#au where Melon was also there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

autisticempathydaemon · 4 months

Text

Hello... again! Are you hyperfixated on RedactedAudio?

Do you want (need) to know who to follow to cultivate your dashboard and feed your gremlin brain good, good boyfriend roleplay content and my first recommendation post of magnificent fan-artists and fan-writers wasn't enough dopamine for you?

Cool, I’ve got you, and I’ve got even more hyperlinks. Buckle up.

(Note: This is by no means a comprehensive, objective, or complete list, as I have biases and favorites and limited time. If you feel I've missed someone, please feel free to reblog with your additions! I just would have loved a guide like this when I got into the fandom back in August 2022 and wanted to spread some positivity~!)

Fanfiction:

@agentplutonium: they/them

Pluto is just one of the many gorgeous people who've migrated to Tumblr now that Twitter is, ya know, on fire. I've been following them on Tiktok for ages, and I'm so pleased they joined us on tumblr now! Highlights: "Constant" and "Inconvenience" mean the world to me, because there are just not enough aspec headcanons in the fandom, we could always have more.

@angelicaether: they/them

Aether is a fucking gem unto this fandom- not only do they run Sky Side, a friendly, closeknit (hehe) server for 21+ Redacted fans but they also were who we have to thank for Redacted Kinktober 2023, bless them~ Highlights: New Job Posting is magnificent if you’re in the mood for some David/Angel smut today and this cute couple crossover fic if you’re feeling more SFW!

@caelumsnuff: they/them

Phoenix is magnificent, creative, and endlessly sweet. I also respect the hell out of anyone that can take the anon hate that they get with as much grace and attitude as they do /gen /pos Highlights: I love this gift for the Quinn-fuckers they wrote, I do, but I have to admit I'm partial to the Imperium!Vincent/Imperium!Asher piece they did, because their tension and hatred was just too palpable to deny, I needed it.

@empydoc: any pronouns

Empy's Soul Eater AU has not only taken over my life but has also got me deeply wanted a Soul Eater rewatch. God forbid xe succeed because this post has already been delayed enough /j Highlights: I love the Marcus/Asset post, because that's my favorite pairing but also because Asset as both an android and a weapon is so, so interesting. Blake/Bestie's is also a particular gem, because being a meister just gives him a new dimension to his manipulation and I love it.

@floofdeloop: she/her

Not only is Floof a beloved fic writer but she's also one of the adored DJs of the fandom. Are you really a fan if you haven't looked up Redacted on Spotify and saved all her playlists? /j Highlights: Her whole playlist page is literally so good, but I love the cute, domestic vibes of this Geordi one or the tragic, angsty, Britrock vibes of this Porter playlist~!

@joshusten: they/them

Sten is one of if not the writer that comes to mind when you're looking for amazing Guy/Honey content! Highlights: Bitter Melon is my personal favorite of their work; what can I say? I'm a sucker for a little jealousy in my fics. You also can't miss Honeysuckle, their most recent piece which gets into Guy's canonically less-than-pure mind~

@pinksparkl: she/her

Gosh, where would we be without her? Pink never has a bad word or thought for anyone and just persists in being a delightful, sweet presence in the fandom. Highlight: I can't decide what I'm more obsessed with- their Adam-centric fic exploring the Progeny/Maker bond or their nsfw Gavin-centric with his tail exploring Freelancer nudge nudge wink wink

@redlikeredacted: they/them

Just as their blog says, they are the CEO of Dasher. In my head, they are the president of both the David/Asher and the Autistic!David fan clubs, and I'd vote for them a second and third term okay I love Red Highlights: Their "David bottoming for the first time" fic is everything to me okay I am here for nothing but this except maybe this Milo fic where he gets Aggro~

@teafairywithabook: she/they

A lovely writer, voice actor, and person, Cheri does it all! With a whole 34 Redacted works on AO3, they are a must-follow. Highlights: I'll provide the masterlist of previously mentioned works, but I must recommend her nsfw Avior/Starlight fic keeping us sated until we finally get an Avior BA and their fic of Alexis's POV of Sam's turning I couldn't not okay I'm just a person I have biases

@tepid-judas: he/they/it

My favorite Adam stan, my friend, and the person who converted me into an Adam/Brighteyes shipper, I thank Judas every day for that. Highlights: I love their series of epistolary fics, because who doesn’t love a good letter, but I would be remiss if I didn’t rec his DAMN polycule plus Xavier fic cause fuck canon let's add frosty the snowman to the orgy /lh

@themonotonysyndrome: she/her

Lady, my dearest friend and greatest foe~ How else do I describe the gorgeous, sociable, friendly person who bought Alexis/Christian into the world and ruined my life? (affectionate) Highlights: Let these two assholes in love take you on a ride, fall in love with them too. If that's not your vibe, I cannot recommend enough her insane, gen z Bright Eyes being an absolute fucking terror /pos

Fanart:

@androgynouspenguinexpert

Can YOU believe Penguin's only been posting art since, like, December? I certainly can't, because it's like they've drawn every boy at this point and each is as smoochable and adorable as the last. Highlights: Their Porter is one of my favorites; what can I say? Who can resist this high ponytail and cape combo? I also love their Hush, cause look at him~! He's adorable! Penguin gives all these boys such luscious, floofable hair; I love them!

@cute-brainz: she/they/it

Kindly, lovingly, respectfully, Cute's listeners designs reduce me to a sniveling, simpering puddle of a simp. I become nothing but a humble, simple straight man, and none of you came blame me good god their listeners are hotter than all the redacted men- Highlights: Like, look at their Lovely: the hair, the singlet, the VIBES? Fuckin irresistible; like Vincent, I'd give them anything their heart desires. And their ANGEL? The MINUTE David Shaw fumbles that bag, I'm on my knees with a ring hello earth angel will you be mine

@darling-solaire

Darl has been posting art for only a month and a half at the writing of the post, and yet I feel like I've loved their Solaires for forever. They, as a unit, are hot and tragic as fuck, and I love them. Highlights: I am obsessed, particularly, with the Solaire family portraits, but maybe that's because my girl Alexis is up there, and I love her. There's also this bust compilation of more Redacted boys in case you didn't find your favorite in the Solaires~!

@free-boundsoul: she/her

Okay so, like, vibe with me did you ever love Lisa Frank products with the bright, saturated colors and sparkling eyes but wish instead of cuddly animals that there were really hot men? Then Savvie is the artist for you~ Highlights: One, it's fun to see a Regulus that's not blue, okay? It's thinkin outside the box. Two, the CRACKS? WITH THE GOLD PEEKING THROUGH? I'm inconsolable my god. Speaking of daemons, Fool!Gavin is sort of everything to me. He's just really rocking that sweater vest!

@hotmcrodz: he/they

I know for a fact that I'm not the only one obsessed with the way Jai draws human anatomy. I have unironically seen a Jai piece in the tag and gone "WOWZA" like I'm Jim Carrey in The Mask; that's what they do to me. Highlights: This Milo was one of the pieces that made my eyes pop out my head like a cartoon wolf; I think it's the shirtlessness plus the muscle pose. I just couldn't handle it. I also reacted like that to their Babe because I am an equal opportunity pervert /hj

@izzuku: he/they

Izzuku designs characters with the most realistic and gorgeous body types; like, I love the soft jawlines and how warm and touchable they draw skin. Every Izzuku design is kissable as hell. Highlights: I have to recommend his Regulus and Hush designs, obviously, they're my favorite men. However, I can't let the world go by another rotation without recommending this special Halloween version of Vincent~!

@kilarthmac: she/they

In case we needed another reason to love and appreciate the iconic timestamping account we all recognize from the Redacted comments, we cannot neglect their fanart! Highlights: Like, look at this brought-back-wrong Vega! This Hush with his cute face and off-putting air! He's so cute and so weird! I also love this piece they've done for one of my favorite rarepairs, Imperium!Lasko/Adam~

@latenightsleeper: he/they/it/she

My kinfolk and my beloved, one of the few people who understand me and the vision that is beautiful, blonde, dumb and lovable Christian. They will give you so many feelings about Darlin and Christian, and they will cause you agony /pos Highlights: Obviously, I'm obsessed with the Tank/Christian art like this one (Christian is just so cuuute), but we're all obsessed with this Sam/Darlin animatic set to Eat Your Young.

@maxpaulll

An amazing artist that I'm so glad we managed to get to migrate to Tumblr from Twitter so I could put them on this list~ Highlights: I am obsessed always with their Indigenous character designs, especially David. Like, look at him, he's indescribably beautiful, outshone by no one except maybe Max's Imp!Vega, because oh my god look at him~

@nortyourself: she/her

I don't think there's anyone who's not obsessed with at least one of Rachel's pieces; like, I believe she'll get to every Redacted man with the speed and beauty she works. Even Reticuli has gotten the Rachel treatment and been made hot af. Highlights: Technically, this Imperium!Damien just takes me breath away; like, it would be blown up and framed in his palace (for all of his short and tempestuous reign). Personally, her Hush has a dear and special place in my heart. He's just my favorite~!

@penncilkid: any pronouns

One of the most gorgeous and darling and non-stop creators in the space! They're a true triple threat, kicking our hearts in the butt with their art, their writing, and their audio roleplay series~ Highlights: With so many mediums under their belt, it's so hard to choose. If you're looking for purely Redacted content, their art is prolific and so creative, I've got to share the whole gallery. If you're in the market for a new VA to fall in love with, you've got to check out their youtube channel~!

@pycth: any pronouns

I dont have anything creative or profound to say here- all of pycth's designs are smoking hot and would render me selectively mute with a glance, 'nuff said. Highlights: How can I PICK? Ugh, hottest of the hot that comes to mind has got to be their President Moore art; like, this pose isn't FAIR. On the other end of the spectrum, if you want your heart kicked in the butt, I don't think any of us are over this Sam piece or ever will be.

@rainingcatsandjune: any pronouns

Another new artist who's only been here since April, and yet- I would die for his and his fine-ass, touchable Sam. Like, hell, render any man pretty like that, and I'll die for him. That's how pretty this art is. Highlights: Like, look at him. How does one do anything but look at him, especially in this pose? Again, look at him! Look at the hands. The soft, touchable glow and how it lights and shades his and Darlin's skin. The broad shoulders good god~

@sainthowlzon: they/he

You can't turn a corner on tumblr without seeing some of Howl's adorable Scribble Dolls or Icons! (Or any other social media actually. I feel like I've deffo seem some of Howl's icons on Tiktok too.) They're cute, they're iconic, and there's one for almost everyone! Highlights: Here's that full set of icons for your perusal; my personal favorite is Asset's. And here's the full set of Redacted Scribble Dolls; my favorite is Regulus, I think, because of his freaky vibes, but it's so hard to pick!

@sincerelywhistler: any pronouns

Like everyone with a working set of eyes and a beating heart, I am obsessed with all of Wes's designs; like, who wouldn't fall in love at first sight with all those beautiful and often shirtless people? Highlights: There's honestly too many to pick from, but I'll TRY. Their Gavin is an absolute must, I share it with the Discord on sight, he's that it girl if you will. Oh, and one cannot neglect Avior's HBS piece; I'm not even an Avior girlie, and I was like daaaaaamnnnnnnn~

@slushiepizza: they/them

Where would all the guy-lovers be without Slushie and their absolute cornucopia of Guy and Honey delights? Like, where else would we get our homemade, MacGyver'd serotonin? Highlights: The "Everyday" series is everything to me, and I mean everything; Guy has become too relatable and has struck me right in the heart. If you're not in a Guy mood, I'm also in love with their older, cozy Anton~!

@s0lairee: she/they

Jo's style is just so clean, so cute, and I really love it when they play with lighting in their pieces. Like, we are almost, almost there to making me stan Vincent if you're gonna drape him in moonlight like that... Highlights: ...thought, if I had to pick, I'd probably lean more towards Vincent's partner. They're rocking the red eyes, I love them! I'm also obsessed with their freckle-y, sweet Lasko, because who isn't?

@strawberrybouvine: he/they

The artistic equivalent of gourmet candy, I am absolutely obsessed with the gorgeous colors of Jasper's art and cannot get enough of the sweetness! Is this sugar running through my veins or unparalleled cuteness? Highlights: I'm not even a David stan but, like, jesus christ, the long hair and hairy chest makes me want to go feral. Don't even get me started on the cuteness of his chibi art, I really will start foaming at the mouth.

@theflowersaremine

I don't know exactly what medium Haylin uses or what colors or effects they use, but goddamn it makes those men so dreamy. I'm not even a Sam stan, but that's a smoochable man right out of Gilmore Girls /pos Highlights: Like, are you seeing the Gilmore Girls vision? That's a handsome man from a wholesome show geared for women- almost as handsome as this art of David. I see this smile in my dreams; it's so beautiful.

@venuslove-28: any pronouns

Venus's art is strawberry and vanilla soft serve injected straight into my heart; it's so familiar and cute, so charming, and I want to stim and bounce in excitement when I see it. Does that make sense? It'll make sense when you see it. Highlights: Personally, I have never and I will never stop thinking about this Huxley, I am simply not capable. Their Avior is also cuter than all get-out, I must admit.

@wingless-cupid

I don't think anyone does cute and colorful and pastel and kawaii quite like Cupid. You can't help but look and admire all the eye-catching colors and then want to hug their cheery, dynamic characters! Highlights: I'm highkey obsessed with their Freelancer and DAMNily and all their d(a)emons in general. Like, look at this! Minh is such a cutie and a simp, I love them! I'm also constantly thinking about this art in particular, because look at all these PRICELESS EXPRESSIONS!

@yoteako: he/it

Would you like stunning, high quality art and tragic, old man yaoi on your dash? That's a silly question; of course you do which is why we're going to follow and love on Yote. Highlights: See how beautiful, doomed, and intimate this multi-page comic is about two characters who've never canonically spoken? That's devotion. On the less forsaken side of the narrative, their Gavin/Lasko ship art is embedded into my heart.

If you’re reading all the way here, I hope you found the post helpful and smiled while making your way through it! Or both! The RedactedAudio fandom is truly one of my favorite spaces on the internet; it’s so intimate and creative, and I’ve found some amazing, perfect friends here, so I hope you will too 💖

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted

284 notes · View notes

mayaree-darling · 9 months

Note

Hi i've been binging some of your fics recently and im in love! I saw that you had requests open so I was wondering if you could do scaramouche x fem reader but where reader dresses in jojifuku or other known as cutecore and scaramouche dresses in a baggy 'cool' way and reader gets made fun of for dressing differently?

of scary dog privileges & matcha lattes // scaramouche (modern au)

pairing: Scaramouche x Cutecore!Reader

synopsis: look, you may be a cute ball of pastels that can test scaramouche's patience, but you're HIS cute pastel lover. but if anyone messes with you, it's okay - his hands were made to be thrown.

from aree: for @amia-69: thanks for requesting and i hope this was satisfactory. i had too much fun with this so i hope you don't mind if it's a tad long with more scenes than you requested. i also made this a bit more feel-good by being a little silly but it’s still mostly serious, i hope you don't mind!

content: slight stalking and bullying scenario (be warned if triggering); very annoyed Scara means swearing; i'm in silly writer mode rn so this is a mix of crack and serious writing; slightly unhinged reader but hey so is scaramouche; praying this ain't OOC; fully accepted this is cringe; fem reader

fic length: 4k~ (unedited)

Scaramouche isn't dumb. He can tell anyone who sees him is asking it in their head.

How the fuck did you two end up together?

There was nothing soft looking about him besides the hair he inherited from his mother. He was his mother but with sharper lines, edges, and words. His eyes were almost a permanent glare if he didn't look bored or annoyed at everyone and everything. He always seemed to wear dark clothing, accompanied by the right amount of chains or belts here and there to complete the look, but they suited him nicely. If anything, he wore them best than most. If he wore anything less than clothes that didn't hang off his body he looked uncomfortable. Didn't mean he didn't hear enough older people talking about his choice of clothes though.

So when he first stood next to you on the fruits and vegetables aisle at the grocery store, he realized how you two stood at different ends of the fashion spectrum. He was there with his mother for their weekly food restock and ended up getting left behind when he went to check something on his phone (typical. How may times had this happened?) When he blinked, gone was his mom, and there beside him stood you, looking at a bunch of melons.

"This shit's overpriced, the hell." you grumble it under your breath, but Scaramouche heard it loud and clear. The snort he lets out isn't unnoticed by you and you turn to him, eyebrows raised. You look at him up and down before your eyes land back to his, and he frowns.

Goddamn it, here we go. He's heard his mom talk his ear off about the clothes this morning and he wasn't gonna hear it from anyone else. He opens his mouth, ready to cuss you to next Tuesday, but you beat him to it.

"I like the eyeliner," Scaramouche stares at you incredulously, and almost as a final nail into the coffin that he heard you right, you nod in approval. You tilt your head to the side. "I gotta say though. I think eyeshadow would look a lot better. Maybe... red? Just a bit at the corners. It would look a lot nice with your eye color and would make them pop considering you wear a lot of dark shades."

Scaramouche gapes at you. He's used to getting cussed out or getting the occasional talking to about his choices in life, but fashion advice was the last thing he expected to get from some stranger in the fruits aisle.

"Thanks..." he eventually lets out. He finally takes a moment to look you up and down and wonders how the hell did he not notice you sooner when you stood out from everything like a sore thumb.

Scaramouche didn't know there were so many shades of pink in the world. Or maybe he never noticed since he never wore clothes like that, and if he was honest, he spent time with people who didn't wear that color at all. Seeing it now was like a jumpscare, just a lot softer considering it's not like you posed any actual threat but slightly still as surprising considering people randomly approaching him first was so rare. If you weren't wearing a shade of pink, you were wearing some pastel shade of another color. Pastel blue, pastel purple, white lace here and there. The skirt you wore was so frilly you looked like you were walking around with a pink cloud. You looked... soft. That was the best summary Scaramouche could put together in the amount of time he gave you a once over.

You looked like everything he was not.

"I like... the frills," he inwardly cringed the moment he said it, but he ended up just frowning at you. It was your damn fault for putting him in this position in the first place so why the hell was he the one suffering. It's not his fault he wasn't good at giving other people compliments.

You laugh, and Scaramouche wasn't sure whether he should be glad you didn't take it to heart or be offended that he actually tried his best to give you a compliment only to be shot down. "It's okay. You don't have to force yourself."

Scaramouche just frowned deeper. Now it feels like you're saying he can't give out a compliment at all. He looks you up and down again and just says what comes to his head on the spot. "You look like the cotton candy sold at the fair across the street. Actually, I think you're a lot more pink than that stuff, but still lighter? Can't tell accurately with how many shades you got going on."

He must've said something good enough for you because you're grinning at him the next second. "That's one of the nicer ones people have said to me."

Scaramouche looks at you in disbelief. "How is that even remotely nice?"

"Well, for one, I know you mean that sincerely. Second, I'll have you know I worked hard to get pretty vibrant pinks that weren't too hard on the eyes, so thanks for confirming that!"

"You made that?" You nod, and Scaramouche nods back slowly in approval, actually impressed. "Not bad."

Your eyes land on his watch and you jolt, looking at the time on your phone. You pick a random melon even when he sees you scowl at the price tag and put it into your basket. Nodding once more to him, you turn around and leave. But as he watches you round the corner, you're running back to his side once more before he can even turn away. The sudden look of alarm on your face, so different from the grin and laughter you had on earlier, immediately has him on edge.

"Please help me," you whisper, but there was no one else in the aisle besides a mother and her baby at the far end. He frowns and looks to the side.

"Do I look like I help people." it came out harsher than he intended, but didn't he give you more than he was already willing to give any other stranger? Now you were just taking advantage of him.

"I need a scary dog right now," you said it so casually and seriously he wasn't sure he heard you right. But your voice echoed correctly in his head and he actually takes a step away from you, face incredulous.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" he scoffs, not sure if he was supposed to be offended or it was a compliment from you in some weird way. "The pet shop is right next door. Go get a dog there."

"Please. You know what I mean." you look at him pleadingly and he looks away. No, no, he was not gonna break first. This wasn't his business to deal with. He's done enough for people for the day. Nope.

"Again, go look for that somewhere else. Don't you have a boyfriend to help with this kinda thing?"

You roll your eyes and Scaramouche has half a mind to smack you silly. "If I did, you think I'd be going up to strangers for help?"

"So this is a regular thing, huh?" he takes a step back and you take a step towards him.

"Of course not, you expect this kinda thing to happen sometimes. But I don't want to hide away just ‘cause some people couldn't stay away and mind their own damn business," you shuffle from one foot to another. You cast a hesitant look behind you. His eyes follow.

"What are you even-" he stops. In the corner where he last saw you turn, a hooded man hovered over the bread aisle. For a shelf that only had five pieces of loaves left he was taking his time picking, so that only meant one thing. Scaramouche watched as the man glanced over once in your direction before seemingly turning back to the bread with fake focus.

"I thought I was imagining it. But he’s giving me the evil eyes," your voice is a whisper again.

That's unpleasant. Scaramouche straightened his posture and looked at you directly. If it's a scary dog you needed then so be it.

"What are you waiting for, then?" his voice was loud, not enough to be too distracting, but enough to carry over to the asshole who decided to be a creep for the day. Scaramouche kept his eyes on you. "You need anything else? I got the car running. Let's go if you're ready."

You look up at him like he was a fucking hero and Scaramouche all but does his best to not look as pompous as he felt. He sees the guy step back a little from his view, most likely thinking twice about following you when you're suddenly with company. He all but stares the fucker down until he leaves his line of sight.

Scaramouche breathes a short sigh of relief and he sees you do the same. He wanted to leave it at that, but if the guy was planning to follow you around the mall, he'd probably stick around a bit more. So fucking annoying. Not you, though. Although you were a bit annoying, you've probably been through more today than he had. He takes your wrist lightly.

"Where to next? I have family waiting outside."

You smile, relaxed and familiar. He holds your wrist, but you guide him around the store for a few other things before heading to the counter. When you leave the shop, plastic bags in hand, he motions for you to head to the parking lot and you follow albeit hesitantly, only visibly relaxing when you see a woman standing by a car who looks eerily similar to your rescuer.

"Oh? You have a friend." Scaramouche bites back the retort that almost slips past his lips. What did she mean by that? Of course he had friends. He'd never introduce them to her and her to them but he preferred keeping those two sides of his life away from each other.

"She had a bit of a problem and needed some help," she looks at you once and back to him. She gives him a knowing look but Scaramouche could swear on his grave that what she was thinking was vastly different from what was really going on.

"I see. Will your friend be joining us for dinner?" she looks at you with a soft smile and you return it. Scaramouche has half a mind to facepalm himself, he thanks what shred of patience he has left that he doesn't because you give him a glance.

"Thank you for the offer, but I should really be heading home," you turn to him fully and take the plastic bags from him. "Thanks for... helping me."

He opens his mouth but before he can say anything, you give him a knowing nod before quickly walking away. He watches you walk a few paces before he hears his mom clear her throat. He looks to her, already scowling.

"Don't tell me you're just gonna let her go like that?"

"What do you want me to do?"

Ei sighs. "At least make sure she gets a ride? If you walked her all the way over here, I can guess you wanted to give her a ride home. But that's out of the question now."

"Why are you so invested in this anyway? I just met her today."

"Oh, really? I thought you already knew each other." Ei hums as she rummages her purse for the keys. "You look like a pair. Not quite sure what kind, but definitely a pair of something. I think she’s rather cute."

He curses silently before jogging to catch up to you. He finds you standing by the bus stop. When you turn to him, you smile.

"Thanks for helping me again."

"You know I was planning on dropping you off at your place, right? Thought that was kinda clear with what I said at the grocery."

"Nah. I'd bothered you enough. Don't wanna bother your sister either." you grin at him, shuffling from foot to foot again, now with a pep in your step.

"First off, that was my mom, not my sister." you repeat the word 'mom' silently before looking at him with barely suppressed admiration, and Scaramouche barely holds himself back from groaning. "Second, it's fine. You're not scared that guy's gonna follow you home?"

"I'll be in a bus full of people. If he tries anything I'll scream my head off." you laugh. Scaramouche can hear a shred of doubt in your voice, but he doesn't say anything else. There's a pause of silence before you look at him from the corner of your eye and hum. "Y'know. I don't know how to properly thank you."

He waves you off. "Forget about it."

"How about I treat you?" you turn to him fully, like he just didn't brush you off. "I know a cafe by the train station that makes really good matcha lattes."

"What makes you think I even like matcha?" he sighs, but he thinks about it for a second. And then another second. Scaramouche blinks before he turns to you with a deadpan face. "You're just trying to take advantage of my scary dog privilege or whatever you call it."

"Maybe? Who knows?"you grin mischievously. "I'm serious about treating you to a meal, though. I owe you one. If you want you can just take the meal and forget about ever seeing me again."

Scaramouche sighs. Surely, it wouldn't hurt...?

"Alright then. When's our date?" You blink at him in surprise before laughing.

When people ask him how you two got together, he says you treated him to matcha for saving your life and you just hit it off. When they ask you to confirm, you excitedly show a picture of the two of you in the cafe of your first date. Should anyone try to mention the foam of milk from the matcha latte gathered around the top of his lips or the cat ears you had graciously edited onto the top of his head, Scaramouche is quick to silence them with a murderous look, almost the very same one he has on in the picture.

Some might think why doesn’t he just ask you to stop showing the photo to people? It’s enough for you to confirm that you got together over drinks, end of story. But as he watches and listens to you recount how you met again, the smile on your lips and the laughter that slips past and the grin as you show all the pictures - he can’t imagine saying no.

Why would he make you stop when you’re so happy?

That’s what he thinks now, as he sees the frown on your face.

He thought people already understood. He let you tell the story over and over even though it got on his nerves time and time again because it made you happy, yes, but also so people saw who they were messing with if they ever even thought of messing with you. This city was a small one - if people didn’t know him from his mother, they surely have heard of him and his friends. This city was the kind where word travelled fast if you were even in any social circle. If not for that, they would have surely seen him walking around with you with all the places you wanted to see.

He underestimated how dumb people could be.

Scaramouche rolled his eyes before frowning. He pocketed his phone and all but jogged to the park. From a distance, he could see two guys in front of the bench he was sure was where you were supposed to meet. It was the bench he and you stopped at to exchange numbers, so it became a place that meant a lot to you. When he was close, the group of guys looked at his direction, snickering, before heading to the next bench over. Finally, he has a perfect view of you, your head down, holding on to your drink and phone like a lifeline. His drink almost lay forgotten beside you.

He quickly grabbed the drink from your side and sat beside you. From the corner of his eye, he can see the group of guys stealing glances at the both of you, not even trying to hide their laughter and sneers. He’s gripping his drink almost as hard as you were.

“You’re here,” you smile at him, but as quickly as it’s on your face it drops back to a wobbly frown and you look away. “Sorry if I made you hurry, I-”

“What happened? Did they do anything to you?” his voice comes out in a rush but it’s soft, as comforting as he can muster with the situation at hand. He can feel his blood boiling, his senses on high alert.

“No, no, they were just being mean and annoying and I-” you shakily pocket your phone and hold on to his hand. He can feel you shaking and he grit his teeth.

“What did they do? What the fuck did they say?” he was gripping onto the cup so tight he would’ve been surprised that it hadn’t broken yet if he wasn’t so focused on you.

“Nothing important.” he squeezes your hand, not enough to hurt, but to make sure you know that he’s here now. You didn’t need to hide anything from him. You just need to tell him. You look up at him and purse your lips. “They just said-”

He hears laughter and immediately whips his head towards the two guys, feeling absolutely feral. The closest one sitting on the edge of the bench flinches for a second, before he meets his glare with a sneer.

“I was wondering what kind of parents would leave their little princess walking around alone like that,” the guy smirks and Scaramouche can feel you flinch under his touch. “But another kid just showed up to pick them up. Where are your parents, kiddies?”

The two guys laugh and Scaramouche can feel his teeth crack with how hard he was biting down. He stands up but you hold on to his hand.

“Just let it go. Let’s just get out of here.” you mumble to him, but the guys heard perfectly.

“Let’s just get out of here~” the other guy copies your voice, all high pitched and mocking and everything that Scaramouche knew you were very much not. “She dresses like a little princess and sounds like one. Aren’t you too old for that?”

They howl with laughter and slowly, Scaramouche feels you let go of him. He looks to you, concerned, but you meet his eyes, your face blank but he knows that look.

Go for it.

With quick strides he’s right beside their bench. They stop for a moment to look at him.

He looks at the matcha latte in his hand and sighs.

What a waste of a drink. You got it for him, too.

“What are you- ARGH!” Scaramouche shakes the cup empty of all it’s content, making sure that each of the guys’ heads had at least a bit of the matcha drink. But Scaramouche was sure he got them both - it was a large drink, after all.

“Pick on someone your own size, you lil’-” the man closest to him goes to stand, but just as he does, Scaramouche raises his own leg and drives a kick right on his knees.

*CRACK*

The man screams in pain, forced to his knees and tending to his newly acquired wound. The other guy stands to try and help, but his form quickly falters as Scaramouche takes one step towards him, eyes blazing. The man doesn’t move, too frightened, as Scaramouche leans down to the man on the ground.

“There you go. Now we’re the same height.”

Scaramouche feels a pull on the back of his shirt and he’s ready to throw his arm back to punch when he sees you. He lets you pull him and you make a break for it as he hears the man crying in pain behind him.

Trees turn to buildings around you both as you leave the park and head to the city center, stopping only when you’re sure the coast is clear. You both take in large breaths of air after running for so long, but even the silence does nothing to make him realize the gravity of what just happened. That’s not the case for you, though.

“Oh, God, I didn’t think you’d do that. The drink, yeah, but...” you say between breaths. You take a shaky laugh and rub the back of your neck. “Was the kick really necessary, though?”

Was that necessary? Scaramouche knew the answer for himself. He walks closer to you.

Why would he let anyone destroy whatever you two had going on? You came as a pair.

"Scara, what are you-" he stops in his tracks and looks you in the eyes. There's a pause before he lifts his hand and flicks your forehead.

"Talk smack, get whacked."

"I didn't even say anything! And why are you hitting me?!"

There’s a pause as he runs his teeth over his lower lip.

“Hey… you.”

“Wow, I thought by now you knew my name,” you sneer at him. “You telling me you still don’t know it?”

He inhales before he says your name softly. You gape at him, suddenly aware of how serious he’s gotten. “You’re happy with… yourself, right…?”

“Of course I am. That’s not even worth asking about,” there’s a doubtful look on your face, but not because of your answer. Your apprehension stems from where this conversation was going.

“Keep being happy, then.” Scaramouche rubs the knuckles of your hand with his thumb before pressing a kiss to your palm. He smirks at you. “If anyone else says otherwise, a drink over their head and broken kneecaps are the least of their concerns.”

“Now, come on,” he doesn’t let go of your hand and you make no mention of it. “We still gotta stop by Nahida’s, right?”

＝＝✿＝＝｜✧••❀••✧｜＝＝✿＝＝

❀BONUS❀

“Your mom’s gonna kill us when she finds out what you did.”

“Nah. She’d be fine with it.” Scaramouche scoffs.

“Find out what?” Ei appears by the kitchen doorway and looks at you both expectantly. You turn to Scaramouche, eyes wide with fear, but he doesn’t flinch or even stop chopping the melon.

“I poured a drink over some guy who said Matcha was acting too much like a kid,” Scaramouche answers easily, passing you a melon slice. “Also might have broken their knee, but we didn’t get to see.”

“I’m really sorry, Ms. Ei-”

“That’s it?” Ei leans on the kitchen counter and to your surprise, looks at Scaramouche with disappointment. “You should’ve broken a bone or two more.”

You blink as they continue talking about how best to have handled the situation; all their solutions involved hurting someone.

Well, you guess Scaramouche must have had to got it from someone in the family.

✨ Masterlist ✨

Taglist: 💛@wonpielle 💜@shikanosn

Disclaimer: Characters are not mine and belong to their respective creators. Their portrayal is merely my own interpretation of them and may not be accurate to their intended characterization. I stake no claim to the original works, only to the ideas and plot of the fictitious stories I’ve written them into.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin impact modern au #scaramouche modern au #genshin impact reader insert #scaramouche x reader fluff #scaramouche fluff #genshin impact x reader fluff

557 notes · View notes

wangxianficfinder · 2 days

Text

In the mood for...

Sep 20th

~*~

1. in a mood for wangxian and nielan as major pairings canon divergent fics ( not explicit and not modern aus) or arranged marriage ( with angst with a happy ending)

A Future Family In A Broken Past by Hauntcats (T, 121k, wangxian, WWX & Wen Remnants, Jiang Family & WWX, WQ/MM, JYL/NHS, LXC/NMJ, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly, WWX Needs a Hug, Family Dynamics, What is a good family?, Fear of emotions does not excuse abuse, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel fix-it, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, LXC needs a hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Not YZY Friendly) link in #8A

🔒 shades of grey spill from my veins (bleeding ink all over the page) by Reverie (cl410) (M, 58k, NMJ/LXC, wangxian, NHS/WN, POV NMJ, Canon Divergence, Joining the “Wei Wuxian raised by the Nie Sect” Club, Mentions of WWX’s life on the streets, Hurt/Comfort, Accidental Sibling Acquisition, Single Dad NMJ, NHS & WWX Friendship, Fluff, Humor, Happy Ending, Everyone Lives AU, Protective NMJ, Sunshot Campaign, Some angst, Blood and Injury, Kidnapping, Protective Siblings, Found Family)

🔒 Not my lips you kissed (but my soul) by luckymoonly (M, 20k, WangXian, NMJ/LXC, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Sunshot Campaign, Fall of Lotus Pier, Happy Ending, Starts from chapter 55, Romance, fast burn, WWX and NHS are BFF, Horny Teenagers, Loss of Virginity, Smut, Angst, getting together early, no loss of golden core, pregnant WWX, Mpreg, soup drama, Matchmaker WN, Smugji strikes again, Everyone Is Gay)

~*~

2. for itmf!

fics where wangxian are DADS, better if they're girl dads!!

❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste for williedustice (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, 🔒[PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)

🔒 Little Stars by Aki_no_hikari (G, 4k, WangXian, Family Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Canon Divergence, Yílíng Wèi Sect)

Jiang Xiaolian’s Guide to Motherhood and Gardening by bumbledees (T, 14k, WangXian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, Crack Taken Mostly Seriously, like many of WWX’s best ideas it starts as a joke!, and then i write it, canon is sad bitch let’s get you some fun, purposeful baby aquisition, john mulaney voice: you know those days when you’re like ‘this might as well happen’, that’s this fic, WWX when will you learn that there are consequences to your actions, have a melon baby)

🔒 Little fall of rain by luckymoonly (M, 10k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, WWX didn’t know he was pregnant, Mpreg, Mention of Birth, Family Feels, Nielan himbo rights, soft LQR, Misunderstandings, jealous LWJ, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Smut, Breastfeeding, Thirsty Granny Wen, JGS being his usual self)

~*~

3. I recently read and loved The Second Hand Unwinds by TrulyWicked. So for itmf, are there any other fics where Nie Huaisang, Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian swear brotherhood? 🥹 @starlightrenmin

~*~

4. For the next itmf:

A) Do you guys know any fics with wwx being doted on by lwj or the juniors in public? i love wwx being loved 🥹

B) Also any fics that show wwx and wen ning or nie huaisang’s friendship/ brotherhood in more depth? anything where wwx learns what it means to have a true brother and being cared for

Thank you so much for all that you do!

4A)

I’m Going Out (Gonna Make A Name For Me And You) by cosmicmilktea (T, 16k, wangxian, post-canon, chief cultivator LWJ, Mentor WWX, intersect relations, slow burn, sickness)

Trust by FlyingMachine1 (G, 8k, WWX & the Junior Ensemble, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, background wangxian, BAMF!WWX, Humor)

Proximity To Knowledge by ChilianXianzi (T, 7k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Married Wangxian, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Teacher WWX, Inventor WWX, And his research assistant Lan ducklings, LQR is not a good educator, the kids are alright, WWX did online learning before it was cool)

See Me, Feel Me (Listening to You) by Ghost_Honey (T, 29k, WangXian, POV WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX’s Abyssmal Self-Esteem, Emotional Healing, Angst, The Juniors love their Senior Wei, Curses, WWX is an Unreliable Narrator, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling)

💖 Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 11k, wangxian, protective LWJ, genius LWJ, post-canon, fluff & humor, getting together, chief cultivator LWJ)

I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (M, 28k, WangXian Post-Canon, Getting Together, Love Letters, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Literal Sleeping Together, Intimacy, CQL Compliant, No Plot Just Feelings, First Time)

call me home and I'll build you a throne by anaphoricae (E, 51k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Post-CQL, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Self-Indulgent, Gusu Lan Juniors Dynamics, Touch-Starved, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sexual Intimacy, Lán Juniors Gossiping about Wangxian, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Farmer WWX, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Mutual Pining, Communication, Quietly Falling Into a Married Life, Light Angst, Wholesome, POV LWJ, POV WWX, LWJ in braids agenda, Sharing a Bed, Semi-Public Sex, Inventor WWX, Jealous WWX)

4B)

Story-Shaped by lingering_song (T, 13k, NHS & WWX, wangxian, Post-Canon, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Inventor WWX, Found Family, NHS needs a new hobby, And apparently that’s spoiling his Wei-Xiong, Mentioned Character Death, Alcohol, Protective NHS, WangXian Endgame, Not JC Friendly, Not particularly gentry sects friendly overall tbh)

A Brother's Choice by Admiranda (M, 8k, Time Travel, Yiling Bros, Animal Death, Minor Character Death, madam yu's canonical cruelty, Post-Canon Setting)

~*~

5. Hello! I Hope you're all having a good day! I'm not sure how to ask, but does anyone have any recs of fics where WWX marries LWJ and into the Lan Clan and kind of becomes it's Furen? Not like, seen as a woman, but taking on the job that the Sect Furen would take, because LXC didn't marry? As in hearing the demands of the women of the Sect, taking care of the women of the clan, or administrating the "household"?

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious) it's a small part of the fic but this is covered in the later part of Dispersing Clouds

~*~

6. Hello!! Do you happen to know any fics with Lan Wangji & Jin Jixuan friendship? I just love the two awkward bois together! @lostandmessedup

mating rituals by detectorist (E, 16k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, College/University, Humour, Pining, Getting Together, Idiots in Love)

❤️ save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae (E, 33k, wangxian, modern w magic, college/university au, fake/pretend relationship, single parent WWX, homophobia, light angst w/ happy ending, idiots to lovers, fluff)

Marks of weakness, marks of woe by Song_of_Storms (E, 48k, WangXian, WIP, College/University, Modern with Magic, Dark Academia, Rivals to Lovers, Dark LWJ, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Murder Mystery, Minor Character Death, Familiars, Fencing, Nonbinary NHS, Poison, Aftermath of Poisoning, Tagged Explicit For Later Chapters, LWJ's canonical inability to distinguish between immediate hatred and immediate attraction, furthering the LWJ/JZX/MM friendship agenda, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Intrusive Thoughts)

~*~

7. fanfic recommendations with lan wangji feeling jealous? <3 @witchsik

Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k, WangXian, Time Travel, kind of, it’s more reality travel but there’s modern wwx and cultivator lwj, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Cultural Differences)

Unavoidable by diamondbruise (T, 18k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Amnesia, Jealousy, lwj just is like that idk what to tell you, Misunderstandings, Falling In Love, Again, Happy Ending, it’s that thing where they’re married but lwj can’t remember wwx and they meet again)

🔒Little fall of rain by luckymoonly (M, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, WWX didn't know he was pregnant, Mpreg, Mention of Birth, Family Feels, Nielan himbo rights, soft LQR, Misunderstandings, jealous lwj, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Smut, Breastfeeding, Thirsty Granny Wen, JGS being his usual self)

🔒Smile for Me by kuro (T, 8k, WangXian, Fluff, Jealousy, Modern AU, College/University, Bicycles, Coffee, Siblings)

Am I (Gusu Lan Cultivator, 24 M) the Asshole? by moonwaif (M, 41k, WangXian, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, modern cultivation au, Oblivious LWJ, Jealous LWJ, Jealous WWX, Misunderstandings, No actual WWX x Others, A "What If WWX Figured Out His Own Feelings First?", AU Hanguang-jun unlearns compulsory heteronormativity, Implied/Referenced Homophobia)

~*~

8. Hi! Itmf

A) Lwj and the sect that killed two people he loved dearly -mother and WY

B) lwj experiences shock that his sect actually easily goes against everything they instilled in everyone who listened (and not) and killed innocent people. And lwj can't comprehend. His turmoil.

Thank you! @best-before-end

8A)

The Dreams of Youth by sami (E, 86k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, family, not lan sect friendly, canon typical violence & gore, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, mothers who live, some people live/not everyone dies)

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 146k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP)

8B)

And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Memory Loss, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Screw the Cultivation world tbh, The Lan precepts deserves better, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, domestic life, Social justice boyfriends wangxian, Happy Ending)

~*~

9. Does anybody have good fics about canon era Wei Wuxian interacting with the dead? I'm more interested in the plot/worldbuilding angle than the ship for this one. One of the things I loved about the yi city arc was how a-Qing was treated properly as a person who had lived a life before becoming the ghost that they encounter. Just Wei Wuxian as a necromancer acknowledging the humanity of his ghosts. Any recommendations are appreciated! @axemurderer1347

🔒 Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, WangXian, canon divergence, yiling wei sect au, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, fix-it of sorts)

we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club)

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 93k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Disability, Scheming NHS, Disabled Character)

let the sun go down on your anger; let it burn you to sleep by enbysaurus_rex (Not Rated, 90k, WIP, WangXian, Narcolepsy AU, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, YLLZ WWX, Oblivious WWX, Sleeping Beauty Elements, Sleeping Beauty Fusion, tags at the beginning of every chapter, Body Horror)

🔒 A Heart Undying by NonsensicalRambling (M, 114k, WangXian, Undead WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical dead things the burial mounds, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Eventual WangXian, No Yīn Tiger Seal, Morally Gray WWX, Animals Eating People, WWX’s questionable choices, Morally conflicted LWJ, Oblivious WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei, YLLZ WWX, Sect Leader WWX, LWJ & WQ have an Understanding) Canon divergence in that WWX dies in the Burial Mounds, becomes a vampire (but is actually a god/immortal/guardian of the dead type being as it turns out at the end). There are some really great moments where we see him caring about each and every soul he helps. Some sad moments when he finds dead children, but he is very kind to them. Happy ending, not everyone who dies in canon dies, LWJ/WWX

~*~

10. For itmf I'd love wangxian fics where wwx swears brotherhood with someone and it turns out to be an amazing bond between him and his sworn bro. I wouldnt mind it being anyone but I'd love it if it was nhs. Apart from that, I'd also love recs for fics where nhs/wwx or jgy/wwx are besties and partners in crime. Thank you! @yiling-laozu-is-loml

🔒 The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 64k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

🔒 Without end by barisan (M, 69k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Suicide Attempt, Hurt/Comfort, Depressed WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Yunmeng Jiang bashing, Sentient Resentful energy, Medical inaccuracies)

Debts of a Child Part 2 by Hauntcats (M, 111k, WangXian, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters., hurt no comfort for Jiang siblings.)

~*~

11. Hello, I wonder if there are fics where wwx is a better sect leader than lxc. Like wwx took his place for a period of time and people he leads see the difference. Thank you 😊

~*~

12. Hello, I'm reading a work "Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet" and would like to read where else someone said lxc talks too much (blabbermouth and telling secrets to other people and wtf). Any recommendations?😉

Thank you!

~*~

13. Hello i don't know how to use this app. but i need help , I'm in the mood for a fic where wangxian is in college and shares a dorm. i really like lengthy fics. please help me thankyou.

tags i prefer:

mutual pinning

pov lwj

happy ending

jealous wwx.

(i can accept anything except cheating)

Thank you again

like a saturated sunrise by moonsteps (T, 26k, WangXian, College/University, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, References to anxiety, Family Issues, Friends to Lovers, Roommates)

the earthquake in the room by phnelt (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern: No Powers, Canada, Getting Together, Mentions of lwj/others, background NieLan, background QingMian, inter-faculty romance, strangers to lovers to frenemies to lovers, mostly book characterisation, Background XuanLi)

no certainty of doors between us by betts (T, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Roommates, Crack Treated Seriously, Drunken Confessions, Idiots in Love, dubiously consensual spooning, Enemies to Lovers, Sharing Clothes, Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, wwx's casual intimacy meets lwj's touch starvation, wwx doesn't know they're enemies, lwj doesn't know they're dating)

🔒 The Second Jade of Lan’s late but incendiary sexual awakening by KizuKatana (E, 41k, wangxian, First Time, LWJ’s Horny Grip, LWJ does not know what hit him, and yet somehow he still realizes it before WWX, canon wangxian dynamics, college AU, LWJ starts off annoyed at WWX, But quickly discovers both his competency kink and a caretaking kink, Genius WWX)

Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl (E, 60k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Modern, JC mooning over WQ, getting wrecked sexually, WWX's single brain cell, Practice Kissing)

synesthesia by uchiuchi (T, 28k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, strangers to friends to lovers, pining)

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition,Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer)

🧡 Always Knew You Were Magical by jeyhawk (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Curse Breaking, Case Fic, Sharing a Bed, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension Masturbation, First Time, Blow Jobs, curse fic, College/University, True Love's Kiss, Attempted self harm under the influence of a curse)

living in my memory/living in my mouth by tardigradeschool (T, 32k, WangXian, Reincarnation, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, College/University, Modern with Magic, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed Nightmares, Light Angst, Epistolary, (sort of), POV Alternating, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers)

Talk Hard by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 161k, wangxian, LXC/JYL, JZX/WQ, JC/MM, Modern, College/University, Roommates/Housemates, rare pairs galore, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Separations, Getting Back Together, BAMF WWX, Drunk LWJ, Protective WWX, Good Parent YZY, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Cultivation Sect Politics, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

14. Hello! I’m looking for a fic where Lan Zhan is mean or a jerk to Wei Ying, but then he realizes he was wrong

For you by 10thNoNamePerson (T, 16k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence, No War AU, Teen Wangxian, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous WWX, Soft WangXian, No Sunshot Campaign)

~*~

15. For the next In the Mood for… possibly any fics where LWJ dates WWX on a dare, or even where LWJ believes in an accusation leveled against WWX and leaves him? Happy ending if possible, but ending doesn’t really matter, I’ve just been super into emotionally hurt WWX. Thanks a bunch!

~*~

16. Hello!!! I'm in the mood for fics where people assume Lwj raped Wy or where people assume Wy raped Lwj (no abuse actually happened, people are just being their usual batard selves who assume the worse)

Hi, this is the same person who sent an ask requesting fics where some misunderstanding happens and people and up thinking Lwj raped Wwx or thinking Wwx raped Lwj. I forgot to add on the ask that I don't want the ones where the misunderstanding happens because Lwj was drunk and Wwx wasn't, Lwj freaks out when he wakes up thinking he took advantage of Wwx while drunk, Wwx (who didn't know Lwj was drunk) freaks out thinking Lwj regrets what happened and there goes people thinking Wwx is freaking out because Lwj abused him. Those fics are full of victim blaming towards Lwj (who was the one drunk while they had sex) both on the fic and on the comments and of everyone ignoring Lwj's pain of losing his first time while drunk and painting him as an asshole towards Wwx for freaking out when he woke up, so I don't vibe with that kind of victim blaming at all. If the fic doesn't have shit like that, then it's all good. Thanks.

🔒 Hold Truth to the Light by SoManyJacks (E, 15k, WangXian, Light Angst, Fluff, idiot plot kind of, switch!lwj, service top!wwx, Accusations of rape, False Accusations, nasty rumors, Alcohol, arranged marriage sideplot, Painful Sex, Anal Sex, POV Alternating, Light Dom/sub, Post-Canon, Based on the novel, Flip Fuck, gratuitous epilogues, uhhh also donkey)

~*~

17. heyy itmf some highschool au's! It could be a confession fic or a case fic with murder mystery as long as the characters are in highschool :))

My Care for You by flowercity (FaoriE) (T, 6k, WangXian, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU, High School, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Underage Drinking )

The Fifth Type of Non-Contact Force by Caixx (Not Rated, 83k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Fluff and Humor, Actually Somewhat Canon, Mutual Pining, Horny Teenagers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Non-Graphic Smut)

🔒Where is home? by SpicyRamen_10969 (M, 92k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Supportive LQR, Good Sibling LXC, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC Being an Asshole, Possible Smut?)

🔒you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX, slowburn, Demisexuality, references to lqr’s a+ parenting, references to jfm’s a+ parenting, but we’re gonna get a happy ending ANYWAY, references to yzy’s a+ parenting, Background NMJ/LXC, hints of nmj/lxc/jgy, bottom LWJ in chapter 15)

Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 108k, wangxian, modern, angst w/ happy ending, romance, persuasion au, separations, pining, miscommunication, depression, self-harm, reconciliation, smut) which starts out with the characters in high school

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

84 notes · View notes

hannie-dul-set · 1 year

Text

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [6].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. almost drowning, a nauseating amount of stupidity, swearing, sex jokes, bribery, the boys are shirtless for most of the chapter. WORD COUNT. 5.2k.

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi @certifiedmoa @blueberrgyuu0 @primantha @blu3bell4 @nunugget @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @captivq @tocupid @seosalad @ddazed-lhs @gyuszie @mifuyuyo @error-cant-function @twocupsofsuga @flowerbe0m @dangerousconnoisseurbanana @laviesm @keikeu @elavin @chaemmie @rikisly @satsuri3su @gyugyubin @junhuicosmo @skzenhalove @luvkpopp @yansbolobao @emer-syn @eggomi @drunkinjake @soobiverse @deobitifull @haechanspudu @yawnzzn27 @7myoi @toothfa-1-ry @imsiriuslyreal @maimoirs @whippedforbeomgyu

NOTE. this is my favorite chapter so far i think i peaked here. the ppt scene was inspired by anthpo, my professors' tendency to use the socratic method to instill trauma in their students, and hoshi from seventeen's tiger agenda. also, most of this was written before i found out odi has passed 😔 fly high little guy.

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 6 — the obligatory pool episode.

THERE’S A HEATWAVE IN TOWN. When you wake up, it feels like you got transported into Satan’s rectum. It’s sweaty and disgusting under your covers, and kicking them off does nothing to appease the hellish humidity inside your room. But when you roll over to grab the remote for the air conditioning, blindly press on the button, nothing happens.

You try again.

It’s not working.

You jolt up from your bed, hair a mess, and armpits too sweaty for comfort. A power outage. Of course, there’d be no power on the hottest day of the year.

“Fucking shit, I’m so hot,” you announce as you make your arrival downstairs. It’s only Sunghoon and Jay in the living room. They turn away from their game of jenga upon your arrival.

“Yeah, you’re super hot,” says Jay. “I mean, damn global warming sure sucks, huh?”

The wooden tower collapses. You stifle out a grunt of agreement. “Apparently some feeders in the neighborhood broke down,” Sunghoon informs you. “They’re still fixing it. The generator also wasn’t working when Heeseung hyung went down the basement to turn it on. I think we need to get that fixed too.”

Well, shit. That’s not good news. You give Sunghoon a pat on the head for speaking thirty-six words to you today before walking over to the kitchen. Last time you checked, there was a stash of popsicles in there. You’re pretty sure they haven’t been completely water-fied by the blackout yet.

For some reason, upon nearing the kitchen island, the fridge door is hanging open. You understand why when you step on something— er, someone— on the way towards your frozen delight. “Ow!” Beomgyu hisses from the floor. There’s remnants of cold wind filtering out from the refrigerator. Beomgyu has claimed it as his territory, and he’s glaring up at you from his spot. “Watch where you’re going.”

“‘Scuse me.”

You walk over him, hiking one leg across his torso before infringing upon his fridge monopoly to grab a half-melted melon bar. This isn’t exactly how Beomgyu imagined how it’d be like to be in between your legs. “I’m not sure if you’re dense or if you just don’t give a fuck,” he says, propping himself up by the elbows as you dig through a plastic bag.

“I really just don’t don’t give a fuck.” You snap a bite out of the pale green popsicle. “Want one?”

“Give.”

“Go get one yourself.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m sure you’d love to.” You close the fridge door shut and make sure to kick his side with your foot when you cross over him again. He lets out a cry of pain. You turn back, satisfied with your cold exploits, but there is no wall separating the living room and the kitchen, so Sunghoon and Jay were witnesses to that entire conversation. “Do you also want a bite?” you ask. Their ears burn a couple degrees brighter before declining.

Was that an intentional insinuation? Yes. Do you enjoy destroying their composure on purpose? Also yes. It’s a new hobby you picked up since staying here, and it’s definitely one you’ll miss once your dorms get fixed and you’d have to move out. Jay and Jake are both particularly difficult to get through, but sometimes you can manage to fluster the former, just like now. Jake has been impossible so far. You’ll get him one day. He can’t be left unscathed.

This may seem terrible, and sometimes you do get a teensy bit conscientious when one of them starts crying or becomes temporarily incapacitated— until you remember they have this whole secret bet going on that definitely involves you, so you should be allowed to fuck around this much, right?

“Hey! Why don’t we have a pool party?”

The genius idea comes from Jake. You immediately run up back to your room upon hearing the suggestion to change into a bathing suit, pausing right before your door because you don’t want anyone waving the PD&J at your face for indecent attire again. So you throw on a beach kimono for the safety of your wallet. They emptied the jar out yesterday to buy some meat for a barbecue party that’s supposed to be scheduled this weekend, but looks like you’re gonna be having that sweet, sweet pork belly tonight right by the chlorine scent of the pool.

You hurry downstairs, so fucking ready to be submerged in cool, refreshing water. But when you get to the courtyard— all the boys already loitering in and around the pool— you realize something.

Something a little dangerous.

“You’re finally here!”

Oh no. They’re hot.

“We’re playing chicken fight, come jo—”

A rather scantily clad Sunghoon pushes an equally scantily clad Jake off Soobin’s unclothed shoulders and into the splash of the water. They are all bare-skinned, glistening wet, and although it’s not a bad sight to behold at all, it’s a discovery that you wish had remained undiscovered until you finally leave this damned house.

Listen. It’s not like you’ve never seen any of them shirtless or almost naked before. Jay was literally in his highlighter underwear when you first met him. But you were never put in a situation where you’re able to look at them closely because all those times have been meshed with something stupid.

It’s very easy to overlook their general attractiveness when they all act like third-graders, bitchless losers, scandalized Victorian men, or all of the above at the same time, in the same sequence. It’s really easy to forget that.

But Heeseung has his soaked tank top sticking to his skin and Beomgyu is pushing his wet hair back with a wide grin. Your housemates might actually be a tad bit more attractive than your prolonged, initial impression of them. This can cause a little internal trouble.

“Why aren’t you getting in the water?”

Soobin is the one that’s asking, having already left the water fight in the middle and is now looking up at you, chest deep near the pool’s edge. You look down. You’re not sure if he’s looking directly at you because you’re a little focused on his toned arms resting above the ledge, but if he is, then good on him for keeping up with his eye-contact practice hours.

“Hey,” you call out, crouching down and hugging your knees. “Do you work out?”

Silence. Pink scatters across Soobin’s cheeks. He coughs out an unintelligible response and disappears back under the water, quietly swimming away. Yes. This is how it should be.

Feeling a lot more at ease after confirming you still have the upper hand, you finally dip your legs into the pool and stretch out your back with a satisfied groan. Fuck, this is perfect. You’re honestly unsure how you’re supposed to transition back into life at the dorms when this house has a perfectly refreshing pool at your disposal. You don’t remember what life was like before this. You’d live here for the rest of your life if you could. But you have enough pride in your system to prevent you from extending your verbal contract with Jake. Two months. It’s a few days past the halfway point now. All you could do is enjoy this life of comfort as much as you can.

Until it gets ripped away from you in the form of Jake yanking your ankle and dragging you under the water with a horrifying splash.

Before you know it, you’re gasping for air and grabbing the nearest thing your arms could reach out for so you don’t fucking drown— but when you finally manage to rise back to the surface, a loud inhale of air into your lungs, the person you managed to hold onto just happens to be Heeseung.

Heeseung, who’s looking down at you with wide, alarmed eyes while you’re wrapped around his waist. Heeseung, who shoves you back into the water out of panic and shock and whatever the fuck his problem is.

Jake rushes to pull you back up. Heeseung is dead to you.

“I’m sorry.”

He failed to kill you so he’s now down on his knees, timid palms on his lap, and head lowered in guilt.

“I am very sorry,” Heeseung repeats. “I am deeply reflecting on my actions.”

You’re sitting on the half log shaped chairs on the courtyard, still wet, arms and legs both crossed in petulance as Sunghoon quietly dries your hair with a towel from behind (no, you didn’t scare him into doing this).

“Stand up.” He flinches at the tone of your voice. “Go get yourself dried up so we can finally start the barbecue.”

He’s awfully obedient. You watch as his slumped figure trudges back into the house. “Was that too much?” The back of your head hits Sunghoon’s bare stomach when you try to look at him. He’s holding your head in his hands with the damp towel in between.

“You’re always a little much,” he mumbles.

“Is that a bad or good thing?”

Sunghoon ponders for a moment, staring at your upside down face. “More is always better than less?”

You smile, snatching the towel from his hands and jumping off from your seat. “Good answer.” Two gentle pats of praise on his cheek set his skin on fire. Speaking of fire, you can already smell the scent of smoke and deliciously cooking meat wafting in the air, so you run over to Jay who’s on grilling duty, hoping to get an early bite.

“Can you pass me a plate?” he asks, flipping the cut up pieces of meat on the barbecue grill. “Thanks.”

“Gimme one.” You open your mouth, chasing after the slice of pork belly on his tongs until he brings it closer to your mouth for you to bite. “Holy shit,” you muffle out, hot air escaping from your lips.

“Good?” he asks.

“Very good.” You swallow the piece. “One more?”

He lets you snack on a bunch of well-done beef before they could reach the plate and at some point he mentions, as you’re tearing open a few packs of ramyeon to cook, that you look a lot like the curled up pieces of shrimp he’s currently grilling. You narrow your eyes at him, hand dangerously hovering above boiling water with a square of raw noodles. “Are you trying to say I look charred and have a terrible posture?”

“No.” Jay raises a piece of shrimp in the air, showing it off to you. “Doesn’t it look cute?”

Now that you’re looking at it a little closer, it does look kind of cute. Huh. “Would you eat me if I was a grilled shrimp?”

Jay thinks about it. He keeps thinking until you start smelling something burning. “I’d keep you safe in my pantry,” he finally answers.

“So you’ll just let me spoil over and die?”

His expression drops. “Fuck.” The shrimp is unsalvageable. “I guess I’d have to eat you.”

The rest of dinner goes on as you expect. Jay and Beomgyu take turns over the grill until Jake thought he’d be naturally gifted over the fire and ended up making charcoal with the last pack of galbi (“It’s fine!” he said. “I’ll take care of it!”) and today’s heatwave suddenly becomes a whole lot hotter with the rising flame on the fucking grill right when Soobin brings out the marshmallows for dessert. It gets quickly defused by a fire-hydrant bearing Heeseung. Now your charcoal galbi has toxic frosting on them. This is the sign to move on to the next part of the program.

The set of log-themed chairs on the courtyard has a bonfire set-up at the center. Of course this unreasonably nice house has that. It’s already getting dark, ink seeping into the orange tintent sky. Jake decides to redeem himself after watching Heeseung fail to set up the chunks of wood for the nth time. “You don’t know how to start a fire? Dude, that’s so lame.”

“You burnt all our remaining meat with those fire starting skills of yours,” Heeseung huffs, stepping aside for the self-proclaimed camping expert.

“You still ate them.” You’re pretty sure that isn’t healthy.

“Because you would’ve felt sad if I didn’t.”

“You’re both equally lame,” Beomgyu chides, plopping down beside you with a bag of chips that you unceremoniously dig your hand into. “You two haven’t even had your solo chapters yet.”

A flame erupts on the bonfire. Both of them turn to look at Beomgyu. “What?”

“What are we arguing about?” Jay joins in, looking a little too excited for the squabble.

“About the fact that I’m cooler than both Heeseung and Jake.”

Heeseung’s expression falls flat. “You dropped out to become a streamer.”

“Leave of absence! I took a leave of absence and I’m coming back next year!”

Sunghoon and Soobin are both just ignoring the mess, roasting their skewered marshmallows on the bonfire and you aspire to be that level of unbothered. “Let’s consult a professional’s opinion,” Jay suggests, and all their eyes immediately fall on you. “Who do you think is the coolest?” Apparently that professional is you.

“This is like asking which dwarf is the tallest midget,” you wrinkle your nose. “But alright. Why don’t we settle this like real men?”

“Arm wrestling?” Sunghoon jumps in.

“Cooking contest?” Heeseung pitches.

“Do you want us to beat the shit out of each other right now?” Jake’s eyes fly wide open, alarmed. “I don’t think that’s a healthy way of settling arguments.”

“The fuck? No,” you spit out. “Thirty minutes. Prepare a powerpoint presentation explaining why you’re the coolest loser. Convince me. Ten slides max. Good luck.”

Something about almost naked men scattered around your home premises, aggressively typing on their keyboards with so much concentration and determination is so funny. You’re enjoying the raw bag of marshmallows by yourself beside the fire, watching as Heeseung starts panicking when you yell out “Five minutes left!” and starts typing even more aggressively. It’s pretty entertaining. Why haven’t you done this before?

At some point Jake brings out a projector and a projector screen to the courtyard. Seems like the power is back on, and your classroom of death has been set in place.

“Okay. Who wants to go first?”

You’ve produced a clipboard while they were working very hard on the PPTs earlier, legs crossed, fire crackling in front of you, and you click the butt of your pen in intermittent seconds as you scroll your eyes from left to right across the six boys standing in front of you. Heeseung looks confident. Jay and Beomgyu, too. There’s sweat dripping down Sunghoon’s forehead and Jake is furiously flipping through his notepad like he’s cramming for a final exam. But the poor, unfortunate soul that just had to look away from your gaze is none other than—

“Choi Soobin.” He flinches, nearly letting go of the laptop he has clutched against his chest. “Give it a go. The rest of you sit down.”

He looks rattled. “I’m not— I’m not really good at presentations,” Soobin chokes out, and the rest disappear from his side.

You let your chin rest on your knuckles, leaning forward. “Are you forfeiting? Is this a forfeit I’m hearing?” He doesn’t respond. You sigh. “Choi Soobin, are you settling with a D? A tiny, miniscule, measly D?” Beomgyu lets out a snort. You shoot him a sharp stare. “The other Choi, please shut the fuck up unless you want me docking points from you. Choi number one, please start your presentation.

Beomgyu straightens in his seat and Soobin hesitantly clears his throat, turning towards the blank, white projector screen as he holds the clicker with a visibly shaky hand. “Good— good evening,” he starts. “My name is Choi Soobin, and today I was tasked to explain why I am the coolest housemate out of the six. The answer is I am not. I’m not very cool. But—”

When he clicks to the next slide, your clipboard clatters on the ground.

“But I do have a hedgehog, and that’s kinda cool?”

“Holy shit,” you exhale a breathy squeak, the picture of the rodent’s cute little snout occupying half of the large screen. Soobin cycles through a bunch of photos of his hedgehog and the various screams of delight you’re eliciting after each photo makes him smile a little bit more. “Look at that little guy! Oh my god. What’s his name? Where is he? Can I meet him? Please let me meet him, Soobin I am begging you, I will get on my knees for you.”

“His name is Odi and he’s currently living at my parents’ house,” he explains. “I’ll invite you sometime.”

“That’s cheating! This isn’t part of the guidelines!” Jake interrupts, pointing an accusatory finger at the photo of Soobin holding Odi in his hands. Your coos are unceasing.

Heeseung nods along. “Professor, I believe this is completely unrelated to our topic at hand.”

Soobin looks visibly offended. You straighten your expression and click your tongue. “Ahem,” you start. “As much as I believe that Odi is the darn cutest little shit to ever exist and I will die for him given the chance, Heeseung is right. Mr. Choi, I’m afraid I’d have to give you a C.”

He presses the clicker. The slide is back to the video of Odi running down a slide.

“Okay. B minus.”

Now it’s the one where he’s laying stomach-up on the floor.

“Fuck. God dammit. B plus and that’s it. Soobin, sit down. Heeseung, you’re up next.”

Soobin seems satisfied with the grade, dimples popping out with a smile as he takes Heeseung’s seat in the audience when the latter readies himself for his turn. He stifles out a cough-laugh, one corner of his mouth crookedly twitching upward, confidently sauntering up to the front with his iPad, and it’s mildly unsettling because he’s usually Nervous Boy #2. But it’s almost cheating how pretty his teeth are when he’s smiling.

And apparently he’s aware of that fact. Because after projecting his title slide (LEE HEESEUNG 101: the anatomy of a Cool Guy™), the next thing that appears is actually a photo of his very charming smile, coupled with Chip Skylark’s “My Shiny Teeth and Me” as the background music for his scientifically-grounded explanation. The next slide is a zoom in of his eyes next to a photo of Bambi. He has a venn diagram. This is actually pretty compelling.

Heeseung is a good speaker. He’s really good. The rest of his presentation goes smoothly, finishing it up with a list of references in APA format. Jake and Jay give him a round of applause. “If you have any questions, I’ll be more than happy to answer them,” he smiles.

“That was a fantastic presentation, Mr. Lee. I particularly liked the part when you demonstrated your ability to make very impressive, but also very alarming sounds with your fingers.” You flip through your very blank clipboard, nodding and throwing out hums at the times you deem appropriate. “I’d give you an A plus, but...I have one question for you.”

He nods. “Yes?”

“Heeseung, can you hug me?”

It evidently catches him off-guard, just as you predicted— persona of confidence crashing down like a waterfall as he stutters out, “Wh—what?”

You clear your throat. “Only cool people are able to hug me. I need to confirm that you’re cool.”

“I can hug you!” Jake declares right next to you.

You blindly reach out your arm to give him a head pat. “See. Jake says he can hug me so he must be pretty cool. Heeseung, you can do the same, can’t you?

There it is. He’s back to being nervous and you feel like your job here is done. “O–of course,” he stifles out, following it with a strained laugh of weak incredulity. “Why wouldn’t I be able to hug you?”

“Then prove it.” You stretch out your arms, ready to squeeze and be squeezed. “Give me a big ‘ol squeeze, pretty boy.”

You stay like that for ten seconds as Heeseung remains glued to his spot in front, eyes shaking and nipping at the dead skin on his lips. You let your arms fall back to your sides. “Okay. C minus. Next.” His expression quickly transforms into offense.

“I feel like this grading system is a scam.”

“No hug, no opinion. Sit your ass down,” you click your tongue, smacking him with the clipboard when he weakly trudges back and squeezes next to Beomgyu on the crowded seat to your left with the box of snacks occupying most of the fake log, even though there’s clearly enough space next to you because Jay already started walking to the front even without your instruction.

Jay does not give an introduction, only a rough clear of his throat and he opens his presentation with just a slide occupied with his face. Slide two is another picture of his face, only slightly zoomed out. The next one has the hashtag JWU. Then there’s a full body mirror selfie.

The rest of the presentation proceeds in the same manner— a wordless slideshow of what is possibly his Instagram feed and before you know it, it’s already over. “Okay,” you exhale, pressing your palms together in front of your lips. “I understand that you are indeed a very handsome individual, Mr. Park, but what does that have to do with the assigned topic?”

“The question is why I am the coolest one here,” he says. “I’m cool because I’m Jay Park.”

It falls quiet.

You finally break the silence.

“Shit, that’s a pretty compelling argument.”

“This is bullshit!” Sunghoon argues. “He didn’t even say anything! There was no discussion! He should be disqualified.”

Jay remains unfazed. He defends with irrefutable wisdom, “Sometimes pictures speak louder than words.”

“Damn.” You let your clipboard fall to your lap. “I’m giving you an A.”

“Fuck yeah.”

Your decision elicits outrage from some of your students. “How is he getting a higher grade than me?!” one of them raises.

“He’s getting a higher grade because he doesn’t think I have cooties, Heeseung.”

Heeseung throws his arms in the air in defeated frustration as Jay takes his snug seat right next to you again, a victorious smile gracing his face. You run your eyes through your scratch paper once more, pen tapping at the edge of the board. “Beomgyu, do you want to go next?” you ask, which is a mistake on your part because he starts acting just as obnoxious as Heeseung, which— if anything— just triggers your desire to make him crumble to his knees.

He even pulls out a lecture stick, testing it out by snapping it at full length on his palm. Is the fucker trying to go after your role as professor? Where the fuck did his glasses suddenly come from?

“Alright,” Beomgyu begins, the first slide displaying the words Why Choi Beomgyu is the coolest Housemate. “First thing’s first, does anyone in the audience know what my name is?”

“Oh, me!” Jake raises his hand. “Choi Beomgyu!”

“Correct!” The next slide appears when he hits the screen with the stick, revealing his name in a large, bold font with large spaces in between each syllable. “Choi. Beom. Gyu. Choi Beomgyu. Now, I’d like to direct your attention to this specific syllable right here—” he draws a circle around ‘Beom,’ “—what does Beom mean?”

“Offense,” Sunghoon answers. Beomgyu’s face scrunches up.

“What? Fuck, no. Another meaning— oh! Yes, Soobin hyung?”

“Tiger?”

His eyes brighten. “Exactly!”

The next slide is a photo of a tiger on a field of green grass, grooming its fur as Beomgyu passionately rattles on with fun facts about the animal. You have no idea where this is going. “Tigers are some of the most amazing creatures on the planet, they are the largest members of the cat family and are renowned for their power and strength. As the largest member of the cat family, Tigers are strong, powerful and one of nature's most feared predators—”

“Did you get that from a website?” Jay interrupts.

Beomgyu dismisses him. “Yes, I did, but that’s not the point. The point is—”

Next slide. A hit from his lecture stick. It’s more text. Beom = Tiger. Beom = Choi Beomgyu’s cute nickname. Tiger = Beomgyu.

“We have discussed that tigers are the coolest animals in the world. My name has tiger in it. Therefore I am the coolest person here. End of presentation. Thank you.”

He drops the stick to the ground and is about to walk away with Jake’s applause, but your penetrating stare stops him right before he reaches the crackling bonfire. You scribble on the clipboard before letting it settle face-down on your lap. You look up at him. “Beomgyu, are you a furry?”

Beomgyu freezes. He lets your question settle in his system before voicing out a very loud, very crunchy, “What the fuck?”

“Is this your way of telling us that you’re a furry?”

“No! What are you talking about?” he hisses. “I’m just saying that since tigers are cool, that means I’m also cool and—”

“So, you’re identifying with a tiger?” you cut him off.

He presses his lips together, cautious. “Yes…”

“Because you have the word tiger in your name?”

“Yes.”

“And because they’re cool?”

“Yes. We’ve established that alr—”

“Okay, so you’re a furry?”

“Ye— no!” he yells out. “I’m not a fucking furry!”

“Understood. You’re a furry in denial.” You write something down on the clipboard. Beomgyu’s shoulders slacken in defeat. “I’m giving you a B plus. Take a seat, Tigerboy.” Though he grumbles in distaste, he listens to you anyway, trudging deflatedly back to his seat next to the equally grumbly Heeseung.

There are two people left to be victimized. Jake looks excited, so you don’t want to indulge his positive emotions. “Sunghoon,” you call out with a pleasant smile. He squeezes his eyes shut and mutters something under his breath before forcing himself up the log without you having to tell him. “Good boy. Go set up your thing.”

Unlike the rest, Sunghoon doesn’t have a laptop or phone or flash drive with him when he awkwardly takes the presenter spot in front. He’s standing on the balls of his feet, arms tucked behind his back and lips tightly pressed together nervously. “Mr Park,” you pull down your clipboard. “You’re free to project your slides.”

“Well,” he coughs out. “The thing is.”

“Yes?”

He exhales loudly. “I don’t have any slides.” You raise a brow. “I don’t know how to use powerpoint.”

You look at him. “I see.”

“I don’t know how to use this projector, either.”

You pause.

“Okay. I understand.” He breathes out a sigh of relief. “Alright, next present—”

“Wait!” Sunghoon stops you. “I can still give my presentation, I don’t need any dumb slides! I’m just as cool, if not cooler than the rest of them, so you can’t just skip over me.”

“Mr. Park,” you start. “Unfortunately, one of the criteria for this presentation is the quality and organization of your slides. I do not see any slides being presented, Mr. Park. You may present next time once you’re fully prepared.”

“What about Jay?” he tries to reason. “He just showed you a preview of his camera roll!”

The man in question has his mouth hanging open, pausing in the middle of stuffing a nicely toasted marshmallow into his mouth. You let out a sigh. “He had philosophy, Mr. Park. Philosophy,” you explain. “Do you have philosophy? Are you confident that you can convince me with your words alone? Without the help of cute animals and pictures of your pretty face?”

At the mention of his face, his knitted brows of frustration quickly melt into faint pink hues dusting his cheeks. You sniffle a little, rubbing a finger under your nose as you flip through the next page of the clipboard that’s resting on your lap. “Meet me in my office after class,” you tell him. Sunghoon grunts and stomps back to his seat in defeat.

“This sucks balls.”

“You have quite a few options to pick and choose from here,” you hum. “Jake, you’re the last one up. Please tell me you have a presentation prepared.”

“I do, and it’s gonna blow your mind,” he grins.

“Looking forward to it.” You watch blankly as Jake runs up to the front to connect his laptop to the projector, an excited bounce in his every movement and you start wondering how you can shatter this one’s hopes and dreams.

He asks if he can start. You give him a nod. At the click of a button, something boomerangs into the blank screen with 2007 Windows graphics and animation. The atrocious mismatch of fonts say Jake Sim is the coolest one here and here’s why.

“Reason number one—” Jake starts his presentation, turning over to the next slide and your vision is attacked with more outdated graphics, more jarring transitions and animations. “—I’m super funny. Allow me to demonstrate.” He begins by clearing his throat. “What did the Italian chef get sent to jail for?”

“What?” you go along.

“Too much assault.”

An assault is also a very proper descriptor for his PPT aesthetic. An assault to your eyes. It’s like watching a car crash that you can’t look away from even if you try. Reason number two is that he has a great smile (he does). Reason number three is because he has a dog (he also does). Reason number four doesn’t exist because he miscounted and skipped over to Reason number five.

“And lastly, Reason number ten—”

He takes something out of his pockets. It’s a couple dozen bills being thrown into the air.

“I have a lot of money.”

The rest of the boys are quiet. Jake grows quiet too, chest rising and falling after that very enthusiastic presentation and his wide grin slowly melts into that muddled with nervousness and unease because you aren’t saying anything yet— just looking at him with stern eyes and a sharp gaze. “W-well?” he rasps. “How did I do…?”

“How much?” you ask. He cocks his head in confusion. “How much money do you have?”

“Oh.” Jake blinks, now understanding. “I don’t know but it’s a lot.”

Your eyes sparkle, posture straightening. “Will you give me some of that money?” The unease has left Jake and has now transferred to the other five boys around you. Oh boy. Oh no, their eyes all seem to be saying.

“Sure, why not.”

You clap your hands together. “Jake wins. Class dismissed. Good night.”

It doesn’t take long for chaos to break out.

Heeseung and Jay are demanding for a recount (there is nothing to count except the sweet, sweet cash you’ll be receiving) and Beomgyu accuses you of being a slave to capitalism (that should’ve been evident from how you tried to scam money out of them with nudity and a jar on your first week here). Soobin starts clearing up the projector set-up and Sunghoon is on his knees begging for another chance to do his presentation as you watch the digits on your phone screen bump up in real-time when Jake wires you a decent chunk from his bank account.

Another successful day at the residence. This heatwave is better than you thought.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

609 notes · View notes

silly-l1ttle-guy · 9 months

Text

silly little guy's list of stinky ships

Fugio

fucking love fugio

giorno x fugo for life

calm bf and angry bf

ending of phf pretty gay too

2. Bruabba

perfect for eachother

bruabba holds a special place in my heart

bruno x abbacchio

depressed goth and the tired dad who keeps him stable

3. Caejose

one of the first ships i really liked

caesar x joseph

training wasn't the ONLY thing they did together

hotheaded bf and airheaded bf

4. josuyasu

another one of the first ships I really got into

josuke x okuyasu

probably too shy to kiss each other

love these guys

5. avpol

avdol x polnareff

just look at them

gorgeous dark skinned man and his weird ass pale shrimp bf

i love au's where they live together with iggy

6. jonaeriwagon

i've never seen fanart of this ship that isn't adorable

jonathan x erina x speedwagon

gentle giant husband, kind wife, and their anxious bf

great ship

7. esikars

esidisi x kars

idk what to tell you lmao

they raised two kids together without any help, there's no way something gay isn't going on there

proud and egotistical bastard and his goofy ass bf

8. yasugap

yasuho x josuk8/gappy

they're perfect for each other

i haven't read part 8 yet but from what i know, they're the only thing that matters

silly pretty girl and her confused dumbass bf

9. jolymes

jolyne x hermes

i love lesbians i wish they were real

bad bitch x bad bitch

they have the exact same thought process

10. gyjo

gyro x johnny

fruity italian and his twink american bf

i love this ship it's so cute

olive garden

------

HONERABLE MENTIONS:

weathersui (weather x anasui)

dionilla (dio x vanilla ice)

caejoseQ (caesar x joseph x suzi)

whamseph (wamuu x joseph)

jotakak (jotaro x kakyoin)

dinopants (diego x hot pants)

pucci x jotaro (purely for shits and giggles)

jolsui (jolyne x anasui)

naramis (narancia x mista)

kiranobu (kira x shinobu)

jotahan (also shits and giggles, jotaro x rohan)

melghia (melone x ghiaccio)

sillywagon (silly little guy x speedwagon) (THIS IS A JOKE)

------

fugio real

196 notes · View notes

depravitymoon · 10 months

Note

Does the Yandere la squadra have room preferences for the darling post kidnapping?

This is the oldest ask sitting in my inbox and today’s the day I answer it. Right now, I’m gonna be honest. Part of the reason this sat in my inbox for so long is because I was trying to figure out the question. Hence, I’m going to try to guess what it’s asking.

The questions I’m gonna be asking myself:

What are the general house rules post-kidnapping?

Would your yandere even give you a room?

Would your yandere change their own room for you?

And just to make this simple: This is an Everyone Lives AU where Giorno is Don and actually increased La Squadra's pay by 1000%. La Squadra are roommates in a big ass villa, so it feels like live in through own private apartment complex... but richer. lol

(Some of the pictures of rooms come from here.)

(Warning: Other than yandere, kidnapping, and implied forced labor, Melone also wants kids with you.))

RIsotto Nero

Risotto’s rules:

Don’t get sassy with him.

Do what he says.

Do not attempt to run away from him.

If he is not there, then have Pesci or Prosciutto guide you.

Would your yandere even give you a room? NO.

Risotto isn’t as fucked up as some of his teammates, but he likes having control of you. Also, it’s easier to intimidate you when he’s always so close to you (and is a giant). Having your own room might make you feel too comfortable disobeying him and he refuses to let you think that’s an option.

Would your yandere change their own room for you? Yes. You behave and he’s willing to even make the room look like Enid and Wednesday’s.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto’s rules:

Be a good housewife.

Cook the meals.

Clean the ‘house’.

Run errands with Pesci.

Don’t sass him.

Greet him when he gets home.

Would your yandere even give you a room? HAHAHAHAHA, NO. You’re funny. You two are married and married couples sleep together. Also, you’re in charge of cleaning, do you really want your own room to clean in addition of his room and Pesci’s.

Would your yandere change their own room for you? He will negotiate with you. Have you been a good wife? Have you been completing the chores? What are you willing to give in return to drastically change his room for you?

Sidenote 01: Prosciutto gets the biggest room because Risotto didn't care to get the Master bedroom.

Sidenote 02: Proscuitto just wants you taking care of his portion of the villa. If you're being annoying, he'll force you to clean of Pesci's portion (but Pesci's nice enough to help you with your cleaning).

Pesci

Pesci’s rules:

Be polite to Risotto.

Listen to what big brother says.

If big bro gets handsy on you, look for Pesci.

Avoid the others except Ghiaccio.

Stay away from Ghiaccio when he’s mad. Don’t walk, RUN.

Would your yandere even give you a room? Pesci would never force you to stay in his room unless he actually thought you were in danger. At worse, he'd manipulate you into staying with him. If La Squadra has room (no pun intended) you can have your own room.

Would he change his room for you? Absolutely! He just wants you comfortable! Hell, you can have half of his room AND your own room.

Melone

Melone’s Rules:

Be a good parent to his future offspring.

Don’t ask for anything unless you’re willing to do some Not Safe For Work activities for it.

At least pretend you're happy to see Melone once in awhile, especially around bambino!

Would your yandere even give you a room? Honestly, yes. He did kidnap you to force you to have his future children. The least he can do is accommodate you.

He'll only let you roam the villa if he believes you'll behave. The moment you try leaving is the moment you're literally chained to his bedroom and has to have Pesci follow you around when Melone can't. Yes, he knows you're mad that he plans to baby trap you. At least you'll be a rich mom, not a pauper with 'freedom'.

Would he change his room for you? No. If anything, he’d probably make your room also your future baby’s room too, which would force you to come to his room for some peace and quiet.

Ghiaccio

((Author's Note: Let's pretend that the floor is an all white carpet. Apparently, most people know better than to have white carpet.))

Ghiaccio’s Rule:

DO NOT stain his room.

DO NOT yell at him.

DO NOT talk to the other members unless it’s an emergency.

DO NOT be alone with Melone.

DONT. STAIN. ANYTHING.

You may be asking "Why would you have a white room? Why not just let me go if you dont want a stained room-" SHUT UP AND DONT SASS HIM.

Would your yandere even give you a room? Depending on if you two are own good terms, he might let you stay in the tinier room right next to his. Just behave. Your room has no bed, because he'll be forcing you to sleep in his bed with him. You're the most likely darling to be allowed to roam the villa, but you can't go outside.

Would he change his room for you? No, which is why you get your own room if you behave.

Illuso

Illuso's rules:

Do as he says.

Oh, he keeps you in the mirror world with food all day when he's not with you. Rights? lol Silly darling, you have no rights.

Everything you have is solely due to his desires. While Risotto's darling spends 90% of the time in his room, Illuso's darling spends 99.99% of the time in Illuso's room and the mirror world.

Formaggio

Doesn’t need rules because he can just shrink you down when he wants.

I imagine the only thing that stands out about Formaggio's room is that it's filled with a dollhouse, dolls, pet cages, and a hamster ball. Why all of that? So he can entertain himself messing with you.

There is more than enough room for you to be in Formaggio's room. And he doesn't want to break you like Illuso would. Formaggio just likes bullying you, but he does want you functioning like a human being. Having a person he can actually converse with is better han some doll that obeys him, gross.

Obviously, you wont get your own room, but he will customize your dollhouse room if you behave! Oh and he does like you room the mansion. Keep in mind if you ever try to flee, that privilege is revoked forever.

147 notes · View notes

raccoon-crown · 1 month

Text

DREAM LAND AU: The three Mage Siblings [FULL CHART]

Yeah, here ya have the full chart to compare this little guys and also there is the Jambastion logo for this AU where Starline goes by Hypnoss.

Each one origin Post are here:

FROST (Kitsunami story and details)

SURGE story

ZERO (Infinite story)

And also some Head Canons of the siblings:

Around the time Hypnoss was "recruiting" them, Jambastion was hidden in some place of Pop Star (Kirby's) Planet.

In this story, Hypnoss didn't pay attention to JambaHearts cause he thought that it used to be just a local legend, instead he focused on stardust uses and the creation of beings merged with elemental crystals, ya can read his twisted plans here.

Frost (Kitsunami) was the first one to become a elemental one, but it's the one with the most affected memories since Hypnoss used him to practice his hypnotizing habilities, what made him more dependent of Surge and Hypnoss.

Frost in the beginning wasn't blue at all, he used to have grey furr.

Surge kept her name but has a lot of loopholes in her memory, not that she cares cause she hates to remember the past.

Surge has a lightning mark in her chest that got covered in melon furr thanks to the "accident" she had before becoming an elemental.

Zero does remember seeing Dark Meta Shadow destroying his hometown, but barely also recalls another silhouette going around. (Meta Sonic)

Zero got the scratch from hunting a bunny beast the night of the accident, not by getting into the flames in town, that's why becoming and elemental didn't change a thing.

Nor of them wear shoes due their elementary powers, having hands and feet mostly uncovered helps them channel their powers better.

They are almost as powerful as a star guardian, however, since they were reborn of the ashes of the stars (stardust) they powers rely upon the fake star shards inside them (that's what their Elemental Crystals actually are) so they are more stamina limited that even a corrupted guardian like Meta Sonic and obviously less durable than Kirby Amy.

Thanks to said crystals growing inside, their eyes glow in the dark.

I know it's obvious, but Zero controls fire, Surge thunder and Frost Ice.

They have the same weapons as their homologous in Kirby's OG games

It also means that Frost got an Francisca Axe, Zero a Flamberge sword and Surge a Partizan spear.

In their relationship, since they're only related due the Stardust crystalization, they're not really siblings (neither the OG sisters were related by blood) but they got their own bonds thanks to their own support and a little mental manipulation from Hypnoss, but hey they used to have nothing and being almost dead, so that's the only semi good thing Hypnoss may have done (Maybe?)

Also, the stardust experiments are making Hypnoss mad little by little due their corrupted power on fully living beings.

It will get worse once he involves with the JambaHearts

27 notes · View notes

ap-kinda-lit · 8 months

Text

Saiyan Squad AU outline (part 2) ⭐️

part 1

Vegeta, Nappa, Raditz, and Kakarot form a squad and fight in a war between Frieza and what remains of the Saiyans.

At some point early on, they land on Vampa, where they find Broly.

Broly’s father, Paragus, was banished to Vampa after he was accused of working with Frieza. As further punishment, Broly was sent with him so the two would surely die on the planet together. They managed to survive and Paragus swore revenge. Before the squad arrived, Paragus had presumably abandoned Broly. When Broly meets Raditz, Kakarot, Nappa, and Vegeta, they right away recognize his immense power and take him in.

The Squad travel space and go on mission after mission, trying to find a new planet call home and bring down Frieza’s empire.

As king, Vegeta is the self-declared leader and the angry, arrogant gremlin we all know and love. Since they’ve known him since childhood and practically grew up together, Raditz and Kakarot are pretty casual with him and call him names like “boss” or “Geets”, which annoys Vegeta. He also hates how he turns out to be the shortest among his team of giants. Also, after being forced into being a child king, held hostage, and having his world and people mercilessly slaughtered, Vegeta is (understandably) hell bent on killing Frieza himself. He also strives to rebuilding his kingdom to its former glory and becoming the strongest king there ever was.

Raditz is a sarcastic (not so) little shit and the stressed, tired older sibling of Kakarot. He always picks on his idiot little brother and bemoans about constantly looking after him (but let’s face it he does care about his baby brother). He himself is a hot mess who somehow gets into trouble a lot and loves chaos (when it’s done to someone that’s not him, that is).

Ah, Kakarot…he’s essentially still our beloved goofball himbo. He aspires to being a great warrior and may come off as intimidating due to his strength, gruff appearance, and wild nature at first, but Kakarot is surprisingly friendly, kind-hearted, and not as gung-ho on killing as most Saiyans would be. He’s laid-back, happy-go-lucky, and loves a good time. To him, the whole team is his family and his idea of a mission is exploring like he’s on a fun field trip. Kakarot is weaker than his teammates and his demeanor doesn’t make it any easier, so he’s seen and treated as the runt of the bunch. He makes up for it with his loyalty and hard-work ethic. If he is intimidated or attacked, he will fight. He also doesn’t like being mocked. Kakarot tries to be an ideal Saiyan, scary and tough as nails, but his good nature always somehow comes out.

Nappa is basically the Team Dad. He trains and looks after Vegeta, Raditz, Kakarot, and Broly from young ages (so it’s no wonder he ends up bald as a melon so soon). He’s essentially a more butch version of Ginyu; rough but still very flamboyant. He would exercise to The Village People and kick back and happily watch his boys raze a whole city. As you can guess, he’s not a very responsible parental figure.

Broly is the newest recruit and the wild card. He normally keeps to himself and is very quiet, so when chaos erupts (as it almost always does) he usually just watches or casually plays a small part. He’s just glad to be a part of something. But by no means is he all that harmless. If he’s called into action or when things get hairy, you might want to start running. He’s basically a nuclear bomb crossed with an elephant.

The Saiyans come across Earth by happenstance. Kakarot crash lands there after being chased by Frieza’s men. His pod and scouter are both badly damaged in the wreck, so he explores around while finding a way off the planet or at least contact his squad. Along the way, he finds the four star dragon ball. He doesn’t know what it is but he thinks it’s neat and it reminds him of Planet Sadala. He does also get chased after by Frieza scouts and encounters the Red Ribbon Army (who are attracted by his new souvenir and they steal his totaled pod). With all the havoc going on around him, he of course attracts the attention of the Z Fighters (Yamcha, Tien, Chiaotzu, Krillin, Roshi, and Bulma).

Kakarot does cross paths with the Ox King & Chichi also and an accidental marriage proposal still takes place, but Kakarot doesn’t understand it at first because Saiyans do not practice marriage and are not that familiar with ‘dating’, ‘boyfriends/girlfriends’, ‘husbands/wives’ or weddings (the closest they have is a very small formal ceremony practiced only by Saiyan royalty). When it’s explained to him and Kakarot realizes he’s technically chosen Chichi as his mate, he’s…thrilled. She’s a cute princess who can use a giant fan as a weapon like it’s nothing and she’s a hell of a cook. She’s pretty much his dream girl.

There’s also Vegebul & Launchitz, but I might go into detail in another post.

On a random, fun note, Nappa and Master Roshi strangely become sort of friends. They’re both bald senseis and they love exercise videos (Roshi for perverted reasons, Nappa actually does like them for fun exercise)

#Saiyan squad AU #Saiyan squad #dragon ball #dragon ball z #dbz #dragon ball super #dbs #Au #alternate universe #saiyans #raditz #kakarot #Goku #son Goku #Vegeta #Nappa #Broly #gochi

87 notes · View notes

mari-lair · 2 months

Note

Good point, but he also made friends with the ants before he knew Kite was dead. But geez, Gon desperately trying to get Killua to remember him mixed with Killua's now very skittish personality...although I do wonder when this would have happened? I guess the first thought that comes to mind would be when Killua almost bleeds to death, but there's several places in the arc you could potentially make it. No matter what though, this is so heartbreaking. Trying to get Kite AND Killua back and feeling so alone...part of me wants to explore it further and the other part wants it as far away from me as possible.

As for the Zoldycks, Alluka was locked up when she was pretty young and they were scared of her because they couldn't control her. They spent years with Killua, and although I don't like the Zoldycks, they would be absolutely heartbroken to realize that Killua was dead. Illumi is rather obsessive about Killua so I think that would seriously affect him (he'd still probably try to control Killua), but I don't see them casting him out. But Gon would fight like hell so they wouldn't take him away. He's not letting them hurt him again, not ever.

What hurts more is that while I imagine Killua does his best in the Ant Gon AU to accept him as a new person (Apo), I feel like Gon wouldn't be able to handle that. His name IS Killua, they used to be best friends, why can't he remember?! He tries to be patient, but he's just so hurt and overwhelmed by everything that's happened. No matter what though, he's not leaving Killua's side again. He won't fail him again, and he'll get his memories back at any cost. There has to be a way, and he won't stop until he's whole again. Or maybe if he changes like Killua did, they can be together again...(oh god, imagining them both as ants together...)

...damn, this hurts. Why would you do this to us? XD

Gon did befriend Meleon before learning Kite is dead but I still can't personally see him targeting ants as a whole cause he always treated them as individuals, being angry when they treated their friends as trash even before Kite's death and choosing to trust Meleon when he was already full of rage from seeing Kite's broken body. I think (?) Melon even mentioned that when he saw Gon, he saw a 'beast' in him.

He also never blames the king/queen or another ant when Kite did die, it's just Pitou, (which split to himself too since Pitou shows compassion and stop being an 'easy' target for gon's hate) from start to finish (sorry for the side track I know it was a minimal thing of your ask but I get too excited when I talk about CA Gon, I will yap about my boy!! yufgytfdyt)

I'll admit I didn't have a specific timeline in mind of when Killua was turned (again the lore is not in my hands) but your idea of him being transformed during the cave breaks my heart. It would have to be an au where the queen somehow didn't die (maybe the king wasn't born prematurily? idk), since only she can birth chimera ants from what I remember, but AUs are all about bending canon and the mental image of Gon never getting the phone call from Killua and slowly realizing people are acting as if he is already dead so he explodes and goes to search for him make me sad... (So i am sharing cause i must spread my pain)

man... I don't even want to think about Gon's mental state, it makes me too sad... I will lose my whimsy and get too focused on this au..

Yes, I agree about the zoldycks! I don't think they would lock up, disown, or ignore ant!killua, they are very tuned to family and indeed love him lots (twisted as said love is), I just don't think they would still want to make him the heir, cause even outside the whole 'non human' thing, Killua is irreparably anxious now. This is not a ploy to try to control him and make him leave Gon to die and become an assassin, is just who he is, and someone that get anxious in the face of power/the unknown is a weakness even to an assassin in big doses. But mentioning Illumi and the family heartbreak does make me realize something! The zolfyck would also want to bring his memory back, and considering the needle, if anyone would be able to get his memories back it would be Illumi. Gon love can make him remember flashes and vague memories (I adore how love make nen do incredible feats in this manga) but getting his whole life forcefully and violently back from start to finish? Illumi is the answer. And he will try to control him too, likely better since he now have both manipulation nen and Killua's memories to use against Ant!Killua.

I really like the idea Gon can't adapt to 'Killua' no longer being Killua. Cause for as sweet as he can be Gon is self-centered as hell so is very on brand, and to make things even worse than the Killua with Apo scenario, ant!Killua (who I don't have a name for so you can come up with one Edit: his name is Lua) is quick to give up, he doesn't want to get into a big argument and make Gon upset and Gon is already very sad (note: Ant!Killua just assumed saying gon is wrong about this would lead to an argument, so in practice they barely reach the talking stage, which just make gon fully confident Killua also wants to be Killua again, so he is more reckless about it and make killua hate it more but gon is doing it for him, and is an endless circle someone pls help them-)

#'i love miscomunication and trauma' the au #man i am so tired from work i hope this doesn't have a bagilion grammar errors

19 notes · View notes

linksthoughtbrambles · 3 months

Note

You want a prompt? I'll give you a prompt!

"She stared at the sea, as blue as his eyes." Zelink, of course.

Thank you so much for this ask jdetan! This concept kept growing the more I worked on it, so this is chapter 1 of a longfic of... an as yet unknown total length. But I have thoughts 😄. A lot of them lol.

The Horizon Cannot Come To Me

Zelink, BotW, Pre-Calamity, Deserted Island AU, rated T for now (likely to be E at some point), 1st chapter ~4700 words. Also on ao3 here.

Chapter 1: A Nestled Wreckage or Two

She stared at the sea, as blue as his eyes.

His incredibly infuriating eyes.

“What?!” Zelda gasped, scrambling up from the sand, bleary and searching for their boat with wild snaps of her head. She saw him slip from one knee to his rear, his eyes on her instead of the beach. What did he think he was doing?!

“The boat!” she cried. “Where is it?”

His entirely inadequate “uh” arrived as she recognized the color of a shattered wooden plank nestled in wet sand, now-gentle waves frothing against its grain.

Her head turned from it as though dragged by the slow tide toward Link.

He appeared most undignified, bootless with his drenched clothing covered in sand and that look on his face, wide-eyed and grimacing, his hands splayed behind him with fingers buried to his third knuckles.

“I,” he said.

She waited.

He swallowed.

She glowered at him.

“Ohhhh,” he said with a strange little laugh, running a hand through his wet hair, depositing extra sand there with a wince.

“Do I take it we no longer have a boat?”

Link nodded and kept nodding, his hand having returned to his hair, and with a start, Zelda realized something else was missing.

“Where is the Sword that Seals the Darkness?” she asked, with a strange, dim sense of surprise at how small her voice sounded.

He peeked at her between the arm he’d rested on one knee and the hand still tangled in his hair as though steadying himself with it. “I dropped it.”

“How could you drop it?! It was sheathed!”

“I took it out. It was weighing us down.” He held a palm out as though to ward off whatever he saw in her gaze. “I had to.”

The Sword that Seals the Darkness.

Lost.

Like them.

“Merciful Goddess,” she whispered.

To his credit, Link had a lean-to built for her within the hour.

Zelda used the time to change into the spare shirt and trousers he apparently kept in his korok pouch. There was a small but very convenient freshwater pool with a gentle waterfall, and while she had reservations about drinking it without boiling it, she gladly rinsed the grain of salt from her skin.

She then began to check the flora and fauna around them against the slate’s compendium. They wouldn’t starve, at least—palm fruit and bananas appeared abundant, and as one paraglider cloth fluttered in the breeze behind her, Link deposited two large, round fruit unfamiliar to her on the other paraglider cloth she sat on. She frowned as he walked away, compelled, for some reason, to snap a picture of him with sand still stuck to his back. He’d discarded only his socks.

She indulged her compulsion. She then sniffed and pointed the Slate at the melons, which apparently were “cantaloupes.”

“Hylia’s sake,” Zelda fumed as she attempted yet again to force the Slate to emit an intermittent, high-amplitude electromagnetic pulse. “It’s not as though they won’t be looking for us,” she muttered (despite her uncertainty as to Link’s whereabouts, or whether he truly listened when she thought out loud), “but they shall most certainly begin on Eventide, and we are most definitely not there.” Her gaze rose to the horizon, utterly flat and entirely blue, which it shouldn’t have been in any direction on any island she’d ever seen from the shores of Hyrule. She shook her head, confounded. It was as though the gods themselves had sent that storm to hurtle them as far from home as possible.

Purah knew Zelda, and therefore would know to search for some sort of signal from the Slate.

How long it would take her to find the right one was the second question.

The first, of course, was whether Zelda could produce one before the Calamity came.

A clack and a spark drew her eyes to the firepit Link had dug. Zelda grimaced, as did he, at the humid wood and bark which had thus far refused to light. She imagined if Link had fire arrows in that magical pouch of his, he would use them only as a last resort.

Link’s footsteps approached her.

“You should sleep, Princess,” he said.

She squinted up toward where he must have been, her eyes adjusted to the screen, with only its meager light to illuminate him.

“I have yet to resolve the communication problem,” she said.

“It’ll keep til tomorrow,” he said. “You’ll think better on a night’s rest.”

She blinked as though it would speed her night vision’s arrival. “The longer I take, the longer til we are found.”

“You need to take care of yourself,” he said with a strange laugh. “If you get sick, I—”

There was a pause, and Zelda’s face pinched. She hugged the slate to her chest, attempting to see beyond it.

“—I don’t know what I’m doing,” Link said, “with that. I won’t be able to take over for you.”

It was more than he’d ever spoken to her in a day.

He crouched before her, his fingers steadying him just in front of the paraglider-mat, his face now strangely hollowed by the graze of Slate-light on his cheekbones. “Please, Princess,” he said, holding a hand out to take the Slate from her.

She stared at it, rankling, somehow, at how reasonable a request it was.

She placed it in his hand and turned off the screen.

She curled up on the mat to the sound of him rummaging around, her forearm beneath her head. Sleep arrived swiftly.

She awakened with a cloth rolled beneath her head and several more tucked around her body. She craned her neck to see korok and Rito designs alongside a rather childish-looking egg with pink spots adorning her, criss-crossing a bit in her bleary vision.

“Why do you have a myriad of paraglider cloths?” she asked.

A squelching arrived as though in answer, and she turned to see Link with his mouth expanded unreasonably wide around a kabob of roasted orange melon.

He stared wide-eyed at her, his face too occupied for speech.

Then he reached for another stick suspended over the meager fire, waved it in the air a few times, and held it out to her.

She sat up, stretched her neck, and accepted his offering with a plaintive squeal from her stomach.

The fruit was extremely wet. She did her best to conceal its sticky tracks on her chin.

Link was terrible at it.

While she pursued her critical task with dedication beneath the palms and the small shelter, and Link kept her dutifully fed and watered, she found herself increasingly distracted by his other pursuits.

He circled the immediate area at a brisk jog. She assumed him to be scouting (again), quietly approved, and paid it little mind.

He pulled a small shovel from his korok pouch and attempted to sidle away from her while shielding it from her with his body, disappearing into the treeline. Zelda sighed and tried not to think about what he was doing with it.

She later caught sight of him emerging from behind a huge rock far to her right and nearer to the ocean, side-walking on his toes, half-crouched, with his hands in the air.

She shook her head and returned her eyes to the screen.

When his feet invaded the upper right corner of her vision despite her attempt to concentrate, she looked up to find his head waggling as well. The slate lowered to rest in her lap as he made a sudden leap forward, then sprinted toward the sea. He stopped a few moments later, searching the area around his feet.

Zelda returned to her S.O.S. efforts when he began scratching the back of his head, and this time became quite absorbed. She lost track of Link entirely for at least a few hours.

When he reappeared, it was in the other corner of her eye, hauling a wide, dark, flat rock from somewhere in the trees far to her left down the beach. He dragged it further and further from the trees’ shadow, eventually letting it rest near to where they’d come ashore, almost directly between Zelda and the ocean. Link rose with his fists on his hips and a nod, and when he turned to walk back toward the treeline, he appeared quite pleased with himself. He also appeared to be sweating arrowheads. He’d draped his champion’s tunic on a nearby branch, but he was still heavily clothed.

“Sir Link!” Zelda shouted.

He squinted at her, the Sun beating on his face.

Zelda winced. He’d be quite burnt, wouldn’t he? “Your attire is inappropriate!”

His expression didn’t seem to change, but he broke into a jog. This seemed counterproductive if the objective were to cool himself down. Zelda opened her mouth to say so, then shut it. Surely, he knew this and was simply in a hurry to escape the sunlight. She returned to her work.

When he arrived, a flash of blue caught her eye once more: he’d taken his tunic from the branch. As it made its way over his head and onto his torso over his sweat-soaked shirt, Zelda’s eye twitched.

“Link?” she asked.

“Princess?” he said, panting a bit.

“What are you doing?”

His hands spread open at hip-height. Zelda had rather the impression of a shrug, though he hadn’t actually shrugged. “You cannot possibly be cooler like that,” she said.

His face mimed an “oh.”

“What did you believe I meant?” Zelda asked.

Link gestured at his front. “Well- I wasn’t in uniform.”

Her mouth went a little slack. It took her a moment to shake her disbelief free. “Did you- truly believe I value your formality over your health?”

His eyes shifted side to side and his face paled a bit, as though he thought himself in trouble.

“Sir Link,” she said. “You are overdressed and losing a significant percentage of your body’s water to sweat. I appreciate your extraordinary ability to rip palm nuts open with your bare hands—” (she truly did, he’d frightened her with the first one yesterday, it had cracked so mightily)— “and therefore keep yourself supplied with fresh water, but there is no need to exacerbate the problem. Those trousers are thick and heavy, aren’t they?” She blinked as he continued to stare at her, and a sudden suspicion struck. “They’re still the same ones? From the ocean?”

His throat bobbed.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You gave me your spare clothes,” she said—not that she hadn’t realized that—it’s not as though he’d handed her women’s clothing—"and kept yours on. Didn’t you? You didn’t change last night? Or bathe?”

The spooked look on his face was enough confirmation. She could only imagine the chafing.

“Sir Link, I order you to cease- whatever it is you were doing and take care of your clothing situation at once.”

“But-“

“The last thing either of us needs is for you to develop some-“ she waved a hand at him- “manner of- skin infection.”

He winced.

She sighed. Something about his expression almost made her want to smile, but that was certainly, absolutely not allowed. This was Sir-Knight-Who-Seals-The-Darkness, the bane of her every waking step, the shadow haunting each glance over her shoulder, the statue standing mute at her door in the night.

His usual stony silence seemed a far cry from the paralysis currently affecting him.

She sighed again, her face and voice softening. “Bathe, please. You’ll be glad you did.”

She shook her head when he emerged sometime later, his wet, presumably rinsed shirts and pants over one arm, and opened her mouth to say something about his extremely sunburned face—and failed to do so.

It hadn’t occurred to her how he’d look in nothing but trunks.

She should’ve known what kind they’d be, considering the spare undergarment he’d handed her. It was tighter on her, with her curvy shape, but it still clung to him—and he was all chiseled lines in muscle, everywhere (at least, everywhere she could currently see).

She turned her attention back to the Slate and flatly refused to look up when he returned to inspect the state of the (now nonexistent) fire.

She managed to keep her head down for a long time once Link walked off.

Then her sedentary status began to get the better of her. She shifted her position to relieve the discomfort. She did so again—and again. She sat with one knee bent up and her elbow on that—then sat up on her knees, but that didn’t last long—then with both legs bent like all those prim court ladies riding sidesaddle. Eventually, she tried laying on her stomach with the slate before her face, and that was alright except for her bladder, which was becoming more and more difficult to ignore—and even more so in that position.

She rolled onto her back.

She managed to hold the Slate above her head for a while before that, too, became uncomfortable and she lowered it to her chest with a sigh.

There was nothing for it.

She rose, brushing the sand that had blown its way onto her mat from her (Link’s) clothing.

She quite liked the shirt. It was tight around her chest, but comfortable and soft owing to the close knit. She supposed she’d be too warm in it were she hauling rocks like Link in the sun, though.

She scanned the beach, then the trees behind her, for a sign of him, and saw none.

Zelda strode to the branch she’d hung her own things on and strapped her belts around her waist, then secured the slate at her hip. She’d not leave the Slate unattended, no matter how deserted the place seemed.

She emerged from the thick growth of low ferns she’d found feeling relieved but restless. Her muscles did not at all wish to return to her seat beneath the lean-to so quickly, so as she’d seen no sign of danger on the beach as of yet, she made her way what must have been northward, thinking to walk with her feet in the cool, wet sand at the ocean’s edge.

She jumped a solid foot into the air at the sound of “PRINCESS?!?!” being screamed at the top of Link’s lungs.

“Here, I’m HERE!” she shouted, her heart pattering like a rabbit’s hind legs and her right ankle in sudden pain from rolling on a rock. She hissed, her arms flying out for support, and caught herself on a thick, branch-like palm-stem. She already heard Link crashing toward her through the foliage, and she tested her foot, breaking into a sudden sweat of desperation not to appear as though she couldn’t take care of herself for twenty minutes without him.

She refused to be injured. Absolutely not—not in front of him.

Link burst from the ferns to her left, a rather spiny stick in one hand with the floppy remains of a ferny growth on one side and a wild look in his eye.

Zelda schooled her face practical despite his near-naked state and her ankle’s throbbing. “Sir Link—there is no need for panic. I am fine.”

He scanned the area, nodding and lowering his mostly non-threatening vegetation. He relaxed his arm and…stared at her.

She stared back.

He looked left, then right. Then back at her.

She raised her chin. “Something amiss, Sir Link?”

He waved his stick a few inches, still pointed toward the ground. Zelda once again had the impression of a shrug.

“You needn’t remain,” she said, still gripping the stem and assuring her foot flat on the ground despite its complaining.

His eyes drifted first to her hand, then to her feet. His head pulled slowly back, and though his expression didn’t change much, she suspected he suspected. “I should accompany you, Princess,” he said. “The area seems safe, but it’s better not to take the chance.”

She blinked rapidly, her chin rising even further. “It truly isn’t necessary. Have I ever been harmed on those occasions when I’ve- ah…”

“Slipped away?” he offered, one eyebrow twitching the barest fraction.

“…Indeed,” she said, his words considerably less inflammatory than the ‘escaped’ which had crossed her mind.

“…Not yet,” he said, voice flat as usual on the rare occasions he’d used it in Hyrule, but something grim lay buried in its lowered pitch.

Zelda gritted her teeth and doubled down. “And why should you expect this to be the first time?”

“I expect every time to be the first time, Princess.”

She paused at that, taken aback. “I- see. Then why have you allowed me to remain at the shelter unattended?”

“I’ve been keeping an eye out. But I can’t do that if I don’t know where you are.”

Her eyes narrowed at him. “I do not wish to be-“ she threw her free hand high in the air- “surveiled without cessation.”

His look became a cross between understanding and regret. “I- know, Princess. But I’m your appointed knight. I have-“

“A duty, yes, I am aware.” She glanced over his shoulder out of habit, expecting that glint of blue. It was missing.

He shook his head. “To you,” he said. “Not the sword.”

Her lips parted.

She hadn’t thought him so observant of her. Watchful, yes. Insightful, no. He had, after all, believed she wanted him fully dressed despite the risk of heat stroke.

She made the mistake of shuffling her feet. Pain shot up her right leg and she jolted with a wince she attempted to pass off as a grimace at his words.

His shoulders slumped a little as he eyed her foot.

Zelda tripled down—she released the stem, both feet flat on the ground. It hurt—a good deal—but she’d had far worse sprains and a sense that this, while painful, would be fine.

She turned toward the ocean to walk it out.

She went step by step, far slower than her usual gait—he would know that, but her leg was usable, it wasn’t broken, and she wasn’t a child. She attempted to appear calm and as though she were simply inspecting their surroundings.

He stepped to her side—the injured one—his glorified twig in his outer hand and the other, she was certain, ready to grab her should she stumble—which, of course, she would not.

She walked down to the waves as planned and followed the edge of the wet sand, to and then past their little camp, all the way to where she’d seen Link drag the rock out of the trees, pain in every slow step, sorely tempted to seat herself and allow the water to soothe her foot. She didn’t.

Link accompanied her the entire way in silence.

The difficult part arrived when she turned to walk up the sloping sand toward the lean-to. It put extra pressure on that ankle, either to bend further back, to support the ball of her foot alone, or to turn sideways. She found herself stopping between each short step.

“Princess-“

“I am fine,” she said, flushing, as though those words hadn’t given the already-foolish game entirely away. She stood still a little longer, though she suspected the longer she did, the worse the following step would feel.

She heard Link shuffling beside her, and then a strange sliding sound. A furtive glance showed something bizarrely long emerging from the pouch belted to his hip. A moment later, he was holding a shining, silver spear exactly like those carried by the Zora guarding Dorephan’s throne room. He held it out to her.

“You seem like you’re getting a little tired, Princess,” he said. “I don’t have a walking stick, but this might help.”

Her hand curled around the shaft tentatively. It was cool and surprisingly light, with the tip well above her head. She leaned on it and took a step—it was more manageable.

“Thank you,” she said, and made her slow way to the lean-to.

She managed to collapse onto the paraglider-mat with some dignity and no sounds of surprised pain. She laid her bad leg straight out, then the other, and leaned back on her hands, rolling her eyes at herself behind her lids.

Link was rummaging again.

He pulled a knife from his pouch and began scraping the meat from half of a palm nut he’d cracked earlier. She watched him dully as he deposited the edible portion into the unscraped half, thinking she ought to get back to her work. He then produced a blob of white chuchu jelly and placed it, the cleaned palm-nut shell, and his not-so-threatening stick on the mat beside her.

“If you’re hot,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and his hair blowing in the perfectly pleasant cool evening breeze, “you can try the chuchu jelly. It stays cool a long time.” He then rose and disappeared into the treeline.

Zelda stared at the items beside her, sheepish. It took her several minutes to get over her embarrassment enough to burst the jelly into the makeshift bowl.

It felt blissfully cold on her ankle. She set the rest aside in reserve and propped her legs up on the rolled-cloth pillow from the previous night.

She returned to her work on the slate, picking for a while at the palm meat Link had mildly cooked, once again, over a meager fire.

About an hour later, he suddenly held a hand-sized meat pie between her face and the Slate. She goggled at him.

“You need a good source of protein, Princess,” he said.

The pie was very warm.

She stared at the fire, then all around her for a sign he had somehow constructed an oven.

And a rolling station.

And butchered a wild animal.

“Where did this come from?” she finally asked.

He pointed to his pouch.

“What?! How-“ she knew how, but- “how long has it been in there?”

He cocked his head, considering it. “About two months?”

“Two months?!” She thrust it at him. “Sir Link- that is- well beyond spoilage-“

He took it from her and took a hearty bite.

She fought a visceral revulsion sending bile up her throat.

He smiled a little and swallowed—then held it out to her.

The pie was not only warm—it was steaming inside. The filling appeared perfectly fresh—perhaps a wild boar or even beef filling with peas, carrots, and some manner of starchy root. It smelled not only edible, but wonderful.

“…How?” she asked.

“Magic,” he answered. “No idea how it works, but everything that goes in comes out exactly the same. No aging—no spoiling.” He huffed a small laugh. “No getting cold before you’re ready to eat it.”

He reached a hand in—and produced a second pie, nearly identical, which he held out to her.

She took it in a strange state of grateful shock and nibbled a corner. The pastry was excellent—flaky and deliciously browned. A larger bite very nearly produced a hum of delicious enjoyment, though she tamped it, feeling it would be somehow rude.

“Thank you, Sir Link. It’s- delicious. And fortunate, considering our situation. May I ask- ah…”

“How much I have?”

“Yes.”

He appeared to be fighting a smirk. “Way more than I should.”

He must have noticed her eyeing the spent sticks from roasting the melon. “It’s not infinite,” he said. “Better to go easy on it—once it’s gone, it’s gone.”

She ate her (quite satisfying) meal slowly as she worked, making it stretch. She endeavored only to listen to Link’s activity. He was busy with something at that flat, dark rock of his, but as long as he wasn’t turning it into a sacrificial altar, she wasn’t going to worry about it.

Zelda jolted awake, her arm flung haphazardly past her head, the Slate just beyond the reach of her fingertips, and paraglider cloth once again tucked around her. She could recall neither laying on her side to work nor intending to fall asleep.

The reason for her wakefulness protested with a throb.

She suppressed a groan as she sat up, gripping her injured leg’s calf to assist it. Her foot had been hanging uncomfortably, stretching the tendons in her ankle as it dangled past her other shin. Once righted, she reached first for the Slate—it read 2:37 am.

She used the screen’s light to search for the chuchu jelly. A dip of her index finger told her it was, indeed, still cool. She attended to her ankle (now visibly swollen) with a generous amount of the natural salve.

The moon must have risen recently, for the sea was lit in dim streaks rising and falling with the sound of waves. With a start, she realized Link was still sitting cross-legged before the firepit. She couldn’t tell if his eyes were open.

“Sir Link?” she whispered.

“Mm?” he hummed.

“Have you yet slept?”

He shook his head, his hair visible as a messy outline against the backdrop of the calm sea. “I can go a long time without sleep, Princess.”

She knew the truth of that. She’d been confused the first few times he’d taken a night shift at her door despite his daytime dogging of her footsteps. She half-supposed he slept standing up with his eyes open.

Seeing him sit there with his forearms balanced, wrists hanging over his knees, she rather thought that supposition to be at least partially supported.

“I… suspect I shall be unable to sleep for a while,” she said. “If your concern is to keep an eye out, as you’ve said, I have two eyes myself and am happy to use them. Two ears, even. Please, rest.”

“I am resting.”

“Sleep,” she clarified.

He took a swift breath—then another. “…Princess-“

“You have a duty,” she said. “I, too, have a duty as your sovereign. You are one of my people. Your welfare is therefore my concern. Please…take sleep while I am awake.”

“You’ve only gotten a few hours.”

“And you have had none. I insist,” she said.

He remained still and silent as the crests of waves grew from nearly-black to soft-blue-grey in the growing moonlight. She rather thought he might disobey her entirely, but at length he lay on his own mat, his elbow bent beneath his head.

She presumed he slept.

She allowed the Slate’s light to go out—she hadn’t the concentration to fiddle with its complex inner language—and found a less painful way to sit with her good ankle beneath her bad one. She listened to the sounds of the night, wondering that she wasn’t afraid of some creature stepping from the trees to menace her here.

They weren’t in Hyrule.

She had little idea what to expect, truly, and they didn’t yet know the size of the island—yet she felt unaccountably safe. She would not allow herself to sleep despite her impression. If she did so without waking Link up, he might never sleep another night, and she wasn’t willing to put him through that, regardless of his proficiency at standing, stone in a hall of stone, night after night.

Her face softened in the dark, as the waves seemed to in the fall of silver on their brief emergence ashore.

Surely, such attention from him personally was unnecessary, but she’d only ever spoken to him of it in the context of her own exasperation. What was his context? Did he believe her to be in extreme danger in her own castle? She’d rather thought-

She…

She scrubbed her face with her hands, trying to piece together a coherent thought from the wreckage of her feelings.

It didn’t work. Perhaps she was too tired.

The night’s gentle sounds made a gradual incursion against the noisy jumble in her head. She knew the Slate far better than she knew her knight, and she had yet to figure it out, either.

She settled for watching the sea, eyes as wide as she could make them, to catch whatever glimpse of light she could on the horizon. Inspiration would strike, Goddess willing.

~~~~~

#the horizon cannot come to me #thcctm #thicctom?#500 followers #celebration #prompt response #chapter 1 #will become a longfic #lol #ANOTHER longfic 😂#Deserted Island AU #botw #pre-calamity #zelink #romance #humor #and more #the legend of zelda #fanfic

22 notes · View notes

xiyouyanyi · 4 months

Text

Modern Era At Last: Spider Queen Special

My original idea for this AU starts with "Filling up the Celestial Realm", so we'll just say that S1 works more or less the same unless otherwise specified, and let the real diverging point start at the Spider Queen Special.

-Hell no, the trigram furnace isn't kept in the throne room, it is where it is in Tusita Heaven, Lao Tzu's place. And the place is quite empty and quiet when they aren't refining elixirs and the flames have been extinguished.

-Which means MK and Pigsy/Tang wouldn't be going to two different buildings, just two wings of the same building.

-It's also Lunar New Year, during which all the Kitchen Gods went back to submit their reports to the Celestial Host, so most of the officials and guards are gathered around the administrative halls.

-To celestials, it's more of a daily meeting, though. A.k.a. "Those last few hours where you are stuck in the office, desperately wishing you are somewhere else."

-Red Son has access to the place because PIF, as the former Grand Mistress of the Wind Bureau, keeps a backdoor key. The spider minions sneaked in by turning themselves tiny and latching onto the jet's wing before the formation activated.

-The gang landed in the Wind Bureau sky-harbor, right next to Lao Tzu's place, and immediately ran into Lady Hanzhi, known to Red Son as "Auntie Wind"——which, coincidentally, was not too far off from her most well-known title nowadays, Feng Po.

"Please, that name makes me sound so old! Why not Sister Wind?"

-She acted like she always does: your overly helpful, enthusiastic, pushy aunt who seems to delight in embarrassing the youngsters, and immediately jumped to conclusions, asking Red Son if he was taking his cute dragon girlfriend on a date.

-Upon being met with an unambiguous "NO!" and some desperate attempts at backtracking ("We are just…not hating each other at the moment!") she chuckled, but was perceptive enough to understand they were in a bind, and immediately agreed to help out before Red Son even got the full story out.

-Naturally, that left Mei a little suspicious. "Uh, we are like, stealing your stuff? Ya' really don't have a problem with that?”

-Hanzhi just laughed and was like, "You think I care about my job? Or want to be here? Even though Little Red's mother left me quite the mess to sort out, I'll take an old friend's kid over The Reasons We Are Here at any time of the year!"

-Which, to her surprise, failed to be assuring when she opened her Wind Sack and told Red Son and Mei to get inside.

"Okay, not to be mean or anything, but that's just…sus." "As suspicious as a bunch of mortals sneaking around in funny modern day robes? My, whenever I thought your fashion standards could not get any worse than these awful queues and melon hats…but ah, I'm rambling." "The point is, your friends are going into Tusita Heaven while the furnace is unlit. No one will be there, except for the new furnace-fanning boy and…That Lady." Hanzhi wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, the old witch with a broom. Pretty easy to fool, but remember, stay at least five Chi away from her, or your entire mission is a bust." "You two, however, are going into the Peach Garden. With actual guards and visitors, and one of my junior brothers as its new warden. You are not getting in, or out, without someone leading the way."

-Kui Mulang is still working as a furnace-fanning boy——he could have been done with it long ago, had he not intentionally fucked up during the Three Rhino Kings fight out of spite and got his sentence prolonged. When the place is not in use, he's put in a cangue and chained to a pillar in the storage room.

-When Pigsy and Tang entered the lab sector in search of the golden pill, he took the latter hostage through a combination of deception and the space-warping magic of stellar gods.

"Now, hog, pick that vial of liquid off the shelf, and pour it on these chains," The Wood Wolf Star exposed his teeth in a feral grin, as he poked at Tang's back with the ethereal dagger,"very, very carefully. If you spill a single drop on me, my hand may just slip."

-Jiang Ziya's dead and deified ex-wife, Ma The Broom Star, makes an appearance as the cleaning lady on duty.

-She can passively curse people AND immortals with bad luck: not kill-your-entire-family, ruin-your-life level of bad luck like what the Taisui Star or the Dipper Mansion deities are capable of, but things like making people slip and fall on their butts, sneeze/burp at the most embarrassing time, arrive late to urgent meetings, etc.

(Also, firing comets out of her broomstick like a true witch.)

-MK, affected by her Aura of Inconveniences, fell right into the (unlit!) furnace while trying to sneak past her using the building's support beams. She heard the scream, but thought he was one of those bratty immortal acolytes and responded to his cries for help like the bitter old lady she was.

"Serve you right for horsin' around, boy! Now sit in there and think about what you've done, till I'm done cleaning this place! Goodness gracious, I'm never so glad to have a daughter, not that my good-for-nothing ex-husband didn't try turning her against me, yeah, some Grand Master of Strategists you are, Jiang Ziya…"

-MK then committed the grave error of asking "Huh? Jiang Ziya? Who?" and was subjected to a long, incensed, caustic rant, most of which he tuned out for the sake of his own sanity.

-Meanwhile, at the Peach Garden: Hanzhi walked in without much of a problem, using the excuse that she is bringing her junior some tea right after getting dismissed from the meeting. Said junior is one of the 28 Lunar Mansions: Bi Yuewu of the White Tiger Mansion, a.k.a the Moon Crow Star.

-In ancient Chinese astrology, the Bi Star was seen as having power over rain, and the section of the sky it was in charge of housed the Tianyuan constellation, or "Heavenly Orchard". His Stellar Beast form, a one-legged crow, is based on Shang Yang: a mythical bird that would dance before every huge storm like a goofy weather forecast guy.

-He excels at controlling cloud formations, to the point he got "borrowed" by the Wind and Thunder Bureau more than some of the Water-aligned stars after deification. That did not translate to battle prowess, though, and he mostly relies on his formations to misdirect, trap and stall enemies for the rest of his team to handle.

-After Kui Mulang's sentencing, Star Lord Mao had taken over as the substitute leader of the White Tiger Mansion stars. As a fellow bird star and the anxious secretary to Zi Huohou's shy intern, Bi looked up to him, a lot.

-Today happened to be his shift——one of the 28 Lunar Mansions is exempt from the daily meetings, to watch over their sector of the sky. Like most celestials, he was used to Hanzhi just walking around, finding people to chat the moment she was off-work, and wasn't surprised when she came out of the treasure storage room without her Wind Sack.

"Little Red, you've actually been here before, I trust you know where the kitchen is? Go there, grab a peach, get out, and please please please don't try to go into the garden proper if you can't find one. Just return to this room and wait, Auntie Hanzhi will handle it." As the shrill screech of a defensive formation triggering echoed through the pavilion, and Bi leaped out of his chair, Hanzhi could not help but sigh and thought, Of course these kids tried to go into the garden, why wouldn't they.

-Except they didn't try to go into the garden. It was the spiders, and a tiny immortal girl with an embroidered ball.

-Yep, it's Li Zhenying, Nezha's little sister, only mentioned once in JTTW! Here, she's a bit older and the holder of one of Nezha's magical weapons, the embroidered ball.

-In Zaju plays, this ball contains a shit ton of demons and evil spirits, subdued by Nezha and now working under his command, but that's not safe for kids so it just has a mouse inside now.

-Specifically, Lady Diyong, who's serving her prison sentence in there after her second capture and acts as Zhenying's unwitting hamster-slash-playmate.

-The way the ball works: it can keep beings captive and enable the holder to use their powers, like a magical Pokeball. Once something is inside, it can only be released by the one who initially captures it.

-So Li Zhenying used Diyong's power to get under and past the defensive formation undetected, because…she's bored and wanted to practice some Cuju, and just happened to run into two very lost and frustrated spider demons.

-They decided to stalk Red Son and Mei together, in their mini-spider forms——it was the former who had the backdoor key, after all, and without that, they wouldn't be able to get back to the mortal realm safely after snatching up the three items.

-So they crawled into the Peach Garden and lay in wait. And waited. And waited. And no one came. Then, when they tried to leave, they couldn't, and kept circling back to the same place until a 12 year old popped out of the ground and yelled "Stop right there, bug people!"

-They laughed. They stopped laughing when one of them got sucked into the embroidered ball like a Pokemon. The sight of a huge, muscular spider guy desperately running away from a little girl was still pretty comedic, though.

-He didn't last for long. Diyong started screeching inside the ball because ewwwww, spider people, gross! She's not into that and she doesn't want them as her future neighbors! Get them out of here, at once!

-Zhenying found her terror quite amusing, but ended up doing so because all the screaming was getting annoying. And that was what Hanzhi and Bi saw when they charged into the depth of the formation: Li Jing's youngest kid, swinging her toy around in a circle and sending two black dots flying into the sky.

-Hanzhi let out a silent Oh no at the sight. Bi let out a loud "You WHAT?!" as Li Zhenying explained her encounter with the spider people, and commented that pest control must be quite hard if all the bugs in here could grow into people.

-Bi proceeded to have a nervous breakdown because I let a spider demon infestation happen right under my nose and trapped Devaraja Li's daughter inside my formations, oh fuck, oh fuck, I'm so dead.

-He was too busy curling up in a ball and rocking back and forth to notice Hanzhi slipping away, an immortal peach hidden in her sleeves, to retrieve Red Son and Mei. Back at Tusita Heaven, however, the rest of the gang weren't having a good time.

-Ma had finished rambling about Jiang Ziya's great-great-however-many-times-great-grandson, the "Biggest Shame of Qi", and was about to narrate the start of their lineage's miserable downfall with a spiteful glee in her voice.

-MK asked her why she was so angry, which just made her more angry.

"Why am I so angry? Oh, I have no idea! Maybe it is because my bastard ex-husband wrote my name onto his oh-so-mystical-scroll and made sure I can't even DIE PROPERLY, boy! I raised his daughter after he divorced me and ran off to fight a war with his sorcerer friends, and this is how he repaid me——" "No, I mean, why are you so angry at people you've never met before? They are your kids and grandkids too, right?" "Exactly! I never got to meet them, and that's why they are a bunch of pathetic, dull-headed degenerates who got played like a fiddle by their own noble clans!" MK severely doubted that. "I never got to set them on the right path, grab them by 'em ears and scold them properly, match them up with good wives that weren't their own half-sister——for heaven's sake, that Duke Xiang, what was he even thinking?!" She paused. When she started speaking again, the indignance had drained away. "I never got to see any of them with me own two eyes, or speak to them, because I wasn't in their ancestral temple. I never got to meet any of them, and now they have been dead for thousands of years, and I…I couldn't even blame all of that on Jiang Ziya."

-For the first time since MK met her, the old woman fell silent. He was about to return to his own crisis of self-confidence when the entire furnace shook and violently toppled over, spilling him out onto the floor with a yelp.

"Go." She said, the tip of her broom still smoking, without sparing a single backward glance. "Scram back to your quarters, boy, before more of the Broom Star's bad luck rubbed off on you——"

-Then the lab's other wing exploded.

-Let's rewind back to the moment before this, when Kui Mulang was holding Tang hostage and threatening Pigsy into destroying his chains with a vial of corrosive chemicals.

-With no other choice, he complied, and the moment the last chain came apart with a sizzle, Kui Mulang shattered the cangue via his Stellar Beast transformation——but not before trying to stick the dagger into Tang anyways and failing, due to his golden barrier triggering in a panic.

-Turns out, it was these magical chains that truly shackled him and his powers, and the cangue was just additional humiliation.

"Ah, a thousand thanks to you," the beast's eyes narrowed into a slit, as it turned towards Tang, who was desperately trying to scramble away inside the golden bubble, "Golden Cicada. Now that you are a Bodhisattva, I bet your Body of Manifestation would taste even more divine."

-What ensued was a pure horror movie chase sequence, as the pair ran for their lives, toppling over shelves, throwing anything they could get their hands on at the Stellar Beast in the hope of slowing it down.

-The explosive reaction between two reagents did end up accomplishing that. Not hurting it permanently, but the big bang managed to draw Ma and MK's attention and stopped the former from asking too many questions.

-Turns out, being one of the 28 Lunar Mansions didn't actually protect you from the Broom Star's field of mundane bad luck.

-It wasn't enough to defeat Kui Mulang, and her comet attacks were doing no lasting damage, but he kept missing his targets by a tiny margin, or tripping and falling like a Looney Tunes character, or MK's staff just happened to knock a chunk of the ceiling loose and pin him down briefly…

-The problem was, her bad luck field worked on her allies too, and there were a lot of mutual misses and wacky fails, and the consequences were worse for MK than for their opponent.

-Red Son and Mei were on their way back with Hanzhi when they saw the commotion from afar; they basically dashed right into that one Community meme.

-Hanzhi assessed the situation briefly, told them she'd deal with Kui Mulang, while they went and grabbed their mortal friends, as well as whatever they needed from the lab, fast. Then she stepped back and unleashed the full might of the Wind Sack.

-The giant AOE attack caught all three combatants, lifted them off the ground, and firmly slammed them into the nearest standing wall, allowing Red Son to grab a very disoriented MK and rush away in the chaos.

-The fight was still ongoing when the gang hurriedly dragged the furnace into their drone, activated Red Son's backdoor key, and blasted off into the mortal realm. It didn't last much longer after the Thunder Bureau reinforcements arrived, led by Heavenly Lord of the Nine Thunders, Wen Zhong.

-Wen Zhong was a loyal man of principle in life, even more so after his deification, when he was basically made the head of the Celestial Justice Department (Thunder Bureau isn't just in charge of weather, but also divine retribution and punishment.)

-He's what a lot of people think Erlang should act like: grim, serious, utterly dedicated to maintaining order and justice, and an absolute powerhouse (he also has a third eye, btw).

-Hanzhi knew she wouldn't be getting any leniency from her senior brother this time, so she didn't even try to argue when he ordered his Thunder Generals to detain everyone involved and take them away for questioning.

-Bi Yuewu was interrupted from his mental breakdown by Star Lord Mao, who, like the majority of officials, had just been released from their end-of-day meeting when the Thunder Bureau received an emergency message from Tusita Heaven and flew off in a hurry.

-Putting two and two together, he quickly guessed that their old squad leader had broken free, and went to gather the rest of the White Tiger Mansion stars for their own emergency meeting. Bi was the first person he seeked out, and the situation…didn't look all that great.

-But Rooster Man, being the good bro he was, listened patiently to Bi's story, and told him it wouldn't be a problem. He'd take Li Zhenying home to her brothers, let them come up with a cover story, while the spider problem…well, that was what his Stellar Beast form was for, wasn't it?

-A few miles below, two tiny spiders, still falling towards the mortal realm, suddenly heard a rooster's crowing and were struck by the worst headache they ever experienced.

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk au #lmk au art #lmk oc #journey of the gods #investiture of the gods #fsyy #jttw #lmk mk #lmk red son #lmk mei #kui mulang #lmk kui mulang

23 notes · View notes