#att: double face trip

[seasonally-inappropriate-sleeves]

i was looking at the double face album covers and only just noticed on the trip album that they're not just kind of floating in space with kohaku holding onto madara's collar, and instead kohaku is laying back on the ground and pulling madara down on top of him. i can't stop laughing. all the other album covers are so normal? why is this one so horny? how is this official art?

[mortemersgf]

beckett & MC headcanons

a/n: random post i threw together lol beckett enjoyers come get ur food… lmk if u ever wanna be added/removed from the taglist!

taglist: @mm2305 @holystxne @simpforbeckett @itsjustwinter @theclassycandy @sylviefilms @bluebellot

rating: R – be warned there are themes of PTSD, anxiety, insomnia, descriptions of scars, suggestive, NSFW 18+ headcanons which i’ve sectioned off in this post. please be advised and read with caution <3

- because eden and beckett quite literally grew up in different worlds, they have endless options when it comes to summer vacations. they spend half of their time in the attuneless world, the other half in the magickal world, acting as tour guides for one another.

- eden has a blast making up bizarre facts about tuneless things to trick the ever gullible beckett. she doubles down laughing when he realizes she’s messing with him.

- beckett always carries a camera with him when they go on trips. he purchased his first camera to capture photos of flora and fauna he would encounter on his ~ scientific nature ~ walks, and he’s gotten really good at photography. aside from greenery, eden is the subject of all his photographs.

- eden, on the other hand, snaps the randomest pictures of beckett with her phone. her photo album features beckett taking naps with his eyes slightly open, him shirtless doing morning yoga, eating something mid-bite, pointing out exhibits and plants in museums and nature, etc.

- it embarrasses beckett to no end and he’s always whining about his ‘reputation being ruined’ if those pictures were to somehow leak.

- study dates, so many study dates. you can always find the pair in the library, local cafe, laboratory, sun/metal-att classrooms, or their dorms working on assignments, projects, experiments, or training. eden and beckett are powerful magickal users within their respective attunements, and they learn a lot from each other.

- book nerd beckett who annotates whatever he reads for eden because he knows she’s as much of a nerd as he is.

- he’ll comment on magickal theories, share his own thoughts, and give more insight on certain sections of content so that eden has a bit more context. she’s still learning her way around the magickal world, and beckett wants to help in any way he can.

- they’d read on the couch together, sometimes the same book, sometimes different. every so often when they’re engrossed in the same book, beckett will read aloud and eden would hum quietly, resting her head on his chest.

- early bird beckett and night owl eden. beckett who’s waking up, greeted by eden who is finally tuckered out enough to sleep.

TW - allusion to PTSD, anxiety, insomnia, repeated nightmares, descriptions of scars in the next section.

- eden isn’t a night owl out of her own volition. sometimes, she has trouble sleeping, remembering battles, killing raife, kane hurting her friends.

- her heart beats so fast she thinks she might be back in the battlefield, fending off shadow monsters while fretting over her friends’ safety.

- beckett isn’t any better at times. he’d wake up with a start in the middle of the night, having one of those nightmares where raife and kane had taken his friends from him, taken eden from him.

- the two of them stay up until the early hours of morning, talking about everything and nothing at all to soothe each other’s worries, promising one another they’ll always face everything together, no matter what.

- because of the many fights they’ve been in, they’ve earned themselves countless scars. when they shower together, they can’t help but marvel at the patches of skin that are discolored and textured from being stitched closed on each other.

- eden likes tracing the large scar beckett has right down the middle of his back. she can’t help pressing her lips to his right shoulder blade from where the scar begins.

- eden’s favorite place to kiss beckett; however, are the apples of his cheeks. she likes cupping his face and bringing him really close so she can count the freckles dotting his skin. she’ll laugh when she notices his face growing pink and pepper kisses all over, deepening that shade of pink to a bright red.

- beckett’s favorite place to kiss eden is her neck. once he found out that’s her sensitive area, he uses it to his full advantage to render her incoherent. he’s always sputtering and blushing from her teasing, so it pleases him deeply seeing eden all flustered when he presses light kisses along her throat.

CW - NSFW 18+ hcs begin here!

- eden is a big tease, but beckett shouldn’t be discounted as one either, especially in bed. he likes to test her breaking point, so orgasm denial/control is a big thing for him. he feels feral seeing eden all flushed and glistening and pliant just for him.

- to elaborate, beckett likes drawing out eden’s pleasure. he likes making her feel good, and he wants the sex to last as long as possible because it’s a really intimate act after all. rushing through it never feels as good as it does when he takes his time with her.

- however, on the occasion they can’t spare hours exploring each other’s bodies, they turn to quickies.

- beckett is less a fan of them than eden, who finds enjoyment in the neediness, greedy touches, and searing kisses that come with quickies.

- most of them happen in the shower. whether it be in the morning when they have class soon or in the evening and they have a dinner reservation to make, trust they’ll find time to fuck.

- beckett can be dominant, yeah, but he also has a subby side, and he trusts eden will take good care of him just as he does with her.

- sometimes, beckett gets so whiny and whimpery for eden she has to shut him up with a gag or a really deep kiss that steals his breath away, leaving him dizzy.

- beckett enjoys fighting for control, as does eden. they’re competitive by nature and their contesting knows no end. the satisfaction of being the winner adds to the pleasure, and they’re all smug until the other one flips the role.

- eden never cares to hide that she ogles beckett, especially when he’s under her. beckett with his pink, freckled cheeks, mussed up hair, and well defined muscles all slick with sweat, throwing his head back to moan… eden can’t help but let her eyes and hands wander.

- cleanup takes seconds (hint: magick) so after sex, they can spend up to hours in bed, talking and cuddling and laughing.

- there’s gonna be some teasing, like “i can’t believe how loudly you moaned!” or “you bent that lighting fixture out of shape again!” eden owns up to it, but beckett will groan in embarrassment as she pokes fun at him. that usually ends with him attacking her with an onslaught of kisses or another round.

- eden knowing blood magick is a big bonus. she’s gotten good at soothing pain, so if one of them feels sore the next morning, she’ll just cast a neat lil spell to take the aches away.

- those two suck at being subtle. when they go on vacation with the rest of the pend pals and their friends see a stream of light or the sound of metal bending coming from beckett and eden’s room, they all share a knowing look (atlas shares more than a look, she audibly gags).

- doesn’t really matter how quiet they’re being, their friends know what’s up when they see eden’s glowing face and beckett’s awkward shuffle into the living room, as well as his turtleneck that he certainly wasn’t wearing before…

[crossxskulled]

Mailing chocolates, it seemed, was too impersonal. The Japanese tradition was to give them in person, was it not? And as a surprise, at that. That left Sonia with only one option. She would have to give Ryuji the Valentine’s Day treats she’d arranged herself and with little explanation as to why she needed to meet him that day. Hopefully, he wouldn’t ask too many questions about why she wanted to meet in one of Shibuya’s parks, as opposed to the usual convenience stores and inexpensive restaurants they often visited. She didn’t think it was right to bring such gifts to a dining establishment and she certainly couldn’t visit his home. Thankfully, Haru had been a wonderful help correcting the Princess of Novoselic some of the cultural implications that, at home, would have been a non-issue.

“I hope this wasn’t too terribly inconvenient for you, and I’m not sure if you even like these really,” Sonia began, surprising herself by dancing around the point she was trying to make. At least she spoke clearly and smiled through it all. “But I hope you accept these Valentine’s Day chocolates. Happy Valentine’s Day, Ryuji-san!”

Inside the golden yellow box and coordinating bow, rows of pyramid-shaped dark chocolate candies and round milk chocolate truffles were neatly arranged. The dark chocolates were filled with dark chocolate ganache and liquid fondant to be tiny lava chocolates that would ooze upon biting past the outer shell. But the milk chocolates were filled with chocolate-hazelnut filling, far less messy, and rolled in crushed macadamia nuts. “I remember you telling me about your class trip to Hawaii, the one you seemed to quite enjoy with your friends! I’ve never been myself, but I thought a chocolate volcano and macadamia nuts might remind you of a wonderful time.”

___________________________

☠ - Time managed to bleed through his hands despite a shift of a holiday, hardly slowing, rather, keeping that same pace of trickling sands while he pushed through his training on this day. Motivation and a return to old form blew the blonde’s mind in ways he could’ve of perceived. So what better day to productively blow all that energy than at the gym? Through the help of his old coach and upperclassmen by the name of Ikeda, a regimen that remains rigorous, reward and perfect for warding off the rust across his body’s specifics was the goal for this Valentine’s day.

Gaining a small bounty of friendship chocolate had been a unforeseen boon that only made him double down. Seeing the smiling faces of those knuckleheads had been too much of a damn treat not to do anything less. (Taking Yusuke out to get a good meal as a miniature get-together had also fit into that equation.)

If only he could’ve known why Haru kept such a doting voice of knowing in her town. Ryuji simply brushed it off as a means of her being jovial in the atmosphere, enjoying the time no different than he had.

One text message however completely altered the route of his plans like a fork in the river. Business was business and his partners at the gym kindled a brand of training related friendship. So of course knowing the season, there he was being tacked on out with a number of teases, especially seeing how February serves as the season for some to shoot their shot, couples to get more couple-y, while some managed to romanticize facets of romance to make the world look a touch more sunshine and rainbows.

‘Too bad’ that with a huff and a laugh, he’d call them all some bastards after he freshened up, changed, and rolled out back to the busy streets. Like a bolt amidst a mass of sky,. he’s nimble and dedicated to his beeline, wading his way through the day filled with either saturated hopes or the jaded atmosphere as Inokashira Park remains the place to meet with a girl who’s pleasantly been in his thoughts. Just thinking of a touch of their previous ventures makes a chuckle rumble in his chest.

Oh yeah. There sure as hell was a good deal of memories they’ve made since their arrangement while having a blooming friendship.

“Yo, Sonia!” His cheerful voice would soon call as the scenery of an opened sky is replaced with the natural roofing of branches and trees. That had caught her attention, leading to them catching eyes and suddenly having her.. look a touch bashful?  Or maybe that skittered in his imagination. Just being met with a soft nod while she balanced something in her hands was a little weird? Here he was much more adjusted to a upbeat prestige or the excitable questions to explore a world that cast refined inclination to the side.

”My bad it took me a lil longer than usual to hop on the scene here.” He begins, grunting in distaste at his tardiness. “The short notice caught me att middle up at the gymmmm-- ah ah, not that it’s a big deal or anything!” That definitely had to be set once she made mentions of inconvenience! Heading out for someone he cares for always had a priority even if there were routine plans for a day. ...And now that he’s getting a better look at this whole situation. Wasn’t that introduction of her’s a touch too kind while she swayed a bit in her spot? Once their eyes met with a gentle glare of sunlight remaining in between, the answer soon arrives, dressed up in an ornate box that makes his eyes pop open a deal wider while unceremoniously dropping that duffel bag of his to the ground.

Unexpected? Unexpected. Somehow that mind of his couldn’t translate the moment at hand while his eyes shoot open like saucers at the ornate box she presents between them both! Seeing that particular design as if she plucked this from the lap of luxury... That made the ticker within his chest speed on up, for real. ‘Wha wha wha.. Whoa! Hold on! Am I seein’ this right!? I.. She had plans of hauling some of these to me?! People usually just roll these out in the hand bags! But this.. I-’ Any other thoughts failed to meet the mark of coherency as he could only stop, stare, and just drink in the view of that familiar smile and the presented box set before him.

Soon a pair of mildly shaky hands would come to take it. No longer was it the aftermath of a good workout that supplied such heat, nor the hot shower taken before making his way on down here. The act in offering this gift itself had burned a fuzzy brand of energy through him while his fingers braced upon the box and drew it a touch closer. Naturally too curious for his own good, this led him to a world of intricate design, for chocolate of all the damn things! Being a more modest and moderate fan had left him ignorant to the designs outside of chocolate bars to bats and eyes on the Halloween days.

Seeing the spread while hearing the story began to tack so many of the pieces together. Antsy thoughts were quelled by the truth of her intentions, the inspiration as to why they’re designed this way and kindness shuffled into each and every one. Had she really been thinking that deeply over one of their past times while getting this fixed up?

So to see Sonia place that much care into him causes a soft sensation to well up as the dominate point of feeling. Settled upon his face was a genuine look of contentment swirled together with a touch of gratitude. “You.. Really went through a damn lot, huh? I mean.. Look at these! So frickin’ cool and designed like people draw with chocolate!” His enthusiasm instantly takes the charge while he glosses over them, taking a touch longer to notice how the play of positioning also added to that! This for sure got a ‘Yoooooooooooo!’ strained from his lips as his eyes instantly sparkled with joy.

”Almost doesn’t make me wanna eat ‘em.. Almost! Maybe I can keep a few for a touch longer and..” Noticing that his delight might’ve had him going on a small tangent made him a touch self-conscious, causing him to seize up while a soft laughter escapes from him. If it wasn’t clear from his expression alone within their momentary getaway of the park’s atmosphere, Ryuji here was really pleased with the gift. ..To the point that somehow the whole Valentine aspect hadn’t reigned as the highest mark of importance.

Spending some more time with her instinctively feels like the best bet in his eye. Taking good care in the way he closes the box, the dropped bag is quickly swiped up before he makes a charged point to one of the sites of scenery appreciating seating off to the side.

“In that case! You sure as hell unlocked a route to some more funny stories! C’mon- how about we try some of these together while we kick back for a while?”

....

“Oh and uh.” This much would be said as they pressed off to the selected spot. “Happy Valentines Day to ya too, Sonia. Thanks for this..”

Today would be another one filled with fun promise.

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

winter reminiscence pt . 2

Summary: Upon meeting Timothee on the bus, Y/N goes to her favorite bookstore, while Timothee goes out to his study place, to get their minds off of each other. Unfortunately, for both of them it is a small world they live in and luck was not on their side, or was it?

word count: 1,967                                                                                     reading time aprox: 7 mins

timothee's pov

From the turn the bus had taken after she had gotten off to a few stations down, I sat despairingly in my seat, cooped up in evident mental suppression. I ran my fingers through my curls, while my other hand played with the ‘Columbia University’ tassel that hung from my side pocket, scanning the surroundings and finding the bus a ghost town. 

“Kid, this is the last stop” The bus driver announced over the loudspeaker, the wheels screeching to a halt, catching my attention.

“Sorry, thank you” I apologized, apprehensively waving a hand to gesture my atonement. With that I stepped off the bus and made my merry way to the coffee shop where I would buy my daily dose of caffeine. 

The sign read “bon café” in luminescent script, surrounded by cartoons of miniature succulents and vines that draped across the cafe’s door frame. The aesthetic of the place reminded me of the trips to Marseille with my dad whenever I’d fly to France to meet him. The greek inspired textured walls, the little ornaments of boats, and the paintings of water would be what my father called “la plus belle époque architecturale”.

Standing by the counter, I took my place in line while listening to the muted tracks of ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘White Christmas’ that battled against the chatter that filled the atmosphere. As soon as I got to the front, I ordered a hot chocolate and a buttered bagel, knowing that I was going to be here for a while. 

I picked up my order from the counter, and chose a two-seater in the corner where a single ficus stood, an overhead light illuminating the table. I rested my Anthropology textbook in front of me, opening to the review page as I studied for my Midterms. 

The rings of the welcome bell by the front door would take me out of my concentration, although I tried to focus on the material in front of me. But what really did it for me was the change of music in the place, the cheery seasonal playlist was swapped out for a Beatles song, specifically, ‘Here Comes The Sun’, more specifically:

her favorite song

It seemed as if I suddenly forgot how to read as my eyes scanned the same phrase over and over again. With this, I closed the book aggressively, shutting my eyes in irritation and dragging my hands over my face. In addition to this, as the song ended, ‘She Loves You’, another song from the beatles, came on. 

With a groan, I rested my head on the surface of the table, banging my head in attempt to physically shake out all the sensations and memories I wish I regretted. 

-

“She’s my best friend Y/N! Why can’t you understand that” I muttered in a low tone, pinching the bridge of my nose as I tried to keep this stupid and unreasonable fight to rest. 

“I’m not saying I don’t understand Timmy, I get it! She’s your best friend and I understand that completely. But how do you expect me to react when she’s telling all her little friends that you, quote on quote, told her you wanted to kiss her” She counteracted, crossing her arms while shaking her head at me, which seemed to fuel me even more.  

“That’s how we joke around and it was through text. Gosh, can you even take a joke?” I justified

“So that’s joking around, huh. Right Timmy? That’s joking around” She asked, sarcasm dripping off every word she spoke. “But whenever another guy dm’s me, suddenly, you want to log into my account to check them out and then magically they get erased from my message box. Right Timmy?” 

I stood silent as anger began bubbling through my veins, traveling upwards towards my face as rouge began to show through my pale skin. With clenched fists, and gritted teeth, I managed to get out “So what do you want me to do, huh, do you want to stop being friends with her?” 

“That’s not what I’m saying Chalamet, I’m literally just here confronting you on a situation that I’ve heard of” She stated, letting out a breath as her passive-aggressive words slipped out from her lips. 

“But that’s what you want, don’t you? You want me to stop talking to her?”

“That’s not what I’m sayi-”

“No you tell me” I stated firmly, cutting her off mid-sentence. “If that’s what it takes for you to drop this, I will” I confessed, staring at her blankly, my lips frozen in a line. 

“Yes” She nodded, sighing as she rubbed the side of her temples. “But I don’t want you to do it, if you really don’t want to. I don’t want to sacrifice your convenience for mine” She added on, her natural compassion trickling into her speech. 

Taking out my phone, I searched up the contact that I had of my best friend and with a little hesitation, clicked the block button and placed my phone back in my pocket. 

“There” I replied dryly. “Anything for you” 

-

y/n’s pov

Trudging through the melted ice, I made my way to a modest bookstore that nobody really knew about. It was in a quaint neighborhood in Brooklyn that had old fashioned cobble streets, filled with extraordinary and history filled antique shops, charming eateries and cafes, museums, and statues of people long gone.

Quickening my pace, I pushed against the glass door and into the, fortunately, heated space filled with countless amounts of literature. What I loved about this secret library was that it was a hidden gem in the area as it isn’t particularly visible compared to the garnished and well-decorated buildings beside it. 

The plain peach walls and the small reading benches created a cozy atmosphere, a perfect place to sit down and embark on adventures through other people’s written words. 

Shimmying through the aisles, my fingers ran to touch the spines of the old books as I, once again, found myself in between the ‘coming-of-age’ and ‘historical dramas’ section. Closing my eyes, I continued to feel the books until I landed on a random novel, plucking it out of the shelf, I opened my eyes to see printed “Little Women” as the title. 

With a curious smile, I read the blurb eager to set upon another expedition. Maybe one to get my mind off of my own trying times. It seemed to be about four sisters, set back in the Civil War Era, that described the values of poverty and family. 

Approving the book, I read the first few pages and walked over to the counter, where a brittle old lady with an obnoxious hat and humongous reading glasses sat idle. 

“Good afternoon” I greeted, handing her the copy I had taken from the shelf, waiting patiently as she tried finding the barcode for the book. 

“Little Women I see, I remember when I was about your age I would find myself gravitating towards this book again and again” She grinned, releasing a hearty chuckle that ended up in a coughing fit. “Pardon me, I guess the old lungs don’t work like they ought to” She admitted. 

Throughout her spiel, numerous scans had been demonstrated and nothing but a red bulb light up, indicating there was some sort of error. “Oh golly me, I apologize for the inconvenience young lady. I guess I’m not the only one getting old” She joked. 

I politely joined in, but ultimately grimaced as she proceeded to bang on the machine with unknowing force. “This might be a while” She bashfully disclosed. “If anything, please feel free to browse, this’ll be about 15 to 30 minutes”

With a courteous nod, I notified her of my return later on as I stepped outside of the store, basking in the imposing village around me. With a breath of fresh air, my eyes landed on an archaic coffee shop embellished with shrubbery across the street to where I was. 

I squinted my eyes at the outside menu plastered on a chalkboard near the entrance, although my nearsightedness limited me as I only recognized blots of white chalk and of what looked like script. 

An abrupt grumbling noise broke the quiet air and I felt a twist in my stomach. Suddenly, I felt the craving for a chocolate croissant and maybe a brownie or three. The scent traveling from the crepe cart near me didn’t help with the situation, my sense of smell lolling in the piquant aroma. 

I walked across the street clutching my stomach as I was rather not keen in being cold and hungry. The glass front came into view, squaring in on various college students chatting about or studying and business men absorbed into typing furiously on their laptops. 

Opening the door, I was instantly hugged by the smell of coffee and the warmth provided by the old fashioned heaters, finding a spot on line to order a few things.

timothee’s pov

The ringing of the cafe bell snapped me out of my thoughts, bringing me back to reality, where I suppressed those memories in the back of my head. Opening my textbook once again, I forced myself to invest my full fledged attention to the course. 

At least that was the initial plan, when a phone dropped in front of my table for the second time today, causing me to do a double take as the scene from my memories has discernibly come to life in front of me.

y/n’s pov

“Shit!” I cursed gracefully, tripping over an old rug and hearing the sound of my phone’s impending doom. With a sigh, I turned around with a croissant stapled to my lips and a brownie bag in one hand. “I’m so sorry-” I mumbled through the baked good, but stopped when found my phone in the same place as it was before. 

Realization hit me and mortification soon inundated my stance, my current appearance giving a sharp blow to my dignity as Timothee sat handsomely in his seat. 

“You seriously need pants with deeper pockets” He quipped, handing me my phone with an uncomfortable smile. Gazing at my state with condolence. 

“Thank you...” I paused, “Again for, you know, saving my phone” I replied stiffly. Never meeting his fixed stare, I focused on the tips of my shoelaces, reminiscing on my favorite episode of Phineas and Ferb, my thoughts carelessly diverting my attention to these fond memories. 

“So, um, how have you been?” He asked with a tight smile, folding his textbook close. 

“I’ve been great” I replied a little too enthusiastically like I had something to prove. I looked at him chastely, noticing the flecks of brown in his irises, something I’d spend hours fixated on when we’d lie in bed. “How’s college going on for you?” I asked, referring to the book in front of him. 

“Oh yeah, college, it’s difficult, I guess” He answered with a dry chuckle, scratching the back of his head. 

Sensing the unpleasantness in the air, I nodded at him and smiled, the chattering voices in the background unable to fill the awkward silence between us. “Um, anyway. I best be going” I said, the words basically fumbling out from my tongue. 

I hastily reeled around, making a full 180 as my heartbeat threatened to fall out of my chest with the pace it’s been going at. Tucking my phone in my back pocket, I pursued an escape route from the arduous ambience. 

However, the action was pulled to a halt when I felt an all too familiar hand grip my wrist falteringly. 

“Wait” 

Timothee spoke with a dawdling and reluctant voice, in which I turned around prudently, looking into his unreadable eyes. 

But at least this time, he was looking back at mine. 

-

finale

[futurepurplepaladin]

When I’m With You I’m Home- Part 1

Anonymous: 11+15+73+81 for lance reuniting with an s/o he left on earth

11) “Wow, you look… amazing.”

15) ““When I’m with you, I’m home.”

73) ““Please don’t say goodbye.”

81) “Come with me.”

Word Count: ALOT

Who: Lance x Reader

Warnings: Nope clean fluff- one cuss word (H E Double Hockey Sticks)

Hope you enjoy!!!

—————-

“Bye, Auntie!”

“Bye, y/n, be back before sundown- I dont want you out in the dark!”

“Alrightie- byeeee!”

You closed the door of the small house you and your aunt shared, then closing the gate in front. FOr some reason that gate never closed right, leaving a loud bang of metal behind you.

You walked quickly off your steps, reaching for your surfboard as you sprint down to the ocean.

--------

Your house was very close to the ocean, a 5 minute walk at the most. Today was one of those blissful days; no tourists, no surfer guys trying to grab your attention- complete and utter calm.

You sat on the warm sand, relishing the feeling of scrunching your toes in the softness. You were wearing a “Coca Cola” crop top, which you took off for the long day ahead. You wore your traiditonal bathing suit, a white halter top bikini set. You tied your hair up into a quick bun (which you knew would come out during a wipe out), strapped the board to your ankle, and rain for the waves.

--------

Surfing took your mind off everything. Off the “accident.” The sorrow your town still felt, even though it had happened a year and a half ago. You still saw the McClains’ to this day, and seeing their smiles etched still with pain hurt you more than the fact everyone “pretended” Lance was alive even though they secretly gossiped that he was dead. It reminded you that you were just like them: still hurting.

Lance and you had been friends since childhood, running with sticks, pretending they were lightsabers and running after lizards. You guys were inspereable. He was the one who taught you how to surf. You were the one who introduced him to space. The whole neighborhood used to tease you two when you were young calling LAnce your “Little Lover” and you his “Little Miss.” You both pretended you hated it, looking at each other in disgust. You usual reaction was to give him a dirty look and say “HIm?” UGHHHHHH!”, and to make a barfing noise. LAnce’s usual thing was puff out his chest and say, “Me and her? Nuh uh, Im a bachelor- I got to many ladies to pick through!”

Forever it was like that- pretending to only be friends, until the day you two began to grow up, seeing not their chilldhood friend but a crush.

Both you and Lance enrolled into the Garrison, and you both got in. You waited to open up your GArrison letters together, and you to met at the beach, ripping up your letters feverishly. You pulled out the acceptance letters and you both screamed in glee. Lance had grabbed your hand, making you dance in the wet sand as waves lapped at your feet, him still screaming and you laughing out of glee.

Then came the “Congratulation” parties, then the Going Away parties, then off to the Garrison you went.

You had excpected to be in Lance’s team (being the engineer), but you didnt. You two were upset- but quickly got over it saying- “Its for the best. We gotta part ways some days Feo.” You used his nickname on him, and he laughed nervously. But Lance began to drift away, and as hard as you tried to keep him with you- you couldnt. His new friends, and his rivalry with Keith was keeping him to busy to be with you, and you began to not love LAnce but despise him. He kept running off, getting people in trouble, and he wasnt being the same. HUnk and Pidge were nice, you had classes with them, so they weren’t the issue.

You confronted LAnce one night, the very night he disappeared. Your bottled up emotions exploded when he told you he was sneaking off outside the GArrison.

“So, your just going to leave?! Because Lance does what he wants, when he wants to, huh?” you yelled glaring at him.

“I dont need you to tell me what I cant or cant do! You dont control me!”

“You’re being an idiot, Lance!”

“Your just jealous Im doing better than you! You don't want to see me do well and have fun- you didnt help me when Keith was being a jerk, because you know Im more talented, more social, and more fun than you are! You barely have friends, while everyone knows my name!”

“First of all-” you know what, forget it you wouldnt understand!” you felt tears pickling your eyes. “Just go.”

Lance knew you like the back of his hand- he knows when he over stepped it.

“Wait- y/n, Im sorry, i didnt really-”

“JUST GO!” you looked up at him, letting you tears run freely, and you walked to your room, and slammed the door, sliding down against it, and broke down.

---------

You replayed this moment for the millionth time as you sat on your surfboard, where the waves were calm.

You felt guilty for that night, feeling it was your fault for pushing LAnce away. You saw LAnce’s rivalry with Keith as stupid, knowing Keith was a better pilot, but didnt want to hurt your friend’s feelings by telling him that. He started to get mad and wanted somebody to listen after you would change the subject quickly when he brought it up, so he started talking to Hunk, who was to nice NOT to listen. You had no friends (besides maybe Pidge and HUnk) because you were so busy trying to get back LAnce, even though he kept brushing you off. You felt you had lost your best friend, and maybe it could have been something more. It wasnt your fault, you knew that, but- you wished you had done something different. Didnt deal with him like that.

The waves calmed you. Bittersweet moments like this came back to you, and little moments with LAnce you treasured. The times you would trip on cracks in the road when you were little, and he was the one that bandaged your cuts. The time your were Leia and he was Han for Halloween. The time he surprised you with a birthday cake for your birthday, but had forgotten to add sugar, and in an attempt to cover up the very flat cake had put globs of icing as big as ice cream scoops all over. You smiled at this one, remembering how the taste was so terrible that you spit the cake out in his face, and he was running around grossed out of his mind with half eaten cake all over his front while you sat laughing so hard your stomach hurt for hours after the incident.

You felt a tear roll off your cheek. You wiped it away. Remembering hurt, but forgetting would hurt worse.

--------

The sun began to set, and you realized you had to go home.

You sighed, because everything was perfect- the sand was cast in a golden honey glow as the sun began to lay upon the horizon. The water was being colored not blue, but soft shades of baby pink, fiery red, and hibiscus orange. The air was cool, and the smell of sea salt filled your noise.

The day had been a long one. You did have some wipe outs, which made your your hair turn into loose ringlets from the sea salt. You brushed your hair to the side, and began to pick up your things until-

A faint sound of a purr came over you, something was flying-you gasped, seeing a blue robotic lion fly past your head and to the far side of the beach.

You gasped. It couldn’t be-

You began to fast walk cautiously to the giant cat. Was it really him? How the hell is he here? Where has he been? Is it really him?

You saw the lion, far off, beginning to crouch. It opened its large mouth, and you saw a man clawed in blue armor step out-he was paler than before, his hair was longer, but it had to be-

“LANCE!” you screamed, realizing who was in front of you. You broke into a run, trying to catch your footing on the sand. You saw him turn to face you, and you were close enough know to see his face break into a huge smile.

“Y/N!!!” He screamed back, breaking into a run just like yours.

You grabbed each other, and held on tight. Loads of questions began to fill your mouth, and all Lance could do was repeat, “I’ve missed you, I’ve missed you guys so much!” Into your hair.

“Lance where have you been, everyone’s been worried sick, I’ve missed you, I thought you were dead, what happened, God I wanted to say sorry to you for so long- Ive MISSED YOU!” You wanted to cry- the thing you wanted most was back in your life: Lance was back.

He spun you in the air, like he did so many years ago on the day you were accepted into the Garrison. You both laughed, and you stayed there, him holding your waist, and you having your hands wrapped around his neck.

“I’ve missed you a lot Lance…” you smiled softly, putting your forehead on his. The butterflies came back, tickling your stomach gently.

“I’ve missed you a lot too y/n- I’ve always wanted to tell you something and I was always too scared to- but I realized life’s too quick to keep stuff to yourself.”

You were hanging on to his every word, anticipating what he’d say. He looked nervous, almost embarrassed to say what he was trying to tell you, and that made the butterflies fly around in your stomach more fiercely than before.

“I like you y/n, like a lot, and I know you probably-“

In a spurt of courage and happiness, you grabbed his face and kissed him.

Sparks flew- he tasted like cherries, you tasted like salt water.

You pulled apart, realizing your feet were back in the sand again- “Wow”, LAnce said breathlessly.

You chuckled softly, watching his light blue eyes turn indigo in the Cuban sunset.

Realization hit him, noticing you were only in your bathing suit.

“Wow, you look amazing,” he didn’t say this in his flirty voice, he didn’t mean it like that- it shocked you to hear he was genuinely complimenting you (for once).

And you did. You found surfing was your outlet to deal with Lance’s dissapaperance. But it wasn’t always like this though. For a long time, the grief of Lance cost you to kind of give up. The Garrison brought back to many painful memories, so you left. When you got back home, that brought me memories to; you stayed in your room, you didn’t come out for meals- it was like you disappeared too. But in an attempt to bring you back, your Aunt lovingly locked you out of the house and told you not to come back until you did something OUTSIDE of your room. You sat on the ground for a while, confused on what to do: it had been awhile since you had been outside. You opened your garage, and saw Lances blue and white surfboard- he had left it at your house before leaving- you grabbed it, feeling a surge of new found energy. You grabbed it and ran to the ocean.

You got addicted- your aunt almost called the police one night because she thought you got kidnapped- but she went down to ocean and found you there, swimming in the pitch black waves. She literally almost had a heart attack- but she knows better than to stop you. It helps you.

Now your muscles were taught, your personality was back, and you could think clearer than before.

“Im glad your home,” you say softly, putting your head in the crook of his neck.

“When Im with you…. Im home,” he replied, holding you tightly and stroking your hair.

You breathing hitched, hearing these few words that meant everything, but you breathed out again and smiled.

Realization swarmed you, your smile turned straight,, and you pushed off his body. LAnce was shocked and confused, and you shouted, “Where have you been?”

Lance’s blush deepened, and he scratched his neck- “Well, um- its kind of a long sto-”

“Getting busy over there LAnce?” a voice taunted in front of you; the voice was undefiable as male or female- but you recognized it at once.

“Wait is that- PIDGE?”

Part 2 comin soon!

[chooseywoozy]

The Elementalists: Chapter One - Open Enrollment

Now playing as… someone not quite yourself.

The wind whips across your face as you race through barren trees, trying to put some distance between you and the creature chasing you!

Shadow Monster: RAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!

The force of the monster’s roar shakes the ground beneath your feet! You trip at the edge of a pool of black water, catching a glimpse of your scratched and muddy face in the process…

You: Come on, get up. Keep moving!

You dig your fingers into the black soil, pushing yourself toward the mirror you’ve been desperately seeking…

You: Just… a little… further!

When suddenly the beast crashes through the trees just behind you! You roll onto your back as the creature thunders toward your prone body! Out of options, you throw your hands up, and a searing energy pulses through your fingertips!

You: Yueguang Trabem!

(NOW PLAYING AS HELL)

You bolt upright in your bed, clutching your chest.

Hell: That… that felt so real!

Your phone buzzes aggressively on the nightstand, and you look over to see that it’s almost ten. Your alarm has been going off for almost two hours.

Hell: Crap! I’m gonna be late for that meeting with my advisor!

You scramble out of bed and dash to your closet to throw something on… Once you’re dressed, you bolt out the door… Not noticing someone watching you from inside the mirror. You run into your advisor’s office without a moment to spare and drop into the chair across from her desk.

Hell: Sorry! I overslept.

Ms. Robertson: You’re not late, so that’s quite alright, Ms…

She rifles through some papers on her desk.

Hell: Just Hell is fine.

Ms. Robertson: Hell, right. Forgive me. I’m used to dealing with more… troubled students.

She finds the right file and slides behind her desk. As she scans the pages, she frowns.

Ms. Robertson: By all accounts, you’re a perfect student. It’s only a couple of weeks into the quarter, but your grades and attendance are excellent. So I’ve got to ask, Hell. Why are you here?

Hell: It’s hard to describe. I know I should be happy. But I’m just… not. I try so hard, but no matter what I do, it all just feels like… like I’m sitting in a waiting room or something. And no one ever calls my name.

Ms. Robertson: And… what is it exactly that you’re waiting for?

Hell: I guess I’m looking for a life of adventure!

Ms. Robertson: What?

Hell: A life exploring new worlds, collecting ancient artifacts glowing with mysterious powers… That’s not too much to ask, is it?

Ms. Robertson: Those are certainly some original aspirations. But I can’t help you live in a fantasy world, Hell.

Hell: Yeah, I know. I’m only joking. I just wish I knew what I was looking for. Whatever it is… it’s not this.

Ms. Robertson: I know you’re at a crossroads right now. And one of the directions you could go would mean dropping out of Hartfeld.

Hell: It crossed my mind…

Ms. Robertson: Please don’t do it. When this phase you’re in ends, you don’t want to discover that you’ve given up your chance to get a degree, do you?

Hell: But… but what if you’re wrong? What if it’s not a phase?

Ms. Robertson: I tell you what. WHy don’t you go home and think about it? Will you do that for me?

Hell: Sure. I… I guess I can do that.

Later, you stand in the bathroom of your suite and look at yourself squarely in the mirror in front of you.

Hell: I know you belong somewhere. I know there’s more to you than this.

Suddenly, the lights in the room flicker!

Hell: What the hell…?

Something catches your attention out of the corner of your eye… A glint in the bathroom mirror.

Hell: Huh? Why do I look like this? What the hell! That’s… That looks like my face, but…

You raise a hand to your face, but when your reflection doesn’t move, you freeze. The mirror itself looks a little odd… Almost shimmery.

Hell: Am I… Am I dreaming again?

You reach a shaky hand toward the mirror, and when your fingers touch the surface, they press into the glass!

Hell: Whoa!

You try to pull back, but your hand won’t come free! Your palm starts to sink into the glass, then your forearm, and before you know it…

Hell: Wait, wait, wa--

Your whole body is sucked through! Rushing water yanks you forward, forcing you to squeeze your eyes shut against the current! Just as you feel your lungs starting to strain, a splash comes from your right! You feel a pair of strong, sturdy arms wrap around your middle and pull you to the water’s surface! You feel yourself being dragged onto dry land and sputter as you wipe the water from your eyes. You try to get your bearings, taking a moment to gape at your surroundings…

Hell: Wh-Where…

In front of you is a picturesque collection of cozy looking buildings with steepled roofs, a manicured lawn, and an ostentatious statue out front. But as you gawk, the carved marble figure keeps moving around, and overhead, people fly around on a variety of objects including an ottoman, a broom, and an ornamental rug!

Hell: This is… This isn’t real. Right? Where…

???: Hey, hey! You’re okay, I got you. You’re a new student here, right?

Hell: … I am a student.

???: Great! You missed the Hall of Mirrors by a mile, but you made it. Welcome to Penderghast College of Elemental Magicks. Since it’s the first day of the new semester, we should probably get you to the dining hall for orientation. If you’re feeling okay, that is.

As you turn to try and get your bearings, you see a tall, haughty guy eyeing you disdainfully from nearby.

???2: I suppose I should have listened to my dad when he said the admissions standards are in decline here. Didn’t you read the information packet? There are arrival protocols, you know.

???: Who are you? Campus police? Why don’t you take her up to orientation then and make yourself useful?

Beckett: Absolutely not. I’m Beckett Harrington. I don’t have time to show the other freshmen around campus.

His lip curls into a sneer as he says this. He gives you one last withering look, before he turns and stalks away.

Griffin: I guess it’s just you and me, then. I’m Griffin.

He smiles at you warmly and offers his hand. You shake it, your fingers trembling from the shock and the water cooling on your skin.

Hell: I’m… Hell. And also… I’m very confused.

Griffin: Here, Hell, let me help you.

You feel a change in the air around him as he brings his clasped fists up to his mouth and blows through them. Suddenly…

Hell: Hey! I’m completely dry!

Griffin: There you, good as new. You might still want to change at some point though, it tends to get chilly in the evenings.

Griffin turns the air current on himself, shaking water off of his shoes as he dries them.

Griffin: Sorry if the work was a little shoddy. Air magick isn’t the most natural to us Earth-Atts, but Professor Englund says I’m getting it. Come on. I’ll take you up to the school for orientation!

He turns and starts to walk toward the front of the school and you stumble after him.

Hell: OKay, wait. So you’re saying magick is real? Like really, really real. For real.

Griffin: Either that, or we’re all trapped in the same fever dream.

You pass the large statue in the center of campus, and it swivels its head to look at you!

Griffin: Oh, that’s just the security system, set to vaporize any Attuneless intruders. But there hasn’t been one on campus in… well, I don’t even know.

Hell: (Oh god, I would really love to not be vaporized…)

You keep an eye on the statue, but soon it looks away. You let out a relieved sigh. When you turn back, you’ve reached the massive double doors at the front of the school.

Griffin: Welcome to Penderghast! If you follow me this way, I’ll show you to the…

Griffin starts toward the staircase, but the loud chiming of a bell stops him. He looks at his watch with a start.

Griffin: Oh, crap. I totally forgot about this Thief team meeting I’m supposed to go to.

Hell: Wait! You can’t leave me…

Griffin: Of course not! I’ll drop you off at the dining hall. We’re just gonna have to speed this tour up is all.

You follow him up the stairs, which lead into an adjoining hallway.

Griffin: The dining hall is just at the end of this hall and to the left. This is the school’s main building, so there’s a ton of offices and stuff in here. Reception, the dean’s office, classroom… Some of the Attunement placement exams are held here, too.

Hell: ‘Attunement placement’?

Griffin: I think it’s kind of silly, too. I knew Earth was my thing when I caused a tiny earthquake throwing a tantrum over dessert when I was five.

Hell: Right. Totally.

As you pass one of the doors off the hall, you hear a small commotion coming from inside.

Voice: Oh, hell!

Hell: Uh, Griffin? What’s this room?

Griffin: That’s the Hall of Mirrors! Where you were supposed to come through.

The first thing you see when you open the door is beautiful girl with long, dark hair, trying desperately to pull her foot out of a floor length mirror.

???: Oh thank goodness! Some assistance, s’il vous plait?

You and Griffin rush over, each take one of her hands, and tug until she comes free. She stumbles right into your arms and blows her bangs out of her face with a smile.

Shreya: Oops. Shreya Mistry, in your arms and at your service. Good catch, by the way!

Hell: Thanks… How’d you get stuck?

Shreya straightens up and smooths out her hair.

Shreya: I always have trouble with these silly mirrors if we’re being honest. I much prefer air travel. But at least I made it. I was about five minutes away from starting my freshman year a month late.

Hell: Why a month?

Shreya: That’s when the first Visitor’s Day is. When the wards reopen, of course. Guess Penderghast is stuck with me now!

Griffin: Well, welcome. I’m Griffin, this is Hell. She’s a freshman, too. I was just showing her to the dining hall if you want to come with.

Shreya: No need, I know just where it is. I’m a legacy student.

She struts out of the Hall of Mirrors. A short while later, Griffin stops in front of a pair of ornate doors.

Griffin: Well, that ends the Griffin tour! Sorry it was kind of rushed. I’ve gotta go, but good luck with the rest of orientation!

Hell: Actually, if you could just--

He’s already bounding away down the hall. You turn toward the giant double doors and steel yourself before you push them open. As you slip into the hall, you’re momentarily overwhelmed by the high ceilings, stained glass windows, and the countless dining tables. A handful of heads swivel in your direction, though the dean continues to drone on up front.

???: Hey! Over here!

A guy with a megawatt smile waves you over to a nearby table, and you hurriedly slide into the seat next to him.

Zeph: Hey, you’re late! I’m Zephyr. You can call me Zeph if you want.

Hell: I’m Hell. No cool nickname, just Hell.

Zeph: So, Hell, what’s your Attunement?

Hell: I, uh, am waiting until tomorrow to find out for sure. Don’t want to jinx it?

He opens his mouth to respond, but is cut off by the dean loudly clearing her throat.

Dean Goeffe: In conclusion, I’d like to remind you all that this is an institution of higher learning, not a playground for children. Put in the work or go home.

Around you, students start to rise to their feet and shuffle toward the doors. The dean walks briskly off-stage.

Zeph: She’s just full to the brim with the warm fuzzies, isn’t she?

Hell: Wait, it’s over? I missed the whole thing!

Zeph: Don’t worry, Dean Goeffe’s speeches are notoriously dry. Besides, I’m an expert in listening and speaking at the same time. The gist is, the freshmen will line up at 7AM in the foyer tomorrow to get assigned one of the staff as their examiner for placement tests.

He points up at the stage, where a hairy, kind-faced man with horns is seated behind a table with a few other teachers. As he stands up, you see that the bottom half of his torso ends in thick, furry haunches and hooves!

Hell: Holy crap! He’s a satyr?

Zeph: Yup! You don’t see many of them around these parts.

Zeph stands up as well, and you follow him to join the queue of students exiting the hall.

Zeph: Classes will start after all the freshmen have been placed, and your schedule will be given to you then as well.

Hell: So… what do we do now?

Zeph: Basically, the rest of the day is free. My roommate and I have a fun evening of bonding and laying out the house rules ahead of us.

You follow the crowd of freshmen out onto the grounds and immediately lose track of Zeph.

Hell: Uh… now what?

Voice: Hey, Hell!

You turn toward the voice and see Griffin coming toward you from the direction of the bridge.

Griffin: You survived the orientation! How was it? As boring as last year’s?

Hell: No, it was really interesting actually. Well, not the actual speech, I missed most of that. But I saw a… a satyr, I think, and I’m pretty sure I made a new friend. It’s all so much considering where I was this morning!

In the whirlwind of the day you had briefly forgotten about your situation, but it all comes flooding back…

Hell: (I can’t believe how far away from home I am… I felt out of place at Hartfeld, but now…)

Griffin: Are you okay?

You realise that your eyes have begun to fill up with tears. You swipe them away, forcing a laugh.

Hell: Just, uh, first day jitters, I guess. It’s all a bit… overwhelming.

He puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile.

Griffin: Hey, it’s going to be okay. If it makes you feel any better, you’re really bright.

Hell: Uh, I think my third grade teacher told me that once?

Griffin: No, I mean like inside. I can feel your energy through the ground. I felt it as soon as you stepped onto campus, actually.

Hell: Really? What did I feel like?

Griffin: Hmmm. It felt like taking your first sip of a hot drink that’s just cooled down. The kinda warm you get all over your body, you know?

Hell: Is this your way of flirting? I bet you call all the girls hot drinks.

Griffin: Only the ones that warm me from the inside out.

You feel your cheeks start to heat as you struggle to find something to say. He laughs again, unfazed.

Griffin: It gets better, you know. My first day here was awful! I didn’t really know anyone at first, but I figured that thanks to my Thief scholarship, I’d at least have my teammates. And then, next thing I know, I’m running naked across the lawn chasing the clothes my captain magicked to life while I was in the showers.

Hell: No!

Griffin: My point is, that day sucked, but there isn’t a single moment since then that I regret coming here. Especially not now.

Hell: Yeah… Maybe it’s not the worst thing that this is where I ended up.

Griffin: One thing I’ve learned in my time here is that if something happens to you, good or bad, it happened for a reason. I think you’re meant to be here.

He pauses thoughtfully, a sly grin spreading across his face.

Griffin: I’ve got an idea. I could really use your help with something, if you’re up for it. If anything, it might make for a good distraction.

Hell: Yeah? And what could you possibly need my help for?

Griffin: There’s this thing I lost last year. I must have missed it while I was packing up my dorm room, but I’m pretty sure I know where it is now. Still, it’s gonna be hard to spot and an extra set of eyes would be fantastic. Do you wanna help me try and find it?

Hell: You can count on me! You were the first friendly face I met here. The least I could do is lend you a hand with this.

Griffin: Awesome! I have a feeling you’re going to like this…

You follow Griffin through campus and down a hallway very similar to the one from earlier. He leads you past several doors, and right into a dead end.

Hell: Uh, if this is where your lost item is, it shouldn’t be too hard to find, considering there’s… nothing here.

Griffin: Hang on a second…

Griffin presses his palms together, then begins moving his hands back and forth in front of the wall, as if wiping steam from a mirror. With each move, the wall seems to melt away, revealing a door behind it.

Hell: Whoa… How did you do that? There was a wall, and now…

Griffin: Invisibility wards are pretty basic. The key is knowing where to look. Now, watching this.

Griffin clenches his hands into fists. Then, he presses his knuckles together and takes a deep breath.

Griffin: Here we go.

He exhales and places two fingers against the doorknob. After hearing a satisfying click, he opens the door.

Hell: Wait, did you just magickally unlock the door?

Griffin: Yeah. That spell’s a little more challenging. Metal’s usually tough to work with, but it’s close to Earth, so I do alright.

You shake your head in disbelief as Griffin leads you inside. The room is packed full of objects. Boxes overflow with colorful knick-knacks, and shelves bend under the weight of an assortment of curios. To your left, a stuffed raven caws loudly. There’s a thin aisle that winds through, giving you just enough space to walk. Griffin starts to rifle through the shelves.

Hell: Wow…

Your eyes flick about, unable to take everything in. You spot a candle glowing with a bright purple flame, and a large, spiky ball of metal hovering in mid-air.

Griffin: The thing we’re looking for is a silver ball, about the size of my fist, with an onyx button at the top.

Hell: I see why you needed the help…

A bell rings, and after looking around, you spot it in the hand of an eerie doll. It smiles down at you from a high shelf, and rings the bell again.

Hell: Wow. I hate that. What is this place?

Griffin: It’s a lost and found of sorts. Anything students forget on campus ends up in here. I think the professors put confiscated items in here too, hence the wards.

As you walk further into the room, you catch sight of a jar full of shiny jagged ovals, shimmering in the overhead light.

Hell: These are beautiful!

Griffin: Dragon scales. I wonder what they’re doing down here… That’s a lot of money gone to waste.

Voice: Findertook!

You stiffen at the sound and slowly turn, expecting to see someone behind you.

Griffin: Oh, ignore that thing. It’s just going to spew nonsense at you.

Your eyes fall on a pendant, with a woman’s face in profile carved into an alabaster shell.

Hell: Why’s this here?

The woman’s mouth suddenly moves!

Pendent: Thibity!

Hell: What language is that?

Griffin: Honestly, I don’t have a clue. I’m guessing it was some kind of prank gift.

Griffin sifts through some boxes behind you while you scan the rest of the room. You laugh as you catch sight of a unicycle propped up in the corner.

Hell: You’re not telling me magickal unicycles are a thing, are you?

Griffin: Last year some kid thought it’d be fun to enchant it to fly. The professors confiscated it after he fell off of it about three stories up. Turns out unicycles don’t like to be enchanted.

You wander over to an open box full of unusual objects and start picking through it. As you pick up a scarab, the jewels shift colors, cycling from soft purples to bright oranges and everything in between.

Hell: This is beautiful. What’s it for?

Griffin joins you, peering over your shoulder.

Griffin: Oh, I bet the professors used that for Attunement placement. Fire-Atts usually have a connection with scarabs, since they’re a symbol of Ra, the Egyptian sun god.

Hell: I guess that makes sense…

You turn the scarab over in your hand, and it feels surprisingly warm. You walk a little further down the aisle, squinting at the shelves. A metallic glint catches your eye, and you pick up a silver ball.

Hell: Hey, Griffin! I found your… thing!

Griffin: What? Nice! I knew inviting you along was a smart move.

Your thumb slides over the diamond-shaped piece of onyx at the top, and, with a click, several panels pop out on all sides.

Hell: Whoa…

You look up at the ceiling. The lights in the room have dimmed, and all around the room, sprinkled across the clutter, are…

Hell: Stars.

Griffin: It’s a star-tracker. It maps the rotation of the stars! They’re a tool for Astroweavers mostly, but I found this one here a while ago.

Hell: Astroweavers?

Griffin’s voice comes from behind you, suddenly very close.

Griffin: They maintain constellations, mostly. A lot of Air-Atts go into that field after graduation.

Hell: Is that what you want to do after school?

Griffin: Nah, Earth-Atts are a little more… grounded than that. I’m thinking of majoring in natural preservation sciences. I just like having a star tracker. It makes me feel bigger than myself, being able to see the stars so close and in real time like this. What do you think? Worth finding?

Hell: Yeah… This place is amazing. Seriously, it’s pretty incredible. Thanks for inviting me along.

Griffin: No, thank you. I’m so bad at finding stuff. I never would have gotten this back without your help.

Your glance up at him as the stars around you twinkle and shift. He sees you looking and gives you a teasing grin that makes your face heat up. He reaches out and places his hand over yours, covering the tracker. The panels fold in, and the stars disappear.

Griffin: We should get out of here. I don’t like to leave the ward on the door down for too long.

Hell: Sure. Could you show me to the dorm? This campus is huge, and if I tried to find it myself, I’d probably end up sleeping on the front lawn.

Griffin chuckles as he leads you out of the lost and found.

Outside, you follow him to a building on the other side of a campus. A plaque on the building’s door reads, ‘Fletchly Residence Halls.’

Griffin: Here you go. Once you get inside someone’ll help you find your room, I’m sure of it. Hey, and thanks again, Hell. I appreciate you helping me find my star tracker.

Hell: Don’t worry about it! You’ve helped me out so much today, I had to return the favor.

Griffin: See you around?

He gives you a nod before walking away. You steel yourself and push open the door to the dorms…

As soon as you enter the nearly empty dorm lobby, an upperclassman with a clipboard waves you over.

R.A: Welcome to Penderghast! How can I assist you? Need help finding your room?

Hell: Uh…

The RA cocks her head to the side.

RA: You can just tell me your last name, and I’ll point you in the right direction.

You give her your last name, and your stomach rails as her eyes skim the clipboard.

RA: Wait a minute.

She glances at you, then back at the page…

Hell: Okay, I have to confess. I’m not actually a--

Then she flips the page over.

RA: Here we go! Hell Raiser, first floor, room 108. Your roomie has been checked in since this morning!

You hurry away down the hall, simultaneously relieved and even more confused than you were before.

Hell: (If this is all some mistake, how was my name on the list?)

Behind the doors down the hall you can hear music, people laughing, and even… an occasional roar? Finally, you find number 108. You see that there’s no doorknob.

Hell: Come on, does this place come with an instruction manual?

You put your hand out and lean against the door, taking a moment to center yourself… And your hand slips right through!

Hell: Ackk!

You feel a chill go through you as you fall through a transparent blue wall and onto the floor. As soon as you’re in, the door reforms.

Shreya: It’s you again! Well, aren’t I the lucky girl?

Hell: Oh, right, from earlier! I kind of… lost you in the dining hall.

Shreya: Yes, sorry about that. I had friends waiting, and, well, you know how that goes. I’m so pleased! I’ll be a perfect roommate. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but I assure you it’s only partially true.

When she pauses for air, or maybe dramatic effect, you take a good look at your surroundings.

Shreya: Glad to see my roommate isn’t completely devoid of style, though you could still use a few pointers. Luckily, you have me to help you! Well? Say something.

Hell: I think you should relax. Please. Today has been, for the lack of a better word, insane. So I could really just use a second.

You plop down on the nearby couch, sinking into the soft cushions. Shreya perches herself on the chair across from you silently, though she leans toward you.

Shreya: So…

You sigh.

Hell: You said before that whatever I’ve heard about you is only ‘partially true.’

Shreya rolls her eyes.

Shreya: I know you’re thinking about me and Fifi’s tiff at Mistry Inc.’s annual charity fashion show.

Hell: Fifi? Mistry Inc. charity show?

Shreya: You know, the one with the lava rock runway? It was all over the news a month ago, not to brag.

Hell: I get the feeling that if I tell you that I have no idea who you are, it’s gonna be a whole thing.

Shreya is absolutely still for a moment, before she finally smiles, though it looks almost painful.

Shreya: Not. At. All. My family is only the number one purveyor of enchanted objects worldwide, but why would you know that? Besides… This was the whole point! To come to college, have new experiences, fly under the radar. Become the person I want to be, you know?

Hell: I know exactly how you feel. Honestly, that’s the same thing I was hoping to get out of the college experience. Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try, nothing fits? Like the things that you think are going to make you happy never do?

Shreya: Absolutely. It’s how I felt all the time. Until I arrived here, that is.

Hell: This morning I was at this college I used to think was finally going to be my place in the world, but it very quickly became clear that it wasn’t. And then I got here and, yeah, it’s a little weird and a little hard to believe, but for the first time… Something finally feels right. And now it’s�� all going to be taken away.

Shreya: Take away? I don’t understand. Why would--

Your voice trembles as you finally tell her the truth, revealing the secret you’ve been keeping in since you’re arrival.

Hell: I can’t do magick!

Shreya: What?

You lower your voice to barely more than a whisper.

Hell: I was in my dorm bathroom at Hartfeld, and there was something weird in the mirror, and when I touched it I just…

You throw your hands up, unable to explain, not even knowing what happened yourself.

Hell: And I don’t know what to do now. I’m afraid of what will happen if I tell someone, but I know I can’t leave.

You watch Shreya guiltily as she stares at you wide-eyed.

Hell: You’re… You’re not going to, like, erase my memory, or melt my brain, or--

Shreya: I’ll help you.

Hell: You will? Why would you do that? I don’t mean to sound suspicious, but you barely know me. Why would you stick your neck out for me?

Shreya: Because it sounds like fun. Part of the reason I came to college was to meet all different kinds of people! And you, Hell, are quite an interesting kind of person. But have you considered that there may be magick in you? Have you tried any?

Hell: Well… there was that thing with the door?

Shreya: No, no, the doors are enchanted to accept the tenant’s genetic code. That wouldn’t count.

Shreya taps her fingers on the coffee table, her eyes roving the room. When they stop, she grins and hops out of the chair.

Shreya: I’ve got it! Come on, let’s go before the shop closes.

Hell: Wait, wait. Where are we going? I thought we couldn’t leave campus!

You follow Shreya across the room and find yourself facing a door with a variety of doorknobs in different shapes and sizes screwed into it.

Shreya: There are a few pre-selected places we’re allowed to go. Like Penn Square, for example.

You notice that each knob has a neatly inscribed label above it.

Hell: ‘Hell’s room’, ‘Shreya’s room.’ ‘Penn Square’... Wait. Are you saying my room is in there?

Shreya: Sure. So is mine, and Penn Square, and the lake. That one opens up in a tree, though. It can be quite unpleasant if you run into a Berkspire.

Shreya examines the labels carefully, until finally she finds the knob labeled ‘Penn Square.’ She turns it and pushes the door open.

Hell: Whoa.

Shreya: Charming, right?

In the afternoon sun, the square is bustling with activity. You see a stately woman with deep blue skin and tusks dragging a kicking toddler with impish horns past a magickal toy store… Beyond that, a pair of men with pointed elfish ears and webbed hands debate over a beaded bracelet at a stall marked ‘Charms.’

Hell: Is that a troll?

The seven-foot-tall woman’s head whips around in your direction. Shreya grabs your arm and starts leading you away hurriedly.

Shreya: God, I foget how backwards the non-magickal worldview is. They prefer ‘mountain folk’ these days. Come on, no time to waste! We need to get you something to help with that whole ‘no magick’ thing.

Hell: And how, exactly, are we supposed to fix that?

She stops abruptly in front of a shop labelled ‘Maison D’Yew.’ The sign in the window describes it as ‘Your one stop shop for one stop shopping.’

Shreya: Let’s get inside and see if they have what we’re looking for.

Inside, every square inch of the shop is packed with clothes, knick-knacks, and all manner of glowing, spinning and rattling mystical objects.

Hell: How are we even supposed to find anything in here?

Voice: That’s where I come in! Oh, um, just a second, please.

A rustling from the pile of lamps on your left makes you jump. A mountain of rusted candelabras avalanches off a high shelf, heading straight toward you!

Hell: AHH!

You duck, bracing for impact! But it never comes.

???: Sorry about that! I was organizing some of the floghart’s droppings we store under this armoire.

You take a hesitant peek up and see that the candelabras have been stopped in mid-air and are hovering just over your head! The girl in front of you flicks a vine-wrapped hand and the candelabras re-stack themselves on the shelf.

???: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you.

You stare at her, wide-eyed, and she gives you a knowing smile.

Aster: First time meeting a wood nymph? I’m Aster. I run this shop.

She holds out her hand, and you shake it, you’re shocked at how her skin feels both like polished wood and flesh all at once.

Hell: I’m Hell. I like your shop.

Aster: Thanks! It’s my father’s actually. Well, my grandfather’s. I guess it was his father’s before that. What does ownership really mean, anyway? If I feel the most strongly about something, does it then become mine?

She pauses thoughtfully, looking off into the distance as her eyes grow dark and clouded. After a while, it seems obvious that she’s checked out completely.

Aster: Interesting…

Aster’s eyes lighten and refocus on Shreya as she shakes her head clear.

Aster: Oh! It’s you again! I was hoping you’d be back.

Shreya: I’d assume so. I spent a minor fortune the last time I was here. Listen, love, do you have any marbles? My friend here is worried about the first day of classes and wants a boost.

Hell: Yeah. Anything would help.

Aster looks at you, her eyes shining brightly.

Aster: So you’re a Penderghast student too? You both are so lucky!

She skips off toward the counter and disappears behind it.

Aster: I’ve been begging Papa to let me go, but he’s still bitter about all that wand business.

Aster pops up from behind the counter, coughing and covered in dust. She slams a polished wooden box down on the counter, with ‘Mistry Miracle Marbles’ written in gold curlicue handwriting on the lid. You give Shreya a look before gingerly lifting the edges of the box, revealing four multi-colored orbs within.

Hell: What are they?

Shreya plucks a clear orb from the box. Opaque, white smoke begins to curl inside the glass.

Shreya: One of Mistry Inc.’s bestsellers. Each of these orbs contains enough magick to perform one spell per element. They may be small, but they pack quite a punch. Like one very beautiful, very down-to-earth heiress we all know an love.

With a smile, she places the white orb into your palm, folding your fingers over it.

Shreya: And this little guy is all yours.

Hell: But… why would magick people need something like this?

Shreya: You can use it instantly instead of taking time to build a spell, and it won’t use up any of your own magick so you can cast again immediately!

Aster: They’re the very best on the market! Of course, they’ll only work for the elements with which they correspond.

You look a little closer at the contents of the box, and see a variety of colors in the tendrils of smoke. Blue, green, red…

Hell: How do you even use it?

Shreya: Ah. Aster, do you have any singles?

ASter rummages through a drawer before handing Shreya a dusty blue orb.

Aster: It’ll cost you, and I must insist that you go outside to--

Shreya rolls the marble between her thumb and forefinger, raising it up toward the ceiling… And a raincloud appears overhead as the blue smoke dissipates from the marble. It begins to pour!

Shreya: See? Easy.

Aster: You Attuned never listen!

The leaves in Aster’s hair rustle as she glowers at Shreya. She flicks a finger and a strong blast of wind blows the cloud and the rain away, leaving you completely dry.

Shreya: Oh, don’t be such a tenacious toad, Aster. What do you think, Hell? These will surely come in handy.

Hell: I’ll take the lot. These’ll at least help me fly under the radar until I can figure out what to do next!

You hand Aster a few bills from your wallet. She peers at them curiously.

Hell: I hope that’s enough?

Aster: Absolutely not. This money is worthless. Lucky for you, I can fetch a high price for it on the collector’s market!

After saying goodbye to Aster, you and Shreya head back through the portal to your dorm…

Shreya: So, now that you’ve got a bit of magick to take into battle, do you think you’re ready to face tomorrow?

Hell: Honestly, I don’t see how it’ll matter after this Attunement placement thing. Seriously, Shreya, what am I going to do?

She puts a tentative hand on your shoulder.

Shreya: You’re going to get through this because I’m going to help you. And I’m just too fabulous to fail.

You’re unable to hold your laugh in, and soon, Shreya’s laughing too. Over her shoulder, something catches your eye. In the mirror across the room, you see a smudge… or maybe a shadow.

Hell: Shreya, do you see that?

Shreya: Hmm?

You look around, trying to find the source of the reflection as you step closer to the mirror. The shadow pulses, gros, and you tilt your head even closer…

Hell: Wait, that’s…

It’s only then that you realise the shadow is on your side of the glass!

Shreya: Hell!

Shadow Monster: Chhhhhhhhsssss!

The shadowy creature turns a violent shade of red! An opening appears below its two hollow eyes as it lets out an angry hiss… It launches itself at you, sending you reeling!

Hell: Hnnh!

You trip over your own feet, falling backward as the shadow springs!

Shadow Monster: Chhhhkkkkss!

You throw up a hand to protect yourself!

Hell: AHHH!!!

And a bright beam, golden as the sun, shoots from your palm, blasting right through the middle of the creature!

Hell: How…?!

Even though the light has faded, your palm still glows warmly. The shadow creature has been reduced to nothing. You can feel the energy humming inside of you, and instantly you know it’s been there all along. Somewhere under the surface. Somewhere secret.

Hell: What the hell was that?!

Shreya: I don’t know… But it looks like there may be hope for you yet.

Thoughts on the episode…

This is a pretty standard first episode for any series that contains magic, or powers, that the main character didn’t know they had. Or at least, the ending was. MC doesn’t know they have powers, bad guy attacks them, discover they have powers that are incredibly strong and mysterious, etc. etc.  Nothing new or revolutionary here.

That being said, I liked it. I like Shreya and Aster, I like Griffin and Zeph and I even like Mr. Snooty McRichie III or whatever his name is (definitely gonna be a love interest and I’ll be damned if I don’t make him my love interest). This has some semblance of a plot, we don’t know exactly where it’ll take us but there are plotlines - How did she end up there? Who knew to enroll her at Penderghast? What is her Attunement? Who is that inside the mirror? A far more exciting first chapter than Across the Void which was an absolute mess.

Fave Character of the Chapter: Griffin

Least Fave Character of the Chapter: Zeph

[project-nm7l]

Expedition Log A134

Date: 03/22/2427 Commander: Penn Draugon Fleet: Aritite 6 Expedition Log A134

The Beurrizautchi are an interesting looking people. They are nearly the same height as average humans, though their bellies jet out like a torpedo. They have large bulbus red noses, and super sonic huge ears with tiny eyes. Their hands are small, almost like children’s hands. Their skin tone is almost jaundice. Their legs are longer than humans with quite odd proportions.

Yaserva was certainly agitated by the interruption, but was very compliant. I’m sure due to the fact she was counting on them to heal her husband. Two Beurrizautchi went down into the cellar and lifted Tzakac and carried him up the stairs.

The leader of this group looked me up and down, then Moke and Ketak. He smiled at Ketak “You’re not of Earth. What are you doing with these Earthlings?” They asked him. “I’m a member of their crew.” Ketak responded without hesitation.

“You’ll stay here with the children. We can’t take them with us to the compound. This one will come with us though.” He pointed at me. Moke suggested that he should join along too. The leader of the Beurrizautchi denied this request. I tossed Moke the keys to the buggie. “Take these kids back to the shuttle for the evening. I’ll radio you when we’ve returned. Please help Inessa and Liam with security detail tonight." Moke grabbed me by the arms and kissed me softly. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me in close to him. “Please be safe.” he whispered into my ear.

“I’m more worried about you. Please stay safe, and take care of them.” I whispered. I pressed my lips into his. I felt a tear run down my face. Using the side of his thumb, he wiped the tear off my cheek. “I promise” he said while placing his forehead against mine.

“Let’s go!” the Beurrizautchi leader demanded. Moke kissed my forehead and released me from his hold. “I love you, Moke. I’ll see you soon.” I said walking up the steps from the cellar. We entered the Beurrizautchi’s flight craft. It was much smaller than a traditional space ship, but spacious on the inside. The craft looked almost like a metallic axolotl. They loaded Tzakac into the craft and everyone was buckled in. I watched out the window as Moke and Ketak took the kids to the buggie to return to the ship.

We arrived at the compound within a half hour, much faster than the buggies. We were traveling at least 300 mph. The compound was large, insanely large. I can imagine that it's the equivalent of two double stacked Ikea buildings. Moke and I were ordered to do a full sweep of one when we first met, we were lost in the building for five days.

We entered the compound on what looked to be the 6th level. The side wall of this level slid down and closed behind us. The lights were near blinding. They ushered us off the craft, through a door, and into a blueish green glass elevator.

Yaserva and I watched as they moved Tzakac into a separate elevator that traveled horizontally out of site. Yaserva's face was puffy and red. I could see that she was holding back tears.

"Where are they taking him?" I asked as we continued traveling upwards. "Medical." The Beurrizautchi answered.

We finally stopped on what looked to be the top floor. There were many skylights, and windows on this level. More natural light than we had experienced during landing.

A man walked out in a dark blue and gold military uniform. Obviously the top of the chain.

"How was your trip?" He asked me as he settled into his large desk chair. "It was fine. Can you tell me what is going on here? How did you know we were at Yaserva and Tzakac's home? How do you speak English?" I asked.

"Well, we've been watching you and your crew. Keeping an eye from afar. We saw you heading to Yaserva's farm and decided to intercept and discuss some business." He gave a side smile. He was charming, but his words made the hair on the back of my neck stand.

"I asked Yaserva to get your attention, which obviously she did an excellent job. You investigated just as I assumed you would. I didn't want to risk you killing my men if we approached your shuttle. We've seen what you've done to the Na-leechers. I needed Yaserva to stand as a middle man. She contacted us the moment you showed up today at the farmhouse." The man stood, walked around to the front of his desk, and ran his index finger down Yaserva's arm.

"Oh, and to answer your question, we have chips that detect dialect from over 50,000 languages across thousands of planets. We know English, Chinese, Latin, Spanish, Swahili, French, Persian, Russian, and more. The list goes on. We just like to communicate efficiently without the struggle to understand one another. We're not primitive if that's what you are thinking." He said with a smug inflection.

"What business would you like to discuss.... ? I'm sorry, I didn't get your name." I replied. "Call me Commander Tak. My full name is usually too much for beings such as yourself, its complexity is far beyond your ability to cognitively comprehend." His lips dripped with condescension.

"Understood Tak." I replied.

"It's COMMANDER Tak. See, I knew that might even be too difficult for you." He replied snottily.

"We've prepared a room for you for the evening. You'll need to get settled in, change out of that gear and into what we've provided. We'll meet you in conference in 2 hours. Gzartariloius will come get you then." Tak signaled for Gzartariloious to guide me out.

"You, Yaserva, You get to stay here with me for a few." He said in Nauertain with a predatory tone. I have been working on my Nauertian, and was able to translate this fully between understanding some of the words, the tone and body language. Yaserva looked at me, then the ground.

In my best Nauertian I said, "Yaserva will be coming with me. We can discuss her business with OUR business." I stepped back over to Yaserva and grabbed her hand to bring her along with me.

Tak seemed angry, but held his composure. "Fine. We'll talk later Yaserva."

Gzartariloious showed us to a beautiful room filled with crystal furniture, and tinted glass walls. I was sure this was two way glass, and Tak was watching us.

I sat down, and patted the seat next to me for Yaserva. She began crying into her hands, and I hugged her shoulders as she rocked back and forth.

I kept whispering "It's going to be okay." in Naurtian as she sobbed. I tried to use my radio, but the signal was just contained within this room, or possibly the building. I tried all of my devices to no avail. I couldn't even complete the journal, it kept giving me an error.

Gzartariloious knocked at our door 2 hours later. Yaserva had laied down and fallen fast asleep. The knock startled her awake. It was time.

[theunrealinsomniac]

THIS IS THE LAST ONE OKAY. maybe. 86+87 Draco/pansy BROTP. College AU? Yeah I'm pansy trash. She's my spirit animal

Jesus, I am literally shit. I’ve got back to it eventually though … does that score me points?

86 -  What have I told you about the toilet seat?

Draco heard the familiar growl and splash of his housemate forgetting the toilet seat wasn’t down.

‘One,’ he muttered to himself as he pushed down the top half of his laptop. THe essay could wait for the evening’s entertainment.

‘Two.’ He pushed himself away from the desk, the wheels on his chair letting him glide elegantly across his bedroom. Because Malfoy’s always glided when they moved at speed. It was something passed down from father to son.

‘Three,’ he said. Swallowing down the shit eating smile that was also something he had inherited from his father apparently.

The rapid banging on his bedroom door started just as he’d expected and he already had the door opening as his housemate started yelling.

‘How many fucking times Draco?!’ Pansy screeched as she stormed into his room only to come short so close to him she’d nearly sent them both toppling over. She had to damn pirouette around him to avoid injuring them both. ‘Fuck! Every time!’

She was so easy to mess with.

‘Problem Pansy?’ Draco asked, his hands folded demurely in his lap. 

‘Yes! What have I told you about the toilet seat?!’ Pansy glowered death at him. It was fucking adorable.

‘Leave it up?’ Draco said faux-innocently.

‘Put it down!’ Pansy hissed at him. ‘I don’t have the fucking money to replace my fucking clothes because I covered them with toilet water!’

Draco shrugged. ‘Maybe you shouldn’t go tearing into the bathroom because you’ve forgotten you need to piss. Go when the urge first hits, like a civilised person.’

‘Civilised people leave toilet seats down for ladies!’ Pansy snapped back. How many times had they had this argument this year alone? You’d think his best would learn he was only doing it to mess with her.

‘When a lady moves in,’ Draco said, a sharp smirk on his face. ‘I shall consider it.’

Pansy groaned and ran a hand down her face. ‘I should have moved in with Daphne and Tracey, at least they’d have left the loo seat down.’

‘Yeah,’ Draco said with an unfazed shrug. ‘But then you’d have to put up with Daphne’s boyfriend being around all the time. At least I go elsewhere with Astoria.’

Pansy shuddered and they shared a smirk. Daphne’s choice in men had been why Pansy and Draco had found their own place after first year. Harry Potter and Daphne Greengrass’ burgeoning relationship was something neither of them needed front row seats for. 

‘Seriously though Draco,’ Pansy said as she perched on the edge of his bed. ‘It’d literally be nothing for you to just aim or lift the seat. It’s the advantage of you being a man. I’d kill to piss standing up.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind.’ Draco rolled his chair back over to his desk, crossing his legs at the ankles as he rested back. ‘But I don’t give this double standard. It’d be just as easy for you to put the seat down. I call bullshit Pansy.’

Pansy grumbled, the years old argument going unresolved yet again. Because he was right and she knew it. Double standard bullshit was entirely right. 

Pansy stood as he continued to stare at her expectantly. ‘Just put the seat down,’ she snapped and stormed out of his room.

The blond waited for Pansy’s bedroom door to snap shut before he let himself start laughing.

87 -  I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.

Jesus he hated fucking double duvets. They could all go to hell right now. And king sized, queen sized and everything other than single.

Sure, sleeping in a single bed made him feel like he was a six year old but at least they were easy to change the covers for.

You had to be a special kind of stupid to get trapped inside a single duvet cover.

Then again, he was probably failing as an adult right now being trapped in a double duvet. Especially as he’d done it so perfectly he was like a spring roll on his bedroom floor.

He’d tried shouting for someone, Pansy specifically, for the last hour. He’d tried before to just wriggle his way out but he’d just managed to make it worse and nearly crack his skull open on his desk.

Pansy hadn’t come. She was either out, which was most likely, or still pissed at him over the latest toilet seat prank and ignoring him … not impossible.

Fuck, how long had he been on the floor now? He couldn’t even reach his phone and he’d long since got rid of his alarm clock after it’d been knocked off the bedside table by accident the last time Astoria had stayed the night.

The next time being any time this evening. The whole damn reason he was changing his bed in the first place. He slammed his head against the floor three times, punctuating what he was thinking.

Fuck. My. Life.

Where was Pansy when he needed her? Astoria couldn’t see him like this, they’d not been together long enough to let each other see the stupid shit they did by accident. It’d kill his whole elegance thing. 

Pansy had seen him throwing up in a gutter during freshers week in their first year. That’s how they’d met for Lord’s sake. She knew he was moron. 

THe sound of rattling keys came from downstairs and Draco jerked so drastically he kicked the edge of his bed. ‘Fuck!’

‘PANSY!’ He shouted as loud as he could.

His best friend must have heard him because she came pounding up the stairs, his door being pushed open so hard it slammed into the wall.

‘Draco? What’s wrong? You sound like you’re being att-’

Pansy, who’d been looking desperately around his room came to a sudden freeze as she finally saw him. 

THere was a beat of quiet and Pansy failed to swallow her smile in time, sucking her lips in like an embarrassed toddler.

‘So …’ Pansy said, her voice trembling with poorly restrained laughter. ‘Something wrong Draco?’

‘Fuck off,’ Draco bit. ‘Laugh and then get me the fuck out of this thing, Astoria could be here any minute.’

Having been given permission, though she probably wouldn’t have held on much longer anyway, Pansy reared back and screamed with laughter. Her hand leaving the door handle to clutch at her side as she crumbled against the wall.

‘You look like a sausage roll!’ She snorted and fresh peals of laughter came out. ‘Oh bloody hell my lungs, what happened?’

‘I tripped.’

‘And what? It packed you up of it’s own free will?’

‘Look, I was changing the bed and I slipped and somehow managed to cocoon myself in this infernal sheet. I’ve been like this for hours while you were off gallivanting around doing God knows what. Will you juST SHUT UP AND HELP ME?!’

Pansy nodded, fighting back yet more laughter, and between the two of them they managed to get Draco out from his duvet cover and properly make his bed.

‘Can you stop leaving the toilet seat up now?’ Pansy said as they placed his pillows on to finish the job. ‘I totally could have left you as revenge and didn’t. A little quid pro quo?’

The man groaned and rolled his eyes. ‘As long as you promise not to breathe a word of this to anyone. Understood?’

Pansy ran her finger over her heart twice and grinned. ‘Promise.’

He nodded and gestured for Pansy to leave as he scooped up his phone. ‘Good, now go, Astoria is on her way here already.’

She chuckled and saluted. ‘Sure sure, my little sausage roll.’

Draco growled and threw his phone at his bed.

[smoothshift]

3500 miles in a GT350: CA to MT & PNW. Pictures, words and field testing AMMO Frothe via /r/cars

3500 miles in a GT350: CA to MT & PNW. Pictures, words and field testing AMMO Frothe

(Originally posted to my profile which confused me to no end because interwebbing is hard. So hopefully this is not a double post on the sub)

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GT350 Summary

2017 in Shadow Black, Recaros, Sync 3

Driver assists added: Blackview DR650s front/rear dashcam, Escort Max360 radar/laser detector

Changes made: Black lugs, black valve stem caps, Steeda clutch spring (suspension brace pending install), ceramic tint, white stripes removed

3 stage detail and PPF applied - full nose, A pillars, mirrors, roof, door edges, quarter panels, trunk entry. cQuartz on all surfaces, 4 coats of cQuartz Reload applied as a topcoat

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Pics and short comments

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Trip Facts

Departure: Friday, Oct 5 at 2:22PM PT

Return: Friday, Oct 12 at 11:15PM PT

Distance: 3500.7 miles

Oil consumption: ~ 1/2 quart

Avg MPG: 20.4

Cost of 91/92 octane: $640.22

Cheapest gas: Chevron at 3.34/gal, unknown city, Idaho

Most expensive: Chevron at 4.42/gal, Boomtown, Nevada

Avg $ spent per fill up: $23.71

# of fill ups: 27

Avg distance between fill ups: 129.6 miles (range is 300 miles)

Hotel stays: 4

Cosmetic wear and tear: Minor rock strikes intercepted by the PPF, mystery scuffs on the driver side fender

Malfunctions: A/C fall down go boom. Known issue with 15-17 S550 platform.

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Gear

1 trunk organizer holding jumper cables, battery charger, tire inflator, coolant, extinguisher, first aid kit, basic tool kit, reflective parka, 2 gal water, 12 individual water bottles, 1 AMMO sprayer, 12v carvac from Amazon, 1 ammo can holding 2 quarts of 10w50 & funnel

2 stuff sacks holding 1 sleeping bag, 2 med blankets, 2 sm blankets, 2 travel pillows

1 tent and 1 inflating pad

1 bag holding coffee, french press, utensils, plastic bowl w/lid, JetBoil

1 tote bag holding misc food including the all important double choc brownies

1 camera bag holding a Nikon D800 and Nikon 24-70 f2.8. Additional images taken with iPhone

1 20L cooler holding milk, fruit, water, coke

1 bag holding detailing lotions, potions and goops

1 bag holding the world's supply of microfiber towels

1 6 gal bucket holding 2 collapsible buckets, 2 grit guards, 2 wash pads

1 small box holding dish soap, scrubbing thingamajobs, shop towels, toiletries, water heater

1 backpack holding clothing and sandals

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Destinations

Craters of The Moon National Monument (Idaho)

Yellowstone (Idaho and Montana)

Seattle

Prius Coast Highway (WA to CA)

​

The words, and plenty of them

I had planned this trip since spring but hadn't gone due to work constraints. A window opened up in September, but it quickly closed due to life getting in the way. And then it happened: Early October, nothing holding me back. I was ready to go, to clear my head, to get away from work and you. Yes, you - the guy who swerves in and out of traffic at speed. And you, the lady who cannot stay off her phone. And don't think I've forgotten about you, bro - I see you hiding back there - the guy who literally ignores BSM. What better cure for driving frustration than to go.. driving. Or something.

​

Tramlining and then it got cold

I left San Francisco on Friday afternoon, taking 80 east to Reno. This was well planned, nothing left to chance except for the most common sense thing: weather reports. There's an app for that, of which I have 3 and of which I used 0. This was not the smartest move as would be apparent this night and later in Montana, but for now all was well. Weather was warm, pavement dry and I'm moving at a good pace through Sacramento and into the Sierra Nevada range. The mountain section of 80, specifically the right lane is in terrible shape. I'm tramlining all over the place for too long, in too many sections, a constant jerky right, left, left, left, right, right fight on the wheel. Despite this I'm determined to stay right except to pass.

Its getting pretty cool out, and about 8PM I pull into the Truckee rest stop to discover its cold, 38 degrees. I know thats not cold to you Midwest and East Coast people. Kinda balmy. But to a coastal CA guy that's just about below freezing. I make a mental note about the Michelins not being rated for this temp, brush my teeth in the parking lot (classy is how I roll) and go to bed or rather recline the seat. I wake at 3AM and its time to move.

Leaving Truckee I discover tramlining is not done and it's another fight. And then the squeaking started from somewhere in the dash. Its a heavy grating noise and not a rattle; loud and obnoxious like my nephew. I'm pressing on the dash, the gauges, the vents - the usual places but nothing changes. Ten minutes later it's gone and does not return. Took the Boomtown exit and hit up Chevron. Go inside for coffee and pay for gas, pretty mundane but then I ran into a change scam. Some Eastern Euro guy was behind the counter. I give him 40 and he tells me he'll put 35 on the pump, and to come back for change. Not what I asked for but whatever. Returned for the change and - lets call him Uri - claims there's no change to be had. Its 3:30AM and I'm in no mood to get into this. Enjoy the $3 bro.

​

Coffee, water and no rest areas. Also, LTE coverage is terrible

Back on the road and passing Reno AKA the drab copy of Vegas. Detector warns of 2 KA alerts but the signal is weak and I exit Reno without issue. Kept going east to Winnemucca, turning north on 95. The problem with 95 - other than being a long stretch through flat arid country - is the lack of rest areas combined with tidal pool-sized coffee cups and water. You know what this means and yes, I marked my territory in several places.

This stretch of nothing leads to the first of far too many LTE signal cuts and corresponding loss of Waze GPS updates. Through most of NV, and really, really long stretches of ID and MT there is no signal. Which I completely understand since ATT is a discount carrier a small mom and pop telco its really hard to relay signals over flat terrain its 1996 and cell phones are still a novelty. Signal loss in WA and OR along 101 - that I understand, and it happened frequently given the terrain. But issues in flatlands especially Idaho's more populated state routes - that I don't get.

And here's where I took the first acceptable picture of the car. Its a farming community, maybe a half mile of 25 MPH with a gas station, coffee house, cafe and sheriff's station. And one thing I found interesting, the Sahara Motel. 50s or early 60s design; sharp angles, cracked windows and peeling paint on the doors. The last paying guest was a long time ago and it makes a good backdrop.

​

The Rag Company mission aborted; Shelby meets buttocks at Craters of The Moon

I'm off to Boise to find a hotel and stop by the Rag Company. Missed their store hours and tomorrow's Sunday, with Monday a holiday so.. no Rag Company visit. I chalk it up my usual level of masterful planning and stay the night at the Holiday Inn in Meridian. if you find yourself there someday stop by Beto's 24 hour Mexican place. The chicken chimichanga (fried burrito) is outstanding.

With sunrise it was time for my first destination open whenever - Craters of The Moon National Monument. Never been, never heard of it, just a random find when looking up Idaho tourist destinations. Taking 84 SE was unremarkable, but connecting to 20 was another story. Going up to 4k elevation, golden grass on the hills and plains, fall colors on the trees. Beautiful, with some fun stretches of road interrupted by people who dr.ive. ve.r.y. s.lo.w.ly.

Passed through Carey which is another livestock community with the requisite aroma d'odure. Up to this point I've mostly seen F150s, RAM 1500s and the occasional minivan. But here comes this kid in his JDM Civic, Idaho plates, red with all the toppings - wing, different colored bits here and there. Didn't check the rear but you know there were fart cans attached. Flat bill cap tied it all together. What I remember most is the look on his face as he passed, staring at my car like that guy on what show was it? The guy with the wild hair who says "I'm not saying its aliens..". Yeah. He had that look on his face. Stay strong, brosef, you're the outlier in the land of the lifted.

Keep going and the route takes you over Silver Creek which is famous for fishing, something I didn't know. Also didn't know that with fish come bugs and a lot of them. I know how to describe these because I took Entomology 101: big ole brownish-yellow, low-flying squishies with lots of guts. Stopped to carefully clean it off but there's too much bug juice, a full wash is needed later.

About 2:30PM I rolled in to Craters of The Moon. It looks like the name, kinda bleak and barren and perfect. Wide, cloudy skies from here to where the flat earth ends and vaccines aren't needed. I stop by a small hill and walk up to the crest; hidden behind is another crest. Decent pictures. Coming down I see some tourists standing around the car. Some guy is leaning his posterior on the hood and having a picture taken. This excites me a wee bit and I leg it to explain the finer points of no touchie; I know its complicated. They are French (not the Quebecois variety); explanations were offered, much hand gesturing ensued, apologies made and Trans-Atlantic relations were preserved (you're welcome, America). I keep rolling albeit with a blood pressure higher than normal; I like this place minus butt guy.

​

Meeting JB from Texas, AKA Walter Mitty

Back on the road and I pull over for gas at Picabo. Station appears to be closing; their coffee is lukewarm and does not look good. Made my way to a rest stop for Operation Caffeine Overdose ala Jetboil and French Press and yes, it was great, full bodied and delicious. Fully amped I drive east toward Montana and Yellowstone but I can't quite make it. 9PM rolls around and I stop at a random rest area, writing out notes on the day. There's a silver Mercedes roadster a few spots over, I'm guessing early to mid 90s (SLK? Not familiar with Mercedes). It looks really good, sleek, fast and small. Fender flares, looks like aftermarket wheels and the driver is staring at my car. I go back to writing notes and look up a few minutes later. He's still staring. Got out to rummage for food and that's when the driver walks over: JB from Texas. 6'4" or so and has about 100 lbs on me, in a dark parking area - but that's not the problem. Problem is he's a close talker. Protip for tall guys talking to strangers in dark places: Don't be a close talker.

I ask JB about his car and he says it was his first, got it new in 99 when he was 15. That's remarkable and I asked how he pulled it off. "My parents are the most senior judges in (whatever TX town he's from)." This was said emphatically and louder than you'd expect, but I figure it's possible, and wealthy families can buy expensive cars for their kids. After this point little things were said that raised some flags but nothing major, things like European cars being cheaper to repair than domestic. But then it got weird, with JB stating he's a retired Air Force General, and his wife a retired Navy Colonel (for those unfamiliar, there are no Colonels in the US Navy). JB doesn't appear old enough to make 04 much less General, so I ask how old he is and this produces a long pause- really long (he was doing the math, 15 in 1999 now its 2018.. this minus that, carry the 1, no wait just subtract, x = y and divide the ... and he got it wrong). Finally he says "40." Amazing. A 40 YO retired General, he must be a legend I've never heard of. I decide to leave before the inevitable JSOC story. There's always a JSOC story.

​

Yellowstone and KA bands

Morning rolls around and I awake at another rest stop. Get the jetboil going and its not long before 191 gets me to Yellowstone. Just before the park is the town of West Yellowstone and here the radar detector pays gives another assist. A few cars on the road and we're approaching a bend. KA alert is a sudden, strong signal and there he is, local Sheriff sitting just past the bend. He starts to follow after I pass but I'm in the clear. About a mile down I'm the only car on this stretch and just for giggles he lights me up. I get it, its a holiday weekend and no better time to get low hanging fruit like speeders and drunks, but come on, Deputy Dog. I innit stupit. Me gud drivor.

Yellowstone. Incredible driving roads but again no bueno to open it up, a fact reinforced by another Deputy exercising his radar skills (quite good, no alerts at all til I rounded a corner). If you like fly fishin' this is the place, and I made several hikes with one decent picture to show for it. That's my bad; arrival time (11AM) meant I had to wait awhile for acceptable light. Could be there's a pattern here.

​

I visit Ennis and find an El Camino for sale

Leaving the park I point the car to Ennis on route 287. This is a tourist-focused town. You like huntin', maybe fishin', little bit of hikin', you want it they got it. The main drag is several hundred yards of contemporary storefronts and they appear to have been designed by the same person. Quirky, but not too quirky with just the right amount of rustic, and nicely done enough to let you know its gonna be expensive shopping there.

Exxon was out of 91 on all pumps (or 92 in MT) but I found another station. In the gravel lot next door was a bright light shining through parting clouds, and I may have heard a chorus because there she was, a 1987 Chevy El Camino, 71k miles, 10k asking down from 12. Looked in good shape, badged SS and V8. I didn't closely inspect it, and I'm no expert in verifying SuperSport models from any era. At any rate trans isn't my thing. But still, good looking history on wheels.

​

Butte, where the rubber meets the road (or snow, in this case) and Georgetown Lake

And now I'm in Butte. I neither wrote nor recall much of this drive, my mind said write but my body said sleep. Made it in good time and got a room, and you know what? It's freaking cold. Like... dude. COLD, low 30s. Up to this point I still haven't checked weather reports because I'm a rocket scientist. Woke at 5AM and found a coin op car wash and yes, its cold and getting colder. I'm worried about the tire temp rating and this is compounded by a light dusting of snow. I realize my IQ has to catch up and GTFO to a warmer climate. S/SW is good but too obvious. N/NW is more my mongo style on highway 90; temp decreased to 28 degrees and snow had built up as a fine slush, but not frozen. At least there's no snowplows, that would be a bad sign. And then a few miles in there are snow plows, thankfully they appear to be pre-positioned and sitting there. This must be one of the first snows of the season, and my escape velocity is tempered by MPSS running well below threshold. Went gentle on the inputs, reduced speed and held it steady. No problems keeping it straight and thankfully stopping distance was not put to the test.

I self-flagellate for a number of miles, slowly building confidence and moving from light snow to rain. Stopped at a rest area to inspect the tires; no cracks or other issues found, nor did any appear during the trip. The air intake and grille had ice build up, good news is it was a fairly small area on either side.

I left 90 at Hensley Gulch, turning west on highway 1 AKA Pintier Veterans Memorial Scenic Highway. This was the most beautiful road of the trip, its scenic and then some. Rolling, gentle hills, mostly livestock and horses. More long sweepers with minor elevation changes, and then you get to Georgetown Lake, otherwise known as the place I'll buy when I win the lotto. Not been? Go, its worth your time. For me this was a pass-through, but I'll remember this drive for a long time, a little bit of paradise I had the privilege to observe.

​

Crossing back into Idaho, and the memory of what was

Back in Idaho; a light rain and miles of yellows, browns and greens. Cruise control country like most of the route so far. And then the song played; the one that takes you back to what was or could have been. The one you do and don't want to hear, so you bury it, ignore it but can't quite hit delete. The opening guitar conjures her face and you can feel her touch. It's good and real and bittersweet and you wonder why it ended, but you know why.

some people wind up with the one that they adore

in a heart-shaped hotel room it's what a heart is for

the bubble floats so madly will it stay sky-high?

And suddenly I'm in Tel Aviv with her in that rundown motel by the beach. The faded yellow walls gave the room a golden light offset by dingy grey curtains and an ugly rug. Just her and I and this song playing on her phone. It was a long way from home, across borders, language, religious and cultural differences. It was also over but we didn't know it just then; better that way. She's married now. I put the memory back on the shelf, close the door and leave.

and it's you and me in the summertime we'll be hand in hand down in the park

with a squeeze and a sigh and that twinkle in your eye and all the sunshine banishes the dark

​

The A/C goes to the great condenser in the sky

A month before leaving I attempted to get some issues addressed: Rear panel gaps, unreliable A/C, front wheel well liner not flush and a poorly fitted passenger door. My dealership put their best guys on the job and the results were: Panel gap parts on backorder (understandable), unreliable A/C diagnosed as "normal," wheel well liner was "normal" and nothing can be done about the door. I was impressed and decided to find another dealer after the trip. But now the A/C decides its time to meet its maker. No A/C, no heat, no joy. Top men, Dr. Jones. Top. Men.

​

Coeur D'Alene Lake: Flatbed hauls a totaled 911 and Camry

I arrived at Coeur D'Alene. Passed through a few times before but never stopped by the lake, and I'm glad I did. 50 square miles of water surrounded by hills with marinas interspersed along the shore. Twisty roads with some straights that reminds me of Skyline. Only here I take it easy, I don't know the roads so I run an inspection cruise along a 20 mile run: 1 cross, 7 deer in 2 groups, 2 school bus stops, 0 cyclists. Not ideal especially the school bus stops and deer, and local popo are running KA band. I drive it anyway, moderately. On the way out I see a flatbed loaded up with a wrecked white 911 (recent) and Camry (00's model). The Porsche's passenger door is off the frame and the roof looks partially caved.

​

Washington State expert editorial and heroin at the rest stop

I've never lived in WA but I'm nonetheless an expert with a viewpoint that applies to every resident, because I'm smart and stuff. They don't care for Californians because too many moved here, a PNW echo chamber that goes back decades and won't end, well, ever. Which is fine because no one ever moved to CA and drove up prices, in greater numbers and with greater consequences. They have a lot of tweakers, which CA also has a lot of. They share a coastline with Oregon and Canada that is hands down the most beautiful and inspiring you'll find anywhere. And their popo are a revenue generator force, more than most places.

Pulled in to a rest stop shortly after crossing the border. Camped out in the car and got the usual restless sleep. Up at 4AM to visit the men's room, and out walks Slim Shady's cousin with a red hat, red jersey of some kind, black basketball shorts and red basketball shoes. Slim left behind a syringe, one of those rubber hose things they use to tie off, an empty brown packet about the size of rubber packaging and some random bits and bobs. I return to the car thinking how sad it is this guy has a fix at the ready while preparing the jetboil and french press, and only later does the irony become obvious. As I said, I'm smart. And stuff.

​

Field testing AMMO NYC'S Frothe (hoseless wash)

I exited 90 beyond Snoqualmie Pass, fill up and decide to test AMMONYC's hoseless wash product. Disclaimer: I have no relationship with AMMO, and I paid for the product just as you would. There's a TA truck stop adjacent to the gas station and I park in between them, well out of anyone's way. The car has road grime, some bugs, the usual detritus but nothing too heavy.

I used the sprayer with water first to rinse, then added Frothe and got down to business except for one thing: Parking a Shelby by truckers is like throwing chum into a sea of dorsal fins. I'm getting my foam on when I get my first visitor, Mike, 61, trucker and retired diesel mechanic. Mike's a nice guy but his intro was, "What in the hell are you doing?" I explain the concept but he looks doubtful, then I get the car stories (this V8, and that one, and some other one). Good conversation but I gotta work on this so Mike and I part ways.

Next up was another trucker, I didn't get his name. Large guy, about Mike's age and he approaches close but doesn't say anything, just stares at the car. I break the ice and he says, "I'd give you a run against my Hellcat." I'm not down to measure manhoods or compare cornering so I don't. He inspects the car and doesn't like the PPF, doesn't like hoseless wash. He does like the shine but I get a blank stare when explaining what ceramic coating is. All this was fine until he decides to touch the paint: "Is that a rock chip?" I don't know what it is about paint but some people can't stop themselves from touching it.

Second and last visitor gone I continue with Frothe. Easy to use, lifting the dirt does take a fair number of towels (6 in my case) and that's fine, I've brought a lot. No visible scratches or swirls but I didn't go CSI on this, it's clean, it shines and I was careful to follow the lifting vs pushing method. Very happy with the results but the pictures don't do it justice. See the Seattle/Pike's Place pic for a good representation, it was taken not long after with a good amount of miles driven.

​

Speed, Karma & Laser Cats Cops

Continuing on 90 its flat agricultural land that reminds me of CA's central region with more rainfall. Traffic is very light, only a few cars and this Corolla - I'm thinking early 2000s model - comes up fast behind me. Really fast. What's remarkable is the great condition of the paint, this car is cosmetically well taken care of. I know because the driver, lets put him on the younger side of 18, passed at high speed and very close, swerving to lane change. I deploy the universal sign of disapproval and hope he learns his lessons before its too late. 20 miles down the road I see flashing lights and the state patrol is keeping him company. Karma, bro. It don't mess around.

On my last WA visit the city of Pasco (further south, not far from the OR border) had an aggressive ticketing posture. This time I didn't write down the name, no time to pull over - just a city between Snoqualmie and Seattle. KA band up ahead, and another a 1/2 mile after that. But they're not done, this is a pack operation. Mr. Laser Cop is parked after the 2nd KA cruiser, and its clear they mean (big) business. This was the second laser strike in WA during this trip. Thankfully I did not contribute to the register.

​

Seattle and Pike's Place

In my mind this was going to be a great picture, something to print. Low light, low angle, blazing Pike's Place sign in the background. Got there too late for that, about 10AM due to heavy traffic and the Frothe field test. No biggie. Only problem is I'm from SF where car break ins are rampant and my car is chock full of stuff. Leave it like this at home and you're coming back to broken glass so I keep the car in sight.

Lets see.. Starbucks, not my first choice and it looks like Disneyland with all the tourists. I find an indy coffee purveyor, enjoy my dose and buy some overpriced t-shirts. And then its time to leave, but I drive around and I'm reminded that Seattle is what SF used to be: Not too crowded and a little laid back. Locals will tell you otherwise and the COL is too high, and there's too many people from CA who moved here, and they're right and wrong. But its vibe is nothing like SF and I hope it stays that way. Seattle is its own thing.

​

Newport, Oregon and the awkward stop light

I'm driving through Newport, another coastal town and this one has a fine dining establishment I'm keen to visit, Taco Bell. You may have heard of them, may I recommend the 20oz Mountain Dew for optimal caffeine delivery. Leaving town I stop at a light, windows down because the Top. Men. did such a great job with the aircon. A Chevy truck (older one, S10 maybe) pulls up alongside. The driver has a ball cap on backwards, dark sunglasses and a Tom Selleck mustache. "Hey man! I'm a Chevy guy but I really like your car, that back end is something! Love how you put it together!" The words form in my head and my mouth opens to speak but he's gone before I can say anything. So there I was, mentally constipated long before the physical effects of this value meal, unable to tell him with urgency and a longing for relief that no, its stock and I'm not a Ford engineer or modding genius. Frustrating.

​

I ordered pizza and met our Lord and Savior

I stopped for dinner at a town close to Eugene. Its time for something healthy, like pizza. Yeah. Pepperoni and a cold one will do. Nice enough place, nothing fancy and nothing you'd remember. Except the guy who took my order was Jesus Christ Superstar. Brown shoulder length hair and a full beard, neatly done. Semi-olive complexion and I'm wondering if my Aramaic is up to speed, or whether I should be his agent for the Broadway revival. Mostly I'm wishing my long hair days hadn't ended and I briefly wallow in envy. At any rate the pizza was good and Jesus was a nice guy. Good to know.

​

The end

.. just kidding. I kept driving south, down to CA, following 101 as it looped in and out of the coast. It wasn't until Eureka that I was reminded of a specific subculture. The sun was setting as I drove through, and this is it, i knew it - The Walking Dead isn't fiction, its right here, game over and all I've got is a multitool. But it was only the patchouli and herb loving drum circle crowd and there were a lot of them coming out of the shadows. Maybe Phish was playing, but I think they broke up? Doesn't matter. Welcome back to California. I'm so excited to visit my dealership and have a really long conversation about the A/C, my feelings and unmet expectations and maybe a hug at the end. Nah, forget that. Time to find a dealer who will offer solutions and options. Wish me luck.

​

The real end

Don't know why you're still here. It's done. For real this time.

[mortemersgf]

blueberry pies

choices april challenge DAY 16: meteor shower

@choicesaprilchallenge​

THE ELEMENTALISTS: mostly just pend pals but there’s beckett harrington x f!mc (eden russell) too

summary: the pend pals celebrate their first day back at pendherghast by watching a meteor shower.

warnings: none

Eden turns to her twin, grinning, “Are you really going to join the Thief team this year?”

Chatter and laughter rings throughout the dining hall as she pushes open the large, ornate doors to the dining hall with Atlas in tow. It’s music to her ears. A new year at Penderghast has begun. This time without inevitable danger. Eden smiles to herself as she scans the large room, trying to locate where the rest of her friends are.

Atlas shrugs. “Maybe. With no Raife or Kane to threaten our lives this year, I think Thief is the closest thing to get my adrenaline running.”

“So you’re saying you miss fighting off old, power hungry men?” Eden teases, nudging her sister.

“God, no,” she says, shaking her head. “What I do miss are Yorba eggs and...” A mischievous smile spreads across her face as she trails off. “Last one to find the Pend Pals’ table is a rotten Yorba egg!” Without warning, she dashes off, leaving Eden at the entrance.

“Hey!” She blinks and sprints after Atlas. “Sorry! Excuse me, I’m sorry. Hi, Professor Englund! Excuse me!” The packed room is hard to maneuver around, causing her to mumble apologies as she dodges past students and faculty members with plates in their hands. Keeping an eye on Atlas’s bouncing, white hair, she finds the Pend Pals sitting at a table near the back of the large room.

“You’re a rotten Yorba egg!” Atlas laughs, slipping into a chair next to Aster. She runs a hand through her windswept hair and stabs a fork into a plate of Yorba eggs sitting in the middle of the table. Aster and Zeph squish her into a hug before she can eat, making her wiggle around in their embrace.

Eden takes the empty seat next to Beckett.

He stops reading a thick textbook, a warm smile blooming on his face. “Hey there,” he smiles, pulling her into a kiss.

“Hey, yourself,” she says after they part.

Atlas pantomimes barfing before shoveling more food into her mouth. “Please stop. You saw each other yesterday.”

“Atlas, relax. We just kissed. It’s not like we’re stripping down naked in front of all of you.” Eden rolls her eyes playfully at her sister.

Beckett groans, the tips of his ears growing red. He leans into his seat, embarrassed.

Eden’s eyes sweep over everyone, warmth and affection filling her chest. She grins. The Pend Pals are reunited again. After staring death in the face for two years straight, this year is finally going to be different. Third time’s the charm, everyone knows that. Griffin and Shreya are graduating. And the rest of of Pend Pals are going to declare their majors. It’s an exciting year to say the least.

“My favorite Sun-Att and Moon-Att! Just in time. How were your summer breaks? Tell me everything.” Shreya beams. She reaches over the table and squeezes Eden’s hand, eyeing everyone else around the table.

“I wemf to the Bahamaf and then om a camping trimf with Griffin and Beckett!” Zeph answers, mouth full of food.

Shreya and Atlas exchange a look of disgust while Griffin pats his enthusiastic friend’s back, chuckling, “Yes, we went on a camping trip in the Eldenwood Forest for two weeks.”

“Wait what? You three went on a camping trip?” Eden questions, disbelief thick in her voice. She lowers her voice and says to Beckett, “You didn’t tell me that.”

“I went on a camping trip with Zeph and Griffin,” he says, leaning in to peck her on the cheek.

Eden gives him a gentle shove. “How’d you convince Beckett to go? He can’t stand being around Zeph for more than 20 minutes, much less two straight weeks in nature with no escape.”

Beckett furrows his eyebrow at her, confused. “I enjoy Griffin and, from time to time, Zeph’s presence.”

“We’re practically brothers now, aren’t we Big B?” Zeph slings an arm around Beckett.

Beckett gives him an indifferent look, shrugging off his arm in response.

“Oh, you should’ve seen Beckett! He taught us so many yoga poses. It was really relaxing.” Griffin says. “Watch this!” He gets up and rubs his hands together, grinning. In mere seconds, he has his right arm stretched out in front of him and his left ankle in his left hand, pulling it away from his body.

Everyone around the table claps, laughing as they try to mimic Griffin’s pose.

“I got it, I got it!” Atlas shrieks.

“You’re just good at everything,” Eden grumbles, sliding back into her seat.

“Yah, it’s because I’m not a rotten Yorba egg,” Atlas taunts.

“Oh! Speaking of Yorba eggs, the saplings tried Attuned food for the first time this summer. I helped Professor Kontos teach them about Attuned magick and we cooked!” she pipes, a giddy smile on her face. The leaves in her hair rustle happily as everyone around the table asks “Did they like it?” and “What’d they think?”

“They loved it! The Resin spell was their favorite,” she answers.

“Well, I experimented with more spa products, like usual,” Shreya says, a bright grin spreading across her face. She takes a deep breath and announces, “And I have a new line coming out next month! It’s not like any other line I’ve done before because Nehal worked on it with me.”

“That’s amazing, Shreya,” Eden grins. “It must mean a lot to you.”

“It does... Serene and Sublime would be nothing without her support.” She almost seems shy as everyone around the table offers their congratulations. She tucks a chunk of hair behind her ear, smiling gratefully.

“Remind me when it comes out, Shreya. I loved the Dreamshade bath fizz.” Aster chirps.

“Oh, then you are going to love the new body oils, darling! Did I tell you…” While Shreya and Aster indulge in their own conversation, Griffin asks, “And what did Double Trouble over here get up to?”

“I did the internship with Katrina. We spent about a month on an island in the Pacific. It was so cool. There was this—” Eden abruptly gets cut off when Atlas says, “Yes, yes. There was this magickal scroll that foretold major historical events before it even happened. You only talked my ear off about it two hundred times.”

Eden scrunches her nose at her sister. “You’re just mad because you got grounded for the whole summer for blowing up one of Mom’s favorite vases.”

“I told her it was an accident! Who knew fizzleberry bombs were that strong?”

Zeph mumbles something under his breath before snorting to himself. Atlas raises an eyebrow at him inquisitively. “What?”

He says, laughing, “Tell me the rumors are true. I mean, do you know?”

She shifts her eyes to Eden. “What’s he talking about?”

Eden shrugs, shaking her head.

“You don’t know?” Zeph grins.

“No. I don’t. What?” Atlas snaps.

Slapping a hand over his mouth to stop his giggles, he screeches, “Ward likes you!”

The whole table goes silent for a moment. Atlas’ face contorts into an expression between anguish and fear. Shreya lets out a snicker, causing the rest of the table to burst into laughter. Griffin chortles as Eden clutches at her stomach, shaking with laughter. Even Beckett lets out a small chuckle.

“I heard him talking to Jonah about it at the Thief stadium just before I got here,” Zeph says.

Atlas shudders, shaking her head violently. “No, no, no.”

“Don’t tell us the almighty Atlas Ernhardt is afraid of a little crush,” Eden teases.

“Shut it, Eden or I’ll help you by shoving these breadsticks down your throat,” she grunts, leaning against her seat with her arms folded.

“Don’t incapacitate your sister just yet, Atlas! We have a meteor shower show to watch tonight. After that, she’s all yours.” Shreya says. Her eyes glitter with excitement as she shows everyone her phone.

“It says here that it’s observable from the quad,” Griffin reads. He leans back into his chair, a thoughtful look on his face. “I’ve never seen a meteor shower…”

“Oh! We can bring snacks and blankets! It’ll be so fun.” Aster claps her hands together and looks at everyone with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

Eden smiles. “Count us all in.”

—☽

When night falls, Eden tugs Beckett along by his hand through the large throng of students laying on the grass. They spot the Pend Pals setting up blankets in the middle of the quad. Zeph throws a blueberry in Atlas’ direction, high fiving when she catches it in her mouth.

“You seem very excited tonight,” Beckett chuckles at Eden’s bubbliness.

She beams, “Should I not be? My mom is back. The Pend Pals are back. It’s a new school year and our lives are finally not in grave danger.” She stops in front of a bench and spins around to face Beckett. “And that means more us time.”

Tiptoeing, Eden presses a light kiss to Beckett’s lips. He gives her a lopsided smile. “I quite like the sound of that.”

Soon, Eden is sandwiched between Atlas and Beckett, who has his nose deep in a Thaumaturgy textbook. Shreya hugs her knees as Aster passes the bag of blueberries to Atlas. She pops one into her mouth and squints up at the cloudless, dark sky.

Griffin turns around and hands Eden a paper plate. “Blueberry pie?”

“Oh, thank you.” She takes a bite, moaning with delight as the tart flavor of blueberry dances across her tongue. Some of the buttery crust sticks to her lips but she doesn’t even mind. “This is so good.”

“I baked it!” Zeph says, his eyes glittering with pride. “I added some minced up felifem leaves!” His cheek is smeared with a dash of blueberry filling as he holds up the near empty pie pan.

She gives him a thumbs up, nodding enthusiastically as she feeds herself spoonful after spoonful of the scrumptious pie. “Mmm… Ish good.” Out of the corner of her eye, she notices that Beckett has stopped reading. Instead, he’s staring at Eden, a small smile on his face.

“What?” Eden asks.

“Nothing,” he shrugs. He holds up his untouched slice of pie. “Would you like my slice?”

“You’d really let me have it?”

“I would give you anything you wanted”—he pushes his plate towards her—”Besides, there will be many more blueberry pies in our future.” He presses a kiss to her temple, leaning back to stroke Eden’s cheek.

Behind her, Atlas snorts. “I would give you anything you wanted,” she mocks. She stabs her fork into the pie.

Eden rolls her eyes, bumping her sister’s shoulder. “Are you excited for the meteor shower?”

Atlas speaks through a mouthful. “I doubt anything can impress me at this point.” She shoves a handful of blueberries into her already full mouth, earning an impressed look from Eden.

“Getting rid of an infamous child killer and defeating a Source does that to someone.”

A smug smile spreads across Atlas’ face.

“Oh, and tell me when you see Ward you’re going to use your famous pickup line.”

“What famous pickup line?”

“Uh, you know. The one? ‘You look… fertile?’ Ward seems nice.”

“I have standards.”

“Is that so? Tell me. I’m basically an expert in love.” Eden says.

“You’re the last person who I’d ask when it comes to love advice. Look at you, dating a walking encyclopedia.” Atlas scoffs.

Beckett perks up and turns to her, his expression unamused. “What an unconventional insult, Atlas.”

Without a word, she snaps her fingers and turns his book into a block of wood. Beckett retaliates by turning the bag of blueberries sitting in her lap into a frog. It leaps off of her thigh and disappears in the grass.

Atlas gasps, “Hey, my blueberries! You’re on, Harrington—”

“Quit it, you two! Look!” Eden says, pointing at the sky.

A meteor streaks across the sky, earning a chorus of “oooh” from the students. Another one soon follows, this one much brighter than the last. In no time at all, various meteors are shooting across the sky, leaving everyone wordless at the stunning sight.

Eden glances at Atlas to find her enraptured by the meteor shower. “Still not impressed?” she asks.

She smiles a little. “I guess it’s kind of pretty.”

“I like seeing you happy.” Eden says, wrapping an arm around her sister.

Atlas playfully shoves her away, trying her best to suppress a grin. “Stop being so sappy for once, you rotten Yorba egg.”

Chuckling, Eden leaves her twin to enjoy the meteor shower and leans her head on Beckett’s shoulder.

“This is the most marvelous sight I’ve ever laid eyes on…” he breathes out.

Eden stares up at his face, smiling when she notices his freckles are more obvious under the moonlight. “Oh? It’s not me naked?” she teases.

Beckett’s head swivels around to meet her cheeky smile. “You know what I mean, ” he mumbles, his cheeks bright red.

Eden presses a kiss to his cheek in response.

Leaning back on her arms, she couldn’t be more content. She inhales the night air, feeling more relaxed than ever. Crickets chirp in the grass rhythmically while the lake water ripples. My junior year is going to be filled with moments like these. Peace. Peace at last, Eden thinks.

Someone taps her on the shoulder.

Dean Swan crouches down and taps Atlas on the shoulder too. She pries her eyes away from the sky, looking puzzled when she sees the Dean. “Oh. Hello, Evelyn.”

Dean Swan nods and murmurs in a low voice, “The High Attuned would like to speak to you two. She’s waiting in my office.”

Eden blinks and exchanges a knowing look with Atlas.

So much for a peaceful year.

[euro3plast-fr]

AT&T Danced Their Way to the Top of the Optimization Charts — And You Can, too.

At AT&T, it’s safe to say, we don’t need any more acronyms. Just to survive in the world of AT&T, a pages-long running chart of acronyms is already necessary — and, whether necessary or not, acronyms are a nuisance. They like to hide in long strings of disorienting business jargon, alienate new team members, and trip up readers.

But, for the AT&T Center of Excellence, ABBA was different. It garnered the nostalgic inspiration so often created by ABBA’s songs — think of the youthful abandon of the “Dancing Queen,” so full of possibilities. When “Dancing Queen” hit number one on the charts, it did so in not only Sweden and Britain — where the music originated — but also faraway lands like Mexico, South Africa, and the US. People who heard it bought into the song’s vision and made it their own — just the type of buy-in we needed for our Center of Excellence.

Like the band, we used the acronym to create something uniquely our own. For us, ABBA means A/B Business Advisor, and it represents our Center of Excellence (or optimization program). And, while we admittedly make our work more fun by singing their songs, ABBA has also become a serious tool for advancing AT&T toward the delivery of exceptional customer experiences.

AT&T’s Chart-Topping Optimization Program Here’s a peek into our program — how we built it, the challenges we faced along the way, why it works, and the key takeaways you can use to start building your brand’s internal optimization program.

Set the Stage — Design the Right Organizational Structure for You. The average optimization team is swamped with endless testing requests from throughout the organization, so brands that are attempting to onboard the entire organization to optimization often become paralyzed with bottlenecks. To combat this, many brands try to spread the optimization resources across multiple, highly matrixed business units. What they often find is that, while the spirit of giving everyone in the organization autonomy to conduct A/B tests may be strong, it’s often unrealistic at scale. First, with each business line conducting independent tests, hundreds of tests could be going at once, hindering proper governance to avoid wasteful redundancy. Second, data discipline is likely to be low or lacking altogether. Remember that your tests are only as good as your lowest-quality data. So, when designing your optimization structure, data discipline must be a top priority.

To avoid these challenges and reap only rewards, we designed ABBA, an open-source structure. Instead of centralizing everything, ABBA centralizes the empowerment initiative in the organization. Sourced from our Center of Excellence, each group within the company — consumer, business, myAT&T sales, service, support, att.net, DirecTV, U-Verse, B2B, and so forth — has access to designated business advisors. Once deputized as main points of contact, these advisors are responsible for educating, evangelizing, and prioritizing tests within their assigned units. For instance, if the DirecTV team wants to do something on AT&T.com, their designated advisor is there to help drive that project within the Center of Excellence.

Rather than create a chokepoint, this model gives each business unit’s leader the freedom to swim themselves, allowing the Center to focus on strategic vision versus actual execution. The Center works only with ABBA members, and in turn, ABBA members work within their groups. The Center then manages delivery, organization-wide prioritization, and across-the-board decision-making.

Today, our Center of Excellence for A/B testing oversees as many as 50 tests — all running concurrently onsite across the organization at any given time — without risk of cross-contamination or redundancy. As a result, we’re designing better tests and obtaining better results.

Harmonize All Members — Scale to Support Your Entire Organization. When creating your organizational structure, your goal should be to not only manage efficiency in testing, but also support the entire organization, even from a small, central management team.

For us, this was a hefty, but essential, challenge to overcome. Within sales alone, we have 50 to 70 product marketers who can submit test requests — but we would be brought to our knees if we received test requests from every marketer. To buffer against paralysis, team leads do more than take requests, prioritize them as-is, and send them to the Center of Excellence. They become consultants who guide testing to produce the most meaningful results for their teams.

For example, to avoid redundancy, leads both inform their teams when requested tests have already been conducted in other parts of the organization and present their teams with the results. They also evangelize tools we’ve developed to simplify the process, including our knowledge base of past tests and optimizations that led to wins. By making sure we’re not always starting from scratch — but rather, using and building onto what we already know — we provide valuable tools for saving money and supporting our large organization and all our internal teams in the timeliest way possible, despite (or, perhaps, due to) having a small, central managing team.

Next, as The Center of Excellence tracks and reveals meanings and best practices from trends, team leads help filter these best practices across the organization. For example, the central team had a hunch that they could surface more-definitive insights by conducting bolder tests. To test this hunch, instead of focusing on neutral tests (such as light-blue versus dark-blue website buttons) as a company, team leads helped us focus on bolder tests (like blue versus yellow or gold website buttons). The results confirmed that bolder testing offers clearer insights into what works and what doesn’t. In turn, by guiding their teams to focus on conducting bolder tests, team leads could help us create an organization-wide initiative to test toward greater wins.

Excite Your Audience — Evangelize the Program to Secure Buy-In. To support the entire organization, we first had to build momentum with both bottom-up and top-down buy-in. To do this, we began small. When we identified a problem that one team was facing, we shared — and, therefore, evangelized — successes among other teams facing the same problem. In doing so, we convinced new teams to come on board.

From there, momentum spread. Big wins spread the quickest, so as new teams — from sales to entertainment to B2B — bought into the benefits of working under the Center of Excellence, word quickly spread through all levels of AT&T. In 2016, the Center of Excellence was presented our annual technology award from the highest levels of AT&T. Consequently, in addition to continuing to filter up through the organization, buy-in began to filter down as well.

Today, we’re building a deep base of tests to allow departments throughout the company to use stored information. Departments have shared their data, tests have spanned a wide range of segments — and cohesively, they’ve created a seamless, organization-wide A/B platform.

Top the Charts — Start Small to Create Big Wins. Once we experienced buy-in across AT&T, Dave Bilbrough, enterprise platform architect at Adobe, tested our Center of Excellence model across numerous industries and companies of all sizes — and, it worked!

Starting small, and with Dave’s guidance, a large retail bank operating in the southeastern US began implementing a similar model in their car-insurance division. After quickly experiencing double-digit boosts in conversions, they expanded the program to other parts of the bank. And, guess what — they experienced equally powerful wins in other business units as well, with double-digit boosts in conversions and delighted customers in its wake.

We Want Our Story to Help You. In speaking of the sensation that was the “Dancing Queen,” The Guardian’s Tim Jonze wrote, “Pete Waterman, who knows a thing or two about writing a hit, believes it exemplifies how the best Swedish artists are able to soak up popular trends and regurgitate them as something fresh.”

So, here is AT&T’s challenge for you: Don’t just emulate our story — instead, create something fresh, something better. Start with what inspires your team. For us, it was ABBA songs; for you, it may be zombies or — one of my personal favorites — Beetlejuice. Then, create strategic networks of small teams to avoid the bottlenecks often associated with large centralized teams. If your team is already small, you’re better positioned to create wins from the very beginning. On the other hand, if you’re a large team, develop a system to scale your efforts so you can both support and filter learned best practices throughout your entire organization. Further, don’t be afraid to start small, with one or two internal teams, and build momentum along the way. And, don’t be shy about passionately tracking and communicating wins at every opportunity and within every level of your organization.

The post AT&T Danced Their Way to the Top of the Optimization Charts — And You Can, too. appeared first on Digital Marketing Blog by Adobe.

from Digital Marketing Blog by Adobe https://blogs.adobe.com/digitalmarketing/personalization/att-danced-way-top-optimization-charts-can/

[mccullytech]

AT&T Danced Their Way to the Top of the Optimization Charts — And You Can, too.

At AT&T, it’s safe to say, we don’t need any more acronyms. Just to survive in the world of AT&T, a pages-long running chart of acronyms is already necessary — and, whether necessary or not, acronyms are a nuisance. They like to hide in long strings of disorienting business jargon, alienate new team members, and trip up readers.

But, for the AT&T Center of Excellence, ABBA was different. It garnered the nostalgic inspiration so often created by ABBA’s songs — think of the youthful abandon of the “Dancing Queen,” so full of possibilities. When “Dancing Queen” hit number one on the charts, it did so in not only Sweden and Britain — where the music originated — but also faraway lands like Mexico, South Africa, and the US. People who heard it bought into the song’s vision and made it their own — just the type of buy-in we needed for our Center of Excellence.

Like the band, we used the acronym to create something uniquely our own. For us, ABBA means A/B Business Advisor, and it represents our Center of Excellence (or optimization program). And, while we admittedly make our work more fun by singing their songs, ABBA has also become a serious tool for advancing AT&T toward the delivery of exceptional customer experiences.

AT&T’s Chart-Topping Optimization Program Here’s a peek into our program — how we built it, the challenges we faced along the way, why it works, and the key takeaways you can use to start building your brand’s internal optimization program.

Set the Stage — Design the Right Organizational Structure for You. The average optimization team is swamped with endless testing requests from throughout the organization, so brands that are attempting to onboard the entire organization to optimization often become paralyzed with bottlenecks. To combat this, many brands try to spread the optimization resources across multiple, highly matrixed business units. What they often find is that, while the spirit of giving everyone in the organization autonomy to conduct A/B tests may be strong, it’s often unrealistic at scale. First, with each business line conducting independent tests, hundreds of tests could be going at once, hindering proper governance to avoid wasteful redundancy. Second, data discipline is likely to be low or lacking altogether. Remember that your tests are only as good as your lowest-quality data. So, when designing your optimization structure, data discipline must be a top priority.

To avoid these challenges and reap only rewards, we designed ABBA, an open-source structure. Instead of centralizing everything, ABBA centralizes the empowerment initiative in the organization. Sourced from our Center of Excellence, each group within the company — consumer, business, myAT&T sales, service, support, att.net, DirecTV, U-Verse, B2B, and so forth — has access to designated business advisors. Once deputized as main points of contact, these advisors are responsible for educating, evangelizing, and prioritizing tests within their assigned units. For instance, if the DirecTV team wants to do something on AT&T.com, their designated advisor is there to help drive that project within the Center of Excellence.

Rather than create a chokepoint, this model gives each business unit’s leader the freedom to swim themselves, allowing the Center to focus on strategic vision versus actual execution. The Center works only with ABBA members, and in turn, ABBA members work within their groups. The Center then manages delivery, organization-wide prioritization, and across-the-board decision-making.

Today, our Center of Excellence for A/B testing oversees as many as 50 tests — all running concurrently onsite across the organization at any given time — without risk of cross-contamination or redundancy. As a result, we’re designing better tests and obtaining better results.

Harmonize All Members — Scale to Support Your Entire Organization. When creating your organizational structure, your goal should be to not only manage efficiency in testing, but also support the entire organization, even from a small, central management team.

For us, this was a hefty, but essential, challenge to overcome. Within sales alone, we have 50 to 70 product marketers who can submit test requests — but we would be brought to our knees if we received test requests from every marketer. To buffer against paralysis, team leads do more than take requests, prioritize them as-is, and send them to the Center of Excellence. They become consultants who guide testing to produce the most meaningful results for their teams.

For example, to avoid redundancy, leads both inform their teams when requested tests have already been conducted in other parts of the organization and present their teams with the results. They also evangelize tools we’ve developed to simplify the process, including our knowledge base of past tests and optimizations that led to wins. By making sure we’re not always starting from scratch — but rather, using and building onto what we already know — we provide valuable tools for saving money and supporting our large organization and all our internal teams in the timeliest way possible, despite (or, perhaps, due to) having a small, central managing team.

Next, as The Center of Excellence tracks and reveals meanings and best practices from trends, team leads help filter these best practices across the organization. For example, the central team had a hunch that they could surface more-definitive insights by conducting bolder tests. To test this hunch, instead of focusing on neutral tests (such as light-blue versus dark-blue website buttons) as a company, team leads helped us focus on bolder tests (like blue versus yellow or gold website buttons). The results confirmed that bolder testing offers clearer insights into what works and what doesn’t. In turn, by guiding their teams to focus on conducting bolder tests, team leads could help us create an organization-wide initiative to test toward greater wins.

Excite Your Audience — Evangelize the Program to Secure Buy-In. To support the entire organization, we first had to build momentum with both bottom-up and top-down buy-in. To do this, we began small. When we identified a problem that one team was facing, we shared — and, therefore, evangelized — successes among other teams facing the same problem. In doing so, we convinced new teams to come on board.

From there, momentum spread. Big wins spread the quickest, so as new teams — from sales to entertainment to B2B — bought into the benefits of working under the Center of Excellence, word quickly spread through all levels of AT&T. In 2016, the Center of Excellence was presented our annual technology award from the highest levels of AT&T. Consequently, in addition to continuing to filter up through the organization, buy-in began to filter down as well.

Today, we’re building a deep base of tests to allow departments throughout the company to use stored information. Departments have shared their data, tests have spanned a wide range of segments — and cohesively, they’ve created a seamless, organization-wide A/B platform.

Top the Charts — Start Small to Create Big Wins. Once we experienced buy-in across AT&T, Dave Bilbrough, enterprise platform architect at Adobe, tested our Center of Excellence model across numerous industries and companies of all sizes — and, it worked!

Starting small, and with Dave’s guidance, a large retail bank operating in the southeastern US began implementing a similar model in their car-insurance division. After quickly experiencing double-digit boosts in conversions, they expanded the program to other parts of the bank. And, guess what — they experienced equally powerful wins in other business units as well, with double-digit boosts in conversions and delighted customers in its wake.

We Want Our Story to Help You. In speaking of the sensation that was the “Dancing Queen,” The Guardian’s Tim Jonze wrote, “Pete Waterman, who knows a thing or two about writing a hit, believes it exemplifies how the best Swedish artists are able to soak up popular trends and regurgitate them as something fresh.”

So, here is AT&T’s challenge for you: Don’t just emulate our story — instead, create something fresh, something better. Start with what inspires your team. For us, it was ABBA songs; for you, it may be zombies or — one of my personal favorites — Beetlejuice. Then, create strategic networks of small teams to avoid the bottlenecks often associated with large centralized teams. If your team is already small, you’re better positioned to create wins from the very beginning. On the other hand, if you’re a large team, develop a system to scale your efforts so you can both support and filter learned best practices throughout your entire organization. Further, don’t be afraid to start small, with one or two internal teams, and build momentum along the way. And, don’t be shy about passionately tracking and communicating wins at every opportunity and within every level of your organization.

The post AT&T Danced Their Way to the Top of the Optimization Charts — And You Can, too. appeared first on Digital Marketing Blog by Adobe.

from Digital Marketing Blog by Adobe https://blogs.adobe.com/digitalmarketing/personalization/att-danced-way-top-optimization-charts-can/

[euro3plast-fr]

For a Chart-Topping Optimization Program, Accept AT&T’s Challenge.

At AT&T, it’s safe to say, we don’t need any more acronyms. Just to survive in the world of AT&T, a pages-long running chart of acronyms is already necessary — and, whether necessary or not, acronyms are a nuisance. They like to hide in long strings of disorienting business jargon, alienate new team members, and trip up readers.

But, for the AT&T Center of Excellence, ABBA was different. It garnered the nostalgic inspiration so often created by ABBA’s songs — think of the youthful abandon of the “Dancing Queen,” so full of possibilities. When “Dancing Queen” hit number one on the charts, it did so in not only Sweden and Britain — where the music originated — but also faraway lands like Mexico, South Africa, and the US. People who heard it bought into the song’s vision and made it their own — just the type of buy-in we needed for our Center of Excellence.

Like the band, we used the acronym to create something uniquely our own. For us, ABBA means A/B Business Advisor, and it represents our Center of Excellence (or optimization program). And, while we admittedly make our work more fun by singing songs, ABBA has also become a serious tool for advancing AT&T toward the delivery of exceptional customer experiences.

AT&T’s Chart-Topping Optimization Program Here’s a peek into our program — how we built it, the challenges we faced along the way, why it works, and the key takeaways you can use to start building your brand’s internal optimization program.

Set the Stage — Design the Right Organizational Structure for You. The average optimization team is swamped with endless testing requests from throughout the organization, so brands that are attempting to onboard the entire organization to optimization often become paralyzed with bottlenecks. To combat this, many brands try to spread the optimization resources across multiple, highly matrixed business units. What they often find is that, while the spirit of giving everyone in the organization autonomy to conduct A/B tests may be strong, it’s often unrealistic at scale. First, with each business line conducting independent tests, hundreds of tests could be going at once, hindering proper governance to avoid wasteful redundancy. Second, data discipline is likely to be low or lacking all together. Remember that your tests are only as good as your lowest-quality data. So, when designing your optimization structure, data discipline must be a top priority.

To avoid these challenges and reap only rewards, we designed ABBA, an open-source structure. Instead of centralizing everything, ABBA centralizes the empowerment initiative in the organization. Sourced from our Center of Excellence, each group within the company — consumer, business, myAT&T sales, service, support, att.net, DirecTV, U-Verse, B2B, and so forth — has access to designated business advisors. Once deputized as main points of contact, these advisors are responsible for educating, evangelizing, and prioritizing tests within their assigned units. For instance, if the DirecTV team wants to do something on AT&T.com, their designated advisor is there to help drive that project within the Center of Excellence.

Rather than create a chokepoint, this model gives each business unit’s leader the freedom to swim themselves, allowing the Center to focus on strategic vision versus actual execution. The Center works only with ABBA members, and in turn, ABBA members work within their groups. The Center then manages delivery, organization-wide prioritization, and across-the-board decision-making.

Today, our Center of Excellence for A/B testing oversees as many as 50 tests — all running concurrently onsite across the organization at any given time — without risk of cross-contamination or redundancy. As a result, we’re designing better tests and obtaining better results.

Harmonize All Members — Scale to Support Your Entire Organization. When creating your organizational structure, your goal should be to not only manage efficiency in testing, but also support the entire organization, even from a small, central management team.

For us, this was a hefty, but essential, challenge to overcome. Within sales alone, we have 50 to 70 product marketers who can submit test requests — but we would be brought to our knees if we received test requests from every marketer. To buffer against paralysis, team leads do more than take requests, prioritize them as-is, and send them to the Center of Excellence. They become consultants who guide testing to produce the most meaningful results for their teams.

For example, to avoid redundancy, leads both inform their teams when requested tests have already been conducted in other parts of the organization and present their teams with the results. They also evangelize tools we’ve developed to simplify the process, including our knowledge base of past tests and optimizations that led to wins. By making sure we’re not always starting from scratch — but rather, using and building onto what we already know — we provide valuable tools for saving money and supporting our large organization and all our internal teams in the timeliest way possible, despite (or, perhaps, due to) having a small, central managing team.

Next, as The Center of Excellence tracks and reveals meanings and best practices from trends, team leads help filter these best practices across the organization. For example, the central team had a hunch that they could surface more-definitive insights by conducting bolder tests. To test this hunch, instead of focusing on neutral tests (such as light-blue versus dark-blue website buttons) as a company, team leads helped us focus on bolder tests (like blue versus yellow or gold website buttons). The results confirmed that bolder testing offers clearer insights into what works and what doesn’t. In turn, by guiding their teams to focus on conducting bolder tests, team leads could help us create an organization-wide initiative to test toward greater wins.

Excite Your Audience — Evangelize the Program to Secure Buy-In. To support the entire organization, we first had to build momentum with both bottom-up and top-down buy-in. To do this, we began small. When we identified a problem that one team was facing, we shared — and, therefore, evangelized — successes among other teams facing the same problem. In doing so, we convinced new teams to come on board.

From there, momentum spread. Big wins spread the quickest, so as new teams — from sales to entertainment to B2B — bought in to the benefits of working under the Center of Excellence, word quickly spread through all levels of AT&T. In 2016, the Center of Excellence was presented our annual technology award from the highest levels of AT&T. Consequently, in addition to continuing to filter up through the organization, buy-in began to filter down as well.

Today, we’re building a deep base of tests to allow departments throughout the company to use stored information. Departments have shared their data, tests have spanned a wide range of segments — and cohesively, they’ve created a seamless, organization-wide A/B platform.

Top the Charts — Start Small to Create Big Wins. Once we experienced buy-in across AT&T, Dave Bilbrough, enterprise platform architect at Adobe, tested our Center of Excellence model across numerous industries and companies of all sizes — and, it worked!

Starting small, and with Dave’s guidance, a large retail bank operating in the southeastern US began implementing a similar model in their car-insurance division. After quickly experiencing double-digit boosts in conversions, they expanded the program to other parts of the bank. And, guess what — they experienced equally powerful wins in other business units as well, with double-digit boosts in conversions and delighted customers in its wake.

We Want Our Story to Help You. In speaking of the sensation that was the “Dancing Queen,” The Guardian’s Tim Jonze wrote, “Pete Waterman, who knows a thing or two about writing a hit, believes it exemplifies how the best Swedish artists are able to soak up popular trends and regurgitate them as something fresh.”

Now, It’s Your Turn.  So, here is AT&T’s challenge for you: Don’t just emulate our story — instead, create something fresh, something better. Start with what inspires your team. For us, it was ABBA songs; for you, it may be zombies or — one of my personal favorites — Beetlejuice. Then, create strategic networks of small teams to avoid the bottlenecks often associated with large centralized teams. If your team is already small, you’re better positioned to create wins from the very beginning. On the other hand, if you’re a large team, develop a system to scale your efforts so you can both support and filter learned best practices throughout your entire organization. Further, don’t be afraid to start small, with one or two internal teams, and build momentum along the way. And, don’t be shy about passionately tracking and communicating wins at every opportunity and within every level of your organization.

The post For a Chart-Topping Optimization Program, Accept AT&T’s Challenge. appeared first on Digital Marketing Blog by Adobe.

from Digital Marketing Blog by Adobe https://blogs.adobe.com/digitalmarketing/analytics/chart-topping-optimization-program-accept-atts-challenge/

[mccullytech]

For a Chart-Topping Optimization Program, Accept AT&T’s Challenge.

At AT&T, it’s safe to say, we don’t need any more acronyms. Just to survive in the world of AT&T, a pages-long running chart of acronyms is already necessary — and, whether necessary or not, acronyms are a nuisance. They like to hide in long strings of disorienting business jargon, alienate new team members, and trip up readers.

But, for the AT&T Center of Excellence, ABBA was different. It garnered the nostalgic inspiration so often created by ABBA’s songs — think of the youthful abandon of the “Dancing Queen,” so full of possibilities. When “Dancing Queen” hit number one on the charts, it did so in not only Sweden and Britain — where the music originated — but also faraway lands like Mexico, South Africa, and the US. People who heard it bought into the song’s vision and made it their own — just the type of buy-in we needed for our Center of Excellence.

Like the band, we used the acronym to create something uniquely our own. For us, ABBA means A/B Business Advisor, and it represents our Center of Excellence (or optimization program). And, while we admittedly make our work more fun by singing songs, ABBA has also become a serious tool for advancing AT&T toward the delivery of exceptional customer experiences.

AT&T’s Chart-Topping Optimization Program Here’s a peek into our program — how we built it, the challenges we faced along the way, why it works, and the key takeaways you can use to start building your brand’s internal optimization program.

Set the Stage — Design the Right Organizational Structure for You. The average optimization team is swamped with endless testing requests from throughout the organization, so brands that are attempting to onboard the entire organization to optimization often become paralyzed with bottlenecks. To combat this, many brands try to spread the optimization resources across multiple, highly matrixed business units. What they often find is that, while the spirit of giving everyone in the organization autonomy to conduct A/B tests may be strong, it’s often unrealistic at scale. First, with each business line conducting independent tests, hundreds of tests could be going at once, hindering proper governance to avoid wasteful redundancy. Second, data discipline is likely to be low or lacking all together. Remember that your tests are only as good as your lowest-quality data. So, when designing your optimization structure, data discipline must be a top priority.

To avoid these challenges and reap only rewards, we designed ABBA, an open-source structure. Instead of centralizing everything, ABBA centralizes the empowerment initiative in the organization. Sourced from our Center of Excellence, each group within the company — consumer, business, myAT&T sales, service, support, att.net, DirecTV, U-Verse, B2B, and so forth — has access to designated business advisors. Once deputized as main points of contact, these advisors are responsible for educating, evangelizing, and prioritizing tests within their assigned units. For instance, if the DirecTV team wants to do something on AT&T.com, their designated advisor is there to help drive that project within the Center of Excellence.

Rather than create a chokepoint, this model gives each business unit’s leader the freedom to swim themselves, allowing the Center to focus on strategic vision versus actual execution. The Center works only with ABBA members, and in turn, ABBA members work within their groups. The Center then manages delivery, organization-wide prioritization, and across-the-board decision-making.

Today, our Center of Excellence for A/B testing oversees as many as 50 tests — all running concurrently onsite across the organization at any given time — without risk of cross-contamination or redundancy. As a result, we’re designing better tests and obtaining better results.

Harmonize All Members — Scale to Support Your Entire Organization. When creating your organizational structure, your goal should be to not only manage efficiency in testing, but also support the entire organization, even from a small, central management team.

For us, this was a hefty, but essential, challenge to overcome. Within sales alone, we have 50 to 70 product marketers who can submit test requests — but we would be brought to our knees if we received test requests from every marketer. To buffer against paralysis, team leads do more than take requests, prioritize them as-is, and send them to the Center of Excellence. They become consultants who guide testing to produce the most meaningful results for their teams.

For example, to avoid redundancy, leads both inform their teams when requested tests have already been conducted in other parts of the organization and present their teams with the results. They also evangelize tools we’ve developed to simplify the process, including our knowledge base of past tests and optimizations that led to wins. By making sure we’re not always starting from scratch — but rather, using and building onto what we already know — we provide valuable tools for saving money and supporting our large organization and all our internal teams in the timeliest way possible, despite (or, perhaps, due to) having a small, central managing team.

Next, as The Center of Excellence tracks and reveals meanings and best practices from trends, team leads help filter these best practices across the organization. For example, the central team had a hunch that they could surface more-definitive insights by conducting bolder tests. To test this hunch, instead of focusing on neutral tests (such as light-blue versus dark-blue website buttons) as a company, team leads helped us focus on bolder tests (like blue versus yellow or gold website buttons). The results confirmed that bolder testing offers clearer insights into what works and what doesn’t. In turn, by guiding their teams to focus on conducting bolder tests, team leads could help us create an organization-wide initiative to test toward greater wins.

Excite Your Audience — Evangelize the Program to Secure Buy-In. To support the entire organization, we first had to build momentum with both bottom-up and top-down buy-in. To do this, we began small. When we identified a problem that one team was facing, we shared — and, therefore, evangelized — successes among other teams facing the same problem. In doing so, we convinced new teams to come on board.

From there, momentum spread. Big wins spread the quickest, so as new teams — from sales to entertainment to B2B — bought in to the benefits of working under the Center of Excellence, word quickly spread through all levels of AT&T. In 2016, the Center of Excellence was presented our annual technology award from the highest levels of AT&T. Consequently, in addition to continuing to filter up through the organization, buy-in began to filter down as well.

Today, we’re building a deep base of tests to allow departments throughout the company to use stored information. Departments have shared their data, tests have spanned a wide range of segments — and cohesively, they’ve created a seamless, organization-wide A/B platform.

Top the Charts — Start Small to Create Big Wins. Once we experienced buy-in across AT&T, Dave Bilbrough, enterprise platform architect at Adobe, tested our Center of Excellence model across numerous industries and companies of all sizes — and, it worked!

Starting small, and with Dave’s guidance, a large retail bank operating in the southeastern US began implementing a similar model in their car-insurance division. After quickly experiencing double-digit boosts in conversions, they expanded the program to other parts of the bank. And, guess what — they experienced equally powerful wins in other business units as well, with double-digit boosts in conversions and delighted customers in its wake.

We Want Our Story to Help You. In speaking of the sensation that was the “Dancing Queen,” The Guardian’s Tim Jonze wrote, “Pete Waterman, who knows a thing or two about writing a hit, believes it exemplifies how the best Swedish artists are able to soak up popular trends and regurgitate them as something fresh.”

Now, It’s Your Turn.  So, here is AT&T’s challenge for you: Don’t just emulate our story — instead, create something fresh, something better. Start with what inspires your team. For us, it was ABBA songs; for you, it may be zombies or — one of my personal favorites — Beetlejuice. Then, create strategic networks of small teams to avoid the bottlenecks often associated with large centralized teams. If your team is already small, you’re better positioned to create wins from the very beginning. On the other hand, if you’re a large team, develop a system to scale your efforts so you can both support and filter learned best practices throughout your entire organization. Further, don’t be afraid to start small, with one or two internal teams, and build momentum along the way. And, don’t be shy about passionately tracking and communicating wins at every opportunity and within every level of your organization.

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