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omgrachwrites · 4 years ago

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The Princess and The Duke - Chapter Ten

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: As the Princess of Spain, you were always supposed to marry King James of England to make an alliance between Spain and England. When he marries a woman at his court for love, you are married off to his best friend, Sirius Black the Duke of Bedford to keep the alliance. However, the court is riddled with secrets and a rebel in the North starts to rise against the Throne. Royal AU.

Warnings: angst, character death, mentions of blood, mentions of violence, fluff

Words: 2816

A/N: How are we on chapter ten already?! I’m so sorry for this chapter, but why is angst so fun to write? Hope you guys enjoy this part and please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! xxx

Chapter Ten - To Die in Battle

The harsh winter wind was raging fiercely as Sirius stood on the frozen front lawn of the castle, if he didn’t die in the fighting then he would surely freeze to death. But, the wind was nothing compared to the emotions swirling in his heart. He was leaving his beautiful wife and his unborn child; he was surely walking to his certain death. Sirius didn’t know – no one did – what the numbers were like in Cumbria. But, with Scotland on this Lord Voldemort’s side, Sirius and James would be outnumbered, even with the Frenchmen that King Francis had sent.

Y/N looked beautifully sorrowful and melancholy as she looked up at him, tears filling her eyes. She reminded him of a painting he had once seen of Guinevere, when she had heard the news of Arthur’s death. Sirius hoped that he wouldn’t go the same way.

Sirius tried to smile but he feared that it came out as more of a grimace as he cupped Y/N’s rosy and frozen cheeks, “I’ll come back to you, my love. I promise, I love you so much.”

“You better had come back to me Sirius, I love you too,” Y/N sniffled and pulled him into a long passionate kiss, he poured all the love he had for her into the kiss and he knew that she was doing the same.

The kiss lasted for so long that James had to speak up, “Sirius, I’m sorry but we have to go,” reluctantly, Sirius pulled away from Y/N and pressed a kiss to her forehead, her eyes were pleading with him not to go, but he had no choice. As he rode away, he stole one last look at his Princess, hoping that he’d be able to see her again.

The journey up North went by without so much as a hitch and it surprised Sirius but he was glad that they hadn’t run into any trouble. There was enough trouble in Cumbria, they didn’t need more. The army made camp about a mile outside of Cumbria close enough to the fighting but fat enough away that they could feel safe.

Nerves swarmed in Sirius’ stomach as he heard the pounding drums of the battle, this wasn’t his first time fighting but now there was so much at stake; the state of the country and the life of Y/N and their child. What would happen to them if he died? He was going to fight tooth and nail to make sure that he survived, he had to.

“You look positively green, Peter. Are you alright?” Sirius tried to laugh but it came out hollow and humourless.

Peter swallowed, “I’m scared.”

Sirius nodded and placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, Sirius would have called him a coward if he didn’t care so much about him, “so am I, Peter. But, we’re going to win, I know we are,” Sirius’ voice sounded more confident than he truly felt.

Peter nodded and gave Sirius a tight smile but for the rest of the day, he looked increasingly better.

The first few days of the fighting started off slowly but that didn’t mean it was any less brutal, Sirius hated killing men, even in battle, he felt like a monster. Dark red blood tainted the pure blanket of white snow, like spilled wine. The screams of dying men and the stench would forever haunt Sirius’ dreams as he fought in the beautiful countryside of Cumbria. He prayed to God every night, thanking Him for keeping him safe. Sirius had never before been a religious man but now seemed a good time to start believing.

What Sirius thought was odd was the fact that they hadn’t seen the fabled Lord Voldemort yet and they hadn’t seen the Scots. Thankfully, Sirius didn’t see Regulus among the men who were trying to kill him. He hoped that his kind little brother was somewhere safe, somewhere far away from the fighting.

Days rolled by and the fighting continued and the warring men painted the countryside red with each other’s blood. James had received an arrow in the shoulder and Remus had been on the receiving end of a dagger in the side, though they would both pull through. Sirius and Peter remained unscathed apart from a few cuts.

Sirius worried more about the effect that this battle would have on his mind and his dreams. James’ army dwindled in size, too many good men died, too many men that Sirius had known when he was a child.

A couple more days went by and Sirius’ young squire, Johnathan succumbed to a fatal wound by the frozen river. He asked Sirius to hold him, he didn’t want to be alone as he died, “it’s a beautiful place to die, apart from the battle of course,” Johnathan tried to laugh but he only choked on the blood that spilled from his mouth as he looked at the frozen river and the mountains beyond.

Hot tears fell down Sirius’ cheeks as he held his friend, Johnathan was so young. Sirius hadn’t wanted him to fight but Johnathan had begged him, he had wanted to be a Knight, “Johnathan, you crazy bastard,” Sirius sniffled as he tried to hold the life inside Johnathan by putting pressure on the wound but he knew it was no use. Johnathan was going to die, “you would have made an amazing Knight.”

“Damn right,” Johnathan gave a little pained smile as his voice grew weaker and began to fade, “when you get back home to your lovely wife, please tell the Lady Sophia that I love her. I’ve thought of her every moment and I’m thinking of her now as I lay dying. My only regret is that I didn’t see her beautiful face once more.”

Sirius nodded, “of course, I will.”

“Thank you, my friend,” he gasped out in pain as his breathing slowed and the life left his body. Sirius sniffed as a great wave of sadness crashed against him and he closed Johnathan’s eyes so now it only looked like he was merely sleeping. Sirius made a mental note to bury him when the fighting was over.

Rage filled Sirius’ chest as he saw red and he swore that he would find the man who had killed his friend. Sirius cut down many men and anguished cries filled his ears but he didn’t flinch as he once did. For the first time since the fighting began, the sun peeked over the mountains and filled the battlefield with watery winter sunlight. The mere sight of it filled Sirius with hope, hope that he would get back to his wide and he’d be able to see his child grow up.

That night when Sirius entered the war tent, he found that James was smiling brightly, he looked like a young God as the light bounced off his golden crown, “the Scots aren’t here, I think we’ve been lured into a trap but we can win Sirius.”

Sirius’ eyes widened and it felt like all his dreams had come true, “it was Malfoy who told us of the Scottish presence. Where is he?” Sirius wondered whether Malfoy had been a traitor among them and had tried to lure them off to their deaths. Whatever the truth was, it was definitely suspicious.

James shrugged, “I honestly couldn’t care less.”

When the rest of the army realised that the Scots – or Lord Voldemort – weren’t going to show up, it filled them with new hope and they began to fight tooth and nail. They fought so fiercely that in hundreds of years, songs and stories would be told of this day. Till the end of history would this day be sung of. It would be the stuff of legends and Sirius doubted that the mighty King Arthur had fought so well.

“They’re retreating like the cowards they are!” James yelled gleefully after hours of brutal fighting.

Sure enough, ahead of them men were retreating, led by a man in a mask and Sirius wondered if it was Lord Voldemort. Though, he couldn’t find it in his heart to care, he was just so glad that this battle was finished, even though he knew the threat was not yet defeated and there was still the Scottish to worry about.

But, he was going home, even if Johnathan couldn’t be at his side, he couldn’t tell Sophia that he loved her himself, he would be remembered. All Sirius wanted to do was ride all the way back to the palace, to his wife’s arms but of course he couldn’t do that yet. As the men celebrated, Remus turned to Sirius with a grin, dozens of cuts littering his young handsome face.

“Where is Johnathan? He should be celebrating with us! I like that man.”

Sirius’ face dropped and he felt hot tears pricking behind his eyes, Johnathan couldn’t celebrate with them and he wasn’t coming home, “he’s dead, I held him as he died,” Sirius’ voice broke,

Remus sighed mournfully as he pulled Sirius into a hug, “I’m so sorry, I know how much he meant to you. We’ll have a funeral for him and he’ll be remembered as a hero.”

Remus was true to his word, Sirius and his friends buried Johnathan – and all those who had fallen. Johnathan’s funeral was beautiful; James said a few words for him as did Sirius, who knew him best. On the day that they buried Johnathan, the sun come out and melted the snow and the river began running again. It gave Sirius hope that better days were coming. He knew that better days were coming.

Sirius was in high spirits as the army began the trek back home and he joined in with the triumphant bawdy songs. He grinned at those who remained those who would see the people they loved again. He thought of Y/N every second of the way, he was going to sleep in her warm comforting arms for a whole month and nobody would be able to stop him.

---------------------------------------------------

It had been two weeks, two whole weeks since your love had gallantly rode off to battle and you were missing him terribly. You had vivid dreams about him every night, and in those dreams you were happy but that happiness was shattered when you woke up with a broken heart when your beautiful husband wasn’t lying next to you.

He was your anchor, you had shared so many experiences with one another, it felt like you were a widow already but you wouldn’t think about that. Even though, you had heard no news of the battle. Though, you weren’t the only one who was feeling lost, Lily waited for her King and Sophia paced around your chambers with a nervous look on her face as she held her stomach.

“It’s going to be okay you know,” you smiled at the pretty girl as you knitted baby clothes by the warmth of the fire, “they’ll come home safe,” you tried to convince yourself of that too. There could be no alternative; you didn’t even want to think about it.

Sophia shot you a nervous smile, “it’s not just that,” she sighed, biting her lip, “I suppose that I should tell you, word will travel fast when the army return for the victory feast,” she took a deep breath as you frowned at her words, “the father of my baby is King Francis.”

“Sophia, I…” you trailed off, gobsmacked and hurt that your dearest friend had lain with the man who had threated your child. The only sound in the room was the crackle of the roaring fire.

“At the summit, when you were with Lily, he came by to apologise to you for being rude. He saw that I was upset and he comforted me. I wrote to him and he bids me to come to court as his mistress.”

“Do you want that?” you asked weakly as you found your voice, you were utterly shocked at this news.

Sophia shrugged as she played with her fingers, “I’d be ruined here when people find out, France will be the safest place for me and my child. He was a kind lover,” her eyes welled up, “I know that I’ve shamed you.”

You shook your head as her voice broke and you pulled her into a hug, “you could never shame me, if this is what you want that I’ll support you,” she was right, France would be the safest place for her and you couldn’t be angry at her for wanting to keep herself and her unborn child safe, “I’ll miss you,” you teared up, your heart feeling heavy, “can I persuade you to stay until I give birth? I want you by my side, Sirius and I will see to it that you get safe passage to France.”

Sophia pulled away from you and she smiled kindly as she took your hands in her soft ones, “of course, it would be an honour to attend you in your birthing bed. Thank you, Your Highness.”

The two of you warmed yourselves by the fire and Sophia told you stories of what the King was like and what she imagined his court to be like. She looked so happy that you had to support her decision even if it killed you to hand her over to France. You talked with her for a couple of hours before a trumpet was blown outside and Sophia looked at you with sparkling, happy eyes.

“That means that the army has returned!”

You gasped, your heart felt impossibly light, your husband had come home – you hoped – and without another word, you picked up your skirts and hurried onto the front lawn. The King was riding at the front of the company and you heard Lily squeal in delight before she ran to him, and you knew that Sophia was looking for Johnathan. Your heart stopped when you looked behind James and saw him, he looked so beautiful and gallant.

You watched him as he dismounted his horse and at once you ran into his arms, you never thought that you’d see him again or feel his warmth around you. Sirius chuckled as he lifted you off the ground and spun you around. You pulled your head away from his neck long enough to look at his handsome face, his eyes were soft as he gazed at you but you could tell that in their depths he felt haunted. You gently trailed your fingers over the bloody cuts on his face before leaning down to kiss him desperately. Sirius put you down as he kissed you back, clutching you desperately as his tongue dived into your mouth.

“I missed you so much,” he spoke in between kisses.

“I missed you too,” you stroked your thumbs against the hollow of his cheeks, “I’m so glad that you’ve come back to me. I love you.”

“I promised, I love you too,” he smiled as he pressed his forehead against yours.

Later that night, you were wrapped up in each other’s arms; it was obvious by the look on Sirius’ face that he didn’t want to talk about the battle so you didn’t ask him. He had been so brave but you wished that he didn’t have to be, you couldn’t lose him, it must have been so horrible for him. The only thing that Sirius had told you of the battle was the fact that Johnathan died in his arms. Sophia sobbed when Sirius told her the news and she sobbed even more when Sirius told her that Johnathan loved her and she was the last thing that he thought of.

Sirius huffed out a laugh as you leaned forward and lovingly kissed every single cut on his chest before you placed a kiss over his beating heart which jumped beneath your lips. You smiled as Sirius’ fingers dived into your hair, “you were all I thought about when I was away, every day I fought to come home to you.”

Your eyes teared up as you felt an overwhelming wave of love for the stunningly handsome man that was at your side, “I thought about you too, I dreamt of you every night, wishing you were here with me. Thank you for coming home to me, to us, thank you for keeping your promise,” tears fell down your cheeks as Sirius kissed your forehead.

“You don’t have to thank me my love, I keep the promises that I make, no matter what happens, I will always come home to you,” his thumbs wiped away your tears as he pulled you in for another kiss, resting his hands on your stomach.

You didn’t know what you would do without him, you knew that you could never love another, and you thanked God that he was home with you.

---------------------------------------------------

@smiithys @elayneblack @amelie-black @siriuslyjanhvi @pregnant-piggy @lindatreb @mabelle-cherie @hxrgreeves @britishspidey @mads-bri @classicrocketqueen @sxtansqueen @hufflepuffzutara @missmulti @bruxa0007 @ourstarsailor @fific7 @galwithbluethoughts @2410slb @sunles @krismeunicornbaobei @theincredibledeadlyviper @deathkat657

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mayonnaisetoffees · 3 years ago

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Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

#fic rec #spn fic rec #merlin fic rec #les mis fic rec

23 notes · View notes

atomicstrawbrys · 5 years ago

Note

okok i love your death england stuff and i was wondering if theres any au surrounding it or just the asthetic?? either way its awesome but if theres an au i would love to know more!!!

Well idk about a full fledged AU but I do have some notes about Arthur’s character if you wanna know lmao

Essentially, he’s the embodiment of Death. When people die, they are greeted by him, and he ferries them down the river to their afterlife.

He appears differently to different people. To good people, people who will have a good afterlife, he appears as the dark angel-like being that I’ve drawn so far. To bad people, he appears as a horrific monster. While good people are gently guided to the boat and given a pleasant journey, bad people are dragged to it in chains.

Arthur is perceived as indifferent by his peers. Many of them are of the misconception that Death is cold and unfeeling, and that he doesn’t care for humanity. (there are other embodiments, but Death is the most powerful and respected.) Really he cares for the good people deeply, and spends a lot of personal time with them making them feel comfortable and cared about. He loves them and takes great care in making sure their afterlife is as happy as it can be.

Arthur was human, once. All of the embodiments were. In life he was a funeral director, and had such care and respect for the deceased that once he himself passed he was given the choice to either reach his afterlife or be recreated into an eternal being whose purpose is to aid in the crossing from life to death. Arthur chose the latter.

Arthur died of natural causes. He never retired, and worked in the funeral home up until the day he died. He returned home from work, ate his favorite meal (a roast with asparagus and cheesy potatoes), finished his book, and went to bed. He never woke up again.

He was single, never married. However, he was the father to two children, a son and a daughter.

His daughter took the mantle of running the Kirkland Funeral Home after Arthur died. The last time Arthur ever saw her was after she died. She was a good person and he ferried her down the river to her afterlife. She didn’t recognize him until after he’d taken her down the river. She stepped off his boat and turned to thank him for the ride. She looked into his eyes, gasped, smiled, and whispered “Dad” before her soul faded into a peaceful eternity.

Arthur’s son was a horrible person. His son was a serial killer, who preyed on the vulnerable and murdered them slowly and painfully. He was never caught in life. Though Arthur appeared as a monster to him, he recognized his father’s voice, and as he was ferried down the river in chains he cursed, begged, and cried to Arthur, begging him to show mercy while also blaming Arthur for his actions. He called Arthur a terrible and neglectful father, and that it was all Arthur’s fault that he ended up becoming such a terrible person. Though none of what he said was true, it made Arthur’s heart ache, and he cried as he threw his son into the hellfire that was waiting for him.

He has recounted the story of his daughter many times to his fellow embodiments. However, he has only told one embodiment about his son.

Life, Arthur’s counterpart and lover, is the only embodiment who knows just how deeply Arthur cares about humanity. Many perceive him as cold, indifferent and distant, but only Life sees that Arthur is perhaps the most warm-hearted of them all.

Life is the only one who knows about Arthur’s son.

Life was once a man named Alfred F. Jones.

Ha, I guess I sorta fleshed out the idea while answering your ask! So I guess it is a whole AU now

#killer tw #killing tw #arthur kirkland #APH England #hetalia #Death AU #Embodiment AU #life and death AU

31 notes · View notes

sunaprincess7 · 7 years ago

Text

The Matchmaker

a/n: Okay, so this began life as a birthday present for the amazing @ghost-of-bambi but obviously as I’m the slowest writer of all time it’s taken this amount of time to post anything. Sarah, I’ve been a huge fan of your work forever so I hope it’s not too weird to randomly post this. Happy belated birthday - all mentions of Euphemia are obviously based on your amazing characteristion of her.

This is the first fanfic I’ve written in about ten years so hopefuly it’s okay and not too terrible to read. It’s me gently starting back into writing again with some fluff. Fingers crossed I’ll get better as I write more often. I should mention that James’s personality here is completely different from 15 year-old James as I tried to imagine how 18 years of being a young parent would change him.

Summary: James is a single parent, doing his best to get his eighteen year old son through school when Harry suddenly becomes desperate to set his dad up on a date. AU

FF.net link

“I’ve met a girl.”

James Potter looked up at his son from his dinner plate, mouth half full of the spaghetti Bolognese he had spent the afternoon preparing and was currently trying not to splatter all over the table because he didn’t plan on cleaning the kitchen for a second time that day.

“What happened to Bonnie?” Sirius asked uninterestedly from next to James, picking at his food. “You two seemed so in love it was enough to make me vomit. Not enough merlot,” he added briefly to James, who knew that some form of complaint was coming.

��Nothing has happened to Ginny,” Harry responded dryly, “not a girl for me. One for him,” he added, jerking his head towards James.

“Who? Me?” James asked, not really paying Harry any attention, “and the recipe said a glass,” he added to Sirius, ignoring the smirk that was forming on Remus’s face.

“The recipe is bollocks. And you used rosemary instead of thyme,” Sirius replied distastefully, peering into the bowl with narrowed eyes and picking through the strands of pasta with his fork.

“It’s a Jamie Oliver one. It says rosemary, not thyme,” James answered firmly, getting up to find the book, determined to prove his point and wondering why he bothered trying to feed anyone other than the one human in the room he was responsible for. “And you said you weren’t going to criticise my cooking anymore.”

“That was before I knew you were going to start fucking with a two-hundred-year-old recipe.”

“Dad!” Harry hissed, trying to glare at his father who was rifling through the ‘Oliver’s Twist’ recipe book. James thrust the book under Sirius’s nose, tapping triumphantly at the page.

“I’d advise bringing this up when Sirius isn’t here, Harry” Remus suggested wryly from the other end of the table. “And when Bolognese is not involved.”

“Why are you trying to set him up with a eighteen-year-old, anyways?” Sirius asked, finally turning his attention back to Harry, grabbing some more garlic bread and ignoring James’s insistent tapping at the book.

“She’s not eighteen, she’s your age,” Harry replied, successfully finding James’s eyes. “I think you’d really like her.”

“Thank you, as always, for your concern, Harry but I don’t need you to find me a girl,” James said with a small smile, sitting down again, “have some salad too.” He watched as his son reached for the salad bowl, before settling back to his own meal. Harry’s concern with his love life reared its head at least once a year but usually James was able to avert any serious discussion of the subject matter by bringing up rugby or suggesting another Mario Kart tournament.

“Yes, you do! You’re terrible with women. I can’t remember you ever going on a date,” Harry hit back, ladling a huge amount of salad onto his plate without looking and throwing down the tongs carelessly.

“He has a point, Prongs,” Sirius agreed, inspecting Jamie Oliver’s book with a grimace. “This is bollocks. Why didn’t you use Carluccio’s recipe?”

“Because you stole my book and still haven’t given it back!” James gritted out, grabbing the book out of Sirius’s hands.

“Harry, your father doesn’t need a girlfriend because he has already has a wife to bicker with,” Remus interjected smartly as Sirius and James glared at him in sync.

“I’ve noticed that,” Harry smirked, ignoring his father’s glare. “Seriously, Dad, she’s exactly your type. She’s smart and witty and…and she could…keep up with you,” he finished sincerely. “Just give it a chance.”

“Out of curiosity, where exactly are you meeting women in their thirties, Harry?” Remus queried bemusedly.

“She’s a friend of Mrs Weasley’s,” Harry replied, a little indignantly, still primarily talking to James. “I’ve met her a couple of times at the Burrow. She’s a librarian.”

“Harry,” James sighed, “I will worry about my own love life; you worry about your exams and university. If you get into Oxford, I’ll marry this woman, how does that sound?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “It sounds like you’re ignoring me. Ginny thinks you’d be perfect together.”

“You and your girlfriend are eighty years old,” Sirius observed grimly, “and you know your father is celibate.”

“I am not celibate,” James stated, beginning to sound hassled. “I have a son who is a full-time job,” he continued, pointedly staring at Harry, “and two friends who eat all my food constantly. Now can we please talk about something else? Is Ginny playing on Saturday?”

“Yes, it’s a big match,” Remus replied with the air of someone trying to move the conversation along, passing Harry the garlic bread. “Whole school was worried her ankle wouldn’t recover in time.”

“She’s okay now though, right?” James asked Harry. “You said she’s been back at training.”

“Ginny is fine, her ankle is fine, she is going to win us the match single-handedly, five tries at least” Harry replied, setting his fork down. “Stop changing the subject.”

“As owner of this house, this table, this cutlery and this food, I get to change the subject,” James quipped, setting his own fork down.

“Alright, I’ll change the subject,” Sirius interrupted, “who else thinks Prongs is turning into Fleamont?”

“Sirius…” Remus said wearily.

“What?” he exclaimed, “I definitely heard old Flea’ say that at some point. His cooking was a lot better than yours, though,” he added, flinging a small piece of rocket at James who stopped himself from flinging some salad back.

“You’re not helping,” Remus replied, before turning to Harry, teacher voice now firmly in place, “Harry, you know you are your father’s priority. I’m sure when you’re out of the house, he will start dating.”

“Now, who’s his wife, Moony?”

“Remus is right, Harry,” James said evenly, taking a deep breath. “You are my priority.”

“Ok,” Harry said begrudgingly, stirring his pasta around on the plate and allowing a brief pause before he next spoke. “Changing the subject…” he started as James began to eat again, “isn’t it pathetic that the only person having sex at this table is the eighteen-year-old?”

Sirius, James and Remus looked at each other and James noted his son holding his breath until he saw a small smile make its way onto their faces.

“He’s been spending too much time with your mother,” Sirius said to James, shaking his head, “and not enough time with mine. I’ve said for years some physical chastisement is exactly what you need,” he finished to Harry, thrusting his fork at him yet still somehow grinning with pride.

“Seriously, when was the last time any of you got any?” Harry queried, looking around the table, ignoring his father’s look of disapproval, daring to go further now that he knew he could.

“Well, Moony is still trying to figure out how to tell Tonks he likes her, even though she’s already asked him out, so probably around four years ago when he dated that teaching assistant for three weeks and didn’t tell anyone,” Sirius began, elaborately picking up his glass of wine and eyeing Remus, “I believe it’s unfair to offer women anything more than friendship when I’m still on my philosophical journey towards enlightenment…”

“Which means he keeps telling women he doesn’t believe in work, marriage or having children and they won’t sleep with him after that,” Remus added lowly to Harry.

“And as for your father,” Sirius continued loudly, “add nine months to eighteen years and there’s your answer.”

“Thank you,” James groaned, now giving up on his dinner and leaning back in his chair. “I remember there was a time when you two were actually helpful to me as a single parent.”

“Well, I think we’ve established that, of the people sat at this table, I am the only one qualified to be giving out advice about dating,” Harry said happily, particularly at James. “You should go out with Lily.”

James was about to rebut Harry’s suggest when Remus spoke quickly. “Lily Evans?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered, “you know her?”

“Yes, through Molly as well,” Remus laughed, “she was at Arthur’s birthday party a few years ago. The one you two ditched in favour of staying in to binge watch Stranger Things,” he told James and Sirius.

“Right decision,” Sirius stated triumphantly, as James grinned back.

“You know, Harry might be right, Prongs,” Remus continued, leaning back in his chair. “I can see you two together.”

“Thank you!” Harry sang, turning to his dad expectantly with a large smile.

When James regarded Remus sceptically, he went on, “she’s sharp, funny and very pretty from what I remember. She also laughed at all of Arthur’s terrible jokes which means she has the same sense of humour as you.”

“One, I have a great sense of humour,” James huffed, “two, we didn’t ditch Arthur’s party, Harry wasn’t well and three, if she’s so great, why don’t you go out with her?”

“Harry had a mild cold and we both know you ditched because you’re obsessed with single parent television shows,” Remus threw back confidently, as Harry sniggered. “And I’m not going to go out with her because I don’t fancy her. But, remembering back centuries ago when you last expressed an interest in girl, she seems like your type.”

“He doesn’t have a type, Moony,” Sirius observed, “he’s Joyce Byers in glasses and little Will here is his only concern.”

“Ok, I am ending this conversation once and for all,” James interjected, standing up and leaning down over the table. “I’m going to read in the other room and you two can do the dishes for being such terrible guests,” he said to Remus and Sirius. “Harry, go finish your homework and stop worrying about finding me a girlfriend.”

James gave them all one final look before exiting the room.

“You know he’s going to play Super Mario Odyssey, right?” he heard Harry say as he shut the kitchen door. “And he is going to go out with Lily,” he added as Sirius laughed. “He’ll be pining over her the minute he sees her.”

...

The one habit James noted he had picked up as a parent was the ability to arrive on time. He thought this as he surveyed The Three Crowns from his booth, bemoaning the fact that no one else seemed to have developed this particular skill in the intervening years. Watching the rugby with Harry, Ginny and Sirius had been a tradition for years as was the fact that James always watched the first fifteen minutes by himself.

This Saturday wasn’t so bad, he thought, letting his eyes drift over to the back of the bar where they had been coming to rest more and more the longer he sat there. James didn’t know if it was because of Harry’s insistence earlier that week that he start dating but for some reason he could not stop staring at a girl with a book, a radiant smile and vivid red hair as she sat sipping her coffee.

He was beginning to feel inappropriate, watching her so intently but every so often, she’d smile at something she had read and James would feel his pulse quicken and a smile ghost over his own face. He’d force himself to stare down into his pint but when his self-control weakened, he’d look back up again and once or twice she’d been looking at him. The first time their eyes connected, he half forgot how to breathe, looked away quickly and inwardly wondered how his eighteen-year-old son was better around women than he was.

“You look like crap,” Sirius said as he appeared out of nowhere, sliding into the booth with a pint of Guinness.

“Thanks.”

“Are you ill?”

“I’m fine,” James responded, turning his glass in his hands and taking a second to phrase next question as Sirius watched the match. “Do you think I need to date?” he asked carefully.

“What?” Sirius snorted, looking down from the tv screen. “Is this about the sprog and his obsession with this librarian?”

“Maybe,” James said, his eyes drifting back over to the redhead.

Sirius followed his gaze and turned around in his seat to see what James was looking at.

“You want to date her?” he queried, grinning at James as James inwardly cursed Sirius’s eternal lack of subtlety.

The girl caught his eye again and James felt his stomach flutter. He looked away to smile weakly at Sirius.

“Oh God,” Sirius let out, rolling his eyes. “I don’t think I’m ready for pining Prongs again. I need at least three more pints.”

“I’m not pining,” James said lowly, worried she’d hear them, although that was completely unrealistic over the noise of the pub and the television. “She just…well, she’s…”

“What?”

“I can’t stop staring at her,” he admitted, as Sirius looked at him strangely. “It’s not that I haven’t found other women attractive but since Harry was born, I’ve never really…”

“Fancied anyone?” Sirius tried helpfully.

“…taken a second look,” James finished uncomfortably. “And now…now I can’t stop staring at her.”

Sirius continued to look at him with a strange look, until he sat back in his seat.

“You know, Harry was right, he really is best qualified to give out this kind of advice,” he said, taking a large gulp of Guinness.

“Do you think it’s because he was suggesting I date?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius shrugged, “maybe. Or maybe you just think she’s hot.”

“She’s beautiful,” James corrected softly, staring at her again.

“For fuck sake, Prongs,” Sirius groaned, hitting the table, “you haven’t even spoken to her yet and you’re already looking at her like she’s your long-lost love.”

“Who’s his long-lost love?” Ginny asked, appearing out of nowhere with Harry in tow, both of them in rugby shirts and both of them blocking James’s view.

“Minnie!” Sirius cried, patting the seat beside him, “how are you?”

“I thought you said the man-child was banished from pub rugby,” Ginny asked James dryly, taking the seat.

“He knows where we drink,” James advised her, “I tried distracting him with a chew toy but he followed me here.”

“Oi!” Sirius cried, glaring at James.

“Stop looking wounded, you deserve it,” Harry scolded Sirius.

“Now, who is Mr Potter’s long-lost love?” Ginny asked brightly, smiling at James.

“Harry, you promised she’d stop calling me that,” James muttered.

“Only after you promised you’d make him learn my name,” Ginny replied, elbowing Sirius. “Now, stop ignoring my question!”

“There’s some woman over there that your father is mooning over,” Sirius finally answered, snubbing James’s protests.

“Who?” Ginny asked, sounding delighted as she and Harry eagerly surveyed the pub.

“The redhead in the back. Green dress, book. Making your father weak at the knees, apparently.”

“Ask her out,” Harry said immediately, looking at the woman and then back to James.

“Harry…” James sighed, taking a second to glower at Sirius before letting his head hang forward.

“What?” the boy exclaimed, as Ginny smiled and took his hand. “You like her, right? Just go over there and say hello.”

“You should,” Ginny urged, nodding her head in tandem with Harry as James inwardly agreed with Sirius that sometimes they did look like eighty-year olds.

“Can we all please stop talking about Prongs and his boring love life and watch the goddamn match,” Sirius hissed, wincing at the tv screen. “Your stupid team is losing this match, Mitsy.”

“They’re your team too, you overgrown trust fund baby,” Ginny shot back pleasantly, “and they’re not losing anything, you just don’t understand anything about rugby tactics.”

Letting the sound of Ginny and Sirius’s playful arguing fade into the background as Harry went to get a drink, James moved his head slightly to see if the redhead was still sitting in the back of the bar. He hadn’t noticed her green dress until Sirius pointed it out but now he looked at her, the green stood out to him as much as her eyes. James smiled a little to himself, watching her casually playing with an errant piece of her hair which had fallen from its bun. He was starting to contemplate the possibility of maybe going over to speak to her when he jumped to noticed that Harry had gotten there before him. Unable to yelp in time to stop it, he broke out in a sweat properly this time as he watched the woman smile and turn to his son.

“Sirius, never have children,” James hissed hurriedly, somewhere hoping that his best friend would manage to salvage this situation without him having to do anything.

“Wh…” Sirius began to ask, turning around in his seat and then shaking his head when he saw what James was looking at. “He gets all this from Euphemia, you know. Hattie, tell your boyfriend to get back over here before Prongs dies of shame.”

Ginny was about to respond but lost her chance when the woman stood up and started walking with Harry back to their table, making James wonder if his heart was going to stop before they got there.

“You can tell your boyfriend he is grounded until his twenty-fifth birthday,” James spat, feeling his right-hand drift to his hair, helpless to stop it as Ginny ignored him.

“Hi,” Ginny said brightly to the pair as they reached the booth, all three of them smiling as James wondered how bright red his face was.

“Hi, rocket,” the woman replied, grinning down at Ginny and gripping her by the shoulder. “You playing tomorrow?”

“Yup,” Ginny answered, “can’t wait. I want five tries or more. Nothing less.”

The woman laughed. “Your girlfriend is fierce, Potter,” she said to Harry, whacking him on the shoulder.

“I know,” Harry smiled, “by the way, have you met my Dad? Dad, this is Lily Evans. Lily, this is my dad, James.”

Ignoring what he knew was certainly going to be a long conversation with his son later, James felt his mouth go dry as her vivid green eyes turned to him and she smiled gently. “Hi.”

“I’m not married,” was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

All of a sudden, James couldn’t hear anything other than the sound of Sirius snorting into his Guinness and howling with laughter.

“That was….fantastic,” Sirius snickered between breaths, banging the table with his fist and still coughing up his drink.

“Um…okay…,” Lily replied, a half smile ghosting over her face. James’s eyes drifted from Ginny and Harry’s delighted faces back over to Lily’s. She was now starting to smile fully and James couldn’t help but feel a smile creep onto his own, embarrassed face.

“For the record, neither is she,” Harry said triumphantly, sitting down next to James again and giving him a knowing look.

“Subtle, kid,” Lily smirked, now the only one standing as Ginny sat down too.

“Join us, Lil’,” Ginny invited, patting the seat next to her and shoving a disgruntled Sirius over to the corner of the booth. “Come sit in the non-married booth.”

Rolling her eyes, Lily slid in next to Ginny, nudging her in the side.

“You are a carbon copy of your father, Potter,” she said, eyes darting between them both as James felt his hand go to his hair again, causing Lily to smile once more.

“No,” Harry replied, shaking his head, “not at all. I have a girlfriend. My father is single.”

Lily met James’s eyes, both of them now grinning.

“I think I heard that somewhere,” Lily breathed, blushing lightly which didn’t help James at all.

“I would like to apologise on behalf of my son,” James tried steadily, wincing at the sound of his own ridiculous voice as it came out. “He thinks he’s helping, but he’s not.”

“Not helping would be pointing out that you’ve been single for 18 years,” Sirius added, smirking at James. “Sirius Black,” he went on to Lily, “I’m single but not interested.”

“Trust me when I say she doesn’t care,” Ginny said, rolling her eyes. “Did you know James raised Harry all by himself, Lily,” she continued, now grinning along with Harry.

“I did know that,” Lily nodded, looking again at James who held onto his right hand with his left to stop it from leaping to his hair. “You mentioned that when you brought Harry and his dad up two nights ago,” she said, now smiling meaningfully at Harry. “There seem to be a plan here,” she finished to James.

“I’m starting to get that sense myself,” James responded, trying to look annoyed at his son but failing miserably – he was starting to rather like this plan. “You’re a lot more troublesome than I was as a teenager,” he added to Harry, ignoring Sirius’s snickers of disbelief in the background.

“Maybe you two should grab a drink sometime to discuss the failing youth of today,” Ginny suggested helpfully. “Or why don’t you come to the match tomorrow?”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Lily said, causing the smile to fall off James’s face before he could figure out a way to agree with Ginny without seeming too eager.

“What? Why not?” Ginny retorted, sounding outraged as James became very quickly aware of how small the booth was.

“Oh, don’t look so put out,” Lily said dismissively, looking from Harry to Ginny. “It’s not the end of the world.”

“Yeah, it isn’t,” Sirius chimed in, “Moony said she was smart but if she doesn’t want to go out with Prongs, she’s an idiot and he doesn’t need her.”

“Sirius,” James warned, unable to apologise before Lily cut in.

“I’m not going to go out with someone who has stood me up already,” Lily said lightly, as all four heads in the booth snapped to look at her at once.

“What?” James and Harry asked at the same time. “He stood you up?” Harry asked, this time by himself, already glaring at James.

“No!” James replied before Lily could, turning to her, his face creased with confusion. “I’ve never…”

“You know, you’re a lot like your mother, Rocket,” Lily interrupted, smiling at Ginny. “And you’re definitely not the first person who has thought that James and I should date,” she went on, now turning to grin victoriously at James. “I have very vivid recollections of Molly Weasley emphatically detailing your every virtue as well as saying, ‘he’s raising Harry on his own, Lily!’,” she chuckled.

“Mum tried to set you up?” Ginny asked faintly, as Lily nodded.

For reasons he was trying to ignore, James felt severely uncomfortable with the idea that Lily wouldn’t go out with him through some misunderstanding. He was about to speak up on his own behalf when Sirius got there first.

“He hasn’t had a date in eighteen years,” Sirius droned, sounding unimpressed, “how is it possible that…”

“14 May 2007,” Lily cut in loudly, not bothering to look at Sirius. “We were supposed to meet for drinks in Newington Green because it was near where you lived: some pub opposite...”

“…the green,” James inserted faintly, feeling his memory come flooding back to him. As realisation crossed his face, Lily smiled wryly. “Oh my God,” he said, sounding exactly as horrified as he felt, feeling the colour drain from his face.

“The Alma,” she remembered. “Molly said you liked it because it had good pub quizzes.”

“It did,” Sirius said, clearly taking the opportunity to speak because words were failing James. “We went every Thursday. Why didn’t you tell me you had a date?”

“Why didn’t you show up is the more important question?” Harry put in, continuing to glare at James in the way that only disappointed children can.

“I…I…,” James stuttered, trying to remember back to his thought processes that night, “I can’t really remember,” he said, as Harry rolled his eyes. “I only…vaguely…remember not wanting to leave you.”

“That’s your excuse?” Harry retorted dramatically.

“It’s a pretty good one, kid,” Lily said, drawing Harry’s attention and ire away from James. “Well, it’s a good one for not wanting to go out on a date,” she reassessed, “you still could have called,” she added, smirking again at James.

“I definitely should have called,” James replied, leaning forward earnestly. “I am really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Lily stated charitably as Harry snorted, “really it is. I had a few drinks, ate and went home with the barman,” she smiled, effortlessly lightening the mood as Ginny giggled.

“Really?”

“Really. We went out for 6 months,” she laughed, “it’s the reason I remember the date I was stood up. If I wanted to blame the whole wretched relationship on you I could, I suppose,” she mused humorously, looking at James.

“Lily, on behalf of my father, I would like to apologise,” Harry said solemnly, mimicking his father.

“You don’t have to, I’ve already done that,” James said quickly, before turning to Lily again, “really, I am. Sorry. I was an idiot. There’s no excuse.”

“James, it’s fine,” Lily replied, focusing on him so completely with those green eyes of hers that James had to take a deep breath. “Give your dad a break, Potter,” she said to Harry. “Everyone is stupid in their early twenties…apart from you and the missus obviously.”

“Well then you give him a break,” Sirius mumbled as James kicked him under the table. “Give him another chance and go out with him.”

Lily laughed, shaking her head and turned to James, “you know that is officially the third person to ask me out on your behalf.”

“Eh….yeah….I can see that,” James said, feeling himself go red again.

“He doesn’t have a lot of experience asking girls out,” Sirius put in helpfully.

“He really doesn’t,” Harry confirmed to Lily earnestly.

“If it helps, you’re the first girl I’ve wanted to ask out in 17 years,” James added quietly, trying to pretend that he and Lily were the only two people at the table. She smiled in such a pretty way, his stomach flip-flopped, and he was forced to stare at the table.

“That was a pretty decent line for someone who’s been out of the game so long,” Lily replied, sounding far more sensible than James although he noted she now blushing again.

“Ask her out,” Ginny hissed unsubtly across the table, causing everyone to laugh.

“Could I maybe take you to dinner?” James tried, feeling relieved as Lily continued to smile.

“Sure,” Lily said with a small nod of her head, “as long as you’re planning to show up this time.”

“Trust me, he is,” Sirius confirmed, “He’s free every Saturday for the next ten years. Pick one that suits you and he’ll be there.”

“Here,” Lily said, scribbling on a napkin and then handing it to James, “that’s my number. Call me and we’ll arrange a date,” she stood up, and turned to Harry and Ginny, “and nice wing-manning, you two. You did nothing to help,” she said pleasantly to Sirius finally before walking away.

“See,” Harry said to James, nudging him once more. “She can put up with Sirius. She’s made for you!”

...

“Do not wear that stupid patterned shirt that you think looks nice,” James heard his son yell up the stairs.

“I can get dressed by myself, thank you,” James yelled back, throwing down the patterned shirt and making his way back to the wardrobe, now knowing why he hadn’t bothered to date in eighteen years. The sick feeling in his stomach wasn’t one he was used to but if felt like a snake was slithering around his innards. He didn’t know how he was going to finish a meal never mind make witty conversation.

“Something white, Prongs,” Remus suggested, also yelling up the stairs. “Wear a white shirt and some form of jacket.”

“How do you know what he should wear?” he heard Sirius query derisively.

“I’m reliably informed by my female colleagues that when going on a date one should always try to look like James Bond.”

“Are you planning to feed my son at all this evening or do I need to call mum?” James yelled back, picking out the one white-ish shirt that he possessed and wondering if the only formal jacket he owned was his old school blazer.

“He’s eating cereal out of the box, does that not count?” Sirius asked.

“We’re ordering pizza at mine later,” Remus supplied, just as James was about to yell back. “The black jacket Harry wore to his formal last year is still in his wardrobe, it’d probably fit you.”

“Thanks,” James replied hesitantly, throwing on the white shirt and wandering into Harry’s room to rifle through his wardrobe. He jumped when he felt a hand fall on his shoulder.

“You’re going to be fine,” Remus reassured, moving over to Harry’s bed to sit down.

“I don’t know about that,” James half-laughed, pulling hangers apart. “I never learned how to do this bit. I was too busy learning how to put on nappies.”

“I spoke to Molly earlier this week,” Remus replied, as James found the jacket. “She couldn’t have been nicer about Lily. She doesn’t sound like the kind to put you through the ringer. Plus, she knows it’s your first date in a while…”

“I doubt she forgot when Sirius and Harry were reminding her every two minutes,” James cut in grumpily.

“…so I think you’ll get a bit of leeway if you do anything stupid.”

“Like what?”

“Like propose.”

James laughed, turning to look at himself in the mirror. “You know, when Harry had his first date with Ginny, I told him it was going to be easy and he shouldn’t worry. Clearly, I was an idiot.”

“Clearly, you were right. They’ve been together for a year. Sounds like their first date went well.”

“Why did I say I’d do this?” James moaned, throwing himself down on the bed beside Remus. “There is no way I’m not going to make an idiot out of myself. When I look at her, I can’t think properly. I can’t talk like a normal person…”

“You’ve been texting this week, haven’t you?”

“A bit,” James admitted, “she’s much better at this whole flirting thing than I am too,” he said, pulling out his phone and passing it to Remus.

“She likes you,” he grinned, scrolling through the messages.

“I have no idea why,” James replied, grabbing his phone back and looking at his own messages. “I text like someone in their fifties. I remind me of my mother. I should’ve watched more of that Love Island thing Sirius was obsessed with. I might have learned something.”

“You text fine, you don’t have to be like a reality tv contestant, you can just be yourself,” Remus said, patting him on the back again. “Molly says she thinks you’re charming.”

James felt his eyebrows leap up into his hair, “she does?”

“According to Molly,” Remus smiled, “so you must have done something right at the Crown.”

“Moony, hurry up, he has to leave in five,” Sirius screeched from downstairs, as Remus threw his eyes up to heaven and they both got up.

“Will you tip the delivery guy this time,” James asked Remus as they made their way downstairs, “they add half an hour to my delivery time every time you don’t.”

“Yes, I will,” Remus droned, shuffling down the stairs behind him. “I also won’t let Sirius answer the door, will make sure we put out any fires before tweeting about them, lock the door before we leave and only let Harry have two beers, not five.”

“So basically, you’re going to make this the dullest evening ever,” Sirius greeted them with Harry in tow, both of them eating out of the same box of cereal.

“I am leaving now,” James said, ignoring them.

“Oh!” Harry said, shoving the box of cereal towards Sirius. “Here,” he went on, stuffing his hand into his back pocket and pulling out a condom. “I’m staying at Remus’s tonight. Be safe. Last thing you want is an unexpected pregnancy.”

“Brilliant,” James said dryly, pushing Harry’s hand away and going towards the door. “I will be coming home tonight, so you don’t need to stay at Remus’s,” James advised.

“I’ve been waiting my entire life to make that joke,” he heard Harry say to Sirius as he shut the front door.

...

As he walked to the restaurant he had suggested, James was glad he had picked one that he could get to on foot. For one, the cold air was helping to calm his nerves and cool him down and for another, it meant he caught sight of Lily standing outside of the trattoria, leaning against the wall, before she saw him. That gave him the opportunity to acknowledge how amazing she looked before he actually had to talk to her. She was wearing some floaty white dress with pink flowers and birds on it that somehow helped her to look unreasonably pretty. She had a leather jacket on over that made James think Sirius would probably approve after all.

Taking a deep breath to ready himself, James ruffled his hair and walked up to her with what he hoped was a normal smile. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Lily replied brightly. “You’re here.”

“Yes,” James laughed, “I made it this time. Is that why you’re standing outside?”

“Yup,” she grinned, “I didn’t fancy sitting at a table by myself for an hour whilst the waiters looked at me like I was pathetic. At least this way, I could make sure you showed up.”

“Eh, yeah…have I apologised for that?”

“Twice,” Lily said, “so I think three times would be overkill. Shall we go in?”

Managing to open the door for Lily, ask for their table and seat himself all without saying anything stupid, James opened his menu when Lily did likewise.

“This all looks great,” she hummed, as James took a second to appreciate the sight of her swooning over the menu. “Good choice.”

“Sirius approves of their Bolognese, so I figured it was a safe bet,” James agreed, mentally taking note of the food he could eat without looking ridiculous.

“Molly said you cook for them all quite a bit,” Lily half-asked, still looking downwards.

“Yeah,” James replied, “Sirius and Remus sort of live with me and Harry, except when they decide not to. I think you know Remus? He said he met you a couple of years ago?”

“At Arthur’s birthday,” Lily nodded, setting her menu down. “Seemed a little shy at first but by the end of the night…”

“…you realised that was an act and he’s the worst prankster you’ve ever met?”

“Yes!” Lily said excitedly, smiling widely. “He put shaving foam behind all of Molly’s door handles.”

“I love watching people figure out that Remus is completely evil,” James grinned back. “Everyone thinks he’s this shy, principled teacher the first time they meet him. Then he rips the last pages out of the books they’re reading and they figure out his true nature quickly.”

“He does not do that!” Lily hissed, looking genuinely horrified.

“I’m sorry to say it’s true,” James replied sorrowfully. “For two years, I thought Sirius was ruining all my books and he thought it was me doing it to him, and then one day we went to Remus’s house and he had papered the bathroom with the pages of all the books he’d defaced.”

“What did you do?” Lily asked, attention rapt.

“I think Sirius called him his hero and swore fealty to him on the spot,” James tried to recall. “We had just finished watching Game of Thrones,” he clarified.

“I find all of this offensive as a librarian,” Lily stated firmly, shaking her head. “I’m going to have to reprimand Ginny. She cannot call him her favourite teacher when this is how he behaves.”

“Harry says you met him at Arthur’s party too?”

“Yeah,” Lily smiled, “he was lovely. Cleared the table with Molly and got everyone drinks the whole night. Very mannerly.”

“That’s all my mother,” James clarified hastily. “She loves Ginny, she’s determined they’re getting married and that Harry is going to impress his in-laws.”

Lily laughed out loud as the waiter appeared and took their order.

“So, you know a lot about me from Harry and Ginny and Molly,” James began again, starting to feel more relaxed as Lily smirked. “What about you? Any crazy friends who live with you or children who act like the parent?”

“None,” she replied, “although I do have several crazy friends. They like to show up to the library, sneak in bottles of wine and get drunk while I work. Then they complain about the service.”

“That might just beat Sirius and Remus,” James laughed, “although do not tell Sirius about that or he’ll be with your friends next time you’re working.”

“They’re great really,” Lily said happily. “I’d be lost without Mary. I was given seven outfit choices for this evening and then told which one to pick.”

“Well, Mary has great taste. You look beautiful,” James tried, hoping that the line that sounded romantic in his head actually came out that way.

Lily gave him a stunning smile for his efforts. “I’ll let her know,” she said as the waiter arrived to bring over some water and take their orders.

“So, is Harry happy that you’re finally on a date?” she asked after the waiter had left.

“Delighted,” James confirmed.

“He and Ginny seemed to be very interested in your love life.”

“I think he’s just worried about going off to university and leaving me alone,” James said, inwardly wincing at how feeble he sounded.

“That’s quite cute,” Lily replied sincerely. “That’s a good son you’ve raised all by yourself.”

James grinned, “I definitely didn’t raise him ‘all by myself’. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without a lot of help from my parents. And Remus and Sirius as well. But he’s turned out pretty great, even if it is me saying that.”

“Is it okay to ask about his mum?” Lily queried, somewhat nervously.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “it is. She’s a photographer, travels a lot. Harry sees her when she’s in England. Most of the time, she lives in Amsterdam.”

“How long has he lived with you?”

“Since he was about one,” James said, knowing he was getting into uncomfortable territory but deciding it was better to tell the story now. “I knew from when he was born that I wanted to take care of him and after a while, his mum wasn’t really handling the responsibility so well. Which was fine. She wanted to go to uni and all of that. I wanted to stay home with Harry. So, I spoke to my mum and we all decided Harry would live with us.”

“How did you meet her?” Lily continued, still sounding unsure of herself.

“In school,” James said. “We didn’t really date,” he went on steadily, “just sorted of bonded over Pokemon Blue and then were a bit stupid.”

“A bit?” Lily said incredulously, “I can’t believe you even bothered with blue, yellow was the only one worth playing.”

“Yellow wasn’t out until 2000 and I was already hooked on Blue by then,” James corrected confidently, smiling when Lily looked impressed rather than repulsed.

“That is some serious nerd knowledge,” Lily marvelled, looking at him in such a way that he ruffled his hair again, inwardly hating himself. “Do you still play?”

“Not at all,” James obviously lied, “I’m a grown-up man who isn’t in any way addicted to Pokemon Go.”

“Brilliant,” Lily laughed, “Ginny told me about this.”

“About what?” he asked, as the waiter arrived with their food.

“About the videogames, the D&D, the board game café…”

“In my defence, I like rugby as well,” James tried, looking down at his plate.

“Oh, she told me about the rugby coaching and pub rugby too,” Lily smiled, startling James when she reached across the table to take his hand. “But it was the nerd thing I liked best.”

“It was?” James asked, hoping his hand wasn’t too clammy.

“Yeah,” Lily nodded, a bit bashfully, “librarian, remember?” she said, gesturing to herself.

“Is that why you decided to give me a second chance?”

Lily smiled and shook her head. “No, I gave you a second chance because you’re really hot.”

James couldn’t hold back the disbelieving laugh he let out.

“You are!” Lily insisted, squeezing his hand before she let it go. “And…you know…the good father thing helps too.”

“It does?” he checked, as Lily grinned in a way that James found particularly alluring.

“Yes,” she confirmed, “your love for your son somehow makes you hotter. I have no idea why. Now, ask me about my book collection. As a nerd, you’re about to find me unbearably hot.”

...

Over the rest of dinner, Lily revealed herself to be pretty much the perfect woman, save for her preference for Charmander as a starter Pokemon. What James still couldn’t believe was that everything she said indicated that she was an in to him as he was to her. He didn’t know what he was doing to make her feel this way but no matter how stupid or ridiculous he sounded to himself, Lily laughed, smiled and flirted her way through the rest of the night. Still putting James’s flirting skills to shame but at least giving him the confidence to relax a bit more and think that maybe she might go out with him a second time.

However, no matter how relaxed he was by the end of the night, nothing prepared James for the shock of her trying to kiss him.

“Are you okay?” she giggled, as he jumped when she moved in closer to him after they had walked away from the restaurant.

“Eh…yeah,” James breathed, feeling once more like an idiot but taking both Lily’s hands and pulling her closer again. “I wasn’t expecting you to do that.”

“I keep forgetting you’re new at this,” Lily said quietly, moving towards him easily.

“So, I kiss you now,” he confirmed, as Lily nodded with a small laugh.

“Yes,” she murmured, kissing him first.

Kissing Lily and feeling her press up against him after a full week of day-dreaming about her was the best wish fulfilment James could have hoped for. It made him forget all his concerns that he didn’t have a clue what he was doing, emptying his head of all thoughts but her and how amazing she was.

“Would you maybe like to do this again sometime?” James blurted out as Lily pulled away, keeping her arms looped around his neck.

Lily laughed again.

“James, this is the part where you try to get me to go home with you.”

“I do?” he responded, causing her to laugh harder.

“Yeah,” she confirmed, nudging her nose against his. “If it helps, you won’t have to try that hard.”

Ignoring the twisting in his stomach, James smiled, “fancy seeing my video game collection?”

...

James was busy making scrambled eggs when he heard the front door open and close behind him.

“Hey,” he said to Harry and Sirius as they ambled into the kitchen.

“As you can see, he’s still alive and only has a minor hangover,” Sirius announced, clapping Harry on the shoulder.

“How’d it go last night?” Harry said immediately as James looked at him.

“Good,” James replied, trying to hide his smile. “We had a nice time.”

“Good,” Harry repeated, evidently happy though sounding slightly surprised.

“Didn’t bring her home though,” Sirius mocked, elbowing Harry.

“I didn’t expect him to,” Harry condescended, folding his arms. “Doesn’t matter, means I can make that condom joke another couple of times.”

“That’s if she’ll see him again,” Sirius put in, lowering himself into a chair. “She might just’ve said it went well to not hurt his feelings. Did she actually laugh at dinner or was she pity laughing, Prongs?”

James was saved the trouble of responding as Lily strode into the kitchen, silencing Harry and Sirius in the middle of their chuckles.

“I don’t pity laugh,” she said, not looking at either of them and walking over to James, hair still wet from the shower, his shirt looking better on her than it ever did on him. “Do you have a hair dryer?” she asked, moving her arms around his neck and pressing a kiss against his cheek.

“Yeah,” he smiled, thoroughly enjoying the stunned looks on Harry and Sirius’s faces. “Sirius’s from when he lived here. It’s in the closet in the bathroom.”

“Thanks,” she said, giving him another kiss, “I’ll be down in a minute. Don’t let Sirius eat all my breakfast,” she added, leaving with a smirk.

“There isn’t breakfast for anyone other than me and you,” James said after her, turning back to the stove.

“What?” Sirius yelped, finally finding the words to speak.

“You have to feed me, I’m your child!” Harry protested.

“How long is it before you bugger off to uni again?” James asked, ladling the scrambled eggs onto two plates with toast.

“Hey!” Harry objected, somehow managing to sound half-pleased.

“We’re eating upstairs,” James decided, lifting the plates and cutlery, “Harry, if Sirius won’t feed you, call your grandmother or Ginny or Remus or someone.”

Ignoring Harry’s protests, James climbed the stairs, smiling as he heard Lily singing from above.

“Oi, Evans” he called, “breakfast is ready.”

#jily #jily fanfiction #hinny #harry potter #single dad au #singledad!james #jily au #i am so nervous #ahhhhh

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missblissy · 6 years ago

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Request: @vanderlinderideordie Fandom: Red Dead Redemption Genre: fanfiction, one shot. AU, ask request Characters: Original Character, Lenny Summers, Van der Linde Gang

((This was a request for some OC x Father!Lenny interactions!! Sorry this took a bit of a wait, I’ve been busy with school!!!! I hope you enjoy it!!))

It was all a bit strange. Well, honestly it was more than that. It was odd because Lenny never thought of himself as a father. He was still just a kid himself in some ways. He was still very young, but here he was. Standing before him was one of many new people to cluttered the camp. Dadi was his name. Lenny had found himself sitting by a river that flushed through camp with the person that called him Father. His own son.

It was quiet, and a little tense. There was so much information that broke the fabrics of time. Lenny had a hard time wrapping his head around it. Honestly thinking about it gave him a bit of a headache. He shook his head slightly to usher the thoughts away.

He focused on Dadi, who was rather very quiet. He didn’t seem like someone much for words. Lenny took this moment of silence as a chance to look over the other. Dadi was tall, that was for sure, and very well built. Much more than Lenny’s own skinny arms and legs.

“I’m sorry,” The words tore Lenny from his thoughts. Dadi was sitting there with his hands folded together in his lap. He seemed troubled. He kept ringing his finger in his hands, “I feel we have made a mistake,”

Lenny raised a brow slowly, slightly confused, “A mistake?”

“I don’t think...” Dadi paused and then clenched his hands tightly, “I don’t think it was wise to come here,” Lenny stayed quiet, waiting to hear what else he had to say, “Everyone seems upset.”

They both looked over their shoulders to the camp behind them. He wasn’t wrong. The camp was definitely crowded and confused. Lenny shook his head though. He didn’t understand much how the fabric of reality worked, but he knew what a sad and tortured kid looked like.

“You said you had your reasons,” Lenny brought himself to gaze at the rivers slow flow of water. The sunlight reflected off it clumsy waves and Lenny had a moment were he remembered something from his childhood. He always wished his life was better, that he had a loving parent, a home, “Dutch understands. So does everyone else,” He finally said after a moment or two.

Dadi let out a huff, almost like he was a moody teen even though he was far older, “We’re from another dimension,” Whatever that meant, “We aren’t even really related,” Dadi sighed and Lenny could see pain flash across his face, “My real father is dead. The one that I knew? He’s gone, killed before I could even do anything,”

There was so much more laced in his words. Lenny could feel that Dadi wanted to talk some more, but he chooses silence instead. They both shared a deep breath. This was a lot harder then either of them expected. How does one talk to a kid from another universe from the future?

How do you say, Hi dad! I’m 25 years old and I’m from a whole other place from the future that doesn’t even happen! Let’s be friends!

Dadi’s thoughts kept swarming back and forth like a tidal wave. He was torn right down the middle. He was beyond elated to see his father again... But this wasn’t his father. This Lenny knew nothing about him, his mother, his friends or his life. This Lenny was barely 20 years old. He was older than his own fucking father!

He thought this would be an amazing adventure! He thought he’d have fun! Truth me be told, however, this wasn’t fun. It hurt. It hurt a lot. And it showed all over Dadi’s face. He kept biting at the inside of his cheek, trying to find a way to say, I’m sorry I wasted your time. I’ll leave.

Something happened at the moment that he’d never expect. Lenny put his hand on his shoulder, gave it a light squeeze and said, “I might not be the person you’ve been looking for, but just cause of that, it don’t mean we can’t still be friends,”

Maybe it was the fact that it was still Lenny, this was still his father. Maybe not the same one, but he looked and sounded the same. He even did the same thing as his own father. With a smile and a pat on his back, Lenny changed the subject, “What did you say you use to do? You said something about.. a different universe?”

“An alternatie universe,” Dadi corrcted.

“Yeah! That! Tell me more about that! And your friends!” He waved his hand over to the others. Dadi looked at them, he saw Quinn and Farah off in the distance. They looked like they were enjoying themselves more than him. Though a small part of his heart grew as he watched them laugh.

He turned back to Lenny and slowly started talking. He talked about his life, his childhood, his adventures, and sorrows. Dadi opened up much more than he thought he would. He felt a single blissful wisp of nostalgia. He felt like he was a kid fishing with his father again, minus the fishing. He missed his father so much, his mother too. He missed everyone and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever see them again.

Maybe this was the closest he’d get. There was no such power to reverse the times of the universe, there was no way to change fate without terrible consequences. That’s why they traveled time dimensions, not time itself.

The two of them shared a handful of laughs. Dadi chuckled quietly as he listened to Lenny bost about how great Arthur and Hosea were, “I remember this one time, Arthur pulled this nasty prank on me. Just as I was about to sit down in my chair he threw actual horse shit under me! I sat right in it! That bastard laughed his ass off and ran for the hills,”

“You’re lucky!” Dadi laughed, throwing a hand slightly as he waved off their chuckles, “I can’t die!” He joked, “I get shot for fun sometimes!” He supposed having superpowers were amazing and all, just not when your friends took advantage of that.

“Really?” Lenny took on this look of amazement, “What about them?” He jabbed a fun back towards camp, “Can any of them do anything cool?”

With a nod of his head, Dadi talked about the rest of the group, “Some of them yeah, depends on who’s asking, haha,”

“And what about me? Did I do anything special? Did I become a superhero too?”

The question wasn’t meant to hurt, but it did, “No,” Dadi remembered those days, he shook his head, “Not really. Everything was normal for a bit, we all were,”

The mood had quickly gone from pleasant to depressing. Lenny didn’t want to sit in sorrows so he stood up and looked to his son, “We should go for a ride,” He said with a smile, “I’d like to catch up with you some more,” Catch up. This was the first day they met and Lenny was treating him as if they’ve known each other their whole lives.

Dadi felt a wave of excitement rush over him. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all, “Sure,” He stood up from the log, “I’d love to.”

Before the two of them could leave their spot by the river, Lenny paused and grabbed Dadi by the arm for a second, “Hey. I know I’m not your real father, and these words might not mean as much, but I think he’d be really proud of you. I’m proud of you.”

Those words meant more than the world to him. Dadi could hear a distant voice calling from his memories. Something sparked in him and he acted without thinking. He hugged Lenny, muttering a humble but quiet, “Thank you,” All of the troubled thoughts he had before washed away in one fell swoop. He felt like he had gotten a second chance like he could start over again and this time he wouldn’t make any mistakes.

As he walked off with his father, leaving camp to enjoy a ride around the county, Dadi felt as though he had finally finished a long long journey.

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 6 years ago

Note

What other fandoms are you familiar enough with to use as an AU prompt? Pokemon Trainer AU? Homestuck AU (they'd still probably die but at least there are lots of ways to come back to life)?

I’m not that familiar with Homestuck, definitely not enough to do an AU. I read the novelizations of the Pokemon show as a kid but never saw the show or played any of the video games. I did play the super-obscure Pokemon board game, but most of my trading cards were printed in Japanese (I had a strange childhood), so my experience there is, uh, probably not quite overlapping with everyone else’s.

Anyway, if you want list of all my fandoms… Boy howdy. I don’t think I can come up with them all. However, I can list everything that comes to mind between now and ~20 minutes from now when I have to end my procrastination break and go back to dissertating. So here it is, below the cut:

Okay, there is no way in hell I’ll be able to make an exhaustive list. But off the top of my head, the fandoms I’m most familiar/comfortable with are as follows:

Authors (as in, I’ve read all or most of their books)

Patricia Briggs

Megan Whalen Turner

Michael Crichton

Marge Piercy

Stephenie Meyer

Dean Koontz

Stephen King

Neil Gaiman

K.A. Applegate

Ernest Hemingway

Tamora Pierce

Roald Dahl

Short Stories/Anthologies

A Good Man is Hard to Find, Flannery O’Connor

The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka

I Am Legend, Richard Matheson

Dubliners, James Joyce

Flowers for Algernon, Daniel Keyes

Who Goes There? John W. Campbell

The Man Who Bridged the Mist, Kij Johnson

Flatland, Edwin Abbott

I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream, Harlan Ellison

To Build a Fire, Jack London

An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, Ambrose Bier

At the Mountains of Madness/Cthulu mythos, H.P. Lovecraft

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Arthur Conan Doyle

The Things They Carried, Tim O’Brien

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Washington Irving

The Martian Chronicles, Ray Bradbury

Close Range: Wyoming Stories, E. Annie Proulx

The Curious Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Robert Louis Stevenson

Bartleby the Scrivener (and a bunch of others), Herman Melville

Books (Classics)

Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neal Hurston

The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The Secret Garden, Francis Hodgson Burnett

Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson

Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

The Secret Annex, Anne Frank

Nine Stories, J.D. Salinger

Frankenstein, Mary Shelley

Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain

East of Eden, John Steinbeck

To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison

Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut

The Stranger, Albert Camus

The Call of the Wild, Jack London

Brave New World, Aldous Huxley

Lord of the Flies, William Golding

Atonement, Ian McEwan

1984, George Orwell

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith

The Iliad/The Odyssey, Homer

Metamorphoses, Ovid

Journey to the Center of the Earth, Jules Verne

The Time-Machine, H.G. Wells

The Tempest, Much Ado About Nothing, Twelfth Night, Romeo and Juliet, Henry V, Hamlet, MacBeth, Othello, and The Taming of the Shrew, William Shakespeare

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Thomas Stoppard

Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett

Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood

Books (YA SF)

Young Wizards series, Diane Duane

Redwall, Brian Jaques

The Dark is Rising sequence, Susan Cooper

The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, Diana Wynne Jones

The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis

Abhorsen trilogy, Garth Nix

The Giver series, Lois Lowry

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

Uglies series, Scott Westerfeld

Tuck Everlasting, Natalie Babbitt

A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. Le Guin

Song of the Lioness, Tamora Pierce

A Wrinkle in Time, Madeline L’Engle

Unwind, Neal Shusterman

The Maze Runner series, James Dashner

The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Patricia C. Wrede

Sideways Stories from Wayside School, Louis Sachar

Ella Enchanted, Gail Carson Levine

Ender’s Game, Orson Scott Card

The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster

Coraline, Neil Gaiman

Among the Hidden, Margaret Peterson Haddix

The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle, Avi

Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice

Poppy series, Avi

The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd

Tithe, Holly Black

Life as We Knew It, Susan Beth Pfeffer

Blood and Chocolate, Annette Curtis Klause

Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie

The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum

Haunted, Gregory Maguire

Weetzie Bat, Francesca Lia Block

Charlotte’s Web, E.B. White

East, Edith Pattou

Z for Zachariah, Robert C. O’Brien

The Looking-Glass Wars, Frank Beddor

The Egypt Game, Zilpha Keatley Snyder

The Book Thief, Markus Zusak

Homecoming, Cynthia Voigt

Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll

The Landry News, Andrew Clements

Fever 1793, Laurie Halse Anderson

Bloody Jack, L.A. Meyer

The Boxcar Children, Gertrude Chandler Warner

A Certain Slant of Light, Laura Whitcomb

Generation Dead, Daniel Waters

Pendragon series, D.J. MacHale

Silverwing, Kenneth Oppel

Good Omens, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

Define Normal, Julie Anne Peters

Hawksong, Ameila Atwater Rhodes

Heir Apparent, Vivian Vande Velde

Running Out of Time, Margaret Peterson Haddix

The Keys to the Kingdom series, Garth Nix

The Wolves of Willoughby Chase, Joan Aiken

The Seer and the Sword, Victoria Hanley

My Side of the Mountain, Jean Craighead George

Daughters of the Moon series, Lynne Ewing

The Midwife’s Apprentice, Karen Cushman

Island of the Aunts, Eva Ibbotson

The Night Circus, Erin Morgenstern

The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm, Nancy Farmer

A Great and Terrible Beauty, Libba Bray

A School for Sorcery, E. Rose Sabin

The House with a Clock in Its Walls, John Bellairs

The Edge Chronicles, Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell

Hope was Here, Joan Bauer

Bunnicula, James Howe

Wise Child, Monica Furlong

Silent to the Bone, E.L. Konigsburg

The Twenty-One Balloons, William Pene du Bois

Dead Girls Don’t Write Letters, Gail Giles

The Supernaturalist, Eoin Colfer

Blue is for Nightmares, Laurie Faria Stolarz

Mystery of the Blue Gowned Ghost, Linda Wirkner

Wait Till Helen Comes, Mary Downing Hahn

I was a Teenage Fairy, Francesca Lia Block

City of the Beasts series, Isabelle Allende

Summerland, Michael Chabon

The Geography Club, Brent Hartinger

The Last Safe Place on Earth, Richard Peck

Liar, Justine Larbalestier

The Doll People, Ann M. Martin

The Lost Years of Merlin, T.A. Barron

Matilda Bone, Karen Cushman

Nine Stories, J.D. Salinger

The Tiger Rising, Kate DiCamillo

The Spiderwick Chronicles, Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi

In the Forests of the Night, Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

My Teacher is an Alien, Bruce Coville

The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles, Julie Andrews Edwards

Storytime, Edward Bloor

Magic Shop series, Bruce Coville

A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket

Veritas Project series, Frank Peretti

The Once and Future King, T.H. White

Raven’s Strike, Patricia Briggs

What-the-Dickens: The Story of a Rogue Tooth Fairy, Gregory Maguire

The Wind Singer, William Nicholson

Sweetblood, Pete Hautman

The Trumpet of the Swan, E.B. White

Half Magic, Edward Eager

A Ring of Endless Light, Madeline L'Engle

The Heroes of Olympus, Rick Riordan

Maximum Ride series, James Patterson

The Edge on the Sword, Rebecca Tingle

World War Z, Max Brooks

Adaline Falling Star, Mary Pope Osborne

Six of Crows, Leigh Bardugo

Children of Blood and Bone, Tomi Adeyemi

Parable of the Sower series, Octavia Butler

I, Robot, Isaac Asimov

Neuomancer, William Gibson

Dune, Frank Herbert

The Miseducation of Cameron Post, Emily M. Danforth

The Martian, Andy Weir

Skeleton Man, Joseph Bruchac

Comics/Manga

Marvel 616 (most of the major titles)

Marvel 1610/Ultimates

Persepolis

This One Summer

Nimona

Death Note

Ouran High School Host Club

Vampire Knight

Emily Carroll comics

Watchmen

Fun Home

From Hell

American Born Chinese

Smile

The Eternal Smile

The Sandman

Calvin and Hobbes

The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For

TV Shows

Fullmetal Alchemist

Avatar the Last Airbender

Teen Titans (2003)

Luke Cage/Jessica Jones/Iron Fist/Defenders/Daredevil/The Punisher

Agents of SHIELD/Agent Carter

Supernatural

Sherlock

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Angel/Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Firefly

American Horror Story

Ouran High School Host Club

Orange is the New Black

Black Sails

Stranger Things

Westworld

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Movies

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Jurassic Park/Lost World/Jurassic World/Lost Park?

The Breakfast Club

Cloverfield/10 Cloverfield Lane/The Cloverfield Paradox

Attack the Block

The Prestige

Moon

Ferris Bueler’s Day Off

Django Unchained/Kill Bill/Inglourious Basterds/Hateful 8/Pulp Fiction/etcetera

Primer

THX 1138/Akira/How I Live Now/Lost World/[anything I’ve named a fic after]

Star Wars

The Meg

A Quiet Place

Baby Driver

Mother!

Alien/Aliens/Prometheus

X-Men (et al.)

10 Things I Hate About You

The Lost Boys

Teen Wolf

Juno

Pirates of the Caribbean (et al.)

Die Hard

Most Disney classics: Toy Story, Mulan, Treasure Planet, Emperor’s New Groove, etc.

Most Pixar classics: Up, Wall-E, The Incredibles

The Matrix

Dark Knight trilogy

Halloween

Friday the 13th

A Nightmare on Elm Street

The Descent

Ghostbusters

Ocean’s Eight/11/12/13

King Kong

The Conjuring

Fantastic Four

Minority Report/Blade Runner/Adjustment Bureau/Total Recall

Fight Club

Spirited Away

Disturbing Behavior

The Faculty

Poets

Edna St. Vincent Millay

Marge Piercy

Thomas Hardy

Sigfried Sassoon

W. B. Yeats

Edgar Allan Poe

Ogden Nash

Margaret Atwood

Maya Angelou

Emily Dickinson

Matthew Dickman

Karen Skolfield

Kwame Alexander

Ellen Hopkins

Shel Silverstein

Musicals/Stage Plays

Les Miserables

Repo: The Genetic Opera

The Lion King

The Phantom of the Opera

Rent

The Prince of Egypt

Pippin

Into the Woods

A Chorus Line

Hairspray

Evita

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Fiddler on the Roof

Annie

Fun Home

Spring Awakening

Chicago

Cabaret

The Miser

The Importance of Being Earnest

South Pacific

Godspell

Wicked

The Wiz

The Wizard of Oz

Man of La Mancha

The Sound of Music

West Side Story

Matilda

Sweeney Todd

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Nunsense

You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown/Snoopy

1776

Something Rotten

A Very Potter Musical

Babes in Toyland

Carrie: The Musical

Amadeus

Annie Get Your Gun

25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

The Final Battle

Rock of Ages

Cinderella

Moulin Rouge

Honk

Labyrinth

The Secret Garden

Reefer Madness

Bang Bang You’re Dead

NSFW

War Horse

Peter Pan

Suessical

Sister Act

The Secret Annex

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Disclaimer 1: Like a lot of people who went to high school in the American South, my education in literature is pretty shamefully lacking in a lot of areas. (As in, during our African American History unit in ninth grade we read To Kill a Mockingbird, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn… and that was it. As in, our twelfth-grade US History class, I shit you not, covered Gone With the Wind.) There were a lot of good teachers in with the *ahem* Less Woke ones (how I read Their Eyes Were Watching God and The Bluest Eye) and college definitely set me on the path to trying to find books written/published outside the WASP-ier parts of the U.S., but the overall list is still embarrassingly hegemonic.

Disclaimer 2: There are a crapton of errors — typos, misspelled names, misattributions, questionable genre classifications, etc. — in here. If you genuinely have no idea what a title is supposed to be, ask me. Otherwise, please don’t bother letting me know about my mistakes.

Disclaimer 3: I am not looking for recommendations. My Goodreads “To Read” list is already a good 700 items long, and people telling me “if you like X, then you’ll love Y!” genuinely stresses me the fuck out.

Disclaimer 4: There are no unproblematic faves on this list. I love Supernatural, and I know that Supernatural is hella misogynistic. On the flip side: I don’t love The Lord of the Rings at all, partially because LOTR is hella misogynistic, but I also don’t think that should stop anyone else from loving LOTR if they’re willing to love it and also acknowledge its flaws.

#literature #fandom #booklist #about the blogger #long post #long ass post #books #nothing to do with animorphs #Anonymous #asks

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sireneia-a · 6 years ago

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me realizing there’s twenty-one playable child units in fe4 second gen and thus exactly enough to assign each one an arcana in a persona au. you know what this means kids

it’s all under the cut with attempts at explanations. i know this isn’t rlly the most relevant thing to this blog, but i’ve written metas on characters that aren’t actually muses so i’m letting it slide. fe4 spoilers will be briefly touched upon for a few characters. the explanations are specifically for how the arcana are represented in persona, but please keep in mind i’m a persona scrub kdhfkdhfdfkfd so if it ends up being only specific to character arcs from p3, my bad. i’m also sticking to the standard cards and avoiding special ones like aeon. welcome to super self-indulgent hell

i did the order by recruitment order, but here’s a link to just the order of all the characters ( sans explanations ) by the actual tarot in case you just want to see that and be done with it

Seliph: The Fool

Obligatory protagonist role getting this arcana, but the Fool is generally based around one being influenced by others. Considering how Seliph is placed in a role as a liberator as thrust upon him by the people’s expectations due to his lineage, I thought it was fitting.

Lana: Priestess

Who I imagine would be the party’s initial navigator. Regardless, getting away from the strictly Persona gameplay aspects, the Priestess is an arcana given to quieter characters who have untapped potential. I generally just think Lana has the vibe for this as opposed to an actual reason.

Larcei: Temperance

This is one of the leftover ones admittedly. Temperance deals with an inability to balance one’s various life aspects. Larcei tends to be portrayed in adaptations as struggling between her combat as well as her love life, and she’s typically unlucky in the latter.

Ulster: Star

I love you Ulster, but he ended up also being one of the leftover ones as well. The Star is associated with hope and joy. There’s actually a pretty cool quote about this one in terms of bestowing help to others in their time of need but eventually being doomed to fall. Ulster is depicted as being protective of the others ( namely in Seliph’s childhood friend squad ) and is compassionate as well as a big brother type, thus I thought he matched up enough with the idea of bestowing help unto others.

Diarmuid: Strength

The Strength arcana in the Persona universe typically explores characters who have a strength of heart in order to keep going past hardships. Though almost everyone in gen 2 experiences tragedy and tries to overcome it, Diarmuid’s separation from his mother and then his consequent journey through Yied to reunite with his family stuck out to me. Additionally, he always seemed to have a good head on his shoulders even when given bad news in fe5 should you let Nanna fall in battle before he joins Leif’s party.

Lester: Sun

The Sun arcana directly deals with happiness, typically revolving around characters who are faced with miserable situations yet still try and be optimistic; alternatively, the character has lost their initial happiness. A really cool arcana in terms of character arcs, and Lester got it not because I thought it fit him, but because he was literally my last option and I thought the Sun arcana would fit him more than some other remaining ones, and a lot of the characters at this point I was dead set on keeping them locked in to the ones I chose for them. I initially gave this arcana to Lene.

I’d love to meet someone whose fav is Lester sdkhkddf I feel so bad that I don’t have a lot in terms of analysis on him.

Julia: Fortune

The one I knew I’d want the most for this arcana right away: the Fortune arcana revolves entirely around fate. The characters usually have to make a large decision and strive to seize their own destiny. Julia and Julius both have their births completely orchestrated for the sole purpose of furthering the Lopt Sect’s goals, their fates determined by their bloodlines. Julia rises up from what originally seemed like a helpless situation to being the one to restore peace to Jugdral herself. I literally can’t imagine anybody else, sans Julius, who could fit this arcana better out of the second gen cast.

Fee: Chariot

The Chariot arcana places an emphasis on striving towards a goal, holding a determined and willful spirit. Fee is another character I knew I instantly wanted for a specific arcana, as she’s fixated on finding her missing father-- especially when you take FE5 canon into mind and make her father Lewyn. She embodies both the arc ( willing to accomplish her goal no matter what ) but also the personality associated with the arcana.

Arthur: Magician

For starters, giving this arcana to an actual mage is so satisfying. In any case, the arcana is associated with somebody who takes more of a secondary role to the protagonist but still has their own ego. Additionally, great tragedy befalls and motivates the character-- though typically it’s romance-related in terms of arcs, but I ended up omitting that for this. Arthur is a character who exudes confidence, something that Fee suspects might not be well-deserved when they bicker, and his call to action revolves around his desire to reunite with his family. He’s aware terrible things befell his mother and sister and is terribly protective of his sister as a result. Tine honestly might get the shortest end of the stick out of the second gen cast in terms of horrible fates.

The LI manga adaptation also depicts Arthur as a shameless flirt that is a bit of a pervert, which also helps just strengthen the tie between him and the typical archetype for the Magician arcana character in the Persona series.

Iuchar: Moon

Even though you can’t recruit both of the Neir brothers in one run, I’m giving them different arcanas since I personally think that their character arcs in-game are different enough to warrant it and it gets me up to my perfect twenty-one number.

The Moon arcana revolves around illusions and typically involves a character seeing reality not as how it is, some going so far as to blame themself for something that isn’t true. My analysis on Iuchar touches upon the idea that he’s putting up his carefree personality as an act to be able to more easily show kindness upon Isaachians without arousing suspicion from his family; additionally, it talks about the idea that Iuchar blames himself for everything his family has done under the Empire and asks for forgiveness sincerely, not understanding how Seliph sees that Iuchar is blameless and that even if he wasn’t, the people love him already. Iuchar simply can’t see that reality. Though him being the actual canonically flirty character is a good argument to assign him the Magician arcana, I ultimately personally see the Moon arcana as more fitting for him.

Iucharba: Death

The Death arcana is about life cycles and predominantly characters undergoing a great change. Iucharba is a character I personally note for not really being taken seriously by his family as noted in this meta and he undergoes a great transformation throughout the events of Genealogy should you recruit him as a result. He begins as a young man allied with the Empire, a man sorely underestimated plenty, and he ends up developing into this character that suddenly is the heir to the Neir bloodline and consequently is now actually in a position of power within Grannvale-- a position he was nowhere near getting before defecting. Also not really necessary for this arcana, but the fact that you can only recruit him at the cost of killing his brother helps put a literal death association.

Patty: Devil

I actually originally had Patty assigned to the Lovers arcana, but I think this is fitting enough too. The Devil arcana typically deals with characters who commit immoral actions and have difficulty telling that what they’re doing is wrong. They’re led by impulse and temptation but they are also typically dedicated to a cause. Patty is a thief who steals to procure funds for the orphans her and her brother look after. Her compassion is her commitment and though she’s aware what she’s doing is shady, she still believes herself to be partly in the right because those she steals from are terrible people as well. She’s a more mature Dew in a sense. She’s not a perfect fit for the Devil arcana, but she fits it the most out of all the second gen.

Leif: Justice

Leif honestly probably could’ve fit a few, but I decided the Justice arcana is most suitable; the characters associated with this arcana typically are concerned with fairness and can be pretty stoic. Leif’s obsessed with enacting vengeance-- a theme that is just a breath away from justice. He’s the character I think of most in Jugdral that cares the most about karma and seeing people get what they deserve. Additionally, he fits the personality trend in how he attempts ( keyword: attempt ) to suppress his feelings.

Nanna: Empress

The Empress arcana is given to elegant women in high positions of authority. They’re typically a little on the cold side but hold compassion ( perhaps in a sort of motherly fashion ) for others underneath all of that. The second gen are almost all royalty or nobility of some degree, but Nanna especially came off as a princess to me the most out of all the characters. Additionally, God her JP voice actress really nails that refined aura. Nanna’s personality in my opinion also matches the trend in how she can be a little curt ( namely to Finn should he be her father as well as to Homer in his recruitment conversation ) but she ultimately is heralded for being kind and supportive by Leif.

Also gameplay-wise, the Empress personas typically end up having healing skills, and Nanna’s class as troubadour plays into this too.

Ares: Hierophant

Another character I was certain of what arcana I wished to assign them from the start, though I feel like a lot of people would think of different cards than I did. The Hierophant characters typically are fixated on the past and need to learn how to move on from that. Ares’s arc literally revolves around how he’s obsessed with killing Seliph to enact revenge for ( what he believes to be ) Sigurd killing Eldigan. Even Lene attempts to get Ares to stop being tied down to the past and to accept the present and the future.

Lene: Lovers

I went into this really wanting Lene to be assigned to the Sun as mentioned previously but ended up changing her to the Lovers which works out too. The Lovers character is usually someone who is popular and they’re tied between two conflicting aspects of themself. Lene is friendly and charismatic both due to her personality as well as her line of work, and her character explores her maturity as Ares’s confidant in opposition to how she’s fixated on finding her mother no matter what-- something that can be interpreted as a childish fantasy that’s hopeless considering how little of information she has to go on. Additionally, the Lovers personas gameplay-wise are usually healers and associated with wind magic, and though that doesn’t quite fit Lene, it coincides with it enough what with her being a support unit primarily and also both her cipher and her heroes art associating breezes with her.

Tine: Judgement

Judgement arcs explore characters realizing their true calling and gaining absolution and acceptance. Tine is initially allied under the Empire due to her connection to the Friege family, and she lived a very stifling existence until she defects. She’s uncertain exactly what she’s doing as well as who’s “right” at the time that she takes to the battlefield but she comes to realize that Seliph’s liberation army has good intentions. The truth that seemed so muddied before becomes so much clearer by the end. She also is another character who asks for forgiveness from Seliph and ends up being wholly surprised by how easily he gives her it. I feel like this implies that desire for absolution her entire life and it’s over the course of the war that she’s able to feel comfortable in her own skin and voice out her own wishes.

Febail: Tower

Ah, yes, the Edge Lord card. Regardless, the Tower arcana deals with bad omens and doom and destruction. The characters associated with this card are typically characters who have fallen from grace. Febail is unknowingly the prince of Jungby, one of the few playable second gen units guaranteed major holy blood, but he lives his life struggling in an orphanage and as a mercenary who will take any job so long as it gives him the money to provide for the other orphans. He loses sight of his own morality, needing to be reprimanded by his sister that his attempt to slay Seliph isn’t actually going to end in his goal of prosperity for the kids. Though all the kids have taken a tumble in life, I genuinely think Febail captures this concept the best.

Ced: Emperor

If there’s literally any character I think could actually translate super well into a Persona verse more seriously beyond just me assigning arcanas, I honestly think it’d be Ced. Anyhow, the Emperor arcana holds characters who desire to control their environment even if fate gives them trouble in attempting to do so, and the characters typically are suffering from a personal issue that they do not know how to tackle. Ced is a mage who goes out of his way to find his father and along the way, brought on by his own conviction, establishes the Magi Squad to try and help the people suffering in Manster from oppression underneath the Empire. That active role reflects the arcana very well in my eyes, and Ced’s personal conflict with Lewyn as a neglectful father as per FE5′s canon seals the deal.

Coirpre: Hermit

Hermit wasn’t my first pick for Coirpre as an individual character, but I gave him it pretty quickly after I thought about the entire second gen cast collectively as opposed to just standalone cases. I think Coirpre would most likely end up as the second, more powerful navigator character to recruit especially with his ties to the Bragi bloodline and the canonical Bragi connection to prophetic truth.

Coirpre doesn’t have the strongest connection to his arcana, but the Hermit arcana characters typically put themselves in situations where they are hiding away from the spotlight and others. As such, these characters are usually more in background or supportive roles in life. Coirpre is a healer in an extremely militant country, a larger anomaly considering the fact that his father is the Shield of Thracia-- a famed general. Coirpre, upon being locked away as a hostage, adamantly requests to be let go because he doesn’t wish for his father to be forced to fight; he seeks a more discreet way to solve the issue befitting of the arcana and ultimately sought out a calmer solution. Judging by his minor involvement in FE5, he also is more neutral typically in terms of alignment, not caring much for whether or not Leif was a runaway prince but also not offering to join him unlike the other FE4 characters who show up in the midquel. Coirpre keeps himself on the down low until he’s freed by the liberation army and realizes his father and he need to take a stance against the Empire more actively.

Altena: Hanged Man

The Hanged Man arcana explores characters who undergo arcs where they are caught between two extremes or two parties in their life. Altena encompasses this idea best in how she is troubled by her loyalty to southern Thracia due to being raised as its princess and her true lineage as Leonster’s princess. She is at odds due to this conflict, what with both parties being at opposite ends of the battlefield from one another and she’s forced to make a choice between her adopted brother and her blood brother.

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swanisms · 8 years ago

Text

when you last left me my blood was in a jar | (1/1)

and you kept it on your mantlepiece

She must be doing something wrong that her son thinks the best way to go about proving his fairytale identity is to steal a sword. She must be doing something wrong to indulge this.

Given everything that Storybrooke and this storybook has thrown her way, it must be wrong that Killian being Captain Hook isn’t the worst option.

notes: love it when i’m just scrolling my dash, minding my own business, and a silly prompt shows up and my brain fires in the completely wrong direction where “MY KID SHOPLIFTED FROM YOUR STORE AND I MARCHED HER BACK HERE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU AU” becomes nearly 6k of a s1 cursed hook au. anyways, glad that i apparently still know how to put words on a page in something resembling a story, hope you enjoy!

also on ao3

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice the sword?”

“It’s not a sword,” Henry grumbles. There’s no masking the disappointment of a ten year old child, and Henry’s mastered the pout. Emma’s not falling for it today. There’s letting him join her for a cup of hot cocoa at the diner when he’s already late for getting...to Regina. But letting him pocket a -

“What is it then?” Emma asks.

Henry simply says, “A replica of Excalibur.”

“The Knights of the Round Table that hard up for money? Franchising a magic sword?”

Henry shakes his head, in that way he does where he sees her sarcasm as something to power through rather than acknowledge. He’s remarkably good at that, too, because when he replies, “No. Emma, you were supposed to read the book,” she actually feels guilty.

“Yeah...yeah, I did. Refresh me though?”

Henry sees her for a liar, liar pants on fire, but he’s mature enough not to say it and Emma’s immature enough to near smile when she looks up at the telephone wire above them.

“You know Arthur pulled the sword from the stone, right?” Emma nods. She saw the movie. “Everyone knows that...but after he pulled out Excalibur, he realized that he couldn’t use it.” He hushes her next question with a look, so Emma decides to simply listen. “It wasn’t that it was too heavy or that he was a bad swordsman. It just didn’t work for him. Sure, it made everyone believe that Camelot would finally become great again, but it wasn’t magic. It didn’t feel like anything but a normal sword in his hands. He know for certain that this sword had superpowers, and he couldn’t understand why it felt so powerless. He was obsessed with trying to find a way to unlock its power. So, he barely paid attention to being a king and ruling a kingdom, and Guinevere...she was lonely.”

Emma bites at her lip. Infidelity isn’t exactly PG, and she wonders what else she didn’t read in this book. What else her kid is way too knowledgeable of. It isn’t like she wants to be the one to talk to him about the birds and the bees – in all likelihood, that will never be an option and she doesn’t even know if she wants it to be one, not really sure of anything anymore. Still, she doesn’t think its best that he learn about sex through a book of fairytales. If Harlequin writers can’t get it right when erotica is their freaking job, she shudders at how this book might tell it.

Henry elbows her, and once he has her attention, he continues, “And Lancelot, he loved his friends. Arthur was his best friend, and Guinevere was his favourite person in the entire world. He wanted to help them, and when Guinevere used this magic gauntlet to find Arthur’s heart’s desire, she and Lancelot set out to find it and bring it back to him.”

“Oh.”

She really wasn’t expecting that, but fairytales, right. Lonely people trying to reconnect with their significant others rather than find someone else is the dream.

“They thought it’d be fast, but the journey took them across the whole of Camelot. They spent weeks travelling from town to town. They got to know all these people. They saw the way they lived. Some people struggled and others did pretty well, and they were like ‘When we get home, we’re totally going to do all these things to make it better.’ It took them forever really, and suddenly it was Guinevere’s birthday. Arthur promised her that when he became king, the whole of Camelot would be covered in Middlemist flowers to celebrate it. When she didn’t see any, she told Lancelot it was a silly promise that children make, but he said, that it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be kept, and he took her through the woods until they came upon a field full of them. It was beautiful, and that’s when Guinevere realized why Excalibur wasn’t working for Arthur. Excalibur couldn’t make Camelot a true kingdom. It isn’t a magic sword that just fixes everything. It’s magical because it’s a promise to work together to make things better. Arthur didn’t keep that promise because he was too obsessed with finding its magic.”

Quickly, Henry added, “And of course she and Lancelot kissed, but they said that was it, and both went home to Arthur to tell him this. About Excalibur, not the kiss.”

Emma finally interjects, amused by Henry’s obvious discomfort, “I take it that didn’t work.”

“No, Arthur was so angry that they just left, and he wouldn’t listen to them. He didn’t believe that they’d done this for him. He just thought that they were trying to undermine him. He yelled at Lancelot for being in love with Guinevere and he tried to kill his best friend! And he tried to control Guinevere with magic! He was so crazy. They stopped him, but when everyone found out, they were heartbroken. They thought that Merlin was a liar and that Camelot would always be terrible, but with Lancelot’s help, Guinevere gathered them and told them what she’d learned about Excalibur. She lifted the sword to try and make them see and when she did, its shape changed and it became this sword that she could actually use without breaking her arm. She unlocked its magic, and she saved Camelot.”

Emma nods, “So Guinevere’s the one true king? But then shouldn’t she have been the one supposed to pull the sword from the stone?”

“No!” Henry denies vehemently - Don’t you get it? - Emma very much doesn’t so she lets him explain, “Merlin said Arthur would pull the sword from the stone and become king, but he never said he would stay king. He never said that he’d be a good king.”

Emma gets it now, and she says so.

“Arthur sucks.”

“He’s the worst,” Henry agrees.

“Worse than the Evil Queen?” Emma asks - and not because there’s that petty part of her that wants to hear Henry disparage Regina, but because there’s that big part of her that, despite everything she’s seen, wants to believe that Regina isn’t this person and that she didn’t consign her son to this. She wants to believe that Regina was better before, she can be better, and Emma was right to send him away to have a family she could never give him.

She never wanted him to be as broken as her.

Henry frowns deeply, looking down at the replica sword.

“No.”

Her heart breaks, but that’s normal. Disney got it wrong, leaving Arthur and marrying Lancelot was the best decision Guinevere ever made, Excalibur looks like a needle, and with every story he reads from that book, all Henry does is prove that fairytales are bullshit. Here he is, trying to convince her that all these stories are true, but who wants to believe that these characters lives are just as awful as theirs? That their happy endings could be taken away just like that; one moment you’re dreaming of that happily ever after with your one true love and the next -

You’re letting your son go because that kind of love was never meant for you to have.

Henry prods Emma out of her thoughts, elbowing her as he says, “So, I have to give it back?”

And he drives her into other thoughts that are just as comforting. She looks down at him and his barely hidden smile. No thief should ever look so happy about having to return to the scene of the crime. Emma doesn’t want her suspicions confirmed, but she has no choice.

“Give it back to who exactly?”

Emma doesn’t need to be good at seeing through people to see that Henry was looking forward to this reveal.

“Captain Hook.”

Emma groans, and snatching the weapon out of Henry’s hand - truly, the little backstabber dragging her back to the man she’s made it explicitly clear that she’s only too happy to avoid. Forever. Like trapped in Neverland forever.

“Mr. Jones,” Emma emphasizes as Henry leads the way to his shop, “is not someone you should be stealing from.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to steal from anyone,” Henry points out.

Emma scrunches up in annoyance, and says firmly, “Some people are more forgiving. He doesn’t seem like the type.”

“He likes me,” Henry says, and sneakily, even though her kid is not sneaky, he adds, “He likes you.”

“He does not,” Emma says. “He likes messing with me.”

“I think he just wants to be your friend,” Henry says.

The innocence of youth, to not see the redness in her face as anything other than annoyance. Killian Jones does not want to be her friend. He wants the benefits of friendship. In both those terms. Getting in good with the Sheriff is only common sense with criminal elements, and getting in good with her? He’s made it quite clear that it would benefit the both of them.

She really would like to deny that last point, but it’s been a frustrating few months and running around from one insane predicament to the next does a lot, but not nearly enough.

And really, those little moments that she’s been trying to avoid do way too much. She casts her eyes to her son’s determined pace towards Killian’s shop, the little backstabber -

“Let’s just get his sword back to him.”

Henry turns back to her with a big grin.

“Sure!”

Killian’s shop comes up all too fast, and okay, maybe fast is a good thing. Fast means getting this over with. Still, she sighs watching Henry wrench open the door so hard that it makes the entrance bell chime loud enough that there’s no way Killian wouldn’t hear it.

Following Henry inside, she catches sight of Killian immediately as he steps out from a dark corner of the shop. His eyes find hers, and he lights up, no other way to put it - except maybe that he does that ‘I’m dark and dangerous and I really want to be your friend’ swagger towards her.

She’s glad Henry steps between them, if only because it steals his interested gaze, and Emma doesn’t have to pointedly stare at his neck to keep him from using her line of sight against her. Also because she doesn’t want to have to fight herself to stare at his neck when his collarbones are in view.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he directs at Henry, but his eyes flicker up to Emma at the last bit.

Subtlety isn’t a skill of ten year old boys or thirty year old men. Who’d’ve thought?

“Henry decided to pull the sword from the stone,” she says, lifting the replica in sight. “We both decided that it was a good idea to put it back.”

Killian nods, kneeling to Henry’s height to say, “Swordsmanship is an art that one doesn’t just pick up in day. You don’t start with the blade. That, lad, is an excellent way to lose a hand.”

Emma closes her eyes, tilting her head to the sky in a silent plea to the ceiling to fall in. Not on any of them, but just enough that they can call Leroy in here to make sure that she won’t have to endure this longer than necessary.

“Is that how you lost yours?” Henry asks excitedly.

Killian grins. “You’re a clever lad.” He lifts his gaze to Emma as he says, “You truly take after your mother.”

Henry turns to look at her as well, grinning in that way that makes Emma believe, and says simply, surely, absolutely certainly, “I know.”

“But,” he adds, drawing out the word, “I have to go meet my -” He furrows his brow, scrunching his face in thought before finishing, “Other mom now.” He pouts guiltily. “I’m already in trouble. I shouldn’t be late.”

Running over to Emma, he briefly wraps her in a tight hug and says, “We’ll continue the operation tomorrow. You can tell me all about what you find.”

It takes Emma a beat, enough time for Henry to swing open the door and run out the shop, for her to realize what he’s referring to.

He wants her to prove that Killian is Captain Hook.

Oh boy, she’s going to have to disappoint. She turns to follow him out, but Killian calls out to her, “I believe you have something that belongs to me.”

He offers his hand and for a brief, insane moment, Emma thinks that he’s referring to her. She has all the words of protest at the tip of her tongue when he nods towards her hand and she realizes she’s still holding the sword.

“Right,” she says, hoping beyond hope that the quaver in her voice is all in her head and not being catalogued in his list of ‘Reactions Emma Swan Has Had to Me That Imply She Actually Does Like Me.’

Swiftly, she places the sword hilt-side up in his hand. Her fingers brush his palm for a fraction of a second, but she looks at him at that exact moment and doesn’t miss the quirk of a smile, the passing of heat in that light touch - the flare of heat in her belly, that traitor.

Ignoring her body being an asshole, she says, “Thanks for, you know,” She shrugs at his bewildered response, “Not pressing charges against my kid.”

“I know how corruption runs rampant in law enforcement. I doubt anything would come of it,” Killian teases.

It well and truly misses the mark. Having spent time working with both the NYPD and BPD, and her brief encounters with other police forces when she’s caught her jumpers across state lines, Emma knows how true that is.

Killian notices her stiffen; he doesn’t miss much. Emma hates it, especially when his expression softens, apologetic in his understanding of her.

“I would never do such a thing. I’m not a cruel man,” he says quietly.

Emma catches how it’s something like a lie, something like he doesn’t believe his own words even though he wants to.

She knows that feeling.

Thankfully, she doesn’t have to acknowledge it when he adds, “And I would never fault him for wanting to indulge in a little piracy.”

Emma shakes her head, a small disbelieving smile taking her lips at his smirk, and can’t resist replying, “It is thievery.”

“Pirates and thieves, one and the same.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but we are standing on land, and don’t hit me with any sea of molten lava deep beneath the surface. It’s thievery.”

“I’m not certain why you’re insisting on labelling your son a criminal,” Killian says with a too amused grin.

She steps towards him, and he turns, taking the sword towards the counter, so she follows him because a turned back does not mean he’s won this.

“You’re the one calling him a pirate,” Emma says.

Whispers “fuck,” because she’s whining. Jesus, she’s whining and she’s letting this get too far. Maybe he has won.

“Fuck.”

Sword placed on the counter, Killian turns to face her again and she rocks back on her heels unsteadily, followed him much closer than she meant to.

“Actually, he’s the one calling me one.”

Emma frowns, argument gone as she’s reminded of Henry’s intention in bringing her here: to discover the truth for herself. Killian’s truth.

She looks past him, gaze tracking over his shop - and that, it sticks, ill-fitting in her head. This shop doesn’t feel like his. The thought is stupid, really, but it feels like he’s tried to fit himself into the space of someone else. Someone that he doesn’t particularly like, given the state of the shop.

She noticed that first time she came here, demanding to know why he had Kathryn and David’s windmill in his shop, and he’d shrugged like it wasn’t anything important. He’d just picked it up. It was there, and then he let it go. Something so important was nothing more than a thing passing through his life when it had - when she’d had to swallow down the thought that it had ruined her friend’s life when David had only been a part of it for a minute, or Once Upon a Time, somewhere far removed from the reality that Mary Margaret had gotten herself infatuated with a married man. She’d fallen down a road that Emma knew all too well, and it was her fault. Because she’d convinced her to entertain Henry’s story, pressed to believe only for show and Mary Margaret believed.

“You are a pawnbroker. Other people’s things are kind of your inventory,” Emma says.

He shrugs.

“These aren’t my trophies.”

Whose are they?

Emma stills the question on her tongue, and steps away from him to get a good look of the shop. She follows this counter around to the next, and even though his steps don’t follow hers, she feels him right behind her - his gaze almost as heated as the thought of pressing her body to his. A thought she has had a lot. Is having right now, apparently, because he’s looking at her and eye-fucking is kind of a thing he’s good at.

But –

She forges past that to focus on the shelves of objects as ridiculously mundane as an old record player and a Walkman with a Spice Girls sticker on the front, and as strange as wands in protective glass cases, a pack of tarot cards ink in colours that don’t seem real, and a genie’s lamp pulled straight out of Aladdin.

Then there’s the hand in the jar.

‘What the fuck?’ isn’t her first thought because there’s a goddamn hand in the jar, but because it’s Killian’s. Why the ever-loving fuck that is her first thought she can’t even fathom a reason for, besides that she’s read too many pages in that storybook.

She stiffens at the press of his hand to her shoulder, as he steps up behind her, beside her, and finally turning slightly to have both her and the hand in his view.

With a lifeless smile, Killian says, “The previous owner had quite the sense of humor. He left that for me as a -” He pauses, stretching out his handless arm so that she gets it when he says, “Parting gift.”

She sighs. “More hand jokes? Really?”

He can’t help himself from self-deprecating, from pointing it out before anyone else does, of turning his loss into a threat to anyone trying to use it against him because he’ll use it first.

Killian smiles and shrugs, and this smile is the same as before. It doesn’t reach his eyes, but it sinks beneath his skin, where she can’t see – probably the same place she keeps hers, in the hollows of her heart.

She shouldn’t at all.

Maybe she really should.

Emma reaches for him. Her touch makes Killian pause, right before that moment where he curtains himself, and it’s with a clarity that she sees the haunting in his eyes, a darkness she really shouldn’t let herself touch, but she did, she is, and -

She swallows as he waits, frozen in that expression. Gods, she has no idea what he’s waiting for, like he’s been waiting forever. For her to pull away. For her to pull him with her.

“Light!” she blurts.

Killian’s expression shifts, and she shouldn’t sigh in relief for the bemused look, but it’s easier to handle than everything she just saw.

Searching for a way to not sound completely stupid, she says, “This place could really do with some more light if you want to attract any customers.”

She nods, satisfied as much as she can be. She is right. This place is way too dark. It feels a bit like a lair. Or a prison. Both, maybe.

His eyebrow lifts, his face deepening its confusion, and she sighs because this is something he doesn’t get. He understands enough to catch her at her weakest –

“You don’t want to abandon him the way you were abandoned.” Meeting the steel in her gaze with one of his own. “So, don’t.” –

He knows how to throw her back on her feet.

Killian understands enough to have her running. She really has been avoiding him since them, and doing a spectacular job of it, too, but now she’s stepping into him, close enough that he’s pressed against her as she looks for something to prove her point because this idiot can understand too many things but not how to light a shop, apparently.

She finds it. A fake flower that looks real, and not like something preserved to fit into a portrait to hang on a wall. It looks like it’s just been picked. Beautiful white petals curling towards its bright green stem.

Flowers are pretty, but beyond that, they’re just flowers. It’s not something she gets hyped for, but there’s a rush in her voice that can’t be explained by anything she’s felt before as she says, finger pointing at it through the glass, “That would totally sell.”

He settles in behind her, looking over her shoulder at the flower beneath her finger. Her breaths go unsteady as he murmurs, breath warm and making her shiver, “Are you looking to buy?”

She shakes her head swiftly, pushing out of their embrace.

Somehow it doesn’t feel like that motion has broken them apart at all.

“No. I’m not.”

Emma turns to face him, about to repeat herself when he offers a smile that’s been nothing like the others he’s given her today. No pure flirtation, no teasing or amusement, no masking, just a smile of genuine happiness.

Genuinely happy.

“Then it shall be a gift.”

She lifts her hands, self-defense second nature, and she hates that she has to defend herself against bringing out a smile - because smiles like that can only lead to trouble. The fluttering in her stomach has nothing to do with frustration, and she hates that she can even acknowledge that.

“No, nope,” she says.

“For the business advice,” he offers, his smile a little more recognizable, but no less difficult to handle. Killian understands her (and not normal business practices, of course, makes sense.) She won’t take anything that first smile offers, but this she can take.

Logical, really.

But not really at all because an installation of lights isn’t exactly a stroke of genius, and it’s not like he’s cared to do this before and there’s no particular reason why he should care now.

(No reason she should be the one to make him care.)

Killian moves behind the counter, pulls out a key from a pocket that she didn’t even know he had. His clothes are ridiculous. Either it’s the leather jacket with the inner pockets deep enough to hold a large (full and gladly shared) flask, or these skinny jeans that don’t look like they could hold anything at all without her seeing the outline of them in his pockets, and yet she missed that.

Granted, she hasn’t let her eyes drift beneath his torso up until this point, and granted that she’s of enough sense of self to let them linger.

“Here you go, love,” he says. Even as he does, he doesn’t expect her to walk over, coming out behind the counter to offer the flower to her himself.

Emma opens her palm for it, and his touch is gentle as he presses it into her grasp. Red’s flooding her cheeks, but more so, her chest feels like she’s doused herself in Vicks, and without the smell to distract, all she feels is the path of heat beneath her skin, leading to places she doesn’t want warmed.

She doesn’t want to feel anything at all, but she shifts the flower into the other hand so she can drag her fingers over it, and gasps in surprise.

“It’s real,” she says.

“Of course it is,” he replies, smile amused.

“What? How?”

“Magic,” he offers.

She doesn’t like the way he says it. Like it’s true. Like it’s a truth he hates, and yet, Killian looks at her like he doesn’t hate it that much at all.

Emma should’ve left when Henry did, for all this encounter has done to her head. Messed with it. He likes messing with her. He likes her.

Flight kicks in, and she says, “Thanks. I have to -”

“Go,” he finishes.

She nods and turns away, her gaze catching on the shelves of objects and there they settle again on that jarred hand. The flower is so soft beneath her fingers. Cold, though. Too cold.

Emma bites her lip, pausing yet again.

“Some more advice?”

Killian lifts a brow in amusement. “Should I paint the walls? Hang some new shelves?”

“The hand should go, too.”

He stiffens again, clearly searching her face from some sort of understanding. She doesn’t think she’s confused him this much since their first meeting, when, after stumbling into her (or she’d stumbled into him, realizing all she’d had in her car by way of clothes were two tank tops and a pair of jeans and stomped away in frustration) he’d murmured, “Are you real, lass?”

She’d jumped at the question, hackles raising. “Of course I’m real. Are you drunk?” was her swift response to the light smell of alcohol cloaking him, and he’d confirmed her assessment with a deep nod, “Aye, I am. And you are,” his gaze roving over her in wonder, “Quite real.”

It’s weird because she feels like Killian should understand the way her hand inches up to her neck, fingers brushing the chain. It’s been there for so long, but she hasn’t given it conscious thought in so long. Yet, it’s been on her mind too much lately. That necklace Neal gave her feels as painful as the day she put it on, and it isn’t because she sees Henry and thinks of him, although she does because he looks like him and has that same mischief that Emma loved, and still loves.

But it hurts, how she’s holding onto this reminder of everything that told her she couldn’t do this, she couldn’t have this, and she should never want to - when she’s so scared of how things will turn out with Henry now that she’s in his life, and she can acknowledge that he’s in her heart, her love for him the softest thing that’s ever found its home there.

It hurts because she’s more scared of holding onto this reminder of every reason why she can’t when she suspects that she’s actually starting to believe that she can.

But Killian can’t know that, all the intimate details of her rocky past and all the thoughts floating in her head and the feelings in her heart, when she’s been making sure that he can’t.

It isn’t like Emma knows him either - no matter that there are pages in Henry’s book detailing how Captain Hook lost his hand and his love, and how his revenge led him to Neverland and not that Neverland created it. She doesn’t know Killian Jones beyond a story her son believes, and these moments they’ve had, sharing a flask at the docks, a quipped remark here and there, and flirting every time they meet, whether he’s walking out the doors of the Mayor’s office, or while he’s in heated conversation with Dr. Whale, or after he’s finished antagonizing David on Main Street. Plus, he bears a fondness for the Sheriff’s Office that she bears with zero grace.

She doesn’t know him; he doesn’t know her, but she understands.

“You should get rid of it,” she says, and offers a raised eyebrow of her own and a scoffed question, “What does Captain Hook need with another hand anyway?”

“Yes...Aye.”

He quiets, and his gaze follows the trail her hand leaves when she pulls it away from the necklace weighing at her neck and cups her hands over the flower. Her hands are warm, but it doesn’t feel like it’s wilting in the slightest. It’s cold against her fingers, just short of the bite of winter, the air after a fresh fall of snow.

Killian follows the lift of her ducked head, the press of her lips. Emma finds them dry, and licks out at them, and he follows that motion, too. He follows her movements with a focus she doesn’t know how to match.

But she’s watching him, too, so maybe that’s the same given the circumstances, when she should’ve walked out the door the moment she came in.

She should have…

Killian’s confusion slowly gives way to a wonder unlike the one before.

“Why does Hook need a hand indeed?”

Any other time, she’d expect him to smirk, offer himself to her just so she could deny him. The familiar game. But right now, she isn’t playing at that. She isn’t playing at all. Maybe there’s something to the wonder – the revelation in his eyes because she’s never felt barer than she does right now.

Someone knocks at the door of his shop, and it startles. Confusing. Why would anyone need to knock?

“Mr. Jones, I…”

She whips around to face the newcomer, a portly man she’s seen before when he’s definitely been up to no good by the way he stutters, “Sheriff Swan! You’re…”

Emma saves him his breath because it sounds like he needs it.

“Leaving.”

She shifts back to Killian, but whatever she saw moments before is completely gone. He looks more shadowed now than he did when he’d stepped out of the dark corner of his shop.

“Thanks again and just remember –” Remember what? This? Everything this conversation has been? What has it been?

“Add more lights?”

She doesn’t mean the question, except that she has too many.

“Shall do, Sheriff,” he replies.

There’s nothing more to say to that so she steps past the man and out into the sunny day. The door shuts behind her, and she frowns at it.

But there’s nothing more to do except go about what she’s been doing. Train her focus back to - she groans as she pulls her phone out her pocket, a struggled motion to keep the flower uncrushed while checking the screen.

She’s late to being on call.

The flower first goes on top of her desk, but it doesn’t feel safe - she’s worrying about the safety of a flower, what the fuck. It goes into her desk, but that feels wrong, and she starts to rationalize these irrationalities. It’ll get crushed in her pocket. She can’t just put it anywhere where it can get crushed, lost, stolen. That last one occurs to her after she looks at old case files and catches a report of a break in at the flower shop.

The best option becomes her dashboard, in the empty box of her new phone charger, bought at a price only reasonable in a small town with no other competition, and no other options. Amazon apparently does not deliver to Storybrooke, Maine.

It’s the curse, Henry would say.

It is a curse, definitely.

A few days pass with the flower in her car, and (irrationally) she checks every time she gets in, expecting disaster. It’s always as perfectly preserved as before. Just as alive.

It’s either goddamn magic or just the coolest trick anyone’s ever pulled off.

She’s leaning towards (the former, really, but she hates that, it’s completely insane so she tells herself it’s) the latter.

Emma doesn’t mention it. Not that it’s something worth mentioning, or something she should mention, but just...yeah is all she can say. She doesn’t understand it really at all. It’s just a feeling that keeps it a secret, protected within her twice-stolen car.

Inevitably, today Henry pops open the dash to access a pen and yells, “Where did you get that?”

Emma rubs at her ears, his yell more akin to a pitch that she won’t mention to him, to protect his pride.

“Calm down, kid. It’s just -” She looks at the flower as he lifts it delicately from the box, marveling at it. Swallowing around that feeling she can’t voice, she says, “Killian gave it to me because I gave him some advice.”

“Whoa,” Henry says, wide eyes on her. “He gave you that?”

His expression tightens, fierce thought in his eyes. His brain is working to the max. Not always a good sign. Never a sign her day is going to remain nice and quiet.

“Yeah. What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Emma, didn’t you read the whole book?” Henry accuses.

Embarrassed and guilty as charged (again), Emma says, “I read the important stories!”

“All of them are important,” Henry insists. Holding the flower up to her, he says, “Especially this one. The Dark One Rumplestiltskin tricked a woman into trading it to him to save her son. It’s protects you from all dark magic and it brings good luck. Of course, he wanted it to protect him from the Bog Witch’s curse - though it didn’t work for him because he is dark magic so he just kept it so no one could use it against him but…” Henry’s voice softens as he searches for an answer to his offered question. “Why would Captain Hook have that?”

A previous owner sounds like a good reason – if she’s to believe that…the feeling of pawnshop not belonging to him wasn’t an incorrect one.

Henry stares at the flower. Each word slow and measured, he says, “I think there’s some stories missing from the book.”

His gaze turns to her, so serious, an expression far too old for him to have. It’s the look of everything changing and having to face something you never thought possible.

Henry has been preaching the impossible since she met him. Nothing should be too impossible for him.

At a whisper, he says, “I think Captain Hook is the Dark One.”

Emma scoffs.

“Really?” she says.

She looks at the flower in his hand, and unthinkingly opens her palm for him to hand it to her.

“Seriously?” she reiterates.

She runs her fingers over the flower, over the ice cold petals in her hand.

‘Seriously?’ is what she asks, but it’s the answer as well. Seriously.

Emma really fucked up.

Emma really picked a shit time to start to believe.

#cs ff #cs au #captain swan #xoxo gossip amber;;#xoxo; f #oh hey its been ten years and ofc i dont come with wip updates #this is a oneshot i stg #im not even gonna give it a verse tag bc its a oneshot #it is definitely 100%#black eyes was really written for this au

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