#at this point its their own fault though im sure they had a say in how the mv story should have gone lmao

[rafyki]

War is the one suffering the most even in their MVs I can't asdfghkljkkll

How about letting him rest and be happy for once 😭

[reallife6anoufriev6boy6]

dylric angst fanfic - part two

includes necro, noncon, hints of prey/predator, etc.

notes: rapist murder with a side of library necro suicide please! (yes so what if i used zero hour pictures for the banner…)

edit: ((if my phone corrects my shit one more time im gonna smash it…its SUPPOSED TO BE ZERO HOUR SMH…))

right to the end, just like a friend

i tried to warn you somehow

you had your way, now you must pay

im glad that youre sorry now

the hours had passed by quicker then dylan and eric could comprehend.

dylan had spent the whole night, sobbing into erics shoulder while he sat there and held him. it was the sweetest thing hes ever done for him.

until now.

they were dressed and ready to go. everything they needed to do was done, they were in their spots, and now all they had to do was wait for the bombs to go off in the cafeteria.

dylan stared at the building while everything was starting to hit him. this was really gonna happen, he was really gonna do this.

he was going to do this with his best friend and prove to everyone that they were gods - they decided who lived and who died for their mistakes.

he thinks to himself though that they shouldve gone off at this point.

he looked across the lot to eric, seeing him looking down at his watch and shaking his head. he looks up and then back down, cursing to himself.

he makes a quick move to grab the rest of what needed out of his car and dylan does as well once he sees it.

he had no idea what they were gonna do now - their plan revolved around the bombs, but as long as his friend had some semblance of a plan then he was fine with that.

eric walks his way over across the lot to dylan “cmon, vee, lets just get this over with - that freakin’ crap isnt gonna go off.” he was obviously annoyed, but he was gonna make the most out of this.

dylan nodded “yeah - yeah, alright.” is all he answered with before they both turned to head in.

-

they took care of everyone outside with ease, then dealt with everyone inside. it was going a little smoother then they expected it to, but it still had its faults.

they were split up for awhile too before they finally came back together and recuperated, ready for their next step.

however, dylan hadnt noticed any of the boys they were *really* after. they had taken care of who they wanted to except for them.

if they had stayed home today for whatever reason or had somehow escaped then this was totally ruined.

it made dylan nervous and frustrated - it made eric absolutely pissed.

he wasnt gonna go down without those fuckers going down with them - he promised dylan that it would be the last thing he does.

they walk through one of the hallways, glass cracking beneath their boots and blood making the floor slippery.

“have you seen them yet?” eric asked, looking over to dylan. he wasnt sure exactly what they looked like or who they were - he had a very vague idea, but it was hard to get any information from dylan about it.

the blonde shook his head “no, i havent. theyve gotta be around here somewhere - i thought i saw their cars in the lot.” he had remembered seeing the cars parked outside, but he couldve just been seeing things.

they both could tell how each other were feeling. eric could tell that dylan was on edge and was frustrated that he might not get to see them be taken down before his own death while dylan could tell that eric was pissed they were being pussies and not showing themselves - so much for being tough guys, huh?

“its fine, ill find them. dont worry,” eric reassured him, but paused “i promised you that.” he hesitated to say it and it came out all embarrassed, but it made dylan smile.

“thanks, reb.” he replied as they turned the corner.

the brunette was about to say something else, but as they rounded that corner they were face to face with who they were looking for.

there was four of them there. four muscular white guys who were jocks on the schools sports teams. they looked all tough and proud, but now they were about to be nothing.

they were trying to open one of the exit doors and as if it was some miracle from the god they didnt believe in, the door was jammed. it wouldnt open no matter how hard they tried.

it made eric snicker - natural selection, bitch, is what he thought.

the brunette looks to the other, seeing the blank look on his face and his stiff posture. that alone told him all he needed to know.

he walks right up ahead, checking his gun as he did so to make sure it was loaded.

“hey, assholes!,” he called over to them “turn around, let me get a good look at you!”

they each turn their heads, confused, but the confusion quickly turns to horror as they try harder to open the door.

“cmon, man, you dont gotta shoot us,” one of them speaks up, but he fails to sound manly and his voice shook “we didnt do shit to you!” he spat while his friends tried to tell him to lay off.

erics eyes narrowed, glaring while his finger hovered over the trigger “are you that retarded? didnt do anything?,” he laughed, turning his head to look at dylan who was a little further back “vodka, did these fags do something? or are we just making it up?”

dylan shakes his head as if to say they werent making it up. he swallowed hard.

“yeah? name one fuckin’ thing!” the other answered with quickly. he clearly wasnt too smart to be taunting like this.

dylan doesnt want to name anything. he doesnt want to describe what happened just for these sick fucks. he doesnt want to think about it more then he already has.

he hoped eric understood and he did.

he turned to look back at the other boys “you know what you did.” he hissed, respecting dylans obvious discomfort.

none of the boys say anything for a moment until one of them whispers something to the other.

“oh - oh, yeah! *you* guys!,” he laughed “i didnt do shit to *you*, harris, but maybe to that freak over there!,” he continued laughing as he pointed towards dylan - even his friends who were hesitant before seemed to giggle along with him “it was all just a joke, ya know, we didnt mean anything! way to get overdramatic like a girl!”

he just wouldnt shut up and even his friends joined in, saying snide remarks and insults.

the two of them just stared, listening to all of it. let them run their mouths and ruin this for themselves, they figured.

“youre such a pussy, klebold! making your little boyfriend fight for you? seriously? man up, shoot me like a fuckin’ man!”

that was it for eric. he raised his gun and pressed his finger down on the trigger - all hell broke loose again.

it was a symphony of screaming, bullets, and the click of his gun. it was music to his ears.

dylan on the other hand was in complete shock - like an animal almost. it was surreal to watch the boys who assaulted him be murdered right in front of him, especially by his best friend.

he didnt ever entertain thoughts like this, but, god was it hot.

he couldnt even think of a better way to say it - it was just *hot.*

eric looked so focused, so set on making sure each of them had enough lead put into them to last them their trip to hell. the way his shirt and pants clung to him - the sweat dripping down his forehead and arms - it was all so attractive.

he lets off the last couple of bullets, the hallway turning eerily quiet and peaceful besides the distant shrill of the fire alarm and police outside. they both stare at the mess of blood and bodies.

eric doesnt even realize when dylan finally walks up next to him, abruptly grabbing him by his face with both hands and placing his lips to his.

his eyes widened, completely caught off guard. he wasnt expecting anything like that at all - maybe just some shared words about how good it felt to do that, but not a kiss.

eric knew better, but it gave him a sick sense of power.

he just murdered his best friends rapists for him - it was almost like he owed him now.

he could be the hero and kill those guys, but that doesnt make him any better. he was a teenage boy with an obsession for power.

dylan pulled away less then a second later, clearly embarrassed “sorry, sorry,” it comes out quickly, ready to explain himself “you just - looked really good,” it comes out a little softer then he meant it to. theres a soft layer of blush that eric is just barely able to make out on his face “thank you, eric.”

they werent more then friends. thats what they thought, but there was always something - something between the two of them that extended far past the label of friendship. an underlying need.

even the events from the previous night theyd chalk up to close friendship, but it was more then that.

eric doesnt reply, but instead grabs the front of dylans shirt and pulls him back down, kissing him again.

the blonde is surprised, but he quickly reciprocates.

it was ironic how intimate this seemed considering their situation, but this was their last chance to ever do something like this. no one was here to judge them - it was just them and the end of their world.

they stay there like that without a care and its so oddly sweet, but erics own needs get the best of him.

he lets go of his friends shirt, but instead puts his hands on his hips - his nails dig in just the smallest bit.

however, dylan isnt a fan. it makes him a little uncomfortable - he was more then grateful for what he just did for him, but he wasnt trying to be like *that*.

he pulled away just a moment later, wiping away some of his spit with the back of his gloved hand.

the brunette is less then happy to have him pull away, but he doesnt say anything about it. he knew better - thats what he told himself.

“i think we should go.” the other broke their silence. the end was inevitable and they both knew it. they didnt want to say it outright, but they already knew what needed to be done.

“yeah,” eric answered back “im done with this crap anyway. we gave them what they were asking for - lets go.”

-

its a quiet walk down to the library aside from the occasional comment with laughter and the random firing of their guns.

they had did it - they accomplished the only goal they set out for themselves. they did what they had to do.

now it would be over - all the chaos and terror would come to an end and they would finally be set free from this hell they were born into.

now they were in the library, sitting on the floor together. they ran their plans over hundreds of times, but they never really seemed to go over this part.

they were both checking over their guns, making sure they were set and ready.

“we’re doing it together, right?” eric asked, earning a nod from dylan “yeah. should be easiest that way.”

the discussion of that stops there. there wasnt really much to be said. they were going to die no matter how they did it.

dylan goes to place the end of his gun to the roof of his mouth, but he paused, turning to his friend.

“thank you - you know, for everything,” the other turns his head as he speaks “you were a great friend, reb.” theres something so surreal about the way he says it - they never put any thought into what their last words would be, so for it to be something so genuine was odd.

the brunette smiled “yeah, you too, vee,” its so weird to hear anything nice come out of his mouth, but it happens anyway “guess we’ll see each other in hell, huh?” he laughed and so does the other. they could barely ever take themselves seriously.

“yeah, man. ill see you there.” he replied back through his laughing. it sounded like they were just joking around - like they hadnt just murdered people and were about to finish themselves.

the laughter dies down though, being their final sign to get things moving along.

dylan placed the gun where it needed to be, glancing over to eric as if to let him know he should do it too, which he does.

neither of them make a move - at least until the blonde turns his head away, finger over the trigger. his friend followed his actions, keeping a finger over the trigger as well.

only a moment later did eric hear the bang from the gun, followed by the thud of his friends body falling.

this was where he was supposed to pull the trigger - end whatever suffering he was supposedly going through, but something makes him hesitate.

he knows what hes supposed to do - he knows he shouldn’t look over and should just get this over with, but he cant help it when he pulls the gun away and looks over to dylan.

it was just about as graphic as he wouldve expected. his head was blown open and the blood was already making a mess on the floor - he noticed how some of the splatter even got on his arm.

it was definitely weird to see his friend that way, but he couldn’t seem to piece together any other emotions. it was just *weird.*

he looks away and puts the gun back to where it belongs. he had to get this over with and just be done with it - there was no other way out of it. however, again, something makes him hesitate.

thats until he hears what sounds like gagging and choking.

he moves the gun away again and looks back over, seeing now that dylan was choking on his own blood while his body seemed to twitch and convulse.

it was a bad shot - a terrible shot even. he shouldve aimed better, but eric couldnt look away.

he just stared and watched.

it was wrong - so, so wrong about what he thought of next. he still owed him - he owed him for killing those guys who had hurt him. he didnt want to be on the same level as those guys, but he was far past that now that hes killed their classmates and committed crimes of his own.

he quietly set his gun down on the floor, getting up and sitting right in between his thighs.

was he seriously going to do this? was he really going to be as sick and disgusting as those guys - if not worse? yes, he was.

he swallowed hard, reaching a hand up to unzip his pants and pull them down. hes greeted with pale, scarred skin and thin thighs. it was a little off putting - he wasnt a big fan of the scars, but he carried on anyway.

he knew he had to make this as quick as possible considering there probably wouldnt be a lot of time before the police arrived in the building. of course, he didnt know that it would take them as long as it really did, but he just had to make the assumption.

he quickly pulled down his boxers and barely gives himself a chance to look at him before he was already taking care of his own. he unzipped his pants and pulled his boxers down just enough to take his cock out.

it was kind of disgusting how hard he already was. who knew all this murder and gore would get him so worked up.

eric readjusted their position, fixing the position of dylans legs and body, which was hard to do because of all the involuntary movement.

any thoughts of morality were thrown out the window at this point - there was no time for him to think about how wrong this was. he just had to do it. it was owed to him.

he lines up with the other, forcing himself in with a hiss. it was a tight fit - he wasnt welcomed here and he never would be. the groan it pulled out from dylan only proved that further.

he pulls back out, pushing back in and trying to get a pace started. its slow and rather awkward - he had never had sex with anyone before so he really only knew how to do this because of porn - and even that wasnt a great reference material when dylan didnt have a cunt like the girls he watched.

the brunette tries to make it work though, biting down on his lip as he forced himself in as far as he could go.

he would be lying if he said it didnt feel good. it felt *amazing.* maybe the blonde really did feel that good or maybe the situation made it better. he had no idea and he would never know.

he holds onto his hips for more leverage, trying to build up a better, quicker pace. it works somewhat - his own precum starting to make the slide bearable and easy.

he pulled another noise from the boy on the floor once he started to go faster, listening to his continued gagging and groaning. it was like he was aware, but just not quite.

it didnt matter though, he was gonna finish one way or another.

shame starts to creep its way in, but he has to shove it down. he feels ashamed that hes doing this to his best friend whos about half dead on the floor - not to mention he was another guy. his first time shouldve been with some pretty girl he met, not with a guy he considered his best friend who was bleeding out onto the floor.

at the same time though theres something about that specific fact. something so primal about taking what was his - not having a care about what anyone would think of him for doing this. he was an animal, a predator taking what he needed from his prey - what he was owed and deserved.

the thought of that alone just about sends him over the edge - thrusting in particularly hard with a moan of his own. he does it again, followed by one more until hes finally spilling inside of him.

the twitch of dylans body and the gagging seems to stop as he did so.

he stays inside of him, not bothering to pull out. his whole body felt fuzzy and there was a sort of hazy feeling that hung over him. it was euphoric, really.

he has to pull out though against his own needs, looking over his work. he just about gets another erection when barely any of his cum leaks out.

he has to refrain himself though. he stuffs his own cock back into his boxers, fixing his pants and then turning his attention to his friend. he pulls up his pants and boxers too, fixing them and putting everything back into place.

eric wondered what the reports would say about this. what the autopsy report would say about the cum left inside of his friend and on his own dick - maybe theyd say he had raped him in death which wouldnt be wrong, or maybe theyd think it happened before - that dylan was some kind of faggot who willingly took it up the ass.

either way, it didnt matter.

eric wouldnt be around to see it and neither would dylan.

[ilovechubbieguys]

please yumi enemies to lovers I NEED it…..didn’t get to vote …..

Omg...YES it tied so i didnt know which to do One to do so im using this as a tie breaker!!! Thank youuu<3333

Also just fyi this is gonna be pretty long and i will have a more extended version on my wattpad acc which ill link at the end and when i do post it on my wattpad i will also link but it might take longer!!

------------------------🍓------------------------

"AS IF"

Chapter -1

"God your such an asshole! I dont know why i ever fell for you i shoulda known better."

"Cmon y/n you know you love me"

"As if."

------------------2 weeks before----------------

Y/ns POV

I set the last box down in the living room of my new house i had just moved into. "Finally" i quietly said to myself. I moved all the way from montana to texas just to get away from my family, or just my dad, i suppose..

I sat on the floor of my box flooded house just staring at the ceiling not knowing what to do from here. Where was i gonna work, what if no one would hire me, what if- i cut off my own thought realizing i was thinking into it to much and i be just fine on my own

Though it did worry me and stress me out to a point. Normally, when i was stressed, i smoked, and right now was no exception. So i hopped in my Jeep Wrangler and tried to find the closest smoke shop and headed in not sure what i was even gonna get yet.

I opened the door and say a group of 3 guys laughing loudly and just being annoying. "Great.." i said under my breath. I walked around the small store generally trying to avoid the group of 3, but as i decided what i wanted and turned to walk to the from i was abruptly stopped as i bumped right into a tall guys chest.

"Oh my god im so sorry i wasnt paying attention!" I tried to explain a little scared of the tall figure "no no no its ok its my fault" he replyed quickly, not sure what to say i stand infront of him not saying anything "im issac"

"Oh, im y/n.." you said, looking at your feet. "Those 2 over there are tanner and yumi" he said, pointing at the remaining guys over by the gummies. Yumi? I said it my head. What an unusual name, never head it before. "Oh ok, well, im sorry again for bumping into you," i aay and start to go around the man now known to be issac. "Hey wait uh y/n" he said blocking me from going any further "we where gonna have a get together with a couple other friends ar out house, you should come" i act like im thinking about it " i dont know.." i say since im not sure if i should just go into this strangers house, i don't even know him.

"Here hand me your phone" i give him a confused look "just let me see it real quick" i slowly pull my phone out open it and hand it to him "here" i say quitly. He starts typing on it and hands it back "if you change your mind i gave you my number and texted you my address" i look down at my phone and low and behold there it was. I look at the address and realize its the house directly next to mine

"Ya ill text you.." i say and he walks away along with the other 2 guys he named off as tanner and yumi.

(PART II OUT NOW)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?

Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia

I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.

Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.

I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.

Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol

Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.

We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.

On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.

I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.

So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?

What are these acronyms?

[huelovening]

let you break my heart again pt. 2

hueningkai x reader

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, hueningie says mean things

a/n: HI im so sorry this took like. a year i died

part 1 (UGH IT WONT LET ME LINK IT RIGHT NOW ILL UPDte later)

the amount of scolding kai had to endure after he came home, left him upset.

he opened the door and immediately came to sight of his four elders, expectantly looking at him. "where's y/n?"

oh, his next words will surely take a blow on them. "i-, i don't think y/n and i should spend time anymore. she likes me and i don't return her feelings like that."

mixtures of "WHAT?", "dude what the hell" and "beee so for real" spread throughout the room, kai sat down on the couch with his hyungs, expecting comforting words, but-

"dude, you can't be serious? you ruined your relationship with y/n, because apparently you don't feel the same way? i know you're insecure sometimes and unsure of your feelings but you like her. whenever we talk you bring her up, i was annoyed by it at some point but i knew how much she meant to you so i let it be. don't be a dumbass, kai." taehyun finished, sighing one last time.

"you don't know how i feel, don't fucking act like you do. she's nothing to me" kai spat, his words more venomous than ever.

he got up to go to his room after that, taking one last glance at his best friends infront of him.

he was furious, that was for sure. he couldn't understand why his friends had to meddle in his life like that, he could handle it on his own. though he knew he went kinda far and said words he didn't mean, (you were definitely not nothing to him) he didn't want to talk to them as for now.

kai never argued with his friends, so he didn't know what to do, but to rot in bed for a little while. he couldn't even talk to you cause he broke your heart!

the boy tried to act like it was your fault, for falling in love, for thinking he'd like you back. deep down, he knew, that some kind of feelings did in fact, linger for you.

not that he would ever admit.

truth to be told, he thought his heart had belong to yuna. though after their first date, he realised she wasn't what he wanted, she wasn't you. as he kept seeing her, the guilt ate him up, and she knew too. that's when she ended things, kai told this story to his friends, ...without the part where he didn't even like her.

so, what the hell is wrong with him? why did he reject you? it's so clear to everyone that he wants to be with you. he needs to let you know too.

you haven't been doing well. after listening in on his conversation soobin, you obviously knew he wouldn't want you, but still, it hurt.

so when you've spent the entire night crying your eyes out, you don't expect to hear the sound of the ringing of your doorbell at 3am.

you considered not getting up at all. probably just a prank, right? but with the loneliness consuming your mind, you already absentmindedly made your way to the door

"kai."

as soon as you see his face you want to leave. run out of the house, even if its yours. the thought of slamming the door into his face hurts you, seems too cruel. after all, he's still the same boy you fell in love with, even after getting hurt.

"y-y/n.. i-.. can i come in?" he stutters.

you study his face, not knowing what his intentions were. he walks to the couch you've shared endless amounts of time on, laughing together and you cant help but think if you ruined it for good.

as you both sit down, he expectantly looks at you, didn't he initiate this? "kai, what is it? i know how you feel, we don't need to talk any more about this." you shrug, acting as nonchalant as possible.

"no, y/n... it's.. i made a mistake." he takes a deep breather in between his sentences. "i like you. fuck, i know i cant say this but i love you. i always did, i don't know why i acted the way i did.. i guess i was scared. i'm an asshole, i know and i understand if you can't forgive me but.. i just need you to know, that it's always been you. i'm sorry." he finishes

you're speechless. out of everything that could've happened, you didn't expect this, not at all. (which doesn't mean you're not excited about it!)

"kai.. i.. i love you too but i need some time. suddenly you don't like me and then you do? i forgive you but.. i need to think about this." you say.

he gives you a look which.. you don't know how to quiet read. is he glad? or angry at you? you start becoming nervous again until he starts speaking. "okay. that's fine. take all off the time you need"

he finally shows his signature smile again, the one that makes you weak in the knees, the one that makes you want to kiss him stupid.

he indulges you in a warm hug and you cant help feel your heart beating the same way that it always has for him, and for the first time that night, you giggle.

"spend the night?"

[xyilous]

A Little Too Much To Drink

had the idea to write another optimus fic, this was the only thing that came to mind that i could really get behind

basically gn reader gets drunk and flirts with boss bot

any continuity, probably fits more with bayverse, romantic reader

cw for alcohol, drinking, maybe anger issues LOL, emetophobia (mention), suggestive, im down bad

————————————

Nothing like a good trip to the bar to finish off a stressful week. Between entitled customers and your boss with her head shoved way too far up her own ass, you wanted, no needed, something to take the edge off. At this point you could explode from sheer annoyance alone, ready and willing to pop anyone in the mouth who dares to tell you to do something else. A few shots ended up multiplying after the initial alcohol ruined your mental clarity, now you’re picking up you’re phone in hopes of being able to get someone to drive you home. Considering it was closing time for a bar, not many are available. However, there’s a certain contact that you’re sure will be willing to come to your rescue at 2am.

Through a couple strange encounters and an unexpected introduction to a small group of cybernetic aliens, known as the autobots, you came to know their leader. He was a respectable mech, one that always stood for what he believed in and always made sure to cary out his duties, even if that means he receives a jumbled slur of words kindly asking him for a ride. Though Optimus wasn’t super keen on human habits and traditions, he knew that there was a substance that affected its drinker the same way high grade did back on Cybertron, by the warping of your voice he knew you got a bit more than you bargained for. After assuring him you were safe, just not suitable to drive home or wanting to get into a car with a stranger, he let you know he got your coordinates and would be at your location as soon as possible.

It took him no time (or maybe it did, your sense of time was swirled just like the weird concoction in your stomach) to show up, the rumble of the Prime’s powerful engine growled outside before abruptly shutting off, moments later his holoform made its way through the doors. By the looks of it he made sure to use a more casual outfit to help blend in, while Optimus glanced around you made the best of those few seconds, watching as his shirt and jeans hugged his body. Perhaps it was the liquor in your system, maybe it was his fault for using such an attractive body. You swung your arm high above your head to flag him down, your hand drunkenly flopping in the air. He caught sight of your goofy face and made his way over towards you, narrowly avoiding other patrons and their drinks. Optimus wormed his way up beside you and let you lean against his chest, hearing you giggle and ramble about something he couldn’t exactly make out.

“Nice to see you as well, but unfortunately I didn’t quite catch that,” That deep voice of his made an appearance, proving to only worsen the warm feeling in you cheeks.

“I said, ‘who gave you the right to stroll in looking so perfect’,” Your head rolled back to allow you to see the face that made your heart skip a beat, watching as his eyes widened and his cheeks flushed. He looked unsure of what to say, instead choosing to haul you up with a hand around your waist. Stumbling quite a bit, you curled yourself into his hip to try and keep steady the best you could, only for your knees to fail you.

“Won’t you be a doll and pack me out, hm? Be my knight in shining armor?” The grin on your cheeks widened a bit as you looked up at his shy expression before feeling his arms tuck under your back and knees, quite literally sweeping you off your unstable feet. You let out a surprised squeak at the movement, your state made it feel a lot more intense than it was and your hand clung to his shirt to ground yourself. Optimus waited a moment for you to adjust before he maneuvered his way out of the pub and to his alt mode. He sat you in the passenger seat comfortably, ensured you were buckled in safely, before disappearing into his cab and returning with a blanket you left in there a couple weeks ago. It enveloped you in its warmth, by the heat radiating off it one could assume he made sure to warm it up beforehand, what an angel.

The makeshift human mode fizzled out of existence as you laid your head against his window. It was peacefully quiet as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the highway. At some point your brain reared it’s head again, insisting that you make your move.

“Hey, Optimus,” You started, getting a small rev of his engine to let you know he’s listening, “Are you a magnet? ���Cause I’m feelin’ attracted to you.” The bot remained quiet as a dopey snicker came out of your mouth, your hand was tracing the small details and seams on the door you rested against. He never said anything about it, continuing to drive smoothly down the road.

“You know, if I was a car, I'd need some coolant, because you've got my engine overheating.” Regardless of how ridiculous you sounded, your foggy brain betrayed you by filling your veins with confidence, not allowing you to hear how cheesy your little attempts at flirting are. Optimus stayed silent, simply letting you to get it out of your system.

“Mm, you’re so pretty, you know that..?” The music that’s been playing in the background suddenly became staticky and broken before evening back out, by the sounds of it you took the poor mech off guard. Another giggle slipped out of your lips before you moved and kissed the part of the door your cheek rested against.

“‘Nd so strong too, such a strong bot,” you sighed a bit, clearly just rambling off the top of your head, “You take such good care of me and the others, always making sure to treat me right.” Pressing another small kiss to his door, you sat there for a moment to reel yourself back in.

“…I believe that you had a little too much to drink.” That lovely voice of his echoed out of the speakers and entered your ears, only encouraging you to push further.

“Alcohol doesn’t change how someone feels, sweetheart. Just makes ‘em a little more open, no harm in that.” Your little petname for him slipped out without you even noticing, with your intoxication it wasn’t exactly easy to keep your mouth shut, instead opting to try and play with the leader.

“Personally, I feel that your little nickname is a result of what you drank tonight.” Raising up and pivoting in your seat, you leaned your head against your hand.

“What about a different one then? How’s Doll sound? Maybe Sunshine? Oo, what if i call you Darling, would you like that one better?” Anyone would be able to hear the teasing in your voice, be able to tell that you were doing your best to do the cybertronian equivalent of getting someone hot under the collar. It was silent for a moment, enough to make you worry you went too far, before Optimus broke the silence.

“…Feel free to use what you feel fit, it is your call.” By the way there was a hint of embarrassment in his voice, you chose to pet at the passenger seat you rested in, consoling him by muttering soft praises. You weren’t even sure if he could hear you, but that didn’t matter now. Maybe it’s because you were drunk at 2 in the morning, but you swore you could feel the truck shudder.

“Why are you so embarrassed, honey? For a Prime you’re not too fond of being sweet talked, hm? It’s a shame really, such a pretty thing like you deserves all the attention.” In the midst of your thirsty rambling you were unaware that he pulled into your driveway, only realizing at the sudden halting caused by his brakes. Sluggishly looking up, you stared for a moment before clambering out of his alt mode.

“Won’t my dear knight allow me to see his handsome face, give me something good to dream about.” Without a moments notice the gears that made up his body twisted and folded in on themselves as he kneeled in his bipedal form, scooping you up into his massive metal palm. Optimus held you close to his chassis as his free servo gently pulled the window to your room open, allowing you to slip inside. As you slipped into your home, you leaned over a pressed another kiss to his digit, not even sure if he could feel such a small sensation. You moved into a house that stood by itself after you met the autobots, wanting them to feel like they didn’t have to hide like they would if you lived somewhere less reserved. Sometimes it could be helpful, like now, where you drunk so much that you can barely stand. When you turned around you were able to see that Optimus, the usually brave and steely leader of the autobot alliance, was acting timid, unable to meet your eyes. Behind his helm you could see puffs of grey dancing their way out of his smokestacks and filling the air, whether they were cooling him off or something else was a mystery to you.

“What’s got you so shy, love? Did I overdo it??” That cocky attitude of yours was quickly overridden by anxiety, you were petrified of the thought of making the boss bot uncomfortable, but you barely had time to finish your question before his optics jumped to you and he interjected.

“You did absolutely nothing wrong, I am just… rather unaccustomed to your… phrases, if you will.” As he spoke he got shy again, the smoke his frame was producing increasing.

“Oh? Allow me to help you get more comfortable then,” A large smirk dug itself across your features as you leaned onto your hands and held yourself up in your window frame, “You know, if I could reach you, I’d kiss all over that big metal face of yours. For a robot you’re quite the looker.” When his expression went from shy to shocked your grin widened, watching as he once again averted his eyes but placed his hand out for you to take your place back on. You used one of his fingers as a stabilizer as the soles of your shoes kept somewhat kept you in place, opting to sit down so you don’t fall 2 stories. This isn’t your first time, but it is your first time with too much alcohol for your little human body to handle.

Optimus, slightly nervously, raised you to meet his faceplates, keeping you at a level that you had room to explore a little bit but not stray anywhere unwanted. It’s your turn to get shy but your drunken confidence won, carefully you pressed your lips to his ‘cheek’, something small just to see his reaction. Those big blue optics of his danced over your much smaller face, cascading you in a bright blue light. A couple more smooches adorned his metal features before a small whirr made its way out of the bot’s frame, signaling that his cooling fans kicked on. The sound made you hum out of curiosity, taking a break from bombarding him with kisses to ask him what that was.

“When cybertronians feel too heated, our bodies will naturally trigger a set of internal fans to keep us at a normal temperature.” It was such a change of pace to see someone so confident turn so bashful, but it was cute nonetheless.

“Heated you say? Do I grind your gears that much, love?” You pulled back with that smirk still glued to your own cheeks, watching as he slightly nodded his head.

“Perhaps you do.” While the words came out of his mouth you made a move by kissing the robot equivalent of his lips, successfully making the bot sputter as he tried to find the words.

“You’re adorable, Optimus.” By now his smokestacks and fans were working overtime to fix his flustered form while you sat kneeled on his palm laughing. After his embarrassment subsided he let out a chuckle of his own, finding himself amused (granted not as much as your slap happy self) at his predicament. Before you could continue your face deadpanned for a moment, before a few dreadful words came out of your mouth.

“I’m gonna puke.”

————————————

[rottenblur]

My modern romeo | J.MILLER

starcrossed lovers

Summary: Growing up forced into the WLF organization for survival, life was boring. Secretly trading with a rival group, the people from jackson, something goes wrong. Nothing lethal like your group finding out youre trading with sworn enemies, letal like falling deeply in love with joel miller.

WARNINGS: fluff, strangers to starcrossed lovers, smut in later chapters, age gap, reader 23, joel 40’s mentions of death jokingly, angst in later chapters, fluffiest shit I’ve ever wrote

Sneaking out of wolves base was scary, dangerous. Yet it was a commute you made every Friday without fail. You’d made a promise one year ago with a broad scary man, you’d trade with him every Friday apon request on things the wolves had, and jackson didn’t.

You’d come across him on a late night walk to go stargazing, he was out for way more important reasons, coming home from a supply run.

“You know. Theres a whole apocalypse out here, ‘nd here you are fucking stargazing.”

You sat up clutching your pistol, pointing it at him. Your back damp from the wet grass you were just laying on. He doesn’t say anything more, just holding his hands up in defence. “Didn’t mean to scare you sweetheart, just surprised to be honest.”

You put your pistol back in its holster, hanging on your hip. You trusted him, you trusted too easily, especially in this world. The words of your parents telling you to shoot him, that you can’t trust anyone ringing through your eyes, yet you ignore it.

He seemed nice though. Who would just stare at someone so vulnerable, if he wanted to kill you he would have. “I guess its my only happiness, the world is shit yet the stars still shine so beautifully.” You said leaning back on your elbows, looking at him the only light being the moon.

He smirks, or you think, hard to tell, too dark out. “ya mind if i join you?” You shake your head, he lays his backpack and shotgun down, stepping towards you. You can see him clearer now.

Hes aged, at least forty. His hair is scattered with grey strands, he had soft brown eyes, wrinkles around the edges. Facial hair, to match with his hair, his knees cracked when he kneeled next to you. A tan jacket stretched around his wide shoulders, fairly worn.

He laid down about a foot away from you, a comfortable distance for a stranger you just met. He tucked his arms to cushion his head from the wet grass.

“What’s that accent? Not from around here, i’m guessing.” You said gazing to the stars.

He looked over at you, then back to the stars, laughing before replying.

“You apocalypse babies, know nothing ‘bout the real world but to shoot. You’re right it’s texan, ’m from texas”

You frown “Hey! We arent all like that, maybe the ones born later, but i was born at the start you old fuck.”

He gasps pretending to be offended. “So you in a group? Too pretty to be on your own.” He points to your freshly washed clothes.

You smile at the compliment. “Unfortunately, if I got caught sneaking out i’m sure i’d be hung.”

You look over at him “what group are you from? I don’t believe in all that enemy bullshit, don’t be scared.”

He laughs. “As if you’d be able to kill me anyways, jackson.”

Fuck.

“Oh.” Is all you reply with, If the wolves found out you were hanging out with someone from jackson, you’re sure they wouldn’t even give you the pleasure of a quick death.

“What?” He looks at you.

“Im a fucking wolf.” You pinch your nose bridge with frustration.

He sits up shocked. “Yeah right pretty, little thing like you, is a WLF.”

You don’t say anything, the silence makes him believe you. “Fuck you’re serious.”

“Its my parents fault, not like I chose it. Whats it like in jackson?” You try to calm the conversation, the building friendship.

“It’s nice, its like the world before. Fucking Christmas lights and a bar.” He turns to face you.

You smile. “Really? A bar? That’s luxury.”

He smiles back. “I ‘suppose, you even old enough to be in a bar?”

You groan. “Fuck you! Im twenty three. Not like its your business- uhh what’s your name, i didn’t ask.”

He lets out a yawn, it was late maybe you were keeping him from his soft warm bed. You started imagining him shirt off, cuddled up in a blanket, mouth open, snoring away. Oh god i need to stop you think.

“Joel, Joel miller. Not that last names really matter anymore.”

You smile, it had a nice ring to it, you tell him your name and follow up with. “Okay Mister Miller, i have to ask what don’t have in your luxurious place of jackson.”

He lays back down staring at the stars as he thinks. “Books. There’s not alot of books, theres this book i was dying to read pre apocalypse and i never got ‘round to it, practically my biggest regret”

You giggle. “Must be a good book to stress that much over it, what book?”

“Crime and punishment, its a Russian novel, a classic i guess” He looks at you.

You sit up. “NO SHIT. I have that book at home, i could give it to you, if its truly your biggest regret”

He smiled bigger than before. “You sure? You’re not reading it? What don’t those wolves have?”

You shake your head. “Read it about a million times, it’s good. Those fluffy woollen socks, they aren’t much of knitters i guess.”

He smiles “It’s a trade then, got a shit ton at home. Meet on friday?”

You nod. “See you then. Shit, im out way later then usual, i gotta go. Can’t get caught or you might never get that book, Miller” You frown, get up and brush the grass off your jeans, walk to joel and shake his hand.

He accepts it, his rough tanned hand engulfs yours. His hand is big, over average you think, veins litter the top of it stretching up his arm.

Walking home you couldnt shake the smile off your face, you met someone new. Someone nice, someone handsome.

You plop on your bed, grab the most desired book by him. Flip to the first page and with a pen you scribble. “Hope it lives up to your expectations, from your dearest.” Adding the finishing touch, a star.

All you dreamt of that night was Joel’s face with the cast of moon light.

When friday arrived you counted down the minutes till four. Same time as your first meeting, you exchanged your trades.

It couldnt just stop at that, no. You talked about anything and everything, ending with your next trade items for the next Friday.

Thats how Friday became your favourite day. Joel’s day.

My masterlist

AN: this is 100% inspired by Romeo and Juliet

This is mostly a prologue, how reader and joel met next chapter will be them completely known to eachother, reader so god damn in love with him.. maybe he feels the same. This was short as it is just a prologue. Check out my other works of joel and javi on my master list.

[riddleredcoats]

I just finished my first playthrough of Veilguard and boy oh boy, do i have thoughts.

but, TLDR:

Bros, this game is so fucking strange.

It literally giving me everything I wanted; every theory for the past 10 years I've had to speculate is bang on, they bring niche characters in a way that makes sense, they give us nice romances, they give us cool combat, EPIC set pieces and then [gestures].

Anyway, this is more for posterity than any real, coherent thoughts.

The Good:

I don't know what sort of wizardry the devs at Bioware made for this game, but this game runs smooth AF. Actually insane in the year of our lord 2024 that a AAA viddy game manages to do it. Kudos must be given.

The art-style grows on you really fast, actually. And considering what happens in the game, especially in the back half, I think making it more stylised was necessary to also compliment the aforementioned point of it running smoothly.

There is in fact, a lot of dark themes in this game. I don't know what game some reviewers played, but to say its basically a clean version of a DA game is... just wrong. I have a theory, in the Bad section, about why they believe that is the case, but Veilguard is filled with Dark Themes.

The set pieces of this game are fucking insane. Like, there is no comparison to any other Bioware game. Even ME3 with its bombastic set pieces isn't a match to Veilguard in the prologue. The Siege at Weisshaupt? Gagged the whole way through. That last 2-4hrs of game were amazing and while I have beef with it - further down - for what it is and what it is trying to be? They succeeded. Some of the best viddy game I have ever viddy gamed, frankly.

The lore drops are also insane. I basically watched all of Solas regrets back to back to back and basically it was confirmation upon confirmation upon confirmation. I'm still in the high of the Solas/Mythal confirmation and that happened like 3 days ago, lmao. And if you know me, you know why - it goes wayyy beyond Solas and Mythal for me, personally.

Morrigan's place in the narrative. Keeping it vague, but just [gestures to all of it].

Issenya... Just... Issenya, man.

The companions. Yeah, they're all great, I don't think there's really a dud one. Sure, I connected more with some than others, but man- these companion quests are involved and meaningful and progress the story. You do get to know them very well. Harding, Neve, Davrin and Emmerich will always have a place in my heart for their questlines, even though I love all the other companions too - but those really resonated with me.

Combat. Holy shit, a DA game with a fun combat system. That's all really.

The Middling

The music. I don't love it but I don't hate it. I can count on one hand the amount of times the music made me feel something - basically the last scene of the Harding questline and when The Main Theme came in during the final quests. Trevor Morris reigns supreme; I teared up more for The Lost Elf theme return than any other musical moment in the game.

The pacing of this game is... baffling. I'm not sure if its my own fault for basically trying to do everything in the first act, but Act 1 took me like 40 hours, while the remaining two acts took me 20. Weird. Will need to experiment because it might absolutely be on me, but yeah.

The Bad

It's basically one thing but honestly, every time it was brough up it was like a dagger piercing my heart while my stomach was stepped on by a bronto.

The lack of geopolitical talk both past and present.

Much as been said from the infamous 3 choices that Veilguard imports - and I will say, that even those 3 are laughably implemented imo - but never is it more felt than in this aspect. The past straight up does not matter. Worse; they actively disregard it imo. There is no difference between world states, no world leader talk, no nothing. It is just... nothing. And listen, the specifics deserve their own post eventually, but im just processing shit still.

The game is really fun, and the themes and characters that are there and the lore is fantastic and when im locked in, I'm REALLY locked in, but then when I try to put it in the context of the past games, what I loved about it - the politics, the disagreements, the sheer brutal way that history and prejudice can just fuck up a country, Veilguard just... it feels hollow, without any bite or flavour.

And this is the crux of all the problems, really, in the present in Veilguard.

The way people talked about the dark tone being gone? Yeah, I can see it here considering that there is no distinction between Dalish and City Elves anymore basically. The discrimination against elves is just... gone, apparently? Which is insane - because we are in Tevinter and it's just... abandoned? The way Rivain is all cool and shit about Magic and Spirits with like zero nuance or, more imporantly, any real consequences when [gestures to the past games] - it just makes the South Really Dumb because of course they are now ig. The Crows - these assassins that bought children to train, in what amounted to a sponsored slavery ring - are now freedom fighters and all the nuance of the assassinations is gone? The Wardens are fine mostly, really, but they are suddenly very above board all of the sudden.

And that's the whole thing here.

They have tried to make everyone stay so above board, to make everyone The Perfect Ally That No One In The Real World Can Criticise, that it retroactively sucked all the nuance and Flavour For Thedas At Large out of the story. It made the story worse because everyone is just so gosh dang nice and A Super Ally when in past games the conflict, the flavour of the Whatever Big Struggle was that everyone hated each other and was constantly in-fighting. Which made it fun and interesting to play.

Okay, sorry i forgot I had another one:

the fuck is that ending credit scene? with the executors implying they have been behind everything since DAO? Oh man, Bioware you can't do those types of stories - you tried in ME3 and [gestures]. Why can't Loghain just be a dude traumatized by Orlais which led to All The Things in DAO? Why can't Bartrand just be a greedy bastard whose actions bring about DA2 and DAI and basically informs Varric's character from then on?

What the hell.

Anyway.

Yeah, initial Veilguard thoughts.

Oh yeah, and Neve is hot and I love her.

[conanssummerchild]

my own ranking of every rick and morty episode, inspired by the lovely @fandomwe1rd0 :3

sorry this is a bit scattered, the random quotes are just lines that i liked/found funny. i had to shorten all my reasonings by a fuck ton bcs i was just going on forever lmao, so if some things feel kinda cut off, that's why.

i binged all of rick and morty in like a week to make this, just to make sure the ranking was fully accurate to me and it took me way to long but i'm finally done !!

btw this isnt a ranking of which episodes are objectively the best, its very biased and just my personal opinions, im aware some epsiodes definitely shouldnt be as high as they are but a lot of them are just my comfort episodes 🤷

f tier: episodes i actively dislike, have little to no redeeming qualities.

71. rickdependance spray: audibly said "oh, fuck no." when i realised this was next. the rest of weird-ish episodes have some redeeming points but this one just has no plot relevance and isnt very funny.

70. raising gazorpazorp: main reason i dislike this episode is the end credit, it reminds me of when i was listening to family line and my dad insinuated conan was making it up and that if i got famous i'd do the same, like, no, if i talk abt what a shitty dad you are its bcs you were a shitty dad, do better. anyway i just thought it was an unfunny joke. due to daddy issues. also its just a boring episode.

69. a rickconvenient mort: summer and rick's storyline was ok but not enough to make up for how much i hate planetina. i liked beth in this episode. rick and summer's dynamic was nice too, but unhealthy.

e tier: episodes i don't dislike, just find boring/have bad elements but more redeeming qualities.

68. m. night shaym-aliens!: the little crystal wrestle was adorable. other than that not a super memorable episode.

67. rise of the numbericons: the movie: i didn't hate it but compared to the rest of s7 it was pretty weak. i think mr goldenfold is funny, but not enough to get his own episode. it would've been more entertaining if rick was in it lets be real, i missed him.

66. interdimensional cable 2: tempting fate: i care very little about jerry's penis. the interdimensional cable was good as usual though.

65. how poopy got his poop back: fine episode, not my fav. i liked seeing bp and squanchy again.

64. edge of tomorty: rick die rickpeat: "Damn, Morty, you're bad at maths, but I'm giving you an a-plus in confidence!" an okay episode.

63. rick: a mort well lived: pretty weak episode to follow solaricks. summer's die hard was good. some cool emotional components.

62. rattlestar ricklactia: "Hey, Morty, listen. I can tell you're pretty upset about the whole snake encounter thing, so I'll tell you what. I'm just gonna go ahead and avoid you for the rest of the day." rnm were kind of cute at the end. yk, until rick punched morty in the face :/.

61. the jerrick trap: sorry ik a lot of ppl love this episode but tho burger & fries were cute characters its not all that for me. memory rick's return, however, was all that. i love him.

60. childrick of mort: "Oh my god, grandpa, you fuck boy." rick being a space nerd <3. loved to see more of beth and rick together but other than that this episode was kinda mid.

59. amortycan grickfitti: honestly made me feel bad for jerry which isnt easy, i sort of liked rick here, he seemed reluctant to let the hell demons make fun of jerry, he still did, but even apologised with only a little prompting. can't say the same for beth. summer and morty were sweet in this episode, i wish we would get more of them.

58. rickmancing the stone: "I don't know why I'm crying." "Well... try crying 15% less?" not bad, i liked the emotional components.

57. mortynight run: again, not super memorable to me. the roy montage was good. You kind of wasted your 30's, though, with that whole birdwatching phase." the animation for the song was great.

d tier: mostly okay to good episodes with minor faults that i can look past in the general scheme of the episode.

56. one crew over the crewcoo's morty: fucked up what rick did to morty. and to mr pb, his life went to shit after this, bcs of rick.

55. night family: had some great moments, but wasnt my fav.

54. anatomy park: loved dr bloom, john oliver voiced him perfectly.

53. lawnmower dog: sweet scenes between rnm. liked the dream inceptor, loved scary terry, snuffles was good too but not as much.

52. claw and hoarder: special ricktims morty: "Are you gonna slay it?" "First off, i always slay it, queen. Secondly, yes." summer being on morty's side was nice. while the soul orgy was a bit weird, the rest of this episode was pretty entertaining which is why its higher up, sorry.

51. bethic twinstinct: jerry saying he would khs, not cool jerry fuck you. "You ladies discuss responsibility while i get stoned and play video games with your kids." the end 💀 i felt bad but it was funny lol.

50. final desmitation: maybe my fav ep of jerry and rick's relationship. i liked seeing rick disapprove of them making fun of jerry, had some funny moments and i even liked jerry here.

49. a rick in king mortur's mort: not the best but i enjoyed rickbot being nice to morty. also this episode sets up for rmrm which i love.

48. promortyus: morty's little yee-haw 😭. and their conversation, so sweet. taking the adderall line as an adhd rick confirmation. "It is my thing. Just like yours is dying alone," get his ass. i feel like the romance couldve been a compelling story if the hosts werent rnm.

47. the whirly dirly conspiracy: rick's take on jerry was accurate. "But no, like father like goddamn daughter! You wanna be like Rick? Congratulations, you're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible!" morty ate. i prefered summer and beths storyline to rick and jerry's.

c tier: solid, episodes, some have a few faults but theyre small

46. mort: ragnarick: it's so high up because i found rick to be likeable and liked his dynamic with morty. ricks clone was cute too.

45. look who's purging now: "Screw you, Rick! I'll purge you too, you old rickety piece of crap!" rnm's storyline was great, i liked arthrisha.

44. the ricks must be crazy: "I dropped out of school. It's not a place for smart people." "Ohhhh, snap!" lmao literally my reaction. "Ooh. Wow. Gaaay!" "That is pretty gay." not much more to say, good ep.

43. never ricking morty: rnm were sweet in this ep. the gay ass song with rick and bp. "Rick are you– do you need to go to the hospital?" the forehead kiss was sweet. (we're ignoring "Lips if you want.")

42. mort dinner rick andre: mr nimbus is a great character. the wine storyline was a bit boring. "I havent been to a full week of school in years! I don't know shit!" love the peek at rick's backstory too.

41. rick potion #9: important lore episode. some funny bits. morty was a little creepy in this one. i love jerry primes character development. first look on down from the bridge moment !!

40. forgetting sarick mortshall: "What are you, eight? Is this macaroni art? You expect me to believe you built this because you don't care?" liked ricks storyline and he actually does seem to be showing minor development. the end song was good. liked garbage goober's lore.

39. morty's mindblowers: rick removing whatever memories he wanted was fucked up. rick saying granite instead of granted will always be funny. also him losing in chackers and skiing into a tree.

38. mortyplicity: entertaining enough if a little convoluted, i liked it though. sweet moment between the decoy family, shame they died.

b tier: good to great episodes.

37. big trouble in little sanchez: actually liked jerry and beths storyline in this one. tiny riiick !! "old rick! ruining everything!" good episode.

36. pilot: good intro, sets the tone. rick is such a dick (affectionate). rnm's dynamic !! the animation is great. overall great episode.

35. pickle rick: ik its a overrated but i think its good. hes pickle riiiick. dr wong's speech to rick was actually really good and accurate.

34. meeseeks and destroy: rick was such a whiny bitch this episode (affectionate), up until the mr jellybean stuff, which i liked bcs it was handled well by the writers and rick was actually very sweet.

33. rick and morty's thanksploitation spectacular: president curtis' alcoholic sci-fi boyfriend is probably my favourite way rick has been refered to in the show LOL. overall i enjoyed this episode.

32. something ricked this way comes: idc now but, the first time watching rick's r slur speech it was obnoxious and offputting. summer and rick were great, i adore their dynamic, love summer and rick episodes, but idrc for jerry's storyline, he bores me so bad.

31. full meta jackrick: "Rick can't change, Morty. Change is what you might call his Kryptonite." there were a lot of things i liked abt this ep.

30. vindicators 3: the return of worldender: very good episode. forever a believer that the ride was for morty and rick just chickened out.

29. a rickle in time: the va for the testicle monster was great. beth and jerry's storyline also wasn't bad. rick jumping into the hole and sacrificing his life for morty, im sobbing. great episode.

28. the vat of acid episode: morty trying to make rick feel better about not being able to make the thing was very sweet. morty's relationship with that girl was adorable, so sad it was erased by jerry's dumb ass /lh. fuck rick in this episode. the end was funny.

27. rixty minutes: while i do love interdimensional cable this episode would've been lower if it wasn't for all the character moments. "You can't leave, you're 17." "Yeah, and I'm not pregnant. I'm gonna have better judgement than you guys had at my age." loved summer getting screentime. beth and jerry's moment was quite sweet.

26. ricksy business: bp and squanchy !!! >:) bp coming through with the deep speech. the montage of rick morty and summer at the end is so adorable i love them sm <3. "I love my grandkids." "Aw :)." "Psych, just kidding, my new catchphrase is i dont give a fuuuck!"

25. get schwifty: first president curtis episode !! i love him. love morty and bp interactions haha. "In bird culture, this is considered a dick move." "It is random debris. I found it in my carpet. I don't know what humans eat." crying i love him sm. one of my personal favs lol :).

24. juricksick mort: tbh i mostly like this ep bcs of "You pompous autistic cadaver!" but there was other good moments and it was entertaining. rick was funny and likeable and very much a disaster of a human being, as i was promised when i started watching rnm.

23. star mort rickturn of the jerri: space beth !! "You cosplay as your shitty father in his 30's." "Its funny. I always wondered who would win if we ever fought." "Then you were always a bad friend." :(. "Holy shit, I'm a terrible father." i forgot how good this episode was, very angsty.

22. total rickall: genuinely love this episode. KEITH DAVID >:D. rick's "weird made-up sounding catchphrases" compilation is one of my fav moments in the show lol, everyone looks so concerned 💀.

21. rest and ricklaxation: "Grandpa's here." SOBBING. "Because you kept drunk-dialing me and crying about it!" "I wasn't crying!" loved jessica and ricks dynamic lol. great episode.

20. rickfending your mort: great follow up to unmortricken, i like that rick doesnt just go back to normal and we see it takes a while and even then its only bcs morty steps in. morty making up titles for all their adventures is adorable. great sweet scenes between rnm.

19. the rickchurian mortydate: autistic rick !! also minecraft. the president is such a pathetic loser lol <3. i loved rick and morty being on the same wavelength in this episode. the ending was good.

18. wet kuat amortycan summer: summer-centric episode !! rick was likeable, liked seeing him clumsy getting his grove back. him saying summer reminds him of diane again, he's getting so much more open, im so proud, can you imagine s3 rick being sincere like that?

17. close rickcounters of the rick kind: best s1 episode, love citadel episodes. evil morty !!!!! some funny moments. "You're crying? Over a Morty?" sobbing. "Yeah, but wheres the transmitter?" and the evil morty song oh god, best scene ever fr. i love my evil guy :3.

s tier: outstanding episodes, the 16 best imo.

16. that's amorte: FANTASTIC episode, the end montage is the only part of any rnm episode thats made me cry a little, it would be higher up but i have some personal favs which i put higher. i feel like this episode was very classic rnm after having them separated half of s7.

15. the old man and the seat: jerry and morty's dynamic is pretty funny. tony and rick's storyline was fantastic. some pretty angsty stuff. "The saaaddest piece of garbage in the entire cosmos."

14. the abc's of beth: rick and beth episode !! rick saying that an adventure clearly needs morty in it, aw. i did not care about jerry's storyline at all. beth had no right being so relatable in this ep.

13. ricktional mortpoon's rickmas mortcation: rick relapsing into finding prime !! "I'm not touching that thing. I'll get neurotypical cooties." ok, so ik a lot of ppl don't like the speech rick said to morty, but i do, he was going through a LOT, this clearly took him quite a few steps back in development and healing, i think it was less bad than a lot of other things he's done and way more justified.

12. fear no mort: loved morty getting his time to shine, LOVED diane and rick. morty realising rick wasn't in the hole has to be one of the best moments in the show. rick not going in the hole at the end bcs morty told him not to, hope some day he'll get to the point of doing things for morty in front of him so he can realise how much he cares.

11. analyze piss: look at rick asking dr wong for advice. him relating to piss master :(. also i read a phenomenal fic abt this ep (tw sh) (link).

10. air force wong: UNITY RETURNS! Rick was kinda childish in this episode but i feel like it was justified, he wasn't being a dick just bcs, he was hurting, and he even kinda apologised to summer, hes trying. rick going to drink with the president instead of being alone.

9. the rickshank rickdemption: RICK PRIME. "That, diane, is the last great idea that will ever be had in this garage." :((((. ricks backstory. "he's not a villan, summer, but he shouldn't be ur hero." fantastic ep.

8. rickmurai jack: love two crows rick. rick's full "crybaby" backstory !! "Now you're evil morty, too. sooner or later we all are. on this side of the curve." THE END OH GOD. THE MUSIC. EVIL MORTY LETTING OUT A SIGH OF RELIEF. INSANE finale.

7. gotron jerrysis rickvangelion: rick is so spectacularly autistic in this one. i like how he doesnt silly hyperfixtate, he full on unhealthy hyperfixtates. i practically know this ep off by heart. comfort ep fr.

6. rickternal friendshine of the spotless mort: im not sorry for putting this up so high, i love this ep so fucking much. memory rick is so silly i love him sm. "You were a good friend, Rick. Goodbye." the blood ridge confession makes me FERAL. i can quote it word for word.

5. the wedding squanchers: THIS EPISODE. rick watching bp die in front of him. rick turning himself in :(. "everyone i know goes away in the end." the music was so good. "he's not coming back, is he?"

4. the ricklantis mixup: best citadel ep, fight me. j-22 trying to save simple rick only to suffer the same fate :(. slick jumping into the wishing portal. the ending was phenomenal, every single storyline was amazing and important. and evil morty returns.

3. auto erotic assimilation: love unity and ricks dynamic. blim blam humbling beth and jerry. jerry using the weed whacker right in front of the garage where rick just attempted. and no one notices. bc that's how it is. "do you feel it?" is a great song. maybe this ep is higher than it should be but it's my comfort ep, it means so much to me.

2. solaricks: first time we get to see dimension c-137 out of a flashback !! "I hope Summer knows what happens to the people you love!" "Oh, am I cool enough for you now? Well, that was easy. It only cost me fucking everything." "I don't know him. You're my grandpa, rick." rip jerry prime, my fav jerry. THIS EPISODE IS PHENOMENAL.

1. unmortricken: ok anyone who knows me knows this is my fav ep bcs i never stfu abt it. i mean, evil morty backstory, rick beating prime to death, GOD. ian cardoni was COOKING with the delivery of those lines, and the lines were fantastic. some good rnm moments. the angst is so good. "How's it feel? Better? No? Exactly the same? Yeah, it always does." best look on down from the bridge moment.

i keep going over this a million times just to make sure everything is perfect but idk, some episodes are maybe interchangeable, im just going to post it bcs its been rotting in my drafts for quite a while now, everyone promise you dont hate me for putting an episode 1 slot too high or low /j

and sorry for all the jerry hate in this post, i dont hate him i just find him boring, so eps where he's the centre tend to be lower on the list.

[jam-packed]

i saw someone post abt the netflix show kaos (which is good u should watch it) and during my watch, i did subject my friend to who (in motogp) would best fit the characters in the show.

spoilers cus im gonna explain them within context and talk about the ending and my prayers for a season 2 :( and 3 actually but thats it.

going to separate this in groups of confident to 🤨🤨🤨 yk. anyways.

Set In Stone (to me):

zeus - TOTALLYYYY vale. eccentric bastards, but very entertaining, very likable in the beginning despite their wrongdoings. i feel like in a different world, vale would be wearing tracksuits around his big ass mansion but a guy has to find joy in dressing like a 15 yo boy so props ig (speaking of, i LOVEEE the wardrobe of this show. muy muy bueno to me.....) both have such an intense paranoia on how others receive them and their eternal impact on the world. its all about aging and their race to defy it, but they cant and that comes to be their downfall. regardless, theyre both crazy powerful and crazy in general they are like. the same guy.

poseidon - jorge lorenzo. in some inherent way. poseidon is jorge to me. theres the (for lack of a better term) jealously that poseidon has for zeus (in terms of hera) that jorge has w vale when it comes to personability/marketability. that, and the way poseidon acts is very jorge to me as well. the way he stands like hes in drag race. anyways, theres a nonchalance to poseidon's character and how he interacts with humans that makes me think, "yeah if jorge had this much power, he would act in this way."

hear me out here. hera - dani. not just because hera and poseidon are having an affair, mind you. but yes also mostly that. because im not knowledgeable about dani uh at all im going to base this on how ive seen him ride in the past. dani, to me, is an incredibly strong rider, hes very determined and sound in his efforts. but theres always someone stronger. and while that doesnt inherently mean he is fearful of them, i feel like within the context of the show, hed probably act in the same ways hera does despite how highly she considers herself. hera's a cunt in this and tbh dani is cunt to me with that crazy power i think hed be similar. also im not saying that dani sucks as a rider, its just. the vale/casey/jorge/marc of it all 😕 bad timing

prometheus - casey fuckin stoner, man. were casey and vale ever friends? idk im sure at points. they follow each other on instagram and casey loves to hate so idk. regardless, casey would be totally on board to help a cosmic plan to take down vale, would he kill his wife for it? real vale, no, zeus vale, its reaching towards the table. prometheus and stoner dont have the same humor, but theyre smart, they know how to act. even if casey isnt one for media, he can beat vale on a bike (ducatis on the straights omgggg). and prometheus and zeus are this weird battle of wits and intelligence. im not saying vale is stupid, im saying that he is blind to his insecurities and that can harm him in the same way it hurts zeus in this series.

marc has to have his own segment cus i could make arguments for 4 different characters. walk with me:

riddy/eurydice - stubborn, headstrong, cunt(y), defined moral code. riddy is such an interesting person within this show and i think marc is very similar to her in some respects. one of the main downsides though is the lack of codependency she has with literally anyone. shes not close to a lot of people, shes kinda isolated (from what i interpret, and idk if thats the fault of orpheus but for the sake of ease, lets say riddy does it herself), but she can connect with people easily. marc doesnt really do that. one, no álex, thats never gonna happen; two, he has a hard time being alone, their upbringings are incredibly different, which may have a major part to play in all of that, and that would kinda change who marc is (duh)---if he were alone all his life rather than surrounded by his closest friends and family, as he is now. so, if you want like. bezquez with a sour note, then yeah go marc eurydice, but idk its not my favorite. maybe luca or pecco (pecco is NOT riddy do not listen to me!!!!)

ari/ariadne - the brotherisms go crazy. very similar to riddy in that she is incredibly headstrong. she is not stubborn she is filled with guilt for something she didnt do my sweet lovely little pookiebear i should not be saying that whatever. so, ari's brother is the minotaur (shocker) and i think itd be interesting to explore marc's love for álex despite not knowing he's alive for YEARS (30 fucking years bro free my girl 😭😭😭). regardless, they are both smart, sympathetic to others, and get shit done when it needs to be. i think they match up as people pretty well, but we once again run into the issue of isolation and relationships throughout upbringing. ari does have some very close relationships as we see in the show (for a few episodes and then never again. ok.) like her father and her bodyguard. is that enough? idk maybe. makes me think abt santi........who will come up later actually. all to say, i think theyd make similar decisions to each other, i think marc if put in this story would be ari to an s (close enough, is my joke). anyways, marc is a good ari if you want a calm, semi-levelheaded marc (who kills someone) who will very likely end up with dionysus. but off the dome idk who dionysus could be. hm.

dionysus - he was my favorite in the show im sorry i want my faves to be each other. dionysus is such a character, hes so guy, i need him to get his cat back. ok, so dionysus is the son of zeus and he wants more responsibility/power---upsettingly, because of how marc is as a rider, i think this is why he ISNT dionysus. dionysus is a character that has to grow into himself (by learning about love ❤️) by killing his dad. haha i joke. but cmon. anyways in the context of dionysus's original goal, ehhhh not marc. but dionysus has this (again for lack of a better term) eccentricity that reminds me of marc. they have larger than life qualities but theyre quite mellow outside of that, they want people to be happy, they want love to prevail, if dennis was shiva he would do the exact same things dionysus does with that cat (carry it everywhere). theres a distance dionysus has with humanity that he loses over the course of the series, and i think thats interesting in marc's case cus once again NOT MARC!!! marc, from accounts that arent him (livio suppo is the only name in my mind rn) say that marc is very like. stable. hes a good kid, he doesnt let fame get to him (or at least how he treats others cus wtf is his house), and dionysus's arc is about connecting w humanity and i dont think marc would really have that problem. yes this was a waste of time yes it was just me convincing myself marc cannot logically be dionysus. this is my post man lemme do what i want :(

persephone - a lot of girls here. wonder what that says about how i view marc. womp womp idgaf. so, persephone is queen of the underworld, wife to hades. she LOVES hades and if we're thinking about old men and the young(ish) people that love them. santi. dovi. persephone is not one to lay down and take it, but hades is so gives me smth to play w in terms of who im going to make not a (I HAVE NO BETTER TERMS) pussy. persephone also loves love, she wants to help the gods because she wants to help her husband but she knows that isnt possible with what the gods (ZEUS COUGH COUGH) are asking them to do, so she defies them, she lies to them, she cares for her husband, she feels sympathy for dionysus and helps him to realize zeus is a lying bastard cunt. with great hair. marc to me. again, like ari, he seems the guy to put his money where his mouth he, he WILL do whats best for people cus he knows they deserve it, he wants to help, he will repay kindness, he doesnt forget (dionysus argument actually. repaying kindness this but i digress).

ares - ares literally isnt in the show yet. he got a technical mention in the last moments of the last episode but like idk......based on my knowledge of motogp and greek mythology and also his name is marc i think itd be cool.........put my man in the show give him a sword let him go ham let him kill god vale pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pl

marc my beautiful enigma u cannot be placed. except i think ari is your best bet at accuracy. especially if we're talking human strength and determination, ari n marc brother.

semi confident but could consider others

orpheus - marco bezzecchi. in my heart of hearts, as much as i love bez, he would probably act like orpheus. omggg hes so in love, he WOULD journey to the underworld but also hes a little evil hes a cunt hes a bastard hes cringefail but hes winning. except not really at all. orpheus has this tendency to. self-pity is my best assumption at a word. very whiny man. to me. cus i didnt really feel bad for him throughout the show. anyways, bez does have that intense loyalty that orpheus has, i do think he would do what orpheus does. bez is also kinda a cunt sometimes and i think he would say and do the twat things that orpheus does as well. the hardest part abt bezpheus is like. whos gonna fall out of love with him. you got a lot of options but they all kinda dont make sense yk? pecco just doesnt make sense w the character, cele does make sense he just probably wouldnt fall out of love or be in love in the first place, luca is also an option. luca marini my cringefail bestfriend who is famous and good at sports and doesnt know me, actually yea its luca. honda move, its luca.

riddy (again) - luca. it needs its own section ok i feel like i need to explain myself. luca, currently, looks like he wants to explode and die, he wants out of his fuckass brother's shadow (i dont hate vale im just full of vitriol) and if we transfer those feelings to loveless marriage, do we see how being hit by a truck and shipped off to the underworld and choosing to go to honda (I LIKE HONDA OK IM SORRY) are similar. did riddy choose to die? no its fate she doesnt really have a choice, but grand scheme of things did luca have a choice? idk, talk it up with a philosopher. im a math major, i could care less (lying).

caeneus (i think?) - álex. i think they look similar. i see caeneus and i go omg its álex márquez 2 time world champ in motorsports brother of marc márquez. also theres this weird like almost timidness that caeneus has that i feel is very similar to how álex acts and talks. hes kinda, and this is going to sound so mean to álex, average. however, he is meant for something more, he is more than the surface level by a long shot. and i think thats true for álex as well. caeneus is also very truthful, hes going to get mad at you, if he doesnt wanna tell you shit he wont but hes not gonna walk around it idly, and álex is a marc lie detector so. theres that. again, some downsides, no codependency brothers wth. anyways luca álex ship name. lucquez. aluca. lucalex. rosquez 2 less evil edition. this is so hard cus of fuckin marc bro free me.

not super confident but sure id consider it

dionysus - pecco. vale son, the favorite at some moments, biffs it at others. i dont think pecco has a problem with loving others in the way that dionysus does (aro dionysus slay) but i think theres mentalities that they both have (given by their respective parental figures) that hinder them in similar ways. pecco does not have dionysus's early personality. pecco is very calm, very controlled, (very mindful very demure) but he can also fight with someone after they crash into him, hes not gonna take everything lightly. idk if hes quick to forgive, nor do i know if hes privy to stew in his feelings. one of the primary relationships (thats explored in the show) dionysus has is with zeus. he visits zeus (the only child to do so), he gives zeus gifts (that get rejected), he steals from him (lmao), he defies him (yayy), he gets punished for defying him (NOO FUCK). turbo as dennis ough the thought brings me anguish. anyways, i think with dionysus being a sort of foil to zeus it works with pecco being a foil to vale. evil vale would say flopnaia is a disappointment tho. anyways, if flopnaia were dionysus, hed probably be feeling and doing and saying the same things as d is in the show. would he be as sexually promiscuous? probably not so yk. confidence low. but woah omg very likely marcnaia what a trip.

i dont wanna write an explanation cus this is getting too long but bez could also be considered for dionysus. literally any vr46 boy could lbr.

and tbh anyone else in the cast would confuse the shit outta me i dont know enough people in motogp in that way. i barely know the ones im talking about 😭😭😭 anyways pls diregard everything i said because it makes no sense to try to put people in the correct slots of other media, just write based on the person, not the character you want to portray, thats what makes them interesting, its what allows for different stories and outcomes. all to say i did this for nothing ❤️

[senseioftheseidiots]

Me with Canon Wu: You let your brother go get your stuff for you and look what happened. You made a 'friend' of a Serpentine and taught her something you shouldn't have and looked what happen ! You filled a young child's mind up with dreams and broke them down and look what happened !! And even now with the Ninja, you don't tell them a single warning before they go into battle and LOOK WHAT'S STILL HAPPENING !! And after all of that, I find myself-!! Me with Your Wu:...still coming back here even though I shouldn't because you really need help with your issues and everyone makes mistakes and your superior- Nah, nah, I'm kidding but in all seriousness, your version is kind of what I want to believe for the character now. I don't hate on the original Wu since you can't beat the original but you also can't beat the fanon ! So with lots of love, enjoy making more content for him !

This has been sitting in my asks because I completely forgot about it- so ill use this as a headcanon dump, thankyou >:) You throw out alot of points here on the segment for canon wu, so let me throw in things ive held onto in hc to all of it PLEASE NOTE MOST IF NOT ALL OF THESE IS HC ALONE/TIMELINE SPECULATION "You let your brother go get your stuff for you and look what happened." This happened AFTER the meet with aspheera I believe, after it happened the two were forbidden to go outside monastery walls without permission, completely isolating them from the outside world in hopes nothing like that would happen again. Wu at this point was incredibly afraid to disobey his father because if their punishment from last time was isolation from a world outside their monastery, what more could happen to them? [it only got worse from there, but we arent talking about that yet.] "You made a 'friend' of a Serpentine and taught her something you shouldn't have and looked what happen !" Wu genuinely just wanted to be friends with someone, being the sons of god the fsm was rather picky on who exactly got to see the two. And he's never made proper connections until now, through out the entirety of their childhood [before teens] im pretty sure all wu knew as companionship was his brother, and when he found someone willing to help them, he didnt want to think about the warnings for the chance that she might actually be good, and that keeping a promise was the way to gain a friend " You filled a young child's mind up with dreams and broke them down and look what happened !! " If were talking about morro here, ANOTHER HC TIME to fuel my delulu state, look- He didnt WANT him to fight garmadon, hear me out here- if you go back to the scene of morro being tested to be the green ninja, the sword of fire ISNT the sword of fire. My hc here is this is the ONE time he's tried to change destiny for the better. It doesnt mean morro was destined, no, this was going to happen either way, but he tried changing destiny because this wasnt morro's fight, and he was afraid of what may need to come if it DID end up being him that was destined. He didnt want that. But when he did do it and got his own student killed [he tried finding him. he tried getting him back, he didnt want to come back.] He gave up. And this is where his mindset solidified, he couldnt change destiny, people will die, and itll be his fault. This was his fathers punishment for him. " And even now with the Ninja, you don't tell them a single warning before they go into battle and LOOK WHAT'S STILL HAPPENING !! " This one is funny to me cause, one, wu doesnt know how to fucking trauma dump I dont think he would even be able to think about it unless someone asks him, its actually the 'it never came up' thing. BUT, he wouldnt want to say much too quickly due to Morro's incident. Hell he didnt even want the ninja to see the green ninja scroll. If he had said too much too quickly, well theyll either turn evil or die..or both-

" .still coming back here even though I shouldn't because you really need help with your issues and everyone makes mistakes and your superior- " Hehe, thank you!!! I hope you enjoy the buncha headcanons i have here for you

[terraliensvent]

thanks for being open to critique /gen

I sadly do agree with the anon on the pkmn blog rn bc I also noticed a change in how you respond aswell.

i can think of two examples straight off my head of when you seemed biased. srry to bring it back up but ya the first time was when the porn proportioned terra discourse happened. you spoke for the anon and changed the meaning of what they said to “oh they just meant kea should be more varied” when its clear thats not what ppl were upset about. the second example was when you also made it seem like anons who had imo very legit reasons to be upset about the way you handled the “speculation” were just being crazy out of nowhere. like you said they were like “you should die in a fire if u think this is ok” when no one said that, they were just rightfully disgusted and concerned.

ik this is a drama blog but the truth does matter too even when it means conceding that someone u disagree with was not bad in a situation or also that someone u agree with was bad.

idk i think u have been ok sofar but like yea if u learned from this it would make ur blog alot better like when it started

post related

example 1

example 2

prefacing my reply by saying im not arguing against the point this anon made or trying to paint my responses linked as “correct” or anything, just giving my reasoning for stuff

i will say that these 2 situations are the ones that have exhausted me the most when it comes to topics on here, which does further my point about how i can be bitter when topics get more aggressive. im not sure if i should take this as an issue with myself, or whether to show that being nasty to myself and others in my inbox just helps nobody. lets go with both!

starting with example 1, i felt like i made it pretty clear that i had my own interpretation of the comment, i think i even said as much within my reply. i will admit though i dont really have any sort of fondness for kea and their previous sexualization of terra adopts did leave a bad taste in my mouth regarding them. regardless, i think the reason i gave og anon so much slack is because of the (in my opinion) unbalanced response to it in the first reply. i think that there should be some more disconnect when it comes to critiquing a person ideas as opposed to the person themselves; what i mean by that is you can say “that comment you made or that idea you hold is misogynistic” without making aggressive assumptions as the person replying did. i think that maybe it makes it my fault for not being clearer that assumptions like that arent welcome here, or maybe its more my fault for having a very specific expectation of how people should interact. either way

example 2 i think has a bit of a shorter explanation, this specific ask set me off about the whole situation, since i agree it really shouldnt have gone on as long as it did. but as ive stated many times before i prefer to post everything in my inbox just to be more trustworthy as a mod and i was expecting that ppl could just let the topic die on its own. the assumptions thing was also happening here, and with the arguing going on it just pissed me off. i will say about the specific “die in a fire comment” that wasnt me so much saying that anons were claiming stuff like that, but rather me being hyperbolic in explaining my stance. i can be really hyperbolic on here when it comes to jokes and i can realize sometimes it isnt the most obvious thing, but thats my way of communicating for when im not being the most serious. with that specific situation, i was getting really annoyed that people were winding down to slapfighting, and if i presented the opposing anons as crazy or not really having a leg to stand on, thats my bad. i can see where both sides are coming from, it was just at that point in the argument i really just wanted it to be done and i maintain the stance that it really wasnt any of our business

i dont mean to present my opinions on here as the correct ones or that people who disagree with me are bad, and my responses on here are meant to be my interpretation of asks and how i see things personally. if i give my interpretation, it isnt meant to be like “oh actually anon meant this,” its more like “the way i read it is they could mean this, i dont have a ton of evidence one way or the other though so this is just my thoughts”

in the end though, i think both of these instances can be majorly chalked up to me becoming snippy, lol

[b0mblover]

Greed makes me sick. 

By: J

Woo fucking hoo, gotta love projection! (this was 100% self indulgent, idk how well it actually works with jiro but! Oh fucking well! At least im getting smth done ig) 

Cw; Selfharm, Suicide Ideation, Jiro generally being unhealthy, awful writing

Once again; sorry for your eyes, goodluck

Jiro laid in his bed, glancing at the clock on his phone every so often, around 21:34. Mindlessly scrolling through some of his friends' accounts, he never wanted to admit it, but he does in a way enjoy ‘stalking’ his friends, “friends” being mostly of people he's never met or talked to a day in his life, but that's never really mattered to him. 

Usually it's just to catch up on everything, ‘oh they finally got married’ etc. boring stuff, but why the hell not. 

But other times like today, it made him want to throw up. He was happy for them, sure, but there was a disgusting jealousy spreading throughout his chest, traveling down his esophagus, down to his stomach, and setting there. He’s felt it before, the first few times it happened, he thought he literally had to throw up, resulting in him essentially purging to get the feeling out; it didn't ever work. He gave up on trying, it usually went away on its own, just how long would it take was the question. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. It was all a possibility. The longer he felt it, the worse it became. He’d liked to say that it started off slowly, but it never did. Usually the first thing he jumped to was ‘I'll never be like them, no matter how hard I try, so what's the point in living?’ He wished he could say it was irrational, but it just wasn't. He knew due to one reason or another, he couldn't be like them, no matter how hard he tried, no matter for how long he never gave up. He would always fail. He wished he could also say that he had no desires, that would be a lie too. Seeing people do what you've wanted to do for years of your life, that you never came close to doing, so easily, it hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It. Hurt. and he wished he could say it didn't. He wished something so very mundane didn't hurt. He hated jealousy, he hated greed, perhaps that's why it hurt so much more. Because he was a hypocrite. It's not like he wished that they weren't able to do that, he just wanted to be able to do it too.  

Jealousy, is an odd word. People always assume that if you are jealous- that you wish ill on whoever you’re jealous of. But that couldn't be further from what he felt. Sometimes, it was tiring to constantly work and work for something others have so easily, that you'll never get. Why does life deal such shitty hands to people who care? Or is it the other way? Shitty hands in life make you care? Either way, it still made him sick.  

Somedays, he got off easy, he knew it's not their fault, sometimes motivated by a ‘you'll get there someday, you just have to keep trying’. Days like this though, that wasn't the case. Trying is pointless, not that he just feels like it, but it is. No amount of trying or wishing will ever work. Shitty hand remember? So if he couldn't do what he wanted, what was the point in living? Maybe he was crazy, fucking insane even, no one talks about this sort of thing, there's probably a reason, right?  

He sat up on his mattress, took a look at his phone, then tossed it across the room. He would’ve thrown it, but he didn't see a point in breaking the phone or wall if he was angry. He wasn't even angry either, just like there was a hole in his chest where his heart should be, and that hole was filled with bile.  

He looked down and stared at his hands, disgusting. Failure. He was a failure. He had good grades, sure, but it really didn't mean anything. Grades are just numbers, and numbers that didn't matter to him. If When he gets older, he's probably not going to be sitting on his deathbed thinking about how he got a 100% on a math quiz. But this?  

He stood up and walked over to his ‘desk’, clean for 4 months at the simple request of a friend. It's not like she’d know or find out if he did it. Well, unless he couldn't keep his mouth shut as usual. Even if she did find out, would she care? Would she even remember what was said? Ha. Maybe she’d tell him how pathetic he was, unable to go past a small styro, he is really pathetic, so it’d be fitting.  

Even if she somehow did ‘care’ as much as she said, wouldn't it be tiresome? That was one of the main reasons he stopped in the first place, taking care of people, even if you love them can be tiresome. So she was bound to get tired and bored of it. She’d probably grow to not care, part of him wanted that.  

He admittedly fantasizes thinks about what would've happened if he hadn't stopped, more than he should. 

Maybe she’d grow annoyed of his break/melt downs, maybe she'd make fun of him instead, he couldn't really blame her either way. Part of him wanted her to grow bored of him, but the other selfish part, hated the idea. Even now, he considered reaching out “You don't have to suffer alone, I’m always here, you’ll never annoy me.” but..  

He appreciated it, but it probably wasn't meant for something like this. What was the point? It wasn't like he was gonna kill himself, no matter how badly he wanted to. Sure, it wasn't a necessarily ‘healthy’ coping mechanism, but. It's not like he could do much damage anyways right? This was just like scratching himself when he was pissed off, not healthy, but what could anyone do? It didn't really hurt, so what would be the point in taking it away?  

Without caring enough to think it through, he picked up the blade, and sliced through the mid of his forearm. It stung. More than usual, but who even cares. He spun his chair around, then sat down. He brought the blade to his arm again- he really was pathetic, wasn't he? Slice- even if someone for some reason cared- slice- it's not like they should, he was pathetic and needy- slice- maybe some people in this world are supposed to die? Or suffer at least- slice- but, he didn't really want anyone else to suffer. If he met someone just as himself, would he hate them too? Or would he take pity? Slice- He smiled. His arm felt weak. Hand shaky. No one was coming to save him. No one knew of what he’d done. No matter what, he’s always alone. He deserved it.  

He stared at his arm for a few minutes, the deepest he’s ever cut, after not even 5 minutes, it looks pathetic again. God he's stupid. What if she somehow does find out? She wouldn't outwardly say how pathetic he is, she wasn't that type of person. She’d probably show some sort of concern. Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck FUCK. She’ll probably show some sort of care, attention. He didn't want that. Great. Now it looks like he did it all just for attention! Fucking wonderful.  

He glanced at his phone that had been lazily thrown on the floor, part wishing someone messaged, anyone, but dreading having to respond. No matter how much he loved them, responding right after this thing, he always seemed off, too off. 

He took a breath, trying to collect what little of himself was left. He should get something to drink. Yeah, that’ll probably make him feel at least a bit more level-headed.  

But there again, he is a waste of space, failure, etc. he’s heard most of the names by now mostly from himself but that didn't matter, does he really deserve something as simple as drinking? Even basic things do cost money, even if just a few cents. Why waste it on himself? But his throat is so dry still,,  

He walked out of his bedroom, hitting his face on the door, forgetting it was very muchly locked, precaution. He wanted to lash out, take every bit of anger out on it but then…. Nothing. Numbness. He didn't even have a good reason to feel angry. It was his fault anyways. He took a deep breath, unlocked the door, and walked out.  

Walking to the kitchen, slower than usual, he started to wonder again with how he was going to hide his awful wonderful misdeed. Makeup worked.. Well honestly for him it worked awfully. Nothing ever seemed to match in all lighting, plus that was only really an option for scars, tactile cuts didn't really improve much when paired with a powder or creme (?? sorry idk), plus it could run the risk of infection. Right? He's never seen anything warning against it so maybe not? But putting something that has chemicals like that into a cut, it didn't seem correct. Considering what minuscule things could cause infection. Not that he'd mind getting infected and slowly, painfully dying. He just didn't like the look generally.  

What could he do then? Wear a jacket like normal, sure, but she always finds out somehow. Gods know how, not him, but somehow. He could bandage it sure, but that ran the risk of even more questions, it wasn't exactly news that he didn't care about proper ‘aftercare’ like that. Sure, not properly covering it, cleaning the blade etc. could cause infection, but.. Well. He didn't have any excuses, he was just biased in some ungodly way that he never noticed right until that very moment! (Large cough. H e l p.) 

Grabbing a random cup, he decided to just tough it out like usual. Try to not show his arm in any setting but not be weird about it, try to act normaler than usual, sure it’ll suck, but it's between that and in his mind, ‘looking like an attention seeker’. He poured out what wasn't even 1/4th of a cup of water into the cup. His throat was just dry, it's not like he'd die from dehydration any time soon. Sure, he's human, doesn't that mean he just needs the absolute minimal amount of care? Hell, this couldn't even be considered minimal! He has a roof over his head, water, food, there's so much more he could go without, gods he's selfish huh? He sat down his empty glass beside the sink, very quietly laughing under his breath, pathetic, wasn’t it? He’s so selfish, he has it well, yet he acts like he has nothing! What more could he ask for in life? Stability? What a joke. He should really be more grateful. 

He stared at the glass glass beside him, staring into his distorted reflection. Well, at least there was always a way to fix it all. In the back of his mind, he was always running though, listing off methods, quickest, easiest, cheapest, messiest, etc. No matter how hard he tried, he’d never figured out the ‘perfect suicide’ in his own eyes. 

Though, recently, a method stuck his eye. Nitrogen gas. He’d heard it takes one out quickly, but makes them struggle and suffer beforehand. Perfect for himself. No time to back out because of how quickly it takes you, pain before death, he’d never wanted a peaceful one. It was near perfect. But one of the main issues was managing to get any. Or get around any in general. (little did Jiro know; he was only a few letters off from his actual suicide; that being Nitroglycerin!)  

But, he doubted it was realistic, for reasons already stated, so he was stuck with whatever other incredibly fucked method he inevitably decides on. It's not like he probably will anytime soon either, no matter how much he wants to. He walked back to his room, flopping down as soon as he was close enough for at least his face to hit the mattress. Thud totally comfortable.  

He stood up once again, actually closing his door this time. Then sitting on the bed properly, right, shit, his phone. No, no one probably texted, they're all busy. What can only be described as a mantra he mentally spoke, trying his best to not get his hopes up and what left of his heart shattered, even if he was always deep-down hoping, begging for any sort of message.  

He walked around to the far wall, and picked up his phone, quickly turning it around, anticipation and tension always left more room for disappointment. He seen the messaging app icon and- no one. A stupid update reminder. He’d rather’ve seen absolutely nothing than that. But whatever, they're busy, she's busy. He reminded himself, trying to subside the constant idea that they all fucking loath him for everything that he's ever done. But it's probably true though right? Of course it is. They all hate him. No matter how close, they all do. He’ll never change, will he? Why even bother at this point, he loved talking to them all sure, but why do they bother to talk to him? Pity? Perhaps. A disgusting feeling crept back up into his stomach and esophagus, it unknowingly had disappeared some minutes ago. Not like it mattered now. He tossed his phone to the side of his bed, on the ground, not bothering to charge it. It's not like anyone will message anyways. He's an idiot, everytime, everyday, why does he still feel such anticipation anyways? The answer didn't matter. He was tired. He didn't want to sleep, he hadn't gotten anything done, hell he was bored. But he had no energy to do anything. Just because of some stupid post. Sensitive. Weak. Pathetic. Why was he even still here? He's just dead weight to everyone he meets. What is the point. 

He laid there, he didn't know for how long, it didn't matter, he heard a door shut, they're back. He couldn't talk to them or face them like this. No. He’ll fake sleeping, maybe he’ll fall asleep in the process, that'd be nice, or if he never woke up, both seem ideal to him. 

He laid on his stomach, right arm obscuring his face, left in a weak fist. It was a default ‘I swear I'm asleep’ pose, shockingly comfortable too!  

Staring at the back of his eyelids, repeating bright colours and vague shapes started appearing, in a way it always felt a bit soothing, it was always there for him.  

Even when he wasn't there for himself. 

[oraculate]

whops im a little late sorry but here i (dove, s/h, certified hag) am and more importantly, here's ko lijae, your local fuckin weirdo. surprise surprise though, she's not just a pill popping drunk, she's also impulsive to a fault, an adrenaline junkie with a death wish, and an obsessive nightmare. she's giving oracle at delphi, or she would be if you romanticized it, but it's kind of hard to romanticize someone who very clearly does not have their life even close to together and is letting that show in a way that distinctly bucks social norms. but hey, who has time for social norms when you're touched by the gods, amirite? i'm more than thrilled to be here, haven't written in a hot minute so be gentle, but her pages are here: profile / bio / connections and there's a little bit more under the cut, msg for discord!

i'm not sure what to put that isn't already on the pages so here's a little mindless rambling for you in case something resonates.

ko lijae has premonitions, visions, etc.

her family is historically shamanic and has been for centuries, passed down from woman to woman as is oft the case.

now, granted, they're lowkey scammers so at least in very recent memory "real" visions and so forth are not a thing.

not to mention traditionally in muism shamans are more focused on connection to the spirit world/those who have passed so she's not exactly on brand religiously....

so needless to say the thought process in the ko household was 'yikes'.

and if it had been truly just an expression of mental health concerns she'd have been fucked because if there's one thing the ko family does not believe in its talk therapy or mood stabilizers etc.

as a kid she found a certain idea of solace in the idea that she was probably just experiencing sinbyeong or 'shamanic sickness' (recognized as a culture bound syndrome in the DMCA) that many soon-to-be shamans go through before they are fully initiated, often that are accompanied by reported auditory and visual hallucinations.

at this point in her life she's not sure she buys into the shaman thing fully, she's come to acknowledge her grandmother as a fake, but she also grapples with the idea that there's definitely something going on with her and it's certainly not purely based on mental unrest (though she's more than happy to admit there's a deal of that going on at this point) so a part of her at least wants to attribute it to something somewhat explainable, and figures it must have some kind of genetic component that could be related to how her family ended up shamans in the first place.

in the evolutionary game of fight or flight lijae has chosen a resounding: both. she'll fight you and she'll run from herself.

a lot of that running is done via chemicals of whatever type she can get her hands on, resulting in a chain smoking habit and alcoholism.

she has an exceptionally devil may care attitude, sharp tongue (mostly at her own expense) and a deep and feral loyalty to the few people who stick by her.

honestly she gives feral cat energy, like she might gnaw her paw off if she got caught in a trap and god help you if you corner her, but if you hang around patiently enough maybe eventually she'll come around. but she's got fleas and half an ear is missing and there's scars all around her muzzle so is it worth the time? maybe not.

anyway if you've got any sort of ideas about how this weirdo might be able to round out a plot for you either with or without the inclusion of her '''''gifts''''' i'm all ears!

[iratusmus]

Hii, I read that freakishly looong (but interesting) take on Fiona

Personally, I think the major problem for her in the comics was that she wasnt really of major importance to the writers. I think the writers thought of her as interesting at first then got bored of her and she was lost to the wind.

I think thats where the problem started.

Secondly, I think the freedom fighters were also at fault. I think they forgot that not everyone has the mental capacity to be a hero. Not exactly good person but I think they expected too much of Fiona. Im not saying this in a degrading way tho. I mean, she went through a lot and they expected her to be healed already, they expected her to suddenly see them as heroes and want to be good. They forgot that not everyone has that inclination. They expected too much and I think that also got her overwhelmed.

Im not sure if this makes sense but yeah this is my take on it.

its pretty clear that bollers and penders didnt have much investment in her character at all, but also that that point she was really just a tangentially relevant side character. like i said in my post, frankly before ian gave her a corruption arc she didnt really have much to offer in the first place. you cant really fault the writers all that much because she wasnt really meant to be of major importance. when ian took the helm as main writer he clearly thought she had potential as a character and utilized that through the corruption arc. she wasnt "lost to the wind", she just became a villain and, as such, didnt need to be on the main screen all the time. archie sonic has a lot of villains and it would be honestly a bit annoying if we spent all of our time with just a handful of them - theyre great characters and should be used accordingly! yeah she took a bit of a backseat in the "scourge+fiona+ss go to mobius and get whacked for it" arc, but like. come on they were clearly setting something up here

she comes back in journey to the east and is pulling together her own gang there, and then comes back in full swing in scourge lockdown, in which they were. also. clearly setting something up

the plan according to ian is i believe that scourge & fiona were gonna have an epic breakup and she'd take the destructix in the divorce, which tracks plenty enough with the setup that was being put in place.

also, honestly im gonna have to partially disagree with you on the second point. its a complicated situation and i think youre simplifying it a bit too much. fiona willingly chose to "become a hero" - its not like they made her. she literally couldve left at any point in time to just be a normal civilian (which is... literally what mina did. nobody had an issue with it, even though mina's superspeed wouldve been a massive aid in battle. she wasnt equipped to be a hero in that way because, like you said, that kind of life really isnt for everybody).

also, the freedom fighters frankly cant be everybody's personal therapist - theyve all got so much baggage themselves and they cant even address that because theyre all in the middle of a war 😭 i dont think its that they expected too much of her - id say its much more in the direction of that they didnt even really consider what she went through or how it wouldve affected her in the first place. its less that she got overwhelmed and more that she was functionally an outsider who had no support system and no friends to stick up for her or try to really make her feel like she was one of the team - not out of malice or anything, but just because nobody really ever thought about it in the first place.

overall its just a really messy situation and while fiona made the bad choices that she did of her own volition, there were real reasons behind why she made those decisions in the first place

[internet-overdosed]

What's the point of living? like, genuinely. All i do is wake up, dread the day, power through the day, and then go home and go to sleep.

There's not much to it, I'm not smart, i never study even though i want to, and when i do get the motivation to study i never actually remember anything. I'm a below average student, no one in my family would be proud of that.

I have classmates who consider themselves my friends but honestly i feel no connection towards them. People online are a similar story, i do care about them though. Sometimes i love someone so much it flips a switch in my brain and i start hating them or i start being so scared of them that i cry whenever i even see their name.

I have no one, and no one has me. I'm in a constant cycle of loneliness but its no ones fault other than my own.

I don't have talents, i suck at everything. And even in the things i have skill in, its never enough, im always worse than the people around me. Art, music, dance, everything.

I'm ugly, im overweight, im just a fly that happened to land on an incomplete masterpiece. a fly that dies from being trapped in the drying paint.

I have a terrible personality, a personality i steal from the people around me. And right now ive stolen it from someone who didnt care for me or my friends and deeply hurt them.

I've hurt so many people. People who loved and cared for me. I've abandoned so many people. I myself am scared of abandonment, which is why i leave people first. Which is something i didnt even notice about myself until my best friend (who i later abandoned) pointed it out.

When i try to make friends or talk to people i always mess it up and say the wrong thing, they always end up hating me or thinking i hate them and i just dont know what to do anymore.

I'm always sad and lonely and i just wanna die. I don't even deserve to feel that way cause ive had a pretty good life.

My mom tried her best, she had a fucked up life and turned into a fucked up person. She tries her best though. She deserves better than some rat child who hates her because her best just wasnt enough apparently. sure, i live in a room where theres no space cause theres trash everywhere, i have to share a bed with my mom, but thats nothing compared to everyone elses issues.

My life doesnt matter, its just a cycle of pain i put myself through.

I just want one person i can love and who loves me back, thats all. Thats all i want before i end my miserable little life.