#ate peanuts in a Cohort Admiralty meeting

[abigailspinach]

“Mercymorn took her fat-tipped marker and Mercymorn took her fat-tipped marker and scribbled on the plex, placing her new object squarely in the epirhoic layer. “This is the Beast,” she said.

Augustine said, “That’s a muffin.”

“I see a cloud, but with a face,” said Ianthe. “If you take that main squiggle for an eye.”

You said, “I thought it was a flower,” and God said, “No, yes, I agree, there’s something–florescent about it.”

And Ortus said, “Thought it was a snake in a bush.”

“I hate you all,” said Mercymorn passionately. “I have hated you for millennia… except you, my lord.”

“Thanks,” said God.

“I merely want to put you in a jail,” said his Lyctor, now meditative, “and fill up the jail with acid once for every time you made a frivolous remark, or ate peanuts in a Cohort Admiralty meeting, or said, ‘What would I know, I’m only God.’ Then at the end of a thousand years, you would say, ‘Mercy, I have learned not to do any of these things, because I hated the acid you put on me.’ And I would say, ‘That is why I did it, Lord. I did it for you, and for your empire.’ I often think about this,” she finished.”

― Tamsyn Muir, Harrow the Ninth

[howverychaotic]

L + Ratio + I hate you all ✨ I have hated you for millennia…except you, my lord 🥺 I merely want to put you in a jail 🪨 and fill up the jail with acid once for every time you made a frivolous remark 😠 or ate peanuts in a Cohort Admiralty meeting 🥜 or said, ‘What would I know, I’m only God 🤡’ Then, at the end of a thousand years, you would say, ‘♥Mercy, I have learned not to do any of these things, because I hated the acid you put on me 🫠’ And I would say, ‘That is why I did it, Lord 🙏 I did it for you 😍 and for your empire 👑’ I often think about this 💀

[prowl-autism-extraordinaire]

nobody told me harrow the ninth was a comedy 😭😭😭

“I hate you all,” said Mercymorn passionately. “I have hated you for millennia … except you, my lord.”

“Thanks,” said God.

“I merely want to put you in a jail,” said his Lyctor, now meditative, “and fill up the jail with acid once for every time you made a frivolous remark, or ate peanuts in a Cohort Admiralty meeting, or said, ‘What would I know, I’m only God.’ Then at the end of a thousand years, you would say, ‘Mercy, I have learned not to do any of these things, because I hated the acid you put on me.’ And I would say, ‘That is why I did it, Lord. I did it for you, and for your empire.’ I often think about this,” she finished.

The Emperor of the Nine Houses said, “I ate peanuts, discreetly, the once.”

[aita-blorbos]

WIBTA for punishing my friend, who is god?

I wish to put my friend (10,000+ M) in a jail for one thousand years. I would fill this jail up with acid for every time he made a frivolous remark, or ate peanuts in a cohort admiralty meeting, or said "What would I know? I'm only god." And at the end of that thousand years, he would tell me that he had learned not to do any of those things because he hated the acid i put on him, And I would say, "That is why I did it, Lord. I did it for you, and for your empire."

I often consider this. Would I be the asshole?

[asthedeathoflight]

I hate you all. I have hated you for millennia. Except you, my lord. I merely want to put you in a jail, and fill up the jail with acid for every time you made an inane remark or ate peanuts in a cohort admiralty meeting or said "what would I know, I'm only God." And then, at the end of a thousand years you would say "Mercy, I have learned not to do these things because I hated the acid you put on me." And i would say "thats why I did it, Lord. I did it for you, and for your empire." I often think about this. Btw. If you even care.

[wakeofvultures]

(Quote Under the Cut)

“I hate you all,” said Mercymorn passionately. “I have hated you for millennia ... except you, my lord.”

“Thanks,” said God.

“I merely want to put you in a jail,” said his Lyctor, now meditative, “and fill up the jail with acid once for every time you made a frivolous remark, or ate peanuts in a Cohort Admiralty meeting, or said, ‘What would I know, I’m only God.’ Then at the end of a thousand years, you would say, ‘Mercy, I have learned not to do any of these things, because I hated the acid you put on me.’ And I would say, ‘That is why I did it, Lord. I did it for you, and for your empire.’ I often think about this,” she finished

(Harrow the Ninth, Chapter 36)

[reflection-s-of-stars]

I hate you all, I have hated you all for millennia, except you, my lord. I merely want to put you in a jail, and fill up the jail with acid once for every time you made a frivolous remark, or ate peanuts in a cohort admiralty meeting, or said “what would I know, I'm only god.” And then, at the end of a thousand years, you would say “Mercy, I have learned not to do any of those things, because I hated the acid you put on me,” and I would say “that is why I did it, Lord, I did it for you, and for your empire.” I often think about this

[iviarellereads]

Harrow the Ninth, Chapter 36

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Herald icon) In which we all snicker with Ianthe.

Harrow begins to pray again, for comfort's sake more than real hope. She prays for clarity, that the Body might point to the apostate among the Lyctors remaining. She prays that everything in the last ten months has been illusion, especially the visit on the jungle planet. She could almost believe that it's all been a dream, except that the letter to Corona is still gone, and two other letters opened. When she thinks about all this, blood drips from her ears again, and her ear canals are now stained dead brown.(1)

One day, about a month after the jungle planet, some alarms go off and a shutter closes over Harrow's window.

The voice of the Emperor of the Nine Houses rasped over the comm speaker beside your door, and you rushed to stand before it as he said: "J. G. calling in. All clear. Lyctors, do you copy?"

"A. A. calling in. All clear."

"G. P. calling in. All clear."(2)

A pause. Then you heard Ianthe's cool, detached tones, as if she hadn't even been asleep: "No one has yet seen fit to grace me with a callsign, but nonetheless, all clear."

Augustine: "You're I. N., of course. Harrow's H ... Yes, Harrow's H."

"H. O. calling in,"(3) you said instantly, and you ignored Ianthe's audible sniggers. "All clear. What's going on?"

It doesn't escape Jod's notice that Mercy fails to copy on the all clear immediately, but when she does check in, she says the RB is here. Welp, that's that, back to bed everyone, no really.

Harrow sees the Body in her bed, her eyes "death-mask gold", and the Body says it's coming, with anticipation and astonishment. Harrow senses that the Body is troubled, so kisses her, or at least the space where she is. The Body looks at Harrow, almost pityingly, and says she has to go away for a while. Harrow thinks she's done something wrong, but the Body suggests otherwise. She reaches out as if to touch Harrow's eyes, and Harrow falls asleep.

There's some tactical discussion as to the best way to take on RB 7. We get a lot more of the physics of the River, including the different "layers".(4) The Saint of Duty wants to drive the RB down to the bathyrhoic immediately but Mercy, who is doing the explaining for the children, disagrees.

"Our swiftest fight against a Beast took place in the bathyrhoic layer."

"Yes, and Number Eight wasn't tired by the time we got to the barathron, and Ulysses the First had to wrestle it through the stoma, and he is as we speak languishing in Hell! It's a Resurrection Beast, honey! Thank you! Next!!"(5)

While staring at her in the meeting, Harrow hopes that Ianthe isn't the traitor Judith mentioned. With a sister in the BOE, Ianthe has every reason to flip sides to them, but Harrow prays for Ianthe's innocence.(6)

The meeting continues, but they start making fun of Mercy's drawing. Even John gets in on it. Mercy says she hates them all, except God.

"I merely want to put you in a jail," said his Lyctor, now meditative, "and fill up the jail with acid once for every time you made a frivolous remark, or ate peanuts in a Cohort Admiralty meeting, or said, 'What would I know, I'm only God.' Then at the end of a thousand years, you would say, 'Mercy, I have learned not to do any of these things, because I hated the acid you put on me.' And I would say, 'That is why I did it, Lord. I did it for you, and for your empire.' I often think about this," she finished.

The Emperor of the Nine Houses said, "I ate peanuts, discreetly, the once."(7)

The elder Lyctors spend some time describing the other Beasts, and how different they were, to reinforce the point that each is different and uses different tactics. Mercy assigns the elders and Ianthe cardinal directions to attack from, and Harrow asks, what's she to do? Mercy says not to get in the way. Augustine smoothes this out, suggesting that Harrow find the place she's most useful, even if that's outside the River. Harrow understands that they just don't want to be burdened with her inevitable death.(8)

God agrees that Harrow can remain flexible and be very useful, and calls for an awkward tea break. Everyone else stands but Ianthe, who asks what the stoma is, they never really said. The elders, particularly August and Mercy, start arguing over neither telling their students about the stoma. August accuses Mercy of not taking it seriously in her life, "which is why your whole damend House sucks at it like a grotesque teat".(9)

John interrupts, and reveals that the stoma is the gate to Hell.(10) when they defeat the RBs as much as they ever do, they let them get sucked up by the "stoma" of the river, the portal to hell, a bridge to a place where his powers cannot touch and have no meaning.(11) It's where they put the RBs. Like a rubbish bin. (12)

=====

(1) She can't stop thinking about her friends, and about why she keeps reacting to them the way she does. (2) Did you catch those initials? There's nobody with a G name on board, is there? (Then again, God's self-and-cav initials given are for John and Gaius, since his cavalier held the initials A. L. So he should've been J. A. by this format, unless it's for John, God to make sure nobody forgets his position. (3) If you didn't at least smirk a little at this one, are you sure you're reading the right series for you? But, it's so cute that she still fully believes Ortus was her cavalier when she obviously planned the whole time to bring Gideon. But in this version of events that's been constructed for her perceptions, Gideon never existed. Remember, "There had been another girl who grew up alongside Harrow - but she had died before Harrow was born." Even more heartbreaking to remember all this in the chapters immediately after we figure out who the narrator has been all this time. (4) The layers of the River nearly all correlate to the layers of our-world oceans. Epirhoic, epipelagic, the surface zone. Mesorhoic, mesopelagic, the twilight zone. Bathyrhoic, bathypelagic, the midnight zone. The roots are all Greek, with "rhoic" related to "rhoe" a seemingly uncommon synonym for "river" or "flow" given how long it took me to track it down to its roots in a dictionary. Muir replaces the abyssopelagic (abyssal zone, near-freezing, almost uninhabited) and hadalpelagic (Mariana Trench only) zones with the barathron, which seems to derive from "baras" (heavy) and "thronos" (throne, seat of power). (5) Pretty sure this is Thank U, Next, by Ariana Grande. I'm not clear on the bit of line before that but it also feels like a reference, just can't be to the same song. Maybe to one of the reality show/influencer types whose memes I don't follow as closely. (6) I think that ship's sailed whether or not she's the traitor Judith meant, Harrow. Sorry. (7) But no protest on the other counts, hmm? (8) I don't know that any of them would put it QUITE that way, Harrow, dear. But yeah pretty much. (9) Mercy's house siphon souls, though. What's this about sucking at the stoma? (10) In our-world terms, a stoma is an opening in the body. Your mouth and your butt are both natural stomata. Sometimes a doctor will create a stoma, such as to set up a colostomy to get poop out without it going through the colon. These may be permanent or temporary. Just food for thought since this stoma in the River seems like it could be important later. (11) But that's not necessarily really Hell as such, though. Just, y'know, saying. It might be Hell for you, John, but your opinions aren't fact just because you've been endowed with God-like power. (I love the character, I don't always approve of his framing or his stances.) (12) Note how often abbreviations are reused. Alright, letterisms, if you wanna get pedantic on me. Still. The same few letters being used for different things. Like AL and Anabelle Lee. I just think it's neat. Deliberate obfuscation.

[volturialice]

Since you post about The Locked Tomb too...You know the rant Mercymorn goes on about how much she wants to put John in acid? Which Volturi guard member would do that about Aro?

oh definitely, DEFINITELY renata!! good one anon

for anyone wondering, the rant anon is talking about goes:

“I hate you all,” said Mercymorn passionately. “I have hated you for millennia … except you, my lord.” “Thanks,” said God. “I merely want to put you in a jail,” said his Lyctor, now meditative, “and fill up the jail with acid once for every time you made a frivolous remark, or ate peanuts in a Cohort Admiralty meeting, or said, ‘What would I know, I’m only God.’ Then at the end of a thousand years, you would say, ‘Mercy, I have learned not to do any of these things, because I hated the acid you put on me.’ And I would say, ‘That is why I did it, Lord. I did it for you, and for your empire.’ I often think about this,” she finished.”

(and if you were looking for a sign to read the locked tomb books here it is)

[beedreamscape]

THANKSSS 🖤💕

Favorite house(s): 5th and 8th, initially because of Mercy and Augustine, they astound me in different ways...

Favorite book: Harrow the Ninth, though the book could've been a lil shorter...

Four favorite characters: John Gaius, Mercymorn, Palamades, Harrowhark (I like characters with things I don't possess e.g. a working brain and intelligence).

Favorite ship: Mercistine. It was a Mercy/Augustine smut from an author I admired that actually convinced me to jump the boat and read the books 🙈. (And Jodybeth and Campal [yes, i know, no, i don't care]).

A favorite scene: Laboratory 8 scene with the siphoning trial. Gideon's readiness to agree to participate, Harrow's confidence in her abilities, descriptions of pain, how humorously the scene ends *chef's kiss*.

Another favorite scene: I'll have to agree with you and mention the kneeling on glass scene. The feelings I felt when Harrow broke that glass, when she confessed, how he could tell from one touch her brain had been messed with. It almost makes me blush.

A favorite quote: I'll cheat here: one for being beautiful, one for living in my brain like a bug.

“I have tried to dismantle you, Gideon Nav! The Ninth House poisoned you, we trod you underfoot—I took you to this killing field as my slave—you refuse to die, and you pity me! Strike me down. You’ve won. I’ve lived my whole wretched life at your mercy, yours alone, and God knows I deserve to die at your hand. You are my only friend. I am undone without you.”

And

“I merely want to put you in a jail,” said his Lyctor, now meditative, “and fill up the jail with acid once for every time you made a frivolous remark, or ate peanuts in a Cohort Admiralty meeting, or said, ‘What would I know, I’m only God.’ Then at the end of a thousand years, you would say, ‘Mercy, I have learned not to do any of these things, because I hated the acid you put on me.’ And I would say, ‘That is why I did it, Lord. I did it for you, and for your empire.’ I often think about this,” she finished. The Emperor of the Nine Houses said, “I ate peanuts, discreetly, the once.”

Favorite ATN theory: I wouldn't call it a theory as much as I think to actually kill John, Alecto will have to merge them into one person which will smother his soul and bury herself/themself into the earth to try and restore its soul. I got this idea from what John says in NtN about not being able to take Alecto's soul without burning then creating her vessel, also because it's a lot more poetic and tragic than just stabbing his heart.

And while that happens, the necros will have to work out a way to keep the sun from exploding through some sort of life magic. And that after John's death, necromancy dies with him.

Whoever sees this and wants to play, feel free!

While we're waiting for Alecto to come out, I thought we could have some fun in the tlt fandom :)

I'm not sure if anyone's done this before, but I haven't seen any so I thought I'd make a tag game. just for funsies.

there's absolutely no pressure to tag or to even play, I just wanted to compile all my favorite parts of the series and I thought it'd be fun to share! so without further ado...

_____________________________

My TLT Favorites

Favorite house(s): 4th and 2nd

Favorite book: Gideon the Ninth

Four favorite characters: Gideon Nav, Teacher (Canaan house), Jeannemary Chatur, John Gaius

Favorite ship: Jodybeth

A favorite scene: Nonius vs Wake fight

Another favorite scene: Nona's 3rd tantrum

A favorite quote: "Won't you say one real thing to me? Won't you show me one single solitary human thing? Or are you going to die talking to me like it's just another party you wish was over already?" (HTN pg. 546)

Favorite ATN theory: Alecto is a hideous corpse. (not sure what this entails yet, but I love Teacher so much, and I don't think we spent that much time on him for nothing)

_____________________________

Thought I'd keep it short and sweet, but please, please, feel free to make it your own :)

I was intending for this to be a tag game, so I nominate:

@onefleshoneend0 @transbutchbluess @orionsystem6 @koshertaako @susurra-el-arroyo-manso

but like I said, no pressure! just for funsies!