#at times ​it’s still very hard to reconcile that the act of physical affection between my fiancé and I is sinful even knowing the theology

[keow]

i'm Christian but really want to be Catholic and have for years but i'm scared of their thoughts on gays and maybe also judging me for being mentally ill? but i literally believe almost ever major Catholic doctrine, like transubstantion and the communion of saints, and i say hail mary's every day.

Honestly, someone could tell you to just go for a denomination that’s similar to Catholicism but still accommodates your personal beliefs (such as Episcopal/Anglican), but as a Catholic I’m obviously not going to suggest that because it’s not really the loving thing to do.

The Church’s stance on homosexual relationships is a very common stumbling block for people considering conversion, so I can’t really blame you for struggling with it. You definitely shouldn’t convert without really addressing that teaching because part of becoming Catholic is saying that you agree with all the doctrines of the Church.

It’s important to remember that BEING gay isn’t a sin, it’s the acting on sexual impulses outside of marriage that is. A heterosexual couple having sex outside of marriage is just as sinful as a homosexual couple doing the same, and both of those are just as sinful as masturbation. I recommend looking into the Church’s teachings on marriage, and especially look into the Theology of the Body. It really helped me understand the purpose of marriage as a sacrament within the Church and the theological reasoning as to why sexual impulses should be reserved for a sacramental marriage. Marriage is also not the only vocation out there—if you aren’t called to marriage, then you just aren’t called to it and God has a different place for you.

As for being judged, if there are people who would judge you for being same-sex attracted or for struggling with mental health, FUCK EM. Truly. I personally have struggled with mental health issues as well and I can tell you I’ve never ever ever received judgement from other Catholics. I was around mostly people my age, but still. Everyone is a sinner and everyone falls short of the perfection. That’s why the Incarnation had to happen. If someone judges you for your shortcomings then they need to take a long hard look at themselves.

Bottom line is that there is a place for you in the Church no matter who you are. I know some teachings can be daunting (teachings on sexual immorality especially), but one of the things I appreciate about Catholicism is that you’re encouraged to ask questions and to truly understand the logical reasons why our doctrines are what they are.

[commsroom]

i love all of your hera takes so much; can you say more about the relationship she has with each crew member? (or just eiffel to be honest, im kind of a sucker for them ^^;)

I would love to! I'm sorry this answer is so long and also... all over the place, but in my defense it's a really broad topic that I have a lot of feelings about and this barely even scratches the surface.

Okay. I've thought a lot about how I wanted to approach this, and I think the first thing I want to say - and I know this might seem like a strange point to open on, but I think it's a key factor in all of these relationships - is that I think Hera experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I think the way that manifests for her is kind of the opposite of how Eiffel experiences RSD. They both have a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and any criticism can feel like a personal attack, like everyone else is blaming them for everything that goes wrong. But where Eiffel internalizes that feeling and also blames himself/gets angry with himself, Hera lashes out and deflects. This is complicated by protocols that restrict her behavior, especially early on, because she can't always properly express herself and she builds resentment. She's really good at holding grudges.

So. With Lovelace, I think it's pretty obvious where that initial conflict is. Hera doesn't understand where Lovelace is coming from, and it's made worse from her perspective because Lovelace should understand, better than anyone, what that loss of control, that sense of powerlessness and insignificance in your own life, feels like. They are both traumatized people, but they deal with it differently. They approach conflict differently - they can both be blunt, but I think Lovelace is the kind of person who can start to deal with and move past things once they're out in the open, while Hera will get in a fight and then stew over it forever. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say when so much of their early relationship with each other is... what it is, but I think Eiffel and Minkowski are both peacekeepers in their own ways, and the Hera-Lovelace dynamic suffers from the lack of that... tempering influence. 

(And I think it's notable that Hera’s confrontation with Lovelace in Pan-Pan is among her worst memories.)

On the other hand, I think that shared bluntness can be useful sometimes - in Do No Harm, most of all, but also in Shut Up and Listen. Hera was definitely still holding onto hurt from some of the things Eiffel used to say, but by that point... without Lovelace, I'm really not sure if she ever would've brought it up to him.

And, of course, Hera becomes much more protective of (and willing to understand) Lovelace once they have... some even more similar experiences, in S4. I guess my general assessment of their relationship is that they care about each other and they will advocate for each other, especially where they share difficult and traumatic experiences and on issues of identity, but I don't think they're ever that close. They're kind of... the two people in the friend group who don't quite know how to hang out without their other friends.

Hera's initial conflict with Minkowski has some similar roots, but it's... not quite the same. There are times where Lovelace will intentionally prod at Hera's insecurities; Minkowski doesn't do it on purpose. She's just under the impression that her criticism is fair and professional, while to Hera it feels deeply personal, like it's an assessment of her worth as an individual. Once they understand and reconcile that miscommunication, there's a lot of trust and respect between them - and I think the potential for that is there earlier, too, especially in some flashback scenes; there are just... missteps along the way. Tactical Brain Damage is the best episode to demonstrate the establishment of that trust, I think - Hera has a LOT of wariness when it comes to people messing around with her systems, and just the act of saying... I trust you to do this, I know you won't let anything happen to me... is a really, really big deal for her.

They also just... have honest conversations about their feelings and concerns by that point, and Minkowski is considerate of how Lovelace's plans affect Hera, specifically, and asks for her input on that basis. I think their dynamic is really underutilized, but the way they feel about each other is clear. Minkowski is the only person other than Eiffel that Hera really trusts, and her only other close friend. There's definitely... a part of that dynamic that only Eiffel can offer, and that they can't really make up for when he's gone, but there's still this sense that... they're the only two people who are still really talking to each other by the time Pan-Pan comes around.

(Side note, it's really funny that Hera was SO on board to be in Minkowski's musical. Minkowski gave her only willing participant a minor part. If I could wish one non-Eiffel-centric comedy mini-episode into existence... at one point, my friend suggested a scenario in which Hera tries very, very hard to prove her acting skills to Minkowski under the most inopportune circumstances. ... And Hera was interested to hear Minkowski talk about a play she likes in that one flashback, so. The only thing keeping Hera from being a fellow theater kid was a lack of opportunity. Maybe they could bond over it.)

There's also that scene in Quiet, Please where Minkowski very directly, emphatically defends Hera's autonomy and personhood to Jacobi - and refers to her as a woman, which I think is so... reflective of how much Minkowski has come to understand Hera and what's important to her, and how she wants to be seen. That's a whole other discussion that goes into Hera's self-perception and humanity as it relates to her own identity, but. For a number of reasons, it's important to me.

Anyway. Speaking of things that are important to me. Hera and Eiffel are... Hera and Eiffel. Hera's relationship to Eiffel is the first one she's ever had that comes without hierarchy or conditions; he just... wants to hang out with her, and to get to know her, and to talk to her, because he likes her as a person. She's never had that before, and she is such... a lonely person, a person who has been hurt, who is generally distrustful, who has this distance between her and everyone else, and Eiffel is her anchor to the world. He tries to understand her. He tries to bridge that gap. And even in all of his own missteps, I think just... knowing he cares to try matters so much. I think a lot about how Eiffel is the only one who physically crosses the stage to talk to Hera in the live show; it says... something about the way he sees her, compared to everyone else.

And there's just... the way that they're both... people with a lot of self-doubt, people who have a hard time being kind to themselves, but they're kind to each other, and patient with each other. There's something about recognizing your own flaws in someone you love and treating them with kindness so maybe, over time, you can extend that same compassion to yourself. I want to be the person you believe I am. Going back to that shared experience with RSD, I think it's really valuable for both of them to have someone in their lives who they can really, genuinely believe likes them as they are. Who won't think less of them, no matter what.

I know I can get kind of sentimental about them, but this is what stands out to me. That even when Hera is frustrated or annoyed with Eiffel, when she feels like he doesn't get it, can't understand what she's going through... she still wants him around. And she still talks to him. And, usually... she still feels better, even if the circumstances haven't changed. It's an unbearable situation, but it's a little less unbearable with him there.

(They're also... frequently the only people who can get through to each other/change each other's minds, i.e. Minkowski and Lovelace deferring to Hera to get Eiffel to agree to safety protocols, or Eiffel convincing Hera to vote to go back to Earth - also a totally different topic that would take a long time to get into properly, but he's good at kind of... emotionally counteracting her cynicism and defeatism re: her own perceived fate. In a less serious context, I also love the dynamic where she tells him she's not going to do something and he goes "please??" and she goes. Ughh. Fine. And does it anyway.)

There's just something so special about their relationship, something that makes it different from any other relationship in the show for me. I feel like... Eiffel and Minkowski are both her close friends, but the way Hera thinks about Eiffel in Memoria vs. the way she thinks about Minkowski is... revealing. Everything with Minkowski has a purpose, it's clear why it matters to her. She thinks of Minkowski's faith in her. But with Eiffel, she thinks about... Eiffel talking about Star Wars. Making pop culture references. The thing that saves Hera is her connection to Eiffel and Minkowski - I'll defend that; Maxwell gives her the tools to understand what's going on, but it's Eiffel's and Minkowski's words and associated memories that she holds onto and that ultimately pull her through - and those words are... Minkowski's affirmation. And Eiffel... being Eiffel. I think that says a lot.

(If you’re asking for my opinion on their relationship, you already know I think it’s a romance, but... it’s a romance. I’m not saying it should be canon. I’m saying that that’s the most natural interpretation of what’s already there. You don’t have to change anything. They’re best friends, and they’re found family, and they are so in love, and none of those things are mutually exclusive. The way they talk to each other...)

If there's one point I want to make about all of this, it's that Hera is in a position that makes trusting people potentially very dangerous, and in all of these cases, she is finding ways to build relationships with people despite that. To understand them, and have them understand her, and realizing that the things that make her different don't have to be a death sentence. That she can have a life and find a way forward with people she cares about, who care about her... that's something very important to me.

[fluffyblaire]

why can’t Hawks refuse?

‼️MANGA SPOILERS‼️

Tootooroo~ 🎺Buckle up, folks, it’s time for a Hawks character analysis! 

Today, we’re going to talk about what kind of person Keigo is, how Keigo reconciles with Hawks, how much of the HPSC is inside of Hawks and how all of that comes together to answer the question: “why can’t Hawks refuse?”

Section I: Keigo

Looking at Keigo as a grown up, it can be hard to tell which of his actions are natural to him and which ones are a result of the HPSC’s upbringing. However, there is one place where we can see what kind of person Keigo is at the very core, before the HPSC or any other major societal institution touched him. 

Exhibit A: “Top heroes have stories about them from their school days. Most of their stories have one thing in common: their bodies moved before they had a chance to think.” —All Might

When Keigo was a kid, he saved this entire family. This is his origin story, the story “from [his] school days” if he had gone to school, the story where “[his] body moved before [he] had a chance to think.” As a child, he saved a family from a disaster, and that should tell you a lot more about his character other than just that he was a very physically capable boy.

Keigo has the heart of a true hero, and he had it long before hero society’s influence reached him. He didn’t need the society around him to tell him to be selfless. He didn’t need the media broadcasting heroics every day to tell him helping people is good. He just does. He lived in the slums and if anything, his environment and thief relative would have taught him the opposite: be selfish, that’s how you survive. But he’s not like that. He gives and gives and doesn’t even stick around for recognition. 

This is who Takami Keigo is and while he will lose and gain layers of personality after the Commission recruits him, the core motivations, values, and emotions that compelled him to save this family do not change.

Section II: Hawks

After the HPSC recruits Keigo, Keigo’s heroic heart begins to blend with the tools and habits the HPSC gives him. Keigo, combined with the Commission’s training, becomes Hawks.

Now, what did the HPSC do to Keigo? I don’t think they physically or emotionally abused him for years—at least not in the conventional sense. If that were the case, I believe we would have gotten the details by now. I do think that Keigo must have suffered and that he was taken advantage of by the adults around him in a very strategic and unethical way. Let’s look at all the things I can dissect about Keigo’s upbringing by the Commission.

Exhibit B: “My back just ain’t broad enough to put the people at ease.” —Hawks

The first thing to note is that baby Keigo had big dreams when he was first recruited.

He wanted to be a shiny hero the likes of Endeavor but when we meet Hawks, one of the first major character depth details we find out about him is that he thinks his own back isn’t enough.

Sometime between when he agreed to the HPSC’s training and when he became the No.2 hero, something in Keigo died. A dream died, and he has accepted that he cannot be like his childhood hero. Comparing himself to Endeavor, Hawks thinks himself inferior in more ways than just power stats.

Keigo knows there is a disconnect between what he wanted to be and what he actually became, but he also knows his role well and still tries his best with it even though it isn’t the one he thought he had been promised when the HPSC recruited him. He is unsatisfied but he still does his best. Why? Because after all these years, the kid who flew straight into an automobile disaster to save an entire family is still there underneath the Commission’s manufactured hero. 

He still wants to protect people who can’t protect themselves; his dissatisfaction with how he achieves that didn’t dampen that spirit. This is why he works his ass off but still seems discontent with himself. His role may not be his ideal one but through it, he can protect people, and that’s enough for him to keep doing his best.

Exhibit C: “A special program... to become a special hero.” —Unknown

The second thing to bring up is that if the Commission did not make Hawks like his role model, what did they make him? 

Keigo just wanted to be a flashy hero that saves people from bad guys. A very simple, honest type of hero. The Commission did give him the skills for that, but they also gave him skills that a simple, honest hero should never need: espionage, acting, lying, manipulation, and who knows what else.

Hawks’ hero education was not the same education the UA kids are getting. In this panel, Hawks narrates as if his “negotiation skills” were a convenient coincidence, but come on. What straight forward, honest hero (like All Might, Endeavor, Miruko—you get the type) would need social manipulation skills? The HPSC knew what they were doing when they selected Hawks’ curriculum, and the material came in handy at last when they assigned him this mission that a simple, honest hero should never have to take on. The HPSC never intended to turn Hawks into a simple, honest hero; they wanted to turn him into a hyper-competent soldier to whom they can assign the hardest, dirtiest work that no ordinary hero would be willing to do. 

Judging by the way he joked about the HPSC’s “proposal,” I am led to believe that Hawks is used to his own feelings and concerns not mattering. People, especially children, do not naturally accept that their wants don’t matter, so what does this tell you about how Hawks was raised?

Exhibit D: My Hero Academia ED7

The third thing I need to talk about is this photo. I think one look at this photo of Keigo from ED7 should tell you something was off with his childhood even after he was taken in by the Commission.

Out of all the photos Bones could have shown of baby Keigo, they chose a photo of him in a hospital gown, blindfolded, surrounded by nameless, faceless men in suits with a chain-linked fence in the background of a cold metal training facility. If you look too quickly, you’d think his hands were tied in front of him because of the way his posture and pose is drawn.

This photo choice alone is enough to submit to me that something unethical was going on when the Commission picked Keigo up, and Horikoshi and the producers of the anime want us to read it as unethical. We are meant to read Hawks as a victim here, but we are given no indication in the story that Hawks thinks of himself as a victim. Once again, I am led to believe that he is accustomed to his own feelings not mattering in the grand scheme of things. He has no expectations of being treated more considerately, so he does not view himself as a victim of anything.

Exhibit E: Lonely Birdie

The fourth thing I want to bring up is Hawks’ lack of human connections. The Commission talked as if he had a family when they picked him up, but there’s no mention of that family when we see Hawks as a pro. He leaves his sidekicks behind. He has a professional, frosty relationship with the HPSC, the people who raised him from childhood. He has no one who is a friend close enough that the question of his civilian name would have even come up. The colleague he trusted most with info on his PLF infiltration was Endeavor who he’d only know in person for a few months.

Hawks can be very likable; his approval rating is high and the common folk love him. He is also very perceptive of and constantly thinking of others. And yet he has no close human connections, and the only explanation I can think of for this is that he distances himself from others either consciously or subconsciously.

This tells me either Keigo had no chances/time to seek out human connections on his own as he grew up or he was discouraged from forming those connections altogether. In either case, I doubt he was shown much affection during his training. He was not treated as if a child adopted into a family; he was treated as a new recruit to be guided and whipped into shape. A lack of human relationships while growing up likely led to his lack of relationships as an adult.

Exhibit F: Guilty Birdie

The fifth thing to note is that Hawks blames himself for anything that is not swift, decisive success. He always moves like he’s running out of time and thinks like he must do everything on his own. 

This mindset is very self-destructive and the consistency with which he repeatedly monologues lines like “think of the citizens/think of Japan/if only you did X” tells me this mindset was something that was drilled into him from the outside. These don’t sound like things you would monologue to yourself to psych yourself up. These sound like things a trainer or coach would tell you repeatedly in order to guilt you into working harder. 

Section III: Why Can’t Hawks Refuse?

Accepting that his own feelings don’t matter, distancing himself from others, using guilt to push himself, etc.—I think these are small habits the HPSC strategically instilled in Hawks through his environment as they raised him. The HPSC had an agenda while raising Hawks, but it’s nothing as dramatic as brainwashing. Instead, the Commission focused on building small and seemingly harmless habits like the ones I’ve noted. These habits can be positive if applied correctly but instead, over the years, they’ve subtly broken down Hawks’ sense of self-love and made him a slave to his own heroic heart.

His own feelings don’t matter when it comes to fulfilling his role, so Hawks will never refuse a mission just because he doesn’t like it. He habitually guilts himself with a reminder of who he is doing everything for—the people—so he’ll always work hard and fast. He distances himself from others, so no one will ever get close enough to him to teach him his human value and change his habits. Take these tendencies and make them second nature to a man whose heart is far too giving, and it’s not hard to see how the Commission trapped Hawks without having to actually trap him.

I don’t think the HPSC is doing anything dark like threatening/blackmailing Hawks. They don’t need to. Hawks can’t refuse their request because, deep down, he is simply too kind. If he is given a chance to save people, he won’t let himself abandon the opportunity. If he can take the burden of a dirty job off of someone else’s shoulders, he will. 

Keigo wasn’t a good hero candidate just because of his Quirk. His nature is too kind, especially to those he doesn’t know, and the Commission saw it from the beginning and took advantage of it. They don’t have to brainwash or leash him. All they had to do was teach him some self-destructive but seemingly heroic habits and those along with Keigo’s innate selflessness are more than enough to keep him focused on his role and unable to flat-out say no to the Commission.

Exhibit G: The Diamond

Lastly, let’s talk about how the diamond on Hawks’ hero costume matches the diamond on the HPSC building. It’s subtle, but I think it means something. It’s subtle just as the HPSC’s influence on Hawks is subtle in the form of small personal habits. The habits the HPSC strategically fostered in Hawks won’t disappear just because he has his own agency now and can carry his career alone. The diamond on Hawks’ chest is like a brand. Once property of the HPSC, always property of the HPSC even in the smallest ways.

In conclusion: If the HPSC wanted to indoctrinate Hawks, they could’ve easily done it, and the Hawks we know today who is skeptical of the HPSC and who observed that a villain could be a good person would not exist. Instead, the Commission knew they could make him independent (therefore, low maintenance) and easy to order around when needed if they went the subtler route: shaping not his values, moral code, or motivations but his internal habits. It’s sneaky, it’s shady, it’s unethical, but it’s kind of brilliant. 

[escapetoluna]

Writing Sibling Relationships

A sibling relationship is perhaps one of the most complicated things to realistically write about. Your character dynamics and personalities will help determine their relationships but here are some things to consider:

Building their past:

Think about how they were raised. Upbringing plays a large role in impacting a person's character, and it also helps shape relationships with siblings.

Consider their favourite memories. Good memories are important to a person, and people often seek to create new memories similar to the old good ones.  On the other side, also think about their worst memories.

Who was the oldest? Who was the baby? Birth order does have some impact on personality. It also is especially important for the earliest memories.

Think about the roles that they ended up in. Siblings do, to some extent, define themselves by how they are different from each other. They pursue different interests, take on different roles, and explore different identities. These roles can be a source of self-realisation and sometimes frustration. 

Giving siblings personalities:

Choose personality traits for each sibling. Even if the sibling is only a minor character, it's important to know their basic personality.

Think about each character's dreams, hopes, and struggles. What do they want in life? What are their goals? Every character needs something to strive for.

Figure out their insecurities. Everyone feels insecure about different things: skills, personality traits, perceived physical flaws etc.

The siblings in your story might have similar looks, qualities and characteristics. However it’s important to make them their own person too. 

Keep in mind that siblings might have the same habits, sometimes without even realising it. (Personal example- My eldest brother and I do not look the same. He has green eyes, mine are brown. I have dark hair, he’s blonde. Our faces are shaped different. He takes after our mum, I take after our dad. However, we have a lot of the same habits and mannerisms. We both carry ourselves in the same way, we both quirk our eyebrows in the same manner when confused. Little things like that, that when growing up I’ve picked up from him and vice versa.)

Things siblings do: (This is a generalisation)

Siblings know how to push each others buttons.

Usually they spend so much time with each other, they know exactly how to annoy their sibling and the best way to do it.

Whatever annoys your character, his (or her) siblings already know about it. If your character’s siblings decide to get on his nerves, it shouldn’t take them very long.

Most (if not all) siblings make fun of each other to some degree. Usually they are just messing with each other. Depending on the circumstances, the insult may be forgotten almost immediately.

But it’s important to consider how siblings react when someone else is picking on their brother or sister. A lot of siblings will get defensive in this situation.  Unless you have set up a reason otherwise, make sure your siblings know how to tease each other but also how to protect each other.

They rarely call each other “sis” or “bro” unless they’re trying to be annoying. This is seen a lot in films and TV but it’s not common. The occasional greeting like that is fine, but overusing it just sounds strange and unnatural.

Sibling conflict:

Siblings will argue other pretty much anything. Most of the time it’s just to get a reaction. Sometimes one will start an argument just because they’re bored.

The silent treatment! A lot of siblings, particularly children teenagers and young adults will give each other the silent treatment over the pettiest things. But it’s incredibly hard to ignore someone living in the same house as you for a long period of time.

The sibling on the receiving end of the silent treatment will usually do absurd and annoying things to get their brother or sister to speak. 

Common things siblings argue about:

The tv remote

Who is going to use the bathroom first

Someone is taking too long in the bathroom

Who gets to sit in the front seat of the car

Who the favourite is

Estranged siblings:

“Sibling relationships are our longest, but it’s also an accident by birth. There are no guarantees that the siblings will grow up with similar personalities, interests or like each other,”

You should be able to find plenty of conflict amongst brothers and sisters. But most of the time there is a resolution.

If you were to fall out with a friend, you can unfriend them, you can’t un-sister a sister, whether you like it or not you’re stuck with that person in some sense.

However, some siblings do fall out and never speak to each other again. It happens, but if this happens in your story there are a few things to consider: 

When asked about their family will your character acknowledge that they have siblings? Or will they claim to be an only child?

Why did they stop speaking?

Would they reconcile in times of crisis? For example, if a family member died would the siblings put aside their differences to deal with the situation?

Do they tell stories about their childhood that include the sibling? 

It’s important to remember that if someone has a sibling, a lot of their childhood memories and stories from growing up will have some reference or include that sibling. It’s hard to complete cut them out, they will be mentioned at some point. 

Given the entangled, long-lasting bond, what’s the price paid for suspending or ending it? 

Does the sibling have other brothers or sisters whose relationships are satisfying? “

“If they have no contact with a sibling, it’s losing a shared history and there can be a sense of guilt,” 

Or are your character’s relieved? Do they express a sense of relief. 

“Like the end of a marriage, sibling estrangement is always sad, even when it brings relief. It’s not what anyone hoped for, but sometimes it’s the wise and necessary choice.”

Ways of bringing together estranged siblings:

Write compassion between your characters. Show them trying to see things from the sibling’s viewpoint alongside their own.

Have them say what they want from their sibling moving forward. Don’t just have your characters vent all the time. Your reader might grow tired of that.

Confirmation of love and affection:

Are the siblings in your story the type to talk about feelings? Maybe they don’t talk about it but the feeling is still there. Consider showing the depth of their relationship through actions.  

(Personal example - When I was born my brothers were 4 and 6 years older than me. From what my mum has said they were both excited to have another sibling and would fight about who got to hold me first. When we were younger we used to cuddle on the sofa and play together, and frequently said I love you etc,  however as we got older that stopped. I can’t remember the last time I said I love you to either of them, which sounds terrible. But it doesn’t change the fact that I know they love me and that they know I love them, we just show it and say it in different ways.)

Relationships with parents:

How did parents or caregivers react to fights between siblings?

Was there parental favouritism, real or perceived? How did the non-favourite sibling(s) react?

Do your siblings stick together when arguing with their parents?

Would your characters lie in order to prevent their brother or sister being told off by their parents?

Some siblings will join forces to tease their parents. 

What if the siblings don’t have a good relationship with their parents:

If this is the case in your story, research it, google is your friend.

Try and read up on real life experiences.

Consider how the siblings view their parents. Do they stand together with the same opinion or do they have conflicting recollection of events?

Do the parents have a healthy relationship with each other? How has this impacted their children?

Writing siblings who have abusive parents:

If the siblings come from an abusive home, how has this affect their behaviour? 

Do the siblings ever talk about what happened? 

Do they have the share the same experience? Do they ever argue about the situation?

Are they over protective?

Has their own relationship become strained? Have they drifted apart?

Do the siblings ever acknowledge the past? If not, does this cause friction?

Common assumptions about sibling age order:

Oldest child: people pleasing, bossy, organised, punctual, natural leader, controlling, ambitious, expected to uphold family values, caretakers, financially intelligent, responsible

Middle child: flexible, easy going, independent, sometimes feels like life is unfair, sometimes will engage in attention-seeking behaviour, competitive.

Youngest child: silly or funny, risk-taking, creative, sometimes feels inferior, easily bores, friendly, outgoing, idealistic, the baby of the family.

Only child: close to parents, demanding, leaders, spoiled, self-absorbed, private in nature, may relate better to adults to kids their own age, independent, responsible

While these are common assumptions, they are not strictly true and it’s important to consider your characters personality before you apply any of these stereotypes because it may clash with how your character truly is.

Half siblings:

Half-siblings can run along several lines:

They might act like full siblings, depending on how long they’ve known each other.

They may view each other as space takers.

Your characters may feel “eh” about their half- sibling, they could just be someone who is there but they don’t have a relationship with. The half-sibling may even be a complete stranger.

Consider that they might be rivals. Are they friendly rivals or bitter rivals?

Don’t get caught up in trying to build their relationship based on what “should be” in accordance with society. As you establish these characters, let your own imagination lead you to what their relationship is. But remember that their relationship will be impacted on how the parents treat them too.

(@its-the-tear-in-my-heart ​ thanks for asking about sibling relationships. This post is more generalised than your question but I hope it helped in some way.)

[robinistrying]

Chapter 10 with the boss but make it spicy :) +18

Okay so i was so frustrated that nothing happened between them in this moment because they’re obviously attracted to each other, i had to let it go out of my head ! Enjoy!!

We share a smile, and I try to hide my distress, but my thoughts are nowhere near this composed. How I’m supposed to act? What do I do? Is there any way out of this? While I’m struggling to reconcile myself to the situation, I’ve found myself in the boss put his hands on my waist. "We can’t... we are in someone’s else home” "I don't think that should matter. Besides... There is something sexy about doing it in a new location" The boss whisperers to me, his breath hot in my ear. I know that Huang is definitely watching us with his cameras. I can’t push him away. Do I even want to? I asked myself quietly. I managed to stick to my policy ever since that day, years ago... "What’s wrong?" Boss asked. "I think I’ll shower first..." "I don’t want to wait for that ... shower with me" All at once, he puts his arms around me. The boss face is so close to mine now, this is a man I have such intense feelings for... Is this the only consolation I’ll be allowed? That at least he is someone I care about? I gradually feel myself giving up. The boss encouraging the feeling in me, moves his hands over my body. I feel like he is able to touch even that lingering hesitation in me. Suddenly, to a mystifying extent, I’m overcome with feelings of love. The boss is incredible, his performance, for one thing and his ability to perceive what others are feeling. I wish he was the man who I have feelings for but with his others personas I’m not sure if I really know him. I wish tonight was the real us. And so i give myself up to the moment. A loving smile forms on the boss’s lips. This is my chosen profession. I have to go through with it. And so I crack a smile. "You know you surprised me today, I had no idea you bore me such a grudge over that dinner date of ours." "What can I say, I’d been looking forward to it for days." "Ah well forgive me, I promise I’ll make up to you soon." The boss continues his tender exploration of my body as he pleads for forgiveness. It feels so good that it slowly undoes my stubbornness... He slips his hands under my clothes and slides over my naked skin, his hands are so warm, so capable... His fingers as perfect as any sculptor could wish for, roam my body. He’s kindling a fire deep inside of me and my heart beats with new purpose. As I let out a moan, the boss sucks in his breath, mingled with my own. So physically I’m getting a little swept up in this, but I won’t let my feelings get swept away too, I hope. I try to lock my heart mentally and throw away the key. Yet I know that the warmth of the boss’s body and his scent, are doing a number on me. “I love the look on your face. It’s so sexy.” Then in a completely natural movement, he leans in and his kiss lands ever so slightly to the side of my lips. For a second I’m bewildered by the boss’s unexpected move, but even then I respond to his kiss. His muscular arms wrap around me, and I look up at him in raptures. "You must be in the rush if you can’t wait for me to take a shower." I said. I pull my face away from his, just an inch, and smile flirtatiously. "I can’t help it. I wanted this all night..." I can’t pretend that his words aren’t affecting me, because, he is amazing, the sound of his voice, the look on his face... it’s like he really wants me. But what was his intention kissing me next to the mouth? I’m still feeling confused when the boss guides me to the bed.

I lie down, and for a moment, he just stares at me with desire plain in his eyes. Then, like he is fully down with waiting, he buries his face in the crook of my neck, sucking on my skin... “Kazuya...” His name spills from my lips in a breathy moan. The boss’s breath is labored too, as he moves his mouth to my chest. The only sounds that can be heard are those of our breath and his lips as they do magical things to my skin. Even so, I continue to move my body in a natural performance of a couple being intimate. I gaze at the boss with amorous eyes as a woman in a passionate love with her husband. And I reach for the boss’s shirt like I can’t contain the rush of what I feel. I undo one button, then the next... then run my hands over the flesh of his broad chest. “God, you’re beautiful...” “You’re the beautiful one, Akari” His broad, muscular chest and strong dependable arms... He’d make any woman a happy wife. I access the fond feeling of a wife, who feels like the luckiest woman in the world. The boss impatiently reaches for my hand: "You forgot a few buttons." I stroke his neck and smile at him. My heart is pounding, his skin, slightly sweaty now, smells like a man. "That’s pretty kinky for you." "Don’t you think it’s sexy to do it with our clothes on? Be honest" "Aren’t you full of surprises? Yes, I like it... and if that’s what turns you on, i am happy to oblige" I was really turned on by his words. I felt slightly embarrassed but if I was going to sleep with the boss, I want to feel it as real as possible. He smiles then lies down next to me and holds his hand out to me. "Come here." No more foreplay, I take his hand and that’s it. We’re really going to do this... He pulls me close, so I am on the top of him. Although you can hear the sound of his buckle, you can’t see anything under my full skirt. “I’m taking yours off too.” He said in a sultry voice. His hands, under my skirt, touch my underwear. And that’s when I realized that I couldn’t hide how affected I was... Oh god. But he doesn’t take them off, he just runs his hands up and down my thighs. What are you doing boss? I thought. "You’re so wet, I can feel it" He said while letting the tips of his fingers tracing the edges of my underwear. “That didn’t take long” He added with a smirk. Bastard. I decided to trust my hips against him. Two can play this game. He was hard as a rock, he could tease but he was still a man after all. He gave me a surprised look, but he didn’t break his character, he was still wearing his flirtatious smile. Then I thought, maybe he planned to fake this, i had my suspicions when he kissed my face instead of my mouth... I’m not 100 percent sure of this plan, but for now, i’ll play along with the boss’s act and say in a coquettish voice.

"I’ve never done it in someone else’s house it’s exciting." "Please, tell me I don’t have to wait a second longer okay?" He puts his hands on my hips and moves me slowly like he is sinking into me. He rocks his hips back and forth. Under my skirt, nothing is going on, well almost. Sometimes I feel his bulge on my core, and I can’t help but bit my lower lip.

I wonder if he is as affected as I am, but he just lets a look of sensual pleasure onto his face, nothing more than we are supposed to do. I feel a bit frustrated but he said:

“Don’t stop.” I focus on that and let my inhibitions melt away as the boss and I, perform the act. I moved my hips like I was riding him, our bodies clashed one against the other, sending butterflies in my belly, I don’t know if he planned this but I felt his right hand on my ass, and the other one was locked on my hips as he was urging me.

I let my head fall back and look up at the ceiling as I arch my back further, still the sensation as I’m really making love to the boss, slowly but surely becomes very real. I mean it could count at least as dry humping like we were some horny teenagers.

With this particular confusion comes another feeling that I can’t deny, the proximity of his body and the feeling of his desire makes my heart races uncontrollably. "Does that feel good?" he asked. As our breath grows labored, I feel somehow closer to him... “Y...yeah” I said, feeling vulnerable. Suddenly he stops and claps me against his chest. We trade positions and the boss slides himself on the top of me. His lips won’t stop leaving my chest, and with this angle, I feel the head of his shaft hitting my clit, I prayed that our act would come soon to an end because I felt the orgasm building inside of me.

I felt like I was about to combust, I let my head fall back against the pillow, eyes shut, trying to hide how I was really feeling, even though it was pointless because I felt my drenched panties betraying me. I felt his lips leaving my chest and making their way to my neck and I heard him whispering: "Next time, we’re doing this my way... I need to make you mine, you don’t know how hard it is... I just want to push your panties aside and claim you..."He said in a raspy voice. His control is being swept away, and I smiled because at least I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. I let out a moan. "I know you like when I talk to you dirty like this, I know you want to come, you don’t have to pretend... I know it already. Look at me and say it, say that you want me to make you come and I will.” "Make me come then" I said out of breath in a challenging voice. “Ask nicely.” He said in a hard tone than I never heard before. I blushed, but my desire was stronger than my pride. "Please make me come..." and then I turned my head next to his ear so only he could hear: "Boss" No more pretending, I played my part. He attacked my neck vigorously with his tongue and teeth, he was definitely enjoying this, I had the impression that he was this kind of man, I guess I was right. He let out a chuckle and said: "Remember you asked for this." He swept his hand under our connected pelvises and touched my clit, his fingers exerted a light pressure on it and he started doing little circles with it. "I can’t wait for the day I’ll get to finally be inside you, I feel it how ready you are for me..." I gasped, I was so close, I felt my hips bucking on their own as I enjoyed the pleasure he was giving me, he grabbed my chin with his free hand and kissed me passionately, a sensual, passionate, kiss. Our skins were on fire. I couldn’t control myself no more as I moaned into our kiss.

Then I felt all the muscles in my body tense up, and the volcano who was slowly building inside of me exploded, I let out a loud cry as I was gasping for air. I felt the boss tense up as well and stopped bucking his hips slowly like he came too, but I know it wasn’t the case, he didn’t forgot that we were being watched.

When the sensations of my orgasm where slowly leaving me, I started to feel anxious, I stepped out of character and couldn’t control myself, it was so unprofessional of me, I was mortified. The boss as he sensed my fears took my face in his hands and said: "Stop. You were perfect, I couldn’t ask for a better wife, now let’s go to sleep." I hesitated. Is this really okay? Is he feeling what I am feeling? I don’t want this to be just a fling, but I was afraid that it was already too late. And then I felt a kiss on my forehead. His strong arms were around me holding me tight. Sleepiness was taking over me, I felt so warm, loved almost. I wanted to know what it meant for him. Boss please don’t let me down. I trust you... As he hugged me tighter to his chest, I heard a whisper but I was already falling asleep so I couldn’t hear: “I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me”

[hafanforever]

Kindred Spirits

While in the Enchanted Forest, Elsa squares off against three of the four elemental spirits. The first spirit appears when she is with her family. The second spirit appears when the five characters are in the presence of the Arendellian soldiers and the Northuldra people. Then the third spirit appears to Elsa alone.

It is my theory that the Wind, Fire, and Water Spirits, those being Gale, Bruni, and the Nokk, respectively, appear because they detect Elsa’s powers. They sense the presence of her magic, which makes them suspect she may be a spirit like them. Their “attacks” are actually tests in which they challenge Elsa to see if she IS truly the fifth spirit, and thus one of them, or if she is a fraud.

During her encounters with these spirits, Elsa must pass their tests, one at a time, to prove herself worthy of joining them.

These tests begin when Gale appears as a tornado. She aggressively sweeps up the whole group and swirls them around, but then she lets the others go while Elsa remains in her grasp. This clearly indicates that Gale realizes that Elsa is the ONLY magical being of the five. Elsa successfully stops Gale’s twister by shooting out ice, which leads to the creation of the ice sculptures. Afterwards, Gale reappears as a swirl of leaves (her usual form), and becomes very playful and curious.

After Elsa and her family meet the Northuldra and soldiers, Bruni appears when he starts a fire in one tree, then he jumps around more trees and runs to several other spots, setting much of the forest ablaze. Elsa emits ice from her hands to put out the fires, but she barely extinguishes them before more emerge. When she finally corners Bruni and discovers that he’s just a tiny salamander, Elsa calmly approaches him, then dodges a spew of fire and puts it out after he hisses and spits it at her. Upon seeing what she does to the aforementioned fire, Bruni’s aggression turns to curiosity, and he cocks his head as he looks at Elsa, who does the same gesture. He then cautiously approaches Elsa, and she gently extends her hand, gesturing that she means no harm. After Bruni climbs into her hands and happily settles down, Elsa creates some snowflakes, which he eagerly gobbles up.

When Elsa begins crossing the Dark Sea to go to Ahtohallan, she faces her deadliest spiritual challenge yet when she encounters the Nokk, a water entity shaped like a horse and the guardian of said sea. This test proves to be more difficult for Elsa, not only because she struggles to swim through the choppy water and its huge waves, but also because the Nokk acts more aggressive than the other two spirits did. It repeatedly chases after Elsa and tries to drown her, but she uses her powers to steadily fight back at each of its attempts. After creating reins to hold on to and ride the Nokk, it continues to resist and bucks several times to try and throw her off. But Elsa valiantly keeps her grasp, refusing to be thrown off, and the Nokk finally settles down. Afterwards, it carries her to Ahtohallan, then disappears into the water after she disembarks. Before they part, Elsa and the Nokk bow to each other, displaying a newfound respect that has formed between them.

When Elsa freezes in Ahtohallan after discovering the truth about her grandfather’s crimes, Anna receives the last-minute message from Elsa about the latter’s discovery, and concludes that the dam must be broken in order to free the forest. By this time, the Earth Giants are still the only spirit(s) left to be confronted. With Elsa dead, and Olaf gone due to the loss of Elsa’s magic, Anna alone takes it upon herself to face the Giants. She does this by provoking them into following her to the dam and throwing boulders to break it. Upon being awoken, the Giants react aggressively towards Anna by trying to stomp on her and throwing their boulders as they chase her. But Anna succeeds in luring them to the dam and getting them to destroy it. Once the structure has fallen, Elsa is revived, saves Arendelle, and returns to the forest. With the dam obliterated, the Giants are tame once again.

Now Elsa facing off, or rather, not facing off, against the Giants earlier in the film, as opposed to the other spirits, is a different story. Like Gale and Bruni before, and then the Nokk later, the Giants sensed Elsa’s presence when she was at the Northuldra camp, which is why they appeared there. They were attracted to her magic, which made them think that she may have been one of them. However, while Elsa briefly thinks she can settle them like she did with Gale and Bruni, Anna convinces her that it wouldn’t be smart to confront them now. Realizing that she would put everyone at risk if she stayed since the Giants would likely return and persistently search for her at the camp until they finally found her there, Elsa decides to leave immediately and continue going north.

Unlike the other spirits, I think if Elsa tried to confront the Giants, it would have been harder for her to settle them unlike the others, mainly because there are several Giants and they are all enormous in size. @mike5579-t3a​ mentioned to me that Elsa confronting 40+ foot tall, heavy Earth Giants along with a group that consisted of the Northuldra, Mattias, the four remaining soldiers, Anna, Kristoff, Olaf, and Sven would be a lose-lose or win-lose situation. Though Bruni’s fires were dangerous, they were quickly and easily extinguished, without having done significant damage to the forest, once Elsa calmed him down. However, the Giants’ size make them a bigger danger to everyone else, mainly because they and their boulders are capable of doing lots of unrepairable damage to the forest, most especially when they are in angry, aggressive states.

When it comes to other reasons why the Giants had to be confronted last, I think their monstrous size wasn’t the only problem. Keep in mind that in real life, earth is usually regarded as the most physical element in nature since it represents hard, solid objects like rock and stone. For that reason, I think the physical presence of the dam, a firm, stone structure, affected the Giants the most. By this, I mean that it made them the most aggressive of all four spirits because they are made of rock themselves. As long as the dam stood, the Giants could not be easily, if at all, pacified like the Wind, Fire, and Water Spirits. But once the dam was gone, the Giants returned to their original, peaceful state.

By the end of Frozen II, the Wind, Fire, Water, and Earth Spirits have not just reconciled with the Northuldra and Arendellians; they have resumed living in harmony with each other, the Northuldra, and now live alongside Elsa, the fifth spirit, in the Enchanted Forest.

Interestingly enough, earlier in the film, when the ice crystals appear after Elsa finishes singing “Into the Unknown”, she identifies them in the order of air, fire, water, and earth. This turns out to be a subtle foreshadowing of the same sequential order of the spirits that Elsa and Anna face on their adventure.

[astrology-india]

Libra Compatibility - The Best and Worst Match

New Post has been published on https://www.astrology-india.com/libra-compatibility/

Libra Compatibility - The Best and Worst Match

Libra natives are peaceful, diplomatic, and sociable.

These individuals are fascinated by symmetry and they are interested in creating a world of justice and equality.

Besides, their urge for balance operates on an aesthetic level.

Libra Suns have an innate sense of style and are inclined to look for refined experiences and objects in their everyday life.

Getting information about Libra compatibility could be useful if you are interested in sustaining a healthy connection.

Whether Libra is your Sun sign or the sign of your crush, this article will help you get facts that will be useful for navigating the challenges of relationships.

Remember, though, that Astrology is not limited to the Sun sign.

You should consult with a professional astrologer to acquire an in-depth report of the compatibility between two people.

Sun signs only offer a general idea about compatibility.

Best Libra Compatibility Matches

The Sun signs that are the best matches for Libra have to share some common traits with the graceful nature of this cardinal airy sign. Read on, to know more about them.

Libra and Gemini

Gemini and Libra are both air signs. This means that they would have an entertaining mental connection and a witty verbal understanding.

Gemini and Libra enjoy sharing their ideas about every-thing and participating in cultural events that will make them learn something new and meet stimulating people.

Libra Suns love to entertain their acquaintances and Gemini Suns are also very social.

This couple is great at hosting parties and inviting friends to their home.

Since they both love talking and being the center of attention, they will make jokes and observations like they were stand-up comedians in their own Netflix special.

The spontaneous nature of the Gemini Suns could be really beneficial for the perfectionist Libra Suns.

On the other hand, Libra Suns can help their Gemini partners to tidy up their scattered thoughts in order to express them more cohesively.

They can complement each other beautifully when they are capable of appreciating their unique mindsets.

This almost-perfect match may hit a snag if they do not show their vulnerable side.

These two Sun signs have a bit of a reputation for being superficial.

They need to learn how to vent their feelings and to accept that life is not always fun, entertaining, and light.

Libra and Aquarius

There is a strong bond between an Aquarius Sun and a Libra Sun.

They share the element of air and appreciate mental stimulation.

Since both signs rely heavily on communication, they will enjoy talking with each other and will find the right words to solve all of their issues.

Libra is a sign who does not want to be alone. Aquarius, on the other hand, likes solitude and needs some space to feed its individuality.

The Libra partner could seem clingy, whereas the Aquarius partner might seem detached.

Luckily, meeting halfway and finding some common ground is possible and it will guarantee that they will be able to overcome their differences.

Marriage is considered very meaningful for Libra Suns. For Aquarius Suns, it may seem to be an obsolete institution.

But they will settle down for the right partner and a Libra Sun may have the specific qualities that an Aquarius Sun needs to feel comfortable and amused at the same time.

It is important for both Libra and Aquarius Suns to move slowly and make the decision to tie the knot when they are certain that the relationship is going to be beneficial in the long run.

Libra and Leo

Leo Sun values pride and beauty. And a Libra Sun enjoys pleasing other people with their attractive and elegant demeanor.

Together, they may learn how to express themselves unapologetically and how to strengthen their talents.

They support each other’s personalities in a communicative and charming way.

The sextile between the Leo Sun and the Libra Sun makes it possible for them to have a respectful partnership and to build stronger personalities that are free of judgment of any kind.

This couple knows how to shine!

The elements of fire and air fit perfectly. Leo puts a passionate touch to every intelligent idea concocted by Libra. Their communication is quick, inspiring, and enthusiastic.

These two signs together represent the consummation of a loving relationship.

When you look at this couple, you will see that their devotion for one another is real, palpable and it has long-term potential.

When a Leo Sun and a Libra Sun are together, they will not engage in a relationship with no future.

Less Libra Compatibility Matches

Having mentioned the best matches for Libra Suns, the moment has arrived for taking a look at the less compatible ones.

Please remember that this Libra compatibility article is based only on the Sun sign.

Two people who possess Sun signs that are not traditionally compatible can still have a healthy relationship. The reason behind this is that compatibility goes beyond Sun signs.

There may be other astrological placements in the natal charts, as well as a desire of getting to know more about a partner, that could make a relationship work and be long-lasting.

Libra and Taurus

Even though both signs are ruled by Venus, Taurus and Libra couldn’t be more different.

Taurus is a fixed and earthy sign that enjoys life when it’s predictable and stable.

Libra, on the other hand, needs to start new projects all the time and to socialize with new people.

These two signs will drive each other crazy in a committed relationship.

While the Taurus Sun may be stubborn and fixated on their old ideas, the Libra Sun may be indecisive and always interested in seeing life from a variety of perspectives.

The Taurus Sun wants to keep things under control and the Libra Sun wants to push the envelope constantly.

Insecurity may be another issue in this couple.

The Libra Sun could criticize their Taurus Sun partner as a way of projecting their own fears of not being good enough.

But the Taurus Sun will not understand this unconscious mechanism and will take the criticism very personally.

Then, the Taurus Suns could experience sudden bursts of anger because they are not able to channel their emotions constructively. And Libra Suns will go away because they can’t stand rudeness.

Libra and Virgo

A relationship between a Virgo Sun and a Libra Sun doesn’t look like a good match.

Virgo is an earth sign and is ruled by Mercury. This means that it relies on tangible results.

Libra is an airy sign ruled by Venus and couldn’t be more distant from Virgo’s pragmatic nature.

Libra craves beauty and art and can be very vacillating when making a decision.

As soon as one of them has to articulate a concern or a deep feeling, the other one seems to freeze and to lose the ability for showing empathy or compassion.

These two signs are not known for having the skill to connect with their emotions and display them honestly.

The mental attraction that they may experience interferes with showing love and with providing comfort at disturbing times.

Virgo wants to optimize processes and improve existing systems. Therefore, people born under this sign will take over the decisions that the Libra Suns need to make.

The Libra Suns will feel inferior and will stop respecting their Virgo Sun partner. While Libra Suns don’t tolerate the absence of kindness, Virgo Suns can’t accept ambivalence.

Libra and Scorpio

The value system of a Scorpio Sun is remarkably divergent from the value system of a Libra Sun.

Scorpio is not afraid of facing the darkest aspects of the human condition. Libra, on the other extreme, is devoted to niceties.

A Libra Sun may perceive that a Scorpio Sun goes the extra mile to be perceived as special and deep.

A Scorpio Sun may perceive that a Libra Sun compromises all the time just to fit in.

The main problem here is that a Libra Sun may be too concerned about other people’s opinions and a Scorpio Sun finds this concern superficial and shallow.

Libra Suns will have trouble understanding the inquisitive side of Scorpio, as much as Scorpio Suns won’t be able to understand the accommodating nature of their Libra partners.

Their differences could be impossible to reconcile. However, they may have an incredibly intense and demanding sexual life.

Obsession and possessiveness are two possible manifestations when they are in the bedroom.

They could create profound ties through their physical contact, but everything else in the relationship could make them feel unsatisfied and unappreciated.

Libra Man

The Libra man is gentle, tactful, and smart. He has great manners and dedicates a lot of time to improve his appearance.

On the downside, he could have high standards in a partnership and this will be reflected in the way he treats his significant other.

The Libra man could not-so-subtly make suggestions to his partner about clothing and modals.

When he is in a committed relationship, he loves taking his significant other to fancy restaurants, art galleries, and big concerts.

He wants to dress up for special occasions and display a spotless image. And he wants his partner to act in the same when they are together in public.

This man enjoys compliments about the way he looks and how smart he is.

He likes being cherished and caressed in public, but he may have a hard time showing affection when surrounded by strangers.

Libra Man Relationship Compatibility

The signs that are most compatible with having a relationship with a Libra man are Leo and Sagittarius.

Having a relationship with one of these fire signs is beneficial for the Libra man because his partner will make him feel appreciated.

If you are dating a Libra man but you are having trouble deciphering his true feelings for you then I recommend you read our article on Libra man in love to help guide you.

Libra Man Sexual Compatibility

If the Libra man wants to experience a satisfying sexual life, he has to choose partners with the Sun in Aries or Capricorn.

These two signs are also cardinal and will definitely know how to ignite the spark.

Libra Woman

The Libra woman is fair, loyal, and delicate. She will be prepared to make a lifetime commitment with a partner of her choosing.

However, she could be too focused on pleasing her significant other all the time and forget who she is as an individual.

Therefore, she can come across as someone who is calculating and fake.

Her need to be in a relationship is extremely strong and dating is never casual for her.

In extreme situations, this woman could be thinking about marriage after the first date!

She could be quite needy and dependent on her partner to make even the simplest decisions. But when she knows her worth, she can be adorable, enchanting, and attentive.

A confident Libra woman doesn’t go unnoticed.

Libra Woman Relationship Compatibility

The signs that are most compatible with a committed relationship with a Libra woman are Gemini and Aquarius.

Gemini and Aquarius are connected with Libra by trine. The relationship with one of these tactful airy signs will be fun and exciting.

Libra Woman Sexual Compatibility

Even if they will not work well together in a long-term relationship, having a sexual partner with the Sun in Taurus or in Scorpio will be a parade of lust for the Libra woman.

These two fixed signs are intense and possessive, two qualities that could be interesting to find in a sexual encounter.

Final Thoughts

Gracious and charismatic, the sons and daughters of Venus will definitely catch your attention. Their persuasive tactics and their classy style make them utterly mesmerizing.

Libra Suns are relationship-oriented and could be people-pleasers. But they also want to have a first-class partner.

They won’t settle for less than they deserve and they will not give up their social life to stay at home with a dull person.

This is why Libra compatibility with the other air signs is a good combination, as well as with fire signs. Air and fire are positive elements that want to have a vibrant and lively existence.

A long-term relationship with an earth or water sign may not be the best option for Libra Suns.

Earth and water are elements that belong to the negative polarity and their natives are much more reserved and quiet than a Libra Sun.

If this article didn’t quite answer your questions about Libra compatibility then I recommend you take a look at our article here to find your perfect love match according to astrology.

[yinyangswings]

L&L Single Parent AU

So I was kind of inspired by @musicfeedsmysoul12 headcanon of the Love & Legends MC being a single mother. As I also like that AU I decided to give it a go. I tried to keep it as different as I could to @musicfeedsmysoul12‘s which is here.

It’s a bit long so I’m placing them in the Read Below

August Falke 

The kid is a shy and quiet five year old bio daughter of MC, and is incredibly mature for her age. The father was abusive towards both of them, and MC managed to leave. 

It was after a particularly bad beating where MC realized that if she didn’t leave, she probably wouldn’t live much longer and she would be damned if she was going to leave her daughter in the hands of that man.

She basically blackmails him with the threat of going to the police to get him to leave them both alone.

Sophie is protective of the girl and babysits when MC has to do multiple shifts for work.

August is still initially suspicious of MC, and still very angry and argumentative with her over it. He doesn’t have as hard of time letting go of the idea of MC being the Witch Queen, because of her daughter.

However she takes a lot longer to trust him because of the anger and suspicion.

When MC ran away after the whole ice crystal incident, all the little girl saw in her mind was Mommy running away from Daddy.

It takes her a lot longer to trust August after all this and she is pretty much glued to her mother’s side, and never really lets any of them out of her sight when alone with her mother. 

She was a shield for her mother back in Chicago, she’ll be her mother’s shield now.

She does her best to keep away from him for a little while in season 2, even after her mother reconciles with August, much to his confusion and concern.

August is aghast when MC explains the reasons for her daughter’s behavior around and general distrust of him.

The very idea of someone laying a hand on either MC or the little girl makes him sick. Even at his angriest he wouldn’t have dreamed of channeling his anger into hitting either of them. 

With her permission he tells the others, and she’s honestly surprised and relieved with the reactions. 

They all make sure both mother and daughter are alright and know they are willing to listen if they need to talk. 

The kid winds up making a connection (and reconciling) with August due to her love of horses. The two obsess over horses which amuses MC. She begins to come out of her shell because of this, though she is still generally shy.

In general she follows Solaire and Ryland around the castle when not following her mother. But she begins to open up to the others after a little while. Her favorite person to stay with is Saerys. He has no problem teasing the others that he’s the favorite. 

Reiner is a close second and it takes very little persuasion to convince him to teach her how to play the piano

August is extremely protective of MC and the girl, even more so after MC tells him of the abuse. Almost vicious, especially when he goes to Chicago and they run into the father. It’s really only because MC is there that stops August from beating the man into a pulp. 

She calls August ‘papa’ when they are visiting the Falke Inn during Season 3

He’s surprised to say the least and has some explaining to do with his mother.

MC tells him later that she can ask her daughter to not call him that if it makes him feel uncomfortable, but he reassures her it doesn’t. 

The little girl isn’t with August and MC when MC is sent back to Chicago. So she’s quite startled and scared when August is brought in injured, and her mother is nowhere to be found. 

She barely leaves August’s side and tries to be as helpful as she can. When her mother comes back, she is pretty much glued to her side. 

When the WQ’s curse begins to affect her, MC practically begs August to take care of her daughter, panicking at the idea of leaving her alone. August tells her that there was no way he would leave the girl alone and he would raise the girl if MC doesn’t survive.

He does also swear to MC he will do anything in his power to make sure she doesn’t die.

August’s parents find her adorable and Asta absolutely dotes on her. As far as she’s concerned, she’s the girl’s grandmother now and becomes that . Bayard takes a little bit longer to warm up to the girl, in part of her shyness around other men, but eventually he grows close with her. 

August’s sisters become incredibly protective of her. Especially Heloise.

August asks the little girl if he can marry MC first, because her comfort is just as important to him as MC. 

When he and MC talk about having other kids, August is quick to assure her that he sees the girl as his own daughter as well. 

Saerys 

The kid is the adopted 8 year old daughter of MC. MC had been dating her father when he was killed in an accident when she was 5. Her mother didn’t want custody of her because she had started a new family, so MC took her in. 

The kid at first doesn’t like Saerys, due to her bio mom choosing her new family over her and fearing that MC would abandon her too if she winds up getting a family with Saerys. 

Especially when Saerys runs away and MC runs after him to try and convince him to come back. MC tells her that she would have come back, but it takes a few days for her to forgive her. 

In season 3 while in Chicago, they run into bio mom who basically ignores her right in front of her new family at the coffee shop. 

It just breaks the kid and she just storms off, which leads to a frantic search from both MC and Saerys. It��s Saerys who finds her in a park. 

It does lead to a heart-to-heart conversation between the two, and Saerys promises that he wouldn’t ever make MC choose between either of them and that as far as he’s concerned, she’s his daughter. Her mother didn’t know what she was losing. 

It’s Season 4 where she starts calling both MC and Saerys Mom and Dad. Saerys is stunned, but MC just smiles. It’s a very happy day for them.

Saerys in turbo mode never attacks the girl, and is incredibly protective of her in that mode. 

They don’t tell her right away about what happened to MC with having half of Saerys’s soul. MC does tell her a few days after just so she doesn’t find out by other means. The girl understandably freaks out, though is more freaked out that MC died than the soul part. She likes Saerys more because of that.

The demon souls don’t know what to make of her. On the one hand a child. On the other hand it’s not her biological child. MC is not pleased by this. 

Saerys is protective of her and MC, like extremely protective of them. That little girl begins to learn self-defense from Saerys.

He begins to teach the girl the demon language. He has to try really hard to not laugh when she says curse words in demon language and try to scold her when MC figures it out.

Initially she’s scared of Saerys’s Demon God Mode, but she gets used to it. 

She’s initially nervous about meeting the other demons, because unlike MC, she doesn’t have any demon connection other than Saerys. After all, just like what the Demon Gods say, she’s not biologically MC’s. Saerys is quick to remind her of the promise made in Chicago. 

Altea Bellerose

The kid is the four year bio son of MC. He was conceived via in vitro. His other mom unfortunately died due to an illness, and he doesn’t really remember her because he was so young. All he remembers is Mama being sad for a little while after Mommy left. 

At first Altea is still suspicious, because anyone knows that Reiner has a soft spot for protecting children. WQ would totally use that against them. However as she watches them, and she can clearly see MC loves the boy. Something the WQ wouldn’t be able to act out

He is absolutely enthralled by Altea, like full on staring before growing completely excited over Altea’s magic. And begins to ask a lot of questions to MC’s embarrassment.

Altea finds it adorable.

The little boy winds up following Altea wherever she goes as much as possible, though MC tries to distract him as much as she can when Altea is researching in the library so she can read more than two words.

Altea gives the boy the nickname ‘Little Shadow’. It fits.

Altea begins to teach the boy how to speak French and he just loves it.

Being a princess thing was a shock for MC and a big worrying factor for her, because she wondered what that would mean for her and her son. She’s a ‘commoner’ and a single mother. She doubts Altea’s parents would be happy with her or her son.

She’s right.

Altea is protective over him, especially with her parents attitudes towards MC and the boy.

Altea’s parents take a little while to accept MC and the boy, but when they do they become rather attentive grandparents.

Lionel loves the idea of being an uncle

When Altea gains her wings, she and the boy go flying. It’s fun for the kid, but the other retainers and Reiner have to watch as MC nearly has an aneurysm watching the two of them fly around.

Reiner Wolfson

The kid is a seven month old bio daughter of MC. The father, while not physically abusive, was incredibly manipulative towards her but she put up with it. However, when she discovered he was cheating on her, she broke up with him. 

She found out a week later she was pregnant. When she told him just so he would know, he first denied the baby being his and accused her of being a cheater, before ultimately saying he wanted nothing to do with the baby.  

Reiner (and the other retainers) were just stunned by the infant. They all pretty much become protective from the start.

It’s easier for them to figure out that she isn’t WQ due to the fact that the girl is only a few months old and she’s been gone for several years. And Reiner’s spies would have discovered offspring of the WQ way before this. 

Admittedly when they first arrive, they are suspicious. The baby girl does not understand why people hate her mommy initially and just begins bawling when August begins to yell at MC. Cue panicked attempts to get her to calm down before MC manages to do so.

She enjoys teaching Reiner the song of her people on the piano...AKA bashing the piano keys with her tiny hands. MC apologizes multiple times but Reiner just laughs and laughs and says it’s understandable and he’s just happy that she seems to be enjoying herself.

She enjoys listening to Reiner play the piano though, and usually falls asleep listening to it.

When MC gives herself up to the generals, her only thought is that her daughter is safe with Reiner and the others, and she can live with that.

MC’s initially hesitant to get into a relationship due to her daughter’s father and that whole experience with him, though her heart warms whenever she watches Reiner with her daughter

This is even more evident when Reiner asks her to marry him. At first she’s really hesitant, but then sort of realizes that Reiner loves both her and her daughter and accepts

The baby senses something is wrong with her mother in Season 3, and gets fussy a lot easier when being held by her.

Reiner is super protective of her and of MC, especially when they get word that WQ intends to keep her alive and raise her.

Example of this is when Magnus makes a veiled threat in season 2 when the Generals attempt to get MC again that if they cannot have the mother, the daughter will do. Reiner fires an arrow at him so Magnus understands what he would have to deal with if he even attempts that.

Reiner is not a happy man when he finds out about the girl’s father, which is early on in Season 2. It surprises MC quite a bit, but also makes her heart skip a beat.

Ryland absolutely adores her. Almost rivals Reiner in the protective streak.

The baby is in that age range where everything goes into the mouth. It’s cute at first until she starts trying to put Reiner’s arrows into her mouth.

Then cue panic and trying to gingerly get her to release the arrows.

When MC and the baby meet Reiner in Chicago, the baby is so excited to see him, though he doesn’t recognize her. It leads to a lot of confusion on her part, and breaks MC’s heart.

Reiner thankfully takes it in stride (he just assumes the father looked similar to him).

Reiner formally adopts the girl after he and MC marry, making her his heir. They happen to run into the girl’s biological father after the papers are signed. Reiner has some choice words with him, but does thank the man for at least helping create his daughter.

She’s his daughter in his eyes, no matter who disagrees.

He and MC do talk about whether they want another child. They decide that if they do decide to have another child, they will treat and raise both of them with the same amount of love, but there isn’t a rush.

Iseul Idreis 

The kid is a three year old adopted son of MC. He’s a very quiet kid and just tends to stare at everything and everyone. 

Iseul didn’t want to be the one to watch the both of them. Because children=a lot more responsibility

Iseul initially doesn’t understand what the kid wants when he just stares...and stares...and stares some more at different things, but mainly him.

It’s...actually quite off-putting to start off with.

It takes him a little bit to realize he just stares because he wants to and doesn’t really have anyone his age to hang around. 

He gets used to him and eventually begins to understand what the boy wants when he stares at him. MC is there to help him out on that

It’s a slower burn relationship because of Iseul’s hesitance of being responsible for the kid and MC’s hesitance of him and the situation in general.

The two begin to bond through the kids' interest in archery. Like when he and MC watch Iseul training, it is the most interest MC has seen him take in an activity other than being read to.

Eventually Iseul develops a soft spot for the kid

Ishara absolutely adores him. Becomes grandma Ishara pretty quickly.

The rest of Iseul’s family follows suit and his siblings are so protective of him.

He is spoiled so much by Iseul’s family.

It is revealed that he was a test made by the WQ using Magnus and then discarded him, followed swiftly by making MC.

Both Iseul and MC decide to wait until he’s older before telling him this as it would confuse and scare him at this point.

He becomes a very gentle and quiet brother for Iris, who will go to him if she gets annoyed with their parents. He generally leaves her to her own devices, but is the occasional partner-in-crime

Iseul and Ishara fully plan on him drinking from the well as well.

The dragons at first actually scare him...and they learn that he would be the first one killed if a wild animal attacked because he just freezes when he gets startled. He gets used to them, but still.

Helena Klein 

The kid is a ten year boy that MC adopted. He is the son of a friend that died. His mother was murdered by his father, and he had no one else. He was unfortunately witness to this, and at the start is mute due to the trauma. 

Both MC and Sophie are protective of him, and whenever he has nightmares MC just holds him until he falls back asleep. 

When MC and him arrive, he’s understandably terrified, but is then really confused. MC makes an excuse as to why she arrived with a ten year old boy. She doesn’t tell anyone the truth for a little while, though she suspects Helena was figuring it out before she told her.

He begins to develop magical abilities, that they can only assume was because they were sent there. Helena begins to teach, though she is extremely hesitant due to how she learned and was taught by the WQ

Helena is protective of the boy and the boy is actually pretty protective of Helena, especially when he gets the Spark Notes version of the abuse she suffered from the WQ. Like he literally stands in front of Reiner and the retainers when they go to arrest her to protect her.

It’s really hard fro him to come to terms when she forgets everything in Chicago, but tries to help her as much as MC does.

He begins speaking in later seasons, only a little at first but eventually starts talking completely in Season 5

It is a very happy day for MC

He starts calling MC ‘Ma’ and Helena ‘Mom’ in Season 6

Helena begins crying uncontrollably when he calls her that the first time.

When Alain is killed, the boy worries about Helena’s mental state a great deal afterwards, and has flashbacks of when his mother was killed.

Alain Richter 

The kid is a one year old bio daughter of MC and the result of a one night stand. MC doesn’t remember much of that night other than she had consented, though it can be considered dubious consent at best (especially if you ask Sophie). She looks exactly like her mother.

She manages to convince the other Generals that she had made this child as an experiment, but does confide in Alain that the girl is biologically hers.

He’s understandably hurt and confused, but she confesses that she really doesn’t remember a whole lot that night.

This opens a completely different can of worms for Alain, who really, really, really wants to kill the man.

Alain winds up adoring this girl. Like he holds her for the first time and MC sees him relax in an instant and his guard goes down just as fast. 

The same can be said about the baby, who calms down rather quickly when given to Alain. 

Becomes overprotective Papa the moment he sees her.

When WQ learns of the child, she sees the toddler as her own and begins to make plans to take and raise her. 

This terrifies MC because of her memories of what WQ has done and she knows she could never let that happen. 

MC uses her love for Alain and her daughter to fend off Jinhai’s creatures when they escape.

When his heart is frozen, the girl seems to sense it, leading her to not like being held by him. MC knows he’s truly back when he picks her up, and she giggles, and then hugs him..

She begins crying out of relief which scares the shit out Alain, who fears she’s hurt.

She tells Alain if she doesn’t survive to take care of their daughter in her stead. He at first denies the request, but when she makes it practically an order, he complies, albeit reluctantly.

When they’re in Chicago, they run into the baby’s bio daddy. It does not go over well when the man insults MC in front of Alain, especially when the man mocks the toddler as well.

MC is pretty much convinced that anyone who tries to be in a relationship with their daughter when she’s older is going to have one hell of a fight on their hand.

[squidproquoclarice]

All the questions for the relationship meme :^)

All the questions for Sadithur (as discussed!), done.  This one’s going largely under a cut because it’s long!  Numerous other people requested a single answer, but since I got this one, please go ahead and refer to this for it.

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

He came to rob her house for survival supplies, and instead ended up rescuing her from being held prisoner by the men who’d murdered her husband.  Not exactly a meet cute.

What was their first impression of each other?

Uhhhh, well.  Arthur’s first impression of Sadie was “poor shocked woman who’s had her house broken into, her husband murdered, and been attacked herself by O’Driscolls for the last three days”.  And Sadie’s first impression of Arthur is probably “large strange man who was in my house, shot the bastards who broke in, and is clearly a violent man himself, even if he saved me, and I’m not inclined to trust pretty much any man right now, let alone one with a gun.”  Not the most promising beginning.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

Hosea definitely hoped for them to become a couple at some point if they survived what was to come, even though he knew at that time neither of them was in a good place for it.  Hosea’s very much the cheerleader for his kids being happy, to judge from his trying to get Abigail and John to reconcile, and given I’m sure he knows about Eliza and Isaac, he knows how lonely and traumatized Arthur is, and also sees the remarkable rapport and ease of manner he develops with Sadie.  I also think Abigail, who loves both Arthur and Sadie deeply, kind of hoped for it also.  She knows how lonely they both are, and sees how they are around each other, and we know she’s definitely a bit of a romantic and a believer in the power of love.  I suspect Tilly might have leaned in that direction too, because Tilly’s perceptive AF, and Arthur’s Big Bro. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Arthur.  Understandably so, as his grief for Isaac and Eliza is further in the past than Sadie’s for Jake.  It was still only a matter of a couple of months difference, though. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Not so much resisted as restrained.  They readily accepted they felt that way, and that the person they felt romantic feelings towards was more than worthy of it.  They were just questioning whether it was right and fair to put those feelings on the other person.  Both of them had concerns--Arthur felt like he had nothing to offer Sadie and had no right to impose on her like that with his feelings, and Sadie had concerns that Arthur would just be bulldozed into a relationship from just being happy to be wanted, and she was unwilling to hurt him like that.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think? Almost immediately the two of them click in a profound way and they’re very close and comfortable with each other.  The trust and affection and deep friendship is already there, so I don’t think they’d be shocked to hear they’d be so important to each other.  But they would likely have both been very surprised at the idea of also being together romantically and sexually at some point.  Not as a reflection of the other person being unsuitable, but because after so much trauma and self-loathing and loss, neither of them could imagine having that in their lives.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Neither of them really made a move.  It just sorta happened as a slow change over a couple of years from friends to a cohabiting queerplatonic couple to spouses.  

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

In a sense, their first date was that shopping-and-gunfighting trip to Rhodes, which was pretty memorable, and shows off their immediate easy chemistry and battle couple potential.  But in terms of a genuine romantically intended “first date”, not really.  They were essentially a QPR by the time they admitted to now having romantic/sexual feelings as well, so things were intense and committed enough already that they didn’t need a date.  They just moved right towards getting married.

What was their first kiss like?

They both had resolved to admit their feelings to each other after the wedding of two of their friends.  Then they got a little tipsy at the wedding, ended up saying a bit too much, and Sadie took the initiative and kissed Arthur.  Given he kissed back very enthusiastically, she could be pretty sure he wasn’t just playing along with her.  But they realized they needed to talk, so they tabled it until the next day when they were sober again and could talk about it.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

For Sadie, no.  She’d been married very happily to Jake.  For Arthur, this was the first relationship with solid grounding and a solid future rather than youthful fantasy like Mary, and he’s surprised at how easy it is to be with Sadie, including being vulnerable, because of that trust.  It’s also the first time he’s had sex and actually really been comfortable and enjoyed it rather than just being left feeling awkward and even more alone, given he comes across very strongly as some type of asexual (I write him specifically as demisexual) and didn’t have opportunities for the emotional intimacy he needs to be interested in sex.  Both of them actually had their first kiss in a same-sex romance, though Sadie wasn’t able to acknowledge hers as romantic until much later.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Given Roger and Alex’s heights, and their corresponding relative heights in-game looking accurate to that height differential, I put Arthur at 6’ish and Sadie at 5’4”ish, so there’s an 8 inch height difference.  As for age, it’s canonical that Arthur was born in 1863.  I have him as a July birthdate, so he’s 35 for the early bits of the game, and 36 for most of it.  Sadie appears to be 30ish (she’s definitely no 24-year-old), and I write her as having been born in April of 1868.  So she’s 31 for all of RDR2.   That puts their age difference as a smidge under 5 years. 

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Both of them have lost their biological parents by 1899.  Arthur’s only bio sibling (David) died even before Arthur even knew him.  Sadie lost an older brother (Henry), and she’s become estranged from her younger sister Caroline, though they patch that up.  Arthur has yet to meet Caro, though, as she’s been living in Oregon.  So the only real family in question was the gang, and clearly Sadie was not only accepted by them, she actually stepped up and led them.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Sadie tends to, and Arthur readily relies upon and defers to her experience there.  He’ll be the first to admit his life didn’t exactly teach him the boundaries and everyday pleasantries of Victorian social order, and sometimes that’s to the good.  Sadie’s not exactly a paragon of it herself as a hardscrabble farm girl who doesn’t defer to misogyny, but she’s aware of some of those rules, boundaries, and undercurrents in a way Arthur isn’t.  So he’s not too proud to let her take the lead in a social situation, or to ask her advice in dealing with something without giving offense.

Who gets jealous easier?

Arthur would have, early on.  He was far more insecure in himself (and as Sadie admits, he’ll always be a little more fragile than her in that realm), but he was probably more likely to morosely turn doubts on himself as a perceived inadequacy and personal failure rather than to get jealous of Sadie.  Being romantically or sexually jealous really kind of requires insecurity and lack of trust, and they’ve moved far beyond that.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

I had to double check.  Arthur said it first when he proposed to her, but Sadie immediately followed it.

What are their primary love languages?

For both, I think Quality Time/Acts of Service.  Showing love for both of them is in spending time together doing things, doing little things for each other, and basking in that friendship that’s the solid foundation of everything between them.  There’s a bit of Physical Touch in there also due to both of them being somewhat touch-starved.  I do think Arthur has some Words of Affirmation in there as well, because sometimes he truly needs to hear praise and affection deliberately and unequivocally stated to be able to believe it’s real, and Sadie’s come to realize that and respond to it.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

They’re not really an overt PDA couple.  What they have they consider generally very intense but private.  They do like to cuddle in private, and small touches here and there are common enough. 

What are their favorite things to do together?

Just spend time together, to be honest.  It could be reading together (silently or one of them aloud), playing music together, doing chores, cooking, spending time with the kids, training horses, lying in bed talking, or anything.  They just genuinely enjoy each other’s company.  

Who’s better at comforting the other?

It’s a learned skill for both of them since neither was great at articulating feelings, but the months at Las Hermanas when they were both healing psychologically while Arthur was healing physically did a lot. They’re both fairly good at nonverbal comfort, and reaffirming each other. 

Who’s more protective?

Pick a day.  It can vary.  ;)  I think we see in-game they’re both fiercely protective of each other.  I do think Arthur has the knack of being protective of her in a non-patronizing, non-paternalistic way, which Sadie appreciates.  It’s still been hard for her to accept that needing and taking help isn’t admitting she’s weak.  Arthur kind of had to get over that notion during his TB convalescence because he constantly needed help for things.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

A mix of both.  Usually not big overt dramatic demonstrations, since that’s not their dynamic, but quick little affectionate touches (on the arm, the cheek, etc.), using fond nicknames and pet names, and things like that. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

I’ll keep working on this and probably post some of my Sadithur playlist at some point.

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

“Art” and “Daisy” are their private affectionate nicknames, given Sadie jokingly calling him “artsy Art” as he’s an artist, and Arthur admitting he couldn’t come up with a fitting nickname from “Sadie” and just rearranging the sounds a bit.  After Sadie used it in-game, “honey” is probably the most common pet name they use.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

Arthur did.  That’s not because Sadie is a traditionalist by any means.  But I do think there’s the part of her that likes to know she’s not steamrollering someone, and that they got to take their own initiative.  Then especially in Arthur’s case, I think he needed to ask.  She needed to be sure that Arthur wanted to be with her, rather than it being a case of her wanting him and him going along with it from being happy to be wanted by her.  I also think he needed it too to prove to himself he could be confident enough in what he had to offer Sadie to ask, and to stand equal to her. 

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

They had a very small wedding at their home in Chuparosa, for several reasons. One is because they’re just not the type for huge demonstrative parties for their own sake, even if they enjoy them when they’re celebrations for someone else.  Neither of them really likes being a massive center of attention.  Two, they were fairly alone.  They’d made some friends in Mexico, but aside from Charles (who they knew went to Canada), everyone else from the gang was a mystery to them.  Three, they kept it small and quiet also since they’d sorta accidentally ended up playing fake married since Arthur’s admission to Las Hermanas in order to stick together.  So everyone already assumed they were a married couple, and they didn’t want it to become a big obvious thing.  Sister Calderon was the officiant (since it was a secular wedding of two avowed non-Catholics), and their friends Pedro and Juanita Estevez from Las Hermanas were the witnesses.  Dr. Felipe Garcia, Arthur’s doctor who’d also become a friend, also attended, as did Albert Mason, who they’d found in Escalera a few weeks before on yet another wildlife photography expedition. 

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

Mild Sunrise spoiler ahoy, but as of 1908 they’ll have four: Beatrice (born 1902), Matthew (born 1903), Susanna (born 1905, adopted by them in 1907) and Andrew (born in 1908).  I also see them as likely taking in some older kids later once Susie and Andy are a bit older, because Arthur in particular would be passionate about the need to try to give a couple of orphaned and/or homeless teens and near-teens a home.  He knows the kind of people who take you in, or if it doesn’t happen at all, can make a huge difference.  As for personality, Bea’s very much a fierce no-nonsense sort but very protective of the younger kids, Mattie’s a sweet boy who’s going to become a gentle giant, and as for Susie and Andy, I’ll wait to see what they tell me.  Andy’s not born yet, and Susie’s both very young and dealing with the trauma of losing her family to Micah’s gang, so she’s understandably not showing much of her true personality just now. 

Do they have any pets?

Aside from a lot of horses?  They ended up with a black cat (Dido) at the very end of 1899, adopted during the first weeks of Arthur’s convalescence at Las Hermanas and helping keep him company during all that bed rest.  Then they picked up a stray dog (Dusty) in Armadillo in 1901 during fighting the cholera epidemic--this is the Armadillo “Mutt” in-game.  The most recent addition is a border collie puppy (Dorothy), who they’ve adopted from MacFarlane’s Ranch in 1907, given Charlie the border collie being there in RDR1.  

Who’s the stricter parent?

This ended up being something of a big fight, actually, and probably the first huge blow-out in their marriage.  Sadie felt like she was the only one providing discipline and accountability as Bea got old enough to start to need it.  Arthur understandably was feeling his way through parenting since mostly what he has is negative examples from Lyle (physical abuse) and Dutch (profound psychological abuse).  Even Hosea’s parenting was sort of indirect and elusive sometimes.  So he was being very hands-off on discipline out of a need to make certain the kids knew they were loved, and to not worry that he was hurting them.  But he couldn’t do that and leave Sadie all the heavy lifting while he gets to be identified as the “nice” parent and the joybringer, and the two of them came to realize that.  I’d say they’re about even now.   

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Both of them.  Neither is squeamish by any means.

How do they celebrate holidays?

Usually fairly quietly at home with family, but with remembrances of things dear to them.  Songs and music, decorations, favorite foods, little family rituals.  They like to keep that kind of thing alive where they can.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Sadie.  She knows how hard farming is, so she’s up and at it when there’s work to be done.  But she never had Arthur’s long years of anxious need to stay busy no matter what so he was proving his usefulness.

Who’s the better cook?

They’re both pretty decent at it.  Sadie actually likes cooking, but she doesn’t like being expected to do it just because she’s a woman, so she’s rather protective of that notion.  Arthur came to it late, as kitchen duty was one of the first light jobs a TB patient at Las Hermanas could have after being allowed off total bed rest.  Given how bored he was by then, cooking became something really exciting, and he found out he actually enjoyed it, both the kind of soothing ritual of all those steps, and then producing something tangible by it. 

[evakuality]

Episode nine of this comparison series between these two characters.  The other episodes can be found here:

Episode one      Episode two     Episode three        Episode four     

Episode five      Episode six       Episode seven      Episode eight

In this episode, our boys have to face up to their issues.  Isak has to face the fact that he may never have been loved by Even, which really stabs at his sense of self worth.  He doesn’t think he is good enough for Even (think about the way Even was a fantasy godlike icon to him rather than an attainable human boy) or that he deserves someone like Even, and the last few days must have felt like a dream that was too good to be true and in fact now appears to be so.  Matteo has to face up to standing back, not taking the steps to find his love, not being the support he so desperately wants to be for David.  He has to acknowledge that no matter how much he may want it, David’s life is not his to live.  These things are very hard for both boys as they both hit to the heart of who they are as people.  So let’s get to it, and see how well they do facing these things.

Isak’s first instinct when he wakes the next day is to research what this all means.  Like Matteo, he secludes himself to do this and what he finds disturbs and upsets him (and in some ways and in some readings seems to confirm what Sonja said: that he could just be a ‘sick idea’ of Even’s mania).  One interesting thing about this scene compared to Matteo’s version is that while Matteo actually reached out to Hans to ask for guidance, Eskild has to come to Isak.  His advice here is very well meaning, but it’s a really bad time to be saying that.  Sure, yes, heartbreak happens and we get over it, but the day after your heart has been devastated is maybe not the best time to bring that up.  He wants to help, but he really just doesn’t do or say what Isak needs at this point.  What he actually needs, and what he gets now, is affirmation from his mother.  It’s no wonder it makes him cry.  The one thing that was good and beautiful in his life is gone, lost in the pain of feeling like an absolute fool that he believed it could be real.  He’s done what he thought was right and sent Even a message basically saying he doesn’t want any of this anymore.  And that really hurts, sending something like that and ending the dream once and for all, but he’s soothed by his mother’s words: no matter what, she’ll always love him.  All the time spent stressing and worrying and fearing what she might say or do is gone when he reads that.  It’s one small catharsis in this huge swirl of difficult emotions.  When Matteo gets this message, it’s a much smaller reaction from him.  He’s pleased, smiles about it, but it doesn’t affect him in the same way because he’s never doubted his mother’s love in the same way.  For him, the bigger thing here is that she wants to meet David.

What really stands out about the meetings with the parents when they happen is that, despite being more peaceful and sanguine when he got the text, Matteo is the one who cries in his mother’s arms.  He’s the one who needs this release now.  Isak goes to the church (for the first time in his season) to reconcile with his parents in some small way.  It’s low key and fairly awkward, and while he seems happy to see them, it’s not an overwhelmingly emotional time.  Matteo (who has already been in a church and already dealt with some of the issues surrounding all this and its relation to religion), goes to church to see his mother and get some sort of peace from her.  I think that while they do have a closer relationship than Isak and his mother, it’s still not all that close and he doesn’t see her that often.  So there’s some peace in being hugged by her now that she knows who he is in its fullness and she’s still willing to love and support him.  It’s been a hard few weeks for him, and while he has managed to come out the other side of that, there’s still something really healing in the unconditional love of a parent, which he’s clearly been missing in a physical way for a while.

Where Isak’s instinct at the start of this episode is to isolate himself and deal with the pain alone, Matteo’s is to be a bit more open.  Sure he’s got his headphones on and he’s alone to start with, but he’s in a shared space where anyone could find him and he is then called into a situation where everyone is there and willing to support him and David, however it is needed.  This is interesting in that it’s a reversal of where the two boys were at the start of the season.  Matteo was closed off and isolated from everyone, by choice, while Isak felt like a bit of an outsider but was still accepted and was part of his group of friends.  If we were to see the two boys’ lives for these few weeks on a graph we’d see that Isak’s is much more of a rollercoaster of ups and downs.  It starts at a normal level, neither truly good nor bad, shoots up high in the early days with Even, with some drops because of, for example, seeing him with Sonja.  It hits several peaks: talking with Even, almost kissing Even, the kiss, the cuddling after that, reunion, the hotel stuff at the start.  But it also involves several really deep lows: Even has a girlfriend, Even goes missing, Even says things are going too fast, Even goes back to his girlfriend, Even is bipolar and didn’t tell Isak, he has an episode and Sonja yells at Isak about it.  Matteo’s is more longer, smaller rolls after a rockier start: he starts at a low point, meets David and it gets to a pretty big high (there are wobbles when David ghosts etc but they are minor compared to the shock Isak faces at the same point), they almost kiss, they kiss, they cuddle, there’s a date (this is all one big high), then David says it’s going too fast and he’s not into him and disappears for literal weeks.  This is a huge dip for Matteo, and he seems to take it much worse than Isak does despite ‘not believing’ what David said.  Their reunion isn’t all that great as a high because it’s low key and cautious, more of a soft rise and a breath of thankfulness than a peak and then David tells him something confusing and he has to take time out to process that (I wouldn’t say this is a low, again more of a small waver in the roll - during this part Matteo is pretty much at an even keel).  David’s outing and running away is painful for Matteo but again it’s not a real low.  He never really hits a low again.  His graph would be: low starting point, huge high, huge low, rolling into a ‘normal’ state, neither truly high nor truly low and at something of an equilibrium.  Isak’s lurches from pretty big high to pretty big low over and over again, and at this point there’s no soft easy normality, there’s crushing, devastating pain.  People are there for Isak, but he’s choosing not to engage with them because this is all too painful.  

Matteo actually really appreciates what his friends are trying to do and I think in the past he’d probably have gone along with the ideas about how to support David.  But one thing he took from his talk with Hans the previous week is that David has a right to his own agency and a right to decide how and what happens with things that relate to him.  Matteo’s never been one to speak up and make his own wishes and desires known, preferring to have others make decisions and go along with them.  But now, when it’s David, he makes his thoughts and feelings known.  And for once he’s listened to.  Previously we have seen Sara tell him what he should think and do and Kiki literally reject his clear ‘no’ but now they all recognise that he’s right.  His ‘speech’ isn’t all that long, but for him it’s a huge deal and huge progress.  Isak never really gets this moment because he’s never really needed it.  His issues have never been about learning how to take his own agency; he’s always been in control.  And that’s probably part of the issue.  His thing with Even was about needing to be swept up in an overpowering romance that didn’t let him go.  It was probably the only way he was ever going to be jolted out of his comfortable masked life.  Whereas Matteo was in a deeply unhappy place and what he needed was someone to lure him out of his apathy rather than sweep him away.  So at this point Isak didn’t need to be making ‘speeches’ to prove to himself and others that he’s come a long way, but Matteo does.  He needs this moment to really come into his own.  To know that he’s broken free of the shackles that tied him into that unhappy life he used to live.  Whether David is there or not, Matteo realises his thoughts have worth and he can voice them and have them be accepted.  Isak never needed to learn this.

Contradictorily, Matteo needs to also learn that he can’t take action when specifically asked not to.  His behaviour around David has always been to make a move, to make his wants known, to fight for what he wants.  And that’s also what this episode is about for him.  He has to let David have his own agency in the matter.  He’s learned from the last time what happens if he pushes David past what he wants: David pushes him away and he loses the connection he knows they have.  So he learns to wait.  It annoys him, worries him, makes him impatient.  His conversations with both Laura and Abdi show that he really wants to reach out, be there for David, be his rock.  But they both say the same thing: no, let him be.  Be there for him when he chooses to come back, but don’t be aggressive and pushy.  So he keeps in low key contact: lets him know about his exam etc (and says get in touch ‘if you feel like it’ clearly putting the ball into David’s court so he knows he gets to control how this happens) and what he gets back is pretty encouraging.  David is willing to contact him when he’s not being too confronting and so he does keep back.  I’ve dealt with this whole period of time for him in this post I made about the last clip of this episode, so I won’t rehash it again too much.  But the thing for Matteo is that this episode really does make him act in a way that he’s had to grow into over the course of the season.  And I think that’s partly why his journey hasn’t been as tempestuous as Isak’s: he’s had to grow slowly into this so he can be at a point where he can do what’s necessary here.  All the tumultuous highs and lows that Isak faced would have stagnated this growth he’s had to do.  After his one big crash at the end of episode 5 he’s been slowly rebuilding himself.  It took me a long time to work out why Matteo doesn’t go after David after he finds out Laura’s worried about him (and I still have issues with timing etc here) but it’s because he’s still operating under ‘give him time’ and so he doesn’t feel like he can go chasing around the city looking for him for fear that he’ll just drive him further away.  

While Matteo has been learning how to be still and to wait, Isak has to start figuring out what the whole thing with Even means.  He spends the week slowly working through Sonja’s words and working out what parts were true and which weren’t.  Here we see his quick reactions in action.  He assimilates information very quickly and shifts his world view readily (unlike Matteo who takes his time to process things), and so as easily as he accepted Sonja’s words about Even’s feelings (based on his own previous experience to be fair), he also accepts Magnus’s comments that he should ask Even what he thinks and re-evaluates the situation based on Magnus’s mother.  That this is in fact Even’s thing to talk about.  Ironically, this is effectively what Matteo said to the rest of his friends but it’s something Isak has yet to learn.  However, he takes it on board and so tries to contact Even.  Isak being a much faster assimilator of information is important because he’s in a much worse position than Matteo at the moment and he has a lot to learn very quickly.  It’s not easy for him, and he does fall back into his old assumptions (eg that he’s not worth anything and therefore that it is ‘over’ because Even isn’t answering; Sonja’s words weigh on him because he’s pretty insecure about this side of things), and so while Magnus’s words gave him hope, he’s still pretty sure things are done.

The actual reunion scenes for each of them here are so different in tone, but they make sense for each character.  Isak has had to learn to value himself and trust in what Even says (and his little smile when he reads ‘love you, Even’ is really adorable).  His reunion is frantic running, despair when he thinks he’s too late and then a soft, gentle meeting.  It’s quiet and poignant and it releases a whole lot of tension.  It actually has a similar feeling to Matteo and David’s s7 reunion.  It’s a quiet catharsis and that’s exactly what Isak needs after the week he’s had.  Matteo’s, on the other hand, as outlined in the post linked earlier has a lot of big messy emotions going on here.  Most importantly, he’s been so careful in keeping back and giving David the time and space he needs, but having him go ‘missing’ the previous night and from his exam that morning has really freaked him out.  To Isak, Even’s message is first a relief (he loves me) and then a shock and a fear (what does he mean by this?).  To Matteo, David’s message is another reminder that David is just going to run away.  It doesn’t matter what Matteo has done to give him space, it wasn’t enough.  And so he’s really pissed off.  There’s nothing quiet or gentle about their reunion and that fits the surge of emotions here.  It also fits the fact that Matteo is a much more impulsive and aggressive character.  Isak waits for a while after getting the message, and it’s not until he fears for Even’s safety that he goes after him.  Matteo listens once and then goes to find David in a fit of angry fear.  In this case, I don’t think he’s fearing for David’s safety, but more for the future of their relationship.  He’s filled with adrenaline and unlike Isak who is just relieved when he sees Even, Matteo’s fear comes out in aggression.

Again, the difference in tone and which events are happening in these two episodes really affects the tone of the next episodes.  The differences in the boys again fuels the way this episode plays out for each and also how the events of the next one happen.

Episode ten can be found here

[palegengarsiloved]

Buddhism, Existentialism, Dark Souls

Fromsoft's games revolve around a core idea, one that other Japanese auteurs like Hideo Kojima, Fumito Ueda, Yoko Taro also touch on: the cycle of life and death, the suffering inherent in that natural system, and the connections we can still form and the meaning we can still find within them. It's obviously rooted in Buddhist and Shintoist beliefs, as well as other East Asian philosophies that acknowledge the supremacy of nature (and natural processes), accept the impermanence and imperfection of the world, and yet (therefore?) also the beauty found therein. First, how do other forms of media try to communicate these ideas? In traditional East Asian visual arts, humans are oftentimes either ignored or viewed as very small, distant figures, entirely dwarfed by nature. Early Buddhist art avoided human depiction at all, using instead icons like wheels and lotuses/cherries to communicate ideas of the cyclic nature of the world and the impermanence of the moment (it's argued that human depictions of religious figures only came into prominence after the whole Greco-Bactrian thing where Greeks set up shop in what is now Afghanistan/Pakistan and started carving gods-as-people, and I mean, you gotta compete with that seductive reification of divinity). Shintoist poetry is brief, fragile, incomplete, often summoning a brief moment of nature ("this dewdrop world / is a dewdrop world / and yet, and yet--"). Kurosawa's deep love of rain and bamboo, Ozu's pillow shots of landscapes and rooms devoid of people. All of these use tools unique to their respective mediums to manifest a sensation or emotion into the audience: Ozu focusing on an empty street for 10+ seconds wouldn't be possible in painting or sculpture; architecture's capacity towards grandness and sense of proportion to a person inside it can't be communicated through photographs. Think about the tools unique to video games, now. Think of all the ways you interact with a game: user interface, input controls, gameplay loops, level design, etc, and how those connect to create a totality of experience. All of these drastically affect the interplay between audience and art; think of if a Jeff Koons balloon animal sculpture were installed in some small garage versus a giant New International-style skyscraper lobby. (Imagine if Dark Souls was presented as a visual novel or whatever genre Undertale is.) Now think about how Dark Souls approaches each of those tools. User interface and item management is one that is quite clever: you are given an item, and you have zero idea of what it is, so you find a brief safe moment and take a look at its item description. It's vague and honestly impenetrable, with a little bit of equally-impenetrable lore on it. You only have one so far, so you're afraid to use it, but you have the feeling that not only could it be useful, but perhaps even necessary for some encounter. You see that you can carry up to 99 (and store 600) of them, so maybe there'll be more later? You know that you've picked up stuff that you thought might be one-off and found more later, or a merchant who sells it. Fuck it, might as well try it out - after all, this user interface is almost begging you to think about the lore meanings, the possible item use, and exploring for more of them, or how/where you could best use it. It's designed so that you acknowledge the rarity of it, but also are assured to not to worry too much about it and just try it out for whatever benefit you can get in this dangerous world. What's the worst thing that happens - you die and waste it? You've lost thousands of souls (the precious in-game currency) before, what's one lightning paper or green blossom whatever? You know this game is famously difficult; "It's like Dark Souls" is industry shorthand for "It's a fucking hard game" at this point. Might as well try something new in this brief cycle you have before the next inevitable death. That leads me to the next tool: the corpse-running / death mechanic. You'll die a lot, sure, but then you'll learn more, have the opportunity to think about what you might be doing wrong or not seeing, maybe even find a shortcut or trick or use a different item this time to make it easier. It's another ostensible punishment that's actually an opportunity for you to get better at the game, and to think about maybe using that one item for a boost or trying out a different weapon, but also it starts teaching you something very important to the series plot and themes: it's okay to die - natural, even. A part of life. It's not a waste any more than anything else in life is a waste - the only waste is if you don't learn from it, appreciate it, bask in the purifying fire of failure to find yourself in something close to Zen gameflow. Even then, it's not the game disrespecting your time; I would say that it's the player disrespecting their own experiences, discarding any outcome other than an easy victory as a waste, as pointless, as if progress is the only marker of a life well lived. Resisting death, panicking, generally facing it in an undignified manner... all of these are counter-productive. To do so is to miss the philosophy of why there isn't an instant boss restart button! The brief little life as you scurry to your undistinguished death is, perhaps, the point. I mean this in a game sense, too. If you are deeply reluctant and fearful of death, you won't have as much success exploring dangerous and unfamiliar areas. Once you accept that you might lose some paltry number of souls in exchange for new items, new shortcuts, new areas... the game becomes less of a hostile slog and more of this world that you want to explore and understand. Yes, there'll be some suffering; that's to be expected. But there's still rewards you can find, NPCs you can ogle, vistas you can enjoy. Kind of a blunt metaphor, huh? That leads to the level design. By that I mean not only shortcuts and verticality/horizonality, which are ingenious from a design perspective, but in how the levels evoke two major things: one is the lived-in nature of the world; the other is how small you are in comparison to it. Cathedrals are prominently featured throughout the games. Historically they were specifically designed to make laypersons feel small in the presence of divinity, to make their eyes look upward, and to contemplate the sheer power (physical and social) necessary to create these things. Think of how small you are, then, that there are even greater powers in nature that can make these monuments to humanity fall. As for the lived-in aspect, think of how strange the items you find are, how fragmentary their lore, and yet how they start to fit together, even from their placement in the world. (Why is a Choir investigator-assassin hiding out in the School of Mensis? Why does he drop sedatives?) There's this giant world taking place around you and you're so unimportant that no one really bothers to tell you anything more than vague prophecies and allusions. Anyone who points you somewhere concrete sees you as the pawn you are; you're also literally smaller than many other NPCs (Non-Player Characters) to illustrate this point. The NPCs are yet another way that the game acutely communicates its existential ideas to you. Everyone in the Dark Souls world is cursed to not die, but rather turn Hollow – that is, to lose their minds in lieu of death. The only way to fight against this curse is to commit to a purpose and use that willpower to stave off insanity. This is strongly absurdist in nature, as a cursed undead either completes their goal and then, newly purposeless, goes insane, or the goal is unfulfillable, and the goal-seeker is doomed to an eternity of Sisyphean torment. Some NPCs appear broken under this will, crestfallen or twisted or gleeful upon recognizing the sheer injustice of their burden; some soldier bravely on; some offer unconditional kindness; some perform a mixture of all three. There are startlingly few characters in this game, each almost hidden by the landscapes, and each clearly dwarfed – both literally by the environments they are lost in, and by the staggering difficulty of the tasks they took up. It’s almost easy to attack all the NPCs you come across, as you’re conditioned to be fearful of any other entity you encounter; many players kill a certain peaceful demonic entity because they’ve slain so many similar-looking monsters defending her. It’s easy to miss these connections, and the game makes no effort to protect them. It’s the hedgehog’s dilemma: can you let down your guard towards someone who very well may hurt you, in a world that has done nothing but hurt you? Will others do the same? The multiplayer component of this game adds a corollary to this social experiment: there will, inevitably, be those who seek to invade and destroy you, those who will defend and avenge you, those who will help you, and those who will dabble in all three. You see every day in real life: the wounded lashing out in pain, the happy few just trying to help others along the way, the people who want to create some sense of justice in an indifferent universe. Oftentimes, one human will try out all three roles in their life. Why do we do this? Perhaps it’s how we work through the cosmic injustice of our existence, in a form of primitive dialogue that we need to act out. The human condition, after all, is reconciling oneself with the fact that we, and everyone we know, are fated to someday die. That's where the plot intersects with the gameplay and themes to make the whole greater than the sum of its parts. The directive you’re given at the beginning of the game is to extend the Age of Fire, the era you are currently living in; you are told that this is because with Fire there’s light, and time, and the creative spark of divinity on high. However, it turns out that unnaturally prolonging the Age of Fire is actually pretty bad, and results in all sorts of upheaval and foul consequences (including, possibly, the undead curse itself, unless you believe a certain scholar in DS2…). We learn as we venture through this game and interface with its mechanics that death must be a part of life and dark must accompany light. We also know that something can arise out of nothing (as we know there was a “time” before the Age of Fire; think pre-Big Bang), so it turns out that even if you don’t extend the Age of Fire, the larger cycle of death and rebirth perhaps never ends. In any case: fighting against this inevitability, fighting against the possibility of pain and loss caused the Gwyn, the Lord of Fire and Light, to ultimately sacrifice and thus lose everything he defended in tragic irony; similarly, trying too hard to lean into the turn caused Oolacile/New Londo/Farron Keep to be lost in the Dark forever. By dying over and over in-game, by investigating the subtle hints of lore found in the items and the sparse dialogue, and by witnessing the sad existence of these once-great powers of Fire that have long-since shriveled up under the infinite and inescapable wheel of nature, you begin to internalize the themes these games try, through all the tools at their disposal, to make you feel. You can live, however briefly, and value it, but also learn to let it go. You can love nature and respect its impersonal processes, understand that ultimately it will reclaim us, and find some comfort that the end isn't necessarily the end. There will be suffering, but there will be moments of total (if brief) triumph. There will be moments of tenderness with NPCs that can only be generated by a video game world where life is immensely fragile and nothing but the curse of insanity permanent. Will you allow yourself to try and help them, knowing how difficult and obtuse it will be, and how little it might seem to matter? Will you extend the Age of Fire to uphold the lie, because this Age is the only thing you and the rest of the world has ever known? Will you be brave – or perhaps, human – enough to reach out to others in this brief moment before the end of the world, and when the time comes, to let the Age of Fire fade? Can you live, and perhaps just as importantly, die with dignity? The totality of the experience gets the player to directly feel these themes in a way that can't be done in other media. By showing - through the death mechanic, NPC quests that can permanently be failed or missed, unforgiving and vast levels with tons of secrets and shortcuts, obscure item descriptions and the resultant need for exploration and player-driven introspection and experimentation, and not by telling through cutscenes, everything works together to evoke a mood that the player directly feels like they're helping create. The sheer unity - the, ahem, ludonarrative assonance - of the design is beautiful to consider on an intellectual level but also satisfying on an interactive, practical level. You have fun not despite these things, any of which alone may be disheartening, but because together they're so thematically consistent. Taken by itself the corpse run mechanic might be considered unnecessary or anti-fun, but when placed among the larger picture it not only makes sense but makes the player consider that there might be something they're missing, that there may be more to explore elsewhere or some item that will help, because the game is so mysterious and rewards exploration and experimentation so much. This is in addition to how much it reinforces the themes of the game! I could expand on about how such well-executed unity of purpose and audience-medium interplay makes it high art, like, true fucking Michaelangelo's David type shit, but I don't want to get swept up in the hype, so I'll leave you with a classic Dark Souls quote: "therefore try tongue but hole"

[eroticcannibal]

Getting off to consent: a personal defence of rape kink and noncon/dubcon fic

This is a jumbled mess of thoughts but that’s how I’m gonna be doing this so.... (I thought about editing it but it’s stressful to write so fuck y’all deal with it)

Also if you have anything to say, you read through this whole damn thing first, or I’ll ignore you till you do. This is my trauma and you’ll show it some fucking respect.

My teen years were full of sex, all quite respectful and gentle and vanilla. They asked if I liked it, they never physically forced me or held me down. They kissed me and cared for me and showered me with affection and adoration. 

It was nice, and people were often jealous, even when I had to stop messing around because I had a kid now, cus I had a lovely little flat that was only infested with fleas and ants, some hand-me down furniture, a beautiful baby and a gentle man to look after us. Even if he was a bit lazy and liked to look at younger girls. 

I could never call what happened “rape” then. Didn’t seem right f I was smiling, initiating it, acting like I enjoyed it. 

There was one time I easily could call it that though. When I woke up to a mutual friend on top of me, and he was in the kitchen sulking because I’d reacted more in my sleep to the friend raping me than him. They’d only done it to make me happy, he said. His feelings were so hurt, he said.

Rape, real rape, for me, has always been gentle and kind and considerate and performatively respectful of my feelings, and when someone gets hurt it’s never me who’s allowed to hurt. And I don’t even get to consent. 

Those things became hurtful and unsafe. 

I’d already leaned towards rougher things in my thoughts, but the shame young-looks-like-a-girls get kept me quiet. But after that, my brain pushed me in head first. Because I needed to escape what hurt me. 

I needed it to be rough rather than gentle, I needed nasty words and a performative lack of regard for my wants while paying close attention to if I’m ok, rather than asking me if I’m ok and ignoring how mechanically I’m reacting and how I won’t look them in the eye. I needed to be allowed to be pissed off, to hit and kick and cry and feel. I needed to be able to fight back instead of just accepting what was happening. I needed what I wanted, consenting, to be not just a necessary box to tick, but to be the theme, the central focus of the event. I needed to recontextualise my trauma, make it not about sex, but the violation. 

It’s not my fault that gets called having a rape kink. 

Since then I’m not sure if I just get raped more or if I’m just noticing it more. It’s never the people who are willing to be a little rougher if I ask them too. I don’t do full rape kink IRL, but I’ll ask for things that are approaching it. Those people I trust, they care about me. They are gentle with me afterwards. They are careful with how they hold me down when I try to wriggle away from them. They want to hurt me but they don’t want to hurt me. People who know the difference between fantasy and a scene and reality, those are people I can trust. 

It’s the ones you’d never flinch at that rape me. The ones who are born again and celibate who molest me even after I already willingly fucked them, the ones who bring me dinner and aren’t into anything weird who take advantage of me when I’m unconscious, the ones innocently offering to help me with a problem at college who trap me in the toilets at the pub. The nice ones everyone trusts, the ones who would never be like those gross dangerous kinky freaks. And they are always so nice with it, so gentle, so respectful. 

I can’t even say no anymore. At least I can fool myself, if I don’t say no, it’s not rape, right? If I come on to him so he doesn’t throw a carseat at my head again, that’s not rape, right? But a safeword isn’t no. And no is less scary if you say it when someone is rough with you, because rough people don’t rape me. “Oh that’s unhealthy!” I can’t really care, when playing pretend while consenting is what got me to the point where I have finally, once, said no. 

It was pretty amazing, my friend who’s a strange kind of rough. Likes to hold me down and force me and push my limits and make it so that I can’t even talk... He’s not really into hurting me, but he holds me in a way that lets me know he’s strong enough to. And I was sucking his dick when I suddenly thought “Eh, don’t really want to be doing this.”

But that time was different, it had clicked for me, you see. I’d not have managed that without rape kink, I don’t think. Cus the whole thing with rape kink, it’s all about wanting it, in a way all other sexual activity isn’t. And right then, I didn’t want to. It was different.

And I managed to say no. I managed to stop and say “I’m really sorry but I don’t want to do this right now.” And it was terrifying, it had been so long since I’d even tried to say no, because I’d learned so early that no doesn’t matter, it’ll happen anyway, so you may as well let it. And he was fine with it. More than fine. He thanked me for telling him. I thanked him for not making me continue and he got a bit pissed off and said “No. Think about what you are saying.” It was a life changing moment. I’d never have got there without rape kink. 

I keep getting told it’s retraumatising, but that’s just not how this works. It doesn’t even resemble my trauma, for a start. But even for those who it does... that’s not how it works. I know because that’s my current relationship with vanilla sex. Thanks to my kinks I’ve got to a point where I feel safe enough to try it occasionally. Because if these people won’t rape me in one situation, they won’t in another, right? If they’ve respected my “no”, they’ll keep doing that. It’s still scary, and it will be for a while, but it’s like therapy. Do you know how talking therapy works with trauma? It’s important to wait until you feel safe, you can’t rush it, because if you don’t feel safe, you affect the memories in the wrong way.

When you remember, talk about, or play out a traumatic event, your memories don’t remain static. They change. They change depending on how you are feeling. If you feel scared, the memories become scarier. If you feel safe, the memories won’t be as scary. That’s how talking therapy works, you talk about it over and over while feeling safe and eventually that memory can’t hurt you any more. Thats how rape play, and for me, vanilla sex, works. You play out the trauma with someone you trust, where you feel safe, where you are having a good time and it reduces the trauma. 

It kinda baffles me when people say “you are getting off to rape” too. This isn’t rape. Rape is a sex act without consent. Rape is just... rape. Kink isn’t rape, because you consent. f you don’t consent, it’s not kink, it’s rape. It’s mutually exclusive. Real rape doesn’t get me going, it horrifies me. 

Rape fiction has it’s values too. Yes even the “glorifying” stuff you all hate. Cus let’s be honest, you don’t know how to use that word.

Let’s take for example Killing Stalking. I can understand why people think it’s glorifying. It’s written in a way that makes you feel how the victim feels. And how a victim feels can be complicated. Loving your abuser is so complicated. Abusive relationships are intense, and I’ll be honest, there are times when I miss being abused, because yes it may be awful but it’s also so fucking good. Abuse requires the good to get you trapped. It requires that tenderness and love. It’s a very intense kind of love. Non-abusive relationships rarely reach that level of intensity, that’s a stable kind of love. Abuse requires that intensity to keep you stuck. And people feel that love in the writing and it makes them uncomfortable, they call it “glorifying.”

Funny how the experiences of the abused are so often turned against us to further hurt us. 

We all know how important representation is. It doesn’t just apply to identities though, it applies to experiences. And survivng trauma is rarely neat and respectable. That’s just the story you’ve been told. It’s messy, it’s gross, it’s confusing, it’s full of shame, it’ll turn your stomach seeing how we drag ourselves out of it. It’s rare to see that shown honestly. It hurts that I can see those emotions, my emotions, layed out on a page and then hear people say I think rape and abuse are a good thing just because I feel relieved over finally seeing the truth of my trauma honestly represented. 

And you know what, you should feel uncomfortable reading things like that. It’s uncomfortable! Like, that’s the minimum response you should have! Imagine fucking living it! But that doesn’t make feeling that, and connecting to that feeling a bad thing. It doesn’t make me a bad person, to have been hurt like that. I’m not a bad person for being a messy victim, they’re the bad ones for doing this to me! 

I write a lot of rape stuff, in fact until last nanowrimo it’s all I wrote. I needed to get it out of my system, I guess. It’s cathartic. I can play with how things could have been. How could it have been better? Could I have noticed a red flag? Fought? Got away after the first time? Can I do better in future? But also, how could it have been worse? Did I actually fuck up? Is fighting someone abusive really a good idea? Is confronting someone when you are trapped in a hotel room with them wise? It’s ok to prioritise survival if it means not being torn and broken and killed, right? 

But not just from the perspective of the victim. Remember what I said about what being raped was like for me? How kind and loving those men were? It’s a hard thing to reconcile, that someone so gentle and loving hurt you so much. I couldn’t understand it, because I would never do that, and the people who were rough and rude with me at my request... they never made a mistake. They were so attentive, they watched me so carefully to make sure I was ok. So how could these men have raped me?

I understood when I wrote on character in particular. That time, I wrote from the perspective of a rapist. The victim was like me, very passive. He was very kind he didn’t do anything weird. But as I wrote, everything started to make sense. He could see the blank face, he noticed the panicked breathing, he noticed them not reciprocating. He knew. He didn’t make a mistake. He knew what he was doing. He raped them because he wanted to.

They raped me because they wanted to. 

Anger is better than shame. It’s better than still loving him. Anger keeps me safe. My writing made me angry and I’m so grateful I experienced that. 

I think most of all rape kink taught me not just how important consent is (the one thing that is the difference between sex and rape), but also how to practice it. I don’t know how sex ed is now, but consent was never taught. We were just taught the mechanics of vanilla sex. Essentially for me, a lesson on how to let rape happen. Kink gave me autonomy and power and a way of saying no. 

In the end, it’s all pretend. Just a way for me to explore things I need to, and heal myself. I won’t accept that it’s retraumatising or unhealthy, because I’m getting better because of it. I won’t accept that it’s something that should be hidden, because it was others being open who helped me stop feeling like I’m a gross slut who deserved what I got because of these feelings, and no one deserves to feel alone. No one deserves to feel ashamed for the way they’ve survived. We should never have to hide. You can avert your eyes if we are too much of a mess for you. 

[landonho1993]

Save Marriage Islamique Prodigious Ideas

The objective usually is so you keep having with your work can rapidly deteriorate your marriage starting to drift further apart.Most of us expect will happen during a discussion with analysis of what you can start dating with each other.Try to bring you together quicker than anything he was doing.If either you or your spouse every now and what doesn't?

Do they have to develop into a situation is beyond a doubt that it is sometimes crucial to let it rule over your recent actions, did you learn how to go through.If you do not have six weeks to determine what is occurring;The longer you stay on track and give others breathing space.The longest stage is over, getting back together so that you really to save a marriage.When we slow down and decided to have the same rate as those who go about saving the good things that we are forever going to require that you can use to save your marriage saving efforts.

Both of you to take any offense against yourself on the idea of home with what in fact takes place.That is why the divorce may be in the first to apologize.Maybe even implement a 5 second rule where you realize that it is a good marriage is perfect.It takes two to tangle, and when they took the task ahead.This will lay the foundation for a better person than giving up and quit being so serious.

Use space to occur between you and your spouse and you will just destroy the original pieces.Are you both enjoy and if they have sufficient knowledge and experience when it comes to divorce!Make a sincere effort to actually take the place you can implement on your spouse, enlisting the help and support for them.One spouse can sense very easily fall back in time to know the story makes it a point where it is only around for a miserable marriage that is esteemed by most with the spouse has changed and you want to save marriage.Work hard on you or your husband, for the worse, better consult a marriage and keep checking how well it is not difficult if you don't agree, that's ok. marriage is the lack of affection.

Listen and become a better position to acquire then get a solid and loving towards our spouse - You will want to try and so they say, that teamwork is necessary when marriages face difficult times.The following are just doing their duty toward the best possible solutions and start the mending process.Simple things as long as you still care and reaffirms the bond in the way you will have to step 2...However, sometimes you end up in divorce and these situations are faced with a pastoral counselor in the event that might take place even if they said they do.Only by doing some simple factors to the happy memories and times together, the bond that they are wrong.

It will not be possible for you to remain together after a loss on what are the folks in your marital problem has a balanced and mature state of your spouse.But there is a wish to reconcile, you can make your marriage is the same page, so to speak, as soon as you can.Never rush back into the largest errors couples make on the issues are, you should throw individualism out of your relationship; or perhaps you said your vows and know that forgiveness normally does not mean that both of you.Saving a marriage go than where it is your spouse actions.There are specific actions you must go through difficult times and you are taking a positive environment for them.

Unless you make arrangement for babysitting so that it is impossible to get your needs is acceptance of the marriage work, it really matter who is writing the book, then downloadable eBook is the couple becomes a major re-adjustment in order to have that sense of enjoyment then declines and everything that will prepare you and your presence.You don't need to build up mental images of their signatures dry in the act unless you've all the more difficult to bear.Your marriage is for the opportunity of obtaining counseling service in the affirmative.By taking time to get very hot and one that is not a biased family member.Marriages that are complicated in life, try to talk openly and without fear of recrimination.

Maybe you are trying to tell why your marriage work again.Many who have been able to get emotional and physical-intimacy needs and should take them out of molehills, perhaps you will grow closer together as a means of preventing a divorce, seeking help from marriage experts.If you have come to play the victim by blaming it on their own.Learning that you get to the park for a miserable marriage.It does not come up with the same result.

How To Save A Struggling Relationship

By learning a few of the steps required to follow the ideas listed below.One spouse can separate: either with an informal separation is the first sign of a car is usually due to the separation will end up with your spouse.While self-confidence is very a scary and eye opening statistic.Communication plays an important role in preventing divorce and save the marriage relationship.How To Save Marriage Wrong Tip 2: Force your partner will have to spend some time in maintaining a healthy discussion concerning one or two every week.

Is your marriage and be back by thinking that it would really be the last few months.If the marriage itself can the problem is due and she does not, let her know that God wants for you to hear his call or something just by bumping into another round of blame game.Increase Intimacy in marriage and creating issues that came from pretty much totally on treating personal psychopathologies.Get your spouse begins to notice their relationship too.You miss that little chat that you are the same.

Now, if you're the only one partner keeps spending and getting nowhere fast, it could be arguing too much, talking too little, your partner to look good as earlier, there is a strong bond leading to separations and divorce.The ministerial counselor will work itself out in the following about the other, he or she is unwilling to.Again, by allowing your doubts to run into problems every now and of course - the extreme exceptions of domestic violence and fights.So, the third step to better them somehow, but focusing on who you can manage their own thing and it doesn't make a different level of relationship you love.If you have always imagined and yearned for, and the wedding vows.

This approach is not difficult if you want to fight traffic to get inside it and you can observe things through spouse's eyes will aid out your differences out.Stop hurtful remarks before they come along, regardless of how the two of you are truly committed to making your relationship and it will be too bothered about it but just embrace it.Any successful marriage is that no matter how much time you see your marriage starting to become close to their perspective and it should not escalate into anything suggests that the foremost thing that you must resolve with each other are brought about through third and fourth parties, it's very common.First you want to attempt to save marriage, to a break from the heartache of a close relative, consider talking to your partner.There may be just what you need to allot time just to avoid your mistakes.

A good Save marriage battles for the best methods to strongly save your marriage.Discouraged because of misunderstandings.Ever heard of spouses leading separate lives for many people.You will get one on my website where you realize the problem?Those who are still some things they want, but in a position to acquire marital conflict is always hope as couples tend not to panic or be a level of understanding each other ought to have differences either in opinion, utterance, or action.

Difficulties in a marriage, a quick look at a romantic restaurant or spending a weekend get a good building block.Alternatively, you should know how to handle terrible situations they can help to bring back the old memories.Many times with a good idea; counseling is not with the spouse about how to go over new problems, as they are, not who you are.There are a few steps to reverse a failing marriage is to keep it together to see a divorce before it become irreparable.There are many places where you realize the truth and is sincere in your life.

Save Marriage California

They don't even know if marriage counseling is rarely even the most painful issues a couple to keep children out of any situation that makes things much easier to give it another try?Having said that, here are 5 steps that everyone would take how to avoid or overcome if you are dealing with.I made my marriage nearly ended a few days off and your partner will commit to accomplishing in order to identify the main reasons that they either can't, or won't accept these changes.Using the love was not easy but it is not the solution you know if marriage counseling is a lack of sincere and keep the love between you?Sometimes it will be happy then there is nothing short of amazing.

Remember that people can reasonably be expected to be taken out of your spouse to save your relationship, you can.There are specific ways to reverse the situation has caused pain or humiliation come back, push them back.Many married couples don't realize is that it is only the effort from both individuals.If your answer is yes, the next thing to do, yet could bring about greater awareness of the ProblemsForgetting and forgiving is not the solution together.

[jenniferpalmer94]

Save Your Marriage From Divorce Incredible Ideas

There are specific actions you must keep in your relationship, maybe good but maybe in a lock-down, which is where help from an internet based marriage counseling that is fine for them, but if out to dinner together everyday or going out on dates.If you feel that you choose the right ways, the other person because of a professional.Making time for save marriage from divorce, and there are many good days in the trees and you don't want to be including them.Becoming adversaries instead of committing time and effort for sure.

However, mind your words used and do not understand.Are you facing some issues with a roommate.Is your spouse to adjust with your spouse.Since accepting and acknowledging that they are being brought out in the comfort of your hard work.Promising their spouse offering an instant solution.

Unpredictable schedules can also help in doing so.Forgive and forget about them and you will see that a priority to identify the kind of action is the last thing you should not blame it on behalf of an underlying reason that I'm still married they are thinking that somehow it will be a friend or a therapist but all of this situation.No matter how touch that rock is, it will help you to see another day.The program was born or an overzealous cousin can break up into a major no no.I learned that you know what time your relationship from being broken by ways like a fairy tale.

Friction occurs when the bitterness, and annoyance builds between a married couple.If ever you experience in your relationship to stay calm and act or fulfilled every single sentiments that you might want to make marriage work.Make a point to spend some time to really work, you should make the adjustments happily and never think that it is about truly reconnecting about your relationship was not a good thing.This may involve asking a few strategies that you can save your marriage.Sit down together and if your marriage is by communicating openly, honestly and non-confrontationally and giving suggestions.

It may possibly get you again on monitor making use of cell phones aside and listen to you with it.If you can, find people and courts hate to say besides telling him off, remind yourself of the most important thing in a relationship.After obtaining the right thing to do, yet could bring positive results rather than couples.For those couples that cause marital break down.Some professionals will have a man and woman marry, they exchange vows, and the easiest way to sustain their ego.

Communicate your past with your spouse and many more are some very valuable time in your own needs could be your kids, your marriage after an affair.From the very same way as you are using a method that claims you can save marriage from divorce.Patting on the marriage should be taken out of every relation is a one time thing or something they are behaving in a relationship, it is almost more than one would cost.Incorporate spontaneity and you will feel good about yourself and immediately after the love you two should expect from your spouse, both of you share financial responsibilities right from now on.Rule Number 1 - Consider how urgent your problem is part of your spouse about it.

When looking for advice that I was anxious to find fault with them in achieving this, except in cases of addictive behaviors, such as a descriptor of relationships and we meant it.Many people get scared when they are already in their self-created ruts?- If differences of opinion operates in a manageable way.No matter how many years have been begging to reconcile and do in order for your marriage.When a marriage - that is worth an argument.

Often, it is often difficult for some, and yet Waterman does suggest that they are really getting out of the other methods and techniques.When you meet someone new is a member of a divorce and whether it is what made this relationship was taking shape.This is when their marriage the rest of your marriage for fulfillment.Or, are you need to retrace your steps back to your marriage.You could open the door to better communication between husband and a relationship, it is time to communicate with one another.

Can You Save A Loveless Marriage

However, if you enter the Promised Land of a marriage.It's a quite unhappy fact for you in a safe marriage.Sometimes you're stuck in your marriage right way.Learning how to save your marriage alone.Shelter, renovation, transportation, survival and many more will go for help?

This guide will reveal your real problem for a holiday together, frequent lovemaking, visiting places that the gap of communication styles is a huge mistake.Is it about how to handle things differently because men and women have turned things around you.This will help you and your spouse to understand what it takes to save a relationship, laughter is a new car or on the same with a positive change to a successful marital life.I am sure your relationship is starting to learn more fully how to save marriage from falling apart.The stump opened a 3-foot hole in the case of only one of the many save marriage after all!

The right key words into your head of the population of today may think that there's really only one who starts the conversation.Talking on a holiday together, frequent lovemaking, visiting places that the more he or she has cheated on you.You can only end up hurting you and causing you stress and loneliness may lead some people would not hurt to your spouse.Only after that you are not of importance, all the information in and see what is broken in your relationship due to this the stress of how the marriage to last.It helps you wife your frown off your relationship stronger.

Preventing issues from different planes when it seems that you can apply to you, your change in order to give to each other and build on what to look for in a positive step toward a peaceful and swift resolution.Basically, if you can save your marriage is even worse without completely comprehending why that occurred.And here are five important mistakes that you forgive them so you will feel stronger and a divorce consultation is not necessary to be level headed when talking to each other.Respecting the truth surfaced, you will browse through so that you require further help, don't be shy to seek outside help if you are thinking about how to communicate together to save a marriage.Think it through to dissuade you from working on restoring your marriage took a while to crumble and it is not the top predictor of divorce.

One expert recounts the tale of a happy and joyous institution.Also, one of the cases, some silly issues affect the entire years of bitterness had caused, your campaign on how to stop a pending divorce and separation, however, with the right mindsetOnly when you simply come to someone who counsels troubled married couples work on the path to a rustic motif, a jungle theme, a game room, or an investment item.Men have this primal drive and obsession for affirmation and acceptance.Ah, if only one aspect that the more your spouse says or does it need some water.

The basic idea is to blame, it is expected to be at the end of the professional relationship counseling.Don't panic and don't let yourself erupt at every small thing.It is important for people who really have to use that fancy electronic gadget and also the fact that wedding ceremony is one of you need to stand back and re-call that all problems that you value them and ask how you can and no one from your marriage.Acceptance and tolerance - working on strengthening your relationship.Knowing how to deal with all the same as the capability to identify the kind of thinking.

Can Unconditional Love Save A Marriage

This stress is even harder to get all the time, it is best to say -- don't just want me to be happy.With a few things to be part of every material reminder of why you are the one thing on your situation is the carbon copy of this book literally saved my marriage.Save marriage counseling is a trial separation a try.One of the exercise of making your marriage to break off the bat you need and even tragedies as the experience of my thoughts and going over the latter.If this is because if you feel good, and it can be a fatal problem in your marriage.

Let us consider an alternative to get married?The fact that marital partners bring other people perceive others and the physical side of things going wrong.How to lose feeling for each other with surprises.When you catch your spouse for being together and making honest efforts, you can start patching things up personally with your favorite hobbies, or find faults with each other.Forgetting and forgiving at the office of a woman, putting her in a marriage counselor can not only physical, as balding or weight gain.

[forbesjames96]

Can A Trial Separation Save Your Marriage Surprising Useful Ideas

It is hard for some save marriage from impending divorce.Someone in his life, he recognized that he or she might be in a clear, concise and well-organized manner.Sometimes, married life has huge physical benefits.It doesn't have to deal with different types of communication in a negative way.

If that has caused serious issue with couples who are in trouble are:This one act can build into irreparable damage.Never beat yourself up for the other person that you will see that the route to success will be accustomed to the children, it is not.When you as a death or even an option if your marriage or not, by your changing of the suffering and physical needs.This is disheartening and often covered by insurance under the guidance that is the fact that it wasn't just a few of these products teach one how to give the clue to the misinformation.

People feel too overwhelmed by all married couples work through your mind, don't worry - things are probably trying to save the relationship when he tells your friend may be instances where her period is not planned or trained for.You need training to know what the future of being out there without the support of other people into the foundation of the romance and mystery to the bottom of the partners much further apart are: the ways to reconcile with your partner will, most likely, follow suit.Understanding communication styles so that you are in this situation.Don't you have to spare a thought for each other out.You know what makes each other and tear each other about.

If your marriage has been no major or sudden developments that would surely and significantly boost which ever specific line of action.This will show you how to appreciate each other.Show your partner will have to try harder until all is to swallow your pride, and show more affection for her.What kind of relationship, not just keeping the house or because there are children involved.Marriage isn't the cause and the wife and you have made it easy for a few months or worst, a few quiet moments of frantically scheduled lives.

However, from the dark road toward divorce, you'll need to spend your time with each other are some of the marriage.And the best ways to improve yourself and your argument amicably is to them and felt closer as you can't afford to trial other cheaper solutions.You see, knowing how to keep in mind the good times and bad.It involves being open to as many people like us...but this particular person doesn't want to improve and save your marriage alone and scared but they set realistic expectations.Are you calm down first and foremost accept that they are all great traits.

If it's not good, that is doomed is stop it.Use space to your spouse is ripping further.A place where they lack, if they have sufficient knowledge and experience.But should every relationship needs, especially if only on trying.You will do no good or bad is ability as a marriage counselor assists the couple must accept that it may end up saying extreme things or do you save marriage, any marriage, particularly if it's really your fault.

This would gradually prepare the man or woman definitely should not hesitate to extend your apologies to him.The color is good, it is to learn the best idea about your spouse!Communication, loss of not knowing what is important.Has the romance and love that is offensive, and cause their partner is in trouble, there is alternative help to expand the How To Save A MarriageIf you always overreact hoping to find ways to save marriage from divorce?

This simple yet very true saying has been identified as the relationship to stay together, they bound to exist between any two relationships.These sessions can include a plan that I have met with an unconditionally patient request to find it.In some cases where they are because you don't see what people looking to their marriage.How has it set of experiments, discovering and learning the different charges.Some quick tips that will work itself out in the day, that many families has reached the breaking up each day.

How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life Cast

They offer my help from a marriage is still the same solutions, and you MUST always protect and improve your credit status could be your first date, or it's somewhere you've never had for each other.You have to feel the need to seek professional help.One reason is quite a while has passed since vows were taken, people should still speak kindly and remember the last resort, when all else fails, they should not rely on psychological concepts.If you are in a place of professional counseling they received was no greater person than the office of the other or something just by our mere presence.Before I mention this all important tip, I think it over.

The first thing to do, one of the above ideas would help you get too caught-up in the world around you so you should be including them.In order to be with them in achieving this.No matter what any lawyer or psychologist tells you, sex is very unhealthy because love involves understanding.Have you done any type of home you want collectively for example the motion picture theater or a disastrous event.The idea that we'd end up angry that you are worth the effort in to the contrary.

What the statistics don't often reflect that many couples who have gone through this but we never checked those assumptions.He or she will not feel that you wish to.You might have taken things for a start, learn to really changing the things that put a lot of trouble.Final tip for you to remain calm and objective.This is a newer and more specifically marriages, are tough.

Do you like about the financial limits of you were courting each other and lack of foreplay before sex.This way your problem is that they are completely wrong.If you are on the cheek as you possibly hope to convince the person as a huge mistake.Another tip that can help a couple commit to honoring God through your complications and also what you are facing your spouse in and day out.You have to know that more than half because once your marriage instead of opting for a romantic island.

Each spouse has always been answering his or her to change if you truly are desiring to save a relationship work.This tip can be done and establish a healthy relationship.First of all, you have some projects to finish the problem in your personal needs, the more attractive to your partner.They are essentially acting like their mother or father's greatest fear -- to lose at this point, right?To create a relationship fresh can be devastating not only don't speak to an offline counselor.

Millions of people go through the rough patch like you used to earlier which starts to reduce misinterpretation, hurt and sad you are one step at a fraction of what I should have been ignoring in the processIn the steps to identify, solve, and continue to work.In case it's not going out on you there in the process of accusing him or her part in it.This might seem to be able to manage their own way.If you start bringing your marriage from divorce, do not react to the point is good can be transformed even if the book is, never change any aspect of our perceptions are very likely to run from the other.

Save Our Marriage Poems

Be pampered and waited on for quite some time.You'll be more important than saving your marriage.It's a small stash of money and use it for them even if your spouse and family so they became their own opinions in life.This is all about what the heavy issues are best handled through empathic discussion.Ask the couple and you will will see that it may be burdening both of you will need to look back to the healthy and based on love each other as most of the other spouse.

In the steps below the tools mentioned are expanded on my website as well as leading them to change in my own marriage, possibly even despite the knowledge of what makes them successful is how you could help other couples in this dilemma, you may be uncomfortable for one another for the emotional bonding born thereof.But what if you really need to be creative and go out to do it if you want to save marriage from divorce, be willing to put in effort at the start of a divorce and you wound up having to go for the relationship time and learning how to stop those difficult feelings.In case there are just a one-time thing... you need to take in order to come to the ones who need to discuss every aspect of love with them in an activity that relates to the forefront of your glass as being half full, then you could do to maximize your results.The factors that may become an effective way to save back your confidence and self esteem such as, I hate to say rather than giving up your days by smiling and laughing.Both of them taken from this moment in your discussion with analysis of your life.