#at the end of the day he is himself just as much a victim as anyone he (deservedly or unintentionally) hurt
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fear — spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) summary: after a difficult day at work, spencer is now convinced that continuing to date you puts your life in danger. content warnings: mention of death, talking about an officer watching his girlfriend die, lots of angst and sadness a/n: hello why did i break my own heart writing this
Spencer ascended the stairs to your apartment, each step feeling heavier than the last.
Cases always took something from him, left invisible scars no one else could see. But this one? This one had carved into him deeper than most.
By the time he reached your floor, he stopped, staring at your door at the end of the hall. His hand gripped the keys you’d given him months ago, the metal cold against his skin.
You had handed them to him with a soft smile, saying it just made sense considering how often he stayed over. He remembered the warmth in your eyes, the way you’d trusted him so easily.
But now, standing outside your apartment, that memory only added to the knot in his chest.
This case hadn’t just been hard—it had been devastating. The victim’s name echoed in his mind: a woman who had been vibrant, kind, and full of life until her boyfriend—a detective working the case—had been unable to protect her.
The unsub had used her as leverage, exploiting the detective’s devotion to gain the upper hand.
And just like that, she was gone.
Spencer had watched the man crumble. The detective had blamed himself for being too close, for caring too much, for letting his personal life overlap with his work.
It hit too close to home for Spencer.
He took another step forward, his heart pounding as he stared at your door. His fingers tightened around the keys, and for a moment, he debated turning back.
The words the detective had said haunted him. “If I hadn’t loved her, she’d still be alive. I should’ve kept my distance.”
Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was he putting you at risk just by being with you? His job didn’t allow him to separate personal and professional—every case bled into his life.
Every loss, every fear, every failure. And if one day his work found its way to you? He didn’t think he could survive that.
He unlocked the door, the familiar sound of the tumblers clicking echoing loudd in the quiet hallway.
The soft light spilling from the kitchen gave the space a warmth that felt almost jarring after the day he’d had.
His gaze found you instantly, your back turned as you moved around the kitchen. You were making tea.
He must’ve made some noise, maybe the soft click of the door closing or the shuffle of his feet, because you turned around.
The second your eyes landed on him, your face lit up with a smile so genuine it made his heart ache.
“Spence,” you said softly, setting down your cup without hesitation. You crossed the room in a few quick steps, your arms already reaching for him as you enveloped him in a tight hug.
Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close, while his instinctively settled around your waist. For a moment, he just stood there, letting himself be held.
You smelled like chamomile tea and faint traces of your favorite lotion—comforting and familiar.
“You’re home,” you murmured against his shoulder, your voice filled with quiet relief.
He swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion. “Yeah,” he managed to whisper, his voice barely audible.
You pulled back just enough to look up at him, your hands sliding down to rest on his shoulders. Your brows knit together as you studied his face. “Rough day?”
He nodded slowly, his hazel eyes dark and heavy with exhaustion. “You could say that,” he admitted.
Your fingers moved to his face, brushing a stray curl from his forehead as you searched his expression. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He hesitated.
“I don’t know,” he said honestly, his voice soft. He stared at you for a long moment, his heart aching with a mix of love and guilt.
You studied him carefully, your brows furrowing as you tried to read him. Something was off—more than just the usual weight he carried after a hard case.
He wasn’t just tired; he was troubled, deeply so.
“Do you want tea?” you asked gently, hoping to coax him into some sense of comfort.
He shook his head, his movements stiff, almost mechanical. “I, uh…” he stuttered, his voice unusually small. “I’m not staying,” he mumbled, barely loud enough for you to hear.
The words hit you like a jolt, and your hand, which had been resting lightly on his arm, fell away.
“Oh,” you breathed out, the single syllable heavy with confusion and concern. “Why? Are you okay?”
You tilted your head slightly, searching his face for an explanation, but he barely met your gaze. His eyes darted everywhere but to yours.
“I think we—” he started, then stopped abruptly. His jaw clenched as he closed his eyes, as though trying to summon the strength to get the words out. “I think we should break up,” he finally said, his voice cracking under the weight of it.
Your mouth fell open in shock, the air suddenly feeling thick and hard to breathe. “What?” you whispered, barely able to process what you’d just heard.
“I…” Spencer’s voice faltered as he ran a trembling hand through his curls, his shoulders slumping. “I just think it’s for the best,” he murmured, still refusing to meet your gaze.
“For the best?” you repeated, your voice rising slightly in disbelief. “Spencer, what are you talking about? Did I do something wrong?”
“No!” he said quickly, almost too loudly. He flinched at his own outburst, finally glancing at you before looking away again, his guilt written all over his face. “It’s not you. It’s not anything you did. It’s me. My job. My… everything.”
“What?” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper, laced with confusion and disbelief. You stared at him, trying to make sense of the words he was saying, but they didn’t seem real. Your brain felt foggy, like it was struggling to keep up with what was happening.
Your chest tightened as you fought to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. You couldn’t believe this was happening.
Not now, not like this.
Spencer still wouldn’t meet your eyes. His gaze darted to the floor, to the wall, back to the floor—anywhere but at you.
But occasionally, his eyes flickered up, and in those fleeting moments, you saw it. The pain. The guilt. His own tears welling just behind his lashes.
“Spence,” you said again, your voice breaking as you bit down on your lip to steady yourself.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, so softly it was almost inaudible.
You shook your head, your brow furrowing as you stared at him, searching for some kind of explanation. “Where is this coming from?” you asked, the tremor in your voice betraying the effort it took to hold yourself together.
“Why, Spence?” you pressed, your voice rising slightly, tinged with desperation. “Why are you doing this? I don’t understand.”
His lips parted, but no sound came out. He seemed to struggle, as if the words he wanted to say were caught somewhere in his throat. He dragged a hand through his curls, a shaky breath escaping him as he finally forced himself to speak.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his voice raw with emotion.
You blinked, your tears finally spilling over. “Lose me?” you repeated, your voice breaking. “Spencer, what are you talking about? You’re the one pushing me away right now!”
He winced at your words, his head bowing as though they physically hurt him. “Because I’m trying to protect you,” he said, his voice cracking.
“Protect me?” You shook your head, utterly bewildered. “From what? Spencer, I don’t need protecting. I just need you.”
His head snapped up then, his eyes finally locking onto yours, and the sheer pain in his gaze nearly broke you.
“You don’t understand,” he said, his voice shaky. “This job—it’s dangerous. Every day, I see how fragile life is, how quickly it can be taken away. I see people lose the ones they love because of… because of monsters like the ones we chase. And I—” He stopped, his voice catching. “I can’t let that happen to you. I can’t let you get hurt because of me.”
You stared at him, stunned into silence for a moment. Then you took a step closer, your voice trembling.
“And what about me?” you asked. “Do you think it’ll hurt less if you leave? Do you think I’ll stop worrying about you just because you’re not here anymore? Spencer, I’ll still love you. I’ll still worry. The only difference is I’ll have to do it alone.”
Spencer shook his head, his curls bouncing slightly with the movement as a tear slipped free and traced a path down his cheek.
His lips parted, trembling with the weight of his words. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I’m really sorry.” He repeated it, the words tumbling out of him like a mantra as if saying them enough times would make it all hurt less.
And then he took a step back.
“Spencer,” you uttered, your voice so quiet, so heartbreakingly fragile that it felt like it could shatter under the weight of the moment.
It was a sound he would not forget—a sound that would haunt him.
His gaze flickered to your face, and when he saw the tears freely falling down your cheeks, his breath caught in his throat. You weren’t trying to hide them. You weren’t even wiping them away.
They were just there and it was his fault.
He couldn’t believe that he was the reason for your pain. The reason for the hurt that now etched itself into every inch of your expression.
But he told himself it was for you. He told himself it was for your safety.
Spencer cleared his throat, his voice hollow as he tried to explain. “There was an officer on this case,” he began, his words slow and deliberate, as though forcing himself to relive it. “He was one of the first responders to the crime scenes. Dedicated. Smart. He had been working the case for weeks, just like us.”
You stayed silent, your watery eyes locked on his face as you listened.
Spencer took another shaky breath, running a hand through his curls in frustration. “He had a girlfriend,” he said, his voice cracking on the word. “She wasn’t involved. She had nothing to do with the case—she wasn’t even in law enforcement. But somehow…” He trailed off, swallowing hard.
“Somehow the unsub found out about her,” he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “And he—” Spencer stopped, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “He used her to get to him. Killed her. Right in front of him.”
Your breath hitched, as you took in the horror of his words.
Spencer’s tears were falling freely now, his voice trembling as he kept going. “I saw the officer after it happened. He was… broken. Completely destroyed. And I kept thinking… that could be me. That could be you.”
“Spencer,” you said softly, but he shook his head, cutting you off.
“You don’t understand,” he said, his voice rising slightly in frustration—not at you, but at himself. “Every single day, I walk into work knowing that I could lose someone I care about. Knowing that I could be the reason they’re gone. And if that someone, is you—” His voice cracked again, and he looked away, unable to finish the sentence.
“But it won’t be me, Spence,” you said, your voice trembling but determined. You took a small step closer, desperate to reach through the wall he was building around himself. “It doesn’t have to be me. We don’t have to let fear decide this for us.”
He didn’t respond, his jaw tightening as he stared down at the floor. You could see the battle raging within him—the love he felt for you colliding with the fear that had taken root in his heart.
“Spence,” you said again, softer this time. “I know you’re scared. I know you’ve seen things I can’t even imagine. But just because something terrible happened to someone else doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to us. It doesn’t mean I’m going to get hurt.”
He finally looked up at you, and the anguish in his eyes was enough to shatter your heart all over again.
“You don’t know that,” he said, his voice low but steady, like he was forcing himself to say the words out loud. “You can’t know that.”
You swallowed hard, your hands trembling as you reached for him again. “No, I don’t know that,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “But you don’t know it will happen either. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. No one does.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling deeply. “This is about protecting you.” he said quietly, shaking his head. “It’s about making sure that you don’t end up another name, another victim, because of me.”
You stared at him, the weight of his words pressing down on you. “But you’re hurting me now,” you whispered, tears slipping down your cheeks. “You’re so afraid of something that might never happen that you’re pushing me away before it even has a chance to.”
Spencer flinched as if you had physically struck him, his shoulders sagging. He dragged a hand down his face, letting out a shaky breath.
“I’d rather you hate me for this,” he said finally, his voice barely audible, “than lose you because of me.”
The silence between you was deafening. You stood there, your tears falling freely now as the meaning of his words sank in.
He wasn’t going to change his mind. No matter how much it hurt him, no matter how much it hurt you, he was convinced this was the right thing to do.
“Spencer,” you said, your voice breaking, “please don’t do this.”
His breath hitched, and for a moment, it looked like he might break—like he might give in to the love that was so clearly written all over his face.
But then he closed his eyes, shaking his head as he stepped back once more.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice trembling with the weight of his decision. “I’m so, so sorry.”
And with that, he turned and walked toward the door, his footsteps heavy with regret. He paused for just a moment as he reached for the doorknob, his hand lingering.
But then he opened the door.
When he stepped out, the sound of it closing behind him was like the final nail in the coffin.
You stood there, frozen in place, staring at the spot where he had just been. Your chest ached, your hands trembling as you tried to process what had just happened.
Spencer Reid—the man you loved, the man who loved you—was gone. And no amount of love or pleading had been enough to stop him.
So you stood there, letting the tears fall, your heart breaking for both of you. Because even though he had made his choice, you knew that he was walking away just as shattered as you were.
#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#criminal minds x you#spencer reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fic#criminal minds angst
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I've been thinking about how I'd go about byler in S5.
When I got hooked on byler it was the same way I got hooked on every other ship; it's heavily supported by subtext, regardless of if it's confirmed by the text later on or not. Sasunaru, reylo, bkdk... all are ships that have intricate and beautifully woven subtext that made us fans speculate for years. In some cases discourse is still ongoing. That's a hallmark of some great writing as far as I'm concerned (all of these ships crashed and burned in different ways but until they did the writing was truly stellar).
Stranger Things and byler are in the same league. I just believe that this time the outcome will be a lot more satisfying. So how do we get the GA to root for it when it happens? I'm not the Duffers but I know some things I would do to help it along:
Dial up the homophobia. When byler becomes canon there can be absolutely no question; the bad guys of this show are the bigoted close-minded homophobes. It must be explicitly shown how mindlessly cruel this specific type of hate is and that it's incompatible with viewing yourself as a hero or good guy. I'd continue to spin the thread from last season and have the town blame pretty much all that goes wrong in Hawkins on your resident nerds, outcasts and misfits. Mix that with the aids crisis and the Reagan administration and next season is gonna be brutal. But it needs to be to drive home that in Stranger Things, if you're a homophobic bully, you're the monster.
Make the subtext hornier. One of the things I adore about Rian Johnson and Masashi Kishimoto is how they do subtext, particularly sexual subtext. Funnily enough dudebros in both the Star Wars and Naruto fandom, just like a lot of Milevens, didn't pick up on any of it. The Last Jedi is filled with Freudian sexual imagery. From Rey falling onto a hairy seaweed-filled cave hole to Kylo's light sabre design, yoni-shapped doorways and their joint fight towards the end—all sexually loaded and masterfully tongue-in-cheek. Naruto had a much longer run and was consequently more parsed out with it's subtexual imagery. Still it's not hard to find if you know how to look (there are some really excellent accounts on here if you wanna dive into that rabbit hole). Stranger Things has the beautiful benefit of being a horror; a genre that excels at showing our suppressed desires in grotesque and weirdly relatable ways. Phallic monsters, fluids everywhere, exposed scratched up and damaged skin, tending to wounds in intense and intimate ways, grime and dirt, panting, moaning, grunting through pain... It's up to the Duffers how in the face they wanna be about it. But it would be a missed opportunity if they don't crank up this type of imagery at least a little. Also, I want to see Mike suffer. Let him sweat and have a nervous breakdown over allegory.
Show that repression = impotence + harm. Freud, no matter what you think of the guy, is all over horror. This quote from Men, Women and Chainsaws sums it up pretty neatly; "Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways". Well bitches, now is later and it's time for the subconscious to come out of the closet and ruin everyone's day. Will is gonna be stuck in the victim part of the Final Girl trope until he fully embraces his queerness by having his feelings reciprocated by Mike. Mike, on the other hand, will probably actively find himself and the people closest to him in dangerous and harmful situations as a direct consequence of all the shame, fear and desire he's bottled up. Until he too, embraces his queer self by confessing his feelings to Will. Poetic cinema. However the Duffers go about it, the lesson everyone watching S5 needs to leave with is that forced conformity is harmful to you and everyone around you, and that there is no greater horror than the horror we subject ourselves to when we deny and repress the truth of who we are.
Well there you have it, this is what I would do to promote byler, get the GA on board and tie together this wild, wonderful, nerve-wracking ride we've been on for the last ten years. Godspeed to all of you, however it goes.
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TLDR: Jackie and Travis have a lot of narrative similarities and it’s fun to look at that through the lens of Jackie’s quote from the Pilot, “if we’re each others firsts we will be linked forever, it’s more poetic that way.”
I think it’s worth wondering about Jackie’s line “if we’re each others first we’ll be linked forever, it’s more poetic that way” and how we can juxtapose Jackie and Travis since they lost it to each other.
It’s already interesting that to do what she thought was hurting Shauna, Jackie slept with somebody else’s boyfriend. Nat’s boyfriend. Interesting because it gives insight into why exactly Jackie was so hurt. Obviously finding out your best friend has been sleeping with your boyfriend would be Earth shattering for anyone but she turned around and did the same thing to Nat, so clearly the cheating wasn’t really the issue (and yes I think Jackie considered Shauna having sex with Jeff to be Shauna cheating on her, even if you aren’t a jackieshauna truther there is a possessiveness they have about each other that can’t be denied). The issue for Jackie in my opinion is that Shauna had those big life moments and secrets without her. Shauna kept a pregnancy from her. Was having a romantic affair and didn’t tell Jackie. If she wasn’t having the affair with Jeff, I’m sure these are the type of things Jackie and Shauna would have shared with each other. So Jackie in her infinite wisdom assumed that if this revelation hurt her so much, she could likely hurt Shauna by behaving the same way. She hooks up with Travis.
Travis was a virgin. He was anxious about having sex with Nat because she had more experience than him. He let that fear turn him into someone who than vilified Nat for simply having sex with other people prior to him finding out that Nat lied about hooking up with the guy who viciously bullied him back home. Nat simply withheld information that she knew would hurt him, she didn’t backstab him in such an obvious way like Shauna did to Jackie, but ultimately he felt lied to and betrayed.
So they hook up and she literally dies the next day. Very 1970s horror film of her. The both of them have the two worst nights of their lives, for Jackie the last worst nights of her life and for Travis it was only the beginning. Jackie was of course doomed by the plot and she set off a chain of events that leads to the Antler Queen and Travis dying 25 years later. I’ve seen before someone mention that the Wilderness didn’t give the survivors anything for Travis’ death. Maybe it’s because the Wilderness didn’t demand it, he effectively did just kill himself. No one drew a card, there was no hunt, and he died. The same happened with Jackie. There was no hunt, no cards, she had the situationship ending fight with Shauna and goes outside and freezes during the night. I’ve also seen people interpret her death as a suicide. Where they contrast is that Jackie at that point had no will to live, and Travis did. I can’t exactly remember what Lottie said he was hoping to say to the Wilderness when he brought it back by walking the line of life and death, or if she even said, but I can imagine he wanted atonement. Or maybe just wanted to prove a point. That feels a lot like what Jackie wanted when she lost her virginity to Travis.
I wonder if he thought of her during that experience? If he saw the connection between that first hunt he was supposed to be the victim of the night he lost his virginity to Jackie, and then her being cast out and dying the next night, and then the hunt Nat was supposed to be the victim of but the “Wilderness” taking Javi instead. Jackie was not part of the hunt for Travis, she was not part of the “Wilderness”. So she died. Travis lost a lot during the course of his time out there. He lost his dad, his brother, his mind, and then he comes back home and after 25 years he dies for the Wilderness but not at the hands of the Wilderness. The Wilderness basically took out Travis’ whole bloodline and he was doomed from the start. His mother wanted the boys to go with their father to Nationals, he otherwise would not have been there but Jackie was always there. We wouldn’t have a show without her. It’s all so tragic and human and interesting to think of Travis and Jackie as being just as bound together as any of the other survivors/victims were. Even if their friendship/relationship/whatever began and ended with them having sex. They were bound together, just like Jackie said when she thought she was talking about Jeff. It’s even more interesting to look at the inverse and compare and contrast Nat and Shauna. The way Jackie dying directly leads to Nat eventually pulling the Queen, and then Travis dying which indirectly leads to Shauna pulling the Queen. Nat is a clear leader and contender for Antler Queen and judging from the trailers we’ve seen for season 3, Shauna might be initiating a power struggle to overthrow Nat’s leadership so Shauna could be Antler Queen after all. Now with Nat’s death and Shauna’s drawing of the Queen maybe they will be bound in death too.
#yellowjackets#jackieshauna#shaunanat#travis martinez#javi martinez#shauna shipman#jackie taylor#natalie scatorccio#travnat#jackienat#I hope these poor kids will be alright :/#yellow jackets#yellow jackets rewatch#season 3
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#to me the children of hurin is a very comforting story#the narrator of course is very matter of fact#'this happened and then this happened as a result of that and so and so did this because he thought that'#does not really bring any judgement or forgiveness of their own to the story#except that throughout the bad guy is understood to be morgoth and no one else#even though 90% of the bad things that happen to turin are a direct result of his own stupid choices#the reader is expected to sympathise with him on some level#because despite all his own bad decisions#at the end of the day he is himself just as much a victim as anyone he (deservedly or unintentionally) hurt#and idk#its just. normally when bad things happen to you you have to be a perfect angel#because the second you put a foot out of line suddenly youre the problem#but in truth there is no time that its harder to make good decisions#and not that turin couldnt have handled almost everything better#but theres just nowhere else you can find that understanding#that even if you yourself are making it worse#evil against you is still evil against you
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i was going to capitalize jesus' and god's pronouns throughout the essay as a visual demonstration of the way some of the stories juxtapose christian divinity with other things so there's something reinforcing the discussion other than dense repetitive text, but the thing is. jcs jesus is not a He/Him. that's a he/him. am i wrong??? i feel like that's the whole point. so now i am going to add some kind of note somewhere to clarify why and when i address him as which. so basically i am making jesus a pronoun carrd
#i think that like you could argue that jcs jesus' divinity comes from being a pop culture/religious icon rather than god or like his soul#but like jesus is not god in jcs#god is almost as much a mystery to jesus as all the other apostles#whereas the other works that do use jesus as a vessel for christian divinity blur the line between himself and god much more#jcs jesus isn't even that omniscient he doesn't even know he's going to resurrect. and he DOESNT resurrect#i feel like the whole idea is that they are all victims of the divine/the process of becoming icons#once they die they are truly dead which is why jesus doesn't come back#he IS dead. the MAN is dead and replaced by the neon led cross and the classical paintings#and judas is killed in the name of constructing a larger than life traitor figure#to me.#anyway the point is jesus theoretically BECOMES a He/Him after jcs has ended#but only because jesus the man has died. to become that kind of icon you must revoke your humanity#i dont even go into this that much in the essay because it's not about jcs it's about judas' function as a motif in various Medias i like#but i touch on the themes of jcs and He/Himming jesus in that section would confuse that discussion . i think#like last days jesus is definitely divine. you see why He/Himming would add something there yes??? jcs has a diff relationship w the divine#judas essay#THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE??#me.txt#god i dont even know if i want people to see this i just had to let someone know#another essay in the tags#college
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just finished breaking bad
#spoilers ahead so! tread lightly#breaking bad#bc i binged a lot of this show some episodes do not stick out to me like i cant tell u what happened on which episode or even which season#the naz!s were so left field like i think the story would still be the same without the hooked cross tattoos#it was surprising how the drug cartel or whatever didnt have much involvement in s5. like why did i think for sure theyd relocate to mexico#a follow up wouldve been nice is all im saying#OK. characters! my fav were mike jesse gus skyler and saul. hated walt literally since day 1. didnt change much up until the end#listen i can understand the concept of characters being morally bankrupt egotistical narcissistic abusive and manipulative#but walt was just . not charming enough a character to do it sorry he is what he is. sorry to him but i cannot stand him#i can appreciate some of his monologues though! fly (episode) was great for that the show needed it at least in my opinion#i like that all the characters are fundamentally flawed ! walt is at his core insufferable but he makes a good tragic story👍🏼#hank was so stupid like? 😭 when lab equipment from walt's school were stolen i thought that'd be it lollll#it was well written for the most part i think!!!!! some parts needed suspension of disbelief but whatever yk#what matters to me the most is whether i cried or not and yeah. yeah i did cry!!!!!! so what!!!!!!!!!#THEMES. obv theres change/corruption... power and abuse of power. toxic masculinity? and family. living life to the fullest if ur insane#also!!! just finished el camino and i liked it! simple story but i like the themes in it. this man's been through so much#jesse was point blank a victim of abuse and im glad he gets to leave the past behind and move forward with his life#owned up to the choices that gotten him up to this point. had control over his life again and building a new future for himself#very cool. also the ending of brba? i think it's good enough i mean i cant think of anything more fitting#but man did he do some incredible... maybe irreparable damage to his family huh. midlife crisis things <3#i hope they heal <3 somehow <3#wait about the themes too in brba!! one is reaching ur full potential... again if ur insane#idk maybe sometimes it's ok to flop. just as long as ur enjoying ur life and ur happy... i think that's fine! walt u and i will never agree#izza💭
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I understand you lol. When I first watched Merlin I feel angry towards Merlin about that too. But now I think that it wasn't that much of Merlin's fault as it was Arthur's that magic never gets legalized. Merlin was told that his destiny was to protect Arthur and return magic to kingdom. Surely he focused more on the first part but he did try to fulfill the second one too. I think he given up on it only in later seasons. But there was a times then he sugested Arthur that magic wasn't bad, but he didn't listen. And Arthur saw that himself too. Like when Will saved villagers with magic (which was Merlin) and sacrificed himself for Arthur. Dragoon (again Merlin) tried to save Uther's life AND he made a deal with Arthur that he will free magic users if he helps Atthur. Sure everything went wrong at moment, but later Gaius told Arthur that it wasn't Dragoon's fault that Uther died and he actually DID try to save him, so in the end he did kept his end of the bargain and Arthur just...didn't? Like? For that reason? Because he knew that Dragoon was risking his life trying to save person who would have him executed and he promised his people freedom and then just ignored his own promises??? So what was Merlin supposed to do about it really. And then there was Dolma(once again Merlin) that saved queen's life. And AGAIN Arthur didn't do anything. Tbh I sometimes frustrated with Merlin's choices but can justify him most of the time. Because you know at the end of the day he's just a victim of the system. But WHO set that up and who keeps supporting it.
Merlin did everything he could. He doesn't have to shove it in Arthur's face that magic users shouldn't be killed just for existing. Arthur can think for himself. And Merlin gave him an opportunity to understand and decide. Writers weally dumbed him up . There was no reason for him to be so ignorant about his people's problem.
So yeah THAT'S MY SHAYLA. Merlin maybe made some dumb decisions, but it's understandable considering situation he was in
Look I was already critical of merlin with the whole having the kings ear and choosing arthur over protecting and saving his people, but seeing what my country is devolving into I can’t help but feel a bit more anger towards canon and merlin’s choices. I get it no victim blaming he grew up in fear blah blah blah but he had arthur’s fucking ear and all the power in the world and he couldn’t go “heyyyy lets talk about the antimagic laws for a moment yeah?” And just (at the very least) nudged arthur in the right direction??
Sorry, I know that focusing my attention on bbc’s however long old show is silly in comparison to whats actually happening but fandom is my little get away when shit gets tough and to hide away and see the same shit is fucking mental. I’m grabbing merlin by the throat and throttling him rn. Get ur act together fuckface. Love you 🫶 SAVE YOUR FUCKING PEOPLE
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Madam Zenin - T.F.
Synopsis. There’s nothing that rouses Toji, the infamous head of the Zenin clan, nothing that will make him lose control - until they take what’s most important to him. You.
Pairing. Toji Fushiguro x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, arranged marriage, clan leader! Toji, kídnapping, the elders súck, Toji goes INSANE, BRÉEDING, talks of an heir, oraI (fem), fíngering, Toji’s powers, FÉRAL Toji, créampie, spítting, overstím, AU if Toji didn’t leave the clan, slight misogyny from Naoya, slight bIood, pet names, swearing.
Word count. 6.2k
A/N. Didn’t realize how much clan leader!Toji made me quake so…Hope y’all have a good day <3
“Who took her?”
“M-master?”
There wasn’t a single individual in the Zenin Estate that didn’t think Toji Zenin wouldn’t kill them in the blink of an eye. Happily, at that.
It was rumored he was cursed, ruthless. And out of everyone - elders, servants, children - not one didn’t look over their shoulder behind every corner of the sprawling Zenin house, flinching at his mere shadow. Broad, towering, wrenching out nothing but hushed apologies and deep bows - they never dared to look into his devastating eyes.
And right now, that pale-faced attendant of yours could only tremble - pray - she won’t be next on Toji’s long, long list of victims when the looming man himself bends to meet her lowered gaze. And oh-
Fuck.
No one ever saw the vicious head of the Zenin clan smile - no one.
Except you.
And here he had the most dangerous grin gracing his features, darkened olive eyes wide - crazed, when they halt on that slightest drop of red sinking into the tatami mats.
“My wife.” The other woman jumps when he loudly kicks your chamber door open. Abruptly barking out a deep, humorless laugh at the disheveled emptiness inside, “Who took my wife?”
---
Young master Zenin - Toji Zenin. Your husband.
It’s only been a few months since your stiff, lavish wedding ceremony to him - part of an arranged deal made between his clan and your own. Your parents practically leapt at the chance to marry into such an esteemed jujutsu name, forgetting all those dark rumors swirling around the young head at the first golden glint of the Zenin family’s massive treasury.
Sure, they promised to treat you well, to prime you into becoming the new madam of their distinguished household. But you knew better - it wasn’t your upbringing or your cursed technique that brought you here, they couldn’t care less - no, it was because of an heir.
The one thing that the Zenin family didn’t have.
And the one thing Toji Zenin refused to give them.
That much was obvious when just minutes after exchanging vows and the ceremonial sake, a group of todgering elders had thrust a heady antidote for conception into your hands, smiling smugly as if they’d just given you the wedding gift of the century. Of course, your all-new husband didn’t even look at you properly on your wedding night - opting instead for a short, husky goodnight and to sleep in a separate bedroom down the hall from the newly-weds’ chamber.
He wasn’t a cruel husband, you think, and he was attractive - painfully so - and felt more like a gruff acquaintance than anything. But the only problem was that he didn’t embrace you, not even a fleeting kiss.
Even when you really wanted Toji to.
“-T-Toji?” you’re breathing shallowly, eyes blinking up hazily at the dim lighting. It comes out small, cracking so pathetically at the end.
“---Toji--even----”
“No use--- had--months---”
“---keep her to myself--”
Instantly, you’re sitting upright in a cold, wooden chair. Heart thumping wildly against the ribs of your body, it bangs at the thickly digging rope wrapping around your body.
Shit shit shit - where were you? The last thing you remembered was chatting with your attendant in your room, and she’d handed you a brand-new perfume to smell- Fuck. Where was-
“Ah, you’re awake.” There’s a high, sing-song voice from somewhere on your right, and your blood runs chillingly cold when you recognize that voice. “Honestly, I hoped you wouldn’t be around for this part but-” Naoya Zenin claps his hands to get the attention of every other elder hunched around the traditional Japanese room. “-that just makes it all the more fun, right?”
With the one tiny lantern being lit overhead, you could make out those scraggly smiles, the sharp glint of the Zenin Clan’s famed katanas. A tear stumbles down your trembling cheek, tasting salty on your lips.
“Aww, not the tears.” Naoya guffaws, “You know m’not good with the tears.” Those ropes pinning your hands behind your back rub raw with your frantic movement, creaking and unstirring despite your best efforts. “Try and try all you want, sweetcheeks, but a failure of the Zenin clan will only be met with the appropriate consequences.”
A failure.
The words would’ve cut deep had they not been the very same ones spat at you at every clan meeting - the exact reason you didn’t accompany Toji to the one today. Toji, you think. Fuck, how you wished you’d have gone just this one time.
Straightening your spine the best you could in this binding chair, you ask - firm, pretending for all the world to be as confident as you’re not. “What do you want from me?”
It’s as if your question is the biggest joke that every scowling man in this room had heard, and they all burst into wheezing, riotous laughter. Some even slapping their knees - even Naoya gives you a cold, leeringly gleeful grin, “Just as mouthy as he is, huh?” He turns back to the elders, “She’s asking what we want!”
You bristle at another bout of cackles, struggling to hiss out a strangled, “Well- well if you bastards just fucking told me-”
“An heir.”
Fuck, you had a feeling it was this.
“What? You pussies get your rocks off by wondering about mine and Toji’s sex life?” you let out shrill laughter, mouth moving before your brain because fuck, if it was all going to end now, might as well spew out everything you’ve wanted to since you walked in here. You shake your woozy head, “Oh fuckin’ grow up, if the man himself wanted an heir then you’d know-”
Eyes enraged, he takes a heated step towards you, “You little-”
“Naoya.” The strained drawl of an elder you’d seen around the corridors stops him straight in his tracks, and Naoya gives the man a hasty, reluctant bow. “Finish it. Before he gets back.”
Those last few words splatter a few drops of panic into your words, and a few more exhausted tears stream down your face.
“Heh, whatever.” he’s taking one last greedy lookover down your rattling figure. “Would’ve taken y’for myself if I didn’t think he’d kill me, sweetcheeks. What a shame.” Trailing off airily, he turns back towards where you spot another spiking glisten in the dark, a metallic twang! rings through the thick, musty atmosphere. “Who knows, maybe his next wife will actually listen to a thing or two.”
Next wife.
You’re not sure why but the thought made your heart clench. And you’re gasping when he turns back around - silver katana in hand - trying to scream, yell, anything for help. But no sound comes out.
Instead, all you can do is gape when Naoya crowds in menacingly closer, you can just hear the smile in his voice when he coos mockingly, “You’re much better when you shut up, doll.” You press your lips tightly together at the same, sullied use of Toji’s nickname for you - wondering how he would react to all of this. Wincing at the cutting whoosh! of the katana being raised up, up, up- “Any last wo-”
BANG!
You’re grimacing at the loud crashing of wood and panels, sliding doors ripped to shreds. And in the hazy cloud of dust you could make out the outline of a tall, heaving figure. Big arms swaying with his choppy breaths, he’s standing still - dangerous.
And even in the soft darkness, your unblinking gaze caught on his gleaming, feral smile, sharp canines bared like some beast. Eyes carnivorous, widened as he assesses the room like a predator lurking in on its prey.
The drop of fear hits you before the realization - Toji.
Letting out a strangled yelp, “T-Toj- mmpf!” Before cold, wrinkly fingers come up from behind to cover your mouth. But even the slightest sound of your voice has Toji’s form jolting - fingers twitching on the handle of his blade, like electricity zapped through his entire body, and you can hear the elder behind you take in an obvious gasp when his eyes lock onto the two of you.
Finally.
Toji’s lips part silently, and abruptly, you’re being let go of as if you burned. “You.”
It happens so fast that you’re not even sure you imagined it, in a split-second, the long, jagged dagger in Toji’s hand is being flung right at his shivering target. .
And you knew he won’t miss - he never will, because you’re not even blinking when a drawn-out groan of pain echoes from behind you. Followed by an echoing thud!
“My wife.” Toji’s rasping baritone sends goosebumps racing down your spine, you’re puffing in a quick inhale at just how close he sounds. Sure enough, when you look up, you’re met with softened sage eyes, and crooked beginnings of a smile. “My wife.” he breathes out, as if he still couldn’t really believe it. But any and all tenderness in his body bleeds away when Toji abruptly looks over his shoulder at the men crowding around the entrance with a thunderous glare, “Next.”
Naoya is the first to dare to speak - to even move. Yelling, “Y-y- do you even know who that- the crime it is to kill one of the elders-”
Fuck, you swear Toji looked elated at that, that savage grin still plastered on his face, he grits through clenched teeth, “Next.”
Next. Next. Next. Next.
It’s all that kept being laughed - laughed - out when Naoya activated his own cursed technique, absolutely nothing against Toji’s rampant ravaging. The thrum of jujutsu makes your head throb, and Toji’s steps sound deafening. Pressurized lunges towards the man himself, and before he can think - before he can even breathe - Naoya’s being pinned face-down on the tatami floor. Face stinging with the force of the stronger man’s foot on his head, pressing it underneath his wooden sandals. He speaks softly - as if talking down to a child - over the strained pop! pop! pop! of joints. “For taking my wife, for insulting the very soul of my soul.”
Toji wasn’t done, he wasn’t even stopping. He was out of control. Ready to kill. To break.
And none of the elders could do anything - in fact, they fall fatally still onto their knees at Toji’s growing smile, the slow turn of his head. All knowing they were on the very brink of death himself. “Who’s next?”
Fatigue and relief hits you like a semi-truck - five of them, in fact. And you can feel your body drooping lower, vision tinging with black at the corners. Over the grotesque crunching of limbs, you think you could hear a faint, gruff laughter of, “Yeah, ya might wanna sleep this one out, doll.”
---
Toji never wanted to let you out of his sight. Never.
And with you so vulnerable like this - dozing off gently on his silken bedsheets, body curling subconsciously into his benevolent hold - he thinks he never will.
Mellow, rounded tips of his thick fingers glide down your skin, sensitive from the hot water and the way he’d washed away every evidence of the blood and pain from just a few hours before.
“I’m sorry.” Toji breathes, hushed, a thumb gliding away a stray droplet of water on the apple of your cheek. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” He connects his forehead with your damp one, eyes fluttering shut. “I’m sorry. If I hadn’t come to see you early from the meeting- just knew something felt wrong.”
“Sorry for what, Toji?”
Your teasing tone of voice shocks him to his very core, and yet he can’t find it in himself to pull away - fuck, he can’t even dare open his eyes to look. “All of it.” he’s spitting out, tormentingly.
It takes you a while to find the words, “It’s- it’s not your fault.” you nod, a wet hand coming up to comb through Toji’s soft black tresses. “It’s neither of ours.”
There’s a few seconds of silence, in which he’s scrubbing non-existent beads of water off of you. Long strokes - slow, and purposeful - and you have to hold back your sudden yelp when it hits you that this was the first time that he saw you naked.
“But-” he falters, shaking his head - before thinking better of it. And you take the moment to appreciate just how gorgeous he is up close, every spike of pink in his worried lips, dark lashes kissing his high cheekbones. “But it’s over now, you can- you can go back to your clan.” he grimaces, still looking like he wanted to rip something - someone - apart. “The Zenin family is done.”
Done.
“Toji.” you exhale, luring in your face so close to your husband’s. Too close. “Come with me. Fuck this Estate, fuck having an heir- and fuck the elders, if they’re not dead by now anyway.” They were - every single one - bodies piled high in the same room you were carried tenderly out of, you find out later. You steady onto your elbows on that unfamiliar mattress - Toji’s, you distinctly realize. And his brows crinkle upwards into an expression you’ve never seen on him before.
“I…”
“And-” A hand of yours wraps around his throat, nails digging into the racing pulse of his at the side of his milky neck. “-kiss me.”
Then he’s raising his eyes to look at you and fuck-
You were fucked.
You might as well have just signed away your own will because here was the man that was covered in blood not too long ago, here he was with his lids hooded, pupils blown. “My wife.” he repeats that same mantra from before, lips parting like something so dark, visceral, was poked dangerously awake. Like he couldn’t quite believe it. His eyes flicker in a lingering triangle across both of your eyes, your lips. Just a hair’s breadth away. Straining out a raspy, “Oh fuck.”
Depraved - Toji’s lips are so depraved . And he’s drinking you in like all his bloodthirst from before had liquidated into pure need.
You’re mewling when a large palm brushes over to cup your cheek, tilting that pretty head of yours to deepen the kiss. “Toji.”
You shouldn’t have done that - oh, you shouldn’t have done that. Because the sound of his own name in your syrupy sweet tone makes him jolt. Jolt. His entire body rumbles with a deep, wrenched-out growl, followed very closely by a loud slam! of Toji’s fist banging down on the nearby bedside table. Only later will you find that perfectly indented hole in the shape of his hand, splinters scattered across the floor.
Like wanted to keep in control - needed to keep in control. But was failing - miserably.
“F-fuuuuck-” he draws out huskily into your mouth, that tiny scar always at the corner of his mouth catching on your lower lip when he takes it between his. Sucking on that slick-glossed seam harshly, it almost hurt - but it hurt so good. “You have no idea- absolutely no fuckin’ idea how much I’ve wanted to do this.”
And suddenly you’re so painfully aware of the way your robe hadn’t been tied up properly, feeling the cinch of your sensitive nipples against his rich yukata, the warmth of all five of his long fingers splaying out just below the curve of your tits.
You can feel his needy hips rutting into yours - such raw strength in the way he holds your own still so easily. Pushing right into the bullseye between your legs with the outline of his massive, heated bulge. Languid, delicious drags.
“Fuck we shouldn’t-” he cries out when you’re reeling him back in with his plump lip tucked beneath your teeth. “You need to-” Before he’s being tugged back in again. And again. And again and again like one taste of your candied lips and he was addicted. Barely able to choke out a single syllable before mashing them back onto yours. Gruffing out a deep rumble from the depths of his sculpted chest, “Shit- y’know why I didn’t do this sooner? Why I didn’t just fuck you right then and there in front of hngh- everyone whenever I wanted to? Because I knew-”
He cuts himself off with a convulsing shudder, pulling away just enough that you whine disappointedly. “I was gonna fuckin’ ruin you.”
“Couldn’t- hngh-” you’re mewling at the delicate little strings of syrupy spit snapping. Spying down at the way his yukata was disheveled now, displaying such delicious panes of warm skin for you. “Couldn’t have guessed.”
Toji’s brows raise at your slightly bratty tone, lips curling into such a sinful smirk that it makes your cunt throb so hotly, despite the slowly cooling water. His eyes darken - as if something snapped. “Oh- you’re gonna fucking regret that, ma.”
And something did - maybe his whatever restraint he had left, probably you by the end of this.
In an instant, you’re seeing a flash of that man- that monster from before. Baring you the most vicious grin inhumanly possible, if you didn’t know any better you’d have wondered how high the death count would be. The hundreds? The thousands?
He’s worshiping down your body like an apology for all that transpired before, hot, wet brandings of his mouth across each and every inch of skin he could reach. It made you whimper, it made you feel the powerful hum of his strength at his fingertips, it made you need more more more-
All you can let out is a drawling moan when he unapologetically snaps! the hem of your panties onto your heated skin, “Don’t be such a t-tease.”
Oh, you were so weak against the dark head of the Zenin clan, against the way he circles his two hands around your ankles. Easily pulling - hauling you across the plush mattress like some ragdoll.
Not even hesitating before ripping your poor yukata off your body, until you’re left spread so shamefully underneath him, Toji knocking down hard onto his knees before you.
“Well- whatever my wife wants…” the same dangerous grin grows along his face, glinting white teeth bared where they held your flimsy excuse of panties between honed canines. He murmurs the final few words hovering over where you needed him the most, “...no elder or god themself could stop me from giving you.”
RIP—!
It’s the last thing breathed out of his heaving lungs before your poor underwear is being torn off of you by his very mouth, not wasting a moment before spitting them out, and burying his face between your trembly thighs. Not even taking in one last gulp of air, not even thinking because all Toji Zenin knew was that he was going to fucking die if he didn’t taste your sweet sweet cunt right now.
“Oh f-fuck-” he’s musing, sharp tongue stuttering for once in his life. “Fuck fuck fuck- fuck-” You’re yelping when your jelly-like legs are pliantly thrown over Toji’s broad shoulders, digging into the muscles of his deltoids. “Can’t believe you’ve been-” He trails off so deliriously, planting a hot, thick glob of spit on your spread pussy lips once. Twice. Smearing that glistening coat along your puffy folds with the fat of his thumb, “-been holdin’ out on me like this.”
“Shit- s’too much.” you’re whining at the slippery gloss of the mess he’s made down below leaking down your slit. Threading your fingers through his silky locks, “I wasn’t holding out on anything, y’know-”
His wide-eyed gaze was locked on your sloppily winking hole, circling the rim of that needy ring of muscle with his pointed index. “God…” his hot breath fans your dripping cunt, “You might just be my god. Didn’t wanna bring a kid into this family but you’re so- so sweet m’thinking it might not be too bad.”
Those words are barely even registered in your mind before his pretty pink lips wrap themselves around your throbbing clit. Handsome cheekbones hollowing, droopy eyes rolling to the back of his head when Toji sucks. Whirling his tongue erratically around the sensitive nub, such lewd little squelches ring in your ears.
“T-Toji—” your purring moans only make him bury his face even deeper, nose pressing up against the edge of your sopping slit. And each thorough drag of your slobbering cunt down his face makes you knock against the end of his chin, so thirsty with the way he was making out with your cunt. Like he couldn’t get enough - never will. “Y-you were the one-” the heels of your feet move up higher to loop at his neck. “-holding out.”
And you knew that Toji the strongest of his clan - you knew it took more than a mere, barely-lucid tug to have him clashing even deeper into your pussy.
But he does for you anyway.
“Fuck- fuck you little-” Toji’s own heavy tongue betrays him with a throaty moan, and he looks so furious. Seething at the way he was pussydrunk already. Greedy gaze so crazed that you’re back to wondering how high the kill count would be- would they all even fit on the Zenin Estate? “-f tha’s what you fuckin’ want.”
“Wha- oh!” you yelp at the sheer burning stretch of your legs being pushed up, up, up until your knees were knocking against your tits. And Toji takes the shamefully spread opportunity to bully one rummaging finger past your swollen folds. “Oh fuck- you’re reaching so- so-”
“Finish it.”
It takes you a second to realize that Toji’s addressing you, his tone so jagged. Words muffled when he pants them out into your weeping cunt.
He’s pulling out his finger - intentionally curving exactly against all those sweet spots mushed into your velvety walls - only to brand your poor clit with a sharp smack! “Finish that fucking sentence, ma.”
“-deep!” your hips are bucking up at another hefty intrusion, Toji’s fingers relentless inside your elastic wall. Molding out your insides to memorize every bump of his knuckles, every neat curve of his short fingernails. “So so- deep, Toji.” you whine, your shaky hands coming to rest at where you could feel him pumping in and out feverishly into hidden nooks and crannies of your sopping cunt. “C-can feel you right- here!”
This earns you another smack! gifted once again on your awaiting clit, but any and all irritation is swept away when he’s clashing his lips with yours down below in such a messy kiss. Meshing around the bulge of his own large fingers, tongue rolling placatingly over your glisteningly ravaged clit. Flicking, “Yeah- definitely my kind of fucking goddess.” His own free hand dances up to rest about midway up your stomach, pressing down. “M’gonna be in even deeper soon, y’know. Trust me.”
It’s at this moment that Toji’s exploratory fingers find their greedy way to your bulbous g-spot, immediately crashing into it - hard.
There. There there there, you want to say - but you don’t have to, because he could tell. Could feel the vice-like grip of your slicked walls, the way it’s almost difficult to hammer back into your cunt.
“Yeah yeah I got it-” he’s humming cockily, back to dragging his lips all over your clit senselessly all over. “All you hafta to do is- hah-” He’s being cut off by his own ravenous thirst, slurping mouth grinding even faster into your pretty pussy. And all you can hear are those syrupy squelches and the smacking of Toji’s mouth, your whining ah! ah! ah! following with every push of his fingers forming around your gummy walls. Curling deftly to massage all your sweetest spots he’s already mapped out so scarily well. “-ahh fuck- can’t get enough. Would kill them all over again just for a single taste of this. Would kill everyone- burn down this entire fuckin’ city.”
You didn’t doubt it, and Toji didn’t let you - not for a single second.
Because he was almost violent in his approach, bruisingly pushing apart your legs further and further with each sloppy, stumbling second. Looking up at you with his wild gaze, with such a feral grin you could feel along every crevice of your overwhelmed cunt.
“Can tell ya liked that-” he’s huffing out a surprised bout of laughter, “Ohhh- ya like that very much, huh?”
His tongue was alternating between ravaging your clit and brushing against the teasing edge of your entrance now. Over and over. And you’re gifted with another imprinting smack! onto your quivering cunt - and another and another and another until you’re all but sobbing out such a broken, “Toji- m’so close, fuck- m’gonna cum, m’gonna cum–”
“Then cum f’me, my wife.”
It only takes a few more messy rams of Toji’s fingers knuckle-deep into your eagerly swallowing pussy until you’re crashing so aggressively into your high. Wave after wave of white-hot pleasure running down, down, down your spine and into where he was relentlessly stuffing your convulsing pussy.
Fucking you over and over through your orgasm, the pretty sight of you so splayed out and ruined makes Toji’s mouth water. He feels like a damn dog with the way his tongue lolls out, grin widening, he murmurs absent-mindedly, “Yeah- wouldn’t be bad at all. Swear you’re gonna be the end of my sanity.”
Fuck, you shamelessly ogle the way his dark robe falls down his broad shoulders, revealing so many dips and curves of muscle after muscle. He was so large - so meticulously sculpted that your restless legs fasten around Toji’s slenderly toned waist, drawing him close until your bare chests were rubbing up against one another. “Heh- you don’t get to hold out on me anymore, doll.”
It sounded almost like a threat - but your bleary, orgasm-drunk mind only has the chance to wonder what exactly he would do if you did. If you didn’t give him - the one head of the Zenin clan that didn’t get everything he wanted handed to him on a silver platter since birth - the one thing he would kill for. Die for.
You.
So you’re smiling drunkenly, head tilted to one side, “What are you gonna do about it?”
Toji doesn’t answer - doesn’t even bother to. And the only response you’re getting is a strained laugh - delirious almost, like the mere thought of that was enough to shred away whatever was left of his sanity.
And yours - clearly - because in that very moment, Toji lets his throbbing cock finally spring out, smacking against his abs to leave a glisteningly wet smear of precum. So so angry, his fat weeping tip lets out another wave of syrupy precum at the chill of the heady air.
Shit - he was big.
Long, long shaft blending so prettily from a feverish red at his tip to the tan skin behind those tufts of black at his happy trail. Veins pulsing, girthy enough that you’re wondering back to his kill count, thighs twitching nervously to a close.
“No- no no-” you could tell his tone was trying to veer into scolding, but you caught the way it cracks with so much raw need. “Don’t you fuckin’-” His hands just wrench your knees back open, green eyes just aflame at this point. “-dare.”
His pointed smile was so dripping wet with your sweet sweet juices from before, trickling in a sloppy trail all the way from the glossy corners of his lips, down to his chin. And his eyes follow the splattering, thick puddle on your collarbone.
“Oh-” Toji’s mouth falls into a wicked gasp, immediately, he’s surging forward to pool the syrupy mess on his hot tongue. “Heh- guess we really are just now consummating our marriage, huh?”
The movement causes his painfully rock-hard cock to just kiss at your puffy pussy lips, just mashing the fat round tip of his length between your slit. Teasing. So fucking filthy.
“Toji-” you’re wrenching him by his dark hair to pant into his open mouth, like a mantra. “More- need more- fuck I need-”
“More?” His shuddering rap is barely even audible, ringing straight to your very heated core, because he sounded so wrecked. So fucking utterly ruined. Voice a few octaves higher in disbelief, “My pretty girl wants my cock? Fuckin’ want-” And then it’s like all the air is being knocked out of your lungs - literally. Feeling as if you’re being split apart so sinfully so, “more?”
You couldn’t have answered if you’d wanted to - because Toji Zenin was fucking ruthless. Just as mean as those greedily lingering juts of his hips, pushing and pushing his massively rotund length past your first snug channel of muscle.
But that didn’t matter, because your slutty cunt was speaking more than enough for the both of you - or at least that’s what Toji mutters, over and over when he pushes in jutting, unrhythmic jabs to squeeze himself deeper inside you.
“Oh- oh my god–” you’re batting your heavy eyelids open to take in the way your overstuffed pussy just bulges around him. Lips spread so widely it was like they were conforming to each ridge and vein down Toji’s fat cock, beading a glossy sheen down every inch by fucking inch you were being fed. “So much- fuck, don’t know if I can take it.”
Toji Zenin would rather die than not have his pretty wife all overfilled with cock if that’s what it takes him.
And by the way your teary eyes grow wider, he suspects his pussydrunk mind might’ve just babbled that out loud. “Heh…didn’t I tell ya, ma?” His low whisper puffs hotly against your ear, tugging tensely on your earlobe. “M’gonna fucking ruin ya.”
And it’s times like this that it’s so clearly impossible to forget that Toji is inhumanly human - that you are so unfairly nothing in a match up against him.
CRACK!
Because with one, harsh ram of his sharp hip bones smacking against the globes of your ass - every solid inch of his intimidating cock is slammed against your tightly cushioning walls. It’s such a ravaging intrusion and you swear you could feel him everywhere. Feel him thrumming hotly against sweet spots inside you that you didn’t even know existed. Finally, buried all the way to his thick hilt, yet still nuzzling his hips upwards for more-
“S’broken.” Toji muses, and for a second you didn’t know if he was talking about you or the suspiciously sagging bed. “Plan B.”
It takes only two seconds for his beefy arms to pick you up as if you were weightless - god, he was treating you like some object. And the only time he’s not enveloped by your heavenly cunt is when you’re being shoved down like some slut onto the cool mahogany of Toji’s work desk, his firm front pressing up against your arched back.
“Plan C is to just fuck you into the floor until it breaks.” he snorts throatily into your ear.
And you wondered whether it was a joke - you hoped it was a joke. You almost half-believed it until he was back to bulldozing his plump tip back into your briefly-neglected cunt. Stretching the clingy rim of muscle to bend to his round length, fully. Oh, he’ll never get used to this sight.
Yeah, you definitely weren’t making it out alive.
“F-fuck you really are-” One hand of yours scrambles to blindly white-knuckle the smooth wood beneath you when Toji’s bludgeoning your pussy with powerful, long thrusts. Feeling every minute flex of his thick thighs behind your own, shuddering with each forceful hammer of his sweeping cock inside you. “-you really are in so deep.”
As if to confirm, the man himself glides down an open palm to your stomach. Pressing down hard with all five splayed-out fingers until Toji could feel the same incessant slam of his thumping cockhead, the cascading ripple of his heavy, cum-filled balls smacking against your ass.
“Told ya- hah told ya so.” his cocky groans are whirling all throughout your mind, such a hot, melty mess with the sheer fucking stretch of Toji’s cock. “Y’know…I can’t help but imagine just how pretty you’d hngh- look all stretched out n’ swollen as a momma.”
You’re nodding deliriously, and the way his crashing thrusts were just bruising against your spongy cervix, bouncing off onto every sweetly hidden sensitive spot inside your elastic walls. “Shit- ya jus’ got wetter- ya like that? The thought of me fuckin a baby into ya?” he spits, long sloppy tongue coming up to taste the dredges of tears streaming down your face- shit, when did you even start crying?
“Shh shhh- don’t cry–” he’s cooing, rewarding you with another heavy smack! right onto your poor clit. Every steady clash against your over-sensitive g-spot only sends a fresh wave of big fat tears for Toji to kiss at. “-don’t cry, don’t cry. Never f’me, m’never hah- gonna kill off anything that makes my pretty wife cry-” A soft, salty peck on your lips, “-n’ that includes me. If ya asked me to, ma. I’ll give ya anything you ever want.”
There’s a creaking slam! on the wooden surface, and a hasty look over your shoulder shows that Toji has hiked his knee up onto the desk. For a second, you wonder whether it hurt - whether the throbbing shaft of his cock wasn’t rubbed raw by now, whether his abs weren’t just burning with movement. Fucking you so recklessly into the desk.
But oh, you think Toji Zenin would care?
You think he would give a fuck about anything other than rutting riotously into your gripping cunt? Drilling into you again and again until your tip-toes don’t even reach the ground at the force of his pressurized thrusts. The change in angle has his leaky tip glide glossy lines right across the bottom of your dripping pussy and pressing down harshly onto your g-spot. So rough. So mean. You’re scrambling further and further up the desk and-
“Now now-” Toji hoists your weak hips up ever-so-slightly back to him, before pinning you to the desk with his full, heavy bodyweight. “No running away. Heh…how funny would it be if I actually did jus’ hngh- fuck a baby into ya right now?” His fingers get so sloppy on your clit, “Fill ya up- rub an heir right in everyone’s faces?”
“Shit- m’so close- again-” Your ears are popping at the pure saturated stimulation when his hand down below rolls over your clit. Desperate. Depraved. Glossing up the curve of his thick thumb with all the sweet slick beading out with each broken thrust. It’s like he was out of control - losing his fucking mind. And your delirious mind wondered whether you’d be next, that faint cracking of joints certainly not boding well for either of you. “Toji, m’gonna-”
He’s so erratic - sloppy. And so it only makes sense that your orgasm was the same - fuck, you didn’t even realize it at first.
So hard that your vision flashes red and white, breathing raggedly gasping in lungfuls as you rock your sticky hips back into Toji’s so greedily. Your voice is shot - because you’re moaning Toji’s name so loud that it almost felt disrespectful, echoing across the sex-thickened air. “Tha’s right- scream as loud as you want, ma. It’s just us in this house.”
And maybe it was that - maybe it was the feeling of your velvety walls clamping down hard around his achy length - maybe it was just the way you’re whispering out such saccharine sweet, “Cum inside.”
Because Toji’s fractured sanity can only handle a few more unkindly bullying drives into your gushing cunt before he’s cumming and cumming so much he thinks he might die.
Doesn’t know if he can - if he wants to - stop.
“Oh- ohhh fuck- didn’t think I’d actually-” You feel a branding bite inside the crook of your neck as his sloppy white seed splatters at your inner thigh with each rummaging thrust forward. Oozing down in messy, thick dredges. “-hngh- gonna fill you up so good- until you can’t take it anymore.” You didn’t know if you already could - because you felt so full. Toji’s syrupy cum sloshing around with each ram of his hips, coating your walls in a creamy, slick-like sheen on the inside.
“Yes–” you sigh over another splintering crack! from somewhere, “Fuck fuck fuck- need you to- hngh, wanna make you a daddy- give you an heir, To-”
It’s as if he couldn’t bear to hear your swollen lips part with his name, because Toji’s shutting you up with a sweltering kiss. Still mounted and rutting into you so animalistically, “the best- the best momma, you’re gonna be the best momma-” he hushes into your mouth. Pliantly kneading your body into a sinful arch for him, you barely even register it when he’s carrying you away. Two thick fingers pooling his glistening cum, inching them back into your stretched-out cunt - “Don’t waste a single drop now- hngh- fuck, you’ll look so pretty all full.”
Before you know it, you’re being sprawled out so easily on the clean tatami mats below, face down, your hips being propped up by one of Toji’s. And in your bleary peripheral vision, you could just about make out how ruined that desk was - how broken. How the fuck haven’t either of you broken any bones, yet?
Or maybe you have - you wouldn’t even know at this point, because Toji was still slamming into your poor, overspilling pussy again. His harsh grunt puffs out in a feverish breath against your ear, “Told ya I was gonna ruin you, doll. Better get ready-” He’s punctuating each word with a sloppy, sold thrust, pace picking up to fuck you so thoroughly into the floor. “Because I have a Plan D and a Plan E until m’sure you’re givin’ me an heir.”
A/N. Ooo what if I made a clan leader series? Thoughts?
Plagiarism not authorized.
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fic#toji#toji fushiguro#tonywrites#gojo x reader#gojo smut
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Tim begins to distance himself from his family after Damian becomes Robin.
It was obvious in the way he ran off to rescue Bruce, but that was more of a physical thing at the end of the day. He was desperate and had lost any kind of safety net and support he had after Dick threatened Arkham and how badly he hurt Alfred with his instance that Bruce was alive.
Either way he was going to get Bruce back, if not because he felt like he was an aimless, nothing human being without Batman then there was that he wanted to be believed.
Then Dick handed over Robin to Damian who at that point genuinely despised Tim, though there was also a level of jealously in the young Wayne’s mind at the intelligence and analytical Tim.
It was then that Tim decided he would bring Bruce back and then do his own thing, outside of Robin and outside of Batman.
He clearly had done his job hadn’t he? Sure Bruce was dead, but Dick was acting as Batman and that Batman had a Robin, so his reasoning for being Robin was extinguished.
Tim brings Bruce back and the older man praises and thanks him for several days and then, like everything else, the attention moves away. It goes to him connecting with Damian on a vigilante level and catching up on the last several months of him being ‘dead’. It goes to Jason who, now that he’s lost his foster father has decided that maybe he could try a little harder after all.
It goes to everyone and anyone other than Tim and this time? That’s actually the plan.
Tim isn’t as good of a hacker as Barbara, but she’s basically a god at it so compared to others he might as well be master level, just not against her. This he uses to shift around peoples schedules so Alfred has no choice but to let him go to school on his own (Tim may have also invented an early morning ‘club’ that was totally legit and not at all a fabrication). He makes it so when Dick is over or Jason takes the rare opportunity to visit he had to work at WE or DI, something important he can’t neglect.
He never has to walk Ace or Titus because he’s busy with his team mates.
Team mates who think he’s busy helping out Batman.
Tim still does work as a hero, but it’s entirely through his businesses after a while. A few times he has no choice but to go out in a boring black suit with a full face mask and hoodie. It’s got nothing on it, no symbols or gadgets. Nothing to connect him to anyone.
He starts with the homeless, dishing out vaccines like candy without even doing a campaign to showcase it.
Then he changes Bruce’s rather naive approach to orphanages and makes it so every single child who is put through is given a small amount of funding. He makes it so kids have more chance to stay with siblings, makes sure everyone who even so much as enters the ground of a orphanage have a real background check and sure the adoption rate drops, but so does the missing kids and DV cases.
Tim steals over fifty million from people like Luther and Penguin and all kinds of corrupt rich assholes for the majority of the funding and not even a cent of it is traced back to Wayne or Drake businesses. Whiles he’s digging into Lex be manages to get enough evidence to put a sizeable dent in his reputation, even if Lex manages to smooch a fair bit of it back.
He’s manages to take out a large sized trafficking ring and helps get the victims into a real recovery home that he hand picks out security for.
Later, as in a few days afterward, he discovers a dog meat farm and everyone medical veterinary student suddenly finds themself free of student loans and debt and with multiple work opportunities available and volunteer work being down right pleased for.
Tim knows he’s being noticed but given that he basically lives in his office in the heart of the city, he isn’t there to hear his old teammates and ‘family’ talk about the mysterious Dread.
Dread who was named that after a report came out about a theory of an unknown hacker or ‘cyber vigilante’ who was stealing money and information from rich folk and giving it to the poor, giving all of the 1% dread that he would hit them next.
The exact quote was ‘Those with money deeper than their pockets dread the hackers next moves. And they should feel that dread as a warning for this Robin Hood like legend seems to be getting braver.’
Dick was sure the hacker would have been called Robin if he hadn’t chosen that name already, to which Barbara responded with grumbles and growl because she couldn’t find anything other than holes and traps left by the hacker. It was like they knew her every move before she even made it!
Tim, obvious to his growing reputation until it fully took off, hadn’t even considered that his actions would be framed a threat by Batman. He would say it was because he didn’t think Bruce would ever really target him like that, but in actuality it’s because he knew Bruce was one of the few good rich folk. Surely he would be on the side of a secret vigilante hacker trying to use horrible people to do good? He embraced Dread quickly and was happy he make the rich squirm and brought a sense of hope to people, it was just like Robin but instead of them being safe and given light they were given a peace of mind in a mix of revenge and justice.
What Tim doesn’t know is that Bruce is still too far into his whole image of black and white, good and evil, that he tends to forget there’s grey areas.
At least Jason is on the side of Dread, even if he still thinks the myth of a story is just that, a myth.
It’s when Tim blows up a bank when everyone has gone home for the night just so people will find the underground money ring that and he visits the manner to get a few things that he hears them talking about it.
By that point it’s been around two years since he dropped Robin and as usual Dick always greets him with a look of a desperate puppy, “Tim! Hi, you’re here. I haven’t seen you in months, how have you been?”
Tim smiles at Dick even if he hasn’t gotten over his anger at his oldest brother and moves to sit at the breakfast table with everyone (Alfred, Bruce, Jason and Damian).
“Good. Busy, we’ve had a lot of donations lately.”
Jason snorts, “No shit. Isn’t Wayne Enterprise one of the few ones not hit by Dread?”
Bruce grumbles and shakes his head, “I wouldn’t say that. They’ve managed to get into our system and completely changed the Jason Project.”
Jason grins and laughs happily, “you mean improved! Crime Ally is doing great now. Not the best, but still a fuck of a lot better.”
Smiling at the man who once beat him to an inch of his life, Tim takes a sip of his tea and casually says, “You’re welcome.”
The whole table goes quiet as Tim continues to casually sip his tea.
The silence carries for a total minute before Bruce puts down his cup and leans forward with a slight growl in his voice, “Explain.”
“Explain what?”
Bruce stands over his son even from halfway down the table and very obviously tries to calm himself with a deep breath, “What do you mean ‘you’re welcome’?”
Tim makes an ‘oh’ expression before cocking his head to the side in confusion, “I was the one who fixed the Jason Project? Wait, did you guys not realise I’m Dread?”
Damian shouts out a ‘what?!’ That makes Titus jump and Tim laughs under his breath, “What did you think I was doing?”
“Running the business! Not stealing from people and black mailing politicians!”
It’s Tim’s turn to growl now and he stands up himself with a glare at Bruce that is as close as any of them have gotten to the famed Bat-Glare, “Are you fucking kidding me? Like are you a Tully kidding me with that horse shit?”
Bruce looks stunned and Alfred doesn’t even tell him not to swear.
Tim slams his chair into the table.
“What the fuck else would I be doing, Bruce? I’m not Robin, that was taken from me, so what else was I gonna do? I finished my job, not only keeping you from killing anyone but bringing you back, so I had do pick something else. I’m not stealing from the rich, I’m stealing from selfish cunts who ruin peoples lives for no reason and giving it to people like Jason. So, don’t you fucking yell at me and don’t try to make me feel bad for this, not when I’ve done more in two years than you ever have and- don’t you fucking speak Dick, not when you were the one who took my place here away from me! Now, I have a trafficking ring I need to expose so good. Fucking. Day.”
Jason is the only one who follows him.
#batfam#tim drake#bat family#dc comics#batfamily#dc universe#Tim Drake is NOT red Robin#dc#tim drake is a menace#damian wayne#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake centric#hacker Tim Drake
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close to home | s.r
pairing: spencer reid x reader
a/n: this has been rotting in my brain for days now i hope you enjoy the angsty comfort this brought me <3 my requests are open (guidelines in pinned!) or if you wanna just chat hop in my ask box :) gonna hopefully work on a smut fic in the next week so keep an eye out hehe
cw: angst, hurt/comfort, protective!spencer, afab!reader who uses she/her pronouns, non bau!reader, cm type violence, reader sustains injuries from unsub, vague description of injuries, maeve mentions, derek being a good friend, spencer being so in love with reader, this takes place probably a year after maeve, inconsistencies with tls and characters but who cares
wc: 2.4k
summary: the bau is working a local case when their unsub strikes again mid investigation, hotch tells reid and morgan to go check it out but spencer finds the address of the crime to be a little too familar
_______________________________________________
Whenever the BAU has a case based in the D.C. area, it’s always a little easier on the team. Familiar stomping grounds, ease of resources, no major time difference, and everyone can sleep in their own beds. The hard part about home cases is knowing there’s a serial killer in the place they know deeply, with people they cared about deeply.
Spencer and Callahan are in the middle of the bullpen staring at the giant white board with all the evidence they have so far. The unsub has been killing women in their mid 20s in the local dc area, with the mo currently unknown. there had already been two victims, both killed in their homes. Spencer was currently trying to analyze all the information the case had alongside with what Garcia was able to provide, and he was still hitting a dead end. Morgan had joined them at some point too, trying to offer what he could remember from the crime scenes but to no avail. He felt his eyes straining and dropping so he decided to get more coffee, but was stopped by Hotch and Garcia entering the bullpen.
“Police just got a 911 call about a break in, but there’s a witness this time. She was home when it happened and it looks like he didn’t expect that and tried to knock her out before escaping. I think it sounds like our unsub. Morgan and Reid, I need you to go check out the scene and interview the witness, see what she remembers.” Hotch explained.
Morgan and Reid nodded as Garcia spoke up, “I just sent the address to your phones, it’s a house on Hillcrest so it's not that far from here.”
Spencer froze. he had to have heard wrong, she did not say Hillcrest, “Did you say Hillcrest?”
“Yeah, Hillcrest Drive. It’s like, a 15 minute drive, not that far.”
He felt his heart drop to his feet, a sinking feeling building in his gut. That was the street you lived on. He tried to ground himself with logic, the probability of it being your house is only 10%, but he was dreading asking the fated question.
“Garcia, what’s the house number?”
“Reid, I already sent it to your pho-“
“Garcia, what is the house number,” he spoke again.
Please don’t say 1159. Please don’t say 1159. Please don’t say-
“1159.”
Fuck. The color drained from his face, and the nausea was building to a head quickly. Spencer hurriedly tried to think through the last time he spoke to you. Last night? This morning? He doesn’t check on you as much as he does when he’s not on a case, but oh my god why can’t he remember the last time he saw you.
“Reid,” Hotch bellows, finally breaking spencer out of his trance, “What is it? What do you know?”
He shook his head, “Nothing. Morgan, let’s go.” he grabbed his jacket and booked it out the door.
Morgan, Garcia, and Hotch all looked at each other in concern, before Morgan spoke up, “I’ll see what’s up.” The latter two nodded softly, though the worry didn’t let up in their eyes.
Morgan walked up to the car to find Spencer repeatedly trying to call someone on the phone, clearly unable to get through and getting really frustrated.
Spencer was alerted by Morgan’s presence hearing the car unlock but he didn’t even look at him, just immediately got in the car and strapped his seat belt. Morgan joined him in the drivers seat giving him a wary look before turning the car on and pulling out of the bureau.
“Okay Reid, spill it. It’s obvious you know who lives here.” Morgan speaks up.
“Just drive, please.”
“Because if you know something, something that could help the case, it would be helpful if we knew.”
“Morgan, just drive.” he borderline yells.
He raises his eyebrows at his raised voice, “Listen kid, i’m just trying to help you. I can see you’re upset but we’re on the same side, you know that.”
Spencer takes a shaky breath, feeling another shade of guilt at yelling at one of his friends, for something he didn’t even know about. He’d kept you a secret for many reasons— your relationship with him was still new, and he just wanted to keep you to himself for a bit. After what happened with Maeve, he felt especially more responsible at keeping you safe and making sure you didn’t get tangled up in his line of work.
Some job he did of that.
The one thing he regrets about how he handled the Maeve situation, was not asking for help until it was almost too late. For not doing anything about her stalker when he was part of one of the most famous fbi teams built to find people like that. He’d always live with that guilt, but he vowed not to do that with you.
He loved you so much. You were so kind, and smart, and beautiful. A breath of fresh air after feeling lost in a dark tunnel for so long. You were so understanding when he explained what he did for a living, and what had happened to him and people he cared about as a result. He still remembers what you said to him when he told you that you could have an out, if you wanted.
“Any risk is worth taking if getting to be with you is the consolation prize.”
Tears welled up in eyes thinking about the memory. If you were willing to take any risk, then he should be able to as well.
He cleared his throat, and Morgan’s ears perked up, “My uh, my girlfriend lives there. Where the unsub, at- attacked.” he voiced softly.
Morgan looked at him for a beat while driving, Spencer missing the way his face dropped. He tightened his hands on the wheels, and without hesitation he turned the lights and siren on and shifted gears to speed up.
__
The car pulled onto your street and the first thing Spencer sees is the flashing light of the ambulances. Morgan doesn’t even put the car in park before Spencer’s bolting out hoping he can find you quickly.
He’s asking all the paramedics he’s passing if they’ve seen you or know if you’re being treated, were you transferred to a hospital and he didn’t know. The tunnel vision slowly overtaking him until he hears a voice breaking through like sunlight call out his name.
He whips his head in the direction he heard it come from, and he’s never been more grateful to be met with the beautiful sight of you. You watch his eyes widen and let out a sigh before running over to where you were sitting in the back of the ambulance. He’s definitely not thinking when he goes in to hug you, not even knowing the extent of your injuries. He’s overtaken by the desperate need to hold you in his arms so he knows you’re safe and okay.
“Hi,” you choke out muffled, “Funny seeing you here.”
He pulls back to inspect your face, taking note of a small cut above your left eyebrow and the beginning splotches of a bruise forming on your lower jaw. His heart aches so much looking at you, knowing what happened to you and who did this to you.
“Hi, honey,” he lets out tearfully, “Are you okay? I mean, of course you’re not. But what did the paramedics say? Did they give you anything? Are you sure they checked all your injuries? You know what, let me go call the guy over. I’ll be two seconds.” his panicked ramble fading off as he rounds the truck you’re sat in to find the emt.
Upon his extensive questioning of the man who treated you, he found out that you had sustained a minor concussion from when the unsub swung at you with an umbrella, superficial cuts caused by a broken vase you threw to defend yourself, and a dislocated shoulder from getting shoved into the wall.
You were okay, but at what cost.
The EMT leaves you two and Spencer sits himself next to you on the rig. He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you as tight as he can and the other hand cradles your head into the crook of his neck, holding you so tight he’s hoping he can squeeze the bad memories out of you. It’s at this moment of feeling safe and sound in his arms when the adrenaline of your attack wears off.
Spencer hears a small whimper and feels a few hot tears trickle down his neck, your breathing gets faster as you’re attempting to beat your body’s fear response. The slow build up of sobs starting to rack your chest, and he immediately holds you tighter.
“It’s over, baby, they won’t hurt you anymore. I promise.”
You sniffle, “I know, I just can’t believe this happened. To me. To us. It’s not fair to you.” trailing off the last two words.
“To me? Wh- what do you mean?”
You take a deep breath, “I don’t mean to bring it up again, I just know how eerily similar this is to a past experience you’ve had. and I hoped that I wouldn’t be in a position to make you feel that way again. I don’t know why this happened, I'm sorry.”
He looked down at you incredulously, genuinely unable to believe that you were sitting next to him on an ambulance, beaten up with bruises and scars after a home invasion attack, worried about how he would feel when he got to you. It was enough to finally let the swell of tears saved up in his eyes fall.
“Oh sweetheart,” he chokes out, realizing you’ve been trying to be brave for him this whole time, “What happened is not your fault, do you understand me? My job is to always worry about you and your safety. When Garcia said the address I…I couldn’t even process it, I don’t even know how I got to the car,” he shook his head, “But I am the last person you need to push your emotions down for. I will always take them in stride and love you even more for that, okay?”
“Okay,” you take a shaky breath, “I love you.”
“I love you.” he leans down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.
Both of your heads look up at an approaching figure, who you quickly recognize to be SSA Derek Morgan. You knew Spencer hadn’t told the team about you yet, so you tried to sit up independently as fast as you could before he came over and suspected something.
Spencer’s grip didn’t let up when he bent down and whispered, “It’s okay, he knows.” You look up at him with wide eyes when derek finally reaches you.
“Reid, I already talked to the detectives and we’re good to go when you’re ready,” he turns his body to you and gives you a comforting smile, “Hi sweetheart, I’m Derek Morgan, it’s nice to meet you.”
Spencer rolls his eyes at the nickname while you giggle softly, “Hi Derek, I’ve heard so much about you. It's nice to finally meet you too.”
“I wish it were under better circumstances,” he sighs, “Listen, I know it’s all still really fresh for you, but it might help the case if you’re able to come in for a cognitive interview, or even talk to a sketch artist.”
Spencer doesn’t miss a beat before protesting, “Absolutely not. We can do it later, it’s fine.”
“Reid-“
You look up at him placing your hand on his chest, “Spence, It’s okay. I want to help, please.”
He rests his hand on top yours and gives it a light squeeze, “Okay, but i’m not leaving you alone for a second.”
“I didn’t think you would.” you smile.
“Alright lovebirds, you can have your private time later, we should go now.” Derek teases.
Spencer groans, “See, this is why i didn’t say anything.”
“You think I’m bad? Wait till Penelope meets her.”
__
The three of you pile into the car before starting the drive to Spencer’s apartment so he could get you a change of clothes and other things you might need. You end up falling asleep in the back seat, the final stage of your shock sinking in like a rock. Spencer checks on you from the rear view mirror and sees you passed out, and smiles.
“She’s cute,” Derek starts, “Can I ask how long?”
“Nine months.” he replies, fishing for something out of his pocket.
“Pretty boy hid a girl from all of us for nine months? Maybe we’re not as good profilers as we thought.”
“Imagine that,” he laughs, and gestures to the item in his hand, “Look.”
Spencer’s holding out a well loved photo booth strip with three pictures, of you and Spencer from the time you went to a local county fair. You’re sitting in his lap, mostly due to the cramped space and the expansive limbs. The first picture is the two of you holding up finger guns attempting to be as back to back as you can. The second picture, you intended it to be a normal one where you both smile at the camera, but spencer couldn’t take his eyes off you and the picture captured the love struck gaze he had on you. The last one you were about to tell him the idea for it, when he grabbed your face and pulled you closer to kiss you, neither of you knowing when the final picture snapped.
The edges were worn out and frayed, clearly broken down by the oils on his fingers from pulling it out frequently. It was his most treasured item, a constant reminder of what was always waiting for him when he got back from grueling cases, and how lucky he was to have you in his life.
“You look really happy, kid.” Derek says, thinking about the many times he’s seen his friend at rock bottom, the things that have been so brutally taken from him, and the suffering he’s had at the hands of his job. His heart warms for his friend, who seemed to finally catch a break.
“I am.”
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfic#dr spencer reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#bau team#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x fanfiction
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Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser
(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)
Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.
And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.
The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.
Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.
He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.
He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.
And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.
He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.
Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.
It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.
There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.
So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.
But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.
Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly
They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.
Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.
But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.
So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.
I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#jimcurly#jimcurl#jimmy x curly#curly x jimmy#tagging it as a ship bc I imply they have less than platonic feelings toward each other#No guy implies that his boy best friend is his home and he's his unless the two are in love#They love each other#it's an abusive and toxic codependent relationship#but what they feel for each other is genuine#anyway#Typical Mouthwashing trigger/content warnings obviously
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Someone asked me to elaborate on this post, so I will :3 (18+)
Logan is a man who has always been a pack animal—a sheep in need of a flock, if you will. As much as he can deny it, he thrives off of a need to belong, a need to be needed. He’ll never admit it, but the signs are there.
Being fiercely loyal, his devotion, violent towards anyone or anything that threatens his peace. With the X-Men he’s protective, but with you? It’s something else entirely.
When Logan finds a partner actually willing to stay with him—broken, animalistic thing that he believes himself to be—he holds on tight to them and refuses to let go. It’s an odd mix between a child holding onto its favorite doll and a dog sinking its teeth into its favorite chew toy—but the intent is the same regardless.
You’re his, and he’s never gonna let you go.
To say he would kill for you is truly an understatement—he would wage war for you, would watch the viscera river down his arms in streams—a privilege he offers to you and you alone, the only woman in the world he’d ever trust with his leash. It scares him, how much control you have over him, but it excites him all the same.
The best part? You truly have no idea how much power over him you have.
Even the simplest things have him bending over backwards for you, calling for him from across the house in that melodic voice he loves so much just to ask him for help.
“Could you help me with dinner?”
“Mind grabbing this for me?”
“I’m too lazy, sorry to be a bother—“
And the answer is the same each time—“You’re no bother princess, just say the word.”
He wants to scold you sometimes at the mere suggestion that his answer would ever be no. When it comes to you, he doesn’t think the word is in his dictionary. You have him deeply, truly, well trained, so much so that he’d gladly kneel at your feet if it meant you’d look down at him, because at the end of the day you’d still be looking at him.
Embarrassing really, that the big bad wolverine is secretly a lovedrunk puppy, one that’d dig his thumbs into the arches of your feet, smiling to himself when you let out that deliciously drawn out moan when he hits the right spot, right there, thank you.
However, that same puppy turns into a feral hound whenever he perceives a threat. Whether it be friend or foe, he’s one step behind you the moment you show any kind of discomfort. Even the slightest hint of hostility and Logan’s right there, chest puffed and glaring daggers at whoever was stupid enough to try, and that’s on the best of days.
On the worst of days…it’s a different story entirely. You’ve become far too familiar with the dulled sound of skin meeting metal, that familiar snikt before you’re forced to stand between Logan and his next victim. The two of you have gotten kicked out of your fair share of establishments, but Logan apologizes in a way only he can—with his mouth against your cunt.
Every lick, every suck, every touch, an apology. Muttering into your pussy, worshipping it, his tongue against your clit his own personal prayer, the sound of your moans his reward for being so devout.
“Sorry for getting us in trouble doll—“
His palms smooth over your trembling flesh, rough and calloused, just the right amount of pressure to keep you grounded.
“Sorry for getting you banned from your favorite shop—“
His fingers leave divots in your thighs, pulling himself further against your mound. His nose bumps against your clit with each pass, and the feeling leaves you gasping for air.
“Sorry for being so protective—“
Again and again, his mouth brings you to heights you never thought possible.
“Sorry for being so rough, just can’t help myself.”
In more ways than one, he really can’t, can’t take the man out of the beast if he’s more beast than man. Can’t teach a feral dog to socialize, but you can teach it who his master is.
And boy, do you fucking teach him.
You give him the best lesson of your life whenever you praise him, spread your legs and pull his head deeper into your needy cunt, dig your nails into his scalp just the way he likes it and moan for him while your thighs shake and your pussy squirts against his taste buds.
“Good boy, Lo’—good fucking boy—“
If he had a tail, it’d be fucking wagging.
#robo writes#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#ahaha…I may have overdone this just a bit
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Masterpost
“But to the BatFam? That is just Some Guy. A random dude - if you will.”
“Don’t worry about it, I’m missing my spleen.”
“Oh cool, yeah, missing organs suck. I’m missing a kidney and part of my liver. Oh! And my gallbladder but that was more of a necessary evil, it was like, poisoning me or something.” Danny was so focused on applying pressure to his wound (and maybe being a bit too light headed) that he didn’t notice how silent his friend had gotten. Like-wise the comms had gone equally quiet as Gotham’s vigilante family realized that they knew very little about this kid.
It was concerning how quickly they all started to see him as a friend considering it was them as vigilantes he interacted with the most. Tim was the only one who saw him frequently when out of the suit because he was a regular at Danny’s day job. (He worked as a barista in the coffee shop Tim favored.) The others saw him occasionally but more often than not it was just in passing. Steph, Duke, and Dick had to stop themselves from approaching him on the street.
It was odd, one day he had just moved to Gotham, seeming to appear out of nowhere, and then the next he was a constant presence in their lives. Usually armed and ready with a concerning or odd quip, it had started with him being another victim of the city’s petty criminals and had snowballed from there.
Now it wasn’t like the bats saw Danny everyday, but it was expected that he would cross paths with at least three of them before the end of the week. They ran into him more often than any other Gothamite, including the criminals and rouges they fought.
At first the constant meetings by “coincidence” was suspicious. If he wasn’t the one being saved from a mugging, kidnapping, or city wide villain assault, then he was near by and trying to help.
(“Trying to help” usually meant drawing attention to himself so the original victim could escape. Once it had meant Danny armed with a baseball bat against four grown men. Bruce and Dick have tried to talk to him about putting himself in harms way but the kid is surprisingly elusive when he wants to be. Yet, even when avoiding Batman and his eldest, Danny could be found on the patrol route of another family member.)
But honestly? The guy seemed just as exhausted as they were of seeing each other. By the twelfth time in a month, Danny had accused them of stalking him.
The background check Bruce and Tim had run came back clean and he never seemed to be involved in the various criminal activities. He was just there, a weirdly unlucky bystander. So as far as Dick and the others could see, Danny was a completely normal dude. He just said strange things and wasn’t intimidated by them, he actually made it a point to be unhelpful sometimes. When trying to learn his name he gave them the run around for two months. (“I know about stranger danger. I don’t care how often you say you’re the ‘good guys.’ I’m not falling for it.”)
On one memorable occasion Danny had disappeared for a week and a half. When they started to assume the worse, he popped back up behind the counter at work. Tim had relaxed significantly when he entered the shop to Danny organizing pastries in the display case. Once he’d placed his order, the young CEO asked Danny if he’d been on vacation. To which Danny had just sighed and told Tim “I wish, but no I was called to court to handle some affairs I couldn’t get out of.” (After a check to see if Danny had gotten charged with something and coming back empty, Tim had concluded that it was an odd way to say he had had jury duty.)
Thinking about it now, outside a stray comment or two, Danny didn’t talk about himself or his life. They knew he didn’t have a good relationship with his parents, “they were much more goal oriented than that joke of a kidnapper, but I think drugs do that to a person.” (It was still unclear if he meant his parents were kidnappers themselves or on drugs.) They knew he had an older sister who would “kill me again if she finds out I was in another bank robbery.” They also knew he was, possibly, depressed after last week’s comment of “is it considered murder if you’re already dead but, like, still alive?” (Damian had saved him from a drug ring but after another “baby ninja” comment the young Robin had threatened to give Danny back to his would-be murderers.)
Dick knew Danny was a weird guy who never wanted to elaborate on the things he said. (Jason was still confused on what he meant by “rotted milk soul.”) That didn’t mean the comments themselves didn’t say a lot about him. And tonight’s comment, accompanied by the prominent and jagged autopsy scars, said more than Danny was probably willing to share.
Part one
#Basically the other side of Danny is just Some Guy.#batman#batfamily#jason todd#batboys#batman fandom#batman wayne family adventures#dick grayson#danny phantom#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp prompt#dc x dp crossover#dp dc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dc x dp#damian wayne#Tim drake#dcxdp#I didn’t actually mean to write this#but? like? enjoy I guess
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𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐥𝐲 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
↳ warnings: alastor being a bit egotistical
↳ song: si j'étais blanche—joséphine baker
↳ notes: got any ideas for stuff i should do next? reblogs are appreciated
masterlist | commissions | carrd
• It wasn’t your fault you’ve always had a messed up sleep schedule
• Even while living, nighttime had never been able to tame you. It was just your luck that the habit carried on into hell. Figures that the world wouldn’t give you a break even in death
• You weren’t exactly an insomniac, per se. It was quite the opposite in fact. Just a simple case of falling victim to spontaneous naps in the most random of places. Yet never at night
• Narcoleptic & nocturnal were the terms that your friends used to use for you. With grins, they’d compared you to an owl; always up at night wandering aimlessly. Sometimes for days on end you’d carry on doing this and that, only to curl into a ball the next day and remain that way
• The habit never was anything more than a nuisance until you’d started living at the hotel. The place was just so big, with so many places for you to lie down before the thought of your bedroom even crossed your mind
• Angel Dust was the first person to find you passed out. He had been strolling into the kitchen, looking for something to consume that wasn’t drugs for once, when he spied you hunched over the counter snoring softly
• In your hand was a wooden spoon covered in a creamy batter of some sort, a bowl beneath it with the same concoction. Almost as if you had been making something before passing out
• Briefly checking his phone, the spider confirmed that it was only two in the afternoon, and approached you with a sly smile
• You were promptly startled awake by a loud shout directly next to your ear
• “I’m sorry—“ Angel laughed wildly as you fumed, not sounding sorry at all. “—but you should have seen your face.” He clutched his stomach as he fell into another laughing fit
• “Hey! Watch it!”
• He ducked with a frown as you sent the spoon flying at his head, just barely missing the porn star’s styled hair
• Everyone quickly made their own discovery about your weird sleeping habits soon after. Each in their own embarrassing ways
• Vaggie witnessed you lying on the stairs looking positively drained one morning, and Charlie even found you face first on the bar counter while Husk wiped away at a cocktail glass
• “Too much to drink?” She asked the cat, lifting up one of your arms between her thumb and forefinger carefully, almost as if you’d wake if she pressed to hard
• Husk laughed to himself at the question, remembering how he had turned to make you a shot before coming back to the sight before him now
• “Not exactly.” He huffed
• Perhaps best example of just how bad your timing was came in the form of an impromptu staff meeting
• Alastor had called everyone— more like demanded them —into the main parlor for an announcement one day. A mere week after the kitchen incident with Angel, in fact
• With a flourish of shadowy magic and a twirl of his hands, the overlord presented some sort of home made commercial on the age old TV the place had, looking very amused with himself as he did so
• You tried to pay attention, you really did. But at one point the actors and stray blood splatters started to look like the back of your eyelids
• By the time it was over, Alastor was tapping his fingers along the top of the picture box rhythmically while everyone looked at him with awkward smiles
• But you? Well—
• “So!” Alastor cheered with a cheesy grin as he spun on his heel. The rest of the members in the room watched him awkwardly, not noticing that your head had hit the back of the couch at a rough angle. “What do you all thi— are they asleep.”
• Static bled into the demons voice at an alarming rate as you let out a half jolt at the shift in mood, falling off the couch with a yelp in your wake
• You took a moment to swipe at your face wildly before blanching at Alastor towering over you nervously
• “Uh, my bad?”
• Alastor’s smile strained itself so thin, you thought it would split his face in half
• “Glad to know I’m keeping you entertained.” He all but laughed happily. But the white knuckled grip on his microphone told you otherwise
• You recall Charlie telling you something about ignorance being one of Alastor’s least favorite things. Especially when it came to his little spectacles
• “Maybe we’ve had enough peer feedback for today—“ Vaggie cut in cautiously
• “I concur.” Came your quick agreement
• You made sure to avoid Alastor for a few days after that
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x y/n#alastor#alastor x reader#alastor x you#alastor x y/n#angel dust#angel dust x reader#angel dust x you#angel dust x y/n#husk#husk x reader#husk x you#husk x y/n#charlie#vaggie#x reader#headcanons
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Love & War (m)
warnings: vèry lóng, híghly 18+ thèmès, èxplïcït smüt/sèx, únprótèctèd sèx, chèátíng, górè, múrdèr, prègnáncy, lônlíness, èxplïcït víölèncè, blóód, yándèrè cháràctès, bördèrlínè cóffèè àddïctïön, dàrk jüngkóók.
pairing: yandere police officer jungkook x fem!Barista reader
genre: strictly 18+ killer fic, rated M, Gore, thriller and erotica
word count: 6,000
note. My fingers have been hurting so much these days because I’ve been dedicating a lot of time to writing this. I started this draft on October 14 and now I have finally finished it today and I wanted to publish this because I have worked hard on this so much I’ve done a lot of extensive research so please guys like it and re-blog it. This is worth a read I promise please please send feedback and let me know what you think because I really need it.
•••
This case in particular is brutal.
As Jungkook sits in his office space, he’s looking at the latest crime scene pictures. And they are brutal, the man’s throat is literally spilling out, tongue cut off.
There’s so much blood.
Seodaemun-gu is particularly cold, and he’s been working overtime, as an inspector he’s been pretty busy thanks to a psychotic serial killer who’s been targeting a lot of men lately
This is the 17th victim.
Jungkooks been trying to piece the puzzle together, he picks up the warm cup of coffee and gulps down another sip, his furrows his eyebrows, he knows that it’s just one person doing all of these killings.
The pattern of killing is too similar, the gore, the marks, the method.
There is a familiar drug found in every single one of the victims bodies.
“Fuck.” He curses as he drops the pictures on the table, he needs to catch the killer before it’s too late, it is too late anyways.
October isn’t so kind this year, it is harshly cold. And this case has his whole attention. “I’ll catch you, psycho.” He mutters under his breath.
He will catch the psycho before Halloween.
Jungkooks grip on his cup tightens. He will make this killer pay. Just as he’s staring at the pictures again, his phone rings.
He sighs, averting his gaze to his phone as he picks it up, a small smile playing on his face. “Hey baby!!!” He grins speaking into the phone.
He loves his girlfriend so much. She’s the only thing that is making him happy these days.
“Hey koo!” as she greets him back, he cannot stop smiling, “ahh so are we still on for tonight?” He asks slyly, she makes him so happy.
There is a silence for a few seconds, but he waits patiently for her response, Jungkook holds the phone up his ear, waiting.
“Oh… sorry baby but no, I’m kinda busy tonight. You know this assignment is keeping me up all night. I can’t I’m so sorry.”
His smile falters.
“U-Uh..”
This is the third time.
“Umm it’s okay.” he replies, playing it cool but honestly, he’s a little upset because she’s been doing everything but spending time with him and he’s the one trying to solve a fucking murder case.
“Don’t be upset koo… I swear I’ll make it up to you.” He sighs. “It’s okay baby. I…understand.” Jungkook knows there’s no point in arguing.
He just misses her.
After talking to her for a few minutes, he finally ends the call. It’s time he refocuses on the case.
What he should be focusing on right now is catching the killer
And not the fact that his girlfriend is literally ignoring him for the past days, he’s barely seen her face this month, it’s bothering him, but he cannot afford to be distracted right now.
There cannot be an 18th victim.
He won’t let it happen.
•••
It’s lonely
But at least now he gets to go to his favorite coffee shop and drink, coffee in peace while staring out at the view, honestly speaking the view isn’t that special but jungkook likes to have some free time to himself just so he can reconnect with the world.
he enters the coffee shop, the bells above jingle as the door opens, it’s not too crowded today which is a good thing because the less the crowd the more he can focus and think.
Only a handful of people who are drinking and waiting for their orders as he approaches his table. Jungkook sits down on it, taking the chair out.
He scans the area. He likes how peaceful it is here because his job is not peaceful or neither cute, he has just come back from seeing a gruesome murder scene and this is exactly the detox He needs right now.
“Hey!!! Mr Jeon?” his snap of his thoughts when the barista calls out his name, he turns to look ahead, and smiles seeing the familiar face.
“Hey Ms yn! How’s it going? I think I’m just gonna have the regular.” He tells, looking at you, and you nod, you’re a sweet girl.
You’ve been serving him coffee for the past year almost, “well got it! Maybe I should get you some brownie too; of course courtesy of me.” You laugh, “looks like you really could use some sweetness in your life since you work so hard”
He laughs a little, shaking his head. “yeah you’re right. It’s been quite bitter these days.” He mutters to himself almost.
You walk away. impatiently, he waits for his coffee.. He might have an addiction, but it’s OK. Caffeine is necessary when you’re a police officer.
Sometime later you come back with his order. And he looks at you, thanking you.. “thank you Ms yn. Appreciate you for putting up with me.” he jokes, you give him a kind smile, “oh Mr Jeon how about you Just call me yn?” You insist and he almost blushes.
“Ahhh sure sure I will but only if you call me by my first name too.” He waves his hand, picking up his coffee to take a sip, and the smell of the brownie just fills his nostrils and he hums in delight
“The brownie smells so good and this coffee is awesome. Thank you so much.”
You wink in return, which has his cheeks actually burning up
You’re bold and you’re confident and that he appreciates about you because maybe you like him a little and you don’t really make an effort to hide the fact
“Okay.. I’ll go now have fun” he watches as you go away.
And he can’t help but feel his heart flutter in his chest.
•••
A few days later, his same routine just goes on and on, but there is not a single point that he has been able to catch, which could help him actually lead to the killer
And his days are only getting worse. There’s an emptiness that he’s starting to feel. Honestly, he feels like a failure.
A failure of a boyfriend and a failure of an inspector.
Jungkook steps into his dimly lit apartment, shrugging off his rain-soaked jacket. The warmth of the place feels hollow, as if reflecting the emptiness creeping into his chest. He slumps onto the couch, running his hands through his damp hair. His mind is a mess, caught between the horrifying images of the latest crime scene, Mina’s growing distance, and the subtle comfort he finds in your quiet presence at the café.
He pulls out his phone and stares at Mina’s name in his contacts. Something in him snaps, and before he can overthink it, he presses “Call.”
It rings longer than it should.
“Hello?” Her voice is clipped, impatient.
“Mina. Can you come over?” he asks out of desperation because he so lonely, and he needs to feel her love and her warmth.
“It’s late, Jungkook. I’m busy.” he understands it. She’s been busy, but it’s been so long since he’s been with her physically and she keeps on being distant.
He’s starting to break, his face falls, and his voice hardens at her sudden coldness.
“Busy with what?” he demands, the sharpness in his voice surprising even himself. he gripped the phone tighter and waits for her response with a thumping heartbeat.
There’s a pause, long enough for unease to settle in his gut. “Work,” she finally says, but the word feels rehearsed, flat.
“Bullshit.” He stands, pacing the small living room. “You’re lying to me.” he knows that she’s lying. Does she really think that he’s that stupid?
“Excuse me?” Her tone hardens, defensive.
“You’ve been distant for weeks,” he says, his voice rising. “The late nights, the dodged questions, the way you look at me like I’m a stranger. If there’s something you’re hiding, Mina, I deserve to know.”
She exhales sharply, a sound halfway between frustration and guilt. “You’re paranoid, Jungkook. You’re always at work, always chasing some killer. Maybe the problem isn’t me—it’s you.”
“That’s not an answer,” he snaps. “You think I don’t notice the way you’re pulling away? The phone calls you don’t take around me? If you don’t want to be with me, just say it.”
Her silence cuts deeper than any words could.
“You’re impossible,” she finally says, her voice trembling with suppressed anger. “You think everything revolves around you and your job, but you don’t even see what’s right in front of you. Maybe I have been distant, Jungkook, but can you blame me? You’re so wrapped up in your case that there’s no room for anything—or anyone—else.”
He clenches his fists, his nails digging into his palms. “You’re deflecting. Just tell me the truth, Mina. Are you seeing someone else?”
Her sharp intake of breath tells him everything he needs to know.
“Mina,” he growls, his voice low and dangerous.
“I’m not doing this,” she says, and the line goes dead.
Jungkook stares at his phone, his breath coming in ragged bursts. The quiet of the apartment feels suffocating, pressing in on him from all sides. He throws his phone onto the couch and grabs his keys, his mind a whirlwind of anger, betrayal, and something he can’t quite name.
But for a fact, he knows that he’s lost Mina forever. And the realization dawns on him as he stares at his phone screen. He’s alone once again like he has been for a month.
But maybe this time, forever
And it doesn’t take him long to break down in his apartment. He’s so alone and maybe he will be forever. Why can nobody ever love him?
Is he not deserving of love?
•••
The coffee shop is dark except for the faint glow of a single lamp by the counter. You’re wiping down the tables, your movements unhurried, as if you have all the time in the world. The sight of you—calm, grounded—makes something in Jungkook loosen, just slightly.
You look up as he enters, the chime of the bell breaking the silence.
“Jungkook?” you say, surprised. “It’s late. What are you doing here?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, just walks over to the counter and leans against it. “I needed to get out of my head.”
You study him, noting the tension in his jaw, the shadows under his eyes. “Rough day?”
He laughs bitterly. “You could say that.”
The way you look at him, makes his heart flutter in an abnormal way, maybe it’s the loneliness that he’s making behave like this but you’re gaze actually drives him crazy
You hesitate for a moment before stepping around the counter, standing a little closer to him. “Want to talk about it?”
“No,” he says quickly, then softens. “I just… I don’t know. Everything feels like it’s falling apart.”
You nod, not pushing him for details. Instead, you reach for the bottle of whiskey you keep hidden behind the counter for nights like this. You pour him a glass and slide it across the table.
“Here,” you say. “On the house.”
He takes a sip, the burn in his throat a welcome distraction from the turmoil in his mind. “Thanks.”
You sit down beside him, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence. But you can feel his eyes on you, heavy and searching.
“You’re always here,” he says suddenly, his voice soft.
“Someone has to be,” you reply, your lips quirking into a small smile.
“You know Y/N? I’m so fucking alone. My girlfriend is probably cheating on me. She doesn’t care about me…. No one cares about me.” His voice breaks on the last sentence.
You look at him with pity and something deeper swimming in your gaze, but he doesn’t know how to pinpoint it, you urge him to continue so he does.
He chuckles, but it’s humorless. “It’s more than that. You don’t know what it means to me, Y/N. Just… knowing there’s someone who gives a damn.”
Your heart skips a beat, but you play it cool. “Well, you look like you could use someone in your corner.”
He turns to you then, his gaze intense, and for a moment, neither of you speaks. The air between you feels charged, electric
“Why do you care so much?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
You hesitate, your pulse racing. “Maybe I just like seeing you smile.”
You’re the first person who has ever said that to him, and in that moment, he realizes that your silence is the only silence that doesn’t feel suffocating.
You look at him with such a deep emotion that it makes him go crazy, what are you doing to him? Why do you care about him so much?
You’ve been there for him since day one. You’re so comforting so kind and so nonjudgmental.
You listen to him rant, Complain, but you don’t say anything every time.
The more he looks at you, the more his heart keeps on thumping, inside his chest and alcohol just rushes through his body, and suddenly his pants feel so achingly tight.
The silence between you both is charged with tension, a tension that makes shivers go down his spine, you’re looking at him in a way that has him hallucinating that you want to lure him in.
He just wants to drown in your embrace, feel you in a way that no one has ever, he just wants to bury himself to hilt inside of you so maybe he can feel wanted again, and maybe he will feel safe for once.
His breath hitches, and before either of you can think better of it, his lips crash into yours.
•••
The back room of the café becomes a blur of heat and desperation as you both stumble in while he’s busy, shoving his tongue on your throat. It’s not tender—it’s raw, messy, driven by an ache neither of you can name. He breaks the kiss after it feels like hours, and he dips his head low and you feel his hot wet lips on your neck, His hands are rough against your skin, his lips leaving trails of bruises along your neck.
“Jungkook,” you whisper, your voice breaking as his hands grip your hips. It feels so fucking good. The desperation and the need is driving you insane.
You can feel his muscular body, he’s so perfect. You have dreamed of this moment for the longest time. But you never really thought that it would come true.
But as he kisses your neck, his lips burn on your skin. And that makes you realize that this is your reality. You are finally getting to live your dream.
You moan out his name again breathlessly gripping on his shoulders so tightly as he attacks your neck, whispers of his name leave your mouth, you’re getting breathless, just by him kissing your skin.
That’s how much you want him.
He doesn’t respond with words, only pulls you closer, his movements frantic. It’s as though he’s trying to drown in you, to forget everything outside of this moment.
His scent is so exotic, he’s always smelled so good whenever he’s visited the café, his son is so stronger it surrounds the whole café and right now you’re so close to him. It’s getting you high.
You know that he’s drunk, he’s so fucking drunk and vulnerable, but you cannot bring yourself to stop him, especially not when he pushes your panties down, his lips hot on your collarbones.
How can you bring yourself to stop him when he’s suddenly licking his fingers, as he takes them out you, you stare at him, they’re glistening with his Saliva.
He’s so beautiful and so handsome, and the most sexiest man you’ve ever seen.
You can only encourage him, and you do that, when he finally starts to push his two digits inside of you, your hips buck up.
You’re so fucking wet it’s embarrassing.
He scissors them inside of you, curling them inside your gummy walls, hitting that spot that has you seeing stars, immediately and he’s barely even started
“AGGH…” you moan out loudly, He groans at the sound, sinking his teeth in your neck once again, he’s so needy right now, you feel his body temperature burning.
You’re burning up too.
Jungkook whispers in your ear, “take off my boxers.”
And you do, after that you start stroking his hard thick length, he’s so big, as you stare down at it, you gasp because it’s leaking already and it’s angry.
He’s been neglected for the longest time, you actually hate his girlfriend, but good for you. You get to feel him inside you like this.
He’s hungry for this. As you finally start to do the magic of your hands, he lets out a guttural moan, it’s so loud, and it rings in your ears.
you love the sounds he’s making right now. He sounds so hot almost like an animal in heat.
But he starts fucking your hand furiously, you lift his head up from your neck to look at him and you just want to keep him with you forever
He’s so beautiful.
He’s drooling, his eyes are closed as he feels the pleasure that you are giving him, the pleasure that he’s been denied for the longest time.
“T-Thank you so much for this because you have no idea how much I need this you have no idea how much I need you… yn- ngh… I’ve been dreaming about this… how about you… and you feel so much better than my imagination”
Jungkook cannot wait anymore though, just as he’s close, he wraps your legs around his waist and gently removes your hand, kisses you hard as he shoves his cock in your warm pussy.
“Let me feel your pussy, I need you, baby…” he begs, you grip his shoulders and kiss his cheek. He lets out a shuddering breath once your heat cages him in.
He starts moving his hips at a really fast pace, he’s jackhammering into you, Jungkooks moaning is echoing throughout the back room.
“NGHH mhmm AHHHG…. AHHH…”
The pleasure that you’re feeling right now is the most that you’ve ever felt in your life and you never knew that you could feel this good while having sex.
The sex with him is feeling so hot, so good and so fucking raw.
He’s so big you can see it bulging from inside of you, you gasp.
“Cum… please Cum inside me.”
You press desperate kisses on his neck, and on the hollow of his throat He’s so vocal about this. So hot. And then he lets out a desperate mewl as he cums inside your cunt.
It’s hot, thick and full as he fills you up to brim.
But it’s starts leaking out because it’s so much, you can feel it running down your thighs.
“You felt a-ah… so fuckin good, yn.”
When it’s over, the two of you lie tangled together on the worn couch, your breaths mingling in the quiet.
“I’m sorry,” he says suddenly, his voice hoarse. “I shouldn’t have—”
“Don’t,” you cut him off, resting a hand on his chest. “Don’t apologize.”
He looks at you, his eyes searching for something he can’t find.
“You’re not alone, Jungkook,” you say softly. “Not anymore.”
But as he drifts off to sleep, your words echo in his mind, and unease curls in his chest.
•••
The first rays of sunlight filter through the cracks in the blinds, casting faint streaks across the cramped backroom of the café. The room is quiet, save for the sound of Jungkook's breathing. He lies awake on the couch, staring at the ceiling, your head resting on his chest, your arm draped over him like a lifeline.
The memories of the night before play in his mind on an endless loop-your soft moans, the way your body had responded to his touch, how you had whispered his name like a prayer. He feels a pang of guilt, but not for what he did. He doesn't regret it. Not the way your warmth had pulled him from the cold void he'd been living in, not the way you made him forget the weight of the world for a few fleeting hours.
What eats at him is the realization that he used you-your body, your kindness, your feelings— for his own selfish needs. And yet, as much as the guilt gnaws at him, a darker truth lingers: it had felt so good. You had felt so good.
Your breathing changes, pulling him from his thoughts. You stir slightly, your fingers twitching against his chest before you lift your head to meet his gaze.
"Good morning," you say softly, your voice thick with sleep.
He swallows hard, unsure of what to say.
“Morning,” he replies, his voice quieter than he intends.
You sit up slowly, the blanket slipping from your shoulders as you adjust yourself on the edge of the couch. For a moment, neither of you speaks, the weight of what happened between you hanging in the air.
“Are you okay?” you ask finally, breaking the silence.
“I don't know,” he admits, running a hand through his disheveled hair.
You bite your lip, looking down at your lap. "Last night..."
“Wasn't supposed to happen,” he says, cutting you off.
You flinch slightly but force a small smile. “I know,” you murmur.
He sighs deeply, sitting up and leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “I don't regret it,” he says finally, his voice low.
Your head snaps up, your eyes wide with surprise.
“I don't regret being with you,” he continues, his tone softening. “But I regret... I regret that I used you. That I let my emotions... my loneliness take over. You didn't deserve that.”
You shake your head, reaching out to touch his arm. “Jungkook, you didn't use me. I wanted it too.”
He looks at you, his dark eyes filled with conflict.
“I know you did. But that doesn't make it right.”
You hold his gaze, your heart aching at the vulnerability in his expression. “It's not wrong either,” you whisper.
He exhales sharply, standing up and pulling on his jacket. “I need to think," he mutters. “I need to figure out what I'm doing.”
Jungkook walks through the quiet streets, the early morning chill biting at his skin. His mind is a storm of emotions-shame, guilt, longing. He knows he should be thinking about Mina, the case, about everything that's been spiraling out of control in his life. But all he can think about is you.
You, with your soft smile and kind eyes. You, who had welcomed him without judgment. You, who had given him a moment of solace in the chaos.
He doesn't regret being with you, but he regrets what it means. He regrets how easily you've slipped into the cracks of his carefully constructed walls.
And yet, even as he walks away, he knows he'll come back to you. He always does.
Meanwhile, you’re feeling the same… after he leaves you at the door as it shuts.
You sit on the couch long after Jungkook has gone, staring at the spot where he had been just minutes before. Your heart feels heavy, conflicted. Last night had been everything you'd ever wanted, but now it feels tainted by his guilt, his regret.
Still, you can't bring yourself to regret it. Not when it had felt so perfect, so right.
But as you move to the front of the café, preparing for the day ahead, you can't shake the feeling that something has shifted between you and Jungkook. And you're not sure if it's for better or worse.
But you do know that this was only the beginning and this is not gonna end ever and you don’t want to.
•••
A month goes by, he hasn’t visited the cafe after that night woth you, he’s started to get over Mina, The investigation starts to grow worse, the killer more mysterious than ever. Jungkook’s focus shifts entirely to the case, but the memory of that night with you lingers, a dangerous distraction. He avoids Mina entirely, his guilt toward her eclipsed by the tangled emotions he feels when he sees you.
It’s only a matter of time before everything comes crashing down.
•••
The night Jungkook slept with you still lingers in his mind, haunting him like a half-remembered dream, a moment of clarity and chaos all at once. He tells himself it was a mistake, that he was drunk, confused, and in need of something—someone—that wasn’t Mina. But he knows deep down, it was more than that. It was the kind of intimacy that made him feel human again, something he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Yet, when he wakes up the next morning, reality settles back into place. He tries to push you out of his thoughts as he makes his way to work, but every time he passes by the café, he finds himself looking for you, wondering if you’re there. The guilt gnaws at him, but the emptiness inside makes him think about you again, just for a moment.
What Jungkook doesn’t know, what he can’t see, is that the girl behind the counter, the quiet barista with the warm smile, has already made up her mind. You’ve already planned it out.
Mina is your problem now.
Mina never did anything wrong. She never even knew the darkness that lurked beneath your calm exterior. To her, you were just another face behind the counter, the one who always smiled, who always gave her the right change with a soft chuckle. She was just another customer. But that was before you realized she was still with Jungkook, and that was the last straw.
Mina knows about your crush on Jungkook because, on several occasions in the past, Jungkook had brought her with him when he visited the café. It wasn’t frequent, but enough for Mina to catch on to the subtle tension that simmered between you and him.
You hadn’t meant to make it obvious, but every time Jungkook walked into the café, your demeanor shifted. You’d become a little more flustered, your heart would race, and your eyes would light up, especially when he greeted you with that easy smile. It didn’t take much for someone like Mina, who was always looking for cracks in the façade, to notice.
The first time Jungkook brought her in, you did your best to be casual, to act as though you weren’t paying any special attention to him.
But Mina, watching from across the table, saw how you seemed a little more eager, a little more careful with every cup you made for him. She observed how your voice softened when you spoke to him, how your hands trembled just slightly as you handed him his order. It wasn’t hard for her to figure it out: there was something more than just friendship between you two, even if it was unspoken.
After that day, Mina started coming in more frequently when she knew Jungkook would be there.
She made a point of sitting at a table near the counter, watching the subtle interactions between you two, almost like a game. It gave her a sense of satisfaction—of control—to see how much you cared for him, how much you tried to hide it.
What really gave Mina the final piece of the puzzle was the day Jungkook brought her in again. This time, the way you interacted with him was different. You didn’t hide your feelings as well. You weren’t as guarded. Maybe you thought Jungkook had stopped noticing, that you could just be yourself around him without it being awkward, but Mina saw through it.
She watched you smile at him a little too brightly, watched how your voice softened when you said his name.
That’s when she knew. She had been right all along.
From that point forward, Mina began to play with this knowledge, poking at you, dropping little comments here and there about Jungkook. It wasn’t out of genuine interest in your well-being.
No, Mina was the type who thrived on power, on knowing things others didn’t. She knew you had feelings for Jungkook, and she wasn’t above using that against you.
Mina wasn’t a regular customer, but she made it a point to come by whenever she knew Jungkook would be there. She’d sit back, watch, and wait for you to slip up—because she knew it wouldn’t be long before you showed just how much you cared.
You watch her from the back of the café, your fingers tightening around the edge of the counter as she orders another coffee, laughs too loudly at something a friend says, her smile a little too bright.
You’re not the type to go unnoticed, not anymore. You’ve made sure of it. But this girl? She’s everything you’re not. Beautiful, untainted. Her life is easy—untainted by secrets or shame. But that life is a lie. And she doesn’t deserve it.
The tension builds like a slow-burning fuse as the afternoon wears on. Your hand shakes as you wipe down the counter, the hum of the coffee machine loud in your ears.
Mina doesn’t know how much you hate her. Doesn’t know that she’s the one thing standing between you and what you’ve convinced yourself is yours. Jungkook.
The thought of him with her, the way he always turns to her in the café, makes your stomach twist. You wish she’d just disappear. So, that’s exactly what you’ll do.
•••
The café is quiet as you lock up for the night.
The faint hum of the city lingers in the distance, but it doesn't reach your small sanctuary.
It's been a month since the night with Jungkook, and though he hasn't been back to the café in days, the memory of him is enough to send a shiver through your body.
You've noticed changes-small ones at first. A nauseous unease in the mornings, a fatigue that you can't shake. Tonight, though, you can't ignore the obvious anymore. Your period is late
far too late.
When you get home, you head straight for the drawer where you hid the pregnancy test. It had been an impulsive purchase a few days ago, something you hadn't wanted to face until you
absolutely had to.
The bathroom feels impossibly quiet as you take the test, sitting on the edge of the tub and waiting for the results. Seconds stretch into an eternity. When the lines appear, bold and unmistakable, the air leaves your lungs.
Your mind races. The weight of the word sinks into your chest. It's him. Jungkook. That night.
The night when everything felt like it could finally belong to you. But now, this?
Panic bubbles inside you, but it's swallowed by something darker, more visceral.
Mina's face flashes in your mind, and it's as if the pregnancy test has turned her shadow into a living, breathing entity. She's always there, always hovering around the edges of your thoughts, a reminder of what you'll never truly have.
She broke up with Jungkook that night. You've pieced that much together. She left him, but her presence still looms over you.
It's her fault you feel this way. Her fault that Jungkook can't be entirely yours.
Before you realize it, you're out the door again, the pregnancy test left abandoned on the counter. The idea takes root in your mind with terrifying clarity.
Mina's address isn't hard to find. She used to post pictures from home-soft, curated glimpses of her perfect life.
The city streets blur as you drive. Your fingers tighten on the wheel as adrenaline floods your veins.
When you pull up to her house, the world feels unnervingly still. The house is modest but exudes her curated style, clean and pristine. A pang of rage surges through you.
You knock softly at first. When there's no response, you knock louder, your fist trembling against the wood. Finally, the door opens.
Mina stands there in a loose sweatshirt and leggings, her hair tied back, and her expression instantly hardens when she sees you.
“What are you doing here?” she says sharply, her voice cutting through the air.
You don't answer. You push past her, stepping into her living room without waiting for an invitation. She whirls around, glaring at you.
“Excuse me?” Mina snaps, her hands on her hips. "You can't just barge in here-"
But you're not listening. Your focus sharpens as you glance around the room, taking in the perfection of it all. Everything she's built, everything she's taken from you without even knowing it.
“You ruined him,” you say suddenly, your voice low and trembling.
Mina freezes, her brows furrowing. “What are you talking about?”
“You don't deserve him,” you continue, stepping closer. The words spill out, raw and jagged. You never did. You threw him away.”
Mina's eyes widen, and for the first time, there's a flicker of unease in her expression. “Are you insane?” she says, backing up slightly. “This has nothing to do with you.”
But it does. It has everything to do with you.
The knife is in your pocket, cold and heavy against your palm as you pull it out. Mina's eyes go wide, and she lets out a sharp gasp.
“Y/N, stop. What are vou doing?” she says, her voice trembling now, you see fear in her eyes, and that is so satisfying
“I'm taking back what's mine,” you whisper, stepping forward.
Mina screams as you lunge, but she's fast. Her nails rake across your arm as she tries to push you away, drawing blood. The knife slips from your grasp briefly, clattering to the floor, and the two of you struggle, crashing into the coffee table.
She fights harder than you expected. Her fists hit your sides, her nails digging into your skin.
But your rage is stronger, a blinding force that drives you forward.
Finally, you grab the knife again, plunging it into her chest. The scream chokes in her throat, her hands flailing weakly as you press the blade deeper.
The fight leaves her body, her eyes glazing over as she crumples to the floor.
You stand there, panting, your body trembling with adrenaline. Blood pools around her, staining the pristine floor, and it's then you notice the streaks of red on yor wn arms.
Her nails. She scratched you.
Your breath quickens as the reality sets in. You grab a dishcloth from the kitchen, wrapping it around your arm to staunch the bleeding.
You leave quickly, your mind racing. The blood you've left behind is a risk, but it's done now.
She's gone.
As you drive away, the silence in the car feels deafening. You glance at your bandaged arm, your chest heaving with a mix of fear and exhilaration.
It's over. She's gone.
But the faint, nagging thought of the blood you've left behind lingers in the back of your mind, a seed of doubt that you can't shake.
•••
The next day, Jungkook’s phone rings with the news. Mina’s body is found in at her home reported by the neighbors, discarded like a broken toy. The details of her murder are grisly—so much blood, so many signs of a struggle. But there’s something more. Something that gnaws at him,
He doesn’t know it yet, And Jungkook has no idea how close he is to the one thing he’s been hunting.
As he visits the scene of the crime, his heart heavy with guilt over his own sins, the truth starts to swirl around him, each clue pulling him closer to you. But you are always just one step ahead.
And you’re not finished yet.
•••
Jungkook stands at the edge of the crime scene, Mina’s home. Familiar home, his mind racing as he watches the forensic team finish their work. Mina’s body has been taken away, but something about the scene feels unfinished—unnerving. As the team packs up, the lingering sense of wrongness creeps into his chest.
He takes a few more steps into the room, his eyes scanning every inch.
The silence is heavy, thick with the smell of blood, and something else, something he can’t quite place. He feels like he’s being watched even though he’s the only one left. His gut instinct tells him there’s more to find, something hidden beneath the surface.
“Detective Jeon,” a voice calls out, pulling him from his thoughts. He turns to see Officer Lee, the junior detective, holding a small evidence bag.
“What is it?” Jungkook asks, his voice tight with impatience.
“Sir,” Lee continues, stepping closer. “We found something odd in the kitchen area, near the counter. It’s fresh blood, but it doesn’t match the scene at all. It’s… different.”
Jungkook raises an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. “What do you mean, different?”
Lee’s face shifts, his expression nervous. “It’s not the same consistency as the blood we’ve been seeing from the victims. It seems… newer, almost as if it wasn’t part of the original violence.”
Jungkook’s heart skips a beat. The blood. It’s almost like the killer made a mistake. He follows Lee to the kitchen, where they find the dark stain on the floor. It’s small but unmistakable, a sharp contrast against the faded red of the rest of the scene.
He kneels down, his gloved fingers brushing the edges of the stain. The blood is darker than what they’ve seen from the victim, almost as though it’s been there for some time—but that doesn’t make sense. He knew Mina was killed just hours ago.
“Is this from the victim?” Jungkook asks, still focused on the stain.
“We don’t think so,” Lee replies, his tone uncertain. “It’s not consistent with the rest of the scene.”
Jungkook’s eyes narrow. “It looks fresh.”
His instincts kick in. Something is off, and he knows it’s not just the stain. His gaze lingers on the blood. He needs to know more. If this is part of the same pattern, then they’re dealing with something entirely different.
“Send it to forensics,” he orders. “Get it tested immediately. I need to know what we’re dealing with.”
Hours pass before Jungkook finds himself in the sterile white of the forensics lab, waiting as the technician works quickly to process the blood sample they’ve retrieved from the crime scene.
He stands by, his mind on edge, feeling the pull of the unknown tightening its grip. The room is quiet, save for the hum of machinery and the faint clicking of keyboards as the technician runs the test.
Finally, the technician hands Jungkook a printed report. Jungkook takes it with a calmness he doesn’t feel, his fingers trembling ever so slightly as he scans the document.
The results are like a slap in the face.
The blood—this blood—belongs to a woman.
His chest tightens as he rereads the details. But it’s not just any woman. The test shows the presence of hormone levels consistent with early pregnancy.
A pregnant woman.
The words blur before his eyes. His mind struggles to make sense of it. Pregnant? How could it be?
This isn’t just some random woman who happened to get involved in the case. This is a pregnant woman. The kind of detail that changes everything.
He stares at the report in stunned silence. Mina’s murder doesn’t fit with any of the previous patterns, but this… this is a whole new level of complexity. And, despite his growing confusion, Jungkook can’t shake the nagging thought that the killer might be someone unexpected—someone who’s been hiding in plain sight.
Jungkook’s mind races as he pieces everything together. The fact that the blood belongs to a pregnant woman is huge. It feels like a lead that could take him in an entirely new direction, but there’s something else gnawing at him. A suspicion he can’t quite shake.
It’s the note he found on Mina’s body. The strange connection between the killings. Every victim has had a twisted background, all male, all with histories of violence or crime. But Mina… she was an exception. A woman. And she wasn’t involved in the same kind of criminal activity.
His gut is telling him something isn’t right. He’s seen this before—when his intuition is pushing him toward an answer, even when he doesn’t have all the pieces. And now, with this new revelation about the blood, that nagging feeling is only growing stronger.
Could the killer be a woman? Could the killer be pregnant? The thought unsettles him, but it makes sense. Perhaps this is the killer’s twist—targeting those who have wronged others, who’ve hurt people in the most vicious ways, while hiding behind a carefully crafted disguise.
As he stands there, staring at the test results, a chilling realization slowly begins to creep in. He hasn’t even begun to connect the dots. He hasn’t yet put it all together.
And the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes the one thing that’s been staring him in the face all along: someone close to him could be hiding this terrible secret.
But he doesn’t know who that is yet.
The blood. The pregnancy. The mysterious nature of Mina’s death—everything points to a killer who’s been hidden from view. Someone who’s not just playing a part in this sick game but is actively controlling the strings.
Jungkook takes one last look at the report in his hand. The piece of paper seems to burn with the weight of its revelation.
“Pregnant,” he mutters under his breath, the word tasting bitter in his mouth. “Who could it be?”
Jungkook’s thoughts are muddled. He hasn’t even considered the possibility that someone he knows could be involved. But the facts keep leading him in that direction.
With every passing second, the answer feels closer, yet farther away. All Jungkook knows for certain is that this case is far more complicated than he ever imagined.
And the killer is closer than he thinks.
•••
That night? he decides to visit his favorite coffee place again
The café is dimly lit, the warm golden glow of the overhead lights casting long shadows across the empty tables. It’s late—well past closing time for most places—but you’re still here. You’ve started staying later than usual, lingering in the quiet of your sanctuary, unable to go home to the lingering guilt of what you’ve done.
You’re wiping down the counter when the bell above the door chimes. The sound startles you, breaking through the silence. When you look up, it’s him.
Jungkook.
He’s standing in the doorway, his hair slightly disheveled, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. It’s been a month since that night, and he hasn’t been back since. Seeing him now feels like a punch to the chest, and for a moment, you can’t breathe.
“Jungkook,” you say softly, your voice barely audible. “You’re here again after a long time..”
He offers a small, tired smile as he steps inside, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. “Hey,” he says, his voice low and gravelly. “I know it’s late… but are you still making coffee?”
You nod quickly, trying to push down the rising emotions threatening to choke you. “Of course. For you? Always.”
He sits at his usual spot near the counter, leaning back in the chair as he watches you move around the machine. The silence between you is thick, weighted with everything unsaid.
As you hand him the cup, his fingers brush against yours. The contact is brief but electric, sending a shiver up your spine. He takes a sip, his eyes closing as he lets out a soft sigh.
“This is exactly what I needed,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you.
You can’t hold it in anymore. The words burst from your lips before you can stop them. “I need to tell you something.”
He looks up at you, his brows furrowing slightly. “What is it?”
Your hands tremble as you grip the counter for support. You’ve been rehearsing this in your head for days, but now, with him sitting there, the reality of it feels overwhelming.
“I’m… I’m pregnant,” you say finally, your voice barely above a whisper.
The words hang in the air, and for a moment, his expression is unreadable. He sets the cup down slowly, staring at you like he’s trying to piece together what you just said.
“What?” he says finally, his voice low and filled with disbelief.
You swallow hard, nodding. “It’s yours, Jungkook. From that night.”
His breath hitches, and he leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. “Pregnant,” he repeats, almost to himself. The weight of the revelation sinks in, his eyes flicking to your stomach before meeting your gaze again.
“That’s… that’s a lot to process,” he says finally, his tone careful.
“But.. promise that I won’t abandon you… I will take full responsibility.. don’t worry… I’m so sorry”
You’re about to say something—anything to break the tension—when his gaze drops to your arm. His brows knit together as he notices the faint, raw scratches peeking out from beneath your sleeve.
“What happened to your arm?” he asks, his tone shifting, more alert now.
Your heart skips a beat, panic rising in your chest. You pull your sleeve down instinctively, hiding the marks. “It’s nothing,” you say quickly, too quickly.
He doesn’t look convinced. His eyes narrow slightly as he studies you. “Those look fresh,” he says, his voice sharp. “Did someone hurt you?”
“No,” you say firmly, forcing a laugh. “I’m just clumsy, that’s all.”
Jungkook doesn’t respond immediately. He just watches you, his gaze searching, like he’s trying to read the truth in your expression.
“Y/N,” he says finally, his voice soft but insistent. “If something’s going on, you need to tell me.”
You shake your head, plastering on a smile that feels more like a mask. “It’s nothing, really. You don’t have to worry.”
But he doesn’t look convinced. His jaw tightens, and he leans forward slightly, his fingers drumming against the edge of the table.
“Are you sure?” he asks, his voice low.
You nod quickly, avoiding his gaze. “I promise. Everything’s fine.”
He doesn’t press further, but the tension in the air is palpable. You can feel his eyes on you as you turn away, pretending to busy yourself with cleaning.
The rest of the conversation is stilted, awkward. He finishes his coffee quickly, his movements stiff and deliberate.
“I should go,” he says finally, standing up and sliding the cup toward you. “Thanks for the coffee.”
You nod, forcing a smile as you watch him leave. The door swings shut behind him, and the silence that follows is deafening.
You lean against the counter, your legs trembling beneath you. The scratches on your arm burn as if in reminder. You knew this moment would come, but now that it has, you feel the weight of everything crashing down around you.
He doesn’t suspect you—not yet. But the way he looked at you, the questions he asked… it’s only a matter of time.
•••
Jungkook sits at his desk in the dimly lit precinct, the case file for Mina’s murder spread out before him. His mind is a storm, every detail looping back to the one piece of evidence he can’t shake—the fresh blood at the crime scene, identified as belonging to a pregnant woman.
He had brushed it off at first, thinking maybe it was some unknown accomplice or a bizarre twist in the killer’s pattern. But now, after his late-night visit to the café, everything feels like it’s coming together in ways he wishes it wouldn’t.
His hands clench into fists as he remembers Y/N’s confession.
And then there were the scratches.
They’d looked raw, fresh—exactly like the kind of defensive wounds a victim might leave behind. He tries to dismiss the thought. It’s Y/N, he tells himself. Sweet, shy Y/N, who wouldn’t hurt a fly. But the evidence won’t let him go.
The blood. The scratches. Her sudden nervousness, the way she pulled her sleeve down, the way she avoided his eyes when he asked her about it.
Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He doesn’t want to believe it—doesn’t even want to entertain the thought. But as an inspector, he knows he can’t ignore the signs.
He flips through the photos from the crime scene, his eyes lingering on the smear of blood leading away from Mina’s body. The forensic team had confirmed it didn’t belong to Mina, and it wasn’t old enough to have been left by anyone else.
It had to be the killer’s.
He leans back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. His mind races with conflicting thoughts—his duty to the case, his growing feelings for Y/N, and the sickening possibility that they might be connected in ways he can’t yet comprehend.
“Jeon,” his partner calls from across the room, breaking his train of thought. “Anything new?”
Jungkook shakes his head, snapping the file shut. “No,” he lies. “Still piecing it together.”
But inside, he knows he can’t ignore this.
The next night, Jungkook finds himself back at the café. It’s late again, and the streets are quiet, save for the occasional hum of a passing car. He tells himself he’s just here for coffee, to clear his head. But deep down, he knows that’s not true.
Y/N is behind the counter, her movements slower than usual, as if weighed down by something unseen. She startles when she sees him walk in, her eyes wide, but she quickly masks it with a smile.
“Back again?” she asks, her voice trembling slightly.
He nods, offering a small smile of his own. “Couldn’t stay away. You make the best coffee, remember?”
She laughs softly, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. He watches her closely as she moves, noticing the way she avoids his gaze, the way she keeps her sleeves tugged down over her wrists.
When she sets the cup in front of him, he doesn’t drink right away. Instead, he leans forward, resting his elbows on the counter.
“Y/N,” he says softly, his voice steady but probing.
She looks up at him, her smile faltering. “Yeah?”
“You never told me how you got those scratches,” he says, his tone casual but his eyes sharp.
Her breath catches, and he sees the flicker of panic in her expression before she quickly masks it. “I told you,” she says lightly. “I’m clumsy.”
“Clumsy enough to leave marks like that?” he presses, his gaze unrelenting.
Her hands tremble slightly as she picks up a cloth and starts wiping down the counter. “Why are you asking?” she says, her tone defensive.
He leans back, his jaw tightening. “Just curious. You know, with everything going on… people getting hurt. Makes me worry.”
She doesn’t respond, her focus fixed on the counter. The tension between them is thick, the silence stretching uncomfortably.
“I’m fine,” she says finally, her voice barely above a whisper.
But Jungkook isn’t convinced. Every instinct in him is screaming that something is wrong, that she’s hiding something. And yet, despite everything, a part of him doesn’t want to believe it.
“Okay,” he says finally, his tone softening. “If you say so.”
But as he leaves the café that night, the weight of his suspicions feels heavier than ever. The blood, the scratches, her nervousness—it all lines up too perfectly to ignore.
Jungkook walks slowly back to his car, his mind swirling with thoughts he doesn’t want to entertain. He stops just short of the driver’s seat, leaning against the door and staring at the dark street ahead.
The Y/N he knows—the one he’s been drawn to, the one who seemed so kind, so unassuming—couldn’t possibly be capable of this. Could she?
He slams his fist lightly against the roof of the car, frustration boiling under his skin. He doesn’t want to doubt her. But the evidence doesn’t lie.
That same night, Jungkook decides to dive deeper into the case. He returns to the precinct and retrieves the forensic report on the blood found at Mina’s home. He’s read it before, but now, with fresh eyes, he scans the details again.
The report confirms it: the blood belongs to a pregnant woman. The realization sends a chill down his spine.
Jungkook rubs a hand over his face, exhaustion creeping in as he tries to piece it all together. The killer had left no other trace—no prints, no DNA—just this blood. It was careless, uncharacteristic of someone who had been so meticulous with the other murders.
Why now? he wonders.
The connection feels tenuous at best, but the scratches on Y/N’s arm flash in his mind again, and he can’t ignore the unease building in his chest.
“Jeon,” his partner calls from his desk, interrupting his thoughts. “You’re still here? Go home, man. You’ve been at this for weeks.”
Jungkook forces a nod, shutting the file and grabbing his coat. “Yeah, I’m going,” he mutters.
But he doesn’t go home.
Instead, he drives back to Mina’s house, parking a short distance away and stepping out into the cold night. The crime scene has long since been cleared, but he needs to see it again, needs to feel it.
The house looms dark and silent, a grim reminder of what had happened within its walls. He steps closer, his boots crunching against the gravel as he shines his flashlight across the ground.
And then he sees it—a faint stain on the walkway leading away from the house.
His heart pounds as he kneels down, pulling on gloves and carefully swabbing the dried blood. It’s faint but fresh enough to have gone unnoticed during the initial sweep.
He stands, staring at the swab in his hand. It could be nothing, a stray smear left behind by someone from the forensics team. But it could also be something.
Someone.
As he slips the evidence into a bag, his mind circles back to Y/N. The scratches. Her sudden announcement. The way she seemed so on edge, so unlike herself.
The thought makes his stomach twist painfully. He doesn’t want to believe it, but the pieces are falling into place, and the picture they’re forming is one he can’t ignore.
He gets back into his car, gripping the steering wheel tightly. His next steps are clear: have the blood tested again, cross-reference it, and get answers.
But for now, he sits in the dark, staring out at the empty street,
Caught between his duty as an inspector and the growing fear that the woman he’s falling for might be the one he’s been chasing all along.
•••
It’s been days since Jungkook swabbed the blood at Mina’s crime scene. Days of sleepless nights, staring at reports, running DNA tests, and trying to ignore the tightening noose of suspicion around Y/N.
The results came back that morning. The blood is a match. A match for the mysterious pregnant killer. A match for Y/N, You.
The words on the report burn into his mind, but he can’t bring himself to process them fully. Instead, he spends hours driving aimlessly through Seodaemun-gu, circling back to the café before stopping outside Y/N’s small apartment.
He’s not sure what he’s going to say, or do. The woman he’s fallen for—who is carrying his child—has killed at least eighteen people, including Mina. But the thought of turning you in feels like a betrayal he’s incapable of.
Jungkook climbs the steps to your door, his heart pounding so hard he’s sure you’ll hear it the moment he knocks.
The door opens almost immediately, and Y/N’s face lights up in surprise. “Jungkook,” you say softly, but there’s a tension in your voice, as if you’ve been expecting this moment.
He steps inside without asking, closing the door behind him. His eyes scan the room, searching for something—anything that might confirm what he already knows.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” you say, your voice low. You move to the small kitchen, your movements stiff.
“Y/N,” he says, his voice calm but firm. “We need to talk.”
You freeze, your back to him, her hand resting on the counter. “About what?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, instead stepping closer. “You already know what.”
Y/N turns to face him, Your expression guarded. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jungkook.”
“Don’t,” he says, his tone sharper than he intends. He exhales slowly, trying to keep his emotions in check. “I know, Y/N. About Mina. About all of it.”
Your face pales, and for a moment, you doesn’t respond. Then you cross your arms, your gaze steady but wary. “You’re mistaken,” you say evenly.
“I’m not,” he replies. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out the forensic report, dropping it onto the table. “This is your blood. At Mina’s house. You were there.”
Y/N’s breath catches, and you looks down at the report, your hands trembling. “It’s not what you think,” you whisper,
“Then tell me what it is!” His voice rises, the frustration and desperation spilling out. “Because the evidence says you killed her, Y/N. It says you’ve killed all of them.”
She doesn’t deny it. Instead, she steps back, her hands gripping the edge of the counter as if to steady herself. “I did it,” she says quietly, her voice breaking. “But they deserved it, Jungkook. Every single one of them.”
He stares at her, the weight of her confession hitting him like a freight train. “Mina didn’t deserve it,” he says, his voice hollow.
Her eyes fill with tears, and she shakes her head. “She broke you, Jungkook. She hurt you. And I couldn’t—”
“That wasn’t your decision to make!” he shouts, his voice cracking with emotion. “You had no right!”
Silence falls between them, heavy and suffocating. Y/N’s tears spill over, but she doesn’t move, doesn’t try to defend herself further.
Jungkook rubs a hand over his face, his thoughts spiraling. He knows what he should do—what his duty demands. But when he looks at her, at the woman carrying his child, he feels nothing but agony.
“I’m pregnant,” she says suddenly, her voice trembling.
“I know,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
“SERIOUSLY YN What the fuck have you done? I fell in love with a psychotic killer. FUCK!”
She flinches at his tone, her tears falling harder. “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she says, her voice cracking. “I just, I couldn’t let them keep hurting people. I couldn’t let her keep hurting you.”
Jungkook closes his eyes, her words tearing through him. When he finally looks at her again, his expression is unreadable. “Do you understand what you’ve done?” he asks, his voice quiet but laced with pain.
“Yes,” she whispers.
“You’ve destroyed everything,” he says, his voice breaking.
She sobs, collapsing into a chair. “I didn’t mean to destroy you, Jungkook. I—”
“You didn’t destroy me,” he cuts her off, his tone icy. “You destroyed us.”
The room falls silent again, the weight of his words suffocating them both.
Finally, he speaks, his voice hollow. “I can’t turn you in, Y/N. I should, but I can’t. Because I—” He stops himself, shaking his head as if to dispel the thought. “But I need you to know that what you’ve done… it’s unforgivable.”
She looks up at him, her tear-streaked face full of anguish. “Then what happens now?”
Jungkook stares at her for a long moment, his jaw clenched, his hands trembling. “I don’t know,” he says finally, his voice barely audible. “I don’t know.”
And with that, he turns and walks out, leaving her alone with her guilt and the devastating weight of what she’s done.
•••
He takes a lot of Days to think about what he’s gonna do next, the truth is that he’s fallen too deeply in love with you to turn you in especially since he found out that you’re pregnant and as fucked up as it sounds, but the way you confessed to him that you killed Mina because she had hurt him,
It switched something inside him.. no one has ever gone that far for him.
You’re expecting his child
He has to do something to save you. He cannot turn you in no matter what.
So he decides to do something, a week later.
Jungkook sits alone in his car, parked a block away from the station. The stack of case files sits on the passenger seat, the details of eighteen brutal murders outlined in gruesome detail. At the top of the stack is Mina’s file.
The weight of what he’s about to do crushes his chest, but he’s made his decision.
If you go down, you take his child with you. You take him with you.
He exhales sharply, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. He’s always been a by-the-book cop, but the moment he fell for Y/N, that part of him started to crumble. Now, he’s about to destroy what’s left of it.
He enters the station with confidence and a mask.
The precinct buzzes with energy as Jungkook walks in, the familiar hum of chatter and clacking keyboards filling the air. His partner, Detective Choi, greets him with a nod.
“Got something for me, Jeon?” Choi asks, leaning back in his chair.
Jungkook sets the files down on his desk, forcing a calm expression. “Yeah,” he says. “I’ve been looking into a lead.”
Choi raises an eyebrow. “A lead? We’ve been spinning our wheels on this for months. What kind of lead?”
Jungkook opens Mina’s file, pulling out the report he fabricated the night before. He had spent hours doctoring evidence, crafting a story that would absolve Y/N of suspicion.
“This,” he says, handing the report to Choi.
Choi scans the document, his expression shifting from skepticism to curiosity. “A drug connection?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook lies smoothly. “I traced the source of the drug found in all the victims to a trafficking ring operating out of Incheon. It’s messy, but I think one of their enforcers is responsible for the killings.”
Choi frowns, flipping through the pages. “An enforcer who kills eighteen people, including Mina, and just disappears?”
“That’s the thing,” Jungkook says, leaning in. “I think they’ve already been eliminated. Internal cleaning. It explains why the killings stopped after Mina’s case.”
It’s a bold lie, but Jungkook delivers it with conviction, weaving in just enough plausible details to make it stick. He knows Choi is sharp, but he also knows his partner is tired of this case. They all are.
Choi nods slowly, handing the report back. “It’s a stretch, but it tracks. You’re saying we close this case on the assumption the killer’s dead?”
Jungkook shrugs, feigning indifference. “Unless you’ve got a better lead, I don’t see another option. The evidence lines up. It’s messy, but it fits.”
Choi exhales heavily, rubbing his temples. “Fine. I’ll run it by the chief.”
•••
The reaction is mixed. Some detectives are relieved to put the case behind them, satisfied with Jungkook’s explanation. Others grumble about loose ends and unanswered questions, but no one presses too hard.
“Good work, Jeon,” the chief says, clapping him on the shoulder. “You’ve been on this for months. Go home. Get some rest.”
Jungkook forces a smile, nodding. “Thanks, chief.”
As he walks out of the precinct, he feels the weight of his actions settle over him. He’s betrayed his badge, his oath, and every victim in this case.
But he’s saved you.
But there’s still a lot of loose ends that he needs to tie up, especially to convince his department that the pregnant woman was a pawn.
He needs to do something really convincing, and soon because time is running out.
•••
After a lot of days later, you’re almost now almost two pregnant, Jungkook hasn’t visited you after that confrontation and you think that maybe he’s abandoned you and maybe he’s gonna arrest you but you’re ready to pay for your sins.
You know what you were getting into when you decided to do this and you don’t regret killing any one of them.
Especially not Mina
Only if you had any idea… about what is happening around you…
 The apartment is quiet when Jungkook arrives. The air feels thick with tension, the kind that comes from unsaid words, from everything that’s been building up for weeks, months even.
He’s been here before, countless times, but tonight feels different. It’s as if the weight of everything that’s happened has finally caught up to him. The lies. The murder. The twisted love you’ve both been hiding from.
You’re sitting at the kitchen table when he walks in, a cup of cold coffee in front of you, untouched. The dim light casts long shadows across your face,
making you look almost ethereal, but there’s a darkness in your eyes that he hasn’t seen before. He doesn’t know whether it’s the guilt or the truth that lingers between you both, but it’s there. It’s palpable.
You don’t stand up when he enters. You don’t even look at him at first. Instead, your fingers trace the rim of the cup absentmindedly, like you’re lost in thought, deciding what to say. Or maybe deciding if you should say anything at all.
“You’re here,” you say finally, your voice quiet, almost resigned. “I was wondering when you’d come.”
Jungkook closes the door behind him, his breath heavy. The sight of you is almost too much to bear.
He feels the pull, the urgency of everything that’s been building up since that night at the café. But there’s something else too. Something darker. The guilt. The secret he’s been keeping. The knowledge that he’s closing his eyes to the truth.
“I had to,” he replies, his voice hoarse. His eyes move to you, scanning your face, trying to find the woman he once thought he understood, the one who wasn’t a murderer. But now, nothing seems as simple as it once did.
You finally look up, your eyes meeting his, and for a brief moment, he sees it. The crack in your facade. The vulnerability that you’ve been hiding. But it’s fleeting. Quickly masked by that cold, calculating expression he’s learned to fear.
“You did what you had to?” you echo, a bitter smile tugging at your lips. “Funny. I didn’t know I was something you had to protect.”
Your stomach twists, guilt washing over you as you feel the weight of your words. The truth that he’s been avoiding hits you like a punch to the gut.
“I didn’t want to…,” he starts, his words faltering. “I didn’t want any of this. But I couldn’t let you go. Not after everything.”
You smile, but it’s not a smile at all. It’s a mask. A shield you’ve put up, but he sees through it. Just like he’s starting to see through everything you’ve done.
“Why didn’t you let me go, Jungkook?” you ask, standing slowly, your eyes never leaving his. You take a step toward him, the space between you narrowing with every heartbeat. “Because of your guilt? Or because you want me? Because you want us?”
Jungkook feels the heat rising in his chest, his body tense, his hands balled into fists at his sides. He wants to deny it, wants to tell you that it’s not like that, but the truth is too raw to ignore. He’s in too deep. He’s in love with you.
“I…” he hesitates, struggling with the words that seem impossible to say. “I don’t know what to believe anymore, Y/N. But I want you. More than anything.”
The words hang in the air between you both, thick with tension. You step closer, the space between you vanishing entirely. Your breath is warm against his skin as you raise a hand to his chest, tracing a line down to the hem of his shirt.
“Then why do you keep pretending like this is all just a mistake?” Your voice is soft now, a little breathless, but there’s something in it that makes his heart race even faster. “You know what I’ve done. You know the truth. So why are we still playing this game?”
His chest tightens as he stares into your eyes, the question echoing in his mind. Why are we still playing this game?
He’s already crossed too many lines, already made choices that can’t be undone. He’s in love with you, and that’s the only truth he can hold onto right now. But the guilt, the knowledge of what you’ve done—it’s suffocating him.
“I’m here because I don’t have a choice,” he says, his voice barely a whisper. “I’ve already made my choice. And it’s you.”
You look at him, your gaze calculating, but something flickers in your eyes. Relief? Or is it something darker? He can’t tell anymore.
“You don’t have to choose between me and the truth, Jungkook,” you say, stepping even closer until you’re inches apart. “The truth is… we belong together. In everything we’ve done. In everything we’ll do.”
The words send a shiver through him. There’s no going back now. He knows it. You know it.
His hands reach for you, pulling you into him, and your lips meet in a kiss that is desperate and consuming. He’s not thinking anymore. He’s not questioning. He’s just here, with you, drowning in everything that’s pulled you both together.
When you finally break apart, his breath is ragged, his chest heaving. Your hands rest on his shoulders, your eyes dark with something he can’t quite place.
“I’ll do anything for you,” he says, his voice hoarse, the words pouring out of him without thought.
“I know,” you reply softly, your fingers brushing against his neck. “And I’ll do anything for you too. But we have to be honest with each other now. No more lies.”
He nods, the weight of your words sinking into his bones. There’s no turning back now. “Jungkook.. you know it was a big skill investigation rate. How did you even convince your department to close the case tell me what did you do.”
He looks at you and smiles
He’s made his choice.
“Okay fine I will tell you.”
The investigation was closing in, and with each passing day, the walls seemed to close in tighter around Jungkook. The blood—so carefully planted at Mina’s crime scene—was becoming a ticking time bomb, and the pressure to keep Y/N safe weighed heavily on him. His heart hammered in his chest every time the case came up in discussion, and he knew he had to take drastic measures.
He needed to shut it all down. Permanently.
That’s when it hit him: a recently discovered body in a nearby district. A woman—pregnant, recently deceased, and conveniently found under suspicious circumstances. She wasn’t the killer, but to Jungkook, she might as well have been. He could use her to frame the entire investigation.
When Jungkook visited the morgue that night, the body lay still on the cold steel table, a haunting reminder of the fragile line between life and death. The woman had died under mysterious circumstances, no clear motive, no clear suspect. And with her pregnancy, she was the perfect pawn.
Jungkook’s mind raced as he walked around the body, his eyes lingering on her swollen belly, her pale face, the indistinct bruises on her skin that told a story he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know. He felt a sharp pang in his chest, the ghost of guilt flickering behind his thoughts. But there was no time for hesitation. He needed this body.
In his mind, he already had a plan.
He would stage the scene, make it look like this woman was the killer. He’d plant evidence that suggested the woman had been linked to Mina’s death—trace amounts of blood, a few fingerprints in the wrong places. A well-placed piece of clothing or object to tie her to the scene. It was risky, but it was the only way to close the case without implicating Y/N.
The morgue attendant, a sleepy-eyed man who didn’t seem to care much for the dead, handed him the body without question. Jungkook took a deep breath, making sure his hands didn’t shake. He carefully moved the body, knowing exactly what he needed to do.
Hours later, the police were called to a new crime scene. It was the same as always—an empty alleyway with the body of a woman found in a position that suggested something far darker than a random attack. The crime scene looked eerily similar to the previous murders, and that’s exactly what Jungkook had hoped for.
His mind worked quickly, placing the body of the pregnant woman at the scene as though she had been the one to kill Mina. The blood trail leading away from her. A few well-placed items. The evidence was there, but just subtle enough to make it believable.
The next day, Jungkook presented the findings to the department. His colleagues seemed to buy it without much question.
The body of the pregnant woman, found near the alley where Mina had been murdered, in her own home, was identified as the suspect. The evidence—though still sparse—was enough to back up the theory he had fabricated.
“I’ve spoken with forensics,” Jungkook said, standing tall as the room buzzed with suspicion. “The blood found near Mina’s body and the scene where this woman was found confirms our theory. This woman, whoever she was, was clearly involved. And she was pregnant, which explains her connection to the killer we’ve been hunting.”
The room fell silent, the officers looking at each other in confusion. But Jungkook pressed on, pushing the narrative with an authoritative tone.
“She was part of the criminal network, no doubt. This is why the killer used her. She was a pawn, an expendable figure, dragged into something much larger.”
“But with her death, we’ve finally identified her role. She’s the one we were after.”
Jungkook’s voice was steady, rehearsed, convincing. He wasn’t just presenting evidence; he was weaving the story.
One of the officers, a sharp-eyed veteran named Park, raised an eyebrow, leaning forward with a skeptical look. “Are you sure, Jeon? This all seems… too neat. A little too perfect.”
Jungkook took a breath, pushing his doubts aside. “We have to tie it up. The evidence is there. It explains everything. And it leads us to believe that the killer is someone who knew how to manipulate the situation. A pregnant woman was used to distract us from the true killer.”
He met Park’s gaze, holding it long enough to send the message. There was no going back now. He had to make this work.
•••
After a lot of deliberation, and no further suspicions or clues, Jungkooks lie worked
But there were too many questions now. How far could he go before his lies caught up to him? Would the department ever suspect him, even if they’d closed the case?
And most importantly, how much longer could he keep this secret—his secret—hidden from everyone, especially from Y/N?
With the department’s approval, Jungkook walked away from the case, his mind heavy with the weight of the lies he’d told. But as whenever he looked at Y/N, the mother of his child, he knew that no matter what it took, he would do whatever it took to keep her from being discovered.
The announcement came in later that day: Case #178-C, the Seodaemun Serial Killings, officially closed.
The case was officially closed. The department was satisfied, the investigation wrapped up, and the media was ready to move on to the next headline. Jungkook, however, couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was unraveling. He had used the body of a pregnant woman, a victim in her own right, to save Y/N—and his own conscience.
And now you two, will be together forever, and it will be your own heaven where no one will ever disturb you both and your growing family.
Everything is fair in love and war after to all
And this was both.
The love stored in his heart and the war of his own conscious, and eventually the love for you and his heart lawn over the war in his conscious.
“So you see, yn? Start packing your bags. You’re moving in with me and we’re gonna get married and have a child and live happily ever after.”
He stares at you with a lot of love in his eyes, but there’s something darker and you recognize it because it’s such a familiar look
A look that you often saw in your own mirror.
You kiss him again and smile against his lips.
You will do anything for him and you know now that he will also do anything for you.
Everything was worth it.
He was always worth it.
And he knows for a fact that you’re always gonna be worth it
#jungkook smut#bts smut#jungkook x reader#yandere bts#yandere jungkook#yandere jjk#jjk smut#yandere x reader#yandere smut#smut#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook fic#jungkook ff#jungkook fanfiction#bts ff#bts fanfic#bts fanfction#jeongguk smut#jeon jeongguk#bts x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#bts x you#bts x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#bts angst
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APOLOGY ACCEPTED
overview: after quinn receives the silent treatment, he's determined to make it up to you.
warnings: smut below! MDNI!! fingering, unprotected sex, quinn being an asshole but he makes up for it, etc.
note: got inspired to write bc the canucks beat the blackhawks!! (i was worried after they gave up that first goal)
“Will you quit acting like a child and just talk to me?”
You scoffed at his comment, slipping off your shoes and hanging your keys up by the door, Quinn following behind you.
In his eyes, you had no real reason to be upset. You had attended the Canucks and Islanders game, the game ending in a loss. You expected Quinn to be in a mood, a quiet one at that, so you didn’t make much of an effort to talk to him.
However, you hadn’t expected him to dodge your greeting entirely. No matter how upset he was, he’d always greet you with a hug and a kiss. This night, he had let you make a fool out of yourself, letting you wrap your arms around him as he failed to reciprocate it, being followed by walking away as you just nearly connected your lips to his.
This resulted in your current situation. You giving him the silent treatment. He had attempted to spark a conversation in the car once he had calmed down but fell victim to your silence.
He groaned in annoyance as you stepped into your shared bedroom, slipping out a few moments later in your own oversized shirt, something you only did when you were truly upset at him. You found solace on the couch, grabbing the remote and throwing some random video on in the background. Quinn watched as you didn’t even glance at him, his presence completely nonexistent in your state of anger.
He sighed walking into the room you once were in to change into something more comfortable than the suit he had entered the arena in. It was only when he slipped into his sweatpants was it that he realized that he was the one in the wrong. You had taken time out of your day to come out and support him, offering comfort even after a tough loss.
Quinn debated with himself in his own mind, brainstorming ways to make it up to you. He could get on his knees and beg for your forgiveness, smothering you with kisses until you forgave him or even spoke to him by telling him to stop. He could spoil you with gifts for the next year. He was feeling so unworthy of you that he briefly considered retiring early just to spend the whole time making it up to you.
Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in his head. He stripped off the shirt that he had put on only a few moments prior and stepped back into the living room.
His eyes were met with a slightly different scene than when he had left. Instead of mindlessly watching the TV, you were on your phone. He could catch a small glimpse of your screen, seeing you like a post from the Canucks Instagram page of him hugging Lekkerimäki after scoring his first NHL goal, zooming in to get a good look at his proud smile.
Quinn could feel his stomach twist at your actions, regretting every single second he had gone without apologizing to you.
You soon went back to scrolling your feed, trying to ignore Quinn’s presence as he squatted in front of you, turning the TV volume down before shifting his attention to you.
He sighed, “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry.”
It was genuine, you knew that. But he was going to have to say a lot more than sorry after what he pulled. Quinn knew this too, immediately crowding your space, taking your phone out of your hands, and placing it on the coffee table. You rolled your eyes, shifting your gaze at the TV behind him even though it was barely coherent.
Quinn didn’t stop his efforts when you ignored him, if anything it implored him to try harder. He began kissing your cheek, eventually trailing down your face and landing on your neck, sucking at the soft skin, leaving purple blotches wherever his lips landed.
You struggled to keep quiet as he reached a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, a spot he knew would make you want to drop it and give in. Somehow, you managed to keep your composure, distracting yourself with the TV.
His lips trailed further down, kissing over your shirt as he kept going lower. It was only that his kisses stopped when he reached the bottom of the clothing. He moved it slightly so he could get access to your shorts. He moved from his squatting position to hover on top of your figure on the couch.
Now that he was in a more comfortable spot, his lips found your face again as his hand dipped into your shorts and past your panties. You bit your tongue as the pads of his fingers made contact with your clit, rubbing slow circles on the sensitive bundle of nerves.
“I’m so fucking sorry.” He mumbled into your jaw, “So fucking sorry.
Once again he trailed lower, his lips landing on your collarbone this time. His fingers increased their speed and keeping quiet was getting close to impossible. Luckily for him, your control slipped slightly as he pushed two fingers into you, a soft moan escaping your lips.
He was knuckle-deep into you as he curled his fingers, hitting that one spot in you that caused a gasp to slip out. You were determined to keep quiet, but with every thrust of his fingers and tightening of the knot in your stomach, you wanted nothing more than to cry out his name and beg him to fuck you.
Quinn was relentless, not only with his fingers but with his words. He mumbled apology after apology into your skin as you panted, trying your best not to let anything slip. His mouth ended up next to your ear, his words seeming much more intimate due to the proximity.
“Please forgive me, sweet girl. I’ll never do it again.” He whined, sounding pathetic as he begged for your forgiveness.
One last curl of his fingers and your body stopped fighting him. You came undone around his digits, crying out his name as you reached a hand up to tug on his hair. He sighed in relief, eyes shutting as he felt the satisfaction of not only making you cum but also hearing you acknowledge him since entering the apartment.
As you came down from your high, he continued to place soft kisses all over your neck and face. The satisfaction continued as you turned your head, your lips finding his like you had yearned for back at the arena.
He retracted his fingers and brought them up to his mouth, wiping them clean with his tongue. You smiled hazily at the sight, admiring the way he savoured your taste as if it was his favourite thing in the world.
“Am I forgiven?” He whispered, a hint of worry laced in his words.
You giggled quietly, “I think you can make it up to me a little more, don’t you think?”
Quinn smiled at your words, stepping off the couch to discard his pants completely. You lifted your hips, sliding out of your shorts. He only got as far as to sit down on the couch before you swung a leg around his lap, straddling him, his eyes admiring you on top of him.
Now it was your turn to litter him in marks, his lack of a shirt making his pec your first target. You sucked gently, grinding yourself over his bare cock, eliciting a groan from your boyfriend.
“Let me take care of you, hm? Promise I’ll make you feel good.” Quinn asked, hoping to at least be able to rest inside of you as you sucked at his skin.
You smiled, pulling back to place a brief kiss on his lips, “I know you will. But I wanna take my time with you. Just give me a second, okay?”
He knew he wasn’t in a position to complain, so he simply nodded, settling for the stimulation he was getting from your hips. Thankfully, Quinn was so easily marked up that you were satisfied not long after. You were always careful not to leave any hickeys that were visible under his gear, but you got carried away and now the media would get a short glimpse into his personal life. Not that either of you cared about it at the moment, however.
When you pulled away, you lifted your hips and shot him a look. He caught the hint immediately, lining himself up with your entrance and thrusting into you swiftly.
Quinn gave you no chance to adjust before he fucked you harshly. All the teasing you had made him endure got him so worked up, that he was surprised he didn’t finish as soon as he entered you.
“Shit, you feel so good.” He groaned, his hands shifting from your hips to grope at your ass.
You let out a whimper as you felt your orgasm build up yet again, the look on your boyfriend’s face making your brain short circuit. His eyebrows were knitted together, eyes glossy and cheeks red as a stream of moans left his throat.
“Quinn! I’m so close.” You whined, your face leaning into his shoulder in an attempt to hold yourself together long enough for him to finish with you. That vision was tossed out of your mind as Quinn brought his hand to your clit, his thumb rubbing around it.
A stream of his name along with some obscenities escaped your lips as you came around his cock, the pulses coming from your pussy being enough to tip Quinn over as well.
His movement subsided, the only sounds in the room being gasping breaths coming from the two of you.
Quinn settled down first, pressing languid kisses to the side of your face. “I love you. I’m so sorry.”
You smiled into his skin, turning your head to look at him, “Apology accepted. Just don’t ever do it again.”
“I never will.” He leaned over to kiss your lips longingly before speaking again, “How about we get cleaned up and order in some dinner? We can even throw on one of those cheesy romance movies you like.”
#quinn hughes#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes smut#qh43#vancouver canucks#nhl smut#jo speaks
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