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xmasterofmunsonx · 2 months ago

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Under Pressure

Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x Reader

Rating: 18+ eventually - mentions of miscarriage, drugs, and language

Summary: You’re a top chef from Atlanta, who gets scouted for a program to help integrate temporary chefs into restaurants across the US to bring something new to each restaurant. Your assignment? The Bear, in Chicago. Your new head chef? Carmen Berzatto.

THE BEAR

DAY 1

Your morning started off rough, the coffee pot in the short term rental wasn’t working, and you barely slept the night before in anticipation of this day. Your boss Ryan had already sent you a good luck text knowing how nervous you probably were. This was a new program where restaurants were switching out chefs for a few months at a time to bring in new ideas, and hopefully improve business. You’d been scouted by Natalie from the Bear, and as soon as you heard that it was a chance to be in Chicago with your brother for 3-6 months depending on how well it went, you jumped at the opportunity.

Your rental was just a few minutes walk to the restaurant, Natalie had scouted the place out for you over a few FaceTime calls, and the company organizing this program handled everything else.

You took a few deep breaths before walking into The Bear, where you were greeted by Natalie’s smiling face. She must have spotted and announced that you were standing outside waiting, because by the time you were walking in you could see heads peeking through the kitchen window. You were dressed casually, not knowing what to expect for tonight- what station you’d be put at, or if you’d be dealing with the front of the house at all. You wiped your nervous, sweaty hands on your jeans before shaking her hand and introducing yourself to her.

Her smile was warm, and she held out a hand to you, “it’s so nice to see you in person finally! Welcome to the Bear, we’re so excited to have you here. And thank you for being so willing to come spend time here.”

You offered a smile, your southern accent slipped out more than you meant to, “Thanks Natalie, I’m looking forward to it. I’ve heard so much about this place.”

“Please, just call me Nat, okay? Your accent is precious- it’s even more in person.” She offered another big smile to you.

“Yeah,” you laughed, “at dinner last night I had three people say something about it so I guess it’s stronger than I thought.” You scratched your neck nervously, “am I dressed okay? I didn’t know how you guys were with tattoos, but I figured I could stay in the back tonight if I had to and wear something to cover them up tomorrow-”

“Please, you’re going to fit right in. C’mon back here and I’ll introduce you to everyone. They’re all prepping for the day, you got here at a perfect time.”

Nat lead you into the kitchen, where the team was already starting to prep for the day. You looked around at the organized chaos and smiled to yourself, it felt like a good fit already despite the nerves still in your stomach. You could tell they took pride in their kitchen by the pristine countertops, and the organization of each station. You were too busy looking around to realize that everyone had stopped what they were doing and had their attention on you.

Nat clapped to get everyone out of their strange daze, “Hey everyone, listen! Here’s our guest chef we’ve been talking about. Just a reminder, she’ll be here for 3-6 months depending on how things go, so treat her nicely, all of you. She’s here to help us, bring in some fresh ideas, and maybe even get things running a little bit smoother.”

You waved at everyone nervously with a small smile, “Hey everyone. I’m really excited to be here. Nat’s done a wonderful job telling me all about everything amazing y’all already have going on for you, and I’m honored to be here. I couldn’t believe I was scouted over my head chef, Ryan.”

A woman in the back made a comment, “that’s because we need more calm in this place. That one beside you can get a hot head sometimes, we needed another woman in here. I’m Tina, by the way.” She smiled at you, and you looked to your left at the well known chef you had heard about already - Carmen Berzatto. You may have been all the way in Atlanta but you knew him and you knew his reputation. He was shorter than you had expected, but his presence was strong.

Carmen was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, and you felt like you were under his microscope. You knew how he felt, you were a guest in his kitchen, and you knew what it was like to have someone who could potentially be invading upon your space. You’d read all the articles, done your research and you knew this kitchen ran like a well oiled machine.

“Good to have you here, Chef.” He spoke calmly, and extended his hand, his large one completely enveloping your small tattooed one. You saw him take a glance at them, but he made no comment.

Another girl stepped forward, a much warmer smile on her face, “I’m Chef Sydney, and we’re excited to have you here even if someone doesn’t know how to show it.” She was motioning her head to Carmen and you just shook your head with her.

“I’m Richie,” a tall man emerged from the side of the kitchen, “welcome to the jungle of this kitchen. We’re all a bunch of fuckin’ lunatics, so I wish you the best of luck.” You laughed at his introduction and shook his hand politely too.

“Believe me, I’ve worked in chaos before. I fully believe I can keep up with it here.”

“You? A Michelin star chef have worked in a wild kitchen before? That’s hard to believe.” You blushed at the fact that he’d also done his research on you. It was something you were proud of accomplishing so early on in your career, but you stayed humble about it. “But you’ve never worked with bear over there. He’s a tough one.”

“Shut up, cousin.” Carmen snapped at him quickly without looking up.

The rest of the team laughed, the tension easing slightly as they adjusted to your laid back energy.

Nat guided you over to Carmen’s station where he had resumed his prep for the day, “As we discussed on our calls, Carmen’s in full charge of the kitchen. He’s the one who will keep you updated everyday, and if you need anything, or if he makes you cry, tell me or Richie.” She winked as Carmen tensed and rolled his eyes.

“Your kitchen is beautiful, I heard about all the renovations.” Carmen nodded, his expression was serious, but not angry.

“Thanks, it took a lot to get here.” He put down his utensils and walked you over to a blank prep space, “You’re on sauce for tonight, think you can handle that?” You nodded, “alright then, we’ll get you settled.”

You took your place in the kitchen, already starting to acclimate to the flow of the kitchen after he explained everything to you. The staff started out initially a little wary, and you could tell by their glances, so you tried to play it as cool as you could, which seemed to make everyone warm up to you quickly. You knew you tended to have an exterior calm demeanor, no matter how you were feeling inside, but your quick wit fit in perfectly with the jokes floating around all night.

You felt Carmen’s eyes on you almost the entire first shift, and you wondered what it was about. Was he regretting his choice of you over Ryan? Were you overstepping in some way he wasn’t voicing to you? Thoughts about you being unwanted were already starting to intrude on your thoughts, and because of your overthinking, you had one small slip up with the sauce that you hoped he hadn’t seen, but his raised eyebrow seemed to clue you in that you weren’t as sly as you thought.

“Won’t happen again, Chef.” You said, as you passed the fixed dish to him. He observed the plate, nodded and called for it to be taken to the table.

EVENING

The kitchen was finally quiet for the night, and you were sweaty. Your hair had made it up into a bun on top of your head, your bangs stuck to your forehead, and you had shed your layers of chef coat down to your simple black t-shirt. You loved staying past close, the lack of clattering dishes, orders being barked, “behind!”, “hands!”, etc. hadn’t been spoken in about 20 minutes and all you could hear were softer noises of things being scrubbed down.

Carmen was busy wiping down the counter tops after you’d cleared them all off, and he’d dismissed everyone else to go home. He didn’t say it to you, and you didn’t want to seem lazy on your first day, so you took the initiative to start organizing prep for tomorrow thanks to the lists and clipboards all around. You appreciated the way the kitchen was similarly organized to yours, but his was a little more controlled, and yours a little more relaxed.

“So, that accent of yours.” Carmen had a smirk on his face as he glanced up at you, “didn’t know people in Atlanta sounded quite like that.” He raised an eyebrow at you and you chuckled.

“I’m actually not from Atlanta.” Carmen leaned against the countertop, crossing his arms again, ready to listen. “I’m from a tiny town a few hours outside of Atlanta, went to school-”

“Oh, I know where you’ve been. We can skip all that.” You wiped your hands nervously on a kitchen towel and leaned against a different counter, facing him. He was trying to intimidate you, but you weren’t giving in. “So, you landed in Atlanta, huh? That’s a good food scene.”

“Yeah, it’s been a ride. I started in this tiny diner back home as a teenager, nothing fancy, but I learned a lot there, and that’s what originally made me want to become a chef. My parents would always ask what I wanted for my birthday and from about age 10 and up, I’d ask for a nice meal at a fancy restaurant in the big city.”

“That’s cute.” Carmen was listening intently and you were wondering what his intentions were with this conversation. “How would you say today went? Feel good about it?”

“Actually, yeah. You definitely know how to run a kitchen. I mean- I didn’t think you didn’t, but I felt really comfortable here and only fucked up once so I would say that’s pretty good. You run it like it’s nothing.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s nothing, I’ve been doing it for a while now. You get a pass for today, but we don’t have time for fuckups, even if they’re small, m’kay? I could tell you were on the verge of a panic attack once you noticed I saw it so I let it slide since you fixed it, but I expect perfection every day, just so you know.”

You nodded, understanding completely since you were the same way. “Understood, just first day jitters.” You glanced around again, “You can tell this is a special kitchen. You, or someone has put a lot of heart into it and I can tell just from the first day of being here, feels right at home. I was so nervous about it.”

There was a look in Carmen’s eyes that you couldn’t quite figure out, “Yeah, we’ve put a lot of heart into this place. All of us. And we’re trying to keep it that way.”

You nodded understanding him, he was setting some soft boundaries already about not wanting to change much. You could tell he appreciated you noticing that he’d put his heart into it as he went back to cleaning off the counters, it was something you hoped people would always feel in your own space.

Carmen glanced up again, “So really, what brought you here? Other than the program, why Chicago- the Bear? We don’t have a star.”

You pause, unsure of how deep you wanted to go with the answer. You started to smile as you spoke, “I needed a change. And when I was offered the opportunity by the program, and here was one of the options, after speaking to Nat, I knew it would be the right move.”

You couldn’t help but turn your smile into a grin as you felt an understood respect between the two of you that couldn’t have happened during service earlier today. You were much more at ease now that he understood why you were here.

The air between you two was more comfortable, as you were finishing up the last bits of the closing duties. You heard Carmen clear his throat, trying to keep his tone casual as he glances over at you, wiping down the last of the counters.

“So, you’ve got anyone waiting for you back in Atlanta? Married, dating...?”

You looked up, raising an eyebrow at him as you felt a smile creep onto your face. This isn’t the first time you’ve been nonchalantly asked about your personal life in a kitchen, by a male especially, and you could tell he was just curious by his other questions about where you came from.

“Not anymore. I was married, divorced now. A uh, very brief marriage.” You could tell the word shocked him, it did most people.

“What uh, what happened?”

You sighed, finishing up completely for the night. “Yeah, married very briefly- it didn’t last long. Six months, to be exact. He started cheating on me after I got sober, and I found out six months after we got married.”

You watched as Carmen’s eyebrows knitted together, something in him darkening a little. “Thats fucked up.”

You nodded, “Yeah, it wasn’t easy. He was an enabler, and I guess he couldn’t handle the positive changes I was making for myself. The most fucked up part, was he told me he was cheating on me while I was in the hospital miscarrying, from all the goddamn stress he was putting me through. He left me there alone, and moved his shit out of my house and once I was discharged, I came home to a half empty house. So, that’s why I needed Chicago.” You don’t know why you were so vulnerable so quick, and you regretted immediately when there was a moment of silence between you two that lasted just a little too long.

“Thats really fucking heavy. I uh, I’m really sorry. I wouldn’t have asked if I knew about all of that.” You nodded, appreciating his understanding. “How long have you been sober now?”

“Two years and a few weeks.” You said simply. You saw a look in his eyes again as he scratched at his eye, but not saying anything back. You sighed again, “Sorry for just… laying all of that on you. The city, restaurant, pretty much... everything was tied to him, to that past life. I just needed a small break, a fresh start. Ryan was really supportive, and I still can’t believe I got picked over him, so thank you.”

Carmen nodded, “Yeah, yeah. I totally get needing a change, finding something new without the weight of the past can be hard but I think we’re all glad you’re here. Sydney and I talked for a long time before we decided on you.”

His eyes were softer now, and you could tell there was more he wanted to say but he didn’t allow himself to be anymore vulnerable than he already was.

“Well, I think that’s enough for today. You did a good job today, Chef. Thanks for putting in the extra work tonight too, you didn’t have to do that.”

“If you don’t mind, it’s kinda my favorite part of the day to participate in, I like the quiet before going home. Helps me relax some and leave anything at work, at work.”

Carmen nodded, “Well, it wasn’t expected but it was appreciated. I know they’ll appreciate it tomorrow too when they come in.”

You two walked out together, and told each other goodbye and went your separate ways.

You picked up your phone to call your brother who was living in Chicago too- he had been for a while, you had had dinner with him last night and you knew he was eagerly waiting to hear about your first day.

“So, is he hotter in person than in the pictures?” Your brother asked before he even greeted you, and you heard his boyfriend Blake laughing in the background. You turned around to see Carmen still walking the opposite direction.

“God, shut up. I don’t know, I’m just here to work. My day was fine, by the way. Actually only fucked up once and I didn’t get yelled at.”

“Probably because he thinks you’re cuuuute.” Blake was teasing- you knew at this point you were on speaker phone.

“Fuck both of you.” You were blushing at this point. “I’m working at one of the best restaurants in the city and all you care about is how hot the chef is?”

“C’mon, he’s practically a model. His arms- are they that big, or are they photoshopped?” You rolled your eyes, you should have known this was coming from them.

“They’re really that big and only a little distracting, okay?” You bit your lip, trying not to smile. “He’s alright.” You couldn’t let them know about the post work conversation you both had.

“Ugh, just imagine him all sweaty and yelling out orders. I’d thank him for yelling at me.”

“Blake, come on! I’m a professional chef and you’re being ridiculous.” You were glad they couldn’t see your blushing face, because there were a few times tonight you were thankful the kitchen was as hot as it was because his voice did sound rather… hot as he was barking orders. The way he had full control over his staff, versus your calm demeanor in your kitchen. “He’s intense, but he’s really good at what he does.”

“Ugh, the hot brooding type, and the skills to go with it? I bet he’s good with his hands.” Blake said, and you hollered for your brother to take over the phone call before you got overwhelmed.

“Stop it, he’s my boss.” You continued walking at a fast pace to get back to your apartment.

“So no sneaky make out sessions in the walk-in?”

“BROTHER! GET YOUR PARTNER OFF THE PHONE!” You yelled as you laughed.

“I’m glad you had a good day.” Your brother had picked up the phone, finally. “And who knows, maybe the hot chef with the temper is just what-”

“Fuck off! Both of you!” Your heart was actually warm at the teasing, you knew they were worried about you and wanted the best for you.

“I’m glad you had a good day. Even though you have to let us know if things heat up with you two.” Your brother spoke.

“Thanks, and I truly needed the laugh. I’m almost to the house now, so I’ll talk to you both later.” You ended the call, biting your lip to hold back a smirk as you thought about your day. You plopped down on your couch, thinking of nothing but the intense chef you spent the whole day with, and now you couldn’t get him off of your mind.

THE BEAR

DAY 2

Your second day started off different than the first. Maybe it’s because you were more comfortable, or because you let some walls down last night, but you felt a lot of tension in the air tonight as you were all busy during dinner service.

Carmen had assumed his position at the pass, his eyes constantly scanning the kitchen, but you felt them burning into you, and every chance you looked at him, you caught him stealing a look at you.

Your technique was not one to be fucked with, honestly. You were smooth, well practiced, and efficient. You knew what you were doing, and you were doing it really well. Other members of the staff had complimented you all night, and you couldn’t thank them enough for their kindness.

What you didn’t know, was that this was starting to gnaw at Carmen already. His temper was flaring as the orders picked up, and his voice had a new edge to it that had you making sure you were doing everything perfectly tonight.

You knew he knew about you, and you felt respected by him after last nights talk, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he was acting like this tonight to prove that this was his kitchen, no matter who was receiving the compliments.

“Sauce, NOW! We don’t have all fuckin’ night for this!” He yelled out harshly, and you responded completely unfazed by this tonal change.

Your hands picked up the pace, working quicker than before and more precise than before as well. It seemed to piss him off more that you weren’t barking back, just yet at least, and you couldn’t let him get under your skin like you knew you were under his.

“Yes, Chef, sending sauce now!” You observed him as he took the plate. He analyzed everything about it, and you knew what he was doing. You’d seen it time and time again in men-ran kitchens. They loved to critique the women more than anything and they were willing to throw out a perfectly good dish just for the sake of their ego.

“Too thick. Sending back, didn’t I tell you we don’t have time for this?” He handed it back to you, and looked elsewhere, barking out another order.

You nodded and immediately got back to work, adjusting the sauce the tiniest bit because you knew it was the perfect thickness. It was identical to last nights, and he hadn’t said anything about it last night. Your eyebrows were furrowed as you put together the dish again. You wanted to argue back the more you thought about it, but you decided not to.

Everyone was on edge at this point. Carmen had turned into the chef you’d been warned about, the volatile, temper tantrum throwing chef. You glanced up at Sydney and she offered you a smile with her shrug, mouthing that it was okay.

Carmen’s frustration continued to build as the night went on, and it’s as if each dish you sent up that was perfect only pissed him off more and more. You could tell it was bothering him.

“C’mon guys, move faster! We’re behind as it is!” He snapped and you looked back over at him, as he was glaring daggers at you.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself, but picked up your pace even more, staying just as precise as before. You weren’t letting him get to you, and you could tell he was growing more frustrated. He was being too hard on you, but he couldn’t stop- he was starting to feel lesser in his own kitchen and it was only your second day. How the hell could you do this for three months?

You sent up another flawless dish, and he glared at you.

“Carmen, I’ve got this.” You put your hand on top of his gently. He froze and snapped his eyes back to you. You were quiet, and confident, and it wasn’t something he was used to having to deal with.

“I need this shit done my way.” His voice was low, and his jaw was clenched. Okay, maybe your brother and his boyfriend were right. He was kinda hot.

You locked eyes with him, “I’m aware. This is your kitchen, I’m just here to help, chef.“

There was a thickness in the air between you two, and he paused before speaking. You realized in that moment that Carmen was going to be hard on you just because you were good. He’s not used to being the one not being complimented, or in control. Somehow, your calm demeanor had changed the air of the kitchen and almost made it seem like you were the one running it because you were being so efficient, and that’s what pissed him off.

The rest of the night continued on, but you could tell Carmen was exhausted in every way possible. He’d pushed you and everyone else too hard tonight. You were cleaning up your station with ease, not letting it show how defeated and beat down you had been made to feel, but you knew it was because of his insecurity.

One by one, the kitchen clears up. Carmen leans against the counter with his arms tightly crossed, his biceps practically bulging out of his tshirt, watching you finish up. The room is quiet again, but the tension from earlier still lingered in the air.

“Been on my case all fuckin’ day, Carmy.” You’d picked the name up from everyone else around you and decided to pull it out while you two were alone. “What’s the problem?”

Carmen stiffens slightly at the sound of your voice, the nickname rolling off your tongue so smoothly, but he doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he pushes off the counter, walking slowly towards you, his jaw tight. He knows you’re right—he’s been harder on you than anyone else.

“I’m just making sure things get done right.” He answered through his clenched jaw.

You raised your eyebrow at him, matching his posture and pose. You could smell bullshit from a mile away. Your frustration was simmering, and you tried to not let it show. “That’s not what this is about. I’ve been running kitchens long enough to know when someone’s got a problem with me. So what’s the fucking problem?”

He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. He leaned against the counter next to you, and you could tell he was searching for the right response. He was quiet, and less defensive when he answered. “You’ve been doing everything right. That’s the problem.”

You titled your head, completely confused by his answer. “Not following here. Like, at all. I get picked on when I do things correctly? Because that’s… not exactly what I signed up for, Carmen.”

Carmen gripped the roots of his hair and let out an exasperated breath when he looked at you. “You’re good—really fuckin’ good. Better than most people I’ve worked with. And it’s... you’re throwing me off.”

You watch him, your brow furrowing as your mind starts to race. You know exactly what it’s like to work with people who can’t handle someone who’s just as good, or better, than they are, especially men. But Carmen’s answer feels different- he isn’t just being competitive.

You dropped your attitude, “You feel like I’m stepping on your toes?”

You watched as his sharp jaw got tighter, and he looked away from you as he avoided answering you. You let him simmer, waiting for him to come up with what he was trying to say.

“Yeah, I mean, maybe. You’ve got the Michelin star restaurant, the experience... It’s hard not to feel like I’m being compared to that. You’ve been here 2 days and everyone already loves you and what you’re making.” Ah, he felt like he was going to lose control of his kitchen.

You felt your frustration melt a little but as you calmed your voice down, l“I didn’t come here to compete with you. I’m here to help. That’s it.”

Carmen exhales, and you hope he realizes that’s all you’re here for.

His voice was low, “I know... it’s just...” He pauses, insecurity written all over his face.

You finish the sentence for him, “It’s hard to let someone else take some of the control.”

Carmen nods, his eyes meeting yours again. You totally got it- you know what it’s like to be in his position, to feel like you have to prove yourself every day, even when you’ve already proven it a hundred times over.

“Yeah. Something like that.”

You smile gently, feeling the tension between you two easing as she steps even closer, standing just a few steps away from him now.

“Look, I promise I’m not here to take over. This is your kitchen. I respect that. But I’m good at what I do, and I think we can make this place even better if we work together. I can take whatever step back that I need to. Fuck, put me on dishes tomorrow. But you can not take this insecure shit out on me tomorrow. I’ve paid my dues in hell kitchens before and I know yours is not one, but you’re not going to make it one for me either. I’m here to help.”

He nods, his shoulders relaxing a bit. “What’s your favorite late night snack?”

“What?” You looked at him like he had two heads because he changed the subject so quickly.

“What’s your favorite late night snack? You’re here late enough, what can I make you?”

“Nothing, I’ve got some leftovers at home.” You lied- you had something frozen at home, but honestly you were probably just going to eat a piece of bread with peanut butter before you pass out.

“Nah, I’m making you something. If you don’t tell me anything I’m gonna just pick something.”

“But we already cleaned!” You stomped your foot, and that earned a smile out of him. “Grilled cheese.”

He clapped his hands together, “Yes, that sounds delicious. Garlic butter or salted butter?”

Your mouth was already watering, “garlic butter of course.”

“That’s the correct answer.” He got to work quickly, not making a mess of the counters to undo any of your work. You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, and saw it was your brother so you answered it.

“You’re still there?” He asked you.

“Yes, I’m still here. Stop stalking my location or I’m turning it off for you. Closing down a restaurant takes a while.” You said back to him, quickly. Carmen turned around to watch you as you paced the kitchen and he waited for the pan to warm up.

“You sure you’re just closing the restaurant?” His partner chimed in.

“Blake, shut the fuck up.” You knew you were as red as a tomato. Carmen mouthed the word, “what?” “My brother and his partner think you’re the hottest chef in Chicago.”

You held the phone away from your ear as they both cussed you out and yelled at you for outing them, saying they’d never be able to show their face at the restaurant.

“Then quit giving me shit!” You yelled back.

“How was today?” Your brother asked, calmed down.

“It was…” you looked around and Carmen had turned back around to the pan on the gas stove. “It was a day.”

“Oooooh. You’ll have to give the hot tea later. About the hottie.”

“Stop iiiiiiiiiit.” You whined, and Carmen turned around again, laughing at you. “I gotta go, you two go to bed. It’s past your bedtime.” You hung up the phone before they could say anything else, and you placed your phone on the counter. “Sorry. He lives like, five minutes down the road and he is so excited to have me in town that he calls me all the time, and checks in on me-”

“You okay over there? You look a little flustered.” Carmen teased you, and you were mortified.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“You two seem pretty close.”

“Yeah, we are, we’re actually twins.” You were born first, and you would always brag about it.

“Oh shit! That’s cool.”

“Yeah, except I got all the brains apparently. He’s an idiot and doesn’t know how to act. Sorry about all the uh, stuff.” You vaguely motioned, and blushed, suddenly focused on the fact that Carmen’s arms were naturally flexing as he flipped the grilled cheese sandwich in the pan. Your brother wasn’t completely wrong.

“He thinks I’m the hottest chef in Chicago, does he? Don’t twins like, share brain cells or something?” He turned around to make you blush even more.

“God, stop it, Carmen. It’s been two days and you’re technically my boss, so stop.” You buried your face in your hands, until you felt two hands grab onto your wrists and pull them away.

“Sorry, I overstepped. I was just going along with his teasing. Is he as southern as you?” He squeezed your hands before he let go and went back to the stove.

“God, no. He learned how to talk differently in high school and he never got his accent back. Moved up here for college and stayed ever since.”

“So you’ve come up here to see him before?” He was cooking a sandwich for himself and he was testing the sides to see if they were done yet.

“Once or twice. Not enough, I’m really glad to be able to be here to see him for this long.”

“You know, the program is kind of a placement program too, so if you wanted to-”

“I’m not trying to get ahead of myself here. I’m just needing a vacation from Atlanta, a working vacation, and somewhere that everyone doesn’t call me ma’am.” You joked.

“Triangles or squares?” Carmen asked, putting the sandwiches on paper towels.

“What?” You were confused at his question.

“You seem like a square sandwich kinda person, don’t tell me you like triangles?”

“Is there any other way to cut a grilled cheese, Berzatto?” He raised his eyebrow at you and said nothing, just cut the sandwich into four slices. “They taste better.”

He laughed at your childish comment, “you’re honestly not wrong.”

You helped him clean up the small mess he made and walked out of the restaurant with him again, but you both hesitated at the door tonight.

Carmen’s hands were shoved into his pockets as he cleared his throat, “Hey, you wanna come in early tomorrow and help me with the special?”

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor. You weren’t expecting this kind of integration into the staff or menu yet- three days in. This was a huge deal.

“You really want me to help?”

He scratched his head, “Didn’t we just have a conversation about how you were here to help? I think you’ve got some good ideas, and I think you can handle it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I will.” You tried to fight back the smile you had on your face at the recognition he was giving you after a bad day today.

“Just uh, don’t be late.” He teased you.

“I wouldn’t dare.” You teased back, already wishing this was the Carmen that you were dealing with every day for the next three months. “Thanks for the sandwich.”

“Thanks for everything tonight, Chef.” You blushed again at the comment and waved bye as you made your way to your home, your cheeks keeping you warm the entire walk back.

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fanfic #the bear fx #the bear fanfiction #the bear fic #the bear #jeremy allen white #jeremy allen white x reader

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ljwillisdesigner · 1 month ago

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k-evans-reads · 7 months ago

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In Living Color

Chapter 25

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Previous | Main Masterlist | In Living Color Masterlist

July 25th, 2022

Chris let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into his mother’s house from the back door, the cool air of the home giving him and Scott a reprieve from the heatwave outside. They found their Ma in her kitchen, putting away some groceries with a smile on her face as she saw her sons.

“I certainly didn’t expect to see you here today,” Lisa greeted, coming over to hug them both. She hugged Scott before hugging Chris, holding her oldest son's arms as she pulled away and told him, “I figured it would take at least another day for you to recover from the press tour.”

Chris laughed, the sound echoing through the otherwise quiet home. “Oh I’ll be going to bed early tonight, that’s for sure,” he assured her with a nod.

Scott smirked at the words, moving to grab a cup from a cabinet and fill it with water. “I’m honestly surprised that you didn’t just fly straight to San Francisco to see Nat,” he drawled, his voice booming.

“Yeah, it’s been what? A month since you’ve seen her?” Lisa asked, raising a brow as she dropped her hands from Chris’ arms and headed back into the kitchen, pulling groceries from the bags resting on the island counter.

“I was with her over the fourth so almost a month,” he corrected, leaning down to pet his Ma’s dogs as they danced at his feet. But then he thought back to his visit earlier in the month, at the fleeting moments they’d had together, but otherwise… he’d been alone. Nat’s schedule was busier than ever, if it was even possible, and she spent so much time glued to her laptop that he missed her even when he was there. “I miss Nat so fuckin’ much but I’m almost thinking about staying here.”

Lisa raised a brow suspiciously as she closed the fridge, tucking the reusable grocery bags into each other. “Oh really?” She asked him while she looked at him curiously.

“I’m just so exhausted. Going from filming earlier this year to the Lightyear press and right into The Gray Man press, I’m just so tired,” he murmured with a shake of his head as he leaned his hip against the island. “And now that I’ll be going to Atlanta soon for Pain Hustlers, I feel like I just need a break away from everything.”

“Maybe Nat could come out here instead?”

“Yeah I think I might ask her if she could,” Chris nodded his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her, in fact, the opposite was true but after being dragged from one interview to another then put on a plane to make another appearance and do the whole routine again, he was craving his safe space more than ever. He just wanted to be home and sleep in his own bed, have home cooked meals, and decompress in the place he felt the most himself. Chris ran a hand through his hair while he mused, “I want to see her so bad, but when I’m there during the week, she’s at work anyway so it’s not like we get to spend much time together.”

He watched as Lisa pursed her lips while she listened to his words. “Well maybe once you rest up a little more, you could go out for a weekend,” she suggested, her eyebrows raising hopefully as she looked at her oldest son. He shrugged his shoulders at that as he heard Scott’s small noise of agreement and sighed.

“I don’t have many more weekends before I start filming again,” he began as he stared down at the marble countertop. He’d gotten the official schedules for both shoots a few weeks ago, and there was virtually no spare time once he started the first project, but what little time he had left before was quickly getting filled up in Massachusetts. He hadn’t been home for a long stretch of time since the previous year, and even then he spent most of 2021 in Los Angeles, growing his relationship with Nat. He’d missed home, missed seeing his family, the kids, getting to just live without constantly looking over his shoulder. And the growing list of responsibilities from ASP that he’d been ignoring while working were piling up, and his schedule was full of tasks between now and the middle of August. By then, he’d jump right into the shoots around Florida and Georgia with the cast of Pain Hustlers to then be in Atlanta working for months on end for Red One, having no real opportunities to visit Nat in California. “I just hate to disappoint Nattie.”

“Honey, you know Nat will understand,” Lisa placated her son, looking at him seriously as she listened to his words. “She won’t want you to kill yourself just to come see her.”

Chris shook his head, explaining, “Oh I know she’ll understand, Nat always does.”

“I know a certain dog who will be happy that you’ll be around here for a while,” she pointed out with a small chuckle, shaking her head in amusement.

“You should have seen how I woke up this morning. Dodger was laying right on top of me,” Chris laughed, thankful for the shift in conversation away from him changing his and Nat’s plans.

Scott’s dry laugh cut through the room as he told their mother, “He’s been right on Chris’ heels all day.”

Lisa smiled at the comment, before her eyes turned curious and she looked at Chris as he finally sat down in a barstool next to Chris. “What were you guys up to today?” She asked them both, looking between them.

“Well…” Chris started as Scott bit his lip, turning to look at him as well. With both his Ma’s and Scott’s eyes on him, a smile crossed his lips. “That’s actually part of the reason we came over…”

“Why’s that?”

A warm smile crossed his lips as his brain was able to switch from the exhaustion his whole body was clouded in, to instead thinking about the purchase he made hours earlier and the meaning that came with it as he told his mother, “I bought something for Nat today that I wanted to show you…”

He could feel Lisa’s eyes on him as he pulled the velvet box out of the plain white bag and handed it over to her. He watched as she flipped it open and saw the shining diamond ring inside as she gasped, “Chris, you got her a ring? You’re going to ask her to marry you?”

“Yeah Ma, I am,” a warmth spread throughout him as he said those words out loud.

Chris could see the tears glossing her eyes as she gasped, “Oh honey, I couldn’t be happier.”

“Me neither,” he shook his head almost in disbelief that this was really happening. His own tears started gathering in his blue eyes, making him blink furiously before he swallowed the emotional lump in his throat, “I think I’ve known for a while now that Nat was the one for me but when I was with her in San Francisco for our anniversary earlier this year I just… knew. I just don’t want anyone but her.”

“I knew from that first time I met her that you two would be together,” Lisa stated firmly before going over to hug her eldest son tightly.

“I think we all knew that one,” Scott chimed in with a chuckle from where he had sat down at the counter, knowing that Chris and Nat being together was something they all saw coming a mile away.

Chris had to wipe a hand along his cheeks, swiping away the tears as he admitted, “I just love her so much. I never even knew it could feel like this,”

“I’m so happy for you Chris. I can honestly say this is the best decision you’ve ever made,” his mother encouraged him with a hand rubbing up and down his back but then wanted to know, “When are you going to ask her?”

The question was one he’d been thinking about a lot but still hadn’t figured out an answer to, letting her in, “I’m not sure yet. I don’t really have a specific time so I’m just going to ask her when the moment feels right.”

Lisa couldn’t help but give him another hug, squeezing him tightly as she once again told him just how happy she was before the conversation shifted toward dinner and the brothers decided to stay and help get things ready. As Chris was pulling out the plates, his gaze drifted down to the ring box that was sitting open on the counter and felt the conversation happening around him seem to drift away. He picked up the box and looked at that sparkling ring, imagining what it would look like on Nat’s hand and almost finding it unbelievable that at the beginning of the previous year he hadn’t even met her, but now here he was ready to place this on her hand with the promise of forever.

He loved her so much it almost hurt and even as insecure and indecisive as he could be, this was one decision that didn’t leave any doubts in his mind other than the timing. With his schedule being full with two more movies and Nat being in San Francisco for her job, he didn’t know the next time that they’d get any extended amount of time together and although it left him at a loss on how to fully support her while he wasn’t there, he had come to see through their breakup that none of it mattered. Sure, it was a hurdle they’d need to figure out how to cross, but all that mattered is that he had Nat in his life and he wanted her forever. Chris knew that this was the best thing that could ever happen to him, but what he didn’t know is that while he stood here full of joy and peace, the woman he loved was across the country feeling desperately trapped in the new job and life she had chosen and felt more stuck that she ever had in her life.

Nat shut the creaking door behind her and locked the deadbolt, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the door as she felt her muscles tense. She looked around her dark apartment, feeling… indifferent to everything. Coming home had always been something sacred to her, her escape, her happy place, where she hosted friends, family, game nights, and movie nights. But here… she’d hole up for days over a weekend without having anyone here who would reach out to say, “Hey! Haven’t seen you this weekend, want to grab brunch tomorrow?”, only to hear a ping alerting her to new emails. It was no longer a place of refuge to her, instead, it felt like a place where she couldn’t take a deep breath, where she could never relax, where no one would come looking, or even stop by. She was completely alone here in this silent apartment, but the one bright spot that had gotten her through so many days was knowing that in one day, her apartment would be occupied by the heart-of-gold man that she loved so dearly. His laughter would fill the tiny space, his hands would rub her aching back, and his presence would fill the void in her heart that had been hurting so badly.

When her phone started ringing, she pulled it out and saw his name on her screen, bringing out the first genuine smile in a long time as she held it up to her ear and greeted him with a hello that sounded a lot less enthusiastic than she intended but just couldn’t seem to muster anything more.

“Hi honey, is this a good time?” He asked her, his voice filling her ear.

She nodded, suppressing the sigh that caught in her throat. “Yeah I’m just walking through my door,” she told him, hanging her bag on the hook by the door as she kicked her shoes off.

Nat heard him huff out a breath, his voice quiet as he pointed out, “Nattie, it’s almost eight there.”

She shook her head, frowning at his concern. She knew it was well placed, it always was. They cared about each other to be making those jabs at the other, but it didn’t mean her shoulders relaxed a little at every concerned comment he made. If anything, it made her feel a little worse. “I know, it just was a busy day,” she explained, her voice quiet as she turned on the lights and stepped further into the apartment.

“Will you promise me that you’ll have some dinner?”

“I promise I will,” she told him, glancing towards the shoebox of a kitchen before she headed into the living room, sitting down on the couch with a sigh. “I actually am a little surprised to hear from you. I figured you’d be asleep with you flying out here tomorrow.”

“That’s actually what I wanted to call you about,” he began, pausing as he sighed. Nat froze, listening as he finally asked, “Nattie, would it disappoint you if I didn’t come out to San Francisco?”

Her brows furrowed and her hand reached, plucking a few threads from the worn blanket on the couch as she fidgeted anxiously. “Is everything okay?” She asked worriedly, unsure if something had happened

“Yeah, yeah it’s fine, I’m just so exhausted,” he admitted and Nat could have been able to know that without his admission. The weariness in his voice was evident even if she hadn’t known how packed his schedule had been but kept listening as he sighed, “I feel like I’ve just been going non-stop for the past couple months and then with heading into doing two more movies this year, I just feel really overwhelmed. I just want some time to decompress.”

“Of course I’m sad not to see you but that’s fine Chris, I want you to take care of yourself,” Nat told him truthfully. In reality, hearing those words felt like a punch in the gut or as if all the air from her lungs had just been taken away. Having him come out to see her had been the one saving grace through all of this. She knew that if she could just make it to when she’d get to have his arms around her again, then maybe she could do this. Maybe that would help center her again, but in an instant that had been stolen away.

But she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t burden him with the knowledge of how much she was struggling while he was so burnt out and had to recharge before being thrown into filming again. Besides, he had warned her. He was the one who told her that this job wasn't for her and that it didn’t seem like the right move for her and he had been right. Nat just couldn’t let anyone, especially herself, know how much this job was taking a toll on her. It was just a job and the fact that she couldn’t seem to handle it only made her feel like even more of a failure than ever.

“I hope you know how much I want to see you and it has nothing to do with that,” Chris went on to assure her, but it brought little healing to her heart because all she could feel was that she was alone yet again. “I also figured that when I’m there during the week I don’t get to see you much anyway and thought that maybe you could come out for a weekend if you have time or I could come out there before Atlanta.”

“I’m not sure yet what my schedule is but we’ll figure something out. I want you to just decompress,” she rushed to tell him, trying hard to cover up the tears and heavy emotion in her voice.

“Are you sure, Nat?”

Nat just took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice before responding with, “I am, I want you to rest. I know how important it is to you to be able to be away from everything in Boston.”

“Thanks for understanding, baby. I love you so much and I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

Nat pushed out a quick “I love you too” before hearing the line hang up. She couldn’t even pull the phone away from her ear before silent tears started spilling out of her eyes. With a shaky finger she clicked the red button before trudging over to the couch where she laid down and grabbed a pillow, clutching it to her chest as the tears just wouldn’t stop pouring down her face.

Nat was so proud of Chris. She was so proud of all he’d done this year, pushing himself with the films he was doing and going through the press tours he hated so much while traveling the world in a whirlwind. She was so happy that he could recognize when he needed a break, and just decompress. She was so glad that he had a place to do that, where he had a home to just be himself and relax but right now she just hated it so much that the home wasn’t with her.

Using the sleeve of her sweatshirt, she furiously wiped at her eyes and sat up. Nat tried so hard to just pull it together, but the moment her eyes glanced out the window of her apartment and she saw the almost tauntingly beautiful view of San Francisco, heavy sobs started pouring out of hers as those tears that she had just wiped away were quickly replaced. Just one look at that view reminded her that she was here in the city by the bay, completely and utterly alone.

She had always loved her job, working as an animator was truly a dream come true. Nat was just a normal girl who had been given an incredible gift by having a father who believed in her, sending her to art school to follow her dreams but it felt like somehow her real dream, the real longing of her heart had slipped through her fingers. Nat had been so happy working at Disney, settling into a life in California over the past decade and having an incredible group of friends, including Mark and Jamie who had become more like family to her.

But COVID had changed everything for her. In that time frame, her engagement to Shane had ended, Nat had become so much more self assured and knew who she was, but after being able to spend months at home with her family, she had moved back to California with a loneliness in her heart and a longing for something more. For the first time in her life she had seen how much she wanted more than her job. She wanted her own family and to be able to love someone and have them love her in return.

And then Chris came into her life.

So much had changed since he’d made his unexpected entrance in her life and Nat had found out so many more things about herself and what she wanted. He helped her to rest in who she was and embrace what it was that made her… well, her. He was her best friend and gave her peace in a way that she couldn’t quite explain. But there was still a part of her that let those little voices into the back of her head, remembering the looks she’d gotten from people when she was younger and said her dream was to be an artist. She remembered the jokes so many made when they asked what she was going to do for a ‘real job’ and the sting of that in her formative years still was underneath the surface.

Nat’s fingers were clutching tight on that pillow as she thought back to her dad dropping her off at art school as he hugged her tightly and told her how proud of her he was and that he knew she’d do great things. Ever since then all she had wanted to do was prove him right, to show everyone she wasn’t just the overemotional chaotic artist little sister behind two intelligent successful older sisters who seemed to be able to do all the things she viewed herself incapable of.

So here she was. Accepting this job that she thought would somehow prove something. That somehow would be the icing on the cake of ‘See? I can be a successful artist’ but all it had done was show her just how right Chris had been about all of this. This wasn’t what she wanted. She hated every bit of this job. She wanted so much more than this now. She wanted Chris. She wanted a family. She wanted to create for herself. But there was no turning back now. There was no way that she could go to her boss only a couple months after starting and basically say she wanted to be demoted, especially when her position back in Burbank had already been filled. Not to mention that she had taken a stand with this job and Chris, resulting in them temporarily breaking up. That felt like such a huge failure in her mind and that was something Nat simply just couldn’t take at the moment.

So here she had been, putting her nose to the grindstone and putting in her hours, trying to get through the days with the light at the end of the tunnel being August. The month when she’d get her best friend back. When she’d finally get to feel his arms around her. When she’d finally not dread the weekends and spend them crying in bed but instead fill them with laughter and happiness with Chris. When she’d finally get to relax for the first time in weeks. Knowing that he was coming to her was like a lifeline, knowing that she just had to make it until then and then hopefully things would be better. But now it felt like that lifeline that was dangling just out of her reach was snatched away and she was left drowning.

But there was no way she could ask him to come. It was just too selfish. She couldn’t possibly know just how packed his schedule had been and hear his weary voice saying how much he just needed to go home and then ask him to come be with her instead. So here she was. Sitting alone on this couch, tears streaming down her face as she felt completely alone and completely stuck.

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biggerbetterbat · 8 months ago

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WITH YOU II | AN APARTMENT IN ATLANTA

Daryl Dixon x Charlie Reed

Summary: In searching for Beth, Carol and Daryl find a shelter in an empty apartment.

Warnings: none

Words: 1,108

The apartment in Atlanta stood as a souvenir of a bygone era, a testament to the opulence and extravagance that once defined someone who lived there. As Daryl and Carol stepped inside, they were met with a grand foyer adorned with marble floors, polished to a gleaming shine despite the passage of time. A chandelier, now dim and dusty, hung from the ceiling, its crystals catching the faint light filtering in through the broken windows. The walls, once painted, now bore faded remnants of their former grandeur, the paint peeling and chipped in places.

Moving further into the apartment, they entered a spacious living area, where plush sofas and armchairs sat atop snow white, fluffy rug that had seen better days. The kitchen with a marble countertop, stainless steel appliances now rusted with neglect, and cabinets adorned with intricate carvings. Daryl noticed the absence of all knives from the room, as he was looking for a possible danger.

Throughout the apartment, glimpses of the past peeked through the layers of decay—a grand piano in the corner of the living room, its keys dusty and silent; a collection of fine art lining the walls, now faded and obscured by years of neglect.

Despite its current state of disrepair, the apartment still exuded an air of faded elegance, a reminder of the lives that had once been lived within its walls. And as Daryl and Carol moved through the space, they couldn't help but wonder about the person who had called this place home. A person none of them were as they couldn't even imagine standing in a place like that now. A person whose life had been forever altered by the cruel hand of fate. A person that felt the fall more than anyone.

"Let's look around," Daryl said quietly.

Daryl cautiously stepped into the master bedroom, his boots sinking into the plush carpet beneath him. The room held a somber atmosphere, the faint light filtering through the dusty windows casting shadows over the remnants of a life once lived. His eyes scanned the room, taking in the faded grandeur of the space. As he moved closer to the dresser, his gaze fell upon a collection of photographs arranged haphazardly on its surface.

He wasn't a nosy person, and he couldn't care less about the person who lived here. However, the place was so out of place, he almost needed to see the face of its owner.

That's why he leaned in for a closer look. And there, staring back at him from the faded photographs, was Charlie - her bright smile frozen in time, her laughter echoing in his head, clenching his heart. She stood surrounded by her brothers, their faces filled with happiness. His heart broke a little at the sight. He never saw her so careless, so free, and happy. Her eyes were shining so bright, lightning her face...or maybe her face was lightning the photo. The moment was like a crash for Daryl, as he finally saw faces of her brothers, people so mystified that he wasn't sure if they were real.

But they were. Three tall, well built men that even Daryl would try to avoid. All of them handsome, all of them strong, and all of them gone. Three, because the last man was short and not so muscular; however, his eyes were the same as Charlie's.

His heart skipped a beat as he realized the truth -the apartment belonged to Charlie. The realization hit him like another a punch to the gut, filling him with a mix of emotions he struggled to comprehend. As he lingered over the photographs, his eyes caught sight of something glinting on the rug beneath his feet. Stooping down, he reached out and picked up the object—a delicate necklace, its chain tangled and tarnished with age. Turning away from the dresser, Daryl began to gather up Charlie's belongings, his movements methodical and purposeful. Each item he packed carried with it a piece of her past, a connection to the life she had left behind. And it was only fair to give it back to her.

He emerged from the master bedroom, a sense of purpose guiding his steps as he made his way to the office where he had left Carol. Pushing open the door, he found her standing before a large painting that adorned the wall, her gaze fixed on its intricate details. A thought flashed in his head: how Charlie would like something like that and why she would want to hang it in her living room. "It's horrible."

His mumble was well heard. Carol turned as she heard Daryl's approach, a faint smile playing at the corners of her lips. "I like it. I would like to have something like that," she said softly. "I think Charlie would've liked it."

"Yeah," Daryl murmured, his voice tinged with emotion. "She would've."

Carol turned to him, her expression curious. "What's wrong, Daryl? You found something in there?"

Daryl hesitated for a moment, the weight of his discovery pressing heavily upon him. "This... this is Charlie's apartment," he confessed, his words hanging in the air between them.

Carol's eyes widened in surprise, her hand instinctively reaching out to grasp his arm in support. "Are you sure?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Daryl nodded, his jaw set with determination. He took out and thew on the desk one of the photos he had found. For a moment, there was silence as Carol absorbed the weight of his revelation. She started looking around the apartment in shock.

Then she looked at the man, who became even more troubled and insecure. "Have you already told her?"

"Told her what?"

"That you're in love with her." Carol studied him intently, her expression softening with understanding. "You should, Daryl. She needs to know how you feel."

Daryl's chest tightened at her words, a surge of conflicting emotions swirling within him. "It ain't that simple, Carol," he said, his voice rough with uncertainty. "There's...I could be her father. I'm an old man."

Carol's brow furrowed in concern, her gaze steady as she met his eyes. "That doesn't matter, Daryl. What matters is how you feel. Age is just a number...And your last concern in those times."

Daryl sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping with the weight of his insecurities. "I ain't exactly the type of guy she'd go for, ya know? She's... she's smart, and kind, and... and I'm just..."

"You're Daryl," Carol interrupted gently, her voice firm with conviction. "And that's all she needs. Someone who cares about her, who'll protect her no matter what."

"Mmm."

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masterhomeremodelers · 10 days ago

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