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limbuscompanysituations · 3 months ago

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I want to ask the opposite of the distortion reader x sinners, the sinners react to the reader manifesting their EGO in a desperate moment, and the reader attributing the manifestation to the corresponding advice given by each sinner

Look, when I started writing this I thought "hey this is going to be fun!" and although it was incredibly fun, my wrist also hurts omg. So anyway I once again commit to my insanity and write a very long post. Enjoy!

Faust:

"It is possible to manifest EGO from one's own experiences, as well as when they are overcome with emotions. Whether they be positive or negative, the end result stays the same." It was the beginning of one of Faust's long, wordy explanations.

They were curious after witnessing her manifest her EGO in combat before. It was such an oddity to manifest power beyond imagination that they couldn't help but ask. Most of the explanation was lost to them once she finished it, but the initial part was simple enough to remember.

Faust leans on her weapon for support. The tips of her pale hair are stained red with her own blood. She pants, gasping for air while trying to keep her eyes open. They've been fighting together for hours now, trying to hold the line long enough for the other sinners to come to their aid. It seems to be fruitless, the enemy hasn't given them any space to breathe. They are almost as exhausted as Faust, but she's been taking the worst of the beating on purpose.

She may look cold and aloof but they know that deep down, she has done so for their own sake. They were angry at her, but mostly at themself for being this weak. If they could do more, they could protect her.

Her explanation on EGO echoed in their mind, and for a split second they had a flash of hope. If only they could draw that out of themself, then they could get out of this. They close their eyes and take a deep breath.

Memories and emotions, then. This is all of me, for all of you, Faust.

It's a promise they make to themself, and in that moment they change the flow of combat. One by one, those enemies that threatened to bring them down are swept away by a wave of power unlike any other.

Faust's eyes widen and she realizes what is happening in front of herself. This is her beloved's EGO, manifested when they need it the most. A faint blush spreads across her cheeks, realizing many things at once. Dying did not matter to her, as sinners always have Dante who can rewind, but perhaps it was the possibility of witnessing her death that made them do it. She's flattered, exhilarated and excited. There are endless instances of Faust all across the universe, yet this Faust ended up being the one who matters the most to them.

When the enemies are wiped out she falls to her knees with a light chuckle. Her vision is blurry and starting to fade out. She is grateful not only for them to have saved her life, but also because their existence makes hers feel more important.

No longer resigned to be one in a million, but one Faust who is loved and cherished.

_____

Yi Sang:

They fight back to back, gritting their teeth and keeping their opponents at bay just barely. Yi Sang can seem frail but he's a skilled combatant, and so are they. However, there's still a limit to how much two people can do against an endless number of foes. Yi Sang's resolve is beginning to fail, and so is his body.

They help him stay on his feet, supporting him with a hand around his waist while they brandish their weapon with their other hand. It seems to be impossible to turn this around. They are done for.

"The same shards of broken glass that bring you nothing but pain... Can be put back together, piece by piece, and build a window through which you can witness a better, colorful and more hopeful word."

His words come back to mind. They remember vaguely asking him how he could manifest his EGO during combat once. It was so impressive back then that the image was still burnt in their mind.

It's what I need now: the power to build a window to a better world.

They grit their teeth and hiss out a heavy breath. If there's nothing but hope left for them, then they will grab that opportunity. Willing their entire body and mind to cooperate, they push their own heart to its limit and climb that window.

Yi Sang is barely conscious but he can see it all happening. One minute his body and mind are so weary he knows he will faint soon, and then the next minute a figure so bright takes over his every thought. Their EGO wipes out their enemies one by one, and even though it is a terrifying power to witness, he feels elated. Their pain and their hopes are all bare before him, pieced together in a beautiful mosaic that bleeds hope through it. In the middle of this mosaic they stand, terrifyingly beautiful, their power uncontested.

It takes him a moment to realize they are no longer holding him and that he's fallen on his knees. It doesn't matter, however. His body has never felt any lighter. He calls out their name in a whisper and his consciousness gives in to the darkness.

____

Don Quixote:

Even the brave aspiring fixer will find a situation impossible to turn around. Her beloved squire did everything they could to support her, but she's heavily wounded and can barely take another step. In this moment of desperation they can still hear her energetic voice calling for her heroic steed. Except right now she can't muster up the strength to call upon it.

"Tis an unjust world, and I, Don Quixote, swear to battle evildoers to the end!" It wasn't really an explanation on how exactly she used her EGO, rather a proud exclamation of her own power.

Still it's better than nothing.

They focus on this sliver of hope and grab it with their hand. It is an unfair world, and Don Quixote should not fall here. She is the heroine of this tale, and she will fight until the end. In this moment her squire promises the same.

I will fight injustice by her side, so neither of us can fall here!

They hold this newfound power in their hands and charge forth, dashing past a wounded Don Quixote and crashing into their enemies with ruthless strength. They're crushed into bloody pulps before they can even blink.

By the back lines, Don Quixote stares at her lover, eyes wide and teary. She will lose consciousness soon, but witnessing the power of their resolve manifested in such a way makes her heart beat faster. She wants to kiss them; she wants to commend them; she wants to be the one who protects them to the end, while also being the one to fight all evils in this world by their side. Don Quixote is proud of her dearest squire beyond words, still she is capable of speech.

"Hark, squire!" She exclaims, "Thy power is most-!" and before she can utter the word "magnificent", she collapses.

____

Ryoshu:

When they asked Ryoshu what it meant to cast her EGO, the sinner stared off into the distance and muttered the words "It is my soul, bared to the world."

They nodded then, knowing that this was as precise of an explanation as possible, while remarking that that could mean pretty much anything.

Then they found themselves cut off from the rest and fighting for their lives against a foe so persistent it could take the smirk off of Ryoshu's face. The wounds that piled on her body grew to be almost unbearable. For Ryoshu, who was a competent assassin capable of ending most conflicts with a single move, it meant that they were both in trouble of the deadly kind.

Still they hoped to be able to do something, anything.

Ryoshu dashed forward once more, putting all of her strength into a single strike that could tear apart anything, but the monster not only deflected her hit, it also threw her back against a wall with force so immense that a sickening crunching sound echoed around them. Ryoshu fell limp to the ground, still breathing but with some of her limbs twisted in an unnatural manner.

They ran to her side, with tears in their eyes while they recognized the impossibility of the fight they found themselves in. Then they remembered her words and everything made sense suddenly.

"My soul, bared like my teeth." They whispered and held her body gently in their arms. Her dazed eyes rolled back and forth, then they found their face. Ryoshu smiled in pain, and if she could, she would have cupped their face in a hand.

"T.I." She whispered back.

They nodded and let go. Facing the monster with the fury of a legion, ready to bare their teeth. The power that came from their very core lashed out in a focused manner. The creature had no chance, the moment they left Ryoshu's side, it was already dead and sliced to a thousand pieces.

Ryoshu's eyes are wide and bloodshot, her bloody, crazed grin splitting her face ear to ear. If she wasn't choking on her own blood she would've laughed upon seeing that asshole being torn apart. Her eyes glimmer with barely contained admiration. She already knew they were capable of something like manifesting EGO, but seeing it first-hand is much more intense than anything she ever imagined.

She witnesses a soul that is vibrant, mesmerizing, deadly and indomitable all the same.

____

Meursault:

"To wield my EGO is to hold everything that weighs me down in my hands and then put that weight on that which hinders me." Meursault's explanations are usually more thorough and less abstract. The oddity of hearing him describe his EGO in such a way stuck with them.

When the tide of the fight turned against them and there seemed to be no hope to find, they remembered those words. He tanked all the hits he could, trusting that his large, trained body would be enough to shield them all the way through. But even if Meursault is a force to be reckoned with, the foes they face are much more than they can handle.

He's bloodied, battered and bruised, barely able of standing on his own feet. His knees tremble and he's breathing heavy, hands shaking while he tries to keep his eyes trained on the enemy. They circle them, and in spite of trying to keep them safe, the moment this wave strikes again, they both will be done.

"It's a bit foolish, isn't it?" They laugh nervously, "To carry all that weight all by yourself."

Meursault's eyes drift towards them briefly, and they can hear his response in their mind. Something along the lines of "it's what must be done."

You don't need to do it all by yourself, you idiot.

They clench their hands in fists and close their eyes, concentrating in how heavy their heart feels knowing that he is so hurt because they aren't stronger. Their jaw clenches and the tears that threaten to come out never do. Instead a power that they didn't know they had in themself surges and overflows. Suddenly they are the tide, and the battle doesn't matter anymore.

They become the force that they need to be for him; they become the one to bear the weight of the world. This weight is unbearable for those around, and they are knocked out uncoscious without even realizing it.

In the middle of the silent battlefield stand Meursault and his lover. While they look proud and surprised with themself, Meursault looks dumbfounded. He has always expected to be the one to carry them both forward, and he was always fine with it. He didn't want to burden them too much, what he wanted was to protect them all along. It is clear that being stuck on that has hindered himself from growing to trust them more.

"Ah..." He mutters, "You were correct all along."

They glare at him, as if to say "I told you so!" A slightly proud smile on their lips. They collapse a few seconds later and Meursault sighs.

____

Hong Lu:

He isn't built for prolonged fights. Although he was pushed to unimaginable limits by his family, there's only so far he can go in combat. They're both on their own, and the situation is dire.

His dominant hand is incapacitated and he's doing what he can with his other free hand, but it's not enough. Soon the spear is flung from his grasp and he has nothing but his own body to fight with. Still he keeps his flawless combat stance, taunting the enemy with a serene smile. He's not ready to surrender, not yet.

More than keeping appearances, Hong Lu can't let go because he's not alone. He hates the pain, but they are with him and he cannot let them be hurt in his presence. This is something they know, because they've asked him before.

Instead of recalling that answer, the words that come to their mind are different.

"There is a place where nightmares and dreamscapes meet, in my mind. If I close my eyes for a brief moment, I can almost touch it. If I reach my hand out, I can feel the taste of my own salty tears on my tongue... And then I open my eyes, and find that I cannot distinguish that from this."

When they asked him about his EGO, the answer they got was quite worrying. They tried to comfort him then, but he smiled and said he was fine.

Even now he's trying to keep that appearance. It's not fair.

Their hands close into fists, and they see the enemy lunge forward again. Hong Lu stands on their way, his still serene smile building a wall between that pain and themself.

He will let himself be hurt and maimed if it means they will stay safe, but if he dies, then who will protect them?

No, rather, the thought that occupies their mind is different. What they think in that split second before the enemy's weapon connects with Hong Lu's flesh is that for them, this is that place. The world that connects dreams and nightmares unfolds before them, and their own grief floods it.

They flutter across the battlefield gracefully and deflect the strike that would've killed Hong Lu, now being the one standing between him and danger. They unleash their madness on their enemy over and over again, taking out those who still have a will to fight and frightening those who don't into falling unconscious.

Hong Lu, who stood there serenely guarding them, seems to finally crumble down. He falls to his knees, smile vanishing from his features and replaced by a look of complete shock. His lips are parted, and tears fill his eyes. He wanted to protect them to the end, but he finally realized how weak he still is. In this power vaccuum, they grew to be the one to outshine him. Turbulent emotions swirl inside him: anger, helplessness, pride, hopefulness, grief, joy. He can't pick one.

Still, even if he feels embarrassed he couldn't do what he promised, he is taken by relief. The smile that comes to his face is not one he forces, but one he welcomes.

____

Heathcliff:

He's the stubborn kind, even when he shouldn't be. They know this, and they accept it, but when it comes to fighting together he's always trying to outdo himself. As if they will think he's cooler if he tries to look all manly and imposing. They could give less of a fuck about that.

Maybe it's not because he's proud and stubborn, maybe he's been shoving himself in front of every attack aimed at them this whole time because he's genuinely concerned. They know he's got a good heart, even if his words are harsh and crude. Heathcliff can paint himself as a thug, but he's a genuinely good man.

"Bloody hell..." He groans, barely capable of holding his bat in his two hands. Their enemies scowl at him, grinning with glee at his pain, and that pisses them off.

"Ah, the EGO thing? I dunno, I just think about something that makes me really pissed and go from there." That was Heathcliff's explanation when he was inquired about his EGO once. It was short, clear and it made sense. When he cast his EGO, he really did look angry.

It's the same anger they feel now. How dare these cunts think they can take him down in front of them?

They hold their weapon in both hands so tight their knuckles have gone white. Between their gritted teeth, they growl curses at their enemies. The anger that takes their heart pours out and every blow and strike they deliver becomes deadly. They maim and break and pound their enemies into a bloody pulp, still cursing at them the whole time.

This righteous anger makes Heathcliff pause and look at the scene with wide eyes. A second ago they were cornered and hopeless of making a comeback. He had already accepted the fact he was going to get a good rewind from Dante in no time. What bothered him the most was allowing them to get hurt in the process. Turns out he worried for nothing.

But then, he stopped to think for one second and realized something.

They have an EGO?!

Whether they had already used EGO before or they just manifested it, he didn't know. The only thought that crossed his mind was that he wouldn't want to be on their bad side after witnessing this storm.

____

Ishmael:

"I spent so much time sharpening this harpoon that I just... Wanted to feel like it was taking me somewhere." She paused, then she corrected herself, "No, I wanted to feel like it was bringing me something. Whether it be the guts of a whale or the one I hate the most."

She gritted her teeth when she finished explaining exactly what she thought about her EGO. They nodded and quietly listened to her.

They could never ask the exact details of Ishmael's time at the sea. Whenever she told them about it, it was all out of her own volition. It didn't seem fair to pry on her life like that, even if they were already dating.

It's strange how random memories always come up when you're at your worst.

Ishmael is still trying to push back a monster so hideous it is beyond imagination. One of her eyes is shut and bleeding, while her other is wide open. She grits her teeth, sinking her feet into the ground and trying to hold the position as best as she can. Her mace has fallen somewhere and is out of sight. She has no hopes of fighting back, so she puts all her focus into defending.

Even if she cannot see it, her shield is starting to crack.

They can see it, and they can understand it. It's because they got wounded first, and now she has to fight all alone. There isn't much else to do, though, the battle is already over. In a matter of seconds her shield will be shattered into pieces and right after it's her turn.

Kneeling on the floor and observing the scene unfold before them, they are taken by an intense, undescribable feeling.

Where am I going...? What am I doing...?

They can't even protect themself, much less her, but still they want to do something.

I want to do what it takes to get us out of here.

It's nothing but a simple thought. They have no harpoon to sharpen or shield to wield, they only have themself and this feeling to show. They rise to their feet in spite of their pain and blindly walk towards the monster.

Ishmael notices it from the corner of her vision and yells at them to stop and stand back but they are incapable of doing so. They walk until they are shoulder to shoulder with her, then they slide their arm into her shield's handle and bury their feet into the ground.

"I don't care what happens to me but..." They push the shield forward and the monster stumbles one step back, "I want its guts."

They grit their teeth and breathe out. The power that flows into Ishmael's shield is enough to throw the monster off balance. When it falls back, they let go of the shield and pounce on the creature. They rip it apart with their bare hands, eyes dull through the whole process.

Ishmael falls to her knees, exhausted and in pain, and watches the spectable before herself. This sensation is the same when the other sinners use their EGO, so could it be...? Yes, yes it probably is. She watches with morbid admiration as her lover tears apart the creature that almost killed them both, suddenly realizing what their words meant. She doesn't mean to, but yet she smiles at the scene.

____

Rodion:

She laughs and jokes, but their situation is dire. They find thelselves in a inhospitable area, but the worst part is that one of the factions of the place decided they didn't like the Limbus crew. While most of the sinners managed to take Dante to a safer spot, Rodion and themself ended up stranded from the rest of the bunch.

The situation wouldn't be so bad if their enemies could just stop coming up with backups. It's like fighting against an endless swarm of foes. Both of them are exhausted and paying for their carelessness. Rodion has one limp arm, and she tries to wield her axe with the other but a blow to her shoulder makes it impossible to swing the weapon without turning her whole body around. They know she's past her breaking point, but still she makes time to look at them and smile. Only to receive a blow right after and spit out blood.

"Isn't it ironic? Sometimes you think you see the situation ahead better than everyone else." Rodion once said, "You think you know what you have to do. You think you know how you can do it... But then it turns out that it's all wrong, and you accomplished nothing. And you're left out in the cold, alone, with only a bloody axe to show for it."

They only asked her about her EGO. When she gave this explanation of sorts, she had an unexpected regretful expression on her face. They remember having raised a hand, about to pat her shoulder and thinking of a way to comfort her, when she smiled and laughed her own words off, playfully winking at them and excusing herself.

Even now, her smile is but a facade, hiding how much she regrets being there.

Isn't it okay to make mistakes sometimes, though? To err is not a sin, but rather what makes us human.

Is what they wanted to say to her back then, but now that they missed their chance, there's only one thing they can do.

They leap forward and shatter the flow of combat. The temperature drops and the enemies are scrambling to understand what happened. When they walk past Rodion, their eyes lock briefly. They disappear within the mass of enemies and an unnatural silence takes over the battlefield.

Blood splatters on the floor and on the wall, Rodion cannot see what is happening but she instinctively feels a shiver run down her spine. The feeling is familiar, something like what she feels when either Ryoshu or Yi Sang cast their EGO. For some unknown reason, she doesn't worry about her partner. She tries to see past the confused foes in front of her, and only has a split second to step aside before a body flies her way. She dodges it in time and what once was a person becomes a blood splatter on the wall behind her.

Within the corridor that this body's path opened, she once again locks eyes with her partner. Panting and with a bloodied face, they stare at her with dull eyes. They don't seem to be wounded, which is a relief, but at the same time...

Suddenly the silence breaks and the formation of their enemies is in disarray. A couple more bodies are flung into the air and splatter against the floor and walls. Rodion didn't expect them to have an EGO so interesting. Actually she has no idea what kind of EGO it is. She can only classify it as terrifyingly hot. Yeah, she will kiss and pamper them a lot when the fight is over, but first they have to survive it.

She grins and swings her axe towards a distracted enemy, slicing his skull in half.

____

Sinclair:

"How do you manifest EGO?" Was a simple enough question. They were expecting a textbook answer, something that would take a while to understand, but still understandable.

"EGO..." Sinclair repeated, eyes growing distant as he silently pondered.

"It's okay if it's supposed to be a secret..."

He smiled at them and shook his head, "It's not, as far as I know, it's just..." He pressed his lips into a thin line, "I think about everything I could never do in my life, and then I... If only I can will myself into doing it..."

Sinclair didn't say anything much after that, and they didn't press him. Sometimes curiosity was about to take over and they felt like asking again, but they always held back. If it was something he couldn't say, then no need to be pushy.

Sinclair was gentle and easy to get along with, but when it came to battling he seemed to change completely. That bright boy who's prone to being anxious is no longer, instead there stands a bloodthirsty man, desperate to claim the lives of his enemies.

There's only a couple of them left, but there's also one wounded Sinclair, barely able to hold his weapon, left. They sit on the floor, back leaning against the wall and holding their bloody stomach. It's really embarrassing, especially after they told him they could handle a fight. Because they are incapable of keeping their promise, Sinclair has to push himself past his limit to keep them safe.

They sigh and look at the heavens above. The wound is not severe, they can probably survive it. The main problem here is that Sinclair will die, and other than that, the wounds on their pride are deeper than the one on their stomach.

Isn't it pathetic that I sit here and pity myself, instead of doing something?

They can't shake that feeling. They stare at Sinclair once again, with his trembling hands and knees, fighting off two enemies at once. He barely blocks a hit and fails to parry the other. The slice goes through his hand and he has three fingers severed at once.

Anger bubbles up their throat and they clench their jaw. Whether they are angry at their enemies or at the world for putting them in such a situation, they don't know, but when they rise to their feet that anger makes them feel lighter than ever. They dash back into the fight and swear to whatever is hearing that they won't live in regret like this anymore.

Sinclair is astounded when the weapon he clung to with all his might is snatched from his hand and then used to slice one of the two enemies in half. The person didn't have a second to realize it, their armor and flesh are sliced clean as if made of clay. The other enemy gives a step back and yells a threat. It's no use.

His partner follows up and slashes at the armored enemy, which barely blocks the blow in time. Sinclair watches as his spear's shape changes and his beloved growls unintelligible words at their common foe. Even the pitch of their voice seems off.

Then it finally hits him what's happening is that they manifested their EGO for the first time. He falls on his knees, heart racing while he watches the enemy lose ground and have all the damage they've inflicted being inflicted back at them. His partner moves with grace and malice, and even though they're clearly hurt they don't seem to show any sign of pain.

He blushes and licks his lips. He never thought his usually peaceful lover would be capable of such carnage, much less of reveling in it. It's an unexpected, but not unwelcome development.

____

Outis:

She's strict with herself more than she is with others, and few can recognize this; her lover being one of them. They wanted to find better ways of helping her so once they asked her how did she manifest her EGO.

"Sometimes you say 'the Odyssey had a purpose'," They explained, "I was wondering if you do it by saying that."

"Just the words aren't enough." Outis looked down at the floor, "It's much more than that." She sighed.

"I want to understand it." They pressed.

"If you really want to know, I think about the path that's ahead of me, and how much I still have to accomplish. I think of all the missed opportunities in the past, how many more I'll miss in the future and..." Her voice drifted away, "It doesn't matter what I have to do. I see an opportunity I cannot miss, and I seize it."

They were expecting more of a textbook explanation of it, but this one was clear enough and made sense. Outis seemed just as happy to let go of the subject, instead talking about something lighter.

Maybe she thought they'd forget about it, but she wasn't aware that they commit everything she says to mind. It's because Outis is devoted to them that they can give everything they have in return.

Even now, when the fight is pretty much lost, with one of her arms on the floor and barely able of wielding her weapon in the other hand, she's giving everything she has to keep them out of harm's way. They bitterly watch her throw her life away for somebody as incompetent as them.

The mindless creature that charges at Outis is uncaring of the outcome of this battle either way. They just happen to be on its way. They knew that this job was going to be dangerous, but they never thought they would end up being so unfitting for it. In exchange, Outis has to fight for two to compensate.

They bitterly stare at the beast who wobbles its way towards their lover and bites into the air. When its maw opens, its limbs flail strangely. They squint and watch an organ pulse underneath something that's either a wing or a tentacle. It looks soft, vulnerable.

It looks like an opportunity.

In that moment, everything clicks into place.

It doesn't matter that they can barely lift their own body or walk, this is something they cannot miss. They push themself off the ground, wincing and wobbling like the creature they fight. They push their feet forward, one after the other, counting the seconds it takes for the creature to show its weakness again. Five, four, three, two, one...

There.

They dash across the battlefield weightlessly and claim the monster's life, like a bullet that has found its target. Outis, who was bracing herself for the curtain call, freezes in place. The creature let out a shriek, its form starting to explode- no, it's like it's imploding. It folds in on itself, body twisting in an unnatural manner until it is nothing but a bundle of twisted flesh and bones.

Standing over the creature's remains is Outis' lover. A sinister smile graces their features and Outis can't help but to smile back. It seems they remembered what she had once told them. Of course, she knew her lessons would one day get through and help them but... She wasn't expecting to see them manifest such a destructive EGO of their own.

She feels overwhelmed with pride and wants to embrace them. She wants to tell them how incredible they look and how amazing of an accomplishment this is but she's already falling to the ground. She doesn't have more than a minute left to live, but it's enough.

"Well... done..." She whispers with her last breath.

____

Gregor:

They'd seen many of the sinners manifest their EGOs before in battle, and Gregor's always seemed to be the most unique out of them. Half of that fascination came from his prosthetic, and the other half from being in love with him. One day when they couldn't hold the curiosity anymore, they asked him about it.

He looked upset at first, and they almost took back their question but then he shrugged.

"It can hurt." He explained, "But if I will it to, it can also protect. If I want it to protect, I need to be stronger. I need to get over how much I hate it and make it useful."

He waved his insect arm a little, as if to illustrate his point.

"I don't know how it works, bud." He smiled awkwardly at them, "I just... I just want it to."

Such a simple explanation fit him. They knew how much grief having the arm gave him, yet he was trying to make something good out of a bad situation.

They hope they can say the same of themself, but...

Gregor is on the floor, a massive armored person has a foot on his neck while pulling his insect arm back at a painful angle. Gregor's struggle to free himself is meaningless. They fought hard, they fought well, but they've ultimately lost. The person who threatens to crush his throat with their ironclad foot instead seems more interested in pulling that arm off his shoulder. He's screamed so much his voice is hoarse. He's writhing on the floor, kicking and screaming to the top of his lungs but he can do nothing.

They're alone, and theyre weak. He tried to protect them, and in turn this is the outcome. They lay on the floor, unhindered by any armored soldier, but incapable of doing a thing. Their broken leg hurts like hell, but not as much as their heart does upon seeing him like that.

In this absolute hopeless moment, they go back to his words and his bittersweet smile.

I want to protect, so I will myself to.

They push their upper body off the ground, only to fall on their face again. They grit their teeth and clench their jaw. Gregor let out another bloodcurdling scream and they shut their eyes tight, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill.

I want to protect. This is not fair.

They can hear the sound of fabric ripping. Something inside them breaks and a switch is flipped. It doesn't matter how much it hurts, they stand on their feet and grab their weapon in their hands. The armored giant turns around, glances briefly at them and goes back to what they were doing. Oh, what a bad decision.

They lift their weapon, eyes locked on the pained image of Gregor on the ground, tortured even after defeat, and then lower it in a swift motion. A shockwave closes the gap between them and their enemy, the armored giant sways and lifts their foot off of Gregor's throat. They take another step closer and wince in pain, but swing their weapon again. The force of the shockwave this time is strong enough to make the giant let go of Gregor. The veteran is kicked to the side while the knight is forced to focus on them.

Gregor watches his lover approach the giant knight menacingly while he curls in on himself. He knows they are more hurt than himself, but somehow he feels more terrified for the canned giant. When his partner raises their weapon again, he knows it's over. He's not very educated on the science of it, but he's fought in enough battles to pick up on its flow. When this combat started, he knew the knight was way out of their league. He knew they would get severely wounded, and knew that winning was an impossible scenario here.

He couldn't tell them, because he barely had any time to, but his plan was to take most of the beating until the others could arrive and save them. Now it's clear that somehow his plan worked, but in an unexpected way. When he was hurt the most, when it felt like his tendons and muscles would get ripped apart by the knight's sadistic pulling on his arm, they reached a breaking point and manifested their own EGO.

Their weapon lowers and the tip connects with the metal on the giant's armor, and in that split second where the world stays still, Gregor blinks. The knight's armor is smashed in and blood and flesh gush out of its gaps. It's a gruesome scene, and the sound it makes is nauseating. His lover pants and gasps for air, then falls to the ground unconscious.

In spite of his pain he is not only proud, but also glad. He crawls all the way to their side, smearing some stray blood and guts over his clothes on the way. Everything hurts, but he manages to reach them. He embraces them with his still good arm, shedding tears of relief.

He's so sorry he's put them through all of this, but he's so unashamedly proud and in love with them.

"You did good, bud." He whispers into their hair, "You did so good...

#limbus company #lcb #limbus scenarios #faust lcb #yi sang lcb #ryoshu lcb #don quixote lcb #meursault lcb #hong lu lcb #heathcliff lcb #ishmael lcb #rodion lcb #sinclair lcb #outis lcb #gregor lcb #//I'm ngl I spent at least 6h writing this #//flops on the ground #//weak thumbs up #//whoever clicks the read more will be surprised by the wall of text!

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dontbotherwiththepronunciation · 2 years ago

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I really wish we could talk about Jeyne bullying Arya without people going completely feral, because as someone who was bullied (tragicomically involving the nickname "horseface" and even neighing when I walked by), and who can't even watch high school comedies like mean girls without wanting to die, I feel like it's so reductive to deny any possibility of conflict between the Arya-Jeyne-Sansa dynamic that is more than "mean girls vs pretty-but-doesn't-know-it-yet-girl situation" or "violent paranoid schizophrenic with a persecution complex feels victimised by girls who actually do their schoolwork" while still acknowledging Jeyne as a bully and Arya as a victim.

Jeyne is such a weird character to me, because I never feel this attached to the archetype she embodies.

And still, her dynamic with the two Stark sisters is interesting and the confusion in fandom is COMPLETELY fascinating and borderline triggering to witness, because it reminds me a lot to how a class of high schoolers reacts to *gasps, looks around to see no one is listening and whispers* bullying *lightning and thunder strike on the background to signify the gravity of such a word*.

Person A: What? What are you talking about?! She is exaggerating everything! Sansa never called her that! It was only Jeyne and I bet she only did it once! Person B: Oh, no it was just Jeyne who did it. Sansa told her to stop, but she just kept at it because she is less educated. Person C: No, Jeyne was actually just doing it to impress Sansa. Sansa is the real villain here. DontbotherwiththepronunciationIn2013: I don't think "bullying" is the right term. It's not that bad, Arya should get over it. It was just hurtful teasing.

Now I realise that "hurtful teasing" is in fact bullying.

So, if going by canon:

I think Jeyne came up with the name "Horseface".

I think Jeyne used to neigh at Arya when she was passing.

I think Sansa probably used that name at some point in her life or maybe multiple times.

I think that silence bestows. I think inaction can be encouraging more action. I think passiveness can be as harming as aggressiveness.

I do NOT however think that neither Jeyne nor Sansa are inherently despicable evil people for bullying Arya. I think they are still children. I think, like in most situations involving bullying and children, it's the adults who are at fault for not putting a stop to it, and sometimes even encouraging it.

Before starting to rant, I want to say:

I don't consider myself an expert on any of these characters!!!!!

So if I'm saying something disproportionately wrong in the following, I am open to being corrected.

With that said, I think this is a network of issues, most of them involving socioeconomic classes and period-compliant misogyny. I think it might look like this:

I know that focussing on this is a little pointless because the three main actors involved in this have been violently removed from the situation, (and most of the remaining cast is dead) but at the same time their possible future reunion will be even more violent and they probably won't even have time to cope.

And I can't sleep and I feel horrible and I already drew that dumb mind-map on my phone.

So, I'm starting with the least tangled component in this thing.

Ⅰ. The passive perpetrator, Blind Beth Cassel

To her sister and sister's friends and all the rest, she had just been Arya Horseface. - The Blind Girl, ADWD

I have loved the "Blind Beth" concept since I first read it.

It's so interesting to me how the most Beth interested part of fandom is the Theon corner, yet in the entire Arya-Sansa narrative she barely appears and rarely in meta. The closest I've come to find analysis on Beth & Sansa was in this gorgeous collage highlighting them as victims of violence from different sources in ACOK, but asides from that, there isn't much there. And at least with Sansa I can understand it. Sansa doesn't think of Beth once in the entire books. Arya on the other hand names one of her many identities after Beth and I think the characteristic chosen to describe that persona was a very smart and painful reminder from GRRM.

Arya thinks of Beth Cassel in two occasions. Once in AGOT, when we first meet them,

She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear. "What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered. "Tell me," Arya said. "Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful." "He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm." Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words. - Arya I, AGOT

AND once in Braavos, when she is thinking of her life a Winterfell,

"Beth." She had known a Beth once, back at Winterfell when she was Arya Stark. Maybe that was why she'd picked the name. Or maybe it was just because it went so well with blind. - The Blind Girl, ADWD

Our first assumption as readers to the name "Beth" going so well with "blind" is because it is an alliteration. Who doesn't love alliterations? Tell me you don't love Sir Gawain and the Green Knight with all it's stylistic devices! They are lovely. And perhaps "Blind Beth" is only one of GRRM's alliterations acknowledged by a character.

Or perhaps "Blind" and "Beth" also go so well with each other, because apparently, and basing this from Arya's POV (the only one involving Sansa, Jeyne & Beth all together), Beth is a passive perpetrator. The typical class mate who pretends not to see the bullying and the way it affects the victim. The one who is decent or even kind when alone, but alienating when they are accompanied by a group.

I have seen certain takes claiming that Arya's POV in AGOT isn't a reliable source when involving the dynamic between her and the other girls in Winterfell.

That is possible, but she is our only source. As said, Sansa doesn't ever think of Beth, so if I want to examine her it has to be through Arya's eyes.

I would like to take the scene in AGOT once again and look at it more closely this time.

The object composition is so carefully placed that I find it difficult to believe it is not supposed to have a meaning. Jeyne whispers into Sansa's ear, an image I often associate with a political advisor plotting or scheming with the ruler they serve (which she will remind me of again in future AGOT chapters). Beth has a lower position in the hierarchy She is sitting at Sansa's feet, completely enthralled to whatever it is Sansa says. She probably seeks her approval.

(There is this very sweet art depicting the image of Sansa, Beth and Jeyne and even if I kind of feel guilty for reading the scene as them alienating another girl and still enjoying the art, I still want to share it because it's very cute.)

"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered.

Jeyne's reaction is alienating. She giggles and denies Arya the knowledge behind that sudden laughter. It always reminded me a little of how Theon's smiles are often described contemptuously, probably because people tend to think he is actually laughing/smiling at them. They think he is mocking them. I don't think this is something completely involuntarily. I think Jeyne knows that giggling when Arya is asking to be integrated to the group is painful to her. Sansa is described to look "abashed" which I take as uncomfortable. I thinks she is aware this is mean spirited. She still doesn't do anything, but she is at least "abashed". Beth seems to follow this reaction but her description is only physical, not necessarily tied to an explicit emotion. Still, they collectively refuse to include Arya into the conversation.

"Tell me," Arya said. "Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful." "He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm."

Arya has to insist to be accepted as part of the group. It is not Sansa who acts as the typical "Queen Bee" and grants her that privilege, but Jeyne. Jeyne is the one who speaks in a slightly haughty manner. Only after getting Jeyne's implicit permission does Beth make a comment. She is not described with any type of rancour by Arya.

Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words.

This is an interesting passage to me, but not because of Beth as a passive perpetrator, but because this is the first time I can think of where we are confronted with another monster that will play a role in here, the green-eyed beast;

Ⅱ. Envy

Not it's more mild mannered cousin jealousy that gets spoken of more in fandom, but envy!

Jealousy is usually seen as a less malevolent feeling, but the term is often used when actually referring to envy, so I will clarify that jealousy could be defined as a feeling of defensiveness and protectiveness over what you think to be yours and feel threatened or fearful of possibly losing it.

Envy is not protective or defensive, its offensive. It is a feeling of resentment over what another person or group has - be it a a material possession, a skill, or an emotional bond - and you feel you lack.

And oh boy, there is a lot of envy oozing from that medieval class room, some it more legitimate than other, but all felt.

Before continuing I want to clarify that Arya’s very real pain and low self-esteem, and the cruel ways in which Sansa sometimes treats her during AGOT shouldn't be dismissed as "deserved" or "exaggerated" because of her envy.

Ⅱ. Ⅰ. ARYA'S ENVY

Probably the easiest to locate.

In the formerly mentioned passage we see Arya being envious of Sansa. I would argue it's not up to interpretation since "with dull resentment" makes it very clear to me, but there is also tenderness. I don't think Arya hates Sansa, or at least not in that moment.

Something curious about envy is that it's not an entertaining sin. It's damaging not only to those you envy, but perhaps mostly to yourself. It is self-poisoning. And I think that during that scene Arya, isn't manifesting her envy. She very rarely verbalises it, instead she swallows her own anger and keeps it inside her. I couldn't find any passages where envy is the driving force on the few occasions Arya hurts Sansa. The closest I came to that is:

Arya wanted to scream. It was just like Sansa to go and attract the septa's attention. "Here," she said, surrendering up her work. - Arya I, AGOT

But even then, her envy only hurts herself.

Arya longs to be like Sansa. She wants to be considered as pretty as Sansa, she wants to be as skilled as her sister and to feel accepted by the other girls in the group.

It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward. - Arya I, AGOT

I find it curious how Arya starts off listing skills, yet the thing that pains her the most is related to her appearance.

What starts as painful envy becomes a self deprecating chuckle and later maybe even a half-optimistic outlook on her own strength. Arya recognises that she is not worthless or fully inferior to her sister. She is able to find qualities in herself and they way she does is endearing. She internally even makes fun of Sansa for not being as good as she is in this one little thing.

Sadly she is still aware of how in the eyes of most, Sansa is the one deemed worthy of admiration and emulation, while the best Arya can get is pity.

The septa examined the fabric. "Arya, Arya, Arya," she said. "This will not do. This will not do at all." Everyone was looking at her. It was too much. Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. Even Princess Myrcella looked sorry for her. Arya felt tears filling her eyes. She pushed herself out of her chair and bolted for the door. - Arya I, AGOT

And Arya's envy doesn't come from simply being Arya, it comes from Arya not being seen as a valuable person by Westerosi society and, in my opinion, most importantly, by her mother.

I refer to the parent-child relationships on the whiteboard as "perceived", not because I deem them false or delusional, but because I've seen a lot of debate going around this topic and whether the favouritism is true or not and I don't know what to believe and honestly I don't care too much about it.

At this part of the conflict we don't really need to know if the Ned-Arya and Cat-Sansa favouritism is true or not. We just need to know that both girls feel some insecurity over their bond with their parents and feel envy.

Personally, I think both Stark parents love all their children deeply, it's just that love sometimes isn't perceived the way we want it to.

Both of her parents had conventional expectations for Arya, but it seems to me that Catelyn was the one who upheld these expectations while Ned acted more permissive. Eddard still intends for her to lead a life that is typical to that of a Lady,

"[...] And it is past time that Arya learned the ways of a southron court. In a few years she will be of an age to marry too." - Catelyn II, AGOT

But it's not Eddard who Arya is terrified of:

It was worse than Jon had thought. It wasn't Septa Mordane waiting in her room. It was Septa Mordane and her mother. - Arya I, AGOT

And it's not Eddard whom Arya often fears being rejected by or disappointing.

Her father tells Arya she remembers him of Lyanna, a woman who is not only remembered as beautiful but also as loved and desired, and also shared some of her interests, such as swordsmanship.

Her mother though..

"Sansa's work is as pretty as she is," Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. "She has such fine, delicate hands." When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed. "Arya has the hands of a blacksmith." - Arya I, AGOT

Sansa would shine in the south, Catelyn thought to herself, and the gods knew that Arya needed refinement. - Catelyn II, AGOT

“…my hair’s messy and my nails are dirty and my feet are all hard.” Robb wouldn’t care about that, probably, but her mother would. Lady Catelyn always wanted her to be like Sansa, to sing and dance and sew and mind her courtesies. Just thinking of it made Arya try to comb her hair with her fingers, but it was all tangles and mats, and all she did was tear some out.“ - Arya VII, ASOS

Her mother used to say she could be pretty if she would just wash and brush her hair and take more care with her dress, the way her sister did. - The Blind girl, ADWD

And a recurring pattern in those lines is a comparison to Sansa, the sister who is not constantly failing at fulfilling society's expectations on her. The sister who she wishes she could emulate while also staying true to the person she is. The sister who seems to act as a passive perpetrator of Jeyne's bullying and sometimes acts cruel herself.

Ⅱ. Ⅱ. SANSA'S ENVY AND EMBARASSEMENT

When I first read AGOT, I didn't like any of the Stark sisters. I actually think the only Stark I liked back then was Bran. I was about as old as they were, had my own issues with internalised misogyny and thought both of them were a little annoying. My views on both of them during AGOT have changed A LOT in the past ten years and while I like who they become as the books move n, much more than I like who they were at the beginning, I've become very fond of their AGOT selves. And I think they are children! Children make mistakes! Children are shallow and impulsive and hedonistic.

So, I don't think Arya is the only person here who has a few negatives feelings about her sister.

More than envy I think Sansa feels second-hand embarrassment by Arya's behaviour and wishes she wouldn't be associated with her, and this is something Arya is aware of.

She was barefoot and dirty, her hair tangled from the long run through the castle, clad in a jerkin ripped by cat claws and brown roughspun pants hacked off above her scabby knees. You don't wear skirts and silks when you're catching cats. Quickly she lowered her head and dropped to one knee. Maybe they wouldn't recognize her. If they did, she would never hear the end of it. Septa Mordane would be mortified, and Sansa would never speak to her again from the shame. - Arya III, AGOT

Arya looked down at her ragged clothes and bare feet, all cracked and callused. She saw the dirt under her nails, the scabs on her elbows, the scratches on her hands. Septa Mordane wouldn't even know me, I bet. Sansa might, but she'd pretend not to. - Arya V, ACOK

And we also see Sansa wanting to deny association between her and her sister multiple times during AGOT:

Why couldn't Arya be sweet and delicate and kind, like Princess Myrcella? She would have liked a sister like that. - Sansa I, AGOT

"Send Arya away, she started it, Father, I swear it. I'll be good, you'll see, just let me stay and I promise to be as fine and noble and courteous as the queen." - Sansa III, AGOT

"[...]I have only to remember how your sister set her wolf on my son." "I'm not like Arya," Sansa blurted. "She has the traitor's blood, not me. I'm good, ask Septa Mordane, she'll tell you, I only want to be Joffrey's loyal and loving wife." - Sansa IV, AGOT

Envy is something less present in Sansa's case, but I dare to think there is still a little of it lingering in her feelings. As if we had a cross involving affections and what is perceived by each Stark sister as a special relationship or favouritism between their fraternal foe and a respective parent.

One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father. - Sansa II, AGOT

There is envy perhaps not of the relationship itself, but of the liberation that comes with it, but I don't even think this is actually Eddard's fault, I think this has more to do with the overall social conditioning of girlhood in Westeros and with another adult.

Ⅱ. Ⅲ. SEPTA MORDANE AND THE SOCIAL CONDITIONING

Septa Mordane sees Sansa as an exemplary student and she has reasons to do so. Sansa is a good and well mannered girls who fits into the model Septa Mordane is trying to shape the girls into. She performs her assigned gender roles with grace and is willingly doing so. Sansa enjoys being a Lady, it makes her feel worthy and it allows her to daydream and enjoy romantic hobbies like poetry or singing.

Arya doesn't. Partially because she rejects that model, partially because she id rejected by that model. I don't know what came first.

And yet, Sansa also sometimes seems to feel encaged by that model and by the Septa's teachings. And often, when Sansa does something that contradicts this model of conduct that she usually likes following, her thoughts go to Arya. She compares herself or gets compared to Arya, not necessarily in a pejorative manner, but almost seeing her sister as a little devil on her shoulder.

The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, and Sansa went to bed that night feeling almost as wicked as Arya. - Sansa III, AGOT

Sansa sighed. "They rode with Lord Beric, to behead Ser Gregor Clegane." She turned to Septa Mordane, who was eating porridge with a wooden spoon. "Septa, will Lord Beric spike Ser Gregor's head on his own gate or bring it back here for the king?" She and Jeyne Poole had been arguing over that last night. The septa was horror-struck. "A lady does not discuss such things over her porridge. Where are your courtesies, Sansa? I swear, of late you've been near as bad as your sister." - Sansa III, AGOT

"It was for love," Sansa said in a rush. "Father wouldn't even give me leave to say farewell." She was the good girl, the obedient girl, but she had felt as wicked as Arya that morning, sneaking away from Septa Mordane, defying her lord father. - Sansa IV, AGOT

And who is usually disapproving of Arya's ways and telling her she puts them to shame?

Septa Mordane called after her. "Arya, come back here! Don't you take another step! Your lady mother will hear of this. In front of our royal princess too! You'll shame us all!" - Arya I, AGOT

And knowing how much Sansa cares about the way she is perceived by others, I can imagine Sansa thinking in frustration that it's unfair she gets reprimanded for these type of things when Arya does them all the time without realising that Arya suffers constantly because if it. It's just that they are less common in Sansa, so people are more surprised and "hopeful" of rectifying them. Septa Mordane almost looks at Arya as a lost cause. When she nags at Sansa it's because she wants to avoid Sansa becoming another lost cause.

And it's not that Septa Mordane is an evil witch trying to make Arya's life impossible. As much as I dislike Eddard Stark, I agree with him. This woman is just doing the job he and Cat tasked her to do. It's that she is part of an institution where girls like Arya aren't as valued as girls like Sansa.

Personally, I think she is one of the people carrying the most responsibility over Arya's bullying. I wouldn't say she participates in it, but she enables it.

During AGOT Arya describes Septa Mordane in an unflattering way and it is one of the few occasions where I don't think I should fully trust her POV, because yes, this woman is antagonistic to Arya, but I don't think she hates her.

"Septa Mordane is beside herself with fear. She's in the sept praying for your safe return." - Arya III, AGOT

I think, in her own flawed way, she is trying to "help" Arya adapt into conventional views of gender and Arya is having none of that (good for her!).

"Just where do you think you are going, Arya?" the septa demanded. Arya glared at her. "I have to go shoe a horse," she said sweetly, taking a brief satisfaction in the shock on the septa's face. Then she whirled and made her exit, running down the steps as fast as her feet would take her. - Arya I, AGOT

"Pray, where do you think you are going, young lady?" Septa Mordane asked. "I'm not hungry." Arya found it an effort to remember her courtesies. "May I be excused, please?" she recited stiffly. "You may not," the septa said. "You have scarcely touched your food. You will sit down and clean your plate." "You clean it!" Before anyone could stop her, Arya bolted for the door as the men laughed and Septa Mordane called loudly after her, her voice rising higher and higher. - Arya II, AGOT

Arya spun around, with Needle in her hand. "You better not come in here!" she warned. She slashed at the air savagely. "The Hand will hear of this!" Septa Mordane raged. "I don't care," Arya screamed. "Go away." - Arya II, AGOT

Poor woman is so frustrated with her job she one day passes out drunk on the table.

And I think Sansa suffers under her too, not because she dislikes the customs and views on femininity - she often recalls on Septa Mordane's teachings in moments of emotional need (Lady's armour is courtesy, find the beauty in every man) - but I think that as readers we can see how those are harming for her too.

"I've never seen an aurochs," Sansa said, feeding a piece of bacon to Lady under the table. The direwolf took it from her hand, as delicate as a queen. Septa Mordane sniffed in disapproval. "A noble lady does not feed dogs at her table," she said, breaking off another piece of comb and letting the honey drip down onto her bread. - Sansa II, AGOT

Sansa cried as Septa Mordane marched them down the steps. They were going to take it all away; the tournaments and the court and her prince, everything, they were going to send her back to the bleak grey walls of Winterfell and lock her up forever. Her life was over before it had begun. "Stop that weeping, child," Septa Mordane said sternly. "I am certain your lord father knows what is best for you." - Sansa III, AGOT

That one last passage drives me wild when it comes to Jeyne Poole and you'll see why later.

So basically, Septa Mordane antagonises Arya for her failings as her student. The class (Beth, Sansa & Jeyne) emulates the teacher's disapproval and distaste, Sansa feels embarrassed by association and Jeyne Poole takes advantage of the situation and targets Arya.

And now I can finally get to the true object of my obsession here, beloved middle school mean girl:

Ⅲ. Jeyne Poole and her many mixed emotions

As said, I feel so weird about my love for this girl. People call Theon a "poor little meow meow" but when I first read these books I didn't see him as an anti-hero/minor-villain during ACOK, but more of my avenging hero. I had tears of rage when he was threatening to hang Beth but I was also weirdly cheering for him. Jeyne on the other hand, she is my poor little meow meow! She is my problematic fave! And she makes me cry like crazy and I hope she has the happiest ending in these goddamn books.

I probably feel more attached to her than I feel to Arya and Sansa. I don't understand this. Anyway, I have two possible assumptions for why Jeyne is always antagonising Arya. And yes, she IS ANTAGONISING Arya, even when Arya is no longer there.

"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered. - Arya I, AGOT

Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. - Arya I, AGOT

Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. - Arya I, AGOT

Jeyne Poole had told Arya that he'd cut him up in so many pieces that they'd given him back to the butcher in a bag, and at first the poor man had thought it was a pig they'd slaughtered. - Arya II, AGOT

It was all her fault, everything bad that had happened. Sansa said so, and Jeyne too. - Arya II, AGOT

"I saw your sister this afternoon," Jeyne blurted out, as if she'd been reading Sansa's thoughts. "She was walking through the stables on her hands. Why would she do a thing like that?" - Sansa III, AGOT

"I will be a better wife than the real Arya could have been, he'll see." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

"Arya Underfoot. Your sister used to call you Arya Horseface." "It was me made up that name. Her face was long and horsey. Mine isn't. I was pretty." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

You know, this entire thing started because I wanted to make a stupid joke but then I got more emotional and invested into this as I wrote, and now we are here and I don't even remember the actual joke I wanted to make so I have to improvise with the thing above.

I don't believe this is true either. There are absolutely no canon indications for Jeyne to have had been dealing with comphet and bullying Arya because of a crush (there is a rather fun fanfic though!) (and there is another but with angstier and subtler vibes and it's Theyne + Jeynsa). Although, in my opinion, there are a few other things; like class envy and projection!

Ⅲ. Ⅰ. JEYNE POOLE'S CLASS ENVY

I think hers is the most obvious case of envy, but unlike the envy between the Stark sisters it doesn't come from a place of emotional insecurity, but of socio-economical discomfort.

That is why I included "Beric Dondarrion" [insert highborn lord/knight] in that mind map.

Jeyne isn't envious of Arya's relationship with Ned Stark and much less of her skills. Jeyne is envious, and perhaps even particularly resentful, of the fact that Arya is offered AND rejects what Jeyne wishes but will always stay out of her reach.

I have joked about Jeyne's crush on Beric (and her possible implied crushes on Robb & Theon) in the past but I don't think I ever mentioned the class envy when doing so.

When [Jeyne] saw young Lord Beric Dondarrion, with his hair like red gold and his black shield slashed by lightning, she pronounced herself willing to marry him on the instant. - Sansa II, AGOT

She had seen Jeyne Poole giving [Robb] moist-eyed glances, and some of the serving girls, even ones as old as eighteen… - Catelyn XI, AGOT

"Help me." [Jeyne] clutched at [Theon]. "Please. I used to watch you in the yard, playing with your swords. You were so handsome." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

All the men she seems to at some point in her life experience some form of attraction for, even if it is that of a child, it's a puppy crush, just infatuation, are people she would never have a chance with. Two (theoretically) future lord paramounts and a marcher lord. All of them unachievable to a steward's daughter. And with that in consideration, let's look at this:

Arya cocked her head to one side. "Can I be a king's councillor and build castles and become the High Septon?" "You," Ned said, kissing her lightly on the brow, "will marry a king and rule his castle, and your sons will be knights and princes and lords and, yes, perhaps even a High Septon." Arya screwed up her face. "No," she said, "that's Sansa." She folded up her right leg and resumed her balancing. Ned sighed and left her there. - Eddard V, AGOT

And I wonder how frustrating that must feel to Jeyne. To see someone who she deems as inferior in skills and manners because of the conditioning they've gone through under Septa Mordane's tutelage, someone who she considers beneath her, be offered and forced things she desperately wants and will never get.

Hell, Jeyne even manifests some juridical administrative knowledge and argues with Sansa about it, something she won't get to do as an adult woman, while Sansa and Arya will rule (their husband's) castles.

"Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras." [...] "Ser Ilyn's the King's Justice, not Ser Loras," Jeyne said. "Lord Eddard should have sent him." - Sansa III, AGOT

Not that any of them would be good at ruling anything, they are all middle schoolers at this point, but I think she could have felt vexed at constantly seeing Arya reject all that she wishes she could have for herself.

Please don't misunderstand me, that is still not a valid reason to bully Arya.

There are no valid reasons to bully a child.

But there are reasons behind Jeyne's mentality and actions, and I think some of those reasons come from a sense of resentment over how "easy" things are for Arya because of her status as Lord Stark's daughter.

As Arya Stark, Jeyne's dreams come true, she marries the future paramount Lord of Winterfell and twisted wish fulfilment is one hell of a drug and not one strong enough to numb the pain! And to add insult to injury, the real Arya gets to spend a significant amount of time accompanying Beric Dondarrion and his band of merry men. I fucking hate this!

And while I think that this is the main aspect of Jeyne bullying Arya, there is something more which I haven't seen written elsewhere and I am willing to admit it could be a sketchy interpretation, but I would like to talk about it anyway because it's MY inane post and I get to choose the straws I grasp at!

Ⅲ. Ⅱ. JEYNE POOLE'S LOOKS

We don't have a lot of physical descriptions for Jeyne. Her eyes are the most remarkable feature about her, being described as big, brown and expressive by Theon and Jaime. Sansa and Holly consider her pretty. Theon calls her beautiful, but only when prompted by Ramsay and it's not very believable. In his thoughts he previously claims she is no longer pretty because of the slashes on her back. I don't know how seriously he means this, but I find it remarkable. Asides from that she is described as a skinny, pale, brown haired girl. She describes herself as formerly pretty but not beautiful and when doing so compares herself to Sansa and sees herself as the lesser of the two. And yet, the entire ruse she is later involved in with this pseudo-karmic punishment, is based on her looking similar enough to Arya or the Stark look to pass as one. I always thought it was so extremely funny how defensive she gets when she claims her face isn't horsey, at the mere mention of the "horseface" nickname, even without Theon telling her she looks horsey.

I don't know. It is probably that I'm looking into this with more depth than I should simply because of...obvious reasonsfsgfgsfsghgdnfjdhdf, but who sometimes makes remarks about the Stark look being one of bastards and plain-looking-people?

[Arya] even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. And Jon's mother had been common, or so people whispered.- Sansa I, AGOT

My lord father found some skinny northern girl more or less the same age with more or less the same coloring. - Jaime IX, ASOS

"You [Arya] ought to marry Hodor, you're just like him, stupid and hairy and ugly!" - Sansa III, AGOT

Imagining little Sansa Stark going to vent to little Jeyne Poole after having an argument with her sister and making a perhaps not even genuinely meant comment about little Arya Stark's looks and Jeyne just sitting there mentally competing against Stannis Baratheon in who can grind their teeth the hardest.

While there are no instances of Sansa calling Arya "Horseface" she sometimes remarks to herself and to her sister that she thinks Arya is ugly and looks like a commoner.

And who has class insecurities and also seems to look similar to Arya?

"Jeyne, Jeyne, it rhymes with plain..." I can already imagine her whispering that to herself if she ever hears Theon's rhymes.

"I was never beautiful like Sansa, but they all said I was pretty. Does Lord Ramsay think I am pretty?" - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

The only thing Jeyne seems to really have going for her compared to Arya, the thing that could miraculously elevate her, are her looks and even those pale compared to Sansa. As said, she is described as pretty by some, but not beautiful.

In my opinion, the text doesn't really describe Arya as ugly. It is somewhat left up to interpretation since, while Sansa, Cat, Theon and Arya herself give us the impression she might be, there are also textual comparisons to Lyanna and even people who didn't know her think of Arya as beautiful (Lady Smallwood), but since these girls grew up the way they grew up...

I can imagine Jeyne feeling like her "prettiness" is the one thing she thinks can be used to make her more valuable in Westerosi society, and in order to keep that idea of herself being prettier than Arya, she has to make sure Arya doesn't feel good about her looks, so she calls her horseface.

And, if going by this entire text that I've been writing because I am stupid, that is also completely self-destructive and tragicomical !!!

Basically I think it is possible that Jeyne is projecting her own insecurities regarding her looks and her overall sense of inferiority compared to Sansa unto Arya.

And Jeyne has reasons to feel inferior to Sansa beyond simply the class hierarchy and the possible feeling of unattractiveness, because - and now I will get blocked by another load of people if this is read- Sansa is not very good at being a friend to her!

Ⅳ. The Sansa-Jeyne Dynamic

This is one of those things that completely baffles me, same as the Theon-Robb dynamic, where I have no idea how it is possible that my perception in the past ten years has been so drastically different from the majority of the fandom. And I swear to god, I've tried to change my perspective, I read metas, I tried fanfics, and I still don't get it.

This years Sansa month dedicated an entire day to Jeyne Poole.

Someone who is not very well acquainted with the books would probably assume Jeyne Poole is a very important girl in Sansa's narrative based on that information. They'd probably be surprised to find out that, since the two girls were separated, Jeyne Poole is remembered a total number of four times by Sansa Stark.

Sansa thinks of Jeyne Poole a total of four (4) times since AGOT.

In the span of four books in which both Stark sisters go through terribly drastic changes in their lives, Arya thinks of the girl who bullied her three times.

Sansa who loves and misses Jeyne thinks of her four times.

And you are telling me that she is so important to Sansa that she deserves an entire day dedicated to her? And everything that is created in that day is about how Sansa loves her so much and cares for her tremendously and will protect her?

PERSON D: It's because Sansa is traumatised. It pains her too much to think of her. Not thinking of her is a coping mechanism.

"She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. The septa had lost her head with the rest, for the crime of serving House Stark. Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. She tried not to think of them too often, yet sometimes the memories came unbidden, and then it was hard to hold back the tears." - Sansa II, ACOK

Person D: See?

Probably! I don't oppose that interpretation, it's very possible. People often suppress painful memories. But I can still disapprove of that coping mechanism. Would you like it if you suddenly disappeared form the face of earth in extremely mysterious circumstances and your friend wouldn't even ask about what happened to you? I don't think I would feel loved and treasured if I were to know that.

I don't like the way their dynamic is perceived by a majority of the fandom based on those four thoughts and the few other times we seen them interact in AGOT.

Person E: Oh OP is just posting anti-Jeynsa stuff because they ship Jeyne, A CHILD, with Theon, AN ADULT MAN AND RAPIST!

I wouldn't consider this anti-Jeynsa since

This is what makes their dynamic intriguing for me. This is the type of Jeynsa I'm into!!!

I don't think their relationship in inherently wrong or that it would be morally condemnable.

Also I don't even really ship Theon & Jeyne as an endgame romantic/sexual ship, not that it wowuld be morally wrong for anyone to do so. I "ship" it as a very turbulent dynamic between two people who have been forced to bond by the horrible circumstances they have been in and who have had the boundaries that define certain relationship dynamics blurred in some very traumatic ways. I "ship it" in the sense that I would like to see both of them find some tranquility and peace in their lives and try to explore which of those blurred boundaries they wish to reestablish, keep blurred or fully erase. Hell, I wrote a 100k fanfic focusing on their relationship and didn't even let them be endgame. I didn't even let them be actually in love.

It's just that "cute, loving, soft, homoromantic childhood best friends" isn't the dynamic I'm usually interested in.

And I don't think the Jeynsa dynamic is that.

I think there are class issues and inferiorities to be explored. I think Sansa is true in her affections for Jeyne, she loves her and sees her as a friend, but she is also diminishing and tends to look down on her, and regardless if it is a coping mechanism or not, she shows no interest in finding out what happened to who she considers her "truest friend".

And I don't believe Sansa is a bad person for this, I believe she is a young girl. Relationships between women are complicated enough already. Relationships between pre-teen and teen girls have entire studies dedicated to them.

Person F: How much would Sansa even consider her as a bff? In their bullying of Arya, Jeyne comes across as the acolyte to Queen Bea Sansa. And that's just modern projection. Jeyne is from a minor house. She's just a steward's daughter. She's just slightly above a servant in feudalist hierarchy. She's assigned to be her "friend" coz she's conveniently the same age, and that's just what you did then. Like "milk-siblings", servants who shared a wetnurse with a lord. (1/2)(2/2) Lower houses are fancy domesticity to the greater houses. The great nobility is fancy domesticity to royalty. That's just how feudalism worked. Everyone was thought of as a servant, the entirety of society was built on a network of servitude and dependance. Even the king is a servant: to God. Or "Gods" in the case of ASOIAF. Hence all the conclicts between church and royalty.

I saw this comment a while ago on a Tumblr post (I'm not putting a source link because I don't believe that would be fair to them and also it's older than a year) and I don't like it.

I think it is unfairly villainising Sansa and also removing Jeyne's agency in that situation by putting her as an "acolyte" (assistant, follower), when the composition of our first scene involving them, in my opinion, shows her as an adviser. I also don't like how it is pretending that Jeyne is being forced to be Sansa's friend and if going by that logic, then why isn't Beth being forced to be Arya's friend?

I disagree with it. I think it simplifies a more complex situation.

But I wish we were allowed to explore the less wholesome aspects in the Jeyne-Sansa dynamic without being instantaneously labeled as a Sansa-anti and it is what I'll attempt.

Something I always found very endearing and relatable about Sansa was how much she craved for friends - especially female friends - since she is left alone in King's Landing.

It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. - Sansa II, ASOS

How am I supposed not to feel my heart ache in bittersweetness? My favourite Sansa "friendship" is actually the one she builds with Garlan Tyrell, but this is a moment of bliss.

It's interesting how Sansa often finds amusement in female friends who act very differently from how she does, but as her character evolves in the books her feelings for those types of companions also seem to change.

We have Jeyne, Margaery and Myranda, as her "friends", characters with whom she experiences very different dynamics and I think it is at least partially involved with their classes too.

Jeyne is the one she treats the most poorly, in my opinion. Ignoring how little she thinks of her after Jeyne is taken away by Littlefinger, let's see some of their previous interactions and let's also keep in mind that Sansa is (at most) a 12-year-old girl not having a very good time and she deserves compassion:

[...] Jeyne and Sansa cried out in unison as riders crashed together, lances exploding into splinters while the commons screamed for their favorites. Jeyne covered her eyes whenever a man fell, like a frightened little girl, but Sansa was made of sterner stuff. A great lady knew how to behave at tournaments. Even Septa Mordane noted her composure and nodded in approval. - Sansa II, AGOT

Sansa feels superior to Jeyne for staying calm at the face of violence. This will become a pattern.

Jeyne Poole wept so hysterically that Septa Mordane finally took her off to regain her composure, but Sansa sat with her hands folded in her lap, watching with a strange fascination. [...] By then Septa Mordane had returned, alone. Jeyne had been feeling ill, she explained; she had helped her back to the castle. Sansa had almost forgotten about Jeyne. - Sansa II, AGOT

Jeyne is hysterical after seeing a man die at the tourney, Sansa isn't very concerned for her friend's mental state.

"His leg?" Jeyne said uncertainly. She was a pretty, dark-haired girl of Sansa's own age. "Did Ser Loras hurt his leg?" "Not his leg," Sansa said, nibbling delicately at a chicken leg. "Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras." - Sansa III, AGOT

"Silly". It could be solely meant with endearment, but throughout that scene Sansa is in a bad mood and I wonder how Jeyne might have perceived it given she continues arguing with her about juridical administration and contradicts Sansa.

Of course, Jeyne had been in love with Lord Beric ever since she had first glimpsed him in the lists. Sansa thought she was being silly; Jeyne was only a steward's daughter, after all, and no matter how much she mooned after him, Lord Beric would never look at someone so far beneath him, even if she hadn't been half his age. - Sansa III, AGOT

Again, "silly", and this time with a slightly classist connotation. And the saddest thing is that Sansa is right, but she often daydreams of unrealistic or impossible romantic scenarios herself and had a crush on Waymar Royce, a man who was older than her, of lower nobility and about to make a vow of celibacy. Why is Jeyne the silly one for daydreaming?

"They're killing everyone," the steward's daughter had shrieked at her. She went on and on. The Hound had broken down her door with a warhammer, she said. There were bodies on the stair of the Tower of the Hand, and the steps were slick with blood. Sansa dried her own tears as she struggled to comfort her friend. They went to sleep in the same bed, cradled in each other's arms like sisters. The second day was even worse. [...] The only sounds were Jeyne Poole's endless whimpers and sobs. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Jeyne Poole had been confined with her, but Jeyne was useless. Her face was puffy from all her crying, and she could not seem to stop sobbing about her father. "I'm certain your father is well," Sansa told her when she had finally gotten the dress buttoned right. "I'll ask the queen to let you see him." She thought that kindness might lift Jeyne's spirits, but the other girl just looked at her with red, swollen eyes and began to cry all the harder. She was such a child. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Remember what I said about Septa Mordane's "Stop weeping, child."? Sansa is vexed by her crying although Sansa cries herself, thinks of her as useless, she thinks demeaningly of Jeyne because she is crying after realising her father has been killed..

"Jeyne's scared," Sansa said. "She won't stop crying. I promised her I'd ask if she could see her father." - Sansa IV, AGOT

This feels like a twisted version of the first passage in this list. Sansa is scared herself, we know this because she was trembling as she dressed, but she speaks only of Jeyne's fear.

Jeyne Poole and all her things were gone when Ser Mandon Moore returned Sansa to the high tower of Maegor's Holdfast. No more weeping, she thought gratefully. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Sansa, love, I know you are very stressed out but come on open your eyes!

Somehow this reminds me a bit of a less extreme version of Theon's inconsistencies in thoughts and actions involving Jeyne in ADWD. He is very crude when thinking of her, but if you go through his actual treatment of her, he is surprisingly tender. The only exception I can think of for them is in TWOW.

With Sansa, I think it is similar, but whereas Theon is painfully aware of how perilous their lives as Ramsay's playthings are, Sansa constantly refuses to see the gravity of their situation and thus is dismissive of Jeyne in a moment where it becomes terribly cruel. I don't think she doesn't love Jeyne, of course, she does,

"Where are you sending her? She hasn't done anything wrong, she's a good girl." - Sansa IV, AGOT

No more weeping, she thought gratefully. Yet somehow it seemed colder with Jeyne gone, even after she'd built a fire. - Sansa IV, AGOT

She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. [...] Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. - Sansa II, ACOK

She sang for her mother and her father, for her grandfather Lord Hoster and her uncle Edmure Tully, for her friend Jeyne Poole, - Sansa V, ACOK

She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. - Alayne II, AFFC

Remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. - Alayne I, TWOW

I think Sansa just sometimes takes her for granted.

I think it's sad because it's realistic and it hurts even more when you compare her treatment of Jeyne to her treatment of Margaery and Myranda after going through a period of hostile isolation and a heartbreaking customary middle school betrayal, two things that I believe influence her feelings for both girls.

With Margaery and her posse, she is idealistic. She considers Margaery to be kind, brave and wise, and finds bliss (and a little bit of envy and gayness, ooooh) in the company of her ladies.

Margaery's kindness had been unfailing, and her presence changed everything. Her ladies welcomed Sansa as well. It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. Lady Leonette gave her lessons on the high harp, and Lady Janna shared all the choice gossip. Merry Crane always had an amusing story, and little Lady Bulwer reminded her of Arya, though not so fierce. Closest to Sansa's own age were the cousins Elinor, Alla, and Megga, Tyrells from junior branches of the House. "Roses from lower on the bush," quipped Elinor, who was witty and willowy. Megga was round and loud, Alla shy and pretty, but Elinor ruled the three by right of womanhood; she was a maiden flowered, whereas Megga and Alla were mere girls. The cousins took Sansa into their company as if they had known her all their lives. They spent long afternoons doing needlework and talking over lemon cakes and honeyed wine, played at tiles of an evening, sang together in the castle sept ... and often one or two of them would be chosen to share Margaery's bed, where they would whisper half the night away. Alla had a lovely voice, and when coaxed would play the woodharp and sing songs of chivalry and lost loves. Megga couldn't sing, but she was mad to be kissed. She and Alla played a kissing game sometimes, she confessed, but it wasn't the same as kissing a man, much less a king. - Sansa II, ASOS

There is a direct comparison to Arya, mentions of many of Sansa's hobbies, some sapphicness, and if I squint my eyes the needlework and lemon cakes remind me of Jeyne & Beth. And then...Sansa is made to marry Tyrion and that match frustrates the Tyrell's ambitions.

And here Sansa found the Tyrells. Margaery gave her such a sad look, and when the Queen of Thorns tottered in between Left and Right, she never looked at her at all. Elinor, Alla, and Megga seemed determined not to know her. My friends, Sansa thought bitterly. - Sansa III, ASOS

After that emotional betrayal, Sansa spends more time of isolation and this time it's even more depressing in my opinion. The few people who show her kindness are also somewhat compliant in her misery and then she gets abducted by Petyr Baelish and has to take the role of his bastard daughter, Alayne Stone. Under this guise she meets Myranda Royce and Mya Stone.

While I would say she befriends both girls, her connection with Randa resembles that which she had with Jeyne and Margaery more than her connection with Mya. Both of them share some common interests and Myranda, isn't disdainful at all of her supposed bastardy.

Person G: That's because she is cunning and suspects Alayne is actually highborn.

I'm not so convinced by that argument! She is described of being as closes as sisters with Mya Stone, another bastard.

Sansa's distrust for Myranda is, in my opinion, only partially fuelled by Littlefinger's words.

"Soon or late you must meet Myranda Royce," Petyr had warned her. "When you do, be careful. She likes to play the merry fool, but underneath she's shrewder than her father. Guard your tongue around her." - Alayne II, AFFC

I think her distrust comes mostly from her last close homosocial relationship having been a farce, from feeling manipulated, used and deceived. And that mistrust remains but is worn down by Randa's warm personality.

I think there is is something very sweet about comparing the following passages:

Sansa knelt at the feet of her future queen. "You do me great honor, Your Grace." "Won't you call me Margaery? Please, rise. Loras, help the Lady Sansa to her feet. Might I call you Sansa?" - Sansa I, ASOS

"Kind?" The older girl gave a laugh. "How boring that would be. I aspire to be wicked. You must tell me all your secrets on the ride down. May I call you Alayne?" "If you wish, my lady." But you'll get no secrets from me. "I am 'my lady' at the Gates, but up here on the mountain you may call me Randa. How many years have you, Alayne?" [...] "As you say, my lady." "Randa. Come now, you can say it. Ran. Da." "Randa." - Alayne II, AFFC

It's curious how in both cases there is this chance of friendship being offered to Sansa by a girl who has a higher rank than her but one is done much more courteously than the other. Sansa never calls Myranda "Randa" again, but as she warms up to her she begins referring to her as such in the narration. I think that is very heartwarming.

Maybe it is stupid to complain about the idealisation of a flawed friendship in these books, but I think the reason it annoys me so much is because it removes this type of development in Sansa's socialising. Her interactions with Myranda are delightful to read and I think it's the healthiest friendship she has formed yet.

And Myranda also embodies aspects of Margaery and Jeyne, so it's an even funnier conclusion. She is a little bit less ladylike than Sansa, but is still comfortable with her gender and the assigned roles, she is a little foul mouthed, she likes to gossip and to take friends to her bed (in an apparent not-sexual way).

"Lothor Brune?" Myranda raised an eyebrow. "Does she know?" She did not wait for an answer. "He has no hope, poor man. My father's tried to make a match for Mya, but she'll have none of them. She is half mule, that one." Despite herself, Alayne found herself warming to the older girl. She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. "Do you think Ser Lothor likes her as she is, in mail and leather?" she asked the older girl, who seemed so worldly-wise. "Or does he dream of her draped in silks and velvets?" "He's a man. He dreams of her naked." She is trying to make me blush again. Lady Myranda must have heard her thoughts. "You do turn such a pretty shade of pink. When I blush I look quite like an apple. I have not blushed for years, though." She leaned closer. "Does your father plan to wed again?" - Alayne II, AFFC

Even Lady Myranda began to yawn and complain of being weary. "We have apartments prepared for all of you," she told Alayne, "but if you like you may share my bed tonight. It's large enough for four." "I should be honored, my lady." "Randa. Count yourself fortunate that I'm so tired. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep. Usually when ladies share my bed they have to pay a pillow tax and tell me all about the wicked things they've done." "What if they haven't done any wicked things?" "Why, then they must confess all the wicked things they want to do. Not you, of course. I can see how virtuous you are just by looking at those rosy cheeks and big blue eyes of yours." She yawned again. "I hope your feet are warm. I do hate bedmaids with cold feet." - Alayne II, AFFC

"I do hope you will forgive me for depriving you of Lady Myranda's company," Alayne told the knights. She did not wait for a reply, but took the older girl arm-in-arm and drew her away from the bench. Only when they were out of earshot did she whisper, "Do you really know where my father is?" "Of course not. Walk faster, my new suitors may be following." Myranda made a face. "Ossifer Lipps is the dullest knight in the Vale, but Uther Shett aspires to his laurels. I am praying they fight a duel for my hand, and kill each other." Alayne giggled. "Surely Lord Nestor would not seriously entertain a suit from such men." - Alayne I, TWOW

"Too late," Myranda said. "They're here. We shall need to do the honors by ourselves." She grinned. "Last one to the gate must marry Uther Shett." They made a race of it, dashing headlong across the yard and past the stables, skirts flapping, whilst knights and serving men alike looked on, and pigs and chickens scattered before them. It was most unladylike, but Alayne sound found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. By the time they arrived at the gatehouse, both of them were red-faced and panting. Myranda had lost her cloak somewhere along the way. They were just in time. - Alayne I, TWOW

I don't even ship them (Mya x Myranda and Sansa x Brienne ftw), and this doesn't have anything to do with the theme of whatever this text turned into, but I love their dynamic so much I would ship it if it became canon. It's adorable and funny and out of her dynamics with other girls, this one is my favourite.

We know that the Sansa-Margaery friendship turned out disappointingly, and some have the suspicion that Myranda could act as a new tormentor for Sansa, and I have no way to disprove that, but seeing her development in regards to female friendships makes me at least doubt it.

She took Jeyne for granted and was disdainful, spent a time of hostile isolation, met Margaery and her ladies, went through the horrors of idealisation and crashed against the truth, spent even more time alone and kept the wounds from her sorrow, and is now apparently finding a healthy friendship with Myranda Royce and I love that for her.

It makes me wonder how her feelings for Jeyne could evolve if they get to meet again, and whether she will be more conscious of how their friendship was flawed. Of how she should have probably tried to be more attentive to the dynamic between Jeyne & Arya, of how she perhaps shouldn't have been passive about Jeyne's bullying nor participated in it.

As I write I am checking everything in my journals and I couldn't find a single occasion in which we see Sansa calling Arya "Horseface", but I did however find her thinking of Arya's looks as "horsey" with a negative connotation:

Her long horsey face got the stubborn look that meant she was going to do something willful. [...] One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father. - Sansa II, AGOT

She also giggles at and uses Jeyne's nicknames for Hobber and Horas Redwyne:

The Redwyne twins, Ser Horas and Ser Hobber, homely youths with orange hair and square, freckled faces. Sansa and Jeyne Poole used to call them Ser Horror and Ser Slobber, and giggle whenever they caught sight of them. - Arya V, AGOT

She recognized black-skinned Jalabhar Xho, gloomy Ser Aron Santagar, the Redwyne twins Horror and Slobber - Sansa V, ACOK

Paxter Redwyne, Lord of the Arbor, marched down the length of the hall flanked by his twin sons Horror and Slobber, - Sansa VIII, ACOK

And seeing her snicker at those names is already enough for me to pin her as a passive victimiser in their case. Even if she felt bad about it, something I could find no indication of. Sansa doesn't think of how painful it must be for them to be referred to that way, how dehumanising it is.

So, with that information, I don't think she's above having called Arya "Horseface".

Ⅴ. Adulthood

Where are the adults? Why is it that during the entire time we spend with these three girls under the care of Septa Mordane, Ned and Catelyn Stark and Vayon Poole we never see them taking action and putting a stop to this?

DontbotherwiththepronunciationRightNowRealisingTheySpentWayTooMuchFuckingTimeDevelopingAPunchlineTheyLost: Probably because this book isn't about medieval setting middle school bullying, you idiot! And there is a lot of really urgent stuff going on with the adults. Get over yourself.

Yeah...

But still! Prior to all that, prior to the story we've been reading, these characters existed in their own universe and in that universe, all these girls have been judged by adult society and have been set in a toxic environment that unintentionally allows and encourages the bullying.

I already explained that when talking about Septa Mordane.

My question now isn't whether we should fault the adults or not, but more about how this would have developed as Arya, Jeyne and Sansa all became adults.

Of corse, this is all speculation on a rather unimportant topic that has been discussed hundreds of times before and my opinion is probably somewhat tainted by lingering emotions, so yeah this might have been worthless but I couldn't sleep and it was a little fun.

Perhaps because of my own issues with bullying, which were handed very poorly by the adults who should have solved it, I like daydreaming about these three girls, all of who I like and wish good things upon, and wondering whether they would have been able to solve their problems as they matured into adulthood if their lives had remained peaceful. I sadly don't think they would have.

Throughout the entire text I wrote, I felt like walking on egg shells because, as you can probably see if you just look at my blog, I barely talk about Arya or Sansa and I know there is a lot of tension between fans of those characters and I didn't want to say anything that could feel offensive and somehow it was still surprisingly easy to write this. I think maybe it is because I don't relate to any of the characters, like I do with Theon or Barbrey, so I can distance myself from it a little more. On the other hand, this is a topic that still haunts me.

I really don't think they would have solved any of this if they had remained in Winterfell with things going the way they usually went.

But now, after being completely torn and victimised by war in extremely different ways that still somehow manage to bring similar themes to their stories (the always present threat of sexual abuse, the weaponising of a person, depersonalisation, dead parents, a broken home, losing their privileges as highborn, being saved by the Hound), once they reunite and are the only bonds that remains of a happier time, I think they could.

Maybe their newly found maturity and the despair born out of tragedy could make it easier to overcome all their past offences and forge a bond.

It's strange. I always go for the bitter, resentful and scorned women - I wonder why - (Barb, Cersei) or those who have aspects I can relate to cultural duality, immigration or rootlessness (Theon, Dany) but never for the more-or-less-happily-gender-conforming "damsel in distress", much less for one who reminds me of some of the worst people I've met, and yet out of the three girls involved in this she is the one I am the most attached to.

I think she mostly grew on me after I learnt she was omitted from the show and that her narrative was given to Sansa because that is such a cruel joke from D&D.

Jeyne Poole: Hey! I am the character meant to show how everyone is valuable, worthy and deserving of being saved and protected and how everyone matters and also to further develop Theon's character while functioning as a symbol of his culpability and regret of the three vilest things he has done(among other things of course)! D&D: Ok, we are cutting her because she is not important enough to matter. Give her plot to the barely adult red-headed Stark so Theon can find redemption by saving a Stark and getting a wolf pin and we can shiptease Sansa with a bunch of people and marketise her as an ice queen girlboss.

It's so mean it's a little funny. On a meta level I think she is the biggest loser in this series. I think that is why I like her so much. I liked her before I knew of that and I remember crying at @/croclock's art of her and Theon escaping (1) (2) (3), but I didn't feel as emotionally attached to her until after I found out.

I remember when I watched the show there was a scene that caused a lot of controversy that I can somehow relate to this.

Sandor Clegane: You've changed, Little Bird. None of it would have happened if you'd left King's Landing with me. No Littlefinger, no Ramsay... none of it. Sansa Stark: Without Littlefinger and Ramsay and the rest, I would have stayed a Little Bird all my life.

And of course this dialogue is gross and it doesn't make any sense in the books, and I still wrote it down on my journals because I think, maybe trying to be an optimist, that the message behind it was different than what was actually said???

It comes across as "I'm happy and grateful I was abused and raped" which is nauseating, obviously, but I think it was rather supposed to be more of a "All the choices I've made across my life and all the events that occurred through it have lead me here, to become the person I am today and I am proud of that person." which could still have been controversial, but is something I would have agreed with more, and it's not something I would only apply on these girls.

Maybe we'll get such a moment at some point with a better execution, hopefully, in the books.

#speaking #this escalated.#like to an entire different level I didn't knew existed #I just finished reading it and I honestly thin the fact this happened is better and funnier than whatever dumb joke I wanted to originally #make. I am so sorry for whoever opens the read more. This is hilarious #that's what a breakfast lunch and dinner consisting of ibuprofen and sink water will do to you #I feel like if I tag this I will get into trouble or at least blocked a lot so I will tag this as #Arya-Jeyne-Sansa thing #for now #I forgot the goddamn joke #My biggest fear about this is that it is so long no one will finish reading it (which would be kind of funny)#fuck it #I am posting it!#the narrative didn't doom me it just ditched me #Jeyne Poole #beth cassel #septa mordane #arya stark #sansa stark

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