#at my funeral I'm sure that's what people would have to say about me. I'm funny. and honest and blunt

[lexicog]

traitor to the cause forgets national holiday every year KILL HIM

[casekt]

I don't remember when I woke up last but my face feels like it's melting off and it's for sure been more than 24 hours, and usually that's not face melting, but I've been staying up for 20 something 40 something hours too often this week

[terrestrialnoob]

Harley crawled into the apartment. It was organized, but it looked like the occupant didn't have a lot of time for cleaning. She walked softly through it, taking it in. There were photos of her target and what had to be her family, but no friends or romantic partners. Some had a pair of older adults, matching traits meant bio-parents. More of the photos were of the target and a younger boy - a little brother, the highest likelihood of becoming another target if things go bad.

Harley continued forward, following the light to where her target was. She stood in the doorway, looking in.

Dr. Jasmine Fenton, Arkham Asylum's newest psychologist, just got her degree and everything. She did what most newbies do, actually thinking she could get through to the Joker. Harley didn't want to say it was impossible, but everyone who tried ended up in a new job or dead. Harley would try and make sure it was the former and not the later.

Harley watched as the redhead read over a file as she ate from a takeout box. She didn't want to scare the girl, yet. The scaring her away from Joker came later. So, she had to wait for the perfect moment to-

"I know you're there." Jasmine didn't look up from her file, but held out the last box of Chinese food in Harley's direction. "There's plenty if you want some."

"Awe, you ruined the surprise." Harley walked out of the shadows of the hallway into the girl's home office. She snatched the offered box of food and took a few bites as she jumped to sit on the desk.

"I'm hard to sneak up on." Jasmine said, closing her file and finally looking at Harley. "So, Dr. Quinzel, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this evening?"

"Oh, call me Harley!" She laughed, she wasn't called Dr. all that often any more. She tapped her chop sticks on the file Jasmine just closed. "I thought you'd like a consult on your new patient, Dr. Fenton. I've got a lot of experience with him."

"I prefer to go by Jazz." She said with a smile, "While I appreciate the offer, I'd like to see how far I can get on my own. And, sorry, but I'm pretty sure your license was revoked."

Harley nodded as she swallowed to get the noodles out of her mouth. "I get it! You're new, fresh outta school, gotta prove yourself. But Joker ain't the guy to do that with. He eats people like us for breakfast, and in all the years he's been in Arkham, no one's been able to get anywhere with him."

Jazz sighed, "I don't like to believe people are lost causes. There's always something we can do to help."

"You can't help everyone, especially when they don't want it. And it's not just a question if whether or not he can be saved or whatever." Harley set down the now empty box, Jazz pointed to another one that still had food in it, but Harley declined. "If you keep it up, he'll think you're worth his time to torment. There's no telling what he'll do when he inevitably gets himself out again."

"I'll be fine." Jazz said, but Harley had to cut her off before she said something stupid.

"It's not just you! You've got family out there he can target, your parents. Your Brother! Anyone you date will become a target! He'll do everything in his power to make your life miserable!"

Jazz chuckled. "If he wants to target my family, his funeral. My parents are - were supervillains. They've really only become less- well, hyper-focused on eradicating an entire race of being- in the past few years. And my brother - I'm pretty sure he's conditionally immortal. So that's nothing to worry about."

"If it's conditional, Joker will find a way around it." Harley said, but she had to admit, this might have been an unnecessary trip. "You sure y'ain't got nothing to worry about? What about you? How conditional is your mortality?"

Jazz smiled. Her mouth seemed too wide and with too many teeth. "Oh, I am nowhere near immortal. But..."

She stood up and the room was suddenly a black void. Toxic green eyes and mouths filled with glowing white teeth opened around them. "I doubt anyone could get close enough to test it."

The room was suddenly back to normal, but whatever that thing was was still there. Harley could see its eyes watching her with amusement from inside Jazz's oversized cardigan.

"Well, I guess this really was a wasted trip. You've clearly got it covered."

"Not entirely." Jazz said, her hand wend up to her neck to rub nervously, "Well, you see... I don't really have a lot of friends. People tend to get - uh, creeped out, you know? Or chased off by my parents or brother or whatever..."

"You wanna be friends?" Harley laughed so hard she almost fell over.

Jazz's face turned bright red and the shadow eyes looked way less amused. "Yeah, stupid question. You've clearly got your own things going on."

"No! No, no." Harley had to take several deep breaths before she could look Jazz in the face again. "I 100% wanna hang out with you!"

"Really?"

"Oh yeah." She took another deep breath, "I mean, I really should have made a support system before trying to take on the Joker back when I worked for Arkham. This" she pointed between them "can only end well."

Jazz's face turned brighter than the sun. "Oh my gosh! This is amazing! We should - I have Thursday's and weekends off - What - what kind of things should we-"

Oh man, Jazz was like an excited kid. She must have had a really lonely childhood... they can psychoanalyze each other later. "Come over for girl's night next week. I'll tell my gf and bff to expect an extra person... Does the-" she motioned to the cardigan creature "-go everywhere you go? Does it need food?"

"Oh, don't worry about Jet, they only eat who I tell them to."

Harley barked out more laughter. "You're going to fit right in!"

Now featuring a Part 2

[augustinewrites]

jealous zhongli my beloved

nestled right in the heart of qiaoying village sits a cozy little apothecary run by you and zhongli. 

your little shop is popular for locals and tourists alike, perfect for people looking for natural remedies or just a new tea brew. today is a little bit slower, with everyone in liyue harbor celebrating lantern rite. so zhongli sits in the back with a half drained cup of tea, reviewing the shop’s finances and balancing the books while you work up front, greeting and assisting the last few customers of the afternoon. 

every so often he lets his focus drift to where you’re working, passing out unlit sparklers to a trio of young children. you shake your head when their parents try to pay, smiling softly when the young ones thank you excitedly and rush out, dragging the adults behind them. 

zhongli’s mind begins to wander to the future, as it often does on days such as this. perhaps next year, you’d be handing sparklers to children of your own.

“are you almost ready to go?” you ask, appearing in the doorway, just as he’s brainstorming baby names in the margins of his work. “i’m waiting on one last gentleman, then we can close for the day.”

zhongli leans back, watching you with a measured expression as he considers your words. “i see. may i ask who this gentleman is? he must be important, if we’re waiting for his business.” 

amusement dances across your expression. “he came by yesterday while you were in the city, inquiring about teas. i think you’d enjoy his company, he reminded me of you. incredibly knowledgeable, wise beyond his years, not to mention very handsome…”

now he was really aching to leave, but not to the harbor to witness the festivities. he was aching to take you home, grab his spear, then return and wait for this gentleman.

you look over your shoulder when the bell at the front door tinkles. “oh! there he is!” 

“i should greet him,” zhongli suggests (though it doesn't really sound like a suggestion). “i'm sure we have much to discuss.”

“alright, my love. lead the way,” you tease, letting him position himself in front of you. 

zhongli forces a somewhat pleasant smile and tone as he greets the customer clad in the fineries of…fontaine. 

it takes all of three seconds for him to realize that this is no customer. 

but he can't do anything, not in front of you, and he’s sure the hydro dragon wouldn't be so foolish to threaten the safety of one’s mate. 

“monsieur neuvillette!” you greet cheerily, peeking around zhongli’s defensive stance. “i have the tea blends you ordered stored in the back. i’ll go grab them.” 

so begins a true gentleman’s argument. 

“welcome. is there anything i can assist you with in the meantime?” (why have you come?)

the chief justice smiles, though it looks practiced and every bit as forced as zhongli’s. “i’ve just come because i admire fair prices.” (i've come for justice)

zhongli has always known this confrontation would come. though the authority of the original elemental dragons has disappeared from the world, a new generation has come to reclaim what was lost. 

“i see.” (i see)

“i've heard much about this place from the locals.” neuvillette says, fearlessly holding eye contact with the archon. “you’ve created quite the human life for yourself, morax. an artifact appraiser, funeral consultant, and now you run a successful apothecary with your lovely mate.”

something old, draconic, possessive rumbles through veins. 

neuvillette merely chuckles as the earth beneath the shop trembles lightly. 

though you return just in time to quell the impending earthquake, zhongli’s possessiveness flares through no fault of his own. dragons mate for life, and though he has the utmost trust in you, he does not trust the dragon from fontaine smiling so politely at you. 

with his gaze narrowed so dangerously, he misses the amused look you cast up at him when his hand grasps your waist, securing you at his side. 

“thank you for your patronage, monsieur, but we are now closed. safe travels back to fontaine.”

he doesn't bother waiting for a reply, dragging you away from the counter and into the back room as you try to look over your shoulder.

“thank you for coming, monsieur–”

zhongli presses his lips to yours before you can say his name, the hand not gripping your waist cupping the back of your neck as he crowds you against the wall. 

there’s only one, foolproof way to mark you as his.

good thing he already has names picked out.

[the-modern-typewriter]

Imagine a villain straight refusing to fight another member of the Hero Team just cuz his hero archnemesis is not present

"Where are they?"

"Oh, not again." The protagonist could feel a headache coming on. "Look-"

"-Are they hurt?" The villain's eyes went dark and dangerous. "Who hurt them?"

"They're fine! Oh my god."

"Then where are they?"

The protagonist definitely had a headache. "It's their day off."

"They didn't tell me they had the day off. What's wrong?"

The really concerning part was that the hero probably would tell the villain which days they were working and which they weren't. The two of them were as bad as each other! The hero was going to be unbearable when they came back and found out that the team had fought the villain without them.

"Can we just get this over with?" the protagonist tried.

"No."

The protagonist sighed. They pinched the bridge of their nose and took a few deep breaths. "Okay," they said slowly. "But you realise I'm still going to have confiscate your nightmare robot."

"It's not for you. And don't think I didn't notice you dodging the question!"

The protagonist considered their options; lies, truth, everything in between.

The villain's nightmare robot hunkered down a little more pointedly in the middle of the bridge. Several people honked their horns. It was, honestly, embarrassing for everyone involved at that point.

"Their grandma died."

"Oh no." The villain's whole face softened. "Grandma L or Grandma P?"

Of course he knew the hero's grandparents. Of course he did. "Look, about the robot-"

"-I'll reschedule," the villain said.

"I can't let you keep the robot. My boss would have my head."

"That sounds like a 'you' problem. I have flowers to send."

The protagonist's eye twitched. "If you try and walk away with it-"

"-Do you really want to traumatize this entire bridge of innocent civilians?"

"I'm sure they're traumatized having to listen to you two idiots on a weekly basis."

"I'm taking the robot. When are they back?"

"They haven't said," the protagonist said, through gritted teeth. "As you know-"

"-They'll be doing all the funeral arrangements. Yeah. You know what, give me their number. I'll text them."

"I'm not giving you their number."

"Why not?"

"It's against policy."

"I'd like to express my condolences."

The protagonist looked them dead in the face. "Mm. That sounds like a 'you' problem. I have a robot to confiscate."

The robot slammed a fist into the bridge. It wobbled precariously.

The protagonist raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. They folded their arms across their chest.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" the villain snarled.

"I hate you too, don't worry."

"I should kill you."

"They'd have so much paperwork when they got back from the funeral. It would really improve their month, you killing me."

They ended up glaring at each other.

"If I give you the bloody stupid robot, will you give me their number?"

The protagonist smiled sweetly. "That's the only smart thing I've ever heard you say."

Everyone, generally, preferred it when the hero was around.

They all made sure it didn't happen again.

[jellieland]

"You know," says Jimmy smugly, "I think second is the best spot to die in, actually."

"Really," says Mumbo, exasperated.

"Yes, I don't know what you're so happy about," says Lizzie. "You barely lasted ten minutes more than me."

"Doesn't matter. Not out first, baby!" He crows, triumphant, to the neverending void.

"And you killed me last session!"

"...Yes, I, uh, I'm sorry about that one. Sort of. Mostly," he says, momentarily cowed.

"I can't believe you people," says Lizzie. "They didn't have a funeral for me. I died first, and you got one, and they didn't even have a funeral for me!" She sounds indignant, but a look of genuine hurt crosses her face for a moment.

"I'm going to be honest, Lizzie," says Mumbo awkwardly. "I think they had bigger things to worry about. I- I think Joel was quite sad about it, though. If that helps?"

"I suppose it's better than nothing." She crosses her arms.

"But- wait, hang on. Jimmy?" says Mumbo abruptly. "Did you say you wanted to go out second?"

"No!" Jimmy protests. "I just think if you have to go out, then second is sort of ideal, really, if you think about it!"

"No!" says Mumbo, indignant. "No, surely third is better, actually! And to extend that logic, fourth would be better as well, and fifth, and- well, you get the idea. Anyway, my point is that I did better than both of you!"

"Hey, don't bring me into this!" says Lizzie.

"Anyway, you're wrong," says Jimmy, back to being smug again.

There is a short silence.

"You, uh. You gonna elaborate on that one, buddy?" asks Mumbo.

"Well," says Jimmy. "Obviously going out first is terrible. Would not recommend. I don't know why anyone would do it, honestly, I know I would never-"

"You're going on my list," says Lizzie, cheerfully.

"Wait wait wait, no, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I really am!"

"Hmm." Lizzie narrows her eyes. "Acceptable. For now."

A few moments pass.

"You may continue," she says.

"Right," says Jimmy. "What was I saying?"

"You were being wrong about how the ranking in this game works," offers Mumbo.

"No I wasn't!" says Jimmy. "Just, let me explain. Now, you obviously don't want to go out first, sorry Lizzie, but it's true."

"I will concede that point," says Lizzie. "It wasn't great."

"But—have you seen how they get?"

"How they... get?" Mumbo frowns. "What do you mean?"

"The people who don't die."

"I- now, I don't know if you remember this," says Mumbo, "But third is a new record for me, so I really don't know how you expect me to know that."

"Anyway," interjects Lizzie, "Mumbo and I have only done this once before. I mean, I guess people started losing it a bit once you two died, but it wasn't that much different to how it already had been. Although I wasn't around for that long at that point."

"Yes, but, it-" Jimmy frowns. "I haven't seen much of it either. But there's something- I don't know how to explain what I mean. Maybe you haven't noticed, but there's stuff with Grian, Scott, Pearl."

He stops, sighs. Looks at the ground.

"Martyn's going to be alone, now," he says.

"Well," says Lizzie, a little acerbic. "You don't have to have people die for that to happen, you know."

Jimmy gives her a look that is a combination of sheepishness and genuine regret. "Ah. Yeah. I guess not."

"So you're right," says Lizzie. "I don't know what you mean."

"...I did feel bad," says Jimmy, quietly.

"You... did?" asks Lizzie. "What about?"

Jimmy looks at her, then off to the side. "...When I killed you."

"Oh."

"I really didn't mean to," he says. "I felt bad. It wasn't satisfying. It was just... a person I cared about. Dead. Because of me. Because I acted without thinking, because I wasn't paying attention."

"...Oh." says Lizzie, softly.

"And that was when I knew you would come back," says Jimmy.

Lizzie and Mumbo exchange glances, unsure.

"I'm good with second," says Jimmy. "I think it's the closest you can get to winning, actually."

They stand there, silent, for some time.

"Well," says Mumbo eventually. "I still feel like third is a bit better, though."

"Mumbo!" cries Jimmy.

"Mumbo, come on, we were just having a moment!" says Lizzie.

"Yes well, look, I really need this, guys," says Mumbo, shifting his weight from side to side. "I don't know if you know this, but I've had a really bad day. It was just terrible!"

"I think we've all had pretty bad days, Mumbo!" says Lizzie, raising an eyebrow. "I don't know if you've noticed, but we all died!"

"Yes, I- I had picked up on that, actually."

"I don't know," says Jimmy. "My day was great!"

They keep talking, and bickering, and the emptiness stretches off into the distance.

It's nice, not to have to be there alone.

[elodieunderglass]

the first chapter of Moby Dick rewritten in tiresome modern idiom

CHAPTER 1. Loomings.

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - it's none of your business how many - being mostly broke, and bored with the land part of the world, I thought I would sail around a little and look at the watery part of the world. I'm probably the most mentally healthy person you know. Whenever I feel my face getting grim; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself accidentally reading the ads in the window of funeral homes, and following funeral processions through traffic; and especially when I'm hangry, and only my extremely strong moral principles stop me from deliberately going out in public and methodically slapping people's earbuds out - then I know it's high time to get to sea, ASAP. This is my substitute for getting in fights. I'm too mentally healthy to kill myself; I quietly and considerately put myself on a ship and sail myself away instead. There is nothing surprising in this. Everyone feels exactly the same way, and if they don't, they're lying.

You think I'm lying? Exhibit A: a city. Go to your local coastal city. Everyone is looking at the water. They drive over from other neighborhoods just to come to the water. They make a day of it. They're not doing anything, they're just staring at the ocean. Why? Is it because they all work office jobs? No! Here come more of them! They cram themselves up to the edge of the water and stare at it. WHAT DO THEY WANT? WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT. Perhaps the ships themselves all packed together, each one with several compasses on it, creates some kind of critical mass - all of the small compass-magnets on all the ships in the harbor combining into one really big magnetic field - and the people get sucked into the field and trapped there. That's science.

Exhibit 2: the countryside with lakes in it. Every path you follow in the countryside brings you to some water, such as a stream. There is magic in it. If you take your standard fool with ADHD dissociating in the middle of a supermarket and put them outside and give them a shove, they'll automatically lead you to water (if there is any nearby) (try it). Another good experiment to try is to get lost in the great American desert in a caravan supplied with a metaphysical professor! Try it in the great American desert at home!

Yes, as everyone knows, meditation and water are a match made in heaven. Married forever. That's science.

Here's an artist who wants to paint you the dreamiest, most enchanting landscape. What does he put in it? Trees, meadow, cows, a cottage with smoke coming from the chimney, obviously. He will probably put a path in it and make lots of triangular mountains in rows and have them be different shades of blue (naturally.) But there's gotta be a stream in it. Go visit the prairies in June, and wade for forty miles through knee-deep through tiger lilies. What's missing from this picture? Water!

If Niagara Falls was made of sand instead of water, would you travel your thousand miles to see it? Why would a guy given a handful of cash have trouble deciding whether to buy a coat (which he needed) or go to the beach? Why are all the best, healthiest, sexiest and most mentally healthy people obsessed with the sea? (You get me.) When you were first on a boat, did you not succumb to VIBES? Consider ancient Persia. Consider ancient Greece. They understood about vibes, and also gods.

SURELY ALL OF THIS IS NOT WITHOUT MEANING.

And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all! You get me! You understand it now.

Now, when I say that I am in the habit of going to sea whenever I get weird, don't you dare imply that I buy a ticket and get on a boat. I have never had money in my life. How dare you. Anyway I don't go as a passenger - that's bougie, and something boring people do. Passengers never have a good time. And although my C.V. is incredible - I go to sea SO MUCH, you guys, I have lots of experience - I don't go as a boss, or a cook. That sounds like far too much work. Hard work. Disgusting, respectable, bougie, and far too responsible. I can literally only look after myself. Do not ask me to look after ships or shit. In fact, I have only a vague idea of what a ship is. There's so many different kinds of ships - don't get me started and DO NOT GET INVOLVED. Also, I'm allergic to glory.

It's kind of attractive to go as a cook. I mean, I'm allergic to glory and there's some glory attached to the position of the ship's cook, but, like, you're not management-track and so it's still credible. But I don't really want to cook (say) roast chicken. I really fucking love to eat roast chicken. I'm one of the best at doing it actually. I really appreciate when people go out of their way to butter, season, baste and roast a chicken for me. Picture a roast chicken and I am Looking Respectfully at it. Maybe something more, maybe I'm worshipping it. Don't make this weird. If you want to get weird about my relationship with roasted chicken, why aren't you getting weird about the ancient Egyptians? They ate roasted hippos (look it up) and the pyramids were basically pizza ovens. So it's pretty hypocritical to think that I'm being weird about roasted chicken when I've never made mummies out of chickens or built a religious pizza oven dedicated to honoring them: check and mate, haters.

Anyway - I like to go to sea as a manual laborer. A simple sailor. Salt of the earth… er… sea. Yeah, true: as a job it sucks. They make you jump around, order you around, treat you like shit. They expect you to jump around the boat like a grasshopper. And yes, at first, this sucks. It's degrading, especially if you come from a middle-class family. Worse, it's awful if you've already had some kind of professional job before signing on to be the dirt on the boss's boots - like, if you went to college and worked as a teacher and actually got kids to pay attention to you, really feeling this connection to work/teaching/identity or some shit, and now you are just literally the scum on this captain's boots, in the lowest possible job in the world. It hurts! It hurts your dignity. But the hurt, and also the dignity, both wear off in time.

So what if some old bastard sea captain orders me - ME! - to get a broom and sweep down the decks? What does that indignity amount to, compared to the shit in the Bible, compared to the shit in the news, compared to the shit everyone else has to take. Do you think the archangel Gabriel thinks anything the less of me, because I promptly and respectfully obey that old hunks in that particular instance? Who ain’t a slave? Tell me that. We're all just serfs under capitalism, right, so why not just be honest about it: I prefer the honesty. Anyway, however the old sea captains may order me about - slapping and punching of course - I have the satisfaction of knowing that it's the same experience everyone else on Earth has, but more honest. Everyone else in the world is being served the exact same way. Either in a physical or a metaphysical way - sometimes people get the shit beaten out of them in person, sometimes online, sometimes emotionally, it happens to you in EVERY JOB, you sign on to get pushed around and slapped in the teeth: so the point is that when you're a sailor, it's a clean and honest slap. All the workers of the world share the same universal slap to the face that gets passed round, one slap passed all 'round the chain, like paying it forward, but it's a slap; and we should all accept this Universal Slap as the price of living, and then offer each other healing back massages, brother to brother, and slap each other and then kissed the places we slapped, and be happy.

I could examine that but I'm not going to.

Anyway: I always go to sea as a sailor. I've said that already. You're welcome. BUT THE POINT IS, they pay you. If you're a passenger, they don't pay you, at least, not that I've ever heard of [citation needed] (do they pay passengers?? Is there a job I can get where I can be a passenger and get paid?? Look this up.) Yeah so passengers have to pay. And there is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid. The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us. (That's Adam and Eve. You get it.) But BEING PAID. GETTING PAID IS THE BEST. NOTHING COMPARES TO GETTING PAID. EVERYONE LOVES THAT SHIT. Which is surprising, since we also apparently believe that money is the root of all evil, and isn't there something in the bible about "no rich people can get into heaven," right? And yet it's universal, literally everyone loves payday. Ah! How cheerfully we send ourselves to hell.

Finally, I always go to sea as a sailor (I've said this already) because it's FRESH AIR AND EXERCISE. Okay so think about ships. Normally, bosses stand on the "bridge" thing, and because we're sailing a boat, the nose is going into the wind and the butt part of the boat is at the back. That's how wind works. But if you think about it, winds usually go in one direction more than other directions (unless the men have been eating beans and farting: it's Pythagoras, look it up) SO if you're a boss standing on the boss-deck, the wind is blowing FROM the sailors TOWARDS you, and YOU ARE ACTUALLY BREATHING THE AIR THAT SAILORS ALREADY BREATHED. The boss THINKS he breathes it first, but he doesn't. He gets the air at the BACK of the boat and sailors get the air at the FRONT. So it's better to be at the front of the boat (sailor) for health reasons. This is a metaphor for life and work, etc.

But I have smelled the sea lots of times as a paid sailor and WHY I should decide to go on a whaling expedition - ok so you know how there's an invisible police officer of the Fates who has me under constant surveillance, who secretly dogs me, and influences me in some unaccountable way? YOU get me. You know him. "The poor FBI agent tasked with reading my search engine history" YOU GET ME. Anyway, "Ishmael, why, after having a perfectly well-reasoned, and very smart of you, part-time job as a spontaneous random sailor, did you decide to escalate that to joining a WHALING EXPEDITION, which is worse in every way?" Well, ask my fucking secret FBI agent, he can answer better than anyone else. Including me. You get me. Also, obviously, this was predestined, part of the Universe's Grand Programme for its talent show, which was all scheduled way before our time. The concept of sending me on the whaling voyage comes in as a kind of interlude or solo between the main performances of the Universe's great talent show. I bet it was advertised llike,

"PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF THE UNITED STATES EMBROILED IN ONGOING LEGAL DISPUTE.

Whaling voyage by some guy called Ishmael.

BLOODY BATTLE IN AFGHANISTAN."

Like a commercial break in between the big acts. A filler episode. Lightens the load for everyone else. Though I can't explain why the stage managers - the Fates - chose such a shitty role for me, a WHALING VOYAGE of all things, when it feels like others were given magnificent parts in high tragedies, and short and easy parts in genteel comedies, and jolly parts in farces - it seems a little unreasonable at first. Why doth Ishmael get shat upon, etc. But then I think about all the circumstances, the plot points and motivations that were cunningly presented to me under various disguises - FBI agents, bouts of random hanger, gay awakenings, you get me - and you can see that actually, I was set up. And worse, between them all, these Fates and Circumstances conspired to make me believe it was all my own choice and good judgment. Is Free Will an illusion? Are my decisions bad? We will NEVER know because I, Ishmael, am just a little guy that the Universe plays head games with.

One of the ways the Universe tricked me into starring in this performance and then mocking me for it was the overwhelming idea of the great whale himself (whaling expeditions usually contain whales.) Such a portentous and mysterious monster roused all my curiosity. Then of course, if you have a whale, you have the wild and distant seas where the whale rolls around with his body-the-size-of-an-island; the dangers and nameless perils of the whale; whales are also found in interesting places I haven't seen; this all tipped me over the edge. Maybe normal people could've resisted, but I am tormented with an everlasting itch for obscurity. I hate everyone else's oceans. I want the forbidden seas.

You know The Horrors? Of course you do. You might be surprised that I, the most mentally healthy person you've ever met, a person who is self-aware enough to go to sea when they're at their fucking limits, a guy who likes fresh air and manual labor and normal things, is familiar with The Horrors. Well, you'd be surprised. I know what's good, I'm an extrovert. But I'm still quick to perceive The Horrors. And how I deal with the horrors is a very extroverted thing: I'm social with them, if they'll let me. It's smart to be on good terms with The Horrors. You should always be on good terms with your permanent neighbors. That's how extroverts deal with The Horrors, and I recommend it.

I think that's enough explanation for why I welcomed the whaling voyage. The great flood-gates of the wonder-world swung open, and in the wild figments of imagination that pushed me into doing it, the whales came marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah. They marched into my innermost soul in endless processions and occupied it, you see, I was quite helpless under this occupation - I consented to the haunting and the whales marched in to haunt me - and amidst them all was one grand shrouded white phantom, like a snowy mountain in the air.

You get it.

You know how it is, with whales.

(read the actual first chapter of Moby Dick here: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2701/2701-h/2701-h.htm)

[neil-gaiman]

It's too late for me to get your response on this because I have to leave in 2.5 hours, and I'm sure you have an Ask pile 50k high as usual. But, in the extremely unlikely event that you do see this: Should I wear my Death of the Endless t-shirt to a funeral tonight? It would greatly honour the deceased who was a massive Sandman fan, but might offend some people who are Not Nerds. (Note also: it's funeral for friends and we've been told to wear what we are comfortable in.)

If you're wearing it to honour the deceased than I would say go with it. If anyone grumbles or looks at you askance you can explain and then they will learn something about their dead friend or family member.

[rainybubbles]

How do you meet COD men after your break-up with them ?

Price, Ghost, König, Soap, Alejandro, Gaz, Alex

(Sorry in advance for my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue. So sorry if it's badly written or if they're OOC. )

P R I C E :

-In a waiting room at the hospital with him baring his ass and you in your white coat, that's how you meet after your break-up.

-"I can't believe we're both at the hospital," John sighs in pain.

-"Yeah, I thought this was the trendy coffee shop. Turns out, my navigation skills are terrible," you joke.

-He lets out a small laugh.

-"So how did you end up with your ass burnt, John ? Did you try some sexy wax ?"you ask while you begin to examine him.

-"Do you really need to ask why something is burn ?"

-"Soap ?" you guess.

-Price nods.

-"Shit, I think you have some third degree burns on the right side."

-"Soap wanted to make a firework on the base, to light up the mood of everyone on the base. He tried to test the fireworks before, and I was there at the wrong moment."Price explains while you help him walk towards the surgery room.

-"It must have hurt like hell. Lay down here on your stomach, I'll call my colleague. His specialty is the burns, so you'll be in good hands. Normally your ass will only have scars on the right side."

-"Guess I have the other half to seduce people then." he jokes.

-You smile.

-"You know you have a great ass, John. Don't worry about that."

-"I know, love."

-You both stare at each other when he said the nickname. It has been eight months since you broke up. It was on mutual agreement, because you had a promotion on your job that didn't let you time for a relationship.

-You gulp and nod.

-You leave the room and ask the help of your colleague and continued your job.

-You tried to ignore the tension you had with John when you were talking. You tried to ignore the image of him smiling.

-Hours later when you have finished your duty, you were walking out of the hospital when you noticed John.

-"Someone of the team picks you up ?" you ask.

-"Yes, but they're late."

-You hesitate to wait with him, after all you had nothing to do. But your mind reminds you it would be a bad idea.

-"How's your job ?" Price asks.

-"I...Fine. In fact I was transferred to another service two months ago. So it's calmer and I don't have many 24h shifts now. And you ?"

-"Still busy."

-You nod.

-"I quit smoking." Price says suddenly.

-You raised your eyebrows. Cigars were like Price's identity. Like Spiderman has his mask, Price has his cigars and hats.

-"Why ?" you ask.

-"I know you hate the smell."

-"Oh."

-"I think we made a mistake back then, I wanted to text you but..." Jon starts.

-"But you get your ass burnt and me seeing your naked ass before you could do it."

-He laughed.

-"Yes."

-"So you think we should give us another chance ?"

-"I'm sure. I mean we always managed to find time for us with my busy schedule, so why would it be a bother if you have one too ? Plus you said you were transferred so I guess your schedule is back to normal ?"

-"Yes,"you say.

-"Do you want this, sweetheart ?" Price asks looking at you in the eyes

-"I..."

-"You ?"

-"I missed you," you admit.

-"Me too."

-"And shit, I didn't know what to do when I saw you again, but I'm sure I don't want to give up when eight months later you still make me flustered by just a look."

-John smiles.

-"Then we have another chance."

-You nodded.

-"Yes we have."

-I guess Soap burnt some ass, but also help to light the fire of love.

G H O S T :

-The rain was falling.

-Soldiers were wearing their uniforms, and the silence was omnipresent.

-Nobody dared to move, to speak. Only the sobbings of a widow were heard.

-It was Thomas' funeral.

-Thomas was one of Ghost's men, but also someone you knew as a friend.

-So when you arrived at the funeral, you saw Simon.

-It has been two years since you saw him. After your break-up it was as if you had imagined Ghost.

-There were no traces of him, not even in your shared flat, or in your phone.

-You didn't know what to do now he was here in front of you, so you stayed back.

-You ignored the pain of loss and bitter you were feeling about him and the situation.

-But then he was next to you. Like a shadow who didn't dare to approach you, too scared to burn himself with your lighting presence.

-"Simon," you decided to whisper.

-"Y/n," he answered.

-It was awkward. You didn't know what to do. You were with him during four years, but it was like you were strangers again.

-"I...Had Thomas said something before he died ?" you asked.

-You knew Ghost was the one who found Thomas' corpse on the mission.

-"He talked about his wife. And ask to protect the kid."

-"...I see,"you whispered.

-He didn't add anything else, so you sighed.

-"And you ?"

-"me ?" Ghost asked.

-"Simon, he was one of your men. You have known Thomas for three years, even though you didn't have a bond with him like Soap, I know you're feeling guilty now."

-"I'm guilty."

-You wanted to slap him.

-"Guilty of what, Simon ? You can't save everyone. You can't just sacrifice yourself to save the ones you love. It doesn't work like this."

-"It worked for you."

-"Are you really bringing this up ?"you whispered angrily.

-"You're happier now."

-"No I'm not. I just have tried to live again without you. Shit, you left without any warnings, without...without telling me. I had to guess you were breaking up with me."

-He stayed silent.

-"Simon, say something."

-"Why did you keep pursuing me ?"

-"Why did you let me to ?"you asked.

-"...I couldn't lose you."

-"But you did."

-"I know. But I had told you not to choose me."

-"But I did."

-He stayed silent.

-"And I will always choose you." you added.

-Simon raised his eyebrows.

-"...I screwed up." Simon whispered.

-"You did."

-"It's too late, now," Simon said.

-"It's never too late to make up for it, Simon."

-"It's been two years," Simon added.

-"But I'm here."

-"You deserve better," Simon said.

-"My tastes are shitty, what can I say ?"

-He smiled under his mask.

-"I don't ask a new romantic relationship with you, Simon. I just want to be in your life. I don't care if it's platonic, romantic or something else. Just, let me be here for you."

-"Even though we end up strangers again ?"

-"Yes."

-"You're stubborn."

-"I learned that from my ex," you joked.

-He smiled.

-"Okay," he whispered

-"Okay," you answered.

The next day he texted you.

K Ö N I G :

(/!/TW,chemo mentionned, Implied panic attack, it's not said clearly but it's clearly implied.)

-You were visiting your grandma when you saw König in the building.

-It was awkward, you both pretended to not have recognized each other but now you were both in the lift.

-Well stuck in the lift.

-Because a lift is not supposed to tremble and let out a ringing.

-"I...I think we can stop pretending we don't know each other since we're stuck for at least two hours now," you said while you sat on the floor.

-"I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry," König whispered quickly.

-"Me too, and when you didn't say anything, I thought it was better to stay silent too."

-He nodded.

-"So...you're here for your grandma ?" he asked.

-"yes."

-"Does she still have chemo or ?"

-"No she's in remission. You remembered that ?" you asked surprised

-"Yes, you talked a lot about it."

-You stayed quiet. One of the reasons for the break-up was your feeling of being alone in this relationship. König was always gone and at home it seems like he didn't listen to you, or avoided you a lot.

-You only talked once about your grandma and it was two years ago.

-"I see" you said

-The silence was awkward. But then you heard König's breath rushed.

-You noticed how his eyes were widen and how hard he gripped his own clothes.

-You know what was coming, so you held his hands like you were used to.

-"König, focus on me."

-"I'm sorry."

-"Don't apologize, focus on me and my voice. Everything is okay."

-"We're stuck in an lift. It's not okay. Scheisse."

-"yes it is, I mean it's kinda cozy ?" you tried to joke.

-He snorts.

-"Okay it smells like piss and it's small, but we're alive and breathing." you said.

-"I'm sorry," König said.

-"Don't apologize for being anxious, König. Just focus and breathe slowly."

-You inhale with him slowly.

-He calmed down a bit.

-"I'm sorry," he continued.

-"You don't have to apologize, I told you. It's not your fault the lift is-"

-"Not about this, about us." König said anxiously.

-"Us ?"

-"Yes, I...I was so worried you would leave me if I made a mistake that I ended up to avoid you and, and I couldn't stop and..."

-"And I broke up with you."

-"Yes if had communicated better with you, none of us would be hurt. I'm so sorry." König said, crying.

-"Shh, don't cry. Just focus on my voice and breathe," yousay "Can I ask you a question ?" you asked.

-He nodded.

-" Why are you saying this, now ? It's been three months since we broke up."

-"Because it felt like my last chance. I...I don't believe in fate but being stuck in an lift with you feels like a big coincidence."

-You nodded.

-"yes. I'm sorry too, König. I should have talked before making suppositions. I know you have anxiety, and I didn't consider it."

-"you couldn't have guessed."

-"yes, but I could have waited for you to explain."

-König nodded.

-"Do you feel better ?" you asked.

-"yes, but don't let go my hand, please."

-You nod. You know physical touch helped him a lot.

-"I still have one of your mask at home." you said.

-"I'm sorry I could take it back and-"

-"And my dog refused to let it go. I hide it, but it seems like my dog always finds your mask and sleeps with it like it's a plush."

-König's heart melted. Your dog was a puppy when you started dating him, he helped you with it for two years so of course your dog still feels attached to him.

-"it's cute."

-"I wanted to send you a picture of it, but it didn't feel right. Because I used to do that when we were together. So I didn't know if it was appropriate."

-"It is appropriate." König said, quickly, "I mean, send them please, I miss your dog."

-"okay, I will," you smiled.

-One hour later the lift was fixed, when you came back home you send him a photo of your dog

and...

-One year later, König was on the photo too. Guess your dog and a lift were just what you needed to have another chance.

S O A P :

-Half-naked in a chair.

-That's how you met Soap after your break-up.

-Both of you stared at each other, surprised.

-"I-" you tried to start.

-"I-" he also said.

-"Maybe you can...put your shirt back on ?" you tried.

-"Oh shit, aye. 'm sorry yer colleague says to get ready and..."

-"It's not a striptease club, Soap. She was only talking about your references," you chuckled.

-He smiled.

-You sat on the chair in front of him.

-"Do you still want to do it, even though you know it's me ? I can call a colleague if you prefer."

-"I always have trusted yer art skills. I want ye," He said without hesitation.

-It was true. Back then Soap always supported you when you confessed you wanted to become a tattoo artist.

-"I guess you didn't know who I was. Or perhaps you enjoy being shirtless at your ex's workplace ?" you joked.

-He smiled.

-"Naw, I didnae ken. Plus there's nae picture o' your face on yer Insta. I liked yer work, so I just booked an appointment, I didn't know yer artist name was that," Soap says.

-"yeah" you said. "so, you're here for a cover. I bet you and Gaz made a bet, you were drunk and a creepy tattoo artist accepted to tattoo you ?"

-"Youknow me, well." Soap smiled.

-"How ugly it is ?"

-"I have a portrait of Price on my chest, but it looks like Michael Jackson and under there is written"no pen, no gain.""

-You tried to not laugh.

-"Price ?"

-"It was to show my respect."

-"You can respect someone without having their face tattooed." You laugh.

-"I know, I was drunk and...I regret it. Dae ye think you can do something ?"

-"Well now, I need to look at it."

-"Ye said it was not a striptease club."

-"Guess I was wrong."

-He laughed and put off his shirt.

-You looked at the horrible piece on his right pectorals.

-"Shit, his teeth are stuck to his noses and one eye is like twice the size of the other,"you noticed.

-"I know."

-"But you're lucky."

-"Why ?"

-"Your terrible tattoo artist use light inks, it's easier to cover than a black and white piece. The more the piece is darker, the more it's difficult to cover it."

-"Okay, so ye can do it ?"

-"I can erase Price and no pen, no gain. Yes. Do you have any ideas about your cover ?"

-"You." Soap said.

-You blinked.

-"smooth, Mac Tavish, really smooth."

-"So it's a yes ?"

-"It's a no for me being the tattoo."

-"But ?" Soap smirked.

-"But yes for a coffee."

-He smiled.

-"but before let's erase Price from your body, I don't want to wake up at your side and see him staring at me."

-Soap laughs.

A L E J A N D R O :

(TW /!/, there's some reference about something put in some food)

-You met him in the street at 1 A.M.

-Alejandro had drinks with Los Vaqueros at a bar to celebrate a successful mission. He was going back to his car when he noticed someone who limped.

-He approached this person, maybe they were hurt and...

-"Y/N"

-You looked up.

-Shit.

-"I can explain," you said.

-"Explain why you're limping in a Patrick from Sponge bob in heels ?"

-"...yes ?"

-"Why does it sound like a question ?"

-"Because I don't know, I- It was a friend's birthday and they love Sponge Bob and I saw that on Tik tok. It was fun but..."

-"You sprained your ankle with your heels."

-"yes, but I came on foot."

-Alejandro looked at you.

-"I can drive you."

-"Alejandro, you don't need to. I mean it's already enough awkward and-"

-"I don't want you to hurt yourself, plus it's dangerous for everyone to walk on streets at 1 AM, hurt."

-You knew how Alejandro was serious and stubborn.

-"okay." you said, but Alejandro started to kneel down.

-"Wow, what are you doing ?"

-"Taking off your heels, your ankle is swollen it musts hurt like this."

-You let him do it.

-"I feel like Cinderella," you said.

-"Except you're in Patrick's costume and near to some piss in a street."

-You laughed.

-"I guess you were celebrating." you said pointing at the bar behind you.

-"yes, we finished the mission." he said and quickly looked away.

-This mission.

-The one which made you leave him.

-Alejandro was too absent.

-You tried to accept this, he warned you before you dated but after four years, you couldn't bear it anymore.

-"I see."

-He put your shoes in his backpack and looked at you.

-"I will carry you."

-"You don't need it, Alejandro I can walk." you said while you tried but you only hissed at pain.

-"No, you can't."

-"You can't give me a piggyback ride. You have a backpack and..."

-"Bridal style, it's only the time we reach my car."

-You looked at him hesitant and nodded. Then he carried you. This man didn't have muscles for nothing and you knew it but you were still self-conscious.

-Once you reached his car, he drove to your flat. But when you were supposed to enter to your building, you stayed in the car.

-"Alejandro."

-"Y/N."

-"Thanks for tonight, I know for you it's normal, but not a lot of people would have helped their ex like this."

-"Not a lot of people have amazing exes."

-"You're a smooth talker."

-"I am." He smirked.

-"How's Rudy ?" you asked out of nowhere.

-Alejandro was surprised.

-"Fine, but why do you ask ?"

-"I don't want to go back to my flat."

-"Y/N..."

-"I...I don't know if it's because I'm tired, but shit, I want to cry. Because you met me again like this. But also because I thought I could....I could forget you, but I can't because I know we broke up because of an impulsion. I was upset, yes. Yes you ignored me when I was telling you about your absence. But I never tried to think with you of solutions, I only shouted and I felt bad about it," you said tears in your eyes.

-And Alejandro noticed how your body language was unusual.

-"Did you drink, Y/N ?"

-"No, but I think there was something in the food at the birthday's party," you said.

-"okay, then I'm staying with you to be sure you're okay."

-"thanks. And sorry I shouldn't have vent like this."

-"you're not yourself, it's okay, mi cielo." He said while he carried you at your flat's door then opened it.

-"I missed this," you whispered.

-"Miss what ?"

-"you speaking Spanish. Did you know I subscribe to Duolingo after our first date ?" you said.

-"You never told me that."

-"I wanted to impress you."

-"But you have never spoken Spanish to me."

-"Because I never went more further than unit one on duolingo, I'm shitty at this."

-(sorry if you're fluent or good in Spanish ;)

-He laughed.

-"I could have taught you Spanish." Alejandro smiles while he helped you to remove the pink paint on your face.

-"I never think about it."

-"Because you always want to carry everything." Alejandro whispers.

-"I have to."

-"No."

-"But if I don't, who will ? Nobody will carry me." you answered.

-"I will, I wanted to."

-You stayed quiet.

-"I let the trainings of cadets to Rudy one month ago, I also started some cooperation with another squad so I would have more time."

-"But I broke up with you." you realized.

-"It's okay, you didn't know. I...I wanted to surprise you, but I forgot how much I let you carry for me, how much I relied on you without helping you back."

-Tears were rolling on your cheeks. Alejandro wiped them with his thumbs.

-"I'm sorry, corazon," Alejandro said.

-"Me too."

-"We both need to talk next morning, okay ?"

-"okay" you whispered.

-Then he helped you to go to bed. The next morning he was on your sofa.

-And you talked.

-Maybe some things were unfinished between you.

G A Z :

-You met because Soap is a fanboy.

-Let me explain.

-You and Gaz were high school sweethearts. But after his enlistment you both decided it was better to break up, because with you beginning university and him being in the military you wouldn't have had time for each other.

-And you didn't meet again.

-But years later, Soap invited Gaz and Ghost to a concert.

-Soap had been talking for months about this band he loved.

-He even played the music during missions or on the base.

-He played it to wake everyone up, at one point where Price had banned this music of the base.

-So as a result Gaz and Ghost knew the lyrics and could accompany him to the concert.

-Gaz said 'why not ?' he liked the music.

-But when the concert started, he realized you were the bassist for this band.

-His heart beat faster; the nostalgia was here.

-He knew you played bass, hell he couldn't count how many time he let his head on your lap while you played with a smile.

-"You look like you have seen a ghost." Soap said.

-Ghost snorted. (he only came because he liked the music and because the band's logo was a skull.)

-Gaz gave them a look.

-"You're not funny, but yeah I..I know the bassist."

-Oh boy !

-Gaz should never have told that to Soap.

-Johnny had sparkles in his eyes and was jumping for joy. He begged Gaz to talk to the bodyguards, so they could go to the dressing room and get autographs.

-Gaz tried to explain, but he could barely open his mouth before he found himself standing in front of the guard.

-So when they were in front of the dressing room after the concert, Gaz was sweating. How would you react? It had been years since he saw you. Even though it was on good terms, you both had broken up, he didn't know if you want to meet him again.

-The door opened and...

-"Kyle ?" you asked with a smile.

-Gaz fainted.

-Ghost caught him, and you immediately helped them seat Gaz in a chair in the dressing room.

-"Is he okay ?" you asked Soap.

-"I don't know, it's the first time I've seen him like that. I mean we have seen worst than someone smiling ?" Soap said lost.

-"I'm sorry, it's the stress." Gaz said, "I'm happy to meet you again, Y/N."

-"Yeah, the bodyguard told me you wanted to talk. I was so happy. I mean it's been a while," you smiled.

-"yeah." Gaz answered.

-A silence fell.

-Ghost sighed.

-"Are you both going to let the sexual tension in the room continue or can we know how you both know each other ?" Ghost asked

-You cleared up your throat at the comment.

-"You were high school sweethearts. Our relationship lasted like 2 or 3 years ? But we broke up when Kyle enlisted."

-Soap had a big smirk on his face.

-"Really, high school sweetheart ?" Soap asked

-He was going to tease Gaz on the base about this.

-"Yeah, but it's been awhile. Well, we won't bother you anymore. You played great, and we were just here to congratulate you." Gaz said flustered, he hated to be exposed like this.

-"and to ask if you were free, I mean we love your music and want to know more now we know about your past with Gaz" Soap asked.

-You raised your eyebrows and laughed.

-"Sure, I'm free. I guess you have a lot of embarrassing stories about Gaz."

-"I like you already." Soap smiled.

-Gaz never survived the meeting between you and Soap.

-It was one of his top ten embarrassing moments, after calling Price 'dad' in a meeting with Sheperd.

-But at least he had your number now, years later who knows what could happen.

A L E X :

-You met him at a wedding to arrest him.

-"When we were called for a fight at a wedding, I didn't expect you, Alex. What happened ?" you said while you helped him with his bleeding nose.

-"The bride thought her fiancé who's my friend, was cheating on her with me." Alex said while he furrowed his brows

-"And ?"

-"I wasn't. Leo had coffee on his suit, so I brought him a new one and when she walked on us, she saw him half-naked, and I red-faced because I had run from the shop to the wedding."

-You laughed.

-"She had quite a punch," you said while you looked at his broken nose.

-"Yes, she could compete with Price honestly." Alex sighed.

-You didn't say anything else while your colleagues calmed the bride.

-"I guess you're no longer invited to this wedding anymore," you joked.

-"I guess there won't be a wedding anymore either." he added while he laughed.

-"Do you want to see a doctor, or are you okay ?"

-"I'm okay, it's just nosebleed, nothing I haven't dealt with before."

-"Well I should go now that the situation is fixed."

-"Yeah."

-You began to leave, when he called out your name.

-"Yes ?" you answered.

-"It was...nice to see you again."

-"Yeah"

-"I'll text you once I'm home."

-"Okay."

-You left.

-Alex hurried home as quickly as he could to his home as fast as he can.

-Maybe some things were unfinished, like this wedding.

If you want more COD : COD masterlist

And if you want more of my works in other fandoms : my masterlist

[allthelovenina]

Don't leave(Levi Ackerman x reader)

Warning: smut, grief and spoilers of season 3, possible grammatical and dictation errors (sorry...T-T)

The days after the Shiganshina battle were nothing like the days prior, one could say the lives of the remaining scouts were divided into two parts by this major event.

Levi was no exception, except that he was perhaps too good at hiding it. Levi was a grown man, he had been a grown man for too long not because he was old but rather because he'd had to grow up too early. However, no matter how much of a great actor, a grown man or whatever people would call it he was, because his façade was out of the window the moment he was alone with her.

After the burial, a day after the battle, when all the corpses were taken back within the walls, Levi needed a break. He excused himself after the funeral and Commander Hange didn't want to bug him. Even they had changed. An unknown lady followed him, she didn't bring any attention to herself though, many civilians attended the funeral of their heroes. The 199 soldiers alongside Commander Erwin had dedicated their hearts to humanity.

He had keys, he opened the door of her house. After a while, she arrived at her house and stepped into her room, only to find the strongest soldier on her bed. His expression was similar to a crying face, although not a single tear was seen on his pale face. He had been looking down when she entered the room, her entrance snapped him out of his thoughts.

Her gaze softened. "Hello there..." she removed her black overcoat. The black dress underneath was nothing fancy, perfect for the funeral she had just attended.

He whispered. "Hello yourself." They hadn't spoken since they came back from the battle. He only had time to sleep-pass out from exhaustion- and take back the corpses of his fallen comrades after sending her a letter, explaining her exactly what had happened. She sat next to him on the bed, opened her arms silently and offered him a hug. Of course, Levi basically threw himself in her arms as she wrapped them around his body and rested her hand on the back of his head to stroke his hair.

He hid his face in her neck. "You did all you could've done yesterday, you know?" She whispered in his ear. Damn, she knew what he needed to hear all the time. "I'm very proud of you...once again, you proved why they call you humanity's strongest."

A sob escaped from his mouth, though the tears weren't streaming. Yet. "Kenny told me something..." she raised an eyebrow. Levi had only talked about Kenny once. "Everyone was a slave of something..." he continued. "I think I understand now...I'm a slave of my strength and the responsibilities that follow it."

Silently, he cried. Two tears fell from his face as her arms were tightened around him. "Wanna talk about it?"

He pulled away from her grip. "Do you think...that I made a mistake?"

"No...and I don't think you'll ever regret it either you just...need some time to process everything. Everyone does" He rubbed his temples. "I wanna rest...but I can't. There's so much I need to get done, yet..." She interrupted him. "Rest hereas much as you want, okay? I'm sure Hange wouldn't mind if you stay here for the night."

He sighs. "No...I can't leave them in this situation." She smiled, a bitter smile, one could say. "You're so kind...but I'm sure they have already called the day off due to the funeral, otherwise they wouldn't let you leave." He closed his eyes, he couldn't think of anything, he didn't 'want' to think. He just wanted to be with her, the only thing that felt certain and safe at this point was her presence, her house, and everything about her.

"Darling...what can I do to make you feel better?" She had never seen him like this since they met, which happened in the little shop next to her residence, her teashop. His eyes were puffy and red, yet his eyes barely produced any tears. Her heart sank. "What about some tea, dear? I just bought a pack, I'll buy much more for the shop if you find it worthy, after all, you are my main customer and the tea tester." She smiled.

He nodded silently. Slowly removed his boots and cloak as his lover left for tea. A few minutes later, the tea was ready, in the cups in their hands.

"It's...so good." He drinks eagerly, she thought that's probably the only drink he'd had since the battle. "Really?" He nodded. As he finished the tea, a sense of guilt washed him over. His expression, however, was never overlooked by her. She held him tightly and left pepper kisses all over him. Ghostly kisses were placed on his forehead first, then his cheeks and finally, his nose.

"Let me take care of you...I'll make you forget everything for a moment or two, okay?"

Levi remained silent, he wanted this yet in his mind he didn't deserve it. The guilt of letting go of everything for a moment never won over his desire for her.

She never waited for an answer, instead her hand rested on the back of his head, pulling him close enough as their lips met. He closed his eyes, he only wished to forget everything for a moment and relax. Soon enough, she removed the black dress, sitting on his lap, facing him almost naked. She rolled her hips on his fully clothed crotch, getting him slowly worked up.

He finally gave up and let his desire take control. His hands roamed all over her body while he buried his face in her neck, biting and sucking it red. He went for her earlobe, gently tucking it with his teeth before adding more pressure on them and leaving a bite which made her let out a breathy gasp.

One hand gripped her buttock as the other grabbed her beast harshly. He would usually be more gentle but tonight, he just needed to take the tension out and she was more than willing to help.

He pushed her on the bed and took off his pants and shirt. Then he came back to bed and sat next to her before grabbing her by the arm and pulling her close.

"Ride my thigh."

He leaned onto the headboard, watching her following his orders. She placed her knees on each side of his thigh and sat on it. She rested her hands on his shoulders for balance as she started moving on his thigh with her panties on.

As she was riding him, his hands travelled to the back of her bra, undoing it. "Don't stop. Keep going until I tell you." Thus, she didn't stop when he removed her bra and grabbed her breasts into his fists.

"Move faster." He barked as he pinched her nipples, pulling them in his direction, guiding her moves. She fastened her pace and soon enough, the fraction was too much and yet not enough. She needed more, she was growing needier. She panted. "Le...vi..."

He grabbed her by the waist and lifted her. "Remove your panties." And soon enough, the last piece of clothing was gone and she was on her back, legs spread as the man's head was between her thighs.

All he wanted was to be as close as possible to her. As if he was holding on so tightly to the only pleasant thing that was left in his life.

The tip of his tongue teased her clit, his nails dug into her thighs while he was grabbing them. He ran his tongue all over her slit and then connected his lips with her core, moving as his tongue found its way in her, savouring her taste. "Fuck...don' stop, love..." he sped up. Basically, fucking her with his tongue while his hand moved to her clit, massaging it in a circular motion. As she was getting closer to the edge and her knees began to shake, Levi pulled out and took away his hand. She gasped at the ruined orgasm. Before she could protest, he grabbed her ankle and rest it on his shoulder. Taking out his cock, circling it around her hole before slipping the head in slowly.

He left wet kisses on his ankle and moved upper her calves and finally her knees. Once he let go of her leg, he grabbed her hand into his and moved further into her. His eyes never left hers. There was so much he wanted to tell her, how much he loved her, how much he appreciated her, how much she made his life better. Yet, all the words in his thoughts came out as one simple "Don't ever leave." It honestly broke her heart, how scared and scarred he was behind that tough guy façade. She moaned as he was now further inside. "Never...Captain..."

After a while, he started moving. "No. Not captain, say my name." His grip on her hands tightened as if she'd leave if he didn't hold tightly enough. "Levi...fuck...please..." His motions were slow, he wanted this moment to last, nevertheless, he enjoyed watching her being desperate for him. His hands let go of hers, instead, he wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer and moving in even further. He buried his face in her soft neck, her scent made him almost drunk as he started pacing his moves while kissing her neck. One hand moved to the back of her shoulder, pulling her even closer-if 'Closer' was possible at this point-.

His thrusts grew faster and harder while her moans grew louder. His name never dropped from her lips. He did it so easily, thrusting into her so fast like it was nothing, grabbing her breasts with one hand and biting her neck at the same time.

"Le... Levi... I'm close...ah..." Before she could finish her sentence, she cummed undone on his cock and he proudly fucked her through it even faster. He was close himself, but the gentleman he was, he'd never cum before her.

"Wanna fill you up..." he slowed down, and whispered in her ear. "Fill you up so much you won't be 'without me'." And he did fill her to the beam.

He pulled out, laid next to her all sweaty with heavy breaths.

His mind was blank, nothing except her was in his mind. All he wanted was her and she was right next to him. It was really unlikely for him to have his wishes met but at least she was alive and promised him to never leave.

"I'll...draw you the bath." He said while his hand traveled to his cheek, cupping her face.

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "I love you so much."

[asheloop]

Party wasn't that boring after all

Warnings: +18 content, NSFW, oral m receiving, virgin!rindou, fem!reader, alcohol use, Tenjiku!Rindou

Synopsis: From being bored at a party to giving Rindou his first head.

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It was almost 1.00 am.

The party was getting kinda boring, and so was I.

Some people were sitting and drinking, others were dancing in the middle of the room, and I saw some couples desperately kissing down the hallways.

I don't even know why I came here in the first place. That happens when i do what my friend says: "It's gonna be fun," she told me. Sure, she is having a lot of fun with that guy in some room of the house. It was obvious that she came here because of him, and now I was here all alone waiting for her to finish so we could go back home.

"What is this? a funeral?" said a blonde girl. It looks like she wasn't enjoying the party, neither.

"Yeah, what if we play something?" says other girl from the other side of the room.

"I like that idea. What about 'I never have I ever'?"

A bunch of people agrees with her. Well, at least I can do more than standing in a corner with a beer in my hand, wishing I was asleep in my comfy bed.

I sit between two already too drunk guys.

"Hey Rindou, come join us," the same blonde said to the guy sitting on the couch with his phone in one hand and a drink on the other. He was new in town, we have to include him.

He, with no desire to play, joins the round and sits right in front of me.

"Okay, everyone knows the game, but i'm gonna repeat the rules in case anybody doesn't. So, someone says something they have or have never done before, and anyone who has done it must drink."

"Well, who starts?" asks some guy.

There was a silence for a few seconds until a brave man said, "Ok, i'll go first."

Everyone stares at him with curiosity. "I never have I ever kissed with tongue."

You have to be kidding.

I lift my can of beer and bring it to my lips, looking at the rest of the players, everyone drinks, even that boy Rindou.

Some complained about the fact that it was an easy question.

Now is the blonde girl's turn. "I never have I ever got catched masturbating."

I remember that time when I was in my room, discovering my body, I thought I was home alone but then my mom opens the door, asking some stupid question I don't even remember, and see me with my hand between my thighs and my panties down at my knees, god I wish I could erase that memory from my mind.

Ashamed, I take another sip.

I feel an intense look on me, I look for it, and I find it's Rindou's, I hold his gaze until he looks away.

It's the turn of the guy sitting next to her. "I never have a I ever been arrested."

No one moves a muscle till a sigh is heard, and the blonde with galsses takes a short sip.

I'm a little surprised. I wasn't expecting it from the new guy.

An awkward silence is formed, I don't realize I was staring at him until someone called my name. Right, it's my turn.

"Umm, I never have I ever had sex" was the first thing that came to my mind, I heard some laughs at my question, and everybody drank except Rindou.

When he sees that everyone in the round drank, he does it as well, hesitating and thinking nobody noticed, oh but I did.

The game keeps going a couple of rounds. When we got bored, the host of the party turned up the music and the people went back to dancing a lot more drunk than before.

I stand up and make my way to the bathroom so I can retouch my makeup and get away from all the noise.

When I arrived, I knocked on the door, which was closed.

"Coming," says a deep voice from the other side.

A few minutes pass by, and then the door opens.

"Well, hi," I greet him with a smile on my face.

I would lie if I said I didn't find him attractive.

"Hi," he says, showing no emotion.

"So... you've been in jail?" was the first thing that crossed to mind, and I immediately regret asking when I see his face. He rolls his eyes, not wanting to talk about it, I get it.

"My name is y/n."

"I know," said in the same tone as before.

"I noticed you didn't drink with the sex question." Let's be honest. The fact that he was a virgin surprised me as much as it turned me on.

The light was too low, but I could still see his cheeks turning red.

"So? Where are you going with this?" he adjusted his glasses, nervous. "Wanna make fun of me or something?"

"No~, I was just wondering if you wanted to change that" straight to the point, no turns.

"W-what?" he says a little confused. Cute.

"Oh, come on, I've seen the way you were looking at me down there"

He falls silent, shocked. I get closer slowly.

Every step I take forward, he takes it backward. That's how we end up inside the bathroom. He stops when his hips bumped into the vanity. I get a little bit closer, just to make him more nervous.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked, consent first.

"Yes, please" he says. And I do as a said, with one hand I grab him by his jawline and the other goes to his hip. I approached to kiss him, and he lowered his head. The kiss starts sloppy and lazy. To warm him up, I grab his hands and guide them to my waist. He moans in the middle of the kiss, and I smile. He tightened me against his firm and tense body. I can feel his hard on pressing against my abdomen.

As time passes, he kisses me with more excitement. The kiss becomes passionate and wet. His tongue comes into play, asking for permission to enter in my mouth, which I consent, parting my lips so his tongue could find mine. I wrap my arms around his neck.

After a few minutes, I pull away. He doesn't want for the kiss to end and follows my lips still with his eyes closed.

I let out a soft laugh. That's when he opens his eyes with dilated pupils that I can see through his glasses.

I run my hand over his abdomen, up his chest, and grab his shoulders. I come closer and get on my tiptoes so my lips brush against his ear.

"Have you ever got head before?" I asked him, and I could swear I felt his dick throb.

Rindou just shakes his head with half-opened mouth a his eyes full with lust.

"You want to?"

"Uh-huh" he nods anxious.

I lick his earlobe, move to his neck where I left a soft kiss and he flinched. Rindou's breath quickened.

I get on my knees without breaking eye contact. Without wasting time, I unzip his pants and then pull them down to his ankles.

I rub his cock through his boxers and after that I take it out.

"Oh god," I sigh. "So big," I say to myself. Measures almost 8 inches.

I grab his dick with my hand that looks so small around it. Slowly, I go up and down his shaft with my fist.

"F-fuck, I'm s-sensitive," he says, nearly crying.

I bring my lips to his dick, going slow, I give a long lick from the base, not missing any pulsating vein, to the reddened tip, which I suck on it hard. I lift my gaze, looking at him in the eyes. He can barely keep them open.

"D-dont look at me like that."

I start to rub my clit through my panties, I could feel my arousal drenching them.

Could taste his precum on my tongue, I feel he is about to cum and I go faster on him.

"S-stop stop stop," he pushes me away.

"No~ please let me finish," I say with doe eyes, wanting him to cum in my mouth.

"Fuck it" he surprises me when he grabs my head with both hands and puts me back to work. Pushing his hips at a feral pace that I have to hold my breath so I won't choke.

"O-oh f-fuck, you're so good to me," he moans loud. I have to grab on his thighs, feeling a little dizzy.

"S-shit I'm gonna cum, gonna cum, gonna cum" he pushes me away again and I stick my tongue out. He gives a few pumps to his cock with a tight fist on it and let out a deep groan while he cums. I don't waste any drop and swallow all of it, maintaining eye contact.

I smiled at him, and then I opened my mouth to show him I swallowed it all.

"I said stop looking at me like that. Gonna make me hard again."

I go back to my feet and kiss him again desperately.

"Fuck me already."

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Hi~~ hope you enjoyed, doble tap if you liked it, reblog if you want <3

[6lostgirl6]

Ayeee bebe can you write something for me where you and your (shitty) friends get captured by the Hewitts and Tommy immediately takes a liking to you and basically begs his mama to not kill you and, seeing as he’s never acted like this about a girl before, she’s says okay. Basically you don’t really care that your friends were killed cause they were shitty to you all the time and you develop feelings for Tommy and you guys fall in love and maybe a part where a victim hurts you trying to get away and Tommy goes full protective murder man mode on them then he fixes you up…….? THANK YOU 🖤❤️

(Un)fortunate Circumstances

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt x Fem!Reader

TW: cursing, bullying, gore, character death, implied cannibalism

You were sitting on the stone bench in the courtyard located behind the dorms of your college. You kept re-reading the letter, hands trembling and hoping that somehow the letters would change and release you from this situation.

It was offically spring break and you were ecstatic to finally spend time away from your friends that has causes nothing but heartache throughout the semester. However, the letter in your hands changed your plans in a second.

It was a letter that offically declared the passing of your grandfather, attached with it was his will, declaring that you were now the rightful owner of his estate and surrounding land in the middle of Texas. When you were a little girl, you used to visit him during the summer to spend time with him. He was lonely since he lost his wife a couple years before you were born and he always looked forward to your visitations. However, it has been nearly a decade since you last visited him and you felt your heart breaking at the realization.

Still, you could feel the stress beginning to build at the problems you would have to deal with over the course of your vacation. Discussing your grandfather's funeral, arranging the estate, decide if you even wanted to keep the damn thing, etc.

As you continued to ponder, you were unable to detect two college girls heading towards you.

"What's this?" You heard before the letters were snatched from your grasp, the delicate paper threatening to tear. "A letter from a secret lover, y/n?"

"Hey!" You quickly stood and turned towards the group, instnatly recognizing them as your college 'friends.'

Tabitha, the leader of your friend group read through the letter as Alex snickered behind her. "Aww, your grandpa died? That really sucks." She said, fake sympathy in her tone.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance. "Okay, Tabby, can I have that back now? That's important." You tried reaching for the letters but Tabitha quickly dodged from your reach.

"Oh my god! You own an estate now?!" She practically screamed in excitement while Alex stepped closer to read the letters in her hands better. "Shut up! We could totally use this for a huge party!"

"Wait, no, no, that's not happening!" You interjected, quickly snatching the letters from her hands successfully which made her glare towards you. "I'm not even sure what I want to do with it. I was gonna-"

"Like, check it out? We should totally go with you!" Alex interrupted, your other friend that was practically Tabitha's sidesick that copied everything she did.

You shook your head and turned to grab your satchel resting on the bench. "No, that's alright."

"No! We insist, you shouldn't go alone, anyways, there could be like murderers or something." Tabitha said, grabbing your shoulders and giving them a little shake. "We wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

'Not like you would care if I died anyway.' You thought to yourself.

Fuller, Texas was ever changeless. Despite how many years it has been since you last appeared, it seemed that not many structures have been replaced. However, when your vehicle passed through the small town, you noticed the lack of civilization.

When you were younger, there were plenty of people that roamed the streets doing their usual activities, now it seemed completely deserted. You were envious at the solitude because your friends have done nothing but complain about the heat and boredom.

"Are we almost there yet?!" Tabitha exclaimed, fiddling with the a/c despite it already being at the highest setting.

Your hands directing the steering wheel clenched, annoyance seeping through your conscious. "We just need to go further down route 17 and we'll be there." You replied, slightly seething at her behavior.

After thirty minutes of driving and preventing yourself from steering into a tree, you have finally arrived at the estate. Throughout the entirety of the drive down route 17, you only drove passed one police car.

The building was old and seemed to be falling apart in some places, however, it looked perfect. You weren't expecting the sudden sentimental feeling to creep into your chest, staring at the building as Tabitha and Alex quickly left the car to run up the porch.

"Fucking hurry up, y/n!" Alex yelled, staring towards the car that you still resided in. "We wanna use the bathroom!"

You sighed to yourself before exiting the car.

However, before you could head up the creaky steps of the porch, you could hear the sounds of sirens and tires disturbing the gravel a little ways down the road.

You turned towards the sound, confusion plastered in your features, noticing it was the same police car that you've seen in town. After pulling up onto the makeshift driveway, the car parked just near your own vehicle. You were slightly unnerved while Tabitha and Alex stepped down from the porch to take their place next to you.

The sheriff turned off the sirens and the engine of the car before stepping out, placing his hat upon his head. "Afternoon, ladies." He greeted, thick Southern accent lacing his words. You quickly noticed the shotgun he pulled out of the front seat before shutting the door.

Tabitha and Alex refused to say anything, a little apprehensive while you continued to stare at him unsure, yet you tried to remain calm at the situation.

"Afternoon! Is...there something wrong?" You asked, watching as he headed towards where you were stationed. You tensed a little, eyeing the deadly weapon as he gave you three a smirk.

"Just making sure you ladies ain't up to no good here." He responded, peering at you over his shades, "Man that lived here passed away recently, from my knowledge he had no family."

"Oh! He was actually my grandfather, I was supposed to look after this place for a while." You corrected softly, lightly pushing Tabitha away as she tried holding your arm.

"Got any proof of that miss...?"

"(L/N). It's in my car if you'd like to take a look, Officer..." You glanced towards his badge, "Officer Hoyt." You replied, small smile.

"Go on then, ain't got all day." Hoyt replied, gesturing to your car with the barrel of his gun. He was starting to get a little hostile and you didn't want to set him off by being slow.

You nodded and quickly started to head towards your car, the officer following behind you while your friends crept along, holding each other. The sight made you want to roll your eyes but you didn't want the man with the gun to think you had an attitude.

"It's in my glove compartment." You informed, unlocking the car and leaning in to take out the letters you safetly kept stashed away.

*Click*

You froze, eyes widening at the distinct sound of the shotgun being cocked and feeling the pressure of the barrel against the back of your skull. You slowly raised your hands by your head, the papers held in your shaky grasp.

"Now, we are gonna take this nice and easy and set you girls in the back of my car. Think ya'll can do that?" Hoyt prompted, glancing at the other girls that were close to pissing themselves. "I wasn't askin' nicely!"

Tabitha was sobbing, gripping on Alex as they both hesitated in going into the police car. "Sir, please-"

Alex quickly chimed in, without a doubt esculating the situation further. "What kind of sheriff are you?! You can't do this!"

"Just get in the fucking car, dammit!" You shouted, frustrated and a little scared that your friends were going to get you killed since Hoyt had no problem keeping the barrel against your head. "Just fucking listen to him!"

"You heard the lady." He smirked, placing down the shotgun. You barely had a moment to take a breath before he roughly grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and drag you to your friends.

Tabitha and Alex quickly stepped back and watched as Hoyt opened the door to the backside and practically threw you onto the seats. With little persuasion, your friends quickly followed.

Hoyt was getting ready to slam the door closed before Alex decided to make one last statement. "You can't do this! I know my rights!" Her words were choked behind the tears that streamed down her face.

Hoyt leaned down slightly, peering over his shades to look at her with a scowl on his face. "You have the right to shut the fuck up." With that, the barrel of the shotgun was pointed right in her face.

Tabitha screamed as the shotgun boomed loudly, Alex's brain matter scattered across the seat and decorating your clothes and faces. As Tabitha continued screaming in fear, Hoyt closed the door and placed himself in the driver's seat. Without another word, he turned on the engine and started making his way out of the driveway and down the road.

You couldn't scream, you couldn't even cry at the situation you were in. You didn't know if you were simply going into shock or shutting down. Yet, the image of Alex's face caving in from the powerful blast of the shotgun repeated itself in your mind on a tangent loop. Yet, you couldn't feel anything other than relief. Relief that it was her, not you.

After a few minutes, Hoyt glanced at the rearview mirror, capturing your gaze as it peered into his own.

"You're an awfully quiet one." He smirked before returning his eyes to the road. "Tommy would sure like you."

'Tommy?'

You flinched as Hoyt abruptly slammed on the breaks, nearly launching Tabitha and you out of your seats. The entire ride, Tabitha had been clinging onto your arm, sobbing into your shoulder as you resisted the urge to push her off you. Throughout the journey, your mind had completely shut down and you were just now able to analyze your current surroundings.

You glanced through the window beside you, pressing your forehead against the glass while Hoyt grabbed his shotgun and exited the car, muttering to himself something you couldn't make out. The building you were parked near was an estate, slightly bigger than your grandfather's. You continued looking around, slightly nudging Tabitha away and noticing a barn along with other structures including a cattle pen and junkyard.

"Thomas, get your ass out here, boy!" Hoyt boomed, slamming the door closed with a slam causing you to flinch slightly.

Tabitha took this moment to make things a little worse, gripping your shoulder desperately and whispering in your ear, "W-We need to get outta here. You and me, we gotta escape." Her tears continued dripping down her cheeks and you wondered when she would finally become dehydrated and keep quiet.

Suddenly, the sounds of revving machinery and a door slamming open and closed filled your ears. The deafening sounds caused you to quickly pull away from Tabitha to gaze through the glass window. You gasped, seeing the behemoth of a man charging towards the vehicle with a chainsaw raised above his head in a threatening manner. You quickly backed away from the window as the enormous being paused in front of Hoyt, as if awaiting instruction.

You realized that this man was Tommy.

You watched the exchange, words from Hoyt muffled and it was hard to understand what he was saying.

"Now I want you to take this pretty bitch," He gestured towards Tabitha, "down to the basement for supper, you understand?"

When the giant man simply nodded he continued, a smirk growing on his face. "I brought you somethin' special, boy. Pretty, young plaything for you since you lonely."

The colossal man hesitated before turning off the chainsaw's engine and making his way towards the car in large strides. Practically ripping the door off its hinges, Tabitha screamed as Alex's bloodied figure was carelessly thrown out of the car. Thomas proceeded to grab Tabitha and drag her out of the car. You forced yourself to wedge away from her grabbing hands in an effort to save herself.

With a loud grunt, Thomas wrapped his arms around her waist and yanked her from the seats, throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and rushing away to follow Hoyt's instruction. Her screeches fading away as he entered the house.

You were about to open your car door until Hoyt turned towards you, leaving you frozen as you awaited for your own fate.

'Oh, shit.' You thought to yourself, watching as Hoyt made his way over to your side and yanked the door open. Not even a second later, he grabbed you by the collar and dragged you out of the car.

You struggled to adjust your footing, hopelessly trying to prevent yourself from falling flat on your face. However, the sheer force of Hoyt's rough handling resulted in you resulted in you slamming into the ground.

"Fuck!" You cursed, feeling the stinging sensation on your palms from scraping them against the dirt and small pebbles.

"Damn bitch, you really are we-!" Suddenly, Hoyt's words were cut off with a shout, his grip ripped away from you and you took the time to situate yourself to sitting on your ass.

You gasped a little, glancing up and witnessing Thomas hovering over Hoyt menacingly, breathing heavily and without his chainsaw. Witnessing that, it insinuated that he ran to your aid. "The fuck's the matter with you, boy?!"

Thomas ignored him, turning towards you and bent down to, you assume, to manhandle you like he did with Tabitha. However, you were surprised when instead, he proceeded to check over you.

His giant hands hesitated as he grabbed your wrists to check over your own. The surface of his hands were warm and on the verge of engulfing your own as he checked for any signs of serious injury.

He grunted in irritation, seeing the small cuts on your palms from your fall and giving Hoyt a look. Without bothering to listen to the smaller man's complaints, he grabbed you around the waist and lifted you up. He placed you over his shoulder, more gentle and secure than with Tabitha, hand gripping the back of your thighs to prevent you from falling or struggling in your opinion.

He quickly walked away while you clung onto the dirty fabric of his shirt in slight fear. You didn't know what he was going to do to you or what he did with Tabitha.

As he entered his home, you expected him to throw you down into the basement, however he turned the opposite direction and headed into another room. From your upside-down perspective, you figured it was the living room. He paused in front of the couch, slowly and carefully placing you down on the cushions.

You looked upward, staring at him as he turned to take a seat besides you, breathing heavily and avoiding your gaze, his own towards the ground.

You felt a little sick, realizing you thought he looked attractive in this moment.

You hesitated, not wanting to set him off by bothering him further, yet you couldn't relax until you had some answers, answers for your fate. "Tommy?"

Tommy barely acknowledged you, head tilting in your direction without tearing his gaze away from the wooden floor.

Finally, you could feel the tears cloud your vision, "Am I going to die here?"

Apparently not.

A couple days have passed since you've arrived at the Hewitt house. Survival wasn't necessary too difficult after you discovered your purpose for staying alive.

You were supposed to be Thomas' wife, that much was given when Hoyt kept making horrid jokes that were borderline sexual about you and Thomas' relationship or lack thereof. Despite your 'relationship' just starting, Thomas' been very touchy and overprotective. Whenever Hoyt would bother you, he would grasp your wrist and pull you out of the room.

Currently, you were in the kitchen, taking out some plates to prepare for dinner, taking some of the load from Luda Mae. The rest were somewhere in the house, Thomas most likely in the basement or outside. While setting down the plates on the table, you still felt a little sick. Your mind replaying the traumatic event of eating Alex during your first night here. You shuddered, refusing to remember how much you threw up when Hoyt teased you about your supposed friend.

You gasped, feeling an arm wrap itself around your throat while the other wrapped around your waist. Instinctively, you struggled against the attacker, hoping in vain that you were able to throw them off.

"S-Stop struggling!" You froze at the sound of Tabitha's croaky voice that was on the verge of disappearing, eyes wide. "Y-You need to help me."

"Tabitha..." You wheezed, struggling a little more which only made her grip tighten. "You're hurting me..."

"I-I don't want to..." She whispered and you gasped, feeling the sharpness of something poking your side. You quickly realized it was a knife that she must have grabbed while you were distracted. "But I will if you don't help me..."

"Damn you." You managed to muster up as your friend began leading you towards the exit of the kitchen.

"J-Just listen to me, I wanna leave but you can stay and I won't tell anyone. You just need to let me escape." She glanced around before nudging you to the hallway. "We're gonna leave through the back."

Despite yourself, you smirked as you listened to her instructions and headed down the hallway. The bitch finally wanted to be a badass. As you made your way to the door, that smirk dropped.

Quick as a bullet, you forced yourself against Tabitha, slamming her into the wall with yourself as added weight. Tabitha yelped from the force, struggling to right herself as you pulled away.

"Thomas!" You took this time to rush down the hallway, however arms wrapped around your legs, causing you to slam into the ground. "Fuck! Hoyt, Hoyt!" You screamed as Tabitha tried crawling onto you.

"What in the hell?!" You heard the distant voice of Hoyt from the other room and never thought you would enjoy hearing him yell around the house. "Thomas!"

"Hoyt!" You screamed, struggling against Tabitha as she tried pinning you down. "In the hallway!"

Hoyt appeared around the corner, shotgun in his hands as he assessed the situation. "How the hell you get out, bitch?!" He yelled, pointing the gun at her.

"Fuck you!" She yelled and with sudden strength, she wrapped an arm around your shoulders and bent you back uncomfortably. You paused as you felt the knife press against your throat again. "I'll kill her, I fucking swear!"

The smirk returned on your face, calling her Bluff yet you decided to entertain her. You knew she wasn't a killer and you knew she was going to die here.

The hallway was still, quiet, before a smirk begin appearing on Hoyt's face, lowering his shotgun. "Why don't you tell that to him?"

Slow, booming footsteps behind you made the beat of your heart quicken before the looming shadow of a person shrouded you and Tabitha in darkness. Heavy breathing made your racing heart skip a beat.

"Thomas..." You whispered to yourself.

"What the fuck..." Tabitha croaked before glancing behind her, screaming when she saw the monsterous creature standing over you. "Fuck! What the fuck!"

Using her distraction, you managed to push her off, crawling away towards Hoyt as Thomas' rage-filled groans and revving of an engine filled the air. Pausing at Hoyt's feet, you glanced behind you.

Thomas gripped your friend by her shirt, using his profound strength to throw her against the wall. Using his momentum, he plunged the spinning chain through her chest, her yells turning into fatal screams. Flesh ripped apart and blood spashing everywhere, your friend fell to the ground as your man pulled the metal out from her chest.

Hoyt glanced down at you before returning his gaze to Thomas as the giant man turned off the chainsaw. "Clean this shit up." He left without another word.

Thomas was staring towards the ground where your friend's mangled body was resting. He grunted before turning towards you, his dark eyes boring into your own.

You smiled towards him as he made his way over to you. In that moment you realized, that Thomas was always going to be your protector, despite these unfortunate circumstances.

Spam Liking = Blocked

Taglist: Comment to be added!!

@prettywhenibleed @ghoulgeousimmaculate @rottent33th @slaasherslut @strrvnge

[aoxizu]

i have another 2.1 character dynamic post in the recesses of my brain but i need to get this out first

star rail's 2.1 update main plotline leans a lot more into existentialism and absurdism than i thought it would which is a really nice surprise

like i thought before 2.0 that at most it was just going to be some "oh no capitalism bad ipc bad cults also bad" thing but honestly what we got is so much more interesting. the spoilers start now

also massive disclaimer i am not a philosophist and actually i really don't like philosophy because it makes my brain hurt and i would much rather just look at logical nice things like math and plants so. if i get anything wrong please correct me

acheron's past and how she became an emanator of nihility reminds me somewhat of the absurdist theme of how people always look for meaning when there isn't any, until they finally realize that the universe is meaningless

and the entire path of nihility basically is a road towards that realization that people tread on, and the difference between the real world and star rail is that in the real world here we have people who will see that and then go write a book about a guy not crying at his mother's funeral, whereas in star rail it seems that just accepting that the universe is meaningless turns you into a pathstrider or even emanator of the nihility (not sure if i remember the details, correct me if i'm wrong)

and then aventurine's whole motivation is trying to understand why the universe is so cruel to him, and to find meaning when you have everything except freedom, both of which are absurdist themes

the leap of faith argument often attributed to søren kierkegaard claims that even though there is no rational logic for believing in god, you should do it anyway because the alternatives are madness, suicide, and ignorance. this was one solution to the problem of confronting the universe's meaninglessness: choosing to believe in a higher being regardless

later world wars i and ii both contributed heavily to the rise of absurdism as people returned from the war, having seen so many others die around them, and then just going back to a normal society with none of what they as individual soldiers had contributed seemingly doing anything. and then it happened again, but on a much greater scale with even more deaths. both wars and the destruction they brought led many people to start questioning why a supposedly moral god could allow this suffering, and this is where camus comes in and says that actually religion and nationalism both aren't good solutions, and instead we should just accept meaninglessness and keep living despite the absurdity

and i think dr ratio's scroll thing kind of relates to that

he tells aventurine to open it when he's about to die, or when he's completely out of answers for the question of how to confront absurdity

and dr ratio's answer for aventurine is to just tell him to keep living, good luck

which is. yeah

it's the argument that there are more answers to nihilism than just 1) going insane, 2) pretending like it doesn't exist, and 3) dying

it's the bold claim that despite everything, you can still choose to live

sure nothing makes sense but that does not detract from your life. it doesn't need to make sense at all

and with the understanding that things do not need to fit our human definition of meaning, we can continue on knowing our true place in the universe

and with that aventurine walks into the very big black hole like look at that thing you cannot tell me there is no symbolism there

let's go back to acheron.

in the part where you get a snippet of acheron's conversation with some guy just before this cutscene, the other party states that "[IX] leave[s] woven strands of fate for humans to walk, and together THEY weave a great shadow...And this shadow silently envelops them."

which to me sounds like a statement on how people across time and space have again and again come to the same question, what is the meaning of life?

and acheron's whole color thing seems to mean that she is one of the few who, after walking so far on the path of nihility, somehow have not died yet, be it from madness or something else

like it seems implied that many many more have seen the meaninglessness of the universe and have not reacted as well as acheron has

ok i have more to say about the elation and how it in turn relates to the nihility but that will have to come later but there is. a lot of interesting things there to explore

once again disclaimer: I Am Not A Philosophist And Do Not Know What The Correct Definitions Of These Words I'm Throwing Around Are. thank you for coming to my ted talk that was more of a longwinded ramble

[mrynnn]

My thoughts on The secret history

I just got done re-reading the book and have listened to the audiobook. I am a huge fan of this book. Something that I never see theorized or mentioned is: that I truly think Henry was conspiring to take out Charles next, There are hints that there was always a power struggle between Henry and Charles (esp when it came to Camila), and Bunny's death only made it worse. it’s shown with the pills but I think Charles's paranoia towards the end is totally warranted. Henry being with Camilla and Charles abusing her, and his unstable drinking; Charles was erratic and becoming unpredictable, and Henry would have never let the whole thing blow over, especially to Camila

it's hinted that Henry did plan possible false evidence tracing it back to Richard (intentionally making Richard write down mathematical equations of poison.

Charles is really fucked up it seems that the murder of Bunny really effected him, unlike the others. Richard said he barely thought of it after it happened and it didn’t really set in but as the reader, we can see that’s not true, with his nightmares his anxiety, etc. Tho the bacchanal is a major part of this story I do think it’s the greatest thing about this book, I assume the bacchanal losing its "impact" throughout the book alludes to its theme. Like Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment, the theme isn't about the Crime (the bacchanal) but the punishment (the consequences of romanticizing an archaic and immoral practice/aestheticism). The story isn't a "who done it" but a "why done it"; it's a psychological breakdown of characters and their actions, so while the bacchanal is at the forefront of the characters' minds, it takes a bigger relevance than it first looks like in the story.

Also Julien in the beginning seems to play a huge part in the book but as you continue reading he’s really not in it too much. I think this was Donna’s way of articulating his influence on the young adults even when he’s not around.

I love the characters all the same even Bunny. I always took Bunny's sleazy comments of homophobia, racism, misogyny, and general annoyance to be a purposeful and easy gate to hate him as a character, just as much as we're wired to be attracted to Henry's allure through Richard's romanticized narrations. The characters are purposely complex, and even in the midst of dislike of Bunny's character, we're made to sympathize with him by his charm cuz the way he would clap them on the back and say “old man” or whatever else was so endearing to me ,and the cold upbringing that we saw he had displayed in his funeral. They're complex characters. Bunny deserved to die just as much as he didn't deserve to die.

Also I see people saying Henry was planning on killing himself this entire time and I'm not sure what to think of it.

I can always talk about how I related to the characters in some of my life situations but that would be weird to say on the internet.

anyway

[feyhunter78]

Pink Pastels Pt 18

Description: Miguel deals with Todd, and has a late night visitor—you.

Pt 19

The purr of car engines overhead, the slight rattling of the bridge, the coos of pigeons and the soft lapping of the waves fills Miguel's ears as he stares down at the waterlogged corpse at his feet.

“Lyla, how many people know about this?”

“About the mauled body of your new girlfriend's ex-boyfriend?” Lyla smirks, her heart shaped sunglasses low on her nose as she observes the scene.

Miguel sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Lyla, please just answer my question.”

“Just a few displaced people along the river, the Swedish shipping vessel that reported the sighting, and the Coast Guard has the call record, but since you got lucky with the currents and since I made a few more urgent calls to the Coast Guard, they haven't set eyes on him yet.” She tells him, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Thank you.” He says as he zips up the body bag and tosses it over his shoulder.

“So, what are you going to do with him?” She asks, flickering in and out of his masked vision.

“Acid.”

“Acid? Lame.” Lyla huffs.

He snorts. “It's quick, efficient, and less likely to leave a trace.”

“Yeah, but wasn't he like a total dick to y/n?”

He grunts in response as he swings through the city until he finds the disposal grounds of Janson Inc, the manufacturing company you mentioned Todd works for.

“I mean, I thought you'd go way more psycho than you did.” She says, laughter on the horizon of her tone.

“Lyla” He warns, as he heaves the body bag containing Todd into the acid, watching with no small amount of satisfaction as the fabric, flesh, and bone dissolve.

“Ok, ok, I'm just saying, I think I know you pretty well and-”

“I want him forgotten, I want y/n to forget about him.”

Lyla says nothing for a moment, then sighs heavily. “Miguel…you know it doesn't work like that. You might have been able to easily replace this universe's version of you, but that doesn't mean you can just as easily replace Todd.”

Miguel turns from the acid, the surrounding area bathed in a sickly green glow. “I know.”

“And you know y/n's different from Ana, Xina, Dana, and even Tempest, she cares about you, about Gabi. She really cares about Gabi. She's not just going to jump you now that her ex-boyfriend is gone. She's going to weigh the consequences.”

A smirk tugs at his lips, and for a moment his mind supplies him with the memory of you begging for him, his name on your lips like a fervent plea as you fall apart on his thigh. Of the way your eyes linger on his lips, how you reached for him in the doorway of your apartment.

He grunts in response. He knows you, better than you know he does, better than Todd did, perhaps better than anyone else in the world. You'll weigh the consequences, but that doesn't mean he can't try to lighten the load.

“Okay, Mr. Stupid and Silent, don't believe me. It's your funeral.” Lyla huffs before her form flickers out, and he's left alone in the dark.

Miguel unlocks the door to his apartment and silently pads through the quiet space.

Gabi's asleep, he knows this. You're asleep, he knows this. He should also be asleep, but he's filled with a nameless emotion--an anxious energy raging against the edges of sleep that are threatening to creep in on him.

He sits at his desk, flipping through security feeds, ensuring there's no record of him. He's clean, there's no trace of him or Todd.

He was smart, made sure no one would see when he broke into Todd's apartment and knocked him out.

No one noticed as he carried Todd's unconscious body to an abandoned warehouse, and no one heard Todd's screams as he tore into him, leaving him a mangled mess that Miguel finally dangled him off the bridge.

He watched unflinching as Todd plummeted. The sound of Todd's body slamming into the water echoed off the banks, and Miguel waited until he sank to return to his apartment.

No one would ever know. He got away clean.

“Hey Boss? Y/N's here.” Lyla says, her words hitting him a millisecond before he hears your soft knocking on his door.

He bolts up, running a hand through his hair and checking his appearance in the hall mirror before he swings open the door to see you. Perfect, perfect you.

Your hair is loose, hanging free, and you're clad in fuzzy socks and an oversized sweatshirt.

Are you wearing pants under that? Shorts? Is this a seduction tactic? Because it's working.

“Hey, I'm sorry, I know it's late, but I just...” You wave your hands helplessly, your nails are pink, a pretty pearlescent pink.

He reaches out to catch one of your hands in one of his, squeezing it slightly. “Don't apologize, I’m more than willing to help, whatever it is.”

You give him an embarrassed smile. “Okay, so, it's a new apartment and I swear I keep hearing all these noises, and I know it’s childish but...would you come and take a look? Make sure there's nothing there?”

He's in love with you, fully, completely, unreservedly.

“Of course, y/n, I felt the same way when I moved in. The building is a bit older, there are lots of creaks and groans.”

He follows you to your apartment as he says this, and you look back at him in surprise. “You were scared?”

He chuckles sheepishly. “Actually, Gabi was, I just wanted to make you feel better.”

You smile and duck your head. “I appreciate the effort."

You hold the door open for him, then stand in your lit kitchen, your arms wrapped around yourself. Your bare thighs are exposed by the rising fabric of your sweatshirt, and he averts his eyes. 

He strangles his desire to sink to his knees and grip the soft flesh of your thighs, to wrench them apart and bury his face between them. To watch you come apart on his tongue as the sounds of your pleas and moans fill the air.

“I feel like I heard something near the balcony. You say, tearing him from his thoughts.

“I’ll go check.” He tells you, making his way towards your balcony, his senses on high alert even though he knows there's nothing.

It's an older building, Gabi was scared when they first moved in, that much is true. But there's nothing to be scared of, he's ensured that. In fact, this building, this block might be the safest in all of Nueva York.

Miguel throws open your balcony door and makes a show of checking every inch. He's rewarded by your soft laugh.

“All clear?” You take a half step forward, a smile playing at your lips, the lingering traces of sleep still gracing your expression.

“All clear. Anywhere else you want me to check?”

You nod towards your bedroom. “I swear I heard shuffling in my bathroom.”

He waits at your door, looking back at you. “Through here?”

You breeze past him and sit cross-legged on the edge of your bed. “The door on the left.”

He pushes the door open and flicks on the light. He's seen this room already, through your necklace, but standing there, on your plush, pastel purple bath mat, looking into your mirror, the mirror he's admired your bare body in, sends him into a tailspin.

“You see anything?” You call softly.

He shakes his head. “Nothing, no monsters lurking in between your towels.

“I didn't think there were monsters." You mumble, padding over to him, your scent hitting him like a freight train.

Has it always been this strong, or was it because he's in your home and everything around him screams y/n?

He inhales deeply, his fingers curling around the edge of your sink, his eyes closed as he fights to calm himself.

“Miguel? Are you okay?” You ask, placing a hand on his bicep.

He pulls you forward, pressing your back against the sink, his arms on either side caging you in.

You look up at him with an adorable expression of surprise, as if you hadn't seen his agility when he was disguised as Spiderman. “Miguel?”

He steels himself, even as he feels the plaster of your sink give beneath his fingers. He'll fix that later.

“Pancakes or French Toast?”

“I'm sorry?” You ask stunned.

“For breakfast, cariño, which would you prefer?” He forces the words out, prays they're smooth and unassuming.

You smile up at him, and he feels his stomach flip. It's a childish thing, for a small smile to affect him this way.

“Oh, pancakes please, and I can help you cook if you need.”

You're so sweet.

“No, no, mi vida, I'm cooking. All you need to do is keep me company.”

Your eyes follow the movement of his lips, and his nostrils flare when he smells the arousal wafting off you.

“Are you sure? I really don't mind.” You insist, palms resting against his chest.

He leans down and presses a fleeting kiss to your forehead. “I'm sure, now goodnight y/n.”

Then he leaves you there and heads back to his apartment, his head spinning, your scent still lingering around him.

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[fatum679]

HOTD s2x03

The scene with Helaena and Jaehaera is my favorite. Helaena loves her daughter so much and smiles at her. I'm happy.

Thanks to the writers that Helaena didn’t go crazy, which means there will be more of her in subsequent episodes and seasons, I’m so glad about that. Helaene is so thoughtful and wise - she is a true queen.

Helaena was able to forgive Alicent for forcing her to participate in a public funeral, for what she was doing during the murder of her grandson, and also, I am sure, Helaena forgives Alicent for forcing her to repeat her fate, for forced Helaena to marry an unloved man who ignores her and considers her an idiot.

I am very happy that Helaena and Alicent relationship has improved. Alicent really needed forgiveness.

Thanks to Rhaenys for saying that Luke cut out Aemond's eye and that was the beginning of the end. Some people can "laugh" all they want about Alicent writing letters to Rhaenyra, but Rhaenyra didn't write a single letter to Alicent or HER BROTHER after what happened to his eye. She just wanted to torture (sharply questioned) the one-eyed CHILD.

Poor Dyana, I feel so sorry for her, if it weren’t for Aegon, she would have worked in the castle, which is many times safer. She personifies all women of that time. With a 99.999% probability, if you end up in this world, then her fate awaits you. You will just try to survive.

I really didn't want to watch the scene with Aemond in the brothel, because I knew what was waiting for me. I feel so sorry for Aemond, he suffers from Stockholm Syndrome towards Sylvia (Madame). Aegon brought him to a brothel at the age of 13, when he was still a child, Aemond survived violence and the fact that he, as a teenager at the age of 16-18, comes to Madame, I think this is either Stockholm syndrome, or a desire to cope with his childhood trauma , he is trying to accept what happened to him. This is really a twisted "therapy" and I'm not entirely sure that Aemond and Sylvia had sex, I'm more inclined to think that he was just laying there because he's so emotionally repressed. I believe that he also came to her and only her, because he has complexes about his appearance and he is sure that he scares other ladies, and Sylvia has already seen his scar.

In this episode, Aegon himself confirmed to us that he stopped coming to the brothel, which means Madame didn’t lie, which means Errick didn’t lie and Aegon was really present at children’s fights.

Aegon remains the "ugly" brother. He continues to humiliate Aemond. Aegon has caused his brother trauma that he cannot overcome. He humiliates Aemond all his life and, since he has a crown on his head, he will not stop humiliating, bullying and treat him like property. This is so unbearable and unfair.

Aemond, I support you. Break an egg and make yourself some scrambled eggs.

Aemond the fierce - I like it.

I'm glad Aemond and Madame's story is over. Aemond returned to reality.

I'm looking forward to Helaemond in episodes 6-8. Aemond and Helaena must heal each other.

Jace kissed only his brother Joffrey, but did not say goodbye to Aegon 3 and Viserys 2. He doesn't really care about them.

Gwayne is such a fool. My respect for Criston is gradually returning, it’s a pity that only in such a contrast. Now I understand that Aegon is like Gwayne.

Daemon suffering from the murder of Jaehaerys - I don't believe it. He wants to kill his brother’s children because their grandfather is Otto and so that he and Rhaenyra have no rivals. You won't fool me.

Rhaenyra says that Viserys loved Alicent - no, that's not true. He only loved you and Daemon; he didn't care about other children.

Rhaenyra swore by the memory of her mother that she was still a virgin - a lie.

Alicent swears on the memory of her mother, because she really believes in the words of Viserys, she understood him that way and she is not deceiving. Alicent could end the war now, sorry, but I had to say it. She could scream and Rhaenyra would be caught, or come to a common decision with her. Choose what you like best.

Alicent talks about Aemond as a monster, clearly your golden boy is no longer "golden" and you just abandon him without trying to understand. What kind of mother are you? You forgot that your "friend" wanted to torture your 10 year old son.

I don’t know how to react to their scene; I should have tried to establish relationships earlier, when the children were little. If Rhaenyra had told Alicent about her relationship with Criston, it would have brought them closer together and Alicent would have understood and supported her. One lodge destroyed everything. It's not Alicent's fault that Viserys chose her as his wife. Alicent came to Viserys because she had no choice and her upbringing did not allow her to refuse her parents.