#audio from Archer

[repugnantbeast]

grill cheese...

[catwallace]

heard the audio from that one archer clip and immediately thought of Them

[w1yre]

it’s finally done oh my god YES!!!!

i present to you all: a cookie run animatic featuring my team

(pitaya dragon, fettuccine, stardust, wind archer, and nutmeg tiger)

(audio from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia)

also go watch on my channel with 6 subs

[mintaikk]

POV: Millenial Tree Cookie forced Wind Archer Cookie to work at McDonald's but now he has to deal with this guy coming by everyday 😔

(Inspired by this one tiktok with this audio but with Miguel and Miles from ATSV)

[benzedrine-calmstheitch]

Good Omens season 2 referencing Powell & Pressburger films

Crowley's angel hair is modeled after Kim Hunter's hair as June in A Matter of Life and Death (1946).

Maggie's shop is called The Small Back Room in reference to 1949's The Small Back Room.

The red ballet shoes on the door of Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death are a nod to The Red Shoes (1948). (Note : the klaxons sounding in Heaven at the end of episode 1 are said to be a nod to the alarm bells in The Other World in A Matter of Life and Death. Personally, I don't think they sound at all alike; they are only similar in both being alarms. Plus, it's an audio reference, which I don't have the skill or patience to include here. But it's there!)

In The Small Back Room, Maggie has a poster for the film Stairway to Heaven displayed. A Matter of Life and Death was released under this title in the US.

The tartan hills welcoming Aziraphale to Scotland are a reference to the tartan hills welcoming Joan to Scotland in I Know Where I'm Going! (1945). And of course, the third episode is itself titled "I Know Where I'm Going."

Jim drops the book My Best Games of Chess, 1924-1937, by Alexander Alekhine, onto a table in the bookshop repeatedly as he is discovering how gravity works. This book is featured prominently in A Matter of Life and Death.

When Aziraphale enters The Resurrectionist pub in Edinburgh, I Know Where I'm Going! is playing on both televisions (I'm pretty sure I found the right scene to match this screenshot). You can also make out the name 'Pressburger' on one of the posters in this screenshot, but we'll get to that later. . .

The family name on the mausoleum where Aziraphale and Crowley hide out with Elspeth and Wee Morag is Archers. It's never clearly seen in the show, but it can be seen in this BTS photo of the model used for Crowley's embiggening. The Archers was the name of Powell and Pressburger's production company. The interior of the tomb and the urns outside the full-size set also reference the Archers, and Powell & Pressburger individually.

In Mr. Arnold's record shop, one of the posters on the wall is for a UK music tour; either the band or the tour is titled Met By Moonlight. This is referencing Ill Met By Moonlight (1957), the final film Powell & Pressburger made together. (I personally think this one is a reach, as the title of the film is a line from A Midsummer Night's Dream and thus not really clockable to the outside viewer as a direct Archers reference, but apparently the intent was there so we're counting it!)

The Pressburger posters are more clearly visible during the Gabriel and Beelzebub rendezvous scene in The Resurrectionists pub. We can see they advertise 'Pressburger Scottish Lager,' which is of course a nod to Emeric Pressburger himself. (Unclear if Michael Powell has his own label that we just don't get a clear view of. . .)

-- -- -- -- --

I clocked a couple of these myself, but they are all referenced in the X-Ray trivia on the Prime Video player. Would love to know if anyone has clocked anymore that aren't divulged. . .

[the-gilded-lotus]

Something about the way Odysseus says:

"You think I don't know my own palace? I built it."

Just scratches my brain so good. The barely restrained rage in his tone as he tries to keep his cool (later broken when he explodes about the suitors plotting to kill Telemachus and rape Penelope) is so well conveyed. The cast of Epic does such a phenomenal job of conveying micro emotions, progressive emotions, and subtext through the audio. The power of a ramp from anger, to rage, to fury is just... *chef's kiss*

Also, I know everybody says 'there are no small roles in theatre, only small actors', and Epic is SUCH a good example of that. Half the cast only has a single song or a few lines, but they leave such a POWERFUL impression in their wake. The winions/lotus eaters, the other gods (Hera, Hepheastus, Apollo, Aphrodite, Ares), the suitors, the crew, Odysseus's mother, and if I'm missing some, it's only becaude the list of people who deserve recognition is as long as the cast list itself.

Special shoutout to Mr. "We're in the darkness, up against an archer" because my boi, I can taste the fear and the anxiety in your tone and I live for it.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I have a lot of feelings around Epic rn, specifically the small stuff. I genuinely might write an essay for the first time since college to disect every inch of this musical to actually articulate my feelings on it.

[fyeahaudiodrama]

Happy @podcastgirlsweek to all who celebrate! While I haven't had the time to properly work on fics (and probably won't this week because oops, hurt my hands yesterday) I still wanted to take the time to highlight some favorite podcast girlies along with everyone else!

The prompt for Monday is highlighting podcasts with women in the leading roles, so here's a few of mine (and hopefully, some new ones of yours if you don't know them yet):

Back Again, Back Again: Ilyaas, you absolutely fantastic disaster of a fantasy ace, never stop trying.

Breathing Space: While the show is anthology with a rotating cast, some of my favorites from across its run include:

Evie Yuriskin

Amity Archer

Any characters who were introduced one episode and then started referring to each other as "my wife" by the end or by their next appearance

Camlann: Some apocalypse survivors interpret dangerous dreams about dark magic to cope. Some knit sweaters. Both are valid and should kiss.

City of Ghosts: Featuring the grungy, disgruntled, tormented-by-visions LADY detective of your dreams.

Desperado: Take note - give your ladies knives. And god powers. And witchcraft. And a sniper rifle, for good measure.

Do You Copy?: I think [REDACTED] deserves three weeks of paid vacation

Fawx & Stallion: Madge Stallion is THE moment. She's six feet tall. She can't stop making innuendos. She's not your fucking Mrs. Hudson (although, she is - no, I shan't say).

Hi Nay: Mari & Laura are my everything - the loving and self-sacrificing hero and the newfound friend who chooses to stand by her side (fire axe and all).

Inn Between: Oh, my Inn Between girlies, where do I start? Fina and Betty, the OGs and life partners that even death couldn't stall? Rosie and Zara, the new best pals who chose to stay together? Phoebe, just one step at a time learning what she deserves and what she doesn't? All impeccable, A+.

It Makes A Sound: Any show focused on music is going to be a slam dunk for me, but Deirdre's quest to reclaim her memories as well as those that tied her to her mother is so damn real and compelling.

The Kingmaker Histories: No female character in this show has ever done anything wrong. Colette gets a migraine pass. Ariadne can turn people inside out. Daphne is owed this for working in a theme park.

Life With LEO(h): Janiiiiiine, so messy and smart and dedicated and she cares so much, I love yoooooou.

Me and AU: Kate's worries and desires and doubts are some of the realest out of any audio drama so when do I find an Ella too

Palimpsest: My faaaaavorite gothic horror anthology, each one fresh with a different brand of haunted, tormented, secret-keeping (and quite frequently gay) gothic protagonist

The Pasithea Powder: Jane and Sophie. Sophie and Jane. What more could you need? <3

The Silt Verses: Women who start cults/leave cults/seek an end to the endless cycle of meaningless sacrifice as so valid. For all your wet cat(fish) woman needs.

Second Star to the Left: Because I always love a good Ishani performance. Hi Gwen, please tell Boots I love them.

Small Victories: You want sad wet cat women? How about one that literally can't stop self-sabotaging (but at least manages to draw the line at sabotaging others...occasionally). She even gets stabbed!

Starfall: I mean, kind of a given, but anyway, Leona definitely exists because she's the kind of action protagonist woman I always wanted - one that could be unapologetically powerful, but still full of flaws and desires (especially ones that weren't about falling in love and minimizing her own strengths). She's even autistic!

Stories From Ylelmore: Keryth! Keryth, Keryth, Keryth! She reminds me so much of the kinds of characters I would make up when I was younger - I love her and her small magic so dearly.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: Hi queer space pirates <3

Unseen: Another anthology show, but Harry Winters and Never-Ending Circles remains one of the most perfect premiere episodes I've ever heard in audio drama.

The Way We Haunt Now: Get your podcast ladies here, dead or alive!

We Fix Space Junk: My favorite type of repairman is a woman who could kick my ass.

Wolf 359: I don't think I need say much more here - y'all know and love 'em just as much as I do.

[buttfrovski]

absolutely hysterical right now imagining PC creek with that one audio from archer that's like "i'm hungry. grilled cheese. grill me a cheese."

[red-dead-sakharine]

Elvish in the Hobbit movies

There is no official script available online for the 2nd and 3rd Hobbit movies. Most elvish dialogue from the Hobbit movies has been transcribed here, but they struggled to understand one of Thranduil's commands. So...

I disabled some audio channels to get a clearer voice clip, and tried to decipher this mystery.

From elendilion.pl: Thranduil to the Elf army: T: „Berio i ???!"

Someone suggested it's „Berio i nand a garas! (Protect the valley and city!)” but Thranduil definitely uses a word with M (you can read his lips), so it can't be "nand". Also, the orcs are only commanded to turn towards the city after this charge.

I believe it's "Berio i man dagra!" (Protect those who are fighting!)

berio: imp. form of beria- (“protect”) i: the man: who, what dagra-: do battle, make war

Following his command, the elven archers aim past a group of dwarves & elves already fighting orcs, and cull another wave of orcs that's charging into the already engaged group. They are protecting the ones doing battle from the next charge of enemies.

[truetalesteam]

Week 2 of our Season 3 Crowdfund!

Hello Everyone!

Here at True Tales of the Illuminati, we are humbled and excited to announce that with three weeks left in the campaign, we are almost halfway to our crowdfunding goal. That means that we’ve been able to release the second of our four crowdfunding minisodes, and we’re rounding the corner towards the third! You can listen to them, and to our first two seasons, on our podcast feed now.

That’s right, our marketing strategy for asking you help us make a third season is to make a mini-season and hold it hostage! Find another podcast that does that! (Okay Wooden Overcoats, sure. Fine, we ripped them off, so sue us, they’re our heroes. No you shut up)

If you haven't heard of us yet, we're an audio comedy about conspiracies gone disastrously wrong, fruitlessly spinning the wheels of history like a car in park when you floor the gas. Inspired by (and aspiring to be) BBC audio comedy like Cabin Pressure and Hitchhiker's Guide, with rapid-fire jokes in the vein of Archer, Community and 30 Rock, we're proud to have been Audioverse award finalists for our first two seasons.

Here are a few of the things we’re excited about in our third season:

New characters ripped from the real Enlightenment-era Illuminati! Watch Beck get drawn to this group of navel gazing nerds like a pannier-wearing moth to a flame! See Jackie fall under the influence of a mysterious new mentor figure! Listen to Ishmael swill coffee and make bon mots!

New Dal! Dared to find a hobby "besides murder," watch her harass and bully shop proprietors into giving her a personality a second dimension!

Five whole episodes with an explosive two-part finale that calls upon all of Ishmael's bravery, courage and brain cells!

Here’s where the funding is going to go:

Recording studio time rental! In the past we’ve recorded with our full cast all together at The Bridge Sound and Stage recording studio in Somerville, MA. Not only does that make our audio sound great, having our cast all together, able to bounce off of each other live as we record means we get our amazing cast chemistry bubbling away to make each joke land even harder.

Paying those amazing actors! Every one of our cast members is paid for their time and talent, and as we have a big cast and tend to pack character after character into a scene, that’s quite a large line item! Why do we keep writing scenes with 5 characters in them!

Sound design! We’re once again working with the phenomenal Beth Crane and Hedley Knight, who you may know from their show We Fix Space Junk. Beth and Hedley have an incredible ear for sound, and some of the finest comedy brains out there, and they use those gifts to make sure that when a character jumps through a pane of glass, that that is the funniest pane of glass that there is to jump through.

Administrative fees! Podcast and website hosting aren't free! Look, some of these are just going to be true, not fun.

Places where the funding does not go:

Our pockets - We make this show because we love making it, and because we want to make the funniest thing we can. Every penny we raise goes right into making this show better and making more of it. The only ROI we see is getting to put something we think is really good out into the world. Does this make us fools? Economically, yes! But spiritually? You decide! (Please say no we need a win so bad)

Local political contributions in New South Wales - (we’re only 80% on where it is)

Actual occult organizations - (We don't know how to join the illuminati, no matter how desperate or strange the marketing emails we get are)(we WOULD say this though, so keep trying!) PLEASE STOP ASKING US ABOUT THEM

Non-Fiction History Books About The Weirdest Shit We Can Find - We use the library, bitches. We didn't spend a cent on The Witch of Lime Street!

Intrigued? Generous? Cool? Please help us bring our next season to life over at truetalesteam.com/crowdfund

[itcameuponamidnightqueer]

okay so it only took me a month after the end date to finish the summer bingo card from @queerliblib! yes, i could have kept going to fill out the rest of the squares, but that would have taken me til the end of the year at least. i really appreciate this challenge for the way it required me to look for books beyond what i gravitate toward naturally (short stories: not usually my thing!)

full list of marked off squares under the cut:

genre fiction: hearts still beating, brooke archer (zombies) coming of age: last night at the telegraph club, malinda lo comfort read: everyone i kissed since you got famous, mae marvel comic, manga, or graphic novel: becoming who we are: real stories about growing up trans, various artists/authors (collected by sammy lisel) memoir: how far the light reaches, sabrina imbler

poetry: space struck, paige lewis queer pulp fiction: i am a woman, ann bannon short story anthology: love after the end: an anthology of two-spirit and indigiqueer speculative fiction (collected by joshua whitehead)

format swap: the story of silence, alex myers (read as an ebook instead of audio) indigenous author: love after the end

main character doesn't share your identity: red, white, & royal blue: casey mcquiston lambda award winner or nominee: lavender house, lev a.c. rosen set in the past: even though i knew the end, c.l. polk

book with a protagonist older than 40: something to talk about, meryl wilsner set in the future: the long way to a small, angry planet, becky chambers

[theholmwoodfoundation]

THE HOLMWOOD FOUNDATION PILOT EPISODE CAST/CREW - PART TWO

BECKY WRIGHT - THRALLS/PHONE VOICE

Becky voices weird things. Her speciality is small children and demons, make of that what you will... She works across every medium. She played Nic Grundy in ‘The Archers’ for 11 years and continues to appear in regularly in radio dramas on the BBC. Recent credits include: ‘You Must Listen’, ‘Car Crash’, ‘Children of The Stones’, ‘The Battersea Poltergeist’ (Bafflegab/BBC), ‘Lola vs Powerman’, ‘Making Plans with Nigel’, ‘Mythos’ (Sweet Talk/BBC), ‘Barred’ (B7 Media/BBC), ‘Billie Homeless Dies at the End’ (Holy Mountain/BBC) & ‘The Waringham Chronicles’ (Audible Originals). For Big Finish she has appeared in many episodes of ‘Dr Who’, ‘Doom’s Day’, ‘Blake’s 7’, ‘Avalon’, ‘Unit: Nemesis’, ‘The Avengers’, ‘Star Cops’ and ‘Pathfinder’.ops and development sessions for countless new writing initiatives. She has narrated numerous audiobooks and amassed a vast and varied array of weird and wonderful dubbing, animation and computer game credits. On stage she has performed for The Being Human Festival, Nutkhut, The Birmingham Rep, Wolverhampton Arena Theatre, The Bike Shed in Exeter, Hampstead Theatre, The Pleasance and The Tricycle, amongst others. She has toured open air Shakespeare and performed a rep season in a lift shaft! She is very passionate about new work and has been involved in rehearsed readings, workshops and development sessions for countless new writing initiatives.

JESSICA CARROLL - NEWSREADER

Jessica trained at LAMDA. Most recently she played Disciple Z’rell in the multi-award-winning video game Baldur’s Gate 3. Other video games include Divinity: Original Sin 2, Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire, Elex, Spellforce 3, Dragon Quest XI, Unforeseen Incidents and Code 7. Jessica also voices Darcy the Driller, Riff and Jiff in the UK version of the Thomas & Friends cartoon.  Theatre includes Fence (Finborough); Fishskin Trousers (The Park Theatre, Finborough); The Broken Token (Theatre Royal Bury St Edmunds, Lakeside, William Andrews Clark - Los Angeles); Quirks (Southwark Playhouse); Old Bag (Theatre 503); Ghosts (Battersea Arts Centre); Hellcab (Old Red Lion); Last Seen (Almeida); The Woman of No Importance (Assembly Rooms Ludlow); Taking Steps (Assembly Rooms Ludlow); Daisy Pulls It Off (Lyric Hammersmith). Film and TV includes Hotel Inferno, Polar, The Space In-Between, David & Olivia. Radio includes Life Begins at Crawley and The Future of Radio (Radio 4); The British Are Coming and Liberation Is Not A Recognised Protocol (Apple). Jessica has an extensive voiceover career in commercials, dubbing and the TV and film ADR circuit where she can be heard screaming, crying, doing the news and squawking down police radios in everything from Happy Valley to Bridget Jones.

LUKE KONDOR - ROBERT SWALES

Luke Kondor is a writer, creator, and the voice behind The Other Stories podcast, which has amassed over 12 million downloads. He was recently commissioned by the George A. Romero Foundation to write a Night of the Living Dead audio drama. Currently, he lives and works from a dining room table in the middle of Sherwood Forest. For more, visit www.lukekondor.com.

PART ONE: HERE

PART THREE: HERE

[lumenflowered]

[An audio file is attached. In it, Silver can be heard speaking.

"He really wasn't that good at pretending to be you. He wasn't even a little nervous around the ocean," she complains. "Thought Dee figured it out too! Not my fault that she didn't."

"I'm sorry," Dee says.

"Why the fuck are you apologi—"

"At least we know, for certain," Maria interrupts, "that there is something here. Petrel is incapacitated for the moment, as are the exterior grunts, though I confess I'm a little surprised that our Pokéballs remain usable."

"Giovanni never trusts anyone but himself," Silver mutters darkly. "Not with the stuff he actually cares about. He'd maybe set something up with Archer, but that's because Archer's more loyal to him than anyone else and he knows it."

"Hm," Maria says. "Fair enough."

"You don't seem," Dee says quietly, "very concerned about the alternative."

"I had a backup plan."

There are several gasps from the group, as well as a "What the fuck, you brought your sword?" from Silver.

"As I said," Maria continues, "a backup plan. I do not enjoy being caught unarmed."

"Clearly," Mallory says. "Speaking of Archer—"

"I heard him mentioned," Silver says, "when Petrel told me to stand guard out here and I went to check out the other cave because fuck that guy, I do what I want. Haven't seen him, though."

"...He very likely is here," Dee murmurs. "Somewhere."

"So we figure out what's going on with Archer first," Mallory says. "Once we have... then what. What's the plan."

"Maria?" asks Dee.

"My apologies." Maria sounds a little faint. "I was checking in with Solaire. They, ah... are not particularly fond of caves."

Mallory snorts. "Probably less fond of Rocket-infested ones."

"You are not incorrect." She takes a deep breath. "They will remain nearby, but out of sight, until we have confirmed that it is safe for them to join. They have, however, raised an important point that they asked me to relay to the rest of you."

"...What?" Silver asks.

"To paraphrase... there has to be something beyond Giovanni's presence alone, with that remote, that forces Pokémon to return to their balls," Maria says. "To do so at such an extent that it forces them into a ball halfway across the region, but teleports much closer balls to directly where the Pokémon previously had been, such as Ade's and... Lugia's, I suppose..."

"It cannot be limitless," Dee says. "Nothing is."

"There's probably some dumb machine powering it, somewhere," Silver says. "I saw Eileen yelling at... uh, someone, about that."

"Got to find the machine to shut it down," Mallory says. "If it's anywhere in these caverns, it'd have to stand the hell out."

"Yes," Maria says. "That, it would. I wonder how much Petrel would be willing to tell me, should I scare him enough?"

"You do have a sword. And you know how to use it. Really well."

The recording ends.]

[deadpresidents]

Are there any studies on how this country might've changed if Ford had not pardoned Nixon? Is it likely that the DOJ would've indicated Nixon and is it likely that Nixon would've been impeached and convicted?

Nixon 100% would have been impeached and convicted and removed from office. The House Judiciary Committee had already voted to impeach Nixon about a week-and-a-half before he resigned, so the next step would have been impeachment by the full House of Representatives. That would have triggered the trial in the Senate.

The reason Nixon resigned was because Senate Republican leaders like Barry Goldwater and Hugh Scott went to the White House and told him that he was finished and that even they would be voting to convict him once he was impeached.

Whether or not Nixon would have been indicted if Ford had not pardoned him is hard to know, but at the end of the chapter about President Ford's pardon of Nixon in Richard Norton Smith's recent book, An Ordinary Man: The Surprising Life and Historic Presidency of Gerald R. Ford (BOOK | KINDLE | AUDIO), Smith reveals:

Among Ford's privately stated reasons for pardoning Nixon was his desire to relieve Special Prosecutor Leon Jaworski of responsibility for deciding the former President's legal fate. The irony of this position was revealed only after he left office. In June 1982, ABC News marked ten years since the Watergate break-in by assembling seven of the twenty-three grand jurors originally summoned to investigate the Nixon White House. As they told it, prosecutors answering to Jaworski had drawn up a four-count indictment charging Nixon with "bribery, conspiracy, obstruction of justice, and obstruction of a criminal investigation." All it required for implementation was a formal jury vote and two signatures -- those of the jury foreman and the special prosecutor. The grand jurors were unanimously prepared to endorse such a course. Jaworski was not. Arguing that no precedent existed for indicting a sitting President, he had persuaded the grand jury to instead forward its evidence to the House Judiciary Committee for possible impeachment proceedings. With Nixon's August 1974 resignation, the issue of Presidential guilt resurfaced. Jaworski's deputy Philip Lacovara argued for an indictment of the now-former President, a view widely held among the prosecutorial staff and seconded by members of the grand jury. Jaworski thought he had suffered enough. In reality, Jaworski had never intended to put Nixon on trial if he could possibly avoid it. Ford's pardon saved him from publicly disclosing this reluctance, something he confided before his death in October 1982 to [former Defense Secretary] Mel Laird and Houston Congressman William Archer, both instrumental in his original appointment.

[brokehorrorfan]

Face/Off will be released on 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray on December 12 via Kino Lorber. The 1997 sci-fi action thriller features reversible artwork.

John Woo (Mission: Impossible II, Broken Arrow) directs from a script by Mike Werb (The Mask) and Michael Colleary (Darkman III: Die Darkman Die). John Travolta and Nicolas Cage star with Joan Allen, Gina Gershon, Alessandro Nivola, and Colm Feore.

Face/Off has been newly restored in 4K from the original camera negative with Dolby Vision/HDR. Special features are listed below.

Disc 1 - 4K UHD:

Audio commentary by action film historians Mike Leeder and Arne Venema (new)

Audio commentary by director John Woo and writers Mike Werb and Michael Colleary

Audio commentary by writers Mike Werb and Michael Colleary

Disc 2 - Blu-ray:

Audio commentary by action film historians Mike Leeder and Arne Venema (new)

Audio commentary by director John Woo and writers Mike Werb and Michael Colleary

Audio commentary by writers Mike Werb and Michael Colleary

The Light and the Dark - 5-part making-of documentary

7 deleted scenes with optional audio commentary by John Woo, Mike Werb and Michael Colleary

John Woo: A Life in Pictures featurette

Theatrical trailer

Obsessed with bringing terrorist Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage) to justice, FBI agent Sean Archer (John Travolta) tracks down Troy, who has boarded a plane in Los Angeles. After the plane crashes and Troy is severely injured, possibly dead, Archer undergoes surgery to remove his face and replace it with Troy's. As Archer tries to use his disguise to elicit information about a bomb from Troy's brother, Troy awakes from a coma and forces the doctor who performed the surgery to give him Archer's face.

Pre-order Face/Off.

[stra-tek]

Lower Decks' cheesy museum exhibit Voyager was pretty much as I imagined the Starfleet Museum years ago when I wrote my forever-in-progress I Survived Kirk

There are multiple Fleet museums, one in San Francisco, one around Pluto, another at Memory Alpha, one at Copernicus, one at Andor etc.  We walked the San Francisco one.  I got to visit Enterprise NX-01, which had been equipped with little plaques everywhere giving backstory to everything from the mess to the warp reactor to what the Captain liked to watch in his quarters.  The plaques all had buttons which played various Captain’s Log excerpts.  The staff wore period-appropriate Starfleet uniforms (navy blue boiler suits with Enterprise patches on the shoulders), which I questioned the legality of since they’re not Starfleet officers.  I was told it was okay because they were period costumes, not actual uniforms.

I’d buddied up with Morgan Bateson.  I really liked his sense of humour.  And neither of us knew our fathers, although Morgan was pretty convinced he’d meet his in space one day, perhaps as head of some evil empire or other.  Oddly specific and statistically impossible, but weirder shit would happen in my time in Starfleet.

We visited the engine nacelle the crew hid in during an ion storm, the mess hall where they ate sandwiches and watched a movie every Friday night. The Captain’s Quarters where Admiral Archer probably masturbated a thousand times, a section of corridor where the chief engineer died in what they called a heroic act of self sacrifice but read more like a suicide, the sickbay where the captain’s dog was treated when it contracted an alien disease (and upon the underside of one of the cabinets, someone had crudely engraved “BR+DS 4EVA” which I doubt was part of the recreation), and the decon chamber.

Oh god, the deacon chamber.  Before transporters had biofilters (which screen out potentially harmful stuff and prevent us from bringing back deadly diseases), the crew had to strip down in a room and rub antibacterial lotion (which smelled like a mint julep, there was a sample for us all to sniff) all over themselves and/or each other’s bodies.  Sounds nice and wholesome and definitely didn’t fuel my sexual fantasies for the rest of my academy tenure and adult life.

Engineering had the second most little plaques with buttons after the bridge.  Most of them were about the warp five engine and how revolutionary and amazing it supposedly was.  Of mild interest was a video clip of an old Zefram Cochrane made shortly before his disappearance, where he said what became the Captain’s Oath.

The bridge was spammed with plaques and buttons, which played countless audio clips of the crew doing crew-y stuff.  The communications officer speaking Klingon slowly and awkwardly, the helmsman had exactly one soundbyte: “aye, sir” (seriously, couldn’t they get anything better for that guy?) and the Captain saying heroic-sounding things which sounded weird out of context.  The captain’s chair was actually missing, being repaired after a member of the public broke it.  Instead there was just the mounting pole sticking up in the middle of the room, which we all made obscene comments about sitting on.

The Captain had a tiny ready room just off the bridge, which had a century-old game of water polo playing on loop on a TV, a desk, a stack of music minidisks and not much else besides lots more buttons and soundbytes. There was a single cargo transporter nestled halfway along a corridor.  The crew used it to beam themselves to and from alien ships and worlds believing it to be safe, but it really wasn’t and many of them suffered sterility and health issues in later life.

It was a fun little excursion.  I didn’t learn much more than I’d already absorbed as a kid growing up, but actually being on the iconic vessel-turned-tourist-trap made it all seem real.