in close into a hug.

Your dreams won’t last forever.

Then he screamed.

Despaired. Loud. Guttural. Demonic.

He was holding tightly to her corpse, hearing it crunch the more pressure he placed.

He kept blaming himself for neglecting her.

He kept blaming himself for what happened to her.

He kept blaming himself because he couldn’t ask for forgiveness anymore.

There were more shamblers approaching, having been alerted to his location by his scream. All he did was stare blankly at the approaching horde. His machete had been dropped, but he was okay.

He was okay.

He was prepared.

He fought okay with his hands, personally tearing the limbs off every single one. Methodical. Emotionless. Not a man, neither a beast.

Even as he was swarmed, he was methodical. Locked away in his mind.

Blood. Body parts. Heads. All scattered on the floor.

I’m sorry, Tina.

All except one.

I won’t carry you to be buried. Not a second time. I won’t leave you.

He was cradling a severed head in his arms; crying and trying to smile. He hugged it close to his chest. He vowed to kill whoever had brought her back, desecrating her rest.

I won’t forget. Not again.

He would sit there, crying with her head.

The same mistake.

#{and you shall know; the truth}#isola event: depths pt 2 #self harm tw #blood tw #gore tw #bullying tw #death tw

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insanetwocubes · 7 years ago

Text

I need to rant about a few things because I don't have any other outlet.

But if I start ranting I might become angry.

I'm just frustrated. I haven't been able to do anything on my to do list for days including my daily goal.

The manager at work. Ooooh the manager at work.

Okay. Lyke. She keeps doing this THING where she says things like "you know you're not doing this right" and I'm lyke ???? Bitch HOW THE FUCK do you know what I do and do not know? I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that we were the same person. What, can we mindspeak, too?? Are you fucking psychic? Of course you're not because if you were! You would know!! THAT I'M NEVER CHOOSING TO NOT DO MY BEST AT THIS JOB!

WHERE THE HELL DOES SHE GET OFF basically accusing me of being lazy and not doing my best?! And it's always "do this faster" "do that faster" "but also do it correctly." I'm sorry! I'm slow at doing things! I like to take my time. I don't like being rushed! Hey, that's why I hated school! It was always rush rush rush and no time for yourself.

And I don't! Have any time for myself! I work so hard I keep falling straight asleep as soon as I get back! And it's so annoying because I haven't done any of the things I need to do and oh apparently, I need to go buy new work shoes because these aren't good enough I guess. But it's okay because "it's only 20 dollars." I can't afford health insurance. I don't have a 6 month emergency fund. I can't even afford a data plan. Or have enough money to put into savings. "Only" 20 dollars is not ONLY 20 dollars. And I need those shoes yesterday I guess. Just let me slip and hit my head and die already, why do they fucking care.

Aand! So food topic. I'm getting skinnier. Apparently. As multiple people have mentioned. I looked in the mirror though and I have no fucking how they notice any change but whatever. Which would be fine if I was exercising but I'm not! I'm still so anxious about spending money, even on food. I guess I'm not eating enough, meaning less than once a day. That's why I was looking up healthy diet stuff. Lmao I feel like a rabbit because I'm filling my diet with so much fruit and vegetables. So that stressed me out because, I don't know if I mentioned this in so many words but, it's against system rules to weight watch and count calories. A long time ago I realized that I have a really bad habit of punishing myself/my body when I'm upset. And I know it's very common for people who suffer from eating disorders to beat themselves up through starvation and other means. And with me already having a dibilitating complex about what people think of me, I know messing with weight and food will just make everything worse. So I don't mess with it. But I do still forget to eat apparently. Which is great. Sarcasm. I hate it. It's so annoying. I can't tell when I'm hungry and I don't often get a feeling of being full. And lyke the last goal involved lots of programming, which is one of the things that make me forget to eat in general. Programming and video games.

And okay so the other manager. Idk where he got this bullshit from, I'm just being a decent person. But apparently he thinks I'm kind. I think I mentioned this. And he's lyke. So he wants me to put my hair in a bun. And it's really annoying because now I have to add 10 minutes of messing with my hair before I'm ready for work. And he keeps saying that it looks proffessional, and whatever, but Four and I both agree that buns are too much hassle and not worth the look. So whatever. But it makes me feel like I'm changing my looks for him.

Oh don't get me started on his manipulative ass. He keeps using these psychological tricks and it was fine when it was no harm no foul. But then he guilt tripped me when I asked for a break. And y'know this other manager keeps fucking confusing me. I thought I had to take a break (because she keeps lyke over stepping her bounds and being all in my business.) under labor laws or something. But apparently I don't??? But she made it seem like I do. And now I got used to these long breaks and it's impeding my work because I'm not finishing my closing duties. And hey btw. I hate closing. According her, the manager, apparently I'm not mopping right and not mopping fast enough even though I'm doing it the way she told me to in the first place!!! Lyke I genuinely don't know what she wants but "you know you're not doing it right" I!!!!!!! DON'T!!!!! I genuinely don't get how she wants me to do it! But "oh it doesn't take that long." What!!! Ever!!!! I fucking hate that phrase because yess!! Apparently! It does take that long.

And lyke I mentioned I'm having trouble finishing all the cleaning duties but okay. Listen. It doesn't matter how early I start (if I even could) because I can't clean the bathrooms, mop, or take out the trash before closing if I'm the only one in the front (because I need to do the other part of my job, serving the customers). And the utensils don't get washed until about 10 mins before we need to leave and it takes 20 minutes to fold a LIGHT load of utensils, not to mention an average one. I'm convinced that it's mathematically impossible for me to finish everything in an hour. And she just keeps piling more shit for me to do!

Okay and now the customers. Usually they're not bad, but there is one customer that pissed me off yesterday. He was lyke "I get the same thing every time" lyke dude! I'm sorry I can't fucking remember your order when I've only seen you lyke once before. Lyke he acted so entitled. I remember plenty of regulars' orders. So the fact that I don't automatically know his means I haven't seen him enough to remember it!!! Augh!

Aand! There was this other customer. He's trying to be nice and all but he completely overstepped his bounds, I think. Told me I should get into vocational work like programming. Bitch! I'm already trying!!! It's not exactly going well. Thanks for the useless, invasive advice that I didn't ask for.

Y'know Four is usually the one to get annoyed over people lumping her in with humans, but lyke so many people have projected themselves on me and they don't know anything! They just don't know me! They think we're the same but we're not! I'm not some extension of you, stop thinking you know me before I openned up to you at all!

Gah! It just like Wrong and Loveless. They think they know what's best for me when they don't and they just refuse to give me an out out of their assumptions. Advisors, too. All adults. Why is everyone projecting themselves on me! I make a point to claim I'm not even be human!!! Okay I never actually tell people that, but they are lumping me as a normal at least. Augh, whatever. I'm too.....not like them for this.

And I hate how the shift manager acts, she's too controling. Lyke every little thing I do that she's not expecting is "not the right way" to do things. Well, she liked one thing I did, change up how I mention the survey. But see! Just like Loveless, if I don't completely impress them, then I'm doing it all wrong. The way she lyke is and does things made me think she didn't want me to work because I forgot my nametag one time. And then when I tried to explain why I thought she didn't want me to work she cut me off and said she never told me to not work. And I get that miscommunications happen but lyke I never even got to explain my logic! Aughhh!!!!

And that stupid quiz! I hate that dumb. Fucking quiz! Just fucking! Stop reminding me of school! I hate school! I'm never going back to school! Stop making this feel like school!

I used to have fun at that job, man.

Maybe now that the rant is over I can find the good parts again and have a good day. If you listened, thanks.

~Flare

#Things1said #txt #dicerolls #like if you read reblog if you want

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epajournal · 8 years ago

Text

March 9th, 2017

10:36 p.m. Sitting here on the couch after waking up at a horrifically late time today. So far, my stomach’s been better, at least. I went to bed fairly late last night... I’m not even entirely sure why, honestly. But I did. I stayed up with Tom and Edo too late on PChat, but at least I drew. And got drawing done before then, too. I think going to the coffee shop recharged me a little bit, so I may go again tomorrow. Tomorrow’s my first day of having therapy on Friday, which is interesting. And we’ve decided as a family to skip Dunsmuir and the houseboat this year to go to Hawaii for a week and a half, which I’m honestly very into the idea of. I’m so ready to have a vacation that’s not near here, that isn’t with family I don’t like much and feel I have to put on a facade with, to go swimming in water that’s aaaalways super warm and enjoyable... Though now it comes down to: Money. I don’t know how I fucked up so much. I had $50,000. So, okay. The first $15,000 came and went in the form of dumb-ass spending, the LA trip, catching up on bills, and a lot of vet stuff, if I recall correctly. But the remainder... So I paid off all my debt aside from the Care Credit stuff which I still haven’t contacted the vet’s office about. That was a pretty serious chunk, I think close to $8,000-$10,000. Then I paid off the remainder of my car, $3,500-$4,000.The rest is a little bit of a mystery to me, in that I can’t see how I managed to piss away so much money without thinking. I mean, it’s been a few thousand dollars so far in rent, yes. I think there were a couple of hundred on doctors’ bills... I bought some new clothes (necessary!), I bought my mom a few things-- and OH... The bed, I split Mom’s gift of a Sleep Number bed for Christmas with Ian, which was a good chunk. But the rest has been on rampant Amazon purchases, wasteful grocery trips, and convenience foods and food delivery. I think it’s time for me to open a spending spreadsheet. Today, I did buy too much... My dumbest thing was getting a commission of Casey (which wasn’t much), and then going on Amazon... Of course I really did need a new pack of contact lens cases (Oh, that was another purchase! A year of lenses!) and a new laundry hamper since Mom’s taken mine to use.... But then I got things for organizing the shower for my stuff, some new hairbrushes, a caddy for my things when I bring them upstairs fully... But. Augh. I would like to go to AnimeExpo this year, I’d like to go to Fanime. I’d like to go to Hawaii. The latter is the most crucial. The middle is very important to me. But I’m scared to even check my balance right now.... My mom owes me close to $500+ right now, my brother probably owes me fifty... I have a check from tax refunds worth nearly $300... But the issue is that I also have to pay registration in May that’s $200, $600 worth of doctor’s visits, and $250 on my car’s way-past-due fluid change. But the positive is that overall, my monthly cost of living is very low. It’s $450 for rent, which is about as cheap as I could ask for in the area. Food is dependent on how well I budget myself. I barely drive, so gas is honestly negligible, and I get decent enough mileage. I don’t pay for my phone or car insurance, and my health insurance is about $15/month. I do have, overall, roughly $70 of monthly services like Spotify, Netflix, YouTube Red (which people scoff at me having, but let me tell you: it’s worth it)... So, actually, I guess much less than that... Additionally, I plan on joining Planet Fitness this weekend, but they’re cheap. Like $10/month cheap, aside from a $40 annual fee in May. So, I’ve gotta’ get income going. I’m dreading going back to doing commissions, but not nearly as much as I dread the idea of a regular job, ugh. At a regular job, I wouldn’t need to make much, so I wouldn’t have to work much. But I cannot stand the stress of it right now. There’s so much I need to do as it is, and while I know that there would be a lot of structure I could use in having the regularity and social reinforcement of working... The dread associated with clock-watching anxiety and learning a new gig is very upsetting to think about. But, first and foremost, I’ve got to sit down and face the fucking music when it comes to my financial status. I have enough time that I can fix anything that it’s at right now -- I mean, making $500 a month would be great, that’d last me a while, I think, but making $1,000/month would probably cover me entirely the whole month. I’d probably be banking a couple of hundred as long as I was being conservative..... So, I think it’s about time I figure out what I’m doing. The more that I think about it, a job sounds preferable. But it has to fit in with my therapy schedule now, too. But, doing adoptions and YCH commissions wouldn’t be bad, either. I can charge a lot for those and the stress of finding a pose or whatnot would be minimized. If I could make a species people liked enough, I’d basically be able to just make multiples of the same character with enough modifications that they’re their own person at that point. So. I’m getting anxious thinking about this. I like how my response to all of this is embarrassment, and that I can’t help being like, “Ah, it’ll be fine, money’ll show up, I just have to wait it out.” But until my dad passes on, that’s not gonna’ happen. Not like when my mom dies that I’ll be getting anything but debt and obligation, “lol”. And I really don’t want to wait on someone to die to get money, right. I really don’t want to be scraping as I wait. I’ve thought about applying for disability-- I know when push comes to shove that I can work, but the intensity of anxiety attached to it is so severe... But I’d rather not use that unless I really need it. Food stamps, though. That’s not a bad plan. That’d cover a huge amount of my expenses. So, we’ll see. My medication isn’t going great. I mean, I’m not constantly thinking I’m going to die, but my sexual dysfunction and motivation are saaaaapped. Plus, the increase in tinnitus, the weight gain (if that’s attributed to anything other than the lack of motivation which includes me eating poorly), the headaches, the intestinal stuff... I feel like 20 mg was way more effective than 40 mg. But then again, maybe I’ve also gone past the placebo effect or the initial bubble. But I need to keep riding it out. I mean, I have to get another psychiatrist set up as soon as possible to work on this, yes, but I need to also do what I can now to get shit rolling. Augh.

#March 9th 2017 #March #2017 #3.9.17 #3/9/17

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