#I mean I have to get my exercise in anyway; might as well make the most of it before I move out right?

[hexcitrine]

randomly looked at this account to update my age and holy shit it's been a while since i posted here..........i have a small pile of art i have yet to post but hbhbshdbshbd too lazy

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

So I guess it’s time for me to advertise to the entire neighborhood how insufferably neurodivergent I am by blaring a very specific playlist on a portable speaker while I ride my bike around the neighborhood, wearing very specific clothes — holding my hands, face, and posture in a very specific way — and pray to Satan (not really… I’m agnostic just like someone else, unironically) they understand what I’m trying to tell them with the music, and make the connection between the name I’m alluding to and exactly what that name means, and put two and two together that the name will happen to them if they take any pamphlets from my father seriously and decide to convert to the path of “everlasting life on a paradise earth” ahahAhAHAHAHA I AM MAD SCIENTIST! (sunuvabitch)

[demonsword586]

Gehenna pp headcanons! (Just nobles)

(A little warning. This gets explicit. I was trying to make it goofy but I think I might have gone a bit....off. Still I hope you enjoy it. Mind you,I never saw a pp before,only an imaginary one of my friend and they still didn't let me poke it.)

Sitri

- Okay let's start off with the size...just from what I seen of him,I think he's on the bigger side. Definetlly bigger than Satan and his king is still pissed about that from time to time.

- 20-21 cm I think

-Now he is a gentleman. He was raised in hell called Hades. Which means he was probably taught of proper higene. In other words,this man's lower region is as smooth as a baby.

-Smells like tea. He drank so much tea,his piss now smells good and his cum tastes like black tea.

-Now for the shape and color. I think his tip is on a brighter side of pink. It's suprisingly slim and elegant compared to someone like Satan who's penis looks like a meat claymore.

-Anyway good penis on a good man. Refreshing as well if you need a man with flavoured cum.

Zagan

- Hmm....Now for Zagan,I think he's a grower.

-His bulge is pretty small but if we think on how much he exercises,there's no way he isn't training his penis as well.

-Okay hear me out. He has a little workout routine for his pp. He flexes up his muscles and makes it go up and down,probably does a helicopter to warm it up.

-And it actually works! His pp has grown in lenght and girth from his training and now he can make it hard on command.

-He does smell a bit funny though. He works out and while yes,you can hide the scent of sweat on most of your body,this is one part where he can'r mask the scent because it is simply too strong.

-My point? His pp smells...of manliness!

-He tries to take care of his pubes but would prefer to keep a small white bush above the shaft. You can't get him to shave it off tho. The bush stays.

-Also I think most of his cock is the color of his skin except his tip which is just one shade lighter.

-His seed tastes like protein tho.

Paimon

- Tucks it. I can't explain why but he tucks it. This bulge? Those are his balls.

-The actual size of it is around 13 cm. A little small for a devil but still packs a punch.

-He wears very cute underwear. He knows no one will see it but it just feels nice to know he has something cute on. Wears comfier undies when he's home and done for the day.

-Likes to put glitter on it. He just thought it would be a funny little thing if he putted some of that super fine and sticky glitter on the shaft....and now he puts on a little fasion show for the other nobles every once in awhile.

-It's actually good tho. He uses those little brushes and stencils. He once even did it for Leraye who then ran around pantless to show everyone how talented Paimon is at dick decoration.

-Sometimes when he thinks he doesn't smell good,he might put some parfume on it. Don't be suprised when his pp smells like flowers or vanilla.

-Very well groomed. No hair on the balls or around the penis. The only thing that he does have...is a little heart shaped bush slightly above his pp.

-The penis itself is on a little more girthy side and when hard it leans slightly to the right. Pretty pale with a pale pink tip.

Leraye

- flat

- Anyway Leraye I think is also a grower. It may not look impressive flaccid wirh only 12 cm but when it gets HARD..oh boy. It goes from a puppy to a wolf. This thing is easily 21 cm once you wake it up.

- The shape is on a leaner side. Being slender but also long. He does hower go thicker around the base. But only at the base,like a slight knot.

- He once walked in on Zagan when he was warming up his pp with the helicopter move and then very euthusiasticlly asked Zagan to teach him.

-Next time you two were about to have a passionate night he wanted to show you a trick. Wipes it out and then swings his pp around like a disco ball while saying 'Look what I can do!😃' It ended up being a little joke between the two of you.

-Suprisingly doesn't have a headless teddy anywhere near his cock. If you ask him,maybe just our of curiousity,why he doesn't have a teddy there like on his horn he will look at you with dread. That would be just rude of him to dirty the dead body of a plushie by impaling it on his pp. He can't bring himself to go as low as Glasyal.

- He does have a bit of pubic hair. A small, dishaved,blond bush . Very pretty and suits him. Please let him keep it.

-His cock is as milky as him. A very pretty color with a flush tip.

Belial

- Normal. Questionably normal lenght. It's not too big and not too small. Just...normal. maybe falls a cm or two from perfect.

-It's also on a little skinnier side. Nice and thin.

-Still size isn't everything. It's important how he uses it....and unfortunatelly for you,he's good!

-He manages to fill in for the lack of impressivness with his experience.

-He is quite strong so with him you're able to try some more adventurous positions like the bicycle or the ballet dancer.

-Gets easily moist. His precum is very watery so his tip looks like it's always glistening.

-Very well groomed. Almost no hair down there except for a thin strip. Also the carpet maches the drapes,his pubes have red ends.

- He also has 2 frenum piercings. Astaroth recommended him to get them,saying " You will corrupt many mortals with these. "

-The dick itself is pretty pale with a darker shade of pink at the tip.

Astaroth

- OH HOLY MARY

- *cough* Sorry *cough* thighs...

-Anyway! Let's go from the size down....BIG. The snake on his bory isn't the only snake he has.

- 26 cm

- You know how snakes hide their pps in what looks like a slit? Yea Astaroth can do that.

-Normally he keeps it inside of himself,but when he gets shy or horny,it pops out and his pants suddenly look a little heavier. There was a time when Sitri didn't know about his anathomy and just saw him suddenly get a bulge. He asked him if he just shat himself.

- Once out and hard,his cock naturally curves upwards. It's just slightly thicker than a normal one but with how long it is,that may be for the best.

- He has a dydoe piercing on the head of it. He considered going for more but decided not to after how intense it felt. He does always wonder how it would feel like if his piercings got stuck inside of you. How romantic~ Two lovers tied together as one for eternity~ (Thankfully it never happens. He is nice enough to take them off if you don't like the feel of them)

- He likes to keep himself well groomed. I mean very well groomed. He waxes off everything and then puts extra virgin olive oil on top. He also puts some on his shaft from time to time to make it a bit more smooth and squishy.

[needle-thread-thimble-spear]

RGU and the Transfeminine, Part 1

OR

Why Miki Kaoru is an Egg

Fig. 1: The Sunlit Garden

When I’d first watched through Revolutionary Girl Utena, Miki Kaoru was initially one of the characters I had the hardest time figuring out. Unlike the other poisoned sibling relationships in the show, Miki and Kozue’s didn’t really make much sense to me. I couldn’t decide how I felt about the character, whether he was “better” somehow than Touga, Saionji, or Akio, or if he was “just as bad”. And of course. What the hell is with that damn stopwatch dude??* Looking at fan writings afterward just deepened the confusion. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what’s going on with Miki. It’s only after much re-watching, and introspection, that I think I’ve figured out why I’m so conflicted about the character. I’d like to share why- and hopefully along the way I can at least show that Miki is more interesting than many give him credit for. Click the readmore if you please!

(And, to be clear, what is written below is a reading, a blend of evidence from the text, from the subtext, and my own personal experience. I do not claim to be the first to interpret the character this way nor do I claim that this is the definitive read of the character. Nonetheless, I hope I can make my case to you!)

and, a big thank you to @empty-movement for collating all the high quality screengrabs and scans in this post!

Fig 2: Rookie Princes

While I’m not the first to notice, I think it’s frequently overlooked just how similar Utena and Miki are in the first arc. It’s definitely something that flies over the heads of many first-time viewers. But Miki and Utena, are extremely alike! Of course, they are both motivated by an unattainable image of the past, and Miki’s early episodes codify the “sunlit garden” into the RGU symbolic environment. But it’s more than just this. Utena and Miki both treat Anthy in basically the same way. Utena has an easy time convincing Miki that the dueling game is objectifying nonsense. That the principled thing is to leave the whole exercise behind and treat Anthy like a person. It isn’t very hard for Miki to convince Utena to duel him for her hand either. They both view themselves as her personal protector, and (while maybe at different times), both project their imagination of what she must be thinking onto her. Utena does a bit more than Miki to try and figure Anthy out, but it doesn’t take much for her to get swept up in her own image of prince. In both their minds, Anthy needs them to save her. And, when Anthy looks them in the eyes, and tells them. I’m not yours. It destroys them. Freezes them in their tracks, breaks their hearts. Screaming, its a lie, you can’t mean that! Of course they get along so well! They see themselves in one another, plain as day. Little rival princelings, seeking the affections of the same princess, but always with chivalry and good intention.

Fig 3: Heartbreak

But I think there is more to it than that! Miki and Utena (and later Nanami) are some of the youngest duelists (at least, without a black rose anyway). And, they have fairly similar relationships to the other members of the student council. Juri acts as an older friend, mentor, and source of advice for both of them. Its not unlikely that she sees her younger self in the two of them, and while she does very directly take this out on Utena, its her sword that Utena takes to her second duel with Touga. Indeed, Touga manipulates Miki and Utena in unsubtle and sexually aggressive ways, as compared to how he might treat Saionji or Juri. And for both, its their relationship to gender that he directly attacks. He attempts to break Utena’s spirit by turning her “back into a normal girl”, and for Miki he seems to challenge his masculinity. And while this may seem as though the two of them are being shoved in opposite directions, in both cases, Touga hits them in the same place. “You’re a prince then? I don’t think so. Unless you prove it”. Touga isn’t the only one to question Miki’s ability or status. Utena and Juri both tell Miki. You are much more suited to playing piano than dueling. The main difference here is that they tell him this with genuine compassion, but the implication is the same. You aren’t suited to this prince thing. Give it up.

I don’t think it’s just the audience who is conflicted slotting in Miki with the other “men”.

Fig 4: Strange Friends

Much ink has been spilled on Miki and Kozue’s relationship, but I do think there is one thing consistent across readings. There is a power struggle going on between them, and they’ve both got something to hold over the others head. Personally, I don’t believe there is any attraction between them. Rather, What’s Going On With Those Two is their mismatch in understanding their sexuality and the RGU concept of “Reality”, and the friction that creates in their image of themselves and one another. That reading may go as follows. Miki sees Kozue as acting dangerously and immorally. In his mind, she is his responsibility, to keep out of trouble at the very least. Perhaps he sees himself as needing to step in for their absent parents. So he sees himself as the mature and grounded one, a father figure needing to keep the both of them on the straight and narrow. Kozue on the other hand, sees Miki as being essentially blind to Reality (with a capital R). She believes he doesn’t have a good grasp of what sex is, or what adult relationships look like. She may believe that she understands what happened with their parents much better than Miki, and clearly sees that her brother is in danger with his creepy music teacher. So she sees herself as the mature and grounded one, needing to protect her brother both by warding off people who would take advantage of him and by getting him to grow up and see things as they Really are. Without their parents, they feel the need to take care of one another and control how the other approaches their sexuality. But in the end, it does seem that Kozue is the one who is better able to manipulate Miki’s behavior, helping Akio convince him to duel a second time. That Miki needs to grow up and accept what he wants. He sees a vision of Anthy, and he’s driving the akiomobile. And, with fearful realization, he discovers the identity of End of the World.

Fig 5: Fear

So then. Why should Miki be so hung up about his sexuality? It clearly makes him very uncomfortable. And why does he compare the sister he had in the past onto the one he has in the present? What’s so special about that sunlit garden, anyway? What is Miki Kaoru’s shining thing?

Let me spin a yarn, if you'll indulge me-

As far as Miki remembers it, when he was little things were perfect. His parents were still there, and he and his twin sister were thick as thieves. They would play piano together, and drink milkshakes. Things were simple and happy as far as he’s concerned, and while his childhood was not nearly as rosy as he remembers, it was certainly better than whatever he has to deal with now. Now his parents are gone for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, and his sister has drifted away from him and acts promiscuously. His body is starting to change, and it fills him with disgust. Worse still, he finds himself envying his sister for some reason. It all floods him with shame. He needs to fight those feeling with everything he has. Being very clever for his age, he finds himself the youngest member of the student council. He becomes involved with the dueling game as it is revealed to him, and goes along with it, not wanting to act out of place. He gets a crush on Anthy, and is unable to figure out what the hell he should do about it. Later, he meets Utena, and the two become fast friends. And how lucky, his new friend is roommates with his crush! She’s just so perfect. She’s kind, and quiet, and chaste, not at all like his sister. He feels a kinship with her. And in an act of cosmic fate- she plays for him his favorite childhood arrangement. It’s just as Touga says. He can’t let the world get to her, the way its getting to his sister. The way its getting to him. He needs to make sure that Anthy, and his memories, are safe. But alas- it seems she doesn’t feel the same way. She’d rather be with Utena. Hopefully, Utena can protect her where he cannot. Miki and Utena go back to being friends, and he nurses his hurt feelings privately. It wouldn't do to make a scene about it, and besides, it wasn’t appropriate for him to think of her like that anyway. Thinking about anyone like that. He can’t help but feel disgusted with himself for allowing it. Later, his relationship with his sister continues to deteriorate, and his father is remarrying. But he can stick by his principles, and stay out of it all, the dueling especially. Kozue, Touga, and Akio have other plans. He is confronted with Reality, and it terrifies him. He sees himself in the drivers seat, Anthy his. This is what he is now, no point in trying to hide from it. He challenges Utena again, taking an early advantage utilizing his new resolve and Utena’s confusion. But that resolves breaks quickly. What is Kozue doing with Anthy?

Pay attention, or you’ll lose.

Fig 6: Crash!!

Miki is disgusted with himself, his role, because he does not want it. He hates what’s happening to himself and his family. He admires Utena and Juri, for embodying his ideal self. He listens to Touga, puts up with his music teacher, even if they make him feel gross and uncomfortable, because he feels he has to and that he doesn’t have a choice. He idolizes Anthy, so much. He is attracted to her, but maybe there is something more. Maybe, Miki wishes he could be her. Miki, in my mind, is a closeted trans lesbian going through puberty as a boy. I think that part of this might be projection, perhaps. But I hope that I might have made my case using the text of the show. But even if you disagree, I hope that you might have a better appreciation for his character. I think he’s fairly consistently people’s least favorite council member as a character, but honestly he’s my favorite and I think there’s a lot more too him than a lot of people give him credit for.

Fig 7: Three Lesbians Hanging Out

… this all being said. I think it’s interesting that Miki thinks Anthy is the picture of femininity right? That this is what he wants.

In the end, all girls are like the rose bride.

Please wait patiently while I make the case, that while Miki is an egg. Anthy has long since hatched...

(And I do mean be patient! This subject, and the concept that Ohtori represents a transmisogynystic institution at its very core, is WAY more personal than this headcanon, and also is much more of a difficult thing to write for dozens of reasons. I'm still not 100% sure it would even be right of me to post my thoughts on that publicly. But if enough people are interested, maybe that would motivate me to write it!)

*What’s a good Miki essay without some sort of Stopwatch Theory tm? Well (and I freely admit much of this is probably projection, but it’s not just me projecting! It’s also my girlfriend!!), Miki seems to get very wrapped up in his own thoughts. He is very self conscious, takes the criticisms of others very seriously, and also seems to get ideas about How Things Are Going To Happen in his head. He desperately tries to make sense of his surroundings, and finds himself consistently failing to do that. So my guess is the stopwatch is a way for him to regulate and calibrate his thoughts and hypotheses and self image. He picked it up in his duty as council secretary, but its something he feels is significant outside of that. Aha moment? Click. Unexpected end to a council meeting? Click. Something go completely as expected? Click. It helps him process I think. That is my formal Stopwatch Hypothesis tm.

Supplement Fig 1: Stopwatch

[deanscherrypie420]

🄱🄴🄰🄲🄷 🄳🄰🅈

A/N: It's summer! I figured I should write some summer fics <3 I hope you enjoy! Let me know if there are any errors <3333

Characters: The BAU team, Reader Y/N

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Reader

Warnings: just alll fluff, minor alcohol reference, FLUFF!!!

Summary: After a rough case, everyone decides to unwind with a nice slumber party - as Garcia would say - at the beach.

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Y/N loaded into JJ's car with Emily and Penelope, stuffing their bags into the trunk before her and Emily slid into the back seat, Penelope taking the passenger.

Jennifer was talking about her relationship with Will, and how generous he is for agreeing to stay home with Henry. "Well, hold up. Now that we're on the topic, have you and Reid made a move yet?" Emily questioned Y/N, earning an excited Oh yeah from Garcia.

"Seriously? Me and him aren't even together-" She tried, but the ball of energy in front of her wasn't having it. "That is the point! Oh. My. Goodness! Today, at the beach, you, you and him!" Penelope explained, flailing her hands around in excitement.

"Yeah, I mean you're gonna be lookin' all hot in your bikini. Might as well make a move." Emily added, making Y/N roll her eyes. "Guys, cut it out." She deadpanned, an annoyed edge in her voice.

"What's up? I thought you two liked each other?" JJ prodded. Y/N groaned and her shoulders slumped. "I'm not the prettiest girl in the world. I doubt seeing me in a bathing suit is gonna change his mind on that."

All three of the girls next to her gasped, a bit dramatized, and turned to face her. Jennifer looked at her through the mirror and gave her a 'Bitch please' look. "What? I'm just being realistic!" She tried to defend herself.

"You're being pessimistic!" Penelope argued, Emily nodding along with her words. JJ pulled the car over at the edge of a hill. Penelope raised a brow and stared her down, "The beach is down there? Are you serious? What part of no exercise do you not understand!"

The girls laughed and collected their stuff from the trunk. They were wearing their swim-suits underneath their t-shirts, not bothered to put pants over.

Y/N walked to the beach, stepping carefully around rocks as she made her way down the hill. She hopped down once she made it to the sand, then used her hand to shield her eyes from the sun.

Hotch and Jack were in the water, playing what seemed to be tag. Rossi was drinking wine underneath the fortress of shade they made, laying back in a comfortable chair.

Derek ran over to them, a huge grin on his face. "Hey ladies! Where the bikinis at?" He helped Penelope down and pulled her into a hug, then looking back to the rest of them.

"You're such a tease." Emily joked, following Y/N to the canopies. Y/N set her stuff down on her new-claimed chair and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

Spencer ran up to Morgan and Garcia, rushing to explain the cool rock he found. "It's sea glass! Look," He lifted the pink crystal up to show Garcia. "It's a natural piece of rock, and it gets it's glass like look from, from, uh-"

He started stammering when he noticed Y/N slip her t-shirt over her head, leaving her in a small, black bikini. He tried to continue speaking, he really did, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

She was marvelous, curves and all. Morgan noticed and nudged his shoulder. "Ooh, someone has a crush." He teased and Spencer quickly turned his focus away from her. "I do not. Anyway-"

He continued to teach them about the importance and history of sea glass for a good fifteen minutes, Derek yawning comically every few minutes.

Y/N ran up behind them and jumped on Reid's back, hugging his torso tight. "Spence! Come on, let's go swim!" She insisted, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from his conversation.

Penelope gave Reid a thumbs up and then went with Derek to set her stuff down. Spencer followed her to the water, trying not to look below her waist. Jack ran up to her and they could see JJ scolding Hotch.

"You should've told me you were bringing Jack! I would've brought Henry!" She explained to him and he nodded putting his hands up in defense.

"Y/N! Can you swim with me!" Jack asked, and she crouched down, brushing her ass against Spencer's crotch without realizing. He stepped back, swallowing hard.

"I'm not the best swimmer, so maybe we should bring Spence with us?" She offered, and Jack nodded, taking her hand and dragging her deeper into the water.

Spencer turned and saw Morgan running after her, Jack's giggling growing. "What are you lau-" She started, but Derek lifted her up and ran her further out, throwing her far out into the sea.

She was screaming and cursing, laughter bellowing from everyone. Y/N was shivering as she ran out of the water, grappling onto Morgan and pushing him down.

Spencer was laughing hard, trying to cover his mouth with his hand to conceal his amusement. She glanced at him, a wicked grin tugging up the corners of her mouth.

She charged after the man, jumping on him like she had earlier. He caught her effortlessly and spun her around, dizzying her no doubt. JJ took out her phone and started recording, and David refilled his bottle of wine. "Young love." He said in a sing-song voice.

"Okay! Okay! Put me down!" Y/N begged relentlessly, kicking her legs and squealing. Spencer didn't want to, he liked being this close with you, but he gave into her requests and tossed her back into the water.

She shrieked and crawled out of the water as quick as possible, wiping sand off of her knees. Spencer studied her, his cheeks warming as he traced her body with his eyes.

"Hey, Lover-Boy! Get over here, we got sandwiches!" Derek called out to them. He looked down at her, a playful grin growing on his lips. They'd known each other for forever, accumulating a secret language over the years.

Race you? He asked with his eyes, and she bit her lip in agreement, her eyes twinkling. They started running, and he easily took the lead. Suddenly, she gasped and grabbed her knee, a low groan escaping her throat.

He turned and rushed over to her, crouching by her side. "Hey, what happened? Are you okay?" He asked and she shook her head. "I think I pulled a muscle." She explained and he frowned. "Let me take a look at it,"

When his hand met her calf, she grabbed it and pushed him face-first into the sand. "You can't beat me, Spencey!" She taunted as she ran towards the canopies, leaving him in the wind.

He stood up and jogged over as well, catching the sandwich Emily tossed at him. "That wasn't fair! You cheated." He bargained, and Hotch shook his head, Jack mirroring his actions. "That seemed pretty fair."

Y/N just giggled, reaching into the cooler for her drink. She preferred Truly drinks over beer or wine, the fruity taste more enjoyable in her opinion. She moved things around in an attempt to find them, but had no luck.

"Seriously? Did we forget my shit?" She all but whined. The sun was gonna start setting within a few hours and she wanted to end the night with a buzz.

Penelope looked over her shoulder, helping her search the ice-chest. "No, no, no. I swear I packed them!" She said as she aimlessly looked around.

"You can share my wine, and that's a limited time offer." Rossi proposed, fake cheering his glass in the air. She just shook her head, biting the inside of her cheek as she tapped her hip.

"Oh! In the pink ice-chest! I left it in the trunk, I'm sorry!" JJ cleared the air, shoving her phone into her top - a make-shift pocket. "I can go with you to get it if you want?"

"I'll go with her." Spencer offered, nearly cutting JJ off. "Oh, yes, yeah. You two go ahead." She said as she waved them over to the hill trail.

Y/N made small talk as they walked up to the car. She was walking in front of him and he found it quite tantalizing, having to divert his eyes somewhere else every few seconds.

When they reached the car, she popped the trunk and Spencer raised it. She unlatched the cooler and hooted in triumph. "Yes! God, I can't live without these." She cracked open a can and took a swig, lifting it up and offering it to Reid.

"You know I don't drink, Y/N." He explained and she rolled her eyes. "Right, right. Can't believe I forgot." She said sarcastically, setting the drink down onto the trunk bed. "Also, you're carrying that. You're the strong one here."

Spencer scoffed and shook his head, finding her childish behavior amusing. Something else was on his mind though, something he wanted to do while she was still sober.

"Hey, Y/N?" He stepped closer, nearly trapping her by the car. "Yes?" She felt her heart flutter, the close proximity letting butterflies loose in her stomach.

Before she knew it, he had kissed her. It was soft and slow, his plush lips moving gently against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, more passion seeping in.

He pulled away, a boyish smile playing on his lips. "I've wanted to do that for awhile. I really like you, Y/N." He told her and she knew her cheeks warmed.

"I really like you, too." She said before kissing him again. He smiled into the kiss and then scooped her up, tossing her over his shoulder. He grabbed the cooler and her drink in the other hand, beginning to walk back down the path.

"Put me down, Spence!" She squealed and giggled, his laughter only making hers grow. "This is what you get for throwing me in the sand!" He chuckled, bouncing her up his shoulder more for a better grasp. She yelped and then broke into loud fits of laughter along with him.

The group watched them as they came back down, shit-eating grins on all of their faces. "Finally," Aaron said. Morgan turned around and pointed at him, "I knew they had a thing for each other!" He exclaimed and the group broke out into their own laughter.

"We all did!"

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A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed! This was super fun to write! Leave requests if you have any <3 Follow, like and comment <33

[wl16kg]

Mild Rules For Studious Anas

Because we are academic weapons, our brains need nutrition, so exaggerated low cal eating habits deteriorate our thinking.

But we won’t let studying take away our skinniness! We stay locked in, both academically and…oh well… physically?

We have to set rules in order to be able to achieve academic excellence and our gw, which -when done wrongly- can become contradictory.

But don’t worry, I got you!!

Here are some simple weight loss rules for high achievers, both academically and…erm…you know what i mean anyway:

1. eat before tests! you can ⭐️ ve the whole day after the test if you’re worried about gaining! But don’t worry about that when an important exam is right before your very eyes! You have to score high! You can 💫 ve later, girl!!

2. try intermittent fasting, stop eating before 11 and after 16. (of course you can sculpt this format however you like- just try to keep up with the fast)

3. black coffee, 0 cal drinks and tea are your best friend!

4. exercise in the weekends- it takes your mind off work a bit and gets you to burn cals!

5. eat fruit at school (if you’re hungry, always have a little emergency meal just in case you might need one). apples, berries and so on! you could also take vegetables like carrots, cucumbers etc. -they’re easy to carry and almost calorie-free.

6. i personally love chupa-chups, they’re pretty low in cals, good replacement for something sweeter and more caloric.

7. try to avoid bread and carbs in general, don’t panic if you do eat them, though, maybe your body needs it to get that A.

8. take PE seriously! go play a sport, burn some cals, take your mind off things for a bit!

9. try to take walks!! the same benefits as working out, of course, maybe take a friend/family member with you, so you could vent/ talk, it’s very therapeutic, i do this all the time with my mom.

10. you can always do a little workout before showering in the evening! even if it’s not the sweaty kind, you can burn some extra calories and it could still make a difference.

I hope these are helpful! Remember to take it easy and don’t hurt yourself! Oh, and also- drink water!! You need it!! Believe me!! :,)

[xokohaneazusawa]

hello pookie i’m the anon who got injured while playing football during PE!! (update on the injury: it doenst hurt as much anymore, but it’s fucking black?? around the corners?? AM I DYING 💀)

ok but anygays i saw someone else comment on the post who also wanted another part so i can now overcome the guilt of potentially asking for too much and ask for that infirmary part 2 anyways 😍😍 (nvm it’s not working. i still feel bad.)

and ofc i was thinking of the bllk boys during PE we were literally playing football and i was thinking about how funny it would be if i pulled a chigiri and broke my leg right then and there because of how bad i was at it (i’m so sorry.)

fr tho i cannot play for shit 😭 these mfs make it look so damn easy but football is too damn difficult 💀(i don’t exercise. if i have the option to stay at home every day of my life with everything in it and unlimited supply of food and other essentials, i would. i also failed my school’s fitness test and struggle to open bottle caps sometimes.) i’m just a girl 🎀

i don’t mean to be greedy or demanding but an infirmary scene would really heal my soul (and hopefully my nose. i still dk why it’s turning a bit black. 💀 maybe it’s bruising idk 💀)

p.s. i think my nose is fine but idk. it doesn’t feel pain or anything, and the wound is quite inconspicuous. like i have to squint to see it and the weird black parts (haha 400 eye degree 😍)

You never have to feel bad about asking for anything from me, I'm happy to really do whatever lol! I'm actually so excited to write this, I mean it's such a cute idea!!

Chigiri Hyoma

-> Bro fought with the nurses to stay with you, so that man is not leaving your side the whole time you are there. I mean he's sitting next to your bed, or next to you if you're in a chair, and not leaving for anything.. well unless you asked for something, but that's not the point here

✮ - He sighed and watched as they started to take some tissues making sure that the bleeding was stopping, and applying an ice pack on your nose. He laughed slightly when he saw you flinch due to the cold, but made sure to squeeze your hand slightly to show that it would be fine. Once the ice was applied they made you sit and wait for a little, just to help with the healing, and came by every couple minutes at first to make sure that everything was okay and that you weren't getting freezer burn by any chance. The nurses were all really sweet, and Chigiri was making sure you were following what they said, no matter how cold that ice pack was, your ass, was not taking it off around him. Man already has a good track record of listening to what the doctors say, he trusts them, so in due turn you're following everything that they say as well. He sighs when you finally can take off the ice pack and he can already see the bruise forming under the red from the cold.

"Next time make sure you're not in dream land, because I'm gonna be way worse then these people when taking care of your stupid ass."

Rin Itoshi -> He might have left because the nurses told him to go back, but he also might have accidently put somebody else in the infirmary because he wasn't paying attention and went a little too hard on one of the newbies, so he ended up being back after only a couple minutes. Though the second he got back he was sitting next to you and making sure that you were okay, more with his actions then his words

✮ - This man hurried back over to the infirmary, he was almost asked by a couple teachers to slow down on the way there but when they saw he also looked pissed off (It's really just his rbf) they decided to just leave him alone. Assumed he was gonna like murder then if they had said something. The second he got back he rushed over to where you were, immediately asking if you were okay. Though it might not have sounded like he cared, the way that he almost plowed through like 3 teachers on the way here made up for it. The nurses were hella confused but once they saw him sitting right next to you and slightly holding onto your hand making sure they you didn't remove the ice pack, no matter how cold it was, they kinda just aww-ed and continued their work, checking up on you making sure that you didn't accidently get freezer burn and checking for bruising and things like that. He stayed holding your hand the whole time, letting you squeeze his hand whenever they tried to mess with your nose, pushing it around. He sighed when they finally walked away, looking up at you.

"I hope you know that I almost sent another lukewarm player from your team to the infirmary.. never do that shit again."

Nagi Seishiro

-> He will stay with you the whole time, mostly because he was too lazy to go back to class, and the fact that he was really only trying to impress you and since you're not there anymore it didn't matter to him. Though he will make sure to ask every couple minutes if you're okay, even if he looks like he's falling asleep against your shoulder

✮ - Was actually half falling asleep against your shoulder before you had to move him slightly when the nurse gave you an ice pack, which woke him up and that’s when he realized what was actually happening, to which he did end up staying awake to make sure that you were okay. Checking on you every couple minutes with a quick “You good?” or “You’re not dying. Right?”. He’s trying his best, but normally Reo takes care of him, he’s never been on the other side of this. The nurses will always slightly laugh at him, because he looks kinda worried but actually has no idea on what to do to help you. Is the only one who will actually take the ice pack off of you, not because he was trying to prevent healing, but you said your nose was cold and bro just fixed the problem, well that was until you laughed at him and he was hella confused. (please explain to this man about the great thing to athletes and injuries that is an Ice pack). Though he was super sweet other than that and did try to learn a bit and pay attention when the nurse finally let you leave with just some instructions on how to take care of it.

“Next time, just pay attention.. So we don’t have to go through all of this again. How I wished first aid kids that just auto healed worked in real life..”

Bachira Meguru

-> Stayed with you, but he laughed. The whole time. Man has almost been in tears twice sitting next to you, thinking about the way the ball came right in the center of your face and now it's all bruised. The nurses at this point also wanna give him a bruised nose so he can finally shut up

✮ - He was trying to contain his laugh the whole time he walked you there, plus in the office when the nurses were trying to help you, by getting tissues, an ice pack, and possibly some sort of pain medication. You probably have already given this man so many dirty looks and glares, but he just doesn’t seem to care whatsoever. Now, not to get this confused. He is concerned for your safety, but the fact that you got smack dabbed hit in the center of your face with a football is just so freaking funny to him and he’s just watching it over and over in his head. Had it been a whole different injury, one that didn’t look so funny, he would probably be more serious about it, but come on, it was pretty funny. Though, he’s probably also gotten hit a couple times with a ball so he does at least know the basics of making sure that you’re okay. So another one that makes sure that you keep that ice pack on the whole goddamn time, unless obviously, freezer burn. (I’ve had it, it sucks.) Though again, everytime he sees your nose, all red and starting to get bruised he will indeed laugh. But at the end of the day he’ll also be pretty helpful in making sure that it gets better, since his past experiences, if you can deal with the constant teasing.

“Oh come onnnn, It’s pretty funny! I mean how far out were you to get hit in the middle of the god damn face- Oh wait, here I have some bandaids so you can compress it”

Isagi Yoichi

-> Always making sure that you're okay. You move? He's asking. You made a funny face of pain? He's asking. You even looked at him? he's asking. He's really just worried and wants to make sure that you're okay and that it won't be all that bad or anything

✮ - This man has not left your side the whole time you’ve been sitting there. He’s constantly asking and making sure you’re okay and don’t need anything. Not to mention, he’s also been holding your hand the whole time, just in case. The only time he ever lets go is when the nurses come to make sure you’re okay. He’s just being cautious, hey, maybe you’ll need two hands to hold something or whatever. The only time he will keep his hold on you is when they come to move it around to make sure it’s not like broken or anything, then he’ll keep it there so you can squeeze it to deal with the pain, hey, hurt noses are nothing to sneeze at (please somebody laugh at that). Whenever your hand gets tired (or just cold) of holding your ice pack, he’ll take over. He’s just so freaking helpful and all the nurses love him for that. Though being an athlete himself does help a lot, he’s pretty good at knowing how all this stuff works. Checking to make sure that you’re following what the nurses said and making sure that it’s not getting too bad. Though once he sees that it’s all red and stuff he will chuckle a little, as worried as he is.

“Maybe next time you keep your attention on the field and not in whatever world you were in, okay?”

Reo Mikage

-> He was still laughing a little bit, and chuckled when he was reminded of the event, but for the most part was pretty worried about you and made sure that you didn't touch it too much so you didn't accidently hurt it anymore. Like Isagi, he also made sure to ask if you were okay every couple minutes, he just really wants to make sure that it won't cause anything long term.

✮ - He was sitting in the nurse's office with you, making sure that you were okay, asking if you needed anything. Water? To take off the ice pack for a second? Another tissue? He’s got it all covered. I mean he’s been taking care of Nagi for how long, this isn’t all that different. Well besides the fact he also gets a laugh or two out of it. (he won’t actually let out a laugh until you’re leaving the nurse’s office, and when he’s sure that it’s starting to get better). He just thinks it’s a little funny, watching the scene replay in his head of you getting hit in the face with the football. He knows that he shouldn’t laugh at your demise, but you can’t blame him. Though he’ll make sure that you always have everything you need for the next couple weeks, or at least until it’s healed. After the initial injury he might be a little more easy to make laugh, and by that I mean every time he sees your slightly bruised nose he’s letting out a chuckle. Was he worried at first? Yeah. But now he just sees it as a memory of you spacing out at the worst time.

“I know that I look good on the field, but next time pay attention to the flying ball and not at your amazing boyfriend~”

Sae Itoshi

-> Staying with you. No matter what. The nurses most likely hate him at this point, he's silent and he really isn't doing anything besides being next to you. Though, what they don't know is that fact every time he sees you twist with discomfort or make a face he's reaching over to ask if you're okay or you need anything

✮ - The nurses have come over a couple times at this point, once to give you an ice pack, once just to double check that you were okay, and once to give you some pain medication and water. Though on the right side of you, Sae has just been looking over at some of the other patients, and nurses walking around the office. After everytime one of the nurses walks up to you or does anything he will turn his attention back over to you and ask you a quick “you okay.” slightly looking at either your face or body language. If he ever can see that you’re lying to him, good luck to you. He’s an athlete, man has most likely gotten hurt in his career, and he knows lying and saying you’re fine isn’t doing anything, it’s actually most likely making it worse. So in turn he will glare at you until you finally say that you’re not okay. He just wants you to be honest, especially if it hurts and it’s something that can be fixed. Though also with his background he knows how to take care of things like that, and might possibly be the best one to have in this scenario, well if you can deal with him constantly not (facial) showing that he cares.

“You’re stupid, I hope you know that. And now you’re being even more stupid, don’t touch it.”

[ryker-writes]

TWST characters as ✨bestfriends✨ (Savanaclaw Edition)

What would it be like being friends with them? Come and find out! I offer my thoughts on what they would be like so I'm sorry if some of the characters are a little Ooc. Some characters I don't know as well but I'll certainly try! More dorms coming soon!

Leona:

scary lion privileges

no one is going to mess with you if Leona is around you

if someone is bothering you tell him and he'll encourage you to handle it yourself

but if you don't or can't he will step in and take care of it for you

those people will never bother you again I guarantee it

no one is stupid enough to face Leona twice

you can also talk to him about anything

he will listen but it's hard to tell because he looks like he's asleep

if you ask if he's paying attention he will deny

really the whole friendship is him acting like he doesn't care but he does

if you need his help with something he will grumble about it but most likely will do it anyway

congrats! you are now the one people go to when they need to find him

contrary to popular belief, I don't think he would use you as a pillow

I just don't see him doing that with someone unless he was in a relationship with them but that's a story for another day

aggressive when it comes to you taking care of yourself

he finds out you're not eating? he will have Ruggie get some food and you are not leaving until you eat. doesn't matter if you have something going on or you're late to class or anything

you have become Cheka's babysitter whenever he comes over

Leona trusts you and then he doesn't have to deal with the small lion cub

Ruggie:

food buddies

he will ask for your food and since you're his best friend he may give you some of his food if he can

most likely Leona ends up paying for both of your lunches

he's not as intimidating as Leona, but he could help you out if someone was bothering you

he wouldn't really be aggressive with it tho

Most likely would be able to stop them from bothering you with words alone

if you're upset you can talk to him he's very understanding

and he's great at cheering you up!

he can offer advice and then he will do things to try and cheer you up

he'll buy you food or a small gift to make you happy (with Leona's money of course)

you might have to help him clean up some of Leona's messes sorry not sorry

he would be pretty happy if you joined him in some of his part-time jobs

making money and hanging out with his friend is perfect multitasking

he totally helps you get deals at the school store

Jack:

athletic buddies

he will totally try to get you to do athletic activities with him like his sports or morning runs

if you're not athletic he won't push you as hard but still encourage you to do it and exercise some

he'll try to join you on your activities too and help you out with them

he's got a bit of an intimidation factor so I don't think people would mess with you that much

but if they do he would try to avoid violence

probably encourages you to just ignore them and he'll try to separate you from them

he's also a very good listener though he is better at comforting and distracting then coming up with solutions

but that doesn't mean he doesn't try to come up with solutions

he will absolutely try to help you if he knows how

if he really can't think of anything he would probably ask Leona for advice

you're not taking care of yourself? how dare you.

he will sit with you to make sure you eat and hands you water

he won't be aggressive about it but he won't just sit by and let it happen

you need his help with anything? he's there

he's a super supportive boy who's got your back

[irkimatsu]

I love your Husk works! Could you please write one where fem!reader gets along with everyone and Husk doesn't even realize that he's catching feelings, but maybe on a night out with everyone, someone comes up and starts heavily flirting with her. Ends with confessions and sugary sweet tooth rotting fluff please. 😍

God damn, anon, do you have any idea how hard it is to wring a confession out of this man? I was going along at a steady pace and then I got stuck for hours! I genuinely hope you like slowburn, because Husk doesn't go from zero-to-love easily. I think he's gotten a nice start here, though. It's definitely fluffy!

Husk/Fem!Reader starting a relationship. Mentions of drinking and attempted sexual assault that Husk interrupts before things get too heavy. SFW, 2.8k words. Enjoy! I hope this is what you had in mind, anon! Thank you so much for reading my works!

Your first few months staying at the Hazbin Hotel have gone quite smoothly; as smoothly as anything there can ever go, anyway. Charlie took an instant liking to you - she takes an instant liking to everyone, so it’s nothing special, but still. She can be a bit overbearing, but you know she means well, and she’s grateful to have someone who doesn’t immediately write off her trust exercises from the start.

Still, after all the sharing circles and art therapy, you occasionally find yourself craving more “adult” fun, and that’s where Angel and Cherri come in. It’s not that you don’t want to be redeemed, but what could be so sinful about enjoying yourself a little? You’re not doing anything dangerous or drastic, no drugs and no getting involved with the wrong people; you’re just having fun drinking, dancing, maybe smashing up some abandoned property if the opportunity strikes. Charlie can’t get mad at destruction if no one cares about the thing you just blew up, right?

The bartender, Husk, isn’t nearly as keen on those nights on the town, but you’ve still managed to bond with him on nights where you prefer to stay in. He’s a surprisingly good listener underneath his gruff exterior. (Perhaps too good of a listener; you hope he keeps ignoring whatever bullshit you might have spouted off after one too many of his cocktails.) He also has plenty of stories of his own, mostly from the time he spent alive. When you could get him talking, he’d weave incredible tales of nightlife, both from his home city in Las Vegas and all the other places he’d visited in his life. He seemed especially wistful when talking about a woman he knew back then. He could talk for hours about all the famous sites he was able to take her to, all the songs he would sing for her, and all the starry skies he’d dance with her under.

“It’s not like I blame her for leaving. I’m the one who screwed it up. But being in love… it was nice while it lasted.”

You try to encourage him with the hope that he could fall in love again, but he shakes his head with a bitter smile.

“I lost the ability to love years ago.”

—-

Your friendship with Angel and Cherri is so different compared to your friendship with Husk, so it took a few months before you could have a night out with all three of them. Charlie is once again less enthused about the idea of you four going out to party, but you promise to be relatively well behaved.

You promise, anyway. You can’t make promises for Angel’s sake, and as much as you love her, you know better than to have any faith in Cherri.

You’re surprised Husk agreed to come to a sex club at all. He never seemed like the type to be into that sort of thing. You’re less surprised to see that he has no intention of flirting with anyone and is instead perfectly happy to sit by the wall and knock back shots as quickly as the bartender can pour them.

Couldn’t he drink himself stupid back at the hotel, though? Why did he even come?

Is it just you, or has he been watching you the whole night?

The hours tick by, and you, Angel, and Cherri become progressively more wasted. Angel is currently hanging off of a muscular bull demon - damn, good for him - while Cherri tells you about another resident who used to stay at the hotel before he tragically lost his life during the last extermination.

“He was such a fucking idiot that it was charming, ya know? God damn I should have gotten to know him better when he was still around! I heard this rumor about him and never even got to find out if it was true!”

As she speaks, Cherri catches sight of a cobra demon who is currently chatting up a cluster of punk girls.

“Well, damn… maybe I’ll get to find out tonight. Don’t wait around for me, I’ll find my way back!”

With that announcement, Cherri is gone, leaving only you and Husk with about a dozen bar stools between you. He’s definitely keeping an eye on you; there’s still liquid in his glass, and  he’s watching you instead of guzzling it.

What’s his deal? If he wants to spend the night with you, why doesn’t he just come over here? You decide not to go over there yourself; no sense in rewarding him if he’s playing mind games.

You instead turn your attention to a handsome wolf demon who has taken Cherri’s seat. “Drinking all alone, love?” he says, his deep voice smooth as butter. Right away this man gives you the air of a natural-born charmer who can win anyone’s trust within seconds, only to break their hearts within hours.

He’s hot, and you’re drunk. You’ll let him break your heart a little.

Your conversation starts normally enough, with low stakes topics like the music and the drink selection in the bar. You’re in no hurry to tell this man anything personal or leave this spot with him, but you’re enjoying looking at him and hearing him enough that you don’t mind being a bit of entertainment.

He bumps your knee with his at one point, but you pull your own knee away. At first he seems to take the hint, and time passes without any more advances.

Soon, however, he grows more bold.

“Why don’t we go somewhere else, baby?” he asks as he lightly squeezes your thigh. “Somewhere more private?”

“No thanks,” you say as you jerk your leg away, though the motion doesn’t make him let go. “I’m fine talking here.”

“You know this is a sex club, don’t you?” he says. His smile and voice haven’t changed, but somehow he seems much slimier than he did five minutes ago, and the strong paw gripping your leg that seemed so enticing in your head feels suffocating in reality.

“I’m not here for that, I’m just hanging out with friends-” You try to leave the stool, but the man throws his arm around your shoulders and pulls you in.

“Come on, babe! What did you think I was after by chatting you up like this? You’re not gonna leave me hanging, are you?” He’s holding you closely enough that his hot breath is hitting your face, and the stench of his cologne is making you gag. “C’mon, baby, I’ll show you a good time. You won’t regret this-”

“She said no.” Husk had somehow snuck his way to your side without you noticing, and was now glaring daggers at your pursuer. “Back off.”

“Who are you, her grandpa?” the wolf laughs, refusing to unhand you. “Or just a nasty old man who likes ‘em young?”

Your captor’s laughter is quickly interrupted by a high-pitched howl. His face is now adorned with four jagged, bleeding lines.

“What the fuck, old man?” he yells as he unhands you. Just as quickly as you’re unhanded, you’re grabbed again, this time by Husk grabbing your waist and pulling you away.

“I knew I fucking hated this place,” he growls. “Where are Cherri and Angel?”

You have no idea, but your first guess has you looking toward the sex rooms in the back of the club.

“Jesus Christ… they’ll find their own way home. Come on, we’re going back to the hotel.”

You don’t appreciate being dragged out of the club like a misbehaving child, but as the alcohol clouds your thinking, you can’t quite formulate a protest.

Considering how pissed off your admirer must be right now, maybe it’s for the best that you don’t stay.

—

The walk back to the hotel is blurry; if Husk had anything to say to you besides pissed off obscenities muttered beneath his breath, you don’t remember it. Your next memory finds you laying on the couch in the lobby, your head aching from a combination of a hangover and the time spent laying on the couch’s arm with your neck at a weird angle.

“What time is it…?” you murmur as your eyes try to adjust.

“About noon,” answers Husk from the bar. 

As you continue to look around the lobby, he appears to be the only one here. “Where is everyone?” you ask through a yawn.

“Angel and Cherri still aren’t back, but I’m sure they’re fine. Charlie and Vaggie left to give you some quiet. Alastor and Niffty…” Husk shrugs after their names, then falls silent.

You groan as you push yourself into a sitting position, one that has you facing Husk. He doesn’t appear to have anything to do, and is instead standing with his chin resting on his crossed arms atop the bar. An awkward silence falls between the two of you, giving you plenty of time to observe Husk’s body language, particularly the way his tail is lashing behind him while his ear gives the occasional twitch.

He is not in a good mood.

“Are you okay?” you ask. Your well-meaning question only seems to piss him off further; he answers not with a word, but with a growl. “Is this about last night?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he insists.

“I’m sorry I caused you trouble…”

“Wasn’t your fault.” His tail lashes even harder. “Just don’t worry about it, all right?”

You’re going to keep worrying about it until he stops looking so on edge.

“Thanks for getting me away from that guy last night,” you say, just in case you didn’t thank him in your drunken haze.

“Hey, it’s what a good bartender does. When you see someone starting shit with another patron, even if it’s not your bar, you take care of the problem. That fucker had no right to put his hands on you after you told him to cut it out.”

He may be gruff, but at least he has standards.

“Can’t believe Cherri and Angel left you alone in there… those two better not take you to anymore fucking sex clubs, you don’t need to be around shit like that…”

“I’m a grown adult,” you protest. “I didn’t want to sleep with that guy, but if I did want to get with someone at that club, that’s my business.”

Husk’s eyes widen for a moment, before he returns to his original dour expression. “Yeah… guess you’re right.”

“And what about you? You didn’t look interested in picking up anyone last night. Why’d you even come?”

“How do you know I wasn’t interested?” he shoots back. “Maybe I was interested in someone! Maybe I just… didn’t have the balls to go for it.” He stands up straight and shakes his head. “Look, can we drop this? Hang out in sex clubs if you want, I don’t fuckin’ care.”

He’s speaking with the tone of voice of someone who very much cares.

“I’m done with ‘em, though. You’re right, you’re an adult, you don’t need me hanging around like some fuckin’ guardian angel.” He pours a glass of clear liquid, and you expect him to down it himself, but he instead steps out from behind the bar still holding the full glass. “I overreacted last night. Shouldn’t have made it your fuckin’ problem.” He approaches the couch, takes a seat, and offers you the glass. “Here, one last favor. Drink this and I’ll get off your ass.”

You take the cup, wondering if for some ungodly reason he’s trying to get you to down straight vodka.

“Why are you looking at me like that? It’s water. That headache’s only gonna get worse if you’re dehydrated.”

You take a sip of the water, and after only a few swallows you’re already regaining a bit of your desire to live. “Thanks,” you say before taking another large gulp.

“No problem,” he responds. You expect him to return to the bar, but he remains next to you on the couch. His body language has gotten no less agitated. What is going on with him?

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you doting on Angel or Cherri like this,” you observe before finishing the glass.

“They’re used to it, and they’ve got each other,” he says as he takes the glass from you. “You want some more?”

You shake your head, and he remains seated with the glass.

“You, though… I don’t know, something about that guy just pissed me off,” he says. “Even before he started touching you I didn’t like him. Bartender’s intuition, maybe? I’m still not over the awful feeling he gave me.” He sighs heavily. “I just… hate the idea of seeing you get hurt in a place like that. I know Angel and Cherri can take care of themselves, but you’ve never seemed as wild as they do, so I wasn’t sure…”

“Is that why you were watching me the whole night?” you asked.

Husk’s body jolts. “Shit, you noticed?”

“I kept looking over there wondering if you’d ever move from that spot, and if you weren’t actively drinking you were staring at me,” you said. “You weren’t subtle.”

Husk groans as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I know you’re capable. I was just…”

“You weren’t there because you were interested in someone at all, were you?”

“I never said I wasn’t. I mean it when I said I just didn’t have the balls to say anything to ‘em. Instead, I just wondered… what I’d do if someone else asked ‘em. Knowing it’d be my own damn fault for not speaking up sooner. Trying to tell myself it wasn’t that big a deal if they went with someone else… until someone started flirting with ‘em, and touchin’ ‘em, and-” His body tenses as he growls, but relaxes after a moment. “Damn it, I haven’t had to do this in years...”

“Done what?”

“You know what I said about losing my ability to love years ago?” He turns his head and looks directly at you for the first time since he sat down. “...I think I’m remembering how to do it again.”

Things are starting to fall into place. “And the person who helped you remember is…?”

The slightest of smiles crosses his face. “Who do you think?”

You wouldn’t have guessed it before today, but it all seems so obvious in retrospect. He’d spent so many nights with you when he could have been in bed, just chatting with you or comforting you after a bad day. You’d really grown so fond of his smile, and Angel had told you before that he used to never smile.

But surely, you thought, he couldn’t have been smiling because of you…

“What am I even saying?” he asks as he turns away from you. “You died in the prime of your life, and down here you can have that prime forever. You could do so much better than a washed up old drunk.”

“You’re not washed up,” you assure him as you place your hand over his. “I think it’s great that you got to live such a full life! You have so many stories to tell, and so many talents… I bet there’s so much you haven’t told me yet.” You try to reassure him with a smile and a light squeeze to his hand. “So much you haven’t shown me, either. You talk a lot about when you were in a band, but I’ve never gotten to hear you play…”

“I haven’t touched an instrument in years,” he says. “I bet I don’t even remember how to play anymore.”

“Well, you don’t know if you don’t try, right?”

You don’t think you’re just saying that about instruments.

“It’s been such a long time… what if I screw up?”

You don’t think he’s just talking about instruments either.

“It can’t hurt to try. Maybe… maybe you’ll enjoy it even more than you remember.”

“Hmm…” He doesn’t seem fully at ease, but he hasn’t taken his hand back yet. “If I can get my hands on a saxophone, and I really haven’t forgotten how… sure. I’ll play for you.

…you just have to give me some time, okay? I’m not used to it anymore… especially with another person…”

“Take all the time you need,” you assure him.

He turns his hand around so he can hold yours back, and his smile seems to grow slightly. “Just gotta start slow… get used to things again…”

“You’ll be fine, I know you will,” you assure him. He seems content to leave the conversation there, but there’s one more thing you need to say. “Husk?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I’ll be going back to that club. No point when I’m not interested in picking up dates anymore.”

He squeezes your hand. “Glad to hear it.”

[starsandgutters]

30!

Hello! Apologies for the delay, I have been unexpectedly busy this week.

30. - Only One Bed

“If this is supposed to be my trip, how come I don’t get my pick of the rooms?”

“We gave you the nicest room, Kevin. Stop being a bitch,” Allison says.

“I’ll take one of the other rooms then. Why wouldn’t one of the couples take this room?”

“We already have our rooms,” Dan says, leaning against Matt’s side. “And since we didn’t know Erik was coming when we booked it, Aaron’s the spare.”

“Can we stop arguing and go to said rooms? I’d love to set all these bags down,” Matt says.

“I can carry my own.”

“Oh no, baby. I got it. I’d just also like to set ‘em down.”

“Shall we at least go look at the room?” Aaron’s gone flush from having so much attention on him. “Maybe there’s a couch or something I can sleep on.”

Kevin turns his frown on Aaron. He doesn’t really want to shun Aaron away to sleep on the couch. That’s the problem, after all. It’s not that he doesn’t want to share a bed with Aaron Minyard; it’s that he’s actually rather partial to the idea. Which means this can only end disastrously, because Aaron definitely does not want to share a bed with him. 

“Sure.” Kevin sighs. His tantrum hasn’t been getting him anywhere anyway, he might as well. Andrew has fixed him with a look of murderous rage, but honestly, Andrew looks like that a fair deal of the time so Kevin really pays him little mind.

“Alright Foxes.” Dan claps her hands. “Shall we say half an hour to check the rooms and get settled, and then we regroup back here for a quick lunch before hitting the slopes?”

“Is it wise to eat before that kind of exertion?” Kevin asks. 

“Need energy for exercise,” Neil says.

“And besides, you won’t be exerting yourself that much on the baby slopes,” Allison says with a laugh. “You’ll be taking it easy until you graduate from pizza and fries.”

“What does that mean?” Kevin gets no answer as the Foxes break off, all talking excitedly about skiing. He looks at Aaron, who is lingering like a silent storm cloud at his side. “Do you know what that means?”

“It’s the shape of the skis.” Aaron holds his two pointer fingers up. “Fries is when they’re parallel. Pizza is a triangle.” 

He tilts his fingers in so the tips touch together, forming a triangle. It makes sense now that someone has taken the time to explain. Kevin supposes it’s probably obvious, but he hadn’t considered the shape of a pizza slice. He tends to think circle when it comes to pizza. Aaron doesn’t look irritated by his ignorance. Well, no more than the base level of annoyed Aaron always looks. Kevin appreciates this. Appreciates that he is patient enough to explain when Kevin doesn’t get things, even if they feel like they should be obvious.

“Have you been skiing before?”

“Oh yeah, my mom used to take me all the time.”

“Really?” Kevin’s brow furrows. That doesn’t sound like the idea of the twins’ mother that he has.

“Yeah. Every summer, when we holidayed at our villa in the alps.”

“Oh.” Kevin realises Aaron is being sarcastic. “Ha ha.”

Aaron heaves a sigh and hoists his bag up, trailing towards the elevators. The rest of the Foxes have already piled on, but Matt holds the door for them. They stop at a few different floors, filtering off to their rooms, until it is just Aaron and Kevin left. Once they get off on their floor, they have to follow the corridor right down to the end. Aaron slides his keycard through the door and shoulders it open, pausing in the doorway.

“Holy shit.” He drops his bag by the door and jogs across the room. Kevin steps in after him, to find Aaron looking out the massive window dominating one wall, overlooking a view of the slopes. It’s a stunning view, a door in the centre of it opening onto a balcony. Kevin leaves his own bag and crosses the room. He stands beside Aaron. The sunlight reflecting off the snow makes everything brilliantly bright. Kevin has seen a lot of outdoor spaces by now, but this, this is so starkly different from the Nest. There’s a sense of irony in them using a place like this as the excuse for his hand.

Aaron tires of the view first, turning away from the window. He pads across the room and then Kevin hears the noise of his body thumping down on the bed.

“I think we’re safe,” Aaron says. “You could fit us in this three times over.”

It says a lot for how taken they were with the view that they missed the bed at first glance, because it really is quite sizable. 

“Do you have a side preference?” Aaron sits up, moving to the edge of the bed. Kevin shakes his head. Aaron indicates the right side, the side furthest from the window. “Can I have this one?”

“Sure.”

“Or I could probably sleep over there.” There’s not a couch in the room, but there’s a sunken seating area around a faux fireplace heater that is layered with cushions. “We could just ask for another blanket.”

“It’s fine. Like you said, the bed is massive. No big deal, right?”

“Sure.” 

If Kevin’s entirely honest, he’s actually glad things have worked out the way that they have. He did a fair display of bitching for show, but he didn’t love the idea of being alone in a room by himself. He probably would have spent very little time in the room; going to bother Andrew or Neil, or Aaron and Nicky if Andrew and Neil were busy. Which would have been a waste when Allison has clearly splashed out to get him such a nice room. He should probably get her something in return. Neither of them are very good at expressing care with words, but they both know money talks.

Aaron has collected his bag from by the door and is unpacking it. He hangs some of his clothes up, folds others in the drawer. Kevin doesn’t really think about unpacking on vacation. It’s like travelling for away games. It’s just easier to live out of his suitcase. Though he’s not usually in hotels for as long as they’re going to be here. A whole week.

“Do you wanna hang your stuff up too? There’s plenty of hangers left.”

“Sure,” Kevin says with a sigh. “Might as well.”

*

Kevin’s surprisingly achy when he gets back from their first ski lesson. He knows he’s more than fairly fit, but he’s spent the day using his muscles in a way he’s not used to. On top of that, despite the sun blazing down on them, it’s still cold. His hand is aching a bit from it, but not enough to impact its use. Meanwhile Aaron seems chilled to the bone. They all wore ugly puffy snowsuits, but Aaron layered clothes beneath his, wore a beanie under his hood. When they stopped in the lounge for hot chocolates afterwards, Aaron sat so close to the big fireplace Kevin was concerned his snowsuit might catch fire. He clutched his mug to his chest, leaning his face over the steam, trembling. 

Even now, he’s still shaking every so often. Kevin lets him have first shower. Aaron spends a long time in the bathroom, and when he comes out he’s flushed red. Kevin finds the room full of steam from the sheer heat Aaron must have been showering at. When he finishes his own shower, Aaron is wearing a sweater over his pyjamas and sitting close to the faux fireplace. Kevin doesn’t understand. To him the heat in the room feels comfortable. He pulls on a pair of shorts and a shirt more from consideration than any real need for them. 

It’s not long before they start to crash out from their long day. They spend the better part of an hour doing their own things: Aaron playing his games sitting as close to the fireplace as he can, Kevin reading a book in bed until his eyes get bleary. When he switches off his lamp, Aaron also moves to get into bed, removing his sweater. The bed is so big that though Kevin feels the vibration of the blanket moving on Aaron’s side, the lift of it doesn’t even disturb his side. Aaron slips in and curls into a ball. He tugs his side of the blanket right up to his chin, tucking it in around his face. After a moment, Kevin hears the swishing noise of his feet moving beneath the blanket, rubbing against each other. He closes his eyes, tiredness weighing down on him. He’s close to the precipice when he feels Aaron shiver, a slight tremble running through the mattress from the movement.

“How are you cold?” Kevin mumbles. He’s got the blanket at his waist, the heat of the room enough for him.

“I just am.”

“It’s basically stuffy in here.”

“We’re not all human furnaces.”

“Mmph.” Kevin rolls over to face Aaron. He can’t see him in the dark, but he knows the vague space he takes up. “Come here.”

“What?”

“Isn’t body heat like the quickest way to warm up?”

“Fuck off. I’m not going to cuddle with you. I’m fine.”

“Whatever.” Kevin tucks one of his arms under his pillow, burrowing his face into it. The pillows are fat, plush, incredibly soft. The bed is perhaps the most comfortable one he’s ever laid in. He closes his eyes. He has almost fallen asleep again when he swears he can hear Aaron’s teeth chatter this time. “Aaron.”

“What?” Aaron’s voice is sharp, vicious. Defensive. 

“Just fucking come here if you’re cold. We don’t even have to touch, but surely being closer will let the heat build up faster.”

“I said I’m fine.”

“Well I can’t sleep with all the shivering.”

“Bullshit. You could sleep through a volcanic eruption.”

Kevin thinks that is probably hyperbole, but he has been known to sleep through quite a lot. If he fell asleep, he probably would sleep through all of Aaron’s shivering and teeth chattering, but it’s hard to fully relax when he can tell Aaron is so cold beside him. 

“A volcanic eruption would be less annoying.”

He feels the blanket shift and hears the sound of movement beneath it. Aaron huffs. 

“Did you just try to kick me but your little legs can’t make it across the bed?”

“Fuck you.”

Kevin laughs. Aaron gets out of the bed, throwing the blanket back dramatically. Kevin hears his footsteps move through the room, the soft curse as he stubs his toe on something. 

“What are you doing?”

“Going to sleep in the stupid cushion pit thing so you can’t blame me for keeping you awake.”

“You’ll be more cold. You don’t even have a blanket. Come back.” Kevin waits. Aaron doesn’t answer him. “Aaron, get back in the bed.”

He hears a soft huff from across the room. Kevin takes a long inhale, raising his eyes to the ceiling. Aaron is so fucking stubborn. Kevin wonders what would get him to come to bed. He considers just going to sleep and letting him sulk in the cold, but apparently skiing has unveiled a sympathetic conscience in him. Or maybe that’s reserved solely for Aaron. 

“Do you want me to go ask at the desk if they have a hot water bottle or something?”

“No.”

“It’s a fancy hotel. They might have electric blankets.”

“No. We don’t need to make a fuss.”

“Then stop making a fuss and come back to bed.”

There’s a drawn out sigh across the room, then the slow patter of feet back towards the bed. Aaron’s pretence of stoicism shatters when he dives for the bed, burrowing under the blankets again. Kevin lies back down, shifting further across the bed.

“Stay on your own side,” Aaron says sternly. Kevin exhales loudly, but obediently flops back to his side. He gives up. Let Aaron freeze for all he cares, Kevin is too tired to keep arguing in circles with him. He looks off towards the wall of windows. The curtains are drawn, but there’s a dark blue glow from around them. Kevin’s heavy eyes close on him. He intends to reopen them, but they simply refuse to cooperate.

*

Kevin is not usually the first to wake in the morning. Even when he’s supposed to be up, it often takes him a long time to drag himself from sleep. He thinks it’s the stifling heat that has him groggily tripping into consciousness this morning. His body is sticky with sweat, his shirt clinging to his back. Helplessly, Kevin kicks the blanket down from the left side of his body. There’s a warm presence on his right side, and when he forces his sticky eyes open, he realises it’s Aaron. He’s shifted closer during the night. He is still curled into himself, his forehead near Kevin’s bicep, but he’s sleeping a lot more peacefully than last night. No shivering in sight. In fact, there’s a pleasant looking flush across his cheeks. 

Kevin turns his head. He watches Aaron with sleepy contentment for a few moments. It is strange to see him so relaxed; all the harsh lines of his expression softened out in sleep. His lips are just barely parted, his eyelashes fluttering every so often. He makes a soft sound in his sleep and shifts further forward, his forehead actually pressing to Kevin’s skin. Kevin feels his heart stutter over a beat. Aaron makes another soft sound and Kevin quickly closes his eyes, pretends to be asleep before he is caught staring. 

He doesn’t know if Aaron does wake up, because he very quickly actually does fall asleep again, and next time he stirs, Aaron is already up and dressed for the day.

*

Kevin is starting to think skiing is perhaps not for him. There’s just. So much to consider. In ways he does not usually have to consider moving his body. He is determined to at least be passable at it though, and so he stubbornly sticks at it, even if he has yet to qualify from the bunny slopes. Irritatingly Neil seems to be taking to it with a natural grace Kevin does not possess. Aaron is much more fearless in his efforts, but he’s started to express an interest in snowboarding instead, chatting at length with the instructor.

“Well, I don’t usually mix snowboarding with the ski lessons, but if you wanna hang around for a bit afterwards, I’ll give you a go on my board.”

“Yeah?” Aaron grins. Kevin imagines a very small and purposefully targeted avalanche taking out their ski instructor. This thought brings him some joy and comfort until he ends up having a fall. Neil laughs as he whizzes past. Aaron stops to help haul Kevin up out of the snow.  “Okay?”

“Sure. It’s just snow.”

Aaron gives Kevin a flat look in response to his tone. His face is incredibly pink. Nose and cheeks raw. He looks cherubic. Kevin wants to push him over into the snow. 

“Whatever.” Aaron pushes off and skids down the slope after Neil. Kevin glances back at the ski instructor, sending him a glare for good measure, before he follows the others. Andrew is watching from the lounge window. Neil managed to talk him into trying the slopes yesterday, but he enjoys the cold even less than Aaron. Instead he’s drinking his weight in hot chocolate. Kevin would complain about it if he thought it would do any good, but he knows Andrew simply won’t listen to him.

*

They have dinner together. Aaron asks the server if they can have a table near a fire or a radiator, and then presses his chair right up against said radiator when they do sit. He rubs his hands together beneath the table. Kevin has a wild impulse to reach over and take them in his. He keeps his hands to himself.

“How did your snowboarding go?” Kevin tries to keep his voice even, not looking at Aaron.

“It was great. Cam’s lending me a board to try on the slopes tomorrow. I think it’s easier, not having to focus on two skis and poles.”

“That’s nice of him,” Kevin says, in a tone that suggests Cam has committed war crimes. 

“I mean, I guess he just has access to the lodge equipment. I don’t think it’s his board or anything.”

“Hm.” Kevin pops the menu up in front of his face so Aaron can’t see his unimpressed scowl.

*

They gather in the hot tub that night for drinks. Kevin’s not drinking, but he tags along since he doesn’t want to be in the room by himself, and the hot water is pleasant on his aching muscles. Andrew and Neil set up camp on a couch nearby, under a shared blanket. Andrew is still drinking hot chocolate, though it could be spiked, but since neither Neil or Renee are drinking, Kevin feels less left out. Renee has even ordered them matching mocktails. Kevin had some concerns about the sugar levels in the drink, but since she took the effort to consider him, he keeps his mouth shut for once.

Aaron submerges right down in the water, just leaving his nose up to breathe. He glares at Allison when she makes a joke about his height, but doesn’t argue. Kevin knows it’s probably more to do with the cold that he hasn’t seemed to be able to shake from his bones since they got here. He sits beside Aaron as everyone else is coupled up, tries to ignore the way their arms and thighs are brushing together as Aaron’s endeavour to not touch Matt sitting on his other side drives him into Kevin’s space. Kevin tries not to think about the fact Aaron doesn’t seem to mind touching him. He steals carefully timed glances at the freckles on Aaron’s strong shoulders, doesn’t let himself look for more than a handful of seconds. 

Aaron’s actually one of the first to retreat, once Andrew and Neil wander off together. Kevin can see him building himself up for the transition from warm water to frigid night air. He swings out of the hot tub and immediately wraps himself in a big towel. There’s some protest from Nicky about Aaron being a spoilsport, but Kevin is glad that he can also use that as an excuse to go back to their room. Aaron has another hot blast in the shower before getting dressed for bed. He keeps a hoodie on over his pyjamas and climbs right into bed, cycling his legs beneath the duvet as Kevin goes to the bathroom to carry out his own bedtime routine. 

“Insisting on staying all the way over there again?”

“Yes,” Aaron says, and clicks off the light. Kevin huffs in irritation, turning on his lamp so he can read a chapter before bed. 

Aaron is asleep by the time he sets his book down, curled tight into a ball, the odd shiver still running through him. Kevin puts his hand to his back, featherlight, barely touching him for fear of waking him. He feels the next tremor to course through Aaron’s body. Kevin sighs and moves closer. He pulls the duvet up, tucking it in tight around Aaron, then lies with his back facing him, only a couple of inches between them, in the hopes it will help build some heat up.

*

Kevin may not be a pro skier anytime soon, but he thinks he’s finally getting the hang of staying upright. He’s even been set loose from the bunny slopes. He and Aaron ride the ski elevator up to one of the bigger slopes. Kevin looks to the sky because looking at the distance between his feet and the ground is making him anxious. Aaron is constant movement, looking over the side, around them, leaning forward to look down between their legs. Kevin curls his hands into fists around his poles to resist the urge to grip Aaron’s ski suit in case he falls.

“We have to be ready to go once we get up here,” Aaron says. 

“I know.”

“Go, Kevin.”

“I am,” Kevin snaps, while he is actually definitely not doing that.

“Go.”

“Give me a second.”

“No time. Let’s go.” Aaron pushes him off as Kevin’s air catches in his lungs. He stumbles, but Aaron steadies him as he plops down beside him, wobbling on the snowboard Cam lent him. 

“I was getting there!”

“You can’t hesitate like that,” Aaron says, and starts to slide away from Kevin. He reaches up to fix his ski goggles over his eyes, flips Kevin off, and then starts to speed down the slope. Kevin is much slower, but he follows. 

*

After dinner that night, they gather for drinks again. This time just in the lodge bar, seated close to the fire. There’s too many of them for the size of the couches. Aaron ends up crammed between Kevin and the arm of the couch. At first any contact seems to be solely due to the lack of space, but after Aaron has a few drinks, Kevin feels like he’s leaning into him more. He wonders if he’s just projecting his thoughts onto the situation as he nurses one drink. 

Despite the handful of drinks Aaron has, and the multiple rounds of shots he partakes in with Nicky and Matt, he’s steady on his feet as they make their way back to the room. Though it does take him two attempts to get the keycard to open the door. Kevin had hoped at least the alcohol might warm him, but tonight the shivering is worse than ever once they’re settled in bed. Rather than the occasional burst of it, it's constant, accompanied by Aaron’s shaky breathing. He’s fully burrowed under the blanket tonight too, only a tuft of blonde hair visible before Kevin hits off the lamp.

“Aaron,” he says, after listening to this for what feels like a small eternity.

“What?”

“Your stubbornness is getting ridiculous. Come here.”

“Fine.”

Kevin expects Aaron to simply shuffle across to the centre of the bed, so they can share the same cavern beneath the blanket, rather than being in their own separate caves. He’s therefore surprised when Aaron slides across and collides with his chest. Rather than back up, Aaron burrows closer. He tucks his hands to his chest between them instead of draping them around Kevin, but they’re still definitely verging on an embrace. Kevin is still for a moment, scarcely daring to breathe. Aaron shivers. Kevin automatically wraps his arms around him. He hugs Aaron to his chest, rubbing a hand up and down his back. Aaron is tense in his hold for several long seconds before he relaxes with a sigh. He tucks his socked feet between Kevin’s calves, and slowly the trembling of his body subsides. 

Kevin waits until Aaron is breathing softly. He noses at the front of his hair, pushing it back until he can rest his lips against Aaron’s forehead. It’s not a kiss. He does not purse his lips. His mouth just lingers against Aaron’s forehead. Kevin breathes in the scent of his hair. It’s the musky scent of the lodge’s shampoo, not the sharp smell of mint and tea tree oil Aaron's usual shampoo smells like. Part of Kevin is disappointed. That when he has this chance he’s not getting to breathe the authentic Aaron Minyard smell. Mostly he’s just enjoying the weight of Aaron in his arms before he falls asleep. 

*

“Get off me. Kevin!” 

Kevin wakes to Aaron shoving at his shoulder. They’ve shifted during the night. Aaron has ended up on his back, with Kevin splayed across his chest, face burrowed into the side of Aaron’s neck. He grumbles, scarcely awake. Aaron is warm, and Kevin likes Aaron. He does not like being awake right now. He does not want to be awake. He wants to be sleeping on his Aaron pillow. He tries to nuzzle closer to him.

“Kevin. I told you I wasn’t going to fuckin’ cuddle you.”

“You’re the one that started it,” Kevin mumbles, words slurring into a yawn. Aaron goes very still, probably pouring back over the memory of last night. Good. He remembers then. He can stop blaming Kevin. “Didn’t you sleep better?”

“That’s not the point.”

“How is it not?”

“This is weird. We don’t do this.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“It is! It’s… we don’t do this.”

“How’s it weird?”

“It’s weird because we do not do this, Kevin. Get off me.” Aaron pushes at him until Kevin does shift off him with a grumble. Aaron immediately pushes himself to the far side of the bed. Kevin thinks he’s being needlessly dramatic, but it’s also too early for Kevin to be having many thoughts on anything, so he only rolls over and settles down to go back to sleep.

*

Aaron is already at breakfast when Kevin gets down. He’s sitting at a table with Cam, talking animatedly about something, smiling and laughing. Kevin very much does not like that. It is so rare for Aaron to openly express his emotions like that. Kevin sees it, every so often, but it took a long time before Aaron let his guards down around him like that, and it’s not always a common occurrence. Kevin hates that this random ski instructor gets to see this side of Aaron within only a few days. He hasn’t put in the hours!

Kevin could sit with Andrew and Neil. He sees them come through the door as he’s carrying his plate down. Neil talking away to a sleep ruffled Andrew who looks barely more awake than Kevin feels. Kevin does not sit with them. He pretends not to see them, walking down to Aaron’s table and setting his plate down firm enough that it bangs against the table. Aaron starts, even though he saw Kevin walking over. Right. He doesn’t react well to sudden loud noises. Shit. Kevin forgot about that in his irritation. Aaron glares at him. He was not glaring at Cam. Kevin suddenly feels a lot less apologetic about the plate slam.

“Heya Kevin, how are the bigger slopes treatin’ ya?” Cam looks at Kevin with a toothy grin. Kevin looks back at him with hollow eyes and hopes he chokes on the bacon that is definitely not an ideal breakfast for someone working an active job.

“Fine.”

“When he can get off the ski lift,” Aaron says, huffing in amusement. Kevin sends him a dark side glance. 

“Ah yeah, it can be intimidating getting off the lifts at the start.”

“I’m not intimidated,” Kevin grits out. Cam gives him a consoling smile as he stands, lifting his plate.

“I’ll leave the board out for you again Aaron.”

“Great, thanks.” Aaron grins up at Cam. Big enough to show off his dimple.

Kevin stabs his eggs with more force than necessary.

*

That night Aaron sleeps curled stubbornly on his side of the bed.

“Bet you’d cuddle with Cam,” Kevin mutters bitterly.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

*

Aaron is by the faux fireplace in the morning. He’s wearing a hoodie over his sweater, and is so close to the heater he’s almost touching it. Kevin groggily makes his way over, collapsing into the pile of cushions. His muscles are loud about their discomfort today and there is a twinge of pain in his left hand. He thinks he might skip the slopes.

“How are you so cold all the time?”

“Bad circulation.” Aaron shrugs. “It’s like once the cold gets into me it’s hard to get it out again. It’s okay when I’m moving around, generating heat, but once I stop I feel it.”

“It’s not usually this bad.”

“I’m not usually spending all day out in the snow.”

“Fair.” Kevin catches his left hand in his right, rubbing his thumb over it.

“Does your hand hurt?”

“It’s fine.”

“Is it really fine or is it Neil Josten fine?”

“I’ll manage.”

“Josten fine then. Did you bring your brace?”

“No.”

“Right. Why would you bring your brace?”

“I didn’t know I would need it.”

“Because it’s not like your hand hurts every year when the temperature drops” 

“I’ll survive, but I think I’ll skip the slopes today.”

“There’s a town not far from here. We could go check it out.”

Kevin blinks, surprised. He hadn’t expected Aaron to stick with him if he passed up on skiing. Aaron seems to be enjoying being out in the snow far more than him. 

“Uh. Sure,” Kevin says, and Aaron may be struggling to build heat, but Kevin’s face feels plenty warm.

*

Everyone decides they’ll go into town today when Kevin mentions their plans. He’s a touch annoyed. He kind of wanted it to be just him and Aaron, but they scatter into different groups once they get into the town anyway, breaking off to explore the shops. Kevin spends the morning wandering around the tourist shops full of homemade trinkets or mass produced fridge magnets with Aaron, but he loses track of him after lunch.

“Here,” Aaron says when he reappears, handing Kevin a support bandage. “Put that on.”

“Where did you get this?” 

“I had to look for the local pharmacy. It’s way on the other side of town. I fucking hiked to get you that, so you had better wear it.”

Kevin hates wearing a support. Hates admitting he needs it. Hates the reminder of his injury.

He puts it on with no fuss.

*

As the sun sinks towards the horizon and they get ready to head back to the lodge, Kevin shrugs off his coat and puts it over Aaron.

“You’ll get cold.”

“I’m fine. I’m actually sweating, but you’re shivering already.”

Aaron glances warily at the others, but the allure of Kevin’s lingering body heat in the coat must be too much to resist. He pulls it on over his own coat and zips it right up to his chin. Andrew is staring at them. Kevin pretends not to see.

*

Aaron is sitting in the cushion pit. A lot of the others have gone to the hot tub again, but Aaron passed up, so Kevin did too.

“It’s nice until you have to get out of it,” Aaron had said. Kevin doesn’t really care about that, but he was tired and had already spent all day with the group. He wanted the quiet peace of their room.

He drags the duvet off the bed and brings it over to the cushion pit, spreading it over them. Aaron glances up from playing his Switch. Kevin settles down beside him with his book. Aaron readjusts the blanket, a small smile on his face. Kevin lifts his book higher to hide his own smile.

*

When Kevin wakes up it takes him a moment to realise where he is. He and Aaron must have fallen asleep by the faux fireplace. Aaron is curled against his side. Kevin stretches out his back with a whine. He wants to just wrap himself around Aaron and go back to sleep, but now that he’s woken up, the lamp being on is annoying him, and he’s aware of how stiff his back feels. Forcing himself up, Kevin moves his book and Aaron’s Switch aside. He turns off the faux fireplace. He moves the duvet back to the bed.

Aaron’s brow is furrowed when Kevin comes back to him. Kevin wonders if he’s missing his sources of heat. He crouches down and carefully slides his arms under Aaron’s neck and legs, then hoists him up. He pauses once he’s got Aaron in his arms, scarcely daring to breathe. Aaron sleeps a lot lighter than him. Kevin’s not sure how he’ll respond if he wakes up to this. Thankfully, Aaron just turns his face to Kevin’s shoulder with a soft sound. 

Kevin carries him carefully across to bed and lays him down on his side. He pulls the blanket up over Aaron, goes to brush his teeth, then crawls into the other side of the bed. Aaron makes a whiny sound of protest in his sleep as the bed shifts. He rolls towards Kevin, hand reaching across the distance between them. When it catches the material of Kevin’s shirt, Aaron tugs weakly. Kevin is weaker than Aaron’s sleepy grip, immediately moving across towards him. 

“Mm.” Aaron nuzzles his face against Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin once again holds his breath until he’s sure Aaron is asleep.

*

He wakes in the morning to Aaron rubbing his thumbs over Kevin’s hand. Kevin’s left arm is draped over Aaron’s waist, and Aaron has his hand between his, massaging around the scar. Kevin goes still for a moment as he processes what’s happening, then melts against Aaron’s back, pretending to be asleep. Aaron felt the tension in him though. He goes still in response, dropping Kevin’s hand. Kevin whines, tightening his arm around Aaron’s chest.

“Kevin?” Aaron whispers. He sounds mortified. 

“Mm?” Kevin noses at the back of Aaron’s head, his hair tickling his face. When Aaron tries to wriggle away, Kevin holds him in place.

“Stop.”

“Why?”

“It’s weird.”

“Why?”

“We don’t-”

“What if we did?”

“What?” Aaron stops squirming, going completely still again.

“What if we did? Feels nice. You sleep better when you’re warm. No one can see us.”

“So what, I’m your dirty little secret?”

“What? No. You’re the one being weird about it.”

“Because it is weird.”

“Mmm not.” Kevin presses his face against Aaron’s hair. He didn’t wash it last night. It's sweaty from being under his beanie yesterday, a human scent that Kevin enjoys. His hand rests on Aaron’s stomach, feeling it shift with each of his breaths. 

“I don’t cuddle with people I’m not-” Aaron tries to roll towards Kevin, but they both freeze when his hip brushes against Kevin’s half hard morning wood. This time it is Kevin who recoils across the bed.

“Sorry. It’s not- That’s not-” Embarrassment makes him angry and defensive. “I can’t help it!”

“I know,” Aaron says, his expression warring between amused and appalled. 

“You know?”

“Yeah, obviously I know.”

“Oh.” Kevin swallows hard. “Is that why it’s weird?”

“What?”

“The… this. The bed. The cuddling. It’s weird because I like you?”

“You what?” Aaron sits up abruptly, the duvet falling around his waist.

“You just said you knew!”

“I know you can’t control your morning erection! It’s a testosterone surge. I didn’t mean- You don’t like me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You can’t.”

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do!”

“Why? Why would you-? Why?”

“Because!”

“Wow. Clarifying. Thank you so much, Kevin Day.”

“I wasn’t going to tell you. You tricked me.”

“How did I trick you?”

“You said you knew.”

“How would I know that?”

“I don’t know! You know things. You just do. You’re smart and observant like that. You knew where the pharmacy was.”

“I used Google!”

“Ugh. Whatever. Pretend this conversation never happened.” This time it is Kevin who pulls the duvet over his head. Maybe he can suffocate himself with it. After a pause that seems to last five years, the blanket moves. Kevin expects Aaron to get out of bed, but instead he joins him under the blanket, their breath shared in the space between them.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“What?”

“Pretend this conversation never happened.”

“What?”

Aaron huffs. He reaches out and touches Kevin’s cheek. He looks at him in a way Kevin can just tell means this okay? Kevin does his best to return a look that says yeah yep cool awesome not really sure what’s happening but keep touching my face. Aaron must interpret some positive reinforcement from that expression, because he leans in across the space and kisses Kevin firmly on the mouth. Aaron draws back slowly, but Kevin is already addicted. He surges after him, pushes Aaron onto his back, uses his body as an additional layer of heat as he leans over Aaron and determines to find out what his tongue piercing feels like against Kevin’s tongue.

*

“That’s Ursa Major,” Aaron says, pointing up. They’re on the love seat on the balcony. It’s the first time they’ve actually come out to it. Aaron is wearing Kevin’s hoodie over his own. He’s sitting sideways on the seat, legs over Kevin’s thighs. Kevin has wrapped the blanket around them as they look up at the stars together, breath fogging on the air.

“Isn’t that the Big Dipper?”

“The Big Dipper is part of Ursa Major. It’s the back of the torso, and that long bit is the tail. Though it’s longer than bears’ tails generally are.” 

“Oh wait, I know the myth about that. In Greek mythology it is the constellation of Callisto. She had a shit time.”

“Most women in mythology do.”

“She was a devoted follower of Artemis. One of the myths says Zeus disguised himself as Artemis to seduce her.”

“Swell guy, Zeus.”

“She became pregnant. Lost her place in Artemis’ hunters. As with all of Zeus’ affairs, Hera was furious. Turned Callisto into a bear. When her son Arcas grew up, he almost killed her while out hunting. To save her, Zeus threw her into the sky by her tail. That’s why it's stretched out.”

“Obviously,” Aaron says. After a moment, he adds:  “One of Jupiter’s moons is called Callisto.”

“Jupiter was the Roman name for Zeus.”

“It all comes full circle.”

“What are the others called?”

“Jupiter has 95 moons.”

“Yes. That sounds like Zeus.” Kevin smiles when Aaron huffs at his joke.

“There’s four main ones. The other three are Io, Europa, and Ganymede.”

“All named for his lovers.”

“It’s cool how much impact mythology still has on our world.”

“It is cool!” Kevin sits up so excitedly he almost knocks Aaron off his lap. He grabs him in time, and Aaron in turn grabs the blanket when Kevin’s movement almost flings it off them. “On the way we understand the world, on the structures of storytelling we employ, even in the language we still use today! Like, so much of our etymology is inspired by the Hellenes-”

Aaron gently shifts Kevin’s gesticulating arms enough that he can rest his head against his shoulder. He doesn’t interrupt him, just nestles himself closer, making encouraging humming sounds as Kevin continues to ramble about different words that can be traced back to Greek myths. It is only when Aaron starts to shiver against him that Kevin stops. He bundles Aaron up in the blanket and carries him inside, spilling him out on their bed, where they’ve spent the last couple of nights of their vacation tangled up in each other. Kevin’s going to miss it after tonight, but one benefit of the dorm beds is that they are so small Aaron will have no choice but to cuddle up with Kevin when they share one.

[tirralirralirra]

something I love about having read/watched frieren and dungeon meshi concurrently is getting to see that, despite their similar broad genres (fantasy, DND-esque settings, failure op elf girls /lh), they are two very distinct stories that ultimately achieve the same* thematic goal through different narrative means.

like you have frieren's contemplative, almost slice-of-life style storytelling that focuses on how the connections between people make an impact, and how it's beautiful to cherish the memories of those we love, even the small ones (especially the small ones), and that being alive is so, so beautiful because of those things. Then juxtaposing this with the overall narrative of a literal journey to a land beyond in order to meet with the dead, while not losing focus on those that are alive. Frieren as a story takes time to explore the small things that make life beautiful (fields of flowers, the beauty and not the power of magic, stargazing and sunsets with your friends).

and then you have dunmeshi's tight narrative arcs that are built around urgency (saving falin, first from digestion, then from...chimera-ization), but also continually return to the same concept as a core tenet to both the literal narrative structure around meals and the overall story: to eat is a privilege of the living. That there is joy to be found in eating because it means you are alive, that you survived. That taking time to take care of yourself is honoring your life. That death is a part of life through the acts of killing monsters to eat, and that the dungeon's condition where a soul remains tethered to the body is unnatural.

For that last bit, I love how we're just introduced to the concept in the beginning as a bit of world building, something you might just take at face value of, "oh, I guess this is how this works in this story", and over the course of the story the characters start to interrogate that reality, culminating in Marcille's realization at the end that they took death for granted because of the dungeon's condition:

[ID: Manga panel of Marcille looking down in thought and saying "Look, this might sound a little weird, but...I think the entire point of this journey we went on....was learning how to accept death.]

(Panel is from the ehscans version, will update with official eng when the final volume releases)

I also love that the story takes the time to say, look, you can be in a hurry, but you still need to take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, What will you achieve in the service of yourself or others if you don't take care of the most basic qualities to survive first? The most recent episode is a good example of that with the focus on shuro vs. laios, and then there's this reinforcement of the idea by the end:

[ID: Dungeon meshi manga page showing Laios, Chilchuck, and Senshi shouting "A balanced diet!!" "R-regulating our daily rhythms!!" "And moderate exercise!!" respectively, followed by the three in various poses in front of the word "VICTORY" and Laios saying "If we watch these three points...we'll naturally work our way to strong bodies!!"]

Anyways this is all very disorganized and I have other things I need to do and I could write a more cohesive, actually organized thought piece on all of this with like, coherent points, but I don't really like to delve into literary analysis on my fandom account. it just lives in my head, rent free. thank you for coming to my ted talk tumblr. don't expect to see more of this, lol.

*I say same goal, which is not to say the only goal. stories can have more than one theme, it's ok if you disagree with me on this, but please bear in mind that I'm speaking very, very broadly.

[suusoh]

(repost because the og was bugging out ToT)

girlie are you are one of the top mommy johan fans rn and i am HERE for it!. Anyways have 13-ish paragraphs of me rambling why calling a man "mommy" is revolutionary and hot actually.

(tw: mommy kink, forced mother-daughter dynamics, infantilization-ish?)

the obvious ones of course being he does everything. I mean everything for you. Bathes you, brushes your hair, dresses you up by himself, hand-feeds you, etc. Will not let you do anything for yourself if he can help it. Even recreational activities, like watching TV or reading, he is finding a way to make it with his intervention such as holding the remote and he reading the book for you.

not an exact point where this stems from, but I have a small vision of Johan curiously played with one of his sister's baby dolls one time, or growing up with a mother and a sister (in some alternate universe where miss vera cerna got to raise the twins by herself), so maybe some of those things have passed onto him without him knowing.

You are his baby. that goes without saying. He'll call you baby from time to time, but not in a cutesy-couple petname way that one would imagine your average boyfriend would say it. He'd recite it like a healthcare nurse would. Won't be used as a common petname, it would come out when he feels especially a bit more motherly. other examples:

- clinical mutterings to himself ("baby needs to rest, they've been crying all day.") - maternal reflex and musings ("hm? no it's alright. baby doesn't need to worry about that, okay?") ("and why is my baby feeling sad today, hm? tell me.") - accidentally being condescending ("baby, you know that's not good for you.") - the last one is so weird to hear from him because the way he says baby isn't lighthearted or lover-y at all. it's so blank and emotionless. 💀

I think the tendencies are gradual. I love to headcanon that it starts out as your friend johan being a bit too doting at times. you even joke about it, groaning and calling him "mom" when he's being a bit too overbearing. Over time he becomes your boyfriend, one that coddles you a lot to an almost concerning degree (that's... normal right? people always fuss over their loved ones...). Next thing you know he's lulling you to sleep, conditioning you to to associate your sleepy time with his lullaby.

I don't think he's being fully delusional about it? He knows damn well that he's a grown man and you're a grown adult as well, unrelated with each other, and you guys are nowhere near any semblance of a mother-daughter. But that doesn't mean he won't impose the dynamic on you anyway. Thinks it's beneficial enough for both of you: he gets to care for you and you get to be taken care of. It works so well that it might as well be your permanent dynamic. (Or so he says. You crying and feeling yourself slowly lose a major part of yourself tied with your autonomy is just a natural part of sudden "changes".).

So he won't infantilize you to the point of actually getting baby stuff for you lol. he just wants to be your mother <3 and mothering also includes maybe discussing some topics over tea to see what your beloved daughter has learned today and seeing what you made today; a new painting? a new crochet project? making another science diorama? tell him. tell mom what you're proud of these days <3

WOULLDDDD wear the blonde wig maybe at times. Not that he associates long hair with motherhood. but it's just a thing he tries from time to time. maybe he's trying to emulate his mom to get more in-tuned with motherhood? Norman bates style? hot.

has a set schedule for you. reading time, feeding time, daylight time, etc. Though he can be flexible, your bedtime and eating time is a non-negotiable. you need your sleep and your food. Though I think he'd love it if you can't think for yourself and depend on him for everything, I think he'd still try to enrich your brain. So there's a time of day for mind exercise and studying: Reading together, watching documentaries, little games and puzzles to bond over like a good mother-daughter <3

speaking of food: endless spoiling duh. I think he'll even love it when you gain a few pounds from how well he's feeding you. it's another sign that he's taking care of you well. From takeout, to cooking for you, to filling he pantry full and giving you a snack every hour or so; he is stuffing you until you're full and sleepy. Will never let you go hungry. ever.

nsfw:

maybe.... maybe makes u latch onto his nips. breastfeeding and all that. hehe. will train you to start sucking on his nipples as a habit for you to calm down. Lets you suckle on his tongue as well if it'll help you go calm down <33 it's his substitute to a baby bottle. it's mortifying to you when you're sad and upset then you suddenly get the tingling on your tongue to just... orally fixate on something. it means it's working.

WOULD absolutely research how to induce lactation in men lol <3

loves loves loves using making you cum over and over again to leave you dazed, soft, and unable to be feisty. I think sex will definitely become a means to fix you whenever you become a bit too... "fussy" for his liking. Makes you cum over and over again until you're crying and pleading for no more, until you're passing out and unable to move your legs. He decides how many orgasms is enough already or if you need another round. And from what he sees? baby needs another leg-shaking orgasm from how cranky they were this morning.

overstimulation his beloved <3 thoroughly believes that sex is a form of taking care of you and making you feel good. and why wouldn't he want his baby to feel anything but good?

WILL fuck to sleep every night. sees it as the best way to get you to have the best sleep over (aka: you passing out to the point you might even wake up in the late afternoon). Vibrators are his best friend.

cockwarming. cockwarming. cockwarming. aaaaaaand- cockwarming. all while he's cradling you into his neck. will playfully rock his hips into you from time to time to enjoy the feeling of you squeezing around him for more. further proving you're always craving for his care.

~ that's all i got so far hehehehheeh hope u enjoy!

[smellss]

Close quarters

Summary: Never has sharing a bed been so difficult

Warning: australian colloquialism/phrases (swearing soz not soz) and unedited uni is killing me :)

A long long night for the Matilda's, a wonderful game, the longest penalty shoot out in World Cup history. Y/n had never felt so proud to be alongside these women. Well most of them anyways, her feelings towards her Captain still remained unsolved.

Never had a single person frustrated her in her whole life, of course she respected her she's Sam Kerr for god sakes she had to. But that arrogance god, it frustrated her to no means.

Her smirk, her flirty winks and that tongue.

Wait what ew not like that

The way she smugly stuck it out after her goals, it made it her feel something.

Yes how exactly did it make me feel.

That's what Y/n was trying to discover using her vodka and soda as an accomplice on her journey. However, it was still World Cup and she couldn't get too crazy, just one celebratory drink.

Sitting with Hailey at the bar they discussed the game at length her other team mates surrounded around the pool table taking turns with one another. A new tactic of cool down their coaches had suggested as a bonding exercise.

Y/n felt a gaze on her from across the room but when she turned they were gone.

"You alright chicky?" Haley brushed her arm, a concerned frown rippling across her forehead. Y/n smiled at the term of endearment vigorously nodding.

"Just tired that's all, I might head up to the rooms" she yawned, finishing the last sip of her drink. However, just as she stood up two hotel staff came into the bar area.

"Ladies we have an unfortunate announcement to make, due to a leak in our pipe system a few of the rooms we had set aside for you have been damaged by water. Not to worry however, all of your belongings were fine" A few groans, moans and sighs were heard around the room.

"Not to worry girls, we have assigned you roommates to share with based off your positions, a bonding exercise if you will" Your coach chuckled slightly.

Perfect I'll be assigned with Hailey

"Arnold and Kennedy" both woman laughed like 13 year olds sharing a room at camp, walking off to their room.

I cannot believe I am getting an assigned room at 27

"L/N, Kerr is coming to join you" Y/n swear she felt her heart fall out of her arse. She looked over at Kerr who had a mischievous glint in her eye, saluting at her coach with that signature cheeky smile.

You both walked out of the room in silence, Hailey giving you a reassuring smile and thumbs up.

I really hope I can fall asleep quickly

Y/n heard a knock on the door she quickly rushed over opening it hastily.

"Hey roomie" Sam slightly slurred obviously not obeying the one celebratory drink rule, she glided past Y/n, taking in her room and belongings. Spending a long time looking at Y/n's photos she'd brought from home.

"Are these your siblings?" Sam half smiled, glazing over the photo she held it up towards the light.

"Yes, my brother and sister" Y/n stated proudly, extremely grateful of her wonderful supportive family.

Y/n noticed a change in Sam's demeanour once she saw the photo of her and Hailey at the season wrap up party last year. Sam's brow now furrowed as she walked away placing her things down.

Finally she turned around and faced Y/n, drinking in her appearance and forming a very large smile.

"Cute pjs L/n" Y/n quickly flushed a bright shade of red completely forgetting she was in her big Chelsea shirt and matching sweats.

"They were a gift actually, besides I don't know if you can be giving me much heat in those" Y/n quickly retaliated eyeing Sam's kangaroo and koala pj set. She gasped placing a hand on her chest pretending to be offended.

"Well I usually sleep in boxers and no shirt but I thought we'd keep it PG for our first sleep over" She winked, Y/n turning a shade of red she didn't even know was possible.

Both girls turned to face the bed, the one king mattress quickly becoming the elephant in the room.

"Ill take the couch" they both said in unison.

"You were on field longer tonight you deserve the rest more" Sam argued to the best of her slightly intoxicated abilities.

"You're team captain and recovering from injury you're taking it" Y/n retaliated

Sam shook her head, "Lets just share we are teammates, its just fucking bed".

She slipped in the bed switching her beside lamp off, a yawn escaping her she closed her eyes. Y/n stood their hesistantly.

"Y/n come on, I don't bite" The girl sighed slowly sliding in to their shared bed, turning off her bedside lamp, with now only having the light glow of Brisbane CBD shining through their windows.

Y/n could feel her heart beating in her ears.

The silence of the room was killing her.

Everything was so still.

It was as if time was frozen.

Why is this affecting me so much God, just go to sleep Y/n

The only source of comfort to Y/n was the feeling of Sam also tossing and turning, until she stopped facing Y/n's back.

"Psst, Y/n are you awake still?" Sam whispered

Both girls turned now facing one another. Sam feeling y/n's breath softly in hale and exhale.

"Yes Kerr what is it?"

"I just wanted to know...how long have you and Russo been together?" Sam hesitated, her breath tightly in her throat waiting for the response.

"What?" Y/n laughed tears nearly forming in her eyes, "Sam we are not together just very good friends"

"Oh,oh but you must have someone back home" The captain pried more.

"Nope just me" Y/n whispered, Sam's eye intently staring over her face trying to read her expression.

The room was hot, Y/n had never felt so tense she felt like she was melting. She suddenly felt a hand on her cheek, a thumb brushed over eye an eyelash stuck on Sam's thumb.

"Make a wish" Sam whispered, holding out her thumb. Y/n blew it away, Sam's hand now back on her cheek.

"Please don't kill me for this" Sam gently moving y/n's face towards hers.

Their lips slowly interlocking, the warmth flowed through Y/n like nothing ever had before. It felt like her body had finally switched on and every nerve had been sent into overdrive.

Sam's lips sweetly tasting like her strawberry chapstick and minty toothpaste. Sam smiled into the kiss breaking it apart.

"You've had no idea how long I wanted to do that for" Sam smiled stroking Y/n's hair.

I think I know what the feeling is now.

"Oh I might have some idea" she challenged back.

EXTRA:

"Macca I swear to god if you ruin this I'm going to fuck you up" Alannah whisper yelled

"One more shot" Mackenzie hushed leaning over the bed

The girls of course knew this was going to happen and were prepared rightfully so to document the occasion.

Both Y/n and their captain were entangled in one another looking as content as could possibly be.

"Mary you owe me that $15 babe" Hailey grinned

"No way", Mary scoffed hushing everyone out the door "I said August you owe me $40".

"Still worth it" Hailey smiled looking one more time at the couple before leaving them in peace.

[lonely-pcp]

Alternatives to telepathic communication

hey y’all! I just wanted to compile my own little list of communication methods that aren’t telepathic, as I struggle a bit with that sorta stuff and it’s kinda annoying seeing posts that don’t really go in depth about how many different ways there are to communicate with spirits and egregores. So I decided to make this post for the people who struggle with that as well!

Tarot

tarot is one of my favorite methods of divination, so I wanted to start off this list with it, of course. It definitely deserves a post of its own on using it for communication, so I’m not gonna go too in depth. Plus, some people have strict parents, but there’s plenty of alternatives. But tarot is definitely one of those things that you should research on your own, because there’s way too much to be said, and I’m listing methods, not doing a crash course on tarot. But a good way to use it for communication is to interpret the images intuitively, and if you get stuck, only then try looking up the meaning of the card. Chances are you might get a feeling that doesn’t exactly relate to the card meaning, but trust your intuition! The best way of knowing what the spirit is saying is by trusting the first thing that comes to your mind. Don’t doubt yourself!

but anyway, if tarot interests you, feel free to research it!

Playing card divination

this form of divination is basically tarot’s slightly easier cousin. It works amazingly for yes/no questions as well! Plus it’s a good start for people who practice in secret. I personally used this method of communication when I first started working with J, and it’s helped me a bit with my intuition as well, as I was able to guess what he was up to without being overwhelmed by too many meanings.

Here’s a chart showing the meanings of each playing card, excluding jokers. I personally use one joker as the fool, and the second joker as the world. It’s up to you if you even want to use them though.

There’s also an exercise for telepathy that can be mixed with cartomancy if you so choose! It involves drawing a card without looking and trying to intuitively guess if said card is red or black. If you do this with a spirit you can interpret the card after turning it over as well!

Shufflemancy

This form of divination is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING for beginners and closeted witches, as all you really need is a device that can play music, and most people have phones anyway! A lot of people recommend making a dedicated playlist for this form of divination, but I recommend using your entire music library if possible, because it can take a while to build a perfect shufflemancy playlist from scratch.

I’ve heard of 3 main ways to do shufflemancy, at least with a music streaming service like Spotify or Apple Music:

1: shuffling and skipping - this is the most common form of shufflemancy. It involves putting a playlist on shuffle and skipping a desired number of songs to get an answer to your question.

2: indicator songs - this involves assigning the spirit a song to represent them, and listening to music on shuffle. If the indicator song comes on, the song after will be their message. I use this method quite often since I usually listen to my liked songs on Spotify using shuffle anyway. You can even ask the spirit what they want their indicator song to be using the shuffling and skipping method!

3: asking the spirit - this method involves simply asking the spirit to play a song and pressing play on whatever playlist you’re using and seeing what comes up. If you feel the song relates to the spirit, then you’ve probably contacted them.

The only downside to shufflemancy is that you do have to have a wide range of music to get a decent reading, as it has better results the more variety you have. And another downside is that if you listen to a lot of instrumental music (like EDM, piano covers, etc) then you won’t have lyrics to go by, which kinda makes things a little harder. But it’s still a great method for beginners who want to practice their intuition!

Some general advice

TAKE NOTES! This is something that is definitely needed for this type of work, especially if you forget stuff easily. Take notes on what you ask, what card or song you get, the context and meanings. It will help you in the long run!

adding onto the first point, don’t be afraid to look up meanings! This mainly applies to tarot, as there are pre-established meanings for each card. Take notes on what you find!

Your intuition will always be above the traditional meanings. If you get a feeling that doesn’t align with the traditional meaning of what you’re looking at, it most likely means that you need to know whatever your intuition is trying to tell you. If you don’t get that feeling, that’s completely fine too.

that’s all for now, because I need to get this post out of my drafts. Let me know if you’d like a part 2, as there’s a bunch of other methods that I could list!

[ask-neloth]

Archmagister Neloth,

It is well-known that being a Telvanni Apprentice is the best magical education anyone in Tamriel could hope to achieve. Is there a formalized application process to become an apprentice to a Telvanni Wizard? Are there prerequisites? What sort character and personality traits make one successful as a Telvanni apprentice?

Hello, um…citizen! Thank you so much for submitting your inquiry! Master Neloth felt as though this question would be best delegated to me. 

My name is Talvas Fathryon, and I’ve been Master Neloth’s apprentice here at Tel Mithryn for about seven years. (Seven…long years). Yes, there was an application process…kind of. I don’t know if I’d call it ‘formal’. I first wrote to Master Neloth asking if he was accepting apprentices and received no response. Then, I just showed up in person to ask instead. He told me that he could sense that my magicka pool was sufficient, but that I was too weak-willed to be his apprentice. (Haha he always tells it like it is!) I asked him how I might strengthen my Will, and he simply said: one cannot fill a teacup that is already full. Then he told me to get out of his tower or else he���d have me defenestrated.

So! I devoted the next year of my life to strengthening my Will, mostly through concentration exercises—meditation, memorizing spellforms, visualization—standard practices, for the most part. I thought about his riddle a lot and how it applied to everything I’d learned so far, and that’s how I solved it: I had to let go of everything I’d learned so far. So, when I returned to Tel Mithryn a year later and told him that I was ready to re-learn the ways of Magnus as an empty teacup, he accepted me as his first apprentice in over two decades.  

I’d say if you want to be a successful apprentice, especially under someone like Master Neloth, you have to be able to take criticism (and not take it personally). A lot of people think Master Neloth is mean, and…well, he is. He’s very mean. But most of the time he isn’t mean in a dishonest way, if that makes sense. Everything he says has some form of truth or logic to it. So you have to hear what he’s saying beyond the usual insults. 

Secondly, I think you need to have a high pain tolerance. I won’t elaborate.  Anyways, I hope this was helpful! I’m aiming to become a Journeyman here soon, so he may be taking on new apprentices! If you decide to apply…good luck.

[lilithsaga]

Gluttony Is Not Just Excessive Eating

Yes, it is a main component of gluttony, but that's not all it is!

(And yes, this is also in response to people complaining about how Helluva Boss's Queen Bee-lzebub is not fat despite representing the sin of Gluttony)

Gluttony's etymology originates from the Latin word gluttire meaning "to gulp." This is to emphasize how someone can over-indulge in food and drink.

While gluttony's base definition focuses on the act of overeating and overdrinking, it is also important to note how people overeat and overdrink.

Many church leaders dating back to the Middle Ages have expanded on gluttony in one way or another. But the most popular interpretation comes from St. Thomas Aquinas's Summa Theologica. He goes over 5 different ways that gluttony can tempt us!

Laute – eating food that is too luxurious, exotic, or costly

Studiose – eating food that is excessive in quality (too daintily or elaborately prepared)

Nimis – eating food that is excessive in quantity (too much)

Praepropere – eating hastily (too soon or at an inappropriate time)

Ardenter – eating greedily (too eagerly)

The fact that there are at least 5 different ways gluttony can be interpreted is already incredible enough.

But it is also important to note that the first 3 ways focus more on the eating of food while the last 2 focus more on the speed in which food is consumed. Also, the food in question doesn't just refer to quantity, but quality of food can be seen as gluttonous too!

So, with that out of the way, how does this all relate back to Queen Bee?

⚠ SPOILERS FOR HELLUVA BOSS SEASON 1 EPISODE 8 ⚠

Throughout both the song "Cotton Candy" and the majority of the party itself, she encourages her guests to eat and drink to their heart's content.

Whether that be enlarging their food, offering giant kegs, or raining candy down on the guests, there is no doubt to anyone that she is encouraging gluttony from her guests. (At least, in the party-girl hedonistic approach and not to feed one's sadness like in the case of Blitzo).

Since excessive food and drink can often make a person feel good, I like the idea of an extroverted party-girl representing gluttony. And she is a fun character with both her performance and making sure her guests are well entertained and taken care of. It's honestly a refreshing take on the deadly sin.

The main point here: you do not have to be fat to be gluttonous.

As long as you have the core concepts of inspiring gluttony, I think that's all that really matters in the end, and Queen Bee knocks it out of the park.

And lastly, while this might be a headcanon more than anything else, I bet all of that dancing and flying is amazing exercise.

If she is putting that much effort into her performances and parties, she must be moving around a ton to organize, rehearse, and interact with everyone. So, if people out there really need a reason to why she is not fat, that's just my thought.

Anyways, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I honestly just wanted to rant to get it out of my system.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts! I'm sure there is probably more about the topic that could be covered by others but I just wanted to rant about my perception of it all. Thank you!