#at the same time though I don’t even want to try because there are other people who are better lol

[remxedmoon]

so all you need to do right now is disappear.

HHHHAPPY ISATVERSARY EVERYONE. here’s redraws for every single battle cg in the game. 36 drawings this time around, with 11 of those being custom (though admittedly a good portion of those are edits). combined with the portrait redraws i made back in september, i’ve made 114 redraws for this project! jesus christ! just like those redraws, these are completely free to use!! as long as i’m credited and it’s not for commercial purposes, go wild!! do whatever you want!!!

no i didn’t make these for isat’s 1 year anniversary this is just wildly good timing.

i genuinely can’t fit all of these cgs in one post even with the 30 image limit on browser, but i’ll still try to fit Most of them below the cut (without making this post horrifically long), along with some notes that might be important 👍

okay! once again, i labeled all of the custom art as such in the drive, but if you want a full list, the customs are hatless siffrin jackpot, bonnie jackpot, bonnie special attack, bigfrin attack, and a bunch of alts which are definitely not related to any projects i’ve been thinking about don’t worry about it. and out of those customs, only like. 3 of them are actually completely from scratch.

while i did my absolute best to keep the aspect ratios completely the same as the originals, there’s 3 exceptions that i just couldn’t get to work.

isabeau’s hair in his special attack cg wouldn’t fit in frame if i kept things completely accurate to the og, so i moved his cg down a bit. it shouldn’t cause any issues with modding or anything, it’ll just appear slightly lower than it does in game. alas…

isabeau’s sleeve and mirabelle’s hair made their jackpot sprites a little larger than the originals? i’m hoping this doesn’t have too much of an effect (since the jackpot sprites have inconsistent sizes) but i can’t test this myself unfortunately. aaa feel free to let me know on discord if any problems arise!!

i managed to fix these, so they aren’t going to cause problems now, but my original drawings for mirabelle and siffrin in the final attack scene were a pain in the ass to fix. mirabelle’s sprite was slightly too talk to fit in frame and siffrin’s hat whacked bonnie in the face while i was editing everyone together. i’m only mentioning this because it took like an hour and a half to fix them and finish the scene.

all that aside, these were a fucking BLAST to work on. apparently this ended up taking 57 hours over exactly 10 days. which is a little worrying if you do the math on that but somehow i have not burnt myself out. i will be doing enemies at some point!!! but probably not for a little bit. i think my friends will actually kill me if i don’t take a break.

once again, happy birthday isat. you’ve ruined my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way (silly).

also, on an actual serious note, this little timeloop game has genuinely changed my life for the better? you guys are probably sick of hearing it at this point (or maybe not, i don’t talk about myself That Much. i hope), but i was practically a ghost for about 2 years before joining this fandom. it’s a little surreal to suddenly have friends (plural!!!) and people who Care about me, or even know i exist, honestly. it’s weird!! in a good way!!!

i don’t think i would’ve ever come back to social media if this community wasn’t so welcoming. i’ve met a lot of really great people through this game!!! so, uh, thank you isat, i guess. here’s to another year.

[luveline]

would you be able to do hotch’s adult daughter meeting the team?

—Hotch introduces his daughter to the team. 1.3k

“Aaron?” 

He’s grateful you didn’t call him Mr. Hotchner, but dad might not hurt. “Everything okay, honey?” he asks the phone. 

“Sure, um. This might be presumptuous and, like, embarrassing for me, but my last class got cancelled and I was wondering if I can come to your office today?” 

He feels his brows rise of their own accord. He checks his watch. You’ve picked a good day to want to come. “Sure, it’s quiet here.”

“You don’t want me to explain why?” 

“Presumptuous and embarrassing for me, I thought it might be to see your dear old dad.” 

You laugh funny on the other side, like Jack when he’s surprised. “Kind of. I do want to see you, but I was wondering what it’s like. In the FBI, I mean.” 

“You’re interested?” 

“In working there?” you ask. 

“It’s fine if you were, you don’t have to worry.” 

“It looks too intense for me, but… yeah, I guess I want to know what you do all day. I don’t know anything about that part of your life, and it’s such a big part of it.” 

He’s trying hard to say Yes to you at every opportunity, and this yes is easy. He sends a car to get you because he can, preparing himself for a lot of fawning and surprise. The BAU team, namely, Spencer, Derek, JJ, Emily, Dave, and Penelope, know who you are, but the office itself has little knowledge of you. There was chatter the day you turned up here unannounced. You haven’t been to the office since. 

He exits his office and finds Spencer, Emily, and Derek in the bullpen doing their paperwork, among other things. Derek’s peeling an orange. Spencer has his nose in a book despite a hand on the computer mouse. 

“Are you ready?” he asks them. 

“For what, the round table?” Emily asks. 

“Y/N’s coming into the office.” 

Three backs straighten in unison. “The kid?” Derek asks with a grin. He’s the only one who’s actually met you, and it drives the others mad with jealousy. 

“My kid, yes,” he says. He can’t help smiling. “She wants to see what we do. Please don’t show her anything with blood or gore, though. Please.” 

“Scout’s honour,” Emily says, standing from her desk to brush herself down. “Out of everything that’s happened when I started here, is it strange that this is the craziest?” 

“It’s up there,” Spencer says. 

“It’s certainly the nicest surprise I’ve had,” Aaron says, not quite missing the look Emily and Derek share even as he spots you at the office doors with your visitor’s pass clipped to the belt of your skirt. 

He walks to meet you, lest the sheer sea of faces intimidate you. “Everything okay?” he asks. 

You pull your jacket tighter around you, but it’s not a warm thing —if anything, it seems to be a stiff cardigan, grey and white plaid with ornate buttons. “It’s freezing out there.” 

“You’ll feel much warmer in a minute. The heat has been on high all day, JJ’s orders.” He slips his hand behind your back and shepherds you to the bullpen. “Honey, these are some of the members of my team. Supervisory special agents Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid.” 

“Emily,” Emily says, thrusting her hand forward to shake. 

“Spencer,” Spencer adds, managing to escape a handshake as Derek steps in. 

“Derek Morgan,” he introduces himself, shaking your hand with a warm smile. “I can see now why you were reluctant to tell me what you were here for.” 

Your smile goes sideways, like you’re startled, but pleased nonetheless, “I– honestly, I thought you’d make me leave if you heard what I had to say. It’s still not believable.”

“You sound like him,” Spencer says. “Not masculine, but–”

“Mellifluous,” you and Aaron say at the same time. 

“Exactly.” 

“Freaky,” Emily says, though her smile is brilliant. 

When Aaron sat the team down to tell them, it wasn’t because he necessarily wanted to. He loves you as any man loves their child even if he still has mountains to learn about you, and the urge to brag about you doesn’t go away, but he was hoping he wouldn’t have to answer so many questions about you at the time. As far as anybody in Aaron’s life knows, he and Haley haven’t ever split, it was a private parting, and so the first thing he sensed from everyone was a shift in image. “I didn’t cheat on Haley,” he’d said quickly, with a suffering sigh, “we were broken up at the time.” 

“Like, on a break?” Emily had asked, cringing. 

No, not really. Aaron assumed he and Haley were broken up permanently when he slept with your mother, but that brief relationship cemented for him that he loved his now-wife. Now that the team know he’s not an adulterer, the only thing he has while presenting you to them is pride. 

“Y/N’s class was cancelled today, so I’m going to show her around the office and give her some insight into what we do here,” he says, catching your attention with a grin. “It’s not as though you need today's lecture, hm? She’s nearly the top of her class.” 

You shake your head at him, beaming but mortified, “Don’t.” 

“If she didn’t work so hard–”

“He’s trying to get me to quit my job,” you tell the others. “He’s overbearing.” 

“We know,” Emily says. 

“I just think that now is a time for studying, and you’ve worked hard enough already.” 

You shift marginally closer to him. Most people wouldn’t notice, but Aaron does, and he suspects his team do to. “I’m fine doing both,” you say. 

He’s sure he’ll win the argument one day. For now, he escorts you through the office to the round table, then his office, pulling you into Rossi’s office for a charming hello and then to JJ’s, where you’re greeted with excitement and a disarming amount of love. Aaron forgets sometimes how much he and his team have been through together. You really are a good surprise. 

“Where are we going now?” you ask, following Aaron down a long corridor. 

He smiles. “You don’t have a sensitivity to high-pitched noises, do you?” 

Your confusion is plain on your face. Aaron takes you to a familiar door, placard reading in big, black letters: PENELOPE GARCIA, BAU TOP TECH AND DATA ANALYST. It’s surrounded by pink heart shaped stickers. 

He knocks the ajar door politely. “Garcia?” he asks.

“Sir?” Penelope says back. 

He eases open the door with his foot. Penelope turns in her chair, blonde hair in windswept curls, her lips painted a pink-orange. 

“Garcia, this is Y/N, my daughter.” 

Penelope’s mouth falls open. “I know who she is,” she says, nearly monotonous. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say. “I’ve heard so much about you. I love your trinkets,” you add, nodding at her wild desk. 

Penelope gives Aaron a pleading look. He nods. 

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god!” Penelope says, rushing forward to throw her arms around you. “I can’t believe you’re here!”

You laugh and bow gently under her weight. “Me neither,” you say sincerely. 

“Oh my gosh. Oh my god,” she says, pulling away to smile at Aaron, “she sounds like you, you weren’t kidding! How is it possible that she sounds like you?” 

“Strong genetics?” he suggests. 

“I’ve never been this happy in my life,” Penelope says. 

He watches you take Penelope’s excited hand and thinks, that makes two of us. 

“You’re so adorable, I’m looking for Hotch in your face but you don’t look like him at all. But your clothes! You’re so cute, like a baby politician!” 

“I’m almost twenty three.” 

“So young,” Penelope fawns. 

[tjwritesfanfics]

Three's company (Spencer Reid & Chip Taylor)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (ft. Chip Taylor)

Summary: Spencer finally says yes to your request for a threesome and you choose his twin brother, Chip.

Rating: Mature 18+ only

Warning: Threesome, oral (male receiving), masturbation, p in v sex (Unprotected. Guys you know the drill. Be safe)

Words: 983 (Not a long smut sorry)

Main Masterlist | Criminal Minds Masterlist | Other MGG Characters Masterlist

“You can tell me”

“No, I really don’t think I can.”

Spencer ran his fingers over the skin of your hip, enjoying the view of you post orgasm. The topic of different things to try in bed came up and when you thought about it, you knew you couldn’t bring up your wildest dream… again.

Spencer doesn’t share well. He never really has, but when you asked to have a threesome he hesitated and when he said he would think about it, but it depended on who it was, and you said his twin brother, he flipped.

“No way! I won’t share you with my brother.”

His words echoing in your head even now when your brain is on a high from the new thing Spencer learned to do with his tongue. Sometimes bringing up the idea of watching porn with your boyfriend was beneficial.

“Is it the threesome thing?” Your silence was enough of an answer for him. You could see him enter a deep state of thought, genuinely thinking of if he wants to share you with not only another person, but his own brother. His TWIN brother. The men in his family were really good at giving, a fact he was unhappy to know about his father and brother, and what if Chip was better than him? 

Though he doesn’t know what makes you weak in the knees. He could try with all his might, but Spencer would be the end for you… Right?

In the end he knew he would give into your desire, even if he wasn’t that comfortable with it, because Spencer would give you the moon and the stars if he could.

hich is how he found himself agreeing to your request. Your squeal of happiness was the immediate reassurance that he made the right decision, but then a few days later when you were on your knees, in HIS favorite purple lingerie no less, sucking on his brother’s dick, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

“After all that happened to you, Chippy, I just want you to feel worshiped.” Was the reasoning you gave to Chip as you slid down to your knees in front of him, wiggling your hips for Spencer’s view from where he sat in the recliner you requested be in the room, and undoing Chip’s jeans.

You whimpered at how hard he was already, the tip a bright red. And without warning you had swallowed Chip whole, his brother’s head falling back and letting out a loud moan.

Spencer smirked a little at the sight, knowing how warm and wet your mouth was and what it was like to experience it for the first time, despite the little green monster sitting on his shoulder telling him that he should tie Chip up and make him watch as Spencer fucked his woman into submission.

But all he could do was palm his erection to relieve any form of pressure. He told you that he would go along with this and do as you wanted.

And right now you wanted to devour his brother’s cock while he seemed to lose his mind.

“Oh fuck!” Chip moaned, his hands searching for a perch in your hair, gripping harshly which caused you to moan around him, the vibrations sending him over the edge, his cum spilling into your mouth.

You pulled back, swallowing what you could before turning to Spencer, opening your mouth to show him that you finished your meal.

“My good girl always knows how to please, huh Chip?”

Chip nodded, his cheeks flushing at the authoritative voice that came from his twin. While they were the same in looks and everything, they were also so different. Spencer was smart and Chip was a bit dumb, sweet, but dumb.

And it seems that they were also different in the bedroom as well, Spencer seeming to stay in complete control despite the little minx currently crawling towards him and crawling into his lap.

And Chip? He came so fast that it was almost embarrassing, but no one had ever had their mouth on his dick before. He wasn’t used to the sensation.

But one thing was for certain, he wanted more. Though it was Spencer’s one rule, no fucking his woman, he wanted to defy his brother and have you.

He wouldn’t, because he respected Spencer, but god did he want to. Just the thought of taking your tight little pussy had him hard again.

Your mewl pulled Chip out of his thoughts, his eyes seeing that Spencer had already started what he wanted to do, panties of the lingerie pushed aside, his brother’s cock buried deep inside of your cunt as you rode him with all your might, which even to Chip he could tell that it wasn’t for you.

Spencer’s smile said that he noticed Chip’s stare and as if it was what he was waiting for he planted his feet firmly on the ground and fucked up into you. You screamed at the sudden force, falling forward and submitting to Spener’s assault.

Chip couldn’t stand it anymore as he wrapped his fist around his cock, pumping in time with his brother’s trusts. Faster and deeper, Chip couldn’t tear his eyes away from the spot where Spencer’s cock disappeared, the wet slick of your pussy glistening in the dim light.

The three of you moan in sync, the sensation becoming too much to handle. Chip came first, his cum spurting from his tip and over the floor, you shortly after, Spencer’s assault of your G-spot having you seeing stars.

A few more thrusts and Spencer came deep inside of you, painting your insides white with his release.

As much as he hated to admit it… That was the hottest thing the two of you have done in the bedroom in a long while.

Maybe Chip can join again, but only on his terms.

(Banners by cafekitsune)

[f1amour]

˖ ࣪ 𖥔 NO ONE NOTICED — CARLOS SAINZ

[social media au + some real life]

pairing | carlos sainz x mexican!reader

face claim ★ danna paola

content warnings | age gap (reader is 22) angst, suggestive content

authors note | not spell checked. based off no one noticed by the marías. if anyone would like a part two with a happy ending let me know <3 posting this to start off some manifestation that carlos wins the vegas gp please just one more win with ferrari 🤞🏼

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liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmmundt, landonorris, bellahadid, dulcemaria, and 842,496 others

yourusername monza gp was amazing as always. now off to my home for a little break 🇲🇽🤍

➥ view comments below

user1 she ATE every single outfit at monza

user2 girl might as well post carlos in the second slide we all know that’s him😭

alexandrastmleaux pretty girl 💓💓💓

yourusername please that’s all you 🤍

carmenmmundt hermosa! can’t wait to see you

yourusername reuniting so soon i love you😭

user3 kind of new to the fandom but how does she know so many wags??

user4 she’s a singer and occasional youtuber who was invited to sing the national anthem of mexico at the mexico city gp in 2021. it’s been rumored she has a fwb situation with carlos but never been confirmed even though she’s been spotted in his garage at multiple races

user5 carlos needs to make it official atp she’s his biggest supporter despite him constantly saying he’s not in a relationship and doesn’t want to be in one

user6 our girl deserves better if he wont appreciate her then let her find someone who will

♥️ yourusername liked this comment

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SEPTEMBER, 2023

You walk close behind Carlo as he makes his way back inside the house after having a relaxing day at the beach he’d saw the dms from random people about you liking a certain comment “It was an accident. I thought I was liking Carmen’s comment and I don’t know my thumb slipped or—.”

“An accident? You responded to Carmen way earlier that comment was made hours later. Just stop lying for once in your life, yn!”

“No that’s now fair, Carlos. You say I lie all the time? I lie for you! I don’t want this anymore. I want something real…that’s the truth.” Your eyes well up with tears overcome with emotions you sit on the bed feeling deflated.

Carlos sighs and sits beside you, “Y/n��we said from the beginning this would be—.”

“No feelings attached only sex because with both our careers being busy a relationship would not be healthy for us. I have that memorized, Carlos. I know we agreed to that and it was going well,” You quote what he had said to you the night after the México City Gp in 2021 where you two had spent the night together.

“I thought I could have sex with you and have no feelings for you but how can I not? You…you always know what will cheer me up. You are the first person I call or text in the morning even if I’ve had a busy week. You know exactly how I take my tea or coffee, you kiss me with a passion that makes me believe you love me too, you hold me like you never wanna let go…how can I not fall in love with you?”

And there it was. The three words Carlos had been trying to avoid from you not because he didn’t feel the same way but he knew his life and your would ever be stable for a relationship. Among other things he just knew this may not end right if you got into a relationship but now looking at it, this situationship was ending now.

“Y/n…I don’t feel the same way.”

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SEPTEMBER, 2023

liked by yourusername, user1, user2, user3, and others

smoothoperator_updates carlos has won the singapore gp!!! this is a huge accomplishment after redbull dominating season so far. congrats carlos! 🏎️

➥ view comments below

user1 anyone else see yn like this post? why was she not there😭

user2 yn in the likes because she unfollowed carlos…my heart is breaking

user3 they definitely ended their relationship or whatever it was after the monza gp just a few days later she unfollowed him even though he still follows her

user4 y’all go check f1gossiponthepaddock recent post…carlos is horrible for that

f1gossiponthepaddock spotted! carlos sainz cozying up and kissing mystery brunette at a club celebrating his singapore gp win. sources at the part said he never left her sights and was very hands on. quite a fast rebound after being spotted with y/n y/l/n just a few weeks ago.

comments are disabled.

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NOVEMBER, 2023 • PODCAST INTERVIEW

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yourusername posted a story !

slide 1 tan lejos de mi, te sigo pensando. me canso llorando.

carlossainz55 posted a story

slide 1 i wanted to stay, i wanted to be there. i wanted to hold you, but i was afraid. i should've told you.

[granny-griffin]

1. There are a lot of people who think they're the only one who would speak up. Imagine what would happen if everyone who thought they were the only one... Spoke. But even if you do think you're alone... Why is antiracism not worth standing alone for?

I mean I think it is, and I’ve done it (or tried to). But I do tend to second guess my interpretation of a situation a lot more if I haven’t seen anybody else say something—maybe people sometimes aren’t sure if what they’re looking at is racist or not, and then decide not to do anything with that uncertainty because it would require thought.

2. There is a difference between feeding the trolls and speaking up when something wrong is happening. Do you feel people are more comfortable assuming the former so that they don't have to interact via the latter?

I think people are taught that the latter only exists in real life, and that if you try to do it in fandom you’re just yucking someone’s yum. People who do the second one generally receive the same kind of pushback as people who do the first one (even though they don’t deserve it).

3. Why do we think that bigotry will go away if it goes unaddressed? Is that how you also feel about bigotry that you experience via your other identities?

Because trolls go away when you don’t pay attention to them. But like you already said in question #2, those situations aren’t the same. People are drawing a false equivalence between the two. And as far as bigotry I experience in fandom—I think I just assume that it will be there and not go away no matter what, and I’m pleasantly surprised when that’s not the case. But that’s not really the point of this.

4. Why should we entertain and prioritize the annoyance of bigots? Why do you not deserve to be here and have a safe, comfortable space any more than they do?

I want to annoy bigots XD I love the excuse. Honestly not sure why more people don’t feel this way on tumblr, the website that’s all about being as annoying as you please.

At the same time, I want the annoyance to come because I’m giving them a message they don’t want to hear, not because I’m also being a jerk about it. Maybe it’s weird, but I care about bigots because they’re people, and their bigotry hurts them too, and I want them to listen to me long enough that they hear what I have to say and change what they’re doing. But even that isn’t a reason to try to keep from offending them—coddling somebody in their bigotry isn’t kind either.

I do think that people often don’t want to offend bigots who are good at creating fanworks, because they look up to them as a creative and/or don’t want to drive their skill away from the fandom. Yeah—the better you are at fanworks, the more you can get away with.

The second question is hitting me really strangely—yes, I think everybody deserves to have a comfortable space, and I want to defend that for others. I don’t know if I care to defend it for myself.

5. What do we plan on doing when Black fans lose their patience due to disillusionment? Are we okay with the outcome of that, of choosing... Well, being racist but safe? (Be honest with yourself!) Would we rather Black fans just accept that it's easier to assume everyone is antiblack, the same way it's easier not to speak up against it as a social norm? If we want to show that there is still a welcome for Black fans, that we are safe, why don't we act to show that?

I mean I plan to listen to them, even if I don’t like the way they’re presenting their frustrations—if somebody’s mad at me for something that I really did (or sat by and failed to stop) then it’s so not my job to critique their attitude.

I don’t think I’m okay with the outcome—that’s why I’ve spoke out in the past—but the parenthetical is psyching me out. Maybe I do ignore things out of fear! I’ll have to keep introspecting.

I don’t want Black fans to assume everyone is against them, and I don’t think other people want that either—but I think fixing the situation requires people to be proactive. I think a lot of people think that just not being antiblack is enough, and then don’t think about it any harder. And so nothing happens, because instead of looking to do something right, people are only trying not to do something wrong.

6. If everyone only hangs around people who aren't antiblack, why is the space still so overwhelmingly antiblack? Have you considered that you cannot adequately judge from within?

YES 100%!! I don’t think we can accurately judge from within! This is one of my biggest struggles—it goes back to my answer to #1. I want to speak out against racism, but even though I’m trying to educate myself so that I can spot it, sometimes I’m really not sure. And calling somebody racist feels like a really big accusation—if it lands publicly in the right way it could get somebody blocked by all their friends. I wouldn’t want to do it to mistakenly. So I’ve been trying to watch and see when Black people call out racism so that I can amplify/support what they’re already saying.

But maybe we need also to have a less all or nothing approach? If we aren’t sure if someone is being racist, we could start a more private conversation to tell them about our concerns, and see if their response sheds any light on the situation. Sometimes I ask people leading questions about their thought process when making something instead of just telling them to quit being racist.

Inevitably, no matter what I do, I worry that I’m not using the right level of forcefulness. But I guess sitting here and angsting about the appropriateness of my approach is still better than doing nothing.

7. No one really answered my "what is the boundary" question at all. What I should have asked is, are you willing to recognize that you have a willing tolerance for antiblackness? That there is a certain amount that you are okay with allowing before thinking it's worth speaking up?

Yes, and I think it’s tied to my struggle to judge situations. There’s a certain threshold of racism under which I can’t identify it with enough accuracy to feel comfortable making a callout. But again—maybe “public callout” and “do nothing” are not the only two possible responses.

Okay so after sitting on the responses from yesterday's question, I have some follow up questions to what seemed to be some consistent... Themes in the answers.

Like yesterday, I am asking with intent to listen (and maybe ask more questions) so I will not be arguing- at best, you'll get a "hm" to acknowledge i saw what you said.

My follow up questions:

1. There are a lot of people who think they're the only one who would speak up. Imagine what would happen if everyone who thought they were the only one... Spoke. But even if you do think you're alone... Why is antiracism not worth standing alone for?

2. There is a difference between feeding the trolls and speaking up when something wrong is happening. Do you feel people are more comfortable assuming the former so that they don't have to interact via the latter?

3. Why do we think that bigotry will go away if it goes unaddressed? Is that how you also feel about bigotry that you experience via your other identities?

4. Why should we entertain and prioritize the annoyance of bigots? Why do you not deserve to be here and have a safe, comfortable space any more than they do?

5. What do we plan on doing when Black fans lose their patience due to disillusionment? Are we okay with the outcome of that, of choosing... Well, being racist but safe? (Be honest with yourself!) Would we rather Black fans just accept that it's easier to assume everyone is antiblack, the same way it's easier not to speak up against it as a social norm? If we want to show that there is still a welcome for Black fans, that we are safe, why don't we act to show that?

6. If everyone only hangs around people who aren't antiblack, why is the space still so overwhelmingly antiblack? Have you considered that you cannot adequately judge from within?

7. No one really answered my "what is the boundary" question at all. What I should have asked is, are you willing to recognize that you have a willing tolerance for antiblackness? That there is a certain amount that you are okay with allowing before thinking it's worth speaking up?

*I also want to note that I'm not directing this to Black fans. I know that the context changes when you have to fight. I'm asking the people who have the privilege of fighting antiblackness while not having the identity. I.e. some marginal power in the area.

[ceratedfish24]

Your takes on c!Scott and flower husbands have honestly been so refreshing that its reignited my old Hot Takes on c!Jimmy bc I detest the way people characterize him.

I feel like so many people portray Jimmy as this dejected downtrodden victim of bullying, which feeds into a narrative that Scott was cruel and abusive and awful or whatever, and tends to act like Jimmy doesn't have any agency ever. But IN REALITY??? Jimmy is not downtrodden and dejected and sad!!!!! In my opinion, Jimmy's defining character trait is his unshakable TENACITY! Ppl never want to admit that Jimmy is a little shit! That he acts out of spite, that his friends' teasing only tends to motivate him!! He *thrives* in environments that challenge him! AND to be so for real, he is a grown man with agency and decision-making skills and I'm tired of people acting like he isn't.

In general I feel like people just have the wrong outlook on him as a character. Maybe they've just collectively misunderstood him, or a Helpless Miserable Victim is easier to write about in fic, or they just want to project their own bullying-related trauma onto him or whatever. (People do similar things to Scar when talking about desert duo, which I understand even less). IDK. These are just my thoughtssssss sorry for rambling :P

No because you’re literally so real for this. Jimmy is SUCH a little shit. His response to Joel being mad at Jimmy for trying to kill him was to SHAKE HIS ASS AT JOEL. He taunted Joel because Jimmy successfully used Lizzie to bait Joel out. He tried to guilt trip Scott into giving him time. These aren’t negative qualities. This is a guy being silly with his friends. Embrace them when writing c!Jimmy. These are wonderful and realistic qualities.

Jimmy’s tenacity is so remarkable. He gets knocked down and all of his friends tease him about it, and he stands right back up with pep in his step. A lot of people treat Pearl the same way. Like, guys, these people are adults who make their own choices, and, often times, people who are given free will are not going to make the responsible choice most of the time when there are no real world consequences to their actions other than maybe “I might not get to be in the finale of this Minecraft series”.

There is SO much favoritism in the Life Series. Jimmy and Pearl are always reduced to their greatest tragedies, while Scott and Cleo are reduced to their most selfish moments, even though everyone else is equally selfish because IT IS A DEATH GAME. IT IS A COMPETITION. THAT IS THE POINT.

A lot of Jimmy’s deaths tend to be his own doing. Whether he unnecessarily made an enemy or just wasn’t being careful, a lot of Jimmy’s deaths are his fault, and that’s fine. He likes to play into bits. He’s not that serious about winning as opposed to making fun content. Pearl has made her fair share of mistakes and enemies, and that adds plot and drama to her content. That’s how she plays it, and it’s fine! Don’t infantilize them for dealing with the consequences of their actions just like everybody else!

Scott was widowed, and he had to watch his allies die before he did for seasons. Nobody ever comforts him about it. Nobody says “oh this man is so sad he’s just doing his best but he can’t keep his friends alive and it’s eating him up and everyone should baby him”.

Nobody even calls Joel toxic for constantly targeting Scott, but somehow Scott is toxic for teasing Jimmy now and then? (Which is not to say that Joel is toxic. He just finds it fun to target his good friend and knows where Scott’s limits are. It’s actually a sign of how close they are in real life). Nobody calls Etho and Bdubs toxic for being so mean to each other. Nobody calls Impulse manipulative when his whole thing in Third Life was betraying people. Nobody says Ren is controlling for taking the lead in Dogwarts or calling the Renwood Mound the Ren Mound. Scar is a liar and a scammer and no one thinks less of him for it.

Do you wanna know why? Because they’re friends having fun. Scott and Scott’s character should be treated with that same respect given to everyone else. Also, people need to keep in mind that Scott is not actively playing a character. Scott is just playing the game the way that cc!Scott wants to play the game, so any in depth analysis of Scott’s “character”? That’s an over analysis of cc!Scott in a competitive environment, and that man is literally on this site, people. He knows about Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, Girldad. I’ve seen him reply to analysis posts on why Scott is manipulative. He’s literally just a guy playing a game for fun.

Imagine if someone accused you of playing an evil and selfish character because you asked your friend to give you the monopoly money they owe you. Or, worse imagine if someone accused you of playing a manipulative character because you let your friend land on your monopoly property without paying you????? Because you love your friend??????? Like, excuse me????????

Thank you for the ask!!!!!! 🩵🩵🩵 It’s always flattering when someone calls my posts “refreshing”💕💕💕(also I see you all the time and I love seeing your additions to my posts💖)

[justagalwhowrites]

Halcyon - Ch. 19: Did You Mean That?

Joel confronts your shared past and potential future. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 18, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 6.6k

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter

Joel was frozen for longer than he was proud of, staring at the place you’d left him. 

I fucking heard you. 

What the fuck did that even mean? Heard what? 

He looked back toward Sarah’s room. He shouldn’t just leave her here by herself but he considered it all the same. He’d just… he’d go after you, make you talk to him like he should have done all those years ago. He wasn’t going to just let you disappear again, not this time. 

Instead, he called you, still standing on his front stoop, still considering chasing after you. It rang twice but then you sent him to voicemail. 

“Fuck!” 

His grip got tight on the phone but he resisted the urge to hurl the phone at the brick of his house. 

“Dad?” Sarah peered at him from around the doorway, her eyes somehow seeming especially wide. 

He sighed. 

“Yes, baby girl.” 

“You and Aunt Goldie were really in a fight, huh.” 

He sighed again, looking at his daughter even though it only made him feel worse. She loved you so much, you were the closest thing she’d ever had to a mother and Joel had fucked that up, too. 

“It’s… it’s complicated, baby girl,” he said. “C’mon, let’s go inside, it’s getting late, you should get ready for bed…” 

“But,” she huffed. “Dad, it’s Goldie. You can’t just let her leave, she’s family!” 

“I know,” he said, a hand on her back as he guided her back inside. “Not gonna just let her go, don’t worry. I just… need to figure out what to do first, OK?” 

“Promise you’re not going to just not talk again for years?” She asked, looking up at him. “Because - sorry, Dad - that was bullshit.” 

“Hey,” he said. “Language.” 

“Dad.” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, you’re right. It was bullshit.” 

He texted you while Sarah got ready for bed but you left him on read and he ground his teeth. He read his daughter a chapter from a book and resisted her begging to have him read another one before tucking her in, thankful that she still wanted him to do this at all. 

“Hey Dad?” She said as he went to leave. 

“Yes, baby girl?” 

“You’re going to talk to her, right?” 

He sighed. She sounded so hopeful. 

“I’ll fix it,” he said. “Promise. Love you.” 

“Love you too,” she said, sounding more relaxed. 

He closed the door behind him and went to the living room, pacing for a moment. 

I fucking heard you. 

He tried to remember the conversation with Ricky all those years ago, not something he’d really thought about in so long. 

Other things from that small window of time had dominated Joel’s memory. He remembered trying to find the words to talk to you, trying to come up with a plan for every possible outcome. If you wanted him, too, then he would figure out a way to be there for Tommy and his mom from afar and go with you. If, heaven forbid, you were pregnant, he would do everything to make sure you could still go to school and still be everything you were meant to be while he took care of the rest. If you wanted nothing to do with him… that had been the one scenario he hadn’t come up with a solution for. Of course, that had been the one he’d been left to reckon with. 

He remembered how he felt then, how desperate he’d been. But he couldn’t remember exactly what he’d said to fucking Ricky, something that had apparently stuck out in your mind so much that you’d moved across the country without a fucking word. He went over it again and again but couldn’t remember it, even though it felt like his fucking life depended on it. 

Eventually he tried to call you again but it only rang once before you sent him to voicemail. 

He listened to your outgoing message, bright and cheery, flexing his hand again and again as he waited, impatiently, for the beep. 

“Goldie,” he said when it finally let him record a message. “Not letting you walk out, I’m gonna keep calling. Just… pick up, baby. Please.” 

He hung up and immediately called again. Two rings, then voicemail. He called again. 

The fourth time, you finally answered, your voice sharp and harsh. 

“What!” You snapped. “What more do you want from me?” 

“I want to talk to you,” he said, straining to keep calm. “I don’t know what you mean, I don’t remember what the fuck you’re talking about, I…” 

You laughed once, derisively. 

“Of course you don’t,” you said. “You wouldn’t, would you? Because I was always just another girl to you, wasn’t I? Why would you remember…” 

“No,” he cut you off. “No, that’s not…” 

“I need some space, Joel,” you said. 

“I’m not losing you again, Goldie,” he said, harsher than he really meant to. “Please, let me just…” 

“If you don’t want to lose me then do what I’m asking you to do,” you said. “I need space, OK? I can’t just do this with you, I can’t… just don’t call me or text me or whatever, just give me some time.” 

“Goldie…” 

“I mean it, Joel,” you said. “I need space.” 

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Fine,” he said. “I…I can do that.” 

“Thank you,” you said. “I’ll talk to later.” 

“Will you?” He asked, probably rougher than he should have. 

“Eventually,” you said. “Yeah.” 

“Yeah,” he said, his voice thick. “Yeah, OK.” 

You hung up and he sighed, sinking onto the couch and cradling his head in his hands for a moment. 

He was on the edge of losing you again, he could feel it. He couldn’t let it happen, not this time. He started thinking again, just like he had all those years ago, trying to think up contingency plans and ways to work through this without you leaving but, really, that’s what it always came back to. He’d do anything - he’d never touch you again, he’d tolerate your shitbag husband, he’d watch you live a life he was agonizingly separate from - if it just meant that you stayed. 

Joel got himself a drink, which quickly became two and then three, staring at the ceiling, wondering just how long he was supposed to stay away from you this time before he passed out on the couch. 

When he woke up the next day, time seemed to crawl. He couldn’t just ignore you.  You were in everything, it seemed. Sarah showed him the books you’d gotten her, excited about reading them. He reviewed his business plan again and again, looking at your notes in the margins. He put on a Longhorns t-shirt and remembered you sitting at his kitchen table, building out your syllabus for the year. 

Even Tommy noticed a difference when he was at work on Tuesday, seemingly short tempered and impatient. 

“You gonna tell me who pissed in your Cheerios or you gonna leave that a mystery?” Tommy asked as they leaned against his truck during a coffee break. 

“What do you mean?” Joel frowned, staring down at the paper cup and thinking about how you took your coffee and wondering what was he supposed to do with that knowledge if you were just gone now.

“I mean you’ve been biting people’s heads off all week,” Tommy said. “I mean, you’re always an asshole but you’ve been in rare form man.” 

“Tommy…” 

“Don’t feed me some bullshit, either,” he interrupted him. “Know you too well for that.” 

Joel looked at Tommy for a moment before he sighed and it all came spilling out of him - prom night, what had been happening between the two of you the last few months, the moment in his kitchen, what you’d yelled at him over the weekend, all of it. 

“Jesus,” Tommy said when he was done, just blinking at him, dumbfounded. “I… fuck, man. I always thought there was something between you two but… holy shit.” 

“I don’t know what the fuck it is she’s talking about,” Joel said. “I talked with Ricky back then but fuck if I can remember what it was about, that was more than a decade ago, what the fuck am I supposed to do?” 

“I mean… do you know how she feels?” Tommy asked, taking a sip of coffee.

“Yeah,” Joel scoffed. “Yeah, I think she’s made that perfectly fuckin’ clear.” 

“Has she?” Tommy said. “Because - and maybe you just didn’t mention it - but I don’t think you actually talked about it. Ever. Not once.” 

Joel frowned, looking at the ground, going over everything in his mind. 

That couldn’t be right, could it? 

It sure seemed like you’d talked about it. Maybe not explicitly, but everything you’d said pointed to you seeing him as a friend. You said you wanted to be with someone you could love and that wasn’t him. The first time he’d slept with you again, you asked him not to call you baby and he’d all but begged you to let him. He’d had to fucking comfort you the morning after the concert, tell you that it didn’t mean anything so you didn’t panic because being with him freaked you out that much. You’d never said it, not in so many words, but you didn’t need to. 

“Maybe you should ask her,” Tommy said when Joel had been quiet for too long. 

“Tommy,” Joel groaned, rolling his eyes. “I can’t just…” 

“Can’t you?” Tommy said. “I mean… shit, man. You already blew it all up, what else you got to lose?” 

Tommy’s words were still in Joel’s mind when he left the job site that afternoon, going home to get cleaned up before going to the bank for his business loan appointment. 

What did he really have to lose? He could at least tell you how he felt, a thought that made his chest tight but brought a sense of relief, too. He’d been holding this in for so long now. It seemed like loving you had become a part of him, one that he was used to keeping to himself but one he didn’t want to hide anymore.

He’d told himself for years that he’d loved you quietly because it’s what you wanted. You weren’t interested, it was unfair to put his feelings on you. Even when you were a country away and not speaking with him, he found it strangely comforting to know that while it might be because he’d caved to his baser instincts and slept with you, it wasn’t because he’d pushed his feelings on you. He had regrets - he’d have given anything to take back that night if it meant you’d just talk to him again - but at least he knew how he felt about you hadn’t been the thing that had driven you away. 

Could it really be possible that not telling you had been the thing that sent you running from him? Had he really wasted years of his life not having you all because he’d been too afraid of actually fucking saying it? 

He put on his best clothes - wishing he had a suit for the first time in his life - and took a deep breath, looking at himself in the mirror. It felt like his whole life was riding on this, everything he could have sitting there, just out of reach. 

He’d never been worthy of you before. Back when he met you, he was barely passing his classes, going nowhere fast. Doomed to spend his life in his hometown, doing some job to get by while trying to keep his kid brother’s nose clean. He hadn’t gotten much better since, staying in the first job he could get, doing his best to raise the child he’d made by accident, trying to make something of himself as he could. It was nothing compared to you. But if he could manage this, actually do something real and tangible, maybe he’d feel worthwhile. 

Joel drummed his hands on the steering wheel as he drove, one of the Taylor Swift songs from the concert he’d gone to with you and Sarah coming on the radio and he remembered looking at you that night, remembered how much he wanted to kiss you in a way that actually meant something. He had to do this. He had to. 

His stomach was in knots as he sat in the bank waiting room, one foot bouncing as he tried not to crinkle his presentation and application in his hands. He wished you were here. Why was he doing this on his own? What made him think he was even fucking capable of this without you? 

After what felt like a small eternity, a woman named Audrey brought him back to her office and Joel took a deep breath before walking her through his business plan. 

His heart was pounding the entire time and there was something perverse about talking through a future that you weren’t somehow a part of. He walked Audrey through the financial plans, what the next five years would look like and there was the nagging thought at the back of his mind that he should have talked with you about all of this. How money would be tight for a while, how he’d be extra busy, how much he appreciated the way you’d supported him through all of this so far. He never could have done this without you pushing him, encouraging him, helping him navigate the business world. It felt like your success, too, when Audrey set his presentation down on her desk, nodding. 

“Well, Joel,” she said, looking at him with a smile. “I think we have everything we need. Congratulations, you’re getting your loan!” 

Joel just laughed for a second, looking next to him quickly before remembering that you weren’t by his side. 

“Thank you,” he said. “This is… thank you very much.” 

“Looking forward to doing business with you,” she smiled. “Give me just a minute and I’ll be back with some papers so we can get things going.” 

Joel took his phone out and stared at his text message conversation with you, the last thing he sent still “I’m sorry.” He wanted to tell you that he’d done it. He was a business owner, he was going to be something, he was becoming someone that Sarah was going to be proud of and it was all because you’d come back into his life. You were who he wanted to share this with and he couldn’t. 

Audrey gave him the paperwork and he went through it page by page, more than a little reminded of when he got his mortgage and felt like he was signing his life away but with more optimism about his future this time. 

About halfway through the paperwork, though, the pen started skipping. He tried wetting the tip of it, scratching on a corner of the paper but he couldn’t get it to write smoothly again. 

“Do you got another one of these?” Joel asked, holding the pen up. “Can’t get it to work…” 

“Oh yeah, sorry about that,” Audrey said, looking around her desk, including at an empty pen cup. “Let me just…” 

She opened a desk drawer and took a few things out, piling things on her desk - a purse, water bottle, a book. 

Joel cocked his head at the book, the spine of it familiar. So familiar that he couldn’t help but laugh. Of course you’d be here, too. 

“What?” She asked as she found a plain, white box and pulled out a handful of pens with the bank’s logo on the side. She dropped them into the pen cup and held one out to Joel. 

“Oh, nothin’,” he said, taking the pen and nodding at the novel. “Just… my friend, she wrote that book. Funny seeing someone read it.” 

“Wait, really?” She asked, her face lighting up as she held up your book. “You know who wrote this?” 

“Yeah,” Joel nodded. “Yeah, she’s my best friend, known her since we were 15. She’s… she’s amazing. She teaches now, over at UT.” 

Audrey set the book down, leaning over the desk with her arms folded in front of her like she was going to tell Joel some kind of secret. 

“OK can I ask something?” She asked. “Sorry, this is probably hugely unprofessional but I am obsessed with this book, I can’t put it down and my book club is going crazy. Is any of it true? The falling in love and things ending like that? It seems like it has to be at least somewhat based on her life, I don’t see how someone could write this without knowing it, you know?” 

“Oh, uh,” Joel cupped the back of his neck awkwardly. “I actually… haven’t read it?” 

“Oh,” she said, sitting back a little, looking let down. 

“Sorry,” Joel said. “I’ve tried and I know it’ll be amazing but it’s just too weird for me…” 

“No, I’m sorry,” she laughed a little. “I overstepped, I shouldn’t have assumed…” 

“I should read it,” Joel said quickly. “I got it at home, maybe I’ll give it another go now.” 

“You should,” Audrey said. “It’s really, really good.” 

The new pen worked and Joel finished the paperwork, staring at his signature on the last page a  little too long. He handed the pen and papers back to Audrey. 

“You can keep the pen,” she smiled, taking the pages. “Let me make copies of these for your records but otherwise, congratulations, owner of Miller Brothers Construction and Contracting!” 

Joel had a bubble of pride in his chest as he drove home, one that seemed too big to keep contained and, against his better judgement, he called you. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what he expected, if he thought you were going to send him to voicemail, if you were going to answer and let him actually say something to you or what. 

What he didn’t expect was Gale. 

“Hello?” 

Joel just blinked for a second, recognizing the man’s pompous voice even from just the one word. 

“Is this Joel?” Gale - fucking BRAD - said. He took his silence as a yes and laughed. “Was wondering if I’d hear from you. Don’t worry, she’s with me, back where she belongs. Thanks for looking after her while I was gone, though. Appreciate it.” 

“Lemme talk to her,” Joel said through clenched teeth. 

“I don’t see why that’s necessary,” he said. “Seems like she doesn’t want much to do with you these days. Think you blew it. Thanks for that, too, by the way.” 

“We’re just…” 

“You’re just nothing,” Gale cut him off. “You were nothing but a childish distraction for her. She went running back here when things got hard - which I take my part of the blame for - and she needed a project to keep herself busy but she doesn’t need you anymore. So go back to the little life you’re meant for and leave us be. She was always too much for you and this place, anyway.” 

“No,” Joel said sharply. “No, you put her on the phone, put her on the phone right now!” 

“Can’t do that,” Gale said. “But I’ll tell her you called. Take care.” 

The line went dead and Joel threw his phone against the dash so hard the screen cracked. 

“Fuck!” He yelled, smacking his hands against the steering wheel. He wasn’t going to lose you, not again, not like this. 

He ignored Gale. Instead, he drove to your house, pounding sharply on the door, panting for breath as he did but you never answered. 

So he went to Anna’s next. He only needed to knock for a minute before she opened the door, Ellie’s beaming, chubby face happy in her arms. 

“Hey Joel,” Anna smiled at him. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes! Here to see this one?” 

Ellie squirmed in Anna’s arms, cooing and reaching for Joel and he laughed once, he couldn’t help it, before holding his arms out for her. Anna handed him her daughter and Ellie giggled, immediately reaching to tangle her tiny fingers in his curls. He smiled at her for a moment, marveling at the little girl who’d brought you and him together in the way it felt like you were always meant to be.

“Is she here?” Joel asked, bouncing a little with Ellie, watching her smile, her little body a grounding force that eased his racing heart. 

“Oh,” Anna frowned, her eyebrows knitting together. “No, sorry, she’s not here too often anymore, just a few times a week… She moved back home, I thought you knew that?” 

“No, I did,” Joel said quickly, looking to Anna and offering a finger to Ellie for her to gum at. “She just… wasn’t there, tried callin’ her but…” 

“Oh,” Anna pulled her phone out, looking at the time. “She might still be at the school, I can call her for you…” 

“No,” Joel said quickly, not wanting to get your sister involved in the mess of whatever the fuck was going on between the two of you. “Don’t… Don’t worry about it, sure I’ll talk to her eventually.” 

“OK,” Anna said, still frowning. “Look… It’s not my business but… Is there something going on with you two?” 

Joel just looked at Anna for a moment, wondering if he should tell her, too, because fuck it, why not just let the whole world know how much he’d fucked up with you.  

But she beat him to it, going from a frown to an absolutely glowing smile in no time at all. 

“Oh my God.” 

“What?” He asked, adjusting his hold on Ellie. 

“You love her!” She sounded practically giddy. “Oh my GOD I knew it! You LOVE her! Have you told her? Does she know? Oh my GOD, JOEL!” 

“I… I haven’t exactly said it,” Joel said, his cheeks getting hot. “I don’t want to make it her problem, I don’t want to get in the way of her being happy, I just… I want to be there for it.”

Anna just looked at him for a moment before shaking her head a little. 

“Is… Is she happy with him?” Joel asked, watching your sister closely. “Is he what she wants? I didn’t know her when they were really together, I just… it seems like he holds her back and that he’s bad for her and…” 

“Joel, did you read her book?” Anna cut him off. 

He frowned. 

“What? What does that…” 

“You wanted to know if he’s what she wants,” Anna said. “She’s never going to actually say it, you know that. At least not to you or to me, she’s always going to try to seem like she’s OK and handle it herself until she can’t and even then she’s not going to actually fucking say it, Joel, but she will write it. She always writes it. Read the book, Joel.” 

He gave Ellie back to Anna and went home, trying to focus as he made Sarah dinner and helped her with her homework. 

Read the book. Just read the fucking book. Was that all it would take? Could he even do that? If fucking Brad really was what you wanted, could he really sit and read hundreds of pages about how much better your life had been when he wasn’t in it? 

He’d never been able to manage it and it wasn’t because he didn’t want to know you through your words and it wasn’t because he didn’t like your writing. It was because he didn’t know if he could stomach reading something you wrote while you were in love with someone else. 

But… Anna was right. He knew that. If he wanted to know the truth of any of it, he’d have to read it. So, after he tucked Sarah into bed, he sat on the floor, staring at the box in his closet that held the two copies of your book like it was daring him to actually confront his feelings for a change. Because that had always worked out so well for him in the past, not like every fucking time he’d resolved to actually talk to you he hadn’t found you loving someone else. 

“Fuck it,” he muttered, opening the box and pulling out the books. This time, though, he picked the signed copy, the one he’d never tried to read before. There was something different about holding this copy, knowing that you had once, too. He ran his hands over the cover and the spine reverently for a moment before he leaned his back against the wall of the closet and opened the book. 

Joel had to force himself to read past the first few paragraphs, his stomach in knots the entire time, but, after a while, he fell into it - to the point that he almost forgot that he was reading your book. 

He’d known, from what little he’d managed to read in the past, that the book started in Austin, he just hadn’t expected the story to linger there.

But it did, the narrative following a girl named Cressida. She started out as a quiet, introspective high schooler who had become unlikely friends with a football player named Eli, a friendship that felt so like his with yours. They knew each other, understood each other, their worlds seem to revolve around each other. It seemed natural that it led to them sleeping together. But instead of the immediate implosion that had ended your relationship in real life, theirs devolved over time. Cressida came back to him again and again, the two of them winding up loosely connected every time a relationship of Eli’s fizzled out, her clinging to a heart wrenching longing that hurt to read, one that her friend seemed shockingly oblivious to.

Eventually, though, things came crashing down. This was different too, though, because it ended not with her vanishing but him, a car accident claiming Eli’s life when Cressida had finally resolved to tell him how she felt. They buried him in a sunny corner of the graveyard just before graduation and Cressida, it seemed, never really moved past it.

The other three-quarters of the book followed her as she tried – desperately, devastatingly – to live again, to get over the love she’d never really had to begin with, to find some place to root herself outside of that sun-drenched grave in her hometown.

She never really managed it, the ending almost painfully unsatisfying but feeling true. She’d become something – Cressida delving into the business world instead of the creative one as you had – and she found success away from home but her mind kept going back to that place and that person. She’d had relationships but, when her last boyfriend had proposed, she couldn’t bring herself to say yes. It had felt like a lie, to tell someone she would love him above all others when she’d never love him more than the memory of the boy who had been gone for years. He’d died at the worst time, the part of her life that would always be on a pedestal no matter what she did. Nothing and no one would ever compare and she was stuck, still going back to him again and again even though he was cold in the ground.

The last chapter closed with her bringing home a man who reminded her of her friend, something charming about him that took her back to that brighter place for a while. But when he fell asleep next to her, she had to confront that hollow feeling in her chest. In the last moment of the story, she bought a plane ticket to go back to that sunny grave site, something about the calm that fell over her when she decided to go back making it seem like that grave was her resting place, too.

Joel just stared at the book when he read the final words, the last pages flopping over, revealing your picture on the inside flap of the dust jacket. That knowing smile and piercing gaze gutted him then, no longer the taunt and temptation of knowledge they had once been.

Was Anna right, was this the truth of it? Did you write out your real feelings? Had he really gotten everything this fucking wrong? Had he really spent years wishing things with you were different when they’d been different all along?

He got out his phone and ignored the fact that it was 4:30 in the morning and called you. You didn’t answer. It didn’t even go to voicemail, the phone ringing once before he got some message saying the number was unavailable.

“Fuck,” he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall. He wasn’t positive but, based on his experience trying to track down Sarah’s mom years ago, that meant you’d blocked his number. It’d be just his fucking luck that he thought - hoped? - that, maybe, you felt the way he did at the same time he lost you for good.

He sat there with his eyes closed in the glow of his closet light, next to the box made up of the history of you, trying to pick through his memory from all those years ago, searching for some sort of guarantee that the book was based on what happened between the two of you back then.  

At some point, when he was swallowed by his memory of you, he fell asleep. Maybe it was the book, maybe it was the fact that he’d been sifting through ancient history when exhaustion finally caught up with him, maybe it was your words still ringing in his ears, but he remembered then. 

In his dream, he was back under the bleachers with Ricky, pacing to work out his nerves. He talked to his friend - the one who was more experienced, the one who wasn’t reckless, the one who would understand exactly why he was so afraid of what he might have just done to you. 

But, most importantly, he remembered exactly how that conversation had ended. 

It’s Goldie. I wish it were anyone else. It’d be better if it were anyone else.

“Dad!” 

Joel jerked awake, the book still open in his hands, your signature there for him to see. 

I fucking heard you. 

Sarah pounded on his bedroom door again. 

“Dad, come on!” She yelled. “I’m gonna be late!” 

“Shit,” he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and checked the time before calling to his daughter. “Two minutes, baby girl!” 

He got up as quickly as he could, his legs tingling from his awkward sleeping position on the floor of the fucking closet. 

Joel got changed quickly, barely paying attention to what he was putting on.

He’d had the answers sitting there for years, he’d just been too afraid to look it in the face but he had and now he knew. He knew how you felt - how you must have felt, why else would his misunderstood words have driven you away? - he knew how much time he’d already fucking wasted by being a coward, he knew it all now. 

He just didn’t know what the fuck to do about it. 

Joel got Sarah out the door quickly, barely paying attention on his drive to the school. He couldn’t just give up. He already refused to lose you, not again, but now it would be impossible. You were so close, everything he’d ever wanted there in front of him but just out of reach. Even if you’d moved on now, even if you were happier with fucking Brad, he had to tell you. He owed both of you that much. 

“Bye Dad!” Sarah poked her head between the two front seats and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

“What was that for?” He frowned, turning to look at her. 

She just shrugged and smiled. 

“Just seemed like you needed it,” she said. “Love you!” 

“Love you too!” He called after her as she hopped down from the truck and slammed the door behind her with a little too much force, waving behind her as she ran to the building. 

“Alright,” he took a deep breath, looking at the clock on his dashboard. Just after 8 a.m. He’d start at your place because he wasn’t sure what time you went to campus this semester. But he was going to talk to you. He was going to talk to you and he was going to tell you how he felt and he was going to do it today. “I’m comin’, Goldie.” 

You weren’t at your place when he got there. He tried not to think about if it was because you’d spent the night with fucking Brad, if you’d gone to his hotel and had never even been here. Instead, he went to campus. He wasn’t sure where you’d be teaching right now but he was pretty sure you wouldn’t be in your office. You always had morning classes with a break in the afternoon. 

“Excuse me,” he said to a random passing college student. “I’m lookin’ for… shit, probably creative writing? Or literature? What buildings are those?” 

“Oh, um,” the girl looked around quickly. “I’m a physics major but I know I had an English class in that building over there last semester? You could start there?” 

She pointed to a building in the distance and Joel kept his groan to himself. He forgot how fucking huge college campuses were. 

But he couldn’t just sit and wait. He needed to find you and he needed to do it now. 

“Thanks,” he said, giving her a wave and already starting to jog for the building. “Appreciate it!” 

But you didn’t have a class in that building. At least not at that time of day. He knew because he looked in all the lecture halls. You weren’t there. 

He tried two other buildings after asking for directions - no luck - before checking his watch. If your schedule was anything like it had been the semesters before, you’d be in your office soon. That, at least, he knew how to find. 

He jogged there, resisting the urge to run because that would probably make him look utterly insane, and threw his arm out to catch the elevator on its way up. 

“Floor 10, please,” he said to one of the college girls looking at him funny as he panted for breath. She did as he asked, though, and he marveled, for a moment, at just how fucking young college kids seemed to him now.

He closed his eyes and focused for a second, trying to figure out exactly what to say to you, but hearing your name pulled him out of his head. 

“I don’t think they’re still like… together together, though,” the girl who’d pushed the button said. “Like I know they were married but she said he was visiting. He’d live here if they were married, right? Besides, I really don’t think her husband would be asking for my number with his wife there, would he?” 

“I dunno,” the other girl shrugged. “He’s just… isn’t he old? Like old old, not hot old.” 

“I like them old,” the first girl giggled. “They know what they’re doing then.” 

The elevator chimed and the girls got off and Joel’s heart was beating so hard he could feel the blood in his body. You’d brought fucking Brad here and he’d hit on one of your fucking students - one who looked so young Joel never would have looked twice at her if he saw her on the street. Right in front of you, from the sounds of it. That’s who you’d chosen, that’s who you’d felt like you deserved because he hadn’t opened his fucking mouth years earlier. 

When the elevator made it to floor 10, he squeezed out of the doors, not willing to wait for them to open all the way, and ran to your office. 

“Excuse me,” the girl behind the front desk said as he went past her. “You can’t just…” 

“It’s fine,” he said, catching the door as someone came out of the hall where your office was. 

“No, wait!” She called after him but he ignored her. 

He ducked around other professors, dodging them and their questions until he was at your door. 

It was closed but he didn’t bother to knock, throwing the door open to find you there, standing in front of your desk in the arms of your fucking husband as he kissed you. 

Joel moved so fast that neither you nor Gale had noticed he was there but he couldn’t just stand there and watch that fucking guy kiss you, not like that. 

Without really thinking about it, he ripped him away from you, just catching a glimpse of the shock on your face as he punched Gale in the head, sending him sprawling into your desk. 

“Joel!” You yelled before grabbing his arm and pulling him back before he could hit your goddamn husband again. “What the fuck are you doing!” 

“Sorry, baby,” he said, shaking the feel of the punch out of his hand, his knuckles raw. “I couldn’t just watch that fucking guy touch you like that.” 

“Well, it’s really not your business how he touches me!” You snapped, shoving him back. “You don’t get to just come in here and hit people because you’re not getting your way anymore!” 

“That ain’t what this is,” he said, taking you by the shoulders, something grounding in the fact that could feel you again. “Baby, I read your book…” 

“Congratulations!” You snapped. “What, do you want a cookie because you finally got around to supporting me?” 

“No,” he shook his head. “Did you mean that? What you wrote, was that…” 

“What does it matter!” You asked, your eyes searching his face. “Why do you care! It’s ancient history, it doesn’t…” 

“It does matter!” He held you tight, wanting to kiss you more than he ever had before. “It matters because I love you, I love you so much, I’ve loved you since we were fucking kids, I love you so much that I think it might kill me if you don’t let me just say that to you at least this once and if you feel that way, too…” 

“You need to leave,” Gale - who Joel had all but forgotten about - said, trying to position himself between you and Joel. “And take your hands off my wife.” 

“Oh I haven’t even fuckin’ started with you,” Joel said, rounding on him. “You’re a fucking predator, chasing after her fuckin’ students while you’re here with her? Doing with them what you did with her, that it? Lucky I don’t beat the shit out of you…” 

“Joel, I…” you began, but you didn’t get the chance to finish, Gale pulling you back from Joel and going to hit him. 

Joel didn’t give him the chance, shoving him away from you before punching him again. Gale fell, landing on your desk again with a sharp crack. 

“Joel!” You yelled. 

He didn’t get a chance to respond. Instead, he got pulled back, security guards dragging him into the hall and away from you before he knew if he had a shot at really having you for the first time in his life.

A/N: FUCK YOU GALE!

Sorry, I've been picturing that moment since I first thought up the fic. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

Taglist: @kaseyconnour

[eothemagnificent]

Ditto on the getting spooked off by the fearmongering, it literally took multiple years (and a lot of patience on his part) for me to figure out how to have a conversation with Odin without getting too intimidated by His Reputation to hear him over my own anxiety—this despite the fact that in retrospect, I had felt a draw to a lot of Odin-adjacent things ever since I was a kid. And even once I did start taking to him, many of our interactions have had the feeling of someone trying to socialize a feral cat (though that’s also due in part to some personal trauma I was trying to work through at the time).

But despite everything I’d heard, he’s never done anything like make things harder for me on purpose, let alone as some sort of test. We had One fight a few years back, after he’d crossed what I hadn’t actually *said* was a boundary (partly because I didn’t realize it would even come up)—and once I made that boundary explicit, he’s fully respected it ever since. Other than that one (1) time, most of my experiences with him have just been… him offering support and guidance, as I’ve been going through Some Shit. Even when he’s taken me to task on some of my more self-destructive tendencies, he’s never been needlessly harsh or combative.

I definitely won’t say that he Never tests people—largely because I just don’t want to speak for anyone else, but also because he *is* a teacher, and sometimes the most effective way to get a difficult lesson across is to let the student fuck up in a controlled setting. But not everyone needs to be taught that kind of lesson, or would respond well to it, so why do it when it isn’t helpful or necessary?

Idk, I’m kinda just rambling here. I just don’t get how someone would look at the same Old Man who's talked me down from panic attacks and sat with me through the worst parts of med withdrawals… and somehow come to the conclusion that he's someone who must be Approached With Caution Lest He Ruin Your Life. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Like, yeah he Could fuck up someone’s life, but… why would he bother? Why would he Want to? Why is the default assumption that *the allfather* doesn’t give a shit about you or your well-being?

I love the most recent ask on vikings-til-valhalla’s account. I’m telling my impressions separately because they’re rather about the ask than the response, which is quite personal. I quite like this person’s ask, and I agree wholeheartedly with their point. I’ve never been a fan of the idea that Óðinn is a hard-loving deity who will throw hardships at you just to “test” you. My experience has never showed anything remotely similar. Hardships happen but they’re most likely not the doing of a deity, they’re simply a part of life. And I’ve experienced Óðinn as a deity who is loving and gentle, pretty much like a wise grandfather. While I know deities manifest themselves in different ways to different people, I feel like selling insistingly the idea that Óðinn will for some reason bombard you with tests to beat you down or whatever is not only far from reality, but it can also deter someone who is interested in working with him.

[koji-haru]

I'll be with you

[For @inubaki! Happy birthday!! I hope your day was amazing! ❤️]

This fucking sucks. Adam groaned loudly as he slumped in his seat, face looking tiredly up at the red ceiling. Red. Before he didn’t care much for the colour, but now, with red painted everywhere he went as if he wore red tinted sunglasses all the time, he had come to hate the colour with a passion. Charlie went around the group, letting them choose which journal they wanted. The princess had talked everyone’s ear off with her lengthy speech about gratitude and taking things for granted, except Vaggie because of course she always supported any of Charlie’s exercises no matter good or bad of an idea it was. 

Unfortunately for Adam, he was the second last person in the group circle, with Alastor just after him. When Charlie finally got to him, he only had two options: one had ‘Live. Love. Laugh’ written on it in cursive with rainbows in the background, and the other was a plain beige journal with ‘My Life’ written on it. Adam quickly chose the beige journal, better the boring one instead of sparkly rainbows. In his peripheral vision, he noticed Alastor’s smile twitch a little when Charlie handed him the remaining journal. 

“Oh, thank you dear,” Alastor said as he slipped the journal into the shadows, most likely never to be seen again. 

“No problem at all!,” Charlie beamed.

Honestly, Adam wasn't sure how she managed to stay so bright and cheerful in such a miserable shithole of a place that was Hell, but props to her, he supposed, but that didn’t mean he was going down the same delusion. Adam looked down at the journal in his hand. Three things he was grateful for everyday, huh? 

It has been almost two months since Adam died in the failed Extermination, revived as a sinner, and was now a resident at the very same hotel he tried to destroy trying to redeem himself back to Heaven. Well, ‘trying’ would be an exaggeration, more like forced to stay at the Hotel by Sera and Lucifer. Sera just wanted him back as an angel in Heaven to stop the others from wondering where the first man disappeared to; really, she just wanted to keep the ‘mess’ he made under the rug. And Lucifer, well, he just wanted to keep his precious princess happy. If Adam could be redeemed back to Heaven, then maybe Charlie could even get Heaven’s support for her hotel since Sir Pentious’ redemption apparently only made them decide to at least leave the hotel and its residents alone. No news about the possibility of future exterminations yet though. 

In reality, Adam wasn’t even sure if he wanted to get redeemed. Don’t get him wrong, he hated being in Hell, the place was absolutely vile and disgusting in ways he never thought was even possible. But he was kind of glad to have some of the weight be lifted off his shoulders. He would have preferred to have all of the weight be lifted off him when he thought he finally, truly died at the battlefield, but it seemed that God had other plans for him. He already lived long lives in both Earth and Heaven, as a human and as an angel, but now he also had to live a life in Hell as a sinner. It was wearing him out. He just wanted to be relieved of any duties; he just wanted to finally be done with everything. Being in Hell, he was constantly reminded of his failure in the garden of Eden, how he also bit the apple despite knowing he shouldn’t just so he could selfishly remain with Eve. Sinners themselves were proof of the filth he knowingly allowed into the world, and as much as he hated killing his own descendants, the Exterminations were truly the only way he could clean up his mess. Or at least that was what he believed; when news of Sir Pentious being redeemed reached the hotel, Adam thought he was going to die a third time. This entire time he spilled the blood of his children, thinking that that was the only way for him to make up for his mistakes as well as, in a twisted way, saving them from an eternal life in Hell, it was all for naught. Redemption was possible. Some of those souls didn’t need to be erased…

Adam flipped the journal open. He had so many regrets in his eternally long life that all good things seem to simply fade into the background. Well, almost all the good things. He still wasn’t sure how it came to be, but somehow, he managed to earn Michael’s love that even led to a promise of eternal devotion. Yes, the archangel Michael, Lucifer’s very own brother. It was certainly an odd twist of fate, but his union with the archangel was something Adam would never ever regret no matter how many lives he would end up living. Michael was the only reason Adam was even sort of trying this redemption thing, otherwise he would simply tell Sera to fuck off and leave him to suffer in Hell. Despite the strong urge of giving up, Adam wanted to at least see Michael one more time. He knew he didn’t deserve it, especially with their stark differences in, well, everything important, but he couldn’t help it. He was just a human needing to be with the love of his life.

Yeah, he was grateful for Michael’s love even though he didn’t deserve it. He could write that in the journal. He would write that everyday.

Just as the group was about to get up from their seats and off to whatever they wanted to do for the day, a loud and purposeful knock on the hotel door sounded throughout the lobby. Charlie perked up from where she stood, somehow managing to look even happier as she excitedly made her way to the door. Everyone was currently present at the lobby for her activity, even her father, that knock could only mean one thing…

Charlie pulled the door open, beaming brightly as she greeted her new guest, “Welcome to the Happy Ho..tel…” 

The words quickly died in her throat as her jaw simply dropped at the sight before her. What was such a being doing in Hell, especially at her hotel?! In front of Charlie was the most divine angel she had ever seen, with such celestial presence exuding off of him as if the very Heavens had gone down to visit Hell.

The angel gave Charlie a small smile as he stepped closer towards the now open door. “Hello young lady, sorry but I’m looking for Adam, the first man. I heard he was staying here?”

“Oh, uh, y-yes,” stammered Charlie, still stunned at the presence before her, as she took a step to the side, letting the angel into the hotel. “Just this way.”

“Thank you,” the angel thanked with a quick nod of his head before entering the hotel with quick, determined strides. He stopped by the lobby, looking around briefly until his eyes landed on a group of people gathered in a circle, and then zoning in on a specific sinner, looking different and yet all too familiar. The large black horns, blackened gold wings, floppy brown ears, and the long fluffy brown tail, swinging back and forth in impatience, did nothing to obscure the fact who the supposed sinner was. 

Before Lucifer could even react to the sudden guest’s presence, the angel already made his way towards the group, angelic presence heavy and almost burning, stopping just beside Adam and looking extremely displeased.

“Adam.” 

“Wuh?” Adam turned and swore he nearly died a third time as shock ran through his heart at the sight of the person in front of him. There, he sat dumbly on the carpeted floor, looking up at the new guest, both happy and confused. “Michael? What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same.” Michael stood over Adam, arms crossed and a rare scowl painted over his normally gentle face. “I didn’t think your annual ‘day trip’ with your exorcists included you dying, becoming a sinner, and staying in a redemptive hotel for almost two months.”

“Um…,” was all that Adam could say, still completely baffled at his husband’s presence here. At the hotel. In Hell. How did he find out in the first place anyway? Adam could do nothing but look down, unable to meet Michael’s eyes anymore as guilt resurfaced only to drag him back down. He had already accepted it long ago that the archangel was too good for him, but now, after having everything vile and revolting about him exposed, he felt he didn’t even deserve to be in his presence. 

“...I’m sorry…,” he said, quiet and apologetic, his torn heart visible for Michael to see.

“Aaawkward!!,” yelled Angel out from across them, followed by a pained yelp and a hiss when Vaggie smacked the back of his head to quickly shut him up. 

Michael closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting the air settle in his lungs for a moment before releasing them back out. A much softer look replaced his stern gaze once he opened his eyes again as he leaned down and offered a hand to Adam. “We’ll get through this, okay? Together this time.”

His angel really did come for him. Starting from the garden, throughout his hardships on Earth, his afterlife in Heaven, and even when he had fallen to Hell, Michael remained Adam’s guardian angel, steadfast in his devotion and, for some reason Adam couldn’t fathom, desired to forever remain by his side. It was a bit much really, for someone like him, especially now that he was nothing but a lowly sinner. So instead, Adam kept his eyes glued to the red carpet he was sat on, opting to pick himself up instead as he always had and always should. Just as he was about to push himself off the floor, Michael crouched down instead, going down to his level, and cupped his face with the softest hand Adam had ever felt. Michael’s blue eyes looked straight into him, not piercing but gently knocking, asking with all the tenderness of the world. 

“Come on, let’s get you back up, okay?”

Adam felt his heart creak at those words, and yet he couldn’t help the relief that washed over him as a small smile crept on his lips. It seemed that his angel was adamant about staying by his side; Michael was just weird like that, he supposed, to be so attached to him. In the end, Adam ended up timidly accepting the hand offered to him, whether he deserved it or not. 

“Um, sooo…,” Lucifer coughed into his fist, looking awkwardly around the lobby. “...long time no see, huh? Michael…”

“Wait,” Charlie cut in as she finally stepped into the lobby after letting the scene earlier pass by first. “Michael, as in THE archangel Michael? Angel of justice and warrior of God Michael?”

Now that he was a bit calmer, Michael finally let the awkward and strange situation he forced himself into fully sink in. And, oh, how out of place was he. “That’s me,” he replied. 

“Ooh, a bigshot from Heaven. I wonder how big you really are~” Angel pondered aloud for everyone to hear, earning him another smack to the head from Vaggie. “Ow! I was just asking!”

“Or, I don’t know, he could just be my brother?” Lucifer rolled his eyes. 

The sparkle in Charlie’s eyes brightened up even more, rivalling even that of Heaven’s image in the sky. “Oh my gosh!!,” she squealed as she bounced on her heels. “I can’t believe this! Uhh, oh gosh we were not prepared for your visit, uhm.” 

Within a span of a few seconds Charlie went from eagerly shaking Michael’s hand to fussing and worrying about the state of the hotel.

“The hotel’s fine my dear. Spotless even!” Alastor said, the smile on his face as wide as ever, though the look in his eyes told otherwise. The presence of another angelic being from Heaven was certainly unwelcome to him. That, and he wasn’t going to accept any critiques on the hotel he had worked so hard to upkeep, especially not from some spoilt angel! “There’s no need to worry so much.”

For once Lucifer found himself agreeing with Alastor, even nodding slightly along with him. 

“I think so too, duckling,” tried to tell her, trying to ease her unnecessary worries away. Really, what was the fuss? Just because his brother was here. “Besides,” he turned his attention back to Michael, his gaze a little more serious. “He’s an unannounced guest.”

“Oh, I’m planning to stay in Hell, at the hotel, if you would have me,” Michael announced to a shocked still crowd. Even Adam, who was standing by his side, had his mouth agape, eyes wide in shock and face pale at what Michael had just casually revealed. 

“WHAT?!,” exclaimed everyone in the room except for Michael, who easily stood there so sure of his decision. 

“I wish to have Adam back in Heaven, and so I’m staying to ensure that,” he explained, turning his gaze back to Adam, a small smile on his face, though Adam could immediately tell that even though there was still love in it, the tenderness plastered on that smile hid a blazing holy flame. “We’ll have to carefully plan your progress, right Adam?,” he asked, smile brightening up even more, Adam could almost feel the blaze from where he stood. 

“R-right…,” Adam reluctantly agreed, afraid of the talk they would definitely be having later. Michael hadn’t been mad at him for years; the archangel held a lot of restraint when it came to most things, and it often took a lot for him to even become irritated. But for him to be upset and mad? That was when Adam knew he truly fucked up. Michael was going to untangle him, and he wasn’t sure if he could ever be ready for that; more than a millennia’s worth of tangled fibres of his being was not going to be easy to unravel and sort out, nor would the effort be worth it, if he had a choice in the matter. 

“You can’t just–,” Lucifer tried to interject but was soon cut off by Charlie’s excited squeal.

“Of course you can stay!”

“Charlie, sweetie–”

“Then you have my thanks,” Michael said with a small bow. “I’ll make sure to put in a good word about your hotel to Heaven.”

“Wait–”

Charlie gasped, exhilaration flowing in her veins. Support from someone like Michael might just be what she needed for her hotel to be taken more seriously by Heaven. Just the thought of her hotel being official in Heaven’s eyes and her dream finally becoming true sent an electric joy through every fibre of her being, leaking out into the world outside her in the form of bright happy sparkles. 

“That would mean so much to me..!,” she sniffled, tears now pricking her eyes like  sparkling jewels from sheer joy.

And just like that, it was decided that Michael could stay at the Hazbin Hotel.

[fanbasetwo]

Hii love! I couldn’t tell if your asks are open or not but I wanted to request reader having their first kiss with hao </3☹️

I love your writing so much btw! 🤍

NOTE : my asks are always open but you can still check it out on the pinned post where I do mention the ask status (if it's closed or not) this is my first hao ask btw + tysm for the compliment, I'm glad you enjoy my works 💕 MASTERLIST!!

You and Zhang Hao had been together since high school. When it was time to grow up and explore job opportunities, the two of you managed to make long-distance work, though you’d always joked about who’d be the one to kiss first once you reunited. When Hao finally moved back to your city after landing a job, things shifted—not in a bad way, but definitely in a new direction. You both decided to live together because, honestly, after five years of dating, it didn’t feel like a big leap.

Still, there were moments of awkwardness, like when you’d share the same bed at night. Sure, you’d cuddle, but neither of you ever took it further—not because you didn’t want to, but because you were both too shy to take the first step. Every touch felt hesitant, every glance carrying the weight of unspoken feelings.

“Hao?” you whispered, nudging him gently. He was sprawled on the bed after a long day at work, clearly exhausted. You both split rent evenly, and lately, you’d noticed how much effort he put into his job. He hummed softly, his body shifting as he turned on his side to face you. Without a word, he pulled you closer, his arm draped around your waist.

“Did you have a hard time at work?” you asked, your voice barely above a murmur as your sleepy eyes met his. He blinked at you, his gaze warm yet hesitant, before one hand reached up to cup your cheek.

“It’s not work,” he said quietly, shaking his head slightly.

“Then what is it?” you pressed, your curiosity piqued.

He hesitated for a moment, his thumb gently brushing against your skin. “It’s about us,” he admitted, his voice soft but tinged with uncertainty. “Are you... not attracted to me anymore?” The question caught you off guard, and you frowned, trying to piece together why he’d think that. “Of course I’m attracted to you,” you replied quickly, your tone laced with confusion. “Why would you feel otherwise?”

He let out a small sigh, looking almost embarrassed. “Because... you never, you know... take any hints. And you don’t really drop any hints either. About wanting... my kisses.”

His words trailed off, his cheeks dusted with a faint pink as he avoided your gaze. You stared at him for a moment before giggling softly, the nervousness between you both dissolving just a little. “Is it because I smell?” he asked suddenly, his tone half-serious, making you laugh even harder.

“Hao, no!” you managed to say through your giggles, shaking your head. “I’m just... nervous.”

“Then... can we do it now?” Hao's voice was barely a whisper, his nose brushing against yours as his hand rested gently on your cheek.

“Right now?” you echoed, your heart racing at his sudden question. His shy yet eager nod made your cheeks flush, and though you wanted to take the lead, the thought itself made you feel timid.

“Okay,” you murmured, giving a small nod of your own.

Neither of you moved at first, the shyness between you lingering in the space where your breaths mingled. It was as though a silent agreement passed between you: close your eyes and let it happen naturally. You squeezed your eyes shut, nerves buzzing through your entire body. And then, it happened—a soft, fleeting brush of his lips against yours. The touch sent a jolt down your spine, warm and electric, leaving you breathless even in its gentleness.

Both of you were lying on your sides, facing each other, and though the moment was slightly awkward, it was perfect in its own way. You tried to remember the romantic scenes you'd seen in dramas and movies, hesitantly capturing his upper lip between your own. Hao followed suit, tentatively suckling on your bottom lip, his movements clumsy yet tender. The kiss was inexperienced, both of you unsure of what to do next, but that only made it more endearing.

Your lips moved together in a rhythm that was anything but polished, yet the emotions behind it made your chest feel tight in the best way. With every soft press, every subtle tilt of your heads, you felt your connection deepen.

It wasn’t perfect or seamless, but it was real, filled with the quiet love and nervous excitement you’d built over the years.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, faces mere inches apart as you opened your eyes. Hao’s lips were slightly parted, his cheeks glowing with a faint blush as he grinned at you.

“That was...” he began, trailing off as he searched for the right word.

You giggled, touching your lips lightly. “Messy?”

“Perfect,” he corrected, his gaze soft and adoring.

[twopoppies]

About those people making up theories just to stir something up from the 4 boys, I just wanna say how dumb that sounds. I, unfortunately, came across the livestream on my YouTube feed as I have been binge watching every 1D content I could find to cheer myself up (I guess the algorithm decided that for me). I decided to check it out for a bit to know what the hell they were streaming - which, as it turns out, were all about the arrivals as if it’s a damn red carpet - then I ended up staying a bit more to report insensitive and offensive comments in the live chat (I’ve been doing the same on Twitter but there are tons of bots reposting).

I saw the time when the four arrived, and they literally arrived in convoy within a span of 6 minutes. They’re making up a nonsense hate narrative just because Louis and Zayn ended up entering the church together after Harry did since their vans pulled up a bit closer to each other, and Niall’s the last one to get out with his gf. JUST BECAUSE OF ONE PHOTO THAT DIDN’T SHOW THE OTHER TWO. Like? No one knows what happened before they went there, what happened inside, nor what happened after they left. Seriously, that’s just dumb. They’re making it a thing because it was a very quiet despite the paparazzis out there (thank god the info they spread yesterday was wrong). AS IT SHOULD. Liam deserves a proper send off.

I’m just ranting a bit because I saw a photo of Louis without his sunglasses and it broke my heart even more. I’ve been crying since I woke up and I know a lot of people here feel the same. I wanted to share that thing where they arrived in convoy, literally 4 cars pulling up within 6 minutes, and I feel like they’ve probably even met up before coming to the service. It was likely a choice to arrive and leave separately, though consecutively, so as not to give the media anything else to put in their headlines.

So, I guess what I’m saying is I hope no one overthinks because of those nonsense theories. And I also agree to stay away from social media, especially on Facebook and Twitter, if you don’t wanna see photos. Effin’ bots all over reposting photos.

Thank you, love. I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough day. I’ve tried to stay away from anywhere I might see the photos. But I did see a couple of Louis that really broke my heart.

It’s such a tragedy any way you look at it. So, for people in the fandom to be focused on stupid fan theories, gossip, and trying to make people feel badly about their faves, is just revolting.

[gnabnahc317cb97]

Cucking Part 3 (the morning after)

Bang Chan x Jeongin x female reader

Word count: 2k

A/n: Most of this came to me last night at 4am when I was trying to go to bed and I just HAD to write it! LMFAO! @hityoulikebahng here's your McDonalds in bed love!

Warnings: Strong language/swearing, suggestive, m2m kissing, mentions reader being sore from the night before (not sure if that's a warning.) I think that's it! This is just a super fluffy, funny, day after interaction between them.

When you woke up the next morning your whole body ached from everything that had happened the night before. The ache made you not want to move a single inch from your spot. Unfortunately, the alarm on Chan’s phone that he was sleeping through the last ten minutes was starting to drive you mad and forced you to. You laid there, face down, and flopped your arm over to reach for the phone and turn it off, accidentally smacking Chan in the face instead. 

“OW! My nose!” You opened your eyes but didn’t lift your head from its spot on your pillow. 

“Ohhhh baby! I’m so sorry, I was reaching for the alarm. I love your nose so much! Is it okay?” You said sleepily, words muffled by the pillow your face was still half buried in. Chan rubbed his nose, blinking the tears from his eyes and reached for his phone to turn the alarm off. He turned over and looked at you once it had been silenced. 

“It’s okay, just was NOT expecting to get woke up THAT way.” You made a pouty face at him as best you could being faceplanted in a pillow. 

“I’m sorry baby.” You whinned. Chan wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him. 

“It’s okay baby girl.” He kissed your cheek and gave you a tight squeeze. Even though you loved it when Chan hugged you tightly, your body was so sore. You couldn’t help the groan you let out in pain. 

“Ughhhh not so tight Channie. I’m achy today.” Chan loosened his grip and kissed your lips this time. 

“Sorry my love.” You shook your head. 

“No, it’s okay. I just hope you don’t have any plans for me today because I’m not moving one fucking inch from this spot.” Chan rubbed the tip of his nose against yours and shook his head. 

“You don’t have to. I made sure we didn’t make any plans for today.” You hummed nuzzling in close to Chan’s warm chest. Then unexpected signs of life came from the maknae on the other side of the bed. 

“Is anyone else as fucking hungry as I am right now?” You and Chan started laughing.  

“YES!” You both yelled in unison. 

“Let’s order breakfast from McDonalds!” Jeongin suggested.” Chan lifted his head, looking over at him. 

“You buying?” Jeongin finally lifted his head from the pillow he’d had his face buried in and looked at Chan. 

“I thought you were.” He cracked a smile as his foxlike eyes narrowed at his hyung. Chan gave him a challenging look back. 

“Gwi bawi bo?” Jeongin nodded sleepy and propped himself up on one of his elbows holding out his fist. Chan did the same. 

“Gwwwiiii baaawiii bo!” Chan shouted. Jeongin threw scissors and Chan threw paper which Jeongin knew Chan had a habit of doing. 

“SHIT!” Chan swore and the maknae laughed. 

“Hahaha! I! WIN! I want a sausage and egg biscuit, 2 hashbrowns, and a small black coffee.” Jeongin flopped back down on the bed basking in his victory and Chan shook his head. 

“What do you want baby girl?” You rolled over onto your back and thought a minute. 

“Get me a sausage egg and cheese Mcmuffin, a hashbrown and an orange juice please baby.” Chan nodded and pecked your lips then grabbed his phone, pulled up the delivery app and ordered everyone’s food. When he was done he sat his phone back on the table by the bed and curled up with you again to wait on the food. You opened your eyes when Chan wrapped his arms around you, spooning you. When you did you saw Jeongin on the other side of the bed alone, laying on his back, hands tucked behind his head. You stretched one of your achy legs towards him and nudged his side with your cold foot. 

“Come join the cuddle puddle Innie!” You reached out with grabby hands and Jeongin scooted closer to you so you could wrap your arms around his body and spoon him. The three of you laid there like that until Chan got the notification that your food had been delivered to the door man down in the lobby. 

“Food’s here! Who’s getting it?” Chan asked. You burrowed deeper into the bed. 

“I told you I wasn’t moving one inch today...” Chan and Jeongin lifted their heads at the same time looking at each other. Jeongin put up a fist and Chan raised his. 

“Gwwwiiii baaawiii BO!” Jeongin threw scissors again but this time Chan threw rock. 

“YESSS!” Chan shouted and Jeongin groaned out. 

“What the hell you ALWAYS throw paper!” Chan laughed. 

“Sorry about your luck maknae! Not this time!” Jeongin let out another dramatic moan and you started pushing his backside with your feet, pushing him towards the edge of the bed. 

“Go on Innieee I’m hungryyyy!” He got up and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and stretching. 

“Okay okay princess, I’m going!” You laughed at the use of the pet name again and his tone, then stretched and spread out in his spot. He looked over his shoulder at you and cocked his eyebrow. 

“What? I’m just keeping it warm for you.” He shook his head laughing and stood up stretching and groaning loudly. He grabbed his pants and put them on, buttoning and zipping them, but since he was coming back and going straight back to bed he couldn’t be bothered fastening the belt hanging from the loops. He found his shirt and put it on, also not bothering to fuss with buttoning it. 

“My slides are by the door if you don’t feel like fucking with socks and shoes.” Chan offered. Jeongin with his fluffy, messy bed head, nodded and waved at him as he yawned, rubbing his eyes and walking out of the room. Jeongin put Chan’s slides on and sleepily made his way down to the lobby of the building to get your McDonalds from the door man.  

When Jeongin made his way to the elevators to go back up to the apartment he saw the same neighbor couple he’d ran into with you the night before. The three of them got on the same elevator and headed up together. When Jeongin looked up he noticed the girl was staring at him. He politely smiled at her and she scowled back at him.  

Her boyfriend noticed the look on her face and nudged her. When he did, she quickly looked away. Jeongin wondered why was she looking at him like that? Probably because he looked like a fucking mess. His hair was sticking up, pillow creases on his face, eyes still puffy from sleep, and he was partially dressed in half a wrinkled suit they’d seen him wearing the night before. 

The elevator finally reached your floor and the doors dinged. When they opened Chan was standing there, shirtless, sweats hanging low on his hips and barefoot. His curls were an absolute mop on top of his head and his eyes, also still puffy from sleep, got a little wider when he noticed the neighbor couple in the elevator with Jeongin. 

“OH! Hey!” Chan gave the couple a shy wave, a little embarrassed to be standing there looking the way he was. He turned towards Jeongin. 

“You were taking a while, so I was just coming to check and make sure you didn’t need any help.” Jeongin nodded then handed Chan the drinks and held onto the bag. The neighbors looked like they were solving long division in their head. They were so confused trying to piece together the dynamic going on between you, Chan and Jeongin. Chan smiled and bowed his head a little at them. 

“Nice seeing you again. Have a good day!” The lag was real. They were STILL trying to figure out just what the relationship was here. It took the couple a minute for them to realize Chan had said something then they both quickly started stumbling over their words telling Chan it was nice to see him and to have a good day as well. Chan and Jeongin made their way down the hall towards you and Chan’s apartment as the neighbor couple watched them from the elevator. 

At that point it was VERY obvious to Chan that they were staring at them. When Chan glanced over his shoulder again and saw them gawking still, he decided to have a little fun at their expense, since they wanted to be so fucking nosey. So, when Chan and Jeongin reached the apartment door Chan stopped Jeongin a moment before going in. The maknae looked confused now too. Chan gave the neighbors, who were STILL staring, another quick glance over Jeongin’s shoulder then leaned in and kissed him and it was not just a LITTLE peck. 

Chan’s free hand threaded through the hair at the nape of Jeongin’s neck pulling him into the kiss. Chan tilted his head kissing Jeongin deeper as he plunged his whole tongue into the maknae’s mouth. Jeongin was caught off guard at first but quickly relaxed. His own free hand came up and cupped Chan’s face as he kissed him back, his tongue dipping into Chan’s mouth tasting him as well.  

When Chan pulled back, he bit and tugged at Jeongin’s bottom lip, then gave his lips a playful lick and shot another look towards his VERY confused neighbors before smiling at them. Chan opened the door, holding it for Jeongin, then gave his stunned neighbors a little wave before entering the apartment. When Chan shut the door and turned around he found Jeongin standing there giving him a crazy look. 

“Uhhh not that I’m complaining buuuuuut what the fuck was that?!” Chan laughed. 

“The neighbors wouldn’t stop staring so I figured they wanted a show.” Jeongin’s brows scrunched up in confusion before realizing what Chan meant. They both laughed their asses off as they walked back to the bedroom with all the food. When they walked in laughing you looked up wondering just what was SOOO funny. 

“What’s up guys?” You sat up on the bed, folding your sore legs crisscross. Chan and Jeongin started handing you your food and drink. 

“Well I think that couple that lives up the hall might not talk to us so much anymore.” You cocked your head confused. 

“Why do you think that?” Jeongin rolled his eyes and shook his head laughing again. 

“Cause Channie hyung decided to try and give me CPR with his tongue right in front of them.” Your jaw dropped. 

“CHAN!” Both of the guys were laughing again.  

“What!? They wouldn’t stop being nosey and staring so I gave them something to stare at.” You shook your head at him. 

“What?!” He asked incredulously. 

“Nothing!” You answered putting your hands up in surrender. 

“I’m just a little disappointed I missed it.” Chan rolled his eyes and Jeongin laughed. 

“I’ll make sure you have front row seats for the next time baby girl.” You smiled a big goofy smile and the guys distributed the rest of the food and got in bed. You were all so hungry you ate in complete silence and it was only a few minutes before all the food was gone. When you were done eating Chan threw everything away and you all got cozy on the bed again.  

You tuned on the tv and had a movie marathon as the three of you laid around all day. When you all got hungry again you determined who paid for and who retrieved the deliveries with more rounds of gwi bawi bo. Just to be fair you even participated when it was time for dinner, although you won both times and didn’t have to pay or go. Chan and Jeongin both accused you of cheating. 

After dinner you put another movie on and as you sat there between the two men you felt a huge sense of relief that, after everything that had happened the night before, nothing had seemed to change between any of you. You scooted in closer to Jeongin, made Chan wrap his arms around you and settled in to watch the movie just as happy and content as you could possibly be. 

[lawofangie]

hello! I need some advice. I've seen numerous success stories and many blogs claiming that you can manifest seemingly illogical and unrealistic things. I want to manifest a completely different desired face, probably similar to looking like a celebrity. Although many people say it's possible and some even claim to have achieved it, I still have doubts that it's true and worry that I just might be wasting my time. I think part of this is from the lack of success stories with photos that show they changed there appearance and look like a whole different person. I really don’t want to have these doubts because they stop me from trying my hardest, but I can't help feeling this way. I’m really scared i’m just wasting my time and even if I continue to assume that i have my df in imagination nothing will change or i’ll just get very tiny differences but end up not looking exactly like my df or that it could just be a placebo and i’m just completely wasting my time. I hope i’m not bothering but thank you for taking the time to read this! ❤️

there's definitely a lot to unpack here. first off, i have seen many success stories on this app and twitter of people manifesting various things, including appearance changes (with and without photo evidence). i've done this myself with various things (i mention them in another post. i haven't touched my face though). the law works, appearance changes are real. if they weren't, nobody would have any reason to say they were. i think it is very obvious when people collectively disagree on something.

second, i think this doubt and lack of faith in the law is due to the fact that so many people are misinformed and misinform other people. the point of the law of assumption is to make assumptions. an assumption is believing something without proof. there is a quote that says "an assumption, though false, if persisted in, will harden into fact." manifesting is just assuming, people literally just have a way of rewording and misconstruing things like usual.

but anyways, you make assumptions on a daily basis, you believe things without proof on a daily basis. it's nothing new. you're just being informed that your assumptions affect your reality, and since they do, and you have the ability to assume absolutely whatever you want, you should just do so in your favor. not because you need to, or anyone's forcing you to, but simply because it's in your best interest to do so.

this is why you affirm "i have ___" or you visualize yourself having ___ or you script about having ___, because assuming you have it now is how you get it. you're literally just being told that you can use this ability to assume to obtain whatever you want, that's all.

third, there is no "trying". you either have your manifestation or you don't. i'm not sure exactly what you're doing, but if the point of the law is to assume, what do you think "trying" implies? obviously, it means you're working to get something, which means you don't have it yet. the point of making an assumption is to believe something without proof. in this context, you're being told to accept you have it now without waiting for proof. you're being told "if you accept this as true without proof, it will materialize in your reality."

i personally don't really care for the "imagination" stuff anymore, i understand what the concept means, but honestly all these concepts get unnecessary at some point. i feel like if you take it the wrong way, it implies some kind of separation between the 3d and 4d (your imagination), when there really isn't any. believing you have it "in imagination" just doesn't sound right to me. i would rather just accept my assumption as the reality and take whatever the 3d is showing me as false.. which is again, literally what assuming is.

like, i have it, no matter what i see, it's still there. i think about my desires the same way i remember i have a bed when i'm not home. you know it's there at home, even if you can't see it, even if you can't feel it. you know it's yours. you may even imagine yourself laying in it sometimes, tired from a long day and being excited to finally go home and sleep.

this is all that's required of you, believe you have it. you don't need to make something appear, you don't need to try and force something to happen. just decide it's yours, like you're being told to.

you have to literally treat your assumption as the proof, like how you would do with the 3d. you have to genuinely believe your assumption, then the 3d will follow. waiting to be validated by the 3d will never work. you will always fail.

also, i think your ability to stay true to your own beliefs about wasting your time and none of it being real perfectly shows how easy it is to accept something as true despite what you're being shown, how able you are to make an assumption. because honestly, why would anyone be preaching the law if it didn't work? there's no logical reason to not practice something you preach or just admit that the law of assumption is not real.

if the law happened to be some sort of scam, it would be obvious. people would clearly be asking you for money, leading you on with all sorts of rules and twists and turns, they would overprice the hell out of their services, etc. but people like me are literally running blogs to help people for free. (most) people literally run these blogs for fun, nothing more. the motivation behind my account at least, is entertainment. talking to and helping people is entertaining. i have no ulterior motive, hardly anyone does.

people have lives, they don't have time to waste hoping something happens. if the law didn't work, so many people wouldn't be telling you it did. it's irrational to think every single person in the community is simply making claims that may be true or false, someone's had to have done it before.

also, you shouldn't need your manifestation validated by the internet. i can understand maybe seeing if someone's manifested one or two more "challenging" things (things being difficult or easy to manifest is completely up to you. no manifestation is different from the others unless you decide it is or attach some meaning to it.) like, to me that would be some like grades or hair texture. but to you, that's an appearance change.

the point i'm making here is that your opinion is different than mine, we find different things difficult. if everybody can have differing opinions and find different things more challenging than others, then it is not up to the object or specific person, but ourselves. if everything can have different levels of difficulty to different people, then these objects and people are inherently neutral, until you add your own assumptions or meanings to them and the way they operate for you.

so, proof, while i understand you want to be validated, is useless. there is tons of it out there, if not on tumblr then on twitter, but i think having photo proof of something not specific works just fine as proof too. you're already told that you can manifest anything, that no manifestation is too big or small, everything is neutral, you are limitless.. so what's the point? everything inherently has an equal value until we as people decide to change that with our assumptions. if you truly need to believe, then prove it to yourself. obviously no amount of internet success stories will help you, they just make you anxious and paranoid.

often times, we think external things are the cause of our problems, so we try to achieve a goal or make a change without changing ourselves first. for instance, i used to think that certain things would make me happy. like finally getting good grades, having my desired body, my desired weight, my desired friends and whatnot. while all of that was nice, i still felt depressed, obviously my life quality changed, so it wasn't exactly as bad as it used to be, but i still felt the way i did because i still needed to do the internal work.

its your perception of things, the way you choose to react, your decisions, etc. that shape your reality. its all you. it will always be all you, because this is YOUR life. the cause of your doubts and worries is you.

getting partial results can't be a thing when manifesting if manifesting is literally just about making assumptions. if you're assuming something to be true, then it's going to be true.. if you think the law magically won't work for you, that's your belief. if you believe that to be true (also without proof because this is purely paranoia), you cannot be surprised that it happened. that's literally the singular rule of the law of assumption, make an assumption, no matter what you decide to assume, it will be true. WE are the ones suggesting you assume in your favor.

and honestly the more i read these asks (no offense to you), the more i wonder what you guys think manifestation is. do you just say a bunch of words, create a bunch of images in your head, etc, and wait for something to happen? i mean, who or what exactly do you think is "giving you" your manifestation in the first place? why are you receiving anything? is it a reward for affirming enough? for visualizing enough? for scripting enough?

your inability to answer this question correctly is most likely the reason why you have so many doubts. you clearly think someone or something outside of you dictates what you do or don't get.. which doesn't make any sense, neither do the questions i asked. the law of assumption does not work that way.

you aren't receiving anything for doing a good job. there isn't some god or higher being giving you anything or dictating anything regarding your manifestations. it's you. the point of making the assumption is that your assumptions create your reality. whatever you believe to be true materializes. you're just being shown a way to use your ability to assume to your advantage.

i would suggest you build faith, maybe put that manifestation aside for now and at least manifest something with less significance to you, but still specific. something that you can use to help prove manifestation to yourself. then maybe come back to this desire when you feel more confident in your manifestation abilities.

this is really all i can say because there is no way of getting around the way the law works. in order to have favorable things happen to you, you have to assume in your favor. that's really it. however you practice and get the hang of manifesting is up to you. still, this is the only rule and you have to use it to your advantage if you want manifesting to work for you.

[darcytaylor]

The Importance of Staying Grounded in Speculative Conversations

It’s that time again, where I’m writing what might be a thought-provoking post? Inspirational? Overbearing? I know most of you are probably tired of these by now, but hey, maybe there’s something worth considering in what I’m about to say. Or maybe not. Who’s to say?

So why am I writing this? Is it to convince you to agree with me? No, you don’t have to. Is it to share my personal take on what's going on? Nah, honestly, I don’t think my opinion matters that much. Do I have thoughts on what’s happening? Sure, but it’s not my place to tell anyone how to think or what to believe. But maybe I can offer a perspective on speculation and how people engage with it:

I’ve been reflecting on how people engage with speculation (shocking, I know! haha), especially in fandoms and even in other public spaces. People have this undeniable passion for what they believe to be true, and while that passion can be understandable - and even admirable at times - it can go a little overboard.

When I say, “I don’t actually know what’s going on because I don’t know the people involved,” I tend to get a couple of reactions: Some people see it the same way, some people get defensive, some people try to convince me to see things their way. But here’s the truth: I don’t know the people involved - and neither do you. None of us know the full story or what’s going on behind the scenes.

A lot of people will say, “But look at the evidence! It’s so obvious!” And here’s where I disagree: Without firsthand knowledge, we’re essentially trying to put together a puzzle with most of the pieces missing. And drawing conclusions from that? It’s risky at best - and misleading at worst.

What really gets to me, though, is the need some people have to stir the pot (and I guess this is the main reason I make posts like this). It seems like some people want to rile others up, making it appear like they know more or that their perspective is the only one that matters. Maybe it’s a way to feel validated or in control, but in the end, it doesn’t help anyone. It just adds noise and fuels unnecessary drama, which - can be harmful!!

When people get defensive about their views, I think I could be because they’re seeking reassurance. They want to feel like they’ve figured it out. But the truth is: none of us have all the answers. We’re all just outsiders looking in.

For me, staying grounded means accepting that I don’t have the full picture - and that’s okay. It means being open to the possibility that there could be many explanations for a situation and choosing not to rush to conclusions. This isn’t about being overly cautious or passive - it’s about showing respect. It’s about letting people live their lives without outsiders treating their guesses like hard facts.

I think if more people took this approach, fandom spaces and public discourse would be a lot less toxic. It became so toxic for me that at one point I had to step away, because of he vile anonymous asks I was getting. It’s entirely possible to have thoughtful, respectful conversations without falling into the “I’m right, and you’re wrong” trap. A little humility, and a lot more recognition that things are often more complicated than they seem, could really make a difference.

At the end of the day, none of us have all the answers -and that’s fine. What’s not fine is turning speculation into fact or stirring up drama when it isn’t necessary. So, can we be more mindful, respectful, and take a step back from the impulse to turn every guess into something?

If you see a take that isn't damaging, you don’t need to respond just because you don’t agree with it. You can let people have their own perspectives without degrading others. That said, I have no respect for speculation when it comes to matters that are too personal or just downright mean, especially when people try to act like it isn’t. Some things shouldn't be speculated on, and treating them as public fodder isn’t just disrespectful - it’s harmful.

Life’s complicated enough without us making it harder than it already is.

[esmereldapearl]

Random head-cannons for PJO (again):

- Nico loves music videos— like Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi MTV performance he would love. (Maybe too because if Lady Gaga played during his stay at the casino, it might remind him of good memories with his older sister.)

- Hazel has met Bianca. I like to think that Bianca sat with her before leaving because Nico was coming to save Hazel. Like Bianca knew that was her sister the same way Nico knew— but Bianca sort of knew it would happen but wanted to meet Hazel— have a sibling relationship with Hazel. (This is leading into AU stuff) I feel like Hazel wouldn’t know until she found a random photo of her when going through some of Nico’s stuff he had as a kid.

- I feel like Will is the type of character for when something insane happens this is his reaction:

Percy: Hey man, so uh, during Harleys maze, I may or may not have broken like- two bones? One is my arm, the other is Annabeth’s ankle.

Will: *one eye twitches as he sort of half glare, half not yet still shocked* Mkay Percy.

(Like just imagine Will on his last straw, that’s how I imagine this)

- Kayla and Michael were really close. Lee and Will were also very close.

- Michael hid a safe in the infirmary that had files and stuff that he wanted hidden— also like random possessions and letters/ stuff from Lee except nobody could find it and then when they did find it nobody knew the code. Kayla did some digging and found the code. (They refused to let anybody try to break the safe or have Hermes cabin try to pick the lock)

- I have quite a few headcannons for Kayla even though she hasn’t been seen much throughout the books. I feel like one of the bigger ones I have is that she has two older siblings who are twins- very random, but she doesn’t really have a cannon backstory (yet?).

- Once the Apollo cabin realizes that Nico has not seen like— a lot of pop culture stuff and Disney movies, they force him to watch a lot of them.

- Everyone, including Nico, forgets that Nico was born in like the 1930/1940s until they bring up some big historical fact and he’s like:

Will: Ya’ll up for watching this rocket take off? You can see it from our cabin, it’s gonna go to the moon.

Nico: What do you mean to the moon?

Will: ??? Wait do you not know about the moon landing?

Nico: PEOPLE HAVE GONE TO SPACE???

(This is the only historical event I could think of for some reason)

- Nico would 100% love video games and love like a 3DS

- Hazel cusses— like a lot— mostly when she’s annoyed/angry though.

- Frank is good with younger campers. He likes to reassure them that it’ll be okay and try’s to make them laugh

- Nico is less emo/dark and more just- random? I don’t think he has a set style, nor do I think he’s gloomy— I think of him more like a combo of Sam and Sebastian from Stardew Valley.

- Nico likes to hangout in the infirmary and goof off with Kayla and Austin. Will’s glad they get along

- Lee or Michael had set a rule where you can’t hang from the beams in the ceiling— Kayla disregards the rule quite a bit.

- Will 100% has a southern accent— not like a full blown accent but it mixes with his daily speech. Like specific words and phrases bring the accent back.

- Hazel and Nico like to draw— both have completely different styles though, and Nico draws more often while Hazel experiments with art.

- Hazel (and Nico) likes to visit Nico and talk to her brother often- so they hangout like once a month and talk very often. I feel like after Leo would create some device/adapter to make it so monsters wouldn’t attack every time you sent a text, they’d text more often than Iris message. (Ik not everyone has the best relationships w/their siblings but my sister and I are like this so I promise I’m speaking from experience lol) like every piece of gossip/major event, every “what would you do in this situation”, etc

Hazel: OMG NICO

Nico: WHAT???

Hazel: PERCY AND ANNABETH ARE ENGAGED— YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE HOW.

Nico: OH GODS.

[headfullof-ideas]

Alright the character I’m sure a few people have been waiting for since my post last night, but behold; Alpheus Benthos in my crossover AU!

Alpheus Benthos is the distant, very estranged, cousin of the Nekton family, though the exact point of where their relation starts is a little mystifying, even to Alpheus himself. All they know is that their families were cousins, dating back to when Lemuria was still the great kingdom it was, six thousand years ago. Lemuria is long gone though, and the Benthos name doesn’t mean much anymore.

Alpheus is perfectly happy being a loner. He was raised by the Order of the Guardians of Lemuria, but he doesn’t hold many of the same ideals as them. While the Guardians are concerned with other people, Alpheus is focused on his own goals, and doesn’t really care about anything else going on around him. The Dragon Trappers organization building in size and strength, the underground trading routes building in secret, the chaos his cousin family gets into, and the rumors of dragon raids in the Archipelago, are all of little concern to Alpheus. Even the rumors of dragon riders don’t mean much to Alpheus, the idea that someone would ride a dragon completely absurd. That’s not to say he doesn’t have his own dragon, but she’s not for riding, so it’s not the same.

Alpheus is content to lay low and below people’s noses, where he’s most comfortable and best prepared to deal with anyone who comes after him. Alpheus won’t admit it, but he’s making a point by staying away from all the Dragon Trappers business. Viggo Grimborn is known for his intellect and strategic mind, and Alpheus doesn’t want to cross his path, lest Viggo discover what Alpheus’s goals are. His cousins are annoying, and Alpheus loves to mess with the littlest of the family, his dear cousin Fontaine. However, she’s no match for him, so quite frankly she bores him. Alpheus is doing everything he can to avoid the Guardians, who aren’t happy with his poking about the Leviathan Class dragons that plagued Lemuria’s history, of which he’s determined to get to the bottom of.

I’ve left Alpheus’s goals and motives pretty vague, because I’m still not sure which direction I want to go with him. There’s not really any magic in the world of HTTYD, which means the magical Scepter isn’t really a thing, which means the prophecy of the Chosen One isn’t really a thing, which takes away a lot of what Alpheus in The Deep was trying to accomplish. Which means I have to figure out something different. And considering the fact that I plan on having the Riders meet Alpheus POST time-skip, they won’t be meeting edgy and angsty eighteen year old Alpheus. So I have to figure out what twenty-one year old Alpheus is like, and what his goals are. I do have a vague idea though, but I’m gonna need to flesh it out more, as well as the seasons of RTTE that will be covering The Deep’s storyline. I’ve been leaving it as a vague feeling more than anything else, so I think I’m gonna have to work on that soon. I know I’m already gonna finish outlining everything that happens before the time-skip, before finishing writing the first film, just so I know what events can be referenced or not because they’ve already happened