#at least. on an individual level. everyone's experiences are different ofc

[rokonrrc]

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btw shoutout to those who feel they are aspec because of their autism. To the aros, aces, apls, afams, and everyone else who feels their orientation is a direct result of their neurodivergency. Your feelings are valid, and you're not "just reinforcing stereotypes" by being yourself, bc you're not a character in a story, but a real person with real, lived experiences. I see you and I feel you

[twistedastrology]

- The most painful Chiron placements -

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in my opinion-

to preface, all chiron placements are inherently painful, but these to me are the ones i have the most respect for in a way??

everyone knows chiron as the wounded healer, it represents our soul level wound that, once healed, is our greatest superpower.

so here are a handful of the chiron placements that to me are the most intense.

- Chiron in Aries/1st -

chiron in aries is absolutely terrifying to me and i have the utmost respect for people with this placement because this is a core wound of the self.

they go through life forever trying to find who they are and feeling like the world holds no space for them- ive said like a billion times that my biggest fear is losing myself, and that's the wound that chiron in aries has to deal with.

they might struggle with finding what they're willed to do and might feel like a mosaic of everything else around them instead of a real person and that is so scary to me.

once they manage to heal that wound though, they are fucking unstoppable and inspire others to find themselves just as they did.

- Chiron in Sagittarius -

this one is intense to me because it often has a lot of potential to remain unhealed- this is a wound that relates to spirituality entirely-

i dont know many ppl with this placement at all but i imagine they're scared or intimidated by spirituality as a whole to some degree-

these people don't know what the purpose of life is, they don't know what they believe in or If they believe in anything- the subject of belief and purpose in life is very sore for them.

when healed, this chiron placement bestows an intense sense of belonging and meaning in life, and it has a lot of potential to remain unhealed because spirituality at the very least helps you to find a true meaning in life, without adhering to a strict religion that makes one up.

- Chiron in Aquarius/11th -

im a little biased for this one because i have this placement but i can 100% speak from experience because of that.

this placement is easily the most agonizing one in my entire chart- for the longest time i felt like i would never find true friends, and sometimes that feeling will creep up again and it makes me absolutely crumble.

chiron in aries and chiron in aquarius are very similar to some extent because they both feel like the world won't give them somewhere to feel at home, just for different reasons.

chiron in aquarius makes you feel like you will never have anyone who truly understands you and that even if you do, they won't stick around like you want them to.

for some people, this can make them try to conform to somewhere they don't belong. thankfully i don't have that aspect, but it has crossed my mind multiple times in life.

this placement, when it's triggered by something, makes me immediately consider every possibility upon meeting someone new and forces me to give up my hopes until im proven otherwise.

im pretty sure it's the reason i have an avoidant attachment style as well as trust issues 😮‍💨

when healed though, these people have the ability to bring people together without snuffing anyone's individuality. they always respect people for who they are and the friends they do manage to find respect them for who they are.

much shorter post this time but ive been super tired all day and ofc had a chiron trigger so ive been a little cranky to say the least- but i wanted to write something for some reason so i figured what better than what i struggled with today 😮‍💨

if you have any of these chiron placements or just generally know your chiron fucking hurts really bad when it's triggered, i get it- but it won't be like that forever. the more we manage to heal, the more that wound is transformed into the most stable part of our charts.

if in general you're not doing well rn, again, i get it, but it will never be like that forever. that's not how life works. you won't be happy forever either, but if you were, there would be no value to it.

like the song i named this blog after says, "a lonely life where no one understands you, but don't give up because the music do"

- 🖤 -

[catwouthats]

I didn’t want to post anything Loki related bc I don’t like promoting Disney shit after what they did (FUCK DISNEY! they donated 2 mil to Israel. So, don’t give them money y’all), yet somehow this is RELEVANT for social issues???

Basically

Mobius- Structural Functionalism

Sylvie- Conflict Theory

Loki- Symbolic Interactionism

But Loki and Mobius flip flop a little.

If you know sociology, this probably just damaged you emotionally. If you don’t know sociology, you are probably confused. Let me explain. Also I have more I want to say about what this all means. (SEASON 2 EPISODE 6 SPOILERS)

Structural Functionalism- Basically, things like institutions (schools, prisons, etc), roles (what you are expected to do), rules, and strict control are seen as important to hold society together. Each part is needed for the system to survive (else something else will try to take the broken system’s/part’s place… usually messy. Thinks break/slow.)

Conflict Theory- A lower class is oppressed by the upper class. Belief that the systems in place are made to oppress those who don’t have the power

Symbolic Interactionism- seeks to understand relationships between people. The importance of them on an individual level. Why and how one’s personal circle affects how they interact with the world as a whole. focusing on the symbols that help us give meaning to the experiences in our life. Symbols are subjective. Everyone has a different interpretation. The meanings of these symbols can change.

Mobius- Was devoted to TVA (institution). Generally interested in how to use the system as it is. Likes the structure and set up (until later?). Doesn’t question authority (until others do. Follows norms and peer pressure). Did not want to know who he was a while (against social norms in his society that was the TVA institution)

Sylvie- TVA oppressed her all her life. She’s interested in all the people wronged by imbalanced power that is the TVA (herself and everyone along branching times). Interested in equality. Mad at bourgeois (She is passionate and didn’t know as much as Loki —WHO WAS FUCKING TIME SLIPPING SO OFC IT MADE MORE SENSE TO HIM— so ofc she gets mad and makes “rash decisions” bc in her eyes they are logical.)

Loki- Personal. Think “Why?” Questions. Why did He Who Remains do this? Why do I have to be alone? He’a affected by his family/friends. THAT is what causes him to invoke change in society. He doesn’t admit it at first, but it’s clear that he treats everything personally to him. He is a God, something I see as more symbolic rather than functional because it makes everything personal to him on a different scale. The symbol of the TVA changed it’s meaning to the tree of life because of him.

He fixed it all by fixing his personal issues… or breaking them. It’s not how real life exactly works —it’s magic— but it’s interesting. It makes an interesting point. Not that one person is the hero, but that, despite EVERYONE’s group work, still at least ONE person had to give up living (usually it’s too many).

The reason I bring this up is because, again, it is so interesting. I thought this was gonna be copaganda (that one Ep Loki says some wack shit.. which he doesn’t agree with anymore I don’t think bc he literally ripped it apart)(maybe it still is copaganda?? Idk, that’s not the point of this thing). This media actually showed the importance of each social theory individually though. AND HOW THEY CAN WORK TOGETHER TO BRING CHANGE! I’d argue they need to work together to bring change.

You need to have that closeness to each other, that understanding of why people are reacting in ways (symbolic interaction). So you can grow stronger as an organized group and figure out plans (structural functionalism). So you can stand up STRONG to your oppressor without leaving ANYONE behind, so you can reduce the HARM of the oppressive system (conflict theory).

I know this is all over the place and I apologize. It seems weird to talk about something so serious using a show (especially when the thing owning that show is part of what you��re speaking out against??)(like seriously wtf Disney!??? Fuck you!!!??)

That said —off topic again— when it comes to Loki, I think he is going to have to find away to be with Sylvie & Mobius again. He has no defenses. They, Sylvie and Mobius, are his defenses. They help him to not die/kill others. They help keep the TVA workers stable to support him. They help keep things in check so no one gets treated unfairly. He needs both of them.

Anyways, back on topic, this can all be overwhelming. Society as a whole. Just remember that we have each other’s backs. You might not feel it yet, but trust me, more and more people are coming together. They/we are doing more and more amazing things, things that get bigger and bigger with more of an impact.

We are stopping weapons from being shipped.

We are boycotting.

We are donating to support.

We are spreading the word.

There is love, it’s just not ever given by the oppressors. Don’t ever look for love there; the people that are hurting family and friends are not ever going to give you love.

Also, if any part of this is off or insensitive please let me know. I’m terrible at being socially human, like my words don’t get interpreted how I interpret them.

[mc-critical]

This ask got me thinking after one of your latest asks about Hurrem's suicide attempt. Do you think Hurrem's enemies( such as Mahidevran, Hatice, Ibrahim, Gulfem...) would start to be a little bit more sympatic towards to Hurrem if they learn her suicide attemps for Suleiman?(Like when Afife saved her in ep 72) I mean, Valide started to respect and understand her after she saw how much she really loved Suleiman and was willing to give her life for him. Also Afife started to understand her after saving her life. What do you think about the other enemies ? :)

It highly depends on the dynamic each one has with Hürrem individually, their own reasons for putting their foot down on her or being enemies with her, how much can that "new knowledge" move past these reasons and everyone's own individual view on Süleiman.

I feel the one who would sympathize with Hürrem the most in such circumstance would be Gülfem. She has experienced a level of loss and knows what it means to feel that life isn't worth living after that loss. If she learns, she would surely understand and perhaps say that, despite of everything, Hürrem is attached very strongly to Süleiman and has immense loyalty for him. She wouldn't condone Hürrem's other actions that don't sit well with her (like bringing Nigar in the harem only to spite Hatice, reminding her of the infidelity at every turn and even using Gülfem herself to frame Mahidevran for an assault in order to become the ruler of the harem since that was relatively soon), but would put the action into context in front of everyone.

This reaction would be helped by the fact that Gülfem isn't exactly her enemy per say, is very forgiving and patient, isn't used to holding grudges, and is only ever against Hürrem when she does something against her loved ones or she crosses some kind of a line by petty insults or comebacks. Besides, Gülfem still strives to see the good in Süleiman by this point of the show, being his emotional support and conscience even before S04 and becomes worried about what would happen to everyone every time he's ill, so such action of Hürrem's would be pretty explainable for her, even though she could certainly think that Firuze is something she had coming for her, and if they get a chance to talk about it in the depths of my headcanon, they would be the most possible "duo" to have a heart to heart.

Both Ibrahim and Mahidevran's perspectives have pretty much in many ways been shown by episode 55 where Hürrem prepares to do something pretty similar to her suicide attempt in episode 72, just with even more massive stakes.

A major part of the conflict between Hürrem and Ibrahim is rooted on Süleiman: his attention on both of them and the amount of influence Hürrem wants to exercise over him. However, the loyalties they have towards Süleiman is where they have managed to find common ground. Ibrahim is fully aware that Hürrem would never directly act against him. Him learning about a suicide attempt of Hürrem's due to the prospect of losing Süleiman would be nothing new to him, since, as highlighted by their confrontation in E55, he was aware that she was in such a state where she was willing to 'do the impossible'. They were both devastated by the ongoing events and they could come to a mutual understanding. It's possible for him to at least try to understand what she's going through there. But that would only last for so long, for the moment he learns about it. He would widen and maybe think, but... that would be about it. Because if Mahidevran directly acted before Valide hid the children and with SS's fate still being uncertain in E55, Hü and Ibro would have teamed up to stop this mess, but not here.

I once again come back to the comparatively more personal stakes of Hürrem's suicide in E72: this attempt wouldn't be enough to put everything between them behind, for Ibrahim to have such a strong amount of sympathy, none of this can be forgotten by a single suicide attempt. Their history is much longer than that. I would say that he would indeed think about the fact that Firuze is bothering Hürrem so much, wonder for a few seconds, how did it come to this, tell Matrakci about it and tell him that Hürrem must be very threatened to go for this, maybe with a hint of understanding... but that would be about it. It would be a temporary reaction, nothing between them or their dynamic would change in a significant way, he wouldn't get more sympathetic with Hürrem. Because that is a side of her Ibrahim has seen, on the possibility of another, scarier, more dangerous future for them both.

Mahidevran is the person who, is not only the least likely to, but surely, by one hundred percent, wouldn't sympathize with Hürrem over her suicide attempt at. all. Her hatred for Hürrem is seriously big and the points where they both could ever come to an understanding are rare. Some suicide attempt would seem something incredibly trivial and far too small to turn the tables. That is empowered even further by Mahidevran's own ongoing character arc that relates to Süleiman and the way her inner strength evolves by her letting go of him. At this point of the show, Mahidevran wouldn't even be able to relate to what Hürrem has done on a personal level, since Süleiman is nothing but memories to her already. It's not an experience she could connect herself with because of this exact shifting of priorities. What she wants even more at this point is Hürrem's end and she would be fine with however would it happen. {We could say she would generally prefer suffering for her (as she said in E55, but it's a belief confirmed again in E79, saying that death would only be a salvation for her spy; and then advanced even further in S04.), but is on board with killing her as well. (see her sending Diana to kill her)} I even imagine her to still widen at the news, but to wonder why did Afife even save her. (if they learn about that, too)

Despite of this, I feel there're a few angles of how precisely Mahidevran would view this suicide: the confrontation between Hürrem and her in front of SS's bed in E55 is key in her witnessing her say that it's namely dying with Süleiman that she would do if SS died anyway. And there we have Mahidevran claim that Hürrem doesn't do it out of love, but out of fear for her life. She could view Hürrem's suicide in E72 like this, too, and this way she would not only not sympathize with her for it, but also condemn her for doing it in some way. She may not read these intentions as genuine, she may even see it all as a plan of Hürrem's to win Afife over? There wasn't an indication that Mahidevran's view of these stunts of hers changed by that point, even though Mahidevran realized that her E55 actions were a mistake. The second angle of this could be the direct demonstration of her belief of the endless cycle of the harem that would never change. Yes, in E64 Mahidevran had stopped believing that another woman could defeat Hürrem (seen by her expression when Hatice told everyone that this is the only thing that would beat Hürrem), but seeing Firuze brought something else to the table. Then Mahidevran begins once again saying that Hü would burn in the same fire she did, calling back to her words in E61 that one woman would come and destroy this indestructible love. Seeing this realized with Firuze, seeing Hürrem struggle against her that much to the point of giving up, albeit in the opposite way Mahidevran did from SS... it would just show that Hürrem indeed isn't irreplaceable, that every good thing comes to an end, that Hürrem's victories wouldn't be endless and that she would doom herself one day. This could be a part of what Mahidevran wanted, confirming her beliefs of then, yet weakening her rival by a severe amount. Firuze having such an affect on Hürrem would by no means be approached sympathetically by Mahidevran, even if it hypothetically happened in the moment where it could (by that I mean early S01, in E10, when SS was rumored to be dead and if Hü tried such a thing then. And if, say, Firuze existed instead of Sadıka, ofc.), because even then Mahidevran's priorities would be immediately switched to the baggage little Mustafa had to deal with. Hürrem and Mahidevran had their few and far between moments of understanding, but that understanding was connected to their children and their motherly instincts. Only then would they be close to put their differences behind. Not here.

I find Hatice's possible reaction to be kind of a mix between what virtues she has seen in Hürrem before and their relationship in S03A's present. We know that Hatice completely stood against Hürrem because of her simultaniously threatening dynasty and family and what they stood for in Hatice's eyes. However, there have been two exceptions throughout S03A where Hatice actually sided with Hürrem or was shown to be empathetic to her. One of the exceptions was Süleiman falling ill once again in E78 where she was standing next to Hürrem and sharing her desire to see SS recover. That circumstance is similar to what E55 offered, because Hatice saw Hürrem in a better light, albeit for a moment in this case, while showing a loyalty to both the dynasty and the family that is Süleiman. That's where they're able to set their differences even in times where they are full on enemies. It is possible that Hatice may show a hint of understanding for Hürrem's suicide, because she is showing some kind of loyalty to Süleiman and after all, Hatice did once truly admire their love and even understood Hürrem's urge to send the Russian concubines off back in S01. She could understand why Hürrem did it and even empathize with it in part. It wouldn't be completely impossible, since she also has an idea of what it is like. But on the other hand, things have changed since S01: Firuze is the person Hatice counted on to take the win out of Hürrem's hands and Hatice was in such a state that she wanted Firuze to completely take over, which would make us think.

Nonetheless, learning of Hürrem's suicide attempt would definetly surprise Hatice, because even though she wanted for Firuze to take away Hürrem's Thursdays, such a reaction from Hürrem wouldn't be that expected and she would possibly view it as extreme even, since as I have said, Hatice didn't want to kill her in S03A. To knock her down a peg, to put her in her place, yes, but to want or expect such an ending for her, with her doing it herself.. I don't think so. She could even ask her is she okay and even thank Afife for saving her. Again, I don't think it would change their dynamic all that much, probably would keep a bigger eye on Firuze's moves?, but it would be a little moment of piece between them and Hatice could really sympathize. Because Hatice is still very human at her core.

[Side note: Ayşe Hafsa's dynamic with Hürrem changed so much after she saw Hürrem in E55, namely because she saw another side of Hürrem, virtues she didn't think she had and for the defense of which she stood up against Hürrem - again, the loyalty to dynasty and family. In E38, when she overheard her, she saw Hürrem marching against all of them by saying she would get rid of basically everyone and then her seemigly using SS's trust and love for her in cold calculation. In E55, she saw her love for SS in a different better light, a loyalty so strong and contrasting it negated every doubt Valide had against her and made her fully support her as a result. To be fair, the contrast with Mahidevran also helped, since Valide was conversely disappointed by a person she had an almost familial bond with and it's just that the occurrences in the whole episode were just so massive they made her switch from one side to another. Her son's future was put in question as much as her own.

Afife wasn't really an enemy of Hürrem's. She was more of a "lawful neutral" type of character: she helped with the Firuze case only because she was led to believe that Hürrem disrupted the balance in the harem and this balance could be fixed only through another woman. She told Hürrem off that one time, because Afife was so loyal to the laws she found herself to act by them and them alone, thus claiming that Hürrem isn't a Valide Sultan and Afife could arrange the entertainment regardless. (and also because the plot demanded it.) There wasn't any personal ire there. But Hürrem's suicide is something that touched her on a personal level, for she loves SS as her own son. That's once again, something she has never had the chance to see in her life, something new that moved her and made her more supportive of Hürrem and view Firuze in another way. Because after such event she couldn't help, but think: "Could Firuze do the bold thing the legal wife and the mother of his majesty's five kids just did?".]

[emersonfreepress]

ok ok in the spirit of community, how would the ros fair in a paintball war?

(referring to this ask! like the zombie au post this ended up making me think a lot 😅)

ohh... interesting, interesting... p sure the only paintball wars i’ve really seen were the ones featured in The League, Peep Show, and Community... but let me wrack my lil head...

ok, i ended up coming at this from multiple angles like the zombie au post 😅 always so much to consider in battle environments! and in the spirit of community, I'll stick with the individual player elimination style paintball match. in the woods with other e prep seniors. last one standing wins bragging rights

Gabe

Shooting skill | 6/10 - Experience with shooting and practice with Kile ofc

Stealthiness | 8/10 - He's done a fair amount of sneaking around during his after school activities, is super observant (or just paranoid lol), and naturally light on his feet. Good luck ambushing him.

Strategy | 8/10 - Strike deals. Do favors. Form alliances. Shoot 'em in the back once they’ve outlived their usefulness. ...What? It’s just paintball.

How does he win? | Graciously. Gabe likes winning, and especially via strategic manipulation, so it puts a smile on his face. And he's in a good mood so he treats a bunch of you to ice cream or smth 👀

How does he lose? | Slumps in frustration at being outwitted or taken off-guard, sulks about it for a little while. He's not that sore of a loser but needs time to lick his wounds and stop thinking of the different choices he could have made.

Kile

Shooting | 9 - The most accurate shooter of the cast and easily one of the best shots at E Prep. Lots of practice + talent

Stealth | 10 - They're stupid good at climbing trees and 100% consider that a valid method of ambushing their classmates. People start having flashbacks to 3rd and 4th grade recess and P.E. Scanning the trees. They just start taking people out with such efficiency it quickly starts ruining the game 😂

Strategy | 0? 10?? - “...Strategy? You just stay out of sight and kill 'em all, right?” (immediately scolded by Gabe for word choice 🙄) They really do mainly stay out of sight and pick people off with max stealth, like 😆 they'd be such a terror, people would need to take them out early for anyone else to stand a chance! They spend a lot of the game staking out the most frequented paths in the area and taking out groups quickly, all at once. Then they'll get around to stalking and picking people off one by one. The real fun...

Winner type | Stoic. Likes winning combat but the stakes were non-existent, so... the win is meaningless! this just infuriates the losers more 😅 such disrespect

Loser type | Sucks their teeth and tosses their paintball gun to the ground. "Y'all suck." (they're over it five mins later tho lol)

Jack

Shooting | 3 - This is nothing like shooting light guns... ☹️

Stealth | 5 - Not just due to his size making him an easier target, but homeboy is liable to get distracted by a cute squirrel or some pretty flowers 😂 He's not great at keeping his voice down either so good conversation would make him easy to seek out. He's just out here enjoying a beautiful day 😅

Strategy | 7 - All that movie-watching (and DMing) make him a valuable creative mind for problem-solving, but he needs a cooperative team to be effective. Rescued and recruited by Rupan/Rohan early on in the game ^ ^

Winner type | Disbelief! And everyone’s content and satisfied with him winning. Except Vivian/Vincent, that jealous fool

Loser type | Doesn't mind losing at all! He just hopes he was a good teammate and was glad to have fun ☺️

Jessie

Shooting | 7 - Comes from a family of hunters, girly knows how to shoot.

Stealth | 6 - Familiar enough with woods and stalking prey to be capable of sneaking around. Having too much fun to not giggle and get overly invested in the developing plot of the game. Even more easily distracted by critters and flora than Jack 😅

Strategy | 5 - Oh, she's just here to have fun. She'll go with whatever the person she's teaming up with decides, but can adapt easily enough.

Winner type | Surprised... then elated! Bouncing and happy and it's completely contagious. No hard feelings about a single thing. Convinces Heidi to invite people to the Emerson Estate—it's a hot day and they have a nice pool

Loser type | Same as Jack! Congratulates the winner with a hug because she's sweet like that 🧁

Rain

Shooting | 2 - This... thing is so cumbersome. And ugly. At least it shoots pretty colors.

Stealth | 7 - Small and used to sneaking around different environments and seeking out hiding spots. Their height and frame makes them harder to spot too.

Strategy | 4 - Hide!!! They’re not getting assaulted with paint and pellets!! Especially not after managing to make this ugly jumpsuit look cute?? Waiting it out is perfectly legitimate. Might share snacks if you decide to join them in hiding 😆

Winner type | Falls asleep in an unexpectedly cozy hiding spot and emerges as everyone thought they’d declared the winner. I imagine R and others yelling at them to get their gun while the original winner scrambles to get theirs, just for Rain to win by pure luck of the draw. Won’t stop them bragging about it, though! (I want this spurned runner-up to be Vi bc ofc)

Loser type | "So I can stop holding this thing?" Yawn. "I'm so hungry and bored, we've been at this for hours..."

Rupan/Rohan

Shooting | 4 - Ah, shit. These don't shoot anything like light guns.

Stealth | 7 - They sneak out and around town a lot 😂 They just force themself to be careful about how loud grass and bushes are.

Strategy | 7 - They’re treating this shit like an action movie and banding together a ragtag team of misfits to take down the strongest alliances and players. Savvy enough to reject Gabe’s and Curt’s offers to join, not opposed to strategic backstabs. They're very clearly just as focused on having fun as they are on winning—and playing Predator, which honestly works with Kile runnin around. They even brought war paint and borrowed a tactical vest. Is it mostly packed with snacks and weed? Maybe. Does it prove useful for negotiations? Hell yeah.

Winner type | Raucous celebration, just pure joy and adrenaline ☺️ Celebrates with their team, brags a bit, rubs it into Vi's face, makes fun of Curt, the usual. Then invites allies out to get pizza because it's the obvious next step

Loser type | Mostly disappointed they can't keep playing. They're a little sore about being left out of the action, but soon just start chatting with other marked players about how the game went for them. Plenty entertaining on its own, they want all the details

Vivian/Vincent

Shooting | 5 - They've got a little bit of shooting experience.

Stealth | 4 - They're overly sensitive and hate being in nature. Their skin is sticky, they keep feeling bugs everywhere, they've gotten dirt all over their pants, it's so hot, they keep WALKING into SPIDERWEBS, [flails about, screaming furiously]

Strategy | 8 - They have good ideas, they're just difficult to execute alone, especially since they're getting sunburnt and getting crankier and can't stop swatting at insects 😅 they're one of the first people to figure out that someone's taking out groups from the trees, so they stay solo and try to find a single person to team up with. Really what they need is someone who's a better shot but easy to boss around. They can probably just owe them for an in-school favor...

Winner type | Barely suppressed gloating. Vi somehow finds a way to be an obnoxious winner almost entirely by the look on their face. Once they're in a smaller group, they're passionately discussing the details of the game and happily boasting about their triumphs (while glossing over all of the whining and and slip-ups lol)

Loser type | Booo, such a sore loser. (Especially in the scenario where Rain wins 🤣) If they're outsmarted or outgunned in a clear, transparent way they'll growl and stomp off, then quietly glower and sulk for way too long. If they're double-crossed or beaten in an underhanded way oh lord —they're fighting it to the end. R can't help but get involved either way, reminding them it was a damn game with literally no prize. "C'mon, Vi, chill. You want ice cream? Let's get you ice cream."

Heidi

Shooting | 6 - Some shooting experience.

Stealth | 8 - She's very aware of her surroundings and her body. Perceptive yet quiet. Tactical. All residual traits picked up from her many activities over the years.

Strategy | 9 - Most likely to outsmart everyone. The first one to figure out groups are being targeted from the trees. Goes it alone and only open to trading (unless she sees Curt with Jess in which case she puts a quick pin in her plans to rescue her 😂). She also immediately figures out it's Kile, because ofc it is. Keeps close tabs on what groups are doing, knowing that eventually Kile will come down to ground level to pick off individuals and couples. Predator becomes prey 👀

Winner type | Proud but not boasting. She doesn't need to be. Victory looks good on her, natural and fitting. Thanks everyone for a good game then takes the girls for a long ride in the Cadillac 😎 top down on a bright day, baby

Loser type | Damn. She should have won this. Maybe if she'd... She probably could have... Then she snaps out of it, roped in by the celebratory mood of congratulating the winner. She's over any feelings of frustration or regret after getting to discuss the match with the person that took her out/the winner and there's no hard feelings. If anything this was fun as hell, it should be an annual thing. ☺️

Curt

Shooting | 8 - Some shooting experience and a natural knack for it. Good reflexes.

Stealth | 8 - Curt likes to say he gets along with the woods around these parts. Sneaking around is second nature to him. Really good hearing too. He's an easy target if you manage to seduce him though, having no issue leaving himself vulnerable if it means that kind of fun 😂

Strategy | 7 - Honestly, he's most interested in seeing how long he can get away with using charm and seduction for both protection and double-crossing 😂 Eventually becomes persona non grata and gets all of his ammo stolen by a vengeful mark, barely getting away in the process. Since that jig is up, he finally starts thinking a win might be nice... and so he teams up with the only competent player who would never betray him and also inspires the least vitriol in others: Jessie. What? Is his back-up plan using her as a human shield? No! 😚 Of course not! 👉👈

Winner type | Insufferable and gloating. Rubs it in a lot of people's faces, specifically Heidi, Rupan/Rohan, and any participants who genuinely don't like him. Brags to Gabe (who is completely disinterested in gassing him up 😂), then promises he'll make things up to Jessie (who didn't mind and had fun lol). Then celebrates by asking whoever he's flirting with these days for a quick date—and a ride in the Ferrari. Makes a scene pulling out of the parking lot. Ass.

Loser type | Doesn't care one bit as long as he had fun! And he always finds a way to have fun, it's why he's so carefree 😅

[jeanmoreaux]

I hope you don’t mind, I have an unpopular opinion. As much as I love the SoC duology (mainly sentimental reasons), in hindsight I see so many plot holes or thins that didn’t make sense to me (in a practical sense or in terms of consistency with a character’s personality) and I wanted to both share and ask what you might think! (Pls don’t shoot me)

—- Leigh loves having everyone paired up nicely, but I was just thinking realistically how

strange that Inej becomes captain of a ship (as implied by the end of the 2nd book); she had just reunited with her family as well. It’s not wildly OOC to be a slave-hunter at all, but it’s hard for me to grasp Inej being in the position of a leader (whose ship will surely be recognized and soon enough avoided by said slavers); the whole time we see she excels at shadow work, she is deadliest when quiet/least expected—I suppose the whole commandeering a ship in contrast is something very loud. Almost flashy and so it still bugs me to this day 😫

How neat Wylan and Jesper are together, all wrapped in a bow. They are from incredibly different backgrounds, and this is more of an issue with the writing and pacing than the actual pair—but it wrapped up so quickly and too nicely for me. The very common ‘getting past subtle glances and little flirtatious gestures to finally making a move’ trope (??) // (this is more of a YA complaint because this is honestly a standard formula™️, but I just wanted to include this anyway as an example).

Leigh always has these wonderful concepts, but far too many POVs are included in the novels so it retains a surface-level approach, despite some characters having genuinely interesting psyches and stories that could’ve been explored further (personally for me: the characters of Kaz and Genya most of all)

And that…is just a some of the trivial little nuggets that bonk around my head when I remember SoC 🤣 I’m sorry this endedt up being so long!

hahaha yeah i guess that's quite an unpopular opinion! it's really interesting to read your takes on it (so pls don't apologise for the lengthy message!) i really appreciate your ask! i am happy you feel like you can share these opinions with me. they are pretty understandable issues to have with the series. i think your point on inej is definitely something i have asked myself too since she doesn't seem to have much experience when it comes to sailing and leading a crew, but i kind of always imagined her to curate a small team on an agile boat that stealthily takes out the slave-traders? idk that's what my mind came up with. i mean financially she's definitely in a position where she can do whatever she wants for however long she wants. i don't think she'd jump into it right away but rather spend some time with her family first. (but ofc that’s all just speculation.) i can definitely see why you'd criticise the pacing of wylan and jesper's relationship. it could have been executed better especially in soc. when it comes to their background i think that after everything they both experienced across their lives they're actually not that different? i mean wylan lived in the barrel for quite some time and while he grew up privileged i think he's well aware of how life looks like for people beyond his wealthy bubble. jesper was educated and grew up pretty sheltered on a farm that i imagine didn't do too bad since he had the funds to attend university in ketterdam (a university that even royalty attends—i think it is mentioned somewhere that nikolai was supposed to study there too). he is definitely not as privileged as wylan but the discrepancy is probably not as extreme as if jesper had grown up in the barrel. like, i agree their backgrounds are different, but the difference isn't so extreme that it would make a lasting relationship almost impossible. i kind of agree with your point on the POVs, but at the same time i also kind of don't??? i get why you'd want too get a deeper look into individual psyches, but i don't think that's something these books ever set out to do—while there is some strong character work ,the grishaverse books are foremost plot-driven stories. they don't aim for that in-depth exploration of characters' psyches. these novels never had the ambition to be intricate character studies. so it's not really fair to criticise them for not doing something they never intended to do (even though i completely get it, i would love dig a little deeper with kaz and genya too!!!) i never felt like the POVs in soc are too many bc i found them to be overall really effective in telling the story. they made it easier to tell the story in the way it was set up to be told. the different perspectives make it possible to cover the plot-relevant parts of the narrative in an engaging and exciting way bc you get different angles of different characters with different amounts of information. all the POVs revolve around the same ONE plot line that binds them together like a glue. ((that's why the POVs in the nikolai duology are TOO MANY... you have so many POV characters with their own plots and it doesn't really come together until the very end so you're just jumping around too much which consequently takes you out of the story. it's all so disjointed and quite messy which makes it hard to get invested in any of the narrative arcs.))

i think i'll have to stop here bc this is already SOO LONG, but i just wanna add that this series is YA, it just has to wrap up everything nicely. it kind of comes with the genre. (even tho i think the soc duology does leave some things a little open and ambiguous, it's not as neatly wrapped up as many other YA books, and i appreciate that.) in general i think i am just not so harsh on YA, but yeah it does require more suspension of disbelief in some cases.

[echodrops]

So, just because I was rereading HaaH and a bit curious, you described Keith’s communication with Red as being mostly through visuals and scents (which was super fucking cool and a very interesting detail, btw) but I was wondering—how do the other Paladins communicate with their lions? (if it’s not spoilers, ofc) Hope you’re having a nice summer! ❤️❤️❤️

A cool ask!

Keith

The story mentions that Keith speaks to Red via a combination of visuals and scents, but I can say a little more about it here too before I go on to the others–the Lions tailor their communication specifically to match the paladin they are bonded with. If Red had a different partner, he would “speak” differently to that person. Red and Keith communicate through sight and scent because these are Keith’s strongest senses and the ones to which he has his most visceral reactions. Most importantly though, Red doesn’t just choose images and scents at random; Red’s consciousness is directly tied to Keith’s consciousness. Therefore, when Red wants to convey a concept to Keith, he can choose to reach directly into Keith’s mind and pick the exact sights and smells that Keith associates with that concept. (If Red wanted to convey the idea of “rage,” for example, he might flash Keith’s memory of fighting with Commander Iverson after the failure of the Kerberos mission.)

It should be noted, however, that Red is also a very stubborn, not-remotely-domesticated lion, and so sometimes he’ll use his own associations for concepts instead of Keith’s. This has led to a sort of half-”human”-half-(alien) animal visual/scent language where something like the concept of “humor” sometimes gets communicated as “that one time Matt Holt got stuck in a locker” and other times gets communicated as “that one time I toyed with a tiny enemy until it died.”

By the way, Red and Keith’s method of communication would be completely and utterly incomprehensible to anyone else who tried to experience it. Like… Willy Wonka terror tunnel levels of incomprehensible.

The rest are under the read more to save people’s dashes:

Pidge

Pidge and Green communicate in an extremely complex way: they “share” data like a cloud database, but the information they send back and forth to each other is a constant scrolling feed of a thousand different encryption codes and languages, from basic ciphers all the way up to DNA encoding values. When Pidge and Green link up, it’s the equivalent of Pidge’s brain being hardwired directly into the internet, if the internet was… you know… an ageless, all-knowing fragment of the universe and all combined matter self-actualized into a single physical form at one moment in space-time. It’s extremely mentally demanding, and no one without an absolutely astronomical IQ and encyclopedic knowledge of data encoding and reading could ever hope to understand even a sliver of it. Even Pidge has really only scratched the surface of the amount of information Green is able to convey; there are limits to how much the human brain can comprehend and process, and Green respects that–she has to, or Pidge would experience an aneurysm from an extreme over-activation of brain tissue and die within seconds of exposure to Green’s “full voice.”

Pidge and Green are the only paladin/lion pair whose method of communication is completely intelligible to someone who is not a paladin–Matt Holt can understand and communicate with Green as easily as Pidge can, because, as siblings, the Holts grew up sharing all the same codes. Likewise, Green is partially intelligible to Hunk, enough so that he can communicate with her if Green chooses to “speak” to him. He’d be able to fully understand Green if he saw a point in studying up on the rest of the specific languages and ciphers Pidge knows, but there’s really no time to bother with that when there’s always so much else going on.

Hunk

Remember that scene in Harry Potter where the sorting hat asks if Harry really doesn’t want to be in Slytherin because he’d be just as great there as in Gyrffindor? That’s what happened with Hunk and Yellow. Although it would have been totally possible for Hunk and Yellow to communicate in a way extremely similar to Pidge and Green (albeit more along the lines of mathematical calculations than DNA encoding), Hunk asked Yellow to pick the form of communication that Yellow himself would feel most comfortable with, and thus Hunk and Yellow do not communicate in words, data, or images–they communicate by a constant sharing of their feelings and intuition. Yellow and Hunk’s bond is deeply physically focused, with the feelings of one impacting the other as directly as if they shared one brain. When Yellow is nervous, Hunk gets goosebumps. When Hunk is resolved, Yellow’s roar can shake stars in the sky. Although Hunk often speaks out loud to his Lion, this is mostly just from habit; Yellow does not take note of Hunk’s words but instead responds to the emotional truths that exist behind those spoken words. Unlike Pidge or Keith, whose methods of “speaking” require at least fractions of a second to translate, Yellow and Hunk’s communications are instantaneous and they never experience even the slightest miscommunication. Everyone quickly learned to trust the things Hunk tells them based on what he feels from Yellow, even if they themselves have never gotten so much as inkling of emotion from the Yellow Lion.

Only one issue has arisen from Hunk and Yellow’s method of communication: there are feelings which the lions experience which humans do not, and even a few feelings humans experience which the lions do not. Once exposed to these feelings, neither one of the pair could “unfeel” them, and thus Hunk is now the only human in the universe capable of feeling certain emotions which are not native to human beings, and Yellow has been saddled with the unbearable knowledge that sometimes ugly things are actually adorable.

Shiro

The Black Lion is very different from the other lions. So different, in fact, that there’s honestly no comparison to even be drawn. Although the other lions are irrevocably still at least somewhat “animalistic” in their behaviors and functions, the Black Lion is a lion in form only, and its mind is nothing like an animal’s. The way the Black Lion and its bond to paladins works is so unique from the other lions that we might as well be talking about a totally different form of relationship. The Black Lion does not communicate with its paladin–the Black Lion IS its paladin.

The other lions are able to touch and operate within the confines of their paladins’ minds when their paladins are near or when they really want to “speak.” But Black just exists within Shiro at all times–Black has tied itself to Shiro’s life force, to his physical form, to every cell and even atom of his being. Shiro is the Black Lion’s vessel, and yet there is no separation between their identities–they are not two souls sharing one body, but an interwoven existence that is simultaneously both human and something utterly unknowable.

All the lions are “magical” creatures, as much metaphysical beings as they are robotic monsters, but Black is something else entirely. Shiro can’t explain it. Allura can’t explain it. Coran can’t explain it. Even during the process of their creation, neither Alfor nor any of the people who worked on the forging of the lions could explain it. Black is the breath of the cosmos. A manifestation of life itself. The first spark. The invisible, immeasurable dark matter that permeates the unending universe and allows all things to be. All knowledge. All energy.  

Black and Shiro do not “communicate” because they do not need to. When the Black Lion wishes Shiro to know something, Shiro simply knows it. Things that human beings should not be capable of doing, the Black Paladin can do.

As long as the Black Lion wills it, for as long as it deigns to lend power to the physical realm, Shiro and Black move as one, united in thought, purpose, and deed–seeing with the same eyes, feeling with the same heart.

Lance

Although it might sound like Shiro has the closest relationship with his lion–inextricably soul-bound and all–this is actually inaccurate. Shiro and Black’s bond is essentially one-sided, initiated by Black to suit the lion’s purpose, with an equally frustrated and humbled Shiro doing his best to reach out to the inexplicable entity, to limited success. They share an existence but not, necessarily, a “relationship.” 

The paladin who actually has the closest bond with his lion is Lance, although Lance himself is completely unaware of this. Because communication between the lions and their paladins is so unique, Lance has never recognized that what he can do with Blue (the degree of fluidity that exists in their communication) is not standard and is, in fact, the closest a lion and paladin have ever managed to personally connect before.

Lance and Blue simply love each other. They aren’t just allies, they aren’t just knight and weapon, they aren’t just guardian and charge–before any and all of that, they’re genuinely friends. Lance cares for Blue as if she were another person on their team, a person just like any other, with normal thoughts, feelings, wants, and wishes. He listens to Blue’s boasts and fears, her anecdotes, her memories, and shares his own in turn. Sometimes he has to work twice as hard with his products to hide the dark circles under his eyes because he stays up all night holding nigh-endless conversations with his lion. Although all the lions can sense their paladins across entire galaxies, Lance is the only one who can speak to his lion from any distance; there is no limit that Blue has found. Through Lance, Blue has come to understand the lives of mortal beings in a way that none of the other regular lions seem to–she is the only one that fully grasps and values the individuality of humans. Lance taught her what names mean. What family is. Destiny is a strange concept, constantly under suspicion, but it was nothing short of destiny that determined Lance and Blue should meet. Aka if you say a word about the lion swap to me I will stomp you to death with my hooves.

All of this was mostly possible because, being the first of the humans to meet his lion, Lance had zero preconceptions about what his relationship with a giant sentient catship should look like. It simply never occurred to him that the Blue Lion might not be able to talk. He expected his lion to speak to him, and so she did. Her voice sounds exactly like what Lance thinks a talking lion should sound like. (There is a lot of purring involved, because Lance was not made aware, until much later, that normal lions cannot, in fact, purr.) She reminds him, somewhat painfully, of his mom.

Blue’s voice cannot be understood by any of the other paladins, however, because she does not want it to be. If anyone else were to listen in on Lance and Blue’s mental conversations, Blue’s voice sounds simply like droplets of water, like rain on the surface of a previously smooth pond.

On one–and only one–previous occasion, the Blue Lion chose to speak to Keith. His feelings about that day, and the long, lonely months that came after it, are a bitter mix of resentment and painful gratitude.

[dryasiulia]

August 21st: Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day

This idea is fantastic and I want to support it as best I can.  I’m constantly amazed that you guys take your free time to provide this for us; so this is quite literally the least I can do!  There’s a lot more below~~~~~~

I wish I had the time today to reread everyone’s work; AND to read everything I haven’t yet.  You all deserve pages and pages of praise; I’m sorry this is all I can do today.  In roughly the order in which they were originally consumed:

@claudeng80 Even if it hadn’t been my fanfic introduction (If you don’t count watching GoT), Noble AU would still hold a special place in my heart.  Honestly everything you’ve done is amazing.  I still haven’t made it through the RIDICULOUS amount of happy you made for us during bingo.  And that’s not even considering the ones I DID get to that I want to reread ASAP (omg that fairytale obi dragon one).  And of course Snowdrop~~~  No words~~~~  I even enjoy the stuff you do that is outside my wheelhouse *cough* star trek.  Plus, Akagami on the Bayou is literally perfection.

@sabraeal It’s lovely to see someone who is so talented spend so much time appreciating and supporting others.  The comments/reviews that you (and Joanna and Andi) leave in the community are literally as entertaining as the stories.  That said, obviously now I’m going to mention Seven Suitors because duh.  It is Canon But Better and I hope there isn't a sekrit counter somewhere that shows how many times Ive read it....maybe even with the Haki B-sides inserted timeline appropriately~~~~  And I don’t have enough time to get into Truth In Masquerade (Or In Which There Will be Ascots; yup, I’m pretty sure that was promised, even if it was just in my head it still counts), modern AU, OFC fae AU (why am I capitalizing AU?), high school, daemons, the kiss of life (I may think about randomly at times) all the bb obi backstory stuff, the amazing haki stuff, and the one shots!  Your 100 prompts was frankly, astonishing, and during a Very Bad Time for me.  It was so amazing to have something like that to escape to.  This workings of this site remain a bit of a mystery to me; things that are original and amazing frequently get missed or ignored; and a picture of a shoe with a cat in it like breaks the internet?

@superhappybubbleslove again with the “someone who is so talented spends so much time appreciating and supporting others” For me, watchtower is like “Uncomfortable RL Canon but Won’t Ever be Canon Because Shoujo”  You do such an astonishing job of like Easter Egg Multi Level Pains.  As if the over-arching pain isn’t enough; there are little poison barbs expertly sprinkled in specially designed for the utmost torment.  Of all the pains (main story pains; not touching the B-SIDE pains because I’m still recovering from Friday) the little ones stick with me the most.  Ugh, that part where he drops the spoons is honestly like the worst for me…..I’ve just upset myself again.  And likewise with the I REALLY REALLY don’t want to know my reread count xD  I don’t have the time to even get started on what Melt, the Mountain Lion au, and everything else deserves.  (Like, I’m still kind of angry about how much I enjoy the ballet au - I mean wut?!)

@infinitelystrangemachinex your commentary is ALWAYS +100~  Automation Heart……I love your Shirayuki so much.  She’s always a science badass.  And the chemistry with Obi, LITERALLY no matter what the set up, is ALWAYS perfect.  I’m not comfortable admitting 1. how many times I have read Analysand 2. how many times I then REREread it when you did Overflow — also rereading Overflow obviously and 3. How many times I read St Elmos Fire once I finally realized I hadn’t read it.  Let’s just leave it at….a lot….  There are still a few things from last year I haven’t gotten to; someone might point out that I MAYBE would’ve had more than enough time to read those I had I skipped a rererereread or two….don’t pester me with your logics~  I’m sure they are equally amazing; I can’t wait to get to them!

@nebluus Apparently I’ve missed a few things on the classic “you must read” obiyuki lists.  However, I have at least read Blizzard.  ~~~~A FEW times.  It most definitely belongs on the list.  Everything about it is perfect.  Ugggh….the part about how he would be a great father… “Are you the fire Obi?”  Dead.  Even though no true relationship stuffs happens it literally kills me every time.  

@xaphrin sometimes I worry from your tumblrs you don’t understand how awesome you are; but then I think surely you see how many people tell you your awesome….right?!?!  I can be a little bit of a cinnamon bun when it comes to reading sexy times, but I feel like you always try (nay succeed) to include it as part of the Whole Relationship.  AND AND AND can we talk about how phone sex AU obi is. the. hottest. obi.  Which is so weird…I mean if someone would’ve told me I’d love “phone sex” au I would’ve rolled my eyes.   BUT ITS SO GREAT.  And obviously diplomacy.  OBVIOUSLY.

@ruleofexception for me you are like a box of cakes.  (real talk, some chocolates are gross, all cake is delicious)  “dead obi with oxygen shirayuki” nuuu please don’t do that….omg that was amazing.  Hunger games?!?!?….moar pls all of the hunger games.  Disembodied voices??…..amazing yes please (I loved Knowing You so much!!!).  Whew and there are many things I haven’t yet said about Fall of the Crown….but I super love it’s gothic feels and I am super excite~~  (The knife naming/giving?!?!!)  And you have more I haven’t even gotten to yet; I can’t wait~

@akai-vampire you take the bare-bones of canon and breath life into it~  When the smallest obiyuki bit happens, my initial reaction is “oh god nina will make me pay for this shortly”  Late at Night is so lovely; I feel like “what happened if Shirayuki didn’t make it out” isn’t explored much~  And omg that blurted confession in Dreams…..  And honestly, if you seriously SERIOUSLY get to 50 in “The Fifty Times You Stole My Heart” you WILL kill me.  It’s only at 6 and I can barely make it now~~~ Srs.  All of it.  

@vivianwisteria okay, the “how Obi and Shirayuki met as kids” canon mystery is ongoing…  However, the way you handled it in Adagio Appassionato is my absolute favorite~  (Canon needs to retcon Violin Shirayuki if Sorata ever actually gives us the backstory there.)  I love it so much that when you dropped that bomb chapter I MAY have put off a serious work assignment to go reread everything IMMEDIATELY.   I LOVE all of Conductor Obi with Issues so much~ Okay, and Love and Other Monstrosities I mean WUT.  There are no other words for that…just WUT WUT WUT!!! Whew, and Impasse, the Damon Lindelof (but better) bad guys here are very mysterious and exciting.  And OF COURSE I love found in translation…. And obviously I am SO VERY EXCITE about Ex Gratia~

@jaygirl987 The “worldbuilding” for Neighbors is astounding.  For srs, you have fleshed out Bruce, THE CAT, more than most fiction manages to with human side characters.  I literally can not wait to see where this goes; everyone’s been established so beautifully.  I adore your obiyuki relationship one-shots as well.  I can’t wait to catch up on the bingo stories I missed!!!!

@meibemeibelline I haven’t finished all of Apple Red and Gold yet…I REALLY need to make a obiyuki “to read” list post it note.  However, I did get to Counting Coins and Motel on the Hill during Bingo.  I LOVE your storytelling.  Your descriptions and atmosphere are wonderful.  Counting Coins was adorable, plus Obi as a hot teacher yes please.  Motel on the Hill is so lovely~~~  It’s beautifully melancholy.  I can’t wait to read the rest; I’m sorry it’s taken me this long!!

@codango obviously the road to Clarines is gravel is amazing.  You succeeded where 18 years of my real life experience did not…you made the cowboy aesthetic attractive~  I adore your characterization of EVERYONE in this and I’ve been super excited for every chapter.  Seriously, the individual elements should not appeal to me, but your skill and ability made them in to something I love.  

@glitter-and-golden  Okay, I never knew that I needed a mithra obi, BUT I DID.  If I Walk It's With You Beside Me is a pleasure to read~  SO, I’m also a sucker for fictional food; and after I read this the first time I totally had to eat breakfast for dinner~  I love everything about this, Ryuu, their cottage, Zen, sassy mithra Obi.  I am so excite!

OMG this was supposed to be faster… -.- I’m past out of time, so please forgive my abbreviated loves:

@onoheiwa  - both your kiss stories were absolutely adorable~~ And I loved the amusement park; Obi’s disappointment when the park was closed was perfect.  I can’t wait to read the rest of your stuff!!  

@krispy-kream - I loved haki as the amyrlin and izana as forsaken SO MUCH.  My memories of early WoT are mixed to say the least….If you want to go ahead and redo all the early books I’d be %100 on board with that.

@another-miracle - your intermissions are beautiful~  your prose is also lovely in general,  I’m so sorry I’m behind!!!  I’m VERY MUCH looking forward to reading everything you’ve given us~

@littleaverill - your role reversal au was great~~~  I love the idea of obi growing up in the shop~ I can only imagine how he’d be different.  I REALLY love your style; there’s an element of the unknown and the implied that always leaves me like I just had a piece of cake that was EVER SO SLIGHTLY smaller that I would’ve cut myself — super delicious but if you even want to send me another slice I’d be okay with it! xD

@nonstopdoodle - The Spice of Life was so cute!   Ryuu as AI was perfect~~  There was something very nostalgically Firefly about it that I loved so much~  And just ftr, your ponies are SO SO SO CUTE

@rebeccaravenroth - okay, the balcony-plants story for bingo was so adorable.  I am fluent in passive aggressive post it notes.  I adore your writing style and storytelling~

I’m sorry I left out a few AO3 people that I don’t know their Tumblr blog name or may not be on Tumblr!!!

[elysiumrp]

Congratulations SAWYER! You have been accepted as Triston Fitz. Please go through the checklist and send in your account within 24 hours. If you need more time, make sure you send a message to the main.

Can I just say that your application blew me away? I can’t wait to see your take on Triston played out for us on the dash. You clearly tapped into the emotional conflict that I tried to instill in his character whenever I wrote his bio, and I can’t help but be extremely excited that someone else has noticed the innerworkings and details of Triston and his personality. Your sample paragraph in particular gave me a full fleshing out of the version of Triston that you have identified, and I am in love with the various details that you’ve already added as you’ve branched off from his bio. He’s a conflicted vampire to say the least, and he’s a conflicted vampire in a very conflicted time at that, so Triston’s future is uncertain and up to you to create. I can’t wait to see it. Welcome to Elysium!!

OOC INFO

Name: Sawyer Age: 21 Timezone: PST Preferred Pronouns: He/Him Previous RP Experience: [RFP] Activity Level:  As with any writer my activity will be completely dependent on how involved I get into the group (hopefully as much as possible right?). You can expect daily if not semi-hourly activity from me. I will be on the dash and have never recieved an activity warning in my collective years as a writer. (I don’t apply to groups that I don’t intend to put 100% of my effort into.) Anything Else:  P.S It’s been a while since I have attempted Tumblr based RP so it may take me a little bit longer than usual to set up an account if I am accepted. Only because I will have to refresh on xKit and all that jazz. (I code my own layouts for Roleplayer.me, Tumblr and Aniroleplay so I am definitely well versed in the coding formats for Tumblr.) Just figured I should let you all know that. Hopefully that doesn’t chase anyone off of this app.

IC INFO

Character Name: Triston Fitz Why did you choose this character:

For me to explain why I chose Triston out of the slew of other available open males I will have to tell you a bit about myself. As long as I can remember I have always been fascinated with despair. Yes I know that is a damned awful thing for someone to say, but let me explain; To me despair is the quintessential foundation for absolutely all human interaction. It quite literally defines who we are. Think about it; What has shaped you more as an individual? Your happy moments or the moments where you sink so low in your own despair that you either have to sacrifice a part of yourself to continue or show that you have what it takes to overcome adversity and tribulation. So for mark number one I was helplessly drawn in to Triston’s included details. The fact that to him, protecting those he cares about is more important than even his own life. It would leave me ample room to establish that he would never change this about himself, but that it eats him alive because he also knows he can’t ever go back to the people he cares most about; His family. Triston Fitz truly seemed like the character that could fit my unique quirks. His story spoke to me, as a brother myself I understand completely that ultimate level of protection that is a fundamental part of his personality. At the same time this man who wants to protect and help keep people safe is also aware of his own ravenous hunger. He attacked a man just walking down the street, I can only imagine how deeply that must be ingrained into his psyche. It would be the perfect form of self-betrayal; here you have a man so devoted to protection that he has become a bodyguard of the supernatural locale ruthlessly devouring a man out of sheer unkempt desire. So your question was; Why did I chose this character? That much is simple; the character spoke to me on a level that none others have so far. Which is why I am here, applying to hopefully breathe life to what I perceived as one of the most emotionally complex characters in your roster. I feel that I myself would be a great writer for the role as the “emotionally complex, yet equally stoic” man is sort of my personal favorite role. Several of the characters I have loved the most have been mentally complex characters. * A list of some of my previous characters/roles I have filled. If the admins would like direct links to profiles they can request them and I will happily provide.

—- Nathaniel Schyler: An abusive, controlling uncle/doctor. His fame was employed to mask his dark tendencies. He was very much a “puppet master” type role.

Kurty-Kurt: Obviously this is my nickname for my lovable werewolf with cancer. He was very emotionally unstable and very powerful as a new turned werewolf. This character shared the paternal protective nature that Triston displays to the point that he had been seriously burned in his wolf form while trying to protect his wounded mother figure from a pyro-obsessed witch. This left his wolf hideously disfigured until the next new moon and even carried over to his human form in the form of burn damage to his lungs.

Dominic Rilai: Dominic was one of the first roles I ever took on in the “supernatural” verses. A Celt turned vampire in a religious ceremony that promised to make him the ultimate warrior for his people. The ultimate protector, little did he know he wasn’t the only one of his kind. This role I feel is especially worth noting as Dominic was an vampire from around Triston’s era. (the mid to late 1500’s) His age granted him a healthy amount of power so I had to exercise the restraint of a character that had this power in the past. I know that this often can be one of the main concerns for admins when accepting applications for older more experienced character roles. How did that spiderman line go? “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Deucalion: Yes that’s right. I played none other than the Demon Wolf himself. The best part? People loved the unique way I established detail. Seeing as Deucalion is blind unless in his wolf form (in which he sees in a way similar to echo location it seems) I had to come up with different more textile ways to depict my details. Instead of focusing on what my character may have seen I focused on what he could feel. Even going as far as to clearly depict that I could proficiently write characters with adverse situations/conditions.

Eobard Thawne: The Reverse Flash. This role lasted for nearly 3 and a half years before I retired it as the RPG he was a part of fell apart due to a group of clique writers.

Abbadon: The Lord of The Abyss. A deity for a god-verse RP. Abbadon was the master of secrets and the abyss. He was constantly plotting and establishing connections that could give him advantageous opportunities.

Describe your plan for them:

I plan only to do my absolute best to embody what I felt your depiction of Triston Fitz was and to grow more with the community in hopes of forming connections that spark great writes and drive evolution of not just Triston, but any and everyone who would like to interact with us (in the event I am chosen to be his writer ofc). The most ideal way for things to work out would be that I get accepted, set up the profile and then jump head first into meeting and greeting the rest of the community. I’m a bit of a ‘go-getter’ so you could expect me to be one of the people constantly driving to connect to the other characters and writers. I’d love to eventually depict Triston so well that the admins themselves will be happy they chose me to be his writer. As a writer I am very driven by the story, I want to do anything I can to ensure that Triston does his part to help the story progress and bring the community more and more interesting and compelling interactions with this amazing character. He offers so much potential that I was actually quite surprised he was still listed as open. I want to tap into the despair that I feel lies within Triston’s heart and use it to flesh out even more of his background and story as he and I progress with the group and it’s plots. Truly I am in high hopes that I have finally found a new place to write and share my creative musings from a personal standpoint. Reading through EVERYTHING on your navi leads me to believe that the admins have experienced some of the unfortunate events that I have so they can perhaps offer a more unified and stable community for me to write in and partake of. The fact that their is an anti-clique rule is honestly amazing in my mind. Most groups don’t give a rats ass if their writers only write with literally 4 people in a group of 30+. So again, for the character I plan on putting my best foot forward and engaging with the other writers to help do my part to shape the group and the community we are establishing together as a whole. I’d like to depict that even though Triston’s area of employment may make people assume that he would be a big, daft jarhead bouncer type of man that you can’t judge a book by it’s amazon reviews. I want to open people’s eyes to the inner struggle of a man who lost it all and knows that despite how truly he desires it that he will never be able to get back the one thing that gave his life true meaning; His family. He is such a compelling and driving character, but I also feel he would do his best to depict his image as the opposite. I would love to highlight the contrasts in his personality. Almost as if there were two Tristons; The one that died the night of the attack and the one that lived to never tell the tale. These two beings are at constant war with themselves inside of him; He wants to protect, but needs to destroy (feed). He is a beautiful disaster, a brave warrior and one hell of a brother. At the end of the line that is what I want to do with him.

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the initial reveal of the supernatural world:

Initially Triston wasn’t certain what to feel. The veil that had kept most of their lives intact had finally been pulled back. He wasn’t sure whether or not it was the greatest thing ever to happen to his kind or if it was truly the beginning of the end. Man kind was never known for it’s accepting nature. Could the humans really accept his kind? Was there any hope that the polarity of the two could level out? Or had this reveal merely started the clock to the end? How long would it be until it started? The hate crimes and targeted oppression of his kind were all but inevitable. His protective nature would drive him to be off-put at first, the sheer uncertainty of the seemingly instantaneous reveal of the supernatural world would certainly be something that would be the talk of the ages. He only hoped that this wasn’t the calm before the storm. Or much worse the eye of the hurricane, surrounded by the storm as it rages around them. Triston would be uncertain, the endless stream of questions brought up by his long life would rush through his mind like the torrential current of the sea. He has been among man in secret for a majority of his long life. Five hundred years is plenty of time for him to have seen the true nature of man. To destroy what they don’t understand…

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the current state of the world, and how it impacts them as an individual:

Triston’s original uncertainty had come to fruition. Within the short duration and multiple collapses of the councils the humans had already established a ridiculous rule to prevent supernaturals from gathering. Segregation at it’s absolute most raw. The ways of man that he spoke of before? These were those ways. He knew all too well from his seemingly endless years on the world of man that the peace would not last. As if it had ever existed in the first place. There were problems of course with everything, but if there was anything Triston had learned from his long life it was how to adapt and survive. While the others were now forced into hiding he had already been in hiding; from himself, from the humans and even from his family. The rebellion gave him at least a minute glimmer of hope for the supernaturals en masse. At least they hadn’t given up and succumbed to this oppression. They still were uniting, even if the union was founded on the blood and bones of their friends and families. The unfortunate souls that were lost to the unavoidable conflict between the two worlds. Triston personally would face a much deeper confliction now. Of course he is pro supernatural, but does that have to inherently make him anti-human? Why did everything always have to be black and white. He was never good with absolutes, Hell the man couldn’t even bring the two parts of himself together; What hope did he have of trying to maintain the last shreds of decentsy and civility among the two castes? For now Triston would stick to what he knew; Protecting the Merlot and it’s denizens from the harsh reality that was encircling them all.

Para Sample:

The wind blew harshly against his cheeks as his footsteps carried him down the roads of the city he now called home. Triston had made a habit of walking a specific route every day that most would have wrongly assumed was to keep his toned physique up to par. In truth though Triston hoped by at least walking the streets, showing his face that he could open the eyes of the two sides of the broiling feud and show them that it was possible to live among eachother peacefully. In his mind it didn’t fully make sense, but he felt the need to do it regardless. He took the time on these walks to observe his city and the people of it; doing whatever he could in order to learn the current state of affairs. Triston wasn’t one to directly confront someone for information, his time as a bodyguard had show him that patience and a listening ear accomplish much more than muscle and brawn ever could. Just as he was getting lost in his observations he would collide with another male, the force of his spaced out walking apparently enough to knock the other man’s groceries all over the sidewalk. “What the hell was that?!? Watch where you’re going punk!” The other would holler out in spite towards Triston, the tone in his voice rang through and through with aggression. Triston had only moments to assess the situation. He stooped low and collected the other man’s groceries, returning them to the other man immediately upon standing to his feet.

His toned arm extended the bag as he spoke his apology, “Yeah, That was my bad. No dodging that, Sorry man. Have a nice day.” His arm remained there for several seconds as the other male stood bewildered by the sincerity in his voice. Triston would even let the edges of his lips curve upward, forming a light smile that accompanied his apology almost perfectly. The Merlot certainly taught him how to diffuse a potentially violent situation as quickly and with as little confrontation as possible. The higher ups didn’t like it when they received complaints about violence among their patrons. That was after all why they paid him to do the job. He was big, he was the personification of the golden boy. His smiles charmed vipers and his words calmed the raging seas, five hundred years in the making Triston had become a master of speechcraft. The man finally collected himself and accepted his groceries back before heading on his way, a content look on his face masked how terrible the man must have felt for reacting so abrasively before. Triston simply tucked his hands into his pockets and continued his walk. Another conflict avoided, another person shown compassion and understanding. That’s how Triston would take his stand in everything that was going on, he just wanted everyone to try and coexist. They had done it for so long without any issues except for the occassional upset, but you don’t judge the entirety of the supernatural worlds based on the actions of specific individuals. There were good people here too, some that didn’t always have the choice of becoming what they are now. Hell, even he didn’t remember any vampire appearing before him. Everything from that day was a haze lost in his adrenaline fueled need to protect his brother from certain injury. Could the humans really judge them so harshly? Hadn’t the humans been waging wars long before the supernaturals were even publicly acknowledged as a reality? The entirety of that situation just left him feeling more desolate than before. One thing was certain, Triston would do whatever it took to keep those he cared for safe. From anyone or anything that tried to harm them; Human or not.

At the same time Triston had been fighting with his conflicted heart again; one side wanted everyone to try and restore the balance that once existed despite how fragile it was, the other knows all too well that any connections that could be made can just as easily be broken or more likely stolen away from you. These damned cynical thoughts plagued his thoughts immensely, he reached to the bridge of his nose and pinched it tightly. He shook his head and tilted his head higher. “Just gotta keep going. You owe it to them. You’re a survivor and you know it. Keep them at hands distance, dont get attached and you’ll be fine.” How were they ever supposed to fix their situation if they couldn’t even agree on what the issues were? He shook his head again before rounding the corner, the inviting visage of The Merlot looming just ahead. He plastered back on his broken smile and spoke to himself again, “Just another day in Hell right?” It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate his job, he just didn’t see it being his final stop. Sure he had settled down for now and tried to establish at least something worth holding on to, but he wasn’t one for hopeless optimism in a world of cold reality. Eventually he knew something would likely drive him to continue his wandering. He wasn’t sure if he was searching for a new meaning, a new start or a new life, but one thing was absolutely clear; He could never, ever go back.

Any questions/concerns/things you’d like to change: (siblings to add, pronouns, sexuality you’d like to specify, personality, face claim, history, etc., etc.)

The only thing I would like to request is input on the app regardless of acceptance or not. As I am returning to tumblr RPG after a decent break the ability to improve or progress further is all I ask for in return for my time. So please let me know if there is anything you guys have to offer as input. Positive or negative; It will be used constructively to help improve my writing and/or future apps.

P.S I am definitely capable of writing much more than I did for the sample. I actually prefer novella writing as I feel it lets me flesh out more distinctive and concise details. I tried to stick a bit closer to the lighter end of para for this as to not come off as a try hard. If you would like a more lengthy sample to get a better idea of my writing ability please don’t hesitate to say so!

[infiniteorangethethird]

btw shoutout to those who feel they are aspec because of their autism. To the aros, aces, apls, afams, and everyone else who feels their orientation is a direct result of their neurodivergency. Your feelings are valid, and you're not "just reinforcing stereotypes" by being yourself, bc you're not a character in a story, but a real person with real, lived experiences. I see you and I feel you