polarbear-musings
Where I play God
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polarbear-musings · 4 years ago
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The Palmer-Strange Series Part 1- Draft
In high school, Christine Palmer was voted on for “Most likely to be on time everywhere”. Yet here she was, waiting. She had been waiting for over an hour. She had left from the hospital a bit early today, she worked at the <> as an ER Trauma Surgeon. She reached home and took a quick shower and then took painstaking efforts to dress up for the upcoming fundraiser in the evening. She was wearing a lavender shimmery evening gown, with half of her hair neatly tucked in a bun and the other half left cascading down her shoulders in soft curls. She fussed a little with her makeup but ultimately decided to go for a simple look. She felt grateful for her mother’s flawless skin genes. Once she was satisfied with her appearance, she picked up her phone. She was on time, as always. She called her boyfriend. Her call went unanswered. She dialed his assistant’s phone. “He’s still in surgery” was the answer. She sighed and decided to stretch out a bit and lie down on her couch, careful to not mess up her dress.
Half an hour later, she was pacing up and down in her living room. She kept glancing at her phone every few minutes, checking if her boyfriend had texted her. He hadn’t. It was a Saturday and he had a brain surgery going on, which had been scheduled to be done 3 hours ago but Stephen was held up at the hospital. She couldn’t even bring herself to be excited about the night that lay ahead. It was technically a date night but really it wasn’t. Stephen had been invited by the American Neurological Association Department to give a talk at their fundraiser tonight. Her boyfriend, Dr. Stephen Strange was a renowned neurosurgeon in the US. He was a celebrity in the field of neuroscience. He was the highest paid neurosurgeon in the country, maybe the top 3 in the world. Therefore Christine had had the opportunity to attend thousands of such fundraisers, galas, seminars, talks. It wasn’t that she wasn’t proud of Stephen, she was extremely happy for him. Although it got tiring to be doing this almost every 2 weeks. Yet, this was his idea of quality time. She had known Stephen since medical school and they had been romantically involved ever since he joined the <> hospital a year and half ago. Remembering his first day at the hospital always made her giggle. His good looks and his confidence had caused a lot of furor amongst some of the female doctors. That was up until lunch time, when everyone discovered what a huge ass he was. With Christine, he was different though. He could almost give up his need to be in control with her. Christine found herself checking the time, she was getting impatient. She couldn’t remember the last time they went on a regular date or even watched a movie together. Now Christine was as busy as Stephen - if not more. She was a surgeon in the ER after all. ER meant constant stress. ER means no appointments, she was on call the entirety of her shift, unlike Stephen who could just schedule his surgeries around his golf time. She always hoped that they could do things the way normal couples did. She also knew that she was the only one who felt this way because Stephen found this current arrangement to be very perfect. She finally walked herself over to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. 
Twenty minutes on, she finally heard her phone ring and Stephen’s assistant was on the line. “Hello? Is he done?” she enquired. Felicia, his twenty three year old assistant replied “Yes Christine, he is asking you to drive up to his place, since there’s not enough time for him to pick you up and then drive back again to the fundraiser. He says he is sorry for the late notice”. Late notice?! YEAH RIGHT! Christine couldn’t believe her ears. Her boyfriend was such an ass! She just muttered a “Fine” and cut the call. “Damn you Stephen!” she thought
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She made her way up to his swanky Manhattan skyscraper apartment. As she got inside, she saw his assistant was helping him with his tuxedo while he was bent over his watch collection mulling over which watch to wear. He heard Christine enter the room. He walked over to her and gave her a quick kiss and before she could say anything, he started, “I know I know I know, I shouldn’t have kept you waiting, I know.. The hospital messed up on some scheduling and I had to wait. Christine just glared at him. He somehow thought that her look meant she was in agreement with him and so he continued , “I know right? I can’t believe it myself. I charged them for every minute I was in there.” he ended with his best puppy dog expression. She just couldn’t resist him when he was like this. He kissed her hands. Christine found her anger dissolving after seeing him. “You look gorgeous” he winked. She smiled and waved the compliment off, and added “You too Strange”. “Ready to leave?” he said as he offered her his arm.
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After braving the evening Manhattan traffic, they finally reached their venue. It was a 5 star hotel. Stephen stepped out of the car and escorted Christine out. He handed the keys to his expensive xyz to the valet and they walked in. Immediately as they walked in the lobby, he was greeted by at least 3 people. Christine internally prepared herself for all the smiling and greeting and talking. Christine never really fit in this world. This glamorous part of the medicine world. It felt too much for her, but she had to embrace it for Stephen. After making rounds of the room and socializing with everyone, they finally settled in at their tables, right at the center. They were seated next to Dr. Huntington and his wife Sheila. Dr.Huntington had recently retired from practice due to his old age and he was someone Stephen admired deeply. He was a mentor to him. Sheila, his wife, was a very merry lady. She was extremely witty and Christine always liked her company at these events. They got to talking in no time.   Stephen was a little annoyed because one of his rivals was also due to speak at the fundraiser. He wasn’t told about this. His mood had visibly soured. “Why would they not tell me that he is also a part of this?” he huffed angrily. “It’s alright, it’s a fundraiser, he has donated money, it’s for a good cause, isn’t what this is about?” she tried to pacify him.  He looked at her as though she was crazy “You’re so naive, Palmer” he laughed derisively. They were interrupted by his arch rival, Dr. Rogers and his new trophy wife. They greeted each other, Liam Rogers greeted Christine and gave her peck on her cheek. Stephen didn’t like that at all. “Congratulations on the wedding Liam” Christine said. Stephen just nodded and smiled with her, he couldn’t bring himself to bestow any blessings on Liam Rogers. He was a snake of a man. He introduced Stephen and Christine to Natasha, a famous Ukrainian model. Stephen took her hand and gave it a kiss. Liam boasted about donating a certain amount and then took his leave. Stephen kept his cool but he felt like killing the son of a bitch. The fundraiser began and Stephen had to give his speech and everything went smoothly until it was Liam Rogers turn for his speech, in which he announced his own foundation that will work for etc etc etc and that it was his wife’s idea and Natasha Rogers will be the CEO of his foundation. Congratulations poured in for the newly married couple. The fundraiser essentially became about Dr. Rogers. Christine groaned inwardly, not because she hated Liam, but because this meant Stephen’s mood will be sour for the next few days. She looked at Stephen , who had a very fake looking smile plastered on his face. She could just read his mind, she found him so amusing. He noticed Christine looking at him with an amused expression. “Oh shut up, Palmer” he deadpanned without looking at her. Christine just laughed and rubbed his hair. “I can’t wait to leave” he turned towards her. “No way Stephen, you cannot take me away before desserts, they are the ONLY thing that make this ordeal bearable!” she said laughing. He just gave her a puppy dog look and said “We’ll get our own dessert, but let’s just leave soon.” Christine was sold on that idea.
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After they said their goodbyes, they left from the hotel. Stephen was focused on the road, but his mind was thinking about Rogers and his new foundation. He was thoroughly pissed off. His thoughts were broken when Christine asked where are 
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polarbear-musings · 4 years ago
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Writing Prompt #3
It was the time of the year when they came to collect the kids of the village. Nobody forgot about it, anybody dare not, but nobody talked about it either. It was something that was accepted by the people in the village. The tradition had its roots from centuries ago. Every year, they come and take the kids. After a week, most of the kids returned but some unfortunate ones don’t. It is because of this, that children in the village were only given their names if and when they returned from the dark, whatever age that might be.
For families that got their children back, celebrations followed and for those whose children didn’t, quiet funerals did. Of course, they never told them that their children were dead, but it was what was accepted by the people in the village. They were considered dead because they were never seen again. They were never told about what happened to them, about where they were taken and why they were taken. They just were and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Couples who did not have children were not permitted to live in the village, they were cast out of the walls, a fate which was maybe worse than having your children taken away.
The children who returned remembered nothing. They remember being taken away and then remember being back. There are murmurs that say that the kids who come back are not the same ones who were taken away. They seem changed, and they seem angry. 
To be continued..
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polarbear-musings · 4 years ago
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Writing prompt #2
Obviously, that was completely illegal. There were no two ways about it. Accessing someone else’s account, impersonating them all lay in the black area of morality. There was nothing gray about it but Esme couldn’t be stopped. Infatuations are after all strong entities. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but she couldn’t help it. Without thinking further, she typed the username and password of her friend’s account and she had access the second she hit Submit. She was in. 
Esme felt a rush of adrenaline, the fear of getting caught and the excitement about discovering the truth, both made her senses tingle. She knew she did not have enough time, she had to be quick. The mission in mind was clear. All Esme wanted was to know was whether the boy she liked, returned her affections. She quickly scrolled over to the online section and struck up a conversation with a friend of the boy in interest. She asked him, impersonating her friend, whether the boy had feelings for Esme. He didn’t.
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Well, that was that. Esme quickly logged out of her friend’s account after saying hurried goodbyes to the guy. She breathed out a sigh of relief at not being caught. However, the relief was quickly replaced by nausea. He did not like her back. It took some time for the message to sink. But before it truly could, her infatuation started firing back “ Well at least, that’s what his friend had said.”  She was quiet for a few seconds, not knowing what to think or do. Her thoughts ran wild -  “Do you give up on your pursuit of him or do you keep waiting? Do you back off or do you try harder? Do you believe his friend or - “ and that’s where her thoughts stopped. OF COURSE! She had no reason to think that his friend knew what truly lied in his heart. He might still like her after all, his friend didn’t know what he was talking about. That’s all an infatuated person lives on. Hope. That was enough for another day.  Tomorrow, she’ll try harder.
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polarbear-musings · 4 years ago
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Writing Prompt #1
I remember the first time I... rode a bicycle. I remember it as clear as ice. I remember me struggling with the balance of it. I remember my mother sitting near the garden in my building, just keeping me company as I struggled to get it right. It had been a few days, maybe weeks since I had been trying. I had a few friends in my building complex and all of them had successfully learnt how to do this. Off they’d go with their bicycles minus the training wheels. I remember when my best friend learnt it, she had taken the training wheels off and within few days she knew it. I didn’t want to compete with her record or her, so I purposely did not attempt it. I didn’t want to draw any comparisons, mostly because I didn’t think I could do it. So I’d still carry on with my bicycle with training wheels. I don’t remember when or how I finally decided to give it a shot. I do, however, remember all the failed attempts. How I’d push one pedal and fall off the bicycle as it bent towards one side. I just couldn’t figure it out! How did they do it so effortlessly, what was I missing? I had to pass a few days just watching my friends play because that’s all I could do as my bicycle didn’t even have training wheels attached. I remember that one day though, the day I finally got it. It was late evening, the sun had set and I believe it was a Sunday since none of my friends were there. (They’d all go out on Sundays with their families, but since my father was never at home due to his job abroad on most occasions, Sundays were pretty lonely). So there I was, trying hard again and again, falling again and again, I ended up going behind a wall around my building, out of sight from my mother. It was there, when I was alone, with nobody around that I finally got it. Instead of giving in to the fall due to gravity on one side, my leg pushed the pedal on the other side, the bicycle straightened and started to fall on the other side. I put my leg on the ground and paused! I THINK I FINALLY GOT IT! With renewed excitement, I started again, this time I was so excited, I could feel my heart race. I begun again and managed to do it for a meter and I only stopped because of how excited I got and also because I would have been out on the road had I continued. I was extremely excited and I just had to show my mother! Determined, I hopped off the seat, turned the bicycle around, ready to go all the way to my mother, who was pretty far from where I was. I started again, feeling extremely proud of my newfound skill. I zoomed past the wall obstructing the view, pedaling faster and faster. I saw her sitting near the garden, she wasn’t looking at me. I called out to her , demanding that she look at me. I had finally gotten it! She was really happy, I think she was mostly relieved that it happened so we could go home. She saw it as something that was inevitable, that I was obviously gonna learn it someday. However I definitely did not think of it like that. It was a humongous challenge for me. I never thought it was a given. I worked hard to learn it and I did. I’m glad I did not give up on it. 
I feel I have stopped doing so now, I tend to give up on things, even slightly difficult or uncomfortable things very easily. If it doesn’t come naturally to me, I lose patience. It has been many years since I got the “ I THINK I FINALLY GOT IT! “ feeling. How could I? I stop at the first sign of discomfort.  I remember this   I THINK I FINALLY GOT IT! feeling, very clearly and I feel it is high time that I try to experience it once again.
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polarbear-musings · 4 years ago
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My version of how Kedarnath ends (spoilers)
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Mukku and her family manage to reach to a safe place. There are so many people around - drenched entirely and worried for their survival. Everything is happening really fast that Mukku doesn’t really get any time to think. Her mother pushes a stack of towels into her hands and she gets to handing them out to people who are freezing, who cannot move due to the cold water. As Mukku is handing out towels, she sees Kullu enter the house with his mother. His mother is in pain and is freezing. Mukku glares at him and then turns to her sister, signalling her to not bother with him. Brinda just grabs a towel and goes to offer it to his mother, wrapping it around her. Brinda goes to the stove to prepare some hot tea for them. Their mother is helping Brinda with the tea as well. Suddenly, they feel the house structure shake, as though its foundations are shaken and they see cracks form around them. Mukku looks up in horror to her sister and mother on the other side of crack. Before she knows is, one half of the house breaks down and sinks in the flood below them taking her mother and her sister with it. People around start running out in panic, trying to escape the debilitated house. But for Mukku and her father, time stops, Mukku and her father are distraught. She loses sense of everything and just falls to the ground looking at her mother and sister reaching out from the flowing water, water that is rapidly carrying them away with the wave. They are reaching out for help, Mukku cannot do anything but shout and scream and cry. Her father is in shock, looking at one half of his family being carried away with the water. His wife and his daughter. Both are helpless.
Mukku’s father quickly realises that the building structure is about collapse and they might suffer the same fate as his wife and daughter, he pulls Mukku up and starts dragging her outside. She is still in shock and resists slightly until survival instincts kick in. They make their way out, where they run into Kullu. Mukku loses her cool and starts hitting and attacking him whilst her father watches, trying to half-heartedly trying to stop her. Kullu finally pushes her off, gives her and her father a sharp look and walks away from them, deserting them. Her father is a little shocked, but Mukku just takes her father's arm and pulls him away in the opposite direction. Mukku and her father make their way into the Kedarnath temple, where a lot of people have taken shelter. Everyone is scared beyond their mind. Mukku’s father hugs her and rubs her head trying to comfort her. Mukku’s thoughts are broken up when she hears Mansoor's voice calling out her name. She immediately stands up and starts walking around shouting his name. They finally see each other. Both are relieved. As they are making their way to each other, a huge gush of water floods the temple and within seconds they are under water and are dragged out of the temple with the force of water. Mukku's father catches hold of her, but they are being pulled with the water, until Mansoor reaches out and grabs Mukku's hand and holds on to Nandi. The force of the water is really pulling against them. Mansoor is determined and holds on to the statue for dear life. Mansoor and Mukku look at each other, just trying to withstand this moment, praying that the water passes. Eventually Mukku starts to lose consciousness, Mansoor looks at her and sees that her eyes have closed. Helplessly Mansoor tries to wake her up by jerking her arm, her father is holding onto her arm, both of them dependent on Mansoor holding onto the statue. People around them have been dragged away with the water. It would have been the end but the water passes away after a few seconds and they go along with it and are submerged in the ground and covered in wet mud. Within a few minutes, Mansoor wakes up, feeling suffocated. He is covered in wet mud. He wipes his face instinctively, trying to breathe and sees bodies around him. He immediately locates Mukku and goes to her, picks her out of the mud, wipes her face and nose as she gasps for breath. He sees that she is well, so he does the same to her father lying next to her. Her father starts breathing and gets up, feeling indebted to Mansoor. They see other bodies, and jump to helping them. Some of them are still alive, Mansoor and Mukku help them up. Most of them are dead. 
They can feel the structure is not very steady and is trembling a lot. They are worried for their lives. With them, there is a small family of 3. Mukku is held on both sides by her father and Mansoor. They see an Army helicopter making their way to them. The party of 6 make their way up to the terrace of the house they are in. The helicopter stops above them and drops down the cable and the jacket. Mansoor grabs it and starts securing the jacket with it around a woman and her kid from the family. He secures them and signals the officer to pull them up. Next, Mansoor secures the jacket for Mukku’s father. Her father is crying and holds onto Mansoor’s shoulders, not knowing how to convey his emotions. Mansoor just nods at him, understanding him, and signals the officer to take him up. When the cable comes down again, Mansoor couldn’t have been quicker to put it around Mukku. Mukku is just crying and looking at him. She is feeling helpless, her eyes convey that she wants Mansoor up next, her eyes are almost pleading with him to hurry him. She wishes they could go up together. She just wants her father and Mansoor out of there. He quickly hugs her and kisses her forehead and checks whether the jacket is secure before giving the thumbs up to the rescue team, they quickly pull her up. They send it back down, Mukku is just calling out for him. Mansoor is securing the jacket around himself looking up, Mukku is just calling out for him, until she hears the officer say they can only allow one person as the helicopter is full. Hearing this, the child also starts calling out for his father down. Mansoor just looks up, seeing Mukku and the little boy. Mukku calling out for him and the little boy calling out for his father. The choice is made for Mansoor. Crying, he starts to take off his jacker. Mukku is being held by her father, she is crying out for Mansoor. She keeps yelling “Mansoor NO NO NO”. He cries harder hearing her scream but he could not let a little boy lose his father. He knows the pain of it. He secures the jacket around the man, and signals the officers to take him up. Mukku is crying , he looks up at her, he is crying too but he still smiles at her. Once, the man is up, the helicopter flies away, leaving Mansoor back on the roof.
 Mukku is inconsolable, they pull her back in, her father hugs her and they close the helicopter. She screams, she kicks her legs, she ultimately feels numb. After a while, the helicopter finally makes a landing. Mukku has screamed and cries so much that there’s nothing but dry tears now. They are asked to get out of the helicopter quickly, so they team can head back to save more people. They get out and are led to whether the other rescued people are sitting.When they get there, Mukku and her father see Kullu sitting there with other people. He sees them and makes their way to them. Before he can say anything, Mukku's father makes it clear to him that the marriage never happened for them and he'd rather die than let Mukku be Kullu's wife.  Her father takes Mukku away from him. Kullu just watches them walk away, not knowing how to explain his act of cowardice.    Mukku’s father tries to see if he can see his wife and daughter there. Hoping against everything that they were too rescued as they were. Mukku is just sitting wrapped in a blanket, her father consoling her but she can't hear him, she cannot hear anything around her. Her entire world has been ripped from her, her mother, her beloved sister and Mansoor. She somehow feels responsible for everything. She is broken out of her thoughts, when she feels her father jerking her arm, looking at a distance saying 'Mansoor Mansoor" , trying to get her to see. She immediately looks up and sees Mansoor and some more people alighting from another rescue helicopter walking to the area with all the other rescued people. He has tears in his eyes but a smile on his face, looking at Mukku, Mukku finds herself get up and runs towards him and hugs him tightly, as tightly as she possibly could, scared that letting go would mean him disappearing. She cries hugging him and he hugs her back. Her father just looks on at the two of them. Mansoor opens his eyes and looks at her father, and is happy seeing her father give a soft smile as well. 
After all, how can Bholenath let anything bad happen to his devotee?
--- Fast forward 3 years, Mansoor and Mukku are happily married, they are taking care of Shankar Lodge together and living with her father and Mansoor's mother and Mukku is pregnant.
The End
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I had imagined this story when I first watched Kedarnath in 2019, because I just couldn’t live with the fact that Mansoor had died and didn’t get his happy ending. I had to imagine something else to make myself feel better. The writing might not be very polished though, it’s just to make myself feel better.
(Perhaps they also found her mother and Brinda were rescued too, but I didn’t write that) 
I wrote this now because of the unfortunate demise of Sushant Singh Rajput. I don’t know why but I was really affected by his death, despite not knowing him personally. May he rest in peace.
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